A pony superhero in a universe of superheroes. Also, chimichangas.
Smiles Galore is a normal earth pony, or as normal as one can be when you have the ability to break the fourth wall, a roommate who manages to burn smoothies, and a secret double life as the snarky, wisecracking defender of the city. So, not very normal.
But her life gets even weirder when she is suddenly transported to an alternate universe where the master race is some sort of intelligent ape... And many of said apes have powers even wilder than hers.
I do not own Marvel or Mlp. Please do not sue me, as I don't understand all that boring legal stuff.
Smiles Galore dashed across the rooftops, occasionally teleporting when the gap was too wide. Something flashed by down below, and Smiles screeched to a halt. Looks like something's finally happening tonight. Ooo, thought bubble! She dropped down from the rooftop to investigate, bouncing on the thought bubble to make less noise.
She landed about ten feet away from the figure, which revealed itself to be a blue unicorn stallion in a hat and trench coat. He was carrying something that looked somewhat like a sci-fi ray gun and somewhat like a plastic water pistol. Smiles decided to stop him, as ponies in trench coats walking in alleyways at night were usually up to no good.
"Hey there mister!!" She squeaked, scaring the pony in the alleyway. "Awfully late for somepony to be out."
"S-s-stay back!" The unicorn brandished his sci-fi water pistol at her. "I have a gun, a-and I'm not afraid to use it!"
Smiles snorted. "Come on, even I'm not that stupid. You might be though." She slowly started walking towards the unicorn, who backed up to the wall. "Now how about you put that down, and we -"
Zap! The unicorn shot the gun at her, but she had already disappeared. "Oh, come on! At least let me finish!" Smiles complained from her perch on the fire escape.
"H-how did you do that?!" The stallion stumbled back in amazement, knocking into a garbage can. "You're j-just an Earth pony!"
"Just an Earth pony? That's like calling Spitfire JUST a pegasus." Smiles huffed. "Sir, you have offended me!" She jumped down in front of the unicorn and began walking towards him. "If you put down the stage prop, I MIGHT consider letting you go."
Instead of doing what she had asked, the unicorn fired again, this time at point-blank. Unfortunately, the beam of energy did nothing much, just flash different colors and fizzle out. Both ponies were silent for a moment, then Smiles spoke. "Honestly, I thought that would do more." Then she puffed out her chest. "Just goes to show that you don't mess with the Jester!"
Smiles then opened her eyes to find that the unicorn had disappeared. What? I didn't even hear his flash! She quickly teleported from one place to the next, looking for the strange stallion. Unless he was as powerful as Twilight, he couldn't have gotten far. What she didn't know was that the missing criminal was going to be the least of her worries.
"Well now I know! Thanks for that!"
Wait- what?! You aren't supposed to be here! Get back to searching!
"But you just said that the missing pony was the least of my problems! I want to know what's worse than a disappearing criminal!"
You'll find out later. Now go so we can move on.
"But I want to know now!"
Just get back to the story, ok?! I need to transition to the next scene.
Spiderman swung through the streets of New York, jumping from building to building. Suddenly, his Spider Sense started blaring. There's nothing around me that could be dangerous! Why is it setting off? All of a sudden, a pink and purple blur fell from nowhere, landing on his outstretched arm. "Sorry'boutthat, gottago!" Just as suddenly, the figure disappeared, reappearing on a nearby rooftop.
"What was that?!" Spidey said, landing in front of his assailant. She appeared to be maybe fifteen, sixteen at the most, but it was hard to tell because of the mask. Her wavy brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail and the tips were dyed mint green. Her costume was mainly pink and purple with black accents.
"Sorry about that mister! I have no idea what happened!" She struggled to stand but fell over. "One second I'm trying to find the one pony who got away, and the next it's broad daylight and I'm falling from the sky!"
"Wait... pony?"
"Well duh, what else would it be?" She snorted. "A bugbear? Actually, there was Chi-neighse one that owned a jewellery store. Hmmm.."
Spidey was extremely confused. What in the world was this girl talking about? "Look, I've got places to be, you okay on your own?" He asked.
"Yeah, I'll be fine, though the fingers will take some getting used to." She replied, staring at her hands. Then she saw how Spiderman was staring. "Go, I'll be perfectly fine!"
"Ok..." and Spidey swung off into the city.
Smiles stood up carefully, and took a look at her surroundings. "Lets see what this world has to offer." She took a step forward, and fell flat on her face. "But first, I need to learn to walk."
Banana Split opened the door to her apartment and trotted in. She had finally come back from her month long trip to Caneighda, and it was good to be home. "Smiles! I'm back!" Split opened the door to her roommate's bedroom, but nopony was there. Strange... Split set down her suitcases and began searching the apartment. No Smiles, not even a note saying where she had gone. "Where could she be?"
Split shrugged. Her friend was probably working late again. But Smiles had the morning shift.... And it was almost two in the morning. Split gasped. What if Smiles had been kidnapped or hurt?! Or what if she had gotten murdered by one of those vicious alley ponies?!? Split picked up the phone and dialed 911.
"Hello?" Said Banana Split nervously. "I'd like to report a missing pony."
Knock, knock, knock. The policemare had been standing there for about five minutes. Finally, a tall yellow pegasus answered the door. "Can I help you?"
"Oh, um.. Yes!" The policemare pulled a sheet of paper from her saddlebags. "Are you Mr. Evergreen Sprout?"
"Yes mam. What seems to be the problem?"
The policemare frowned. She hated this part of her job the most. "Mr. Evergreen, your daughter's gone missing."
Smiles took a deep breath. "Come on. You can do this. One... two... three!" She darted across the rooftop, stopping at the edge. It had taken over two hours, but she had finally gotten the hang of using these strange legs. "Yesyesyes!! Finally!" She grinned at the city below. "All right folks! The Jester's gonna put on a show for you!" She pulled a gigantic rubber hammer from her saddlebags, which had helpfully transformed into a backpack, and set off, bouncing and dashing her way across the city.
Smiles laughed as she dropped down to street level. These people were so easily startled! She hopped on top of a cab and began leaping from car to car. Several people began honking at her, but she just laughed harder. "Whatsa matter folks? You never seen a superpony before?" She leaped onto a truck and used her hammer to bounce onto a ledge. During her performance, storm clouds had rolled in and lightning began to flash. Smiles tucked away her hammer and pulled out a purple polka-dotted umbrella.
"Halt, mortal!" Smiles looked up and saw a man with long blond hair in battle armour flying towards her. "You have tormented the people of this fair city long enough! Now you shall-"
"Hold on a sec, mister. Torment? NonononoNO, sir I perform!" Smiles grinned at the man who continued to frown at her. "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta find shelter from the storm." She leaped of the ledge, used her umbrella to float down, and began to walk off.
Suddenly, she teleported back, hanging from his ankles. "Also, WHAT ARE THOOOOOOSE?!" Cackling, she dropped back to the street and ran off.
Thor considered showing this foolish child what the God of Thunder can do, but he decided against it. After all, she hadn't done anything wrong. Nevertheless, she seemed dangerous. Thor flew off to report his encounter to the other Avengers.
Smiles sat on a fire escape in an alley, rummaging through her backpack. From the outside it looked empty, but there were in fact all sorts of things, some of which had been lost to the ages. There was King Arthur's crown, an Impressionist painting, several sets of keys, the blacksmith, and even the Seventh Element of Harmony. There was also a wide selection of weapons, helmets, suits, and clothing. Smiles finally pulled out a pair of jeans, a pink t-shirt, and a pair of flats.
After changing, Smiles pulled the scrunchie from her ponytail and put everything into her bag. "Well let's see how well I can blend in." And she walked off, blending into the crowded streets of the city.
Smiles walked around the city, looking at the buildings that were so familiar, yet so different. The people here were extremely rude and grumpy, not even willing to participate in a musical number. And even the grumpiest ponies back home sang in the musical numbers. But seeing as nopony here was any fun, she decided to be a tourist for a bit.
While on the ferry to the Statue of Liberty, Smiles thought about home. What was happening? How long had she been gone? Would Split have called the police? Was Split even back from her trip? Smiles shook her head. She was being so careless, sightseeing and joking around instead of trying to find a way back home. "I know!" She exclaimed.
Taking out a piece of paper and a pencil from her backpack, she carefully wrote a message to Split. Then wrapping it up with a ribbon, she stuck it in a rusty old mailbox she found in her backpack and put up the flag. Moments later, the flag went down and the mailbox disappeared. With that taken care of, she looked back at the statue.
______________________________
Banana Split paced the apartment, slowly wearing a hole in the carpet. It had been two days since she had gotten back from her trip, and there was still no sign of Smiles. Suddenly, a scroll dropped from nowhere and fell onto the carpet. Split picked it up, untied the ribbon, and read the note.
Split, Don't worry about me. I got called away on a trip and won't be back for a while. If you called the police, please tell them to call the search off. Love, Smiles.
"Smiles! This doesn't help!" Split stomped the letter down angrily. "Where are you?!"
_____________________________
Smiles climbed the stairs slowly, trying her hardest not to fall. When she finally reached the top, she sat down next to the stairwell. These new legs were still a bit strange, with the knees being backward and all. Suddenly, a black glob of something splattered itself across the observation window.
Smiles got up and ran to the window. Stretching away from the window was a thick string of the gunk, attached to some sort of monster that looked an awful lot like the guy she had met earlier. Smiles ran from the window and teleported away as quickly as possible.
The monster crashed through the window, scaring the people in room. "WhErE iSsS tHe sSpIdEr?!" it hissed. One of the children whimpered and pressed against the wall. "wE WaNt ThE sSsPiDeR!!" The creature roared, strands of it shooting out in different directions. Several of the people screamed.
"Hey Mister Tall, Dark, and Ugly!" Yelled Smiles.The monster turned around and got a metal baseball bat to the face. "The freak show is in town and they asked for your resume!" She laughed and swung her bat at it again, but it lashed out and knocked the bat out of her hands. "Uh oh! Does the baby need a nap?"
"I aM nO bAbY, fOoL! i Am VeNoM!" He roared and leaped at Smiles, who teleported out of the way. Pulling a sword out of her backpack, she rushed him.
"Whoops!" She shrieked right next to Venom's ear, sticking the sword into his back. However, the sword was absorbed into the creature. "... Can I run now? No? Ok." Smiles dashed for the window, and leaped out. Venom followed, but Smiles teleported back inside the state's head.
"Everypony out now!" She yelled, and began herding people back down the stairs. Just as she was pushing the last few people out the door, a black web covered the escape. Now two children were trapped in the room with Smiles and Venom.
"yOu WiLl DiE, bUg!" Venom screeched, sending several thick strands her way. Smiles flipped and dodged out of the way, but one of the children got trapped by the symbiote.
"Hey Superfan! Little help?!" Smiles yelled. She pulled another sword out of her backpack and tossed it at the monster. "That didn't work before! Why are you making me do that again?!?"
Because it's a fight scene. Just beat the stupid thing, I'm running out of ideas for this.
"I can't BEAT it, if I don't know how to beat it!" Smiles cried. She cut the child loose and continued dodging Venom's attacks. "If you keep this going for much longer, I'm going to lose! At least give me a hint!"
Fine. It hates loud noises and fire. Figure it out.
Smiles stopped suddenly, allowing Venom to catch her. As it dragged her towards the edge, she pulled an air horn and megaphone out of her backpack. The children screamed as Venom opened its mouth impossibly wide, preparing to finish her off.
Then Smiles blasted the air horn directly into the megaphone. Venom screeched as it let go of her, writhing in pain. The symbiote began peeling away, revealing a man. Smiles began walking towards Venom, still blasting the air horn. Finally it tore away from the man, still writhing about. Quick as a flash, Smiles grabbed a jar from her backpack and trapped the symbiote. Breathing a sigh of relief, she tossed the closed jar into her backpack.
The two children were huddled on the ground, tears streaming down their faces. "You okay?" Smiles asked, crouching next to them. They both nodded, and Smiles picked them up. "Good. Now let's get you down." Smiles teleported down to the crowd gathered below.
Three ambulances and several police cars were parked in front of the statue and tending to the people. Smiles let the two kids down and pulled the jar containing Venom out of her backpack. "There's still one more guy up there." She told a police officer, handing him the jar. "And you might want to put this in a safe place."
"Can we have your name, miss?" Asked a reporter. "That was some amazing work you did back there."
"I'm the Jester, ma'am, and you'd better believe that I'm going to keep doing this until the day I die." Smiles said proudly. She hopped on top of a police car, and pulled out her giant rubber hammer. "See ya!" She said, as she sprang away, laughing.
"Well that was fun." Smiles said to herself, watching the sun set from her perch on the Empire State Building. "But I should probably find somewhere to turn in for the night." Grabbing onto her speech bubble, she bounced her way to the ground, startling several pedestrians. She found an alley that looked deserted and put her t-shirt and jeans on over her outfit. Stuffing her mask into her backpack, Smiles turned to go.
And found three shady looking men blocking her path. "Hand over the bag, kid, and you won't get a bullet to the head." One said.
"But there's nothing in here!" Smiles protested. "Why would you want an empty bag?"
"Quit lying, we saw you put somethin' in there." Another of the men said, holding out his hand. "Now hand it over." Smiles handed him the bag, which he gave to the guy behind him.
"Hey boss, there ain't anything in here!" Said the third, rifling through the backpack. "The girl wasn't lying!"
"Told ya so." Smiles said, shrugging innocently. "Now if I could have that back..."
"Not yet. Hand over your wallet, kid." Holding the gun up to Smiles' head, the mugger held out his hand for cash.
Instead he got a roundhouse kick to the face. Hearing two whistling noises, Smiles turned around to find the other two muggers pinned to the wall by arrows. Thinking fast, she threw her third opponent against the wall, where another arrow sliced through his coat, pinning him there as well. "Now, may I please have my bag back?" Grabbing it from her former captor's hand, she teleported up to the figure standing on the roof above her.
"Oh, and thanks, Mr. Archery Guy, but I had it under control." With that she dashed off across the rooftops, leaving behind a very confused Hawkeye. ______________________________
It had been three days since Smiles disappeared, and the only clue as to where she had gone was the note. Split had been given the week off work because of what happened, but now she had nothing to keep her mind off of her friend's disappearance. She had been slumped on the couch for over an hour now, watching dust particles float through the sunlight. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
But when Banana Split opened the door, no one was there. All there was was a scrap of paper. Picking up the note, Split read: I know how to find your friend. Come to the alley on 3rd tonight at midnight. Tell no one else and bring no one else, or you never see her again. "Oh no... Smiles, what did you do?"
Banana Split trotted along the sidewalk, looking for the alleyway. It was nearly midnight, and the streets were nearly deserted. Pulling her sweatshirt hood over her head, Split tried to avoid the streetlights. dun dun dun da doo doo, bum bum ba dada. When she reached the alley, an unicorn stallion was waiting.
He was about half a foot taller than she was, and looked like a good deal of his smoky blue fur had fallen out or been burned. He wore a ragged red and black jumpsuit, and smirked slightly as she approached. "Are you looking for a missing mare, miss?" He asked.
"You know where she is?" Split asked cautiously.
"Nope. But I know somepony who does. Follow me." Walking down to the end of the alley, the strange stallion stopped in front of a pair of rusty trash cans. "You coming?" He called back to the rather confused Banana Split. "Or do you want to see your friend again?" Split took a deep breath and followed after the mysterious pony. He knocked on the cans in a pattern that was too quick for Split to commit to memory. He then took a step back and waited.
One minute passed. Then two. "Um... is something supposed to happen?"
"Nope!" Snorted the unicorn. "I just wanted to see you stand there like a moron. Now hold completely still, I don't think you want to lose body parts in the transit." His horn began glowing a brilliant blue.
"Transit?" Split asked. She then disappeared in a flash of light.
________________________
Smiles leaped down the steps to the strange underground train. Rather than call it something nice like the Friendship Express, the ponies here called it the 'subway'. She leaped over the turnstile and peered down the tunnel. Hearing a crash behind her she discovered a seriously injured man in a torn and bloodied red and black jumpsuit who had fallen through the roof... somehow? "Jeez, are you ok?" She asked, clearing some of the rubble from the area. "I mean, you obviously aren't but Celestia almighty! What happened?"
"I was attacked by an undead president." Groaned the mangled figure. "And you might want to get out of the way." He continued, getting up and diving away from the hole. Smiles disappeared as another person crashed through the roof, reappearing in an alley up above. She pulled on her mask, gloves, and boots and snatched a sword from her backpack, then jumped through the massive hole to the subway.
The guy from earlier seemed to be doing better, although still pretty beat up. He was currently charging someone who Smiles assumed was the undead president thingy. Deciding to help out, Smiles stabbed the president through his? yeah, his chair and sliced him in half from the stomach up.
"Well that's rather rude, isn't it?" Asked the president, wheeling himself around. "I do believe that you are about to receive your comeuppance for trying to assassinate the 32nd president of the United States."
"Oh right, the whole undead thing. Still have no idea what a prezimajig is though." Smiles sighed, shoving him back into her ally's path. "Let's see, what undoes nemocracy?" She mused while the fight raged on behind her.
"Counterspell? Nope, not a unicorn. Slice and dice? Takes too long. Friendship? Doesn't really seem friendly. Electricity?" Smiles grinned at the flickering lights above. "Bingo."
Bouncing up toward one of the lighting fixtures, she slashed the wires and hung from them, careful to avoid the ends. "Hey massacre victim! Toss the rolling corpse up here!" The mangled man obliged, and Smiles caught the chair handle."Let's hope you can appreciate this shocking turn of events!" Bringing him up to her other hand, she knocked more cement out and wrapped her adversary in the exposed wires.
The undead man shook as sparks flew and the lights flickered. Suddenly, he exploded into a splatter of goop and melted bone, leaving only a smoking chair hanging from the ceiling. "Ha! I wasn't sure if that would work." Smiles grinned, beginning to wipe zombie goop off her sleeves. "Jester, by the way." She continued, holding out her hand to the man who was currently trying to reattach his arm.
Her ally dropped the arm and shook her hand. "Deadpool. Would you mind lending me a hand? Kinda need one at the moment."
"That was bad." Said another lady who had rushed down the stairs. She was soon followed by several other people all wearing black jumpsuits with some sort of bird crest on the shoulder. "Deadpool we'd like to offer you a job."
Deadpool immediately snatched his arm off the ground and dashed for the exit. As he reached the top of the stairs, he called back, "Sorry lady, but I'm going on vacay! Don't wait up for me!" And with that he disappeared from the story, making sure to delete all the notes I had on him.
"Well shit." The woman stared up at where Deadpool had disappeared. "Now who's going to be the scapegoat?"
"What's a scapegoat? Does it mean I get to do more hero things?" Smiles asked, swinging from one of the lighting fixtures. "Cause that was fun!" Dropping next to the woman in black, she giggled. "Although I still don't know what a press indent is. Is it like a princess?"
"Are... you saying you would willingly battle undead people... for the fun of it?" The woman looked at Smiles incredulously. "Nevermind. My name is Agent Preston. Welcome to Shield."
________________
Split had a pounding headache. Note to self: don't look directly into a flash. Ahhh, that hurts! Once her vision had cleared, she took a look around.
She appeared to be in some sort of cavern. The dark ceiling loomed above, and the floor beneath her hooves was smooth, cold obsidian. A trail of pale blue lights led deeper into the cave. Split began trotting along the path, noticing that the lights went out as she passed. She eventually came to a smaller side chamber which was lit by several more of the strange lights. In the center of the room was not a throne, or even a really impressive chair, but a desk stacked with papers. Sitting at this desk was a rather scrawny unicorn stallion, who jumped up as she approached.
"Oh good, you must be the new test subject Grey found! Or are you here for the Jester?" He said, dragging her to to a specific spot in the room. "Well either way, you ought to be back in three days or so." He continued, pulling out some sort of strange ray gun. "Call if you need anything, ok?" With that he pulled the trigger.
Quicker than you can say "Wait, what?" Banana Split disappeared.
