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H-h-h-h-hey there!1,008 words
Have at thee!547 words
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Hello!... Goodbye!478 words
Subway Sparks and Seeming Stupid1,219 words

Subway Sparks and Seeming Stupid

Author's Note:

For the many people who requested Deadpool, especially God of Physics. There ya go.
*falls asleep on the desk*
Wee! That one was fun Ms. Superfan! Uhh... Ms. Superfan?
Also, I'm going to add the gore tag for Deadpool and possible future occurrences.

Banana Split trotted along the sidewalk, looking for the alleyway. It was nearly midnight, and the streets were nearly deserted. Pulling her sweatshirt hood over her head, Split tried to avoid the streetlights. dun dun dun da doo doo, bum bum ba dada. When she reached the alley, an unicorn stallion was waiting.

He was about half a foot taller than she was, and looked like a good deal of his smoky blue fur had fallen out or been burned. He wore a ragged red and black jumpsuit, and smirked slightly as she approached. "Are you looking for a missing mare, miss?" He asked.

"You know where she is?" Split asked cautiously.

"Nope. But I know somepony who does. Follow me." Walking down to the end of the alley, the strange stallion stopped in front of a pair of rusty trash cans. "You coming?" He called back to the rather confused Banana Split. "Or do you want to see your friend again?" Split took a deep breath and followed after the mysterious pony. He knocked on the cans in a pattern that was too quick for Split to commit to memory. He then took a step back and waited.

One minute passed. Then two. "Um... is something supposed to happen?"

"Nope!" Snorted the unicorn. "I just wanted to see you stand there like a moron. Now hold completely still, I don't think you want to lose body parts in the transit." His horn began glowing a brilliant blue.

"Transit?" Split asked. She then disappeared in a flash of light.

________________________

Smiles leaped down the steps to the strange underground train. Rather than call it something nice like the Friendship Express, the ponies here called it the 'subway'. She leaped over the turnstile and peered down the tunnel. Hearing a crash behind her she discovered a seriously injured man in a torn and bloodied red and black jumpsuit who had fallen through the roof... somehow? "Jeez, are you ok?" She asked, clearing some of the rubble from the area. "I mean, you obviously aren't but Celestia almighty! What happened?"

"I was attacked by an undead president." Groaned the mangled figure. "And you might want to get out of the way." He continued, getting up and diving away from the hole. Smiles disappeared as another person crashed through the roof, reappearing in an alley up above. She pulled on her mask, gloves, and boots and snatched a sword from her backpack, then jumped through the massive hole to the subway.

The guy from earlier seemed to be doing better, although still pretty beat up. He was currently charging someone who Smiles assumed was the undead president thingy. Deciding to help out, Smiles stabbed the president through his? yeah, his chair and sliced him in half from the stomach up.

"Well that's rather rude, isn't it?" Asked the president, wheeling himself around. "I do believe that you are about to receive your comeuppance for trying to assassinate the 32nd president of the United States."

"Oh right, the whole undead thing. Still have no idea what a prezimajig is though." Smiles sighed, shoving him back into her ally's path. "Let's see, what undoes nemocracy?" She mused while the fight raged on behind her.

"Counterspell? Nope, not a unicorn. Slice and dice? Takes too long. Friendship? Doesn't really seem friendly. Electricity?" Smiles grinned at the flickering lights above. "Bingo."

Bouncing up toward one of the lighting fixtures, she slashed the wires and hung from them, careful to avoid the ends. "Hey massacre victim! Toss the rolling corpse up here!" The mangled man obliged, and Smiles caught the chair handle."Let's hope you can appreciate this shocking turn of events!" Bringing him up to her other hand, she knocked more cement out and wrapped her adversary in the exposed wires.

The undead man shook as sparks flew and the lights flickered. Suddenly, he exploded into a splatter of goop and melted bone, leaving only a smoking chair hanging from the ceiling. "Ha! I wasn't sure if that would work." Smiles grinned, beginning to wipe zombie goop off her sleeves. "Jester, by the way." She continued, holding out her hand to the man who was currently trying to reattach his arm.

Her ally dropped the arm and shook her hand. "Deadpool. Would you mind lending me a hand? Kinda need one at the moment."

"That was bad." Said another lady who had rushed down the stairs. She was soon followed by several other people all wearing black jumpsuits with some sort of bird crest on the shoulder. "Deadpool we'd like to offer you a job."

Deadpool immediately snatched his arm off the ground and dashed for the exit. As he reached the top of the stairs, he called back, "Sorry lady, but I'm going on vacay! Don't wait up for me!" And with that he disappeared from the story, making sure to delete all the notes I had on him.

"Well shit." The woman stared up at where ~~Deadpool~~ had disappeared. "Now who's going to be the scapegoat?"

"What's a scapegoat? Does it mean I get to do more hero things?" Smiles asked, swinging from one of the lighting fixtures. "Cause that was fun!" Dropping next to the woman in black, she giggled. "Although I still don't know what a press indent is. Is it like a princess?"

"Are... you saying you would willingly battle undead people... for the fun of it?" The woman looked at Smiles incredulously. "Nevermind. My name is Agent Preston. Welcome to Shield."

________________

Split had a pounding headache. Note to self: don't look directly into a flash. Ahhh, that hurts! Once her vision had cleared, she took a look around.

She appeared to be in some sort of cavern. The dark ceiling loomed above, and the floor beneath her hooves was smooth, cold obsidian. A trail of pale blue lights led deeper into the cave. Split began trotting along the path, noticing that the lights went out as she passed. She eventually came to a smaller side chamber which was lit by several more of the strange lights. In the center of the room was not a throne, or even a really impressive chair, but a desk stacked with papers. Sitting at this desk was a rather scrawny unicorn stallion, who jumped up as she approached.

"Oh good, you must be the new test subject Grey found! Or are you here for the Jester?" He said, dragging her to to a specific spot in the room. "Well either way, you ought to be back in three days or so." He continued, pulling out some sort of strange ray gun. "Call if you need anything, ok?" With that he pulled the trigger.

Quicker than you can say "Wait, what?" Banana Split disappeared.

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