The Pirates of Manehattan

by Tower of 0

First published

A band of pirates have made a landing in Manehattan, and take somepony, rather someone, as ransom...

A band of pirate ponies make port in Manehattan. Looking for some quick bits and a big payout, they fillynap a certain human from a specific pair of mares and hold him ransom. Or is it human-napping?

Derpy and Vinyl want to find a way to get Justin back, before the pirates do something bad happens to him. Justin, on the other hoof, has plans of his own for these would-be human-nabbing pirates.

Probably a short story for whatever reason I feel it should be.

[WARNING: There is no warning!]

Just Another Day for a Human

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Justin couldn't help but think about the dreams he had last night about the two mares he cared for the most, and one that was eager to make clothed for his species despite being the only one there. It felt.. real. Kinda awesome he supposed. He shook his head, clearing away any thoughts he had before continuing on down the streets of Manehattan.

He still got looks from the ponies that were on the sidewalks, to which he responded with exaggerated winks, pointing with his fingers, smiling, or just making a funny face. The last action yielded the best results as ponies would be surprised and their faces were priceless in reaction to his. The smiles he gave were returned with the same from some of the ponies he passed. It made Justin feel sorta like Pinkie Pie, only without the physics breaking, wild demeanor, and random things just being pulled out of nowhere.

Justin started to whistle the tune to one of Pinkie's songs as he turned into an alleyway for a shortcut to.. somewhere. He honestly had no idea where he was going. Which, at first, seemed like a good idea to navigate the city without a guide. Justin then fell to the ground, his vision going as a pain grew in the back of his head. Justin then blacked out.

He later came to with some rope bounding him to a piece of wood. Justin blinked a couple times as he came to senses and started to note a few things. First off, he noticed that he was on the deck of a ship, somehow. Second, he noticed that the city of Manehattan was a ways away that they had a nice Pony of Harmony... or something along those lines that can be connected to the Earth counterpart. Third were that his binds weren't even properly tied, meaning that whoever tied them had a hard time even reaching.

A whistle blew from somewhere up high, and the deck suddenly started to fill with ponies of all shapes, sizes, even races. Although it was more of a small band of seven with a short stuff of a unicorn that stopped to look up at him. He just stared back with a blank expression.

"Boo." Justin jumped a bit, causing the small blue unicorn to squeak and take a few steps back.

"Cap'n!" The unicorn yelled out in the most adorable voice the human had ever heard before running up to a higher deck and standing near the door. "Cap'n! Our's captive is awakes!"

The door suddenly flew open and a red mare stepped out with a dark tricorn that had gold lining on her head, her mane was a bit of a mess but braided in some places. She walked up to the railing and stared down Justin with the most piercing pink eyes he ever did see. Promptly making her way to one of the stairs and trotting up to the human with a small smile.

"So.. you're the creature one of me crew picked out of an alley?" She asked, tracing a hoof along the bottom of his chin. "My, and exotic animal such as yourself may even catch a fair price on a different market rather than ransom."

"Ransom? Alright, just who the hell are you and what exactly do you want me for?" Justin asked and she stepped back a bit and giggled.

"I'm the captain of this ship." She responded, the human just rolled his eyes. "Captain Scarlet Gem, but you can just call me Scarlet."

Justin just huffed a bit. "Well, Captain, if I may.. but that doesn't exactly enlighten me on the situation I seemed to have been drug into."

The small, yet adorable unicorn scampered up next to Captain Scarlet. "We's gonna holds you's for ransom! If we's don't gets the bits, then we's makes you's walk the plank!"

"By Celestia are you freaking adorable." Justin squeed audibly at the small ones mannerisms and tone. "I just want to cuddle you so hard!"

"Silence!" Scarlet snapped at him. "You might as well enjoy your stay handsome, cause when we find out just who you belong to is when we'll issue a ransom....and if we don't find them.. well.. you better hope to the sun that you're worth a lot more in an auction."

Justin just gulped a bit while he started to steadily formulate a plan to escape himself. "I just hope that Vinyl and Derpy won't find them first..."

That Evening

Derpy rushed into the apartment in a frenzy. Simultaneously trying to fly and gallop as she stumbled about. Vinyl was calmly rocking her head to some of her music that was excellently flowing out of her headphones. She was sitting on the bed with a magazine in her hooves and flipping through some of the pages.

The grey Pegasus mare barreled right into the room and jumped onto unicorn and started to shake her back and forth wildly. All Vinyl could see was a blur of grey and yellow. and music pumping into her ears. Eventually she got fed up with it an pushed Derpy away from her just a bit and removed her headphones and glared.

"Derpy! Just what in the hay is wrong with you?!" Vinyl asked.

Derpy was panting, huffing, and puffing, trying to regain her breath. "Justin... he's.. gone!"

"Oh don't be silly, Derpy... I'm sure he's just fine." Vinyl waved off as she started to look for that magazine.

"But he's been gone for hours!" Derpy retorted worriedly. "I can't find him anywhere!"

Vinyl looked over to the mare and saw the look of genuine worry in her somewhat off center eyes. IT wasn't uncommon that Derpy became worried about things, even if they were little, but Vinyl could see that she may have been serious. Not wanting to believe it just yet, Vinyl nodded slightly.

"Okay.. if he isn't back by morning, we'll go looking for him tomorrow. Deal?" Vinyl solemnly asked before getting tackled again.

"Deal!" Derpy squealed as she launched herself at Vinyl and tackling her off the bed.

Back on the ship

"Dammit.. I gotta use the bathroom." Justin muttered to himself as he looked at the two ponies guarding him.

For some reason, they decided that he was now a threat when awake. The two seemed to be playing cards barely able to keep awake. One of them was built bigger and more to be a brute while the other seemed to be of average build. They both were trying to stay awake, then a light bulb, invisible of course, went off above the human's head.
"I sure hope those singing lessons with Fluttershy pay off" Justin took a silent inhale and remembered one tune he remembered her singing. "~Hush Now, Quiet Now-~"

They immediately fell to the deck and interrupted his singing with a very loud snore. Justin looked on while trying to hold back his laughing. He knew his singing voice wasn't quite up there to Fluttershy's, but it did tickle him to see that he barely had to put any effort into lullabying the stallions to sleep. His next step was to loosen the bindings a bit more, easily done as he started shimmying them down until they hit his feet.

Justin then went below deck and was surprised to find out just how many more ponies were on the ship. He only saw the eight on deck, if he included that Captain Scarlet mare. Down here was a lot more of the crew. Silently and steadfast as possible, he tiptoed his way around the stallions and mares scattered about the deck. Some in groups, some by themselves, and some up on a rafter or two. Justin tried to stay away from the groups, stepping over the single sleepers, and had an even harder time trying to dodge any hooves dangling from the rafters.

He was thankful that this deck was designed a bit to his height or a similar bipedal creature. He came to a halt in front of a port hole and started blankly from the darkness as a thought entered his head.

"Dammit!" He cursed to himself as silently as he could. "I have no idea where I'm going..."

Justin froze as he head a nearby stallion groan sleepily and slowly started to look around. He didn't spot the human, which was good. The stallion yawned as he was about to fall back asleep, but a hand shot out of the darkness and slapped itself against his muzzle and clamped his mouth. He would only let out a muffled yelp at the contact, his eyes following the arm into darkness.

His eyes shrunk to pinpricks as he saw the captive's face edge out of the darkness with a smile. Closing the distance rather dangerously.

"Hi!" The human whispered so that the stallion could hear. "I have a small question. Where's the bathrooms?"

The stallion started to ramble a bit as he pointed to a door nearby, slightly shaking as his words were muffled. The human smiled wider. thanked him, kissed his forehead, and left without other word. The stallion started to quietly cry himself back to sleep. Obviously shaken from the encounter as he slide down to the floor.

Justin entered the little colts' room to find out something interesting about this pirate ship: it had plumbing. He scratched his head for a bit as he looked at all the pipes leading all over the place. The bathroom itself looked like a public restroom, a surprising feature for a somewhat small vessel. He had a feeling he was going to have a grand time just messing with these pirate ponies as he went to one of the stalls. Justin already knew just what he was going to do.

Some Morning Wood- In a Different Sense

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That Very Next Morning

Derpy and Vinyl both woke up to disappointment as the apartment bed was still missing their third. Ponies always said that three was a crowd, but they couldn't help agree that Justin made their three, in his own words, 'one hell of a crowd.' So as Vinyl promised, the two mares left into the city to go look for their lost human. Just have the hope that he was still within city limits.

A stallion stood in an alleyway, dressed as a typical city goer. He looked head to the harbor, just past the large Manehattennite statue to a wooden ship anchored just off to the massive mare made of metal. Then, as is his job, he continued to look around at the sidewalks for any pony or ponies that seemed to be in a bit of a worry, searching for something that they lost.

Back to the Ship

Celestia's sun was high above the ship. Justin, being the bored man that he was, was counting the clouds as the ship deck was busy yet again. He back in his binds, yet again, without a clue to anypony that he had slipped from them last night. There was washing, mooring, tying, and, of course, curious ponies stopping by to watch the human. They seemed to be fascinated that he, well, was doing nothing unusual and didn't seem to be trying to find a way to escape or bargain with them. He just sat there, smiling, and nodding to any nearby ponies.

"He did what?!" He hear a female voice yell from behind the upper door. Well... here possibly goes my cover.

Scarlet stopped out of her cabin, down the steps and up to her captive. Standing on her hinds legs as she pushed her snout up against his nose and glared into his eyes.

"Can I.. help you?" Justin asked Scarlet, not even a tad bit uncomfortable.

Scarlet stepped down and cleared her throat. "One of me crew says that you were loose last night." She then looked him over to see that he, indeed, still was tied to the mast. "As it appears... this accusation is false."

"Now how would poor wittle me eve be able to get out from such tight ropes?" Justin struggled weakly against the ropes as he played a bit.

"B-but! He attacked me last night just to ask me where the bathroom was!" The stallion blurted out as he stumbled over the two sleeping guards. "Why.. he even knocked out these two!"

"Are you sure it was me? Those two were playing cards when they just fell over and started snoozing. It was preeeeeety dark last night, I should know, I was out here all night." Justin sort of lied with a grin.

Scarlet turned toward the stallion. He seem sleep-deprived and was forming bags under his eyes rather quickly. She just kept eyeing him, staring him down as he started to sweat a bit a shiver.

"Maybe somepony should get some sleep." Justin piped up from behind the stallion, causing the poor guy to shriek like a filly and jump.

"What the..." Scarlet looked at the human, then back to the mast to see... him still there. Then back to where the human was standing to find it vacant. Alright wiseguy.." Scarlet turned and started to jab a hoof into his chest, covered by the ropes. "..just what kinda magic you pullin' here?"

"Magic? Me?" Justin asked sweetly. "Humans can't simply pull, perform, do, execute, or activate magic. It isn't in our DNA."

"what.. then how'd you-"

"It's easy, like one.. two.... thr- HEY LOOK A DISTRACTION!" Everypony on deck fell for Justin's trick.

They all looked back to the mast to find him missing yet again. The ropes on the ground as they started to look around the ship for a bit. Before their attention was caught by random 'Arrs' and 'Yo hos' coming from the helm of the ship. All eyes turned to the source and jaws dropped to the floor. There they saw Justin turning the wheel to and fro like some madpony trying to get a horseless carriage to run.

"~Yo ho! yo ho! A pirate's life fer me!~" He sang out in a swashbuckling tone like no other. "Arrrr! All hooves on deck! Pony the sails! Swab thy poopdeck!"

Scarlet then took notice of what he had on his head then reached a hoof for her mane. She felt no hat. Quickly gritting her, Scarlet started to stomp in an attempt to catch the human's attention, but only causing the ship to start rocking.

"Arr! Tha ship be under attack! Kraken must be a hoof!" Justin called out in response, causing the crew to start running around in a panic and leaving Scarlet unamused. Then the voice of the human rang out again. "Morning Wood!"

The crew just stopped and looked over at the human, who was now on the wheel and leaning off to the side. Somehow in near perfect balance on the wheel without it turning and falling off. Most of the crew went over to the edge of the boat to see just what he was talking about: A lone piece of wood steadily floating by with the word 'Morning!' written on it.

Scarlet just gritted her teeth and stomped her way up to the human. Justin was sent flying off the wheel with a powerful kick, his back slamming against the top deck as ponies slowly started to circle him. Most with wide eyes to see just what he'd do next/ All Justin did was groan out a bit at the pain as he sat up. His vision suddenly being filled with red, white green, and black, as Scarlet just shoved her snout against his nose with one angry stare.

"It's normally hard for any pony to get under my fur. You? You're something else beyond that." Scarlet snarled as she then stepped back, snatching her hat and turning her flank to him as she started to walk away. "Pirates. Throw this thing in the brig."

Orders set, only a few ponies actually were need to carry Justin to the bowels of the ship, the small unicorn prancing along as she just watched them carry the human down and down, eventually just coming to the bottom of the ship. Shackling him up seemed to prove quite useless as the restraints were meant for anything as big as a pony.

The team quickly left Justin down there, but the small one lingered around for a bit longer, just staring him down with curious eyes. The human just smiled away despite his situation, even so as to wave at her. The unicorn gave a small smile and scampered off to the top decks.

Evening at Manehattan Streets

Vinyl and Derpy fell into a small panic. The two of them having split up and combed the city early in the morning only to get done halfway. Their odds seemed dwindle more as they searched today. Nopony knew who Justin was, most hadn't even seen him before he disappeared.

Bad news seemed to just swirl around them about their beloved human. Derpy looked to the window as night was slowly beginning to fall over the harbor. Vinyl's apartment was still a ways away from the water, but they could still see it. The calm waters only making small waves crashing against the island base of an iconic Equestrian landmark.

And the silhouette of a ship in the distance.

Fudge Dipped Deliciousness in a... Bottle?

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Justin had spent all night to his own entertainment, and the pirates great dismay, singing his heart out. Why? Well, because he felt like it, and he wanted to stretch his vocals. He sang many a ballad as well as random things he saw out the port hole. When morning came, a wave of sighs of relief as the crew were about to get some shut-eye for once.

"WAKE UP CALL!" The voice of their captain rang out above deck.

All were groaning except for one who hopped up from a small hammock and placed their hooves down onto the wood floor. A lone small pony walked on over to the door that the human was kept behind and managed to open it to be greeted with a smile. She smiled back at him a waved her hoof.

"Mornings Mr. Humans!" She recited cheerfully.

"Morning kid, how'd ya sleep?" Justin replied with his own smile, some bags under his eyes from staying up.

"Greats! Thanks to yours songs!" She exclaimed with some newfound energy she haven't had for a while.

"Aw shucks kid.. it's not my song, it's someone, or pony, else's song they taught me to sing." Justin replied just a bit bashfully. "Beside, I wanted to see how many ponies I could put to sleep with that. Apparently you. Congrats kid."

The filly smiled at him before looking back as Scarlet called for the crew again, shutting the door behind her as she scampered off so the captain wouldn't be angry at her. Justin couldn't help but d'aw everytime he saw the filly, but she really needed to work on her language a bit more. He pulled on the rather useless shackles since, well, they weren't really restricting him any and were barely attached to the wall as is.

"I forgot to tie my shoelaces.." Justin muttered to himself as he looked to his feet.


Manehattan, A Dock Somewhere

Vinyl had a foreleg wrapped around Derpy as the two sat on the edge of a pier. She figured that the Pegasus would've enjoyed a day near some calming waves. The sun was approaching midday now and Derpy was still down. To be honest, Vinyl was too, but was having a harder time not showing it.

Everything they seemed to do around the apartment carried a bit of lonely feel to it. Publically, it seemed to go unnoticed with a busy day. No pony would've ever known that Vinyl was bothered by something since she hid away up in the DJ booth at night. No pony would've seen Derpy during most of the day since she barely left the room for anything but the occasional muffin or ice cream cone. Yet, if any pony saw the two as they were now, they could see that something was wrong, that something had been eating away at them.

Back on the Pirating Vessel

The sun was highest it was in the sky, The crew was sluggish at best to say since only really two ponies actually got any sleep. Captain Scarlet because, well, she was a heavy sleeper and it wasn't that well-kept of a secret. Then there was the small filly on her way down with a tray. The tray holding a small glass of water, some bread, and little brown blocks that she made herself. Anyway, she slept soundly since she actually enjoyed the lullaby that the human sung out.

She made it to his door and managed to get it open with little problem and slipped inside without any pony else actually noticing. Inside, the human was busy preparing something he dreamt about earlier this morning. The filly set the tray down as she watched on in wonder.

"Dos yous thinks this wills reallys works?" She asked looking at the contraption.

"I sure as hell hope so kid." Justin replied as he was tying bands of rubber that the filly found for him.

"Fudge Dipp" She simply said to him.

"What?" Justin looked at her, a bit confused.

"Mys names is Fudge Dipp... withs twos 'P's ats thes ends." She smiled up at him.

"Strangely... I like your name. I'm Justin. Nice to meet ya.. I think." He chuckled a bit as he went back to fastening the bands to the porthole. "Well, yeah, of course I think this'll work also. This window is giving me a perfect view of the harbor! Did ya bring what I asked?"

Fudge nodded and (somehow) pulled out a bottle, explorer telescope, parchment, and a pen from her bandana. Justin just watched her pull those item from, what he liked to call now, 'Fudge Dipp's Magical Store-Anything Bandana.' It intrigued him how she did it. He wiped the crumbs from his mouth and smiled at her.

"Thanks Fudge" Justin grinned as he ruffled up her somewhat short mane. "You're the best goddamned pony on this boat."

"I has nos ideas whats thats words means, but you'res welcomes." Fudge giggled from getting her mane ruffled.

"Now... to see if this works..." Justin grinned as he took up the glass of water, downed it, then set the item on the pad, and pulled back. He let go to watch the glass go flying towards the city and his grin got wider. "Fudge! Quick! Let's get that letter ready!"


Vinyl sighed in defeat for her attempt to raise the mare's spirit up just even a little, it was no use. She hung her head a bit, staring down at the water. Both ears perked at the sound of glass shattering behind them, Derpy got up and moved to the pieces of broken glass with a bit of concern as to where it came from.

"What is it?" Vinyl asked, not bothering to look.

"It looks like... a cup.." Derpy replied as her hoof gestured to it.

Vinyl was about to move until a bottle then conked her right on her noggin. Bouncing off the unicorn's head and into the pegasus' outstretched hoof as if it was planned on cue. Derpy looked at the bottle with a puzzled look. Vinyl groaned as she rubbed her head and getting up with a slight snarl before looking at the bottle and walking over to it. The bottle was stained a green that was transparent and had a rolled up piece of paper in it.

Carefully, Derpy removed the piece up paper and unfurled it to find this note:

Dearest Derp and Vinyl,

As you two may already be aware, I have disappeared by being nabbed off the streets by a band of pirates and being held on their ship. I you would so kindly look out to the water so I may point out this ship.

Both mares looked to the coast to see a cruise ship on its way out. before looking back to the paper.

No.. not that one. The other one.

Then the two looked over to a skipper. Then back at the page.

Warmer, but no cigar. Look to the statue then off a little, then you'll see it.

The two followed the instructions given to see a larger boat anchored a ways off from the statue. Staring at it before looking back to the note.

There we are! Now, I don't want you two to come after me for I am a very capable human being and planning my escape as we speak with the help of this adorable filly by the name of Fudge Dipp. Yes that's how she spells her name, not a typo. Anyway, you two don't have to worry about your heads too much for I will return to you here shortly. As for now- HOLY SHIT THIS FUDGE IS AMAZING! HOLD ON! I'LL SEND SOME OVER RIGHT AWAY!

The mares looked at eachother in slight confusion until Vinyl got hit with another bottle that she caught this time. Looking over at the boat with a bit of a scowl. Then her eyes went to the bottle and Vinyl forgot why she was a bit irritated.

"Oh hey, Fudge!" Vinyl exclaimed as she looked at the bottle with two small blocks of fudge in it.

Sorry if that hit anyone. Anyway! I should leave the letter here. don't alert the guards or any other pony of my whereabouts, I should be out by tomorrow and safe.

With best intentions,

Your Human, Justin

"He does know that we're supposed to be leaving tomorrow... right?" Derpy looked to Vinyl who just shrugged at her.


Justin grinned as he peered through the telescope at the two mares on the dock. Derpy seemed to be investigating the glass that landed near them which meant he would be right on target. With quick and swift movements, the bottle with his note was ready and launched straight out the porthole and on course to them. Fudge just watched him as he smiled away and craftily handed her the telescope back.

"Sos... nows whats?" Fudge asked as she stuffed the telescope down her bandana.

"Now.. we cause a commotion like no other..." Justin said to her with a wide grin.

The door to the room opened as a stallion walked, he quickly noticed the contraption near the human and quickly got alerted. Fudge dashed out the open door as Justin stood up with a faux smile that looked sick and twisted as his hand were up to his shoulders. The stallion took a step back and the door automatically closed as he started to shiver at the sight of the approaching creature.

"H-hay! What'r you think you're doin?" She stallion tried to command.

"Cool your jets man, Imma help you relax..." Justin replied as het inched closer to the stallion with a smile. His hand reaching for the stallion.

Pirates, Massages, and Parties Definitely Should Not Mix

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Captain scarlet smiled away at the ponies currently working away on the deck, knowing fully that this entire crew was under her hoof. The sound of work is all she wanted to hear, to know that her ship was getting ready for departure. Unfortunately, she hasn't heard from her first sailor yet to giver her a report on the creature they nabbed. That was until a scream of terror ripped through the air from below deck.

She reacted quickly, faster then any of the other crew as she barreled away from her post. Any ponies that got in her way either were smart enough to step away, pushed away, or toppled over as she came through. Yet, when she came to the source, she fell flat on her face as she witnessed what she didn't think would happen.

Not being one the first ponies on the scene, but second to witness the human massaging the shoulders of her first mate. The other pony on scene was the small filly (whose name she never bothered to remember or know) that seemed to hang around the crew a lot as she helped all she could. Scarlet let her jaw hang open and her eyes wide like dinner plates as she just watched.

Fudge was trying to stifle giggles as she just watched the grown stallion sit there with his tongue hanging out Like a dog getting petted. To the pony, however, the human's tiny tendril-like things were magical! Getting into most places on his shoulder that a hoof couldn't normally reach. Much more delicate than any unicorn magic that he knew of. Just as Justin pulled his hands away from the now relaxed stallion who turned to him with a child-like grin.

"Where did you even learn to do that?!"

"Well..." Justin thought for a moment about his answer, "Just a little I knew about before, but there's a spa in the town I live in where I've learned from the owners."

"Wooow... that's amazing!"

"Yeah.. too bad I have to put you to sleep now." Just before the stallion could even get a chance to react, Justin light squeezed a point where his neck met his shoulders and the stallion went limp with light breathing.

To Scarlet, it looked like the human just killed a pony, but instead of charging at him, she was immediately put back by a whip of the chains that were supposed to keep the creature restrained. Justin wrapped the chains loosely around himself and the stallion as he got up and started to point his finger around the room. A mysterious clicking sound made when his thumb shot out from his hand.

"Nopony moves and nopony gets shot!" Justin exclaimed, hoping this little trick would work.

"Hah! You don't have magic!" One pony scoffed before looking at the human. "Do you?"

Justin's finger immediately pointed to the mare. "You wanna find out just how lucky you really are?" He asked with a grin.

The mare started backing away with a small squeak as her ears folded back and pupils shrinking down. Justin strode up to Scarlet with his finger now pointed at her. Scarlet just glared up at his grinning face.

"Think fast!" Justin exclaimed and threw the stallion at her.

Scarlet tumbled backwards with her snoozing first mate. Justin flicked his wrists out and the cuffs snapped open and fell to the floor on top of the chains. With quick feet and quicker fingers, he grabbed Fudge and started dashing through the ship and up. He rolled, jumped, and twirled around ponies. He could've swore there were a lot less pirate ponies last time.

Justin came to a stopping roll, somehow, onto the deck where ponies quickly surrounded both Fudge and himself. Fudge was gently set down by Justin and she cowered behind his legs as he just looked around with a smile. He could probably guess what his fate would be now.

"Dids yous evens haves a plans?" Fudge asked as she started to shiver a bit.

"I had a plan?" Justin asked in return, causing the filly to collapse against him.

Scarlet emerged from the large mass of ponies with a smirk and her eyes looking pissed. She simply chuckled as knew all too well that the human had nowhere else o escape to and was anticipating any tricks he had. Justin just grinned right back at the pony captain and started rolling up the sleeves to his shirt.

"What are you doing now?" Scarlet asked with a slight roll of her eyes. "There's nothing you can do now to surprise me."

"Oh, I believe I can since I still have a few things up these short-" Justin was interrupted by Scarlet kicking her back hooves into is chest.

The human tripped over the filly cowering behind him and stumbled over the railing. Fudge quickly looked over the edge to catch the last glimpse of his smiling face before plummeting into the watery depths. Fudge climbed down from the railing as she couldn't believe that even in the face of danger, that human just smiled away like he was..

Fudge started to look around he deck, sure that he wouldn't just accept defeat like that.

"Now that taken care of... "Scarlet muttered before turning to the crew. "Alright! Everypony back to their tasks!"

Fudge continued to look around until red blocked her vision. She swallowed a bit and looked up to see the captain sneering down at the filly. Quickly lifting her up by the not on the bandanna, Scarlet started to trot towards the step that led deeper into the ship. A bit of a sinister smile forming on the mare's face.

"Now hold it right there partner." A gruff voice called out.

Scarlet jumped back as she now looked at what was blocking her way. There stood a bipedal creature in a familiar pair of drenched jeans with a shirt, but covered by a duster and most of his face by and even darker stetson. Justin looked up at the mare with a small smirk as a toothpick hung from clenched teeth.

"Now Imma kindly ask you to put that there filly down, Ma'am." Justin put a western accent to his tone as his hands went to his hips.

"How did you..?" Scarlet was at a loss for words, the human just inexplicably standing in front of her.

"Ma'am. I'm asking you one more time..." Justin upholstered a strange device from within the duster and pointed it at Scarlet. "Put. The. Filly. Down."

Scarlet just stared at him, a glare that was both spiteful and surprised, never letting go of poor Fudge. Instead, she decided to fling the filly and charge the human. Justin's eyes widened and caught the filly with one arm, doing a twirl and swiftly shooting the device at Scarlet's forehooves. A strange green goop stuck to the deck of the ship and to the red mare's coat. The captain was stopped immediately and tripped, her muzzle smashing against the deck.

Justin blew on the barrel of the device that wasn't expelling any smoke. "Bad move. Creep."

"Whats ins Equestrias is thats things?" Fudge asked, pointing to the device in Justin's hand.

"I have no idea honestly, Dipp, I just found it in the cargo and stuck some poor stallion to a wall with it... might've been the poor fool I scared that one night." Justin replied as he gently set the filly down. "I know it hasn't been that long since I went overboard, but I have to ask. You alright? Not hurt or anything?"

Fudge just looked at him with a smile a shook her head. Justin smiled back at her and stood up straight. A loud whistle rang out across the deck, most of the ponies cringed at the high pitch but looked to the strange sight. Most of them already witnessed what unfolded right before them.

"Everypony listen up!" Justin commanded as he rose up to the half deck with a grin. "Tonight, everything will change for the lot of ya! For tonight, starting..." HE paused and looked to the setting sun. Boy, the day does go by quick. "We shall turn this PIRATE ship into a PARTY ship!"


Vinyl and Derpy were both busy back at the apartment, packing what things they could for the trip back to Ponyville. They were still a bit worried about their human making it back in time to catch the train. For now, they had to trust his judgement.

A flash of light from outside caught their attention. Both mares headed to the window to check out what was going on to find the ship Justin was on producing confetti and massive strobe lights. Vinyl gave a smirk and started to chuckle until it grew into a wild laugh. Derpy just looked to the unicorn a bit confused.

"What?" The grey pegasus mare asked.

"Oh.. I was just thinking how Pinkie might react to him throwing a party without her." Vinyl managed to calm her laughter long enough for a response.


Pinkie flew away from the counter with a loud gasp, her other four friends looking to her in surprised confusion as she landed like a feather. Pinkie looked a bit off now after her mane spike out before going back to its original fluffiness. To each a brow raised as they just stared at the pink party pony.

"What is it surgarcube?" Applejack asked as Pinkie approached the table with a cake on a platter.

"Somepony's throwing a super-amazing party!" Pinkie exclaimed with a bit of excitement. "And it's without me!"

To (Literally) Catch a Train

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Justin managed to climb out from a pile of wrappers with a hearty yawn, smacking his lips as he looked about to the partied out ponies around him and a snoozing Fudge at his feet. He was distracted by the filly for only a moment when he just now realized that his shoes were gone.

He got up stretching and letting loose another yawn. He looked around for a bit for his glasses and nabbed off one of the snoozing pirates. Justin chuckled for a bit before he finally started to wander the ship's deck for his shoes.

"One helluva party we had last night." Justin said to himself with a smile as he dug through some of the trash.

"Gee, it's not like I couldn't hear it or anything."

Justin looked at the still faceplanted Scarlet. Deciding to walk over and pull her tail a bit, the red-coated mare was back to a standing position that. She let out a groan of relief that was short lived as the human plopped down in front of her with a wide grin.

Justin had found his shoes on Scarlet's back and just started to lace them up right then and there. He extended each leg out from under him to put the according shoe on and fold them back under him. Then just looked at Scarlet with a smile before booping her nose with his finger.


"Don't touch me!" Scarlet commanded as she tried to reel her head back.

"Ahem..." A voice called from off to the side, causing the two to look at a light brown stallion with the brightest of blues for eyes and a vest as he climbed aboard. Being shortly followed be a small grouping of guards.

"Detective, it's so nice to see you!" Justin rose to his feet and walking over to the stallion and shaking his hoof.

"Uhm... sir?" The detective pony just looked at the human strangely.

"Hmmm?" Justin hummed a bit as he looked back to the detective.

The guards had just started arresting the other pirate crew that were known criminals and left some others alone. Justin had been watching them as one of the guards carried over a still sleeping Fudge and two others from where Scarlet's located.

"Sir, what do you want us to do about this filly?" The guard asked.

"I'll take her." Justin quickly said as he took the small filly and cradle her in his arms.

The other two were next to report. "We can't seem to get this mare free. She seems to be held in place by some sort of green gunk."

"Green?" The detective asked before looking over at the human who seemed to already be digging into one of his back pockets.

"I stuck her to her own ship with this." Justin smiled as he handed over the device that he had used.

The detective just looked at him in amazement. "A changeling goo shooter? Where did you even get this?"

"I found it in the cargo when I crawled back on." Justin sort of explained.

The detective just looked at him.

That stallion fell on his flank with his mouth wide open as the human had just regaled him with a tale of complete absurdity that all witnesses attested for. It was pretty hard to believe it all started just by him needing to use the bathroom. Justin was busy playing with the filly as he told the story, getting to last night's huge pirate party that caused the crew (even the ones in custody) to nod in agreement.

"...And so now the ship is docked and you ponies showed up." Justin finished off with a smile as he caught Fudge by her tail as if he were a cat.

"So, then, that filly isn't really yours?" The detective pony asked him as a hoof pointed at the small brown filly.

"Not really. But I'm treating her as if she's my own and nopony's gonna stop me." Justin let get of the filly's tail and she went scampering off behind him. "Say.. you got the time there detective?"

"Oh, uh yeah.. its.." The pony took out a pocket watch and flipped it open. "It's close to being 10 in the morning. Why?"

"Shit!" Justin quickly scrambled to his feet and grabbed Fudge, hooking her to his back like she were his own filly pack. "I'm really sorry Detective, I have a train to catch!"

Justin was about to leave, but the stallion stepped in his way. "You can't just leave the scene! You're a victim to a crime!"

"Yeah... I am." Justin said with a determined look as he merely just sidestepped passed the stallion and bolted down the dock. "I said I was sorry detective, but you're not stopping me now!"

Justin's shoes caught to the concrete rather quickly. He dashed through crowds and through traffic. Ponies that were passed by just looking in astonishment at the sight of the human whizzing past them at a great speed. Justin mainly had to thank for that fact he had longer legs, still wasn't as fast as an earth pony galloping at full speed.

Fudge eventually had the human securely hug her against his chest since she was beginning to get a bit uncomfortable just bouncing against his back. Doing what she could to see just exactly where they were heading. The human came to a skidding halt inside a station, his shoes squeaking against the linoleum.

Justin panted as he was trying to catch his breath at the ticket booth. the mare at the window just looking at him unamused. "Did two.." He wheezed. "..mares come through here, One grey and one a pale yellow/almost whiteish?"

"Sir, a lot of ponies come through here. Especially at this hour." The mare droned on.

Justin groaned and threw his free arm up as he walked away. "Well son of a biscuitmunchingpoptartkittycat!"

Fudge sat on the ground in silence as she watched the human pace back and forth behind the building. He was just muttering to himself to what she assumed was cursing himself for the entire situation he was drug in to. She watched Justin stop and plop onto his bottom with his face in his hands.

"Whats ares wes goings tos dos nows?" Fudge asked as she got up and trotted over to him.

"I dunno Dipp. I dunno." Justin replied as he took the filly into his arms and looked around.

His eyes feel to a bunch of scraps and an idea wormed its way into his mind. The pile was a bunch of old parts to a steam engine. A smile spread across his face as he steadily got up. Fudge just looked up at him followed his gaze to the same pile of metal and parts. Justin set the filly down on the ground and walked over to the scraps, beginning to dig.

"Fudge... I has an idea." Justin declared as he pulled pieces out.

"Ohs boys." Fudge could only watch him as he dug into the pieces.


A cart was soon barreling down the rails by a sloppily assemble steam engine pushing it. In it were two figures; Justin and between his legs hanging on for dear life was poor little Fudge Dipp. Justin was laughing his head off as his hair wan whipping back behind his head and a pair of goggle to cover his eyes.

"This is insanes!" Fudge yelled out above the roar and laughing of the man she sat with.

"No Dipp! Insanity is Discord standing for order! This right here is pure genius!" Justin through his arms up in the air and let out a howl.

Justin wasn't really expert in steam engines nor did he know a whole lot about them, but he surprised even himself when he started slapping pieces together to make the functional monstrosity that was now propelling them down the tracks at high speeds. They were obviously making quick ground too since the caboose of the train heading to Ponyville was coming up.

Then the sound of something breaking behind them halted all his excitement. Justin looked behind to examine the engine and quickly found the problem: a busted steam pump. Fudge was now clinging to his leg, Justin looked to her and suddenly had the most sane idea of his life. He stood up and grabbed Fudge and placing her against his side.

"Fudge! Change of plans!" Justin declared as they were getting only slightly closer to the caboose, but within throwing distance. "I'm gonna throw up on to the train!"

"Whats!?" Fudge looked up at him in disbelief. "Buts.. buts whats about yous!?"

"When you get on, look for two mares. One of them's an off-white unicorn with a electric blue spikey mane, the other is a grey pegasus with a yellow mane and wall eyes!"

He looked down to her and Fudge closed her mouth to silence her rebuttal, then nodded. Justin nodded back and got ready. Fudge wasn't too sure about this, it seemed like a stretch but she trusted the human. Justin swung his arm back and quickly out with force, effectively tossing the filly across the gap.

"This is too much action to just be the way this is..." Justin muttered to himself.


Vinyl and Derpy sat across from one another silently in the dining car. Quietly eating what breakfast they could as their minds were set on the human that they had to leave behind. The chatter of the other passengers filled the others tables as ponies ate, but not theirs. A commotion from the other end of the car caught their attention though as a small brown unicorn filly dashed under and older pony and skidded inside. Frantically looking around until her eyes came to the two mares and she scurried over.

The filly took a deep breath but was quickly cut off by an explosion occurring behind the train. The car went silent as all eyes were now to the back of the train. Short lived by a loud sound towards the roof and almost everypony gasping to see a creature hanging off the side of the car. Vinyl and Derpy looked with grins.

Justin just sheepishly waved as he grinned. Happy to have finally caught up to the mare he arrived with. Shortly after, he started to swing down the car in a careful manner. The three ponies following him as they all quickly made it to the side door and opened it. Justin swung in and hugged all three of them.

"Damn does it feel good to be back." Justin said with a smile.

"I'm terribly sorry to interrupt, but do you have a ticket sir?" A conductor pony asked from behind the group.

BONUS: Tingly Feelsies

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The four figures filed in through the door, each with a nice little smile on their face and bags following them. Justin immediately went to the living room as Derpy and Vinyl headed up the stairs. Fudge followed the human into the other room to catch him flopping onto a couch and rolling on it like a dog.

"Oh it's soooo GOOD to be home!" He declared at the top of his lungs before relaxing into the cushions. "Oh how I missed you couch."

Fudge couldn't help but snicker before going on to explore the house.

Later that night, all four of the groups were sitting around a table. Each had a plate with an abundance of noodles out in front of them. Justin looked around to the other mares with a small grin. Derpy and Vinyl just looked to their plates in confusion while Fudge looked to her with some serious hungry eyes.

"Something wrong you two?" Justin asked as he looked to the mares.

"Okay.. just what the hay is this?" Vinyl asked bluntly as her hoof pointed to the plate.

"It's spaghettis!" Fudge exclaimed in a excited tone and nearly hopping out of her seat. "A dish froms Itailys!"

Justin smiled at Fudge's excitement and took a fork into his hands. Derpy actually took a noodle into her mouth a slurped it up with it slapping some sauce on her face. Vinyl was still hesitant at the strange looking dish and Fudge just dug right in. The human, however, was looking over at Vinyl.

"Sandwich instead?" Justin asked.

"What?" Vinyl snapped out of a daze to look at him.

"Would you like a sandwich instead?" Justin asked again.

Vinyl took a moment to register the question before silently nodding. Justin rose from his seat along side Vinyl, taking her plate and waling with her to the kitchen. He was looking around in the cabinets as he gathered what he needed for a sandwich for a pony while putting the leftovers in a bowl and covering it with a plate before sliding it in the fridge.

"Justin?" Vinyl called out as she watched him start on a sandwich.

"Something the matter Vin?" Justin turned his head to look at her with a small grin.

She just silently nodded a bit and was put a bit at ease by her love's smile. "Yeah... but do you ever get a feeling? Like a tingly feeling?"

"I get the tingly feelsies when I drink hot sauce." Justin chuckled as he finished up and walked over to her.

"No, like something just doesn't feel right, y'know?" Vinyl asked as he knelt down in front of her.

"I did when I woke up in the library and every single time i've passed it on my way to the shoppe." Justin went on, offering Vinyl the sandwich of lettuce, tomatoes, and daisies. "It may just be nothing for you."

Vinyl silently nodded and tightly hugged the human. Justin smiled and hugged back as the mare started to nuzzle against his cheek. He chuckled a bit and planted a small kiss on her cheek. Vinyl stepped down and took a small bite before remembering what someone said just earlier and started to chuckle a bit.

"You drink hot sauce?"