Hours passed lazily as Rainbow Dash hung suspended in the air atop cottony puffs of vapor. Having no watch of any kind, nor any desire to get up and swoop over the town center to glance at the big clock face that towered over the commons. As such, the only resemblance of time passing that the pegasus had was the wispy, ever changing vapors that floated through the sky. And not a single one of them cared to stop what they were doing long enough to offer her a numerical time to go on, passing over her without thought.
Rainbow Dash itched again, and shifted uncomfortably on her cloud. It was not a physical itch, and thus could not be redeemed, and was insatiable when it did come around. It was the itch not just to fly but to race, and a race meant she had to find at least one other pony, or winged species, to race with.
Unicorns and groundies were immediately out, as the former could teleport and the latter could run, but she quickly left all of them in the dust. That left the pegasus race, the most compatible candidates, and 99% of them had long since learned that engaging in a race with Rainbow Dash was really not all that entertaining. The only pegasus who took up her challenges on a regular basis, with unblemished enthusiasm at that, was the local mailmare. A beloved member of the community, the only issue with the mailmare was that shortly into their race, she often forgot where she was going, or went off in a different direction entirely, distracted by some small oddity.
Rainbow huffed. Her nap wasn't happening any longer, her mind no longer relaxed but agitated. She rolled off the cloud and tucked her legs in against her body, picking up speed. The ground approached her body rapidly, allowing her just enough time to spread open her magnificent wings and catch the air, leveling out a few feet above the grass and swooping upwards once more, a delighted 'Whoop!' escaping her lips. A think trail of colored light spread out behind her rear legs, though not as clear as a Rainboom would have been.
Several others looked up at this display and waved to her, as though this was a common sight.
Rainbow Dash rocketed towards a small house near the edge of the expansive forested section of Ponyville, a massive display of branches and darkness that took over the land The timid creature who lived in the cottage seemed unaware and unconcerned that just menacing darkness loomed so close at hoof, but gave it no attention. Rainbow Dash did several spins and loops to the benefit of anypony still watching, and landed at the front door. She had barely even raised her hoof to knock on it when the door swung open.
"Hi, Dashie!" Fluttershy exclaimed, delighted. "Angel and I were just saying you don't come visit enough. Was your mane standing up?"
"What?" Rainbow blinked.
"Pony legend says your mane stands up when somepony's talking about you. Only good things, though. I'd hate it if it was bad things, then I'd always be wondering who was talking about me, and if it was a good or bad thing, and if it was a bad thing why wouldn't they come talk to me so I can say I'm sorry?"
"Fluttershy, it's just a legend, I don't think that-"
But Fluttershy was already starting to look upset, her ears pinning. "Because I really would be sorry, too."
"No, Shy, I'm here for-" She began again.
"For tea?" Fluttershy brightened. "It's almost teatime, and we'd love you to join us."
Rainbow Dash sighed. "Sure, why not."
Fluttershy grinned so widely that she squee'd as she did, and tugged Rainbow inside.
Inside the cottage was homely and warm, and a large round table was already set with a pink and yellow tea set upon it. A few of the cups were cracked and the pot itself was faded and had certainly seen better days. Angel was sitting on the on one of the chairs, tapping his foot impatiently. On the next chair was Discord, who looked as if he'd rather be anywhere else but here. He wore a frilly pink dress and matching bonnet, his eyes narrowed to dangerous slits as if a land mine that had been forgotten but could go off at any moment.
"I hate tea time," he muttered.
Fluttershy glared at him. "Tea is a formal setting, mister. It's either this or the maid outfit again."
Discord rolled his eyes. "Fine," he complained. The kettle in the kitchen went off, and Fluttershy squeaked before rushing to get it. Discord immediately snapped his claws and the dress vanished as he cracked his back. "What brings you here, Dash?" He asked, curiously.
"To see you, actually," the pegasus admitted.
The draconequus looked interested. "Is that right?" He said. "Whatever for?"
"I want a race," Rainbow said. Discord looked absolutely delighted, and she quickly cut in, "Not with you, you cheat," she said. His smile faded, and he grumbled. "Do you have anything to show me someone I can race with?" She asked.
Discord rubbed his beard for a moment, thoughtfully. "I might," he said, and twisted his claws around in the air. Fiery flashes of blue light crackled between his claws, and he produced a mirror which was quickly handed over to the waiting pegasus. "Here," he said, satisfied.
Rainbow Dash looked confused. She glanced into the mirror, saw herself, and frowned. "It's a mirror," she said.
"Well what did you think it was, a radiator?" Discord asked. "Simply ask it what you want to see, and it will show you."
Rainbow shrugged. In a world full of magic, this was simple enough advice. Not the ramblings of a crazy person as might be expected in some of the other realms. She glanced into the mirror, still feeling slightly like an idiot as she talked into it. "Mirror, am I the fastest pony in Ponyville?" She asked.
The mirror immediately fogged over, as if left in a steaming sauna, and words inscribed themselves on its surface.
It Seems Likely.
"Hah!" Rainbow hollered, then turned back towards the kitchen. "Fluttershy, you alright in there?"
"It's really hot and I don't have magic!" Fluttershy said weakly. "I'm sorry, I'll be out in a minute!As soon as I can get it down..." She squeaked.
Rainbow Dash turned her attention back towards the mirror, having presumably bought another few minutes. "Mirror, am I the fastest creature in the universe?"
Try Asking Again.
Dash stomped her front hoof irritably. "Am I the fastest creature in the universe?"
No.
Annoyed now, Dash glared at the mirror while Discord looked on with absolute amusement. "Show me the fastest creature in the universe!" She demanded.
And the mirror did.
The fog in the glass cleared, and Rainbow was treated to a dusty, desert like expanse, and a bright blue blur was racing down a seemingly deserted road. The sun was bright and hot, and the pegasus could almost feel herself sweating from its heat.
"Closer," she demanded, and the view swept downwards towards the blurry figure. She couldn't tell what it was, it was moving much too quickly, an observation that made her more than a little nervous.
Then it stopped. In the middle of the road... and Rainbow Dash stared at it.
Bright orange legs rose confidently from the pavement, leading into obnoxiously blue feathers. Its body was slim and streamlined, pecking at the ground with a bright yellow beak.
"A bird?!" Rainbow hissed. "I'm being outraced by a bird?!"
The bird looked right at her through the mirror, as if it knew it was being watched, and stuck its tongue out at her. "Meep, meep!" It challenged, then zoomed off again. The mirror fogged over, and Rainbow Dash lost sight of it.
Rainbow Dash was bright red, and Discord roared with laughter. Fluttershy emerged from the kitchen with a cart on which sat a large pan of cookies and the steaming kettle.
"What's so funny?" She asked. Then her ears pinned. "It's not me, is it?"
"Oh, no," Discord said. "I was only doing tricks for Rainbow Dash. Would you like to see some?"
"Yes!" Fluttershy brightened, rolled the cart next to the table, and gasped. "I forgot the cheese!" She said, and hurried back into the kitchen.
Discord looked over. "Well?" He asked. "What are you going to do?"
"What I do best," she said, and narrowed her eyes. "I'm going to catch it. And then we're going to race."
"...You're going to catch it. The fastest creature in the universe," Discord repeated dryly, his voice burdened with an everlasting tone of amusement. "You don't know what this thing is, you don't know where it comes from or what it can do. But never mind all that, the Great and Powerful Rainbow Dash is going to catch it."
Rainbow huffed. She was once more (as she often was) glad that Trixie had not made an appearance in some time, as the unicorn would very likely not appreciate Rainbow Dash stealing her title, however unwillingly. She glanced into the mirror again, but saw only her own reflection. Whatever magic had persuaded the mirror to show her the bird a few moments before had run its course and faded into obscurity.
"Yes," she said defiantly. "I am."
"And how are you going to do that?" Discord asked.
"Easy," Rainbow said. "With science."
Fluttershy was just now returning with the rest of the snacks and utensils, bringing their hushed conversation to a premature halt.
"I'm so glad you're here, Dashie," she said. "It's wonderful having friends over."
A mile or so away from where the three comrades were having their tea session, at the exact same moment, Pinkie Pie was bolting back and forth across the homely interior of a small house belonging to a very nice couple of earth ponies. Their son had only recently gained his cutie mark, and a celebratory surprise party was in the final stages of production. Brightly colored streamers swung from the rafters, balloons of every color on long strings tied to almost everything.
An hour or so after she had begun, Pinkie skidded to a halt in front of the happy couple, her eyes bright and shining. "Oh, I can't wait to see the look on Wave Runner's face when he sees all this! He's gonna be so super duper excited, where did you say he was again? How much time do we have? I hope he likes chocolate cake... I FORGOT THE CAKE!" She shrieked suddenly, at a decibel level slightly above that of a rocket engine and her words pouring out just a tad slower than Mach 2.
The stallion pushed his hair back into place, it having been pushed awry by the sudden blast of air that came from the small pink horse. "We told you twice already, we got the cake while you were decorating," he said patiently. "Wave is off with his friends, and will be home in a few hours."
"Great!" Pinkie exclaimed, and planted her rump in the middle of the floor. "Everything here is all done, and the party cannon is primed and ready for launch for added special effect!"
The couple exchanged a glance. "Party... cannon?" The mare echoed nervously.
"Don't worry, it's safe. Patent pending," Pinkie said. She would have gone on longer had it not been for an easily recognizable whirring sound that came from outside one of the open windows. She whirled around to see Tank hovering outside the window and immediately rushed to him, grinning from ear to ear.
Behind her, the stallion looked nervously at his wife. "Next time we call a professional," he deadpanned, quite unsure as to what kind of wild force they had let into their house, but the decorations were top notch, he had to give her that.
Pinkie had taken a small card from the tortoise, and smiled apologetically. "The good news is, the decorations are done and everything is in order," she said. "The not so good news is that I really have to run, one of my friends needs me!"
The couple looked relieved. "That's alright, Pinkie, you've done more than enough. I think we can take it from here. Wave will be beside himself."
Pinkie looked concerned. "How is he going to be beside himself? Did he find the Mirror Pool?"
"The what?"
"Can't tell you, it's a secret!" She said. "Bye!" And bounced out the front door like a giant rubber ball, leaving the perplexed couple behind. Tank's note had been urgent, instructing her to meet Rainbow Dash at the old rainbow factory. Wasting no time with a friend waiting on her, Pinkie arrived at the factory in record time, turning a corner and right into someone turning the corner from the other side. Her eyes widened in surprise, then in delight.
"It's you!" She exclaimed.
One Hour Earlier...
Twilight Sparkle gently closed the book she was reading, wiping her eyes with a hoof. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but I don't think I can read anymore," she admitted.
Spike, who'd been sitting next to her, gasped as if she'd just used a nasty expletive in front of a room of foals. "Twilight!" He exclaimed. "Are you feeling alright?"
Twilight laughed. "Of course, Spike. But I like reading for fun, and a lot of the things I have to read now that I'm a Princess are decidedly NOT fun. Tax reports, land ownership documents, political revenue statements, budgets, tax laws..." She sighed. "I'd much rather be studying. Studying IS fun."
"If you say so," Spike said, yawning despite himself just from the explanation. "Why don't we get out and do something? We haven't done anything since..." he trailed off, counting on his claws, his brow furrowed in concentration.
"Since May Tenth," Twilight finished. "It's been almost five months since anything happened. Which is very strange, since usually something happens every week like clockwork."
"Yeah, but we were overdue for a break," Spike said, then jumped up on the chair.
"Come on, lets get outta here, pleeeeeease?" He begged, his eyes wide.
Twilight laughed again. "Alright, Spike," she said. "Let's go."
"Alright!" Spike exclaimed, mounting onto her back, and digging his heels into her sides. "Hi ho, Twilight! Away!"
Twilight didn't move an inch, just craned her neck around and glared at him. Spike grinned sheepishly. "Heh." He said, rubbing his neck. "Sorry."
Leaving the small library, which Twilight didn't much care for at all (lack of proper organization, she often complained), Twilight was only just beginning to head for the castle when a tortoise zoomed around the corner. He had two cards attached to his shell, one depicting a purple firework and the other a bright pink balloon. Twilight stopped, frowned, and took the firework card, and Tank zoomed off down a sidestreet.
Twilight opened the card, her eyes lighting up as she read its contents.
I need help studying, will you teach me? Meet me at the back of the abandoned rainbow factory. R.D.
Twilight lit up at once. "Yay! A tutoring job!"
Spike was less thrilled. "Could she have possibly picked a more terrifying place to study, though? Especially after what hap-"
"Spike!" Twilight cut him off. "You know as well as I do that it's just an old pony's tale. Ponyville simply didn't have a big enough pegasus population to sustain a rainbow factory here, and they went bankrupt."
"But-"
"They went bankrupt, Spike. That's the end of it. It's not haunted, just deserted. And I don't want to hear another word about it."
"Alright..."
Stopping at the castle to pick up blank notebooks, ink, quills, and study materials on every subject she could fit into her saddlebags, Twilight set out for the old factory. It was completely deserted, a tall fence surrounded the place with boarded up windows. Twilight frowned, going around the side, and slamming headfirst into a bright pink pony.
"It's you!" The pink pony exclaimed, surprised.
"Pinkie?" Twilight asked. "What are you doing here?" This was certainly not one of the places that she'd ever expected to see the party horse.
"I got a card from Rainbow Dash, she wants to plan a party here! Pretty sneaky too, nobody ever comes here. IT'S THE PERFECT PLAN!" She shrieked, streamers bursting out of her mane.
Twilight blinked. "I got a card too, but she wanted to-"
"Look!" Pinkie exclaimed suddenly, pointing with her hoof. Twilight looked.
A dark figure standing in the shadows looked first right, then left, then stepped out. It was very clearly Rainbow Dash, but wearing an oversized trenchcoat and dark sunglasses.
"Hi Dashie!" Pinkie waved.
"I am not Dashie, I am Marepheus," she said. "You both have been chosen for a very special mission, come on, quickly!" She disappeared around the back corner of the building, into an alley.
Twilight and Pinkie exchanged a glance, then followed. Once safely behind the building, and the three of them were gathered, Rainbow Dash cast off the disguise. "Sorry, I had to ditch Fluttershy," she explained. "This mission only requires the best of the best, and I love her but she just doesn't have what it takes."
Twilight stamped her front hoof. "Rainbow, what is going ON?" She asked, annoyed. "Are we studying or not? I brought flash cards!"
"Sorry, Twi. No studying today," she said, and Twilight looked crestfallen. Rainbow Dash hugged them both closer to her, and dropped her voice to a low whisper.
"You're going to catch it?" Twilight asked, dumbfounded. Rainbow Dash had only just completed her short retelling of the events leading her up to this moment, and Pinkie was merely nodding in appreciative silence. She pulled a pipe out of her mane and dragged on it, allowing several large bubbles to float up towards the sky.
"That's right," Rainbow Dash said. "I'm going to catch it. I'm going to find it, and I'm going to race it."
"So that's what this is about," Twilight sighed. "I should have known. You just can't handle this bird being faster than you, can you? That's just too much for you to accept. Do you even know anything about this bird?" She asked. "Have you studied it at all? Does it eat seed, nuts, meat?" She asked.
Rainbow sputtered with protests. These slowpokes just didn't understand the dangerous situation being inflicted upon her pride at the fact, the very IDEA, that some creature was faster than her. That just wasn't cool! "I know it's from another universe," she said, and quickly changed the subject. "Which is where you come into play, Twilight."
Twilight didn't understand this, but wasn't sure she liked the sound of it. Presumably Rainbow Dash needed both her and Pinkie for a reason, and the pegasus had a habit of acting first and thinking later. "Have you talked to Fluttershy?" Twilight asked. "If you're after a bird, why not talk to somepony who knows about birds?"
"She's busy," Rainbow said. Twilight glared at her accusingly. "Okay, so she's not busy! But I didn't want her for this mission, alright? She'd just slow me down!" I need ponies who can think fast and run faster, and Fluttershy's a great friend, but she's only got 2.5 wing power!"
"Actually she's got 2.3," Spike said from upon Twilight's back, and Twilight hit him on the head with her tail.
"Shush," she said. "Go on, Rainbow Dash. Let's hear it."
"Okay, well, it's just a bird that can run really fast, so I think it would be a harmless venture to bring it here to Equestria."
"You don't know its harmless," Twilight said. "It could have any number of devastating consequences on the local ecosystem, and unleashing it might further damage-"
"Come ON, egghead," Rainbow begged. "Don't you want a chance to be the very first pony to study a brand new species? Think of the scientific possibilities! And Pinkie would have a new friend to throw parties for, I guess?"
"Naaaaaaaaaailed it!" Pinkie shrieked. "I'm in!"
Twilight sighed again, rapidly realizing that she was becoming outnumbered. "Well, I guess it might be alright," she said hesitantly. "It's just a bird, after all... but even if it turned out to be completely safe, we have no way of getting it here!"
:"Sure we do," Rainbow said. "Remember Stitch?"
Pinkie brightened. "You mean that little blue alien that accidentally got sent to Equestria and started destroying everything and then we had to send him back only to need him a second time and then send him back again and then we were forced to bring him to Equestria a THIRD time but nopony ever found out what happened because Lunabrony got bored and copped out of writing the last part of the trilogy like a chicken?" She asked, bouncing.
Rainbow Dash stared at her. ",.."
Twilight stared at her. "..."
Spike stared at her. "..."
Rainbow was the first to speak finally, breaking the awkward silence. "...Yeah, that Stitch," she said. "Anyway, the last time we brought him to Equestria through an interdimensional portal that Princess Celestia set up," she said.
"Yes," Twilight said, not liking this one bit. "But that portal is closed, and good riddance too."
"Not entirely closed," Rainbow said. "Celestia said it was sealed off, but I bet a princess could open it up again," she grinned.
Pinkie let out a long, excited gasp, and started bouncing even faster. "Oh! Oh! Oh! Twilight's a princess!" She exclaimed. "I bet Twilight could open it!"
Rainbow facehoofed. "Thank you for joining us, Pinkie Pie."
"But I was here the whole time, silly!" Came the reply.
"Never mind," Rainbow said. "Are you gonna help me try to open it or not?"
Twilight thought about this for a moment. "It could be an interesting experience," she said quietly. "Alright, I'll help."
"Woohoo!" Pinkie shrieked.
"Great!" Rainbow grinned. "Let's go."
Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Spike and Rainbow Dash were huddled around the inactive tear in spacetime deep in the Everfree Forest. It hadn't been used since Stitch's arrival some months previously, and Twilight had secretly hoped that the memory of its existence would fade with time.
"Alright, last time all we had to do was focus on Stitch and say his name, so we'll do that here. Focus on the bird I described, and say its name. That should be enough to summon it here."
"What IS its name?" Twilight asked curiously.
"Uhhhh..." Rainbow faltered.
Twilight stomped her hoof. "This is why you're supposed to study before exams, Rainbow Dash! And its exam time!"
"Don't worry, Twi, I'll get around it," Rainbow said with a cocky edge to her voice. "Just open it. I'll do the rest."
Twilight glared at her. "If this goes wrong, I'm blaming the entire thing on you," she said. "Every instinct in my body is telling me this a bad idea."
"For the record, I think it's a bad idea too," Spike said, twiddling his thumbs.
Twilight turned her attention on the rift, and bright, clear light shot from her horn. The rift shuddered, pulsated, and blazed into activity. Rainbow Dash focused on it, making a mental picture of the giant blue bird in her head.
"I summon you, giant blue bird thing!" She announced. It was Spike's turn to facepalm this time.
Surprising fortune was with them, however, as the rift shuddered and the blue blur raced out of it, propelled by bright orange legs. It stopped a few feet away from them in mid stride, several inches off the ground, completely frozen. A cursive sort of font appeared in the air below its legs, an effect that made Twilight gasp with amazement.
Outrunicus Dashicus
Rainbow looked absolutely infuriated. "What's that supposed to mean?! How's it even DOING that?"
"Like this!" Pinkie exclaimed, and leaped into the air, similarly freezing mid bounce. Words appeared beneath her as well.
Partycus Ponicus
Her frozen effect lasted only a moment, then the words disappeared and Pinkie clopped back to the ground with a bright, innocent smile. The bird looked at the small group, and winked at them. "Meep, meep!" It announced, and zoomed off towards Ponyville. Rainbow Dash took off after it, yelling in frustration. Twilight looked in astonishment at the pink pony.
"How did you... never mind. I'll run tests later." Pinkie found this amusing, and gigglesnorted merrily.
"Come back here!" Rainbow Dash yelled, almost out of sight.
Pinkie and Twilight exchanged a glance, then took after Rainbow Dash. After a moment or two of silence in the dark forest, Twilight returned and skidded to a halt, firing up her horn and sending another bolt through the active rift. The tear in space powered down, quieted, and fell still again. "That was close," Twilight said, and raced back in the direction the others had gone in the first place.
"Wait for me!" She shouted, and teleported forward, disappearing in a flash of purple light.
Twilight looked at her as if she'd asked if she was a unicorn. "Of course I'm sure, I did the math, and my math is never wrong. She turned and looked once more at Rainbow Dash, as disapprovingly as ever. "You really want to go through with this? I'm sure there's a million easier ways to-"
"Less talk, more pull!" Rainbow Dash said, sliding her goggles down over her eyes. "There may be better ways, but this is the coolest. And -I- am all about cool."
"Alright," Twilight said. "Pinkie... you know what to do."
Pinkie knew. And she did just that.
---
Across the way, Fluttershy and Discord had been having a rather nice time to themselves, at least ever since Rainbow Dash had left. Fluttershy had been understandably concerned when Dash, well, dashed off so quickly, explaining only that it was an emergency and would make it up to her. Fluttershy had nodded kindly and watched the pegasus leave, knowing that indeed emergencies did happen and they were more important.
"I do hope she's alright," Flutters said quietly, to nopony in particularly.
Discord, who could not care less about what Rainbow Dash was up to, merely shrugged. "I'm sure she is," he said. "Not much that can stop that one." He curled his arm around Fluttershy, who looked up at him meekly. "Come now," he said. "Cease your worrying and let's do something fun instead."
Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Like... what?" She asked whereupon Discord unveiled a small red box and shook it, multiple items rattling inside. He cracked the box open over the table, and several dice rolled out amidst sheets of paper.
"Yahtzee!" Discord announced.
Fluttershy appeared relieved. "Oh, alright!"
It was in the midst of their game, the game, which might be noted, that Fluttershy was losing quite terribly at, that there came a frantic knocking at the door. Multiple, unrelenting knockings that could only have come from more than one individual. Confused yet excited at the prospect of having more company, Fluttershy rose from the table and moved over to the door.
"Don't be too long now, Fluttershy," Discord called, narrowing his eyes slightly. "I don't like sore losers."
Fluttershy nodded again and opened the door, gasping slightly as she suddenly found herself looking down upon the smiling faces of the Crusaders, all three of them, who were bouncing up and down in place in almost perfect synchronization.
"Fluttershy!" Sweetie Belle squealed. "We need your help, its an emergency!" There seemed to be a lot of those going around today.
"Oh, goodness..." the pegasus said, shuffling her front leg. "Come in, I'll help if I can..."
The three did come in, all at once, and briefly got stuck in the doorway before tumbling into the cottage. Scootaloo almost immediately pointed accusingly at Apple Bloom. "We need to borrow your film projector, Apple Bloom broke the one we were using!"
"Ah did not break it!" She insisted. "It just caught fire, that's all!" She was holding an old film reel case under her right leg, and produced it. "We're part of the Gaming Club at school," she explained. "And every month a new episode gets sent out, and we gotta watch it!"
Fluttershy tilted her head. She didn't care much for gaming. "Alright," she said. "Discord," she called. "Could you-"
"Already on it," came the reply, and the Crusaders rushed past to where the draconequus was standing. He had either found or summoned an old film projector, and aimed it at a white sheet hanging on the far wall. Fluttershy knew she did not normally put her sheets on the walls, and presumed that his magic had put it there, especially with such short notice. She watched with interest as the children clumsily ran forward, taking the film out of its case and installing it into the slots for which it was meant.
The girls squealed with joy as the white sheet lit up with a crackling, grainy black and white screen.
"Why is it in black and white?" Fluttershy asked.
"It's supposed to be noir, its an artistic decision," Scootaloo said, her voice high and snobby, mimicking an art critic. "The fad of color films is rapidly diminishing."
Fluttershy stared at her.
"The school's on a budget," Apple Bloom explained, giving Scootaloo a dirty look. "We work with what we can get."
The screen lit up, revealing two ponies standing back to back on their hind legs, each wearing a rounded straw hat, and carrying a curved hook of a cane. Discord and Fluttershy didn't recognize either of them. The pony on the left was small, a child barely more than the age of the Crusaders themselves, while the other appeared nearly if not full grown, and both ponies did a sort of cartwheel in the opposite direction, bending down on their knees as if to propose to a pretty mare, and holding out their canes.
"He's my bro!" The colt announced.
"He's not so bro!" The stallion announced
"And we're the Barn Bros!"
Then the film shifted to an old style arcade booth, the name of it revealed to be Battle Blaster. Sweetie Belle had a dreamy look in her eyes. Fluttershy waved her hoof in front of the filly's face, but got no reaction. "It's no use," Scootaloo said. "She gets like this every time she sees Button Mash. He's the little one."
"And th'other one is JonTrot," Apple Bloom said. "They show off all sorts of tricks for beating the classic games. Last month they did Megazoid Meltdown, which is said to be so hard nopony has EVER see the end of it. Thanks Fluttershy!"
"Shh!" Sweetie Belle hissed, not tearing her eyes of the screen.
Fluttershy didn't understand any of this, and looked at Discord, who shrugged with equal confusion. The Crusaders were spared, thankfully, from questioning further by a tremendous crash from outside the cottage. Fluttershy yelped and nearly instinctively hid inside a flower pot, but she'd been trying very hard to do better with that. She slowly crept to the window, to see Rainbow Dash sticking halfway out of her chicken coop. Twilight and Pinkie Pie were racing towards her, and Dash was pinned in the coop up to her waist. Chickens were dancing on her back, pecking angrily at having been startled and violated.
Fluttershy gaped at the scene, eyes bouncing between Rainbow Dash, and the two who were running towards her. She burst out of the front door of the cottage, vaguely aware of Discord coming up behind her, and her voice was immediately tinged with alarm. "What HAPPENED?" She squeaked.
"I just don't know what went wrong!" Twilight sounded exasperated. "All the measurements were right, all the blueprints were right, I calculated the trajectory and wind speed... our first test run went without a hitch!" Pinkie and Twilight were on either side of Rainbow Dash now, yanking her free of the chicken coop.
Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie and Twilight sat in a tight, partial semi-circle around the large wooden object that had been constructed using the schematics in one of Twilight's old books. Fluttershy had understandably wanted to know, almost demanded but hadn't quite the aggression to demand things, why Rainbow Dash had crashed into her property. The others had been similarly confused, which made Fluttershy all the more upset.
The object in front of her was last the last straw.
"We just wanted to catch that bird," Rainbow Dash complained, trying to pass off the whole affair as no big deal.
"So you built a catapault?!" The other pegasus asked.
"Well, yes," Twilight said. "I always wanted to try building something, and Pinkie said it would be fun."
"In my defense, I say everything is fun," Pinkie chimed in. "Except fruitcake. I don't know WHO thought of that, but fruitcake is most decidedly not fun. But fruit is, and cake is too!"
"I calibrated the sling using Pinkie as a test weight," Twilight explained. "But Rainbow Dash was the one who we launched. Pinkie weighs more, so the only explanation is that it screwed up my calculations. I triple checked my math, and I KNOW it was right."
"I do not weigh more!" Pinkie gasped, sounding insulted.
"You eat more candy than the rest of us combined," Rainbow said. "Meanwhile I am toned and aerodynamically awesome."
Pinkie pouted. "I work it off, you've seen all the bouncing around I do."
Fluttershy looked from one pony to the other. "You're not going to launch that thing again, are you? Because I'm really not okay with that. And I don't want any further part of this." She rose as if to emphasize her point, and somehow managed to make storming off back towards her house look cute.
"It's okay!" Pinkie said cheerfully. "I'm gonna ride it this time, and it'll work exactly like we planned it." She emphasized this point by jumping into the rounded, spoon shaped edge of the catapault, and buckled the strap of the safety helmet under her chin. "Dashie put down birdseed at the end of the road, and I painted one of my murals. Now all we do is wait."
"I still don't think this is a good idea," Twilight began. "But if you insist on it-"
All three ponies fell silent, while Rainbow Dash peered through a set of binoculars. The strange blue bird zoomed up the road, leaving a thick trail of dust behind it. It approached the pile of birdseed near the mural with oblivious eagerness, and skidded to a halt only to peck at it.
"Now!" Rainbow Dash said, letting her foreleg swing downward as if holding an invisible flag. Twilight unhooked the cord holding the catapault in its downward position, and Pinkie was airborne a millisecond later, the catapault giving off a cartoonish twang.
Pinkie flew towards the base of the mural with outstretched forelegs, only a moment later did Twilight realize the obvious error that they had overlooked.
"She's going to smash into the mountain! She'll be hurt!" Twilight cried.
Rainbow Dash gaped, her mouth hanging open. "Pinkie, turn around! Abort! Abort!" She took to the air, forgetting the plan entirely, and zoomed towards her friend as quickly as possible. "Pinkie!" She shouted, eyes focused in concentration.
Pinkie Pie didn't seem to care, her features curving upwards in a wide grin. She managed to wrap her forelegs around the surprised Roadrunner, who meeped only once, and with less than its normal enthusiasm. Pinkie crashed through the painting and tumbled head over bird down the road which she herself had applied with a brush only an hour earlier. She tumbled right off the edge of the end of the road, which curved off to a nonexistant location, and looked down with the bird in her grasp. Her eyes widened, and she held up a large sign, which she pulled from behind her back.
[WHEE!]
And then Pinkie plummeted, disappearing off the edge of the painting with her prize.
Twilight yelled and teleported forward, Rainbow Dash never slowing down in her attempt to emulate Pinkie's trick. She smashed into the side of the painted mountain with cringe inducing force, before sliding weakly down towards the ground, her head throbbing.
While the two of them were confusingly mourning the apparent loss of their friend, Pinkie came up behind them. "What are we all sad about?" She asked accusingly. She wasn't used to seeing her friends sad, and that just wouldn't do!
"Pinkie's gone!" Twilight moaned, not looking up.
Pinkie gave a shuddering gasp. "What?!" She exclaimed, and sat down on her rump.
Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked up, and stared at Pinkie in shock.
"Pinkie?!"
"I don't know anymore! Twilight said I'm not here!"
"But... you went over the edge..."
"Duh. I'm part bubble. Bubbles bounce, you told me that!"
"I what?" Twilight blinked.
"You know. From that big book of Equestrian predators." Her usual smile had returned.
"...That was BUMBLES, Pinkie. Bumbles bounce. Not bubbles."
"Don't bother trying to figure her out, Twilight. It never ends well."
"Hey!"
"Where's the bird, Pinkie?" Rainbow asked, frowning. "You had it when you... did whatever you did and went down."
"It's around here somewhere," Pinkie said casually. "I let it go. I didn't want to hurt it."
Rainbow Dash groaned. "Ugh! I still have one more idea I want to try to catch this thing!"
Twilight shook her head. "Not with my help you're not. This isn't healthy, Rainbow Dash. You're starting to get obsessive. We just almost turned Pinkie into pudding!"
"Yeah! Although I would have made totally super delicious pudding."
Twilight and Pinkie both began to leave, the former walking and the latter bouncing.
"Well fine!" Rainbow shouted after them. "I'll just get Fluttershy to help me again!"
She was confident in this new plan until reaching Fluttershy's cottage, and had barely begun to ask for help when the door was shut in her face and the audible click of a lock was heard.
"...I guess I'm doing this by myself," Rainbow sighed. "One last try."
Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie stood on either side of Twilight, who held a struggling Rainbow Dash over her head via magical aura prison. The pegasus had plenty of room to struggle and move, although the aura formed to her body shape and moved with her. Rainbow had not wanted to come on this last mission willingly, despite being an important part of it, and Twilight had just about had enough of her shenanigans.
"I can and I will," Twilight said. "This bird is driving you crazy with obsession. And I know crazy, I've been there," she said firmly. "We are sending this bird back through the portal and closing it. And we need at least everypony present who opened the portal in order to close it again."
"But I haven't caught it yet!"
"And you're not going to. We are your friends, and we are having an intervention," Twilight demanded, and turned the path corner to the small clearing in the Everfree Forest where the portal sat. "We dealt with that blue spacedog three times because of this, and now your bird. It's caused us nothing but trouble, and I'm shutting it down for good," she said.
"Also so Lunabrony can't use it as a gateway for more crossovers that nobody asked for," Pinkie chimed.
The quartet reached the inactive but still very much present portal from which so many undesirable things had come.
"Now," Twilight said, "We're going to put down birdseed, and there will be no deviations from the plan. Once the portal is open, rush towards the bird. It will instinctively take the closest escape route, back to exactly where it came from. Now hide, all of you. Fluttershy, seed the portal."
The rest hid, with Rainbow Dash being hidden in bushes against her will, still in the purple aura though she had stopped struggling for the most part. Fluttershy placed birdseed down near the portal, a huge pile of it, and then squeaked back into her hiding place again.
"Now," Twilight said. "The portal is going to be very sensitive when the bird is going through it, more so than usual. So don't anypony move or think of anything, we don't want to accidentally summon any of its friends from the other side."
"I love that song!" Pinkie said suddenly, and all of them looked at her.
"Never mind," the party pony said with a shrug.
"Here it comes!" Twilight announced. "Everypony get ready! Rainbow Dash... behave," she warned. Rainbow's aura disappeared as her horn glowed, but the pegasus remained obediently where she was. A blast of light shone towards the portal, which activated with a humming like a generator, appearing once more as a small door into another world, a tear in the universal fabric.
The bird greedily began pecking at the seed as they all knew it would, oblivious to anything else around it.
Twilight gave a silent count, and they all charged forward in a horseshoe shape towards the same point. The bird gave a final "Meep, Meep!" And bolted into the portal, just as Twilight planned. All four ponies skidded to a halt just inches from each other.
"I'm going to close the portal," Twilight said. "It'll take a few seconds, so don't any of you-"
The wind picked up, quite suddenly, and a dull, distant roaring came from the other side of it. The wind was rising obnoxiously fast, and Twilight was concerned. She'd only barely just begun to close the portal, which shuddered and shook with the resistance of an effort to stay open.
"Empty your heads!" Twilight shouted over the wind. "Empty your heads, don't think of anything! Don't think of-"
The portal sparked into violent activity as it always did when something was about to come through it.
"No!" Twilight yelled. "We weren't... I didn't... I didn't think of anything!" She looked behind her at Fluttershy. "Did you?!"
Fluttershy shook her head.
Twilight glanced at Pinkie. "Did you?"
"My mind is totally blank!" She bounced.
All three of them looked at Rainbow Dash.
"Well I didn't either! I swear!" Rainbow insisted.
"Well someone thought of something!" Twilight yelled now, the wind having picked up to an almost sub-roar.
A split second before the portal closed forever, a violent tornado of force and wind burst through it, spinning and whirling and sending the four ponies running in all different directions, screaming. It stopped spinning only long enough to resembled a furry, hunched over creature filled with teeth and rage, clawing at the air in a confused stupor.
"Blaaaaargh!" It announced, before taking up its tornado appearance again and destructively whirling after the fleeing equines.
Rainbow Dash and Twilight exchanged a glance while running from this monstrous thing.
"If none of us thought of anything, then where the buck did that thing come from?!" Twilight hissed.
"We may never know..." Rainbow replied.
---
Making significant progress for a miniature devilish tornado, the destructive force sped right through the center of town, smashing through the lower wall of Carousel Boutique. Rarity was awake in less than a seconds, her forelegs flailing at a swarm of invisible insects. Her piercing scream was nearly enough to shatter the windows of every building within a ten mile radius.
---
Back at the scorched ground where the portal had closed and sealed itself off from reality, Discord appeared with a wild, toothy grin on his face.
"Ain't I a stinker?" He asked pleasantly, then teleported off again to destinations unknown.
