The most bloodthirsty, back stabbing, cheating, and lying filled event of the year is on. Welcome to the Miss Ponyville Pagent. Which ever lucky filly wins the grand prize, a check for ten thousand bits, will also automatically advance to the country levels. So which filly will win? It is up to you, Ponyville. May the best filly win! Every filly in Ponyville is ready to backstab and cheat to get the grand prize. So who will it be? Diamond Tiara? Sweetie Belle? Zipporwhil? Scootaloo? Twist? Silver Spoon? Apple Bloom? Dinky Doo? Archer? Cotton Cloudy? Cast your vote below for who should win! Voting closed
Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon trotted along the road. Up ahead the new crystal palace of friendship could be seen. A makeshift stage had started being set up next to it, and ponies were milling around, pushing and pulling crates or going over checklists. Shouts and catcalls echoed throughout the air as a portly stallion cantered by, pulling a giant cart full of garabage from the workers of the site.
Soon a small booth in one corner of the chaos caught the two fillies' eyes. A giant sign above the wooden stand said "Sign Ups."
Their parents had sent them off to sign up for the fist annual Miss Ponyville Pagent. It would consist of only fillies.
Diamond Tiara stuck her snout in the air, huffing as she approached the stand. Silver trotted behind her, trying to keep up with Diamond's brisk, lady-like trot.
Diamond looked back behind her to see Silver slouching while she trotted. Diamond glared at her, giving her an Evil Eye. Silver immediately perked up, her back straight and her snout in the air. But when DT turned back around, she slouched just a bit.
DT and SS reached the unstable looking booth. A teenage mare leaned against the side of it, blowing giant bubbles of gum from her red lipsticked lips before popping it, making a loud, wet sound.
The young mare popped her gum, her long, lean, snow-white legs moving her behind the counter of the booth.
"So whah can I doah for yah?" she said in a southern accent, popping her pastel gum once again.
"We would like to enter the pagent, Miss." Diamond said. She laid her filled out form along with Silver's. The young mare looked up at her expectantly, her ice blue eyes probing DT's soul. DT huffed, pulling out a hoof full of silver bits from her pink saddle bags and sliding them across the table.
The teen mare smiled a bit greedily and shoved the bits into a small cash register. She then shook her raven mane out, smiling at the two small fillies before leaning under the counter to grab some more gum.
As the pair trotted away, DT and Silver gave the booth one more glance.
Diamond huffed. "I'm lucky I won't have to grow up to be a douschbag like that mare. I'm not even sure if she was a mare." DT said as she straightened her tiara on her head.
"Don;t you agree?" she asked Silver.
"Uh-maybe?" Silver said. She had actually kind of liked the cashier.
"Maybe!? MAYBE?! She was a TOTAL loser, my friend. Tots loser."
Silver rolled her eyes, but when DT had been glaring at her for about a minute she finally gave in, nodding a barely noticeable nod as she pushed her teal glasses back up her muzzle.
"Thought so." DT said as she moved in front of Silver, prancing about the path as if she were hot stuff. Which, in Silver and all the colts in the school's opinion, was not the truth.
Silver just tried to keep up with her bully friend. Silver hated DT's guts, but their parents forced each other to be together all the time. . And to do everything together. EVERYTHING. Silver loved hoofball, but couldn't play because DT hated it. No matter what she liked it was always about DT. Always. Oh, Silver hates dress-up, Silver hates makeup. Well, to bad. DT does, so they have to do it. DT hates hoofball, DT hates video games. Oh well. Silver, your out of luck. As always.
Silver could see her home, right next to DT's. Of course, DT's was a million times bigger.
Silver quickly waved to DT before diving into her house, galloping into her room without even saying hello to her parents and older sister, Bronze Fork.
She slammed the door shut and proceeded to play Minecraft, a new game that was taking Equestria by storm. SS smiled as she began to build a diamond castle, and used gold blocks to make the words "No DT's allowed." appear on the side of the palace.
===
The CMC were just leaving the booth when Twist and Zipporwhil arrived. Scootaloo had refused to talk to them and had been forced to come to the sign ups. Basically Apple Bloom had dragged a kicking and screeching Scoots to the sign ups while Sweetie had filled out the forms, feigning Rainbow Dash's signature at the bottom of the form.
Now, Scoots got on her scooter, which Apple Bloom had also dragged, and buzzed away from her friends, anger coursing over her features.
Sweetie and Apple Bloom both rolled their eyes and hugged each other quickly before going their separate ways, Sweetie to Button Mash's house to play Minecraft and Apple Bloom to town to pick up some groceries for Granny Smith.
Zipporwhil and Twist had both been pretty good friends with the CMC until they both earned their cutie marks around the same time. The two nerdy, glasses wearing fillies had found each other, alone, at the playground while the other ponies played. They had quickly become the best of friends.
They confided in each other their deepest secrets, some good, some bad, and one amazing one on Twist's behalf. Now they did everything together, and they loved it.
Now, at the stand, they looked up at the dark maned mare, who now was popping a purple grape flavored gum. They turned in their filled forms of consent and Zipporwhil eagerly gave the mare a pile of silver bits, more than needed.
Her dad, Nightjar, had recently got a deal with Sapphire Records, and had become an instant celebrity. Millions of Equestrians had bought his records, and Zipporwhil had become instantly popular as well. To bad she had taken after her mother, having a talent of taking care of animals. Zipporwhil had never known who her mother was, and her father refused to talk about the topic.
Twist rummaged around in her saddle bags, pulling out a few golden bits and a mountain of dust bunnies and shards of candy canes.
She set the pile on the counter. The teen mare carefully picked through the sticky bits of candy and dust to grab the bits. She counted them quickly and quietly.
"Yar two bits short there, little missy," she said, pointing to the pile of golden bits.
Twist fruitlessly searched her saddle bags for more coins to no avail. She was about to walk away, defeated, when Zipporwhil flipped two golden bits onto the counter, along with a pack of strawberry gum.
Twist and the mare smiled up at Zipporwhil. Twist gave her friend a tight hug before letting go.
"Thanks for tha gum, little missy," the mare said, brushing her dark mane out of her icy blue eyes. She shook Zipporwhil's hoof.
"The name's Penny Pocket. Ya seem a mite familiar. You ain't the famous Nightjar's little filly, are ya now?"
All Zipporwhil did was nod before trotting away. She expected the mare to get to her knees and beg Zipporwhil to give her an autograph of her father's, but Penny Pocket just stayed behind her stand, spitting out her grape gum and smashing a piece of strawberry gum into her waiting maw.
===
Dinky Doo trotted alone down the path. Archer and Cotton Cloudy, her two friends, had already signed up long ago. Dinky had had to deal with some family matters, concerning a broken blue telephone box and a sonic screwdriver.
Dinky Doo reached the stand just in time. Penny Pocket had just begun to take the stand down, the top sign clutched in her mouth as she began to carry it towards the castle of friendship.
"Hey, miss!" Dinky called out, getting Penny's attention. Penny spit out the sign and slowly trotted over to Dinky, throwing a piece of strawberry gum into her mouth.
"What can I doh fah yah, little one?" Penny asked.
"Is it to late to sign up for the Miss Ponyville Pagent?"
"I'm afraid so, little missy."
"I'll give you a sonic screwdriver."
"Deal."
===
Diamond Tiara sat on her bed, looking down at a giant sheet of light blue paper. At the top it said "How to Win The Pagent." Several pictures of fillies being smashed under things and breaking body parts covered the paper.
Silver Spoon sat on her bed, curled up in a ball, thinking. She had just gotten back from a playdate with Diamond Tiara at Sugarcube Corner. There Diamond had told her to lose the first round purposefully. Silver was deep in mental debate. On side of her, the crazy, non-thinking side, screeched to keep going, to dazzle them with her talent. But the other half, the nice, kind, calm, even a bit shy, side whispered to think carefully. After all, Diamond was her only friend and probably could get revenge easily with her stash of money.
But the whispers of her shy part of her mind were lost in the sea of screams of revenge and anger towards Diamond. Now, only hearing the hateful part, Silver decided to go on, try her hardest, to do her best.
She licked her lips and trotted out of her room and into the kitchen to retrieve her materials.
After gathering twenty glass glasses and filling them with various amounts of water, she sorted them so the most full was at one side and the emptiest was at the other. She then began to blow.
The shrill yet elegant, melodic music filled the once quiet cottage as Silver moved her head side to side, speeding up her melodious music.
Boo Doo Loo Moo Roo Mooo DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The song echoed throughout the house, so loud birds outside fell from the sky from the shrill sound of the last note. But Silver either didn't notice or didn't care that she might have just lost her hearing as her head bobbed rhythmically over the glasses, a softer, faster melody pulsating throughout the air.
Silver played until her lips were raw. Soon she was forced to down several of the cups of water. She licked her lips after swallowing the last cup. Her stomach was full of water as she made her way into he room to play Minecraft, oblivious to the birds that were clutching their tiny ear drums from the loud yet gorgeous tone.
===== Scootaloo and Sweetie were at the clubhouse. Apple Bloom was at the farm, working on props for her talent.
Scootaloo was dancing and prancing around outside on the grass in front of the clubhouse, her moves lighting speed as she flipped and kicked and vaulted around the ground.
Sweetie sat in the clubhouse, a soft melody escaping from her lips before she clutched the imaginary microphone tighter with her forelegs. A soft falsetto escaped from her lips, followed by a surge of low notes.
But when she tried to go up high, her voice cracked a bit. She could sing high softly, but an audience like the pageant's one wouldn't be able to hear it.
Sweetie Belle sighed, defeated. She tried a different song that didn't go as high, and soon wa smoving about the clubhouse avidly as she finished the song.
"OHHHHHohohooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhohooooooooooohhhhhhhh!" she sang before she collapsed, panting.
Singing was hard work.
===
"My talent at defeating Daleks? Dad, this is a pageant. In public."
"Ohhhhh. Well, how about your acrobatics?"
"Good idea. I'll go get a team."
Dinky trotted out of her house, her father watching from the door as she turned the street corner. Now where had she seen those sleazy dancers? Was it by The Stallions Only Bar?
===
Cotton Cloudy and Archer were practicing together.
Archer was shooting her bow at multiple targets of varying size and distance away from her.
She fitted a blue feathered arrow into her bow and pulled back with her teeth. She let go, watching the arrow cut through the air.
It hit its target, a small piece of cardboard, that was ten feet away from Archer.
Meanwhile Cotton Cloudy was twirling around long rainbow ribbons. She kept tripping over them and falling over, but she kept on practicing, hoping to get better.
===
Zipporwhil whistled, and her two puppies, both Yorkies, came to her hooves.
She then lead them through a series of hoops with different whistles. When they got through the course, she fed them smelly dog treats before trying to get them through a small plastic tunnel. Both refused.
"Come on, Paw and Print. We gotta do this!"
The pups still refused, and Zippor was forced to push them near it. Soon they got over their fear and ran through the tunnel, appearing at the other side.
Zippor fed them another treat each and then lead them to the sea saw.
Both pups took off into the brush.
Zippor rolled her eyes and then buzzed after them.
===
Diamond Tiara was dressed in her finest ballet dress and did a pirouette before landing gracefully on her hooves.
She danced around before falling to the floor, exhausted. One of her many butlers brought her a glass of ice water, which she sipped like a lady before throwing the remainder of it in the butler's face.
The now sopping butler left to dry off while DT pulled out her blueprint.
"First Target: Cotton Cloudy."
===
Twist sat in he room, muttering in her lisp as she finished her homework.
The second she finished she threw the pencil down and began to hum. She then pulled out a song she had written and began to sing, her lisp disappearing.
Over the misty isles, my song, echoes through the wind.
Along the shadowy moors, my voice rises abovvve.
Now you listen to this song.
Haunted by its souuuuuuuuound.
Over the misty iiiiiiiiiiiiii-lllllllll-sssssssssssssssessssssssssssssssssssssssss.
Over the shaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-dooowwwwwwwwwww-yy moorrrrrrrrrrssssssssssssssssssssss.
My song can be herrrrrrrr-rrrrrrrrrrrrd.
Over the isles and moors.
My song lives on.
She took a deep breath. Not her favorite creation, and it was still a work in progress. She pulled out another sheet, this one more pop than old folktaleish.
You think you can make fun of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
La-la-la----little ole meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Well, you've thought wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrronngggggggggggggggg.
You think you bother ole meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
La-la-la--- little ole meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Now ya just talking to yourself.
Not to little ole meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Talking to yourself.
Thinking yourrrrrrrrrrrr
Above all else.
Wellllllllll I
Could.
Care less.
Aaaaaaaabout youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
La-la-la little ole meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?
Sc-sc-scared of Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!?
Twist stood behind the stage curtains, breathing slowly. Her body was itching in the red and white striped mini dress that hugged her body. She took a step forward and accidentally toppled, falling to the wooden floor.
"Curse these high heels," Twist whispered before getting to her hooves. She was going to be fourth to go and showcase her talent.
They had already trotted down the runway once as the show opener so everypony could see who was contending.
Twist eyed the last contestant, who was a "dark horse" if you will. He, yes he, was groaning as he tried to move in the tight froo froo dress that made his wings clasped to his back.
Twist had heard Rumble had lost a big bet with his older brother, Thunderlane, and had been forced to compete. The pageant was happy to have another contestant, no matter the gender of it.
She watched as the first contestant, Cotton Cloudy, stumbled out onto the stage, barley keeping her footing. She then surged to the center stage, her small muscles flexing under what she wore, a very tight rainbow whole body leotard.
She flipped and ducked, her two rainbow flags twirling and swirling in the air around her. A few times earl yon she tripped up, stumbling for a second before gracefully landing on her hooves.
All the other contestants were watching this through a small gap in the curtains that was hidden from the audience. All but one was missing.
Diamond Tiara.
Suddenly the filly came barreling down the steps that led up to the upper catwalks that the lights hung from. Diamond was out of breath and pushed her way to the front of the small group of contestants to peek through the whole. She was smiling manically as she watched the little white filly dance and twirl.
Soon, the dance number started to come to an end. Cotton Cloudy's movements became slower and then faster, more complicated for the grand finale.
Suddenly cries could be heard form the catwalks as a giant spotlight swung free from its hinges that held it to the metal catwalk. It plummeted towards the little dancing filly, who was oblivious of the ball of metal danger hurtling towards her.
Cotton Cloudy looked up to see the catwalk only seconds away from crashing into her. She attempted to leap out of the way, but her back legs were caught under it. The crunching of bone could be heard as mane raising screams echoed throughout the outdoor auditorium that had been erected outside Twilight's castle.
Medics quickly took onto the stage, fixing a gas mask across the screeching filly's muzzle, putting her to sleep. They then quickly wrapped her legs in a weak cast that would hold until they made it until the hospital.
The medics loaded her onto a carriage, tying her down on a small rolling cot. Her parents and family climbed aboard the vehicle. Then the ambulance was off, its sirens wailing as it disappeared down the street.
Twist was scared to go out on the stage. Her body shook as she watched her best friend Zipporwhil take the stage, opening a small blue cage that held her puppies, Paw and Print.
Zipporwhil speedily set up various obstacles and began leading her dogs through them. She kept glancing up at the sky, as if expecting another stage light to topple from the rafters.
While Zipporwhil continued her performance, a discussion broke out between Rarity and the rest of the Mane Six.
"WE need to shut this down NOW! ' Twilight whispered harshly. "We can't have fillies getting hurt and possibly dying left and right."
"It was probably just a coincidence, Twilight. Just cool down," Rainbow said.
"Ah agree with Twilight. My sis is up onen that stage, an ah don't wanna risk her life just for a lousy pile of bits," Applejack countered.
"BUT WHO WANTS TO END SUCH A FUN PARTY?" Pinkie shouted.
"Uh-uh I don't really care as long as no one else gets hurt..." Fluttershy squeaked.
"I'm on the fence. I was the one who came up with this in the first place, and I love pageants. But my sister is up there. I don't want her to die!" Rarity exclaimed.
But the six returned their attention back to the stage. Zipporwhil had left a long time ago and Archer was currently shooting her bow at a target several feet away.
They began to quietly discuss once again when Archer left the stage, beaming.
Twist watched Archer retreat back to the group of contestants. Twist breathed slowly as she moved onto the stage. She began to sweat.
Twist watched a yellow unicorn mare quickly place a microphone on the stage before cantering into the shadows.
Twist took the microphone between her front hooves and spoke.
"Today I will be singing a song I wrote myself."
She took a deep breath and scanned the crowd. They looked up at her expectantly, eyes shining as they waited for her serenade.
She gulped and began to sing.
"My jasmine
Left me lonnnnnnnnnnnnnng agoooooho."
The ponies in the crowd had their eyes open wide at her tone, scratchy but elegant.
"My lily
She floated away
Deeeeep into the ponnnnnnnnnnnnnnd.
My jasmine, she left me lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng agoooooooooho.
I ain't heard from her
No, ain't any more."
Twist was in the groove now. She ripped the microphone from its stand and began to saunter around the stage while she sang.
"MY-Y-Y-Y JASMIIIINNNNNNNNE!
SHE-she left me long agooooooooho.
My Jasmine-ine.
Loooooooooooooooooooooooong gone.
WHO who who whooooooooooooooo.
WHERE HAS MY JASMINE JASMINE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE?"
The last notes cut through the air like a keen, sharp blade.
Twist scanned the crowd. Noponyw as clopping their hooves together. No one had liked it.
She began to sulk off the stage, starting to drown in her melancholy, when a sea of hoof clops sounded behind her. She turned around to see every pony there on their hooves clopping for her.
She smiled so wide hat her face almost split in half.
This is the best day ever! Twist thought.
===
Diamond Tiara grunted behind stage.
"That Twist is a problem. To bad I can't get rid of her until later on for my plan to work. Meh, I could actually probably get her out now. But I'll torment her, save her demise for a bit later."
DT then began to hysterically cackle in her backstage room.
Her dad then poked his head in the room.
"Hows my little evil cackling empress? Ready to hurt some more ponies so you can have even more bits?"
"Good daddy. Now go away before you meet your demise! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" DT then pulled out a wicked sword and pointed it at her father, who quickly made his leave, slamming the door shut behind him.
Twist watched, frazzled, as the show went on. She retreated backstage as Scootaloo took the stage, smiling devilishly.
"VROOM, VROOM!" Scootaloo's scooter rumbled as it began to whiz around the stage. She flipped and cartwheeled on the vehicle while still controling it. Ohs and awes came from the crowd as they watched her, in a trance.
Twist moved to one of the backstage rooms, where her name was marked in red, sprawling letters.
She collapsed on her makeshift bed in the room, sipping a cool glass of water.
Scootaloo's performance ended, and the crowd roared in happiness.
Twist's eyes drooped, and she dozed off.
===
Archer was perched at the see through hole, smiling as Scootaloo left. They were pretty good friends, and it was good to see her pal get some attention that she craved so much.
Apple Bloom took the stage next, jumping and twirling through that metal hoop of hers. Archer's smile stayed where it was as Apple Bloom's tricks became ever complicated. Soon she was cartwheeling through the hoop while balancing a bottle of water and her head and not spilling a single drop.
She had no idea how the Apple filly did such a thing, but she did, and the crowd gave a good response.
Archer sighed happily as Apple Bloom's act continued on. She spotted a bag filled with peppermint sticks with her name scribbled lazily on it on a nearby table.
She looked around and then scooped up the bag, quickly swallowing up all the contents of the plastic container.
She was about to return to watch the show when an annoying itching bubbled up in her throat. She smacked her lips, and headed backstage to go procure a few cups of the refreshing substance.
When she reached the water cooler, she found all the cups smashed on the floor and the cooler mysteriously emptied all over the floor.
Archer sighed. She knew that there was an old, rusty water fountain out back. The itching in her throat was unbearable, and she cantered outside.
The rusty water pump sat in a blade of moonlight. Once it might have gleamed gloriously, but know it sat in a sagging heap. Archer recoiled slightly. Would she even be able to coax a drop of water out of this forsaken pump?
She sighed, getting to the ground and kneeling under the faucet. She opened her maw to swallow the crystalline substance as she searched for the knob.
She had been searching fro it for about a minute when a cold hoof grasped her own as applauding sounded from the outdoor atrium.
Suddenly the grip tightened, and Archer was flipped backwards in a heap.
The shadowy figure bent over her, a maniacal gleam in its eye.
The figure, with surprising strength, wrenched the pump out of the ground, smashing it into Archer's spine.
The attacker fled as the injured pegasus' howls sounded throughout the night sky.
===
Dinky was about to take the stage when the cries of pain racked the building, spooking the audience.
The Mane Six, still in the crowd, were arguing once again.
"It has to be another attack!!! This is too much!" Twilight screeched.
But the rest were off, speeding through the crowd towards the incident.
Twilight huffed, taking her own way there.
She slid outside, breathing in the crisp nighttime air.
A clunk sounded nearby.
Twilight turned sharply on her hooves to see a fleeing, shadowy shape. On the ground where the figure had been was a twisted metal pipe.
Twilight picked it up, spooked. She set off for the growing crowd around what must be the victim.
She surveyed the pump, but knew she wouldn't be able to find out much about the attacker. If anything, the victim had been hurt by a strong stallion or mare due to how much force it would take to rip the pump from the ground.
Twilight was close to the crowd, and sped up to reach it.
===
Sweetie Belle, thoroughly shaken after witnessing the aftermath of Archer's attack, and had returned backstage to watch the rest of the competition. Dinky Doo was now on stage, a crew of at least twenty mares behind her in slim fitting garments matching her own.
Dinky Doo flipped in the air, landing on the backs of two of the backup dancers. They flipped her up, and another tow caught her. Soon they were a flurry of body parts and color, for a second a pyramid to the next a pulsating circle.
As soon as her performance was finished, cheers that rivaled the sound of Twist's rang throughout the auditorium.
Dinky Doo and her posse entered backstage, all smiling triumphantly.
The one mare galloped over to Sweetie Belle shaking her wildly.
"Where's your scotch stash?" she moaned, grabbing her belly.
"Um, we're only fillies...."
"WHERE'S YOUR BEER!"
"Uh, uh, um, out that door!" the alabaster unicorn squeaked. The whole pack of dancers was in the open, by the spot where Archer had been assaulted by the pipe wielding pony.
The mares dug into the ground, attempting to drink the dirt.
"Hey, this ain't no booze!" one of them squealed.
But Sweetie had already slammed the door shut and locked it, as well as shoving a table under the knob to make sure it didn't open.
'Sorry," she grunted at Dinky.
"Eh, don't mention it. Seriously. I need new ones anyway..."
"Kay kay."
"By the way, aren't you supposed to be on stage?"
Sweetie Belle gasped and sped off of the stage, grabbing a microphone stand. The crowd was a bit grumpy from having to wait, and she had a feeling that it might impact her performance.
===
Dinky Doo smiled. She might not be behind the whole Cotton and Archer scam, but she knew Sweetie was her biggest competition. So, just a little harmless delay wouldn't hurt anyone, right?
