Princess Trollestia

by zephyrdash

First published

What happens when Celestia finds out about trolls?

What happens when Princess Celestia is introduced to the Internet, and even worse, finds out about trolls. Hope you all like as comedy.

The Rise Of The Internetz

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AUTHORS NOTE: I used Rule 34 for more comedy. I've never gone on it or even thought about going on it, cause I'm not a disgusting idiot like some are.

It was a horrible Canterlot day. Celestia was so bored. All this rain made her mad, and when she was mad, nobody wanted to be around her. *Ka-boom!* sounded the thunder. "SHUT UP!!!!" yelled Celestia. "Oh, sister, dear! Can you come here for a moment?" yelled Luna from her room. "FINE! Anything to get away from this stupid RAIN and THUNDER!" Celestia stomped up to her sister's room and opened the door. "What do you want now, Luna?" "I found this new thing called the Internet! It's really fun! You can go around and look at comics and read and there's even a news site called Equestria Daily!" Celestia muttered something, although Luna couldn't hear it. "Show me" Celestia said. Luna nodded and brought her over to the computer. It was a new Robotnik Gaming Computer, customized with 5 Dual Core processors, 30GB of RAM, 10,000 GB of Hard Drive Space, and a lot more. "This is the best computer out there! It costed me 300 bits, though. Still, we rule this land! Good thing we have our 95 percent off discounts! Would have been over 1000 bits if we didn't have those!" Celestia was shocked at her sister's thinking. They were certainly rulers of the land, and could even kill a pony with a thought, but millionaires was going too far. "Ugh--Just show me" Luna started up the Computer and Celestia reacted instantly. "MY EYES! MY EYES! IT BURNS!" Luna had Rule 34 up as her homepage. She instantly exited it. Her cheeks turned a purple-red color. "Sorry, sister... That mind. Watch this!" Luna logged into Flankbook. Celestia was stunned. "See? This is the chat, messages, games, groups, pages, friends list, and more!" Luna explained. "But still, there's more to the internet then this!"


"Luna." "Yes, sister?" "Where did you get this computer." "Flank-Shop, that's where they sell all these things. They're pretty expens--- Sister? Sister? Where did you go?" Celestia teleported away to Flank-Shop. She walked up to a salesman and gave her the system requirements she wanted, which were the same as Luna's. The worker got one from the storage and put it on the counter. He checked in her 95 percent discount and said "That will be 300---" "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY BITS!" she slammed 500 bits down in front of him, not knowing how much she spent. "Okay, thank you, here's your change" "Keep the change!" Celestia flew away, back to the castle. At her throne, she set up a little gaming station, where when she wanted to game, she'd turn her chair around and play.

3:13 AM

"Sister? Are you there?" It was Luna. "Celestia? Are you okay?" Celestia slowly turned around in her chair. Her mane was all straggly. "Celestia, dear! What happened to you?!" "Just thought I'd d-do a l-little gaming on my new c-c-computer. Hee hee hee." said Celestia in a creepy voice. Her eyes suddenly went crossed. "Celestia, you need to sleep, you've been playing for 15 hours straight! And look at the weather forecast sheet! Today is going to be sunny, you can go outside, do some gardening! Just please, go to bed!" said Luna. "Fine... Maybe your right... Just a second..." she turned her chair around and on the screen it popped up:

Princess_Trollestia: Sorry, everypony. Got to go to bed. Sister's demands, even though I outrank her. Don't tell her I said that!

Vanilla_Twilight: That's okay, Princess. Spike has been bugging me all night, too. Says Call Of Cutie is too loud and I'll go crazy if I don't go to bed.

Soontobe_WonderboltDash: Good night, Celestia! I should go to bed too. Goodnight, everypony!

Iluv_Diamonds: I need my beauty sleep. Good night!

Jackofalltrades: G'night, y'all! Had a great game of Call Of Cutie!

Cute_Animals: Good night, Angel is getting sleepy, too.

Party_Animal: Good night! Gummy needs a bath before I go to bed.

Room population: 0

"Celestia, were those Twilight and her friends?!" "Yes, we were only playing Call Of Cutie! Anyways, lets go."
Celestia and Luna headed up to they're rooms and drifted off into a nice sleep.


Celestia was on the computer AGAIN. She downloaded Ponygin, a video game source engine by Epic Alicorns. She played the new Call Of Cutie for HOURS on end. The servers were packed. It was called Call Of Cutie 2: Equestria Warfare. "TAKE THAT NOOB! YAH YAH! Oh, what's this? A message from Twilight!" It read "Hey Princess! Wanna play a game of Call Of Cutie 2?" Celestia typed in "Yes, please! Will the others be on too?" Twilight replied in seconds. "Yes, Shining Armor and Cadence are using one account called ShiningandCadence, Spike is Dragon_Spike, and I believe your sister is playing, too! She's Princess_Night!" "Okay, I'll be there in a second!" The lobby was full with the Mane 6 and others. Everypony turned on Voice Chat. "So, what map we gonna play?" asked Spike. "I dunno, lets take a vote! Who wants to play Nukeville?" Everyone said I. "Okay, so Nukeville it is!" said Twilight. The game started. "On your left, Shining!" yelled Cadence, who was on another computer but using the same account. "Horseapples!" swore Shining, who got shot in the head by Rarity. "Ha! Sniped!" The leaders of the teams were Princess Luna, who led the Zebra's, and Celestia, who led the Equestrians. "HUZZAH! MY SCORE HAS BEEN DOUBLED!" yelled Princess Luna over the mic. Her score was 24, but in seconds she got another 24 kills with her Zebra Grenades. Once the game ended, the winning team was the Equestrians, the score was 800-799. "If I got that last kill we would have won!" said Spike. The game had an unlimited time limit, and it had lasted for hours. Nobody noticed it was 7PM. "Well, lets all logoff. We've been playing all day, and we need energy for tomorrow. Goodnight, everypony!" said Luna. Everypony logged off except Celestia and Twilight, who played some online matches with the Guards. But as time went by, it was 1:30 AM. Everyone, including Celestia, went to bed happily.

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry for the bad chapter end there. I can't work on it anymore til' tomorrow, there will be at least 2 more chapters. Thanks for reading!