• Published 1st Apr 2012
  • 4,047 Views, 26 Comments

Princess Trollestia - zephyrdash

What happens when Celestia finds out about trolls?

  • ...

The Rise Of The Internetz

AUTHORS NOTE: I used Rule 34 for more comedy. I've never gone on it or even thought about going on it, cause I'm not a disgusting idiot like some are.

It was a horrible Canterlot day. Celestia was so bored. All this rain made her mad, and when she was mad, nobody wanted to be around her. *Ka-boom!* sounded the thunder. "SHUT UP!!!!" yelled Celestia. "Oh, sister, dear! Can you come here for a moment?" yelled Luna from her room. "FINE! Anything to get away from this stupid RAIN and THUNDER!" Celestia stomped up to her sister's room and opened the door. "What do you want now, Luna?" "I found this new thing called the Internet! It's really fun! You can go around and look at comics and read and there's even a news site called Equestria Daily!" Celestia muttered something, although Luna couldn't hear it. "Show me" Celestia said. Luna nodded and brought her over to the computer. It was a new Robotnik Gaming Computer, customized with 5 Dual Core processors, 30GB of RAM, 10,000 GB of Hard Drive Space, and a lot more. "This is the best computer out there! It costed me 300 bits, though. Still, we rule this land! Good thing we have our 95 percent off discounts! Would have been over 1000 bits if we didn't have those!" Celestia was shocked at her sister's thinking. They were certainly rulers of the land, and could even kill a pony with a thought, but millionaires was going too far. "Ugh--Just show me" Luna started up the Computer and Celestia reacted instantly. "MY EYES! MY EYES! IT BURNS!" Luna had Rule 34 up as her homepage. She instantly exited it. Her cheeks turned a purple-red color. "Sorry, sister... That was...er.....Never mind. Watch this!" Luna logged into Flankbook. Celestia was stunned. "See? This is the chat, messages, games, groups, pages, friends list, and more!" Luna explained. "But still, there's more to the internet then this!"


"Luna." "Yes, sister?" "Where did you get this computer." "Flank-Shop, that's where they sell all these things. They're pretty expens--- Sister? Sister? Where did you go?" Celestia teleported away to Flank-Shop. She walked up to a salesman and gave her the system requirements she wanted, which were the same as Luna's. The worker got one from the storage and put it on the counter. He checked in her 95 percent discount and said "That will be 300---" "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY BITS!" she slammed 500 bits down in front of him, not knowing how much she spent. "Okay, thank you, here's your change" "Keep the change!" Celestia flew away, back to the castle. At her throne, she set up a little gaming station, where when she wanted to game, she'd turn her chair around and play.

3:13 AM

"Sister? Are you there?" It was Luna. "Celestia? Are you okay?" Celestia slowly turned around in her chair. Her mane was all straggly. "Celestia, dear! What happened to you?!" "Just thought I'd d-do a l-little gaming on my new c-c-computer. Hee hee hee." said Celestia in a creepy voice. Her eyes suddenly went crossed. "Celestia, you need to sleep, you've been playing for 15 hours straight! And look at the weather forecast sheet! Today is going to be sunny, you can go outside, do some gardening! Just please, go to bed!" said Luna. "Fine... Maybe your right... Just a second..." she turned her chair around and on the screen it popped up:

Princess_Trollestia: Sorry, everypony. Got to go to bed. Sister's demands, even though I outrank her. Don't tell her I said that!

Vanilla_Twilight: That's okay, Princess. Spike has been bugging me all night, too. Says Call Of Cutie is too loud and I'll go crazy if I don't go to bed.

Soontobe_WonderboltDash: Good night, Celestia! I should go to bed too. Goodnight, everypony!

Iluv_Diamonds: I need my beauty sleep. Good night!

Jackofalltrades: G'night, y'all! Had a great game of Call Of Cutie!

Cute_Animals: Good night, Angel is getting sleepy, too.

Party_Animal: Good night! Gummy needs a bath before I go to bed.

Room population: 0

"Celestia, were those Twilight and her friends?!" "Yes, we were only playing Call Of Cutie! Anyways, lets go."
Celestia and Luna headed up to they're rooms and drifted off into a nice sleep.


Celestia was on the computer AGAIN. She downloaded Ponygin, a video game source engine by Epic Alicorns. She played the new Call Of Cutie for HOURS on end. The servers were packed. It was called Call Of Cutie 2: Equestria Warfare. "TAKE THAT NOOB! YAH YAH! Oh, what's this? A message from Twilight!" It read "Hey Princess! Wanna play a game of Call Of Cutie 2?" Celestia typed in "Yes, please! Will the others be on too?" Twilight replied in seconds. "Yes, Shining Armor and Cadence are using one account called ShiningandCadence, Spike is Dragon_Spike, and I believe your sister is playing, too! She's Princess_Night!" "Okay, I'll be there in a second!" The lobby was full with the Mane 6 and others. Everypony turned on Voice Chat. "So, what map we gonna play?" asked Spike. "I dunno, lets take a vote! Who wants to play Nukeville?" Everyone said I. "Okay, so Nukeville it is!" said Twilight. The game started. "On your left, Shining!" yelled Cadence, who was on another computer but using the same account. "Horseapples!" swore Shining, who got shot in the head by Rarity. "Ha! Sniped!" The leaders of the teams were Princess Luna, who led the Zebra's, and Celestia, who led the Equestrians. "HUZZAH! MY SCORE HAS BEEN DOUBLED!" yelled Princess Luna over the mic. Her score was 24, but in seconds she got another 24 kills with her Zebra Grenades. Once the game ended, the winning team was the Equestrians, the score was 800-799. "If I got that last kill we would have won!" said Spike. The game had an unlimited time limit, and it had lasted for hours. Nobody noticed it was 7PM. "Well, lets all logoff. We've been playing all day, and we need energy for tomorrow. Goodnight, everypony!" said Luna. Everypony logged off except Celestia and Twilight, who played some online matches with the Guards. But as time went by, it was 1:30 AM. Everyone, including Celestia, went to bed happily.

AUTHORS NOTE: Sorry for the bad chapter end there. I can't work on it anymore til' tomorrow, there will be at least 2 more chapters. Thanks for reading!

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Comments ( 26 )

This was somewhat enjoyable. :moustache:

Stay frosty!

Reminds me of the late game nights I had with my friends. Call of Duty until 3 am, good times. :eeyup:
Good so far,

"Vanilla Twilight"
Where have I heard that before?...
It's decent right now, don't really know if I like it or not yet, but I'ma track it. Oh, wait. The only option to "track" is to favorite, meaning that I have to love anything that I track, even if I just want to see where it goes.
Oh well.

I know that feel all too well Celestia.
Private match on "Nukeville"? Yeah that's the way to get the ol' K/D up.
I see how it is Luna, grenade spamming the whole freaking map.
I agree with Hazard, that was enjoyable. :twilightsmile:

I liked their gaming nicknames.

Go on :moustache:

This was a very enjoyable story. :twilightsmile:
I enjoyed the gamer names. Can't wait to read more.


I can't help but feel that this is a little rough. It would be a lot more easy to read and overall enjoyable if you made some slight adjustments.
Bear in mind some of these are simply my opinion, while others are basically rules of writing.

Firstly, each new speaker gets their own line. This helps to break up the large blocks of text, as well as making it easier to identify who's talking.
Secondly, when somepony is speaking, and the descriptions for their speech is written before hand, you still need to add a comma to link the two. Example: Celestia typed in "So and so." <- That's incorrect, This is how it should read, Celestia typed in, "So and so." It's a little thing, but it helps to streamline dialogue. I would also consider replacing some of your periods with comma's. Periods should only mark the end of a sentence.
Thirdly, using a short hand device for the passage of time, I.E. 8 hours later, is generally a bad idea. It would be more effective to show us that 8 hours have passed, I'll leave that to you to figure out how.
Finally, have you considered bolding your words as opposed to typing them in capitals? Maybe it was your intention, but just to clear up. A bold word is added for emphasis, while a capital word symbolizes a person yelling.

Other than that, good premise, half decient characterization (which is surprisingly above average), slightly funny jokes and a complete subversion of what one wouldn't expect from this.
Coming Back

P.S. Then and Than are two different words, be sure to use the correct one.
P.S.S. It also would earn you a few brownie points to describe the things in your story a little more.

Not the most original story I've ever read.

Also, in sore need of formatting. :raritydespair:

ROFL Love this story, incredibly funny :rainbowlaugh:

Funny as hell. Definitely following this one :rainbowlaugh:

Mother of god. This gained popularity faster then my My Little Twilight story! Next chapter will be up tomorrow or the next day.

This kind of goes with the story, but, everyone, I JUST WON A DERPY HOOVES ON EBAY! :D Its a plush keychain, I won it for 10.50! :D :yay::yay::yay:

395293 lolol coool but check the seller it can be trollestia :pinkiehappy: also your story reminds me of me and my friends xd (weekends in a nutshell)

May I offer a suggestion?
Start a new paragraph every time a different person/pony/whatever speaks. It makes it an easier read. Other than that, no criticisms. :pinkiehappy:

Sorry guys, I've been really busy lately with my friends playing Call of Duty (Which we love so much) and I haven't had much time. I'll be working on some soon, and will hopefully have the next chapter released within 2 weeks.

403062 Lol it actually got here last Friday.

Hay people here is a read through of this funny story that zephydash did so enjoy :pinkiehappy:
Princess Trollestia Read Through

I'm surprised you didn't get spammed off the face of the planet. I guess trolls these days are just too lazy to be arsed to sign up for websites. :trixieshiftright:

What am I talking about? You hit the main page of rule34 itself, that's what!
It says on the news:
"Hay look, we got mentioned on a fic! 34 is Luna's homepage? Always knew you were bestpony! Go sign up and vote, you know you want to. ;Þ" :rainbowlaugh:

529168 Thanks man! I'll be sure to release Chapter 2 soon. I've been so so so busy lately. By the way, I saw you had problem pronouncing zephyrdash, it's pronounced "Zeff-Er-Dash". :D (I'm zanaman3000 on YouTube) I'm going to subscribe to you, and maybe you could do a readthrough of My Little Twilight (By me).

Epic start!

I. NEED. MORE. CHAPTERS. STAT! :trollestia:


how u have seven pony tags? :rainbowhuh:

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