Ladies' Night

by Holy

First published

When the local Canterlot bar hosts the weekly ladies' night, you're always close by. One night you get very lucky, two princesses at the same time lucky.

All the hottest bars in Canterlot host a weekly ladies' night. No girl can resist the allure of half-price drinks and free entry, and you can't resist the massive pick. One night you meet a couple of ladies by the names of Twilight and Cadance.

What harm could come from a little adult fun? It's not like one of them is married or anything... right?


Edited by the wonderful Midnight Spark | Art Source | Support the author | Ko-fi

All in Good Fun

View Online

The music in the club assaulted your ears and thumped through your very core, feeling like a second heartbeat as the latest song blared and the DJ bobbed her head to the beat. The lights were a dull purple and pink, lighting up the dance floor but not much else. This left most of the club quite dim; all except for the bright blue lights over at the bar of course.

Normally you wouldn't want to waste your time in a place like this—too many of Canterlot’s junkies and partygoers in one place was never good—but tonight was special.

Tonight was ladies’ night.

The illustrious call of half price drinks and free entry were too much for even the most uptight of Canterlot's younger crowd, meaning you had quite a selection to choose from tonight. You'd gotten extremely lucky at almost every ladies' night you've been to, and you weren't about to pass up the chance now.

You passed through the dancefloor, halfway eying the local selection, and halfway grinding on the girls that were already pretty close. You passed by a few good-looking ones, got a few winks and smiles, but you felt you could do better tonight.

It was still early in the night, and the hottest girls who had yet to really cut loose were still sitting at the bar. Putting on your best confident smile, you sauntered over to the brightly lit bar to hand out a couple of drinks to any potential candidates.

As you got closer, the bar seemed pretty full; poor guys getting shot down and plenty of girls not really sure where to start tonight sat and sipped on expensive, fruity alcohol. You scanned the bar for a free seat, and as soon as you spotted one, you couldn't have felt luckier.

You took your chance and quickly stole the seat before any other patrons decided to take a shot at the piece of beauty that sat to the left of you.

You couldn't have been happier with this. A slim, red dress that showed her curves off perfectly; long, flowing, tri-colored hair that curled at the bottom, and when you sat down, the face of an angel wearing the perfect shade of pink on her lips. You weren't about to let this one get away.

She seemed a bit occupied, looking from her drink to the girl on her left, talking about something you didn't really care to eavesdrop on. You waited for a lull in the conversation, then tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, beautiful." She turned to you with a questioning look, like she didn't expect to get hit on tonight.

"What's your name?" you let out with a confident smile; no girl could resist the pearly-whites.

"I'm P- Uh... Cadance." Her tone seemed a bit cold, but she smiled back at you anyway.

"How about I buy you and your friend a drink?"

She looked over to her friend with a smirk, then back to you. "Thanks, but w—"

"Great! Bartender, two more of whatever these fine young ladies were having."

You turned back to them, and instead of shooting you down, they both just shrugged.

"So, who's your friend?" You asked looking over at the smaller, purple-haired girl to Cadance's left.

"Her name's Twilight." Twilight gave you a timid wave, then looked away, seemingly scared to maintain eye-contact. You couldn't tell if her smile came with a blush in the dark lighting, but you could’ve probably changed that pretty soon.

"What do you girls do around here? Or does the bar just pay you to come and look pretty?"

You got a giggle out of them before they answered you; soon enough you could get them out on the dance floor. You coaxed some small-talk out of the both of them for a while, wearing them down with a couple more rounds of drinks, and even getting Twilight to talk some too. Apparently they were both government officials, or so they would have you believe. They looked at each other and giggled when they answered you, but you didn't really care either.

Cadance twirled the straw in her drink, and looked over to you with a devious smile, her face already sporting a light blush from the drinks you bought her.

"You don't really pay attention to politics much, do you?"

You laughed. "I can't say that I do. It took me a week to figure out there were two princesses after Luna returned."

They both giggled. At this point you couldn't tell if your jokes were actually funny, or if the alcohol was finally doing its thing. Honestly, you didn't care either way.

"So, how about a dance?" You looked from Cadance to Twilight, it didn't really matter who said yes.

Cadance looked to Twilight, then back to you. "I think I'll stay here and finish this one off, Twilight would love too, though." She gave you a sly smile and a wink, telling you to go for it. That's all the answer you needed.

"Barkeep! Get this fine young lady anything she wants, on me." The skinny bartender gave you a nod, then went over to ask Cadance what she wanted.

That was enough to keep the smile on Cadance's face. You got up from your spot on the bar and took Twilight's hand. She barely had time to register what Cadance had led her to before you started leading her to the dance floor.

"W-wait— Woah!"

Cadance turned around and gave you two a wink as she giggled. "Have fun you two!"

You pulled Twilight out to the middle of the dance floor. She looked around, quite confused as the pink and purple lights caressed her soft skin and purple dress. She looked almost like she had never done this before.

You moved with the heavy beat and come into time with everyone else jumping around the floor. You liked to think you were a bit better than the average person, but you didn't want to overdo it or embarrass yourself in front of Twilight.

Twilight didn't really look very comfortable though; she bobbed around timidly, trying to move away from each person who bumped into her. Obviously not very accustomed to an overpopulated dance floor. She brushed up next to you, since you were the only one she knew and felt slightly less awkward bumping in to.

"Um... I'm not really sure how to—"

"Just move to the beat, let the music take over your body," you said, trying to be somewhat insightful.

She looked up to you quizzically. "What?"

"Just do what everyone else is doing."

She seemed to understand that. She looked around and studied other people on the dance floor, mimicking their movements and swaying to the beat just like everyone else. Soon enough she adopted her own method instead of having to look to you or the other people around her to not embarrass herself.

You waited for a while for her to really get into it. Her eyes were closed and she had a blissful grin as she discovered the magic of dancing. You watched with a smile of your own as her body moved and jumped, her hair passing in waves over her shoulder as she tilted her head.

You decided to take the next step. You moved your way over to her and brushed your hands along her sides and across her hips, startling her at first. She was tipsy enough to accept your advance, though, and soon enough she wrapped her arms around your neck and looked into your eyes, biting her lip. The two of you danced in sync and you could feel her melting in your arms. Her smooth skin brushing up against your neck was enough to start your engine, and you started caressing her sides in tandem with the music, hopefully starting hers.

She seemed like she only had half an idea what she was doing, but she was eager all the same. She turned around and started grinding into you, her hips pushing against you in just the right way. You could feel your pants tightening, and you weren't entirely sure you would make it out of the club before you got to know Twilight a little better.

Quickies in the bathroom weren't near as fun as getting her back to your place, though.

You put your hands on Twilight's hips and pulled her into you, swaying with hers and rubbing your member into the cushion of her ass through your pants and her purple dress. There was no doubt she felt the sizable bulge in your pants on her ass. She looked back at you with a drunken blush and a lustful smile that told you she definitely knew what it was. You decided to push on and test how much alcohol she could handle before she let go of her lesser morals. Hopefully, that limit had already been reached.

You continued to grind your hips into hers while swaying with the beat, but now your hands played across the side of her thighs, brushing up against her dress and pulling it up slightly. The tight purple fabric settled onto her lower back, taking away a layer between her and your dick. She put a hand on yours and gripped it with anticipation. She was ready.

You contemplated asking her to go back to your place right now, but she didn't come alone. You glanced back over at Cadance to see her checking her phone and looking a bit upset. She jumped between looks of frustration and disappointment before finishing her drink and locking eyes with you instead of her phone.

A coy smile played across her face as she spotted what you and Twilight were doing. She waved off the bartender's offer for a refill and sauntered over to you two instead.

She danced her way over to you, and eyed Twilight's hiked up dress with a smile.

"Having fun?"

Twilight jumped at her voice and quickly backed away from you, trying to look like she hadn't been three layers away from doing the no-pants-dance. You were a little disappointed about the absence of the ass on your crotch, but you were also surprised she could even hear her over the music.

Twilight stopped dancing and looked down at the floor with a nervous smile and a deep blush.

"I.. uh..."

Cadance grabbed her hand and pulled the three of you closer.

"I never said you had to stop."

Twilight looked up at her cautiously for a moment, but went back to grinding on you anyway. Cadance danced beside you two, watching as you ran your hands along Twilight's thighs and the lower half of her dress.

Cadance didn't seem to want to be left out though, she danced up to your side and caressed your face with one hand and slid the other across your lower back.

"How about we go back to your place?"

You smiled down at Cadance's proposal. With both of their bodies pressed up and rubbing against you, how could you say no?

"Sounds like a plan. Follow my lead, ladies."

You started to turn to walk off the dance floor, but Twilight turned around and looked over at Cadance with a bewildered expression.

"C-Cadance? But what about Sh—"

Cadance pressed a finger to Twilight's lips.

"Shhhh. We came here to have a little fun, didn't we?"

"But—"

"Come on, Twilight, let's go."

Without waiting for her to put up anymore opposition, Cadance grabbed her hand and pulled her up to you, and pushed on your back as well, telling you to get going.

You led the girls out to your car and opened the door for them. Twilight kept trying to say something that Cadance kept cutting off, but you didn't pay much mind to them. Judging by their increasingly awkward strides and blushing faces, they'd had enough to be considered drunk.

Cadance sat in the passenger seat beside you, and she ran her eyes up and down you with a lustful look as you started the car.

Twilight spoke up from the backseat, sounding a bit worried. "S-should you be driving?"

Cadance looked back at her for a moment, seemingly to stop her from saying something, but decided not to when she heard what it was.

You adjusted the mirror to get a look of Twilight in the backseat. "I'm fine."

Surprisingly, you didn't have a single drink tonight. That wasn't what ladies’ night is about, after all. You let the ladies have the fun at the bar so you can continue that fun at your apartment.

You pulled out of the parking lot and speed towards your apartment. Not only were you in a hurry to get it on, but it seemed like Cadance was growing impatient as well. She leaned over in her seat and began rubbing her hand up your thigh, and massaging the crotch of your pants. The lustful smile and the curious hands told you how ready she was.

Twilight looked nervous in the back seat as she watched Cadance grope you, but didn't offer any objection as she started to undo the button on your pants and reach into them. You weren't entirely sure why Twilight would have any reservations about it, so you just chalked it up to her being shy.

You could hardly keep your eyes on the road as Cadance pulled your member out of your pants and started stroking it with both hands. You let out a quiet groan as she leaned over and positioned her head in your lap.

You thought briefly about pulling over to let her work, but you weren't that far away from home, and this is one thing you wanted to continue.

You could feel Cadance's breath on your head as she inched closer to it. She massaged the base with one hand, then slowly enveloped it into her mouth, tracing circles with her tongue around it. She definitely knew what she was doing. She picked up the pace and her head began to bob up and down into your lap. She coated your dick with her warm saliva and you could hear the quiet gag she made as she pushed you as far into her mouth as she could.

Just as you were about to let loose into Cadance's mouth, you pulled up to your apartment and stopped the car. You were a little disappointed that Cadance stopped once you killed the engine, but as she bit her lip and glanced playfully down at your bare cock, you knew that wouldn't be the end of it.

You zipped your pants back up and head up to your apartment on the third floor with the girls close behind you. They stayed close to you and gave you the occasional playful pinch along with a drunken giggle.

You couldn't unlock your door fast enough. With the girls impatiently waiting behind you, you finally pushed your door open and usher them in. They went straight for your bedroom, and you followed close behind.

Twilight still looked a little unsure as she glanced around your apartment and took in your decor. Cadance wasn't as hesitant though. Before you even walked through the door, Cadance pushed Twilight down onto the bed and pulled her panties off of her, dragging them over her legs and across her heels and throwing them down onto the floor without a care. Twilight looked almost petrified as she watched Cadance hike up her purple dress around her hips. She continued to push Twilight’s dress up around her curves until it came up to below her arms. With half her body exposed, she looked at Cadance hesitantly. Once she saw Cadance’s reassuring smile, she lifted her arms and allowed her to completely remove her dress from her.

Twilight still looked a little embarrassed to be out in the open like that. She sheepishly crossed her arms over her bare breasts and looked away from Cadance with a bright blush. Cadance gently eased her down until she was lying on the bed. Cadance traced her fingers down Twilight’s bare navel, eliciting a surprised gasp from her when she could tell where she was going. Cadance slowly descend around between her legs and wrapped her hands around her thighs. You could not have asked for a better night.

Twilight gasped as soon as Cadance's tongue touched her. Cadance leaned down and pulled Twilight's legs over her and began to lap away at her folds, causing Twilight to throw her head back in confused pleasure. You could tell she felt very uncomfortable having her friend go down on her, but the pleasure was keeping her objections at bay.

Cadance glanced up at you and wiggled her butt in the air a bit, telling you to get started on her. You quickly shed your pants and shirt and hop on the bed behind her. Twilight's moans and the sound of Cadance's gentle lapping at her already had you going again. You hiked up Cadance's red dress and pulled her panties down to her knees and get a look at her soaked slit. She was dripping down the side of her thighs in drunken excitement, and you didn't waste any time getting started on her.

You slid your dick across her wet folds and coated it with her essence. The smell of her sweet musk lingered in the air along with Twilight's, filling the room with the smell of their perfume and the beautiful scent of sex. Without waiting, you pushed your cock into her, and it slid right in without much resistance, letting you feel your entire length become surrounded by her soft, wet inner walls.

Cadance gasped and slowed down on Twilight for a moment when you entered her, making Twilight look down at her with lustful yearning and desperately grind her hips on her friends tongue to keep the feeling up. You start pumping into Cadance, filling the room with the sound of her muffled moans as well as Twilight's. With each thrust you pushed Cadance deeper into Twilight, making both of them increase in volume. You run your hands across Cadance's silky thighs through her dress; pushing it up a little more to reveal her toned lower back, and her ass as you could see your dick slamming into it. You trace your hands up further and caress Twilight's legs that are crossed around Cadance's neck and laying on her back.

The three of you bounced lightly with every one of your strokes, and as you caressed Twilight's smooth legs, you pulled her into Cadance a little bit for leverage as well as her own pleasure. You could tell Cadance was getting off to being sandwiched between the two of you as she moaned loudly into Twilight's mound. The vibration from her pleasured voice made Twilight throw her head back and sing her own pleasure into the room as well. With a quick shudder, Twilight came onto Cadance's mouth and chin, soaking her excitement into her face as she tensed her legs around Cadance's neck and convulsed.

Cadance sat up and let Twilight's legs fall off of her as she fell limp onto the bed, spent from her first drunken orgasm of the night. With any luck, it wouldn't be the last. Cadance leaned forward and let your dick fall out of her. The cool air of the room left you with a disappointed feeling as you missed the warm embrace of being inside her. Cadance had other plans, though; she crawled up on Twilight and gave her a quick peck on the lips, snapping her to her senses so she didn't fall asleep just yet. Twilight tasted her own fluids in the kiss and gave a slight cringe, but Cadance wouldn't have that. She stuck her tongue into Twilight's mouth and let her essence spread around both of their lips.

This was something you were going to get into. Both of the girls had their panties off and were facing you in a tangle of legs and the sweet scent of their excitement. You saunter up behind them and pressed your dick to Cadance again, only to have her jerk away and look back at you playfully.

She put a hand to your chest to stop you and let out a giggle. “Don't get ahead of yourself just yet..."

She crawled up further onto Twilight, turned around, and placed her legs on either side of her head, giving her no choice but to dive tongue first into her friend. Cadance pulled her dress off over her head, letting her long, silky hair fall over her shoulders and her shapely breasts.

Without many other options, Twilight resigned to repay Cadance for earlier. She put her hands on her hips and pulled her down onto her a little and began. Cadance closed her eyes and let out a soft "Oooh."

Cadance waved you over to her, and you complied by setting yourself in between Twilight's legs, placing your manhood right above her swollen clit. Between the little gasps of pleasure and her soft coos, Cadance leaned down and took you into her mouth again, tasting every inch of you and softly moaning as Twilight pleasured her. The sound of her voice muffled by your dick made it twitch in her mouth, causing you to let out a groan yourself.

Before you even had a chance to enjoy it, she stopped and leaned back up onto Twilight again, looking at you between bouts of pleasure. "Her turn," she let out as she leaned down again and placed her hands on either side of Twilight's pussy.

Without hesitation, you slid the head down the length of her slit until it gave way, then pushed it in as Cadance spread her apart for you. As soon as you started putting pressure into her, Twilight gripped Cadance's thighs and let out a muffled moan that cut off as she waited for you to continue. Even though you couldn't see her face under Cadance's navel, you could tell by her squirming and her hips grinding into you that she could hardly handle you inside of her.

You didn't bother to hold back once you saw how sensitive she was. She was much tighter than Cadance was, and her slick passage held your dick with just the right amount of pressure to bring you to your first orgasm. Not wanting the moment to end, you slowed down for a moment to try to hold it back. Twilight pushed back into you, yearning for the faster pace. Once you felt like you were ready again, you thrusted into her and made her yell into Cadance, making her moan and stumble a bit herself. When Cadance fell forward, she caught herself on your shoulders and pulled you into a kiss.

You played with Cadance's tongue as she moaned into your mouth. You could hear Twilight moan into Cadance as you kept driving into her. The three of you made a drunken love triangle that even the thought of would keep you company for many lonely nights to come. How you ever got two girls as beautiful as this to come home with you, let alone have sex at the same time, you would never know.

Feeling Cadance's soft skin brush up against you, and the warm embrace of Twilight's inner walls around your manhood, you could feel yourself brushing by the edge with every stroke. Not wanting to cum inside Twilight, you broke the kiss with Cadance and told her. She looked a little disappointed to have it end, but kept her sultry smile all the same as she hopped off Twilight and pushed you down onto the bed.

Cadance pulled up Twilight so that they were both hovering around your throbbing member. Twilight seemed like she could barely keep her eyes open, but Cadance led her down between your legs and positioned her against your balls. She started obediently lapping at them and Cadance opened her mouth and enveloped your cock for the third time that night.

Cadance swirled her tongue around the shaft as she descended down it quickly, drawing you even closer to orgasm. The feeling of Twilight's lethargic tongue and Cadance's skilled mouth was the most amazing combination of sexual pleasures you'd ever had. Before even a minute passed, you came into Cadance's mouth. As she felt your warm seed hit her tongue, she slowed down and gently bobbed her head against you, coaxing every bit out that she could. With each tense of your shaft, you fell deeper into sexual bliss until you finally gave her everything you had. Cadance let it slide out of her mouth and fall onto your stomach with a wet smack.

She looked at you with a full mouth and a smirk as she put a finger under Twilight's chin and brought her up to meet lips. The two shared your essence in a passionate embrace that seemed like all Twilight had the energy for. After both girls had swallowed, they fell down beside you and wrapped around you on either side.

Twilight snuggled up to you and fell asleep almost immediately. You put an arm around her while Cadance pulled the sheets over the three of you and found a spot to your right. You put an arm around her too and started to drift off as she lazily traced circles on your chest with a content smile.

With a girl on each arm and feeling sexually exhausted, you thanked whatever gods there were for tonight. Best Ladies' Night ever.

Right before you fell asleep, you looked down to Cadance as she brought her left hand to her mouth and begin to drift off. Something shiny glinted into your eye right before you fell asleep yourself.

...

Was that a wedding ring?

Until Her Husband Finds Out

View Online

The sun started to shine through your window, telling you the night is sadly over. You groggily opened your eyes and felt around your bed only to find two empty spots in disappointment. They couldn't have already left, not after how much fun you had last night. Then again, thinking about what Cadance did to Twilight, it was understandable that they might be a bit embarrassed. You rolled over to find the door to your living room open, and the voices of Cadance and Twilight resounding through it into your room.

"I can't believe you Cadance! You're my sister-in-law!" Twilight said in a harsh whisper.

Cadance sounded a little more calm about it. "Look, Twilight, I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me... I was just tipsy, and one thing led to another."

Twilight let out a shudder. "Cadance, you... we... Ugh, Just... I'll get over it, maybe. What are we going to tell Shining Armor? You cheated on him... twice!"

Uh oh. You knew that name. You've had your fair share of run-ins with the guards for various reasons that may or may not have been complete misunderstandings, but you've had enough of them to recognize the name of the captain when you hear it. Then it all came back to you: that last moment and seeing her wedding ring.

You just slept with the captain of the guards' wife... and sister. At least you lived a good life.

"I-I don't know. It's just that when he never showed up last night, and didn't even bother to text me or anything..."

"Cadance! Are you even listening to yourself? How could you do this to him?" Twilight raised her volume a bit more. You figured this was probably what she was trying to say in the car on the way over here last night, but alcohol can do some crazy things to a girl's mind, and both Twilight and Cadance were pretty crazy last night.

"I've hardly seen him over the last month! He's been all over Equestria and he hardly even tells me what for anymore. When he finally comes home he hardly talks to me, and stands me up when we make plans to go out with you. I just... I don't know, Twilight..." You can hear the crack of sadness and regret in her voice, and feel a pang of guilt yourself; though you aren't entirely sure if you can take any blame for this.

"You have to tell him the truth, Cadance. If you don't, we're both going to have to hold onto this lie and feel bad about it."

Cadance sighed. "You're right, Twilight. Wh... What if he doesn't forgive me though?" You can hear her sniff back tears. Now you felt even worse.

"Oh, Cadance. I know how much my brother loves you. I know he'll be pissed, but if you just come clean and tell him how you feel, I'm sure he can find it in his heart to forgive you."

You can hear Cadance let out a couple of choked breaths and sniffles which probably had a few tears along with them. You leaned over to see her hugging Twilight, and looking pretty pathetic.

"We should probably go. We don't need to put this off for any longer than we should."

“W-Well, what about him?” Cadance said, pointing back over to your room.

“I don’t think he needs that on his conscious, and Shining Armor definitely doesn’t need someone to take it out on. Let’s just go.”

You could hear them shuffling, so you laid back down and pretended to be asleep. You had no idea how to deal with that bombshell, so you didn't. After a minute the door opened and closed behind them, and you gathered your thoughts on how to deal with this whole mess. No answers came to you right away. This was pretty heavy, and the last thing you wanted to do was get caught in the crosshairs of the top dog of the guards.

Hopefully neither of them included your name in that little discussion. You had no idea how to manage against one of the most elite guards in Canterlot.

One thing you did know, was that you needed a drink.

________________________________________________________

You headed back to the same club, since it was the closest to your apartment. Surprisingly, they stayed open most of the day as a bar, instead of just opening at night. You were thankful for the convenience as you sat down on one of the stools and waited for the bartender. A couple of seats away were the stools you met Cadance and Twilight on. Maybe this bar wasn't the best idea.

"What'll it be, dude?" A girl with frizzy electric blue hair and deep purple eyes asked you.

You looked her over, recognizing her from last night. "Whiskey, Vinyl."

She leaned up against the bar and let out a little giggle. "It's a little early for that, don't you think?"

"Yeah, well today isn't really going very well anyway. What are you doing bartending, anyway?" You knew the DJ from being around here long enough. You got to know her through multiple attempts at taking her back to your place, but she never let you have that one.

"I can moonlight sometimes. Or sunlight might be a better term. Besides, Lucky got stabbed on the way home last night, so I gotta fill in."

You raised an eyebrow at that, but you weren't particularly surprised. The Canterlot alleyways were never very safe, especially not at three in the morning. Vinyl poured your drink and slid it over to you. You knocked it back fairly quickly and waved over for another.

Vinyl looked around the bar, and when she saw that it was empty, she sat the bottle onto the wood and stood over beside you. "So why exactly is your day sucking already? I saw who you went home with. Quite a catch, huh?"

"Which one?"

Vinyl leaned back and looked impressed. "Two in one night? And one of them was Princess Twilight? How did you manage that one?"

You smiled. If Shining Armor killed you today, at least you had a great last night. "A little smooth talking and a lot of alcohol. The only problem is the other one was a girl named Cadance."

Vinyl's impressed look quickly dissolved into shock. "What? Princess Cadance? She's married!"

Vinyl held off on the next shot while she tried to take in the situation. "Yeah, well I just found that out this morning. Hit me."

She grabbed the bottle and started to pour you another once everything sunk in. "Ouch. Well here's hoping that you don't—"

The door beside the bar slammed open, and a furious Shining Armor stomped through it, looking at every inch of the bar in white-hot fury. He looked over to see it was just you and Vinyl at the bar, and turned to both of you, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists. You jerked your head to stare off in the other direction, hoping he wouldn't know it was you. It's not like he knew your name or what you looked like... hopefully.

"You! Who did Cadance leave with last night!?" he said in a voice that promised a world of pain.

You whistled nonchalantly, hoping that maybe he would just give up and go. You hoped Vinyl would say she didn't know, but with her silence and the presence of his angered huffs lingering in the air, you started to worry. You dared to glance back over at him, but stopped halfway when you saw Vinyl pointing an accusing finger at you.

"Vinyl, what the hell?!"

"I'm not about to catch heat with the Royal Guards for you."

You looked back over at Shining Armor nervously. You could tell by his red face and his eyes that something had snapped, and all that tension was aimed directly at you.

In a desperate attempt to escape, you flipped the barstool you were sitting on over and sprinted towards the back door.

You didn't have to look back to know that he's feet away from you, with the worst intentions. You could hear his boots knock against the floor behind you at a pace much faster than yours, but you definitely knew your way around the bar better.

A couple more flipped barstools and right angle turns around the tables, and you reached the backdoor with a little space between you and your executioner. You flew out of the door as fast as you could manage, letting it hang open behind you as you make your way down the alley.

The brick walls on either side of you split up ahead into another building, making a pathway right out to the street, and hopefully to you keeping all of your teeth.

You sprinted as fast as your legs could carry you towards the bend that leads to the street, but it seemed you didn't slow down Shining Armor enough to make a clean break; right as you drew near to the edge, you heard his stomps close behind you yet again. Sadly, you didn't hold a candle to the kind of shape most of the royal guards are in.

Just as the light of the street streaked into your vision, something hit you in the back and slammed you into the wall like a freight train. With Shining Armor's shoulder keeping you against the wall, and the feeling of a couple of possibly cracked ribs, you started to think your last thoughts.

A hand grabs you by the neck and spins you around before slamming you against the wall again. Shining Armor got a couple inches away from your face and looks into your eyes with such a deep hatred that you think you might burst into flames right there.

"You think it's fun to get married girls drunk and fuck them?! You think you were just going to get away with it?! Huh?!"

He slammed you against the wall again and again for emphasis. His teeth grinded as he waits for your answer. His grip tightened around your neck, cutting off most of your voice.

"C-Come on, man. I didn't know she was m-married."

That seemed to have the opposite of the desired effect. Shining Armor only grew redder with rage, and his muscles started to clamp down onto your neck even harder.

"You didn't know that the Princess of the Crystal Kingdom was married?! You liar!"

Any second you would pass out with the way he was holding onto you. The last thing you wanted was to wake up with a couple of missing body parts and whatever else he might have had planned.

"She came onto me! I swear!" you said in a last attempt to try to get out of the situation. Shining Armor loosened his grip a little and lets you breathe, but still held you firmly in place.

Cadance must have told him the full story, because when you said that, his rage faltered a bit. It looked like some part of him knew this wasn't your fault, but he still needed someone to take it out on, and you doubt he was ever going to beat his own wife.

Shining Armor closed his eyes for a moment and looks a bit defeated at the circumstances, but immediately pushed you back up into the wall with his iron grip once again.

"I don't care how it happened. If I ever see you around her again— No, if I ever see you in Canterlot again, a couple of bruises will be the least of your worries. Got it?!"

"Yeah! Just let me—"

Shining rears back and slammed a fist right into your cheek, knocking you out cold.

________________________________________________________

"Hey!"

Your entire world was pain for a couple of agonizing seconds as your vision blurred into focus and your ears stop ringing. For a moment you think Shining Armor woke you up for another beating, but the voice calling out to you isn't his.

"Are you okay?"

The tall brick buildings came into focus around you, and the cold concrete at your back told you that you probably haven't moved since you got decked. A girl with dark purple hair and concerned eyes was kneeling over you with a hand on your chest.

"T-Twilight?" you asked as you finally recognize her.

"Yeah." She turned away, looking a little guilty. "I'm really sorry about that, my brother can be a real hot-head sometimes."

You started to say something, but the pain in your cheek and the swollen area around a seemingly missing tooth only allowed you to let out a pained groan.

You sat up and felt some blood start to drip out of your mouth. Twilight cringed, but put a hand on your shoulder in concern anyway.

She looked across your cheek and back up to your eyes again. "Oh, that looks awful."

"Yeah, well it doesn't feel that great either," you said through a slur. Each word brought a little twinge of pain as you let it out.

"Can you stand up?" You checked yourself over for any other major bodily damage, but it seems like Shining Armor restricted himself to just a single punch. You started to try to lift yourself off the ground, but Twilight came in and wrapped her arms around yours, helping you up.

"What are you doing here anyway?" You glanced over at Twilight questioningly, since she was related to Shining Armor as well. Though, he never said anything about Twilight before he knocked you out.

"Well, after Cadance told my brother about last night, he went berserk and left before either of us could stop him. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."

You rolled your eyes. She could have at least warned you, though, it wasn’t like you didn’t see it coming. "Thanks," you let out sarcastically before walking off down the alley. You had some packing to do if you wanted to keep your teeth.

"Wait!" Twilight ran up beside you and grabbed you by the arm right as you get onto the street.

"I actually did have a good time last night..." When you turned around to make eye-contact, she turned away sheepishly.

"So, uh, I hear Ponyville is nice this time of year," she says, rubbing the back of her neck and offering you a smile.

"What are yo—"

Twilight thrusted a piece of paper at you and eagerly awaited you to take it. You grabbed it and see a phone number written down.

"Give me a call sometime?" she asked with a blush. You're surprised she even worked up the nerve to find you with how timid she looks right now.

"Uh, sure." Before you know it, Twilight gave you a quick hug and was off without another word. You've never had girls actually come to you for a second date after most of your drunken one night stands, but then again, Twilight didn't really seem like the social type in the first place.

You walked back down the street and put your hands in your pockets, thinking about the future. At least now you had a place to go.

You may have had to move and avoid the Captain of Equestria's most elite guards for the rest of your life, but hey, you fucked a princess. Scratch that, two princesses.

So worth it.