The ponies we know and love aren't necessarily the ponies we know and love. Here we have my collection of interviews I managed while in Equestria.
The ponies we know and love are delightful, outstanding quadrupedal ponies in a pastel world! ...right? Maybe not. In fact, I'm here to tell you just how wrong that view is. It took me a while, but shortly after S04 premiered, I managed to make my way to Equestria. Needless to say, you've likely figured out by now that it's not all that it seems from the show we all know and love/tolerate(Look! A pun!).
My resonance stone was my only safety net to make sure that I had a way back. Unfortunately, I had to make a fail-safe for it to return me with whatever I had on me if it ever powered down. I may not ever get another chance to return, so I'll be gathering my papers and publishing the final versions of the interviews.
This story will be chapter-by-chapter. I will have the first interviews up as soon as I can, but before long, you will all decide whether or not the interviews continue. That resonance stone can be a pesky thing. I bet it pulled me out because you guys couldn't stand me being gone so long. You little rascals.
Welcome to... wait, something's not friggin right, here.
~My little pony, I used to wonder what friendship could be…~ The end song continued as the ponies let out a relieved breath in unison, the human contraption having finally gone and left them alone until the next episode.
Twilight clacked her hoof on the ground and called out, “Discord! It left! Think you could change things back now?”
“Aw, but I was just starting to enjoy seeing you ponies like this. Can’t I be the main biped for just a little while longer?” The draconequis to respond poked his head through a window, a head which promptly fell to the ground and rolled towards the other severed limbs of his form.
Discord began to put himself back together, messing up a few times before finally getting everything where it should be and stretching. Upon finishing his stretches, the manifestation of chaos looked around to see a number of expressions aimed at him, not one showing the faintest signs of amusement.
Discord sighed. “Oh, very well. Back to normal you lot go.” He snapped his fingers and the ponies, as well as spike, returned to their normal, anthropomorphic selves, each taking a few moments to stretch out.
“Thanks. Also, Twi, why the hay are we still doing this every week, anyways? Their writing is just going all over the freakin’ place. We are getting out of character just by staying in their stated characters.”
The alicorn cast a tired glance at Rainbow Dash. “I told you, we’re doing this because it’s supposedly teaching their young some form of life lessons. Maybe they’re more advanced than we give them credit for and we’re just missing the bigger picture.”
“Yeah, or maybe they just have no idea what in tarnation they’re doin’.”
Rainbow Dash made a show of looking around the town square. “Huh? Who was that? It sounds like AJ, but she has a drawl.”
The comment quickly earned the pegasus a firm jab to the chest, to which she stumbled back, holding where she was hit. “Fuck! Can’t ya take a damn joke? Sheesh!”
Applejack smirked and chuckled. “Oh, I can take a joke, but it looks like you can’t take a hit.”
“You got a cheap shot on me, bitch. You wanna throw down for real? We’ll see who can’t take a hit.”
The confrontation was cut short as a blue light flashed a few meters away. All the ponies nearby shielded their eyes until they heard two hooves landing in the direction of the flash. On instinct, a few ponies took a fighting stance, readying for what seemed an imminent ambush. Upon finally seeing the figure more clearly, the stances eased and any tension seemed to drain as pure curiosity and confusion filled the atmosphere.
Chase shook his head to clear the spots in his vision. After a few moments, he began to see somewhat clearly and immediately checked himself to make sure he was intact. “No gashes, nothing broken, nothing missing, hands, fingers, torso, arms, legs, hooves…” Chase stopped and looked down again, checking to make sure he wasn’t just seeing things.
Sure enough, his eyes weren’t deceiving him. He had hooves, and he finally took note of his coat of green hair covering him as far as he could see. Another look told him he was, indeed, still dressed as well, and in the same clothes as before.
Chase’s eyes lit up and he leapt into the air in excitement, fully expecting to catch his weight on a pair of pegasus wings, only to fall flat on his haunches with a thud. “Ah, fuck. What the Hell?” He looked and felt behind him only to find nothing but his shirt upon his back.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa! I made it to the right universe, right? I’m supposed to be a pegasus. I’ve got all the physical match-ups. I’m light, nimble, I even took that freaking weirdo's class to learn how we’d use wings if we had them in case this worked! What gives?”
“Ahem.”
Chase blinked and turned his attention towards the sound to meet three very concerned expressions on very familiar, yet foreign faces. The one to catch his attention once more spoke up.
“Um, are you okay? Did you bump your head?”
“Well, I’m not sure if that’s the case, else how could he have cast such a brilliant-looking spell, dear? Clearly something went wrong as it’s affected his mental state.”
Chase finally managed to shake off the initial shock and stood up, brushing himself off. “Ya know, you don’t have to talk about me like I’m some mental case. Yeah, I should be medicated, I should be detained, blah blah blah. I heard it all before on Earth, I’d like to not hear it here as well.”
Chase stopped, blinked, and promptly went to facepalm, only to have his hand awkwardly meet a protrusion on his forehead. He touched lightly around the base of it and sighed. Without looking up, he asked, “It’s a horn, and I’m a unicorn, right?”
“Yup.”
“And you all believe that was a spell and I’m insane, don’t you?”
There was a moment of silence, to which Chase looked up to see a few knowing smiles. These were soon joined by a nearly synchronized small chorus of “Nope.”
“Really?”
Rainbow Dash chuckled a bit, wincing slightly at her still sore chest. “Look, we’ve heard of Earth before. You seem pretty genuinely confused about what you are, so we buy that you somehow came from there.”
Chase crossed his arms, giving the best disbelieving look he could. “Right, just like in all of those stories no one likes, where every pony here accepts them with open arms and believes everything without question.”
Twilight giggled rather loudly. “Oh my gosh, you’re one of those bronies? That’s adorable!”
Chase blushed a bit at first, but soon found himself chuckling as well. “Yeah, I guess. I’m not like, obsessive like some of them, though. I watch the show and everything, I’ve written my share of fiction about it as well. What I would really like to do, though, is write a real report on all of you.”
At the sound of a report, Twilight’s ears pitched forward by second nature. “Come again? A report? What kind of report?”
Chase put a hand to his chin in thought. “Hmm… Actually, I would love to get a chance to interview all of you. I mean, I could get to know all of the real ponies behind the screen. I could take notes until the resonance stone gives out. If it lasts long enough, I should be able to even get to the ponies the show leaves in the background… Uh, that is, if you guys wouldn’t mind. Heheh.”
The ponies that were still around looked between one another and smiled softly as they gave a shrug. “I don’t see what it could hurt. I mean, you’re bound to at least do better than the humans writing the show.”
Chase smiled. He thought for a moment before his smile turned sheepish. “Uh, no chance you guys have a quill, ink, and some parchment? I kinda didn’t bring any through the portal.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. Spike shook his head and pulled out exactly what was requested. “Here ya go, uh….?”
Chase reached out to take them and chuckled slightly. “Oh, right. The name’s Chase, Chase Cosmicwing. Also, unless any of you have different names than in the show, I should know most of your names, so, that’ll speed some things along.”
“Well, I hope you can keep up.” Spike leaned in close and whispered into Chase’s ear, “Some ponies can really talk your head off if you let ‘em.”
Chase snickered and shook his head. “Well, I might need more than just one inkwell and parchment, then.”
Pinkie Pie giggled. “No you won’t silly. We’ve used that same inkwell, quill, and parchment for every writing scene in the show. It’s enchanted. The parchment makes a new page every time the old one gets full, the quill never splits or messes up, and the inkwell never runs out.”
Chase was about to speak up, but soon shook his head. “It’s Pinkie Pie, don’t question it.”
“Ooh! Hey! Who’re you gonna interview first, Chasey?”
Chase blushed. “Uh, I, I guess I’m not sure, yet. Let me think it over a bit.”
Chase double-checked to make sure he had his nearly-black mane and clothes clean. He then made sure that he had his quill, ink, and parchment. “Okay, now let’s see if those lessons worked.” Chase stopped outside of the boutique and took a deep breath. After a moment, his horn lit up and the quill and parchment floated in front of him fairly steadily.
Chase smiled and took a moment to work with some basic motions with the quill. Once he felt he could use levitation to write, he nodded to himself and went to open the door. Suddenly Sweetie Belle and Diamond Tiara walked out out, neither of them seeming to notice Chase as they waved back one last time before heading off somewhere.
Chase took mental note of this and headed inside the boutique to a bit of a surprise. “Uh, Rarity?”
Rarity looked up from her book, flicking the ash off her cigarette. She smiled at seeing Chase and beckoned him to a nearby chair. “Oh, come in, come in. Here for the interview, I take it?”
Chase smiled as well and took a seat, pulling out the inkwell and setting it where he felt it would cause the least damage if it tipped. “Of course, but why was Sweetie here? I thought she lived with her parents.”
Rarity allowed a slight smirk as she took a short drag from the cigarette and blew the smoke up, away from her guest. “She does.”
Chase’s expression turned to confusion quickly. “I, uh, I don’t think I follow. Why was she here, then?”
“They really have you all convinced against it, don’t they?”
“Convinced against what, exactly?”
“Well, I’ve already told you, she lives with her mother.”
Chase leaned forward, quickly becoming quite interested. “I hate to sound oblivious, but I hate assuming things. What are you saying, exactly?”
Rarity smiled and took her time to take another drag, letting the smoke lazily drip from her lips before turning back to Chase. “She lives with me, dear. I’m sure you’re able to piece the rest together.”
Chase sat still for a moment before sitting back in the chair. “So, let me get this straight: You’re Sweetie’s mother?”
Rarity gave a simple nod. “I am. The writers for the show didn’t need to know that my parents weren’t hers, and when they assumed she was my sister, well, I had no desire to correct them. Besides, they tossed around the ‘idea’ that I was her mother, and figured that they could do more with her as my little sister.”
“So, all of those stories about her living with you, but still being your sister--”
“Are more correct than the show, yes.”
Chase nodded and the quill leapt to life, dipping carefully in the inkwell and going to work, writing down the new information. As he did this, Rarity put out her cigarette and bookmarked her place in her book before standing and stretching.
“Do you want anything to drink, Chase?”
Chase looked up and smiled. “Oh, uh, sure. That sounds nice. Uh, would you happen to have tea?”
Rarity nodded slightly. “Of course, dear. Would you like black, green, blue, red?”
“Black tea, please. I need something to perk me up a little.”
“I will be a minute. Is that okay with you?”
“It’s fine. It’ll give me time to get everything written down and get my other questions straightened out.”
Rarity smiled and walked to the kitchen while Chase finished up writing down the interview thus far, as well as spending some time getting better used to the levitation spell.
Rarity returned with a kettle and tea set in her own magical grip. She set it down and filled both cups a centimeter short of the brim. She then took her own cup and saucer, Chase following suit with the other and taking a small sip.
“If I can buy tea this good here, I think I’ll just stay and find a job somewhere.” Chase chuckled softly and Rarity softly shook her head with a smile.
“Oh, I’m sure there’s plenty of good tea where you’re from.”
“There probably is. I just haven’t found it, yet.”
Rarity placed her fingers over her mouth and let out a light giggle. “Well, I believe you were here to ask me more than just that, were you not?”
“Right.” Chase looked over his notes and nodded when he found a suitable question to start on. “Okay, I think the first will be something the fans of the show might be interested to see along with knowing you as Sweetie’s mother. Firstly, do you know Sweetie Belle’s relationship with Diamond Tiara? Is it strictly platonic, or…?”
“Sweetie Belle is very open to me about her relationships. From what she tells me, Diamond Tiara is, in fact, her marefriend. Now, since I’m sure somewhere along the lines you’ll want my opinion of the matter: I have no qualms with anyone’s sexuality.
“So long as whoever she is with treats her well, and so long as she is open with me about everything that she deems my business to know. It seems a fair request, I believe.”
Chase nodded, now writing as he listened, now comfortable enough with his abilities to try it. A brief glance at the parchment told him he needed a bit more work, but that he was doing well enough.
“Well, it’s good to know you’re accepting of your daughter’s life and her partner. Forgive me if that term offends you. I know it can cause some problems where I’m from.”
“Not to worry, dear. I understand your meaning.”
“Good. Now, next question. How different are you in reality from the Rarity we know from the show?”
Rarity took a moment to think, taking a sip of her tea as she did. “Hmm, well, I suppose a major difference would be that I feel I’m portrayed to follow a more common ideal of your world and culture. They seem to prefer slimmer figures, whereas you can clearly tell I’m not quite as, um, petite, as they have my character in the show.”
Chase blushed a bit, finally taking notice of the fact that, contrary to his initial expectations, Rarity was rather thick from the waist down. In fact, she hardly matched the “supermodel physique” the show had, indeed, led him to believe she had.
“Uh, well, I guess you’ve got me there. Um…”
“Dear, don’t be so nervous. I know I’m carrying a little bit more weight under my waist. I’m not ashamed. After all, being ‘slim as can be’ around here isn’t exactly something seen as very attractive.”
Chase breathed a slight sigh of relief. “Well, that’s good to know. If I may, though, I would like to say that I’m glad to know you’re not like the ‘ideal’ from my world. I could never be with someone obviously lighter than me. I’d be afraid I’d break them.”
Chase took another sip of his tea and looked his notes over. “Okay, so, figure is different, what about your relationship with Applejack? You two seem to be paired up often by the fans. They probably like the difference in lifestyles and worldviews. How different are these two things, exactly?”
“Oh, Applejack and I get along quite well. In fact, we’ve been great friends for years. If it weren’t for my wish to not further complicate my darling little Belle’s life, I think I might have tried for being with her. Well, that and I’m not sure she isn’t with someone else.”
“Why do you think it would complicate Sweetie Belle’s life?”
“It would be bringing another mare into it as a parental figure, dear. I’m just not sure how she would adapt to it.”
“Well, doesn’t she know Applejack? Aren’t they at least acquaintances?”
“Well, yes, they do know each other. It wouldn’t be as though I were simply bringing a strange mare into Sweetie’s life.”
“I’m no professional, and I’m hardly one to tell you how to manage your life, but if you think it will make you happy, maybe it’s worth a try. Just food for thought.”
Rarity was quiet for a moment and took the time to finish up her tea before filling her cup once more. “I believe I’ll think about it. For now, though, is there anything else you wish to know?”
Chase looked his notes over and shrugged. “No, I guess that’s it, really. Oh! Actually, there’s one thing I want to ask you. This entire time, you’ve not said ‘darling’ once. Is that just something for the show, or do you just only say it once in a while?”
“I will say it once in a while, yes, but they blow it entirely out of proportion. I don’t think I’ve said it in reality over my whole life as much as they’ve had me say it in the show.”
Chase nodded and finished writing down what he needed to before smiling. “Well, then. That’s all. Thank you for the time. I’ll go ahead and start planning my next interview. Is there any chance I might catch Sweetie Belle without Diamond Tiara? I’d kind of like if I could keep these interviews small, you know?”
“If you manage to separate those two, let me know. I’ll buy you a small crate of tea.”
Chase chuckled and scratched the back of his head, a bit thrown off the the mane he still wasn’t quite used to, yet. “Well, two for one is pretty efficient, so I guess it’s not a total loss, huh?”
After saying his goodbyes, Chase set the inkwell in its holder and looked over his notes as he made his way to the inn he’d been allowed to stay at for the time being. He didn’t expect the town to be so hospitable, but he had no room to complain.
Right now, he had his priorities, gathering these notes and making sense of his penmanship, deciding on and preparing for the next interview, and finding some kind of job so he could properly pay for his housing. This was going to be interesting, provided his stone held out.
Chase stopped, nearly falling forward as he tried to catch his breath. “R-rainbow Dash! Your interview was, was supposed to be today.”
Rainbow Dash stopped mid-flight and looked back to Chase, still working to slow his breathing. “Sorry, dude. No can do. I’ve got to get in some more practice today.” Without giving him another chance to speak, she then raced off to wherever she intended to practice.
Chase groaned and leaned against a nearby wall to let his breathing and heart rate ease up. “That mare is going to be the freaking death of me.”
After calming his body down, Chase stood up once more and stretched a bit. “Maybe if I find another pony to interview in time, I can quickly note some questions and get one in today.” He heard his stomach growl at him. “Maybe I can just focus on finding a job so I don’t feel so bad about asking for a snack somewhere.”
“Well, I believe Sugarcube Corner is looking for waiters.”
Chase jumped a bit at the unseen voice. He turned to find its owner, and was fairly surprised at who he saw. “Trixie?”
“Yes? Was my tip of any help, um, Chase, was it?”
“Uh, yeah, yeah. Um, I guess I’m just a bit, well, I mean it’s just that I was--”
“--expecting me to talk in third person?” Trixie finished for him with an amused smile. “That bit never made much sense to me, really.”
Chase nodded, letting the gears in his head turn. He soon smiled and nodded to himself slightly. “Well, is there any chance I could get an interview with you? I’m sure everyone back home will want to know more about your real life.”
Trixie’s expression hardened fairly quickly. “Oh, you can’t get an interview with Dash, so you settle for her marefriend instead? I’m not good enough to earn my own spot in your interviews without just being convenient?”
Chase stepped back slightly. “What? N-no! That’s not at all what I meant, Trixie. I just, I, um… Wait, what?! You’re her, but I thought, what?!”
Trixie tried her best to keep her expression, but it didn’t take long for her to start laughing. “Oh, calm down. I’m just joking with you. How about you come to my place and we get on that interview? After all, we don’t want your day to be wasted, do we?”
Chase opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. After a moment of this awkward pose, he finally snapped out of his spell. “Uh, sure. If that’s okay with you.”
“It’s no problem at all. Follow me. I assume you want to take the short way?”
Chase sighed. “Yeah, I think that’d be best.”
The two unicorns soon reached a moderately sized home with a very familiar trailer off to the side. Chase took note of this and smiled at his improved penmanship with his magic. After being let inside and taking a seat in Trixie’s living room, Chase tried to think up a few good starting questions.
After a moment, though, his stomach beat him to speak up first. Chase let out a nervous chuckle. “Sorry about that. I guess I forgot I haven’t eaten. It’s always been a bit of a problem for me.”
“Let me see if I’ve got something lying around here. Are you vegan? Vegetarian? Neither?”
“I don’t want to impose, Trixie.”
“Nonsense. It’s not a problem at all. How about a carb bar? They aren’t the best tasting things around, but they definitely help me out when they need to film for a few days at a time. If nothing else, it should hold you over for a while.”
Chase began to respond, but was once again beaten to it by his stomach. “It would be nice, actually.”
“I’ll get you a couple for now, then.” Trixie walked to her kitchen, which did give Chase time to make sure he had a few good questions to ask. After a moment, she returned and handed Chase a small bag of wrapped food bars.
Chase smiled and took one out. “Thanks.” Trixie nodded and took a seat herself as Chase unwrapped part of the bar and took a bite. “Not bad. You had me expecting cardboard.”
Trixie giggled. “Not too far off, I think.”
Chase chuckled. “Well, now that that’s out of the way, how about we get to the interview?”
“Of course. What do you want to know?”
“Well, first, I want to know how much of what you said earlier was a joke. Are you really with Rainbow Dash?”
“I am. She and I have been together since the episode with that weird amulet.”
Chase nodded, his quill moving faster as he focused briefly on his writing, happy to see he’d gotten more used to this since the first interview. “Okay, so, since the one featuring the Alicorn Amulet. Funny, I could’ve sworn I played an idea board for a story involving it. Ah well, no big deal. How are things between you two?”
“Well, for one, I think they chose rather poorly as far as her element goes. Now, I’m not saying she’d ever cheat on me, no, not at all. I just think that she’s more brutally honest than anything. I’ve never heard her tell a lie once. Get cocky and promise more than she can deliver? A few times. Purposely tell even a small fib? Forget about it.”
“So, since her house is made of clouds, do you both live here, or have you not moved in?”
“We haven’t moved in together. She enjoys her house and I enjoy mine. That, and we’re not married, so neither of us really sees much need to live in the same house.”
“Well, at least you both agree. That’s a good sign for relationships. So, what’s the biggest difference between you and the you they portray in the show?”
“That’s a bit of a tough one. I suppose the biggest, aside from that I don’t actually talk in third person, would have to be that I’m not a show pony, never have been, and never will be. Close to it would probably be that I’m perfectly fine with being magically inferior to Princess Twilight.”
“Interesting, so, they kind of just plucked you up for the role of a foil?”
“I guess so. To be honest, it seemed one of their better choices for the whole plotline.”
“Well, this is all definitely very interesting. I’m just not so sure how everyone will react to this. They--”
“--love to ‘ship’ Twilight and myself. I know. Don’t worry, they’ll just call it your headcanon or something. Besides, they write fiction for the show, so it wouldn’t be a stepping block if this were some ‘official release’ so long as it wasn’t said to be part of the show.”
Chase gave a nod and made sure he had his notes caught up and in order. “I don’t seem to have anything more I can think to ask about, except maybe if you have any suggestions for getting that interview with Rainbow?”
“If I knew how to get that mare to sit still for this long, my legs would be numb and twitching for days.”
“Welp, I’m stuck with that mental image for a while now.”
“Are you complaining about it?”
“... no, no, I don’t suppose I am.”
“Well, like I said, those bars are yours, and you should try talking with the Cakes about waiting for them at Sugarcube Corner. If you keep improving so quickly with your magic, I’m sure you’ll do just fine helping them out.”
Chase blushed slightly and smiled. “Well, thanks. I’ll be sure to ask them if I can help out. Anyways, thanks for the lead and the bars. These really do hold you up pretty well. It’ll make getting along until I can get hired a bit easier.”
“Not a problem, Chase. Also, where are you staying?”
“I’m staying at the local inn. They were nice enough to let me have one of the cheapest rooms for about a week without rent so I could find a job. All of you around here are really nice. I just hate feeling like I’m bumming off of anyone.”
“Oh, don’t worry, no one thinks you’re trying to bum off of them from what I can see. Good luck with the job, by the way.”
Chase stood and stretched, floating the inkwell to its holder and stretching. “Thanks, hopefully I won’t need it, though.”
Goodbyes said and done, Chase stepped out and looked over his notes, now much neater than before. He looked up and gauged that it was a little bit past noon. “Plenty of time to drop off my notes in my room and apply for that job.”
Chase set off towards the inn as his now mostly clear head found what he thought to be the perfect way to get his interview with Rainbow Dash. “Scootaloo has to know something. Maybe she could even tell me a few things in advance so I can improve my questions. Oh, I know my interview tomorrow.”
Chase made sure his things were tucked safely away as he continued his sprint after the orange pegasus he’d been after for almost a minute now. “Damnit, Scoots, just stop flying already. I never thought I’d wish you couldn’t fly, but I’m getting close.”
After a few seconds longer, Chase turned a corner to see the pegasus land on top of a rather large cliff, apparently to stretch and rest. A short glance along the wall face before him told him that a little effort might get him up it without wasting too much time.
“Parkour training, don’t you dare fail me now. I really hope hooves don’t make this any harder, either.”
Without wasting another moment, Chase looked for the best place to start his ascent and sprinted for it. A well-timed jump and decent reflexes managed to land him with two decent holds for both hands and both hooves.
Chase breathed a sigh of relief and began his steady climb up the rock face. About the time he began nearing the summit, he looked down and sighed. “Well, at least I’m not afraid of heights.”
Upon finally pulling himself to the top, Chase got to his hooves. “Wow. You know, they should really put some st--” he stopped as he caught sight of a staircase to the bottom only a few meters away. He slumped slightly and face-palmed, mentally noting he’d at least gotten to where he could do that much correctly now.
Chase shook off the mild disappointment and embarrassment and looked around for Scootaloo. “Where did she-- There!”
On the other end of the fairly long landing, the orange pegasus ended her jog to the edge by leaping off. Chase rushed over and stopped short of the edge. “Okay, no. Think this one through. There has to be an easier way down there.”
Chase looked around quickly and noticed a small slab of wood on the ground roughly the size and shape of a snowboard. He looked to see a rather steep downward incline, but one he calculated was safe enough to make his way down. He smiled and hurried to set off, setting the wood just before the edge and jumping forward onto it, his momentum carrying the make-shift board over the edge and down the slope.
“Yes! Now we’re talking! Now I just have to-- Fuck!” Chase swerved haphazardly around a stump on the hill, nearly losing his balance and having to swerve around to keep on his board.
Chase found himself fast approaching a rock and managed to swerve out of the way again, only to find himself spinning wildly and barely holding his balance. “Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! SHIT! Why did I think this was a good idea? I have never done anything like this before in my life!”
After a moment, Chase managed to steady himself out well enough and noticed the one thing he’d missed before: a lip at the end of the incline, and long drop ahead of him. He gulped and looked around to see if there was any way he could stop in time, now feeling the seconds tick by all-too-quickly.
Before he could even think to try and slow down like any other snowboarder, Chase found himself propelled off the end of the slope and airborne. He saw the ground in front of him still far off, but approaching fast. “Just had to keep pushing your luck, didn’t you? You couldn’t just wait on her to not be doing something like this. Well, you happy, now? You’re going to fucking die!” “Damnit, stop yelling at me… me!” “You guys know we’re fucking crazy, right?” “Wow, that landing is really getting close, I’m not watching.” “No, no, no, wait! Now I can’t see either!”
Chase waited, eyes closed, for what he felt must have been a few minutes, at least. Soon, he heard light flapping of wings, followed by feeling a tug on his arms he didn’t remember before. He chanced a look at what had happened to him.
As he opened his eyes, Chase found himself being set down on the ground just beside the cliff he’d gone off of. “Let me guess, the new guy?”
Chase looked up to the voice and instantly brightened, only to visibly slump quickly afterwards. “Uh, yeah. You’re not Scootaloo, are you?”
The orange pegasus mare giggled and shook her head. “Scootaloo? Uh, no, I’m not Scoots. I’m Mary, Mary Sue. You should probably be more careful, though.”
“Yeah. Heheh. Uh, Mary, any chance you know where I could find Scootaloo? I really need to get her interview done soon.”
“Well, believe it or not, Scoots and her friends do spend a good deal of time in their tree house.”
“So, I’ll likely find all of them, then? Great. I don’t even know how I’m supposed to handle interviewing multiple peop-- er, ponies at once.”
“Hey, don’t worry so much. Just, ya know, try not to fall off of any more cliffs, okay?”
Chase chuckled slightly. “Yeah, I’ll try to manage that.”
Mary Sue smiled and flew off, back down into what seemed an endless abyss. Chase shrugged it off and looked around to get his bearings before setting off towards the CMC treehouse.
After a good hour of getting lost thanks to either having never actually seen where the treehouse is in the show, or, the far more likely, having never remembered seeing it, Chase finally found the tree-residence.
As was just his luck, the real one had a ladder, and one that was currently up and well out of his reach, along with any branches he could use to climb. “So this is just gonna be one of those days, is it? Fine. Have it your way, ponyverse, I’m getting that interview one way or another.” “Do you have any idea how crazy you sound?” “I’m not helping, you know.” “Oh, fine.” “Shut it, all of you. I’ve been through more shit today than Twilight’s character in Lesson Zero. I’m allowed to talk crazy.”
Chase looked around for anything he could use to hook onto the ladder. He was soon delighted to find a curved branch, which he was soon lifting to reach for the ladded, to no avail. This continued for a good ten minutes before he stopped, dropped the stick, and once more face-palmed.
“You’re a unicorn, now. Use the magic you’ve been practicing with.” Chase looked to the ladder and focused his magic, soon wrapping the focus of his consciousness in a field similar to the one covering his horn.
When a few decent pulls gave no real results, he took a closer look and noticed a rather simple, but apparently quite effective locking mechanism. With a bit more focus, and a little more work, the mechanism opened and the ladder slid to the ground with a light thump.
Chase smiled and nearly leapt with joy at this, but voted to hurry up the ladder and to the interview he’d nearly died trying to get. He made his way up the ladder quickly and rushed to the door. It didn’t seem to have any kind of lock on it, for which he was thankful.
Upon opening the door, Chase froze and a lewd, feminine moan rang through his ears as his cheeks lit up. Chase closed the door as quickly as he could and turned towards the ladder. “You know what? That interview can wait a few weeks, or months. Yeah, a few months. That’s fine. I don’t ne-- Fuck!”
Chase was yanked back by three very strong hands. He was pulled into the clubhouse, the door promptly shutting behind him, before being thrown onto a couch to see five angry and, again, very familiar faces, only one of which seemed a bit off from his quick, frantic glance.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t know something like that was going on up here, I swear! I won’t tell a soul. I just wanted to interview Scootaloo.”
The room was silent, and as Chase finally started to calm down, he noticed the five mares look between one another before they all bursted into laughter, strangely enough, with one voice noticeably deeper than the others.
“What’s so funny?”
The voice to answer was almost definitely that of a stallion. “Dude, the name’s Scooter, not Scootaloo. Also, chill out. We’re not gonna lynch you or somethin’.”
Finally back in his (more) observant mind, Chase noticed that Scootaloo was, in fact, a stallion, and apparently had a different name to boot. Of course, typical to his more observant mind, he continued to see what he must have missed moments ago, only to find that he’d somehow missed none of the mares or Scooter being clothed in the slightest.
Chase’s cheeks once more lit up as he quickly turned his head away. “Uh, are you, um, sure you don’t want to get dressed first?”
Sweetie Belle giggled. “You’re really not used to things here, are you?”
Chase looked to Sweetie Belle quizzically. “Come again?”
Diamond Tiara shook her head and stepped in to answer. “I’m not sure how it is where you’re from, but it’s pretty normal to be comfortable in the nude as long as you’re indoors. We don’t really approve of trouncing around the town all bare, but then, we aren’t out there.”
Chase nodded slowly, still being sure to keep his eyes looking up as much as possible without just looking at the ceiling. “So, in short, you’re not getting dressed just because I’m here, and that’s normal?”
The group gave a nod.
Chase pulled out his quill, ink, and parchment, taking note of this. “Interesting start to the interview, I suppose.”
The group perked up visibly. Apple Bloom was the first to get a word out, though. “Wait, ya mean yer here ta interview us?”
Chase finally sat up a bit. “Well, I was actually here in the hopes of interviewing Scoota-- Scooter, alone, but seeing as I’ve nearly died, gotten lost for an hour, made an idiot of myself in trying to get the ladder down, and had the manure nearly scared out of me by you lot, I’d say an interview is an interview, and I’ve earned one.”
“I can’t argue there, man.” Scooter plopped down on the couch beside chase. “So, you gonna interview us, or you wanna join us first?”
“I’m perfectly fine fully-clothed, thank you very much. I’ll not have this turn into a clop story. I’m already pushing it, even omitting what I saw earlier from my notes.”
Scooter smirked. “What all’d ya see?”
“Enough to know you really like apples.”
“Point made.”
By this point, Apple Bloom had joined Scooter and Chase on the couch, while the other mares took a seat on the couch across from them, Diamond Tiara sitting in Sweetie Belle’s lap, despite having plenty of room on the couch.
Chase nodded and looked to his notes he’d been preparing. He’d made a list for the CMC, for Sweetie and Diamond, and for Scootaloo alone. He had possible questions for every pony in the room except Silver Spoon, but he figured he could get plenty from the group to make a decent story.