Twilight has an idea. So why not talk it over with her fellow princess? Nothing to big... Right?
My First Council. That's what this is. With my fellow Princesses. That I called together. Oh, this is bad. Right? This is going to be bad isn't it? It's okay, it's okay, just breathe twilight. In and out, in and out. It's going to be okay, it will all be okay.
Twilight was quite nervous. This was going to be the first Council of Equestrias Princesses since she ascended. And she called for it. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe she could call it off...
“Twilight are you alright?” The kind voice of her teacher asked.
Twilights head snapped up from the table she was staring at to see Celestia sitting across from her. Also Luna and Cadance. Ponyfeathers, too late.
“What? Who me? Fine! I’m fine!” She smiled a bit too broadly.
“Are you sure? We, uh, I thought for sure you were trying to bore holes in the table with your eyes.” Luna added to what appeared to be becoming an impromptu therapy session.
“It’s nothing aunty Luna, Twilight’s always been that way whenever she’s overthinking.” Cadance chirped happily in.
Twilight tried her best to ignore the analyzing of her character and pull herself together.
Deep breaths, Calm down, You can do this.
“So Twilight, why did you call us all for a Council?” Celestia smiled sweetly trying to help.
“Well, it was just a silly thought really...”
“Now now Twilight, don’t sell your ideas short, especially before you even give us a chance to think it over.”
Twilight smiled, of course it will be okay, it’s just an idea, an idea I wanted to share, to see what they all thought about it. She was now calm, She could do this.
“I was looking over my calendar, working a schedule together, when it occurred to me. Well we have the Summer Sun Celebration, and by extension, many ponies associate summer with you Princess.” Twilight took note of the bemused look on Celestias face. Still can’ get used to calling her just Celestia. “So I thought since there are four of us, maybe we could each be assosiated with our own seasons. I thought maybe Fall for me because it’s kind of the twilight of the year, Winter for Luna since it’s a time of rest, and Cadance Spring since it’s a time of, um... romance.”
There was a pause. It quickly stretched into uncomfortable territory. The other three princesses shared looks between themselves.
“Wait, I get stuck with winter? When nopony wants to go outside at night? If anything I should get fall because that is when they hold Nightmare Night.” Luna protested. “Well Luna, maybe we could move Nightmare Night into winter.” Celestia reasoned.
“Nopony wants to go out in costume on a freezing night! And what of the Skimpy costumers? They would freeze! As would the Barrel of Bobbing Apples!”
“I could take winter” Cadance replied, “Most couples get romantic on those cold winter days, when they have cuddle up all close together with nothing else to do...” Cadance was shaken out of her fantasy by the looks of the others. “Um.. also Hearts and Hooves day is so close to winter, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to move it a few weeks sooner.”
“So it’s settled! Luna shall have fall, Cadance winter and twilight can have spring.” Celestia declared.
Twilights brain had shut down. This was just a little bit TOTALLY NOT what she had in mind. Maybe a new holiday, perhaps lined up with the winter solstice and the equinoxes. Not this.
“Um.. actually princess I..”
“I want Summer!” Luna declared. “It has the warmest nights and is therefore the superior time for stargazing and therefore should be mine.”
Celestia stared down at Luna with narrowing eyes. “The summer, Dear Sister, belongs to me. It has my holiday after all.”
Luna would not back down however. “Well we’ll just move it, we’ve already established that we can move holidays around, so you can take fall.”
“But ‘The Fall Sun Celebration’ just doesn’t work as well, and it loses the alliteration!”
“It loses the alliteration with celebration! It’s a C not an S!”
“It’s the sound that counts!”
“Then take spring! That has an S.”
“I want SUMMER!” Celestia roared out, not with the Royal Canterlot Voice, but pure rage as she lunged at her sister.
Twilight sat there staring in horror at the rather immature fighting, neither side using magic or tactics other than those that just seemed to make the other angrier. She heard once from Rainbow that the Griffons called it a ‘cat fight’. Looking over at Cadance for help, twilights hopes fell upon seeing that Cadance seemed to be deep in fantasy.
“Ohh! Shining! You bad colt! You deserve to be punished for that...” She tittered to herself, eyes glazed over.
Twilights mind suddenly lurched into gear. Obviously there was something exil at work here! Some dark and twisted magic, or some Zoodoo curse,maybe it was just the last straw and Celestia snapped, or even... THE TEA! Of Course! They must have all been drugged! She had to act fast before it took a hold of her too!
Thinking quickly, twilight compressed the evil beverage into a singularity, along with the unfortunate antique tea pot, and flung it at the sun with all her telekinetic might. She then proceeded to summon water from deep within the bowels of the mountain that fed the waterfalls, in the desperate hope that it would help snap them all into focus.
There was a series of startled yelps that barely registered with her. Now all she had to do was teleport the entire medical wing of the library to her so she could start searching for potential antidotes...
“TWILIGHT!” Celestia called out to her panicking student for the fifth time, now using the RCV to its fullest effect. Right next to her ear.
“What!? NO! No time! Have to start researching a possible cure!”
“Twilight. There’s no need. We were just playing with you!” Luna reassured her.
“I’m sorry twilight, we took it to far I suppose. It’s just that you gave us the perfect material for a prank, we couldn’t resist.” Celestia added with a concerned voice.
“So... So you’re not becoming a Tyrant Sun Queen, that I pushed over the edge? Or the second emergence of Nightmare Moon?”
The subdued guilty smiles of Celestia and Luna met her questions.
“Hey what about me?! I could have been becoming evil too! The Lusty Seductress Cadenza!”
There was a beat as the three other princesses all looked at Cadance.
And then they all started laughing.
“That’s a terrible villain name!” Celestia cried out.
“Oh! Oh my goodness! Tia couldn’t you just imagine!”
“Maybe I could give you a hoof with that name Cadance?” Twilight finally broke out laughing, all the nervousness, tension and adrenaline catching up to her as she lost herself to laughing at the ridiculous situation she found herself in.
Finally, as the laughter died down, Celestia sat up and tried to rebuild her regal appearance.
“Twilight, as far as topics of discussion go for Council, that wasn’t bad. But I think we’re not going to implement it. As much as we played things up, I do believe that in a few centuries time, it might work out to be divisive and a source of resentment and anger. Either among ourselves, our subjects or both. And the fact is, well, we don’t personally control each season separately do we? We each have our own domains, and we should stick to them.”
This was good, this was exactly what twilight had wanted. A discussion with definitive action taken.
“As for the Summer Sun Celebration.. the truth is I’ve been toning it down for the past few centuries to separate myself from it. In days past it was worship of me plain and simple. But I’m a princess, not a goddess, no matter how much power I have and I decided I wasn’t going to put such false hope in ponies hearts anymore.”
“Besides it inflated her ego terribly and she’d become a pain in the flank for weeks.” Luna added.
“Right, well then!” Celestia coughed into her hoof, trying to stop luna from continuing down that path, dark embarrassing secrets lay down that way... “So next order of business! How Twilight shall make amends for destroying my favorite teapot. Any suggestions?”
Greetings citizens of Equestria! Princess Twilight Sparkle here! It has recently come to my attention that an unofficial transcript of a recent Council of Equestrian Princesses has gotten into circulation. I would just like to assure the public that we princesses take our duties very seriously, however, and I'm sure you will be surprised, as was I, that 'that' was apparently the very first Council held ever. I was shocked really, but I suppose it does make sense as Princess Celestia was the only princess for a nearly a millenium, and therefore had no princesses to council with. However, we have discussed it at length and we have decided that we must not let this opportunity pass us.
What opportunity you may ask? Well as your Princesses we feel it is imperative to address your issues and we ask that you send your ideas, questions, problems, and concerns. Now normally the Solar, Lunar, and Crystal courts would address these issues in person one at a time, however this council has its advantages.
Advantage 1: All topics may be issued in anonymity. Frankly I don't see the advantage, but I'm told it's there!
Advantage 2: The collective reasoning and thoughts of all four princesses will be brought to bear on your issue! We will all contribute something to it! For even the smallest bit of insight can lead to great things.
Advantage 3: The chance to see your government in action on the issues important toyou! All transcripts will be made available to the public! Minus some editing to keep state secrets of course.
Advantage 4: The convenience of writing a letter instead of having to make the journey to The Courts!
Remember, your government can't improve without input from you: The Everypony. So everypony old or young write to us so that together we can make Equestria and The World a better place!
Also, anypony with information regarding the origins of the 'bootleg' First Council transcription, please inform the Royal Guard as soon as possible. Rewards available for credible information.
Your Princess Twilight Sparkle
Ha! See that! She signed it twice! Anyway, if you're seeing this it means my charm worked, and the princess will probably never see it! Secret Scribe Boldish here! No that's not my real name. Why Boldish? Well I'm kind of annoying a certain princess for fun, but I'm trying not to get caught either, so I figure I'll just be a bit boldish. Anyway this idea she's got here, I think it's great! send your comments and whatnot and I'll make sure you get to see what really happens up here. personally I think it gets pretty funny, not that you'd be able to tell from an 'official' transcript. Hope to hear from you soon soon! SSB
Twilight was happy, so very, very happy. She got letters! Petitions and Questions from their dear subjects had started coming in! It wasn’t the flood of issues that she had spent two weeks prepping the postal services for but, still... LETTERS! Twilight and the other princesses would be able to give their two bits on any of these weighted subjects, potentially alter entire life courses!
Squee!... she couldn’t help it she had to squee, also there was this cute little dance.. anyway! Twilight was happy when she called The CEP together.
“My fellow Princesses, thank you for coming to this the second CEP! I know you all must be as excited as me about this, and I don’t intend to disappoint! The response to my call was enthusiastic, and we have collected quite a few issues to discuss, so let’s get started!” Twilight proudly proclaimed.
There was a disturbingly familiar moment of silence and looks between the three older alicorns.
Finally, Celestia smiled sweetly at the youngest princess, and broke the silence,“Twilight, what are you talking about?”
The happiness that twilight had been feeling, threatened to crumble.”Umm, you know.. The Council, ponies problems, my letter to the public!”
“Twilight, that’s all well and good, but you forgot to tell us.” Luna replied.
Twilight stared at Luna for a moment, opened her saddlebags, and tore a scroll out. Scanning her checklist she found that there was infact one box, hidden at the bottom, that remained unchecked.“Oh.” But I checked! I triple checked! That’s why triple checks exist! So that this kind of thing doesn’t happen! I remember specifically checking it while.. oh. Oh! NO! Okay they cannot know about this! Think Twilight, think!
“Umm.. I cut down to double checks? And I’m still getting used to it?” Twilight smiled broadly.
“So you want to have another Council? Even after last time?” Cadance asked.
“Yes! Despite the ‘Teapot’ incident I felt it was a success. I have letters from ponies all over Equestria wanting to know what we think of various topics, and I’d love to try answering them with you.”
“Alright Twilight, we will give it a try.” Celestia said encouragingly.
“Yes!.. Uh I mean, thank you kindly. Alright here’s the first letter!”
Some pony's in Equestria claim that two mares can have a foal together. If this is true, does the council have any plans to discourage or encourage this happening; as well as any ways to keep stallions from becoming irrelevant?
Squee-chi
Once more silence reigned.
“... You didn’t screen these did you Twilight.” Cadance looked knowingly at her sister-in-law.
“I thought it would taint our Council with bias! I didn’t think ponies would write in about such things!”
“One of us is the embodiment of Love in Equestria. How could you have dismissed the idea?” Celestia questioned smiling.
“Well we’ll just skip this one..”
“No Twilight, you promised our subjects our insight into these issues. We cannot abandon them! We must press on through, even should the topic be awkward!” Luna Declared.
“Says ‘The Moon Maiden’” Celestia teased. “Luna, you’ve always been bashful when it has come to the ‘intimate’ topics.”
Luna sputtered a moment trying, and failing, to counter her sister. Finally, blushing deeply, she strode next to twilight. Taking her under her wing she gave the only response she could think of. “I was merely trying to help Twilight steel her nerves is all. That we might bolster each other in the midst of.. uncomfortable situations... Uh, so I was not aware of such a development, any thoughts anypony?”
Smirking at Lunas feint, Celestia explained. “Yes, I remember this being brought up in The Solar Court, however it was a long affair and I’ve forgotten much of the details. But the summary of it was that, with the proper medical procedure along with magic, two mares without a stallion involved in anyway, could produce a foal together.”
“Why would that make stallions irrelevant though?! Ugh! Some ponies! And another thing! I tell you the day ponies abandon the ‘personal touch’ is the day I do become The Lustful Seductress Cadenza! Love between two ponies(I don’t care what gender) is a beautiful thing! And nopony can tell me there will come a day when no mare will desire a good stallions company! And I’m not making much sense am I!?”
Everypony stared at Cadance. Apparently this was something she felt rather strongly about.
“Umm, anything you want to talk about Cadance?”
“Uhh... It’s just.. this has come up a few times, and I have no problem with two mares having a foal together. But then come the crazies. Talking about how I must be so happy that stallions could be made ‘obsolete’ or ‘irrelevant’ in just a few hundred years because stallions aren’t loving or something. Don’t get me wrong, mares are pretty but I prefer Shining. Oh yeah! When he and I get together..”
“And that’s enough of that! Thank you Cadance but I’d rather not hear about my brother that way! So I think we can agree with Cadance, Two mares together is fine, this will be a great advancement both medically and magically, but it doesn’t make stallions any less important as husbands, fathers, or as subjects in our society. In fact we all have males in our lives very dear to us, or at least our friends. They are hard workers, and despite what many mares may think, they are not all just overgrown colts.” Twilight finished her speech.
Then some kind of bomb materialized in front of Celestia and exploded. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Earlier...
“Come on Shining! I’m so bored and we never get to see each other! Can’t we do something fun?” Spike pleaded.
“Sorry Spike but I’ve got to check up with Hard Helm, you know, see how the new captain is doing and discussing guard stuff.” Shining explained to his young friend as he walked off toward the barracks.
Spike huffed and sulked in the other direction.
“Never get to hang with Shining, nothing to eat, nothing to do. Ugh. Worst castle visit ever.” He mumbled.
“Why, is that the sound of a bored Spike I hear?” A new voice came from around the corner of the hall spike just passed making the small dragon jump a little.
“Agh! Oh, Discord it’s just you, what are you doing?”
“Just me? Just a few weeks ago you’d be running off to little star butt if I showed up, and now I’m just another face in the day?... Oh well. At least I got something out of you, some of these ponies are so stone faced I’d swear Cely animated some statues, and believe me I know statuary.” Discord sighed, “Well, to answer your question, the same thing as you, being bored bonkers.”
“Yeah, those guards never change, I don’t get why Shining needs to check in with them when he could spend time with me.” Spike poked a claw to his chest.
The wiry draconequus quirked an eyebrow at the baby dragon, when a sudden realisation hit him in the face. Taking the paper pile that smacked his snout, entitled ‘Da Script’, Discord opened it to a random page and began to read aloud.
“Spike, I (Discord), have had the sudden realisation that I do not know you very well, and that we should get to know one another by engaging in friendly activities together, such as a board game, or perhaps an outdoor sport... Who wrote this drivel? That doesn’t sound anything like me! At least it gave me an idea. Wanna go prank Shining, Helm, and the guards?”
“Aww I don’t know, Shining’s alright, he works hard and I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Spike! How could you! I am a reformed Draconequus, any pranks would be harmless and in the friendliest of spirits! No harm or permanent effects, I promise. Please?” The chimera smiled sweetly.
Spike looked his companion in the face gauging his intent. “Nothing mean?”
“Nothing mean.”
“Nothing that lasts more than a day?”
“Well I would have gone with a week, but sure, one day at the most.”
“...Alright I’m in.”
“YES! I swear spike you won’t regret it! Now, to battle!” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Things escalated quickly.
Shining and three guards had taken defensive positions behind flipped table, shining taking pot shots with his stun spell at their attackers. Soon they were joined by a pegasus guard who came swooping dodging the cotton candy fluff balls that had immobilized three other guards already.
“Report!” Shining ordered the newest arrival. Despite the situation keeping him from more serious duties, Shining had to admit, this was fun, also good practise for the guards. Not that he would admit this to anyone, of course.
“Sir, Spike is armed with a CCC and covering for Discord who is cooking something up behind the column.”
“CCC?”
“Cotton Candy Cannon sir. Also the cooking thing is literal, there’s an oven and everything.”
Shining thought this all over. They had to move soon. If they could stop Discord before he finished cooking they could put an end to this. “Right, here’s what we do, we take the table and charge them, you two take out the cannon, my magic can’t affect it, the rest of us will disable Discord. Ready?...GO!”
On the other side.
“Discord! They’re making their move!”
“Haha! It’s done! Spike quickly fire this!” Discord tossed a basketball sized blue bomb at his small friend. At first things were rough, but now they were brothers, bonds forged in the fires of combat. Their battle against the guards had been epic, and now, his masterpiece. The Poison Joke Paper Popper(PJPP), he would have added the jalapenos but they were low on time. Their victory was assured!
Spike fumbled.
The guards dog piled them.
An errant pegasus feather tickled spikes nose.
“Ah..Ah!......CHOO!”
Enchanted dragon fire engulfed the PJPP, simultaneously lighting it and sending it on its way to Celestia.
Everyone stared at the now empty floor, then there was an explosion.
“That’s not good.” Everyone said at the same time. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Celestia sat in her standard regal pose, maybe with a bit of intimidation added, observing the perpetrators of this.. prank. Well, she sat as regally and imposingly as she could looking like a foal.
Looking her fellow princesses over, she decided they were a bit better off, especially twilight, but honestly she was a bit biased when it came to that look. Twilight looked like a copy of her, uncursed of course, and Cadance was covered in black and grey nose to tail. All of her regalia was transformed into spiky leather pieces and her eyeliner was running in a creepy crying pattern, Celestia wasn’t a fan of Cadance’s new goth(or was it emo? who cares.) look in the slightest. Yes both of the other princesses had it better, but not by much.
One thing was certain though, she wasn’t going to be the one to lead the coming conversation. She just knew that there would be a lisp, if she could even talk, and she didn’t want to have to deal with that. Catching Twilights attention, Celestia made a series of subtle head nods and gestures to indicate that she should take the lead.
“Umm, I think maybe Celestia needs to be changed. I bet you’d love the practice, right Cadance?” A tiny hoof connected with a tiny face resulting in more pain than was anticipated.
“Twiwight, I was twying to teww you to stawt the disipwanawy heawing.” Celestia explained.
“Why not me?”
Everypony looked around in confusion for the voice that spoke, but no one found anything.
“Who said that?” Twilight demanded.
“Me.”
“Me who?”
“Me Luna, who else would I be?”
Luna was not invisible, but she was less noticeable than the air no one was thinking about when breathing.
Twilight looked at Luna, this went on for a bit. Half a minute of intense staring is what it took for Twilight to see Luna. “Oh Luna. When did you get here? And why are you whispering?”
“I’ve been here the whole time. And I’m not whispering, I’m using the whole power of The Royal Canterlot Voice.” At least that’s what it seemed like someone said, I don’t know it got really hard to pay attention.
“Wait why am I staring at a corner? Right, so Shining please explain what happened.” Twilight said regaly.
“Well at approximately Fourteen Thirty Hours Discord and Spike engaged the Day Guard Barracks with a CCC(Cotton Candy Cannon), two glasses of chocolate milk, PC(Pop Corn) grenades, and a WWIAFTM(Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man), while screaming ‘opposable digits rule’. Fortunately the majority of the off guard were engaged in practice drills elsewhere. There were twelve of us when the attack began, both Slow Poke and Cold Molasses went down in seconds but then..”
“Yes, thank you very much captain, but I don’t need the play by play. Now you two. Explain yourselves!” Twilight was getting a little into this whole ‘in charge’ thing.
Both Spike and Discord hadn’t been paying much attention, being too busy with their current endeavor.
“Okay so Foalestia and Cely-Light are good, but what can we do with Cadance?” Spike questioned his partner.
“Hmm... I’ve got nothing. Isn’t that always the way? You just know we’ll think of something clever later and then it will be too late.” Discord lamented their plight while stroking his beard.
“What about me? What funny things can you do with my name.” Some voice, somewhere asked hopefully, apparently wanting to get in the fun.
“Not now See-Thru-Lulu.” I think I heard a squeal of delight but I don’t know I wasn’t paying attention, or something.
“Spike! Discord! I’m talking to you! What were you thinking when you attacked the guards and Shining.. Shining! Cadance! Stop or get a room!”
The couple disengaged from their make out session sheepishly, Shining returning to his place besides the guards lined up next to the accused.
Spike took the opportunity to work up his nerve. “We were bored! So bored! Shining was busy with the guards, and you were busy here. So we decided since we couldn’t come up here and do girly princess stuff with you, we’d have some cool guy fun with the guards and play battle.”
Twilight stared at Spike for a moment, then a sweet motherly smile shone on her face, a pretty good imitation of Celestia’s really.
“I’m sorry Spike, I didn’t consider you or Discord in this at all did I? Here, let me make it up to you.” Then, purple magic blasted their side of the room.
Both the Draconequus and the Dragon were distinctly female now, also, so were the guards.
“Now the two of you.. uh, seven of you... sorry, can enjoy a nice girly day with us at the royal spa while we get this poison joke taken care of.”
“What about me princess?” A distinctly male voice asked from one of the guards.
“Sure you can come if you like Quick Quill, a spa day should still be pretty nice even as a colt, and Shining! Cadance! Really, get a room! Also, seriously Cadance? What about that whole thing earlier about preferences?”
“Ladies, thank you for coming. I realize this council was called on short notice, but it could not wait.”
The council room had a foreboding atmosphere to it in stark contrast to its normal cozy feel. The rooms lights were low casting ominous shadows, the familiar little round tea table was replaced with a rectangular conference table, an odd box positioned at one end. Finally, and perhaps most disturbing, an odd smoke hung in the air, making the room seem downright claustrophobic.
“... Luna, it’s two in the morning, what is this about? And what are you doing?” Celestia had to will herself to be patient as she asked her questions, two AM was not a good time for her.
Luna turned to view her peers, each one disheveled in some way. Celestia’s mane hung limp, her eyes almost shut and wings sagging, Cadance had bags under her eyes and her mane up in curlers, her robe hanging open and a cup of coffee floating next to her. Twilight was.. wired, her wings seemed to be locked open, her mane sticking up at odd angles and then her eye seemed to twitch uncontrollably. Her smile was nice, a bit too wide though. Luna smiled to herself as the unanticipated side effect of her meeting seemed to be that she was the best looking of the princesses at the moment.
“This my dear sister is about the fate of Equestria, Neigh! The World! And it’s called smoking.”
“The fate of the world rests on smoking?” Cadance mumbled drowsily.
“No, I am smoking, the worlds fate, rests on us fighting aliens.” Luna replied. Seriously, why can’t ponies stay awake at night? It’s not that hard.
Twilight sprang forward triumphantly.“ALIENS I KNEW IT! THAT EXPLAINS EVERYTHING! OKAY SO AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT WAS CHANGELINGS, OR FLUTTER PONIES OR A GIANT CONSPIRACY OF SECRET SOCIETIES, BUT ALIENS EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!!! THE EVERFREE, PYRAMIDS, PINKIE, LATE BOOKS, AND WHY APPLEJACK KEEPS PIGS! I MEAN SERIOUSLY WHAT’S WITH THE PIGS? WHAT DOES SHE DO WITH THEM? NO MILK NO EGGS NO WOOL! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT? AND WHY IS THERE A STROBE LIGHT IN HERE? DID ALIENS DO THAT TOO?”
“Twilight, please not so loud, I want to be able to get back to sleep after this.” Celestia grumbled, her ears flat against her head.
“SORRY! I MEAN, SORRY I HAD ABOUT 3 CUPS OF COFFEE AND A HALF DOZEN RED MINOTAURS SO I’D BE READY FOR THIS MEETING.”
“So right aliens, they’re a problem, can we talk about this later?” Cadance asked.
Taking her co-rulers in her magic, Luna deposited them in their chairs. Not their normal comfy ones though, these were hard and uncomfortable and fifty years out of style. Taking a drag from her cigarette she gathered herself.
“Lights.”
The feeble lights that were illuminating the room went out, only to be replaced by a powerful white light lancing out from the box on the table projecting a map of Equestria on the far wall. Celestia and Cadance flinched at the sudden light changes.
“At approximately 0600 hours, June 21, 1000CR, contact with an extraterrestrial force was made here.” Luna dramatically stabbed at a forest south of Canterlot. “Local forces responded, but were quickly overwhelmed. Fortunately, a crack team of specialists were able to end this encounter peacefully, this time. But we can’t rely on luck forever. And so, I’ve taken the Initiative and have begun assembling an organization, to take Command of these Unknown threats, which we have dubbed X’s. I call it.. COMM-X!”
“... Auntie Luna wasn’t that alien you? And that “crack team’ Twilight and her friends?”
“Luna where did you even get cigarettes?”
“COMICS? LIKE SPIKES COMICS?”
“Our mission: survive, adapt, etc etc. Also comics? That is genius! We can tell the public the truth without leaving anything out, but they will think it’s all fiction! Excellent!” Luna happily exclaimed.
“Luna! Cigarettes are poison, where did you get them!?”
“ISN’T ANYPONY GOING TO ANSWER THAT PHONE? IS THAT THE PHONE? IT SOUNDS LIKE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, OR IS IT MORE OF AN AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. NO WAIT ITS EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.”
“I got them from an import store, they come from the minotaur lands. Also we’re immortal. Ha! Take that poison!”
“Yes they can’t kill you but they can still muck up your lungs well enough. Whatever I just want to get back to bed, this COMM-X sounds unnecessary, but maybe we can make it slate as a research project if you really want to do this. What is your estimated budget to start this Luna?” Celestia managed to ask, even as her head drooped.
“Start? No I called you here to tell you it is up and running.” Luna nervously smiled.
“So wait, you called us all together to tell us you were doing this COMM-X thing, but you’ve already done it?” Cadance glared at her aunt. “I’m going back to bed, good night.”
“CAN I SEE YOUR NEW BASE LUNA? I MEAN I ASSUME THERE’S A BASE, CAUSE YOU’D HAVE TO HAVE A PLACE TO COMMAND FROM OTHERWISE WHY WOULD THERE BE COMM IN THE NAME? OOOH! DO YOU THINK ALIENS ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THOSE HARD THINGS AT THE END OF THE LACES ON BOOTS?”
The sound of Twilight yammering faded off in the distance as Luna took her to her new base. Celestia was left passed out at the table.
