One born without love

by CeresBane

First published

Trixie the 69th has heard the story of her mother and her tragedy since foalhood. But now she is aware of the changeling vice that holds the New Lunar republic together, Trixie demands answers from her adoptive mother Queen Luna.

Trixie the 69th has heard the story of her mother and her tragedy. But now she is aware of the changeling vice that holds the New Lunar republic together, Trixie demands answers from her adoptive mother Queen Luna.

For the republic to know true peace and independence, she must understand her role in the grand scheme of the conspiracy.

Part of the War for Equestria group fanverse and after the events of Charity.
Group link here:
Charity's story (incomplete):

Questions to be asked.

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The capital was a city ruled in eternal night. Within the endlessly cruel tundra of this merciless land was the heart of a republic that thought itself safer in hell itself, than within the bosom of Equestria where the empire's reach could find it. And now a little older and a little wiser, Trixie the 69th understood why mere ponies like her people had prospered for so long within this hell.

Tartarus was a home of demons, and in the early days of the republic Luna had no choice but to deal with them. The changeling empire would receive a tithe of ponies every year, spiriting away whomever they wished into their hives as food. In return for this price, the republic would be protected from the demons and chaos that ravaged the land. Or rather the bestial creatures were commanded to behave by their changeling masters and prison wardens.

For all intents and purposes, Queen Luna had sold her people as cattle to a hive of voracious insectile demons so that the cattle could freely wage war with other cattle.

Trixie now saw the royal court in a new light. She now understood all too well why the Queen of the republic had so little speaking power over her own domain. There were eyes and ears everywhere and they watched the queen at every turn. In the shadows, all over the land they lurked, ever ready to destroy the fragile republic of the night. Any small excuse, any mistake or any threat or inkling of defiance and the changelings would gladly devour the herd of cattle in a feast of debauchery and sin.

But for now, the republic served it's purpose. It was a self sustaining food source so that the changelings would slowly gather strength. And someday, when they had become strong enough, sucking the life of all pony kind into submission, they would make their move and take all of Equestria.

The republic had to be saved. It's destruction would only be an inevitability if the changelings kept having their way.

"Court is adjourned honourable ponies. Her highness wishes you all a good night." Trixie finally understood why a pony of such pride as the royal herald. A pony who she liked to see as her father, bowed down so easily to such foppish bureaucrats and nobles. He hated their machinations, their passive-aggressive forcing of hooves... a straight arrowed and honourable pony broken to bowing and scraping to underhoofed bugs who were not even a fraction of decency as the supposed heads of the court. The governance of a non-ruling-sovereign republic, twisted from the ideals of its early ideas of equality, to a chain that binds the power that would free the ideals.

Trixie grimaced as they all exited, her disgust made invisible to them as she hid her face into her hat. They all left with such a jovial cheer, horrid gloating and open mocking of the heads of the court as they went. Finally, Trixie understood why a queen of such passion would be so willing to be so tame in speaking her mind. How she was so strict in raising Trixie to follow suit in the same way. As if to hide her from the ugliness of the world with the blind innocence of ignorance.

To obey, was to live Trixie knew that from foalhood. Discipline was the key to her power, to her ability and accolades and her future successes. Trixie had to live without love to serve her birth-given purpose. To live as a tool of war, for a time she thought herself to be doing for the honour of her great and powerful ancestor, and the tranquility of the republic. But in actuality, she was merely a cog for the machinations of the conspiracy of the changeling hive. The intentions of even the individual twisted to the changeling's purpose.

Queen Luna knew this was necessary. That the republic would live longer in servitude than in open defiance to an overwhelming secret superpower. For the sake of her people she willingly abandons her people. But with Trixie, why did she give up on that notion? Why did her discipline falter and gave in to the desire to give love to her? This empathy was unfair. This kindness she had given her was unfair. This loyalty in the young Trixie's heart was a pain in her being that made her die inside everyday. And now that she has become aware, the pain was on the precipice of destroying her.

The door slammed shut as the last of the dignitaries left the royal court. An exchanged look between the royal herald and Luna communicated the queen's desire to be alone with her chief advisor and court magician Trixie the 69th. But Trixie understood that this was going to be a falling out between a mother and daughter.

"I'm glad you're safely back from your journey." Luna said evenly, she couldn't bring herself to look at Trixie in the eyes. The determining glare she gave, the outrage and anger of realising your whole life was a conspiracy bearing down on Luna's guilty heart. Trixie glared with eyes that use to hold such a grim and deadly innocence. Luna had no idea what to feel about it. There was a resolve the young filly had that the queen did not want to face, and yet her heart leapt with such pride to it. She was scared however, she was scared of her own daughter that loved her so much, looking at her while wearing the broken face of one who was damaged with betrayal and lies of one of the people she trusted most.

If Luna had her way, this night would always be one more night away every single night of her immortal life.

"Mother..." Trixie's voice that use to always speak so lovingly to her was now speaking to her as if she were Twilight Sparkle, her whole life's nemesis. She was in no mood to mess around or exchange in delaying pleasantries or other small talk. With a deep breath and what dignity she could muster to hold back her tears, she faced her daughter finally. Her every will was wanting to beg for forgiveness and curse out the fate of her people, to call to arms the republic just so that they could struggle against the chains that held them... before the changelings brought forth their last moments. But with practiced discipline, Luna sat even on her throne and begged her daughter to state her business with a absently gestured hoof.

"I've learned a lot in my journey with my friends. And for the first time in my life, I can see hope for that future we both wished for. But with this journey I also learned many terrible secrets in this world." Luna nodded evenly, Trixie's own evenness more unnerving than the prospect of Luna's daughter being angry at her.

"I see..." Luna said, her face still a mask of neutrality. But in her eyes Trixie could see tears struggling to break free from the fiercely natured queen of the night.

"I've learned many truths and I, as Trixie the 69th and not as the great and powerful... I think I'm beginning to find my place in the world. My true purpose." Luna's tears finally broke with those words. She couldn't be anymore prouder of her daughter saying those words. She was finally accepting her self and her past self. She was finally understanding the lines of identity that troubled her so much.

"I want to free us from all this, mother. I want to defeat the changelings and free the republic. I want to make friends across Equestria and stop this stupid war." Trixie's determination was passionate and true while speaking evenly with the sincerity of her heart.

"But..." Her resolve began to falter, as the spectres of doubt began to show in her voice. "As I am, in the way that I know myself and my life here, I know that I am at a dead end with no means to reach my goal. Before I leave my home forever mother, I want to know one thing from you."

"Speak." Luna's heart was broken. Her daughter was growing up and she was going to follow her own path that she as her mother, cannot hope to help her with. Not until the republic was free.

"I want to know about my father. I hope that through my being as a half-breed, I can come to a better understanding with the changelings and the first step to that is knowing my place in their world." Luna understood the merit of this plan. All out war with the changelings would destroy the republic. The land of the night was barely keeping itself together against the Solar empire. If the changelings joined the fight, the republic would quickly be defeated in a war of two fronts.

"I will start from the beginning... It all started with your mother Trixie the 68th. Trixie, the loveless one."

The hero of the night

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In every generation, great heroes are born and within the republic there has always been one constant. Trixie would always be the greatest warrior in all the republic. Generations of breeding, generations of shared memories, generations of magical advancement and generations of savage war had forged the Trixie line to be a being that existed for war. Every single Trixie had held accolades that equal the various legendary heroes of the republic's history. But in recent years, it was Trixie the 68th, that demonstrated to be the most successful in the warfront.

Around the years of your conception, Trixie was among the first in centuries to fight back the legions of the day. With her masterful generalship and might she drove the Solaris back into their city states, defending their assets and lives. For the first time the surrounding cities near the capital knew eternal night and the ponies of the sun suffered in the darkness, drained of the light that gave them their strength.

However in Trixie's foresight she knew that this major victory would be short lived. Her troops has been spread far too thin to mount any real siege upon any of the cities. And if she gathered her strength to mount one, the abandoned cities would gather in strength to counter attack from behind her attacking troops. So all she could do was establish a stalemate, all the while the imperial capital gathered strength. Princess Twilight Sparkle, the great and power was readying to mount her counter offensive within the absolute burning heart of the their empire. If Trixie had her way, she would send troops to lay siege in the capital as well, but doing so would break the stalemate as she would have little troops to maintain an intimidating cordon on the surrounding cities.

Trixie was no fool, she knew to appreciate the count of her blessings.

Having no means to destroy the empire itself, Trixie aimed for capturing the ultimate goal of the war. The throne of Canterlot within the old capital of Equestria. With the enchanted power of the Canterlot throne, the coronated queen of Equestria, who wore the haloed crown of her station, had the power of absolution. The power of omnipotence and the infallible title of the new queen mother.

In the day of coronation, the blade of the king anointed both sisters with the halo of the queen mother of Equestria. This meant both were worthy of the throne, but only one was allowed to be a queen. Believed to be a test from the queen mother, the sisters declared war for that very throne. And to this very day, the war continues.

Over the eons, Canterlot has been sealed with layers upon layers of magic. It was this that made it so difficult to end the war. For every new layer undone, new ones were formed over it and because of the war to take the city, armies would work to undermine the efforts to undo the seal.

Trixie held the position at the foot of the mountain, painstakingly undoing the layers of protection magic on the old capital. Many have made it to a month or even several weeks, but it was Trixie that holds the greatest amount of time holding the city for six months.

After those six months Trixie returned home to the Capital, defeated, broken and pregnant. Returned to me safely as a gesture of good faith from a changeling prince that had claimed and broken her.


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It had been nearing a full year since the loss of the hold upon the capital. Warmistress Trixie the 68th had vanished from the siege of Canterlot after holding it for a full six months. Only slivers of information returned to the Lunar capital, mainly from a collective deserters and borderland scouts who barely escaped with their lives. For a time much of the high council believed her to be killed or had abandoned the fight based upon the phase the battle had taken.

Upon the six month mark of the siege Twilight had learned Lunarian warcraft and began cutting off supply lines from the republic to Trixie's warhost. Her other forces that were pinning down the imperial cities were quickly dispatched, as Trixie was too busy dispelling the millennia's worth of enchantments that surrounded the old capital of Canterlot. And although, the commanders Trixie assigned to each city were the best the republic could offer, but only Trixie could ever hope to match Twilight in warcraft.

With each freed city, Twilight's warhost gathered more bodies for the inevitable counter offensive. And with each new addition to the imperial army, Trixie suffered severe losses, with no means to counter herself unless she abandons any hope of finally ending the war. And with much of the main Lunar military out into imperial soil, the defences of the Lunar republic were prey to Twilight Sparkle's forces. With the forces Twilight had gathered to war, she needed only a mere fraction to fully surround Trixie and the remainder to form a rather powerful invasion force.

For Trixie it was her darkest hour. I would never have hated her for falling to cowardice, like the court thought she did. She had done the very best she could, but was dealt an unfair hand to deal with. However this was Trixie the 68th. A pony famous for her boundless tenacity. I knew for a fact that she would never abandon her ponies and her republic. She would much sooner die than do that.

But somehow I knew she was alive by merit of believing as hard as I could.

Something happened to her in Canterlot and I was adamant to know. It was a gamble but I believed Trixie was out there, alive, waiting to rescued from whatever fate she befell upon. At first several recon forces were sent to Canterlot to investigate what had transpired.

Very few returned with all that could be given was confirmation of an absolute slaughter of Trixie's forces.

A few months past. And I was leading the defense the republic, running Twilight's forces in circles and harassing them constantly, through a series of daring rearguards and hit and run tactics. Many were lost but eventually Twilight relented when she realised she was outclassed in combat when I ever walked the field to meet her.

For every attempt she tried to slaughter my ponies, I was there to defend them myself. For every clever trick she thought to counter my raids and ambushes, I was there in the front to defend whomever I could so that they may try again another day. I came to death so many times as thousands of ponies swarmed with such berserker intent to kill me. But I was not alone, my ponies were beside me and were there for me as I was there for them.

I wasn't much of a pony of particular mastery over the craft of war, nor was I particularly strong as match the best warriors of the empire. But I drew attention Twilight's power and by the immense power of a queen I made short work of her sorceries. I wasn't exactly subtle or masterful as Trixie. But by the sheer force of being whom I am, I crushed whatever elaborate magic Twilight attempted with a single overpowering will to protect.

When Twilight realised the fruitlessness of her efforts to invade an invisible republic with no village or city or town to call its own. She retreated, as to preserve her forces for another approach at a later date. As she knew she was never going to break the stalemate playing into Lunar hooves.

In my impetuous I rushed after her. Any good leader should have counted her winnings and losses and retreated back to bolster the defences even more, preparing for Twilight's inevitable retaliation. But beyond the border was Trixie and I wanted so badly to find her and if possible, bring her some kind of peace.

Little did I know. Trixie had returned on the day I crossed the border. She had returned in a bad way I was told. Fighting to stay alive so that she would see me one more time.

But by the time I was driven away from the empire with my tail between my legs, Trixie had been long gone.

Leaving only you behind to remember her by.