Trixie gets a surprise visit when a pony wearing a wedding veil teleports into her house. The pony has pre-wedding jitters and is just looking for some time to clear her head.
She also looks suspiciously like an adult version of Dinky Doo. But surely that's just a coincidence, right?
Everypony always focused on the upper echelons of the Night Court, and the shadowy games and manipulations of the lives of countless ponies that was the food and drink of the nobles that populated the government of Equestria – where a well-placed word could make careers, or end them; where favors were traded back and forth and terrible prices were paid in the name of advancement, or so the stories went.
Ponies who thought of the lower rungs of the Night Court – that was, the adjutants, the pages, the servants and the municipal representatives, and not the full landed nobles of the Court itself – usually imagined it as being nothing more than a smaller-scale version of the big game. It was the impression that most of Night Court's lesser functionaries liked to give, and it was certainly what Dame Trixie Lulamoon, Representative of the Night Court of Luna to Ponyville, had imagined.
What she had not imagined was paperwork: ceaseless, mountainous, soul-draining reality.
“Right!” she declared loudly and suddenly from her desk, causing her assistant to jump in surprise, after she realized that she had read the same paragraph on the paper in front of her no less than three times. For the life of her, she could not remember what the bill was about.
Trixie stood, a look of righteous determination on her face. “Right,” she repeated, trotting towards her office’s door. “I’m going to get oil. We’re going to burn the house down. Then we won’t have to do paperwork anymore!” She grinned at her genius plan that carried no negative consequences whatsoever.
Her assistant, Pokey Pierce regarded her with half-lidded eyes. “No,” he pointed out. “The Princess will probably make you fill out a form explaining how the Residency burned down.”
“Zut alors!” Trixie exclaimed. “You’re right, she does technically own this house, doesn’t she…”
Pokey waved his horn at Trixie’s desk. “Back to farming reports,” he commanded.
Trixie eyed him. “You can’t order me around. I’m your boss.”
Pokey stared at her. She matched the glare for several moments, but at length let out a long sigh, trudging back behind her desk, muttering something in broken Prench under her breath. “If I do set the place on fire, I’m not warning you,” she stated.
“Of course, boss,” Pokey responded, as he used his telekinesis to levitate out a notebook and mark a tally on it – that made it the ninth time this month that Trixie had proposed something drastic to get out of work. On a separate list, he marked that this was the seventh time that she had actually listened to him. According to his numbers, Trixie was actually, gradually, getting better. She really had matured after the whole incident at the Grand Galloping Gala, and shortly thereafter her trip to another world. Pokey still wasn’t sure what to make of that one.
The stallion stood himself, stretching a moment. “Tell you what,” he said. “I’ll get us some coffee. That’ll help.”
“Feu aiderait.”
“I don’t speak Prench, Trixie.”
“Ce n’est pas ma faute.”
Pokey rolled his eyes, trotting from the office, up the hall, and into Trixie’s kitchen. By now he’d learned to deal with his boss’ quirks – simply put, he wouldn’t have lasted long at all in this job without having done so. Among the quirks were her weekly decisions to burn down or otherwise abandon her job – never mind that this would simultaneously leave her homeless – and, on a note related to what he was doing at the moment, the bizarre ingredients she liked to have in her coffee: strawberry milk, cinnamon, and a pinch of lime. Although, admittedly, the cinnamon turned out to be a great idea.
Pokey let out a long sigh as he waited for the coffee to brew. At least they had finally caught up on all of Trixie’s missed paperwork from her little trip to the other Equestria, and it had been a slow week besides. Almost too slow –
Their coffee finished brewing at almost exactly the same time that there was an orange-yellow flash from down the hall, in the office.
Pokey’s eyes widened. “Trixie!” he exclaimed, galloping. “I swear to Luna if you really did set the house on fire – ”
Trixie stumbled backwards and out from the office, her own eyes wide, and clutching her hat in her mouth. She quickly put it on her head as she stared into the room. “I didn’t!” she swore. “I didn’t do anything – look!”
Pokey did, squinting against the glare. In a way, he was relieved to find a lack of fire. The swirling storm of multihued magic, which was creating a small windstorm and loosing bursts of magical lightning, was something he could have done without, however.
“What is that?” Pokey demanded.
“I don’t know!” Trixie exclaimed, horn glowing bright blue. Even as she was about to cast an identifying spell, however, the magical whirlwind drew into a tiny, quivering pinprick of light, and it seemed to take all light and sound from the room with it.
“Oh that’s not going to end well,” Trixie noted.
It didn’t. The orb exploded in a burst of arcane power that sent Trixie and Pokey both stumbling backwards against the hallway’s wall. By the time the magic and light cleared, Pokey considered himself to have been thoroughly rattled, and Trixie didn’t look any better. The two helped each other to their hooves, staring at each other for a long moment, afraid to look into the office and finding out what had been produced by the magical burst.
Finally, Trixie gulped, Pokey steeled himself, and the two turned and looked in. Staring back at them was a gray-coated unicorn mare with a blond mane and yellow eyes that were currently wide in a mixture of surprise and shock.
Also, she was wearing a wedding veil.
“Um…” she said. “Hi.”
---
My little pony, my little pony Ahh ah ah ah… My little pony – Friendship never meant that much to me My little pony – But you’re all here and now I can see Stormy weather, lots to share A musical bond, of love and care Teaching laughter, it’s an easy feat And magic makes it all complete! You have my little ponies… How’d I ever make so many true friends?
---
Trixie stared at the intruder, who had broken eye contact with her and was looking around. Trixie noted a cutie mark of five four-pointed yellow sparkles, one large one with the four smaller ones forming an almost crescent shape.
“So, um…” Trixie said, blinking a few times, as the pony continued looking around, her eyes finally settling on Trixie’s desk. “The veil intrigues me.”
The pony turned and looked at Trixie, staring uncomprehendingly, before glancing at her head. “Oh!” she said, horn glowing lavender as she removed it, holding it carefully. “I, um…it’s complicated.”
“Are you getting married?” Pokey asked.
The pony considered. “Complicated,” she repeated.
“Okay,” Trixie said. She took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. It helped.
“Who in Tartaros are you?”
Shouting helped more. The pony rocked back at Trixie’s demand, eyes fluttering rapidly. “Oh, um…” she said. “D – Dazzler! Yes. My name’s Dazzler.”
“Hello!” Trixie exclaimed, stomping forward. “Why did you teleport into my office?”
“Well, strictly speaking I didn’t teleport – ”
“Whatever!”
Dazzler blinked, as she gently set her wedding veil down on Trixie’s desk. “I didn’t mean to,” she said, holding up her hooves. “I’m – I’m from Hoofington, and I’m getting married…well, I was supposed to be getting married. It’s…complicated. Anyway, I teleported. I didn’t mean to teleport here specifically, though.” She offered a bright, innocent smile.
Trixie didn’t return it as she glared. “You got pre-wedding jitters and so teleported from another town all the way here. At random.”
Dazzler giggled a little, rubbing a hoof behind her head. “Y-yeah,” she said, eyes closed. “I…I guess when you phrase it like that, it sounds pretty unlikely.” She looked to Trixie. “Although, now that I’m here…could I talk to you, Trixie?”
Trixie took a quick step back. “How’d you know my name?” she demanded.
Dazzler bit her lip, glancing around at the room as though trying to get her bearings. “Gala…?” she asked tentatively.
Trixie tensed at that. “What about it?”
Dazzler breathed out a sigh of relief for some reason. She glanced at Trixie. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I was there, and I saw what you did. The way you and everypony else worked together and took down Zizanie…that was awesome! Scary, but awesome! I’ll remember it for the rest of my life.” She giggled again. “Trust me.”
Trixie couldn’t help herself as she puffed out her chest a little at the praise, standing up straighter. Despite her instincts, however, she made sure to keep herself on task and focus on this unicorn mare that had appeared, uninvited, in her office. “You’ll forgive me if I’m not really in a mood to answer your questions,” she said, glancing around her office, “since I suddenly find I have a lot of cleaning to do…”
“By which she means me,” Pokey said. Indeed, he had already begun to pick up the area around his desk once it was obvious that Dazzler didn’t intend the two of them any harm.
Dazzler looked around the office herself again, biting her lip. “Oh, um…” she said, closing her eyes and setting her horn glowing. “Here, let me – ”
There was a burst of magic, then suddenly, everything in the office – every loose paper, flung book, tossed trinket, fallen inkwell, indeed, even the drops of ink that had fallen out of the inkwells, came alive with bright lavender magic. Dazzler flicked her head, and suddenly the whirlwind that had brought Dazzler into the room and half-destroyed the office in the first place seemed to reverse itself. Pens and paper went sailing through the air, missing Trixie, Pokey, and Dazzler by a hair’s breadth, the former two yelping and ducking and diving out of the way, though not once did either of them actually get hit. Dazzler even improved upon the office, in that Trixie’s desk, by the time the spell ended, was neatly organized – a stack of finished papers on one end and unfinished ones on the other. The only thing out-of-place on it was Dazzler’s wedding veil.
Dazzler’s eyes fluttered open, and she let out a steady breath. “There we go!” she said, turning in place and smiling as she took in her work. “Much better!”
Some part of Trixie’s brain registered that with her desk organized, suddenly it didn’t seem like she had as much to do anymore. However, the larger part of her attention was wide-eyed focused on Dazzler, and more to the point, the sheer amount of magic that she had just casually displayed. Yes, the task it had been bent to was mundane, but that didn’t change that Dazzler had just casually re-organized an entire room without so much as breaking a sweat. Trixie had only ever seen one other unicorn with that kind of power, and Twilight Sparkle was currently under house arrest in Canterlot awaiting her formal sentencing to Ponyville’s library for community service.
“Um,” Trixie said, blinking. She grunted after a moment. “Yes. Well…um. I appreciate the help, I do. But…well, it’s the principle of the thing. Yes.”
Dazzler looked to Trixie. “Please?” she asked, eyes wide, hooves pressed together. “Please please please please please…?”
Trixie wanted to say no. She really, really, on the principle of not helping ponies who mess up her home, even if they cleaned up afterwards, wanted to say no. But looking into those wide, yellow eyes, glistening slightly as though she would break into tears without Trixie helping her…
“Okay okay okay!” Trixie said, stomping a hoof. “Fine! The Great and Powerful Dame Trixie will lend her wisdom to you! Just…stop with the eyes!”
Dazzler clapped her two front hooves together, smiling brightly. She winked at Pokey. “Works every time,” she noted.
Trixie huffed. She knew she had just been subject to the puppy-dog stare; she didn’t need it highlighted, especially seeing as even with it having been highlighted, it was unlikely she would change her mind. “What’s your question?”
Dazzler bit her lip, looking at Trixie and suddenly seeming to be very serious. Trixie looked back, shifting a little under the intensity.
“How do you know if you’re making the right decision to marry somepony?”
Trixie blinked. “What?” she demanded.
“Well, come on!” Dazzler said, throwing her hooves wide. “I was wearing a wedding veil, Trixie! What else did you think I was going to ask?”
Trixie sputtered. “Wh…why would I know the answer to that?”
“Well, you just always seem so sure…” Dazzler said, though she started a little at her own words. “I mean, that’s what I hear. And what I saw at the Gala, too. So I thought that maybe you’d know?”
Trixie stared.
“I mean, I’m not asking about the…well, honeymoon,” Dazzler said, blushing and shifting uncomfortably. Trixie, meanwhile, went white at the implication. “I can figure that part out on my own. I’m talking about the commitment…it’s huge! And I was sitting there in Hoofington thinking about how big of a change this is going to be for me…I’m going to be living the rest of my life with this stallion! I mean…we’re gonna sleep in the same bed! Wake up every morning together!” Dazzler shifted from one hoof to another, looking to Pokey. “Same question, by the way,” she said. “I’ll take any help I can get.”
“I…think the Representative is going to need some time to think this one over,” Pokey said, trotting forward and laying a hoof on Dazzler’s withers. “And…well, without knowing you, or who you’re marrying, I’m not sure I can answer that, either. That has to come from you.”
Dazzler sighed. “I know, that’s what everypony keeps telling me. But I’d appreciate input!”
“What’s his name?”
“P – um. Plum. Yes.”
“Well, you didn’t leave Plum at the altar, did you?”
Dazzler’s eyes widened, and she shook her head. “N-no! I’d never do that to him!” she exclaimed. “No, I’ve got, um…plenty of time to get back. I’m not getting married today, or tomorrow. Trust me.”
Oddly, Pokey found that he did, though he wasn’t sure why. The fact that she’d cleaned up the mess and, therefore, made his own life easier, probably helped. “Look,” he said. “Why don’t you go out for a little bit, clear your head. Ever hear of Bon Bon’s Confectionarium?” At a nod and a wry grin from Dazzler, he escorted her to the Residency’s front door. “Go there, get some sweets and just stop worrying about it for a little bit. Come back in, say, an hour or two. Trixie might have an answer for you then. But again…this is really something only you can answer.”
Dazzler chewed on her lip for a few moments as she stared out the front door, seeming unsure for some reason. “Oh, what the hay,” she decided at length, stepping outside. Her horn glowed, and a pink ribbon manifested from nothingness, weaving its way through her mane and tying itself into a bow. “Okay, I’ll be back soon.”
“Just use the door this time,” Pokey insisted. Dazzler giggled, nodding as she trotted off.
Bon Bon squinted at the coins that lay upon her countertop as she finished wrapping up the bag of sweets that the gray unicorn mare, who had introduced herself as Dazzler, was trying to buy. “These are made of gold,” she said. The coins looked newly minted, and were currently all face-down, displaying their values.
“Hmm?” Dazzler asked, looking at them. Her eyes widened as Bon Bon went to turn one over to look at its face. “Oops! Heh, sorry.” The coins disappeared, and after a moment a number of battered, older-looking silver coins appeared. “Sorry. I’ve been, um, traveling.”
Bon Bon grunted a little as she looked at the newly-appeared silver coins closely. They looked authentic enough, but she wasn’t particularly trusting of them – not when the unicorn had previously tried to pay with golden coins. “Just…give me a few moments,” she said, turning and trotting to stairs that led up to the second floor of the store. “Lyra! Honey! Could you come down here?”
Dazzler was smiling slightly when Bon Bon looked back at her. “I promise they’re real,” she said.
“Mm-hmm,” Bon Bon said, as Lyra came downstairs, her namesake instrument carried telekinetically behind her. She tapped her hooves together. “Lyra, I was wondering if you could tell me if these are real.” She tapped the silver bits on the countertop in front of her.
Lyra raised an eyebrow, horn glowing slightly as golden magic washed over the coins. “Looks like,” she said after a moment. “Why?”
“I forgot myself and tried to pay with golden bits,” Dazzler said, horn glowing as she conjured up a half-dozen gold coins for Lyra. “I’ve been traveling, and Equestria still mints gold coins for international trade.”
“Oh, neat,” Lyra said, taking one coin and inspecting it. The Equestrian seal was on one side, and the date of mint and the value of the coin on the other. Dazzler didn’t seem surprised at how casually accepting Lyra was of the color that was normally anathema within Equestria, probably due to the natural color of Lyra's magic. “How much are they worth?”
“You can exchange them inside Equestria on a coin-for-coin basis,” Dazzler remarked, nodding sagely. “But you can only use them in the exarchies, not inside Equestria, or outside of them. Their value is pegged at whatever the standard value for a gold coin is in the exarchy. It’s convenient since silver is worth so much less outside of Equestria.” She looked back to Bon Bon. “Sorry.”
Bon Bon let out a sigh. “No, it’s alright,” she said. She accepted the silver bits, put them in her drawer and hoofed over the bag of sweets that Dazzler had been trying to buy. “I’m sorry. It’s just…well, I’m sure you know that Ponyville was sort of Ground Zero for Corona’s return, and…”
Dazzler nodded. “And you were one of the ponies she kidnapped?” she asked.
Bon Bon nodded, even as Lyra extended a hoof, rubbing Bon Bon’s back. “I’m over it,” she said, though she nuzzled Lyra closely. “But…well, can you really blame me?”
Dazzler pursed her lips. “But her magic is gold,” she pointed out, nodding at Lyra.
Bon Bon blinked at that, and moved closer to Lyra. “Doesn’t count,” she noted.
Lyra chuckled, nuzzling Bon Bon closer. “We’ve known each other our whole lives,” she told Dazzler. “Or close enough, anyway. We literally can’t remember not being there for each other.” She puffed out her chest slightly. “Besides. I don’t like to brag, normally…but I’m Lyra Heartstrings, the Element of Loyalty. And I was just recently knighted. I can protect my Bonnie from anything.”
Dazzler smiled softly. “I believe that,” she said. “Really, I do. I know it’s true. I can tell.”
“Thanks,” Bon Bon said. Apart from her little faux pas, Dazzler seemed to be a very personable pony. “And enjoy your sweets!”
Dazzler nodded, lifting her bag telekinetically. She didn’t leave, however, instead sitting back on her haunches and tapping her hooves together. “Can I ask you a question? Both of you?”
“Depends on the question,” Bon Bon responded.
Dazzler considered. “How do you know if marrying somepony is a good idea?”
Lyra started at that, while Bon Bon froze a moment, before breaking away from Lyra and looking at her with a grin. “I’m not sure,” she said. “Lyra, what’s your opinion on marriage?”
Lyra stiffened. “I love marriage! I’m all for it! At the appropriate juncture!”
“And where is that?”
“Bonnie, I just want to make it big first, okay? Be hugely successful so that I can make all sorts of bits and take care of you!”
Bon Bon raised an eyebrow. “I have to be taken care of?”
Lyra put her hooves to her mouth. “N…not like…Bon Bon, you have your own business, of course you don’t need to be taken care of…”
“I think you want to head off and just party through Equestria. I’m here for you to settle down with after you’ve had your fun. Boring old Bon Bon.”
“No! That’s not true!”
“Come on, I’ve seen the way you look at Big Mac.”
Lyra stared, eyes half-lidded, at Bon Bon. “Everypony looks at Big Mac.”
Bon Bon opened her mouth for a moment, then sighed longingly. She didn't notice Dazzler fighting back a gag. “True…”
Dazzler blinked, looking between the two of them at the half-hearted fight that had seemed to end as rapidly as it had begun. “I…but I thought you two were…well…I thought you two weren't into stallions!”
Bon Bon giggled slightly. “Dazzler, please. Nopony’s that dedicated,” she said, though she came forward and nuzzled Lyra again. “I’m only teasing, Lyra.”
“I know,” Lyra said, taking a few deep breaths. “Marriage just seems like it should be…you know…icing on the cake.”
“I like cake,” Bon Bon said. She patted Lyra on the withers, then looked to Dazzler. “So…I guess to answer your question…you get married when you’re ready. When you’re in love…but just as importantly, when you’re committed to each other.” She nuzzled Lyra. “I love Lyra more than anypony else, and that’ll never change. But right now we’ve each got other things on our plates, things we’re working on. So we’re not really ready for marriage yet.”
“So basically that’s what you have to figure out,” Lyra said. “Are you ready to make whoever it is you’re considering marrying the number-one most important thing in your life? Not just to love them, but to commit to them? And are they ready to do the same?”
Dazzler looked down, thinking. “I…well, I have a lot…” she noted. “And so does he…but I don’t think any of it is more important than each other.”
“You’ll figure it out,” Lyra said. “As long as he hasn’t popped the question yet.”
Dazzler seemed to consider. “Not yet,” she said. “Not technically…argh. I’m gonna have some bon bons and go think some more.” She turned and trotted out of the store, deep in contemplation.
Lyra considered, tapping a hoof to her mouth. “Hey, she might be on to something,” she said. At a glance from Bon Bon, Lyra grinned. “About having some Bon Bons.”
Bon Bon smirked. “Bon Bons?” she asked, emphasizing the plural. “Is there somepony you need to tell me about?”
Lyra grinned playfully at the thought of multiple Bon Bons. “I wish, and I’m not even sorry,” she said, turning around and swishing her tail in Bon Bon’s face. “You still have a shop to keep open, but I’ll be upstairs…waiting.”
---
“Look out!” Scootaloo called. The gray unicorn with the bow in her hair whickered in surprise and reared back even as Scootaloo turned her scooter to try and avoid her even as she slammed on the brakes. It wasn’t quite enough, and Scootaloo and the pony she had in her wagon both went flying. Hard dirt rose swiftly to greet them, but there was a lavender flash, and the two of them bounced onto a suddenly-appeared set of pillows. They tumbled off the pillows and landed on the dirt regardless, of course, but the blow was considerably softened.
“Oh my goodness!” a voice exclaimed. “Wow, that really does look dangerous from the adult’s viewpoint…”
Scootaloo sat up, hitting her head a few times to keep her eyes from spinning. She looked to her erstwhile passenger. “You okay, Dinky?”
Dinky shook her own head to clear it, her eyes temporarily as walled as her mother’s normally were. She glanced around as the conjured pillows disappeared into lavender smoke, looking at the pony coming through the resulting residue. “Momma?” she asked.
The pony approaching did look an awful lot like Ditzy Doo, but she was a unicorn, not a pegasus, and her coat had a slight purple tinge to it. She was the same blond, bow-wearing unicorn that Scootaloo had almost plowed into. As Dinky spoke, she paused a moment, staring uncertainly at the two fillies, before sighing and trotting forward. “No, I’m not your momma,” she said. “Are you two okay?”
Scootaloo and Dinky looked each other and themselves over. “I’m fine!” Scootaloo said, tapping her helmet. “Safety first!”
“Helmets don’t protect flanks, though,” Dinky moaned, showing off her side. She had a shallow scrape, about three inches long and streaked with red, though hardly bleeding and looking more ugly than serious. There was bits of dirt inside of it as well. She gingerly touched it, and winced. “Ow…Momma isn’t gonna like this…”
“Oh, we can’t have that,” the adult unicorn said as her horn glowed slightly. “Can I try something?” At a nod from Dinky, the scrape was covered in a lavender aura, and a moment later all the dirt and small stones that had worked their way into it were pulled out. Dinky winced a little, and a little more when the wound seemed to recede on itself, though only up to a point. It ended up being only about half an inch long. “There we go,” the adult said. “That’s about as good as my healing magic can make it. I’m still learning.”
“That’s okay!” Dinky exclaimed, spinning in place as she inspected her flank. It didn't seem to hurt much at all anymore. “Thanks!
“Do me! Do me!” Scootaloo insisted.
The adult looked Scootaloo over. “But…you don’t have a scrape,” she pointed out.
Scootaloo looked herself over again, then sighed. “Yeah, you’re right,” she admitted. “Thanks for the save, though. And fixing Dinky. That’s her, by the way. I’m Scootaloo.”
“Yeah,” Dinky agreed, nodding. “My Momma already doesn’t really like how fast Scootaloo goes sometimes. It’s fun, but we nearly plowed straight into you.”
“But it’s fun,” Scootaloo emphasized, raising a hoof. “Rainbow Dash never slows down!”
“Rainbow Dash can fly,” Dinky pointed out.
“I’ll be able to someday, too!” Scootaloo said, stamping her hoof.
“I’m sure you will,” the adult agreed. “My name’s Dazzler.” She looked at Dinky. “You should get a bandage for that scrape. Is your home nearby?”
Dinky glanced around. “Um, yeah,” she said. “But I don’t want Scootaloo to get in trouble…oh, I know!” she looked to Scootaloo. “Sparkler’s store is near, too! I bet she has a bandage.”
“Sparkler?” Dazzler asked, then smiled. “Who’s that?”
“My sister,” Dinky said proudly. “Well, half-sister, but I love her twice as much to make up for it!”
Scootaloo made a show of gagging, though Dazzler smiled. “Oh wow,” Dazzler said, giggling. “Wow, you really are adorable. Well, come on, let’s head over there. I’ll come with you and explain what happened.”
“Thanks!” Scootaloo said, smiling as she picked up her scooter and double-checked the cable that connected it to the red wagon that Dinky hopped into. The three set off, Scootaloo moving at a much more measured pace in order to not leave Dazzler behind. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around town before…”
“I’m just visiting,” Dazzler said. “It’s…kind of complicated. But I won’t be here long.”
“I like your cutie mark,” Dinky said. “What’s it for?”
Dazzler chuckled. “I think I’ll leave that as a surprise,” she said wryly, “but thank you, Dinky.”
Scootaloo frowned at the cutie mark. It was just five four-pointed starbursts, nothing really awesome. “I can’t wait for my cutie mark,” she said. “I want it to be purple lightning, like my mane, shooting out of a thundercloud! With wings on the cloud. Bat wings! Like the Night Guard!”
Dazzler smiled. “What will your special talent be, with a cutie mark like that?” she asked.
Scootaloo frowned. “Um…I dunno. But I bet it’ll be awesome! Something cool and exciting and extreme and – hey! Why are you laughing?”
Dazzler put a hoof to her mouth. “Don’t worry,” she said. “Even if your special talent turns out to be something…unexpected…I’m sure you’re the most extreme pony I’ll ever know.”
Scootaloo frowned. “I don’t know if that’s good or not,” she said, eyeing Dazzler.
“Well, I meant it in a good way,” she said, as she considered the two of them. “Say…and I know this is kind of coming out of left-field, so you can feel free to not answer this…but say that you were getting married – ”
“Ugh!” Scootaloo exclaimed.
“Well, that’s one answer,” Dazzler noted, looking at Dinky. “So say that you were getting married…well, okay, me, I’m asking about me. I’m getting married. But how do I know if it’s the right decision?”
Dinky blinked a few times. “Do you love the pony?”
Dazzler nodded. “Yes, definitely.”
“Then marry him.”
“But it’s a big commitment. A huge commitment. A lifelong commitment. That’s…kind of scary.”
“Well…then don’t marry him.”
“But he’s already popped the question! And I already said yes, and we're getting married in a week!”
“Then marry him!” Dinky said, eyes wide. “You can’t just gallop out and leave him hanging!”
“But I mean, what if that’s the only reason I’m getting married?” Dazzler asked. “Because it’s expected? Because we’ve gone through all the motions already and it’s too late to back out?”
Dinky put her hooves to her mouth. “That sounds terrible! You can’t marry him if that’s the only reason!”
“But it’s not the only reason!” Dazzler said. “He’s cute and he makes me laugh and he’s always there for me and his special talent is exploration, he’s even the master and commander of his own ship, and our honeymoon is going to take us around the world to Hind and the Qilin Empire and Zebrica…”
“Then marry him! Or…” Dinky’s eyes were wide. “Oh…I don’t know! I’m only a foal! What are you asking me for?”
Dazzler stared down at Dinky, then sighed. “I’m sorry,” she said, head hanging in shame. “I’m really nervous, and I thought talking to myself might help – ”
“My dad says that’s actually a bad thing,” Scootaloo piped in.
Dazzler blinked, then laughed. “R-right,” she said, looking to Dinky, who’s eyes were darting back and forth as she tried to sort out the conundrum that had been set before her. “Well…I guess you’re too young to have the answers. And actually now that I think about it I’m wondering if maybe the reason why I’m so unsure is because when I was a foal I met some mare who started asking me all these questions about marriage and filled me with doubts about it, and I just don’t remember meeting her.”
Scootaloo glanced at Dazzler as the three of them stopped in front of Sparkler’s jewelry store.. “You’re weird,” she said.
Dazzler nodded, not denying it at all. She looked to Dinky. “Just…forget I ever asked,” she instructed. “Don’t worry about it…you’re too young to worry about these kinds of questions.”
Dinky nodded. “Okay,” she said, taking in a deep breath and then letting it out, as though exhaling all her concerns and worry. She brightened almost immediately thereafter. “Want to meet my sister?”
---
Sparkler raised an eyebrow at the lavender-tinted gray unicorn that trotted in to her store with Dinky and Scootaloo. She looked decidedly familiar. “Hello,” she said. “Can I help you?”
The unicorn smiled softly, waving a hoof at Dinky and Scootaloo. “I’m afraid I might have accidentally caused Scootaloo, here, to nearly crash into me,” she said. “Totally my fault, but Dinky has a little scrape. I’m Dazzler, by the way.”
Dinky showed off the scrape. It was fairly small, would probably heal up in a matter of days. Still, better safe than sorry. She nodded at Dinky and Scootaloo. “Upstairs, in the bathroom, you’ll find a first-aid kit,” she told them. The two nodded, and ran off. Sparkler’s eyebrow arched again. “So when you say totally my fault…”
“Dinky doesn’t want Scootaloo getting in trouble with her mother,” Dazzler said. “And it is at least a little my fault, and it’s only a small scrape…so just, if Ditzy asks, blame it all on me.”
Sparkler considered, before nodding. “Luna knows that I covered for my friends when I was a foal…”
Dazzler nodded, glancing around the store, smiling wistfully. “It’s kind of amazing, how little changes over time,” she said, though she seemed to catch herself. “Foals covering for each other, I mean. And sisters.”
Sparkler smiled. “It’s a new thing for me,” she admitted, looking Dazzler up and down. “I’m sorry, but – we’ve met. I know we’ve met. I’ve got a good eye, it comes with being a jeweler. You look…really familiar…”
Dazzler considered. “Um…” she said. “I…went to Luna’s Magic Academy. Maybe we saw each other there?”
“What did you study?”
Dazzler smiled sheepishly. “Everything,” she admitted. “I had a pair of really good tutors when I was growing up, and my special talent is basically magic itself.” She bit her lip in thought. “I graduated two years ago.”
“Hmm,” Sparkler said. “I graduated last winter. Must have seen you around school…it’s weird, though, ‘cause it’s like I know you for more than that…”
Dazzler considered. “Well, um…” she said, considering, then brightened. “Well, my coat and mane and eyes are all pretty much identical to Dinky’s.” She smiled brightly. “Maybe I’m an older version of her! Or at least that’s what you’re seeing.”
There was a click in Sparkler’s mind as that all settled into place. “Oh wow,” she remarked, looking Dazzler up and down again. “Wow, you’re right. You do look like an older Dinky.”
Dazzler nodded, as she looked around the store, her eyes finally settling on a necklace made from comparatively thick, silver chains, with rubies set amongst them. “Hmm,” she said, examining it. “Very pirate-y,”
Sparkler nodded, trotting over to it and using her horn to take the necklace out and set it on the counter, wondering if maybe she could make a sale as well as an acquaintance. “I guess it does look like something from the Barbarneigh Coast,” she remarked. “I actually made it based off of some antelope designs I saw in pictures once.” She didn’t mention that the antelope jewelry had been gold. No need to scare away a customer. “Do you like it?”
Dazzler considered. “Well, it wouldn’t be for me,” she said. “It’d be for my fiancé. He’s…got a thing for pirates, and boats, and the sea. Our honeymoon is gonna be a round-the-world cruise in his ship.”
Sparkler nodded, brows raising. “Sounds like quite a catch,”
“I’m hoping so,” Dazzler said, as she considered, pressing her lips together and glancing at Sparkler. “I’m…I’m sorry if this is a personal question…but I’ve been asking just about everypony I’ve met today. How do you know if you’re ready to marry somepony?”
Sparkler blinked a few times, considering as she looked down at the necklace she’d set on the countertop. She’d never been married, but the question did bring a rather personal subject to the fore for her. “Um,” she said. “I’m not really sure…do you love him?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then get married.” She looked at Dazzler, even as she imagined her father, her mother, and their complete inability to get along. Her parents were now separated, finalizing their divorce in fact, a process they had avoided and dragged out for years. “But…I think this is the most important thing. When you marry somepony…if it’s not working out. If it turns out you can’t live together…don’t be afraid to break up if it would make things better. Even if you have – especially if you have foals. Two divorced parents that can get along as long as they aren’t living together is way better than two married parents that can’t stand to be around each other. And you don’t want to stay together for so long that you start to hate your husband…or that he starts to hate you.”
Dazzler nodded, grimacing. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, looking ashamed. “I…I shouldn’t have asked, it’s still too close a subject for you…”
Sparkler shook her head vehemently. “No, it’s good that you did,” she said, reaching across the counter and putting a hoof on Dazzler’s shoulder. “It’s better that you heard that. Better for you, better for your fiancé, better for any foals you might have…don’t get married unless you’re ready. But don’t feel like you’re trapped in it once you are. That’s my advice.”
Dazzler smiled, patting Sparkler’s hoof with one of her own. “It’s good advice,” she admitted. “I don’t think me and my stallion will be like that…but I guess your parents didn’t either.”
Sparkler bit her lip. “I’m sorry…I just made you doubt getting married at all, didn’t I?”
Dazzler shook her head. “No, I’ve kind of been going around Ponyville all day and trying to figure stuff out. Better I do this today then on the wedding day, right?”
Sparkler nodded as she telekinetically grasped the necklace she had been presenting to Dazzler, moving to put it back into its case. “I guess you won’t want this unless you’re sure – ”
“No, hang on,” Dazzler said, holding up a hoof. Her own horn glowed lavender – almost the same shade as Sparkler’s, actually – and she conjured up a bag of bits, smiling. “I know I love him. Even if the marriage doesn’t work, he’d love this – ”
There was a crunching sound from somewhere upstairs, not very loud, but certainly attention-grabbing. Sparkler and Dazzler both winced, glancing at the stairs that lead up to Sparkler’s home. Scootaloo and Dinky came downstairs, holding the remains of a first-aid kit between them in their mouths, both with wide eyes, though Dinky’s were additionally tearing up. “I’m sorry!” Dinky exclaimed as she set down her half. “I was getting the kit and it was where you said it was and Scootaloo was gonna grab it but then I said that I’d get it with my telekinesis ‘cause I need the practice, but I grabbed it too hard again – ”
“It’s not her fault, though,” Scootaloo insisted. “She was trying really hard to be careful and it was an accident and it’s only the case, everything inside seems okay – ”
“Hey, hey,” Sparkler said soothingly, trotting over to her half-sister and nuzzling her. She looked over the first aid kit’s remainders. None of the bottles or bandages that had been inside looked damaged. “It’s just a case, it’s fine, Dinky.” She glanced at Dazzler, smiling slightly. “Dinky sometimes grabs things too hard with her telekinesis. I think it’s a family thing, ‘cause I have the same problem. That’s probably half the reason I’m a jeweler – you can’t crush gemstones.”
“It’s not that uncommon,” Dazzler assured Dinky. Dinky smiled at her and her half-sister’s reassurance, as Sparkler levitated a bandage over and carefully placed it over Dinky’s scrape. She floated the remainder of the kit to her office in the back of the store, where it could stay until she found a new case to keep it all in.
“There we go,” Sparkler said. “Now you two get going, I’ve got a sale to make. What are you doing today, anyway?”
“Going to the Castle Tree!” Scootaloo said, hopping and wings buzzing a little at her exclamation. She looked to Dazzler. “It’s this big tree at the edge of Whitetail Wood. It’s real easy to climb and the branches and leaves have all grown together, so it’s kind of like a fort. We’ve got practically every foal in Ponyville getting together. We’re gonna break up into teams and one team’s defending, and the other’s attacking!”
“Hmm,” Dazzler said thoughtfully, tapping one hoof to her mouth. “That sounds like a lot of fun. And not something you’ll want to be late for!”
“We've got time,” Dinky assured Dazzler, glancing at the store’s clock. “We still have to pick up Sweetie Bell and Snips and Snails, though. We should get going!”
“Right!” Scootaloo declared, and the two foals set off, waving goodbye. Sparkler and Dazzler both laughed as they left. “I wish I was that young again,” Sparkler said, as she returned to the necklace. “So…do you want this gift wrapped?”
“Please,” Dazzler confirmed with a nod. “Then…there’s one pony I need to see, as long as I’m here.” She grimaced, glancing at Sparkler. “This is gonna be a weird question, but…do you have any gold jewelry?”
Far, far to the north, in the ofttimes volcanic mountain range that served as a buffer zone between Equestria and the various southerly Griffin Kingdoms, lay the dormant but by no means dead volcano in which Celestia, the rightful ruler of all ponydom, had made her temporary home.
Carved from obsidian and laced with veins of gold, the palace that Celestia had ordered her minions to construct sat suspended by three mighty bridges in the crater of a volcano. It was an ideal hiding place for her, as few ponies who would seek her out would ever think to check within a burning caldera. Not that Celestia was hiding. She was biding her time. Planning. Preparing.
A thousand feet beneath the rough palace – rough by Celestia’s standards, anyway – was a vast pool of magma, hundreds of feet wide but stretching for only a dragon knew how deep down into the bowels of the earth. One such dragon rose from the pool, an ancient and powerful example of his kind. Solrathicharnon’s mighty wings took him up from where he had bathed and harvested crystals for a snack, and down onto the suspended palace’s entrance. Solrathicharnon did not particularly want to serve Celestia – or Corona, as she was more rightly known even if she herself hated the name – but at the moment, it suited his purposes, as Corona was a foe of Luna, the one being he hated most in the world. He was very old, even by dragon standards, and though he had lost his sight to time, he had gained patience.
He had, additionally, gained exceptional hearing. Thus, even over the sound of the volcano beneath him, the bubbling and roiling of the magma therein and the hissing and popping of the very air itself over its surface, Solrathicharnon heard the clip-clop-clip-clop of an approaching pony’s hooves across the bridge. It was not, however, a gait he recognized – few ponies came before the Tyrant Sun, and Solrathicharnon had learned the sound of all their trots.
Solrathicharnon turned, growling in challenge as he exhaled smoke. He may not have been able to see the pony approaching, but he could hear it well enough to gaze at it. Surprisingly, it had crossed the bridge fully halfway before slowing, apparently not concerned by his presence until he had made his awareness of it known.
“I could hear you, pony,” Solrathicharnon said, dropping onto all four limbs and spreading his wings wide as he glared at where it was – no need to advertise that he was blind, after all. “I could smell you as you approached.” This, too, was a lie, as the heat of the air made such impossible. Again, though, there was no reason to let this interloper know. “Why have you come here?”
There was a moment of silence, then the sound of one hoof scraping on the stone bridge. “My name is Dazzler,” a female pony voice said. “I seek an audience with Celestia. I…have a question for her.”
“Oh?” Solrathicharnon asked. “And what makes you think that Celestia has any interest in answering?”
“She might not,” Dazzler said. “But it doesn’t hurt to try.”
“It might,” the dragon said with a chuckle. He took a step forward. “Suppose I say ‘no.’ What then?”
“I’d leave.”
“Ah, but here we have a problem,” Solraicharnon pointed out, grinning wickedly, “because you have found this place, this volcano lair of Celestia. You can’t simply walk away from that, little pony.”
Dazzler was silent for a moment. “And I couldn’t teleport,” she said. Suddenly, in Solrathicharnon’s mind, there was a burst of light. The ancient dragon couldn’t see – not normally, anyway. But he could see magic. Before him, the unicorn lit up, piercing the blackness that his eyes normally presented him with. She glowed lavender, bright and strong – a powerful caster, this one. “This entire volcano has a teleportation-dampening field. You can teleport in…but not out.”
“Indeed,” Solrathicharnon observed. “So, then, my very little pony. Where does that leave you?”
Dazzler was once again silent. Her magical aura didn’t disappear in Solrathicharnon’s mind – she was still examining the teleportation-dampening field. “Stuck,” she said at length, bowing low. “And at your mercy, great dragon. I can only humbly beg you let me pass.”
Solrathicharnon smiled brightly. Patience or no, accepting his subservient role to the alicorn or not, it was good to see a mortal being bowing and scraping before him once again. It amused him. Dazzler amused him, and put him in a altruistic mood. “I am feeling beneficent today,” he said, drawing back from Dazzler and using one claw to open the gate into Celestia’s palace. “You may come before Celestia. But I do not guarantee anything after that, little pony.”
“I understand,” Dazzler said, rising from her bow and trotting forward, following Solrathicharnon in.
---
So rough was the palace that it didn’t even have a proper antechamber before the throne room. In point of fact, the first floor of the palace essentially was the throne room, a grand hall supported by gold-and-obsidian pillars that led up to a raised dais, upon which sat Celestia’s golden throne. Surrounding the throne was a massive hoard of gold and gemstones, one she had taken by right of conquest from a dragon - not Solrath, his horde was elsewhere, and, he believed, hidden - and which she had used to fund both the construction of her palace and her recruiting efforts for her war with her sister.
Her eyes had been closed in contemplation as she sat upon the throne, dreaming up plans and schemes as she focused on recovering the full extent of her power. It was nearly hers once again after her disastrous encounter with the corrupted Elements of Harmony, and soon she would be ready to act, to strike.
Her eyes opened when she heard Solrath’s approach, as well as the clip-clopping of an equine's hooves. She had expected to see Zecora, but instead found herself looking at a gray unicorn pony with sparkles for a cutie mark, trotting forward with determination that almost masked her slight fear.
Celestia did not like unexpected visitors. She stood, glaring at Solrath. “Who is this that you have brought before me, Solrath?” she demanded, spreading her wings as she trotted down the dais’ steps. Modern Equestrian was vulgar upon her tongue, but she used it anyway, having picked up the habit in order to better relate to modern ponies. It certainly had nothing to do with certain…insinuations…made by one of her enemies seven months ago.
Solrath flapped his wings. “Might I present, the pony Dazzler,” he said, his voice full of amusement for some reason. The blind dragon waved a claw over the unicorn as she bowed low before Celestia. “She came all the way here, risking volcanism and death by dragon, placing herself totally at your mercy, to ask you a question.”
Celestia blinked at that. She couldn’t help it as she stared down at the pony, who glanced up. The fear was still there, but it was…tempered, somehow. She leaned forward. “Have you come to pledge your allegiance to the true ruler of Equestria?” she asked.
Dazzler’s eyes widened slightly. “Um,” she said. “N…not really, to be perfectly honest…not that I don’t think you’re great and all, your Majesty! I just don’t think I’d be very useful.” She looked directly at Celestia, and mumbled, “That is so weird…” under her breath.
Celestia stiffened. Dazzler had probably thought that she had spoken in too low a voice to be heard, but Celestia’s ears could hear sunlight rebounding off of a frozen lake – she could certainly hear a mumbled comment. She whickered. “What is ‘so weird?’”
Dazzler looked taken aback, and she shifted. “Um…” she said. “Have you ever…like, seen a picture of a friend, but the picture’s from twenty years ago, and they look basically the same but their mane is all different and it’s just weird seeing them like that? Your Majesty?”
Celestia frowned, blinking. Of all the myriad ways this conversation could have gone, this was not one she had expected. Celestia did not like the unexpected, but this was simultaneously so innocuous, and yet still respectful on the part of Dazzler, that she somehow couldn’t become properly offended like she knew she should. “What’s wrong with my mane?”
“Nothing!” Dazzler said. “It’s just…well, I’m used to seeing it different. Your tail, too. And…well, your eyes. I – and this is just a personal opinion, your Majesty – I think your eyes look better when they’re not all, you know, glow-y.” Dazzler bowed low again. “Sorry, I don’t mean to be rude…”
The alicorn blinked a few times more. “How is it,” she demanded, leaning forward again, “that you are ‘used to seeing’ me as I have not appeared in more than a thousand years?”
Dazzler pursed her lips. “Well, we have pictures from before you…well, before,” Dazzler said. She bowed her head once more. “I’m sorry, though; this is really rude of me.”
Celestia didn’t know what to make of this conversation. She settled on taking the opportunity to leave it behind as she spread her wings once more, gazing down upon Dazzler, though with a bit more charity than she had previously had. This little pony was certainly no threat to her, and seemed to genuinely respect her, which was more than she had yet been able to coax out of most other ponies. “Very well, Dazzler,” Celestia said, turning around and trotting back to her throne, then sitting upon it with wings still spread imperiously. “I have not held an open Court for some time, but I find that the mood now strikes me. Ask your question, and I shall answer.” She leaned forward on the throne. “But understand: I am in a state of war with my sister. I do not know how you found this place, but you shall tell me. And you shall not be allowed to leave until the war is over.”
Dazzler chewed her lip at that. “Okay,” she said, sitting up straight as Solrath chuckled at the entire show. “Okay, then. My question: how do you know if you’re ready to marry a pony?”
Celestia blanched, eyes widening, as Solrath nearly stumbled and lost his balance, letting out a burst of surprised laughter. This…this was not the question she had expected. Celestia stood, incensed. “Do you mock me?” she shouted, her voice reverberating with ancient power.
Dazzler stumbled backwards a step, holding up her front hooves. “No!” she exclaimed. “No, I promise, I’m being dead serious! I’ve asked all my other friends and they’ve been really – ”
“Friends!” Celestia exclaimed. “Friends? I am not your friend! I am your Queen!”
Dazzler cringed. “Sorry…” she said, looking down. “Sorry…I just thought…” she sighed. “This was stupid, I know.”
Celestia grunted, sitting back upon her throne as she considered the gray pony. She was insane, that much was clear. Nopony but the mentally ill would traverse the rocky Skyshaper Peaks, enter a volcano, bargain their way past a dragon, and come before Celestia Herself, simply for marriage advice. She was the Daystar, the Undimmed! She had far higher and more noble things to concern herself with!
Of course, then Dazzler looked at her with eyes wide, enlarged to an almost impossible degree. They were watery, too. “It’s just, he asked me to marry him, and I do love him, but marriage is just a huge commitment, and I was looking into a mirror with a wedding veil on and it just hit me that I’m going to be a wife and we’re gonna live together and wake up together and eat together, and one part of me loves that, but there’s this little tiny niggling bit that thinks it’s really scary…”
Those eyes…
Celestia grit her teeth, glancing away and shivering. Those eyes. How could Celestia be thousands upon thousands of years old and yet still be affected by such a look of pleading desperation? “Very well,” she grunted, glaring at Dazzler and pointedly ignoring, for the moment, the bemused look on Solrath's face. “It is my opinion, as Queen, that marriage is for propagation, through procreation or adoption, and the raising of foals. Do you believe that your fiancé would make a good father?”
Dazzler blinked. “I’m…not sure if our relationship is at that point, even if we do get married. But yes. He’s great with foals.”
“Then marry.” She glared down at Dazzler. “Although I hope for his sake and yours that you were not planning on marrying any time soon. As I told you, Dazzler, you may not leave until my war with my sister is won.”
Dazzler bit her lip at that. “Oh…” she said. “Well, um…actually, I’ve sort of been examining the teleportation-dampening spell this whole time, and…well, bye.”
Celestia blinked, as Dazzler’s horn flashed twice in quick succession. The first burst was a precisely-prepared counterspell, washing over the entire caldera and resonating in just the right way to dispel the dimensional lock that Celestia had placed over the volcano’s crater. So surprised was she at both the finesse and the action itself that she didn’t have any time to act herself as the pony set off a teleportation spell, disappearing in a burst of lavender light and with an audible pop.
“What?” she demanded, standing and stomping a hoof. The whole palace rumbled from her exclamation and hoof-stomp. “What treachery is this?”
Solrath blinked. “Impressive,” he allowed.
Celestia glared at him, her mane and tail burning bright. “She mocked me! I will not be mocked!” she exclaimed, stomping down from her throne lest her own rapidly rising body heat melt the edifice. “She was an agent of Luna, no doubt…sent to spy…to make me look like a fool! I will not tolerate it!”
Celestia turned, trotting from her throne and deeper into the palace. “Zecora!” she called, bringing her voice under control lest she shake the palace loose and send it tumbling into the magma below. “Zecora! Where are you? I have hidden long enough – it is time for action!”
---
“…and then she left,” Trixie said as she held a stack of notes in her hooves, looking them over desperately as she and Ditzy stood at her front door. Ditzy had been trying to deliver mail, but Trixie had appeared with piles of paper and parchment already in her hooves, desperate for help. “What do I do? I don’t know anything about marriage! But now I’ve got all these notes and I'm trying to figure it out and I’m thinking of heading down to the library, and I’ve got Pokey over in the town hall researching divorce rates and marriage rates…I don’t know how to answer!”
Ditzy Doo took one of the notes. It was a mess of ink scribbles and marks, as Trixie had tried and failed several times to set to paper her thoughts on marriage and who and where and why and with how many ponies a particular pony should be married. She raised an eyebrow at that. “Polygamy?” she asked.
“It’s legal in most provinces! Including this one! I checked!” Trixie exclaimed. “What if it turns out her fiancé is into that? What if she isn’t? Or what if she is but her fiancé isn’t? I have to take that into account!”
Ditzy was glad that Trixie’s home was the last stop on her mail route today. “You’re taking this really seriously for a pony you just met,” she noted, looking at another piece of paper.
“I know!” Trixie exclaimed, wide-eyed. “Which is even weirder!” she blinked. “Do you think she put some kind of compulsion on me?”
“What, like a spell?”
“Yes! So that I’d be forced to do her bidding!”
“And she’s using you to sort out her marriage problems.”
“Pre-wedding jitters, Ditzy! Totally different!” Trixie set down her notes, pacing back and forth. “And Pokey’s even going along with it! Oh Stars Above, I’ve never been under a compulsion before, I have no idea how to dispel it – ”
“Trixie,” Ditzy interrupted quickly, raising her hooves. “Trixie, stop for a second and think about what you just suggested.”
The blue unicorn did, taking her hat off and holding it in her front hooves, spinning it around by its brim as she did. “Yeah…” she said. “Yeah, it does sound ridiculous…but what if she only wants me to think that it’s ridiculous and that’s part of the compulsion – ”
“Trixie, a pony did not enchant you to make you help her with her pre-wedding jitters,” Ditzy insisted. “She just made a good impression and you want to help her. That’s all.”
Trixie bit her lip. “I…I know,” she admitted. “It’s weird, though. You know me…I like to think I’m better than when we first met and all, but still. I never trust a pony this much on first meeting them!”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine – ” Ditzy said with a smile, when there was a flash from within Trixie’s home, specifically in her office. Ditzy and Trixie looked to each other pensively for a few seconds before both trotted inside, looking into the room.
Ditzy’s eyes widened. Brushing soot off of her coat, horn glowing lavender to dissipate the soot into nothingness as she did, was a pony that looked like nothing so much as a slightly lavender-tinted, unicorn version of herself, and by proxy an older version of her daughter. When she looked up, the eyes all but confirmed it, and Ditzy’s jaw dropped at the similarity. The unicorn’s own jaw dropped as well for some reason, though she recovered faster. “U-um, hi! I’m Dazzler!”
Interestingly, she didn’t do what most ponies did on seeing Ditzy’s walled eyes, which was overcompensate by staring intently into just one. She looked instead at Ditzy’s whole face, not bothered by the walled eyes at all. In fact, it was Ditzy doing the staring this time, at Dazzler’s sheer similarity to Dinky. “H…hi,” she said.
The silence could not have been more awkward. Trixie was the one who broke it, tossing her notes out of sight and coughing into one hoof. “Dazzler,” she said authoritatively. “This is Ditzy Doo, one of my closest friends, recently knighted Dame of Equestria, the Element of Kindness, a wonderful mother to her foal, and a waymorequalifiedponytoansweryourquestionsorryDitzy!”
She turned around, trying to run away. Ditzy reacted first, however, despite her shock. “Hang on!” she exclaimed, grabbing Trixie’s tail in her mouth. The unicorn yelped as she stumbled to the ground. “Ain nof moah quafified!” she exclaimed as best she could with a mouthful of tail. She spat it back out, looking at Dazzler. “I’m sorry, I’ve never been married, and…and let’s just say I don’t think I’d be a good wife and leave it at that.”
Dazzler blanched. “I think you’d make a great wife,” she insisted. “And you’re already a great mother. I met your daughter earlier today, she was…perfect, if I say so myself. Adorable.”
“Well, wife and mother are two different things…” Ditzy said. She glanced at Dazzler. “I…guess it depends on the pony I met. I’d like a husband, but I don’t really have the time, and I don’t want to confuse Dinky by suddenly bringing a father into her life when she’s just had me for so long…”
“I think she’d be able to handle it,” Dazzler insisted, as her horn glowed lightly. The bow in her hair disappeared, as she turned around to Trixie’s desk and retrieved her wedding veil, holding it in her hooves rather than putting it back on. “I’ve talked to a lot of ponies today already, though. I think I’ve got my answer…”
“What?” Trixie asked incredulously, as she stood. “But…ah, zut. I wanted to help…”
Ditzy turned to glare at Trixie. “You just tried to pass it off to me!”
“And I deeply regret that.” She stood up straighter as she turned back to Dazzler, raising a hoof imperiously. “But I’ve reached a decision on what advice to give.”
Dazzler blinked, then smiled as she sat down, veil still in her hooves. “Yes?” she asked.
“Do you love your fiancé?”
“Yes.”
“Good! Then marry him. See if it works out. If it doesn’t, get it annulled. That’s why annulling was invented.”
Dazzler chuckled. “Should have expected that,” she noted, as she set her wedding veil atop her head and her horn glowed brightly. Behind her, a point of gold-silvered light appeared, expanding and beginning to twist and turn upon itself, somehow seeming to suck itself inwards even as it grew larger and larger, until it was the size of the pony standing in front of it. Strangely, there was no wind or sparks of stray magic, which Ditzy would have expected – either Dazzler was being careful, or else the big effects only happened on the receiving end. Ditzy didn’t know much about magic, but she did know enough to be impressed by how easily the unicorn mare was able to conjure up such an impressive display.
“Oh, and one more thing!” Trixie insisted before Dazzler could speak, turning and dashing into her house. After a moment, she returned, holding a bottle filled with an amber liquid in her telekinetic grip. The label on the bottle marked it as both old and of excellent quality. “Congratulations,” she said.
Dazzler chuckled once more, reaching out with her own telekinesis. On taking the bottle, however, it shuddered and began to crack. Dazzler yelped, quickly setting it down on the ground. “Oh no!” she exclaimed, putting her hooves to her mouth. “Sorry, sometimes I grab things too hard – ”
“It’s okay,” Ditzy said, gingerly touching the bottle, eyes focusing on it. It was cracked near its top, but not leaking. “It seems fine. My daughter actually has the same problem. Right, Trixie?” At a lack of response, she glanced to Trixie. The blue unicorn’s mouth was hanging wide open, eyes wide, and she had one hoof pointed at Dazzler in stunned disbelief –
Wait.
Ditzy slowly turned to Dazzler, still framed by the glow of her teleportation portal behind her. She actually looked at her – her coat, her mane, her eyes. They were just like Dinky’s…not similar, but just like them, in every way, in a way that went well past uncanny and into downright identical. And she had the same problem of grabbing items too hard with her telekinesis.
The gray unicorn smiled softly when she realized her secret was out. “Like I said,” she said quietly, “you’re a great momma.”
Ditzy’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. “Din – ”
“Shhh,” the unicorn interrupted, putting a hoof to her lips as her horn glowed, and she took Trixie’s offered bottle of bourbon in her telekinesis, carefully this time so that it wouldn’t break. She smiled at Ditzy and Trixie. “Don’t worry…everything turns out okay in the end. I have to go now…but I’ll see you soon!”
The unicorn stepped backwards into the swirling magical portal she had created. It flashed brightly, then dissipated into lavender-tinged smoke that quickly dissipated into nothingness.
It was several long, long minutes before either Trixie or Ditzy could move, and several more before they could speak. The two looked at each other. “S…so,” Trixie said tentatively. “Um…th…that was…that was Dinky. L…little Dinky Doo. That was her. And...and she's getting married.”
Ditzy blinked a few times as she mulled over that. “I’m leaving,” she said. “I’m dropping off the outgoing mail, I’m clocking out, and then I’m coming back here, Trixie, and you’re going to have drinks prepared for us. Tall and stiff and a lot of them.”
Space and time twisted and roiled. With a pop, Dinky Doo appeared back in her own time, wedding veil and mostly-intact bottle of bourbon in tow, as well as a magically-contained necklace that she conjured from the pocket dimension she had stored it in. Specifically, she appeared in her apartment in Canterlot, where she had been trying on her wedding dress when her crisis of confidence had struck her suddenly and overwhelmingly. She didn’t, in hindsight, know why traveling back in time to that day twenty years ago had seemed like a good idea, but it had. And things had worked out well enough…certainly, at least, she had restored confidence in her decision to marry her paramour.
Dinky set the bourbon and necklace on a nearby table, then slid her veil back onto her head. Taking a deep breath, she trotted over to a mirror, intent on looking at herself again, this time with confidence rather than trepidation. Glancing into the mirror, however, revealed that she was not as alone in her apartment as she had been when she left. She yelped in surprise and spun quickly at the sight of a shape behind her –
“Did you enjoy your sojourn through time?” the interloper asked.
Dinky’s eyes widened when she recognized her, and she bowed low out of instinct. “Princess Celestia!”
Celestia smiled beatifically. “Dinky, you don’t have to bow to me, I thought I made that clear years ago,” she said as she trotted over to a set of sitting cushions, then settled down and shook her mane. It was pink, normal hair, as was her tail, not the rainbow pattern that she had worn them as before her exile into the sun, nor the flames that she had preferred during her madness. In point of fact, the pink hair was its natural form, the animate rainbow and her sister’s flowing star-stuff merely cantrips that they had gotten into the habit of ‘wearing’ over the millennia; Celestia, on having her sanity restored, had decided to leave it ‘off’ as a sign of humility, a decision she hadn’t yet gone back upon.
Dinky shifted slightly, trotting over to another set of cushions and carefully sitting down herself. “Sorry,” she said. “I just, um – wait. How did you know I time-travelled, Princess?”
“As the passage of the Sun marks the progression of time, so too can I mark its passage – and its passengers,” Celestia said mysteriously. She smiled after a moment. “I could sense the disturbance in the progression of time.”
“Disturbance?” Dinky asked, putting her hooves to her mouth. “Oh…oh no, did I change the past?”
“Yes,” Celestia said casually.
Dinky’s eyes widened further. “Oh no!” she repeated. “Oh, what happened? Is Momma okay? Big Mac? Trixie? Twilight? Spike? Did I erase anypony from – ”
Celestia chuckled, shaking her mane again. Her horn glowed, and a golden stream began to wind through the room, tracing its way around herself, Dinky, and flowing out of sight past a door. “Time flows like a river,” she explained. “Stepping into the past is like throwing a stone into that river.” The golden illusion had a silvery stone thrown at it, disappearing beneath its surface. The river rippled, but within moments had settled back into place. “Once thrown, the stone is in the river, always, unless you go and take it out. But…?”
Dinky blinked a few times, willing herself not to panic. She took in a deep breath, and let it out, thinking the problem through like Twilight had shown her. “The river keeps flowing around the stone,” she said. “So…so what you’re saying is that there’s no such thing as the butterfly effect?”
“I’m saying that butterflies can only flap their wings so hard,” Celestia responded. “You can change the past in small ways, but it tends to flow back together and proceed as it was going to. It is perfectly possible to make large changes – to alter the flow of time itself, create new outcomes, change the river’s course – but that requires considerable effort, and there are beings - not just myself, but others - that would oppose you.” She smiled. “But it would certainly require more than a single mare going around a small town and asking about marriage.”
Dinky giggled slightly, as much from relief as amusement, head tilting to the side. “So what did I change?”
“Well, for one thing, your mother and the nascent viscountess had magnificent hangovers the following day,” Celestia said with a wry grin. “I don’t believe they recalled your revelation to them, which is probably for the best. Sparkler and Bon Bon were a little richer than they might have been due to your purchases.” She frowned. “I spent the next week incensed, but that describes most of my life at that time. More importantly, I have spent the past several years, ever since I connected you to the ‘Dazzler’ that appeared in my lair, waiting for today so that I could ask you: what is wrong with my mane?”
Dinky blinked a few times at that, before bursting out laughing. Celestia chuckled as well. She still had difficulty, Dinky knew, reconciling with her years of madness as Corona – so the opportunity to laugh about a very strange day as the would-be Queen of Equestria probably did her a world of good.
Celestia stood after a moment, as did Dinky. “Now, I must be going,” she said. “The first daylight convening of the Royal Court in more than a millennium is in a week, and the preparations are keeping my sister and I quite busy…and the fact that a certain somepony decided to get married the day before and invite us both certainly does not help matters.”
Dinky offered a guilty grin as she followed Celestia to the door, opening it for her. “I’d invite you to the bachelorette party, too, but I don’t think it’s the kind of thing you’d enjoy.”
“I’m afraid not,” Celestia said as she stepped outside. She inclined her head to Dinky. “Congratulations once again, Dinky. You two make a perfect couple.”
“Thanks,” Dinky said, leaning forward and touching horns with the princess respectfully. “See you in a few days.”
Celestia nodded, trotting away. She paused after a few steps, however, then turned around. “Oh, one more thing,” she said. “All of time and space laid out before you…why that day in particular?”
Dinky smiled softly, but tapped a hoof to her muzzle. “I get to be mysterious sometimes too,” she insisted. “Let’s just say that it was a really good day.”
---
Twenty years ago…
Last week, it had been an ancient castle dating from before the founding of Equestria, with noble defenders within holding off a horde of griffins and minotaurs and diamond dogs. A few days ago, it had instead been a great mountain, with a fabulous prize said to lay at its top for any brave enough to scale it. And today, it was a fortress in the Southern Sea, set next to a vital trading port that, rumor said, was about to come under attack by Barbaneigh pirates.
In fact, it was none of those things; it was just a tall, easy-to-climb tree in the Whitetail Wood with branches that had grown in such a way as to create a kind of natural fort. To the foals of Ponyville, it was known as the Castle Tree.
“Alright you maggots, listen up!” Scootaloo exclaimed as she trotted imperiously before the line of foals that had arranged themselves on the ground inside of the Castle Tree's boughs. “We’re here to – ”
“I don’t think ponies talked like that back during the Barbarneigh days,” Dinky interrupted.
“Yeah,” Snips said. “It was a hundred and fifty years ago…”
Scootaloo pointed at Dinky and Snips both. “Sedition!” she exclaimed. “Sweetie Belle, clap them both in irons!”
“We don’t have those,” Sweetie Bell pointed out.
“Well…fine. Snails! Flog them!”
“Huh?” Snails asked, looking up. He had one hoof raised, as crawling across it was something small and white and possessed of too many legs for most ponies to be comfortable with. “Sorry. I found an albino woodlouse!”
“Snails!” Scootaloo cried. “This is no time to be playing with bugs!”
“Woodlice are crustaceans,” Snails objected indignantly. “They’re not even insects. And only insects in the hermiptera order are ‘bugs’ anyway.”
Scootaloo stared a moment before sighing, covering her eyes with one hoof. “This fortress is gonna fall to the Barbarneigh pirates,” she predicted.
Dinky puffed up her chest a little. “No it won’t!” she declared, stepping out of line and looking over the dozen other foals. “Everypony to your battle stations! Get the water balloons ready! Scootaloo, you can climb the best, so you can go and keep a look-out!”
Scootaloo frowned as everypony else burst into action. “I wanted to be in charge…”
“Sorry,” Dinky apologized. “Next time you can be. I won’t say anything. What’s flogging, anyway?”
“I dunno,” Scootaloo admitted as she scampered over to the Castle Tree’s main trunk and climbed it. Dinky followed, though not as high, instead making her way over to a natural gap in the branches that let her look out from the tree. The Castle Tree was situated on the edge of the Whitetail; the forest to their back was the ‘town,’ while the broad, hilly field in the front was the ‘ocean.’
“Make sure to save your water balloons!” Dinky called out. “We need to make every throw count!”
There was several long, tense minutes, before Scootaloo finally called out a warning. And there, across the open ocean/grassy field, they appeared, the war-galleys and carracks of the Barbarneigh corsairs, sailing north from Zebrica and Tapira and intent on raiding the Equestrian coast for treasure and slaves. There were pirates of every variety: zebras, antelope, and tapirs mostly, but with some ponies, camels, horses, and even a few griffins and buffalo, all dressed and painted for war and armed to the teeth. They were a scurvy bunch of sea-dogs as any Dinky had ever laid eyes upon
Everypony in the Castle Tree pointedly ignored that it was actually a few wagons or scooters, that most of the pirates were on foot, and that they were all just normal pony foals.
Dinky’s eyes, though, were immediately drawn to the pony/pirate leading them. He was a splotched-coated earth pony wearing a bandana and jerkin with a cutlass at his side and directing the the villainous band of cutthroats. His mane and tail billowed in a breeze that came from nowhere as he drew his sword.
Dinky blushed at the sight. She didn’t know why.
“Avast!” the blackguard exclaimed, his accent Trottinghamish. “I’ve put together this flotilla and I mean to sack this port! Surrender now!”
“Never!” almost everypony within the Castle Tree called, readying to throw their balloons.
“Hey, wait!” Dinky called before the pitched battle could begin. “Who are you?”
The pirate grinned widely as he spotted Dinky amidst the branches. “I’m the King of the Pirates, I am I am! Scourge of the Seas and – ”
“No, I mean, I’ve never seen you around town,” Dinky interrupted.
“Oh,” the foal responded, lowering his wooden sword. “I’m Pipsqueak. I just moved here from Trottingham the other day.”
“He’s cool!” One of the other pirate foals, Applebloom, said as she lifted up her eyepatch to get a better look at Dinky. “He had all these pirate toys already an’ even came up with the plan to outflank y’all by – ”
Applebloom blushed in embarrassment, putting her eyepatch back on. Dinky giggled as she looked back to Pipsqueak. “Hi!” she said. “I’m Dinky Doo!”
Pipsqueak waved, then slipped back into character. “Be ye the master of this fort?”
“Huh?” Dinky asked, blinking. She suddenly remembered that she was in the Castle Tree, trying to fend off a Barbarneigh Coast attack. “Oh! Um…yeah, I guess. Yeah! Captain Dinky of the Royal Equestrian Army!”
“Then I’ll give you one chance! Surrender now or I’ll sack the fort and sack the town!”
Dinky weighed carefully the pros and cons of letting Pipsqueak into the Castle Tree. She couldn’t actually think of any pros, however…
“Dinky!” Scootaloo called down at her after several moments. “What’s taking so long?”
Dinky blinked a few times, then steeled herself. “No!” she called down to Pipsqueak. “I have a duty to my ponies and to Equestria!” She threw her water balloon. Pipsqueak yelped as it sailed at him, quickly taking his wooden sword into his mouth and swiping. He managed to deflect the balloon, making it land at his hooves before it popped, barely even getting wet. Dinky was suitably impressed.
“Alright then, lads and lasses!” Pipsqueak said after spitting out his sword, as his scurvy band of miscreants readied their own water balloons. “We do this the hard way! Attack!”
The Barbarneigh pirates charged, Pipsqueak retrieving his sword and joining at the front. Many of them fell on their way to the fort, their first attack repulsed after long minutes of intense fighting with both sides getting soaked, Dinky in particular managed to peg Pipsqueak a number of times. The second attack came later, unexpectedly, from a hidden force lead by Twist. Coming in from the Whitetail Wood behind the Castle Tree, it was quickly reinforced by the main body of corsairs – apparently this had been Pipsqueak’s master plan that Applebloom had accidentally almost spoiled. A time-out was called to determine if that was fair or not; by the time the issue was resolved, the surprise was ruined anyway, the pirates withdrew in disarray, and Pipsqueak had been given a black spot and had to defend himself from Rumble’s attempts to take over leadership of the band. The Castle Tree’s defenders, however, were perilously low on water balloons, and couldn’t exploit the weakness.
The final attack came not long after Pipsqueak managed to get enough votes to remain the Pirate King, with only a precious fifteen minutes before everypony had to go home for dinner. Exhausted, demoralized, and low on ammunition, the defenders of the Castle Tree were at last overwhelmed, the Barbarneigh corsairs penetrating their outer defenses and getting behind the boughs of the tree itself. A pitched battle followed, the remaining water balloons flying, but in the end, Dinky, Scootaloo, and Snails stood alone and side-by-side against Pipsqueak and his ragged band.
“Surrender!” Pipsqueak demanded.
Dinky lifted the last water balloon over her head telekinetically. “Never!” she exclaimed heatedly. Unfortunately, her concentration slipped, she squeezed the balloon just a little too hard, and the balloon popped.
“Wagh!” Dinky cried out at the unexpected fall of water onto her head. She didn’t have time to be embarrassed, though, as at the sight, everypony around burst out laughing, Dinky joining in wholeheartedly. It was several long minutes before she calmed down. “Aww…” she observed. “We lost…”
“Haha!” Pipsqueak exclaimed, holding his cutlass over his head again. “The Barbarneigh corsairs win! You lot will all be shipped back to Tapira, and to Swala and Ngamia in Zebrica, to be sold in the slave markets!”
“I don’t want to be a slave!” Snails objected. Dinky wholeheartedly agreed.
“Too bad!” Pipsqueak laughed, turning with his band and trotting triumphantly from the Castle Tree. He stopped on his way out, though, turning back to Dinky. “That was fun, though!”
“Yeah!” Dinky said, trotting forward as she shook her mane. She was soaked, but so was everypony, and it was hot enough that by the time they got back to town, they’d all be dry. She looked at Pipsqueak. “We get together like this every weekend. It’s not always attack-the-fortress, though. Sometimes we play hoofball, or go on treasure hunts…”
“That sounds like fun!” Pipsqueak said. Up close, Dinky realized he was shorter than her, though he seemed a year or two younger, anyway, so that made sense. “I can’t wait! Gotta go home for dinner now, though.” He waved at Dinky as he turned around. “Bye! I'll see you soon!”
“Bye! I’ll see you soon too!” Dinky called, smiling brightly. She may have failed to protect the Castle Tree, but for some reason she couldn’t stop smiling anyway. Probably because even though she had lost, she’d still had a lot of fun, and had even made a new friend.
“Today was a really good day,” she decided as she hurried home.
