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Latest Stories

  • T Princess Pile Drinking Games

    A collection of amusing scenes from stories I never finished.  · GaPJaxie
    16,436 words · 193 views  ·  22  ·  0
  • E Twilight Sparkle vs Social Inequality

    When Twilight is accused of nepotism, her friends rush to her defense! Sortof.  · GaPJaxie
    3,607 words · 3,939 views  ·  561  ·  53
  • T The Quest for Celestia's Raiment

    Nine hundred years before the return of Nightmare Moon, five pony heroes struggle to win fortune and glory in the eyes of their princess.  · GaPJaxie
    64,805 words · 1,274 views  ·  46  ·  4
  • T Heralds of Luna

    The cleaned up story from my Ponyfinder game, Heralds of Luna. In the wake of Discord's reign, six ponies must save the Royal Sisters and restore order to Equestria.  · GaPJaxie
    31,444 words · 288 views  ·  17  ·  1
  • T Daring Do

    Bioshock meets MLP in this psychological thriller, where Celestia's new faithful student, Siren Song, must discover the truth behind the city beneath the waves. Arriving in pursuit of Twilight, Siren finds herself trapped in a city of horrors.  · GaPJaxie
    128,322 words · 1,265 views  ·  210  ·  9
  • E A Series of Events

    Once upon a time, there was a pony. Her name was Celestia, and her purpose was to bring harmony into the world. Starting with grass.  · GaPJaxie
    3,330 words · 787 views  ·  53  ·  0
  • T The Arbitrage of Moments

    When you have so little, and another has so much, it’s easy to justify theft. The more precious the commodity, the easier it is to tell yourself you need it more than they do. And what is more precious than time?  · GaPJaxie
    12,168 words · 2,237 views  ·  273  ·  10
  • T Regarding The Need for Sex Education

    Ponies these days are nuzzling younger than ever. Talk to your foals about the dangers of unprotected tummy rubs.  · GaPJaxie
    7,604 words · 19,229 views  ·  1,508  ·  42
  • T Siren Song

    Bioshock meets MLP in this psychological thriller, where Celestia's new faithful student, Siren Song, must discover the truth behind the city beneath the waves. Arriving in pursuit of Twilight, Siren finds herself trapped in a city of horrors.  · GaPJaxie
    197,562 words · 7,646 views  ·  476  ·  12
  • T I Forgot I Was There

    Twilight accidentaly brings her reflection to life, forcing her to confront her neurosis.  · GaPJaxie
    113,688 words · 15,958 views  ·  1,315  ·  48

So I was recently working on a fic for a writeoff called Truth. In it, Princess Celestia, Twilight, Luna, and Cadence are all relaxing and playing a drinking game, but when Princess Celestia gets a bit roundhoofed and says something she shouldn't, the conversation suddenly turns serious.

I decided not to finish the fic for a variety of reasons (the premise had more holes than I thought), but I did get a good bit of the way through the intro before I reconsidered. And so now, for your enjoyment, princesses playing drinking games.

There is a game that ponies play called Circle of Truth, and its rules are very simple. A group of friends sit in a circle and take turns asking eachother questions ranging from the amusing to the embarrassing. Whenever a player answers, the other players have the option of accusing her of lying, and she must then reveal if she was telling the truth. If she was, everyone who accused her of lying has to drink. If she wasn’t, everyone who believed her has to drink. And then the next turn goes.

Each pony race has their own version of the game, varying in the fine details. For instance, the earth pony version of the game is called Cider Talk, and the turn order proceeds clockwise. By contrast, the pegasus version of the game is called Four Winds, and the turn order is determined by who drinks first. The unicorn variant is called Coven, and turn order is determined by horn length, usually measured with a bit of innuendo and giggling. It is that sort of game.

But while details of the rules may be of interest to sociologists and historians, the essential nature of the game is unchanged. It is a way to relax around ponies, to get to know them better, and to come closer to them as friends.

And so, when the recently crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle was invited to play with her three fellow royals, it was all she could do not to squeal with joy.

“Mmm,” Princess Celestia said, at the start of the game’s fourth round. She was sitting comfortably on a bed of pillows next to the fire, occasionally snacking from a bowl of apple slices situated nearby. She’d done particularly poorly in the early rounds, having overestimated Twilight’s innocence, underestimated Cadence’s, and incorrectly assumed that she knew all of Luna’s tells. She didn’t mind losing though, and there was a smile on her face as she searched the room for a target.

“Luna.” Celestia picked her target with a soft word and a faint nudge of her muzzle. “My dear sister.” She smiled. “As a shapeshifter, what is the most embarrassing request to change your form you’ve ever granted?”

Luna kept a good poker face as she pretended to mull the matter over, taking the time to examine the face of her fellow players. All four of them were in one of the royal lounges of Canterlot Palace, seated comfortably in a rough circle. Celestia was next to the fire on a pile of pillows. To her left was Twilight, legs tucked under her upon a broad and soft cushion. Next was Cadence, stretched out on a particularly comfortable looking divan. Last, on Celestia’s right, was Luna. She was sprawled out over a dark purple bean bag, a device she had earlier cheerfully declared a wonder of the modern era.

Luna licked her lips, and reached down with her magic to take another oat from the bowl. With deliberate slowness, she held it between her teeth, and then slowly crunched as she mulled the matter over.

“When I first had occasion to meet Twilight’s parents,” Luna spoke, just that opening enough to prompt a nervous grin on Twilight’s face, “her father requested I turn into an earth pony because, and I quote.” Luna turned her smirking face on Celestia. “‘I already get in enough trouble when Princess Celestia visits. It is not my fault her hips are at eye level.’”

Cadence burst out giggling, almost losing her glass as her concentration on her magic momentarily wavered, Twilight quickly found something in the carpet to stare at, the nervous grin on her face advancing to a deep blush. Luna and Celestia both smiled, but it was clear to everypony involved that they were taking careful stock of each other.

“I fail to see how that’s embarrassing for you,” Celestia said evenly, lifting her chin slightly as she considered her sister.

“You didn’t say it had to be embarrassing for me,” Luna answered, holding Celestia’s gaze. Celestia waited for a few long seconds, her eyes slowly narrowing.

“Lie,” Celestia said.

“Truth!” Cadence rose her voice, giggling again as she lifted her glass. “Don’t be ashamed, Celestia. Those hips of yours have strained many a marriage.”

“Ooooh.” Twilight groaned. “I don’t want it to be true, but with my dad... oh. No. Not even he’s that tactless.” She scrunched up her muzzle, and lifted her face. “Lie.”

Luna grinned. “The Princess of Love doth speak wisely about all matters of romance, including my sister’s hips. Truth!”

Twilight groaned and lifted a hoof to her face, as Celestia’s melodious giggle joined Cadence’s. “Dad.” Slowly she dragged her hoof down her face and the back to the floor. “Kill me now,” she said, in a truly wretched tone.

“Oh, don’t feel bad Twilight,” Cadence said, stretching her wings out as she sought to get comfortable. “You’d be hard pressed to find a stallion in the city who hasn’t checked that out.”

“If you’re quite finished?” Celestia asked, and though her words were a bit pointed, they kept their good humor.

“She has only just begun!” Luna proclaimed energetically, lifting a leg in emphasis. “For if memory serves, you and Twilight must now drink. And when you do, I have a question for our lovely crystal princess.”

Celestia gave a good natured sigh and levitated her glass, directing it Twilight’s way. “Cheers,” she offered. Twilight returned the gesture, and their glasses clinked together. It only took one good sip to empty Celestia’s, though Cadence was quick to refill it.

“Now then,” Luna said, turning a predatory eye on Cadence. “Princess of Love, tell us: Before you married Shining Armor, precisely how many stallions and mares had you been with?”

“Oh my gosh, that is so unfair,” Cadence, rolled her eyes and let her head slump to the pillows. “I’m the princess of romantic love. True love! The deep spiritual bond between two ponies who care about eachother.” She held her forelegs in close to her underside, emphasizing her heart. “Why does everypony assume I’m a whore?”

“Because you’re evading the question,” Celestia replied without missing a beat.

“Indeed. Thine guilt is as plain to see as thy suggestively unshorn fetlocks,” Luna said, her amusement running through her words.

“Celestia! Luna. That’s not fair,” Twilight said, nodding Cadence’s way. “Besides, it’s not true. Cadence is a class act.”

“Thank you, Twilight,” Cadence answered firmly, turning to  Celestia and Luna. “Two, if you really want to know that bad.”

“Lie,” Celestia and Luna spoke together at once.

“Truth!” Twilight insisted, looking expectantly at Cadence. Cadence only blushed though, and looked awkwardly at the pillows.

“Um...” she glanced at Twilight, then at the floor. “Well, this is awkward. Sorry, Twilight. You know Shining is my one true love. It’s just a little embarrassing to admit...”

Twilight looked bashful as well, but managed a smile. “It’s okay, Cadence. I take it the real number is higher than two?”

“Well...” Cadence flicked her tail. “It has a two in it.”

Twilight froze, her tail and ears going stock still. After a moment, she managed to ask: “Twelve?”

“Nope.” Cadence shook her head.

Twenty?” Twilight’s mouth fell open. But Cadance shook her head. “But... in the twenties?”

“Just a hair past—”

Thirty two!?” Twilight shot to her hooves, as Luna’s howls of laughter echoed through the room. “You slept with thirty two ponies before you married my brother!? But that... that’s like a new pony every month for three years!”

“No! No.” Cadence lifted her hooves. “Not every month. How cold would that be? I want to get to know a pony longer then that. I dated most of the ponies I knew for half a year at least. I was just... well, you know. Dating six ponies at a time.”

Luna’s laughter only grew louder as Twilight’s jaw fell open in horror. “Oh, don’t you judge me,” Cadence snorted, giving a very regal flick of her mane as she munched on another oat. “We’re herd animals. It’s natural. You’re all just really repressed.”

“Oh my... ugh!” Twilight shuddered, and then quickly took her drink. “I can’t believe it. I’m never going to get that image out of my head.”

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#99 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·


I don't understand. That's just all of them singing Giggle at the Ghosties normally while wearing fabulous hats and monocles. :rainbowhuh:

Seriously, that was awesome. :pinkiehappy:

#98 · 1w, 1d ago · · ·

I found a Giggle at the Ghosties cover I thought you'd like.

#97 · 13w, 1d ago · · ·


Yes. That post.

#96 · 13w, 1d ago · · ·

omg dat blog post doh.

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