I'll be blunt. I rated it as the second worst episode of the series; only episode I hated more was Spike at Your Service. Now, the difference in the two episodes is that in SaYS, we only had a Spike that went full retard and basically terrible characterizations over all. The Timberwolves weren't enough to pull it out of a crater that dug to the core of the earth filled with shit I wanted to set on fire from pure hatred of the episode.
Magical Mystery Cure, which sounds like it's based off of some Beatles' album, brought a whole new level of suck to the table. It's the first episode I rage quitted from watching (my friend who I was chatting with did nearly the same thing) and the first episode where everything that happened I basically hated. Almost everything, at least.
The good things were few and far between. I mean, there was basically only three or four good things in the entire episode. Five if you count the appearance of Bubbly McBubblington Bubblebutts, best wall-eyed background pony ever made. Although she's not really a plus. She's pure fan pandering and adding her into the finale quite honestly annoyed me. I guess the only thing I'm happy about is that she's alive, as this should shut those moralDerpyfags up. Hopefully. Probably not, though.
I guess I should start explaining my reasoning behind my hatred. First thing was the music. I only managed to make it through six of the songs. I quit before the last one was played, but judging by how bad the songs were overall, I would've hated it. Guess I also missed the second one but I'm still gonna guess it sucked. Yes I hate things. Quite easily, in fact. Maybe it stems from the fact I'm into death metal and little pop songs don't make me release dopamine the same way I do when I hear Pekka Kokko shredding, or Herman Li playing some amazing guitar solo that makes me question how the universe hasn't been torn asunder.
However, I'm not just into metal. Some of the songs from the show I /have/ enjoyed and have taken the time to memorize both rhythm and lyrics. For fun. Smile Smile Smile in particular; This Day Aria was a fun one to learn; Winter Wrap Up is a must. The songs in the new episode, however?
The first song, with Twilight waking up and saying how everything was going to be a good day. I actually liked it. It was catchy, pretty cool, and I found myself laughing--and questioning a bunch of things--when Twilight started tap dancing on the table. Bipedal much? This does raise a bunch of questions, however. Since when did Twilight learn how to tap dance? I demand a fic where Twilight takes tap dancing lessons and she finds out she's some sort of prodigy. Another good thing about the song is that it lead into the problem. Rarity fucking up the weather 'cause apparently she's been cutie mark (destiny?) swapped into believing she's a weather pony.
The second one, as I previously stated, I missed. Because my laptop overheated and I REALLY didn't want to look back into this episode. Just going to assume it sucked because, as a friend stated when I gave my review of this episode to him, I'm a pessimistic lil' fuck. Whoops. :3
The third song (assuming it was 'What my Cutie Mark is Telling Me') was also quite good. Something about seeing how everyone is now trying to deal with their new forced destiny (we'll get to that later) was kinda cool. So, we have Rainbow Dash thinking she's Fluttershy; Fluttershy thinking she's Pinkie; Pinkie thinking she's Applejack; Applejack thinking she's Rarity; and Rarity thinking she's Rainbow Dash. The pentagram is complete between swapped destiny. All we need is a few candles, a ram's horn, maybe a hoof, and we'll get together for early morning Satanic rituals.
No one? At all?
Fine. Guess I'll summon something by myself.
All silliness aside, Pinkiejack was adorable. Everything she did was adorable. From the faceplant after she tried to move the plough, to the broken leg when she tried to buck a tree. Hell, even when a chicken laid an egg in her mane it was adorable. Applejackity just wasn't as good, but whatever. Pinkiejack has enough adorableness to back everyone else up.
Now, song four was shit. I can not stress this enough. Only positive thing was when Rainbow Dash was about to be vored. Should've went through with that. Now, the lyrics make me want to cringe. The simplicity of solving the entire episode's problem in a single song as well? Blah. Bad taste in my mouth rotten enough to make corned beef taste good. I /loathe/ corned beef. No, seriously, it's the only food to ever make me vomit. The lyrics are obviously aimed at a younger audience. I know what you're going to say. 'Oh, but this show was originally for little girls.' That's cute. Daniel Ingram promised 'epic' this season. Songs have been bad.
Another thing that I've heard. . . apparently MandoPony worked on some of the songs? That could explain why I didn't like most of the songs. As per much of the other 'famous' fandom musicians, I don't actually like any of them. Call me a heretic, call me a blasphemous scum, call me a Satanist that's still gathering supplies for my early morning Satanic summoning rituals--one of these days I'll summon Pinkie. Then the world will bow before my feet. Or hooves--but I really don't like them.
Getting back on track, the next song was the greatest moment of the show. Oh, the song sucked, but Celestia sang it. Lyrics were shallow. . . man, I can't even think of a proper analogy here. I'll post my headcanon here later in the blog, but the song sucked. Plain and simple.
And then Twilicorn happened and I rage quit. Not from the wings, but because of why it happened. Like I said, it brought a whole new level of suck to the table.
Let's get to it, shall we? Now, Celestia sent Twilight Starswirl's unfinished spell. It obviously wasn't completely unfinished, as it managed to swap the destinies of her friends. Except her 'cause fuck that, Hasbro needs a new money grabbing scheme. Does this ring a bell with any other fanfic writers? Namely the 'Twilight fucks up a spell and the world fails.' Only good one is Scystorm's take on it. Simply because everything goes just fine when she casts a spell.
So Twilight, through a song, manages to push everyone to their rightful destiny, therefore fixing her own fuck-up. Also she adds a few lines to the book then does a dramatic dot then PEWPEWPEW she gets laser beamed.
The headcanon here is that she died. Would've made the episode a LOT better, honestly. Now, the laser beam incinerated her. The next scene where she's in some sort of in-between universe that looks like it was made by a Twifag stalker documenting her entire life for his own personal lustful needs. Now, this is the afterlife. Celestia couldn't bear to tell her student the truth, so she gave her an afterlife dream. This explains why the lyrics suck, Celestia's making up a song on the spot to try to make it seem like everything's normal. Everything else is a dream. A good dream, one that Twilight obviously wanted. Dead, body vaporized so thoroughly there's no strands of it left in the entire universe, Twilight's living in her dream as an alicorn. As the pretty pony princess she obviously (she didn't) deserved to be. Ponyville is left mourning; Celestia's going to refuse to take in another student for fear of her next one being torn apart from her like this one. The Lunar Republic and the other one rises because nothing makes sense anymore, and the world ends. Okay, last part is joking, but it totally makes sense. If you believe in the afterlife, that is.
Headcanon is a powerful thing, isn't it?
Now, ignoring headcanon and getting back to the show. Celestia’s song ends, and Twilight becomes an alicorn and a pretty pony princess and I quite honestly rage quit then and there. I saw nothing else, heard nothing else, and effectively gave up on the episode. The livestream tab was closed, and I never looked at anything dealing with the episode again. Until today when I had to look up the song names.
I have seen a lot of praise for this episode, and I guess people are welcome to their own opinions. But that also means I’m entitled to my own.
This episode earns a 1.5/10, the second lowest rating I've ever given an episode. I recommend not watching this ponified High School Musical, and instead doing better things with your life like doing the dishes.
Review over, let the flaming commence.
Looking forward to not replying to your comments,