Day 1 - Exiled

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Can things get any worse? Almost all my earthly possessions lost, exiled from my home city, existing in a town filled with mad mares an uncultured DJ for a roommate, one princess furious at me, and another one expecting me to do the impossible. No, if this journal is to have any cathartic value, I can not complain without giving proper setup, so I suppose I have to go back to my last proper day in Canterlot to explain how circumstances forced me to come to Ponyville.

I awoke that morning, had my morning cup of tea to properly reflect on the previous day’s events while planning the course of the new day, and then went on to spend the next three hours practicing my cello. After that, I was going to talk with the conductor for our a meeting he had scheduled a few days before. I had assumed it was to discuss my recent performances and to make sure I had been making an effort to go out and socialize more. He had recently gotten the idea that my dedication to my craft was somehow detrimental to my social development.

I received the first inkling that things weren't going to go as planned when I walked into his office to find the royal princesses flanking him. As I bowed before them, I desperately tried to think of what could possibly have prompted them to take an interest in me; I had caused a stir a few years ago when I had become the first earth pony cellist to ever join the Royal Canterlot Orchestra, and been invited to play for the Grand Galloping Gala and the Equestrian Garden Party, but after that I faded from the public eye as I worked to further perfect my craft, and neither princess had bothered to say a word to me. There was my brief meeting with Princess Luna, but that had happened years ago and we hadn't spoken with each other since.

“Please sit down Octavia,” Princess Celestia said, and I quickly complied with her request.

“WE KNOW OUR PRESENCE HERE IS UNEXPECTED, BUT FEAR NOT, FOR WE BRING ONLY GOOD TIDINGS,” Princess Luna said, when I had met with her a few years previously she had refrained from using the Royal Canterlot Voice that most ponies living in a several mile radius around the castle had gotten quite familiar with in the aftermath of her return. Apparently, she had either relapsed or was trying to spite somepony (Quite possibly me due to... well, I shall not rehash our last meeting here).

“Yes, thank you sister,” Celestia said, wincing as her sister spoke, “what we mean to say is that we joined Mister Pianissimo to tell you that you are being promoted from third chair to first chair,”

“I am sorry Princess,” I said, struggling to keep my composure as blood rushed to my head, “Did you say you want me to take first chair?”

“That is right, my little pony, I know it is sudden, but Mister Pianissimo promises me you are one of the hardest working ponies he has ever met.”

“IT IS FOR THAT REASON, YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN TO HELP FORM THE NEW ROYAL PONYVILLE ORCHESTRA.”

She was trying to spite me then, I thought. My mood went from shocked elation to just shock. I was being sent to Ponyville, a town that was completely unheard of until Equestria's newest princess took up residence in the town.

“While I am very flattered Princess,” I said, “I do think someone a little more experienced would do a much better job of forming your Ponyville Orchestra.”

“WE SAID THE SAME THING, BUT MISTER PIANISSIMO ASSURED US THAT YOU WERE THE PERFECT PONY FOR THE JOB. HE ALSO SAID THAT IT WAS ONLY FITTING THAT AN EARTH PONY GO FORM THE ORCHESTRA, AS PONYVILLE WAS ORIGINALLY FOUNDED BY EARTH PONIES.”

So, Luna wasn't trying to spite me (necessarily), Mister Pianissimo was trying to get rid of me an earth pony who shouldn't even be able to draw a bow properly was making the rest of his unicorns look bad.

“Yes, Mister Pianissimo was very insistent, and after several hours of discussion, we finally agreed that you were the ideal candidate for the job,” Celestia said, smiling benevolently while Mister Pianissimo tried to hide his smirk, “This is a great honor, and I know you can form an orchestra worthy of my sister.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, trying to understand how Luna had gotten involved in this. Why in Equestria would she form her orchestra in Ponyville? Canterlot was more than big enough to support two orchestras, and even if she wanted to distance herself from her sister, there was no need to go to Ponyville. There would never be a situation so dire that it would require a pony to go to Ponyville.

“It is quite simple really,” Pianissimo said, finally entering into the conversation, “You have been,” I could see him struggle to suppress his laughter, “Chosen to make an orchestra second only to the Royal Canterlot Orchestra in the… charmingly rustic town of Ponyville.” Maybe he could go form a new orchestra on the moon, or better yet, the sun.

“Very well,” I said, “if you are sure you won’t reconsider, I will gladly take this generous promotion, just give me a few weeks to get my things together and find a house in Ponyville.”

“NONSENSE. THE ORCHESTRA NEEDS TO BE READY FOR THEIR FIRST PERFORMANCE BEFORE THE WINTER MOON CELEBRATION. YOUR LODGINGS HAVE ALREADY BEEN PURCHASED, AND YOUR POSSESSIONS ARE BEING PACKED AS WE SPEAK. YOU SHALL DEPART AT FIRST LIGHT TOMORROW MORNING.”

That was it then, my life in Canterlot was over, the princesses and I spoke a little more, but in truth, I wasn’t paying attention. I was far too busy trying to think of just how I would spend my last few hours in Canterlot before deciding upon the appropriate course of action. Hopefully the princesses didn't say anything too important during that time. An hour later, I left the office, strapped my cello case to my back, and went to look at my adopted home city one last time.

Although I am a Manehattanite by birth, I always found the city to be too gaudy and flashy, as if desperately trying to impress everypony with it's opulence. For most of my youth, I found myself longing to be in a city that possessed true sophistication and majesty, the absolute confidence in oneself that the nouveau riche of Manehattan lacked. I found that grace when I took my first train ride to Canterlot. Even from a distance, my eyes were drawn to the majestic spires and gently swooping arcs. Later, while touring the city streets, I saw a four string ensemble playing at Parisian styled café, and there I saw my first cello.

I couldn’t believe I had gone for ten years without seeing such a magnificent instrument. It was elegant without being ostentatious, and perfectly embodied my pre-adolescent theories on refinement. Before I knew it, I was walking towards the stallion playing her; I had to play it, to hold it in my hooves just once. The band finished their song, “La belle fille de lune” as I approached the cellist, and before he could move on to his next song I asked if I could hold it for a second. He smiled and obliged me, and to this day, I'm still not sure why, but I thank him for his generosity. I was too small to look over the cello, but the bow fit my hooves perfectly, and at that moment I felt as if I had discovered my calling (I was born with extremely malleable hooves, a rare condition that has been beneficial in my work, and also allowed me to be one of the few mares in Equestria capable of writing with their hooves).

It would be nice to say that my first performance with the cello was a flawless masterpiece that made grown stallions weep, but that would be rather unrealistic. In reality, it was a screeching terrible mess that at it's best managed to reach the rank of barely adequate, but it was enough. At that moment, I knew what I wanted to do with my life; I was going to spend every day learning to play the cello like it deserved to be played. When I finished my performance, I took a bow because that is what one does when they finish a song, and the onlookers politely applauded. My parents rushed over to tell me that I had earned my cutie mark, a pink treble cleft to match the color of my eyes. I didn’t care. I had discovered the cello, the rest was immaterial.

And now, I was being forced to leave. Leave the city that taught me what it meant to be refined. Leave the city that had given me my cutie mark. Leave the city that had given me my cello. Leave the city that had shaped me into the mare I was now. Still, if I was going to leave, then I could at least give the city one last gift before I left. I walked to the Equestria Gardens, unstrapped the cello from my back and began to play. I started with “The War of the Moon,” and moved on to “Celestia’s Lament.” Both songs about Luna’s fall and banishment, I later realized. As concerts go, it wasn't much, but ponies stopped to listen, some applauded, some even tried to tip me, and I like to think my performance made their days just a little bit better. Two hours later, I finished my impromptu concert and headed back to my apartment.

I entered the house to find Princess Luna inside, waiting for me, “I am glad you finally arrived, I feared that you had departed for Ponyville early,” she was back to speaking like a normal pony then.

As if reading my mind, she responded, “Ah, I should apologize, I was using the Royal Canterlot voice earlier today because I knew it would annoy my sister. She does hate being reminded of how she failed to prepare me for modern Equestrian society. And since she is forcing me to base my orchestra out of Ponyville, I thought she could use some reminding,” the princess smirked, it was… odd seeing her jest and act like a normal pony after her little performance today, and even odder to see that she wasn't upset with me. Not that I was complaining about that.

“Wait, you mean you don’t want to go to Ponyville either?” I asked, finally catching up with what she was saying.

“Of course not, while I have several good friends in the town, it is far too small to support a full size orchestra. You would be lucky to assemble a string quartet.”

“So then, why did you choose Ponyville if you know it can’t host an actual orchestra?”

“Because, Celestia is my sister and once she sets her mind to something there is no stopping her. She wants Ponyville to develop into a proper city, and to do that, it needs a proper orchestra. I expressed a desire to reform the Royal Orchestra of the Moon, and she decided to take care of two problems at once,” Luna shrugged, it seemed she had gotten used to her sister’s meddling.

“Ah, I see, so was there anything in particular you wanted to speak to me about or…” Or did you just decide to break into my apartment for no reason, I thought.

“Yes, of course. While I understand you will be busy trying to form a full orchestra in Ponyville,” the princess laughed, “I want you to take some time to enjoy the local flavor. There aren’t many towns like Ponyville, and it would be a shame if you didn’t get to experience it for yourself.”

“So, just to clarify, you came into my apartment to tell me to… have fun?”

The princess nodded, “That and to make friends. Speaking of which, be sure to say hello to Twilight Sparkle for me. Goodnight Octavia.”

I bowed before the princess as she walked out of my apartment. After that, I walked around my former apartment. They had managed to fit everything I owned into three boxes, well, everything but my cello. I would never entrust it to some moving ponies. The bed that came with the apartment was untouched, and after ordering a pizza, I played my cello for an hour, took off my bowtie, and went to bed. Tomorrow I was going to Ponyville.

Day 2 - Nightmare in Ponyville

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Morning came far too quickly for my tastes. But then, if I had had my way, I would have thrown Equestria into eternal night as opposed to ever going to Ponyville. Unfortunately, I doubt Princess Luna would be receptive to that idea. When the sun had finally risen, Princess Luna came to my apartment to banish all hopes of a last minute reprieve and make sure I wasn't about to flee. I had seriously considered the idea last night, but the only plan I came up with that allowed me to stay in Canterlot involved me hiding in the city's seedy underbelly and forging as a for-hire cellist who plays for anypony if the price is right. At least in Ponyville, I could maintain my standards.

“I know I said this before, but you should enjoy your time in Ponyville, it might not be as refined as Canterlot, but there are good ponies there, and the town has more to offer than most ponies would initially believe,” the Princess said as we left my old apartment for the final time.

“Please, you make it sound like I am missing something in Canterlot. I enjoy the city, go out to socialize when I feel so inclined, I have plenty of lovely acquaintances in Canterlot who are more than happy to see me on the occasions I feel compelled to visit them.”

“You said acquaintances, not friends,” Luna said as we walked down the streets of Canterlot, heading towards the royal castle.

“And? The words are synonyms,” I said, “What in Equestria does my word choice have to do with anything? And I really don't see why it's important that I socialize and make friends, my work is all I need”

Luna laughed at that, “I suppose you will have to discover the difference between a friend and an acquaintance for yourself Octavia. And as for the latter, it is my experience that friends can make the absolute darkest of days endurable.”

We walked in silence for this rest of the trip as I thought on her words. Did I spend most of my days in my apartment practicing? Yes. Was it possible that my tireless pursuit of perfection had isolated me from most of my peers? Certainly, but it was precisely that dedication that had allowed me to become the respectable musician I was today. I had spent almost my entire life alone and was quite happy that way. On the other hoof, if a close social network did make terrible situations slightly more tolerable then I might need to cultivate them after I arrive in Ponyville. Finally, we reached the castle courtyard, and I realized we had walked right past the train station. “I don’t understand; why are we over here when the train is on the other side of Canterlot?” I asked.

“Oh, I have arranged for you to take one of the flying chariots into Ponyville, it won’t do for the Princess’s emissary to take the train,” Luna said, winking. If I had to go to Ponyville, arriving by flying chariot would at least take away some of the sting.

Luna flew with me to Ponyville, still thought I would run for the hills at the first possible chance despite my insistence to the contrary. “Octavia, I have taken the liberty of securing your lodgings once we reach Ponyville. You will be staying with a roommate and living next door to Lyra Heartstrings, I believe you have heard of her.”

I nodded my head. The mare had graduated from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns around the time I first moved to Canterlot and quickly developed a reputation as one of the best lyre players in Equestria. Nobility from across the land asked her to play at their functions but she had never accepted their invitations. Recently she had completely faded from view in Canterlot and most ponies assumed she had cracked under the pressure.

The princess continued, “Your roommate is one Vinyl Scratch, a fellow musician and good friend of Miss Heartstrings. I expect the two of you to get along famously.”

I groaned, "This is beginning to sound like the entire situation was orchestrate to get me to make friends. Please tell me the Royal Princesses of Equestria have more important things to do than insure ponies make friends."

"We would ne- I mean, I would never do that," she paused and tilted her head, "Although... I hope you will forgive me for heading back to Canterlot early.

Before I could respond, Luna flapped her wings and headed back off towards Canterlot, leaving me alone on a flying chariot with a sinking feeling in my stomach. I laughed and shook my head, recalling what my psychologist, Doctor Whooves, told me about my fears that ponies were out to get me.

Some time later, the chariot landed, and I stepped hoof in Ponyville, strapped my my cello to my back, and trotted off to the town center to find my lodgings as the Princess forgot to give me the address before she took off. I walked around the town and found myself pleasantly surprised by the town's quiet rustic aesthetic. I could easily see a tortured genius coming here to write or compose in the hopes of getting away from the busy city life. Perhaps the fresh country air will help me clear my head and compose a brilliant symphony so that when I finally make my triumphant return to Canterlot I will be hailed as a visionary genius and Mister Pianissimo will be exposed as a bigoted fraud. The thought was surprisingly comforting.

As I walked down the town’s streets, I felt the feeling of eyes on the back of my neck. The other denizens were going about their daily business and most paid me no special attention other than the cursory glance, but the more I walked the more the feeling of being watched grew. I shook my head, I was just being paranoid. The new environment must have gotten my imagination running, I had to repeat what the doctor told me, there was no pink pony plotting to ruin my life. There was no pink pony who served as a portent of doom. If there was, I would have seen her by now, I thought, laughing at my paranoia. “Excuse me” I said, approaching a magenta colored pony with three smiling flowers as her cutie mark, “I am looking for a Miss Vinyl Scratch, I am to be her new roommate, but was not told where I would be living.”

The pony eyed me suspiciously, apparently she didn’t believe a pony could be stupid enough to pack up her belongings and move across Equestria without first learning where exactly she would be living. To be fair, I didn’t either before today. I certainly didn't think I would be capable of it, “You mean you moved all across Equestria and all you brought with you was that case?”

“Oh! Uh… no. The rest of my possessions are being delivered by moving pegasi, I just wanted to make sure that my cello arrived safely.”

Her look of suspicion quickly melted into one of concern. “Tell me, did you happen to see the moving pony who packed up all your things?”

I explained to her that I was forced to move on short notice, and that I had been out of the house when my things were being packed.

“Oh, well tell me,” she said, “did the moving boxes happen to have a muffin on them?”

I nodded as I recalled the peculiar logo on the cardboard boxes.

“Oh dear, you should probably head home as quickly as possible, just go to Chestnut Street, it is your first right after crossing the south bridge," she said, pointing at a nearby bridge, "And it should be the third house on your left, the messy one, and it would be for the best if you were there to check on the moving mare when she arrived.”

“Why, what is the problem?” I asked, wanting to know why muffins could inspire such a reaction from a pony.

“Well, let’s just say that the moving pony, she means well, but she has a bad habit of losing, misplacing, or otherwise destroying packages.”

I nodded my head at the helpful pony and trotted off in the direction she pointed at. With each step, the feeling of eyes boring into the back of my skull intensified, and I soon broke into a trot, sprinting across the bridge in the hopes of evading my shadowy pursuer. After clearing the bridge, I turned my head over my shoulder to check for whatever had spooked me and suddenly found myself staring into the icy blue eyes of infinity. It spoke in its ancient cursed tongue and I fell over. From the ground I stared up at the sky as the… thing moved to stare down at me. A deranged smile threatened to consume it's whole face, and its body was coated in a violently unnatural shade of pink (One that is completely different from the shade of pink on my cutie mark and bow tie). It spoke again.

It was the mare from my nightmares. The mare from the Gala.

“Ooh! Miss, are you alright? All I did was say hello… Or is that how they say hello where you are from, by rolling over and pretending to be dead,” She, for this monstrosity was definitely female, quickly knocked herself over and mimicked my pose, before jumping back up. “Have we met?” It continued, “You look familiar, I know I have seen you before-” she stopped speaking and let out a loud gasp. “You worked at the Grand Galloping Gala, which means you live in Canterlot, but you are here now, which means-” She ran off before she could finish the sentence, and I shuttered. The creature spawned from Tartarus remembered me.

I have already alluded to my past experiences with the mare. It was she who ruined the Gala. Ruined the Garden Party. Drove me to the brink of madness. For years I convinced myself that she wasn't real, that she was a figment of my imagination but now... I shook my head, this could just be another one of my outbursts, another episode brought on by severe stress. Or at least, that is what I told myself as I picked myself up off of the ground and continued the sprint to my new home, desperately ignoring all the evidence that said she was real and lived in Ponyville.

I reached the house the magenta pony described and knocked on the door, gasping for breath. There was no answer. Knocking again, I heard movement coming from the house and a minute later the door swung open. A mare with a coat that was either white or a very light yellow looked out at me with eyes that were a vibrant shade of purple, she blinked, “Yes?”

“I’m… your new… roommate… Have… the moving ponies… arrived yet?” I said, gasping for breath.

She gestured for me to come inside, “No, no ponies have come by yet,” she said before stifling a yawn, “Didn’t expect you’d get here before I had a chance to have my morning coffee.”

I stepped inside the house as she shut the door. “It’s one in the afternoon.”

“Yeah, I know, can’t believe you got here this early. You must have gotten up at like… nine in the morning.”
“Actually,” I said, following the pony into the kitchen as she started brewing her coffee, “My chariot left Canterlot at precisely 6:30. I was up an hour before that.”

My new roommate stared at me, eyes widening as she let out a shocked gasp, “Woah, I think I was just getting to bed around that time. You must be like… crazy tired.”

I groaned, my roommate was one of those ponies who didn't think they day began before noon. Then again, perhaps parties in Ponyville tended to run late, and her odd hours were nothing more than a necessity of the job. If I am going to follow the princess's request to make friends (though I still don't see the need), I will have to wait before passing judgment. After all, she might be a perfectly fine mare despite her odd hours.

“Actually,” I said, “I managed to get to sleep around ten, so I don’t feel too terrible, but I would love a cup of coffee if it’s not too much of a bother.

“Oh yeah, sure,” Vinyl said, levitating another cup out of the cupboard. “I hope you don’t want anything particularly fancy, because I just have this coffee maker.”

I nodded my head, “Whatever you have will be fine,” I said, smiling graciously, “I have had quite a few cups of coffee at Pony Joe’s when I have to stay up practicing for a recital. Even we musicians at the top have to save our bits now and then.” There, putting myself down on her level should assuage any anxiety she might have about a Canterlot pony coming to live with her and go a long way towards making us friends.

Vinyl blinked as her smile slowly turned into a frown, apparently she didn’t feel the same way, “Sorry, what are you trying to say?"

"All I meant to say was that I know what it's like to struggle to get by. There were some very lean years before I got accepted into the orchestra."

"Uhh... yeah, I'm not exactly a broke musician struggling to get by, I make a decent living."

My mind raced, this situation didn’t go as well as I had hoped, and I needed to think of something that would remedy this situation, “Oh, of course, I… I just meant that a pony playing for Equestria's premier orchestra would make a bit more than a pony playing in Ponyville. I never meant to insinuate that you were poor, you probably make a decent living wage.”

Vinyl Scratch went back to smiling, “Never mind then. I don’t particularly care if a pony makes a few bits more than me as long as I get to go out and do what I love,” she said as she put both cups of coffee down on the table, “Although I gotta ask, how much does a fancy Canterlot musician make anyways?”

I let out a small sigh of relief, the crisis was seemingly averted, “Truthfully, I only made about 240,000 bits last year. Enough to live on, but I won’t be moving into Canterlot castle anytime soon.” There, I had demonstrated humility while answering the question honestly and not flaunting my wealth.

Vinyl Scratch burst out laughing.

“I didn’t think my joke was that funny,” I said, amused at how easily my new roommate, and, dare I say it, future friend was entertained.

“Oh no, it’s not that,” she said after regaining her composure, “it’s just that I made twice as much as you last year,” she looked down at the floor for a second, “And that was probably really rude of me to say, I just found it funny that you were acting so elite and what-not, and then it turns out I am making way more money.” She shrugged, “Guess the rich and powerful didn’t get that way by being big tippers.”

I blinked. This… I have spent my entire adult life practicing on the cello in the hopes of being the best, and then it turns out a… some mare from Ponyville makes twice what I do? Where is the justice in that? I was chosen to lead the Royal Ponyville Orchestra (Granted, that task might very well be impossible) and a performer in some tiny little backwater makes twice as much as me. "I.. I just have a salary, those of us playing in the Canterlot orchestra don’t get tips,” I said as I worked to steady my heart rate.

“Oh, well if it makes you feel any better, I don’t really make a salary. I just make tips and a small fee whenever Pinkie has a party that she thinks needs a musician. Which is just about every day,” Vinyl said, trying to placate me as she took
another sip from her coffee.

“Wait,” I said, focusing on just one word Vinyl said, “Pinkie? Is that the pink pony that is very high energy and has three balloons for a cutie mark?” I left out the fact that I thought she might have spawned in the deepest pits of Tartarus. That would have been rude.

Vinyl nodded and any hope I had that she was some figment of my imagination vanished, “Yeah, have you met her already? She can come off kind of strong, but she is super friendly and she will probably be your main source of work when you aren’t trying to, how did Princess Luna describe it in her letter, found the first Royal Ponyville Orchestra,” she rolled her eyes, “by the way, good luck with that.” Great, even she knew my job was impossible. Why even bother trying at this point?

I sat in silence, brooding over recent revelations as I finished off my coffee, which was burnt by the way. “So anyways,” Vinyl said, trying to break the silence, “I guess I should show you to your-”

Before she could finish her sentence, a grey-coated pegasus flew through our wall (Note: Find out why it is so easy for a pony to fly through our walls). “Oh hey,” she said, shaking the plaster and drywall off of her coat, “Are you the ponies whose stuff I am moving? ‘Cause I’ve got some good news and some slightly less good news.” She gestured to the cart that was hitched to her as she spoke.

I sighed, “What is the good news then?”

“Oh,” she said, her ears perking up at my question, “the good news is that I managed to save one of your boxes.”

I rested my head against my hoof, “Is the bad news that the rest of my belongings were lost or otherwise destroyed?”

The pony moved a hoof up to scratch her head, and I finally noticed that her yellow eyes were unfocused, with one eye looking at me while the other one just kind of stared off into space. It was unnerving. “How did you know?” she asked, “Are you psychic?”

“No,” I said, “just a very good guesser. Now what happened to the rest of my stuff.”

“Well, I was flying all of your stuff over here from Canterlot, and since Princess Luna said it was a rush job I thought I would fly over the Everfree Forest. Anyways, I was flying over the Everfree and there was this big storm, I flew around it, but I forgot that the back of the cart wasn’t secured, so most of your stuff is now scattered around the forest. Sorry.”

As I felt the weight of the cello strapped securely to my back, I thanked Celestia that I had had the foresight to bring my livelihood with me, “So what did you manage to save then?”

“Well,” she said, “you will be pleased to know that your box of muffins survived the long and perilous journey.”

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, “I don’t own a box of muffins.”

“Oh right,” she said, as she unstrapped herself from the moving wagon to claim the box of muffins, “In that case want to have some muffins with me? I will let you have first pick.

“Get out.”

“Wait!” She said, “Don’t you want me to help you unpack all of your stuff?”

“No, I don’t want your help, and I don’t have any possessions to unpack thanks to you. What else could you possibly do for me? I would joke and say that any further assistance might destroy my house, but you already beat me to that,” I said, gesturing to the hole she knocked in the wall, “The only thing you can do to help me is get out of my house.”

The grey pegasus’s eyes watered as she turned around and flew away, I grabbed the box of muffins and threw them at her as she left, “And take these with you.”

I stared at her as she flew away, positively fuming. A few seconds later I felt a hoof tapping me on the shoulder, “Hey, I know you are upset, but you really shouldn’t take it out on Ditzy Doo, she tries her best,” Vinyl said.

I fear that at this point I had lost my temper, “Her best? Her best just led to me losing a lifetime of possessions. Yearbooks, scrapbooks, pictures of family and friends, years of journals and notes, and Miss Minor, but apparently all that doesn’t matter because the moving mare did her best. Well her best just ruined me."

“Okay, who the hay is Miss Minor?” Vinyl said as I stormed past her.

“She was the only thing I had to remind me of my grandmother," for a second, my anger wavered and I felt the sting of tears in my eyes, if I lost my anger now I would be absolutely useless for the rest of the day. With as much poise and decorum as I could muster, I walked out of the house and closed (possibly slammed) the door.

I had been in the town for less than two hours, and already things were worse than I had expected. The pink nightmare was real and she lived here, all of my possessions were lost and presumably destroyed, and the stupid roads in this town weren’t even paved properly. Ponyville made the moon seem positively inviting by comparison, although I probably shouldn’t mention that to Princess Luna whenever I speak to her next unless I want to test that theory out first hand.

After leaving my new house, I headed around Ponyville looking for a shop that might possibly sell a journal and a few other necessities, which I finally found it in the store “Journals and Toiletries.” The proprietor’s cutie mark consisted of a quill and a tube of toothpaste, making me question both how one discovers that their special talent is selling specifically journals and toiletries and how one can make a sustainable business just by selling two completely unrelated items, especially when you give them away for free because a pony looks “new in town” (Although I was grateful for his generosity even if it was an incredibly bad business move). At the very least, Luna was right when she said the town was exceedingly friendly.

As soon as I opened the door, a chorus of ponies screamed “Surprise!” as confetti rained down from the ceiling. Before I could fully comprehend my what was happening, the pink one had popped up from nowhere, blotting out my field of vision, “Did we surprise you? Huh? Did we?” She asked, “Cause when I saw you entering into town today, I thought, now there’s a pony that looks like she could use some cheering up, and then I find out that you are new here and will be living with my FAVORITE DJ in Equestria, unless you are a DJ too, then I guess you are both my favorites. So anyways, I decided to get all my friends together, which is everypony, because everypony is my friend, and throw a 'Welcome to Ponyville Party' at DJ P0N3’s place, and…”

While she was speaking, I noticed that Vinyl Scratch was in the corner surrounded by speakers and a turntable thingey, blasting out some of the loudest techno “music” I had ever heard. Of course my roommate was a DJ as opposed to being an actual musician, and of course the pink one had decided to throw a giant party in my house. And not just any party, but a big loud obnoxious celebration, with lots of drinking, lots of cake, lots of yelling, lots of dancing, and lots of very loud noises (I hesitate to call the sounds Vinyl was making actual music, because music doesn’t offend the senses), while possessing absolutely zero good taste. And to top it all off, I was being subjected to one of the longest and least coherent rants to ever blight the ears of ponies.

“… So anyways, I am sure we will be the very best of friends, don’t you think buddy?”

She had finally finished speaking, and had moved to staring at me expectantly. Did she actually think I would so easily forgive her after she ruined my career and paved the path for my exile to Ponyville? Or did she not even notice how she had upstaged me at the Gala and garden party before ruining both events? In either case, I thought it was the proper time to tell the jubilant pony exactly how I felt,

“No, we are not best friends, we're not even friends. In fact I would go so far as to say we are enemies. You ruined the Gala. You ruined the garden party. You ruined two of the biggest performances in my career,” I said, punctuating every “you” by jabbing a hoof at the pony as her smile evaporated before my eyes, “My entire career has been ruined thanks to you, and now you want to be my friend? We will never be friends, and do you want to know why? Because I hate you. I hate you more I hate this stupid backwater town, and believe me, that is saying quite a bit.”

When I finished, the pony’s puffy hair had deflated and straightened itself out, and she ran out of my house crying. I would have laughed, but by that point, the music had cut out and everypony had turned to stare at me. Based on their very angry looking faces, Pinkie (was that what Vinyl had called her?) might not have been lying when she said everypony in town was her friend. Purple wings flared up from near Vinyl’s booth, and the ponies backed away to clear a path for… an alicorn.

Of course Equestria's newest princess saw me verbally eviscerate a pony, and based on the look she was giving me, she counted Pinkie as a friend of hers as well. “I have to check on Pinkie, but when I am done, we are going to have a nice talk Miss Melody," she said before she and four other mares stormed out of my house.

I’d like to say that I kept my calm under the angry stares of everypony in Ponyville, but that would be a lie. I lasted about a tenth of a second before bolting up the stairs and running into my room, which it turns out is not actually my room but is instead the room Vinyl stores all of her DJ equipment in. My room is presumably the last door on the left, but I fear that if I go outside I will be swarmed by enraged mob, so instead I think I am going to hide in here for the rest of the night, or quite possibly stay in here until I starve to death, as it would be less painful than facing the angry scowls of the entire town.

On the upside, after upsetting an entire town and royalty, I don't think I can reasonably expect things to get worse and things can only go up from here.

Day 3 - All Apologies

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After writing last night, I decided to pass the time by practicing my cello. Normally, I would try to get some sleep after such an evfentful day, but Vinyl's work room lacked a bed and was far too unkempt for me to even consider the idea of sleeping in it until I was at the point of passing out.

So, I passed the cello with a fevered intensity, channeling all of my frustrations over the past twenty-four hours and in doing so, quickly tiring myself out, until I was finally able to fall asleep curled up next to one of Vinyl’s loudspeakers, with one foreleg draped over my cello.

Shortly before dawn, the my actions in the outside world finally caught up with me when angry alicorn princess teleported into my makeshift bedroom. “You made Pinkie cry,” she said while glaring down at me, her wings flared out.

“Well yes, but she-”

Twilight cut me off, “I know, she ruined some of your performances, but she didn’t mean to. For her a party’s not a party unless it has confetti, balloons, cake, music, and dancing.”

“And that’s supposed to excuse her from ruining two of my biggest performances? The fact that she didn’t mean to?” I said, my sense of self-preservation still sound asleep.

“No, it doesn’t, and if you had brought it up with her in a less abrasive manner, I’m sure she would have felt terrible about it. You didn’t have to make her cry.”

“You’re right, I didn’t have to be so abrasive, I could have just smiled and nodded and THANKED the mare that drove me straight to a psychologist. Or maybe we could have sat and had a talk about how I had convinced myself she wasn’t real just so I could function without crippling panic attacks. That sounds far more reasonable than lashing out at the source of my nightmares.”

Her glare turned to a frown and for a brief second, I congratulated myself for giving her pause before I remembered that I had just argued with one of Equestria’s four princesses. In hindsight, it might have been better if I had just rolled over for her and apologized immediately.

“I… I didn’t know that,” she finally said, “Listen, I still think you should apologize to Pinkie, and for what it’s worth, I understand what it’s like to be infuriated by her, but the mare doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body and she really does just want everypony to be happy. Once you explain yourself to her, I’m sure she will do everything in her power to earn your forgiveness.

Despite her soft words, the look in her eyes made it abundantly clear that I was going to go with her to talk to Pinkie Pie, I was going to apologize, we were going to bond, and that I was going to like it. With a resigned sigh, I got to my hooves and followed her to the mare’s home, marking the second day in a row that involved an alicorn escort.

Twilight led me to the top of what looked like a giant gingerbread house. As we reached her room, Pinkie’s sobbing became audible. After some prodding on Twilight’s part, I knocked on her door. “Go away,” Pinkie wailed, “Nopony likes me, and I ruined a party.” She sniffled, “I am just a big old party ruiner.”

“Oh come now, Miss Pie, it was made very clear during my short time in Ponyville that you have plenty of friends. One pony not liking you isn’t the end of the world is it?”

Twilight shook her head emphatically at that as Pinkie spoke up, “NO! It’s not just that, I ruined a party. I ruined two parties. I am a party ruiner. I am a party ruiner and you hate me. Nopony has ever hated me before.”

I sighed. Of course this wasn’t going to be easy, “Well, I am here now, so let’s talk it over. Can I come in?”

The door opened just enough for me to enter, and the second I had passed through the threshold, the door slammed shut. “So, are you here to yell at me some more?” She asked, her cheeks stained with tears and her eyes puffy.

“No,” I said, trying to sound as sincere as possible, “I came here to apologize for how rude I was to you yesterday, you went through all of that effort and I was extremely ungrateful. It wasn’t my proudest moment.”

The pony broke down sobbing at that, “But you are right! I ruined the Grand Galloping Gala! I was invited to the mother of all parties, and then I went and wrecked it. And if I can’t throw a party, then what am I good for?”

And now she is flying off into hysterics, I thought with a sigh. I am beginning to suspect this pony has only two moods, euphoric and despondent. “Yes, you are right, you did ruin the Grand Galloping,” I heard Twilight coughing from the other side of the door, reminding me that if I messed up this apology I would have to deal with her. How reassuring, “But that doesn’t mean you are bad at throwing parties, and it certainly doesn’t make you a bad pony. It just means that some ponies have different tastes, and you just have to accept that ponies have different ideas of what is fun. For instance, nothing makes me happier than sipping a fine tea in the morning while listening to classical music or, if I am feeling more adventurous, performing for a large crowd of ponies. And for you, I am sure that sounds like an anathema.”

Pinkie had stopped crying at this point and had moved on to looking up at me while poking the ground with her hoof, “If you want to avoid ruining another party that is thrown in, let’s call it, ‘the Canterlot fashion’ I would be more than happy to teach you the finer points. On the condition that you accept my apology, of course.” I smiled at her, and much to my surprise it reached my eyes. It seems I was being sincere.

“Okay,” Pinkie said, “but can you ever forgive ME for ruining your entire career and getting you kicked out of Canterlot?” She said, her usual upbeat inflection beginning to return to her voice.

“Truth be told,” I said, moving to sit next to her, “I might have overstated your role in my exile. While it is true that your little outbursts didn’t help my career, I didn’t work hard to endear myself with my co-workers or employers and instead focused on cello. Perhaps if I hadn’t isolated myself in Canterlot, I might not have been given the honor of forming the Royal Ponyville Orchestra.”

“So you accept my apology?” She said, getting back up on her hooves.

I nodded my head in the affirmative.

“So can we be friends then?”

“Sure, I didn’t have any friends in Canterlot, and I certainly don’t have any friends in Ponyville at the moment, so feel free to consider yourself my one, only, and best friend.”

At the mention of the words “best friend” Pinkie perked back up and her hair reinflated itself, “Yay! We are best friends! I knew we would be best friends Tavi, and do you know how I know?”

Because everypony is her best friend, I thought.

“Because EVERYPONY is my best friend,” she said, wrapping her forehoof around my torso and squeezing me so hard I feared for a second that my eyes might pop out, “Oh! You don’t mind if I call you Tavi do you?”

“No,” I said, struggling for breath, “that is fine.”

“Great!” She said, letting me go to bounce up and down excitedly, “And now that we are best friends, I can get to planning the Tavi and Pinkie are Best Friends/Welcome to Ponyville Party/Sorry for Ruining the Gala Party! But don’t worry, it will be quieter! And classier! It will be so classy it will make the Grand Galloping Gala look like one of MY parties. Ooh, I bet I can convince Rarity to give the guests some fancy dresses! And the Cakes can make hors d’oeuvres! Wait, do cupcakes counts as hors d’oeuvres? Of course they do, it wouldn’t be a party without cupcakes!” As she spoke, she walked bounced, out of her bedroom. What fresh hell hath I unleashed on an unsuspecting Equestria?

Twilight stopped me as I exited the apartment, “You did well, I mean, I thought you would probably be able to help calm Pinkie down, but I didn’t think you could get her back to her bouncy self so… quickly.”

“So,” I said, glancing at the princess nervously, “you aren’t going to banish me to… wherever it is you would banish me to?”

Twilight blinked in confusion, “What? Why would I banish you? I wanted to hear what you learned about all this.”

Now it was my turn to be confused as I stared at the pony in front of me, “You just want to hear about what I learned?”

Twilight nodded, “Uh-huh. I used to send friendship reports to Princess Celestia all the time, and now I think I am supposed to help everypony else learn about the magic of friendship. So did you learn?”

“Well let’s see, I suppose I learned that I shouldn’t judge a pony before I get a chance to talk to them.”

“And…” She said, staring at me expectantly.

“And even if I feel that a pony wronged me, I should give them a chance to explain their side of the story.”

“You just rephrased the first point,” she frowned and continued to stare at me.

“And I shouldn’t lose my temper so quickly I suppose.”

“Well, that’s not perfect,” Twilight said, as we started heading back down to the ground level of the bakery, “but it is a good start and I am sure that if you keep at it you will learn as much about the magic of friendship as I did. Not to say that I have learned everything there is to know about friendship of course, I am still making new discoveries every day. For instance, today I learned that even if a pony comes across as rude and obnoxious on your first meeting, there might still be a good pony inside of them.”

“I am the rude and obnoxious pony aren’t I?”

Twilight nodded, “Yes, but I saw today that you are also a good pony, you just don’t know how to express it yet.” She smiled, “And believe me, I have seen worse things get rehabilitated.”

“Now you should probably get back to Vinyl’s place. I will work on convincing the townsponies to give you another chance,” she said before heading off down another street, leaving me to navigate the streets on my own.

The sun moved high in the air as I wandered back to my new house (Indeed, wander is the opportune word as I took more than a few wrong turns while navigating the town’s surprisingly labyrinthine layout), and ponies woke up and went about their morning routine, while quite a few shot me rather unpleasant looks.

As I approached my house, I saw a mare I recognized as Lyra Heartstrings, a mint-green unicorn, sitting on a bench playing her harp (Why did I ever think she was a lyre player?). She waved a hoof at me as I approached, “Hey, you must be the new neighbor I heard all about. Sorry I couldn’t make it to the party, Bon-Bon and I had planned out our date night, and well…” she blushed during the pause, “I really couldn’t cancel on that.”

I nodded, secretly pleased that at least one person in the town didn’t hate me, “It is quite fine, I am sure you will hear about how I made an utter fool of myself from somepony else.”

She looked me over as I climbed up onto the bench next to her, “Care to tell me about it?” Lyra was sitting on the bench in an odd fashion, with her plot resting on the bench and her back legs dangling off the seat while her back rested against the seatback (Also, I do not understand why Ponyville has benches, most parks in Canterlot just have clean slabs of granite with cushions on top).

“Not particularly,” I said as I moved to sit next to her, doing my best to get comfortable on it, “I got upset, made Pinkie Pie cry, and earned the enmity of everypony in Ponyville. As parties go, I’ve been to worse, but not many.”

Lyra laughed while playing her harp, “Good thing it happened in Ponyville then, as long as you try to make amends, most ponies will end up forgiving you, or at the very least not running you out of town. And I am sure if you apologize to Pinkie, she will try to throw you an ‘I’m Sorry Your First Party Failed Party.’” Either Lyra had some form of prescience or Pinkie was incredibly predictable in her own utterly unfathomable way. I am guessing the latter.

“Thanks,” I said, listening to her playing the harp, “It is a lovely morning.”

“Yes indeed,” Lyra said, “it is a wonderful morning for ponies to go outside and praise Celestia.”

I arched an eyebrow, “What?”

“Oh, it is just a little bit of a running joke for me. Today is Sunday, the day reserved for worshipping the sun. It’s an ancient tradition, back before the goddesses made themselves material, although references to sun worship are found in most cultures. Even human myths reference them worshipping a sun god,” Lyra said. If I was smart I would have just smiled politely and nodded, but for some unfortunate reason I felt compelled to ask what prompted her mention of ancient mythological creatures.

“I’m no scholar, but wouldn’t ponies just transfer their own ideas when creating myths about humans?” I asked, thinking I was just making polite conversation.

For a second, there was silence. Time itself slowed down as Lyra prepared her lecture. I could see the wheels turning in the back of her head, points flowing into points, “Well, a lot of people- er, ponies don’t believe in humans and think they are a folk tale, but I’ve spent the last four years studying anthropology, that is the study of humans, as opposed to equinology, which is, of course, the study of ponies. It’s actually really interesting as all evidence...”

I would like to make a quick note on how these journal entries are written if anyone out there ever happens to read this (unlikely). In my writing, I always strive to reflect reality as accurately as possible. While I am sure there are plenty of things that I omitted, if something makes an impression upon me or if I spend some time dealing with someone then I will do my best to record that interaction as I recall it. Of course, there are some deviations: conversations are cleaned up, events are condensed, and miscellaneous/unimportant details are excised, although I suppose the first two imply the third. I bring this up now because I spent the next three hours listening to Lyra describe every facet of human civilization. For my own sanity I will not recount every detail of that conversation, and will instead work on recording her main points and things that interested me.

Based off of Lyra’s description, humans are or were (there is some controversy amongst anthropologists about whether or not humans still exist) naked monkeys that could stand up on their hind legs. Much like ponies, humans mastered the spoken and written word, and much like ponies, they managed to spread to every corner of the globe. Miss Heartstring spoke for some time about the similarities between humans and ponies, drawing attention to their tool use and ability to communicate. However, unlike ponies, they did not seek a natural equilibrium with nature and instead sought to conquer it. She theorized that this difference was caused by the absence of proper deities like Celestia and Luna in their society. On the other hoof, this constant expansionism also allowed them to accomplish great feats like building a ship and piloting it to the moon and creating massive cities of glass and steel and even splitting the basic building blocks of the universe to power their world.

“Now, I bet you are wondering how humans managed to conquer the world without magic,” Lyra continued several hours later, “Well, they were expert tool users, and they invented machines to do the jobs they couldn’t do or fill in a role for them. They needed to cut food, so they made knives; they needed to move faster, so they made the wheel and tamed the horse (Lyra described these creatures as primitive ponies that lacked our intellectual abilities); they needed to keep warm, so they made clothes and built fires. Humans invented farms and houses and tools and made great works of art and music. In fact, I think many of the musical instruments we have today were originally designed by humans. A harp just doesn’t make sense unless you have hands to play it with, and hooves are very poor substitutes. There are plenty of items in Equestria that wouldn’t make sense if they were designed by ponies, but the most interesting thing is that we have thimbles. Thimbles! They don’t make any sense unless you have thumbs. In fact, I wrote an entire paper about the significance of thimbles in anthropological studies. It was rejected.”

Yes, humans are the only explanation for the fact that a majority of Equestrian tools are unusable to earth ponies and pegasi, it certainly couldn’t be that unicorns designed their tools to be unusable by the other races so they could secure the dominance at the top of society. Not that I am bitter about people assuming I was a lesser musician than my unicorn counterparts because I couldn’t manipulate objects as finely as they could. That would be silly.

“So then,” Lyra went on (and on), “if we are surrounded by human tools, then where are the humans at? Well, many professors have spent a great deal of time thinking on that question and they have come up with a variety of different answers, some crazier than others. I think the craziest one I heard was espoused by Professor Cassie Truth, who argues that all of Equestria is just a dream created by humans and the prevalence of human creations in our society is just a footprint they left behind. She even says that some ponies believe in humans because humans find it amusing to have some of us know the truth. Of course, I think that’s completely crazy.”

“You have a better idea?” I asked, checking to make sure I hadn’t lost the ability to speak over the last several hours.

Lyra nodded, “I think they are aliens who visited ancient pony societies and gave our ancestors incredible knowledge. That explains why we use their tools without resorting to any crazy theories like our entire world was created by them for their own amusement.”

Because aliens are a far saner solution.

“You see, I think humans mastered space travel and eventually discovered our world. They observed us for years, studying our primitive pony societies, and during a time of great crisis, they gave us aid, allowing us to survive and eventually prosper. Everypony alive today owes a debt to those ancient human astronauts.”

Before she could continue, a cream coated pony with a blue and pink mane came out of the house behind us and approached Lyra, “Good morning Lyra, have you been up for too long?” She said, taking a seat next to her marefriend.

“Oh, a little bit, sorry for not waking you. I got up at nine, thought I would play outside for a little bit, and while I was playing my harp I ran into our new neighbor,” she pointed a hoof at me, “We got to talking and I might have lost track of time.”

The new pony looked sympathetically in my direction, “She didn’t bore you talking about humans did she?” She asked as she kissed Lyra on the cheek, “I love Lyra, but she occasionally gets carried away talking about humans and forgets that not everyone shares her interest. You should hear her when she starts talking about the varying styles of harp playing and how to best manipulate a telekinetic field to mimic the movement of fingers.” She sighed playfully at that.

Lyra blushed, and I felt a need to defend one of the few ponies in town who didn’t currently hate me, “Oh no, it was quite an interesting little lecture,” I said, “I love hearing about fringe Equestrian history.”

The mint colored pony smiled appreciatively at me, “Really? You weren’t bored? Most ponies just kind of ignore me when I start talking, and nopony ever says my lectures are interesting. Let me loan you one of my books on anthropology, I am sure you will love it.”

Before I could raise an objection, the pony had darted off into her house. The cream colored pony spoke up, “So, did you really enjoy the lecture or were you just being polite?”

“I enjoyed parts of it,” I said, laughing, “But mostly I was just being polite.”

“What parts did you enjoy?” she asked.

“I enjoyed the fact that humans were able to conquer their world without using magic. They managed to thrive because of their ingenuity.” It was true, I did enjoy that part. A shame that humans never existed.

Bon Bon shrugged, “Hmm, alright, I am just glad Lyra found someone else to talk with about humans besides me,” she moved her voice to a whisper, “she isn’t exactly the most popular pony in town because of her… peculiar interests. Anyways,” her voice went back to normal, “My name is Bon Bon.”

I smiled, “A pleasure to meet you, miss, I am Octavia Melody, but most ponies call me Octavia.”

Bon Bon smiled as Lyra came back out of her house with five books floating beside her, “Well Octavia, I am sure we will be seeing each other in the future.”

I nodded my head as I struggled to secure the books Lyra had given me, cursing myself for not bringing my saddlebag with me before Princess Sparkle marched me out of my house at the crack of dawn. But then, I couldn’t have expected somepony was going to loan me a small library of books on Equestrian legends before I managed to make it back to the house.

A minute later, I was back at my new home, and had dumped the books on anthropology on the table. Not out of any desire to be rude of course, but using one hoof to keep them secure on my back was incredibly challenging, and I didn’t particularly feel like hopping up the stairs with them. I then proceeded to brew a cup of coffee, and sat staring at it for an hour while trying to process my morning before eventually concluding that Ponyville was much stranger than I had initially suspected. Somehow.

As I finished drinking my coffee and mulled over the day’s events, I heard hoofsteps coming from upstairs. Seconds later, Vinyl descended the steps while rubbing sleep from her eyes, “Oh hey, how long have you been up?” She asked as she moved towards the coffee maker.

“Seven hours” I mumbled, pushing the empty cup of coffee away from me.

“Woah, didn’t think you would get up so early considering that you slept in my DJ room. Ya know your bedroom was just across from that room right?”

I nodded, “I did, but I really didn’t want to show my face outside last night after I lost my temper.”

“Yeah, a lot of ponies were pretty upset last night,” she said, “But they will forgive you in time, at least most of them will. What have you been up to today?”

“Oh, the usual. Started my morning off with an angry alicorn yelling at me, was forced to make peace with Pinkie Pie, and then I had the only other musician in town talk to me about humans for a couple of hours.”

Vinyl just glared at me as I realized my mistake, “I mean, I had the only other classically trained musician in town talk to me about humans for a couple of hours,” I said, laughing nervously.

“See,” Vinyl said, “That is why I am not mad at you. You aren’t intentionally malicious, you are just an utter moron with almost zero social graces, and I am gonna guess you have a very long history of shoving your hoof in your mouth.”

Great, Vinyl didn’t hate me, she just pitied me. Much better.

“I resent being called an utter mo-” I started to say before Vinyl cut me off.

“Don’t get the wrong idea, I am sure you are smart when it comes to books and learning and stuff, but when it comes to people you are as dumb as Twilight was.”

“Wait, Twilight?” I said, confused, “Do you mean Princess Sparkle?”

“Uhmm.. yeah, I guess,” Vinyl said as she moved over to the table, cup of coffee floating by her side, “But back when she first came here she was just Twilight, and she still doesn’t like ponies bringing up her whole princessness. She just wants us to think of her as Ponyville’s librarian. Anyways, when she first moved here, she was pretty bad with ponies and actually went to sleep in the middle of her own welcome party. Twilight has gotten a whole lot better about dealing with ponies and friendship stuff since then.”

“So what are you trying to say?” I asked, unsure of where this conversation was heading.

“Oh right,” Vinyl said, putting down her cup of coffee, “What I am trying to say is that if you were actually a bad pony I would be kinda mad, but you are just a bit… uneducated when it comes to interacting with ponies. Seems to be a trend with you Canterlot mares.”

“And what do you mean by that?” I asked, shooting Vinyl a glare.

“Well,” she said, “most of the mares from Canterlot seem not to have the best social skills. I mean, there is you, Twilight, Lyra when I first met her, and like… half the ponies at Celestia’s Academy for Gifted Unions.”

“Wait,” I said, suddenly unconcerned with Vinyl’s insinuations, “What were you doing at Celestia’s Academy for Gifted Unicorns?”

“Oh, I went there for four years on a music scholarship. That is where I first met Lyra actually.”

I frowned; of course my DJ roommate went to the most prestigious academy in Equestria, while I was denied on the grounds of ‘not being a unicorn.’ Hooray.

Vinyl continued, “Actually, Lyra and I were roommates during my first year at the academy. Then, junior year, she didn’t have any plans for Hearth’s Warming Eve, so I invited her to come with me to Ponyville. Then she met Bon-Bon and a few weeks later the two of them were dating, and once we had graduated, we moved back to Ponyville. The town kind of grows on you,” Vinyl grinned sheepishly at that, “and most ponies that come here find something to keep them here. Lyra found Bon Bon, Twilight found her friends, and I was raised here. After a few years, no other town in Equestria can measure up.”

Great. The way Vinyl described it Ponyville was some sort of all devouring black hole that captured unsuspecting ponies and refused to let them leave. I would have to finish my job quickly before the town managed to get its hooks in me. “So what exactly does your, admittedly impressive, academic history have to do with me being socially oblivious?”

Vinyl facehoofed, “See, that’s it. You focused on the entirely wrong thing. I was trying to tell you about Ponyville’s charms and you just focused on the fact that I went to the Academy. It’s like ponies from Canterlot have some problem interacting with other ponies.”

I continued to glare at Vinyl as she took another sip of her coffee, “So what you are trying to say is…”

“You need to socialize and get out of your shell, and to do that, you need a friend.”

Fantastic, I had picked up two friends in one day. One was an insane party pony and the other one was my friend because she pitied me. For some reason I don’t think the basis for a healthy friendship consists of a manic desire to be friends with everypony and pity, “So you just want to be my friend because you pity me?”

Vinyl laughed at that, “No, I want to be your friend ‘cause when you’re not super mad or putting your hoof in your mouth you are a pretty decent pony, and I think a friend might help that decent mare get out more. That and you have a nice plot.”

“Wait? What?” I said, feeling my cheeks redden at the unicorn’s sudden remark.

“I said you are a decent pony who needs a friend, no need to blush over it.”

“No, not that part,” I said, “I meant the part you said after that, something about me having a ‘nice plot’.”

“Oh, that, I said you have a nice plot. It probably has something to do with all that time you spend standing on your rear legs while playing the cello. I mean… if I had to guess.”

I felt more and more blood rushing to my face and an almost overwhelming urge to hide under the table that was hindered only by the knowledge that doing so would show off my flank, which was, apparently, so very well developed.

“Wow, you are really blushing,” Vinyl said, “You look like you have never received a compliment before.”

“Oh no,” I said, struggling to keep my composure, “I have received plenty of compliments. Ponies have complimented my musical ability, my intellect, my excellent diction, just never any of my physical attributes.”

“Really?” Vinyl asked, somewhat incredulous as she finished her coffee, “Not even from a special somepony?”

“No,” I said, “But I never had a special somepony. The closest I came to it was an intimate conversation shortly after the Gala and that...” I shook my head, “It wouldn’t have worked out.”

“So, no special someponies then?” Vinyl said while levitating the coffee cups to the sink, “Yeah, I guess I could see that, probably too busy practicing, I mean, if you never really had any friends, then a special somepony is just right out.”

Vinyl’s uncannily accurate analysis of my romantic life was making sure my blush wouldn’t dissipate anytime soon and I felt myself sinking under the table. Still, I don’t see how my lack of a special somepony would be that much of an issue. There were more important things to do, and I wouldn’t become the best cellist in Equestria by spending time developing a relationship.

“Anyways, that is how I see things. You need a friend and someone to show you the ropes, and I have a lot of free time. I will see if Lyra and Bon Bon are interested in going to Berry’s Bar later tonight.” Vinyl said decisively as she trotted out of the house, presumably to find Lyra and her marefriend. I pouted, fetched my cello, and went to my room (my proper room this time as opposed to Vinyl’s DJ-torium). If I was going to be forced to go out, I could at least get a few hours of practice in before I left.

A few minutes later, Vinyl knocked on the door, “Hey Octavia, we are going to be headed out around 7:30, so be ready to go by then.”

“Alright,” I said, before going back to my practice. The next several hours passed all too quickly, and I soon found myself having to get ready for our trip to the bar. While it was tempting to go out to the bar without properly grooming myself, I was a Canterlot mare and would not lower my standards just because I was in Ponyville. Soon enough, my mane and tail were styled, my collar was freshly starched and my bow tie was straight. If I might be so bold, I looked quite nice.

As the sun set and the clock struck 7:30, I left my room properly groomed and ready for a night on the town, my first night out in… well, ever, actually. While I might detest Ponyville (which I very much do), the idea of spending time with ponies and having fun had a certain allure I found hard to resist. I might even have smiled as I walked downstairs and nodded my head at Vinyl, “Ready for our night out?” I asked, feeling a twinge of excitement infect my voice.

“Yep” Vinyl said as she opened the door, she had abandoned her usual goggles and even made an attempt to style her mane. Her attempts to groom herself had paid off, and she looked decent, in fact, one could make a convincing argument that she looked quite lovely.

“So then,” I said as I reached the main floor, “Shall we go and meet Lyra or will they meet us?”

“They will meet us outside,” she said as she opened the door, “And then we will head out to the bar. In fact…”

Our neighbors exited their house at the same time we did, and Lyra and Vinyl waved at each other, “It seems we are both right on time,” Vinyl said.

During the walk to the tavern, Vinyl and Lyra reminisced about their university days with Bon Bon occasionally sharing a story about one of Lyra’s misadventures. Most of the stories seemed to focus on Lyra dragging everypony to Anthro Con. She insisted that everyone (not everypony) had a good time, and Vinyl eventually admitted that the dance was one of the best DJing gigs she had ever had while Bon Bon just… blushed. I decided not to pry.

“Hey Octavia,” Lyra said after their conversation ended, “What did you do at the academy, I am sure a pony like you would definitely get a scholarship. I mean, you got to play for the Grand Galloping Gala at the age of like… what… nineteen?”

Lyra knew that I played for the Gala but couldn’t figure out that I didn’t go to the academy? What a strange mare. To answer her question, I pointed a hoof at my head and said, “It’s the Academy for Gifted Unicorns, making me quite ineligible for admission.”

“Oh right,” she replied, grinning sheepishly, “So what did you do instead?”

“I practiced the cello and worked to get accepted into the Royal Canterlot Orchestra, I succeeded, was accepted at the age of seventeen, and I was hoping to make first chair in five years but am instead here on a fool’s errand to create the Royal Ponyville Orchestra.”

“Wow,” Lyra said looking at Vinyl, “You were right, this mare really does need to let her mane down some.”

“You told her that?” I said, glaring at Vinyl, and for the first time since I had met her, the mare turned away and looked properly embarrassed.

“Oh hey, look at that, we’re here,” Bon-Bon said, breaking the ensuing silence, “Shall we go get a drink or two?”

We entered into what looked to be an old fashioned soda bar, but after Vinyl went and exchanged words with the proprietor, a pony with a light purple coat and grapes for her cutie mark, we were led downstairs to an old brick basement packed with ponies drinking while a musician played on stage. If I didn’t know any better, I would have said it could have been one of the bohemian bars that were so popular in Manehattan. Not Canterlot, but certainly not Ponyville.

My friends (strange using that word) walked down the stairs to greet their fellow ponies while I followed after them timidly, afraid of how the other Ponyvillians might react to seeing me. Coming here after alienating so many ponies was a very foalish decision I thought, cursing my own stupidity. Thankfully, most of the ponies were so wrapped up in their conversations they failed to notice me. Lyra ushered us into a booth in the far corner of the room, and I made a note to thank her for picking a location that was so far from other ponies.

As I took a seat, Lyra spoke up, “So Tavi, what’s your poison?”

There was a pause as Vinyl and Bon Bon turned to me before I realized that Lyra was speaking to me. I really hope the nickname Tavi doesn’t stick but I suspect it will. “Oh, uhmm, I don’t know, I have never had a drink before, so I suppose… wine?”

“Yeah, okay,” Lyra said, trying to suppress a smile, “I will go ask the bartender what vintage he would recommend for a first timer,” she turned to Vinyl and Bon Bon, “You two want the usual?”

The two other ponies nodded their heads as Lyra trotted off to the bar. I decided to say something, “So, this bar is quite nice. I didn’t suspect Ponyville to have something so cultured.”

Vinyl gave me a look to remind me that my hoof was currently in my mouth, and I smacked my head with my forehoof, “Right, sorry, no offense was intended.”

They nodded their heads at that and Vinyl said, “ I appreciate the fact that you tried to give the bar a compliment even if you kind of failed miserably at it, just remember our talk about putting your hoof in your mouth.”

“Anyways,” Bon-Bon said, trying to get me out of hot water, “How are you liking Ponyville so far Miss Octavia?”

Vinyl shot me another look before I could respond, and I smiled, hoping to assure her that I wasn’t planning to insult Ponyville further.

“During my brief time here, this town has managed to surprise me. I was expecting to find a backwater town with no redeeming features, and while Ponyville might not be as sophisticated as Canterlot, the locals are generally friendly until you upset them, and the town itself possesses a rustic charm I didn’t expect to find. While I don’t understand entirely why Celestia wanted to base the second Royal Orchestra here, I can certainly see why so many ponies find the town appealing.”

My roommate grinned at that and enthusiastically patted me on the back, “Keep saying stuff like that and we will make a proper Ponyvillian of you yet.” Oh joy.

“So, what is the story behind this bar?” I asked while we waited for Lyra to return with our drinks.

“Oh that,” Bon Bon said, “Berry Punch, the owner, her special talent is mixing drinks, well, mixing and consuming drinks to be honest, and since Ponyville didn’t have a proper bar, she decided to build Berry’s Bar. It serves as a regular soda shop during the day but at night ponies can come downstairs for an evening of ‘wine and merriment.’”

While she spoke, Lyra returned from the bar, a tray of drinks levitating besides her. “Alright, Vinyl and I have got the beers, Bon Bon has the margarita, and for Octavia, a bottle of of the houses finest port.” The bottle floated to the table while Lyra levitated a glass of wine in my direction, “I took the liberty of pouring you the first glass.”

I nodded my head as I took the glass from her, “Much obliged Miss Heartstrings,” I raised the glass in the air as Lyra took her seat and Vinyl scooted next to me, “Cheers.”

The other ponies raised their glasses at that, and I took my first sip of wine. It wasn’t bad. Obviously, I am no connoisseur, but it left a pleasing taste on my tongue that didn’t drown out the taste of the alcohol. “It’s good,” I said to nopony in particular as Vinyl and Lyra took large pulls from their pints.

Vinyl belched, “Glad to hear ya like it. Now when you go back to Canterlot you can tell the folks you know there that the best glass of wine you ever had was in Ponyville.”

“Yes, and I’ll be sure to tell them that it was Ponyville that drove me to drink in the first place,” I said, smiling.

The two of us laughed at that and I took another sip from my drink, “So, how did you get a scholarship at Celestia’s Academy for Talented Unicorn’s?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

Vinyl shrugged, “I am good at music, and they are always looking to get some fresh blood; it’s part of their diversity drive to get unicorns who don’t come from Canterlot. I didn’t really feel like going since they didn’t offer any programs for DJs, but my parents convinced me it would look good on a resume and that at the very least it would expose me to some new types of music. They were right too; all the exposure to classical music was a huge inspiration for my fusion project.”

“Your fusion project?” I asked, unsure of what such a project entailed and wondering how classical music fit into the DJs repertoire.

“Yeah, it is this thing where I take two different songs, put them together, and see what comes out. Most of the time it is utter garbage, but with a bit of tweaking and blending you can get something really beautiful to emerge that combines the best of classical music and modern-day pop. You haven’t lived until you have heard Tsyolin paired with BBBFF.”

I nodded my head unfamiliar with the last five letters she had mentioned, “Well, I would certainly love to hear some of the fusions you have created. It sounds interesting, at the least”

Vinyl laughed. “Sure thing,” she said, “Keep up the sweet talk and I will show you where the magic happens.”

I blinked as my roommate poured herself another glass of beer, “Sweet talk? I was just expressing interest in your project.”

“It’s a joke Tavi. I thought it kind of sounded like… uhh, you know what, never mind.”

“Whatever you say Miss Scratch,” I said as I followed her lead and poured myself another glass of wine.

“So,” she said, “where did you go to school at?”

“I didn’t, the only academy around is Celestia’s, so if you aren’t a unicorn then the odds of getting a higher education are decidedly slim. I had to teach myself how to play the cello properly.”

“Really?” Vinyl said, fascinated, “But I heard you playing this afternoon and you sounded really good. I mean, you sounded better than a lot of the cellists at the academy.”

“Thank you,” I said, smiling at her compliment, “You are far too kind and a terrible liar, I know I wasn’t in top form this afternoon and there is no need for you to flatter me.”

“But I am not lying, you sounded good. No, you sounded great, and besides Tavi, you know I am not the type to spare your feelings.”

She had a point, I thought as I recalled some of our earlier conversations. Still, her sincerity didn’t change the fact that my work this afternoon was subpar. “Again, I thank you for your compliments and I am sorry for accusing you of dishonesty, but my work today simply did not measure up.”

As I spoke, a familiar lavender alicorn walked down the stairs with a white unicorn following behind her. I recalled the white unicorn being at my party yesterday; her purple mane was intricately styled and hard to forget. In fact, I think I recall seeing elsewhere, but I can’t quite place it. The two ponies looked around and after seeing our table they headed directly towards us, “Hide me,” I said, turning to Vinyl.

“Nothing to be afraid of,” she said resting her hoof on my foreleg, “Just be friendly and polite, and I am sure everything will work out fine.”

Twilight smiled as she neared our table. “Hello Octavia,” she said, her voice surprisingly friendly, “How was your day?”

I laughed, trying to cover my fear, “Better than yesterday, I was actually having a drink with my friends Vinyl, Lyra, and…” As I spoke I waved a hoof in the direction of the three other ponies only to find that at some point during the conversation Lyra and Bon Bon had vanished. “Uhmm… just Vinyl, I suppose. Anyways, my day has been surprisingly pleasant.”

“I am very happy to hear that,” Twilight said enthusiastically, “Pinkie Pie took a train to Canterlot this morning in an attempt to study high society parties. She is taking this new party very seriously, so I hope you enjoy it.” I wasn’t sure if her last words were meant to be a threat or just simple well-wishing, however I decided it would be for the best if I made it a point to follow her advice.

The princess continued, “Now, I have spent the whole day talking about you to my friends and explaining to them that we might have misjudged you, so with that in mind…” She gestured to the unicorn next to her.

“Oh, yes darling,” the unicorn said, speaking on cue, “I am having a reception for some of my larger clients Wednesday, and I thought having a respected Canterlot musician perform for the party would be quite the coup, so I was hoping you might be interested.”

I was a cellist for the Royal Canterlot Orchestra on a mission from the Night Princess, I was not going to debase myself playing for somepony’s reception.

“I can pay you eight thousand bits,” she said.

“I would love to perform for you and your friends.”

“Wonderful,” the unicorn said, clapping her hooves together excitedly, “I will expect you at three o’clock, and feel free to help yourselves to the hors d’oeuvres.”

I nodded and smiled at the mare (She later said her name was Rarity), and after a few more minutes of small talk, she and the princess turned to leave the establishment.

It was also around this time that I finished half a bottle of wine, and, not knowing how alcohol affects me, decided it would be perfectly fine to keep drinking. In hindsight, this was a rather foalish idea. Vinyl and I spoke a bit more about our musical histories, and she further explained the details of her fusion project. In her research on musical theory (She actually researched musical theory), she noted that the greatest symphony and the worst musical dreck were still composed of the same basic pieces, with the only differences being the order of their placement. Taking this idea, she quickly decided that instead of creating new pieces (which were just combinations of old notes in her view), she would take old songs, mix them together, and create new music that way. After she explained herself, I quickly found myself reconsidering my earlier appraisal of her as a common DJ. My story of playing the cello until my hooves bled seemed quite dull in comparison.

“Where did Lyra and Bon Bon go to?” I asked, finally growing concerned about the two ponies’ disappearances.

“They’re on the dance floor,” Vinyl said, pointing a hoof towards a cleared out area next to the stage where a large number of ponies were dancing. After searching for a few seconds, I saw the mint-green unicorn and the cream-colored earth pony dancing, their bodies and arms intertwined, their lips pressed against the others. The way they pressed themselves against each other and moved in harmony, they almost looked like one pony.

“Yeah, they kind of get like that after a drink or two and a little music. It’s really kind of cute how affectionate they are.”

Cute? It was downright revolting the way those two were acting in public. While I have no qualms about what two consenting ponies do in the privacy of their own home, such a display in public is an altogether different matter, and I found myself staring at the two ponies for far too long, a fact Vinyl managed to pick up on.

“Whoa Tavi, stop eyebanging them, it’s kinda creepy,” Vinyl said, breaking my concentration and pulling me back to reality.

“I… I wasn’t ‘eyebanging’ them, I was just shocked that two ponies would care so little about those around them that they would engage in such a flagrant display of affection, it is uncouth.”

“Yeah, well… whatever. What do you want to do that doesn’t involve staring at Lyra and Bon Bon until they disintegrate?”

Perhaps it was the three-quarters of a bottle of wine I had finished off or the surprisingly infectious jazz melody coming from the stage or some combination of the two, but my response was quite impulsive and more than a little foolish.

“Let’s dance,” I said, bolting up and pulling Vinyl to the dance floor alongside our two roommates (who were STILL acting inappropriately). While our dance lacked the sophistication and elegance of a Canterlot waltz, it was… fun. Our bodies moved with the music, and after a few minutes, the two of us had developed a surprising synchronicity as we improvised our way through the song. Nothing was rehearsed or choreographed, and we just reacted, letting the music take us where it wished. It was actually quite wonderful.

When the music stopped I looked around to see most of the ponies had stopped dancing and were instead staring at Vinyl and I. If I had been in my right mind I would have grinned sheepishly and backed away, apologizing for upstaging everypony. However, I was pleasantly intoxicated, and if these ponies wanted to see a show then, by Celestia, I would give it to them. But first I’d need a cello.

As if on cue, a familiar pink pony popped out of… somewhere, with my cello case in hoof. “Here you go,” she said cheerfully.

“But… what… I thought you were in Canterlot,” I said, my mind trying to process how this pony could be in two places simultaneously.

“Silly Tavi, whenever a party needs helping, Pinkie Pie will be there to keep it rolling, and I could tell this party needed your cello,” with that she vanished into the same place that spawned her.

The physics-defying pony had momentarily shattered my confidence, but I had my cello with me and it would be a shame if I didn’t put on a performance after Pinkie Pie broke several physical laws to help me play.

“Fillies and gentlecolts,” I said, taking center stage, “I give you the classic Canterlot Cello Sonata No. 3,” I could see my crowd sigh at the announcement and I smiled, “With a twist.”

Now, the original piece had a slow melodious start, reminiscent of a brook in spring, and gradually built itself up until the piece became an all-encompassing wave (This is an embarrassing confession, but I have always had a problem describing the way music sounded to the untrained ear). However, while the original work is certainly a masterpiece, I doubted my crowd would appreciate such a slow pace, and so I modified it. The slow string work that started the piece off transformed into a fast frenetic sawing, more evocative of a life or death chase than a babbling brook, causing the resulting piece to be less “classical Baroque” and more “modern jazz.”

I hit the notes I needed to hit and used one of the greatest cello solos in Equestria as the basis for a freeform jazz piece. I felt dirty. The crowd loved it. Soon ponies were stamping their hooves to the music, and when the piece drew to its conclusion, the place exploded with applause. I bowed, packed up my cello and left the stage.

“That was great Tavi.”

“What piece was that?”

“Can you play at my child’s markmitzvah next week?”

“Bravo.”

“Fantastic.”

“You played like a human!”

I nodded my head at the last comment, “Thank you, Lyra.”

“I mean it, you used your hooves like they were hands, I have never seen anypony do that! Teach me?”

“Oh, well I will try,” I said as I rejoined my friends, “But I am not sure I can. I was born with abnormally flexible hooves and that is the main reason I can play the cello.”

“Hoof hands!” The pony gasped, “Bon Bon, Octavia has hoof hands. I have a friend who has hoof hands!”

I made a mental note to ask her what hoof hands were when she wasn’t so ecstatic or… I looked over to where the pony had bounced off to, now busy making out with Bon Bon. Before I could further contemplate the specifics of hoof hands, another hoof patted me on the back, “That was… definitely the best cello performance I have ever heard. Could I get some recordings of your cello work for my fusion project?” Vinyl asked.

“Well, that depends,” I said, as we moved back to our booth.

“On what?”

“On two things. The first thing is you need recording equipment.”

“And the second thing?” Vinyl asked.

“The second condition is that I want you to keep me from making an utter fool of myself while I am in Ponyville.” I know, it’s sappy and silly, but in my defense I had just finished off my first bottle of wine.

Vinyl grinned, “Sure thing Tavi, I think I can do that.”

“Then it’s decided,” I said jubilantly, “I will help you with your fusion project and you will help keep me from offending everypony in town.”

“I think you might be getting the better end of that deal,” Vinyl said.

“Oh, I absolutely am,” I said laughing.

After that, the night gets… blurry. I remember dancing on top of a table at some point, and I remember Vinyl and I heading back to the house sometime after Lyra and Bon Bon galloped out of the bar excitedly to do… Celestia knows what. Then I remember the two of us starting up some sort of impromptu jam session with me on my cello and Vinyl doing DJ things (I don’t know how exactly she has it make sounds, I just know she gets it to make a noise of some sort). As the night turned into morning, I got increasingly intoxicated, and the last thing I remember before tumbling into unconsciousness were my lips pressing against Vinyl’s.

Shit.

Day 4 - Laying the Groundwork

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It is difficult for me to pin down exactly when I woke up the next morning as I spent either several seconds or an eternity feeling as if my head had been ripped open and completely unable to form a conscious thought. Eventually, the throbbing in my head subsided enough to allow me to string words together.

So this must be what being hung-over feels like, I dimly noted. I should probably be worrying about what in Equestria I got up to last night and the very large gaps in my memory, but all those things could wait while I slept it off and enjoyed the warmth of the other mare in my bed.

My eyes snapped open. Oh no.

I looked around, I was definitely in my room, making for a marked improvement compared to yesterday, but unfortunately, that victory was spoiled by the fact that a strange mare was definitely cuddling me. What did I do last night? I vaguely recalled kissing somepony right before I completely blacked-out, but did I do more? That didn’t seem like something I’d do, but then, I normally wouldn’t dance on a table, drink two (or more) bottles of wine, or wake up in bed with somepony. It couldn’t be that bad though, I thought. The worst case scenario is that I slept with some mare I barely met, we have an awkward breakfast, and I never see her again. Things could definitely be worse.

I turned to face the mare next to me and immediately noted her striking blue mane and far too familiar purple goggles. Yes. Things could definitely be worse. I quickly disentangled myself from my roommate, and poked her with my hoof several times in the hopes of waking her. She groaned and rolled over to face away from me, “No, it’s too early. Give me a few more minutes.”

I was about to yell at her to get up, but decided that in my current condition, making any sort of loud noise would be a bad idea. “Vinyl,” I said, whispering as softly as possible, “Get up, you are in my bed.” She refused to budge.

All of the other ideas I thought of to wake my roommate up had the distinct drawback of requiring me to make noise, and so I decided to drop the issue for the time being and go about my day as quietly as possible.

This started with me spending several hours writing yesterday’s events in my journal and getting a horrendous hoof-cramp in the process (Note: Stop making excessively long journal entries. Nopony will read them but you). After that, I wrote out a timetable for my forming the orchestra, and decided the first thing I should do was enlist the aid of the town in my task as I had no idea how to advertise the fact that I was forming an orchestra to all of Equestria. Hopefully the town government would make itself useful in that respect, I thought as I headed out the door.

An hour later, I found myself on the border of the Everfree Forest, wondering just how I could get so completely lost. I could understand getting lost in the labyrinthine streets of Ponyville proper, but heading to the outskirts of town when I meant to head to the center of town is another thing entirely. The only civilization I could see was a cottage in the distance surrounded by a truly exorbitant number of small fluffy creatures. While I briefly considered introducing myself to whatever pony lived there and asking for directions, I was distracted by a familiar grey pegasus darting in and out of the Everfree.

I cleared my throat when she got close in the hopes of getting her attention, “Uhmm, hello Miss Doo, what are you doing out in the Everfree today?”

The pegasus stopped upon hearing my voice, or more accurately, she tried to stop before crashing into the tree line. A few seconds later she reemerged from the forest, covered in pine sap and tree branches, waving cheerfully at me, “Hi there Octavia, what brings you all the way out to the Everfree?”

“Well,” I said, “This is rather embarrassing, but I actually meant to go to the town center. However, I seem to have gotten rather turned around.”

“Wow,” Ditzy Doo said, landing in front of me, “I know I can get a bit lost at times, but I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that lost,” she rolled her eyes, creating an altogether unnerving effect, “Oh, except for that time I went north to get the southern birds, or that time when… actually, you know what, I have totally gotten that lost before. Anyways, you are kind of going the exact opposite of the way you should be going.”

“I realize that, Miss Doo. I was about to head back towards town, but thought I would see what you were doing all the way out here.”

“Well, it was supposed to be a surprise,” she said, rubbing the back of her head, “But after the other day, I felt so bad about losing all of your stuff that I started retracing my path to find it. I already found two of your boxes,” she said, smiling enthusiastically.

That was… legitimately unexpected. I had already made peace with the fact that most of my possessions were lost forever, and had actually meant to apologize to the pegasus for being so rude to her. Only a few irreplaceable things were lost, and while their absence stung, it didn’t excuse my poor behavior. Still, her move to make amends greatly enhanced my appraisal of her.

“Thank you, Miss Doo. Might I ask where those boxes are?”

“Uh-huh,” she said, “They are in my house, it’s right next to the town hall so you can’t miss… actually, I will guide you there.” With that, she flew back up in the air and headed back into town, while I followed, grateful to have a guide back into Ponyville.

“This is my house,” she said, after we had made our way back into town, pointing a hoof at a small two story cottage, “Well… it is my house and the Ponyville Post Office. Most of the stores in town double as somepony’s home.”

“Of course,” I said, “Is there any chance I could pick the boxes up later this afternoon? I need to speak with the mayor first, and I would prefer not to carry the boxes all around town.”

“Sure!” Ditzy Doo said, “The door will be unlocked and the boxes will be right next to the door, so just walk on in.”

I nodded my head at that. There was a brief silence, and one of Ditzy’s eyes tried its hardest to do a complete rotation around her eye socket. “So,” I said, “I should really be getting to the mayor’s office.”

“Okay, it’s over there,” she said pointing towards a very tall building right next to her.

“Of course it is,” I mumbled under my breath. How could I have missed the tallest building in town? Thankfully, I managed not to get lost as I walked the thirty feet between Ditzy’s house and the town hall.

“Can I help you?” The receptionist asked as I walked through the front door, not looking up from her paperwork.

“Yes, I would like to speak with the mayor on matters regarding the Royal Ponyville Orchestra.”

The mare looked at her schedule, “Hmm, I don’t see anything about the Royal Ponyville Orchestra on the itinerary for today, and I haven’t heard anything about it either, but I would be more than happy to make an appointment for you.”

“Wonderful,” I said, “When does the mayor have her next opening?”

“Well, she is free now, but you aren’t on the schedule for this week. The best I can do is schedule you for early next week.”

As she spoke, a part of my mind I don’t tend to listen to imagined just how satisfying it would be to throttle the life out of this mare, but unfortunately, that option would be counter-productive. Instead, I opted for a more diplomatic (and less satisfying) solution. “I have been sent here by the Royal Sisters on urgent business, and need to have a performing orchestra ready by the time of the Winter Moon Celebration. But if you are sure she can’t see me for a week, I am sure you can write Princess Luna and explain that to her.”

Before I could finish the last word of my speech, she pointed me in the direction of the mayor’s office. Amazing what throwing around a little clout will do. I knocked on the mayor’s door.

“What is it now, Miss Tape? I am very busy.”

“Not too busy to speak on the subject of the Royal Ponyville Orchestra,” I said as I entered into her office.

“Oh, Miss Melody,” she said suddenly getting up on her hooves, “I didn’t expect you to come find me so soon, the letter indicated you would be taking some time to get to know our little town better.” Why in Equestria would Luna’s letter mention that? And why didn’t she tell me she was sending the mayor a letter?

“I have spent the last two days getting to know Ponyville, Mayor…” I looked around her desk for some indicator of her name, “Scroll. Now we have a lot to do if we are to have anything resembling an orchestra ready by the time of the Winter Moon Celebration, so we really can’t afford to delay. I am planning to have auditions this Friday and I am going to need your help spreading the word to the general populace. What are your suggestions?”

Based on the way the mayor’s legs were shaking, she seemed to think a majority of the blame for the orchestra’s (inevitable) failure would fall on her. I found myself in no hurry to dispel such a notion, “Well… obviously, we will need to let every musician in Ponyville-”

“And beyond,” I interjected.

“Of course, every musician in Ponyville and beyond needs to know about the auditions, I suppose we should… put up flyers. Yes. Flyers. That should help spread the word.”

I narrowed my eyes, “Flyers. That would make a wonderful addition to the advertisements you will be taking out in papers across Equestria.”

“Oh… uhmmm… yes, of course we will take out advertisements in newspapers. I am so glad that Celestia sent smart enough to know that such an important step was obviously implied. I will take out an ad in the Ponyville Gazette at once, and as for the other papers…”

“Once the other papers get word of the fact that Princess Luna is basing her orchestra in Ponyville, they will be sure to carry the story. When they interview you, and they will interview you, be sure to mention that the auditions will be this Friday at noon and that all aspiring classical musicians should come. After that, they will spread the word for us.” After the last two days, I enjoyed being in a situation where I wasn’t the only one dealing with certain doom ( Speaking of doom, I must not forget I still have to talk with Vinyl when I get back home).

After I was confident that the mayor would do what she could to spread the word of the Royal Ponyville Orchestra, I returned to Ditzy Doo’s house to claim the possessions of mine she had recovered. I somehow managed to balance the boxes on my back, and a short time later, I was walking through the front door ready to spend a few hours unpacking.

“Hey there” Vinyl said, as I jumped backward at the unexpected sound and sent my boxes tumbling to the ground.

“Oh, let me help you with that,” she said, easily grasping the boxes with her telekinetic field and levitating them up to my room. Sometimes, I hate unicorns.

“So,” I said as Vinyl came back downstairs, “About last night…”

“Yeah, that was fun, wasn’t it?” She said, smiling enthusiastically.

“Well, the things I remember were certainly fun at the time, but my problem is that I can’t exactly remember everything we did,” I said rubbing the back of my head.

“Then, what is the last thing you remember?” Vinyl took a seat at our dining room table while I moved to sit across from her.

“The kiss.”

She let out a sigh of relief, “Oh, well you didn’t really do much after you kissed me, you just mumbled about how I am the only one that understands you, and then how you are so lonely, then it got really incoherent, and then you fell asleep.”

First of all, I would never say any of those things, and I certainly wouldn’t make the first move, and second of all, “Why were you still in my bed when I woke up?”

“Oh yeah, that would be… well… I did try to leave, but you kept freaking out and saying you needed someone to talk to, and I was pretty drunk too so I thought I would just sleep there. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but yeah… I can see how you might get the wrong impression about things.”

Lies and perfidy! I would never say anything like that. I certainly wouldn’t confess to needing somepony to talk to, that’s… I’ve spent my life on my own, and I never needed anypony. That’s completely against my character.

“I… no, that can’t be right. I would never kiss somepony like you or babble like that. This… you must be misremembering things.”

“Wait. You are accusing me of lying?”

“Misremembering.”

“Misremembering, lying, whatever. You would accuse me of making something up because it doesn’t fit with your view of yourself? You’d accuse the pony you called ‘your best friend’ last night of misremembering things when you were so black-out drunk that you couldn’t even REMEMBER what you did last night? And what do you mean somepony like me?”

And I had almost gone one entire day without shoving my hoof in my mouth. Damn it. “Yes… well, that is a very simple… there is a simple explanation. I merely meant to say that I… After all, you are just a…”

What? She was just a DJ? I certainly thought that when I first met her, but she had proven to be quite talented at her craft, and she was no less an artist than I was, even if her instrument was rather pedestrian. So what was my problem with the idea of kissing her? It shouldn’t even count considering I could barely recall the night, so why in Equestria was I getting so upset?

“It’s… I am sorry, I haven’t contemplated the idea of being intimate with somepony in quite some time, and to find out that I would completely ignore my reservations after a few drinks is somewhat startling.”

Vinyl tapped her chin, contemplating what I had just said, “That still doesn’t explain what you meant by ‘somepony like me,’” she said.

My answer did completely ignore that question, didn’t it? If I knew what in Equestria I had meant by saying that, I would be more than happy to tell her.

“I… I honestly don’t know,” I said, sighing as I rested my head on the table, “During the past two days you have proven to be the best friend I had ever had, and your patience in dealing with me is commendable. Yes, I did look down on you for being a DJ initially, but on closer inspection, you seem to bring an artistry to the craft that I thought impossible. So, I don’t know.”

Her expression softened when I finished speaking, “Tavi, has anyone told you that you are a magnificent idiot?”

“Yes, you, constantly over the past two days.”

“Oh yeah,” she said, smiling, “But only because someone has to keep that ginormous ego of yours in check. I mean, you are just so detached and standoffish, it’s like we are talking to a wall. The only time you’ve opened up and talked with ponies and been kind of cool was when you were drunk.”

That wasn’t a fair assessment, I have been quite cordial with everypony I have met in town, barring a few notable exceptions, and I even tried to make amends with those ponies I had wronged. “I admit, I can be a bit more… reserved than the average pony, but that doesn’t mean I am not friendly. I just prefer behaving in a professional and dignified manner.”

Vinyl facehoofed, “That is the problem, Tavi. It is fine to be all prim and proper when you are doing work stuff, but when you are with friends, and I don’t know that if you count us as friends, but when you are, it’s okay to let your mane down. If you don’t ponies might think you are intentionally keeping them at foreleg’s length.. ”

Did my excessive formality push ponies away? No, of course it didn’t, I just cared about presentation, something most ponies these days seemed to neglect. So what if I was the last proper pony in Equestria? That doesn’t mean it is wrong, it just means that I have higher standards than other ponies. Right?

I stared at my roommate. I wanted to say something, but I felt wrong. It felt as if a wound had been ripped open inside of me, and I was struggling to find out what caused it. The only thing I was sure of was that I would not let Vinyl see me have one of my episodes. “Excuse me,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even, “I have to go to my room.”

With as much dignity and poise as I could muster, I stood up, walked up the stairs, and went into my room. Vinyl might have said something as I left, but I wasn’t listening. After that, the façade broke, and the sobbing began. I had been doing so well too, it had been months since the my last hysterical sobbing episode, but this time I could not figure what had prompted it.

I flopped over on my back and stared at the ceiling, tears running down my cheek. Was it Ponyville? My move here had been rather stressful, so it was plausible, but the town was the last thing on my mind when my last incident occurred. On the other hoof, I had been acting out far more since I came to Ponyville, so the idea that this episode was related to my other outbursts wasn’t inconceivable.

There had to be a solution, I thought as I closed my eyes, replaying the events of the last few days in my mind, looking for connections between my outbursts and stimuli. Vinyl was present for all of these outbursts, but all of the ones except for today had led to me becoming absolutely infuriated. Today was the first time I ever had one that ended in me weeping. Perhaps I was getting too involved in the situation. If so, my new friends might undermine my ability to do my-

Vinyl’s words came rushing back to me, and the timeline dissolved. She was right. She was absolutely right. Just then, I had called upon the old standards of propriety and professionalism to justify pushing away the only friends I had ever made. The realization made my chest feel as if it were about to implode. Still, I thought as I began to regain my composure, the situation was salvageable. I hadn’t managed to alienate everypony in town yet, and quite a few of them still wanted my friendship, like Vinyl, Lyra, Bon Bon, and even Pinkie. Yes, I made a mess of things in Canterlot, but I had a fresh start here. And to start that, I would have to swallow my pride and apologize to Vinyl. I crawled out of bed, calmed myself, and headed downstairs.

“Vinyl,” I said as I reached the landing, “I am… sorry. You were right.”

“What was that?” She asked, pretending not to hear me.

“I said, ‘you were right.’ I do tend to push ponies away and not express myself unless I am properly incensed or intoxicated, but I would like to get better about that.” I smiled slightly, “And I would like having a friend like you to help me out.”

My roommate smiled, “The answer was yes last night, and it hasn’t changed since then. Besides, you are super fun when you get drunk.”

“Well, my goal is to one day be a bit fun without having to be drunk.” I said, sitting down next to her.

She chewed her cheek in thought, “We might have our work cut out for us, but… yeah, I think we can do that.”

“And about the kiss?” I asked.

Vinyl shrugged, “It is what you want it to be. I mean, it’s not the first time I got kissed by a drunken mare. If it makes things awkward between us then just forget about it.”

“I think that forgetting about it is easier said than done, Miss Scratch.”

“That is up to you, but for me, personally, I would rather not start up a relationship because you got drunk. Anyways, it isn’t that big of a deal; we all do silly things when we are drunk.”

I tried to think of some clever response, and while I deliberated, Vinyl spoke up, “If all that is settled, what are we gonna do today?”

“Truthfully, I thought I was done for the day. I have spoken to the mayor, we sorted out last night… in a sense, and now I plan to write down the day’s events and practice the cello.”

Vinyl yawned, “Yeah, that is boring. I have a gig tonight, you’re coming with me.”

I narrowed my eyes, “I highly doubt your audience would be all that interested in listening to a string piece, and I definitely don’t think they would be able to hear me over the raucous.

She nodded, “Definitely, so it’s a good thing you are going as a guest and not a performer.”

“Oh, well, I do have a lot of writing and practice to do tonight, and I would hate to get behind on it,” I said, “So have fun with your party, try not to be too noisy when you get back.”

Vinyl shook her head, “Nope, you’re going.”

“But… but I have to practice for the orchestra.”

“Tavi, you are quite possibly the best cellist I have ever heard, skipping practice for one night won’t undo years of training. No excuses, you are going.”

I sighed and mumbled some things I would rather not repeat under my breath. Still, I thought it would probably be good for me to get out and socialize a bit more, and going to support Vinyl seemed like something a friend would do (In this one particular instance, I am not going to go to every party she has to DJ for, that would be far too time consuming).

“Alright, what time is the party?” I asked.

Vinyl looked at the clock mounted on the wall. It was a quarter until five, “About an hour, but I need to get there early to set up, so we should probably leave about… now.”

She got up and headed towards the door.

“Excuse me, don’t you need to bring your DJ stuff?” I asked, looking upstairs.

“Oh… uhh… no, they have most of the equipment and stuff over there already, I just need to show up.”

“Alright,” I said, following her out of the door. I don’t know how DJ things work, I would never perform without MY cello, but I suppose DJs are a bit more flexible. Besides, those setups would be an absolute nightmare to carry around and pack, and I highly doubt it would be possible to move them without a team of ponies or one very talented unicorn. I decided to ask about that.

“Vinyl, how do you move all of your DJing equipment anyways? It seems rather cumbersome.”

“Well,” she said, “The stuff you have seen so far doesn’t move at all. That is my work station. When I have a party, I have a smaller set up that I can get through doors a bit more easily. Also, Pinkie is really good about making sure I have a turntable when I need one.”

“Yes, she does seem to have an… uncanny ability to keep a party supplied with everything it needs.” I recalled the incident last night where she managed to manifest out of nowhere with my cello, and wondered again how the pony could so casually disregard the laws of physics before deciding that the answer would probably be more confusing and impossible than the question. Pinkie Pie did not play by the same rules as everypony else and probably didn’t even play the same game.

After a few more minutes of walking, we reached what looked to be a library that was built inside of a tree. Ponyville architecture is odd. “What type of party do they have in a library anyways?” I asked.

“Well, it’s not entirely a library, it’s also Twilight’s house,” she said as we moved to the door.

“You mean to tell me that Princess Sparkle lives in a library? You will have to pardon me if I find that a little hard to believe.”

“It’s true,” Vinyl said, knocking on the door five times, “Of course she lived here long before she was a princess,” she said gesturing to the sign, which read “Golden Oaks Library” with the words “And Royal Palace of Princess Sparkle” hastily painted below it. Of course the Princess of Ponyville would live in a library.

“Anyways,” Vinyl said, “Why don’t you go in first?”

I nodded at her to thank her for her courteousness, opened the door, and…

Damn it.

A large banner hung down, with the words “Welcome to Ponyville Octavia” written on it in a poor imitation of cursive. The palace/library was packed with ponies clad from head to hoof in elegant formal wear, while a string quartet sat in the corner, somehow managing to play music without making a sound, and the hors d’oeuvres consisted of cupcakes with a caviar frosting. Pinkie popped up from the floor with her hair straightened and a manic grin plastered on her face. She stared at me expectantly.

So this is how I die then. “Pinkie, what are you-“

She cut me off by making a shushing gesture, her other hoof pointing to a sign over the buffet which stated there was to be no talking in the designated party area. When I looked back at Pinkie, she was holding up a sign reading: Since your last party was too loud, I wanted to make sure this one was extra quiet and super fancy. I even went to Canterlot to see the finest parties in Equestria.

I mentally facehoofed, “And did any of those parties have a no talking rule?”

She shook her head.

“Alright then,” I said, trying to be as diplomatic as possible, “While I appreciate the effort, I have no problem with conversation and fine music at a party, I just don’t like it when all of those things are so overpowering you can’t hear yourself think.”

“Oh,” she said, before turning back to the other party goers, “You can talk everypony!”

The other guests let out a sigh of relief, and in seconds the library was filled with the sounds of muted conversation and classical music. I could hear Vinyl snickering behind me. “And Pinkie, why are you serving caviar to the guests.”

“Simple! I read a book all about fancy parties all over the world, and caviar is considered the finest of delicacies in the Griffon Kingdom.”

“You do realize that caviar is made of fish eggs, right?”

She nodded enthusiastically, “I sure did, but I also know it is super fancy, so I purchased a bunch of soy caviar. It goes really well with the humus cake.”

Soy caviar cupcakes? Humus cake? I wasn’t sure if I would start sobbing first or retching.

“That sounds…” I had to be diplomatic; I couldn’t risk Pinkie having another episode, “Good.” I am not a diplomatic mare by inclination, nor am I a skilled liar.

“Great!” She said as Vinyl and I took our seats, “I got you some,” she pulled a slice of cake out of… somewhere, and put it on the table in front of me while staring expectantly. My stomach churned. “Go ahead, have a bite.”

I grabbed the fork nearest me, and, not wanting to offend my gracious and slightly unbalanced friend, took the tiniest bite of cake possible.

“Mhmm… it’s,” I felt bile rising up my throat, “Good. In fact, it’s so good I am going to save it for later. So I can savor it properly.”

She stared at me for a few seconds, “Okey-dokey-lokey,” she said, apparently satisfied, before bouncing away.

I let out a small sigh of relief. Hopefully, she wouldn’t force me to try any more concoctions she had made up. Vinyl reached out for a bite of cake, and I briefly considered warning her before remembering she was the one who brought me to this party. I smiled at her, “It’s actually quite good.”

She took a bite and her face immediately turned a shade of green not seen in nature, “This… I think I was poisoned.”

I nodded at her, “Yes, well, you did lie to me to bring me to this party so I found it only fair that I lie about the quality of the food.” Sadly, I doubt Vinyl heard me as she sprinted out the door. In hindsight, my prank might have been ill advised.

Since I was here and being forced to enjoy myself, I got up and walked over to the drink bar. Pinkie hopped over towards me. “Ahh, Pinkie,” I said as she approached, “What do you recommend to drink?”

“Ooh! Well, Berry made her special punch, and that is just yummarific, but we also have some sparkly champagne and regular punch for the fillies at the party,” she gestured towards three younger fillies who were going around harassing everypony at the party. The unicorn in the group locked eyes with me, and before I could react the three of them had me surrounded.

“Ooh! Are you Octavia?”

“I don’t recognize her.”

“She sure looks fancy.”

“Look at her cutie mark, even it looks like fancy.”

“How did you get it?” All three of them said at once.

I looked around for any assistance, but it seemed Pinkie had vanished into the ether leaving me to fend for myself, “Well… my cutie mark is a treble clef. I got it when I realized my special talent was playing the cello, and to answer your first question, yes, I am Octavia Melody.”

“Ooh! What is a cello?” The unicorn asked.

“Ah think it’s like a breadstick with cinnamon and stuff on it,” the yellow earth pony with a bow in her hair said.

I felt the urge to rub my forehead grow, “No girls, a cello is like… Well, you know what a violin is right?”

The three nodded their heads enthusiastically.

“Well, it is kind of like a big violin.” It wasn’t technically a lie, just grossly inaccurate.

“Ohhhhh!” All three said at once. Their ability to speak simultaneously was rather uncanny.

“Well why didn’t you just say you play a big violin?” The orange pegasus asked.

“Because,” I said, doing my best to prevent myself from bashing my head against the wall, “They aren’t the same thing. While there are some aesthetic similarities, they aren’t the same thing. It would be like saying a unicorn is just an earth pony with a horn on her head.”

The three were quiet for all of three seconds before the unicorn (Who bore a striking resemblance to the unicorn from the other night) spoke, “Maybe we can get our cutie marks in classical music!”

“Cutie Mark Crusader classical musicians. Yay!” All three of them cheered, before running off to do… something that couldn’t be traced back to me hopefully.

Finally free to choose a drink, I considered pouring a glass of Berry’s Special Blend, before deciding not to have a repeat of last night. Taking a cautious sip of the non-alcoholic punch, I was surprised to find that it had a rather pleasant taste, in stark contrast to the “food” Pinkie had prepared.

I sat back down at my table, surprised to see that Vinyl hadn’t returned in my absence. Perhaps letting her sample Pinkie’s baked bads might have crossed a line in terms of what constitutes a friendly prank. I should probably ask somepony about that before I returned home to face the wrath of an angered roommate.

Those things could wait though, the music was lovely, my drink was delicious, and even though the food was completely detestable, I was quite content. I even found myself smiling as I looked around at all the happy party patrons (and the patrons who didn’t have the good sense to avoid the food). Before I could slip any further, I found a familiar white unicorn approaching, “Hello darling, how are you finding the party?” She asked in her rather peculiar accent.

I nodded at her, “The music and drinks are lovely, the food is… one of a kind.”

“Yes,” she said laughing, “They certainly don’t serve food like that in Canterlot, or anywhere else actually.” It seemed we were of one mind on the subject of Pinkie’s rather “special” hors d’oeuvres selection.

“I hope you don’t mind me asking,” I said, “But are you from Ponyville?”

“Of course I am,” she said, “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, no reason,” I said, taking a sip of my punch, “You just don’t seem like the typical Ponyvillian, You seem to have more in common with some of the mares I know in Canterlot than the ones in Ponyville.”

She laughed, and it seemed utterly impossible to tell if her laugh was genuine or another affectation like her accent, “You are too kind dear. I’ve always said I was a Canterlot pony at heart, and it is nice to hear a mare from Canterlot agree with me.” She tipped her head towards me, “And it occurs to me that we haven’t been properly introduced. I am Rarity.”

I nodded my head before her before her, “A pleasure Miss Rarity, I am Octavia Melody, but please, call me Octavia.” I actually found myself liking this unicorn. She had the same sense of propriety I did, and we both possessed a love of Canterlot. If she hadn’t already offered to pay me a truly staggering amount to play at her soiree, I would volunteer to do it for free. As it was, I would consider lowering my fee.

“Now Miss Rarity, while I have your time, I would like to ask if you have any requests for the event you have planned Wednesday, many clients are rather particular about what songs should be played.” That was true, many clients were particular, but I had never dealt with clients before. Still, I didn’t see why my new friend should know that.

“Hmm,” she said, tilting her head in though, “Truth be told, I am not that familiar with classical music, so I will leave that matter in your hooves. However, I do need you to have enough material to play for between three and five hours.”

Five hours. That was, without a doubt, the longest I had been asked to perform. It was doable, of course, I had had practice sessions that were longer, but it would still be quite the marathon. My plan to offer Miss Rarity a discount quickly evaporated. “Of course,” I said, bowing my head, “that should be no problem; although I do hope I will be able to rest my hooves intermittently.”

“Oh, yes, of course. That is absolutely fine,” she said, “please feel free to enjoy yourself. I am sure my guests will absolutely love you.”

I had heard some horror stories from fellow musicians who had played for the elite of Canterlot. Many held twelve hour parties and only paid if the musician played for the entirety. It was precisely to avoid those types of situations that I had decided not to do private performances, but if I could find more clients like Rarity I would be happy to change that policy..

“I am pleased to hear that,” I said, “Many patrons in Canterlot are far less generous than you.”

“Yes, I have had… dealings with the Canterlot upper crust; a few are quiet pleasant ponies but most are decidedly not.”

I had to laugh, “That, Miss Rarity, is an understatement if I have ever heard one. They are vain ponies who have no original ideas of their own.”

“Yes, they might be just a mite self-absorbed, but if you really get to know them, they are quite… No, they are still terrible.”

We both chuckled at that, “Anyways,” she said, “it was lovely finally getting the chance to meet you Octavia, but I must go and speak with Fluttershy. Poor thing won’t talk to anypony she doesn’t know. Until we meet again.”

There were five (maybe six) ponies in town who I had something approaching friendship with, and I actually liked three of them. It had been a busy couple of days, I thought as I drained my drink. Next, I had to go and meet the rest of the town and convince them not to hate me, and the party seemed a prime opportunity..

Most of the ponies in town were more than willing to give me a second chance, and a few ponies even expressed interest when I told them about the orchestra. There were a few holdouts who were hesitant to give me a second chance, and I remember a pony with a carrot as her cutie mark glaring at me every time I looked at her. Still, most of the ponies in town were more than willing to forget about my outburst.

As I made the rounds, I tried to avoid Princess Sparkle, but she was determined to talk to me, and she soon had me cornered, “How do you like your party so far Octavia?”

I bowed before her, “The music and accommodations are lovely your highness, I thank you for allowing Miss Pie to use your… palace.”

She snorted laughing, “Please, just call me Twilight, Octavia, and there is no need to be so formal, I am just like anypony else. But I am glad you like my ‘palace.’”

‘Oh yes, of course Princ- err… I mean, Twilight, I…” I needed to think of something to say so I didn’t seem like an idiot, “Do you like books?”

Swing and a miss. Still, she didn’t seem to notice the glaring stupidity of my question or was polite enough not to call me on it, “Yes, I love books. I have spent quite a bit of my income collecting rare tomes from all of Equestria. If you are interested I will show them to you some time.”

“That sounds absolutely delightful, Twilight. I always love a good book. In fact when I am not practicing my cello I have my head in a book.” Like most good lies, it was technically true. I do spend most of my freetime with a book, but the book in question is my journal.

“Wonderful,” she said smiling enthusiastically, “I love Ponyville, but there aren’t a lot of literary ponies around here, so it is great to have a book buddy. What books have you been reading lately?”

I hadn’t read a book cover to cover in a year, and now a royal princess wanted me to discuss my literary recommendations with her, it was time for me to improvise. “Ohh, this and that, I have been meaning to read A History of the Unicorn Kingdoms, but I haven’t had the time to pick up a copy.”

“Well, I would be more than happy to loan you my copy of it, this is a library after all, but you have to tell me what you think about Star Swirl the Bearded. Just find me before you leave the party.”

“Oh, I will be happy to Twilight, and thank you for loaning me your copy.”

“Well, this is a library. I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t loan you a book.” Of course the royal princess of… something or another was more concerned with loaning ponies books than focusing on her duties, although, to be fair, it was perfectly possible that lending books were a part of her royal duties.

Twilight and I spoke a bit more, with our conversation vacillating between classical literature (her forte) and classical music (my forte). It seems that the two of us have a mutual love of baroque music, and we spoke at length about the composers and musicians of the era. Her interests gravitated towards the role of the conductor and composer, and she professed an interest in the role of the conductor in the orchestra, before stating that the conductor’s responsibilities seemed similar to her role in the Winter Wrap Up festivities, whatever that is.

After we finished speaking, I went back to introducing myself to the denizens of Ponyville, and generally doing my best not to shove my hoof up my mouth, which is easier said than done. However, I somehow managed not to offend anypony else during the course of the party, and, barring the absence of Vinyl, the evening was rather pleasant. I continued to worry over my roommate’s prolonged absence, and so around eight I spoke with Miss Pie.

“Oh! Hiya Tavi, are you enjoying your party?” She asked, bouncing excitedly as I approached her.

“The evening was quite charming Miss Pie, but alas Vinyl is feeling rather under the weather, and I feel the need to make sure she is doing well,” I neglected to bring up the fact that Vinyl wasn’t feeling well because I let her eat Pinkie’s cake.

“Oh…” Her smile faltered for half a second, “Well, when she gets better I will be sure to throw her an ‘I’m glad you are feeling better’ party. I bet she will just love it.”

I did my best to smile, “I am sure she will, Pinkie, but I really must be going now. Thank you again for the lovely party.”

“No problem. Don’t forget your cake,” she said point at the mostly uneaten cake sitting in the center of the buffet.

“Oh, I won’t, but…” I had to think of something clever to say, “Since the party is still ongoing, I feel it best to allow the guests to eat their fill of it. I will pick up the remainder in the morning.” I had no such intentions of letting that monstrosity inside my house, but my answer placated Pinkie and allowed me to slip away from her. I then picked up the book Twilight had loaned me and proceeded back home without further incident.

When I entered back into my house, I found Vinyl curled up into a ball on the couch, her face still tinged green. She pointed a hoof angrily at me, “You! You did this to me.”

“I am glad to see you too, Vinyl,” I said, doing my best to keep calm.

“Oh Celestia!” She said, clutching her stomach, “You… why did you feed me that poison?”

I could have lied and said it was a popular taste in Canterlot. It wasn’t entirely false; humus was popular amongst the nobility. In hindsight, it probably would have been easier if I lied, but for some reason I had decided that friends should tell friends the truth even if the truth is incredibly stupid. “I… well I thought it would make for a good prank,” I said, lowering my head, “If I had known you would have such a strong reaction to the humus cake, I would never have done it.” It might not have been the easiest option, but telling the truth helped assuage my guilt for a few seconds.

“You…” She groaned in pain, “You poisoned me for a joke?”

“I didn’t expect you to take such a large bite of the cake, and if I knew what would have happened, I would have chosen a tamer joke,” my frown grew, “I’m sorry, I just thought that a friendly prank…” I shook my head, unable to finish the thought. “Allow me to make it up to you.

Before she could respond, I had gone upstairs to sort through the boxes Miss Doo had recovered for me earlier in the day. At the bottom of the first box, I found the small black satchel I was looking for. Opening it, I prayed that the contents hadn’t been destroyed in the fall, and was pleasantly surprised to find the vials still intact. I picked up the satchel and carried it back downstairs.

“Grandma Philharmonic made her fortune in brewing and selling herbal remedies and she taught me a bit about her process. It is really quite interesting, combining separate ingredients to make a brew that has properties possessed by none of the constituents. In some ways, I suppose it is like your Fusion Project.” I talked to Vinyl while I mixed the concoction. If I followed my grandmother’s directions correctly, the resulting drink would cure any stomach ailment. If not… well then I would have poisoned Vinyl twice in one night.

My roommate didn’t seem inclined to respond as she clutched at her stomach in agony. At this point, I was 80% sure she was exaggerating the extent of her illness. “Drink this,” I said, offering the drink to her, “It should have you feeling better in a few moments.”

Vinyl tentatively sniffed at the drink, apparently wary of accepting any more gifts from me. “It smells awful,” she said.

“Yes, I will admit that it’s not particularly aromatic, but it works wonders on an upset stomach. I remember, one time, I had the worst stomach bug of my life, and thought for sure I was going to die. My grandmother made this drink for me and I was back on my hooves in an hour.”

She sighed and took the drink from me. A few seconds later, she had downed the concoction. “It tastes awful too,” she paused for a second, “But my stomach does feel a bit better now.”

“I am happy to help,” I said as I brought the mug back into the kitchen, “Get some rest and I am sure you will feel better in the morning.”

“Thanks Tavi,” Vinyl said as she levitated a blanket over to her, “But you know I am still going to have to get you back for poisoning me in the first place right?”

I smiled as I walked upstairs, “Of course Vinyl, but reprisals can wait until you are feeling better. Good night.”

After that, I went into my room and wrote out the day’s events. Since I purchased this journal two days ago, I have managed to fill up almost half of it. Here’s hoping that the next few days can find some semblance of normality.

Addendum:

I awoke several hours later to what sounded like a mare moaning in pain. My first thought was that Vinyl was still feeling the effects of her humus cake. However, I quickly decided this theory was incorrect as the moans were not coming from below me. Before I continue, I must explain that Vinyl’s house shares a wall with Lyra’s house, and my bedroom shares a wall with Lyra’s. Seconds later, I realized the pony making the moaning was most definitely not in pain, and I fled the room to give my neighbors their privacy, I heard Bon-Bon scream something about Lyra’s magic fingers

Day 5

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Thank Celestia, I finally had a day that didn’t involve me dealing with crazy party ponies, ditzy mail mares, and the soul crushing knowledge that I was wasting my life on a fool’s errand wasn’t in the forefront of my mind. It was my first good day I had since the whole Ponyville ordeal started.

Of course, the day didn’t start well, it started with me leaving my room to avoid overhearing my neighbors as they engaged in… a rather intimate activity, let’s say. After leaving my room, I decided to sleep downstairs as Vinyl had recovered enough from her food poisoning to go to sleep upstairs, allowing me to have the living room to myself.

An unknown number of hours later, I awoke to the sound of hoofsteps coming from upstairs. Had I slept in so much that Vinyl of all ponies was able to get up before me? I checked the clock, it was still late morning.

“Hello,” I said as Vinyl came down the stairs.

“Oh, hey Tavi, what are you doing sleeping down here?” She asked.

“Ugh, I- Lyra and Bon Bon were rather loud last night and so I decided to give them their…”

I stopped speaking as I noticed Vinyl struggling to suppress a grin.

“You knew?”

She burst out laughing and nodded. After she was able to regain her composure, she spoke, “Yeah, as a DJ, I have to keep my house pretty well sound proofed, and since I still needed to get you back for poisoning me, I thought I would dispel the soundproofing spell on your room. I am glad to see they came through.”

I shoved my head into the sofa cushions, “That’s… that’s not fair. How am I going to be able to look Lyra and Bon Bon in the eyes after overhearing their escapades?”

Vinyl shrugged as she sat next to me, “Everyone else in town seems to manage just fine.”

“Wait,” I asked peeking up at her, “You mean everyone else in town has heard them get up to… that?”

She nodded her head, “Yeah, you remember when Nightmare Moon returned during the Summer Sun Celebration?”

“Of course,” I said, “Everypony remembers the day the sun failed to rise.”

“Well,” she said, “A lot of ponies thought that the end was imminent, and Lyra and Bon Bon thought that since the world was about to end, they might as well go out with a bang, so the two went off somewhere they thought was secluded, and…” She trailed off, allowing me to fill in the blanks, “Well, needless to say, it wasn’t as secluded as they thought, and the whole town heard them going at it. It’s kind of funny in hindsight, but I wouldn’t go reminding them of it.”

I shoved my hooves into my ears, “That is obscene Vinyl, I can’t believe they didn’t leave town after an event like that. How could you go outside knowing that everypony you will meet has heard you having…” I threw up my hooves in disgust, “I don’t think I could go outside after something like that.”

Vinyl laughed, “Well they didn’t go outside for a while after that, and believe me, there was a lot of speculation about what they were up to, but they eventually went back to their daily lives, and most ponies were more than happy to not bring up the incident. It was the end of the world after all.”

Lyra and Bon Bon’s initial friendliness towards me made more sense now; they had both been humiliated in front of the entire town and had finally found someone who didn’t know about “the incident.” It must have seemed like such a relief to them, and then I went and overheard them anyways. I suppose I would just have to follow the advice of the rest of the town and pretend it never happened. For their sakes, of course.

“So, we’re even now?” I asked Vinyl as I finally got out of my makeshift bed.

“Sure,” she said, “You poisoned me. I scarred you for life… Seems like a decent balance.”

I wouldn’t say I had been scarred for life, although I would certainly never be able to look at Lyra’s obsession with humans the same way again after hearing Bon Bon’s rather… interesting statement.

“So, what do you have planned today?” I asked Vinyl as I poured myself a bowl of cereal.

“Not much,” she said as she followed me into the kitchen, “Gonna work on the Fusion Project and see if Pinkie needs a DJ any time soon.”

I nodded, “I would love to see more about how the Fusion Project works, if you wouldn’t mind.”

Vinyl beamed, “I would love to. Come on up to my work room when you are done, I need to do some prep work.”

“Alright,” I said, smiling, “It’s a date.”

“Oh! Uhh… I don’t mean it is an actual date, just… you know, it is agreed upon that we will meet at the time and location specified,” I could feel more and more blood rushing up to my cheeks as I spoke.

“Yeah, okay,” Vinyl said, apparently unconvinced, “I am going to go upstairs and start getting everything turned on and primed. Set up can take a while.”

I merely nodded as she trotted upstairs and I enjoyed my breakfast in peace. Cereal wasn’t my favorite breakfast, but it was easy enough for me to make, anything more advanced than an omelet usually required that usage of magic to make properly. Thanks to my rather dexterous hooves, I was able to compensate somewhat, but most of the time I preferred making do with more simplistic meals that didn’t take an excruciating amount of effort to prepare.

After I finished my cereal and morning coffee, I washed the dishes, put them back in the cupboard, and headed over to Vinyl’s work room, only to be assaulted by a wave of sound as I opened the door. “How can you make anything this loud?” I yelled, shoving my hooves in my ears.

“Oh, hey Tavi,” she said after lowering the volume, “You kind of took a while, so I thought I would put my bass cannon through its paces.”

“Your… bass cannon?” I asked as I checked for any signs of hearing loss.

“Yeah,” she said, “I designed it myself, it is the most powerful amplifier in Equestria. If this baby goes to max power in Ponyville, the ponies in Canterlot will hear it.”

“Why would you ever need something that loud?”

She stared at me, her goggles made it impossible to tell if she was blinking or not. “It’s the loudest amp in Equestria.”

I facehoofed, “Yes, I understand that it is the loudest, my question though is what practical purpose it could serve. It seems more like a weapon system than a proper speaker.”

“Oh yeah,” she said laughing, “I have been forbidden to play it anywhere that wasn’t protected by a sound proofing or sound dampening spell. The mayor said it was a public safety concern.”

“Right, so why build something you can’t even use properly?” I asked again, trying to understand her motives.

Again there was a pause, “It is the loudest in Equestria.”

I let out an exasperated sigh, “This conversation is becoming rather circuitous, what did you want to show me?”

“Oh right,” she said, “Well, you’ve already heard the bass cannon, so there is really no need to show it to you again.”

My ears cheered at the news, “So I guess I will show you the sound mixing booth.” At that, she levitated two albums towards the central turntable while she adjusted some knobs. I have no idea what DJ equipment is called, so you will have to pardon my ignorance when it comes to describing the technical terminology of what she did.

Vinyl placed the latest Sapphire Shores album and Maestro’s Symphony No. 9 on the turntable, and used her telekinesis to adjust the levers and knobs on the turntable. “I don’t like using my hooves for the mixing work, it is a bit of a delicate operation, so I let my magic do the fine adjustment stuff.

“Right, because no pony could ever do something that involves delicate and precise movements with her hooves,” I said, relishing the chance to not be the pony committing the faux pas for once.

My roommate just laughed it off, “What can I say Tavi, you are a freak amongst ponies, and I mean that in the best way possible. I don’t think I could play the cello as good as you do even if I had years of practice.”

The compliment was nice, although I would have preferred if it didn’t involve me being called a freak. Still, considering the praise that came with it, I wasn’t that upset. “So, what exactly do you do now?” I asked as Vinyl finished making her adjustments.

“Well,” she said, hitting what I can only assume was the play button, “I have been thinking these two pieces would play off of each other rather nicely, so…” She was interrupted by what sounded like three timberwolves fighting over dinner, Vinyl immediately started fiddling with her knobs, and within a few seconds the sounds began to complement each other. The baroque music gave Miss Shores’ standard bubblegum pop a weight it normally lacked, and the combination managed to draw out the best aspects of both songs (Although I would argue that the symphony’s best was already easily on display. Still, it might make classical music more accessible to ponies).

“There,” Vinyl said as she finished her adjustments, “What do you think?”

“It’s… it’s actually quite good. In fact, this might be the only time I have heard a pop song and enjoyed it.”

Vinyl laughed as she flipped a few more switches, “High praise coming from you, now I just need to record it and press it onto another record. Makes things easier if I ever want to play it at a party.”

“So is this what you do?” I asked, “Mix songs and play them for ponies?”

“Kind of,” she said, “While I do occasionally play one of my mixed songs at a party, most of the time I just play regular songs.”

“Wait, the only thing you do at parties is change records then?”

“Yes and no, the main thing I do is keep an eye on the party’s atmosphere, and pick a song to keep things going. If ponies start getting exhausted, I play a slower song to let them rest a bit, and if the energy starts lacking I play a really high energy song. Basically, I keep everypony happy by giving them what they need before they need it. Although yes, that mostly involves me just changing records.

The way she described it, she made her role seem vital in keeping the party going, she didn’t just change records; she was a vital part of the party infrastructure. Even if she just changed records.

“So then, how many records do you have?” I asked, “You must have quite the collection.”

Vinyl grinned excitedly, “It’s funny you should ask that Tavi,” she said as she moved towards one of the larger cabinets in the room, “Because I have all of them.”

She wasn’t lying, the cabinet was absolutely stuffed with records, and Vinyl had to use her telekinesis to keep quite a few of them from falling, “Sorry about that,” she said, “I might have more records than I do space in my cabinet.”

I nodded, “It doesn’t help that you seem to just be shoving them in with no particular attention paid to organizing them or keeping them neat.” Honestly, I would be surprised if all of those records were still functional considering how tightly packed in they were.

“Well, ya know,” she said, shrugging as she shoved the escaped records back into the cabinet, “There used to be a system, but I acquired so many albums they kind of buried it. Still, I know where everything is,” she looked back at the cabinet which bulged under the strain of so many albums, “Mostly”

“You know,” I said, "I'm pretty good at keeping things neat, maybe I could help you organize your collection sometime?” It wasn’t my greatest idea, and I would more than likely be forced to spend several days sorting through albums, making sure they were placed in the proper sleeve and creating a… more efficient storage system, but Vinyl had been more than accommodating, and I felt I should offer to help her out in some way.

She rubbed her chin in thought, “I don’t know. You won’t throw any albums away will you?”

“Of course not, I will just organize them and make it easier to find what you are looking for,” and also prevent your cabinet from becoming so dense it manages to collapse into itself.

“Alright,” she said, “Just let me know when you are doing it, and I will help you out.”

Wonderful. “Then is there anything else you want to show me?” I asked.

She shook her head, “Nope, not really. In fact, I am about to start recording, and I kind of need things quiet for that.”

I smiled and nodded, taking her hint, “As you wish, I have to unpack my possessions anyways, so if you need me, I will be in my room.”

“Yeah, sure,” she said as her attention shifted towards her work. She waved at me dismissively, “Have fun.”

I actually did have fun unpacking, most ponies don’t, but I found it soothing to look through my possessions and find a proper place for them. My collection of pink bowties and collars went into the dresser, the folders containing my collection of sheet music were reordered before being sent to rest on my bookshelf, as were my texts on musical theory and scrapbooks, and my quills and parchment were placed on my desk. After unpacking everything else, I found my Miss Minor doll sitting at the bottom of the second box staring up at me. Before I could think, I found myself scooping her up and wrapping my forelegs around her. “Oh, I am so glad I have you back Miss Minor, I thought I had lost you forever. Promise you will forgive me?”

Yes, I talked to my doll, but in my defense, she was given to me by my grandmother shortly after I received my cutie mark and had been my only roommate ever since I moved out of my parent’s house. A lady needs someone to talk to while she is practicing the cello.

Smiling happily, I placed her in the position of honor on my desk. While her mane was now ragged, and her coat a bit thin at spots, she was still my favorite (and only) doll and inanimate companion.

“It’s so good to see you again, Miss Minor, do you want to hear me practice on the cello?”

She didn’t respond (Obviously).

“Well, if you are so certain, then I will begin,” I said as I drew my bow across the strings and began practicing for my concert tomorrow.

The experience was relaxing as usual, and provided a sort of meditative calmness. All of my problems faded away and I became one with my instrument. Apparently, whatever had caused my slip ups a few days ago had faded away, and I could now perform adequately. I opened my eyes to find that several hours had gone by, and the sun was now low in the sky. Part of me wanted to keep playing, but I had to read a few books if I ever planned on facing Twilight or Lyra again. I carried two books to my desk, and I debated on whether I should start A Brief History of the Unicorn Kingdoms or Humans and You: Equestria’s Secret History First. While part of me wanted to slight unicorns everywhere by opting to read Humans and You first, I decided to stick with the reputable scholarly publication as opposed to somepony’s deranged rantings.

Several minutes later, I had made the discovery that A Brief History of the Unicorn Kingdoms was incredibly dull. For a kingdom that was notorious for intrigue, succession crises, and civil war, the text had endeavored to make it as dull as possible. Of course, I am not a mare who needs her books to be packed with excitement, but I do appreciate it when works at least try to be accessible. Still, the book had gained some popularity recently, and I hoped that if I just stuck with it, the text would become more interesting. It did not.

“I don’t understand the appeal of this book,” I said to Miss Minor as I forced myself to read through another chapter, “The actual events are intriguing, but the prose is stiff and dry, and it feels more like I am reading a meticulously detailed journal than an actual text, listen to this:

“On the 83rd day of the 57th year of Galaxxi the Mad’s Reign, Prince Obsidian awoke at approximately 8:37 in the morning. He proceeded to spend between fifteen to twenty-three minutes in bed, depending upon the sources, but all accounts agree that he had arisen by 9:00. He had his usual breakfast of blueberry pancakes and orange juice after getting out of bed, however it should be noted that due to war shortages he was forced to eat his pancakes without butter.

“And then it jumps to another character and starts describing their morning. Who could possibly care so much about the minutiae of somepony’s daily life?” I flipped to the front of the book and found that it was written by somepony named Night Light. I didn’t recognize the name. The about the author page was also uninformative, describing him as a professor of early Equestrian history, and mentioning that he had recently been appointed the Royal Historian by Princess Celestia. There was another paragraph that talked about his family, but other than revealing he had a wife and children, it was generally uninformative.

I sighed and pushed the book away. Perhaps I would have better luck with Humans and You. At least the cover looked interesting, it was filled with strange bipedal beings, apparently the artist’s rendering of humans, descending from the heavens as a crowd of ponies looked heavenwards. This text and A Brief History made for an interesting contrast, while one was dry and filled with footnotes and citations, the other was written in a sensationalist style while offering up nothing but speculation. As much as I hate to admit it, I found myself engrossed in Humans and You, and I found the sun had set when I finally pulled myself away from it.

That was odd, I thought as I stood up, I was almost positive that Vinyl would have interrupted me at some point during the day. I shrugged and decided to fix something to eat. As I headed downstairs, I heard some faint noises coming from Vinyl’s DJtorium, and decided she must have gotten wrapped up in her work. I smiled as I headed downstairs; it was good to know that I wasn’t the only pony who could get so caught up in her work that she lost all track of time.

I fixed up a daisy sandwich and hot tea for dinner, before deciding to leave another sandwich out for Vinyl so she would have something to eat when she finally tore herself away from her work, and sat at the table to eat (This is beginning to read like an excerpt from A Brief History). The meal was rather tasty and after drinking my tea I felt ready to write my journal entry for the day and go to bed. It is nice to have an uneventful day that can be accurately summarized in under ten pages. Hopefully it is a harbinger for normal days to come.

Day 6

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Celestia damn it. Of course the day after I express the faintest hope that my life in Ponyville might be reaching some form of normalcy, the whole town has to go absolutely crazy in the hopes of topping the insanity of my first few days in the town. I couldn’t even have the privilege of waking up at a decent time because I was woken up in the middle of the night when somepony shoved a sack over my head.

“Wha- What is going on?” I tried to ask, although considering I had just woken up to find a sack being shoved on my head, the resulting sentence was far less coherent, and could better be described as incoherent mumbling and yelling.

“We do you a great honor, Octavia, for we are bringing you to the Grand Hall of Anthropologists!”

“Hello Bon Bon,” I said, my panic evaporating as I immediately recognizing the pony’s rather distinctive voice, “Is there a reason you are abducting me as opposed to just inviting me over to your house or wherever the Grand Hall is?”

“You are mistaken, I am not Bon Bon,” Bon Bon said, “I am Meghan, vice-president of the Illustrious Order of Anthropologists.”

I heard another pony whisper to Bon Bon, “See, I told you you should have let me do the talking.”

“You know I can still hear you talking right Lyra? The sack doesn’t impair my hearing.”

She chose to ignore me, I sighed. This wasn’t how I had intended to start my day, and I briefly wondered what time it was.

A pony leaned in close to me and whispered, “Really sorry about this Tavi, Lyra has decided the Illustrious Order of Anthropologists needed to be a bit more formal with its... well, its interview process, and that apparently means keeping our base a secret.”

I nodded my head appreciatively at the pony whom I recognized as Vinyl. Lyra and Bon Bon were still arguing about who should be doing the speaking.

“You said I could do the introduction this time,” Bon Bon said, clearly upset based off of the sound of her voice.

“Yes, and I also said we should use a voice alteration spell, which you said was excessive.”

“It was excessive, it would have been far easier to just use a sleep spell and then bring her back to our hou- the Grand Hall.”

“Fine, fine, we will do it your way,” Lyra said as I felt a horn press against my shoulder. Before I could react properly, I found myself being dragged down into unconsciousness as my legs buckled. What a wonderful way to start the day, I thought as my world went dark.

I awoke an unknown amount of time later to find four ponies standing over me, each clad in dark robes that utterly failed to conceal their identities. “Welcome to the Grand Hall of Anthropologists, Octavia. You have been chosen to join our elite sisterhood,” the pony who was very clearly Lyra said.

“Hello to you too, Lyra,” I said as I got back up on my hooves. I looked at the members of the “Illustrious Order,” a pony who was clearly Vinyl Scratch stood to my left, Lyra and Bon Bon stood in the center, and to the right was… Twilight Sparkle. That was interesting.

“You are mistaken,” Lyra said, “I know not who this Lyra Heartstrings you speak of is, I am Lauren.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, “First of all, I never mentioned your last name, so it is very clear you know who Lyra is, second of all, your robes utterly fail to cover your flank, meaning I can see your coat color, tail, and cutie mark. So unless there are many other mint green unicorns with a lyre as a cutie mark running around, you are Lyra.”

Lyra stared at me, trying to think of something to say before Bon Bon chimed in, “Lauren, could you please get some tea for us while we talk with Octavia?”

She nodded and left for the kitchen, but not before assuring me that she was most definitely not Lyra. I failed to be persuaded. After she had left, Bon Bon spoke, “I am really sorry about this, I suggested to Lyra she make a little club to talk about humans with, and for a while everything was fine, but then, when Twilight joined about a month ago, Lyra decided we needed to have proper protocol so she turned our club into this secret society thing. It’s kind of silly, but it would mean a lot to her if you joined.”

“First of all, if you wanted to make a good impression then why would you abduct me in the middle of the night? And second of all, why in Equestria would Twilight join a club dedicated to talking about humans?”

Vinyl responded first, “We didn’t want to abduct you, but Lyra insisted that our names and our base’s location be a secret. She says it is to protect Twilight’s identity, but I think she just likes making all of us sneak around.”

Bon Bon and Twilight nodded. “I came across some references to humans in a few of my books, and when I followed up with Lyra, she invited me to join the Illustrious Order of Anthropologists,” Twilight said.

“So what do you want me to do?” I asked, deciding it best not to question the rampant insanity of the situation.

“Well, if you could pretend not to recognize who we are, that would mean a lot to Lyra, she put a lot of effort into designing our cloaks.” Vinyl said.

Bon Bon jumped in, “Also, it would mean a lot if you decided to join us. We are always looking for more members, and we have a potluck every Thursday.”

“You do realize how ridiculous this is, right? Humans don’t exist, and even if they did, they certainly wouldn’t visit Equestria.” I said. Vinyl and Bon Bon nodded in agreement, while Twilight was silent.

“Yeah, it is kind of silly,” Bon Bon said, agreeing with me, “But I do everything I can to make our meetings fun.”

“And these robes are really comfy,” Vinyl said, chiming in.

“Alright,” I said, “I will join, but only because you are my friend.” (And because I had learned it was best not to upset crazy ponies.)

“Great,” Bon Bon said, smiling, “Now then, my human name is Meghan, Twilight’s is Tara, Lyra is Lauren, and Vinyl over here is Danielle.”

“You will have to pardon me,” I said, “But those names are utterly ridiculous.”

“They are,” Twilight said, finally speaking up, “But Lyra says they are traditional human names, and she says it is only fitting that anthropologists use a human name when meeting.”

“Fine,” I said, letting out an exasperated sigh, “Just promise me there will be no more late night abductions.”

Before Bon Bon could respond, Lyra walked back into the room with five cups of tea floating besides her, “I hope everypony is thirsty,” she said before suddenly remembering that she was supposed to be the mysterious head of a league of anthropologists, “I mean, the traditional beverage has been brewed, we shall imbibe it with our guest Octavia.”

I had to resist the urge to bash my head against a wall, Lyra sounded like she was doing a particularly bad imitation of the Royal Canterlot Voice.

“Of course,” I said as I picked up my cup of tea, “I would be more than happy to drink and speak with such esteemed guests, I only ask that we wrap things up quickly so I can get at least some sleep tonight. I do have a concert tomorrow, after all.”

“Oh yes, we can certainly move things along quickly, if time is short,” Lyra said, taking a sip of her tea, “It has come to our attention that you have expressed an interest in humans, and because of your interest, we wish to grant you entrance into the Illustrious Guild of Anthropologists.”

“I thought you were called the Illustrious Order of Anthropologists,” I said.

Lyra blinked for a second, “Yes, the Illustrious Order of Anthropologists, you have passed our final test by proving that you have a keen mind, capable of understanding the secrets of anthropology. Will you accept our invitation and join the Illustrious Order of Anthropologists?”

I struggled not to roll my eyes, “Of course I will join Lyr- Lauren, now if you will excuse me, I have to go back to bed,” I said, as I turned around to leave.

“Wait,” Lyra said, “Before you leave, you must undergo the initiation ritual and pick out-”

She was interrupted as Bon Bon moved to whisper in Lyra’s ear. “On second thought, we will ignore the initiation ritual this once, as long as you promise not to divulge the secrets of the Illustrious Order to anypony else.”

“Trust me,” I said, “I am not going to tell anypony else about your club.” Mainly because I didn’t want ponies to think I was absolutely unhinged, but I saw no need to spoil Lyra’s fantasy.

“Wonderful,” she said, “Now I know this might come as a shock to you, but I am actually Lyra, Meghan is Bon Bon, Danielle is Vinyl, and Tara is Twilight.” Lyra pulled her hood back and smiled. I tried to contain my shock.

“You don’t say,” I said as I finally gave in and facehoofed, “I was completely and utterly fooled by your impenetrable disguises. Now if you will excuse me, I am going to bed.”

I turned around and left, Lyra called after me, asking if I wanted help getting back to my house. I decided I could probably handle the ten feet between my house and Lyra’s house/secret guild location without getting too terribly lost, and in the space of a minute, I was back home. Well, I thought as I climbed the stairs, that was a completely pointless waste of time. Before I could reach my room, I heard the front door open. “Hello Vinyl,” I said as my roommate entered the house. I briefly considered adding a clever remark to the end of my greeting, but nothing I could think of was capable of summing up how utterly ridiculous the current situation was.

“Hey Tavi,” she said as she walked up the stairs to greet me, “I am sorry about the… well…” She rubbed the back of her neck as she tried to think of an appropriate apology.

“You are sorry that your little club abducted me in the middle of the night as opposed to inviting me to join them normally?” I said, trying to smooth over the awkwardness as much as possible, while still chiding my roommate.

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, nodding her head, “Lyra really does mean well, it is just…” She shrugged, “Her interest in humans has always been kind of odd and silly, but in the past few months it has gotten really serious. I don’t know what it is, but the Anthropologist’s Club went from being a fun little excuse to get together and drink to a full on cloak and dagger secret society. It is kind of weird.”

And that was the understatement of the century.

“So you are saying I shouldn’t be too upset with your friend because she isn’t normally this crazy?”

Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, basically.”

“You do realize that is a terrible argument, right? Just because an action is out of character doesn’t make it excusable, if anything such a lapse in judgment is cause for more alarm, not less.” Yes, it was hypocritical for me to start lecturing somepony about civility and decorum given my recent outbursts, but just because I was a hypocrite didn’t mean I was wrong.

“So what would you suggest I do about it then?” Vinyl asked, her voice rising as she took another step closer to me.

“I would suggest convincing her to see a psychologist or staging an intervention of some form. Now, I am not saying it is bad for her to have… peculiar interests, but if they are interfering with her quality of life, then I would do something about it. Or not, she is your friend.”

“Hey,” Vinyl said, “She is your friend too.”

I decided it best not to argue that by reminding Vinyl that friends don’t abduct friends in the middle of the night, “True,” I said, “But I have only known the mare for four days while you have known her for four years.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” Vinyl said as she moved to look down at the floor, “But what am I supposed to tell her? I mean, it is kind of hard to just accuse my best friend of being crazy.”

“You didn’t have any problems calling me out when you thought I was acting out of line,” I said, doing my best to keep my voice even.

“Well… yeah, but I had just met you, while I have known Lyra for years, and… I don’t really know how to bring the topic up in a normal conversation.”

I rolled my eyes, apparently Vinyl was Little Miss Sensitive around other ponies, but had all the grace and tact of a wrecking ball whenever I did something wrong. I didn’t know whether I should be flattered by that or offended. Probably both.

“I know a few psychiatrists in Canterlot, and I will be more than happy helping you with whatever intervention you plan, just promise me there will be no more midnight abductions.”

Vinyl nodded, “Let’s talk this over with Bon Bon and Lyra on Thursday,” I said, “Right now, I need to get to sleep.”

We went to our respective rooms after that, and I curled up in my bed. So things in Ponyville had taken a turn for the crazy again, but I was still nurturing the hope that the rest of the day would have some degree of normalcy. At least I would be able to get a bit more sleep, I thought as I drifted off.

I managed to sleep through the rest of the night without being woken up by any crazed anthropologists, so thank Celestia for small miracles, I suppose. When I did finally get up, the sun was beginning its ascent, the clock read 9:00 AM, and I let out a groan. I had slept far later than I had intended.

Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I ran through the list of what I had to do to get ready for my show. Yesterday, I had managed to fashion a rough idea of what songs I would be playing, but, of course, that was all dependent upon how the guests reacted. I reflected briefly on Vinyl’s comments yesterday about how it was the role of the DJ to play songs that kept the party going, and considered how free I should be with changing my play list to suit the needs of the party. Obviously, I wasn’t going to debase myself by playing some catchy pop song, but I could play a few melodies that were pinned a bit more recently. I got out my folder filled with sheet music and looked for a few selections that caught my eye. I eventually decided that Trotsky’s modern reimagining of “The Ballad of the Wing Pegasus” might interest some of the guests, and began rehearsing it.

The piece was shockingly complex, something I didn’t expect in modern instrumental music, although to be fair I wasn’t particularly familiar with anything written in the past one hundred years. To describe what it is supposed to sound like for those not familiar with the peace is something of a challenge for me, but it manages to evoke a feeling of ancient civilizations and lost world, although that is rather… non-descriptive. After all, one pony’s lost civilization can be another pony’s strange dreamscape, so perhaps I will describe it as melodic and other worldly. I suppose… or maybe I am absolutely terrible at describing what music sounds like, and I don’t feel compelled to transcribe the entire composition in this journal (Today’s entry is already going to be long enough as is).

After I had familiarized myself with a few other pieces, I felt ready for my performance tonight. Unfortunately, I still had several hours before I was supposed to arrive, and I highly doubted Rarity would approve of me getting there so early. So, I decided to see what Vinyl was up to today while I waited to leave. While I was looking through my music portfolio, I heard Vinyl get up and head downstairs, and I hadn’t heard any hoofsteps coming back upstairs, so I assumed she was in the living room or dining room.

“Hello,” I said, as I headed downstairs, “Are you still here Vinyl?” As I reached the downstairs landing, I heard Vinyl speaking in hushed tones with some other pony, and they didn’t seem to have heard me. While it might not have been the most polite thing to do, I decided to investigate a bit before announcing my presence. Creeping closer, I was able to recognize Bon Bon as the pony Vinyl was speaking to. If they were talking about that stupid anthropologist club, I would… well, I wouldn’t actually do anything, but I would be rather annoyed. Why would grown mares waste their time obsessing over a stupid little legend?

I was finally close enough to understand what Bon Bon was saying, “I just… I don’t know what to do about Lyra. She is spending more and more time in her basement, obsessing about how Twilight can know so much about humans. Just last night, she and Twilight had another one of their conversations, and now Lyra is flipping through every book she can find to see if there is a reference to something called ‘high school.’”

Bon Bon took in a deep breath, “I know I haven’t been that supportive of Lyra’s interest in humans, but I always tolerated it, and even went to all those silly conventions with her, but now, it’s like she’s not even there. I thought her having a few other ponies to talk about humans with might make things better, but it is just making things worse.”

I was beginning to feel uncomfortable listening in on such a private conversation, and so I decided it was time to announce my present. I knocked a hoof against the wall next to the entryway, “Knock knock,” I said, “Would it be alright if I came in?”

Bon Bon gave a wan little smile, “Oh yes, come in Octavia, I wanted to apologize to you about last night. It’s… Vinyl and I were actually talking about what to do with Lyra, her interest in humans is no longer… healthy.”

That much was obvious, but I decided not to say so in front of Bon Bon. Instead, I just nodded my head and said, “So what do you intend to do about it?”

She closed her eyes, “I don’t know. I don’t want to give an ultimatum yet, but she needs help. This… She stayed up all night last night in her basement, pouring through all her texts trying to find references to what Twilight was talking about. Now, she is convinced that there is some sort of cover up on Celestia’s part to hide all real knowledge of humans. In her more excitable moments she thinks that Celestia actually has a portal to human lands and is hiding it from the rest of ponykind.”

That sounded completely and utterly mad. If Lyra actually believed there was some secret conspiracy to conceal the existence of humans… actually, no, from what little I knew of her, that seemed completely in character. Still, she hadn’t struck me as completely unhinged during my few meetings with her (Not counting the one this morning of course). “Well then,” I said “What would you propose we do? I know several good therapists, although they all work in Canterlot. I was telling Vinyl earlier that it might be in her best interest if we staged an intervention, but then, I just met the girl, I am hardly an expert on how she would react to things.”

“No, no, that’s true,” Vinyl said, “But that is why you can help, you are new, you aren’t as attached to Lyra as we are, so you can think a bit more clearly than we can.”

So was that Bon Bon’s game then? She wanted me to make the plans to deal with her marefriend? I wasn’t particularly fond of sneaking around behind somepony’s back, although I had grown accustomed to it during my time in Canterlot, “I think,” I said, “That we need to talk with Lyra openly and honestly, if she is worried that there is a conspiracy of ponies then sneaking around behind her back will only serve to confirm her suspicions, however if we tell her how we feel and talk about what her obsession is doing to her friends, then we might be able to persuade her to see reason.”

The other two ponies nodded their heads in agreement, and I mentally patted myself on the back for coming up with such a convincing argument in such a short amount of time. I have no idea if it was actually sound advice, but it certainly seemed like it.

“Well then,” Vinyl said, entering into the conversation, “I suppose we should talk to her the next time the anthropologist’s club meets.”

Bon Bon tapped her chin a few times before speaking, “Is that such a good idea though? I mean, this whole bout of obsession was triggered because of Twilight’s involvement in the club, maybe bringing her in will worsen the situation.”

That was actually a valid point, still, maybe we could use that to our advantage (Why am I planning out an intervention for somepony I have only recently met, it’s not like the two of us are particularly close), “If we bring Twilight in, she can help dispel these notions she put in Lyra’s mind and maybe explain how she knows so much about humans.”

I was also interested in hearing why Twilight was so interested in learning about mythological creatures that never existed. I could understand Lyra’s interest, but Twilight was a royal princess, such things were… beneath her, or at least they should be. Maybe there is a royal conspiracy after all (And now I am talking like a complete lunatic, perhaps this town’s insanity is contagious).

“Alright,” Vinyl said after a few seconds of thought, “I will try to talk to Twilight tonight to see if she can’t help us out a bit. We will talk with Lyra tomorrow?”

All three of us nodded at that, and I let out a small sigh, I had another silly task to fill up what was supposed to be one of the few days I had left to rest before I had to spend all my time dealing with the orchestra nonsense. Still, it couldn’t take more than a couple of hours, and the rest of the day would be mine to spend as I saw fit. Unless something else that was completely absurd happened, but what were the odds of that? (Why must I insist on tempting fate?)

“Well then,” I said, “Since all this seems to be… sorted for the moment, I suppose we can put this faction to rest for the moment. I do have some things to do after all, and it doesn’t seem like we can make much more progress with Lyra until tomorrow. So until anon,” I bowed my head towards Bon Bon.

She returned the gesture, “Uhmm… okay then,” Bon Bon said, “This was a good talk, glad to have it out of the way… I guess.”

I smiled at her, “Don’t worry Bon Bon, we will handle this, and Lyra will be back to her old slightly-saner self in no time. I give you my word on that.” Where did all of this confidence and charm come from? I was being calm, collected, and reassuring without shoving my hoof in my mouth or alienating anyone. The whole experience was rather peculiar.

“Thank you, Octavia, I am glad Lyra… Glad we have a friend like you.”

I almost said, “I wouldn’t say we are friends quite yet,” but thankfully, my long absent since of tact and decorum prevented me from committing another social faux pas. Instead, I merely smiled at her as she headed towards the door.

“Well,” Vinyl said after Bon Bon left, “I didn’t think you had it in you?”

A compliment? From Vinyl? “Why, whatever do you mean?” I asked as I noticed my stomach rumbling. I should probably eat something before I left for Rarity’s house.

“You, being all diplomatic and polite without shoving your hoof in your mouth. You had a problem and managed to come up with a decent solution. Hell, if I didn’t know any better, I would say you were a completely different pony.”

“Oh,” I said as I felt blood rushing to my face, “It’s funny, but I didn’t really plan that out, I just kind of… reacted. Truthfully, I might have been a completely different pony.”

“Well,” Vinyl said, winking at me, “I certainly wouldn’t mind seeing more of that pony.”

Funny, I know I should have said something in response to that, but my brain and tongue refused to cooperate, and instead I let out a stupid little laugh. It was not my most dignified moment.

“Lyra is lucky to have a friend like you,” Vinyl said, while I stood like a slack-jawed idiot.

“Oh, I wouldn’t go so far as to say Lyra and I are friends,” I said, getting my tongue to work a few seconds before my brain.

“What?” Vinyl said, the goodwill in her voice instantly evaporating as her eyes locked on to me.

That was very clearly the wrong thing for me to say, I tried to think of something to say to diffuse the situation, “Well, I just mean that I have only met the pony three times, and one of those times we met because she abducted me in the middle of the night. I don’t think a friendship can be formed after three meetings.”

Her eyes narrowed, “So then why are you helping her?”

“Well,” I said as I rubbed the back of my head, “even though I wouldn’t call Lyra a friend, she strikes me as a mostly decent pony who needs help, and you are my friend, so… I guess I just saw a pony who needed help and decided to lend my aid. It’s… I suppose it is a little silly.”

Vinyl went back to smiling that stupid inscrutable smile of hers, “See, this just proves what I said about you being a good pony deep down,” she said, before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek.

I wanted to remind her that such a thing was probably grossly inappropriate, and she had no business bringing… romantic things into this conversation. Unfortunately, my brain was once again unable to formulate a coherent response. Stupid uncooperative hormones. Not that I am saying I have any romantic affection for Vinyl of course, such a thing would be improper.

“Uhh… yeah,” Vinyl said, “If you are just going to stand there staring off into space, I am going to go upstairs and get to work, and I am sure you have stuff you need to do today too.”

She walked off and my eyes finally regained their focus. Yes, I did have things I needed to do today, and staring off into space after a cute mare kissed me wasn’t one of them. The concert, yes, that was the thing I had to do, although I still had a few hours before Rarity told me I should arrive. So, I could stay in the house and see what Vinyl was up to, or I could arrive at Rarity’s party far, FAR earlier than expected. My case was packed and I was out the door in ten seconds flat.

I managed to find Rarity’s house with minimal issues (I only got lost twice). The place was gaudy, even by Ponyville standards, with the whole thing being modeled after a particularly colorful carousel. Hopefully her fashion sense was better than her architectural tastes.

“Hello,” I said as I knocked on the door, “I hope you don’t mind me arriving a bit earlier than planned.” I heard moving from inside the store, and a few minutes later she had opened her door. From what I could see of the indoors, the place was in total disarray, with decorations resting on the floor, and fabric everywhere.

“Oh, hello Octavia,” Rarity said as she looked out from the opening in the door, “You are here rather early.”

“Yes,” I said, doing my best to smile, “I didn’t have much to do today, so I thought I would arrive a bit early and help you set up, but if you don’t need any assistance, I suppose I could just practice in the park a bit.”

Rarity’s eyes lit up the second I mentioned the word assistance, “Well, I certainly wouldn’t turn down the help, but only if I wouldn’t be imposing on you. You are the musician, after all,you’re not here to help with the set-up.

“Oh, obviously,” I said, working to maintain my smile, “Still, I know how chaotic the hours leading up to a party are, and I thought I could lend my hoof.”

She actually smiled at that, “You know, Octavia, dear, I really do think I misjudged you initially. I thought you were another one of those insensitively brutish Canterlot ponies, but you actually are quite the darling, you know that?”

“Thank you, I know I didn’t make that great of a first impression at our first meeting,” I said.

“Well… Yes,” she said as I made my way inside her boutique, “But Pinkie Pie can be a bit exasperating if you aren’t prepared to deal with her. Besides, you did work to make amends later, and that is what truly counts. Everypony makes mistakes, but it is takes a true lady to admit when she has erred.”

I nodded my head as she spoke, “So,” I said, “What do you need help with?”

Rarity tapped her chin in thought for a second, “I need you to help set up the tables. Now, each table needs to have five plates on it, with each plate being equidistant from the plates on either side of them, and all of them revolving around the floral arrangement at the center of the table. You will also note that there are six tables; they should be arrayed in a similar fashion, with five tables forming a circle around the sixth table. If you need any help, I will be putting the final touches on my displays before bringing them downstairs.”

With that, she trotted off to wherever her work station was, and I worked to make sense of her instructions. I tried to map it out in my head and eventually decided that she wanted the whole thing arranged like a wheel, with each table representing a smaller wheel, wheels within wheels it seemed. Shrugging, I went to work.

My labor was finished an hour later, and I stood back to admire my hoof work. Everything was neat and precise, and I had followed her instructions to the letter. Even the most obsessive of ponies couldn’t find fault with my layout.

“Oh, that is very nice, Octavia,” Rarity said as she descended down the stairs with several mannequins levitating down behind her. The mannequins were clothed in a variety of dresses, some were styled for more formal occasions, others were meant for a more casual occasion. One light blue dress with pink accents caught my eye, it would be absolutely perfect for any future recitals I might have, and it possessed the sleek elegance that I desire in all things. I made a note to inquire about it after the show.

“Yes, it’s very nice,” Rarity said, as she moved the mannequins to their positions, “My only tiny complaint is that you put the orange bouquet in the center, which is where the purple bouquet should go, and some of the other bouquets aren’t in the right position. Still, it is no problem.” With that she rearranged the table’s centerpieces to sit where she wanted it to. I didn’t see much of an aesthetic improvement, but she was the designer, not I.

“So, is there anything else you need assistance with?” I asked as she finished making her tweaks.

“Hmm…” She said, tapping her chin, “I think that is everything I need help with, feel free to practice or relax or do whatever it is you do before you have a concert, I am more than capable of handling the rest.”

“Alright,” I said, taking a position on what I assumed was going to be the stage and pulling out my cello. The practice was mostly uneventful, and I spent a while practicing for my performance tonight.

“So,” I said, trying to make conversation with Rarity while she worked on the party preparations, “What made you want to be a fashion designer?”

“Hmm?” She said, hanging up a banner, “It’s not that much to tell, I’ve always enjoyed designing clothes, and Ponyville needs somepony to keep it fashionable.”

I nodded, if she had taken it upon herself to make this town fashionable, she had more than her fair share of work cut out for her. Still, I have something of a soft spot in my heart for ponies that choose to take on an impossible task. I wonder why. “What about you?” She said, “I know you came to Ponyville to found your little orchestra,” I had no comment for that, “But what brought you into classical music?”

I told her the story about how I had earned my cutie mark after putting on an impromptu performance in Canterlot, and she seemed generally interested in my story while she worked. “Oh,” she said after my story concluded, “So you aren’t a Canterlot native?”

“Well,” I said as another part of my brain continued to play the cello, “Yes, I was born in Manehattan, but I like to think of Canterlot as my home city.”

“Right,” Rarity said, as we both continued to work on our respective projects. The conversation lulled as we continued our work. She continued hanging her banners and other… party things, while I continued practicing my performance for that evening.

“So,” I said, as I recalled the ponies from my party the other, mainly a filly unicorn with a similar coat complexion, “There was a filly with a white coat, and a mane colored similarly to yours, is she your…”

“My sister, yes,” Rarity said, laughing, “I hope Sweetie Belle didn’t harass you too much at your party. She and her friends can be a little… rambunctious.”

I did my best to smile, “She was fine, a bit high energy for me, but perfectly polite. I hope she and her friends didn’t get into any trouble after I ‘inspired’ them to get a cutie mark in classical music.”

“Oh no,” Rarity said, “She and her friends have spent the last few days in their little tree house, doing Celestia knows what.”

“Will they be at your soiree tonight, then?” I asked, as I moved on to practicing the next song.

Rarity gave an emphatic no, “While I love my sister, she and her friends aren’t really… well suited for a fancy party. About as bad as my friends were at the Canterlot garden party.”

I cringed and missed a note as she reminded me of the garden party, “Yes, that party was rather unfortunate, I prefer not to think of it actually.”

“Oh yes,” Rarity said, blushing slightly, “I forgot that you were there with me as well, and for what it is worth, I am sorry about my friend’s behavior.”

“It’s all right,” I said, stopping my practice and waving my hoof dismissively, “Now that I have met most of the ponies responsible for that… disaster of a party, I’ve decided that there is no point in bearing them any ill will. After all, they are very lovely ponies.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that,” Rarity said, taking a step back to survey the party decorations, “And I am glad to see that my initial impression of you was rather… off.”

“As I said before, Miss Rarity, it is perfectly fine. I am not the most sociable of ponies, and I didn’t make that great of an impression during our first meeting. Truthfully, I would be more concerned if my verbal assault on your friend had left you with a positive impression.”

“That is true,” Rarity said, giving one of her canned laughs, “Anyways, I must make sure the catering is ready, please make yourself at home, just… don’t get things too messy.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said as she went out to get the catering. Now that I had the place to myself, I would like to say that I focused on my rehearsals, but that is only half true. While a part of my mind focused on making sure I hit all the right notes, the rest of my mind was free to wander. My thoughts drifted towards my current living situation and reflections on Ponyville in general. The town was definitely less sophisticated than Canterlot, but the ponies here were shockingly kind. After four days, I had made more friends than I had after seven years in Canterlot, and I even liked a few of my friends. Eventually, my thoughts turned, inevitably, towards Vinyl. She was peculiar. Just based off of our personalities, it would seem inevitable that the two of us ended up as enemies. Vinyl was low class, uncouth, uncultured, and far too outgoing, while I was a sophisticated intelligent pony who preferred an evening of quiet contemplation over a night of debauched partying. Yet, despite those differences, I felt a certain affection developing towards her. She was kind, friendly, honest, and even though she frequently called me out for my social mistakes, she made me feel appreciated and helped me be a better pony. Sometimes, when we were talking and her goggles were off, I would catch her looking at me and I felt as if…

The door slammed and I looked up to find Rarity coming in surrounded by silver serving platters. “Hello darling, I hope I wasn’t gone too terribly long,” she said as she set the trays down on the buffet.

“On the contrary, I was so wrapped up in my work; I hardly noticed your absence.” Well, my work and my thoughts, but I saw no need to bother her with them.

“That is wonderful,” she said, making the last few adjustments to the layout, “Now, the guests should be arriving in a few minutes; so do what you have to in order to get ready.”

“Of course,” I said, nodding absent mindedly, as I prepared to move into my first piece. It wouldn’t do to start playing when the first guest arrived, the guests didn’t come to listen to me play, and I needed to fade into the background of the party.

After a few minutes of playing through Concerto No. 7, I heard the door to Rarity’s boutique open and she greeted her first guest. My hooves played, my eyes and ears kept an eye on the guests, and my mind wandered, looking for something to hold its interest while my body was on autopilot. Eventually, I decided to look around and see if I actually recognized any of Rarity’s clientele. The first ponies I recognized were Jet Set and Upper Crust, ponies no musician ever wanted to find themselves working for. Their demands were consistently changing, and if you made a single mistake, they were sure to spend the rest of the party belittling you in front of their guests and refused to pay (I didn’t make mistakes, of course, but I still found their shaming of the musician to be rather obnoxious).

Still, if they were there, then it had to mean that Fancypants was as well, the hangers-on were never far from those that possessed an actual measure of nobility. To my surprise, he was engaged in conversation with the hostess, and Rarity was actually challenging him on some of his points, as opposed to just nodding her head at everything he said. My estimation of her skyrocketed. Before too long, Jet Set and Upper Crust approached Rarity.

“This is such a lovely party dear, I just love the food and decorations,” Jet Set said.

“And the guest list is a wonderful who’s who of the Canterlot nobility,” Upper Crust said chiming in.

“It’s just such a shame,” Jet Set said, his voice becoming unbearably smug (Or more unbearably smug than usual, at least).

“Yes, an absolutely dreadful mistake, really, although it’s understandable that a pony so far from Canterlot would make it.”

“Why, whatever are you talking about?” Rarity asked, doing her best to keep her voice neutral.

“Well, it’s just that the musician you hired has a bit of a reputation in Canterlot,” Jet Set said, and my eye twitched.

“Yes, a rather unhirable reputation,” Upper Crust concluded.

I briefly entertained the idea of beating both ponies to a bloody pulp with my cello before deciding they weren’t worth the damage to my cello. Still, I decided to make it a point to play one of the more technically challenging songs in my repertoire after this song concluded. They probably wouldn’t catch the insult, but it would make me feel better at least.

“Yes, I suppose she does have a bit of a reputation,” Rarity said, her words pricking my pride, “After all, the royal princesses wouldn’t pick just anypony to create Luna’s Royal Orchestra.” I had to repress the urge to throw down my cello and hug Rarity at that moment.

“But don’t you think being sent to Ponyville is a bit of a-” Upper Crust started to say before being interrupted by Fancypants.

“Bit of a what? A wonderful vacation locale? I, for one, have always enjoyed my brief jaunts to Ponyville, and am quite pleased to see it getting the recognition it deserves.”

Upper Crust and Jet Set stammered for a few seconds before backing away sheepishly. If I wasn’t paid a single bit for this show, seeing those two shut down so spectacularly made it worth it (Shut down? What is this town doing to my vocabulary?).

My first song concluded and I moved on to play “Celestia’s Sun”, a staggeringly complex cello composition, that many unicorns worked to master their entire lives. I was going to play it flawlessly. As expected, Jet Set and Upper Crust failed to appreciate my skill, but I noticed several other ears perking up as I started to play. Fancypants and Rarity began to head towards me, “I must say, Rarity, I am impressed you found a musician so young that can play this song. I thought it took years of practice to play proficiently.”

“Only a year, actually, but it does require quite a bit of training,” I said, smiling.

If Fancypants had been impressed before, he was doubly so, now. “Oh my,” he said, “I didn’t think most musicians would talk so freely while playing such a complicated piece.”

“Most wouldn’t,” I said, nodding my head at him, “But I have spent quite a lot of time practicing this song, and now my hooves can play while my brain is otherwise occupied. I find it a bit tiring when a musician has to stop playing to hold a conversation, so I worked to remedy the problem.”

“Very impressive, Miss Octavia. Tell me, have you ever put on a private recital to display your talents?”

“In all honesty,” I said, while mentally berating myself for never even considering a private recital before that very moment, “The thought never crossed my mind, although it is an… intriguing proposition.” So why did I never consider it in all my years of playing cello?”

“Well,” he said, “If you are ever back in Canterlot, I would certainly love it if you played for me and a few other close friends.”

A private performance for Fancpants? The only way this party could get any better was if…

“Us too,” Jet Set and Upper Crust said, “It is so rare you find a musician as talented as Miss Octave, and Jet Set and I always say we have to nurture young talent when we find it,” Upper Crust concluded.

Was if Jet Set and Upper Crust had to swallow their pride and compliment me after their earlier behavior. Pretty soon, I was surrounded by nobles asking if I could play for them when I was next in Canterlot. With so many offers, how could I refuse them? “I would be happy to play for you,” I said, “But I highly doubt I will be in Canterlot until after the Winter Moon Celebration has concluded. I do have to make an orchestra worthy of Luna, after all.”

The sycophants chattered amongst themselves, talking about how honored they would be to have the pony Luna had hoof-picked to form her orchestra play for them. While I had my doubts about how successful the orchestra would be, I was more than happy to bask in their praise. For one brief second, I was euphoric and thought that nothing could ruin my mood. Why do I keep tempting fate?

“Cutie Mark Crusader Classical Musicians Yay!” Of course.

I looked on in horror as three fillies ran into the boutique carrying an assortment of classical instruments. They quickly stormed the stage and shoved me out of the way. Sweetie Belle had a clarinet floating next to her, the pegasus was carrying some drums (Bongos?), and the earth pony was carrying a violin. If I had been in my right mind, I would have gotten back on stage and put a stop to their antics before they could properly begin, but I was transfixed, a part of me wanted to see the ensuing train-wreck. That part of me was not disappointed.

Thankfully, I didn’t have to wait wrong for things to go sour. The first note the ponies played was off. The earth pony (Who I later found was named Apple Bloom) struggled to properly hold her violin, the pegasus (Scootaloo) just decided to bang on her drums, and Sweetie Belle forgot to make air move through her clarinet (She was using levitation to hold and manipulate the object, although her telekinetic field kept slipping). The resulting sound was… well, I would hate to call their first attempt at making music an abomination against Celestia, but I can’t seem to think of any better words. Guests flinched and tried to plug their ears, and a few seconds later,Apple Bloom lost her grip on the bow sending it flying through the air.

Things happened quickly after that, the bow managed to land on Scootaloo’s drums, and she proceeded to bounce it towards Sweetie Belle, who dropped the clarinet in her panic. The bow finally hit Upper Crust and sent her reeling backwards into one of the candles being used to illuminate the building. The candle, of course, fell to the ground, and immediately set one of Rarity’s dresses on fire. As soon as the fire started, Rarity moved to get her sister and friends out of the building, while Fancypants worked to evacuate the other ponies. For my part, I immediately started looking for a fire extinguisher so I could stop the building from burning down. I quickly found it located next to the exit. In that time, the fire managed to spread to the nearby drapes. Rarity had filled this place with fabrics of all sorts to prepare for her soiree, flammable flammable fabrics.

“Rarity,” I said as I started spraying the extinguisher, “Find a fire marshal, or whatever Ponyville has. Fancypants and I are going to deal with the guests.” She didn’t protest, and a few seconds later, everypony was evacuating the building, while smoke clouded my vision and scorched my lungs. As soon as Fancypants gave the all clear, and I was sure nopony was left behind, I hoofed it out of that deathtrap, and watched as Carousel Boutique went up in flames. I stood there panting as the flames went higher. All things considered, my first private performance could have gone better (Although Rarity was very keen on pointing out that nopony was seriously hurt, and even her cat managed to escape unscathed). The firefighters arrived with Rarity a few minutes later, and managed to put out the fire. The interior of the boutique was completely scorched, but the exterior seemed mostly fine. I stayed with Rarity until after her guests (except Fancypants) had left.

“So, is your sister okay?” I asked between coughing fits. It seemed like the right thing to say at the time.

“Oh, I don’t know if I would say she is okay, our parents are sure to punish her, and she is understandably upset about burning down my boutique and endangering innocent ponies, but she is unharmed.”

The three of us continued to stare at what remained of Carousel Boutique while I coughed intermittently, “For what it’s worth (Cough), I am sorry (Cough) about my role in the whole (Cough) thing.”

“For what, working to make sure nopony was seriously injured?” She laughed slightly at that, although the tears forming her eyes made her act less than convincing.

“For (Big coughing fit) not stopping them as soon as they interrupted me.”

“It’s quite alright Octavia,” Fancypants said, finally entering into the conversation, “Nopony could have expected that things would play out so disastrously.” Rarity nodded her head in agreement.”

“Fancypants is right,” she said, “And if you ever need any help from me feel free to ask, I just hope you aren’t too terribly upset if your payment is delayed.”

“Don’t worry,” I said, “Considering (More coughs) that I inadvertently inspired your sister and her friends to (Cough) be classical musicians, I feel it is more than fair that I am not compensated. Besides, (Cough) I am sure you will need every bit you have to rebuild your store. Do you need anymore (Coughing fit) help?”

“I am fine,” Rarity said, “I will just stay with my parents for the next few days while my store is rebuilt, and I am sure Fancypants will see that I get home safely. Now please, go to the hospital and make sure you are okay.”

“I will in the morning,” I said, turning to leave, “If you need (Cough cough cough) any more help, you know where to find me.”

Rarity smiled and thanked me again. After walking a brief distance, I looked back to check on her. She was sobbing and leaning against Fancypants, who had his foreleg draped over her. It was good that she had someone to talk to, I thought, and as I continued to look, I saw four familiar ponies running to greet her. Twilight Sparkle practically knocked me over, which I thought was odd because a.) she could fly, and b.) my house and the library were on opposite sides of the town. Still, I didn’t pay it too much attention.

I walked back to the house lost in my thoughts, occasionally being forced back to the real world by one of my coughing fits. As I continued to walk, I felt myself becoming light-headed, although I was confident it would fade after a few minutes of rest. At least I had a light load, I thought (Because I am apparently an utter idiot).

Vinyl rushed in to hug me as soon as I opened the door, “I’m so glad you are okay,” she said, “The whole town is talking about what happened. You aren’t hurt are you?”

“No, (Cough) I am fine, just have a bit of smoke still stuck (cough cough) in my throat. And don’t worry, I will go see a doctor about it tomorrow, I just wanted to get some sleep beforehand.”

“Glad to hear you are okay, as soon as Twilight and I heard about the fire, she rushed off to meet Rarity, and I had half a mind to follow her.”

“Did she tell you what prompted her sudden interest in humans?” I asked, finally recalling the events that happened before the fire.

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, her voice dropping low, “And I don’t think you are going to like it.”

“Why is that?” I made a motion to put my cello down as she spoke, and in that instant, two very important things happened.

The first thing was that Vinyl looked at me, and said, completely deadpan, “Because, Twilight claims that humans are real, and that she has been to their world.” If I had been paying more attention, I would have let out a shocked gasp, and asked if Vinyl was pulling my leg. But as it was, my mind was already racing down a different avenue.

At that exact same instant, as I groped at where my cello case should be, I finally figured out why my load was so light. It was because I had left my cello. The cello my parents gave me after I earned my cutie mark. The cello I had been practicing on every day for more than ten years. The cello that I considered less an instrument and more an extension of my body. During the confusion, I had left it at Carousel Boutique, the very same boutique that had gone up in flames less than an hour ago.

Humans were real and my cello had been utterly destroyed. There was really only one thing I could do in that situation, I laughed. It started as a little giggle, but quickly became a great big uproarious guffaw, before finally turning into a horrific coughing fit. Vinyl backed up nervously and asked if I was okay, but I didn’t care. Why would I care? My cello had been destroyed, everything else was trivial. My vision began to darken, as the constant horrific coughing took my breath away, and very small part of my brain that was still sanerealized that there was a very real chance that I could asphyxiate, but the rest of me didn’t care because humans were real and my cello was no more. Who could worry about a little thing like death during such a time?

The last thing I heard before my world went dark was a horrific unending coughing.

Day 7

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During the course of a normal morning, I will spend several minutes lying in bed, luxuriating in the warm rays of the sun and listening to the birds chirping outside of my window. Many days, it takes almost a half hour for me to become fully aware of my surroundings and ready to get out of bed. While some other ponies might find it a tad decadent, I enjoy waking up slowly and being able to revel in the comfort of a nice cozy bed.

This morning was, of course, dramatically different. Everything seemed wrong, the lights were too bright, the air smelled like antiseptic, the birdsong had been replaced with a persistent beeping, and my blanket had been replaced a collection of wires and tubes. My eyes snapped open. I wasn’t in my room. I wasn’t in my house. I didn’t know where I was. I struggled to remove the wires and tubes as I climbed to my hooves; my heart raced as I tried to figure out what had happened. Considering how strange the last few days had been, anything seemed possible.

Before I could make it too far, several ponies rushed into my room to restrain me, “Easy now,” a pony with a red cross on her flank said, “I don’t know what you remember from last night, but you gave us all quite the scare.”

I tried to recall the events of last night, and as I did, my body was wracked by a coughing fit that sent me to the ground. Of course, I thought as the fit subsided, this must have had something to do with the fire at Rarity’s or my reaction after…

My cello. My cello had been incinerated in the fire. I had spent every day practicing with it, and now it was gone. With a sigh, my body went limp and the orderlies escorted me back to my bed. The nurse, I later learned her name was Red Heart, spoke at length about how I had burned my lungs during the fire, and should avoid any physical exertion for the next few days, but I wasn’t paying much attention. She could have been saying I would never walk again, and it would have been nothing compared to the loss of my cello.

After a few minutes, the nurse left and I had the room to myself again. It was quiet now; I had managed to tune out the monitor’s incessant beeping, and was perfectly content to spend the rest of the day staring at my ceiling. Unfortunately, other ponies disagreed with my plans, most notably Vinyl.

“Hello,” she said as she entered into my hospital room, “Glad to see you are final awake.” Vinyl was smiling and seemed genuinely pleased to see me. I rolled over to face away from her.

“What’s wrong?” She asked, moving to the other side of the bed to face me. I rolled over again.

“Well fine, if you aren’t going to talk, then I am just going to sit here until you do.” True to her word, Vinyl claimed a seat in the corner of my room and sat patiently for the next hour or so while I continued to count the bumps on the ceiling. Occasionally, the silence was interrupted by one of my coughing fits.

“My cello was lost in the fire,” I said, finally sitting up to face my roommate.

“Oh, so can’t you just buy another cello?” She said after a moment’s thought.

“I’ve had that cello since I was ten. I spent time every day tuning it and making sure it was the best it could possibly. I loved that cello, and now it is gone. So yes, I can just buy another cello, but it won’t be my cello, it will just be a cello,” I flopped back down on the bed.

“Then… sorry, I guess. I mean, that sounds like it really sucks.” Yes Vinyl, it did suck, in much the same way that losing an appendage or finding out that your lungs were horrifically burnt might suck, and I am currently two for three on the list of things that might “suck” according to you.

“Yes, it does,” I said in response, managing to hold my tongue, “So I hope you will forgive me if I am not feeling particularly talkative.”

Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, I am sorry, I know last night was terrible for you, and I guess it was even worse than I thought, but if you want to talk about anything, then feel free to.”

“I will keep that in mind,” I said, turning to look out the window.

We sat in silence for a while more, until my doctor came into the room, “Good morning…” He moved to check my name on the chart, “Octavia. I am Doctor Flat Line, and I am glad to see you are feeling better.”

If I was feeling better, I might have made a quip about how terrible the name Flat Line was for a Doctor, but as it was, I barely managed to put all of my contempt into a single exasperated grunt that managed to trigger another coughing fit. Some days, you just can’t win.

Flat Line spoke up after my coughing fit subsided, “Please, don’t strain yourself on my account. Now, I am sure the nurses told you about the burns in your lungs. The good news is that you should be able to make a full recovery in a few weeks, but I don’t recommend that you do anything strenuous until your lungs have had the chance to fully recover. But, I see no reason why you would have to spend another night in the hospital. Unless you have found a particularly enjoyable book that is.”

He laughed at that, I didn’t get it. Stupid inside jokes.

I nodded at him, still refusing to speak to him due to his ridiculous name, annoying joke, and my general foul mood.

“Huh, most patients are a bit more excited when I tell them that,” he said, “The going home part, not the book part. But please, remember to take it easy and try not to overexert yourself.”

Wonderful, I am sure I will have plenty of time to rest between dealing with Lyra’s crazy human obsession and holding the auditions for the orchestra. There will probably be plenty of time to rest between those two things. Still, my schedule might clear up a bit after tomorrow. Probably not, knowing my luck, but it was theoretically possible.

“Well, if there aren’t any more questions, we can get to work on checking you out of the hospital. Just know, you are very lucky to have a friend like Miss Scratch over here.”

“Vinyl?” I asked, finally speaking up, “What did she do?”

“You mean she hasn’t told you?” He said, “It was Vinyl who picked you up after you collapsed and carried you to the hospital. And, after levitating you for such a long distance and risking damage to her magical abilities, she refused any treatment until she knew you were going to be okay. After that, she spent the entire night sitting next to you, waiting for you to wake up.”

That… That did explain how I managed to get to the hospital, actually. Strange how I hadn’t questioned what brought me from my house to here. “But, she wasn’t here when I got up this morning.”

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, entering into the conversation, “Sorry about that, but I had to get some breakfast, and while I was gone, you decided to wake up.”

I muttered under my breath, “I didn’t decide to wake up; I just happened to wake up at the same time you decided to leave. It was a coincidence.”

“I know,” Vinyl said, as Doctor Flat Line (I still couldn’t get over how terrible that name was) walked out of the room, “Now let’s get you ready to go.”

“I can take care of myself,” I said as I got out of the bed, “But, I would appreciate it if you told me what happened to my bowtie.”

“Oh… uh… yeah,” she quickly glanced around the room, before her eyes settled on to the nightstand next to my bed. My bowtie sat on the top of it, and I was again forced to question my environmental awareness (I am not blind, I swear).

After quickly putting on my collar and bowtie, I followed Vinyl down to the hospital lobby. “So (Cough), how far are we from our house?” I asked.

“About a mile, I’d guess,” Vinyl said, “But don’t worry, you won’t be walking.”

Before I could formulate an adequate response, Vinyl had picked me up with her levitation and plopped me down in a nearby wheelchair. “I can walk back home without help,” I said after Vinyl got me properly situated in the wheelchair.

“You heard the doctor, Tavi. You need to take it easy for the next few days, and that means letting me push you home.”

I let out a sigh, “Fine, but can you try to get me home without everypony in town seeing me?”

Vinyl nodded, and true to her word, managed to get me back home without pushing me through Ponyville’s more populated areas, and in the end only a handful of ponies saw me in my… infirm state. Once we got back to the house, I climbed out of the wheelchair and took a seat on the sofa.

“So,” Vinyl said, “I am going to go return the wheelchair to the hospital, and I should be back in an hour or so. Until then, just make yourself comfortable. Also, Lyra and Bon Bon should be over for our weekly game of Humans & Dragons.”

I nodded my head, “We will be talking with Lyra about her obsession with humans when she gets here, right?”

“Uhmm… No,” Vinyl said, frowning slightly, “Twilight is far too busy helping Rarity, and Bon Bon and I decided we should wait until you are feeling a bit better. So just take it easy, and don’t do anything stupid while I am gone.”

“Okay,” I said after another coughing fit, “And thank you again for all your help. It seems I am deeply indebted to you.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Vinyl said, grinning, “It’s what friends do.”

With that, Vinyl pushed the wheelchair out of the house to return it to the hospital, and I went back to staring at the ceiling. Without my roommate around, my good mood quickly evaporated and I went back to ruminating over the loss of my cello. I’ve already written at length about my thoughts on the loss of my cello and feel no need to reiterate them now. Suffice it to say, I spent a great length of time in a very foul mood that only abated when Vinyl returned.

“I am back,” she said as she came through the door, “How are you feeling?”

“I am fine,” I said as I rolled over on the sofa to face her, “Just…”

“Sulking about the loss of your cello?” She said, filling in the rest of the sentence for me.

“Well, I wouldn’t have phrased it quite like that, but… yes. You will have to forgive me if I don’t join you in playing Humans & Dragons tonight.” I rolled back on to my back to stare at the ceiling.

“Uhmm… yes you are,” Vinyl said, taking the seat adjacent to the couch, “I get that you are in a bad mood and all, but I promise tonight will be fun, and if not then you can sulk all of tomorrow, I promise.”

“No I can’t,” I said, “I have to do the orchestra auditions tomorrow and…” I let out a sigh, “I haven’t received any information about where the auditions are actually going to be held at.”

Vinyl was silent for a few seconds, nodding her head in thought, “I will get the info for you, and I will go to the auditions while you rest.”

I laughed at that, although the laughter quickly caused another coughing fit, “Sorry (cough), sorry, it’s just that (cough) are you even qualified to do orchestra auditions?”

Vinyl gave me another one of her death glares, and I tried to climb into the couch to hide from her. “I did spend four years as a music major, you know, I can handle myself.”

“Oh yes (cough), I am sure you know enough to evaluate and critique a musician, but I have spent years inside an orchestra, and (more coughing) let’s not forget that it’s my career that’s on the line, so I think I am going to go ahead and disregard the doctor’s orders and go to the audition.” (For my own sanity I will only make a note of the particularly egregious coughing fits.)

Vinyl sighed, “Fine, but I am going with you, and we are taking a wheelchair.”

“You can go with me, but can we please not take the wheel chair? I do have my dignity, still,” I said, hoping to broker a compromise

“That you do,” Vinyl said, “But you also have your health to keep in mind, and I don’t feel like letting you sacrifice your health to preserve your dignity. We will take the wheelchair, but I promise none of the potential orchestra members will see it.”

“If you insist,” I said, “Still, I don’t think a little walk will kill me.”

“Probably not,” she said, shrugging, “But let’s not risk it.”

I grumbled some impolite things, but it seemed the issue was settled.

“Anyways,” Vinyl said, “Since that’s done, I’m gonna go talk to Mayor Mare and see when and where the auditions are being held, I would recommend you get some rest before the Humans & Dragons game.”

I wanted to protest and say that I had never agreed to play Humans & Dragons, but an early afternoon nap did seem rather lovely after the previous day’s events, and while I hate admitting it, I wasn’t feeling my best, and some rest might help expedite my recovery. After Vinyl left, I made myself comfortable on the couch. In only a couple of minutes, I found myself drifting off to sleep, and, in what seemed like no time at all, Vinyl was tapping me on the shoulder. “Hey… Tavi, wake up.”

“I am awake Vinyl, you have only been gone for a few minutes,” I said.

“Uhmm… I have been gone for three hours; it is almost 5:00 now.”

“Oh,” I said as I opened my eyes and looked out the window. The sun WAS substantially lower in the sky now, and a very large puddle of drool had formed on my pillow. “Or maybe I managed to fall asleep and not realize it until just now. This couch is remarkably comfortable.”

“It is that,” Vinyl said, laughing, “But come on, let’s get your Humans & Dragons character created.”

Did Vinyl still think I was going to play some silly game with her and Lyra? Obviously, she did, so the proper question is “Why in Equestria would Vinyl thing I would want to play some silly game with her and Lyra?” To let her know my thoughts on the matter I gave out an exasperated sigh and rolled to face away from her.

“I know, it sounds corny and stupid, but it is actually really fun,” Vinyl said, trying to convince me to join in her little game.

“Listen, I am glad you and Lyra have fun playing your games, but since I am not a socially underdeveloped teenager, I really have no interest in playing H & D, so you will have to forgive me if I don’t join in tonight, or ever,” I was a socially underdeveloped twenty-something, but I saw no need to make that the focus of the conversation.

Vinyl was silent for a few minutes as she thought, “How about this, if you don’t have fun tonight, I will let you walk to the auditions tomorrow even though I think taking such a pointless risk is kind of… well, dumb.”

That was an interesting proposal, if I could suffer through one evening of Humans and Dragons, I wouldn’t have to be pushed to the auditions like an invalid. How could I say no to such an offer? “Alright Vinyl, I will play your little game tonight, but after that there will be no more invitations to join in, AND I expect you to honor the deal we just made.”

“You have my word as a lady, Tavi.”

“I would prefer something a little more substantial,” I said, ducking as she tossed a book at me, “But, I suppose that is sufficient enough.”

“Glad to hear it,” Vinyl said, trotting over to the bookshelf and pulling out a few… shockingly heavy tomes, “Now let’s create your character.”

“Octavia, Earth Pony, cellist,” I said, “There… character created.”

Vinyl frowned, “H & D doesn’t work like that, see, you have to choose between elves, humans, dwarves, halflings, gnomes, and a few other things we don’t have books for, and then you have to choose some classes and… just… look through it.”

She levitated the books towards me, and I spent quite some time flipping through the pages. The whole thing looked overwhelming. First, I had to choose a race, class, and alignment; then I had to roll for my stats; then pick some skills and talents,; create a name; choose my equipment; and then I would finally be ready to play the game assuming I could find someone to play it with. Who in Equestria thinks this is fun?

“Okay,” I said as I finally started to understand the character creation process, “So, then, what exactly do bards do?”

“Well, they are kind of like the face of the group. They are usually very charismatic, and help make everyone around them better.”

“But they play an actual instrument right?”

Vinyl nodded.

“Fine,” I said, “Octavia, human, bard who plays a cello, and I guess I will choose bluff and diplomacy for my active skills.”

She flipped through some guidebooks, “I don’t know, I don’t see a cello in the instrument section, although we do have some lyres and… I think they have one of those old-timey guitar things. Would that work?”

I glared at her.

“Or… I guess we could do a cello. So, you are a bard who plays the cello, even though a cello is just… awful for adventuring, I mean, it weighs, like, a ton, and would be next to impossible to carry around for any length of time.”

“It’s a game where you fantasy creatures murder other fantasy creatures with magic and swords, but you find carrying around a cello improbable.”

“Point taken,” Vinyl said, “You can carry around your cello without getting an encumbered penalty.”

“Hooray.”

“Now we just need to determine all your stats and stuff.”

“Okay,” Vinyl said after a bit more character customization, “Your character is looking pretty… decent, now I just need to figure out how they join our already established group.” She talked a bit more to herself (or maybe she was talking to me, but I wasn’t listening), and said something about us all meeting in an inn. Again, I cannot stress enough how uninterested I was, and was more amazed by the fact that I spent two hours creating a character. I could have played an actual board game in that amount of time.

“Can we play the actual game now?” I asked, looking at my now filled out character sheet.

Vinyl nodded, “We can, but we should probably wait for Lyra and Bon Bon, I told them to get here at seven, so they should be here pretty soon.”

“Alright,” I said, lying back down on the couch, “What should we do while we wait? Normally, I practice but…”

“Right,” Vinyl said, saving me from finishing that sentence, “Well, we could talk while we wait for them to show up.”

I snorted.

“Or you could continue to sulk all day.”

“Fine,” I said, lifting my head up slightly, “What do you want to talk about?”

“Hmm… I could tell you a bit about Ponyville,” Vinyl said after a few seconds of deliberation.

“The town is completely insane, although its citizens are surprisingly friendly. I think I am up to speed on life in Ponyville,” I know it might not have been the most dignified thing in the world, but I couldn’t resist the urge to roll my eyes.

“Then what do you like doing in Canterlot? I am sure you know quite a few places to have fun and relax.”

I shook my head, “If you want to know where anything in Canterlot that isn’t the orchestra hall or my apartment, I am not the pony to ask.”

“Really?” Vinyl said, “I mean, you lived there for seven years, and you don’t know where anything fun is?”

“I know where the coffee shop next to my house is. They have some wonderful coffee that isn’t horribly overpriced.””

“But, you spent most of your life living in Canterlot, you have to…”

I shook my head before she could finish the sentence, “I’m afraid not, Vinyl. I spent a vast majority of my time practicing the cello, and for that I didn’t need to go anywhere but my apartment and the orchestra hall. Oh! I also know where you can buy groceries in Canterlot.”

“Wow… Uhmm… Okay then,” Vinyl said, “That is actually kind of sad. I mean, you lived in one of the greatest cities in the world, and all you did there was stay in your room and practice the cello.”

She had a point; I had initially come to Canterlot because of its charm, but after arriving in the city, had neglected it for my studies.

“You’re right,” I said, “It is a very lovely city, and while I would have loved to explore it, I simply didn’t have the time. My goal is… was to become the best cellist in the Equestria, and that didn’t allow for a lot of exploring and socializing.”

Vinyl frowned, looking at me the same way one might look at a pony who just announced she had wired over all of her bits to help a Neighgerian prince, “Tavi, you are a magnificent cellist, and once you get your new cello, I am sure you will be spending all of your time locked up in your room practicing on it, but you don’t need to sacrifice your social life to become the best.”

I nodded my head at that, unwilling to respond as I felt a very large coughing fit coming on. After that, she spoke for a bit about various facets of life in Canterlot that I had missed out on, while I interrupted occasionally, either with a question or another coughing fit. What seemed like a short time later, somepony knocked on the door.

“Oh hey, Twilight,” Vinyl said as she opened the door, “Didn’t expect to see you in our little group today, I thought you would be busy helping Rarity.”

Twilight nodded as she entered the house, “I was. We have been working since dawn to fix up her house. I used my magic to help repair the walls and damage to the structure, Rarity worked on redecorating, and everypony else did what they could. Anyways, the whole thing is almost finished, and she is planning her grand reopening for Saturday, so you are all invited. Rarity also wishes to extend her sincerest thanks to Octavia for working to ensure everypony’s safety. Anyways, what have you been up to today?”

“Not much,” Vinyl said, “I have spent most of the day running errands for Tavi so she didn’t over exert herself, and she has been sulking about the loss of her cello.”

“I was not sulking,” I said, lifting my head off the couch, “I was merely mourning its loss.”

Twilight furrowed her brow as we spoke, “Okay, I have clearly missed something big, can anypony fill me in?”

Vinyl nodded, “Tavi cooked her lungs while dealing with the fire, and her cello was incinerated. She is not in the best of moods.”

“I don’t know why you keep saying that, Vinyl, I have been perfectly cordial.”

My roommate let out an exasperated sigh, “You are always… almost always perfectly cordial, I have to read between the lines to figure out how you are actually feeling.”

“Of course,” I said, before surrendering to another coughing fit.

“Well,” Twilight said, “I am glad to see that you are doing alright. Will you be joining our Humans & Dragons game tonight?”

I nodded, “Yes, but only because Vinyl is forcing me to.”

“I know it sounds silly,” Twilight said before Vinyl could respond, “And I thought I would hate it the first time Lyra and Bon Bon invited me to play, but it’s actually pretty fun. I am a level six wizard.”

“Alright,” I said, wondering again how anypony could enjoy this game, “I am playing as a human bard/cellist.”

Twilight simply nodded her head, deciding not to comment on my stunningly original choice of character.

“So,” I said, “Can we start playing and then have Lyra and Bon Bon join when the get here? I would prefer not to wait another hour for them to arrive.”

“Well, we could,” Vinyl said, “But we probably wouldn’t get very far since Bon Bon is our DM.”

“So we have to wait however long it takes for them to get here before we can start playing this stupid game.” I said, sighing in frustration (I have mastered every variety of sigh available during my brief time in Ponyville).

Vinyl nodded, “We could, or I could walk next door and get them.”

“Right, of course we could,” I said, feeling like an utter idiot, Lyra and Bon Bon had probably just lost track of time or had forgotten to adjust their clock for the end of Daylight Savings Time (Why do we have Daylight Savings Time when we have a celestial monarch who can raise the sun whenever she pleases?).

“Alrighty, I should be back in a few minutes,” Vinyl said, heading to the door.

Twilight and I stared at each other for a few seconds after Vinyl left. “Thank you again for helping Rarity out with the house fire, I am sure she will repay you somehow.”

I shrugged, “I just did what anypony else would do, I hardly think doing the right thing is worthy of commendation.”

She laughed, “That party was packed with ponies, and you were the only one who did something. Give yourself a little credit.”

“Nonsense, I merely assisted Fancypants and Rarity, if anything, I didn’t do enough to help and now my lungs are burned and my cello is… lost. My actions are hardly notable.”

Twilight tilted her head, “You aren’t seriously blaming yourself for the fire are you?”

“Why shouldn’t I? I could have stopped the girls, I could have reacted faster, and I definitely could have saved my cello. While it’s not all my fault, I could have done more.”

She sighed, “You do know that sounds completely crazy right? You are practically a hero for what you did to help Rarity. Not many ponies would have been so fast to react, and without you, the whole situation might have ended up a lot worse.”

“A hero?” I asked, struggling to restrain my laughter, “You are a hero. You saved the world more times than I can count, and for your efforts statues and stained glass murals were built in your name. And let’s not forget, Celestia made you a princess for all of your good deeds. On the other hoof, I had both my lungs and my most prized possession burned to a crisp, so you will pardon me if I don’t feel much like a hero.”

Twilight let out another sigh, “Tavi, do you think I ever expected a reward when I fought Nightmare Moon or Discord? I was convinced I was going to my death when I walked through the Everfree Forest, and after my first fight with Discord, well… I still don’t like talking about it. The point is, I didn’t do those things in the hopes of a reward, I did them because they had to be done.”

I nodded and closed my eyes, “I know, I know, it just… it hurts, I lost my cello and I can’t walk more than a few feet without having a coughing fit or feeling light headed or, if I am very unfortunate, passing out.”

“I am sorry that happened,” Twilight said, sitting next to me, “But you did the right thing.”

“I know that,” I said, “And that is what makes it so terrible. Because I did the right thing, these horrible things happened to me. If my punishment seemed just, I might be able to abide it, but this is just… cruel.”

“It is,” Twilight said, “But at least your heroics made you quite a few friends.”

“Yay,” I said, my voice absolutely dripping in sarcasm, “I am just swimming in friends now. Maybe Pinkie will throw me an I’m-sorry-your-lungs-got-scorched-and-you-lost-your-cello party.”

“Uhmm… actually, I think she is already planning a party for you and Rarity. In fact, I know she wants you as a guest of honor at Rarity’s Grand Reopening Party on Saturday,” Twilight said.

“Positively terrific.”

The conversation lulled for a bit after that, before I finally remembered something interesting Vinyl had told me the other day. “So, I heard that you believe humans are real. Might I ask why?”

“I know this sounds a bit incredible,” Twilight said, “But about a month ago, somepony stole my crown and escaped through a magic portal. I followed her and it led to a land filled with humans. From what I have read on the subject, I went to an alternate reality where, instead of ponies, humans became the dominant life form.”

“I… Really?”

Twilight nodded, “It is really quite fascinating, they don’t possess magic like we do, so they have to rely on their technological prowess.”

I sat up, actually curious about what the princess had to say (Although still not believing her entirely), “Well, earth ponies and pegasi don’t have access to magic.”

“No,” she said, slipping into her lecture mode, “They don’t have the ability to access raw magic like unicorns do, but pegasi and earth ponies still possess an innate magic that humans lack. Pegasus magic allows them to fly and walk on clouds, and earth pony magic grants you unparalleled strength, a heightened connection with the earth, and increased healing abilities.”

“Wait,” I said, “What was that about increased healing abilities?”

“Many ponies speculate on the reason for earth ponies’ increased healing abilities, but the most common theory is that it is connected to the fact that they typically have more physically demanding jobs than other ponies and as such get injured more frequently.”

“Then how come my lungs are charbroiled?” I asked, staring at her.

“Oh… right,” Twilight said, suddenly remembering who she was talking to, “Well, for starters you don’t have an automatic healing ability, it still takes time for you to recover, and it is quite possible that that increased healing ability is what kept you alive during the fire, although I couldn’t say more until I looked at your charts.”

That was… a sobering thought. I could have died in that fire, and it was very possible that the only reason I was still around was because of some innate magic I didn’t even know I possessed. I tried to think of something to say to break the silence stretching out between us, but was saved by Vinyl’s return to the house.

“Lyra and Bon Bon are definitely busy,” she said, her face paler than usual as she took deep gasping breaths.

“Why?” I asked, “What…”

“Don’t ask,” Vinyl said, “Let’s just accept that they were very VERY busy, and never talk about what they might or might not have been doing again.”

Twilight and I looked at each other, “So… they were having se-”

Vinyl nodded, cutting me off, “Yes, yes they were. Lots of it, with lots of little… tools. Now can we talk about something else?”

We nodded. “Great,” Vinyl said, “I did manage to get their attention, and they should be over in a few minutes, so… let’s get set up.”

The set up wasn’t particularly time consuming, and it mostly consisted of rearranging the items in the living room to make a decent gaming area. Nopony had to move my couch, so I was able to stay on it while Twilight and Vinyl levitated everything around. As much as I hate admitting it, unicorn magic has its advantages. After they were done, we spoke a little bit, and Vinyl tidied up. Twilight did her best to fill me in on what we would be doing in the game session, and what I should expect, while I did my best to smile and nod.

Finally, the door opened and Vinyl and Bon Bon entered, “Sorry, everyone,” Bon Bon said, “Lyra and I were a bit busy and we lost track of time. Shall we get started?” She pulled a stack of papers, a divider thingy, and a bag of dice out of her saddlebag. “So, is Octavia joining us tonight?”

Vinyl nodded.

“Alright,” Bon Bon said, heading over to the section of Vinyl’s bookcase that contained the H & D manuals, “Has she created her character yet, or…”

“Nope,” Vinyl said, “We rolled her character already. She is playing a bard named Octavia who specializes in playing the cello.”

“Really?” Bon Bon asked, “Octavia, you do know that most of the fun in the game is creating a character who is different from you.”

“Yeah,” Lyra said, chiming in, “Like, I am playing a human cleric and Vinyl is playing a barbarian. Twilight is playing an elven wizard though, so I guess she isn’t that different. Sorry Twilight.”

“It’s alright,” Twilight said, “Alluniel did start out as an elven version of me, but she kind of developed in a different direction than I did.”

“Can we just start playing the game, please?” I said, “Vinyl forced me into playing this game tonight, and I would prefer to get some sleep, so let’s get started shall we?”

“Okay,” Bon Bon said, “Does anyone want some snacks or something to drink real fast?”

“Game, now,” I said, resting my head in my hoof.

“Alright, alright, we just normally talk and socialize a bit before the game starts.”

I sighed, “You can do that after the game, let’s just get this started.”

“Okay,” Bon Bon said, sitting behind her divider thing, “Last session, we found out that the overlord Patrachus is raising an army to overthrow the empire of Silurias, and our heros,” she nodded at the rest of the anthropology club, “Have come to the town of Dreary to call for aid against his impending attack. They are currently staying at the Dreary Inn, where you are playing on your…”

“Cello,” I said, filling in the gap for her.

“Wow, cello, okay. Really breaking some new ground there,” Bon Bon said, before Vinyl shot her a glare that would freeze blood.

“Or… that is fine. You are putting on a performance at the Dreary Inn, playing on your cello. Roll.”

“What?” I asked.

“Roll your 20-sided die to see how your performance is going.”

“My character spent a lifetime practicing on her cello, she doesn’t need to do a skill check to see if she is playing adequately.”

“Okay, you are playing on your cello, everyone is generally interested, when suddenly three adventurers walk into the inn,” Bon Bon said, “You see that they are a part of a grand adventure, and you feel the urge to join them.”

“Why?” I asked, “I am a successful cellist, and I have no real incentive to help them, what skill set could I possibly possess that would enable them to save the world? Will the villain have a sudden change of heart if I talk to him nicely? And is the world even in danger, or is this more of a regime change than anything else? Why is Patrarchus so bad, and what makes Silurias so good that it needs saving?”

The four other ponies glared at me.

“Fine,” I said, “After I finish playing my set, I walk over to them and ask what brings them to our town.”

“The adventurers regale you with tales of-”

“Bon Bon,” Lyra said, “You are being a bit railroadey right now, let me talk.”

“Fine,” Bon Bon said.

“Pemrose, the cleric, gets up from her bar stool as the bard approaches, “Good evening young miss, might I say you are particularly skilled with your cello?’”

“Thank you m’lady,” Octavia says, bowing before the cleric, “You do me great honor, I am but a simple minstrel, skilled only in word and song.”

“You do yourselves great dishonor, young lady,” Alluniel the Arcanist says, turning to face the bard, “In these dark days, one skilled in the fine art of diplomacy is a valued thing.”

Octavia nods her head at the mage, “I think one skilled in sword and stave would be better suited for these dark days, not one such as I.”

“Ahh, but that is where you’re wrong,” Alluniel says, “Now, more than ever, we need one who can keep to the arts of peace and prevent bloodshed from consuming all.”

“If you insist… Wait, wait, I have to know, would my character have actually seen an elf before, I mean, from these notes of yours, it looks like Dreary is pretty isolated. Because if she hasn’t, I feel like she should be freaking out a bit more.”

“What are you talking about, Tavi?” Bon Bon asked as I interrupted the campaign.

“I am just curious about the dynamics of Dreary, how are elves and outsiders viewed if they are viewed at all? Your notes describe the town as dark and… well, dreary, and isolated from the rest of the empire of Silurias, so I was just wondering how outsiders are viewed in the city. I am trying to have a realistic character portrayal and all.”

“If your character has spent her entire life in Dreary, she would definitely have heard of elves, and possibly even seen a few, but it is very unlikely that she would have actually spoken with one.”

“Okay, follow up question, then,” I said, “Are there any honorifics titles for elves, and would my character know them?”

“Uhmm… probably not,” Bon Bon said, “I mean, I didn’t think of it before, but… yeah, there could be. Twilight, you read all the stuff on elves, did you find anything?”

Twilight nodded eagerly, “Actually, yes. The proper greeting for an elven mage is Arcanos, so my character should be called Arcanos Alluniel.”

“Okay,” I said, “Let’s get back to the game.”

Octavia nods her head at the mage, “If you insist, Miss…”

“Arcanos,” Alluniel says, correcting the bard.

“If you insist, Miss Arcanos.”

“No, no, no,” Alluniel says, laughing and shaking her head, “My title is Arcanos, my name is Alluniel.”

Octavia grins sheepishly, as blood rushes to her face, “You will have to forgive me, Arcanos, I am but a simple bard who has spent her entire life within the city’s walls, and as such am unaccustomed to the ways of elves.”

“You know,” Pemrose says, “You are very clearly skilled in the ways of diplomacy, and your music fills us with vigor. We could use you on our quest if you wouldn’t mind parting with Dreary for some time.”

“I have nothing that holds me hear,” Octavia says, “And I have always wanted to see the wonders of the world, but I would only go if it was okay with the rest of your companions.”

Alluniel and Pemrose confer for a few moments before turning to Octavia and inviting her to travel with them.”

“What about your other companion? You didn’t speak with her at all,” Octavia asks.

“That is O-den, she is a very skilled warrior who hails from a far off land, and as such, she knows little of our tongue.”

“O-den!” O-den says before downing another drink.

(Thank you for that wonderful bit of roleplaying, Vinyl.)

“Yes… thank you for that lovely introduction, Oden,” a visibly frightened Pemrose says, nodding at her much larger companion, “This young woman here is Octavia, she will be joining us on our adventure.”

“Tavi!”

“No, O-den, her name is Octavia, not Tavi.”

“It is quite alright,” Octavia says, “Quite a few ponies around here call me Tavi.”

“Ponies?” Alluniel asks, “I have heard of many peculiar things happening in the land of Dreary, but talking ponies was not one of them.”

“I meant… people, pardon me, it was a slip of the tongue,” Octavia says.

“Ahh! The lady has the equine malady,” Alluniel says, “It is quite common amongst adventurers. People will confuse ponies with people, hands with hooves. While peculiar, the malady is quite harmless, and only serves to embarrass its victim.”

“Well, Octavia,” Pemrose says, ignoring Alluniel’s fourth-wall breaking tangent, “It is getting late, and we must speak with the Lord of Dreary on the morrow, do you have a place to stay?”

Octavia nods, “I have lived in this town my whole life and…

“Ooh!” I said, an idea suddenly forming in my head, “May I speak to Bon Bon alone for a moment?”

“Yeah, sure,” Bon Bon said as she got up and headed into the kitchen, “What is it?”

“Well,” I said, as I followed her into the kitchen, “I hadn’t considered my character’s genealogy, and as we spoke an idea came to me…”

Octavia nods, “I have lived in this town my whole life, and it is funny you mention the Lord of Dreary, because I am the daughter of his steward. My line has served him faithfully for many generations, and when my father dies, my brother will inherit his title.”

“Well then,” Pemrose says, “It seems our meeting was fated by the gods. Where shall we meet tomorrow?”

“You are more than welcome to spend the night with me in the palace, I am sure my father can find a few spare rooms for you.”

“Well,” Alluniel says, grabbing her staff, “We are on a mission from the Emperor, so I see no reason why we wouldn’t take these accommodations.”

“Hmm, yes,” Pemrose says, “While we were advised to be cautious, I think we can accept this little bit of hospitality.”

“Then it is settled,” Alluneil says, heading for the door, “We shall spend the night at Castle Dreary, and speak with its lord tomorrow. Do you still have the writ given to us by the Emperor, Pemrose?”

Pemrose nods and the adventurers depart the inn. Their new party member, Octavia, escorts them to the palace gates, where they are quickly ushered into the guest chambers.

The game was unfortunately interrupted at that point as a familiar grey pegasus flew through our window (As much as I hate admitting it, I was beginning to enjoy myself).

“Hello, Ditzy,” I said, turning my head to face her.

“Oh hey!” She said, “I heard about the fire and I came over to check on you as soon as I could, are you alright?”

I nodded my head, “I am fine, just playing Humans & Dragons.”

She looked around, eyes wild, “Humans & Dragons? I love Humans & Dragons! We will have to play together sometime.” Oh joy.

“Well, I am sure we can work something out,” I said, “Vinyl pretty much forced me to play with her tonight, and to my surprise, I am actually kind of enjoying it. At the very least, I like the roleplaying element, I haven’t gotten into any actual combat yet.”

“Oh, you are gonna love it. I have the best level 23 paladin, although I have other characters too, so I can play with you without being overlevelled.”

“Thank you,” I said, sitting up, “So, is there any reason behind your visit beyond the well-wishing?”

“Oh, no… Not really, I mean… I was wondering why Vinyl wasn’t DJing for Dinky’s birthday party, but since you all are busy, I guess that is okay.”

Vinyl shot up from her seat, “Oh man, thank you for reminding me Ditzy, I was so focused on helping out Tavi, I completely forgot that I was DJing for your party tonight. Let me just grab my stuff.”

“No worries,” Ditzy said as Vinyl galloped upstairs, “You are usually pretty punctual, so I figured something was up, and I thought I would check up on you. Dinky was so upset when she thought you might not make it to DJ for her.”

Vinyl didn’t respond as she had already run into her music room at that point. She came downstairs a few minutes later with several albums floating next to her, “Sorry, Ditzy, you know it’s not like me to forget a gig.

“I know,” Ditzy said, as Vinyl went into the closet under the stairs, “And everything in Ponyville has been so busy the last couple of days, with the fire, and all those musicians coming into town, I just figured something came up, and I would check to see if you were alright.”

“Wait,” I said, finally entering into the conversation after a particularly excruciating coughing fit, “What was that last thing you mentioned?”

“Oh,” Ditzy said, “It is just that a bunch of musicians came into town for some reason, and they booked up all the inns in town. They said it had something to do with the Ponyville Orchestra, but that can’t be right because there is no Ponyville Orchestra, so we got into a really big fight about it, and I sent them on their way.”

“Two things,” I said, “The first thing is: musicians actually came to audition for the Ponyville Orchestra?”

“Yeah,” Ditzy said, “Wait a second, there actually is a Ponyville Orchestra?”

“And the second thing is: You sent them back home?” I yelled, rising to my hooves with every intention of murdering the aptly named pegasus. Fortunately for her, I was brought back to my knees by another coughing fit.”

“Oh hey,” Vinyl said as she emerged from the closet, uhmm… we should probably get going before Tavi gets back to her feet, she has had a rough day and is looking to take it out on someone.”

Ponies had come out to join the Ponyville Orchestra, enough ponies to fill every inn in town, and then Ditzy had sent them all away. “You… you ruined my career,” I said after the coughing fit had subsided, only to find that the two ponies had departed.

“Are you okay?” Lyra asked, staring at me.

Something deep inside me snapped and all of my pent-up frustrations from the last few days were unleashed on my friend, “Am I okay? Am I okay? Let’s see, in the past twenty-four hours, my cello has been destroyed, my lungs were flambéed, my career was ruined, and I am stuck here playing Humans & Dragons because you are a crazy pony who abducted me yesterday morning. But wait, I can’t say that, because Vinyl and Bon Bon are your friends and they are willing to do anything to spare your feelings, up to and including putting up with your unhealthy obsession. So no, I am not okay Lyra, not in the slightest.”

She fled the house with Bon Bon following behind her. “That’s right,” I said, chasing them out the door, “Go… run away, run back to your basement filled with crazy conspiracy theories, and leave me in peace.”

“And you,” I turned to face Twilight. I planned on verbally eviscerating her, on informing her of every way in which she was a terrible pony, starting with her insistence that humans were real. How dare she fuel a crazy person’s delusions and hurt the feelings of my friend (Yes, I know that was a mite hypocritical considering my recent rant, but nopony ever said anger was a rational thing). “You… Why does everything around me go horrible?”
The anger had burnt itself out, and the only thing left in its place was a deep sense of sadness. Things had gone terribly for me, everything that could go bad had, and now I had lost my temper and made somepony else cry. Well done Octavia. Maybe next time things don’t go my way I can go to an orphanage and remind the foals that nopony will ever love them like their dead parents did.

To my surprise, Twilight didn’t yell at me for being a terrible pony. Instead, she wrapped her wings around me until I finished sobbing/coughing. “Thank you,” I said after I had returned to my senses.

“It’s alright,” Twilight said, “You have had a rough couple of days, and I am sure Lyra and Bon Bon will forgive you if you apologize to them tomorrow. For now though, you need to get your rest.”

I nodded my head in compliance, “It has been a busy day, and I am no good to anypony when I am tired.”

“That’s right,” Twilight said as she marched me towards my room, “And just remember, tomorrow has to be better than today.”

It would be, I thought as I took off my bowtie and tucked myself into bed. No matter how bad things were now, tomorrow was a new day, filled with potential. Some ponies would come to my auditions, I would make an orchestra worthy of the Princess of the Night, and I would patch things up with Lyra and Bon Bon. What could go wrong?

Day 8

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One week. It has been one week since the whole Ponyville ordeal started. In that time, I have upset the entire town, alienated a royal princess, lost a majority of my worldly possessions (although, in the defense of the pony that lost them, some of those possessions were later reclaimed), been subjugated to two of the worst parties in existence, had my cello and lungs burned to a crisp, and the auditions for the orchestra went exceptionally poorly, but I am getting ahead of myself there.

The day started… well, it started better than yesterday as I didn’t wake up to find myself in a hospital. Instead, I awoke in the midst of a violent coughing fit and spent my first twenty minutes of wakefulness struggling for breath. All in all, this was probably one of the better mornings I had in Ponyville as it didn’t start with me being abducted, waking up in a foreign environ, waking up with another pony in my bed (Although, that morning wasn’t too terrible after I got past my initial shock), or waking up to find the town had been taken over by Discord (The last one hadn’t happened yet, but I am sure it is only a matter of time).

After the fit subsided, I got to my hooves and moved over to my vanity, where I combed my hair and put on my bowtie and collar while planning out the day’s events. I didn’t have to be at the town hall for another two hours, so I could work on mending my relationship with Lyra and Bon Bon, or I could stay in my bedroom and sulk.

Ten minutes later, the sulking had lost its appeal. As much as I hated the idea of facing Lyra and Bon Bon and apologizing for my atrocious behavior the other night, I would have to mend that relationship sooner or later, and I might as well deal with it now. I let out a sigh and headed over to my to my neighbor’s house. I knocked on the door and heard somepony moving around.

“Oh hey,” Bon Bon said after opening the door, “What’s up?”

“I… I wanted to apologize to you and Lyra for my atrocious behavior last night. You know I am usually more reserved, but yesterday… Well, I am ashamed to admit it, but my temper got the best of me.” Again.

“Yeah, okay, come on in. Lyra is just practicing for the auditions today, she should be ready in a few minutes.”

“She is going to the auditions today?” I asked, genuinely surprised that she would want to help me after my foul behavior the other night.

“Mhmm…” Bon Bon said as I entered the house, “It’s not like Lyra to hold much of a grudge, and your rant did help get Lyra and I talking.”

“Oh,” I said, genuinely pleased at the news, “Did you reach any sort of consensus or conclusion?”

“Kind of,” Bon Bon said, laughing, “I mean, she knows that Vinyl and I think her human obsession is just a tad excessive at the moment, but she feels she is on the verge of a major breakthrough. So, she has agreed to focus more on her music and put the whole human thing on the back-burner for now. She will still do her research stuff from time to time, but it will no longer be her main priority”

“Wait, I am confused,” I said as I took a seat, “it sounds like she is doing everything we requested, so why did you only say ‘kind of.’”

“Well, she still wants to keep the Illustrious Order of Anthropologists as is, and she absolutely refuses to clean out the basement,” Bon Bon said.

“Pardon my ignorance, but what does her cleaning the basement have to do with her human obsession?”

“Oh, right, well Lyra has kind of made the basement her main research area and stuffed it with weird drawings, article clippings, and human shaped mannequins. Some of them are okay, but others were designed, by her, to reveal a humans muscular and skeletal structure. All of this is based on her research and drawings of course.”

“That doesn’t sound… too bad,” I said, trying to stay diplomatic.

“No, you don’t understand Tavi, some of the models look like they are cut open and you can see all of their insides and…” She shuttered, “And then there is the skull.”

“The skull?” I asked.

“Yeah, right on her desk. She says it is a genuine human skull and evidence of human involvement in Equestria. I think it is the skull of some unfortunate deformed pony. Either way it is incredibly morbid and I want it out of my house.”

If I had been drinking something, I would have done a spit-take, as it was, I had to struggle to contain my reaction. “I admit, that is a touch excessive, still… No, I can’t think of a reasonable defense of that, there is a skull in your home.”

“Thank you,” Bon Bon said, “Finally somepony agrees with me. Vinyl thinks it is harmless and doesn’t hurt anypony, and Twilight just got tight-lipped when I brought it up. I don’t really know anypony else well enough to tell them about the skull in my basement.”

I nodded my head, “Perfectly reasonable, mentioning that you have a skull stored in your house doesn’t make for the best conversation starter. Although I would have to imagine it is great at ending conversations.”

Bon Bon laughed at that, “Quite true, but anyways, I really should be fetching Lyra. She will want to know you are here.”

I wanted to protest and tell Bon Bon she could put off fetching Lyra so that I might apologize to her for as long as possible, but that didn’t really seem like the mature thing to do in this situation (Of course, a mature pony wouldn’t verbally eviscerate one of her friends).

Now seems like an appropriate time to comment on the… unique nature of their decor. The first thing that strikes you upon entering the door is the overwhelming pinkness of the place. The walls are one shade of pink, the carpet is a different shade of pink, and the drapes are yet another shade of pink. The only things that offset it are the green chairs in the middle of the living room, the rest of the place is like a giant pink ocean threatening to devour you.

Then, on closer inspection you begin to notice the oddities used to fill the space. Several framed candy wrappers adorn the walls, the bookshelf is filled with books on making candy, and the whole place smells like the insides of some terrible sugar factory. If I had to guess, I would say Bon Bon did a majority of the design work for the living room. However, the space was not… devoid of Lyra’s influence. A stack of books sat next to one of the chairs, with titles like “The Human Conspiracy” and “People: Not Just for Foal’s Anymore.” There were a few other human themed knickknacks, like a small wooden statue sitting on one of the bookshelves and a painting of a human woman smiling. Bon Bon did her best to make these items less… prevalent, but they were still very noticeable. The human statue, in particular, was particularly unnerving, and the longer I sat in silence, staring at it, the more it made my skin crawl. I was about to leave the room when Bon Bon and Lyra came downstairs.

“Hey Tavi!” Lyra said, bouncing down the stairs, “Glad to see you are up early.”

“I am always up early, Lyra, unless somepony abducted me in the middle of the night, then I suppose I tend to sleep in. Anyways, why are you being so cordial?”

“Uhh… I don’t follow? Why wouldn’t I be cordial? We are friends.” Lyra said.

“Because I… You… The other night, I said… Gah!” It was not my most elegant moment.

Thankfully, Bon Bon was better prepared to deal with Lyra’s incessant cheerfulness, “She thinks you should be mad at her because she yelled at you.”

“Ohhhhhhhh,” Lyra said, eyes going wide, “Yeah, I guess that would kind of make sense, but I am just not that upset with you.”

“Might I ask why?”

She scratched her head, “Well, I guess it is cause you don’t get mad at me like most other ponies do. They laugh at me for having any interest in humans, you yelled at me for taking that interest too far. You are still supportive and have my best interests at heart; they are just kind of… jerks. Does that make any sense?”

I nodded my head. It did make sense, although it was strangely sad. Lyra’s interests, while admittedly peculiar, didn’t actively hurt anypony, but she made it sound like her love of humans had cost her quite a few friendships. In her eyes, my basic tolerance and acceptance of her hobby translated into friendship. At least, that is my interpretation of her remarks; my guesses could be completely and totally incorrect, they often were.

“Well, I thank you for your understanding. While my rant was rather abrasive, I wasn’t mad at you, I just lost my temper after a series of long terrible days, and you were the closest pony around.”

She shrugged, “Okay, I mean… you did bring up a few points, and that got Bon Bon and I talking, and then after we finished talking… we made up.”

I didn’t want to ask about how they made up, my mind was already doing a lovely job filling me in on the particulars. The terrible sweaty particulars. “Then, thank you Lyra. I was really dreading coming here and having to apologize, and you made the experience far more pleasant than I expected.”

“Don’t worry about it Tavi, I do tend to get carried away with my interests and hobbies, and need someone to keep things from getting excessive. Besides, I can’t get upset with anything that led to Bon Bon and I having steaming hot make-up s—”

“No! No!” I said, interrupting her before she could finish that thought, “No need to explain, I am just glad that you aren’t upset with me.”

“Alright,” Lyra said, “Well, I will see you at the auditions then. Hope I get in.”

I laughed, “Considering that Ditzy got rid of most of the other ponies coming out to audition, I am sure you will. I don’t know if I will have enough ponies coming out to make a fully formed orchestra, but there will definitely be a spot in it for you. Although, I have to ask, do you play a lyre or a harp?”

Lyra nodded her head, “Yes.”

“No, I mean, which one do you play, I always get confused and keep mixing them up, so I was hoping you would settle the issue for me.” The fact that I couldn’t figure out what instrument she played had been bugging me for several days. Sometimes it looked like she was playing a harp and other days I was sure she was playing a lyre.

“Uhmm… I play both. I can play pretty any much string instrument like that.”

“Wait,” I said, “So you can play a cello then?”

Lyra shook her head, “No, not really, I should have clarified; I can play the string instruments that don’t have bows or other tools to play them. See, they are kind of odd to play with hooves and magic, so most ponies struggle with them, because the instruments were initially designed to be played with hands. I mean, the design doesn’t fit a pony, but it is perfect for a human and…”

My mind wandered off, I didn’t particularly feel like listening to another lecture about humans after I spent two hours designing a human character for Lyra’s game.

“But basically, I can play any instrument that was originally designed to be played with a person’s hands. I actually designed a magical hand for harp playing before even hearing about humans, I guess it is what made me so fascinated by them, and after I started thinking about it, I saw how our world would work so much better with hands than hooves.”

“Well,” I said after she finished speaking, “That actually sounds… interesting. I didn’t know that your interest in humans stemmed from the fact that you played your lyre by imagining a hand strumming the strings. In that light, your two interests actually coincide quite nicely.”

“Yeah,” Lyra said, scratching her head, “I probably wouldn’t have gotten interested in humans if my special talent wasn’t playing the lyre. Kind of weird how it all works out.”

“Anyways,” I said, hoping to end the conversation so I could finish prepping for the auditions, “I need to get home and make sure Vinyl is up so she can get ready for her role in today’s auditions. I look forward to seeing you there this afternoon.”

Lyra and Bon Bon nodded, “Anytime, Tavi.”

I got up and walked out of their house, quickly returning to my home where I was brought low by another one of my coughing fits as soon as I came through the door. And I had been doing so well during my conversation with Lyra, I thought as the fit finally subsided and I rolled over on my side. I heard hoofsteps coming from upstairs; my coughing must have woken Vinyl up.

“You all right, Tavi?” She asked as she came downstairs. Her eyes were still half shut, and she lacked she didn’t have her signature purple goggles anywhere on her.

“Yeah, I am fine,” I said, getting back up on my hooves, “I just had… I got up and you were still asleep so I decided to go apologize to Lyra and Bon Bon?”

“What happened?” She asked, a look of concern flashing through her eyes. A shame she had them covered up so often, they were really quite lovely and- No! Stop it Octavia. While Vinyl has many lovely features, there is really no need to comment on them or take time to specifically note them in your journal (However, it is apparently perfectly acceptable to write several lines chastising yourself for compliment her appearance).

“Oh, after you left, I lost my temper and yelled at Lyra. Thankfully, she is perfectly happy to live and let live. Her ability to forgive is rather astounding.”

Vinyl laughed, “No kidding, especially since you are… kind of mean when you lose your temper.”

I contorted my face into an expression of mock shock, “Why whatever are you saying Vinyl? I am always cordial and polite.”

“Wait,” Vinyl said, “Was that a joke? From you? I didn’t think you had a sense of humor. I mean, you are funny, just not… intentionally.”

“I will have you know,” I said, sitting down on the sofa, “That I can be quite comedic when the mood takes me, it is just that my jokes tend to be rather, well, dry.”

“Yeah, no, I noticed that,” she said, sitting next to me, “In fact, your jokes are so understated nopony ever notices them. ‘Cept for that one joke you told when you were hammered, that one was hilarious.”

“What joke?” I asked, not recalling any jokes I made during that night.

She laughed, “You mean you don’t remember? Well then, I am certainly not going to tell you now. You would probably find it raunchy and uncouth.”

Oh Celestia, how terrible was the joke? Could it… I mean, I didn’t really know any dirty jokes, and I found it unlikely that drunk me knew jokes that sober me didn’t. “I’ll have to take your word on that,” I said, trying to hide my embarrassment, “And many ponies find my jokes humorous.”

“Of course they do,” Vinyl said, nodding her head. She clearly didn’t believe me, but I didn’t much feel like arguing with her about how funny I could be. If she didn’t appreciate my sense of humor by now, I doubted arguing would convince her.

“Well,” I said, “What should we do before the auditions start? I don’t typically have this much free time, but my lack of interest makes practicing rather impossible actually.”

“Yeah, I know,” Vinyl said, “Before we do anything else, I am gonna make some coffee. Mornings and me do not get along well.”

I nodded, “Of course. While you do that, I will make some breakfast for us.”

Making breakfast was more of a chore than usual. Cereal didn’t seem appropriate, and everything else was far too difficult to make without asking Vinyl for magical assistance. I eventually decided to just get some muffins from the pantry. It wasn’t a particularly fancy breakfast, but it went well with the coffee and made for a decent start to the day (Although my day had already been going on for more than an hour at that point).

“Thanks for making breakfast,” Vinyl said as she took a bite out of one of the store-bought muffins I found.

“I know it’s not particularly fancy, but it is nearly impossible to make a complex meal without using magic. If I want a nice meal I go eat out.”

“Cooking is that difficult for you?” Vinyl asked, “I know I am not the best at it, but you make it sound physically painful.”

“What can I say?” I said, shrugging, “Cooking is that easy when you don’t have access to levitation magic.”

“Huh, that’s odd,” she said, tapping her chin, “Pinkie Pie and Bon Bon both make food for a living, maybe I can see if either of them will give you a few tips.”

“Please ask Bon Bon first,” I said, shuttering at the thought of spending an entire day listening to Pinkie give me baking tips. Knowing her she probably had some song she sang while cooking. While a perfectly lovely pony, I felt her company was best enjoyed in moderation. Extreme moderation.

“Yeah, alright,” she said, taking another bite of muffin, “Although Pinkie is better at making actual food… Bon Bon’s special talent is making candy.”

“But she still knows how to make an actual meal right? She doesn’t have Lyra do the cooking for her, right?”

“Oh no,” Vinyl said, “She can cook up a great meal, but she makes the best candy, and Pinkie’s cupcakes are to die for.”

“Well, if Bon Bon won’t help me, I will be more than happy to have Pinkie tutor me. I would just prefer a slightly more… balanced pony’s assistance.”

Vinyl nodded, “Say no more then. Now, I think we should be heading down to the town hall and get the auditions started.”

I let out a small laugh as I stood back up, “Why bother, nopony will show up, Ditzy saw to that last night.”

“Ehh,” Vinyl said, “Ponyville has a few decent musicians, off the top of my head, I can think of Lyra, Fiddlesticks, me, and Pinkie.”

“Then, assuming all of those ponies audition and are capable of playing in an actual orchestra,” Which I highly doubted, “We will have a grand total of five ponies. That is the saddest excuse for an orchestra I could possibly imagine.” Also, I dread finding out what type of instrument Pinkie plays, and as for Vinyl… I don’t think the Princess wants a DJ in her orchestra. Still, at this point I won’t discriminate based on lack of talent, training, or proper instrument. If a pony can play something and make it sound like music, then they have a spot in the Princess’s orchestra. May Celestia have mercy on me.

“But, I suppose you are right,” I said as I headed to the door, “We might as well get it over with.”

“Glad to hear it,” Vinyl said, “Now stay here while I get out your wheelchair.”

Oh right, she wanted to push me to the auditions as opposed to letting me walk myself there, because apparently she thought I was so infirm that I couldn’t walk the half mile to the town hall myself. “You do realize that I am more than capable of walking myself to the auditions, right Vinyl? While I do appreciate your concern, it is, in this instance, unnecessary.”

“Uhh… yeah, I am still going to push you there, and no, you can’t talk your way out of it.”

“But I am fine,” I said, protesting.

“Octavia, two nights ago, I had to carry you to the hospital because I thought you were about to die, and if it hadn’t been for me, you probably would have. So could you just humor me and let me push you to the auditions, because that is not an experience I have any intention of ever reliving.”

I sighed and nodded my head, “Alright, I… Thank you for saving my life, Vinyl. I didn’t think of how terrible that night must have been for you.”

“Thank you,” she said as she pulled a wheel chair out of her closet, “Now let’s get you to the auditions.”

I nodded and sat down in her chair, it wasn’t what I would have preferred, but if it made things easier for Vinyl, then I could swallow my pride. “I would like to apologize Vinyl, I had no idea my coughing fit was so traumatic for you. Would you care to talk about it?”

“Thank you, and it was,” Vinyl said as she pushed me out of the house and levitated me down the stairs, “And there isn’t much to talk about, a pony that I count as one of my best friends started wheezing and coughing and passed out right in front of me, and I was convinced she was going to die. So… yeah, not exactly pleasant.”

“Wait,” I said as we made our way out onto the street, “I am one of your best friends?”

“Of course!” She said, “I mean, yeah we have only known each other for a week and we kind of butt heads all the time, but you are one of the kindest, most honest ponies out there. Once somepony can get past your rather…”

“Abrasive,” I said, filling in for her.

“Uhh… yeah, okay, let’s go with abrasive. Once somepony can get past your rather abrasive exterior, that is.”

I nodded my head and we moved in silence for a little while, while I tried to get comfortable in my chair, “Who in Equestria designed this?” I asked, throwing my hooves up in resignation.

“Well,” Vinyl said, “According to Lyra, they are relics from human interactions with Equestria. They aren’t particularly comfortable for a pony, but a human can fit in a wheelchair perfectly.”

Damn it! My decaying mental state had finally reached where the most reasonable explanation for something required the existence of humans. I didn’t feel particularly insane, but I am often told that mad mares don’t. Still, I could ruminate on my possible loss of mental stability later; right now I had some (terrible) auditions to hold.

“Alright,” I said, raising a hoof into the air, “We are here, so let me get out so I can walk the last little distance.”

Vinyl started to protest, but I cut her off before she could say more than a very emphatic no, “Vinyl, I am just going to walk from the door to my seat, you promised you would let me do that at least.”

She sighed, “I know, I know, it is just that—”

I interrupted her again, “I understand Vinyl, but a quick walk won’t kill me. Besides, I must make a good first impression.”

“But you already know most of the ponies that came out to audition, the only one you don’t know is Fiddlesticks, and she…”

Vinyl trailed off, refusing to finish her thought. “Well, you’ll see soon enough.”

She brought the wheelchair to a halt, allowing me to launch myself out of the wheelchair and on to the ground. “Next time we do this, can you just levitate me around?” I said as I got back on my hooves.

I mumbled something about the wheelchair’s terrible design and failure to account for pony movement while Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, I think using my magic might be a little bit easier next time. If you don’t mind me picking you up, that is.”

“It is certainly preferable to throwing myself out of the wheelchair and landing face first on the ground.” I said as I dusted myself off and made sure my coat was absolutely flawless. Some ponies might not care about their appearance in a professional setting, but I am not them. I was representing Princess Luna, the monarch of the night, and while I was doing so I would be the best pony possible (Although I like to think that I strive to be the best pony possible at all times, I would not tolerate any lapse in decorum while representing the Princess).

Taking another deep breath to steady myself (and almost prompting another coughing fit), I poised myself with as much dignity as I could muster, opened the doors, and strode confidently into the town hall… to find it completely empty. That was legitimately disappointing, I thought as I sat down in front of the small stage that took up one end of the hall (Although the building was far too circular to be a hall).

“I’m so glad to see that my grand entrance wasn’t wasted,” I said as Vinyl sat next to me, “Will anypony be auditioning today or am I just going to stare at an empty stage for the four hours the auditions are scheduled for?”

“No,” Vinyl said, talking mostly to herself at this point, “I spoke with several ponies and they promised that they would come down and audition, they could be late or…”

She stood up, “There is a back room, most of the ponies are probably in there rehearsing, let me go check.”

I nodded my head and after she departed, I stared at the empty stage. In a few hours I would know exactly how hopeless my mission was and could begin making the necessary arrangements. If I was very fortunate, my failure would only be minor, and I would be allowed to move back to Canterlot in a few months to resume my normal life, if not, well, I could always try my hoof at performing for private engagements. They couldn’t all be as disastrous as my last one. Hopefully.

“Alright,” Vinyl said, appearing from backstage, “We have five ponies auditioning today, Lyra, Pinkie, Fiddlesticks, Twilight, and myself, in that order.” With that, she passed me a sheet of paper, with each pony’s name and instrument written on it.

I looked it over, “Okay, Lyra will be playing her lyre, Pinkie will be playing… That can’t be right, there are far too many instruments written here.’

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, “But she can play them all at once, and… well, you will see.”

“I will, and if she really can play all these instruments then we might be able to make a passable orchestra, non-traditional, but passable.”

Fiddlesticks, whoever she was, had written that she would be playing the fiddle before hastily crossing it out and writing violin above it. And Twilight… she was going to try her hoof at conducting. Hopefully she was half decent at it, because there was absolutely no chance of me saying no to one of the royal princesses.

Finally that brought me to… “Oh, Vinyl, I didn’t know you could play the bass,” I said, as I got down to her name, “I thought you mostly did techno stuff.”

“Well,” she said, laughing, “You can’t DJ without knowing how to drop the bass.”

I nodded, that was an odd term for playing a bass violin (or possibly guitar), but then, I had always thought of bassists as an odd sort, so it wasn’t too shocking.

“Then I look forward to seeing you play,” I said as she sat next to me, “Now, let’s start the auditions.”

Lyra was the first pony on stage, her lyre floating beside her as she bowed before me. “Hello,” I said, “Please state your name and what piece you will be playing today.”

“Uhmm… Tavi, it’s me, you literally just spoke with me a few hours ago. We live right next door.”

“I understand that,” I said, making a few marks on the paper in front of me, “But this is a formal audition, and that means there is a protocol that needs following, and that means you need to state your name and song.”

“Fine,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Lyra Heartstrings, and I will be playing Celestia’s Reprise.” I arched an eyebrow, the piece was known to be rather difficult, and quite a few ponies had trouble with it, but to my surprise, the pony who I had come to think of as human-obsessed lunatic was also a marvelous musician. She played each note flawlessly and infused the piece with a lingering sadness, by the time she was finished, my eyes were watering up. I stomped my hooves on the ground in applause.

“Well done,” I said, working to keep my voice as even as possible, “You will hear from me in the next day or two with my decision.” It would be a resounding yes, but I couldn’t be seen playing favorites, that would be unprofessional (Although I didn’t really have enough ponies auditioning to be able to discriminate).

Lyra bowed again and walked off stage, and as the curtains moved aside I could see a familiar cream colored pony rushing up to embrace her. “Next pony,” Vinyl said as I made a few marks on Lyra’s sheet, briefly describing her exemplary performance for Luna’s later perusal.

As I finished making my notes, Pinkie came onto the stage, carrying more instruments than should be possible, I counted at least ten, and as she walked, cymbals clashed together and drums beat. This was going to be interesting. “State your name and what song you will be playing,” I said, unsure if she could even speak.

The pink earth pony smiled happily, “Gypsy Bard and Pinkie Pie, or wait, I mean Pinkie Pie and Gypsy Bard.” Before I could ask about the unfamiliar song, she had already launched into her rendition and I was forced to question my sanity for the umpteenth time that day. I suspect nopony (not even Pinkie Pie) will ever know how she managed to play so many instruments, but somehow she managed. Her back legs worked the drums and snares, her forelegs dealt with the piano, she managed to play an accordion by contracting her chest muscles, and… how was she playing three different wind instruments simultaneously? While I don’t know (and don’t want to know) how she made it work, it seemed I was finally having a stroke of good luck as I was reasonably confident I had acquired the only one-mare orchestra in all of Equestria. Perhaps I wasn’t completely doomed after all.

“Thank you, Pinkie, that was…” Physically impossible. “A wonderful rendition of the ‘Gypsy Bard’.” I had never actually heard the song before, but it sounded like she was technically competent, and that was good enough for me. I wrote a few notes about her performance, and decided to include an addendum asking Princess Luna to investigate how this pony could so casually break the laws of physics.

Pinkie Pie bowed before me and trotted off stage, cymbals clanging as she walked. “Well, that was… unexpected,” I said to nopony in particular. “Now, next up we have… Oh dear Celestia.”

The pony that was walking on to the stage could have been my country doppelganger. We had identical mane and tail cuts, identical facial features, and… yes, we shared the same cutie mark. However, her coat was a different color than mine. She had a blue mane with a yellow coat in contrast to my black and grey, and she wore a handkerchief where I normally wore my bowtie. Still, the whole thing was rather… unnerving. “You look just like…”

“Yep, looks like I found me a big city doppelganger.”

I continued to stare, my jaw getting lower and lower. Vinyl, on the other hoof, was doing her best not to burst out laughing.

“What’s the matter, why you lookin’ so petrified?”

“Well, I was wondering if you knew what doppelganger meant, but then your use of petrified helped clear that up, and also, and I don’t know if you have noticed this, but we look almost exactly alike.”

“Yep,” she said, “Reckon we got some kin somewhere down the line, which means you is kin to the Apples, which makes me wonder why I ain’t seen you at any o’ the reunions.”

“Well, it is probably because, as far as I know, I am completely unrelated to the Apples. My family hales from Manehattan and Trottingham.”

“Manehattan? You related to them Oranges then?”

“Uhmm yes, my mother’s father is an Orange.”

“That’s it,” she said, slapping her hooves together. Them Oranges is close kin to the Apples, they try to act all hoity-toity, but don’t let it fool ya, they come from the same place we do.”

Oh joy, it seems my family tree is absolutely littered with hicks, and I am sure once Fiddlesticks reports back to her clan I will be dragged over to their next reunion. I can hardly wait.

“Well then, Miss Fiddlesticks,” I said, desperately trying to get the interview back on track, “What song will you be playing for us today?”

“I’ll be playin’ ‘The Apple Family Hoedown,’ and you can just call me cousin.”

She launched into her piece, which sounded like any other hoedown to me, but perhaps my ears were… uncultured when it came to such things. Anyways, she played adequately, which meant I was bound to run into my rustic lookalike during future rehearsals, I was looking forward to it already.

“Thank you Miss Fiddlesticks,” she furrowed her brow as I refused to call her by a more familiar title, “We will contact you in the next day or so, and I look forward to working with you in the future.”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it cuz, I am sure the two of us will be like two peas in a pod. Shoot, I reckon we’ll dun be inseparable soon enough,” she said, throwing her arms around me, while I worked very hard to not push her away.

“Did you hear that, Tavi?” Vinyl said, trying not to snicker as Fiddlesticks trotted away, you do have kin in the area. I bet the Apples will be just as thrilled as you are.”

“Oh, I highly doubt that,” I said, doing my best not to let my irritation infect my voice.

“Well anyways, you only have two more auditions to go through, and I got to say, I think the best is being saved for last.”

“I don’t know,” I said, signaling for the next musician to come out, “Pinkie Pie’s performance was rather impressive.”

“Yeah, well we’ll just see about that,” she said as Twilight Sparkle took the stage.

“So, Princess Sparkle, I see you are trying to audition for the conductor.”

She nodded, “Uh-huh, I was reading about what the conductor did in an orchestra, and since I am so good at keeping ponies organized, I figured I would be a shoe-in.”

“Well,” I said, “While I don’t doubt your enthusiasm, the conductor is usually an established musician, or has some musical ability. Do you have any musical ability?”

“Not in the traditional sense, but I have been reading tons of books about musical theory, and I figured since you are so short on actual musicians, you wouldn’t be able to spare anypony to conduct.”

Damn, she did have a point there. Our orchestra needed a conductor, and I couldn’t lose any of my actual musicians. I sighed, “Alright Twilight, I will expect to see you at our next rehearsal.”

“Wait!” She said, “Don’t you want to have me audition for the part.”

I nodded, “I do, but you can’t audition without an orchestra to conduct, so consider yourself hired for the first practice session. After that, we will see how things go.”

She nodded enthusiastically, “Thank you Tavi, I am going to go and start practicing right away. I promise I won’t disappoint you.”

Of course she wouldn’t, or at the very least, I wouldn’t say anything negative about her performance unless I wanted to risk the wrath of a royal princess. “So Vinyl, there is nopony left but you.”

“Great,” she said, “Let me go backstage and get my bass then.”

As she trotted off, I had a sudden premonition that this was bound to end in disaster. Still, I thought, the worst case scenario was that Vinyl butchers a bass guitar, and I have to listen to some truly unpleasant music. I couldn’t think of a way things could play out any worse. Silly me.

“Alright,” she said as she wheeled a giant speaker system out on stage, “Get ready for a show as DJ Pon3 drops her world famous bass cannon.”

My worst case scenario quickly began to revise itself. “Cause tonight we are partying classical style!” Oh yes, this was going to be so much worse than I expected.

I covered my ears as she hit the play button. The first thing I heard was a very loud high-pitched whine, at a quieter volume it might have sounded like somepony drawing a bow across the strings of a cello, but right now, it sounded more like the gates of Tartarus opening as the sound made my hair stand on end and the windows began to crack. Vinyl frantically pressed buttons as the notes climbed higher and the music got louder, before she gave up and threw herself to the ground and covered her ears. For a second, I wondered what prompted her to take cover like that. Then, I got my answer as, in Vinyl’s terminology, the bass dropped.

A loud boom emanated from her cannon, and as it approached, I could actually see the air distorting around it. Then, the blast hit me, and I found myself soaring through the air. I can only assume that it was at this point that my eardrums ruptured as I was no longer able to hear Vinyl’s bass cannon even though I could feel the ground vibrating beneath me. I looked up to find the walls rocking back and forth as shattered glass rained down around me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Vinyl desperately trying to turn her machine off, and after a few seconds, it seemed she succeeded as the walls stopped shaking.

She ran up to me and mouthed something, I stared at her for a few seconds, trying to understand what she had said before eventually shrugging, “I can’t hear you,” I said, “You will have to speak up.”

Vinyl sighed and started looking around for something to write with, before deciding it would be far more prudent to just carry me to the hospital, I finally brought my hooves out of my ears and noticed there was blood on them. In hindsight, I suppose I shouldn’t have been too surprised. If my eardrums were actually ruptured, then some bleeding would have been inevitable, but at that point, my brain was still in a state of shock, and my logical faculties were not doing their very best. In hindsight, I said some very silly things.

“Look,” I said, staring at my hooves, “My ears are bleeding, it’s probably… Oh Celestia, I think my brain has ruptured. I don’t want to die Vinyl, please don’t let me die.” It was not my most dignified moment, and I am ashamed to admit that I rambled on like this for some time as Vinyl carried me to the hospital. I am sure she was saying something to comfort me, but the only thing I could hear at the moment was the pounding of my heart. “Vinyl, I am floating away, I don’t want to go, especially not when the last sound I heard was your stupid awful bass cannon.”

Again, I am not proud of the things I said in my panicked and possibly concussed state, and I think I even declared my love for Vinyl at one point in my ravings. I feel I should point out that that particular claim was false.

Things got blurry after that, I remember being pushed to the hospital, being ushered in to the emergency room, being subjected to quite a few tests, and I think one of the unicorns cast a spell on me at some point. When I finally came back to myself, I was lying on a hospital bed, heart still pounding in my head, and Vinyl and Doctor Flatline were talking with each other. With my brain finally working somewhat properly, I reflected on my time in Ponyville, and reached a sort of conclusion. This town was going to throw every horrible thing imaginable at me, and I would endure it, because that is what I did. And somehow, during the string of terrible events that would almost certainly befall me, with the help of my friends, I would form an orchestra and get out of town as soon as Luna would allow me to.

While I meditated (Vinyl would say sulked), my hearing began to return to me. “So she will get her hearing back, right Doc?” Vinyl asked Doctor Flatline, although she sounded as if she was talking on the other side of Ponyville.

“With proper medical attention, she will be fine. I highly doubt there will be any substantial hearing loss.” Hearing loss. That would explain why it sounded like everyone was whispering, or more accurately, like they were talking while my head was shoved under the water.

I suddenly became aware of the fact that at some point during my… meditative trance, my ears had been bandaged. “And she was acting kind of weird afterwards too, like… acting really odd.”

Doctor Flatline nodded, “Yes, that is to be expected, she was in a pretty severe state of shock when you brought her in. It’s nothing life-threatening, just keep a close eye on her and don’t leave her alone for too long.”

“Cool, so she shouldn’t loopy like that forever? I mean, it is nice when she opens up a bit, but… that was a bit much.”

I groaned as I remembered all the things I said after the explosion. All the things I never ever intended to say. I blushed.

“Nope,” Doctor Flatline said, “I am guessing that by tomorrow she will be right as rain, although it might take a few days for her ears to heal completely.”

“You know,” I said, finally entering into the conversation, “I can actually hear you right now. You sound like I am floating at the bottom of a pool, but I can still hear you.”

“Hey Tavi,” Vinyl said, twirling around to face me, “I am so sorry about the bass cannon. Somehow, the thing got set on eleven, and I couldn’t turn it off before… well, the important thing is that you are okay.”

“It’s fine,” I said, doing my best to smile, “I always say it’s not a real audition until you have been attacked by a solid wave of noise.”

She lifted her goggles down to stare at me, “Really?”

“No.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured,” she said, “But I really am sorry about that. I stayed up all night creating a song just for your auditions, and then the bass cannon got stuck on max, and… I am so sorry, I just…”

“It’s okay,” I said, patting her on the back (How was I the one who was giving Vinyl comfort), “These things happen. It seems they happen to me with a very alarming frequency, but… I am learning to accept it, or at least deal with it.”

Vinyl nodded, “Horrible things do happen to you a lot. Did a gypsy curse you when you were a foal?”

“No, not to my knowledge… maybe.”

“Well, anyways, I am just glad that you are going to be okay. And hey, maybe tomorrow will be be—”

I cut her off, “Don’t! Don’t say tomorrow will be better. I have said that the last seven days, and if there is one thing I learned during my week in Ponyville it is that you never EVER say that tomorrow will be better. It just tempts fate, and leads to bad things happening, mostly, it leads to bad things happening to me.

“What should we say about tomorrow then? I mean, I don’t want to go out and tempt fate or whatever then,” she said as I began to settle into my hospital bed.

“Let’s just say that no matter what horrible, horrible things tomorrow will almost certainly bring, I will face it with good friends who will have my back no matter what happens. I will endure it, and maybe, with their help, I will be able to survive my time in Ponyville.”

Vinyl smiled, “That sounds good.” She rested her hoof on my shoulder, “Now get some rest, you need to be ready for whatever tomorrow will throw your way.”

Day 9 (Part 1)

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For the second time since I moved to Ponyville, I awoke to find myself lying in a hospital bed. I would say this was beginning to become a worrying trend, but it was still preferable to facing an angry deity first thing in the morning.Thankfully, I saw Vinyl sitting next to me, and I remembered the events of last night. In only a few days, I had inadvertently caused the partial or total destruction of two buildings. Normally, I would find this worrisome, but I am beginning to suspect that buildings are destroyed with alarming frequency in Ponyville, and it seems that I serve as a giant lightning rod for the madness that fills this town.

“Oh, hey,” Vinyl said upon seeing my eyes open, “You are up.” She sounded almost normal today, my ears seemed to be healing up rather well, and for the first time since the fire I didn’t wake up coughing. Hooray.

I nodded my head, “Yes, I am awake. What are you doing here? I thought you would be sleeping still.”

“Nah, I had a gig last night, so I took care of that, and then, when that was over, I thought I'd come back here to check up on you.”

She’d been here since her “gig” had finished? “How long were you waiting?” I asked, moving to sit up in my bed.

“Not too long,” she shrugged, “Maybe a couple hours.”

“A couple of hours?” I looked at the clock, “It’s 9:00 in the morning. Are you saying your… party didn’t let out until 7:00?”

She tilted her head and thought for a few seconds, “Yeah, that seems about right, maybe a bit closer to 6:30 ‘cause I had to walk over here.”

My eyes went wide, “That’s… how could you stay up that late, and how are you still on your hooves?”

She shrugged, “I dunno, I guess I just got used to it, although… yeah, once I go to sleep today I will probably be out for a long while.” As if to make her point, she struggled to stifle a yawn.

“Well then,” I said, carefully getting up on my hooves, “Let’s get you home.”

“Uhmm… I am no medical expert, Tavi, but shouldn’t we wait for the doctor to discharge you before you just up and leave?”

I sighed and sat back down on my bed, “Yes, yes we probably should.”

On cue, Doctor Flatline walked into my room, “Well, you seem to be doing better today. How are you feeling?”

“I am fine, Doctor, or at least I am as well as can be reasonably expected. Can I go home now?”

He nodded his head, “Of course, you were probably okay to go home last night, but I wanted to keep you under observation in case the shock made you do something silly.”

Right, like lead to me accidentally declaring my love for Vinyl? Not to say that I love Vinyl in a romantic way, I mean, she is a perfectly nice mare, and she is certainly attractive, but I don’t think of her in that light, and even if I did, I would never act upon such a base urge. It would be both unprofessional, and serve as a distraction from my cello practice, although I suppose my current lack of cello is a far bigger issue than any potential relationship with Vinyl and… I don’t have romantic feelings for Vinyl.

“Well then,” I said, standing back up on my hooves, “Do I need any medicine or is there anything I should know before I leave or can we just go?”

He shook his head, “I gave some information to Vinyl about how frequently your bandages need changing, but that is it. You should be back to normal in just a few days.”

“Pardon me Doctor, but after spending a few days in Ponyville, I highly doubt things around here will ever be normal.”

He chuckled slightly at that, but otherwise ignored my comment, “It’s always a pleasure to have you two around, I hope to see you again soon.” Why? Why would a doctor ever say that? Did he skip class the day they talked about bedside manner or… I stared at him in shock as my mind worked to come up with a situation where that would ever be an acceptable thing to say.

The doctor noticed it too, “Uhmm… I mean in a nonprofessional setting, I wasn’t trying to imply you would have to come to the hospital again in the next couple of days. Although, now that I think about it, you probably should come back in a week so I can do a check-up and make sure you are healing up well.”

I nodded my head, “Well then, I guess I will be heading out then, although I will be sure to schedule a follow-up appointment before I go.”

He nodded, “See that you do.”

A few minutes later, I had scheduled the follow-up and was heading out the hospital door. Vinyl was even letting me walk this time, although that might have been because she was so exhausted she wasn’t quite herself. “Vinyl, don’t take this the wrong way, but are you okay?” I asked as we headed towards home.

She jerked her head up at the mention of her name, “Huh… yeah, why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s just that you were snoring while we walked.”

She blinked a few times before rubbing one eye, “Yeah, I guess I was. Sorry, it’s just that I have been getting up so early the past few days, and then there were those all-nighters I pulled when you were in the hospital and…” More blinking, “I could definitely stand to get some sleep.”

“Then I suppose it’s a good thing we don’t have anything planned for the rest of the day,” I said as we walked through the streets of Ponyville.

Vinyl bucked up at that, “Oh man, I totally forgot that Rarity is having her grand reopening party tonight, and she wants you to be a guest of honor.”

I tapped my chin, “I will have to make an appearance then, although I am certain it would be fine if you slept through it, Rarity strikes me as a very understanding pony.” Besides, I highly doubt the building will burn down again, although now that I have said that, I am no longer certain. This town does delight in proving me wrong.

Vinyl snorted, “Well, you don’t get to be the Bearer of Generosity by being selfish.”

Right, I keep forgetting that she is one of the six bearers. Most of the time, I don’t even think they remember it, they certainly don’t mention it at all. If I was in their place, I would make it a point to bring it up every thirty seconds, but then, that might be why I am not a bearer.

“Anyways,” I said, “Go home, get some sleep, and I will wake you when I am about to leave. If you want to come, you can, and if not, you can keep sleeping.”

She nodded her head. “Yeah, okay, that sounds good. Just… let me know when we get home.” With that, my roommate was uncharacteristically silent for the rest of our walk; the only noises coming from her were the occasional snore. I pondered exactly how she could sleep while standing up before eventually chalking it up as one of Ponyville’s many mysteries that would never and should never be solved. Although, if I had to guess, I would speculate that Pinkie Pie created a reality distortion field around her that made the improbable probable. It was backed by absolutely no evidence, but I had to believe that Pinkie Pie was somehow related to this town’s… abnormalities for my own sanity.

Upon opening the door to my house, Vinyl walked over to our sofa and proceeded to collapse onto it. I sighed and moved into the kitchen to fix my usual breakfast and coffee. The coffee was, of course, excellent, but I was quickly losing my taste for store bought muffins, or muffins at all, in fact. They were far too dry and the only parts that tasted decent were the top. And of course, they are far too messy to be eaten amongst civilized ponies. By the time I was done with one, the table was littered with crumbs. I sighed, finished my coffee, and cleaned off the table. Then, while cleaning the table, I decided I might as well clean the entire kitchen while I was at it, and proceeded to spend the next hour making sure the whole thing was spotless.

Now, it occurs to me that I have not previously discussed Vinyl’s definition of neat, or more accurately, her entire lack of definition. The entire kitchen was, well filthy. A layer of grime infused everything in the kitchen, and the whole thing looked drab, green, and sickly. That wasn’t even touching upon the mold and mildew that had launched a war of conquest upon Vinyl’s walls. They might have made substantial gains during Vinyl’s rule, but they weren’t prepared to deal with me. Grabbing a mop, a bucket, a towel, and a spray bottle filled with cleaning solvent, I stood tall and gazed upon my enemy. It was time to launch the counter invasion.

The mold was deeply entrenched, but carpet spraying followed up by heavy scrubbing allowed for massive casualties and forced the invading army to retreat. With every pass of my rag, the grime was lessened, and soon enough, the kitchen looked like a place a proper pony could have breakfast in. I smiled as sweat dripped down my brow. My eye twitched. If I had been more aware of my feelings at the time I might have deduced that, having found a semi-healthy outlet for my frustrations from the past few days, I was perhaps getting a touch carried away in my cleaning zeal. Of course, none of this crossed my mind at the time; the only thing I knew was that every last bit of filth in this house had to be purged, and I would be the one to do it. From the kitchen, I moved to the downstairs bathroom, and then the upstairs bath. I spent a few minutes making sure my room was still clean (It was) and debated on whether or not I should clean Vinyl’s room without her permission (I didn’t). With all that taken care of, there was only one room left, the living room.

Moving as quietly as my hooves would allow, I snuck downstairs, working to not wake Vinyl from her slumber. The walls in here were positively filthy, and I was 80% confident that they weren’t initially colored algae green. Flashing a brilliantly cracked smile to the doomed mold colonies I went to work. Vinyl, for her part, did not wake up until the very end of my cleaning spree when I got… perhaps a touch too wrapped up in my war against dirt. I laughed in triumph as the last of the green was swept away to reveal a lovely white wall underneath. “I am Octavia! Destroyer of molds! Gaze upon me, dirt, and despair!”

“Uhmm… Tavi, what are you doing?” Vinyl said, moving to sit up on the couch, my victory yell having clearly woken her up.

“Oh… Uhmm… Vinyl, I am so sorry, you were asleep, and I had some time to kill, so I thought I would engage in some house cleaning.” Blood rushed to my face, and I mentally chastised myself for getting so worked up over a bit (or a lot) of dirt.

“So… why were you yelling then?” She said, looking me over.

I was suddenly very much aware of how unkempt I had gotten during my cleaning spree, my hair was in total disarray, my bowtie and collar were crooked, and I was absolutely drenched in sweat. It would take at least thirty minutes of primping and a very long shower for me to get anywhere close to presentable. “Well, the thing is, I might have gotten a touch carried away during my cleaning fit. I am sorry Vinyl, I shouldn’t have cleaned down here while you were sleeping. I just got so wrapped up in my one mare battle against mold, I forgot about the outside world.”

I looked down at the ground, my cheeks tinged with shame. Why did I let myself get so swept away in my cleaning crusade? It shouldn’t have been that important, but I treated it like a battle for the fate of Equestria. And now, Vinyl was going to think I was horribly inconsiderate pony who was completely unhinged. Granted, both of those claims might very well be true, but I was fond of Vinyl (Not in that way) and wanted her to think well of me.

To my surprise though, instead of yelling at me or berating me for my foalish behavior, Vinyl started to laugh. It was a little giggle at first, but it quickly turned into a series of uproarious guffaws. “What… why are you laughing, Vinyl?”

“I am sorry,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye, “It’s just that whenever I think I have you figured out, you do something crazy like this that totally proves me wrong. You’re just full of surprises.”

Great, at least she didn’t think I was crazy, or, more accurately, she thought I was crazy in a moderately endearing way as opposed to the destructive way I had previously imagined. “Well,” I said, “I am cleaning up the house, would you mind if I sorted your room out?

She tilted her head in thought for a second, “Sure, why not, it might be fun to see the floor of my bedroom for once.” Vinyl laid back down on her makeshift bed, and waved a hoof at me, she was already going back to sleep it seemed, “Knock yourself out.”

Great, I thought as I stood at the threshold to Vinyl’s room a few minutes later, I might have bitten off more than I could chew in this particular instance. If the other rooms had been messy, this room was an order of magnitude worse. There were… things growing on the wall, not just stains, but an actual living biological organism that seemed capable of responding to stimuli (It hissed when I sprayed it with my solvent). The floor wasn’t much better, clothes were discarded with wild abandon (Why and how did she have so many clothes), and one of the bedroom’s walls was composed entirely of moldy pizza boxes. And that’s just what I can describe, there were other things that I don’t think I will ever write about for the sake of my own sanity.

However, I eventually started to make progress. The clothes were moved into a massive laundry hamper (and eventually washed), the wall of pizza boxes was demolished, and the thing on the walls shriveled up and died after a judicious spraying of cleaning solvent. It’s body was disposed of after I covered myself in a makeshift biohazard suite. On the upside, it burned spectacularly, and I felt as if I had slain some great menace to Equestria. Finally, Vinyl’s room looked livable, and I admired my hoofwork. Maybe there is another reality where I took a few more seconds to bask in the glory of my accomplishment before departing. Maybe there is a world where I didn’t notice the small blue book on Vinyl’s night stand. A world where I lived the rest of my days blissfully unaware of the conspiracy that ended in me being exiled to Ponyville. Unfortunately, this story does not take place in that world.

I arched my eyebrow upon seeing that small blue book. It was very clearly the only book in Vinyl’s room, and I felt an overwhelming desire to learn what it was. Nothing was written on the cover, so I flipped it open to the title page. No words there either. Flipping through the first few pages, I quickly realized that I held Vinyl's personal journal in my hooves, and based on her loose unorganized scrawl, she clearly needed to work on her penmanship. I knew that reading through her private journal would be a massive violation of trust, and that my life would be substantially better if I just put it down and walked out of the room. I wouldn't look through my roommates most personal thoughts, and our lives would continue normal. But on the other hoof, I would get the chance to know what her thoughts were on the past few days, and perhaps that knowledge would bring us closer together (Just not in a romantic fashion, I cannot stress that enough). Flipping to the latest entry, I started to read.

Day 9 Addendum: Vinyl's Journal

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Tavi’s note: Here my journal deviates substantially from the initial draft. To provide a better reading experience, Vinyl has granted me permission to use excerpts from her journal. I have included the bits that I found relevant during my first read through, and my thoughts on each entry are included as a note like this one. Also, note that Vinyl uses substantially stronger language than I, and her journal might not be appropriate for all ears… or eye, in this case

Day 8: Oh Celestia, really screwed up this time. Thought Tavi’s auditions would be the perfect time to show off the song I made for her. Then, my stupid hoofing bass cannon got stuck on 11, and I accidentally blew up the town hall and deafened Tavi. Will have to fix that before I wheel it out again.

Also, I think I broke Tavi’s brain. She kept babbling about how she loved everypony and how the town was an evil monster that fed on her happiness. Hopefully she won’t remember the declaration of love thing, or I will get a stupid lecture about how our relationship would be ‘uncouth’ to use Tavi speak.

First of all, a relationship between Vinyl and I wouldn’t necessarily be uncouth, but it would most definitely be improper. The idea of two friends and roommates entering into a romantic liaison is bound to end poorly. However, I must remember to ask Vinyl to play her song for me at a later date, hopefully it won’t be too terrible.

Day 7: Tavi got out of hospital this morning. Seems to be doing a better today. She isn’t passing out at least, so that is good. Still wasn’t a fan of me pushing her around, but I don’t want to risk her having a relapse thing. Also, want to use her cello samples in that song I am making, it should be fun up put against a hard rock song. Maybe Living Tombstone? Will have to work on it later tonight

I have to admit, I am a little bit excited to hear this song she made. While rock isn’t my favorite genre, I do want to see how she fused it with my classical cello playing, and I am now feeling absolutely terrible for being so stubborn when Vinyl’s chief concern was my well-being after the fire.

Day 6: Today was… bad? Odd? Definitely one of those. Started with Tavi getting initiated into the anthropology club. Really need to talk with Lyra about our new initiation rituals and how it might technically be considered foalnapping. Thankfully, I don’t think Tavi will be pressing charges. Seems she is a bit cooler than I thought. Then there was a big fire at Rarity’s and apparently Tavi had to be a hero and try to save everypony. She got her lungs cooked up and I had to rush her to the hospital. Hope she is okay.

My ear started to twitch. The day that started with a kidnapping and ended with an emergency hospitalization was summed up by Vinyl in less than a paragraph? She really wasn’t doing the day’s events justice, although I suppose she focuses more on a quick impression while I strive for perfect accuracy. Both styles have their place, I suppose, but I am starting to feel like the only mare in Equestria who can spend up to a third of a day recording everything that happened to her.
That’s not crazy is it?

Day 5: Prank worked perfectly. Tavi looked absolutely terrible this morning. Totally called that she was a prude. I felt bad for scarring her and stuff, but she did try to poison me. Now we are even, and everything is all neat and stuff.

Ah yes, the evening of Pinkie’s second party and Lyra and Bon Bon’s… general celebrations. Still, considering that it didn’t lead to me being rushed to the hospital or alienating a town, it was one of the better evenings I had while in Ponyville.

Day 4: She poisoned me! Why? Was it because I don’t want to go out with her? Maybe. She tried to play it off as a joke though. Probably is to her. It would explain why she never had any friends. Should probably thank Celestia for the letter she sent me before this whole mess started. Without it, I might have done something a bit harsh.

So maybe Vinyl wasn’t too fond of me when we first met, but did eventually befriend her. We are friends right? And what was that about a letter?

Day 3: Tavi isn’t as terrible as I thought. Still super stuffy and headache inducing, but when she does decide to let her mane down she is kind of fun. She apologized to everypony for being so bitchy last night, and she seems pretty sorry. Thought I’d get her out of her element by taking her to a bar, and she was actually pretty fun. Then she went and kissed me and… Look, she isn’t a bad pony and her flank is kickin, but that doesn’t mean I am gonna get all lovey dubey around her. Still, if she was up for a bang buddies type deal; that would be pretty cool. Bet she is an absolute freak in the sack.

I did not just read that. I am not going to acknowledge that that existed, and I will certainly not be her “bang buddy,” because, just… I need to burn out my mind’s eye.

Day 2: Thank Celestia for sending that letter, cause this mare is a bitch. First, she insults me for being a DJ, then she makes Derpy cry, and then she makes Pinkie go all manic-depressivey. Not exactly doing yourself any favors there little Miss Snooty. If it wasn’t for the royal friggin’ princess of Equestria herself telling me to play nice with this mare and be patient, I probably would have strangled her to death by now. I really don’t think I can take three months of living with this girl.

My eye was twitching, as questions raced through my head. Was the only reason Vinyl put up with me because the Princess asked her to? Was my best friend only my best friend because Celestia asked her to be nice to me? Did she even think of me as a friend?

Long Ago: Guess who just got invited to play at the Royal Friggin Wedding? That’s right DJ Pon3. And apparently I am so awesome the princesses decided they didn’t need any super snobby musicians playing for them. Probably got tired of every event they had getting ruined. Anyways, totally gotta thank Pinkie for getting me in.

I slammed the book down on the ground. I could handle being insulted. I could handle finding out that every friendship I had made since I came to Ponyville (and by extension, every friendship I had ever made) was a hollow lie because Celestia pitied me, but this… This I simply could not abide. It was time to have words with my roommate.

Day 9 (Part 3)

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“Vinyl!” I yelled as I stormed down the stairs, “You will never guess what I found while cleaning your room.” My mind was filled with images of what I could do to my lying duplicitous roommate and the princess who ruined my life. Some of the more extreme ones might have constituted light treason.

“Did you find that weird blob monster living on one of the walls? I know he is pretty freaky but after a while he kind of grows on you.” I might have been more concerned about how she had befriended a giant fungus, but at the moment, I was incensed.

“No… well, yes, but I also found a certain blue book,” I said, stepping closer to her. My head was pounding, and I felt ready to tear somepony apart (Although that might be difficult considering my lack of unicorn magic or hands, I could definitely trample somepony though).

“And I am guessing you read it?” She said looking up at me.

I nodded my head, still glaring at her.

“Look Tavi, I can explain. I know I wrote about how I got a letter from Celestia requesting that I be patient with you, and I know I said some very not nice things about you, but…”

“You played at the royal wedding!” I yelled. Sure, I had just found out that my best friend hated me, the last few days of my life were a hollow lie, and Celestia apparently took great pleasure in making me miserable, but right now I was choosing to focus on the fact that Celestia and Luna had decided to let a DJ play at a royal function. It’s good to have your priorities straight.

“Wait… you are upset about the fact that I was selected to perform at the royal wedding?”

I nodded.

“And… you’re not upset by the letter or—”

“Oh no,” I said, “I am absolutely furious about that. But right now, I am choosing to focus on why in Equestria they would have a DJ play at the royal wedding as opposed to an actual musician.”

“Not an actual musician?” Before I could formulate a proper response, she was on her hooves, her muzzle inches from mine. It seemed I had struck a nerve with my normally tranquil roommate. “I’m not an actual musician?”

“No Vinyl, you are a DJ. You don’t play any actual instruments; you play recordings made by actual proper musicians. Yet they hired YOU to perform at the wedding.”

“Yeah, well maybe they hired me because the last few times they hired a ‘proper musician’ the entire celebration was ruined. My reception went off without a hitch”

Thoughts raced through my head. Very unkind thoughts that are in no way suitable for this text, most of them focusing on what Vinyl could do to herself and how she could do it. The failure of the Grand Galloping Gala was in no way my fault, and to even insinuate that it was…

“Oh, and Tavi, I may not be a musician, but at least I am an artist.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means that while I might use pre-recorded tracks, I make something original with them. You, on the other hoof, couldn’t make something new or novel to save your life. You just play the notes in front of you. Like a machine. You are no more an artist than your cello, and at least your cello didn’t put on airs.”

Her words stung. I struggled to think of something to say, some witty retort that would put me back on the offensive, but the truth was, she was right. I had always struggled to come up with original music, and instead chose to focus on mastering the classics. Rote memorization and practice came to me far more easily than actually creating, and my lack of original content was one of my sore spots. The only time I had successfully improvised was when I was drunk, and even then I was improvisation and not true creation. I wasn’t an artist. I wanted to be, but I wasn’t. My lower lip quivered. Vinyl’s face softened, she was about to apologize. A substantial part of me wanted to accept her apology and work to make amends for my harsh words (and enormous violation of trust). Unfortunately, a far larger part of me wanted to lash out and hurt somepony else for once.

“Don’t.” I took a step back and covered her mouth with my hoof, “I read your journal; I know how you feel about me. I know the only reason you tolerate me is because Celestia asked you too. Well don’t worry, you won’t have to listen to me complain about how unrefined something is anymore. In fact, you won’t have to deal with your snobby stuck up roommate again.” With that, I turned around and stormed out the door. For approximately three seconds I was positively ecstatic to have gotten the last word in. The feeling quickly evaporated as I realized I had lost one of the few ponies I had genuinely cared for. Still, if she thought I was obnoxious, then I didn’t need or want her friendship. With that… taken care of, I headed towards the library. It was time to tell the ruling princess of Equestria exactly how I felt about her manipulations, but to do that, I had to find her most faithful student.

After thirty seconds of knocking, Princess Sparkle finally opened her door. “You know, I heard you after the first knock Octavia, you didn’t have to keep knocking.”

I walked in, not bothering to wait for an invitation. “What do you know about me being sent to Ponyville?” I asked.

“Uhmm… I know you were sent here to form an orchestra for Princess Luna, and that you had auditions yesterday. How did those go, anyways?”

I quickly gestured to the bandages wrapped around my ears, “About as well as anything else since I came to this sanity forsaken town.”

“What happened?”

“Vinyl blew up the town hall with her bass cannon AND she temporarily deafened me.”

“Well, accidents do happen. At least nopony was seriously injured.” Apparently having your ear drums ruptured doesn’t count as a serious injury. What hoofing joy.

“Twilight. I need to ask you something, and I need you to answer honestly. Did you know about the letter Princess Celestia sent Vinyl?”

“The one saying you were going to be moving in with her?”

“I will take that as a yes,” I said, taking a few steps closer to her. The urge to commit a few instances of regicide was quickly becoming overpowering.

“Did you know Princess Celestia told Vinyl to be patient with me? To put up with me?”

“Not until now, no, but that does sound like something she would do.” Twilight nodded, choosing to ignore the anger in my voice.

“What do you mean by that? Does she make it a habit of ruining ponies’ lives? Of sending them away from their homes and destroying everything they ever cared about?” I stomped my hoof down at the end of that last bit. Was the princess playing some sort of game with me? Was the entire idea for a Ponyville Orchestra nothing more than a ruse created to destroy my happiness? It didn’t seem possible, but then why would the Princess interfere with my rather idyllic life.

“No. She… Princess Celestia cares about all of her subjects, and if she hears that one of them isn’t doing well, she will work to fix it.” Twilight said, “It was because of her efforts that I made my five best friends and I finally opened up to other ponies.”

“But I was fine, I was perfectly happy in Canterlot. Since I moved to this town, I have spent several nights in the hospital, lost my most valued possessions, and it turns out that the few friends I managed to acquire only tolerate me because the Princess asked them to.”

“That’s not true. I didn’t get a letter telling me to be nice to you, Pinkie Pie certainly didn’t, and I don’t think Lyra and Bon Bon did either. You still have some friends in the area.”

I nodded my head, and felt my anger begin to evaporate evaporate, “You have a point. I am certain Lyra’s overture of friendship is genuine, and Bon Bon is agreeable enough. As for Pinkie, well…”

“She is Pinkie Pie,” Twilight said, helpfully filling in for me.

“You are correct Twilight, despite Vinyl and Celestia’s duplicity, I have made quite a few friends, and once I acquire a new cello, I will be well equipped to deal with whatever madness Ponyville decides to throw at me. Thank you for your counsel.”

“I am glad to help out. Although, I would suggest that you try to talk things out with Vinyl. You two make a good match for each other.” She patted me on the back as we walked to the door of her library. “Just keep an open mind and I am sure things will work.”

I smiled as I stepped out the door and turned to face my host, “You do have a penchant for giving good advice, or at the very least, advice that sounds reasonable.”

She beamed, “Well I certainly hope so, I have learned quite a bit about friendship during my time in Ponyville, and it feels good to share my knowledge with ponies in need.”

“Well, thank you for the assistance Twilight. I… really do feel a lot better now.”

“Again, don’t mention it. Will I see you at Rarity’s tonight?”

After a moment’s thought, I nodded my head. “I think I will be able to make an appearance. Assuming she will want the pony who burned down her boutique there.”

Twilight gave out an exasperated sigh, “We already spoke about that Octavia, and you know you aren’t at fault, so why even say that?”

“Because the world makes sense if I did something wrong. Then all the terrible things that have happened to me in the last week have a reason.”

She patted me on the back and gave a small sad smile, “Just don’t forget about the good things that happened to you too. You’ve made quite a few friends and are surrounded by ponies that care about you. That’s quite an accomplishment.”

I matched her smile. “I suppose you are right, and I certainly haven’t been bored since I moved here.”

“Then I will see you at Rarity’s party,” she said, before shutting the door.

With my mood lifted somewhat, I took my time walking back to the house. While I still had the occasional coughing fit and had to take a small rest every few minutes, I felt substantially better than I did yesterday or the day before. Who knows, I thought, in a few more days I might be fully recovered. Assuming some other tragedy didn’t incapacitate or otherwise injure me and… Why do I keep tempting fate? I swear, if I am ever in the middle of one of those terrible slasher novels, I will be the pony to cheerfully exclaim that everything will be okay just before getting stabbed to death.

Still, thanks to my conversation, things didn’t seem so dire. Yes, my friendship with Vinyl might be a horrible lie orchestrated by Celestia for her own mysterious ends, but the rest of my friendships were genuine and… why did I care about friendship all of a sudden? Up until a few days ago I was perfectly happy to live my life alone and practice my craft. Now the idea of living without one of the ponies I cared about was enough to send me into a rage and briefly contemplate regicide. I found the whole change in my demeanor rather distressing, and briefly contemplated whether or not the change was positive. But then, without my new friends, could I have withstood the challenges of living in Ponyville? Probably not. Especially Vinyl, without her, I might have choked to death in the foyer of my own home. And now, I was considering discarding that friendship because she wrote some bad things about me in her journal even though my journal was filled with derisive comments aimed at my roommate. On reflection, I might have been a touch hypocritical.

Now calmed, I walked back into the house. “Vinyl? Are you there?” I said, looking for my roommate. The house was quiet. “Is anypony here?” I took a few steps inside the house. It was dark, quiet. Every other time I had been alone in our house, it had felt warm, inviting. Now, I felt like an intruder in my own home. But then, maybe it wasn’t my home anymore. I had stormed out in quite a huff, and hadn’t planned on returning. The few possessions I had were unimportant (Somehow, Miss Minor had slipped my mind), and when I left I was hoping I would never have to see Vinyl again. So of course when I came back to hear her out and apologize, she was nowhere to be found.

My stomach growled. Despite my earlier musings, this was still my home, and I highly doubted anypony would object if I fixed something to eat while I waited. Browsing the kitchen, I decided to fix a bowl of oats and wait for my remote to return.

And wait.

Finally, shortly after 5:00, I heard the front door open, “Vinyl, is that you?”

“Yep,” my roommate said as she trotted into the kitchen. “Didn’t expect to see you back so soon, what’s up?”

“I…” The words caught in my mouth. How could I apologize to her for violating her trust, reading her journal, telling her she isn’t a real musician (Although, I still believe that last claim is perfectly true), threatening to revoke our friendship, and storming out of the house without giving her a chance to explain?

Before I could finish my thought and formulate an acceptable apology, Vinyl had moved to sit next to me and was patting me on the back, “It’s alright,” she said, “We both said a lot of things I am sure we regret, so let’s just forget all about it. Okay?”

“No.”

“Wait. What?” Vinyl said.

I closed my eyes, “Vinyl, for some reason I find myself caring about you a great deal. Talking with you always manages to cheer me up, and I look forward to the times we spend together. So, before I go and forgive you, I need to know that our friendship is genuine, and that you aren’t just tolerating me because Princess Celestia asked you to.

Vinyl laughed for a few seconds before kissing me on the forehead, “Tavi, you are a monumental idiot. Of course we are friends, how could you think otherwise?”

Well, for starters, she did just kiss me, which is not something I believe friends typically do, but… “Because you wrote at length, or well… not really at length because your journal entries are incredibly short, but you did write about how unbearably stuck-up and pretentious I was, and I believe there was a section where you stated that you would whether deafen yourself with the bass cannon than listen to me complain about how ‘uncouth’ something was.”

“You’re right, I did say those things, and I still think that you’re super snobby.” My ears flattened as she said that. “But, I have also gotten to know the pony underneath all of that, and she is great. I mean, you’re smart and hardworking, sure, everypony who meets you figures that out kind of quick, mostly because you absolutely insist on rubbing it in, but then, if they stick around, they see a mare who is heroic, selfless, and actually pretty sweet.”

I arched an eyebrow at that last bit, “I highly doubt anypony who has seen me lose my temper would describe me as sweet.”

“Okay, yeah, you get upset from time to time, but you almost always feel bad about it afterwards, and then you work your flank off to make amends. Besides, you only get upset when something goes absolutely horribly for you. And that happens… actually, pretty often.”

“Please don’t remind me,” I said, groaning, “If I realize that nothing exceptionally terrible has happened to me today, then I am sure this town will endeavor to remedy that situation.”

“Anyways, like I was saying, you do get upset from time to time, but you always work to do better afterwards. You’re always trying to be the best pony possible, and that is what I love about you.”

“In a platonic fashion, right?”

“Uhh… yeah. Yeah, of course. Even if you are still super prissy.”

To my great surprise, I laughed at that. I even playfully swatted at her in response to her joke. What is wrong with me?

“So who cares if Celestia told me to be nice to you? We are friends now, and that’s what matters. Although, you do need to work on respecting other ponies’ property.”

I blushed as she reminded me of my massive trespass, “You are right, I shouldn’t have looked through your journal. And I am sorry for saying you aren’t a real musician, you are an exceptionally talented DJ.”

She nodded, “You’re damned right I am.”

“So then… is everything copasetic?” I asked.

“Huh?”

“Fine. Is everything fine? Are we fin—”

Before I could finish, the pony had wrapped her forelegs around me and I found myself struggling for breath. “We’re better than fine Tavi, we aren’t just copa-whatever, we are super copa-whatever.” It seems that in her excitement, Vinyl forgot about my breathing difficulties. Thankfully, a coughing fit quickly reminded her.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” she said, quickly breaking her embrace, “I forgot that you are still recovering and I guess I got a bit carried away.”

“It’s fine,” I said, getting back on my hooves. “Now then, if all of that unpleasantness is settled, I believe we have a party at Rarity’s to attend.”

“Well, yeah, but it doesn’t start for another thirty minutes. We will be fine.”

“Don’t tell me you intend to arrive at the stated time,” I said.

“No, I was kind of planning on showing up maybe twenty minutes late, you know, to make a big entrance and stuff.”

I let out a sigh, of course she was, “Vinyl, this is presumably a formal party, and that means we show up a few minutes early so that we can properly mingle.”

“Since when do you like mingling and talking with ponies?”

“I don’t,” I said while adjusting my bowtie, “But it is only proper etiquette.”

She rolled her eyes, “Do you want me to describe you as prissy in my journal again?”

“Not particularly,” I said, my lips forming a small smile, “But I would much rather be described as prissy than a poor or ungrateful guest. So go on and get changed.”

“What? Why do I have to get dressed up? I mean, this isn’t like some super formal thing is it?”

I sighed, of course this wouldn’t be easy, “Vinyl, this is the grand reopening for the premiere fashion salon in Ponyville,” (Overly narrow superlative, I know) “And Rarity would probably appreciate it if you wore something that she designed.”

My roommate groaned, “Alright, I have that dress she designed for the royal wedding. I didn’t actually wear it, but she insisted that I take it. Just in case.” Because my roommate, the DJ, was invited to play for the royal princesses, at the first royal wedding in a century, which didn’t end in a career ruining disaster, and I was… perfectly okay with that. Well, mostly okay.

“Alright,” I said, waving a hoof towards her room, “Go get changed, I will try to style my mane so that it looks… acceptable.” I headed up towards my bedroom.

“Whoa! You mean we had that whole thing about me getting dressed up and all you are going to do is style your mane.”

“In my defense, I will still be wearing my traditional bowtie, and my dress is currently lost in the Everfree, so unless you feel like retrieving it for me...” I trailed off, allowing her to complete the thought.

“Fine, fine, fine,” she said, “But while I am there you are totally getting a fancy dress and I will make you wear it at every party we go to.”

“Even the tawdry parties you DJ for?”

She nodded, “Especially those parties.” She grinned. Apparently she wanted me to think of this as some form of punishment. The prospect made me absolutely ecstatic.

“If you insist,” I said as I walked up to my room.

“Wait! No complaints, no protests, no anything?” She asked walking behind me.

I laughed, “Vinyl, I like dressing up. In case you haven’t noticed, I wear a bowtie and collar all the time. Forcing me to go to wear a fancy dress at a party isn’t my idea of a punishment, it’s my idea of a lovely evening. Even if the party I am attending isn’t quite as refined as I’d prefer.”

Vinyl frowned as we reached the hallway on the top floor, “In that case, you are going to one of my parties dressed up like a mare in a Las Pegasus night club.”

The image made me shutter. In my head, I was wearing far too much lipstick and makeup, my mane looked like it was held together by an excessive amount of gel, and I was wearing a dress that covered up practically nothing (And yes, I understand how odd it is that equine society considers a revealing outfit while walking around nude is the status quo).

“Come on Vinyl, that is just… a touch excessive, isn’t it? After all, I am just trying to make it so you don’t stand at a formal function.”

“And I just want to make sure that you blend in at a party that is actually fun. Besides, I will let you wear your bow if it makes you feel any better.”

“I am not bringing my bowtie to a club that smells like cheap liquor and even cheaper women. It is far too refined for such a place.”

“Fine,” she said, shrugging, “So then you will do it?”

I sighed, “I suppose I can try dressing down for once, although I was looking forward to purchasing one of Rarity’s dresses.”

“We can still do that,” she said as she headed into her room, “Besides, if you are going to drag me to another one of these boring fancy parties, you can bet your sweet flank I am gonna have you dress up.”

I clapped my hooves together excitedly, before remembering that I needed to compose myself with some dignity, “I suppose that is acceptable then.”

Vinyl laughed, “Tavi, you know you can let your mane down from time to time right? Nopony is going to think less of you for it.”

I nodded, “I know that Vinyl, but I absolutely loathe losing my composure. It signifies an underlying loss of control that I absolutely cannot accept.”

She smiled and shook her head, “Whatever you say Tavi. Now I gotta go get changed because somepony is forcing me to get dressed up. You should probably get ready as well.”

With that, she closed the door to her room, and I was left staring at it like an idiot for a half second. How did she make it seem like she was doing me a favor by getting dressed up when it was obvious I was the one who was helping her? I shook my head and walked into my room. It normally didn’t take that long for me to style my mane, but I gave the task extra attention as I was going to be representing myself (and by extension Princess Luna) at one of Ponyville’s few formal functions. Anything less than perfection simply would not suffice.

Several minutes later, my hair was neatly styled, and my bowtie was sharp and crisp. I was ready to party (within reasonable limits). I trotted back downstairs and sat on the sofa, very careful to not mess up my mane. A few minutes later, I heard Vinyl exit her room and walk downstairs.

She was… well, stunning is such a clichéd adjective, it explains a general sentiment, but lacks any actual specificity. One pony’s idea of stunning might be another pony’s idea of gaudy. Still, having said all that, she was absolutely stunning. Her dress was a mix of light and dark purple (the lighter purple being the same shade as her eyes), with the tail section of the dress being colored to match her actual tail. “And you didn’t wear that to the wedding… why?”

Vinyl shrugged, “It wasn’t my style. All I really need to party are my goggles and turntable.”

I facehoofed. “Vinyl, when somepony makes a dress for you that is that… exquisite, you really should wear it. Rarity has probably spent all this time thinking that you hated her dress because you didn’t wear it.”

“Fine, I am sorry. I will tell her how much I like the dress at the party,” she said, “Now can we please go?”

“Of course,” I said, heading to the door, “We spent so much time bickering and getting dressed, there is now a very real possibility that we will be late.”

“Maybe by like… a couple of minutes,” she said as we headed out the door, “But really, what is the big deal?”

I glared at her, we were not having this discussion again, we had already wasted quite enough time today talking about proper etiquette (That is a bit of a lie, one can never spend enough time discussing the finer points of life, but I doubt most ponies would agree with me on that statement).

Vinyl was quiet after that, and the rest of our walk to the boutique was amiable. We both spoke a bit more about life in Canterlot, and Vinyl regaled me with tales of her academy exploits. A great majority of them ended with her getting black out drunk, taking a cute mare (or stallion when the mood struck her) home, staying up all night to DJ, or, occasionally, doing all three at once. And I thought college was about learning and self-improvement.

We got to Rarity’s house and Vinyl knocked on the door, I could definitely hear ponies moving about on the other side, and a second later, Rarity had opened the door for us, “Oh do come in darlings, you are right on time.” Our gracious host ushered us in, where the party was in full swing. A polka played in the background, balloons and confetti filled the lower level, and ponies danced with no unifying style. Princess Sparkle’s dancing was particularly interesting, and I considered whether or not she was having a seizure. Vinyl shot me a look that could charitably be described as dirty.

“You said this would be a fancy party,” she whispered to me as we walked in, “This is just a typical Pinkie Party.”

“I thought it would be, the other party I was at was far more… sophisticated.” As if to punctuate my point, Pinkie Pie leapt into the air and swallowed an entire cake in one bite.

Rarity came up behind us as I spoke, “I do hope you don’t that this party is a bit more… rambunctious than the last one. Pinkie absolutely insisted on throwing the party for me, and I do so hate turning a friend down. Even if their idea of a good time and mine don’t necessarily coincide.”

I nodded. “Of course, although I do wish I had known that in advance. If I had, I wouldn’t have insisted that Vinyl dressed up.”

As soon as I mentioned that Vinyl had dressed up, Rarity moved to analyze the pony, “Why darling, is that the dress I made for the wedding?” Her eyes ran over every inch of the fabric, analyzing how it fit my roommate. “I thought you hated it. After all, you decided to go to the wedding au natural as opposed to wear the dress I slaved over.”

Vinyl blushed, and I reveled in seeing my roommate at a loss for words for once, “Well, you see, it is a really nice dresses, super lovely, but dresses aren’t my style, they seem kind of frilly and pointless. I mean, I spent most of my days walking naked anyways.”

The fashion designer’s eye twitched, but to her credit, she managed to stay collected, “Oh, I absolutely understand. Most ponies these days think that dresses just aren’t… practical, and while I can understand their point of view, I believe they add a touch of class and sophistication that is oft missing in these modern times.” She smiled, “But then, I do make my living designing dresses, so I might be just a touch biased.”

They both laughed at that, and I looked at the “new and improved” Carousel Boutique. It looked almost exactly like the old one, horrible design decisions and all. Still, the mare knew how to make a lovely dress, I was having a hard time keeping my eyes off of Vinyl’s flank (Because of the way the dress drew the eye towards the soft contours of her body, not due to any misplaced romantic interest).

“I am just glad you have a friend who forces you to appreciate the finer things in life,” Rarity said, gesturing towards me. That was my cue to smile, thank her politely, and point out that it was indeed an effort to talk her into getting dressed up.

“Well I hope you don’t mind if I took the liberty of preparing a little thank you ceremony. Once I told the girls about how you helped me, we all decided to find some way of expressing our gratitude.” That didn’t sound like it could go spectacularly wrong. I said a quick prayer to ~~Celestia~~ Luna that Rarity had seen to fireproofing this place when she was rebuilding. “And on that note, I have three little fillies who have been meaning to apologize to you for the past several days.”

She whistled, and as if on que, the three harbingers of doom, or as they are more colloquially called, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, popped out from behind… somewhere.

“Hi Octavia,” the orange one started.

“We’re really sorry,” Sweetie Belle said, continuing the thought for her friend.

“We didn’t mean ta upstage ya,” Apple Bloom continued.

“Or burn down the boutique,”

“Or make ya lose your cello,”

“Or send your life into a depressing downward spiral that ends with you becoming a shut-in who only knows the comfort of a cold bottle of bourbon.” The other two stopped and stared at their pegasus friend.

“That ain’t what we rehearsed,” Apple Bloom said.

“Anyways, we are really sorry, please forgive us?” The three of them said simultaneously.

I glared at them. They stared back, Sweetie Belle’s eyes began to wander and she made a face that… The cold logical part of my brain melted and I was filled with warm happy thoughts, “It’s alright girls, I forgive you… just” Don’t have the unicorn make that face again, “Try to stay out of trouble, please.” I tried to smile, their heads swiveled back to stare at Rarity, she gave a small nod, and they quickly bounced off to go elsewhere.

“So girls, what are we gonna do next?” Apple Bloom asked as they moved back into the party.

“I bet Pinkie Pie can teach us how to throw an awesome party,” Scootaloo said.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS PARTY PLANNERS YAY!”

Hopefully, those three fillies took my message of staying out of trouble to heart, but as they mobbed Pinkie Pie, I highly doubted it.

“Your sister can be… quite persuasive when she wants to be,” I said, turning to face Rarity.

“Yes, honestly, she can be such a drama queen sometimes, I just don’t know WHERE she gets it from.” She raised a foreleg to her forehead and did her best “woe is me face, “Anyways, I do hope you enjoy yourself, the ceremony should be any minute now.”

“You really don’t have to hold a ceremony for me,” I said, wondering where Vinyl had gotten off to, “I hardly did anything.”

“Oh you must stop being so modest, darling,” Rarity saving, waving a hoof at me, “If you weren’t there, things would have been far worse.”

I highly doubted that, but she had a look in her eyes that said there was absolutely no way in Equestria I was going to persuade her otherwise. I sighed and nodded my head, “If you need me, I will be trying to find my roommate before she gets into too much trouble.”

I found Vinyl a minute later, she was standing next to the bar, mixing a drink I could smell from several feet away. How anypony could drink that, I will never know.

“Hey Tavi,” she said, waving a hoof at me. “Sorry about wandering off, but they have an open bar, and I really didn’t feel like hearing you and Rarity talk about dresses for an hour. What’s up?”

“Not much,” I said, pouring myself a glass of wine, “Rarity has some surprise planned for later tonight, and after the last few days, I am not really in the mood for anything unexpected. If I’m lucky, it won’t end in Ponyville being completely annihilated.”

“You really think that’s going to happen?” She asked as she knocked back her drink. Amazingly, she was still standing after drinking that much purified alcohol. She poured herself another glass.

“I might be exaggerating a touch, but considering how… bizarre the last few days have been, I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Vinyl laughed, “Well hey, no matter how bad it gets, you still got me right?”

I smiled and looked at her, “I suppose I do, and that makes all the terrible things that have happened since I moved here… well, if not worth it, then certainly bearable.”

“And don’t forget all the other friends you have made since you got here, I mean, there is Lyra, Bon Bon, Pinkie Pie, of course, Rarity, and I think Twilight too. Keep this up, and you will be the most popular mare in Ponyville.”

Instead of dignifying that last statement with a comment, I just smiled at the mare. She was right though, I did have quite a collection of friends, and they were all very dear to me, even if they irked me from time to time. Without them, this town probably would have broken me by now.

A microphone’s squealing pulled me from my reverie, and I saw that Rarity had taken to her makeshift stage. She even had an audio system although I personally found that to be a touch excessive, “Excuse me, everypony, but I have an announcement to make.”

The crowd quieted itself, and Rarity resumed speaking, “As you all know, the past few days have been very trying for me and my friends. But there is one pony who bravely risked life and limb to ensure that nopony was harmed when my boutique burned down. Her heroism led to the loss of her prized cello, and so today I wish to extend my thanks to her and show my sincere appreciation.

As if on cue, Twilight walked on stage, carrying a… Oh my dear sweet Luna. She was carrying a cello. It took every ounce of self-control I possessed to not jump up on my back legs and clap my forehooves together like a school filly. The thing… I quickly decided my new cello needed a name, was simply extraordinary. As I walked closer, it looked like it was made from some very high quality wood, possibly oak, and… it was definitely sculpted from living wood, and not hewn from dead lumber like a majority of modern instruments were. She, the cello was definitely a she, was hoofcrafted and sculpted with magic, and in the right light it looked like she was made of gold. The strings themselves were… they were made of solid cloud. While pegasi were known to have instruments formed from clouds, they didn’t tend to share their techniques with the other races. My new cello could probably command a princely sum if I ever had a mind to sell it.

I took the stage and bowed, “Thank you, Rarity, this is truly a wonderful gift, that I don’t think I am worthy of.”

She smiled diplomatically, “Oh, you must stop being so humble dear. Besides, we simply will not take no for an answer, this cello was made just for you.”

“Really?” I asked, not believing that Ponyville could produce something so beautiful.

Rarity nodded, “Vinyl told us about how your cello had burned down in the fire, and we all decided to make you a new one to show our appreciation. I designed it and used your measurements to make sure it was a perfect fit for you.”

“Wait, how did you get my measurements?” I asked. This was probably not an ideal conversation to have in front of a crowd of ponies.

She just laughed, “Darling, I make dresses for a living. It was easy enough for me to eyeball it, although I would have preferred sitting you down for actual measurements, but I suppose that would ruin the surprise.” She frowned at that, “Anyways, Twilight used the living wood in her home to form the body of your cello, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy sculpted the strings and made sure a non-pegasus pony could play them. Vinyl donated a hair from her tail to form the bowstring, and Twilight put some enchantments on it to make your cello virtually indestructible.”

My mind sorted through everything she said, a borderline indestructible cello was good, especially considering how awful the past few days had been, and then there was… What was that about the bow string? While bowstrings were typically made from the hair of a horse’s tail, most ponies didn’t know who their donor was. In fact, some ponies whose tails had the proper consistency could make a living by selling their tail hair (or at least manage to augment their income). However, I found that a touch excessive, and instead opted for the cheaper solution of using one of my own tail hairs to make a new bowstring whenever the old one broke. Still, her donation was appreciated, and as I picked up the bow and cello, I felt an electric current run through my body. It was time to play.

Without speaking or prompting, I launched into the first piece of music I could think of. It was a joyous ecstatic piece, celebrating the first raising of the sun and the birth of modern Equestria. As musical pieces went, there were few that matched this one for sheer joy. My hoof gripped the bow tightly, and as I played, everything just felt… right. Rarity wasn’t joking when she said that it had been crafted to fit my body, and the use of living wood… every one of my senses delighted when I played it (Even smell and taste somehow).

There are few minutes in my life that I considered perfect, but at that instant, playing a cello made just for me, surrounded by ponies who cared, there were no other words to describe it. I finally finished playing and bowed before the ponies, my friends. They applauded and stomped their hooves on the ground. Eventually, a few of them started requesting a speech, and the chant soon spread to everypony in the room.

Public speaking is not my forte. That might seem slightly incongruous considering my chosen profession, but I really dislike talking to large crowds of ponies. Although, in the interest of fairness, I tend to dislike talking to smaller numbers of ponies as well. In general, I just dislike talking to ponies, I suppose. Still, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to make a few comments.

“I hate Ponyville,” I said. The crowd let out a very audible gasp, and I saw Rarity move to take the microphone away from me. “I hate this town. Since I moved here, my lungs have been scorched, I lost my most prized possession, and a series of terrible events that, in any other context, could be described as farcical have happened to me. However, having said that, the ponies in this town are absolutely wonderful. In my short time here, I have made more friends than I did during several years in Canterlot, and even those of you out in the audience that I don’t recognize still treat me as close companion. You are all wonderful, wonderful ponies, and it is because of you all that I am standing here today as a sane mare as opposed to being locked away in an asylum somewhere. So thank you citizens of Ponyville, you truly are the best part of this town.” I bowed again, and after a few seconds of thought, there were a few tentative claps. Pinkie Pie brought out a case for my cello, a case designed to fit her… unique sensibilities, and I packed up my new cello before going back to the party.

Vinyl and I hugged, and I thanked her profusely, “You know, you didn’t have to donate a hair to form the bowstring, I am more than capable of doing that myself.”

She smiled, “I know, but everypony else was doing something really neat to help make your cello, and I couldn’t do anything like that. So when it came time to get the bowstring, I figured that would be my contribution.”

“Well, thank you,” I said as we headed to the buffet, “It is a lovely gift.”

The rest of the evening went well. I went out and socialized with the other ponies in town, almost all of them complimented my cello playing abilities, and I did my best to act humble. Twilight forced me to make the acquaintance of her other friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. They were all lovely ponies, and I actually hit it off with Fluttershy once she opened up. We both had an interest in music, and she actually managed to train her birds to sing on cue. I didn’t even know such a thing was possible, and she invited me to come over any time so she could demonstrate. However, the best moments of the evening (besides the aforementioned cello playing) were the ones I spent talking with Vinyl, even if the mare had made it her mission to get as drunk as possible tonight. Eventually, it was time to leave, and Vinyl and I made the walk back home.

“So…” I said, as we walked, trying to think of something clever to say.

“Yeah.” Vinyl responded, nodding her head to music only she could hear.

“Tonight was… rather fun.”

She kept her head, “It was, you… you even managed to open up and be kind of fun… like, normal fun, not Octavia fun. Keep it up and we might make a proper party pony of you yet.”

I laughed at the notion, “I think that might take a case of divine intervention.”

“You mean like one of the royal princesses sending you to Ponyville and telling me to be nice to you?”

Damn. I had walked right into that one. “Well, that isn’t what I meant, but… I suppose, yes.”

She snickered before staggering into a trash bin, “Sorry, couldn’t resist. I mean, you set me up pretty perfectly, and besides, I can joke about that now, right?”

Vinyl turned to look at me, clearly waiting for a response. I sighed, “Yes, I suppose you can joke about it in private, just don’t go around telling ponies that Princess Celestia, Sovereign of Equestria and Bringer of Light asked you to be nice to me.”

“Deal,” she said, “Although, does that apply retroactively or… what, cause I already told a few ponies. You know, before today.”

My left ear twitched, “Who exactly did you tell?”

“Oh… just Lyra, Bon Bon, Twilight, the rest of the bearers, Mayor Mare, and if Applejack knows then it is a safe bet that the rest of the Apple family knows, so just…” Half the town, I thought. “Ten, maybe twenty ponies tops, although Rarity is pretty gossipy. Still, Pinkie Pie is probably keeping everypony quiet.”

She then went on to explain the concept of a Pinkie promise, and the lengths the party pony would go to to enforce it. For some reason, I wasn’t particularly surprised. “So… she will just appear on the other side of a mirror if you even consider breaking one of her promises?” I asked.

Vinyl nodded, “Pretty much, yeah. Really though, she will just pop out of anything. It’s kind of funny once you get used to it.”

Why isn’t anypony else even phased by her complete and total disregard for the rules of physics? This mare does six impossible things before breakfast, and everypony just rolls their eyes and says “that’s just Pinkie Pie.” Still, she is the main reason I have any hope of creating a semi-competent orchestra in the time prescribed to me, so… I suppose I can’t look a gift horse in the mouth (Yes, that phrase has horrible connotations, but let’s not dwell on them).

We walked back into our house, and Vinyl stumbled onto the couch, “Tonight was fun Tavi, let’s do it again some time.”

I did my best to smile while fishing around the closet for a blanket, “While I agree with the sentiment, I do hope Rarity’s boutique doesn’t have too many more grand reopenings.” Either the copious amounts of alcohol she had imbibed throughout the evening had just hit her, or I didn’t notice how drunk she was for a majority of the night. Probably the latter.

“Oh yeah, that would be… would be bad… Still, let’s go drinking tomorrow, it will be fun,” she said as I threw the blanket over her, “Have you been to Berry’s Bar yet? It is amazing, has all the best alcohol in it.”

“Yes Vinyl, I have been. You took me there last week, remember?”

She paused for a second before nodding her head, “Oh yeah, you got super drunk that night. You were like… crazy, ya know?”

I nodded. “Good night Vinyl, I will talk to you in the morning,” I said as I tucked her in. Before I could react, the mare shot up and wrapped her hooves around my neck. She drew my lips close to hers, and… we kissed. Two separate and competing thoughts race through my mind simultaneously. The first one was filled with questions like: What is she doing? How should I respond? Won’t this mess up the dynamic of our friendship? And, what in Equestria am I going to do about this tomorrow? The other line of thought was focused less on distinct words, and more of a bubbly melty feeling. As much as it shames me to say it, the second line of thought won out, and I leaned in to the kiss that was all warm and tingly. My eyes closed, and for a few seconds, everything was supercopasetic, to use Vinyl’s phrasing. Then, the kiss ended and reality reasserted itself. There was no way this could end well, I thought as I walked upstairs, yawning. But who knows, maybe I will get lucky and Vinyl won’t remember drunkenly kissing me. After all, everything else has worked out since I moved to this town.

To utilize the more common parlance, tomorrow is going to absolutely suck.

Day 10

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One day. I just want one day where I can wake up in my own bed without anything crazy happening, but of course, that is never going to happen because I live in Ponyville, where every day brings fresh new ways to torture me. However, before I get to that, I feel the need to state that last night I spent six hours meticulously updating my journal. I could have used that time to play my lovely new cello or sleep, but no, I had to detail every stupid insipid thing that happened to me in the last three days for reasons that I am not entirely sure of. For once, I found myself envying Vinyl, whose journal entries were usually little more than a paragraph. How much more time in my day would I have if I adopted her writing style? But that is enough speculation. I stayed up writing until the wee hours of the morning and then proceeded to fall asleep on my desk, and while I slept, I dreamed.

Now, I am not normally for describing my dreams as they are of an intensely personal nature and wholly irrelevant to the course of my day. At best, they are fun little diversions, and at worst they are… well, I would prefer not to talk about those. However, as I am currently being employed by the Princess of the Night, it seems that my dreams are no longer a safe haven from the insanity that infects the rest of the world. It all started as a perfectly normal, if rather sordid, dream that I would prefer not to go into detail about, when Princess Luna decided she would suddenly materialize while I was in a… rather compromising position.

“Your Highness,” I said, quickly moving to cover myself with a bedsheet, “I apologize for the state of my dreams, I don’t tend to have control over what direction they take, and… as you can see this one is particularly shameful.”

She tilted her head, “And why is that? It seems like you and Miss Scratch were having a perfectly lovely evening in your dream before I so rudely interfered.” My cheeks burned as I looked at the mare sitting on my bed. I was having a romantic dream. With Vinyl. How in Equestria could I face my roommate tomorrow? First she kissed me, and then I dreamed about me… doing romantic things with her. The whole thing was entirely inappropriate.

“Still, if you wish we can continue this meeting at a more formal location.” Before I could react, the world around me had dissolved and been replaced with the main hall of Canterlot castle.

“So, I am going to go out on a limb here and guess this isn’t a social visit,” I said as I oriented myself to my new surroundings.

She smiled. It wasn’t quite as stoic and serene as her sister’s, but it had an enthusiasm and authenticity that Celestia’s lacked. When Luna smiled at you, she meant it. “Sadly, no, although I would be more than happy to hear about how your time in Ponyville has been, if you’d care to indulge me.”

I did. I told her every last detail about my time in Ponyville, the fire, the hospitalizations, the terrible auditions, and the fact that I hadn’t had a proper breakfast in days. Luna let me rant unimpeded, and when I was done, she blinked.

“That… that answers most of the questions I wanted to talk about actually, but how are you doing? I had no idea your time in Ponyville would be so trying.” She wrapped a wing around me to provide comfort, and while I would normally refuse such an inappropriate gesture (one should not display such affection towards a subordinate), her embrace was far too comfortable for me to raise a proper complaint.

“You mean Celestia didn’t tell you about her plot?” I asked as I rested my head against the Princess’s side.

“Not at all, once I told her about my desire to reform the Orchestra of the Night, she went to work arranging everything. The only things I knew were that she had found a talented young musician to lead the orchestra and that it was to be based in Ponyville. I had no idea she selected you to take control of the task until you walked into Mister Pianissimo’s office, and I was quite convinced that this was some scheme of hers to get us back together.”

I interrupted her, “I wouldn’t say we were together, your highness, we spent one wonderful night together watching the stars and talking about the disaster that was the Gala. I don’t think that constitutes an actual romance.” Did I just correct one of Equestria’s ruling princesses? If she wanted our night of conversation to count as a romance, then who was I to correct her? Besides, if that did count as a relationship, then it brought the number of romances I had all the way up to one.

Thankfully, instead of getting upset about my correction, she just chuckled, “I suppose you are right, but to my sister, any missed romantic connection is a problem that needs to be fixed. I should tell you about how she decided to get Princess Cadence and Shining Armor together some time.”

“So… she just goes around finding ponies who she thinks are unhappy and then trying to fix them?” I asked, not at all surprised, considering the events of the previous day. Although I still don’t know why she would think I was unhappy in Canterlot, it gave her actions some context and made me slightly less inclined to commit regicide. Slightly.

Luna nodded, “She wants all her little ponies to be happy and have plenty of friends. I personally don’t see why she can’t just let them live their lives, but she has led Equestria into a golden age, so there might be some merit to her methodology.”

We were silent for a moment, and then with another wave of her hoof, the princess brought us to the Royal Canterlot Gardens. They looked exactly like they had on the night of the Gala. If I looked towards the castle I could still see smoke rising from the ballroom. “What did you wish to talk about?” I asked, settling into the grass. She had recreated the night we spoke together perfectly. “I highly doubt you just walked into my dream to reminisce.”

She smiled, “There is nothing wrong with a bit of reminiscing; we haven’t really spoken about the night of the Gala.”

I shrugged, “What is there to speak about? We met during the aftermath of the Gala, had a wonderful night, and I left the next morning so that you could resume your proper life.”

“Yes, I was rather curious about why you left, you didn’t strike me as the type of mare to love and leave.”

“I am not,” I said, wishing I had something to drink before a glass of wine suddenly materialized in my hooves. Right, dream logic. “But, you are one of Equestria’s ruling diarchs, and I am a common musician. Any prolonged relationship would have been improper, even though I did value the time we spent together. It made the sting of the Gala’s failure slightly more bearable.”

Luna let out a sigh before calling a glass of wine to her own hooves. “You know Octavia, after the Grand Galloping Gala, I checked up on you. I found out where you lived, looked through your dreams,” my cheeks started burning when she said that, “I even considered issuing a royal decree making you my consort. Thankfully, I realized such things had fallen out of favor in the past thousand years, and such an act probably wouldn’t help me win the favor of the common ponies.”

I took a very large pull of my wine, “That… I didn’t know I had made such an impression on you. I am nothing special.”

She smiled, “You were the first pony since my return who treated me normally, you were respectful, yes, but you didn’t fear me. By the end of the night, I felt better than I had in a millennium. So yes, you did make a rather strong impression.”

“I enjoyed our night together as well, and while I was strongly tempted to make more of it, I could not willfully engage in an activity that would damage both of our reputations. Propriety dictates that the nobility and common ponies not intermingle, after all.”

The princess rested her forehoof against her forehead, “I am one of the rulers of Equestria, if I do it and my sister approves, the nobility will follow suit. They will do almost anything to curry favor with my sister.”

Oh… that did make a particular amount of sense. Who would argue with one of Equestria’s gods? I opened my mouth to speak, “So, then… do you… I mean, work relationships and—”

She mercifully interrupted my stammering by shaking her head, “Not in the slightest. While I do appreciate the time we had and wouldn’t trade it for the world, neither of us were really looking for a romance that night, we were just two lonely souls desperately looking for companionship, besides, if your dreams are anything to go by, you are far too timid for my tastes.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked, standing up on my hooves.

“Octavia, you are a very sweet pony, but your idea of an erotic evening consists of staying up late discussing the merits of different classical composers. When I intruded upon your dream tonight, you were sitting in bed with Vinyl discussing which baroque composer had the most versatility.”

“Well… those are perfectly normal dreams for a mare to have, I mean… it’s not too dirty right?”

Luna laughed, “Octavia, your dreams are some of the most chaste and virginal dreams I have ever seen, but you act like desiring companionship and intimacy with another pony is somehow wrong. Your urges are normal, and it is perfectly fine to act upon them. I am certain Miss Scratch would be interested in… discussing classical music with you.”

“Actually, considering her she specializes in electronic and techno music, I don’t think she would get too much pleasure out of such a… That was innuendo wasn’t it?”

She nodded.

“While it might be enjoyable,” I conceded, “such a relationship between two roommates would be horribly improper. If something were to happen between us—”

I was cut off as Luna raised a hoof up to shush me, “Octavia, you will always come up with a reason why a relationship would be improper. You have to throw propriety to the wind when it comes to these things and do what you want.”

“I understand that Princess, but is entering into a relationship while working to form your orchestra really the best--”

She took a deep breath and stood to her full height, towering over me, “Octavia Melody, as one of the Sovereign Diarchs of Equestria, the Ruler of the Night, and the Bringer of the Moon, I command you to ask Miss Vinyl Scratch out on a date, and you shalt endeavor to make it as enjoyable as possible! Failure to do so within a timely manner will be seen as high treason against the crown!”

When Princess Luna finished speaking, I found that I had covered my ears and curled up into a tiny ball. It wasn’t just that she was loud, the world darkened when she raised her voice, and thunder roared in the distance. Her eyes went white, and lightning flashed. There also might have been some screaming involved on my end. To be fair, Luna is absolutely terrifying when she is angry.

“Oh… okay,” I said, my body still shaking with fear, “But what if s—she declines?”

Luna let out a sigh, “If she says no, or you two don’t actually get along that well, then that is fine, but you are not allowed to sit back and list reasons why a relationship would be improper, you have to go out there and make a mistake or two.”

“Fine,” I said, getting back on my hooves, “Is there something you actually wanted to talk about, or did you just want to give me relationship advice and terrify me.”

“There was,” Luna said, “I thought you could use some assistance, and so Sir Royal Riff has graciously agreed to aid you in your task.”

Royal Riff, the personal musician for the princesses, and one of the few successful earth pony musicians, was coming to Ponyville. To help me. I clapped my hooves together excitedly before realizing that I was still meeting with one of the princesses. “I… uhmm… I thank you for the aid Princess Luna, I am sure he will prove to be a valuable asset.”

She smiled, “I am glad to hear you approve. I expect great things from the two of you.”

I was trying my best to contain myself, Royal Riff was coming to Ponyville to help me. Sure he was helping me with an impossible task, but this was Royal Riff, if there was any way to form a half-decent orchestra in Ponyville he would find it. “When will he be here?” I asked.

“Mr. Riff will be arriving on the three o’clock train. I would suggest you meet him at the station.”

I nodded, I felt like I was dreaming, which… technically I was.

“Now, if that is all,” the princess said, “I think it is time for you to wake up.”

Before I could respond, the dreamscape had dissolved, and I found myself slumped over my desk. I winced as I got back to my feet, almost every muscle in my body ached, thanks to my poor sleeping position. A wonderful start to an already full day.

I worked to plan out my day as I ran a comb through my hair. First, I had to talk to Vinyl and, I shuddered, ask her out on a date, then I wanted to go to Fluttershy’s cottage to see her birds before running back to the train station and meeting Royal Riff. Then, if all went well, or not well, depending upon your definition of the word, I had a date with Vinyl. My hoof was getting cramped just thinking about how much writing I had to do today. But before all of that happened, I thought I would spend a bit of time playing on my new cello, who I had eventually decided to name her Miss Philharmonica, or when I felt like being a bit more casual with her, Philharmonica.

She was as wonderful as she was last night, and two hours later, I realized I had gotten so involved with her that I completely forgot about the outside world. While I would normally enjoy spending time practicing on my new cello (everything about her is just lovely), I did have quite a bit planned for today, and couldn’t afford to spend so much time practicing. I rushed out of the room.

Vinyl was still asleep even though it was now pushing 11:00 in the morning. It probably wasn’t that unusual for her, but since I had moved to Ponyville my roommate had gotten up around the same time I had. Of course, since I had moved to Ponyville, things had not been allowed to reach any form of normalcy. My schedule had been erratic, punctuated with several incidents that either led to my staying up later than my wont or forcing Vinyl to stay up all night so she could keep an eye on me while I was in the hospital.

Still, her refusal to be up before noon forced me to rearrange my plans. I would speak with Fluttershy first, then meet Royal Riff, and then, hopefully, Vinyl would be awake. Nodding my head as I finalized my new plan, I started the trek to Fluttershy’s cabin.

To my great surprise, I managed to find her cabin without getting horrifically lost. I had actually seen the cabin before during my disastrous quest to find the mayor’s office. As I trotted closer to the cabin, my worries began to melt away, this was a safe place, a place where the sick and wounded could come to for solace. Why had it taken me so long to find my way here? I knocked on the door. “Come in,” a masculine voice said as the door popped open.

The voice was distinctly masculine, but the speaker sounded like he was struggling not to spoil a joke. “Yes, come in Octavia, it is about time we met.” The voice suddenly flipped from comical to sinister, and if I had any sense at all, I would have turned around, raced back home, barricaded the doors, and spend the rest of the week hiding in my room. As the last ten days of my life can attest, I am a mare who is utterly bereft of common sense.

I walked in to Fluttershy’s cottage and saw a creature from fantasy staring at me. That wasn’t entirely true, the events of the last two years had proven beyond any doubt that the draconequus Discord was more than just an old mare’s tale, still, I had never expected to see him, or more alarmingly, have him know my name.

To call him a draconequus is not particularly descriptive, as he is the only known draconequus in existence, and the term chimaera is a far more fitting descriptor as he is a mismatch of different animal parts. A goat’s head here, a lion’s paw there, throw in a bat and pegasus wing where you will, maybe a griffin’s talon, and stick it all on the body of a snake and you have a fairly accurate descriptor of the creature sitting in front of me.

“How… how do you know my name?” I asked, trying to back out of the room.

He let out a laugh and flicked the door shut with his tail, “Well it’s only fair isn’t it? After all, you know mine.”

“Everypony in Equestria knows your name, only a few ponies in Canterlot and Ponyville have any idea who I am.”

“Would you believe me if I said I was a fan of the fine arts?” He asked as he snapped his fingers, willing an entire orchestra into existence. The orchestra was composed entirely of copies of him.

“For some reason, I never saw elemental gods of chaos as being big fans of the classical arts,” I said.

He chuckled again and the orchestra vanished, “True, true, you classically trained musicians are far too stuffy for my tastes. Now that roommate of yours, I could listen to her make music all day long.”

“Answer my question, how do you know about me and Vinyl?” I didn’t particularly feel like listening to a mad god discuss his musical preferences.

“Oh fine, after you ruined my fun during Nightmare Night, I just had to go back and meet you before the festivities started.”

My brow furrowed, “Wait, are you saying you are from the future?”

He nodded, “Five days from now, if you can call that the future. Believe me, when you get to be as old as I am, five days feels like a second.”

“But, time travel is impossible,” I said, trying to understand what I did or was going to do that would cause the draconequus to take such interest in me.

“It’s only impossible if you don’t know you are going to time travel, if you do then it is the easiest thing in the world.”

“What?”

Another burst of laughter, “Don’t worry Tavi, you’ll figure it out soon enough. Right now, I just wanted to… thank you for making the last few days so enjoyable. I love having a straight mare like you around to react to all of my little japes.”

“Are you talking about something I am going to do during Nightmare Night?” I asked, taking a step towards him.”

“And go and spoil the surprise? What kind of prankster would go and ruin their own jokes? No, I am talking about all the little pranks I have already pulled on you.”

My ear twitched. “It’s so easy to get you wound up, I whisper to Apple Bloom and she decides to get her cutie mark in classical music, a whisper to Pinkie Pie and she decides to go on a walk to town square on your first day here, add a bit of glue to Vinyl’s bass cannon so it gets stuck on 11. And let me tell you, that reference just cracks me up, although I doubt YOU’D get it.” He paused to wink at… someone after he said that.

He kept talking after that point, but I couldn’t hear him over the incessant throbbing in my head. Before I could properly think my actions through, I was charging my tormentor at full speed. I was going to punch out a chaos god even if it killed me (Which, on reflection, it probably should have).

As I ran closer, I leapt into the air, my foreleg extended, ready to punch him right in his ugly misshapen goat face. He looked at me, smiled, snapped his fingers, and then vanished. I sailed right past where his head had been and crashed through the Fluttershy’s wall. Lying there, surrounded by bits of drywall and debris, I considered that, perhaps, my decision to assault an old god had been a touch rash. Still, I thought as I got back on my hooves, at least no one was around too—

Before I could even finish the thought, the door to Fluttershy’s cottage swung open and the demure yellow pegasus walked in. She let out a barely audible squeak when she saw me covered in plaster and standing on what used to be her wall.

“It’s alright, Miss Fluttershy, it is Octavia, we spoke last night about your birds. I thought I would come over and see them, if that’s alright with you,” I said rather lamely.

“Oh yes, I remember who you are,” she said, although I had to struggle to make out what she was saying, “I was more concerned about why you knocked a hole in my wall.”

“That… It was an accident. Discord was in your cottage, I tried to attack him, he disappeared, and I flew through a wall, sorry,” I said as I dusted the debris off of my coat.”

A look of concern filled Fluttershy’s face, “Discord wasn’t being too nasty was he? He is still having trouble fitting in, and his pranks can be a little bit… mean at times. I am sure he means well though.”

I blinked and stared at her in a strange mix of shock and utter bewilderment, “Wait, are you… are you friends with the elemental god of chaos?”

She nodded at me as if being friendly with the ponyfication of chaos, madness, and entropy was the most normal thing in the world, “Yes, once you get to know him, he is a real sweetie. He just has a bit of trouble interacting with other ponies. You really do have to be patient with him at first, but he means well.”

“But, and I cannot stress this enough, he is the elemental god of chaos. How can anypony be friends with him?”

“It’s thinking like that that led to him becoming all nasty in the first place,” Fluttershy had suddenly gotten very stern, and started to stare me down, I felt my willpower began to crack, “Now I know he has done some bad things in the past, but he is trying to do better, and ponies should give him a second chance. Everypony deserves a second chance.”

Right, like they gave me a second chance. She didn’t have to finish the thought, “There’s a difference between making somepony cry though and plunging Equestria into eternal chaos.”

“You both needed somepony to show you a little kindness. You of all ponies should understand that.” I felt myself shriveling under her gaze.

“You’re right, I am sorry Fluttershy.” I felt myself nodding my head in agreement. At that moment, I probably would have done anything she said if it would get her to stop staring at me.

“It’s alright,” she said, fluttering over to my side and patting me on my back, “Just don’t be so quick to judge ponies in the future.”

“Alright,” I said, feeling substantially better now that she was no longer staring at me.

“Now then,” she said, completing her shift from force of nature to mothering figure, “Do you want to go listen to my singing birds?”

I just nodded my head. The most terrifying being I had encountered today wasn’t a chaos god or royal princess, but a demure yellow pegasus with one incredible stare.

She smiled, “Then let me show you around.”

An hour later, she had finished giving me a tour of the cottage grounds and showing off her singing birds. True to her word, they were very well trained, and managed to sing an entire song while staying on key. If I wasn’t still reeling from the stare’s aftereffects, I might have been able to pay attention to just what they were singing and leave better notes. As it was, I felt lucky to still be capable of walking and thinking. I wasn’t even concerned by the fact that an elemental god of chaos was on the loose, had admitted to toying with my life, and had planned something big for Nightmare Night (Which was only five days away). As long as Fluttershy was happy with me and not subjecting me to her stare, I was fine. “Thank you for showing me around your cottage, Fluttershy,” I said.

“It’s no problem, are you sure I can’t interest you in a pet? I am sure we could find something that is just perfect for you.”

I shook my head, “I am fine, thank you again for offering, but I really do need to get home.” It was almost 2:00 now, and I had to get going if I wanted to meet Royal Riff at the train station, which I very much hoped to do.

“Alright,” she said as I started my walk back into town, “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”

Don’t look back, I told myself as I walked away, if I looked back and saw her just… standing there looking at me, I would very likely crack. She would either be giving me the stare or looking at me like I had kicked her dog. Either option would send me running back to her to pick out a pet that I neither needed nor wanted. To my credit, I walked all the way to the Ponyville train station without turning around. It was 2:55 when I finally reached the train station, and after a few minutes of waiting, the train pulled into the station on time.

The train was mostly empty, and Royal Riff had a rather distinctive appearance with a midnight blue coat and a white mane. His violin case was strapped to his back, and he conducted himself with a grace and poise that few ponies possess. He quickly approached me and bowed his head, “I can only assume by the aura of refinement that surrounds you that you are Miss Octavia Melody.”

I desperately tried to repress a smile and failed. Miserably. There might have even been a girlish giggle that escaped my lips.

“Charmed,” he said, kissing me on the forehoof. Now, I don’t know if I have made this clear in my writings, but I am the type of girl who prefers the company of other mares as opposed to stallions, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a gentlecolt when I meet one, especially when said gentlecolt served as my primary role-model and inspiration when I was growing up. There aren’t many earth pony musicians who achieve any popularity, but Royal Riff was able to overcome all the odds and become Celestia’s private musician. I even had a signed poster of him in my apartment back in Canterlot. Although, I have no idea where it is now. Probably in the Everfree Forest.

I quickly managed to stifle my giggling and regain my decorum. “I apologize for that, Mister Riff, when I was growing up you were something of an inspiration for me, and now having the chance to meet and work with you…”

He smiled at me, “Weren’t you at the benefit concert I put on after the return of Nightmare Moon?”

“Yes, I was in the third row sitting next to the aisle. I didn’t think you would remember that.”

“You came up after the show asking if I could sign a poster you had of me. I didn’t even think they made posters of me.”

I blushed, “It was very difficult to find.” Or make, I might have commissioned an artist to draw the poster up for me, but I saw no reason why he needed to know that. Honestly, my fangirling was a bit embarrassing in hindsight.

“Well, I am glad I will have such a dedicated pony serving as my assistant.”

What?

“What?”

“I am sorry, I thought that was a compliment. I need to commend Princess Luna for choosing such a charming and intelligent young assistant.”

“There… I think there was a misunderstanding, Princess Luna put me in charge of reforming the Royal Ponyville Orchestra. She sent you here to assist me.” There must have been some miscommunication, after all, someone was illustrious as him would—

“Yes, she sent you here, things weren’t progressing to her liking, so she sent me. Obviously, I will be taking control and you will be assisting me. Was that not clear?” He said.

“Well, she didn’t mention anything about you taking control; she said you were coming to assist me.”

“Exactly,” he said, as we headed away from the train station, “I have spent twenty years serving the Princess, and before that I spent quite a bit of time dealing with orchestra life. You, on the other hoof, have only been in an orchestra for a few years, and none of that time was spent in any administrative capacity. Now I can focus on all the boring tedium of forming an orchestra while you can focus on playing your cello. I am sure it is positively delightful. If I need any assistance, I will let you know.”

“Don’t you want to see my audition notes?” I asked as we walked through the streets of Ponyville.

He nodded, “It will be good to know what talent I have to deal with, although I am assuming I will have to use some of my contacts to form a proper orchestra.”

Okay, that was it. Yes, he was my role-model when I was growing up, and yes he was far more experienced than I was, but this was my fantastically doomed project, and I wasn’t about to let anypony take it away from me, especially when it was my friends who composed a majority of the orchestra. “While I appreciate and understand that you have substantially more experience than me, this task was given to me by the Princess, and until she orders me to give control over to you, I will be making the decisions about the orchestra.”

Royal Riff let out a snort, “Hmph, while your dedication to the orchestra is admirable, I feel that my decades of experience make me a far more competent leader than some mare who is barely old enough to buy a drink.”

I struggled to keep my calm, this was my project and I wasn’t about to let him take it over, “I appreciate the fact that you have substantially more experience than I do, and I will utilize it to the fullest, but the success or failure of this project rests on my shoulders and I will not let anypony else take it from me.”

We stared each other down, compared to Fluttershy’s stare, his was nothing to write home about. After a few seconds he cracked and lowered his head. “Fine, you can take the lead for now, but when it becomes clear to me that I am better equipped to deal with this situation, I will be informing the Princess.”

Well, it wasn’t much of a compromise, but it kept things moving, and at this point, that was really all I could hope for. “Then, if that is taken care of, let’s go back to my place and we can review the notes.”

Another sigh from him, “Very well, let’s go see what backwoods hicks think they are capable of being in an orchestra.”

He was completely intolerable. Yes, I thought that quite a few ponies in this town were hicks, but I never said anything about it, and… Okay, yes, I was a bit of a culture snob, and in many ways I still am, but I certainly don’t walk around Ponyville calling the citizens here hicks. They are good ponies even if their tastes are a bit less refined than mine. “If you give it a chance, this town might surprise you,” I said as we walked, “It’s not as sophisticated as Canterlot, but the ponies here are some of the finest I met.”

“I suppose it might behoove me to get into the Element Bearer’s good graces,” he said, “And I am sure that most of the townsfolk will be so in awe of seeing a proper musician that they will do almost anything I ask.” He smiled to himself at that, “Yes, I can see how I might be able to have my fun here.”

That… I don’t think I am entirely comfortable with his train of thought, if he was implying what I think he was implying. We walked for a few more paces before either of us spoke again.

“Now then, I assume you will need my assistance recruiting enough ponies to form an actual orchestra,” he said, “Unless everypony in this town is secretly a highly talented musician.” His sneer made it clear that he highly doubted that was likely.

May Celestia forgive me for what I said next, “Actually, this town does have a few hidden talents. Have you met Pinkie Pie yet?”

He shook his head, “Well, if you are going to be spending any amount of time in Ponyville you have to say hello to Pinkie, she functions as the town’s unofficial greeter.”

We were only a few seconds away from her bakery, and before I could knock, the door flew open. Pinkie’s head thrust out of the door and she stared at Riff excitedly, “Ooh! A new friend? For me? You shouldn’t have Tavi.” She started speaking to my new co-worker, “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, what’s your name.”

Before he could formulate a proper response, Pinkie ushered him inside the bakery, where party preparations were no doubt already underway. In fact, I wouldn’t be too terribly surprised if she already had some sort of party cannon prepared for all of her emergency party needs. As I walked back to the house, I heard what sounded like a polka coming from the basement of the bakery.”

“Oh hey,” Vinyl said as I walked back into the house, “What were you up to today?” She was still nursing her morning (afternoon) cup of coffee.

“Not much,” I said as I sat down next to her, “Had a conference with Princess Luna before I even managed to get out of bed this morning, I had a little chat with the god of chaos, took a tour of Fluttershy’s cottage, and, oh yes, I met the newest member of the Royal Ponyville Orchestra, who manages to make me look downright friendly.

Vinyl blinked, “Woah… really?”

I nodded, “I didn’t think that was possible, but apparently there is a pony out there who is more anti-social than I am. At least I have the decency to acknowledge the fact that I am antisocial.”

“Wasn’t talking about that,” she said, “I was more focusing on the ‘elemental god of chaos’ part.”

Right, that would be the most interesting part of my day for most ponies. I had almost completely forgotten about it, “Yes. Apparently, I have done or will do something to him, so he decided to go back in time, I don’t know how, and pull a few pranks on me. Truthfully, meeting with Discord was probably the least interesting thing that happened to me today. I should probably be worried about that.”

“So… Sounds like you had a pretty full day.”

I nodded my head. “Oh, and Princess Luna is making me ask you out on a date.”

Vinyl spit her coffee out of her mouth. I didn’t know ponies actually did that in real life, I had always assumed it was just an easy dramatic convention for showing shock. Who knew? A few seconds later she was able to form actual coherent words, “Why is she doing that? I mean, just…”

“Because, she knows I harbor romantic feelings towards you, and that I would never act upon them in a million years without being given proper incentive, so she decided to give me said incentive. I know, I probably should be a bit more… I don’t know, romantic when I am asking you out, but I don’t really know how to do that, and after the day I have been having, I just don’t have the energy to be shy or nervous. So… do you want to go out sometime Vinyl?” That’s it, I decided, after ten days in Ponyville, I had finally gone completely mad. All the insanity that filled this town had finally broken me, and now I was asking Vinyl out in what had to be the least romantic way ever. It didn’t even have the saving grace of being awkward, instead it sounded like I was reading aloud from a business proposal.

Vinyl stared at me in thought, and for some reason I felt compelled to keep speaking, “Because I do actually have romantic feelings towards you, you are smart… well, no, not that smart, but you are certainly funny… well, no, not that funny either, or at the very least, I don’t get your jokes, but...” Ah, good, I still had some of my traditional charm left.

“You are kind, I am sure of that, and not just kind, but patient and supporting, and you always make me smile when we talk. And even when I am making a total mule of myself, like I am now, you still stick around. So, in the words of the great philosopher Coltaire, Vinyl Scratch, I fancy you.” I had definitely gone insane, it was the only explanation.

My roommate tapped her chin for a few seconds, before eventually responding, “Yeah, sure, what do you have in mind Tavi.”

Apparently, Vinyl had lost her mind as well. “Pardon me Vinyl, but I wasn’t really expecting a positive response after such a long winded and confused declaration of affection and…” I kept ordering myself to shut-up, but my mouth refused to listen. Thankfully, my roommate quickly cut me off.

“I know Tavi, I like you too, and for some reason, I even like that super stiff way of speaking you have when you get stressed out. It's kind of cute.”

“Oh… okay then,” I said, quickly regaining my composure. “So, what do ponies usually do on a date? Should I dress up? I always pictured my first date as being a night at the opera, but something tells me Ponyville has a shortage of opera houses.”

She laughed at that, “True, and I think we should do something that we'd both enjoy. That seems like a pretty good date idea.”

Of course, I thought, chastising myself, “Then what would you suggest?”

“Well, we both like music, right?”

I nodded my head.

“So then, why don’t we go up to my work room? You bring your cello, I will bring my bass, and we will have a little jam session.”

“Wait,” I said, “You play the bass?” I had just assumed the only “instrument” she played was the turntable, she certainly never advertised herself as having additional musical talents.

It was her turn to nod, “Yeah, the academy pretty much forced me to learn a ‘proper’ musical instrument, so I went with a guitar ‘cause I could plug it into an amp and make it super awesome and loud.”

That explained it.

“I think I’ve gotten a bit rusty, though,” she continued, “So I might switch to some sampling on my mixing table after a while.”

“That sounds fine,” I said, “Although I do assume there will be some talking as well, it is my understanding that conversation is a vital aspect of any date.”

“Of course,” she said, “I mean, I have had a few that weren’t that heavy on conversation, but I am guessing you wouldn’t be much of a fan of those.” I didn’t need to know that last bit.

“Right then,” I said, gesturing towards her upstairs room, “Let’s get started. Just give me a minute to grab my cello.”

“Sure thing,” she said, “I need to figure out where I put my guitar at anyways."

I found myself humming as I walked up to my room, not because I was particularly excited for the date, but because… Okay, yes, I was excited for the date. I know it’s not particularly proper, but it was the first official date I had ever been on, and Vinyl and I would be making music together, so… that came out a bit more risqué than intended. We were just going to play with each other and… We were going to play on our preferred musical instruments and possibly compose a song or two. That was it. Still, I was a touch excited about the whole thing.

A few minutes later, I was sitting in Vinyl’s DJ room, waiting for my roommate to find her guitar. The more I thought about it, the more this seemed like a spectacularly bad idea. Vinyl and I were fine as friends, and if this relationship did end on a rough note, as our constant fighting indicated it might, then our very friendship might be crushed. On the other hoof, I very much doubted that I could just undo the declaration of affection, and as the saying went, you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. Why must I be so impulsive?

Thankfully, Vinyl found her guitar a few minutes later and we started our rehearsal, or as she dubbed it, our “jam session.” It started off terribly. Neither of us could find a proper musical style that complimented the other’s taste in music, and Vinyl spent a large amount of time making sure her guitar was tuned. Apparently, the last time she had touched it was before she moved back to Ponyville.

“This isn’t working,” I said with a sigh, “You keep trying to play some neighties power ballad and that really doesn’t mix well with the music I know.”

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, levitating the guitar down to the ground. “I don’t really play the guitar too much, mind if I get on the turntable?”

I shrugged, “Sure, have any particular songs in mind?”

She smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I think I got a mix that you will like.”

The song she started playing was… well, I hate saying it was magical, but it seems the best descriptor. It perfectly captured the frenetic compulsion to play and create that I felt the other night when I broke in my new cello. As soon as I heard it, I drew my bow across the cello and began to play along. Vinyl manipulated the record to respond to my playing, and my playing adapted to Vinyl’s music. Our notes built off of each other, and we ran through every genre of music I could imagine. Apparently when played appropriately, the cello can serve as a lovely compliment to modern rock, and no, I can’t actually describe how that happened, I just know that Vinyl and I somehow managed to make it work.

The hours blurred together as we played, and time ceased to have any meaning. The both of us became drenched in sweat as we continued our impromptu concert. We took turns leading, sometimes I would follow Vinyl as she used her mixing board to, as she put it, “drop the bass,” and other times, I would spontaneously riff on a classical melody and Vinyl would help me bring it into the modern era. There was no talking, just two ponies weaving melodies together. Finally, we were both so exhausted we fell back against the wall.

“So…” I said, gasping for breaths, “That was…”

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, nodding her head in agreement.

“Think we should…”

“Probably.”

We both lay next to each other, staring at the ceiling as we caught our breath. A few minutes later, I broke the silence, “There actually wasn’t that much talking on our date.”

Vinyl laughed, “Date’s not over yet, we can still talk about whatever…”

“Alright then,” I said, rolling over to face her, “Why did you agree to go out with me, I hardly seem like your type.”

“Actually,” she said, grinning, “Most of my long term relationships HAVE been with kind of smart, classy mares like you or Lyra, although I guess Lyra is more crazy than classy.”

I arched an eyebrow at that, “Really? When you were describing all your romantic trysts from your college days, it didn’t sound like those mares were particularly classy.”

“Well yeah, but those weren’t long term relationships, those were just… fun. Like this one weekend down in Marexico when—”

I cut her off, “I really don’t care to hear about your past conquests Vinyl. I know communication is supposed to be a cornerstone of a relationship, but I think there have to be limits.”

More laughter, “What makes you think we are in a relationship, we’ve only had one date?”

Blood rushed to my face, had I already ruined things by assuming too much? “Nothing, sorry, I guess I just, well… assumed. After all, our first date had been going so well and…” I let out an exasperated sigh, “It seems I have shoved my hoof in my mouth again. Hooray.”

“It’s fine Tavi, it’s not like this is the first time we spent any time together, we have been living with each other for more than a week, and I think we both knew what to expect when going into this relationship.”

“And, what did you expect?” I asked, curious as to what her plans were.

“Well, I know you’re a bit of a prude, so I was thinking our first date would end in some standard, traditional sex, and then from there we would explore the idea of an orgy and heavy BDSM. You know, the usual.”

My cheeks were absolutely burning, and I stammered for something to say. Thankfully, Vinyl quickly dropped the ruse and burst out laughing. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Obviously, we won’t touch the sex stuff until you are ready, I am more than happy just spending time with you, making music with you, and talking. Besides, I a twenty-five, it’s about time I thought of something a little bit more serious, and you seem like the type of mare I can show off to my parents.”

“Wait, you are twenty-five?” I asked, “You’re always so—” Happy, carefree, childish, “Energetic, I just assumed you were about twenty.”

“Tavi, if I was twenty I would still be enrolled in the academy. Nah, I am just young at heart I guess,” she stopped to rest her head on her forelegs, “How old are you?”

“I just turned twenty this year.”

“No way,” Vinyl said, “You're just so… accomplished and stuff, I figured you would at least be old enough to have graduated from the academy. I mean, when I was your age, my biggest accomplishment was completing Canterlot’s Golden Mile.”

“That sounds interesting,” I said, “Is it some sort of charity run or…”

Vinyl shook her head, “It’s a bar crawl. A really fun one, you get to go to all the best bars in Canterlot, and by the end of the night, you are just completely hammered.”

I stared at her, “Really?”

“Hey,” she said, “We can’t all be some super driven pony like you are. For me, having a good time with my friends is a good enough goal.”

“Well, what is your greatest accomplishment now?” I asked.

She deliberated in thought for a few seconds, “It’s a toss-up.”

“Between?”

“Between completing the Canterlot Golden Mile and getting you to lighten up a little bit.” As she said the last bit, her horn lit up and she used her magic to tickle me, and my forehoof reflexively shot out in self defense, managing to connect with her left cheek. Have I mentioned that I am not used to being tickled?

A few minutes later, we were both sitting down in the kitchen and Vinyl had covered one side of her face with an ice pack, I was in the middle of my thirty-seventh apology. “It’s fine,” she said, interrupting me, “Lesson learned, don’t tickle you while I am within striking distance.”

“So, the date isn’t horribly ruined?” I asked.

“Nah, it’s fine. I’ve had far worse first dates. Like this one time, a mare tried to get me to join a cult. That was a weird couple of months.”

“Wait, did you actually join the cult?”

She blushed, “Well, the thing was, she was really, really good in bed. Like, she did stuff with a ceiling fan that would blow your mind.”

“What was our rule about discussing past relationships?” I asked.

“Don’t talk about them.”

I nodded, “Because now I am going to be spending the next few weeks thinking about what in Equestria she could have done with a ceiling fan that was so good.”

“I could just—” she began before I cut her off.

“Vinyl, I neither need nor want to know the particulars of what she did. Let’s just leave it to the imagination.” My horrible, overactive imagination.

“Sure,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.

We were both quiet for a while before I remembered something else she mentioned, “You mentioned something about showing me off to your parents, do they know that you are…”

“That I prefer mares to stallions? Yeah, they are pretty cool like that. They say as long as I am happy, they are happy.”

“They sound like lovely ponies,” I said.

“Yeah, they are pretty cool, right? I mean, they’d have to be to raise me.”

We both laughed at that, before Vinyl spoke back up, “But what about you, tell me about the parents of the great Octavia Melody?”

I frowned at that, “It’s something of a sore subject. They decided that since I was committed to being a musician as opposed to taking a proper job, then I could go live my life without their assistance.”

“Woah, you mean the kicked you out?”

I nodded.

“Just because you wanted to be a musician?”

More nodding.

“Well, how old were you?”

I paused to think for a second, “Twelve, I think, though it might have been when I was thirteen. I do remember that it was about four years after I got my cutie mark.”

Vinyl’s face had turned into a frown, “And why didn’t they kick you out immediately after you got your cutie mark?”

“Well, they weren’t completely heartless, first they wanted to convince me to pick a more sensible and proper music-related career path, but even then, I just knew I wanted to play my cello. Eventually, when it was clear that I wouldn’t listen to reason and was determined to go ahead with what they saw as a foolish career path, they kicked me out in the hopes of persuading me. They said all I had to do to be allowed back in was to give them the cello Grandmother Philharmonica bought for me. Obviously, I didn’t do that, so my banishment still stands.”

“That’s… that’s terrible.”

“I suppose it could seem like that to an outsider,” I said, “but they only wanted what they deemed best for me. Still, I wish they would at least show up to one of my concerts that I keep inviting them to.”

“You mean they never showed up to any of your gigs?” Vinyl asked.

I shook my head, “Well, they were invited to the Grand Galloping Gala, but they didn’t say a word to me.” I frowned, “I wanted to show them that a musician could actually be respectable that night, but then Pinkie came and… well, she did what she does.”

“Wow,” Vinyl said, “No wonder you were so pissed when you saw her. I mean, she pretty much ruined one of your few chances of making up with your parents, although I still think they were being jerks kicking you out in the first place.”

I shrugged, “Perhaps, but I would still like to reconcile with them. They are my parents after all,” I smiled slightly, “But I am sure you don’t want to hear me complain about my parents on our first date.”

“It’s alright, this is kind of what people do on dates, talk about their lives and share stories. Now I know a bit more about why you're the way you are… no offense.”

“None taken, and I suppose it does explain a bit about my… more peculiar behaviors. Truthfully though, I never really thought about it.”

“Well, whatever,” Vinyl said, “Even if your parents were total jerks, they made you you, so that is pretty cool in my book.”

I had to laugh at that, “You have a point there Vinyl, I can always count on you to make the best of a bad situation.” We locked eyes, and something inside my head clicked. This was a mare who didn’t just tolerate me, but was actually fond of me. She was there to cheer me up during my foul moods and celebrate in my minor and mostly inconsequential victories against the town. Just by virtue of spending time with her, my day had substantially improved. I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed her.

To my great surprise, she kissed back.

And of course, that moment had to be interrupted by somepony knocking on the door.

“Who could that be?” Vinyl asked. I had a sneaking suspicion, but I wasn’t about to share it. The knocking came again.

“I think we should answer it,” Vinyl said, pulling away from me.

Standing up, I nodded my head, “That would probably be for the best,” I said as I headed to the door. If I was very lucky, the pony at the door wouldn’t be—

“Ahh, Sir Royal Riff, I had a suspicion that was you,” I said as I opened the door. Of course it was him, I was finally enjoying myself and, as Vinyl liked to describe it, “letting my mane down,” and then he had to show up. Still, I had to stifle my urge to laugh as I saw the bits of confetti still lodged in his mane.

He glared at me, “I hope you enjoyed your time with Pinkie Pie,” I said, doing my best to smile.

“Who in Equestria could possibly enjoy time spent with that madmare? She is completely unhinged.” While I did mostly agree with him, the mare was still my friend and she usually meant well, even if her methodology was… rather unique.

“Oh, she’s not so bad,” I said, waving a hoof in the air, “She just wants to make everypony smile.”

“I had to put up with her for four hours. Four hours of her singing and throwing confetti in the air, and being a general nuisance just because she thought I looked like a quote ‘grumpy-grumperson.’ Hopefully, I won’t have to deal with her again.

“Actually,” I said, “She is in the orchestra. Pretty important part of it too.”

His right eye twitched. Was that what I looked like when I was absolutely seething on the inside? “What instrument does she play?”

“Oh, not much,” I said, working to keep a straight face, “Just the drums, accordion, trombone, cymbals, harmonica, and a few others I am probably forgetting.” Was I being perhaps a touch cruel to my role model? Yes. But, he insulted my friends, and I could not abide that.

“But which one will she be playing in the orchestra?” He asked, his voice straining as he struggled to process the day’s events.

“Oh, she plays all of them simultaneously. I wouldn’t have an orchestra without her.”

“That…” He was quickly regaining his composure, “That’s impossible, but then, I shouldn’t be surprised, this whole town is impossible. It is filled with a bunch of inbred hicks who have no idea what actual sophistication looks like. The only pony who might have the foggiest clue is the fashion designer, and based on her architectural design choice, I suspect her clothes are those of the poseur and not the true artist. Besides, nopony with any actual talent would choose to live here longer than absolutely necessary.”

“Actually,” I said as Vinyl walked up behind me, “Both Vinyl and Lyra are very talented musicians, and they love it here.”

“Oh yes, the lunatic and the DJ. Truly, they are role-models for us all.”

Vinyl was about to say something, but I cut her off, “That is enough, they might not be as classy and sophisticated as you or I, but they are my friends, and you will not come into my house and insult them.” I took a step forward, pushing him past the door’s threshold. “I know this town is terrible, I agree with you on that, but the ponies here are absolutely wonderful, and are probably the only reason I am still holding on to my sanity. You will not insult them.”

He tilted his head, “I am sorry, which part of the town do you detest then? Is it the architecture? I quite like the rustic aesthetic. Is it the weather? During my time here the temperature was fair and the sun was shining. No, I think it has to be this town’s citizens that are driving you up the wall, even though you obviously can’t admit it to yourself. The ponies here ARE crazy, and without them, your time here would have been far less stressful. Sure a few of them might keep you from snapping, but that is only so the others can savor stripping away every last bit of sanity you possess.”

As he spoke, I felt myself crumpling up. Maybe he had a point. As much as I wanted to deny it, most of my problems did arise from my interaction with other ponies. Without them, my time in this town would have been far simpler. “But don’t worry,” he continued, “ I will form a proper orchestra for this town, and you can go and do whatever you want, in fact, you can go back home tomorrow for all I care. Princess Luna deserves the best orchestra possible, and it is clear to me that you cannot deliver upon that. I will be writing a letter that explains the situation tonight, and as soon as she responds, I will be taking over.”

With that, he slammed the door shut and stormed out, I continued to sit and stare at the door. It felt like his speech had completely hollowed me out, he was going to take over the orchestra and then I was going to have to go back to Canterlot and leave all of my friends behind.

I soon felt a pair of forelegs wrap around me, “Hey, it’s alright Tavi. I am sure that Princess Luna won’t grant his request and there won’t be a thing he can do about it.

“It’s not that,” I said, doing my best to keep myself from crying. “I could probably convince Luna not to grant his request, but he was right, he can create a far better orchestra than I could, and the princess deserves the very best.” I tried to smile, “Maybe if I apologize and ask nicely enough, he will still let me be first chair.”

“Well… you aren’t going back to Canterlot are you?” Vinyl asked, “I mean, you couldn’t if you wanted to be the first chair, right?”

“Yes,” I said, slowly getting up to my hooves, “But… maybe I should go back to Canterlot, there… I had a life there. It wasn’t a great life, but it was mine and I would be free from this town’s… insanity. Maybe I should just pack up and head back home. I don’t think I want to be in Royal Riff’s orchestra anyways.”

“Come on Tavi,” Vinyl said, putting on her best smile, “You aren’t just giving up like that are you? I have seen you go through some truly crazy things and just keep on keeping on. I mean, you met Discord earlier today, and that barely phased you. Now you are just going to call it quits because some guy was a jerk to you?”

“It’s not that,” I said, taking a few steps towards the stairs. My entire body felt like it was made of lead, and the color seemed to have drained out of the world, “This was my last chance to get my career back on track, to be something my family could be proud of. I suppose my parents were right after all. I am sure I will find something to do though.”

Vinyl stared at me as I walked up the stairs, “No they weren’t, you are brilliant Tavi, and if you can’t see that, then I will show you.” She ran out after that, probably to act on some harebrained scheme to try to cheer me up. I had to smile a bit at that, even when things were terrible, Vinyl still couldn’t admit I had lost. If things had gone better in Ponyville, I would have probably grown to love her. As things stood now, it was just another might have been in a life filled with could-haves and should-haves. I stumbled into bed, the journal entry could wait until tomorrow, and I didn’t particularly feel like playing the cello at the moment. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and wait for this whole thing to end.

Day 11

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The next morning, I did something I hadn’t intentionally done since I was a filly. I slept in. Now, that’s not to say that I always awoke at dawn, with the chaos of the last few days, I had started to wake up later than my wont. But today was the first time in years that I had made a deliberate and conscious choice to ignore the outside world, pull my blankets over my head, and sleep in the little cocoon I had made.

However, sometime after noon, I was finally forced to crawl out of bed due to the unbearable rumbling in my stomach. Taking a brief look in the mirror, I saw that my hair was uncharacteristically disheveled and that I had fallen asleep with my bowtie on. Part of me wanted to take the time to do some basic primping and grooming so I would look presentable when I went downstairs, but what did it matter? It’s not like anypony but Vinyl would see me, and more importantly, I didn’t particularly care at the moment. Why bother making myself look presentable? The orchestra was out of my hands, and the whole thing seemed vaguely pointless. Why bother trying when it’s obvious the day will end in a massive failure anyways? One final oddity about my appearance, my coat seemed to be grayer than usual. Probably nothing important, certainly nothing I thought about at the time.

Making my way out of the bedroom, I headed downstairs, but stopped as soon as I reached the stairwell. My house was positively packed with ponies. At a glance, I recognized Vinyl, Lyra, Bon Bon, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Fiddlesticks, and Rarity. “Vinyl, what are all these ponies doing in our house?” I asked as I walked downstairs.

“Well, after you got all sad and stuff last night, I figured I would go around and talk to your friends about what had happened, see if they could lend a hoof. They all agreed pretty much instantly.”

“That’s right,” Pinkie Pie said, jumping up and down excitedly, “I am not about to let one of my friends lose their job to some mean old nasty-wasty.”

“And you can be sure that I sent a letter informing both princesses about Royal Riff's behavior,” Twilight Sparkle said, “Also, I wouldn’t miss my chance to wave my little stick thingy around.”

“Ya don’t think I’m gonna’ let some big city slicker come in here and take my cousin’s job, do ya?” Fiddlesticks said, smiling up at me.

“We anthropologists have got to stick together,” Lyra said, “And more importantly, friends need to stick together.”

“I know I can’t actually play a musical instrument,” Bon Bon said, “But I am more than capable of providing snacks and raising funds through bake sales.”

“Ooh! Ooh! Me too!” Pinkie said, cheerfully hopping next to Bon Bon, “Can I play music and make cupcakes?”

I nodded.

“And I will not have it be said that Rarity abandoned a friend in her time of need, especially when said friend risked her own well-being to aid me.”

I looked at the ponies, my friends, who filled my living room. Their expressions were wildly different, but each one hid a note of resolve under their general cheerfulness. We might not win our battle with Royal Riff, but we would try our absolute bests.

I tried to form a small, gracious smile, but instead wound up with my forelegs wrapped around Vinyl in what had to be the tightest bear hug known to ponydom. “Thank you Vinyl,” I said as my grip tightened, before coming to my senses remembering other ponies were watching as well, “And thank you all for your support.” I released Vinyl from my death grip after that. She seemed to be mostly okay.

“You all are truly wonderful mares,” I said, feeling a tear well up in my eye, “And I thank you all for coming to help me make this orchestra the best it can possibly be. I hope to one day be capable of making it up to you.”

“Shucks,” Fiddlesticks said, “We didn’t come out here for a reward, they did it cause they’re your friends, and I did it cause we’re kin. That’s what friendship an' family is about, putting yourself out there to help those you care about ‘cause you care about ‘em and it’s the right thing to do, not ‘cause ya think they will make it up to you sometime.” The other mares nodded at that.

“Well then, thank you again,” I said, bowing before them all, “And I know that by working together and doing our very best, we will make the best Royal Ponyville Orchestra possible.” Yes, it was a lie, we were probably all doomed, but at the very least, we could try. “Now, let’s get our instruments and meet back here in half an hour. We have a lot of practice to do.” And I had to comb my hair.

“Thank you again, Vinyl,” I said after everypony else had left, “It… you really did help me out today.”

She smiled her one hundred megawatt smile, “Don’t worry about it Tavi, I would have done it even if we weren’t dating. It’s just what friends do.”

I returned the smile and gave her a light kiss on the cheek, “I know, that is one of the reasons we are dating. You never give up even when it is far far smarter to just quit.”

She blushed, “Hey, what can I say? As long as there is even the slimmest chance I have to keep trying.”

“Well, it’s a wonderful philosophy, and I thank you for giving me some hope,” I gave her a slight bow and Vinyl burst out into a fit of laughter.

“That… I am sorry, Tavi,” Vinyl said our laughter subsided, it’s just… that little way you bow when delivering any sort of compliment kind of cracks me up.”

I frowned, “What is wrong with it? It is just my way of showing respect.”

“Nothing,” she said, “But we are dating, you don’t have to be so formal around me.”

“You’re right, but at this point it is more of a habit than anything else. Still, I will try to be less… formal around you in the future.” Before I could even think about it, I gave her another bow. That time, we both laughed.

“Well,” I said, after the laughing fit had subsided, “I should probably go and make myself presentable. Now that my mood has lifted, I am starting to feel a little bit unkempt.”

Vinyl waved a hoof towards the stairway, “Go on then, I am going to go get my turntable out, unless you would like me to play the guitar, I guess.”

Oh right. I had neglected to inform Vinyl that an orchestra is absolutely no place for either a turntable or a guitar. Hopefully I could handle the situation with my usual grace and decorum.

“Actually,” I said before my roommate could get too far away from me, “We haven’t really had the chance to talk about your audition, have we?”

She shook her head, “No, and I am sorry about accidentally deafening you. Don’t know how the bass cannon got charged to 11.”

I did, but I highly doubted she would believe me if I said that Discord did it, “It doesn’t matter,” I said, waving a hoof dismissively, “The thing I wanted to talk with you about is what instrument you would be playing in the orchestra.”

Her head tilted, “What do you mean, Tavi?”

“While I understand that you are a wonderful DJ, a bass cannon has absolutely zero place in a proper orchestra. Neither does an electric guitar.”

“So… what are you saying?” Vinyl asked, tilting her head.

“I am asking if you can play any other instruments, our orchestra is distinctly lacking in woodwinds and percussion. Can you play any instruments like a flute, tuba, saxophone, or drums? Really, just anything that isn’t a bass cannon or an electric guitar.”

Vinyl thought for a moment before nodding her head, “Yeah, I think I can do something like that.” A small frown creased her lips.

“Now, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, I love yo… I love your DJ work, it’s just that it doesn’t really have a place in an orchestra. If I could work it in, then I would.”

“But why can’t you? I mean, you are in charge of the whole orchestra thingy?”

“Because there is no precedent for it, there has never been a recorded instance of a turntable or bass cannon working in an orchestra, and more importantly, there is a logistical problem. Most musical instruments actively create sounds while your turntable is limited to replaying noises.” I shook my head, “I have given it a great deal of thought, and it just wouldn’t work. I hope you aren’t too terribly upset with me.”

She tilted her head in thought for a few seconds, “I guess, I can understand that, I mean, orchestras are kind of stuffy, I doubt they could handle my beats anyways.”

“So, you will play another instrument?” I asked, smiling at her.

“Sure, I have a few drums I picked up after a spectacular bender, would those work?”

I nodded. The only percussion instruments the orchestra currently had was the drum Pinkie used as a part of her peculiar polka ensemble. A bass drum would… Before I finished the thought, I realized that if Vinyl had a drum, it would inevitably be a bass drum, and I was beginning to suspect that Vinyl could play any instrument that had the word bass stuck in front of it.

“Alright then,” Vinyl smiled and walked off into her closet of… stuff, it seemed to store everything she didn’t need, and based on how full it was, my roommate had a lot of items she didn’t particularly need. A few minutes later, she emerged with the largest bass drum I had ever seen floating behind her. How did she even get it to fit in the closet, much less get it out? The thing was bigger than the two of us put together which… formed a strangely pleasant mental image, that I won’t choose to dwell on at this moment.

“Well, while you go and get that… monstrosity set up, I will groom myself.”

Vinyl nodded. “Sure thing Tavi, if you need me I will be down here. Got to dust off all the cobwebs before everypony else returns.”

I nodded, not knowing if she was referring to literal or metaphorical cobwebs before deciding it was best to just let her be. I still had to properly groom my mane and replace my bowtie and collar with one that was slightly… fresher.

Approximately ten minutes later, I had finished refreshing myself and was now ready to lead the Royal Ponyville Orchestra to greatness or possibly into a wallowing mire of failure. Either one or the other.

Vinyl, to her credit, had managed to set up her massive drum in the middle of the living room while still leaving room for everypony else. How she did it, I have no idea. She smiled at me from her little corner of the living room, her hooves resting on the drum. I returned the smile as I walked downstairs, “I am amazed you managed to set that thing up down here.”

She shrugged, “It wasn’t that hard, just had to do some levitation magic, to get everything right. The hardest part was getting the thing out of my closet.” I had no comment.

“Well,” I said, moving to sit next to her, “The others should be returning soon, so I suppose we should take care of any final preparations.” I felt like I should say something, but I wasn’t sure what. Sustaining a successful romance was completely uncharted territory for me.

“I got nothing planned,” Vinyl said, “Want to do stuff?” She scooted closer to me, and I indulged the urge to lean against her. Hopefully nopony would walk in during such a display of affection. Knowing my luck, they absolutely would, but it was a risk I was willing to live with.

“What did you have in mind?” I asked, unsure of what she had planned.

“Hmm, well, I would love some romantic fun times, but I am guessing you wouldn’t really be a huge fan of that. Figuring we will take thing slow.”

I muttered under my breath, “Hooray.”

“So… I don’t know, never actually been in a slow-paced relationship, most of them had us jumping to the fun stuff pretty quickly… But, you know, not doing the fun stuff is still… fun.”

Wonderful save there Vinyl. Still, she was putting in commendable effort when it came to respecting my wishes. To reward her efforts, I gave her another kiss, and allowed myself to revel in the feeling of our lips touching. As they pressed together, a tingling sensation swept over my body and I felt the urge to draw her closer, to tighten my embrace, ignore the outside world, and enjoy my time with my marefriend. Of course, such a thing would be grossly inappropriate at this stage in a relationship, and so instead of indulging, I pulled away and smiled. “Thank you for being so understanding,” I said. To my great surprise, nopony had barged in. Maybe my luck was beginning to turn around. After all, it’s not I know I am fated to catch the attention of Equestria’s chaos god in four days, by doing… something,

Vinyl, for her part, seemed to be at a loss for words. “That… yeah, that’s a good start.” She immediately returned the kiss, and this time my willpower failed me. I melted under her warm embrace, and savored the taste of her moist lips pressed against mine and… Oh my, I am getting a bit carried away in the descriptors aren’t I? Thankfully, we were interrupted before my baser impulses got the better of me, as Lyra and Bon Bon barged back into the house.

“Oh, hey,” Lyra said, setting her lyre against the wall, “You two are finally dating. Or at least it looks like you are two are doing something.”

I quickly broke my embrace with Vinyl and pulled away. They were… what? Why weren’t they surprised?

“About time,” Bon Bon said, “I thought the two of you were never going to get together. Of course, you couldn’t have gotten together three days ago so that I won our little bet.”

“Wait, what?” I said, turning to face the two mares, “Yeah, Lyra and I had a little wager on when the two of you would get together, I thought you two would get together by Friday, but apparently you had to put it off until today. Unless… did you guys hook up before Friday?”

“Absolutely not!” I said, “Vinyl and I only started dating last night, and there has been absolutely no ‘hooking up.’ I am not the type of mare who would just sleep with somepony on a first date.”

Everypony else in the room blushed. Based on their reactions, I was in the minority when it came to such things, at least with my current group of friends. They were good ponies, just far too amorous for my preference.

“Actually,” Vinyl said, “There was that kiss last Monday when you got REALLY drunk, I mean, I don’t know if it would count as a hook up, but it was definitely something.”

“Yes!” Bon Bon pumped her hoof in the air, “I win Lyra, pay up.”

“No you didn’t,” Lyra scoffed, “Our bet was on when they would get together, one drunken kiss doesn’t count unless… Did you guys do more than kiss?”

“No!” Vinyl and I shouted in unison.

“You know I wouldn’t take advantage of a drunk mare, I mean, if I did then spring break…”

“I know, I know,” Lyra said, “It’s just, we thought you would make a really cute couple, and figured since it was just a matter of time until the two of you got together, we might as well have a little fun with it.”

“Yeah,” Bon Bon said, joining in the defense, “We didn’t mean to upset anypony. If you want, we can give the bet money to you.”

“Wait, what?” Lyra said, “Why would we do that?”

“Because,” Bon Bon said as patiently as possible, “Vinyl and Tavi are our friends, and Octavia is obviously a bit… discreet when it comes to her romantic relationships, and we don’t want to embarrass her.”

Right, because admitting to having a betting pool on how long it would take for me to sleep with my roommate was only embarrassing for crazy prudish ponies such as myself. Although, it was clear the wager was one that arose from affection and not any desire to mock, and the more I thought about it, the more my anger melted away. I smiled at them, “It’s quite alright, although I would appreciate it if, in the future, you refrained from making bets about my love life without asking me first.”

“Yeah! We can totally do that,” Lyra said enthusiastically, “So, can we set up a betting pool on when you two will finally bang? I am pretty sure it will be before Nightmare Night, but Bon Bon thinks you are the type to get totally turned on by a mare in costume.”

“Actually,” I said, quickly changing my mind, “If you must bet, then do so, just… don’t go around talking about what you think I am like in bed. Especially around me.”

Lyra and Bon Bon nodded, “Yeah, we can do that,” Lyra said, smiling cheerfully, “Thanks for being so chill, Tavi.”

“It’s fine,” I said, doing my best to keep my composure, “I understand that you and Bon Bon have certain… hobbies and proclivities that, while I don’t quite understand, I am more than willing to tolerate. I have to ask though, how much did the two of you bet?”

“Well,” Lyra said, “We didn’t bed money as much as we bet on who would do what in the be—”

My friend was mercifully cut off as Bon Bon elbowed her. “Lyra,” she said, “She doesn’t want to hear about that.” Bon Bon turned to me, “The bet was of a personal nature, dear.”

Thank you Bon Bon, you interrupted her before I was able to glean just what sort of deranged sexual acts the two of you were wagering on. All I was able to discover was that it involved you and Lyra doing things I would rather not know about.

Rarity walked in before anypony else could speak up, “I am back dears, did I miss anything important?”

“Not much,” Lyra said, “Tavi and Vinyl finally got together.”

“Oh, it’s about time,” Rarity said, “They make such a lovely couple, and the romantic tension was beginning to get played out.”

“Wait, you thought we would get together as well?” I asked, furrowing my brow.

“Of course,” Rarity said, “Everypony thought you would make a lovely couple and it was just a matter of time until the two of you finished your coy flirtations and started dating. Really, I am surprised it took this long. Twilight will be just thrilled to hear the news.”

I felt my eye start to twitch. “So was the whole town just rooting for Vinyl and I to get together?”

Rarity shook her head, "Of course not, it was really just the ponies who had met you and their acquaintances which... Okay, yes it was the whole town, we even came up with a cute little portmanteau for the two of you. I was more of a fan of OctyScratch, but TaviScratch was the one that won out."

Fiddlesticks trotted into the room, “Hey there cuz, heard you and the roomie finally started dating.”

What? How did she even? Everypony who knew was in the room. That wasn’t even…

“What?” I asked.

“Heard it on the way here, whole town is buzzin’ with the news.”

The urge to crawl into a whole and hide was beginning to overpower me, but thankfully there were no convenient holes nearby. “Did anypony in town NOT think Vinyl and I were going to get together?” I asked, straining to keep my voice even.

Silence.

“Vinyl? Are you as surprised as I am?”

“Actually,” Vinyl said, “I kind of knew you were into me, I just didn’t want to say anything cause I knew you were sort of sensitive about those things and so I just figured I would give you some time.

“So… everypony knows? Was I that obvious?” They nodded.

“Ah think even the princesses know,” Fiddlesticks said, “Was it supposed to be a secret? I mean, I thought the two of you were dating as soon as I saw you sittin’ in that auditorium. Vinyl was all protective an’ the two of you just looked so cute…”

She was cut off as a high-pitched shrieking escaped my lips.

“Uhmm… should we do something?” Lyra asked, “Or is this kind of normal for her.”

Vinyl shrugged, “Kind of… I mean, the screaming is a new touch, but yeah… the freak outs are pretty much a daily occurrence.”

I would try to better describe my thoughts at the moment, but most of them were rather incomprehensible even to the pony thinking them. All I was really conscious of was the screaming. It filled me, enveloped me, and in my mind’s eye, it would fill the world. My screaming would resonate with everypony in Equestria and soon everypony would join me. Then, I slowly became aware of a pair of forelegs wrapped around me, and a reassuring voice informing me that everything was okay. Eventually, I realized it was Vinyl who was working to calm me down, and we had transitioned to the kitchen.

“There, there Tavi, everything’s fine, the folks of Ponyville are pretty liberal when it comes to discussing romantic things, and they didn’t know you were so conservative.”

I slowly ceased my screaming and worked on regathering my wits, “They are still your friends," Vinyl said, "They didn’t mean to freak you out, everything is fine.”

“Really?” I asked, finally regaining some mastery of my own mind, “Even after my little psychotic display downstairs.”

Vinyl nodded, “Of course, they are your friends, you can’t scare them away with one little freak out, even if it was rather spectacular.”

“Thanks,” I said as I got back on my hooves, “I am not sure why I got so upset, but I thank you for helping me calm back down. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

“To be fair,” she said, “Without me, you wouldn’t be in a relationship and the whole thing probably never would have happened, so it is at least like… 10% my fault.”

I smiled and had to stifle the urge to laugh. “I suppose you have a point there, but I would much rather have you and freak out than not have you and be perfectly sane.”

Vinyl gave me a quick peck on the cheek, “Don’t worry Tavi, I don’t think you would ever be perfectly sane, even if we hadn’t met. You kind of go off at the drop of the hat.”

“True,” I said, blushing, “Then I would much rather be insane and have you for support than be insane and not have you. Bad things happen then.”

“Really?” Vinyl asked, “Want to tell me about it?”

“I probably will later,” I said, but for now, all you need to know is that it involves a very stressed out me using my cello as an improvised weapon.”

“Wow,” Vinyl said, “That’s kind of crazy.”

I let out a sigh, “I know, I really do feel awful about it, if I had been thinking clearly I would have never endangered my cello.”

“What about the pony you attacked?”

“What about them?”

“Well… uhh… never mind, we will deal with that later, for now let’s go back out to the living room and talk to your friends.”

“I would prefer not to,” I said. Vinyl glared at me.

“They are your friends, Tavi, they will still love you, I mean, I didn’t even have to say that much to get them to rally to your side. So don’t worry, just go down there, apologize, and everything will be supercopa-whatever.” She gave me a reassuring pat on the back.

“It’s copasetic,” I said.

“Yeah, that thing, so go on and get down there and make everything copaseptic.” I swear, she was just mispronouncing it now to irritate me.

“Hello, everypony,” I said as I trotted downstairs, “I apologize for my earlier outburst, I have a tendency of internalizing my stress as opposed to discussing it like a normal rational pony, and that leads to me having the occasional… outburst.”

“Is that how we decided to describe the high-pitched wailing?” Lyra asked as Bon Bon elbowed her again. “Geeze Bonnie, I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page.”

“Yes Lyra, that is how we will describe my high-pitched wailing. Anyways,” I said, clapping my forehooves together, “If that is taken care of for now, shall we get to work on our rehearsal? We only have a few months until our first show.”

“Oh, about that darling,” Rarity said, “I meant to mention this earlier, but everypony was so busy, I didn’t have the chance to bring it up. On my way home to start designing your outfits, I ran into the mayor. We started talking, I mentioned the orchestra, and I might have volunteered you all to play at the Ponyville Harvest Festival.”

I could feel my eye twitching, “When is that?”

“Oh, about three days. I didn’t intend to, but while the mayor and I were talking Royal Riff entered into the conversation, heard that the Harvest Festival lacked any proper musical entertainment and volunteered HIS orchestra, and I might gotten a bit carried away.”

“Well, I thank you for telling me that, Rarity,” I said, somehow avoiding another screaming fit, “Normally, such a task would be impossible, but everypony here is an accomplished musician, so I am sure we will sound fine. Now let’s get to work, we have a lot to do, and apparently, very little time.”

With that, I passed the sheet music out and let Twilight try her hoof at conducting. To my great surprise, she did well. Certainly better than most of the other orchestra members.

No, that’s not entirely true, Lyra, myself, and, surprisingly enough, Fiddlesticks managed to play competently, leaving us with two problem players. Pinkie Pie and my marefriend.

Vinyl’s problem would be simple enough to correct, she played so loudly that she drowned out the rest of the orchestra. As long as I could impress upon her the need to play quietly, there would be no problem. And maybe I could convince Celestia to not raise the sun while I was at it.

Then there was Pinkie, she wasn’t even trying to play the same song the rest of us were working on and was instead marching to the beat of a very different drummer. A drummer who seemed to play exclusively polka music
.

“Alright, Pinkie,” I said, interrupting the performance, “What exactly are you playing?”

She smiled, “The Pony Pokey Polka, silly, don’t tell me you don’t recognize it. We played it together at the Grand Galloping Gala.”

Oh yes, the song from my nightmares, how did I not recognize it immediately? To my great surprise, I didn’t instantly move to strangle the bouncy pink pony, and instead just nodded my head and smiled. “Well, we aren’t playing the Pony Pokey, so I would suggest you play the same song the rest of us are.”

“But I don’t know that song.”

I facehoofed, “That is why I provided the sheet music, so we would all be on the same page.”

“Oh! Is that what all these squiggly things are for? I thought you just had really bad penmanship.”

Of course she didn’t know how to read sheet music, she never played professionally, and she seemed to do most of her playing by ear. Wonderful. “Uhmm Pinkie, why don’t I teach you the basics of reading sheet music, I am sure Octavia is busy,” Twilight said, mercifully volunteering to tutor Pinkie before I had my second mental break of the day, giving me the chance to have a talk with my roommate.

“Oh hey,” Vinyl said as I trotted over to her, “What’s up?”

“Hello Vinyl, I came to talk to you about your playing.”

“So… guessing this isn’t a social visit then?”

I shook my head, “I am afraid you’re playing your drums just a touch too loud and drowning everypony else out.”

She nodded, “So… how are you going to get them to play louder?”

“I am not,” I said, “I am asking you to play quieter.”

Vinyl’s brow furrowed as she tried to comprehend my request, “But… it is music, it is meant to be played loud. That way you can hear all of it.”

That… that made absolutely zero sense. Why would louder music allow you to hear more of it? It would just hurt your ear drums. “Well,” I said, “If you drown out everypony else who is playing then you aren’t allowing the listener to hear the full richness of sound from the other instruments, are you?”

Vinyl paused for a second, her expression unreadable with her signature goggles obscuring her eyes. “I suppose not, but why can’t they just play louder?”

“Because, Vinyl, you are playing a massive bass drum, while they are playing substantially smaller instruments. I would appreciate it if you would play your drums quieter.”

She let out a sigh, “Alright, but only for you Tavi. If word got out that DJ-Pon3 wasn't dropping the phattest beats at the loudest volume, my career would be ruined.”

I had no idea what some of those words meant, but I nodded my head anyways, “Your secret is safe with me Viney.”

“Viney? Really? Is that the nickname you are gonna go with?”

“Is it any worse than Tavi?” I asked.

“Well, no, but at least MY nickname for you gets rid of one syllable, yours just makes me sound like… I don’t know, a vine or something.”

I batted my eyelashes in mock surprise, “If you have an objection to it then I will gladly go back to calling you Vinyl.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she said after a few seconds of thought, “Nopony has ever called me Viney before, don’t know why.”

“Then, as long as you don’t mind, I think I will keep your nickname. Consider it my revenge for you inflicting the nickname ‘Tavi’ upon me.” We both smiled at that, and I turned to face Twilight.

“How much longer do you think it will take to educate Miss Pie on the basics of sheet music?” I asked her.

“She’s actually figuring it out pretty quickly, so… maybe one or two more hours until she is ready.” Learning sheet music in only a couple of hours? That’s like learning a foreign language during a lunch break, impossible. But then, if there’s a mare who excels at doing impossible things it is Pinkie Pie. I decided it best not to comment out loud about Pinkie’s continued refusal to play by the same physical rules as the rest of us.

“Alright then,” I said, turning to address the rest of the orchestra, “While Pinkie learns how to read sheet music, we might as well take a break. Is anypony up for a late lunch? I haven’t eaten yet today, and I am starting to get a bit peckish.”

Rarity nodded. Why was she still here? “That sounds absolutely lovely darling, Would Vinyl be interested in joining us?” My roommate nodded. “Then we simply must go to this new Prench café that recently opened, I have been dying to try it out.”

First of all, Ponyville had a Prench café? Second of all, why hadn’t I heard about this until now? “I am surprised you haven’t had the chance to go there yourself,” I said.

“Well, I wanted to, but most of my friends aren’t interested in such things and I didn’t want to impose on them. I had intended to sample the cuisine with Fancypants when he was visiting the other day, but you know how busy things can be.” Especially when you have to deal with your livelihood burning down.

“Then let’s go,” I said, trotting to the door, “I haven’t had any proper haute cuisine since I came to Ponyville.”

“I don’t know if it’s proper haute cuisine,” Rarity said, following behind me, “But it is probably the closest Ponyville will get for the foreseeable future. Still, I am looking forward to it.”

Vinyl followed behind us, not saying anything. “Have you ever eaten at a Prench restaurant before?” I asked her.

“Not really,” she said, “But, I mean, it’s like any other restaurant, right, worst case scenario, I will just get a daffodil sandwich and hayfries or something.”

I winced. My roommate might be in for a bit of a shock. Still, she might be able to find something to eat. Possibly. Or maybe the whole thing would end in disaster. Because I hadn't quite had my fill of disaster yet.

Rarity led us to the café and the maître d’ ushered us to our seats. The patio seating was perfectly lovely, and I caught myself admiring the floral arrangements at the center of the table. “So, Vinyl, what do you think of the restaurant?” I heard Rarity ask.

“Seems pretty nice, kind of fancy.” She flipped through the menu, “I have no idea what any of these things are though.”

“Yes, well, what type of foods do you usually enjoy?” Rarity asked.

She shrugged, “I don’t know, pizza is good, do they have pizza here?”

“No dear, that would have to be at an Istallion restaurant. We have… do you like crepes? Well, those are really more of a dessert food.”

I decided to speak up, “I am sure she will enjoy some cheese and baguettes as an appetizer, and as for the main course, we have… Do you like soup?”

Vinyl nodded. “Great,” I said, “Then you should like this soup, or you could just go with the hay frites.”

Her eyes lit up at that, “Hay frites? Are those like hay fries?”

I nodded my head, “They are almost exactly the same.”

“I’ll have some of those then,” she said. And there goes my hope at culturing my friend.

We all placed our orders a few minutes later, I ordered a lovely bisque and Rarity helped herself to a fresh garden salad. Vinyl, of course, ordered the hay frites. “Thank you for volunteering to design the outfits for the orchestra,” I said.

She smiled magnanimously, “Think nothing of it dear. You were so helpful to me, I am more than happy to repay the favor. Besides, I would have to be absolutely insane to refuse the opportunity to design outfits for a royal orchestra. Such a thing could make a pony’s career.”

It could, unless the orchestra was completely and utterly doomed. Still, her enthusiasm was admirable.

“Mhmm,” Vinyl said, as she shoveled hay frites down her throat, “These are good, I can see why ponies are so crazy about Prench cuisine”

“Yes, Vinyl, Prench cuisine’s primary claim to fame is the invention of hay frites. They didn’t revolutionize modern cuisine or anything else, they just invented hay frites,” I said.

“Yeah, they are really good, I can see why it’s so popular.” Somehow, I managed not to facehoof.

“I can assure you, the rest of their cuisine is just as delightful,” Rarity said taking a dainty bite of her salad and saving me from having to think of a coherent response.

As I helped myself to a few small bites of my bisque, Vinyl finished off the rest of her frites. She grabbed the waiter as he passed by again, “Could I have some more hay frites? They are really good.”

The waiter nodded, “But of course, more hay frites for the madame.” Rarity and I exchanged glances.

When I was about halfway through my bisque, Vinyl was finished off her second plate of hay frites, a dish that was typically considered a side item to go with an entrée. “Do you think I can have thirds?” She asked.

Rarity and I nodded. “Help yourself, dear, lunch is on me.”

She stopped eating at that, “Oh no, I don’t want to run up the bill on you, I mean, I thought Tavi was paying for me…” I glared at her, “Or that I would pay for myself.”

“Think nothing of it dear,” Rarity said after a short little laugh, “I enjoy treating my friends to a nice lunch now and then. It is my way of thanking you all for the business opportunity.”

For being the Element of Generosity, I always felt like she was getting the better deal. We are gifted a few fancy dresses, and she gets to be the talk of Canterlot and be inundated in business orders. I think I found a new role model.

“Thank you for your kindness, Rarity,” I said, nodding my head to her, “I will have to make it up to you some time.”

“Please, it’s not a competition, dear, friends help friends, you don’t have to make it up to me.”

“I know,” I said after another bite of bisque, “Still, I dislike the idea of being in another pony’s debt, even if, rationally, I shouldn’t.”

“Well, if it would make you feel any better, I could use a bit of help in the shop getting ready for Nightmare Night,” Rarity said.

Well played. “I would love to,” I said, “But I don’t know all that much about dress design.”

“That’s perfectly fine,” she said, “I would be indebted to you if you just helped me mind the till so I can focus on making the costumes.”

“I can do that,” I said, nodding my head. Had she set all this up? Probably not, but she still knew how to take advantage of a situation. I smiled, balance had been restored to the universe. “When do you need me?”

“The two days leading up to Nightmare Night are usually the busiest, so if you could come over Wednesday or Thursday, that would be lovely.”

I nodded my head, “I think I will come by Thursday. The last time I came by your shop on a Wednesday, unpleasant things happened.”

“Alright, I look forward to seeing you then. I am sure it will go better than last time.” Oh sweet merciful Celestia, why in Equestria would you say that? Why would you tempt the fates so blatantly? You’ve doomed us all!

“Is something wrong dear?” Rarity asked, “You look like… Well, you look like you just saw Discord sneaking in the bushes.”

“Oh yeah,” Vinyl said after shoveling, “She kind of freaks out when someone says anything like ‘what’s the worst that can happen’ or ‘I am sure everything will be fine.’ She kind of thinks it means bad things will happen to her. Based on the way the past few days have been, she might be right.”

Rarity tapped her chin, “Well, if we called attention to it in a conversation then do you think we would avert whatever horrible doom we had brought upon ourselves?”

Maybe. I hadn’t considered that angle before, “I suppose it might, but only if we operate under the assumption that something horrible will happen Thursday.” I certainly knew something horrible would be happening the day after that, but I saw no need to incite a panic. Also, for all I knew, the knowledge of Discord’s prank could just be an attempt to make me look foalish. I wasn’t about to play his game.

“Then… let’s do our best Thursday to make sure nothing terrible happens,” Rarity said.

“Okay, that… we might have a chance then, but only if we avoid making any assumptions about how the day will go.”

The rest of our meal was uneventful, and Vinyl helped herself to two more servings of hay frites. Our waiter refrained from making any rude remarks, and Rarity was able to keep her composure upon seeing bill. I offered to reimburse her for a portion of it, but she refused again, saying that I could pay her back Thursday.

“If you’ll excuse me,” she said, getting up on her hooves, “I really do have to get to work if I am going to fill all these orders before Nightmare Night and get your outfits ready before your concert on… Oh dear. Octavia, I just remembered, the orchestra has their first little performance on Thursday, it completely slipped my mind, so if you can’t make it then, I will understand.”

I tapped my chin, “I suppose I could come over a day earlier, just… promise me we won’t be burning down the shop again, I am still having the occasional coughing fit.”

Rarity smiled at me, “I won’t make any guarantees, but I will do my best.”

“That’s fine,” I said, getting up on my own hooves, “Vinyl, we should really be heading back, our lunch break won’t last forever and apparently Pinkie is some sort of prodigy that can learn to read sheet music in less than a day.”

“Yeah, about that,” Vinyl said, following me out of the restaurant, “Isn’t it kind of odd how quickly she can figure out how to read sheet music? I mean, it took me months to figure it out, and I am still not the best.”

“Out of all the impossible things Pinkie Pie does, that is the one that gives you pause?” I asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that Pinkie seems to do twelve impossible things before breakfast. Take that ridiculous polka suit of hers, do you ever wonder how she manages to play it?”

Vinyl shrugged, “I figured it was just like… Pinkie being Pinkie.” She blinked a few times, “Huh, that mare does do a lot of weird things when you think about it.”

That was the understatement of the millennium. “I think I will check around and see if anypony else noticed anything odd about her as well.” Good luck with that, I thought, the whole town seems to have blithely accepted the maxim of “That’s just Pinkie being Pinkie.” I didn’t say anything to dampen Vinyl’s spirits though, who knows, maybe she will convince the rest of the town to see reason.

“Oh, and by the way,” I said as we continued the walk back to our house, “Hay frites, really? Those are at best, a side order, you don’t go and make an entire meal out of them.”

“But they were so good,” she said, trotting next to me, “I mean, they make regular hay fries look like… well, those are still pretty good too, but these are better.”

I let out an exasperated sigh, “It’s Prench cuisine, it’s all good, you just have to take a chance and expand your horizons. You could stand to try new things.” I poked my hoof at her for emphasis.

“You mean like taking time out of my DJing and partying to play in some super fancy orchestra or going out with a mare who could also be described as super fancy?” She asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Yes, like that,” I said, letting out a sigh, “But there is so much more, and not everything that is super fancy is boring or stuffy.”

“True,” she said, nodding her head, “I mean, you’re pretty okay, even if you are pretty stuffy.” Vinyl smiled and I swatted at her playfully, “But, you have to meet me half way here, I mean, if I am gonna be trying all this fancy stuff, you need to—”

“Yes, yes, I need to let my mane down,” I said, finishing the sentence for her, “You’ve told me that so many times now, I am beginning to think you might be serious.”

“I am serious,” she said, returning my earlier gesture and poking me in the chest, “You’re great and all, but you are just SO prissy and proper, it’s like pulling teeth to get you to go out and have fun.”

“Well,” I said, “There is this one mare who caught my eye, she isn’t particularly sophisticated, and her table manners are simply atrocious, but she has a certain… je ne sais quoi. Perhaps I will go and ask her out sometime.”

Vinyl looked at me, her eyes narrowed, “You’re talking about me right?”

I nodded.

“Good, cool, thought so, I just wanted to make sure. I mean, it is so weird hearing you try to be funny, I had to go and double check.”

“That… I have gotten a lot better since I came to Ponyville. I’ve gone drinking, made friends, I somehow convinced you to go out with me, and I can do this in public without having a panic attack.” At that, I leaned in and gave my marefriend a small peck on the cheek. After all the other terrible things that have happened to me since coming to this town, the idea of a brief public display of affection didn’t seem so terrifying. Besides, it’s not like the whole town already knew somehow.

Vinyl nodded her head, “I will admit, you have made a lot of good progress, keep at it, and you might trade your cello in for… I don’t know, like… an electric cello.”

I laughed at that, “Trade in the cello that you helped make? Not even for a one-way ticket back to Canterlot.”

“Actually, about that,” she said, “What are you going to do when this whole thing blows over? I mean, I would hate to move back to Canterlot, but I can find work there. DJ-Pon3 is always in pretty high demand, especially after those nobles heard that I played during the royal wedding.”

For the second time that day, I was able to resist an almost overwhelming urge to strangle somepony. I might have to write back to Dr. Whooves and inform him of my rather violent impulses. Those probably aren’t normal, but then, I doubt any aspect of my life would be considered normal these days. Still, I really didn’t want to have a repeat of my post-garden party meltdown. That would be… unpleasant for all parties involved.

“Truthfully, I haven’t given it much thought, and assuming I can survive my time in Ponyville, I will consider the whole thing a success.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know you think this town is some sort of all-devouring hole, but what do you want to do when you are done with the orchestra?”

I… I actually hadn’t considered that eventuality before. It seemed strange considering how desperately I wanted to leave this town, but there it was. While I did value my friends, I absolutely despised the town proper (or more accurately, I disliked all of the interesting things that happened to me while in the town), and I adored Canterlot. I could either choose to stay with my friends in Ponyville, or abandon them to return to Canterlot. Either way, it felt like I would be leaving a piece of myself behind. The question then, was which part of me should go? The mare I had always wanted to be or the mare I was slowly turning in to?

Of course, all of this speculating is purely academic, and for all I knew, the orchestra could prove to be a smashing success (Not likely), meaning that I would get to spend most of my time on tour, away from both my life in Ponyville and my life in Canterlot.

“That all depends on what happens with the orchestra,” I said, “But tell me, what is prompting this concern.”

“Well,” she said, “I don’t know if you realize this, but I kind of like you, and kind of don’t want you to leave.” Right, she was worried because she didn’t want to lose me, and upon reflection, I decided that I didn’t wish to lose her either.

“I see, if I am forced to move back to Canterlot, you could always come with me,” I said. My apartment isn’t the biggest in the world, but I am sure I could turn the study into a spare bedroom.”

“Right,” she said, nodding her head, “But what about Lyra and Bon Bon, I am kind of their main friend in town.”

“They could move to Canterlot as well, but who knows, I might just end up being stuck in Ponyville indefinitely.” And for some reason, that thought didn’t fill me with an almost palpable sense of dread. That worried me more than almost anything else.

We talked for a little while longer about the possible outcomes of the Royal Ponyville Orchestra, before eventually reaching the house. Everypony else had returned from their little break, and Pinkie Pie had indeed mastered reading sheet music in the span of a few hours. Vinyl and I exchanged a glance, but nothing more was said on the subject. Pinkie Physics are just an accepted part of life here, I suppose.

The rest of the rehearsals went surprisingly well. I am not saying everypony played perfectly, they didn’t, but they played competently, and the more we rehearsed, the better they became. If it weren’t for the fact that Royal Riff was almost certainly going to take the orchestra from me, I would go so far as to say or task might not be entirely hopeless.

Several hours later, our rehearsal concluded and most ponies went back to their house after a few minutes of small talk, eventually, only Vinyl, myself, and Fiddlesticks were left in the main room. “Hey cus, ya got a real nice orchestra goin’ here, I bet it will wind up bein’ the biggest, fanciest orchestra of all time, gotta tip my hat to you.” I nodded my head gracefully at that, although I doubted the authenticity of her statement. If six mares managed to form the biggest, fanciest orchestra of all time, something was deeply wrong with the world.

“Yes, well, hopefully I will be able to maintain control of the orchestra and Royal Riff won’t take over.”

“Even if he does, I’m not gonna follow anyone who takes a job away from my kin.”

I smiled. “Thank you for your loyalty Fiddlesticks, now was there something you needed?” I asked, wondering what was prompting her to linger.

“Oh yeah, the Apples are havin’ a little hootenanny tonight, and I thought that, since you is kin, you might want to come along.”

Ahh Fiddlesticks, while we might be related by blood, you can be certain that I will never, not even in my wildest dreams, go to anything called a hootenanny. Ever.

“Sure,” Vinyl said enthusiastically, “That sounds like fun. I am sure Tavi and I will love it.” Vinyl, just because we are dating, and I am admittedly rather fond of you, don’t assume I won’t hesitate to end you. Still, I smiled, nodded my head, and agreed that that sounded like a lovely idea while figuring out how best to plan my revenge without permanently damaging our relationship.

“Why did you agree to go to this?” I whispered to her.

She shrugged, “It sounded fun.” Vinyl turned to address Fiddlesticks, “You go on ahead, we will be heading out in a bit.”

“Alright,” she said, turning to leave, “I’ll see in you in a bit, cus.”

“In what possible world does a ‘hootenanny’ sound like a good time.”

“Well, you know, it’s an Apple family party, so the food is guaranteed to be great, and I have always wanted to go to the harvest hootenanny.”

“Then why didn’t you?” I asked.

“Because,” she said, “It’s an Apple family party, only family and friends of the family are allowed. But since you’re their kin and I am your friend…” She smiled. Well played Vinyl.

“Still, I am sure you could have just befriended one of the Apples if you really wanted an invitation. If they are anything like Fiddlesticks, I am sure they would have obliged you.” I said.

Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, probably, but... I don’t know, dragging you along is just way more fun than going by myself.”

I nodded, I would definitely have to get my revenge against Vinyl once all this was over. Still, if she wanted to go to a party, we could go to a party. “Alright,” I said as I finished reorganizing the living room, “I suppose I can be persuaded to go just this once, but you owe me.”

“Okay,” she said as we headed out the door, “But I promise, you will have fun.” I highly doubted that, but then, I had been proven wrong before. In fact, I had been proven wrong with an alarming frequency during the past few days.

“You may be right,” I said, “But I just don’t see the appeal of a bunch of anything called a hootenanny.”

“Do you know what a hootenanny actually is?” She asked, turning to look at me.

“Well, not exactly, but—”

“Alright then,” Vinyl said, “So maybe you should go there and see what it is all about before going on and judging it. Ya know, common courtesy and all. After all, the Apples are your family.”

Very, very distant family. And although I didn’t spend all that much time with them, the Oranges would never dream of hosting something called a hootenanny. They were rather fond of their soirees though. “You have a point, Vinyl, I will refrain from passing judgment until after the party, although I still doubt I will enjoy it.”

“Good enough,” she said, “Besides, you enjoyed the last party you went to.”

“The last party I went to was Rarity’s grand reopening and you and the rest of Ponyville collaborated to give me the most wonderful gift imaginable, so of course I liked it. That doesn’t mean I will enjoy a hootenanny.”

“I get it, but hey, on the upside, your favorite mare will be there, and she might just ask you to dance with her.”

I took a moment to think that over, “While I am not typically a fan of dancing jigs, or whatever the customary hootenanny dance is, I suppose it might be slightly more bearable with you to suffer with me.”

“What’s that about suffering?” Vinyl asked, “I am going to be having the time of my life, there’s gonna be apple cider, apple pie, apple fritters, apple everything really, and it is all going to be delicious.”

“That’s incredible, Vinyl, you have actually managed to make me look forward to something called a hootenanny. You are a miracle worker.”

Vinyl gave me a peck on the cheek and wrapped her foreleg around me, “If you think that is amazing, you should see what else I am going to make you look forward to.”

Five minutes later, Vinyl had managed to coax me out from under a nearby park bench. “Alright, I am sorry, I forgot you are kind of a prude,” she said.

I glared at her, and she felt the need to quickly amend her statement, “Not that that’s a bad thing, I mean, I knew going into this relationship that you and I have very different ideas about what is and isn’t okay to talk about—”

I shoved my hoof over her mouth, shushing her. “It’s fine, I know I am a prude, and because I am a prude, I would appreciate it if we didn’t talk about relationship things in public. It just isn’t proper.”

“Oh, right. Sorry. Can we talk about it when we get home?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Alright, you aren’t too mad at me then?” Vinyl asked.

“I am not upset in the slightest; I just like having my privacy and not discussing personal matters in public.” That was half true, I wasn’t upset about the relationship thing. I was still very much annoyed about being forced to go to a hootenanny.

“Okay, just so long as you aren’t mad then.”

We continued our walk to the hootenanny, which was apparently being held on a farm way out of town. The trip took us thirty minutes, and once we finally got there… Well, whatever I had imagined a hootenanny would entail was far too tame. Large groups of ponies danced with wild abandon to Fiddlestick’s fiddling and food and drink was available in truly massive quantities. If the food wasn’t all fried and the music wasn’t so… lowbrow, it might have been fun. Still, I had promised Vinyl that I would try to enjoy myself, and I intended to honor that promise.

“Well howdy,” an orange mare I recognized from the Gala said, Applejack, I assumed, “Twilight an’ them have told me so much about ya, I am glad you decided to come. Once Fiddlesticks told me we were kin, I knew ya would have to come to the next Apple Family Hootenanny.” She shook my hoof rather vigorously, and I did my best to smile. “Now go on and get to mingling, there are plenty of ponies around and we got more food than you can shake a stick at.”

Vinyl perked up at the mention of food and quickly trotted off to the buffet table. “Thanks for inviting us to your party AJ, think this one will be as good as the last one?”

My eye twitched, I would definitely have to murder Vinyl after all this was through. “You bet,” Applejack said, “Now don’t go eatin’ all our fritters like last time, and help yourself to the cider.”

“So… might I ask what the occasion for this party is?” I said, turning my attention back to Applejack (Although a small part of my brain was redoubling its efforts to scheme against Vinyl).

“Sure thing Sugarcube, every year, once we finish the zap apple harvest, we have a big old party to celebrate and enjoy each other's company, so we get some local family around and just go hog wild. And since you are family and live in the area, I figure that means you got as much a right to be here as anypony.”

“Well, thank you,” I said, genuinely surprised at her generosity, “I will do my best to have a good time.”

“I’m sure you will, now best be getting’ to your marefriend before she eats the entire buffet.”

I nodded at that, thanked her again, and trotted off to have a little talk with Vinyl.

“You said you’d never been to one of their parties before.”

“No, I said I’d always wanted to go to this party. AJ and them have invited me to a few of their other little parties, but never the official End of Harvest Hootenanny.” Oh, that was much better then, and did they honestly call this party a hootenanny? I had just assumed it was their casual and rustic way of referring to a party. But no, it turns out the party was actually called a hootenanny. Somepony flipped through a thesaurus, found all the possible synonyms for party, and decided that ‘hootenanny’ was the best word for describing their party. Of course, the place was absolutely packed, so they must have done something right.

“Still, you could have—”

I was interrupted as Vinyl shoved what she called an apple fritter into my mouth, “Stop talking and try this.”
It was absolutely amazing. The apples and cinnamon mingled perfectly, the breading was the right consistency, and every last one of my taste buds sang out in ecstasy. “Mhmm,” I said, swallowing the fritter, “I forgive you for everything you did in order to get me here because it led to this fritter. Unfortunately, I now have to leave you for somepony who knows how to make more of these.”

“Fair enough,” Vinyl said, taking another bite of her fritter, “Although I should warn you, most of the Apple Family is pretty traditional when it comes to those things.”

“Damn, in that case would you be interested in helping me steal the recipe for the aforementioned fritters?”

She nodded, “Sure, but before we do that, you should probably try out the rest of the food here. The apple pie makes the fritters look like… well, they still look pretty amazing, but go on and try it.”

The apple pie was fantastic, the apple dumplings were delectable, the caramel apples were perfect, and every dish I sampled was absolutely wonderful. It took every ounce of my willpower not to cram myself full of apple themed confections as Vinyl was doing. “Hey Tavi,” she said whilst coming up for air, “Have you tried the hard cider yet? This is one of the few times you can actually get some without having to stand in a line. Well… a long line.” She gestured to where a group of ponies had lined up patiently waiting for Apple Bloom to pour them a mug of cider. I followed my roommate’s advice and got in the queue.

“Oh hey Octavia,” Apple Bloom said as I reached the front of the line, “What brings you to our little get-together?”

“Well, apparently I am an Apple by distant relation,” I said, “And once that became common knowledge, I suppose it was only inevitable that Fiddlesticks decided to invite me to one of your family’s events. I have to admit though, I am enjoying myself far more than I initially expected.”

“Glad to hear it,” the filly said after pouring my mug of cider, “The more the merrier right? And hey, maybe if things go your way, Vinyl will be joining the family too, always wanted a cool cousin who cousin.”

I thought of a lot of things during that second. My first thought was that I would very much like to curl up into a ball and vanish into nothingness, second, I thought that Apple Bloom was far FAR too young to know of such things, third, I thought she might have a small point (This thought didn’t last particularly long), and finally, my mind returned to the idea of dropping to the floor and curling up into a ball. I quickly decided that this was the proper course of action.

“You alright, Tavi?” Apple Bloom said, looking down at me from her booth, for my part, I stayed completely motionless. Vinyl noted the commotion and came over to investigate.

“What’s going on?” She asked Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom just pointed to where I had curled up on the ground.

“Tavi, this is the third time you have freaked out today, we really need to do something about that,” she said.

I nodded my head by about a fraction of an inch.

“Alright,” she said, lifting me up on her back, “Let’s go get you fixed up. Oh, and Apple Bloom, could you save a few cups of cider for us?”

The yellow pony nodded as Vinyl carried me off to a nearby barn. “Okay Tavi,” she said, setting me down on the ground, “Are you okay?”

I shook my head.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Start by telling me what happened to trigger this episode,” Vinyl said, sitting next to me and draping her foreleg over my body.

“Well,” I said, laughing slightly in embarrassment, “Apple Bloom offhoofedly mentioned the possibility of us getting married and I… Well, I suppose I lost my calm.” Yes, it was a truly massive understatement. Yes, Vinyl and I both knew it was an understatement. No, neither of us commented on such a blatant lie.

“So, was this just a propriety thingy or whatever, or do you actually have some problem with marriage?” She asked.

“It’s not that, it’s just that... I don’t know,” I said lamely, “I have this anxiety about ponies knowing about my personal life. I am not sure why it exists, but whenever I feel like my personal life is being made public, I tend to react poorly.”

“No kidding,” she said, nodding her head, “Any idea why you get all anxiety-ey?”

“Not really, it is just the way I was raised, I suppose. My parents were very strict about me not bringing up personal issues in public, and whenever I erred, they were always sure to apply an appropriate punishment.”

Her brow furrowed, “Like what?”

“No physical punishment of course, they weren’t abusive, they mostly just grounded me. One time, I remember being grounded for a month because I asked about why my uncle had to go to the hospital while we were in public. They weren’t upset of course, but I needed to learn about personal boundaries and why I shouldn’t cross them.”

Vinyl tapped her chin, “Tavi, don’t take this the wrong way, but the more I learn about your parents, the more your weirdness kind of makes sense.”

I tilted my head, “I am not sure if I should interpret that as a compliment or an insult.”

“It’s neither Tavi, it’s just… wow, your parents really did a number on you.”

“You make it sound like they were abusive, they weren’t. All they wanted was for me to be absolutely perfect.”

“Yeah, see,” Vinyl said, “That’s not normal. I mean, I get all parents want what’s best for their children, but there is a difference between supporting them and pushing them to reach an impossible goal. Like, my parents, they didn’t want me to be a DJ and thought I was kind of wasting my potential, but once it was clear that that is what I had my heart set on, they actually supported me. Although, they did make it clear that I should have a fallback career in mind in case DJing didn’t pan out. They supported me and gave me advice, they didn’t just disown me for not doing what they wanted me to do.”

I got up on my hooves, feeling the need to defend my parents, “I understand that Vinyl, but my parents were more… traditional. They felt love and affection were something that needed to be earned and shouldn’t just be handed out. Maybe it’s not the popular parenting style, but it made me the mare I am today.”

“Wait, you mean they didn’t love you?” Vinyl asked.

“No, no, of course they loved me, I am sure of that. Granted, I don’t think they ever actually said it, but they spent ten years raising me. Yes, they kicked me out later, but only after they thought I was capable of living on my own.”

“At the age of twelve,” Vinyl said.

“Yes, at the age of twelve, which, granted is a bit earlier than most, but they still wanted what was best for me.”

“No, they wanted you to do what THEY thought was best for you, it doesn’t sound like they cared about what you wanted.”

I felt my body trembling with a strange emotion, every part of me felt like it had been twisted up and the only two options available to me were to lash out or to collapse in on myself. I stood, locked in combat with myself, trying to keep my body from ripping itself apart.

Vinyl noticed my distress and moved to wrap her forelegs around me, “Hey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you, I just…”

I hate admitting to crying. It strikes me as the ultimate weakness, an inability to control one’s emotions that leads to such a violent physical outburst. Worse yet is sobbing as I lose almost all control of my body, and with it, my dignity. So believe me when I say that crying in front of a mare whose opinion and estimation of me I valued above all other’s was one of the least pleasant situations in my life, and I feared she would walk out on me for such a display of weakness.

If my parents had seen me then, they probably would have killed me for being so uncouth, for having the audacity to not just cry, but cry in front of somepony. To my credit, I did try to pull away from Vinyl so that I could deal with my shame in private, but she refused to let me go. Instead, she did something completely unexpected, she whispered reassurances to me, she told me that everything was going to be okay. She didn’t berate me, she didn’t judge me for my many many weaknesses, she just held me and said that everything was going to be fine. I loved her for that.

Finally, my fit subsided and I was able to collect myself somewhat, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Vinyl asked, “For doing what anypony would do in a similar situation? For comforting a mare in need? Yes, you’re my marefriend so I want to help you more than I would most ponies, but that… that was just basic kindness.

I smiled at her, “You really earnestly believe that don’t you?’

Vinyl nodded, “Of course I do.”

“It’s funny, really,” I said, “My whole life, my parents told me that no pony would care about my problems, and that any emotional outburst or display was a sign of weakness. I spent my whole life convinced that if I ever opened up to somepony they would leave in disgust. Maybe that’s still true, maybe it isn’t, but for the first time in my life, I am thinking that maybe other ponies will still accept me eve if I am honest with them, that maybe my parents weren’t right about how the world worked. For the first time in my life, I feel like I can express myself freely around somepony without fear of judgment or recrimination.”

After that, I kissed Vinyl. It wasn’t a quick peck on the cheek, but was instead a slow lingering thing. Our lips met, our bodies drew close, and for a few moments we were content to just be near each other as I basked in the sensation of her lips upon mine.

From outside, I heard the faint sounds of fiddling, and an idea crept into my mind. “Viney, what would you say to a dance?”

She smiled and headed to the barn door, “I would say that I’d love to, just so long as you wouldn’t mind dancing to something so lowbrow.”

“I think I can make an exception just this once,” I said, “Just promise me you won’t go around telling every pony that I actually had fun at a hootenanny, my reputation would be absolutely ruined.”

“Whatever you say, Tavi,” Vinyl said as we opened the barn door and walked out into a pack of dancing Apples. Before I could properly react, she had dragged me out into the center of the dance floor, and our forelegs wrapped around the other’s midsection. Standing on just two hooves, we danced to what I later discovered was the traditional Apple barn raising song.

Our bodies twirled round each other. At times, we were connected only by our forehooves, and at others, not an iota of light could shine between us. The dancing was wild and frantic, an expression of pure exuberance. When the music called for it, we would trade partners, and I would spend some time dancing with an unknown relative, but Vinyl and I always managed to be reunited within a few minutes. Around us, hooves stomped, ponies laughed, and the music played.

The memories of the rest of the night tended to blur together, but there is one moment that is preserved perfectly in my memory. It was, I think, during the third chorus of the barn raising song and ponies were singing all around us. The wind was blowing through my mane, undoing all of my previous grooming efforts, but that wasn’t what was on my mind. Instead, I was thinking of my dance partner, of the way she moved on the dance floor, of the way her forehooves felt wrapped around my body. At that instant, our eyes locked, a second stretched out for an eternity, and I felt as if I knew my roommate perfectly, and I think she could see me as well. She was a mare who loved everything, who assumed all ponies were basically good until proven otherwise, and who wanted, more than anything else, to share her love with the world, and I felt that if I could live that one instant over and over again, I would be a truly happy mare.

After that, the rest of the party was uneventful, although I did try the Apple Family Cider, and it was absolutely amazing, just as Vinyl had promised. If it hadn’t been overpowered by the other wonderful events of that night, it might have made more of an impact on me, but it was still very good.

Several hours and several more mugs of cider later, Vinyl and I staggered back into the house. We were both singing a truly awful rendition of ‘Raise this Barn,” but neither of us were particularly concerned about pitch our key at the moment.

“Well that was… That was a very fun night Viney,” I said as I slammed the door shut.

“See, see, I told you you’d have fun,” she said, heading towards the stairs.

“Just, just what do you think you’re doing Miss Scratch?” I asked, moving between her and the stairs.

“It’s late, I’m going to bed, and then maybe to pee, or maybe I will pee first and then go to bed.”

“N-no you’re not, you are too drunk to be climbing up any stairs. I don’t want to wake up in the morning and see that you’ve gone and cracked your neck in your sleep.” Had I mentioned that we were both quite inebriated by this point?

“Well then… then what do you suggest?”

“We have a perfectly… perfectly lovely couch that you can get to without climbing up any stairs. Once you’ve sobered up you can go back to your bed.”

She nodded, and confident that the situation was now resolved, I decided I could now safely climb the stairs and go to bed. Obviously, after making such a fuss about my roommates inability to deal with stairs, I tripped on the first step and banged my head against the wall. Would you expect anything less?

“Hey, Vinyl,” I said, getting back up on my hooves, “Is there room on that couch for two ponies? I think I might be a little bit tipsy.”

Vinyl nodded and I crawled onto our extra-large couch with her. That night, with Vinyl’s forelegs wrapped around my body, I managed to fall asleep quickly and slept soundly for the rest of the night.

Day 12

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This morning was, well, I don’t want to say it was a good morning, as good mornings simply do not exist in Ponyville, but it was pleasant. The first sensation I felt upon waking was the warmth of Vinyl’s body pressed against mine, and I luxuriated in the feeling of her pressed against me. As much as I would have enjoyed spending the entire day next to her, I did have quite a bit of writing to do, and so I wormed my way out of Vinyl's grasp as quietly and stealthily as I could, and went about my morning routine, which I have described extensively in other entries.

As I started writing down the events of the last two days, I caught myself whistling some half-remembered song, and smiling wistfully. What in Equestria is wrong with me?

Hours of writing, humming, and smiling idiotically later, I heard a knock on my door, “Come in,” I said, quickly regaining my composure while still focusing on my journal.

“Hey,” Vinyl said as she walked in, “I think that was the first time you invited me to come into your room. I mean, the first time you invited me in when you were kind of clear-headed.”

I nodded my head at that, quickly grasping her meaning and recalling the morning of my very first hangover. Finding my roommate passed out in my bed had struck as completely mortifying at the time, but in hindsight, perhaps I had been overreacting slightly. “Yes, I suppose it is,” I said, turning to smile at her. “Did you just get up?” I asked.

She nodded, “Pretty much, I mean, I woke up, saw that you were gone, and figured you were either back in your room or out on some official orchestra business.” Vinyl looked at the book that was in front of me, “What are you writing?”

“It’s nothing, really,” I said, “Just adding the events of the last few days to my journal.”

“Cool,” she said, moving to sit on my bed, “So what else did you do after you got up? Haven’t done anymore house cleaning have you?”

I shook my head, “I’ve just been writing.”

“Oh.” Vinyl furrowed her brow in thought, “So did you just get up?”

“No, I’ve been up for the past several hours, but the past few days were rather hectic, and there were several important events I had to discuss in-depth.”

“Really?” She asked, arching an eyebrow, “How long are these journal entries?”

“Well, yesterday’s entry is currently at about thirty pages, but I suspect I will write at least five more pages describing the ‘hootenanny’ and the aftermath thereof, while Sunday was a moderately shorter twenty-eight pages.”

“That… That’s insane,” Vinyl said, “You wrote almost sixty pages describing what happened to you during the last two days? My journal entries barely make it to two paragraphs.”

“I know,” I said, turning to smile at her, “I have read quite a few of them.”

“Right, so… do you just really like journaling then?”

“It’s funny,” I said, putting my quill down and moving to sit next to her on my bed, “I started off loathing it, but my therapist thought it would be a good idea and since he was the main thing standing between me and potential jail time, I decided to oblige him.”

“Wait,” Vinyl interjected, “What is that about going to jail?”

“Well,” I said, working to keep my face somewhat even, “You remember how I had a negative reaction upon meeting Pinkie Pie after first moving here?”

"Understatement," she said, nodding.

“And you remember why I was so upset with her, correct?”

“Yeah, cause she kind of crashed the two biggest gigs in your life and then hired me to DJ the royal wedding.”

Oh Vinyl, if you weren’t my marefriend I would have absolutely throttled the life out of you for saying that. I was still sorely tempted to, but somehow my less felonious nature managed to prevail. “That is… correct,” I said after calming myself somewhat, “Well, after that, just thinking about the pink pony who seemed determined to ruin my career was enough to enrage me, so when I saw a pegasus that looked almost exactly like her… I might have chased her with the intent of using my cello as an improvised melee weapon. Obviously, I wasn’t in my right mind as I would never dream of doing anything that might damage my cello, but the courts were less than convinced and said I could either go see a court-appointed psychiatrist for one year or spend six months in jail. I opted for the therapy.”

“Wow, Pinkie really did a number on you didn’t she?”

I simply nodded, “In hindsight, it’s funny how much I hated a mare I had never properly met. How I had convinced myself that she was determined to ruin my life in some capacity. Then after I meet her, she turns out not to have a single malicious bone in her body. In hindsight, the whole thing makes me feel rather foalish,” I said, lowering my head in shame.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine Tavi. I mean, the attempted assault isn’t fine, but I get why you would be upset. You just need to figure out a healthier way to express said anger. Preferably something that doesn’t end in court-appointed therapy.”

“Agreed,” I said, allowing myself to lean against my roommate, “Anyways, after our sessions had concluded, the daily journaling had become such a force of habit that I didn’t feel right if I skipped it. In many ways, I find the act of writing to possess an almost meditative quality that allows me to calm down and see the day’s events in a fresh light.”

“Yeah, okay,” Vinyl said, nodding her head, “Still, do you really need to write like… sixty pages of stuff to cover two days? Why not just write down a few quick thoughts?”

“Because, Vinyl, I like being thorough in my writing, it allows me to keep a detailed record of the minutiae of my life for future reference, while also allowing me to reappraise the events of the previous day.”

“Fine, I get it, kind of,” Vinyl said, moving to nuzzle my neck, “But you can take a break from your writing for a little while right?”

I smiled, “I suppose I could be persuaded to. What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” she started, “Remember a week ago when you said you would help organize my DJing stuff sometime?”

I nodded, quickly seeing where this idea was going.

“I was thinking that since we don’t really have any big plans for today that it might be fun to do it together.”

“I assume that by ‘we’ you mean mostly me?” I said.

Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, I mean, I will do some of the grunt work, but I don’t really have a head for organizing stuff like you do.”

“Very well,” I said, “But you owe me for this.”

“Of course,” Vinyl said, “How in Equestria will I ever repay you? Ooh! Maybe I could clean your room sometime.”

“Absolutely not, I’ve seen your room and I would prefer to have you as much removed from the cleaning process as possible.”

“Okay, then what did you have in mind.”

I tapped my chin with my forehoof in thought for a few seconds, “A date, and I mean a proper date, with formal dress, a wonderful meal, and of course, the pleasure of your company.”

“Yeah, I think I can do that. When?”

“After we have organized your room, of course.” I got up on my hooves and headed towards Vinyl’s DJing room. As soon as I entered, I saw Vinyl’s bulging cabinet, packed with every record known to ponykind, if her previous claims were to be believed.

“Alright, Vinyl, I suppose the first thing we should do is open your cabinet and take inventory.”

“But… you’ve seen what is inside there right? It is just… filled with stuff.”

“I am aware of that,” I said, “But our goal is to make the cabinet be ‘not filled with stuff,’ and to do that we need to empty it and take inventory.”

“You’re going to have me open the cabinet though, aren’t you?”

I nodded my head, remembering the avalanche of records that came out the last time she opened it.

Vinyl sighed, muttering under her breath as she approached the cabinet. Taking several steps back, her horn began to glow and the cabinet’s latch was enveloped by her magical energies. The instant Vinyl managed to undo the lock, the doors flew open and a wave of records poured out of the cabinet, quickly burying Vinyl.

“You might need to invest in some more storage space,” I said, offering my hoof to her as she struggled to make her way out of her record collection.

“You think?”

I let out a sigh, “I assume this town has some sort of hardware store?”

Vinyl nodded. “Alright then, go there, buy some shelves and nails, and get back here. I will start work on organizing your rather considerable record collection.”

“Largest in Equestria,” she said, grinning happily as I helped pull her out of her record pile.

"Yes, well, while you are out I will start sorting through it," I looked over the mountain of albums, "If I am very lucky, I will be done by the time you get back."

Vinyl laughed as she walked out of the room, "I am sure it won't take you that long."

As promised, her record collection was quite extensive, and more than a few albums were completely unknown to me, although considering that I don't keep up with modern music, that fact was hardly surprising

The stacks of albums grew taller and taller, until I had to stand on my hind legs just to be able to add to the stack. Thankfully, Vinyl came home before too much longer and I decided I could focus on building the shelves while she worked on sorting.

“Did you find everything we needed?” I asked as she came back in to the room.

“Yeah, pretty much, I mean, I kind of got lost in the hardware store, so sorry if I kept you waiting for too long."

I smiled as I moved to pick up the supplies. “It's fine, I just finished sorting out all your records. The big stack is techno music, and I need you to go through and pick out the one hundred records you use the most in your concerts or performances or whatever you call your gigs."

"I usually just go with gigs," she said, nodding. Vinyl moved to sit down next to me and the shortest stack of albums started floating around us. A few records were set aside and the rest returned to the stack. I had been thinking that the job would take her an hour or so, instead it looked like she would probably be done with her task before I could get the first shelf up.

Still, I had promised Vinyl I would help her organize her room, and I intended to do so. Even if my help was almost wholly irrelevant. Several minutes later, I was about to start work nailing the first support in when Vinyl declared that she was ‘done.’

“What do you mean you are done?” I asked, as I started hammering in the first nail.

“I mean, I am done. I picked out my hundred favorite records like you asked.”

“But, it hasn’t even been five minutes.” I said as I finished hammering the first nail in and started trying to grasp the second nail in my hooves.

Vinyl gestured to her horn, “Yeah, but… you know, unicorn magic. Here, let me help you with that.” Before I could form an adequate response, she had wrapped her magic around both the nail and my hammer.

“I can handle it myself,” I said, wrenching the hammer away from her.

“But it will take you, like, an hour to finish putting those shelves up, and I can do it in less than ten minutes.”

“And you don’t think I am aware of that Vinyl? You don’t think I am aware of the fact that one unicorn can do the work of ten earth ponies without breaking a sweat? Believe me, I have been aware of that since I decided to become a musician. Most orchestras wouldn’t even consider hiring me because I lacked an academy education, and we both know that you have to be a unicorn to get an academy education. The only reason I was able to get my job with the Canterlot orchestra was because they occasionally hold open auditions to look out for new talent and I had to play twice as well as every other unicorn that auditioned to get hired.”

Objectively, I knew that it wasn’t Vinyl’s fault that Equestrian society was prejudiced in favor of unicorns, and I knew that she hadn’t intended to upset me, but unfortunately for her, she had managed to tap into a lifetime of pent-up frustration that had just been waiting for a chance to surface.

“And even then, most ponies treated me like some sort of novelty act, because obviously an earth pony could never learn to play a musical instrument properly." I changed my voice to mimic those of my detractors, "Yes, an earth pony might become proficient at a given musical instrument, but only a unicorn can display true mastery."

"But I did! I played my cello better than anypony else, and Canterlot was finally beginning to recognize that before your little pink friend managed to derail my career and get me sent here.” I slammed the hammer down on the ground in my anger, no longer particularly concerned about building a shelf.

My body shook with barely repressed rage as Vinyl moved to wrap her forelegs around me. "Hey, hey, it's alright," she said, "I didn't know it was such a big issue with you. If you want to take an hour nailing up that shelf, then that is fine with me." She kissed my cheek, "And I know you are a great cellist, and one day soon the rest of Equestria will wake up and realize that as well."

I smiled slightly at that, feeling my anger dissipate. "Thank you, and I am sorry for getting so upset with you, it's just, I am tired of being seen as inherently inferior to unicorns because I worked my flank off to achieve my mastery of the cello, and all I want is to have some recognition for it as opposed to being shunted off to Ponyville, so seeing how easy unicorn magic makes everything, well, it still has a bit of an effect on me."

Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, I kind of get it, I mean, as a unicorn, you don’t really think about how easy magic makes everything. To me, using my levitation magic to sort through all those albums just seemed like the simplest way of doing things, while for you, it must have made all that hard work you put in seem shallow and meaningless and call into question your very usefulness as a pony.”

I facehoofed, “As always Vinyl, you manage to surmise the problem with the least amount of tact possible. Remind me again why we are dating?”

“Because I am one of the few ponies in Equestria who will put up with your craziness and you are drawn to my flippant sensibilities.”

“Yes, well, I suppose your lack of tact is just part of your charm.” I moved to plant a kiss on my roommate’s cheek.

“Also,” Vinyl said as I pulled away from her, “You are just about as sweet as possible when you aren’t having a mental breakdown, so that is kind of nice.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, “It will be even better when I can go an entire day without freaking out about something.”

Vinyl tried to stifle her laugh, “You know I love you Tavi, but I kind of don’t think that’s possible.”

“Wait, what was that first thing?” I asked.

“I don’t think that’s possible,” she said.

“No, the bit before that, something about you loving me,” I said.

“Huh, nope, don’t really recall anything like that, you must be hearing things Tavi.”

Vinyl had definitely mentioned the word love, and a part of me wanted to press the issue, in fact, a very large part of me wanted to, but at the same time, thinking about the resulting conversation terrified me. Yes, I greatly enjoyed Vinyl’s company, and spending time with her almost always improved my mood. She was the first mare who genuinely cared about me, and even when I was at my absolute lowest, she did everything she could to help me, and I knew that no matter what the future held, Vinyl would be there to help me through it.

But on the other hoof, we had only known each other for eleven days and been dating for three. That seemed just a touch too fast to be proper. Then again, my more sentimental side responded, during those past eleven days, we had been living together and spent almost every waking minute with each other. The fact that we didn’t hate each other was unusual, and the fact that we actually liked each other was even more miraculous.

My mind chased itself about while Vinyl stared at me, the look of concern on her face growing with every passing second, “Are you okay Tavi, you’ve kind of just been staring off into space for the last minute.”

I shook my head, quickly coming out of my reverie, “My apologies Vinyl, your comment just got me thinking about our relationship.”

“Yeah,” she looked at me and tilted hear head, “Did you come up with anything?”

“Maybe,” I said, sitting down, “I realized that I am really very fond of you, to the point that I might classify my affection as ‘love,’ but I am really not sure.”

Vinyl let out a sigh, “Tavi, I am sorry if I freaked you out, you know how I can just say things without thinking about it, and I didn’t mean to freak you out, so let’s just pretend it never happened.”

“Did you mean it?” I said, looking at my marefriend.

“What do you mean did I mean it? Mean what?”

I rested my bad hoof against my forehead and furrowed my brow, “You said that you loved me earlier, and I am asking if you meant it.”

“Oh, well, yeah,” Vinyl said, rubbing the back of her neck, “I mean, of course, you are my best friend.”

If the matter hadn’t been so serious, I would have relished the opportunity to see my roommate squirm. Instead, it only managed to increase my annoyance.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” I said, “You are being intentionally evasive, and coming from you, that is rather unexpected.”

“I am not,” she said, “It’s just that… well, maybe…”

As the previous entries can attest, I am not the best mare when it comes to understanding social situations. My usual modus operandi when dealing with the unexpected consists of me alienating everypony around me and shoving my hoof so far down my mouth I run the risk of devouring myself. Still, at that moment, seeing the fear in my roommate’s eyes, I understood. I understood the feelings of doubt and worry that were, at the moment, consuming the most important mare in my life. A part of her wished to open up with me, but at the same time, she worried that doing so would inadvertently offend me and damage our relationship, or perhaps I was just projecting, and the truth was substantially different.

Either way, that theory informed my next action, my incredibly idiotic action. “I love you too,” I said, “I know we have only known each other for a few weeks and only been dating properly for a couple of days, but during that time, you’ve managed to become the most important pony in my life. A part of my mind is always thinking about you, and the time I spend with you is always my favorite part of the day. And it’s not just that you make me happy, you help me even when I am at my lowest point. Like yesterday, when I was having one of my mental breakdowns, you didn’t abandon me or reprimand me, you held me until I was able to regain my composure and assured me that everything was going to be alright. Actually, that was when I first knew I loved you; I just… didn’t want to say anything because I thought it might be too soon.”

Vinyl tilted her head and stared at me, and my newly found confidence began to evaporate. “Anyways, I’ve probably made a complete foal out of myself now, and if I’ve gone and shoved my hoof in my mouth, I’m really very sorry. In hindsight, my declaration of love was really quite improper and—”

Before I could say any more, Vinyl had brought her hoof up to my mouth and silenced me, “Tavi, what you just said was absolutely perfect, don’t ruin it with a bunch of half-felt apologies.”

She rested her head against my neck, careful not to poke me with her horn, “I love you, as well, it’s just, I don’t think I ever told anypony that before, and… I don’t know.”

I laughed and wrapped my forehooves around her, “Careful Vinyl, you are starting to sound like me.”

“Celestia forbid that happens, I don’t think Equestria could handle two of you,” Vinyl said, returning the laugh, “I wanted to tell you though, it’s just, when I thought of what might happen if you didn’t feel the same way, I started freaking out.”

I couldn’t resist the urge to smile, “Well then, it’s a good thing you are dating one of the few mares in Equestria who is very well versed in pointless anxiety attacks.”

The two of us stood there for several moments, resting our heads against each other. I reveled in the sensation of my partner’s fur against mine, as my nose drank in her scent. Just as I thought the moment couldn’t get any better, I felt a light kiss placed upon my neck, and I quickly moved to return the favor. Her coat left a slight minty taste in my mouth, and I was eager to experience it again. Another kiss quickly followed the first, and soon enough we were lost in the other’s presence, every thought and act bent towards experiencing the other in the fullest. Our bodies moved towards each other, our forelegs bound us tightly together, and our heart’s beat in rhythm. For us, the outside universe ceased to exist and…

And after that, events became deeply personal, and I feel no need to leave them here so that anypony can peruse them at their leisure. Suffice it to say, the two of us spent the remainder of the day (and a majority of the night) laying in Vinyl’s DJtorium, amongst the piles of scattered records and sound equipment, lost in the other’s company. Apparently, one can, in fact, have a good day in Ponyville.

Day 13

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To everything there is a cost, an inherent balance to the universe that makes the negative events more palatable and serves to humble us at the moments of our greatest victory. In my case, after spending a very lovely evening with Vinyl, I awoke suddenly remembering why sleeping on a hardwood floor is a very unpleasant idea. I rolled over several times, trying to find a position that wouldn’t exacerbate my sore back. Unfortunately, my tossing and turning had the side effect of waking up my roommate.

Vinyl groaned. “Not now, it’s too early,” she turned to roll away from me.

“I’m sorry, Vinyl, I was just trying to resituate myself, I didn’t mean to disturb you.”

She turned back to face me and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes with one forehoof while the other found its way around my barrel. “Oh hey,” she planted a light kiss on my cheek, “Did you just get up?”

I nodded my head, “Apparently, my body vehemently rejected the idea of sleeping on the floor amongst your records.” As if to emphasize my point, a stack of records chose that moment to fall over and bury one of my legs.

“Oh really,” she smiled, “I didn’t think it was that terrible, and it seemed like you were enjoying yourself as well.”

I had no choice but to return the smile, “Let me clarify then, when I was conscious, the night was wonderful. It was only when I was sleeping that any issues between my back and the floor arose.”

“So then, what do you want to do today?” She asked, “Lay around a bit more?”

“I would love to,” I said, “But if I have to spend another minute on this floor I think I might go insane. At the very least, I don’t think my back could ever forgive me.”

“Well, we could always move over to my bed,” Vinyl said.

“Did that mold monster ever grow back?”

“You mean Moldy? Yeah, he was pretty upset about you almost killing him, but it was nothing that an offering of pizza wouldn’t fix.”

My brow furrowed, as I was unable to tell whether or not Vinyl was joking, “Please tell me you didn’t give an offering to the mold in your room.”

“What?” Vinyl said, “I didn’t want my two roommates fighting.”

“Vinyl, it’s mold. It’s not sentient, and it needs to be destroyed.”

“Tavi, that’s just racist, after all your talk about how earth ponies are constantly discriminated against, I can’t believe you’d be so quick to judge a giant blob of sentient mold.”

I really wanted to point out that her reasoning was fallacious, but unfortunately was unable to think of any objections. “Fine, I might have been a bit hasty when it came to judging the giant blob of mold currently living in your bedroom.”

“Good, now I won’t be having you two meet today because Moldy is still upset about the… you know, attempted murder.”

“You aren’t telling me it can talk are you?”

“Yeah, of course it can talk, I mean, how else would I know it was upset?”

Nope, no, there was no giant talking mold blob in Vinyl’s room, this was just some sort of joke on Vinyl’s part. A very poor joke. Because having a sentient mold monster living in your bedroom is just… That is crossing the line of what I am willing to believe exists in a sane reality, even accepting Ponyville’s certain peculiarities.

“That… let’s just go to my bedroom, shall we? We wouldn’t want to disturb Moldy.”

“Whatever you say, Tavi,” Vinyl said, getting up on her hooves.

I followed suit, careful not to disturb the room any more than I already had. Unfortunately, my plan to spend the morning in bed with Vinyl was interrupted be as a knocking came from downstairs before we could reach the bedroom.

“I wonder who that could be,” I wondered, stopping my trot to my room.

“Come on Tavi, whatever it is, I’m sure it can wait. Besides, it is too early to be dealing with other ponies.”

“Now Vinyl, the start of a romance, no matter how wonderful it is, is no reason to shirk our social responsibilities. Somepony downstairs might need our assistance, and denying them our aid would be selfish.”

Vinyl groaned, “Why does my marefriend have to be so fussy and particular?”

“Because,” I said flatly, “You need somepony fussy and particular to keep you from cultivating sentient mold monsters in your former bedroom.”

“Wait, former bedroom?” She asked as we headed downstairs.

I nodded my head, “Obviously I am not about to let somepony I care about sleep in a room that is so… revolting, and since you refuse to let me clean it, you will just have to sleep in my room from now on.” It seems I learned quite a bit about making a win-win scenario from my time spent with Rarity.

“Well,” Vinyl said, “When you put it like that, how can I say no.”

“Glad that you see reason,” I said as we reached the downstairs landing, “Now, let’s find out who decided to bother us at…” I checked the clock mounted on the wall, “One in the afternoon.” I had stayed up far too late last night.

Mentally chastising myself for my own slothfulness, I sighed and opened the door, to find a very surprised Bon Bon now knocking on thin air. “Oh, hello Octavia, I had been out here for so long I was starting to think you were out on business. Is Vinyl up yet?”

I nodded, opening the door wider to reveal my roommate. “You will have to excuse me, we both slept in rather late this morning and were only just waking up when you knocked. Please, come in.”

Bon Bon smiled at that, and I felt the old urge to correct her line of thinking, although in this instance, whatever she was imagining was absolutely completely correct. If I was lucky, only half of the town would have an update about on our relationship before sundown.

“Thank you,” she said, accepting my invitation into the house, before turning to face my roommate.

“Vinyl, you’ve always been… no, let me start over. You and Lyra are…” She frowned, unable to think of a coherent response.

“Take your time, Bon Bon,” I said, sympathetic towards the pony’s inability to speak coherently.

“It’s…” She paused again and took a deep breath, “I am going to propose to Lyra at Anthrocon and since you are her friends, I would appreciate it if you came with us to celebrate.”

Vinyl was positively beaming, “You are finally going to tie the knot? Of course I will go with you to celebrate, although if you want to be alone when you pop the question, I will be more than happy to get out of your hair for a bit.”

I felt obligated to come and support my friends, especially considering Lyra’s support of the orchestra, but on the other hoof, I really didn’t want to something called Anthrocon.

Bon Bon turned to face me, “What about you Octavia? I know you just moved here, but we both consider you to be a dear friend and would be positively delighted if you could accompany us.”

Oh, playing the friendship card, that’s just… low. How is any decent pony supposed to raise an objection? “When you put it like that,” I said, doing my best to smile magnanimously and not grimace, “How could I possibly say no?”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she said, “I hope you don’t mind that I already purchased your ticket and taken care of your room reservations. We will be staying in the Maritrot next to the convention center and obviously the two of you will have your own room.” She winked conspiratorially, “Although I hope you don’t mind that you will have to share the bed.”

Apparently a pony can have 90% of the blood in their body rush to their head and still survive. Vinyl noticed my discomfort and immediately moved into reassurance mode, “It’s alright Tavi, you’re among friends, there is no need to freak out.”

I took a few seconds to collect myself before responding, “I am aware of that Vinyl, and I thank you for trying to calm me, but I don’t feel like I am going to have one of my panic attacks. In fact,” I said, taking another steadying breath, “I think I am fine at the moment. Don’t get me wrong, I am still slightly embarrassed, but I don’t think this will push me over the edge.”

Vinyl and Bon Bon blinked in shock, “Really?” Vinyl asked after a few seconds.

“Yes, Vinyl, you’re acting like I am on the verge of falling to pieces at any given second.”

“Well,” Vinyl said, “I mean, I love you and all, but you do tend to freak out about like… anything.”

“That… I understand I have some issues I need to work past, but I am not going to fly off the handle at the drop of a hat.”

“Alright, I am sorry,” Vinyl said, moving to kiss the spot on my neck that, as we discovered last night, makes my left leg twitch slightly. If the feeling wasn’t ever so delightful, I would have been irritated at her for displaying such affection in front of Bon Bon. As it was, I was willing to let this violation of decorum slide as Bon Bon was a dear friend and the kiss was far too pleasant for me to care. I have only been in a proper relationship for two days and I am already acting like a common trollop. While I do love Vinyl, the fear that being in a relationship will start to change some fundamental aspect of my nature has been lurking in the shadows of my consciousness for quite some time.

But all those thoughts were academic, at the moment, I was quite content to let my marefriend kiss me while a dear friend looked on. Finally, Vinyl ended the kiss and pulled away and I was able to regain my senses.

“That… you… public…” Mostly regain my senses.

“You are going to have to use sentences Tavi, I can’t understand random words.”

I blinked a few times, as my brain struggled to form coherent sentences. “I… are you sure such a display of affection is appropriate in front of company?”

“Oh no, you’re fine dear,” Bon Bon said, waving a hoof dismissively, “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Well then,” I said, chuckling uneasily, “Thank you for inviting us to Anthrocon, and feel free to visit us anytime you feel so inclined.”

“Of course,” she said, “And thank you again for letting Lyra into the orchestra.”

“I didn’t let her in,” I said, “Lyra earned her spot in the orchestra by being an absolutely amazing lyre player.”

“Right, sorry, it’s just that ever since you accepted her into the orchestra she has been spending her time playing the lyre in the study as opposed to doing her research in the basement.” Bon Bon smiled at me, “Personally, I prefer the house being filled with music as opposed to Lyra’s mumbling.”

I returned the smile, “Then I am happy I could help. Would you like to have breakfast with us?”

She shook her head, “Sorry, I had breakfast before noon, and if I am out here too long Lyra is sure to come around wondering what happened to me, and that might lead to her asking questions and unraveling the whole surprise, so… I will see you later.”

At that, she quickly walked out of the house, leaving Vinyl and I to stare at each other.

“So…” I said, my brain struggling to process the events that had just happened, “Bon Bon is proposing to Lyra, I am going to something called Anthrocon, and I slept in until past noon.” I probably should have focused more on the first piece of news, but at the moment I was more concerned with what Anthrocon might entail.

“Yeah, isn’t it great?” Vinyl asked, “I’ve been waiting for one of them to pop the question for years, but since Bon Bon’s parents are kind of conservative about the whole fillyfooling thing, Lyra thought it best to give Bon Bon her space and let her do the proposing and stuff. Ooh! I wonder if Bon Bon’s parents will be at the wedding, I haven’t met them yet.”

“Oh yes… it’s wonderful,” I said, “Now about Anthrocon, what is that usually like? I am guessing a majority of the mares and stallions there have the social graces of… well, me, but sans my impeccable hygiene, grooming, and wit.”

“First of all, are you more concerned about the fact that you are going to Anthrocon than you are that our friends are getting engaged, and second of all, when did you get so full of yourself?”

“To answer the first question, of course not, but the details of the engagement seem largely out of my hooves, while I am more than capable of gathering information on Anthrocon, and to answer the second question, I am not, but I do try to maintain a semblance of social poise to mitigate the rest of my social shortcoming. I might not be excellent when it comes to relating to normal ponies or maintaining healthy relationships, but I like to think that I have mastered social propriety and the art of small talk. At the very least, I know how to groom myself, unlike some of those… marefillies.”

Vinyl glared at me, “Didn’t we JUST have a talk about not discriminating against ponies based on pre-existing notions.”

“Yes, but…”

“No buts, if you don’t want ponies to judge you for being an earth pony, you need give them a fair chance as well.”

Dammit Vinyl, what is the point of me opening up to you if you will use it against me at a later date?

I sighed, “Alright, but I still don’t know how I will amuse myself at the convention.”

“Well,” she said, “You can follow me around while I do… DJ-ey things, maybe they will let me play at Anthropalooza again this year, it’s a little late, but DJ-Pon3 is always in demand. That reminds me, I gotta write them a letter today and see if they need any entertainment.”

“And if I don’t want to be deafened?” I asked.

She tapped her hoof against her chin, “Hmm, I suppose you could go to one of the lounges where ponies just sit and talk.”

“About humans.”

“Yeah, but… I mean… there is other stuff going on, there are a lot of cool ponies at Anthrocon.”

“Fine, I will put my best hoof forwards as I have been proven wrong before. For instance, the hootenanny the other day was rather enjoyable. Besides, I can probably just go to a bar outside of the convention center if- when the talk about humans gets overwhelming.”

She nodded, “All I ask is that you give it a chance.”

We moved to the kitchen, and I sat down at the table while Vinyl went about preparing our breakfast, “So, what do you want? I am thinking some Trot-Tarts would really hit the spot right about now.”

She levitated a box of the colorful pastries out of her kitchen cabinet and I stifled the urge to roll my eyes. Of course she had a breakfast food commonly marketed towards fillies, because my marefriend had the sensibilities of a five-year old, which said volumes of unfortunate things about me. “I will pass on the Trot-Tarts, although an apple Danish would really hit the spot right now.”

“I have Danish-flavored Trot-Tarts,” Vinyl said.

“Fine, I will try some of your Trot-Tarts, I suppose there is a first time for everything.”

“Wait,” Vinyl said, pulling the silver wrappers, “You never had Trot-Tarts before? Like, not even when you were a little kid?”

I shook my head, “My parents wouldn’t allow me to eat such common fare when I was growing up, and after they kicked me out I had no interest in a foal’s food.”

“Then you absolutely need to have some today, do you want them heated up or not?”

“Hmm, what would you recommend?” I asked as she opened up the silver packaging.

“Gotta go with room temp then,” she said, sliding the two pastries in the package towards me, “Eat up.”

I picked up the first pastry with one hoof, and took a small nibble out of one of the corners of the confection. It was far far too sweet, and the sugar overwhelmed the taste of the almost certainly artificial apple flavoring. Still, it left me wanting more for some reason, and I quickly devoured the pastries.

“They are good,” I said after a moment’s deliberation, “Completely horrendous and artificial, and I feel like a worse pony for having eaten them, but they have a pleasant enough taste, I can see why you like them.”

“See,” she said, elbowing me, “You try new things and they might surprise you. Maybe you will wind up liking Anthrocon.”

“Maybe,” I said, in an attempt to appease her, “I doubt it, but like I said, I will at least make an effort.”

“Attagirl,” she leaned in and gave me a quick peck on the cheek, “I can’t ask that you enjoy everything I like, but I do ask that you give it a chance.”

“Fair enough, just remember to return the favor when I am trying to convince you to attend the opera with me.”

“Ugh,” Vinyl said, with an overly dramatic sigh, “If it will get you to loosen up then I guess I can go and tighten up a bit… or whatever you want to call it.”

“Who knows,” I said, “You might even find yourself enjoying life’s more… sophisticated pursuits.”

“Doubtful,” she said, taking a bite out of her own Trot-Tarts, “But if you can learn to like Trot-Tarts then I might grow to like haute cuisine, those hay frites were pretty tasty.”

“Vinyl, we went over this already, hay frites do not constitute haute cuisine, they are what tourists order in Prance because they are too afraid to try anything that deviates from the norm.”

“So then what should I order the next time we go to eat out at a fancy restaurant?”

I sighed again, “They will have something that appeals to your tastes while still being proper cuisine. The next time we are at that restaurant, I will make a recommendation.”

“Alright, fine,” she said, finishing her Trot-Tarts, “But you are going to Anthrocon right?”

I nodded.

“And you will try to have a good time?”

More nodding

“And when Bon Bon proposes to Lyra we will be there to celebrate?”

“Of course, the only reason I even considered going to Anthrocon was so I could support my friends. How can you think I wouldn’t?”

“Well,” she shrugged, “You are Tavi. Sometimes, you do stupid things in the name of propriety.”

“That’s hardly fair,” I said, “Yes, I have a habit of doing stupid things in social situations but I would never do anything to disappoint one of my friends. I hold the preservation of those few relationships I have to be paramount on my list of priorities, and I would appreciate it if you would stop reminding me of all my past social failures. It hardly seems like the proper thing to do in a relationship.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Vinyl said, “I mean, I don’t mean to chastise you, but at the same time, you’ve made such amazing progress, I don’t want to see you backslide.”

“Vinyl, you are beginning to describe me like I am some sort of project. Please tell me that’s not the case.”

“No, of course you aren’t just a project to me, you are this mare who is super uptight and kind of crazy but really absolutely beautiful once you get past all of that, I just want the rest of Equestria to see it too.

I smiled and kissed the cheek that wasn’t obscured by her electric blue hair, “I thank you for trying to keep me in check, but my obsessive formality and even a bit of my madness are very much a core to my identity. You’re right that they shouldn’t be used to drive other ponies away, but they will always be a part of me, and I hope you accept them.”

She nodded and let out a small sigh, “I know, I mean, you wouldn’t be Tavi if you weren’t like… crazy uptight, I just want you to be able to try new things and not assume that everything that isn’t high-class is bad.”

I thought over her statement for a few seconds, trying to sort out whether she had used a double or triple-negative and decode her meaning before I responded, “That sounds acceptable, and you know what, when do you have your next concert?”

“If by concert, you mean gig, then tonight at 8:00.”

“Alright then,” I said, “I will join you at the festivities. Assuming you won’t mind having a mare of refined taste in attendance.”

Vinyl laughed, “Sure, and I promise I won’t go around telling the ponies in Canterlot that you secretly listen to DJ-Pon3 in your spare time.”

I smiled as I got to my hooves, “Then I am very much obliged, now if I am not mistaken, I need to go and help Rarity at her shop, I am sure she is quite busy designing costumes for fillies and colts.”

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, moving to follow me, “And the rest of Ponyville.”

I must admit, my knowledge of Nightmare Night customs is rather limited. Spending your youth in the only city in Equestria where Nightmare Night is banned will do that to most anypony. Then, when I finally did get out of Manehattan, I decided I was much too old to be dealing with such foalish frivolities, and so I generally ignored Nightmare Night, choosing to stay in my apartment and practice while the foals had their fun. Although, I did make the smallest of concessions towards the holiday by leaving a bowl of candy outside my door. So the very notion that grown mares and stallions would celebrate a holiday I had previously assumed was only for children was quite jarring, but I managed to take the news with grace and decorum, and I certainly didn’t burst out laughing uncontrollably for several minutes.

“Are you done yet?” Vinyl asked after my fit of laughter had subsided.

“Hold on a second,” I said, raising one forehoof up in the air, “It’s just… I never really imagined or expected grown adults to celebrate a foal’s holiday.”

“Well,” she said, as we headed out on to the street towards Rarity’s shop, “It’s not a foal’s holiday, it’s a holiday for everypony to gather around and be terrorized by Nightmare Moon, or the old idea of her at least.”

“Wait a minute,” I said, finally conquering my laughter, “How exactly does Princess Luna feel about this. I can’t imagine she would be too thrilled about everypony being terrified of her because of one mistake she made a millennium ago.”

Vinyl nodded, “Yeah, she wasn’t that wild about it when she came to visit two years ago, but she eventually got into the spirit of the holiday?”

“The spirit of the holiday?” I asked.

“You know, enjoying being scared and letting all the craziness just taking you where it will. I mean, it’s Nightmare Night, are you sure you never did anything to celebrate.”

I nodded my head, “I’m absolutely positive, Manehattan doesn’t celebrate Nightmare Night and when I left the city, I felt I was far too old to celebrate the holiday.”

“Wow, why doesn’t Manehattan celebrate Nightmare Night?” Vinyl asked as we walked to Rarity’s.

“It’s a rather long story,” I started, “But to summarize, the city was attacked by Luna at the start of the rebellion before Celestia could adequately martial her forces. When Celestia’s forces had arrived, the entire city was purged. The few survivors had fled to the harbor during the attack, and spent centuries rebuilding. However, we never allowed ourselves to forget the Lunar Rebellion, and any celebration of Nightmare Night was deemed disrespectful to our ancestors who gave their lives fighting her.”

“Wow,” Vinyl said, “That is kind of… I am guessing Luna still isn’t that popular in Manehattan then?”

I shrugged, “I am not particularly sure as I haven’t returned to the city since I left, although I hope Manehattanites will forgive her. Nightmare Moon is not the same as Princess Luna, and we can’t hold the actions of the one against the other.” Of course, that calm and reasoned assessment had nothing to do with my general affection and adoration for the Princess of the Night, nor did it have anything to do with the fact that she was my current employer.

“Stil—” I was interrupted as a familiar pink pony suddenly bounced into my field of vision, her eyes locked with mine.

“Hey Tavi, did you hear the news? Huh, did ya?” While I do count Miss Pie as a friend, I prefer having time to mentally prepare myself for any dealings with her.

“Why, I have no idea what you refer to Miss Pie, could you be slightly more specific?”

“Yeppoorooni,” she said, “You see, I was talking to Applejack today, and we were talking about family reunions, and she got to talking about her Auntie Apple Pie, that is Granny Smith’s sister, and I thought, ‘that’s funny, I had a Granny named Apple Pie,’ so we got to talking more about her, and it turns out her Auntie Apple pie is my Granny Pie, which means I am a cousin to one of my best friends—”

If she and Applejack were cousins then that would mean… oh no.

“Then she said, ‘well ain’t that just a hoot, Fiddlesticks was talkin’ to me just the other day and it turns out that fancy new cellist lady is a kin to us by way of the Oranges,’ so I took in this big gasp of air, like this,” she repeated the action, “Because that would mean—”

Oh no. Please dear, sweet, merciful Celestia please don’t let this play out like I think it will.

“That I am not related to just one of my best friends, but two—”

Absolutely not.

“Because the two of us are—”

Please… no.

“Cousins! But we are practically like sisters, we are sister cousins! Isn’t that exciting?”

I let out a piteous whimper.

“That’s great, Pinkie,” Vinyl said while patting me on the back reassuringly, “I think Tavi needs some time to process this news.”

“Okey dokey lokey,” the pink pony said before bouncing off, while I sputtered and stammered ineffectively.

“You alright, Tavi?” She asked, still patting me on the back.

“I… guh… family?”

“Yeah, but I mean, you are pretty distantly related, you probably don’t have any of her… crazier traits.”

“Yay,” I muttered under my breath.

“Anyways, you still want to go to Rarity’s or do you want to go back to our house to cope?”

“No,” I said, finally regaining my voice, “I think spending time at Rarity’s will serve as the best therapy. Besides, I am a mare of my word.”

“Well then, if you’re sure, let’s keep going, and hey, if Pinkie is in your family tree then she will probably get you just… a super awesome birthday present, I mean, she gets everypony awesome birthday presents so…”

I nodded my head, happy to listen to my roommate talk as we walked before finally arriving at Carousel Boutique. The place was positively swarmed with ponies, milling about and looking through the costumes Rarity had put on display.

“Ah, you made it,” Rarity said, moving over to embrace Vinyl and I, “And just in time, the shop has been absolutely packed all day, and I haven’t had a moment to work on the few commissioned costumes I haven’t yet managed to put the finishing touches on. I was planning on taking care of it tonight, but if you can help mind the selling floor, I might be able to get some sleep tonight.”

“Hey, speaking of costumes,” Vinyl said, before Rarity cut her off.

“You requested the spacemare costume, correct?”

Vinyl nodded as the fashionista levitated a suit over towards my roommate, “Is this about what you had in mind?”

“Yeah,” she said, appraising the incredibly shiny outfit, “Looks great, gonna be a real scream this Nightmare Night.”

“Glad to hear it, darling,” Rarity said, “And thank you for paying in advances, your twenty bits were greatly appreciated.”

“Wait, twenty bits?” I asked, “That seems rather cheap considering the quality of materials you used.”

“Yes, the twenty bits barely covers the cost of materials, but I always say that everypony deserves to have a wonderful Nightmare Night costume. Do you have a costume planned out yet, or will I have another last minute commission?”

“I actually don’t celebrate Nightmare Night,” I said as Rarity gasped dramatically.

“Yeah, she is kind of weird about it, apparently Manehattan doesn’t celebrate the holiday, and then she figured she was too old to celebrate it when she got to Canterlot.”

“But my dear, one is never too old to celebrate Nightmare Night. The holiday has something for mares and stallions of all ages, and of course, it doesn’t hurt that the days leading up to the holiday are some of the busiest days I have in the shop.”

“Well, that’s wonderful,” I said, “But even if I wanted to celebrate the holiday this year,” I wasn’t, “I am much too busy working to prepare the orchestra to take time off to celebrate the holiday. The next few weeks are going to be rather trying.” Although I could take time off to help friends and need and go all the way to Anthrocon. My reluctance certainly had nothing to do with the fact that I really didn’t want to break my twenty year streak of not celebrating Nightmare Night. Besides, I would most likely be too preoccupied doing whatever I had to do to deal with Discord to properly celebrate the holiday (Assuming his earlier statements weren’t just some joke).

Rarity let out another one of her laughs, “Of course darling, now I must be getting back to work, you can work the register right?”

I nodded my head and moved towards the register, with Vinyl following along behind me.

“Hey Tavi,” she said, after I reached the register, “I am going to go get ready for my show tonight, I’ll see you later?”

“Of course,” I said, smiling at her.

“Great, see you at the show.” Before I could form a suitable response, she had swooped in and planted a kiss on my neck, while I worked to keep my back leg from involuntarily kicking. Yes, I should have objected to her kissing me in public, but again, my brain was unable to marshal an objection. I mentally chastised myself for acting like such a harlot in public.

“Alright, I will see you there,” I said as my roommate pulled away and trotted towards the door. Around me, none of the ponies that witnessed our public display of affection seemed to have reacted negatively or even noticed. Perhaps such displays were tolerated in Ponyville, or perhaps they were whispering about Vinyl and I already. They had already taken bets about when the two of us would start dating, the idea that they would discuss the more intimate details of our romantic life did not strike me as inconceivable.

Thankfully, I had never had the distinct… pleasure of working a retail job before. Most of my minutes behind the counter blurred together, one interminable minute following the other, as I contemplated the idea of bashing my head against the nearest solid surface until all conscious thought left me. Occasionally, we would break from the tedium so that I could deal with a truly unbearable customer.

“Excuse me,” an unfamiliar turquoise earth pony said, “I ordered the princess costume for my daughter, the order is under Spring Bloom.”

I checked the records and found the order, “Of course,” I said, “Just give me a second and I will go get your costume.”

“Well, my daughter changed her mind, she doesn’t want to be a princess anymore.”

This… this probably would not end well. I had only been working in retail for about an hour, but I had already learned to despise any customers who wished to change their order. Still, I smiled and kept my voice even, “Well, Miss Rarity has designed a wide assortment of non-commissioned costumes for last minute purchases, I am sure she will find something that catches her fancy.”

The mare shook her head, “My little darling wants to be Daring Do, and we can’t find a single one in stock. So Rarity’ll just have to make a new one.”

Huh, that was funny; my eye was beginning to twitch, “You do understand that we are just two days from Nightmare Night, and Rarity is already busy enough designing costumes that were commissioned in advance? There simply isn’t enough time for her to craft a Daring Do costume before Friday.”

“Oh, so you speak for Rarity now? Does she know her hired help is speaking to the customer with such a condescending tone?”

Ah righteous fury, it has been so long since I had a suitable target to bear the brunt of my ire. Still, I would hate to damage Rarity’s business even if the customer very much deserved everything I could throw at them. “I understand your frustration miss, but I am sure we can reach a suitable compromise.”

“You want to tell a paying customer what they can and can’t have? Who the hay do you think you are? My baby wants to be Daring Do this Nightmare Night and I am not going to tell her that some snobby little clerk with a stupid Hoofington accent ruined her dreams.”

There was a time for diplomacy and a time for verbal annihilation, I smiled, “Miss Bloom, it seems you are laboring under a few misconceptions, misconceptions I hope to clear up for you. The first one is that I am a simple clerk. A perfectly understandable mistake as I am standing behind a cash register and taking orders like a clerk, however, I am only helping Rarity out because she is a very dear friend of mine who would move Equestria to help a pony in need. The rest of my time I am employed by Princess Luna to form the Royal Ponyville Orchestra, and have regular correspondences with both Luna and Princess Twilight Sparkle.”

The sight of the blood draining from her face was ever so satisfying, and I pressed on, “The second misconception of yours is that you think it is okay to talk to anypony like you were speaking to me. I don’t care how well off you are, but you really should treat everypony with a basic modicum of respect. Not only is it the proper and polite thing to do, but the way you treat ponies you see as beneath you speaks volumes about your character. Finally, you seem to believe that everypony is obligated to cater to your whims and that Rarity is somehow obligated to design a new costume for your daughter just two days before Nightmare Night. Now, I am more than happy to call Rarity down here, explain everything that has transpired, and then let her decide whether or not she will work on your daughter’s new costume, or you can take the princess costume, pay your twenty bits, and teach your daughter some valuable lesson about how the world works. The choice is yours.”

To my great shock, Miss Bloom decided to pay her twenty bits and sheepishly walk out of the boutique. I permitted myself to smile until the next customer, a pink unicorn filly who walked around wearing a diamond tiara, approached.

“Are you looking to finish off your princess costume?” I asked.

“Puh-lease, everypony is dressing up as a princess, my daddy commissioned a cyborg costume for me.”

I tried to smile, “I am sorry, the tiara just led me to believe that…” I noticed her cutie mark was also a diamond tiara. “You know what, never mind.”

“Whatever,” she said, “Anyways, I don’t know why Daddy is shopping here, this shop is owned by that stupid blank flank’s sister.”

That, okay, yes, she was rude, but she was still a paying customer. Perhaps a minor reprimand would be suitable. “There’s nothing wrong with not having discovered your special talent. It took me quite some time to discover the cello.”

She snorted, “Those dumb ponies are probably going to spend their entire lives without a talent, just messing up everything they do.”

“Well,” I said, still smiling, “Perhaps you could enlighten them by telling them how you earned your cutie mark in… what is your special talent?”

“It… my talent is…”

“Wearing a diamond tiara?” I asked, filling in for her.

“No! It’s… my talent is…”

I smiled at her patiently, waiting for her to come up with a response. “Take your time.”

She reached into her saddlebag and tossed her bits at me, “Just… give me my costume.”

“Of course,” I said, turning to grab the cyborg costume, and noting it was commissioned for one “Diamond Tiara.” So her name, cutie mark, and favored article of clothing were the same thing and she complained about other ponies lacking a special talent? Did I detect the faint whiff of insecurity? Miss Tiara grabbed her cyborg costume and ran off, “Please have a wonderful day.”

After that, things went back to being far less interesting, or at least I stopped caring so much about the few terrible customers I had to deal with. Mostly respectable ponies asked me for a costume, they gave me bits, I gave them their costume, and then went back to contemplating how terrible it would be to do this job every day. Worse yet, some ponies had a special talent in retail sales. While I suppose it might be possible for an extroverted pony to enjoy helping the very worst of equinity every day, the job was not for me, and I made a mental note to generously tip the next waiter or waitress I met. Several hours, or lifetimes later, the shop finally closed and I was alone with Rarity.

“So,” I said as she moved switched the sign in her shop from open to closed, “I feel that went… slightly better than last time.”

“What are you talking about, dear? Today was marvelous, I finished off all of my costumes and might actually be able to celebrate Nightmare Night this year. I really can’t find anything to complain about.”

I laughed, “That’s because you didn’t have to work retail.”

She returned the laugh, “I suppose you’re right, darling. Are you sure I can’t interest you in a Nightmare Night costume. It would be my gift to you.” Her eyes twinkled.

“I am absolutely certain, Rarity, but I thank you for the offer.”

“Well then,” she said, “I simply must have you and Vinyl over sometime. I will get out my best bottle of wine and you can tell me how you are finding Ponyville.”

“That sounds lovely,” I said, “I am sure Vinyl will be more than happy to join me, but I’m afraid it can’t be tonight as I promised I would go to one of her… ‘gigs.’”

Rarity laughed at that, “Oh dear, that sounds like it will be quite the… experience for you.”

I nodded, “It’s not exactly my idea of a wonderful evening, but I hear that it’s important to support the ponies who are dear to you, so I thought I might as well make an effort. Besides, it can’t be that horrible compared to the other things I have faced in this down. It certainly won’t be worse than what happened last week.”

We both agreed with that sentiment, and I felt a tingle of dread run down my spine. “At least, it shouldn’t be.” I hastily added, “Of course, there is still a very outside possibility that something terrible will happen.”

Her eyes narrowed as she appraised me, “Octavia, darling, are you all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” I said, “I just hate tempting fate, especially while still inside Ponyville.”

“I understand your concern dear, Vinyl explained it to me the other day, but don’t you feel you are overreacting a touch?”

I glared at her. “No.”

“Of course, would you like me to accompany you to Vinyl’s party?”

“I’m fine,” I said, shaking my head, “But I thank you for offering.”

“Well then,” she said, “I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. I believe wine will be a wonderful way to celebrate the orchestra’s first performance.”

“Yes, and if things go poorly,” which they will, I mentally added, “I can drown my sorrows.”

Rarity laughed, “Octavia dear, you really do need to think positive. The world isn’t out to get you.”

Although I had twelve diary entries that spoke to the contrary, I nodded my head and told Rarity that I would work on it. To her credit, the last few days had been rather wonderful even if it was in spite of this town’s best efforts. After a few more minutes of conversation, I nodded my head at her and trotted out the door before realizing that I had absolutely no idea where I was going.

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath as I looked around the town. The streets were empty and a chill wind was blowing through the air. A list of possible party locations ran through my mind, I knew the party was being hosted by Pinkie Pie, but that didn’t help me deduce WHERE she was throwing the party.

As I wandered Ponyville’s desolate streets, an idea entered my mind. While I might not be able to find the location of the party, I could find somepony who knew where the party was but was unlikely to attend herself. Unfortunately, that other pony was one of Equestria’s ruling Princesses, and might take issue with my using her as a glorified map. Still, I would rather risk earning her ire than disappointing Vinyl (Because supporting my marefriend is well worth the risk of upsetting one of the four rulers of Equestria… somehow).

I knocked on the door of Twilight’s palace/library/tree, and her dragon opened the door. “Oh, hey Tavi, are you looking for Twilight?”

I nodded.

“Sorry, she’s not here at the moment, she’s off at Pinkie’s block party. I’m kind of surprised you’re not there right now, like the entire town is there.”

I sighed, “I am aware of that, and am trying to find out where the block party is. Is there any chance you can point me in the right direction?”

“Yeah, sure, just head on the apartment complex on the east side of town.”

“Apartment complex?”

He nodded, “I know, Ponyville doesn’t look like the type of town that would have an apartment complex, and I guess they aren’t REALLY apartments, but they are the closest thing Ponyville has.”

I thanked the dragon for his help and walked towards the east side of town. Strangely enough, although I lived on the east side of town and was somewhat familiar with the towns environs, I had never noticed any buildings that even remotely resembled an apartment. Most of the town’s east side seemed to consist of the town homes similar to my current dwelling. There were several very long two story buildings, and they were divided into individual units that ponies called home. The houses were certainly close together, but I wouldn’t consider them apartments. Perhaps the complex was on the outskirts of town.

As I walked to the eastern side of town, I caught myself shivering. I decided that Vinyl probably wouldn’t be too terribly upset if I stopped by the house to put on a light coat to better shield myself from the mid-autumn weather, especially since Spike (That was the dragon’s name, correct?) indicated that the party would be outside.

Walking back to the house, I detected a faint throbbing noise in the air that increased in intensity the closer I got to my street. As the house came into view, I could also see a thronging mass of ponies gathered on the street, swarming around a stage with Vinyl at the center of it.

“So, my house is apparently considered part of an apartment complex,” I said to nopony in particular. Sighing, I headed into the dancing masses in the hopes of making my way back to the apartment. Approximately halfway through the horde, I found myself unable to progress any further as I reached what seemed to be a solid mass of ponies. Now that I was closer to the center of the maelstrom, the faint throbbing had become absolutely unbearable, and I could feel the very ground shaking with each beat of whatever song Vinyl was playing.

I was strongly tempted to cover my ears as the windows around me shook and ponies bobbed their heads in time with the beat, but decided against it as I was unable to move my forehooves up past my barrel. I sighed and turned to face the pony near me. She was magenta colored and had smiling flowers for a cutie mark. I vaguely recalled seeing her during my first day in Ponyville. “So,” I said, “How are you liking the party?”

“What?!” She yelled, “I can’t hear you.”

“I said, are you enjoying yourself?!” I asked, raising my voice.

“Oh yeah, Pinkie sure knows how to throw a party, and Vinyl can always keep the music going until dawn.”

Until dawn, did these things actually go on until the early morning? I couldn’t conceive of anypony wanting to listen to that obnoxious booming noise until dawn, but then, I couldn’t imagine anypony wanting to listen to that obnoxious booming at all. Still, Vinyl’s music was important to her, and it seemed a great many ponies enjoyed it, I thought as I elbowed my way over to what I assumed to be the refreshment table, where I poured myself a glass of punch. My first sip verified that it had been spiked. I took another.

I stood for some time, listening to the deafening music, watching ponies jump up and down and write in what could charitably be described as dancing. As I listened, I found myself focusing more and more on Vinyl’s (admittedly simplistic) beats, and was horrified to discover that my body had started moving in time with the music, my flank was swaying back and forth, and I noticed at least a few mares and stallions glancing at me. I quickly stopped and took another sip of my drink while pondering how Vinyl’s music could make my body move without my consent. My best theory was that the deep bass was somehow able to override the conscious mind and tap into some primal instinctual urge to dance. The longer the night wore on, the more I caught myself dancing to the music, until I eventually decided that stopping myself from dancing wasn’t a battle I could win and let the music take me where it would. This decision certainly wasn’t influenced by the copious number of drinks I had consumed by that point.

This went fairly well, at first. I danced in the fashion that seemed to be so popular at the party, although a more accurate descriptor would be that I flailed around like a pony having an epileptic fit, and slowly found myself moving towards the stage, allowing for a better look at my marefriend. She was positively resplendent. Her goggles obscured her eyes, and she focused on her turntables with a dagger like intensity. Sweat beaded her brow as the stage lights shone down upon her beautiful white coat, and her electric blue mane was matted down to her head. Vinyl’s horn was glowing the same color as her mane, and my hesitations about her music vanished. I loved her, and at that moment, I loved her music, as it was merely an extension of her, but not just that, it was her. Her passion, her joy, her efforts all focused on this work, and one could not love one without loving the other, and her love for her craft eventually infected everypony listening to her. The love filled the crowd, and I could feel it weighing down on and crushing me.

No, on second thought, that wasn’t love that was crushing me. It was the ponies that surrounded me, moving closer to the sound system, and in doing so, constricting my ability to breathe. I opened my mouth to try to scream, but was unable to find the air. My limbs flailed around as I desperately tried to push the other ponies away, but they pushed back, thinking I was merely dancing. As my vision blackened, my eyes drifted to the night sky, allowing me to see Luna’s night one last time before I died as Vinyl’s music filled my ears. There was even a rainbow, streaking across the sky and growing larger with every second, which should have been impossible, but then, this town doesn’t know the meaning of the word.

Considering all the other ways this town had attempted to end my life, this had to be one of the better ones, and as I felt my corporeal body ascending to the heavens, I looked down and saw Vinyl staring at me. With my last ounce of strength, I waved down at her and wished her luck before finally falling into oblivion.

Day 14

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I woke up to the familiar beeping of a cardiac monitor and without having to open my eyes knew immediately where I was. Having a near death experience and waking up in a hospital was actually managing to become more of a nuisance than a cause for concern, which itself was cause for concern. I let out a groan, “Ugh… how bad is it—”

Before I could finish my sentence I felt a pair of forelegs wrap themselves tightly my midsection. The same midsection that had been crushed during last night’s festivities/near death experience. “Vinyl,” I said, as my eyes popped open, confirming that my assailant was indeed my roommate, “Breath… can’t.”

“Oh right, sorry” she said as she pulled away. Now that I was no longer asphyxiating, I gave my roommate closer look. Her eyes were puffy and red, her cheeks were stained, and her hair was unkempt, even by her standards. Had she been crying? I don’t think I had ever seen her cry.

Vinyl sniffed, lending strength to my theory that she was crying, “What the hay were you doing out there? You don’t just wander into a mosh pit without… Why would YOU wander into a mosh pit?”

I tilted my head, “Mosh pit?”

She facehoofed, “The place where all the ponies were dancing and throwing themselves against each other? You know, the place you were almost crushed to death at?”

“Ahh yes, that mosh pit. Obviously, I didn’t know that it was called a mosh pit and that I should avoid it for some reason. In truth, I was so enraptured by your stage presence that I probably would have ignored such warnings even if I was aware of them.”

Vinyl blushed, her normally white cheeks were tinged a delightful shade of crimson. “You mean I caused you to wander out into the mosh pit?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that you caused me to wander in, it’s more like… You aren’t responsible for my little accident. It was my own stupidity that led to that.”

My roommate glared at me, “You almost died, Tavi, and you are brushing it off like it’s no big deal. Do you know what it was like for me to see you being crushed by a mob of ponies that I had created? If something terrible had happened…” She stopped speaking and started crying, not just sniffling but actual proper sobbing.

“It was terrible, Tavi. I couldn’t do anything, I could only watch as the few ponies who had tried to give you space were pushed back by the idiots who were trying to help. I felt so stupid and helpless, and I have been sitting here all night thinking that I would never forgive myself if things had gone worse and hoping you don’t hate me for almost getting you killed and—”

I hugged her, ignoring the pain in my chest such an action caused, “It’s alright Vinyl, it wasn’t your fault, it was an accident. I am here, I’m fine, everything is fine. I promise. Besides, you should know by now that near death experiences are a near daily occurrence for me.”

Vinyl sniffled once more and smiled, “Yeah, what is this, like… the third time you had a near death experience since you came to Ponyville?”

I nodded. “See, it’s not your fault. It’s the fault of whatever malevolent power has been hounding me for the past two weeks.”

Her smile slowly moved back to a frown, “I know you are joking, but I have to ask, have you always been surrounded by death and catastrophe, or is this just something that started after you moved to Ponyville?”

“I’m sorry to say that up until two weeks ago my life was perfectly, wonderfully ordinary, if a bit drab.”

“Huh,” Vinyl said, “Well, I am just happy you are okay now, or… mostly okay. The doctor says you should be fine if you get a few days bed rest and allow the restorative spells he cast and your own natural earth pony healing ability to fix your ribs. In fact, you should be good to go home today.”

Vinyl smiled happily at her pronouncement, and I failed to contain my laughter.

“While spending a few days in bed with you sounds lovely,” I said after my laughter had subsided, “I do believe I am far too busy to allow for any such delays, and there is no way in Equestria that I will miss the orchestra’s first,” and possibly only, I mentally added, “performance today. So I am afraid I will have to disobey the doctor’s orders no matter how tempting they might sound.” With that, I moved to sit up in bed and succeeded in causing my ribcage to feel like it was about to explode. I quickly lay back down, tears forming in my eye.

“I know the orchestra’s first performance is important to you,” Vinyl said, resting a forehoof on my shoulder in a gesture meant to comfort and console, “But your health is important to me, and I am not about to let you foolishly risk it because of your stupid pride.” I could have sworn we had this same conversation last week, “Twilight is more than capable of leading the orchestra, and we can play without you. I’m sure everypony else in the group would back me up on this if they were here right now.”

I very much wanted to point out that only Lyra and I had any actual official classical training, and that I was the pony placed in charge of ensuring the orchestra’s success, but the look in her eye made me decide that I would have about as much success arguing with her as I would with a wall, and a particularly solid wall at that. I meekly nodded my head, “Very well, Vinyl.”

She leaned in and gave me a tender kiss that I could have sworn lasted for several weeks before she eventually broke it, “I know you’re probably kind of mad at me about this, but I hope you understand that I just want you to be okay, and if I let you go to the performance and something bad happened because of it then I would just… I don’t want to be responsible for you getting hurt again.”

When she put it like that, it almost made me reconsider my plan to sneak out after she had left. Almost. At the very least, she ensured that I would feel guilty about it.

“It’s fine,” I said, hoping to reassure her, “I understand that you have my best interests at heart.”

“Glad to hear it,” Vinyl said, smiling slightly, “Don’t worry, I will be back here as soon as the gig is over to tell you how it went.”

Her mood now drastically improved she trotted off to prepare for the coming concert, leaving me to stare at the ceiling and plan my escape. The first thing I was certain of was that there was no chance in Equestria of me making it out of here on my own. Just moving to sit up had caused me to nearly black out, so walking there was presumably a bad idea. That meant I needed an accomplice, and I could count the number of ponies who might be willing to aid me in a jail break on one hoof.

Now the question became ‘How am I going to get her to the hospital?’ An idea quickly bubbled up to the top of my mind, and I decided that, while it almost certainly wouldn’t work, was at least worth an attempt.

“Can somepony help me plan a party?” I said, speaking as loudly as I could without causing any undue pain.

The second I finished my statement, the pink pony popped up from beside my bedside, smiling brightly. “Did somepony say party?”

That… that shouldn’t have worked. I stared off into space for an unknown length of time trying to figure out just how my idiotic half-baked plan worked. There… I…

“Hello! Earth to Tavi,” Pinkie said, waving her hoof in front of me, “You have the look of somepony who just saw proof that the sane and rational universe concocted by pony minds is merely an illusion meant to keep us from all going absolutely mad.”

“Wait, what?” I asked, finally snapping from a reverie.

“Nothing,” she said, her smile still plastered to her face, “Just wanted to make sure you are feeling okay.”

“Alright then,” I said, trying to smile weakly and… Wait. If I didn’t hear what Pinkie Pie said, how could I transcribe it right now? I shouldn’t have been able to, it’s completely impossible, but I just transcribed every word that escaped her lips and… You know what? I am not going to think about it. I am going to bury this fresh new slice of impossible along with all the other impossible things that happen in this town, and just go on smiling and never ever pondering just how or why something that should be impossible in a sane or rational universe happened, although I highly doubt this new resolution will last. It never does.

Anyways, I smiled weakly, Pinkie Pie bounced up and down (I believe the proper term for such a motion is spronking, which seems… somewhat appropriate), and I put the second part of my plan into motion. “Are you ready for your concert today?” I asked.

“Yupperooni! I’ve been so excited the last few days I can barely sleep, I’ve just been staying in my room practicing the music you picked out. I am so excited I could just…” She trailed off and started to shake violently before confetti and fireworks exploded around her. Like I said, I am beyond caring or questioning at this point. “Explode!”

“It’s a shame that I won’t be able to see it, I would love to attend but the doctor and Vinyl have put me on strict bed rest. Although…” I trailed off in the hopes of piquing Pinkie’s curiosity.

“What?” She asked, still bouncing up and down.

“No, no, forget it, I wouldn’t want you to inadvertently get in trouble helping me get to the concert. Like you said the other day, we are family and I don’t want to risk getting family into trouble.”

“But family should also HELP family, that’s like… the entire point of it. And, I mean, it’s not like you’ d be doing anything super-duper tough right? You’d just be sitting and watching the performance.”

I nodded. “I just want to make sure everything goes well and be there to offer moral support. Nothing more.”

“Well,” Pinkie said, “I could push your wheelchair there so you can watch but only if you Pinkie Promise not to leave it during the performance.”

“Pinkie Promise?” I asked.

“Cross your heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye.” As she spoke her hooves made a series of motions to go with the words, eventually culminating in her placing her hoof against her eye. I sighed and repeated the gesture and chant.

“Great,” she said, “I will go get a wheelchair.” With that, she bounced (spronked?) happily out of her room, allowing me to very carefully raise myself and sit on the bedside before checking the extent of my injuries. My entire midsection was tightly bandaged, and I discovered that if I attempted any strenuous physical activities, such as taking a particularly deep breath, my entire body would fill with a clawing, stabbing sort of pain that would make my vision momentarily go black. It seemed that I would be keeping that Pinkie Promise whether I wanted to or not. As I waited for her to return, Doctor Flatline walked into the ruin.

“Well, I am glad to see you are up, although you really shouldn’t be moving around right now. Any unnecessary physical activity might undo all our work setting and mending your ribs.”

“I’m very sorry,” I said, “I just thought it would help if I stretched my hooves.”

“It very well might,” he said, taking a step closer to me, “But not for the next few days. Until then, I insist that you go home and get plenty of rest. Thanks to your accelerated healing abilities and our regenerative healing spells, you should be able to walk around the house in four or five days. Until then try to limit your movement as much as possible.”

“Of course,” I said, “I wasn’t planning on celebrating Nightmare Night anyways, so there is no trouble there. Hopefully a situation won’t arise in the next few days that forces me to break that promise.” Because this town had been so good about not throwing absolutely insane things at me so far.

“Yes, well even if it does, I am sure other somepony else will be able to deal with it. Now then, do you have someone to watch over you at your house?”

I nodded.

“Of course,” he briefly looked around the room, “Speaking of which, where is Miss Scratch?”

“She is out to get a wheelchair. I take it by your question I can head home?” I asked.

“Yes, I spoke with Miss Scratch earlier and she assures me that you will be getting plenty of bed rest. She was very insistent on that point.” Doctor Flat Line said, “But before you go, I would like to write you a prescription for some pain relief.” He quickly levitated a sheet of paper towards me, with some very illegible writing on it.

“Just bring that to Mr. Phil Popper downstairs, and be sure to get plenty of rest over the next few days.”

I grabbed the sheet of paper and nodded. “I will, and thank you for patching me back up.”

“It’s my job,” he said, before turning towards the door, “Hopefully I won’t be seeing much of you for the next few weeks… or months.”

It would be nice if I could go an entire week without being rushed to the ER, I thought as the doctor left. Probably impossible, but certainly pleasant. Several seconds later, Pinkie returned, pushing the wheelchair. “Ready to get going?” She asked, struggling to keep from bouncing.

“Just give me a second to…” I struggled to get to my hooves, as my body howled in protest, but several laborious minutes later, I was seated (somewhat) comfortably in the wheelchair. “Okay, let’s get moving, but could you please refrain from any erratic movements?” I asked.

“Sure thing,” she said, “Safety is my other middle name. Pinkamina Diane Safety Pie.”
Several seconds later, I was gripping to the wheelchair for dear life as we flew down a hallway, with Pinkie perched firmly atop the foreleg rests, letting out an ecstatic “Whee!” To her credit, we were moving in a perfectly straight line. A perfectly straight line heading towards a very hard wall.

“Pinkie! Stop this instant!” The literal-minded pony complied with my request and brought the wheelchair to a complete halt. Unfortunately, her sudden disregard for the conservation of momentum didn’t extend to me and I completed my trip towards the wall as planned.

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Tavi,” she said as she scooped me off the floor, “I was just having so much fun pushing you around, and then I thought it would be more fun if I started surfing on the wheelchair, and I kind of forgot that you weren’t feeling well or strapped into your wheelchair or anything.”

I winced as she deposited me back in the chair, “It’s fine just… let’s go to the pharmacy, I need to turn in a prescription.”

“Okey dokey lokey,” she said, “And I promise I won’t do anything crazy this time. I mean, nothing too crazy. You know, I won’t do anything that might put you in danger like race through the halls of the hospital. Ooh! We should do a wheelchair race. Ready! Set!”

I cut her off, “Pinkie, please remember that I have had several bones broken in the last twenty-four hours, and would hate to have any more added to that list.” Assuming I hadn’t broken any bones when I ran into a wall headfirst which… Well, I didn’t seem concussed at the moment, so that was a positive. We made our way to the pharmacy, I turned in the prescription, took one of my Oxycoltin, and we went on to the main show, while I did my best to tune out Pinkie’s incessant chatter. After about twenty minutes the painkiller made that task substantially easier.

“We’re here!” Pinkie said as she brought the wheelchair to a far less abrupt stop. “Now, you’re kind of in the back, so nopony in the orchestra should see you, and remember, you said you wouldn’t leave your chair for the performance.”

I nodded my head at that as the opiate pulled me further into its soft embrace. The world seemed to be both brightened and dulled, and my very body felt as if it were about to float away. “Great, hope you enjoy the performance.” Pinkie said before bouncing away.

There was a brief wait before the orchestra finally assembled under one of Ponyville’s pavilions, and by that time a substantial crowd had gathered. Amongst the masses, I could identify Rarity, Bon Bon, Applejack, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Royal Riff. Of course he would be there, probably just waiting to swoop in the moment things went wrong. As the orchestra finished it’s preparations, he walked towards the orchestra and I felt the muscles in my neck tighten. I rolled closer to the orchestra to overhear what would happen next.

“So, where is the ringleader of your little circus?” He asked as he approached, “Did she finally realize that she had no chance of making a successful orchestra and flee back to Canterlot with her tail tucked between her legs?”

Vinyl stepped forward and answered him, “Actually, not that it is any of your business, she is in the hospital recovering from several broken ribs.”

His sneer quickly evaporated and turned into one of something resembling concern, “I see, then since she is currently incapacitated, I feel it would be for the best if we buried the metaphorical hatched and I took over the orchestra allowing her to recover.” Oh, he was clever. If he hadn’t already made his extreme distaste for me public I might have believed him. Thankfully, Vinyl didn’t consider his offer for a second.

“Not a chance, dude,” she said after she finished laughing in his face. “If I let you run the orchestra, I am pretty sure Tavi would kill me. Besides, you’ve been nothing but a jerk to me and my friends.”

He scowled and stomped off as the orchestra finished it’s set up, muttering and cursing as he left. For the sake of civility, I will not transcribe what he said here. As he returned to the crowd, Twilight turned to face the orchestra, and their inaugural performance began. To my surprise, they were actually quite good. In fact, they were absolutely wonderful. They played through Beethoofen’s Eighth Concerto with gusto, and the music combined with the painkillers to transport me to a state of bliss. They weren’t just technically proficient (although not flawless), they played with a certain zeal and fervor that was lacking in all of the orchestra’s I had dealt with previously, and my inability to accurately describe it is infuriating.

Their performance ended far too soon, and I found myself wishing that I could have listened to them play all day. Seconds after they finished their last note, the entire audience was stomping their hooves wildly. The entire audience sans one particular pony and his lackeys. He stepped towards the pavilion as the last of the applause died down. “I admit, your little band has a certain charm to it, and I am feeling rather charitable today, so I will overlook your previous insolence, and give you the chance to help me form a proper orchestra.” He gestured towards a small cadre of unicorns in the crowd. “Each one of those ponies with me has more than ten years of orchestral experience, and it is just a matter of time before Princess Luna and the rest of this town decide to have an actual orchestra representing them.”

“Well,” Rarity said, moving to the front of the crowd, “I can’t speak for Princess Luna and I certainly can’t speak for an entire town, but I would much rather have Ponyville be represented by ponies who love this town and bring that love to their performances than by ponies who just see this orchestra as another job.”

Several ponies murmured in agreement at that, and while I wouldn’t say that I loved the town, I certainly knew better than to complain at that particular moment. “Hmph,” Royal Riff said, “I wouldn’t expect some townspony to be able to discriminate between a proper orchestra and some rabble with passing musical knowledge. The important thing is that Princess Luna will see reason, Celestia appointed me as her court musician, and I am sure Luna will have the good sense not to entrust some mare with less than five years of actual orchestral experience with Equestria’s second most prestigious orchestra.” Thankfully the painkillers were still in effect and I just shrugged off my rival’s insults. The orchestra had played brilliantly, and for the first time in days I felt like we might have an actual chance of creating something worthy of Princess Luna. At the very least, the town was looking upon my version of the orchestra favorably.

“Yeah, well if Luna had wanted you to be in charge she probably would have put you in charge in the first place instead of going with Tavi. Face it Royal Riff, the orchestra is staying in Tavi’s hooves.” While I certainly admired my friend’s loyalty, had I really done that much for the orchestra? I gave everypony who auditioned a job, we only practiced together once, and I was unable to play an active role in our first performance. One could even make a convincing argument that I was the least useful member of the orchestra.

Thankfully, that train of thought was interrupted as a familiar grey pegasus flew up into the sky. “Oh! Royal Riff, I think I have a letter in here for you.” She searched through her mailbags before pulling out a letter adorned with the Royal Seal of Equestria. “Here you go,” she said, as she brought the letter over to him, “It’s from the princess.”

“I know who it is from,” he said, as he angrily snatched the letter out of her hooves, “Now this should finally put an end to your town’s little mockery of an orchestra and allow me to perform my duties without obstruction.”

He opened the letter and began to read aloud, “Dear Royal Riff, while I admire your passion for this project, I must remind you that I sent you to Ponyville to perform in an advisory capacity, and your earlier letter gave me no convincing reasons on why I should replace Octavia. If you are unable or unwilling to assist her, I suggest you come back to Canterlot so that…” He trailed off and the letter fell from his hooves.

“No,” he said, “This has to be some kind of joke.” He pointed a hoof at Ditzy Doo, “You all bribed her to give me this… obvious forgery of a letter. No pony in their right minds would choose such an inexperience mare over one of the premier musicians in Canterlot.”

Vinyl took a deep breath before responding, “Look, I know we don’t exactly see eye to eye on things, but you know, maybe you could stop trying to destroy the orchestra and start actually, you know, doing what the Princess requested you to? I know Tavi is, or was, a really big fan of yours, and I see no reason why the two of you should—”

“Shut up, you insufferable stuck-up unicorn bitch!” Royal Riff punctuated his retort by slapping Vinyl across the cheek. The crowd gasped and before any pony else could think of a response I had already closed most of the difference separating us. I don’t know if it was the painkillers or my pure undiluted anger, but I hardly noticed any pain coming from my broken ribs.

“That is quite enough,” I said, “If you have any problems with the way my orchestra is managed, I suggest you bring it up with me as opposed to taking it out on those that are dear to me.”

Royal Riff turned to face me, his golden eyes blazing, “And here we have the ringleader of this little mockery, fresh out of the hospital to torment me.”

Vinyl inched over to me and whispered, “I thought you said you were going to stay in the hospital.”

“Sorry dear, as much as I love you, there was no way in Equestria I was going to miss the orchestra’s first performance. We can discuss it more later, but right now, I feel the need to deal with Mr. Riff.” My attention turned back towards my former hero, “Since you came to this town you have done nothing but try to undermine my, and by extension Princess Luna’s, work on the Royal Ponyville Orchestra. Up until thirty seconds ago I was hoping we could reach a resolution that would be satisfactory for all parties, but now I am afraid I must issue an ultimatum. Leave Ponyville or I will inform the princesses of your behavior, although I suspect Princess Sparkle is already planning on reporting you.” I gestured a hoof towards our conductor, and the blood drained from Royal’s face. How he didn’t notice the alicorn princess earlier, I will never know.

He let out a primal roar, “No! You don’t get to win! I spent my entire life working for the tiniest bit of recognition. Before me, nopony had even considered the idea of an earth pony being a proper musician. Without me you would have never gotten a hoof in the door, and what do I get for all my hard work? A pat on the back and a job where I can fade into obscurity. That was fine though, I thought, at least I got a little recognition, at least I knew that the Princesses valued my dedication, but then I find out that they gave a job any musician would kill for to some earth pony who is only notable because of how frequently her performances end in disaster.”

Royal Riff took a breath in a futile attempt to calm himself, “I looked into you, you know, to see why the Princesses might have chosen you over somepony more qualified, and I couldn’t find a single solitary reason. You were right in the center of the Gala disaster, you’ve only been in an actual proper orchestra for two years, and to top it all off, you are barely old enough to buy a drink, but the princesses chose you anyways, and it’s not fair.”

Something unexpected happened then, my nemesis started to cry, “It’s not fair that I worked my entire life fighting for every last bit of recognition I could find, and then a third chair cellist gets everything that should have been mine. I cleared the way and then you got everything, and it’s not fair. It’s not right. You didn’t earn this, you didn’t work for it, but I did. I did and you’re… you’re nothing.” He continued to talk, but I had heard enough. As much as I wanted to find him completely and totally irredeemable (believe me, I would have loved to), his ranting reminded me of my own frame of mind a week ago. Yes, he was a truly insufferable ass, but it was all too easy for me to imagine myself being as angry and bitter as him if I had never come to Ponyville. With a sigh, I approached him and patted him on the back.

“You’re right,” I said, “It’s not fair. You worked harder than anypony else, and you never got the recognition you wanted. I can understand that, and to a degree, I can empathize with that. But your actions are harming the cause you worked for your entire life.”

He looked up at me in confusion, and I took the opportunity to elaborate, “This is the first time in Equestrian history that an earth pony has been chosen to lead an orchestra, and instead of working to overturn centuries of conventional wisdom about the role of earth ponies in the musical arts, we are squabbling amongst each other and dooming both ourselves and the orchestra to failure. Now, we can keep fighting, or we can put our differences aside and work together to silence our detractors once and for all by creating the finest orchestra the world has ever seen. I will leave that choice to you, but rest assured that if you hurt any of my friends again, I will end you.”

The fire in his eyes had burnt out and was replaced with a steely determinism, “I suppose there is some honor in making peace with your enemy for the greater good, and based on what I heard today, if we combine our talents, we could make a truly remarkable orchestra. That is, if you’d have my assistance.”

I shook my head, “No, if we are going to do this, we are working as equals, you were right about having more experience than I, and I would be a foal not to use it as much as possible. However, I do have one tiny request.”

“What is that, he asked?”

“Apologize to Vinyl, your behavior earlier was simply unacceptable, and if you are going to be working with us, you need to make amends with the orchestra.”

He let out a sigh and turned to face my roommate, “You are absolutely right. Miss Scratch, I apologize for my earlier outburst, I was under quite a bit of stress, and while I don’t expect you to forgive me immediately, I do hope you will give me the chance to atone, as I legitimately regret my words and actions.”

“Alright,” Vinyl said, “I still don’t like you, but Tavi is giving you a chance for some reason, so I guess I will support her. I still think you are a jerk.”

“I suppose that is about as much as I could have expected,” he said after Vinyl finished speaking. He turned back to face me and bowed slightly, “Now if you will excuse me, I must prepare for our next practice session and start work on integrating the orchestras. Do you have any particular time in mind?”

I shook my head, “I hadn’t considered it yet, but I think the sooner we get the orchestras working together the better. Would you be opposed to meeting Saturday afternoon?”

“Saturday sounds fine, I will be in touch.” With that, he walked over to his cadre of unicorns and headed back towards wherever he was lodging.

After that, the crowd dispersed, and with it, the adrenaline that had sustained me evaporated, and I quickly found myself regretting the decision to leave my wheelchair. “Vinyl, I know you probably intend to yell at me later for breaking my promise and leaving the hospital, but for now, could you help me get back in my wheelchair?” I said, wincing.

Before I had time to finish my question, Vinyl had retrieved my wheelchair, and was gently lowering me into it by way of her magic. I was more than happy to let her coddle me at the moment partly due to the rather excessive amount of pain I was in, and partly due to the fact that painkillers are a truly wonderful invention that can make most of a mare’s problems disappear. “I am sorry again for breaking my promise, but you have to understand that there was simply no chance of me missing the orchestra’s first performance,” I said, as Vinyl pushed me back towards our house.

She sighed, “I know, and I should be angrier about that, but right now I am too busy thinking about how cool it was of you to shut down Royal Riff like that, although I am a bit confused about why you went all kind and forgiving on him at the end, I mean, he is a bit of a jerk.”

“That’s right, he is,” I said, “Does he, perhaps, remind you of any other jerks when they first moved to Ponyville?”

“Wait, no, that’s totally not fair,” Vinyl said after a few seconds of though, “I mean, sure you were a bit standoffish when you first got here, but you were nowhere near as bad as him. Like, you at least tried to put your best hoof forward.”

“You’re right,” I said as she continued to push me through the streets, “But do you know what the biggest difference between me and Royal Riff is?”

“Uhmm, your body is sleek, toned, and curvy in all the best places, while his is kind of flabby?”

“Ye—No, Vinyl, I am trying to make a point here, and that is that if I had never come to Ponyville, if I had just stayed in Canterlot to scrabble for any minor accolades I could find devoting myself completely to my craft then there is a very real possibility that I might have wound up as bitter and angry as he was. If you’ll recall, I wasn’t exactly pleasant when I first moved here.”

“I suppose,” Vinyl said, “But really, I mean, he is still a jerk.”

I nodded my head at that, “He is, but that… I don’t know, I want to think that there is a good pony somewhere deep inside him and that he isn’t completely irredeemable. Although, I must admit, it did take all of my willpower not to kick his flank when he slapped you.”

Vinyl moved to nuzzle my check, “Yeah, you were super angry earlier. I mean, I thought Royal Riff was going to disintegrate under the weight of that death glare you gave him.”

“It wasn’t that bad, was it?” I said, struggling to control my grin.

“Tavi, I love you and all, but if I ever get you that angry, I think I will have to flee Equestria.”

Our conversation trailed off after that, and my mind turned to… I honestly can’t remember what it was. There was a long string of nonsensical musing fueled by the Oxycoltin before my mind finally turned to something that seemed important.

“Vinyl, do you recall the day I first moved here?” I asked.

“You mean when you yelled at pretty much everypony and upset the entire town?”

I nodded, not feeling like dignifying that with a proper response, “Well, something about that day has been bugging me for quite a while, and I just now put my hoof on it. Ditzy Doo punched a massive hole in the wall of our kitchen and less than a day later the hole was gone. I don’t recall anypony fixing it, so I am curious about what happened.”

“Oh, that’s simple,” she said, “The Unicorn Repair Corps paid us a visit.”

“And let’s pretend for a moment that I was some sort of uneducated simpleton who had never heard of the Unicorn Repair Corps before, what exactly do they do?”

“Right, well, you know how there are like… a bunch of accidents in Ponyville?”

I nodded.

“Well… A few years back, a bunch of ponies got together and decided that since the town was getting leveled on a semi-annual basis, we should have some unicorns who go around and fix up any property that gets damaged during whatever crazy thing happens in town.”

That… actually made quite a bit of sense. Terrible things certainly had a tendency of happening in Ponyville, and it was somewhat reassuring to know that some protective measures were in place. It also explained why the Ponyville General Hospital was almost twice the size of the Royal Canterlot Hospital, another mystery I had spent some small time pondering sense moving to this town.

Several minutes later, I was back in our house and resting comfortably on the couch while Vinyl took great care to tuck me in. “So,” I said, “You haven’t reprimanded me for my earlier deception yet.”

She shrugged, “Like I said earlier, I am just not that upset. Yes, you lied, but then I got to thinking, and if the shoe was on the other hoof, I probably would have done the same thing. Hell, I am surprised you didn’t try to make your way on the stage.”

“Believe me, I planned to, and if not for the Oxycoltin I probably would have, but thanks to its mind-numbing influence, I was more than happy to stare into space and listen to the music.”

“Well, I guess that’s good,” she said as she finished tucking me in, “Just promise me you will try to take it easy for the next few days?”

I nodded my head, “Of course, Vinyl. Although, do you think I could have something to drink?”

“Yeah, sure,” Vinyl said, “You’re okay with water right, I mean, I have other stuff, but I don’t think you are supposed to take alcohol with Oxycoltin.”

“Sounds fine,” I said as she went into the kitchen. I decided to close my eyes while I waited only to open them several hours later as a stabbing pain in my chest pulled me from my slumber.

A groan escaped my lips as one hoof blindly searched for the bottle of Oxycoltin. Why the doctor didn’t give me any painkillers for my previous misadventures, I will never know, but I am certainly grateful for the aid he did give me this time.

I found both the pill bottle and the glass of water Vinyl had provided earlier next to my makeshift bed on the coffee table, and I quickly swallowed another pill before lying back down and waiting for the medicine to take effect. As the interminable minutes passed by, I started to wonder where my roommate was. “Vinyl?” I asked through pained breaths. The seconds ticked by and there was no response. A part of me wanted to get up and search for my missing roommate, but was quickly overruled by the much larger part of me that wanted to lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling.

The door opened half an hour later and both Vinyl and Rarity trotted into the room. “Hey Musicbutt,” Vinyl said upon seeing I was awake.

“Musicbutt?” I asked, trying to figure out where the new nickname had come from. For her part, Rarity was managing to keep a straight face.

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, “On account of that music thingy on your flank. Thought of it this morning and had been dying to hear what you think of it.”

If she thought it would be anything other than complete hatred, my marefriend was completely and utterly insane, “First of all,” I said, “That music thingy is a treble clef. Second of all, I detest the nickname, although I believe that was your desired reaction when minting it. Thirdly, you calling me ‘Musicbutt’ is rather hypocritical considering the fact that your cutie mark consists of two bridged eighth notes. Finally, why in Equestria would you bring Rarity here without giving me time to properly groom myself?” I punctuated the last point by running a hoof through my mane in a desperate attempt to style it.

“Please,” Rarity said, moving to sit on the love seat, “While I do value fine grooming, I certainly don’t expect a friend so freshly released from the hospital to have every hair in its proper place. Besides, considering your circumstances you look absolutely radiant.” Ah yes, “considering your circumstances,” or as it is more commonly known, code for “everything I am about to say is a lie.” I groaned, but decided it for the best not to call my friend out.

“Thank you,” I said, before turning my attention back to Vinyl, “Now I am going to ask you, what in Equestria made you think calling me Musicbutt would be a good idea?”

She shrugged, moving to sit on the far end of the couch that was currently doubling as my makeshift bed, “I guess I thought it would be funny, and it was. Although I was totally expecting you to get into like… Angry Tavi mode. I mean angry Musicbutt mode. Sorry about that, still getting used to the new nickname.”

The glare I was giving her could cause paint to peel off the wall, but to her credit, Vinyl was unflinching.

“You alright Tavi, you kinda look like your stomach is upset.”

“No, I am attempting to replicate the death glare I gave Royal Riff earlier.”

“Oh… well, uhmm… You are kind of doing it wrong,” Vinyl said, “I mean, the glare you gave Double R was like the fires of Tartarus had been loosed upon Equestria, this one looks more funny and constipated. But good effort.”

I sighed, and my apparently ineffectual death glare dissipated. “I am stuck with the nickname Musicbutt, aren’t I?”

Vinyl nodded.

“Could you at least do me the small courtesy of not using it in public? I am already quite uncomfortable being called Tavi in public. It is far too familiar.”

“Uhmm… Tavi, I don’t know if you remember this, but we are kind of dating. Familiarity is the name of the game.”

I sighed, “Yes, I am aware of that Vinyl, but just because we are… familiar with each other while in the confines of our own home doesn’t allow us to be so unreserved in public. It’s just… improper.”

Vinyl rolled her eyes, “This is a big thing for you isn’t it?”

I nodded.

“Fine, the nickname won’t leave this house, cross my heart and hope to fly.”

“That’s… I suppose that is sufficient. Still, must you insist on devising new idiotic nicknames for me? I would think Tavi would be more than sufficient.”

She nodded her head while Rarity and I exchanged exasperated glances.

“Well, at least we reached a somewhat agreeable arrangement,” I said before turning to Rarity, “And thank you for coming to visit. I am assuming this is in relation to the meeting we discussed yesterday?”

“Of course darling, once I heard about your injuries, I decided I simply must come and visit you. I even provided the wine.” She gestured to a few bottles sitting next to the door that I had failed to note earlier.

“Wonderful, how have you been since I saw you last?” I asked as Vinyl grasped the bottles of wine in her telekinetic aura.

“Absolutely terrific, thanks to you,” Rarity said, “All of my costumes are finished and I was actually able to enjoy the Fall Harvest Festival for once. I am also looking forward to being able to celebrate Nightmare Night tomorrow and unveiling my new costume.

I smiled as I felt the pain in my chest begin to subside. We talked for a while after that, I abstained from having any wine for fear of it interfering with my painkillers, and Vinyl made me miss the days when her preferred nickname for me was Tavi. Honestly, the very idea that she would thing Musicbutt was appropriate was… Well, for starters it was completely hypocritical as I had just as much reason to call her Musicbutt as she did, and then of course we had the fact that it just seemed vulgar. It didn’t seem like something ponies would say in polite company, and certainly not to somepony they were in a relationship with. I would never disrespect Vinyl by calling her such a thing, no matter how apt it was.

Still, the rest of the evening passed pleasantly and the three of us discussed the little minutiae of the past few days, Pinkie Pie’s latest antics, my thoughts on the orchestra’s performance, mane styling techniques and other things of negligible import. Rarity and I did most of the talking while Vinyl would occasionally interrupt with a crass (although typically humorous) joke that was slightly relevant. I will leave the content of such jokes to the imagination of whoever reads this journal as I feel no desire to transcribe a joke that ends in “As the Princess said to the stallion.”

Finally, Rarity and I said our good-byes and it was just me and Vinyl. “Thank you for bringing Rarity over,” I said, still feeling the weight of the Oxycoltin slowing down my thoughts, “Tonight was absolutely lovely, and a perfect capstone to a surprisingly wonderful day.”

“Wonderful?” Vinyl asked, taking Rarity’s place on the love seat and leaving the couch to me, “You woke up in a hospital. That seems like a pretty bad thing.”

“True,” I said, “But at this point I just see waking up in the hospital as a baseline. Living in Ponyville has forced me to lower the bar substantially for what constitutes a good day, and bringing things to a satisfactory resolution with Royal Riff and spending the evening with two of my favorite ponies more than makes up for the minor inconvenience of almost dying.”

Was this town turning me into an actual optimist or was I just high on Oxycoltin? Hopefully the latter, as I don’t think I could handle waking up every morning thinking that everything was perfectly fine. I would be insane inside of a week.

Vinyl seemed to have a similar thought, “Okay, who are you and what have you done with Tavi?” She said after a few seconds of thought.

“Really?” I asked, arching an eyebrow, “You’re going to use a line that clichéd? I don’t think that line has ever been used outside of dime store serials and atrociously written plays. Certainly not in real life.”

She let out a sigh of relief before leaning over to give me a quick kiss on the lips, “There, that sounds like the Musicbutt I know and love.”

“Heh… girl kiss,” I said as she ran her forehoof through my mane. I blame the painkillers for my less than coherent reaction. That and the fact that Vinyl’s lips are wonderfully, almost perfectly soft, and the fur around her muzzle feels like a soft down comforter. It’s just… absolutely perfect, and if it weren’t for my shattered ribs I would have gladly ~~taken her back to my room and~~ I would have returned the kiss.

“You know,” Vinyl said, “For such a fancy mare you really can be—”

“Oh, shut up,” I said, idly waving a hoof at her.

She smiled happily, “Yes ma’am. Now, do you want to sleep down here or upstairs?”

“I would prefer to sleep in my own bed,” I said, “But I don’t think that will happen as it would require me to climb stairs.”

“Say no more,” she said, and before I could break her command I found myself wrapped in her telekinetic aura and floating up the stairs. Her magic was able to move me through the air without exacerbating my injuries, and less than a minute later I was delicately being lowered into my own bed.”

“Thank you, Vinyl,” I said after she finished tucking me in, “You really are wonderful.”

“I know, but thanks for saying it anyways.” Extremely egotistical perhaps, but wonderful, and sweet, and funny, and… she was walking out the door.

“Just where do you think you are going?” I asked.

“Uhmm… to my bed, I was kind of up all night looking after you and am pretty tired, especially after listening to you and Rarity talk about boring stuff for like… five hours.”

“It wasn’t boring, what part of mane styling techniques sounds tedious to you?”

“Like… the whole thing, I mean, I just put some gel in it, brush it to the side and am good to go the whole day long. Heck sometimes it lasts for two days, which is great because then I can shave like… thirty seconds off my morning routine.”

“But wouldn’t your shower wash most of the gel out of your hair?” I asked, a look of concern growing on my face.

She nodded and the implications of her earlier statement clicked into place.

“Go!” I said, pointing one hoof towards the bathroom, “Take a shower right this instant.”

Vinyl groaned, “But I’m tired, and nopony is going to care if I take a shower tonight or tomorrow.”

“I care, and you are taking a shower tonight AND tomorrow. I certainly won’t be spending the night with a mare who hasn’t showered all day.”

“Well, I mean, I wasn’t planning on sleeping with you tonight, didn’t want to accidentally hurt you or anything.”

“Is the mold monster still living in your room?” I asked.

More nodding.

“Then you are either sleeping with me or sleeping on the couch, and no matter what you choose you’re going to go take a shower.” I pointed at the door again, and with a defeated sigh Vinyl trotted off into my bathroom. She returned several minutes later and made her way into my bed, careful not to touch any of my damaged ribs. Her forelegs wrapped themselves tenderly around my neck and I idly ran one forehoof through her now washed hair. It really was remarkably soft, and without the gel in it, it appeared to be naturally feathered. I could have played with it for hours.

“Good night Tavi,” Vinyl said after letting out a yawn, “Wake me up if you need anything.”

Our muzzles nuzzled against the other’s, “I will dear, good night, and thank you again for all your help today. I love you.”

The last thing I saw before I feel asleep was Vinyl’s face, and I tried to commit every last detail of it to memory. Her freshly washed hair curled slightly at the tips, and with her eyes closed she looked somehow softer, with her usual enthusiasm and energy having been replaced with a serene tranquility. It was while meditating upon that image that I finally fell into a deep and lasting sleep filled with pleasant dreams.

A Nightmare Night's Dream (Part One)

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It has been... far too long since I last updated this journal. Almost a week if I have my days right, although that is rather doubtful as I've done nothing but lay in bed since Nightmare Night ended. Still, life goes on and the only way I am going to put the events of that terrible night behind me is by pulling myself together and continuing on like nothing has happened, and so I will do what I always do and write copiously long journal entries about all the horrible things that happen to me.

However, the day started pleasantly enough, I woke up as the sun rose, took a pain pill, and waited for my roommate to wake up. And waited. And waited. I considered getting up and grabbing some breakfast, but quickly abandoned the idea after a disastrous attempt to sit up. Besides, Vinyl had ordered me to stay in bed, and with her face nuzzled into the crook of my neck I was more than happy to oblige. Finally, sometime after noon, I heard stirring coming from her side of the bed.

“Good morning, Vinyl. How did you sleep?”

“Oh hey, Tavi,” she said, yawning, “Is it still morning, cause if so, I think I am going to go back to sleep, it’s been a busy couple of days.”

“No Vinyl, morning was six hours ago, late morning was two hours, we are on the cusp between midday and afternoon.”

She smiled as she rubbed the sleep out of one of her eyes, “Then I guess I woke up just in time. How long have you been up?”

“Like I said, Vinyl, morning was six hours ago,” I said, carefully rolling over to face her better.

“Oh jeeze,” Vinyl said, “You’ve been up this whole time? Did you need anything? A drink? Something to eat? Something to do besides stare at the ceiling?”

I smiled and moved so that my back was resting against the headboard. Eventually, I managed to make myself somewhat comfortable, “It’s perfectly fine, I was more than happy to lie in bed with you next to me, especially since getting out of bed is something you’ve ordered me to avoid. Although now that you mention it, I would be forever grateful if you could bring me some food and drink and pass me my journal. It has been a while since I last updated it and I might as well do something productive while confined to my bed.”

“Whoa, whoa whoa,” Vinyl said, “Even though you are stuck in bed, you would rather right in your journal than spend time with me?”

“Au contraire, mi amore, I would love to spend time with you, but I don’t think that is what the doctor had in mind when he said I should stay in bed for the next few days. It certainly wouldn’t facilitate the healing process.”

“Fine,” she said with a sigh before floating the book over to me, “But I want to read what you write. I mean, you did read through my diary after all.”

“That sounds agreeable,” I said, opening my journal and grabbing the pin she passed towards me, “But first, I would appreciate it if you got me breakfast.”

“Sure thing, Tavi,” she said, heading to the door, “Trot Tarts okay with you?”

I grimaced at that, but she either didn’t notice or didn’t particularly care. Probably the latter. Several minutes later, she had returned with two sleeves of the food product that only tangentially resembled a proper pastry. As I was taking the first tentative nibbles of mine, Vinyl was finishing off her second pastry.

“You still like ‘em right Tavi?”

“Of course,” I said, “I’d just prefer not to cover my bed in crumbs.” I pointed a hoof towards her side of the bed which was now littered with debris. She grinned sheepishly and quickly brushed most of them off.

“Sorry Tavi, kind of forgot how fussy and particular you are.”

I arched an eyebrow.

“Well, I didn’t forget, I mean, that is like your number one defining personality trait.” Thank you for the kind words, Vinyl, “It’s just that… like, I wasn’t actively thinking about it. Anyways, what’s the big deal? I have some crumbs on my bed and that never hurt anypony.”

“Vinyl, you have a sentient mold monster occupying your bedroom and it is in such a state that I am forbidding you from sleeping there.”

“Yeah, but…”

“Mold monster. No further arguments, and no rebuttals.”

“Okay,” she said with another sigh before leaning against her pillows, “But why do you have to eat so slow?”

“Because I like keeping all my things neat and tidy. You should appreciate that as it’s the primary reason why our house is… livable.”

“What do you mean?” She asked, “I lived here for years before you showed up.”

I decided not to dignify that comment with a response and went to work on my journaling, while Vinyl looked on, making the occasional comment such as “No way that happened,” or “That is totally not possible.” (Most of these comments were made in relation to Pinkie Pie doing anything.) She also informed me that her eyes are most definitely magenta and not purple, however, I felt the urge not to correct this mistake, and will instead be referring to her eyes as purple until she abandons the nickname Musicbutt. It seems only fair.

Eventually, I let out a small groan as my painkillers began to wear off, and Vinyl forced me to stop my writing, take a pain pill, and lay down. She had a rather convincing argument, and as the pain in my chest grew with every passing moment, I decided to oblige her as my mind sank back into the sweet pain-melting relief the Oxycoltin offered me. The rest of our day together passed uneventfully, and we conversed about the daily minutiae of our lives. She spoke of all the “gigs” she had lined up, and I discussed musical theory, before eventually talking about the song that had been stuck in my head for the past few days.

“Hmm, doesn’t sound familiar,” she said, “Maybe you made it up.”

I laughed and shook my head, “Vinyl, in all my years, I have never been able to compose a song that had the slightest bit of value, and eventually I just gave up. I highly doubt that I have somehow managed to reverse that trend.”

She nuzzled my neck, “Maybe something in the past few days gave you an idea, or maybe being in Ponyville is getting your artistic juices flowing.”

“No, I doubt that’s the case, if so, it would be filled entirely with the sounds of ponies screaming.”

Vinyl rolled her eyes, “Come on Musicbutt,” I shuddered, “The town isn’t that bad, I mean, you met me here, you have some friends, and most of the ponies seem to like you in spite of your stuffiness.”

“I’ve also been hospitalized three times in the span of two weeks,” I replied.

“Yeah, well, you know, it’s not like the town is to blame for that, you just had a bit of bad luck.”

I smiled, “I suppose you might have a point,” I admitted, “And now that I have an excuse to stay in bed, I will be able to work on putting this song to paper so that I can properly identify it.”

“I’m telling you, it’s an original song, and from what I’ve heard it sounds pretty decent, it’s probably gonna be a big hit.”

“Doubtful,” I said, tapping my chin, “But I thank you for the encouragement.”

“Don’t mention it,” Vinyl said before rolling out of bed, “Now you should probably get ready, we are having company over tonight.”

“What?” I half-asked, half-yelled, “I… We haven’t discussed this, why are ponies coming over?”

“Well, Lyra and I usually celebrate Nightmare Night by going out and hitting the town, and I thought about bringing you, but since you are all bedridden, I figured they could come over, we could drink and tell scary stories, and give out candy to the trick-or-treaters. You know, fun stuff.”

A groan escaped my lips, “Vinyl, exactly what part of that would sound fun to me? I don’t get along well with foals, find scary stories to be trite, and… actually, the liquor does sound appealing, but sadly it doesn’t mix well with the Oxycoltin.”

“Come on Tavi, we only have a few minutes left until sundown and I want your first Nightmare Night to be something cool. Like… I even spoke with Rarity and got a…”

She shivered, “Whoa, do you feel that?”

I shook my head, “I didn’t notice anything.”

“Really?” She asked, “It feels like… I don’t know how to describe magic things, but if you took all the ambient magical energy in the air and then multiplied it by fifty, that’s kind of what this feels like.”

“That descriptor doesn’t really help out those of us who have never felt magic before.”

“Yeah, right,” she said, shaking her head, “Sorry. Anyways, back on topic, I promise you will have fun tonight, in fact, I’ll make you a deal, you go down and try to have fun this year and I will be all stuffy and boring next year.”

She grabbed my bowtie and collar and fastened it around her neck, “In fact, I think I found my Nightmare Night costume for next year, I can be Octavia Prissypants.”

Vinyl cleared her throat and when she spoke again, she was doing a very poor imitation of my accent. “Ahh yes, a pleasure to meet you. I am certain that two mares as sophisticated as us will be firm friends in no time. No, we simply shan’t go out to the bars, it is most improper.”

Despite my best efforts, I found myself smiling at Vinyl’s glaringly inaccurate imitation of me, “I don’t speak like that Vinyl, the only reason my manner of speaking sounds peculiar to you is because I try to speak properly and don’t casually butcher the language as you do.”

“Oh of course,” Vinyl said, “One must always be proper at all times, if we aren’t, all of Equestria might implode upon itself, and we certainly don’t want that, do we dear?”

Speaking of speaking improperly, her accent had drifted from Manehattanite, to Trottingham, to Rarity’s impossible Mare-Atlantic accent. I deliberated on whether or not I should inform her, and while I did so, I finally noticed an electrical energy in the air, sending shivers down my spine.

“Vinyl, I think I am finally noticing that magic in the air you were speaking of earlier,” I said, feeling suddenly lightheaded.

“Really? How very odd. For me, the feeling subsided several minutes ago. In fact, I don’t detect any increase in magical activity at all.” To her credit, she had finally stopped switching accents with every other word, and she was actually beginning to sound like me. On the other hoof, her continued imitation of me was growing annoying, and I wished she would just act normally while we tried to sort out what exactly was going on.

“While I applaud your dedication to imitating me, you can stop it now, I promise I will try to-”

Before I could finish the thought, I felt a surge of magical energy rip through the air. My head throbbed and I shut my eyes, vainly hoping that by doing so the pain would decrease. Finally, after several minutes, the wave of magic that had washed over me subsided. I opened my eyes and was about to ask if Vinyl was okay, certain that any magical discomfort I experienced would be substantially worse for my marefriend, when I saw the effect the magic surge had on her.

Where once stood a unicorn, now stood an earth pony. A very familiar earth pony with a grey coat, black mane, and pink cutiemark. She would have been identical to me if not for the fact that her eyes were still Vinyl’s familiar shade of ~~magenta~~ purple and her flank was substantially shapelier than mine. I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose with one hoof as another groped for my bottle of Oxycoltin. In the distance, I heard the sound of ponies screaming as the last rays of light left Equestria.

I turned my attention back to my doppelganger, who looked even more bewildered than I was (I did at least have the foresight of knowing that Discord was planning something, although I was beginning to regret my complete lack of action leading up to Nightmare Night). “Hello,” I said after taking another one of my pain pills, “I’m sure you’re very confused about what exactly is going on, but I can assure you there is a semi-reasonable explanation as to why there are suddenly two of us.”

She narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips (Did I do that when I was angry?) “I am more confused about why another mare is lying in my bed. The whole thing reeks of impropriety.” I definitely do not speak like that.

“Really?” I asked, carefully getting up onto my hooves, “That is what you are curious about? Not the fact that said mare is almost completely identical to you or the fact that ponies are screaming in the distance?”

“But of course, those other ponies are not currently in my bedroom, and as for our alleged similarities, you are far too unrefined to do a passing impression of me. Your bowtie is crooked, your mane unkempt, and you have the most unsightly bandages wrapped around your barrel. Honestly, only the most base plebian could confuse you for the proper Octavia.” Vinyl, if you are reading this, please know that the only reason I didn’t strangle my doppelganger/you in that instant was because of my love for you. Also, your impression of me is utterly horrid and we need to talk about what you think of me.

I groaned and pressed my forehoof against my forehead. “I really don’t feel like dealing with this right now, but if what you said earlier is true and everypony here celebrates Nightmare Night, then I suppose I am the only sane pony in all of Ponyville. Truthfully, I don’t feel like that much has changed.”

Not-me scrunched her brow in confusion, “Don’t worry,” I said as I trotted over towards my saddlebags, “I am assuming that you won’t remember anything that happens here as soon as whatever Discord did gets fixed.”

“Discord? Is he behind you infiltrating my room? Or… no, you are just a madmare who is trying to confuse me,” she moved towards the door, “Stay right her while I fetch the constable.”

“Not planning on it,” I said after dropping my bottle of Oxycoltin into my saddlebags, “If you want you can come with me or you can stay here. Just… whatever you do, stay safe, I don’t want anything to happen to Vinyl and that means I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“Hmmph, don’t think I will be letting you out of my sight for an instant you… you impostor.” As she spoke I finished putting on my saddlebags, grateful that they only had to contain my pill bottle. It was unpleasant enough that I had to be walking, and presumably running, around in some foolish effort to save Ponyville and, more importantly, Vinyl when I should be recovering in bed, I didn’t need to add any more weight to the bag I would be carrying around.

“Fine, come with me then, just don't take any unnecessary risks,” I said while exiting my room.

I headed downstairs, with my doppelganger grumbling about a few steps behind me. To my horror, I found myself thinking that this night couldn’t get any worse, giving fate the chance to prove me wrong.

Immediately after that thought, there was a knocking on the door and I mentally berated myself for allowing that treasonous idea to creep into my mind. Of course things could get worse, they could always get worse. In fact, I think that is Ponyville’s slogan, “Things Can Always Get Worse.”

Anyways, I opened the door to find two ponies that highly resembled Lyra and Bon Bon. This version of Bon Bon had a red coat, horns, and a pitchfork as her cutiemark, while Lyra had sprouted a pair of rich, white, feathery wings, was wearing a white tunic, and had a golden halo over her head. I couldn’t get a clear view of her cutie mark, but it looked to be unchanged. “What are you two doing?” I asked.

“Hey,” Bon Bon said, “We felt that somepony over here was morally conflicted, so we thought we would come over to help.” She looked past me and saw my double still standing on the stairs. “Why are there two of you?”

I sighed, “If I had to guess, I would say it is for the same reason that you and Lyra are… what are you exactly?”

“Oh!” Lyra said as she walked into the house, “We decided to dress up this year an angel and devil, well, demon… Anyways, Bon Bon thought it would be a fun idea to do a couple’s costume this year. Unfortunately, the one year we all get turned into our costumes happens to be the one year I am convinced not to dress up as a human.” Her eye twitched, “But…” More twitching, as if it was physically painful for her to say the next words, “I am more than happy to do something that strengthens my relationship with Bon Bon, even if it means I don’t get everything I want.”

“So… being the good angel is killing you isn’t it?”

Lyra nodded before sitting down on one of my floor pillows, “Like you wouldn’t believe, like I know proper Lyra would be totally enraged right now, and I can still kind of feel it, but then there is all this angelic bliss and wisdom and morality countering it, and it’s just awful. I mean, it might not be so bad if Bon Bon was still Bon Bon, but she’s acting wrong too, and I have to disagree with everything she says.”

While Lyra was speaking, Bon Bon was whispering something into other Octavia’s ear. Based on the way the other Tavi was blushing it must have been something quite livid. Hopefully I would never have to hear it.

“Fine,” I said, “So why did the two of you rush here as soon as you became your costumes? In case you hadn’t noticed I am currently busy trying to sort myself out.”

“Because,” Bon Bon said, sprawling herself out on the couch and displaying her… self, “I’m a bad angel and she’s a boring angel, we need someone to advise, and that lucky mare is you.” Her lips twisted into something that was neither a smile nor a smirk, but something in between, “So just listen to Bon Bon tonight and everything will be wonderful.”

I rolled my eyes, “A tempting offer if you hadn’t already made it clear you were the BAD angel of the duo.”

She pouted, “Just because I am bad doesn’t mean my ideas are bad. They just possess a delicious depravity that Miss Do-Right over there lacks.”

The other Octavia and I exchanged glances, at least we could agree on the fact that neither of us wanted to be involved in this conversation. “That’s your marefriend you’re talking about,” Lyra said, “And if you’d recall, most nights I am the one who holds the whip.”

“Marefriend? I hate being constrained to just one other pony. After all, why limit yourself when there is so much fun to be had in the world?” Bon Bon winked at me, and then turned to wink at the other me, “Either of you want to show a mare a good time?”

“Okay,” I said, hoping to end this conversation as quickly as possible, “If you two want to play the part of my conscience that is fine, but I have to ask that you refrain from discussing the particulars of your relationship and I also have to insist that Bon Bon refrains from propositioning either myself or my other self. Now could you please be quiet while I try to figure out what we should do?”

Everypony in the room nodded after that, and I finally had a few moments to think. So, Discord had turned everypony into their Nightmare Night costume, that much was known. However, his motivations were much more difficult to work out. While it was entirely possible that all of this was a prank, it struck my sensibilities as far too simplistic. Why just have a laugh when you could instead have a laugh and take over Equestria? Certainly, the former was possible, I just didn’t consider it to be likely. Then, working under the assumption that this was part of some coup he had been plotting, how did this action benefit him?

The most obvious answer was that it caused chaos, a lot of it. If the spell wasn’t just localized to Ponyville, then every city in Equestria, except Manehattan, would be in a state of utter pandemonium. As I pondered, another, slightly less obvious, motive occurred to me, by transforming everypony into their costume, he would be able to-

“Girls, we need to find the Bearers and make sure they are alright, if there is any chance we can undo this, we have to make sure they are safe and get them to the Elements. Hopefully, they will still work even if the Bearers aren’t quite themselves.”

“That sounds like a long shot,” Bon Bon said, “You should probably just stay in here, in bed with lovely company to keep you warm. I could certainly be persuaded to fill that void.” She licked her lips vivaciously and I struggled not to do anything uncivil such as smashing my hoof through her face or regurgitating my lunch. Instead, I just ignored her.

“Right, so Lyra or other Octavia, do you have any ideas on how to proceed?”

“Well,” the other me said, “As much as I hate agreeing with that deviant, I feel it would be for the best if we avoided going outside. I, for one, don’t wish to die in this town. And if we must go outside, I would prefer to do so after things have had a chance to die down.”

“And by ‘die down’ you mean let half the town tear the other half apart?” I asked, still struggling to keep myself (my actual self, not my other self) calm, “That’s absolutely morally reprehensible, how can you be me?”

“For starter’s dear,” she said, sniffing and turning her nose up slightly, “We haven’t determined which one of us is the original and which one is the duplicate.” Even though both Lyra and Bon Bon needed no prompting to determine which one of us was the proper Octavia, I thought. “Second of all, we have no idea if any harms done while the spell is in effect will be permanent. For all we know, tomorrow morning everything could go back to being absolutely fine and this little adventure you have planned will be entirely for naught.”

I rolled my eyes, “Duly noted other Octavia, now Lyra, would you care to share your thoughts?”

“Of course, I will have to disagree with Bon Bon and… uhmm, what should we call the other you? Other Octavia is just a bit wordy.”

“It’s fine,” I said, “I am proper Octavia and she is the copy.”

“Or vice versa,” Vinyl’s version of me added, “I would appreciate not being referred to as the other Octavia all night.”

“Right,” Lyra said after a brief pause, “Well, how about we call you Octy, and then the Octavia in bandages can be called Tavi. Is that okay?”

Both I and my double nodded.

“Great, now that that’s settled, I do agree with Tavi, we need to act, but I feel it would be for the best if we didn’t just go outside blindly. Like Octy said, we don’t really know what we’re up against and we won’t get anywhere by acting impulsively. So how are we going to get information?”

“Couldn’t you just fly?” I asked, gesturing towards her wings.

“Oh, right,” she said, giving her wings one experimental flap, “Sorry, still haven’t quite gotten used to them. That sounds good. I will go and check things out, and if I’m not back in an hour then I guess you should start making other plans. And Tavi,” she looked at me, “Could you keep an eye on Bon Bon while I’m gone, I don’t want her to do anything she will regret when this is all over.”

I nodded and looked over at Lyra’s marefriend, only to find she had wrapped one foreleg around Octy. “You two, cease this flirtation immediately.” I got up and took several steps towards them, my attempt to appear intimidating undermined by my wincing. “While I expected such behavior from Bon Bon, I certainly wouldn’t expect somepony claiming to be me fall to fall for somepony so tawdry. No offense to your marefriend intended, Lyra,” I said.

“It’s fine,” Lyra said as Octy moved to cover her head with her forehooves, “I understand that Bon Bon isn’t acting like her normal self at the moment, and for that matter, neither am I.”

“I’m sorry,” Octy said, “But underneath my calm and collected exterior is a boiling cauldron of barely contained lust that I hate to acknowledge.” Once again, I considered destroying my inferior doppelganger, and once again my hoof was stayed for fear of inadvertently harming Vinyl. If it was anypony else who had been transformed into me, this besmircher of my good name would be wiped off the face of Equestria.

“Just… don’t do anything either of you will regret once you get back to your normal selves,” I said.

Octy harrumphed at that, while Bon Bon just licked on a lollipop in a very… interesting fashion. With all that settled, Lyra flew out the door and I went to foalsitting myself.

“So,” Octy said after several minutes, “How exactly did you get those bandages? Is there a story behind it?”

I nodded, “One that you would know if you were the proper Octavia, but I am willing to indulge you and tell the story.” As I spoke, Bon Bon sat down next to Octy, resting her head against my double’s shoulder. To Vinyl’s credit, her impression of me had the good sense to blush at the unexpected physical contact. Still, I would have never permitted somepony I wasn’t romantically involved with to be so forward with me. I made it a point to correct some of her assumptions about me after… And now the two of them were engaged in a passionate embrace as their lips locked. Perhaps I should have gone information gathering with Lyra. Yes, I wasn’t able to fly, but at least I wouldn’t be forced to witness myself and my marefriend make out with one of my friends. I shuttered at the duo’s brazenness before clearing my throat in an attempt to gain their attention. It failed.

“Alright, you two,” I said after several more unsuccessful throat clearing attempts, “If you are quite finished, I will be more than happy to tell you about how I received these bandages if you promise to behave yourself for the duration of the story.”

The both of them nodded, and I proceeded to relate every last event that happened to me since I had arrived in Ponyville. Yes, the story was far longer than it needed to be, and for the most part, it served to distract the two while I waited for the hour to pass. Just as my voice was about to give out, Lyra returned.

“Welcome back,” I said, nodding appreciatively as she walked back into the house, “I don’t think I could have spoken much longer. Did you find anything useful?”

She nodded, “Yes, mostly. As expected, there is quite a bit of panic and rioting, not to mention several fires, but most of the ponies are heading out to the Everfree Forest. On an unrelated note, having wings is just… the coolest thing, almost as cool as having hands. Imagine if I could have hands AND wings.’ To emphasize her point, she flapped her wings several times.

I closed my eyes, “Focus Lyra, while I appreciate your enthusiasm, you were sent out to ascertain the severity of the situation, not to enjoy a pleasure flight.”

Lyra blushed and nodded, “Yes, you’re absolutely right, I am sorry for letting my enthusiasms get the better of me.” It seemed the new angelic Lyra was slightly more manageable than her normal self. “Anyways, like I said, most ponies seem to be heading to the Everfree Forest, more specifically, they are heading to the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. Oh! And I saw Discord leading them there.”

“Wonderful,” I said under my breath, “I suppose that is where we have to bring the Bearers after we collect them.”

“Excuse me, but why would we be heading into the danger? That seems like the sort of thing we would want to avoid,” Octy said.

“I disagree,” Bon Bon said, grinning, “Walking into the spooky forest filled with monsters sounds like a wonderful time. And we get to meet a chaos god too. Fun, fun, fun.”

Lyra moved to take a seat on one of the seat cushions placed on the floor, “I hate agreeing with my marefriend and current archnemesis, but if we want to stop this then we should probably go and get the Bearers to Discord.”

“Both of your opinions are noted.” I moved to look out one of the windows and noted the pillars of smoke filling the sky. “On the other hoof, perhaps it would be for the best if we stayed inside tonight. Octy was probably right when she said all of this would be fine by dawn.” I swallowed nervously and worked to manage my breathing.

“Excuse me,” Lyra said, “But weren’t you pretty dead set on playing hero when I left? What changed?”

“Nothing,” I said, “I am certainly not concerned by the fact that a large portion of town seems to be on fire, and the last time I was around a fire… I’m not afraid.” I am good at many things, but lying convincingly isn’t one of them. At least not when it involves my discomfort around fire.

Lyra moved to pat me reassuringly. “Hey, it’s fine. There aren’t that many fires, and I am sure we can get to the Everfree without getting to close to them. Besides, we can’t stay here, there is kind of a gang of monsters prowling the streets and I think they are following me. Probably should have opened with that.”

As if to punctuate her last line, a loud banging came from the door. “Yes,” I said, quickly moving on to my hooves, “That probably would have been my opening line. How many monsters are there?”

“Lots,” Lyra said, taking a peep outside. “I spot a wolfpony, a couple of zombies, and… is that a robot? Also, there are a few Grim Reaper Ponies. Should probably steer well clear of them. Hey, do we have a back door?”

I nodded my head as the front door began to splinter, taking several steps towards the kitchen before doubling over in pain. “Lyra, is there any chance you could find my wheelchair? I highly doubt I can make the trek to the Everfree Forest without it, even with my pain pills,” I said through clenched teeth as I retreated into the fetal position.

Lyra nodded, heading off to Vinyl’s storage closet while Octy and Bon Bon headed towards the backdoor, leaving me to writhe in agony on the living room carpet. A second later, the door gave another tortured groan as the hinges and bolts struggled to keep the door closed. “Lyra, I hate to rush you, but I feel leaving sooner rather than later might be for the best. I don’t know what would happen if we were to die tonight, but I would prefer not to find out.”

“I’m doing the best I can,” she said, working to pull the wheelchair out of the massive pile of debris Vinyl had allowed to build up in her storage closet, “But the wheelchair doesn’t want to budge.”

“Then just get out of here, Lyra. The others have already left and I don’t think the door will last much longer.”

“Not going to happen,” she said from the depths of our storage closet, “I am the good angel remember? And leaving you behind strikes me as something Bon Bon would do, which I guess she did.”

“Point acknowledged,” I said, struggling to my feet before collapsing again, “But conversely it wouldn’t be very nice of you to leave Octy alone with Bon Bon. In fact, I would prefer it if you looked after her instead of staying behind with me.”

“Well,” Lyra said hesitantly as she walked out of the closet, “I suppose you have a point but-”

Lyra was prevented from finishing that thought as the door shattered after giving one last groan and a horde of monsters poured in. She moved to stand over me protectively. “Stay back, all of you,” she said, “I know some magic and I’m not afraid to use it.”

I groaned, “Lyra, I don’t think the zombie ponies or… whatever that big green angry looking pony is will listen to reason. Do you think we can convince them to fight each other?”

She shook her head as the hordes slowly advanced, cutting off our exit.

“Of course not,” I muttered, “That would be too convenient. I suppose I always knew I would die in this town, I just didn’t think it would be at the hooves of a marauding horde of monsters.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Lyra said, “As long as we draw breath, there is still hope. We will persevere.” To punctuate her point, she fired a bolt of arcane energy at one of the Reaper Ponies who crumpled up the second the spell made contact with him/her. I felt the faintest glimmer of hope that we might manage to make it out of the situation as Lyra fired another bolt of energy at our attackers.

Unfortunately, this Reaper Pony had the presence of mind to dodge Lyra’s attack, which sailed past him before colliding with one of the walls and proceeded to obliterate it. Her next volley of attacks met with similarly mixed results. While she managed to bring down at least three of our attackers, the hordes continued to advance, and my house managed to accrue a vast amount of structural damage. Soon, she had exhausted her magical supply and stood defeated in the charred remains of my living room.

“At least you gave it a good effort,” I said, before closing my eyes and hoping that whichever monster got to me first would at least have the decency to be quick about their business, as I would prefer it if my death was at least moderately painless. As I prepared for the end, my thoughts turned to Vinyl and I hoped that she would be able to move on with her life after this terrible night was over. On the upside, I thought as I tried to ignore the sounds being made by the rampaging monsters, at least I wouldn’t be spending any more time in Ponyville.

Unfortunately, it seems I have to stop my writing here for the day as I am getting a rather intolerable hoof cramp and it is impairing my ability to write. With any luck, it will subside before the day is over and I will be able to finish this entry, but until then I feel it would be for the best if I went back to lying in bed. It would certainly be better than writing a completely superfluous paragraph about why I had to stop writing and… Dammit.

A Nightmare Night's Dream (Part Two)

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Unfortunately, I was unable to resume writing yesterday, as Vinyl thought it for the best if I stayed in bed and recovered as opposed to continuing to write. My hoof is feeling slightly better, although it is still somewhat sore. Vinyl says if the problem persists, I should see a doctor, but I see no need to bother this town’s medical professionals with what is nothing more an unusually persistent hoofcramp, now where was I?

Oh yes, I was completely unable to move and facing certain death as a horde of monster ponies slowly advanced towards me. How could I have ever forgotten? ~~If I ever expected somepony else to read this diary, I would feel absolutely terrible for leaving on a cliffhanger.~~ As our enemies closed in, I made peace with the fact that I would die in this town, although at this point, facing the inevitability of my demise had become something of a routine, and a part of my mind that was less concerned with the possibility of my immediate demise than the rest of me attempted to tally up just how many times I had been certain I was about to die since arriving in Ponyville before finally settling on three.

Thankfully, when all seemed lost, the front window shattered and a white mare wearing a black mask and blouse leapt through, a rapier floating beside her. Before she had finished landing, her rapier slashed through the nearest Grim Reaper Pony and nicked off the head of one of the zombie ponies, “Rejoice, you ruffians, for today you can say you locked blades with the Dread Pirate Rarity. Unfortunately for you, you don’t have a blade and I don’t feel like leaving you around to tell the tale. As the monsters turned to face her, several more found themselves suddenly impaled by the Dread pirate, and finally the only assailant standing was the large green pony.

“Well, my brutish friend, it seems it is just you and I left to fight in glorious honorable combat,” she said, brandishing the rapier towards the hulking green pony, “You know you can’t beat me, and I have no intention of harming you Fluttershy, so why don’t you just calm down?”

The hulking pony who was… apparently Fluttershy responded with a roar that caused the foundations of the house to shake and tremble. “Very well,” Rarity said with a sigh, “As much as I don’t wish to harm you, I simply cannot let you injure innocent ponies.” As she spoke, she drove her rapier through the green pony’s left foreleg, causing the behemoth to topple to the ground, “Again, I am terribly sorry, and once you are back to your old self, I promise I will make it up to you.” She turned to face us, “Now then, you two, I suggest we take this opportunity to leave before the Reaper Ponies start reforming or Miss Fluttershy recovers from her crippled knee.”

“Uhmm, yes,” Lyra said, “Well, as much as we’d like to leave, Tavi can’t really walk at the moment. I was trying to find her wheelchair since she kind of can’t move without it.”

“I see,” Rarity said, her horn glowing “Then I suppose we shall just have to improvise.” Before I could even say a word, she had picked me up in her telekinetic field and dropped me onto her back. “Do try to hold on dear, I would hate for you to fall off while monsters are giving chase,” she looked behind her at the several Grim Reaper Ponies who were beginning to rebuild themselves, “Which, I believe they will be doing shortly.”

I groaned in acknowledgment, and we were off, racing out of the back door as I wrapped my forehooves around Rarity’s neck, clinging on as if my life depended upon it, which I suppose it did. I briefly considered asking her to slow down, before deciding it would be better for me to be ~~in absolute agony~~ uncomfortable during our trek than for us to be devoured by the monsters which were sure to follow us. I looked behind me, and already were a horde of tentacle monstrosities and several more robots were giving chase. Who in Equestria would dress up as a tentacle beast for Nightmare Night? Vampire, I could understand, wolfponies are perfectly reasonable, and I would expect to see at least a few mummies, but tentacles travesties? Just… why? I’d have to ask Vinyl about it once she was back to her normal self.

“Oh, Rarity,” I said, “There is another copy of me running around town, would it be possible for us to find her? I don’t want Vinyl to be harmed even if she is being an absolute pain in the flank right now.”

“Of course, darling,” Rarity said as we galloped through the streets, “I will drop you off at the Boutique and then go out looking for her again. Miss Heartstrings, if you care to accompany me, I would appreciate having the extra support in case I run into anything truly nasty.” She flipped her mane dramatically, "Even the Dread Pirate Rarity can be overwhelmed, although it hasn't happened yet."

Lyra nodded enthusiastically, “Of course, we can pick up Bon Bon on the way, the two are still probably close together and…” She trailed off in thought, apparently recalling the two’s previous interactions, “We need to find them right now, before Bon Bon and Vinyl do anything they will regret when returned to normal.”

“I will be happy to, but first we should drop Octavia off at the Boutique, I don’t think she will be of much use to us right now, and I would hate to needlessly endanger her.”

“So somehow dropping me off in your boutique to fend for myself is less dangerous than bringing me with you?” I asked, still struggling to hold on.

“Oh, did I not mention that I’ve converted the boutique into a makeshift fortress? As soon as I saw what was happening I started fortifying, and now everypony who decided not to dress up as some horrifying monster can stay there. Well, there or the Everfree.”

“The Everfree?” Lyra asked, struggling to keep pace with the encumbered Rarity.

“Yes, darling, Discord is allowing everypony to seek asylum in the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters and celebrate the holiday with him. Most ponies went with him, and once I have finished patrolling the town I will probably follow along. As they say, there is safety in numbers, and there is also safety in having an incredibly powerful chaos god protect you, even if he is a bit of a jerk.”

“You do realize that he caused this, don’t you?” I asked as we neared the Boutique.

“It does seem plausible, but he is also offering everypony protection, and so far the offer seems to be genuine. Besides,” Rarity said with a laugh, “I’d rather deal with one monster than a town full of them.”

I let out a groan as the doors to the boutique were flung open and Rarity quickly lowered me onto the floor, causing another spasm of pain to shoot up my side. By the time I had managed to recover, Rarity and Lyra had departed, and I was in a veritable madhouse. There was a cowpony with a rifle slung over her back (Based on her orange coat and blonde mane, I assumed she was Applejack), a rock star of some sort, a stallion in a suit (Vinyl suggests he was a character from a series of plays called Mad Stallions?), a pink gypsy (Two guesses as to who that could be), and a pair of ponies who actually appeared to be somewhat normal. The first was a white unicorn with a pink mane and a picture of a smiling sun emblazoned on her flank, and the other was a midnight blue pegasus with a crescent moon for a cutie mark. Apparently, the pain pills convinced me that the two of them were the princesses in disguse.

“Hello,” the gypsified Pinkie Pie said as she approached me, “I see you come here after great trial and stand here on the brink of despair. I bring you news that you must endure.”

“Wait, what?” I asked as I attempted to get on my hooves.

“Your position in tonight’s events is key, but to succeed will risk insanity.”

I blinked, “Do you actually know what you are saying Pinkie or are you just trying to rhyme?”

“Just trying to rhyme,” she said happily, before bouncing away. Apparently some things even Discord’s magic can’t change.

“Well, that was enlightening,” I said as I finally got up on my hooves and took a few tentative steps towards the ponies I assumed were the Princesses. “Your Highnesses,” I bowed my head towards them, “What do you have planned?”

They stared at me in confusion, “Are you talking to us? We aren’t royalty, we’re just normal ponies like everypony else.” Of course they were, I thought, because obviously the two ponies in Equestria who might be the most useful right now, were currently laboring under the delusion that they were normal. I paused to consider exactly why some ponies remembered who they were before the spell hit and others were convinced that they were their costume. Maybe it was because some ponies had one specific pony in mind when making their costume, like Vinyl, and others had a more abstract idea, like Lyra and Bon Bon, although that still didn’t explain why Rarity seemed to remember her past life.

“Of course you aren’t,” I said, managing not to roll my eyes, “It is just a complete coincidence that the two of you have cutie marks and colorations similar to those of the Princesses, and if I had to guess, you are sisters as well, am I right?”

They nodded, “But that doesn’t mean we are the princesses, we just happen to have cutie marks that are similar to theirs,” Not-Celestia said.

“Sister, why does everyone keep confusing us with the royal sisters, we are mere commoners, like everypony else.”

“Well, for starters, most ponies don’t refer to themselves as commoners,” I said, trying my very best not to sound too condescending when addressing Equestria’s royal sisters.

Not-Celestia shushed her sister. “Not now, Moonbeam, everypony is just under a lot of pressure right now, and they are looking for anypony who might be able to help them.” The princess then bowed her head towards me, “While we might not be royalty, we would be more than happy to offer what little aid we have.”

“Wonderful,” I said, “Feel free to join me when I’m storming the castle in the hopes of convincing a chaos god to change everypony back to normal.” Well, everypony but me, I thought, but I saw no need to bring that up, it seemed rather tacky.

“You need only call on us to receive our aid. Although we may not be royalty, we will do anything to defend Equestria,” Not-Celestia said, and any doubt I had about her being one of the royal pony sisters evaporated.

“Thank you,” I said, suddenly feeling another twinge in my side and moving to grab another Oxycoltin. “Also, is there any chance we have a wheelchair or something similar around here?”

“I don’t think so,” Moonbeam said, “But I did see a fainting couch, would that work?”

I nodded my head and Not-Celestia’s horn became ensconced in a magical energy as the fainting couch flew down the stairs. “Whoever owned this had it enchanted so that it can travel long distances quickly without expending much magical energy. It is a very difficult enchantment to create, but I don’t see why anyone would ever need such a thing.”

“You obviously don’t know the pony who owns the boutique that well,” I said, before quickly amending the statement, “Or at least, you don’t when she isn’t a swashbuckling pirate gallivanting around town.”

“We will have to take your word for it,” Not-Tia said, “Now, we must join the Masked Ranger in guarding the boutique, it would not do to allow the fiends outside to breach our walls.”

I nodded my head absent mindedly at that, before sitting down on the summoned chaise, and watched as the ponies who insisted they weren’t princesses and the Masked Ranger (Applejack) opened the door to the boutique and fought off the monsters that had gathered outside. Rangerjack grabbed the stock of the rifle with her mouth and fired several rounds out into the crowd while Not-Celestia caused massive bursts of light to litter the battlefield. In a few seconds most of the monsters had dispersed and the boutique was no longer besieged.

“Most ‘a the critters aren’t too bright, so a few loud noises and bright flashy lights tend to scatter ‘em. As for the stragglers, well, we do what we gotta do, though hopefully this whole mess will get undone, and anypony we injured will get back to bein’ okay.” As she spoke Rangerjack frowned ever so slightly and turned to look back at the battlefield.”

“So then there have been a few creatures that couldn’t be properly reasoned with?” I asked.

She nodded, “Like ah said, ah hope they can get back ta bein’ okay.”

I attempted to extend a hoof to pat her on the shoulder before quickly collapsing back into the chaise, “I’m sure that if we can break this spell, we can certainly make Discord amenable to restoring everypony to their proper states through threats of using the Elements of Harmony.”

Rangerjack rubbed the back of her head with one hoof, “Uhmm, ‘bout that sugarcube, there might be a bit of an issue, cause…”

Before she could finish her sentence, the doors to the boutique flew open, and the Dread Pirate Rarity flew in with Lyra, Bon Bon, and Octy in tow. “I found your friends,” she said, “They were surrounded by thirty of the most terrifying monsters you had ever seen but I gallantly swooped in and fought them all off, rescuing the distressed damsels.” She turned and smiled at somepony nopony else could see, before performing a flourish for her audience, and I stifled the urge to groan. It seemed her costume somehow managed to make her more dramatic.

“Well, thank you for rescuing Octy and Bon Bon,” I said, bowing my head in gratitude, “Now what is the plan.”

“I believe it would be beneficial if I stayed where it is safe, the world would be far poorer without me in it,” my doppelganger said, her ego inflating with every passing second.

“If everypony is heading to the ancient castle, then I feel we should head there and try to get some answers. At the very least, there is safety and numbers.” Lyra said, continuing to serve as the voice of reason. “Also, maybe somepony else dressed as a human!” Mostly.

“Again, I have to agree with my counterpart, the more ponies around the greater our chances of…” She paused to lick her lips, “Revelry.” And Bon Bon continued having a terribly debauched one track mind. Hooray.

“Well,” Rarity said, "I was planning on moving everypony to the castle sooner or later, so I suppose it might as well be sooner. And like your sensible friend said, it might help us put a stop to Discord.”

“Shouldn’t we fetch the Elements before we leave?” I asked, “I assume their presence is the main reason Discord is being allowed to roam Equestria freely, a means of enforcing his good behavior.”

Rarity paused in thought for a few seconds, Applejack prepared to say something but the Dread Pirate quickly shushed her. “Yes, the Elements were one of the initial reasons we decided to release Discord. However, it was his friendship with Fluttershy that ultimately enabled his reformation.”

“Well, since Miss Fluttershy is currently a hulking behemoth of a pony, I suppose we will just have to make do,” I said, “The Elements will still work on him right? He didn’t develop some sort of immunity?”

“No,” Rarity said, her hoof now firmly entrenched in Rangerjack’s mouth, “The Elements would still work, but we might have trouble using them on him as they require all six of us to be both present and our true selves, at least that’s how Twilight explained it to us, which presents a few problems. Chiefly that three of us would be hard to corral and the other three are no longer our true selves. For instance, the very idea of giving away my hard won gems strikes me as a ridiculous proposition, and Pinkie Pie is being slightly more somber than usual. Applejack is the only one of us whose virtue is still wholly intact.”

“Also, we had to get rid of the Elements during that big invasion from the Everfree Forest a few months back. Don’t know why Miss Rarity didn’t bring it up sooner.”

“Because, Applejack darling, Celestia said that any information about the loss of the Elements was to be a state secret. You do understand the concept of a secret don’t you?” Rarity said, dashing any hopes I had that there might be a somewhat decent resolution to this whole debacle.

“Ah know what a secret is, but ah ain’t comfortable lyin’ about it. Tavi here asked ‘bout the Elements and I told the honest truth.”

“If you paid attention,” Rarity began, taking a step closer to the earth pony, “Not a word in my explanation was false, it just deflected attention from the main issue. Being honest doesn’t mean you can’t use tact.”

“Hah! You used one of them there double negatives you keep complaining to me about using!”

“That’s…” Rarity groaned, “Is now really the time to bring this up? The fate of the nation is on the line.”

“Well, at least the two of you seem to be somewhat normal,” I said with a sigh, “Maybe there is hope for the rest of us.”

Rarity tapped her chin in thought, “I do seem to be feeling somewhat closer to my true self than I had previously. Perhaps being in familiar situations weakens the effect of the magic. I will have to ask Twilight about it when she is no longer trying to kill us.”

She must have seen my confused expression and continued, “Oh, did I not mention that? Twilight Sparkle decided to dress as Nightmare Moon due to a shortage of historically prominent alicorns, and she felt uncomfortable dressing as somepony who she was on a first name basis with, so now she is trying to bring about nighttime eternal and end life in Equestria as we know it. If I were you, I would avoid heading anywhere near the library.”

“That… sounds like a good idea,” I said after several seconds of thought, “Now in the interest of time, I feel we should start heading towards the castle and discuss a plan on the way. I would prefer to end this situation as quickly as possible.” A column of orange light several blocks away grabbed my attention, “Preferably before the whole town burns down.”

After several seconds of thought, a majority of ponies nodded their heads in agreement, with the only counterpart being my doppelganger. Because of course she would. I reminded myself that after all this was over, I would have to have a long talk with Vinyl about how she thought I would behave in emergency situations. Although to give my marefriend some credit, a few weeks ago, there was every chance that I might have opted to hide and wait for more daring ponies to engage in the heroics, and it was only my concern for my friends' well-being that I was stepping up to the proverbial plate.

Still, being out trying to do something productive struck me as a better alternative than staying in the boutique, especially as I noticed the fire I spotted earlier was now getting dangerously close to the boutique and an involuntary shiver went up with my spine. “Actually, let’s just get out of here now, I don’t care what we do, but I don’t want to be in the boutique when it burns down for a second time. So come on, let’s go.”

The pony formerly known as Celestia nodded her head, “Of course, by now most ponies have either fled the town, are staying in the boutique, or are still prowling the streets, and like you say, the sooner we can get there, the sooner we can stop this madness and restore my kingdom to its proper state.”

I stared at her, “And you’re sure you’re not Celestia.”

She blinked, “I meant my kingdom in the sense that it is the kingdom that I live in and love. Now enough discussion, it is time we move.”

After that, our makeshift group quickly organized itself, and our expedition into the Everfree began. Rarity took the lead, with my chaise staying just behind her, wrapped in both her and Not-Celestia’s aura, with the two taking care to keep an equal distance between each other to, as I understand it, keep the chaise from immediately flying to one or the other and instead keeping it in perfect equilibrium between them. To my side walked Lyra, Bon Bon, and my counter, with Moonbeam and Rangerjack walking next to Not-Celestia. “Has anyone devised a plan for what we do once we reach the outskirts of Ponyville?”

“Well,” Rarity said, “I figured I would just walk into, wave my sword around and get Discord to change everypony back to normal. The chaos god is no match for the magnificence of the Dread Pirate Rarity.”

I nodded my head, “Speaking of which, why exactly DID you dress as a pirate for Nightmare Night? I didn’t imagine you dressing as a swashbuckler.”

“First of all darling, I’m not dressing as A pirate, I am dressing as THE pirate, or more accurately, the Dread Pirate Roberts, from the Princess Bridle, have you read it?”

I shook my head, “I’m sorry, I haven’t really had time to read any bit store romance novels lately.”

Four of the ponies around me gasped audibly. “Bit store romance novel?” Rarity asked, “The Princess Bridle is one of the most wonderful novels ever written. It has everything, fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, miracles, and simply the most splendid romance ever put to pen. Why, I haven’t met anyone who didn’t like it, and I thought it would be a splendid idea to dress as the swashbuckling hero while adding my own interpretation to the character. Hence, the Dread Pirate Rarity.”

“That sounds… interesting,” I said, “Well, if we get through tonight I might have to read it, I will certainly have enough time on my hooves as I recuperate.”

“Then I will bring it over as soon as I finish vanquishing Discord,” Rarity said, brandishing her sword and waving it about.

“Did this character have a somewhat annoying sense of bravado that infuses everything she does?” I asked.

Rarity turned back to face me and flashed a smile, “Darling, it’s not bravado when you can back your claims up. It’s confidence.”

Well, I thought as I looked around at the rest of my travelling companions, between her and the ranger, we might have two competent fighters and then… seven ponies that are varying degrees of dead weight, with me sitting at the bottom of the usefulness pyramid, being carried around by ponies far more competent than I, and I began to question why exactly I was here. Yes, I had met with some version of Discord several days ago and he had mentioned that I would do something to foil his plots, but of course, it was entirely possible that he had lied, it didn’t seem out of character for a chaos god. In fact, it seemed more probable that he made something up than the idea that he violated several laws of physics to annoy me. And if, by some miracle, he was telling the truth, then how exactly was I going to stop him while being incapable of doing anything more than yelling at him and hobbling around. I sunk deeper into my chaise as we entered into the Everfree, growing lost in my thoughts.

“Lyra,” I asked, “What exactly am I doing here?”

“Well, you are coming to help us stop Discord and save Ponyville,” she paused for a second, “Or was that a more general what are we doing here? You know, because my angelic powers might somehow grant me knowledge of the purpose of ponykind, and you want some divine insight? Because if that’s the case, then I am sad to say I don’t know.”

I shook my head, “I just wanted to know what my purpose is in this little expedition. I’m not exactly cut out for fighting chaos gods… or much of anything right now, actually.”

“Oh…” She said, pausing to think, “Well, I mean, we are evacuating Ponyville, and I’m sure you can do something. Ooh! Maybe you can play a song to grant us moral support. Our party needs a bard.”

“If I had my cello and I was capable of carrying it, possibly. I’m afraid my singing voice is nothing to write home about.”

“Hmm,” she tapped her chin as we walked deeper into the Everfree, in the distance, I heard something howl, “I mean, you helped bring us all together and point us in the right direction, so that has to count for something. On our own, Bon Bon, Octy, and I would still be walking around Ponyville trying to figure out to do, or at least, I’d be trying to figure out what to do. Bon Bon has no shortage of ideas right now, but none of them are particularly useful.” To emphasize her point, she gestured to Bon Bon who was currently trying to seduce the Royal Pony Sisters. I smiled, trying to imagine her reaction once everypony was back in their proper state.

“I suppose,” I said, my spirit lifting slightly, “It’s nice thinking that I haven’t been a complete burden tonight.”

“Never,” Lyra said, “Besides, we might need you for planning purposes or whatever, I mean, you actually seemed to have some knowledge about what was going on when we were all freaking out.”

“Only because Discord might be toying with me for his own amusement,” I said with a sigh, “Either that or I am actually going to defeat him somehow, probably the former.”

“Hey, maybe you still have a part to play in this before everything is said and done. I mean, maybe not, but don’t sell yourself short,” Lyra said, “At least you are giving me someone to talk to while we travel, so that’s something.”

“Thank you again,” I said, laughing, “It’s a shame we haven’t done more together, you really are a kind pony.”

“Of course,” she said, flapping her white feathery wings, “I’m an angel, I think we have to be pleasant. Besides, I know that most ponies find my interest in humans odd, even Bon Bon thinks my obsession is crazy, and she’s my marefriend.”

Yes, I did find her interest odd, but she wasn’t an altogether bad sort and I had been neglecting our friendship. Perhaps it was time for me to rectify that mistake. “Still, I shouldn’t have held it against you, we all have our foibles, some of which are odder than others. For instance, I feel compelled to write down everything that happens,” I said.

“Hey, lots of ponies keep journals, that’s not odd or weird or a foible or whatever you called it,” she said, patting me on the head in an attempt to be reassuringly.

“Lyra, in the past two weeks I have filled up two entire journals. My daily entries take at least two hours to write and that is if the day is mostly uneventful. I will probably spend all day tomorrow just writing down what happened tonight and then I will spend an hour the day after writing down what I did the day before.” While the statement might have been true, I feel the need to point out that I don’t find my proper record keeping to be excessive in the slightest.

“Okay,” she said, pausing, “That is a touch excessive.”

“Exactly,” I said, “But you don’t hold it against me do you?”

She shook her head, “Of course not. We are friends.”

“That’s what I mean, we all have our foibles, and it was foalish of me to hold your interest in anthropology against you, in fact-”

Our party stopped as the howling from earlier came back, seeming to surround us from all sides. “Stay back everypony,” Rarity said, drawing her sword to her side, “I will handle this.”

As the group (sans me, obviously) stepped back, a dozen massive beasts, looking like nothing so much as bulls fashioned from steel and iron jumped out of the underbrush, surrounding the entire group. “Actually,” Rarity said, “Stay close to each other and don’t let them get behind you. Lyra, Sundancer (I assumed that was the pony I had been referring to as Not-Celestia), Moonbeam, and Applejack, make sure nopony else gets hurt. I shall have the fiends dispatched momentarily.”

Applejack rolled her eyes, “Course your majesty, anything else we serfs can do for you.”

Rarity laughed as she ran her sword through the breast plate of the first beast “Applejack, darling, I hardly think now is the time for sass, especially since… Look out!”

One of the monsters had jumped towards Applejack, its claws extended and its fangs bared. The ranger simply grabbed her gun, pointed and… the mechanical bull ceased to be a threat. Also, several coats were dirtied with engine oil.

The ponies entered into battle and the several ponies with minimal combat experience huddled close to each other as our ring of defenders kept the dire wolves from closing in on us. After several seconds and one more fatality, the nine remaining attackers backed up and circled around, searching for any weaknesses in our defenses this probably would have worked out then if my doppelganger hadn’t started to panic.

“I knew this was all some sort of mistake,” she said, “Everything would have been fine if I just stayed inside, but these ponies just had to drag me outside and bring me along on some pointless adventure. What do you all even need a cellist for? I’m… I’m not going to die here.”

Lyra and I tried to grab her, but before any of us could do so, she had bolted from the circle and was running back towards Ponyville, past Applejack and Moonbeam and straight towards one of the iron bulls. After that, things happened quickly, the other bulls lunged towards the defenders while the one Octy ran into closed in on her. I looked around. An iron bull was stomping around wildly on top of Vinyl as she struggled to dodge the beasts hooves, Rarity and the other defenders were working to fight off a renewed assault, and the rest of our group was in no position to do anything. I would very much like to say that my next decision was a calm rational one, but in truth, I only have snippets of what happened next. The feeling of the dirt against my hooves as I galloped, the air blowing against my face as I leapt into the sky, somepony (later confirmed to be me) screaming in absolute rage, and bone and steel shattering as my forehoof collided with the iron bull's face. Next, I was on top of the dire wolf, raining down a series of blows upon the beast while shouting, with a blow punctuating each word, “You. Will. Not. Touch. My. Marefriend!”

The last blow knocked the creature unconscious and I quickly amended my statement, “Even if she is being absolutely insufferable right now.” After I finished, my body quickly remembered the fact that it was broken in several places and I fell over, writhing and screaming and cursing myself for charging the metal bull thingy like a complete fool. What in Equestria made me think that I could go hoof to hoof with a monster when I could barely get out of bed? Especially since its hooves were made of iron. At least the bull had fared worse than I did, I thought as I wrapped my newly shattered forehooves towards my chest my chest.

Several minutes later, the rest of the group had gathered around me as the last of the dire wolves retreated into the forest. “Y’all right there, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, as the others used their magic to lift me to the chaise. “I mean, I know yere not all right, but that just looked… You punched out a bull made of metal.”

I wanted to say, “I am aware of what I did, I was there,” but all I managed was a pathetic, mewling whimpering noise while my eyes watered up. How had I even managed to punch out the bull in the first place? Actually, how did I manage to leave the chaise in the first place? I let out another groan as our group resumed their trek and my forehoof searched for another pain pill, cursing myself all the while for being such a monumental idiot.

“Perhaps I misjudged you,” my doppelganger said as we continued our journey, “While I still don’t believe you are the real version of us, you have proven to be possessed of admirable courage and bravery, and perhaps it would not be so terrible if you were the real Octavia Melody.”

“Thank you,” I said, lifting my head up from the chaise, “And for what it’s worth…” I shook my head, unable to finish the thought. “No, you make an absolutely awful me, but once we put a stop to this you will make a wonderful Vinyl Scratch.”

She frowned, “That isn’t quite what I expected you to say. I imagined you would say something to the effect of ‘it wouldn’t be terrible if you were me either,’ not a confirmation that you thought me terrible.”

“I know,” I said as we walked deeper into the forest, “But since the night started, you’ve fought me at every turn, attempted to hide in Ponyville, and almost gotten yourself killed. While I am certainly not a noteworthy pony, I am doing everything I can to help in this situation.” Although to be fair, if Vinyl hadn’t been affected I probably would have just stayed home, apparently my new found altruism only extended towards Vinyl and had she been unaffected, I would have been happy to let Ponyville burn. On reflection, Vinyl’s Octavia was probably more accurate than I had originally thought.

Octy tapped her chin as we walked, clearly deep in thought, “You have a point, I suppose, and I will endeavor to perform admirably the next time. It will not do if my doppelganger is a better version of me than I am.”

At least that’s something, I thought as I nodded my head in agreement. If she was willing to try to be better, then I could at least play along with her fantasy. “And we can’t have that, especially when your doppelganger can barely get out of bed.”

“Then it seems we are agreed on something, we shall both work to be the best Octavia possible, and… if you are my doppelganger, which I think is rather likely, I would still enjoy being friends with you once you are back to normal. That is, assuming you aren’t a DJ or something scandalous like that,” Octy said and I struggled not to smile.

“Yes, I suppose one of us befriending a DJ would be rather scandalous, I don’t know how we could bear to face the public.” I said, doing everything in my power to keep a straight face. Around me, Lyra and Rarity began to giggle, having finally become aware of our conversation.

“Oh, I agree,” Rarity said, “Our dear Miss Octavia is far too elegant and poised to ever harbor any secret tawdry affections for a common DJ.”

“Could you imagine the horror of that? And I bet if they were they would be absolutely adorable together and I’d ask them to go double dating with Bon Bon and I, and we would go to Anthro Con together… they would be the cutest couple…” Lyra rambled, just missing the joke.

“Yes, quite,” I said in an attempt to silence her, “Rest assured, that I am not a DJ.”

“But this Vinyl Scratch pony you believe me to be, isn’t she?” She said, her face falling.

I nodded.

“The same Vinyl Scratch that you are dating.”

I nodded again.

“And you have all of these beliefs and ideas and memories while I just have a few vague ideas that inform me of who I am… Could it be?”

She stopped, letting out a deafening shriek that stopped our party in their tracks.

“I’m a common DJ, a plebian, possessing all the musical talent of a rock! My entire life is a lie.” She began to sob uncontrollably, before adding to her statement, “Oh, and apparently, I’m not real. But more importantly I’m a DJ!” After that she completely broke down and refused to be moved. Eventually, Rarity added her to the fainting couch, and I head the unpleasant experience of sharing a couch meant for one with my sobbing doppelganger who quickly expanded to fill most of the couch, leaving me pressed between her and the back of the seat, desperately struggling for breath.

Between my head being shoved between a mare and a sofa and said mare sobbing inconsolably, I was left in the dark for most of the trip, only hearing the sounds of sobbing and occasionally somepony’s efforts at consoling her. However, I highly doubted anypony would manage to convince Octy that her being a DJ was somehow bearable… or that her sudden loss of self wasn't as bad as she was making it out to be. Besides, even if she was a DJ, she wasn’t JUST a DJ, she was absolutely the greatest (albeit only) DJ I had ever seen.

“Yes, Vinyl Scratch is a DJ,” I said, pulling my head out of the sofa and patting myself on the back, “But she isn’t just a DJ. She is the greatest DJ I have ever known, and if I am being completely honest, I envy her creative ability. Vinyl takes pre-recorded sounds and turns them into something wholly original that is greater than the sum of its constituents. I wish I was that creative.”

Octy sniffled, “You’re just saying that because you are dating her.”

“You’re right,” I said, “My relationship with Vinyl biases me, but if I can be in a relationship with a DJ, then you must be able to approve of her as well.”

She paused for several moments, mulling over my words, before her mouth twisted into a wan smile. “When put in those terms, it seems I lose a leg to stand on, and as for the other… the idea that we are not the proper Octavia, I cannot fully come to terms with the idea of being completely unmade, but perhaps there is an optimal solution that will allow for Vinyl to return and me to still exist in some capacity. Perhaps I could even meet her one day.”

I shook my head at that, “Even if I could come to terms with the fact that my marefriend would be meeting a more attractive version of me, I have to veto the idea on the grounds that if Vinyl saw two of us together… I am not prepared to cross that bridge.”

“Perhaps that would be for the best,” she said, “And… thank you for helping me even though I’ve been nothing but horrible to you.”

I smiled at her before pushing her off the chaise. “I wasn’t helping you, I was helping myself.”

My doppelganger took that with far too much good cheer for me to be comfortable, but at least she allowed me to have the chaise to myself for the duration of the journey, and my good luck continued as there were no other major calamities as we finished our journey to the abandoned palace. Unfortunately, that bit of good luck dissipated as soon as we finished crossing the rope bridge into the ruins proper, and we gazed upon a revolting tableau. In front of us, ponies and things that were formerly ponies acted with wild abandon, dancing and feasting, tearing each other apart only to be reborn seconds later, made whole again. Music piped in from some unknown source, and the few dancers who were unmolested moved to an alien rhythm that seemed completely removed from what any sane pony might consider dancing (I even accounted for the bizarre moshing I encountered several days ago). At the center of the maelstrom sat Discord, ensconced upon a throne of obsidian, with various scenes from Equestrian mythology carved in it. Needless to say, none of the scenes were of a wholesome nature.

The draconequus turned to face us, waving amicably with his paw. “More guests, please come in, make yourselves at home, you will find that this castle is a safe haven for everypony tonight..”

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t believe you,” Lyra said, stepping towards him, “But this doesn’t exactly seem safe, ponies are being torn apart right in front of us.”

Discord shrugged, “Perhaps, but the pop right back up with no scars or other existing traumas. As far as they are concerned, they are in perfect health. Trust me, I would never do anything to harm one of Celestia’s little ponies.”

As if on cue, Sundancer stepped forward, “A pony is more than just flesh Discord, there is a spirit to consider as well. How long will it take them to recover from the nightmare of being torn apart?”

“Not long at all,” he said, bowing slightly, “And might I say, you look absolutely splendid without the wings. Most alicorns can’t pull it off, but then, most alicorns don’t rule Equestria, and you’re so tiny I just want to take you home with me and rub your little pony head.” Ha! Even an elemental chaos god thought that Sundancer was Celestia’s disguise, I wasn’t hallucinating.

“I am not Celestia,” Sundancer said, fooling absolutely nopony, “And you have yet to explain how exactly these ponies won’t be traumatized by the events of the night.”

“Simple,” he said, “Once the spell ends, everypony will wake up and the events of the night will feel like nothing more than a dream. In fact, I am feeling so magnanimous I will fix up any buildings that were damaged during the festivities. Pre-existing conditions won’t be covered, of course.”

“Glad to hear it,” Rarity said, leaping into the center of the fray, “It would be a shame if I had to harm innocent ponies in order to stop you.” She brandished her sword and sliced into the nearest creature, a strange bipedal creature, and in doing so elicited a shriek from Lyra.

“Was that a human?” I asked, turning to look at her as the rest of our group watched the fray.

Lyra nodded, staring mutely at the freshly bisected bipedal, now that I was seeing one in the flesh, it was actually… it was quite disgusting, with no coat to speak of and a short mane on the top of its head and absolutely no muzzle to speak of. Then there was the short protrusion in the middle of the things face that might possibly be related to a muzzle except the creature's mouth was located just below it. Even if I was somehow ignoring its face, the thing’s body was lumpy in places that shouldn’t be lumpy and its spine bent in unnatural ways. If it weren’t for the digits at the end of its forelegs, I wouldn’t understand Lyra’s obsession at all, but seeing those tiny sausage like protrusions, fingers to use the proper vernacular, almost made the rest of the creature bearable. They had a kind of soft strength to them and seemed capable of bending the world to their will. Looking at them, I found myself thinking that if everypony had access to a pair of hands then the unicorn hegemony would quickly evaporate, but such thoughts are merely the idle musings of a drugged mind.

Despite Miss Heartstrings misgivings, Rarity quickly cut down the ponies that dared to charge her and soon Discord’s court learned to stand well clear of the prissy white unicorn as the ponies who had already reconstituted themselves crept back into the shadows, no longer inclined to taste the Dread Pirate’s blade, leaving just her and the chaos god, who was now clapping enthusiastically. “Oh, well done, I do so enjoy a display of swordsmanship, and you milady are absolutely stunning. In fact, to reward you, I will give you one free attack of your choosing.”

Without a second’s hesitation, she slashed the draconequus in two. Unfortunately for her, the top half stayed floating in the air, the same smug smile sitting proudly on his face as the bottom half fell downwards. “Absolutely splendid, I tip my hat to you and such,” he stopped then to bow before the Dread Pirate, “Now as much as I enjoy this game, you are interrupting the festivities of the night, and I would hate for somepony not to enjoy themselves, so I have to ask you and your friends to go to the VIP section.” He snapped his fingers and the rest of my group suddenly found themselves in a cage made of what appeared to be magical energy. I say appeared because I was mercifully spared from his trap.

“I take it I don’t merit any sort of special containment procedure,” I said, struggling to my hooves and taking a tentative step towards Discord.

“You are barely capable of walking, why should I spend time containing a pony who is incapable of moving on their own?”

“Because,” I said taking one more step towards the draconequus, “I am going to make you turn everypony back to normal, or at the very least change my marefriend back to normal.”

He laughed, “Aww, that’s so sweet I think you just gave me diabetes. I’ll tell you what, you make it to my throne and I will hear your petition. Until then, please enjoy the party.” Discord snapped his fingers and appeared, fully formed, at the throne in the far end of the palace several hundred paces away as the party guests crept back from the shadows. The same party guests that Rarity had just finished enraging. Some of the less savory creatures licked their lips and took a step forward while those without lips just took a step forward.

Doing my best to ignore the creatures, I took two more steps towards Discord while a giant monster made of a thousand mouths began to circle around me and other creatures began fighting it for the honor of attacking me first. “Well Octavia,” I said to myself, “If you’re lucky, they will be too busy fighting each other to-”

I was interrupted as a set of fangs punctured the back of my neck and crushed my spine. That worked out about as well as it had any right to, I thought as I fell towards the ground, feeling blood run down my backside. A part of me wondered exactly how I would cheat death this time but as the seconds ticked on, a worrying thought continued to grow, that this was the end for me, that there would be no last second miraculous saves, that my time in Ponyville was finally coming to an end. It wasn’t fair, not that I was dying, although that was rather bothersome, but that I had only had friends for a few weeks. After finally learning how wonderful having friends and being loved could be, the jaws of death would snatch them away from me. My eyes closed and the few friends who were still in their right mind sobbed. Eventually everything descended into silence.

“Uhmm, Octavia darling,” Rarity said, breaking the silence, “Not to pester you, but your wounds seem to have healed. At least, the ones caused by the bite have, I can’t really speak for your ribs.”

She was right, I thought as I opened my eyes, over the past few minutes, the pain coming from my neck had subsided and my coat was no longer slick and sticky. Right, Discord had said that his spell wouldn’t allow anypony to die during Nightmare Night. So the good thing was that I no longer had to worry about the possibility of dying on my walk to Discord’s throne. The counter to that was that I could be killed very easily and there was no shortage of monsters who were more than eager to make that happen.

I would prefer not to dwell on the particularities of the next few hours as each flaying, dismemberment, burning (Of all the ones I want to ignore, that is the one I want to ignore most), freezing, beheading, devouring, crushing, and exploding is a trauma I would prefer not to dwell on, and doing so would slow this narrative down to an unbearable crawl. It will suffice to say that after every death, I managed to get back up on my hooves and take a few steps closer to Discord. I endured every pain that night and persevered because I knew it was the only way I could save my marefriend and the rest of the town. It certainly wasn't pleasant, but Equestria needed me, and I wouldn't let it or my friends down.

“Well, well, I’m impressed Miss Octavia, I didn’t think you would make it this far, and I do hope you don’t mind that I took the liberty of reading up on you while I waited for you to make your way over here.” He raised his paw up to reveal my diary, “It’s a very fascinating read, and I dare say that it is the best journal of a madmare that I’ve read in a millennium, although Miss Sparkle’s diary is a close second. Now what do you want?” He leaned in close as if appraising me as he spoke that last line.

“I want you to change everypony back to normal,” I said before collapsing in front of him, not particularly caring that he had read my diary.

“Oh, is that what all this fuss is about? I was going to do that anyways. As soon as the night is over everypony will go back to being their normal boring selves.”

“L-lies,” I stammered, “Why should I believe a chaos god?”

“Because I’ve reformed,” he said, readjusting his position on his throne, “Didn’t you get the update that I am a good guy now? Now tell me, what are you supposed to be? You are the second uptight cellist I’ve seen tonight.”

“I am not anything, some of us don’t happen to celebrate Nightmare Night, I just came here because I wanted you to return my marefriend to her normal state,” I said, finally getting back on my hooves.

The chaos god smiled at that, and I suddenly felt as if I said the exact wrong thing. “You mean to say that you came to MY costume party without wearing a costume? That simply will not do. Now since your marefriend dressed as you… Yes, I think matching costumes is just what the draconequus ordered.” He snapped his fingers and then things became rather… strange.

First an ivory, technically it was a very light yellow that is easily mistaken for white, horn sprouted from my head, and a streak of electric blue mane suddenly obscured my vision. Then the more distressing changes began to occur as I suddenly became acutely aware of the beating of my heart. Its thudding filled my hearing, and with it the rest of the world filled with music. The tapping of hooves on stone, the breath of a nearby dragon as it danced, the crackling of flames as said dragon incinerated another pony, their anguished screams. All those sounds mixed and mingled with each other, but they merely accented the base thudding of my heart. In Vinyl’s mind, the world took on a decidedly primal light. The voice in my head telling me just why I shouldn’t do something had faded to a dull whisper while every urge in my body was magnified. My eyes turned towards my other self, and I found that she was simply… No, there were no words for that feeling, just a primal drive fueled by the drumming of the base, and I wanted nothing more than to dance with her to the pounding of our hearts.

Her world was wonderful and it would be so easy to be consumed by it. I wanted to don Vinyl’s glasses and dance the night away with my marefriend, to dance and enjoy and revel and forsake the cares of Octavia Melody, but I had to resist. I had to stay strong and remember who I was. My body took several steps towards the cage Octy was in, my hips swaying to the music that filled the world.

The monsters ignored me as I walked towards Octavia, and I found myself wishing I had my DJ equipment with me. A spooky castle filled with monsters would make for a great gig, and the best part was that Tavi would be there with me, although something seemed off in the back of my mind, like I was forgetting something important. I shrugged and walked it off, right now I had to dance with my marefriend.

“Hey babe,” I said as I reached her, “Having fun?”

Tavi tilted her head at me, a look of utter confusion on her face, “Babe?” She asked.

But… I paused, that wasn’t right Tavi was… She wasn’t Tavi, but she was Octavia, and I called Octavia Tavi, so that had to be right. I took another look at her, her eyes had their usual hard edge, but they didn’t seem to recognize me at all, and that wasn’t right either. Tavi was… well, she wasn’t always happy to see me, and we had had our fights, but she at least recognized me then. Why? And why wasn’t she Tavi?

Because she was Octy and somepony else… was Tavi. I shook my head, trying to clear away whatever fog had fallen upon my mind, and the last few hours came back to me. I was Tavi, Vinyl was Octy, and I rested my head against my forehoof. It had almost worked, but I was Octavia Melody, I loved Vinyl Scratch, and I would apparently risk my safety and sanity for her well-being, even if it was a monumentally bad idea, I thought as I turned back to face the chaos god.

“Did you think I’d be dealt with so easily?” I asked as I marched back towards the chaos god, grateful that his transformation magic had mended my ribs even if it had scrambled my brain. “Now change us back.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “But how exactly did you get your mind back to normal? I didn’t see anypony use magic on you and you don’t exactly seem the sort to just snap out of one of my spells.

I laughed, “You’re right, I am weak and silly and some ponies might even say dangerously unbalanced, but I had something far greater than myself powering me, a power that would compel a mare who can barely get out of bed to journey through the Everfree Forest, a power that could compel the same mare to assault an iron bull twice her size, and a power that gave me the perseverance needed to face death several dozen times while approaching your throne. It’s love, and it’s stronger than any of your chaos magic.” If not for the circumstances, I would have laughed at myself for saying something so incredibly trite and cliché, but I had not been having a pleasant day and I feel that most ponies would excuse me for indulging in such sentiment considering the circumstances surrounding my display.

Discord yawned, apparently unimpressed by my impromptu lecture, “Yes, yes, save the friendship speech for somepony who cares, believe me I’ve heard it all before, although I feel the need to correct you on one point: Chaos magic is far stronger than any silly equine emotion, and perhaps an instructional lesson is in-”

He was interrupted as an alarm clock suddenly sprang into existence besides him, ringing shrilly.

“Or perhaps not,” he said, shrugging, “It seems my dear, that my time is up and if I keep this spell going for much longer I will be in violation of the promise I made to Fluttershy.” The draconequus snapped his fingers and a burst of magical energy quickly enveloped the castle before spreading out to destinations unknown. Around me, the sea of monsters reverted to their normal equine forms, as did my adventuring party and I felt my body return to its normal state. As I prepared to make my way back to Vinyl and the rest of our group, I suddenly felt somepony jump on top of me and wrap their forelegs around my neck.

“Oh my gosh, Tavi, are you okay? That was… I mean… you died! A lot.”

“Vinyl… Ribs…” I gasped, wheezing for breath.

“Right, sorry,” she said as she quickly leapt off me, leaving me collapsed on the floor. “Let me get you back to your fainting couch.”

I nodded my head weakly at that as the mare picked me up in her magical aura and carefully deposited me back on the fainting couch, my mind processing what just happened. “Are you alright?” She asked.

“No," I said as I realized that every last pain I had suffered that night had been completely and totally pointless. I rolled over and buried my head in the chaise's cushions.

"What's wrong?" She asked, nuzzling my neck, "You aren't freaking out because you had to be me for a few minutes are you?"

"No Vinyl, I'm 'freaking out' as you put it because I died several dozen times tonight, and unlike you I wasn't in costume when those deaths occurred so I have to remember every last moment of them. Now can somepony tell me exactly why we let the chaos god on the loose?"

“Perhaps I can shed some light on that issue,” Celestia said, standing where Sundancer was a moment earlier. If I hadn’t been recovering from a night filled with both physical and mental trauma, I might have commented on how incredibly paper thin her costume was. After standing up to Discord, the fear of antagonizing the solar diarch had lost some of its edge.

“About a month ago,” Celestia continued, “Miss Fluttershy wrote me to ask if Discord could play a few pranks on Nightmare Night. Considering how well his reformation had been going, I saw no harm in it. Obviously, I was mistaken.

“Come now, Celestia, you stipulated that nopony could be harmed by my prank and that it had to expire at dawn. I followed those instructions to the letter. Why, I even tried to preserve property. Given the circumstances, I feel a medal is in order, maybe even one of those stained glass windows you are so fond of,” Discord said, popping up next to me and Vinyl.

“You! Nopony was harmed? Do you know what I had to…” I paused as memories of a night filled with fangs and claws and fire returned to the forefront of my mind and I lost all semblance of composure. My body shook as full wrenching sobs escaped my throat and my face became stained with tears. From here I must transcribe the story Vinyl told me as I was too indisposed to pay attention to my environment.

“Yeah you jerk,” Vinyl said, taking up the charge for me, “Does that look like ‘nopony was harmed’ to you.” As she spoke, she pointed her hooves at me.

“Well that’s…” He stammered, “An outlier, no harm would have happened to her if she had properly celebrated the holiday. You can’t hold me responsible for her lack of holiday spirit.”

A small smirk appeared on Celestia's face, "Perhaps you are right. Every situation has a few unavoidable injuries and Miss Melody is of sound body. Perhaps there is no need for me to take drastic action this morning."

“What!?” The other ponies around me yelled in unison.

“Tia, you can’t possibly be serious, Octavia suffered severe mental and physical trauma and as she wasn’t in costume, she was not protected by the mental wards present in Discord’s spell.”

“Yeah!” Vinyl chimed in, “You don’t get to hurt my marefriend like that and get away scot-free, we’ll beat you up ourselves if that’s what it takes.” Behind her, the rest of my friends nodded in agreement, “She could have stayed home tonight and been perfectly safe, but instead she came out here to try and help us all out. She didn’t have any powers, in fact, she could barely walk, but she still faced certain death because she cares about her friends, and now it’s time for her friends to return the favor.” Actually, most of my efforts were directed at saving Vinyl, but obviously I wished to help the rest of my friends as well.

“Now, everypony,” Celestia said as her smile grew, “Discord was very clearly following the letter of our agreement, and I believe that his behavior is so meritorious that I should inform Fluttershy of what her friend did tonight.” The princess flapped her wings several times before flying off to Ponyville as the blood drained from Discord's face. A few seconds later he flew off after the Princess, desperately begging for mercy.

“Certainly… there is no need to inform Fluttershy. My actions weren’t that praiseworthy,certainly nothing to bother her about. In fact, I concede that I might have been just a teensy bit in the wrong. Just… don’t inform Fluttershy, I will do whatever you ask, in fact, I promise I will make it up to you… I'll make it up to everypony, just...” Discord voice faded as he followed after Celestia and the two vanished into the distance.

According to Vinyl, Luna tried to speak with me several times, but I was apparently inconsolable until Vinyl wrapped me in her gentle embrace, careful not to upset my broken bones. “Hey now, Tavi, it’s safe now, nothing bad is going to happen,” she said.

I laughed. I shouldn’t have, but I did. I didn’t stop laughing for several minutes. “Nothing bad is going to happen? Vinyl, something terrible has already happened. This whole night has been a series of terrible things.” I sobbed some more, “I felt my entire body be ripped apart by dragon fire only for it to reconstitute itself a second later. That sensation is permanently engraved in my mind, and then a second later I was crushed to death by a hydra, and that is stuck with me as well. But I persevered because I knew it was up to me to save you, and then it turns out it wasn’t. I could have spent the entire evening sleeping in bed and the world would be a better place for it, we’d both be fine and I wouldn’t have to…”

An involuntary shudder ran up my spine. “I can still feel that monster’s teeth digging into my spine, the dragon fire incinerating my flesh, I can feel every last death suffered at the hands or hooves of Discord’s monstrosities, and what was it for? What was all the pain and violence and death for? Nothing. I died over and over and over again for nothing. I…” More sobbing, “Why couldn’t I have been the hero? Why couldn’t I have done anything right? I just… I just…” I trailed off and began to sob incoherently even though I was still surrounded by other ponies. Again though, I must ask for some leniency considering the circumstances leading to my break from decorum. Death is not easy for a mare to come to terms with especially when the deaths in question are her own.

Vinyl patted the back of my neck, careful not to upset my ribs which were still trying to mend. “I know, and I’m sorry, and maybe you weren’t a hero, but you tried, and that’s more than most of us can say. I mean, I wanted to-” She cut herself off, quickly remember exactly what she/Octy wanted to do. “It doesn’t matter what I wanted to do, what matters is that when everypony else was panicking you tried to do something. You risked your life to save the town, to save me, and that’s… that’s why I love you.” With that, she planted a soft kiss on my cheek.

I wish I could say her words of encouragement were enough to pull me from my despair, but at least they took the slightest edge off of my pain. "Why do I keep suffering Vinyl? I didn't do anything wrong tonight so why did I have to die over and over again? What is so awful about me that I have to keep suffering so? Do you think the gods of fate just enjoy seeing me in pain for some reason?" I asked between sobs.

The mares I had spent the night working to help rushed over to comfort me and they soon had me surrounded in one group hug, careful not to squeeze me too tightly. Each one offered me their sympathy, some promising to help me recover, others praising my valor before Luna finally spoke up.

“And I wish to promise that I will do everything in my power as Princess of the Night to make up for the injuries you have suffered here today, but for now, all I can do is offer you the gift of slumber free from nightmares,” Luna said as her horn started to glow with magical energies and my mind began to drift towards blessed oblivion.

As felt my eyelids grow heavy, I looked around at each of my friends, maybe my heroics didn't accomplish anything, but at least my friends were willing to care for me after I had fallen. Right before I plunged into unconsciousness, I could have sworn I heard Fluttershy yelling "HOW DARE YOU!" and I permitted myself to smile at the strange hallucinations an exhausted mind such as mine could come up with.

Interlude

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1 Canterlot Castle, Canterlot
November 2, 1588
Vinyl Scratch
138 Chestnut Street, Ponyville
Dear Vinyl Scratch,
We wish to write to inquire about the well-being of our friend and employee Octavia Melody while also keeping you abreast of updates in the realm. After several correspondences with the mayors of various towns across Equestria, we have determined that every city in Equestria (save Manehattan) was affected by Discord’s spell, and we are currently dispatching crisis counseling teams to help those who need it. On that note, we have arranged things so that Octavia’s old therapist Doctor Whooves will be arriving to serve as Ponyville's crisis counselor for the next several months, although if the spell worked as Discord claimed, the number of ponies negatively impacted should be minimal, meaning he will have plenty of time to focus on the few cases that do need his attention.
Speaking of Discord, we feel we should write to inform you that after speaking with Fluttershy, Discord has now offered to make amends to Octavia by whatever methods she requests. However, we thought it best to keep him away from her until she has had some chance to recover. We eagerly await your reply concerning the well-being of our friend.
Sincerely, Princess Luna
Royal Diarch of Equestria, Princess of the Night, and Warden of the Dreamlands

138 Chestnut Street, Ponyville
November 4, 1588
Princess Luna
1 Canterlot Castle, Canterlot
Dear Princess Luna,
What gives? You said you would be watching over Tavi’s dreams to prevent nightmares and stuff, well last night, she woke up at like three in the morning and wouldn’t stop crying. I mean, I tried to help her out, ~~but she hasn’t been responding~~ but I don’t know how to fix this. Before it was easy, I’d just remind her that everything was okay and eventually she’d calm back down, but not now. I mean, it’s not okay is it? She felt things that nopony should feel, and then she felt them again and again and again. You and I both saw what she went through, and it’s tough to come out of that okay, but you know, she was handling it pretty well because she thought her friends needed her help, but now that we don't, she's just kind of shutdown. She doesn’t inquire about how her friends are doing or display any interest in the outside world, she just lays in bed staring at the ceiling and occasionally rolling over to look at her cello longingly.
When I try to talk to her she responds, and she is still kind of affectionate, but when she looks at me, it’s like neither of us are really there if that makes sense. We are supposed to go to AnthroCon this weekend, but I don’t know if we can now. Tavi certainly isn’t up to it, and I don’t think leaving her alone for too long would be a good idea. So I ask you again, what can I do? I want to fix this, to make things better somehow, but I don’t know what to say or do. I am doing everything I can think of to make things better, but none of it is working. At this point, I’m open to any suggestions you might have.
Sincerely, Vinyl Scratch
DJ

1 Canterlot Castle, Canterlot
November 4, 1588
Vinyl Scratch
138 Chestnut Street, Ponyville
Dear Vinyl Scratch,
First let me say that I am terribly sorry about being unable to protect Octavia’s dreams during every moment of the night. Since Nightmare Night, I have been busy working to protect the Dreamlands from a Nightwalker incursion, and as such, have not been able to devote as much time protecting the dreams of individual subjects as I would like. Still, I have done my best to check up on her and end any nightmares that I come across. We hope you understand that as much as we I would like to, I cannot neglect my royal duties for the well-being of one pony, no matter how dear she is to us. Perhaps the only remedy to Octavia’s current plight is time and the company of her true friends. In the hopes of facilitating that, I have taken the liberty of booking two rooms aboard the HMS Triumphant to be leaving from Manehattan Tuesday of this next week.
You may bring any friends you wish with you, if they can find the time to come with you. As for the orchestra, if I must choose between it being ready by the Winter Moon Celebration and ensuring that Octavia has been able to sufficiently recover, I will choose the latter, although I must admit that I still wish for both, and I hope you can find somepony to lead the orchestra during Octavia’s convalescence. If you can find any suitable replacements for Octavia on such short notice, please inform me promptly and I will send them a letter informing me of the situation.
Sincerely, Princess Luna
Royal Diarch of Equestria, Princess of the Night, and Warden of the Dreamlands

138 Chestnut Street, Ponyville
November 5, 1588
Princess Luna
1 Canterlot Castle, Canterlot
Dear Princess Luna,
Great news! Tavi finally started writing in her journal thingy yesterday, it’s the first Tavi-like thing she’s done all week. I mean, she’s still not all normal, she woke up last night and just kind of started sobbing/screaming, but it’s something right? Although to be fair, today when she was writing stuff, she would just kind of occasionally stop, tear out the last few pages she had written, curl up in a ball for a few minutes, and then go back to writing. She must have rewritten the part where she died twenty times like... well, twenty times. I took a peak at a few of the rejected drafts, and they… they weren’t pleasant to read at all.
Thank you for the reservations aboard the Triumphant, hopefully it will cheer her up a bit. At the very least, it might do her some good to get out of Ponyville, and since we are going to Baltimare this weekend, we can go to Manehattan after the convention, maybe meet up with Tavi’s parents Monday, and then Tuesday we can go to our cruise, so that actually works out pretty well. Even Bon Bon is looking forward to the cruise, and she almost never takes time off from her sweets shop. Anyways, as much as it pains me to say this, RR can probably take care of things while we are gone. Ever since Tavi and him had their showdown in the park, he has been a lot nicer… well, actually, he’s still a jerk, but he’s less of one. Apparently he was at the old castle when we showed up there, and saw what Tavi went through, and he’s been pretty sympathetic since then. Like, he feels bad for her I guess or something, or maybe he respects her for continuing to endure and stuff. I don’t know, he didn't want to talk about it, I guess he still doesn't like thinking about what happened that night and I can understand that. Anyways, thanks again for the tickets, I will keep you updated on Tavi as things to progress.
Sincerely, Vinyl Scratch
Still just a DJ

Day 20: Recovery

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For the first time since I came to Ponyville, I have decided to omit the events of several days, mainly because absolutely nothing of note has happened during my convalescence, so instead of describing exactly how long I stared at the wall, I will instead surmise and say that I have spent the last several days in bed, drifting between varying states of consciousness and having the ~~frequent~~ occasional panic attack/sobbing fit. According to Vinyl it has been about five days since Nightmare Night, and today was the first day that things started… Well, I will start at the beginning.

The day started when I awoke to find a group of cloaked ponies surrounding my bed. “Vinyl,” I groaned, “Why did the Anthropologist’s Society sneak into our room again?” A quick headcount revealed that the society had grown substantially larger since our last meeting and for some reason they had decided to sew images of apples on their cloaks.

Vinyl rubbed her eyes as she looked around her surroundings. “I don’t know, we don’t meet until tomorrow and Lyra cancelled our meeting because it interferes with our train ride to Anthro Con, speaking of which, do you still want to go?”

“There are hooded figures surrounding us, and you are asking if I still want to go to Anthro Con?” I said, unsure of my roommates priorities.

“Well, I guess,” Vinyl said, “I mean, if they were going to do anything nefarious or whatever, they would probably have done it by-”

She was cut off as the mare who seemed to be leading the group spoke up, “We ain’t part o’ no silly anthropology club, we’re here to approve Octavia’s entry into the Apple family and ask a few questions.”

“Wait, why did you all have to break into my house at the middle of the night to tell me I am an Apple?” I asked, working to suss out just why they decided to sneak in here and almost give me a heart attack when I woke up.

“Oh, no, we ain’t here for that, sugarcube,” the pony I assumed was Applejack said, her hood barely covering what I assumed to be her typical stetson. “We would’ve just sent you a letter or Ah woulda come down here myself to tell ya. Nah, we are here because I got wind o’ some rumors about your upbringing, and that meant Ah had to assemble the full Apple council.”

“And just what rumors were those?” I asked as I rubbed my head, “My upbringing was fairly standard for a Manehattanite.”

“Yeah!” Vinyl chimed in, “And you know, Tavi is still recovering, so maybe you should rethink the whole sneaking into our room during the middle of the night thing. I mean, she’s had a rough couple of days in case you weren’t aware.”

“We’re well aware of Miss Octavia’s situation,” one of the other hooded ponies said, “But charges like this just can’t be ignored by Apple bylaw. We’ve already done what we can to accommodate her by having the meeting at her house as opposed to the Apple cellar where these meetings normally take place.”

“And exactly what charges am I dealing with, because whatever it is that I did or did not do, I am sure there is a reasonable explanation,” I said after suppressing the shock at seeing a group of hooded ponies in my bedroom.

“We ain’t chargin’ you wit’ nothin, its yer folks that dun earned the Apple family’s ire. We need you to let us know if there’s any truth to the story that they kicked ya out when you was just a filly,” another Apple said.

“Right granny. See Tavi, we Apples are a close knit bunch, so when we hear that one of our own kicked out their child, we have to investigate. So can you please tell me just why they kicked you out?” Applejack said, pulling off her hood and confirming my suspicion that she was indeed Applejack, and that she had somehow managed to keep her Stetson on underneath the hood.

“It’s really not that complicated,” I said, finally sitting up, “They kicked me out because we disagreed over what my optimal career path would be. They thought I should take after my father and become a music producer, while I wanted to pursue a career playing the cello. We were unable to reach a satisfying settlement so they kicked me out. Other than that issue, the terms of our parting were amicable.”

“Tavi, they kicked you out. There is absolutely nothing amicable about that,” Vinyl said, with the Apple clan nodding in agreement, “I mean, what type of person would kick out their own flesh and blood because they don’t want to become a record producer?”

“Ah have to agree with Vinyl,” Applejack said, “And jus’ how old were you when they kicked you out?”

“A few years after getting my cutiemark, so probably before I turned eleven,” I said, “After all, they didn’t just kick me out as soon as I said I wanted to become a cellist. They tried to reason with me for several years before moving to such drastic options, and they said I could come back if I was willing to listen to reason and get rid of my cello,” I said, trying to justify their actions. They were my parents, and even if we disagreed, I wanted to believe that they had my best interests at heart.

The Apples murmured excitedly at that, moving to confer with each other in hushed tones. “Hey Tavi, if we ever adopt a little foal of our own, you won’t treat them like your parents treated you, will you?” Vinyl asked with a concerned look in her eyes.

“Of course not,” I said, patting her back in a manner that I hoped was found to be reassuring, “While I appreciate the values of setting boundaries, it is also important to accept your children for who they are, even if I think they are making a mistake.”

“So, you’d be okay if they wanted to grow up and be a rapper or just not do anything with music at all?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.

My eye twitched, and I did my best to keep my composure, “If that is what they wanted to do, then I would support them in any way possible, even if I personally disagreed with the decision. While I personally turned out fine, no child should have to…” I paused as I felt my eyes begin to water, and my mind filled with images of all the many things that happened in my life. From the cold empty isolation of the years I spent shunning outside companionship to hone and practice my craft to the raw visceral pain that came from defending (and dying for) my friends, all the way back to that first hurt. The one felt by a filly desperate to earn her parent’s love.

It was a coldness that grew in my chest as they spoke, when they said that they wouldn’t allow their child to disgrace the family name by growing up to become filthy plebian musician. A chill that pierced my heart when I was forced to choose between what I knew was my calling and the love of my parents. Every month since they kicked me out, I had sent them a letter detailing my efforts to become a pony they could be proud of, one who was respectable, sophisticated, and admired by her peers. I sacrificed every moment of my adolescence to honing my craft to please them. When I was invited to perform at the Gala, I sent them two invitations to show off just how far I had come, they accepted the invitation and then proceeded to ignore me the rest of the night. And… why? Why wouldn’t they support me? Why wouldn’t they even acknowledge my existence? All I had wanted was for them to say they were proud of me, that I hadn’t tarnished the family name. I didn’t care that they had abandoned me at the age of eleven, I just wanted to earn their acceptance and show them that an earth pony could be an outstanding musician.

My thoughts were interrupted by Vinyl as she stroked my mane in the hopes of reassuring me. “It’s alright, Tavi, it’s fine. You are fantastic and you don’t need to earn anypony’s acceptance, especially not the acceptance of the parents who are too thick headed to see what a wonderful daughter they have.”

As I came back to reality, I suddenly became aware of two things, the first was the now familiar sensation of tears freely running down my cheeks, and the second was that Vinyl was apparently aware of what I had thought was an internal monologue. “Did I just say all of that out loud?”

Everypony in the room nodded, “Yeah, it was… You mean you didn’t know you were talking?” Vinyl asked.

I shook my head, “No, I thought I was just thinking to myself, such an outburst would,” I paused to sniffle and try to regain my composure, “Hardly be dignified. Certainly not in front of company.”

Applejack spoke up at that, “We ain’t company, we’re kin, and after hearing that, I think we can all agree that Record Profit and Landed Money have their names stricken from the Apple Family Tree while confirming Tavi’s addition to it.”

The other Apple’s nodded in agreement while Vinyl and I exchanged looks of utter bewilderment. “Excuse me Applejack, but what exactly is going to happen to them now that their names have been stricken from your records?” I asked.

“Well, the first and most obvious thing is that no Apple is gonna be havin’ even the slightest bit of contact with em, no sales, no transactions, nothin’. As far as we’re concerned they never existed.”

“And besides preventing them from purchasing apples, what else does it do?”

“Right, well, we Apples take care of our own, and when we gotta blacklist somepony, well things tend to get mighty messy,” she said with a straight face, while I was wondering just what they would be doing to my parents.

“Applejack, while I appreciate your concern I want to be very clear about something. I still love my parents, and I can’t approve of you harming them.” Or killing, I thought before my train of thought was derailed by a vivid recollection of all my many experiences with death. The air in my lungs became leaden, and each breath was a struggle as a cold sweat covered my body as I retreated into the fetal position.

“Uhmm… hey, sorry guys, I hate to interrupt your meeting, but Tavi is… Well, whenever something triggers her memory of Nightmare Night, she kind of shuts down, so could we continue this later? Maybe after we get back from our vacation?”

They all nodded at that, and quietly filed out of the room, with Applejack being the last to go. “Is she gonna be alright? I saw what she went through, and if you need any help her family’s nearby.”

Vinyl nodded appreciatively before turning to comfort me. Over the past few days, we had both learned that the best way to deal with my panic attacks was for her to wrap her forelegs around me and draw me towards her, while I wrapped my own hooves around my Miss Melody doll. After thirty minutes of Vinyl’s reassurances, my heart rate began to calm down, and I felt myself regain some control of my body. “Th-thank you, Vinyl.”

“For what?” She asked, lifting up her head.

Really Vinyl? You are going to play coy now and pretend not to know what I am talking about? “For staying with me the last few days and helping to calm me down when I have my episodes. I know I haven’t said a lot, but you are helping, and... These last few days I’ve been well past the brink of madness and despair, but you were always there to help me calm down and pull me back towards something resembling sanity.”

“You mean I was actually helping? I thought I was just being kind of useless, I mean you were crying one day for like four hours, and nothing I did seemed to help. Do you know how painful it was to watch you go through all… that and not be able to do anything? I couldn’t even help you when you recover afterwards.”

I smiled and turned to kiss her on the cheek. “Of course you helped, Vinyl, you’ve pretty much kept me sane these past few days, and I hope I can make it up to you at a later date.”

She stroked my cheek and flashed a rather toothy grin, “Tavi, you don’t have to make anything up to me. We love each other, and it’s enough for me to know that when one of us stumbles we’ll have the other to keep us standing.”

Gazing into the other’s eyes, the two of us were silent for a long while, and I was on the cusp of falling asleep when Vinyl spoke up. “Oh! I mentioned how we have the cruise on the Triumphant right?”

I nodded.

“And that cruise leaves from your home city, right?”

“It leaves from my birth city, yes, but I always felt that I identified more with Canterlot than Manehattan.”

“Okay, sure, well, I was thinking that maybe since we have a day between Anthro Con ending and the cruise leaving, we could maybe see the sights and also I might have written your parents to inform them that you would be in town and that you wanted to see them.”

“You did WHAT?” I yelled, pushing Vinyl away, “Do you have any idea… I mean, first of all, my parents probably won’t even see me, and that would be the best case scenario. The alternative is-” I shook my head before bolting out of bed and running to the mirror, desperately trying to style my mane. “Vinyl, they banished me, they don’t want to see me, and they certainly won’t approve of certain decisions I’ve made, one’s that I doubt I will be able to hide from them.”

“Like what? Do they have a problem with fillyfooling?” She asked while coming over to try and comfort me, “Look, I know the two of you don’t have the best relationship, and I know they are in the wrong about a lot of things they have done with you, but maybe it will do you both good to see each other again.” She tried to smile, “Besides, if things go bad, then at least you have a chance to tell them off or punch them in the face. You know, whatever works for you.”

I laughed, “Vinyl, do you really think I could punch my own parents? You must think me to be completely uncivilized.”

She shook her head, “No, but you do have a habit of punching things when you get upset. Remember that big iron bull? You just knocked it right out, and that is kind of impressive considering it was made of iron.”

My smile vanished as she reminded me of Nightmare Night, but I found that particular memory to be more comforting than traumatizing, “That was different Vinyl, you were in danger and I reacted without thinking. Truth be told, my hoof is still hurting from that incident.”

Vinyl’s smile vanished as well, “That’s weird, cause Discord’s magic should have healed any injuries you sustained during that night and-”

She stopped speaking as the very mention of that draconequus caused me to curl up into the fetal position and rock back and forth while sobbing. Vinyl just sighed, levitated me to the bed, and proceeded to wrap her forelegs around me. It was amazing just how routine such a thing had become for the two of us, and I quickly fell asleep in the security of her embrace.

When I finally awoke, I found that Vinyl had left the bed and the sun was high in the sky. I groaned and checked the clock on the wall, confirming my suspicion that it was well past noon. Distressingly, me sleeping in past Vinyl had become far too common during the last few days as the nights spent sobbing or staring at the ceiling had greatly interfered with my ability to adhere to a normal sleep schedule.

I groaned and debated whether or not it would be worth the effort to get out of bed. On the one hoof, getting out of bed would almost certainly draw whatever doom Ponyville had prepared for me today towards me. On the other hoof, if I stayed in bed one more day I would go absolutely insane and the town would win. Besides, Vinyl would probably be downstairs and I wanted to continue our discussion about why visiting my parents was a monumentally bad ideas.

Thankfully, during my convalescence I had regained the ability to walk short distances without feeling like my chest was about to implode upon itself. I never thought I would miss basic mobility so much, although to give myself some credit, I never imagined myself lacking it either. “Vinyl, are you here?” I asked as I headed downstairs.

I didn’t hear a response and a quick survey of the downstairs revealed it was empty. Deciding it would be for the best if I waited for her return in the comfort of my own bed, I turned and walked back up the stairs. However, when I came to the top of the stairs I noticed two things. The first was that the door to Vinyl’s bedroom was cracked ever so slightly and the second was that a faint slurping noise was emanating from her room.

A sigh escaped my lips, I really didn’t want to deal with this, ~~but curiosity killed the cat as they say, or in this case, the cellis~~

Taking a tentative step forward, I approached her room, and my suspicion that the source of the noise was in her room was confirmed. “Vinyl, are you in there?” I asked as I knocked on the door, already knowing that the answer wouldn’t be positive.

Between the sickening slurps, a voice echoed, “The Deathbringer arrives, please step inside so that we might thank you properly.”

Against my better judgment, I opened the door and confirmed that yes, there was indeed a sentient mold ~~monster~~ entity in her room and it was capable of language.

“We greet you Deathbringer and welcome you into our domicile. Please make yourself comfortable.” My heart pounded in my chest, and knees almost gave out on me. Of course it remembered me and the fact that I had tried to murder it a week ago. Why wouldn’t it? The alternative of Vinyl simply exaggerating when she said the giant mold beast in her bedroom was sentient was simply silly.

I forced a smile and bowed my head slightly at the ~~horrifying monstrosity~~ entity. “You will have to forgive me, when I attempted to murder you several days ago I was unaware that you had achieved a level of sentience. If I was, I assure you things would have gone differently.” For instance, I would have burned this entire house down with a cleansing flame instead of using mere sprays. Still, I thought it best not to tell it that.

“There is no need to apologize Deathbringer,” it said, its green bulbous body pulsating with every word. “Your actions have earned our veneration and secured a spot for you next to the Lifegiver in our pantheon.”

Well, I certainly cannot say I expected that, but then, I never expected Vinyl to be telling the truth when she discussed the nature of the mold living in her bedroom. “Then, just to be clear, you aren’t upset with me and seeking terrible terrible retribution in some way?”

The… thing seemed to laugh at that, its central sack undulated rapidly, and a viscous green substance came out of the hole that I assumed (and hoped, fervently fervently hoped) was its mouth. “You will forgive us, Deathbringer, for finding the idea of seeking vengeance against one of our deities amusing. Your actions strengthened us by purging the weak and allowing the strong to proliferate. There is no spore in our colony that is not descended from the survivors of your sacred cleansing, and because of that we are stronger.”

“I… see,” I said, slowly nodding my head and taking a tentative step backwards, “If that will be all then I think I will head back to a world where sanity and reason prevail.”

“Wait!” It said just before I slammed the door shut on it, “We have a request that only Octavia Deathbringer can fulfill. Our colony grows weak and decadent, and before the Lifegiver brings us our sustenance, we wish to be reduced to the strongest components so that only the greatest of us may enter into this new era.”

“You mean you want me to try to uhmm… clean you again?” I asked, unsure that I was comprehending it.

Its body bubbled at that, and several pustules on the central mass burst. “Yes, do not hold back, the more you eradicate, the stronger the survivors will be.”

I nodded my head as my mouth twisted into a smile, “Very well, I believe I can honor your request.”

Several bottles of bleach, a decontamination suit, and one very relaxing hour of cleaning later, Vinyl’s room was as spotless as I had ever seen it. If I was lucky, I had completely eradicated the monstrosity that lurked in her bedroom, and if not, then at the very least I had fulfilled both the spirit and the letter of its request. I stretched out on my bed and smiled, savoring the satisfaction of a job well done. It’s important to savor the little victories in Ponyville, I thought as I tucked myself into the bed and waited for my roommate to return.

Only a few minutes later, I heard the front door open and a few seconds after that Vinyl walked in with two boxes of pizza floating behind her. “Hey Tavi, mind if I ask what happened to Moldy? I promised I would get him a pizza before I left and when I gave it to him he was nowhere to be seen.”

“Oh,” I said, rolling over to face her, “It asked me to cleanse it and I was more than happy to oblige. Apparently it venerates me as some sort of goddess of destruction.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Is the idea that the sentient mold monster living in your bedroom might deify me that much harder to accept than the fact that there is a, and I cannot stress this enough, sentient mold monster living in your bedroom.”

“Well, when you put it like that, I guess not, but still the whole thing is kind of weird.” She said, levitating one of the pizzas towards me.

“At least we can agree on that,” I said before turning my attention towards the pizza. “I take it this is for us?”

Vinyl nodded her head, “Yep, I got one for us and one for Moldy. Didn’t want him to starve while we were away.”

“Celestia forbid that happens.” I said, making no attempt to hide my disdain.

“Hey, sure he is a giant sentient mold monster thing, but he is MY giant sentient mold thingy and he is a pretty cool… uhmm… thing.”

I flipped up the cardboard box containing the pizza, it was a supreme with pretty much every vegetable known to ponydom on it and approximately half the grease known to ponydom as well. “This looks… did they have to use so much grease on this? I feel like just looking at it is giving me a…” I trailed off, as the sentence’s planned conclusion conjured images of Nightmare Night and one particular death that actually caused my heart to burst out from my chest. Before I could properly contain my emotions, a series of loud and undignified sobs wracked my body, and Vinyl had moved to comfort me.

“Hey, it’s alright Tavi, I’m here for you if you need to talk,” she said while resting a hoof on my shoulder.

Something inside of me snapped then, something dark and angry that I had been doing everything in my power to bury over the last few days. I wish I can say that it wasn’t me that acted next and that instead some spirit of rage and anguish and howling madness temporarily possessed my body, but alas I cannot truthfully make that claim. My eyes narrowed and a harsh bitter laugh escaped my lips, “If I need to talk? IF? Vinyl, I would love to talk, but there is nopony I can talk TO, unless I am gravely mistaken and most of the ponies in this Celestia forsaken town have died multiple times. You saw what happened, you heard my screams but you didn’t feel the blades sink into your flesh, the magic gripping your heart, so if you can think of somepony who has gone through a similar experience then I am all ears.”

The laughter was coming out faster now, and had I been in my right mind I might have been concerned by the way Vinyl’s back was sagging, but at that particular moment I was too focused on making somepony, anypony, feel just the faintest fraction of what I felt Nightmare Night. “Oh, but let me spare you the rant because you’ve heard it plenty of times during the last few days. Heard it during my late night sob sessions, my early morning panic attacks, my afternoon screaming fits, so allow me to change the record. I’m broken. I’m broken and while I applaud your efforts, you can’t fix me. You can’t fix being torn apart or burnt to a crisp, you can’t even PRETEND to understand what it feels like. But you try because you’re a good mare and going to help me get better, right? That’s how these stories work, I get hurt, you nurse me back to health and along the way we learn something about each other or life or what have you, but…”

I stopped and saw the look of absolute anguish in my marefriend’s eye. No, she didn’t know it felt like to die, but she was willing to do anything to understand, anything to try to make me feel better. All of a sudden my laughter stopped and transformed into desperate sobbing. “I’m sorry Vinyl, I’ve… I’ve tried to be normal, to bury everything and move on with my life, but it won’t stay gone. No matter what I try to do it keeps coming and I... I’m just broken. Earlier today when Moldy asked me to purge it, I didn’t so much as hesitate. In fact, I enjoyed it, I enjoyed doing everything in my power to make it suffer as much as I had. Who does that? What kind of monster am I?” I sniffled and found that my roommate had moved to wrap a foreleg around my shoulder, content to just listen while I vented as much of my frustration and sadness as I could.

“I’m sorry Vinyl, I can’t… what if I stay like this? Stay so terribly, irreparably broken, and I don’t know how I can put it all behind me and keep moving on. I don’t know if I’ll ever be back to normal, and this isn’t fair to you. You deserve somepony who won’t wake up screaming in the middle of the night or spend all of her time sobbing.”

Vinyl laughed, “You really think I’m going to leave you be just because you got hurt a few times? If you’ll remember, all of those injuries happened because you were trying to help me, and I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I didn’t return the favor and do everything I could to help you out.” She moved to sit in front of me, resting one hoof against my cheek, “Maybe you will never get back to normal, maybe you shouldn’t try to get back to normal and should instead focus on coming to terms with what happened, I don’t know. What I do know is that I’ll be here to help you figure things out every step of the way, even if that means dealing with you when you get to be such a pain in the flank.”

Despite my best efforts, I laughed at that, and after another hour of her comforting me, I finally felt ready to face the world, or at least venture out of my bed briefly. “Now if I’m not too terribly mistaken, we have a vacation to prepare for.”

“Don’t worry,” she said, trying to draw my focus back to our bed, “I packed up my saddlebag when I got up.”

“And how many pairs of clothes did it contain?”

“Uhmm… none, we don’t normally wear clothes Tavi.”

“Yes, and we normally don’t fly on the premier airship in Equestria, so you’ll pardon me if I think we should prepare properly.”

Vinyl let out a groan, “This is going to take a while, isn’t it?”

I nodded and she rolled out of bed while I followed after her with the faintest spring in my step, and a small smile forming on my lips. Things were bad, they were terrible, and sometimes I really wanted to bash my head against a wall until I lost all memories of that night, but at least I had Vinyl to keep me going, and maybe that was enough.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully as I spent the next several hours helping Vinyl repack our bags and in doing so dramatically increased the amount of luggage she had intended to bring, while only having two… episodes in the process. Baby steps, right?

“How are we packing so much stuff for a one week vacation when you moved here with like… four boxes?” She asked as she finished packing the last of our suitcases.

“Because, like I said earlier, the HMS Triumphant is Equestria’s premier airship, and we must prepare to look our best. We don’t want to be invited to dine with the captain and not have anything to wear do we?”

She shook her head as she levitated our suitcases towards the door, “Fine, but can I just say that I think this is a huge waste of time and that the stuff I packed earlier was fine?”

“Vinyl, you only brought along a back up pair of goggles, another one of my bowties and some basic toiletries.”

“Yeah, well, that’s all we really need right?”

I just shook my head and tutted, “Honestly, sometimes I question how you were able to function before I moved in. And to think, some ponies claim that you are the mature one out of the two of us.”

“Hey, it’s like a balance right? I help you out with your crippling phobias and anxieties, and you force me to do a bunch of boring society stuff that nopony has cared about in a century,” she said, smiling as she talked.

For my part, I tried to glare at her, but it quickly turned into a grin, “You’re right, we do have a certain way of balancing the other out. Now I think we should retire for the night as we will be departing Ponyville bright and early tomorrow morning, and I want to be well rested.”

“But you are finally able to move around on your own, and I thought we could…” She trailed off as I stared at her, continuing to smile.

“Wait, when you say retire for the night, you don’t just mean go to sleep do you?” She asked, heading back towards the stairs.

I nodded, following after her and soon the two of us were sprinting towards my bed, where we proceeded to celebrate the eve of our vacation in style and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I managed to sleep until five in the morning without having one of my screaming sobbing fits. Like I wrote earlier, it’s important to celebrate the small victories in Ponyville.

Day 21: Departure

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As I write this, I am pleased to say that I am no longer in Ponyville. Of course, I will have to return in a little over a week, but right now, I am free. Free from that wretched forsaken town and able to live my life without that doom hanging over my head. This sense of freedom is tempered somewhat by the fact that I am surrounded by the greatest bunch of developmentally delayed mare-children in Equestria, but I am not in Ponyville, and that fact alone deserves to be celebrated, preferably champagne or a selection of hard alcohols. In fact, I think I will spend some time at the hotel bar after I finish writing this entry, so let’s keep things short as my hoof is cramping, and a bourbon or gin would be the perfect way to end this night. Or better yet, two bourbons and Vinyl at my side. Ah, it feels so good to be back in a proper metropolis I can hardly contain myself.

When I awoke this morning, I was pleasantly surprised to find that nothing terrible had happened. There were no shadowy organizations sneaking into my bedroom and I managed to make it through the night with only one panic attack. While I would normally avoid admitting to any displays of optimism, since I am no longer in Ponyville, I will risk it. This morning, I found myself looking forward to my day and ready to bid adieu to the town. Unfortunately, Vinyl had other plans.

“Vinyl,” I said as I tapped her on the shoulder, “Wake up, its almost 8:00 and we have to be at the train station in an hour.”

“Do we have to?” She groaned, “The train doesn’t leave until nine and I we can make it by then.”

“Yes, if we left now, we would have plenty of time to spare, but we have to shower, groom ourselves, and presumably meet our friends at some point, and all those things take time, so let’s get going.”

“Alright,” she said, rolling out of the bed, “What has you so excited anyways? I thought you absolutely hated the idea of going to Anthro Con.”

I smiled, “Oh, I do, but I love the chance to get out of Ponyville, and I would hate to spend a second longer in this town than possible. I am sure that as we speak this town is planning something nefarious.”

She rubbed her eyes and looked at me, “You are aware that this town isn’t a living being right? It doesn’t think or plot, you just have really bad luck. But, on the subject of plots, I would like to take this opportunity to say that you have a really nice one.”

Now it was my turn to groan, “Just go and take a shower, we will be on a very long train ride, so I’m sure you’ll have ample opportunity to embarrass me in front of our friends.”

“Yeah, well I planned on doing that too. In fact, you are in such a good mood I think we will have to celebrate soo-”

I quickly raised a hoof to shush her as my pupils contracted, “No! No talking about celebration, the town might hear you and then we will never escape. We can… speak freely once we leave the town’s borders.”

“Okay,” Vinyl said, a concerned look entering into her eyes, “Yeah, but when we get back lets go and get you to a psychiatrist, I am kind of worried about you.”

I narrowed my eyes, “I am perfectly fine, Vinyl, it is this town that is trying to ruin my life, and by extension, our lives.”

Vinyl just nodded, “Of course, anyways, I am gonna go get ready. I’ll see you later.” She walked off, murmuring something under her breath, and I went about a very truncated version of my morning grooming routine, although still managing to make myself look presentable in only half an hour.

“Wow, you’re finally ready,” Vinyl said as I walked down the stairs. Somehow, she had managed to make herself look absolutely splendid in far less time than it took me. Of course, I might be slightly biased in describing her appearance and a more impartial observer might have noted that her hair was intolerably greasy and that her eyes were slightly too puffy, but I thought she looked absolutely splendid. Although, now that I think about it, I am slightly confused about how I could know what a more impartial observer might think and… I think I will just chalk this up to lingering Ponyville madness.

“I will have you know that I cut out over half of my morning routine to be ready on time, and I still made myself look presentable, so if you could keep the complaining to a minimum, I would appreciate it. Not all of us can be content with taking a quick shower and putting gel in our hair,” I said as I took a seat on the chaise next to her.

Vinyl moved to nuzzle my neck, “Hey, you don’t just look presentable, you look totally sexy right now, like, if we didn’t have to meet Lyra and Bon Bon right about now I would-”

She was interrupted by a knock coming from the door. “Come in,” we both said in unison.

“Hey girls,” Bon Bon said as she opened the door, “Lyra is just doing a last run through of the house to make sure she has all of her outfits for Anthro Con.”

“You see Vinyl, even your friends packed a few changes of clothes, although I didn’t think Anthro Con would be such a formal occasion,” I said, feeling supremely satisfied with myself at that moment.

Vinyl seemed nonplussed at the news, and she actually started to smile during my pronouncement. “Uhh yeah, these aren’t formal outfits, Tavi, they are more like…”

“Costumes.” Bon Bon finished for her, “Lyra calls them cosplays, and they are actually really well done, but they are still basically just really elaborate Nightmare Night costumes.”

My marefriend glared at Bon Bon whose face was quickly turning a vivid shade of crimson, while I felt my left eye begin to twitch. “I see,” I said, working to contain my growing panic, “Tell me, will these cosplays be rather common, or are they just another one of Lyra’s peculiarities.”

“Well,” Vinyl said, “I was hoping to just ease you into the news, but I would guess that about a third of the people there will be wearing a costume.”

I took a deep breath in the hopes of calming my nerves before speaking again, “Wonderful. Is there anything else I should know about Anthro Con or is that it?”

“No, I think that’s about everything,” Bon Bon said, before gesturing towards the door, “Now let’s get going, Lyra’s already nervous enough about missing our train, if she has to wait for us, she is going to positively freak out. Do you have everything?”

“I think that’s everything,” Vinyl said, looking at the pile of luggage next to the door, “Unless Tavi forgot to get something last night.”

My mind ran through a quick mental inventory of all the things we would need, we each had four formal outfits, three decidedly more casual outfits, one overcoat in case things suddenly, and of course I had my… Oh no. “One second,” I said as I raced up the stairs. I had forgotten my cello, the very idea that I had almost gone a week and a half without Philharmonica by my side made me sick to my stomach. Thirty seconds later, I was heading back downstairs with the cello case securely strapped to my back.

“Uhmm Tavi, are you sure lugging that around is such a great idea, I mean you are still recovering, and now you want to carry your cello across Equestria?” Vinyl said as she wrapped the rest of our luggage in her telekinetic field. “I’d be happy to carry it for you along with the rest of the stuff, it’s no issue for me.”

“I’m perfectly fine,” I said as my back howled in protest, “I thank you for offering, but I always get nervous if anyone besides me touches my cello, even if that pony is you.” I did my best to smile and hoped that I hadn’t offended her. While I did genuinely appreciate her offer, I don’t think I could have forgiven Vinyl or myself if something happened to my cello while she was watching over it. Besides, a little bit of exercise would probably help me recover.

“Okay then,” she said, shrugging, “If you change your mind just let me know.” The three of us finally headed out of the house and onto the streets where Lyra was waiting for us with several bags next to her.

“Come on everypony, I don’t want to miss our train like we did last year, you know how the registration lines get, and I don’t want to miss the analysis panel again,” Lyra said, pacing outside our door.

The three of us merely nodded our heads and followed off after her as she led us to the train station. After several minutes of walking, I found myself lagging behind the rest of the group and struggling to put one hoof in front of the other as the cello continued to weigh me down. Vinyl quickly noticed my absence, and trotted over to me.

“Come on Tavi, let me carry the cello. You still need to rest,” she said while trying to unfasten the straps that held the cello to my back.

“I would prefer it if you didn’t take it,” I said, “As much as I love you, I don’t trust anypony else with my cello. If something were to-”

She cut me off, “You mean the cello we made for you that was specially enchanted to be borderline indestructible? That one?”

I sighed and undid the fastening on my cello, “Yes, that one. Just please be careful with it.”

“Please,” she said as she levitated the cello off my back and added it to the rest of the items she was carrying, “Safety is my middle name.”

“Will you two please hurry up?” Lyra yelled back to us, “The train is leaving in fifteen minutes and if we miss this one then we won’t be able to reach Baltimare until tomorrow morning.”

Bon Bon patted her on the shoulder, “It will be fine, sweetie, I know you are excited about Anthro Con, but we shouldn’t take our frustrations about last year out on our friends.”

Lyra closed her eyes and took a breath as we walked towards her, “You’re right, Bonnie, I’m just so excited about this years panels I don’t want to miss a single second of it, and that means getting to the train on time.” As we resumed walking, Lyra excitedly bounced around us. “There are so many exciting panels this year, I read through the little pamphlet they sent me with all the events in it and I think we will go to the Fact or Fiction panel first, then go to the History of Anthropology, and then…”

I tuned her out as she continued to talk about all the many things she planned on doing at Anthro Con and instead reveled in the feeling of no longer having a giant weight on my back. Soon enough we had reached the train station, and by 8:50 we had boarded the train out of Ponyville. “You all right Tavi?” Vinyl asked as we were ushered to our booth. “I don’t think I’ve seen you smile this much in… ever, actually.”

I quickly contained my smile before answering Vinyl’s question, “You will have to pardon my enthusiasm, it’s just that,” I paused to suppress the laughter that was building in my throat, “I am quite excited to see other parts of Equestria.”

“You mean you are excited to leave Pony-”

“Don’t say it while we are still in the town,” I said, cutting her off, “The town might hear you and decide to stop us.”

“Uhmm, yeah, of course. Silly me,” Vinyl said before looking back at Lyra and Bon Bon and exchanging a look with them.

The four of us then fell into conversation, with Lyra and Vinyl enthusiastically discussing Anthro Con while Bon Bon and I spoke about the other attractions near the Baltimare Harbor. “Oh, there is this wonderful bar next to the convention center. I always go there when all the Anthro stuff gets a bit overwhelming to me.”

Lyra wrapped a foreleg around Bon Bon and drew her close at that, “Don’t sell yourself short Bonnie, you had a lot of fun last year. You even won the human dancing contest.”

“Human dancing contest?” I asked, unable to contain my curiosity.

“Yeah,” Lyra said, positively beaming, “It’s like a dancing contest, but you have to dance on your two back legs like a human would.”

Bon Bon’s face was turning a very vivid shade of crimson, “It’s nothing, I just like dancing, and all the time I spend on my back legs making sweets gave me a bit of an edge.”

A sudden shrill whistle pierced through the air then and a few seconds later the train was pulling away from the station. “Whoo! Baltimare here we come,” Vinyl said, cheering. “I can’t wait to get to the Mareiott, our room… you’re gonna love it Tavi.”

“What is so special about our room?” I asked. “I would assume it is very similar to most other rooms in most other hotels.”

“Yeah, but…” She trailed off for a few seconds before waving a hoof in the air dismissively, “You will see.” Vinyl turned her attention back to Lyra and they resumed talking about all the many things they could do at Anthro Con while I closed my eyes and focused on the clacking of the wheels.

A few minutes later, the conductor’s voice crackled on the speaker system, “Mares and Gentlecolts, we have just left Ponyville’s city limits. Pl-”

My ecstatic cheering drowned out the rest of his announcement, “We’re free. I’m free. You thought you could break me, Ponyville, drive me to the edge of sanity, but you were wrong and now I’m free of you for almost two entire weeks. Free to recover and grow stronger and prepare for your inevitable counter attack, because Octavia Melody will not be beaten by the likes of you!” My attention turned to the three friends who were in the cabin with me, and I suddenly became aware of just how eccentric my outburst seemed to them. “I apologize,” I said, bowing my head in apology, “Perhaps my enthusiasm at the prospect of leaving Ponyville got the better of me and my sense of decorum.”

“It… it’s alright,” Vinyl said, patting me on the back, “You’ve had a very rough week and it’s only natural that you’d be excited about spending some time away from… things.” Things like the chaos god that was conspiring with Ponyville to drive me insane. Unsuccessfully conspiring, I feel compelled to add.

For the next several hours we talked about a great multitude of issues, with Vinyl graciously occupying Lyra when she wished to talk about Anthro Con and allowing Bon Bon and I to have an appropriate civil conversation.

“Oh hey, Tavi,” Vinyl said as the sun reached its mid point, “We are in the Appleachian Mountains, the heart of the Apple Family’s mercantile empire.”

“I’d hardly count having a monopoly on all apple related products to be a mercantile empire.”

Vinyl laughed at that, “They don’t just do Apples, they’ve been branching out for years. I mean, they struck big with Apple Records when they signed on the Beat-Tails, but just recently they started branching out with Apple Technologies which makes… something or another. There are other things too, but if you want to do business in Equestria, you are going to have to do it with the Apples.”

“Huh, that hardly seems fair for other business owners and… wait, did you say Apple Records?” I asked as my mind finally caught up with my mouth.

She nodded.

“The fastest growing upstart in the record industry that my father once charitably described as ‘a gnat nipping at the heels of giants?’ That Apple Records?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

I permitted myself to smile at that revelation. “Oh, no reason really. Just putting some puzzle pieces together.”

Vinyl let out a very undignified snort at that, “Fine, keep me in the dark then, see what I care. I mean, it’s not like I am going around being mysterious and keeping secrets from you.”

“I’m sorry Vinyl,” I said, frowning, “It’s just I am not sure how to properly process this news. On the one hoof, the chance of seeing my parents be humbled feels incredibly cathartic, but on the other hoof, I just want the three of us to put the past behind us.”

She smiled and pressed her lips again mine, “It’s fine, you have a lot going on and I can’t even begin to figure out how I would feel in your place, I mean, my parents loved and supported me.”

I glared at her.

“Not to say that your parents didn’t love you, but you have to admit that they didn’t really support you… like, at all.”

With a sigh, I nodded my head in agreement. “I understand your objections, and I will admit that objectively they were probably some of the worst parents in Equestria, but a small part of me still hopes for a happy reconcilliation, even though I admit such a thing is an implausible foal’s dream.”

“Hey,” Vinyl said, patting me on the back, “I kind of get it. I mean, I don’t understand what it is like, but I get that your feelings on the matter are probably pretty mixed up. Does that make some sense?”

I nodded my head, “Of course, and the only reason I am able to see them at all and attempt reconciliation is because I know you will be by my side throughout the ordeal.”

After that, Lyra and Bon Bon voiced their support, and soon enough the conversation had moved back to Anthro Con while Bon Bon and I occasionally managed to steer it towards the topic of just what we would do on the cruise, with the near universal consensus being to relax and take in the view. Eventually, the other three drifted off to sleep, with Bon Bon professing that she and Lyra were used to a nap in early afternoon, and Vinyl still being tired from having to get up before noon, even though she and I went to bed at the exact same time last night, and I feel perfectly fine.

With the three of them asleep, I decided to take a tour of the train and carefully removed myself from our cabin. After only a few minutes of searching, I managed to find the bar, and and take a seat (Granted, finding a bar on a train is not an impressive feat as there are only two directions that I could explore in).

“Well hello, little lady, what can I get you?” The bartender said while polishing a glass and I was struck by how utterly cliche the situation was. If I hadn’t desperately wanted a drink, I might have just turned around and left.

“Let’s see, I am being dragged to Anthro Con, and then after that, I have to meet my parents who I haven’t spoken with in several years. Also, I am still working to suppress the memory of a series of traumatic deaths, so let’s go with something strong.”

The bartender barely batted an eye at that as he pulled out a glass bottle containing a clear fluid. “I’m sorry to hear that, were the ponies who died close to you?”

“Very.”

“You know, if you want to talk about what happened, I’d be more than happy to listen,” he said as he poured my drink.

I shook my head, “I appreciate the offer, but I am trying to repress the memories, not relive them. Besides, discussing my problems with a bartender strikes me as something more at home in a bad story than real life.” I raised my glass up after he finished pouring, “But thank you very much for the drink.”

Eyeing the unknown substance with a sense of unease, I drew it closer to my lips, and then took one of the tiniest sips imaginable. It was actually a rather lovely drink. Quite strong, but it managed not to overwhelm the palate as long as I didn’t do anything idiotic and attempt to consume the entire glass in one gulp. “This… This is quite good,” I said, taking a slightly bolder sip, “Tell me, what is it? There is a faint taste to it that I don’t recognize.”

He smiled and nodded as he put away the bottle, “That would be the juniper berries, drinking gin is probably the only time most ponies actually taste them these days. To be more specific, that was a glass of Hayeater gin, although if you are willing to try something a bit more refined, I could crack open a bottle of Original Blue Gin.”

“This will be fine for now,” I said after taking another sip. “If I want anything more, I will let you know.”

There was some non-commital mumbling on his end and I went back to sipping my gin. After a few experimental tastes, I concluded that I preferred it to the wines I had sampled previously. While the wines were fine, they struck me as trying to hard, as if they somehow desperately wanted you to enjoy them. Gin, on the other hoof, was quite content to be itself. It didn’t care if you liked it and if not consumed properly it would very easily overpower and burn your taste buds. It was a confident drink, and I found myself thinking that it possessed that same ease and sophistication that first drew me to Canterlot and the cello all those years ago.

I spent the next several hours sipping my gin while the bartender spoke to other patrons before looking at the clock and seeing it was almost three in the afternoon. I decided to head back to our room to see if Vinyl and the rest of the group had awoken from their nap yet.

“Hey,” Vinyl said as I walked back into the room, “Where were you off to?” As she spoke, she groggily rubbed the last bit of sleep out of her eye.

“I decided to take a walk around the train and I might have had a drink or two.” I stumbled into my seat, the gin affecting my coordination and managing to take the edge off of the last few days. As I sat down with my friends, I felt the tingling combination of optimism and friendliness that only comes from a few drinks.

“You had a drink in the middle of the afternoon?” Vinyl asked, a look of concern entering into her eyes.

I nodded my head enthusiastically not concerned about how improper such a display of enthusiasm might be. “Yes. After our talk I was feeling… a little nervous, so I thought a glass or two of alcohol might to calm my nerves. It did. Also, I can’t believe I never tried gin until today.”

“You had gin?” Bon Bon asked, lifting her head up. “How many glasses did you have?”

“I only had a couple of glasses, well, I suppose three doesn’t constitute a couple, but not many, that is the point.”

“Yeah, you realize that proper distilled gin is like… 40% alcohol right? You might want to just relax for a minute, or an hour, you know, just… stay calm and don’t do too much. You get kind of funny when you drink,” Vinyl said, stroking my mane.

“What do you mean?” I asked, “The last time I had a few drinks we had a lovely time and I believe that actually started our relationship.”

“True,” she said, nodding her head, “But you always freak out once you sober up and in four hours or so you will be chastising me for allowing you to be so affectionate in front of Lyra and Bon Bon.”

“It’s fine,” Lyra said, “Oh! On the subject of being overly affectionate, the sound-proofing spell you have on our walls, it was designed by you to only work one way, so we can hear any loud noises you make in Tavi’s bedroom. I tried fixing that, but I don’t want to interfere with the spell matrix you used and cancel out both of our spells.”

“Wait,” I said, suddenly feeling the blood drain from my face, “Do you mean to say that you have been hearing us whenever…”

The two of them nodded.

“Well,” I said, trying to smile, “I suppose that makes us even for the time Vinyl cancelled her sound proofing spell when I first moved to Ponyville.” Vinyl was right, I would be absolutely mortified by intoxicated me’s actions now that I have had a chance to sober up. Thankfully, I will rectify that situation as soon as I am done writing this entry by heading to the hotel bar and sampling some more fine gins.

Lyra and Bon Bon stared at me in shock. “Vinyl?” I asked, “I didn’t tell them about that incident did I?”

She shook her head. “No. No you didn’t.”

“Listen, it happened on…” I searched my brain for when exactly that incident had happened, “I think it might have been my fourth or fifth day here, and I really can’t hold it against you. In fact, I am almost nostalgic for the days when hearing two of my best friends being intimate with each other was considered unpleasant. I’m sorry for not telling you about the incident, but I thought such a thing would be improper and would just create an unnecessary tension in our relationships.”

Finally, Bon Bon mustered up the courage to speak. “You, you didn’t… How much did you hear?”

“Not much, I think I fled the room at about the time you were mentioning something about magic fingers. Now I have to ask what you heard from Vinyl and I.”

Bon Bon responded, but I have decided to omit this section of the day’s events. Let us just sum up and say that Lyra and Bon Bon heard quite a few things and that I was appropriately mortified by the discovery. On the upside, Lyra and Vinyl didn’t talk about Anthro Con for some time as we instead sat in an uncomfortable silence. I actually quite enjoyed not being the only one who was terribly embarrassed for once.

“Hey,” Vinyl said, valiantly trying to dispel the uncomfortable silence that had befallen our group, “Like Tavi said, we both heard some things we would rather not hear, and its not like anypony got hurt, so you know, let’s just move on.” Ah Vinyl, I love the way you try to fix any terrible situation you find yourself in, even if it can be a touch annoying when the problem has no easy solution. However, in this particular instance, it seemed to be effective, as our friends quickly fell back into conversation with each other, and soon enough I was being subjected to tales of Anthro Con past. Thank you, Vinyl.

“Oh, Vinyl, remember that Anthro Con like… five years ago, where it was us and Homage? We stayed up until four in the morning playing Cards Against Equanity and drinking… Hey Vinyl, what were we drinking that night? Remember, it was that weird blue stuff?”

Vinyl had gone completely rigid, her continence turned into a grimace. “Lyra, I hadn’t spoken about Homage to Tavi yet... I was planning on doing that once we got to the hotel room.”

“Homage?” I asked, “Based on your reaction, I would guess that she is an old marefriend.”

“Not just an old marefriend,” Lyra said, speaking before Vinyl could think of a response, “They dated kind of on and off for years. Half the time they were in their room working on DJ stuff, and the other half of the time they spent fighting.

“Lyra,” Bon Bon said, “Maybe we should let Vinyl do most of the talking and give the two of them some space.” Her tone left no doubt that this was less of a question and more of a demand, and the two of them walked out of our room.

“Vinyl,” I said, “I understand that you have had multiple marefriends in the past, and I don’t ask you to tell me everything about them, in fact I would prefer to be left in the dark about some details, but I am concerned about why you are having such a reaction to the mention of her name.”

She took a deep breath to steady herself before speaking, “Right, and… wait, you aren’t upset?”

I shook my head, “You dated ponies before we met, and the fact that you had substantially more life experience than I did was one of the things that first drew me to you. Well, that and the fact that you seem to have this general unflappability that is currently missing, which brings me back to my question of: Why did the mere mention of your former marefriend make you so stressed?”

“You see,” she began, “We kind of had a rocky relationship. Like, half the time it was wonderful and we were spending all this time together and doing stuff and the other half of the time we just kind of fought with each other and bickered and we would stop seeing each other for a while, then a month or so later we would run into each other and the whole thing would start again.That went on for about four years, until I eventually got tired of doing the same thing over and over.”

“So you broke things off with her in a firm fashion making it clear that there would be no future reconciliation and she didn’t take that well,” I said, thinking I had finally figured out why Vinyl was so stressed at the mere mention of her name. If the two had parted on less than amicable terms then it was only natural that she would-

“Not quite,” she said, interrupting my train of thought and destroying the sense of satisfaction that came with having solved the mystery.

“It was more like I decided to just stop seeing her ever. Like, I haven’t taken a gig outside of Ponyville in months cause that is when we usually run into each other.”

“But she doesn’t come to Ponyville?” I asked, not wanting to make any assumptions.

“Nah,” she said, shaking her head, “She’s kind of like you that way. Would much rather be living it up in a big city than spending any time in Ponyville.”

“I wonder why.”

“So anyways,” she continued, “I figured if I didn’t leave Ponyville for a while, I would have some time to sort my life out.”

I groaned, “Vinyl, I adore you, but why in Equestria would you exile yourself to Ponyville? How can running into an old marefriend be worse than staying in that town?”

“Because,” she said with a sigh, “I wanted something more than what I had, I mean, I am 26 years old, every time I visit my parents they ask if I found somepony nice, and I guess I just decided that I would rather have a mature relationship as opposed to something fun and volatile.”

“You know,” I said, still feeling the alcohol clouding my judgment and lowering my inhibitions, “A lesser mare might be upset with you for implying that our relationship isn’t fun. However, I understand the intent and have decided not to hold it against you this time and will instead applaud your efforts to mature as a mare.”

She started to say something and raised a hoof, “And yes, I am aware that, considering my bouts of instability, praising for your maturity might seem a touch hypocritical.”

“Actually, I was going to say that our relationship is way more fun than the one with Homage. I mean, maybe it’s not the same type of fun you’d have in a rave at three in the morning, but it’s like that feeling of satisfaction that comes from doing a knock-out set at a gig.”

“Could you translate that for those of us who don’t speak DJ?” I asked unsure of whether or not I should be upset at the comparison.

Vinyl tapped her chin in thought, “Well, you know that silly mindless fun you get from going to a party or like when you have a one night stand with this mare who is really good in… No, bad example. It’s like the difference between hearing a song and performing a song. One is quick and easy to digest but not rewarding in the long term and the other takes a lot of practice and work and isn’t easy at all, but also makes you feel like you did something important.”

I finally gave in to the temptation to be difficult. I blame the alcohol. “So what you are saying is that your relationship with me is less fun and more taxing hard work.” I smiled and leaned against the window in our room (There has to be a better word to describe those little rooms in trains. I must look into this later for future journal entries).

“Yeah, that is exactly what I am saying,” she said, returning the smile, “Its just work all the time. It’s actually pretty maddening.”

“Well, thank you for talking about all of this with me. But I still don’t see what caused you to get so upset when Lyra mentioned her name.”

“Oh right,” she said rubbing the back of her head, “Well, the thing is that Homage pretty regularly DJs for Anthro Con and we might possibly run into her. So… probably should have led with that, actually.”

“It’s… It’s fine, “I said, “There are going to be thousands of ponies here right?”

She nodded.

“So the odds are that we won’t even run into her and everything will be fine.” I would like to blame the alcohol for my blatant tempting of fate. If I was still in Ponyville, Homage probably would have barged into our room that instant. As it was, I still had a few hours left before I felt absolute hatred. “Anyways, we should probably go find Lyra and Bon Bon.”

“Actually, we probably shouldn’t. If Lyra and Bon Bon are alone on a train, they are probably very alone.”

“You mean they are…” I trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“Most likely,” she said, nodding, “The two of them are… It’s always so cool how into each other they are even though they’ve been dating for like years.”

I nuzzled her neck, not needing to say anything and fearing that if I did speak I would engage in some gross sentimentality such as saying that we could work on having what they have, although without the ~~train sex~~. Just thinking about either the display of sentimentality or the public acts of… affection makes me shutter. Instead, we were quite content to sit next to each other and let the minutes pass away in silence until our friends returned.

“Thank you,” Vinyl said after some time had passed.

“For what?” I asked, still resting my head against her neck.

“For… I don’t know, not being totally insane. I mean, compared to most of my other marefriends you are like a bastion of reason.”

“That’s… actually incredibly sad.”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding, “But I mean, you have your issues sure, but you’re heart is always in the right place, and I guess that is what matters to me.”

I smiled at that, “I know I’ve already thanked you quite a bit for supporting me both physically and mentally the last few weeks, but I just wanted to…” I trailed off as my thoughts slipped away from me, “Thank you, you are the one shining light that keeps me sane in Ponyville.”

She laughed at that, “Come on, it’s not all bad.”

“Well, Lyra and Bon Bon are lovely if a bit eccentric, and I suppose I am rather fond of Rarity and a few other ponies as well. The town itself can burn though.”

“Okay, but the town has some other charms right?”

I shook my head. “Sorry Vinyl, I can’t same I’m overly fond of the myriad ways the town keeps trying to break me.”

Her smile immediately shifted into an expression of concern. “Can you stop saying things like that? It makes me worry that you actually think the town is some malevolent entity.”

“But it is! You’ve seen what it’s done to me, how could you possibly think otherwise? Maybe it doesn’t have a vendetta against you, but it hates me with a passion.”

“Alright,” she said, rubbing her forehead, “I can see why you would have some… decent reasons to think that, just… I worry you know? About how you are coping with all that’s happened, and when you start talking like that I can practically see the cracks forming.”

The expression of concern calmed me to an extent and I decided to relent in my accusations, and moved to kiss her cheek. “Thank you for looking after me, and I promise you that I’m… well, I’m still not fine, but I’m trying to keep everything together and I promise that I won’t go stark raving mad. After all, I am the only sane mare left in Equestria.” In hindsight, saying that out loud probably didn’t help my claim, but Vinyl let it pass without comment. After that, we passed the time until Lyra and Bon Bon’s returned by listening to the faint clacking of the train’s wheels as my head rested on Vinyl’s side. If I must say anything positive about the town, it has certainly taught me to savor the fleeting moments of idle perfection and to treasure them during the ensuing maelstrom of madness.

The maelstrom of madness ensued as Lyra and Bon Bon barged back into our room, with Lyra bouncing around excitedly, “Gals! Did you hear? Our train is only a half hour away from the station. Thirty minutes! That’s thirty minutes until we are in Baltimare and only an hour until we are in the registration line for Anthro Con!”

Bon Bon looked at us sympathetically, “We might have had some coffee while we explored the train and…” She brushed an errant hair off to her side and I noted that both of their manes were in a state of disarray, “Well, she is rather excited about Anthro Con.”

“I would have never guessed,” I said.

If the earlier hours of hearing Lyra speak about Anthro Con had been unpleasant, this last half hour was absolutely unbearable as she absolutely refused to let anypony else get a word into the conversation, but thankfully, I managed to tune her out until the train came to a complete stop and Vinyl tapped me on the shoulder to bring me back to reality. “You alright Tavi? You were just kind of staring off into space for a while.”

I nodded and looked around to find Lyra and Bon Bon missing. “Where is everypony else?”

“Lyra bolted out of the room about five seconds before the train started slowing down, so let’s go find her before she reaches the convention center.”

We walked out and got our baggage before heading out into the streets of Baltimare. As cities went, I had seen better. The city reeked of the ocean and raw fish, but the streets were all paved and it was an actual city, so I couldn’t complain too terribly much. I walked down the city streets simply happy to be in a city that had some degree of culture, even if it paled in comparison to Canterlot or even Manehattan.

Unfortunately, my enjoyment of being in an actual, honest to goodness city was marred by the groups of poorly dressed mares and stallions who were heading in the same direction we were. If their costumes hadn’t been so absolutely outlandish and ridiculous looking, they might have brought back unpleasant memories from an event which shall remain rather nameless and hopefully out of every last recess of my mind.

Most of the ponies were wearing pants, an article of clothing I am made to understand is traditionally worn by the minotaurs for formal occasions. However, as Lyra explained repeatedly and enthusiastically whenever I asked a question, humans are bipedal and have a peculiar nudity taboo, meaning they wear pants at all times, even when they are sleeping and showering if Lyra is to be believed. I must make a note to ask Twilight about this when I return as she claims to have visited humans, or I could completely forget about this issue and try to do something productive with my time.

“So, Vinyl, do these ponies actually believe humans exist or are they just…”

“They are mostly just fans of the movie serials,” she said as we moved several paces behind Lyra and Bon Bon, “There aren’t many diehard fans like Lyra.”

“Then, just to make sure we are clear,” I said, “Even the other anthropologists think Lyra is a touch eccentric.”

“Sure,” she said as we were surrounded by more and more anthropologists, “But you know Lyra is one of the nicest ponies around and completely harmless.”

“I know,” I said, muttering, “Like I said earlier, she is a dear friend to me, but I am still having trouble getting used to the idea of a grown mare being interested in humans. Just look at these ponies, some of them look relatively normal, but most of them just look odd.”

“Come on, these are normal ponies, if they weren’t dressed up you wouldn’t even know they were anthropologists.”

I let out a sigh as we entered into the Mareiott, “Of course I wouldn’t, I don’t normally suspect ponies of being anthropologists.”

We then checked into the hotel with Lyra prodding us the entire time to hurry up. I didn’t really see why she was so anxious, but then, I don’t think humans are real, so I suppose there is a very fundamental difference in viewpoints that I have yet to bridge. As promised, our room was lovely and the view of the Baltimare Harbor was… perhaps stunning is too strong a word, but it was definitely gorgeous. I look at it now and it is a ring of lights surrounding a black inky void, but at sunset when the last rays of Celestia’s sun were reflected off the harbor surface, then it was something to behold. At least the view is noteworthy, I thought as I started unpacking my luggage.

“What are you doing?” Vinyl asked while I made sure that all of my bowties were neatly arranged in one of the dresser drawers.

“Unpacking of course, we can’t let our clothes stay inside our suitcases this entire trip can we?”

She shrugged. “Why not?”

I rolled my eyes, “For reasons of basic hygiene and standards. Now I want to have at least one night on the town before all of this anthropology business starts in earnest.”

“Well you can do that after we register.” She gestured towards our door. “Come on.”

“Can’t you register for me? Unlike some ponies, I didn’t get to take a nap on the train ride, and I would like to see what Baltimare has to offer.”

She just smiled and kissed me again, “Stop complaining, I promise it will be fun.”

Registration was not fun. The second I was walked in I was assaulted by the odor of a thousand unwashed bodies, and I felt as if the stench was somehow permeating my coat. Thankfully, I managed not to wretch as we walked up to Lyra and Bon Bon, who were both dressed as, humans, I suppose. They were both standing on their hind legs while wearing a shirt and pants. They also had fitted prosthetic gloves to their forehooves to imitate hands. To make things worse, they weren’t the only ponies walking around on two legs. “Just… I have so many questions,” I said, “But I suppose they can all boil down to just… Why?”

“Well,” Lyra said, not picking up on my disdain, “I always dress up as a human for Anthro Con, see, I have this back brace to allow me to walk around on two feet and then we have these prosthetic hands to complete the effect. I made them myself. You should totally go to the vendor store and pick up a shirt or too. Not many ponies are walking around without wearing any anthro-merch.” She gestured over towards Vinyl and I looked behind me to find that my roommate was currently wearing a shirt with a cartoonish human and the phrase “Friendship is Science” on it. Traitor.

“I will do that after we registered,” I said, doing my best to be diplomatic. “It’s fascinating how much work you put into this one costume.”

“Thanks!” Lyra said, positively beaming, “But its not just this costume, I brought a whole bunch of them with me. In fact, I could probably loan you one of my old back braces and…” She pulled a notebook and pencil out of her pocket with her magical abilities and began to draw furiously. “There,” she floated the notebook over to where I could see it, “What do you think?”

It was… Actually, the drawing wasn’t that terrible on a conceptual level. The human depicted was obviously meant to represent me, wearing my bowtie and carrying herself with my signature pride and dignity. However, this version of me was wearing a white dress shirt, a grey vest, and a black suit. “That’s… that’s actually not bad. You drew all this just now?”

“Oh no,” she said, shaking her head and laughing, “I have anthro versions of all of my friends, I just made a few quick changes to your version, your hairstyle was all wrong in the drawing and I had to fix it.”

“Well, it’s very well done, and I suppose it wouldn’t kill me to dress up. Just… don’t tell anypony I know.”

“Really?” She asked, her eyes lighting up as she cartwheeled around us. The mare certainly knew how to walk and move like a human, and I imagined her spending many an evening practicing walking in her basement. Such a guess probably wasn’t too far off the mark. “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, thank you!” Without thinking she wrapped me in a tight embrace and I let out a whimper of protest as she pressed against my still mending ribs.

“Right, sorry,” she said as she let me go, “It’s just nopony but Bonnie has ever agreed to cosplay with me before. I guess Vinyl tried, but she is no good at walking on two legs and she pretty much trashed our hotel room. I’m so excited!”

Vinyl leaned in next to me and whispered, “You realize you pretty much have to dress up with her now, right?”

I sighed and nodded, “It’s what I get for being diplomatic. Still, when in Roam, right?”

“That’s the spirit,” she said, patting me on the back. “Who knows, we just might make an anthropologist of you yet.”

I scoffed at that.

We slowly made our way through the line, inexorably advancing towards what I assumed to be the end of the line before discovering that there was still plenty of more line left for us to suffer through. Lyra’s constant enthusiasm as she explained every part of the human mythos and what things she thought the creators got wrong actually managed to calm me and distract me from this never-ending line.

“Hey Vinyl,” somepony from behind me said. I turned to find a pair of dark blue forelegs wrapped firmly around my marefriend’s waist. Vinyl’s expression of shock and surprise neatly mirrored my own.

“Homage,” she said cooly as she removed herself from the other pony’s embrace, allowing me to see the mare I was quickly developing an intense dislike for. Her coat was a dark blue and her shockingly purple mane was styled into a mohawk. A closer inspection revealed other things for me to dislike, such as the her nose and eyebrow rings, the arrogance she carried herself with, and, of course, the fact she just hugged my marefriend so casually. Still, a calmer voice inside of me argued, we shouldn’t be so rash to make our judgments.

I reluctantly agreed with myself and thought that perhaps my own jealousy was tainting my view of the mare. After all, friends hug each other all the time.

As if reading my mind, Homage leaned in to try and pilfer a kiss from my marefriend who had the good sense of stepping out of the way. The voice in my head urging me to withhold judgment grew substantially quieter.

“Hey, what’s the matter? You’re acting like I’m a stranger or something,” Homage said.

“Homage,” Vinyl said with far more civility than I would have, “This is my marefriend Tavi.”

She turned to face me and I could practically feel the distaste radiating from her. I did my best to match it. “Huh,” she said, “You don’t look like one of DJ-P0N3’s typical fanfillies, but maybe she is looking for a bit of variety in her rebounds.”

Alright, the better angel of my nature said, feel free to kick her flank.

“Actually,” I said, doing my best to remain cordial while fantasizing about her suffering through any one of the gruesome deaths I had experienced first hoof. Apparently all I needed to do to be able to think about Nightmare Night without having one of my episodes was imagine all of the terrible things that happened to me happening to someone I well and truly detested. “I had never heard of DJ-P0N3 until after I moved in with-”

“Oh, I get it,” Homage said, “Vinyl must have finally cracked and gotten a Prench maid. She always did have a weakness for servants.”

“Homage, please,” Vinyl began to say, but I cut her off.

“A maid? Listen here you sullen wench, I don’t know who the buck you think you are, but allow me to educate you about who I am. I am Octavia Melody, hoofpicked by the Princesses to form the second royal orchestra. I have gone through tribulations your tiny mind couldn’t even begin to conceive. I am not a maid, I am most certainly not a rebound, and I will not suffer your insults a second longer, so GET OUT!”

My friends and approximately half of the line looked at me, shocked by my outburst while Homage just rolled her eyes. “Alright, alright. Geeze, psycho much?” She walked away before turning back to face us. “And Vinyl, if you want to spend time with a mare who isn’t completely nuts and perhaps relive some old memories, you know where to find me.”

Before I could chase her down and beat her into a purple and blue pulp, she had faded into the crowd and I was left to fume whilst staring at the spot I had last seen her. “Do you think she managed to register before us?” Lyra asked, “Because if not, she is totally going to lose her spot in line.”

“Lyra, do you remember our discussion about the appropriate time and place for comments?”

She nodded.

“Do you think that now is the appropriate time to be asking if Homage managed to register before us?”

“Probably not,” she said, looking back towards me. “Hey, Tavi, are you alrigh-”

“No I’m not alright,” I said, turning to face her, “When Vinyl was discussing her old marefriend, she neglected to mention the fact that she was completely insufferable and…” I moved to massage my forehead with one hoof. “You know what, just forget it.”

“Hey, I know what will cheer you up.” Her head bobbed up and down head rhythmically, a piano began to play from… somewhere, and she started to sing.

Human beings fascinate me, being just the way they are.

“Please tell me she isn’t about to start singing,” I said, turning to face to Vinyl.

As if to answer my question several ponies joined in for the second line.

Tell me, little pony, can you push a cart or drive a car?

“Of course they are,” I said before Vinyl could appropriately answer. In fact, the traitor had started to sing along. By the fourth line, half of the crowd had joined in and some were to engage in choreographed dancing.

It’s a mystery, anthropology!

“Oh that’s it,” I said to nopony in particular as I turned towards the exit, “I have to get out of here.”

Fingers, toes, and tiny noses, brownish hair and tannish skin

Would it be too much to ask to see the world they’re living in?

Everybody tells me that it’s old and fake mythology.

It’s a mystery, anthropology!

“Excuse me,” I said as I worked to jostle my way past the singers, “Step aside, sane mare, coming through, make way.” By now, most everypony had joined in with the choreographed musical number that my friend had started in an effort to cheer me up. It probably would have been kind to stay around and listen, and the readiness with which these ponies joined the song was impressive, but on the other hoof, I wasn’t about to listen to a thousand off-key voices singing about humans.

Aren’t you bored of brushing your coat, styling your mane with your hooves?

I don’t mean to butt in and gloat, but ancient history prooooves!

The door was just a few feet away. Of course, those few feet were positively packed with dancing ponies, but if I timed my movements just right, I should be able to slip through an opening.

Humans don't have wings or magic. They don't need it; they don't care!

All they've got's imagination, new inventions everywhere!

Babies, children, teens and elders, all alike have clothes to wear

It's so real to me, anthropology!

Albert Einstein, Cleopatra, William Shakespeare, Elton John,

Michael Phelps, Barack Obama...who's to say that they're all gone?

Maybe humans like us too and dress like us at BronyCon?

It's so real to me, anthropology!

Yeah, they've had a couple of fights,

Nobody's perfect you see,

Still I say I'm born with the rights

to study whatever I please!

There it was, the opening I needed. With one last frantic dash, I rushed through the swirling mass of dancing ponies, carefully weaving through the opening they had created while running the risk of being completely surrounded by a single misstep. Thankfully, I managed to reach the door within a few seconds.

I don’t need to horse around now. I can stand on two legs!

I would trade my magic powers for a pair of new legs!

Grab your camera, come on, zoom in

‘Cause your favorite mare’s a human,

ME!

I turned back to look at the group of singing ponies one last time, At the center of the impromptu musical number, Lyra was being held up by a group of ponies. “You’re all crazy!” I shouted before walking out the door.

That is who I’ll-

I slammed the door and walked out onto the Baltimare streets, relishing the sounds of normal city life filling the air while walking back to my hotel room. If the next three days are going to be like this, I might just stay in my room drinking. In fact, I am tempted to do that anyways.

However, it’s currently getting late, so I think I will go downstairs for a nightcap and wait for Vinyl to get back from registration as it is currently almost midnight, and I am wondering what is taking so long. A small part of my mind worries that she went to visit Homage, but I am doing everything I can to drown that voice out. Hopefully, the next few days will be a touch less insane, and the nagging fear that is developing in my gut will prove unfounded.

Day 22: Anthro-Con

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Everything’s gone wrong. I should have known things would be bad because of the dreams, but I didn’t listen, I… I refused to, and now ponies are pounding at the door and I don’t know how long I have until the last confrontation. In the last twenty-four hours things have gone so terribly, terribly wrong and… well, it would probably be best if I started at the beginning.

Anyways, Thursday night, after I stopped writing I went down to the bar to have something to drink while I waited for Vinyl to return. And then I waited and waited and waited. While I waited, I decided to help myself to another glass of gin, and then a glass of scotch, and then several more glasses of gin. Finally, at almost two in the morning Vinyl walked into the hotel lobby.

“Jusht where have you been?” I asked, stumbling over towards her, far too intoxicated for my own good, “Please don’t tell me you were with her.”

“Oh hey, Tavi,” Vinyl said, rubbing the back of her head. I noticed she had a pair of saddlebags that she hadn’t left the house in, “After we finished registering, I thought I might go visit a bookstore.”

I raised an eyebrow, “You went to a bookstore?”

“Yeah, you know me, always got my nose in a book.”

“Of… course…” I said, making no attempt to veil my suspicion. “Do you mind if I look at them?” I reached a hoof out towards her.

I felt a vice press against my heart as all of my earlier fears of Vinyl leaving me for Homage returned, with the word “rebound” echoing loudly in my head. “Vinyl, let me see the bag.”

My hoof shot out, reaching for her saddlebag, but in my inebriated state I was unable to balance on three hooves and I found myself toppling towards Vinyl, causing the two of us to fall to the floor and the contents of her satchel to spill out. There were several books with titles like Anger Management and Grief Counseling for Dummies. “Vinyl, what is this?”

She floated the books back into her satchel, “It’s… look, let’s go back to our room. If I let you keep making a scene in public, you will never forgive me in the morning, so come on.” Vinyl gestured towards the elevator and I followed along after her. Once we were in the elevators, I started speaking again.

“Why do you have all those books?” I asked as the elevator doors closed.

“Because,” she said, running a hoof through her mane, “I see you and it’s clear you’re not doing well, and I just want to help but I don’t know what to do, so I thought if I did some reading I might be able to help in some way.”

I sighed and for a moment, my frustrations and fears melted away, “You are helping, Vinyl, but this will take time.”

“I know that, but it seems like you are backsliding, I mean, you just spent the last I-don’t-know-how-many hours drinking at the bar by yourself.”

“What’s the problem with that? You and Lyra drink all the time.”

“Yeah, but it’s always with friends. I don’t drink by myself,” she said as the elevator doors opened and we started walking back to our room.

“Look,” I said as I stumbled down the hallway, “I know it’s bad, but it helps take the edge off of things, dulls the memories of Nightmare Night.”

“That’s the problem. I mean, I’m not super well educated about all this stuff, but I am pretty sure that drinking to cope is a very bad thing. Like… super bad,” she said as we walked into our room.

I tried to make a counterpoint but was unable to think of one before Vinyl resumed speaking, “Anyways, look, I’m not judging, I just want to understand and figure out how I can help. I’m not plotting anything or whatever you think is going on.”

A sigh escaped my lips as the tension that had been building over the last few hours found outlet, “I’m sorry for being so difficult, it’s just… her words have been echoing around in my head and,” I felt my throat constrict, “I’m not a rebound… am I?” My voice cracked at the last words and I pressed my face against her neck as an undignified sob wracked my body. Why was I so upset about this? Had her words really struck a nerve?

“No, of course not,” she said, stroking my mane, “Why would you even think that?”

“Because,” I said, desperately trying to think of a reason, “I think it would break me completely.” A laugh escaped my throat, “But I suppose that isn’t really a reason is it? It’s just a fear, a deep seated, unassailable fear that one of the last few good things I have is going to be destroyed, and I hate it. I hate that somepony so important to me can emotionally devastate me with a sentence. I hate that I’ve made myself so vulnerable. But most of all, I hate that I willingly embraced this weakness.” The words spilled out without the any thought or deliberation behind them.

“So, wait,” Vinyl said, pulling away, “Are you saying you don’t want to…” She trailed off, unable or unwilling to complete the sentence.

“No, absolutely not. But a part of me misses the old days when the only thing that made me happy was my cello. Now I have to walk around living with the knowledge that at any moment you could decide to emotionally devastate me.”

I laughed at my own words, “And now listen to me, I sound like the clingy marefriend that I always detested.”

“Wait,” she said as we got into our beds, “I thought I was your first marefriend.”

“It was a hypothetical marefriend,” I said, “Back when I was in Canterlot and was battling the pangs of loneliness, I would tell myself how lucky I was not to deal with any sort of romantic relationship as I thought they were far too time intensive, and the idea of somepony’s identity getting so wrapped up in another pony struck me, and still strikes me as, sickening even though I fear I am guilty of the same crime.”

Vinyl wrapped her forelegs around me, “Hey, that’s not what is happening. You’re just having trouble getting used to the idea of being so open with somepony. Believe me, I’ve had similar thoughts.”

“Really?” I asked as I pressed myself against her.

“Yeah, you know, it would probably do the both of us good to spend some time away from each other, so why don’t we both tour Anthro Con and do what interests us and then we will meet up after Anthropalooza, that way we can each do our own thing and you won’t be bored out of your head going to all the anthropology panels I plan on hitting up tomorrow.”

“I have to admit, that does sound rather appealing, and it frees me from having to spend the entire day listening to ponies talk about humans, so there are no objections on my end.”

“Great,” she said, kissing my neck as my eyelids grew heavy, “Now let’s get some sleep, Lyra will probably come knocking on our door at eight in the morning telling us to get up, and I want to get at least a little bit of sleep before then.”

As soon as my eyes closed, I was back in the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. Around me, monsters danced and growled, and Discord sat smiling. The small part of my mind that realized this was a dream worked to figure out which death this was going to be. Something pierced my back and a sharp pain raced up my spine. Well, this ruled out the burning deaths, I thought, and the flaying deaths, the freezing death, the explosion death. Only a hoofful of deaths started with something piercing my flesh, and most of them were relatively pleasant.

Then something began to burn in my chest. That meant there were only two possible deaths, envenomation and… The other part of me, the one that still felt every sting and bite and tear from that night shuttered. Please, not this one, she thought, I will take anything, just not this one. Not now, please. Of course her pleas were in vein. After all, I thought, laughing, this was my dream, why should I get what I want here?

The first of the eggs began to hatch. The flaying death, the freezing death, even the immolation death, just not this, she said, repeating her little mantra to herself. Not the eating. She rattled off the list deaths that would have been better while I moved as much of myself to the detached observer as possible. Maybe this time I could escape, leave her to suffer while I just looked on, observing.

I… she felt the larvae squirming inside of her, feasting, growing. She and I both knew it would only be a matter of minutes until they threatened to burst out of her flesh. Her friends and loved ones were surrounding her now. In turn, she asked each of them for help. One by one, they turned their backs on her, until it was just her and Vinyl.

“Sorry, Tavi,” Dream-Vinyl said, “I guess you were just a rebound after all.” Homage stepped out of the shadows and wrapped a foreleg around my marefriend as Octavia watched helplessly. The two of us knew the dream would end soon, and I hoped that this time I would be able to survive the dream unscathed.

Her skin stretched tight as the larvae prepared to burst forth. She bulged and bloated while the pleas for help still escaped her lips. Finally, in the instant when the flesh ruptured, the pleading mare and the detached observer merged back into one being, and all that was left was the sound of a mare screaming into the night.

“Tavi, wake up, it’s okay.” I immediately became aware of two things, the first was a shrill high-pitched shrieking, and the second was that somepony was nudging me. As my brain stumbled back into consciousness, I realized that Vinyl must have been trying to wake me from my nightmare and that I was the source of the shrieking. My mouth closed and the screaming subsided.

“Sorry for waking you,” I mumbled as I regained the slightest bit of composure. “I had really hoped I was done with those dreams.”

Vinyl stroked my mane, “It’s alright, like you said, these things take time, and I am sure there will be a few relapses. It was a bad one though?”

I nodded as I recalled the contents of the dream. “One of the worst.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

I shook my head, “No point in giving the both of us nightmares.”

She stroked my mane as I waited for the sobbing to subside. By the time I had finished, the night sky had turned grey and Vinyl had fallen back asleep. As carefully as I could, I crept out of bed and moved to the bathroom.

There she was, staring me in the mirror, her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes red and puffy, and her mane disheveled. “Why won’t you leave?” I asked her, “I want to be happy, to move on with my life and enjoy the company of my friends, but you just won’t go away will you? No matter what happens, you will keep dragging me back to Nightmare Night, back to…” I trailed off, “You know I hate you right? You’re everything I don’t want to be.”

Vinyl knocked on the bathroom door, “You alright in there Tavi? I thought I heard you talking.”

I mentally chastised myself for being such an idiot. Of course Vinyl would hear me, and of course she would come to investigate. She was a good pony, after all. “I’m fine Vinyl,” I said, smiling even though there was a door separating us, “I was just singing a song while I got ready.”

“Alright,” she said, a note of suspicion still linger in her voice, “Just… let me know if you need anything.”

After that, I heard her walk back to bed and I went back to looking at my reflection. I smiled, I had to really. If Vinyl knew I was still struggling with these silly little nightmares, she would worry and I couldn’t bear to inflict that upon her, so I did what any other reasonable mare would do, I buried all of my stress and fear and donned the mask of normal Octavia. Soon enough, I recognized the face looking back at me.

“A pleasure to see you again Miss Octavia.”

I nodded at her, “A pleasure to see you too, Miss Octavia,” I said, still brushing my hair.

“Glad to see you’re feeling like your old self again,” the mare in the mirror said, “Are you looking forward to Anthro-Con?”

We both laughed at that. “Of course not, anyways, as much as much as I would love to stay and chat, I really must be getting ready for Anthro-Con. After yesterday, I don’t feel like taking any half measures when it comes to my morning grooming.”

She bowed at me and… I realize as I write this that holding a conversation with my reflection might be considered slightly to moderately unhinged, but this is what I perceived and felt at the time. Perhaps Vinyl is right and I do need to see a psychologist but… No, I am the last sane mare in Equestria, I can’t be having any mental issues, it’s just not possible. As to why I was talking to myself, I am still not sure, but it must have been for a logical reason.

After my conversation with myself, I went about my daily grooming routine while Vinyl slept. Flashing the mirror one last smile, I opened the door and walked back out into our hotel room. “Good morning Vinyl,” I said, smiling happily..

“Hey,” she said after yawning, “Are you alright.”

My heart froze for a second and I felt my smile became taut, “Of course I’m alright, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because that nightmare really seemed to freak you out.”

I laughed, “I had a nightmare, it wasn’t anything real, and I’m certainly not going to spend all day moping because of it.”

She looked me over, and I saw suspicion in her eyes. On the one hoof, I did feel somewhat bad for not telling Vinyl the whole truth, but on the other hoof, telling her the truth would only cause her to worry. No, the best solution for everypony involved was for me to pretend to be recovering well until I somehow reached the point that I didn’t have to pretend anymore.

“Alright,” she said, “Just… if anything comes up, tell me. You know I am here for you.”

I nodded at her and smiled. I know that Vinyl, but I also know that you can’t fix this. No, the only pony who can do that is me.

“Anyways,” I said, clapping my hooves together, “You should probably get ready, knowing Lyra she is already walking around in that ridiculous costume of hers waiting for Bon Bon to tell her its okay to knock on our door.”

Vinyl rubbed her eyes, “But its still so early, I mean, the sun is barely up. Do you really thing Lyra will… Nevermind.”

“So go on and get ready, if we have some time afterwards, you can lay in bed and try to take a quick nap,” I said, before leaning in and planting a kiss on her neck.

“Hey, do you think maybe the both of us could lay in bed or…”

“We’ll see,” I said, still smiling, “Now go on.”

As soon as she entered the bathroom, I let out my breath. She had almost seen through my mask, she had thought something was wrong. Now Octavia her concern is normal, I told myself, after all, you did spend two hours in the restroom.

But she shouldn’t know that, I argued, she was asleep. No… something I did must have given it away. Was I too formal? Informal? I moved to the mirror next to our closet and examined myself. Everything seemed fine, my pupils might have been a bit smaller than they should have been, but that couldn’t have been what gave me away. Everything was fine, so how and why did she think I was lying?

Because I was lying. In hindsight, the problem was blindingly obvious. Thankfully, so was the solution. All I had to do was convince myself that I wasn’t lying, and it shouldn’t be that hard. After all, this was the mare I wanted to be, not the scared crying filly, so it wasn’t even really a lie. No, it was just a… Once again I am struck by the fact that my journal now reads like the ramblings of a delusional madpony. Would it be so terrible if I went to Doctor Whooves and spoke with him upon my return to… the town? He is an old acquaintance, and if, while catching up, I had to discuss some of the dilemmas I’ve been dealing with with him, it wouldn’t be an admission of insanity would it? Of course not. On the other hoof, what would be the prognosis if the last sane mare in Equestria went to a madpony for help? Certainly not positive.

Anyways, back to the story. After finally calming myself down, I made myself comfortable on one of the seating pillows and waited for Vinyl to finish showering. Things would be fine, I told myself, all I had to do was believe that one simple fact with every last facet of my being and it would be true.

Vinyl quickly finished showering, and as soon as she entered into the main room, my anxiety began to fade as we both spent some time in bed… talking before somepony knocked on the door.

“One minute,” I said as I scrambled out of the bed. Hopefully I wasn’t too much of a mess after my conversation with Vinyl. A quick glance at the mirror on the way to the door revealed that, while a few strands of hair were out of place, I still looked perfectly presentable.

“Good morning Lyra,” I said as I opened the door. My friend was standing, dressed in her Anthro Con outfit, wearing a mint green vest over a white shirt, and I am sorry if I am going into too much detail describing her atire, but human clothing is fascinating. It almost makes me wish that they were real. Almost. Not really though.

“Hey,” she said, grinning madly, “Why aren’t you in your costume yet? You said we would dress up together.”

I nodded at her, “I did say that, but if you would recall, I haven’t had time to assemble it. I promise I will be walking like a human on Saturday.”

“Alright,” she said as she walked into our room, “Oh hey, are you alright? You look off.” She leaned in close to give me a closer inspection. “Yep, its definitely the eyes. Your pupils are the size of pinpricks, and if I didn’t know any better, I would say you were sporting a wicked pair of crazy eyes right now.” Crazy eyes? Is that even a thing? No, it can’t be, just a common misconception, and besides, my eyes ~~were~~ are perfectly fine.

“That’s it,” Vinyl said as she rolled out of bed, “Couldn’t quite put my hoof on what was wrong, but it’s definitely the crazy eyes.”

My left eye twitched erratically and I shouted, “I am not crazy! You know, it’s beginning to get a bit hurtful that my closest and dearest friends keep insinuating that I’ve lost my mind, and I would certainly expect better from you Lyra. You of all ponies should be a bit more tolerant of another pony’s peculiarities. Or are we just supposed to walk eggshells when it comes to your human obsession even though it’s apparently acceptable to declare open season whenever I do something the least bit eccentric. And Vinyl…”

I stopped as I saw the look of concern and pain on their faces. Apparently my little outburst was just feeding their fears that I had somehow snapped. Taking a deep breath, I calmed myself. I had to be perfect, absolutely perfect, otherwise…

A scene from my previous nightmare re-emerged, Vinyl was turning her back on me to walk off with Homage while I was desperately asking why.

“Because,” this version of Vinyl said, “I don’t have time for a madmare.” With that the two of them walked off and I was suddenly thrust back into reality.

“I’m not a madmare!” I responded, earning more confused glances from my friends.

“Tavi,” Vinyl said, “You know you don’t have to go out today, Lyra and I will totally be fine if you just stay in the hotel room and rest.” And leave you all alone so Homage could seduce you? I couldn’t let that happen.

“Well we did come all the way out here for this and you really shoul-” Lyra was cut off as Vinyl jabbed an elbow into her side. Surprisingly, she didn’t sway that much considering she was walking around on two legs. “I mean, yes, you should totally do whatever you feel like.”

“I’m fine,” I said, flashing a reassuring smile. “And Lyra, I’m sorry for my earlier outburst, there is nothing wrong with your interest in anthropology.” I had to be perfect, I reminded myself, I had to excel in every way imaginable, to leave absolutely no doubt in Vinyl’s mind that I was the superior mare, otherwise she might… No, that option is unthinkable.

“Tavi, you are kind of acting odd, I really think you should just lay down and relax. I don’t want you to-”

“No,” I said, cutting my marefriend off, “I understand my behavior is slightly off, but that is only because I didn’t sleep well last night. As soon as I get a cup of coffee in my system, I will be fine.”

“Alright then,” she said, although I could still see the doubt in her eyes. “If you want you can tag along with me today. I know we said we would go off and do our own thing, but-”

I laughed and kissed Vinyl, “I’ll be fine dear, I appreciate the concern, but I think I can handle myself on my own for a few hours.’

“If you’re sure,” Vinyl said, “Just… You know I’ve kind of been worrying about you since…”

I smiled and waved a hoof, “I know Vinyl, now go have fun at Anthro-Con. I will be along shortly.”

“Just… if you need anything, I will be stopping at the game room every hour on the hour,” Vinyl said before turning to leave the hotel room with Lyra.”

As soon as they had left I moved to the mirror to make sure every last hair in my mane was in its proper place and give a closer examination to what the others had referred to as “crazy eyes.” While the pupils were slightly smaller than average, I didn’t note anything terribly insane about them. Probably just one of Lyra’s fanciful notions, or maybe… My eye twitched. Maybe Homage had planted the idea in their heads in an attempt to discredit me. I’d have to keep an eye on her to prevent her from spreading any more rumors about my mental well being, and that would require a costume.

I headed to the convention, and after one disastrous attempt at finding the vendor hall that culminated in me getting trapped in a broom closet for an hour, until one of the custodians came in to clean-up after a mare at one of the panels had a particularly awful case of stage fright. I thanked him profusely and he pointed me towards the the vendors.

Most of the vendors were selling various bits of homemade merchandise, shirts, and exorbitantly priced plushies. In the back of the room, a bright blue banner reading “Costumes by Rarity” caught my eye. I happily trotted towards the banner, eager to see one of my saner friends. Unfortunately, as I got closer, I found that the mare running the booth wasn’t my friend, but was instead a mare with a cream colored coat and light blue mane.

“Hello,” she said as I walked closer, “Can I help you?”

“You will have to excuse my shock,” I said as I surveyed her wares, “I didn’t know Equestria had two fashion designers named Rarity, although I suppose it’s not impossible. A pleasure to meet you Miss Rarity.”

“Oh no, I’m not Rarity, I just manage the east coast branch of Boutique Inc, although at the moment, that just means I run a store in Manehattan and show up at some conventions. Does the Rarity you know live in Ponyville?”

I nodded.

“Then we have a Rarity in common, now how can I help you today?”

“Do you have any costumes that resemble this?” I pulled Lyra’s sketch out of my saddlebags and gave it to her.

“Oh yes,” she said as she reached a hoof under the table and pulled out some shirts and pants, “Your design is wonderful, do you and Rarity ever collaborate together?”

I shook my head, “No, in fact, it’s not even my design, a friend came up with it, and I promised them I would dress up with them tomorrow. Frankly, I’m not sure why a serial about humans is so popular.”

Her eyes went wide and there was a sharp intake of breath, apparently that was the exact wrong thing to say. “Well, I can’t speak for everypony else, but the outfit design on the show is absolutely wonderful. That was what first got me into the serial, and then I was pleasantly surprised to find out that it was actually good. The characters are well rounded, the plots are interesting, and…”

I stopped listening as I worked to put together the second costume I needed. I eventually settled on a mask and robe that would be more than capable of obscuring my identity. “Could I purchase these as well?” I asked as I pulled my coin purse out of my saddlebags and tossed it on the counter.

“Uhmm… yeah, sure,” she said as she counted out my bits, “Why do you need two costumes?”

“Obviously, I would need a back-up in case something unfortunate happened to this one. I promise I have nothing duplicitous planned.”

“Okay,” she said as she passed the clothes towards me, “I wasn’t saying you did, I was just curious.”

My mind filled with curses as I chastised myself for reacting so defensively. If I had just stopped speaking after the first sentence, everything would have been fine. Now, Not-Rarity was staring at me warily, and what I had dubbed my “everything is perfectly fine” smile sprang onto my face.

“I’m sorry, that was just a little joke on my part. Anyways, I will be sure to tell Rarity I ran into you when I see her next, Miss…”

“Pommel,” she said, “And don’t worry, I know what it feels like to have a joke go everypony’s head. Have a nice day, and please consider Carousel Boutique for all your clothing needs.”

As I walked away from the booth, a small giggle escaped my lips, “So, you think you can turn my friends against me Miss Homage? Well we’ll just see about that.” After stuffing the other outfit in my bag, I donned the mask and cape and went out to stalk the convention floor.

Several hours later, I sat in the Pens and Futons room, a room apparently named after a short one off gag in the serial and… Why does it sound so much like Ponyville’s Quills and Sofas? My first thought was that it was a simple reference, but Quills and Sofas isn’t a chain store, and Ponyville is far too obscure for that to be plausible. Next, I considered the possibility that it was mere coincidence, but the idea that there can be two stores in two worlds that sell two completely unrelated items strikes me as far more implausible than what I am begrudgingly coming to accept as the truth, that Equestria is itself a fictional world created by humans and that…

“Hey Tavi!”

I look up from my journal to see the pink mare of madness staring at me, before going back to my writing.

“My tail and left hoof started twitching simultaneously while my knees wobbled, which means that somepony is coming dangerously close to breaking the fourth wall. Just thought I would let you know that while leaning on the fourth wall is absolutely hilarious, the audience doesn’t like it when we directly break it.”

“Pinkie, I don’t have time for your insane ramblings right now, I am journaling.”

“Ooh! That must be how you are breaking it. See, we Pies have always had kind of a knack for self-aware commentary, I call it the Pinkie gene, and since you are related to us, then there is a chance that you have it as well. I bet being in Ponyville and writing so much is causing it to express yourself.”

I look back up at her, as my eye twitches, “I’m… your just a figment of my imagination as well, but then if that’s the case that would mean a part of my mind is capable of imitating you perfectly, which would mean that…”

I shake my head. “I’m not crazy. No, this is a trick being played by the part of my mind that is desperately trying to convince me that I am crazy for its own nefarious purposes. Probably conspiring with Homage, which reminds me…”

Several hours of fruitless searching later, I sat in Pens and Futons, first noting the similarities between its name and Ponyville’s Quills and Sofas. Homage was either very good at hiding in a crowd, or she was one of those ponies who preferred not to be up before noon.

“Hey, are you just going to keep ignoring me?” Pinkie says from her mirror, “I am trying to tell you something important.” I ignore her and go back to writing. “Fine, ignore me then. Maybe I won’t tell you about how to properly interact with the fourth wall.” Why in Equestria is some deranged part of my mind talking about the fourth wall? Every wall in my room seems perfectly fine.More questions to ponder later, I suppose.

Back at Pens and Futons, I listened to the most obnoxious bunch of mare-children discuss just how exactly nuclear fission (apparently some sort of human analogue to magic) worked and pondered just how I would track down Homage and stop her plotting.

“Hello there,” a dark green stallion said as he sat next to me, “Do you write too?”

I nodded my head and went back to scanning the room. Perhaps Homage would just show up and I could start properly stalking her.

“Cool… cool, cool, cool. Yeah, I just got the latest update to my story published before I came here, I decided to get a little meta by sending Sarah to Bronycon and seeing just what would happen.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, turning my attention to the stallion, “Do you write for the show? Because if so, I have a friend who would love to meet you.”

He laughed and shook his head, “Oh no, I just write fanfics.”

“Fanfics?” I asked as I continued to scan the room.

“Yeah, they are stories set in the Anthro-verse written by fans. The really good ones get published in fan magazines.”

“Which I assume are magazines that target the older fans of the show?”

The jade stallion gave a quick nod, “Yes, my story updates are published by FiSFiction, and I am hoping America Weekly picks it up soon.”

Just when I was about to get up and leave the crazy pony to his ramblings, Homage walked through the door and took a seat with a group of mares and stallions in the back corner of the room. The good news was that I had found my query, the bad news was that in order to keep an eye on her and not raise suspicion, I would have to continue this conversation.

“So, just to make sure I understand this, you make a living writing stories set in the same ‘verse,’ whatever that means, of the show that aren’t sanctioned by the serial’s creators.”

“Yes… well, no, I don’t make a living off of it, if I did, then the creators could sue. No, it’s just work created by fans for fans.”

“Then…” Remember Octavia, you don’t want to make a scene, “Is your story well received?”

“Oh yes,” he said, nodding, “I’ve gotten dozens of letters from readers who say how funny my story is. It’s a really nice comedy/romance, focusing on two background humans, that I forced to live together due to circumstances. My protagonist is like… a really snobby upper class chick.”

“Uh-huh,” I said, no longer paying attention as Vinyl Scratch walked into the room and headed towards Homage’s group of ponies, “That sounds fascinating.” What the hay? I didn’t expect Vinyl to start conspiring with the enemy.

The group started to talk, and almost immediately Vinyl and Homage were at odds with each other, and I struggled to overhear anything about their conversation.

“Yeah, with this latest update, my story will break 150,000 words, I really hope the readers will…” I shushed him as I tried to overhear anything about the conversation my marefriend and his arch-enemy were having.

Vinyl was gesticulating wildly and pointed a hoof at Homage. Homage was likewise pointing and yelling, and I could make out a few snippets of dialog on her end. The word “psycho” was used with alarming frequency. My roommate responded with more yelling on her part, and I could clearly make out the words “love” and “idiot.”

My heart pounded in my chest. Obviously, the two were fighting, and Homage was accusing me of being a psychopath, and Vinyl was… was she agreeing with Homage? Perhaps declaring her undying love for Homage and calling me an idiot for thinking otherwise? No, that was grossly improbable. Vinyl wouldn’t betray me so easily, would she? Of course not, I told myself. Yes, she did in my dream, but that doesn’t mean anything. Even if I had several dreams where Vinyl and I were in a relationship in the days leading up to our… No, dreams don’t mean anything. Nothing at all.

On the other hoof, I thought, perhaps it wouldn’t hurt if I treated the dream as a warning and worked harder to make sure that its terrible vision never came to pass. That wasn’t insane or paranoid was it? No, I said, reassuring myself, I was just exercising a healthy amount of caution. Nothing wrong with that. And to start with, it would be wise if I figured out a way to make sure Homage and Vinyl never interacted with each other again. My mind conjured a list of ideas, which ranged from covering Homage in petrol and lighting her on fire to framing her for a crime to the comparatively tamer getting Homage kicked out of Anthro Con. After a brief debate, I decided that it would be best to pursue less drastic measures. For now.

“And that’s why I’m really worried about how readers will react to this latest chapter when my main character loses her mind.”

I nodded my head, “I’m sure your readers will love it when you break the mind of a character from a show for colt’s,” I said, nodding my head. “After all, they supported you as you wasted every moment of your free time during the past year writing a silly story about humans. If anypony can approve of your terrible life choices it will be your readers.” Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, as I heard the sound of the pony next to me sobbing. I was about to comfort him and convince him that he wasn’t wasting his life, but Homage was heading out of the room and I couldn’t let her out of my sight. Without saying a word, I got up and moved to stalk my query, careful not to stay too close to her.

Apparently, stalking somepony is spectacularly boring. At least, stalking somepony in Anthro Con is spectacularly boring. All Homage did was walk around, sit in a variety of panels, and take pictures of ponies in costumes (cosplays, whatever). If I didn’t know that she was actively plotting my destruction, I might have thought a normal pony. Thankfully, I knew the truth, and I would not let her deceive me as she plotted to steal Vinyl.

Now Octavia, I told myself as I continued to follow Homage around the convention, she can’t steal Vinyl, Vinyl is her own person and makes her own decisions. The only way Homage could “steal” Vinyl was if Vinyl went along with it. Of course, she could still work to discredit me, drive a wedge between Vinyl and I, and then console my grieving marefriend in her time of need. I muttered something under my breath as I entered into the fourth hour of Homage watching. This hour, she planned on ordering a churro and talking with some friends. I found an empty seat a few tables away, and sat down, cursing my mask for making it impossible for me to eat with it on.

One of Homage’s friends pointed at me and the blue mare trotted over towards my table. “Hey there,” she said cordially, “My friend was just wondering who exactly you were dressed up as. The mask is kind of cool, and I was thinking it was the Pony of the Opera, but that doesn’t really seem like a convention costume.”

“Oh,” I said, trying to think of some way to obscure my voice, “Mah boyfrien’ jus’ dragged me to this ‘ere ‘ootenanny, an’ when she mentioned that y’all liked to dress up, I thought use mah old N-” The words “Nightmare Night” caught in my throat and I cursed myself for not being able to mutter the words. Also, why did I choose such a ridiculous accent? “Old costume.”

I would like to apologize again to the Equestrian language that I had so thoroughly butchered.

“I see,” she said, “Well, is there any chance we could trouble you for a picture?”

Deciding not to do any more harm to the spoken word, I nodded my head in agreement, and Homage and her friends moved around me to pose for a group picture. Apparently, having your photo taken with one group of ponies serves as an invitation to have your photo taken with anypony who happened to have a camera, and soon enough, I was surrounded by ponies who had decided that my mask and cloak were somehow worthy of being photographed. Of course, by the time I managed to escape the crowd, Homage had managed to disappear.

“Curse that treacherous mare,” I mumbled as I finally managed to break free from the last of the photo seekers, “She probably planned this whole thing so she could sneak away. Also, why in Equestria am I talking to myself? It makes me sound like a mad mare or possibly the villain in one of those cheesy serials who seems…” I trailed off as I realized I was still talking to myself. Who seems like they always have to describe every last bit of their master plan once they have the hero bound and helpless. I found myself smiling at the chance to monologue once I had Homage bound and gagged before dropping her in the harbor. Also, why am I so eager to fantasize about killing another pony even though I am the only pony in Equestria who knows exactly how traumatic it is to have your spine ripped from your body? (The answer, for those that are curious, is more than you could possibly imagine.)

With my query having successfully faded into crowd, I decided I might as well look around Anthro-Con and see what the fuss was about. Ten thousand fully grown mares can’t be… well, they can be and most certainly are wrong, but perhaps they aren’t completely wrong. At the very least, touring the convention might help me take my mind off of things and have a laugh at the expense of ponies who had less sanity than myself.

After several more hours of walking around the convention center and laughing at ponies more poorly dressed than myself, the sun began to set, and a large number of ponies started heading towards the second floor of the convention center. Having nothing better to do, I decided to follow them. They led me to a massive room that was quickly filling with ponies and a massive stage packed with speakers at the front of the room. “I take it this is Anthropalooza,” I said to nopony in particular before chastising myself for continuing to think out loud.

Having stored my mask in my saddlebags, I reveled in the feeling of (mostly) fresh air on my face and the ability to see with unobstructed vision. Next time I have to go spying on ponies, I think I will leave the mask at home and instead find some other way of obscuring my identity. Would a pair of glasses be too obvious? Probably. At the very least, I thought as I took a seat towards the back of the room, I should be able to see Vinyl perform without almost getting crushed to death, so that was a small positive. Unfortunately there was also a better than likely chance that I would be seeing Homage on stage as well.

I will try to hurry things up as somepony as Vinyl is currently pounding on the door and yelling at me to open up and I would like to finish this entry before my hastily constructed barricade gives way. Which I suppose brings us back to just what happened at Anthropalooza.

The first two hours of the event were pleasant enough, I suppose. Well, not particularly, the music was unbearably loud, the overuse of synthesizers made my ears start to bleed, the performers were dressed in outfits that would have made Rarity’s most excessive travesties seem subdued, and the names of the performers were outlandish at best (How anything in a graveyard could be considered alive boggles the mind). But on the other hoof, I wasn’t nearly crushed to death, so I suppose that made it tolerably decent. Finally, Vinyl took the stage, and for a few minutes, things were wonderful.

Her booth was on the left side of the stage and the goggles that usually hung around her neck now covered her eyes. The music she played was both overwhelmingly loud and significantly more tolerable than the music that had been played previously, perhaps that is just my bias, but the crowd did seem much more enthused when she was playing compared to some of the other bands, and as far as synthetic-electro-whatever music, hers was by far the best I had heard.

After she had finished her first song, the lights focused on the center of the stage as the master of ceremonies grabbed a microphone, “Alright everypony, we have an unexpected Anthropalooza treat for you all tonight. Because tonight the position of Anthropalooza DJ is being challenged by the one and only MC-H0MI3, so let’s give it up as we have an epic battle of the wubs.”

First of all, I would like to say that the word “wubs” sounds completely idiotic. Second, why does Anthropalooza need an official DJ? Finally, why would Homage choose such an uninspired stage name? Granted, the name DJ-P0N3 might not be a stunning work of creativity, but MC-H0MI3 just sounds like a ripoff of DJ-P0N3.

The crowd cheered at the MC’s announcement as the stage lights focused on my marefriend and my archenemy as the first blast of “wubs” shook the room. My neck snapped up as my vision unfocused. This was it, I thought, as the very foundations of the convention center rocked, this was when Homage would make her move. Vinyl launched the opening salvo at her opponent, and Homage fired back, taking the original song and tweaking it, making it more bombastic and adding to the length of the piece. The two of them took turns altering and adding to the original composition, each one adding to and improving it. Everypony in the audience danced ecstatically as the two of them continued to create music together. A voice in the back of my head whispered that they were one of Equestria’s most beloved creator couples.

No, I had to stop them. Had to stop her from stealing Vinyl away. Without consciously ordering them to, my hooves propelled me towards the stage as I pushed ponies out of my path. I leapt on to the stage and my hoof flew towards Homage’s face. She looked up at me just in time for me to knock her out.

“Ha!” I shouted, gloating over her unconscious form, “Did you really think you could come between Vinyl and I so easily? Did you? You have no idea what I’ve done… What I was willing to go through for her. And you thought I’d just let you waltz in and take her away from me?”

Her eyes snapped open and she floated back to her hooves. Around me, the crowds of ponies murmured excitedly, and Vinyl was conferring with… somepony. My eyes were focused on the mare who just broke several laws of physics and magic. “Silly Octavia,” she said, “Did you really think you could hold on to a mare as lovely as Miss Scratch? Did you think she would see past the festering madness that lurks just under your surface.”

Homage sneered as she lifted a hoof up and grabbed the flesh on her neck, peeling it back to reveal a mare with a grey coat and pink eyes staring back at me.

“Did you really think we could find some sort of happiness here, Tavi? That things would somehow get better for you? Your parents didn’t want you, you were shunned from Canterlot society, and everything you’ve ever done that didn’t involve playing a cello has ended in disaster. We are broken, not fit for the world of ponies, so let’s just go back to our tiny apartment in Canterlot and do the only thing we were ever really good at, play the cello.” Her/my expression softened, “I promise you will feel so much better once you put all these dreams of Vinyl Scratch behind you.”

“No, I… The only problem is you,” I said, trying to process the recent revelation, “I would have been fine if you didn’t try to plot against me.”

She laughed again, “Poor Octavia, you think I’m the problem? The entire universe is arrayed against the very notion of your… of our happiness.” She lovingly ran a forehoof down my neck, “Don’t you remember how much better things were before we came to Ponyville? The way we were free to spend our days practicing the cello and our nights playing for Equestria’s most prestigious orchestra? Are these little friendships worth all the tribulations they bring? I just want us to be happy.”

“Hey Tavi,” Vinyl said, turning our attentions towards her, “I really think you need to come with me to-”

“No!” I half shouted, half snarled, “I can’t see you join the conspiracy, I’ve waged war against the entire world for you. Gone through… No, I can’t.”

Before she could reveal her duplicity and how she was conspiring with me against me, I sprinted off the stage and ran back towards my room in the hotel, ignoring the groups of ponies that tried to stop me on my way there. I slammed the door shut after I ran into my room and pressed the bed against the door, Vinyl would be along shortly to end things, that she couldn’t deal with a mare that was so troubled, and I would do anything to delay that terrible moment. I turned my attention towards my journal and did my best to ignore her knocking and Pinkie Pie’s chattering while I journaled the day’s events.

As I write this, the door shatters open, and Vinyl marches through, her eyes filled with tears. Her horn glows softly as she approaches, “I’m… I’m really sorry Tavi, I hope… I hope you can forgive me for this.

I sigh as the urge to fight leaves my body. What can I do to stop the inevitable? Perhaps things will be better if I listen to the other Octavia and go back to Canterlot. Vinyl wraps her forelegs around me and I wrap my left foreleg around her, leaving my right to journal this last tender moment with her. Her horn presses against my neck and the magical energy she has been storing fills my body. Almost immediately, my mind slows and the world fills with white. Maybe things won’t be so bad.

Vinyl’s Note: So apparently, you continued writing while I applied the anesthesia spell. That’s… you know, I’m not even really surprised at this point. But uhmm… yeah, hope you don’t mind me writing in your journal.

A Very Vinyl Anthrocon

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I love you and all Tavi, but dear sweet Celestia can you be an idiot at times. I mean, I get that you were in the middle of a mental breakdown, that the doctor assures me is treatable, but how in Equestria could you ever think that I’d abandon you for Homage? After all we’ve been through, a small part of me is insulted that you’d even think that. A much greater part of me is concerned about your well-being and wants you to get better. Also, I hope you don’t mind that I am borrowing your journal, I need to collect my thoughts and I thought I’d take a page from your book (haha) and try journaling.

First of all, when you saw me talking with Homage yesterday, we were discussing plans for Anthropalooza, and then we kind of got into a fight about you, with her arguing that you were crazy, and me trying to convince her that you were just having a bad day. Your attempted assault later didn’t really help out with that though. Kind of thankful you didn’t actually punch her in the face and instead just spazzed out the second you reached the stage and started talking to yourself. Also, you are banned from Anthrocon for life. Just thought I’d share that with you, so I guess that kind of worked out for you.

And… just what am I going to do? How did I let things get so bad, I mean, I am looking through your journal (Sorry about that by the way), it’s clear you were having some issues and I didn’t help you. How crappy of that was me? Maybe if I had been more aware, you wouldn’t be locked up in a loony bin having some doctor’s poke at your brain and just pumping magic in you to get you back to normal. Well, but… How do you do it? I’ve written three paragraphs and am already getting incoherent. You write like… short stories about your day and manage to stay pretty coherent, so I guess I will do what you do and write down as much as I can.

So, after we left you at the hotel (Really sorry about that, if I had known what you were going through, I would have done something or just… Why did I think it was a good idea to leave you behind?) Lyra, Bon Bon, and I went to the con, and Lyra pretty much dragged us all to the Museum of Anthropological Artifacts, she thought there was something there relating to this magic mirror she has been coming across in her studies, so she wanted to study every last artifact in detail. Occasionally, Bonnie would manage to pull her away from her viewing so they could go make out in a corner and I took that opportunity to go to the game room and check on you. Obviously, I never saw you, but I thought that was a good thing, like you were sleeping in or doing something productive, not spying on Homage.

Then there was our meeting, but I already covered that mostly. We planned out the show, the line-up, created a set list for our little DJ duel, and got into a fight about you. I really think I was making ground in convincing her to be nice to you, but now its going to be really hard for me to convince her you aren’t crazy. If you are wondering why I am so concerned with the two of you getting along, it is for almost entirely selfish reasons. Whenever I play outside of Ponyville, we usually run into each other, and I thought it would be nice if you and her were on good terms, so things didn’t get awkward if you two ran into each other backstage. It would still be kind of nice, but I really doubt it will happen. She’s also kind of pissed at me for bailing on Anthropalooza to take care of you, because apparently being more concerned about my marefriend than a gig is high heresy to her.

Right, but after that, Lyra, Bonnie, and I sat in on a few more panels and Lyra kind of muttered about how she couldn’t get a closer look at one of the human artifacts, which I guess is kind of important because her desire to get a closer look at that thing led to there being no guards in Anthropalooza when you stormed the stage, so that’s actually probably important.

Actually, that’s a really funny story. Well, funny as something can be, considering the fact that you were in the middle of a mental breakdown. See, Lyra has been convinced that there is some secret portal to the human world for the past few years, and she got it into her head that a tablet the museum held some museum on the portal and she wanted a closer look at it. The guards didn’t really allow it, so she decided to get a closer look at it when everypony was busy at Anthrapalooza. Lyra isn’t very good at doing stealth stuff, and pretty soon all the guards were heading towards the museum just about a minute before you thought it would be a good idea to try and assault Homage.

I… I should have grabbed you when you were on stage, I don’t know why I didn’t, I’m still kicking myself about that, but then, I’ve been replaying the last few days in my head looking for anything I should have done differently. There are a lot. Thankfully, I was smart enough not to go right to you after you ran off and instead went to the Baltimare Hospital’s psychiatric ward. The doctor there, Dr. Ink Blot took a lot of convincing to give me an anesthesia spell, but thankfully I had brought Lyra and Bon Bon to back me up, and he eventually agreed under the condition that several orderlies come with us to observe your condition.

So I guess that kind of fills you in on what was happening while you were going crazy, I hope you will forgive me for knocking you out. The doctor had some questions about if you had been under considerable stress lately or a family history of mental illness. I told him about your last few days but unfortunately, the only thing I knew about your family was that your parents were jerks and that you were distantly related to Pinkie Pie, so I told him that and did you know that the Pie clan apparently has an entire section of the DSM-IV named after them? I didn’t, and that’s kind of fascinating. On the downside, the few Pinkie genes you do have probably helped facilitate your big mental breakdown thing. Well, that and the deaths, and the nightmares, and the stress of having to form an entire orchestra from scratch, and having to actually deal with ponies as opposed to just staying in your room and celloing. Actually, when you put it like that, it shows how tough you are for taking this long to have a mental break down.

I think that covers the main points, and thanks for letting me borrow your journal, I left mine at home and I just really needed to get my thoughts in order. Hopefully, I will have the chance to talk to you before you read this, and if not, then sorry again about looking through your journal. Guess that makes us even though. Love you.

Day 23: The Diary of a Mad Mare

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Well, I would like to start by recanting any comments I made implying that I was the last sane mare in Equestria. As previous journal entries have shown, that is clearly not true. After taking some time to read through previous entries, I was tempted to burn my journal so that I would never have to confront just how mad I had become. My hoof was only stayed when I read through Vinyl’s lovely entry and I decided it would be for the best if I kept the journal as a reminder of just how easily I can fall into madness, and more importantly, how a friend can help me back to sanity.

And since there is a very good chance that Vinyl will read through my journal again, I would like to say “thank you” one more time. You have been a wonderful friend to me, and it is absolute folly for you to think that you are somehow to blame for my previous mental decline. If not for you, I would presumably still be hiding in my hotel room ranting and raving in this very journal. Instead, I now have the opportunity to write a lovely update about my recent and rather remarkable recovery.

After Vinyl rendered me unconscious last night, I spent an unknown amount of time balanced on the border between slumber and wakefulness, reliving the events of the past few days from an outsiders perspective, and watching with a growing since of horror as I saw my increasingly deranged actions negatively impact my friends. Just reading through Vinyl’s journal entry today was heartrending enough, seeing it all in that again through the eyes of a saner mare made my Nightmare Night dreams seem positively timid in comparison. At least then, I was the victim as opposed to the one harming her friends.

Still, I’m here, I’m recovering, and the medicine helps give me enough psychic distance to realize when my thoughts are leading me back towards madness. To paraphrase Doctor Ink Blot, the medication won’t fix all my problems, but it will help me better identify them, and hopefully not act upon them.

Back to the day’s events proper though, when I fully awoke and opened my eyes, I found myself in the lovely white room which is to be my home for the remainder of my stay at the Baltimare Psychiatric Hospital, set to expire tomorrow morning unless it becomes apparent that I need a longer period of treatment. So far, I’ve done nothing too alarming and have contented myself with reading, writing, and speaking with my friends whenever they visit. Also, after some cajoling… No, I am going too far off topic, I need to relate the day’s events properly.

The day properly began with me looking around my room and putting together just what was happening. I was in a white room with padded ceilings and I was strapped to my bed. No great mystery to deduce what happened, I thought. I also noted that I was the only pony in the room, so I would have at least a little time before facing Vinyl and trying to explain my actions. Why in Equestria did I ever think that Homage could come between us? Yes, she had some things in common with Vinyl and they had worked together previously, but to believe that Homage is some sort of diabolical mastermind plotting my downfall is… well, it’s lunacy.

Still, the idea of facing Vinyl and begging for her forgiveness after I had acted so poorly made my pulse quicken, and if not for the medication, I probably would have fallen back into madness in short order. Instead, I took a breath, collected myself, and decided that while I had done quite a few things I regretted, obsessing over them would not drastically improve my situation. Hooray for psychic distance. It keeps a mare sane.

Now that my mind was in order, it was time to focus my energies on getting these bindings undone. “Hello,” I said in the faint hope somepony could hear me, “I am awake and perfectly calm. Would it be possible to remove these restraints?”

My call was ineffective and there were several minutes of waiting before an orderly came in to check on me. He was a red stallion with the image of a strait jacket emblazoned on his flank. A rather unfortunate cutie mark, if I may critique, but beyond that he was perfectly ordinary.

“Ah, hello sir, would it be too much trouble for me to ask you to remove these restraints? I promise I won’t do anything disruptive and I have no intentions of escaping,” I said, giving him my best smile.

He looked me over, “You won’t try to escape will you?”

I shook my head, “Of course not, I realize I am here for a very good reason, and I have to ask, what exactly did you do to make me so coherent.?”

A clipboard floated up next to him and he spouted a nigh incomprehensible stream of medical jargon that I am sad to say I couldn’t quite comprehend. However, I could understand that I had probably taken more drugs in the last twenty-four hours than I had in the last twenty years of my life. “Was I that bad?” I asked when he finished.

“Nah, I’ve seen quite a few worse than you, I mean, there’ve been some real crazy mares and stallions come through these doors. Still, don’t mean your situation isn’t serious. Least you ain’t thrashing about right now.”

I found myself biting my tongue to avoid correcting his atrocious Equestrian. If he was going to let me out of my restraints, I could live with a few double negatives and absolutely abominable contractions. “So will you let me out then?”

“Sure, ya seem harmless enough and as long as you don’t leave your room before the doctor talks with ya I don’t see a problem.” His horn flashed, undoing my bindings, and I relished the ability to move and stretch my legs. “Now remember, ya gotta stay in your room til the doctor’s arrive, then maybe you can move about the ward if they say so. I’ll go and let ‘em know you’re up.”

I nodded my head at him as I got back on my hooves, “I see no issue with that, is there anything I can do while I wait?”

“The girl who had you committed brought a few books and stuff by this morning, we put them on the desk.” As he spoke, my eyes scanned the pile of books and I found my journal sitting at the top.”

“This will be fine, thank you,” I said, stepping over towards the desk. The orderly gave a curt nod and walked out of the room as I picked up my journal and flipped through it, driven by a morbid desire to see exactly how far I had fallen. The results were a combination of enlightening and horrifying, mostly horrifying though.

I believe I have written at length about my reaction to reading through my journal earlier, but I have to reiterate how surreal it was to read my own words, recognizing that I had indeed written them on the page, yet not knowing what in Equestria I was thinking when I penned them. Very quickly, I found myself engrossed reading through my journal entries and trying to decipher just why my mind had shattered so spectacularly. I didn’t notice when the doctor walked into the room until he tapped me on the shoulder.

“Yes?” I said, shooting up on my hooves as I suddenly became aware of his presence. He was a white unicorn with a black blot of something on his flank obscuring his cutie mark. Or it was his cutie mark.

“Good morning to you too Miss Melody, I take it you are feeling better today.” He said before taking a seat next to my desk.

“I am feeling saner, although I wouldn’t say I am feeling better now that I am aware enough to realize how much my erratic behavior must have worried my friends.”

He frowned and shook his head. “It’s recriminations like that that lead to your erratic behavior in the first place. Your friends clearly care for you a great deal and Miss Scratch has come in to check on you every couple of hours. She’ll be by to talk with you soon.”

“Wonderful,” I said, before my focus turned towards the journal and I thought of how wonderful it would be to burn the wretched thing and try to put my madness behind me, “If you will excuse me, I will get back to my reading.”

“In a minute,” he said, “First I would like to ask you a few questions and go over the results of the tests we ran last night.”

“Of course,” I said, pushing the journal away from me, “How silly of me to forget.” So now it was time for the big list of all my imperfections and failings. I baited my breath in anticipation.

“First, I would like to ask a few questions, Miss Scratch answered most of them for us last night, but I would like to confirm a few things with you. Is it true that you are related to one Pinkamina Diane Pie?”

“Distantly, why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s just that the Pie family is rather notorious in psychological circles and have more than quadruple the amount of mental illness in their family than average. Actually, thanks to studying them, we’ve found a series of alleles that can accurately predict the likelihood of mental illness in an individual. Most psychologist’s inaccurately refer to it as the Pie gene, although of course it is a series of genes and…”

I stared at him. “Please speak as if you are addressing a pony who was denied the benefit of higher education.”

“Really?” He asked, looking down at his file, “Sorry, with your career history supplied by Miss Scratch and the letter we received from Princess Luna asking us to take good care of you I suppose I just assumed you went to the Academy as well.”

“You mean the Academy for Gifted Unicorns?” I asked.

“Of course,” he said, “I don’t know of any other schools for…” He trailed off as understanding slowly dawned and he shuffled his papers uncomfortably.

“Anyways, we ran a full MScan on you, and aside from the presence of the Pie gene and what appears to be a case of carpal tunnel in your right hoof, you are a perfectly healthy mare.”

“What?” I asked, my mind scrambling to make sense of his last line.

“The carpal tunnel in your right hoof… I spoke with your roommate about it and she mentioned something about you having ‘hoof-hands’ so I am your other doctors informed you of the condition.”

I struggled to recall the exact term the doctors had used to diagnose my extra-malleable forehooves, but the term escaped me. All I knew was that it was most definitely not called carpal tunnel, and more to the point, I couldn’t understand why the scan said it was only in my right forehoof. “I know that there is a bone defect in my forehooves causing them to be more malleable than average, so I don’t know why-”

“No, not ungula lentesca, that was also revealed in the scans but…” I couldn’t hear him as the pounding of my heart drowned him out. Was this why my right hoof had been so sore the past few days?

“You see,” the doctor continued, “The unique nature of your hooves combined with the accelerated nature of earth pony healing can lead to the bones in your forehooves grinding against each other as they try to mend themselves. The problem would be exacerbated if you have a history of activities that require extreme forehoof dexterity.”

“Would you say that writing in a journal or playing a cello are activities that I should avoid then?”

He laughed, “Absolutely, those are probably the two worst things an earth pony with ungula lentesca can do, I mean…” His eyes flicked down to my file and then back at my journal. “That would explain why you developed carpal tunnel at such a young age.”

“Yes it would,” I said, staring at him, “And while I am all for treating my condition, I have no plans to abandon either activity. Playing the cello and writing in my journal are two of my greatest pleasures in the world.”

“Well…” He trailed off, staring at his files, “I would recommend you make an appointment with a doctor who specializes in this sort of thing when you get back home. We really should get back to the details of your episode.”

I smiled at him, masking my frustration, “Of course, I apologize for derailing the conversation, the news just took me by surprise.” And he gave me more bad news, because that was the one thing I hadn’t had enough of lately. I swear, it seems like every day the world comes up with some fresh new way to torment me. Not to say that I actually believe Equestria is conspiring against me, as the last few days have demonstrated, such thinking leads to unpleasantness on my part.

“Like I said Miss Melody, the MScan revealed that you are indeed in possession of the Pie gene, which means that, unmedicated, you will trend towards extreme paranoia and mania. One minute you could feel positively on top of the world and the next minute believe that everypony you know is conspiring against you. Thankfully, modern medicine has come a long way in the past century and with proper treatment we should be able to prevent the most severe expressions of the Pie alleles.”

“Is that all?” I asked as I glanced back towards my journal, “Any other pronouncements of doom? Maybe you can tell me that I only have twenty-four hours left to live, or that this is all some mad man’s dream, or that-” I bit my tongue as I realized this might be what he was referring to when he mentioned ‘extreme paranoia and mania.’ “You’ll have to excuse me, this is rather a lot for me to take in.”

“It’s all right,” he said, nodding his head, “You are doing much better than you were when you came in here. I will tell Miss Scratch you are awake when she stops in next time. And don’t worry Miss Melody, all of your conditions are perfectly treatable.”

“Thank you,” I said as he walked out of the room and my attention turned back to the journal. “And, thank you Miss Pie for insuring a lifetime of mental illness. Also, I suppose talking to myself isn’t the type of behavior I should be promoting.” I laughed, “At least this time I’m not responding, or… oh dear.”

I shook my head and went back to reading through my journal, finally reading through Vinyl’s entry. Her style was lacking, large sections of the day passed without comment, the narrative jumped from place to place, and there was nary a single line of dialog to be found. Still, it was heartfelt and after reading it, my resolve to destroy the journal vanished. Just as I was putting the journal back on my desk, I heard the door to my room open, and a pair of forelegs wrapped around my neck.

“You’re awake! And looking okay! You like styled your mane and everything.” Vinyll tilted her head around and looked at me. “And no more crazy eyes. How are you feeling?”

“Much better, thanks to you,” I said, leaning my head back and resting it against Vinyl’s chest. “I apologize for my actions yesterday and wanted to thank you for still managing to tolerate me. I hope you don’t mind that I read through your journal entry.”

“Well, I mean, I wrote it in your journal AND I kind of read through a few of your journal entries as well, so… not much to apologize for. In fact, I kind of expected you to read it. Kind of why it sounds like I am speaking with you in it.”

“So, I suppose we need to talk then?”

“About what?” Vinyl asked after kissing my neck, “I mean, you have some issues, you’ve been under a lot of stress lately, you’re apparently predisposed to mental illness, and… I mean, yeah, there is no way I am going to be upset with you about this, just… the next time you start going through all this crazy stuff please don’t leave me in the dark.”

“Then, thank you for being so understanding. I feel just awful about everythi-”

Vinyl cut me off by swatting at me, “Stop it. You were ill. You wouldn’t apologize for having the flu and vomiting, would you?”

“Of course I would,” I said, my back stiffening. “If I inconvenience somepony I care about, I feel the need to apologize. It’s just propriety.”

“Uh… wow, well, let’s stick a pin in that and revisit your crazy sense of propriety later, for now I am just glad you are feeling better. Have they been treating you all right?”

“Everything has been fine. Actually, things here are quite relaxing. Since I have woken up there have been absolutely zero improbable twists of fate, and for the first time in a week I don’t feel like the universe is plotting against me. Of course, that could be because of the medication. Anyways, I am perfectly fine spending a bit more time here.” As I spoke, I savored my marefriend’s particular aroma. She still had the faint smell of sweat from Anthropalooza about her as well as a particular indescribable smell that was uniquely hers.

“That’s great, because the doctor wants you to stay here another day for observation to make sure the medications are working, although that would mean that you would miss the rest of Anthro-Con. Not that you could actually attend it anyways.”

I smiled, “You know Vinyl, I believe I can live with that, although… could I make a small request?”

“Sure! Want me to bring you some Anthro-Con memorabilia? Also, Bon Bon won’t be popping the question ‘til the cruise because she wants all of Lyra’s friends to be there to celebrate. Also also, Lyra is kind of inconsolable about being kicked out of Anthro-Con for trying to rob one of the exhibits.”

“Right, for attempting to rob one of the exhibits in the Anthropology Museum? You touched on it in your journal.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t try to rob them, she just wanted a closer examination of one of the exhibits and it’s not like the lifetime ban you received, she is just banned from the rest of this year’s Anthro-Con.” Vinyl sat down next to me and rested her head on my shoulder, “We can’t take you anywhere without crazy stuff happening can we?”

“That… Lyra breaking into a travelling museum is hardly my fault, and I don’t think it’s fair that I get a lifetime ban for getting up on stage while Lyra gets a slap on the hoof for attempted breaking and entering.”

“True, but I mean, she is a big name in the anthropology community, like… if they banned one of the most active members of the anthropology community, there would be a lot of upset ponies. Meanwhile, nopony really knows who you are.”

“I am a respected cellist who was hoofpicked by the princesses and… You meant at Anthro-Con didn’t you?”

Vinyl nodded. “Yeah, sorry, some bad word choice there. Anyways, you mentioned a favor?”

A part of me still wanted to fume at the fact that I received a harsher punishment for a lesser crime. Another, much larger, part of me was just glad that I would never have to deal with Anthro-Con again. “Yes, I would appreciate it if you could bring my cello, my back hasn’t troubled me in days and I would love to be able to get a bit of practice in.”

“Sure thing,” Vinyl said, getting up and heading towards the door, “I kind of wasn’t expecting you to be up this early, so I made plans for a brunch with Lyra and Bon Bon, but after that I will bring you your cello. Is there anything else you want?”

As she spoke I realized I had no idea what time it was, but more importantly I realized that I had completely forgotten about my obligation with Lyra. “The costume! I haven’t worn it yet and I promised Lyra I would.”

“I’m sure Lyra will understand, Tavi, don’t worry about it.”

“It’s not that, it’s that we made such a big deal about this thing and now nothing is going to come of it, it feels wrong,” I said, trying to pinpoint just why the idea of the costume not amounting to anything made me so uneasy. For some reason, the idea that there might be details in my life that didn’t lead to anything important was causing a minor anxiety attack.

Vinyl walked over to me as the hyperventilating started and hugged me until I was able to calm myself somewhat. “Tavi, it doesn’t matter. Sometimes there will be things that don’t go anywhere and maybe this thing with the costumes will play a big role later on, but I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“The details Vinyl, when I was reading through my journal earlier I was noticing all these little details that seemed innocuous enough on their own, but when taken in whole might lead somepony to believe that they were placed there for a reason. Now there is absolutely no payoff whatsoever.”

I quieted as Vinyl ran her hoof through my mane reassuringly, “It’s fine, listen, the doctor told you about the Pinkie gene, right?”

I nodded.

“Well, ponies who have it are apparently way more likely to believe that the real life is determined by fictional narrative tropes, and while I don’t completely understand what that me, I think this is what they are talking about.”

“Probably,” I said after I managed to recollect myself. “Still, the fact that all this foreshadowing will lead to nothing doesn’t strike you as worrisome?”

Vinyl pulled her head back and frowned, “Tavi, I didn’t even think there was any foreshadowing to begin with. Things just happen, you know?”

“I suppose, anyways… thank you for helping me the past few weeks, I promise I will make it up to you somehow.”

She rolled her eyes and kissed me on the cheek, “We’ve been over this, you don’t need to make it up to me, it’s enough to know that you will be there to help me out when I have trouble. I mean, you were totally badass when you beat that metal bull up on Nightmare Night. You totally saved my life.”

There was a brief pause as Vinyl realized just what she said and I could see her mentally preparing for my breakdown. Thankfully, due to modern medicine, I managed to keep my composure and instead focus on the compliment. “It wasn’t that noteworthy, I just did what anypony would do. Also, please don’t use the word badass in the future, it is an insult to donkeys.”

“Tavi, you punched iron until it shattered, nopony else did that, and I don’t even think most ponies COULD do that,” she said, laughing. “Also, badass just means really cool, nopony but the most uptight snobs see it as an insul-”

I raised my eyebrow and Vinyl abruptly ended her sentence. “Never mind, it’s… you aren’t a snob-”

I interrupted her again, this time by planting a kiss on her lips. “Vinyl, I know I can be a bit tightly wound, my presence here is testament to that fact, and that most ponies don’t see that word as an insult anymore. I guess I am just a bit sensitive when it comes to any perceived racial discrimination.”

She smiled and returned the kiss, “It’s fine, anyways, I have to get to this brunch, will you be fine on your own?”

“Of course, have fun with Lyra and Bon Bon, and feel free to bring them to visit later.”

“Will do,” Vinyl said as she walked out of the door. After she left, I went back to flipping through my journal and reading through the development of our relationship. Have I mentioned just how much I love her? Even if she did accidentally shatter my ear drums that one time.

The next few hours were slow, boring, uneventful, and absolutely wonderful. Nothing crazy happened and I was free to do whatever I wanted. After I finished reading the journal, I flipped through some of the other books Vinyl brought me, all property of the Baltimare library. Very funny, I thought, recalling our earlier argument in the hotel lobby. They were almost entirely romance novels, but I quickly found myself being engrossed in the first book on the stack. I can’t tell Vinyl I enjoyed it of course, but the book was rather fun and fanciful. and helped make up for Vinyl’s absence.

A sharp knock on the door pulled me from my story and I quickly threw the book back on the desk for fear of Vinyl and Co catching me reading 50 Shades of Hay a perfectly respectable romance novel that has won whatever award you give such things.

“Come in!” I said after I made sure the book was at least somewhat obscured. The door opened and Vinyl, Lyra, and Bon Bon walked in with Vinyl carrying my cello on her back.

“Gotta say Tavi, I don’t know how you carry this thing without magic. I thought I would try it out and I feel like my back is about to break.”

“Well, you haven’t been carrying it with you for the past ten years, so it is to be expected,” I said as I moved to unstrap my cello from her back. She had clearly used her magic to strap the cello on to her back and it showed in the neat way the straps and buckles had been fastened. In contrast, my fastenings were usually quite sloppy, trading appearance for ease of access, and I found myself struggling to undo them.

“Hey Tavi, I love all the touching, but could you maybe stop feeling me up in front of Lyra and Bon Bon?”

Blood rushed to my face as I quickly withdrew my hooves, “I wasn’t go- I was just trying to undo the straps so I could pick up my cello.”

“Really?” She said as she used her magic to undo the straps of my cello case, “Then maybe I should carry this around more often.”

“Very funny,” I said, grabbing my cello case as Vinyl undid the last fastening, and as soon as I made sure my cello was safely on the ground I ran over and hugged Lyra and Bon Bon. “I am so sorry for my rash actions, can you please forgive me.”

“Yeah, of course Tavi,” Lyra said, “I mean, I think we all went a bit crazy during Anthro-Con, or at least I did… and you of course, but what I’m trying to say is that it’s water under the bridge. Also, your big crazy outburst got the whole con upset with you so my little breaking and entering was almost completely forgotten about.” Before I could react, her forehooves were wrapped around my neck, cutting off my airflow, “Thanks for ensuring I can go back next year. We should totally play together once we get back to Ponyville.”

“That sounds lovely,” I said after I extracted myself from her surprisingly strong grip. “I… didn’t we already make plans for a concert?”

“Oh yeah,” Lyra said, nodding her head, “I just wanted to confirm it.”

“Are you feeling better?” Bon Bon asked, “You look okay.”

“Yeah,” Lyra said, jumping up and down happily, “You should have seen her yesterday, she looked all crazy with wild hairs and crazy eyes.”

“Thank you, Lyra,” I said, glaring at her, “Yes, Bon Bon, I am feeling much better today, probably thanks to-”

I was interrupted by a knocking on the door as a nurse walked in with two cups floating next to her. “Good afternoon, Octavia. I hate to interrupt, but it is time for you to take your medicine.” She levitated the first cup down and I saw that it was filled with a variety of multi-colored pills.

“So, how many of these am I supposed to take?” I asked, looking at them, there had to be at least ten pills in the cup.

“All of them. You need to take these every twelve hours, and it’s very important that you don’t forget them,” she said as she brought the second cup, filled with water, on my desk. “If you need a drink to wash them down.”

I started swallowing the pills one at a time, downing them before any of the coating could dissolve and leave an awful taste in my mouth. After the last pill was swallowed, I drank the entire cup of water in the span of a few seconds.

“Wow, that’s a lot of pills,” Vinyl said, “Like, I think I’ve been to raves with fewer pills there.” The nurse shot her a look of contempt and disdain while I managed to ignore her comment.

“Thank you for your time,” I said turning back to the nurse, “Could I please have some time to speak with my friends?”

“Certainly,” the nurse said, nodding her head, “I will be back later tonight.”

After she left, the conversation resumed. “Yeah, so…” Vinyl paused, rubbing the back of her head, “I didn’t know they had you on so many meds.”

I smiled at her, “Neither did I. But they are certainly working, so I don’t think I will complain too much. Still, it would be nice if I didn’t have to to consume the contents of an entire pharmacy every twelve hours.”

She laughed at that, and my conversation with my friends resumed in earnest. For the sake of my forehoof, I will abridge things and just say that we spoke of a myriad of inconsequential topics while I ate a meal that the orderly delivered. Like I said earlier, spending time in a mental institution has made for a lovely vacation so far, and a few hours later, visiting hours had concluded and my friends went off back to their hotel. If I had known being institutionalized was this relaxing, I would have checked myself in shortly after arriving in Ponyville.

With my friends headed back for the day, I took the opportunity to practice my cello for the first time in a week. Oh Philharmonica, how I’ve missed you. the few weeks I was unable to play you due to my broken back were absolutely hellish, and I promise I will never neglect you again… Also, is writing to an inanimate object considered insane? Probably, but Philharmonica is so much more than a cello, she is a symbol of all the best things that have happened to me in Ponyville and when I was playing her I felt as if my time in the accursed town wasn’t that terrible.

The rest of the day passed with me alternating between reading, eating, and practicing my cello. At several times, I looked up from my practicing to find a passing orderly listening to my music. Finally, Doctor Ink Blot came in and informed me that assuming the night passed without incident, he would have no problem releasing me into Vinyl’s custody tomorrow. ~~Who knows, perhaps this vacation will be relaxing after all?~~

Why would I write that when I know I will be meeting my parents in less than forty-eight hours? I must be crazier than I thought.

Days 24 and 25: Family Reunion

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I have the urge to quickly gloss over yesterday’s events and instead focus on the meeting with my parents, partly because today’s events were substantially more notable and partly because Vinyl is trying to get me to write less due to my recent diagnosis of carpal tunnel syndrome, but there were still some important incidents that happened yesterday such as my getting released from the psychiatric ward, and of course, the train ride to Manehattan. The day started with me playing my cello for an hour and enjoying my breakfast while waiting for the doctor to visit.

Outside of my room, ponies went about their days, spoke with each other, and very occasionally yelled at each other over trivialities as nurses went about checking on their patients and giving them their morning medications. I was almost tempted to get out of my room and socialize but decided against it as I saw no value in interacting with other mentally ill ponies. Certainly it would be better if they kept us all separate so our various madnesses didn’t play off each other in new and exciting ways.

Eventually, my music and musings were interrupted by Doctor Blot as he came to check up on me, “Good morning Octavia, how are you doing today?”

“Besides being confined to a mental ward, I am lovely,” I said as I carefully moved to put my cello back in its case.

“Well,” he said, chuckling, “That shouldn’t be a problem much longer, I just have a few questions for you before you go. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” I said, smiling.

Unfortunately it turned out that when he said he had a few questions for me, he actually meant that he had prepared the most exhausting and inane battery of questions that Equestria had ever seen. Had I ever thought of harming myself? No, I usually just think of harming ponies that annoy me. Had I ever acted on my impulses to harm another pony? Yes, if Discord counts as a pony. Really? Yes. Do you think there is a conspiracy against you? And so on and so on. I have decided to omit a vast majority of the questionnaire as I found it tedious to listen to and have no doubt that writing it down in its entirety would be even more tedious. The sample I provided should give any reader, presumably Vinyl, the gist of the experience while saving me at least an hour of writing time.

As we reached the end of the interrogation, Vinyl knocked on the door before walking in. “Hey doc, how’s it going.”

“We are fine,” he said, turning to face my marefriend, “Just wrapping up the outprocessing process. I only have one question left and it is directed towards you Miss Scratch.”

“Sure, doc, shoot,” she said as she sat next to me.

“Well, during my time with Miss Melody, she alluded to several incidents where she interacted with Discord and expressed the belief that he was plotting against her. Have you dealt with these delusions before?”

“Oh no,” Vinyl said, before hastily adding, “They aren’t delusions. I totally saw her try to take on Discord during Nightmare Night. Like, she has an actual feud with the god of chaos and entropy, how crazy is that?”

He made a quick note in his files before turning back to Vinyl. “Can you substantiate these claims in some way? You will forgive me if I am somewhat incredulous.”

“Well, you could always just write a letter to Princess Luna, I mean, she was there for the whole ordeal.”

“Of course,” he said, mumbling something under his breath, “ Now, did you read the papers I gave you regarding your responsibilities towards Miss Octavia once I release her into your custody.”

She nodded, “I will keep her in sight at all times, or failing that, I will make sure I can hear her. I will also make sure she takes her pills when she needs to.”

“And if she has a relapse you will take her to the nearest psychiatric hospital, correct?”

“Yeah, I mean, I brought her here the first time, didn’t I?”

“Alright,” he said, pulling a paper out of his files, “Then just sign here and Miss Melody will be released into your custody.”

Vinyl wrapped her magic around the pen he provided and quickly signed the sheet. “Alright, so she can go now?”

He nodded.

“Cool, come on Musicbutt.”

I groaned as I got to my hooves, “I thought you were done with that terrible nickname.”

“Nah,” she said as she wrapped my belongings up in her telekinetic field. “Just thought I would give you a little break. Didn’t want to drive you crazy with it,” she laughed, “Besides, you saw me sign the doctor’s paper. I technically own you now, so I can call you whatever I want, therefore Musicbutt is your new name.”

I briefly considered staying in the hospital, before deciding that Vinyl at her most insufferable was still far more tolerable than spending another day in the hospital. ~~Besides, after the last two nights, I found myself looking forward to an evening spent with my marefri~~

After leaving the hospital, we headed towards the train situation and Vinyl assured me that Lyra and Bon Bon would meet us there with the rest of our stuff. For my part, I was just happy to be outside in the fresh air and feel the weight of my cello on my back. “So, are you looking forward to going to Manehattan?” Vinyl asked.

“Not particularly,” I said as we drew closer to the train station, “The city is full of poseurs with notions of grandeur who believe that by virtue of wealth they are superior to everypony else.”

“Really?” She asked, raising an eyebrow, “Sounds like you should love it.”

It was my turn to scoff, “While I do believe in the virtues of sophistication and refinement, I don’t believe that they naturally come with wealth. Take Rarity for instance, she presumably has no outstanding lineage to speak of, and if she came into a great fortune, I believe she would give it away in a matter of days, but in my experience, she always handles herself with decorum, grace, and poise. That is what I admire, wealth is completely irrelevant.”

“Huh,” Vinyl said, nodding, “Guess that kind of makes sense. Is that why you left in the first place?”

I nodded, “That and the fact that my parents had exiled me from our home. I suppose the latter might have played a larger role than the former.”

“Oh, right,” she said, hastily looking at her feet as her cheeks took on a reddish tinge. “I… sorry, I guess I sort of forgot for a second. Are you sure you are okay with seeing them tomorrow? I mean, if you don’t want to we can totally do the tourist thing with Lyra and Bon Bon.”

I shook my head, “As much as I would love to play tour guide, I think it is time I tried to patch things up with my parents,” I shrugged, “Besides, if things go poorly then there will be plenty of time for us to see the sights.”

“Alright,” she said as we walked up to the station platform, “Just remember that whatever you decide to do, I will be right there next to you. Because I care… and also it was one of the conditions of your release from the psych ward, but mostly because I care.”

“Thank you,” I said before quickly kissing her cheek, “And thank you for both getting me to the mental hospital and getting me out of it.”

“It’s what I do,” she said, smiling, “Besides, you risked your life to help me, I figure I can at least try to keep you sort of sane.”

I was about to say something else when I saw Lyra and Bon-Bon standing at the other end of the platform, with Lyra waving at us excitedly AND jumping up and down. No, I don’t know how she managed to do that and I would prefer not to think on it. That way, madness lies.

“Hey,” Vinyl said, approaching the two, “Didn’t think you would be packed so soon, I figured we would be waiting here for at least half an hour before you all got here.”

Bon-Bon shrugged, “Not really, I didn’t feel like going to the Anthro-con closing ceremonies today and Lyra couldn’t, so we just thought we would head to the train station early and wait for you to get there.”

“Besides,” Lyra said, “I am looking forward to reading and translating the inscription I copied at Anthro-Con, I have my Human to Equestrian translations all packed and I am ready to do some studying.”

I decided not to comment. At this point, it’s just getting repetitive, and any moderately intelligent reader could infer what I was thinking. After a few more minutes of small talk, the train pulled up to the station and we all boarded for Manehattan. A few minutes later, a jolt ran through the locomotive as we slowly started moving towards our destination and my inevitable meeting with my parents. With that one jolt, I suddenly felt as if my heart were pressed in a vice and I had lost all ability to breathe. Based on the way Vinyl wrapped her hooves around me and brought my head to her chest, my distress was written plainly on my face.

Normally, I would have protested against such public displays of tenderness, but given the fact that I currently felt as if I was about to be consumed by a great abyss and Vinyl’s reassurance was the only thing keeping me somewhat collected, I decided not to. Besides, Lyra and Bon-Bon are close enough friends that the display wouldn’t be that disturbing. Right? Maybe not, I will have to ask them about it on our cruise tomorrow. But then, if they do find it objectionable, how can I sensitively bring up the subject? Stop it. This will be fine, don’t make yourself crazy worrying about nothing.

Thankfully, Vinyl’s non-verbal reassurances managed to calm me somewhat, and after I had regained my composure, the four of us spent the rest of the train ride talking about the generalities of life, which I feel no desire to transcribe now. However, what struck me as interesting was the great effort we made to avoid mentioning Nightmare Night, Anthro-Con (For Lyra’s sake, although the mare was so engrossed in her note taking I doubt she would have cared), and my most recent stint in the hospital, bringing my grand total of hospitalizations in the last month up to four.

As the sun sank lower into the sky, the train pulled into Manehattan’s Grand Central Station, and the four of us gathered our things and disembarked. The rush of emotions I experienced when I stepped hoof on my native soil, were… well, I am tempted to say they were indescribable, but that would be cheating. If one were to boil down emotional states into their purest forms, then taking two parts elation, one part dread, and one part sheer soul-crushing terror and mixing them would make for the most accurate descriptor I could think of. Thankfully, I managed to avoid having another one of my episodes by focusing on preparing my friends on what they could expect in Manehattan.

“Now girls,” I said at the station while struggling to properly strap on my cello case, “Please keep in mind that Manehattan is in no way similar to Ponyville.” For instance, I thought, the ponies here actually have a degree of sophistication and proper breeding. Not as much as Canterlot, but still more than Ponyville. “Ponies here aren’t friendly, they don’t care about you, and if you get in their way, they will run you over in a heartbeat.”

“Here, you look like you are having trouble with that,” a passing unicorn stallion said, adjusting my case with his magic, “I would hate to have some guests of our fine city get the wrong impression.”

“I… uhmm… thank you,” I stammered as my friends worked to suppress their laughter.

“Yeah Tavi, these ponies definitely seem like they would run me over in a heartbeat. Gotta watch out for ponies in the big scary city,” Vinyl said.

The stallion just laughed, “No, your friend would have been right a few months ago. Ponies here WERE pretty selfish, but then for some reason, a few ponies started being generous and helping others out, and the effect snowballed pretty quickly. Now most of us try to help those in need when we can, and quite frankly, I think the change is just great.”

“Well, thank you for the exposition,” I said as Vinyl tossed him a few bits for his trouble. “Now then, I think we should be heading to our hotel rooms, we both have a lot planned for tomorrow and it is important to be well rested.”

“Uhmm, Tavi,” Vinyl said as Lyra and Bon-Bon whispered amongst themselves. “It’s still daylight out, shouldn’t we have dinner first or something?”

I looked up and noticed that, yes, the sun was still in the sky. “Hmm, so it is. Well, I know the loveliest little bistro down on third street, shall we?”

“Sure,” the three said in unison as they followed me off into the metropolis in search of a bistro.

It was closed. In it’s place was a restaurant with a picture of a smiling griffon and the word “Culinaire’s” printed on the sign.

“Ooh,” Bon-Bon said, “I always wanted to eat at a Culinaire’s.”

“Don’t bother,” I said, “The food is substandard and overpriced, and the place only stays in business by marketing itself as a Manehattan institution to gullible tourists. No offense.”

The three of them grumbled, but I was not to be deterred, we were going to eat at an actual Manehattan institution and not some chintzy tourist trap. In fact, I had just the place in mind.

It had been replaced by a Culinaire’s too. Celestia bucking dammit. “Come on Tavi, the place can’t be that bad, I mean, if it could replace the Palamino, it is probably pretty good, right?” Vinyl said, trying to calm me.

The very idea that the Palamino’s delectable tofu steaks had been replaced by… whatever it is the Culinaire served made me want to cry. “No, I will not at eat a Culinaire’s even if it is the last restaurant in Equestria. I’d rather eat at Fat Mike’s Pizzeria than a Culinaire’s. At least his pizzas are an actual Manehattan institution, now come on.

My friends groaned, “But we’ve been carrying our luggage around for hours and it’s dark out, can we please just eat here,” Bon-Bon said.

“Listen,” I said, “Fat Mike’s is just a block away, let’s eat there and if for some reason it closed, we will eat at whatever restaurant took it’s place, okay?” The other three nodded and I smiled to myself. There was absolutely no chance that it too had been replaced by a Culinaire’s.”

Fat Mike’s Pizzeria wasn’t replaced by a Culinaire’s, it was replaced by a Benny’s, also known as the worst diner in Equestria. The dinner the four of us had at that Celestia forsaken place was possible the most depressing meal I had ever had. Partly because their “food” can best be described as a gross facsimile of modern cuisine, with even their “best” items tasting sad, wrong, and empty, and partly because nopony wanted to eat there. Any good mood the four of us had had completely dissolved after our first few bites of food, and the meal passed with the four of us struggling to stomach our meals. Except for Vinyl, she apparently loved her cheese fries, while my food just tasted like cold grease.

After the meal, we carried our luggage towards the hotel in silence until I could stand it no longer, “Listen, Bon-Bon, I’m sorry I didn’t let you eat at Culinaire’s, I just wanted to show my friends a side of Manehattan tourists don’t normally see. Unfortunately, it seems the city has changed more than I realized in the past decade.”

“It’s fine,” she said after a moment’s pause, “Yes, I wanted to eat at Culinaire’s, and I don’t think anypony liked their meal at Benny’s-”

“I did,” Vinyl interjected cheerily.

“I don’t think anypony with a palette more sophisticated than a foal’s liked their meal at Benny’s,” Bon-Bon corrected.

“Hey,” Vinyl said, trying to think up a retort before I kissed the spot on her neck that I found was particularly effective at interrupting her train of thought and relaxing her.

“Vinyl, I love you, but your taste in food is absolutely abysmal. When I moved in there wasn’t a single food product that wasn’t prepackaged and ready for immediate consumption, and do I need to go over the hay frites incident again?”

“Alright,” she said, “But I mean, the food at Benny’s wasn’t that bad was it?”

“It was,” the three of us said in unison. Vinyl shot Lyra a look of utter betrayal.

Lyra, for her part, shrugged it off, “Sorry Vinyl, I live with a confectioner who loves to cook, which means I get to eat a lot of awesome food. After a few years of that you kind of start to differentiate between good food and bad.”

Bon-Bon smiled at Lyra’s praise before trying to get the conversation back on track, “Anyways, since we can all agree that Benny’s is terrible and Vinyl couldn’t differentiate between a good meal and bad meal to save her life, I wasn’t upset that you wanted to show us one of your favorite Manehattan restaurants, I was upset that you kept us out until ten at night looking for some place to eat,” she said as we walked into the hotel lobby, “Now then, if you don’t mind, I would like to get some sleep tonight, so I will see you all later.”

The four of us quickly checked into our hotel rooms, and went our separate ways, with Vinyl and I heading into our suite, organizing the room properly (Well, I organized, she just dropped most of our luggage on the floor the second we stepped inside), and heading to bed to… converse for a time before going to sleep.

Now that yesterday has been dealt with, I can move on to talking about today’s far more eventful activities. The day began with another one of my screaming sessions after an atrocious nightmare while Vinyl dutifully prepared my morning pills. I am pleased to say that in less than half an hour, I was back to feeling like my regular self and going about my morning routine.

“You ready for today?” Vinyl asked as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped her forelegs around my barrel. For a brief moment, the idea of her walking out of the shower naked struck me as scandalous until I remembered that we were naked all the time. The pony mind is a strange and confusing thing especially when it comes to issues of modesty.

I nodded after a few seconds of deliberation, “As I will ever be, I suppose. I have to do it some time or another, and I might as well get it out of the way now.”

“You don’t have to,” she said after kissing my neck, “We could stay in here all day and…” For modesty’s sake, I will leave the rest of her suggestion to the imaginations of some theoretical future reader.

“As lovely as that sounds, I would like to remind you that we will be on Equestria’s largest dirigible for an entire week starting tomorrow,” I wiggled my way out of her grasp and kissed her, “There will be time for all of that later, and that way I won’t be distracted by possible future dealings with my parents.”

“Alright,” she said as she toweled herself off, “Just remember I will be right beside you the whole time. I mean, I would have to be crazy to miss the chance to see where the great Octavia grew up.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at that, “Keep in mind it’s not that notable.”

Two hours later, we were outside my familial estate and Vinyl’s jaw was lodged firmly on the sidewalk. “So, just to get this straight,” she said, “Your ideas of not that notable is a freaking mansion.”

“It’s not a mansion, Vinyl, it’s a turn-of-the-century brick manor. And like I said, it’s not that impressive.”

“Tavi, that thing could fit our entire neighborhood in it comfortably. You… why didn’t you tell me you were filthy rich?”

“Because I’m not,” I said, opening the gate, “My parents are rather wealthy, but if you will recall, they haven’t supported me in quite some time. I am still a struggling musician who can barely afford a decent apartment in Canterlot.”

“So by decent, you mean some multi-story mansion with an indoor pool and gym, right?”

I sighed as I knocked on the door to the house, “No Vinyl, I mean an apartment with both a living room and a bedroom. I know, the decadence I had grown accustomed to before moving to Ponyville is simply staggering.”

Before Vinyl could respond, the door swung open and a grey face, lined with age stared back at me. His blue eyes and white hair were instantly recognizable, and soon enough my forehooves had wrapped around him in a friendly embrace. “Woodhoof, I didn’t expect to see you on this trip, how are you?” Truthfully, I had assumed he had died years ago and my parents had neglected to invite me to his funeral.

“As well as can be expected Mistress Octavia, please come in, your parents are out on business right now so I do hope you don’t mind a wait.”

Vinyl raised an eyebrow as we walked inside. “Mistress?”

“She is the young unmarried heir to the Noble Gentry family, what other title would you suggest Miss…”

“Scratch,” I said, trying to take control of the situation. “Vinyl, this is the family butler Woodhoof, he was also pretty much the only friend I had during my foalhood. Woodhoof, this is Vinyl Scratch, she is my…” I trailed off as the words momentarily caught in my throat, “Marefriend.”

“Then well met, Miss Scratch, it’s nice to see the young mistress has found someone whose company she enjoys after the bad hoof her parents dealt her. I must say I was particularly livid after they kicked you out,” he said as we reached the sitting room.

“I know Woodhoof, I wish I had been given the chance to say a proper farewell and… wait, aren’t you at least a bit surprised about me having a marefriend?”

He just laughed, “Mistress Octavia, we played with dolls together, and if I recall correctly, there were plenty of romances amongst your various stuffed animals and nary a single stallion to be found. I am no great student of equine nature, but to me the notion that you might prefer mares to stallions seemed rather obvious after that.”

Next to me, Vinyl snickered and for a brief moment I felt the overwhelming urge to jam my elbow into her rib cage. “Then did you tell my parents or…”

Woodhoof shook his head, “On this topic and so many others that relate to you, your parents are completely in the dark. I didn’t think it my place to tell them and they never seemed that interested in the particulars of your life.”

“Hey, speaking of that, where are Musi- Tavi’s parents?” Vinyl asked, somehow managing to refrain from calling me Musicbutt. Small miracles, I suppose.

“Lady Estate is out shopping, and Mister Profit is dealing with the latest calamity to befall Capitail Records.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“It would seem that in the past several days, Apple Records has declared all out war on your father’s company and even managed to sign away their number one band, the Beat-tails. Today they announced that their first song under the new label would be titled ‘Record Profit’s Record Greed.’ Your father is very much unamused.”

“I see,” I said, recalling the recent visit the Apples had paid me. Apparently, when they disown somepony, they don’t take half-measures.

“Yes, your mother should be back any moment now, and I would expect your father to return for lunch around noon. Until then, please make yourself at home. I’m afraid I must finish cleaning the kitchen and see to preparing your father’s lunch. He get’s rather cross with me when his eggs are prepared improperly.” With that, he tottered out of the room in the general direction of the kitchen.

“Whoa,” Vinyl said after he exited the room, “You didn’t tell me you had an awesome butler, can we take him with us, dude would be like… the best roommate ever.”

“First of all, I don’t have a butler, my parents do. Second of all, taking him with us would almost certainly exacerbate the situation with my parents that I came here to resolve. Third, we don’t have space for him. And finally, even if you could convince him to share a room with our sentient mold monster, we still can’t afford to pay him on our salaries, and yes Vinyl, we would have to pay him.”

The argument continued for a few more minutes until the door to the sitting room opened and a charcoal grey mare walked in. “Woodhoof, could you please be a dear and fetch my bags? I left them in the foye-” She stopped and turned to regard me for the first time in a decade. “Oh, Octavia, you didn’t inform us that you would be visiting. Rather improper to just drop in unannounced.”

She cast a glance at Vinyl, “And you brought company. Again, without informing me. If I wasn’t feeling so generous, I would usher you out of the house until you could be bothered to make proper arrangements.”

I smiled at her, “It’s good to see you too mother.”

“I’ve actually been wanting to talk to you the past few days, so I suppose your unexpected visit is as fortuitous as it is rude. I heard that you were recently appointed to form an orchestra for Princess Luna herself. Since you’ve achieved a certain level of respectability, I think it’s time we consider bringing you back into the Gentry family.”

“Huh, that’s…” I paused trying to think of something to say, “Unexpected.”

My mother emitted a series of harsh mechanical barks that I suppose under favorable circumstances could be considered a laugh, “Octavia darling, you simply have the most fanciful notions. Did you think we would be upset to see that our daughter was appointed head of Princess Luna’s orchestra? No, you exceeded our wildest dreams, and we are very proud of you.”

“Uhmm… okay,” Vinyl said, finally entering into the conversation and earning the attention of my mother’s withering glare, “So then… why did you kick her out?”

“I’m sorry,” she said, “I didn’t know assistant’s were allowed to contribute to this conversation. Octavia darling, you really should manage your helpers better. What are people going to think when a mouthy mare who has so clearly dyed her mane represents you?”

I pursed my lips and practiced the calming breaths they taught me at the insane asylum. Things would be bad if I exploded now. “Actually mother, Vinyl is my marefriend, not my assistant.”

My mother clicked her tongue a few times, processing the latest revelation. “I suppose we can work with this, yes artists are rather infamous for their peculiarities, and while I don’t approve of such foalish actions, I suppose I can make an exception considering your recent successes.”

“Gee, it’s great to know Octavia has parents as supportive as you, now why the hay did you kick her out when she was ten?”

Mother sniffed at the air indignantly. “First of all, we exiled her from the house when she was twelve, and second of all, we spent three years turning a blind eye to the fact that she spent three years living with her grandmother Philharmonica. Mother was always far too soft to do the proper thing.”

“Yeah, damn her basic equine decency. How dare she interfere with whatever your crazy masterplan was.”

“Exactly,” Mother said, not picking up on the sarcasm dripping from Vinyl’s lips, “Even though we explained our plan in excruciating detail regarding Octavia’s proper development, she refused to follow suit. Still, things worked out so I suppose we can’t be too mad.”

“Care to explain the master plan to me? Ya know fill me in, make sure I don’t mess it up” Vinyl said, apparently deciding to play along with my mother for reasons that I could only guess it.

She sighed, “I suppose Octavia is old enough to hear just why we kicked her out and perhaps appreciate the beauty of our plan.”

“I am all ears,” I said, finally re-entering the conversation. Maybe they did have a reasonable explanation for their actions and they were endeavoring to help me all along, I thought like an utter idiot.

“Well you see, when it became clear that our darling daughter had her heart set on becoming a musician as opposed to choosing one of the more reasonable careers we had set out for her, we decided that it was absolutely vital for her to become a respectable musician as opposed to some wandering street corner minstrel or worse yet, a DJ, so it was decided that we would withhold the one thing a young filly desires more than anything else.”

“And that is?” I asked, still hoping that the terrible feeling developing in my stomach was unfounded.

Mother laughed, “Why our love and approval of course. While kicking you out did pain us, we had decided that it had the most optimal outcomes. The first was that, in your quest to earn the approval you so desperately craved, you would channel your energies into becoming a proper respectable musician as opposed to some glorified vagrant. The second was that you would pursue whatever wild passions struck your fancy without bringing shame and embarrassment upon your family.” As she said that, she shot an accusing glance at Vinyl, “We are very glad that you chose the first option, the thought of losing our daughter forever was almost too much to bear.”

“Didn’t stop you from kicking her out and disowning her though,” Vinyl said, her eyes narrowed and her continence struggling to conceal her rage. For my part, I was reanalyzing every decision I had ever made and seeing how many of them were shaded by the desire to prove to my parents that I could be both proper and a musician. The answer was far too many.

“Well of course,” Mother said, managing a smile that was completely devoid of mirth, happiness, or any other form of joy. “Haven’t you ever had to do something unpleasant for the greater good? Crush a pony’s hopes and dreams so that they might better themselves.” She laughed again and a shiver ran down my spine.

“What am I saying, of course you haven’t. Just look at you, mane dyed, posture abyssmal, my daughter is dating an idle pleasure seeker, a pony doing whatever she thinks feels good at the time, whatever brings her the most happiness, regardless of the consequences. You’ve decided to forsake the life of propriety to instead focus on satiating your own id. Not surprising of course, most ponies forsake that path to instead focus on ‘living their dreams,’” there was more harsh laughter after that, “And that’s what I want to make happen today. I want to help you fulfill your dreams., and to that end I am prepared to offer you, let’s say, forty million bits. The only condition is that I want you to stop publicly seeing my daughter.”

Vinyl opened her mouth to say something, but Mother ignored her, “Now please note I am not asking you to stop seeing my daughter all together, and if you two wish to carry on an illicit affair, that is your business, but it is important that she marries somepony of the proper social class and gender,” she unsmiled again, “And please don’t think I dislike you, but our daughter following the proper path in life is very important to both me and her father, and we only want what is best for her. I assure you, after some time to thinks things through, she will be just fine with our little arrangement and you will be substantially wealthier.”

“I… you mean… I…” I stammered ineffectively trying to think of something to say, Vinyl seemed just as shocked as I was and was struggling to think of something. Mother was unperturbed.

“You see dear, the poor girl has always been rather weak, she needs some proper motivation and guidance, without us she probably would have dyed her hair, started playing in some unsavory club, and taken up a ridiculous stage name.”

Something in her sentence brought me back to my senses, and I laughed. It wasn’t a laugh shared between friends and it certainly wasn’t my mother’s twisted mockery of laughter. Instead, it was the laugh of a mare at her wits end, the laugh of a conqueror seeing her enemies break upon her army. “I’m weak? I’m weak. That has to be the most ill-informed thing I have ever heard. You see darling mother, I’ve died. Multiple times. In the past month. Now yes, there is still some lingering trauma from me using the line that separates the living and dead as my own personal jump rope, but I’m here and remarkably well collected.”

For the first time since our conversation started, my mother’s cruel unsmile vanished and a look of uncertainty entered into her eyes. I was positively giddy. “Now, I came here today to try and reconcile with you all, and maybe find some tiny speck of good in you, some justification for your atrocious action. Instead, you confess to a plan that most serial villains would find excessively evil and then concocted some elaborate scenario in your heads where you were actually justified for disowning a filly for the crime of wanting to follow her dreams. Then, you try to bribe my marefriend to break up with me while I was still in the room with you, and again insisted that what you were doing was for your warped twisted version of ‘the greater good.’ Well guess what, despite all your absolutely insane machinations, I survived and even managed to thrive on my own four hooves, so now that I actually managed to make something of myself, you swoop in and try to take credit for all of MY victories.”

My lips pulled back in something that was half-snarl and half-smile. “We’re done, mother. You see, the last few weeks in Ponyville have taught me what a family is supposed to do, and if you want a reference, it is basically the exact opposite of what you have done. So here is what is going to happen, I am going to leave, you aren’t going to stop me, I will be dying my hair a lovely shade of pink just to spite you, and if you ever wish to contact me again, you will send a letter addressed to Miss Scratch.” I turned towards the door, “Let’s go Vinyl. Maybe we can meet up with Lyra and Bon-Bon later. Oh, and if you even consider taking my parent’s bribe money, we are done, even if you are just trying to swindle them out of it. I want nothing to do with either them or their money.”

“Yeah, no, totally… That’s uhm… Totally get that,” she said as she got up to follow after me.

I turned back to face my mother, unable to resist one last barb. “Oh, and Mother, if you are wondering just why Apple Records decided to declare war on Father’s company, it’s because of me. Apparently our family is distantly related to the Apple family, and once they heard of your… let’s call it, unique parenting style, they decided to disown you and do everything in their power to cut you down to size. If you had been at all pleasant today, I probably would have asked them to let you be. Instead, I think I will relate this story to them and see if they are willing to take any more drastic measures.”

Before I could finish my rant, Mother had vaulted from the room, presumably heading off to inform Father of recent developments. “Do you think I was too harsh on them?” I asked as we headed towards the exit and my anger dissolved into doubt over just how much of my identity I owed to my parents.. “She deserved it, certainly, but I still feel my outburst was rather rude.”

Vinyl laughed, “Are you kidding me? That was freaking awesome, I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anypony deal out such a verbal evisceration in… ever. Also, seeing you get all badass was kind of a turn on. I am a sucker for a strong-willed mare.”

“You know, if you want, we can find an unoccupied room and spite my parents one last time,” I said, deciding that I had no desire to listen to what propriety dictated at this time. A very large part of me was tempted to have a somewhat delayed rebellious phase. Not to the point of leaving the orchestra and becoming a street musician, but I think I would look quite fetching with a stripe of my mane and tail dyed a lovely shade of pink. Truly, I am a rebel the likes of which Equestria has never seen before.

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, “That sounds great if you’re saying what I think you’re saying.”

I nodded, but before we could diverge from the path, the door to the first floor library opened and Woodhoof came to block our path. “I’m sorry for intruding Mistress Octavia, but I couldn’t help but overhear your discussion with your mother.”

“It’s quite alright, Woodhoof,” I said, “I did raise my voice a bit towards the end. Will you be able to deal with my parents when they return?”

“Actually, that is what I wanted to speak with you about. You see, I am sworn to serve your family and have decided that serving your parents would be disruptive to the success and continuation of the family, so I was hoping that you, as the only other living member of the Estate family would be amenable to my working for you.”

“Well,” I said, struggling to process this recent revelation, “As honored as I would be to have you live with me, our housing isn’t anywhere near as spacious as what you are accustomed to, and we couldn’t pay you that much either.”

He laughed at that, “Mistress Octavia, your parents have been paying me next to nothing ever since they came into possession of the manor. The only reason I am able to make ends meet is because I also have very few expenses. Thankfully, your grandmother paid me substantially more and I’ve managed to save up quite the little nest egg for myself. It’s only eight million bits, but that should be enough to augment any potential downgrades in pay I might experience working for you.”

“That… Yeah, that should probably be fine,” I said, “That’s… If you’re sure, I would love to have you living with us, but there is one caveat I forgot to mention, you would be sharing a room with a sentient mold monster.”

“I… I see,” he said, “Have you tried exterminating it?”

I nodded, “It just makes it stronger, besides that, Moldy kind of grows on you after a while. In a good way though, I didn’t mean to imply it will gradually consume you.”

Woodhoof scratched his head, thinking of some proper response, “Well, that does put a damper on things, but it would still be preferable to continuing to serve your parents knowing just how insane they are.”

“If you’re sure then just let me write the address down for you and feel free to head over to Ponyville whenever you wish, Vinyl and I still have another week of vacation left, and I don’t think the Valiant has any rooms still available.”

“Very good Mistress, just tell me the address and I shall write it down at the first available opportunity,” he said, “I fear your parents shall return soon and I don’t think it would be wise for you to be here when that happens.”

I gave him my Ponyville address, said a proper farewell, and a few minutes later Vinyl and I were on our way back to the hotel. “Did I mention that that was totally awesome?” Vinyl asked, “I mean first of all, you totally gave your mom the verbal smackdown she so definitely deserved, and then we got ourselves the most adorable butler ever. He’s just so cool and chill.”

Despite my best efforts, I found myself smiling at Vinyl’s enthusiasm. I wrapped my forehooves around her neck and drew her close to me. My lips pressed against hers, and I lost myself to the sensation of being with my marefriend. Perhaps other ponies were staring at us, but for the few moments we were wrapped in the other’s embrace, I found myself unable to care.

“That was… are you okay? I mean, I am all for spur-of-the-moment make-out sessions, but I didn’t think you were big on making out in public. Or any public displays of affection, actually.” Vinyl said after our prolonged kiss had ended.

“I am fine,” I said as we resumed the walk back to the hotel, “I just… I’m trying to be a touch more impulsive. After Mother revealed the extent of her machinations, I am trying to break out of my shell a touch. Maybe I like being prim and proper all the time, but I think it would be for the best if I spent some time figuring out what I want as opposed to just following the path they set out for me.”

She nodded and kissed my neck, “That sounds good, and I totally support that, but don’t feel like you need to change too much. Although… were you serious about dying your mane? Cause you would be just… drop-dead sexy with a pink skunk stripe dyed into your mane.”

“Skunk stripe?” I asked, unfamiliar with the term.

“Yeah, you know that thing Twilight has in her mane and tail? It’s that.”

I nodded, “I will consider it.” I said as we drew close to the hotel, “Now I don’t know about you, but I would love to spend some time in our room writing and practicing the cello.”

“Is that supposed to be code for scandalous adult fun?” She asked, her eyes lighting up.

“No, it’s code for writing and practicing my cello.”

Vinyl groaned audibly, but didn’t offer any additional protest, “Fine, but I can’t be held responsible if I get bored and try to seduce you.”

“Fair enough,” I said as we walked into the elevator, “Just make sure I have at least a couple of hours to write my journal entry for tonight, I want to get everything caught up before our cruise tomorrow.”

She rolled her eyes, “Really, that is what you are concerned about? I thought-”

I cut her off. “Vinyl if I get caught up on my writing today then I won’t have to worry about writing anything for the first few days of the cruise, meaning we can spend more time together.’

“Alright, alright,” she said, “But Tuesday we are spending the entire day in our room, okay?”

“Are you sure? It feels odd for us to go on vacation and then spend the entire day in our room. Unless you are talking about…” I paused as I figured out just what she was getting at and smiled, “I suppose I can live with that compromise.”

A large part of the day passed with me practicing the cello while Vinyl occasionally tried to distract me through various acts of affection. For the most part, I succeeded in ignoring her, although I had a few rather enjoyable lapses in willpower, before the song that had been stuck in my head several days previously returned to me.

“Vinyl,” I asked, lifting my head up from the bed we were sharing, “Do you recognize any song that goes like this?” I hummed a few bars from it, hoping that her massive musical catalog would come in handy.

She furrowed her brow in thought and shook her head, “Sorry Tavi, don’t recognize it, and there aren’t many songs I don’t recognize (I shuttered at the double negative), it sounds nice though, maybe you should try writing it down and seeing if the orchestra will play it. Might just be your opus.”

“I doubt it,” I said, shaking my head, “I tried for years but I was never able to compose a single original line. Still, I suppose it wouldn’t hurt anything if I wrote it down.”

“Who knows,” she said after kissing her favorite spot on the back of my neck (She says she especially enjoys it as it is usually covered by my collar), “Maybe being in Ponyville and not spending all your time in your room playing the cello got your latent creative juices pumping. Maybe you’re gonna be the next Mocart.”

“Not likely,” I said, laughing and shaking my head, “By the time he was my age he had already written several symphonies and operas, while I’ve only started learning the value of friendship and romance in the past month. Which, if you’re wondering, is definitely preferable to playing my cello all day.”

“Glad to hear it, now go on and get writing, I want to see the five pages of sheet music by the time we leave tomorrow, and I guess you should do your journal entry as well, but I want you to go easy on it today, the doctor said you have that weird carpal tunnel disease that pretty much makes all of your favorite things bad for you.”

I groaned, “And please don’t remind me of that, if I have to go without playing the cello or writing in my journal, I think I will lose my mind… well, lose more of it at least,” I said as I moved towards the desk. From there, the rest of the evening passed with me writing and Vinyl flipping through one of the cheap romance novels she apparently stole from the Baltimare Public Library. Hopefully, Twilight will help me return them before we are hit with a fine that is too debilitating. Of course, she might take offense to me wasting her royal time over such a trivial matter, but I truly doubt that as she lives in a library and has been rather approachable during my few dealings with her. It will certainly be better than earning the ire of some secret society of librarians which, with my luck, is actually a thing that exists and not just some fanciful notion on my part.. Hooray.

That should do it for tonight. Tomorrow we head out on the Valiant for our tour of Equestria by way of rigid airship. After the past few weeks, I feel like I’ve earned this vacation, and can’t wait to be able to literally look down on everypony in Equestria.

Author's Notes:

So, I intended for this to go up yesterday to mark the one year anniversary of the first published chapter. Unfortunately, I couldn't get through all the editing stuff until today, making it the one year and one day anniversary, which doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

Still, when I look back and think of how this story has grown and gotten out of my hands since that first, flaccid, one thousand word update, I have to step back and say holy shit. When I originally conceived of this story, I envisioned each update being written in a day and the whole thing taking no longer than ninety days to complete. When the first entry took two days to write and was almost two-thousand words, I thought it was going to be substantially longer than most entries because I had to get so much character detail out of the way. Then the second entry was close to four thousand words, and I told myself that of course it would be longer than normal, it was a big day for Octavia so she wouldn't skimp on the details. Then the third day happened, and I started to think my original vision was going to be chucked out the window.

Now we are twenty-four entries in, each update usually takes at least a week for me to write, and if it is under five thousand words long I feel like I am cheating my readers, so I don't think I could've been more wrong when I published that first chapter a year ago. Still, I've had fun writing this story and I don't plan to stop anytime soon. As always, I hoped you enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it and please feel free to leave a comment, because they really make my day.

Expect a blog post soon where I try to pin down exactly why this story got away from me.

A Melody Redefined

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The last few days have been… I can’t remember half of one day, I was asleep for another day, and yesterday… well, what happened yesterday will not be included in this journal.

It all started innocently enough on the morning of our departure as I went about my morning routine, showering, grooming, and generally working to make myself presentable when it finally came time to put on my collar and bowtie. In years past, I had seen it as thread connecting my old life in Manehattan and my new life in Canterlot, a reminder that despite what my parents had told me, a musician could, in fact, be respectable. A reminder that no matter what happened, I must always act properly. Without a second thought, I dropped it into the trash bin, and went back to packing up my belongings.

“Hey,” Vinyl said as stepped out of the bathroom, her mane combed to the side and gelled, or as she called it, styled, “You almost ready to go?”

I flashed her a crooked smile, “I just finished packing, the only thing I have to do now is fix my mane.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Your mane looks like it normally does, or is this one of those things where you freak out because a single hair is out of place?”

“Actually,” I said, as I ran a comb through my hair and hastily undid all of my meticulous styling, “There aren’t enough out of place.”

Vinyl’s brow furrowed in confusion as I ruined my perfectly groomed mane and tail, “Uhmm Tavi, are you alright? You just like… I don’t think I’ve ever seen your mane this messy, and that includes the few times I wake up before you. I mean, just look at yourself.” She gestured for me to look in the mirror, and I saw that she was absolutely right. My mane was now swept to the side and it’s hair obscured my left eye, although I suppose I didn’t need the mirror to tell me that..

“This is wrong,” I said after a second of thought, “It needs a bit more color, do you have any dye with you?”

“Uhh… no, most ponies don’t use mane dye because it can’t really differentiate between mane and coat. I remember the first and last time I tried to dye my mane with an actual dye, I wound up turning half my coat electric blue.”

“So what do you do instead?” I asked as I strapped my cello case to my back, already suspecting her answer.

In response, Vinyl pointed to her horn, “Magic. It’s easier and it lasts longer. There’s really no downside beyond the fact that you need to either have a horn or know somepony with a horn, and luckily for you, you have me.”

I smiled and kissed her neck, “Do you think you could help me dye my mane? I still think the pink stripe we discussed last night would look quite fetching.”

Vinyl sighed contentedly, “I suppose I could,” she said, her horn shining with magical energy, “Just promise you won’t get too crazy trying to redefine yourself.”

“Of course.”

She pressed her horn against my temple and I felt the magical energy permeate my scalp and sink into my mane’s hair follicles before diffusing and spreading out. Contrary to what modern biology would lead you to believe, I could actually feel the magical energy altering my mane as a strand of hair obscuring my vision turned pink before my very eyes. The magic subsided and Vinyl pressed her horn against my flank, allowing the process to repeat. And although she might have lingered there a few seconds longer than was necessary, I certainly didn’t find myself inclined to complain..

I turned to examine myself in the hotel mirror, and I must admit that I was wrong when I said the pink stripe would make my mane look fetching. It made my mane look fantastic, and I gave my tail an experimental swish to see how it looked in the mirror.

In my excitement, I wrapped my forehooves around Vinyl’s neck and drew her into a passionate kiss (Vinyl terms it a make-out session, but I find the term deplorable), that lasted for a span of several minutes and ended with us back in the bed for another span of time.

“Well,” I said, clapping my forehooves together before getting out of bed, “We have spent enough time relaxing, and if we want to make our cruise on time, we need to head up to the top of the Equestria State Building.”

“Wait,” she said as she wrapped our items up in her telekinetic field, “The thing docks on top of a skyscraper? Can this ship get any cooler?”

“Yes to both questions,” I said as we walked out of the room, my cello case strapped to my back, “It’s a little known fact, but the spire on top of the Equestria State Building was designed for rigid airships to dock with. I don’t know why so many ponies don’t know that since almost all the Manehattan postcards have an airship floating right next to it.”

“I just thought it was because it looked cool,” she said, shrugging before turning back to the room door, “Oh, Tavi, what happened to your bowtie thingy? Do you want me to go get it for you?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t forget it Vinyl, it was a part of the old Octavia that I thought should be discarded.”

“Huh, okay…” Vinyl stared at the door for several seconds before bringing one of her bags in front of her and rummaging through it, “Sorry, I just remembered that I left my toothbrush back in the room? Mind if I get it real fast?”

“That’s fine,” I said, leaning against the wall, “I hope you don’t mind if I stay out here.”

“Nope, that’s super cool,” Vinyl said before darting back inside and reemerging several seconds later. “Got it,” she said, pointing to her saddlebags, “Anyways, let’s get a move on, I don’t want to miss the cruise.”

“It’s fine,” I said as we headed down the hallway, “I’m sure thirty seconds won’t kill us, now then, I believe we were talking about how airships are able to dock with the Equestria State Building?”

The two of us continued our conversation as we took the elevator down to the hotel lobby, with Vinyl periodically working to steer the conversation away from how the Equestria State Building was made before deciding to distract me with an impromptu kiss. If this is a thing we are going to start doing whenever we want to derail the other pony’s train of thought, then it has my full approval.

“Hey,” Lyra said as we entered into the hotel lobby, “You girls finally made it, Bon-Bon thought the two of you might have lost something in your room, but I figured you two were just-”

She was cut off as Bon-Bon stuck her hoof in Lyra’s mouth, “We were just wondering what kept you, but now that we are… Octavia, are you alright? You changed your mane.”

“It’s fine,” I said, smiling, “I just thought I might try something different with my mane today.”

“I see,” Bon-Bon said after a moment’s thought, “You also forgot your bowtie.”

I shrugged, “I just thought it would be nice for a change. After the meeting with my parents, I decided all those little things weren’t that important.”

“You… Maybe you should tell them about what happened yesterday, since they weren’t there and all,” Vinyl said, “You know, it might help explain just why you decided to dye your mane and throw away your bowtie. Also, sorry for not meeting you all for dinner last night, we kind of had a busy day.”

“It’s fine,” Bon-Bon said, “We didn’t get back until late last night, anyways.”

“Good idea,” I said, shooting Vinyl a quick smile, “That story should take up most of our walk.” I nodded at my friends, “Are you girls ready?”

“Yep.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You know it.

“Well, let’s get going, it’s new day, and a new Octavia, and I can’t think of anything that can ruin this cruise,” I kissed Vinyl’s cheek, “And thank you for all your assistance.” Apparently the “new Octavia” had forgotten my rule on not flagrantly tempting fate.

She smiled as we headed out of the hotel lobby, “Happy to help. I mean, if you’re happy then I’m happy,” she paused in thought for a second, “And I used the word happy way too much, like… it stopped sounding like a proper word.”

“Isn’t that the coolest,” Lyra said, “It’s called semantic satiation, it’s basically when you hear a word so much that its sounds stop having any special meaning and it just sounds like noise, see happy, happy, happy, happy happy happy happyhappyhappyhappyhappyapeaapea apea, apea, a pea.” She continued her recitation for another few seconds before Bon-Bon finally broke and shushed her.

“Thank you for the lesson dear, but ponies are beginning to look at you funny and I don’t think I can hear the word ‘happy’ one more time without losing my…” She paused and glanced nervously at me, “Patience.”

“Sorry,” Lyra said, looking appropriately cowed, “It’s just such a cool way how sound can carry meaning inside of it, especially when you can see that system break down.”

Bon-Bon glanced at Vinyl, “This is your fault, you know, you’re the one who suggested she take that linguistics class back at the academy.”

As we walked, I filled Lyra and Bon-Bon in on yesterday’s events while they occasionally chimed in with their thoughts, until eventually a shadow fell over the city and the four of us looked up to see the largest airship in Equestria blocking out the sun. Unlike other airships, which had a wooden gondola, this one was made using a metal alloy that had been enchanted with weight reducing properties, and the cords that bound the gondola to the rigid body were made out of silk webbing granted to Equestria by the Spider Queen Arachniss. The living quarters alone were about as big as the Equestria State Building was tall, and the rigid body (The thing that kept the airship afloat) was more than three times that. It’s presence over the city cast several Manehattan districts into an early evening, and my companions’ jaws actually dropped..

“That… I knew it was big, but I didn’t think it was that mind-numbingly enormous,” Vinyl said, trying to collect herself. “Who in their right mind would build such a thing.”

“Duke Valiant Heart the Third,” I said, my eyes still transfixed on the zeppelin. “He had it constructed as a way of showing his love and devotion to the crown, while simultaneously impressing the rest of the nobility with his vast wealth. It was designed to be a floating palace, and he intended for it to be used by the nobility to tour Equestria. Of course, once Celestia saw it she commended Duke Valiant for crafting such a marvelous airship and then declared that everypony in Equestria should be able to see his labor of love for themselves, so she turned it into a cruiseship that anypony in Equestria can purchase tickets for.”

My friends were staring at me now, apparently shocked by my knowledge of things that related to my old home town. “I was quite taken with the airship as a filly and was a rather voracious reader when I stumbled across anything even tangentially related to the Valiant.”

“So,” Vinyl said, “What you’re saying is that you like big boats and you cannot lie.”

I laughed at her atrocious reference to one of the few songs released in the past century that I had actually heard of. The old Octavia would have groaned and derided Vinyl for making such a terrible joke, but I didn’t want to be that mare anymore, even if that involved laughing at a joke was truly horrendous.

Vinyl shuttered at my laugh. “Hey, Tavi, if my joke’s not funny, you don’t have to laugh at it. I mean, it was kind of a groaner.”

“A lot of a groaner,” Bon-Bon added.

“What was wrong with my laugh? I thought your little joke was cute.”

“Yeah, no… you laughed like…” She trailed off, “You know what, nevermind, it’s fine.”

There was a brief silence as we finally reached the Equestria State Building, before Bon-Bon spoke up, “Wait, I’m sorry to bring this back up, but did Duke Valiant name the Valiant after himself?”

I nodded, “He wanted everypony in Equestria to know his name. Of course, he claimed he wanted a name to represent the spirit of Equestria, but since most of the early blueprints for the ship call it Valiant Heart III very few ponies who are knowledgeable of the airship’s history tend to believe that story.”

“Okay,” Vinyl said, “I have to hand it to Luna for picking out probably the only vacation in Equestria that you possess an encyclopedic knowledge of.”

“It’s hardly encyclopedic,” I said, “There are other ponies who are far better versed on the history of the Valiant than I am. I am merely an aficionado that is rather fortunate to have a friend in the palace.”

I smiled as I looked at the rigid airship, “Now having said all that, Princess Luna did choose the perfect destination for me.”

“Really?” Vinyl asked, “You didn’t seem that excited when I first told you.”

“Two things to keep in mind,” I said as we entered the Equestria State Building, “The first is that when you first told me, it was shortly after Nightmare Night, so my mind was understandably on…” I trailed off as my mind began to venture down darker paths best left untread, “Let’s just say other things. The second is that any kind of enthusiastic reaction didn’t strike me as proper at the time. If I showed affection towards this gift and not another, it might have seemed I was playing favorites, so I deemed it best to stay properly neutral any time I was given a gift. Obviously, my opinion on appropriate gift reaction has changed recently.”

“Tavi, I love you, but yeah… that seems kind of crazy. Not the craziest thing I’ve heard you say, but its kind of up there. Like, if I get you a good gift I want you to say that you like it and if I get you a crap gift tell me that too so I don’t get it again. Just… try to say it in a nice way.”

The four of us continued our conversation as we headed up towards the boarding level of the Equestria State Building, or more accurately we went to five levels below the boarding level to wait in line for three hours. Three soul-crushing hours. On the upside, there were no impromptu musical numbers or sudden appearances of an ex-flame, so it beat Anthro-Con in that respect. Then again, most things would.

Thankfully, we managed to check-in and board before Lyra’s choice in conversational topics (Hint: It was about humans and what she had been learning from the engraving she “borrowed”) drove me completely insane.

The second we stepped on board the Valiant, a giddy squeal escaped my lips. Like I said earlier, I had always dreamed of being inside the Valiant, of seeing the crystal ballroom with my own eyes, and spending time on a marvel of Equestrian engineering. The water gardens alone cost a small queen’s ransom and a large section of the ship was dedicated to more base pleasures where the alcohol flowed like water. In fact, they had recently added a rather large nightclub next to the piano bar, and when looking through all of the Valiant’s amenities, I remember thinking just how lovely it was that the piano bar (Of interest to me) and the piano bar (Of interest to Vinyl) were so close together. Standing inside the Valiant at that instant was the culmination of a lifelong dream that I had almost completely given up on after leaving for Canterlot. I must remember to write Luna a letter of thanks when I return.

“Glad you’re happy,” Vinyl said after kissing my neck, “Remember we got this vacation so you can relax and unwind. So, you know, take things easy and enjoy yourself for the next few days. The last I heard from Royal says the orchestra is doing well and that they eagerly await your return.”

“Wait a minute,” I said as we headed towards our suite, “You’ve been talking with Royal?”

“Yeah, in case anything cropped up, we all decided it would be best to have some sort of way of communicating in case something came up, so Luna is helping us relay dream messages. We also thought it would be best not to worry you about that stuff and instead have you focus on relaxing, so I probably shouldn’t have mentioned anything.”

Vinyl shrugged, “But hey, if you are trying to be more relaxed and carefree then it isn’t a problem is it?”

“Of course,” I said, smiling. Apparently, my commitment to being less proper was doing some good as I felt absolutely no… well, minimal concern that my friends had been conspiring behind my back. In fact, at that moment I was so focused on taking in every last detail of the Valiant that my mind simply didn’t have the time or inclination to fret over that detail, “Shall we tour the ship?”

“Sure,” Vinyl said, “I mean, they took our luggage from us at check in, and we have our room numbers so… Sure, let’s see some ship.”

One boat pun I could handle, but two was too much. “Vinyl,” I groaned, “I am working to be more care free and less proper, but your insistence on making terrible… I hesitate to call them puns but a better word escapes me at the moment, is testing my resolve.”

“Ha, I knew you weren’t in love with my totally lame pun earlier,” she said as we moved to look out one of the viewing windows to see the Manehattan skyline below us as ponies went about their daily routines and taxis filled the arteries of my birth city. It was actually quite beautiful from this far up now that the smells and less seemly sights had been obliterated by distance. “Also, you’re having trouble not caring about things? That seems kind of… counter intuitive doesn’t it?”

I nodded my head, “But bear in mind I spent twenty years obsessed with propriety and making sure every last detail of my life is perfect. I am basically basically just trying to act like you in the hopes that it will help me go in the complete opposite direction.”

For an instant, Vinyl’s brow furrowed, but just as quickly, it vanished, “Well, this is your vacation, so do what you want, just… please try to take it in reason, and I mean, be yourself, cause no matter how hard you try you aren’t going to make a convincing me in a thousand years.”

“I take it you don’t approve,” I said, noting that Lyra and Bon-Bon had managed to vanish at some point during our conversation.

“It’s not that I don’t approve, it’s just that I’ve been to enough after-school specials to know that bad things happen when you try to be somepony else, and that you should be yourself. I mean, you are trying to to break free of your parent’s plan and that is cool and all, but if you start acting like somepony else then you’ve just kind of reshackled yourself, right?”

That was… I don’t mean to insinuate that I found Vinyl to be unintelligent, after all, she had far more education than I, but I never expected her to say something so profound so plainly. It even made me stop and reconsider my plans for a few moments. Vinyl was right, I would make a terrible her, but if I stayed Octavia, then my parents would win.

My mind wandered back to the few brief moments I spent as my marefriend during Nightmare Night, the throbbing bass of the air, the way the world was electrified, and just how appealing it was. No, maybe I couldn’t be her, but history had shown that given proper circumstances, I could be very much like her. If I couldn’t be Vinyl Scratch, I thought, but I could be ~~Octavia Scratch~~ (Note: That portmanteau is terrible, never refer to your insane ambition to emulate your marefriend by that term again).

“Anyways,” she said breaking the lull in the conversation as she patted me on the back, “Just try to have fun this week. There’s no pressure and no matter what you do, things will be fine.”

After a few more minutes of gazing at the Manehattan skyline, we walked to our room, which was simply outstanding. When Luna told us she had purchased tickets, she neglected to inform us that she had gotten the two of us the Royal Suite. It was… It had a foyer. With a fountain in it. Made of crystal. Then, the hub room had a jacuzzi, a massive viewing window, and our alicorn-sized bed was situated comfortably in a loft that overlooked the lower level and also gave us a lovely view outside of the ship.

“Hey Tavi, do you think you can suffer severe mental trauma while working for one of the Princesses more often? Cause… This is kind of worth it.” Vinyl said after we finished surveying our lodgings.

I meekly nodded my head in agreement, “If me dying multiple times is what it takes, I would be willing to, although I would prefer it if you had a turn as the fate’s plaything.”

Vinyl flipped through the list of activities and amenities aboard the airship, “Check it out, there are like, two different spas for you to go to, a crazy awesome nightclub for me, a piano bar we can go to together and…” She trailed off and started laughing.

“And just what is so funny?” I asked as I walked up behind her to look at the booklet.

In response, Vinyl pointed at a small entry listed under the activities taking place in the Violet Room. “Be awed as the Great and Powerful Trixie takes the stage every night at 8:00 to amaze and stupefy audiences with her feats of magical prowess,” I said, reading aloud, “Well, while I can’t say I am wild about stage magicians, I really don’t see anything that hilarious.”

“Oh right,” she said as her laughter finally subsided, “You weren’t in Ponyville either time she showed up, although the second time wasn’t really that funny for anypony involved. Still, I can’t believe she got a job working on an airship.”

“Care to tell me the story?” I asked as I made myself comfortable on our bed.

“Sure,” Vinyl said, joining me on the bed, “So Trixie was a travelling stage magician, she came into town making all these crazy claims, a few ponies decided to call her out, an ursa minor attacked town, and she fled the town in shame. There were a few other details but that is the gist of it.”

“Alright,” I said, furrowing my brow in thought, “Exactly how is the showmare getting heckled the villain in the story, and how does it relate to an ursa minor attack?”

Vinyl tapped her chin, “Well, she did show up later wearing an evil amulet that made her mad with power the next time she came to town.”

“Why did she do that?” I asked, still struggling to understand the story.

“Because, after she got shown up by Twilight, her career was kind of ruined.”

“And you were planning on visiting her and apologizing for how your town ruined her career, right?” I asked, still not understanding how Trixie was the villain in the story, beyond a brief mention of coming back wearing an evil amulet.

“Actually, I was planning on letting everypony know that she went totally evil and enslaved a town.”

“Did that happen before or after she put on the amulet that made her mad with power?” I said, now getting slightly irritated with Vinyl. Granted, donning an amulet to get revenge was a bit excessive, but after the past few days I have a hard time judging a mare for making poor decisions while in a stressful situation.

“Well, after,” she said, suddenly very interested in her mane, “I mean, why are you taking her side?”

“I’m not,” I said, “It just sounds like she started off as the victim here. How would you feel if ponies started heckling you while you were performing?” Perhaps there is a soft spot in my heart for mares driven mad by Ponyville.”

“First of all, I don’t think I could hear any hecklers when I am up on stage, but if I could, I suppose I wouldn’t be super cool with some ponies trying to steal my show.”

“So don’t you think we should apologize to her? Perhaps congratulate her on the new job?’

“Alright,” she groaned, “But if she starts being a jerk then I am walking.”

“Fair enough,” I said, resting my head on her stomach as the engines hummed to life and pushed us away from our moorings. With that issue resolved, we spent time enjoying the view of a city drifting below us, the evening sun reflecting beautifully off of the Manehattan skyscrapers.

“Hey,” Vinyl said, “ Want to head down to the hot tub for a little while? Admire the view from a different angle.”

I smiled, enjoying the warmth coming off Vinyl’s stomach, “I am perfectly fine here, but if you want to spend time in the jacuzzi, I would be happy to join you.”

We headed towards the jacuzzi, before Vinyl decided that a place as nice as this had to have some wine stored somewhere. She was right of course, and a few minutes later, we were sipping wine while enjoying our hot tub. The time spent in the jacuzzi was wonderful, and as I felt the wine dulling my senses and filling me with a slow languid joy, I felt all my reservations dissolve.

“Do you know what we should do?” I asked, turning to face my marefriend. “We should get tattoos.”

Vinyl furrowed her brow, “Tavi, that… that doesn’t make any sense, we are covered in fur, so even if we did get a tattoo, nopony would ever see it. Also, I’m not even sure if its possible for us to get tattoos.”

“Alright,” I said, shrugging, “Well, we could always go down to the bar and get something to drink?”

“Sure,” Vinyl said, moving to get out of the hot tub, “Piano bar?”

I shook my head, “Let’s try out the nightclub, it sounds fun.”

My marefriend stared at me for a second before responding. “Are you sure? Those places can be kind of loud at times or,well, all the time.”

“Of course,” I said, “A change in environs would do me a world of good, and I’ve always wanted to check out a nightclub.”

“Alright,” she said after a brief pause, “I mean, if that is what you want to do this is your vacation. I will go get Lyra and Bon-Bon.”

If I may momentarily digress, I would like to take this opportunity to say how incredibly surreal it is to recall my thought process, or lack thereof. While I had been working to be more carefree, the total loss of my inhibitions was not something I had planned on, and writing down the whole list of my transgressions is not going to be a pleasant experience by any stretch of the imagination. Especially… Well, as the night wore on, my actions became more and more regrettable.

Once we had rendezvoused at the nightclub, which is apparently not particularly crowded in the late afternoon, I ordered a whiskey while my friends ordered their poisons of choice.

“Wow, Tavi,” Vinyl said, “I didn’t really peg you as a whiskey girl, I mean, wine sure, but not whiskey.”

I shrugged. “Whiskey is a drink of subtlety, with so many little tastes for the palette to appreciate, it isn’t obnoxious and cloying like the fruit punch and alcohol you ordered..”

Vinyl pursed her lips in thought, “Yeah, okay, that sounds kind of like something you would say.”

“Of course it does,” I said, laughing, “After all, I said it.”

The bartender returned with our drinks, whiskey for me, and an assortment of fruity cocktails for my friends. Lyra’s drink stands out in my mind as it was approximately the size of a punchbowl and given the name “Shark Attack.” Had we been sailing over the open ocean, I would have said the name was an ill omen, as things stand now, I find the name tactless, back then, I thought it was hilarious.

“Hey Lyra,” I said, looking around the empty dance floor, “I will give you thirty bits if you drink that whole thing in less than a minute.”

“What? No. That’s dumb,” she said, “I want to savor this beauty, not chug it like some sorority sister trying to impress her friends.”

“Alright,” I said turning to face the bartender, “Another Shark Attack please.”

“Uhmm, Tavi, what are you doing?” Vinyl asked as Lyra and Bon-Bon exchanged glances.

“Simple,” I said as the bartender went about mixing my drink, “I thought it would be a fun little game to try and drink that in one go and since Lyra isn’t game, I thought I would try.”

“Sorry, but haven’t you already had a good bit to drink tonight? Like, there was that bottle of wine, the whiskey you just ordered, I mean, maybe drinking an entire Shark Attack in a minute isn’t the best idea.”

“Of course it is,” I said as I downed the rest of my whiskey, “I’ve never felt better in my life. It’s like… Like I’m finally free to do whatever I want, there’s no voice in my head telling me what to do, and I have to say that I am just in love with this feeling.” To make my point, I leaned in close and nibbled at the tip of Vinyl’s ear. Her body went slack and I could feel her qualms melt away.

It’s hard for me to imagine how in Equestria I could ever take satisfaction in manipulating Vinyl, but I did, and even if Vinyl says it was just the alcohol and medication interacting with each other in strange and interesting ways, I have to accept that the mare doing all these strange and terrible things was still fundamentally me, and that is one of the most challenging things I have had to struggle with since I came to Ponyville.

After I had silenced Vinyl’s objections, we spent the next several minutes performing the sloppiest and least dignified kiss imaginable. Vinyl terms them “make-out sessions,” but I find the term objectionable and refuse to use it as a descriptor in this journal. Not that I am against the concept of such things obviously, but the words leave a bad taste in my mouth.

If I had even the slightest bit of self-control at this time, I would have stopped what Vinyl referred to as us “making out,” (Damn her, the term is a useful hand even if I find it distasteful) immediately for fear of embarrassing Lyra and Bon-Bon, but as should be patently obvious, I did not and instead allowed myself to indulge in base pleasures with no thought paid to how it might affect those around me. As for Vinyl, I suppose she was too busy enjoying some aspects of the recently liberated me to care.

Thankfully, we were eventually interrupted by the bartender who had arrived with my drink, and as promised, I proceeded to down the entire thing. It was far too sweet and drowned out the taste of the alcohol, which makes me wonder just why anypony would order it as opposed to fruit punch, but at that moment I was far too elated to care.

“Alright,” I said, slamming the glass down on the bar, “Pay up.”

“Uhmm… Tavi,” Lyra said, “I don’t think anypony took your bet since none of us are in academy anymore or even young enough to be in…” She trailed off as she remembered that I was the youngest of the group and probably would still be attending the academy if I would have been allowed in, “Oh.”

I shrugged again, as it had quickly become the new Octavia’s favorite gesture. “It’s fine Lyra, nothing to be worried about. Now, let’s do some dancing.”

“Actually Tavi, if you want to dance we should probably wait until there are a few more ponies out there, believe me when I say you don’t want to be the only mare on the floor at a place like this unless you like announcing to a club filled with sketchy ponies that you don’t know the unwritten rules of the nightclub.” Vinyl said, “Besides, nopony dances in these clubs in the early afternoon.”

My desire to dance wilted, and I instead found myself scanning the nightclub for any ponies who looked interesting until my eyes settled on a mare with a blue coat, a powder blue mane, a wand and moon for a cutie mark, and a figure that was absolutely stunning. “Hey Vinyl, look at that mare over there,” I said pointing a hoof in my direction.

Vinyl’s gaze followed the direction of my hoof before landing on the mare in question. A second later, she was laughing hysterically as Lyra and Bon-Bon joined in snickering, “Tavi, do you remember that magician I was telling you about earlier?”

“The one you ran out of town for having the audacity to use a stage ponysona?”

“Uh yeah,” Vinyl said, “And the one who took over town.”

“Are you trying to say that that mare is her?”

Vinyl nodded.

“Let’s go say hi to her,” I said as I sauntered towards the mare in question. After a second, the other three mares followed after me.

“Hello,” I said as I took a seat next to her, “It’s Trixie right?”

She nodded after taking another pull of bourbon. “Indeed it is, can I assist you? Perhaps you wish an autograph from the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

“Actually, my friends here recognized you from your show in Ponyville, now I thought that the brash overconfidence was a stage ponysona, and the only reason you showed up… whoever you showed up was because you don’t abide hecklers, but I personally disagree with them and was wondering if you could shed a bit of light on the subject matter.”

Trixie finished her drink and turned to examine my friends closely. “I recognize the two of you,” she said, pointing at Lyra and Bon-Bon, “But I don’t recognize her.”

“Uhmm, I was in the back of the audience,” Vinyl added. lamely.

“I see,” she said, furrowing her browt, “I feel like I’ve seen you somewhere else though.” She stared intently at my marefriend for a few minutes before tapping her hoof on the bar, “That’s it. You were DJing at that Canterlot nightclub, The Body Electric, DJ-P0N3 right?”

Vinyl nodded.

“Well then, you behave differently than DJ-P0N3 does, correct? For instance I noticed during your show that you had the habit of referring to yourself in the third person, a habit I am familiar with, but I am assuming you don’t do that when you are lounging around the house.”

My marefriend ran a hoof through her mane and laughed, “Yeah, kind of noticed you do the same thing.”

“Indeed, the Great and Powerful Trixie is also far more… well, I want to say she is more egotistical than I, but I remember that when I did my Ponyville show, my ego matched hers,” her gaze drifted downwards and there was a brief lull in the conversation, “The subsequent years have served to humble me.”

“Okay, well that still doesn’t explain why you tried to take over Ponyville,” Bon-Bon said. While they spoke I was busy ordering another drink, this time deciding it would be fun to have some scotch. The fact that I survived the night continues to baffle me.

“Also very true, but I’d like to say taking over Ponyville was never my intention. In fact, I originally tracked down the Alicorn Amulet in the hopes of using it to jump start my career by beating Twilight Sparkle in a magic duel. I planned for it to be a friendly duel but… Do you know what it is like to be unable to perform your special talent and instead be forced to farm rocks for a living? You’d do almost anything to get your life back on track, and it makes you rather susceptible to the whisperings of an evil amulet, at least it did for me.”

“Wow, when you put it like that, we almost sound like the bad mares,” Lyra said rather enthusiastically.

“From my perspective, you are, now-”

“Hey, hey Vinyl,” I said as the alcohol began to take effect, “She’s kind of cute right, do you think we could make an arrangement? You know, with like… the three of us going back to our room and-”

“Let me stop you right there,” Trixie said, “I am already in a lovely relationship and have no interest in jeopardizing it for some drunken party pony. Also, isn’t it a bit presumptuous of you to assume that I’m a fillyfool- Hey, where are you going?”

At some point in her tirade, I had lost interest in what she was saying and decided to get away from Vinyl’s incredibly angry glare. “Hey alcohol, more bartender please… Wait, no, scratch that, reverse it.”

The bartender obliged me as Vinyl finished up her goodbyes with Trixie and stomped over towards me, “Just what in the hay do you think you are doing? I get that you want to be a bit more free spirited and fun, but there is a line Tavi, and guess where propositioning a mare in public without talking to me beforehoof falls?”

I thought for a second as I drank the latest scotch and the world grew fuzzy, “The… fun side?”

I would like to record Vinyl’s justifiably angry response, but I don’t remember it. In fact, I don’t remember a vast majority of what happened after that. There are snippets of course, me grinding up against several mares on the dance floor while Vinyl abstained from dancing and instead fumed in the corner, drunkenly dancing on a tabletop in a manner that I thought was provocative but more than likely looked like the spastic flailings of a mare having a seizure, Vinyl angrily dragging me back to our room to chew me out for my atrocious behavior and ordering me to sleep it off, me sneaking out of our room to continue my alcohol-fueled rampage, and finally, terrorizing an entire kiddy pool with my drunken shenanigans shortly after dawn before Vinyl finally tracked me down and brought me back to the room.

The next thing I remember, I felt like my head had been shoved inside one of the ship’s engines, and for the longest time I wondered if I had died. As I remembered more and more of my night, I wished I was.

Thankfully, it was dark out, and if not for that small mercy, I fear my head might have imploded in on itself, and after several minutes of wishing death upon myself, I opened my eyes to see just where I ended up, and if the aftermath of whatever I did was as bad as I imagined.

As soon as I opened my eyes, Vinyl’s voiced boomed inside of my head. “Glad you are awake.”

“Whispers please,” I groaned while shoving my head into a pillow.

“Right,” Vinyl whispered, “You probably have the mother of all hangovers right now. Look Tavi, I’m not going to mince words, I’m pretty pissed right now. I mean, I’m pissed with myself for not remembering all the warnings on your meds advising you not to take with alcohol, but I am still pretty upset with you for just… humiliating me last night.”

I groaned as I recalled what few memories I had of last night (and apparently the morning after) and felt as if I was about to vomit, although a large part of that might have been due to the rather excessive amounts of alcohol I consumed. “I’m sorry Vinyl, I… I knew what I was doing, but it was like all the parts of me that inform me when I am about to do something colossally stupid took the night off. I would more than understand if you thought my behavior last night was unacceptable and appropriate grounds for a... break-up (I had wanted to pick a word that didn’t sound like something you’d overhear at primary school, but was unable to find a suitable synonym. Note: Invest in a thesaurus for future journal entries).”

My eyes watered as I spoke, and it was difficult to tell if it was caused by my head feeling as if it were an overripe melon or the fact that there was a very good chance that I had ruined my relationship with the mare I cared for most in the world.

She nodded, “I thought about it, and I mean I really thought about it around the time you propositioned the third mare that evening, but first of all, I couldn’t storm off all upset because leaving you alone would be in violation of of that form thingy I signed, and second of all, once I got to thinking about it I remembered that letting you drink alcohol while on your meds was a very bad idea. Guess I found out why last night.”

“So you aren’t going to break up with me then?” I asked as I tried to get up on my hooves before deciding anything that involved movement wasn’t a good idea at the moment.

Vinyl shook her head, “Can’t blame you entirely for something that is partially my fault, and I figure that I am just as responsible for your drunken train wreck as you are. Also, I had, like, a day to think things over while you were passed out and vomiting.”

“I vomited?” I asked, looking around for any signs to back up her claim.

She nodded,“Oh yeah, lucky for you, I learned plenty of spells for cleaning that stuff up back in academy.” She said, laying down next to me. “The bedsheets are as cleans as if they were just laundered.”

I smiled as she wrapped her foreleg around me, “I don’t know how you do it Vinyl, I tried being impulsive and free-spirited and the results could charitably be described as an absolute disaster.”

“Two things,” she said, wrapping a forehoof around me, “Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t do every damned thing that pops into my head. I mean, sure I express myself freely and I love a good time as much as the next mare, but I don’t just do whatever I feel like all the time. If I did that, I probably never would have graduated from academy. Second, and most importantly, all that fussiness you were trying to do away with yesterday is what makes you you, and it’s what made me fall in love with you in the first place. Sure, I think it would be good if you expressed yourself a bit more and talked with me about what is bugging you as opposed to bottling every issue you have up until you have a crazy mental breakdown, and you know, if you try to change who you are just to spite your parents then it still kind of feels like you are giving them power.”

“That…” I mulled over her words, “I keep forgetting how inciteful you can be when you set your mind to it.

She nodded and kissed my cheek, “Yep, I try not to make a habit of dispensing wisdom all the time, otherwise ponies will be hounding me day and night, but I figure I can make an exception for you. Now how do you want to play things from here?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well, I mean, are you going to go back to being Tavi classic or are you going to keep trying to figure out this whole free-spirit thing? Because I should warn you if you have another night like last night, then we are done. Hay, we would have been done last night if it weren’t for the fact that I kind of dropped the ball as well.”

I sat up and tried to think coherently without having my head crash in on itself. The two tasks proved difficult to manage simultaneously, but I managed to persevere. “I think… I don’t think I ever want to have a night like last night again.” My hoof drifted up to my now exposed neck, “And I think I made a mistake throwing away my bowtie and collar.”

Vinyl smiled and went over to her dresser, “Remember when I said I left something in the room? Well, that wasn’t quite true. See, you left something in the room and I thought you might want it back later.”

As she spoke, something white and pink floated over towards me and a cursory examination revealed it to be my lost bowtie. “You saved it for me.”

“Sure did,” she said, sitting on the bed next to me, “I thought you might want it back later and I also think that you look absolutely bangin’ wearing it.”

“Banging means good, correct?” I asked as I donned my familiar collar.

“Of course, it’s like a higher version of sexy, so if you see a mare who makes you feel like your heart is trying to jump out of your mouth, you say that she looks bangin.’ I guess you are going back to Tavi classic?”

“Not quite,” I said as I finished adjusting my bowtie, “While I don’t think I will be acting impulsively any time in the foreseeable future, I will try to express myself freely, and I think keeping that little pink stripe in my mane and tail will be a lovely reminder of that goal.”

“So, just to make sure I have this clear in my mind, you are going to start sharing your feelings with me AND keep that pink skunk stripe?”

I nodded.

“Awesome, that’s like classic Tavi with a wonderful new twist, and you found a way to look even sexier.”

“Thank you,” I said as I felt blood rush to my cheeks and a smile form on my lips, “So if all that is taken care of, what do you want to do now?”

“Well,” she said after kissing the back of my neck, “If I recall, a certain somepony said we could spend all of Tuesday in our room, and while I suppose we did wind up spending a lot of the day in our rooms, I don’t think it is what either of us had in mind, so I think a redo would be pretty fun.”

She was wrong on that last bit, the redo was absolutely amazing, and I think that is all I feel the need to say about Wednesday.

Conversations and Other Pressing Engagements

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As Vinyl is so keen to remind me, spending all day writing in no way helps my recent diagnosis of carpal tunnel syndrome, and so she has convinced me to start greatly abridging the events of my day and only going into detail when I get to something that strikes me as either particularly important or particularly interesting. Considering just how intolerable the pain in my hoof can be at times, I am very much inclined to agree with her, and I hope any theoretical reader (Still probably Vinyl) will forgive me this break in format. I mention all of this because Thursday, while incredibly pleasant was also quite uneventful, and so I feel no need to detail the minutiae of every conversation and instead will be broadly summarizing.

It started quite pleasantly with Vinyl spending a few minutes in the hot tub watching the sunrise after I, in her words, “nagged her out of bed.” While Vinyl admitted the scene was indeed quite lovely, she also said that anypony who would willingly wake up at this hour was absolutely insane before going back to sleep, giving me plenty of time to practice my cello in the parlor (I’m still not sure just how many rooms our suite has). When she finally did get back up, we met with Lyra and Bon-Bon for lunch, and the three of us combined managed to convince Vinyl to eat something that wasn’t an oatburger, hayburger, or some version of fries. Gourmands around the world rejoice.

After that, we spent a majority of our day on the pool deck, me reading from one of my books while the other three splashed around in the water. Eventually, I gave into their pleadings and spent some time swimming with them. It was fun enough, I suppose, but given the choice I would much prefer reading and basking in the light of the sun as opposed to making a complete fool of myself in front of others. Then again, everypony in the pool was making a complete fool of themselves, so I doubt they would care if I acted like a foal, but the whole thing reminded me of my most recent episode and the few memories I have of terrorizing foals in the fillie pool kept my flank firmly rooted in my seat for most of the day. Finally, we met at the piano bar Ebony & Ivory to listen to one of the piano duels while Vinyl made sure I abstained from drinking (Not that I needed any help on that front).

If only I had more days like this.

The next day started off as uneventfully as the day before. Vinyl and I spent some time looking around the ship and seeing all the various amenities they had to offer, with the spa in particular catching my attention. She quickly agreed that a spa day sounded enjoyable (It is possible she agreed just to humor me), and we made an appointment for two at two, before going on to spend time touring the Arboretum (How the ship manages to have a greenhouse, I have no idea). It was lovely of course, and I found myself particularly fascinated by the flora of the recently rediscovered Crystal Empire. The trunks of the trees were made of rose quartz and the leaves were made from ultra-thin sheets of jade. Biology in Equestria is a strange and confusing wondrous thing.

After our tour of the ship, it was time for us to meet Lyra and Bon-Bon in the cafe for lunch, or more accurately, it was time to meet Bon-Bon in the cafe for lunch.

“Where’s Lyra?” I asked as I took my seat.

“In the library,” Bon-Bon said with a small sigh, “Did you know that this ship library has it’s own mythology section?”

“Ah,” I said, “Well then I suppose I know what she is looking up.”

Bon-Bon nodded, “Right now she is on a big kick about the Crystal Empire. She is absolutely convinced that-”

She was cut off as Lyra bounded into the room. “Guess what!”

“You found some new and obscure lore on humans,” I said, not even bothering to look up from the menu.

“Nope! Although…” She trailed off for several seconds before shaking her head, “Nevermind, not important. What is important is that while I was sitting in the library, I got to talking with this stallion, and apparently he is one of the big event coordinators on the ship. Anyways, they are kind of scrambling right now, because the DJ they hired for the party on Rainbow Road (What the collection of nightclubs and bars was called due to the their tendency to be named after colors) got sick after eating a bad oatburger yesterday.”

I have no comment on the fact that the only reason Vinyl wasn’t similarly afflicted was due to my attempt at culturing her. Gloating is so very undignified.

“Well anyways,” Lyra continued, “I mentioned to him that I am friends with DJ-P0N3 and that she is currently on board this ship, and then he says he is willing to pay 16,000 bits if she could play on such short notice. You just have to be there to help set up at and stuff at 1:45.”

“Wow,” Vinyl said after a few seconds of silence, “Tavi, can I please cancel our spa day to go do the DJ thing and make enough cash for a dozen spa days.”

“Of course,” I said, “We can move our reservations to tomorrow, I will be fine watching you perform in a club. In fact, I don’t think I’ve managed to see any of your shows without having a life-threatening emergency or mental break down.”

“Wait, no, that won’t work,” Vinyl said, chewing her cheek in thought, “I can’t let you out of my sight, and I definitely won’t be able to hear you while I am playing… Huh, I guess I will just tell them I can’t do it.”

“Vinyl,” I said as calmly as I could, “It’s 16,000 bits, you absolutely have to do it.”

“And I also said that I wouldn’t leave you alone, and I certainly won’t be leaving you alone unsupervised in a bar… or bars, I guess.”

“You make it sound like I am a foal, incapable of being left alone for even a second,” I snapped, frowning slightly. I knew her reasoning, and even agreed with her, but still rebelled at the idea of forcing Vinyl to nanny me all the time.

“It’s just…” She sighed, “If anything bad happens, it will be my fault, and as cool as it would be to make 16,000 bits it would be even cooler if you didn’t have another episode.”

We both looked at each other for a few seconds, trying to come up with a suitable solution before Bon-Bon spoke up. “Vinyl, would you be okay if one of us spent time with Octavia while you did your show.”

“I suppose,” she said, after much thought and some chewing on her lip, “But if you two have something planned-”

Bon-Bon shook her head, “Lyra plans to comb through the on-ship library as opposed to spending time enjoying the ship, so I really didn’t have that many plans for the day.”

“Well,” I said, finally feeling the need to enter the conversation my friend and marefriend were having about me, “Bon-Bon and I can go to the spa today, and then you and I can go some time when we get back to Ponyville. Assuming Ponyville has a spa of course.”

The three of them nodded, and I turned to Vinyl, kissing her on the cheek. “Would you be okay if Bon-Bon and I spent some time together today?” I turned to Bon-Bon, suddenly becoming aware of the fact that I was doing the same thing to her that she and Vinyl had unintentionally done to me, “The same question goes for you of course. I probably should have asked you first in fact.”

“Yeah, that’s fine,” Vinyl said, turning to Bon-Bon, “Assuming that sounds good to you, I mean. Like Tavi was saying, I don’t want to presume or anything. Just keep an eye on Tavi, if she starts freaking out or hyperventilating get her to me as quickly as possible, and Tavi-”

“I will be fine,” I said, “Honestly, after the last few weeks it is hard for me to imagine myself being phased by anything short of… Well, I suppose the saying ‘the return of Discord’ is nowhere near as meaningful as it used to be, but I can’t think of another that has the appropriate weight.”

“Ooh!” Lyra said, perking her head up, “The sundering of the firmament.”

“Let’s go with that,” I said, “Anyways Vinyl, I will be at a spa, I can’t think of a place that would be more relaxing.”

Bon-Bon smiled, “A spa day sounds lovely, and you know, Octavia, I don’t think the two of us have really spent that much time together.”

“You know what, I think you’re right,” I said, “Let’s call it a mares day out.”

“Uhmm… Tavi, we’re all mares here, pretty much anything we do that is outside of our house would count as a mares day out.”

I pursed my lips, trying to think of just how I had made such a blindingly obvious mistake. “How silly of me,” I said, after a brief pause, “Let’s call it an earth ponies day out then. Either way, I think it will be quite enjoyable.”

After that, the four of us spent some time enjoying our lunch and discussing all of our plans for the day and the remainder of the cruise. It seemed like it had only just started and we were already over halfway through it. How the time flies, especially when one is black-out drunk/passed out for an entire day. Eventually the four of us finished our meals and prepared to head our separate ways, Vinyl to Rainbow Road, Lyra to the library, and Bon-Bon and I went off to the spa. “So,” I said as we entered the spa, “How has your vacation been?”

“It is good,” she said, “Although with how busy the last few days have been, I really haven’t had a chance to-”

“Hello, do you have an appointment?” The mare behind the desk asked. It was the same mare we made our appointment with.

“Yes, we have a two o’clock appointment,” I said, masking my irritation, “It is under the name Octavia.”

“Ohhhhh,” she said after a pause, “I didn’t recognize you without the mare with the blue hair. What happened to her?”

“She had a pressing engagement so I brought a friend instead. That’s not a problem is it?”

“No, no, no, of course not, it just confused me is all,” she said, laughing like a hyena, “Please, go inside and put on your robes. Just to confirm, you ordered the ultra-deluxe package, right?”

I nodded.

“Thank you very much, please enjoy your stay,” she said, pulling back the curtain for us.

“I’m sorry,” I said, turning my head towards Bon-Bon as we walked into a room with two robes laid out for us, “What were you saying?”

“Oh,” she said as we worked to put on our robes, “It’s just with how busy things have been the last few days, it never felt like the right moment to propose to Lyra, and now she is so focused on her research on this Crystal Empire connection I don’t think she would notice if I did.”

I found myself laughing at the idea, “You know, we have an absolutely incredible stateroom, perhaps the two of you could come over to spend some time with us, soak in the jacuzzi, admire the view, and then propose when Vinyl and I step out so I can show her something in the parlor.”

“You have a parlor?” She asked as we were directed towards the sauna.

“Bon-Bon,” I said, “Our stateroom has everything. It has a parlor, a reading room, some rooms I haven’t explored yet. It might even be bigger than our house.”

She tapped her chin in thought as I opened the door to the sauna. “That could work, I would have to hide the hoofband box in there beforehoof.”

“We can do that after we are done here,” I said, following her into the sauna. “Then we can meet with Lyra and nopony will be any the wiser.”

“Thanks,” she said as we settled into our seats and felt the heat sap the energy from us. For the longest time, nopony talked. Occasionally, I would add a few drops of water to the coals over the fire. As we sat and let the heat draw the sweat and worry from our bodies, my mind chewed on a worry that had been building in the back of my head the last few days, it wasn’t major, not yet at least, but as I stared at the ground, I caught a glimpse of the pink stripe in my tail and remembered my promise to be more open about my feelings. Even if doing so might lead to ~~us breakin~~ ~~the end~~ the dissolution of my relationship with Vinyl.

If I didn’t address them properly, I would more than likely wind up assaulting some mare who earned my ire during the next few days or doing something else that would definitely doom my relationship with Vinyl. My mind ran in circles, arguing for and against speaking up simultaneously, until I looked up from the floorboards and saw the cream-colored mare sitting across from me who had been in a stable, loving relationship for years. My attentions immediately turned to how I could best bring up the issue without upsetting her, and I spent some time trying to plan out just how I would broach the subject.

The mudbath was next, and I found it’s placement directly after the sauna to be counter-intuitive, but then, I’m not a professional spa designer, so perhaps there is some unknown merit to this arrangement that escapes me at the moment. Or perhaps it just didn’t matter as we were sent to the jacuzzi after the mudbath anyways.

It was in the jacuzzi that I finally found both the energy and courage to ask Bon-Bon for relationship advice. While there was some conversation in the mudbath, it was of a genial and unimportant nature, and I feel no desire to transcribe all the little pleasantries we discussed.

“Bon-Bon,”I said, tentatively, “Can I ask you a rather personal question?”

“Sure, just as long as I can ask you the same question afterwards,” she said, slowly turning to face me.

“Well,” I said, “What drew you to Lyra, the two of you seem like-”

“Polar opposites?” She said, sparing me from possibly committing a minor faux pas.

I nodded at her. “If you don’t want to answer that is completely fine, I am just wanting to understand how you two managed to make a relationship between two completely different ponies work.”

She smiled, “I think I understand, and I suppose the biggest thing is that we both offer something the other lacks. Lyra is funny and adventurous and a lot smarter than you might suspect, and thanks to her, every day is an adventure. Meanwhile, I like to think that I provide a bit of support and stability she might otherwise lack,” Bon-Bon laughed, “Apparently when she was with Vinyl, they would stay up for nights on end and get so involved in their own private worlds they would frequently forget to eat, at least, that is what she told me.”

“So,” I said, meditating on her words while the jacuzzi continued to drain me of tension, “You provide stability and she provides the adventure? That’s how you balance each other?”

“I suppose,” she said, frowning slightly, “But that is a rather mechanical way of thinking of things. We all have strengths and weaknesses, and if we are lucky, we will find somepony who compliments them. Now it’s your turn.”

I closed my eyes, determined to beat down the familiar tide of worry rising inside. “Right,” I said, staring down at the water, “That’s… that’s what I’ve been having trouble with. I know what Vinyl brings to the relationship, but I can’t figure out what my own strengths are. We’re both musically talented, but she can actually create music while I just work off of rote memorization and practice, she’s been the only thing keeping me half sane the past few days, and she’s still somehow more outgoing than I am. Not to mention the fact that she’s better educated. The only thing I can do that she can’t is play the cello flawlessly.”

Bon-Bon frowned, “Sweetie drop, do you know what Vinyl was like before you came to Ponyville?”

“From what I’ve gathered, she was impulsive and fun loving.”

“Impulsive is about right,” she said, “She did whatever she wanted with absolutely no regard for the consequences. One week she would stay inside her house tinkering with her fusion project, the next she would take a train to Canterlot and play at a club until she was physically incapable. She got… a bit better before you showed up, she stopped spending several days at a nightclub, but her schedule was still erratic at the best of times. Your coming to Ponyville has brought out the absolute best in her, but that’s all I am going to say. You really should discuss this with her though.”

“But what if…” I paused, doubt still eating at my mind, “You’re right, I should. Let’s just hope things don’t end disastrously.”

“I promise they won’t,” she said, “And if they do, I will let you stay in our room for the rest of the trip.

“Correction,” I said as I slowly got out of the jacuzzi, “You will let Vinyl stay in your room for the rest of the trip, although… Wait, I suppose neither of those options are viable since Vinyl is supposed to stay in ear shot of me at all times.”

She smiled as she followed me out, “Then I guess things just can’t end terribly. Trust me on this, you really do bring out the best in her.”

After that, our conversations meandered through a variety of topics, and Bon-Bon detailed all the adventures she went on with Lyra that led her all across the width of Equestria. To hear her describe it, her unexpected sojourns were quite pleasant, though I can’t imagine any time spent in the Frozen Wastes could be that appealing, nor do I imagine taking unexpected leaves of absence helped her with her confectionary business. Then again, Ponyville is not a town I would associate with order or any sort of sane schedule, so perhaps leaving for a month at the drop of the hat is standard there.

Bon-Bon next informed me of all the little rumours circulating in Ponyville and abroad, and we both enjoyed being pampered for a few more hours. She really does make a lovely contrast for Lyra, being stable and practical as opposed to Lyra’s eccentricity and volatility, but like she said, they balance each other.

We then went about preparing for Bon-Bon’s surprise engagement, getting the hoofband from the bottom of her saddlebag, storing it safely in our bar, and going to meet Lyra at the library. She was still studying, and the space around her was flooded with notes describing a variety of obscure and presumably non-existent connections between humans and ponies.

“Hey,” Lyra said, not bothering to look up from her readings, “How was your spa day? Was it fun? I bet it was fun.”

“Oh, it was great,” Bon-Bon said, sitting next to her marefriend and soon to be fiance, “It was nice finally having a chance to talk with Octavia one-on-one, and the fact that there was a spa involved was a nice bonus.”

“Ooh,” Lyra said, “Did you say stuff about me? Was it good stuff? Please don’t tell me you mentioned the time when I-”

She was cut off as Bon-Bon kissed her on the cheek, “We only talked about how wonderful you are, dear.”

“Huh, that makes sense,” Lyra said, finally closing her books, “I am pretty wonderful and stuff. Anyways, lets go see Vinyl rock the cruise ship.”

Lyra spent a few more minutes organizing all of her papers and storing them in her saddlebags before we headed off. She was surprisingly meticulous when it came to sorting and storing her anthropology notes.

“Hey Bonnie,” she said as we headed towards Rainbow Road, “Do you think we should get some cocktails or-”

She stopped speaking and suddenly glanced over at my direction. “Juice, we should definitely have juice. Obviously… why would we even want alcohol? Who would drink that.”

“It’s alright,” I said as we found an area of Rainbow Road to sit at, “You can drink as much as you want, I just can’t because it interferes with my medication.”

“Oh, right, I know that,” Lyra said, still backpedaling with all her might, “I just think… What if seeing us drinking alcohol and having fun makes you wish that you were having fun.”

“Believe me,” I said as we joined a gathering crowd of ponies, “After my experience four nights ago, I don’t think I will ever associate alcohol with fun again.”

“Alright,” she said, “I am going to go get our usuals. Do you just want water Tavi?”

“Seltzer water with lemon if they have it,” I said.

Lyra screwed her face up in disgust, “Really? I didn’t know ponies actually drank that straight.”

“I don’t,” I said, “I drink it with a lemon slice.”

“But it’s so disgus-”

She stopped talking as Bon-Bon flashed her a look, that I consider myself rather fortunate not to have seen in full. “Right, seltzer water with lemon, that is totally cool. Even if literally any other drink in Equestria would taste better,” she said as she headed off towards the bar.

Bon-Bon cleared her throat after a few seconds, “I feel like I should apologize for Lyra, she has… sometimes she gets so wrapped up in what she thinks, she forgets other ponies have valid opinions as well. I get why of course, no matter how well researched her theories are, every scholarly publication has sent back a very unkind rejection letter. The only reason she perseveres with her studies is because she can be so bullheaded that she ignores her detractors. Sometimes, that instinct comes out when it’s not needed though.”

I nodded my head in thought, “That makes a surprising amount of sense, did you ever try to convince her that humans aren’t real?”

“All the time,” she said laughing, “At least, when she first started her research I did. Now I’m… You’re going to make fun of me for saying this, but she’s convinced me enough to be open to the possibility at least.”

“However did she do that?” I asked, letting out a mock gasp.

“Research,” she said, “Finding all the little details in Equestrian life that didn’t quite make sense, pointing out how many items in Equestria just don’t work unless they were designed by humans, and pointing out all the species in the world that had humanoid characteristics. She had an absolute field day when Iron Will (No idea what that is) came to town.”

She put a hoof up before I could respond, “I’m not saying that I am a die hard believer in humans, but if they showed up, I wouldn’t be too terribly surprised.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” I said after a long pause, “I admit that I have my own personal issues when it comes to humans. Whenever I hear of something that doesn’t strike me as proper, I tend to dismiss it out of hoof. I’m working to fix that now, but it’s difficult.”

“Understandable,” she said, “And for what it’s worth, I think you are improving. You’ve started dating a DJ, you’re getting out under your parent’s shadow, and I can see that you are really working not to judge Lyra for her peculiar interests. Why, you were the only pony in our group who was willing to talk to Trixie and have her explain herself. Thanks for that, by the way, it turns out she isn’t as terrible as the town originally thought.”

“You’re welcome,” I said as I saw Lyra returning with our drinks, “Do you mind if I take a seat towards the back of the…” I struggled to come up with an accurate word to describe the concert venue, “Road? I would prefer it if I didn’t have my eardrums blown out when Vinyl started playing.”

“Oh!” Lyra said as she passed us our drinks, “Thanks for reminding me.” Her horn glowed three times and I felt the tell-tale tickle of magical energy in my ears.

“Do you mind telling me what you just did?” I asked, taking a sip of my seltzer water.

“Right, it’s a sound dampening spell so our hearing won’t be damaged by her performance AND it’s a kind of sound amplification spell so the three of us will be able to hear each other perfectly.”

“That’s… Remind me to bring you with me the next time I go to one of Vinyl’s shows.”

“Or I can just cast it before you leave,” she said cheerfully, “It’s one of the spells I crafted for my doctoral project on music magic before I decided I should try to get a doctorate in something important, like proving the existence of humans.”

I paused, trying to process the recent revelation, “Are you… saying that you could have gotten a Ph.D in… What were you going for again?”

“Well, my big project was to craft a spell that could allow ponies to go to a concert or club without risking hearing loss AND still be able to talk to each other without disturbing ponies who were focusing on the show. I crafted the spell but abandoned the project in favor of anthropological research before I could work the enchantment into a building.”

“Pardon me for saying this,” I said as calmly as I could, “But are you out of your mind?” I paused, trying to collect my thoughts, “I understand that you love your research on humans, and for what it’s worth I think you might, MIGHT, be on to something, but why would you abandon such a useful project? Couldn’t you have gotten your Ph.D and then started your research on humans.”

“Well… yeah,” she said, looking at the floor and frowning, her ears drooping while the look on her face made me feel like I had just told a foal there was no Santa Claus and that because her parents had died in a tragic carriage accident she shouldn’t be expecting any gifts this year, “But I wanted to do something important, something that changed the way ponies thought of the world. To not only know that there were worlds beyond ours with intelligent life, but also know that we had been visited by them in our ancient past. I…” She sniffled, “This just felt so much more important than noise cancellation/amplification spell.”

“Hey,” Bon-Bon said, nuzzling her marefriend’s cheek, “Your work is important. Think of all the progress you have made in the last few years. Yes your noise cancellation spell would have been wonderful, but if you want to pursue anthropology for your Ph.D then you should. It’s better to have the doctorate you want than do something just for a doctorate.”

“She is right,” I said slowly, “I was just surprised that you were going for a Ph.D at all, and the fact that you were so close to earning one before abandoning your work in favor of a less certain avenue of research surprised me. Forgive my rudeness, it was not my intent to upset you.”

Her ears immediately perked back up and a smile returned to her face, “It’s alright, I get told I am crazy all the time, and it doesn’t really faze me anymore, but the choice to abandon my musical spellcrafting in favor of anthropological research was a bit of a toughie, and I guess you made me doubt some of my decisions there for a bit. Thanks for encouraging me to keep up my hard work Bonnie,” she facing her marefriend and planting a kiss on her cheek.

Bon-Bon smiled wanly, “Of course dear. I am happy to help.”

The three of us watched as the stage crew continued to raise the towers of loudspeakers higher and higher until they eventually reached the ceiling, at which point they went to work constructing another tower. By the time they were finished, there were eight columns of speakers next to the stage as well as the myriad of speakers (amps?) surrounding Vinyl’s turntable. Around nine, the lights dimmed and Vinyl took the stage, now clearly in her DJ-P0N3 ponysona.

“Are you ponies ready to party?” She said, her voice amplified by a thousand speakers. Around us, ponies cheered enthusiastically.

“What’s that? DJ-P0N3 can’t hear you.” I am still surprised she didn’t realize Trixie was using a stage persona considering the fact that she has the exact same schtick. The crowd was substantially louder this time.

Vinyl levitated several vinyls to her turntable and the speakers blasted out whatever song she had put on. “Then let’s… drop the bass.” Suddenly the speakers blared with an absolutely awful cacophony and the ponies in the audience began to dance.

I’ve already described my thoughts on Vinyl’s performances previously, but this time she moved like a mare possessed, the light reflecting off her goggles with a fiery intensity. Most importantly, where her previous performances had ebbed and flowed allowing ponies to catch their breath, each song she played now was louder and more aggressive than it’s predecessor.

“What’s going on?” I asked after some time, “This doesn’t seem like her usual style.”

Lyra nodded, “She used to play like this when she was just starting out, but for the last few years she has been pretty good about not acoustically assaulting the audience, except… Hey, Tavi, do you think Vinyl might be upset about something?”

“I’m not sure, she could still be harboring some resentment about my actions a few days ago, but if so she’s done a splendid job hiding it.”

“That would explain it,” Bon-Bon said, “Vinyl uses her music as a sort of way to work through her emotions and when she starts to play, all of that shapes her music. So if she was angry about something a few days ago, that will bleed into what songs she chooses to play.”

“So… what you’re saying is that until she has had time to express herself through music all that anger will just be festering in the back of her mind even if she doesn’t feel angry anymore?”

“Yeah, don’t you do the same thing?” Lyra asked/shouted over the music. Despite her spell, the music was beginning to drown us out.

“I suppose my musical preferences do tend to reflect my emotional state and but I’ve never gone this loud before.”

“Well duh,” Lyra said, “You’re a cellist. Vinyl is a DJ. Her calm and soothing is probably louder than you playing in a blind rage.”

“I don’t actually play in a blind rage, even if I am absolutely livid when I start playing, a few minutes with my cello tends to calm me down.”

“That’s my point! Now imagine you played to excite a pony’s passions, what do you think would happen if you took the stage and were just mildly annoyed about something? Vinyl’s first really successful performance happened when she was livid about being bumped to opener. Since then she has put all of her emotions into her music, and right now she’s processing all that anger from when you got drunk a few days ago.”

“So what does that me-” I started to ask before Vinyl spoke, her voice filling the entire venue.

“Alright party ponies, it’s time to tell your friends that you saw DJ-P0N3 perform her signature move. It’s time to experience… the double bass drop.”

I had enough time to see Lyra and Bon-Bon plug their ears and follow suit before a shockwave knocked everypony in the crowd off their hooves and caused the lights and windows to shatter before the speakers finally sputtered into silence.

When I regained my senses some seconds later, the place was pitch black and ponies were beginning to panic while I tried to assess the situation. For the first time in days, the floor wasn’t vibrating at all, which could only mean-

“The power’s out!” Somepony screamed as I reached the same conclusion, “That crazy mare overloaded the generators.”

“We’re all gonna crash!”

“I’m too young to die!”

“Oh Celestia, if I ever get out of this I’ll never go to a concert again.”

While we weren’t in any danger yet, a herd of panicked ponies could quickly make a bad situation worse, especially when they turned their attentions towards Vinyl. As if on cue, I heard a voice in the crowd yelling that if they were going down then the DJ should hit the ground first. For anypony reading this, there are two things in life you should never mix, drugs and alcohol and stupidity and anger.

“Lyra,” I said trying to hide my panic, “Would you please cast a voice amplification spell on me?”

She didn’t say anything, but I immediately felt the tingle of magic around my throat. “Alright everypony,” I said as authoritatively as I could, “Be quiet and sit down.”

Almost immediately, the room grew quieter and I took the opportunity to continue. “First of all, this is a rigid airship. Even IF the generators are off, we are in no danger of crashing. At worst we will just float through the air while the crew works on repairing the generator, so let’s not talk about throwing ponies overboard. Second of all, the Valiant was designed to handle rogue lightning strikes, disabling the generators temporarily, so backup generators were installed capable of keeping the ship running at reduced capacity for twelve hours. I can assure you that they will be starting up momentarily.”

As if on cue, the floor began to vibrate again and the few emergency lights that didn’t shatter flickered on. I felt like adding that if plummeting to our deaths was at all similar to being hurtled against a wall at great speed then it was probably one of the more pleasant violent deaths we could reasonably expect before deciding that bit of news wouldn’t have the calming effect I was aiming for. “Now then, let’s go back to our rooms and have a good night’s sleep, everything will be fine in the morning.”

After that, the crowd slowly began to disperse and I felt Lyra cancel her spell. “Well then,” I said, facing my friends, “Shall we go back to my stateroom? I’m sure Vinyl will be along after she has a talk with with some cruise personnel.”

The other two nodded mutely and followed as I trotted back to my stateroom. “Wow,” Lyra said after a pause, “I didn’t know you were such a diplomancer, although now that I think about it, I can totally see it.”

“Diplo-what now?” I asked, utterly confused by her statement.

“It’s a term from our Mazes & Monsters game. It refers to a character who prefers to talk her way past encounters as opposed to fighting them,” Bon-Bon helpfully filled in.

“Speaking of,” Lyra said, “We totally haven’t played in forever. We need to fix that like… right away.”

“Let’s wait until we get back home,” Bon-Bon said, “I’m sure none of us packed our rulebooks.”

“Actually,” Lyra said, smiling far too enthusiastically for my tastes, “I brought a few with me in case a game broke out at Anthro-Con, but we could totally play here.” Thank Celestia, I would have a chance to play a game for foals and mare-children aboard Equestria’s premiere cruise ship. Lucky me.

“Perhaps we should wait until tomorrow so Vinyl can be with us and we are rested up,” I said, hoping that the delay would allow Lyra’s rapid-fire mind to fixate on other interests. I shot Bon-Bon a conspiratorial look and she nodded her head.

The three of us entered my stateroom and spent the time talking. Thankfully, our stateroom had a fully stocked kitchen and Bon-Bon took the opportunity to prepare a very late dinner for us. After sampling her meal, I am pleased to say that her culinary talents expand well beyond confection making and I think that the next time I feel like having a gourmet meal, I will just see if Bon-Bon wouldn’t mind having us over for dinner.

Several hours later, Vinyl finally walked into the stateroom, her head hung low. “Well then,” Bon-Bon said, “Since you are back I suppose Lyra and I should be heading off to our own rooms, have a good night.”

“Come on, I can go to my room in like five minutes and bring back my rulebooks. Let’s burn the midnight oil with a little M&M. It will be fun.”

“Lyra,” Bon-Bon said, “Let’s give Vinyl and Octavia a chance to talk, we can play in the morning.”

She sighed before heading towards the door. “Alright, have a good night you two.”

Vinyl blinked, her goggles now hanging around her neck, “Does she really want to play M&M on a cruise?”

I nodded, “Yes, yes she does. Are you really surprised at this point.”

“I suppose not,” she said before looking up at me, “And uhmm… thank you for calming the crowd for me. You saved my flank for a second time.”

“It’s fine,” I said, shrugging, “If I didn’t speak up, then somepony else would presumably have. I doubt that an entire crowd of ponies could have forgotten how rigid airships work.”

Vinyl laughed, “You’d be surprised, a few more minutes and they would have been set to throw me overboard.”

“By that time the back-up generators would have powered on and reason would have prevailed. I didn’t really do anything special, it’s not like what you’ve had to put up with the last few weeks.”

“Tavi,” Vinyl said, frowning, “Just stop it. When I needed help, you supported me without a second thought. You did it during Nightmare Night, and you did it again tonight. Yeah, I probably wouldn’t have been thrown overboard, but the second somepony mentioned it, you were there to calm them down, and that’s what a relationship is about. We go through life and support each other when the other needs help. We don’t do it because we are obligated, we do it because we care about the pony in question, and we’ve got that down pat.”

“But… you’ve just done so much for me the past few weeks, and I am worried that the only reason you’ve stuck around is because you feel partly responsible for what happened Nightmare Night.”

She sighed and sat down, “Yeah, I thought about that too, and I guess I do feel responsible. Like, you wouldn’t have put your neck on the line if it wasn’t for me, so it would be kind of not cool of me to abandon you during the fallout-”

“You see,” I said, “That is what I’ve been afraid of, that the only reason we are still together is because you feel guilty and… if that’s the case, I would prefer it if you left. I don’t want to be a burden.”

“Would you let me finish,” she said, “Yeah, I feel responsible, but that doesn’t mean the only reason we are still together is because I feel guilty. If the events of Nightmare Night had happened and I was completely blameless, I would still be helping you because I hate seeing you suffering. Did you save my flank out there tonight because you felt you somehow owed it to me? If, in your head, we were completely square, would you have just sat back and watched as the crowd debated on throwing me overboard?”

“Of course not! I spoke up because I care about you, it didn’t matter that dealing with me the last few days is what led to that particularly ill-advised double drop bass-”

“Double bass drop,” she said, correcting me.

“Yes, that, what mattered was…” I trailed off, finally getting her point.

“See,” she said, climbing into our bed, “Debt doesn’t matter. Not in the heat of the moment, certainly not when you are trying to make a healthy relationship.”

“Alright,” I said, laying down next to her, “But I don’t want to take advantage of your kind nature without offering anything of value in return.”

Vinyl smiled, “That’s good, because that’s not the type of mare I’d want to be in a long-term relationship with.”

“Hmm,” I said, tapping my chin and mulling over her words, “How did you get to be such a relationship expert?”

She laughed and leaned in to kiss my cheek, “Lots of bad ones, most of them my fault. Now let’s get some sleep, I’m pretty sure Lyra wasn’t kidding about that M&M game tomorrow.”

Vinyl was right, she wasn’t. I won’t include the details of the game here other than to say that it took up most of our daylight hours, and that I actually found myself enjoying the game despite the fact that I was on Equestria’s premier cruise ship and could have been doing pretty much anything else. I suppose there is a lesson in there about how spending time with friends can make even the worst experience enjoyable, but such a sentiment strikes me as far too saccharine to ever voice aloud.

After spending over half of our day exploring the world of “Middle-Earth” and doing some silly quest involving a ring and a mountain that we were barely a part of, we decided to break for the day, and eventually decided to meet up later that evening so they could see one of Trixie’s shows without it being interrupted by hecklers and so I could properly apologize for my atrocious behavior earlier that week. It was not something I looked forward to, but at least I’d get to see a magic show beforehoof, that was… something, I suppose.

To Trixie’s credit, the show was well done. She interacted with the crowd, had some volunteers come and test her magical acumen (Vinyl informed me that the last time she did that, she was far less friendly), and succeeded in creating the illusion that she was a powerful wizard capable of bending the rules of space and time to her will. She made creatures appear out of thin air, created an army of duplicates of herself, and then managed to make them all turn into flowers in the blink of an eye. I must admit my ignorance on the subject as I am not sure how much was just visual trickery and how much was magic.

When the show finally ended and the spectating ponies burst into applause, Trixie announced she would be signing autographs, and Vinyl prodded me to go and talk with her. Very reluctantly, I agreed.

Thankfully (or unfortunately), the line wasn’t too long and I soon found myself approaching the powder blue mare. “How can the Great and Powerf-” Her well practiced flourish dropped as recognition entered her eyes, “Oh, it’s you.”

“It is,” I said, nodding my head, “I wanted to apologize for my atrocious behavior the other day. I was… apparently alcohol and my medications don’t interact well with each other.”

“Really?” She asked, “In my experience most doctor’s would tell you not to mix them with alcohol.”

“They did,” Vinyl said, “Well, they told me and I kind of forgot.”

“Anyways,” I said, trying to bring the conversation back on topic, “I wanted to apologize and offer my sincerest apologies. Such a break in proper etiquette is quite unlike me.”

She nodded her head, “I can understand doing things you later regret while being influenced by an outside force. Consider your apology accepted.”

“That…” I let out a sigh of relief, “I must say, that was easier than I expected. I feared you would be rather-”

“Petulant? Reluctant? A year or so ago, I would have been, but I like to think the Great and Powerful Trixie has learned from her mistakes.”

“Yeah, so…” Vinyl said, trying to think of something to say. “Sorry again about running you out of town twice.”

“It’s alright,” she said, “I deserved it the second time, and I’ve grown to accept the first time.”

“Huh,” Vinyl narrowed her eyes, “Are you the same mare who came to our town four years ago?”

“Not at all,” she said, “Nor am I the same mare who tried to take over Ponyville over a year ago. Thankfully, I met somepony who helped me get over myself, so to speak.”

“Now, if you will excuse me, there are several adoring fans behind you and I would hate to disappoint them.” She smiled magnanimously and an adoring little filly walked up next to her and asked for her autograph.

“Was that so hard?” Vinyl asked as we walked away.

“Surprisingly not,” I said, “And by the way, she seems far nicer than you initially described her.”

She shrugged, “Well, she was far nicer than when I originally met her, so I guess that’s pretty fair. Anyways, what now?”

“I was thinking we could go back to our room and spend some time with Lyra and Bon-Bon. We actually discussed it during our spa day, and I think they would appreciate the view.”

Vinyl nodded at that, “Could be fun, a nice quiet kind of low key evening after-”

“After you temporarily deafened everypony in a five mile radius.”

“Yeah, pretty much,” she said, trying not to smile, “The bars in Rainbow Road still haven’t recopened yet, and I know I forgot to mention this last night, but they aren’t going to pay me a single bit after that.”

“I would have been surprised if they did actually. In fact, I am still surprised they aren’t making us pay for damages.”

“Oh, they are totally,” she said as we walked to our room, “Or more accurately, they are charging the account that paid for our room, which means…”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, “Princess Luna is going to get a bill for damages in the next few days?”

“Yep.”

“Wonderful, I do so look forward to explaining that little unexpected expense to my employer.”

“Oh come on, Tavi,” Vinyl said, “Luna will probably be super chill about the whole thing, I mean, she’s so rich she makes your parents look like us.”

“It’s not that,” I said, frowning, “It’s that I feel like I am taking advantage of her generosity. How much work have I done on the orchestra in the last few days? The last few weeks even? Ever since Nightmare Night, Royal Riff has been doing most of the heavy lifting and I’ve been-”

“Recovering from an unexpected trauma trying to defend Equestria. I get where you are coming from, but it’s okay to take some time off.”

“Not when you have been hoofpicked by one of the princesses to do her bidding. Do you think Twilight Sparkle ever took a few weeks off?”

“Actually, she did. Like… all the time. In fact, her only real duties when she first came to Ponyville were to write letters about friendship, and that turned out pretty well for her.”

“But it’s just…” I sighed as we drew close to our door. “I don’t feel like I deserve any of this. Royal has done most of the heavy lifting and from what I’ve heard he has done a very good job organizing the orchestra in my absence.”

“That’s true,” Vinyl said as she turned our combination lock to the right code, “But do you really want to lead an orchestra or do you just want to play your cello? Maybe you were just meant to get the ball rolling before doing something else or maybe all of that orchestra stuff was just a pretext to get you to Ponyville so you could do something even cooler. Who knows?”

“That’s,” I paused as we entered our stateroom, “I suppose it merits some thinking about.”

As I spoke, I suddenly became aware of a presence behind me and turned around to see Lyra standing behind me. “How did- What are you doing here?”

“You invited me and Bon-Bon over tonight, at least, I think it was tonight? Did I get the date wrong or did I get so wrapped up in my studies that I totally skipped a day again. If so, I am so sorry for forgetting last night.”

I shook my head, “No, it’s fine, you just snuck up on me.”

“Oh, sorry then, Bon-Bon should be here soon, she was just getting some items from her room.”

As Lyra spoke, I spotted the familiar cream-colored mare walking down the hall, the tops of several bottles of wine peaking out above her saddle bags.

“Hey,” Vinyl said, “You planning a romantic picnic tonight or-”

She was suddenly cut off as my elbow rammed into her chest. “Oops,” I said as Vinyl shot me a look of annoyance, “There must have been some turbulence of some sort, how unfortunate.”

Thankfully, Vinyl quickly took up the hint that this was not something to be discussing and I could practically see the gears in her brain turning. “Anyways,” I said, “Should we head to the hot- jacuzzi.”

“You know Tavi,” Vinyl said as she entered our suite, “You can just call it a hot tub, you don’t always have to use the bigger fancier word.”

“I know,” I said as I tentatively dipped one hoof into the jacuzzi, “But I have a deep and profound dislike for the word tub.”

“Really?” All three of them asked, following me into the tub.

I nodded, “The word just doesn’t sound right to me, it is so… ugly and unmelodious. It sounds wrong at a very fundamental level, and so I refuse to use it. Hopefully other ponies will do the same and the word will fade from all usage.”

“So then…” Lyra paused, considering her next question carefully, “What do you call a bathtub?”

“I call it the bath or the shower if applicable.”

“Huh,” Vinyl said, “Are there any other words that you have blacklisted?”

“Plenty, but I don’t think I will say them here because unless I have missed my mark, you three will be teasing me about this all night.” For instance, an astute reader will notice that I never once used the word blimp in my writings unless somepony else said it. This most recent revelation should explain why.

“She’s right,” Vinyl said, looking at the other two, “If we get the whole list from her now, then we might use up all our good jokes in one night. This way we can torment her indefinitely.”

I rubbed my forehead, “Is there any situation where you all don’t hold this over my head for the rest of my life?”

“Nope,” Lyra said far too cheerily, “This is pretty much a no-win scenario for you. Technically, I suppose you could kill everypony who knows your secret, but I think that would probably be a bit excessive, and plus you’d go through the rest of your life without your three best friends.”

“Yes,” I said, slowly, “I believe that would be a bit extreme. Thank you for pointing out why that would be wise.” I would question what type of mare would think of murder as a solution so quickly, but then I can’t be too hypocritical when my default response to most threats is to try and punch them.

“Anyways,” Vinyl said, looking at Bon-Bon and grinning oh so slightly, “How do you like the tub?”

“The tub? Oh, you mean the hot tub? Well, as hot tubs go, I think this hot tub is pretty nice. In fact, I can’t recall a nicer hot tub.”

“Yeah!” Lyra said, joining in, “I wish our room had a hot tub, I mean, is there anything in Equestria better than a hot tub?”

The rest of the night went on like that for some time, with the conversation only occasionally steering away from jacuzzis and baths. It even got to the point that I brought up humans just to distract Lyra. Celestia help me, I did what I had to do to stay sane. After a while, I caught Bon-Bon winking at me, and I quickly took the hint to make myself and Vinyl scarce.

“Vinyl dear,” I said, kissing her on the cheek, “I found a book in our library the other day that I think you might be interested in. We should really go look at it now.”

“You two have a library?” Lyra asked, shooting out of the tub in an instant, “Where is it? Does it have any books on humans?”

I chastised myself for my terrible diversion. Considering the fact that I had two days to prepare a plausible sounding excuse there really was no forgiving it, and while we are on the topic of things I should have done, I should have told Vinyl of the plan in the first place.

“No books on humans,” I said, getting out of the jacuzzi and gesturing for Vinyl to follow me, “I… you wouldn’t be interested in any of the books in the library, and…” I sighed, “I need to have a private talk with Vinyl for a few minutes.”

“Got it,” she said, winking at me, “You and Vinyl need some ‘private’ time. Alone. Surrounded by books. Could that be any hotter?”

Bon-Bon, if you ever read this, I want you to know just how hard it was to stick to the plan after you spent an entire night teasing me over the t-word and then having to deal with Lyra making some very lewd insinuations, so just remember how good a friend I was this night if I ever ask you for a future favor.

“So,” Vinyl said as I closed the library door, “What did you want to talk about?”

“Nothing,” I said, “I just wanted to give our two friends some alone time. You know, the two friends who have been dating for years.”

“If they wanted alone time, they could have gone to their own room.” Vinyl said, completely oblivious to all of my subtle hinting.

“Vinyl, why did I agree to go to Anthro-Con in the first place?”

“Because you wanted to be there for our friends when Bon-Bon pro- Oh. I get it now.”

“Finally,” I said taking a seat at the table in the middle of the room, “So I suppose now we just wait.”

“How long do you think it will take?” She asked, sitting next to me.

“If I was planning the engagement, I would say a half an hour. First it would take a few minutes to get the conversation on an appropriate topic, about twenty minutes of suitably romantic conversation, then about five minutes to give the speech I had prepared before finally asking the mare in question to marry me.”

“Wow,” she said, rubbing the back of her neck, “Good thing you aren’t proposing then.”

“Not today,” I said, smiling slightly.

“Oh, wow,” she said, suddenly sitting up straight, “You would actually be up for that? I mean, I know it could happen but…”

I laughed, ‘Vinyl, our third date involved me escorting you to the middle of a spooky forest so I could beat up monsters and save you. It didn’t work out quite like I had planned, but at the same time I don’t think our relationship is on the same timetable as everypony else’s.”

“That’s true, going to the forest and beating up monsters is really more of a fifth date activity. So… do you wanna?” She tilted her head and gestured towards the door.

“With a proposal like that, absolutely not, and more importantly, I don’t want to steal Lyra and Bon-Bon’s moment. This is their night, we can wait a few more months.”

“Sounds good,” she said, leaning in to kiss me. I’m afraid after that, my sense of time got a bit… let’s call it unfocused, but I was finally brought back to reality when a high pitched squeal came in from the other room.

“So,” Vinyl said, “Is that our cue?”

“I would give it thirty more seconds,” I said as I pulled out the bottles of champagne and fizzy grape juice Bon-Bon and I had stored in here the day previous as well as a four fluted glasses, “I would hate to walk in on them as they’re doing something private. Now help me pour.”

She nodded and poured three glasses of champagne and one glass of fizzy grape juice. “You two really planned this out didn’t you?”

“We have,” I said, grabbing my glass with one forehoof while Vinyl levitated the other three next to her.

“And you didn’t tell me because…”

“I would have, but there wasn’t the right time. It didn’t seem like an appropriate topic to bring up last night, and we spent most of today around Lyra.”

“Alright,” she said, stepping beside me.

“Now then,” I said after kissing Vinyl’s neck, “Are you ready to go out and congratulate the ponies of the hour?”

“Of course, they’ve been practically married for so long it’s weird for me to realize that they aren’t actually married. Might as well celebrate them taking the first step towards making it official.”

With that the two of us walked out into the main room, glasses at the ready to celebrate good things to come with our two best friends, and many hours later when the sun finally rose over Equestria, we were treated to one of the most magnificent sunrises I had ever seen.

It should go without saying that she said yes.

All Good Things... (Part 1)

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I would like to apologize for going so long without updating this journal. After returning from our vacation, things became exceedingly busy, and the time not spent practicing or dealing with the orchestra was… well, there really wasn’t any time outside of the orchestra as Vinyl would be more than happy to bring up, so I’m afraid that my journal writing fell by the wayside.

Now that I finally have some free time, I find myself in a rather strange predicament. I can either attempt to write down every last thing that has happened to me in the past month and a half, or I can save time and focus only on the events that left a profound impression on me. While a part of me would very much like to take the first option and describe in detail everything that has happened between my last entry and now, I feel it would be for the best if I took the shorter option. My hooves are sore enough after dealing spending the last four weeks playing the cello for almost every waking moment of my day and adding to their pain by writing an entry that could easily stand at forty thousand words strikes me as particularly ill-advised. Also, I am ashamed to say that I don’t actually remember everything that has happened in the last month or so.

After Lyra’s engagement and impromptu all-night party, the four of us spent most of our last day on the cruise sleeping wherever we had passed out. As final days go, it was rather anticlimactic, and when I was writing the last entry on the train ride back to Ponyville, I thought it better to end the story of our vacation on a high note as opposed to going on for a few extra paragraphs to detail the fact that after three of us got incredibly hammered, we did indeed have another couple of meals aboard the Valiant and that Vinyl decided to take a few souvenirs from our suite before we left. I love the mare, but sometimes I do not understand her at all.

When we finally reached Ponyville after a several day train ride (Las Pegasus is much farther away from Ponyville than Manehattan), the four of us groggily disembarked and headed back home, Vinyl carrying most of our luggage while I handled my cello As we approached our home, we saw that at some point during our absence, a small herd of animals had surrounded our house.

‘We leave for one week and something odd happens to our house,” I sighed, “Why am I even surprised anymore?”

“Because some part of you keeps hoping for the best?” Vinyl half-asked half-said, turning to face me and smile.

“I suppose it’s just my boundless optimism that keeps getting me into trouble. Shall we go see what is going on?”

Vinyl nodded and followed me as we headed towards the house when the animals suddenly turned to stare at us. “Ahh… the Deathbringer and Lifegiver have returned,” they said as one. “For generations we waited for you to come back to us so that we might show you how we have improved ourselves.”

“Oh… uh, hi Moldy, how’s it hanging?” Vinyl said, her expression fluctuating between worry and shock..

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her, “Your sentient mold… creature starts forming a gestalt entity and all you can ask it is ‘how’s it hanging?’” I turned to face the mold monster, “Moldy, what exactly are you doing?”

“While you were gone, we realized our understanding of ponydom was limited, and because of those limitations it would be difficult for us to interact with them. Therefore, it was decided we must start adding other entities to the collective so that we can assimilate and properly process their experiences. These creatures are what you would call a trial run, and we are pleased to report that the collective has absorbed their individuality.”

Oh wonderful, Vinyl and I had inadvertently created some sort of hive mind that wanted to absorb Equestria, I thought to myself as I imagined all the many terrible ways this could play out. “Have you considered how the creature’s you are… absorbing feel about this?” I asked as ponies on the street looked at the disturbance in front of our house. “Also, can we please continue this conversation indoors?”

“Of course,” it said as the door to the house creaked open of its own accord. “We await you inside.”

I leaned in and whispered to my marefriend, “If it starts trying to add us to it’s collective consciousness, we are running and informing Twilight so Celestia can rain solar flares down on our house, alright?”

Vinyl nodded as we followed the herd into the house, and I plucked a note off the door before storing it in my cello case. As we walked through the door, we saw a green blob bubbling it’s way down the stairs. I nodded my head at it, hoping to stay on it’s good side. “We are glad to see you again,” it said, attempting to form legs and a head before collapsing in on itself, “We have been busy while you are away.”

“I can see that,” I said, forcing a smile as Moldy’s black eyes bubbled up to the it’s surface before sinking back into the primordial mass that spawned them, “Would you mind telling me what exactly you have been doing?”

“We have been expanding. Bringing more entities in the collective consciousness so that they might experience unity and we might understand more of Equestrian society through their experiences.”

A hoof made of mold slowly emerged from it’s mass and pointed at the animals in our house, “These are the first additions. Through them, we have learned much about Equestrian biology and their simple programs have been preserved and added to the collective. We very much look forward to better understanding the programs and experiences of sapient beings.”

I suppose this is really my own fault for ever thinking there could ever be a day in Ponyville that wasn’t profoundly strange. “Might I ask how you intend to do that?” I said as politely as I could.

“Spores. We will launch spores into the air. Ponies will inhale them. The spores will grow and bring their individuality to the collective and both will be enriched. Through this, we will bring harmony.”

“Alright,”I said, taking a step away from the thing still slowly creeping down the stairs, “I noticed that at no point in your plan do you ask other ponies if they want to join your collective. That might be a key step you are overlooking.”

It paused in its descent, bubbling in thought. “The Lifebringer informed us that unity and harmony were key values in Equestrian society. Why would ponies ever turn down an offer that brings both? Would we not bring forth a new age of harmony? From our understanding, you and the Lifebringer seek to find perfect harmony with each other.It is within our power to grant you both that. Is this not the greatest good possible?

“Well, I didn’t mean you should go create some sort of… crazy hive mind.” Vinyl said, “That’s- Ponies wouldn’t like that.”

“Why?” It said, finally bubbling to the bottom of the stairs.

“Let me handle this,” I said, nodding to Vinyl before turning my attention back to Moldy. “Yes, ponies value harmony, and we try to reflect that in everything we do, but what you are talking about isn’t harmony. It’s tyranny. Harmony can’t be forced on somepony, it has to be earned, achieved. Harmony is desirable because ponies keep pursuing it, we work to make ourselves better, and in doing so make a better Equestria. If it was suddenly forced upon us, all of that self improvement would be lost.” Apparently I am amazing at talking down monsters with extemporaneous inspirational speeches. Huh. Perhaps Lyra was right and I am a diplomancer.

“We think we understand you. You argue that harmony is something to be pursued, not something to be given freely and by uniting all of Equestria under our collective, we would be destroying potential value gained in the pursuit of harmony?”

I nodded slowly, choosing my next few words carefully, “When Vinyl and I first met, we didn’t get along, but eventually, we learned to like each other and then love each other. If we had been born into your collective, we might have gotten along fine from the start, but our relationship would be much weaker now as a result.”

For a long moment, nobody spoke, with the only sound being the occasional gurgling coming from Moldy. “Ponies only value harmony when the individual is free to pursue it. By taking that choice from them, we do not advocate harmony. We will release these creatures and allow them to continue their lives.”

“Yes, before you do that though, could you bring them back outside? I would prefer not to have a dozen small animals suddenly regain control of their bodies in my house.”

“Agreed,” it said as the animals slowly walked towards the door, “We thank you for your instruction Deathbringer, we look forward to you teaching us more about life in Equestria and what is and isn’t appropriate.”

“Of course,” I said, smiling slightly, “Just try not to add any ponies to your collective.”

Moldy made a deep-throated gurgling noise, that might be mistaken for laughter by somepony who was severely intoxicated as several animals chattered outside. “They are released. Thank you for preventing us from making a mistake that might ostracize us from pony society.”

“Anytime,” Vinyl said, as I finally investigated the note on our door.

Dear Octavia,
I will be staying at the Prancing Pony Inn until you return from your vacation. I look forward to working for you again.
Sincerely, Woodhoof

“Oh, Moldy,” I said as the creature slowly tried to walk it’s way upstairs, “I hope you won’t mind having a roommate. He and I share a desire to make things tidy, so I am sure he will be happy to cleanse you whenever you want it.”

“This is acceptable,” it said as it reached the top of the stairs, leaving a green trail of ooze in it’s wake.

I walked towards the couch,“Wonderful, I am sure you will be the best of friends soon.”

As soon as Moldy went back to his room, I plopped down on the couch and let out a sigh of relief.

“You need some help, Tavi?” Vinyl asked, “That can’t be too comfortable having that cello strapped to your back. Want me to take it off for you?”

I weakly nodded my head, still processing what had just happened. “Vinyl, did I just talk your mold monster down from trying to absorb Equestria?”

She nodded as she used her magic to undo the straps of my cello case, “Yeah, it was pretty awesome. I should definitely let Luna know about that when we have our next chat, we will probably get another awesome vacation from the deal.”

“I really don’t think it’s that big an issue,” I said, resting my eyes as I felt the weight on my back vanish, “All I did was point out that some parts of it’s plan were incorrect. I don’t feel I deserve any commendation. Anypony could have done what I did.”

“Please,” Vinyl said, moving to massage my back, “Did you SEE how useless I was back there? You took care of things before they could get too bad and that is pretty awesome in my book.” She leaned in to kiss my neck, and my cheeks suddenly became quite warm..

“Thank you Vinyl,” I said, sighing happily as my marefriend proved to be quite adept at giving back massages.

“Like I said, no problem. Now what do you want to do for the rest of the day? I am thinking we-”

“Woodhoof.” I said.

Vinyl stopped her massage. “Look, I am all for being adventurous and stuff, but that sounds a bit too out there for my tastes.”

“No, not- Actually, I have no idea what you thought I was talking about, and I would very much like to remain ignorant on that subject. I was talking about picking up Woodhoof from the Prancing Pony.”

“Oh right,” Vinyl said as I rolled off the couch and got up to my hooves, “Guess we should bring him in and give him the grand tour.”

“Our house has eight rooms. I don’t think anything about it can be called grand,” I said as I walked towards the door, “Now I have no idea where the Prancing Pony is, so you will have to lead on.”

She nodded and took the lead, and I followed her through Ponyville’s streets until we finally reached the Prancing Pony. “It’s an odd name for an inn, isn’t it?” I said as we walked inside.

“Yeah, the owner intended for it to be a reference to something, but I don’t think anypony in town got it. Except Pinkie, she laughed for half an hour when she heard the name.”

“Of course she would,” I muttered as we walked through the inn doors to find a mostly empty main room with a few ponies sitting off in one corner.

“Excuse me,” I said, approaching the front desk, “I am looking for Woodhoof, could you please point me towards his room?”

“Room 203,” the stallion behind the desk said, pointing to the stairs.

I nodded at him in thanks before heading off to meet my oldest friend.

“Hello?” He said, slowly opening the door after I knocked on it, “Who- Oh, Miss Octavia, you have returned. I am so eager to start working for you.”

“Please,” I said, smiling, “I want you to enjoy yourself, you’ve spent a lifetime working hard, I think the least my family owes you is a few years of rest.”

His smile vanished in an instant, “While I appreciate the sentiment, I am a professional Miss Octavia, and I will not shirk my duties. I am upset that you think I would.”

“Of course,” I said, “I just wanted to show my appreciation for all your years of work since I am certain that my parents never would.”

“I know what you were trying to do, but I resent the implication that I am too old to do my job or need to be retired. I greatly enjoy my work and take satisfaction from serving other ponies adequately. While your parents and I disagreed on many things, the one thing they did that I whole-heartedly supported was never to assume that I couldn’t perform a task they had set out for me. I would ask you to follow their wisdom on that issue.”

I nodded my head in deference, “Of course Woodhoof, I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“It’s quite alright Miss Octavia, I have dealt with worse offenses, but I wanted to clarify things before they became a problem.”

“Should we head back home then?” Vinyl said, “I can carry your stuff for you, I am sure there is a lot.”

“No need,” he said, grabbing the strap of a nearby duffel bag and throwing it over his shoulder. “I am perfectly capable of carrying my own possessions.”

“Well yeah,” Vinyl said, rubbing the back of her neck, “But don’t you have more stuff? All that seems pretty light.”

“A good butler never packs more than he can carry or overburdens himself in any way. I brought a few personal effects and my bowties with me. I saw no reason to burden myself with anything else.”

“But don’t you have other stuff? I mean, I imagine that you’ve got a lot of stuff over your long- You have to own more than just a duffel bag full of stuff.”

Woodhoof and I shook our heads, “Most of my earnings have gone in to the bank to be saved for a rainy day, the only personal effects I allow myself are a few photo albums which I brought with me. Several of which detail Miss Octavia’s foalhood.”

“Sweet,” Vinyl said, “I bet you have plenty of embarrassing stories then?”

He nodded far too enthusiastically for my taste and I let out a small sigh as we headed back home. “So then, this is where you live,” he said as we reached the door to our house, “It seems like a perfectly fine dwelling. Certainly a refreshing change from my last house.”

“It is a bit smaller than your last home,” I said, opening the door.

“Not true, my last home was a small cell in the basement of your family’s estate. It’s hard to imagine a home smaller than that.”

“Well remember, you will be sharing a room with a sentient mold creature. He’s generally nice, but was a bit weird earlier this morning,” Vinyl said as we walked inside the house.

“By which she means that it intended to add all of Equestria to its collective consciousness a few hours ago. Thankfully, we managed to talk it down.” I paused, imaging how that sentence might sound to somepony who wasn’t intimately familiar with the daily details of our lives. “Things here can get rather strange sometimes. My best advice would be to just accept it.”

“We? I didn’t do anything but stand there, you did all the cool talking stuff,” Vinyl said, elbowing me playfully, “Don’t let her humility fool you, she probably neutralized a major threat to Equestria in like… less than five minutes.”

“Very good, Miss Octavia, I am very impressed. Now, on the subject of my living arrangement, this Moldy won’t try to… how did you describe it? Add me to it’s collective consciousness?”

“It shouldn’t,” I said, “And if it does then just let me know and it will be taken care of. Also, Moldy would appreciate it if you would occasionally if you would occasionally try to wipe it from the face of Equestria.”

Woodhoof’s lips slowly twisted into a smile and he nodded his head, “I believe I can do that, now if you will excuse me, I believe I should unpack.”

As he walked upstairs, I turned and kissed Vinyl’s neck before sitting down on the couch.

“Not that I am complaining, but what is that for?” She asked.

“For letting him use your old room. It’s… I am glad he is finally away from my parents.”

Vinyl laughed as she sat down next to me, “I think most ponies would be glad to get away from your parents.”

“True,” I said, smiling at her, “So what now?”

“Well, I was thinking we could have a nice little lunch at home. Nothing big you know, but it could be fun for everypony to talk and have Woodhoof get to know every pony.”

“That does sound pleasant,” I said, tapping my chin, “But there is absolutely nothing acceptable to eat at the house.”

“What are you talking about?” She said, kissing me on the cheek, “We have plenty of Trot-Tarts.”

I groaned, “Vinyl, I am not going to have Woodhoof eat Trot-Tarts for his first meal here. It’s bad enough he has to live with a sentient mold monster, but to subject him to Trot-Tarts… that’s just insult to injury.”

We had Trot-Tarts for lunch. Surprisingly enough, Woodhoof refrained from making disparaging comments. Instead, the four of us managed to have a perfectly pleasant conversation while eating Trot-Tarts. Of all the strange things that had happened to me in the past several weeks, a mold monster, my childhood butler, my marefriend, and myself sitting around a table, eating Trot-Tarts, and discussing our vacation struck me as the most surreal. Once we had finished eating, Woodhoof retrieved one of his photo albums and began to regale the three of us with tales of my foalhood. I have decided not to include those stories here to minimize future embarrassment.

The rest of the day was uneventful, and Vinyl and I were soon in bed discussing our vacation and what the future planned before falling asleep in each other’s forehooves. The next morning, with our vacation and unpacking officially over, it was time for us to resume work on the orchestra. The days passed quickly and almost every waking moment of mine was spent either practicing the cello or critiquing the other ponies in the orchestra. It is for that reason that I neglected my journal writing duties and am instead forced to catch up all at once, although I suppose this is marginally better than writing I practiced my cello this morning and then spent the afternoon and evening listening to a hundred ponies practice for the orchestra and critiquing them thirty times.

I will say that after my return, Royal Riff and I managed to get along and work together while dealing with the orchestra. I oversaw the practice most of the time while he worked on arranging all the details that I had never considered before, and we would discuss our progress with each other once a week. Once he got over being an insufferable jerk, he was actually quite pleasant, and I soon found myself counting him as a friend.

Pinkie Pie left the orchestra about a week after my return, saying that she had to get back to work at the bakery now that her role in the story was over. Sometimes I remember that I am related to that mare, and the thought absolutely terrifies me. Thankfully, I can keep the insanity I share with her in check most of the time. Mostly.

“We need to make sure other ponies won’t quit the orchestra before the performance,” Royal Riff said during one of our weekly luncheaons, looking through the notes on the orchestra’s performance I had written for him.

“Of course,” I said, having a sip of my seltzer water, “While Pinkie is a… friend of mine, we can’t afford to lose ponies so suddenly, especially with the Winter Moon Celebration just over a month away. I have taken the liberty of asking all ponies who want to leave to wait until after our first performance, and highlighting the high risk ponies in my report.”

He smiled, “You are wonderful Octavia, I suppose Luna put you in charge of this orchestra for a reason.”

“To be fair, I think the both of us count as co-founders now, and in truth, I still think you do most of the work.”

“Well, that wouldn’t have happened unless you talked me into actually working with you.” He flipped through the performance reports I had given him, “Now I have a rather important question for you, why is Vinyl Scratch performing so poorly? In your last three reports you ranked her at the bottom of all the orchestra players.”

I nodded, “I’ve been trying to be objective with my evaluation of her performance, and I feel her lack of classical training is affecting her ability to play.”

“Really?” Royal Riff said, “Because, pardon me for saying so, but I’ve been talking with Fiddlesticks and she says that Vinyl is playing just fine.”

I raised an eyebrow, “And you were talking with Fiddlesticks because?”

“Oh, she is a lovely mare and I like to think of her as a friend.”

“Just a friend?” I asked, recalling all their shared glances during the last few weeks.

“Well… uhmm, yes, of course. Any romantic fraternization between boss and employee would be quite unprofessional and jeopardize our objectivity. Which is actually what I wanted to bring up with you today. I know you and Vinyl are rather close. Are you sure your relationship isn’t compromising your ability to objectively rate her performance?”

“Of course,” I said, frowning at him over my meal, “If anything, I’m harder on her than I am on anypony else.”

“You do realize that that isn’t objectivity?” He said, “I suppose the argument could be made that it is impossible for any of us to be objective, but the fact that you are treating her differently than other ponies is problematic.”

“What are you suggesting?” I asked, swallowing a lump in my throat.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to say that you should break up with her or that you should resign, I just think that perhaps you should talk to her about it and work out a solution. If the problem persists, then we will talk about more severe options.” Was he the same stallion I found so insufferable just over a month ago? Amazing what a little time in Ponyville will do.

I nodded my head as our lunch concluded before walking back to the orchestra (We were still practicing in the town hall as it’s first floor had a nice empty space that could fit the entire orchestra. Unfortunately, several mayoral aides were less than pleased with this development).

I had gotten back early, and most ponies were still on their lunch break, leaving me alone with my marefriend. “Can I talk with you?” I asked as she continued practicing on her double bass.

“I don’t know,” she said, not bother to hide her frustration, “You already made me practice through lunch until I mastered this piece, and to be honest, I’m not really sure why. I’m hitting all the notes and I sound as good as everypony else, but...”

“That’s actually wanted to talk to you about that,” I said, not bothering to hide my frown.

“Save it,” Vinyl said, suddenly stopping her practice and levitating the double bass back to it’s case. “I quit.”

Before I could marshal a response, she had marched out of the building, leaving me absolutely stunned. As I walked towards the door to follow her and explain myself, the rest of the orchestra chose that exact moment to return. I wanted more than anything to follow Vinyl and explain myself to her, but if I did that, then I would be guilty of putting my own needs before the needs of the orchestra I was in charge of. Trying to mask my grimace, I nodded my head at the returning ponies, “Alright everypony, let’s resume our practice. We only have a month until our first performance, and I want everything to be perfect.”

The orchestra ponies moved to their designated spots while Princess Twilight took hers, and we practiced until sunset. If I was the type of mare to take half measures, I might have called our practice early so I could talk with my marefriend, but I am not and so I did not. Even if I desperately wanted to.

As soon as our daily rehearsal session ended, I sprinted back home as quickly as I could. “Vinyl,” I said, barging through the front door, “I am sorry for being so demanding…” I walked in as Woodhoof and Moldy were having some chips and hummus. Apparently while I had been working on the orchestra, Moldy learned how to keep an equine shape without turning into a pile of goo, which I suppose is a good thing? Maybe? At the very least, it had stopped trying to add other beings to it’s collective, so I count that as a victory for Equestria.

“Where is Vinyl at?”

They pointed upstairs. “In her DJ room,” Woodhoof said, “She has been there since she came in this afternoon and she seemed to be quite upset about something.” As he spoke a loud boom shook the room.

“I thought her work room was sound proof,” I said as I headed up the stairs.

“It is,” the other two nodded glumly, “You should probably go talk to her.”

The floor of the house shook with every throb of Vinyl’s bass, I tried knocking on the door but couldn’t even hear myself. Mouthing an apology to my eardrums, I opened the door. Vinyl stared at her turntable, so absorbed in her work that she didn’t even notice me walk into her room. Moving as quickly as I could to avoid any more permanent damage to my hearing. I tapped on her shoulder and she finally stopped her music (At some point I really need to research the technical terms for turntable so I can write about it without revealing my ignorance). “Back already?” She said, taking her goggles off and glaring at me, “I thought you were going to practice with the orchestra all night.”

I sighed and sat next to her. “Listen Vinyl, I am sorry for being so hard on you with the orchestra. That… I just wanted to show that I could be impartial. It’s important to me that the other ponies think of me as objective, and if they saw me giving special treatment to my marefriend they might resent me. You were fine though.”

Her expression softened as I spoke. “Yeah, you are kind of grueling. The other ponies thought you were being super hard on me and the other ponies generally just think of you as a slavedri- an inspiring leader. Also, I wasn’t that upset with you for being super critical of me.”

“Wait, slavedriver,” I said, figuring out what she almost said and raising an eyebrow, “How is expecting them to give their best being a slavedriver? And more importantly, if you were that upset with me, then why did you quit?”

Vinyl laughed, “First of all, you didn’t hear that from me, and second of all, I think most of them just wanted them to complain about the boss lady. I mean, you did work us like… twelve hours a day, six days a week, and that’s why I quit, because you’ve been working seventy-two hours a week.”

“I have to get them in shape for our first performance in a few weeks. I’ve spent the last month taking things slow, and now we just don’t have time for it,” I shook my head, “Luna is depending on me to make this orchestra be the best it can and that won’t happen by taking half-measures. Besides, I don’t ask them to do anything I can’t do. They put in twelve hours, I practice for sixteen, they work six days a week, I work seven.”

“That’s my point! You’ve been so busy with the orchestra, that I’m kind of feeling a little neglected. I know that it’s important to you, but would it be possible for us to spend some time together now and then?”

“We spend time together,” I said, trying to smile, “We spend twelve hours a day practicing together.”

“Yeah, time which you spend being super critical of me because you are afraid of being seen as playing favorites.” She narrowed her eyes slightly, enough to let me know that I was on thin ice, “Also, spending time practicing with a hundred other ponies isn’t exactly my idea of date night.”

“Fair enough,” I said, “Listen, come back to the orchestra. I realize I’ve made a few mistakes, and I promise I will do better in the future.”

She shook her head, “No, but thanks for offering.”

“What, why? I… are you still mad at me? Listen, I understand that you are upset, but the orchestra needs everypony it can get.”

“Tavi, I love you, but the orchestra doesn’t need me. I’m a DJ, spending all day playing the double bass isn’t my idea of a good time, and the orchestra isn’t short on ponies now, so I figured I could leave.”

“Then why did you make a big issue about me being too critical of you? If you were going to quit anyways-”

“Oh no, I was totally upset with you and I wanted to have this talk with you, so I guess I thought it would be a good way to take care of two issues at once,” she frowned, “Though I can see why you would get upset with me for being kind of manipulative.”

I paused and pursed my lips, “I don’t think I was ever that devious. I knew how to manipulate Pinkie Pie, and I could be rather… oblique about things, but I don’t think I ever…” I kissed her, “I am impressed.”

“Yeah, well with you getting all honest and expressing your feelings, I thought I might as well practice my ability to manipulate issues,” she smiled and laughed and I found myself joining her. “Guess we’re even?”

“Wait, the orchestra is going to go on tour after our first performance, what are you going to do then?”

She shrugged, “Probably stay home, visit you when I can. I mean, you are going to be too busy to do much beyond practice anyways, and I don’t like the idea of spending several months away from home.”

“We would be away from each other for quite a while,” I said, my lips slowly turning into a frown, “I suppose I was hoping that with you staying in the orchestra, we could avoid that problem.”

“Hey,” she said, pecking me on the cheek, “I can travel with you if you want, I mean those cities will need a DJ just as much as Ponyville does.”

“True,” I said, trying to smile, “But I don’t want to ask that of you? After all that you’ve done for me, it seems… I don’t know.”

She moved to rub my back with one hoof, “This’ll all work out, I promise and no matter what happens we will stay together.”

I nodded my head at that, now dedicating most of my mental energies towards developing the perfect solution to the problem. Not to sound like the sort of mare who absolutely needs her marefriend by her side at all times, but premier tour is slated to last ten months or five times longer than our current relationship. It was not something I wanted to endure.

“Hello, earth to Tavi, you here?’ For effect, my marefriend waved a forehoof in front of my face, suddenly gaining my attention.

“Yes, what? Sorry, I was thinking.”

“It’s alright,” Vinyl said, “You were just kind of staring off into space for like a minute. Care to tell me what’s on your mind?”

I shook my head, “Just trying to think of a better resolution to this so we both get what we want.”

“Well what do you want?” She asked, a look of concern on her face.

“That… I’m not sure. Travelling with the orchestra would be wonderful and a great career opportunity, but leaving you and,” I paused for a second as the enormity of what I was about to say sank in, “I like this town. The ponies here are friendly, I have a few social contacts, and in spite of everything that has happened to me since coming here, I am actually inclined to think fondly of it.”

“Yeah,” Vinyl said, nodding her head, “This town’ll do that to you. I think it actually took you longer than most to fall under it’s spell, though I guess that’s understandable considering all that’s happened.”

I got to my hooves and slowly staggered towards the door, my voice felt stiff and mechanical. “I need to think this over for a while. I will be in my room,” I turned my head back to look at Vinyl, “I promise I won’t let my work consume me as much in the future. You are right, we need to make time for each other.”

With that, I walked to our room, closed the door, and flopped onto the bed. Up until today I had assumed that we would be going to tour Equestria with the orchestra together, but now… the idea of leaving Ponyville and Vinyl for ten months wasn’t as comforting as it would have been even a few weeks ago. On the other hoof, touring with the Royal Ponyville Orchestra, no matter how laughable the name, was an idea career opportunity, and turning it down must be a form of madness. In this fashion, my mind turned and twisted in on itself until Vinyl finally came into our room during the early hours of the morning and wrapped her forelegs around me. For some reason, that small reflexive action was enough to calm my mind and allow me to sleep.

The next morning, I redoubled my efforts with the orchestra, although I did make sure to have lunch with Vinyl at least five times a week and take a few hours off on Saturday to spend time with her. It wasn’t much, and she didn’t complain, but if I could redo things, I would spend less time with my cello (A sentence I have never before written). I think, in hindsight, that my monomaniacal obsession with the orchestra was brought on by my conflict between Vinyl and the orchestra, but at the time my primary focus was ensuring the orchestra premiered without a hitch.

This continued for several more weeks, and if I had been a more cautious mare, I might have noticed that I had been allowed several weeks of relative normalcy and prepared for whatever the town had planned next, but I was so focused on my work that I completely ignored the growing feeling of impending doom. It was for that reason that I was completely and totally surprised when I was teleported from practice to a foal’s birthday party one day a few weeks before our performance.

I am sorry, was that a sudden announcement? Perhaps jarring and unexpected with absolutely no foreshadowing? Because that’s exactly how it felt to me to. One second, I was complimenting the orchestra on how far they had come, and the next myself and two other orchestra members were surrounded by screaming foals and compelled to keep playing our instrument.

After I managed to overcome my shock (Taking far less time than I would have thought possible two months ago), I noticed two things. The first was that the party was far too sophisticated for most children, and the second was that I was completely unable to stop playing or in anyway acknowledge my surprise. A quick test revealed that I was also unable to talk. Oh well, I thought with a resigned sigh that I was unable to physically express, at least I was being given a splendid opportunity to practice and nopony was currently bothering me.

Almost as soon as I thought up those words, I saw a pink blur in the corner of my vision. Of course Pinkie would be involved in this somehow. It would have been crazy if she wasn’t.“My party!” She shrieked, “I was gone for one minute and now the cake has been replaced with tiny pies and the band is replaced with- Oh, hi Octavia.”

With one smooth motion, her head swiveled around to face me, her eyes boring into my head, “Did you happen to see what happened here? Huh? Cause if you did that would be a big help to me.” As much as I would have liked to have done otherwise, I ignored her and continued playing.

She leaned her head in closer, “Won’t tell me, hey? Or maybe, can’t! Quick, blink three times if you are under an unknown magical compulsion that is forcing you to play the cello.”

Thankfully, I was still able to blink and quickly followed her command. Normally, I would go on a diatribe here wondering how she could possibly make the logical jump to me being under a magical compulsion because I failed to answer a question, but at this point, I would be less surprised if she didn’t. As soon as I had finished blinking, she wrapped her forelegs around me, “Oh Tavi, don’t worry we will figure out how to fix this right away. As long as there are no other strange magical anomalies I bet Twilight can get you fixed up right away.” On cue, the streets turned to gold.

Pinkie laughed nervously, “Or maybe you will have to wait a while. Do you want me to get Vinyl for you? Blink twice for yes.”

Blink. Blink.

“Got it! We will be back before you can say ‘Mad with power.’ Have fun playing the cello.” Of all the strange sanity-breaking things that have happened to me since coming to Ponyville, I have to say that being forced to play the cello was probably the most pleasant. A few minutes later, Pinkie had returned with Vinyl in tow.

“Told you we would be back before you could say ‘Mad with power.’ Now I’ve got to run and let Twilight know that there is a foal’s party that needs fixing, though judging by how quickly the entire town is turning into crystal, I think that might be a little low on her to-do list. Anyways, you two crazy kids have fun, Auntie Pinkie is going to make sure everything stays peachy.” Just like that, she vanished, leaving Vinyl and I to stare awkwardly at each other.

“So… Pinkie told me that you can only play the cello and blink. Is that true?”

Blink. Blink.

“I will take that as a yes then,” she gave me a devious smile, “Well, since I’ve got you here and most of the foals have left, I think we can do some testing on just how strong the compulsion is.” Before I could… Well, I couldn’t actually do anything, but before I could properly process her statement, she had kissed me. I kept playing the cello.

“Okay,” she said, pulling away, “Let’s try that again.” This time she wrapped her forelegs around me in an embrace while pressing our lips and bodies together, with the only thing separating us being the cello I still insisted on playing. To my credit, I still managed to play it flawlessly even when it was sandwiched between two mares. I don’t think that is physically possible.

“Wow,” she said after several minutes had passed, “That must be a pretty powerful compulsion you got hit with if you are still playing after all that. Most of them have a fail safe in the spell so a pony isn’t forced to act against their nature or do something they see as life threatening. Guess making out with me in public is in your nature, so that’s good to know.”

She sat in front of me and tapped her chin, “Now what can I do that you would never let me get away with if you could actually do stuff. I know! I can tell everypony in town about that little noise you make when we-”

“Don’t you dare,” I said. My cello playing stopped while I tried to decide whether I should be upset with Vinyl for even joking about mentioning that little detail of our personal lives or glad that she managed to break the compulsion.

She smiled at me, “And you’re welcome. Now that you can talk and stuff, do you have any idea why you were forced to play at the fanciest foal’s birthday party ever?”

I shook my head, luxuriating in the feeling of being able to move my own muscles, “Not at all, one minute I was talking with the orchestra, and the next I was here. Believe me, I am just as confused as you are. Also, thank you for freeing me.” Around us, several buildings turned to crystal.

“Well,” she said, “If I had to guess, it’s probably related with all the other weirdness currently going on in town. I mean, weird things aren’t that uncommon Ponyville, but two weird things going on at once is pretty much unheard of. Anyways, you want to get something to eat?” She asked before kissing me on the cheek.

I shrugged, “I suppose that wouldn’t be too terrible, I highly doubt the orchestra will be doing anymore practice until this issue gets sorted. Speaking of,” I turned to face the other two orchestra members afflicted by the compulsion. “If you can break free of your compulsion, I will give you the rest of the day off.”

They stopped playing almost immediately as I walked off with Vinyl. “Don’t you want to tell them to never repeat what they saw here or something so they don’t go tell the entire orchestra how much you love making out with your marefriend.”

“Not at all, threats of force are so very undignified. Besides, I know that my friends and coworkers would never consider publicly humiliating their friend and employer or doing anything that might make her cross with them. Certainly not if she had the power to make them work every day for a year.” I smiled at them, and the two stallions smiled back nervously.

When we got back to the house, Vinyl and I answered Woodhoof and Moldy’s questions about just why the house had suddenly transformed into a giant crystal with no warning. A few hours later, our house shifted back to normal as a familiar midnight blue alicorn walked into our house.

“Ah, Princess Luna, to what do we owe the honor?” I asked, bowing before her.

“I was merely in town helping clean up when I thought I would pay you and your friends a visit. I hope you do not mind.”

“Of course not,” I said, getting back up on my hooves, “Princess Luna, allow me to introduce you to my new roommates, Wood-”

“Woodhoof and the mold collective,” she said, finishing for me. Woodhoof had the good sense to bow while Moldy stared dispassionately at the princess, “I do apologize for ruining your surprise Octavia, but as my duties involve me defending the dreams of my subjects, I am quite familiar with most of my subjects. Even those whose dreams are unlike anything we had seen previous.”

“Ah,” Moldy said, nodding his head in acknowledgment, “It is your presence we feel inside the resting places of the collective consciousness. What is the nature of your intervention?”

Luna just smiled, “As I said earlier, I shield dreams from outside influences and when the need arises, I intervene. Most ponies never even know I was there.”

“While the nature of our consciousness gives us greater perception when it comes to detecting outside influences.”

“Yes,” she said, pausing in thought “Now that you mention it, your collective consciousness could be useful in helping me defend Equestria if you feel so inclined. It would help me greatly to have more eyes on the Nightmare Lands.”

Moldy tilted his head in thought for several seconds, “We believe we can assist in this task, though it would require a multiplication of our resources.” Great, I thought, the mold collective that wanted to absorb all of Equestria a few weeks ago was now being given a job defending it. Surely that couldn’t go wrong. Still, I wasn’t about to argue with the princess.

“We- I can cultivate a sample in the palace, if you promise those resources will go towards-”

“Yes, of course. We would multiply and you would gain a valuable asset in the defense of Equestria. We can provide you with a sample that will possess all our current knowledge, but from there the entity will be an independent collective, a requirement of the distances involved. Although if the new collective starts to become recalcitrant, we will be happy to speak with it and exchange information.”

“Agreed,” she said, “The Royal Botanist will be over in a few days to take a sample. Please do what you need to do.”

The princess turned to face Vinyl and I, “Now, on to less serious topics, how have you all been? Miss Scratch, I heard about your departure from the orchestra, I hope you have been faring well since then.”

“Yep,” my roommate said, nodding her head, “The orchestra was fun, but way too quiet. It’s nice getting back to my roots and focusing on the fusion project and playing gigs. Especially since Tavi is spending most of her days time doing orchestra stuff.”

Luna winked at me, “I hope you’ve still been taking time out to socialize with other ponies. Remember, your friends are just as important as your work.” It wasn’t the first time I had heard that, though it was the first time in months that somepony told me I needed to make friends. It was a small point of pride to me.

“Wait,” I said, recalling the events that had originally led me to Ponyville, “When I first came here, how did you even know that I needed to go out and make friends? We had only met once before the business with the orchestra, and I don’t recall my lack of social experience coming up during that discussion.”

“Well, you see,” she said, suddenly finding the ground fascinating, “The truth is-” Her ears suddenly perked up, “Oh listen to that, Twilight and Cadance need my help, I must go. We will talk later.” In a few hoofsteps she had stepped outside our house and flown off into the distance.

“Did she seem particularly evasive to you?” Vinyl said, as I walked to look out the front door.

“Actually, no,” I said after a pause, “The last time I mentioned a similar topic to her, she flew off as well. At this point I have decided that no matter what is going on, things have worked out for the best.” I kissed her cheek to make my point.

“Yeah,” she said as we walked back to Moldy and Woodhoof, “Things did work out pretty awesome for you. Still, I wonder what caused all the buildings in town to get turned into crystal? We usually have a pretty clear resolution to these things.”

The answer to that question came early the next morning when somepony knocked on our door a few minutes before sunrise, while I was still working on grooming myself. “Hello?” I said, rubbing sleep from my eyes as I opened the door, “You will have to forgive me, I haven’t had time to properly groom myself yet.”

“Perfectly understandable, dear,” our unexpected guest said, a black cloak wrapped around her white coat. “I apologize for dropping by unannounced.”

I closed the door behind her, “Good morning to you too Rarity, it’s a bit early for social calls, isn’t it?”

“May I take a seat? I’ve been up all night planning out these apologies, and I thought I should talk to you first. I know how busy you are with your orchestra practice these days.” Upon closer inspection, I saw puffy bags under her eyes that all the make-up in the world couldn’t conceal.

“Of course,” I said, gesturing towards the table, “What is it?”

“I trust you remember yesterday’s unpleasantness? When you were unceremoniously teleported to the middle of a children’s birthday party?”

I stared at her, “Strangely enough, now that you mention it, I do recall something like that happening yesterday.”

“Ha ha, very funny,” she said, sitting at the table, “Although I suppose if the worst I get out of this whole apology is a sarcastic barb, I should count myself lucky.”

“Apology?” I asked, quickly deducing just what the apology might involve.

“Yes,” she said, staring down at our table while I wondered if I should have fixed some coffee for us, “You see, a few days ago I was struggling with… I don’t know, I suppose you might call it a lack of creative juices when a very dear friend risked life and limb to find a way to alleviate that problem.”

She paused for a second, “Unfortunately for him, the solution he found was an ancient and, as we later learned, evil spell that, once cast, began to corrupt my mind. It gave me the power to redesign the world as I saw fit and I fear that I quickly fell to it’s influences.”

Rarity sniffled slightly, “I want to say that it wasn’t really my fault, to argue that it wasn’t actually me that was doing all those wicked nasty things yesterday, but that’s not true. I remember thinking that that birthday party desperately needed a touch of sophistication, and I remember thinking that my good friend Octavia would love the extra exposure. That’s the funny thing about it, even during the worst of it, I was always convinced that what I was doing helped ponies, that they would be grateful once I revealed my actions to them. In hindsight, I see what an utter foal I was and can only hope that those I wronged will forgive me in time, which is why I am here this morning.”

It was definitely a morning for coffee. “One minute,” I said as I headed over to the espresso machine, “Do you want anything?”

“Is that all?” She said, looking up at me as I went to work making our drinks (I had taken the liberty of assuming her answer would be in affirmation), “I came here to explain my actions and beg for your forgiveness and you just… offer me coffee?”

I nodded, “Essentially, yes.”

“Aren’t you at least going to give me the chance to earn your forgiveness?”

“No, because you are already forgiven,” I said as I poured the espresso (Hooray for magic brewing), “Sorry, I suppose I should have said that earlier, but it is rather early and I really wanted some coffee. Yes, you are forgiven.”

“You will have to forgive me, but I thought this would be a bit more of a struggle, I thought I would have to promise to make amends before you finally forgave me.”

“Rarity,” I said as I brought the coffee to our table, “If this town has taught me anything, it’s that- Let me start over. I know what it’s like to go mad and do things you regret after coming to your senses. It’s not a feeling you forget, and I still struggle with accepting that fact. If you are like me, the next few weeks will be difficult for you. There will be regret. There will be nights you don’t want to sleep because you know nightmares are all that await you. It’s- If it wasn’t for my work and the fact that my friends forgave me unconditionally, I certainly wouldn’t be as well off as I am now. So I suppose I feel it’s my turn to return the favor, and as one mare desperately trying to forgive herself to another, I understand. I really do, and if you ever want to talk to me about anythin-”

She broke down sobbing, “It turned my own virtue against me, Octavia. I’ve always prided myself in my ability to help others, and it twisted that. I still wanted to help ponies, but I forgot how. I forgot how to separate my wants from their needs and so I gave everypony in town things that I would like. It’s- How could I have even-”

I moved to pat her on the back, “It’s alright, Rarity, let it out if you need to, just remember that it’s over now. Everything is back to normal, and I promise that with time things will get better in time. Just try to forgive yourself.”

Rarity sobbed for a few more minutes before finally regaining her composure, “Thank you Octavia, that was… I’m glad I came to you first. Hopefully the rest of my friends will be as forgiving as you.”

“If they are your friends, they will be,” I said, taking a sip of my coffee, “And if you ever need to talk more about this with somepony who understands, you know where to find me.”

“Thank you,” she said, a faint smile forming, “You know Octavia, you have come quite a long way since you moved here. Why, it seems like only yesterday that I thought you were a loud brute in a bowtie, and now I count you as one of my closest friends.”

The two of us talked for a while longer while we sipped our espressos. She asked me not to tell anypony, and I agreed as long as I Vinyl was exempt from that promise (Hiding that information and then having private conversations with Rarity seemed like the type of thing that might arouse suspicion without a proper understanding of the situation). As Rarity was finally getting ready to leave, Vinyl came downstairs and we explained the situation to her. She was quite understanding about the whole thing and our meeting soon ended.

After that, things moved quickly. With the orchestra’s premier drawing ever nearer, it became even harder for me to spend time with Vinyl, and there were more than a few lunch dates that I had to cancel. Thankfully, she was sympathetic while still making it clear that I would make this up to her later. I suppose I couldn’t have hoped for more. All of this brings us to yesterday. The day my life had been building up to for the last three months. The premier of the Royal Ponyville Orchestra. Do I even have to say that it was eventful enough to merit its own journal entry?

All Good Things... (Part 2)

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~~The day of the performance began~~ No, that’s not quite right, as that implies the day began properly. It implies there was a clear delineation between the day of performance and the day before, when there was no such line for me as I was unable to sleep after we had finished our final practice Thursday.

Vinyl slept quite comfortably beside me, while I tossed and turned debating itself as I desperately tried to figure out what I wanted to do after the orchestra’s premiere tomorrow. One minute, I wanted to travel with the orchestra; the next moment, I wanted to stay in Ponyville with Vinyl. She would travel with me if I asked, but could I live with the guilt of knowing that I took her away from her friends for ten months? Doubtful. Another part of me that I didn’t listen to wondered if I should take a break from Vinyl. She was substantially older than I was, and had far more life experience than I. Would it be so terrible, it argued, if I took some time to see the world? Why should I rush so quickly to tie myself down with one mare? I didn’t consider that option for a single second, but it was one that refused to let me be..

That night lasted for an eternity.

Finally, around 5:00 AM, Vinyl stirred in bed next to me. After a few more minutes, she spoke. “You up?”

“What gave it away?” I asked, rolling to face her.

“Your breathing,” she said, stroking my mane. “Usually when you’re sleeping, your breathing is pretty slow and relaxed. This morning it was all normal. Also, I guess your… composure? I mean, normally when you sleep, your whole body is relaxed, and you just look so calm and tranquil. But this morning, you still looked super tense. What’s up?”

“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “No, not nothing, it’s just... I don’t know what to do after tonight. My entire life, I’ve been dedicated to mastering the cello and becoming the premier cellist in Equestria. I’ve done the first and the second is in my grasp, but now, a large part of me wants to stay in Ponyville with you. It’s rather silly, I know, but I cannot seem to make up my mind.”

“Well, I mean, I’ll visit you all I can, and I would totally be okay with coming with you if you want,” she said, propping her head up off the pillow. “We’ve had this talk before, and what I said then still stands, I can DJ pretty much anywhere, there’s nothing really holding me to Ponyville.”

“I know,” I said. “But what if… what if I want to stay in Ponyville? For some unknown reason, I find myself thinking fondly of this town, and it’s not just because its where my friends live. I have a life in this town, and I don’t want to leave it.”

“Wouldn’t Lyra and Bon-Bon come with you anyways? She didn’t quit the orchestra did she?”

“Not yet,” I said, “but she and Bon-Bon are going to be so busy planning the wedding, I highly doubt they will go on the tour. Twilight almost certainly won’t, and the rest of my friends, such as Pinkie and Rarity, are not affiliated with the orchestra.”

“Whoa,” Vinyl said, smiling. “You think of Pinkie as a friend now? This town really has grown on you.”

“I know, I am as shocked as you are,” I said, sitting up on the edge of the bed. “As much as it pains me to say it, this town is my home, and I don’t want to leave it, but I also want the fame and recognition that comes from touring with the orchestra.”

Vinyl moved to sit in bed next to me. “So just to make sure I have this right, you don’t really want to travel with the orchestra, you just want fame and recognition.”

I nodded.

“Have you considered that maybe fame and recognition aren’t that important?”

I raised an eyebrow at her. “You are going to tell me that, even though you consider yourself to be… how do you describe it again? One of the top DJs in Equestria?”

“No,” she said, “I’m the number one DJ in Equestria. And I earned it too, I put in my time to get there and… Okay, I kind of see your point, but at the same time, I got the recognition because I did what I loved. If you don’t want to tour with the orchestra, then don’t. I’m sure another opportunity will present itself.”

“It’s just...” I sighed “My entire life feels like it has been building towards this, and touring with the orchestra is everything I ever wanted and more, but now that I am so close to it being a reality, I don’t want it.”

Vinyl nodded in thought. “Yeah, that does sound rough, and I wish I could help you, but I feel like this has to be your decision. I mean, if I tell you what to do and then you wind up regretting it, that’s… You know I’ll be with you no matter what though, right?”

“I know,” I said. “I suppose I still have a few hours to think things through before the performance tonight. Actually, we have the whole day off until 3:30, when we are going to do one last rehearsal before the premiere.”

“Cool,” Vinyl said. “I have a… thing at about noon, but we can totally hang out until then.” There was a brief lull in the conversation as she stopped to yawn. “Even if it is way too early for ponies to be up.”

“Then why did you wake up?” I asked, looking out the window as the night sky became tinged with gray.

“I don’t know, maybe I woke up and saw you weren’t sleeping, or I guess I have some other stuff on my mind too.”

“Care to talk about it?” I asked.

“Well, I would, but I don’t want to put any more on your plate right now. I promise we’ll talk about it after the performance tonight.”

There were a few dozen theories about what our talk might consist of that chose to rush through my head at that moment, none of them pleasant. “Is it bad news?” I asked.

“Nope,” she smiled. “I promise that it won’t be bad news for you. Just something I’ve been thinking about the last few weeks. I’ve had a lot of time to think while you’ve been dealing with the orchestra.”

“See, when you say things like that, Vinyl, it makes me think you are still upset by the amount of time I’ve been spending on the. You know I would have spend more time with you if I could, but I couldn’t let the orchestra fall apart now. Not when so much was riding upon my actions.”

She sighed and ran a hoof through my mane, “I know, and I’m okay with it now. You are trying to make time for me and I know how important this all is. Would I like more time with you? Sure, but we can do that after your performance today.”

“Unless I have to spend several months touring Equestria,” I said, looking down at the floor and frowning.

Vinyl put her hoof under my chin and tilted my head up so I could face her. “Hey, even if you do decide to do that, we’ll still spend time with each other, I promise. Now what do you want to do this morning?”

“I would prefer to have a breakfast that wasn’t Trot-Tarts,” I said finally.

“Yeah, we can do that,” she said. “But I don’t think there is really anything in town open right now. I mean, the sun’s not even up yet.”

“I know,” I said, getting off the bed and heading to the shower. “But once I am done getting ready that won’t be an issue.”

She groaned and flopped back down on the bed. “What am I going to do while you get ready then?”

“Sleep would be my suggestion. As you said, the sun’s not even up yet,” I said as I walked towards the door.

In response, Vinyl picked up one of my bowties with her telekinetic field and threw it at me. To my credit, I managed to dodge it just in time.

Over an hour later, I had finally finished properly grooming myself, and was doing a final inspection in the mirror. I caught sight of the pink stripe in my mane and tail. It has been over a month since I added it in, but seeing it run through my mane still manages to bring a smile to my lips and make me feel better. Perhaps it reminds me of my marefriend, perhaps it serves as a reminder to be a better mare, or perhaps it just looks fantastic on me. Either way, I am counting it as an improvement.

I entered the room to find Vinyl passed out on the middle of the bed, her limbs dangling over the edge.

“Vinyl.”

No response.

“Vinyl!”

No response. I did a quick check to make sure she was still breathing.

“VINYL!”

She suddenly jerked up before tumbling off the bed and crashing onto the hardwood floor. “Geeze, what is it Tavi? You don’t have to yell to wake me up.”

“I think we both know that is a lie,” I said, walking over and offering a hoof to help her up. “Are you alright though?”

“Yeah,” she said as I pulled her up to her hooves. “A little sore, but that’s about it. Anyways, why’d you have to wake me up? I was finally getting some decent sleep.”

“If you’ll recall our earlier conversation, we agreed upon breakfast after the sun was up and I had finished getting ready. As you can see, both of those conditions have been fulfilled.”

“But it’s early,” she said. “I mean, I know I’ve been getting up before noon lately thanks to you, but this is like… seven in the morning early and I was having a really awesome dream. Can’t I get a little more sleep?”

“I suppose,” I said, making an exaggerated frown. “All I wanted was to have a leisurely breakfast with my marefriend before she had her secret noon meeting, but if you would rather sleep in bed by yourself, I won’t complain.”

“You are really good at guilt. Like, I can only hope to learn a fraction of what you know about convincing other ponies to do my bidding. Damned diplomancers.” As she spoke, she walked over to her nightstand and put her goggles around her neck before quickly running a comb through her mane.

“If you think I’m good, you should see Rarity in action. I swear she manages to construct situations where any option you can take benefits her, although I suppose it’s not manipulation if she presents situations where both parties benefit. Still, I wish I had her skills with persuasion,” I said as I walked out the bedroom door.

“You stop Moldy from creating some sort of Equestrian hive mind, and then you don’t call yourself persuasive? Crazy.”

“I’m not saying I’m not persuasive, I’m just saying that if Rarity were in that situation, she probably would have talked Moldy into becoming her indentured servant. I’m good, but Rarity is on a different level entirely,” I said.

“Well anyways,” she said after a pause. “Breakfast?”

I nodded and headed towards the door, Vinyl following after me. The air was cold as we walked towards the restaurant, and I found myself wishing I had remembered to put on my winter saddle. In the last few weeks, the pegasi had gone about steadily lowering the temperature in preparation for winter, as the rest of Equestria prepared itself for the long cold. Now, the pegasi were busy flying from cloud to cloud, making sure everything was perfect for the first snow of the season, which was scheduled to fall during our performance tonight, with the clouds quickly clearing out so that Luna’s moon wouldn’t be obscured for the rest of the celebration. The fact that the orchestra’s performance would herald in the changing of the seasons as well as celebrating the longest night of the year might have contributed to my obsessive perfectionism over the past few months as I worked to make sure both events were given the dignity and respect they deserved.

We finally reached the breakfast bistro and eschewed our usual patio seats in favor of something a touch warmer. Winter was coming, and sitting outside on a day like today was the height of foalishness.

“Is there any chance you feel like telling me just what your secret appointment is about this afternoon?” I asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

“There sure is,” she said, taking a sip of her orange juice. “As soon as your performance is finished today, and don’t worry, I’ll be in the front row cheering you on the whole time.”

“Actually, I have to insist that you don’t. Cheering throughout the performance would be… frowned upon. Making any noise before the end of the show is usually considered poor etiquette at these events, and considering that the cream of the Canterlot nobility have been invited to this show, I doubt this show will be an exception.”

“Really?” She asked. “Because, I mean, most of the shows I’ve been to have ponies cheering and-”

“You have been to an orchestra performance before right? I have to imagine that at some point during your four years in Canterlot that you learned just what is and isn’t expected during shows.”

“No, and I mean,” she rubbed the back of her head, “I know that you’re supposed to stay in your seats for most of the time, but I thought a little cheering would be okay.”

“It’s not,” I said. “At all. As I said earlier, we generally prefer it if the audience is completely silent.”

“But that sounds boring,” she said. “Can’t I cheer just a bit?”

“No,” I said as the waiter approached us. “Ponies are paying to listen to highly-trained professionals perform, other ponies talking would only be a distraction.”

Our conversation halted for a moment as the waiter came and asked our orders. Vinyl continued her tradition of requesting hay frites before I convinced her to order something different. At this point, I think it’s mostly habit for her because she knows it annoys me.

“How can anypony stand that?” She asked after the waiter had left. “I mean…” She shook her head, “Whatever, if you want, I won’t talk during the show. Besides, I can cheer you on when you practice at home.”

I leaned in and kissed her. “Thank you.”

“No problem, I mean, I don’t want to be responsible for your big performance being a giant train wreck. Not to say that other forces will make it a giant trainwreck. I’m sure it will be great.” And now, she had almost certainly guaranteed some terrible calamity was going to befall the premiere. You don’t just tempt fate like that in Ponyville, not if you value your sanity. Suddenly, felt as if my heart were gripped by an icy vice.

“You alright, Tavi? You kind of just froze up and dropped your silverware. It’s… at least this isn’t as common as it used to be.”

“Thank you,” I said, after a few more seconds pause. “If you will excuse me, I have to go prepare for whatever calamity you have unleashed on the orchestra. I’m sure I will be hearing about it presently.” I stood up and headed towards the door.

Vinyl groaned, “Come on Tavi, you’ve been working hard for the past two months, nothing bad is going to happen.”

I quickly trotted towards the exit. “No, I can’t- I need to stop whatever calamity you’ve unleashed. We’ll talk after the show, I promise.”

I heard Vinyl’s head thump against the wood as I walked away. “Unbelievable. Today of all days Tavi has to… And now my horn is stuck in the wood. How is that- These tables must be made of balsa wood.”

She continued to talk aloud while I walked out of the restaurant. I know it wasn’t polite, but my chest felt like it was about to collapse on itself and the only solution was to stop whatever doom was now heading towards the orchestra. I shivered as I walked through Ponyville’s streets. Doom was heading for me and the orchestra, and I had to stop it. But first, I had to find it.

The door to Royal’s rented house was locked, and several minutes of knocking yielded no result. Unlike Vinyl, he was generally a light sleeper, and he tended to wake up at a reasonable hour. While I waited, my mind ran through the list of possible dooms. Royal Riff could have suffered a massive coronary, although that wouldn’t ruin tonight’s orchestra performance, his removal wouldn’t have a significant impact on tonight’s performance although the long-term repercussions would of course be massive. The sun could go supernova, but as possible dooms, that one wouldn’t lead to any lasting embarrassment, and more importantly, I think Celestia would prevent that from happening.

I considered other more probable disasters like the town falling into a pocket dimension or getting stuck in some sort of perpetual time loop where I was forced to relive the same day over and over again until everything was perfect, but that would be less a disaster and more an opportunity. If I could have infinite repeats until I made everything perfect, I wouldn’t have to worry that something might go wrong because I would be able to fix it. Actually, now that I think about it, being able to repeat each day until everything was perfect seems more a blessing than a curse.

Assuming he wasn’t dead, his absence either meant that he was spending more time with Fiddlesticks or that something terrible was afoot and he was desperately searching for me. Normally, it would be the former, but today it was most likely the latter. Doom was coming, nebulous and undefined, and I had to stop it. If I couldn’t find Royal, then I would find everypony in the orchestra, round them up to one location and make sure nothing terrible happened.

As I walked towards Lyra’s house to ask her to report to the town hall for shelter, I noticed a note on the door.

Octavia.
Meet me at the hospital as soon as you get this note.
Royal Riff

I laughed as soon as I finished reading the note. “I knew something terrible was going to happen tonight. I’m not crazy!” I stopped as I realized my outburst might have been counterproductive and that my lack of sleep might be impairing my ability to think rationally. “I mean, oh no, something terrible has happened, I should go assist immediately.” (I’m not proud of some of my actions yesterday, but in my defense, stress and sleep deprivation had greatly reduced my ability to act rationally.)

The trip to the hospital was mercifully short, as it was one of the few places in town I knew the location of by heart, and for once I wasn’t the one being rushed there after a life-threatening emergency. If it wasn’t for the fact that the performance was in jeopardy, I might have enjoyed the experience more than I did.

“Hello,” I said as I sprinted into the waiting room, “I’m looking for Royal Riff. He told me to meet him here?”

The receptionist looked down at her notes. “Are you Octavia Melody?”

I nodded.

“Head on in, Doctor Flatline has a few questions for you,” she said, buzzing the door open.

The doctor and Royal Riff were in the next room, surrounded by several members from the orchestra. “Can somepony tell me what’s going on?” I asked as I entered the main section of the emergency room.

“Well I was hoping you could shed some light on that for me, Miss Melody,” Doctor Flatline said, turning to face me. “A majority of your orchestra is suffering from magical exhaustion. It’s a very rare illness that only afflicts unicorns who are pushed to the edge of their magical range, which is why it’s so strange to see so many ponies in an orchestra suddenly develop the illness.”

I groaned, at least I had found the doom heading for the orchestra. I didn’t know how to stop it, but I definitely knew what it was. “Could they play tonight? It’s our first performance.”

He laughed, “Absolutely not. Anypony showing signs of magic exhaustion needs to take several weeks off to replenish their magic supply. If not, they run the risk of developing horn rot. I am ordering every unicorn in the orchestra to come to the hospital for testing. So far, I have five cases of late stage magic exhaustion, all of them originally complaining of chronic debilitating headaches. Has anypony else in the orchestra mentioned a headache lately?”

Almost everypony. I had just assumed they wanted some time off and were finding things to complain about. I didn’t know magic exhaustion was a thing, if I did I probably wouldn’t have worked them so hard. I certainly didn’t want the orchestra to fail.

“Octavia?” Royal said. “Are you alright? You’ve been staring at an empty stretch of wall for nearly a minute.”

“Oh, I’m fine,” I said, coming back to my senses and laughing nervously. “Now that you mention it, I do recall a majority of the orchestra members complaining of headaches and asking for time off. I assured them that they could rest after the show.”

“You did what?” the doctor said, raising his voice, “You-” He pinched the brow of his nose, “You do realize that if a unicorn starts complaining of chronic headaches that it’s a giant red flag for magic exhaustion? How much were you forcing them to rely upon their magic?”

“Well, we were practicing for seventy-two hours a week and most of them were using their magic the entir- Wait! If magic exhaustion is such an issue, then why didn’t any of them talk to me about it? I’m not a unicorn, I didn’t even know what magic exhaustion was until today.”

“Because it’s a rare condition. Most unicorns don’t overdraw from their magical supply, and those that do only do so for a short amount of time. It’s not a daily reality for ponies because most of them have the good sense not to overexert themselves.”

“Doctor Flatline,” Royal Riff said, entering into the conversation, “I understand your annoyance, but neither of us were aware of the risks involved with magical exhaustion. If we were, I assure you that none of this would have ever happened.”

“Very well,” he said, turning back to his clipboard. “I will still need every unicorn in the orchestra to come by the hospital for testing, and any who are diagnosed positive will be put on strict bedrest until they’ve made a full recovery.”

“Is that really necessary?” I asked twisting my lips up to smile at the doctor. “We’ve all been pushing ourselves to the limit for this performance, and if you take away any unicorn showing signs of exhaustion, I don’t know how we will be able to make a proper performance tonight.”

He turned to regard me again, the expression on his face shifting from annoyance to concern. “You’re right, I shouldn’t focus on just the unicorns. How much have you been working the past few weeks?”

“Roughly a hundred and four hours,” I said. “If I’m not sleeping or spending time with Vinyl, I’m working on the orchestra.”

“I see,” he said. “And how have you been sleeping?” As he spoke, another chart had floated up to him and he made several notes.

“Not well, actually, I’ve had a lot on my mind and-” I paused, an eye twitching as I finally realized what he was attempting to do. “I’m fine. Absolutely fine. I know I need sleep, but I will get it after tonight. I can’t rest now. I can’t afford to. The orchestra needs me. I need to save it.”

“So I suppose if I told you to get some rest, you would ignore that order?”

I nodded, and he and Royal exchanged looks.

“Octavia, I know the orchestra is important to you,” Royal said, seeming to choose his words carefully, “it’s important to me too, but I’m sure if we explain the situation to Luna she will be more than-”

“Pinkie Pie!” I shouted, causing the two stallions to look at me in confusion. “We all know Pinkie Pie can play an unusually high number of instruments, she is passingly familiar with the routine, and she is well rested. Although we will not be able to field a full orchestra tonight, but we might be able to complete the show. The show for thousands of Equestria’s harshest critics. Show them our pathetic excuse for an orchestra. I ruined us-” I continued in that fashion for some time, and while I did, Royal and Flatline apparently exchanged words, as Royal had vanished once I ended my ravings and my attention turned again to the outside world

“I’m fine,” I said forcing a smile. “Just a little stressed as all.” I ran a hoof through my mane, “Once the show is over, I will be right as rain. Right as rain, I promise.”

“Of course,” he said, though the look on his face made me doubt his sincerity. “I notice you’ve been keeping most of your weight off your right foreleg since you came in here, any particular reason?”

“It’s fine. Fine, it’s just been a little sore the last few weeks.” As I spoke, he went to a filing cabinet and levitated one of the manilla folders out of it. “Nothing to worry about though.”

“I see,” he said, regarding the folder. “It says here you suffer from carpal tunnel syndrome. Could you raise up your right hoof for me?”

I sighed and followed his instructions. As soon as my weight was off it, it reflexively bent itself to the shape it took while holding the bow. “Can you straighten your hoof out so I can inspect it, please?”

For several minutes, I tried to follow his command but proved unable to do so. He stopped me around the same time I started slamming my hoof against the floor to straighten it.

“Thank you very much, Miss Melody, I’m afraid I will have to stop you though.”

“What, from straightening my forehoof?” I said. “That’s fine. It’s better this way, makes it easier for me to grab my bow, which means I can spend more time practicing. I can work on straightening it out to normal after the show.”

“No, I’m afraid I can’t let you perform tonight. I have to insist that you stay here until we can make sure you are feeling better.”

“What?! You can’t do that!” I shrieked, turning to face the door and sprinting towards it as fast as I could. Unfortunately, no matter how fast I am, unicorn magic will always be faster, and the door clicked closed before I could take more than a couple of steps. I whirled around to face the doctor, who had taken a small step towards me. “I need to be out there, I need to make this perfect. Luna will- She put so much faith in me, I can’t disappoint her. No, I have to make things perfect. Everything has to be perfect. Everything has to be perfect”

I repeated that mantra to myself as the doctor continued taking cautious steps towards me. “Octavia, calm down. Royal Riff will be back soon and you can discuss what to do then. However, I’m afraid I can’t release you as you are in good conscience. I hope you understand.”

“Yes,” I said, struggling to control my breathing, “I apologize for my earlier outburst, I’m just a little overworked at the moment. Thank you for calming me down.” A fake smile was plastered on my face as I desperately tried to convince him that everything was okay now. For some reason, he didn’t take the bait.

“That’s wonderful,” he said, “So I’m sure you will be amenable to staying here for the day while we treat you for exhaustion.”

Without a second thought, I hurled myself towards the door as hard as I could, hoping to break through it and make my escape. Unfortunately, locked hospital doors are substantially stronger than I am, and I quickly found myself curled up in a ball next to the door with every bone in my body howling in pain. It was not my best-thought-out plan.

The doctor used that time to levitate me to one of the hospital beds and properly restrain me. Within a few minutes, I was completely incapable of moving any of my limbs, and forced to stare at the ceiling while I felt something jab into my left foreleg. “What is that?” I asked, already feeling my foreleg numbing.

“It’s a painkiller/sedative combo delivered intravenously. It should help numb the pain you’re feeling after running headfirst into a door, while also calming you down and helping you sleep. Don’t worry Octavia, Vinyl and Royal should be returning soon.”

“Nnno,” I said, feeling my words slur and run into each other. “Sshe hash a sheecret meeting at noon. I ddon’t know where she is.”

“Don’t worry, we will find her, for now let’s just focus on getting you better.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him inject something into the IV line, and a few seconds later the world dissolved around me.

When I finally came back to my senses, the evening sun was streaming through my hospital window, and I found myself wondering why my whole body seemed to ache before remembering the events that led to me waking up in the hospital. “Did I really ram myself headfirst into a door?” I asked to nopony in particular.

“Yeah,” a familiar voice from the other side of the room said. “I mean, I heard you did, and you’re certainly bruised enough.” I turned my head towards the voice to see Vinyl sitting next to me.

“Hey,” she said, her voice oddly raspy, her cheeks still stained from crying. “How are you feeling?”

“I suppose I’ve been better,” I said, trying to smile. “Truthfully, I can’t believe I acted like such a foal.” I paused, repeating what I had just said back to myself. “How much medication am I on?”

“Like… A ton,” Vinyl said. “Most of it’s painkillers and sedatives so you don’t try to make any more really dumb breakout attempts. What were you thinking?!”

“I didn’t want the orchestra’s premiere to be ruined, so I suppose I just tried to escape. I don’t think I will try charging any doors headfirst for the forseeable future.”

“Not that,” she said. “Why did you make yourself so crazy obsessing over the orchestra? You almos- Do you know how I felt when I heard what happened?”

“Terrible?”

“That’s one way to describe it,” she said. “I felt like an idiot for letting you focus on your orchestra stuff so obsessively. I mean, I knew you were putting in a lot of work, but I didn’t know things were getting that bad. Like, I thought this was just your usual Tavi perfectionism, which I suppose should have been my first red flag.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “You shouldn’t blame yourself though, I didn’t even know anything was wrong.”

“But you never know when things are going wrong, I do,” she said. “I really shouldn’t have let you- I knew you were stressed, but I was so focused on my own plans that I kind of just assumed you were going to hold up until the premiere. But then you had to go and work the whole orchestra to the point that they got magic fatigue and freak out. Well, not the whole orchestra, I mean, there are about five unicorns that aren’t currently affected, Lyra is one of them, and as soon as Pinkie heard the situation, she agreed to help out immediately, even if it cut into her planning of the… after party.”

“When can I get out of here?” I asked, my voice still groggy from having just woken up..

“The doctor says he wants to keep you for observation for at least a couple of days. Don’t worry, we have enough ponies to create a small band. It won’t be as big as we planned, but I think Luna will understand, given the circumstances. Don’t worry though, I’ll be right next to you doing everything I can to help.”

I smiled at that. She would. In spite of how absent I had been the last few months, in spite of the general insanity that had filled my life since coming to this town, I was somehow fortunate enough to find a mare who cared for me and was willing to go through Tartarus to help me, and I realized that I was willing to do the same with her. Suddenly, the decision that had been weighing on my mind the last few weeks was greatly simplified.

“Vinyl,” I said, basking in the glow that only came from true love and a copious amount of painkillers, two things I had in ready supply, “I don’t care about the orchestra. Not really, not when I have to choose between you and it. I think that is why I was so focused on making sure this last show was perfect, so I could go out on a high note. I did a wonderful job of that though, didn’t I?”

“You know you never had to choose, right? I mean, I could have waited for your tour to end or gone with you or whatever,” she said. “I know that being in an orchestra is important to you, and I know it requires work, just… hopefully not a hundred hours of work per week.”

“But it isn’t,” I said, shaking my head. “I mean, it was, but these past few weeks, it just felt like something I had to do. Yes, I love playing the cello, but I don’t need to be in an orchestra to do that, I’d much rather play it with my marefriend in a town I loved than with an orchestra.”

She leaned in and kissed my forehead. “If staying here in Ponyville is what you want to do, that’s great, just as long as you’re happy. How do you think Luna will react to the news?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “We are friendly, but I don’t think I was her first choice for head of the orchestra, so I think she will be fine with my unexpected resignation, especially considering I caused most of the orchestra to develop magic fatigue.”

“Yeah,” Vinyl laughed. “That- I’m sure in a few years we will all be able to laugh about how you went totally crazy freaking out over the orchestra’s first performance and made everypony-”

I glared at her. “But, I mean, not for a few years of course,” she said, rubbing the back of her head.

“So, what is the plan for the rest of the evening?” I asked. “Will you be going to the performance to let me know how it goes?”

“Actually, I’m in the performance now, since pretty much the rest of the proper orchestra is on bed rest. I should probably head out soon, because I don’t think it would be good if the orchestra was missing 10% of its performers, although if you want me to, I will stay right next to you..”

“You should go,” I said, smiling wanly. “I wish I could play in an orchestra one last time before I changed careers, but I suppose I made my own bed in that regard.”

Vinyl chewed on her lip in thought, staring down at the ground. “One last show? After all the stuff you’ve been through and put yourself through these last few months, I think the universe kind of owes you at least that.” She looked up at me and smiled. “What do you say we break out of here?”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I’m… I’m okay with staying here. I understand why the doctor wants me to..”

“Yeah, well, having you sit this one out just doesn’t seem right to me, not if it’s your last show. Anyways, you ever teleported before?”

I shook my head.

“Okay, here are the basics then: try not to move, don’t close your eyes, it just makes the feeling of nausea worse, and I only have about one jump in me without running low on magical energy, which as we learned today is apparently super bad.” With that, she wrapped her forelegs around me while her horn flashed with magic. The next thing I knew Vinyl, myself, and the hospital bed were on the streets of Ponyville while I felt as if- Well, if it weren’t for the lovely painkillers being pumped into me intravenously, I might have been violently ill. Instead, I just felt nauseous as the world turned into a kaleidoscope of colors and patterns before reforming around me.

“Now then, let’s get your cello and get you to the show, the sun will be going down soon and we should probably get there before it starts.”

“Won’t hospital orderlies be looking for me?” I asked as she pushed my bed through the streets.

“Oh, almost certainly. Hopefully we can get there and get set up before they find you, although I am guessing that as soon as they find out you are gone, they will head straight for the town hall.”

“So our plan is… what? To just hope that they don’t find me until the performance finishes up?”

“Yeah, pretty much,” she said as we raced through the streets of Ponyville. “Kind of wishing I had thought this through more.”

I closed my eyes, letting the cocktail of medications I was on wash away the slowly mounting stress. “Alright, this isn’t too terrible. You go to the show, they will find you, you tell them you broke me out, but then after that say we had a huge fight that ended with me saying I should go back to Canterlot and that after that you haven’t seen me since. I will be getting my cello while all this is going on, and I should be able to grab it before the guards show up.”

“Huh, that’s actually a pretty good plan. Did you just come up with that on the spot or do you have a whole bunch of alibis floating in the back of your head at all time?”

“Let’s keep it a mystery,” I said, doing my best attempt at an enigmatic smile. Judging by the way Vinyl burst out laughing, the effect wasn’t what I intended.

“Yeah, okay,” she said after regaining her composure, “let’s go with that. Anyways, you ready to sneak back to our house and get your cello?”

I nodded as she went to work undoing my restraints. “What about the IV bag?” I asked.

“At this point, it’s just pumping in saline solution. All the good drugs are already in your system.”

“In that case, we’re fine,” I said as I got out of the bed. “My flesh is about 80% bruises right now, and I am not going to be in a happy place when the medicine wears off. Hopefully it will last until after the show.”

Vinyl smiled. “Even if it doesn’t, I’m sure you will power through.”

“Of course,” I said as Vinyl removed the IV. “Would you expect anything less?”

“Like a sense of self-preservation? Not really.”

I kissed her. Her lips were as soft as ever and the act still made an electric current run through my body. “I will see you at the show,” I said.

She smiled. “Good luck, I’ll try to distract the guards. Also, we are going back to the hospital after this, right?”

I nodded. “I love you, Vinyl.”

“I love you too,” she said, laughing. “But don’t make a big thing of this, we’ll see each other in less than an hour.”

There was one last kiss that might have lasted longer than was needed before I sprinted off towards our house. I felt my muscles ache in protest, but thanks to the medical cocktail currently flowing through my veins the pain was, at worst, academic. I looked at the clock as I trotted into the living room. There were still thirty minutes left before the show started, leaving me with plenty of time to get my cello and reach the town hall, I thought. The house was completely quiet as Woodhoof and Moldy were probably already at the festivities, at the very least, they weren’t home right now, making my job substantially easier. The cello was in my room, right where I had left it, and I quickly strapped it on to my back. But just as I was preparing to leave the room and head to the show, I happened to glance out the bedroom window and see two large figures walking towards my house, one of them having a straightjacket for a cutie mark. Apparently, the hospital had the good sense to check my place of residence when searching for me.

Okay, I thought to myself, quickly moving away from the window to prevent them from seeing me and thanking Celestia I hadn’t turned my bedroom light on, how can I get out of this? I could try talking to them and explain what was happening in the hopes they would be reasonable, but that didn’t strike me as likely. On the other hoof, I really didn’t think I could take them in a fight in my current state, and even if I could, I would prefer not to harm ponies who were just doing their job. I looked at the window again and a new idea began to form.

No.

This was a really bad idea.

I opened the window after I heard the front door open.

There was no way this could end well.

Moving as quickly as I could, I crawled out the window and dangled precariously from the open window, checking my surroundings for a quick way down. We had a small garden where a couple of bushes grew directly below my window capable of breaking my fall. It wasn’t the best plan, but it was better than landing on cobblestone streets. Alright Octavia, I thought to myself, just aim for the bushes.

I missed the bushes. How could I have missed the bushes? They were maybe seven feet below me. Instead, I fell onto the cobblestone streets and my back left leg howled in protest. Thankfully, I managed not to alert the orderlies who were now searching our kitchen and presumably commenting on the absurd number of Trot-Tarts in our house. A part of me wanted to go in and politely explain that they weren’t actually mine, but a much larger and smarter part of me just wanted to get to the town hall.

Unfortunately, now that I knew ponies were looking for me, taking the main road didn’t seem that advisable. Instead, I ducked into a nearby alley and started making my way to the show, careful not to put too much weight on either my back left or front right leg. It was a slow journey to the town hall, and not just because I was trying to move undetected. Finally, I managed to sneak into the back entrance of the orchestra, mercifully unguarded, without being seen by the large crowd of ponies near the main entrance who were staring at the growing twilight expectantly.

“Octavia!” Twilight said, turning to face me. “Vinyl told me you were coming, are you alright? You look terrible.”

“I’m fine,” I said, moving a foreleg to brush my coat off, and wincing for putting so much weight on my two bad hooves. “Although a little help with the grooming would be greatly appreciated.”

Twilight nodded and her horn flashed lavender. I felt my magic wash over my coat and mane, and when it was over, I felt much cleaner.

“Thank you,” I said. “How much time until the debut?”

“Moonrise is in three minutes; as soon as it is up, the ticket holders are coming into the auditorium and we’re starting the show. If you are going to do this, you need to get on stage now.”

I nodded my head, and moved to join the greatly reduced orchestra. There were ten ponies where there should have been fifty. Pinkie was our workhorse, of course, while Royal, Lyra, Fiddlesticks and myself composed the entirety of the string section. Vinyl was our sole solo percussionist, and was currently going through one last minute practice with her bass drum, while the few unicorns who weren’t suffering from magic exhaustion comprised our woodwind section. (Apparently they used less magic than the other musicians, as they could play almost entirely without the aid of magic.)

“Vinyl explained everything to us,” Royal said, smiling at me. “I’m glad you are here, it would have felt wrong performing without you.”

“Thank you,” I said, getting into position with my cello, “Does everypony know their parts?”

He nodded. “They’ve been practicing for months, and even our new additions have several weeks of intensive practice in their recent memories. I think we are as ready as we can be, given the circumstances.”

“Better prepared than we would have been without your help,” I said as the first ponies entered the auditorium and I drew my bow. “Vinyl probably told you I will be leaving the orchestra after this, and I just wanted you to know that I will be recommending Luna give you full control of the orchestra. You can’t do any worse with it than I did.”

“Don’t say that,” he whispered as Twilight headed towards her spot in front of the orchestra. “Nopony but Twilight knew about magic exhaustion, and she didn’t think about it because levitating a baton barely tapped into her magical reserves. Yes, things went bad, but if you hadn’t pushed everypony to their limits, I would have instead. At least this way, we have an orchestra that can play AND our arrangements for the foreseeable future have been taken care of. Without you, only one of those could have happened.” He smiled as ponies took their seats. “Now let’s make this a show for the ages.”

“Hey,” Vinyl whispered from her station, “I told the orderlies who came by that you are taking the 7:45 to Canterlot. They might head back here once it leaves.” I nodded. The show was scheduled to end at 8:00, so that only left a fifteen-minute window where they could disrupt the show. Hopefully we would be fine.

I wanted to say something else, but there was no more time. Ponies were in the seats, and Twilight was signalling for us to start. I gave Vinyl one last smile and turned my focus towards the cello ~~It was~~ ~~There seemed to be~~ ~~The music~~

This is infuriating. That performance was the moment my life had been building up to since I came to Ponyville, and now that it is time to detail it, my inability to describe it is hamstringing me. Obviously, I played well. I played flawlessly despite being so exhausted and high on painkillers that I started thinking the world around me had turned to gold during the performance. I basked in the radiance of the world around me, listening to the sweet melodies enveloping me as I added my own humble contributions. For two hours, I stood on that stage, feelings of rapture filling me, fueled by a heady mix of painkillers, exhaustion, and the fact that I was doing what I loved.

I became my microcosm of creation, existing only to fill the world with beautiful music and reveling in the sensation of doing so. I loved my cello. I loved music. I loved Vinyl. I loved Ponyville. That was all I needed to know, if I could remember that, everything else would be simple. Finally, we came to the last note and I suddenly became aware of the polite applause of ponies. I scanned my surroundings to see the world around me.

Woodhoof and Moldy were in the front row, stomping their hooves. Moldy was wearing a long coat and sunglasses to hide his lack of cutie mark or normal eyes, though his lack of hair was still readily apparent, while there was a look of pride in Woodhoof’s eyes. Most ponies in the audience applauded politely. The nobles applauded with the precise movements that only come after years of practicing, and I felt the urge to throttle them rising in my chest. They didn’t actually care about our performance, to them this was just a social occasion. Then they noticed Princess Luna applauding wildly from her box seat and quickly matched their applause with hers.

An instant later, the doors flew open and several orderlies entered, one of them levitating a strange device I didn’t recognize next to him.The crowd grew silent, and I turned and nodded at them. “There is no need to make a scene, I am ready to retur-” That was as far as I got before something embedded itself in my neck and I suddenly found my limbs quite unresponsive. I teetered perilously for a few seconds before collapsing on top of my cello as ponies gasped around me. Then I fell into unconsciousness.

Moonlight filtered through the windows of my darkened hospital room when I finally woke up and an involuntary groan escaped my lips. I tried to recall just what had led me to the hospital this time. I remembered the performance, I remembered the guards, I remembered something stinging my neck, and then things went hazy before going completely black. “Somepony shot me,” I said aloud.

“Yep.” Vinyl said, sitting next to me, wearing saddlebags emblazoned with her cutie mark. (How did I never see her when I first woke up? It seemed statistically impossible at this point.) “The orderlies were instructed to subdue you as quickly as possible because you might be a danger to yourself or others. Also, when an orchestra’s performance is interrupted by a bunch of guards who knock out one of the performers, there’s just a huge uproar. Especially when two princesses are witnesses and also friendly with the mare who got knocked out.”

I tried to follow Vinyl, my mind slowed by the heavy sedatives still in my system. “How did the hospital react?”

“They still say that they acted appropriately, but they also decided to go against hospital policy and let Pinkie throw her after party in the main lounge. They also allowed me to push your bed there once you wake up.”

“Lovely,” I said after a few seconds to think. “I suppose we should be going soon then?”

“Not yet,” she said, smiling nervously. “I wanted to talk to you about something. Maybe it’s a bad time now, and I was kind of thinking today would go a lot smoother than it did, so all my planning is kind of just… wrecked, but…” She sighed.

“Tavi, the last few months have been amazing. I mean, even when things were going completely crazy, I always had you around to-” Vinyl shook her head.

“Tavi, I love you. These past few months, all the things that have been thrown our way, they only made our love stronger, and now whenever I try to imagine my future, there is always a spot in it for you, and it’s right next to me. Maybe this is too soon, but I think after Nightmare Night and that meeting with your parents, and just everything else, we can move a bit fast, so I suppose what I am asking is...” She levitated a black box out of her saddlebags and brought it over to her forehooves. “Tavi, will you marry me?” She opened the box to reveal an intricately carved hoofband with several precious gems set into it at various points.

“You know,” I said, after a brief pause, “it’s customary to use the mare’s full name when proposing.”

“Yeah, well I don’t think I’ve ever called you by your full first name, and I figured why start now? Now what’s the answer going to be?”

I leaned out of bed and kissed her, “The answer was yes when we talked about it two months ago and it hasn’t changed since then. If anything, the last few months have just added to the already overwhelming reasons why I should say yes, so… yes. Yes, Vinyl Scratch, I will marry you. Are Bon-Bon and Lyra okay with you proposing now? I don’t want to be seen as stealing their moment.”

“Oh no,” Vinyl said, putting the band on my left forehoof, “I talked with them about it and they agreed that after the show would be just the perfect time for us to propose. We definitely have their blessing. Lyra even brought up the idea of the two of us sharing a bachelorette party.”

“Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t quite get that, did she talk about you and I sharing a bachelorette party or you and her sharing a bachelorette party, because your wording was very ambiguous.”

Vinyl chuckled. “She and I, it would be kind of weird if you and I shared a bachelorette party, right?”

“We are both bachelorettes though,” I said, shrugging. “You’ll forgive me for not having all of the logistics to our wedding planned yet.”

“I’m sure you’ll take care of that before the week is out,” Vinyl said before moving to kiss my cheek. “One of the many reasons why I decided to marry you was because I figured you could do most of that boring planny stuff for me.”

“You do know how to make a mare feel appreciated,” I said, trying not to smile at her words. “Now, should we join the party?”

“I suppose we should; it’s almost midnight and all your friends have been waiting for you to make an appearance,” she said as she started pushing my bed out the door.

“It is customary for ponies to stay up all night during the Winter Moon Celebration, so I don’t feel too bothered about this.”

Vinyl raised her eyebrow. “Really? You aren’t upset that ponies have been waiting for you for several hours?”

“If they were actually waiting for me to show up before they started the party, then yes. If they were still enjoying a perfectly fine party during that time, then not particularly. Is Luna- Is Princess Luna there?”

“Yeah.”

“Ah, then it’s a good thing we are already heading towards the festivities. I’d hate to keep the Princess waiting,” I said as Vinyl navigated my bed around one of the hospital’s corners.

“So, just so I have this straight, you are okay with keeping everypony else waiting, but keeping the Princess waiting is unforgivable?”

“Essentially, yes.”

As second later, the door had opened to the party where my friends were busy enjoying themselves. A large banner hung across the room reading Congratulations Royal Ponyville Orchestra, and I could see there was something else attached, but that banner was still furled. Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Twilight sat in one corner talking enthusiastically with each other about something (considering they comprised the rest of the anthropology club, I might be able to field a guess though), Rarity and Luna spoke with each other in the center of the room, towards the back Royal and Fiddlesticks worked on polishing off a bottle of wine, and Pinkie stood next a piece of rope hanging from the ceiling, while other ponies who were associated with the orchestra mingled with each other. As soon as the door opened, they all looked over and cheered loudly.

While most of the room looked at the mare in a hospital bed, Pinkie’s attention was firmly focused on Vinyl. I saw my ~~marefriend~~ fiance nod her head, and the pink mare pulled the rope, causing the rest of the banner to unfurl, reading And Congratulations Octavia and Vinyl. There was a short applause, and soon my friends were heading towards us to offer their congratulations.

“Oh darling, you simply must tell me how the proposal went, was it suitably romantic? I want all the juicy details,” Rarity said, smiling magnanimously.

“Were you surprised when I came back in the story? I know I said my role in it was done, but then when Vinyl asked me to throw your engagement party, I just couldn’t resist. How awesome is it that I get to be in the finale? Huh huh huh?” As she spoke, Pinkie bounced excitedly around my bed.

“I’m real happy for you cuz, ain’t nopony I know that practices more than you, and Vinyl here seems like she makes you happy.” Fiddlesticks turned to face Vinyl, “And you best make ‘er happy, we Apples look after our own.”

“You performed magnificently Octavia. We could not have imagined a better inaugural performance for our orchestra,” Princess Luna said.

“Really?” I asked, looking at the Princess. “Because I feel it would have gone substantially better if I hadn’t made almost the entire orchestra sick.”

“Those things happen,” Luna said, shrugging. “What’s important is that you managed to save the situation and still put on an impressive show. There probably would have been calls for an encore if the show hadn’t been so rudely interrupted.” She glared at one of the orderlies, who had the good sense to look ashamed.

“Thank you,” I said. “I want to talk to you about my role in the future of the orchestra when you get a chance.”

Luna nodded her head, a slight frown forming on her lips. “Once the party winds down, we will discuss that matter. For now, let us enjoy ourselves. I think, there is an old friend who wants to see you.” Luna gestured towards one of the ponies near the back of the room, and I felt like an utter foal for not immediately recognizing my old employer Mister Pianissimo. In my defense though, he had been facing away from me when I first entered the room.

“Hello Octavia,” he said, walking towards me. “Your performance was wonderful tonight.”

“Really?” I stated, all cheer draining from my voice.

“Yes, quite, you exceeded all of my expectation, and it’s clear you’ve developed more than a few friends.” He smiled, and I resisted the urge to punch him.

“You exiled me from Canterlot. You sent me to Ponyville because I was making the rest of your unicorns look bad, and now that I’ve managed to succeed despite the odds, you try to be friendly with me?”

He wrinkled his brow. “Is that what you think happened? If so, I apologize for any confusion. Yes, I was perhaps a bit secretive, but perhaps after hearing the full story you will judge me less harshly. When I met with Princess Celestia for one of our meetings, we discussed members of the orchestra who had been problematic. You had been on that list for some time, as you tended to alienate yourself from your coworkers and forsake socializing in favor of cello practice. While it didn’t negatively impact your work performance, Princess Celestia cares greatly for the well-being of all her ponies, and once I mentioned that issue she started work on a solution. I suppose you can deduce the rest from that?”

“Luna,” I asked, “Is this true?”

“Indeed it is,” the princess said. “When we mentioned our desire to reform the orchestra to Celestia, I believe she saw the opportunity to deal with two issues at once. As to why she chose Ponyville, I believe it is because she had good results with the town previously.”

“She did the same thing with me,” Twilight said. “Although I always thought she took a special interest in my well-being because I was her personal student and the fate of Equestria depended on me making friends.”

Luna nodded. “That is true, but Celestia wants all her little ponies to live in harmony and friendship. When she hears of one suffering, she tries to correct that. At any given time, there are at least six ponies she is trying to manipulate into accepting the power of friendship. It is something of a hobby of hers.”

“Wow,” Vinyl said. “That’s… kind of crazy.”

“Vinyl, everything that’s happened since I arrived in this town has been kind of crazy. At this point, I don’t think I can be surprised by anything. Although,” I smiled at Mister Pianissimo, “I’m glad to hear you aren’t a terrible racist. I quite admired you before this incident with the orchestra started.”

“And I have always been exceptionally fond of you, Miss Melody. You are hard-working, intelligent, and it broke my heart to see you isolate yourself in your apartment. Celestia advised me not to be in contact with you for a while, but I believe the time for that has passed, and I would be delighted to take up a correspondence with you. Unless of course, you intend to move back to Canterlot.”

“If you had asked even a few weeks ago, I would have said yes in a heartbeat,” I laughed, “But… Ponyville’s my home now, as strange as it sounds, and I am loathe to abandon it. I hope you will come and visit some time though.”

“Of course, although I hope you return the favor. In fact, my youngest daughter should be getting her cutie mark anyday now, and I would be delighted if you joined us for her mark mitzvah. Unless I’ve terribly missed my guess she will get a mark for her saxophone playing, and I think it would help her if she had another earth-pony musician to mentor her.”

“Wait,” I said. “Your daughter is an earth pony? But-”

“My wife is an earth pony, as are most of my children. I’ve tried to help them as best I can, but… it would be nice if they could receive a formal academy education like I received, but I’m afraid that’s simply not in the cards for them. That’s why I try to find mentors such as yourself to help them in their development.”

“I would be delighted to,” I said, smiling at him as a doctor came in to inject more painkillers into my IV bag. “It’s funny actually, during the performance tonight, in that brief moment after we finished playing but before a tranquilizer dart lodged itself into my neck, I looked at that crowd of ponies clapping, and I thought it was so funny because most of those ponies didn’t actually care about what we played. We could have played the most beautiful sonata in Equestria or trotstep, and as long as it was in vogue, they would have applauded just the same. I don’t want to play for ponies like that anymore. I want to play for ponies who would actually appreciate my craft and perhaps instruct the next generation of musicians, although that will be difficult without a school that teaches earth ponies and-.”

I paused, a new idea entering my head. “Princess Luna, have you given any thought to opening up a royal academy of your own?”

“I have,” she said, “but we- I have not decided what it’s focus should be.”

“Well, with Celestia’s academy focusing mostly on magic and serving only unicorns, it might be nice if there was an academy that would teach anypony. I had to learn the cello on my own, and back when I was first starting, I would have traded a limb for a proper academy education, and I know there are plenty of other ponies in a situation similar to mine. Obviously, such a thing is your decision entirely, I merely wished to illustrate that there was need for it.”

The princess tapped her chin in thought. “Princess Luna’s Academy of Arts and Sciences,” she mused. “It does have a nice ring to it... and providing a higher education to all ponies in need is a worthy goal. We will start plans at once, and all we- I mean, I would ask of you is for your support in this project. My academy will need the finest teachers available, and I can think of nopony better to lead the music department. What say you?”

“I would love to,” I said. “But I don’t think I will be leaving Ponyville for the next few years.”

“We would expect nothing less,” Luna said. “As it was this town that proved pivotal to our redemption, and our orchestra is already based here, we shall make our throne in Ponyville. Assuming that the current Princess of Ponyville would not mind sharing her city with us, that is,” she added, shooting a sly grin at Twilight.

“I am hardly the Princess of Ponyville,” Twilight laughed, “In fact, I’m not even really sure what I am princess of, yet. Just let me keep the library as my demesne and I will be happy.”

“It is decided then,” Luna said. “Plans shall begin tomorrow morning, but for now we decree that everypony enjoy themselves tonight for it is truly worthy of celebration. Anypony caught frowning shall be in violation of that decree, and shall summarily be punished by severe tickling.” The other ponies laughed at that, but I had no plans on seeing if Luna intended to enforce that ordinance.

After that, the night seemed to stretch on forever as my friends and I celebrated the recent good news. At some point during the night, somepony found a karaoke machine, and in a room filled with musicians, it turns out the only pony capable of singing in the proper key was Rarity. Royal and Fiddlesticks got into a cider drinking contest, and were sloppily kissing each other by the end of the night, while the rest of us simply enjoyed the pleasure of each other’s company. Shortly after dawn, as the party finally broke up and several irritated orderlies went to work cleaning up the mess we had left behind, Vinyl pushed me back to my room where she curled up next to me in bed and quickly fell asleep. As I lay there, listening to my fiance breathing contentedly next to me, I could not think of a better way to end the day nor to end my time with the Royal Ponyville Orchestra.

The Royal Ponyville Orchestra

by Distaff Pope

Day 1 - Exiled

Day 2 - Nightmare in Ponyville

Day 3 - All Apologies

Day 4 - Laying the Groundwork

Day 5

Day 6

Day 7

Day 8

Day 9 (Part 1)

Day 9 Addendum: Vinyl's Journal

Day 9 (Part 3)

Day 10

Day 11

Day 12

Day 13

Day 14

A Nightmare Night's Dream (Part One)

A Nightmare Night's Dream (Part Two)

Interlude

Day 20: Recovery

Day 21: Departure

Day 22: Anthro-Con

A Very Vinyl Anthrocon

Day 23: The Diary of a Mad Mare

Days 24 and 25: Family Reunion

A Melody Redefined

Conversations and Other Pressing Engagements

All Good Things... (Part 1)

All Good Things... (Part 2)

In the Not Too Distant Future