Applejack and Rainbow Dash return to Manehattan and revive the Mysterious Mare-do-well. Of course, gangsters won't be the only thing they'll end up fighting...
After Applejack's aunt and uncle are killed by muggers, Applejack and Rainbow Dash return to Manehattan and revive the Mysterious Mare-do-well to help clean up the city. Of course, gangsters won't be the only thing they'll end up fighting. Oh, no. That would be too simple.
Applejack stepped off the carriage onto the dry ground. She glanced up at the sky, almost as if annoyed that it was such a bright and sunny day, almost as if the sun were mocking her. Sighing, she tugged the black hat further over her eyes and started walking. It felt strange, foreign, alien, and why wouldn’t it? It wasn’t her hat. The stetson she wore only came off for two reasons: bathing, and funerals.
Unfortunately, this was the second occasion.
Rainbow Dash hopped off the train next to her. She was a bit more vocal in her protests. “It shouldn’t be sunny,” she complained, bringing a hoof up to shield her eyes. “It’s a funeral, for Celestia’s sake. Besides, this is Manehattan, not Fillydelphia.” She paused, taking a closer look at the clear sky. “You know, I could totally get this place completely overcast in five minutes. Maybe three.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “It ain’t worth you gettin’ arrested over,” she said. She stopped and let Rainbow Dash catch up. “Thanks again fer comin’ with,” she whispered. “Means a lot t’ me.”
Rainbow Dash gave her a wink, even as she tried to stop her own black dress from riding up too high on her hips again. “You know I’d never leave you. Some ma-” She stopped suddenly, glancing around nervously, “Some... er... magic element of Loyalty I’d be, right?” she finished lamely.
Applejack flicked her tail, and it barely brushed against Rainbow’s leg. To a normal bystander, it would have looked accidental, but to Rainbow Dash, it meant a lot. “You’d be the worst,” she agreed. “Fit to be tied, I’d reckon.” She raised her eyebrow on that last sentence, leaving Rainbow blushing lightly.
“Not here, AJ,” she pleaded, casting a nervous glance at her wings.
“You started it.” The smirk on Applejack’s face slowly died as she looked forward and saw the large group of ponies there, seated in a circle, in front of two black caskets on stands. The Oranges had provided well for their final resting place, as evidenced by the large marble headstone with their names and cutie marks engraved. Applejack took a shuddering breath. She hadn’t known them very well, to be honest; but they were family and had treated her well, and being here was the least she could do.
“So sorry for your loss,” a nearby stallion murmured.
“Thank you,” Applejack replied, dropping her voice back into the Manehattan accent she had learned so many years ago. “I’m certain they appreciate you coming out today.”
They found their seats and waited, and, to her surprise, Applejack found herself with a tear rolling down her face.
The voice of the director seemed to fade into the background as it dawned on her that her Uncle and Aunt Orange were dead, and were never coming back.
* * *
Finally, after all the greetings, after all the condolences, after all the same phrases, and, in Rainbow Dash’s case, after all the little sandwiches that never did quite fill her up, the two travelers finally returned to their hotel room.
Applejack hadn’t taken two steps into the room when she heard Rainbow sigh in relief. Turning around, she saw that she had already taken the funeral dress off. She gave her a flat look.
Rainbow put up her hooves defensively. “Hey, it’s not like I don’t like it or anything; it just rides a bit high. Sweetie Belle’s gotten good, but she’s no Rarity.”
Applejack’s dress had been made by Rarity, and to be honest, were it not for the hat, she would have forgotten she was wearing a dress at all.
Actually...
“You know, I appear to be having a small bit of trouble with mine.”
Rainbow Dash stared in mild... fear? disgust? Applejack paused, blinking in confusion, before realizing that she had still been speaking in her Manehattan accent.
“Aw, horseapples,” she muttered.
Her next sentence died in her throat as a warm pegasus body suddenly appeared at her side. “That’s the AJ I know and love,” Rainbow whispered into her ear.
“The AJ ya know an’ love ain’t usually in the habit o’ wearin’ dresses,” Applejack said, letting all of her accent show through and enjoying the reward of feeling Rainbow’s heart rate speed up slightly. “Care to help her get back t’ her normal self?”
“S- sure,” Rainbow Dash said, reaching her wing out to help unhook the latches of the dress, but Applejack lifted a hoof to block it. Confusion turned to excitement as Applejack leaned in close, letting the pegasus smell the scent of apples in her mane that never did seem to go away.
“Do it th’ earth pony way,” Applejack whispered. “Use yer teeth.”
Rainbow Dash happily obliged.
* * *
The next morning, Rainbow Dash woke up the pegasus way, with wide stretches and wing extension exercises, and an hour and a half after Applejack, who had woken up the Apple Family way: awake and ready to greet the day about an hour or so before the sun was even up. She pushed a plate in front of Rainbow Dash, filled with still-steaming apple muffins.
“Good mornin’, cutie,” Applejack said. “Right on time, too. Two hours after me.”
“You know me too well,” Rainbow muttered, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. “How do you get up so early? And what do you do so early, anyway?”
“Ah work out.” She smiled as she tapped her flank. “And ya know it.”
“Seriously?” Rainbow Dash asked, trying to suppress a yawn. “This early in the morning?”
“It ain’t that early. And besides, it’s always a good time,” Applejack purred. She climbed onto the bed, crawled over towards Rainbow Dash, and gently straddled her, meeting Rainbow Dash’s eyes. “When Ah’m with you, that is,” she finished.
“Now, are ya gonna eat yer breakfast like a big pony, or should Ah feed you?”
Rainbow felt her breath catch in her throat as Applejack’s green eyes filled her vision. She licked her lips hungrily. “I think you know what I want,” she said.
Applejack pressed her forehead against the pegasus’ and breathed softly, letting her warm breath and scent linger in Rainbow’s nose and feeling her heart rate rise. “Ah know exactly what you want...”
With a smile, Rainbow Dash ran her tongue across her teeth expectantly. “You do?”
Applejack smiled. “Ah do... And Ah think it’s the same thing Ah want.” Suddenly, she jumped off the bed. “Too bad we got a train to catch in an hour, so yer gonna have to eat fast.”
Rainbow Dash let out a tortured groan and slammed her hooves against the bed in protest. “Applejack, you’re such a tease...”
“You wouldn’t love me any other way. Now eat.”
* * *
Forty minutes later, now fed and with their belongings packed, the two ponies headed down towards the train station.
“So, you think you’d ever want to live here?” Applejack asked.
Rainbow shook her head. “Too crowded. And I bet the guards are all uptight about flying restrictions.”
“Flying restrictions?”
“Yeah,” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Don’t fly too fast, don’t fly too low, rules like that. Every foal gets them pounded into their head in school.”
“Ah’ve never seen you care.”
“Because I don’t,” Rainbow said flippantly. “Rules keep you from having fun.”
“Rules keep you safe,” Applejack corrected.
“Yeah, but when you’re the only one flying, they’re pretty pointless. Besides, it’s not like Ponyville has a bunch of guards ready to lock me up just because I broke the flight velocity limit in a residential area.”
Now it was Applejack who rolled her eyes. “Just ‘cause you’re the only pony around doesn’t mean you shouldn’t follow the rules. I mean, look in that alley there. Just ‘cause there’s no one else around doesn’t mean it’s ok to be beatin’ on a mare like that. If'n it's wrong, it's wrong."
“Yeah, but that’s completely different. Flying doesn’t hurt anypony, and it feels...”
Both trailed off and spun back towards the alley. Sure enough, there was a stallion advancing on a mare, and it looked to be a very one-sided confrontation.
Applejack was about to intervene, and probably would have, had Rainbow Dash not interrupted first. “Hey! Leave her alone!”
"Piss off," the stallion growled. "She owes me money."
"I'll pay you. Two for one deal," Rainbow retorted.
Applejack was about to point out that only storekeepers say that, not customers, but Rainbow spun in mid air and slammed both hooves (hence her two for one reference) into his head, sending him flying backwards into the brick wall. Kicking up the knife he had held, Rainbow flung it away and it skittered away under a nearby dumpster.
The stallion got up and screamed as blood trickled down his face. "You're so dead!" he swore as he stumbled out the other exit. "I won't forget you!"
“Yeah? Good. Remember the mane, punk,” she spat, gesturing upwards, “because I’ll be watching for you.” With one last threatening wing-flare, Rainbow Dash nodded sharply and left the alley.
That should have been the end of it. Really, it should have been.
But Applejack noticed that Rainbow was uncharacteristically quiet on the train ride home.
* * *
Later that night, Applejack wriggled deeper into the covers and pulled Rainbow Dash closer. “You ok?” she asked. “You’ve been real quiet lately. That ain’t like you.”
Rainbow Dash was silent for a moment before blurting, “We gotta go back, AJ.”
Applejack pulled away slightly. “Back?”
“To Manehattan.”
“Why?”
“Did you see that? When I stood up to that dude? How he reacted? How she reacted? That place is lawless. They need a few good ponies there to put everypony in their place. That could totally be us.”
Applejack growled. “Yeah? Well, while you were shovin’ those little sandwiches in yer face, Ah was talkin’ to some of the other ponies there, and Ah learned that my aunt and uncle got killed standin’ up to one o’ them muggers, so you’ll excuse me if’n I ain’t exactly eager to follow in their hoofsteps.”
“But that’s just it, AJ!” Rainbow Dash said excitedly. “You and me, we can help avenge their deaths by cleaning up the city! We won’t let it happen to anypony else.”
Applejack snorted and rolled over, facing the wall away from Rainbow Dash as if protesting this craziness. “And how in the hay do you propose we do that?”she asked facetiously. “Put on disguises and run around the city at night, beating up criminals until they’re too frightened to come out?”
Even though she was facing the wall, she could almost hear the smile spread across Dash’s face. “Yeah. Maybe it’s time Mare Do Well rose again.”
Applejack spun around to stare incredulously at her grinning marefriend. “Ah was joking.”
“Well, I’m not!”
Applejack brought a hoof up to her temple. “Sugarcube, are you listenin’ to yerself? You want us to drop everything and go down to Manehatten, prolly gettin’ shot at or beaten up, maybe even killed, to try an’ help some random ponies?”
“You got it!” Rainbow nuzzled Applejack tenderly. “And it’s totally awesome that you said ‘us’.”
Applejack did not return the nuzzle. “You’re sayin’...”
“We do this together!” Rainbow Dash sat up, excitement coursing through her body. “Tag team it, just like you guys did before. We need flight, speed, awesomeness, or wit? I’m in. We need strength, endurance, and sexiness? We send you. We’ll just trade off when we need to.”
“You’re insane,” Applejack said dismissively, even as her cheeks flushed slightly at Rainbow’s last adjective. “Why, we’d need two new outfits, we’d need new designs, we’d need some extra protection built in and maybe some weapons, we’d need to organize our switcheroos, we’d need to design her personality and especially her voice, if she even talks this time, we’d need to set ground rules, we’d need to figure out how to send a message to each other, we’d need a lotta things that just we don’t have.”
Rainbow Dash squeed lightly. “Is that it? That won’t be hard at all!” She leaned down and rested her head on Applejack’s chest. “Maybe you’re the smart one.”
“Ah’ve always been the smart one,” Applejack retorted, gently stroking Rainbow’s mane. After a few minutes of deep thinking, she sighed. “Ah gotta think about it. Ask me tomorrow.”
Knowing that that was as good an answer as she was going to get tonight, Rainbow nuzzled herself deeper into Applejack's chest and soon fell asleep.
* * *
Rainbow Dash woke up shivering. She opened one eye to see the bed sadly devoid of both blanket and orange earth pony.
Rubbing her eyes and grumbling slightly at being rudely awakened this way, she pulled herself out of bed, stretched her wings, and stumbled down the stairs.
Dragging herself into the kitchen, she found a stack of pancakes had magically appeared on the table. Groggily, she walked over and picked the top one up with her mouth. It quickly became apparent that this was a bad idea, as the pancake in question was fresh off the griddle and very hot.
“Aaaghhh!” she screamed, quickly brushing out her mouth and spitting pancake crumbs everywhere. Well, one bright side: she was awake now.
Apple Bloom, seated at the table with her own little stack of pancakes, giggled at Rainbow’s misfortune. “Good mornin’, Rainbow!” she said cheerfully.
Big Mac, who had been the one making the pancakes, didn’t say anything; but Rainbow was sure he was laughing at her on the inside.
“Eh, I wasn’t that hungry anyway,” Rainbow said dismissively. “Have you seen Applejack?”
“Ah ‘hink she went to th’ west orchard,” Apple Bloom said around a mouthful of pancake. “She said somethin’ about clearin’ her mind.”
“I’ll bring her a pancake,” Rainbow Dash said, picking one up with a wing. “I bet she’d like that.”
As the pegasus left, Apple Bloom grinned. “She’s gonna eat it herself, huh?”
“Eeyup.”
* * *
Applejack stood in her orchard, deep in the cluster of trees. Her hooves were buried up to her fetlock in dirt, and her forehead was pressed firmly against the largest tree of the group. Though Rainbow couldn’t hear words, her mouth was moving, silent words spoken as she tried to connect with her mother earth.
Whenever Applejack needed time alone to think, she came here. It had taken Rainbow Dash forever to find AJ’s thinking spot, but now she could find it easily.
That didn’t mean she didn’t respect her privacy, though.
Rainbow waited until Applejack had lifted her head before walking into the clearing, making sure her wings were spread and brushing against the branches noisily so that Applejack wouldn't be startled by her appearance.
She had tried that once. That hadn’t ended well.
“Hey, AJ,” she greeted her softly. “How long have you been here?”
“Couple hours. Ah’ve just been thinkin’,” Applejack answered. She pulled her hooves out of the dirt, sat down, and patted the ground next to her in invitation to sit, which Rainbow quickly accepted.
“You know me,” Applejack started, staring at the dirt. “Ah’m a farmpony. Ah love these trees, Ah love this land, and the city ain’t the place fer me.”
Rainbow nodded.
“But everythin’ you said made sense. And Ah can tell you’re goin’, yes or yes; so the question becomes, do Ah love you or myself more?”
Rainbow Dash had certainly not planned for this conversation, and she certainly hadn’t thought this far ahead. She had no idea what to say to this, but went ahead and spoke anyway. “I can’t keep you from your trees, Applejack; they’re part of you.”
“Yeah, but so’re you. And Ah’ve made mah decision.”
Rainbow licked her lips and braced herself.
“This ain’t gonna be a full-time job, is it?”
Rainbow laughed exuberantly. “No. We’ll have time for breaks and coming home. I promise."
Applejack smiled. “Alright. Ah’ll do it. But we also need an out.”
Rainbow waved a hoof dismissively. “I’m good at crashing. We can fake our death.”
“We’re gonna need money.”
“Cloudpushing. Barely an interview needed and I’m working that day.”
“We’re gonna need our friends’ help on this.”
“We can go right now!”
Applejack couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Rainbow...”
“What? I’m serious!”
Applejack leaned over and gave Rainbow a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose. “It’s six-thirty in the mornin’, sugarcube. Half our friends ain’t even awake yet.”
A few weeks later, two Mare-do-wells stood in the rear inspiration room of Carousel Boutique. They looked similar, but there were slight differences between them. One was clearly a pegasus, and the other was likely an earth pony. One’s rear legs were finely toned and developed, while the other looked more sleek and aerodynamic. Other than that, they looked identical, from the hat to the cape with the clasp engraven with a stylized 'M' to the purple costume that covered their bodies.
Applejack lifted her mask and inspected the suit she wore. “I gotta say, Rarity, you really outdid yourself this time.”
Rainbow Dash lifted hers as well. She wiggled her hips experimentally. “Yeah,” she added. “This spandex is good stuff. It’s fitting just right and isn’t riding up at all.”
Rarity walked... nay, strutted in front of the two, happily explaining what she had done. “It only looks like spandex, dearie. It’s thicker and can help diffuse impact. It is also magic infused, providing warmth and protection.”
A third Mare-do-well, this one with the middling and slightly awkward proportions of a growing filly, came into view. Rarity gestured to her without looking over, almost as if this were rehearsed beforehoof. “I made a prototype outfit, which Sweetie Belle has graciously decided to model for me, and which we will use to demonstrate.”
Sweetie Belle bounced once happily. “This is so cool!”
Both Applejack and Rainbow did a double take. The sound that came from the filly was definitely not Sweetie Belle’s high-pitched voice.
Rarity smoothly continued (and with no small amount of pride in her voice), “As you can clearly see, the masks have been woven with a voice disguise spell, which I designed myself. It will change your voice, but not your accent, so do watch out for that.”
Applejack glowered before pulling down her mask. “Ah don’t have an accent,” she grumbled.
“I am Rainbow Dash, and I... Whoa,” Rainbow Dash said, experimentally poking at her mask. “It really does change my voice! I sound... I sound...”
“Like I have a cold,” Rainbow Dash finished honestly.
Rarity sniffed. “Nopony appreciates genius in its time,” she said dismissively. She resumed her pacing. “The material is thin, providing flexibility, but thanks to numerous enchantments, it is also is warm and waterproof, which will be good in Manehattan snow. It also has the ability--” Rarity spun, shooting a blast of magic at Sweetie Belle, who merely crossed her hooves in front of her body defensively. To the surprise of Rainbow and Applejack, the blast ricocheted off, going straight through Rarity’s roof.
Rarity looked up at the new hole in mild bemusement. “...to deflect magic,” she finished absentmindedly. “I can honestly say I didn’t plan for that.” Hitching a smile back on her face, she turned back to the two larger Mare-do-wells. “Obviously, this is a last-resort measure, as the fabric is resistant but not impervious, so don’t go jumping in a ring of unicorns and expect to come out unharmed.” She returned and lit her horn, and both capes fanned out as if on display. “The capes are special for each of you. Rainbow, yours is light and tear-away, so if something happens and you need your wings, the cape can rip off and leave you free. Applejack, yours is reinforced along all the seams and is made of a much more... special material.”
“What kind of special?” Applejack asked.
In response, Rarity turned and gestured at a bookshelf, where they suddenly noticed Sweetie Belle was standing rather high up. Without any warning, she wrapped the ends of the cape around her hooves and jumped off. The cape snapped rigid, forming a hang glider of sorts that let her glide gently to the ground, where she landed with a flourish.
Both Mare-do-wells had expressionless faces thanks to their masks, but Rarity sensed that behind both, there was an identical look of awe. She tittered. “Yes, it is rather impressive.” She continued her strutting. “The medallions have a charm on them that Twilight will finish. When one vibrates, both will, so you can use that as a paging mechanism, or to 'tag in' if you want. It can be either pattern activated or voice activated, so choose a phrase that you wouldn’t normally say under duress.”
“Kindof like a safe word,” Rainbow said, poking experimentally at the medallion.
Rarity kept her head high, even as her left eye twitched once. “To use a crude term, yes.” She cleared her throat. “Your belts have smoke bombs and flashbang pods, courtesy of Zecora. Each side has one kind, so be sure you remember which is which.”
Applejack looked down and examined her belt. The left side had longer rod-like pods, while her right had rounder pods. Upon closer observation, she could see where the round ones were like eggs, but they had been resealed with something purple.
“Which one’s this one?” Rainbow asked, pulling one of the longer pods out of the left side of her belt.
“Flashbang,” Rarity answered, a hint of nervousness entering her voice. “Put that away.”
Rainbow nodded and attempted to, but it slipped out of her teeth. She reached out to catch it with a wing, but hit it instead, sending it flying across the room. When the pod hit the ground, it exploded in a bright flash and a loud bang reverberated through the shop, sending four disoriented ponies tumbling to the ground, clutching their heads or covering their ears in pain.
“How ‘bout that,” Applejack muttered, rubbing her eyes furiously. “Does just what it says on the label.”
“I did warn you,” Rarity agreed, gently massaging her ringing ears. “Obviously they will affect you, too, so do use caution.” She drew herself up, shook her mane back into place, and continued. “As I was saying... the hats have an emergency distress signal. Pull out the lining and both Twilight and I will know where you are.”
“Why is that an emergency only thing?” Rainbow Dash had to ask.
Rarity answered as if it were blindingly obvious. “Because then you’ll ruin the hat, of course!” She rolled her eyes. “Honestly, Rainbow Dash, you and your blatant disrespect for fashion and all the hard work involved...”
Sensing an incoming conflict, Applejack intervened. “So, are we good to go?” she asked.
Rarity nodded. “Ready to go out and fight crime. Have fun, you two!”
“Ah will,” Applejack muttered as she left.
“Yeah," Rainbow said, much more enthusiastically. "This is gonna be great!”
After storing their suits in the special garment bags Rarity had provided, the two soon-to-be vigilantes headed out. Rainbow jumped off the ground and pumped a hoof into the air. “This just feels so real now! We’re ready to go! And it’s awesome how cool our friends have been about it.”
“You bet they are!” Rainbow agreed. “Hey, I never asked, what did your family say when you told them you were leaving?”
“...”
Rainbow skittered in front of Applejack, stopping her short. “You didn’t tell them?” she demanded.
“Ah was plannin’ to...” Applejack defended herself weakly.
“Applejack!" Rainbow suppressed the urge to facehoof. "It’s been almost two months! You were going to tell them three weeks ago!”
“And Ah meant to! It’s just... Ah didn’t. Ah don’t know how they’ll react, if they’ll think Ah’m abandonin’ them, Ah don’t know if Ah can look Apple Bloom in the eye and leave like this...”
“You can always back out,” Rainbow said sincerely, resting a hoof comfortingly on her shoulder. “I don’t want to force you to go.”
“Ah made my choice,” Applejack retorted, before sighing in defeat. “Guess there’s no time like the present.”
“Want me to come with you?” Rainbow offered.
Applejack shook her head. “Ah think this is somethin’ Ah have to do myself.”
* * *
“So now you know why I gotta leave," Applejack finished weakly. Confessing her departure to her brother and sister was definitely harder than she was expecting. Apple Bloom's expression had gone from surprise to disbelief to sadness, with perhaps a hint of betrayal; and Big Mac's unchanging expression certainly hadn't made Applejack feel any better. The presence of Babs Seed, who was visiting over the summer and had just arrived that morning, was also unexpected and unhelpful; but that was because Babs had taken it upon herself to make silly faces at Applejack during the more serious parts of her explanation.
Big Mac stood stoically. “Eeyup,” he said simply.
“And y’all will be fine without me?”
Big Mac nodded and spoke. “Do what you have to do, AJ. We'll get along fine." He gestured to the two fillies next to him, both strong enough and willing to help in the harvest.
Apple Bloom crossed her forelegs defiantly. “Still think Ah could get a cutie mark in crime fightin’,” she muttered.
"We could get us a cutie mark in real fightin'," Babs suggested, jabbing a hoof into the air in Apple Bloom’s general direction, but the identical glares from both Applejack and Big Mac quickly killed that idea.
Applejack ruffled Apple Bloom's mane. “It ain’t permanent, Apple Bloom. Ah’ll be back. Promise.”
Apple Bloom gave her sister a hug. “All right,” she said, “but you’d better.”
Babs nodded. "And if you don't, we'll come n’ bring you back ourselves," she threatened, smacking her hooves together. "Don't think we won't, neither."
Applejack smiled as she left to finish packing. All in all, she approved of this last meeting with her family.
In a public park in the heart of Manehattan, Rainbow lay flat on her back, gazing up at the clear sky. Around her were scattered various food wrappers, all purchased from street vendors until Applejack wouldn’t give her any more money. She watched various clouds float by and then sighed. “You know,” she remarked, “it’s times like these I wish I’d fallen in love with a pegasus, ‘cause then we could just build us a cloudhouse and call it good.”
Applejack didn’t even look up from the table where she sat poring over housing pamphlets. “Yeah, but then we’d have to pay for sky permits, and those ain’t cheap either.”
“Really?” Rainbow asked, looking over in mild interest. “Ponyville barely charges anything.”
“Why would they?” Applejack asked absentmindedly, still skimming the page. “Yours is the only real cloudhouse we have.”
“Yep,” Rainbow said with a sigh. “Best thing I got from my parents. Aside from my life, you know.” She wiggled her wings. “Or maybe these.”
Applejack said nothing.
“Maybe it’s my confidence,” Rainbow mused. “I can do anything, after all.”
Applejack said nothing.
“Or maybe my awesomeness... Ooh!” Rainbow Dash perked up as a new idea occurred to her. “Do you think they could bottle up my awesomeness and sell it? It’d be great as cologne or something.”
Rainbow expected Applejack to comment on her word choice, but Applejack just turned a page and kept skimming.
“Maybe it’s my totally awesome cutie mark. Wait. That was all me, wasn’t it?”
Applejack made a grunt that might have been in the affirmative.
“Or maybe it’s my rainbowness. I have never seen another pony with these colors.”
Applejack finally spoke. “Ah think the best thing you ever got from anywhere is sittin’ right here at this table.” Though she didn’t look up, a slow, sly smile spread across her face. “Or maybe it’s that bridle sittin’ under the rope in the little side pocket of...”
“You know what AJ I’m going to go ask ponies who live here gonna get their opinion on where to live have fun looking bye!” Rainbow said quickly and without any punctuation at all. After a furtive glance at her wings to ensure they weren’t moving, Rainbow Dash turned and, true to her name, dashed away.
She stopped when she noticed a red stallion sitting on a bench, apparently drawing. He had been positioned facing them.
She laid a hoof threateningly on his paper, forcing it down. When he looked up in surprise, she met his eyes angrily. “Were you spying on us?” she demanded.
He shook his head. “Not in so many words.”
Rainbow looked down at the paper, and was mildly taken aback. He had drawn a candid sketch of them, with Applejack sitting at the table and smiling while Rainbow stretched out, relaxing on the grass.
“This isn’t bad,” she said, unsure if she should feel flattered or violated.
The stallion rolled his eyes as he grabbed the page back. “You flatter me. It’s quick, rough, and ugly. I’m actually a music pony, but sometimes the lyrics just don’t come. So I do other things until my muse comes back.”
“Can’t you just go buy a new one?” Rainbow asked, cocking her head.
The stallion laughed. “‘Muse’ is another word for inspiration. Let’s see...” he said, tapping a hoof against his chin as he tried to think of a relevant example. “You fly, right? And you fly because you have a reason to. You could just walk, but you fly. You have an inspiration. Your reason for flying. Your muse, if you will.”
“I fly ‘cause I can,” Rainbow shrugged. “That’s all there is to it.”
The stallion let out an annoyed ‘hmf’. “Ok, bad example. I was always bad with symbolism, you know?”
Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes. “But you’re a musician,” she accused. “Isn’t music supposed to have all kinds of hidden meanings? Like that one song that sounds like it’s about going swimming, but it’s about actually about getting drunk and having a threesome?”
The artist flicked an ear in annoyance. “I prefer songs that tell stories,” he said shortly. “I think music has more power than just words, and a story told in music is the most powerful form of communication, and can affect not just the mind and the ears, but the heart and you’re not listening anymore, are you?”
“Wazzat?” Rainbow jerked her head up. “Nah, I was paying attention.”
The stallion rolled his eyes and went back to his drawing.
“Actually, I did have a reason for coming over here.”
“As long as it’s not throwing vegetables at me,” the stallion muttered.
Rainbow cocked her head before deciding not to ask. “Nah. I was just wondering if you knew any good places to live around here.”
The stallion looked up. “You know, that one I might be able to help on.”
* * *
Applejack and Rainbow Dash followed their landlady, an older, short earth pony mare, on what could be called a tour of the place. This was the last place on their list, and Rainbow was definitely getting sick of looking at apartments. Even Tank, with his supply of indicate patience, seemed to be getting tired as well.
“At least this one doesn’t smell like mothballs,” Rainbow Dash mumbled, looking around, noting that she couldn’t fly in here, either. Pegasi aren’t a fan of small ceilings, but she had had worse.
Applejack had to agree. Also, seeing no evidence of rats was always a good sign.
“You sure you wanted one bedroom?” the landlady... screeched? squawked? There certainly wasn’t a singing cutie mark under her dress.
“Yeah,” Applejack said. “We’re... together.”
“That’s cool, right?” Rainbow Dash had to ask.
Their landlady gave them a flat look. “As long as you pay your rent on time, I don’t care if you’re banging goats in there.”
Rainbow Dash shuddered at that particular mental image.
“I’ll give you some time to think,” she said, turning to leave.
Rainbow poked her head into the closet and looked around. “This isn’t so bad,” she said. “It’s a bit tiny, but not bad.” She looked down and noticed Tank seemed to be content. Then again, they had been on the move for most of the afternoon, and he probably would have been content in a cardboard box down by the river.
Applejack inspected the shower. “Looks like the hot water works.” She poked her head out, catching a view of Rainbow Dash from behind. She dropped into a more inviting tone. “And the bathtub is nice and large. You know what that means, right? Ah ain't talkin' 'bout gettin' clean, either.”
As Applejack had expected, that got a, for lack of a better term, ‘rise’ out of the pegasus. “Not funny, AJ,” she spat, doing that funny shoulder roll pegasi do when trying to ensure that their wings stay down.
Applejack laughed. “It was too.” She entered the bedroom and threw herself on the bed. To her surprise, it was comfortable. This was a most welcome change from the earlier apartments. She stretched out and sighed lightly. “Rainbow, you gotta try this.”
“No way. Nuh-uh. I’m not fallin for your tricks again!” Rainbow maintained, glaring at her wings as if daring them to react.
“For serious.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, but did join Applejack on the bed. Her eyes widened in surprise. “This is a nice mattress,” she said, pushing down and watching it spring back up.
The landlady poked her head back in. “That’s brand new,” she said.
“It’s no cloud, but it’s good enough for me,” Rainbow said, rolling over onto her stomach.
The landlady nodded. “Yep. Couldn’t get the bloodstains out of the old one, had to get a new one.”
Rainbow’s eyes shot open. “What was that?”
The landlady acted as though she hadn’t heard that. “So, made a decision?”
Applejack nodded. “We’ll take it.”
The landlady might have smiled, if it were possible to smile when your face looked like you'd sucked on a lemon for the past hour. “Great. Come to the office, we’ll get the paperwork all worked out.”
Rainbow Dash wasn’t entirely sure she liked the way the landlady had used the word ‘work’.
* * *
“I have never seen so many papers in my life,” Rainbow Dash grumbled as she walked through the door of their new apartment. “And you reading them all through twice didn’t help any, either.”
“Ah’m sorry,” Applejack said, in a tone that clearly indicated that she was not. “Just wanted t’ make sure Ah knew what we were gettin’ into. Ya know Ah hate contracts with tricky wording.”
Both ponies looked at each other, and annoyance dissipated into acceptance as both understood. Applejack had been suspicious of contracts ever since she had needed to take out a loan for the farm a few years ago. Profits had been better than usual recently, and it should be paid off in a few years. Problem was, the contract specifically stated that if Applejack, as signer of the contract, were to get married, the contract would pass into the name of her husband. Rainbow Dash was and is undeniably female, and very proud to be. Therefore, if the two were to wed, the bank’s lawyers could--and would--construe it as a breach of contract, and take the farm.
Obviously, neither wanted this to happen.
“So,” Rainbow Dash said, fiddling with her hooves. “Can we bring out Mare-do-well tonight?”
“Thought we agreed to wait until we were settled?” Applejack asked.
“We are, see? We have a place to live, we’ve got an awesome bed (that we need to break in, by the way), what more do we need, right?"
“Food fer dinner?" Applejack suggested flatly.
Rainbow’s ears fell. “Right. Knew I was forgetting something.”
Applejack laughed at her expression. "You don't really think Ah'd come all this way with no food, didja? You should know me better'n that. I brought us some apples in the little suitcase."
"All right!" Rainbow rushed over and pulled one out, but Applejack smacked it out of her hoof before she could take a bite.
"Rainbow Dash!" Applejack scolded. "Ah ain't havin' us move in to a new place just t' have plain old apples for our first dinner!"
"But you love apples," Rainbow protested.
"Exactly," Applejack said, picking up the discarded apple, "and that's why Ah'm makin' somethin' great with 'em for tonight. You like apple fritters, right?"
Rainbow nodded and grinned. Granny Smith was the real baker in that family, but Applejack was no slacker in the kitchen. "Makes sense." Her smile turned devious as Applejack turned to walk away. "So, do we get to break the bed in tonight, too?"
Applejack looked behind her. "We'll see," she said with a small half-smile before turning and walking away.
Rainbow Dash’s face fell. “But that usually means no, doesn’t it? AJ, please don’t tell me that means no. Please, AJ? ...AJ? AJ?”
* * *
"It did mean no," Rainbow said sadly as she climbed into bed beside Applejack, whose body position clearly indicated that there would be no breaking in of the bed tonight.
“Cheer up,” Applejack said, even as she pulled the covers higher, “We still got the rest of our summer here. Maybe even the rest of our lives. We’ll have plenty of chances.”
“But...” Rainbow Dash bit her lower lip. “First time...”
“Ah’ll make it up to you. Promise.”
Rainbow Dash yawned. “Yeah, great. You’d better...” And with that, she was fast asleep.
Applejack giggled lightly. That muscle relaxant she had slipped into Rainbow's dinner had worked better than she had expected. She went to her suitcase and opened the little side pocket.
* * *
Rainbow Dash woke up groggily, with a slightly metallic taste in her mouth. She tried to reach a hoof to her mouth to clear it, but to her annoyance, her hoof didn’t seem to want to move. Neither did her other hoof. Nor did her rear hooves. Or her wings, for that matter.
Grumbling, she shook her head to wake herself up a little more, and saw Applejack standing above her, with her hat on her head and a gleam in her eye. She looked to the side and saw that there were ropes holding down each of her four hooves and there were even a smaller set for her wings. She then realized that the metallic taste came from the bridle in her mouth.
All sleepiness was quickly forgotten and replaced with excitement. “Oh, you looped them underneath the bed,” Rainbow observed, giving her bonds a gentle tug. “Clever.”
Applejack smiled. “Ah try.”
“Am I gonna have to beg?” Rainbow Dash asked, her eyes shining hopefully.
Applejack shook her head. “Not tonight. Tonight’s a special night.” She slowly dragged a hoof up the length of Rainbow’s outstretched body. “But don't get used t’ it or nothin’.”
Rainbow Dash licked her teeth in anticipation as she watched Applejack turn away and pick up the crop.
Two days later (time well spent bonding with Tank), the marks had faded enough that Rainbow Dash felt confident in leaving the apartment again. The day after that, Rainbow Dash burst back into their apartment around noon.
“Applejack!” she called. “I’ve got great news!”
This news was temporarily put on hold as Applejack, who still had not found a job yet, grabbed her and started shaking her with pent-up exasperation. “Ah’ve cleaned this entire dump twice! Ah’m going to go crazy if’n Ah don’t start doing somethin’!”
Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Sleep?” she suggested.
“No!” Applejack snarled. “Ah meant like a job and you know it.”
Rainbow’s smile never flickered. “Sleep... with me?”
“No!” Applejack growled, pushing Rainbow Dash away with a hoof.
“That’s ok,” Rainbow Dash said. “I just wanted to tell you that I finally found the weather office and I’ve totally got a job now. I start tomorrow.” Her smile turned devious. “So until then, we could celebrate.”
“Ah know what you’re thinkin’, and the answer’s no.”
Rainbow Dash gave her the cutest look she could muster, opening her eyes wide and jutting out her lower lip.
Applejack shook her head. “No. No. Ah’m not fallin’ for that this time.”
Rainbow Dash kept the puppy dog eyes on full-strength.
“No. No. Ah mean it.” Applejack crossed her forelegs decisively. “Nothin’ doin’. Ah don’t care if you are adorable when you do that face.”
Rainbow Dash didn’t change her expression. "Love me," she whispered.
Applejack threw down her hat in frustration. “Fine!” she growled. “Just a quick roll, then Ah’m out.” She sighed. “That just ain’t fair. You know Ah can’t resist that look.”
Rainbow Dash just smiled as she picked up the hat in her mouth, flipped it up onto her own head, and then turned and walked towards the bed.
* * *
Applejack would never say it to Rainbow’s face, of course, but she had really needed that break. It was relieving and confidence-building at the same time. She felt very confident walking down the street, and held her head high. After all, she was a farm pony, a real hard worker. Folks would be stumblin’ all over themselves to hire her.
* * *
A little over a week later, Rainbow Dash came home from work to see Applejack laying despondently on the bed, face down, with a half-eaten apple pie on the nightstand. Rainbow blinked. This was a lot more serious than she had thought.
“Hey, AJ, you ok?” she asked.
Applejack’s voice was muffled by the pillow, and so her reply sounded like “Whashiooike?”, which Rainbow Dash interpreted as, ‘what’s it look like?’
Rainbow walked to the side of the bed, and with a quick flap of her wings, landed on top of the earth pony, straddling her so that her body was perpendicular to Applejack. “Talk to me, AJ,” she said, lifting her hips enough so that Applejack could rotate to face her.
A few minutes later, Applejack accepted the invitation, and rolled to face the pegasus.
Rainbow sighed and rubbed her back leg. “About time. I was gettin’ a good workout there.”
“‘tleast you were doing something,” Applejack muttered, dejectedly pushing her mane out of her eyes. “Feel so useless here.”
“AJ,” Rainbow said, gently chiding. “You’re not useless.”
“Then explain why we’re not Mare-do-wellin’ right now even though we've been here almost a month."
“Because we decided we’d get settled before...”
“Ah decided.”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “We decided. And I decided that you can’t call yourself useless.”
"Oh yeah?" Applejack asked sourly. "What're you gonna do about it?"
Rainbow's smile turned devious again as she reached over to pick up the apple pie. "Maybe I'll pour this apple pie filling on you and then clean it up."
Applejack snorted in annoyance. "Ya do know that sex is not the answer to everythin', right?"
"You're totally right, AJ," Rainbow answered gleefully, trying hard--and failing--to suppress a giggle. "Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question, and 'yes' is the answer."
Applejack stared at her. "Where did you hear that, and how long have you waited to use that?"
Rainbow shrugged. "I think I heard it from Lyra. And not too long. A couple weeks. Months, actually. Maybe it was last year?"
Applejack rolled her eyes. Rainbow lowered herself down on top of her, leaning in until their noses touched. “So, what do you say?” she asked seductively.
“Git off.”
Rainbow’s face fell, but she obeyed.
The two ponies lay there for a while. Rainbow Dash wouldn’t have minded leaving and going flying, but she felt like Applejack needed her.
This suspicion was confirmed almost an hour later when Applejack rolled over and said, “Ah’m sorry, Rainbow. Ah didn’t mean t’ snap at you like that. It’s just...”
Rainbow waited patiently, and finally the dam broke.
“Ah’ve been supportin’ mah family for forever, ya know? It’s been me what keeps food on th’ table. And here, Ah ain’t doing squat. Ah’m fully dependent on ya and it hurts, Rainbow. It really does.”
Rainbow would have liked to put a hoof around her shoulder and tell her it wasn’t a big deal, but something told her staying silent was her best option.
“Ah just... It’d be like you losin’ flight fer a while. Part a’ you’s gone, an’ it hurts! Ah feel like... Ah feel like Ah ain’t myself.”
Rainbow thought for a second, and then rested a hoof on Applejack’s chin. “I still love you,” she said.
Applejack sighed. “And Ah guess that’s all that matters, right?”
“Unless you’re seeing another mare on the side,” Rainbow said with a masterfully straight face. “That would bother me a little bit.”
Applejack hit her with her hat. “Ah’m serious,” she said, but a tiny smile played at her lips.
Rainbow snuggled close. “Every once in a while, you hit a thunderhead when you don’t mean to. It hurts. It happens to everypony. But you can’t stop flying. You gotta keep going through. And I think you’re stubborn enough to keep flying through that thunderhead and I think you’re gonna make it.”
“Thanks, Ah think,” Applejack said. Both lay next to the other for a while, the silence only interrupted by their calm breathing.
“Hey, Rainbow?” Applejack finally said.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. And Ah mean it for reals.”
“Don’t mention it.”
* * *
Pep talk notwithstanding, Applejack was still in a dour mood the next afternoon as she continued her job hunt. Or, rather, the good mood she had begun the day with was quickly diminishing after being rejected twice before lunch.
"’Not enough experience’, eh?" she griped. "Well, ya don't say. But how am Ah supposed t' get experience if'n nopony will hire me without it?"
Applejack had been asking herself that same question for nigh on four weeks now, and she still had no answer. Her dark musings were interrupted by a grumbling in her stomach.
"Now of all times," she mumbled. She looked around and spotted a bakery close. Maybe she could drown her sorrows in apple treats, because as much as she wanted to, she certainly couldn't drown them in Rainbow's feathers.
At least, not right then.
Shaking those thoughts off, she pushed her way through the glass doors and began scanning the wares. The thought of buying the stale, dry store-made treats when compared to the amazing things Granny Smith could create almost made her sick, but not eating would make her even sicker.
She hated lose-lose situations.
“Ah’ll take two o’ those,” she said, jabbing at the apple fritters.
The young mare working there quickly wrapped them. Applejack paid and felt a part of herself die a little inside as she unwrapped them and ate them.
This feeling was promptly replaced by frustration, the kind that only a master feels from seeing a mistake made only by an unlearned apprentice.
“What, didja use fuji apples at this time in the season? Ah know they’re cheaper and all, but if’n y’all’re gonna bake with ‘em, next time, don’t! Any kindo’ pippin would be better. Heck, Ah’d even settle fer a McIntosh at this rate, but Ah’d wager that the baker what made this thing can’t tell a Granny Smith from a Jonagold!”
Applejack looked up to realize that the young mare was staring in confusion. Applejack sighed, slightly depressed that such a fine rant (with accompanying accent override) had been wasted. She switched back into her high-class Manehattan accent.
“I must say, whomever has been baking these must have been not playing with a full deck, for they really don’t know the first thing about the various kinds of apples and their uses. I am, to put it frankly, disappointed.”
The young mare snapped out of her daze and nodded, then shook her head. “Yes. No. I mean... um... it was me, but I didn’t mean to. I specialize in cakes, usually. The colt who usually does the pastries quit two weeks ago.”
Applejack made a ‘hmf’ noise. That explained a lot.
“But you seem to know a lot about apples,” she continued.
Applejack nodded proudly. “Yep!” She turned and gestured at her cutie mark. “Born ‘n raised on an apple orchard. Ah know apples and bakin’ with ‘em like th’ back o’ mah hoof.”
The mare raised a hoof, wordlessly asking her to stay put. “Let me go get my boss.”
* * *
Sometimes, ponies have nothing to do. While some in this situation might do something like take a nap, others involve themselves in pondering questions of life, questions about the universe, and the purpose of existence. Some ponies create new ideas, some think of ways to inspire others, and still others attempt to better themselves through learning. Rainbow Dash was no stranger to being bored or pondering. Her current conundrum, though, was much more important to her than silly things like world peace. How was she going to get Applejack smiling again? She had tried just about everything she could think of, but nothing was working. Even playfully licking her cutie mark had ceased to get a rise out of the earth pony, and that had always worked before. She somehow needed a new source of confidence, but what?
Her deep thoughts were interrupted by a nudging on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and turned to see a little white unicorn colt, probably a little younger than Scootaloo, holding a watering can in shaky yellow magic. Rainbow realized that she must have been sleeping in his little garden plot.
“What are you doin' 'ere?” he asked, a hint of suspicion in his voice.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” Rainbow asked in reply, leaning up and stretching her wings. “I’m sleeping and thinking great thoughts. Awesome thoughts. Thoughts that would blow your little mind with their awesomeness, that's how great they are.”
The colt looked as though he seriously doubted that claim. “Why are you on our roof?” he asked.
“Because I like sleeping in trees, and Manehattan has no trees, so up top of a building in a garden is about as close as I can get.”
“What about in the park?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Guards kick you out if you try to sleep there. I know. I tried.”
“I think you’re a bum,” the colt accused. "I'm gonna go get my mom."
Rainbow glared indignantly. “Am not! And even if I was, I’d still be the most awesomest bum ever. And the fastest.”
The colt cocked his head. “Prove it.”
Rainbow smiled before standing up and falling backwards off the balcony. The colt dropped the can and rushed up to the edge, only to have his world rocked as Rainbow Dash shot back up, the shock waves sending him spinning out of control. When he finally regained his balance, he watched in awe as Rainbow Dash flew, starting and stopping and looking just like a giant blue pinball she was moving so fast. In finale, she flew up high and brought down a cloud, kicking it and releasing a little thunder and a spark of lightning that lit her mane up like a firework. She landed and skidded to a stop. “How ‘bout them apples?” she asked.
The colt couldn’t answer, as his jaw was currently on the ground. “I want to do that,” he whispered.
Rainbow Dash laughed and ruffled his mane. “Good luck! Nopony will ever be as awesome as me! Name’s Rainbow Dash.”
“B- Bowl Cut,” he shakily responded in kind.
“Nice to meet you,” Rainbow grinned, giving him a hoof bump. “Good luck on your quest to awesomeness!”
Proudly, she turned to leave, only to run into a Royal Guard, wearing the same flat expression that was typical of every guard.
“Hey!” she greeted him brightly. “Did you see that, too?”
* * *
Rainbow Dash glared darkly at the ground as she walked towards home. “Citations for misuse of public rain clouds, a noise violation, reckless flying, trespassing, and he didn’t want my autograph. Worst. Day. Ever.”
Added to this was the fact that she still had no idea how to cheer up Applejack. She thought of her friends. What would Pinkie Pie do? Probably throw her a party, but she didn't have any friends here. Besides, she didn't feel like getting two noise violations in one day.
Maybe the answer lay in food. Yeah. Get her an apple treat she didn't have to make herself. And then maybe they could cuddle and eat it together.
Smiling broadly, she turned into the nearest bakery and was examining the selection of baked goods with apples in them when she suddenly heard a very familiar voice coming from in the back.
"Them ain't baldwin apples! Look fer the ones with a little green on them or these'll turn out soggy! And who in their right mind put the apples with the bananas? ...Ah don't care if'n it makes 'em look prettier, they ripen too dang fast and you'll have nothin' to bake with. And take that pan off the stove! If'n it ain't cast iron, it ain't got no business holdin' an apple cobbler! Respect the apple, dang it! Respect it!"
Laughing softly to herself, Rainbow Dash left, already thinking of how Applejack would be in a much better mood that night and how that would make her own night that much better and wondering exactly when she should mention all those tickets.
* * *
Rainbow Dash stood at the base of the stairs, doing a complete stretching routine. She extended her wings, stretched her forelegs, and did neck rolls until she felt about as limp as a wet rag. She flew up the stairs, gave her wings one last stretch, and opened the door.
Sure enough, the first thing that happened as soon as she crossed the threshold was a rope appearing, wrapping quickly around her neck, and dragging her down.
“Hello, AJ,” Rainbow Dash said, seemingly oblivious to the bonds that quickly appeared against her body. “You’re in a good mood tonight.”
“Ah got a job!” Applejack crowed. “Ah’m a provider again!” She leaned in close to Rainbow Dash. “And Ah’ll be doin’ a lot of providin’.”
“I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean,” Rainbow Dash confessed, “but I think I like where it’s going.”
* * *
Later that night, two Mare-do-wells stood in the shadows in the overhang of a building.
“So the first thing we’re gonna do is send a message. Let’em know we’re here, and that we mean business.”
“I’m here,” Rainbow Dash corrected. “There is only one Mare-do-well.”
Rainbow Dash couldn’t see Applejack’s eyes, but she was certain that she rolled them exaggeratedly under the mask. “You know what Ah meant.”
“So. How will we know when we’ve found our target?”
“Oh, you’ll know.”
Rainbow Dash scanned the city from their perspective. “Hey, how about him?”
Applejack answered flatly. “Rainbow, we are not gonna scare a foal fer stayin’ out after curfew.”
“Hmm... how about her?”
“No.”
“Him?”
“No.”
“Him?”
“...That’s a Royal Guard, Rainbow.”
“I know,” Rainbow Dash sighed as the guard in question flew off into the night. “I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.”
“Ah was.”
They stayed like that for another twenty minutes. Eventually, Rainbow Dash sighed. “This is getting boring. I just want something to happen.”
As if on cue, there was the sound of glass breaking and angry shouting from the next alley over.
“Rainbow, ya gotta learn when t’ shut yer mouth,” Applejack grinned.
“I dunno. I’m kindof happy about this,” Rainbow Dash said.
The two heroines sprinted to the other edge of the building to get a better view, where they saw a pegasus stallion advancing on a smaller colt, demanding money while his body posture was threatening great physical violence.
“You go first,” Rainbow Dash said, giving Applejack a gentle nudge. “Buck him through the wall.”
Applejack nodded and jumped off the roof, intending to use her cape to glide to a gentle stop. To her eternal embarrassment and horror, her rear hoof clipped the edge of the ledge, and she found herself rolling flank over teakettle off the roof and crash-landing right on a dumpster.
Rainbow Dash winced, and was about to rush and see if she was ok when she suddenly remembered their rules, and she stayed put.
The two in the alleyway spun around and watched as a strange, masked pony pulled herself up and stood back on her hooves.
“Whatd’ya think yer doin’?” the stallion spat.
“Ah could ask you the same question,” the mysterious pony growled. “Why don’tcha pick on somepony yer own size?”
“Because somepony my own size doesn’t owe me money.”
There that was again. Money. Didn’t anypony care about anything in this city aside from money? Applejack suddenly felt very homesick.
“Maybe we don’t have to do this,” she suggested. “Whatd’ya say we all just sit down and talk this over? How much does he owe you, anyway?”
The two alley ponies stared at the masked moron, deeply confused. Applejack could have sworn she heard a hoof slam into a face from approximately six stories up.
Finally deciding that she was serious, the stallion laughed. “More than you can pay. This grass ain’t cheap, ya know. Now go away or you’re next.” He turned back to the colt.
“Am Ah right in assumin’ this ain’t ordinary grass?”
The stallion turned back to her with an incredulous look on his face. “What rock did you just climb out from under? No. It ain’t ordinary grass. It’s expensive stuff, but totally worth the high.” He turned back to the colt. “Was it worth it?” he asked.
The colt nodded fearfully.
“At yer age?” Applejack was surprised.
“They’re for me mum,” he said, but from the way he looked down and to the right, and his previous statement, Applejack was fairly certain he was lying.
This didn’t seem to be getting anywhere, so Applejack dashed in between the two. “Ah don’t care if’n he owes you his firstborn son. You ain’t collectin’ tonight, so turn around and leave.”
“Get outta here before I beat you up myself.”
Applejack smiled underneath her mask. “Ah’d like t’ see you try.”
And try he did, but the first swing was easy to dodge, and the second she barely had to move for. The third, though, landed squarely on her chest, and Applejack had a sudden realization that even though the magic fabric was spreading the impact, it still didn’t mean it wouldn’t hurt.
But, of course, she couldn’t let him know that.
“Mah turn,” she said, before spinning around and giving him the buck of his lifetime. Leg muscles, classically trained in the hard art of farm work, slammed into him with such force that he literally left the ground and went through a full rotation in the air before slamming into a wall, sliding to the ground, and laying still.
Applejack turned back to the colt, who was staring in surprise and shock and... happiness. That was a pleasant sight. “Maybe you should just stick t’ buyin’ candy next time,” Applejack suggested.
The colt nodded.
“Now git afore he wakes up.”
Still nodding, the colt turned and sprinted away.
Applejack waited until he was out of sight, and then walked over to the dumpster and began slamming her head against it repeatedly.
“Something tells me that’s not quite the way you wanted it to go, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked. That fabric must have had some other properties, too, because Applejack hadn’t even heard her fly down.
“Nope,” Applejack said, resting her now slightly sore head against the metal. “That was too quick, too... Ah dunno, but that wasn’t right at all. Ah didn’t even introduce myself. We gotta plan this out. We gotta be better.”
“And we gotta try not to fall off buildings,” Rainbow Dash added.
“It ain’t gonna happen again!” Applejack hissed. “And if’n ya know what’s good fer you, you’ll make sure that stays quiet!”
Rainbow Dash really hoped that the command for ‘quiet’ didn’t include giggling uncontrollably, because that’s exactly what she was doing right then.
"Oh, yeah?" Rainbow challenged. "What have we learned?"
"That this guy ain't our target."
"What??" Rainbow demanded. "We’ve been following him for, like, hours! Why not?"
"Too small. Ah want somethin' a bit bigger than a little drug dealer fer our first message."
"Little??" Rainbow spluttered. "He just sold to five at once!"
"This dude barely started sellin’. Ah want somepony with a larger market than young ponies that we can scare off as soon as he turns the corner."
Rainbow Dash grinned behind her mask. "But that part is so much fun," she said.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Just keep looking.”
* * *
“Tailing is boring.”
“Tailin’ is important.”
“Still boring.”
* * *
“Tailing is boring.”
“Tailin’. Is. Important.”
* * *
“Tailing is boring.”
“Rainbow, so help me, if’n you don’t put a sock in it, Ah’m gonna fold you in half and tie you up in a knot so tightly you’ll be able t’ lick yer own cutie mark.”
“Hmm... I might be ok with that, actually. Especially if you're watching."
There was a sound of two impacts. One was the sound of hooves on pony. The other was the sound of pony on wall.
* * *
“Tailing is boring.”
“Well, then you’ll be happy t’ know that Ah’ve picked our target.”
Rainbow threw her hooves into the air. “Thank Celestia! We’ve been sneaking around for, like, a week!”
“...Rainbow, it’s only been three days.”
“Feels like a week.”
“Well, ya did enough complainin’ t’ last us two. Now come on.”
Applejack quickly explained her plan, to which Rainbow readily agreed. The two vigilantes jumped down off the roof and landed on a fire escape, where Applejack pointed out the stallion that was to deliver their message. Rainbow vaguely remembered from their many nights watching.
“All right. You know what you're doin'?” Applejack asked.
“Like the back of my hoof,” Rainbow said flippantly.
“So, not real well, then.”
“Just watch,” Rainbow challenged. Flapping her wings silently, she descended upon the stallion, quietly landing behind him.
She briefly stretched before lowering herself into position. It was time to send a message.
"Bet you think you're pretty tough, don'tcha?” she growled.
He spun around and stared at the pony that looked (and sounded) like she had stumbled out of a costume party gone awry. "Who are you?" he demanded.
"I am Mare-do-well, and I am here to say that Manehattan has had enough of the likes of you."
The stallion paused. "You're a dramatic little haridelle, aren't you?"
The pony tossed her mane, or she would have, had she not been wearing a cowl and large hat. "The word you're looking for is convinced, determined, and 116% awesome."
The stallion was unimpressed. "That's like five. Now piss off, you tweaker, you're gonna scare away my customers."
"I'm not good with math. What I am good with is cleaning up this city and, lucky you, you're the first piece of trash I get to take out."
It finally clicked in his mind what she was trying to say. "...are you threatening me?"
The masked pony threw up her hooves in mock celebration. "Congratulations! You finally get it! Smiley, show 'im what he's won!" She took a step sideways, as if to become another pony, and changed her voice to a lower range, imitating the voice of a stallion. "Well, Mare-do-well, he's won an all-expense paid trip to the ER! But if he reforms, he also gets the grand prize of never seeing you again!"
It was at this point in the conversation that the dealer had decided he had had enough, and drew his knife and slashed widely, intending to slice through her mask and hopefully a vein.
The problem is, in this section of town, most fights had been resolved with a show of force.
Rainbow Dash was a mare that preferred agility.
She had blocked the strike with one hoof and popped him in the face with the other before he had even registered that she had moved.
It wasn't a hard hit--pegasi weren't known for brute force--but it was enough to set him back for a bit. He blinked in confusion, and could have sworn that the faceless mask turned up into a smile before the mare hit him again. Enraged, he slashed again at the masked pony, but she ducked the swipe and jabbed him again. Furious, he slashed repeatedly at her, but failed to land a blow. She danced around, just too quick for him.
Either through skill or by sheer luck, he eventually managed to land a scratch. The mare flinched and looked down.
"No more than a scratch," she jeered. "And I was so sure I'd picked a good messenger."
He swung again, but he was figuratively blind with anger, and she took full advantage of that. She flipped her cape into his face, blinding him literally this time. Before he could recover, she bucked him in the face. When his world had finally come back into focus, she was gone.
Glancing around, he realized that he was alone in the middle of the street. Crazy pony... Prolly overdosed on speed or something.
He turned to head back to his house, but he hadn’t taken three steps when he froze.
The masked pony was sitting on top of a dumpster. Just sitting there, menacingly. And then it spoke.
"Ah'm always watching, you know. Even when ya think Ah ain't." And with that message, she jumped off, turned, sprinted down an alley and disappeared into the darkness.
That was... mildly disturbing.
The stallion shook his head and continued home. He didn’t live all too far away, and his eyes soon met the familiar sight of his home street, his apartment building, and a purple shadow on top of the building that looked just like a pony wearing a large hat.
He did a doubletake, but the rooftop was empty. Shaking it off as paranoia, he walked inside, mumbled something to the pony behind the desk, and climbed the stairs up to his apartment.
He froze as he saw a piece of paper taped to his door. Printed on it was a stylized M, much like the one on the strange mare’s chest. It was a slight comfort to him that the door was locked still. With practiced teeth, he drew his knife and reached for the key. It then occurred to him that he could not do both at the same time, being an earth pony and not a unicorn. Setting down the knife, he pulled out his key, unlocked the door, picked up his knife, opened the door, and stepped inside.
The living room was empty, thankfully. Of course it would be. It’s not like that crazy crackhead could find his apartme--sweet Celestia she was laying on the table!
Mare-do-well shifted, letting her cape fall and expose more of her clothed flank. “I’ve been waiting for you,” she cooed, patting the tablecloth as if in invitation to join her.
Now thoroughly convinced that he had accidentally inhaled some of the drugs he sold, he turned and sprinted towards his bedroom. Instincts took over, and he dove inside the closet, breathing hard.
Safe.
Safe again.
A hoof gently trailed down his cheek. “All Ah’m sayin’, Sugarcube, is sometimes it’s all right t’ be afraid of the dark.”
The stallion screamed and burst out of the closet. Desperately seeking an escape, he found one in the form of the window in his living room and launched himself out amidst a shower of glass and another scream. He landed painfully on the ground, but fear drove him to quickly stagger to his hooves and dart off into the night, leaving behind what ever money and product he'd been carrying.
* * *
Two quivering ponies entered their apartment and shut the door. The earth pony bolted it securely and placed a chair in front of the door. The pegasus led the way to the bedroom, and as soon as that door closed, both burst out in giggles.
“That was awesome! The look on his face was priceless!” Rainbow laughed.
"Ah didn't think he'd actually jump out the window!"
"We were all like, rawr, and then he was like, ahh! and then he was like, crash!"
Applejack finally managed to stifle her laughter. "I think the message got sent loud and clear."
“The legend lives! We are awesome!" Rainbow cheered. "Hoof bump!”
