Applejack and her friends and family deal with the day to day problems that follow her coronation in Appletheosis.
Immediately following the events of Appletheosis, Applejack must relearn her place in the world as the new Princess Mara of Equestria. Meanwhile, her family and friends have their own troubles with the changes. Through it all, little Merry May, first in the service of her goddess, tries to hold things together and keep everypony sane and happy.
I won't tell you what to do, (this time) but reading Appletheosis first is highly recommended. The Shadow of the Goddess also provides useful background and will become very relevant in later chapters.
Merry May trotted happily through the woods. A faint rustling sound nearby attracted her notice. She peered into the shrubbery that lined the path. Whatever it was had retreated into shadow. After a moment she shrugged and continued on. Ahead of her was something important. The path continued and twisted onward more than a path had any right to do, nevertheless, Merry May doggedly pursued her course. The trees were taller here, blotting out the sky, but also laden with fruit and dripping with fresh dew. Something ahead of her was pushing her path to the side. Frowning, she stomped on the ground, demanding that it stay still. She felt that she was almost there.
Ahead of her, the trees arched and bowed outwards to form a massive bower. Something under the path heaved and tilted her course until it was a sheer angle, almost too steep to climb. Merry was still undaunted. She would reach her destination, come Tartarus or tornados. She crested the painfully steep hill; there it was. She could almost- A massive stone burst through the canopy, smashing silently in front of her, an impenetrable obstacle. There was no way around or over it, but thankfully there was a small window in it. At least she could see.
Peering through the tiny aperture she finally saw what she had been seeking the whole time, Princess Mara. The goddess sat, immense and beautiful, in her little hidden glen. The alicorn was faintly glowing in the mist that lazily wafted around her. Merry was transfixed by the mare. Her hair drifted gently in a nonexistent breeze and framed her timeless face. So single was Merry’s focus that she failed to spot the other pony in the glen for quite some time. Finally it registered, Mara was talking to somepony. May squinted, it was… Applejack?
Merry May sat back, confused. She didn’t have much time to ponder as something rustled in the bushes behind her. She felt a sharp pain as something stabbed her from behind. Looking down, she spotted a sharp, blue horn sprouting from her chest.
***
Merry May sat up with a start. She wasn’t in her own bed. That wasn’t unusual for the past week. What was unusual was the fact that she was in a bed at all. As she shook off the muzziness of sleep she thought back on the last few weeks. Finding out that one of her neighbors was a goddesss, chasing after her, traveling about with camels, witnessing a fight between goddesses, swearing herself in service to the new goddess, the coronation yesterday, it had all been so much. She had probably done more in the past two weeks than she had in the past two years.
This was the guest room at Sweet Apple Acres. On the little nightstand beside her was her trusty red turban. It had been a gift from the camels, and Merry had grown quite attached to it. Leaving it for the moment, she trundled over to the bathroom and took a quick shower. The water was at best lukewarm. When she was finally dried, cleaned and combed she grabbed her hat and headed downstairs.
Despite how early it felt, Applejack was already up and sitting at the table. She had her Stetson in her hooves and was busy trying to mouth the bronze off of the brim while leaving both intact. The matching hatband was sitting beside her on the table. Merry clomped a little louder on the last few steps to announce her presence.
Applejack, the newly crowned Princess Mara and Merry’s liege lady, looked up and spotted her. She spat out the hat and nodded at her amicably. “How’d ya sleep?”
“Pretty good. What time is it?”
Applejack glanced at the clock. “Little after seven.” Merry May frowned; that was very early. Applejack spotted her expression. “Don’t feel bad, Ah slept in too. Ah think Ah woke up jest before you did. Yesterday felt longer’n tha first day a cider season.”
“I… see. What were you doing while I was coming down the stairs?”
“Tryin’ ta get all this flash off a mah hat. ‘Tain’t very practical, even if it is pretty.”
Merry frowned again. “Isn’t it part of, like, your uniform?”
“Yeah, but Ah can’t risk gettin’ it dirty ‘n’ dinged up.”
“Um, can’t you afford to get a new one, new bronze I mean, if it does? It’s not like bronze costs that much, and you probably have all kinds of princess money now. What if some ambassador or something shows up in the middle of the day?”
Applejack stared narrowly at Merry May. Before she could reply, a scroll popped out of the air over her horn with a little ‘plink’. Merry caught it before it fell. It was sealed by Celestia. Applejack nodded at Merry. “Go ahead ‘n’ read it ta me.” As soon as Merry was distracted she went back to worrying at the bronze rim of her hat.
“Um, Dear Princess Mara, I’m writing to notify you of various duties associated with your new title. I understand that your background and expertise is in other areas, so don’t worry about getting it all at once, or even this year. One important facet of Equestrian government is that there is precedent for various numbers of sovereigns. I am currently dusting off the charter of the ancient tri… um-vir-ate.” Merry May shook her head. “What does that mean?”
Applejack shrugged. “Ah donm know. Ah fink Nuna faid fomefin’ ‘boud id.” she said around a mouthful of bronze.
Merry May shrugged back and continued. “Trium-vir-ate and giving it a look over to ensure its relevance to modern Equestria, so, in a sense, this will be a learning process for the three of us. I have taken the liberty of dispatching a doctor of history and civil law to tutor you in the niceties of government and legal theory. I hope you will receive him well and make him at home. As another consideration, do know that the treasury is, within reason, at your disposal. It will be important to consider expanding your lodgings to accommodate large numbers of guests, as well as providing a barracks for other guards you may wish to hire. Again, I implore you not to consider this a burden on Equestria, but rather a necessary extension of your new calling. Your sister, Celestia.”
“Well, that’s quite neighborly of her. Ah don’t much look forward to those lessons though. Ah should send a reply. Ah’m gonna go deliver a letter to Spike, will y’all make sure Apple Bloom gets ta school?”
Merry May thought about this for a moment. It wasn’t exactly what she had in mind when she thought of what the Captain of the Goddess’s guard ought to be up to. Then again, she was pretty much the entire guard. “I, um Ah ken do that Applejack.”
Applejack grinned at her. “Thanks, ‘n’ keep workin’ at that accent.”
***
Applejack had headed off immediately, regretfully putting her ostentatious hatband back on since the brim had proved so impossible to remove. Merry May had knocked politely on princess Bloom’s door for several minutes before finally just entering. Apple Bloom was sprawled out on her bed, snoring uproariously. The ceremony and coronation party yesterday had taken it out of everypony.
“Ahem… Uh, princess? Hay. It’s time to wake up.” Merry May gingerly poked Apple Bloom in the side. Apple Bloom simply swatted her hoof away, somewhat painfully, and kept on snoring. “Ow! Apple Bloom! Get up!”
The foal in question started awake with a jerk. “Wha, who, ya, hunh?”
Merry nodded respectfully at Apple Bloom, “Good morning Princess, Applejack told me to make sure that you… ya got ta school.”
“Whut tahme ‘zit?” Bloom’s accent was considerably thicker than her sister’s, especially first thing in the morning.
“Um, seven-thirty? ish?”
Apple Bloom immediately rocketed out of bed with a yell of, “Ah’mgon’belate!” Merry May was nearly knocked flat by the backdraft of her passage. She heard the water in the bathroom switch on for the barest of moments before Apple Bloom stumbled and scooted back out while simultaneously drying and tying a bow in her mane.
“Can I help? Pegasus magic can get you dry pretty fast. It’s a shortcut I use sometimes.” offered Merry.
“Sure. Go fer it.”
Merry buzzed her wings rapidly at Apple Bloom’s mane for a short while. Soon it was completely dry, but extremely poofy. “Now you do have to…” As soon as Apple Bloom had felt her mane dry, she had been off like a rocket out the front door, barely snatching her book bundle on the way. “…comb it.” Sighing, Merry grabbed a brush and chased out the door after her little charge.
***
Applejack flew into town at a fast clip to avoid getting crowded. After the coronation yesterday, the townsponies might have gotten used to the idea that there was a princess in their midst, but AJ was taking no chances. She landed on Twilight’s balcony with a gentle thud, managing to keep her balance this time. Her landings were slowly getting better. She rapped gently on the glass of the door and stepped back to wait. After a moment, Twilight trotted upstairs and spotted Applejack through the door. Her face lit up with a smile, flickered unreadably, and then settled back into a smile. She opened the door and invited Applejack in. “Hi AJ, I’m glad you stopped in for a visit. What’s the occasion?”
“Thank ya kindly Twi, but Ah’m actually here ta see Spike. Ah gotta send a letter ta Celestia. Uh, could Ah also trouble ya for a pencil ‘n’ some paper?”
Twilight’s expression flickered again. Still, the smile hung determinedly to her face. “Sure, but wouldn’t you rather use a quill?”
“Nah, Ah never liked the feel a them in mah mouth.”
Twilight smirked at Applejack. “You do have magic now.”
“Twi, Ah have about tha steadiness of one a Pinkie’s jellies in an earthquake. Ain’t no way Ah’m up ta writin’ a letter with it.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, “Well, practice! You won’t get any better unless you do.” The delivery came out perhaps a bit sharper than Twilight intended.
Applejack hesitated. “Y’alright, sugar cube? Ya seem a bit tense t’day.”
It was Twilight’s turn to pause. “I’m fine. I guess I just didn’t get enough sleep last night. Sorry.”
Applejack considered. If Twilight wasn’t going to be forthcoming, that was her business. Perhaps a peace offering would work. “Tell ya what, Ah’ll practice mah magic. Jest point me in tha direction a some exercises ta try and Ah’ll get ‘er done.”
“You don’t have to do that on my account, Applejack. I’m just tired. It meant nothing. You have centuries to get the hang of magic anyways. Why rush?”
“Nah, Ah can tell it means somethin’ to ya, ‘sides, Ah gotta be the best princess Ah can be.”
“Well, I’ll help. Pick a time each day to come by and I’ll tutor you for an hour or so. Sound good?”
“Sure thing. Ah gotta do a bit a organizin’ a mah schedule ‘ n’ such first though. Speakin’ a which… Hay Spike!”
***
Merry May trotted back to Sweet Apple Acres, her mission of mane management and coiffure correction completed. As she arrived at the farm gate, her triumphant traipsing tapered off into a tentative trot. What now? She was pretty sure that she had been fired from her day job by this point. Most managers frowned on employees chasing after a pair of rogue goddesses and joining up with a camel caravan for a couple of weeks without notice.
As in uffish thought she stood, a faint thumping noise came to her ears from one of the nearby orchards. Aha! Big Macki… Prince McIntosh will probably have something for me to help with. After a short flight, she found where he was bucking apples off the trees. She watched him appreciatively for a few minutes. The stallion was a juggernaut. It seemed like it took more of his effort to hold himself back when he bucked than he actually exerted. Finally, Merry cleared her throat. “Uhm, Hay Prince McIntosh! Anything I… Ah ken dew fer yew?”
Mac paused his kicking and glanced at her archly. “Nnope.”
Merry deflated. “Oh, you sure? I really don’t have anything to do right now, and I’m pretty sure I was fired from my old job. Technically, I think I’m a knight, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”
Mac chuckled once, “Ah been there.” He leaned down and tossed a pair of baskets on his back and gestured towards a third. Merry May took the hint and loaded it onto her own back. “Now, ya feel useless?”
“Yeah, I mean, I swore an oath to Applejack, well, I made a promise anyway. I don’t even know if it’s official really… But I don’t care! I said I would help out, and Ah intend to do just that! I just don’t know how. I wish she would just tell me what to do. Do you have any ideas Prince McIntosh?”
“First, don’t call me McIntosh. Ah hate when ponies pronounce mah name all proper like that.”
“Oh, sorry.” Merry hung her head.
“Ya done good bah mah sister though. Call me Mac.” He smiled encouragingly at her.
“Thanks… Mac.” Merry grinned sheepishly back.
“Well, ya ever consider she might not know what ta do with ya?”
“I… Well… That makes sense I guess. This has all been kinda crazy. I mean, look at us. A prince bucking apples and a knight whose greatest quest in the service of her goddess has been combing hair.”
“Ah bucked them apples ‘cause it’d be a shame ta let this crop go ta waste. Don’t matter if Ah don’t have ta work another day in mah life. Ah do what needs doin’.”
Mac was silent for a few minutes while they walked to the crop cellar. As the two of them unloaded the apples into their cradles he spoke again. “Maybe that’s what’cha can do fer mah sister. Figure out what yer for. Find a reason to be there. She’s got a lot on her mind. Be tha one thing she don’t have ta worry about.”
***
Applejack’s correspondence with Celestia had been swift, punctuated by the belches and magic flames of Spike. As the last letter formed in the air, Applejack gazed uncomprehendingly at the figures on it. “Stars above. That’s mah dis-cretionary money? Ah ain’t never seen a bigger sum in mah life. Ah’m gonna have ta get Mac ta look at this. Ah don’t have tha head for it.”
Spike peered up at the scroll held loosely in Applejack’s magical grip. “Stop waving it around. Why do you need the money anyway?”
“Well, part of it is gonna be fer repairs an’ a bit a remodelin’ and makin’ sure Granny’s meds ‘re paid for. Then Ah was gonna see about hirin’ some extra hooves fer tha orchard. If Mac and Ah‘re gonna be busy with other things, we need somepony to pick up tha slack. Seriously though. Ah can’t even wrap mah head around this sum. Mac’ll know what ta do.”
Twilight tilted her head, “Big Macintosh handles the money on the farm?”
“He handles tha math, period. Ain’t nopony quicker with a sum than mah brother, present company included, no offense.”
“Wow, if you’re saying it, I believe it. Where did he pick it up?” Twilight asked.
“He was in tha Royal Artillery fer a few years. He got jealous of mah time in Manehatten when we were young. It chafed on him, so as soon as he was old enough he signed up. Served a tour in Zebrica, didn’t see no action, thank Celestia. Got to be a bit of a wiz at doin’ vecters ‘n’ trajecters ‘n’ whatnot.”
“… Vectors and trajectories.” Twilight made no attempt to hide her frown this time.
“Right, he didn’t want ta make a career of it, so he didn’t reenlist when his tour was up. If ya want mah opinion, he woulda got his cutie mark in math if he didn’t already have one. That was all years ago… Before… Well, nevermind. Ah gotta go. See ya tomorrow sometime, alright? We’ll figure out a time ta practice magic then.”
Twilight waved at the retreating alicorn. “Yeah, that’ll be fun…” As she turned to re-enter the library, her face told a different story.
As Apple Bloom barreled headlong towards the schoolhouse, Cheerilee was reaching out a hoof to close the door. The little filly managed to slip in just as the door started to swing, surprising her teacher. “Haahh, made it!”
Cheerilee glanced over at her, “I almost shut the door on you Apple Bloom. Be careful. Maybe next time you will come a few minutes early so that this sort of thing doesn’t happen again.” Cheerilee was fairly sure that it would, in fact, happen again, but that didn’t change her responsibility to say something about the matter.
“Yes ma’am.”
“Thank you Apple Bloom.” Cheerilee took a moment to survey her class. What she saw made her heart sink. The town-wide coronation party yesterday had done her no favors. Everypony looked haggard and twitchy to her practiced eye, though most of her young students were probably unaware of their own fragile emotional state. Barring a miracle, there would be blood and bruises on the playground and disruptions in class. In the desperate manner of teachers everywhere, she put on a beatific smile that threatened to crack her face in half. Maybe, just maybe, she could impose harmony on the class through sheer force of will.
“Welcome back everypony. Yesterday was a fun little holiday from school. Can anypony tell me what it was for?” From the back, Truffle Shuffle raised a hoof. Truffle usually didn’t volunteer in class, despite being fairly on-point most of the time. “Yes, Truffle Shuffle.”
“It was for the new princess!”
“Good, does anypony know who the new princess was?”
All eyes turned on Apple Bloom. Cheerilee winced internally, this was what she got for trying to wing it with her lesson plan. Apple Bloom slumped a little in her chair before answering. “Uh, it was mah sister. Applejack.”
There was nowhere to go but forward. Cheerilee plowed ahead, smile locked in place. “Exactly! I think we should spend the first part of class writing letters to congratulate the new princess for Apple Bloom to deliver. Let’s start with two paragraphs with three sentences each, and remember, capitalization counts!” At the very least that would occupy them for the moment while she planned what to do for the rest of the day.
***
Applejack trotted through town, nervous as a worm in a henhouse. So far she had been alternately waved at or bowed to by every pony she had passed in town. Almost all of them had first glanced at her gleaming hat when they saw her. She glanced down at her chest. Maybe she should have worn the peytral after all. It seemed like the regalia did actually serve a purpose. It reminded ponies that the princesses were something to be treated carefully. She sighed as she trotted across the bridge. She wasn’t as outgoing as Pinkie or even Rainbow, but she was used to saying howdy to the ponies around town at the very least. Halfway across the bridge, she stopped. No. This is wrong. Ah have no right nor reason ta keep mahself away from other ponies. Ah jest gotta be a little more careful ‘bout how Ah treat ‘em. Turning about, she scanned the street behind her for somepony else.
The street was relatively empty, considering it was the middle of the day. The only pony close at hoof was Roseluck. She seemed to be gathering another batch of flowers to sell. Applejack grimaced. The last time she had said hi to this particular mare had not ended well. Applejack shook her head. It was either be sociable or let herself get shut away from society. Applejack had no desire to be a shut-in for the rest of her, very long, life. She walked slowly over to where Rose was cutting stems. Standing a safe distance away, she cleared her throat noisily. Rose glanced up from her work. As soon as she caught sight of Applejack, she immediately prostrated herself flat on the ground with a little squeak of, “Your Highness!”
Applejack grimaced again, it was getting to be a tic. “Up on yer hooves, Rose. Ah’m jest sayin’ hi.”
Tentatively, Rose obeyed, but her eyes seemed to wander everywhere except Applejack’s face. “Hi.”
“Rose, don’t… Ah, consarn it. Hay Rose, what’cha got in bloom right now?”
That did the trick. Rose’s eyes immediately locked onto AJ’s. “Well, I have a fairly new variety called Eternal Summer in bloom at the moment. It’s got fantastic color and shape, perfect for brightening up a room, but I have to admit that the flavor and scent leaves something to be desired. I’ve got the yellow Grahams at their peak also, if you’re looking for something succulent.
“Ah’ll take eight Grahams. It’s been a while since Ah had me a good rose dinner. Wait, make it a dozen. Ah have a guest over, and possibly another one bah tonight.”
Rose nodded and efficiently clipped a dozen of the roses and de-thorned their stems. In a moment, Applejack had the bundle in her mouth. Rose smiled at the bouquet. “How mufh do Ah owe ya?”
“Oh, no need, it’s an honor to serve roses to the new Princess Mara.”
Applejack lit her horn experimentally. She carefully pulled the bundle out of her mouth so she could speak. “No, Ah insist.”
“Okay… That’ll be forty-eight bits.”
AJ coughed, nearly dropping the bunch. Now she knew why it had been such a long time since she had had roses. “Alright, Ah’ll have somepony by later ta settle with ya.”
Rose bowed low. “Thank you, princess.”
“You too.” Applejack grinned. “An’ don’t let me catch ya gettin’ yer ideas from Mare-Do-Well comics in tha future.”
Rose had the decency to blush as Applejack trotted happily away with her prize.
***
School was almost over. Cheerilee glanced at the clock. It was a quarter past two. Just half an hour left. The day had gone fairly well, considering how restless and frazzled everypony was. She’d had to break up a fight between Scootaloo and Silver Spoon during recess. Neither one would explain what had started the brawl, so she had given each of them a note to take home and have signed by their parents. The afternoon had turned into a relatively productive geography lesson as they discussed the various duchies that each of the Princesses presided over.
Diamond Tiara raised a hoof. Cheerilee hesitated, she was pretty sure that Diamond was somehow behind the fight earlier, but, as a teacher, she had to give her students the benefit of the doubt. “Yes, Diamond Tiara?”
“So, isn’t Apple Bloom a princess too?”
Cheerilee took a moment to reply, choosing her words carefully. “She is, but not the same sort of princess that Mara, Luna and Celestia are. The Royal Sisters are sovereign princesses specifically. Meaning that they rule the entire land jointly. Apple Bloom is a princess because she’s directly related to one of the royal princesses. Just like Prince Blueblood the nephew of Celestia.”
Diamond wasn’t done. “But, like, doesn’t Blueblood own land too?”
“Well, yes. He is over Canterlot county inside the duchy of Canterlot. Now, that is an interesting arrangement, unique to Equestria. In Griffrance, only a count can…” Cheerilee paused. Diamond Tiara had her hoof in the air and was waving it wildy, nearly bouncing out of her seat with the motion. I could just ignore her. I could just ignore her and we can have good end to the day and talk about Griffrance and work in a little world history… Cheerilee’s smile finally wavered. She couldn’t ignore any of her students. All of them needed a chance every day… Even the worst ones. “Yes, Diamond Tiara?”
“So, where is Apple Bloom’s county?”
Cheerilee racked her brains. “I think it was Appleloosa. Is that right Apple Bloom?”
Apple Bloom nervously nodded. “Ah think so.”
Diamond Tiara didn’t wait to be called upon this time. “Wow, so Prince Blueblood is in charge of the richest city in the whole world, but you just have a teeny little ghost town in the desert.” Hanging unsaid in the air were the words, some princess you are.
Cheerilee held her breath. She couldn’t, technically, do anything about what Diamond had just said. On the other hoof, if Apple Bloom rose to the bait, Cheerilee wasn’t sure she’d choose to ‘hear’ the response. Apple Bloom slunk down in her chair, embarrassed at the attention and stung by the comment. Scootaloo, and even Sweetie Belle, looked ready to start pulling hair and throwing kicks.
The clock ticked off a few tense seconds. Cheerilee breathed out slowly. It didn’t look like anypony was going to do anything this time. “Well, Diamond Tiara, even a relatively new county like Appleloosa is a big responsibility. Why don’t we spend some time this week studying about the history of Everfree county where we live. I’ll have Twilight put aside some books for each of you when we visit the library tomorrow. For now, let’s dismiss early. Have a wonderful day!”
Diamond Tiara smirked triumphantly as she and Silver Spoon cantered out the door. Meanwhile, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were trying to pry Apple Bloom out from under her desk. When the rest of the students had shuffled out, Cheerilee trotted over to the trio. “Excuse me girls.” She knelt down to where Apple Bloom was huddled. The filly had covered her face with her hooves. Cheerilee leaned in and gently nuzzled her. “Shshsh… Apple Bloom… Are you ok?”
Apple Bloom shook her head and sniffed slightly.
“Come here, it’s ok if you need to cry.” Apple Bloom stayed where she was. Cheerilee continued gently stroking her back, not saying anything. After a moment, the shuddering little filly calmed down. Cheerilee began pulling away, but she was stopped by a pair of little hooves wrapping around her neck. Apple Bloom began sobbing in earnest now.
Her friends stayed in the room until Apple Bloom was ready to head home. Scootaloo looked on with embarrassment, Sweetie with a watery-eyed smile.
***
Applejack sat at the kitchen table. Granny had been quite excited to see the bouquet that Applejack had brought home for dinner and was busy putting together a hearty berry and fresh apple salad to go with them. Big Mac, Merry and Blooms weren’t back yet for dinner. As AJ sat, she thought back on the past couple of days. The absolute enormity of what had happened to her once again threatened to overwhelm her. She was a goddess and a princess. There were millions of ponies reading about her coronation, right now, in the news. Every single one of them would be able to recognize her on sight as Princess Mara, Goddess of the Earth. She was responsible for all of them, well, one-third responsible anyway.
She closed her eyes and centered herself the way that Pinkie had shown her. Deep down, her larger self seemed to feel that things had happened the way they should have, mostly. The result was fine, but something behind it was wrong. After a moment, she felt the sharp rap of a wooden spoon against her hindquarters.
“Move yer caboose. Yuh bin sittin’ ‘n’ stewin’ so long yer takin’ root.”
Applejack turned her head towards Granny Smith, then looked down at her hind hooves. She was right. The floorboards had warped and sent forth little tendrils to wrap around her legs. “Well Ah’ll be. That Ah am.” Briefly Applejack wondered what would happen if she meditated in a field of stone. “Don’t worry Granny. Ah’ll fix it.”
“You’d better! Hardwood floors’re expensive!” she said, as she turned back to her cooking.
Applejack reached down and pulled the tendrils loose with her mouth. They clung reluctantly to her fur, but they were also far more malleable than dead wood. Reaching out a forehoof, she firmly pressed down on one of the fibers, forcing it back into the grain. “Sorry, Ah made a mistake bringin’ you ta life. It ain’t what yer supposed ta be right now.” Applejack worked slowly, pulling the energy in the wood back into herself. It was much simpler than the sort of magic that Twilight kept trying to teach her. This sprang from someplace deeper. It felt like what her family did during zap-apple season. There was no reason at all that a pony should paint pink polka-dots all over their kitchen when making jam, but they filled a spot where something needed to be. It didn’t make sense that she needed to whisper to the planks or gently caress them back into shape, but it felt necessary at the same time.
From outside, a familiar voice called out. “Princess Mara?” Applejack continued working, oblivious. “Ahem, Applejack?” This time the voice was right beside her. Applejack started and banged her horn on the underside of the table.
“Horsefeathers, that hurt!” She turned to see who it was. It was Cheerilee, carrying a weepy-looking Apple Bloom on her back. “Apple Bloom, ya alright?” The little filly shook her head and jumped off of Cheerilee’s back straight into the waiting arms of her sister.
Cheerilee looked on sadly. “She’s had a hard day today. Some of the other fillies said some unkind things in class, one of her friends got into a fight, and everypony was a bit exhausted from yesterday. Something to consider is that the last two weeks have been very different from her routine, in fairly dramatic ways, and that tends to make younger ponies somewhat emotionally vulnerable. I know it’s difficult considering your situation, but you should consider trying to normalize your routine as much as possible for her sake.”
From somewhere in Applejack’s copious embrace, a tired little voice mumbled out, “Ah ain’t ‘motionally insecure.”
Applejack smirked down at the filly who seemed to be doing her level best to burrow into her chest. She then turned back to Cheerilee, her expression serious. “Ah’ll see what Ah can do ta make things a bit more stable ‘round here.”
Cheerilee nodded and lifted a hoof as if to trot off, but she hesitated a moment. “Applejack… is it ok if I still call you that?”
“Yup, Ah mean, shoot, y’all were mah teacher fer a little while.”
Cheerilee trotted closer to Applejack, until their noses were almost touching. Apple Bloom rustled around in Applejack’s grip to see what was going on. “You know, Applejack, in the larger picture of things, you really aren’t that many years older than Apple Bloom, but life keeps throwing more and more at you. I really wonder who you are, deep down, to grow up the way you have in the circumstances that you did. I want you to promise me that you will remember that you were always strong.”
“Uh, thanks, Miss Cheerilee. Ah will.”
“Good to hear. Chin-up both of you, and have a wonderful evening!” She trotted away happily.
“Bye, Miss Cheerilee!” More quietly, Applejack asked Apple Bloom, “Whut in tarnation was that all about?”
***
A few hours later saw the Apples, plus Merry, sitting down to a quiet rose dinner. Granny Smith offered a little prayer, and they dug in quite happily.
Merry was especially impressed at the meal. “I’ve never had good home cooking like this before. Yer some kinda genius in the kitchen, Mrs. Smith.”
“Thank ya dearie. Ah’ve had enough practice Ah oughta be pretty good at it bah now.”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac was chewing slowly, a blissful look on his face. It had been quite a long time since any of them had eaten a more extravagant dinner. Turning to Apple Bloom, he asked, “How was yer day?”
Apple Bloom glared down at her plate. “Do ya really want ta know?”
Big Mac nudged her gently. “A’course.”
Apple Bloom took a deep breath, “Well, we’re all royalty now an ever’thin’ an’ Ah guess Ah thought it’d be differnt’n this ‘cause Ah jest thought things’d jest kinda be normal ‘n’ stuff but Ah’d be this super powerful princess with a tiara ‘n’ mah class’d be all impressed, but they wouldn’t treat me any differnt ‘n’ Ah don’t really know whut Ah was thinkin’ ‘cause it was like Ah was treated like a princess, but Ah weren’t even special ‘r differnt an’ Diamond Tiara an’ Silver Spoon made fun a me in recess an Ah was jest gonna ignore it but Scootaloo started a fight ‘n’ got in trouble ‘cause a me and now mah class thinks Ah’m tha Worst. Princess. Ever.” As she finished, she let her drooping head bonk dramatically against the table. The effect was ruined when she immediately jerked back and started rubbing her forehead in mild pain.
Applejack shook her head, “Ya been takin’ lessons from Rarity? Relax, we’re gonna make sure that things settle down. Ya gotta remember, Blooms, that we ain’t any different from other folks. We gotta do things a little differently around here now, but we’re still like everypony else. Like Miss Cheerilee said, we need ta get a schedule goin’ so that...” Applejack was cut off by a scroll flashing into existence in front of her and flopping onto her plate.
Applejack rolled her eyes and batted the scroll off of the table and into the wall where it stuck for a moment before sliding down, covered in berry juice. “And tha first step is gonna be makin’ sure we have a good regular dinner like civilized folk. Ah swear, Celestia probably sits in her throne room jest waitin’ fer tha exact wrong time ta send these things.” Merry May started towards the letter, but Applejack gave her a cross look. “Leave it, dinner time is family time, and Canterlot can burn fer all Ah care, but it ain’t gettin’ in tha way of a sit-down dinner.”
“Um, but I’m not family, technically. Maybe I can deal with it while y’all just eat?”
Applejack shrugged. “Suit yerself.”
Merry May grabbed the letter and headed into the parlor to read it. It did have one thing going for it, it was probably the tastiest letter that she had ever carried, thanks to Granny Smith’s berry salad. She unfurled the letter and skimmed its typewritten contents.
HSIH Princess Mara,
I am writing to inform you of the impending arrival of Prof. House Divided. He has contacted the palace with the information that he will have departed on the 5:00 pm train to Ponyville. Princess Celestia has also requested that you be sent a portion of your personal funds via express teleport, so be ready for their delivery within the next few minutes.
Your servant,
Triplicate, Undersecretary to HSIH Princess Celestia
Merry May looked at the clock. It was currently 6:30. The train from Canterlot usually took around two and a half hours, so she needed to get ready to head out soon to be there early to meet the professor. It took her a few minutes to find paper and a pencil to make a simple sign reading, ‘Prof. Divided’ and another minute to tie her turban. She was getting fairly good at it, but she wondered if it wouldn’t be cheating to have the pony at Carousel Boutique stitch a little lining into it so she could take it off and put it on easily.
From the dining room came a sudden crash followed by a jangling, clinking noise that went on for an improbably long time. “Con-sarn it, Celestia!” Applejack’s voice rang out loud and clear. Merry’s ears flattened against her head as she realized that she had actually forgotten the most urgent part of the letter. Scooping up a few of the bits that had rolled all the way into the parlor, she quickly rushed out the door.
***
Merry May had made very good time to the train-station.
It always made Merry a little uncomfortable waiting around in stations. On the rare occasions when she had taken the train instead of flying, she had always made sure to be exactly on-time. She had made sure to secure a bench to herself, but she couldn’t shut out the few other occupants of the station. On the edge of the platform a couple was kissing their teary goodbyes, blithely ignoring how public they were being. On one of the other benches sat a ragged palomino mare who seemed to be all skin and bones and mange. The palomino was clutching a tiny bindle as if it were her very lifeline… Perhaps it was.
Merry slipped a coin out of her turban and looked at it. She had grabbed the money with the intent of paying for any needs that the professor might have, such as finding lodgings or getting settled. She glanced up only to see the hobo staring hungrily at the coin in her hooves. Merry sighed. I guess I can just have Applejack take it out of anything I earn. Smiling up at the emaciated mare, she tossed the coin at her. The little hobo watched the bit arc through the air with wide eyes, not even blinking when it ended up smacking her in the muzzle. In a flurry of scrabbling hooves, the coin and hobo were soon out of sight.
Merry May shrugged and went back to trying to ignore the sloppy couple still weeping in each other’s faces. Mercifully, the inbound train was a few minutes early. The few other stragglers who had made their way to the station in the meantime had lined up on one side, while a family waited together out on the road. The train came to a squealing, hissing halt and began disgorging passengers. Merry quickly grabbed her sign in her mouth and started displaying it to the ponies who were stepping off the train. One of them finally showed a spark of recognition and started trundling over with a pile of luggage and books. It was a middle-aged unicorn stallion. He had a pink coat that was just starting to grey, which clashed oddly with his sea-blue mane. He was also somewhat pot-bellied and having a hard time with his luggage.
Merry May spat out her sign. “Professor House Divided?”
He nodded, relieved. “Yes, that’s me. And you are… Dame May? Princess Mara’s seneschal?”
Merry blushed a little and puffed out her chest. “Ah guess so…” Seneschal sounded utterly important, whatever it meant. Glancing at his luggage, she offered, “Could Ah get some o’ that for yuh?”
“Ah, yes, please.” House was obviously trying to keep the relief off of his face.
Merry May grabbed a set of saddle bags and a largeish box and arranged them on her back. “Oof, what do you have in these? Bricks?”
“No, books actually.” The professor was still groaning under a sizable load.
“All this for Ap-p-Princess Mara?”
“Of course not, I’m not going to be tutoring her twenty-four-seven after all. I have my own research to do.”
Merry shrugged, not particularly curious. “Well, where’re you planning on staying?”
House paused. “I hadn’t actually given that much thought. I came as soon as I heard that there was an opening as a royal tutor. There isn’t much that looks better on a résumé; let me tell you.”
Merry did a quick tally of her cash, fifteen bits. Not even close to a night at the inn. “I don’t suppose you can afford a hotel room?”
House grinned sheepishly, “Ah, I’m not exactly flush with bits, if you know what I mean. I was sort of hoping that the Princess could put me up somewhere…”
“Don’t worry about it, we’ll find somewhere for you to stay.” Catching one of the porters’ attention, she managed to rent a cart from the station. The luggage fit nicely on the little wagon. Merry strapped herself in and the two set out for Sweet Apple Acres.
***
Dinner was over by the time Merry and House arrived at the farm. Apple Bloom was quietly doing homework with Big Mac’s help. Granny Smith was quilting absently in her chair. Applejack was trying to get a tally of the bits that had been sent. Tall stacks of coin littered the table. She turned as Merry entered and dusted off her hooves. “Howdy, Merry. Where ya been? ‘N’ who’s this feller?”
The professor had just entered behind her. She tapped a hoof against his chest. “This is Professor House Divided. He’s the tutor Celestia sent.”
Applejack nodded. “That must a been what the letter was then. Ah jest wish she’d warned me about tha massive pile a gold she was sendin’ too.”
Merry grinned a little too widely, sweating a bit. “Yeah, that would have been nice.”
House, meanwhile, was busy looking around the room in a mix of horrified realization and confusion. Applejack interrupted his reverie, “Whut’s eatin’ ya? You look paler’n a pigeon with a poisoned peanut.”
House glanced nervously at the princess. “I… I was just admiring how… rustic this all is. It’s very… down-home… Princess.”
Merry gave him a sideways glance. “Okay… Anyway, A-Princess Mara, he’s looking for a place to stay. Set him up in the guest room?”
Applejack frowned. “Well that ain’t proper at all. Y’all ain’t sharin’ a room, even jest fer a night.”
“Darn tootin’!” Granny Smith chimed in.
Merry face-hoofed. “You do know that I live in town, right? I can go home for the night.”
Applejack blushed and adjusted her hair. “Right… Well, thanks fer yer help Merry. Hay, Mac, could you see House upstairs?”
“Eeyup.” He stood up and nodded at the guest.
House shrank visibly upon seeing his host’s stature. “Er, lead on, Prince McIntosh.”
“It’s Big Macintosh.” He rumbled as the two mounted the stairs.
Applejack took Merry aside into the kitchen, away from prying ears. “Sugarcube, Ah been downright inconsiderate of ya today. You’ve been a big help ta me ‘n’ mine. Ah ain’t never been totally comfortable with the idea of servants, so Ah guess Ah been avoidin’ the issue. Ya sacrificed a lot ta come after me, and ya promised yerself to ma service, so, how can Ah take care a you? Do ya still have yer job? Is this still somethin’ ya want ta do?”
Merry May was a little lost for words for a moment. With Applejack so big and looming protectively close, she suddenly remembered why she was following the goddess. For all that Merry and AJ were the same age, Applejack radiated a sort of overpowering maternal beauty when she was concerned. Merry felt like a tiny foal being comforted by a worried mother. Finally, she found her voice. “Yes… Yes, it’s what I want. Um, I don’t think I do have a job anymore. Is being a knight a full-time job? ‘Cause I’d like it to be. Mr. House called me a senchesschal or something. I could move in and do that for you. And…” Merry’s voice trailed off as a blush crept into her cheeks.
“An’ what? Go on…”
“And, could we make it official? Like, have a little knighting ceremony or something? It doesn’t have to be fancy…”
Applejack smiled. “Sure. We can do things proper. Now, here, consider this yer first week’s advance.” She scooped a couple of large stacks of bits into a bag and hoofed it over to Merry. “Go on home fer tha night an’ we’ll figure out how ta get things settled in the mornin’.”
Merry solemnly accepted the money. Reaching in, she pulled out a single bit and gave it back to AJ. “Here, Ah gave one of yours away earlier.”
Applejack opened her mouth, but hesitated a moment before speaking. “Thank you fer yer honesty. Goodnight, Merry.”
“Goodnight, Applejack.” Merry curtsied slightly and trotted out the door.
***
Merry’s house was dark and strange-feeling after so long away. She got ready for bed quickly and set an alarm for six-thirty. She wasn’t sure if she would be able to get any sleep that night, but she was going to try.
Applejack was up very early the next day. She was no Twilight Sparkle, but she knew a bit about organizing teams and work. The next few days were going to be extremely busy, and she was calling in a lot of favors from the extended family. Plans and preparations were taking shape on the little desk she had scooted up to her bed. There was a lot to do today, but at the top of the list was a picnic.
***
Merry May jolted awake as her alarm clock rung itself violently across her dresser. She lunged for it, but got tangled up in her sheets instead. She landed on the floor with a soft thud and groaned in defeat. The manic little alarm clock finally made it all the way to the edge and leapt off, still dinging for all it was worth as it plummeted onto the limp heap that was Merry. Reaching for the now-spent alarm, she turned it to see the time. Six-thirty. Merry flopped back onto the floor. She had no idea why she had even bothered. It had all seemed very important last night that she get up early, while she was still basking in the warm glow of Applejack’s concern and attention. Merry closed her eyes, but the floor was too chilly to really fall asleep on. Sighing, she extracted herself from the blanket, stood up, and shook out her wings.
As she went about her morning grooming, the funk she had woken up in began to dissipate. Yes, Goddess’s knight or not, this was an awful hour to wake up at, but not impossible. She could get used to it. Merry trotted downstairs and opened her icebox. The inside was completely room temperature. She peeked into the drawer that held the ice. Inside was only sloshing water. Merry rolled her eyes and slammed the door shut; there was no breakfast to be had there. Opening a pantry, she made herself a bag of dry sugared oats. Still munching, she checked her mail. A couple of bills and a termination notice from her old job were all that she had gotten while she was away. Tossing the letters and nosebag aside, she wrapped her turban and headed out to face the day.
***
Though he would never admit it, House Divided had one of the best nights’ rest of his life in the Sweet Apple Acres guest room. The blankets smelled like a dusty linen closet, and the furnishings were simple and functional, but the bed was soft and plush, and the warmth from the wood stove downstairs left the room cozy in a way that simply wasn’t possible with electric heat or magefire. Over it all lingered the faint scent of cooked apples, flour, sugar and cinnamon from the countless years of baking and preserving that had left their mark down in the kitchen.
He was dozing peacefully when he heard a loud knocking at the door and a voice yelling, “Professor? Y’all ok in there? It’s nearly eight a.m.!” Before he had a chance to reply, his blankets were ripped from his bed, leaving him suddenly shivering in the morning air.
“What in Tirek’s bloody name did you do that for!?” he yelled, not catching himself before he realized just who he was yelling at.
“Y’all’re still asleep when there’s things ta be doin’. Yer on a farm now, even if it’s technically a palace. Ah’ve been up since before five gettin’ things prepared fer tha day. Mah brother has been up since six helpin’ me with finances and he’s outside now workin’ on winterizin’ tha farm. Even Merry’s out runnin’ errands fer me already.” Applejack frowned at him.
He hopped off of the bed and bowed low. “I-I’m sorry Princess. I didn’t realize…”
“Well now, yer mah tutor in bein’ a princess. Ah’m not gonna have much time today, but Ah’m havin’ a picnic at noon with some friends. You can have somethin’ prepared fer then, but don’t make it too involved. Ah don’t want ya ta bore them.” She turned to leave. “That sound alright to you?”
“Yes Princess,” he said. Applejack nodded and swept off to some other errand. House sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Princesses were a lot scarier in person. He was starting to rethink having volunteered for the position.
***
Merry May had been tasked by Applejack with making sure that all her friends knew that their usual Wednesday picnic lunch was still on. Additionally, she’d been given a whole laundry list of other things to ask them. Pinkie Pie was first on the list. Being a baker, she was generally up early helping the Cakes with setting up Sugarcube Corner. Merry trotted up to the colorful door with its cheery ‘Closed, come back soon!’ sign turned up. She knocked politely and sat down on the front step. A moment later she was squashed flat by a mass of pink falling from the sky. “Hi Merry! How’s guard life going?”
“Pinkie?”
“Yeppers peppers!”
“Um, can you get off?”
“Oh! Sure! Whatcha doin’?” she said as she leapt free of Merry.
“Well, firstly I’m here to let you know that Applejack wants to have your regular Wednesday picnic at noon. Also, she wants to know if the Cakes are willing to help cater a huge barn raising that she’s hosting.”
“Got it. I’m sure the Cakes will be hugely happy to host a hoedown for house hefting if Honesty has the hankering.”
“Honesty?”
“Her Highness, Happlejack!”
Merry’s head was spinning by this point. “Ok, just, um, expect somewhere between twenty and thirty ponies.”
“I’ll tell them. Thanks a bunch Merry! Remember to invite me for your birthday in two months!”
“Ok, I… sure. Will do.”
“See ya!”
***
Merry took some time to steady herself on the way to Carousel Boutique. Interacting with Pinkie always took it out of her. Hopefully the rest of Applejack’s friends wouldn’t be quite as energetic. As she approached the boutique, she spotted somepony poking her head out the door to switch the sign to ‘open’.
“Excuse me!” she called, “Is your name Rarity?”
“Why, yes darling! And welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique! Do I know you from somewhere?”
“Kinda, I’m Applejack’s…” Seneschal was flirting with the tip of her tongue, but she couldn’t quite remember the word. “Guard Captain… Merry May.”
A light came on behind Rarity’s eyes. “Ah! Of course. We met at the party after the coronation. Oh, what a party it was too! So many dignitaries and celebrities.” She giggled a bit. “And they all saw how lovely my gown was. Oh! And they even had the little cucumber sandwiches I love so much. I really don’t know how Celestia does it. So much to plan and organize and she did it in no time at all. Still. I guess that’s why she’s a goddess…” Rarity trailed off as she noticed the slightly panicked look in Merry’s eyes. “Ahem. Yes. Is there anything I can help you with dear?”
“Um, yeah. Applejack wanted you to know that she’s on for the picnic at noon and she wanted some advice from you on uniforms and what sort of armor she should order.”
“Oh, that’s excellent to hear. Hmm… I can’t say I’m much help when it comes to armor as a practical garment, but I do know what looks good and what doesn’t. I shall have to make inquiries to some friends of mine in Fillydelphia. All the really nice metalwork comes from there. At least, when it comes to buckles and jewelry I know it does. I believe they also have a reputation for excellent steel… But uniforms! Oh, if I were to design the uniform worn by an entire branch of the armed forces, worn perhaps for generations…” The somewhat high-strung unicorn gracefully fell into a swoon at the perfect angle for Merry to catch her. Merry tried to resist grunting at the weight of the surprisingly heavy mare.
After the barest of moments, and just before Merry started to sweat, Rarity’s eyes fluttered open. “Oh my, I just don’t know what came over me.” She righted herself and glanced up at Merry’s turban. “Is this going to be part of the ensemble?”
“Yes. Yes it will.” Merry’s voice came out a little firmer than intended. She had grown quite attached to her hat.
Rarity raised a hoof towards it. “May I?” She felt the material with the frog of her hoof. “At least it’s very good quality cotton. I think I can work with this.”
“Oh, I was gonna ask, could you maybe stitch a lining into this so I can take it off and put it back on easily?”
“Absolument madame,” she said, dipping briefly into Fancy. “It will be no trouble at all. I just need a few measurements.”
***
‘A few measurements’ turned out to be a half hour of posing and standing in awkward positions and trying on patterns while Rarity fussed and muttered over her sketch pads and drafting board. Finally, pleading lateness, Merry managed to escape her clutches and rush off to Twilight’s library. She knocked on the door, hoping against hope that this would be a more normal interaction. The tiny dragon who lived with Twilight opened the door. Merry had always thought it rather odd that somepony who lived around so many flammable books would choose a dragon as a companion. “Hi, is Twilight in?”
The dragon nodded “Yeah, she’s up. I’ll go get her. She isn’t at her best in the mornings though, so consider yourself warned.”
Merry stepped inside and sat herself on one of the convenient benches. Twilight Sparkle trotted heavily down the steps that led to the second story, bags still under her eyes. “Hi. You must be Merry Hay, right?”
“Almost, it’s Merry May.” She stood up to bump hooves with Twilight.
“Good to meet you officially.” She turned towards the dragon who was still hanging around. “Hay Spike, can you go put the kettle on? Would you like anything Merry?”
“No, I’m good.”
“So, you’re Applejack’s… protégé?” There was a small glint of sadness in Twilight’s eyes as she spoke.
“Um, more like an assistant. A sen- um, senshes…”
“Seneschal?”
“Yes, seneschal. Anyway, I’m here to let you know that Applejack still wants to have your usual Wednesday picnic at noon.”
Twilight stared off into space for a moment before replying. “Ok.”
Merry fidgeted a bit, expecting more of an answer. When none came, she said, “Alright. Um, I have a few letters for your dragon to deliver. It was Spike, wasn’t it?”
“Oh, yeah. Hay Spike!” Twilight called back to the kitchen.
“What?” Came the gruff reply.
“Merry has some stuff to deliver to Celestia.”
“Coming.” Spike trundled back out into the common room, an adorable apron covering his front. “What is it?” he asked, looking at Merry.
Merry dug about in her saddle bags and pulled out a dozen scrolls sealed with an apple sigil. “Here, Applejack said that it was very important that you deliver these one at a time, every hour, on the hour.”
Spike frowned. “What order do they go in?”
Merry hesitated. “I’m actually not sure. That’s all she told me. It’s royal business. I’m not gonna interfere.”
Twilight’s sharp eyes darted across the pile of scrolls, missing nothing. “I see. Go ahead and do as she asks, Spike. I’m going to have a talk with Applejack about this though.”
Spike shrugged, picked out a scroll at random, and incinerated it with a quick, casual puff of flame. The smoke formed into a writhing snake that took off towards the nearest open window. Merry’s eyes went wide at this. She’d heard that the resident dragon had some strange abilities, but seeing them in person was quite another thing entirely. She turned to Twilight. “Well, I guess I will see you later. Bye!”
“Sure. Bye.”
***
Merry flew across the gentle fields towards Fluttershy’s house. The rather mysterious recluse had a very mixed reputation in Ponyville. On the one hoof, she was stunningly beautiful, and was more than a little famous for her brief career as a model that had rocketed her to legendary status seemingly overnight and ended just as abruptly. In public, she tended to avoid all questions and greetings, but was rumored to have a volcanic temper when provoked. In addition, her seemingly obsessive collection of animals raised more than a few eyebrows among the locals, but her skill as an amateur veterinarian was unmatched, outstripping the skills of even the town’s licensed vet.
Merry landed on her front lawn and nervously rapped a hoof on her door. The door opened with nopony on the other side. Merry looked around, confused. A thumping noise from the ground alerted her to a very impatient looking white rabbit who was holding the door open. “Oh, is Fluttershy in? Uh. Do you even speak Equestrian?”
The rabbit rolled his eyes dismissively and slammed the door shut. Merry stayed where she was, utterly confused. She heard somepony trotting up to the other side of the door. With it still closed, she heard the pony mutter, “Who is it?”
“Um, It’s Merry May. Applejack’s seneschal.”
The door opened a tiny crack. “Oh, hello. Um, what can I help you with?”
Merry leaned her head to better see through the crack. “She wanted to say that she was hoping to have your usual picnic at noon today.”
Fluttershy’s voice warmed ever so slightly. “Oh, that sounds like so much fun. I’ll be there.”
“Okay. She’ll be waiting… It was good meeting you Fluttershy. I’ve heard so much about you.”
The door closed a fraction. “Oh, you have?”
“Good things, I’ve heard good things about you.”
The door continued its almost imperceptible journey towards the frame. “That’s nice. Um, I need to go water something… If that’s ok.”
“Ok, uh, bye!”
“…Bye.”
***
Merry flapped hard, trying to gain altitude. This last meeting was the one she dreaded most. Over to the west she spotted a team of pegasi pushing a nimbus into position over a cornfield. Steeling her resolve, she swooped into a gradual dive for speed, aiming straight at them. Long before she reached the cloud, a single pegasus peeled off of the group and headed straight for her. It was obviously Rainbow Dash for several reasons. First was the faint rainbow contrail that followed her. Second was the fact that she was traveling faster in a climb than Merry was in a dive. Sighing, Merry pulled up into a hover. Rainbow swooped past her and looped around to face her. “Merry May! You’ve got some nerve.”
Merry hung her head. “Sorry Ms. Dash.”
“Don’t ‘Ms. Dash’ me. Do you even know how much trouble you caused in the schedule? I tried covering for you for a whole week. When the big boss back in Cloudsdale found out he totally blew his top. Most of us have been pulling overtime to make up for it and everypony is feeling the strain. You screwed up big time, Merry. Not to mention you left all of us hanging.”
“I had to go after Applejack.”
This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Rainbow Dash’s face changed from a bright cyan to a deep purple. “You had to… I’m her best friend and I stayed back because I knew that I was needed here! Applejack was fine. She’s a big girl and can take care of herself, especially now. You, on the other hoof…” Rainbow glared at Merry. “You left us. Totally not cool.”
“Look, Rainbow Dash, I’m sorry. Like, I still think it was important, and so did Applejack.”
“So you’re saying I wasn’t good enough, huh? Is that it? I should have just abandoned everything?”
“I, no! That isn’t it at all. Dash, I was wrong to leave. It’s just, Applejack needs somepony other than her friends that she can order around. I’m that pony.”
By this time, several of the weather team had surreptitiously drifted closer to overhear the obviously gossip-worthy conversation. Rainbow spotted them and closed her eyes, rubbing the bridge of her nose with a fetlock. “Fine. Look, I’m sure you had some other reason to come here other than to get yelled at by me.”
Merry sighed with relief. “Yeah. She wants to have your regular picnic at noon today. You ok with that?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. Thanks for telling me. I guess I’ll see you around.” She dove over to where her team was making lazy circles. “You bunch get back to work! There’s nothing to see here. Go on! I swear, Thunderlane, if I have to…” They were soon out of earshot.
With her list completed for the morning, and feeling a little like a well-used punching bag, Merry flitted off to grab a well-earned early lunch.
***
Applejack trotted toward the field near Rainbow Dash’s house where she and her friends often picnicked. She was a little nervous. It would be the first time she had spent any real time with her friends since her flight and coronation. House trotted grumpily along behind her, carrying an extra blanket and a sack lunch for himself. He was closely followed by Merry. Applejack was the first to arrive, and she spread out her blanket and set out a basket of fritters that Granny had cooked fresh this morning. Merry and House set up a short distance away and started into their lunches immediately.
Within a minute or two, Fluttershy flitted low over one of the nearby hills, carrying a large napkin full of oatmeal cookies in her mouth. She gently deposited her bundle on the blanket and sat right next to Applejack, on the opposite side from where House and Merry were eating their lunches. “Hi.”
“Hay there, ‘Shy. How’ve ya been?”
“Oh, I’m doing well. I just recently helped a family of swallows with a very contagious cold. It makes me happy when I can see somecritter get better. Um, not that I want them to get sick in the first place. How are you?”
Applejack nodded. Before she could reply, Rarity and Pinkie trotted into view. Pinkie was balancing a plateful of éclairs on her head while Rarity had a crystal platter of deviled eggs hovering at her side. Pinkie, smiling hugely, reared up and waved with both forelegs at Applejack. “Hay! Applejack! It’s been for-ever! I need a hug!” She zoomed up to her friend and glomped her fiercely before letting go and carefully depositing her still-balanced plate of éclairs.
Rarity trotted up soon after, also smiling, and gave Applejack a friendly nuzzle. “It has been a little while, hasn’t it darling? The party or the little planning meeting hardly counts. We were so busy we barely had a chance to catch up.” She glanced across the field to where House and Merry were now engaged in some sort of glaring contest. “And you simply must tell me where Merry got that turban. Material like that is impossible to get outside of Zebrica.”
“Well, Ah don’t know tha whole story mahself, but she was travelin’ with a caravan of camels when Ah met her.”
As Applejack was speaking, Rainbow Dash flew up, carrying a large paper bundle stamped with Horte’s Cuisine all over. She unwrapped it and immediately dug into one of the hoagies it contained. Through a mouthful of bread, lettuce, tomatoes, sprouts and who-knows-what, she said, “Hay AJ!”
“Hay Dash.” Applejack held out a hoof which Dash promptly bumped. “So, Ah hope ya can…”
Applejack was interrupted by a sudden flash of purple as Twilight Sparkle teleported in. She was looking rather frazzled and carrying a very elaborate tea-service with fancy stamped biscuits. Twilight, and the biscuits, looked slightly singed. “Hi! Applejack! Princess! I brought tea!” Twilight glanced over at her platter of biscuits. “Oh no!”
Before she could teleport away, Applejack laid a hoof on her shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. What’s got ya all in a lather, Twi?”
“Me? Oh. Nothing. Everything’s fine. Yes. It’s good to see you.” With that, she sat down firmly and looked away. The various platters and dishes she was levitating settled down with a light clatter, and only a drop or two of spilled tea. Applejack signed internally. If Twilight didn’t feel like talking, Applejack wasn’t going to force her. The six of them settled into their lunch, chatting and laughing together.
***
After the six of them were completely full, and Applejack had retold her little adventure with Luna, AJ waved House over. “So, girls, Ah’m due fer some tutoring in bein’ a princess. If y’all want y’all can stick around and listen in.” There was a chorus of nods and yesses. “Alright House, we’re all ears.”
House trotted up and paced around a bit. “First of all, I’m sorry if I seem flustered. This isn’t the sort of classroom I’m used to. Right. The role of the Alicorns in government. Ahem. As you know, in ancient days, the pony tribes each ruled themselves separately from the others in an uneasy sort of alliance. The three mightiest tribes, Earth, Unicorn and Pegasus, eventually fell into infighting and deep intrigue, bringing about the long winter. What most don’t know, is that Celestia was present for all of…”
“House, we know all that already. Heck, Ah was the next best thing ta there for it.”
House went a bit red in the face. “Well, I’m sorry to have insulted the superior knowledge of a Princess. Shall I just go?”
“Calm down. Ah jest mean y’all can skip ahead to what it means. Ah know what happened back then.” Applejack held an éclair out to him as a peace offering.
Somewhat surprised by the gesture, he levitated it over to himself and took a bite before continuing. “Well, in those days, their legends and stories were replete with accounts of Celestia acting as a sort of arbiter in their conflicts and maintaining balance between them until the day they betrayed her. However, she always remained aloof from their more day to day concerns.
“After the Diaspora and Unification, Celestia and Luna began to show up in a more defined role as benevolent defenders of ponykind, taming the dangers and demons of the world. However, the burden of rulership fell upon the Princes and Princesses of the tribes. In those days, prince simply meant first, without the connotation of royalty and godhood that the title now carries. The Unicorn Princess was always the rightful Queen of the Unicorns, while the Earthlings and Pegasi had various methods of election to determine who should lead.
“The Triumvirate, the three chief princes of the ponies, held absolute power over ponykind. When any two of them agreed on a matter, it became law to be executed by the lesser nobles. This arrangement might have continued indefinitely if it weren’t for the Shattering.” House paused. One of the unicorns listening had her hoof raised. “Yes?”
Rarity cleared her throat before responding. “The Shattering, I have heard this term before, but I am not entirely clear on what it refers to. Would you care to elaborate on it?”
Twilight turned to her friend. “I can answer that, if you don’t mind, House?” House shrugged, so Twilight continued. “The Shattering was a very dark time for ponykind. This was the time of Discord, when he first wreaked his insanity on the world. A huge force of demons and monsters laid siege to Equestria, causing madness and horror wherever they went. A lot of the songs and poems of the time describe it as a battle of chaos and order, with each side locked into brutal war. The tales tell also of a mighty dragon who sacrificed himself to become the avatar of balance so that Celestia and Luna could forge and wield the Elements of Harmony. Afterwards, the princes were dead, and the nobility was greatly weakened. Celestia and Luna then stepped in as rulers. That period also saw the rise of the Crystal Empire, as the crystal ponies rejected the rule of the three great tribes. Is that right, professor?”
House Divided nodded, impressed in spite of himself. “Essentially. Something to remember is that, in general, ponies are creatures of peace and stability. They wanted rulers who would always be there for them, who would be as eternal and unchangeable as the sun and the moon. The nobility wasn’t quite ready to give up its power, however, which lead to the formation of the first Equestrian Parliament. The government was restructured under the fiction that the body of the parliament would stand in for the third prince of the ancient Triumvirate. If Celestia and Luna were unified in anything, their word was absolute. If one wanted to override the other, they needed the support of a majority of parliament. There is much more to how this system played out in real politics, but that is the gist of it.”
From across the fields, the Ponyville clock tower struck out one o’ clock. Applejack stirred herself. “Well, Ah guess that’s a good place ta stop fer today. Ah’ve got more letters ta write and mah friends need to get back to their jobs. Thanks fer sayin’ yer piece.” She and her friends said their goodbyes and started gathering up their things. Before they left, Applejack felt her hackles rise, and she spun to face the nearest tree. “Who’s there? Ah can buck a grown oak out a tha ground no sweat. That little tree ain’t gonna hide ya.”
Timidly, Goldengrape trotted out from the other side of the tree. He promptly prostrated himself flat on the ground at Applejack’s hooves. “Don’t banish me!” he wailed. Merry May rushed up instantly and placed a hoof on his back, a look of anger on her face.
Applejack trotted a full circle around him. “Well. After what ya did a couple a weeks ago, I might do jest that. Whut possessed ya ta come crawlin’ back here?”
“I-I was hoping that you could lift the blight on my crops. I’ll do whatever you want. Just, please, lift the curse. I could lose my vineyard.”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes went huge. “Woah, you cursed him? Serves him right for stealing a feather off of your wing.”
Applejack backpedaled a bit. “Ah never did! Ah ain’t that way. If Ah was gonna settle things, Ah would do it mahself, in person.” Her eyes narrowed and she leaned down to glare in his face. “On tha other hoof, Ah don’t feel too inclined ta help a pony who’d pull a sleazy move like that. What do you think, girls?” She turned around so he couldn’t see and winked at her friends. “Should Ah go easy on him?”
Rarity, deadly serious, suggested, “Perhaps you should sell him as a slave to the Diamond Dogs. See how he likes being treated like chattel.”
Applejack was pretty sure Rarity wasn’t joking in the least. “Uhm, that’s one option. How about you Fluttershy? Whut should we do with this rotten grape?”
Fluttershy got a stern look in her eyes. “It was a very mean thing that he did. I don’t think he should get any supper… Ever. No more dinner.”
Dash cut in. “That’s actually pretty good Fluttershy, but I was thinking he should have to clean all the toilets and outhouses in the whole duchy. Maybe we can keep him on bread and water while he does it.”
Pinkie started bouncing around. “Oh, oh, oh! We should draw and quarter him! With real crayons and loose change!”
Applejack looked at Twilight, who seemed almost as nervous as Goldengrape. She hesitantly volunteered. “Well, violating the body of a Princess, even a feather, is technically high-treason. He could be banished and imprisoned in the place we banish him to…”
Applejack, her own anger thoroughly deflated in the face of her friends’ wrath, turned back to look at Goldengrape. He was quivering on the ground, still pinned by Merry. Applejack leaned down to look him in the eye once more. “Ah was thinkin’ more along the lines of you givin’ mah feather back and volunteerin’ ta cater all the city-council meetings free of charge until next summer. But if Ah hear of you doin’ anythin’ like this again, Ah’ll let mah friends have their way. Ya hear?”
Goldengrape nodded vigorously.
“Good. Ah’ll swing by yer farm in a couple a days ta see what Ah can do. Let him up, Merry.”
Merry lifted her hoof off of his back. Goldengrape promptly started shuffling backwards, still bowing, until he was out of range. He then turned and high-tailed it for the hills.
Applejack watched him go. “Ah wonder how he knew we were here?”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Thunderlane…”
Applejack glanced over at Rainbow Dash. “It ain’t that big a deal. Still, thanks fer havin’ mah back like that, girls. Ah’m probably gonna have ta hold court sooner or later. Maybe doin’ it after a picnic wouldn’t be that bad an idea… That is, if you gals’re ok with it.”
Rainbow Dash spoke for the rest of them. “Of course! No way we’d let you do that all by yourself.”
Applejack smiled. She really had the best friends in the world.
After the picnic, the rest of the day passed in a monotony of further writing and planning. Applejack had tried to write several of the letters by magic after her jaw began to cramp, but the results had been illegible. Late in the evening she finished her correspondence. Looking for a chance to exercise, she went out to get the winter’s firewood laid in. Big Macintosh was still out tending the orchards, and wouldn’t be likely to have time for it for a week or two at least. She had pushed herself physically, testing the limits of what her body could do without magical augmentation. Even before the change, Applejack’s command of ascetic magic had been as natural as breathing, so, without it, the work was actually more exhausting than usual. As she worked up a good lather, she let her mind clear, putting aside her worries and stresses.
***
House found himself at loose ends. His research materials were mostly packed and hopelessly jumbled, and he was pretty sure that he would be worse than useless at farm work. He finally settled for pulling out the book at the heart of his current study and giving it another clean read-through, without bothering with notes. The book was ancient and wrapped in protective magics far stronger than anything he could even dream of casting.
As he read, he thought back on the brief lesson he had given earlier. It had pained him, having to simplify that much. He was a researcher first, and the few classes he taught were exclusive to post-graduate students and other faculty. He could tell that he would have to be patient with Princess Mara. On the other hoof, she obviously had sources of knowledge that mortals were not privy to. Most information about the time before Celestia’s monarchy had only recently come to light, including the manuscript he now held. Her intellectual makeup was an odd mixture of innocence and cunning that he rarely encountered in his ivory-tower world. It disturbed, impressed and intrigued him all at once.
From downstairs, he heard the front door slam to chorus of cheerful ‘howdy!’s. After a moment came the distinctive clomping of the Princess up the stairs. House poked his head out the door of the guest room and immediately regretted it. The Princess was panting slightly as she headed towards the bathroom, and her coat was streaked with white lather. The stench was overwhelming. Some tiny part of him rebelled at this revelation; Princesses should smell like lavender, or maybe apples in this case, even when they sweat! Suppressing a gag, it was all House could do to nod at Mara.
Mara nodded back. “Hay there sugar. Sorry ‘bout cuttin’ ya short back at tha picnic.” She glanced at the book being held in his magic. “What’cha readin’ there?”
Startled, he glanced down at the book that he had absently brought with him. “Oh, it’s a journal. Now, don’t look at me like that. I have permission to read it. It belonged to Celestia a long time ago. She released it to the college of history at Canterlot University a year back. A lot, actually, has been released from the Royal Archives in the years since Luna’s return. I suspect, though, that my study of this book is the reason my application to be your tutor was accepted.”
“Oh? When’s it from?”
“Well, it’s from around the time of what some scholars are calling the Lunar Rebellion…” He trailed off, obviously not happy with the term.
“Ah think Ah hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere.”
“Yes, well, in light of this book, I think the older term might be more appropriate.”
“And what is that?”
“The Nightmare.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Well, first thing Ah gotta do is take a shower-”
“Thank Celestia!” House immediately clamped a hoof over his mouth. This was why he was a research professor, not a teacher. He had a very difficult time controlling his mouth.
Applejack gave him a stare that was slightly more amused than angry. “As Ah was sayin’, Ah think Ah’m gonna have a nice soak after. Why don’t ah call ya in when Ah’m decent and settled, and ya can tell me about it, ok?”
House nodded, grateful to have dodged banishment once again. “As you wish, Princess.”
***
House, of course, had an easy time hearing Applejack’s shout of, “Ready!” He carefully knocked on the door before opening it. “Come on in,” she said. House entered. A curtain had been drawn partway around the tub, leaving only Applejack’s head visible as she reclined in the bubbly water. Her voluminous golden hair hung limply around her face, while a serene smile played about her lips. “Go on and tell me ‘bout the Nightmare. Ah swear Ah won’t fall asleep on ya.”
House opened his book, flipped around to a few different places, then shut it again. “Well, I suppose I should ask you what you already know about Luna’s fall. You seem to be a lot more knowledgeable than anypony has a right to be.”
“Well, Ah know that it happened after Sombra kidnapped her and she and Celestia killed him tha first time, but that’s about it.” House stayed silent for quite some time, so Applejack turned her head to look at him. He was staring at her, eyes wide. “Yes?”
“King Sombra actually kidnapped her? Physically? This just mentions a spell…This changes everything…”
Applejack settled back down into her bath. “Ah’ll see what Ah can tell ya about that another time. What happened after tha spell?”
“Right, well, the princesses thought they had broken it after the defeat of Sombra. However, there was a more long-term effect as well. As far as I can translate, Luna began withdrawing from her own kin, by which I assume the book means ponykind.”
“Translate? Ah thought they still spoke Equish back then.”
“They did, but this is Celestia’s private journal. It was written in Old-High-Unicornian. Even by that time, the language was unfathomably ancient and completely dead. Anyways, Luna began withdrawing herself from society. She all but abandoned the nobility of her court, meeting them perhaps once or twice per year, and she ceased her dreamwalking entirely. The book seems to indicate that she may have ceased sleeping at all. Her mannerisms, while they were always rougher than her sister’s, became yet harsher and more inscrutable. The tiniest mishap could send her into a towering rage. She frightened ponies so badly that they largely ceased even attending the Night court. Meanwhile, her few loyal retainers were covertly attacked and publicly discredited by a hidden and very illegitimate cult of the sun. One day, Celestia went to visit her in her chambers, bringing… something. I haven’t worked out what. What Celestia saw inside was no longer her sister, but a beast instead. She had fallen to the Nightmare.
“Nightmare Moon, as she was later called, stalked up to Celestia and snatched away the gift she had brought. It’s a little unclear what happened next, but there is mention in the passage about weeping and blood… Nightmare began screaming at Celestia in one of the ancient tongues, with words that could be heard across Equestria. Her final shout was the infamous declaration, ‘The night shall last forever!’ With those words, she launched herself at her sister with a fury and violence that has never been seen before or since…”
“Go on, whut happened next?”
“Well, it’s incredibly awful. With what I’ve been able to piece together from this book and other sources, the Lunar Rebellion is a total fiction. There was no organized marshaling of troops or clearly drawn battle-lines. There weren’t even soldiers. Celestia and Luna clashed in the hurricane skies of Equestria for months while the ponies below mirrored their conflict in blood and mud and steel. Hideous lights and thunder that would shatter glass pealed out at all times of that unnatural night, making true sleep impossible. The dark goddess’s power and horror and anguish invaded the minds of ponies everywhere, making life a waking nightmare. Reality and dream blurred and bled into one another, often literally. Among ponies, there were no sides in the Nightmare War. Everypony turned against her neighbor and lashed out with the despair and confusion of the utterly hopeless.”
Applejack had sat up in the tub by this time. “So, tha whole world was thrown into murderin’ and chaos, jest because Luna went mad?”
“That and more. I think that is the real reason why there are so few records of the time. Nopony, not a single one, was spared from the atrocity. At the end, when a single, blinding rainbow cut through the storms, the sun shone on a ruined Equestria. The cries of the widows, widowers and orphans rang out for weeks on end as the world desperately tried to wake itself from a Nightmare that was all too real. There was so much blood on everypony’s hooves that they were forced to ignore what had happened, just so that they could live with themselves.” House glanced at the book that sat beside him, a haunted expression on his face. “I… I don’t know if I can publish the full account. I don’t think it would be safe for anypony, if everyone knew what the Sisters are capable of, nevermind the violence.”
Applejack crouched down in the tub, her hulking form seemed somehow shrunken, and her muzzle was scrunched up in an expression of shocked realization. “Whut Ah’m capable of…”
House hesitated, then nodded. “Yes. I heard about the thorns. I’m certain that is the least of what you could do. Remember though, Luna was under the effects of a powerful and terrible spell, and even then it took years for her to fall.” House sighed. “I’ve been wrestling with myself about whether or not to ask Luna in a letter about the nature of the spell that felled her. Psychotropic magic is notoriously potent. Even a simple affection spell is so dangerous as to be completely illegal. The mere fact that she resisted it for so long without even being conscious of it speaks of a mind and will so deep as to be incomprehensible. If, instead, there was some technique she used, some mantra or counterspell, it could make the world a lot safer.”
Applejack gazed owlishly at House, looking incongruously ridiculous as her sopping hair framed her solemn face. “Luna don’t know.” She closed her eyes and shook her head slowly. “Luna don’t know any of it, and you ain’t gonna tell her. Y’all ain’t gonna say a word. If she asks, you run. Now, run along. Ah’m gonna towel off.”
***
Applejack went to bed that night deeply disturbed. House’s words had triggered a profound sense of sorrow and trepidation in her. She supposed it might be an artifact of her burgeoning second sight, but she had caught faint whispers of what the ponies of the time must have felt while he had told their story. She tossed and turned for a while before falling into a fitful sleep.
***
Her dreams were filled with storm clouds whipping about at gale speeds as faint wails and screams of panic and rage drifted up from below. Nothing was visible in any direction except roiling grey and black. Another scream, this one pure hatred, sounded out from above her with a volume that tore streaks in the cloud cover. A horrific chorus echoed it in twisted unison from the darkness below. A sudden staccato of thunder sounded from above. In the strobing light, Applejack could see two alicorns locked in brutal combat. There was another, quieter, cry, and then the two were gone again from sight.
Suddenly, Luna rose up from her left, shouting, “I think Celestia’s planning something!”
Applejack yelled hoarsely and fell into an uncontrolled dive. Luna dove after her, expanding to fill the world as she wrapped her wings around Applejack. When she opened them again a moment later, Applejack was deposited onto a soft couch in room filled with colorful tapestries and a crackling fire in the corner. “Art thou alright, Applejack? It seemed to be some sort of nightmare we rescued thee from.”
Applejack’s glance darted around the room in a panic. “Uh, Ah ate… somethin’ um… terrifyin’ before bath-uh-bed. Eeyup, indigestion.”
Luna gave Applejack an incredulous glance. “Truly? You can tell me what it is. I have been dreamwalking for millennia. There is almost no specter nor feverish fantasy for which I would judge you.”
Applejack furrowed her brow. “Well, Ah’m afraid ta ask, but whut would ya judge me for?”
Luna turned aside to tend the possibly imaginary fire. There was a grim expression in her eyes, and her withers were tense, as if ready to flee. “Well, how dost thou feel about ink blotters?”
AJ blinked. “Ah, uh, don’t have strong feelings either way. Take ‘em or leave ‘em.”
Seeing Applejack’s consternation, Luna burst into a hearty gut-laugh. “I hope thou knowest that I speak in jest. Haha! Come, thou art a sister, there is nothing that would sway my loyalty to thee.”
Applejack smiled awkwardly, not really seeing the joke. After Luna had calmed down, she asked, “So, you were sayin’ somethin’ about Celestia?”
Luna nodded. “She has been working overtime lately. More than I have seen her do since my return. I feel as though she is clearing her schedule for something. Perhaps she plans to visit you? I know she deeply desires to get to know you better.”
“She wants ta come visit? Ah really don’t think she’d enjoy herself out here on tha farm. It ain’t really up to Canterlot standards at all.”
Luna smiled warmly. “To be honest, I don’t think my sister is either. She loves her ponies like a mother, and has worn the face of infallibility for a thousand years, but you should have seen her in times long past. Time was she would throw wild feasts to rival anything imaginable to Pinkie, and would challenge her guards and retainers to races. Some days she would simply take her flute, leave the castle and wander about playing music so beautiful as to make the heart melt and the world hold its breath. I think, after I left, ponies were terrified of her. With me gone and her utterly alone, I can easily imagine her giving herself completely to the royal image to calm their fears and be their rock. It may have been necessary at the time, but I do not think it is either healthy or needful any longer. I cannot tell you how much it heartens me to see her excited about something like this.”
“Well, if she asks, Ah’m ok with it. Let her know Ah do plan to have a lot more space fer guests in the next week.”
“Excellent, I shall drop the hint.” Luna glanced at the doorway to the room. “Applejack?”
“Yes?”
“If she comes down, I shall likely stay behind to catch any matters that may spring up in the interim. However, may I still visit thee in dreams like this? I would actually like to teach thee combat. Thou wilt have guards, but they must be trained and, after all, they are more for the protection of the foolish ponies who would try to assault thy puissant self. If there is a real threat to thee, no number of ponies shall be enough. Indeed, in such a matter it would be cowardly to hide behind them, rather than to rise up and defend them as thou ought.”
“That sounds alright ta me. Tomorrow night?”
Luna smiled. “That sounds like fun, see you then.”
Luna’s face slowly faded from view, leaving Applejack to the oblivion of dreamless sleep.
***
Applejack had woken to a huge pile of scrolls being dumped on her all at once. After a moment of sputtering in shock and surprise, she wiped the sleep out of her eyes and opened one at random. It was from Celestia. Applejack couldn’t help but chuckle. There were exactly a dozen of them. Heh, she responded ta every single one. The first one read:
Dear Applejack,
I must admit, your little surprise was quite a relief from the interminable meetings today. One of the scrolls dropped square on the horn of a visiting minotaur as he was paying his respects. It was all I could do to keep from bursting out in laughter at the sight of it perched so neatly on his head.
Yours,
Celestia
Applejack pawed through the pile and opened a few more.
Dear Applejack,
Sending these letters every hour, on the hour, was a stroke of genius. They managed to interrupt me at quite the most inopportune of times. The letter in front of me now was dropped in a bowl of watercress soup, and is nearly illegible.
Yours,
Celestia
Dear Applejack,
Honestly, Applejack, you’re quite as bad as Luna. I hope you know this means war. You should know that I play the long game, and I play to win. This particular letter nearly landed in the garden fountain.
Yours,
Celestia
Dear Applejack,
I bet you must be wondering by now: if you are opening these at random, how are you reading them in sequence? If you ask nicely, I may tell you someday.
Yours,
Celestia
Applejack dropped the scroll and kicked the pile off of her bed, thoroughly spooked.
***
Applejack was much less busy than the day previous. She spent a few hours in the morning listening to a lecture from House on the differences between Earthen and Pegasus theories of democracy and found the time to lend Big Mac a hoof around the farm. For lunch she invited Merry to Sugarcube Corner to discuss business.
When the two had found a table, Pinkie bounced up with her usual energy. “So, aaaanything I can get you two?”
AJ smiled. “Alfalfa smoothie fer me.”
Merry thought a moment. “How about a couple of maple doughnuts?
Pinkie bowed low and rushed back into the kitchen to prepare the snack.
“So,” said Applejack, “We need ta get this whole guard thing figured out. Before Ah say anythin’ what’re your thoughts, sugar cube?”
Merry leaned back in her chair as her gaze wandered to the ceiling. “Well, like, I don’t really know anything about fighting. I don’t think I’ve even been in a brawl before. I can try, but I kinda doubt I’m gonna be any good. I like doing the whole seneschal thing, though.”
Pinkie had returned by that time, expertly balancing a tray on her head. “Here you go, an alfalfa smoothie and two maple doughnuts; the sprinkles are on the house. Anything else?” Both of the other ponies shook their heads. Pinkie smiled and winked at them before going to help the other patrons.
Merry called out a thanks to Pinkie before continuing. “And, there was one other thing. You remember the bit I gave back to you?”
AJ nodded. “Ah was gonna ask you about that.”
“I gave it away to somepony who looked like she needed it. I mean, there’s lots to fight besides invaders and monsters. We could fight hunger, or-or hobos!” Several of the nearby patrons stared incredulously at Merry.
Applejack chuckled. “Heh, Ah think you mean fight homelessness.” Between sips of her smoothie, Applejack said, “Ah’ve been thinkin’ about that. Ah don’t need much protecting anyhow, and Equestria don’t really need more soldiers. We’ve got tha Royal Guard, tha Army, tha Wonderbolts, Royal Artillery, the Foreign Legion and Celestia only knows what else… Did you ever hear ‘bout tha Appleloosan-Buffalo war?”
“I think so. It was a bunch of skirmishes that went on when Appleloosa was first settled. They say it’s a miracle that nopony died in the fighting.”
“Durn straight. Most of it was just little raids and dust-ups. Ah was there fer tha only day of actual fighting. Ah saw the Appleloosa clock tower smashed to splinters from the battle, and Ah saw Chief Thunderhooves take a pie right to tha face. Whut Ah also saw was a group of brave and resourceful ponies willin’ ta defend what they held dear, even against terrifyin’ odds, far from any hope of aid. And what’s more, they were unwillin’ to take a life to do it. Ah happen to know fer a fact that Sheriff Silver Star owns a rifle… But even when all looked lost, and the pies started runnin’ out, he faced his fate with dignity and integrity. If it had been a bullet that took down the Chief, Ah don’t think there’d be an Appleloosa today. Tha Buffalo woulda sworn an eternal war on ponies and they would have leveled the town like they were already in process of doin’.”
Applejack, whose gaze had drifted off into the distance, looked back at Merry May. “The thing is, Ah don’t think any of that was really necessary. If we’d had somepony there in tha first place, ta teach us that we gotta share, we gotta care fer one another –”
“I said that!” shouted Pinkie from behind the counter.
“No, Pinkie, y’all sang that, and there’s a huge difference,” Applejack shouted back. A mild ‘humph’ was the only reply. “Anyhow, ta show ponies that there’s a better way, that eveypony’s needs can be met, Ah think that’s what Ah want mah guard ta do. Yeah, they need ta know how to defend a place as a last resort, but, like you say, their first job will be to travel about, helpin’ ponies ‘n’ others to coexist ‘n’ provide fer themselves and fer others.”
Merry’s eyes lit up as AJ spoke, but her expression quickly fell. “Applejack… I don’t think I can do any of that. I’ve never been a leader. I have no idea how to organize that kind of thing. I was just a weathermare before. You should probably make me a hoofmaiden or something.”
Applejack laid a hoof on Merry’s shoulder. “Hay now, sugar cube. Ah’ve seen ya lead a parade to cheer me up, and a caravan of camels to rescue me. You’ve said ya want this before. Is that still true?” Merry nodded. “Then what kinda earth-goddess would Ah be if Ah couldn’t help ya grow?”
Merry smiled. “Thanks, but shouldn’t I be the one keeping you happy?”
“That don’t mean Ah can’t do the same fer you. We’re in this together, right?” Applejack offered her hoof.
Merry bumped it solemnly. “Right.”
“Alright, you go ahead and finish lunch, then take tha afternoon ta think about it a little more. Ah’m thinkin’ we’ll have tha knightin’ in a couple a days, once we’ve hashed out tha oath. Ah’m gonna go talk ta Twilight.”
“Will do. Have fun!”
***
Twilight was busy sorting through a stack of scrolls that had been sent earlier in the day. They were all from Princess Celestia, and each one was post-dated for various days throughout the rest of the month. She had just finished laying them in chronological order in her writing desk when Applejack knocked on her door. She trotted over to it and opened it before Spike could get there. “Oh! Hi… Applejack. What brings you here?”
“Howdy, Twi. Ah was jest stoppin’ by ta see when ya wanted to practice magic. Ah kinda have mah schedule under control fer the next couple a weeks. What times are convenient fer you?”
Twilight glanced at her clock. “Actually, early afternoons are best. I find that the first rush is at three and then again at five, so, right now is perfect. Would you like to start in on it now?”
“Sure, Ah have a couple of hours. Whut did ya have in mind?”
Twilight furrowed her brow in thought. “Well… You aren’t a foal, so just making you practice levitation until it starts to make instinctual sense is probably less effective. Besides, you already have a cutie mark, that’s usually a big boost in helping a unicorn get a handle on more complex magic. But, maybe we can use that to our advantage… I’ve got it.”
“Got what?”
“Come on AJ, we’re going to the hardware store.”
***
They actually went to several stores before Twilight found what she wanted. The two were now walking back to the library with a full wheelbarrow load of loose stone in Twilight’s telekinetic grip. Applejack gazed at it appraisingly. “So, what’s all this for again?”
Twilight wiped a small drop of sweat from her brow before replying. “This is shale. I figured we could try channeling. It’s what they do in hospitals after a pony suffers a serious horn-injury to relearn magic. One pony will cast a mid-level spell on something, but use only a wisp of power, just enough to start, but not finish, the spell. The recovering pony will then pour their magic into the other unicorn’s spell, helping them refine their control and get a feel for complex weaves.” Twilight let out a huge sigh of relief as she dumped the stone behind her house.
“That sounds alright ta me, but what are we actually gonna do to the shale?”
“Oh, right, well, since your cutie mark has to do with the earth, I thought it would be best to cast a spell related to geology. I’m going to weave a basic metamorphosis spell to turn the shale into slate. I could use a new chalkboard anyway. What I want you to do is, after I fire up my spell, just grab the rock with your telekinesis. Try to feel what I’m doing and wrap your magic around mine. Trust me, it will make sense when you try it.”
Applejack frowned. “Couldn’t that hurt you, Twi? Ah may not be good at this whole thing, but Ah got power ta spare.”
Twilight smiled up at her friend. “No, don’t worry. I’ve practiced this with Celestia herself. If you do lose control, I know how to deal with the extra magic. Now, let’s try it.” Applejack nodded and settled into a ready stance. Twilight lifted a portion of the loose rock with her magic and arranged it in the air. She shaped it into a thick sheet and glanced out of the corner of her eyes at AJ. “Ok, Applejack, whenever you’re ready.”
Applejack closed her eyes, lowered her horn and sent out an exploratory pulse of magic. She felt the shape of the stone, solid and real. She also felt the tingle of Twilight’s spell. Right as she started to reach out to it, she felt a jerk on her horn and a loud, crunching, screeching, scraping noise filled the air and broke her concentration. When she opened her eyes, she saw that the floating stone had compressed into a solid mass, streaked with white and black. “Did we do it?”
Twilight grimaced and let the rock drop to the street with a resounding thud. “Well, this is gneiss…”
Applejack grinned. “Well, shucks, it was only mah first try too. Ah don’t know how that was supposed ta help me feel the spell though. It was a mite too fast.”
Twilight facehooved. “No, I mean this is the rock called gneiss. You pressed way, way, way too hard. Ugh, this isn’t going to work. We need a much more complex spell.”
Applejack scratched her head for a moment. She racked her brain for what little she knew about complex magic. Her mind drifted back to something Luna had shown her a week ago. “Twilight, Ah think Ah have an idea…”
That night, as Applejack dreamed, she found herself back in the tapestry-filled room where she had last spoken with Luna. The other goddess was already there, inspecting her hoof in boredom. She smiled when she spotted Applejack. “Well-met, sister.”
“Howdy.” Applejack looked around again at the room. “What is this place?”
Luna glanced about the room fondly. “This was my favorite room in the old castle in the Everfree. It’s a very strong memory, so it’s quite fitting for a meeting place in the realm of dreams.”
“So, ya wanted ta teach me combat? Won’t that be a mite tricky in a dream? Ah mean, they ain’t exactly true to life.”
Luna nodded and strode towards the door. “That would be true of many dreams, but this one is equal parts memory and magic, a potent combination. You will find that many of your waking limits apply here as well.” Applejack followed her into the hallway beyond as she continued, “I’m quite excited to have a sparring partner who can at least match me in power again. The current captains are nothing compared to the old heroes.”
Applejack squinted at the back of Luna’s head. “Ya do this often? Ah think Ah woulda heard about Princess Luna attackin’ ponies in their sleep.”
Luna glanced back and smiled. “I only train the heads of the various services this way. State secret. Anyways, Ironsides is getting old, Spitfire is fierce, but she tends to make bad strategic decisions, Thunderbolt is a genius, but he has no skill whatsoever at hoof-to-hoof, and Night Watch is just as overcautious as Shining Armor was, but far less resourceful.”
The two were making their way down into the depths of the castle, passing door after door. One in particular caught Applejack’s eye. It was bricked in and marked across the top in a deeply carved inscription, AVRORA IN IGNOMINIA FACIEM OCCVLVIT. “Whut’s that?” she said.
Luna turned back to see what Applejack was looking at. Her face immediately grew somber. “Would you like to see?” Luna inclined her head and the bricks disappeared, leaving a gaping black hole in the wall. “Go on.”
Applejack entered slowly, peering about in the darkness. After a moment she remembered to light her horn, casting a weak glow. In front of her was a life-size statue of what could only be Celestia, rearing with her wings swept wide and threatening. It was wrapped in grim, grey steel barding, studded here and there with ominous looking rubies. Luna stood beside Applejack as she gazed on wordlessly.
After several minutes Luna spoke. “Celestia had two options when I fell.” Luna ran her hoof over the smoothly shining metal. “This is where she bound her power. She can summon this suit with a thought. In one sense, it is her, or part of her anyway. The pony who wears it could level mountains and roll the surface of the earth before her like a scroll. Not that it would fit anypony else. I saw her wear it exactly once, when she forged it. Never once since that time, millennia ago, has she so much as looked at it.”
Applejack frowned. “Why hasn’t she used it? There’s plenty a times that that much power coulda come in useful. Chrysalis wouldn’t’ve bothered her a bit if it’s that strong. Heck, even Discord mighta been a piece a cake.”
Luna smirked at Applejack. “You and I both know that Discord isn’t like that. No amount of raw force can harm a being who melts so readily in and out of reality. As for Chrysalis… There have been other times when ponykind was in dire straits, far worse than those. I begged her to summon the Alicorn Armor on more than one occasion, but she utterly refused each time. Celestia never does anything without a plan, but I would guess that here she simply intends to shut it away and forget about it.”
Applejack narrowed her eyes at Luna, then gazed up and down the statue. Finally she pointed a hoof at the criniere around its neck. In the center was mounted a little medallion with the bust and wings of an alicorn, inset with a large ruby. “Ah recognize that. Zecora has that piece. That’s tha Alicorn Amulet that Trixie used to take over Ponyville.”
Luna looked at AJ with confusion. “Soothly? I suppose she never even took it with her when she abandoned the old palace. It’s irresponsible of her to leave such things lying about. Still, if it is just the amulet, that’s not a great worry. There’s little enough power in that bauble.” Luna harrumphed. “Come, the night wears on and these specters of the past begin to tire me.” As Luna stepped back into the hallway her ears perked towards the way they had come from. “Actually, go on ahead Applejack. I have something to take care of briefly.”
***
Merry May spasmed awake, flopping off of her bed while gasping and clutching at her stomach. When she saw she was back in her room she took a deep breath to try and steady her nerves. The nightmares she had been having lately were getting worse. This time she had dreamed that somepony had sliced her in half with a sword.
Now that she had collected herself, she wanted to find whatever jerk had told her that dying in a dream killed you in real life and give him a piece of her mind. With a final shudder and a sigh, she dragged her blanket off of her bed and huddled in front of her heater. She was far too worked up to get back to sleep tonight.
***
The next few days passed quickly as they awaited replies to the various letters Applejack had sown across Equestria. Merry found herself spending more and more time at Applejack’s side. There often wasn’t much else for her to do, since the farm was essentially squared away for the coming winter. Most often she would just wait patiently with a book or something small she could put down at a moment’s notice. Occasionally Applejack would ask her opinion on some small thing or other and they would chat a bit, but for the most part they kept a companionable silence.
During those quiet moments it was easy to think of Applejack as just another pony, one of the herd. When they were out in public was an entirely different story. Merry hovered nearby wherever Applejack walked, looking out for particularly purposeful looking ponies. That Friday, while Applejack was heading to Twilight’s place for a lesson, Merry spotted a light yellow pony with a saddlebag full of papers making a beeline towards AJ.
Merry quickly headed him off before Applejack could see him. Landing square in his path, Merry extended a hoof in greeting. “Howdy! I’m Merry, Seneschal to Princess Mara. What’s your name, stranger?”
The pony distractedly muttered, “Tall Poppy, from the Hay Board.” He attempted to dodge around Merry, but she quickly followed his steps.
“I’m afraid if you have any business for the princess, it will have to wait until next Wednesday, when she holds court.”
Poppy reared up angrily. “Get out of my way! I’m not here to see the ‘princess’. I have urgent business with Miss Twilight Sparkle. Now move!” He stepped forward as if to push Merry out of the way.
For the briefest moment, Merry quailed under his rage. What if his business really is urgent? Do I have the right to keep him away? Merry’s eyes hardened. Yes, yes I do. I’m the Captain of a Princess, for Mara’s sake! Merry stepped forwards and butted heads with Poppy, somewhat grateful for the cushioning her turban provided. “Do you have an appointment with Twilight?”
“No, but I—“
“Well Princess Mara does. Do you really think you’re hot enough stuff to interrupt the princess and Twilight Sparkle while they’re conducting magical experiments? Like, if it’s really that important, you can explain it to me, and I’ll decide if it’s worth bugging Princess Mara for.”
Poppy snarled before backing off. “Fine, I’ll leave, but I won’t forget this.” He trotted off in a huff.
Merry called after him, “Hay, don’t be like that. Just tell me what the problem is!” Merry rolled her eyes as the stallion trotted out of sight. She made her way over to the front door of the library and settled down nearby with her book. The building behind her sporadically gave off strange flashes of orange and purple as the roar of hidden and ancient magics emanated from within. There was no way she was going in there while those two were busy tearing holes in the universe.
***
The Appleloosan Apples’ reply arrived first. They were planning on arriving on the morning train on Tuesday. Applejack and Merry went to meet them at the station. Both of them were somewhat bundled up for the occasion, with scarves and saddles wrapped tightly against the chill. Thankfully, the first snow was scheduled for the week after the barn-raising. As the two waited, Merry spotted something beside the tracks headed towards Appleloosa. She poked Applejack in the leg and pointed at the little moving speck in the distance. “Do you see that?”
Applejack squinted into the distance. “It looks like a runner. Pony Express maybe?”
The two of them watched while the pony galloped closer. He was wearing the light duster and canister saddlebags common to the intrepid ponies of the Pony Express. He approached the station and barged right into the stationmaster’s office without stopping. AJ and Merry looked on, their curiosity thoroughly piqued. After a moment of muffled conversation the stationmaster leapt out of his office, skidding to a halt as he spotted Applejack. He sketched a quick bow, then quickly dashed off to where the porters were lounging around. Bewildered, the two mares watched them promptly scatter and begin setting up a ramp a short distance from the platform.
Within a few minutes of the runner’s arrival, the train from Appleloosa chugged into the station. Braeburn, predictably, was the first to leap off. Running up to his cousin, he dropped into a charming little bow and swept his hat off. “Well How-dee, cuz! You’ve sure grown since last time.”
Applejack smiled and rolled her eyes. “Haha, Braeburn. Go on, get up. How ya been?” She hugged him briefly.
“Just dandy! We had a bumper crop thi–“
Braeburn was interrupted by a booming bass voice coming from an outsized boxcar hitched to the back of the train. “Have we stopped? I am tired of this… pony conveyance. Conductor! Conductor!”
Braeburn grinned sheepishly at AJ as the railponies hurried to open the car. “Ah think Ah oughta mention, Chief Thunderhooves came along. Soon as he heard talk that there was a newly crowned Duchess of the South, he insisted on it.”
At this, Applejack’s eyes went wide as she stared mutely at the boxcar that was being opened. The Chieftain was busy trying to squeeze his enormous frame through the door of the car and onto the ramp that had been placed for him. With a pop and the sound of crunching wood, he was free. He shook himself briefly, sending porters scattering. Behind him, another bison backed out of the car, wearing a beautiful woven cloak and hauling several large baskets. Thunderhooves nodded at her. “Ah, thank you Strongheart. Is that everything?”
“No, father, there are a few baskets left.”
“Leave them. I’m told it’s these… porters’ jobs to move our things.”
Applejack shook herself out of the trance she had fallen into and trotted up to the Chief. Merry, looking on, was shocked to realize that the bison was still at least three or four times the size of Applejack. Applejack bowed low to the Chief. Thunderhooves watched the gesture with shock before hastily bowing his own mighty head. Amused, Merry supposed that a full bow would be impossible for the bison’s girth. Finally, Applejack stood up and spoke. “Ah’m mighty pleased at yer visit, Chief Thunderhooves. To what do Ah owe tha pleasure?”
Thunderhooves smiled, encouraged. “Yes… It has come to my attention that the Mother Sun has placed Your Majesty at the head of the Peoples of the Plains. I and my daughter have come to offer our allegiance and congratulations. I know that we once stood as enemies on the field of battle, but I hope and desire that the friendship that blossomed between our two peoples might continue in harmony and peace in for all time, holding sacred the bonds that tie us all to the life bearing earth; indeed, we are as your children, for who is not connecte–“ Strongheart nudged Thunderhooves. He gave her a sideways glance, then harrumphed. “Yes. I have something which I hope you might accept.” He reached into one of the baskets that Strongheart had brought and pulled out a grand, flowing headdress that rivaled his own.
A brief look of thoughtfulness crossed Applejack’s face before she swept her own hat off and held it out. “Merry?”
Merry quickly flew over and grabbed the hat from the princess. Applejack lowered her head and allowed Chief Thunderhooves to gently place the headdress on her. He grinned hugely when Applejack raised her head and turned about to show it off. She then faced the Chief again. “Ah accept your gift, and the friendship behind it. Ah wish Ah could offer you a place to stay, but Ah’m afraid that’s tha reason Ah invited mah kin here. There’s a hotel in town Ah could put you up in if ya like…”
Thunderhooves shook his head. “There is no need. Unlike you ponies, for us, life is motion. We brought our home with us.” He gestured to a set of poles being unloaded by the porters.
Applejack nodded. “That’s just fine if it suits ya. Now, Strongheart, it’s good ta see ya after all these years. Why, Ah hardly recognize ya. And Ah love yer cloak.”
Strongheart blushed. Her frame was starting to fill in to its adult girth, and she looked strong enough to pull the train single-hoofedly. “Thank you, Princess. I’m glad you like the cloak.”
The Chieftain smirked, “She is embarrassed about her patchy coat. I keep telling her it is completely normal for a growing bison, but she insists–“
Strongheart stuffed a hoof in her father’s mouth, a horrified look on her face. “Father!” With a pained expression, she turned back to Applejack. “It is good to see you, Princess, though I wonder if Rainbow Dash is in town? I’d like to see her again.”
Applejack nodded, her expression starting to drift. “Eeyup. Ah’ll make sure she knows y’all are in town. Uh, Braeburn! Would you mind showin’ these two to tha farm? The rest of y’all can head on up too. Ah’m sure Mac, Granny and Blooms are waitin’ fer ya. Ah got somethin’ Ah got ta do. Please excuse me Chief, Strongheart. Merry, mind comin’ with me?” Applejack trotted a short distance away from the group and rocketed into the air, shooting straight through a rather large cloud above. Merry followed soon after. She found Applejack hunkered down in the folds of the cloud, eyes wide and staring.
Merry discreetly closed the hole in the cloud cover behind her and trotted over to where Applejack was. “What’s up?” she whispered.
“He next best thing ta called me his momma!” she hissed through her teeth.
Merry scratched her head. “Yeah, that’s a little weird. Don’t worry about it. It’s not like it means anything.”
Applejack glared at her seneschal before stuffing her head into a cloudbank. “Go away.”
Merry took a step closer. “Princess?”
From inside her cloud, Applejack mumbled. “Ah said… aw ferget it. Y’all never do what Ah want anyway.”
Merry stomped her hoof indignantly. After she recovered herself from falling halfway through the cloud, she said, “That’s not true, Applejack, and you know it. Apologize!”
“…Fine. Yer a great helper and Ah’m sorry Ah mouthed off at ya…”
Merry nodded primly and walked up to the goddess. “Now, what’s got your tail in a twist?”
“Ah don’t really want ta talk about it. It’s silly an’ worryin’ about it ain’t gonna help none.”
Merry rolled her eyes. “Well, you’re ‘worryin’’ about it now, so maybe talking about it will help.”
“Well…” Applejack pulled her head out of the cloud to look at Merry. Her eyes were hollow, but dry. “Ah’ve always wanted ta be a mom.”
“A mom?” Merry carefully put as little inflection as she could into the question.
“I ain’t as ambitious as most a mah friends. Ah mean, Ah compete in rodeos ‘n’ such, but it ain’t mah whole world like with Rainbow ‘n’ her flyin’. Ah love tha farm, more than anythin’ but Ah ain’t married to it the way Twi and Rares are to their jobs. Pinkie… Ah don’t know if Pinkie or ‘Shy would know what ta do if a stallion started flirtin’ with ‘em. Ah jest… Ah remember mah folks, before they died. Ah remember how happy we were and how beautiful momma was and how strong pa was. Ah’ve always wanted that again. Not fer me, Ah guess, but fer a pretty little foal of mah own.”
Applejack dropped her head into her hooves. “Ah ain’t no baby momma, if that’s what yer thinkin’. Ah always wanted ta do it right, find a good strong stallion, settle down.” Applejack stood up, rearing up to her full height and flaring her wings behind her. “Jest look at me Merry. Ah’m near enough ta tha prettiest mare in tha world now, but ain’t no stallion ever gonna dare get close ta me.”
Merry frowned. “Well, maybe the Chief was right. Everypony is kinda like your child now.”
Applejack sighed. “It ain’t tha same, and you know it Merry. Y’all ain’t mah kids any more than Ah’m Princess Celestia.”
Merry felt hurt in some nameless way by that last comment, but she continued on. “Well, what about Empress Cadence? She’s married.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yeah, but what kinda life are her foals gonna have? Besides. She ain’t tha immortal avatar of tha planet.”
Merry furrowed her brow in thought. “Well, what about Prince Blueblood? He’s always on about his Aunt Celestia in the newsreels. Maybe he really is related to the Princess?”
Applejack’s ears perked. “Maybe… Maybe yer right. Ah know who we could ask.”
***
House was currently sitting with his back to the door of his room, holding it shut against the barbarian horde that had apparently taken over the farm. He’d been studying when he’d heard Big Mac suddenly shout from outside. A rumble of hooves had filled the homestead, along with raucous laughter and horrifically distorted speech that he could barely make head or tail of, though he was pretty sure that he’d heard somepony say something about the most delicious Granny Smith they’d ever baked into a pie.
Desperately, he considered his options. Teleportation and sending were not something he’d ever learned, so going for help was out of the question. He couldn’t really see how to turn his re-inking spell into an effective weapon, unless these barbarians had a lot of faded tattoos or manuscripts. His hooves were stronger than his telekinesis, which wasn’t saying much.
Just as he was about to give up and throw himself at the mercy of the carnivorous invaders, Princess Mara and Dame May burst in through the window. He screamed briefly, but threw himself at the Princess’s hooves as soon as he realized who it was. “Princess! They’ve taken the farm! We have to retreat and rally the army!”
Princess Mara shook him off lightly. “Whut are you talkin’ about? That’s mah kin.”
House stared at her incredulously. “That rabble is your kin!?”
The Princess playfully cuffed him. “Rabble? Watch yerself. They may all be loonier than a fruit basket, but they’re mine. Anyhow, that ain’t why we’re here. We’ve got a question fer ya. Blueblood is Celestia’s nephew, right? Ah wanna know how they’re related.”
House took a moment to switch mental gears. “Blueblood?”
Mara looked at him sideways. “Yes, that’s whut ah said.”
“He’s… Yes and no.”
Dame May spoke up. “That really wasn’t a yes or no question.”
House shook his head. “I mean that they are only sort of related. The record is very clear on the fact that Celestia adopted Blueblood the First. She raised him as her son, but the story goes that she hates being called grandma. Every Blueblood from number two to fifty-two has had the right to refer to Celestia in the informal mode as Aunt Celestia or some variant of that. Interestingly, Celestia predicated that right on the fact that the eldest male descendant of the line must carry that name. It’s one of the few titles in Equestria that are inherited exclusively through the male line.”
The Princess visibly drooped as she heard the explanation. Dame May placed a hoof on her side comfortingly. “Uh, there’s always adoption, right?”
Mara took a deep breath and glanced down at her seneschal with a wan smile. “Well, it ain’t like Ah was plannin’ on havin’ one anytime soon even before…” she trailed off while gesturing to herself.
House got the distinct impression that he should completely push the current conversation out of his mind if he valued his continued existence.
The Princess sighed again and fixed a smile to her face. “No point in mopin’ around like a bunch a weepin’ willows. Ah got some kin that’re gonna get mighty upset if Ah don’t go say howdy.”
***
That evening had been a fairly casual get-together in preparation for the second-largest barn raising in Apple family history. Several more trains and airships arrived throughout the course of the day, filled to bursting with Apples. The night passed with little enough sleep, as sleeping bags spread out across every flat surface in the farm in a sort of massive slumber party. Applejack found herself drifting from group to group, retelling her little adventures of the past month to an enthusiastic audience. Half Baked had bust up laughing when she admitted to just how many bowls of fried apples she had eaten after she had ran from the marketplace.
“Haha! That’s our Applejack! Ya may keep gettin’ bigger, but yer appetite never changes.” That had ignited a massive chorus of laughter which prompted Applejack to bury her face in her hat.
Thunderhooves and Strongheart had mingled freely with the Apples. The burly Chief even let groups of foals take rides on his broad back to their great delight. Merry had been unsure of herself, but she’d been cornered by Apple Strudel who had insisted she dance with him while Fiddlesticks played a reel. He’d promptly spun her off into the arms of a rather surprised Meadow Song. A large group of dancers immediately joined the rather embarrassed mare and stallion on the floor as he showed her how to do the steps. House, meanwhile, shut himself emphatically in his room, absolutely refusing to come out.
***
The next day dawned on a very groggy gaggle of ponies. Even though most of them were naturally early risers, they all had a bit of trouble getting going after the night previous. Still, despite taking time to build up steam, the Apples were incredibly efficient once they got going. By noon, most of the groundwork had already been laid for the four massive barns that were going up where the old cornfield was. They were laid out in the four directions of the compass around a large central yard.
The east barn was the first one ready for the walls to be raised. The short sides went up without any trouble, but there was a bit of confusion as the long sides were about to be raised. Without being quite sure how it had happened, Big Mac found himself trying to hold the rope supporting the north side all alone. He was almost managing it, but the angle kept threatening to pull his hooves off of the ground, and it didn’t really matter how strong a pony was if they didn’t have traction.
As he was struggling, somepony came up behind him and said, “Goodness, that looks heavy. Would you like me to take that for you, Mac?” Big Mac’s brow furrowed. He didn’t quite recognize the mare’s voice.
Through gritted teeth, Mac grunted out, “Nnope. Too heavy.” It really went without saying. There was nopony alive who could hope to pull a weight that Big Mac himself struggled with, so it was a deep shock for him to see an ivory white muzzle clamp down on the rope ahead of him while the line went slack.
“I’m sure I can manage, Prince Mac,” said Celestia.
Applejack was busy listening to Fritter and Caramel argue about joists when her ears pricked involuntarily. As she looked to the east, her first thought was, Mah stars! We left Big Mac hangin’! Her second thought was, Celestia.
The elder goddess was just standing there, bold as brass, while Mac was struggling with the wall. Applejack was just about to call out to her when she leaned in and took the rope from Big Mac. AJ rolled her eyes and trotted toward the pair.
Celestia had pulled the wall upright and was biting the rope and grimacing as if unsure what happened next. Turning to Big Mac, she asked, “Sho, what do I do now? Lasht time I did anything like thish, nails were a rare luxury.”
“What both y’all shoulda done is call fer help! Fritter! Git yer lazy flank over here an’ tack this wall up!” said Applejack, as she set boards up to prop the wall in place. When she got no response, she looked back to where the rest of the family was waiting. They were all frozen in various states of shock and reverence.
Thinking furiously, Applejack turned back to Celestia and, in a theatrically loud voice, asked, “So what brings ya here, Princess?” .
Celestia stepped on the rope and replied, projecting her voice without seeming to try, “Was this not a family gathering? As your adoptive sister, I could do no less than come and help. Besides, it is an opportunity to come and meet your wonderful family.”
Apple Bloom, emboldened by repeated exposure to alicorns, trotted up to Celestia. “Well, shoot! It’ll be great ta have yer help. Why, Ah bet with yer help an’ mah sister, y’all could get these barns up in a jiffy!” She held out a hoof. The entire Apple family sucked in a collective breath. Celestia smiled and gave Apple Bloom a small hoofbump. When nothing exploded or burst into flames, the rest of the family began to visibly relax. Apple Bloom waved her cousin Babs over. “Hay, Babs! Come on an’ meet tha Princess!”
The miniature Manehattenite meandered over and sat down beside Apple Bloom. “H-hi, Princess.” She blew her mane out of her eyes. “It’s good ta meetcha. Youse can call me Babs.”
Celestia nodded regally at the foals. “It is my pleasure, Miss Babs. Perhaps if we can get this wall finished, you two can introduce me to the rest of your family?”
Babs nodded amiably. “Sho-thing Princess. I’ll go get Frittah.”
Fritter, with much reluctance, finally started nailing the wall in place with Caramel’s help. Princess Celestia watched them with interest while the rest of the family watched her. As Caramel was about to nail in a joist hanger, she held up her hoof. “I think I see the way of it. May I give it a go?”
Caramel spat out his hammer and offered it to the princess. “Uh, yeah. Go ahead.”
Celestia reared up, easily putting her on a level with Caramel on his ladder. She took the hammer in her teeth and began nailing in the hanger. After a moment, she stood back with an immensely satisfied expression on her face. She looked over at Fritter, who had been busy on the other end of the wall. “What do you think of this one, Fritter?”
Fritter looked up from what she had been doing. “Yes’m. Caramel! This is terrible! Ah told ya if ya do it that way, the whole thing’s gonna collapse in a stiff breeze. Even tha Princess can see it. Thanks fer havin’ me check his work, yer highness.”
The whole family, Applejack included, sucked in a collective gasp. Celestia blushed. “Ah, yes, that... That was my mouthwork.”
Fritter paled dramatically. Her hammer dropped from her now limp hooves as she tried to process what she had just told the Sun Goddess. Thankfully, at that moment, Pinkie and the Cakes pulled into earshot with lunch.
Pinkie bounced away from the cart she had been pulling. Celestia trotted to meet her, grateful for the distraction.
"Hi Celestia! We brought lunch for everypony. I didn't know you'd be here or I would have brought more cake. Well, I actually brought several hundred pounds of Cakes, but you can't eat that kind," said Pinkie. Cup Cake rolled her eyes.
Celestia smiled at Pinkie. "Thank you, I’m sure what you are serving will be fine.”
Pinkie nodded once and started taking things off of the catering carts. In no time at all, she and the Cakes had set up a sumptuous picnic for the Apple family across a multitude of colorful blankets. Pinkie jumped back when she had finished. “Dig in, everypony!” Nopony made a move. Pinkie looked around confused. The Apples were giving sidelong glances towards Celestia, while Celestia was looking uncertainly at the picnic blanket. Pinkie caught Applejack’s eye and gave her a questioning look.
Applejack frowned briefly then trotted over to where Granny Smith had been ‘supervising’ construction from her rocking chair. Applejack gently nudged Granny with a hoof. “Hay, Gran, time ta get up. It’s lunch.”
“Hwaa? Wuzzat dear?” said Granny as she shook herself awake.
“Lunch is on, and we got a guest.”
“Oh, right. Jest point me to the grub,” said Granny Smith. Applejack led her to the blanket spread and sat her down next to Celestia. Granny glanced up at Celestia and did a double take. “Mah stars! Princess!” She bowed low to the goddess. “It’s an honor ta see ya agin. Say, do you know where tha rest of mah lazy kin are? Food’s gettin’ cold.”
Celestia nodded at Granny and said, “I do believe that they are on their way right now.”
Half-Baked was closest by this point, but the rest of the family was tentatively following him. Granny Smith locked eyes on him a waved a hoof at Celestia. “Did Ah ever tell ya tha story of how yer grand-pappy kissed tha princess?”
Half-Baked stopped short. “What?”
Celestia nodded solemnly at him, though her eyes twinkled slightly. “Yes, and you should be proud to know that he was a very good kisser.”
Half-Baked sat down hard on his haunches, utterly speechless. Celestia and Granny Smith shared a complex, wordless glance for a few moments and burst out laughing together. Celestia’s laugh was like the peal of silver bells, and soon the entire family succumbed to its charm and laughed along. Within a few minutes the entire family, plus Pinkie, was seated on the blankets while Mr and Mrs Cake dished out the food. Granny Smith smiled up at Celestia, “Yer tha guest, would ya like ta say grace?”
Celestia’s eyes seemed to unfocus a bit at the request. “Yes. I would be honored.” She sat back and spread her arms and wings wide. The assembled ponies bowed their heads. “We gather at this meal as friends and family. Let our hearts be filled with love and gratitude for this repast and for one another’s sacred trust. May we have joy in this meal and find the strength therein to continue to lift and bless our brothers and sisters and may Harmony’s light forever shine upon and guide the Princesses and us all. Amare.”
A chorus of ‘Amare’ rumbled through the group. Most of them immediately dug into the wonderful lunch, but Applejack hesitated a moment. Celestia was busy chatting and laughing with Granny Smith as they reminisced about days long gone. AJ smiled gently, however, she was soon distracted by Pinkie waving an experimental cupcake under her nose.
“Hay! Try this! I call it my Thistledown-Cupcake-Extreme-Equestrian-Fusion-Cupcake. Matilda showed me how donkeys take the prickles out of thistles.”
“Uh, how’s that Pinkie?”
“By having really tough gums!”
***
By the time three of the barns had been raised, Merry was completely exhausted. She had been in the thick of things and very much in demand for ferrying ponies to and from high and hard to reach places, as well as spending a fair amount of time working in such places herself. With two alicorns and a pair of bison helping as well, the barn raising party was making record time.
As they were making preparations to raise the final barn, Applejack caught Merry’s eyes and nodded her over to one side. Merry followed dutifully as Applejack led her a short distance away from the main group. Applejack pointed to the old farmhouse and said, “You should get yerself cleaned up. There’ll be somepony waitin’ fer ya at tha house when yer done. Be quick now, ya don’t want ta be late.”
Merry nodded, “Ok, who is it?”
Applejack grinned, “Nnope, ain’t gonna tell ya, it’s a secret. Yer gonna love whut they have fer ya though.”
Merry arched an eyebrow at Applejack, but she hurried over to the old barn anyway. As she entered she looked around. The house was empty, but Applejack had said she needed to get cleaned up first. She worked her way up to the Apple’s bathroom and hopped into the shower. She scrubbed herself down as quickly as she could and dried herself using her wings and a touch of pegasus magic. She had a comb strapped to her hoof and was working on taming her hair when there was a knock at the front door. Merry stumbled downstairs as she continued combing and opened the door. Standing on the stoop was one of Applejack’s friends, the pony from the boutique.
“Good, you’ve already started, we have a lot of work to do darling, and not much time to do it in,” she said.
Merry squinted at the guest. “Work? Also, I’m sorry, what was your name again?”
“Rarity. Rarity Belle, and I am going to make you fabulous.” Rarity trotted in, followed by numerous bags and boxes. Merry watched in fascination as she unpacked what seemed to be an entire salon in the Apples’ front parlor. Rarity turned to face her. “Now, let me see about that hair.”
***
By the time Rarity was finished, Merry was left entirely unsure whether she had enjoyed or been terrified by the experience of a Rarity makeover. She certainly couldn’t argue with the results. Her coat was shining and her hair was carefully done up, with a pair of silky curls falling in front of each ear. Rarity stepped back and examined her from every angle. The fashionista smirked. “Yet another triumph, I should say. Now to top it off.” A pair of bags drifted out of the pile, wrapped in a pale blue aura. Rarity carefully opened them and pulled out Merry’s uniform.
First on was a light beige tunic that fit loosely and comfortably, leaving Merry plenty of room to breathe. As Rarity made a few final adjustments, she described the shirt. “I know that this must be a practical garment first. From what Applejack has told me, you and your comrades will be doing a lot of running about, so you need a layer with room to run. It’s loose, and made of very light cotton, so it should keep you cool, even in very hot climates. Now, that doesn’t mean we should sacrifice looks for utility. That’s why you’ll also be wearing this.” Next out of the bag was a rich desert-orange, double breasted dress-jacket. This article was much more tight fitting, and ever so slightly stiff, though not enough to chafe. “This is for warmth and intimidation. A pony of your station needs to be imposing enough to make herself heard.” Rarity summoned Merry’s turban and a length of faded maroon cloth. “And finally, we tie the whole ensemble together with this cravat and your lovely chapeau. Voila!”
Merry preened slightly under Rarity’s obviously practiced eye. “Is there a mirror in that pile of supplies by any chance?” Rarity smiled and pulled out a large mirror, much to Merry’s surprise. As she looked into the mirror, she almost didn’t recognize herself. The outfit made her look exotic and commanding, the sort of pony you didn't cross lightly. She was reminded of a villain in a Daring-Doo novel. "This is incredible, Rarity!"
It was Rarity’s turn to preen at the compliment. “It’s nothing, darling. Now, shoo, Applejack intends to knight you this evening. The barn-raising should be nearly done. I’ll be along in a moment.”
“Ohmygosh! Thank you Rarity!” Merry cantered out the door double-time, attempting to be both posh and quick.
***
The Apples were all gathered in the center of the four barns, watching Applejack as she mounted the last door on the south barn. Merry thought she saw a couple of ponies from town in the group as well. Some of them she recognized as friends of Applejack, but there were others there too. She shrugged, party crashers weren’t really a big deal.
Applejack leveled the last hinge, gave it an experimental swing, and slammed the door shut. “Ah now declare tha Harvest Palace open fer business!” The crowd gave a massive cheer while hats and kerchiefs were tossed willy-nilly. Applejack trotted into a clear area in the central courtyard. “Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Pinkie... Rarity? Where’s Rarity?”
Rarity trotted in at a decent clip from the direction of the farmhouse. “Coming!”
“Ah’d like y’all by mah side fer this, if ya don’t mind,” said Applejack. Her friends trotted proudly up to her and arrayed themselves beside her. Applejack took a moment to glance around. Celestia sat in the crowd, looking on with intense interest. Her relatives were all smiling and whispering to each other, even a few ponies from town had come over to see what the fuss was about and maybe nab a free cupcake or two. The direction her life had taken was certainly strange, and not something she would have chosen for herself, but it wasn’t bad either. She took a deep breath. She affected a Manehatten accent for her declaration, it seemed more appropriate to the occasion. “I now declare the inaugural session of the Earthen Court open. Our first item of business will be to recognize somepony who has been of immense help to the crown.”
Somepony in the audience took that moment to start muscling their way to the front of the crowd. Merry found her eyes drawn to him instinctively.
Applejack continued, “Indeed, she has selflessly worked to ensure my—”
At that moment, the pony who had been moving forward broke from the crowd and started running across the open space towards the Princess. Merry immediately leapt into the air and dived on him at the same time as Meadow Song and Rainbow Dash both jumped on the intruder. The four of them collided in a rolling pile, coming to a halt right at Applejack’s hooves.
“...Safety. What in tarnation is goin’ on?”
The runner squirmed out from underneath the pony-pile. Merry recognized him as the Hay Board official she had stopped from seeing Twilight Sparkle last week. “Your majesty, I am Tall Poppy. I submit to you that this pony is unfit for service.”
Applejack looked at him sideways. “Pardon?”
Tall Poppy bowed low. “Yes Princess, the pony known as Merry May is unfit for duty and must not receive your commendation.”
Applejack glanced over to Celestia. She shook her head. “This is your court, Mara, and your ruling to make. I will support any decision you make.”
Applejack lowered her head until she was eye to eye with Poppy. “Ah’m gonna hear you out, but you’d better have a darn good reason ta interrupt me.”
Poppy wilted slightly under the fierce gaze of the goddess. Behind him, Merry, Meadow and Rainbow were dusting themselves off. The color of Merry’s uniform hid the dirt well. Merry made a mental note to thank Rarity again after all this was over. Poppy nosed around in his saddlebags and pulled out a scroll. He set it on the ground in front of himself before continuing. “Yes, ahem, this pony, who has long been rumored to be a favorite of yours—”
Applejack frowned at him. “Ah ain’t even been an alicorn fer more than a month.”
“Uh, yes, and for much of that time it has been the common scuttlebutt that you intend to knight this ruffian behind me.” Poppy glanced back to make sure Merry was still there. “She is a common criminal!”
Applejack sat back on her haunches. “Ah see. Those are mighty strong words. What crimes?”
“She incited a parade without a permit, admittedly a mere misdemeanor, but she is also guilty of a far more serious crime, dereliction of duty while on weather patrol, a felony.”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes and trotted up to Poppy. “Seriously? That’s only a crime in the case of a natural disaster that threatens lives or property. Trust me. I know all about pegasus conscription laws. As I remember it, the most serious weather we had those weeks was a bank of cirrus drifting in from the Everfree. It would have made it slightly... shady.” She flailed her hooves to emphasise what a world-ending disaster that would have been. “Seriously, guy, all that happened was she got fired.”
Poppy grinned at Rainbow Dash. “Exactly! She’s irresponsible. Somepony like her shouldn’t be allowed to hold office. And furthermore...” Poppy kicked open the scroll in front of him. “She’s unqualified. I did a little research. Even an entry level position in the Royal Guard requires at least a two year degree, two further years of military academy, a year of active duty in any of the armed forces and, for pegasi, certification in advanced flight combat.”
Applejack frowned and pulled the scroll towards her with her magic. It barely wavered in her grip. Twilight’s training was starting to pay off. As AJ was reading, Celestia coughed gently. Applejack glanced at her questioningly.
“If I may, those are the qualifications of the Solar Guard. Technically, there never has been an official body titled the Royal Guard, there was simply never a need to distinguish the difference until recently. You may be interested to note that Luna selects members of her Night Watch via battle royal, while her guard captain must be able to hold her off for more than sixty seconds in the ring.”
Poppy’s eyes darted back and forth between the princesses. “I, um, well, that’s still a qualification process. What has this ragamuffin done to deserve the post?”
Applejack gave Poppy a long hard stare. Her gaze shifted to Merry. “How about we let her speak fer herself. Merry? Why do you deserve this position?”
Merry’s eyes widened. She looked behind herself at the audience. Most of them were smiling supportively. She took a deep breath and began. “I... I have earned this post by being dedicated enough... By showing willingness to serve Princess Mara in spite of all personal cost, by aiding her in her time of need, and... and by taking time to understand the pony behind the peytral. I’ve suffered thirst, hunger and exhaustion for her, and I’ve rallied ponies and non-ponies both to her aid. I’m already her servant, the title is just a formality.”
Applejack grinned as the audience cheered and clomped for Merry. Applejack held up a hoof for silence, then pointed towards town. Once again slipping into a sophisticated accent, she said, “Tall Poppy, you are not welcome here. Leave and only come back once you’ve learned some humility.” Applejack turned her back on him as he slunk off of the field. “Now, Merry May, I have found you worthy of the rank of knight and captain of the Frontier Company Rangers, and do put you under oath. Repeat after me: As a ranger, I swear to Remember that I work to defend every living creature and must fight oppression from every side.”
Merry stood to attention and began repeating the words that she, Big Mac and Applejack had worked out over the past week. “As a ranger, I swear to Remember that I work to defend every living creature and must fight oppression from every side.”
“Always shall I act in Harmony with nature and the dignity of my calling.”
“Always shall I act in Harmony with nature and the dignity of my calling,” said Merry, speaking loudly so that everypony present could hear the conviction in her voice.
“No challenge shall find me wanting, for I shall keep myself mentally alert, physically strong, and morally straight, and all who look to me shall find a worthy example.”
“No challenge shall find me wanting, for I shall keep myself mentally alert, physically strong, and morally straight, and all who look to me shall find a worthy example.” Merry’s eyes twinkled and her back straightened ever so slightly as she recited. She would let nothing stand in the way of her oath.
“Gladly will I shoulder burdens that would bear down ponies less resolute than I.”
“Gladly will I shoulder burdens that would bear down ponies less resolute than I.” Even though they were just words, speaking them like this, in front of dozens of witnesses and a pair of princesses made her feel invincible, as if she could take on the world.
“Eagerly will I defend my charges, with my life if necessary, though peace is my highest goal.”
“Eagerly will I defend my charges, with my life if necessary, though peace is my highest goal.” Merry had written this part herself, though a tiny part of herself wondered if she would really be able to lay down her life if called upon. She hoped so.
“Realizing that I take these responsibilities upon myself willingly, and with no hesitation, I shall strive to give my utmost measure of devotion to the cause of Equestria and of Harmony. So help me Mara.”
“Realizing that I take these responsibilities upon myself willingly, and with no hesitation, I shall strive to give my utmost measure of devotion to the cause of Equestria and of Harmony in general. So help me Mara.”
As Merry finished, the princess reached into a little box tucked nearby and pulled out a badge with the wheel and leaf of Mara’s cutie mark. Princess Mara carefully pinned it to the front of Merry’s turban and saluted. Merry saluted back, a massive grin on her face. The crowd gave another cheer before devolving into a mad dash for the refreshment table.
Celestia wandered over to where Applejack and Merry were still standing. “I should warn you, I've left Luna in charge in Canterlot, but work is bound to follow me. A couple of plaincoat guards have already found me, so it's only a matter of time before others do. I also invited a few ministers to come meet with you. I hope you don't mind?”
“How many’s a few?” said Applejack.
“Just three. Agriculture, The Geological Survey, and the Treasury. I believe that you should know enough to speak on the same level with the minister of Agriculture. The other two are directly related to what seems to be your domain. I would suggest you listen carefully to their advice. Now, if you don't mind, I do believe that a plate of fritters is calling my name.” Celestia drifted regally towards the food tables, leaving Merry and Applejack alone.
Applejack glanced around and nudged Merry, grinning wickedly. "So, ya given any thought ta hirin'? Ah know Meadow's lookin' fer work, and Ah hear he's a good dancer too..."
Merry blushed and frowned at Applejack. "I really don't think that's an appropriate way to pick guards... And, hay, what was that thing you did with your accent during the oath?"
"Well, Ah spent some time in Manehatten when Ah was a filly. It seemed appropriate."
Merry lightly punched Applejack in the shoulder, grimacing in mild irritation. "You said I had to be country!"
All too soon, the celebration wound down. When she thought Applejack wasn’t looking, Merry approached Meadow about a job offer with the Rangers. “I saw how quick you were to jump on that no-good Poppy guy. I think anypony that quick on his hooves might be good for the Company.”
Meadow gave Merry a long look before replying. “Well, I’m not really the sort to settle in one town for very long. Guard duty ain’t my game.”
Merry shook her head. “No, that’s not what we’re about. I want us to be travelers. We’re gonna go around, fixing things, not sitting around waiting for stuff to happen. I think it might be right up your alley.”
Meadow squinted at Merry appraisingly. “Alright, I might stick in town for a few days. You can try and convince me.”
Merry grinned. “Sweet. I’m sure I can bring you around.”
***
As Merry and Meadow bumped hooves, the rest of the Apples were busy giving their farewells. Chief Thunderhooves approached Applejack. AJ looked him in the eye, grateful that she didn’t have to crook her neck as far as usual to do so. The mighty chieftain bowed his head low at her for quite a while before saying anything. “Forgive me…”
Applejack reared a little, “Why!? Ah mean, sure, but why do ya need it?”
Thunderhooves shook his head. “They call you Princess of the Ponies… No… You goddesses come down, take the form of the smallest and gentlest of the peoples. The dragons, the dogs, the minotaurs, the bison, the donkeys, all of them scorn your people, yet you stride over the world and move it at your will. I am left with nothing but prayer to defend my people, so I pray to you. Applejack, Mara, Mother Earth, remember that our land is sacred to us, that our very lives are bound to it... as it is bound to you.”
Applejack nodded. It was a sober moment, and one that she was not well equipped for. After a short pause, she said, “Ah will remember ‘n’ protect your people.”
The burly chief smiled warmly and bowed to her. “Many thanks. We of the plains are yours. I pray you will visit us from time to time. Farewell,” and with that, he tromped off to find his daughter.
The last of the raising party left with the overnight train to Appleloosa. Applejack found herself on the station platform with her grandmother, siblings, and seneschal, waving goodbye to the departing train. A tiny hollow gnawed at the pit of her stomach as she watched them disappear. She felt that things were going to get harder from here on out. She also couldn’t shake the feeling that something deep below the surface was off with Celestia. She sighed and turned back towards town.
When she arrived back at the farm, she trudged up to the old farmhouse and climbed up to her too-small bed for the night.
***
The next morning, Merry was puttering around the new barns, picking out an office for herself. Celestia had settled into the east barn the previous night, conjuring a bed from the palace for herself. As Merry glanced out one of the windows, she spotted Celestia sitting in the nearby yard doing what looked like very slow and deliberate yoga. Feeling slightly self-conscious, she examined the goddess as she exercised. Celestia was, if anything, even more breathtaking than the other two princesses. However, as she watched, Merry didn’t get the same subtle feeling of serenity that she did whenever she was around Princess Mara. After a while, Merry shrugged and was about to turn away when she spotted Twilight Sparkle out of the corner of her eye.
Twilight hesitated before approaching Celestia, but she seemed to gather her nerve quickly. Before she reached Celestia, the princess turned to see her. Merry crouched low in the window, though she could faintly hear everything going on below.
“P-princess?”
“Yes, Twilight?”
“I’m glad you’re staying near Ponyville for a while...”
“Yes, it’s a nice change from Canterlot. Was there something that you wanted to talk to me about?”
There was a moment of silence. Merry was crouched completely below the sill, but she still felt like the worst kind of trespasser.
“I—I was curious if you wanted me to deliver my reports in-person since, well, I’m right here and all, and it’s not like it’s a long walk.”
“You never delivered your reports personally when you lived in Canterlot. Is this about something else perhaps?” When Twilight didn’t answer, Celestia continued, “Are you maybe wondering why I would need a faithful student if I am already busy teaching Applejack?” Another silence. “Come here... I will always care about you. There is no pony anywhere who could replace you, Twilight.”
The only answer for a long time was the tiny, hiccuping sobs of Twilight Sparkle. Tears also pricked the corners of Merry’s eyes, urged on by equal measures of compassion and shame. After what seemed like an eternity, Twilight’s weeping stopped as she spoke again with a trembling voice. “I’m not stupid you know...”
Celestia’s voice finally betrayed real shock, “Whyever would you even think I thought that about you!?”
“You... You were training me for something, weren’t you? I never really thought about it seriously, I mean, it was ridiculous, just a silly fantasy. But now, I guess I can see that I really have failed the only test that matters....”
“Twilight Sparkle! You. Have. Not. Failed me. Look at me. Look... Sparkle!” There was the sound of galloping, then a faint whipcrack. Merry continued waiting silently.
After what seemed like a sufficient time had passed, she peeked over the sill. Staring directly back at her from across the yard was Princess Celestia. The goddess’s face looked carved out of solid marble, and her eyes burned like twin furnaces. Merry backpedaled frantically, dashing for a window on the opposite side of the building to leap out of. She sped home at top speed, skipping her front door and slipping inside her room by the upstairs window. She spent the rest of the morning under her blanket with the curtains closed against the sun.
***
Applejack showed up at Twilight’s library a little after noon for her regular practice. She raised a hoof to knock on the door, but Twilight opened it before she could. Twilight’s eyes were red and puffy as if she had just been crying, but she was also forcing a broad smile. Applejack was nearly speechless, she’d only seen her friend like this a couple of times. “Sugar, what’s wrong? You look like a pit to Tartarus opened in yer living room, sucked ya up and spat ya back out.”
Twilight’s mouth stayed fixed in its rictus as she answered, “Nothing. I don’t really want to talk about it. Let’s get to work.”
“Twilight... You know that you can talk ta me, right?”
“I know, you’re always there for me... If I have anything to talk about, I’ll let you know. Now let’s get to work.” Twilight turned around quickly and started heading for the tattered scroll that sat in the center of the room.
“Twi, if it’s me you can’t talk to, please, go tell one of tha girls. Ah just don’t want ta see ya like this.”
Twilight examined the scroll for a moment and made a mark on another scroll nearby. She continued as if she hadn’t heard Applejack at all. “So, I think we can expand the parameters if we just adjust this element here. It’ll take even more power, but not more than you and I can handle. Say, you never told me why you wanted this spell in the first place. You know that when I used it, it didn’t really fix anything.”
Defeated, Applejack sighed and followed Twilight into the library. “Eeyup, Ah’m not tryin’ ta fix anything. Ah jest need somepony ta see somethin’.”
***
That evening, Applejack and Merry were setting up some furniture in a large room that was to be the center of the new Earthly Court. From outside, they heard a group of ponies chatting vigorously with each other, while Celestia’s distinctive alto occasionally interjected. Applejack poked her head out the door to see Celestia and three others wandering in the general direction of the barn.
Celestia spotted Applejack and motioned her over with a nod of her head. AJ trotted up to the group slowly, followed by Merry, not sure what was going on. The three ponies that were chattering at and around Celestia paid Applejack no mind until she was practically on top of them. Celestia coughed lightly to interrupt a particularly drab pony who was outlining all the reasons why expanding farmland grants was a terrible idea. “Ahem, thank you Greygorie. Ponies, this is Princess Mara, to whom you will now report. She is a highly skilled farmer and has helped run her family’s business since she was barely old enough to see over a counter. Princess, these three are those ministers I warned you about earlier.” Celestia paused to glance about herself. “Why don’t you all introduce yourselves and what you do?”
The dark grey pony who had been speaking last bowed deeply at Applejack. His voice was low, slow, and throaty. “I’m Greygorie Chip, minister of the Geological Survey, but you can call me Grey. I see to it that ponies can enjoy the wealth of the earth. I was born in the Foal Mountains, and there’s none else that knows more about the bones of the earth than me. Nought much else to say about meself.”
Applejack nodded at him. “Nice ta meetcha, Ah’m sure. Say, Ah got a friend that grew up around those parts. You ever knew a Pinkamena Pie?”
Greygorie frowned a moment, then shook his head. “No, can’t say as I have, Princess.”
Applejack shrugged and glanced over at the light green unicorn who was standing on the other side of Celestia. The unicorn bobbed her head respectfully at AJ, saying, “My name is Mint Condition; I am head of the treasury.” When Applejack continued looking at her, expecting more, she simply stepped back into Celestia’s shadow, glancing over at the minister of agriculture.
The minister of agriculture, a chubby, yellow stallion with a shock of maroon mane, rolled his eyes and stepped forward. “I’m—”
Applejack raised a hoof to stop him. “Ah already know yer name. It’s Golden Hills. Yer tha minister of agriculture, and Golden Harvest’s pa. Am Ah right?”
Hills nodded. “Guilty as charged. My daughter has… mentioned you a time or two. I understand that you two are sometimes friendly rivals in the marketplace.”
Applejack held back a grimace. She wouldn’t necessarily use the term friendly to describe her and Harvest’s relationship. “Right. Anyhow, what can Ah do fer y’all?”
Golden glanced at the others. Celestia had retreated slightly, looking on with the faintest hint of apprehension around her eyes. Greygorie shrugged. Golden rolled his eyes at him and turned back to Applejack. “Princess Mara, perhaps you could show us what you can do for us? I don’t think any of us has any idea of the scope of your power.”
Applejack frowned, “Like what? Ah’m not too sure what all Ah can do mahself.”
Greygorie raised a hoof. “Well, what about digging? I know there’s a fairly sizable gemfield not too far from town.” Mint blanched at the suggestion.
Hills shot Grey an irritated glance. “I was thinking that, since the Princess is first and foremost a mare of the soil, she might try blessing somepony’s crops… Perhaps somepony she’s had a feud with in the past? As a measure of goodwill, of course.”
Applejack gave Golden Hills a long look. “Ah see… What’re ya gettin’... At…” She gazed suspiciously at the minister for a moment. “Oh! Goldengrape! Ah fergot all about him.” Applejack gave Hills a smirk. “Alright. Ah’m gonna do jest that. Good idea, Hilly. Follow me. Ah’m gonna go help out a pony who needs it. Merry! C’mon, the chairs can wait.” AJ turned around, heading towards the foothills, towards Goldengrape’s vinyard.
The group of ministers followed with various amounts of hesitation. Golden Hills sat on his haunches glaring until Merry nudged him from behind. As they got going, Merry bounced into the air and took a position flying a few yards above and in front of Applejack.
Celestia watched them go, biting her lip. Finally, she shook her head and turned away towards her quarters.
***
Goldengrape’s vinyard was nowhere near as old as Sweet Apple Acres. Its sprawling, modern farmhouse was set low in the side of the hills between Whitetail Woods and the Everfree. Merry swept ahead of Applejack’s delegation. As she glanced over his fields, she saw the carefully covered and protected rows of grapevines. Among the rows of little hills of protective dirt, some kind of black, thorny vine was springing up everywhere in a chaotic tangle.
Merry banked hard and landed with an authoritative thud on Goldengrape’s front porch. There was an answering crash from inside. After some stumbling and hurried hoofsteps, Goldengrape poked his head out the door. “Hello? Oh gosh. What do you want?”
Merry smirked at him. “Princess Mara approaches. I suggest you keep your distance while she looks at your crops.”
Goldengrape paled visibly. “I… I can’t. I’ll - I’ll get one of the farmhooves to show her around.” Goldengrape pulled away from the door for a second, before peeking out again at Merry. “Please, don’t let her see me… And, if she cares, tell her thanks. This is my livelihood.”
Merry nodded slowly. “I’ll tell her, now go grab whoever’s gonna show her around.”
***
Big Mac was sitting in his room in the old farmhouse, working on yield projections and weather proposals for next year. The plot that AJ had spontaneously cleared and planted a month back would need very delicate care if more than half of the saplings were going to last the winter, magic or no. On the other hoof, if AJ continued to give them little nudges like she had, they might give a good crop by the next harvest.
He was interrupted by a knock on his doorframe. Apple Bloom was standing in it with an excited look on her face. Big Mac set down his pencil and nodded her in.
“Hay big brother, there’s somepony at the door askin’ fer ya. He’s all dandied up in a jacket an’ everthin’. Said he wanted to talk ta ‘Prince McIntosh’”
Big Mac looked back at his sister incredulously. “What?”
“It’s true. Cross mah heart. You gonna meet him?”
Big Mac shrugged. “Eeyup.” He trudged downstairs, wondering who in Equestria it was. The top half of the barn door was already hanging open the way Apple Bloom had left it. The face on the other side of it was one that Big Mac recognized from tabloids and newspapers. It was Prince Blueblood.
The prince was waiting, nose in the air, eyes closed, the very picture of affected dignity. There were two very bored-looking royal guardsponies standing at his flanks. One of them nudged the prince as Big Mac approached. Blueblood blinked and looked over at Big Mac. “Ah, peasant, I talked to your daughter a moment ago. She claimed to know where I might find this so-called Prince McIntosh. Would you please direct me to his mansion? I’m told this is his estate. I must grudgingly confess, it is quite a large holding.”
Big Mac gave the prince a flat look and turned away. “Nnope. And she’s mah sister.”
Blueblood stomped impetuously. “Excuse me, peasant. I wasn’t done with you. How dare you turn away from me! Don’t you know that I am the closest living kin to Celestia herself?!”
Big Mac stopped short. Apple Bloom peeked out from where she had been eavesdropping. “Yeah? Well he’s tha brother of Princess Mara. He’s got, like, twice the royal blood ya got!” Big Mac smiled at his sister.
Blueblood sputtered and then laughed. “Hah! You are ‘Prince McIntosh’? And I suppose you, little one, are a Princess? Are you hiding a horn under that mop of a mane?”
Big Mac turned back towards Blueblood. He strode slowly up to the door and butted heads with the prince. Blueblood was truly massive for a unicorn, and could match Big Mac eye to eye, but Macintosh was a knot of solid muscle. He leaned into the prince ever so slightly. “Ah’m Macintosh. That’s mah sister Apple Bloom. Y’all can excuse yerself now.”
Blueblood leaned back, obviously straining. “I will not. I was on vacation in Las Pegasus, and what happens but they decide, in my absence, to elevate a family of imposters to the royal household. The first I heard of it was the sky-chariot sent by my illustrious aunt... and... the other one. I intend to prove that there is only one royal prince in Equestria. I challenge you to a duel. Standard rules, four rounds. If you manage to beat me at two of them, then you may walk away with your dignity intact, though I doubt you’ll do that well. I’ll even let you select the first challenge. I’ll await your reply at the hotel in town.” He shoved hard, then backed off.
Big Mac rolled his eyes. “Nnope.”
Blueblood chuckled as he turned to leave. “We’ll see. I'm glad I managed to skip out on your 'coronation'. What an embarrassment.”
Apple Bloom scampered up to her brother’s side, watching Blueblood retreat with his guards. When she thought he was out of earshot, she looked up at Big Mac. “Y’all are gonna fight him, right?”
Big Mac shook his head and smirked at his littlest sister. “Nnope.”
“Aw, come-on!”
***
Applejack squinted at the black vines that were slowly creeping up among the grapes. They were simple thorns, similar to the ones she had raised into a dome over Sweet Apple Acres before her fight with Luna. However, the color was bizarre. She looked at the farmhoof that was showing her the fields. “So, Spitter was it? Tell me again where yer boss is?”
“He’s away visiting family.” A subtle glance at Merry, who was standing behind Spitter and shaking her head emphatically, confirmed that for the lie that it was.
“Alright. Well, Ah know y’all grow mostly Muscat grapes. What cultivar’s this row? Blanc?”
“Close, Frontignan. These are some of our most prized varieties.” said Spitter.
“Right, this look like anythin’ ya ever seen, Hills? Is it a magical disease we’re lookin’ at?”
Golden Hills, frustration put aside in favor of professional interest, nudged one of the vines. “Nothing I’ve ever seen. How fast did you say they were growing, Miss Spitter?”
“About an inch a day. It’s impossible to keep up with the weeding. We finish a row, and they’re already starting to poke back up at the other end. I have no idea how they’re getting this much vigor when it’s this cold out. The grapes don’t stand a chance if this keeps up until spring.”
Applejack set her jaw. “Well, Ah can’t stand by and watch this happen. Everypony stand back. Outta tha field, actually.”
As the rest of her entourage scampered out of range, Applejack closed her eyes and listened.
She felt the acres of grapevines around her, pruned and resting for the winter. She sensed the soil, and it’s dormant insects and fungi. Then she felt the invading vines. Actually, vine. The whole field shared one long snaking root leading off towards the Everfree. The gargantuan plant felt unnatural. Unnatural, and hungry. Applejack took a deep breath and steadied herself. She called on her magic, her hooves subtly glowing as they dug into the ground.
“C’mon, y’all need ta go now. This ain’t yer field. Y’all belong back in tha Everfree.”
The plant didn’t respond to her nudging. Instead, Applejack felt it starting to put up shoots under her. She pushed back. The vine and its many branches started undulating slowly as she fought with it. It felt like a caged animal, like it was being partially restrained, but vicious nonetheless. The harder she pushed, the harder it writhed and struggled. She slammed her magic against the taproot and was dimly aware of the field being torn up around her. It almost seemed to be feeding off of her magic. She let go.
Keeping her eyes closed, she trotted out of the decimated field, following the underground root. She traced it back to the border of the Everfree and opened her eyes. Looking back, she saw Hills, Greygorie, Mint, Spitter, and Merry all glancing between her and the field, slack-jawed.
“What have you done!” screamed Spitter.
The field was now a churned mess of rock, dirt, exposed rootballs, and shattered wood. Applejack grimaced in embarrassment. “Don’t worry! Ah’ll fix it! Get me a shovel.”
Spitter complied in a stiff, robotic fashion. Applejack dug down to the root and gave it an exploratory hack with the shovel. It was solid wood. She shooed everypony back again and grabbed a large rock in her hooves. Taking off, she went for altitude, as high as she could manage above the root. Taking careful aim, she launched the rock downwards with an explosive kick. The rough missile hurtled down and crushed the exposed root, severing it neatly.
Applejack drifted back down and started pulling on the exposed root end with both teeth and magic. The loam all the way up the hill towards the farm split and furrowed as she tugged the tough vine backwards through the earth. Then AJ went to work on the cleanup.
***
An hour later, the field looked somewhat normal again. At Spitter’s slightly dazed suggestion, she had adjusted the grade slightly, to take best advantage of the sun and drainage of the hill. As AJ came out of her final trance, the field was back in perfect rows, with the grapevines once again resting under little mounds of earth and ready for the winter. The soil was churned and loose, with just the right mix of sand and clay to provide superb aeration and growth. A pile of cast out stones was laid out to one side. Satisfied, and more than a little exhausted, Applejack trotted out towards the watchers.
Spitter was simply gazing out at the field, a slight tear in her eye. Golden Hills had a similar expression on his face. As Applejack approached, he looked at her with new respect in his eyes. “Princess. Princess, that was incredible.” He poked at a nearby mound, exposing the neatly trimmed vines. “Look at those, they’re positively glowing! This is incredible. I would be shocked if the next years grapes weren’t some of the sweetest this valley has ever seen. And it only took you an hour and a half, start to finish! Think what we could do for food production in Equestria if you did this for every farm! Assuming you don’t have to do as severe landscaping for any given farm, and considering there are about seven-hundred farms in Everfree county… You could hit every single farm nearby in about two months. Every. Single. Farm!”
Greygorie stepped up to flank Golden Hills. “Phah! Farms? Thee moved the earth by the ton. Think of the mining potential! My grandfer, Redediah Frack, had a theory that localized earthquakes could be used to release natural gas. He was laughed at, because what he couldn’t explain to anypony was how he proposed to cause those earthquakes. Thee! Thee could do it! And if thee had a team of gemspotters, I bet thou could pick those gemfields south of town clean in an afternoon.”
Mint, who had been fairly quiet until now, trotted over and stomped a hoof dramatically. “NO! That would throw the economy in shambles! The value of the bit is based on Equestria’s gem production. And if you flooded the market with that much food, prices would drop through the floor, putting farms across the country out of business. We would be ruined if the goddesses suddenly took production into their own hooves.”
Greygorie snorted again. “Come now. Nopony was ever hurt by a few extra resources. There’ll be plenty for everypony.”
“A few?” said Mint, “What you’re talking about would have global consequences. The markets wouldn’t have time to adjust. Sure, more is better for everypony, but this is too much, too soon. Princess, surely you can see what I mean?”
“Well, uh. Ah guess?”
“Bah, that’s preposterous. Mara, your Highness, Mint has always been an alarmist. With this much food, we could just set up a government impost. The excess could be sent to Zebrica or something. We’d be doing massive amounts of good. After all, Equestria is the gem of the nations. It is our duty to take care of the needy and weak of the world!” said Hills.
“That sounds okay…” said Applejack, trying desperately to follow the conversation.
Greygorie shook his head. “Now, I am all in favor of helping the needy, but a tax? How is that justifiable? Let the markets take care of themselves. Ponies are strong creatures, and harmony is in our nature. Trust the people to know what to do with their newfound wealth. Is that not right, Princess?”
By this time, all three of the ministers were practically in eachother’s muzzles. Not one of them was paying Applejack any real mind. She looked to Merry May. She shrugged back at AJ, gesturing towards Sweet Apple Acres. The two of them flew off, leaving the wheels of politics gently spinning below and behind them.
