Shining Armor discovers that life is far more complicated than he wants it to be. Over the course of one strange week, Twilight shows him just how much more complicated she can make it.
Shining Armor is having a 'marital' issue with Cadance. It's not a big deal, but he's concerned with the direction she wants to take their relationship. He finds drunken comradery in his parents' kitchen with his sister, Twilight Sparkle, whose heart has recently been crushed by a well meaning ex.
Shining gets very drunk. Twilight makes a desperate and alcohol emboldened move. It doesn't seem to work, so she makes a lot more. A fire is started. This is not metaphorical. Their parents are pissed.
Both their worlds change over night and Shining has to decide if he's the kind of pony his sister and his wife want him to be or if he's something else entirely.
Also Twilight kills an innocent pony, but that's way less of a concern than this emotional relationship stuff.
The potential winnings, should you choose to enter in the contest, are (currently) at 450$ with cash prizes for 1st through 5th place!
This story contains no porn (But a separate porn side story will be published soon!), however is rated "M" for heavy sexual themes and discussions. This is off the deep end, folks. Grab your scuba gear.
Trigger Warnings --ACTUAL SPOILERS-- : Cheating, NTR, INCEST, MORE INCEST, bad puns, bad guys, bad girls, happy ending! and maybe a murder
Brainstorming and minor editing help from: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/20974/Shardikku (Helped me come up with a satisfying ending! And actually told me my original ending was f-ing terrible. They were right.)
“So get this, she told me that I need to cool off! Me! Like I’m the one who burned down the comic book rack.” Shining drunkenly slammed his mug into the table with a loud thunk.
Twilight nodded sagaciously as she quietly took a sip of her wine. “What a bitch.”
Shining glared at her, his blue eyes narrowing furiously. “Don’t talk that way about my wife! She’s…” His eyes drifted as he thought of the word. “Magnificent.”
Twilight just giggled in response, shaking her purple head a little too slow from her own inebriation and spilling a little from her wobbling wine chalice. “A magnificent bitch, then.”
He frowned as the anger melted off his face, then let out a slipping chuckle as he leaned back into his seat. “Damn, she is a magnificent bitch.”
Slowing her motions, Twilight put her golden chalice down to watch the rippling wine settle. “Gorgeous too. You are one lucky stallion.”
Shining put his heavy iron mug back down as well, letting out a soft whistle before saying, “You know what they say about being hot and being crazy. She’s certified off both charts.”
Twilight groaned, putting her head down next to her gem encrusted royal chalice as she bemoaned her lot in life. “Why can’t I have a magnificently hot and crazy wife to fuck?”
“Don’t you have Rarity? Aren’t you two still together?” Shining tapped his plain metal mug in curious contemplation, making a series of quiet little metallic clangs.
Twilight’s mane had fallen down around her head, covering all sides of it and scrambling her usually neat lines. Some of it even draped into the splash of wine, soaking it up from the table. She kept her head down, and her voice just as quiet. “Why do you think I’m drinking until I’m purple?”
Shining sighed, reaching out to put a comforting hoof on her shoulder. Or at least somewhere in the nest of messy, wine soaked mane. “You’re always purple. I figured it was because you’re a great and loving sister who knew I was in the dog house with my magnificently crazy hot bitch of a wife; and you’re caring enough to comfort me by joining in a time honored shared ritual of woe.”
She groaned as he failed to find her shoulder and put his hoof on her neck. “No. I’d just be getting regular drunk for that. Not Trixie drunk…” Twilight’s horn lit up, but she didn’t move. “Speaking of which…”
The glass wine bottle floated meticulously to both vessels, her ornate relic of a chalice and his 2 bit metal mug. Shining watched, impressed by her blind control over the bottle as she poured exactly enough wine to top both cups to the brim and no more. He picked his up, and took a slow sip, his tongue long numb to whatever taste the wine might have had.
She didn’t move, but the bottle floated itself back to the shelf where it belonged. She let out a sad whine.
He finally found her shoulder. Or her ear. He might have been a little drunk himself, and her head really was a tangled wet mess. “That’s miserable.” He decided to add something helpful, even if he knew it wasn’t really. It was the sort of drunk condolence one offers without any real plan to follow through. “Anything I can do?”
She kept lying still, but answered surprisingly coherently, “The only thing you can do is not ask me how it happened.”
He took another long sip. Her instructions had been explicit, but he’d already forgotten them. “Okay, but how’d it happen?”
Twilight groaned again, this time lifting her wineglass to right above her head and tipping it.
Shining watched in fascination as she carefully and meticulously poured it over her own head, soaking her mane and coat with the wine. A little splashed on his hoof, staining his own white coat a soft, clear purple. Frowning, he chastised her, “Don’t waste the wine, Twilight.”
“It’s not wasted if I light it on fire.”
He sighed, looking around the room and failing to see a lighter. Eh, she was probably fireproof anyways. Proof. The thought reminded him of something. “The wine’s not high enough proof. It’s not flammable.”
Twilight groaned again. “Are you sure? This is Mom’s wine we’re drinking. Oh! I just remembered that I’m a unicorn.”
A spark ignited from her horn, and he ripped his hoof off her back as she demonstrated, in order:
1. She was a very capable unicorn. 2. The wine was in fact flammable. 3. She was quite fireproof. 4. The table was not in any way fireproof—especially when soaked with spilled wine that was more flammable than kerosene.
Shining doused the flame with a spell on drunken reflex. It was far, far from the first time one of his drinking buddies had lit themselves on fire. Usually it was with cologne, and Thursdays were especially risky, but dousing was the same spell regardless of the day or fuel source.
Twilight finally moved her head, lifting it up and squinting at him, suddenly struggling to form a sentence. “Why’d you, uh, um, the… put it… out?”
He rolled his eyes, feeling a surge of sobriety from the adrenaline of nearly catching on fire. “I don’t want to owe Mom and Dad a new table and a whole new kitchen, thank you. Also, you’re being a drama queen.”
She squinted harder at him. “It’s drama Princess, thank you.”
He sighed. “Okay, Drama Princess. Tell me what happened. And drink the wine, don’t use it for a shoddy ritual sacrifice.”
She muttered, “It doesn’t have to be shoddy.”
“Just tell me.”
Twilight groaned, then sat upright. Her dazzling chalice somehow was full again, and she took a nervous sip as she looked at his chin. Not his face.
“She, uh, wasn’t into me.”
He snorted. “Deets. With a reaction like that, there’s more to the story.”
Her eyes darkened as she continued to stare at his chin. She took a deep breath, and her eyes focused clearly and intently. “Fine. It turns out Rarity was just playing along to make me happy. She didn’t want to let me down and she enjoyed spending time with me, but it was never romantic for her. She claimed that she was ‘giving me experience’, and that it was for my benefit.”
Shining winced. “Ouch. How’d you find out?”
Twilight’s face turned a shade of pink underneath her matted purple coat. “I tried to seduce her. Followed all the steps in the book exactly. I’m not romantic, but I know she is. So I used a checklist. Flowers. She loved them. Dinner. She ate it. Music. She danced with me. A book together. She cuddled me. Check, check, check. And then I leaned in for a kiss. And she leaned back. And I saw the panic in her eyes. Un-check.”
He grimaced. “Oh… shit.”
Twilight deflated. “Yup. I asked her what the problem was, if she was okay. If I’d done something wrong, or missed a step, or maybe… well, it didn’t matter. She came clean. It was all a lie. Two months of carefully planned out dates and social outings. I was bored, but they were meticulously crafted for her enjoyment based on a matrix of romantic options and Rarity’s interests. I thought it was worth it to see her happy. But nope. It was all just… just to ‘give me experience’. She’s straight as they come, apparently. I should have been suspicious since she never kissed me and all the modern dating guides I found said ponies kiss, or even have sex, on the first date lately. I wish I could say I’m angry, but I’m not. I’m just…” Her eyes closed.
He finished for her, “Hurt.”
She sucked in a breath. “Yeah. That. That’s what I am. I know I’m the weird one. I know dating and romance and stuff comes naturally to everypony else. They don’t have to study a book before they go out. They don’t need to read ‘How to woo a heart, mare to mare’ three times and memorize each chapter. But that’s just… who I am. And the thought that no one out there will see me for me, will want to touch me, for me and not my title…” She didn’t finish, instead staring lazily forward and taking another sip.
He sighed. “You’re amazing, Twilight. I’ll be angry at her for you. She is a bitch.”
Twilight glared at him. “That’s my…” She paused, then frowned. “Ex? You’re talking about?”
He reassured her, “Yeah, your ex is a bitch.”
Twilight took a much too large gulp of wine, spilling some more down her chin. “A hot bitch.”
He held out his cup, nodding. “Here’s to hot, crazy bitches.”
She slammed her cup into his, somehow defying physics and denting the iron cup with the soft gold chalice. “To hot, crazy bitches.”
They both took another swig.
Twilight sighed, leaning back in her chair. “I just wish I got to… something. Not even a kiss. I’m in my thirties, Shining. I can’t just fuck ponies. I’m a princess. Everyone wants to marry me for power, or thinks I’m some magical mystery mare. Nopony wants to know the actual me. Even if I didn’t care, I’m too awkward to just hook up with somepony. I’m not sure how much I even care anymore. I’m virgin. I’ve killed eldritch horrors from beyond, and yet somehow I can’t slay pussy. Or dick. I’m bisexual. That should make it easier, right? I have twice the options as anypony else, and I still can’t get laid!”
Shining blinked, confused. “I didn’t know that about you.”
“Oh, yeah. Agchherklkl tried to replace the concept of ‘hope’ with ‘dshrt’, and I absolutely couldn’t let them do that. But they wouldn’t stop. And since they are formless, stone woul…”
Shining clicked, interrupting her. “No, not Agchherklkl. That’s the story with all the knives and the breezie dust and the dragon thing you had to do with the stuff. I mean the bisexual thing. I thought you were gay?”
Twilight snorted, clearly amused. “I’m literally a walking bisexual pride flag, BBBFF. How did you not notice that?”
He stuttered, “Well, uh, yeah, but Rainbow is, uh, rainbows, and she’s not gay?”
Twilight stared at him incredulously. “Rainbow Jack? Appledash? Have you been paying attention when we all visit? The only thing gayer than Rainbow is her wife, Applejack.”
Shining took another drink. “Huh. Well there goes that fantasy.”
“Oh, me too. I was happy for them when they got married, but also… jealous? Envious? I felt like they were taking something from me somehow, but I knew they weren’t. I hate feelings. I hate romance. Why is my biological drive to have sex such an over powering need, and why can’t I just sate it without all this romance crap? Can’t we live like ducks?”
Shining wasn’t keeping up. He was one too many drinks in. So he had another to help him keep up. “Ducks? What about ducks?”
She sighed. “Ducks don’t do this whole thing. Hens don’t do anything at all. They just get cornered by some aggressive drake who forcefully gets on their back and fucks them. No questions. No emotions. Just raw, straight fucking. The only conversation they have is with her vagina and his penis. If the hen likes him, she loosens it up and lets him all the way in. If she doesn’t, she squeezes it tight and it turns into a maze vagina. If she doesn’t squeeze hard enough, or he’s just more experienced, he has a corkscrew penis that winds through the maze and practically explodes into her when he ejaculates. No emotions. No weird social dance. Just raw fucking. If they’re both all the way into it, or if she’s unsure but he’s more determined, then “Boom”…”
She waved her hooves around like she was miming a firework explosion, then smiled contentedly as she looked back at Shining and raised an eyebrow. “Fucked like a duck.”
Shining stared at her in utter confusion.
“When it’s over, if he navigated her maze vagina, they hang out and raise the egg, then go their own ways. Maybe he moves on to another hen and leaves her alone. Maybe they just fuck again later. No weird emotions. No friends leading you on for months. No jealousy over your other friends getting married. No late night dreams about your brother’s cock. No completely sleepless nights wondering if anypony will ever love you, or if anypony will ever touch you below your tail. Just, wham, duck sex and you’re not a virgin anymore.” She stared at him, drunkenly deadpan as she did the fireworks thing again, but much slower and more confidently. “Boom. Just… like… a… duck…”
Twilight went silent, continuing to stare meaningfully at him.
The silence almost hurt. He looked to the left. He looked down at his drink. He took another drink. He looked back up at her. She was motionless, still staring intensely and stoically at him. “Uh, what?”
She blinked, tilted her head and whispered, “Duck sex.”
“Did you say corkscrew penises? And maze vaginas? And something explodes?”
“Boom,” she whispered. Then she took another drink of her wine.
The air felt strange, almost lit with a nervous energy. It wasn’t his. He was too drunk for this. “I’m still not following. I know dating isn’t great, but I don’t think duck sex is a better system.”
Twilight sighed, leaning back and taking another sip of her cup. The energy seemed gone. “You would say that. You’re married. Ducks don’t care if they’re married.”
He snorted. “I’m not sure Cadance does. Maybe she’s a duck?”
“Now that’s interesting. If Cadance is a duck, what’s she up to right now? Why are you here, at Mom and Dad’s house, getting smashed with your sister again? It’s not just some burnt comic books. I told you all my embarrassing details, now it’s your turn.”
Shining shifted. “My turn? I told you. I’m in Canterlot to sign some old guard paperwork they got wrong. You know that. You’re the one who found it. Cadance and I just had a fight before I left. That’s all.”
Twilight shook her head. “Nu-uh. You don’t need a week to sign some papers. I could have sent them to you. You ran away. Like a duck from a wolf. I told you the truth. It’s your turn. I showed you mine, now you show me yours.”
He deflated. “Can’t slip anything past you, can I?”
She muttered something unintelligible under her breath while she looked angrily at her obscenely opulent chalice, “in me.”
Shining continued, “She wanted to… open up our bedroom. To other mares.”
Twilight blinked, surprised. “What? That’s great news!”
He shook his head. “No. It’s not. I didn’t marry other mares. I married Cadance. I’m not interested in being with other mares, or knowing they are with her. The thought makes my skin crawl, and my stomach fall. I’m not a duck, or whatever. I’m a swan. I mate for life, and I mated with Cadance.”
Twilight stared at him, completely deadpan. “You are a complete fucking idiot. Here I can’t get any, and you have your wife literally offering you other mares on a platter. And you… don’t like this?”
Shining slammed his cup into the table. “Yes! I don’t like this! She broke my heart, Twilight. I’m not enough for her and I know that now. Worse, she wants to throw mares at me like some sort of… bribe or something. I don’t want that! I need an emotional connection. She’s the only mare I’m that emotionally close to. Well, maybe I’m closer to you, but you’re my sister. That doesn’t count.”
Twilight bit her lip. “Let’s pretend I wasn’t. Let’s pretend I was not your sister. And we were both here, quite alarmingly drunk as it were, and your crazy hot bitch of a wife wanted you to fuck other mares. But we still had our connection. We still were, you know, us. Just not brother and sister us. All the same us, just as much love and closeness, but not related. Would you let me… I mean, would you… do it?”
He shivered. “I don’t know. Maybe? I’m not… She’s the mare I married.”
Twilight shrugged. “Yeah, but she said to go for it. And you do love me, right?”
“I do…” He looked at his hooves.
“And am I hot? You know, on the crazy hot scale?” She looked nervously to the wall.
He sighed. “You are. You are also crazy, though.”
She smiled, seemingly comforted by his response. “That’s how I know I’m hot. It’s a known fact that craziness and hotness are correlated.”
Shining frowned. “It’s just a thing, Twilight. It’s not a ‘known fact’. It’s kind of a joke?”
She shook her head. “No, no. It’s real. I’ve read at least three papers on this. I should publish a meta study. They used unbiased voting to determine attractiveness, and a series of increasingly complex sanity tests. The hotter a mare was the sooner she’d fail, with an N of twelve hundred and four between the three papers. Which is plenty enough to establish a trend, and identify a direct correlation between the two values when controlling for…”
Shining glared at her while she ranted before interrupting her, “I’m not a duck! I’m a swan!”
Twilight stopped her lecture, forgetting it. “Okay, but in this hypothetical situation, to be a good swan you have to duck fuck somebody. And here you have a pony that you like, and wants to be duck fucked, and likes you back.”
He stared at her, licking his lips. “And is not my sister?”
She groaned. “Yes, this mystery pony is not your sister. They just have all of the same traits as her, the same relationship, the same looks, but not the relationship.”
“You said relationship twice in different contexts.”
“What I meant is obvious by the context!”
“I just said they were in different con…”
“That’s not the point! The point is, would you duck fuck them?”
Shining looked at her. She was gripping the table with her hooves, leaning forward. He swallowed, suddenly wondering if this was as hypothetical as she claimed. “I, uh, maybe?”
She rolled her eyes. “Maybe?”
“Maybe. I’d have to, uh, go on a date with them once? To see if we had any chemistry?”
“You already have chemistry! She’s angry, drunk, and practically swimming in her seat already because she’s always had a stupid crush on… uh…”
He blinked, confused. “Swimming?”
She drank some more from her divine chalice. “Like a duck? It’s a double entendre. Certainly not a maze you have to penetrate.”
“If one half is about ducks, what’s the…”
“My point is that you already have chemistry.”
“And you don’t penetrate mazes, you sol…”
“It’s me? Isn’t it? I’m doing something wrong. I’m the weird one…” Twilight sighed, setting down her royal chalice.
Shining smiled. “Twilight, it’s not you. You’re not doing anything wrong. I’m just a little…” He looked at the iron mug on the table. It was empty. There were three empty wine bottles nearby. There were two ponies. “Very, very drunk right now.”
She put her face in her hooves. “I’ve tried everything! Every checklist. Every book. Nopony, nocreature, has ever picked up on it. I’ve hit on every one of my friends. Aggressively. And nothing. The only ponies to ever like me back were Rarity and Star Tracker. And Rarity was a lying bitch!”
Shining picked up the iron mug, taking a closer look at the dent from earlier. Gold shouldn’t dent iron. Was it actually made of lead? He’d had this mug since he was a foal. No wonder he was so strong! He’d always been lifting! “Whatever happened to Star Tracker?”
Twilight paled, not even breathing for a solid twenty seconds before responding. “Well that fucking dried me right up.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s like Saddle Arabia down there. Never talk about Star Tracker again.”
“I’m beginning to think you’re being a little inappropriate with me, Twilight.”
“Inappropriate? Me? The pony who’s so drunk that I see three of you and so desperate that I’d take them all at once?”
“Yes. Inappropriate. I don’t think it’s fair that you won’t tell me about Star Tracker. He seemed like a good stallion.”
Twilight began to hyperventilate. “I’m in my thirties and I’ve never had sex and I’m emotionally wrecked because my girlfriend and longtime friend betrayed me and broke my heart. I’m as drunk as I can possibly be and still be conscious and I’m hitting on you like you’re a drum… and you want to know about… Star Tracker?”
Shining nodded. “Yes, Star Tracker. He’s, uh, a blue guy. Has stars on his flank. I don’t really remember what he looks like beyond that, honestly.”
Twilight stared. “I killed him. He’s dead.”
Shining smiled. “Oh, good. I was worried you weren’t going to tell me and I’d always wonder.”
She smiled back. “We’re both too drunk to remember this tomorrow. I can say anything!”
Realization struck him like the back-hoof from his mother when he asked why he was only allowed to drink from the iron mug when he was a foal. “We can say anything! We’re three bottles down!”
Twilight threw another bottle to the ground, smashing it and sending broken shards of glass around the room. “Four!”
Shining watched the wet puddle of broken glass and wine seep into their parents’ floor. “That one had wine in it.”
She tried again, grabbing the other bottle and flinging it to the ground. This one practically exploded, sending broken shards of glass around the room. She shouted, “Now it’s four! Four on the floor!”
He stood up, feeling the room whirl around him like a tornado. “We’re limitless!”
Twilight stood up as well, wobbling as she climbed onto the table. “Get up here and kiss me. Let’s go on a date!”
Drunkenly, Shining climbed up with her, letting her pull him up on the burnt and dented table with her wings. “Yeah. Date. Fuck it. Let’s do it. I love you, LSBFF.”
Twilight leaned forward to kiss him, but instead ended up catching him in her wings as he collapsed.
She looked down at him, gauging his level of inebriation to be ‘completely trashed’. Twilight stilled, took a breath, and relaxed as she picked up all the shards of glass with her magic.
She climbed steadily off the table, carrying him easily. Then she neatly put all the glass in the recycle bin. She picked up the un-broken bottles and put them in as well. She neatly closed the wine cabinet, and tucked their respective goblets to the sink.
She looked down at Shining, smiling with a strangely sober look. “Only took about thirty years, but I’m holding you to that promise. See you tomorrow, BBBFF.”
And she lit the table on fire before she turned to leave. It spread quickly to the floor, then up the curtains as she left the room, crackling and burning behind her as the flames crawled up the walls of her parents’ kitchen.
Then she walked calmly back into the room, put the fire out with a spell, and said with surprise, “Whoops. I actually drunk am I drunk.”
Shaking her head, she carried Shining to his foalhood room, where she gently tucked him in. “Nighty Night, Shiny Shine. See you tomorrow. We date have!”
She was too drunk to notice him open his eyes, and briefly track her out of the room.
Shining stood awkwardly to the side as his parents, Twilight Velvet and Night Light, stared at the burnt out wreck of a dining room. Night was unflappable, more bemused than anything. Velvet, at least, was furious.
“One night… I leave you two alone for one night, and you almost burn down the house! You’re not teenagers, Shining. What the absolute hell were you doing?”
Night just kept staring at the charcoal covered table.
Shining mumbled, “We were drinking, and had a little too much, and things got out of hoof. Twilight and I will pay to get everything fixed.”
She glared at him, furious. “If you were younger, I’d sure as heck fix you. And where is Twilight? I’m assuming she’s the one that lit the fire?”
Shining awkwardly shuffled, not wanting to recount the morning conversation he’d had with his sister while they were both hungover. Aside from the awkwardness of his impending date, they’d decided that it was his job to soften up their parents, specifically Velvet, before they confronted Twilight Sparkle. Twilight and Velvet sometimes built off each other’s anger into a whirlwind of frustrated screaming where nopony understood each other. His sister understood the cycle, even if she was part of it. His mother did not.
“Probably? I don’t really remember.” That much was true.
Velvet loudly groaned, practically screaming in frustration. “Of course she did! And now she’s not even here to take the blame.”
Night coughed, then gave a nod toward Shining. “It’s just stuff, honey. We can replace it. Shining and Twilight will pay for it.”
Shining piped in, glad for the save his father was throwing out, “Dad’s right. Nopony was hurt, and we’ll replace everything.”
Velvet leaned on Night. “But it was my stuff! And I liked that stuff.”
Shining sighed. “I’m really sorry, Mom. She just was dumped by Rarity, and Cadance and I are having a tiff, and we just let things go too far and neither one of us was the responsible party to stop the other.”
Velvet quipped, “There was some kind of party.”
Night frowned, nudging Velvet to get her attention. “Did you say Twilight was dumped by Rarity?”
Velvet perked up, suddenly focused intently on Shining. “What? They were perfect for each other! It was like watching two beautiful swans every time they were together. So much gorgeous chemistry…” Her voice trailed off.
Shining grimaced, last night’s memory being more clear than he’d like. “I think Twilight’s a duck.”
Night’s voice was stern. “Don’t speak ill of your sister. She’s awkward, and a little irresponsible apparently, but she’s a good mare.”
Shining tried, “No, I mean… she’s, uh… not a good match for Rarity is all.”
Velvet groaned, now more panicked about Twilight than the still smoldering room. “It took years for her to ask out Rarity! What are we going to do? She deserves to be happy. She needs someone who loves her. Someone who brings her presents, who says nice things about her, who dotes on her and makes her feel like she’s on top of the world. Is it too much to ask for my children to be happy?”
“I don’t think she cares about most of that. She seemed to, uh, go through the motions of romance with Rarity for Rarity’s sake, not hers. I mean, she obviously liked Rarity, but, uh, Twilight already has family and friends that love her. I think she’s more interested in the other benefits that come with a romantic relationship.”
Velvet stomped her hoof, undeterred. “Actually, maybe this is a good thing. This time we can get her with a stallion. Then we can have grandfoals!”
Shining frowned. “Mom, her love life is none of your business. And you already have a grandfoal, remember? Flurry Heart? My daughter?”
Night chimed in. “We love Flurry, but she’s in that awkward teenage phase. We want little ones. You and Cadance should have another. It’s about time.”
Velvet added, “Yes! Where are the foals, Shining? It’s been over a decade since Flurry was cute and little. Why doesn’t she have a little sister or brother? Your penis works, right? Because there’s treatments for that sort of thing.”
Shining covered his face. “Mom! Drop it. I don’t need treatment. Cadance and I are waiting, that’s all.”
Night quietly added, “You better not wait too long, Son.”
Velvet loudly announced, “I can’t have any more foals.”
“I’m not having this conversation right now! We burned down your kitchen, let’s focus on that!”
Night and Velvet looked at each other, and Velvet grumped, “No, let’s be honest. Twilight burned down our kitchen. You’re just an accessory. We’ll talk with her later.”
Night nodded. “We’ll send you both the bill, but we know she’s the fire starter. You’re usually the fire extinguisher.”
Shining frowned. “Look, just don’t be too rough with her. She’s going through a lot right now, and I’m sure she feels terrible about the kitchen.” That was a lie. Shining was confident that Twilight really didn’t care about the kitchen in the grand scheme of things.
Night and Shining both glared at Velvet, who wilted slightly. “Oh, fine. I’ll try very hard to keep it civil. But I am going to ask her about her love life. She needs to be happy. Not burning down kitchens while she’s Trixie drunk. That’s no way for a mare to live—especially my daughter!”
Shining nodded. “Thanks. And yeah, no one needs to be Trixie drunk.”
Dinner was bizarre. That was the only way Shining could describe it. Twilight and him were on a ‘Date’, but there were some obvious limitations. They couldn’t have gone out in public. Twilight didn’t want to use the castle, as she didn’t want Starlight catching her.
Their parents were out, shopping for new furniture for the burnt kitchen, so Twilight and Shining were having their ‘Date’ in their parents’ sitting room. There was a small batch of flowers on the coffee table, and a half bottle of wine for them to share, as Twilight didn’t want things getting “out of hoof” again. She’d also brought a salad and some appetizers that she’d borrowed from the castle kitchen.
Shining looked at the table, then at his sister. “This is weird, Twilight.”
She grabbed a tiny sandwich and leaned back in the couch next to him, sliding a little closer than he was used to. “Oh yeah. Super weird.”
“Huh,” was all he said.
“So, I just went ahead and did the paperwork for you today. Like I offered to do when I found it.”
Shining sighed. “You really didn’t have to do that. You don’t owe me any favors.”
She shrugged. “It took me two minutes and forty two seconds. It would have taken you at least three hours. I already knew all the references, and I file them on occasion for my guard. There’s even an official protocol in place where my signature counts as theirs for paperwork like this, since the guard just “enacts the princess’s will”.”
“Hey! I was never your guard. I’ve guarded Princess Celestia and Cadance. And Luna—but only that one time she needed an armed escort when she was attacking light posts for being foul heathen beasts.”
Twilight nibbled on her sandwich. “You served at the leisure of the crown. I happen to be the crown at the moment. That’s all.”
He groaned. “Please tell me you didn’t sign me up for magical experiments when I die.”
“Of course I did. I’m going to stuff you and mount you like the rest of them. I’ll keep you in my personal collection of friends.”
He shook his head. “Fun as that sounds, Cadance has the first dibs on stuffing me when I pass. She wants to use me to scare all of Flurry’s future boyfriends. For the next several centuries.”
“Sometimes I don’t know why I helped her hook up with you.”
Shining rolled his eyes in disbelief. “You didn’t even know we were getting married. I wooed her with my mellifluous voice when you were a foal.”
Twilight seemed offended. “No! I really helped her! I came up with the four point plan, I had a diagram, and I even put together a full presentation on why you were the optimal choice for her.”
“That sounds… far too much like you to be a lie.”
“It’s not!” She shoved the sandwich into her mouth, looking at him with a somewhat angry side eye.
“Why’d you do it? Assuming you had a crush on me?”
“Oh stars did I. I still do.” Twilight was blushing, her eyes lingering on the disastrous array of snacks on the table. “But I was practical. I was too small, and Cadance was a princess. You deserved to be happy, not alone. She was far and away the best you were going to do, and she wanted you! I just had to help you realize that you wanted her too. I was always… thinking about you.”
Hearing her say that made Shining’s chest feel warm, and he smiled. Cadance had never admitted Twilight’s interference. “Thanks, Twily. You’re a star, you know that?”
“Yeah. A star taxidermist.” She snorted.
“You don’t really know any taxidermy, right?” He chuckled, wondering if he should have one of the sloppy sandwiches from the kitchen table.
Twilight sighed, almost dissapointed. “Not a bit. But I have plenty of time to learn.”
Now that was an interesting thought. Shining felt a strange tightness in his chest. His sister would live forever. Like his wife. And his daughter. How would they remember him in a hundred years? In two hundred? A thousand? More? He suddenly felt very lonely, even as he watched her fake disappointment. He’d asked Cadance this question when they were dating. It was time to ask Twilight. “What’s it like? Not living life like you’re on a timer?”
She stilled, then quietly took a bite of her sandwich. She chewed for a moment, breathed deeply through her nose, and swallowed. Her voice was somber. “I am, though. Not the same timers as everypony else, but I will go through changes. Ultimately, I might live long enough to die of old age. That would be a very, very long time from now, though.”
He sighed. It was close enough to Cadance’s answer, and just as vague. “I just don’t get why Cadance is in such a hurry. She has an eternity to experiment with other ponies once I’m gone. Why now?”
Twilight glared at him, staring at him strangely. “It’s not about her. It’s about you. You’re the timer.”
Shining blinked in surprise.
Twilight continued. “She wants to explore other mares with you. She wants you to do the same, to live your life to the fullest so you have no regrets when it is finally over.”
“I hadn’t thought about it quite like that.”
Twilight frowned in concentration as she tried to find the right words. “She loves you—a lot. Enough to… really hurt you, if that makes any sense at all.”
“Not exactly. How would you know what she’s feeling?”
Twilight’s frown curved into a sad smile. “Because I feel the same way. I love you just as much, and I want you to be as happy as possible for as long as possible.”
Shining frowned back. He was somewhere between flattered and offended. “I… appreciate your… concern, but me living my best life is not me having sex with a bunch of mares. I don’t want that. I don’t know why Cadance thinks I want that. I need consistency.”
Twilight shifted closer on the seat, her coat brushing up against his. “It doesn’t have to be a bunch of nameless mares. Maybe just a… few close ones?”
He sighed, feeling ignored. He didn’t understand Twilight. He didn’t understand Cadance. They didn't understand him. “We talked about this. I don’t care about any of this. I’m a swan, remember? I need romance. Doesn’t this bother you? If you, like-like me, then shouldn’t you be jealous or something?”
Twilight slipped a wing around his back, and pulled him close. The contact was strangely warm and comforting, but also oddly possessive. “Oh, I am. Insanely so.” She squeezed him with her wing. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m used to being jealous. I’m always jealous. I think it’s just my normal state. I understand, appreciate, and even encourage you to have any mares you can. You’re my brother. You deserve the world.”
“But I don’t want the world! I want Cadance. I’ve been pretty clear about that. To everypony.” He didn’t fight out of the wing hug. She was surprisingly strong, and it wasn’t meant to be malicious.
Her voice was quiet, and she put a hoof on his leg. Her touch tingled. “What about me? Last night you said you might.”
Shining blushed. He had said something like that. Her touch was warm and tingly. What was happening? “You… are complicated.”
She smiled warmly, and trailed her hoof up his leg to his abdomen. “It doesn’t have to be complicated. You might think you’re a swan, but think I’m a duck. No weird feelings. No weird emotions. No lying about what I want. No obligations. Just… me.”
Shining was feeling warm. She was serious. She’d been serious, but now she was serious. He recognized the timbre in her voice, the slow, swirling movements. They were things Cadance did when she wanted him. The visual of his sister, wings spread and smiling ran through his head. It was an image he wasn’t ready for. He stuttered, surprised with himself. “You… You’re still my sister. We already have a bunch of weird emotions.”
Twilight trailed her hoof higher, to his chest. And put her head on his shoulder, leaning into the embrace in a whole new way. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you. You love me. We both know that. But that’s irrespective to what I’m talking about.”
Shining shifted slightly away. This was too much too fast. He gently grabbed her hoof in his and moved it away. She lifted her head out of the intimate position. The wing stayed, though. Neither of them moved it.
He shivered. He was considering it. Thinking about the possibility like it was real. “Maybe it’s not, though. Will it come with new feelings? What happens then? I don’t want things to change with you. You’re my closest friend, and know me better than anypony. Maybe even Cadance. You even help me build optimized O&O characters. She won’t touch that side of my life. I don’t want us to have some dark secret that makes us uncomfortable when we meet. I need you to be… you. Just my sister. My LSBFF.”
Twilight looked sad and frowned. “You can’t keep things the same forever, Shining. Change is inevitable. Either you make the changes, or they make you.”
He glared at her. “I don’t want any of these changes! Why is everypony pushing this so hard? Plenty of stallions marry one mare and stay faithful until they die. That’s what I want.”
She tilted her head, perfectly calm. “So you don’t want me?”
He looked at her—really looked. Her eyes were gorgeous. Purple and twinkling, he never realized how deep they were. He could see how thoughtful she was. “Not like that, Twilight. At least, I don’t think I do.”
“Hmm… Maybe this wouldn’t work then.” She didn’t seem upset. If anything, she seemed contemplative.
“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Shining mumbled awkwardly
Her eyes glinted, and she slid back next to him. She was warmer than he remembered. “But maybe it will. Aren’t you even slightly curious?”
“Twilight… please.” Why was she still doing this? She’d always been stubborn. Every once in a while she latched onto an idea; holding on to it and never letting it go until she’d been proven right or wrong. It was a trait that he usually found endearing, but found frustrating when it had to do with him. It looked like this had become one of those.
She spoke softly, but held him firmly. “Please BBBFF, for a moment humor me. I know you don’t want to just duck fuck any mare. I know that. You know I know that. Give me a chance to really explain and just listen and imagine for a few seconds. I know you have a great imagination. Pretend it’s one of our role playing games, and visualize it a bit further than you are.” She whispered, almost sadly, “Please try for me?”
Shining huffed, frustrated by her closeness and her pleading tone. He couldn’t say no, and she was just asking him to think about it. “Fine. What’s it look like to you?”
Twilight pressed into his neck, her snout making him tingle as she spoke. “You and me snuggling. Reading rule books for tabletop games together. Painting armies. Calculating odds for different character builds… We’d spend much more time together, and I’d enjoy being part of your hobbies again. Like when we were young. Cadance wouldn’t mind. She’s made that clear. I’d visit more. You wouldn’t need to send me to a guest room. It wouldn’t be a secret, not to the ponies who mattered.”
Shining swallowed as she wrapped a hoof around him as well. Physically, it was like she was a spider, slowly cocooning him for later. Mentally, he did miss how close they used to be. She had been his best friend, and best game buddy. Twilight always immediately understood the rule books for the myriad of games he liked to play. She’d been eager to go through the books, and loved to talk about them with him. He missed that. And Cadance hated it. She detested the games, and only shook her head in amusement when she caught him perusing one of the books, let alone playing one of the scenarios.
Twilight fully turned toward him, draping her legs over his. “I don’t want fancy dates, or expensive gifts. Just you and I, some wine, and some dice. You’d get your romance, and I’d actually enjoy the experience.”
She was wrapped around him now, fully and closely hugging him. Not tight, but firm. Enough that it was more intimate than any hug he’d gotten from her before, but not quite anything scandalous. Just very, very close. It was kind of nice. He realized her hooves were trembling, and he felt slightly ashamed. This was a big risk on her part. Obviously she was nervous, even if she was hiding it.
She was still his awkward little sister. She played a smooth operator right then, but that was because she’d read ahead and practiced. The thought jarred him. Of course she had. She probably had practiced this little speech all day, rehearsing and taking notes on it until she thought she was as sexy as she needed to be. But underneath it all, she was more terrified than she could possibly let on. He finally hugged her back, silently reassuring her that he still loved her. That everything was okay.
Twilight froze when he did it, but only for a second. The trembling in her hooves stilled, and she seemed to relax comfortably into him as a hidden tension melted from her arms. Her whole body shivered in the same way a wire does when you finally cut it. Her voice wasn’t low anymore, but it was quiet—perhaps even wishful. “I’d get the affection that I’m missing so bad it hurts. It would mostly be this. Just closeness.”
Shining gave her a light squeeze, feeling her press her body to his. It didn’t feel wrong. She loved him, and he loved her. But this was still just platonic. “I… this is nice. But it wouldn’t just be this, would it?”
She crossed a line, surprising him. A warm kiss was pressed into his neck. Her tongue soaked into his skin, reminding him that it was more than a friendly peck. There was intent in that kiss, a heady and honest desire. The warmth spread through him, and he bit his lip. He didn’t stop her. He didn’t chastise her. He didn’t even relax their embrace.
Did he want this? Really want this? She did. He could feel it in his neck as another long, far too warm kiss left him feeling strangely breathless.
Twilight slid her tongue off his neck to whisper into his ear. “It’s really not much more, is it? Just a long, very close hug every once in a while. A little something intimate and domestic to tame a wild duck. Not every day, not all the time, but yes. There would be more. Please, Shining. You’ll get your fancy romance, and I’ll get my needs… filled. We both win.”
He stared at her, really stared. She wasn’t looking at his face, instead keeping herself buried in his neck and mane, but he could see down her back. Her tail was swishing. Her body was pressed into his. She was beautiful. Cadance wanted this. Twilight wanted this. He… shivered at the surprisingly inviting and obscene thought.
Twilight tried again, “You’re not really a swan, and I’m not really a duck. We’re not wild animals, Shining. We’re ponies, and we’re far, far more complicated. It’s okay to be two, three, or more things. I’ll love you no matter what.”
He swallowed. He did want this. “It doesn’t feel wrong, I guess.”
Twilight squeezed him. It was nice. “That’s because it isn’t, Shining. It’s not even difficult. We could just agree to it right now and send Cadance a missive that this is happening. We can and should keep it completely above board with her. She would be happy for you. For us. But it does take courage. A willingness to explore and to risk things. I know you have courage.”
He swallowed. There were so many things that could go wrong. “Maybe. You are making an all too convincing argument. What if things go bad? I could lose you. I could lose Cadance. Even Flurry might decide that she’s disgusted with me. With us.”
Twilight made an oddly happy noise into his neck. “I’ll always be your sister. That won’t change. And Cadance will always love you. She can’t help it. As for Flurry, well, she doesn’t need to know right away. We could ease her in. I’m already her fun aunt. I’d just be a more present fun aunt. She’ll be fine.”
Shining let go of the hug, and slowly peeled her away from him, the cool air suddenly separating them reminding him of how close they just were. Twilight didn’t fight him, but she was silent and unreadable while he did it.
He flashed her a slight smile. “I… need to think about this.”
“But that’s not a ‘No’?” Her voice was hopeful.
He blinked, and then smiled wider than he expected to. “It’s not, surprisingly. Not at all.”
Twilight’s impassive face broke into a wide grin as well, joy visibly coursing through her. “Yes! I followed all the steps in ‘Convincing arguments for dubious activities, Volume 4’ and it worked!”
He shook his head and chuckled. “You’re a nerd.”
She chuckled back. “A nerd you love.”
His answer was as easy as it always would be. “I do.”
He was in his room, responding to the letter Cadance had sent. The magical missive had popped in just as Night and Velvet got home. At first they were confused to see Twilight in the sitting room. Then they asked about the kitchen. Then they asked about her situation with Rarity. Then the shouting had started. Velvet and Twilight had been going at each other with a variety of exclamations that boiled down to “It’s none of your business!” responded to with a whole variety of language that distilled to “Yes it is! I am your mother!” for about half an hour of aggressive back and forth.
Shining was relieved when Night had brought them both down with “Nopony wants to hear this, especially not Shining and I. Let him work on his letter in peace.”
They were still arguing, but he at least couldn’t make out the words. He could finally focus on his wife’s letter.
The letter wasn’t what he expected. It was an emergency of sorts, but not a pressing one. Flurry had asked to spend the evening with her coltfriend. With no chaperon.
Cadance had been against it. Flurry had tried to sneak out, but had been caught by the guards.
The reason the letter had been sent was that Cadance wanted a united front with Flurry. She and Shining needed to be on exactly the same page, at least when it came to parenting their daughter.
It was just one of the many things about her that he loved.
Cadance didn’t want to punish her too harshly, but also didn’t want a repeat performance. The filly was still too young to get up to any tomfoolery like that, and if her coltfriend had put her up to it, then there would be serious repercussions for him.
A pang of empathy shot through Shining, imagining the poor lad caught up in this completely unknowingly. A helpless victim of another aggressive mare. Then again, if he had tried to corrupt Shining’s daughter, there was going to be hell to pay. Apparently, to Shining’s mild amusement, his spymaster had even ordered the colt investigated. Woe to those that dare date his daughter.
The arguing had finally ended, and Shining managed to sign his response. He didn’t want to ask Cadance about Twilight just yet. He wasn’t completely sure. He was pretty sure, but not completely. More to the point, Cadance was probably struggling to deal with Flurry. She didn’t need a further weight on her mind.
She’d signed the letter with “Your loving wife forever and always, Cadance.”
He’d signed his response “Your loving husband, Shining.”
The letter had given him time to think, and now it was too late to be reasonable. The silence in the house indicated that Twilight had probably gone to her castle home, and his parents had retired for the evening. He decided to do the same.
He’d already made up his mind. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted her. She was kind. She was honest. She was gorgeous. They loved each other already.
It really wasn’t much more. Just a little nudge.
A little nudge over a steep cliff.
Shining smiled warmly as he began to fall. Her tongue had been warm. Her embrace had been firm.
What would she look like when filled her needs? Would she moan? Would she kiss him again? After, would she want to cuddle?
He imagined all three of them, Twilight, Cadance, and Shining, curled up together sleepily and contently. The image made him happier than he thought it should. A warmth spread through his stomach, and through his hooves. His heart raced. The warmth went a little lower, and so did his hooves.
He licked his lips, wondering if he should have kissed her back tonight. He fantasized about how she really, truly would have let him. Let him was the wrong word. She would have loved it. She had all but said she craved it. He had been one kiss away from… exactly what he was imagining.
Visions of violet, purple, and soft pink lips filled his mind while he pretended his hooves were her body. His face flushed, his heart quickened, and the fall was complete.
It didn’t have to be a fantasy. It almost wasn’t. Shining was in love with two mares, and he was decidedly okay with that.
It was late morning. Shining’s dreams had been strange, filled with his sister and his wife. As interesting as the dreams had been—everything from playing O&O with them to uncomfortably carnal imagery, and much more in between—they hadn’t been restful. He’d ended up sleeping far later than he planned. Shining hadn’t seen anypony around the house, so he figured his parents were out to work.
Work. He should be back home with his family. His flimsy excuse to stay in Canterlot wasn’t being bought by anypony. Cadance knew he was really here to get some space and think, and she was loving and thoughtful enough to let him.
Twilight full well knew the same. His parents didn’t care, they were just happy to have both their children back for the time being. Probably the only pony in his life the excuse was really for was Flurry. And she didn’t give him the time of day anymore, especially now that she was obsessed with this new coltfriend.
Why hide anything at all anymore?
He sat in the burned out kitchen, wondering how he got there. He needed to talk to Twilight, bad enough that he should probably visit her at the castle. There was no reason he couldn’t. It was perfectly normal for him to visit as her brother. They had been over worried. Nopony would guess that they were trying out dating.
And so what if they did? She was the sole leader of all of Equestria. The Princess in charge. He was the Prince of the Crystal Empire.
At worst, there would be some weird glances and a publicity hit, but neither he nor Twilight would care.
How nice would that be? A visit where all three of them could sit down, laugh and chat together like normal. And then all three of them could retire to the bedroom. And there would be snuggles.
Shining loved snuggles. Cadance loved snuggled. Twilight probably would love snuggles. Then snuggles would turn into kisses. Then kisses would turn into…
The thought made his heart race again. Cadance would love Twilight easily, frankly she probably already did. His wife had an active and fertile imagination, and almost certainly had a fantasy or ten about his little sister. The thought made him smile—he loved Cadance for who she was.
The evening came quietly. Shining had spent the first half of the day collecting his thoughts at the house, and the second half of the day wandering Canterlot and reminiscing about his youth. He saw the streets he grew up on, similar but different.
An old shop had moved to a new location. Another was gone entirely. A small, busy corner now looked abandoned. Another had turned into a strangely busy shopping center. The worst were the things that hadn’t changed.
Little islands of nostalgia surrounded by bizarre and alien buildings, roads and ponies. It was still Canterlot, but it wasn’t his Canterlot. It wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good. It was just… different. And not how he remembered it.
The sights didn’t comfort him like he’d hoped. Instead they made him uneasy. Nervous.
The only moment of refuge was old Donut Joe’s. When he went inside, it was like being transported back in time. Everything was the same except Old Joe, who just had a few more wrinkles. And some new flavors.
Instead of the Celestia themed Royal donuts with white icing and sun designs, there were Twilight themed donuts. A Royal Canterlot special, apparently. Shining had tried one, simply for the novelty. The donut was good, but the experience was surreal.
He wondered if he should have been uncomfortable about eating an effigy to his sister. Donut Joe had proudly announced that they were the best seller; and not just for tourists. Shining had laughed, thanked him for the treat, and been on his way back into the strange world.
It was odd; he’d been to Canterlot plenty over the last few years. But always on business or to visit the family. Never to visit the city.
He felt like he’d abandoned an old friend, and it had moved on without him. Now he was rediscovering it again, and wasn’t sure if he liked the changes or not.
Still, he was willing to try, and he decided that was the important thing.
The sun set and he returned to his parents’ house to find Twilight and them sitting around a coffee table, with a series of paper diagrams between the three of them and talking quietly.
She looked up, noticing him first. Her smile was bright, but somehow nervous, and she shuffled the paperwork when she saw him. “Shining! I am so happy to see you. We were just going over the plans for the kitchen fixes, and I was wondering what you thought about… green?”
Night and Velvet looked at each other in confusion.
Shining frowned. “Well, it’s a color? Are you asking about making the kitchen green?”
Twilight looked to Velvet, who bit her lip and then sighed. “Yes, green. I was considering a green trim. Night was considering a red trim. Isn’t that right, honey?”
Night Light frowned, glancing at Twilight, then at Shining. “No, I don’t actually want red trim. I just used that as an example, just so everybody knows their options. But she isn’t letting it go.”
Twilight timidly slid a small card of paper to her father, looking strangely hopeful. “If you don’t want red, does that mean you’re on board with green?”
He looked nervously between the two of them, and then with a defeated glance at Shining. “I don’t necessarily think green is the right choice for a family kitchen, but if you two want it then I’m definitely on board.”
Shining looked at what was left of the trim. He’d seen enough unnecessary changes today, and didn’t need to be part of one more. “Green… is an odd choice for a kitchen. What if you just keep it the same shade of crème white you had it before?”
All three of them seemingly relaxed. Twilight smiled. “Good idea, Shining!”
Velvet nodded. “I always did like that color.”
Night seemed excited. “It’s perfect.”
Twilight beamed. “Now that that’s settled, I think we should celebrate!”
Shining frowned, feeling slightly lost. “What are we celebrating, exactly? Picking a color for the trim?”
Velvet sighed, frustrated. “It’s been a point of contention all day.”
Night growled. “I told you both that I wasn’t against it! I just wanted to make completely sure we all are really okay with this color. It’s a big change.”
Velvet glared angrily at him. “And we are. We have been. You’ve just been difficult.”
Twilight noticed Shining’s obvious confusion and frowned. “Guys, we’re going with Mom’s coat color for the kitchen again, remember?”
Night sighed. “Yes, I know. I just wanted to make sure that your mother fully understood my position.”
Velvet took a deep breath, glared at her husband, and sighed. “Okay, now that we’ve decided the trim color, what appliances will we be purchasing?”
Twilight piped up, suddenly excited as she reshuffled the stack of papers. “I made a chart for that! A few actually. There were thirty nine options just to optimize placement of devices for maximal kitchen use, depending on a variety of factors. They map potential hoof patterns along with energy use and how often you’d be utilizing each appliance.”
Velvet and Night glanced at each other and both weakly smiled. Velvet shot a tired glare at Shining. He could see the pain in her face. “More charts… again. How nice.”
A spell warned him that a missive was incoming from Cadance. Shining silently thanked his wife.
“I’m glad you all are making progress on this. But Cadance is about to send me a letter that I really have to check in on. You three have fun! I shouldn’t be too long.” He muttered to himself, “at least thirty nine charts’ worth.”
The letter was not what he expected. He’d ignored the inevitable screaming in the background as Twilight and Velvet got into another altercation. It sounded like Twilight was shouting about how she could keep handling it, likely about the kitchen. Velvet was shouting that Twilight didn’t fully understand how much work it would be. Luckily, Night’s voice rang loudly and they both quieted, allowing Shining to focus on the issue in the letter.
Flurry’s coltfriend had disappeared, seemingly off the face of the Empire. Worse, the spymaster wanted to send larger and more organized teams to investigate.
Cadance had struggled to keep Flurry herself from looking for the colt. There were records of him at the school he’d attended for years but his house was strangely empty.
Shining reviewed the notes again, going over the facts another, almost countless time. The colt had been enrolled at Flurry’s school forever. He was supposed to have a single parent, a mother, who worked at a particular smithy. When the spymaster had sent a pony to investigate, the smithy was concerned about the missing mare.
She’d just vanished.
Their house had no appliances. No furniture. No food in the cupboard. It was cold as ice, and hadn’t been heated for long enough that the pipes seemed completely frozen through—an oddity in the Crystal Heart protected parts of the Empire. The only thing of note in the house was one, oddly frozen, letter from Flurry that was crumpled up in a corner of the room and coated in a fine frost.
The spymaster’s concern was dark magic. Cadance figured the family had left when the mother realized that her son was trying to seduce Flurry and had gotten caught in the process. Flurry was… not being informed. It wasn’t the most genuine or honest interaction for her, but Cadance had deemed it necessary to shield her until the truth was known. Flurry had a bit of a temper, and it wouldn’t do for her to go on a rampage looking for a missing coltfriend. Cadance wasn’t sure if Flurry would feel angry at being abandoned, or worried about something bad happening to her coltfriend.
Either way, Shining agreed with Cadance. He didn’t like the choice, but it was the best way to handle his daughter for the time being. She’d feel betrayed by them when the truth came out, but it was better than the collateral damage that she’d most likely cause in an angry flight through the city.
Ultimately, Cadance and his spymaster had this under control for the time being. He wished he could help, but Cadance had explicitly told him there was nothing to do, and that she’d handle Flurry. His spymaster was trustworthy and effective enough that Shining would likely only get in his way at this stage.
He read the letter again, glancing out the window and realizing that he’d been agonizing over it for longer than he’d thought. It was well into the night again. He groaned, putting the letter aside and shoving the information into the back of his mind to mull over later. He really couldn’t do anything to help. Even if he went back right now.
Cadance had finished her letter by telling him to really think about her points and to properly enjoy his week with his family, a reminder which only made him feel more nervous. She didn’t even mention the supposed paperwork—clearly the weak excuse had been abandoned by both of them.
Shining groaned, worrying that he was too late to talk to Twilight again. He crept out of his room, finding the house dark. Dejectedly, he wandered the house. The papers had been cleaned up from the kitchen. The sitting room where he’d hoped to find her reading a book was empty, devoid of life entirely. As he wandered the dark and empty halls, the only room he noticed any light in was his parents’.
There was a shift in the light from under the door, and a heavily muffled and distorted sound escaped from what was obviously a simple privacy ward. His mother’s charms would have been entirely silent, and not let any light out, so it must have been his father that cast the charm.
Privacy was something that Shining understood and respected, so he decided to retire and get some sleep. He could talk with them some time the next day, and who he really needed to talk to was Twilight.
He could go to the castle—she might still be awake. The guard would let him in. Starlight could show him around. He would have if Spike was around, but his youngest brother was still out adventuring. He occasionally sent letters with the crazy things he got up to.
As it was, Shining figured it was late, and he needed to think about some things. Twilight had been pretty clear about her intentions, and he still had a few days planned in Canterlot. This could wait until tomorrow, and she probably didn’t want to impede on his relationship with Cadance.
He sighed, slightly dejectedly. He was feeling like he could use a hug from Cadance. Swans needed their love. Of course, the more he thought about it, he’d also be appeased with a hug from Twilight.
He slept late again, his night plagued by strange dreams of Sombra of all things. When he wasn’t harassed by nightmares of when the evil warlock had left him helpless, he was caught off guard by surprisingly obscene dreams about his sister.
Just his sister.
The erection he’d woken up with in the early hours of morning hadn’t gone away on its own. He’d had to manage it himself. And he’d managed it with the same dream-like fantasy that had awakened it.
His hooves shook as he made his way to the bathroom to clean himself up. He had felt nostalgically euphoric from the act, like a colt masturbating in his room. Which, he supposed, was exactly what he had been. The only wrinkle in his early morning adventure was that the bathroom was completely devoid of towels to dry himself off with after he washed. No hoof towels, no display towels, and no bath towels in the cabinets.
Grumbling, he’d had to dry himself with a decorative cloth for Hearth’s Warming that was tucked in the top corner of the cabinet. He had cleaned himself with water, but the act of drying off with the the festive tablecloth still felt dirty. It wasn’t like anypony was going to use it for anything, as it had been jammed in the back of the cabinet—probably for months now—but he had just wiped off his… goo.
Even so, after he took care of all that, he’d managed to fall back asleep.
And then, like the worst and most miserable time travel possible, it was late morning. His sleep had been mostly dreamless after that, but the black void had left him feeling exhausted.
And once again, he’d missed everypony. Sighing, he decided to stay close to the house, to be home when they returned. Then he remembered his old O&O books, and wondered if they were still in his old closet.
They were, and for the day he pretended he was a colt again, slowly digging through the nostalgic piles of books. They, at least, hadn’t changed at all.
Everypony had come back at once, with a with a strange whirlwind of activity that Shining had heard from his room. When he went to go check on them, he was surprised by the monumental amount of stuff they’d bought. A replacement table. Boxes of wood for finishing. A new set of chairs. Some tiles for some reason. Half of it looked like building supplies, and Twilight was orchestrating a small army of couriers that were dropping it all off.
Velvet was setting up far too much takeout on the table, ignoring the bustle around her. Shining grimaced, but didn’t say anything when he noticed what tablecloth she’d picked. Night was nowhere to be seen.
Shining smiled and started helping his mother arrange the boxes of food, his eyes glancing at a wet looking spot on the tablecloth between two candy canes. It was grease from the food, he was sure of it. “This is a lot of food, Mom. Where did you all go?”
She laughed. “Oh, a little bit of everywhere really. Twilight arranged for it. Sometimes I think she forgets that we all don’t eat like her. She’s like an empty pit that just needs to be filled.”
“Yeah, that sounds like her. I assume she’s also responsible for… this?” He pointed at the increasingly industrial looking boxes. Was that un-mixed concrete in bags?
She looked around her, seemingly surprised at the quantity of boxes and raw materials. “Oh. That’s… huh. Well, don’t worry about the bill. Twilight’s coughed up for it all. Her father and I had to beat it into her a little, but I think she finally understands that she’s the only one responsible for her actions. Or she’s at least pretending she does. I know you feel bad, but really the money was never the issue and we never actually blamed you. I was just… upset at how irresponsible the two of you had been. I expected more out of my very adult children.”
He felt a wave of shame. “I’m sorry. I really wasn’t in the right mind.”
Velvet smiled softly, opening a box of some unidentifiable noodles that smelled of spicy peanut sauce and burned rubber. Her eyes drifted to Twilight, watching her daughter marshal the last of the couriers. “I understand. Relationships can be hard. You spend a long time working them, things get hard without warning, and sometimes they can explode all over the place. It’s messy, but it’s also not necessarily a bad thing. It can be a productive process. You can learn things about yourself, your partner, or, perhaps, somepony new… Or somepony you didn’t think of that way before.”
Shining nodded, trying to decide if the sticky red sauce went with the burgers or the nachos. “Tell me about it.”
Velvet laughed. “Night and I don’t need to share everything with you, Shining. We share plenty with each other, but sometimes you need to keep a secret or two from one of your kids.”
He snorted. “I suppose what you and Dad have been through is none of my business.” His eyes darkened as he remembered Flurry and her missing coltfriend. “And I understand the sentiment. Being a parent is… complicated.”
Velvet took a deep breath in a moment of shared empathy. “You aren’t kidding, Shiny.”
Twilight walked over as the last of the couriers left the house. “Well, that was more complicated an order than I’d planned. I know I promised to re-do the kitchen, but how do you feel about an extension and new dining room? Something to add a little space here in case you have company over more often?”
Velvet looked at her daughter and smiled warmly, leaning over to give her a hug and peck on the cheek. “Oh, that would be wonderful. I’d love a little more space to breathe now and then.”
Twilight kissed Velvet’s cheek back with a giggle. “Well that’s settled then. I don’t want you too breathless.”
Shining watched the interaction, amused as Velvet took a step back in surprise. His mother flashed a quick frown, glanced at Shining and Twilight, then smiled and sighed. “I’m going to find Night. I think he was taking some of our other purchases to the bedroom.”
Shining looked at Twilight and chuckled. “Laying it on a bit thick, are we?”
She blushed. “I burned down their kitchen, Shining. I almost burned down the house. If letting Mom get her hooves on matching carpets and drapes are what makes her forgive me, then I’ll lay it on as thick as I can handle…” Twilight furrowed her brow in curious contemplation and quietly mumbled, “Which turns out might be pretty thick.”
He shrugged. “Then I’m assuming the extra supplies are exactly enough to finish whatever plans your architect has already finished?”
Twilight smiled with her eyes, but pretended to frown. “You shush. She doesn’t need to know that.”
“I’m sure she does, actually. We all know you pretty well, Twily. You don’t make those kind of mistakes.”
Twilight frowned in response, her eyes casting downward. “You’re right. I don’t. Speaking of which, we need to talk about the ki…”
Velvet and Night came into the room, causing Twilight to immediately stop talking. She glanced at them, then at Shining, trying to communicate something with her stony silence and rapid eye movement.
The message was clear. She wanted to talk later, when their parents weren’t around. He nodded back in understanding, and she seemed relieved.
Velvet and Night both sat at the table, each on either side of Twilight. “Hey, kiddos,” Night said. “Sorry, just had some packages to hide. Buried them in the closet. They’ll be gifts for later.”
Twilight snorted, oddly amused. “You would bury your packages.”
Velvet stifled a chuckle and Night looked offended, glancing at Shining. “The nerve of these girls. First my wife was picking on me upstairs, and now my daughter is being mean to me. How are they ever going to learn some respect?”
Shining smiled back, amused. “Stallions like us just don’t get the respect they deserve in this house. It’s one abuse after another.”
Twilight looked down and twirled her necklace in her hoof, thinking. Velvet winked at Night with an evil smirk. “Maybe you can teach us some respect later?”
Twilight looked up from her necklace curiously, still holding it in her hoof. Shining frowned. “Mom, don’t flirt at the table.”
Velvet sat back and began to pile her plate with a variety of disorganized food. “I’m not flirting, Shining. I’m merely stating that if your father wants to be respected, then he needs to do something about it.” She pointed a fork at Shining. “And that holds true for you as well. It’s not that you’re a stallion, it’s that you’re so quick to sacrifice yourself for others. Stand up for yourself. If your wife says…”
Twilight glared, interrupting her mother. “Mom! No relationship advice at the table. Especially not right now.”
Shining prepared himself for the inevitable shouting match between the two, steeling his focus on his plate.
Surprisingly, it didn’t come. Instead, Velvet sighed and put her hooves up in the air. “Okay. Okay. But we’ll talk about that outburst later, young lady.”
Shining looked back up as the two of them calmly went back to piling their plates and picking through the random assortment of food.
What the ever living fuck had just happened? Twilight and Velvet always had shouting matches when they disagreed over something—always. This was something entirely new.
Shining looked at his father, who seemed nonplussed as he tried to determine which fried lump was a potato and which was a pierogi. No help there. Shining turned to Twilight. “Uh, you two were very calm about that.”
Twilight snuck a glance to Velvet, who seemingly actively ignored them to decide between the broccoli covered in what might be cheese, or the broccoli covered in red sauce. “Mom and I had a… breakthrough in our conflict management styles last night. We have decided that our mouths aren’t for shouting.” She paused, then awkwardly added, “At each other.”
“Uh-huh.” Shining was confused, but this was better than before. It only took them thirty some odd years. Was he finally going to have a family dinner that didn’t devolve into angry screaming? He wasn’t sure how to feel about this.
Twilight finished serving herself, and took a bite of something orange and spongy. Shining didn’t think it was a sponge, but he certainly didn’t put it on his plate. As she chewed it, she frowned, took it out of her mouth, then floated the box it came from off the table.
“Don’t eat that,” she simply said.
Shining looked at the chaos all around them. Suddenly, everything felt slightly wrong. “How did you guys decide on where to eat?”
Twilight smiled. “Oh, I just asked some royal errand runners to pick up a little bit of everything for us.”
“So you had ponies do your re-building shopping, and you had ponies pick up the food… What did you three shop for?”
Night coughed, choking on his fried, cheese filled potato. Velvet looked nervously at Twilight. Twilight looked between them, and then put her hooves on her necklace. “We went shopping for some accessories, and, uh gifts. Our necklaces for instance.”
Shining looked at the necklace. He’d noticed Twilight had been wearing it, but hadn’t looked too closely before. It was a dark blue little heart, with a gold chain. There were pale stripes across it. Fancy, but not too fancy. His eyes went to his mother, who was wearing one as well, dark blue with purple stripes on it. “I see.”
Night added, “I felt bad for the whole tiff these two had last night, and decided to get them a little something pretty to remind them that they are my… uh…” He paused, seemingly to decide what exactly to say. “That we’re still family. Even after a burned kitchen.”
Shining sighed. “I’m sorry I hid away the last night couple of nights. I had to take care of some issues for Cadance. We had a… parenting concern with Flurry, and, well, you know how hard it is to be good parents.”
Night and Velvet looked guiltily at each other.
Shining continued. “By the time I was done, the house was dark and you two were in your room with your privacy ward on. So I wasn’t about to interrupt. It must have been some altercation.”
Night sighed, looking relieved. “They really went at it. I uh, might have joined in as well.”
Twilight stabbed her fork into a blue salad, her voice cold. “Yeah, Dad really gave it to me.”
Shining bit into a surprisingly sour sandwich, forcing himself to chew it as a sandy, sugar like substance flooded his mouth. “I heard some shouting last night, but I’ve never heard you get involved before, Dad. Must have been pretty heated.”
Velvet looked intently at Shining, seemingly studying him closely. “You heard, huh?” She shrugged, seemingly deciding something as she relaxed. “Heated is hardly descriptive enough. I’d call it… reformative.”
Shinning nodded. “Well, as long as you three are getting along, then I suppose it was worth it. No harm, no foul.”
Twilight shivered, mumbling, “Maybe a waterfowl.”
Velvet glared at her, but didn’t say anything.
Night sighed, looking at the table’s offerings then pushing his chair away from it. “Twilight, this food is great, but, uh, I was wondering if you could help me take care of something real quickly? It’s a package for a certain princess, and I’d appreciate your depth of, uh, attention. I wasn’t very worried about it earlier, but it’s becoming a bigger and bigger concern the more I think about it.”
Twilight grabbed at her necklace as she magicked another box of green things off the table. “Don’t eat that, either. I’m happy to help, Dad. Let’s go wrap your package. I’m sure your gift will be fulfilling for the princess in question when you give it, but I’m happy to give it some attention now. Especially if it will make you feel better,” she said with a friendly smile.
Shining watched the awkward exchange as the two of them practically ran from the table. He looked at Velvet, who was watching the two run off with an amused smirk. He whispered, “I get it. I don’t like the food either.”
Velvet smiled back. “Oh the food isn’t that bad…” She lifted her fork and smelled it before putting it down again. “Well, most of it. I think I saw some dessert over there? Can you pass a cream puff?”
Shining found the box and opened it to find baked treats. “Finally. Something obviously edible.”
Velvet and him each ate one of the puffs. He sighed, sinking into the seat, his eyes lingering on the embarrassing stain on the table. Something had changed last night with their family chemistry. It wasn’t bad, honestly. There was no screaming, no fighting, and tons of laughing. They really had somehow solved a decades long problem between Twilight and Velvet.
Why did he feel so uneasy about it? Everypony here was having a good time, even with the disaster of dinner. There was some lesson to be had, he was sure of it. He and his mother ate in a strangely comfortable and serene silence for a good few minutes. He’d never seen her be simply so… relaxed. And happy. It was a good change.
But his stomach hurt. Then again, it could have been from the peanut noodles that turned out not to have anything peanut in them. Or the blue flat papery board that turned out to not be seaweed. He’d made it halfway through that one.
Eventually Twilight and Night came back to the table, both looking content. Twilight’s hair was slightly frayed, but her smile was wide and easy. Even her tail was swishing like she was immensely pleased with something. Night was looking far more relaxed as well. Must have been an interesting gift, Shining mused. Probably some kind of dress that had to go over her head. Makes sense he’d need Twilight’s input. Alicorns were simply built different.
He offered the box of crème puffs to his sister. “Want one?”
She looked at it, and smiled with an amused but deep blush. “No thanks. I’m already crème fi… I’m full… of… that is… No thanks!”
Night laughed. Velvet laughed. Shining frowned, somehow unsettled by his family’s mirth.
Once again, he’d received a letter from Cadance and had to excuse himself for the evening. At least this time there was no angry screaming in the background. He’d left them sitting around the new table, laughing about how terrible the food choices were, and how messy an eater Twilight was. The conversation had been fun, but it had felt like there was a thread just beyond his reach somehow, like he was being excluded but politely.
While it made him feel uneasy, he tried not to think about it, instead being grateful that they were getting along. As he focused on the letter, it seemed that Flurry’s problem was getting bigger, and he needed to be more involved. A lot more involved.
Her dissipated coltfriend? Actually a front pony for a rebel group that had been trying to kidnap her in order to perform some ritual to resurrect Sombra. Thankfully, Cadance had revealed the situation personally to Flurry. He needed to up their spymaster’s pay, as one of his ponies had identified the connection before anything had happened.
Flurry, was of course, devastated. Cadance was consoling her with ice cream, cozy blankets, and hugs the best she could. Flurry’s emotional state, while more dangerous than any weapon, wasn’t a problem Shining could help with right now.
Now the rebel group and their cultist leader, that was something he could tackle. Most of the bad guys had been caught, but a few had managed to escape in the chaos. He had a night of letters to write, and lots of sending magic to work with; it couldn’t wait.
Why anypony would want a return to Sombra’s rule was beyond Shining, but the reality was that ponies rarely knew what they wanted and often gleefully stepped into terrible situations. Most of the ponies in the group probably weren’t truly bad ponies, just swindled by some cult leader’s idea of how Sombra would treat them.
He sighed, angrily.
They’d still be dealt with harshly. It didn’t matter why they were on the wrong side, they just were. Sometimes he hated his job. But all those hard decisions kept most of the crystal ponies safe, so that made it worth it. He needed to mark them as “Wanted by the Crown” and give the order for his special teams of guards to start tracking them down.
He had a list of names, and he started putting little black crosses next to them as he went down the list, his heart sinking further with each mark. The marks identified the ponies who needed to be captured—dead or alive.
It was a grim, terrible task. One he wouldn’t wish on anypony else.
As he worked, the worries about his family and personal life faded. Instead he wondered about the names he was condemning. Each one had a life. Each one had hopes, dreams and relationships. Each one was a whole pony, with everything that came with it. He desperately hoped they surrendered when his agents caught them. He knew some wouldn’t.
The list and the associated paperwork took him all night, and when sleep came it was fitful, cold, and lonely.
It was late in the morning, again, almost noon by the time he woke up. He needed to get back to the Crystal Empire. He’d decided that his relationship problems were… unimportant in the grand scheme of his life at the moment. Still, he wanted to talk with Twilight before he left. He needed something to lift his heart, even slightly, from the low he found himself in after last night’s work.
But she wasn’t here. The house was empty, as far as he could tell. Night and Velvet had gone off, probably to their respective work places. He should have gone to the castle to find her, but the thought made him nervous. If she had wanted to talk to him, she would have. She hadn’t, so she didn’t.
Instead he crafted a letter.
He told her that he’d be leaving this evening due to some sudden business in the Empire, and he’d love to talk to her first. She was more than welcome to come with him and Flurry could use some fun aunty attention as a distraction. They could also work out their other, more personal, issues. He could really use a friend to come back with him, but he understood all too well if she had too much to do here in Equestria.
It wasn’t emotional. It was straight and to the point. He sent it to Twilight via magic, and sat in the burnt out kitchen, looking at the boxes and boxes piled around him. Maybe there were some leftovers from last night?
He shook his head. Maybe just coffee for him.
A noise startled him, and Twilight came stumbling into the kitchen. Her hair was matted and tangled, and her purple coat was messed and disheveled. Oddly, she was covered in bruises. Shining blinked in confusion as Twilight held the letter with her magic.
“You’re leaving already?” She sounded nervous.
He frowned, looking at her hooves. She had linear marks around all four her fetlocks where her skin under her coat had been rubbed raw. He’d seen prisoners get like that when their captor tightened the ropes too much. Not to mention her neck, which was covered in dark red spots.
“What the hell happened to you?” He stared at her. “Are you okay?”
Twilight looked down, seemingly confused, then looked back up. “Oh. Shit. I didn’t clean up,” was all she said.
Shining stared. “You look like you were interrogated.”
She blushed. “Uh, don’t worry about that. Here.” Her horn glimmered and a spell wrapped around her body as the marks disappeared. She smiled nervously. “All better?”
He shook his head. “Not better. Not at all. That was an illusion spell.”
She shrugged. “I’m an alicorn. I’ll be completely healed by this afternoon.”
Shining glared at her, remembering the rebels he’d spent all night agonizing over. They’d intended to capture Flurry. It wouldn’t be a stretch to wonder if they had agents here in Canterlot. His face tightened as he took an anxious step towards Twilight. His voice was angrier than he intended, imagining what might have happened to his sister. “What… Happened… To… You?”
Twilight glared at him, narrowing her eyes. “Stop. I took care of it, and it’s explicitly not your business. I just came down here in a hurry because I got your letter and I was worried about you. I should have cleaned up first, and I’m sorry about that.”
He stopped, letting his eyes take in other small details. She was wearing the necklace she’d gotten yesterday. Her hair wasn’t just matted, it was tangled. Something in it had dried and she hadn’t cleaned up. He noticed that she had ear piercings, a little dark blue stud on one side and a little crème white one on the other, set in small gems. Had he missed those yesterday? They were small enough and low enough he might have.
He took a breath, suddenly feeling nauseous again. The cultists had wanted to use Flurry for a ritual. At best it would be a dark and taboo thing, dark magic could be fueled by adulteration of a virgin. More likely, it was sacrificial in nature. Twilight had been vocal about her virginal status when they’d been drinking. Had the cult…
“What’s going on, Twilight? I’ve been trying to get you alone to talk, but you’ve been acting strange. I’m worried about you.”
Twilight’s eyes flicked to the side, then straight back to him. “I’m terrible at lying. So I’m just going to come out and say it.” She took a deep breath, letting her nerves settle. “Somebody duck fucked me.”
Shining’s eyes went wide in alarm, remembering their drunken conversation from three nights ago. “Duck… fucked? You were raped?” His heart dropped for her as his fears were realized.
She shook her head. “No. Nothing like that. I’ve explained this before. They fucked me. I let them. End. Done. I could have stopped it if I wanted. I didn’t.”
He looked at her again, too many thoughts running through his mind as the bile rose in the back of his throat. “But how? Why? When?”
She bit her lip. “‘How’ is that they just did it. It’s not a hard thing to do. ‘Why’ is because they wanted to, and they could. ‘When’ is, well, a lot in the last three days. Any other questions?”
He stumbled backwards until he was sitting in his chair. “Wow. I, uh, need to think about this.”
She looked downward. “It’s, ah, one of the things we needed to talk about.”
He looked back at her. “Why the bruises? Can you drop the illusion?”
Twilight shrugged and her horn twinkled. Slowly, marks started appearing across her body. “The bruises, are, well, we like it rough I guess.”
“We?”
She nodded. “We. I wouldn’t have let them hurt me if I didn’t want it, too, Shining.”
He had never hurt Cadance during sex. The thought was alien and strange to him. In the moment, Twilight seemed more a wild creature and less a pony. Who would do that? Who would enjoy that? How even?
He gulped, pointing to her neck. “What are those from?”
She blushed. “Ah. I’m, what you might call a ‘brat’ in their vernacular. This is where she usually punishes me… when I’m, uh, snarky.”
He felt his chest tighten. “Snarky?”
“You know, disrespectful. It’s a tendency I have, but we’re working on it.”
“What about those?” He pointed to her rope burned hooves.
Twilight held her hoof up, inspecting it closer. “This is from the restraints. It’s just rope. I could snap it if I wanted. But, uh, it makes it more exciting when they tie me up sometimes. Just a little fun accessory.”
“Accessories?”
She nodded. “Yeah, you know. Blindfolds, whips, the leg bar thing that keeps me, uh, you know. And the beads, the ornaments, the wax, the…” She trailed off nervously.
“Ornaments?” What the heck was she even talking about?
She blushed, looking down at her necklace and then lifting her hoof to her ear. “Uh, well, she likes to, um, watch me. So she likes making me look pretty while she does. So there’s, uh, jewelry and… um… things that decorate me in other, um… places…”
Shining sat back, silently trying to process as much of this as he could. So the earrings were some of these ornaments that Twilight had forgotten to take off.
Twilight stood nervously. “I’m sure you and Cadance do this sort of thing all the time, right?”
He blinked. “No. No we do not. We usually just have sex.”
She tapped her hoof, looking downward. “Oh.”
He didn’t want to ask this, but he’d noticed her odd language and her words rang over and over in his ears. The thought was eating him, even if he knew the answer would make him more nauseous. “So what does she watch you do?”
Twilight nervously took a breath. “She likes to watch me, uh, squirm when she touches me. She likes to watch when I get punished and, uh, shiver. She likes to watch when he fucks me. Especially with the ring that keeps him from, uh… Oh, and, uh I sort of danced a little for them last night. They both liked watching that.”
“He? There’s two?” His heart sank further.
She nodded. “They’re a couple. They usually have a third, but she left recently. I’m, uh, their new third.”
Shining felt more than nauseous, he felt sick. He didn’t say anything. He tried to imagine his sister doing all those things, and it was all too easy. It was like his earlier erotic fantasies of her, only far more painful for him somehow. She had a smile in his mind. She was content. She screamed, happily.
He stared blankly at her.
She continued, “So, uh, anyways, we need to talk about the thing where I was going to join you and Cadance.”
Shining felt his eyes wet. He had been a fucking idiot. She’d told him that she didn’t care. That she had no romantic inclinations. She’d been crystal clear about that.
Twilight kept talking, “I don’t think it’s a good idea anymore. He is, uh, aggressively possessive and refuses to wear condoms, and, uh, sort of made me, uh, emphatically…” She blushed, looking awkwardly to the side before talking quickly. “Promise to be exclusive with them so they don’t catch anything.”
Of course she wouldn’t want to be with him. She’d made it very clear that all she wanted was to be fucked, like an animal. And this couple duck fucked her. They duck fucked her more thoroughly than Shining had any inclination whatsoever to even consider the acts involved.
She smiled nervously. “So, I don’t think I can be your and Cadance’s third… Is what I’m trying to say.”
Shining stared at her, wondering what she was feeling. Probably nothing. She had the romantic depth of a duck, after all. He, on the other hoof, was heartbroken in an entirely new way. He’d been turned down before, but this wasn’t that. This was something else far more devastating. This was his LSBFF, and it looked like that’s what she’d always be.
If even that.
Would that be better? Or would that be worse? Every time he’d see her, he’d see these bruises. He’d know she was hiding it under an illusion. Worse than the bruises, the matted coat and mane were even more damning. He recognized those stains. He knew what it looked like when cum dried in coats and manes. She was covered in it, it was far more than any normal stallion could manage in a night. It must be some stallion.
He felt something warm fall down his face, and his heart was empty. “If you’re happy.”
She smiled, looking anywhere but at him. “Oh good. I was worried how you’d take it. I mean, I love you, I really do, but this isn’t about love for me, exactly. It’s, you know, like a duck. My body just needs it, and I’ve never felt this happy and content with that part of my body and mind after years of struggling and pining for ponies that just… weren’t good matches for me, you know? It’s such a relief to find a pair of ponies that just want to make me orgasm until my mind goes blank and then some, then they get up and go to work in the morning no questions asked.”
Shining stared at her, the warm tears running down his cheeks as he asked the last question. “I need to know… Who are they?”
She blushed, still looking awkwardly to the side. “I really shouldn’t tell you, but, uh, I guess you do deserve to know. It’s, please don’t judge, it’s, uh, Mom and Dad.”
“I have to go back to the Crystal Empire. Cadance is having a parenting emergency with Flurry. I’ll be at the train station waiting for the next train.” He got up from his seat, and walked out the door, leaving Twilight standing confused in the family kitchen that she’d burnt to the ground.
The wait at the train station was too long. After several hours of uncomfortable silence and occasional bouts of unnamed emotions, he left. The next train heading to the Empire was still hours away, not arriving until after dark. He’d not wanted to be around so many ponies, so instead he went to one of his old haunts. A restricted corner of the town supposedly for guard training, but rarely used.
The old training dummy took another blow as he slammed his hoof into it, his heavy hooves crunching into the wood and splintering some off it with a loud snap.
He wasn’t angry. Angry meant somepony was at fault. Nopony was at fault. They were just different. As different as ducks and swans. He slammed another hoof into the dummy, hitting it hard enough to crack the wood.
Shining sighed, and leaned into the dummy, hugging it. He started to cry again.
Why had he been crying? Why couldn’t he stop?
Was it because he didn’t feel welcome at any of his homes right now? He needed to go to the Crystal Empire’s castle. He could evade Cadance’s awkward questions and focus on the work. There was a lot of work.
He squeezed the dummy in his hug, unable to stop crying as it snapped in half. He stayed there, tears streaming down his cheek while the sky began to grow dark as the sun set.
“Hey! That’s guard property! Who are you, and how did you get in?” a voice shouted at him from behind.
The sudden military communication soothed him. He could handle rank and structure. Shining stifled his tears. “Shining Armor. Retired guard Captain, Prince Consort of the Crystal Empire, and Royal Family. I apologize for not doing the paperwork to use this facility.”
The pony behind him got closer, suddenly quiet. “Holy Celestia, it really is you! Prince Armor!”
She was a thin little guard, but she carried her spear well, and her armor had a good polish to it. He wiped the tears off his face and nodded.
She smiled, then bowed. “What are you doing here, Prince? This isn’t exactly the best facility. I was only here to make sure nothing had been stolen.”
He sighed. “At ease. I just needed some space to think things through. I’m waiting for a train to the Empire, and I knew this was near the station. And I used to exercise here in my early days, back when it was a nice facility and I was just another guard.”
She looked around in wonder. “Wow. That’s amazing.”
He shrugged. “Everybody has to start somewhere.”
She looked back to him, her eyes twinkling. “You’re a legend in the guard, you know?”
He stared, surprised at the sudden turn of conversation. “A legend?”
She nodded. “A legend. You fought Princess Luna during the Long Night. You stood up to Tirek. Your years of campaigns against the yetis. How you bagged a freaking princess, then fought Sombra to a stand still and became a leader of a country. No other guard has come close to that. Not to mention how Captain Gallus couldn’t even touch you during sparring matches a few years back, and he’s easily ten times better than the rest of us. You’re… mythical.”
Shining felt oddly warm. “Oh. I… Uh… Thank you.”
The mare smiled as her eyes flashed wide in realization. “I’m Cinnamon Crunch, and I actually have a request, Prince. I just realized you might be able to help me with something.”
He nodded, still mulling over her earlier comment. “What is it you want, Cinnamon?”
She kicked her hoof. “Well, this is a completely inappropriate request, but you only live once, and I’m never going to happen across you alone in an abandoned training facility again. I know you’re married, but I’m in heat right now and a little impaired on this topic, which is the real reason they sent me to this abandoned post, and I don’t have anything to help with that, and you have really really good genes, and you’re super hot, and I wouldn’t tell a soul, but could you put a foal in me?”
“Excuse me?” He stared at her.
She blushed, and he noticed the tell-tail flush running across her coat. She really was in the thick of it. “Please don’t be angry, I’m desperate and you’re like a shining beacon of hope in a miserable fourteen hour shift. Truth be told, I could probably keep it under control if it had been anypony else here, but you’re The Shining Armor, and I will never have another opportunity like this again.”
Shining put a hoof to his forehead.
She was untying her armor. “Please? Oh stars, I need this. I’ll do anything you want. Anything at all…”
He swallowed, remembering his sister’s bruises. A guard could take a little abuse. She carried her armor well, and was clearly a tough little pony. She’d probably enjoy it. He was feeling unnaturally aggressive as well. Could he just… do it? Use a random pony whom he just met for that, and work out his aggression? She wanted it. It was irresponsible of both of them.
He felt a warm flush through his body as he realized that her offer was very, very real for both of them. It would solve so many problems at once. Velvet would get her foal. Cadance would be happy he had some fun. His burning, frustrating rage and guilty pent up arousal would be released. He’d be free of this awful, tearing emotion.
Was he a swan? Or was he a duck?
Cinnamon stepped closer, her heady scent hitting his nose and making him feel warm and fuzzy, and causing his nostrils to flare wide as he took a deep, primal breath. His tongue was wet. His voice wavered. “You’ll do… anything?”
She shivered, smiling as she pressed closer to him. “Anything.”
Shining took a deep breath and looked intently at the mare, relishing her red and brown swirls. She was visibly excited. Her hair was clean and trim. He could ruin it. He could leave her peppered in little dark red spots and scattered with darker bruises. He could leave her cream filled, right where and when it mattered most. Cadance wouldn’t mind at all. Cadance would find this whole scenario incredibly hot, and make him retell it over and over.
He swallowed. Everybody in his life was a duck.
“Then put your armor back on and get back to your post.”
Cinnamon’s head dropped. Shining walked past her, towards the train station. Her dejected apology was directed towards the ground. “You only live once and I had to give it a shot. Sorry, Prince.”
He didn’t answer. He kept his head high, and walked gracefully and proud. They could all be ducks. Every single one of them. Maybe that was the pony condition. They could have that luxury.
He was a fucking swan, and he had work to do at his castle.
Shining sat on the train in his private car, going over the files. There were ten free rebels. Ten ponies that his teams hadn’t been able to find. The other fifteen that he’d crossed off last night had been caught.
They were dangerous, but everypony deserved a chance. Still, he couldn’t let them roam free. Sombra’s danger was too strong. More to the point, he wouldn’t sleep at night knowing there were ponies with designs on Flurry. He’d make sure their designs were never realized.
She had to have the opportunity to grow up and choose what and who she’d be. He’d love her regardless. Duck or swan, she was his daughter and he’d do anything for her to be safe.
The train car swirled, and popped as a magical explosion happened out of nowhere. Reflexively, he was already coated in his shield spell, and his hooves were blocking his face. He didn’t have a weapon, but he didn’t need one. With his spell he was sturdier than any amount of iron.
Focusing through the blinding light, a shape took form and he grumbled unhappily before he dropped his hooves. “You need to send a missive before you do that, Twilight.”
Twilight was a wreck, but different than this morning. Her face was wet with tears, and her eyes were puffy. She just glared at him and said in a ragged voice, “I’m coming with you.”
He sighed. “No, I have this. You go back to… home… and I’ll take care of it. My ponies have already caught most of them. The rest wont last long.”
She looked at him confused. “What? What are you talking about?”
He blinked. “The rebels? That had been trying to kidnap Flurry? The ones that had a stallion posing as a coltfriend for her? The ones that want to bring back Sombra?”
Twilight seemed startled. “When did this happen?”
He pressed his hooves into his forehead, moving to clean up all the papers that had been sent flying across his car. “Last night. It was the letter I was resolving while you were fucking Mom and Dad.”
She blinked, wide eyed. “You didn’t tell me about this, Shining! I would have dropped everything!”
He grumbled. “I told you, I have it taken care of. I also told you that I had to go back to the Empire.”
She wilted. “I thought… I… Shining… We need to talk.”
He neatly stacked the papers. “We are talking.”
Twilight took a step back and sat on the opposing bench. “I told Mom and Dad everything.”
He focused on the paper on top. The name on it was “Dire Knowledge”. He frowned. What a suspicious name for a pony. He wondered why the bad guys all had names like that. “Mhm,” he said.
Twilight frowned. “They were furious with me.”
He looked up with an unearthly exhaustion. “I… don’t really want to hear about your little hobby any more. I need to focus on these files. These ponies are still out there.”
She shook her head. “No, not like that. Actually furious. And they were right. I was being selfish and cold, and arrogant, and… I’m sorry, okay? I am…” She looked at him with large, wet eyes. “So sorry.”
He shrugged. Dire Knowledge apparently had a very comprehensive education. The pony had been top of every one of his summoning classes. He was probably the ring leader. “Me too.”
Twilight stamped her hoof. “I… broke up with them.”
He looked up from the paper. “You were happy. That’s not worth losing.”
She glared. “No, it wasn’t… well it was, but it wasn’t worth… you.”
He glared at her, feeling anger surge. “Worth me? Twilight, you and I are not sexually compatible. That’s fine. I’m okay with it. It’s okay.”
She stomped her hoof. “No, I mean… It’s more complicated. I’m more complicated. You’re more complicated.”
He shrugged. “No it’s not. I’m a swan. I live in a castle. I look pretty. Ponies look up to me, and I love one pony very much. I’m also territorial and possessive, and somepony went after my daughter. I am going to fulfill my calling and end that problem. Viciously and like an animal. Ponies forget, a swan is a guard animal. They’re relentless when their family is concerned. You raise one swan in a family of ducks, and that swan will fight like hell to protect them.” He glared meaningfully at her. “All of them.”
Twilight shouted, “You’re not a swan! You’re a pony. So am I. We’re complicated. There are layers and emotions and all kinds of feelings, and I’ve failed you so badly right now and I failed myself and I need to make it right.” She started to cry.
He glared in frustration. “There’s no privacy charm on this car, Twilight. Keep your voice down.”
Dire Knowledge looked to be impressively resourceful. He managed to put together quite the plan. He likely had access to one of Sombra’s artifacts. But what and where? Shining pondered this.
Twilight sobbed quietly.
He looked up, feeling… something again. “Twilight, just… It’s okay. You’re fine. Go home.”
She looked at him again, with wide wet purple eyes. “I didn’t think about it, Shining. I was too caught up and didn’t consider… anything. I didn’t follow a book, or a plan, or anything at all. I just… did it. That never ends well for me. After you left, I hurt and I didn’t understand why. I talked to Mom and Dad. They were not very happy. They made me think about it from your perspective. We all feel so bad.”
He sighed, frustrated as he picked up Dire Knowledge’s file. “You don’t need to feel bad. You’ve always had a hard time empathizing with others. Everypony is different and you just assume other ponies feel something like you do. But we don’t. And nopony feels like me either. We are all unique, Twilight. And it’s fine. I still love you. I’d still like to be your BBBFF. But I am hurt right now. Shocked. Confused. Betrayed. I need time. I also need to catch this guy.”
Twilight looked at the file, and frowned. “Check the caves northwest of the Clear Crevasse. He needs a specific spellform to complete his ritual, and the stalagmites in it have a high percentage of gypsum. It would make his casting easier. If he’s not there now, he’ll have a repository of spell components nearby.”
Shining stared at her, and then sighed. He’d forgotten that she was a genius with how much of an idiot she’d been. Without saying a word, he wrote a quick note and sent it via magic to his spymaster. Twilight glared at him.
“Now can we talk?”
He sighed. “Fine…”
She got down on her belly, and bowed her head, speaking frantically towards the floor with tightly shut eyes. “Please, Shining. I love you. I love Cadance. I love Flurry. I also love Mom and Dad and everypony. I don’t want to hurt anypony. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He sighed. “I forgive you. Is that what you needed to hear? I still don’t think you did anything wrong. I was just… surprised.”
She looked up. “No, I was wrong. I talked you into something you did not want to do. I manipulated you, however obviously, into wanting to be with me. And then I, without talking to you, took the absolute first chance I had to be with somepony else. Worse, it was somebody you loved and trusted, and I didn’t tell them about you. They didn’t know. They never would have let me if they did. I was at fault. I caused everything.”
He shrugged. “Just like you caused the fire. It’s who you are. I told you, I’m okay with that. I understand it.”
She shook her head. “But I’m not! It hurts, Shining. Thinking about how alone and abandoned you feel hurts. Realizing I’m the cause hurts more. I’m not a duck. Oh stars, I’m not a duck…” She began to weep as she lowered her head and muttered, “I’m not a duck. I’m just an idiot.”
He laughed, suddenly feeling a spark of warmth from her. “Well, that’s something we certainly have in common.”
She smiled up at him. “Can we… start there, at least?”
He tilted his head. “Start? What do you mean?”
She bit her lip, tears still streaming. “Start again? I’ll spend the week with you, console Flurry, help you clean this up, maybe, uh, go over some of your game books?”
He frowned, furrowing his eyebrows. “That’s fine, but what would we start?”
She took a deep breath. “I… we… I thought I was a duck. An ugly little duck. But I was hoping you could teach me to maybe… be a swan?”
He took a deep breath. Everything hurt, but it was also warm. She was crying. He loved her. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say yes. Instead, he just looked at her while she silently but hopefully stared back.
Shining took another deep breath as Twilight’s eyes lowered sadly to the ground.
“I don’t want to start anything right now, Twilight. But I also don’t think we need to. We’re not birds. We’re ponies. We build off our mistakes, we learn and grow. I’m not going to teach you to be a swan. We just are different creatures than each other, with different needs and feelings. I still don’t think you did anything wrong, exactly. But if you want to spend some time with me as… something more than your BBFFF… well, you’re welcome to stay for the week regardless. But I’m not promising anything.”
Twilight looked up with a smile on her face. “I’d love that very much.”
He smiled back, closing the portfolio of files. “Me too.”
Twilight Velvet and Night Light were sitting at their new dining table, drinking her designer wine with a single lit candle between them. It would have looked romantic, if they weren’t Trixie drunk. “I can’t believe she did that to us.”
Night frowned. “Hot crazy scale, Velv. You know it.”
Velvet looked at him. “We’re not teenagers, Night. How the hell did we let that happen?”
He shrugged. “Hot crazy scale. I’m hot. You’re hot. She’s hot. We’re all nuts.”
Velvet frowned, taking another sip. “She’s our daughter! She should be more responsible! She’s perfect and… Fuck. She knows better.”
Night laughed. “No she does not. We both know that. That filly is an enigma wrapped in a… layer… of… enigma e-yer stuff.”
Velvet glared at him. “You’re drunk.”
He smiled back. “Not drunk enough.”
She sighed. “Me neither. I still can’t believe her. I can’t believe us. I can’t believe…” Her eyes lingered on the heart necklace, crumpled on the table.
Night just silently and messily took another swig, spilling it all over the table.
Velvet angrily grabbed the bottle, refilling her cup. “Shining better get her fucking pregnant. I want foals.”
Night held his cup up, gleefully shouting “To foals!” as he accidentally tipped the candle into the spilled wine.
