Twilight Sparkle gets assigned to study the insanity that is Cloud Kicker's life for a sociology report. It's just a matter of surviving her circle of crazy friends, paramours, and disappointed family members to do so.
Cloud Kicker might just have the wildest life of any pony in Equestria. That may just be why Princess Luna wants Twilight Sparkle to study the insanity that is Cloud Kicker's life for a sociology report. Unfortunately for Twilight Sparkle, she is going to have to survive the circle of jealous friends, paramours, enemies, crazy co-workers and disappointed family members that surround this crazy pony. Will Twilight Sparkle be able to complete this assignment before it spins out of control, or will she be reduced to a neurotic mess?
The surprise attack caught me at a moment of vulnerability. I was in the middle of drinking from my cup of punch when the sudden and crass nature of Cloud Kicker’s proposition caused me to choke on the drink. The punch caught in my throat, and I immediately started to cough violently as the liquid burned my esophagus.
My assailant grinned at me and my suffering. “Aw, I was hoping to get you to do a spit-take. I’ll have to try harder next time.”
I wanted to reply with something snarky at Cloud Kicker, but that is a little hard to do in-between coughing fits and your eyes watering. My cheeks also seemed to be burning. Ugh, the stuff had even gotten into my nostrils. I could hardly breathe. At the rate I was going, my tombstone was going to read: ‘Lady Twilight Sparkle, Favored Student of Celestia, Element of Magic, Redeemer of Princess Luna, and Sealer of Discord. Savior of Equestria. Killed by a cup of punch.’ Not exactly the way I wanted to go, but a distinct possibility based on how I felt at the moment.
“Hey Cloud Kicker,” said Rainbow Dash as she flew to my defense. She put her hooves on her hips, and hovered down so that Cloud Kicker could see her scowl. “I thought I told you my friends were off-limits!”
“Relax boss.” Cloud Kicker placed a hoof on Dash’s chest to push her back, and put some distance between the two of them. She gave Dash a mischievous smile. “You know my rule about not banging your friends. I was just teasing her a bit, that’s all.”
Yea, totally just teasing me with the attempt at equicide. I let out another set of deep-throated coughs.
Cloud Kicker pointed a hoof at me. “She looked like she was getting bored with the party, and was standing over here all alone.” She wrapped her lavender foreleg around my neck, and dragged my head next to her body before I could react. “So I decided to liven things up for her with my typical Kicker charm.”
It had been true that I had not exactly been living it up here at one of Pinkie Pie’s frequent parties. Pinkie had not exactly left me with many choices about coming to the party as she dragged me from my good book on ancient pegasi culture and history. What was this party for again? A few dozen ponies milled about talking with one another, enjoying the concession table, and were playing the party games Pinkie had set up. In all honesty, the parties all blended together at times. I think this one had something to do about a promotion or two at Ponyville’s Weather Service. It would explain the higher than average number of pegasi at this party.
Anyways, even if I wasn't having as much fun as I would've liked, I didn't need Cloud Kicker’s brand of fun to help me along. I worked my head out from under her leg and stepped away from the offending pegasus. My attempt at an intimidating glare was undermined when I had to turn away to let out another painful cough. She seemed completely unconcerned as she ran a hoof through her two-toned blonde mane.
Rainbow Dash scrunched her lips as she contemplated the situation. She nodded her head after she seemed to have come a conclusion. “Alright, just make sure to walk the line.” She pointed a hoof directly at Cloud Kicker. “It wouldn’t look good for the local weather manager to beat down her newest assistant weather manager, but don’t think I won’t do it if you cross the line.”
“I know the score boss,” Cloud Kicker said with a salute.
With that taken care of, Rainbow Dash turned to me and she gave me a small frown. “You okay there Twilight? Looks like she got you good there.”
“M-huh-y...s-surrr-huh-vival is-s-s a.... dis-eck-tinct... possi-ibil-l-lity,” I wheezed out before I was sent into another coughing fit. I was starting to catch my breath again, and I rubbed at my eyes with a hoof to get the tears out of them. Dash looked unconvinced with her raised eyebrow. “No really. I’m ok. Nothing to worry about.” I cleared my throat and blinked my eyes a couple times.
“Let me get you a cup of water Twilight,” said Cloud Kicker with way more cheer than I thought was appropriate for a mare that was getting enjoyment out of my suffering.
“How magnanimous of you,” I said flatly. She gave me a wink as she walked off to the concessions table.
I shook my head in irritation, and turned to Rainbow Dash. “Is she always like that Dash?” Cloud Kicker belonged to Dash’s circle of friends and co-workers, and I honestly had not interacted much with her. She had hit on me both times-or at least-I think that’s what she’d been doing. It wasn’t really a field I had a lot of experience in. In any event, I did not want what she had offered. “Doesn’t it get annoying to be around her all the time? Given you are her supervisor and all.”
Rainbow Dash placed her hooves behind her head, and leaned back casually. “She’s cool - we’ve been friends since Flight Camp after all. Cloud Kicker just needs to be reminded where the boundaries are every so often.” She thumped a hoof to her chest. “Hey, if her teasing really bothers you, just come to me and I’ll straighten her out. Sometimes she doesn’t know where a pony she just met’s limits are.”
I looked at Cloud Kicker as she worked at pouring a cup of water. She was also taking the opportunity to talk with another pony who had become the target of her attention. “So is…that type of thing normal for her?” I thought it odd that Dash would single out one specific pony as one who was not allowed to interact with us.
“Egh, banging a lot of ponies is her thing,” Dash said noncommittally.
I raised an eyebrow. “Uh, how many is ‘a lot?’”
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Pft, I would need an abacus specifically for her to keep count of something like that Twilight.” That caused both of my eyebrows to rise. “If I had to guess, she’s probably gotten to half of Ponyville by this point.” I was hoping she was exaggerating. She had to be exaggerating for comedic effect. Right?
Dash shrugged her shoulders. “And as long as she isn’t trying her moves on my friends, I honestly don’t really care what she is doing with other ponies. I may be her boss, but what - or who - she does in her own time is her own business as long as she does her job. Which she does.”
I did not have to forcibly remind myself to close my jaw. “That’s ugh…wow…ugh, yea.” I gave an awkward chuckle. Suddenly the back of my neck where Cloud Kicker had touched me crawled a bit. The things you learn about a pony that changes your opinions of them…
I needed a change in conversation. Luckily it looked like Cloud Kicker had become distracted at the concessions table by a stallion. I decided not to think about what they were talking about, and Cloud Kicker’s ultimate goal. “So, uh, how are things with Pinkie Pie?”
“It’s pretty cool,” said Rainbow Dash. She looked to the other side of the room and grinned at Pinkie Pie. The pink party pony seemed to be in the middle of trying to get half the room into a song and dance number about cloud pushing. “We’re having a lot of fun right now. With pranks and hanging out and stuff. No big deal.” From what I had heard it had taken quite a bit of doing to get Dash to take a hint about Pinkie Pie’s feelings for her. And some ponies said I was socially oblivious.
“I’m happy to hear that Dash.” What is something nice to say in a situation like this? “I hope it works out between you two.”
Dash grinned at me. “Pinkie and I are pretty awesome together. Don’t worry about it. ”
Worry? Why would I worry? I suppose there is the fact that all of us being able to use the Elements of Harmony depended on our bonds of friendship. A couple of my friends being in love with one another should not interfere with that. Love is just a more friendly kind of friendship, right? What is the worst that would happen? Well, Dash and Pinkie could end up breaking up. What would happen if their break up was so bad they would not be friends anymore? Would they be able to use the Elements? What if something attacked Equestria and they needed the Elements but they did not work anymore? What would Princess Celestia say? What would we do? What if I was dooming all of Equestria by letting her friends date one another?!
Calm down Twilight. Keep it together. You do not want another episode like with the the Want It, Need It spell. Just count until you calm down like that book on stress suggested.
I had counted to the prime number of five hundred forty one when I heard, “Twilight? You ok there.” I noticed that Dash was waving her hoof in front of my eyes.
“Yes, nothing’s wrong,” I said in a higher pitch then I had intended. Dash squinted one of her eyes at me. “Why would anything be wrong? Because nothing is wrong, right? Certainly nothing that could threaten all of Equestria and ponykind.”
Her slanted eyes suggested she was not convinced all was well. Even if everything totally was. “This isn’t one of those things where we are going to need to get Spike and write to the Princess to calm you down, is it?”
Seven hundred eighty seven. “No, no, I’m good,” I said. I gave her a reassuring smile. At least I hoped it was.
Dash did not seem to be buying it as her face scrunched up at me. “You sure? Because you are acting weird again”
Nine hundred ninety seven, there, all calmed down now. “Of course I’m sure. No need to write to the Princess. I just got distracted…” Change of topic, change of topic, change of topic. I glanced desperately around the room with my eyes desperately and I saw my opening to one side. “… By how Rarity and Applejack were doing with one another.” Clever pony. Just take those contingency plans for love potions and spells you just came up with, and bury them out in the woods in your mind. You’ll know where to find them if you absolutely need them…
I pointed a hoof towards the pair as they glowered at one another near one of the walls in the room. They had been like that for awhile now, ever since the two of them had a private conversation about being fashionable versus practical. At least the conversation had been private before the two of them had steadily and progressively raised their volume with one another. It had ended with the two of them agreeing to disagree, loudly. Afterwards, I had tried to talk to the two of them to resolve what I thought was a growing friendship problem, but I had been immediately stonewalled from helping deal with whatever was the problem. The two of them had insisted that they were fine, and that they were enjoying each others company. I had felt increasingly unwelcome and decided to excuse myself.
Rainbow Dash turned to see who I was pointing at. Her mouth moved from side to side in contemplation. “Oh, they just need to get on with it and bang already.”
That thought churned around in my head for a moment. I received back an error. Processed it again and came up with- “Wait, what!?” I barely kept my voice below a shout. Only those ponies near us turned to look at us in confusion.
Dash sighed in exasperation. “Bang. You know? Sex? Sleeping with one another without the actually sleeping. Come on Twilight, you’re supposed to be the egghead around here.” That statement had a little more snark that I entirely liked.
I frowned at Dash. “I know what banging means.” That fact contributed to why I nearly choked to death on punch earlier. “What I mean is that they are spending a lot of time together, but they seem so angry with one another. I thought those two had gotten closer when they got to spend some time together at the sleepover in the library.” Ugh, I hope Dash did not construe that the wrong way.
Dash seemed ready to say something when something caught her eye. She turned to see Pinkie Pie hopped her way over to the two brooding ponies. “Hiya girls, howya doing?” she said in her usual cheerful mood.
“We’re fine Pinkie,” said Applejack in a gruff manner as she pulled her hat further over her face.
Rarity puffed up her mane a bit with a hoof as she turns her head up and away from the other two. “Yes, just fine darling.”
Pinkie rubbed a hoof under her chin. “Are you two sure? You both seem to be all grumpy wumpy today. Want to play one of the party games? That’ll cheer you two up!”
Applejack sighed. “It’s fine Pinkie.”
“But-“
“She said she was fine Pinkie,” interjected Rarity firmly.
“I-“
“Ah can speak for mah’self just fine Rarity,” said Applejack.
“Ok, but-“
Rarity humphed. “I just thought it would be fine if I confirmed to Pinkie that we are fine.”
“Could I-“
Applejack glowered at Rarity. “Ah think she is more than fine at figuring things out on her own Rarity.”
“Fine then.” Rarity somehow managed to seem more disinterred in what was going on then she had already.
“Fine,” confirmed Applejack, and she tipped her head and hat to look away from the other two.
Pinkie Pie looked between the two in confusion. “Are you two sure you’re fine?”
Rarity turned to Pinkie for the first time. “We told you, we’re fine.”
Applejack frowned deeply at Pinkie. “Right, fine.”
Pinkie Pie started to open her mouth when Rarity stopped her.
“Fine!”
Pinkie turned to Applejack with a hanging jaw.
“Fine!”
“Okie dokie lokie,” said Pinkie Pie in a pitch that was an octave or two short of being a squeak. She slowly proceeded to back away. She looked like pony dangerously close to being caught between two angry dragons.
I tilted my head at the scene. “That was painful.”
“Like I said, they need to bang already.” Dash shuffled her wings. She looked across the room and frowned. “Heh, if you don’t mind, I think I need to talk to Pinkie Pie.”
I looked and saw that Pinkie Pie was now by herself to the side of the room. She seemed dejected as she fiddled with a couple pieces of some board game. “Yea, of course. Tell Pinkie I enjoyed the party if I don’t get the opportunity,” I told Rainbow Dash.
“You know you can depend on Ponyville’s most loyal pony.” Dash saluted with her usual bravado.
“Hey Rainbow,” I said right as Dash started to fly off, and she halted to turn back to me.
“Yea Twilight?”
I asked what I'd been wondering about since I got to the party. “So um, I don’t see Fluttershy. Have you seen her today?”
Rainbow Dash looked at Cloud Kicker as she seemed to be wrapping up her discussion on some plans for later that night. Plans I was trying really hard not to hear or think about. Dash frowned when she spoke. Based on Dash’s demeanor, I guessed that she disapproved of Cloud Kicker hitting on everything with four legs more than she originally let on. “Yeah, I’m going to guess Fluttershy isn’t going to be here.”
“Oh.” I sighed in disappointment. “I see. You better see to Pinkie then.”
The Element of Loyalty looked at me with concern for some reason. “Just try and have some fun at the party. Alright?” Dash seemed torn as she looked back and forth between Pinkie and I.
“Yea, I’ll make sure to do that,” I said. “Have fun with Pinkie. She puts so much work into these parties I sometimes wonder how she even gets to enjoy them. So make sure she does.”
Dash gave me a final shallow nod, and flew over to where Pinkie Pie was. The party pony’s spirit rebounded immediately upon seeing her marefriend. The two of them seemed to get right into it as they began setting up the board game Pinkie had been looking at earlier, chatting it up excitedly all the while looking at earlier. Good for them.
I, on the other hand, seemed to be batting zero with conversations today.
I sighed as I was now left alone again. I did not particularly feel like jumping into the spiked pit trap that seemed to surround Rarity and Applejack at the moment, and I got the sense that it would be best to leave Dash and Pinkie to their quality time together. I did not really know any of the other ponies in the party, and without Fluttershy it seemed I was going to be a fifth leg no matter where I went. I could deal with being alone in the library. That was normal and preferable when I was doing my studies. Alone in a crowd. At a party none-the-less. It was… uncomfortable. Old memories from school resurfaced.
“You want to know what a crime against ponykind is?” I nearly jumped when I heard Cloud Kicker tisk-tisking at me from behind. I spun to face her and saw that she held a cup of water on her wing. She smiled at me and offered the cup. “A cute-as-a-button librarian like you being all alone. We really need to get you a stallion or marefriend.”
My cheeks burned as I lifted the cup up with my telekinesis. “That’s… not necessary.” It really was not. “I’m just not looking for that type of relationship in my life.” There was just not much point to it for me.
Cloud Kicker gave a short laugh to my face. “Now that’s a lie. Nopony doesn’t need a good banging every now and again. Even Dash has a good marefriend to bang around with now, and she’s the most sex-disinterested pony I’ve ever known.”
“Call me Nopony,” I snarked back as I tilted my cup slightly towards her for emphasis.
Cloud Kicker shook her head as she smiled at me. “No, no, no. I know for a fact your name is Twilight Sparkle. I couldn’t forget the name of a pony as adorkable as you.”
I really hated when somepony undermined my snarkiness. By hitting on me on top that. And really, adorkable? That wasn’t even a word. “Whatever,” I said, not letting her get a rise out of me. I was wise to her ways now, and I was not going to let her get to me anymore. I drank from the cup of water.
“So, think you can get me into a banging session with Princess Celestia?”
I choked on the water, and spit the contents right into Cloud Kicker’s face. I went into another painful coughing fit as I was mortified by what she had just said.
“Yes! A spit-take!” She pumped her hoof in excitement, completely unconcerned with the water that was dripping off her face. “I knew I could do it!”
I was so happy that I did not have to deal with Cloud Kicker on a daily basis.
I would be eternally grateful, I decided, for the fact that, Celestia and Luna willing, I would never have to deal with Cloud Kicker again. I did not need that kind of stress in my life.
I sighed wearily as I walked into the library, letting the door slam behind me. I had decided to call it a day after that run-in with Cloud Kicker. She had assured me that she was just kidding with that indecent remark. I very pointedly told her that trying to use me to get into a ‘banging session’ with the Princess was not funny--standards of decency and student-teacher relations aside, I’m pretty sure it would be illegal. Or worse, annoying to the Princess! That infuriating pegasus had dismissed my legitimate complaint by saying that I should lighten up. I considered demanding Cloud Kicker write a letter of apology to the Princess, but that struck me as the equivalent of giving the Cutie Mark Crusaders power tools to repair the periodic property damage they caused. Some things just screamed ‘bad idea.’
“Spike! Are you still awake?” Time to take care of some of the daily responsibilities.
I saw Spike coming part of the way down the stairs; he was carrying a toothbrush and a small towel. “I was just about to brush my teeth before heading to bed.”
I met him halfway up the stairs and gave him an affectionate little nuzzle. “Alright, I will probably be downstairs reading a couple chapters before turning in myself.” I decided to get myself cleaned up in the morning, I didn’t want to keep Spike up with my own showering after all. He was only a baby dragon, he needed his sleep.
“Is everything alright, Twilight?”
Why would he ask that? “Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” I walked back down the stairs to find my copy of Ancient Pegasopolisi History and Culture: A Study of Pegasi Militarism, Meritocracy, and Matriarchy I had been reading before I was dragged off to the party.
Spike chewed on his lips. “You seem distracted tonight. More than normal, anyways.”
I spotted the book on the center table where I had left it, and I levitated it in front of me to confirm my bookmark was in the right place. “It has just been a long day Spike. It’s nothing to worry about.”
“Didn’t you enjoy the party?”
“Of course, it was nice to get out of the library.” Spike crossed his arms in a way that suggested he was not convinced as I rescanned the last few paragraphs I had read. I looked back up at hm. “I got to meet all my friends there.” Except Fluttershy, anyways. “So that was nice. It was just that everypony was busy with their own things at the party, and I didn’t really know that many ponies. It happens.”
“You could always try and make more friends, Twilight,” Spike said. “It’s not like you’re cheating on the ones you have by getting more. You would have more fun at Pinkie’s parties if you knew more ponies.”
“It just didn’t work out that way this time.” I shuddered inwardly at the idea of having to interact with a pony like Cloud Kicker on a regular basis. I did not need that type of stress added to my day-to-day rotation. “Don’t worry--I’m not going to become some sort of shut-in again, I promise. I’ll just try and get to know some other ponies better next time. It’s not like we’re going to run into a shortage of Pinkie Pie parties anytime soon.”
“You can say that again,” Spike agreed. He let out a yawn. “Now if you don’t mind, I think my blankie is calling me.”
“I really wish you would just sleep in the guest bed.” I was not thrilled with Spike effectively sleeping on the floor of our bedroom.
“Nah, I’m just not comfortable with the beds ponies use, I’m fine with the basket.” This was an old argument we had gone over time and time again. I thought back to Mom’s tactics, and hoped they would work here: whenever there was a point she wanted to make, she’d bring the topic up ad nauseum until we got tired of it and just gave in. My dad could hold his own in a debate, but nopony in our family could beat Mom in the long run.
Thus far, the basket with a cushion and a blanket had been the only concession I had been able to work out of the baby dragon. Maybe it just came down to dragons having different needs for sleeping arrangement than ponies. The typical grown dragon tended to sleep on a bunch of gems, coins and random odds and ends of treasure. Still, I felt guilty having Spike sleep on my floor. “In any event, you know the guest bed has your name on it if you decide you don’t like the basket anymore.”
“Yea, yea, whatever.” He stifled another yawn.
I trotted back over to Spike and gave him a hug. “Goodnight.”
After a moment’s hesitation at the sign of affection, Spike reciprocated with his own hug. “You too Twilight. Just don’t stay up all night studying, ok?” He broke the hug with me, and I backed down the steps. “I don’t like it when you are all cranky in the morning.”
“Don’t worry,” I reassured him. “I’m not planning an all-nighter tonight. Just some light reading to clear my head so I can rest easy.”
Spike yawned and grumbled something inaudible. He turned around and with heavy footfalls made his way back up in the library to our bedroom. Big sister, just one of those roles in life I had to play.
I turned off most of the lights downstairs so that they wouldn’t keep Spike up. Leaving myself enough light to still read, I then trotted back to the kitchen and began rustling around for my kettle and the ingredients for my tea. My throat still felt raspy from all the coughing earlier today, and Zecora had given me some tea that should help with that. I couldn’t argue with the results of her other curative teas that I had tried in the past. Her mixtures for headaches were lifesavers, as far as I was concerned. Besides, a nice warm cup of the stuff did help calm me down after a rough day like today.
After a few minutes, I had a warm cup of tea firmly grasped with my telekinesis as I trotted back into the main room of the library to get a relaxing bit of reading in. I sat down, got settled, and started to read away. Naturally, that’s when Princess Luna literally stepped out of the shadows right next to me.
“TWILIGHT SPARKLE. WE REQUIRE THY ASSISTANCE WITH A MATTER OF GREAT IMPORTANCE.” The sudden explosion of sound and the appearance of Princess Luna caused me to fall to the floor in surprise, and I barely suppressed a scream as I stared up at the Princess of the Night. She looked down at me with unreadable disinterest. “IS SOMETHING AMISS? WE WERE HOPING THAT WE WOULD BE ABLE TO DISCUSS AN ASSIGNMENT WE WISH FOR THEE TO COMPLETE FOR US.”
There is the fact that she just appeared in my home without my knowledge or permission, and nearly scared me halfway to death in the process. I managed to collect myself enough to get up from the floor and started to get my heart rate back under control. I gave Luna a klutzy and belated bow. To say that a visit from royalty late at night was not on my schedule would be an understatement. “Princess - please, volume.” I gave a downward motion with to try and get her to stop using the Royal Canterlot Voice. “Spike is sleeping upstairs.” That was a debatable fact after she had just shaken the entire library.
Luna frowned for a moment before speaking. Thankfully, she lowered her volume to something approaching that of a normal conversation. “Our apologies, Twilight Sparkle. Sometimes We forget that much of Our business takes place when most of our subjects are asleep. With so many ponies in the cities awake at night, it is difficult to keep track of who is awake at what times. From what Our sister indicated, thou wouldst normally be awake this late to partake in thy studies.”
I gulped and tried to put up a friendly smile for Luna. “I-It’s ok Princess. I understand. It’s just that I didn’t expect you to suddenly walk into the library in the middle of the night.” Luna was still pretty bad about the blatant showings of power. I still was not sure if that was just the way things were done over a thousand years ago, or if it was just a personality quirk for her. At least this time she hadn’t brought her cloak of bats. That thing was just downright creepy.
Luna walked around the main room of the library, taking a moment every so often to look at a book or knickknack I had lining the shelves. “Is everything alright, Twilight Sparkle? Thou seem perturbed this night. We hope that Our sudden presence is not a problem for thee.” She turned back to address me. “If thou art not comfortable with doing business at this hour, We can return during thy library’s open hours.”
“Nonono, that is alright,” I said hastily. “You’re always welcome in my home.” I just wished she would enter through the door like a normal pony rather than going for one of the theatrical entrances she seemed to prefer. It looked like the adjusting period for Luna was going to be a long one. “Would you like some tea? I have a pot heated up.”
The corner of Luna’s face raised into a smile. “We would love to join thee in drinking tea. Thou art a most gracious host, Twilight Sparkle.”
Old styled manners always seemed to help put the Princess of the Night at ease. “Please, sit at the table. I’ll just be a minute.” She slowly walked towards the table and made herself comfortable on a couple of pillows.
I quickly trotted back to the kitchen and retrieved the pot of tea. After placing a pair of cups and some cookies onto a plate, I returned to the main room to see that Luna had settled herself into a sitting position at the library’s main table. She stared off into space in bored disinterest, and could almost be mistaken for a statue if not for her slowly billowing mane and tail. I placed the plate and tea kettle on the table, and poured the Princess a cup of tea before sitting myself opposite of her. “There you go, Princess Luna. I hope you don’t mind the taste of the tea, I originally stirred it up to help with a sore throat.” The mixture was definitely on the lemony and sour side now that I finally had the opportunity to taste it.
Luna picked up her cup and lifted it to her lips to drink. “We find thy tea more than acceptable, and thank thee.” She lifted up one of the cookies to munch on in silence. Scholars had long debated if the royal sisters actually needed to eat or drink or if they just did so for pleasure or social reasons. The artificial and measured alternations between food and drink only made the point that Luna might be humoring me, which was a slightly unsettling feeling. Then again, I'd seen how Princess Celestia can get when the Royal Baker finishes making one of his huge cakes.
There was a long period of silence as I watched Princess Luna dispassionately alternate between drinking and eating. She barely moved a muscle as she used her telekinesis to move objects around. It looked like Luna was all business tonight. The fact she had not dispensed with the royal We’s and her standoffish nature said that much. The Princess had a mercurial personality, and her moods could shift radically depending on the situation. While she could be quite warm and friendly in a social situation like Nightmare Night, she could put on a mask of cold detachment when more serious matters were being discussed. I finally decided that the Princess was waiting for me to make the next move.
“You said that you had some sort of assignment for me?” Might as well get straight to the point. “I would like to help with whatever you need, Princess.”
Luna wiped her mouth off with a napkin. “Yes, Twilight Sparkle. We have an assignment that we believe thy talents and abilities will be most suited for. The Royal Canterlot University is starting a comprehensive sociological study spanning the breadth of Equestria.”
My ears perked at this news. Now that sounded interesting. “I would love to hear more about it.”
Luna nodded, the tea and cookies completely forgotten. “We want to collect information on ponies fulfilling a variety of roles within Equestrian society. Farmers, politicians, laborers, nobles, members of the Guard, craftponies, and so on. The plan is to single out specific individuals from various communities throughout our realm in order to gain an understanding of the sociological makeup of our society and culture by looking at it on a personal scale.” Luna cleared her throat. “We will admit; we are partially funding this venture through our own personal coffers so that we may learn more about our beloved subjects.”
She had me hooked on the idea. “I would love to help, Princess. It sounds like a great project, and I hope it helps you reintegrate back into Equestrian society.” Learning more and helping one of the Princesses in the process? I saw no problems with this.
“Excellent, Twilight Sparkle.” Luna clopped her front two hooves together in affirmation. Her horn glowed, and a manila envelope rose out of her shadow. She levitated the envelope onto the table right in front of me. Ok, so she can stuff random objects into her shadow. Why not? Sometimes I wondered if Luna was secretly a showoff.
She pointed to the envelope. “This is the resident of Ponyville that We wish for thee to study. Art thou familiar with her?”
I opened the folder with my magic, and looked at its contents. I saw the pony’s name on the first page and her picture underneath. My eyes widened in surprise. “I--T-this must be a mistake.”
“What dost thou mean, Twilight Sparkle?” Her eyelids lowered as she stared down at me.
I stomped down on the papers. “You want me to study Cloud Kicker? Cloud Kicker, out of all ponies in Ponyville?”
Luna seemed undisturbed by my outburst, and she continued to stare down at me as though nothing was wrong. “Indeed, it is not a mistake. We picked her specifically for her special role within Ponyville’s social structure.”
“B-b-but…” My brain worked furiously to come up with a logical argument for what was wrong here. “You…Do you really want Cloud Kicker to be a representative of Ponyville, no, Equestrian society, Princess? S-she’s--uh--she’s a-a…a…that is…”
“Yes, Twilight Sparkle?” I don’t know how a pony can give the impression that they were smiling without moving their mouth, but Luna was somehow absolutely beaming at me. I was sure of it.
Ok, different route of attack then. “Look, I think there are plenty of ponies that would be much better for this study.” My brain churned out a list of names. “There’s Granny Smith, she helped colonize Ponyville and has lead a rich life here. I could do a great report with her.” Luna seemed unmoved as she continued to stare at me with no visible interest. “How about Applejack or Rarity? They are both respectable small business owners and each a holder of the Elements of Harmony.” Still no reaction. My tone became increasingly pleading. “There is Mayor Mare, uh, Filthy Rich, Ponyville’s richest pony. Cheerilee, the local schoolmare has had an interesting life.” Luna was not even dignifying my suggestions with a reaction. “There’s the Cutie Mark Crusaders, they sure are up to some wacky things.” Nothing.
I consider for a moment of suggesting Pinkie Pie. But the last time I had tried to research her it had ended with me digging a hole in the library basement’s floor, throwing all my research into the hole, filling the hole with concrete, and then placing a series of wards on the concrete as it dried. Some things were just not meant for ponykind to know. Good news was that at least studying Cloud Kicker should not involve the casual breaking of the laws of reality.
“Err, how about-" Luna raised a hoof to gesture for me to stop.
“We know what We desire in this matter Twilight Sparkle.” Luna stood up from her sitting position, and slowly walked over next to me. She may not have been as tall as Princess Celestia, but she was still easily taller than the biggest stallions I had seen, and cut an imposing figure. She jabbed at the papers. “Cloud Kicker is the pony we wish for thee to study. We had to agree to take on several particularly laborious and tedious royal court cases in order to obtain exclusive rights to thy services from Our sister. Is there some reason we are unaware that thou wouldst be incapable of completing this assignment?”
“Well no, of course not. It’s just-“
“Then what is thy problem Twilight Sparkle?” She lowered her head close enough to violate my personal space. “Dost thou overly object to Cloud Kicker’s lifestyle? Dost thou deny her unique role in society, and the need to record it for study for its greater relevance to Equestrian society and culture?”
It was looking like I was going to have no choice but to mare up on this one. I could not find a way out of this without directly turning Princess Luna down. It would be downright rude to try and go over Luna’s head and go to Princess Celestia, and it was unlikely to even work if Luna had indeed gotten the her sister’s permission. I was stuck unless I wanted to offend at least one of the royal princesses. Luna’s disapproving stare sealed the deal.
“I’ll do it,” I said with a resignation sigh.
“Very good.” She lifted her head out of my personal space and took a step back. Much to my relief. “Are there any questions thou wouldst ask of Us while we are here?”
If I was stuck doing this thing, I might as well do it right. I did not have to be thrilled with an assignment to do a good job. “What do you need to know for the report? Is there anything specific you want me to go into detail?”
Luna turned away from me and walked to a nearby window to look outside. “We wish for thee to find out everything thou canst about Cloud Kicker. A comprehensive, thorough, and invasive study on every aspect of her life. Leave nothing out, and We mean nothing. No piece of information is irrelevant for this study.” She turned her head to look at me. “Thou shalt research every aspect of her life, nature, daily activities, history, and relationships. No part of her is not to be prodded. No cavity unsearched.”
I hoped Luna did not know how what she said sounded given the context. Suddenly a thought came to me that I should have objected to earlier. “Isn’t Cloud Kicker going to object to me being so…invasive in her life? It sounds like you to want me to learn everything about her--even things she might not want everypony to look into, and I can’t think of a single pony that would not be offended by that at least a little.”
Luna turned towards me and waved in negation. “Cloud Kicker has already agreed to this study and its nature. We received the signed contract yesterday, and she has already received half the bits agreed upon with the signing.”
Wait, how long had Luna been planning on this?
“She has agreed to make herself available in any way thou wouldst ask. We expect thee to take full advantage of her offerings.”
I really wish she would stop with all the unintentional innuendos, because they were starting to make me a little uncomfortable. I was beginning to wonder if this was all some big prank, and I was going to have Princess Celestia and Cloud Kicker jump out of some improbably small place at any moment to laugh at me.
“We expect the best from Our sister’s favored student. We have also rearranged the spell matrix with thy familiar, and for the duration of your study of Cloud Kicker all of thy letters will be sent to Us.”
I rubbed my chin slowly. So for all intents and purposes, I was now reporting directly to Princess Luna instead of Princess Celestia? Grand. And I had not even been asked first. This was getting more suspicious by the minute.
After giving me a moment to think things over, Luna lifted her chin and grinned down at me. “Also if thou art inclined, thou may send Us thy friendship reports. Celestia has allowed Us to read a score of them, and We have found them more than worthy of our time.”
At least I had that going for me. I picked myself up from the floor so that I could directly face Luna. I looked the Princess in the eyes and nodded my head. “You can count on me, Princess Luna. I’ll show you exactly why I’m Princess Celestia’s most faithful student.” Even if I was not wild about this assignment I could still control my attitude towards it.
Luna gave a nod of satisfaction. “We look forward to thy report when it is finished. Do not be afraid to contact Us if thou should ever feel the need. Thou may treat Us as thou wouldst if we were Our sister for the interim of your work upon this report.” She placed a hoof on my shoulder. “We have every confidence that thou will write Us an outstanding report.”
She turned away and started to walk away and towards some of the lingering shadows in the room. “Goodnight to thee Twilight Sparkle. Oh, and one final thing; Thou art not to tell Cloud Kicker of Our involvement in this study.” With that she stepped into the shadows and disappeared.
I gave an involuntary shudder. I knew Princess Luna was a good pony, but her mercurial nature and personality quirks made it difficult to interact with her at times. Like the phases of the moon, she could go from bright and inviting to dark and cold without warning. It was easy to see why ponies a millennia ago had problems with her.
Also, why did she insist that I not tell Cloud Kicker of her involvement in this? Why add that in the end before I could ask any questions? I think she may have been playing with me at a few points, but that was impossible for me to say. In the end, it did not change the fact that my part in examining Cloud Kicker–of all ponies, was something I was not looking forward to. Even if the concept of the sociological study did interest me.
I breathed in and out slowly as I gathered my thoughts in order to focus on the task at hoof and put my mind to the task at hoof. I could do this. At the end of the day it was just like every other report I had ever done. This would not be the first report I had not been excited about, though there were only a hoofful of those. Less than a dozen really. A lot of academic topics did interest me. But that was all besides the point. There was no reason I couldn’t approach this study like any other; objectively, neutrally and with an analytical mind.
I retrieved some writing supplies and pulled down the books I would need. The task took a bit longer due to not having Spike around to help--I had long suspected his dragon hoarding instinct made him especially adept at remembering where things were and retrieving them. I managed in any event, and I unrolled a scroll and prepped a quill to begin making a list of how I was going to approach this study. It looked like this was going to be a longer night then I had originally planned.
At the end of the day this was a straightforward sociology report. Even if its subject was … unconventional. How difficult could this be? I mean really?
Chapter 3: The Background Pony Every Pony Should Know
A couple of cups of coffee and a bemoaned complaint from Spike about my snappish early morning attitude later, and I was out in the field with the intent of doing my research. Princess Luna’s papers contained some basic bibliographical information and some possible avenues of research I had every intention of going down, but for this specific case I had decided to gather some empirical evidence before I formed (more of) a biased opinion on the subject of my study.
I grabbed a pencil, a notebook, my saddlebags and binoculars, and put on my pith helmet. The former objects were of course necessary for observation and note taking, while the latter one put me into the right frame of mind and was therefore also necessary. Unfortunately, it was too hot outside to comfortably wear the jacket.
My supplies in hoof, I concentrated on the spell I had studied during the previous night. I felt the spell come over me and reached out with my magical senses to make sure that it was sound. Satisfied with that the spell was working, I walked out into the streets of Ponyville, and began my search. Normally when I traveled around town I would be regularly greeted, given a friendly wave or given some generic comment or question like what the weather was supposed to be like today. It was certainly much friendlier in Ponyville then the oftentimes snobbish attitudes of the ponies of Canterlot. But today I passed by the ponies in the street without them so much as giving me a glance.
Exactly as planned. As every scientifically minded pony knows, any subject that knew it was under observation would change its behavior. Therefore, in order to gather untainted data about a subject’s behaviors it was necessary to observe it without its knowledge. Hence the Background Pony spell I currently had up. I had quickly dismissed using an Invisibility spell for a number of reasons. For starters it was an exhausting spell to maintain for long periods of time. In addition to that, coverage was less than perfect, meaning that I would still be a little visible as light refracted off of me, distorting anything behind me. There was also the issue that ponies were going to be wondering what exactly you were up to if they did notice you. Walking around invisibly was not exactly the type of thing an honest pony normally did.
But the Background Pony spell avoided most of those problems simply by making its subject completely un-notable, uninteresting, and unimportant to the ponies around her. Even if a pony accidently bumped into you, they were not likely to give you much more than a half-hearted apology before going on with their life. That said; the spell was not perfect. It still took some energy to maintain, and it did not give me license to act however I wanted in public. For instance, if I did something like stand on a soapbox and started lecturing everypony while throwing around magical fireworks the spell was unlikely to hold together and keep me unnoticed. But for remaining anonymous in a crowd of ponies on a normal sunny day, it was perfect.
I looked up at the clouds to try and spot my research subject. I pulled out my binoculars when I spotted a weather pony up in the sky, but was repeatedly disappointed when I confirmed that I was looking at the wrong pony. I had considered simply asking Rainbow Dash where Cloud Kicker would be working today, but that had a couple complications. I had simply woken up too late today due to my late night studying to catch her during the morning mustering of the first shift weather pegasi. After that point she could be anywhere in or over town. Best I could hope for was to find her filing paperwork in her office, and given how much she liked to do paperwork, that would be an occurrence of pure luck on my part. There was also the simple fact that she could end up telling Cloud Kicker what I was up to. Dash’s loyalty did extend to everypony that she cared about after all, and she was going to stand against the pony that seemed to be doing the most offensive thing. Not to say that there was anything wrong with what I was doing. I was advancing science after all, but Dash might not see it that way.
Persistence won out in the end, and I spotted Cloud Kicker talking to a white coated, pink-and-green maned pegasus by the name of Blossomforth. I knew her from her periodic visits to the library to pick up one book or another. She struck me as a pretty smart pony and we had on occasion talked about the books she had checked out, and offered reading suggestions to one another. Otherwise I did not know a whole lot about her.
But there she was, Nimbus Calcitrus. In her natural environment of cloud pushing. Exactly what I wanted.
I slouched behind a bush, and I concentrated on the next spell I wanted to use. I took the simple Eavesdrop and began to reshape it, adapting it from a spell that would only work for a relatively short distance to one that would allow me to concentrate and hear conversations from a much greater distance than the original parameters of the spell allowed. I looked through my binoculars and directed my considerably enhanced hearing towards the pair of pegasi sitting on a cloud.
Cloud Kicker was talking excitedly to Blossomforth when I finally got the range and distance down. “-When she touc-“ I got some nasty feedback from the spell but I quickly readjusted it. “-with her wacky hand spell would be really weird, but it really hit the spot. Let me tell you, a lyre is not all she can play with her magic.” Blossomforth looked terribly embarrassed as her cheeks reddened, and she scrunched her shoulders up as she avoided eye contact with Cloud Kicker.
Ok, maybe I was coming into the middle of a conversation and I was simply misinterpreting whatever Cloud Kicker was saying. I had only met the mare twice thus far, and I did not want those two experiences tainting my analysis of the situation. No reason not to give her the benefit of the doubt. Surely she must talk about things other than intercourse, right?
“Plus it was handy for the cleanup. Bon-Bon did a pretty admirable job licking up the chocolate during all the excitement, but it wasn’t easy when we had done our level best getting it everywhere.” Cloud Kicker licked her lips and hummed. “Now there was a taste I won’t soon be forgetting.”
Blossomforth’s hoof met her face and she grunted in irritation. “Please don’t tell me you intentionally just used a pun that bad?”
Cloud Kicker wrapped a leg around Blossomforth’s shoulders to press their bodies together side by side, and she raised a hoof to the sky. “Blossom, we live in a world where our town is named Ponyville, and two of ponykind’s major cities are called Manehatten and Fillydelphia. Let’s face it, Blossom: we are a species genetically predispositioned towards making bad puns. Might as well embrace that fact and ride the wave of hilariously bad pun-age.”
Blossomforth rolled her eyes and let out a frustrated sigh. “You just don’t want to admit that you can’t come up with any good jokes that don’t involve m-m-m-“
Cloud Kicker pumped a hoof in encouragement. “Come on Blossom! Say it! I believe in you!”
“M-m-mating,” Blossomforth finally managed to splutter out.
Cloud Kicker laughed and gave Blossomforth an overly friendly series of pats on the back that nearly sent her sprawling on the cloud. “See, at this rate we might be able to get you to say words like ‘sex’ and ‘intercourse’ by the end of next month if we work hard enough at it. We are making progress my friend.”
Blossomforth’s eyebrows scrunched up in irritation. “I can say those words just fine. I just don’t need to.”
“Good, good, we are doing a great job of building up your confidence already.” Cloud Kicker leaned in her head to be right next to Blossomforth’s so that she could whisper. “At this rate we might even get you to the point where you can kiss another pony. Kissy, kissy, kissy.” She made a series of kissing noises right next to Blossomforth’s face before putting her hoof in Cloud Kicker’s face, and pushed her back to a distance that was not violating her air space. Looking at her face at that moment, it would have been difficult to tell that her coat was a natural white color, and she scowled at Cloud Kicker as she tried to keep her wings from extending.
I was really starting to feel bad for Blossomforth now. How she could stand to be around that perverse mare was beyond me. The only thing I could think of was that she was forced to work with her due to both of them being assistant weather managers. Not like anypony could really stand Cloud Kicker for a considerable length of time if they did not have to, right? I knew I was only going to deal with her because of professional reasons.
Blossomforth let out a long sigh. “Once again I ask: why are we friends?”
Cloud Kicker had friends? Or at least a friend. One that possibly did not involve sex? I made a note to remind myself to interview Blossomforth before this was all over.
Cloud Kicker grinned at her beleaguered friend. “Because I bring fun and excitement into your life, Blossom. If it wasn’t for me, I’d worry that you would be too embarrassed to come outside and actually talk with other ponies, much less get out and have some fun.”
Blossomforth looked away from Cloud Kicker with a scowl. “I can do those things just fine. I’m not some kind of shut-in you know.”
“But you haven’t had any real fun yet Blossom.” She emphasized this by standing up and shaking her flank in the air. “You should have seen me when I was banging around with Harpflank and Sweets. That was definitely the most fun I have had in awhile. Those two know each other inside and out, and they aren’t afraid to make a guest feel welcome.” She leaned in again to Blossomforth. “You know, I bet I could swing it with them to make a quadsome if you are interested.”
Blossomforth fumbled between stuttering and squeaking noises. Cloud Kicker let out another hearty laugh before sitting down opposite of Blossomforth. “Oh come on now, you know I’m just jok-“
“HIYA TWILIGHT! WHATCHA DOING?”
The world became nothing but noise and pain. It was as though Princess Luna herself had come down and had decided to deafen me for some terrible transgression. I fell to the ground, flattened my ears, and put my hoofs over them to try and block out the overwhelming sound. I desperately tried to summon the will and concentration to end the Eavesdrop spell. The terrible ringing in my ears and splotches of lights over my vision taught me exactly why the Eavesdrop spell had the built-in limited range and power that it did. The reason was pain.
“WHY’RE YOU ON THE GROUND?! IS SOMETHING WRONG!?”
Something was most definitely the wrong as I was once again battered by a cacophony of sound. My mind scrambled to try to shove away all sensations, and concentrate at what was most important. Stopping the source of the pain. I fumbled to grasp at the Eavesdrop spell before I was knocked into unconsciousness.
“TWILIGHT, LISTEN TO ME, DO YOU NEED HELP!? WHAT CAN I DO!? QUICK! SOMepony call for help!”
I finally unraveled the spell that had so treacherously tried to kill me. I heard screaming slowly dying. Based on how raw my throat felt, I think I knew who it belonged to. I’m not quite sure how long I lied there as I fought through the pain that all too slowly ebbed from my body. I slowly opened my eyes and my vision slowly focused on the pink blur in front of me.
I quickly recognized that it was Pinkie Pie, once there was only three of her. She was busily moving her mouth, but the ringing in my ears made it impossible to determine what she was saying. I motioned with my hoof for her to stop, and her head tilted in concern. I placed my forelegs over my eyes and ears as I tried to gather myself and wait for the pain to become something that did not feel immediately life-threatening. My brain started to process information once the entirety of my being was not complaining about how much sound hurts when magically amplified.
Ugh, Pinkie Pie, of course. The one pony that the stupid Background Pony spell did not seem to work on for some reason. I had tried using it while learning about her Pinkie Sense. All that had gotten me was having a flower pot, anvil, carriage, and piano getting dropped on my head, and the admission that she had been playing with me all day. Stupid reality-breaking pink party pony. Did she not understand the value of science? Or that the laws of reality should also apply to her?
I began to hear sounds that were not painful ringing.
“-lying on the ground like she was in pain. I was so scared that something was wrong with Twilight, and I still am, and she is still lying there in pain, and she motioned for me to stop talking, but I didn’t know what to do without talking, and I can’t ask help from other ponies without talking, and because I didn’t know what to do I-“
Another voice finally stopped the painful ramblings before my head cracked like an egg. Unfortunately, the new voice struck like a hammer on an anvil. “PINKIE! Stop, please, just stop. I get it. Let me help.” I peeked out from my legs to see Rainbow Dash hovering next to Pinkie. Dash landed on the ground and walked over to stand next to me. She leaned down and placed a hoof gingerly on my shoulders. “Hey Twilight, are you ok?” She asked softly.
I nodded weakly. I slowly pulled my legs off my head and greeted the assault of light and sound that came from lowering my defenses. I decided it would be best to keep my eyes tightly shut, and my ears down for the moment
Dash lied down next to me, and she slowly rubbed my back to comfort me. “Do you need to go to the hospital? You look like you are in bad shape.”
“N-no. No.” I managed to croak out. “That won’t be necessary,”
Dash looked at me with concern. “You sure, Twilight? Come on, let me take you to the hospital. You look like Tartarus.”
“No, i-it’s ok-kay.” I slowly worked my way to my hooves with Dash’s support. Besides the splitting migraine I was feeling, everything else seemed to be working properly. The biggest thing I was worried about, my hearing, seemed to be working fine now. If you discounted the painful ringing I was hearing anyways. Thank Celestia. I looked at Dash and tried to smile for her. “I was just practicing a spell that improved hearing, and well…Pinkie is loud.”
“It’s true, the Cakes are always having to get on me to be quiet so that I don’t make the foals cranky and cry,” Pinkie said with far more excitement than I thought the occasion warranted. I swear, it was like some fundamental force in the universe was trying to torture me for laughs. A glare from Dash elicited a half-hearted giggle from Pinkie, but she seemed to take the hint.
I worked through my migraine to touch the Background Pony spell and reinforced its power. Screaming and making a scene had not helped towards its strength. It would not do anything for a pair of ponies like Pinkie and Dash who had already noticed and acknowledged me, but it should have stunted the progress of the slowly growing circle of concerned ponies around us. I did not need to make a scene because of a misapplied spell.
Dash kept me from stumbling back down to the ground as I rubbed my head with a hoof. “If you aren’t going to the hospital, at least let us take you to Sugarcube Corner,” she said. “It’s just down the block from here.”
Pinkie nodded with her usually bubbly excitement. “Yea, I can get you something to eat and drink so you can feel better.”
I had the feeling they were not just going to let me go on my merry way alone. The occasional lurches of the ground didn’t particularly make me want to go at it alone anyways. I hated it when the ground refused to remain perfectly horizontal. “Yeah, that sounds good. I think I just need a little bit of time for the ringing to stop.”
I let out a groan. I was less than a full day into this study, and it was already causing me an inordinate amount of pain.
***
Rainbow Dash and I had managed to convince the Life Flight Crew that showed up that I did not need to go the hospital, despite collapsing in the street. My insistence that all I needed was some sit down time and rest eventually convinced them to leave without me. Admittedly, being able to take some time at the Sugarcube Corner to relax did me some good. Sipping on a nice cool milkshake while laying my head on the cool surface of the table had helped. My headache had been downgraded from an 8.5 on the Twilight Sparkle Cerebral Pain Scale to something between a 4.5 and 5. The Background Pony spell also helped to give me some much needed peace and quiet as I recovered.
But the time came for me to get back to work. I dropped off the necessary bits for the drink and thanked Pinkie for her help. She made me Pinkie Promise that I really was alright before leaving the diner/bakery, even if it was her sudden screaming into my ear that caused my whole world to be filled with nothing but pain to begin with. Chewing her out or being mad at her would not have done anything but hurt her feelings, and she really had not known any better. Sometimes you make sacrifices for friendship. I would know, I had written a report about it.
I did eventually manage to find Cloud Kicker again during her cloud pushing duties. Cloud Kicker did admittedly stick to her job pushing clouds and telling other ponies to do the same most of the day. Though if I had to guess, she was probably hitting on all her fellow cloud pushers. I can’t imagine a pony like her would be talking to them about anything else.
I shook my head in annoyance with myself. There I was letting my previous bad experiences with Cloud Kicker taint what was supposed to be unbiased research. Objectively analysing the situation, she probably wouldn’t have gotten promoted to assistant manager if she was doing a terrible job as a weather pony, and sexual harassment tended to preempt doing a good job at work. Dash was certainly loyal to her friends, but loyalty was a two way street. You needed to give in order to receive, and I did not see Dash promoting somepony just because she was buddy-buddy with them.
Unfortunately, I could not actually monitor what she was saying due to not using the Eavesdrop spell, and I was not going to be using it after the previous disaster. At least I was getting some notes about her managerial style. Despite being new to the position she seemed to know how to order ponies around. From what I had read, pegasi could be a hard bunch to order around if you did not have their respect.
The first shift for the weather service came to an end, and Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth met up again in the town square. I hung back a short distance from the two of them and tried to do nothing notable. Luckily, my Background Pony spell seemed to be working just fine.
Blossomforth stretched her back and wings out with a series of pops. Cloud Kicker took a moment to enjoy the view, of course. “So, long day of pushing clouds,” Blossomforth said. “Want to do something now that we’re done for the day?”
Cloud Kicker whipped her tail as she turned to face Blossomforth. “Oh, I know what I’d like to do, but past attempts to make it happen have always resulted in poor old me being shot down.”
Blossomforth looked down and slowly pawed at the ground a couple of time. “Is there something else we could do?”
I was beginning to wonder if Cloud Kicker was in the middle of the process of beating down Blossomforth into being a second Fluttershy. Cloud Kicker had been relentless in embarrassing Blossomforth and doing her best to reduce her to a stuttering wreck.
Cloud Kicker hummed as she looked around. Her eyes seemed to brighten, and her head snapped back to facing Blossomforth. “I know, let’s head to the Sun’s Flank for something to eat and drink.”
Blossomforth frowned at the suggestion. “There again? You know that place me uncomfortable because it’s-“
“Nuh-uh-uh,” said Cloud Kicker as she shook her hoof at Blossomforth. “You can’t tell me you don’t like the filly cheese hay they have there. Besides, I have something fun planned.”
Blossomforth narrowed her eyes with suspicion. “This isn’t like the last time where you--’
“Nope nope,” said Cloud Kicker with a shake of her head. “No plans to embarrass you this night. You could probably use a break after what happened at the mud pit during the charity when I--”
“We both agreed to never speak of that again!” Blossomforth shouted with a lot more anger than I thought was in the pegasus.
Cloud Kicker put both of her hooves up in surrender. “Hey, hey, calm down there Blossom. Let’s just go to the tavern and relax for the evening.” She made a crossing motion of her heart. “I promise I have no plan to embarrass you tonight.”
Blossomforth stared levelly at Cloud Kicker. “And no spontaneous plans to embarrass me?”
“You have my word.” Cloud Kicker offered a hoof. “I promise I do not and will not have any plans to embarrass you. Shake?” Blossomforth narrowed her eyes at the hoof, but tentatively shook it in the end.
With their plans settled, the two of them walked down a street. I followed them until they reached an alley. From there I looked down the alley to see a glowing sign with a sunburst and two squiggly running vertically on either side of the sunburst. The sign was directly above a staircase that lead down into the basement of one of the buildings lining the alley. Getting closer, I saw the script that announced the establishment as The Sun’s Flank. The reference escaped me. The sun did not have a flank. As everypony knew, the sun is a sphere of plasma and gas, and a sphere simply did not have a flank. Already this place was crossing me.
I was reluctant to enter the Sun’s Flank, but the simple fact that this was quite possibly my best chance to watch Cloud Kicker socialize before I contacted her directly, and it would likely be an invaluable research point that could not be replicated. Besides, it was just a bar, and no one would likely notice me thanks to my spell.
I descended the stairs, and took in the sights around me to get an idea of what it was about this place that would attract Cloud Kicker. Various columns held up the room of the basement bar, and round tables were spaced periodically around the room. Booths lined the walls, and each had a lamp over them to provide a low level of light. The furniture seemed to be made of dark wood, and the place smelled of hickory. A grey mare with a wine glass cutie mark stood behind the bar, somehow managing to keep pace with the slew of orders. The place felt--casual, laid back.
Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth had already sat down at one of the tables and were talking with a waitress about their orders.
Cloud Kicker tapped her menu. “Could you get my friend and I some hard lemonade?” She grinned knowingly at Blossomforth.
Blossomforth narrowed her eyes in a glare at her supposed friend. “Too soon.” She turned to the waitress. “I’ll just have some water.”
I walked over to a table near the two of them and dropped my saddlebags onto the floor while pulling out my pencil and notebook. I sat down with the intent of eavesdropping on them. Just…not with the spell.
Cloud Kicker seemed busy humming a tune and tapping her hoof on the table. Blossomforth seemed to be doing her best to bury herself in her menu as she glanced around the room nervously. I began to wonder what had Blossomforth so on edge. I looked around the room to see if anything was odd. There seemed to be a lot of mares standing around, talking, drinking and eating. In fact, I didn’t see a single stallion in the entire bar. That struck me as odd. It wasn’t like I saw a ‘no stallions’ sign outside--I was pretty sure that would probably be illegal anyways.
I continued scanning the room as the pieces of the puzzle fit together. I noticed mares holding hooves in the dimmed lighting of the bar. A couple at the table next to me nuzzling each other while quiet music played in the background. One mare was giving another a cheesy one liner at the bar. There were more than one pair of mares kissing in the corners and along the walls of the tavern…
Endless Night! I was in a fillyfooler bar and didn’t even realize it! I slinked deeper into my seat as I fought down the urge to do something that would break my spell. I suddenly had the irrational feeling of finding myself in a wolf den.
How in Equestria had I missed something as obvious as this? It was probably because of incidents like these that my friends insisted that I get out more. I looked back at Cloud Kicker in an attempt to get my mind back to the task at hoof rather than blindly panicking just because an unexpected fact had sprung on me. Cloud Kicker seemed to be smiling to herself for some reason, and Blossomforth was trying her best at trying to disappear into her menu.
A white coated, rose maned pony walked up to their table, and propped her front two knees onto the table. “Hey Cloud Kicker, haven’t seen you around lately. Looking for some fun tonight?”
“Sorry, I have other plans right now Rose.” Cloud Kicker leaned towards Roseluck and spoke in a sultry tone. “But I wouldn’t mind taking a rain check for later.” She gave her a sly wink.
“Hm, too bad then.” Rose turned to look at the slightly quivering Blossomforth. “How about your cute friend, then?” She took a hoof and slowly forced Blossomforth’s menu flat with the table. Blossomforth was doing her best not to make eye contact with the pony now eying her up.
Cloud Kicker gave her friend a predatory smile. “Yeah, what about my cute friend?” She playfully nudged Blossomforth.
Blossomforth tried to make herself as small possible as she threatened to disappear under her table. “NothankyouI’mnotinterested,” she managed to squeak out.
Roseluck snorted as she suppressed a laugh. “Cloud Kicker, I’m surprised you can have a friend this bashful.”
“You know me Roseluck, I like to help the helpless.” The both of them let out a laugh while Blossomforth picked her menu back up to hide herself. “She’s a work in progress. I finally got her to say ‘mate’ earlier. I’m holding onto the hope that I can get her to say ‘sex’ in a couple of weeks.”
Roseluck got off of the table and shrugged. “If you need any help, you know where to find me.”
“I do like the taste of your roses,” said Cloud Kicker.
Roseluck placed a hoof over her muzzle and gave a snorted laugh. “Oh, stop you flirt. You need to be careful or you’re going to give some poor mare the wrong ideas someday.”
Cloud Kicker raised her hooves up in a shrug. “Nah, I don’t leave broken hearts behind. Everypony knows I’m not into the whole long-term romance thing. They know what they’re getting into when I go up and say, ‘Let’s go back to my place. We’ll bang, OK?’”
“If you say so. See you both later then.” Rose gave Cloud Kicker a wink and walked off to another part of the bar.
Cloud Kicker turned to Blossomforth and gave her a couple of jabs to the ribs. “Come on Blossom. That was your perfect chance for some banging right there. It’s hard to enjoy yourself from the fetal position--well unless you are into that type of thing.”
Her white coat made it impossible to hide her blushing. “And I thought we agreed that you wouldn’t be embarrassing me tonight?”
Cloud Kicker put her hooves over her heart and put on a fake look of shock on her face. “Blossom, you wound me. You would suggest I would break a promise so causally? I was just trying to get you a date--it’s your fault you didn’t jump at the opening I made for you.”
Blossomforth glowered at Cloud Kicker. “You’re walking a fine line.”
“What can I say,” said Cloud Kicker, “I like to live life on the edge. A sexy edge filled with lots of banging.” Blossomforth merely groaned at Cloud Kicker as the waitress dropped off two plate of cheese hay.
Cloud Kicker took a bite out of her meal and looked up at Blossomforth while chewing. “Hey Blossom, have I told you about my latest banging session?”
Blossomforth rolled her eyes at Cloud Kicker. “I think you already told me about Lyra and Bon-Bon earlier today during our break.”
“No, that was the other day,” said Cloud Kicker. She finished chewing and swallowed. “My latest banging partner is somepony different.”
Blossomforth was rolling her eyes so much I was beginning to worry they would fall out. “How you keep from catching something or getting knocked up I will never know.”
That was a question I had wondered about myself.
“Protection, Blossom, protection,” Cloud Kicker said with way more enthusiasm than a mare should have for a topic that caused school fillies and colts no small amount of blushing. “Protection is a wonderful thing. Wear the right gear, make sure to take the right potions, and make sure to stay on top of your doctor visits to make sure everything is clear, and consequence-free banging is right around the corner.”
Blossomforth seemed to think her best course of action at this point was to fill her mouth with some cheesy hay and munch on it. She did not even even bother to dignify Cloud Kicker with a reaction.
Cloud Kicker took Blossomforth’s silence as her opportunity to lean over the table to get closer to her. “I just banged the town librarian.”
What!?
Blossomforth nearly choked on her food, and was forced to deposit some of her hay back on her plate. “What,” she let out a quick cough, “Twilight Sparkle? You b-m-m-mated with her?”
“Hay yeah!” Cloud Kicker exclaimed without a hint of shame over slandering my good name. “And let me tell you, she is a goddess in the sack. Not that we actually spent much time in the sack. Things get pretty wild when your banging partner can teleport at will.”
Lies! Lies! All of it lies! I was tempted to teleport right over there and give her a piece of my mind. It was pretty hard to keep my cool when she was sitting right there and lying about engaging in intercourse with me. I reminded myself of the study and the need to not taint the data I was collecting by directly intervening in the conversation I was being assaulted with.
“B-b-b-but your rules!” Blossomforth said in flabbergastion. She leaned in and tried to speak more quietly. “The boss, what will she do when she finds out? You could get in so much trouble!”
“Don’t worry, it doesn’t technically count against my rule if she comes hitting on me first,” she said dismissively. “A pony like Twilight can’t help but succumb to a pony with irresistible charm like me. The boss can’t say anything if she is begging for the banging.”
Princess Celestia had taught me a lot of techniques for controlling my emotions and anger so that I would always be in control of my magic. I was seeing exactly how many of them I could do simultaneously. Twelve, as it turned out.
Cloud Kicker looked like a pony who had found a pot of gold. “Let me tell you, Twilight gave me some of the wildest banging I have ever had. We banged our way all over that library.” She leaned towards Blossomforth with a smile. “You want to know the nice thing about banging a pony as well read as Twilight? Oh, she has all sorts of knowledge on how to please a pony. Techniques, positions, spells, you name it.”
I was considering quite a few things I could do to one Ms. Slander Cloud Kicker to the Moon right this moment.
Blossomforth's eyes were wide and her was mouth half agape. Whether from shock or horror I could not tell. All I could feel was a building rage that threatened to be unleashed on the world.
Cloud Kicker clopped her hooves on the table in excitement. “Not that I was doing badly myself. I had to bring my A game, and use every bit of experience I'd accumulated over years of banging, but in the end I managed to pin down and really bang that hot piece of adorkable plot.”
I will not blast this mare. I will not turn this mare into a house plant. I will not throw this mare into the pit of tartarus. I will not shoot this mare to a celestial body in space...
“When she finally caught her breath after our banging, she said that she was so pleased with me that next time she was going to send a letter to Princess Celestia so we could have an epic threesome.”
“I DID NOT!” I said as I stood and slammed my hoofs down on my table. Everypony turned towards me. The looks on their faces were a range of emotions going from surprise, fear, confusion and horror. I was on fire with rage. I knew this because I could smell the smoke. I stared down at Cloud Kicker and gave everypony a chance to absorb what was about to happen. It was only fair I give Cloud Kicker a chance to explain herself before I unleashed my expansive imagination and magic on her. She was looking back at me and … smiling?
“Hey, Twilight. I was wondering when you would stop being all embarrassed and join us for a talk.” Cloud Kicker waved at me in a friendly manner, as though nothing in the world was wrong. Like she did not have the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria breathing down her neck, ready to bring down a righteous vengeance down on her head. She pointed a hoof at an empty seat at their table. “Come on, sit with us, you’ve been following us all day anyways.”
My rage began to evaporate under a tidal wave of confusion. “You knew? This entire time you knew I was following you around?” The fact I was also the center of attention of a room full of mares because of my outburst was also starting to weigh down on me with embarrassment.
Cloud Kicker laughed heartily. “Let me guess, the Background Pony spell right? Saw that one back at West Hoof, our instructors told us it was a favorite of unicorn spies. I also had a unicorn banging buddy of mine back at school who learned it. Lead to us getting away with some pretty exciting public excursions.”
Some little part of my academic mind died of shame upon learning that Cloud Kicker had used a spell I had been using for research as just another tool to have intercourse.
Blossomforth’s mouth was agape as she looked back and forth between Cloud Kicker and me. Cloud Kicker cheerfully continued to explain why my little plan to gather untainted empirical evidence had been a bust. “It was a little hard not to notice you when you were lying on the ground screaming earlier. I know from personal experience that a whole lot of hollering and screaming doesn’t do you any favors for not getting noticed. Got a demerit or two while banging in the center lawn of campus for that reason. But anyways, you gave us cloud pushers quite the fright. Rainbow Dash yelled at Blossom and I to go get an ambulance even if we had to personally throw in a couple of paramedics into a Life Flight, strap ourselves in, and fly the cart to you ourselves.”
Her knowing grin as she spoke contributed to my growing bewilderment. “Given you had the whole explorer outfit going on and the fact I had signed that contract earlier for you to study me, it wasn’t hard to figure out what you were up to. Shame for you, it seems that you didn’t just dispel and recast after that incident. The spell doesn’t work so well when you’ve already been spotted, and somepony is actively looking for you. Also from personal experience.”
Where did she get off knowing spellcraft? I knew what I was doing with my own spells, thank you very much. She had been playing with me, this entire time? My brain was hurriedly processing away, but none of it was resulting in getting my mouth to work.
Cloud Kicker continued to smile as though everything was right with the world. “Oh don’t worry, it’s not like any spell was going to keep me from noticing a cute piece of librarian flank like you anyways, Duchess.”
My right ear twitched in irritation. “Please don’t call me that.”
“Wait, she’s been following us all day, and you didn’t tell me?” It looked like Blossomforth had decided to re-enter the field after being sidelined due to linear cross-event confusion.
Cloud Kicker placed a hoof on Blossomforth’s shoulder. “Fundamental fact about secrets Blossom: the more ponies that know a secret, the more likely it is going to stop being a secret. I just couldn’t risk losing this opportunity to have this much fun by spilling the beans to you.”
Blossomforth looked down at the ground. “You could have tried to trust me, you know.”
“Don’t worry about it Blossom. You’re still my BFF at the end of the day.” That caused Blossomforth to look down at the ground all the harder.
Cloud Kicker removed her hoof from Blossomforth’s shoulder and turned back to me. “You should see the look on your face, Duchess. But really, if you wanted to bang you just had to say so--no need to beat around the bush and stalk me all day. Unless you wanted to do some roleplaying as foreplay.” She raised her eyebrows a couple of times suggestively. “Because I’m all for that type of thing to help spice up the banging. I bet a hot nerd like you would know all sorts of things about roleplaying. Yeah, I’m a bard... I can Perform all night. Let me take 20 and I’ll prove it to you.”
I growled in irritation at Cloud Kicker. “This isn’t funny. Why do you think it is a good thing to embarrass me in front of everypony?”
“What?” Cloud Kicker point a hoof at Blossomforth. “I had to keep my promise to Blossom to not embarrass her. After all, if you break a promise to a friend you stand to lose them--”
“FOREVER!” Pinkie Pie said as she jumped out of one of my saddle bags.
I flinched away from Pinkie in surprise. “I-what… ah… my bag… too small… how… when… why…” That’s what the breaking of my brain sounds like when Pinkie finally mocks the laws of physics one too many times.
It perhaps said something about how crazy the ponies in Ponyville were when they were by this point starting to go back to food, talking, and other activities that I shall not go into details on. Though Cloud Kicker, Blossomforth and I stared at Pinkie as she smiled happily to herself.
My brain finally reset itself, and I was capable of coherent speech again. “Pinkie, what in the world were you doing in my bag?” Better yet, how in Equestria did I not notice I was carrying around an earth pony my own size around? Assuming we were even working anywhere within the realm of reality anymore. I was beginning to wonder if the whole universe was against me now.
“To tell everypony about the dangers of losing a friend fffffooooorrrrrreeeeeeevvvvvveeeerrrrrrr, obviously,” Pinkie said while giving an excited hop. Ask a stupid question, get an inane answer. I do not know why I even bothered with trying to get answers that made sense from my pink party friend.
“Also, you really need to get your saddlebags cleaned Twilight. When’s the last time you got them washed? Whoowee.” She waved a hoof past her nostrils in a stinking motion. “Hey, you going to finish that filly cheese hay,” she asked while pointing at Blossomforth’s plate. Blossomforth slowly pushed the plate towards Pinkie. No doubt worried what would happen should she fail to placate the reality defying pink party pony that had suddenly appeared in our midsts. Pinkie went at the hay with gusto.
All of us watched Pinkie Pie enjoy Blossomforth’s meal. None of us sure how to proceed at this awkward juncture.
“So, anypony want to bang tonight?” said Cloud Kicker. “Anypony at all?”
“No,” I snapped immediately.
“No.” Blossomforth did her best to stare a hole in the floor.
“Nopey,” Pinkie said between bites, “already got a marefriend.”
Cloud Kicker rolled her eyes, lowered her ears and sighed. “Oh, who am I kidding? You’re all technically on my unbangable list anyways.”
Looks like we were all going home disappointed this night. Well, except for Pinkie. She seemed to be quite happy with her free meal of cheese hay, and with getting off her own friendship message about friends and secrets. But she made a life out of being an exception.
Chapter 4: The Infuriating Study of a Winning Pony
My quill scratched furiously on the parchment in front of me. With a final stroke I finished up my latest list and I put down the quill. The back of my head throbbed dully as I thought about the previous day, and the endless series of painful and humiliating experiences it had brought me. My study of Cloud Kicker had not gotten off to a promising start: my attempts to covertly watch the mare had resulted in Pinkie nearly blowing out my eardrums when her voice had been amplified to deafening levels by my Eavesdrop spell. Thanks to Pinkie blowing my cover when she had reduced me to a screaming mess on the ground, Cloud Kicker had seen through my Background Pony spell and had taken full advantage of that opportunity to humiliate me by pulling my leg and claiming that I had … done things with her. Things I would never do with her. Thinking about yesterday made me want to go back to bed, pull the covers over my head, and just sleep the day away.
But I wasn’t Princess Celestia’s favored student because I gave up easily. My friends and I had defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord within a year of each other, and I was not going to let the study of Ponyville’s most promiscuous mare be the moment I throw in the towel. Even if she did constantly irritate me to no end. Sure, round one of my studies had not gone my way, but I had still gained some important information about Cloud Kicker. Besides, I was far from the bottom of my bag of research methods and resources. The play had only gotten to the end of act one as far as I was concerned.
I trotted downstairs with my list of today’s goals in hoof. “Spike!” I called out. “Where are you?”
I saw Spike walk out of the kitchen wearing an apron and carrying a soap sud covered dish brush. He narrowed his eyes at me. “What is it Twilight? I’m in the middle of cleaning here.”
“I’m going out to conduct some research. I’ll probably pick up some groceries while I’m out, do we need anything?” I looked outside and saw the foreboding grey clouds the weather pegasi were setting up. It looked like they were going to be on time for the scheduled storm later this evening. I grabbed my bags with my telekinesis, looking inside to make sure my notepad, pencil, bits bag, other minor odds and ends, and no pink ponies were inside.
“Yeah, we could use some salt, and I would like to have some carrots, onions, and beans for soup later.” After giving his verbal grocery list to me Spike crossed his arms in irritation. “Are you gonna be out all day again?”
I pulled my head out of my bag and looked at Spike. “There is a good chance I’ll be out most of the day doing some research. Why, is there a problem? I should still be able to pick up what you need for the soup.”
“Just weird is all,” Spike said as he tapped his brush on his shoulder. “You normally do most of your research here in the library.”
I had thus far avoided disclosing the full breadth of my research to Spike. I was afraid of the types of questions he would inevitably ask. No doubt they would lead to far more awkward questions I did not want to answer at this point. The types of questions that would result in me summoning up a series of very precise charts on pony and dragon physiology I had hidden away in a pocket dimension, and me recalling a very specific, carefully prepared, and innocence-destroying lecture. Spike was only a baby dragon, and there were some topics I did not think he was ready for. I ignored the fact that I had thrown said baby dragon at a god of chaos in a moment of frustration and desperation. I had good reasons for doing that.
“Is there something you wanna talk about,Twilight?” asked Spike. He gave me a worried frown. “You’ve been a bit out of it since Luna visited the other night.”
“What? No, everything’s fine.” I tried to avoid eye contact by putting on my saddlebags. I did not particularly trust my ability to lie to the dragon that I had effectively raised for much of his life. He knew me better than most ponies. It was best for me to keep everything as vague and nondescript as possible.
Spike perked up suddenly. “Hey! How about I join you for going into town? Being cooped up in the library all day is starting to drive me bonkers.”
Images of Cloud Kicker hitting on me while Spike was on my back flashed before my eyes. “No!” My answer had been too quick and panicked to seem natural. Time to recover. “I need you to watch the library while I’m gone. Somepony needs to keep the library open for the public and allow ponies to check out books.”
Spike placed his hands on his hips. “That hasn’t stopped you from closing the library in the past, Twilight.”
Curse my independent schooling of Spike, he was starting to get a good grip on the whole logic thing. I decided to try something else. “Look, what I’m researching isn’t really interesting, and would just bore you. Besides, I’m not going to be shopping around town for very long anyways.”
He frowned and bit his lip. “Are you sure everything is alright? I heard about how you collapsed in the street yesterday, and you were a wreck when you finally got home last night.” He wrung his claws before speaking again. “You can tell me about stuff, you know.”
I hadn’t looked that bad, had I? “It’s just that a new spell which didn’t work as I expected. That’s all. I got a bit of magical backlash, but I’m perfectly fine now.” Entirely true, I had only left out huge pieces of information. “You’re worrying too much.”
“But--”
“Spike,” I put my hoof up to cut him off. “I need you to watch the library while I do my research, and that’s final.” I began to see why my Mom had simply cut arguments with me off at the roots. I was quickly learning that arguing with a child only lead to trouble and headaches. I had always seen myself as an older sister for Spike, but without Princess Celestia or any other adult figures around, I was finding myself more and more in a parental position for Spike. The whole greed-growth incident certainly emphasized the need for me to take responsibility for him. Most children weren't capable of destroying an entire town on a bad day.
Spike frowned slightly and stared at me as I tightened my saddlebags around my waist. I decided to throw an umbrella into one of my bags in case I did get caught in the rain. Better safe than sorry. “You haven’t even told me what this new project of yours is, Twilight. I’m still your number one assistant, right?”
Great, now I was starting to feel guilty. I reached into my saddlebag with my telekinesis. “Look, I’m sorry, but this isn’t the type of project I really want to involve you in, and things are probably going to be busy for at least a few days while I work on this project.” I pulled out a handful of bits and floated them over to Spike. “How about later today you close the library for an hour, and go out and get something to eat and enjoy yourself for a bit?”
“Um, ok,” he said reluctantly as he took the bits. “If that’s what you really want.”
That at least seemed to placate him. “I may be gone all day. So don’t worry about waiting on me for dinner.” I gave him a warning glare. “I don’t want you trying to stay up all night again. You are still a baby dragon and need your sleep.” I walked over to him and nuzzled him. “Now give me a hug before I go.”
Spike crossed his arms over his chest, and rolled his eyes. “Ugh, do I have to?”
I sighed. I don’t get why he has such a problem with hugging me sometimes. “Spike, I might not get to see you for the rest of the day. Just give me one hug to say goodbye, please?”
His arms dropped as his resistance collapsed. “Yeah, alright.” Spike hesitated for a moment before giving me a hug around the neck.
I squeezed him back. “Right, I’m off then,” I said. Spike broke the hug and looked up at me. “Make sure no one leaves the library without actually checking-“
“I know how to run the library,” Spike cut me off with a huff. “I’ve spent enough time in libraries to know how to run one, thanks to you.”
“I’ve only taken you to a few, Spike,” I objected.
Spike started counting off digits on his claw. “The Canterlot Royal Library, the Celestia School for Gifted Unicorns Library, the Fillydelphia Library, the Stalliongrad Library, the Cloudsdale Library, the...”
So he was right. That was quite the list of libraries he was reading off. There was also the fact that I had taken him on my summer vacation tour of Equestria’s largest, most important, and historical museums … It had been educational and good for him, really.
“...the Mistvale Repository, the other Fillydelphia Library that isn’t as good, the-”
“I get it Spike, you’ve been to a lot of libraries because of me.” I giggled at him. So I guess he had a point, and I had dragged Spike to a number of libraries across Equestria to find rare and unique books, documents, and resources that could only be found in one location. So much to read, so little time. “At least you got that much out of being with me.”
Spike rolled his eyes at me. “That and learning how to create a bookfort I can sleep in.”
I rolled my eyes at Spike. “It’s not like a library is the worst place I could take you. And its not like I didn’t suggest plenty of books for you to read while I did my research.” Plus it was kind of annoying when he just took the books I was using for my research, and used them to create a place for him to sleep in.
Spike rolled his eyes right back at me. “Yeah, go figure, your solution to a problem is to read a book.”
I shook my head back and forth in annoyance. “Take care, Spike.” I pulled out my list out of my saddlebag as I left the library. Time for some research.
***
I made for the first item on my list. I opened the door to Rainbow Dash’s office at the town hall, the one specifically designated for the Weather Service in Ponyville. The Weather Service in Ponyville was sufficiently small enough to make it so that it only needed one office for the town’s weather manager, Rainbow Dash.
Looking around, it was obvious that Rainbow Dash was not an organized pony, not at all. Papers lay in disorganized piles on Dash’s desk, buried a table sitting against the wall, and covered a distressing proportion of the floor. Plaques and pictures were shoved into a shelf that had been nailed to a wall. It looked as though a storm had passed through, and given Rainbow Dash’s behavior to go everywhere while flying, that effectively might have happened.
I looked to see Rainbow Dash maneuvering a pencil over a piece of paperwork with her mouth, and placed the form into a bin where a handful of other papers lay. “If yo’ ‘ave a ‘eather requu’st, yo’ ‘an leave it in mai ern’box by the ‘oor,” she said as the pencil muffled her words. She did not even bother to look up at me. She finished with one form and then began to shift through the literal pile of papers sitting on one side of her desk before she seemed to decide one was worthy of her time and energy, and began to work furiously on it.
“Hi Rainbow Dash,” I said cheerfully.
Dash’s ears perked up, and she looked towards me. She spat her pencil onto her desk and leaned back in her chair. “Oh, hi Twilight.”
I walked up to her desk to face her. “Would you mind if I took some of your time to ask a few questions?” I pulled out a tablet and a pencil to write with from my saddlebag.
“I’d love to talk. Trust me, anything is better than having to deal with this.” She pointed at her uncultivated pile of papers. “But I have to get through all of this paperwork, or somepony isn’t going to get their rain when they need it, and I don’t want to have to explain to some farmer why their crops are dying.”
I was worried this might be a problem. Nailing Dash down on any day could be a hassle. During the day she was most likely going to be working. Even after she was done with her job, it would then be very difficult to find her considering she could be anywhere across town training or spending time doing … whatever it is she did with Pinkie these days. I think the only reason she even had a home was to have a place to keep her stuff, and maybe eat at. Granted, those aren’t bad reasons to own a home, but it made it difficult to find the flighty pegasus--especially when you were restricted to the ground like I was.
I glanced around and quickly surmised a solution that might make us both happy. “What if I helped you organize your paperwork here? I can make it a lot easier for you to find everything and allow you to finish a lot quicker. While I’m doing that, I can ask the questions I wanted to. I get to conduct my interview, and you save a bunch of time.”
Dash tapped a hoof on her desk while she thought about my offer. “I don’t know. I wouldn’t want you to mess things up and make it impossible for me to find anything.”
I raised a hoof to show where a couple of papers had stuck to it when I crossed the room and pointed at the disorganized pile of papers that lay about the room. “Because it is easy to find anything in that mess? Really Dash, I organized Ponyville’s Winter Wrap Up into getting the job done on schedule for the first time in over a decade. I deal with paperwork on a daily basis. You think I could make your office worse than it already is?”
Rainbow Dash let out an annoyed growl. “Alright alright, I’ll answer your questions if you help me organize this mess.” She leaned further back into her chair and wrapped her hooves around the back of her head. “Might as well put that egghead of yours to good use.”
I choose to ignore the insult in favor of concentrating on why I had come to Dash’s office in the first place. “Excellent, I just needed to ask a few questions about Cloud Kicker.”
Dash arched an eyebrows in confusion. “And why the hay do you want to know about Cloud Kicker?” Dash leaned forward in her chair and she slammed a pair of hooves on her desk. “She hasn’t been bothering you has she? Because if she has then I c-“
“Nonono, nothing like that,” I immediately interrupted. Even if I was less than thrilled by Cloud Kicker’s behavior, the last thing I needed to do was to set Dash on her. Though the idea of seeing her sweat for once did strike me as a little funny. Funny, but impractical for the purposes of the report I needed to write. “I recently received a request from the Royal Canterlot University to assist with a sociological study. The short of it is that they chose Cloud Kicker as one of the ponies they’re studying, and I’m in the middle of interviewing ponies she regularly interacts with. Hence, why I am here.”
“Waitwaitwait!” Dash jumped out of her chair to hover in the room, sending papers flying to the floor. “You want to study Cloud Kicker?”
“Yeah, I was as confused by the idea as you are,” I said. I began to pick various papers together, and as I started to scan the sheets to begin to create a mental list of possible ways to organize the paperwork. “But the pony running the study insisted that Cloud Kicker was a prime candidate for this project due to her…um, unique lifestyle.”
Rainbow Dash crossed her legs over her chest as she narrowed her eyes at me. “So you’re telling me these eggheads want to learn about Cloud Kicker because she bangs a bunch of ponies.”
Once again Dash, you manage to find the most delicate way to put things. I could not help but sigh loudly. “Essentially, yes. Or at least, that is what was implied to me.” I saw several themes to the paperwork in front of me and began sorting them out into piles based on those themes.
Dash landed on the ground and watched as I began to organize her papers for her. “You realize how weird that is, right?”
“Sometimes academics like to study things that are different,” I said as analytically as I could. “It’s not like she’s the only pony in Equestria of her type. This is supposed to be a cross examination of Equestrian society, and Cloud Kicker is…” My thoughts trailed off as I tried to put this in the most academic why I could. “That is to say, her role is unique and notable within Equestria society, and there is a need to record it for future study.”
Dash rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah, you eggheads need to get out and get banged more if this is your kink.”
My jaw dropped at the suggestion. “N-no, I - no -th-that’s not. No, its - s-science. Intercourse has nothing to... I mean...” It seemed my tongue and brain had decided to have a nasty breakup with one another.
Dash smiled at my discomfort while I tried to reconcile the differences keeping my tongue and brain from working as a team. “Besides, shouldn’t you eggheads all be out exploring ruins somewhere, or mixing chemicals and herbs and stuff anyways instead of doing something weird like this?”
I shook my head in irritation. “T-that’s all archeology, chemistry, and alchemy, not sociology-“
“Gesundheit.”
Sometimes I really wondered if Dash was either dumb, ignorant, oblivious, or just messing with me at times. “You’re just going to have to trust me that this is actually important. Now are you going to allow me to ask my questions, or are we just going to banter back and forth until your office is closed? I figure your office hours don’t last all day?”
“I have official office hours?” she said with confusion. She walked to her doorway and looked around to examine the walls. “I thought I told them to take that stupid plaque off the wall. I don’t need to be held down in an office while there’s perfectly good cloud pushing to be done.”
It was time to get this back on track. The study to determine Dash’s mental capabilities and motives were just going to have to be shelved for another day. “So, Dash: Cloud Kicker, when did you first meet her?” I kept organizing through Dash’s paperwork as promised, of course. Though looking at the dates of the paperwork, the disrepair the whole pile was under, and the types of things that were all mixed together, I was beginning to have serious worries about how Dash even managed to keep the Weather Service in Ponyville together.
Seemingly content that there was no plaque, and thus that there were no office hours being advertised, she pulled her head back into the office and turns towards me. “Oh, we’ve been friends since Flight Camp.” She stood up on her rear legs and started to make jabs with her forehooves. “We beat up all the bullies there--you wouldn’t believe the number of jerks who tried to hurt ponies like Fluttershy.” She gave a final series of jabs with an uppercut to finish it off. “We bucked all of them to the curb.”
I began the process of laying down the papers into neat piles on Rainbow’s desk. “So how would you describe your relationship now?”
“It’s pretty cool,” Dash answered. She walked back to her chair, and plopped herself back down in it. “She came to Ponyville to be a weather pony after graduating from college, and we’ve been hanging out every now and again since then.”
My head perked up when I heard Dash’s answer, and I turned away from scanning the papers. “Wait a minute, you said that Cloud Kicker graduated from college?”
“That’s what I said, yeah.”
I tilted my head in confusion. “From where? I didn’t know this about her.”
Dash tapped on her desk with a hoof for a moment before answering. “West Hoof.” For a pony who liked the sound of her own voice, she was being awfully terse.
“West Hoof?” I parroted. That certainly surprised me. Cloud Kicker did not strike me as the type to live a life of structure and discipline like Equestria’s premier military academy demanded. Everything my brother had said about West Hoof and what I had read confirmed it was not an easy school to graduate from. “You’re telling me Cloud Kicker graduated from possibly the strictest and most disciplined school in Equestria? I went to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and there are some aspects of West Hoof that make it seem like a cakewalk.”
“She’s smarter than a lot of ponies give her credit for,” Dash said with a shrug. “I wouldn't promote a pony to assistant manager if I thought they were dumb. I have to do enough around here without having to do my assistant manager’s job too.”
The whole thing was still odd to me. Why would she go to a school like West Hoof? Then a piece of information clicked in my head. That’s the problem with knowing as much as I do, you have to sift through a lot of information sometimes to get what you want at a particular moment. “So she’s a member of the old Kicker clan?”
She smiled as she nodded her head. “Yea, she’s part of that whole family of Royal Guard brats. They’re too uptight for my tastes, but Cloud Kicker’s cool in my book."
I frowned in concentration at Rainbow Dash. “You said that she came to Ponyville to be in the weather service right after she graduated right? As in there being no significant period of time in-between those two event?”
Dash frowned at me, and tapped her hoof on her desk a few more times before answering. “Yeah, that’s what I said. So?”
I got to my point. “Why did she go into a civilian job after four years of difficult military study? When she comes from one of Equestria’s biggest military clans, on top of that? No offense intended to your occupation, but it seems like she would’ve gone through a lot of work to just become a weather worker.”
Rainbow Dash leaned back in her chair and crossed her forelegs in front of her chest. She stared at me for a minute before speaking. “It’s not my place to say.”
My brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? You must have talked with her about why she decided to join the weather service with you at some point over the years. You said you were friends even.”
Rainbow’s ears twitched in irritation.“Yeah, and I said it’s not my place to talk about it.”
Fine, so I supposed I was just going to have to interview Cloud Kicker about that directly. At least it was something interesting to note for my report.
I was beginning to get a rhythm going with Dash’s paperwork as I started to become familiar with the various types of forms, weather requests, and memos. One piece of paper after another zipped by my glance, and then floated to one of the predetermined piles. I decided to move onto my next question. “So how does she do at her job as an assistant weather manager?”
Dash grinned at the new topic. “She does a rad job helping me manage the other weather pegasi. Her special talent is cloud manipulation, so she’s a natural at cloud pushing herself. She and Blossomforth were a big help on Hearts and Hooves Day. Ugh, things were just going to Tartarus when somepony broke the rainbow for the holiday... But they pulled through for me, so I promoted them to be assistant managers. The two of them have done a pretty cool job since then.”
I decided it would be best for me not to mention that it had been the Cutie Mark Crusaders who had drained the Hearts and Hooves Day rainbow of its color for an alchemical ingredient. I thought the Crusaders were going to learn about the holiday when I had loaned them that book. How was I supposed to know they intended to use it to brew up a love potion? On top of that, there were at least a half dozen varieties of love potions in that book, and they just had to pick out the one that was a poison. I mean really, don’t ponies read directions or warnings anymore? Big Macintosh, Cheerilee, and Rarity had a bit of a word with me after that whole incident…
“So you haven’t had issues with her during work?” I asked.
“Nuh-uh.” Dash started to look over the organized piles of paper I had placed on her desk. “She makes my job a bit easier each day, so I’m happy that I promoted her. She and Blossomforth are even doing most of the work setting up the thunderstorm for later today. It’s saving me a ton of time so that I can catch up with,” she looked at her desk in disgust, “paperwork.”
I chewed the inside of my mouth as I considered how to organize the papers that were already out of date, of which there were a disturbing number, and moved to the next question on my list without thinking about it. “Have you had intercourse with Cloud Kicker?”
Rainbow Dash’s forelegs flailed as she lost her balance in her chair and fell back onto the floor. She scrambled back to her hooves, and looked at me with a scowl. “Banged Cloud Kicker? Ew, no.” She rubbed the back of her head in pain. “Are you seriously asking a bunch of ponies that?”
I groaned in irritation and tried to keep working away at the papers. “Pretty much. At least from what the Pri-professors told me about the project, Cloud Kicker’s … social activities are a big part of why they want me to study her.” I looked up at Dash and frowned. “Sorry about launching into that question. I really didn’t think about the ordering of these questions when I put this list together.”
“Ya think?” She roughly put her chair back into a standing position and sat back down into it. One of her ears flicked in irritation. “Just try and give me a bit more warning before you go into something weird like that.”
I frowned and suppressed a groan. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
I finished organizing all the papers on the desk, and I then proceeded to lift all the papers off the floor. I was becoming annoyed with the constant crunching noise of hoof on paper every time I stepped. Really, I could not understand ponies that just left a bunch of stuff messily thrown about the floor. I suppressed my memories of college dorm rooms whose floors were nothing more than a myth dating back to the days of the beginning of the semester.
Dash looked at the piles of paper with disinterest. She bit her bottom lip before speaking again. “Hey Twi?”
“Yeah Dash,” I said.
Her wings ruffled a bit as she fidgeted in her chair. “Were you planning on interviewing other ponies for this thing you’re doing?”
“Of course,” I said without turning away from the piles of papers I was quickly eroding. “I figured interviewing some of her close family, friends, and associates would be a good start before I interviewed Cloud Kicker herself.”
“Who were you planning on interviewing?”
“Oh,” I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. “Her parents if I can find them, you, Fluttershy, her friend Blossomforth, Derpy, and a few others. It depends on who I turn up, and who looks like they could contribute to my study.”
“Ah ... yeah.” Dash rubbed the back of her head uncomfortably. “Hey, could you just not interview Fluttershy about Cloud Kicker?”
I was momentarily confused by Dash’s request. I turned to her and stopped going through the stacks of paper. “Why do you want me to do that, Dash?” I tried to process Dash’s unusual request. “Has Cloud Kicker embarrassed her at some point? I can see her being a bit much for a pony as shy as Fluttershy.” Honestly, the mare was a bit much for me, and I liked to think I had thick skin. I did not want to think what Cloud Kicker could do to a shrinking violet like Fluttershy.
Rainbow Dash pursed her lips for a moment before answering. “It’s just--look, Flight Camp is a sensitive subject for Fluttershy. We were all there when Flight Camp was not a cool place, and she had a really rough time with it. More than most ponies.”
I frowned slightly at Dash as I considered what she said. “I could just avoid the topic of Flight Camp, and just ask about Clo-“
“No!” Dash resolutely leapt over her desk and landed right in front of me. I looked at the papers that had been blown to the floor with chagrin. It would have been nice if Dash could at least have waited until I left the room before destroying my work. “Please, Twilight, don’t interview Fluttershy about Cloud Kicker. It will just dig up bad memories for her. Trust me.”
I walked around Dash to get into a better position to look at and organize the papers Dash had knocked over. “I’m not going to try and hurt Fluttershy’s feelings. You should know that. If I start to make her uncomfortable I will-“
“No, you don’t understand!” Dash snapped, violently enough to make me flinch away from her. She let out a groan and slowly ran a hoof over her face. “Look, Flight Camp was horrible. The counselors weren’t doing jack for their jobs there. You couldn’t find a counselor if it wasn’t time for a class. Bullies were a huge problem, and Fluttershy got it really bad there. Everypony was getting into fights all the time--like when me and Cloud Kicker beat up those bullies who were mean to Fluttershy and Derpy. Kids were doing things kids should just not do with one another...” Her eyes broke contact for a moment as she looked down and to the side as though remembering something. Dash’s voice barely rose to that above a whisper. “And they got really hurt as a result. It was awful there.”
I put all the papers I had been levitating to the side in order to concentrate on Dash. She seemed to be acting really defensive and concerned about this issue, and I thought it was best for me to give her my full attention. “I could just not ask about anything relating to Flight Camp. I only need to know about her relationship with Cloud Kicker, not specifically about Flight Camp.”
Dash growled in irritation before taking a calming breath. “Twilight,” she put a hoof on each of my shoulders and looked me with a pleadingly, “I am asking you, friend to friend, for the sake of another friend: just drop it. Please. I wish I could tell you more--but I can’t. Just trust me on this, okay?”
Dash’s shoulders slumped and she was biting her lower lip. This must have meant a lot to her if she was pushing this hard over it. I wanted to do a thorough job of my report, of course. But by the way Rainbow was looking at me, I might have to change up my approach a bit where Fluttershy was concerned. I really did not want to hurt Fluttershy’s feelings after all. I knew how awful being bullied as a child could be from firsthand experience, and if her Flight Camp experience was as bad as she seemed to be suggesting... “Yeah, alright Dash. I won’t interview Fluttershy about Cloud Kicker if you really think that is for the best.”
She let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks Twilight. That means a lot to me.” She took her hooves off my shoulders and smirked at me. “So what else do you have to ask?”
Even if I was going to have to prematurely cross Fluttershy off my list of interviewees, at least for the moment, I still had a few other odd and end questions for Dash. I nodded to her and went back to organizing the Weather Service papers, and I asked her a few more questions about Cloud Kicker. I managed to finish up both tasks at about the same time.
I looked over Dash’s desk and double checked my work with a satisfied nod. “And there we go, all organized. Now if you stick to my organizational scheme, you shouldn’t have trouble finding anything anymore.”
“Yeah, whatever.” She dismissively waved me off, and leaned back into her chair. After a moment her ears suddenly perked up, and she grinned at me. “Oh, that reminds me!” She leapt over the desk with a couple flaps of her wings, and blew many of the papers I had just finished organizing all over her desk and onto the floor.
I looked at the destruction of the past hour’s work and gave Dash a disapproving glare. There went my efforts to make Dash’s life a little less cluttered and disorganized. Dash looked to see what she did, and gave a weak chuckle. “Oh, sorry, but anyways...” Sure Dash, just switch topics away from the damage you just caused to my efforts to make you life better. “Do you know what an anemometer is?”
I raised my eyebrow in interest. “Of course, it’s an instrument that measures the force and direction of the wind. It’s also commonly used to measure a pegasus’s wing power. Why?”
“Yeah, that.” Dash nodded in excitement. “Do you know how to work one?”
I scratched my cranium. This was an odd subject to suddenly get into. I drew up my knowledge on meteorology and weather engineering. “Not specifically, but I think I could easily learn how to use one by going over a couple of books about weather engineering at the library, and any technical manuals you might have here. From what I have heard, it shouldn’t be too hard to figure out. Not half as bad as my meteorological spacial surveyor.”
“Awesome!” She pumped a hoof in the air. “Look, I need to ask you a big favor.”
My ears perked in interest. “Sure, what is it Dash? You know I’ll help if I can.”
“Great.” She looked back and forth around the room, and then flew in closer to speak more quietly. “You see, I’m trying to get Ponyville a turn at Tornado Duty.”
I thought that over for a second. “Alright, but I don’t see what the problem is.” I did some quick math on how many pegasi were in Ponyville, and the wingpower of your average pegasus. “You’ll have to call in a lot of the Ponyville pegasi for weather duty, but you shouldn’t have that much trouble getting eight hundred wingpower to pull a tornado off.”
“That’s the thing,” Dash said eagerly. “I don’t just want to pull off a water tornado, I want to break the record! I want us to break Fillydelphia’s record of nine hundred wingpower. I think it would be totally awesome if we could get all the way up to a thousand!”
I tapped a hoof against the side of my head as I redid my math to see if it was even possible, and my brain came back with an answer. “I don’t know Dash, that is asking a lot of the pegasi of Ponyville. There just aren’t enough pegasi in town to confidently pull that off.” That was not even getting into the fact that is was unnecessary. All you needed was eight hundred wingpower to create the water tornado. It would be overkill to do so much more than the minimum needed to do this. The only reason a small town like Ponyville stood a chance of breaking the old record was because no one bothered to set a record for a relatively mundane piece of weather duty.
I decided to go to a chalkboard Dash had in her office and wrote out the the projected estimates for Tornado Day. Dash watched intently as I started doing the math. Typically, you pulled the standard number of pegasi together for the job, put in the effort and then sent the tornado Cloudsdale’s way so they would have the moisture need to make more clouds. Simple as that. I looked at my final estimate. “It does seem at least theoretically possible, if extremely difficult”
Dash flew up and looked at the finished product of my calculations. “So you’re saying it can be done.” Dash tapped the final number and gave an expectant grin.
I double-checked my math. I went with how many pegasi were normally available for Winter Wrap Up, and then got the average wingpower we would need for each pegasus to go over a thousand wingpower. My lips frowned when I got my answer. “It’s possible, but Dash, that would require all the pegasi in Ponyville to stand a chance of getting the raw numbers you need for something like that.”
Dash nodded her head as I explained why this was implausible. “Doesn’t sound like a problem to me. I have the legal right to conscript every pegasi in Ponyville for the job, don’t worry about it.”
I breathed to relax myself. I was just going to have to explain this step by step to my friend then. “Even then, you need to get an average of ten wingpower to reach the record. Do you know what the average for wingpower for a pegasus is? Eight point six. Way below what you need.” I hated to pop Dash’s bubble given how she seemed really seemed into this idea of breaking the old record, but somepony needed to be a voice of reason in this crazy town. But what Dash did was take my reason, and took it as an excuse to ramp up the crazy.
“My thoughts exactly!” she said with a confident grin. “I’m going to call up every pegasi in town for a solid week of weather duty, and we are going to train and train hard!” She added emphasis by slamming one hoof against another. “That’s why I want you to get an anemometer and run it for me. My cloud pushers are the only other ponies who would know how to run a doohickey like that, but they’re also my strongest fliers. So I need them for the tornado. I’m gonna need all the pegasi I can get.”
I hoped Dash’s bosses would be alright with her adding nearly a hundred pegasi to the weather service payroll for a solid week just to train them to break a record. Did her bosses even know that she was going with this hare-brained scheme, or did she just fail to tell them what she was up to when she filed the wage and conscription requests from her management in Cloudsdale? Assuming she had even gone through the effort of filing the paperwork yet. Given what I just saw in her office, I was surprised Ponyville got enough clouds every week to even have weather. No wonder Ponyville always seemed to have nothing but bright, almost cloudless days most of the time.
I shook my head in irritation. “Dash, this has ‘bad idea’ written all over it. It’s not necessary, and is just going to be a big headache to pull off.”
Dash did not even acknowledge my protest. “But you’re saying it can be done?”
I needed to bring some basic organizational logic to this conversation. “Yes, but you need to understand: nothing, and I mean nothing can go wrong if you want to break the record. No injuries, no sickness, and nopony skipping on weather service. There is virtually no room for error here to reach one thousand wingpower.”
“Yeah, which will make it cooler when we finally do it.” Dash clapped her hooves together in anticipation. “Nopony will see this coming. It’ll be so awesome. Besides, you told me all I needed to hear, that it can be done. I’m so pumped for this.”
I sighed and rubbed my face. I had a feeling there was no way I was going to convince Dash to not go through with this idea. Celestia had warned me when I was younger about coming up with plans that either required everything to go perfectly or required perfect efficiency, and this plan to break the old record smacked against both of those warnings. The good news was that Ponyville only had to get eight hundred wingpower to pull the tornado off, and we would have plenty of margin of error for that. So even if Dash’s plan met a snag or two she should not get into trouble as long as Cloudsdale got its water.
Deciding I was not signing up for an epic failure waiting to happen, I smiled at Dash and offered a hoof to her. “Alright, I have my reservations about this, but you’ve got yourself a volunteer weather technical engineer for Tornado Day.”
Dash shook my hoof vigorously. “Awesome, welcome to the team. Well, as a volunteer anyways. Can’t really join the weather service unless you have these babies.” She gave a flap of her wings to show me what she was talking about. She smirked at me. “Not that having you around isn’t going to be a huge help. This means a ton to me Twilight, thanks.”
“Of course Dash.” I patted her on the shoulder. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t help you out with something that was as important as this to you?”
Dash pumped a hoof into the air. “Trust me, this will be totally radical. Nopony is going to see a town as small as Ponyville pulling this off. You totally won’t regret helping me with this.”
I certainly hoped not. I had enough stress in my life as is.
***
With my interview with Rainbow Dash complete, I exited the Ponyville City Hall. I had taken longer than I originally expected, but I had made sure to schedule plenty of extra time to absorb such irregularities. Looking up, I saw that the coming storm was still a couple hours away. So there was not any reason to run home quite yet.
“Hey, if it isn’t Duchess.” My ear twitched in irritation. I looked up to see Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth fly down and land near me. Cloud Kicker was smiling while Blossomforth seemed mildly irritated.
I scowled at Cloud Kicker. “I thought I asked you to stop calling me that.”
“Oh, but it fits you so well.” Cloud Kicker sauntered up next to me. “You’ll always be noble to me.”
Blossomforth trotted up to stand by Cloud Kicker. “We need to get going, Cloud Kicker. We need to get these forms to Rainbow and tell her everything is good for the rainstorm later today.”
Cloud Kicker grinned at Blossomforth. “Don’t be all business, Blossom. We made good time getting all the clouds into position. All we need to do now is buck it, and the whole thing will go off without a hitch. We have plenty of time to say hello to a friend.” Blossom looked away from Cloud Kicker and gave an irritated groan.
I took a few steps away from Cloud Kicker and turned to face her directly. “We are not friends, Cloud Kicker. I’m just doing a bit of research on you for my report.”
Cloud Kicker’s ears drooped, and she put on a false pout. “How could you be so mean to me Twilight? All I wanted was for us to be friends.” She winked at me. “Or better yet, more than friends. Well, you know, a special kinda friends that comes with certain ... benefits.”
I groaned in irritation. “Really Cloud Kicker? You are always doing this. You are always hitting on me, always. Why are you doing this?”
She grinned that stupid grin that was really starting to annoy me. “Because, I’m hoping to get some extra study sessions in the library with a hot librarian one of these days.”
I rubbed the side of my head to relieve the growing pain in my cranium. “But that’s the thing, I know you aren’t serious about your … advances. Both you and Dash told me that you’re not serious when you do this with me due to some rule you have. It doesn’t make sense for you to keep doing this.”
“Of course it does.” She trotted up next to me again. “It’s funny.” She leaned in to whisper into my ear. “And you're really cute when your cheeks blush.”
I turned and backed away from her a couple steps. I was also considering declaring treason against my slowly heating cheeks. “You have to know I’ll never say yes to you. So there isn’t any point to it. It’s not like you can--Uh … That we will ever spend time together … Like that.”
She turned and slowly walked up to besides me. “Just because I can’t have a piece of art in a museum doesn’t mean I can’t admire how beautiful it is.” She turned her head and … Oh, Celestia burn her, she wasn’t even pretending she wasn’t looking right at my plot! “Yep, that’s a view I could always enjoy.”
I turned so that it would be difficult for her to see anything but my face. “You are infuriating.”
“And you're sexy when you’re mad,” Cloud Kicker answered right back.
“Cloud Kicker, can we report to Dash already?” Blossomforth interjected. By the way she was looking at the ground, I had to guess she was as sick of Cloud Kickers antics as I was. “I’d like to get that done so I can start my break and get something to eat.”
Cloud Kicker turned to face Blossom. Of course she had to turn at an angle that left her rear directly facing me. Not that I actually looked at it or anything. It would have been indecent to be caught looking. “Oh fine Blossom, happy fun time is over. Let’s report in to the boss.” Cloud Kicker turned her head to look at me. “Until next time, Duchess.”
The two of them started walking away when I remembered something. “Wait, Blossomforth.”
Blossomforth stopped walking and turned to look at me. “What is it?”
Alright, how to ask this without it sounding terribly awkward, and providing Cloud Kicker with more ammunition to tease me. Not that she needed any help. “Would you mind if I interviewed you for my studies? We could do it right now, if you aren’t terribly busy. You said you were going to have a break when you finished reporting in to Dash.”
Blossomforth tilted her head in confusion. “I don’t know about that. I’m working a split shift today due to the storm, and I only have a few hours to get some rest in. It’s going to be a long day as is.”
“We can just talk over lunch.” I went through my mental bag of tricks to find a way to get her to agree. “I’ll even pay for your meal--wherever you want to eat, my treat.” As Celestia had told me, it is rare when a pony will turn down a free meal. Even if you want something from them and they know it. “It won’t even take that long. I have a couple other things I would like to do before the storm hits anyway.”
Blossomforth chewed on her lips for a couple of seconds when Cloud Kicker poked her in the ribs. “Go ahead Blossom, accept, she’s asking you out on a date.”
“I am not!” And that did not sound defensive on my part at all. Blossomforth blushed and she turned her head away from me. I stomped a hoof. “It’s just for the report I’m working on--nothing more.”
Cloud Kicker leaned in to whisper more than loudly enough for me to hear what she was saying. “She’s just embarrassed, Blossom. Give her time, she’ll open up to you. Don’t let this opportunity get away from you- she’s Grade A banging material right there.”
Blossom gave a soft squeak as she leaned away from Cloud Kicker. “I-I don’t know, it’s just-”
“Come on Blossom, it’s obvious that she has a crush on you. She spent all that time following you around yesterday because she was too embarrassed to come out and say she wants to bang you. You can’t turn her down now.”
I groaned in frustration. “This is not a date! This is nothing but academic in purpose.”
“She seems awfully defensive when she says that, don’t you think?” Cloud Kicker said suggestively. “Besides, what else was she going to do if not ‘interview’ you?”
“I was going to visit Zecora!” I was desperate to find anything to derail Cloud Kicker and her wild suggestions that I had anything but academic intentions towards Blossomforth. “I was going to pick up some tea mixtures she was preparing for me.”
“Oh good.” Cloud Kicker perked up in interest. “Could you pick up a few potions I ordered from her while you’re there?”
I narrowed my eyes in suspicion at Cloud Kicker. It was not exactly a stretch of the imagination to say that she was up to something by this point. “And what type of potions do you need from Zecora?”
She smiled at me like a cat who just had a mouse fall into her paws. “Oh, my contraceptives of course. Zecora’s are the best if you ask me--none of the cramping like that second rate stuff from Canterlot.”
I groaned and facehoofed. Of course, what else would she want me to pick up from Zecora’s? I swear, it was like she was trying to set some sort of record for making me groan … And that last thought sounded a lot more dirty than I had meant it to. Stupid Cloud Kicker was already starting to be a bad influence on me.
“And why exactly should I pick up your ... potions?” I asked.
“Oh, don’t be like that Twilight.” She put on that false pouty face again. “You wouldn’t want me to get knocked up because I didn’t have enough protection, would you? I wouldn’t be able to provide my valuable service to the community as the third pony for everypony’s threesomes. Imagine all those couples who would have to go without their favorite nymphomaniac to add some spice their their relationships.”
I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her. “I am not here to enable your lifestyle, Cloud Kicker.”
“Hey, don’t knock it until you try it.” Cloud Kicker expanded her wings. “Besides, you wouldn’t want me to wear these out further after a hot day on the job. And in a storm nonetheless, not when you’re already heading out to Zecora’s hut. Besides, it’s just more efficient for just one of us to go out there. You like efficiency don’t you, Duchess?”
She just had to use the E word with me, didn’t she? I was beginning to get a bit concerned that she was already getting a good idea of how to push my buttons. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Fine, I’ll pick up your potions. Just to be nice, and because we are going to have to work together for awhile.”
Before I could say or do anything, she lept and wrapped her legs around my neck in a hug. My personal space had now been officially violated. I would normally consider this a friendly hug, but this is Cloud Kicker we were talking about. “Thanks Twilight, you’re a pal. Think of it as a favor.” I tried to break the hug, but she had a surprisingly strong grip on me. Her hot breath tickled my ear as she added, “Maybe I can give you a backrub later to thank you? Trust me, give me a few minutes and you'll be melting like butter under my hooves.”
“No!” I finally managed to squirm out of her grasp and backed away a few steps. Blossomforth was glaring at the both of us now. Why was she giving me that type of look also? Cloud Kicker was the one getting all touchy-feely with me against my wishes. “No backrubs!” Cloud Kicker looked like she was about to say something else when I cut her off. “No anything!”
Cloud Kicker shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. “If that’s the answer you want to give right now, that’s your choice.” She gave me a sultry smile. “But remember, my offer is always there if you change your mind.”
“I won’t,” I said firmly.
Cloud Kicker walked up next to Blossomforth, who was giving her a narrowed eyed stare. “In any event, you two need to get going on your date.”
“I-I d-didn’t say I wanted to go,” protested Blossomforth.
“And I said it wasn’t a date!” I was vainly hoping that by protesting enough she would stop her antics. It was a hope beyond all hope.
“Besides, we have to talk with Dash and-,” Blossomforth’s protests were cut off when Cloud Kicker proceeded to slap Blossomforth on the rump to knock her closer to me, resulting in Blossomforth giving a small squeal and blushing terribly.
Cloud Kicker smiled mischievously at the two of us. “Get along you two lovebirds. Don’t worry Blossom, I’ll tell the boss that I sent you on your way to get some rest before the night half of your shift. She naps so often that she won’t have any room to complain.” She leaned in to talk quietly to Blossomforth. “Though I don’t expect you to be resting the entire time.” She gave a knowing wink. “Have fun.”
Before Blossomforth could stutter an objection, Cloud Kicker had trotted her way into the City Hall, leaving the two of us along the in the town square.
After standing there in awkward silence for a few moments I decided to try and say something. “So … Free lunch?”
Blossomforth ears perked and she turned to face me. “You said any restaurant of my choice?”
I nodded. “Yes, that’s correct.”
She tapped her chin and then smiled widely. “You know, there is this restaurant that serves really nice salads that I like, but can’t always go to.”
I was not liking how that smile was curving. It was a smile that suggested that my interview was going to cost me a pretty bit. Probably a dozen. At least I got my interview. That’s …. something right?
Maybe this study of Cloud Kicker was not going to be as easy as I originally expected.
Blossomforth chose a fairly nice restaurant in Ponyville, one that was going to take a good chunk out of my food budget for the month. I suppose this is what you should expect when you offer somepony a free meal without specifying any kind of price range. That will have to be something I keep in mind in the future when I offer meals as compensation for future interviews. Admittedly, Blossomforth knew her salads.
Blossomforth seemed to be enjoying her salad with generous portions of cherry tomatoes and cucumber slices when I cleared my throat to get her attention. “So, Blossomforth, about those interview questions I wanted to ask.”
She finished chewing and swallowed the mouthful of salad. “Oh right, that.” She wiped her face with a napkin before going on. “What did you want to know?”
I pulled out a pencil and a notepad from my saddlebags. “I just wanted to ask a few questions about your relationship with Cloud Kicker, and any observations you might have about her.”
Blossomforth fidgeted a bit in her chair. “So Cloud Kicker told me you're studying her for some sort of sociology report?”
I nodded. “That’s correct.”
“Seems really odd, don’t you think?” she asked. “Cloud Kicker doesn’t strike me as a typical subject for an academic report.”
“It is a bit odd.” I rubbed the back of my neck in discomfort. She was certainly not my first choice for a sociology study.
Blossomforth pursed her lips. “So why, why Cloud Kicker of all ponies?”
I thought for a moment. I really needed to come up with a more diplomatic way to explain what I was going to be doing with most of my time in the coming days, and saying ‘I’m studying Cloud Kicker because Princess Luna wants to learn about the sexually promiscuous pony in Ponyville’ was not going to cut it. Instead, I went with the first thing that sounded halfway decent in my head. “Sompony in Canterlot seems to think Cloud Kicker’s ... unusual role in society is worthy of study.” I shrugged as I continued. “So I’m going to do the best job I can for my part of the study.”
Blossomforth seemed to consider that for a moment before nodding her head. “Well alright then, ask away. You’re paying for lunch after all.”
I drew upon my mental checklist of questions as I levitated my pencil before me. “When did you first meet Cloud Kicker?”
Blossomforth’s ears perked to attention. “Oh, we first met on the job. I had just come to Ponyville after graduating from Cloudsdale University, starting my job here in the weather service. Since I didn't have any real work experience or good connections, I had to start out on the night shift.” She looked down at a cherry tomato that had fallen off her salad and started to fiddle with it on the table. “It can get pretty lonely working that shift since there's only a skeleton crew working nights unless there's some major weather scheduled, and most of the groundside ponies are asleep. It didn’t help that I didn’t know any of the ponies in Ponyville either. It was a pretty solitary existence for a while.”
She turned from the tomato to look at me and smiled. “But Cloud Kicker saw that I was keeping to myself most of the time and didn’t have any friends. So she came right on over during our lunch break one night, she slapped me on the back and said ‘Blossom, you look way too lonely for a pegasus as cute as you are, let’s bang.’ At first I was mortified by what she’d said, but when she saw that I was blushing hard enough to make my cheeks feel like they were on fire, she just laughed.”
She looked out the window next to us and focused on something in the distance. “I couldn’t even put two words together, so she gave me another pat on the back and said, ‘Well if that’s moving too fast for you then we can just go ahead and be friends for now. We can work on the with-benefits part later.’ After that she wouldn't leave me alone, and I guess I got used to having her around. So ... that's how we became friends.”
I pursed my lips as I considered Blossomforth’s story. “So her hitting on you caused you to become friends? That seems … unconventional.”
Blossomforth’s attention snapped from the window and back to me, and she shook her head vigorously. “Oh no, it’s not like that. That’s just her way of getting another pony to open up, or interacting with ponies in general. She saw that I was always just standing off to the side whenever everypony was socializing, and she was nice enough to come over and talk to me.”
I scribbled notes down on what she had just told me. “How would you describe your relationship with Cloud Kicker?”
Blossomforth fidgeted in her seat, and turned her head to look at her salad. “Oh, we’re totally friends, like BFF’s. We always hang out and have fun with each other, that’s all.”
I slammed the top of the table slightly harder than I had intended. My voice took on an irritated tone. “But she’s always so mean to you! She’s always teasing you, getting you all flustered, and making you uncomfortable. I don’t think there has been a single time you two have been together where she hasn’t made a sexual proposition towards you.” Why was I letting myself sound so vexed at his point?
Blossomforth’s eyebrows rose in surprise at my slightly explosive reaction to her answer, and she leaned back in her chair away from me. “Well, yeah, that’s just Cloud Kicker’s nature. She interacts with everypony she wants to be friendly with that way.”
I let out a low groan, and I ran a hoof through my mane. “Alright then, now this question is a bit risque, so please brace yourself.” I gave her a moment to brace herself mentally. “Have you ever had intercourse with Cloud Kicker?” Blossomforth’s eyes widened in surprise and she started coughing on open air. Note to self: find a better way to ask that question.
I began to worry that I was about to commit equicide through sheer embarrassment when she finally managed to catch her breath. “W-what?! NO!” she finally gasped out. “We’re just friends! Always have been, always will be!”
I crossed my forelegs across my chest. Yeah, just friends. Come on, I’ve seen married couples who don't spend as much time around each other--my parents, for instance. So I had more than a little trouble believing Cloud Kicker could spend more than five minutes with a pony without trying to ‘bang’ them. “So you’re saying that you, who was near as I can tell, spends the most time around Cloud Kicker, have never … you know, um, slept together, cuddled, had carnal relations with one another-”
“Stop! Enough already! No, we haven’t done anything like that!” Blossomforth’s face had been getting redder and redder as I had been going. Her heavy breathing suggested that I should probably stop pressing on this point. “We are friends, just friends, only friends.” She looked down at the table with a frown and sighed. “Always will just be friends.”
I tapped on the table as I considered the sincerity of Blossomforth’s words. She seemed pretty upset over the matter if she was just lying about it. Pushing her harder on this would likely just shut her down at this point, so I decided to throw her a question she was probably going to be more comfortable with to help calm her down. “I was curious, were there any reasons why you decided to come work at Ponyville?”
Blossomforth took a calming breath and nodded. “Yeah, after I graduated from college, I wanted to enter the weather service. It’s solid, respectable field of work that has good pay and benefits, and it has clear paths for advancement for somepony with a degree in weather engineering like me.” She looked away and to the side for a moment before turning back to me to continue. “I spent my entire life in Cloudsdale. I didn’t exactly have any roots holding me down there, so I wanted to go new places, meet new ponies, spend a bit of time groundside, that kind of thing.”
This topic seemed to be one Blossomforth was more comfortable with. For starters, her face was no longer the color of a tomato, so I saw no reason not to continue with this line of questions. It was a bit interesting, and less embarrassing than anything Cloud Kicker related. Though I did detect a contradiction in Blossomforth’s last statement caught my interest. “Wait, you said that you spent your entire life in Cloudsdale, but that you also didn’t have any roots there? What about your family?”
Blossomforth frowned at my question. “Oh, uh, I don’t really have any family there. None that I know of anyways. I was needing a change in scenery, only so much white on white I could stand.”
I tapped my pencil on my lips as I thought over her answer. “So where is your family then if you spent most of your life in Cloudsdale?”
“I’d rather not go into that, please. It’s a bit personal.” She looked down at the table and did not elaborate.
This looked like a topic she was not longer comfortable with, and it seemed like I was getting into some personal business that was not for me. Blossomforth was not the center of my study anyways, so I decided to drop it in favor of a new line of questioning. “So why Ponyville then? There had to have been plenty of places to pick up and move to.”
She tapped her chin and took a few moments to answer my question. “Well, it’s easier to advance in a small town’s weather service where there are more management positions available, and it isn’t as hard to stand out from the crowd. If I was in Manehatten or Canterlot as a weather worker, I would just be Cloud Pusher #244 to the higher-ups. I put in applications at a whole bunch of small towns and got a lot of offers, but out of all the potential bosses I interviewed with, Rainbow Dash seemed like the best choice. She seemed like she’d be a good boss, and it looked like she was somepony who was going places, so I signed up with Ponyville. I got promoted to an assistant weather manager a little bit ago, so I guess I made the right choice.”
I couldn’t deny that Rainbow Dash had a certain charisma to her. Even if she had the organizational abilities of a hurricane. “So, I guess you like being in the weather service?”
Blossomforth nodded. “I’ve been happy with it overall. It can be long hours and kinda dangerous at times though. I’ve been to the hospital...” She looked up at the ceiling while thinking for a moment. “Twelve or so times now.” My eyes widened in surprise at that. Seeing my reaction, she waved her hooves to reassure me. “Nothing serious, just the usual sprains, broken bones, and minor electrocution burns you get while in the weather service. Rainbow's always insistent on sending anypony to the hospital for even minor injuries, just to be safe. Which is kinda ironic, since getting her to go when she's hurt is about as easy as flying when your pinions are moulting.” We both let out a hearty laugh at that. The only time I had managed to get Dash to a hospital was because she was too unconscious to have a word about it. She was only second to Applejack in the stubborn department.
Blossomforth ran a hoof over her eye to wipe away a couple tears she had given while laughing. “But really, it’s rewarding work, and I enjoy it. Besides, whenever I’m on the no-fly list because of an injury, I get to give Dash’s office some much-needed organization and cleanup. She kinda makes our branch of the weather service look like some kind of second rate backwater weather branch because of that.”
“Yeah, I saw what her office was like just a little while ago,” I said in irritation. “I’d just finished organizing all her paperwork for her, and not five minutes after I was done she had already blown half of the forms onto the floor.”
Blossomforth giggled at the mention of her boss’s messiness. “That certainly sounds like her. I’ll set everything up for her, and the next day it looks like a tornado has gone through the office. She claims that it's all organized chaos and that she has a 'system' that I keep messing up, but I think that's just an excuse.”
From the sounds of it, Blossomforth was a far more organized and detailed-oriented pony than Dash. Little wonder that Dash had made her one of her assistant managers. Though Blossomforth seemed to be working up quite the rant now that I had her on the topic of work. “I mean really, I got all the paperwork and forms filled out for us to get a special weather monitor to help our team deal with all the crazy weather that keeps hitting us from the Everfree Forest. There was a government grant out there that would have paid for most of it, and that was probably the one chance we were ever going to get one for a small town like Ponyville. And what does she do with the file I had it all in? She loses it! Can you believe it! That’s the closest I’ve ever come to hoofticuffs with a pony.”
I internally grimaced at her less than generous take on my friend’s managerial ability. “Sounds like you're not that thrilled to work under her.”
Blossomforth’s ears twisted in confusion. “Huh? Nonono, she’s a great manager! I don’t really regret coming to work for her.” She leaned towards me in her chair and talked quickly to explain what she meant. “Like I said, she always makes sure her employees are safe and healthy as is manageable in this occupation. She knows everything there is to know about the practical side of cloud pushing, and she busts her flank everyday and puts in the long hours.” She leaned back and let out a long sigh. “The only reason you groundside ponies probably think she spends all her time napping is because she probably doesn’t get enough sleep at home when she should, and takes power naps near the ground when she does get a break.”
She rubbed her hooves lightly together slowly. “It’s just--she could use some personal improvement on the administrative side of things. She really should've hired a couple assistant managers a long time ago, but she kept insisting that she could handle everything herself. I know it sounds kind of wrong to say it, but if she hadn't gotten into that crash that left her grounded for two weeks, she'd probably still be trying to do it all without any help.”
With the assurance that one of my best friends was not a disaster waiting to happen, my thoughts turned to something else Blossomforth had mentioned. “You know Blossomforth, I have a weather tracker down in the library’s basement, and-”
“What?!” Blossomforth nearly tipped the table over when she stood up in excitement and surprise. She blushed when she saw the ponies at the tables near us look at her, and sat back down. She leaned in closer to me to talk more quietly. “Where did you get one? Those things costs tens of thousands of bits apiece. Even if you got some rundown piece of junk that no respectable weather branch would use, the scrap parts would still net you thousands on the market.”
“Oh um...” That was an uncomfortable question I did not particularly want to answer. Especially when it sounded like Blossomforth had worked so hard to get one, only for Dash to bungle the opportunity. I did not want to sound like I was bragging or anything. “It was a -- uh … grant -- of the student type … for research … because I do research for the princesses and stuff.” Smooth as silk, Twilight.
Her raised eyebrow did not suggest confidence in my explanation. “Twilight, I’ve been to college, and I’ve never heard of student research grants even half that large.”
“They do if you’re Princess Celestia’s personal student.” I gave a chuckle that did not at all come across as forced. I decided to turn the conversation to something away from this line of questioning. “Would you like to see it? I know you're bummed about not getting one for your branch here, but at least you can get to play around with one first-hoof right here in Ponyville.”
Blossomforth’s ears perked up in interest at the suggestion. “Really? You don’t have to waste your time or anything. Besides, there is the storm coming, and I should probably at least get a nap in be-”
“Of course you’re welcome to see it,” I interrupted. I smiled encouragingly at her. “I wouldn’t be offering if I wasn’t serious about it.” Plus how many times did I get to show off my weather tracker to anypony that cared, I mean really? Science could be such a lonely pursuit. I loved my friends, but none of them were terribly interested in any kind of scientific or academic pursuits. It took me months of work just to get Dash to read a popular series of fictional literature. “And if the rainstorm hits while you are looking at it, or you don’t want to fly home you can just crash in my guest bed, no problem.”
Blossomforth sat back and considered my offer for a couple moments before sighing in resignation. “Alright, this is probably going to be my only chance to see one outside of a weather service convention, much less play around with.”
I clapped my forehooves together in glee. “Excellent, let’s finish up here, and I’ll show you my entire science lab!”
“Lab?” Blossomforth asked.
***
I opened the first layer of magical shields protecting my science lab so that Blossomforth and I could enter, and with a touch of magic I resealed the hole in the pink energy field after us. We were now in one of the basement chambers of the library. Dominating the room before us sat a trio of large pink shield cylinders evenly spaced around the room that went from floor to ceiling.
I extended a hoof to welcome Blossomforth to my lab. “And here we are! Welcome to my science lab!” It was so rare that I got to show anypony what I was up to down here. Especially somepony who might have a clue about what I was talking about. I was more than a little bit excited. “How about I give you the tour while you're here?” Ok, so maybe I wanted to show off what I was doing a tiny, wincy, little bit. Sue me, we all want a little attention at least sometimes.
“Um, yeah, it sure is pink,” replied Blossomforth. She seem far from wowed when she walked up to the nearest shield on the right to looked at it.
“Oh, yeah.” I chuckled as I walked up to stand next to Blossomforth. “I keep everything under lockdown to be on the safe side.” My face scowled at bad memories of past incidents. Explosions, meltdowns, things unleashed on the world, embarrassments, of a whole wing of the School for Gifted Unicorns melting, pain, the science building for Canterlot University ceasing to exist for a few hours. “Yes, better safe than sorry I say.”
“I-it is safe down here right?” asked Blossomforth. She now looked at the shields with worry rather than curiosity. Perhaps she was merely too stunned by the largeness of it all and needed a bit of time to take it all in?
“Of course it is,” I said in a chipper mood. “These shields are meant to prevent any horrific disasters from being unleashed upon the world, after all.”
“Right,” said Blossomforth in a less than confident manner. “I think I might be having second-”
I opened a hole in the cylinder shield she was standing next to and I pushed her inside. “Come on, lots of science to show off!”
Inside of the first shield sat a pair of tables spaced far enough apart from one another to allow a pony to walk between without being too cramped. Beakers, tubes, wires, pots, and other assorted chemistry and alchemy related tools laid astrue across the tables. I had a couple of long term experiments going on, and a small black pot slowly bubbled on one of the tables, while liquids moved about in an apparatus I had set up on the other one. A pair of shelves filled with tomes and alchemical ingredients lined the wall of the shield.
“Here is my chemistry and alchemy lab!” I trotted to between the two tables and sat down to rub my two front hooves together. “As you can probably guess, this is where do some alchemical and chemical experiments.”
Blossomforth walked up to one of my beakers that contained a bubbling red liquid. “Yeah, I gathered that.”
I pointed to a beaker and tube system I had set up. “Right here, I’m trying to see if I can create a cheaper potion that would allow ponies to walk on clouds. Though thus far all I’ve been able to do is make ponies float without any control to where they are going. But that’s progress compared to my first attempt when the mixture caused a delayed concussive blast. So I think I’m getting there.” Failures were every bit as important as successes to science. A few explosions along the way was sometimes necessary to figure out what I was doing wrong.
Blossomforth had moved along the table until she got to a vial filled with a silvery white power next to a cup of tea I had forgotten there a day or two ago. “Uh, Twilight?” I wondered why she sounded so worried.
I turned towards Blossomforth. “Yes Blossomforth?” I asked eagerly. I could not wait to answer questions.
“Is this potassium you have right next to this tea?” She gulped as she looked between the two containers.
“Why yes it is.” I nodded my head sagely. “I see you must have taken some chemistry in school. I was using it try and create an elixir to create a more efficient fertilizer. Unfortunately, all my test subjects died.” I looked at the pots and withered husks that used to be my tomato plant test subjects. “Within hours...” I really needed Spike to clean those out and get me more plants. Science needed to march on, after all.
She looked back between the potassium, the tea next to it, and myself as she shifted uncomfortably from hoof to hoof. “And you don’t see anything wrong -- nevermind.” For some reason she gingerly slid the tea cup away from the potassium. It probably wasn’t anything important.
“Anything else you have questions about?” I asked eagerly. I smiled at her as she looked at my tables with increasingly wider eyes. I guess she was impressed by the setup I had. It was not as large as the one I had back at the university … before that one incident anyways, but I was still proud of it.
“No, I think I’d best not--I mean I’m good.” I frowned in disappointment as Blossomforth glance nervously from one half finished experiment to the next. She eventually found a place to stand as far away from the tables as the shield allowed. Maybe she just felt too awkward to ask questions about a topic she didn’t fully understand? That was fine, I still had two more stations to show her.
I stood up and trotted to where Blossomforth stood against the shield. “Come on, let me show you what else I have set up.” I opened up the shield and Blossomforth quickly stepped through the hole. Good, she seemed anxious to see what else I had to show her.
I hummed to myself as I walked to the next station. I opened it up and turned to motion for Blossomforth to go on in.
She stopped short of the shield as she looked inside. “You know Twilight, I was just here to look at the perfectly safe weather tracker, and-”
“Oh don’t be shy.” I pushed her into the protective shield and closed it after I followed her in.
Within the shield lay on the floor a series of large interlocking rings made of copper, silver, gold, and mythril. On each of the rings was a precisely carved series of runes and sigils I had carved into them. The summoning circle had taken a good month's hard work to get just right, and more than a few bits, but it had been worth it as far as I was concerned. Within the circle was a shifting mass of air, clouds, and wind. Blossomforth tilted her head as she examined what she was seeing.
I pointed at the summoning circle and beamed a smile at Blossomforth. “This here is my summoning circle. I use it to, well, summon things in addition to a few other purposes.”
Blossomforth raised a shaky hoof towards the mass of air. “A-and what is that exactly?”
My ears perked. Good, questions, I liked answering questions. I’m good at answering questions about things. “Oh, that’s the Elemental of Air and Intellect I summoned a while ago. His …. her … um, it’s name is kinda unpronounceable in Equestrian, so I just call him Calvariam. Say hi Calvariam.” I activated the spell I had inlaid into the circle to allow communication between equines and beings of other planes of existence. Handy if you want to have meaningful conversations with beings not of this world.
The mass of clouds shifted and a pair of glowing yellow eyes appeared at its center. Its voice sounded like a rush of air with a slight rumble of thunder. “Why hello Twilight Sparkle, it is oh so nice to see you again. And what’s this?” It turned its eyes to look Blossomforth up and down, and she took a couple steps back away from the circle while under its gaze. “My my, did you finally get yourself a date my darling? It was about time. I was worried your nethers would never find another ponies touch. Oh, and a delightful choice indeed. I do like the freckles, they really make her quite cute don’t you think? And those flan-”
Blossomforth let out a squeak and backed another couple of steps from the summoning circle. “I-it talks?”
“Calvariam,” I said in a warning tone. I swear, it was always like this. “Play nice. This is the first time I’ve let you near a guest, so I suggest you don’t ruin it for yourself or I might just send you back to where you came from.”
It turned its eyes back towards me. “Now now, lets not do anything hasty. I do rather enjoy what I can study on the material plane.” Even without pupils I got the sense s/he/it was looking out of the corner of its eyes at me. “The equine form is quite marvelous if you don’t mind me saying so.”
Blossomforth slowly started to approach the circle, and she looked up at Calvariam with her ears flat to her head. “Twilight, why in Equestria do you have something like this in your basement? And did that … thing make a pass at me?”
“Don’t worry, it’s perfectly harmless as long as-” My eyes widened when I saw just how close she had gotten to the circle. My horn glowed and a shield snapped up just short of the circle, and Blossomforth bumped into it with her snout.
She let out a complaining little groan and rubbed her nose. “What was that for?”
“First rule of summoning circles: never break the circle,” I warned. I pointed to just how close Blossomforth was to the edge of the circle. “Break the circle with anything material, and it gets out. That is generally classified as a Bad Thing to happen.” Blossomforth gulped and walked around the circle to place me between her and the summoning circle.
“Aw, so close,” Calvariam said in disappointment. “Almost as close as that time I convinced your familiar that I had candy.”
I groaned and rubbed my forehead. “To answer your question, I’m using him to do some research on the elemental plane of air. Its breadth of knowledge is quite impressive.”
Calvariam let out a chuckle. “Yes, she let me ride her in exchange for information.”
“Possess,” I quickly clarified as Blossomforth looked at me, mouth ajar. My redding cheeks were not helping my cause. “I let it possess me once for information. Under very controlled conditions.”
That had been true. We had signed a contract. It would give me considerable information on its plane in addition to other topics in exchange for letting it ri-possess me for a short period of time. I had very clearly outlined things it could and could not do. It could do nothing to leave the lab, harm me or others in any way, shape, or manner, or do anything else I could think of to get into trouble. All it wanted in exchange was access to my body and be allowed to read a single book of its choice. To be fair, it had kept its end of the bargain. But I had made a couple of mistakes when dealing with Calvariam. I did not check ahead of time what type of book it would want to read. I had only forbidden him from trying to read anything that would get me into trouble. It instead chose something considerably more embarrassing. And I had to sit there reading that book with it every paragraph of the way. It thought it was funny to tease me. Since then, I’ve kept it locked up in the circle to keep it from causing any further trouble.
I suddenly decided that Calvariam was just not ready for the public at large. “You know what, let’s just move on to the weather tracker.”
Blossomforth had by this point slowly backed into the shield and away from the being of air and intellect. “I think that’s a good idea.”
“I hope you two mares have fun with each other,” said Calvariam cheerfully. “Don’t be shy.”
I opened the shield and let the two of us out. It was time for the climax of the show anyways. We made our way to the last shield cylinder, and I opened it up with a push of magic.
“So, the weather tracker then?” asked Blossomforth hopefully.
I gave her a grin. “Yep, here it is.” I let her in and followed after her.
Inside was my weather tracker. If you chopped it in half, it would probably have filled up the main library. The magical computer was made up of a variety of different buttons, consoles, and levers, and a pair of wires ran up into the ceiling. The device hummed, glowed, and beeped as it monitored the local weather conditions through the sensors I had attached to the roof (Was that the word for the top of a library that was also a tree? Canopy perhaps? Note to self: research building codes involving buildings that were also trees so I know what to call the top of the place I live).
Blossomforth gave a squeal of delight upon seeing the weather tracker and galloped up to it. She began to run from on console to colsole to examine its various features. “It’s wonderful! Really, a Hoofington Grand Tracker 8000? How in the world did you manage to get one of these? I couldn’t afford it with a full year's wage, possibly not even three.” She turned to me with wide eyed wonderment. “And you keep this in your basement? There are weather teams that would kill for a piece of equipment like this.”
My ears lowered in embarrassment. “Well, I was really hoping to figure out a way to help the weather teams located along the length of the Everfree better track its weather.” I walked up to the weather tracker and began to play with some of its controls. “It’s not like normal weather in Equestria where all you have to do is track what the pegasi are doing and the weather patterns they create. The Everfree just creates its own weather, and causes all sorts of trouble for the weather ponies as a result.”
“Tell me about it,” Blossomforth groaned. She looked over the screen I had activated that showed the weather of the nearby section of the Everfree. “Nothing is more annoying than having your carefully planned and prepared weather blown away by some unexpected rogue storm from the Everfree.”
“I don’t doubt it.” I looked at the monitor and rumbled in disapproval. “Uh, still not enough range.” I turned my head away from the monitor and faced Blossomforth. “Unfortunately, my problem is that I don’t have enough range to really get a deep, penetrating scans of the Everfree’s weather.” I tapped on one of the screens. “So my data is too limited. All I’m getting it the very edge of whatever is coming our way. Which isn’t enough to really help predict future weather patterns.”
Blossomforth bent over a couple other screens and examined them with intense interest. “At least you can monitor all Ponyville’s weather. Seems the storm has already started.” She looked up at the ceiling. “That roof must be really thick if I can’t even hear the rain.”
“Yeah, that’s why I put most of this equipment down here. I can only hear thunder down here, for the most part. It helps me to concentrate on my work.” I trotted over next to her to see which screen she was watching the building storm outside.
She rubbed her chin and hummed to herself. “Have you heard of the new weather balloons Cloudsdale is developing? The ones that have divination talismans attached to them that allow for tracking weather at longer distances?”
I sat down besides the weather monitor and tapped the ground as I tried to recall if I had heard anything about what Blossomforth had mentioned. “No, I don’t believe I have. Sounds interesting.”
“Yeah.” She bobbed her head in excitement. “If you could get a few of those and get them keyed into this baby right here, and anchored them along the edge of the Everfree, I’m willing to bet you would get much better range and data as a result.”
I looked up and considered what she was suggesting. “That has some real possibilities.” I smiled at my scientific companion. “I’ll have to look into that. You can bet you will be the first one to find out when I do.” I used my levitation magic to pull a panel along the floor from the machine. “Thus far all I have been able to do is make some modifications to try and boost the power, but it still hasn’t been enough. But if your weather balloons work then we might be able to revolutionize the study of the Everfree’s weather.”
She gave me a wide smile. “That sounds like a great idea. It would certainly be nice to know what the Everfree is throwing at us for once.”
Blossomforth walked up to where I had removed the panel and bent down to look at the guts of the machine. She whistled when she got a look. “Yeah, it looks like you did a real number to this thing to upgrade its performance. It’s hard to tell where the original parts start and the custom job ends.” She hummed to herself as she examined my work. “Hey, aren’t you putting a lot of stress on the central spell matrix here? All this extra power is really pushing it to its limits.”
I knelt down next to Blossomforth, and she pointed to the spell matrix she was referencing to. “Oh, yeah, that’s why I installed a couple of fail safes in the event anything should go wrong. They should keep any magical backlashes or fluctuations under control. Worst comes to worst, it should just shut down until I repair it.”
“If you say so.” For some reason, Blossomforth sounded less than convinced. She crawled out of the weather tracker and stretched her back with a few pops as she stood up. She sighed and frowned at me. “Twilight … don’t you think that … well, isn’t this whole place a big old disaster waiting to happen?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Blossomforth glanced back and forth along the shield walls. “This whole place looks like it is about to explode! The dangerously laid out alchemy lab, that thing you keep in the easily-escapable circle, your weather tracker that’s one bad jolt from blowing a fuse, it seems you're just setting yourself up for Bad Things to happen.”
I gave the shield a couple of hard knocks. “That’s what these are for obviously. Even if there’s an incident with one of my experiments, these shields will contain it. I might lose one of the experiment stations, but nopony should get hurt. I made sure the shield for the alchemy lab is specifically designed to resist burns and explosions. Even if Calvariam should be able to escape the circle due to some mishap, it will just return to its plane within a minute’s time without the circle’s energy holding him together and nopony to inhabit. The shield should be more than strong enough to give entropy time to do its job.” I tapped the weather track a couple of times. “And this is a simple weather tracker, it’s not like its highly explosive or anything. It’s shield is more to protect it from the other experiments then anything.”
Blossomforth placed a hoof against the shield and gave it a good shove. “Are you sure they are sturdy enough to take enough punishment should anything happen?”
It was like she did not have any confidence in my safety features. I gave the shield a good bucking to show its solidity. I told myself that the fact it had hurt my rear hooves more than it did the shield was a good sign. “Trust me, I learned how to cast shield spells from the best. My big brother is the premier shield caster in all of Equestria, and you better believe he taught me the ins and outs of the spell and its variants. My brother takes two things very seriously, shields and the safety of his little sis. Granted, I didn’t think he was doing a very good job of it while making me balance a bucket full of cold water on my head while tossing tennis balls at me, but the training paid dividends later on.” The fact I had managed to block Discord’s chaos magic long enough to use the Elements of Harmony said that much.
Blossomforth chewed on her bottom lip. “If you say so. I’m just a bit concerned for your safety is all. The shields still wouldn’t protect you if you were inside them when something bad should happen.”
“Hello, most magically talented unicorn in Equestria,” I said confidently. “I can take care of myself, you know.” To show this, I brought up a personal shield that gave me protection from all directions with my magic. I then opened up a hole in the shield wall for the weather tracker, and teleported outside of both shields. I waved at Blossomforth from outside the shield, and I closed the hole in the shield. I then teleported back into the personal shield I had placed inside of the weather tracker’s shield and then dispelled the personal shield.
Blossomforth whistled at my little display of magic. “See.” I bowed to her with a flourish. “I’m more than capable of either protecting myself or escaping in the event of an emergency. The only way things could truly get serious is if all the shields were dropped at the same time. And really, you would either have to be insane or incompetent to do that and--” I would have gone with my explanation, but it was at that point when all the shields were dropped.
“SPIKE!” I yelled, knowing exactly who the perpetrator was. I turned quickly towards the doorway to the lab to see my number one assistant. Spike was holding a brass tube with arcane runes crafted all along its surface, as I knew he would be. He chuckled when he saw us and tried to hold the talisman keyed to the basement shields behind his back. “What have I told you time and again about laboratory safety procedures and the shields? You mind explaining yourself, buster?”
“Oh come on, Twilight,” Spike pleaded. “It’s so inconvenient to have to clean down here when I run into one of your stupid shields everytime I turn around.”
I groaned angrily and rubbed my face. “Those inconvenient shields are designed to keep everypony -- and everydragon -- safe. You can’t just lower all of them at the same time without it becoming a safety hazard.”
Spike stomped a foot on the ground and moaned. “But the noise from the shields hurts my ears and gives me a headache. I don’t like working around them. They weren’t designed with a dragon’s hearing in mind you know.”
“Spike,” I trotted up to a table placed next to the doorway to the lab with various pieces of safety equipment, and slammed a paper on the wall. “Remember this safety checklist I put here for you to sign off on every time you come down to the lab? I got you those custom made earplugs and ear-mitts for a reason. Did you even plan on putting on any of this safety equipment I got for you?” Did he even understand how much extra it cost me to get safety equipment specifically to fit a baby dragon? There was not exactly a market for that type of thing.
He crossed his arms over his chest and glared up at me. It could get annoying how stubborn Spike could become when he chose to be. “All I’m doing is cleaning. Not like I’m going to be mixing chemicals or whatever you’re doing down that is always causing a ruckus.”
“Just give me the talisman, Spike.” I extended a hoof out to Spike. “You clearly aren’t responsible enough to be allowed to use that. We have a guest over anyways, so I don’t really want to get into an argument with you in front of her. I’m putting the shields back up and that’s that.”
Spike placed his claws on his hips. “No, I’ve got cleaning to do down here, and I don’t like the shields up when I do that.”
If he was not going to give it to me, then I was just going to have to take it away. I used my levitation to get a grasp of the talisman and started to pull on it to get it away from Spike. “Give it over, we can have a talk about laboratory safety later after Blossomforth leaves.”
Spike grasped the talisman in both claws and refused to let go as I slowly dragged him across the ground. “No, I’m busy cleaning.”
What had gotten into him all of a sudden? Blossomforth seemed content to stay out of our quasi-sibling argument considering she was standing to the side and trying to not be noticed. We struggled back and forth over the talisman for a minute as I tried to shake it from Spike’s grip, but his grasp was surprisingly strong for just being a baby dragon. He was getting his whole body into the act when he suddenly spun and slammed right into me. He nearly knocked me over, and I had to stumble a bit before I regained my balance.
“Ouch! Watch it Spike!” I lost my concentration on my levitation spell. The sudden loss of an opposing force caused Spike to lose his balance and he fell to the floor. He lost his grip on the talisman, and it went sliding off along the floor, coming to a stop under one of my alchemy tables.
“I’ll get it, I’ll get it,” Spike grumbled. He picked himself off the ground and ran over to climb under the table.
I rubbed my leg and shoulder where Spike had collided with me. “Spike, be careful under there.” I swear, he lives to vex me sometimes.
“Got it,” I heard from under the table.
I lowered my head in time to see Spike try and stand up, only to hit his head against the bottom of the table. I glanced up and saw a couple of beakers and vials start to sway and threaten to fall. I tried to grab as many as I could with my telekinesis before they could fall over, but I was not fast enough and a couple of instruments came crashing down. A couple of the liquids combined on the tabletop and started to hiss and bubble. I noticed that Spike was right under where the chemical reaction was happening, and I yanked on my assistant before the chemical finished burning its way through the table and fall onto the floor where Spike had been standing.
My heart thumped in my chest at the serious accident that had nearly happened. I carefully gave Spike a visual examination to make sure he had not gotten any of the substance on him. “Are you okay? You didn’t get any of that stuff on you, did you?”
Spike rubbed the top of his head where he had hit the table. “I’m fine, but did you have to yank me so hard? You made me drop the talisman, and now it’s...” He stopped when he looked at the slowly melting table and floor.
I looked under the table and saw that Spike had indeed dropped the talisman under the table … where it was now melting. Perfect, just perfect, now there was no way to easily put the shields back up. I could do it manually, but that took a few minutes.
“Uh, Twilight.” Blossomforth trotted up next to me. “Aren’t those shields supposed to keep some great disaster from happening?”
“Yes, yes they are Blossomforth.” I dragged Spike further away from the alchemy tables to keep him safe and waved for Blossomforth to come with me.
“Then I think we should be a bit concerned.” She pointed a shaking hoof at the slowly growing hole in the table and floor. “So do you know how much that acid is going to end up melting before its done?”
I looked at the acid and my eyes widened. That was not good. “Err, good question. Let me check.” I began to levitate all the materials from the gradually eroding table to the one that was still fine. While doing that I trotted up to a nearby blackboard and picked up a piece of chalk. “Alright, I think that was my mixtures of Benson’s Reactive Elixir and Blackroot Extract. So...” I began to quickly write down the two alchemical substances chemical bonds and then put them together. “Oh dear...” I did not like what I was seeing. That stuff was way too reactive to make me comfortable.
“What? What is it?” asked Blossom. She kept a cautious distance from the hole as she walked up to look at the chalkboard. “That stuff is going to stop soon, right?”
“Uh, eventually.” After it lowers the library into a sinkhole. I took a moment to think, and then began to make additions to the chemical bonds I had already written down. “Spike, grab some of the salt from the shelf and put it in a circle around the chemical. Carefully! I think that should counteract the stuff.”
Spike raised an eyebrow at me. “Should?”
I did not have time for this. “Just do it Spike, you’re in enough hot water without you arguing with me right now.” Spike grumbled something under his breath He walked over to the shelves and started to quickly rummage through them to find the salt as I instructed. The good news was that the chemical burn was not spreading that quickly.
Blossomforth pointed at the doorway leading out of the lab. “Perhaps now would be a good time for me to leave. Seems you’re really busy with the whole keeping your lab from melting thing.”
She moved towards the door when there the sound of thunder boomed through the library. There was a scream of surprise from only Blossomforth as the lights in the basement went out. The weather tracker shot out sparks and two of the consoles blew out completely. We were left with no lighting but the sparks and flashing monitors of the weather tracker. At least until I lit my horn with magic anyways, but it was still pretty dark in the room.
Blossomforth slowly stood up from her hunkered down stance on the floor and looked at the weather tracker. “Uh, Twilight? I’m really not liking how that thing sounds right now.”
Neither did I honestly. All the sparks and irregular, labored humming it was giving off were not good indicators for its operating condition. I moved over to the machine and gave it a cautious look over. It looked like several circuits had been fried, and a couple of screens had blown out. Two consoles looked completely ruined--one’s top had blown completely off, leaving nothing but burned wired hanging out, while the other only had a flickering blue screen and was constantly shooting off sparks. I began to pull off one of the weather tracker’s panels to see what was wrong inside when I head Spike call from across the room.
“Uh, Twilight, can you come back this way? I can’t see without the light of your horn.” I heard the sound of several boxes and glasses falling onto the floor. “And I’m having trouble finding the salt. Where did all of that stuff go?”
I yelled across the room. “If you can’t see, look for the chemical glow sticks on the table by the entrance to the lab Spike. You know, with all the safety equipment I tell you to use but you don’t?” I heard more crashing and the breaking of glass from across the room. This evening was shaping up nicely. “And watch the floor near the tables. Go around the edge of the room if you have to, but do not step in that chemical!”
I knew the chemical was only slowly eating its way through everything, but I had no idea how bad the weather tracker was. Given how my life had gone up to this juncture, I was just going to guess that whatever had happened to my weather tracker, it was bad. So I decided to check with the disaster I knew the least about, and hope Spike would pull through on the other one that was only slowly going to turn my home into hole in the ground.
“I’ll see if I can help Spike out there,” said Blossomforth.
I gave her a nod of my head in agreement. “That would be a big help, thanks.” I went back to looking inside the weather tracker. Smoke filled the machine, and I tried to wave the putrid vapors away so that I could look at the mangled interior.
Blossomforth trotted over to the table and grabbed a chem stick. She picked one up from the table, bent it in half for a second, and then shook it vigorously to light a portion of the room in a green glow. She slowly walked into the center of the room, and lit more of it up. Glancing over I could now see Spike fumbling his way around the edge of the room, and … watched as Spike’s foot hit the edge of my summoning circle. His arms flailed as he tried to regain his balance, but he lost the battle and he tripped and fell right into the middle of the circle.
There was an audible pop and crack as the magical forces that held Calvariam in place broke. There was a rush of air and wind that moved about the room and blew light objects about. The airflow suddenly coalesced near the roof, and then struck down on Blossomforth. She screeched and fell to the floor as the wind blew over her and formed a small storm around her. The storm swirled about her trembling form for several seconds before slowly diminishing in strength. After slowly removing her shaking hooves from her eyes, Blossomforth looked around the room cautiously. “What in all of Equestria was that?”
“Oh, that was just me jumping on for a ride,” came a deep, wheezing voice from Blossomforth’s mouth.
She let out a high pitch squeal and put her hooves over her mouth. I noticed that her eyes had taken on a yellowish glow. Oh this was perfect, just perfect. Exactly what I needed right now on top of everything else.
Blossomforth cautiously moved her hooves away from her mouth. She looked at me and trembled slightly. “Twilight, would you mind explaining what’s going on?”
I really did not have time for this. Not with everything going wrong at exactly the same time. But things were not going to get easier if I had Blossomforth panicking on me to add to my problems of my weather tracker possibly exploding, or that gradually growing hole of acid. So I had little choice but to try and quickly reassure Blossomforth everything was going to be okay, even if the whole situation was falling apart. I moved my front two hooves in a calming motion. “It’s alright Blossomforth, Calvariam only possessed you. It’s not a huge deal, and we’ll fix it in good time.”
“N-not a b-big d-deal,” she spluttered out. She pointed a shakily at her head. “There is another--thing in my head!”
“Well, not so much in your head as attached to your soul really,” added Calvariam not-so-helpfully. “It’s kind of a metaphysical thing. If it makes you feel any better, I’m in no way parasitic in nature. I just jumped onto your soul and took up residence so that I didn’t have to return to my home plane. It can get so boring there after a few millennia of existence.”
Hmm, it seemed that the glowing in Blossomforth’s eyes increased when Calvariam was speaking. I wonder if that was due to it imparting its new physical presence to us, or a result of him using more power to--not now Twilight. Keep things from exploding now, metaphysics and the nature of possessions later.
“Calvarim, would you kindly stop harassing Blossomforth. I’m trying to save my laboratory thank-you-very-much.” I could not help but glance at the weather tracker and its violently sparking ways. “Look, I need you to stay calm. I know its scary, but Calvariam can’t actually hurt you. All it can do it talk through your voicebox, and a few other relatively harmless things. Trust me, it can be annoying at times … most of the time--well, just about all the time, but it isn’t malicious.”
“Quite right,” said Calvariam. Endless Night, that was creepy to see another voice coming out of Blossomforth’s mouth. It was slightly distracting me from trying to keep my basement from becoming a national disaster area. “I can’t really take control of your body … much anyways. Not enough to matter. But I can do nifty things like read your active thoughts. Can’t just peruse through you memories like they were an open book, but there are ways around that for a clever being of air and intellect such as myself. For instance, I don’t know if you have any romantic interests, but if I ask you if you ‘do have secret crushes,’ you are likely to start thinking about that. So I’m curious, do you have any secret crushes?”
Blossomforth gave a squeaking sound. She looked up and looked around with her eyes as though trying to see Calvariam. “Hey, don’t just go looking at my thoughts. Those are private! As in not for you to know!”
“Hmmm, oh, I see,” Calvariam said mischievously. “I do approve. Quite the nice flank on that one. It is quite easy to see why you are pining after her.”
She covered her ears with her hooves and squinted her eyes close. “I don’t care if it isn’t malicious,” she protested loudly. “Get this thing out of me now! I don’t want it reading my thoughts about--things I don’t want to talk about.” She looked around suspiciously and lowered her head as she whispered to me. “Besides, you know how weird it is for this thing to be speaking with my mouth?”
“Hey, no one be concerned about me over here or anything,” protested Spike. He rubbed his face where it had collided with the floor. He slowly picked himself up from the floor, and glowered at the two--three of us. “Just ignore the baby dragon who fell on the floor. He’s probably just fine.”
The humming and throbbing noise from the weather tracker was picking up at a threatening pace. I was having trouble not paying attention to both it, and giving Blossomforth at least most of my attention. “I’m sorry, but I need to deal with some of the other things that are threatening to cause a completely disaster right now.”
“Indeed, let the silly girl play around with her explosive instruments,” Calvariam said with amusement. “Besides, think of all the fun the two of us could have. You know, if you let me help you I could get you into the sack of that hot lavender flank. Within the hour she will be like butter in your hooves with my knowledge and the many fine features you bring to the table. Here, let me give you a few images to give you an idea of what you can look forward to. Just imagine her in a nice pair of socks, oh my.”
Blossomforth’s eyes widened in horror and embarrassment. She grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me violently. “Twilight! Get! This! Thing! Out! Of! My! Head! It’s putting images in there, and I do not like it!”
I was not going to get anything productive done with Blossomforth shaking me around like a ragdoll, and things were moving way too quickly for me to just sit there and let the desperate mare give me whiplash. “Alright, alright, I just need a few things to help you!” I managed to finally get break her grasp on me. I had to take a moment to shake my head to make the room stop spinning. “Get me some chalk, silver dust, and … salt, yes, help Spike get that salt he was looking for earlier. That’s all I need to banish Calvariam properly.” Maybe if I could get her to help me we would be able to get through this without me having to explain to Mayor Mare why Ponyville had a new water reservoir where the library used to be.
Blossomforth nodded quickly in affirmation. “Chalk, silver, salt, right! I’ll find those, and be back as quickly as I can.” She galloped over to my ingredient shelves and desperately began to shuffle her way through them. And by that, I mean she would look at something and then shove it to the floor when it was not what she was looking for. I could already hear the sound of bits falling out of my coin purse. It sounded like breaking glass and metal containers hitting the floor.
With Blossomforth’s helpfulness now a debatable thing, I lowered myself to the floor, and stuck my head into the open panel of the weather tracker.
“Hey, don’t break everything,” I heard Spike protest. “I have to organize and clean all of that you know.”
“So I guess this panicked searching is a no to the idea of sexy time then?” asked Calvariam in disappointment. “Have you ever imagined her with a wet mane? Like ... this. It’s raining outside after all.”
I tried to ignore the horrified screech as I tried to examine the damage done to the weather tracker. By the looks of it a lightning strike ran through it and fried large portions of the arcane circuitry. I got to the heart of the machine and examined the central spell matrix. What I saw was not comforting. The arcane sphere was badly cracked. It was giving a nasty hissing noise as black smoke escaped it. Looking around I saw that the failsafes I had installed had completely melted, and the auto-shutoff was nice and crispy. The fact that the manual shutoff was now a pile of steaming, melted goo on the floor of the weather tracker was not a fact of comfort.
I licked my lips as I considered what I was looking at. I thought I might be able to stave off a disaster if I could quickly disable and disconnect the central spell matrix. It would not be easy with three quarters of the nearby systems zapped into oblivion, but I am a genius like that. Perhaps genius enough to avoid mass property damage. Well--more than had already been suffered, I’m not perfect.
I began to get to work to save the weather tracker and I unhooked a couple of its connections. Things were going pretty well until I suddenly felt a hoof grope along my plot. I let out a yelp and I jerked up to slam my head against the central spell matrix. Which was about as good as you would expect for the spell matrix and my now throbbing head. One of the cracks on the spell matrix had widened and more ominous smoke was billowing out of it. Guessing what the problem was, I looked down to see a white hoof jerk itself away from my rump and heard Blossomforth squeak out from outside the machine. It seems Blossomforth had just discovered that Calvariam could control her limbs if she was not paying attention, not the best timing for that type of thing.
I growled and shoved myself out of the weather tracker. “Calvariam, what the hay!” I really did not need these types of shenanigans right now. I saw Blossomforth and Spike both standing besides the weather tracker. Blossomforth face was starting take on a nice reddish tone that spoke volumes of her guilt. Spike was glaring at her and was tapping his foot in annoyance.
Blossomforth waved her hooves at me. “It wasn’t me. M-my hoof acted on its own.”
“No, that was my bad,” chuckled Calvariam.
I messaged my forehead where I had hit my head. “Uh, watch your hooves. Calvariam can move your limbs a little bit if you aren’t paying attention. Did you get the components I asked for at least?” It would perhaps have been more prudent to have gone right back to working on the weather tracker, but I had been quite distracted by Calvariam’s--antics. The book I had found his name in said he was ‘Safe but Annoying,’ and I now understood why the ‘annoying’ part of that statement had been both bolded and triple underlined. Ponies tended to do that type of thing for good reasons in summoning books.
Blossomforth hurriedly dropped a piece of chalk and a small metal contained on the floor in front of me. “We found the chalk and silver, but not the salt.”
I took my two forehooves and began to rub my face in irritation. This was going to be even harder than I originally calculated. “Spike, what happened to all the salt we had down here? You know we are supposed to keep a solid stock of the stuff at all times.”
Spike tapped his chin with a talon. Realization dawned in his eyes, and he slapped his forehead with a claw. “That’s right, we ran out of salt upstairs, so I borrowed the salt from the lab to eat with. I guess I forgot to return it when I was done, sorry.”
“Spike!” I groan angrily. Spike was being an endless source of problems today. “Lab ingredients are not to be used for food. Did you not read the laboratory safety guidelines list I-just forget it. Just go and-”
I became very aware of a couple of things happening in the lab. I saw in the light of the glowstick that the chemical burn was on the verge of eating its way through the other alchemy tables nearer legs and also all the material components Spike and Blossomforth have dumped on the floor. The fact that the weather tracker was now pumping out a disturbing amount of smoke and sparks was also a worrying trend that I could not ignore. In short, I was out of time to manage this disaster.
“Oh buck it,” I said with finality. I tossed a shield up around Spike, Blossomforth, and I (I guess Calvariam counts too, due to being in the right place, at the right time).
I honestly can not tell you what finally did it. It could easily have been any of the somewhat dangerous alchemical and chemical material components in the lab interacting with any variety of other dangerous substances, heat, or energy. It may very well have been my weather tracker. In the end, Blossomforth had been right. I had placed too much stress on the central spell matrix, and it was probably only a matter of time for something to go wrong with that. Perhaps my summoning circle had simply gotten tired with being left out, and it had also decided to dog pile onto the disaster wage. Maybe all three of my lab stations simply decided to conspire against me and meltdown at the exact same time. Didn’t really matter in the end in the grand scheme of things really. All that mattered were the results.
The basement exploded.
***
I walked out of the smoke filled basement with an unconscious Blossomforth held in my levitation field and Spike on my back. My mane and coat were a mess from the smoke, ash, and I did not want to know what else. Blossomforth was not in any better shape, and you would have trouble telling what color Spike’s scales were. Luckily my shield had held and had absorbed the worst of the explosion. Though it didn’t prevent the floor from under my protective bubble from getting blown away and sending the lot of us rolling around the library. But all things considered it could have been worse.
I dumped Spike unceremoniously on the floor, and gently placed Blossomforth onto the main library room floor. I was sore, I was tired, I ached, and I was not in a good mood.
“Spike,” I said with barely contained fury. I prodded my ‘number one assistant.’ “Spike.”
Spike rolled over and away from me. “Uh, just five more minutes.”
“Spike!” I snapped at him.
He slowly sat up and rubbed his head. “Alright, alright, I’m up.” He looked up into my seething glare. “Oh, so I guess everyone’s okay?” He attempted an innocent smile. It was compromised by his guilt.
“Spike,” I spoke so cooly the temperature of the room likely dropped. “The library basement exploded. Everything down there is on fire. My lab and months of work has either been destroyed or is having its combustibility sorely tested as we speak.” I lowered my head to Spike’s level and looked him right in the eyes. “Do you know why this has happened, Spike?”
Spike raise a single claw and smiled with embarrassment. “Rotten luck?”
My glare did not soften. My tone of voice did not change from its icy inflection. “Because someone did not follow proper lab safety procedure, Spike.” The mask broke, and my fiery rage came out. My mane was smoking. I hoped it was not on fire. “That talisman is for Emergencies Only, Mister!”
“The basement only explod-” He withered when I intensified my glare. “Okay, yeah, you win this one. This was kinda my bad.”
“Spike, I just...” My eye twitched. “Just-” I gave a loud groan of frustration. I jabbed a hoof in the direction of the door to the library basement. “Clean it up,” I said with finality.
Spike looked at the doorway and then back to me. “But it’s on fire.”
I trembled. “You. Are. Fireproof!” I gestured sharply at the door again. “Put it out and clean it up!”
Spike groaned in irritation. “Fine, figures you would remember that I can’t burn.” He stood up from the floor and stomped angrily down the stairs into the basement.
I watched him drop down out of view. “I love that little dragon, but--Gaagh!” I turned to face Blossomforth. “And as for you...” My horn glowed and a trio of glowing bands of magic formed to hold Blossomforth onto the ground.
“Oh, hey, that isn’t very neighborly,” said a voice that came out of Blossomforth’s mouth but was not her own. Glowing yellow eyes snapped open, and her head turned as best it could to look at me. “Hm, seems you weren’t convinced with my playing dead trick. But really, come now, I was just hoping to have a bit of fun before I had to go.”
I began to trot to the kitchen. “Nope, it is past time for you to be evicted, Calvariam. You’re late on the rent, you created a mess in your living space, and you disturb the neighbors. You ... are ... done.”
“Oh come now,” pleaded Calvariam, “don’t be like that. We had plenty of intellectual discussions that you found useful. So I took your friend for a ride. No big deal. I can’t actually do anything without her permission. Besides, I think I could give her some help with her relationship issues. The poor mare really could use some action in her life.”
I came out of the kitchen with the cylinder of salt that should have been in the basement to prevent an explosion. Not its first intended purpose, but life works in funny ways sometimes. I began to pour it in a circle around Blossomforth’s body. “Sorry, Calvariam, but my patience is at an end. Maybe I’ll summon you again when I’m not so short on patience, but for now you need to go.” I tossed the empty container of salt, and began to cast the complicated spell. This was going to take a bit out of me without the silver dust from downstairs, but I would just have to do without.
Blossomforth’s mouth formed a frown. “You know, you really just need to relax and-” Whatever it had been about to say was cut off when I cast the first part of the spell was cast. Calvariam was drawn out as a gust of wind from Blossomforth’s mouth. I held the mass of air together over Blossomforth’s prone form. “Call me,” begged the air elemental. With a final effort of will and magic I finished the banishment spell, and the mass of air and wind lost strength and dissipated as Calvariam returned to its home plane.
I fell to my knees briefly as I tried to catch my breath. The last hour had been on the unexpectedly trying end of things. Remembering something I had read in the book that I had discovered Calvariam, I crawled over to Blossomforth and lowered my head to her mouth. As I feared, she was not breathing. The book had warned that forcefully expunging the air elemental might ‘steal the subjects breath away.” Luckily, there was a relatively easy way to correct the problem, if on the slightly embarrassing side of things. All one had to do was ‘give the victim a breath’ to correct the problem. I figured Blossomforth would be more concerned about her lack of breathing then what I was about to do. I’m sure she would understand once I explained it to her.
I steeled my nerves, and I bent down to lock lips with Blossomforth and breathed a breath into her. Her eyes snapped open in surprise, and she took in a staggered breath.
This is of course when Cloud Kicker charged into the library’s front door.
Cloud Kicker was breathing heavily and was soaking wet from the storm outside. She looked down at the two of us. Our lips were still locked, but we were too horrified and shocked to stop as we both looked at Cloud Kicker with wide eyes.
She grinned at the two of us. “I have no idea what is going on here, but I want in on it.” She pointed straight up. “Because the banging is literally loud enough for me to hear it clear from cloud level.”
The universe is conspiring against me. What other explanation was there?
I had been slogging my way through the muddy trail leading out of the Everfree Forest and back to Ponyville. The rainstorm from yesterday had turned the various trails around Ponyville into a quagmire. I had been concentrating on keeping one hoof moving forward after another without slipping and falling into the gunk when I heard that melodious voice of hers.
“Oh, hello, Twilight,” Fluttershy said. I turned to look at my friend as she flew up from behind me. She gracefully landed with a few flaps of her wings, and she smiled warmly at me. Normally I love to see Fluttershy. Then again, she wasn’t normally covered in snakes. Coiled around Fluttershy were what had to be at least three dozen snakes, slithering and hissing as they moved about her body.
“Snaaakes!” I teleported into a nearby tree as part of a completely rational and measured response to the situation.
Fluttershy cringed away from me when I screamed at the scaled abominations infringing upon her body. She turned to look up at me as I precariously tried to balance myself on the branch I had landed on. “Um, is everything okay Twilight? You … seem to be up that tree for some reason.”
I tightened my grip on the branch I was sitting on to try and keep from falling. “Oh, everything is fine, just fine.” I forced out a chuckle. “I’m just … I suddenly decided to start climbing this tree–with magic. I used to like climbing trees all the time as a filly. So here I am, climbing trees, see?” I quickly switched to another branch when the one I had been using for support gave out beneath me and fell to the ground. I could have just told Fluttershy that I hated snakes, and that I didn’t want those things anywhere near me, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. She could be pretty sensitive at times, and her love for animals somehow extended even to something as horrendous as snakes.
“Um, okay.” Fluttershy turned her head away so that her face was obscured by her mane. “What were you doing in the Everfree Forest?”
One of my hooves slipped and scraped a strip of the bark right off the tree, but I managed to catch myself before tumbling over. This may not have been the smartest place for me to teleport to upon reflection. “I was just visiting Zecora and picking up some tea and a couple potions.” And also Cloud Kicker’s unmentionable potions ... Picking up those potions for my perverted study subject had gotten a raised eyebrow from her. My vehement objections about what I intended to do with those potions seemed to do nothing to correct her misunderstanding. After some amused chuckling, she gave some advice on certain subjects I wouldn’t feel comfortable repeating. I did not need advice on topics like positions. Even if what she wanted to talk about did offer an interesting insight into zebra culture, the context made things slightly more awkward than I cared to discuss with her. The rhyming didn’t help either.
At least I had gotten the teas to help with my headaches. The dull throb in the back of my head since the beginning of this convoluted study of Cloud Kicker suggested I was going to need plenty of the stuff to drink. Already this study was proving to have far more complications than I liked.
“That sounds nice,” said Fluttershy nervously. I couldn’t actually tell if she was really looking at me through her mane or not. “Y-you could come down and talk, you know.”
A few glances from those nasty things’ beady little eyes and hisses my way were all that I needed to convince me to stay right where I was. The risk of a broken limb was worth keeping as much distance from myself and them. “I think I’m good for the moment. I went through all this effort to get up here after all.” Fluttershy frowned and looked down at the ground. I felt guilty for seeming to shut down the conversation. “So what are you up to? I can’t help but notice all those–” I gulped, “–snakes all over you.”
Fluttershy looked up at me and gave me one of those wonderfully kind smiles of hers. “Oh, I’m just taking these poor dears to some nice new burrows.” She nuzzled one of the scaly monsters. “I’m afraid they have already overburdened their ... prey around their old burrows. So it’s time to move them to new ones so that they can eat.” She visibly cringed at that last statement. This topic looked like it was almost causing her physical pain given how much trouble she was having talking about it.
I nodded slowly and tried to not concentrate on all those snakes crawling their way all over her. “Right, sure, a regular migration type of thing.” That made sense considering Fluttershy was Ponyville’s local animal caretaker. I supposed I shouldn’t be surprised Fluttershy would have to deal with things even as vile and repulsive as snakes. I mean, seriously, the things ate other creatures. That pleasant thought brought another question to mind. “Where are these burrows, exactly?”
Fluttershy pointed in the general direction of Ponyville. “Oh, a little bit behind the library. There are some really nice burrows that haven’t been used in a while, so I want to move them over there.”
I nearly tumbled out of the tree when this news hit me. “B-b-behind where?” I didn’t like this bit of information, not at all. “Wh-what’s w-wrong with Whitetail Woods? Or their old burrows?” Or anywhere that was nice and distant from my home … and me. That would be nice.
She looked back up at me and gave me a concerned frown. “Um, I'm afraid the badgers and shrews already have the burrows of Whitetail Woods reserved right now, and they don't get along with the snakes very well.” She scraped a hoof along the ground. “I don’t like having to break up arguments, so I just prefer to keep them separate.”
Fluttershy must be some sort of saint to be able to be concerned about those scaly serpents, much less let them touch her. “So there isn’t anywhere else besides near the library that you can relocate them to? There has to be other places, right?”
She took a moment to consider what I asked, then shook her head. “I’m afraid not. I keep track of which burrows are currently suitable for habitation, and the library’s burrows would just be perfect for these darlings.” She tilted her head as she looked up at me and gave me a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry Twilight, they know better than to bite ponies. They’re more scared of you than you are of them anyways.” The chorus of hisses that came up my way made me question her judgment on that matter. “You’ll hardly even notice that they’re even by the library, if you’re worried they’ll bother you and Spike.”
Just knowing that snakes were going to be near my home was more than enough to disturb me. I did not want the slithery things to be my new next door neighbors. I wondered if there was some way I could convince her to not move the reptiles near the library? “Um, I’m not sure the burrows by the library would be the best place for them if I’m going to be honest.” Kinda-sorta-honest, it was certainly my opinion that having a bunch of nasty, biting, poisonous snakes near my home was bad.
Fluttershy’s lips scrunched up in thought. “Don’t worry, I know what I’m doing. They’ll be just fine behind the library, trust me.” One of the snakes crawled its way through her mane, and actually seemed to nuzzle Fluttershy affectionately. I discounted that idea immediately--how could a cold-blooded meat eater like that care for a pony?
I tried to think of anything that could save me from the terrible fate Fluttershy was about to deliver right to my backyard. Maybe... “Oh, it’s just that I’m doing a lot of experiments in the basement. Seismic stuff. The type of seismic stuff that isn’t good for snakes and their tunnels--nope, not at all!” I forced a smile on my face. That could become technically true. I now had plenty of space in the basement where I could run some seismic experiments that may or not may not negatively affect snakes. It’s not a lie if you make it true after the fact, right?
“Oh ... really? That doesn’t sound good...” Fluttershy shoulders slumped and she gave me a pouty face. I immediately started to regret what I had said as I looked down at depressed form of Fluttershy. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, Twilight.” She pawed at the ground slowly as she looked at the ground. “But could you please hold off on the experiments until winter? If it’s not too much trouble. I can move them again when we switch over to winter weather and take them to warmer burrows, but they really need to eat right now so they won't be hungry when winter comes.” She looked back up at me and pleaded with me with her eyes. My heart was breaking just looking into those blueish-green orbs.
My resolve started to waver. “Um ... well maybe, I might be able to...”
I could see tears forming in Fluttershy’s eyes. “Please, Twilight. As a friend, could you do this for me? I know how important science is to you, but I don't know what I will do if those burrows aren't any good for these poor little dears.”
I almost broke, but a look at the cold, merciless glares from the snakes hardened my resolve, barely. “But they're really important experiments ... for science ... and stuff...” I was sure I could come up with something important enough to justify this. Maybe I could make it up to Fluttershy later?
Fluttershy looked away from me and started to go back down the path towards the Everfree. “Well, if it’s that important ... I guess I’ll try and figure something out.” She sniffled and stuttered. “I guess I could go back out to Froggy Bottom Bog. T-the hydra has p-probably migrated away by now ... probably.”
That did it. I couldn’t do that to her. “No wait, Fluttershy!” I teleported back down to the path a little ahead of Fluttershy. “Okay-fine-I'll-stop-the-experiments!” I gulped, committing myself to at least a few months of quiet terror. “B-but could they just stay out of sight, and out of the way. And out of the library. And its lawn. There are plenty of ... things in the library they shouldn’t be near.”
That seemed to pull Fluttershy out of her gloomy mood. “Oh thank you, Twilight. Don’t worry, you’ll hardly even notice these darlings. They’re kind of shy around ponies, anyway.” A menacing hiss I received from one of the snakes made me disagree with my friend. “I’ll make sure to ask them all to stay away from the library itself.”
I suddenly realized I was much too close to the snakes covering Fluttershy to feel remotely comfortable, and I teleported back into a nearby tree--for tree climbing, you see. “Please do, I’d hate for anything to happen to them.” I’m not sure if the expression on my face was a smile or a grimace.
“I will, I promise.” She flapped her wings and flew up near me in the tree, her sudden approach and lack of room for me to escape nearly caused me to slip and fall again. She frowned at me as I regained my grip on the branch I was on. “You really should be more careful with your experiments. I heard from Derpy a little bit ago that you had another explosion in the library.”
Oh right, that. “It was just a small one--minor damage by my standards,” I tried to reassure her. “I was showing Blossomforth around my lab down in the basement. Unfortunately, Spike decided to lower the protective shields I had set up down there. We got into an argument about safety procedures in the lab, there was a minor accident, and there was a bit of a chain reaction.” I groaned in exasperation. “I lost a huge chunk of my lab equipment in the explosion.”
She flew a bit closer to let me hear her whisper. “You didn’t lose everything again did you?”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Pretty much, yes.”
Fluttershy grimaced at the news. “I'm so sorry to hear that. With all those experiments gone ... I hope the seismic experiment isn't the only one you were planning on doing? I would hate to hear that you can’t do any of your experiments because of me.”
“Seismic exp--Oh no, that’s fine, don’t worry about it!” This is one of the reasons I don’t lie: I’m bad at keeping lies straight in my head. “But really, everything’s fine. Sure, I lost all those experiments and all the work I put into them, but I should be able to rebuild it all with time and bits. So it’s really just a delay.” Though finding all the materials and rebuilding things like my summoning circle was not going to be fun. Weather monitors weren’t cheap either.
Fluttershy let out a breath of relief. “That’s good to hear.”
“The good news is that I can replace everything that was lost.” My eyes narrowed as I thought of a specific baby dragon. “Though Spike’s still going to be grounded for a month for taking those shields down. Really, I don’t know what his problem is, but for the last few days he’s been especially grumpy with me. Maybe he just hasn’t been getting enough sleep lately. Normally he wasn’t so incalcitrant with me, but for some reason he’d refused to do as I said last night. Perhaps I needed to give him a talk?”
“At least nopony got hurt, right?” Fluttershy asked hopefully.
I shook my head. “Don’t worry, there was no loss of life or anything. Spike’s virtually fireproof. Blossomforth is fine too. She was only dead for a few seconds before I resuscitated her.”
Fluttershy’s eyes went wide as she covered her mouth with her forehooves. “Blossomforth was dead? That’s terrible!”
“She’s fine, she fine!” I said quickly. I thought back to the incident in the library and I failed to suppress a blush. “Physically anyways ... I think our pride will take a bit more time to recover.”
Fluttershy slowly lowered her hooves from her mouth. “A-are you sure? How long was she unconscious? Did you take her to the hospital afterwards to make sure everything like her heart rate was alright?” She swallowed loudly. “Being dead isn’t very healthy for a pony, Twilight.”
“You don’t say?” I teleported back to the ground. No sense being threatened by Fluttershy’s living suit of poisonous fangs and falling to my death at the same time. Of course, she flew back down to the ground with her scaly mob to stand next to me. This was quickly turning into one of those days. “Don’t worry, she only stopped breathing for like ... a few seconds before I banished the air elemental that had possessed her.”
Fluttershy’s mouth fell ajar. “W-what was g-going on in the library?”
I rubbed my face in frustration. “I’d prefer not to think too hard about last night myself. I gave her mouth-to-mouth right away, and she promptly came out of the magically induced curse that caused her to stop breathing. Her heart rate was probably fine, too. I know mine went through the roof when ... somepony found us like that.” My blushing reasserted itself with a vengeance. Why was I even going into details about this with Fluttershy? “Kind of sent the wrong message to all parties involved.”
Fluttershy tilted her head. “I don’t see how you could have been sending the wrong message. You were just trying to help a pony in trouble.”
I broke eye contact with Fluttershy. “It looked like we were ... kissing.”
She added to the awkwardness of that conversation by blushing herself. “Oh, I see. Wh-who walked in on you when you were--resuscitating her?”
I let out a groan and shook my head in irritation. “Cloud Kicker, of course.” Because who else would it be? I mean the universe has thrown a cockatrice, a ursa minor, parasprites, two dragons, a hydra, and two mad gods at me, so why not Cloud Kicker as well to just playfully prod me a bit?
Given the way Fluttershy cringed, I was going to guess she sympathized with my plight. “Oh ... I see. T-That would be awkward.”
“It was pretty embarrassing,” I grumbled. I walked past Fluttershy and waved for her to follow me. “Come on, we might as well make our way into town while we’re talking.” It did not seem like I was going to be able to escape my snake-y fate, so we might as well both make our way to the library instead of standing in the mud. I hated being inefficient with my time. Plus maybe the walking would take my mind off the snakes. No such luck, considering how I flinched every time one of the snakes hissed at me.
Fluttershy trudged through the muck to keep pace with me despite the fact she probably could have just flown right above the ground and stayed with me. Of all the pegasi I knew, Fluttershy had to be the one who flew the least. “Well ... hopefully Cloud Kicker didn't end up with the wrong idea. I mean, you and Blossomforth aren't ... you know ... as far as I know...” She trailed off, unable to finish the suggestion. Considering the fact that absolutely nothing sexual had happened, Fluttershy and I were blushing an awful lot right now.
What she was implying caused my eyes to widen. “What?! NONONONONO! We're perfectly platonic, perturbed by the petulant prodding of a particular pony who pokes and plays at possibilities!” My sudden burst into alliteration probably did not do much to prove that I had no feelings like that for Blossomforth. “I mean, we're not together. Like that. At all. I mean, we had only really met the other day.”
“Oh, okay.” Fluttershy seemed to be doing her level best to bring her full attention to the ground as we proceeded along the path. “Right, that’s ... alright, I think. As long as everypony was alright at the end of the day.”
“Yeah, that’s the most important thing.” Even if it was going to take me quite a bit of time, money, and effort to replace everything that had been lost. It was never easy to explain to the Princess or my parents why I had lost an entire lab ... again. Another series of hisses and more black, voided stares from the serpents coiled around Fluttershy disrupted my creation of a mental list of everything I was going to need to replace to remake my research lab. “So ... you’re going to make sure they stay out of the library, right? Um, Spike really doesn’t like snakes, you see.”
“Oh, I understand,” Fluttershy said with a nod. “Not everypony understands that they’re such wonderful creatures--a lot are actually afraid of them, for some reason.” She nuzzled one of the snakes that was hanging off her head lovingly. I suppressed another shudder. “Besides, I wouldn’t want any of them to get caught up in any of the, sorry, accidents you have in the library.”
“Nnnooooo, of course not,” I agreed. Perhaps some anti-serpentine wards placed over the library would help? Nothing lethal of course, probably, just something to prevent them from approaching the library or entering into the basement. With only moderate prejudice. I wouldn’t want to upset Fluttershy.
I began to consider my options when Fluttershy cleared her throat quietly. Actually it seemed to take a few attempts on her part to finally bring me out of my thoughts. “Um, you seem to be busy thinking to yourself; if it’s alright, I better get going. I hate to leave you behind, but I want to make sure I have plenty of time to get these darlings to their burrows.”
That made sense, it did sound like something that would take a bit of time. “I understand, you better get going.” As Fluttershy flapped her wings to get herself out of the muck, I looked in Ponyville’s direction and determined I still had quite a bit of walking to do. Especially while I had to force my way through this slop. While I was thrilled by the idea of some distance being placed between me and those snakes, I was also saddened by the thought of Fluttershy leaving.
I raised a hoof to try and get her to stop. “Hey, Fluttershy, before you go...”
She flew to hover in front of me. “Oh, what is it?”
I smiled at her. “Perhaps we could have some tea or something a couple days from now? I don’t have anything specifically scheduled for that time anymore.” My alchemy lab melting and then exploding spectacularly tended to preempt the conduct of anymore experiments. Hence the new open spot in my schedule. Besides, the other interviews I hoped to conduct would be tomorrow. The only other thing I had planned for tomorrow was taking an inventory and finishing up filing the insurance claims papers for the lab.
“That sounds wonderful.” She flew backwards and gave me a final wave. “See you in a couple days then.”
I waved back to her. “Yep, for some tea. We can talk about things, and ... spend some time together.”
She turned and started to fly off to Ponyville. “Bye Twilight.”
“See you later,” I called after her. And with that she became a slowly shrinking dot on the horizon and then she was gone. I sighed sadly and steeled myself for the rest of the lonely journey back to town. At least I had a meeting with Fluttershy to look forward to for in a couple days. I could really use the companionship after the last few days.
***
I entered the library after I finished flicking and scraping off the worst of the mud that had clung to my hooves. I needed to take a brief break after the exhausting trip to Zecora’s. It could be a bit of a long trip even when I wasn’t slogging through the mud. I closed the door and turned to see Spike stomping his way out of the basement and into the main library. He was covered in soot and grime, and he was carrying a trash bag that looked and sounded full.
“Hey Twilight,” he said grumpily. His eyes were half closed as he glared at me and his shoulders were slumped with fatigue. It would seem that he wasn’t enjoying cleaning up the mess he had caused. I suppressed the urge to feel pity for my assistant. We had safety rules for the lab for a reason, and Spike needed to learn not to break them. So in addition to being grounded, it was his job to clean the lab area. Though I was planning on helping him out later. Making him clean the exploded portion of the library basement was supposed to be a punishment, not an act of cruelty. Besides, I wanted the work to actually get finished sometime this month so that I could start putting my lab back together.
I levitated my saddlebags off my aching back and placed them in their designated spot by the doorway. “Hey Spike, how’s the basement coming along?”
Spike sighed with resignation. He dropped the trashbag on the floor and then sat on it. He was covered in soot and grime that stained his scales almost completely black. “It’s coming. I got a bunch of the junk cleared out. It’s just taking forever.” He looked down at the floor where he had left footprints all over the floor. “I’m going to need a bath though. All I’m doing is spreading soot around at this point.” That was not surprising given how filthy he looked. We were probably going to need to clean the tub when he was done cleaning himself.
“That sounds fine.” I looked back to the doorway to make sure I was not tracking in mud. No sense adding to the mess that we were going to have to clean up. It was always a major project to clean everything after the lab suffers one disaster or another. “Everything isn’t going to be fixed in a day anyways.”
“Oh ... right.” Spike wearily pointed to a brown envelope sitting on the table in the middle of the room. “The stuff from Derbyshire showed up.”
I walked to the table and grasped the envelope in my telekinesis. I considered it for a moment with a level stare. Seems it was that time of the month to deal with the paperwork from Derbyshire. “I might as well take care of all of this instead of procrastinating. I’ll be upstairs.” I tilted my head to look at Spike. “Oh, would you mind taking the tea out of my saddlebags and putting it in the kitchen for me?” I asked absentmindedly. The contents of the envelope were occupying my mind like they always did when they showed up.
His punishment to clean the basement lab he destroyed must really have put him in a bad mood, because he gave me a low groan before slowly walking to my saddlebags. “Fine, whatever, just add to everything else I have to do around here.” I shook my head and started up the stairs. I was just not in the mood for Spike’s dismal attitude. At this rate he was going to find himself grounded for even longer than a month.
“Hey, what’re these?” I looked back down the stairs as something jogged my memory. That memory sparked and set off a chain reaction of panic in my mind when I saw Spike holding one of Cloud Kicker’s contraceptive potions.
I spun and ran down the stairs. I quickly grabbed Spike and the potion with my telekinesis. I yanked the potion out of his claws and quickly ran to place myself between Spike and my saddlebags. “No, wait! I’ll take care of my saddle bags!” I did not want to have to explain why I had those types of potions in my saddlebag. I couldn’t be sure he knew what contraceptive meant, but there were plenty of ways for him to find out even if he did not. There was the whole fact we did live in a library, and while I normally encouraged Spike to use something like a dictionary to learn new words, this was one of the rare few things I would prefer for him to remained ignorant about until he was older. In the end, those potions could very easily lead to all sorts of questions that I didn’t want to answer. I really needed to think of a place to stash those where Spike wasn’t going to find them before I could pass them off to Cloud Kicker.
Spike struggled against my telekinetic grasp. “Hey! Let me go, I’m just trying to help!” After a few more futile attempts at breaking my telekinesis, he settled down and glared at me. “What’s your problem? First you tell me to unpack your bag, and now you're yanking me all around. I’m not some dog whose chain you can jerk around, you know!”
I tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t raise questions. Thankfully Spike had provided me with an excuse to not force me to get into topics that I really didn’t want to get into. “It’s just--you’re filthy, I don’t want you getting all that dirt all over my saddlebags. Just look.” I hovered my saddlebag where Spike could easily see the dirt marks his claws had caused, and then placed them back behind me. His growl of irritation didn’t suggest he was fully satisfied with my answer.
“I’ll take care of this; you just go and get cleaned up.” I quickly shoved the potion Spike had pulled out back in the bag and closed it. No sense giving Spike any more of an opportunity to read the label on the potion. Of course, Zecora had to be logical and label her potions to make sure somepony did not some kind of mistake like mix up a potion meant to deal with arthritis and another brewed for constipation. I’m sure that was a lesson Zecora or somepo-zebra else had learned the hard way.
I walked over to the stairs leading up and I placed Spike right next to them. “Now you go get cleaned up.” I gave him a slight shove to get him moving up the stairs.
Spike slowly made his way up the stairs. “Fine, be that way,” he said with a huff. He stopped to look down at me. “Are you even going to be home in time for dinner today, or should I just go ahead and plan on eating by myself again?”
I was really getting tired of his tone with me. Especially after the disaster last night. I was being pretty lenient with him due to the last two days being on the rough side, but my temper was starting to fray. I took in a deep breath. “Okay, seriously buster. You're already grounded for what happened yesterday, so why are you trying to make me even more upset with you?”
“Like it matters,” Spike scoffed at me. He crossed his arms and look away from me. “You’re not even going to be around to be mad at me anyways, so whatever.”
I stomped a hoof down. “Seriously, what has gotten into you? You’ve been nothing but snippish with me as of late, and on top of that, you destroyed my lab. Do you want to grounded for longer than a month? Because that can happen at the rate you’re going, and don’t think I can’t take away things like ice cream.”
He continued to refuse to make eye contact with me and shrugged his shoulders. “You’re not going to take me anywhere anyways, so what’s it matter if you ground me some more? Besides, your stupid lab was going to blow up sooner or later anyways, like it always does. Didn’t matter what I did.”
Oh that was it! He didn’t feel the least bit of contrition for what he had done last night. “It was not just going to blow up sooner or later! I put a lot of time and effort into those shields, and to make the lab safe. Not just to make the lab safe, but to make it safe for you and me. But then you had to go and abuse that talisman I had made and turn all of them off. Something that is exactly against laboratory safety rules, and for good reasons.” I jabbed him in the chest with a hoof. “I lost thousands of bits in equipment and all my notes down there. That’s a lot of bits, time, and effort lost because of you! Do you have any idea that a pony like Blossomforth would have killed for a weather tracker like the one that blew up in the lab? This isn’t like dropping a glass on the floor or something minor like that.”
Spike smacked my hoof away from my chest. “Oh, you’re one to talk about ‘lab safety.’” He poked me in the chest with a talon. “Like you weren’t getting sloppy with your own safety procedures.”
I lowered my head to get face to face with him. “I was not!”
“Yeah-huh,” came back Spike’s brilliant retort. “You got lazy all over the place because those stupid shields made you overconfident. Your alchemy lab was a disaster waiting to happen from all the stuff you left lying all over the place. I mean really, you had things that could turn into some sort of superacid when they got mixed lying right next to each other.”
I lifted my head out of Spike’s personal space as I thought what he just said about my alchemy lab. “I had a couple of important ongoing experiments going on. I couldn’t just pack everything up and keep them going.” Some of my alchemical experiments did take a few days or more to complete and monitor. Besides, there was always some risk when dealing with highly reactive chemicals like I experimented with. We just had some bad luck as far as the alchemy lab itself went.
Spike rolled his eyes at me. “Uh-huh, I’m sure that’s why you left everything on the table, and never cleaned up afterwards. You just waited for me to clean it up, which just caused you to yell at me for messing something up half the time. Wouldn’t want to screw up your next scheduled explosion, I guess.”
“I know what I’m doing with my own lab,” I protested. I turned to drop the brown envelope back down onto the center table of the library and then back to Spike. He had quickly taken up all my attention with this argument. The contents of the envelope could wait. “Spike, you are on real thin ice right now.” I gave him a threatening glare, but it seemed to do little to deter my assistant.
“Why, don’t like it when I point out when you are being stupid, and doing stupid things like leaving whatever that Cal thing was in your stupid circle thing?” Spike turned his back to me and started to walk up the stairs. “Because that wasn’t a stupid thing to do. I’m sure Blossomforth loved being possessed by him.”
“It was perfectly safe until you started using the talisman as a toy.” I felt my temper really rising as I watched Spike slowly ascend the stairs. “Get back down here mister! I’m not done talking to you!”
Spike stopped momentarily to look down at me. “Or what? You’ll ground me some more? I’m stuck here until the basement is cleaned anyways, and that’s going to take forever.” He turned back to walk back up the stairs.
“Spike,” I said with a warning growl. He was getting real close to ... something. Maybe I could ground him forever? I could always take away a food he liked for a while. “Don’t think I can’t come up with other ways to punish you? I’m sure there’s a book somewhere in this library that has suggestions.”
He stopped again, turned back my way, and let out an angry huff. “Well, see if I care. Not like you are going to be around to punish me.” He started his way up the stairs. “Also you and Blossomforth weren’t wearing your stupid safety glasses!”
“Spike. Spike! You stop right this instant.” He continued up the stairs despite me telling him not to.
“No, I’m taking a shower.” He stomped his way up the stairs and out of my view. “I’m filthy, tired, and I’m sick of you.”
I trotted up the stairs to the second story of the library after him. I saw him walking towards the bathroom, and I galloped around and in front of him to block his way. “Seriously, what is your problem with me lately? You have been acting more and more off this week.”
Spike tried to walk around me but I repositioned myself to keep blocking his way to the bathroom. He finally stopped and looked at me. “Jeez, I’m surprised you even noticed.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” My eyebrows raised in confusion. “Of course I noticed.”
“No you haven’t!” Spike let out a huff and gave me a frown. “You haven’t been around or done anything with me. I’m not your pet!”
I winced as Spike yelled at me. “Of course you’re not my pet, Spike.”
“It’s what you treat me like!” He tried to get past me again, and when I tried to block his path as he shoved his way past. “Just leave me alone! It’s what you're best at.”
“Stop being angry with me! You’re the one that’s in trouble!” I spun around and watched as Spike waddled his way with purpose towards the bathroom. I trotted up to the door and he slammed the door shut in my face. I knocked loudly on the door a couple times. “Spike, open this door! Don’t think ignoring me is going to keep you out of trouble! I need to talk with you! Why won’t you just tell me what’s wrong!” Apparently, his response to that was to turn on the water. Probably to drown out my voice if I had to guess. I tried the door and found it locked, big surprise.
I sat down in front of the door and stared at it. I was at a loss for what to do. Knocking the door down was an option I briefly considered in a moment of irritation, but I pushed it to the side. That wasn’t likely to help things. Besides, I wanted to have a bathroom door when I went to get a bath later too. I tried to calm down and think through what Spike had said to me. He was not my pet, nor some kind of familiar. He was family to me. I didn’t even understand why he should be the one angry with me. He was the one who got my lab destroyed. He could be so frustrating at times.
I stood back up. It was clear that Spike was in no mood to talk with me, and I was tired of dealing with him. Maybe spending some time apart would let him cool off. There were better things I could do with my time than getting into a pointless argument with Spike. I needed to keep my priorities straight.
I gave the door a couple more knocks. “Spike, I’m going out again to work on a project. You better still be in the library when I get back, or I’m going to be really mad. I’ll be back in a few hours.” Either because Spike could not hear me over the shower or because he didn’t want to answer, I got no reply. Perfect, just perfect.
I made my way to the first floor of the library and I strapped my saddlebags back on. The tea and potions could wait to be unpacked. I needed to get some distance between me and Spike. I wasn’t going to get any useful work done arguing with him all day. I double checked to make sure I had everything I needed and exited the library to take care of my next interview.
I knocked on the door and waited for a reply. The top half of the door opened, and Derpy poked her head out. I had planned on arriving here in the evening, considering Derpy was more likely to be home. Seeing as she was a mailmare and a mother of two, I figured this would be the most likely time she would be available for an interview. The fact she was home was encouraging. I could use some good news after dealing with Spike earlier.
She gave me a cheerful wall-eyed look. “Oh, hi! Twilight Sparkle, right? What can I do for you?”
I gave her a friendly smile. “Hello, um, Derpy Hooves, is it?”
“Actually, my name’s Ditzy Doo,” she corrected me.
One of my eyebrows raised at the name. With her last name I wondered if she was related to Daring Do. I pulled out my notebook and a pencil and made a correction to my notes, and I made a note to ask if she was related to the famous archaeologist, explorer, and inspiration for a popular fiction series. “Okay, Ditzy Doo it is then.”
“Well, Lady Ditzy Doo of Houses Doo and Cumulus, if you really wanna be technical about it." She gave me a playful grin.
I ran a line through some of my notes and wrote down her full title. “Alright, Lady Ditzy Doo. So that’s what you would like for me to call you then?” So a ladyship, but with no actual titles or anything? She’s probably only technically a noble, effectively a commoner with a fancy title and nothing to back it up. She wouldn’t be the first impoverished noble I had ever met. Not that it was any surprise she was impoverished with that pedigree. The Doos never recovered from their part in the Lunar Rebellion, and House Cumulus has always had far too many heirs to build up on any proper holdings.
“Well, everypony calls me Derpy,” she said with a not-so-innocent smile. “You can too, if you like.”
My eye twitched slightly. I crossed out more lines and made more corrections to my notes. She may have been messing with me. Already this interview was starting to rub me the wrong way. “So anyways, Derpy, do you have a moment?”
She nodded her head and put on a bubbly smile. “Of course. What do you need?”
“Um, yes.” I rubbed the back of my neck. This always felt embarrassing to have to explain. “You see, I’m helping with this sociology study for Canterlot University, and I was hoping to be able to interview you about something.”
“What’s it about?” she asked. I found it a bit awkward as her eyes slowly drifted in different directions. I felt like I was staring, but where else are you supposed to look? It was all terribly disconcerting for me.
I tried to keep my smile from appearing strained. “Oh, I was hoping to ask you a few questions about Cloud Kicker. She’s the subject of my research.”
“Okay! Come on in.” She opened the rest of her door and motioned for me to follow her inside. “Shouldn’t be a problem if it doesn’t take too long. We’re just fixing dinner.”
I stopped short of the threshold. “If I came at a bad time, I can always come at a time of your convenience. It’s just I didn’t know what would be the best time to catch you.”
She shook her head and waved me in. “No, it’s fine, Sparkler and Dinky should be alright making spaghetti without me.”
“If you’re sure it’s not a problem.” I walked into Derpy’s living room, taking a moment to glance around. It looked homey, like what you would expect a home to look like in a magazine or a well-produced play. There was a great deal of furniture spaced out around the some, such as cushions and a couch spaced out around the home, and the flooring was made up of bamboo. Pictures were nailed to the wall and there were only a few decorative nicknacks lying around.
Derpy pointed a hoof at a cushion for me to sit on and sat herself on a nearby couch. “Go ahead and make yourself comfortable.”
I placed my saddlebags beside the cushion and sat down. “Thank you. It means a lot to me for you to do this--especially on such short notice.”
Derpy leaned back in her couch and made herself comfortable. “Not a problem. Now, you said you had a few questions about Cloud Kicker?”
I levitated my notebook and pencil before me. “Yes, so how about we jump right into it?” It struck me as odd that Derpy seemed completely unperturbed that I wanted to talk to her about Cloud Kicker. Maybe knowing her since foalhood played a role in that? “When did you first meet each other?”
She gave me a grin. “We first met at Flight Camp. We were in the Flight Camp mess hall, and I saw that there was only one muffin left in the serving line. So I dashed over and crashed right into Cloud Kicker to get to the muffin. She was a bit mad at first, since I did kinda knock her over while trying to take away her muffin. She had eyed the same last muffin as me, and she thought it belonged to her.”
I nodded as my pencil scratched against my notebook. “Sounds like you were about to get into a fight.”
Derpy gave me a chuckle. “Yeah, it was a stupid silly-filly fight--the type of thing only kids fight over. She was starting to yell at me when I offered to share the muffin with her. I think she thought I was trying to trick her at first--you know, lure her into a false sense of security or something like that.She was so confused at first and she didn’t even know how to act.”
She looked down at the floor and sighed. “Flight Camp was a rough place when we went there. Kids got into fights all the time, and Cloud Kicker probably thought she was going to have to get into a fight to ‘mark her territory.’ It’s kinda sad, thinking back on how surprised she was by me being genuinely nice to her.” She looked back up at me and gave me another one of those bubbly smiles of hers. “But she let up and agreed to share it, and we split the muffin. We got to know each other over lunch and have been good friends ever since.”
She giggled and looked at the ceiling. “Oh, we did so many pranks together, along with Rainbow Dash. You wouldn’t believe the kind of trouble we got into--Dash would always suggest these awesome pranks for us to do, and Cloud Kicker would always say she didn't want to help, but that didn’t stop her from planning our pranks out. She always told us she just wanted to make sure we were doing things 'the right way.’” She put a hoof by the side of her mouth as if she was whispering some great secret. “Don’t tell her I told you this, but she was a bit of a stick in the mud when she was a filly.”
I pointed my pencil at her. “Wait, you’re telling me that Cloud Kicker used to follow the rules and didn’t want to get into trouble?”
“Yep. Kinda goes with being a military brat.” She stuck her tongue out at me playfully. “But Dash and I managed to loosen her up a bit, and now she’s her big, fun loving self.”
I caught myself chewing on my pencil’s eraser as I reviewed what I had so far and quickly removed it from my mouth. I didn’t want to embarrass myself with that childish habit. I decided to ask more about Flight Camp considering it had come up earlier in my interview with Rainbow Dash. “How would you describe your and Cloud Kicker’s experience at Flight Camp?”
She let out a long breath and rubbed her forehead. “I can’t say I particularly enjoyed it. Flight Camp is supposed to be a pretty amazing time for a pegasus--it’s when you learn how to fly, when you finally achieve your birthright. Before then, you’re pretty much stuck to the ground or the clouds. Those two summers at Flight Camp are supposed to be a huge deal, but ...” She trailed off and leaned her head back against the couch and ran a hoof through her mane.
This was starting to sound very different than what I normally heard from other pegasi about Flight Camp. Most considered it to be one of the best times of their lives. Where they learned to fly, maybe even earn their cutie marks, and made some friends. It was a bit of a rite of passage for most pegasi, a holdover from ancient pegasus history and society. While it was not nearly as militaristic as it once was, it was still an important experience to those involved.
“Take your time,” I said. I lowered my notebook to address her directly. “If you’re not comfortable with this topic we can move on.”
Derpy waved the suggestion off. “No, it’s alright. There are just a lot of ... unpleasant memories with Flight Camp. I got picked on a lot during my first year there. Being a bit of a klutz made me an easy target.”
I could see how her predisposition towards accidents would cause her to get picked on by the other kids. She was somewhat infamous in Ponyville for all the accidents she was involved in. Her demolishing the City Hall being one of her more noteworthy achievements. If there was a pony in Ponyville who crashed into the library more than Dash, it was one Derpy Hooves. She seemed to be holding up pretty well in any event. Her days in Flight Camp were a number of years ago, so these were probably just old memories I was digging up.
I nodded. “So it was a rough time for you before you met Cloud Kicker?”
“Pretty much.” She shifted around a bit in her sitting position. “The camp counselors weren’t really good at their jobs. They were never around to keep an eye on us. The only time we saw them was when they were teaching classes, when they showed up for classes anyways, so lots of kids got into trouble like fighting or racing where they shouldn’t have been. Fluttershy got knocked right off of Training Camp during one of those races, and she could have been seriously hurt or worse if she hadn’t landed on a butterfly swarm.”
My pencil stopped when I heard this last bit of information. “Wait, you said that Fluttershy was saved from a high-speed fall by landing ... on butterflies?” I had to make sure I heard that one right. That didn’t sound ... plausible. The butterflies would have needed to have the mass of dark matter to stand a chance of catching her, and that was an equally ridiculous proposition.
“Yeah, that’s what I said,” she confirmed flatly.
I scratched the top of my head. “You’re telling me that a pony the size of adolescent filly was caught up by a bunch of butterflies? We’re talking about a bunch of small and delicate insects, right?” I was beginning to wonder if Derpy was pulling my leg.
“Yes,” she said as though that were the most natural thing in the world. “Why?”
I rubbed the side of my cranium slowly. “N-no reason, let’s just move on.” One physics-defying friend was more than enough for me. I figured I would just ask Fluttershy about the incident later to clarify. There must be some sort of misunderstanding between Derpy and me.
“Mommy!” I saw a pale purple unicorn filly with a blonde mane come bounding out from where I guessed the kitchen was and into the living room. “Sparky’s cooking all wrong. Nothing’s on fire like when you do it!”
Derpy turned to her daughter and chuckled. “I’m sure Sparkler knows what she’s doing, Muffin. There isn’t always fire when somepony cooks.”
I was beginning to worry about the quality of Derpy’s meals if fires were such a regular occurrence. This sounded a little too much like Sweetie Belle’s cooking. I suppressed a shudder when I thought about a cookout we had a couple weeks back. Sweetie Belle’s attempts to grill were ... enlightening. Who knew so much destruction could be caused by an innocent barbecue in the park? It’s no surprise she hadn’t earned a grilling cutie mark.
Derpy smiled and gestured at me. “Muffin, this is Miss Twilight Sparkle--she’s one of Rainbow Dash’s friends. She’s here to ask me a few questions about Miss Cloud Kicker.”
I waved at Dinky and gave her a friendly smile. “Hello there.” No sense not playing nice with the children while I was here. Besides, she did seem to be quite an adorable little filly.
“Ohhh, ooohhh!” She jumped around excitedly. “Can I show her my family drawing from school? Can I?”
Derpy nodded and smiled. “Of course, go ahead.”
“Okay!” And with that she ran off to the kitchen.
I turned to Derpy and nodded towards the kitchen. “She’s a ball of energy.”
She let out a short laugh. “Yeah, which is why I can’t let her have anything sugary. She starts to bounce off the walls if she gets that stuff in her system. Trust me, it’s not pretty.”
Dinky came running back out of the kitchen with a piece of paper in her mouth, and she stepped right up to me and held up the drawing where I could see it. “Hwere ‘ou ‘oh.”
I smiled down at her and lifted up the piece of paper with my own telekinesis--bending down to look at the drawing while she drooled on it didn’t strike me as the best way to appreciate her hard work. “Let’s see what we have here.” She looked up at me with cheerful expectation.
I started to examine the drawing with a critical eye. I hadn’t planned on giving it a full artistic review, considering Dinky couldn’t have been very old. Unsurprisingly, the drawing was done entirely with crayon and with all the artistic talent a child whose birthdays still counted in the single digits could bring to bear.
She had drawn a grassy meadow with some yellow flowers dotted here and there. Given the white squarish blotch, smaller yellow square, and a series of even smaller shapes, I guessed there was a picnic going on. A trio of stickpony figures were at the center of the picture, and were probably intended to represent Derpy, Sparkler, and herself. Above them was a pegasus pushing a cloud out of the way of the sun, next to where the words ‘Mommys friend Miss Clowd Kiker’ were in big, blocky letters.
I smiled down to Dinky. “Aw, isn’t that precious! You all look so happy together!” Dinky looked up at me with pride and gave me the widest smile she could manage.
I resisted my instinct to pull out a red pen and make grammatical corrections to the drawing, but I was going to guess that putting red marks all over it would not go over well with either Derpy or Dinky. Dinky had likely only recently started going to school given her spelling level. I had met Cheerilee on a number of occasions, like when I consulted her to make sure my lesson plans for Spike were in keeping with Equestria’s education standards, and I knew she was a perfectly competent teacher. I kept telling myself that so that I could keep myself from editing my interviewee daughter’s drawing.
Then my brain really started to kick into gear, and the implications of the drawing started to dawn on me. Dinky had seen and interacted with Cloud Kicker at least enough to learn her name and figure out she was ‘friends’ with her mom, and include her in a family picture. My smile suddenly became much more strained. “So, um, I see Cloud Kicker is in this picture. That’s ... nice.”
“Yeah-huh,” chirped Dinky excitedly. “I thought because she and Mom are such good friends, she would give us the perfect picnic.”
I tried to think of something quick to say that wouldn’t sound horribly awkward. “Yes--that sounds exactly like something she would do. Cloud Kicker just loves to spread the happiness around.”
I saw Derpy look back and forth between Dinky and the floating drawing, and we blushed slightly. “Dinky, how about you take that back to the icebox and finish helping your sister? I’m sure she could use your help.”
“Okay! Bye, Miss Twilight.” She lightly bit back down on her drawing and trotted back to the kitchen, humming a merry little tune to herself. “Oh, do you know the muffin mare? The muffin mare, the muffin mare ...”
I waited to make sure that Dinky was out of earshot before turning back to Derpy. “So um, what’s your relationship with Cloud Kicker these days?”
Derpy looked behind the couch to make sure Dinky had indeed disappeared into the kitchen before turning back to me. She gave me what had to be one of the most happy smiles I had ever seen before answering my question. “We bang, okay?”
I dropped my pencil and notebook on the floor. I was lucky I hadn’t been drinking anything when she said that. Even guessing the truth, the straightforwardness of her statement caught me off guard. “Um, alright. Okay then.” I slowly picked my notepad and pencil up from the ground. “That um, so that’s out there then.” I was not feeling my cleverest at the moment.
Derpy laughed and added to my embarrassment. “You’re pretty easy to get riled up, you know that? You sure you’re going to be able to study Cloud Kicker if it’s this easy to get you flustered? She can do a lot worse than that, trust me.”
My ears flicked in irritation. “Oh I have a good idea already. She’s been no end of irritation for me thus far.”
She tsked and shook her head at me. “You just need to give her a chance and not let her teasing get under your coat. She’s a good pony when you get to know her.”
I couldn’t resist rolling my eyes at that one. I wondered if Derpy could roll her eyes like a normal pony, or would it just look like both of her eyes were circling independant of each other like a pony who had hit their head too hard? Anyways, on the laughable subject of Cloud Kicker being a halfway decent pony. “Yeah, I’m sure. I’m sure that’s why she has made it a point to drive me up the wall every opportunity she gets.”
“Just don’t let her get to you so much.” She giggled as though at some private joke. “Trust me, you only need to worry about her actually banging you if you want it.”
I huffed at that suggestion. “Oh, there’s no worry about me banging her. That is never going to happen if I have anything to say about it.”
Derpy gave me a smile that suggested she knew more than she was letting on. “Come to me in a couple months and tell me if you have the same tune. I certainly never saw myself going beyond casual friendship with her, certainly after all these years, and now we're ...” She raised and lowered her eyebrows suggestively to me. “She can be a very persuasive pony. ”
“Wha--No! I’m not ... No, I don’t--not with her. No, not happening,” I spluttered out. I shook my head from side to side. “That’s a terrible idea. It would taint my study, for starters.”
She leaned back and grinned at me. “So you’ve never considered saying yes even once?”
I shook my head again. “No, never. I couldn’t imagine even being friends with her, much less doing ... that with her.”
Derpy frowned at me. “You don’t really like her very much, do you?”
“Of course I don’t,” I snapped. I rubbed my face in irritation. “She has done nothing but make my life difficult. She has harassed me, made fun of me, and made this study one of the worst assignments I have ever had. And I’m counting that time when Princess Celestia made me count all the scales on a dragon.” I vigorously rubbed my face. “They have one that guards the royal treasury, she’s big ... and irritable. Very irritable. I had no idea an assignment could be both dangerous and boring at the same time.” I stopped rubbing my face to look at Derpy. “Cloud Kicker is about the last pony I ever wanted to study for the sociology report.”
Derpy’s ears fell flat on her head. “I’m sorry to hear that Cloud Kicker’s giving you such a tough time. If her teasing is really bothering you so much, why not just ask her to back off a bit? She’d understand.”
I quickly ran my hoof through the back of my mane. “Yeah, I’m sure that would work. I’m sure just asking her to stop would make her quit trying to make out with me.”
Derpy shook her head slowly. “You just don’t know her well enough yet. Give her a chance, and you’ll see she’s a good pony at heart.”
I looked away from her. “Somehow that seems hard for me to believe. She’s only humiliated me multiple times in public.”
She pursed her lips. “If this assignment makes you so miserable, then why are you doing it?”
For a few seconds all I could do was stare at Derpy. “What do you mean?”
She gave me a confused frown. “You could just, you know, not do it. You don’t have to do it, right?”
I was having trouble understanding what she was getting at. “But ... I can’t just not do it. The Princess has expectations of me. I’m her personal student, I can’t just turn down assignments.” Plus I was given this project by Princess Luna herself. How do you turn down an assignment given to you by the Princess of the Night herself?
She gave me a level look. “Even if they make you this unhappy?”
I closed my eyes and shook my head. “It’s fine, I’ll just work through this assignment, turn it in, and then forget about it. No long-term harm or consequences. It’s not so different than any other difficult assignment I’ve had. This one just happens to have a particularly annoying research subject.”
Derpy continue to frown at me. “If you say so. But really, just don’t let what Cloud Kicker says get to you.”
“How about we just skip to the next question?” I flipped through my notebook to double check what my next couple of questions were. “So then, how long have you and Cloud Kicker been seeing each other?”
She rubbed her chin. “Oh, for a couple of weeks now. We’re pretty much just friends-with-benefits right now.” After a shrug she continued. “But we’ll see where it goes.”
I wrote down what she told me and jotted down a couple other question ideas. “Were you and Cloud Kicker ever more than friends before recently?”
“You’re asking if we ever banged before? No.” She shook her head. “I came on to her when I was pregnant with Dinky. The hormones were driving me a bit crazy at the time, but Cloud Kicker declined.” She gave a remorseful sigh. “Kinda a shame really. I’ve really liked having her around.”
That took me a little bit aback. “Wait, you’re telling me that Cloud Kicker actually turned you down? We’re talking about the same pony, right?”
“That’s right,” she said with a nod of her head. “She felt that would have been taking advantage of me at the time, so she turned me down. She does have standards and rules. Like I said, she's a good pony once you get to know her better.”
That was a bit different than what I would have expected from Cloud Kicker. I would have to look into that later. I tapped my pencil against my lips and I looked at my list of questions. I thought this might be a good time to bring up one of them, though it could be a bit of a touchy subject. “So, you don’t have to answer this one if you aren’t comfortable. I heard some rumors in town and--”
“Cloud Kicker didn’t sire Dinky,” Derpy replied levelly. She must have seen the perplexed look on my face, because she chuckled at me. “You’re not the first to ask me that, and I really doubt you’ll be the last--especially now that Cloud Kicker and I are seeing each other.”
It was not hard to imagine why some ponies would think Cloud Kicker had sired Dinky. Even accounting for the fact that hereditary traits seemed to be a crapshoot with ponies, Dinky looked an awful lot like Cloud Kicker. That didn’t always mean anything though, my brother and I looked nothing alike despite having the same parents. There was also the potential of a union producing different breeds of ponies than the parents--the Cakes and their foals, for example.
“Okay, I’ll just cross that one out then.” I wrote down her answer. I didn’t give that rumor much credence anyways. You either needed True Love between two mares to produce a foal, or fairly expensive magic to help conceive a child. I doubted Derpy and Cloud Kicker had the True Love thing going given Cloud Kicker’s lifestyle, and she didn’t strike me as the type who would spend that many bits just to experience the act a little differently. “Sorry, I have to be thorough with this study.”
Derpy waved off my apology. “Don’t worry, you’ve been a lot nicer about it than a lot of ponies. If anything, you seem embarrassed to ask half of these questions.”
I couldn’t really argue with her. Cloud Kicker by her very nature was an embarrassing subject. Though the fact Cloud Kicker wasn’t Dinky’s father did bring up an important question. “Um, if I can ask, do you know who Dinky’s father or sire is?”
She let out a long sigh and ran a hoof through her mane. Derpy was quiet long enough that I knew I was treading on uncomfortable ground. I was about to change the subject when she spoke up. “Could you not give any names for this part of the study?”
“I can keep this part completely anonymous,” I promised. “We can leave out anything out you don’t want in my report.”
She nodded gratefully, then checked behind her to make sure that her children were well out of earshot before answering. “I ... don’t know who her father is. It was the end of my first year at Duke Polaris University, and he was ... cute. And horny.” She snorted. “‘Horny’, heh .… uh, sorry. He was a unicorn, white coat, cute--and that’s it, really, I don’t remember much else. We’d both had a lot to drink at a party that evening, and once everypony else had left ... I found out a few weeks later, after I missed my period.”
“Ah, I’m sorry to hear that.” I paused for a moment as I tried to think what to say. What could I say about that she had probably not already heard a hundred times? “Must be hard being a single mom.” Yep, that was one hundred percent original.
“I’ve managed alright.” Her smile didn’t look completely forced. “I love Dinky more than anything, but ... well, I wish I had been a bit older when I had her. But we’re making it work.”
“I’m glad things seem to be working out for you.” I mulled over what she just told me, and I flipped through a couple page of my notebook. So Dinky’s father was some white unicorn in Canterlot? A disturbing thought crossed my mind. “How old is Dinky, by the way?”
Derpy smiled and glanced towards the kitchen. “She’ll be seven in a few months. Funny, I can still remember the day I held her for the first time in the hospital.” Her gaze turned to look at a nearby wall, probably to look at one of the photographs nailed against it.
I thought back to when Shining Armor had gone for his graduate degree at Duke Polaris. It was probably just a coincidence. White was a common color for unicorns in and around Canterlot--hay, most of Rarity’s family was made up of white unicorns based in the photos I had seen in her home. I was just worrying about nothing again. No need to panic.
Yet.
“Everything okay?” She tilted her head in a questioning manner. “You were staring off.”
“Oh, yes, everything is fine. Perfectly fine.” I gave myself a mental shake. Interview now, nieces I may or may not have later. “How about another question? So, where do-”
“Mom! Dinner’s ready!” Dinky came bounding out of the kitchen again. “Though I still don’t think Sparky was doing it right. There weren’t any fwooshing, crackling, or banging noises.”
Derpy turned to face her daughter as she got up from the couch. “Just go ahead and set the table, Muffin.”
“Okay.” Dinky turned around and walked back to the kitchen.
Derpy turned back to me and gave me an inviting smile. “Would you like to join us for dinner?”
I stood up from my cushion and stretched my legs a bit. “I wouldn’t want to impose. I’ve already taken up too much of your time.” I was a bit irritated that my interview had been cut short, but I could always pick up at another time to get more questions. Derpy had given me some facts to chew over anyways. Not like I didn’t know where to find her, or that she didn’t come by the library everyday.
“No, it’s fine.” Derpy stepped up to me and started to maneuver me towards the kitchen. “Please, any friend of Rainbow Dash is a friend of mine. You didn’t have any other plans, did you?”
I tried to think if I did have any other plans, but I really didn’t. My lab was nothing but ash and molten metal, and I was not looking forward to another argument with Spike. Plus there were still a couple of questions I would still like to ask. “Um, I guess it’s okay if I stay for dinner then.”
I hadn’t thought it possible for her smile to get any wider, but it did. “Great! The dining room is right this way.” I followed her to the room where the dining room table sat, a solid piece of furniture with a plain table cloth on top, and four cushions surrounding it. Dinky was finishing setting up the silverware and dishes, and a young mare with a lavender-pink coat and a violet mane came in levitating the bowl of spaghetti. That was most likely Sparkler if I had to guess.
Sparkler stopped in her tracks when she saw me and nearly dropped the bowl. “Oh, hey. Mom invited you to dinner?”
“Sparkler, this is Twilight Sparkle.” Derpy gave me a nod before turning back to her daughter. “Twilight, I’d like you to meet my other daughter, Sparkler.” Derpy scrunched up her nose as she looked back and forth between us. “Err, I guess you have similar names. Good thing you have your first name to keep things simple, Twilight.”
I let out a lighthearted chuckle. “Yeah, that would be a bit awkward to have to go back and forth between Sparkle and Sparkler, wouldn’t it?” I gave Sparkler a friendly nod. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
“Yeah, hi. Nice to meet you.” She didn’t seem particularly perturbed by my presence at the table. “Sorry, but I better put this bowl down before I drop it.” She walked past me and placed the spaghetti on the table.
Derpy, Sparkler, and Dinky each took a seat around the table and I walked around to sit in the last remaining cushion. Dinner was primarily the aforementioned spaghetti and some bread with melted cheese on it. Derpy tried to make some small talk with her children, mainly asking how their days had gone at school. Dinky listed off some of the lessons she took part in, and then talked about playing with some of the other children during recess. Sparkler gave some vague information about her school, then spent a fair amount of time listing the virtues of a particular young stallion that had caught her eye.
Teenagers, sheesh. Glad I never went through that stage in life.
I mostly just sat to the side in silence while Derpy talked with her children. I had done such a thorough job of fading into the background that I nearly jumped when Derpy addressed me. “So Twilight, how was your day?”
“O-oh, it was--um, fine,” I managed to stammer out. I was surprised that she actually asked me that. I didn’t want to bring up my recent troubles with Derpy’s family. I’m sure they had enough on their plates without me bringing my issues with Cloud Kicker or Spike into the mix. I had just met them, after all.
Derpy didn’t let me off the hook that easily. “So what did you do today? I heard there was another explosion in the library.”
Dinky looked between Derpy and me. “Is that why you won’t let me go to the library alone? ‘Cause it blows up a lot?”
I hadn’t blow up the library that much. Only about three times since I had come to Ponyville, and it had only been the basement that had suffered catastrophic damage. For the most part anyways, the library has only suffered some major structural damage above ground level. I’m not perfect.
“I just don’t want you walking around town alone, Muffin,” Derpy patiently explained.
“I can walk ‘round town by myself,” Dinky said grumpily. She bent down to take another messy bite of spaghetti. This meal was perhaps not the easiest for those without telekinesis to eat cleanly.
Derpy frowned at her younger daughter. “I would just be worried about you, Muffin.”
“Statistically speaking, she would actually be quite safe walking around town on her own,” I added helpfully. “Even the damage to the library was restricted entirely to the basement. The public rooms of the library are still completely intact.”
Dinky turned to look at her mother with a hopeful grin. Derpy gave me a narrow-eyed glare that made me realize I had spoken out of turn. “I would prefer to play it safe with my youngest daughter, Twilight.” Her normally warm and happy tone now had a subtle edge to it, like–well, like a mother correcting a filly that had crossed a line. A 'Sorry, Mom' was half-formed on my lips before I realized what I was saying.
“Oh! Um, sorry, right.” I tried to think of a way to correct myself. “It’s, um, you’re right, Dinky should have somepony walk with her around Ponyville. Statistically speaking, fillies are even safer when they have somepony with them walking around town. Especially since this is Ponyville...” I tried to give Derpy a reassuring smile.
Derpy gave me a smile in return. It seemed that I had corrected my error. “Exactly, little fillies need an adult to walk with them around town.”
“Aww,” whined Dinky. “I wanna be a big pony so I can go where I want.”
“Um, you should listen to your mother,” I said. “She knows what she’s talking about.” Derpy’s nod of approval eased my worry about the fact that I had undermined her. It seemed my dad’s tactic to mimic whatever my mom said where Shining or I were concerned was the winning strategy. Sparkler had been a bit wiser than myself and had simply tried to not be noticed.
Derpy picked up a napkin and started to rub Dinky’s face where she had gotten a generous helping of spaghetti sauce on her face. Dinky tried to move her head away, but Derpy held her in place with practiced calm. “So how about today? I figure you’ve spent most of your day cleaning up after the explosion.”
I scratched the back of my neck. “Um, not exactly. I spent the morning getting some tea and a few potions from Zecora. That took a bit longer than normal due to all the trails being muddy from last night’s storm. Then I stopped by the library, and ...” I found myself trailing off as I tried to think of something other than my fight with Spike to talk about. “And then I came over here to interview you. That’s pretty much been my entire day.”
Derpy gave me a slight frown as she finished wiping Dinky off. Sparkler seems to be concentrating on her dinner while looking at me through the corner of her eye. “So are you waiting to clean the library’s basement?” asked Derpy. “I can’t begin to imagine how much of a mess that will be to clean up.”
“Oh, I had Spike get started on that.” I shrugged as I levitated over a piece of bread for me to eat. “It was his fault that the lab in the basement was destroyed in the first place, so it’s his job to clean up.”
Derpy gave Dinky’s face one last look over before letting her go back to her meal. “Isn’t he, uh, still kinda young?”
“Well yes, by dragon standards he’s still a baby.” I took a bite out my bread.
Derpy slowly ran a hoof back and forth along her jawline. “Wouldn’t cleaning the basement after, you know, an explosion be a bit much for him, all on his own?”
I had to take a moment to think about that. “Well um, I was going to help him this evening, but ... stuff got in the way.”
“If you say so.” Derpy didn’t sound particularly convinced by what I had said. What was I supposed to tell her? That Spike and I had gotten into a fight over him destroying my lab? I’m sure she had more than enough problems to deal with as a working mom with two children.
Sparkler said something about needing to go to the restroom and excused herself from the table.
I then felt something a bit--odd–off really, with my magical senses. I turned to see Dinky concentrating hard on trying to levitate a cylinder of parmesan cheese to herself. Her horn was giving off sparks and the strain on Dinky’s face was plainly obvious. My eyes widened and I reached out with my own magic. I canceled out the spell Dinky had been attempting to cast and locked her magic down--a relatively simple pair of tasks to do with a very young unicorn. Shutting down another unicorn’s magic was essentially an instinctual thing for most unicorns. It’s a bit of a necessary skill to have in order to deal with unicorn foals and their wild magic surges, or in this case, prevent an untrained and young unicorn like Dinky from hurting herself by trying to use her magic. It was virtually impossible to pull off on a full-grown unicorn who didn’t want you to do that to them, but Dinky was far from that stage in her life.
Dinky blinked a few times in surprise and looked up at her horn. “Woah, easy there!” I said cautiously. “Be careful, or you could really hurt yourself. You need to wait until you’ve been taught how to control your magic flow before you should try to levitate anything.”
“It’s fine, Twilight, she’s just practicing her magic,” Derpy tried to reassure me. “Her spilling a bit of cheese onto the table isn’t a big deal--I’ve done worse.”
I turned to Derpy and tried to not let my jaw drop. Didn’t she know how much Dinky could hurt herself? I looked to see Dinky squeezed her lips together in a pout and looked down at the table. Derpy didn’t seem to be particularly concerned that Dinky could have accidently hurt herself. Perhaps Dinky’s tutor hadn’t explained that Dinky shouldn’t be casting spells she wasn’t completely ready for at her age?
I decided that given my previous gaffe I better try a more private conversation with her instead of trying to contradict her in front of her children. “Um, Derpy, could we talk in private please?” I didn’t particularly like the idea of telling Derpy how to raise her child, but I didn’t want Dinky to hurt herself because her mom didn’t know any better either. I figured Dinky’s long term health was the higher priority here than Derpy’s feelings.
Derpy briefly hesitated before answering. “Um, of course, Twilight.” She stood up slowly from the table. “Dinky, help your sister clean up when you’re done eating, okay?”
“Okay,” Dinky said dejectedly. She reached over to grab the parmesan cheese with her legs and started messily pouring it onto her spaghetti.
I stood up and followed Derpy out of the dining room and into the living room. She turned to face me and whispered, “Was there something you needed to talk about, Twilight?”
“Um, yes, of course.” I shuffled from hoof to hoof. This wasn’t going to be a particularly comfortable discussion. “How much do you know about unicorn development and magic?”
Derpy glanced towards the dining room and then back to me. “Not all the much really. I grew up as a pegasus in a pegasi family, so it didn’t really come up when I was growing up. I’m having Sparkler teach Dinky magic, and that seems to be working out fine.”
I watched as Sparkler returned from the restroom and set back down at the table. “Exactly how old is Sparkler?”
“Sixteen,” she said immediately. “Why, is there a problem?”
I organized my thoughts as I thought of the best way to explain things to Derpy. “I’m going to be honest, that’s a very young age to be teaching another unicorn. Too young really.”
Derpy glanced back to her daughters before looking back to me. “What do you mean? She’s been doing fine teaching Dinky the basics.”
I put a comforting hoof on Derpy’s shoulder. “Look, I’m sure Sparkler has been doing the best she can, but there’s a lot that goes into teaching a unicorn about magic. It’s a long process, and learning how to use magic is an important part of a unicorn’s development, essential really.” I saw that Derpy was continuing to glance towards the dining room and I moved to block her view and make her look at me. I needed to make sure she was listening to me. “A unicorn learning how to use their magic properly is as important to their health as a pegasus learning to fly. In fact, it’s even more important. Improperly learning how to control their magic can potentially be dangerous, and not using their magic at all can be atrophic to their magic, which in turn can cause serious long term health problems.”
Derpy was giving me her full attention, and she nervously swallowed. “I didn’t know it was quite that serious. I thought it was like with pegasi where learning magic wouldn’t be big deal until they reached adolescence. I thought Sparkler would be fine with Cheerilee covering the more theoretical side of things.”
I motioned for the two of us to sit on the couch. Derpy was listening to me now, and it looked like we might need to talk for a bit. We both made ourselves comfortable on the sofa. “Cheerilee is a good teacher, but this is a case of the blind trying to teach somepony else how to read. While Sparkler may be able to use magic herself, and this is no insult to your daughter, but she isn’t going to have the experience and depths of knowledge to really know how to teach a unicorn Dinky’s age. She might be able to teach another unicorn a spell she knows, but that’s all she’s really going to be able to do at this point in her life.”
“I don’t understand.” Derpy shook her head in confusion. “Isn’t that all there is to it, just learn spells and cast them?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not that easy.” I thought of a way to explain it to a non-unicorn who had no real experience with unicorn magic. I was going to guess that Derpy hadn’t learned much on this matter due to her upbringing, and the fact she had lived in Ponyville, an earth pony town with relatively few unicorns. “A unicorn learning how to use magic is like building a house: you need to build a solid foundation before you can start on the rest of the building, and that’s the point Dinky is in her life, foundation building. There are a lot of things she has to learn to do properly before she can safely use her magic. It’s a long learning process that takes years, but it’s very important that it be done right.”
Derpy chewed on her lower lip as she listened to me. “What should I do then? I just want what’s best for my daughter. I-I didn’t realize.”
“It’s alright.” I put one of my own hooves on hers to reassure her. “The answer is pretty simple: Ponyville doesn’t have the educational institutions to teach a young unicorn like Dinky, so you just need to get her a proper tutor. You had the right idea with Sparkler, but you just need somepony who's a bit older and experienced.”
Derpy’s ears perked up. “Oh, do you have any suggestions?”
Now there was a good question. The lack of unicorns in Ponyville didn’t exactly create a large pool of candidates for Dinky’s tutor. Tutoring a unicorn like Dinky could be a long and time consuming process. Most of the time this would be covered either by family members, family friends, unicorns within the education system if there was a large enough unicorn population base in an area to be of assistance. Another option was to pay for a tutor like my parents had done considering they had the bits to do it.
Derpy was staring at me intently and she had grasped my offered hoof with both of her forehooves. “Um, Twilight, I know it’s probably a lot to ask of a pony ... and I don’t exactly have a lot of bits to pay for lessons, but Rainbow Dash says you know a lot about magic, and ...”
It didn’t exactly take a genius to guess what she was trying to ask, but this wasn’t something to be taken lightly. Teaching a young unicorn to use magic was a huge responsibility. “Oh, so you would like me to, err ...”
She grasped my hoof tighter. “Please, this would mean the world to me.”
I was kind of trapped. She had let me into her home, let me have an interview with her, invited me to dinner with her family. How could I just turn her down when she needed me so badly, with her staring at me with the pleading eyes of a mother who just wanted the best for her child? The answer was I couldn’t. “Sure ... I can teach Dinky, at the very least until Sparkler is old enough to take over.”
My answer made Derpy look like she had just won a million bits. Her eyes lit up and she gave me one the most stupidly happy smiles I had ever seen. She grasped me in a rib-cracking hug. “Oh thank you Twilight, thank you, thank you, thank you! I don’t know how I’ll pay you back, but I’ll think of something!”
“Letting me ... breathe ... would be ... a start,” I gasped. Call me selfish, but I liked being able to take in oxygen and having all my ribs intact.
“Oh, sorry.” She let me go and let out an embarrassed chuckle. “I just get a bit excited sometimes.”
I took a moment to catch my breath. “No, it’s fine. I don’t think any of my ribs are cracked.” I took in a couple more deep breaths. “We’ll just need to hammer out when to schedule Dinky’s first few lessons, and work from there.”
“Okay.” Her bubbly demeanor was suddenly tempered by a slight frown. “But like I said earlier, I don’t exactly have very many bits to pay you. If you’d be willing to wait until I get my Hearth’s Warming bonus, I can probably scrounge up enough bits to—”
I shook my head. “I don’t need the bits, so don’t worry about it.” Now I just need to write up a syllabus, come up with lesson plans, make sure I have all the materials I need—
She gave me another, thankfully lighter, hug. “That’s very generous of you. Trust me, I’ll never forget this. I can see why Rainbow Dash likes you so much. You’re the best pony anypony could hope for.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I tried to reassure her. She was really starting to embarrass me now. “I just like helping other ponies, really.”
She let go of me and gave me another one of her bubbly smiles. “So how would you like muffins for dessert?”
***
Turns out I liked Derpy’s muffins quite a bit. I took another enjoyable bite out of the blueberry muffin while dinner was being finished up. Derpy was putting the dishes into the sink to be cleaned, and she was talking to her older daughter about her plans for the coming week. Dinky had taken the news that I was taking over her magical training quite well. I knew this because she hadn’t stopped hugging my right foreleg since Derpy told her. I was beginning to worry about the lack of blood flow given how hard she was hugging me.
“Um, Derpy,” I said in an attempt to try and interrupt the conversation between her and Sparkler. “Dinky’s going to let go of me eventually, right? I’m not going to need to get a crowbar to pry her off of me, am I? I can’t really feel my leg anymore.”
Derpy looked down at her daughter and patted her on the back. “That’s enough, Muffin. I think she knows how much you appreciate her help, and Miss Twilight needs to be able to walk.”
“Okay,” she said enthusiastically. She released her death grip on my leg and it was seized up with a sharp, prickly sensation as blood started to flow through it once more. “Thanks again, Miss Twilight.”
“You’re welcome.” I would have given her a friendly pat on the head, but that either would have risked me using a limb I wasn’t sure I could use right or risk falling over.
“Come and help me finish putting away the dishes.” Derpy pointed to the slowly growing pile of clean dishes by the sink.
“Alright,” Dinky said with considerably less enthusiasm.
I was busy flexing my leg to get the tingling sensation out of it when Sparkler approached me and scrapped a hoof along the floor. I hoped I hadn’t offended her by taking up Dinky’s magical training. “Hey, um, Miss Twilight, could I ask you something, privately?” She was keeping her head down and wasn’t making eye contact with me. I was curious as to what was making her seem so nervous.
“Sure, I don’t see why not.” I motioned my head towards the living room where we could talk more privately. We both put some distance between us and the kitchen and I turned to talk to Sparkler. “What did you want to ask?”
Sparkler looked back to the kitchen, probably to make sure her mother or sister hadn’t followed us. “I was wondering if you could teach me a spell?”
“I don’t see why not.” I sat down on a nearby cushion to make myself comfortable. “What spell do you want to learn?” Unicorns asking each other to learn specific spells was by no means uncommon. It was pretty common for friends, family, and acquaintances to teach each other the spells they knew, and it was always possible to simply pay another unicorn to learn a spell. My parents and brother had taught me more than a fair number of spells, and Rarity and I had exchanged a few spells when time had allowed. It was always possible to learn a spell straight from a book, but it was a significantly longer and more laborious process to do so than if you were taught directly by another unicorn.
Sparkler kept looking back to the kitchen and fidgeted where she stood. I wondered what seemed to be making her so nervous. “I was hoping to learn a silence spell of some sort.”
I rubbed my chin with a hoof. “What for? There are a lot of different versions of the silence spell, so it depends on what you need it for. I just want to make sure you learn the one that will work best for you.”
Sparkler lowered her head and spoke in nearly a whisper. “You see, Mom’s room’s next to mine, and I ... don’t want to hear ... what’s going on in there. Dinky either, considering she’s down the hall from Mom.”
I crossed my forelegs in front of me while I thought. “What’s the problem, does your mom snore loudly?”
She gritted her teeth and looked to be in pain. “Mom and Cloud Kicker ... are having sex ... right next ... to my room. Mom’s a screamer, and Cloud Kicker ... says things. I’ve heard things I can’t unhear.” She shuddered. “Help me!”
“Oh, oooohhhhh. ” I contemplated this new bit of information. That would explain why Sparkler looked so uncomfortable. “I see, that would be a problem.”
“Ya think?” she shot back with irritation.
I decided to ignore her sarcastic remark. I wouldn’t be particularly happy if I was in Sparkler’s position either. I did a mental inventory of my spells to see which one would work best in this situation. “Good news, I think I do have a spell that should help you.”
I was nearly knocked over when Sparkler lunged at me and wrapped her forelegs around my own. “Teach-me-teach-me-teach-me, please!” She looked up at me with big, pleading eyes.
“I will, I will, just try and not to knock me over here.” I fought to maintain my balance and try to remove my legs from Sparkler’s death grip. “It’s a silence spell that muffles sound from outside of the room you cast it on.” It was a spell I had found particularly useful for my college apartment days, considering some of my neighbors had a tendency to be particularly loud. Loud enough to be quite clear what they were doing, and to affirm that it was likely exactly the type of spell Sparkler needed.
I finally managed to work one of my legs out from Sparkler’s grasp. “I can help teach you the spell this weekend if—”
“Tomorrow, after school,” Sparkler begged me. “Please?” One look into those eyes of hers spoke volumes about her desperation. Just how often were Derpy and Cloud Kicker ... having encounters to make Sparkler want help this badly?
“Sure, tomorrow evening then,” I agreed.
“Oh thank you!” Sparkler grasp me in a tight hug. I seemed to be getting a lot of that from this family today. Maybe they were just the huggy types? At least Sparkler’s hug didn’t threaten to break anything.
“You two seem to be getting along,” said Derpy with amusement from behind me. Sparkler broke the hug with conspicuous quickness and she took a few steps away from me. I turned to see Derpy grinning at the two of us.
Sparkler gave her mother a sheepish smile. “Uh, I was just thanking Miss Twilight for saying she would teach me a spell.”
“I know dear, I heard.” She gave her daughter a friendly nuzzle. “I have a vision problem, not a hearing one.”
I stood up from the cushion and faced the two of them. “Perhaps it’s about time I go? I’ve taken up enough of your time, and it’s getting late.” No offense to the Doo’s, but at the rate I was going they were going to be asking me to start living with them. Everypony seemed to be wanting something from me these days.
Derpy gave me a friendly smile and a nod of her head. “Of course, I’ll show you out then.”
“Thanks,” I replied, and the two of us made our way to the front door. Derpy opened the door for me and I exited with an appreciative nod. I was surprised when I saw Derpy come outside with me and close the door behind her. I turned to face her and I couldn’t help but wonder why she had done so. “Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?”
Derpy looked up and down the street from her home and then turned back to me. “I don’t want to be a busybody, but is everything okay at the library between you and Spike?”
I couldn’t help but wince at the pointed question. “What? O-of course everything’s alright, why wouldn’t it be?”
She gave me an unconvinced frown and she stared at me for a few awkward moments. “I’m a mother of two, Twilight, I have a pretty good sense for when something is up—and no offense, but you’re a terrible liar.”
I looked away from Derpy and down at the ground. I really didn’t want to get into this with a pony I had only just met. It had already been a long day for me without adding this to it. “I don’t want to bother you. I’m sure you have enough troubles without me adding to them.”
Derpy walked over to stand beside me and gave me a couple of comforting pats on the back. “You’re offering to teach my youngest daughter magic while asking for nothing in return. I think I can afford to be bothered a little.”
I continued to look away from her as I thought over what to say. It was hard for me to turn down the help, given I was at a loss over what to do with Spike. “It’s just ... Spike and I are in a bit of a rough spot right now. I don’t know, he’s just been especially grumpy with me for the past few days.”
I lifted my head to look at Derpy and she gave me an encouraging bob of her head. “Go on,” she said. “It’s okay to tell me, I just want to help you.”
I sighed and continued. Part of me just wanted to get this off my chest. “Then yesterday he broke lab safety guidelines and had my entire lab destroyed. I grounded him for a month and I told him it was his job to clean up the basement for what he did. I thought he would be at least a little bit sorry for what he did, but if anything he was even more grumpy with me today.” I stomped my hoof ground it into the dirt. “We got into a big argument when I didn’t like his tone with me, and he didn’t even seem to care when I threatened to punish him some more.” I rubbed my eyes due to my own weariness and frustration. “I just don’t know what to do with him now.”
She stared at me for a few seconds before speaking. “If I can ask, what is Spike to you?”
“He’s like a little brother to me,” I answered without thinking. “Or at least that’s how I like to think of him.”
“It’s just you two in the library, right?” she asked.
I nodded my head slowly. “Yeah, it’s just the two of us. We moved to Ponyville together after the Summer Sun Celebration the other year. We’ve been living together for years, so I just brought him with me.”
“How about we go back to my garden to talk? This might take a bit.” She pointed to a gate that led to the backyard of her home.
“Um, that sounds alright.” I followed her as she unlatched the gate and led me to the side yard of her home.
Derpy closed the gate behind her before turning to walk by me to the backyard. “So you’ve been raising Spike all by yourself then?”
“The Princess and her staff took care of him when he was born, but yeah, I’ve pretty much been taking care of him since then.” We rounded out into the backyard of Derpy’s home. I was awashed in the fragrancy of the gardens that adorned the place. Patches of flowers dotted the backyard, and were arranged in precise patterns to decorate the area. A vegetable garden with a variety of fruits and vegetables sat next to a small swing set at the rear end of the backyard. “He’s my responsibility in any case. The Princess and my parents have helped a bit, but out here in Ponyville I’m all he really has.”
Derpy stepped onto the porch attached to the back of her home. “So you’re pretty much his parent then?”
I stepped onto the porch along with Derpy. “I, um, never really thought of it that way,” I admitted reluctantly. “Like I said, I’ve always thought of him as my little brother.”
“Twilight, you need to start thinking of yourself as a parent if you're the only pony in his life, even if that isn’t what you call yourself.” She sat down on a swinging bench that hung above the porch. “He’s depending on you to raise him right.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I walked around to examine the patches of flowers that surrounded the porch as I thought over my relationship to Spike. “I know I have to take care of him. I mean, I make sure he is educated, gets to bed on time, gets the gems he needs to eat, cleans himself, and I get on his case for trying to eat food that other ponies would consider trash--especially when it's in the trash--I seriously wonder if there's anything dragons can't eat.”
Derpy kicked off and got the bench to start swinging slightly. “It’s that and more, children have more than just physical needs. Children are more than just pets.”
That last comment caused my head to snap Derpy’s direction. “I know that!” I exclaimed much more forcefully than I intended. She directed a concerned frown at me and I went back to looking at the flowers. “It’s just ... I don’t know.”
Derpy continued to follow me with her gaze as I paced around her garden. “Has anything changed recently between you and Spike?”
I stopped in my tracks as I tried to think if anything significant had changed recently. “Um, not that I can think of.”
“You sure about that?” she asked without sounding convinced. “What do you do with Spike everyday?”
I massaged the side of my head as I tried to think what Derpy was going for here. “Uh, just the usual stuff. We usually have breakfast together, I make sure he does his home-school work, then he usually helps me with my studies, we might go out together into town or whatever, and then we have dinner before going to bed.”
Derpy rubbed her bottom lip as she seemed to be considering what I had said. “And has any of that changed recently?”
I sat down and leaned against one of the porches’ support posts and I considered her question. “I ... suppose Spike hasn’t been as involved with this recent study. He’s usually helping me more with my projects.” I turned to look directly at Derpy as something clicked in my head. “Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve been spending much time at all with Spike recently.”
Derpy tapped her nose a couple time in an purposeful manner. “Do you ever do anything with Spike just for the sake of doing it with him?”
“I don’t understand. What do you mean?” Derpy now held my attention as I tried to figure out her point.
Derpy shook her head and tisked at me. “Spike is a child, and children need regular attention. They have certain needs that have to be taken care of. I have to make sure I spend time with my daughters every day. Given how busy I usually am at work, that isn’t always easy.”
“Well, I, um ...” I found myself pausing. What did I have to say about that? When was the last time I had taken the effort to just spend time with Spike?
“Does he have anyone else to spend time with?” Derpy asked seriously. “He doesn’t go to school and play with children his own age, he doesn’t have any friends that I have seen, no other family, and you just uprooted him and moved him to a new town.”
That was pretty much all true. Dragons’ social interaction was a bit different than that of ponies ... I think so anyways. Strangely enough, there wasn’t all that much information about dragons in the books I had read. Spike seemed social enough with the ponies he met, he got along with all my friends and with the ponies who came into the library, but ... he never really seemed to go out and do things with other ponies, except for Rarity, now that I really thought about it.
I looked down at the smooth wood of the porch. It looked like a fairly recent addition to the fairly old home. “No, I guess he doesn’t have anypony else,” I said remorsefully.
She stood up from the bench and walked over to me. “So do you think he might have a reason to be a bit upset when you stop spending time with him?”
I looked up at Derpy and frowned. “That didn’t give him an excuse to ignore lab safety guidelines and cause my lab's destruction,” I said defensively.
Derpy let out an amused chuckled and sat down opposite of me. “I never said he didn’t deserve to be grounded. What I’m saying is that there might be a reason why you two aren’t getting along right now, and I think at least now you know why.”
My heart felt heavy as I thought about Spike and the preceeding week. Had I really been that neglectful towards my number one assistant? Did the time he spent with me during my research and studies mean that much to him? I thought back and remembered when Owlowiscious had first come to join us in the library. Spike had gotten more than a little jealous of my new owl familiar when he thought he’d been replaced. I shouldn’t have been surprised when Spike had a similarly negative reaction to being cut out of my latest study on Cloud Kicker.
I quickly stood up from my sitting position and nearly stumbled in the process before Derpy raised a pair of hooves to steady me. “I need to go home--I think ... there are a few things I need to do.”
Derpy stood up and gave me a couple comforting pats on the shoulder. “I’m sure there are,” she said with a bubbly smile. “How about you head on home and take care of Spike?”
“Yeah, I think I’ll do that.” I hopped off the porch before I stopped to turn around and faced Derpy. “Oh, and thanks for the talk. I probably needed it.”
Derpy stepped off of the porch to stand next to me. “For the help you're giving Dinky, anything.” She wrapped a leg around my shoulders to give me a friendly hug.
I took one of my own legs and returned the hug. “Sure thing, I just know from personal experience how important it is to have a good tutor at that age, and I’m happy to help.”
She slowly broke the hug and gave me a friendly grin. “You’re a good pony, Twilight. I’m sure you and Spike will do just fine.”
We started to walk towards the front of her home. “Thanks, if I do half as well as you do with Sparkler and Dinky, I think I’ll be alright.”
“I try the best I can,” she stated simply. “It’s what they deserve.”
“See you soon then?” I asked when we reached the path outside of Derpy’s home. “I ... didn’t get to all the interview questions I had earlier. I suppose we can finish this up at a later date? Once I get a few other things straightened out?”
I turned around to face Derpy as she stopped to close the gate to her side yard and gave me a nod. “Sounds good. See you later.”
“Bye.” With a final friendly wave I turned to go back to the library and make some amends.
***
“Spike, I’m home,” I called out tentatively as I slowly topped the stairs leading to the second story of the library. I looked up to see Spike in his basket, curled up with a comic book by the looks of it. His eyes glanced my way and he turned his body to have his back face me. Yeah, he was still pretty unhappy with me. To be fair, he had good reasons to be. In addition to all the other things that had been going on, I had missed eating dinner with him--again. To be honest, I was still unhappy about the lab and how he had treated me, but my own temper had cooled off a bit thanks to my talk with Derpy. That was probably something I was going to need to work on in the future.
I walked to the upstairs closet and opened the door. A dozen or so dusty board games stared out at me. “Hey Spike, would you like to play Battle Clouds?” I pulled the board game out of the closet and showed the face of the box to Spike. I gave the board game a slight shake and I smiled hopefully at him. Spike had always liked playing Battle Clouds.
Spike shifted his body and glowered down at me. “No, you always complain about how easy that game is, and I don’t wanna deal with it tonight.”
Oh, yeah, I had said that on a few occasions when Spike had asked me if we could play. Just how much damage had I done to our relationship over the years without even realizing it? How many times had I hurt him or neglected him? These weren’t particularly comforting thoughts. Spike had always just kind of been there for me, but how often had I been there for him on a day-to-day basis?
I shoved the Battle Clouds box back into the closet. I really needed to organize these board games; they were a mess. I fought down the urge to figure out if I wanted to organize the board games by either size or alphabetically, and concentrated on finding something the two of us could sit down and enjoy.
I pulled out a couple other board games and levitated them up where Spike could see them. “How about Settlers of Equestria or Chaos and Harmony then?” They were each quite a bit more complex than Battle Clouds and wouldn’t bore me to tears a few minutes into the game. Which was good considering Spike would probably be able to pick up pretty quickly if I wasn’t enjoying myself.
Spike laid his head on the rim of his basket and continued to give me a disapproving look. “Nugh, those games take forever to set up, and I don’t want to be up all night playing them. They’re boring with just the two of us anyways.” He turned his body to lie on his back and went back to reading his comic. Alright, now I was losing him completely. Why was it so hard just to pick a stupid board game the two of us could sit down and play? This seemed like a much easier idea to pull off on the way back to the library. I decided to go with a change in tactics.
I proceeded to pull out all of the board games I had in the closet with my telekinesis. I put them into a revolving circle to give Spike the chance to see what was available. “What would you like to play then?”
Spike sat up to look back down at me with narrowed eyes. “And why do you suddenly care what I think?”
I started walking up the stairs to get to the platform where all of our beds rested. “Spike, I realize things haven’t been ... going that well between us for the past couple days.”
Spike got up onto his knees to face me. He snorted with derision. “You could say that again,” he said with annoyance. I chose to ignore Spike’s tone with me. I wasn’t exactly going to mend fences by setting them on fire.
I reached Spike’s basket and sat down next to it. “Right, so I was hoping we could spend some time doing something fun together.” I levitated a couple of board games up and gave each of them a couple playful shakes. I started pleading with him, I really wanted to start to make things right with him. “Please, we could get some cookies and something to drink also while we play.”
Spike crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. “Fine.”
Finally, I was making some progress. “So what would you like to play?” I asked hopefully.
“Um.” Spike looked at my slowly revolving circle of board games and the barest crack of a smile began to show. He pointed a talon at one of the games. “How about Guess the Pony?”
“That sounds good to me.” I levitated Guess the Pony out of the circle and put the rest of the games back into the closet. I decided that just stacking them based on size would have to do for now, nothing fancy quite yet. I set the game Spike had chosen down on the table. “So how about I go downstairs and get something for the two of us to snack on while you set the game up?”
Spike stepped out of his basket, where his comic lay forgotten. “Yeah, sounds good,” he said with joyful excitement.
“Good, I’ll be right back.” I quickly trotted down to the kitchen and collected some chocolate chip cookies and two glasses of milk. I returned upstairs to see that Spike was finishing setting the game up. I laid the plate of cookies and milk by where he had set everything up.
“You ready to get started?” I asked hopefully. I grabbed the rulebook that Spike had discarded along with the box, and I quickly started to review the rules for the game. I pulled a card out of the game’s deck, and looked at the male unicorn that adorned the face of the card. That would be the pony Spike would have to guess in order to win.
Spike grabbed a cookie and quickly devoured it. “Sure, can I go first?” He drew his own card to examine.
“Go ahead.” I looked over the two board pieces of the game. Just a pair of plastic pieces you could fold for easy packaging. The top piece had a bunch of pictures of different, cartoonishly drawn ponies. The bottom half had three dozen titles that could be flipped up and down with the same ponies on the top piece of plastic on them.
Spike looked at his tiles with intensity as he rubbed his chin. “Is it ... a male unicorn wearing glasses?”
My eyes widened. “What?! Spike—you—no ... you can’t ask that as your first question! That’s not how you’re supposed to play the game. You’re supposed to methodically narrow down the options until you —”
Spike smirked at me. “It is, isn’t it?” He giggled and bounced up and down in his seat.
I let out an exasperated groan and watched as he knocked down all but two of his own tiles. The game had not started out well for me. Unless I made a radically good guess of my own, this round was going to go to Spike. Curse his ridiculously good luck.
True, I could have spent my time on something more worthwhile like research, cleaning the basement, or ... no, this is the most important thing for me to be doing at the time. Spending time with Spike should be my highest priority. I’m basically his bigger sister after all, and a big sister needs to look out for her little brother.
My basement was filthy. Sure, you would expect your basement to be a bit dirty after it exploded, but you really don’t get your head around the idea until you try and clean it up. All the soot, dirt, destroyed lab equipment, furniture, flooring, walls, and chemicals had mixed together to make a multilayered mess that needed to be scraped off one layer at a time. Spike and I had been going at it for hours, ever since we woke up in the morning, and it was just an endless grind. Needless to say, it was a miserable experience.
I slowly made my way up the steps from the basement and into the main room of the library. Spike sat lethargically on my back, and his eyes were only halfway open as he swayed slightly. We were both absolutely filthy from all the grime and soot of the basement. I could feel it penetrating my coat and onto my skin. I didn’t even wantto look at myself in the mirror.
Upon finishing my trek upthe stairs, I picked Spike up with my magic and gently placed him by the table. I didn’t want him sliding off my back and falling on the ground, which he seemed to be just about ready to do. He took the opportunity to lean forward and lay the side of his head against the table. I suddenly had a very good idea of why Spike was particularly grumpy yesterday: that basement was just a nightmare.
I rubbed at my eyes to fight back fatigue. “Alright, Spike, we’re just going to take the rest of the day off. We’ve done enough for one day.”
Spike shifted his head a bit to better look at me, but didn’t make any other efforts to move. “Uh, finally. Can we never have the lab explode again?”
“I’ll consider it,” I said flatly. I slid my forelegs forward and leaned back to stretch out my limbs and back, causing a few audible pops. “At least not for a couple of years. I keep forgetting how much of a hassle cleanup is.”
Spike pushed himself up to get his head off the table. “Could you at least find a way to blow things up in a clean way? Like a self-cleaning explosion?”
I rubbed my chin as I thought that idea over. I wondered if there was a way to prevent a mess from happening in the first place? I could save so much time from my irregular disasters if I could do that. “Hm, I suppose I could find a way to potentially set up trigger wards to cause some sort of black hole or maelstrom to suck up all the—”
Spike slammed his claws down on the table. “Twilight, you’re doing it again.”
I raised an eyebrow as I looked down at him. “What?”
Spike rolled his eyes at me. “That thing you do where you come up with really bad ideas to solve problems.”
Sometimes Spike just didn’t understand when I was trying to develop better ways of doing things. “I’m just trying to come up with a logical solution to prevent an explosion from causing a big mess we have to clean up.” I used my telekinesis to pull down a couple of books that were pertinent to my line of thinking. I wondered if it was possible to set up my lab so that an explosion could be harnessed to supply the energy necessary to reset the room back in time to before it exploded? Would that work, or would it just create an endless paradox of explosions? I needed to do research.
Spike rubbed at his face and groaned. “It doesn’t count if you turn the library into a crater.”
I started flipping through the pages of a book on time travel theory. It really was an interesting topic. “I’m not going to turn the library into a crater, Spike.” He always got worried when I pushed the limits of arcane knowledge to achieve relatively mundane goals.
He looked like he was about to raise another objection when I heard the door to the library open. I craned my head to see Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth enter the library. Ugh, exactly what I needed. As if my day wasn’t long enough as it was.
I put on a smile for the two of them. “Nice to see you two.” I turned to Spike. “How about you go ahead and get yourself cleaned up? I’ll take care of this and take a bath once you’re done.” I wanted to get Spike out of here before Cloud Kicker started her antics.
Spike slowly picked himself up off the floor and failed at trying to dust himself off. “Uh, sure.”
“Just try and not to use the town's supply of hot water again,” I said as he made his way up the stairway. “Everypony was really cranky when you did that last time.” Spike gave me a noncommittal grunt as he walked out of sight.
Cloud Kicker gave me a sultry smirk. “So Duchess, how about I get your back when it’s your turn for a bath?”
I couldn’t help but rub my face and gave an irritated groan. “I think I can manage to clean myself, Cloud Kicker.”
“I’m sure you can, but I bet you would have a whole hay of a lot more fun if you had me around to help with all those hard to reach places.” Blossomforth just rolled her eyes at her friend’s antics, trying her hardest to act distracted as she looked at anything but the two of us.
“Somehow I think I’ll survive without all the fun you can provide,” I remarked sarcastically.
“Just saying, if you ever want some special tub fun, I’m game.” She gave me a nice, big wink.
I wasn’t particularly in the mood for her games. I had plenty of other more important things I could be doing other then have Cloud Kicker harass me, so I decided to get straight to the point. “What do you want, Cloud Kicker?”
Cloud Kicker seemed completely unphased by either my sarcasm or curt manners as she continued to grin at me. “Just wanted to know if you have my potions before I fly off to the Everfree Forest.”
“Oh right, those.” I concentrated on my magic for a moment in order to search for the extradimensional pocket plane I had set up for things I didn’t want Spike to get into. Such a thing had become necessary to keep Spike out of his Hearth’s Warming Day presents. Dragons could be a bit grabby. After a moment I grabbed what I wanted, and I floated the potions over to Cloud Kicker, quite happy to be rid of them. “Here you go.”
“Thanks Duchess, you’re a pal.” After putting the potions in her saddlebag, Cloud Kicker gave me an appreciative nod of her head.
I took a calming breath in order to ignore her nickname for me. “So if that’s all you two need—”
Blossomforth cleared her throat. “Um, I was also wanting to check out a book while we’re here.”
Right, this was a library. Ponies check books out of those. “Oh, right, feel free to look around. There’s...” I motioned around the library. “Plenty of books to check out.”
“Thanks,” she said coolly. Blossomforth walked past me and started perusing the fiction section of the library.
I followed after Blossomforth and moved to stand next to her. “Look, Blossomforth, I’m sorry about what happened in the lab.”
“Uh-huh,” she said as she continued to look at the bookshelves. Cloud Kicker seemed busy looking at another bookshelf at the moment.
Looked like apologizing wasn’t going to be as easy as I had hoped. The cold shoulder she was giving me meant she was probably still mad about me dragging her around my lab, getting possessed by an air spirit, and getting thrown around by an explosion. Oh, and there was the not-kiss we had which had been walked in on by the one pony who would not take my word that it was just CPR for some reason.
Okay, she had good reasons to be mad.
I moved my body next to the bookshelves to force myself into her line of vision. “I didn’t mean for things to get out of hoof like that. But they did, and I’m sorry for that.” I gave her a strained smile. “Can you forgive me, please?”
Blossomforth closed her eyes and let out a long breath. “Okay, fine, we’re cool. I know you didn’t do any of that on purpose. How about we just drop it and move on?”
My smile became less strained. “Sounds good to me, I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”
“That’s okay,” Blossomforth said very quickly. “You don’t need to do anything. Everything’s fine now.”
“You could always kiss and make up,” said Cloud Kicker from the other side of the room. How in the world did she hear us!?
Blossomforth started blushing and moved her face as close to the shelves as possible.
I let out a cough. “Um, was there anything that you were looking for?”
“Nothing in particular.” Blossomforth was suddenly very interested in the books on the shelf. “I’m just trying to see what catches my interest.”
“I know there’s a couple of books I’m looking at right now I would like to open up and read,” Cloud Kicker offered. I looked over to see her smirk at me and move her eyebrows up and down.
I shook my head in irritation at Cloud Kicker’s antics and turned my attention back to Blossomforth. “How about the new Daring Do novel? It just came out this month.”
“Ugh.” Blossomforth’s ears flattened on her head. “The series was never the same when the original author died halfway through the twelfth book. It lost me when the new writer had Daring save herself from a megaspell by hiding inside an icebox.”
I grimaced internally when I remember that book. “Okay, yeah, the series took a brief nosedive when Equestrian Arts bought the rights to the franchise. I’ll admit, those three books were really bad.”
Cloud Kicker trotted up to the two of us, her ears perked in interest. “You mean the ones where Daring Do suddenly became darker and grittier, and Daring herself became an antihero who started killing ponies who got in her way and sold the artifacts she found for personal gain instead of for the benefit of ponykind?”
“Yeah, those,” confirmed Blossomforth gloomily.
I massaged the side of my head as oh-so-many suppressed memories came to the forefront of my brain. “Uh, I don’t even want to get into the Starfilly and how Daring’s entire quest came down to three arbitrary and constraining choices that resulted in a bad ending for book fifteen no matter which decision she was forced into.”
“Stupid BioMare,” Blossomforth agreed bitterly. “That’s not even getting into how the new author decided he didn’t like Daring’s husband. Given he had Daring sell her marriage to Tirek so that she could save her eight thousand year old mummified uncle.”
Cloud Kicker applied her hoof to her face. “Yeah, all so he could open the way to some alicorn could instantly hook up with Daring as a romantic interest. An alicorn who seemed to have a suspiciously similar color scheme as the author. It didn’t help that the romantic bits were terribly written, either.”
The three of us shuddered in unison. Even Cloud Kicker seemed too appalled to make an inappropriate comment about the moment.
“Then the FyreFlye spinoff got cancelled after only one book.” Blossomforth sighed and looked down at the floor. “I really liked FyreFlye. It was witty, funny, and had great action in it.”
I remembered the book series that was never given a chance also. “Yeah, that was a real shame.” I chuckled. “Didn’t Captain Firefly remind you of Rainbow Dash?”
Blossomforth let out a joyous laugh. “Oh Celestia, yes! I kept finding myself imagining Firefly looking like a recolored Dash half the time when I was reading it. Made for a convenient voice to have in my head.”
I spotted the sixteenth book of the Daring Doo series and pulled it out for Blossomforth to look at. “The newest author is better,” I stated in defense of my favorite book series, despite three absolutely horrendous books. “She has to deal with a lot of crazy, market-driven requests from the owners of the series, but she manages to make them work for the most part. They aren’t as good as the original, but they’re worth reading, if you ask me.”
Blossomforth gave the book an examinary glare. “Hm, I guess I could give it a try.”
“Great.” I pulled out Binder, my faithful notebook that kept track of all the books that had been checked out. “If you don’t like it then you can just stop reading future books.” I walked over to the center table in the room and got to work checking the book out.
Blossomforth walked over to watch as I finished the checkout process. “Sure, it can’t be worse than the books with the crystal vamponies.”
I slammed Binder closed harder then was probably necessary. Binder really didn’t deserve such rough treatment because of terrible literature. “We don’t talk about those books in this library, Blossomforth,” I growled. “When we received our copies, there was a fire out back. Spike and I had marshmallows. Vamponies do not glitter.”
Blossomforth raised an eyebrow. “Oookay, if you say so. But as the librarian, should you not be destroying books?”
“It was a community service,” I said bitterly. There were certain things vamponies were and weren’t supposed to do. What that book did ... no, just no. I lifted Blossomforth’s book up and placed it inside her saddlebag.
Cloud Kicker walked up to stand uncomfortably close to me. “So, Duchess, I’ve heard that you’ve been interviewing all my friends and friends-with-benefits.” She leaned her head in to be almost touching mine and smirked. “I hope you’re planning on giving me my very own special interview too.” She whispered seductively into my ear. “I was told you were going to very thorough.”
I made the point of taking a pair of very large steps away from Cloud Kicker. She’s almost as bad as Pinkie Pie about personal space, only with added aspects to make her even more uncomfortable to be around.
“I just wanted to lay some groundwork down before I got around to interviewing you,” I said neutrally.
She frowned at me to give me a pouty face. “So when were you planning on giving me your direct attention? I was hoping we were going to spend some quality time together.”
I narrowed my eyes at Cloud Kicker. “Yeah, I’m sure you were.”
That did bring up the question of when exactly I did plan on interviewing Cloud Kicker directly. Thus far I had been avoiding the matter, if I was going to be honest with myself. Sure, all the side research and interviews were important for my research, but I had barely talked to Cloud Kicker herself about the matter. I had to think over if I was just procrastinating because I wasn’t wild about my research subject.
True, there was always more research that could be done. I was even thinking about going to Canterlot to look up some leads that had caught my interest, but ... there was a strong part of me that just wanted to get this over with. Just do the interview, write up the report on what I had found thus far, and turn it in for Princess Luna...
I made my decision. “Is your schedule open a couple of days from now? I think we could take care of this interview in an afternoon if you are available.”
Cloud Kicker gave me a mischievous grin. “My afternoons are always available for a hot piece of adorkable plot like you.”
I massaged my forehead to keep a headache from building up. “Sure, fine, whatever. So, three days from today, in the afternoon. Sound good?”
Before I could think of something to say to that, I heard another pony enter through the front door of the library. I turned to see Derpy shifting through her mailbag. “Hi, Derpy.”
Cloud Kicker trotted up to Derpy and gave her a nuzzle. “Nice to see you again.” She stretched her head to get a good look of—what else?—Derpy’s plot. “Very nice.” Derpy giggled and proceeded to give Cloud Kicker a kiss. Which Cloud Kicker quickly reciprocated and started to make a bit deeper then may have been technically decent in public. Some ponies.
Blossomforth frowned as Derpy and Cloud Kicker greeted and looked away when they kissed. I guess even she got tired of Cloud Kicker’s antics, even if she was Cloud Kicker’s completely platonic best friend.
Done with her public display of affection, Derpy went back to looking through her mailbag. “Hello everypony! I’ve got your mail, Twilight.” She pulled a small stack of envelopes out of the bag and offered them to me.
I took them from her with my magic. “Thanks.”
Derpy gave me a sheepish grin. “Oh, and I wanted to thank you again for helping Dinky and Sparkler with their magic. It really means a lot to me.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I said as I placed my mail on a shelf where we kept the mail until I had time to go through it. “I’m happy to help. Thanks for letting me interview you having me over for dinner.”
Cloud Kicker gave me a grin not unlike that of a cat who just caught the mouse stealing the cheese. “So, I take it you ate Derpy’s muffins?”
“Yeah, I had a couple while I was over at her place.”
Cloud Kicker snorted and suppressed a laugh.
I frowned irritably. What game was she playing now? “What, they’re delicious.”
She struggled to contain her laughter. “I bet you’d like to eat them all night, wouldn’t you?”
I took a moment to consider my answer to make sure it couldn’t be misconstrued. “I wouldn't see anything wrong with eating muffins all night while doing an all-night cram session.”
Like a dam bursting, Cloud Kicker lost her battle to keep back her tide of laughter and dropped to the floor laughing uproariously. Blossomforth rolled her eyes at her friend while Derpy covered her mouth with a hoof to suppress a giggle.
My ears fell flat on my head. “Okay, there is something I’m missing here, isn’t there?”
Cloud Kicker managed to stop her laughing long enough to reply to me. “Think about it Duchess! Muffins!”
I put my genius level intellect to the task of trying to decipher what Cloud Kicker was getting at. Once I remembered that this was Cloud Kicker we were talking about, the pieces of the puzzle fell together quite easily. “Oh. Oh! Oh I hate you so much right now!”
Cloud Kicker’s laughter only intensified. Derpy turned away from me to cover up her own mirth, and even Blossomforth was starting to get in on the act.
I groaned with frustration. “Are you determined to make everything sound perverse?”
Cloud Kicker was trying hard to draw in a full breath through her laughter. “Of course not.”
My ears flattened on the top of my head. “Sure, laugh it up. Just laugh away at ruining baked goods for me.”
Cloud Kicker finally managed to get her laughter under control and rolled onto her stomach. “Oh, come on Duchess, baked goods are inherently sexual. Especially pastries--just look at donuts. Or eclairs—that long shaft, and the tasty cream filling...”
This wasn’t the type of thing I wanted to be listening to. I liked my food nice and phallic imagery free. I covered my ears with my hooves. “Not listening, lalalala!”
Blossomforth covered her mouth and suddenly looked ill. “Okay, that probably just ruined eclairs forever for me.”
Derpy shrugged her shoulders. “Meh, once you realize just about everything can be innuendo, it doesn’t really bother you anymore.”
Cloud Kicker raised herself to her hooves and dusted herself off. “Aw, you two are no fun. Need me to give you a couple of secs to feel better?”
I lowered my hooves from my ears. “I would like you to stop ruining food groups for me.”
“Aw, you just need to learn how to have fun with life,” Cloud Kicker said with amusement.
“I think I could live without your brand of fun,” I said flatly.
Cloud Kicker tisked at me. “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it. I could give you a lesson during our interview, a sexylesson.”
“As much fun as it would be to look at your syllabus and study your readings, I think I will have to turn you down,” I said snarkily.
Cloud Kicker waved her hoof at me. “Nah, none of that type of stuff in Sexy 101. I prefer a hooves-on approach in my classes.”
I put trusty old Binder back into his assigned spot. “How about we just stick to a normal, straight-forward interview?”
Cloud Kicker gave a derisive snort. “Doesn’t sound as interesting as my idea.”
I shook my head out of irritation. “I think you’ll live; thus far, nopony has been recorded to have died of boredom.”
“But why take the chance?” Cloud Kicker asked with a grin.
“Because I’m a mad and crazy risk-taker,” I shot back. “My life is just filled with crazy.”
“Did I hear somepony talkin’ about baked goods?” said Pinkie as she hopped her way into the library. She was carrying one of the Sugarcube’s carry out boxes on her back. “Because I’ve got a super-special delivery for all of my super-special friends!” She bucked her hips and sent the box flying to land on the library’s central table.
I looked at Cloud Kicker and motioned at Pinkie with my head. “Case in point: my friend Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie Pie quickly pulled out a half dozen books from a shelf and started juggling them, much to my annoyance. “I love making everypony’s lives interesting!”
“And you’re very good at that Pinkie,” I admitted. I grabbed each book out of the air, and put them back on their places on the shelf. I could have told Pinkie to not juggle the library’s books, but it would either go right over her head or possibly hurt her feelings. One had to make for certain allowances when one was Pinkie’s friend. Like how I wasn’t going to think about how Pinkie had known we were talking about baked goods. Trying ... really hard ... to not think about it ... and give myself an aneurysm.
Blossomforth looked inside of the pastry box, turned a little green, and took a few steps away from it.
“Nice! Thanks, Pinkie.” Derpy helped herself to the offered pastries and pulled out a muffin for herself. I was never going to be able to look at muffins innocently again thanks to Cloud Kicker.
Pinkie reached into the box. “Hey, Twilight—want an eclair?” She pulled out one of the pastries and stuck it uncomfortably close to my face.
“No! I mean, um, I’m good, Pinkie.” I slowly pushed Pinkie’s leg and the cream filled pastry from my face.
Cloud Kicker was having a grand old time suppressing more laughter. She deftly grabbed the eclair from Pinkie, taking far more time than was necessary to hold it with Pinkie. “Hey Pinkie … wanna share?”
Whether through divine benevolence, density approaching that of lead, or simply Pinkie being herself, I was spared the indignity of watching them double-team a pastry. (Gah!) “No thanks!” she chirruped, grabbing another eclair from the box. “There’s plenty for everypony today!”
“There’s a rare moment,’ Cloud Kicker mused. She took a moment to look at me and gave me a smolderingly seductive smile, then she slowly wrapped her lips around the eclair and slid it into her mouth. She then slowly removed the phallic pastry and teasingly flicked her tongue over the tip of it. After doing that enough time to ensure that the image would have a place in my nightmares, she slid the eclair back between her lips before she took a nice, slow bite. She moaned in pleasure and licked the white cream off of her lips. “Oh, these are sooo good. They’re the biggest I’ve had in months.”
Despite how horrifying the spectacle was, for some reason I couldn't bring myself to look away from it. It was like watching a train crash, except in this case the train was my innocence and the rock it was crashing into was Cloud Kicker.
And the worst part was, she knew exactly what she was doing. I could tell from the satisfied little smirk on her face. She even had the audacity to wink at me as she continued blatantly fellating the pastry. It was terrible, it was obscene, it was ... making me really, really uncomfortable. I’m pretty sure I was blushing. I could see that Blossomforth was blushing furiously as she was trying very hard to not look at the perverse spectacle but couldn’t help but look at her friend out of the corner of her eye.
I should at least stop giving her the satisfaction of making me watch her shameless display. Yes, that's what I would do. I'm going to stop watching. Now.
... Damn you, Cloud Kicker.
Pinkie gave a disappointed frown, completely oblivious to my discomfort but thankfully providing something to finally take my attention away from the horror show unfolding before me. “Aw, but you love eclairs, Twilight. I brought some especially for you.”
Oh great, guilt. Exactly what I needed now that I had completely stopped watching Cloud Kicker enjoy her eclair more than any pony had a right to enjoy a pastry. “Sorry, it’s just...” Eclairs look horribly phallic to me now. “I’m on a diet now.” A Freudian-pastry free diet, it would seem. At this rate, I was at risk of rejecting even water. I’m sure Cloud Kicker could find a way to make it happen. “They have a lot of calories and all that.”
“Hey, did somepony say something about eclairs?” I saw Spike descending the stairs. It seemed that he had gotten himself cleaned up considering his scales were back to their natural color, instead of near-black from all the soot. I never felt so much horror as Spike walked up and reached into a box of pastries.
“Spike! No!” I reached out a hoof for to plead for him to stop.
Spike scrunched up his eyebrows.“What?” He pulled out one of the dreaded eclairs. Was the universe just conspiring against me?
“It’s just—I, um...” I drew a blank on what to say to Spike. ‘Spike, put that down because it looks like a penis,’ was not going to cut it.
“It’s just an eclair, Twilight, sheesh.” Spike took a bite out of his pastry, causing the overstuffed snack to explode all over his face. He licked the cream from his lips. I was too horrified to look away.
I expected Cloud Kicker to be rolling around and laughing at me, but she was just calmly reaching into the box again to pull out another eclair. She was probably laughing on the inside.
Derpy watched as Cloud Kicker took a bite out of her eclair and her wings pomfed out. “I think it’s time for my lunch break.”
Pinkie hopped over to the pastry box and started to spin it on her hoof in front of Derpy. “Oh good, I’ve got all kinds of yummy—”
“Thank you Pinkie,” Derpy said in a strained voice. “But I’d rather eat at home.” She looked at Cloud Kicker and spoke firmly. “You’re coming—right Cloud Kicker?”
Cloud Kicker’s ears perked when Derpy spoke to her. “Um, actually I already had my lunch break, so...”
Derpy quickly trotted over to Cloud Kicker and started pushing her towards the library entrance. “You're hungry again! Now come with me!” Blossomforth glared at the two of them through the corner of her eye.
Cloud Kicker nearly stumbled as she was pushed along. “Well, if you insist...” As soon as the two of them exited the library they took flight. Probably towards Derpy’s house, to do ... things. Cloud Kicker still had an eclair in her hooves when the two of them left.
... Sometimes I wish my brain didn't have the capacity to produce mental images.
“Everything alright, Twilight?” Pinkie asked as I stared at the doorway. “You look like you swallowed a bug? Did you swallow a bug? I know how nasty that can be. When I’m running really super fast sometimes I make the mistake of opening my mouth and a bug will fly right in, and I’ll be all, ew, icky, and have to stop and cough and stuff. Because that isn’t really fun to have happen to you, and—”
“I-I just need to get cleaned up. I’ve just had a long morning is all.” I looked away as Spike took another bite out of his eclair. “Just a nice, long shower to try and forget a few things.”
I could already tell that my research with Cloud Kicker was going to leave some scars.
***
I was quite happy to get away from Cloud Kicker and her antics. I didn’t know when I would be able to go to Sugarcube Corner again without it making me uncomfortable and ill thanks to the perverse pegasus. At least Spike’s innocence had been preserved, if only because of his ignorance. Luckily, Cloud Kicker hadn’t taken the opportunity to embarrass me in front of Spike. Perhaps she had just run out of material to hit me with by that point?
Small favors, I suppose.
After getting myself cleaned up I had decided to attempt an interview that had been particularly tricky to get. I’d been looking forward to interviewing Cloud Kicker’s mother, Nimbus Gust for a while now. A career Guardpony, former noble, and married to the patriarch of the Kicker clan--what wasn’t interesting about her?
I checked my notes on my interviewee for the third time to make sure I remembered everything I needed to know. Like the fact she had given up her noble title in order to become a Kicker. Something that Kicker’s were very insistent upon because of the tradition set by Shadow Kicker, who had turned down becoming a noble nine hundred years ago.
On reflection, it wasn’t very surprising that Nimbus probably hadn’t had much trouble giving up her title of nobility. House Cumulus was not a rich family on a per family member basis as such things went in Equestria. While they had received a generous grant of land from the crown due to their loyalty, they had committed the classic blunder that had impoverished more than one noble family: they had a lot of kids.
There were reasons why the “heir and a spare” policy had been the standard among most unicorn noble families for millenium, including mine. You had a principal heir for your estates, and a spare in case something happened to the principal heir and serve as fodder for a marriage alliance. But House Cumulus had been a large family from the start, and had only gotten bigger. Thus their holdings had been divided and divided again to the point none of its members tended to inherit much, if anything. So at the end of the day, Nimbus probably hadn’t given up much other than a title when she married into the Kicker clan.
I looked up at the cloud-home where my would-be interview subject lived. It was a relatively plain, two-story affair. Some pegasi liked to spend almost inordinate amounts of their paychecks on their homes like Rainbow Dash, but many pegasi were happy spending their hard earned bits on other things than rainbow fountains, enchanted lawn ornaments, or other external decorations.
A quick cloud-walking spell and a teleport later, and I was standing by the front door of the home. I rang the doorbell to the cloud-home. Well, it’s more of a small thundercloud intended to create a rumbling sound to notify the residence that someone was at the door rather than an actual doorbell, but the result is effectively the same.
After waiting for a little bit, a filly with a vanilla coat and light purple mane opened the door. She looked up at me and cocked her head. “Hello?”
I addressed the filly confidently and with gentle authority. “Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle, I’m here on the part of the Royal Canterlot University. What’s your name?” I already had a good idea what her name was, but it pays to have good manners for introductions. At least that’s what the books on social interactions had told me.
The filly rubbed at one of her eyes and let out a tired little moan. “My name’s Alula Kicker. Mom says she don’t want anything you’re selling.”
This was getting off to a promising start. “No-no, I’m not here to sell anything, I was just wanting to talk to your mom. Is she here?” I gave Alula my best friendly smile. I really hoped to be able to interview Cloud Kicker’s mother. From what I had been able to find out, her father was out in Canterlot, and would be more difficult to get into contact with. I needed to interview at least one of her parents if I was going to make a complete report.
Alula gave me a long look before turning her head to the inside of her home. “Mom! Somepony wants to see you! She says she ain’t sellin’ anything!”
The front door opened wider and a mare well into her middle ages stepped into the opening. Her coat was a light yellow, almost cream color, and she had a close cropped brown mane typical of a Guard pony. She was very trim and carried commanding presence about her.
She looked down at her daughter and frowned at her. “Little Wing, you should be resting.”
“But Mom, I—,” Alula protest was cut short when Nimbus picked her up by the scruff of the neck and walked her over to a couch made out of clouds and gently placed her onto it.
“Now rest.” Nimbus made sure Alula was placed comfortably on the couch. “I want you to concentrate on getting better.”
Alula failed to suppressed a yawn and placed her head down on the couch. “Okay...”
Nimbus walked back over to the door and addressed me neutrally. “Yes? How can I help you?”
“Hi, I’m Twilight Sparkle, I was hoping to be able to interview you about a couple things.” I gave Nimbus the smile I gave Alula earlier.
Nimbus gave me a stoic look that didn’t give away anything about what she was thinking. “And what exactly do you want to interview me about?”
I recalled the sales pitch I had spent a couple hours thinking over, writing, and committing to memory. “Oh, I’m helping the Royal Canterlot University conduct a sociology project examining individual ponies across Equestria. Cloud Kicker was chosen as one of the subjects of this study, and I’m interviewing ponies close to her as part of my research.”
Nimbus continued to stand there as still as a statue, probably a reflex from working in the Guard. They kind of were expected to stand at attention, and perfectly still for long period of time depending on the post they were assigned to. Alula was looking back and forth between the two of us and let out a long yawn.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not interested,” Nimbus stated simply.
She started to close the door but I inserted my hoof in the doorway to keep it from closing. “Please, this is really important to me,” I pleaded. “ I’ve really been looking forward to conducting this interview. I’ll only need a little bit of your time, and then I’m out of your mane.”
Nimbus opened the door back up and stepped back enough to allow me inside. “Very well, if you promise to make this quick. I have to make dinner for Alula, so I don’t have all evening.”
I gave her an appreciative nod. “Thank you, this means a lot to me.”
I stepped through the threshold and into the living room of the home. Alula continued to lie on the couch and let out a low groan. Nimbus sat down next to a set of Guard armor. It was spread out on a rug, one that no doubt had been enchanted to sit on clouds.
Nimbus picked up her left shoulder guard and started to examine it closely. “So what is it you wanted to ask me about my daughter?”
I levitated my pencil and notebook out and flipped to the questions I had planned for Cloud Kicker’s mother. “First I would like to ask a couple questions about you,if you don’t mind.”
Nimbus started to rub at her shoulder guard, probably trying to remove some spot or blemish on it. “Go ahead, then.”
I decided to start off something basic to get the interview going. “Where did you meet your husband, Tornado Kicker?”
She kept concentrating on cleaning her armor as she answered me. “We met at West Hoof and started dating while we were both going to school, then got married soon after graduating. And to get what’s probably your next question, we had Cloud Kicker soon after we had settled into our first assignments.”
Short, concise, and to the point. I guess I should have expected as much from a member of the Kicker family. Even if she hadn’t been born into it. “Um, just to be clear, you used to be a member of House Cumulus, correct?”
“Right,” she stated simply.
I recalled lessons I had about the noble families of Equestria. “House Cumulus was formed during the Lunar Rebellion didn’t they?”
“That’s correct.” Nimbus rotated her armor in her hooves. “My old house was made up of the pegasi who remained loyal to Princess Celestia but didn’t want to be assimilated into the Kicker clan.”
I clapped my forehooves together, happy that I had finally gotten a full sentence out of Cloud Kicker’s mother. “And as a reward to their loyalty to Princess Celestia, the Cumulus were granted peerage status, and your family became a noble house.”
“Mm-hmm,” she said with bored detachment. I suppose I had gotten my hopes up over getting her to open up.
I resisted the temptation to chew my pencil. “If memory serves, being adopted or marrying into the Kicker clan requires you to give up any titles of nobility a pony may have. Was this the case with yourself?”
“Yes,” she said without elaborating once again. I guessed I was going to be careful how I worded my questions in order to get her to open up.
“Was that a difficult decision for you?” I asked.
“No.” I don’t think she had bothered to look up from her armor since the interview had started.
I forced my thoughts back onto the rails and onto deciding on my next question would be. After scribbling down a couple of notes, I asked my next question. “So what was it like raising Cloud Kicker?” Let’s see her be terse with an open ended question like that one...
Nimbus picked up her breastplate and started examining the straps that helped hold the armor in place. “Presumably much the same and raising any child.”
I resisted the urge to start pulling on my mane out of frustration. Before I could come up with a follow-up question, my ears perked when Alula moaned a little and rolled over to face the back of the cloud-couch. Nimbus walked over to her daughter.
“Is she alright?” I asked. Alula was far from being the stereotypical energetic young filly like, at least compared to the energy levels I was used to from the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The handful of times I had helped foalsit one or more of the fillies had run me ragged. Spike had not enjoyed their attempts at being Cutie Mark Crusaders Dragon Slayers.
Nimbus placed a hoof on Alula’s forehead. She walked behind the couch and pulled out a long and thin patch of clouds that she then placed over her daughter like a blanket. “She's been coming down with something—that's why I have her home with me today.”I didn’t miss the protective edge in her voice. Oops.
I nodded slowly. “Oh, okay.” That seemed reasonable enough. She had already raised one daughter to adulthood, so she would likely be the one to know about these types of things.
Nimbus placed a small cloud under her daughter’s head to make her more comfortable. “Are you feeling alright, Little Wing?”
Alula rubbed her head on her cloud-pillow. “Nuh-uh. ‘M hungry, an’ I’m tired.”
Nimbus gave her daughter a gentle nuzzle. “I’ll get you some soup.” She nodded to me and excused herself without a word. I watched her trot into her kitchen and kick a small, dark cloud built into the counter; the muted clap of thunder echoed as she pulled a small bowl out of her ice-cloud and worked it across the lightning bolts, the thunderforged steel quickly absorbing the heat.
After a moment, the liquid in the bowl was steaming and giving off a delicious scent of rosemary and salt, mingled with mixed vegetables. Nimbus removed it, kicked the thunderhead again, and brought the meal to her daughter. She draped her wing over Alula and worked to tie a small spoon to her hoof with a foreleg-brace commonly used by nonmagical ponies. I cleared my throat, and with a nod from her used my magic to secure the instrument in place for her. She picked up where we left off as though nothing had happened, feeding Alula her meal a few mouthfuls at a time.
“Now then: you were saying?”
It was heartwarming to see Nimbus take care of her daughter. While she was a bit cold and distant to me, I could tell from how she treated her daughter that she had a heart under that gruff exterior. Alula was in good hooves with her mom.
“So what was Cloud Kicker like as a child?” I asked, trying to get the interview back on track.
Nimbus ran a hoof through Alula’s mane to fix it a bit up before giving her another spoonful of soup. “Pretty much the same as every other child her age.”
These questions were not getting me any really useful information. For past research projects where I had interviewed ponies, parents had usually been more than happy to talk about raising their foal. Maybe that was just the traditional Kicker stoicism kicking in. Or maybe she was just irritated that I was taking time away from her sick daughter? That would explain why I was beginning to worry I was going to be frozen to death by her sunny disposition.
It also didn’t help that there were questions that I didn’t particularly want to bring up with Cloud Kicker’s mother, much less when her younger sister was right there in the same room. I had a feeling asking Nimbus ‘so how do you feel about your daughter failing to join the Guard,’ or ‘what are your opinions on Cloud Kicker becoming the most promiscuous pony in Ponyville’ were not going to ingratiate me with the mare. I decided to go with something a bit more vague and safer.
“So how would you describe your current relationship with Cloud Kicker?” I gave her a hopeful smile.
Nimbus carefully lifted a couple of crackers for her daughter to chew on. "She's my daughter. I love her, but she can very difficult at times."
I could agree with her on Cloud Kicker being frustrating. I tried not to think of the phallic pastries, so very hard. I swear, if Cloud Kicker somehow managed to ruin books for me ... I could just imagine her opening up one of my books and pulling out a bookmark, then smirking at me as she slowly slid that bookmark in and out between its soft, yielding pages—
Aaargh! Now she's got me doing it to myself! It's like she's determined to ruin everything forever!
I suppressed a frustrated groan. I was getting nowhere with this interview if I was going to be honest with myself. Between everything I couldn’t ask and Nimbus’ blunt and concise answer, I wasn’t getting much useful information for my research.
I closed my notebook and put its and my pencil back in my saddlebag. “Thank you for your time,” I said pleasantly. “I think I should get going. I really appreciate you allowing me to interview you.”
She looked up at me and nodded. “You’re welcome. Do you need help leaving, or are you fine showing yourself out?”
I stood up from the cushion and stretched my legs to get the feeling back in them. “I think I’ve got it handled. I hope Alula gets better soon.”
“She’ll be fine, I’m here to take care of her.” Nimbus leaned down and gave Alula a kiss on the forehead. Alula had closed her eyes, and by the look of it she had fallen asleep. I guessed now that the first need was taken care of, she was working on the second.
“Have a nice day.” I gave Nimbus a polite nod and excused myself from her home.
Well, that was it. I had done just about every interview I cared to do, done the research, made the preparations, and set a date. It seemed that the next step of my research was going to be ... interviewing Cloud Kicker. Ugh, there was no way this way going to turn out well.
“I don’t wanna do this anymore!” Sparkler complained, flopping down onto the floor in exhaustion. “I’m tired, and my head hurts.”
“Come on, you’ve pretty much got it down.” I nudged her on the shoulder. “I just want to make sure you aren’t going to have any trouble casting the spell back home.”
Sparkler let out an annoyed groan. “I can cast it just fine. You’re just torturing me now. Nopony I’ve learned a spell from has been this crazy about it.”
“Practice makes perfect.” I poked her again to encourage her to get up. “I just want to make sure you have it down.”
Granted, we’d been practicing for a while now. I had invited Sparkler to the upstairs of the library so we would have enough privacy to concentrate. She had wanted to get to learning that silence spell right after school. I couldn’t blame her, given her reasons. Very, very good reasons. I had similar reasons to learn it myself when I had been going to school. Dormitory walls had a distressing lack of sound insulation, and my neighbors tended to do things I would rather not hear.
Sparkler buried her face into the floor. “I think I got it.” She rubbed the back of her head. “I’m sure you managed to drill it into my skull.”
I frowned at her. “If you're absolutely sure.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Sparkler worked herself up into a sitting position. “I’ve cast the stupid spell a thousand times now.”
“Only forty-two,” I corrected. I had worried that Sparkler was just showing a typical teenage predisposition towards avoiding hard work, but one look at her told me she was exhausted. Sure, somepony her age might be able to fake shaking to try and get out of a trying assignment, but I’ve been around magic enough to recognize the dull ebb of light from her horn; it was the thaumaturgic equivalent of a dehydration headache—a warning sign to call it a day and recharge.Perhaps I had been a bit overzealous. When I’d previously exchanged spells with Rarity, she’d mentioned that my methods were a bit much for the average unicorn. Perhaps the way I had been taught at the School for Gifted Unicorns wasn’t the way to teach most unicorns spells?
Deciding that Sparkler had probably had enough for the day, I pulled one of my books off a shelf and levitated it over to my desk, then retrieved a sheet of paper a quill. “Here, I’ll copy the silence spell for you. Just review it every night before you cast it until you are sure you have it down perfectly.” I started copying the spell down with practiced precision.
There were a few ways for a unicorn to learn spells. Unicorns almost universally possessed a few innate spells, like telekinesis and lighting up one’s horn, or those inspired by their special talent. Most ponies naturally developed some spells either upon earning their cutie mark and the discovery of their special talent, or later in life having moments of epiphany to develop new spells for themselves. Those spells are generally called a pony’s “natural spells.”
Unicorns that wished to learn additional spells—and most do—have to put in additional effort. A unicorn has to either observe another unicorn cast the spell they wished to learn or study a written copy of the spell. After spending sufficient time studying a spell, a unicorn then had to practice casting it until they can replicate it accurately. It should also be noted that it’s generally relatively simple to learn a spell associated with one’s natural talent, while those antithetical to one’s special talent can be much harder.
It’s easiest and fastest to learn a spell when watching it being cast by another unicorn. That was the reason why Sparkler asked me to help her learn the silence spell in the first place, rather than just looking it up in a book. When I showed her the spell, it enabled her to study how I cast it, feel how the magical energies flow and move. Looking at a spell on a piece of paper doesn’t have the life that seeing a spell cast does. It’s a bit hard to explain to a non-unicorn. Imagine trying to figure out how to build a train with just the blueprint, but you’re not just trying to build the train: you’re trying to build the full experience of a train, but without ever having seen a train, without ever having rode one, without ever having left the station, without ever having arrived at a destination, without ever having felt the rustle of the cart as it moves along the tracks, without ever having seen the coal being shoveled into a hot engine—without ever having experience what a train is like. You could convey all that in a spell book to a certain point, but it required a significantly more studying and practice to actually learn the spell.
Sparkler picked herself off the floor with a grunt and walked over to me. “Thanks. All this help really means a lot to me.”
I finished copying the spell and reviewed my work to make sure everything was perfect. Spells had to be copied perfectly, or at best the spell wouldn’t do anything but waste the unicorn’s thaumaturgic energies. At worst... At worst you have things like parasprites being enchanted to gobble up an entire town. I shook my head to dispel the unpleasant memory. “Don’t worry about it. I’m always happy to help.”
“I’m serious.” She leaned her head in to whisper to me in a conspiratorial tone. “I don’t wanna hear the... things going on in Mom’s bedroom when Cloud Kicker’s around. And I don’t wanna explain any of it to Dinky.”
I winced at that last bit; I had nearly forgotten about her little sister in all this. “I don’t blame you at all for wanting to learn this spell.” I gave her a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, this spell should be exactly what you need. No hearing... thatgoing on.”
Sparkler rolled her head around, sharply popping her neck. “Yeah. I just wish the silence spell didn’t take so much out of me. Keeping it up all night isn’t easy. Gonna be even worse to keep two of them up unless I want to have Dinks sleep in my room. I love her to death, but I don’t want her in my bed every night.”
“I understand.” I rubbed my chin as I thought over something that had been bothering me since I had started teaching Sparkler that day. “There is something you can do in order feel less exhausted casting spells.”
Sparkler ears perked up. “Oh?”
I nodded at her. “Yeah, I noticed earlier that you were using a lot more energy than you really need to when spellcasting.”
She looked down at the floor and started rubbing at one of her forelegs. “Oh yeah?”
“Yep, you seem to have a good deal more power than the average unicorn.” I walked over to one of my drawers and started to shift through its contents. It looked like Spike had been going through my various magical knickknacks and enchanted items, because things looked considerably less organized than they should have been.
Sparkler trotted up to stand next to me and looked into the drawer. “Oh, if you say so.”
“I know so,” I said, lifting up and examining one enchanted gem after another as I tried to find the right one. I really needed to remind Spike of the necessity of keeping with my filing system. “I could feel the amount of energy you were pumping out when you were practicing that spell. Given how much extra energy you were putting into the silence spell, I’m going to guess you haven’t had a teacher who had enough raw power to actually need to hold back when using magic.”
“Um, no, not really,” she said with a hint of reluctance. “The foster care system wasn’t really set up to teach spellcasting. I got the basics, but not a lot else.”
That caught my attention and I turned to face her. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
Sparkler shrugged. “S’okay. I’ve been trying to catch up on my own. Not a whole lot of other unicorns to learn from around Ponyville, but I’m getting along.”
I thought about that for a second and decided on a course of action. I hated hearing that a unicorn with the talent I believed Sparkler to have wasn’t getting all the support she needed. Especially when she did seem to want to improve herself. I could definitely empathize with that.
“Ah! Here it is!” I spotted what I was looking for: a clear, round gemstone the size of an orange. I grasped it with my telekinesis, causing it to faintly glow green, and held it in front of Sparkler. “Here you go.”
Sparkler narrowed her eyes at the gem. “What is it?”
“It’s a thaumaturgically-sensitive monitoring gem.” Sparkler frowned at me. By the looks of it, it seemed she had never seen one before. It looked like I was going to have to do a bit of a lecture. “It tracks the excess magical energies you put into your telekinesis spells. I used it all the time when I was a filly and trying to get my magic under control.”
Sparkler made a circling motion with her hoof. “And that is supposed to help me...?”
I smiled patiently at her. I needed to remind myself that not everypony had access to the best education Equestria had to offer. “As I said, your biggest problem with your spellcasting right now is that you’re wasting too much magic using your spells. This,” I gave the gem a slight shake, “will show you exactly how much you’re wasting.”
After taking a step closer, Sparkler leaned her head in to get a better view of the gem. “How does it work?”
“It’s real simple. Just hold it with your telekinesis, and it will show you how much excess energy you’re putting out with your casting.” I started to put more energy than was needed to hold onto the gem, and it quickly shifted from a dim green to a vibrant red. “See? Simple. The more magic you waste, the hotter the color it glows.”
Sparkler reached out with her own telekinesis, and I let her grasp the enchanted gem in her magenta magical aura. The gem immediately took on a bright orange. “But how will this help me with my other spells? This only helps with telekinesis, doesn’t it?”
I watched as Sparkler concentrated, and the gem started to cool down to a yellow. “It’s a training tool to make you conscious about your thaumaturgic excesses. Once you become aware of what it feels like to use the right amount of magic for telekinesis, it starts to become second nature for your other spells.”
“Um, thanks, but I can’t really accept this.” She pushed the gem back my way. “You’re really cool and all, but I don’t want to be taking advantage of you.”
I waved a hoof at her. “Don’t worry about it. They aren’t that expensive, and I don’t really need it anyways. If I really need another one, I can always get it from Rarity. Give me a couple of hours and I could have it enchanted and ready to go. But you need the practice.”
Sparkler levitated the gem closer to herself and looked at it with a frown. “That’s ... really nice of you.”
I smiled and nodded at Sparkler. “You’re welcome. Now let’s pull out some reading for you while we’re at it.” I walked over to one of my bookshelves and started to pull down some select reading. “I still have some reading materials from when I was in school that should be perfect for you.”
“Wait, books too?” Sparkler walked over to the table. Her eyes widened when she checked over one of the titles. “These are high-level textbooks! How much do they even cost!?”
I pulled out the last of the books I thought Sparkler would need and turned to face her. “I’m just loaning them to you.” I gave her a wry grin. “This is a library after all. Besides, I haven’t really looked at them in years. But they should do you a world of good.”
Sparkler bit her lower lip as she looked at the stack of books. “Well, if you say its okay, then I guess it’s alright.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy to help.” I lifted up Sparkler’s saddlebags and started to shove my suggested reading materials into them. I really didn’t want her to turn down my help; education was vital for a unicorn her age. It took a bit of doing to get my books into her bag given they were still filled with her school supplies. “And don’t be shy about asking for additional help with anything,” I levitated her saddlebags over to her.
“Um, sure.” Sparkler took the saddlebags and tied them around herself. “I also wanted to thank you for helping Dinky. She’s really looking forward to learning from you—normally you have to give her sugar to make her bounce off the walls as much as she has been. It’s also doing a lot for Mom, so...”
“You’re all welcome,” I said.
Sparkler shuffled in place as her saddlebags settled more comfortably. “Yeah, uh, it didn’t feel quite right teaching Dinks myself. Just didn’t think I was getting it all, y’know?”
I thought for a moment on how best to reply to that. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings over something that wasn’t her fault. “Don’t worry about it. No offense, but you’re a bit young to be teaching a unicorn her age how to use her magic. It’s just something that should be handled by a unicorn who has more experience.”
“Oh, okay.” Sparkler’s ears flattened and she looked away from me. “I guess that makes sense.”
I had kind of worried that I had stepped on Sparkler’s hooves by taking over the teaching of her sister, so I put a comforting hoof along her shoulders. “Hey, don’t get down on yourself. Dinky will be fine, and someday you’ll be able to teach others.”
Sparkler looked down at the floor and scrapped at it with her hoof. “Yeah, it’s just ... we’re getting so much from you, but we’re not giving you anything in return. I don’t exactly have many bits to give you for the lesson, the gem, the books... And I don’t know what Mom is pulling together for Dinks’ lessons.”
I shook my head. “Bits aren’t a problem for me. I’m just happy to help.” I let out a short, friendly laugh. “Really, you’re worrying way too much. We don’t always need to get a reward in order to help others.”
She smiled at me. “Thanks, this’s pretty cool of you.”
I looked over her saddlebags to make sure they weren’t going to pop open from the extra materials I had put in them. “So, you think you’re good to go now?”
“I think we’ve done enough damage for one day,” Sparkler said with a grunt. She shifted her bags around a bit and took a few experimental steps with her bags weighed her down. Some of those books were quite heavy now that I thought about it, and Sparkler didn’t exactly look like a weightlifter. Meh, I’m sure she would be fine. I hefted around worse during my college days.
I gave Sparkler a final, affirming nod. “Alright then, if you want to check out any other books on the way out—”
“I’m-good-thanks!” Sparkler blurted out, the effort almost causing her knees to buckle.
“Well, if you’re sure,” I said. I was going to suggest we might be able to fit in another paperback or two somewhere.
“I am,” she said more firmly. “Besides, I should probably head home. Won’t be too long before dinner.” She maneuvered herself towards the stairs leading down to the ground level of the library.
“Sounds good.” I followed Sparkler as she tentatively made her way down the stairs of the library. “I wanted to freshen up a bit before heading out to see Fluttershy later this evening anyways, so the timing of this works out just fine.”
Sparkler carefully put one hoof in front of the other on the stairs. It wouldn’t be surprising if she was worried about falling end over end given how her weight was currently distributed. “So you two are dating?”
That nearly caused me to trip and fall down the stairs—which would have been quite bad considering I likely would have tumbled right into Sparkler. The both of us falling down the stairs would have been unpleasant to say the least. “What? No, it’s nothing like that. We’re just friends who are just going to spend some time having company with one another.”
“Uh-huh,” Sparkler grunted out as she descended the last few steps. “So with that hot, fashion model body, you’ve never considered asking her out?”
“She’s my friend,” I said with a bit of a growl. “I don’t think of my friends that way. Why do other ponies keep suggesting I might be interested in my friends?”
I swear, it seemed like sex was all teenagers thought about. Maybe that was Cloud Kicker’s issue? Perhaps she just never got out of a teenager mindset? Well if she had a certain imbalance in brain chemistry then...
Sparkler narrowed her eyes at me and frowned. “Riiight... So you weren’t planning on putting on a little extra makeup for her?”
I rolled my eyes at that. So what if I was? “I always put on a little makeup whenever I see my friends. Trust me, you have to put at least some efforts into your looks when you have a friend like Rarity. Otherwise you never hear the end of it.” Not that it was any of her business how much makeup I used anyways.
Sparkler pushed her saddlebags a bit where they had shifted up her back from the descent down the stairs. “If that’s the story you wanna go with.”
I decided that it was best just to move away from this pointless topic, and walked over to open the front door for her. “Can you just make sure to remind your mother of Dinky’s first lesson? I almost have the syllabus for her lessons done, and I want to make sure we have plenty of time to go over it before getting started.”
Sparkler started making her way out the door. “I’ll let Mom know when I get home.” She turned around to face me once she crossed the threshold. “And thanks for all the help, again. It’s nice to know I’ll be able to sleep if Cloud Kicker stays over again.”
I considered commenting about how she probably wouldn’t have to worry about Cloud Kicker for much longer, given her usual habits, but that didn’t seem like a very tactful way to approach things with a young mare like Sparkler. Instead, I went with something slightly more tactful. “I’m sure it will work out in the end.”
Sparkler shrugged. “S’okay. She seems to make Mom happy, so whatever. Just as long as I don’t have to listen to it. But anyways, I really need to go. Bye, Twilight.”
I gave her a friendly wave as she turned to leave. “Have a nice evening, and don’t be afraid to stop by if you need anything else.” With our business complete, I closed the door and locked the library up for the day. That done, I trotted over to the kitchen and saw Spike busily stirring cookie batter.
I gave Spike a quick nuzzle. “Hi, Spike. You making some cookies?”
Spike gave me a wide smile and he kept stirring without skipping a beat. “Yup, cooking up a batch for tonight. You done with Sparkler?”
I started walking around the kitchen, considering what I could take with me to Fluttershy’s to eat. “Yeah, she just left.”
“So what were you planning on doing this evening?” Spike dipped his finger into his cookie mix and licked it clean.
That question caused me to freeze for a moment. I hadn’t considered Spike when I had arranged this friendly get-together with Fluttershy. And with me trying to patch things up with Spike, I didn’t want to hurt his feelings all over again by leaving him all alone for another night so soon without very good reasons. But on the other hoof, I hadn’t mentioned anything about Spike to Fluttershy when we last met, and I didn’t want to be rude by suddenly inviting somepony—somedragon over.
After thinking it over for a few seconds, I decided on a course of action. “I was planning on heading over to Fluttershy’s in a bit. Did you want to come?” Bringing Spike along struck me as the wisest course of action at the moment given I was trying to patch our relationship back up. Besides, Fluttershy liked Spike, and she would understand after I explained the situation.
He looked up at me and smiled. “Sure. Want me to bring my cookies? They should be done in a bit once I put them in the oven.”
I gave Spike an encouraging smile. “Sounds good. I’m sure Fluttershy would love to have some. I was also thinking about making a salad or something real quick so that we would have something else to bring. Hopefully nothing too complex given I have a couple things I need to do before we head out.”
“How about I fix something up while you get ready?” Spike opened up our icebox and pulled out a head of lettuce. “I put the envelope from Derbyshire on your desk upstairs for ya.”
“Thanks for reminding me, Spike.” I had nearly forgotten about that during all the craziness recently. I really prefered to take care of that type of business right away. “You sure you’re okay down here? I don’t want to feel like I’m dumping everything on you.”
“Nah, it’s cool. I like cooking.” He picked up a banana and started to peel it. “Lets me snack on all the ingredients.” Spike started sucking and enjoying the banana a lot more then I felt comfortable with anymore thanks to Cloud Kicker. I had become aware of just how much phallic imagery there was around me.
I tried to put those less savory thoughts aside. “Thanks for taking care of that. I’m sure Fluttershy will like whatever you make. Just make sure it will be easy to carry all the way out to her cottage.”
The talk of Fluttershy reminded me of my last conversation with her. I looked out the window leading to the backyard of the library and suppressed shuddering about what was back there now. “Oh, by the way, Spike—you aren't allowed to go play in the backyard for a few months.”
Spike cocked an eyebrow at me. “Why not?”
I stepped closer and spoke quietly to Spike. It was perhaps a bit silly. It’s not like they could hear us. Probably. “Because there are snakes back there now. Fluttershy just moved them in the other day.”
“Uh-huh.” Spike narrowed his eyes at me. “And that’s a big deal, why?”
“They’re snakes, Spike.” Did I really have to outline this for him? “I don’t want you getting bitten or hurt by them.”
“Um, Twilight, did you forget I have these babies?” Spike tapped his forearm. “Dragon scales are kinda tough you know. They’d probably just break their fangs on me.” He rubbed his chin. “Is this about you being scared of snakes?”
I stuck my nose up. “I’m not scared of snakes. I’m just ... cautious. I don’t want you getting hurt. Besides, snakes are creepy. They eat meat.”
Spike crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And did you forget that I can eat meat? Besides, Owlowiscious isn’t exactly a vegetarian.”
That much was true. Owlowiscious was a carnivore by nature. I guess I just never really thought about it considering he did his hunting away from the library at night. And Spike was an omnivore in every sense of the term, he got nutritional benefits from rocks of all things. Not to mention he could eat things that were blatantly poisonous to ponies, like the infamous “baked bads.” It was kind of surprising how good of a cook he was given what he considered to taste good. But still...
I shuffled in place at the uncomfortable topic. “Yeah, well, they’re still creepy. They have those slimy scales.” Spike tapped on his forearm again. “Okay, so your scales aren't slimy. But snakes still have those forked tongues.” Spike scowled andstuck his also-forked tongue out at me. Okay, now he was just screwing with me. “You’re not like a snake,” I snapped. “You’re completely different. You’re warm-blooded, for starters.”
“Nice to know that’s the first thing you can think of that makes me different from some snake,” he said sourly. “Is this like that thing where Fluttershy is afraid of only adult dragons, but not me?”
I groaned. Even I could tell that this conversation was not going in a good direction. “Okay, so I don’t like snakes. You happy?”
Spike shrugged at my admission. “So you’re afraid of snakes. Lots of ponies have an irrational fear of snakes.”
“It is not irrational!” I said more loudly than I had intended. “It’s perfectly rational. Because, they’re—um... I have good reasons! Look, just don’t go to the backyard until Fluttershy moves the snakes. Please, it would make me feel better.”
“Okay,” Spike said with all the conviction of a child only half listening to his parent’s warnings. He went back to pulling out some tomatoes and carrots for the salad.
I decided to just change topics. This one wasn’t particularly productive. There was something else I had wanted to go over with him.
“So ... I just wanted to tell you what I’ve been up to lately.” I stepped up to stand next to Spike as he started chopping up the vegetables. I moved them around into an order that would be most efficient for him to cut up and put into the salad for him.
“Oh?” He stopped chopping vegetables to direct his attention towards me.
I considered my words carefully as I tried to explain my task properly. “You see, I was given a research project by Princess Luna a little while ago. She wanted me to research Cloud Kicker for a sociology project.”
“And the reason why you haven’t told me is...” he said tersely. It didn’t really surprise me if he was still a bit sore on this topic. Usually he was right in the thick of any research project I happened to be doing. Even if he didn’t always understand everything I was studying, he was usually helping in some way.
I chewed on my lower lip as I considered my words carefully. “There were ... some subjects that were going to be covered during my research that I didn’t want to expose you to.”
Spike raised his eyebrows at that. “Like what?”
Oh boy, this conversation had more traps in it than a dungeon in a Daring Do novel. I really didn’t want to get into the whole ‘sex’ talk with Spike right at this moment, but I also needed to tell him something that would placate him. I owed him that much, at least.
I rubbed my foreleg as tried to explain things to Spike. “It’s just that there are some adult topics that might come up that I don’t really want you to have to listen to yet. My interview with Cloud Kicker is going to have to be very thorough, and chances are good it’ll cover some things that would make me uncomfortable for you to hear.”
Spike puffed out his chest and gave me a confident smile. “Aw, come on. I can take it.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at Spike’s bravado, and I rubbed him on the top of the head. “Maybe, but you’re still a baby dragon. There’s still plenty of time for you to learn about the things I’m going to go over with Cloud Kicker.” I looked Spike in the eyes and made sure he was paying attention to me. “Don’t worry, I’m going to interview Cloud Kicker this weekend. Then I plan on finishing up my report to the Princess the following week, and then things will be back to normal.”
At least that was my sincerest hope. I certainly aimed to make it work that way. We would have to see if Cloud Kicker would cooperate or not.
The air slowly deflated from Spike’s chest. “If you say so. You know you can just ask me if you want help with anything you need, right?”
I gave him an encouraging nuzzle. “Yeah, I know. You’re my number one assistant after all. This is just a bit of a rough patch, but we’ll get through it before you know it.” I decided to try and give Spike something he could help with. Being helpful did seem to make him happy. “How about you work on getting everything ready for Fluttershy’s, and I’ll take care of what I need to upstairs? Think you can handle that?”
Spike turned around to get back to chopping vegetables. “Sure thing! I’ll have this ready in a jiffy.”
I doubted Spike would be able to finish that salad in a fiftieth of a second. While I was tempted to correct Spike on this time measuring mistake, I decided it could wait until after I got ready to go. There was the walk to Fluttershy’s cabin to lecture Spike on what a jiffy really meant.
With that dealt with, I headed upstairs to freshen up and take care of some other business before we headed out. I walked over to my work desk and found the envelope exactly where Spike said it would be. Pulling out the series of papers and forms that made up its contents and placed them at the center of my desk, I then retrieved my signet ring and wax from my desk. Just a matter of reviewing everything from Derbyshire, marking everything aye or nay, and then sealing it up to mail back. Just like it had been every month since I had reached the age of maturity. Simple.
As simple as I hoped my interview with Cloud Kicker would be. Just had to get through this one weekend, and then I could get back to my normal, happy, Cloud Kicker-less life.
***
I got through my paperwork for Derbyshire pretty quickly considering it was a fairly light season for such things, not like the much dreaded tax season. I took a few minutes to make myself more presentable after a long day. After that I let Spike climb onto my back while he carried the dishes, and we walked off to Fluttershy’s cottage. Well, I did all the walking, but anyways...
We arrived at Fluttershy’s right as the sun was setting. I knocked on Fluttershy’s front door, and she opened the door a crack. She gave us a welcoming smile. “Hi, Twilight. How are you doing?” Fluttershy opened the door wider to allow me to enter.
“As well as could be expected,” I said with only a hint of irritation. It had been a long day with Cloud Kicker showing up at the library, my non-interview with Nimbus Kicker, and everything else that had occurred.
I turned so that Fluttershy could more easily see Spike. “I hope you don’t mind that I brought Spike along. I didn’t want to leave him home on his own tonight.”
“Hi, Fluttershy.” Spike held up the dishes for Fluttershy to see. “I made us some cookies and salad to eat.”
Fluttershy stepped up to give Spike a nuzzle. “I don’t mind at all. Spike is always welcome at my home.”
Spike pulled the dishes closer to his chest to keep from dropping them. “Cool, I’ve been hoping to get out of the library today anyways.”
I felt a twinge of relief that Fluttershy hadn’t been offended by me bringing Spike along. I figured it wouldn’t be a problem, but guessing is a bit different than knowing. With that taken care of, I stepped into Fluttershy’s cottage. I couldn’t help but bask in the aroma of cooking vegetables on the stove. “That smells really good. Were you already cooking something?”
Fluttershy trotted towards her kitchen. “I was just cooking some vegetable soup considering I knew you were coming over. I figured you might be hungry after walking all the way from Ponyville, and I didn’t want to be a bad host.”
“I couldn’t imagine you being a bad host, Fluttershy.” I walked after Fluttershy into the kitchen. “Where would you like for us to put the salad and cookies?”
“If you put them on the dinner table, that would be wonderful.” Fluttershy picked up a ladle and tasted the soup she had on her wood-burning stove. She licked her lips and gave a satisfied nod. “I think the soup’s ready now. So if you two want, we can eat now.”
“Sounds good to me,” Spike happily chirped.
“Let’s head over the dining room then.” I grabbed the soup with my telekinesis. I figured it would be a bit easier for me to carry than Fluttershy. “I can get that if you like.”
“If you don’t mind.” Fluttershy opened one of her kitchen drawers and pulled out a couple of hotpads. Spike and I then followed Fluttershy to her dining room and proceeded set the table and sit down.
Spike reached out to get himself some salad when a white blur came flying into view and slammed into the side of Spike’s head. “Ow, what was that!?” Spike looked down where the white blur had landed and saw Angel Bunny. He was glaring up at Spike, tapping his foot vigorously. Spike eyes narrowed in his own glare. “Angel,” he grumbled.
Fluttershy’s eyes widened at the sudden display of violence. “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s just that you’re sitting in Angel’s spot.” She turned a disappointed frown at Angel. “But that’s no excuse for attacking a guest like that, Angel. We gently ask our guest to please move if we want a specific seat, not kick them in the head.”
Angel’s response was to look away from Fluttershy and stick his nose up in the air.
“Stupid rabbit.” Spike rubbed the side of his head. I doubted he was seriously hurt. Dragons, even baby ones, were pretty tough. The first couple times he'd misbehaved, my efforts to punish him ended up not being terribly effective. You've got to smack him pretty hard for him to actually feel it through all those scales, but early on I'd been very worried about hitting him too hard and hurting him. I have since gotten a pretty good measure of how hard he needed to be hit to actually feel it. “Well I don’t see why I need to move if he’s going to be a big, dumb jerk about it.” Spike’s stubbornness garnered a rather impressive death glare for a rabbit. I seriously didn’t understand why Angel and Spike didn’t get along. Its like they were archnemeses in a play or something.
Fluttershy stood up and walked over to Angel. “Come on, Angel, could you just apologize to Spike and ask for your seat? I’m sure Spike would move if you asked nicely.”
Angel just looked away from Fluttershy and crossed his forelegs over his chest.
Part of me wanted to just lean over and ask Spike to move over to get this big fight over with, but that was likely just to cause an even bigger fight by dragging myself into the middle of it. Besides, Angel was in the wrong here, and I didn’t want to undermine Fluttershy’s somewhat soft attempts at disciplining her pet.
Fluttershy bit her lower lip and looked around as though unsure of herself. But after a minute, she put on a determined scowl. “Alright, Angel, if you don’t apologize right now, then... you can go to bed without dinner.”
Angel’s jaw dropped as though he had just been slapped. Given how much slack I had seen Fluttershy give him in the past, this was probably a pretty severe punishment for her.
“Well... Are you going to apologize now?” asked Fluttershy with determination.
Angel closed his jaw and he gave Fluttershy a steely stare. After a minute of trying to face down his owner, he let out an annoyed huff and started to hop away from the dining room. I guessed his pride meant more than dinner.
Fluttershy let out a long, depressed sigh. “I’m sorry about that. Angel normally doesn’t misbehave this badly.”
I had a little bit of trouble believing that. Every time I had seen the two of them together, it seemed like Angel was heaping one abuse or another onto Fluttershy.
“You mean he’s usually worse?” Spike snarked. I fixed him with a leer that told him to watch what he was saying. He looked down at the dinner table. “Can we just eat already?” he said gloomily.
Fluttershy walked back over to her place at the table and sat down. She let out a long breath. “Yes, we don’t want the soup to get cold.” I guess she just wanted to put that whole incident behind her.
“That sounds nice.” I poured everyone a bowl of soup to help get things moving along. After all the stress I had built up over the last week I wanted at least one nice, relaxing night. “So how have you been, Fluttershy?”
Fluttershy looked up from the plate she was filling with salad. “Oh, it’s been nice. Just been doing my usual work of helping the animals in the area. It’s been nice and quiet.”
“Good to hear.” I took a sip of my soup, and I saw Spike start to reach for the cookie. I fixed him with another disapproving stare and he withdrew his claw without having procured any cookies. It was a bit early in the meal to start on the sweets.
“How about yourself?” Fluttershy asked. “You’re almost always busy doing something.”
“I’ve been working on a research project,” I said reflexively. I immediately regretted it. My research project was not something I really wanted to get into with Fluttershy for a number of reasons.
Fluttershy’s ears perked as she ate a spoonful of her soup. “About what?”
Now I was knee-deep in it. Maybe I could get away with being a bit vague. “Um, it’s a sociological study about individual ponies from different walks of life across Equestria.”
“Oh really, are you studying a lot of ponies around town?” Fluttershy probed.
“Nah, she’s just doing research on Cloud Kicker.” Spike popped a mouthful of salad into his mouth and then pointed his fork my way. “Twilight’s going to interview her this weekend.”
Thanks for putting that right out there, Spike. I suppose I shouldn’t be angry with him. He didn’t know about my ... issues with Cloud Kicker.
Fluttershy looked down at her plate, pushing around her salad without trying to eat any. “I see.”
I decided to go for some damage control given Spike had gone ahead and blurted out Cloud Kicker’s name. “I don’t want to make a big deal of this project. Frankly, dealing with Cloud Kicker is driving me crazy. I’m going to be happy to be done with the whole thing and never talk to her again.”
“Okay,” Fluttershy said softly. She was kept looking down at the dinner table.
One of Spike’s eyebrows raised. “What’s the big deal with Cloud Kicker, anyway?”
“She’s—um...” I struggled to think of the best way to put things to Spike. “We don’t really get along is all.”
Spike scratched the side of his head. “Really? You two seemed to be doing alright back at the library.”
“It’s complicated.” Trying to steer this conversation away from the topic of Cloud Kicker, I slid the plate of cookies towards Spike. “Here, how about you have a couple of the cookies you baked, Spike?” I gave Spike my best smile to encourage him to take a cookie and hopefully drop the conversation. “They sure do look good.”
“Okay,” Spike happily chirped. He grabbed a cookie and merrily chomped down on it. “You two should try one too.”
I jabbed into another clump of my salad with my fork. “I’ll try one once I’m done with my salad.” Some of us had to watch our weight.
I looked at Fluttershy and saw that she was just staring down at her plate and playing with her food. “Is everything alright?” I asked her, a hint of concern finding its way into my tone.
Fluttershy snapped out of her stupor with a slight jerk. “I’m sorry. I was just ... thinking.” She shook her head. Whether to shake her head out or to say no to me I wasn’t quite sure. “I’m fine, it’s just I remembered a couple things. Don’t worry about it.”
I couldn’t help but frown at my friend. “Is this because I brought up Cloud Kicker? If you want to talk about it we—”
“Could we please not talk about Cloud Kicker?” I was surprised, Fluttershy had actually interrupted me. I couldn’t remember the last time Fluttershy had ever interrupted anypony in a conversation, if ever. I could only imagine that Cloud Kicker had done something to make Fluttershy terribly uncomfortable. Given how bad Cloud Kicker was around me, and how uncomfortable Fluttershy was around other ponies, I could see why Cloud Kicker could make Fluttershy uncomfortable. Perhaps it was also related with Fluttershy’s time at Flight Camp? Rainbow Dash had said that she had a rough time in general.
My academic reflexes kicked in and I wanted to press a bit further and find out more about how Fluttershy knew Cloud Kicker, but the part of my brain that warned me not to hurt my sensitive friend told me to rein that thought in. Then I remembered the promise I had made to Rainbow Dash earlier about not interviewing Fluttershy about Cloud Kicker. Technically this wasn’t an interview, if I wanted to nitpick about the details of my promise to Dash, but I could tell based on how stiff and nervous Fluttershy was acting that this was a bad topic for her. I was already feeling bad just bringing Cloud Kicker up in a casual conversation. I decided it would be best to drop the topic.
I flailed around for something else to talk about. “So, um, I guess you put all those snakes behind the library?” Far from the best topic I could get into, but probably better than the old one.
The gloomy miasma that had been clinging to Fluttershy seemed to suddenly dissipated at the mention of her favorite topic: animals. She gave me a bright, cheerful smile. “Yes, the darlings are all settled in now. I think they are really going to enjoy their new homes.”
I tried to smile without too much strain. This was about making Fluttershy happy at this point. “Oh... that’s good. As long as they stay out of the library.” I lowered my head to whisper to Fluttershy. “They are staying out of the library, right?”
“Of course,” Fluttershy assured me. “I told them to respect your privacy.”
“That should be fine.” I let myself relax a little bit. At least my home would be safe from the slithering little monsters.
Spike wolfed down another cookie and then started talking with his mouth full. “Yeah, Twilight doesn’t want them to get into the library because she has snakeophobia.” Thanks, Spike, that’s what I really needed you to say just now.
Fluttershy covered her mouth with her hoof. “Oh dear. Are you really afraid of snakes, Twilight?”
I pulled the plate of cookies away from Spike. I decided he had enough for now. This didn’t have anything to do with how I was unhappy with him. “I’m not afraid of snakes. It’s just that I ... have a healthy respect for them.” I fixed Spike with a glare intended to show my disapproval of him. “And it’s called ophidiophobia, not snakeopohobia, Spike.”
“Tomato-tamata,” Spike said with derision. “Still doesn’t change the fact that you don’t like snakes.”
Fluttershy’s body stiffened and she bit her lower lip. I couldn’t imagine anything going through her head at the moment was good. She might even think I had lied to her about the snakes being put behind the library being alright. “No, really, snakes are fine. They fill an important niche in the local ecology.” I tried to give Fluttershy my best smile. Maybe if I smiled hard enough I could even convince myself that I could tolerate the existence of snakes. Spike’s response was to roll his eyes and start to slurp on his bowl of soup.
“That’s good,” said Fluttershy, letting out a sigh of relief. “I was worried there for a moment you would have a problem with all those snakes near the library.”
“I-I don’t.” I stuttered out. It looked like I had already crossed the bridge where the snakes were concerned. Telling Fluttershy I had a problem with them would likely only upset her, and I had done enough of that to my friend already. “Don’t worry about it.”
“We can talk about it if you want to,” Fluttershy said with assurance. “Sometimes talking about your fears helps. And I can assure you that there isn’t any reason to be scared of snakes.”
“Really, it’s fine.” I let out a chuckle I hoped didn’t sound too nervous. “We don’t need to make a big deal out of this.”
Fluttershy frowned at me. “If you say so. But you know you can talk to me if you’re having any sort of animal trouble.”
Oh, I would have a few words with Fluttershy if those snakes found a way into the library. “Yes, but how about we find something else to talk about?”
“Um, okay.” Fluttershy took a long sip of her soup. “So, have you been up to anything else recently?”
I tried to think of something interesting to bring up but I drew a blank. “Um, no, not really. How about yourself?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I can’t really think of anything. I’ve just been doing my usual things as of late. What have you been doing lately, Spike?”
Spike shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, stuff.”
“Like what?” Fluttershy prodded.
“The usual.” Spike twirled his fork in the air. “Cleaning the library, checking books out, checking in books, cooking, reading comics. You know, stuff.”
“That sounds nice,” Fluttershy said. “Anything interesting happen this week?”
“Meh, not really.” Spike let out a yawn and prodded at his salad to pick up another bite.
“He’s been doing good with his education,” I cut in with my attempt to keep the conversation going. “I’m really happy with his progress in science, reading, and writing.”
“That’s good to hear.” Fluttershy stood up from the table and walked over to a nearby dresser where she kept her fine dishes. She opened the drawer and picked up an egg sized sapphire with her wing. “How about you get a treat for being a good baby dragon? If that’s okay with Twilight that is.”
Spike licked his lips and he looked up at me hopefully. He had gotten quite a few cookies earlier, but I didn’t want to be the bad mare here. Plus he had put a lot of work into cleaning the basement. Even if what happened was largely his fault. I gave him a pat on the head. “Sure, he can have one gem for dinner. But that’s enough treats for one night.”
“Great, thanks Fluttershy.” Spike smiled like, well, a child who was getting a sweet. He pulled the gem out from under Fluttershy’s wing and started sucking on it. I have no idea what gems could even taste like that makes Spike like them so much. I really needed to ask him about that someday.
“So I guess that’s all the new business we have to talk about then?” I asked.
Fluttershy sat back down and shuffled a bit to make herself comfortable. “I believe so.”
Silence reigned as we ate. I tried to think of some sort of conversation point to talk about, but I kept drawing blanks. Each of us tried to start up a conversation, but they seemed to keep getting cut short. I had just about forgotten how Fluttershy and I sometimes had some trouble maintaining a conversation with each other. All my other friends were usually more talkative: Rarity could go on for hours about her business, town gossip, and other little topics. Applejack had a ready supply of family anecdotes to fill the time. Rainbow Dash was always willing to talk about her lastest stunts and about one sport or another that held her interest, and more often than not Pinkie seemed to like to talk for the sake of talking.
But with Fluttershy it was much harder to keep up a conversation. Sometimes we could get going with a good conversation, but this didn’t seem like one of those times. Maybe I was just more tired then I realized? Spike certainly looked like he was at the end of his rope considering he was nodding off after eating his gem. He did have a long day, now that I thought about it.
“So, um, I guess the weather was nice today,” I said, grasping at that old conversational backup that everypony seemed to use. My fork had been put down, considering I had finished eating for awhile now.
“Yes, it was pretty nice for another partially cloudy and sunny day,” Fluttershy said uncertainty. “Oh! I did see a cloud that looked like a bunny rabbit from the right angle.”
I grasped onto the topic. “Think somepony did that on purpose? Shaped the cloud like that I mean?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I doubt it. The weatherponies in Cloudsdale get upset if they see ponies playing around with what the clouds look like.”
I rubbed my chin. “Huh. I wonder why?”
Fluttershy looked away from me and down at the table. “I don’t know, I’ve never asked.”
“Oh,” was all I could come up with for that. I looked over to Spike and saw that he was now lying his head on the table with his eyes closed. I guess we had actually managed to bore him to sleep. I let out a long sigh. “Looks like we better get going. I think Spike’s had enough for one night, and I better get him to bed.” I snorted. “Even if he has made himself comfortable.”
Fluttershy stood up. “Please, don’t let me hold you up. I can clean up here if you need to put Spike to bed. You do have to walk all the way back to Ponyville after all.”
“If you’ve sure about that?” I lifted Spike carefully onto my back. “I can stay for a few minutes to help you out. It’s not a big deal.”
“Nono, it’s okay,” Fluttershy assured me. I started to lift up the plates Spike and I had carried our dished on, but Fluttershy put her hoof down on one gently. “You don’t need to worry about those either. I’ll clean them up, and give them back to you later. If you don’t mind that is.”
“You really don’t need to do that,” I assured her. “I can handle this much.”
Fluttershy didn’t move her hoof. “It’s quite alright. I was going to have to clean everything anyways, and I can drop these off at the library next time I visit. I just want you to concentrate on where you are walking considering it isdark outside and you’ll have Spike on your back.”
She did have a good point there. It would take at least some of my concentration off of where I was going to levitate the dishes around, and I didn’t want to wake up Spike or risk him falling asleep during the walk and dropping everything. “If you really don’t mind, I would appreciate it.”
“It’s really not a problem.” Fluttershy escorted me to the front door. Spike seemed content to sleep on my back.
I exited her cottage and turned to face her. We stood opposite of one another for a few seconds without talking before I managed to break the silence. “Thanks for having us. It was nice seeing you.” Awkward conversations aside.
Fluttershy smiled and nodded. “Yes, it’s always nice seeing you and Spike. We should do this again.”
“Yeah, we should. Perhaps you can come to the library next time?” I suggested.
“That sounds wonderful.” She motioned to close the door. “See you later then?”
“Yep, bye.” With our final goodbyes said, Fluttershy closed her door and I started my way back to Ponyville and the library. Though now I had more questions on my mind than when I had started the day.
***
I entered the Cloudsdale Library and Archive the next day. I used my hot air balloon to get up to the city, and with a simple cloud-walking spell I was navigating its streets. I had gotten up early in the morning to head out to the city to do some research there before my interview with Cloud Kicker. Questions had been nagging me lately, and I needed answers.
As was typical of Cloudsdale architecture, the library was all columns, arches, and smoothly flowing curves and lines that gave it a unique look from ground based buildings. Unlike many of the buildings in Cloudsdale, the library sported quite a bit of non-cloud materials. Given it was intended to house materials that had a tendency to develop mold and rot when exposed to moisture, much of the building had been made out of thunderforged steel and other enchanted materials to help store everything and allow ponies to enjoy the services offered by the library. It had cost quite a few bits to set up such a building in Cloudsdale, and it was considered an architectural wonder when the construction had finally finished. Materials that were compatible with clouds were far from cheap, and those had been put in place before modern advancements in cloud production started producing clouds that didn’t risk water damage to what was inside.
A small display announced the building as a national landmark. It was easy to tell why given its unique architecture. All that shining steel gave the building a unique sense of sterility unusual to a library—almost like a hospital really—but the smell of steel and old paper and the casual, quiet atmosphere still caused one to have the sense they were indeed in a library.
Luckily the building should hold at least some of the answers I sought. A few things had been bothering me since I started researching for this study on Cloud Kicker—namely issues involving Flight Camp when Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had gone there, as well as my ever-perverse research subject. Dash, Fluttershy, and Derpy had all clammed up on the topic, and I was starting to become curious why. Each of them had gone to Flight Camp nearly a decade ago, but for some reason the memories of it made them all very uncomfortable. While I wanted to respect their privacy, I alsowanted to be thorough in my research. Even if I wanted to finish it up as quickly as possible at this moment. Not like I was going to find much information about them as fillies anyways.
My first stop was to look at the Flight Camp yearbooks. A look through them for the relevant years seemed mostly normal, though I did notice that both Dash and Cloud Kicker had gone to Flight Camp for only one year. Flight Camp was normally a two-year summer program, and it was unusual for a young pegasus to only go to it for one year. There was supposed to be a test at the end, both a written and practical exam, to make sure everypony was capable of flying without hurting themselves or others. Perhaps Rainbow Dash had done well enough to take the test early? She was certainly not one to ever take anything slow if she could help it. I supposed Cloud Kicker might have been able to do the same? Now that I thought about it, I didn’t know how great of a flier she was.
A part of my brain also noticed that Flight Camp had a complete turnover in its staff after Dash and Cloud Kicker’s first and only year there. Looking through a few of the yearbooks it looked like Flight Camp typically had a pretty high turnover rate, so this might not have been that strange. Only getting a few bits of information, I turned my attention elsewhere.
I started reviewing the local newspaper, the Cloudsdale Inquirer, to see if it could offer any information. What I found was not encouraging. It seemed that the Cloudsdale Flight Camp became the source of a particularly nasty scandal one year. Stories of councillor negligence, rampant bullying among students, fights, a couple of pregnancies resulting from students doing things they shouldn’t have been at that age and a lack of supervision, hospital visits for various injuries, and even a case where two fillies had beaten each other to the point of needing Life Flight to take them to the emergency ward. Sun and stars, what had been going on there? It’s possible some of this was exaggerated and sensationalized by the local news sources when this story broke, but if even half of this was true...
After reviewing numerous newspapers, it was clear there had been a general outcry when news got out about everything that had happened at Flight Camp. Parents demanded action, politicians jumped at the opportunity to lay blame elsewhere and take advantage of an easy opportunity to earn some credit with parents, and action was taken. The entire Flight Camp staff had been fired, fines levied, and even a couple of the counselors had been sentenced to jail for a couple of years for criminal negligence. Some changes and reforms were made to the program, and over time the uproar seemed to die down. Life went on, for the most part.
Though it was starting to look like Flight Camp had left its scars on my friends and others, instead of putting my mind to rest, my research had put it more ill-at-ease. I needed more answers. I double-checked the name of the head counselors of Flight Camp at the time: a stallion by the name of Lift Off. Next I looked up his name in the Cloudsdale address book. Finding that, I made my way back into the city. After about an hour, I trotted to a fairly run down section of Cloudsdale. One I wouldn’t have felt entirely safe in at night. The clouds of the apartment complex I arrived at looked poorly maintained and hadn’t been properly packed together in quite some time, causing it to have a spongy, puffy look to the building instead of the neat and ordered look one usually saw in the rest of the city. The ponies themselves looked to be run down too. I found it disquieting how they didn’t seem able to look anypony in the eyes.
I knocked on the door of what I believed to be Lift Off’s address, but received no reply. Not caring to wait in the suspect neighborhood, I knocked on a few of the neighboring doors until I got a pony willing to speak with me. It took a few bits, but I got the information I needed to find Lift Off’s workplace.
Double-checking my map of the city, I made my way into a commercial district of the city, which was lined with shops and restaurants and ponies milling about and shopping. I found the restaurant I was looking for, a vegetable grill joint called the Cloud Nine Diner. Hoping that my information was correct, I entered the establishment.
The restaurant seemed nice enough. The simple white walls were decorated with various photographs and paraphernalia of Cloudsdale-based sports teams. Booths lined the walls and tables and chairs filled up floor space with seating. One of the walls was dominated by the grill where a pony could walk up and select what they wanted to eat. It had a family-friendly atmosphere to it, despite being considerably ... whiter than I was used to for a restaurant.
I looked around and saw a stallion similar in appearance to the one in the photographs I had seen in the Flight Camp yearbook working the grill. He was a brown-coated pegasus with a dark brown mane. He had been fairly muscular when he was younger, but the weight of years and neglect left him pudgy.
I trotted up to the grill to speak to him. He gave me a dispassionate look, one of a pony who had seen a hundred customers already that day and would see another hundred before it was over. “What would you like, ma’am.”
“Mr. Lift Off?” I inquired.
He immediately scowled at me and then turned to an older stallion running the cash register. “Uncle Fry, I’m taking my break now. I’ve got another one.”
Uncle Fry gave me a good, long, hard look and then nodded at Lift Off. “Take care of your business. Call me if you need me.”
“Thanks, Uncle.” Lift Off turned back to me and motioned towards one of the corner booths. “Come on.”
Slightly confused by this straightforward behavior, I followed him and sat opposite of him in booth. “Mr. Lift Off, right? I just wanted to—”
He cut me off with a slash of his hoof. “Listen, if you’re here to cause trouble, just take your plot and get out of here. It’s been nearly a decade and I’ve already gotten more than enough grief over what happened.” He sounded tired as well as frustrated, as if he’d had this talk dozens of times already. Come to think of it, he probably had.
I found myself leaning back against my seat, subconsciously putting more distance between myself and the stallion opposite of me. “I just wanted to ask some questions.”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” He rubbed the side of his face, his hoof running along the stubble that looked like it hadn’t been cut back for a couple of days. “So what are you? A sister, or a fillyfriend? Can’t be one of the kids, ya don’t have the wings.”
“A-a friend.” I had been put off-balance due to it feeling like Lift Off was a step or two ahead in our conversation. This wasn’t exactly how I thought things would go.
He leaned back and let out an annoyed huff. “Great, a nosy friend. Exactly what I need. Look, just say whatever you need to say and get out. I’m sick and tired of wasting my breaks on ponies like you.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Ponies like me?”
He rubbed at one of his eyes roughly. “Yes. Are you just slow or something? You think you’re the first one? You know how many angry parents that have cornered me and threatened to geld me? Prison was probably safer for me those first couple of years after what happened.”
I had finally had enough of being bull-rushed by this pony. I slammed a hoof on the table, but the effect was slowly ruined given it sounded like I was hitting a pillow. Clouds could be inconvenient like that. “Can we slow down for one second?”
“You have—” he looked up to a nearby clock, “—eleven minutes. Then I need to get back to work.”
I took a steadying breath to calm myself. Lift Off might be acting like a bit of a jerk, but I could still control my own attitude and behavior. “Why, why did things turn out so badly at Flight Camp?”
“Why do you care?” He glanced at the clock again and let out a huff.
I was a bit annoyed that he was wasting the apparently invaluable time I had with him with his own questions. “Because I’m trying to understand how and why my friends got hurt. So can you answer my question?”
Lift Off leaned towards me spoke quietly. “Listen, I didn’t mean for things to get so bad. It just... happened. I didn’t want anypony to get hurt. Certainly not all those fillies and colts. Endless night, a couple’a the kids really tore into one another. There was so much blood and...” He shook his head and started to rub the back of his neck.
I leaned in a bit and spoke to him in the same volume as he had spoken to me. “What were you and the other counselors doing all that time? I read in the newspapers that the children couldn’t even find you half the time when they needed you.”
His shoulders slouched and he suddenly looked much older than he should be been. Like the less than a decade that had passed since his running of Flight Camp had weighed twice as heavily on him than other ponies. “You want to know the truth? I’d been trying to get under the tail of the camp nurse.”
“That’s it?” My tone came across much harsher than I originally intended. “That’s why my friends got hurt? Why they were bullied, got into fights, and I’m not sure what else?”
He grinned at me, but it wasn’t an amused one or a malicious one. It tried to be, but there was too much pain behind it to be genuine. “What do you want? For me to admit that it was all part of some evil plot? I made a stupid, stupid mistake. One I’m still paying for. Same stupid deal for the other counselors. I spent two years in jail because I spent more time flirting with the nurse instead of watching the kids I was getting paid to watch. You think I’m proud of any of that, that I haven’t thought time and again what I did wrong in every detail? Always being confronted by parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, lovers, and everypony else who wants to pick a bone with me?” He ran a hoof through his mane. “The only job I could get when I got out of prison was at my uncle’s own restaurant, and he only gave it to me out of familial obligations. I’m stuck in a dead-end job that I have to work six days out of the week just to pay the rent of my crappy apartment.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. What could be said? What could I say that he probably hadn’t heard a thousand times over the years? What could I do to him that being a social pariah wasn’t doing to him? “Oh,” I said out of a need to say something. “I see.”
“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” He stood up from his seat. “So if you don’t mind, I’m going to see if I have enough time to get a little something to drink and a snack before having to get back into the grind.” He walked past me towards the grill. “Have a nice day,” he said without an ounce of sincerity.
All I could do was sit there and look down at the table I was sitting at. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of the information I had just been given. Had all that happened at Flight Camp to my friends and the other ponies I knew been so pointless? Lift Off seemed to be sincere about what he said. If he was lying then he came up with a pretty terrible one. No, what he told me rung of too much terrible truth. I looked at the former Flight Camp counselor as he got back to work serving ponies grilled vegetables. A job it sounded like he would keep right on doing for a long time.
Deciding that I had taken up space in the restaurant long enough, I stood up and began the trek back to Ponyville. I think I had found out about as much as I cared to for one day. I had enough to fill my thoughts for the journey.
As I thought about what I had just learned, I considered that perhaps things didn’t always have a reason for happening.
“Why is there cake batter on my letters?” I asked Derpy, flicking some of the batter off the mail she had just given me. I was careful to try and not get any of it in the library as I stood in the doorway. It was moments like these that made me happy I could use telekinesis. You can’t get telekinesis dirty.
Derpy rubbed the back of her head, causing her mailmare hat to shift forward on her head. “Oh, oops.” She chuckled. “Kinda accidently dropped a few of the letters into a mixing bowl at Sugarcube Corner. Sorry about that.”
I let out a patient sigh. “They just let you into the back of the Sugarcube? What were you doing, helping them bake?”
Derpy straightened her hat. “Nope, they haven’t let me in their kitchen to bake since I set the place on fire.” It was comments like that made me seriously wonder how Derpy hadn’t burned her house down by now. “Usually, I’m just there to have a chat with Pinkie Pie or the Cakes when I drop off their mail, like we’re doing right now. Kinda part of the whole mail service job.”
I decided reminding Derpy that it wasn’t her job to drop my mail into cake batter wasn’t going to do much good. Hopefully this was just a one-time accident. Sheesh, someday I'm going to hear that she managed to set water on fire while trying to boil it.
She chuckled, continuing, "Come to think of it, I had an accident at lunch today... Tried to make tea when the kettle went up in smoke! Can’t say I blame them for wanting to keep me away from the ovens."
And apparently, that day was today.
I cocked an eyebrow. “The actual water? You don’t mean you set something else on fire? Like set oil on top of water on fire?”
She shook her head. “Nope. Well yes, I’ve done that too, but I also set water on fire. You wouldn’t believe how hard that was to explain to the fire department. Good thing the fireponies and I already knew each other. We’re all but friends, given how often they come over.”
“I can imagine,” I said, sarcasm working its way into my tone. I made a mental note to add spells that could help Dinky deal with fires to her syllabus. It sounded like she would get a lot of use out of them.
Derpy tightened the strings to her mailbag. “Anyways, I better get going. Lots of mail to deliver.”
I nodded. “I won’t hold you up then.”
I moved to close the door when Derpy spoke up urgently. “Oh, and before I forget!” I stopped closing the door and opened it back up again. “Thank again for helping Dinky and Sparkler. It really means a lot to all of us.”
I felt my cheeks burn. I didn’t want to make a big deal out of just trying to do the right thing. “Don’t worry about it; I just like to help everypony when I can.”
Derpy gave me one of her bubbly smiles. “I can tell you that Dinky is really looking forward to her first lessons. You’re still good for the time next week that we talked about?”
I smiled back at her as I flicked my letters a couple more times to make sure I had gotten off as much of the batter as possible. “I’ll be ready. I’ve written the syllabus, prepared a reading list, and I’m almost done collecting and preparing thaumaturgic instruments for her lessons. I think we’re going to have a great time! I can already imagine it, my dedicated student standing in rapt attention as I give my lesson. Showing her the best methods for learning spells, the meticulous practicing of spells, the use of arcane instruments! I have no doubt that this is going to be an invigorating experience for both Dinky and I!”
“Err, sounds like you’re really prepared for this then?” Derpy started casting quick glances at the door. Oh dear, I must be keeping her from her route! Can't have her fall behind schedule. Better try and wrap this conversation up.
I magically recalled my “Dinky’s Magical Education Preparation Checklist” list in front of me to look over it again. “Yep, I’ve checked and triple checked to make sure I have everything I need. And then I had Spike triple check it himself. I’ve also read through How to Teach Magic, Spellcasting and your Child, Student and the Mentor—”
Derpy raised up her hoof. “I get it! I get it!” She let out a breath. “You really seem to be putting your all into this, and I appreciate it!”
I dismissed my list, satisfied that everything was where I wanted it at the moment. “Of course! Not a problem! A filly’s magical education is really important.”
Derpy flapped her wings to take off. “I need to get going. See you later, Twilight!”
“Bye, Derpy!” We waved at each other while Derpy flew away, assumedly to continue her delivery route.
I closed the front door of the library and started to look through what we had gotten in the mail. A bill, a couple advertisements that were badly stained by the batter, and a letter from my big brother. I discarded the advertisements in the trash and put the bill to the side to be taken care of when I had scheduled to deal with our monthly bills.
Spike stepped out from the kitchen, holding a plate with some cut vegetables. “Hey, what’d we get in the mail?”
“Just the usual stuff.” I flapped the one letter still in my telekinesis. “And a letter from Shiny.”
“That’s cool.” Spike placed the plate down on the central table in the library. “Say, when’s your family going to visit us here anyways?”
I stopped for a moment to consider that question. “Um, I don’t know.”
Spike grabbed a carrot stick and popped it in his mouth. “You know, we’ve been living in Ponyville for nearly two years, and none of your family have visited yet.”
I sat down at the table and started carefully opening Shiny’s letter. “They’re all busy. You know that. Being Captain of the Guard is a really time-consuming job, and Mom and Dad are always strapped for time.”
Spike pursed his lips. “Have you askedthem to visit you?”
What had brought this topic up all of a sudden? “I ... didn’t want to impose on them. I don’t want to be selfish and pull them away from everything to visit me in a little place like Ponyville.”
Spike picked up a piece of celery. “I don’t think they would mind much if you just scheduled something.” He jabbed the celery at me. “I’m sure they would love to see you and everypony in Ponyville. None of them have even met your friends.”
“Maybe,” I conceded. Spike did have a point. It had been a while since I had even seen any of my family. Not since I had last been in Canterlot during Hearth’s Warming Eve. But it just seemed a lot easier to go to Canterlot than to ask any of them to drag themselves to Ponyville. “I’ll think about it. How about we just read what Shiny has been up to?” Spike shrugged and bit into his celery.
I opened the letter and started reading through it. Luckily the writing had survived (mostly) intact after its run-in with Derpy and her accident-prone ways.
Hi Twily,
How’s my little sis doing? From your last letter, it sounds like you’re doing well in Ponyville. It’s good to hear that you’re making new friends.
I do miss you terribly, though. It was much easier to visit you when you lived in Canterlot and were close at hoof, and it’s hard to come out to someplace like Ponyville. I just don’t have as much time for personal matters and family as I would like, but that tends to come with being in the Guard. I knew that being Captain of the Royal Guard would be time-consuming, but there's a big, big difference between knowing it and actually going through with it—kinda like West Hoof. At least I don’t have to deal with having Blueblood as a bunkmate this time around.
But it’s a pain that even if I worked every hour of the day, I still wouldn’t get everything done. It’s taken some time to get used to, but I think I’ll manage in the end.
I do wonder if you ever plan on coming to Canterlot? I don’t want to be pushy, but you didn’t really reply to my last letter about what your plans are for your future. You know you can’t spend your entire life sitting around in a library, reading books, and writing letters about friendship to the Princess, right? I hate the idea of you wasting your talents and education. You have the potential to do so much more. I know you have done quite a bit, and nopony would say anything else, but I’m sure you can do more with your life.
I’m sure if you moved back to Canterlot you could get a job at a university—maybe a research position, something I’m sure you would really enjoy. Besides, you wouldn’t have to worry about random monsters wandering their way out of the Everfree and into town. How many times have you been to the hospital since going to Ponyville? I think I would feel a lot better if you were back home with your family. Think about it, will you?
At the very least, I would like to see you personally before too long. I have something I would really like to talk to you about when next we meet. You’ll just have to trust me that it’s important.
Also, I wanted to double check that you were coming to Amethyst's birthday. Mom and Dad said they sent you a letter asking, but I thought I should make sure. Peace of mind and all that.
Your BBBFF, Shining Armor
PS: I’m giving you a noogie next time I see you. Because I love you.
“So, what’s it say?” asked Spike.
“Oh, the usual stuff.” I levitated the letter over to Spike so that he could read it himself. “Shiny is busy with work. He wants me to come back to Canterlot so that it’s easier for us to see each other. Same old, same old.”
Spike chewed on a carrot while reading over the letter. “Think he might have a point?”
I shook my head. “He’s just being a big brother, as always. It’s probably just important to him to have somepony be there for him when he comes back from an assignment. Maybe we can see about going to Canterlot to visit him? We could even see my parents while we’re there if they aren't away on business or at Shetland.”
Spike swallowed his carrot and shrugged. “Sounds fine.” He leaned forwarded and grinned. “You could even ask all of them to come visit you in Ponyville!”
I considered that for a moment. “I suppose I could see if they would all like to come over someday.” I didn’t want to make my family feel they needed to come over to see me, and I had to admit having the personal time away from them had been nice. I didn’t think it was so bad to just want some personal space to live my life a little. “I think I’ll go ahead and write a couple of letters to see when it might be a good time to see everypony.”
“Sounds good,” said Spike as he picked up a couple slices of cucumber.
I pulled out a few sheets of paper and writing instruments when I felt a pair of hooves reach from behind my head to cover my eyes. “Guuueeess who?”
It wasn’t exactly hard to narrow down the list of suspects. “Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?”
Pinkie Pie pulled her hooves from my eyes. “Wow, you’re good. How’d you guess? Are you psychic?” She grasped me in a hug from behind and squeezed me hard enough to worry about my ribs.
“Nope,” I wheezed. “I’m not psychic. I just don’t know many ponies with hooves your shade of pink. Besides, you didn’t try very hard to hide your voice.” Not to mention Pinkie's probably the only grown mare who would randomly sneak into somepony's house to do something like this.
“Heh, guess you have a point.” Pinkie released me. “Usually works on foals. The Cake’s twins love that game.”
“Maybe you should try and be a bit more clever with adults?” I advised.
“Got a point there. Oh! I can paint myself and do all sorts of funny voices.” Pinkie said with a bubbly laugh. “I bet the twins would love that.” I supposed it was pointless to explain to Pinkie that game was designed mostly for foals. She walked over to Spike and pointed at his plate. “Mind if I have some?”
Spike waved a claw at the plate. “Go for it.”
“Thankee!” Pinkie went at the plate with gusto and juggled a dozen bite-sized vegetables into the air to chomp down on them one at a time.
I put my writing utensils aside. No sense being rude to my friend while she was here. “So, what brings you to the library? You here to check out a book?”
A big grin spread over Pinkie’s face. “Nope, I’m here to invite you to a party!” Of course, why else would she be here? Okay, that wasn’t completely fair; even Pinkie liked to check out the occasional book.
“What’s the party for this time?” I inquired.
Pinkie leaned to whisper into my ear. “It’s a secret.”
Now that was quite possibly a new one. I can’t remember a time that Pinkie kept the purpose of a party a secret from me. Unleashed surprise parties on me for sure, but nothing like this. “Can you tell me the secret?”
Pinkie blew a raspberry. “Of course not, silly. Then it wouldn’t be a secret.”
I rubbed at my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. Better to get to the point before Pinkie said something that would send me into a fit. “No, of course not. So, where and when is the party?”
Pinkie got behind me and pushed me towards the door. “It’s going on right now! Us girls were talkin’, and we thought we should have a secret party and invite a bunch of ponies to it. Especially you!”
“Wait, what!?” I braced my hooves against the doorframe to keep Pinkie from outright pushing me out of the library.
Pinkie kept right on pushing, and I felt my hooves slowly slip under the pressure. “Come on, Twilight. This party just isn’t going to work without you! It’ll be fun. I promise.”
Spike hopped up. “Yeah, let’s go! Besides, you’ve been spending all your time cooped up in the library all day.”
“Hey, that stuff is important.” Deciding I wasn’t going to win the contest of strength with Pinkie, I teleported behind her and next to Spike. Pinkie flailed her forelegs as she lost her balance and fell to the floor. “I have all that work to do, and we still don’t have the basement finished, and—”
Pinkie looked at me with a pouty frown. “Are you saying you don’t want to come out and have some fun with us?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” I grumbled. Pinkie was being unusually insistent with getting me to this party for some reason. She had gotten pretty good about accepting that we might not want to go to every party since that one incident with her surprise birthday party.
She looked up at me with big, sad eyes. “Please, Twilight. It’s really important you go to this one. Just come out and have fun for a couple hours. Pleeeaaase?”
I had been keeping myself pretty busy as of late, now that I thought of it. There was plenty of work I could do around the library, either to prepare for my interview with Cloud Kicker, get the lab in the basement up and running again, get Dinky’s lessons ready, or just write that letter to my brother. On the other hoof, none of that was particularly time-sensitive.
I let out a long sigh. “Okay, I’ll go to the party.” Perhaps some time to unwind would do me some good. “You want to come, Spike?”
“Sure do!” Spike reached up and climbed onto my back.
“Alright, Pinkie. Lead the way.”
Pinkie trotted out the library door and looked back at me as I followed. “Trust me, Twilight. You’re going to like this one!”
***
“Pinkie, why is Rainbow Dash making a bunch of ponies fly through burning hoops?” I watched as Rainbow Dash encouraged a bunch of pegasi to fly through the incendiary insanity.
“Because Dashie thinks fire makes an obstacle course cooler.” Pinkie tapped her chin with a hoof. “Weeell, I suppose that wouldn’t make it ‘cooler.’ Fire isn’t very cool, you know. In fact, it’s downright hot! It would be more accurate to say that it makes it more awesome or death-defying.”
Spike watched the display of Dash running the ponies going through the course. “It’s pretty awesome to watch.”
“And what type of party has”— I waved a hoof at the fiery obstacle course —“all this going on?” I had to admit, even for Pinkie Pie, ponies putting life and limb on the line was a new one for some party. I thought I was justified to be a bit worried at this point.
Pinkie giggled and pushed me towards the doorway of the Sugarcube Corner. “I told you, silly, it’s a secret. Come on, let’s go inside.” Despite my initial reluctance, I decided to go with Pinkie. Going against whatever she had planned would only make things worse. It was even possible I was misreading whatever it was that was going on outside.
Pinkie led me and Spike into Sugarcube Corner. To no real surprise, Pinkie had made her usual party arrangements for her workplace. She probably had it down to a science by this point ... if science could ever be applied to Pinkie. There were balloons and streamers decorating the whole place, and various confectionaries lay about on a table to the side of the room. Over a couple dozen ponies milled around where I could see.
Pinkie leaned to wrap a foreleg around Spike’s shoulders. “How about we head over to the kiddy section, my scaly little friend?”
Spike crossed his arms over his chest. “Hey, I’m not a kid. I can hang out with the adults too.”
Pinkie had never sent Spike to the kiddy section before at her parties. Though, usually that was because the activities for adults and children were pretty much the same a lot of the times. At this party there was an area clearly set aside for all the children, with all the usual games and activities one would expect. Meanwhile, all the adults were mostly standing around socializing or looking out the windows at whatever Dash was doing. “Why do you want Spike to go with you?” I asked.
“Because that’s where the gem cake is.” Pinkie grabbed Spike’s head and turned it towards a table with a large cake covered in a variety of gems. “I would just hate for something that only dragons can eat to go bad. I mean look at it. Doesn’t it look super yummy?”
“Uh-huh.” Spike licked his lips as he stared at the cake. “Would be a real shame if it had to be thrown out because nodragon ate it.” Knowing Spike, he might very well go into the trash to retrieve the discarded cake later if he didn’t eat it now. He had done it before with other food Sugarcube Corner had thrown out. I was trying really hard to keep him from doing that. Maybe it was a dragon thing?
Pinkie plucked Spike off of my back and slid him onto hers. “How about we get you over there so you can dig in? Cakes don’t eat themselves you know. Trust me, I tried. Cakes aren’t cannibals either. I mean the pastries—well, the Cakes too, none of them are cannibals. I mean, that would just be gross. Though the Cakes do eat cakes but not the other way around. At least as far as I know there aren’t any Cake-eating cakes. That would just be weird. That’s like pies eating Pies when it supposed be the other way around. And let’s not even—”
Spike reached forward to cover Pinkie’s mouth. I’m pretty sure he learned that trick from Dash. “How about you just take me over to the cake so that I can get a slice?” His tongue ran over his lips as he approached the gem cake. “And then another one after that.”
I held a hoof up to stop Pinkie before she could get away. “Spike, I don’t want you eating too much of that cake. You’ll get a stomachache.”
Spike waved a claw at me. “I’ll be fine. I have an iron stomach, remember?”
I gave Spike a stern look. “Just don’t eat nothing but cake and sweets, okay? We can always take leftovers of the cake back home, assuming Pinkie is okay with that.”
Pinkie raised her hoof in a salute. “Not a problem with me. I can’t eat a gem cake. Well, I could eat it, but it would probably make me super sick. And could you imagine trying to pass those gems? Now there’s some constipation problems.”
I moved to follow Pinkie and Spike to where the children were at, when Pinkie spun to face me and placed a hoof on my chest. “How about you mingle with everypony else, Twilight? I’ll take care of Spike and the kiddies.”
I looked around at the other ponies around me. “Oh, okay. I guess that’s fine.”
Pinkie turned to take Spike to the gem cake. “Talk, drink, be merry. Meet some new ponies why don’t ya?”
“Alright, Pinkie,” I said, watching as Pinkie walked away. I stood there for a moment, considering what I should do with myself.
I heard a familiar voice call out to me from my left. “Hey, Twi! Head on over here, girl!” I turned to see Applejack waving me over.
I walked over to her and a small group of ponies she was gathered with. “Hi, Applejack. How are you today?”
Applejack flashed me a grin. “Ah reckon Ah’m doin’ pretty good. Yerself?”
I shrugged. “I’m doing fine. Just another day of the usual.”
Applejack motioned to a light yellow earth pony standing next to her. “Hey, you’ve met mah cousin, Apple Fritter here, remember?”
“Yeah, I have.” I vaguely remembered her face from previous visits to Sweet Apple Acres. Applejack had so many ponies in her family that at times it was hard to keep up. Even so, it payed to be courteous to everypony. “Nice to meet you again.”
Apple Fritter gave a toss of dual green colored mane. “Pleasure ta meet ya.”
I extended my hoof, and she shook it. “So, what brings all you to Ponyville?”
Apple Fritter grinned at me. “Ah live here, for starters.”
“Oh, oops.” I chuckled. I had forgotten that. “My mistake. Sometimes I have trouble keeping track of which of you live around Ponyville and which are just visiting or on business.”
“Not a problem.” Fritter took a swig out of the mug she was carrying. “Ah’m usually out o’ town half the time anyways. Givin’ a helpin’ hoof to mah kin around the country an’ sellin’ our produce to earn some extra bits to get my own farm someday.”
I floated over a nearby cupcake. “That sounds like a nice goal.”
“Yep, thinkin’ about buying a plot of land further out west on the frontier.” Fritter pointed in a vaguely westerly direction. “Lands’ a bit cheaper out that way, or at least that’s how cousin Braeburn puts it.”
“I hope that works out for you then.” I took a bite out of my cupcake.
Fritter let out a long sigh as she looked at her drink. “So do I. Not wild about the idea of moving away from my parents and siblings, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.”
“I can understand that,” I said. “My family’s work takes them all over Equestria, so it can be hard to sit down with them sometimes.”
Applejack turned to take a couple of steps away from the two of us. “I think I’ll leave you two—”
“Hey, Twilight!” Pinkie interrupted whatever Applejack was about to say. She pushed a fuschia coated mare next to us. I instantly recognized the local Ponyville teacher, Cheerilee, as she dug her hooves into the floor in a failed attempt to stop Pinkie’s pushing. “You remember Cheerilee, right? I’ve seen you two hanging out with one another. I mean you both like reading, and went to college, and stuff like that. So that means you two have a super-duper lot in common right?”
I had to wonder what in the world Pinkie was going on about. I considered Cheerilee to be one of my friends after I had helped her with a number of school projects and her help with making sure I was covering everything I should for Spike’s education, but I wasn’t sure why Pinkie was acting like she was introducing her all over again.
“Pinkie!” Cheerilee said in a harsh whisper. “I already told you, I’m already dating Big Macintosh.”
Pinkie tilted her head. “And?”
Cheerilee facehoofed and let out a long sigh. “This just isn’t happening, Pinkie. Just take my word for it.”
My eyebrow rose as I tried to piece together what they were talking about. “What’s going on here?”
Everypony looked at one another, except Applejack, who was glowering in Pinkie’s direction. “Yeah, what’s goin’ on here, Pinks? Twi and mah cousin were gettin’ along like a pig and mud.”
“I was just hoping to add more getting along.” Pinkie wrapped a leg around Cheerilee’s neck, and Cheerilee frowned irritably. “The more getting along everypony is doing the better things are going, right?”
Applejack pushed herself between Pinkie and Cheerilee and faced Pinkie. “An’ Cheerilee ain’t interested. She said so herself.” She turned to face Cheerilee. “Ah’m sorry about this. Ya know how Pinkie can get sometimes.”
Cheerilee put on a smile for us all. “It’s alright.” She gave Pinkie a friendly pat on the back. “Thanks, but no thanks, Pinkie. I know you’re just trying to be a good friend, but I’m just not looking for anypony else right now.”
Pinkie waved Cheerilee goodbye as she walked away. “Okie dokie lokie, enjoy the rest of the party!”
I turned to Applejack and Pinkie, Apple Fritter seemed to have slunk away without me noticing during whatever it was that Pinkie was pulling. “Okay, seriously, what is this all about?”
Pinkie batted her eyes at me. “Nooothing.”
Applejack looked up and away from me and was biting her lower lip. “Just one of Pinkie’s usual parties. Yessiree, just a normal get together between friends. That’s all there is to it.”
I had a feeling something was up, but I couldn’t put my hoof on it. Both Applejack and Pinkie were acting ... off somehow. Well, Pinkie was always off in her own special way, but this was something else. I could tell the two of them were up to something. I just wasn’t sure what.
I was about to inquire further when I saw Rainbow Dash zip into Sugarcube Corner. She flashed us a confident grin. “Hey, Twilight. Come on out. I got something to show you!”
Applejack continued to avoid eye contact with me while Pinkie had taken to doing the same while whistling. I considered continuing to press the two of them, but I could tell from the way Dash was tapping her hoof on the floor that she was about five seconds away from dragging me outside if I didn’t come with her right away.
After a sign, I nodded my head. “Alright, show me what it is.”
“Awesome!” Dash flew back outside, leaving me to catch up with her. I exited Sugarcube Corner to see Dash standing in the middle of the street, smiling expectantly at me. Blossomforth was standing next to her and was shifting uncomfortably on her hooves. Dash pointed down the street. “So what do you think?”
By the looks of it, the obstacle course I had seen earlier had become even more elaborate than last time I had seen it: numerous hoops, bars, and other obstacles were periodically placed along the street, all of which were on fire. I was about to ask Dash if this was what she wanted me to see when I was cut off by an explosion. I could only watch on in amazement and horror as I saw at least a dozen pegasi flying through the inferno of a race course as they banked and wove through the obstacles and dodged the strategically placed explosives.
In the flash of an explosion, I almost missed a jasmine-coated mare whiz by me and cross the finish line. And by that I mean she was sent tumbling by the last set of explosions and rolled through the line that had been set up to mark the end of the race. Her coat and wings were singed, and she panted for breath.
The mare pointed a shaky hoof at Rainbow Dash. “I hate you ... so very much right now,” she said, malice filling every word.
Dash was busy marking something down on a clipboard as more exhausted and crispy pegasi finished the race. “Don’t be a wuss, Raindrops. You won. That’s what counts. The explosions aren’t even that bad, mostly just big flashbangs to scare you all a bit.” Raindrops mumbled something about terrible revenge as she continued to gasp for air. I watched on as I tried to figure out what I had just witnessed.
Dash made a final mark on her clipboard and quickly nodded once. “Radical, we didn’t even lose anypony this time around.”
A stallion with a midnight-blue coat caught enough of a breath to yell at Dash. “You’re insane! This is suicide!” With that, he collapsed onto the ground in a heap.
Dash flashed the stallion a grin. “Depending on how fast you can run and dodge.” She gave Blossomforth a light jab to the shoulder. “You sure you don’t want to join? If you’re fast, I’m sure you could get through the Flaming Obstacle Course of Lovey Doom. I’ll even let you skip the Racetrack of Burning and the Explodimania Talent Competition of Fire considering you’re one of my pals.”
Blossomforth narrowed her eyes at Dash. “I think I’d rather not risk being set on fire.”
Dash shrugged and went back to looking at her clipboard. “Your loss. Now you’re not going to get to read epic love poetry to the ponyquin that’s on fire.”
“I think I’ll live,” Blossomforth said dismissively. “In fact, I’m pretty sure not participating will increase my chances of living to old age.”
“Rainbow Dash”— I pointed to the obstacle course that was now in the process of burning down —“what is all this?”
“Oh, this?” Dash rubbed a hoof on her chest and then casually inspected it. “I’m just trying to get you the best date ever!”
I just stared at Dash, my brain having trouble processing what I had just seen versus what she had just said. “What?” was the best my brilliant mind could come up with.
Dash wrapped a leg around my shoulders and pointed me at the recovering pegasi. “Keep up, Twilight. I’ve set up a bunch of awesome, death defying, and radical contests to determine who should get the right to date you. Isn’t that the coolest thing ever?”
So very many questions went through my mind. At a loss on where to start, I went with one of the ones that stood out more. “Why do all of your tests involve fire?”
“Fire is cool,” Dash said confidently.
“Actually, fire’s hot,” said Pinkie, wrapping a leg around Dash’s shoulders and lining the three of us up.
I let out a long, patient sigh as I facehoofed. “Yeah, it sure is, Pinkie.”
“Will you jump through a bunch of burning hoops to show your love for me?” Pinkie nuzzled Dash’s cheek.
“Yeah, sure Pinks.” Dash turned to face me again, looking as though she barely even considered what Pinkie had said. “Oh, and the best part, Twilight? The final test has fire and explosions. There’re going to be so many awesome stunts for the last part!”
I moved onto the next question that my head demanded an answer for. “Are you trying to get somepony killed?”
Dash’s mouth turned up in a confident smirk. “Relax, Twi, I know what I'm doing. Well, it’s Blossomforth and Pinks who set everything up—so it’s technically them who know what they’re doing. But they're doing what I tell them to, so it's kinda the same.” She waved a hoof to dismiss any objections. “Besides, everypony volunteered.”
Blossomforth raised her hoof. “For the record, I’m only doing this because I’m getting paid overtime.”
“And how did Dash manage that without getting into trouble?” I asked.
“I marked it down as part of a team building exercise for Tornado Day,” Dash said proudly.
I rubbed my forehead. “I'm not sure which I should be more concerned by, that or the fact you managed to convince a bunch of ponies to do this..”
Dash beamed at the comment. “What can I say? I'm awesome.”
“The fact you managed to pull this off does say something, that's for sure,” I said.
Dash let go of me to fly forward and pull a couple of exhausted looking ponies further away from the flaming wreckage that had been her obstacle course. “Hey, Twi, you know how to make explosives, right? Phase six needs more kaboom.”
I stared at the ponies who were trying to recover from Dash’s treatment of them. “I'm not sure I feel comfortable making explosives so you can threaten to blow up a bunch of ponies.”
“I won't blow them up,” Dash said dismissively. “Probably. Unless they really stink at dodging. Then you can probably blame Blossomforth or Pinkie.”
“Hey!” Blossomforth jabbed a hoof into Dash’s shoulder. “Take responsibility for your own crazy plans!”
Dash snorted derisively. “My plan is perfect. It’s up to everypony to pull it off.”
There were so many things wrong with this situation I wasn’t even sure where to start. “You realize not everypony is a daredevil like you, right? As in they might not be able to handle something this ... outlandish?”
“Hey, if they can't handle it, they shouldn't have signed up,” Dash said obstinately.
I could only describe all of this as madness. “And you got everypony to agree to this crazy series of tests ... how?”
Dash leaned on my shoulder. “Guess they really wanna date you, egghead.”
That’s when my second major line of questioning finally rammed into the forefront of my thoughts like a charging Ursa Major. I think I can be forgiven on taking a little bit for getting to this topic. Fire and explosions are distracting. “Wait, what!?”
Dash vigorously nodded. “Yeah, that's what the contest is for. You can bet I’ll find the bestest pony for you.”
There were so many reasons why all of this didn’t add up. “Where did this suddenly come from?” I pointed at Dash’s contestants and the flaming wreckage. “Who said I wanted all of this? For that matter, how does it show that they're qualified to date me?”
“I'm helping you out,” she said as though what she were doing was the most natural thing in the world. “This will totally show who the bestest, most awesome, cool, and radical pony is for you. Besides me that is. It’s something a friend would do for another, right? Help them get the best date ever?”
“That is technically accurate,” I had to admit. “So ... thank you?”
“No need to thank me; it was no trouble at all,” she said, showing all the modesty of a peacock. “Though you can if you want to.”
“The lengths you will go to show your friendship are beyond anything I would expect out of anypony,” I said flatly. Dash preened at the compliment. I felt a moment of dizziness as everything that was happening crashed down on me. Why in the world was Dash trying to get me a date and in the most outlandish way possible? “I think I'm going to need to sit down for a moment; this is a bit much for me.”
Dash patted me on the back. “Yeah, the awesome levels here are pretty high.”
I sat down as I tried to process everything. “‘Awesome’ is one word to describe all of this, that I have to admit.”
Dash grinned and put a wing around my shoulders. “Nothing less than the best is good enough for you, Twilight.” She turned to face the gathered ponies in the street. “Alright everypony! Rarity has been getting on my case to make this whole thing sappy and romantic, so you guys have to come up with some love poetry or something so she'll stop bugging me. But! We can kick things up a notch so this won't be completely boring.”
Raindrops dragged herself to her hooves. “Lemme guess, your idea involves adding fire and/or explosives?”
“Hay yeah!” Dash pumped a hoof into the air. “There’s nothing that can’t be made better with explosions!”
Raindrops let out a frustrated groan. “Nope, nope, I'm done. Bye.”
Dash’s lips puckered into a pout. “Aw c'mon! You haven't even gotten to the best part yet!”
Raindrops rolled her eyes. “Does it involve a race with you? Only with fire and explosives this time?”
“Yeah.” Dash nodded. “Through the Ghastly Gorge.”
A pegasus flying above placed a hoof above his eyes as he looked out over the horizon. “Did you set the Ghastly Gorge on fire!?”
“Only a couple parts,” said Dash. “You can't have the fire and the explosives too close together. Doesn’t take an egghead to figure out that much.”
“Where did you even get all the supplies for this?” Blossomforth tapped the top of a crate that was lying on the side of the street. “You have enough plastic explosives to start a war.”
Dash pointed at her fillyfriend. “Pinkie Pie.” The idea that Pinkie could get crates full of explosives, mainly just to help with one of her fillyfriend’s plans, was more than a little terrifying.
Raindrops rubbed at her eyes and groaned. “There is a fine line between genius and madness. This just crossed over into stupid.”
“Stupidly awesome?” asked Dash, more as a statement then a question.
“Oh, I think this meets with the definition of awesome too,” I commented. Needless to say, it probably covered the stupid category by a safe margin also.
Blossomforth facehoofed. “I don't get paid enough to deal with this.”
“You get paid more than I do,” Raindrops grumbled. “At least your getting overtime for this madness.”
I walked over to one of the crates lining the road and looked inside to see a distressing number of explosives and equipment to help set them up. “How in Equestria did she convince you all to do this?”
Raindrops stretched her back and wings, eliciting a series of pops. “Seemed like good flying practice. And Pinkie promised free food afterwards.”
Pinkie nodded sagely. “You can convince ponies to go along with all sorts of things for free food.”
“Yeah, free food helps too,” Blossomforth agreed.
“Also, it didn't sound like a bad idea when Dash first talked about it.” Raindrops shot Dash a menacing glare. “She didn't mention the explosives and incendiaries.”
“Well yeah.” Dash gave Raindrop a cocky smirk. “Those were surprises. Need to keep all of you on the tips of your hooves.”
Blossomforth looked across the half dozen crates that I feared had once been filled with explosives. “Have to wonder how you would have gotten all the bombs set up without me.”
Dash poked Pinkie in the shoulder with an elbow. “Pinkie knows a lot about explosives.”
Pinkie leaned her head against Dash’s. “Yep, it turns out ya need to get a couple licences to own a party cannon.”
“Well, now I have something new to be terrified of,” Raindrops grumbled some more.
Dash wrapped a leg around Pinkie’s neck as she looked at the rest of us. “Oh c'mon, she's not that bad.”
“Don't worry girls,” Pinkie chirped. “I know all about blowing things up from my time on the rock farm. Sometimes you had to teach some of the really big and meanie rocks a lesson and turn them into a bunch of small and happy rocks you can move around.”
Blossomforth raised her hoof. “I'm not the only one who wants to ask more questions every time she gives an answer, right?”
I rubbed the sides of my head, feeling what was most definitely a headache coming on. “You're happier not knowing. Trust me.” The world was just better off not knowing a lot of things about Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie gave us all an innocent smile. “I'm a mystery, inside of an enigma, inside a bunch of colorfully-wrapped boxes.”
Dash shrugged. “Eh, you're awesome.”
Pinkie firmly poked Dash in the snout. “Thank you! And you're radical, and cool, and all those other words you really like to say all the time.” She gave Dash a big hug and nuzzled her.
“Thanks, Pinks.” Dash hugged Pinkie back.
I took a deep breath as I tried to take stock of everything that was going on. Everypony had been acting off today for some reason, and now Dash was making a bunch of ponies put life and limb on the line. Apparently for the chance to get a date with me, or just a chance to prove themselves and/or get free food.
I decided to calmly and rationally try and bring an end to this madness. Who knows, it might even work. “Dash, you seriously don't need to do all of this. I’m not sure what made you suddenly decided I needed a date, but I’m fine, really.”
Dash frowned at me. “But I just wanna find you an awesome pony, Twi.”
I had known Dash long enough that I was at risk of hurting her feelings right now. “I know, I know, but ... I didn't expect all of this. I don't even know why this suddenly came up. Maybe I'll just go into Sugarcube Corner and sit down for a bit until you get your winner.”
I closed my eyes and rubbed at my face. “I'm just ... a bit overwhelmed at the moment.”
Dash's ears perked back up. “Oh. Alright then. I guess it is a lot to take in at once.”
“Yeah, it kind of is,” I agreed. That was putting it mildly, to say the least. I suppose I should have felt flattered due to all the effort Dash was putting into this. It was hard to imagine that Dash didn’t think this was a great idea, no matter how misguided. Dash just had her own way of doing things.
“Alright.” There was a moment of silence between us before Dash spoke up again. “You will be here for the final round, right?”
I ran a hoof through my mane. “Yeah, I think I'll just head back into Sugarcube Corner for a bit and absorb all of this.” Maybe I could get some answers on why Dash was doing all of this from my other friends.
“Cool, cool.” Dash nodded. “I'll come get you for the finals then.”
I stood up, my balance a bit more precarious than I would have liked. “Sounds good. I'll see you in a bit then.” Looking at the ponies who had participated, I wasn’t sure I wanted to think what Dash’s big finale would be.
I walked back into the Sugarcube Corner. The party seemed to still be in the swing of it. Looking around, I saw Fluttershy and Rarity standing off to a wall near the concessions table. I was nearly stopped a couple of times by ponies who wanted to chit-chat, but I managed to excuse myself to reach Rarity and Fluttershy.
“Hi, girls,” I said, working my way past the last couple of ponies standing between me and my friends.
Fluttershy turned my way and smiled. “Hi, it’s nice to see you.”
“Why, hello, Twilight,” said Rarity. “It’s good to see that you came.”
I decided to get to the heart of what I was thinking at the moment. “So ... Dash is up to some interesting things.”
“Is she now?” Rarity asked in a haughty manner.
Fluttershy hunched her shoulders and frowned. “Oh, yes, she asked if I wanted to participate. I had to tell her no. Explosions scare me. They’re too loud for me.”
“You don’t say?” I replied to Fluttershy. After a moment's consideration, I decided I might as well get to the bottom of what was going on outside the Sugarcube. “Funny enough, she said she was trying to get me a date with this crazy contest of hers. You two wouldn’t happen to know anything about this, would you?”
Fluttershy scrapped a hoof on the floor. “Um, maybe?”
Rarity took a sip from the cup she was carrying with her telekinesis. “I’m sure she has the best intentions.”
“And where did she come up with the idea that I needed a date?” I snapped. I had a feeling my friends were up to something behind my back. This whole situation just struck me as odd. It just didn’t strike me right that Dash would suddenly decide she needed to find me a date on her own.
“Now, Twilight, just calm down and give us a moment to explain.” Rarity poured a cup of what was probably punch from the concessions table and floated it towards me. “How about you just get a quick something to drink? You’re starting to look flustered.”
I took hold of the cup, snapping it from Rarity’s telekinesis a little more roughly than I intended. “Okay, let’s have a talk. I’m sure there is a logical explanation for why Dash is nearly getting a bunch of ponies blown up.”
“Hiya, girls,” Applejack said, walking up to the rest of us, interrupting Rarity before she could even start to give me an explanation for what was going on. Besides her was a maroon-coated stallion who gave us all a friendly nod. “Y’all haven’t met my cousin Cinnamon Apple, have ya?” Rarity vigorously shook her head and a hoof at Applejack. “What? I was just wantin’ ta introduce mah cousin here ta Twi.” She gave Rarity a long wink.
I narrowed my eyes at the ponies around me. “Uh-huh.” I took a long sip from my cup while I reviewed everything that had happened since Pinkie showed up at the library to drag me here.
That’s when I got ambushed from behind by a very enthusiastic pony. “So have ya banged Cloud Kicker yet? 'Cause lemme tell ya, she's super-duperriffic in the sack!” Pinkie chirped. I choked on my drink, coughing violently as the punch burned my throat.
“So is that a yes spit-take or a no-spit take?” Pinkie asked. “I have a lot of trouble telling the difference most of the time.”
Fluttershy placed a hoof on my back as I continued to hack. “Are you okay?” It was a little hard to give her an answer when I was worried about losing a lung due to my coughing fit.
Rarity whispered something into Applejack’s ear. Applejack eyes widened and she turned to her cousin. “Um, Cinnamon? This probably ain’t the best time. How about ya just enjoy some of the food Pinkie has set up?”
“Sure thing, cousin.” Cinnamon nodded his head and walked off to the concessions table.
“No, Pinkie,” I managed to wheeze out. “I didn’t ‘bang’ Cloud Kicker.” I glowered at my over-enthusiastic friend. “And I’m not going to, and I wish everypony would stop asking if I had. And even if I had, I’m not sure if it’s your or anypony else’s business.” It had been a very long week, and I could feel my patience quickly running out. Pinkie coming out of nowhere to ask me if I had intercourse with Cloud Kicker was a lot of straw dumped onto an already overburdened camel.
Pinkie flinched back away from me. “I was just curious. No need to be a grumpy-pants about it.”
I took a long breath to try and calm myself. “Sorry, but I can’t help but feel everypony has been planning behind my back. This whole party is putting me on edge. What’s this party for again?”
Pinkie busily tossed down some paper towels to clean up the mess I had made by spitting onto the floor. “That’s a secret. Well, it was after everypony convinced me to call it a Don’t-Tell-Twilight-Why-We’re-Having-This-Party Party.”
“And why can’t I know why we’re having this party?” I asked.
“Pinkie, no—” Rarity tried to interject.
Pinkie ran right over Rarity’s attempt to keep her from answering. “Because everypony said it would be insensitive to call it a Hopefully-Twilight-Won't-Die-A-Virgin-But-Is-Totally-Okay-With-Being-Single Party.”
“A what party?” It took me a few seconds to begin to process this.
Rarity put a hoof on my shoulder. “Just give us a minute to explain, darling.”
Applejack stomped a hoof. “There’s no point in dancing around the issue, Rares. Ya know we shoulda just come out and been honest with Twi right from the start.”
“I didn’t want to make a big deal of it,” Fluttershy piped in.
“Come out with what?” I growled. “Can I just get a straight answer here?”
“Well...” Rarity bit her lower lip. “It’s just that—”
“We were worried that you were going to die an old spinster,” Pinkie cut in. “I mean, we’ve never seen you date, or be all kissy-smoochy with anypony, or do anything even kinda romantic. We’ve all joked that you were going to end up marrying a book someday. Though I’m not sure that’s actually legal...”
“That’s what this is all about?” I couldn’t help but let accusation find its way into my tone. “You’re trying to trick me into finding a date?”
“Pinkie put it a bit strong, Twi,” Applejack said soothingly. “We’re just tryin’ ta get ya out a bit more. See a few more ponies ya might like.”
“Girls, I’m not even sure what to say right now.” What in the world made them think I needed a date? “I don’t need help finding a date or a special somepony or whatever. I’m fine as I am.”
Fluttershy pawed at the ground. “We’re just trying to help you. We don’t want you to feel lonely.”
“I’m not lonely,” I insisted. “And I’m not looking for a date. I have more than enough on my plate as it is without wasting time on something frivolous like this.”
Rarity placed a hoof on my shoulder. “Twilight, I don’t think—”
Rarity was cut off when Dash came crashing into the Sugarcube and landed by us. “Hey, Twilight. C’mon! It’s time for the final contest to get you the best date ever! We just finished the Epic Poetry Bash. I thought it was going to be completely lame, but then Flitter busted out this radical thing that got us all to start singing and stuff. There were fireworks and everything, and now I’m totally pumped for the run through Ghastly Gorge.”
My hoof failed to resist the gravity of my face. I just wanted this nonsense to stop. “Dash, as I was telling everypony else, I’m not looking for a date.”
“What?!” Dash pointed back out the main door to the Sugarcube. “But everypony worked so hard to get to the end of this, and you want to stop it now? That isn’t cool.”
Pinkie moved to stand next to Dash. “Yeah, you know how hard it was to set up that many explosives? It took forever and ever to do. Not to mention getting this party ready.”
Rarity stepped between me and Dash and Pinkie. “Girls, maybe we should—”
“Maybe you should have asked me before you started all of this?” I snapped.
Dash moved forward to get into my face. “Hey, we’re just trying to help ya out! Maybe we don’t want you to die alone!”
The comment caused me to stiffen. I moved around Dash to leave the Sugarcube. I was through with this foolishness. “That’s it, I’m out of here!” What was so hard to understand that I didn’t need a special somepony? I was fine.
Fluttershy trotted to keep up with me. “Please calm down. Everypony is just trying to help. Dash and anypony else didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”
Rarity was right on our heels. “Let’s talk this through. Everypony is just hot under the collar.”
I felt claustrophobic as my friends started following me and surrounding me. It was becoming too much for me to handle all at once. I could tell none of them were going to leave me alone at this rate, and I wasn’t likely get back to the library without everypony following me. My horn glowed as I pulled on my magic and concentrated. With a flash of magic, I teleported back to the library. My nice, quiet, peaceful library. I was alone, without anypony to bother me to say I was lonely.
I leaned my head against one of the bookshelves and sighed. “I forgot Spike.”
***
I was busy cutting arcane symbols into the brass ring that was my new summoning circle. My small chisel and hammer carved out exact grooves into the brass with methodical precision, only stopping when I reviewed one of my books on summoning to double check that I was doing everything exactly so. It wouldn’t do to make a minor mistake with my craftmareship. I had been working on the summoning circle since I got back from that preposterous party. I needed something, anything to take my mind off of what happened earlier, and the monotonous but intensive work of symbol carving was what the doctor ordered.
There was some guilt over leaving Spike at the party, but I didn’t want to face my friends at that moment. It felt like I was just going to get into a big argument with them if I went back. Besides, it wasn’t like my friends wouldn’t take care of Spike. He could use some time to get out and enjoy himself anyways. Pinkie would make sure he had fun, if nothing else.
After working on my circle for an hour, I heard somepony knocking. Given the late hour, I could narrow the pool of ponies who were probably at the door to a pretty short list. If it was Spike, he would have come in, given this was his home. So that left a hooffull of ponies who probably wanted to talk with me. I considered not answering the door for a long moment but decided against it. Being outright rude wouldn’t have helped anypony. If need be, I could just ask whoever was at my door to come by when I was in a better mood. I put down my tools and walked to the front door. Opening it, I saw Rarity standing there with Spike lying across her back.
Rarity gave me a strained smile. “Hello, Twilight.”
“Hi, Rarity,” I said, my tone more icy than I intended.
Rarity turned so that I could get a better look at Spike. “I brought Spike back now that the festivities are over.”
Spike’s arms were wrapped around his stomach and he moaned pitifully. “I had too much cake.”
I wrapped Spike in my telekinetic field and placed him on my own back. “Thanks ... That means a lot. I should have brought him with me or went back for him, but...” I trailed off, too embarrassed and annoyed to go on. Rarity had gone through the effort to bring Spike home, and I didn’t want to snap at her after she had done that for me.
Rarity took a tentative step forward. “Could I please come in? I’d like to talk.” I chewed over whether I wanted to let her in or not. “Please?”
I sighed and nodded. This was probably going to happen sooner or later, and admittedly, the work on my summoning circle had calmed me down a bit since I teleported away from the party. “Yeah, okay.” I stepped out of the doorway to allow Rarity to enter the library. “Can I just take Spike to bed first? He looks like he’s done for the day.”
Rarity entered the library and closed the door after herself. “Of course, take care of the darling first.”
“Thanks.” I climbed the stairs to our private quarters. Spike groaned in protest as he got bumped around by the ascent. “I told you not to eat too much cake, Spike.”
“But it was sooo good,” he moaned.
I levitated Spike carefully into the basket that served as his bed. I retrieved some medicine from the bathroom to help with Spike’s tummyache. “Here, take this,” I said, pouring a small cup of the syrupy medicine. Spike grunted and drank it without protest. Even foul-tasting medicine didn’t bother him. That done, I put the bottle and cup away in the bathroom.
When I returned to the bedroom, I saw that Spike had closed his eyes and rolled over to his side. I pulled up his blanket make sure he was comfortably covered. “Goodnight, Spike. I love you.” I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead. Spike groaned and pulled his blanket tighter around himself. Luckily, it looked like he was going to be fine enough that he was going to be able to sleep without any problems. Even when he had gotten into this kind of condition, he was usually fine after a good night’s rest. Not much kept a dragon down for long.
With Spike taken care of, it was time to deal with the other problem facing me. Back downstairs, it looked like Rarity had made herself comfortable lying on a cushion by the library’s central table and had pulled a book off the shelf to read.
I cleared my throat to catch Rarity’s attention. “So, talking?”
Rarity closed the book she had been reading and placed it on the table. “If you don’t mind.” She motioned towards a cushion by her. “Why don’t you sit down? This might take a while.”
Seeing no reason not to other than out of pure spite, I did so. “So, shall we start with how my feelings were kinda hurt, or do you want to explain everything first?” Okay, so I might have been a bit bitter about what happened earlier. In my defense, it had been a long week.
“Okay, yes. I will admit that could have gone better.” Rarity placed a hoof on my own. “But I assure you our friends had the best intentions.”
“So you’re placing yourself separate from them?” I asked, a note of suspicious creeping into my tone.
Rarity sighed and looked down at the table. “Yes and no. We talked about it, and while I didn’t agree with how they did everything, sometimes you don’t have any choice but to go with the majority opinion. In any event, I still stand by their intentions. Even if their methods were ... less than ideal.”
“I don’t need a date,” I grumbled. “I don’t know what made any of you think that.”
Rarity leaned closer to me. “Twilight, can I be frank with you?”
I considered Rarity’s question. Given the two of us were sitting here, talking, I decided we might as well bring everything out into the open. “Okay, go ahead.”
Rarity nodded slowly and leaned back. “We’re just concerned for you, is all. We couldn’t help but noticed that you ... haven’t made romantic pursuits since coming to Ponyville. It’s been a joke around town that you spent Hearts and Hooves Day with your one true love, books.”
My ear flicked at that comment. So what if I wanted to spend my holidays with a good book? Nothing wrong with that. “Nooo, that’s because I’m too busy to be doing that type of thing,” I stated calmly.
Rarity huffed. “Now that just isn’t true. I run my own business, keep up a social life, and help raise my sister, but I still make time for trying to find my one true love.”
“I guess that’s just a higher priority for you then,” I rationalized.
“And I think it should be a higher priority for you.” Rarity placed a hoof on my shoulder. “It’s just that we don’t want you to be alone. I’ve noticed that you haven’t been mingling as much since Pinkie and Rainbow Dash have started dating, and Applejack and I”— she paused almost imperceptibly —“have been spending more time together. We don’t want you to feel like you’ve been left out in the cold.”
“It’s fine,” I insisted. I stood up, lifting up the book Rarity had taken down—some book on historical fashion trends—and looked to reshelve it. “I’m not jealous or anything. I’m happy for all of you. Life moves onwards.”
Rarity rose to stand next to me as I perused the bookshelves. “Tell me, have you ever been on a date before?”
I froze at the question. “What does it matter? That’s kinda personal, don’t you think?”
Rarity tsked at me. “Maybe for complete strangers, but we’ve been friends for nearly two years now. You trust me, don’t you?”
“Of course I do,” I said without hesitation.
“So answer my question, have you ever been on a date before?” she asked. “Kissed another pony? Asked somepony out? Gone to a dance?”
“No,” I stated. “I’ve never been on a date or any of that. It’s just never been important to me.”
Rarity stared at me for a moment, her expression unreadable. She placed a hoof against my shoulder. “Now, I understand that becoming romantically involved can be intimidating, I really do. And you had trouble just making friends before coming to Ponyville. Romance and dating is on an even higher level than friendship.”
“I’m not intimidated,” I huffed, finally finding where the spot for the book Rarity had taken down. I shoved the book into place with a loud thud. I used only slightly more force than was necessary. “Maybe I’m just not interested in that type of thing.”
Rarity frowned. “You’re telling me you’ve never looked at another pony that way before? Come now, I have trouble believing that.”
“Well I haven’t. I just don’t look at other ponies like that.” I plopped down on a cushion by the table. “It’s just not for me.”
Rarity sat down next to me. “It’s not just that. I’m ... concerned about the time you are spending with Cloud Kicker. I’m worried she might take advantage of you, even if not intentionally on her part, of your inexperience. She has quite a bit of experience at ... socializing, while you don’t.”
I rolled my eyes. Great, it all came back to Cloud Kicker again. I wonder if I should blame her for the party earlier? “I’m not going to sleep with her, if that’s your worry. I can barely stand her. The sooner I’m done with my report on her the better.”
Rarity bit her lower lip. “If you say so.”
I crossed my forelegs over my chest. “I do.”
“Still, I do worry.” Rarity wrapped one of her legs around mine. “I don’t want you to get hurt when you don’t need to be.”
With a patient sigh, I nodded. “I’m fine, really, I am.” I rubbed my forehead. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
Rarity gave me a comforting nuzzle on the cheek. “Do you at least understand why we all set that party up?”
“Yeah, I think so.” I turned to look her in the eyes. “Funny enough, I figured you would be the first one to jump on trying to get me a date.”
Rarity smiled at that. “Yes, I suppose I do take a bit of pride in being able to find the right ponies for one another. But I didn’t want to throw any proposed date of my own onto the proverbial dogpile in this case.”
“What do you mean?” I asked. “Why?”
Rarity ran a hoof through her mane to help puff it back up. “Because, when I introduce one pony to another, I want to make sure they have a realconnection. You see, a diamond needs to be displayed in such a way as to augment its beauty. You don’t just throw it into a pile of rocks and expect it to be properly admired.”
“Uh-huh.” I chewed over that. I had to wonder if Rarity was just biding her time at this point. “But you do understand that I’m just not interested in the dating thing, right?”
Rarity let out a huff. “If you say so. Though I wish you would at least think it over. I assure you, there wouldn’t be any harm in at least trying to date another pony. I think you would like it.”
I rubbed at my eyes, exhaustion starting to wear me down. “Okay, I’ll at least think about it if it will make you happy.”
“That’s all I ask for.” Rarity wrapped me up in a friendly hug. “We just want you to be happy.”
I hugged her back. “Yeah, I know.” Even if they sometimes went about it the wrong way, it was comforting to know my friends were looking out for me.
Rainbow Dash is terrible at apologies. I have determined that this is a fundamental law of the universe. Like gravity, mathematics, that fact that Applejack couldn’t lie to save her life, Star Swirl's fourth law of quantum trans-morphic phaseology, or that Pinkie Pie defies any kind of explanation whatsoever. I find a level of comfort in certain things being undoubtedly true. Not that I’m not annoyed by those facts sometimes.
“So, um, yeah.” Rainbow Dash looked away from me as she rubbed at one of her forelegs. “It wasn’t completely radical what happened to you yesterday at the party.”
“Nooo, Dashie,” Pinkie whined. “That isn’t how an apology is supposed to work. You need to apologize for what you did to Twilight, not just say something bad happened.”
I rubbed my forehead as I felt the beginning of a headache. Pinkie and Dash had come to the library to apologize for what they had done to me at the “Let’s Get Twilight A Date” party. Unfortunately, progress had ground to a standstill with Dash’s fourth failed attempt. Applejack hadn’t had nearly as much trouble when I had met her in the market to pick up a few things. I was beginning to suspect that Pinkie had come over to make sure that Dash actually went through with the apology instead of blowing it off.
Dash stomped a hoof. “Well, it’s hard and dumb.”
“No. it isn’t!” Pinkie protested. “Here, let me show you!” Before I had time to react, Pinkie was on the floor and had her forelegs wrapped around my own. “Twilight! I’m sooo sorry!” she wailed, tears streaming down her face as she looked up at me with quivering lips. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you, or make you feel bad, or hook you up with a pony who already had a special somepony and isn’t into mares anyways, because oops, sometimes I gets a bit excited about something and don’t quite think it through! Can you ever forgive me!?” With that said, the waterworks suddenly stopped and she looked up at me with an expression that was far more serious then I was used to out of my hard-partying friend. “But no, seriously, I am trying to apologize here. Please accept my apology.”
I sighed as I tried to keep from falling over. “It’s fine, Pinkie. I know you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. How about we just put this behind us?”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie hopped back to her hooves and gave me a hug that caused me to groan from the pressure. “You’re such a great friend, Twilight!”
“Oh come on!” Dash protested. “You’re going to let her off the hook just like that!?”
I frowned at my stubborn friend. “Yes, because she gave me a sincere apology. Pinkie told me exactly what she was sorry for, and I believed her.” I shrugged as best I could in Pinkie’s hug. “So I forgave her, simple as that.”
Dash grumbled something I couldn’t make out.
“That didn’t sound like an apology either,” Pinkie said, walking back over to our friend. “Don’t make this so hard.”
Dash’s wings flared out. “But Twilight should totally go out with Raindrops! I went through all that trouble to get her with the most awesome pony available in Ponyville. Ya know, other than me.”
“Because you’re dating me, right Dash?” Pinkie wrapped Dash up in a tight hug that I was pretty sure threatened to block off Dash’s windpipe. “And we’re so lovey-dovey and huggy-wuggy!”
“Yeah ... right Pinks,” Dash gasped out.
“I didn’t ask for any of that, Dash,” I said firmly. “Nopony asked me. How would you have felt if I did something like that to you?”
The fact nopony had even consulted me over if I was even interested in dating—which I wasn’t—was one of the bigger sticking points with me. I’m sure I was more than capable of getting a date for myself once I read some books on the subject. It couldn’t be that hard. No reason for my friends to go to such lengths for me. I wasn’t thatsocially pathetic, right?
“I think it would be awesome,” Dash said without a moment’s hesitation. It was almost as though she didn’t even think about what she was saying.
“You still need to apologize,” Pinkie stated with firmness I wasn’t use to from my hard-partying friend.
Dash groaned and applied her hoof to her face. “Okay, fine! I’m sorry ... for things.”
“What type of ‘things’?” I asked. Sure, I could have let Dash off the hook right then, but she really needed to get better at her apologies. Also, I was still pretty upset from the previous night. I’m not a perfect pony.
Dash gnashed her teeth. “For doing all that stuff without asking first.” She looked at the ground and let out a long sigh. “And for the whole not wanting you to die alone thing. That wasn’t cool.”
Now that sounded more like an apology. “I forgive you, Dash. Was that so hard?” I wasn’t exactly happy with how all my friends had treated me the night before, but I didn’t want to make it a bigger deal than it already was. Which meant I was going to have to let bygones be bygones.
“Yes,” Dash said bitterly. “So are we cool now?”
I gave Dash a smile to try and put her at ease. “Yeah, we’re cool.”
Dash let out a huff. “Finally. So, do you want to just hang out today? You should totally join us for pranking one of these days, Twilight.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, I have other things I need to take care of today.”
“So, are you really doing some big report-thingy, or is this just a really clever attempt to bang Cloud Kicker?” Pinkie asked as she rubbed her chin.
I coughed a couple of times before I could answer. “It’s an honest, straightforward report, Pinkie. I’m not doing anything other than interviewing her. And no—” I cut Pinkie off before she could say anything, “—that isn’t a euphemism for sex in any way, shape, or manner.”
Pinkie smiled one of those innocent, oblivious smiles of hers. “Okie dokie lokie then!” She pulled a wrapped candy from out of her mane. “Taffy?”
I took the offered taffy. “Sure.”
“So you're sureyou don’t want my help with your project?” Spike asked.
“I’m sure,” I said, trotting down one of Ponyville’s streets on the way to Rarity’s. Spike was perched on my back, and he was leaning around to get a better look at me. “I’ll be fine for one interview, Spike. Really, just enjoy your day collecting gems with Rarity.”
“Okay then.” Spike sounded less than convinced by my assurances. I wasn’t wild about just dumping Spike on Rarity like this, both because I didn’t like imposing on my friend and because I really was trying to do better where Spike was concerned. But I felt a lot better doing this than having Spike around when I interviewed Cloud Kicker. I didn’t even want to think about Cloud Kicker being interestingif Spike was on hoof.
I decided to change the subject to something a little happier. “So, I was thinking about going to visit Canterlot soon. You want to come? We can visit any family that’s in town.”
“Sure,” Spike said. “It’s been a while since I saw everypony. Anything else you were planning?”
I considered my answer for a moment. “Well, assuming they aren’t busy or anything, it’s always nice to see the Princesses. We can’t just bother them for personal reasons.” Princess Luna’s sociology project aside, I really had to wonder what she was thinking when she assigned me this project. “I was also hoping to do some research and pick up a few things, like the materials I need for my new summoning circle. It’s easier to just pick a lot of them up in Canterlot than it is to have them shipped to Ponyville.” I really needed to make a list for all that.
Spike gave me a hopeful smile. “Can I help?”
“I don’t see why not,” I told him. “It’d be nice to just walk around Canterlot, wouldn’t it?”
“You betcha,” he confirmed. He leaned in to whisper to me. “Can we just not buy anything ... weird, like last time? The guards were looking at us like we were about to blow up Canterlot.” I didn’t know what his problem was. Sure, a lot of the materials I had gathered were military-grade, or had other questionable uses, or could be used in combinations that were highly illegal. But just because I sometimes caused explosions, ripped holes in reality, or produced other disasters didn’t mean I didn’t know what I was doing. Sometimes things didn’t work out the way I planned. Science is volatile at times, and science must march on.
“We had perfectly legitimate reasons for having what we did,” I assured him.
Spike fixed me with an incredulous look. “Uh-huh, suuure,” Spike snarked. “I’ll remember that next time the Guard tackles me to the ground.”
I groaned irritably. “It was just the one time! You were fine. The soot marks cleaned right off your scales, and the gendarmerie only tackled us a little.”
Spike narrowed his eyes at me. “We almost went to jail.”
“Almost doesn’t count,” I said wisely. “Everything got sorted out eventually.”
“Yeah, after they figured out shackles don’t fit baby dragons so well,” Spike grumbled.
I shook my head at my assistant’s whining. “Well, we know what not to do next time, don’t we?” Not screaming in terror at one of my bags being dropped would be a good start.
“Not do anything that will make the Guard arrest us?” Spike asked sarcastically.
“Yes, Spike,” I snarked back. “That’s exactly what we should do.”
Silence fell over the two of us for a few minutes as I trotted down the street. It had long since become uncomfortable when Spike finally broke it. “So why did you leave the party early?”
I nearly stumbled, probably due to a rock that had found itself in the road. “I just felt like leaving,” I said, trying to brush the matter aside.
“You didn’t ask me if I wanted to leave with you,” Spike said dully. A pang of guilt clutched at my heart. I was afraid to look back at him to see what expression he wore on his face.
“You looked like you were enjoying yourself, and I didn’t want to disturb you.” The excuse sounded lame even to my own ears. I looked back at him with a smile intended to allay his worries, but he frowned back at me.
He stared at me for a few seconds before speaking. “Did you freak out because everypony was trying to get you a date?”
I winced at the piercing question. I had hoped that Spike hadn’t been told why that whole party had been set up, but on reflection, that had been hopelessly naive on my part. Bad enough that my friends had gotten it into their heads that I needed a special somepony, worse still that they had gotten Spike into the mess too. I decided it was best to be honest with Spike.
“It’s nothing to get worried about,” I told him. “The girls thought I needed some help getting a special somepony. They were just being silly. You know how they can get.”
“You have kinda never been on a date before, Twilight,” he teased. “Unless you’ve been holding out on me.”
“And what’s the matter if I’ve never been on a date before?” I asked, sounding more defensive than I intended to.
Spike shrugged. “I don’t know, just seems like the thing most ponies do. Don’t ya think?”
I let out an annoyed huff. Was Spike getting on my friends’ bandwagon too? That was not something I needed. “Well it’s not something I’m into. I can spend my time doing something a lot more useful than looking for a special somepony.”
I felt Spike tap his talons on my neck. “If you say so. Just saying, your friends might have a point.”
I shook my head, glad that it looked like I had put that matter to rest. “Don’t worry about it. After this weekend, things will go back to normal, and we’ll get to visit everypony in Canterlot. Just enjoy spending some time with Rarity, and get some nice gems for yourself.”
Spike licked his lips. “Mmm, Rarity and gems. That’s a combo I can enjoy.”
Spike was an easy dragon to please.
I found myself pacing about the library. Everything was as ready as it was going to be. I had done my research, conducted interviews with ponies that knew Cloud Kicker, made notes, carefully prepared questions, and had my supplies ready. Any minute now, Cloud Kicker was going to be opening that door, and we would start the interview. I stopped and tried to take a calming breath, reminding myself that I was going to get through this interview, write the report, turn it in, and get my A-plus. Just like every other report I have ever written. Nice, easy, simple.
I had gone up against monsters from the Everfree Forest, Nightmare Moon, and Discord. I was not going to let some sex-obsessed pony beat me. Some sexual innuendo was not going to be the obstacle that kept me from reaching my objective of a complete report. I knew what Cloud Kicker was all about now, and I was ready for her.
There was a knock on the door, and I jumped despite myself. I felt irritated at my overreaction. I promised I wouldn’t let Cloud Kicker get to me, and this was not a good start. I breathed in and out to calm my nerves. Reminding myself not to walk too quickly and seem impatient—no point letting the shark smell blood in the water—I walked up to the front door and opened it. On the other side, I saw Cloud Kicker giving me a big grin.
I gave her my own smile, though it didn’t feel particularly natural at the moment. “Hi, Cloud Kicker. Thanks for coming.”
She nodded to me. “Heya, Duchess.” My ear flicked at that nickname.
I stepped back and opened the door wider to let her enter the library. “You ready for our interview, then?”
“S'why I'm here.” Cloud Kicker walked into the library, and I closed the door behind her. So far so good. She might just be waiting for the right moment to strike, but she hadn’t opened up by hitting on me like I expected. According to my timetable, there was about an eighty-five percent chance she would ask to engage in intercourse within the first five minutes of the interview.
I motioned towards the library table. “Feel free to make yourself comfortable.”
“Sure.” Cloud Kicker sat down on one of the cushions I had by the table. “So, what's the deal here? Standard you ask questions, I answer them?” She fixed me with one of her typical sultry grins. “Or is this gonna be more of a hooves-on exam?”
My eyes rolled towards the ceiling. Obviously I had gotten my hopes up about her not hitting on me. The good part was that my timetable was holding up quite nicely, and I could deal with what was planned for and expected. “Just a standard series of questions. Nothing hooves-on about it,” I said with special emphasis. “Shouldn't be anything difficult. I just ask my questions—and as long as you’re comfortable with them—answer them to the best of your ability.”
“I can do that.” Her smile turned into a teasing pout. “Though I was hoping for something a bit more fun.”
“I'm afraid interviews weren't designed to be fun,” I calmly informed her. “They’re supposed to gather information from an interviewee.”
She sighed and shrugged. “Too bad. Maybe we can have fun afterwards.” I sincerely doubted that. “Got any snacks? I could use an eclair or a donut. Maybe both.”
What is sad is that I had actually foreseen her continued attempts to ruin food groups for me. I still hadn’t gone to Sugarcube Corner to shop since the eclair incident. Just looking at the store was enough to make me feel queasy now. At least I had managed to keep my composure here.
I started my way to the kitchen. “I think Spike cut up some vegetables. We also have some cookies and crackers. If you want something to drink, we have some juice and tea.”
“I'm good for now. Not really hungry,” she said dismissively. Okay, now I was sure she had done that to get a rise out of me. “Where's Spike at, anyway?”
It didn’t exactly take a mental giant to figure out what Cloud Kicker was getting at: no doubt she wanted to know if there were going to be any major obstacles to her trying to bed me. I was going to give her the benefit of the doubt that even she wouldn’t want a child to interrupt the act, if for no other reason than it would ruin the mood. An especially cynical side of me regretted sending Spike away. If he had been here, then Cloud Kicker would have been considerably restricted in what she might have been willing to pull. But, at the end of the day, I knew I had made the right decision. I could withstand Cloud Kicker’s sexual teasing, but the same teasing could scar Spike for life.
“He's at Rarity's,” I said. “They’re going out to collect some gems for her work. Since I wanted to be able to concentrate on this interview, Rarity doesn’t like digging in the dirt, and Spike always likes to have a few more gems to chew on, it all kinda worked out.”
Cloud Kicker nodded. “Plus, we don't have to worry about the baby dragon overhearing and asking questions.”
“We ... might be covering some adult topics I would prefer he not hear at this point in his life,” I acknowledged.
“Yeah, and finding ways to give good but kid-appropriate answers would be hard,” she said.
“Right, and I want to make this as scientific an interview as possible,” adding emphasis to the one word in the hopes that it would get across to Cloud Kicker I wanted to keep this professional. Most likely in vain, if I was going to be honest. “That’s why these things are usually done on a one-to-one basis.”
“Okay then.” Cloud Kicker leaned on the table. “So let’s get started.”
“Sounds good to me.” I sat down opposite of her—exactly, geometrically opposite. I levitated over the paperwork I had prepared for the interview and pulled out a pair of sheets from the pile and placed them in front of Cloud Kicker, along with a pen and inkwell. “Just need you to sign that to release this interview for the purposes of this study—both for my purposes and the university’s.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Her eyes glided over the forms, probably just to make sure there wasn’t anything objectionable in them. “Standard stuff.” She dipped the pen into the inkwell and promptly signed the forms.
I pulled the papers back over to me and looked them over to make sure everything was filled out correctly. “Alright, everything looks good.” I put the forms away in one of the sleeves of the folder I had for the project. I put the folder down on the table and faced Cloud Kicker. “Before we start, are there any topics you don't want to discuss? While this study is intended to be all-encompassing, it shouldn't make you terribly uncomfortable either.”
It was traditional to cover these types of things before an interview. There wasn’t any sense asking questions about topics an interviewee wasn’t going to answer anyways, or could even drive the interviewee to walk away from the interview. Worse, an interviewer or the institution she represented could gain a bad reputation for such conduct.
Cloud Kicker seemed to consider my question for a moment before answering. “Some Flight Camp stuff, and some secrets that aren't mine to tell. Aside from that, we should be fine.” She thought for a moment before continuing. "Fluttershy’s off-limits. Some stuff about Rainbow is sensitive, too.”
My eyebrow rose at the topics that had been restricted, but I didn’t press. Instead I just wrote down notes on a notepad. It wasn’t surprising to me that whatever had happened at Flight Camp was off-limits—frustrating to a degree, but not surprising. I just wished I could get a little more information on what happened at Flight Camp instead of everypony clamming up about it.
I also wondered what it was about Fluttershy that she specifically didn’t want to talk about? I could think of a few answers, but I didn’t have nearly enough evidence for a solid theory. I could come up with any number of scenarios for why she might not want to talk about Dash. I could only imagine the type of trouble she was capable of getting into when she was younger.
I looked over my list of interview questions, making another check to make sure they were as good as they could be. Confirming that everything was good, I cast a spell and a quill next to some ink floated up and wet itself. It then hovered over a stack of papers I had set up.
“I cast a spell that will cause this quill to record everything we say,” I explained, pointing at the now-enchanted quill.
“Hey, anything that keeps your hooves, mouth, and horn free is fine by me.” Cloud Kicker wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.
I decided to ignore her provocation. “So, how about we start with some early stuff? What can you tell me about your parents?”
“Well, they're both career Guard,” she said.
I decided I needed to clarify a bit more to get more of an answer. It would be nice to have a bit more biographical information before moving on. “Where did they both come from?”
Cloud Kicker gave me a mischievous smirk. “My grandparents, presumably.”
I sighed with exacerbation. This was going to be a long interview if she didn’t take it seriously. “Okay, so how did the two of them meet?”
“At West Hoof. They were in the same class,” she said.
Finally getting somewhere, I pressed one. “So when did they marry?”
“Pretty soon after graduation.” She gave me a questioning glance. “Didn't you interview my mom already?”
“I did,” I grumbled, remembering the less than helpful interview with the almost absurdly stoic and terse pony. I decided to avoid that issue in order to not offend Cloud Kicker. Most ponies didn’t react well to having anything bad said about their mothers.
Really, I just wanted to get some additional biographical information and see if Cloud Kicker could give any interesting new bits of information I hadn’t run across yet. From what I had read, these types of questions also helped to make an interviewee more comfortable before we got to more personal questions. “Do you know how long they were married before you were born?”
Cloud Kicker looked up as she thought the question over. “A couple years. Wanted to get settled in before they tried for a foal. I was born at the Guard hospital in Canterlot.”
I double-checked to make sure that my transcription spell was working before continuing. We were going to start to get to some of the more interesting questions, and I didn’t want to lose anything.
Seeing that the spell had written everything said during the conversation, I turned back to Cloud Kicker. “Any fond memories from your early childhood?”
“The usual stuff,” she said. “Hanging out with parents and such. It was pretty cool to do some training with them. Mom and Dad were always taking a bit of time to teach me stuff that would be helpful in the Guard, like how to use a pair of wingblades.” She smiled serenely. “It wasn’t easy, but those are some of my best memories.”
I marked down some notes on that and regretted how I couldn’t get Nimbus to be a more cooperative interview subject. Still, I had gotten Cloud Kicker to open up a bit. “How would you describe your family?”
“I...” Cloud Kicker paused for a moment before shrugging. “They're family. We can be a bit closed-off at times, but we know what's important.”
The manner in which she had answered piqued my curiosity, and so I decided to ask a follow up question. “Closed off? In what manner?”
“We don't go for the whole hugs and kisses thing,” she said impassively.
“Any reason for that?” I asked, pushing the line of questioning.
She gave my question a shrug. “It's just how they work. Our clan kinda sticks to the old ways ... like being a clan at all.”
The Kicker Clan was notable for being the last of the pegasus clans, dating back all the way to old Pegasopolis, the rest having been disbanded at the end of the Lunar Rebellion nine centuries ago. I knew from my own interactions with Kickers in the Guard that they could be sticklers for tradition and old ways of doing things. They had adapted somewhat to changes over the centuries, but they had struck pretty rigidly to at least a sense of stoicism and austerity. It seemed that those traditions extended to the treatment of their children as well.
I thought that would make for a good opportunity to transition to one of the other questions on my list. I didn’t like deviating from the ordering of my list, in fact, it made me cringe inside, but you had to be at least somewhat adaptable when conducting an interview. “What's it like being a member of the Kicker Clan?”
There was a long pause before Cloud Kicker finally answered. “I wouldn't trade it for anything.”
Given the far-off look Cloud Kicker was giving, I was guessing she was reminiscing on her clan. I would have liked a bit more elaboration on one of the more unique families in Equestria, and this struck me as the perfect time to gather more information. “What's it like growing up being a Kicker?”
“Well, you get a lot more combat training than the average filly,” Cloud Kicker offered. “We're not crazy about it or anything, but I got a couple hours of training a week from pretty early on.”
I leaned towards my interviewee, my interest piqued at this line of questions. “Anything else noteworthy about growing up as a Kicker? It is a pretty well-known family.”
Cloud Kicker crossed her forelegs over her chest and looked up at the ceiling while she thought. “Well, it's kinda assumed you're going into the Guard.”
I made some more notes, making sure to do some research on the Kicker Clan. The topic was starting to catch my interest. So much to read, so little time. “Is it generally expected for everypony in your clan to join the Guard?”
She nodded. “Pretty much, at least for one tour. It's not a bad deal; ponies who wanna start a business or something instead of being career Guard just do their four years, then use their saved up pay as startup money.”
I made sure to write down to look that up someday. It sounded like something that would be interesting to research. I wondered if I could make studying the Kicker Clan one of my study projects in the near future.
Alas, I needed to move on with my interview if I were to finish it before it became unpleasant. I looked down my list of questions to see where I was at. “Okay, so, do you have any siblings?” I, of course, knew the answer to this question, but it was considered the norm for an interview to ask questions as though you didn’t know the answer.
“I have a little sister named Alula,” Cloud Kicker said. “My cousins Storm and Star are kinda like that, too.”
I double checked my notes on Cloud Kicker’s family to double check I remembered her relations to Storm and Star. “Those are your cousins, right?”
“Yeah, I'm kinda like their big sister substitute and role model.” Cloud Kicker put on a big, goofy grin and chuckled. “I'm their role model, Celestia help them.”
One of my eyebrows cocked at the idea of Cloud Kicker being a role model for anypony. I had to bite back my first response and think for a moment to think of a more neutral manner to ask my question. “How did that come about?”
“The way it usually does. I was the cool, older kid,” she said.
I was afraid to think about how her cousins had turned out, and there wasn’t exactly a tactful way to ask ‘Did you end up turning your cousins into sexual deviants too?’ I could have asked more about her cousins, but I was disinclined to do so considering I wanted to get the information I needed to complete this project and finish it. That attitude, in turn, galled me; I had never cut corners like that before. I decided to just move on with my pre-planned line of questions. That was the safe path and would get me everything I needed. If I absolutely needed to, I could just meet with Cloud Kicker again. As much as I didn’t like that idea.
I rechecked the wording I had for my next question. “How would you describe your relationship with Alula?”
Cloud Kicker’s lips upturned into a gentle smile. “About normal for a big sis and little sis, I guess.”
I felt a pang over what it would have been like to have a little sister. I had to admit to being a little bit jealous of my friends Rarity and Applejack. Sparkler too for that matter. They each had their own little sisters to interact with, each with their own unique and wonderful dynamics. It was a shame that was never going to be something I was ever going to experience.
Cloud Kicker looking at me with a worried frown. “Everything okay?”
“It’s nothing, really.” I shook my head, a motion as much to shake old thoughts out of my head as a motion meant for Cloud Kicker. She looked like she was about to say something else when I cut her off. “Moving on. You said you were born in Canterlot. Did you live your entire childhood there?”
Cloud Kicker stared at me for a long moment that made me uncomfortable before finally speaking. “Nah, we moved around. Guard life and all that.”
I knew a good bit about that based on my big brother’s lifestyle. Shining was always moving to some new place in Equestria on one assignment or another. It had certainly made it harder to meet with him on occasion. His traveling demands had only increased since becoming Captain of the Royal Guard.
“How did that affect your life?” I asked.
She gave me a noncommittal shrug. “It was life.”
And another frustratingly terse answer from Cloud Kicker. I was beginning to worry I was going to have to pull out the metaphorical pliers to pull some real answers from her. This was not when I wanted the Kickers’ legendary stoicism to kick into effect.
I decided to press with another question to try and get Cloud Kicker to open up. “What were some of the places you lived?”
Cloud Kicker tapped at the top of the desk as she thought the question over. “Las Pegasus, Manehatten, Fillydelphia ... all over, really. Probably why I didn't end up with a Canterlot accent.”
“Where does your family live now?” I continued with the line of questions.
I sensed Cloud Kicker’s mood sour at the question. “Dad's in Canterlot, Mom's here.”
That struck me as a bit odd. “Is it normal for your parents to live separately?”
“No,” she said tersely, giving me the impression that she did not want to talk anymore about that. Was Cloud Kicker’s family having problems? I decided to see if I could subtly find out more.
“That just a temporary thing because of their duties to the Guard, then?”
There was a moment of silence between us, all of Cloud Kicker’s usual cheer and humor gone. “No comment.”
“Oookay then, moving on.” It seemed that Cloud Kicker wasn’t particularly wild about talking about certain aspects of her childhood and family. Unfortunately, there weren’t many ways I could make her talk about it against her will. It was probably best to go to my next group of questions—though now that I looked at them, it didn’t look like I was going to instantly move back into Cloud Kicker’s good graces. “So what was Flight Camp like?”
She ran a hoof through her mane and sighed. “Less than great. From what Rainbow tells me, you probably did your research.”
I thought of a neutral manner to express what I had discovered. It wouldn’t do for the interviewer to become too much of a factor in the interview. “I did find out that Flight Camp had been improperly managed during the year you were there.”
“Yeah,” was all she offered.
I rubbed the side of my head, trying to fight off a headache. “So that’s when you first met Rainbow Dash, right?”
Cloud Kicker gave a slight smile. “Yep, she’s the reason I moved out to Ponyville.”
I cocked an eyebrow at that answer. I knew she and Rainbow Dash were friends, but that didn’t sound like the basis for suddenly picking up and moving to a new town. I mean, sure, my moving to Ponyville hadn’t been expected on my part, but there were saving the world factors involved. “That was your sole reason for moving to Ponyville?”
Cloud Kicker cracked the barest smile. “Main reason I picked Ponyville, yeah.”
“Why not anywhere else, then?” I asked, a bit of a growl finding its way into the question. Did I have to beat her over the head with questions to keep from getting terse answers? I just wanted her to elaborate a little bit more.
She hesitated for a moment before answering. “Why go somewhere else when my PFF lived here?” I had to wonder why indeed? That answer sounded elusive to me.
I decided to be more direct in my questioning. Having open-ended questions had just let Cloud Kicker squirm out of them. “I’m sure there were other places you could have gone. You must have had other friends and family.”
“Dash has always been one of my best friends,” she said with a hint of annoyance. “She was there for me when I was going through a rough time.” An image of Cloud Kicker getting ‘help’ from one of my friends flashed in my brain. It was not an image I liked, not at all.
“And why would Rainbow Dash be a friend of yours?” My tone sounded more condescending than I intended, but I was starting to wonder if I even cared. Cloud Kicker was getting more under my skin by the minute.
One of Cloud Kicker’s ears flicked. “You alright there, Twilight? You seem kinda stressed.”
“I’m fine,” I growled. “Let’s just continue.” In my frustration, I had lost my place and started scanning my questions to find my place again, determined not to let Cloud Kicker derail the interview.
Cloud Kicker leaned forward against the table and smiled invitingly. “Come on, Duchess, we don’t need to ram our way through this. We can enjoy ourselves, you know.”
“I just want to get through this,” I said tersely. The type of enjoyment she was no doubt thinking about wouldn’t help with our forward progression for this interview.
“You know what they say about all work and no play,” she teased.
“I’m not interesting in ‘playing’ with you.” The harsh words came out before I thought about them.
Cloud Kicker flinched at that remark. “Okay, now I know we need to take a break. No offense, but you’ve been irritable and twitchy since I got here.”
“I told you, I’m fine!” I put my questions down on the table—more like slammed. “I just want to get through this interview, finish this report, and put this behind me.”
Cloud Kicker leaned away from me and seemed to study me for a moment. “You don’t look like you’re enjoying this. And the way Dash makes it sound, you love this type of thing. What gives?”
“Whether I’m enjoying this or not isn’t important,” I hissed. “Can we just proceed. And not have to worry about how much I’m enjoying this or not?” I let out a huff and went back to looking at my questions. “Also, it would be nice if you elaborated more on your answers now and again.”
Cloud Kicker stood up, and I felt a brief moment of panic as I wondered if she was going to call the interview off. “Look, it’s clear you're upset. Maybe we just got off on the wrong hoof?” She flashed me a smile. “How about we just head out and get some dinner? We can relax for an hour, get to know each other, and then hit this up fresh.”
“I’m not hungry.” It wasn’t hard to figure out what Cloud Kicker meant by wanting to get to know me, given how she had treated me thus far.
Cloud Kicker waved a hoof at the walls. “Then how about we just hang out here?” She gave me a sultry smirk. “I know some great massage techniques that would help you relax.”
I’d had enough of where this was going. I determined that the only way I was going to get Cloud Kicker to stop was to be direct with her. I couldn’t think of any other way we were going to continue with the interview other than putting my hoof down.
“I’m not interested in ‘banging’ you, okay?” I said, irritation and anger coating the words.
Cloud Kicker took a step back. “Oookay, you just had to say so. Really, if I'm making you uncomfortable, you just needed to say so, and I’ll stop.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure.”
She scowled at my sarcastic reply. “Hey, I’m serious, Duchess. You have a right to not feel uncomfortable because of me. That’s not how I do things.”
I snorted. “And how do you explain how you treat Blossomforth? Every time I see you two together, you are driving her into a fit with your teasing.”
I saw the barest flinch cross Cloud Kicker’s face. “That’s because she likes the teasing. She’s my best friend, and I stop when it looks like I’m pushing it too far.”
“Seem like that’s all the time given how embarrassed she always is around you,” I sneered.
Cloud Kicker slammed her forehooves on the table. “Hey! She’s my best friend. I would never hurt her.”
“If you say so,” my lack of conviction at Cloud Kicker’s assertions clear.
She drew in a long breath and rubbed at her forehead. “I don’t get it. When I asked Dash, she said you had thick skin, and that you’re always being sarcastic. I thought my teasing wasn’t really bothering you.”
“Well it did,” I told her. “Every time I’ve interacted with you was an exercise in humiliation and pain.”
She gave me a pleading look. “I had no idea I was upsetting you. I figured you were just being your usual smartflank self. You reminded me of Blossom. You know? Acting embarrassed but still being sarcastic and witty. Most ponies tell me right away when they’re uncomfortable or just avoid me. I didn’t see why it would be any different with you.”
“Well I got this project to do for starters.” I stomped a hoof on the ground. “I can’t just give up or risk failing. I’ve never failed anything, ever.” Hay, I got myself sent to the hospital multiple times trying to study Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense. Compared to that research project, I had gotten off pretty light in the physical punishment department.
Cloud Kicker walked up to me and gave me a serious look. “Really, just ask and I’ll stop the teasing. It’s that easy.”
I let out an exasperated groan. Did she really expect me to believe all that? “Sorry, but I’m not used to bullies stopping just because I ask nicely.”
Cloud Kicker’s ears wilted. “You ... think I’m a bully?” She sounded shocked that I would use that word to describe her.
“Well...” I thought over my words carefully, putting together a logical and neutral argument. “You make me uncomfortable, you make unwanted sexual comments towards me, and you embarrass me in front of other ponies. So ... yeah, I kinda think of you as a bully.”
“Oh...” Cloud Kicker’s head drooped towards the floor. “I’m sorry, then.” She looked away from me. “Look, I’ll ... call it off.”
One of my eyebrows cocked up at that. “Wait, what do you mean ‘call it off’?”
Cloud Kicker scuffed her hoof along the floor. “I agreed to the research thing to earn a few bits and have some fun, not to hurt your feelings. Nopony deserves to feel like they’re being bullied. So I’m going to return the bits and tell the school that I’m not doing it anymore due to personal reasons.”
I stood up from my seat, almost stumbling due to the shock of what I was hearing. “Wait, no! You can’t do that—my grade!” Naturally, my grades were the first objection that came to mind. This was quickly spinning out of control. I’d never failed a project. Ever.
Cloud Kicker put up a hoof to me. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve heard how important your grades are to you. I’ll explain to them that this was all on me and tell them that you did everything you were supposed to be doing and that I had to stop due to circumstances beyond your control. None of this has to splash on you.”
For a long moment I wasn’t sure how best to reply to that. This whole project was going to be over, just like that? Part of me relished the idea of no longer having to deal with Cloud Kicker. She was giving me a pretty solid way out of this whole mess. One that should keep me from getting into trouble with Princess Luna or anypony else.
That didn’t keep me from feeling like I had done something wrong. Cloud Kicker looked absolutely miserable, with her ears flat on her head and her gaze failing to meet mine. Had I actually hurt her feelings? Was that possible? I hadn’t seen anything really bother her until today. This behavior was significantly different than what I had come to expect from this pony.
Cloud Kicker walked towards the door, and I was seized by a need to know what was going on here. I ran in front of her to block her way. “Wait, just a couple more questions. Please.”
She shook her head at me. “Really, Twilight. It’s fine. You don’t like me, and I get that. No need to put yourself in a situation you’re uncomfortable with.” She flashed me a strained smile. “I won’t even come around the library anymore. If I really need a book, I’m sure Blossom will be willing to pick it up for me.”
I had to move back in front of Cloud Kicker as she tried to get around me. “No, I mean—” I groaned with frustration. “Look, put aside the research project. I just need to know, were you being honest about the thing about stopping if I asked?”
Cloud Kicker nodded slowly. “Yeah, I know where the line is.”
She had finally stopped trying to get to the door. “And you really didn’t mean to hurt my feelings? Even with all the teasing?”
“Of course not.” She shook her head. “I just do it for fun. A lot of my friends like it, either as complements or because they think it’s funny. I’d never do it to hurt anypony.”
The ridges of my eyebrows scrunched up. “Wait, they find that fun? You’re honestly saying that ponies like being teased by you?”
I saw a grin returning to her mouth. “You’re telling me that you and your best friends don’t tease one another?”
I thought that over for a second before answer. “Um, no, not really. I mean Dash and Applejack can be a bit competitive. There are also Pinkie and Dash’s pranks, but those are nothing like what you do.”
“Well there’s your problem.” She gave me a friendly jab to the shoulder. “You don’t understand how great friends work. A good friend will help another get up when they fall down; a great friend will laugh at them.”
I narrowed my eyes skeptically. “That doesn’t make sense.” I shook my head, feeling my anger rise once again over that last comment. “Are you saying I don’t even know how friendship works. I’ve spent the better part of two years now studying friendship? I think I would know whether I have good friends or not.”
Cloud Kicker looked away from me and scuffed her hoof on the floor. “Sorry, that didn’t come out the way I meant it to.” She looked at me with an apologetic smile. “I mean you and your friends have been running around blasting things with weaponized friendship. Of course you know what true friendship is. Once again, I’m sorry.”
I groaned and found myself looking up at the bookshelves. “Fine, apology accepted.”
She let out a relieved sigh. “Okay, what I really meant was that there are different kinds of friendship. How you interact with your friends differs with each one, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, that’s true enough.”
“And how I interact with some of my friends is different then how you hang out with your friends.” She flashed me a grin that bordered on predatory. “Look, I’ll show you. Let’s have a mares’ night out. We can go out and get something to eat and drink, do some socializing. You know, just have fun as a couple of friends.”
I gave her a scowl. “I told you I don’t want to do ... that with you.”
She shook hoof to dismiss the idea. “Forget about banging. This is just some basic, friendly hanging out. We only go as far as you are comfortable with. Though if you do want to have a bang later that night...”
“Which I don’t,” I said firmly.
She shrugged, though she was still wearing that grin of hers. “If you say so. No means no after all. The offer is still going to be on the table, though. But I’d be fine if we just hang out too. I’m not just all about banging, you know.”
I could hardly believe I was actually considering this. Unfortunately, the fact of the matter was that I didn’t want to fail at this project. Even if I wouldn’t get into trouble for it. On some level, I knew I had failed in my assignment. Plus, at the end of the day, I believed in giving a pony a second chance. It was possible I had misjudged Cloud Kicker. Shouldn’t I give her another chance if she was sorry about her behavior earlier? At the very least I would end up guilt-free if Cloud Kicker proved to be as terrible as I thought she was during what was supposed to be a friendly dinner.
“And the sociology project?” I asked.
“If the mares’ night out works, then sure, we can keep it up if you like,” Cloud Kicker said.
I considered that for a moment to see if there was some sort of drawback I wasn’t seeing. “So we just hang out somewhere for a couple of hours? That’s it?”
“Yeah, and have a fun time.” Cloud Kicker leaned in a bit closer than I liked. “Though like I said, if you want to do more later, then I won’t say no.” She must have noticed the skeptical look I was giving her, because she moved back out of my personal space. “Seriously, this isn’t a trick, Duchess. You determine how far you want to go in any of this. All I’m asking for is a meal.”
I ran my hoof through my mane as I made my final decision. “Okay, sure. I’ll give you a second chance. But I don’t want you hitting on me the entire time. It’s just going to make me unhappy anyways.”
She gave me a slackened salute. “Sounds like a deal. So how does tomorrow evening sound?”
I cast a spell to retrieve my schedule and reviewed it. “Um, I guess I can work it in without any major issues.” I had slated that time to start writing the report, but it looked liked that had been derailed for now. “You want to meet here?”
Cloud Kicked smiled and nodded. “That should work.” She started towards the door. “See you then, Duchess.”
“Yeah, see you then,” I said, watching as Cloud Kicker opened the door to leave the library.
I am not a perfect pony. I make mistakes. Those are two facts that mildly terrify me.
I do everything I can to prevent myself from making mistakes. Whenever possible, I study, I plan, I prepare, and I think an action through before committing. It’s better that way. Some ponies can afford to be spontaneous, for the consequences of their actions do not lend themselves towards catastrophes. While Pinkie’s actions can rarely be predicted with any certainty, her randomness is rarely an object of concern.
That is not the case with myself. When I make a mistake, it tends to result in Bad Things happening. You see, I think ponies should fear the mistakes of a smart pony more than a dumb pony. There are a couple of reasons for this. The first is imagination. From personal experience, a smart pony is simply going to be more capable of imagining greater disasters than a less capable pony. I know how the mechanics of the universe work, how to bend the forces of the universe to my will, to do things most other ponies can’t even imagine. All it takes is one miscalculation, one misjudgement, one hasty or bad decision on my part to create a disaster. Under the stress of a parasprite infestation eating all the food in Ponyville, I attempted to create a spell on the fly to make them stop eating the food. All my spell did was cause the parasprites to eat everything that wasn’t food and all but destroy Ponyville in the process. Not many ponies can screw up by the numbers like that.
The second reason I fear the smart pony more is because the smart pony is more likely to be given responsibility, power. Ponies are far more willing to give power to a pony who they perceive as smart, knowledgeable, or wise. They always seem to come to me for help with their problems; either because of my intelligence, magical aptitude, or connections and influence, the ponies of Ponyville make me among the first ponies they come to for help. Ponies want answers to their problems—it’s only natural. They want wisdom, a quick fix, or an application of power to solve the problems of their lives. I get asked for help from everything from the relatively minor and mundane like helping with friendship problems, help with learning a spell, and or helping with a school talent show, to major and serious issues like a ursa minor or dragon attack. If there is a crisis in Ponyville, I am usually the first pony everypony comes to.
When you think about it, that’s a lot of pressure to put on one pony. It is not a responsibility I shy away from, but it does weigh heavily upon me when I reflect on it. At my word, I got the ponies of Ponyville to help me disaster proof the town based on my vague assertions that “some disaster was going to happen in a week’s time.” With but a word, I had motivated the entire town, all because they trusted my judgement. But if I misjudge, if I miscalculate, if I make a mistake, then the consequences could be dire. I could hurt the ponies around me, such as when I overpowered a Want It, Need It spell and caused half of Ponyville to get into an open brawl because I panicked over the idea of not turning in one of my friendship reports on time.
I am not a perfect pony. I make mistakes. Those two facts scare me.
That is perhaps why I worry so much about making the tiniest mistake and why I am so conscious about the possibility I could be in error. I have so much to lose now, the respect of the ponies around me, my place in Ponyville, and my great friends.
Thus, I am nagged by doubts about how I had conducted my interview with Cloud Kicker. On the surface, I found Cloud Kicker to be a reprehensible pony. Her attitude and mannerisms annoyed me to no end, and out of every interaction I’d had with her, I hadn’t found a single thing I liked about her. I didn’t like how she treated her friends, I didn’t like how she took every opportunity to make her unwanted advances towards me, and things like her abandonment of family responsibilities grated against me. In the end, I hadn’t even gotten through a third of my questions before my interview with her had broken down.
It was only then I had seen a different side to Cloud Kicker. She had been so relentless in her nymphomania that I’d been surprised that she apparently hadn’t gotten into significant trouble for it in the past. But the moment I called her a bully, her demeanor had changed. Just like that, it seemed I had taken all the wind out of her sails. All my sarcasm and aloofness had not affected her in the least, but one word had nearly brought my research project to an end.
I began to wonder if I did not understand my research subject as well as I thought I had. I would be the first to admit that I’m not the most socially savvy pony out there. In our many lessons together, Princess Celestia warned me about being too quick to judge a pony. Ponies are often far more complex than they may seem on the surface. In many ways, our interactions with a pony only make for a snapshot of their lives. The briefest moment of a continued existence and experiences that been going on for years.
I am reminded of the stories I had read from a first-pony perspective. It always struck me as interesting how much a reader’s views could be changed just based on which character they were following at the time. Throw a warrior, a poet, a healer, and a craftsmare into a scene, and you will get four different viewpoints on what happened. Even exactly what each pony thinks happened could skew wildly based on each pony’s experiences, knowledge, and personal temperament. It’s fascinating in its own right, and I can’t help but feel there is something to be learned from it.
My first impressions of my very best friends had not been very good: Applejack had come across as a pushy farmpony who met nearly every stereotype I had for the typical earth pony farmer. Rainbow Dash had struck me as a brash, arrogant, and annoying braggart who needed to concentrate on doing her job. Rarity’s seeming obsession with fashion caused me to think of her as yet another shallow and frivolous pony typical of some social circles in Canterlot. Fluttershy’s shyness had made me, a pony whose only friend had been her bigger brother up to that point in her life, feel downright sociable in comparison. Finally, Pinkie’s behavior made me think of her as a manic, invasive, and party-obsessed pony. Well, she is all those things, but—look, I get along with her too.
While my friends aren’t perfect—and who is—they are among the most wonderful ponies I have ever known. I now love them as friends, and yet I had thought so poorly of them my first day in Ponyville. It makes me feel guilty, now that I reflect on it.
How easy would it be for me to make the same mistake with another pony? Could a few bad first impressions give me the wrong idea about a pony? It was possible. There were certainly ponies who seemed to think well of Cloud Kicker, like Rainbow Dash, Derpy, and Blossomforth. On the other hoof, I could just be opening myself up for more embarrassment and humiliation from a pony who had done nothing but confound me since I met her.
And she had hurt me, there no question about that. I had been humiliated, insulted, and embarrassed to no end. On the other hoof, she seemed legitimately sorry for her behavior earlier. I really was not quite sure how to quantify these two different sides to Cloud Kicker. It would be so much simpler if I could just zap Cloud Kicker with a magical rainbow of weaponized friendship. It did wonders for Princess Luna.
Either way, I can’t think of a way to get to the bottom of this quandary without interacting more with Cloud Kicker, Princesses help me. Though, on reflection, it was one of the Princesses’ fault I was even in this situation.
Curse my instinctual need to please royalty.
I heard the expected knock on my front door. Funny how a day spent cleaning and refurbishing a basement after an explosion can fly by. I tried to put the memories of the interview of the previous evening out of my mind, but they kept coming back to my thoughts throughout the day. From there I couldn’t help but go into a continual cycle of analysis until I drove myself halfway crazy second-guessing Cloud Kicker, myself, and my actions. It had made for a day that much more stressful than it should have been.
I did my best to put on a friendly smile and opened the door.
Cloud Kicker flashed me a grin. “Heya, Duchess! Ready to head out?”
“I guess so,” I tried to say in a friendly manner, but it came across as stilted even to my ears.
She waved a hoof for me to come outside. “Hey, relax. We’re just having a friendly night out.”
I couldn’t help but give her a scrutinizing look as I walked through the doorway. I still couldn’t shake the feeling this was all one elaborate attempt to get me into a bed with her. “Right ... friendly.”
“Don’t be like that.” Cloud Kicker seemed to have regained her normally jovial spirit since the interview. “Let’s put the past few days behind us and enjoy tonight.”
“Right, just a friendly and casual get together,” I said, as much to convince myself as anypony else.
“That’s the spirit.” She gave me a friendly slap on the back. “And I have to say, you’re looking nice tonight.” I gave her a glower for the slap on the back and comment. Her smile became more strained. “Nothing wrong with just saying you look attractive, is there?”
I rolled my eyes. “I guess not.” I reminded myself to not presuppose Cloud Kicker’s intentions with a fairly innocuous compliment. No sense getting off on the wrong hoof right out the gate. Though I couldn’t help but feel we were off to a bad start given Cloud Kicker hadn’t gone five minutes into our conversation without flirting.
“Great!” Cloud Kicker waved for me to follow her. “Come on, I got just the place for us to go to.”
I walked next to her as she guided me to our destination. “Where are we heading?”
Cloud Kicker gave me one of those grins of hers that I associated with nothing good happening.
Cloud Kicker swung open the door to the tavern with a flourish. As before, the Sun’s Flank gave off a friendly, though subdued, mood with its dark, wood furniture, small dance floor, and bar. Mares milled about, usually in pairs, with a couple larger groups in the booths or gathered around a table.
“Well, here we are, Twilight! The Sun's Flank, best little hangout spot in all of Ponyville. Good food, good drinks, and all the hot plot a pony could ask for.” She grinned at me and tossed a wing across my shoulders. “And this time you can actually enjoy the atmosphere instead of spying on me.”
I jerked slightly at the unexpected touch. “Um, right. Sounds good. I guess I can give it a second shot.” I gave her a smile I hoped didn’t betray too much of my discomfort. Part of me couldn’t believe that she had brought me to this place of all places for out mare’s night out. This place only held bad memories for me after the last, and only time, I had been here. Cloud Kicker had done a pretty thorough job of humiliating me after my failed attempt at follow her without being noticed. The fact it was a fillyfooler bar didn’t help with my level of discomfort. I really had to wonder what was going on between Cloud Kicker’s ears, besides the thoughts of having intercourse.
Cloud Kicker gave an awkward shuffle and removed her wing. “Right, maybe I better tone it down a bit. Sorry, Twilight.” She gave me a reassuring smile. “So, let's keep things nice and friendly.”
I firmly nodded. “Right, I would like that.” Okay, so it could be a solid chance that Cloud Kicker really was trying to rein it in. It was perfectly possible she had chosen an establishment that she felt comfortable at without really thinking how it would affect me. Still, it brought up another issue that made me uncomfortable, and I gave her a serious look. “Also, can you not encourage other ponies to hit on me? I remember last time when you were here with Blossomforth, and...”
Cloud Kicker shrugged. “If that’s what you want.” She gave me a teasing smirk and nudged me in the shoulder. “Though if you change your mind and want a wingmare to help you out, just say the word. Although I can’t promise other ponies won’t get their own ideas and try their pickup lines on you.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, the words cool. It was an offer I had no intention of taking up. I had enough to worry about tonight without adding something like courtship to the mix. At least it seemed that she wasn’t going to encourage other ponies trying to flirt with me.
Cloud Kicker waved at a light green mare sipping a drink at the bar. “Yo, Harpflank.” She stepped up to the mare, and I followed. I vaguely remembered the mare from somewhere, but I couldn’t immediately recall from where. I was going to go out on a limb and say this was probably one of Cloud Kicker’s banging buddies. Given Cloud Kicker evidence seemed to support that she has had sexual encounters with a significant percentage of the adult population of Ponyville, anypony she was friendly with probably lied without that section of the population.
The mare turned on her barstool and flashed Cloud Kicker a smile. “Oh, hi, Kicky!” She gave me a scrutinizing stare. “And ... Twilight?”
“Yep.” I offered her a hoof. “My name is Twilight, Twilight Sparkle.”
She smiled and accepted the hoofshake. “Oh, I already know who you are. Who doesn't? I just didn't expect you in here, that's all.”
I stared at the mare for a second before I finally recalled where I had seen her. “Right, I've seen you around town. Playing the lyre, I believe.” I double-checked to confirm that her cutie mark was indeed a lyre. “And I’m going to guess that ‘Harpflank’ isn’t your actual name, given that’s a lyre for your cutie mark. Miss...?” Harpflank must have been Cloud Kicker’s nickname for her. Cloud Kicker seemed to have one for everypony. Maybe that was something I should ask her about later?
“No need to call me Miss,” the minty mare said. “Just ‘Lyra’ will do.”
I nodded. “Lyra, then.”
Cloud Kicker nudged me with an elbow. “Yeah, Twilight and I are just hanging out for a bit. Not as a preliminary to banging, before you ask.”
The mare tipped her glass towards the two of us. “I was going to say... But fair enough!”
I winced slightly as I realized what it must have looked like given the two of us had entered the Sun’s Flank—especially considering Cloud Kicker’s reputation. I really hoped my friends wouldn’t hear about this and get the wrong idea. That was probably impossible upon reflection. Everypony seemed to know everything about everypony else in a town like Ponyville. At least my friends knew about my study project, but still... “Yes, we have no plans to engage in ... that. Just a totally platonic hanging out.”
Cloud Kicker leaned up against the bar next to Lyra. “Yup. Totally platonic. Not that I'd mind if we changed that, but that would be entirely in her court.”
“Aaand I have no plans ... on doing that ... with Cloud Kicker, at all, or anypony.” My ears flattened as I realized how negative that must have sounded. While she was leaving open that door, probably for her own gratification, she had just said she was willing to let this get-together be casual. I gave Cloud Kicker a sheepish smile. “Um, no offense.”
Cloud Kicker waved off my comment. “None taken. Just saying, you're nice and cute.” She grinned at Lyra. “Wouldn’t you agree?”
Lyra gave me the once over with her eyes, making me feel slightly uncomfortable. “Hm, you're right about that.” She gave Cloud Kicker a grin. “But I doubt she has much stamina.” I was mildly irritated on the comment about my perceived stamina.
Cloud Kicker rolled her eyes. “Oh, be nice, Lyra.”
Lyra snorted derisively. “I'm just teasing. Don't worry about it.”
I couldn’t help but do a slight frown. “Err, that’s alright. I think.”
I looked around the Sun’s Flank. “Perhaps we should get a table, then?”
“Yeah, sure.” Cloud Kicker pointed to a nice, little corner booth. “Over there work?”
I nodded. “Looks good to me.”
Lyra shuffled on her barstool and looked between the two of us. “Er, am I intruding on your time together?”
“I don't mind having you along.” Cloud Kicker looked to me. “But it's up to Twilight.”
I tilted my head as I looked back at Cloud Kicker. “I don’t think we had any specific plans on how this was supposed to go.” I shrugged. “I don't really see a problem with it. We’re just having a friendly night out.”
“No real plan beyond just hanging out and having a good time,” Cloud Kicker confirmed. “Another friend helps with that.”
I couldn’t find any fault with her logic. Plus, having another pony around would keep this from feeling like a date, which this certainly wasn’t. “Sounds good then.”
Lyra’s mouth curved into a bright smile. “Cool, thanks! Drinking by yourself does tend to get boring after a while...” Her smile became more brittle.
“Yeah, kinda does.” Cloud Kicker wrapped a wing around Lyra and lead us towards the booth. “Come on, you goof. Let’s hang out.”
“I take it you didn't have any plans for the evening?” I asked Lyra while we made our way to the booth. She shook her head in response, and I got the sense from the way she didn’t look at me that she didn’t want to talk about it. Perhaps she had a rough day?
We all sat down at the booth, it was one of the ones in the corner of the restaurant and the seating was one long, round cushion that ran around the table. Lyra scooted in first, with Cloud Kicker sitting between us, and me last. Cloud Kicker signaled to the waitress and then looked to me while the waitress made her way to our table. “What do you want to drink?” She paused for a moment, looking like she was considering something. “What canyou have, anyway? I mean, Rainbow Dash says you're a pretty big magical powerhouse...”
“Err, not much really,” I said, trying to make myself comfortable in my seat. “I don't drink out of habit. Never really had anything more than a glass of anything.”
Cloud Kicker cleared her throat. “Sorry to pry, but are you an Alpha?”
“Alpha-Plus, actually,” I mumbled, feeling a bit of a blush coming on. There were only a small hoofful of Alphas—the most powerful class of unicorns—at any given time. Even rarer were those unicorns who were a cut above the other Alphas—the Alpha-Pluses. I had a couple of ancestors who were really close to that rank, but didn’t quite get classified at that level. I’m the first one in a thousand years. Yay for me. That was one of the reasons why I didn’t go around advertising just how strong I was. Knowing there was an Alpha next door could make some ponies uncomfortable. A normal Alpha, or potentially even a Beta, could do some pretty frightful things if they put their mind to it. It was even worse for an Alpha-Pluses, considering their scary reputation in history, and there had been more than one that had been a verifiable nightmare. It was better just to seem normal and relatively uninteresting.
“Yeah, just wondering if ... y'know, the whole law about Alpha-levels and stuff. I mean, it's kinda rude to just outright ask how strong a unicorn's magic is, but...” It was normally socially taboo to ask or really talk about a unicorn’s magic level. For those unicorns of a lower rank such as an Epsilon, talking about how powerful they were was the equivalent of talking about a disability. For magically powerful unicorns such as myself, it can be seen as bragging or could potentially scare those around you for the aforementioned reasons. I didn’t really like talking about my magic level as a result. It had been more than a little scary for me to show what I could do during the ursa minor attack.
Beyond which, there were a number of laws and regulations where Alphas and other highly ranked unicorns such as myself were concerned. I could get in a lot of trouble if I were to become the least bit intoxicated, for instance. Go figure, ponies got a bit worried when the judgement of a unicorn with my level of magical muscle became impaired because of alcohol. I can’t say I blame them.
I shook my head to try and reassure Cloud Kicker. “It’s okay. I know you just wanted to know how much I’m allowed to drink. It would be a bad idea for me to get drunk. No sense courting some sort of disaster like me suddenly thinking it would be funny turn everypony into sheep or ripping a hole in reality.” I let out a strained chuckle.
Cloud Kicker nodded and turned to Lyra, who seemed busy staring at the top of the table. “So yeah, let's make sure Twilight doesn't get blitzed or anything. Just a little pleasantly buzzed.” She tossed a wing around Lyra to pull her closer. “So what're you drinking, Lyra?”
Lyra shrugged, still looking down at the table. “Just some cider. For now, that is.”
Cloud Kicker signaled to the waitress. “Let's go for a round of hard ciders for everypony, then.”
“I guess some cider will be okay?” I gave Cloud Kicker and Lyra a questioning look. “I don't really know my drinks. I mean, I can list off different types of drinks, where they are produced, and various other facts and figures, but I’m no connoisseur.”
Lyra nodded to me. “Cider is a pretty good start. It isn't very strong in comparison to other stuff.”
The waitress stepped up to our table, and Cloud Kicker ordered a round of cider for us. She turned back to the rest of us before speaking. “You didn't have any trouble with Applejack's stuff, so you should be okay.”
I rubbed my chin as I considered that. “A mug of Applejack's cider wasn't too bad,” I had to admit. I felt a bit of relief as I remembered drinking at Sweet Apple Acres during cider season. “Though I didn't drink nearly as much as Pinkie did. She must have a crazy tolerance for the stuff.”
Cloud Kicker let out a brief chuckle. “Well, it is Pinkie Pie. She can eat her body weight in sugar when the mood takes her.”
A shiver ran up my spine. “I've ... actually seen her do that. I'm not sure how she survived that, but she did it.” We all came to regret Rainbow Dash daring Pinkie to eat all that sugar. Princess Celestia help me, she had been literally bouncing off the walls when she did that. It’s a minor miracle Ponyville survived that incident.
“I don't know her quite as well as you do.” Cloud Kicker gave a fondly reminiscent chuckle. “Well, I know her fairly well, but maybe not exactly the same way as you do. In any case, I've found that it's better not to ask too many questions about how she does anything.” I had to wonder how Cloud Kicker might know Pinkie, though on second thought, I wasn’t so sure I really wanted to know. That could lead to some unpleasant thoughts. The idea of Cloud Kicker and Pinkie... Nope! Going to push those thoughts away.
“If Pinkie were an equation, she'd probably be Pinkie equals Pinkie,” Lyra said, nodding wisely.
I ran a hoof through my mane as I remembered bitter memories. “I learned that the hard way. A lot of hard ways.” Hard ways that involved very large and very heavy objects landing on my head. “I theorize the universe doesn't want Pinkie solved.” Studying Pinkie had sent me to the hospital far too many times to justify my continual attempts to figure her out.
“Yeah. Confetti.” Cloud Kicker shivered. I had to thank Cloud Kicker for giving me that horrifying image in my head. I really didn't need the mental image of Cloud Kicker and Pinkie Pie doing things like that. Especially with how weird and random Pinkie could be. The mere idea of her engaging in coitus... Ack! I did not need those mental images!
“I think just about everypony in Ponyville has a Pinkie story.” I tried to put many horrible and increasingly implausible images out of my head. Curse my imagination. One of the worst parts about being so intelligent is that my brain is very good at visualizing things. Even, no, especially when I don't want it to.
Cloud Kicker grinned. “Probably. After all, as soon as you move here, she wants to be your new best friend.”
“She has a strong extroverted personality, that is for sure,” I said.
Lyra let out a hearty laugh. “She's probably the only pony I know that can have everypony singing together at once.” I had experienced that more than enough to know that was true. Even when the world was on the line, she was not above singing and getting everypony to go along with it when the mood struck her.
“She does like those crazy random songs out of nowhere.” Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Can't believe she finally hooked up with the boss, though.”
Lyra nuzzled up to Cloud Kicker. “I think it's really sweet that they did.”
Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra on the forehead. “Oh, Rainbow's a total sweetheart deep down. You'll never get her to admit it, though.”
“She has a good heart. Anypony can see that.” I smiled at the thought of my steadfast friend. It really was good that the two of them had found one another. Granted, the occurrences of pranks I had been subject to was starting to increase to worrying levels.
“Oh, she definitely does. It's just wrapped up in a thick layer of ego.” Lyra grinned.
I watched as Cloud Kicker and Lyra got comfortable leaning into one another, feeling slightly awkward. It was a feeling that was becoming increasingly common for me now that some of my friends were finding other ponies romantically. “I was surprised by that. Rainbow Dash didn't strike me as the romantic type.”
“Love can strike anypony, Twilight,” Lyra said warmly.
I looked over to the bar, wondering what was taking so long with our drinks. “I'm no expert on the matter. Never really thought about it.”
Lyra gave me a lazy smile. “Hm. One day you will, I'm sure.”
I shrugged. “Maybe, anything could happen.” I didn’t know why Lyra was suddenly showing an interest in my own romantic life. It wasn’t important to our talk about Pinkie and Dash.
The waitress came back to our table and dropped off our drinks, even leaving some chips and salsa for us to eat. We thanked her and returned to our conversation.
“Now, don’t be a grump,” Cloud Kicker teased. “We're here to deal with you tonight.”
I raised an eyebrow, not liking how that sounded. “‘Deal with me?’ I thought we were just hanging out?”
Cloud Kicker released her wing hug with Lyra and leaned my way on the table. “Well yeah. Just kinda curious about you, is all. I mean, Lyra's got Bon Bon, and everypony knows that I love everypony. So ... what's up with you?”
“Um.” I looked down at the table as I gathered my thoughts. Why had the conversation suddenly taken a turn in this direction? “I'm just busy ... with everything. My studies take up most of my time, is all.” I took a sip from my cider.
Lyra smirked at me. “Sounds like you need more free time.”
Cloud Kicker took a drink from her own cider. “Well yeah, duty first and all that. Just ... even if you're busy with studying, surely you 'notice' other ponies from time to time.”
“I like studying,” I said, finding myself avoiding the question on reflex. I sighed and tried again. “And ... I don't really look at other ponies like that. It just never concerned me.” Lyra gave Cloud Kicker a significant look that I couldn’t read. Concern maybe? “What? So I'm not the most romantic of ponies. There isn't anything wrong with that.”
“Never?” Cloud Kicker raised an eyebrow. “Just seems a bit odd that you have absolutely zero interest in love or physicality. I mean, it's certainly possible that you have a completely dead sex drive, but that's pretty rare.”
That was statistically true. It wasn’t conducive to the survival of the pony species wasn’t if ponies weren't interested in reproductive activities. In any event, being asexual wasn’t my issue with sex and romance.
I looked down at the table, now feeling profoundly uncomfortable now that I was the topic of the conversation. “Well ... maybe I was just planning on dealing with that down the line. It's not like I have to get married and have foals at the first opportunity.”
Lyra gave me a concerned frown. “Twilight, you don't plan to fall in love. It just happens.”
I found myself falling back on the more familiar ground of debate. I was far more comfortable with academic discussions rather than about my romantic prospects to say the least. “So by your own admission, there isn't much reason to force the issue?”
Lyra looked like she was about retort with her own argument when Cloud Kicker placed a hoof on her shoulder to stop her. She nodded to Lyra and then looked at me. “Mind if we do a little experiment, Twilight?”
I narrowed my eyes at Cloud Kicker, suspicious of her intentions. “What experiment did you have in mind?”
Cloud Kicker leaned back in her seat and wrapped her wing back around Lyra. “So ... it's a good thing we ran into Lyra, really.”
Lyra raised an eyebrow as she looked at Cloud Kicker. “Er, alright then. Go on, Kicky.”
Cloud Kicker gave me one of her mischievous grins. “So, what I'm thinking is ... maybe I just make out with Lyra for a bit, and we see how that makes you feel, Twilight. You've never really looked at the issue, so ... look.”
“Wait, what?” My eyes widened as my brain tried to work through whatever logic Cloud Kicker was using. “You want me to ... observe you kissing Lyra, and then examine my own feeling on the matter? Is that what you’re getting at?”
Cloud Kicker nodded. “More or less. It's not pushing you into banging or romance or anything. Just ... getting an idea of where you stand.”
“Stand on what?” I took a swig of my cider as I tried to process what she was proposing.
“Just how it makes you feel, seeing two other ponies share a tender moment like that.” Cloud Kicker leaned into Lyra. “Aroused? Jealous? Happy that we're happy? Slightly awkward about being left out?”
Lyra grinned as she ran a hoof along Cloud Kicker’s chest. “Twilight, just think of me as the Love Doctor. Kicky is my nurse. Hellooo Nurse!”
I raised an eyebrow at that. I noticed that a few ponies were looking at us, thanks to Lyra’s little display, and that only added to my discomfort. I shook my head as I looked down at my drink. “I don’t know. I really don’t see how that is supposed to help with anything. Seems childish, really.”
Cloud Kicker sipped from her mug. “I’m just curious if you actually have a sex drive or not, and this is a pretty quick way to find out.”
I crossed my forelegs over my chest. “Why is that even important? It’s my own business if I want to express interest in other ponies in that manner or not.”
“And it’s not healthy to deny a whole part of yourself,” Cloud Kicker countered. “You may not realize it, but love and sex are kinda important.”
Lyra nodded in agreement. “Trust me, Twilight. You really don’t know what you’re missing out on. Love is a wonderful thing that everypony should experience.”
Cloud Kicker leaned my way. “Besides, it’s just one kiss. No big deal, right? You must have seen other ponies kiss intimately before.”
I took a calming breath. It seemed that my major objections to this “experiment” were being reduced one at a time. It would probably just be easier to go along with it anyways and get it over with. That usually worked whenever my friends wanted me to try something new. “Alright, so just one kiss. After that you’ll stop bothering me?”
“If you’re still uncomfortable, then sure.” Cloud Kicker shrugged. “We’re just having a friendly night together, after all.”
I groaned irritably. Watching two ponies didn’t strike me as the way to have a “friendly night together.” “Fine, just one kiss between good friends then. It’s not me being kissed here anyways.” I realized something and looked to Lyra. “That is, unless Lyra has a problem. Wasn't there something said about you having a fillyfriend?”
“Cloud Kicker is the only pony other than Bons that can have access to me.” Lyra gave Cloud Kicker a friendly nuzzle. “We have an arrangement, so it's fine.”
I scratched the side of my head. Lyra’s ‘arrangement’ struck me as odd. Odd, but not impossible. I’d certainly heard of weirder things in Canterlot. “I guess that is fine if it isn't going to cause any major issues.”
Lyra gave me a reassuring smile. “I wouldn't agree to it if it did, don't worry.”
“Great.” Cloud Kicker turned to Lyra to give her a big grin. “So ... ready, sweetie?
Lyra slowly pressed her body into Cloud Kicker’s. “Whenever you are, Kicky.”
Cloud Kicker leaned in to give Lyra a tender kiss. Lyra closed her eyes upon contact and returned the kiss. I shifted uncomfortably as the silence dragged on while the two kissed. Figures they couldn't make it a swift peck on the lips. Even the scientific nature of my voyeurism didn’t make it significantly less awkward. I nearly jumped when the waitress walked up to our table, distracted as I was as Cloud Kicker pulled Lyra against her and gently stroked her mane.
“Need anymore drinks?” the waitress asked, utterly unconcerned with the two mares making out in front of her. I suppose running a fillyfooler bar would cause one to be jaded by such shows of affection.
I pulled my eyes from the pair as Lyra ran her hoof down Cloud Kicker’s chest. “Um, another round of the same.”
Lyra suddenly broke the kiss to look at the waitress. “Minty cocktail for me.” That said, she dived back into the kiss as though nothing had interrupted it to start with.
The waitress nodded and then left us to ... experiment? I took another drink of my mug of cider as I tried to watch the two of them unobtrusively. I was pretty sure I was failing. Little hard to examine something scientifically without looking like you were examining it.
Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra a few more times and then broke to whisper to her. “Feel a bit better now?”
Lyra whispered back in an alluring fashion. “Yeah, thanks. But we're focusing on Twilight here, not me.”
“I think I can spare a little time for you.” Cloud Kicker gave Lyra another kiss. “Love you, okay?”
Lyra kissed Cloud Kicker back. “I appreciate it, Kicky. Love you too.” She smiled and leaned her head against Cloud Kicker’s neck.
I was a little bit surprised to actually hear the word “love” exchanged between the two of them. At least for me, that wasn’t a word casually thrown around.
Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra on the forehead and then shifted to better face me. though she still kept a foreleg wrapped around Lyra. She looked at the table and her eyes brightened at the new round of drinks. “Oh, hey, another round of drinks.” She put a hoof through the mug’s handle and took a swig.
“So they are.” Lyra lifted her own drink with her telekinesis. She nuzzled Cloud Kicker’s neck before taking a long sip.
Cloud Kicker looked to me, comfortably cuddling up with Lyra. “So, that's that. Any observations you'd care to share, Twilight?”
I found myself shifting with discomfort in my seat now that attention had been shifted back to me. I thought for a moment as I considered what I was feeling after gaining data from my observations. “Um, after observing you two, I feel ... awkward. I’m curious about the nature of your relationship. I suppose I would feel acceptance towards it if it was heartfelt interaction.”
Cloud Kicker raised an eyebrow at that answer. “If it is a heartfelt interaction?” She sounded slightly offended.
I flinched at the tone of her answer. “Sorry, just that I don’t know the nature of your relationship.”
“We're good friends, Twilight.” Lyra blushed slightly as she snuggled up to Cloud Kicker. “Think about it like this: we trust each other enough to express our platonic love for each other through intimacy.”
I tapped on the tabletop as I considered what Lyra was saying. “I'm not really used to seeing ponies expressing platoniclove in such an intimate way. I mean you even used the word ‘love’ a moment ago.”
“That isn't a bad thing by any means.” Lyra gave a quiet little laugh before taking another sip.
Cloud Kicker nodded at that. “I'll admit, I'm a bit more physical about showing my feelings than most ponies.”
That was putting it mildly—not unlike saying that a magpie in a glitter factory was merely 'distracted.'
“I suppose it’s a bit outside of my experience, then.” I shrugged as I thought over the information I had been given. “Not that I'm an expert on these types of things.”
Lyra waved off my concerns. “Nobody starts out as an expert, so don't worry about it.”
Cloud gave me an encouraging smile. “Yeah, it's a learning process. Took me a while to figure out the difference between meaningless banging with some random piece of hot flank and ... this.” She gave Lyra an affectionate kiss on the cheek.
“So how would you describe your relationship?” I wanted to confirm I understood what I was looking at and hearing. All of this was out of my comfort zone.
“We're good friends. We love and trust each other enough to express that friendship physically.” Cloud Kicker pulled Lyra into a sideward hug and kissed her on the side of the head. “I know Lyra is in love with Bon Bon, and I'm honored that the two of them include me in that part of their life at times.”
“Aaaw, you.” Lyra planted a quick peck on Cloud Kicker’s cheek.
My hoof tapped on the tabletop. “I think I might understand. I suppose there isn't any issue with bringing physical pleasure into a comfortable relationship dynamic. Objectively speaking.” It wasn’t really for me to judge unless they tried to bring me into it.
Lyra nodded and took a sip from her drink. “It's something we both benefit from.”
Somehow that struck me unlikely. I couldn’t see any kind of benefit other than physical enjoyment. Bringing a third pony into a romantic relationship just seemed messy to me.
“Yeah. I guess I just ... look.” Cloud Kicker let go of Lyra, her expression now serious. “I know my reputation. I'm fine with it, really. But if you wanna understand me, then you need to know that these bangs aren't meaningless to me. I share something special with a lot of these ponies outside of just banging.”
“Right.” I let out a long breath. “I'm trying to understand you. I guess I just never considered that, um, a pony with your lifestyle would develop intimate relationships with ... those she is spending time with.” I realized how that might sound, and quickly sought to explain my words. “I'm ... trying to not be insulting here.”
Cloud Kicker sighed with a nod. “I get that. Us not understanding each other was kind of a problem, so I'm trying to fix that.”
I ate a couple of the chips from the bowl. “I guess I need to expand my horizons from a conventional Canterlotian relationship dynamic.”
Cloud Kicker let out an amused snort. “Oh, Twilight, Canterlot has some very diverse relationship dynamics.”
I thought about that and remembered the various statistics I had seen for Canterlot and Equestria in general where family dynamics were concerned. Two ponies in a committed relationship and possibly having foals between themselves was the most common type of relationship out there, but it was far from the only relationship type practiced in Equestria. “Um, yes.” I cleared my throat. “I suppose it does, now that I think about it.”
Lyra shrugged as she partook of the chip bowl. “Depends where you lie on the social ladder.”
“True.” Cloud Kicker flashed a grin. “Come to think of it, all three of us were born and raised in Canterlot, weren't we?”
Lyra smirked. “Huh. Funny that.”
I turned to Lyra. “You're from Canterlot as well?”
“Yep. Went to Canterlot College too ... but ... eh.” Lyra took a sip of her drink as she trailed off.
I frowned, as I thought over that, along with everything I knew about Lyra. Had she not finished college? That would explain her reaction. “But you ended up here? Playing on the street as a busker?”
“Well, you're talking to a pony who spent four years learning how to be a soldier then started pushing clouds,” Cloud Kicker said flatly.
Lyra gave the briefest frown. “Nothing wrong with that, is there?”
My ears flattened. “No, of course not. Just... without knowing your situation, that doesn't strike me as very ... ambitious for a musician from Canterlot. Plus the bits can’t be great in a small town like this.” I was starting to form an image of some of the type of company Cloud Kicker might keep. Or maybe certain types of ponies were drawn to Cloud Kicker? Maybe there were certain criteria that were common between Lyra, Rainbow Dash, Derpy, Blossomforth, and her other friends? I wasn’t quite sure yet. I would need to draw some graphs to see if I could find anything out. Right now the most productive thing I could do was gather data.
Lyra shuffled a bit. “I'm not in it for the fame.”
“I see.” I took a sip from my mug, finish the first one off. “Then what are you in it for?”
“The music itself.” Lyra nodded firmly.
I pursed my lips. “Sounds like it would be a rough lifestyle.” I wasn’t quite sure how a town like Ponyville could give a pony playing on the streets a comfortable lifestyle. I knew a musician could do well for themself if they did things like regularly toured or got hired by an orchestra, but I wasn’t quite sure how Lyra got along. ‘For the music itself’ was a good way to end up very poor. They did call them starvingartists for a reason.
Lyra rubbed at her upper foreleg. “Pursuing your passions usually is.”
“I think it’s pretty cool.” Cloud Kicker gave Lyra a supportive wing hug.
“I guess it's sort of a side thing.” Lyra shrugged halfheartedly.
My ears perked. “Oh, you have something else you do?”
Lyra’s ears, on the other hoof, flattened slightly. “That's ... a work in progress. It's not important, so don't worry.”
Even I could tell that all was not well here with Lyra. Was she having trouble paying her bills? Looking for a new job maybe? Student debt could certainly leave a pony in a bind. Even if they just went for a semester or two and before dropping out. I hated seeing a pony in trouble, even if I didn’t know them too well, like Lyra.
I gave Lyra an encouraging smile. “Well, if you ever need a little help, you can always stop by the library.”
“I'll consider it, thank you.” Lyra gave me a small nod.
“Thanks, Twilight.” Cloud Kicker reached out with a wing to wrap me in a hug. I stiffened at the touch of her wing, and Cloud Kicker immediately hesitated when she saw my discomfort.
Lyra looked between the two of us. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing! Nothing!” My voice was at a higher pitch than it normally was.
Lyra gave me a skeptical look. “It was just a hug. I'm sure you hug your other friends all the time.”
Cloud frowned and withdrew the wing. “Look, sorry, Duchess. Just ... y'know, I was grateful and all. Not everypony would offer help to a pony they barely know.”
I put my hooves up apologetically. “Sorry, sorry, just ... things.” That sounded like a lame excuse even to me. I couldn’t be made that upset by a simple hug, could I? Apparently if it was from Cloud Kicker, it seemed I could. “I guess it was sudden, is all.”
“Right.” Cloud Kicker drew in a long breath and opened her wing for me. “Hug?”
I rolled my eyes as Cloud Kicker gave me a hopeful smile, as much due to my own squeamish reaction as anything Cloud Kicker did. “I guess there isn't anything wrong with a completely platonic hug.” I leaned in to give her a quick, completely platonic hug. The type friends give each other and nothing more. Despite that, I found my cheeks warm a bit as I felt her body heat from the close contact.
Cloud Kicker gave me a final quick squeeze before releasing the pressure, though she kept a wing wrapped around me. I acted like an adult and told myself it was no big deal. “Thanks, Twilight.”
“It’s nothing,” I said, trying to brush the hug off as nothing important.
A thought struck me as I considered the hug we just had and the physical contact Cloud Kicker had with Lyra earlier. “So, I’m guessing physical contact makes you more comfortable then?”
Cloud Kicker smiled. “I've always been a kinda physical sort of pony, yeah.”
Lyra smiled as she munched on a couple of chips. “It's just another way of expressing emotion. Nothing wrong with that at all.”
I rubbed at my chin as I thought the idea over. “Ah, I guess I've just never been the type.” I shrugged before grabbing another chip.
It made enough sense. Ponies often sought physical contact with those around them depending on their relations with them and their own personal tendencies. I certainly exchanged hugs and other types of familial physical contact with family. Pinkie and Dinky were very huggy ponies—Pinkie possibly not even understanding the concept of personal space. Comparatively, ponies like Dash were much more reluctant to come into contact with another pony.
Cloud Kicker gave me an encouraging nod. “Everypony has their ways of handling things.”
I worked to keep myself from shifting in discomfort as my shoulder pressed against Cloud Kicker’s. “I suppose that makes sense. Dad was always more touchy with others than Mom or I ever were.”
Cloud Kicker shifted so that she could hug Lyra with her other wing. Lyra lifted up Cloud Kicker’s mug so that she could take a sip from it. “Thanks, Lyra. Kinda hard to hug and drink at the same time.”
“No worries.” Lyra gave Cloud Kicker a loving smile. “Just prod me when you want to drink.”
“Can do.”
Lyra cast a spell that made an odd claw-like appendage appear on her hoof, though the digits appeared much smoother than Spike’s. It was more like a hand from one of the arms of a minotaur. She ran one of the digits along Cloud Kicker’s chest. I was really hoping she wasn’t going to make out with Cloud Kicker when we were all this close to one another.
Cloud Kicker smirked down at the hand spell. “Love the idea, sweetie, but let's not get too frisky while Twilight's here.”
Thank Princess Celestia that Cloud Kicker, of all ponies, was keeping this from escalating. That was quickly reaching places I did not want to go.
“Oh, sorry.” Lyra smiled sheepishly as she dispelled the magical construct.
The tension in the air was reaching a level that started to make me feel awkward. I couldn’t help but feel like a third wheel next to Cloud Kicker and Lyra. “Well if you two want to ... I can just excuse myself, no problem. Plenty of books I can read back at the library to spend the evening with.” I chuckled awkwardly. It didn’t take a genius to figure out what those two must have been thinking about doing with one another.
Cloud Kicker shook her head. “No, no. This is our girls' night out for bonding and stuff. No way I'm leaving you behind, Twilight.”
“I don't want to—how do you put it—cramp your style,” I said. And I really didn’t want to subject of a threesome to come up.
Lyra reached over to put a hoof on my foreleg. “I was just acting silly. And I don't want to cramp yourstyle.” She gave me a playful grin. “Forget about it and just relax.”
“It’s fine, really.” Cloud Kicker gave me a sultry smirk. “I can make out with you too, if it'll help.” She must have seen the fierce scowl I shot at her, because she immediately frowned after she had joked, probably, about making out with me. “Sorry, was that insensitive?”
I looked down at the table, all the more conscious of Cloud Kicker’s wing around me. “It's ... fine. It was just a joke, right?” I gave her a smile that felt tight around the edges.
“Mostly.” Cloud Kicker’s lips curved into a small smile. “Though I wouldn't really mind—you're a nice mare with many admirable qualities.”
I felt myself blushing and took a sip from my drink in an attempt to cover the blush. I wasn’t used to compliments like that. Even when they weren’tfrom Cloud Kicker. I tried to segue the conversation to something other than Cloud Kicker flirting with me. “So do you always flirt with everypony? I mean, I see you doing it with Blossomforth all the time, but it never seems to go anywhere. I guess I have trouble telling when you are being serious or not.”
Cloud Kicker looked up at the ceiling, and I could see the gears moving in her head. “I guess it varies a lot. I mean, I'm pretty flirty just by nature, but not all flirting is equal, I guess. With Blossom, it's just our way of kinda joking and messing around.”
I tapped on the brim of my mug as I considered my words. “Still seems like you flirt a lot. You were doing it with me and Lyra just a little bit ago. Makes it hard for me to tell when you're just trying to socialize or if you're being serious.”
“Yeah, I flirt a lot.” Cloud Kicker nuzzled Lyra on the cheek, who in turn giggled at the touch. “S'part of who I am. I guess what I was trying to say when it comes to you is ... well, you're cool enough that I wouldn't mind seeing about getting physical sometime. Not as some sort of lustful sexytime thing, but just as a ... I dunno. Hard to explain it, really.”
“Well that doesn’t make this awkward,” I said sarcastically, motioning towards the wing Cloud Kicker had around me. I facehoofed at how nasty that sounded. “Sorry, its just ... I’m not sure I’m getting this. From what you’re saying, you want to—how to put this—make our relationship deeper, but its not like one of your more casual relationships?” I groaned with frustration.
Cloud Kicker sipped at her own drink before answering me. “It's not a hedonism thing, though I would certainly enjoy the physical part of it too. So I guess what I was trying to say is, I wouldn't mind sharing that kind of intimate connection with you.”
“Can't fault her for her honesty, Twilight.” Lyra leaned into Cloud Kicker. “Though you two probably need to get to know each other better first before you do anything crazy.”
After considering it for a moment, I did believe Cloud Kicker. I wasn’t exactly going to jump at the offer to be intimate with her, but I did think she was telling me the truth about having a stronger connection with me. Being intimate like that without being committed to them was just something that was outside of the relationship paradigms I was used to.
“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” I shook my head. “I don't know. I guess if I'm being analytical about it, I suppose the fact that I've never had any kind of romantic relationship makes me nervous about the whole idea.”
Lyra gave me a reassuring smile. “It's okay to be nervous. I remember when I first met Kicky, and she asked to get intimate with me. You should have seen the look on my face.” Lyra made a face that was contorted between bewilderment and disgust.
Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Yeah, I did come onto you a little strong, Lyra. What can I say? The hand spell got me.”
“I'm glad I agreed to it.” Lyra pecked Cloud Kicker on the cheek.
“Me too, love.” Cloud Kicker kissed her on the lips in return.
Cloud Kicker tightened her wing around me. “You're pretty cool, Twilight Sparkle. I'm glad we're finally getting to be friends.”
Were we friends now? I knew from my studies that it could be a blurry line from when you crossed the line from casual acquaintance to actual friend. So it was possible we were at least becoming friendly with one another. I supposed that it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to just be friends, at long as intercourse didn’t become a factor. While terribly awkward, the night hadn’t gone terribly by any means.
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that is alright.” Needing more time to contemplate where my relationship with Cloud Kicker stood, I decided to switch topics again. I was gathering quite a bit of information for my research project tonight. So at least I was getting that much done. “So when it’s you two and Bon Bon, what is that supposed to be? Like ... an intimate moment between friends or something?”
“Yeah, I guess that's a good way to put it.” Cloud Kicker popped a chip in her mouth. “Plus it's just a lot of fun.”
I tapped my lips as I thought over the relationship dynamic before me. “I suppose that’s nice if that works for all of you.”
Lyra smiled fondly at Cloud Kicker. “Mhm, it is.”
“Yeah, it is nice. I just love having ponies to love. I love Blossom, 'cause she's just the best friend a pony could have. I love Derpy, 'cause she's always a bubbly, little ray of sunshine. And Dash, 'cause she's always been there for me, even when we've both messed up.”
Lyra snuggled up against Cloud Kicker. “If you give Cloud Kicker some love, you'll definitely get some back.”
“Um, so it seems.” I was beginning to worry that Cloud Kicker had a bit too much to drink given how much she was throwing the word “love” around. “She certainly seems to have a lot of love in her.”
“Oh yeah.” Cloud Kicker kissed Lyra on the forehead. “I love Lyra for being this artsy fun-lover who's never afraid to try something new. And Bon Bon for knowing how to be serious without ever turning into a total downer.”
Lyra nudged Cloud Kicker in the ribs. “So, Kicky, why do you love Twilight? Or like her, at the very least.”
Now that made me feel awkward. “She doesn't need to do anything like that, really,” I said, trying to put a hoof down on that conversation line.
“Oh, I think I do.” Cloud Kicker grinned at me. “Well, the obvious starting place would be her brains and her determination. Hay, she stuck with the whole studying me thing even after I made a pretty horrible first impression. And now she's taking the time to really get to know me properly, giving me a fair chance and letting me pull her a bit outside her comfort zone.”
I felt my blush reaffirm itself. “Oh, that's ... really nice of you to say.” I’d heard such compliments before in so many words, but there was something in the way Cloud Kicker said it that I couldn’t put my hoof on. Then I felt a twinge of guilt over how I had thought about her at the start of this project. I frowned and played with my cup. “Especially when I let my preconceptions temper my judgement. Not to mention I didn't exactly plan on giving you a second chance before.”
Cloud Kicker nudged me in the shoulder. “Nopony's perfect, Twilight. I didn't get that I was giving you the wrong impression. It happens.”
I waved a hoof to dismiss the whole depressing business. “It's in the past now anyways, right? No sense dwelling on it.”
“Exactly.” Cloud Kicker fell into a moment of silence before addressing me in a serious tone. “Twilight, do you find me attractive?”
Well that hadn’t been sudden.
“What?!” I yelled loud enough for several ponies turned our direction. I nearly started choking on air, and I ducked my head down and spoke much more quietly. “Sorry, but ... you want to know what?”
“I’m just curious, I guess.” Cloud Kicker took a moment to sip from her drink. “Also, it’ll give me a idea of what you like.”
“She just wants to know if you think she’s hot or not.” Lyra smiled reassuringly at me. “It’s not like she’s asking you to make out with her or anything.”
“Well, um.” I gave Cloud Kicker a scrutinizing look. After thinking about it, I couldn’t see much harm in thinking about the issue logically. I examined her body scientifically, examining it features for a few seconds before answering. “You’re somewhere within the top thirty to forty percentile for height. You have a tone and balanced muscle mass of an athlete without it being too pronounced as to be outside of perceived norms. Your mane style is acceptable within popular culture. Then your coat and mane compliment each other very well within the color wheel.”
“Err, that is, I’m not saying...” I took a moment to sip my drink to get my brain and mouth to resolve their differences. Actually, the alcohol probably wasn’t going to help me think now that I contemplated it. I really wasn’t used to having alcoholic beverages on hoof. “I'm not saying you make me aroused, just stating scientific facts about your appearance.”
Cloud Kicker gave an amused chuckle. “Nothing wrong with calling a pony attractive, Duchess.”
I straightened myself in my seat to make myself look more serious. “All I’m saying is that you’re aesthetically pleasing. That’s it, nothing more.” The awkwardness of the conversation was starting to make my heart race. Why couldn’t I just talk about how statistically attractive a pony was without it causing me to feel uncomfortable?
“Don’t be all defensive, Twilight.” Lyra wrapped a leg around Cloud Kicker’s and gave her a peck on the cheek. “Kicky’s a sexy pony. It’s okay to say so.”
“You’re not bad-looking yourself, sweetie.” Cloud Kicker pecked Lyra back.
“Thanks.” Lyra looked over to me. “But yeah, you’re a looker yourself. I’m surprised I haven’t heard about you dating anypony yet.”
I shook my head. “I don’t date. Frankly, I’ve never even kissed a pony before so—”
Now I was really regretting having drank as much as I had. It was causing me to slip things out I didn’t mean to. Why did Applejack cider have to taste so good?
Lyra shot me a skeptical look. “Wait, as in never-never? No pecks on the lips? Surely you must have gotten a few smooches to the cheek in school from some sweetheart?”
I shook my head. “Like I said, it’s just not important to me.” I was starting to sound like a broken record on that point. Not the best way to win an argument.
Lyra’s ears slowly flattened on her head. “That’s, no offense, kinda sad. As in, I’m sad you’ve never experienced that before, sad.”
I rolled my eyes. I wasn’t sad in any sense of the term. “I’m fine, Lyra. You don’t need to worry about me. I still have plenty of things to enjoy in life. Even if you want to talk about my social life, it’s not like I’m a shut-in anymore. I have plenty of friends and other social activities I take part in now.”
I didn’t see why Lyra was making such a big deal of this. I mean this was just kissing we were talking about. Ponies did it all the time. It was just a basic show of affection between ponies who had a certain level of attraction to one another. No big deal.
“Yeah, but this’s love we’re talking about,” Lyra protested.
I let out an exasperated sigh. “So I don’t have romantic prospects right now. It’s not the end of the world.”
“If I could ask you something, Twilight?” Cloud Kicker’s expression became serious as she looked at me. “Do you not like kissing?”
I rubbed the back of my neck as I thought about the disquieting question. “Um, I’m not saying there’s anything bad about it. I’m just not interested, is all.”
I could feel Cloud Kicker studying me after I answered her question. “But you can’t really say if you like it or not because you’ve never experienced it before?”
“Um, I guess not,” I conceded.
Cloud Kicker’s gave me a sly grin. “Maybe you should consider gathering some empirical data someday?”
I gave her a skeptical look. “Let me guess, you want me to gather that data with you?”
Cloud Kicker shrugged; it was a bemused motion. “If you want to, then I won’t complain.” She wrapped a leg around Lyra to draw her closer. “Though Lyra here is a pretty fantastic smoocher too.”
I took some time to sip on my cider, glancing around and seeing that some ponies were looking at us through the corner of their eye. I looked back at Cloud Kicker and Lyra and shook my head. “I’m good. The idea just isn’t appealing to me right now.”
“Oooh, too bad.” Lyra pouted before taking a swig of her drink.
“That’s your decision, then.” Cloud Kicker patted me on the shoulder. “So ... what's next for mares’ night out?”
I offered a silent prayer of thanks that the topic of the conversation had finally changed. I looked around desperately to find anything else to talk about.
“I might have suggested dancing.” I motioned towards the little dance floor the Sun’s Flank had. “But my friends told me that I should avoid dance floors in public.”
Cloud Kicker looked at me skeptically. “Oh, it can't be that bad...”
I gave Cloud Kicker a flat look. “The Princess invited me to a formal dance when I was thirteen. I was, politely, never invited again. Seems that my invitations kept getting lost in the mail. The only times my friends let me dance is when we are in private and at my birthday party. Even my own parents don’t bring me along for any dance function in Canterlot.” Lyra giggled in such a way that made me suspect that she had maybe had one too many to drink. She had been at the Sun’s Flank before we had shown up, so it was certainly possible she had already had a few.
Cloud Kicker looked at me with amused skepticism. “So ... what you're saying is that you don't know how to dance?”
I smirked as I shrugged. “The mind is willing, but the body is unable. Bit of a genetic condition that runs in the family called ‘all-left-hoofism.’ It’s a malady I’ve learned how to cope with it over the years.”
Cloud Kicker gave me a playful nudge on the shoulder. “I'm tempted to suggest we just go out on the dance floor and give it a whirl anyway, but I suspect I'd regret tempting fate like that. It’d be like asking Derpy to handle anything flammable. So, I think I'll just take your word for it. You don't need dancing skills to be a great pony.”
“Pff.” Lyra tried to stand up, but the attempt nearly caused her to swoon and fall to the floor, and she sat back down again. “Who cares if you're not good at dancing? Dance for the fun of it!”
I pushed aside memories of how my dancing had been mistaken for me suffering a seizure on a couple occasions. “Trust me. It’s for the best. Perhaps we can find something else to do?”
Cloud Kicker stretched in her seat. “I'm open to suggestions.”
I started to go through my mental checklist of possible social activities we could do this late in the evening. “What else is available on an evening like this? Ponyville isn't exactly the largest town in Equestria. I doubt there would be something like a play going on.”
“True.” Cloud Kicker crossed her forelegs in front of her chest and looked to be in deep concentration. “Aside from one or two hang-out spots, the nightlife's not that crazy here.”
Lyra tapped at the table. “Hm, there is the bowling alley.” She paused and then shook her head. “Nah, it’s closed now.”
“Only other thing I can think of is to head to one of our places to hang out. As fun as Pinkie's”— I spelled out the next word, —“p-a-r-t-i-e-s can be, they can be a bit tiring in abundance.”
Cloud Kicker grunted and nodded. “Yeah, especially after she went into party overdrive mode after hooking up with Rainbow. Not that the ‘Applejack's hat fell off but didn't get messed up or dirty, so let's have a party!’ party wasn't fun, but...”
As I had come to learn all too well, Pinkie’s parties were just something you had to experience in moderation. Pinkie could get a little bit exuberant at times—okay—very exuberant. She meant well, but she could go overboard at times.
“Hm, wanna just head over to the lake or somewhere and hang out for a bit?” Cloud Kicker turned to Lyra and gave her a hopeful smile. “Maybe have Lyra play us some music?”
Lyra stood up, and while a bit shaky, managed to keep from falling over. “I'd gladly do that, but I'd have to zip home and get my lyre first.”
Cloud Kicker scooted around the booth and stood up. “Great, how about we just meet you out by the lake?”
Lyra nodded. “I'll go ahead and get it then.”
“That sounds fine with me.” Though I grew curious about the fact that Lyra even needed to go home to retrieve her instrument. “Don't you know a item retrieval spell for your lyre?” Every unicorn musician I knew had a basic retrieval spell for at least one of their instruments. It had the decisive advantage of removing the need to drag their instruments all around town or in the event they wanted to make an impromptu performance, as was the case here.
Lyra froze in her tracks and gave me a strained grin. “Err ... no, I don't. Nope... Just meet me there and find a nice spot. I'll see you two in a bit!” She made for a hasty exit before I could inquire further. Strange, very strange. Did Lyra perhaps have a magical disability and didn’t want to talk about it?
I watched as Lyra trotted her way out of the Sun’s Flank before turning to Cloud Kicker. “So, I guess we're heading over to the lake?”
“Sounds like it.” Cloud Kicker dropped some bits onto the table to pay for the meal. “My treat.”
“You really don’t need to.” I moved to retrieve my own bit bag. “I can pay my share at least.”
Cloud Kicker put a hoof on my bit bag to hold it in place. “Please, let me pay. Just something to say I’m sorry for everything.”
“I wasn’t exactly completely innocent in all of this either,” I countered.
Cloud Kicker nudged me towards the door to move me along. “Come on, I don’t wanna be the type of friends who feel they need to play tit-for-tat. I just want to do something nice.”
I let Cloud Kicker lead me along. It’s not like it was an outrageous sum we were talking about. “I guess that’s alright.” Then another thought occurred to me. “Wait, did Lyra just skip out on paying?”
After confirming that it was indeed okay that Lyra had left without paying—Cloud Kicker had assured me that Lyra had some sort of arrangement—we left the Sun’s Flank to make our way to the lake near Ponyville. The lake was an artificial construction, a result of the dam that had been built near the town, and it took a little bit of time to walk to.
I gave Cloud Kicker a smile as we walked through the nighttime streets of Ponyville. I felt a very mild buzz from the hard cider I drank earlier in the Sun’s Flank. It was probably good that we had left when we did. I could have gotten into all sorts of trouble if I had gotten any more alcohol into my system.
Cloud Kicker looked to me with a smile. “So, you’ve been enjoying the night thus far?’
I thought about that for a moment before answering. “It’s been ... okay.”
Cloud Kicker frowned at my less than enthusiastic reply. “I hear a ‘but’ in there.”
“But...” I took a long breath before continuing. “Well, I didn’t want to make a scene back there and speak up. But if I'm going to be honest, you made me uncomfortable in the Sun's Flank too.”
Cloud Kicker winced. “I did?”
I looked her in the eyes and nodded. “Yeah. I mean you started flirting with me in there, after everything that happened already. Then you nudged me to watch you kiss Lyra, and asked me about my sex life...” I couldn’t bring myself to continue and I let out an annoyed groan.
Cloud Kicker stared at me for a minute before applying her hoof to her face. She then proceeded to smack herself on the forehead a few times. “Feeeather,” she hissed.
“It’s all just now hitting you?” I looked at her evenly as I let what she had done this night sink in. “I’m going to be honest and say I’m not exactly thrilled right now.”
“I think I caught a case of the stupids or something.” She ran her hoof through her mane as she let out a long sigh. “I dunno. I think I was trying to find a way to get you comfortable with me, when I should've been acting in a way that would make you more comfortable instead.”
“You think?” I shook my head as I tried to gather my thoughts. “You know the old saying about the definition of insanity, right?”
Cloud Kicker glumly looked down at the ground as we both continued walking along the road. “Well, I was trying something a bit different. I guess. Maybe. A little.” She sighed. “Guess I need to try harder, right?”
“You don’t say?” I snarked. “I'm trying really hard to not just walk away here, and give you a real chance.”
“Yeah.” Cloud Kicker let out a low groan as she rubbed her forehead. “I think Lyra being there caused me to backslide into old habits. That’s not an excuse,” she quickly added. “Just an explanation for why I messed up. It’s just, Lyra’s been going through a rough spot lately, and...”
“And?” I pressed, trying to get her to expand on whatever was going on with Lyra.
She shrugged. “No offense, Twilight, but I’d rather not give out all the dirty details of Lyra’s personal life. You can ask her if you want the story. Doesn’t really matter anyway; I should’ve known better, and I’ve nopony to blame but myself for feathering the whole situation up.” Cloud Kicker trotted up to stop in front of me. “Okay, new rule: no more banging talk or flirting. None of it, at all, without your express permission.”
I gave her a scrutinizing look. “Sure you can even manage that much?” Given what I had seen from the nymphomaniac I had my doubt about this promise of hers.
“Ow.” Cloud let out a snort. “Believe it or not, I can.”
I walked past her to continue along the road. Memories of all my previous encounters with Cloud Kicker filled me with more than a little bit of doubt. “I'm going to need a bit of evidence to believe that. Sorry.”
Cloud Kicker trotted after me to keep up. “Well, fine. Let's talk. Ask me about something other than my sex life. I do have a life outside of banging, you know.”
I was tempted to just go back to the library and do everything I could to forget about Cloud Kicker. Unfortunately, that stubborn streak of mine kicked in—the one that makes me drive forward despite setbacks like having many large and heavy objects fall on me while trying to study Pinkie Pie. I had to wonder if I had some sort of deep psychological need to torture myself.
“Alright ... so, how's work?” I asked.
Cloud Kicker gave me a friendly smile. “Going pretty good. The usual weather stuff. Oh, but I'm leaving town pretty soon. Going on a business trip to Cloudsdale for a while.”
So we had gone five seconds without reference to banging. So far, so good. “What's the business trip for?”
“The big annual weather worker conference in Cloudsdale.” Cloud Kicker’s smile became brighter. “Rainbow's sending me in her place.”
I considered that for a moment while we passed a couple other ponies walking down the street. “That sounds important. Wouldn’t that normally be a thing Dash herself should do? ” I knew Dash could be a bit on the lazy side where her work went. She was a bit infamous for her tendency to nap while on the job.
I had to wonder if Dash was skipping on some of her duties just to spend time with the rest of us to watch the dragon migration. She didn’t exactly make it a secret that she didn’t like anything that sounded like a work related meeting. Her avoiding her duties and dumping it on one of her co-workers wasn’t an idea I particularly liked.
“Normally would, yeah. Rainbow can't make it, though.” She puffed out her chest. “So that's on me this year. Should be fun, even if I'm not much of a fan of Cloudsdale.”
My head tilted at that last bit. “Don't like Cloudsdale much?”
Cloud Kicker looked out ahead of us for a long moment before answering. “It's always seemed too ... pegasus-y.”
“How so?” I asked.
“Kinda hard to put into words, really.” She scratched behind one of her ears. “I just like places where you get all the different types of ponies.”
“Fair enough,” I granted. “I suppose you're used to more cosmopolitan locations like Canterlot?” According to my records, she had lived most of her life in Canterlot, in addition to other locations throughout Equestria. Cloudsdale had struck me as, to put it diplomatically, monotonous in its nature. Canterlot may be largely a unicorn city, but the other breeds could easily be found among its population. Cloudsdale was not so accessible to non-pegasi for obvious reasons.
“Yeah.” Cloud Kicker shuffled her wings in apparent discomfort. “Plus, if you wanna get picky, my family did kinda get run out of there a long time ago.”
I remembered that the Kicker Clan had left Cloudsdale under less than ideal circumstances in the lead up to the Lunar Rebellion. The war hadn’t exactly made the Kicker Clan welcome for a long, long time. “Ah, I guess that might be a bit awkward. Though that was ... nearly nine hundred years ago?”
Cloud Kicker looked intently down the street we were walking down. “Yeah. It's not like it really bothers me or anything. Ancient history. It's just...” she trailed off with a shrug.
“I think it’s quite fascinating really.” I smiled as I remembered some of old history lessons back in school. “Some historians argue that history is driven entirely by historical factors, environmental factors, and trends in exclusion of the role independent ponies might have in historical events. I think Shadow Kicker’s decision to lead the Kicker Clan’s exile and the events leading into the Lunar Rebellion show otherwise. It’s my argument that the war would have gone very differently if Shadow hadn’t decided to side with Princess Celestia during the war. Likely Equestria would have ended up significantly more fractured than it is now.”
Cloud Kicker bit back a laugh and snorted in amusement. “You really sound like an egghead when you do that, you know?”
“What?” I stomped a hoof against the dirt road, feeling a lecture coming on. “This is important stuff. The Lunar Rebellion was a formative event in Equestrian history.”
“All I’m saying is that it’s nice to see you passionate about something. That’s a side of you I really prefer seeing. It’s much more natural then, well...” She scuffed a hoof in the dirt. “Me making you uncomfortable.”
For a moment there I was worried she was starting to flirt with me, but it seemed that actually wasn’t her intent given the lack of innuendo or sexual comments sent my way. So I decided to just remain silent. That seemed the safest path at the moment.
“Anyways.” She shook her head. “Really, I agree completely that the Lunar Rebellion is important. It is how my family ended up in Canterlot, after all. Shadow’s memoirs are almost required reading once you get old enough for them. At least for me they were.”
My lips pursed at that bit of information. “So you’ve read some history?”
“I wouldn’t call myself a historian, but yeah.” Cloud Kicker ran a hoof through her mane as she grinned. “Military history is a required course in West Hoof, plus the stuff you pick up in general education, and then a book here and there when something caught my eye. Big surprise, I know a bit more than the average pony about the Lunar Rebellion.”
“Nothing wrong with that,” I assured her. “It’s always good to know at least some history.” I let out a derisive snort. “Based on how everypony acted during the Summer Sun Celebration a few years ago, you would swear that nopony knew that Luna and Nightmare Moon were real ponies.”
Cloud Kicker chuckled. I supposed it was good that ponies could laugh about what had been one of the most terrifying nights of our lives. Certainly better than the alternative if I had failed that night. “Yeah, most ponies just don’t care about something that happened a thousand years ago.”
“They should.” I let out an annoyed growl. “I’ve seriously considered setting up a historical book club or something to help ponies learn.”
“I think I’d be interested in something like that as long as the reading was good,” Cloud Kicker said.
“Really?” I asked, unsure if I quite believed that.
“Banging isn’t the only thing I do, Duchess.” She quickly trotted around a pair of ponies that had walked in between us as we walked along. “Blossom and I hang around and just do stuff, just like you and your friends. Same with Dash and a few of my other friends. I enjoy an evening spent bowling, going on a picnic, or whatever else as much as the next pony. And history is a subject that’s kinda interesting to me. So your book club sounds like something I’d at least give a shot.”
“And what would you like to read about?” I wanted to see just how sincere she was about this.
Cloud Kicker rubbed her chin as she thought my question over, and then a sparkle lit in her eye. “I wouldn’t mind reading Shadow’s memoirs again. Been years since I read them last. At least everypony else would get a kick out of them.”
“I’ll have to consider that, actually.” I didn’t remember ever reading that memoir in the past. I made sure to put it on my mental list for books I wanted to read someday. The talk about the Kicker Clan and the Lunar Rebellion made me curious about something. “So ... would you mind if I asked a bit about your family?
“Sure. Just one request.” Cloud Kicker gave me a serious look. “Let's avoid the topic of your brother and my dad.”
I nearly tripped over my own hooves at the nature of the request. “Um, okay. I hope at least asking you why would be alright?”
She sighed and shook her head in a gesture of frustration. “It's just ... look, they competed for the top job. I think we both have our biases as to who deserved it.”
My eyes widened in realization. I hadn’t been involved in the politics of picking the latest Captain for the Royal Guard, but based on what I had heard, it had been a hard fight to see who would be Equestria’s chief general. Given how involved the Kickers were with the Guard, I could easily see how my brother beating Cloud’s father might be a sore spot for her.
“Oh, I see.” I looked down at the dirt road. “Yeah, that could make things awkward then.”
Cloud Kicker nodded. “Yeah. We don't need an argument over that on top of everything else. Your brother seemed like a nice guy, but...”
“Right, and I don’t want to say anything negative about your father.” I blinked as a sudden realization came over me. “Wait, you know who my brother is?” Thinking back, I couldn’t remember telling Cloud Kicker about my brother.
“Well, it'd be more accurate to say I know who Shining Armor's sister is,” she said with an amused grin. “I was a freshmare at West Hoof when he was in his last year. Plus, I've run into him once or twice when he and my family had business.”
“That makes sense.” I hadn’t really considered that Cloud Kicker might know my brother. I briefly wondered what type of business he and the Kicker Clan might have had other than strictly work-related matters. In any event, I decided to go with a safer conversation point. “So how is your family?”
“Well, aside from Mom and Dad's problems, they're doing great,” she said in a stilted manner.
I felt my ears wilt as I remembered that Cloud Kicker’s parents seemed to be going through marital problems. At least, if the way Cloud Kicker and her mom’s reactions were any indicator. “Oh ... right. And Alula?”
That instantly brought Cloud Kicker out of her dour mood and made her grin. “Little brat's doing great. She's actually staying with me right now. She's a good kid.”
That perked my interests a bit as we started to pass the outskirts of Ponyville. “Does she stay with you regularly?”
She shrugged. “Off and on. Mom and Dad can get busy with Guard work, so they let me take care of her. I don't get as much time with her as I'd like, so its nice.” She looked at me with a grin. “Hey, you should come by sometime and see her.”
“Maybe,” I said, thinking the possibility over.
“Come on, you’ll get to see a new side of me.” She nudged me in the shoulder. “Not like I’m going to talk about any of the forbidden topics when my little sis can hear.”
“I’ll consider it for later,” I said neutrally. My mind was still far from made up on how much I wanted to forgive Cloud Kicker after everything that had happened. I decided it was best to change the topic. “Must be nice having a younger sister.”
“It has its perks,” Cloud Kicker agreed. “Must be nice having a big brother too.”
I smiled as old memories of Shining Armor returned. “Yeah, we get along. Haven't seen him in a while though.” I shrugged. “It’s been hard to see him at times. Considering he is in the Guard, and sometimes has to move around Equestria on different assignments. Being Captain of the Guard keeps him even busier.”
Cloud Kicker grunted in agreement. “I can imagine. Dad's busy enough without getting the top job.”
I realized we were stepping into territory that Cloud Kicker wasn’t comfortable. “We ... better go to a different topic. We're getting kinda close to what you said you didn't want to talk about earlier.”
“Yeah, a bit.” She gave a slight shrug to me before looking back to the road leading out of Ponyville. “So ... what's the deal with you and Rainbow?”
“Our deal? We're best friends.” I wondered what she was getting at.
“Well, yeah. Just...” she trailed off, not finishing her thought.
“Just?” I prodded her.
“Well, I dunno. I guess it bugs me a little.” Cloud Kicker’s wing shuffled uncomfortably. “You and Rainbow.”
My head tilted in confusion as I turned to look at her. “How does Dash and I being friends bother you? You probably spend at least as much as time as I do with her, given you work with her.”
“Well that's just it,” she protested, her tone taking on a hint of irritation. “Don't take this the wrong way, but Dash and I were friends for years before she even met you. So what makes your friendship so ... super-magical?”
“Um, I don't know. It's just our friendship ... just clicks.” I shook my head as I tried to figure out a way to put my feelings into words. “It's hard to explain. I don't even have a friendship like you have with Dash to compare it to. Not one that’s lasted for years and years except with my big brother.”
“Yeah?” Her wings shifted and she turned away from me. “Just seems kinda ... cheap, almost. That some pony can come outta nowhere, and in less than a day she's super-magical friends with Rainbow.”
I carefully considered what she was telling me. Was she actually jealous of me and my relationship with Dash? Hurt even? Could friendship with one friend seriously hurt the friendship with another? I remembered how all of Dash’s new friends had hurt her friendship with Gilda, so it was certainly possible that Dash spending time with me and my other friends was affecting her friendship with Cloud Kicker.
“I'm ... sorry,” I apologized. “I had no idea I was driving some sort of wedge between you two.”
“It's not a big deal.” Cloud Kicker didn’t look at me as we continued down the road, passing by trees along the way. “It's just ... yeah. Ever since you came here, she's had less time for me.”
“I don't really know what to say to that,” I told her.
Cloud Kicker stopped in the middle of the road. “D'you think if I'd been there, I would've...” She sighed, poking at the ground a bit.
It took me a couple of second to realize what she was getting at. She wanted to know if she could have become an Element if she had been there the night of Nightmare Moon’s return.
“I ... there's no way to say,” I admitted. “There's too many factors that go into how the Elements work. Even with the time I've had to study the Elements of Harmony, I still don't fully understand them.”
“Yeah.” She sighed as she look out into the nearby woods. “Would've been nice to get one.”
“This is something you actually care about?” I inquired.
She nodded slowly. “A little bit, yeah.”
I never really considered that somepony like Cloud Kicker would want to be an Element. It just didn’t seem to fit a pony like her. Granted, my friends were an oddball band upon reflection. “Why? I mean, being an Element isn't exactly the safest thing in the world.”
“I'm okay with unsafe. I did once plan on joining the Guard.”
I wondered if this was related to her not joining the Guard. That could go a long way towards explaining why she would want to be an Element. Saving Equestria would probably have gone a long way towards improving her standing with her family.
I walked up to face her. “Then why is it important to you? You want to play hero along with the rest of my friends?”
“Well ... yeah, kinda.” She shuffled her hooves. “I mean, Rainbow and Fluttershy are my oldest, best friends. Of course I'd wanna be out there helping them.”
I felt my curiosity rise when Cloud Kicker said that Fluttershy was one of her oldest friends. Thinking back, I couldn’t think of a single time I had seen the two of them together. Fluttershy never even talked about Cloud Kicker of her own volition. Had I been missing something?
“Didn't work out that way.” I looked up at the moon, and Nightmare Moon’s old prison. I had to wonder about all the factors that went into the night that changed my life. “Granted, that was a chaotic night.”
Cloud Kicker let out a long breath. “Yeah, things got pretty crazy. I was trying to hook up with family, see about ... well...”
“About some of the things that happened in the town hall?” I remembered how a couple of pegasi of the Royal Guard had been struck with lightning when Nightmare Moon first appeared. Had any of them been among Cloud Kicker’s family?
Cloud Kicker started walking down the road again, and I walked up along side her. “Yeah. The Guard was mobilizing after Nightmare Moon came back, and I am technically in the reserves. So I was running around trying to get orders while you guys saved Equestria.” She sounded unhappy with how things had gone that night. It must have been a scary night for everypony when Nightmare Moon had returned, and how much more so for those who considered it their job to protect Equestria?
“It's not like you did anything wrong,” I tried to reassure her. “You couldn't have known what we were doing.”
She gave me a sad look. “Yeah, but still...”
“Still what?” I stomped a hoof. “You tried to do what you thought was right.”
Cloud Kicker scowled. “I wasn't there for my friends when they needed me. You were. Maybe that's the difference.”
Part of me couldn’t believe I was defending Cloud Kicker against herself. “Cloud Kicker, that's ... I don't think that's fair to you.”
“Yeah?” She shook her head. “Guess not. Still feels that way, sometimes.”
“Not that I was exactly perfect that night. I didn't even want anypony else to go with me and risk getting hurt. I thought I could retrieve and use the Elements of Harmony by myself to stop Nightmare Moon.” I shivered at the memories of some of the things we had went up against that night. “All I probably would have done was have gotten myself hurt or killed if I had my way. I was lucky everypony insisted on coming with me.”
“Well, good thing Rainbow stuck with you.” There was a short pause before Cloud Kicker looked at me seriously. “I would've too.”
I arched an eyebrow. “You would have stuck with the crazy unicorn who just arrived in town, raving that the only way to beat Nightmare Moon was to go out into the scary forest to an abandoned castle to retrieve some ancient, all-but-forgotten artifact?” That was probably another reason I hadn’t asked anypony for help. Even I had to admit that my quest to find the Elements of Harmony was a stretch. I wouldn’t even have attempted something so dangerous if not for the dire circumstances.
Cloud Kicker chuckled. “Okay, when you put it like that ... no, probably not. No offense.” We walked down the road for a bit before she continued. “But if Rainbow believed in you, I would've.”
Was Cloud Kicker really serious about that? Going out into the Everfree Forest wasn’t exactly for the faint of heart. Truth be told, I didn’t really know enough about her to know for certain. I wasn’t exactly sure I even wanted to think about how she would have acted on the night of Nightmare Moon’s return. The image of Cloud Kicker flirting with Nightmare Moon was ... interesting.
I let out a huff. “I think what you did was reasonable, like how most ponies ran home with their families.” I couldn’t find much fault with Cloud Kicker wanting to hook up with her family in an emergency. Can’t say I wasn’t tempted to run back to Canterlot to my family.
“Yeah.” She shook her head and sighed. “But I'm supposed to be a protector of ponies, not ... you know.”
“A weather pony in some backwater town?” I blurted, instantly regretting how harsh it sounded. I may not have had a high opinion of Cloud Kicker, but directly insulting her wasn’t the way to deal with my negative opinions of her.
Cloud Kicker winced. “Yeah. That.”
I ran a hoof through my mane. “Sorry, that came out wrong.”
“Nothing I haven't thought myself,” she said morosely.
“So why haven't you joined the Guard then?” I asked. “It sounds like something you regret.”
Cloud Kicker ducked under a branch that had grown over the road. “I'd probably just freak out again. Or make a mess of it. Hay, I ran off the first time.”
I frowned at that answer. What was it about her that made her say she wanted to be in the Guard and be an Element of Harmony, but then run away on her graduation day at West Hoof? “You don't like the idea of being in the Guard? Something about the Guard seems to bother you if you’re reacting like this.”
“It’s not that. It’s just...” Cloud Kicker snorted in frustration. “There’s a lot of a stuff that goes into joining the Guard. Family traditions and all that being one of them.”
“Right, that would be hard to break from,” I conceded.
“Going to West Hoof and joining the Guard is kinda a lifelong commitment. Kinda too late to say ‘oops, I changed my mind,’ when it’s graduation day,” she said bitterly.
I put a hoof on her shoulder. “I think I can understand that. I know how hard it can be to deal with high expectations. I’ve kind of lived my entire life under them. It can be a lot of pressure to live under.” I tried to not to think too hard about how I had panicked over being late with a friendship report once.
“Exactly.” Cloud Kicker let out a harsh chuckle. “How's that look in your study?”
“A report is supposed to be neutral in its presentation,” I stated. “It's not supposed to ‘look’ a certain way.”
She gave me a serious look. “Yeah, sure. But every report has it's conclusions.”
“I ... haven't quite made conclusions yet.” I didn’t really want to tell her what I was inclined to write in my report.
Cloud Kicker looked at me with a hopeful smile. “That so?”
I answered her in the most neutral manner I could. “It's best to gather all possible data before making a final conclusion.”
“Fair enough,” she said. “So am I giving better data now?”
I nodded. “Little bit, yeah.” This was certainly going better then the interview I had with Cloud Kicker yesterday.
There was another extended period of silence between us as we continued walking along the road to the lake when Cloud Kicker finally broke it. “Do you know why I am ... the way I am?”
I frowned as I considered the question. “I have no idea, honestly. You’re ... a bit different than most ponies I know.”
Cloud Kicker stopped in the road to face me with a serious expression. “I know it's a hazardous topic, but ... don't you think that's a problem, when it comes to studying me?”
I stopped walking to face her also. “What do you mean?”
“Okay, feel free to not want to answer this.” She rubbed at her face for a moment before continuing. “To be blunt, how can a pony who doesn't know the first thing about sexuality understand a sexual being like me?”
I gave her a deep scowl, not particularly liking where this topic was going. “I think I understand enough about the basics for the purpose of an academic study.”
She shook her head. “You don't understand why I like having sex. You just told me that you don’t really understand why I am the way I am.”
I let out an exasperated sigh. “It's no great secret that intercourse is physically pleasurable.”
Cloud Kicker’s ear flicked. “You think it's just a physical pleasure thing for me?”
“That’s my working theory,” I told her flatly.
“There's more to it than that,” she said with deadly seriousness. “A lot more. Like love, for starters.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Okay, so it can be more. It’s just that it always struck me that you were just looking for a good time, not anything deeper. The problem is that I think you and I have a different understanding of what love is.”
“Oh really?” She gave me a narrowed eye look.
I fell back on familiar academic ground to make my argument. Perhaps outlining our differences on ideas like love would help us understand each other better. “What you seem to define as love seems a lot more casual than what I would normally consider love. Lets take your relationship with Lyra as an example: that strikes me as a relationship built on physical gratification between the two of you.”
“I love Lyra,” she said in an annoyed grumble.
“As a friend or as a lover?” I asked.
Cloud Kicker gave me a flat look. “Both.”
“Would you ever consider marrying her?” I demanded.
Cloud Kicker’s brown furrowed into a scowl. “No, she's with Bon Bon.”
I let out a sigh that I hoped was more patient than annoyed. “Sooo, what? Lyra has a deeper relationship with Bon Bon? Loves her more? I'm not sure I see where your relationship with Lyra is going.”
Cloud Kicker nodded. “Well, yeah. Lyra and Bon Bon love each other on a whole different level.”
I rubbed at my face. The dull throb in my head was building quite nicely by now. “So where does that leave you?”
“Loving them,” she said firmly.
I shook my head and continued down the road, the lake now in sight. “Then what does sex have to do with any of it?”
“It's a good way to show love.” Cloud Kicker trotted to catch up with me.
“But it’s not the only way,” I looked back to her as I trotted along. “I love my friends, but that doesn't mean I'm sleeping with them every chance I get.”
“Well yeah,” she agreed. “Different ponies, different ways to love. Hay, I love Dash, but we've never banged despite being friends for years and years.”
All I could do was shake my head. “You're right, I just don't really understand this aspect of you.” I was pretty much convinced by this point that I was never really going to really get Cloud Kicker. Her understanding of love, sex, and romance just seemed alien to me and how I understood those concepts.
“It's complicated, and hard to explain.” Cloud Kicker gave me a serious look. “Okay, can I ask you a slightly sensitive question? It ... is kinda related to the stuff you said you didn’t really want to talk about, but I’m serious when I say I want to understand you better. I think this is related to me really understanding something about you. If you don’t want to answer, just say so and I’ll drop it. Just like that, and I’ll never bring it up again.”
I considered the question for a moment. Cloud Kicker could ask about anything. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t ask anything to set me off. In the end I decided I could just not answer if I didn’t like the question. “Is this a serious question?”
“Yes,” she said firmly. “I wouldn’t be bringing it up at this point if I didn’t think it was important.”
I closed my eyes before nodding. “Okay, I’ve been probing into your life, so I’ll let you do a bit of the same with me. Fair’s fair, but I’m cutting this off if you abuse it.”
“That’s reasonable.” Cloud Kicker drew in a long breath before continuing. “What is it about the the whole sex and romance thing that bothers you? It’s one thing to say you don’t like something, and it's another to deny a part of yourself and never give it a shot—especially something as important as this. What I’m trying to figure out is which one it is for you.”
“I-I don't know.” I shook my head and looked down at the dirt. “It's ... just not for me.”
“Why not?” she asked gently. “I don’t think it’s physical contact that’s bothering you. Honestly, you mostly just seem like you're not quite sure what to make of romance and sexuality. No offense, but I'd bet every bit I have that you don't have anywhere close to enough experience to really know that it's not for you.”
I sighed, watched the dirt road pass as we walked over it. “It’s ... complicated.” I felt her press reassuringly against my side with her wing. I considered just not answering at all, and telling her that I didn't want to talk about it. But I was growing tired of dancing around issues with Cloud Kicker. There was the chance that explaining one or two things might convince her to act in a way I approved of.“ Can you promise not to go around talking about something to everypony?”
Cloud Kicker gave me a supportive smile. “I promise.”
I took a long breath to steady myself. This was personal information I didn’t like to go around talking about, especially in Ponyville. As a general rule, I didn’t like to talk about myself or sound like a braggart, and what I was about to tell Cloud Kicker was pretty important to me. “A big reason why I don’t get into romance is because I'm a ... noble. Countess of Derbyshire, to be specific.”
Cloud Kicker shot me a cocky grin. “Kinda figured you were. I mean, the Sparkles are a big, old name.”
I looked at her with a skeptical frown. “Wait, you knew?”
Cloud Kicker guided us towards the edge of the lake. “I didn't know your exact rank or anything, but...”
“Ugh!” My hoof met my face as I just realized something that I should have realized a long time ago. “But you do know who my mom is?”
She nodded. “Yeah, duchess of something or another.”
“And that’s why you keep calling me ‘duchess’?” I asked. I really should have seen that one sooner. Shame I had completely dismissed what a nymphomaniac weather pony might actually know. I had hoped I had done a good job of hiding my nobility status here in Ponyville, I had all but forgotten about it half the time myself, but it seemed that wasn’t something so easily put to the side as I had hoped.
“Pretty much.” Cloud Kicker smirked at me. “Also because you’ll always be noble to me.” Her smirk quickly became a pained frown. "Sorry, that sounds kinda bad now that I think about given ... everything."
I felt slightly dizzy. I wished I could blame it just on the hard cider I drank earlier, or the terrible pun Cloud Kicker just made. It had only been a couple mugs. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was feeling so upset that Cloud Kicker had already known, or at least guessed, I was a noble. Maybe it was the flirting she had just done on top of everything else. It had been a long night. “Can we sit down or something? I need to ... ugh.”
“Yeah. There's a nice spot right up here.” She guided us to a comfortable grassy spot right there by the lake, and plopped down on her back.
I sat down next to her and smirked. “Making yourself comfortable there?” I had asked the question to delay having to elaborate on the topic we had just touched on.
“Yeah.” Cloud Kicker looked at me with a goofy grin. “Comfortable beats the alternative.”
“I guess.” I looked up at the starry sky, staring at its many pinpricks of light as I gathered my thoughts. “So, about the noble thing. It's one of the reasons why I haven't done ... any of the things we're talking about.”
Cloud Kickers eyebrow cocked at my statement. “Your family a bit old-fashioned? 'Cause that doesn't really seem to fit with what I've heard...” She winced, probably as she realized what she had said about my family. “Um, no offense, but...”
I frowned deeply at her. “What do you mean, 'doesn't fit with what I've heard?'” A mixture of confusion, anger, and curiosity fought to dominate my emotions.
“Well...” She shifted uncomfortably in her lying position. “Don't take this the wrong way, but your dad does have a bit of a reputation in Canterlot.”
“What type of reputation?” I felt anger starting to win the contest for dominance over my emotions. “Is this the usual Canterlot rumor mongering?” Given how important my family was in Canterlot, it wasn’t exactly surprising that my family had a number of rumors floating around about it. The rumors about my relationship with Princess Celestia alone were enough for me to justify not listening to them. It was easier to just discount anything involving my family.
“Well...” Cloud Kicker coughed before continuing. “Lemme put it this way. I'm about ninety-five percent sure I've banged your half-sister.”
My brain stopped working for an indefinite period of time.
When it got around to processing information again I found myself staring at Cloud Kicker slack-jawed. “W-wha...w-what?!” I had a half-sister? No, that was impossible. Dad would never cheat on Mom. Cloud Kicker had to be wrong somehow. There were a dozen possible explanations I could readily come up with.
Cloud Kicker nodded slowly. “Like I said, I knew Shining Armor at West Hoof. Not like that!” she added hastily before I could say anything. “But if you stand her next to Shining Armor, you'd think they were siblings.”
I forced my spinning thoughts to the side, making myself think about one thing at a time. I wished the buzzing in my head would go away already. “You're certain ... about this half-sister? That I have one? That’s a lot for me to just suddenly accept.”
She nodded slowly. “When I say they looked exactly like each other...” Cloud Kicker sighed and shook her head. “Never mind, it was probably just a coincidence. Bet you could find a dozen DJs in Canterlot who look like your brother.”
“You said you were ninety-five percent sure. You're either certain or you aren't.” My voice had taken on an accusatory tone. She could not just throw an idea out there like that only to withdraw it.
She leaned back away from me. “It’s not like I had any reason to find out...”
“And her name?” I growled.
Cloud Kicker’s ears wilted. “We ... didn't exactly get around to exchanging names. Or if we did, I forgot. It was a one-time thing years ago.”
I groaned loudly and threw my hooves into the air. “Figures. That's just ... great to find out. All of it. And the fact you can’t remember the name of the pony you’re just about convinced is my sister, the one you also slept with, just puts a cherry on top of everything.” I had a feeling my parents and I were about to have a very uncomfortable talk, if Cloud Kicker was right anyways. Cloud Kicker could easily just be leading me on a wild goose chase.
I felt one of my eyes twitching. “Cloud Kicker, if this is one of your jokes...” I briefly considered just how far I could toss a pegasus with my telekinesis. Based on the quick math I did on my head, taking into account my lifting and throwing power, a pegasus of above average height and weight, and current wind speeds, whether said pegasus would clear the lake or not depended on where I threw her, and her form upon me tossing her.
Cloud Kicker held up one of her hooves in front of her. “I'm not messing with you.” She actually sounded dead serious. “Just saying ... well, it’s kinda well known that your father does staff his office with young, attractive mares.”
I didn’t like what she was insinuating. Even if his office staff at the palace consisted almost entirely of attractive, intelligent, young mares, that didn’t mean anything. “What about it? That ... that doesn't prove you’re right. He says he just like to help young mares out at the start of their careers in Canterlot. That’s all.” Cloud Kicker gave me a flat look. “Dad isn't cheating on Mom! He would never do anything like that!”
Cloud Kicker did an unconvinced shrug. “Twilight, if random ponies on the street know about it, your mom does too. I’ve seen your mom, and she doesn’t strike me as the oblivious type.” She rubbed at the back of her head and sighed. “And it's not cheating if she's okay with it.”
My brain was having trouble processing this. Cloud Kicker had to be wrong. She must just have been listening to those rumors that had been around since I had been a filly. “But that's ... why would they .... no...” My ears wilted as I stared down at the grass.
Cloud Kicker flinched. “Sorry, I figured ... I mean, it's pretty common talk all around Canterlot. I thought you already knew.”
“Why would Mom be okay with something like that? Assuming it's even true?” I just couldn’t imagine a strong mare like Mom just accepting Dad cheating on her. Could it be possible that she was fine with it? Why? My parents seemed happy with one another. So why let Dad sleep around? This didn’t make sense to me. My prospects of my next conversation with my parents were getting worse by the minute.
Cloud Kicker sat up from her lying position. “Like I told you before, relationship dynamics can be weird in Canterlot. It kinda happens when marriages can be more about politics and money than love.” She shrugged. “So ponies find alternatives to make them happy.”
I tried to think my way through this. There had to be logical explanation for what I was hearing; I could just dismiss what Cloud Kicker was saying, but I couldn’t think of a good reason for her to lie like that. “But ... Mom and Dad love each other. They say so.”
“And I love Derpy ... and Lyra, and Bon Bon, and Raindrops, and...” She trailed off, probably realizing we would be there for a while if she kept going with that list. “Well, you get the picture.”
I shook my head. “I-I'm not sure I can accept this.”
There was a long silence as the two of us didn’t look at one another before Cloud Kicker stood up and sat down next to me. She opened her wing for me and I got up to walk a few steps away to sit back down again. “Sorry, but I just don’t want you touching me right now.”
Cloud Kicker winced and put her wing back at her side. “Sorry, just ... trying to be there for you.” She applied her hoof to her face. “I don’t get it. Your parents really never talked to you about it? I mean ... Twilight, don't you think it's pretty messed up that I know about this and you don't?”
All I could do was stare at Cloud Kicker before finally turning away. Had my parents really not told me everything about their lives? Had they lied to me? Protected me? Been too ashamed to tell me? I wouldn’t exactly be the first child in Canterlot to find out that her parents had found alternative relationship dynamics to let them be happy. As Cloud Kicker had said, many nobles married for reasons other than love.
A big part of me wanted to dismiss Cloud Kicker’s claim, tell her off, and dust my hooves of her. The problem was that I honestly wasn’t sure what to think after all this information had been dumped on me. She looked like she was telling the truth, and I knew I wasn’t the most socially savvy of ponies. I wanted to review all the facts available to me and see if there had been anything I had missed with my parents, but the facts were spinning around too quickly for me to put them together in a logical fashion. They just spun and jangled around at random in my head.
Cloud Kicker sighed and applied her hoof to her face. “Sorry, I probably should've just kept my mouth shut.”
I rubbed at my face, trying to put facts together. “Well, one of the following possibilities are likely true. One, you're just wrong. Two, you're lying. Three, I'm so blind I can't see what's in front of my face.” I felt a stab when I thought about the last possibility. Was it possible I had missed something important with my parents?
Cloud Kicker was silent for a long moment before speaking. “I wouldn't lie about something like this. That would be beyond cruel, and you don’t deserve something like that.”
I stood up and started pacing around and did the only thing I could think of given the ridiculousness nature of the information I had been given. I loudly groaned out my frustration, and then groaned again. “See, this is pretty much exactly why I don't want to get into any of this messy relationship stuff.”
Cloud watched as I paced back and forth. “What do you mean?”
I spun Cloud Kicker’s direction. “Okay, so hypothetical situation: as a noble, someday I'm going to have an arranged marriage, right?”
Cloud Kicker nodded slowly. “I wouldn't be surprised if your family nudges you towards somepony. Arranged marriages are pretty stupid. That might be my Kicker bias talking, though.”
It wasn’t very surprising she held that sentiment. The Kicker Clan were notable for having a strong bias against nobility. As was the case with Cloud Kicker’s mother, anypony that wanted to marry into the family had to abandon their title, and none had accepted a title offered to them by Princess Celestia.
“We talking arranged marriages? Ignore them,” I heard somepony say from directly behind me. I nearly jumped out of my horseshoes and quickly turned to see Lyra. She gave me a sheepish grin. “Oops, I guess I did kind of sneak up on you two, huh?” She levitated up her lyre for me and Cloud Kicker to see. “Sorry I took a while. Tried to sober up.”
Guess that confirmed my suspicion that Lyra had a few more drinks than I had seen back at the Sun’s Flank if she said she needed time to sober up.
“No worries, Lyra.” Cloud Kicker walked up to stand by Lyra.
I bit down on a comment about leaving without paying for her drinks earlier, but decided to go with the more pressing matter at the moment. “And how long have you been overhearing our conversation?” I asked suspiciously. I considered asking Lyra to leave for what had been private talk, but the cat seemed to be out of the bag by this point. Besides, I didn’t want Lyra to turn right around and gossip around the town.
“Just heard that last bit,” Lyra said. “But really, forget that noble arranged marriage horseapples. It’s lucky that my parents don't care about all that stuff, thank Goddess. And even if my parents told me I couldn't be with the pony I loved, I think I'd probably very easily disown them.”
Cloud Kicker put a hoof on Lyra’s shoulder. “Sweetie, it’s not always that easy when it comes to family.”
I turned away from Lyra and looked out at the lake. “I’m not just going to disown them, Lyra. Maybe your family's opinions don't matter to you, but mine do to me.” I raised a hoof to my face and let out a sigh. “It's not like my parents are going to marry me to some jerk I can't stand. Most likely I'll get a list of suitors, I get to pick from the list, and then we go through a courtship period to make sure we're compatible. That’s how it usually goes.”
“That still sucks.” Lyra plopped her rear down next to Cloud Kicker. “What if you find somepony not on that list? What then?”
Cloud Kicker sat down and wrapped a wing around Lyra. “Then she's in a bad spot.”
I shook my head, still looking out at the lake. “That’s why I don't plan on putting myself into that type of situation.”
“Oooh.” I could feel the realization coming upon Cloud Kicker. “So you're scared you'll fall for a pony you can't have.”
I laid down on the grass opposite of them. “Yeah, pretty much. It’s best for me to not get involved with other ponies to avoid that problem.”
“What?!” Lyra hustled over to me and her muzzle was almost touching my own. “You can't do that! If you find somepony you think like, then you go for her.” She paused for a second and blinked. “Or him. I don't know your preference.”
I put a hoof on Lyra’s muzzle to gently push her away from my comfort zone. “That's not fair to the other pony. What do I tell them? That I can’t really commit to a serious relationship with them? I love them but I can't marry them?” I shook my head. “I can't do that to another pony.”
Cloud Kicker lied a foreleg across Lyra’s withers. “Lyra, sometimes it's a bit more complicated than love conquers all.”
“Love can conquer all,” Lyra grumbled. “It shouldconquer all...”
Cloud Kicker gave Lyra a gentle shake. “Yeah, but she's got her family to think about too.”
I fixed Lyra with a serious stare. “Right, a lot of important political deals go on with marriages like this. Frankly, I'm probably worth quite a bit for a political marriage.” That much was certainly true. Little things like belonging to an important noble family, being the personal student to Princess Celestia herself, and being the Element of Magic added up. Under the right circumstances, my family could gain a great deal from my marriage.
“If her family won't let her marry the pony she loves, then they're...” Lyra grumbled something under her breath. “Stupid, they’re just stupid.”
I stomped a hoof into the grass. “My family is not stupid, Lyra! You have no right to say that about them.”
Lyra winced away from me. “Sorry, sorry... Look, when ponies get in the way of love, it makes me mad, okay?”
It wouldn’t have surprise me if Lyra belonged to a lesser noble house. Many of the lesser houses didn’t hold enough financial or other incentives for a pony to keep up with them, and would readily abandon their title to marry the pony they loved. If that was the case with Lyra, then it wouldn’t be as big of a deal if her house went extinct. It was a common enough occurrence in Equestria. My house wasn’t likely to pass into the history books if I abandoned my title, given that Shining Armor was the principal heir of House Sparkle, but it could still hurt my family a great deal. That wasn’t something I was going to do lightly.
I put a hoof up to calm her. “It’s fine, really. It’s not like I can't find a special somepony with how things work. Plenty of nobles find love among one another. While not a large group statistically to the rest of Equestria, the absolute number of nobles is still significant. I could very well find somepony of sufficient rank and availability to marry.”
Cloud Kicker glowered at Lyra, “I love you, sweetie, but maybe you shouldn't talk so lightly about a pony abandoning her family. If she doesn’t want to get romantically involved with anypony because of family, then that’s her choice. I may not agree with it, but at the end of the day that’s her decision.” Lyra’s ears flattened, and she looked down, guiltily.
I found that to be an interesting comment from a pony who had abandoned the family business. Granted, that didn’t mean she had outright abandoned her family, just their occupation. I made a note to ask Cloud Kicker a question along these lines in the future.
I groaned loudly. “See, I can't even talk about this without ponies getting upset!”
Cloud Kicker shifted over to lie next to me. “How about we change the subject? I think we’ve said all that’s going to be said about this.”
Lyra and Cloud Kicker exchanged a look before Lyra gave me a serious nod. “It's fine, Twilight. I'm just a silly pony.”
I rubbed at my face, happy that the conversation was moving away from a topic I did not like to talk about. “Yeah. It's ... fine, Lyra. It's my problem. You don't need to worry about it.”
Lyra laid on the ground a little bit opposite of me. “I feel I do because I consider you my friend. I look out for my friends. Especially about their love lives.”
That comment made me raise an eyebrow. When did Lyra start to consider me a friend? We had just met earlier that night. Also I wasn’t exactly wild about another pony who I had just met taking an active interest in my romantic prospects. Perhaps she was somewhat like Pinkie Pie, in that she took an active interest in everypony she met?
I took a long breath to make sure I was calm before I spoke. “You’re concerned, I get that. Obviously this is an important topic to you, and I respect that. But this is my decision to make, and I’ve made it.”
Lyra’s ears drooped slightly but she nodded. “Yeah, okay. I don’t like it, but I understand.”
There was a moment of silence between us before Cloud Kicker spoke. “Twilight, we're friends, right?”
That question almost caused me to jerk. “I can’t really say we’re friends now.” I shrugged. “I guess we could be friends someday. Anything’s possible.”
Lyra shot me a skeptical look. “You guess we could be friends someday?” I felt a twinge of annoyance at that comment.
“Lyra, don't push her too much, okay?” Cloud Kicker gave Lyra a firm look. “She’s had a rough day already.” She rubbed at her face with a hoof. “And that’s in no small part because I’m messing this up. Sorry, Twilight.”
Lyra rubbed at her mane. “Yeah, sorry ... I'm being bad tonight.”
“It’s ... fine. Sorry, I'm still not great at the friendship thing.” I rubbed at my eye. This was turning out to be a long day for me. “What I meant was that saying somepony is a friend is a big deal to me. So I don’t just throw that term around, and right now I need some room.”
“For what it’s worth, Lyra and I consider you to be a friend.” Cloud Kicker glanced at Lyra and she nodded in agreement. “And since we're your friends, we care about your happiness.”
Lyra gave me a reassuring smile. “Mhm.” She started to pluck away at her lyre, creating a soft melody that complemented the environment nicely.
I let out an annoyed huff. This night really could have gone better. “Right, and ponies want their friends to be happy. I understand where you’re coming from.”
“Yeah.” Cloud Kicker guided my head to her chest. “So ... I really hope you are happy and continue to be happy.”
I turned my head to look up at Cloud Kicker. “Of course I am. Like I said, I have a lot of reasons to be happy.” Sure, everything might not be perfect in my life, but that was true of everypony.
Cloud Kicker ran her hoof through her mane. “Having a lot of reasons to be happy isn't the same as being happy.”
Lyra kept strumming away at that song absent mindedly. “Yeah, there can be that 'block' that prevents you from being truly happy.”
I snorted. “Okay, now you're both nitpicking. Yes, I'm happy. I've never been more happy minus some of this recent craziness.”
“Alright, if you say so, Duchess.” Cloud Kicker sat next to Lyra and draped a wing over her. “Really, if you want me to back off for a few days and let you—”
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” I heard somepony sneer. Lyra’s playing ended with a sudden off note, and I lifted my head to see a pair of large earth ponies walking our direction. I frowned at the two ponies that were ruining what was becoming an enjoyable night out by the lake.
“I think it’s that feathin' whorse, Sticks” the dark blue earth pony mocked, pointing at Cloud Kicker.
Cloud Kicker blinked and looked up at the two of them to give them an even stare. “You two really want to move along.”
Lyra shot the two of them an annoyed scowl. “Yeah, get out of here, you jerks.”
The yellow earth pony’s mouth turned up into a nasty grin. “Oh, and why should we?”
“Ooh, I'm shaking in my horseshoes, Stones.” The one called Sticks shook his knees in a mocking gesture.
I looked to Cloud Kicker with a raised eyebrow. “You know these two?”
“Just the local town bullies,” Cloud Kicker said quietly. “I had words with them a few years ago, when they were harassing Derpy. Thought they took the hint about messing with me or any of my friends, but it looks like they’re as dense as always.” She stood up and spoke up loudly enough for everypony to hear. “And they’re ruining what's been a very pleasant evening, so far.”
Stones walked a little closer to us and sneered. “Yeah, I’m sure we’re ruining the whorse bucking her two whorse friends.” Listening to the two of them I could hear them slurring their words. My suspicions were quickly confirmed by the smell of alcohol that came with their close proximity.
Lyra stood up and looked between the two bullies with a scowl. “Yeah, just a couple of plotheads.” She lowered her head and spoke in a low voice, waving a hoof in front of her nose. “And they’ve been having a few more then they can handle, if you get what I mean.”
“You wanna say that to my face!” Sticks stepped up so that he was almost muzzle to muzzle with Lyra.
Lyra snorted loudly, not backing down from the stallion. “It's hardly worth the effort.”
“You better shut your mouth, horn head!” Sticks roughly shoved Lyra back. Lyra, for her part, looked at Sticks with an unimpressed look.
“Okay, you guys really need to back off.” I stepped up to little closer to the offending duo. “This is getting silly.” I really didn’t like bullies, and these two weren’t exactly improving my opinion of them. I certainly wasn’t going to let a couple of small town thugs intimidate me.
Cloud Kicker let out an exasperated sigh. “Let's just go somewhere we can have a little privacy, shall we?”
“What’s the matter, whorse!?” Stones gave Cloud Kicker a hard push.
“Don't do that, Stones,” Cloud Kicker said with deliberate calmness. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her dig her hoof into the ground and scooped up some loose sand. “Let's not do anything stupid.”
I put up a hoof to Sticks and Stones in a calming gesture. “How about you two stop being a couple childish bullies and back off. This isn’t school and you’re not intimidating us. So how about you two get out of here?”
I didn’t like the menacing scowl Stones gave me, and I started to wonder just how far these two really were willing to push things.
“Twilight, Lyra, could you come over here?” It wasn’t so much question as a gentle request in a heated situation. The two bullies didn’t look like they were willing to back down, and the tension was escalating much faster than was comfortable.
I turned my head to nod a confirmation to Cloud Kicker when there was a sudden movement out of the corner of my eye. I wondered what that blur approaching my head was—right up to the moment it collided with my face. My vision exploded into stars when Stones sucker punched me. The next sensation I got was of myself lying on the ground, the world covered in more stars and jerking around in my vision.
“Big mistake!” Cloud Kicker kicked up her forehooves and sand and dirt flew into Sticks and Stones’s eyes. Each of them let out cries of pain and surprised and started pawing at their eyes on reflex.
I noticed through my star-filled vision Lyra’s hand spell grab onto Sticks’s mane and start to yank on it. Sticks alternated between rubbing at his eyes and swinging his forehooves wildly in Lyra’s direction. Lyra quickly backed away from the wildly swinging stallion. Her movements were far from a practiced soldier, but plenty to keep her from being slugged.
“Com'ere ya puke-covered whorse!” Sticks screamed.
Cloud Kicker dashed past Stones as he tried to get the sand out of his eyes. She bucked out and one of her hooves hit Stones in the groin. Stones let out a yelp of pain that was a significant number of octaves higher than his normal speaking voice and fell to the ground, clutching between his legs.
I started to wonder why I was continuing to lay on the ground when Cloud Kicker and Lyra were in trouble. I tried to move but dizziness and nausea kept me in place. I rubbed at my wet cheek and wondered how it had gotten wet to start with. I withdrew my hoof from my cheek when it stung painfully and looked at it, finding it smeared with a red stain—blood.
Cloud Kicker galloped to stand between Lyra and Sticks. “Lyra, go get the gendarmes!”
“Gotcha!” Lyra nodded and started galloping off somewhere for some reason. I wasn’t sure, I just wanted the mounting pain in my head to stop.
Sticks blinked a few times and his lips peeled from his teeth in a snarl. “Buck you, Cloud! Buck you to feathin' Tartarus!” he yelled, spittle actually flying from his lips.
Cloud Kicker crouched down into a fighting stance, wings outstretched. “Alright, Stones. Two options. Either lie down on the ground and wait for the gendarmes, like a good little colt, or this gets painful for you.”
Sticks growled in a manner that made him sound more bestial than a pony. “I said buck you, Cloud! It’s payback time for that stupid lightning cloud!”
Cloud Kicker slowly circled Sticks and stared at him intently. “You do realize you just assaulted Princess Celestia's star pupil, don't you? Do you have any idea how screwed you are?”
I was hurt and knew it. I wasn’t quite sure how badly, but the situation wasn’t going to be helped by me just lying there on the ground. I moaned in pain and tried to roll onto my stomach. All that did for me is make the world spin around wildly, and I fell back to my side. Stupid spinny world.
Sticks’s slow and plodding steps towards Cloud Kicker became hesitant and then stopped. “Huh? Y-you're lyin'! It’s your word against ours.”
“Geeze, I wonder who they'll believe?” Cloud Kicker said mockingly. “The town ne'er-do-wells, or the Princess' personal student and the pony who's probably related to at least one of them?”
Sticks took a cautious step back. “You're just chicken. Ya know we can take ya!” He glanced over to Stones, whom seemed content to moan in pain and clutched at his nether region.
Sticks lunged at Cloud Kicker. He struck out with a right hoof in a straightforward strike, but Cloud intercepted and parried the blow to the side. She followed the parry up with a uppercut to Sticks’ throat. His eyes bulged and he held up a hoof to his throat as he gasped for breath.
Cloud Kicker sidestepped to position herself at an angle to the struggling Sticks. She threw a precisely-aimed punch at the foreknee that Sticks was using to support the upper-half of his body. There was a crack of bone and Sticks tumbled to the ground, gasping and spasming painfully.
She backed up slowly from Sticks and Stones and over to me. “Duchess, you okay?”
I moaned pitifully. Another attempt to try and get up resulted in the world spitefully spinning on me. “What ... Ugh...” For some reason I couldn’t get my brain and mouth to cooperate for whatever I was going to say. I’m sure what I was going to say was important, whatever it was.
Cloud Kicker looked between her crippled opponents. Each were lying where they had fallen wailing pitifully. She lay down next to me and started looking me over. “Don’t worry, it’s going to be alright. Just lie still for me, okay?”
I gave up on trying to get up and rubbed at my wet cheek, and it burned at the touch. “What’s ... You okay?” I felt sick and wanted to throw up. Either that or just close my eyes.
Cloud Kicker groaned in frustration. “Buck, looks like a concussion.”
“Twilight. Twilight!” She lifted my head up and I looked at her. “Look at me. Stay awake. The gendarmes will be here soon!”
“Cloud...” I moaned.
She lifted me up to her chest. “Yeah, what is it?”
A cold fear gripped my heart, and I jerked into a sitting position. Confusion, pain, and disorientation swept over me as I failed to recognize where I was. The room was unfamiliar, its white walls and vinyl flooring alien and sterile to my senses. My breathing came in ragged gasps as I tried to remember how I came to be here. My head stung with pain, furthering my disorientation and difficulty gathering my thoughts.
I instinctively reached with my magic, but found that I couldn’t draw on it. My fear quickly devolved into a panic. I was blind in one eye, and I couldn’t use my magic! I found myself struggling against the blankets that held me in place on the bed.
A pair of hooves pressed down on my shoulders from my blind side pushed me back down. I struggled against whoever was pushing me, but I felt weak against the hooves, and the painful pounding in my head sapped my strength.
“Miss Twilight, please calm down,” an authoritative male voice called out. “Everything’s alright. You’re safe.”
I placed my hooves over my face, wanting to curl up and cry. My heart raced. Where was I? Why couldn’t I see? What was this pain from? Why couldn’t I use magic?
I wasn’t sure how long it was before I realized I had been sobbing into a pillow, feeling a hoof rubbing at my back. Utterly drained despite just waking up, I took in a long breath, I collected myself. Memories, if jumbled and disjointed, from the previous night came back to me. The disastrous trainwreck of a night out with Cloud Kicker, the encounter with Sticks and Stones ... I felt sick as everything came back to me and my hoof drifted to where I had been slugged. Bandages covered my face around my cheek and my eye.
“Are you all right?” asked the stallion from before. I turned to see a unicorn with a light brown coat wearing a doctor’s jacket. I realized I must be in the hospital.
I nodded and immediately regretted the motion because it made my head hurt. I leaned my head back onto my pillow and covered my good eye to block out the painful sunlight.
The doctor leaned closer to me and spoke quietly. “How are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”
“Thirsty,” I managed to get out. “Head hurts.”
“Let me get you some water.” The doctor telekinetically poured some water into a small plastic cup from the hospital room faucet and offered it to me. “I’m Doctor Feelgood, by the way.”
“Um, thanks.” On reflex, I tried to grip the cup with my own telekinesis, but then was stopped short by some sort of block. I tentatively reached up to find a ring of metal wrapped around the base of my horn.
The doctor gave me a friendly smile. “It’s just a magic inhibitor ring, Miss Twilight. Standard procedure to put one on a unicorn who’s been admitted, so you have nothing to worry about.” I let out a patient sigh and gripped the cup carefully with my hooves and drank. Even the lukewarm water felt good to my parched throat.
He was, of course, right. Any number of things could go wrong with injured, scared, sick, drugged, or disorientated unicorns and their magic. It was simply safer both for patient and hospital staff to place inhibitor rings, like the one I was wearing, on every unicorn admitted to a hospital. Princess Celestia had even arranged for Ponyville Hospital to possess a higher-grade adamantine inhibitor ring in the event I had a medical emergency. A normal inhibitor ring likely wouldn’t be enough to contain my magic if I really pushed for it.
I rubbed my forehead, my hoof brushing up against the bandages covering the right side of my face as I tried to gather my thoughts through the haze my headache was causing. I concentrated in order to think through my situation logically before speaking. “So ... what happened? How did I get here?”
Doctor Feelgood gave me a reassuring smile. Cynically, he probably had a lot of practice at it. “You were brought in by Life Flight during the middle of the night. From what I heard, you and a couple friends of yours were accosted by the lake.”
“Right. So, um...” My hoof found its way to the bandages over my eye. I felt a terrible pit in my stomach as I remembered the hazy fear from the previous night. Memories of lying on the ground hurt, bleeding, and blind came back vividly. “H-how bad i-is it?”
The doctor gently pulled my hoof away from my eye and down to my side. “Let me double-check your chart.” He levitated a clipboard from the end of the bed and started looking it over. “So here’s how it is. When you were brought in, your cheek was lacerated, your cheekbone was broken, and there was major swelling along the cheek and eye socket.” He flipped to another sheet on the clipboard. “Further examination determined that you had suffered a concussion and— probably most worrying—a detached retina.”
My heart clenched at the diagnosis. The world felt like a distant background as the weight of what I was being told pressed down on me. Logically, I knew that being hit by Stones like that hadn’t been good for me, but to have it all laid out in stark terms was another thing entirely. I felt myself shaking as my already shaky nerves frayed. My eye had been hurt, badly by the sound of things. What if I was blind in it, or my vision was at least severely hampered? How would that affect my ability to read? One of my private fears was that I would somehow become blind and unable to read. That was a bit silly considering I could always learn how to read with braille, but it wouldn’t be the same.
“Don’t worry. You’re alright now,” the doctor said reassuringly. “We started treating you the minute you came in, and we identified the injuries you sustained. We used some ice and magic to bring down the swelling, close the laceration, and heal your cheekbone. Any scarring you might have will likely be covered up by your coat. We also healed the damage from the concussion.” He looked up from the chart to give me an amused smirk. “It seems you have some very important friends; a specialist was flown in during the night from Canterlot to work on your detached retina.”
I had to wonder exactly who had heard about my injuries so quickly from all the way in Canterlot. The list of likely suspects wasn’t particularly long, though it was a bit disquieting to know that my life was being that closely monitored. Part of me wanted to mull that over, but it felt secondary next to the idea of my eye being injured.
“S-so is my eye…?” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the question.
“The specialist said that the surgery was a success.” The doctor looked at the chart again and frowned. “Though she was concerned by what looked like previous trauma to your right eye. She’ll be back in Ponyville in a couple of days to remove those bandages and give you a thorough eye exam to make sure everything is fine. Be careful with it in the meantime. It’s a sensitive organ, after all.”
I nodded slowly, taking in the information I was being given. “I’ll keep that in mind. So my eye is going to be fine?”
The doctor’s paternal smile returned. “That’s what I’m reading right here.” He tapped the clipboard for emphasis. “Though the bandage is going to have to stay on for a couple of days—doctor’s orders. It’s been magically enchanted to expedite healing and protect your eye from irritation.”
I let out a sigh of relief. I was going to be able to see. Most likely, anyways. That was no small bit of good news. “Thank you. That’s good to hear.”
“Just doing my job.” Doctor Feelgood levitated the clipboard back to the end of the bed. “Though you really do need to take better care of yourself. I’ve seen your medical file, and it’s big enough to fill its own drawer in our office.”
“I’m not that bad am I?” The doctor gave me an incredulous look.
Sure, I had gotten a bit beat up over my lifetime. Especially over the last couple of years. There had been all the bumps and bruises from the night Nightmare Moon returned, and then there had been the broken bones and other injuries from trying to study Pinkie’s Pinkie Sense. Then I had gotten thrown around during the incident with the hydra. Winter Wrap Up had not been a kind day. Nor had Discord’s return been at all pleasant. Then I had run myself ragged when I had a minor freakout over being late on that friendship report.
On reflection, maybe I could stand to take better care of myself.
“I’ll keep that advice in mind,” I replied, giving the doctor a generic line I’m sure he had heard a million times by this point in his career.
“Right.” Doctor Feelgood took a couple steps towards the door. “In any event, it looks like you’ll be in good enough shape to check out of the hospital later today. That said, I would really prefer if you stayed with friends or family for the next day or so in the event there are complications. You did receive quite a bump there. A few of your friends have been waiting for you. If you’d like, I could send them in.”
The thought of seeing my friends instantly brightened my mood. “Yes, I would really like that.”
The doctor nodded and opened the door to my room. “I’ll tell them that you’re awake and ready to see them.”
I didn’t have to wait more than a couple of minutes before it felt like a stampede had found its way to my room.
“Twilight!” Spike cried out as he burst into the room. Without missing a beat, he hopped onto my bed and grasped me around the neck in a hug. I wrapped him in my own hug and took a nice, long moment to enjoy my number one assistant being there. It was good to see him again after everything that had happened.
If Spike had beaten Rainbow Dash into the room, it had only been by only the slimmest of margins. Her wings twitched irritably, and her movements were swift and erratic. “Twilight! I heard what happened! Are you okay?”
I winced at the sudden noise, and I was reminded of the constant throbbing going on in my head. “Please, not so loud.”
“Sorry,” Dash said in a harsh whisper.
I was so distracted by Dash and hugging Spike that I almost didn’t see the pale yellow blur all but tackling me with a hug. “Oh, Twilight! We were so worried!” Fluttershy gave Spike and me a squeeze.
“I wasn’t scared,” Spike said, a slight quiver in his voice. “I-I was just ... you know? I didn’t want anything bad to happen to you.” He squeezed me harder and buried his face into my neck. He would probably deny it, but I felt a small pair of wet spots on my neck.
I kissed Spike on the forehead. It really was nice to have everypony there. “I’m fine, really.”
“You, uh...” Dash glanced around as she bit her lower lip. “You okay? I mean, I know you're not okay—you're in a hospital for pony's sake! But...”
I gave everypony the best reassuring smile I could through all the hugs I was being given. “The doctor said everything will be alright. There’s no need to worry.”
Dash fluttered over to the right side of my bed. “Twi, half your head is wrapped up like one of Pinkie's presents!” Okay, so she did have a point. I didn’t exactly look like the healthiest of ponies right at that moment. My headache wasn’t helping me put on a brave face, either. Magical healing could clear up the worst of a severe injury, but it still left a fair share to be healed naturally. Additionally, magical healing tended to be draining to the recipient. I could only imagine what my mane and coat looked like at that point, considering I hadn’t had any opportunity to groom myself yet.
Pinkie nodded in vigorous agreement. “It’s true! You look exactly like that one present I wrapped when I ran out of wrapping paper and had to use all the bandages in the bathroom cabinet instead!” She put down a confectionary box in front of me. “Also, I brought you some get-better cupcakes.” Opening the box, she showed me some cupcakes with frosting the same color as my mane and coat. “All for you! Though if you wanna share, you can do that too. They’re your cupcakes, after all!”
“Thanks, Pinkie.” I took one of the cupcakes and took a bite out of it. I didn’t want Pinkie to start fretting that I might not like her get-better cupcakes—then she might start doing something extreme, and I wasn’t in the mood for a big party.
“You look positively ghastly right now.” Rarity cleared her throat and looked away as she ran a hoof through her mane. “Not that it’s your fault, of course. That falls on those two ruffians who accosted you.”
Rainbow Dash let out a growl and slammed her forehooves together. “When I get my hooves on Sticks and Stones, they're going to look like one of Rarity's pincushions after Opal's gotten through with it!”
Applejack tipped her hat forward, giving a fierce look to the way her eyes shone. “Can’t say Ah would be against givin’ those two good-fer-nothins a good buck to the head. Those two were always causin’ trouble at the market. Had to tell the two of them to git every so often. The cretins even drove poor Carrot Top to tears a couple o’ years ago. Big Mac had a word with them not to do that anymore.”
The topic of Sticks and Stones reminded me of how fuzzy my memories of some of the events of the last night were. Stupid brain-damaging concussion. “What even happened to those two? I ... don't exactly remember.”
Rarity looked at me with concern. “The last I heard, those two ruffians were about to be escorted onto the next train to Canterlot by the gendarmes.”
Dash’s features contorted into a dark scowl. “They should be escorted under the train.”
Applejack went to the window and opened the blinds, causing me to blink from the sudden, painful source of light. “Ain't that the truth. Can’t say a single good thing ‘bout neither of them. Wish Ah gave those two a good buck to the head a long time ago.”
I was perhaps the last pony to ask, given what Sticks and Stones had done to me, but I had to wonder how those two had generated this much hatred towards themselves. “Are they really that bad? I’ve heard a couple stories, but they still have to be ponies, right? Not monsters.”
Rarity let out a disapproving huff. “They did cause enough trouble in my boutique one time to justify me calling the gendarmes to kindly escort them away.”
Pinkie put on a surprisingly angry scowl. “And you better believe they never tip when they go to the Sugarcube! Oh, and they called Mrs. Cake fat, which is super-not-nice. Of course she was big to carry around two foals in her tummy. Duh!”
“I saw them kick a puppy once,” said Fluttershy, disappointment mixed with a simmering anger. “That made me so upset.”
I offered Spike a cupcake from the box, and he pulled one out. “I ... didn’t realize they were quite that bad. I don’t really remember seeing them in the library.”
Applejack gave me a flat look. “Do they strike ya as the reading types, Twi?”
“Touché.” I had a hard time arguing with that.
“Should've given them a thorough plot-kicking after they called Derpy a whorse, way back when.” Dash let out a growl. “Shouldn't have let them off so easy. They hurt Twilight! If it wasn't for Cloud Kicker and Lyra, they could've—they could've even...”
Applejack tipped her hat forward as she put on a menacing scowl. “Ah'm sure the princesses will make sure those two get what's comin' to them.”
That was probably true. I didn’t like the idea of the justice system turning differently on my account, but Sticks and Stones had broken the law. Also, what would somepony think was going to happen when they assaulted the personal student of the reigning monarchs of Equestria and the little sister of the Captain of the Royal Guard? I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that the Powers That Be decided to make an example of the two. At least Cloud Kicker and Lyra were okay. From the sounds of it neither of them had been hurt anyways.
“Twi...” Dash’s wings fluttered open and closed and she ground her hooves into the floor. She seemed caught halfway between wanting to fly off and wanting to break something. “What about the eye? How bad is it? Why’s that ring on your horn?”
“It’s just a magic inhibitor.” I pointed to said ring on my head. “It’s keeping me from casting anything while I’m at the hospital. They’ll take it off when I leave. And the hospital has already dealt with the concussion and detached retina so—”
Dash’s eyes went widened. “The what?” she yelled aloud enough to make me worry that every pony on the entire floor had heard.
“That’s awful!” Fluttershy reaffirmed her hug right as it looked like she was about to stop... Not that I was really complaining. It was nice to get some comfort from my closest friends after what I just went through. Especially from Fluttershy and Spike.
Spike looked up at me in horror. “Are you gonna be okay?! Please tell me you aren’t blind!”
I drew Spike into a tighter hug while raising a hoof to Dash in a calming motion. Multitasking comforting the ponies around you is almost surprisingly difficult. “There’s no reason to worry. A specialist came to Ponyville and cleared it up. I only need to wear these bandages a few days to be on the safe side.”
“But it’s detached!” Dash said, sounding panicked. “It’s your eye! I-it can't happen to you ... not to you too!” She looked like she was on the verge of hyperventilating.
Fluttershy let go of her hug and walked over to Dash in order to give her a wing hug. “Rainbow Dash, please, calm down. Acting like this won’t make Twilight feel any better.” She nuzzled Dash to try and calm her down.
“I just ... her ... her eye ... can't...” Dash all but collapsed onto the side of my bed, forcing me to scoot aside to give her room.
I felt a great deal of concern for my friend as I watched her eyes water and Fluttershy try and comfort her. I wondered why she was becoming so upset over this. One would think I would be the one most upset over my injury. Sometimes the world didn’t make sense.
I put my hoof on Rainbow Dash’s to reassure her. “Hey, like I said, it’s going to be fine.”
Dash looked up at me, wiping at her eyes. “You promise that you're going to be okay, Twi?”
I smiled warmly at her. “I promise.”
“Good, you just focus on getting better, Twi.” Dash snapped out of her state of melancholy and gave me a look of fierce determination. “Once you’re back up to snuff, I'm going to teach you how to defend yourself properly.”
I felt a twinge of annoyance. It wasn’t like I wasn’t capable of defending myself if I had to. “I think I have some idea of how to take care of myself, Dash.”
I could have taken care of Sticks and Stones pretty easily if I hadn’t been sucker punched. I hadn’t really even considered the two of them to be much of a threat. Maybe going up against the likes of dragons, hydras, Nightmare Moon, and Discord just made it hard for me to consider a couple two-bit bullies in a small town as serious threats.
Dash pointedly looked around the hospital room. “Oh yeah. Totally getting that. Nah, you're learning how to fight, not just relying on your magic for everything.”
Rarity hummed to herself as she gave me an appraising look. “I do have to admit, there isn’t anything wrong with a lady being able to take care of herself in a pinch.”
I let out a groan of irritation and rubbed my forehead. “I'm not going to talk you out of this, am I?” Once Dash got an idea in her head, it was notoriously difficult to get it back out of there. Nopony just told Rainbow Dash what could and could not happen.
“Not. A. Chance.” Dash fluffed my pillow and straightened my sheets. “By the time I'm through with you, you'll eat lightning and fart thunderbolts. ‘Sides, you could use the exercise.”
I felt a flash of irritation towards my friend. “First, ‘lightning’ and ‘thunderbolts’ are synonyms for massive electromagnetic discharges. They’re the same thing.”
Dash waved my complaint off. “I know that. He-llooo, Ponyville weather manager here. It’s just a cool saying.”
I fixed Dash with an annoyed scowl, not bothering to answer her reply. “And second, what do you mean I could ‘use the exercise’?”
“Just ... y'know.” Dash gently prodded my belly. “Sedentary lifestyle kinda catches up with you.”
I slapped Dash’s hoof away. “I'm not fat!”
“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity let out a huff. “You simply do not comment about a lady's weight. It’s unseemly.”
“You're not! I didn't!” Dash looked around the hallway to see a number of mares giving her looks ranging from unhappy to scowls. “You just have a bit of a ... y'know. Pudge.” She moved her forehooves together, leaving a small space between them. “Tiny bit.”
Fluttershy placed a hoof on my shoulder. “I think you look fine.” She then looked me up and down like she was checking the health of one of her animals. “Though everypony can always stand to be a bit healthier by getting more exercise.”
Fluttershy may just have passively told me that I needed to lose a bit of weight. That hurt a bit.
I decided to move the conversation in another direction. I knew Dash meant well, but I wasn’t so sure I was wild about the idea of whatever she had in mind for self-defense training. She never did anything by half-measures, and if I wasn’t careful I could find myself wrestling bears or some other ridiculous thing. Maybe she would just forget about this if we talked about something else. Also, for the record, I’m not overweight. I am within statistically acceptable ranges for height and weight according to the Equestrian Department of Health.
“So, the doctors say they're going to let me out of the hospital soon. They just want me to stay with family or friends for the night in the event of complications.” Spike looked up at me with aghast horror when I mentioned that I might end up with more problems with my eye. “The unlikely event of complications,” I amended, giving Spike another hug. “We’re just playing it safe.”
“If you say so, Twilight,” Spike said, still clearly worried. “I just want you to be safe.”
With Dash’s spirits now back to normal, Fluttershy turned to nuzzle Spike. “Don’t worry, the doctors are making sure Twilight will be all better, and we’re here for her too.”
Dash bit down on her lower lip. “Well ... you're not allowed to have any complications. So there.”
I couldn’t help but grin. “I'll keep that in mind. But really, I’m ready to get out of here.” I slid off the bed onto shaky hooves as my legs got used to supporting my weight and blood flowing in them again. Dash and Fluttershy were on either side of me before I knew it, ready to support me.
Fluttershy carefully pressed her body against mine. “Now, be careful. We don't want to see you get hurt again.”
“I can walk, really.” My legs still felt shaky as I took my first steps, but I managed to keep from falling over at least. “Just need to stretch my legs a little bit.”
Dash’s body tensed, no doubt ready to move in an instant should I start falling over. “Easy there, Twi ... s'not a race.”
I gave Dash an amused smirk. “You of all ponies are saying that something isn't a race?”
Dash’s wings twitched slightly. “Well, it's not. You are hurt! And you can't use magic, and you only have one eye. A three-year-old is probably better off than you.” Her mouth curved up into a shaky grin. “I'd be more than happy to beat your purple plot in one, once you’re better.” Dash hopped off of the bed. “But not before you're completely better, you don't want to make your injuries worse.”
“C’mon, sugarcube.” Applejack stood next to me to give me support. “Let’s get ya out of here.”
Rarity gave the green hospital smock a disgusted look as I took it off. She had never been a fan of the aesthetics of Ponyville Hospital. “Yes, we simply must get you to the spa. It doesn’t look like your mane has been properly groomed in a day or two. Trust me, in a couple of hours you will feel like a new mare, and you can put all that late unpleasantness behind you.”
Upon reflection, I did feel a little grimy. “I could just go home and take a shower. No need to do something elaborate.” Though there were practical problems with cleaning myself with this bandage on my head. I would probably have to do something like put a shield up over half my head so that I didn’t soak the bandages through.
Rarity shook her head. “I insist, we simply musttake you to the spa. You are in desperate need of some pampering. My treat.”
Dash grinned at me. “I could get a rain cloud, drench ya, and then give you a Rainblow-Dry.”
“Absolutely not!” Rarity’s eyes widened in horror. “I saw what that did to Twilight’s mane last time you did that. You are simply not going to inflict such a horror on her again.”
I made my way towards the door before my friends could come up with any other ideas. “Let’s just get out of here.” I had been to the hospital enough times to get a good impression of it, and I did not find it to my liking.
“We really should think about who you're going to be staying with tonight, Twilight,” Rarity said, following me along with everypony else. “Those were your doctor’s orders, after all.”
I considered objecting to being treated like a child who couldn’t take care of herself, but it was likely an argument I wasn’t going to win, given my injured state. I hadn’t gotten a good look in the mirror, but I was going to guess I looked like—well, a pony who had just gotten her face beaten in. Also my head hurt too much to really want to get into an argument. Compliance sounded like it would just hurt less in this case.
Spike placed a claw on my shoulder, staying at my side as we made our way to the hospital front desk. “Hey, I can take care of her just fine.”
Rarity smiled at Spike—a smile that probably sent the little dragon’s heart aflutter. “I know, Spikey-Wikey, everypony knows you’re so mature for your age”— Spike swooned at the compliment from Rarity —“but having an extra pair of hooves on standby will probably be for the best. Better safe than sorry, yes?”
“I guess so,” Spike said less confidently. “I just want Twilight to be alright.”
“Don’t worry, Spike.” I leaned down to nuzzle him. “I’m going to be fine, honest.” I really did feel bad about worrying him. He didn’t deserve to be scared like this. I could only imagine how awful he had felt when he first heard the news.
“You can stay at my home for the night,” Rarity said. “I've got the room, and it isn't far from here.”
“She can come to Sweet Apple Acres too,” Applejack said, inserting herself forcefully. “We’d be more than happy to treat Twi to some hospitality.”
Fluttershy wrapped a wing across my back, and it felt nice to be comforted by the gesture. “I wouldn't mind if Twilight stayed at my home.”
“Our friend was hurt just last night,” Rarity objected. “Surely neither of you want us to drag her all the way out to your homes when we have other options.”
“I suppose my home is a bit too far away.” Fluttershy scrapped a hoof along the floor. “I don't want Twilight to get tired when she's already hurt.”
Dash shot in front of everypony making us all stop in the hallway. “Hey, my place is the safest. Nothing can touch her up in the sky! Plus it's way more awesome.”
“And how do you expect her to get up there?” Rarity asked. “Twilight doesn’t have wings, you know.”
“I can fly her up! Duh!” Dash started hovering to make her point. “Besides, she's a lightweight!”
Rarity was forced to sidestep as an orderly tried to get past all of us. “Really, Dash. Do you think now is the time to be jostling her around?”
“Oh yeah?” Dash crossed her forelegs in front of her chest. “How long will it be until you’re jabbing her with pins, trying to get her to try on a new outfit?”
“She would be my guest!” Rarity narrowed her eyes at Dash. “I wouldn't put the darling through more than she's ready for. Really, the best thing for her right now is rest and relaxation.”
Dash nodded smugly. “Right, and I've got the most restful and relaxed place ever!”
Applejack fixed Dash with a skeptical frown. “Are ya saying mah home ain't relaxing? Because there’s nothin’ more relaxing than a day on the farm.”
Dash gave Applejack a flat look. “Three words: Cutie. Mark. Crusaders.”
Applejack looked ready to snap back with a reply but then closed her mouth as she thought over the mention of three of the noisiest fillies I had ever known. It wasn’t exactly a secret that their clubhouse sat right on Applejack’s farm. “That's a good point.” Dash beamed a confident smile at her friend giving in. That was the thing about being the Element of Honesty, Applejack usually found herself agreeing whenever somepony else made a good point—at least as long as her stubborn streak hadn’t kicked in.
Rarity’s ear flicked with annoyance. “I just don't want her to be jostled around any more than she already has been.”
I supposed I could have mentioned that I could just teleport to Dash’s house if need be, but I really wasn’t in the mood to jump into this argument. I had other things on my mind as I walked up to the front desk of the hospital and requested whatever paperwork they needed me to sign. I really wanted to get the inhibitor ring off my horn, at the very least.
“I can be careful,” Dash pouted. “Ya think I wouldn’t be careful with one of my best friends ever?”
Rarity let out an exasperated huff. “I’m saying no such thing. Besides, there are other practical matters to consider. Do you really think Twilight is in any state to be casting spells? And somepony is going to have to cast the cloud-walking spell so that she doesn’t fall through your floor the moment you let go of her.”
Dash pursed her lips as she thought that point over. She looked over to me as I finished up the hospital’s paperwork. On reflection, going back to writing with your mouth after using telekinesis to write is very awkward. I hadn’t really used my mouth to write since I was a little filly, and my mouth-writing had gotten sloppy. I probably should have just had Spike write for me. He’s good at transcribing, though it would be terribly awkward to announce my medical history to everypony within earshot.
Dash carefully nudged me in the shoulder as I put the paperwork down on the desk for the nurse to pick up. “So ... how’re you for casting spells, Twi?”
“I should be able to cast spells just fine,” I said neutrally, trying to not sound like I was taking anypony’s side. “Probably not going to be fun with this headache, but I can manage.”
I was just happy when the nurses at the desk unlocked the inhibitor ring form my horn. I felt a wave of relief when it was slid off. Those things always made me feel like I was wearing a skintight suit over my entire body. They didn’t hurt to wear, but they were uncomfortable for me.
Dash’s wings snapped to her sides. “Well if it’s gonna hurt you ... then you can stay at Rarity’s, and that’s that.” I detected a hint of anger in her tone, but it might have been her way to deal with technically ‘losing’ the argument on where I would be staying for the night. She never took losing in any manner well.
I decided it might be best to give Dash a little something to make her feel better. “Thanks for thinking about me, Dash.” I nuzzled her lightly on the cheek.
Dash’s cheeks turned red, and she shuffled in place. “Yeah, well ... you’re pretty cool, Twi. And I don’t like seeing you hurt ... because you’re my friend.”
As we all left the hospital, I felt a slightly painful twist in my stomach that reminded me of some biological needs that had been badly neglected. “Girls, could we perhaps get something to eat? I haven’t really eaten anything since yesterday.”
Dash flew forward to hover a little bit ahead of the group. “Gotcha. Lunch is on me.”
“Now Ah wouldn’t mind paying a couple of bits for a meal.” Applejack nudged me on the shoulder. “You don't worry about anythin', Twi.”
Dash flew up into Applejack’s face. “Hey! I can pay!”
Fluttershy inserted herself into the budding argument. That is to say, she stood to the side and spoke slightly above a whisper. “Let’s not fight. We can all pool our bits for Twilight’s meal.”
“I already offered to pay for trip to the spa, so if you really want to, all of you can pay for the meal,” Rarity offered.
Pinkie hopped around us as she happily chirped, “Can we go to Sugarcube Corner? Or that one sandwich shop? Or that place with the great salads?”
I smirked and shook my head as my friends argued over who would pay and where to eat. My friends could be silly ponies sometimes.
After a meal and a trip to the spa, I was feeling much better than when I had woken up. Not perfect by any means—I did have my face broken the previous night—but much better. We finished up the evening by heading to Rarity’s boutique. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie made their goodbyes outside of the boutique, saying they each needed to return to their respective work. Spike was riding on my back, having hardly left my side the entire day. Everything must really have scared him even more than I realized.
I was mildly surprised to see Fluttershy staying behind. She looked embarrassed as she scraped a hoof along the ground. “Rarity, Twilight? I hope you wouldn’t mind if I stayed too. I know a lot about how to care for a pony who’s sick or hurt, and I just want to make sure my friend is nice and healthy.” Fluttershy puckered her lips in a distressed pout as she looked at Rarity.
Big surprise, Rarity immediately caved. It was nearly impossible to turn down Fluttershy when she was in a caregiver mood. “Of course you can come in. I can hardly think of a pony better suited to care for one of her friends. As long as Twilight if fine with you coming in too.”
I didn’t even wait for Fluttershy to turn her gaze to me. Even assuming I wanted to say no, I doubt I could have summoned the will to tell her no. “I don’t have a problem with that.” A potential problem immediately came to my thoughts. “Will we have enough room for all of us, Rarity?”
“Of course,” Rarity chimed. “Sweetie Belle is with my parents right now, so the guest bed is available as long as you two don’t mind sharing, and I still have Spike’s basket here from the previous night.” Rarity opened her front door for the rest of us to enter her home. “Come on in everypony. Make yourselves comfortable.”
I smiled at Rarity as I passed through the doorway. “Thanks for letting me stay at your place.” It wasn’t really necessary, in my opinion. Likely my friends were fussing over nothing, but being stubborn about it, especially when it would have contradicted the instructions of Doctor Feelgood, wasn’t likely to be productive. I did write that friendship report about being stubborn when offered help by one’s friends that one time.
“It really is thoughtful of you,” Fluttershy said as she entered the boutique.
“Yeah, the most thoughtful, generous, kind, beautiful pony ever,” Spike swooned.
Rarity chuckled and closed the door behind us. “Think nothing of it.”
Spike let out a yawn and blinked his eyes a few times. Fluttershy cooed and looked at Spike with concern. “Oooh, do you need a nap?”
He let out another yawn. “I’m fine, really.”
“It’s quite alright if you need some rest,” Rarity said. “You’ve been up ever since you heard about what happened last night.”
Hearing that Spike had been up because of what happened to me made me feel more guilty than I already had. He really didn't deserve to be hurt on account of me.
I nuzzled Spike. “Come on, let’s get you to bed. Nothing wrong with a little nap.”
Spike leaned against the back of my neck and laid his head against it. “Alright. I just wanted to be with you, Twilight.”
Rarity rubbed Spike’s back. “Don’t you worry about that. Your basket is still in the guest bedroom—the same room Twilight and Fluttershy will be staying in.”
As was usually the case with my pint-sized assistant when he got tired, Spike was quickly losing his struggle to stay awake. We made our way to the guest room, and I gently placed Spike in the basket at the foot of the bed. I made sure he was comfortable and pecked him softly on the forehead before we all quietly departed back downstairs.
Rarity smiled warmly at me as she led us to the kitchen. “He really does care about you. Seeing him worried and wanting to see you above anything else nearly broke my heart.”
“I just had to give him a hug to try and make him feel better.” Fluttershy looked up at the ceiling where the guest bedroom was, her tone maternal and caring. “He was so strong for being just a baby dragon, but he really needed somepony to comfort him.”
I couldn’t meet Rarity or Fluttershy’s eyes as I thought about Spike and what he must have been put through when he heard that I had been hurt. “Yeah ... I’m really sorry that happened to him. He’s too good to be hurt like that.”
“Darling, you aren’t blaming yourself for what happened are you?” Rarity stepped to press her shoulder against mine. “It’s not your fault those ruffians assaulted you. Those two always have been and always will be bad eggs, and that’s the truth of it.”
“I know that.” I tapped my forehead. “Logically, anyway. It’s just ... I don’t know.”
Rarity nudged me towards the kitchen table with her shoulder. “How about you sit down and make yourself comfortable, and we can have a talk once I fix some tea?”
“Alright.” I let Rarity lead me to her table and sat down. “Sorry for being a downer right now. I’ve just been through a lot.”
The meal and trip had helped me get over the general stress of the previous night, but now that the initial comfort of a warm meal and hot bath had worn off, I was left with a bone weariness. A good-sized portion of me just wanted to find a hole to crawl in and pull a rock in over my head.
Fluttershy wrapped a wing across my back, and her gentle squeeze made me feel more relaxed. “It’s alright. We understand, and we’re here for you.”
“Yes, no need to apologize.” Rarity nodded at Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, dear, would you mind pulling something out of the cabinets to snack on while I prepare the tea? Anything you pick would be fine.”
“Of course.” Fluttershy gave me a final squeeze with her wing before doing as Rarity asked.
I sat silently at the table while Rarity and Fluttershy made tea and placed some crackers and cookies onto a plate. I wasn’t in much of a mood for small talk, and I fell so far into my own thoughts that I jerked when Fluttershy put the plate on the table with a small clatter of ceramic on wood.
Fluttershy tilted her head as she looked at me. “I’m sorry. Did I startle you?”
I quickly shook my head. “No, it’s fine.” An uncomfortable silence fell between us when Fluttershy sat down at the table. I felt like I should have said something, but I wasn’t sure what. Instead, I found myself looking at the table again.
Rarity levitated over a trio of cups to place in front of us. “There, now drink up. You don’t want to let it get cold.” I took a sip of the tea, and Fluttershy did the same. It had a lemony taste to it that wasn’t too bitter to enjoy. Rarity always did have good taste for tea. “Now, why don’t you tell us what’s on your mind? I can tell just by looking at you that something has been bothering you all day.”
“I don’t want to bother you with my problems,” I said reflexively. I didn’t really like talking about my own problems. It always felt awkward to me, and it felt like I was venting at the ponies that mattered to me.
Rarity took a slow sip of her tea before speaking. “Please, we’re your friends. If you can’t talk to us, then who can you talk to?”
Fluttershy placed a hoof on one of my own, and I felt an aura of comfort coming off my friend. “We want to help you. Even if it’s just us giving you a listening ear. You’re always helping us, and we want to return the favor.” She gave me the type of smile that could melt the heart of an ice wolf—the ones made of actual ice. Fluttershy would probably feel terrible for killing something with kindness and a smile, upon reflection.
I pushed aside ideas on how Fluttershy’s deep-hearted kindness could be weaponized to address how best to answer my friends. I rubbed at the back of my neck, feeling profoundly uncomfortable. “It’s been a long couple of days. Weeks actually.”
Fluttershy wrapped her wing around me and she squeezed me gently, encouraging me to continue without saying anything.
I rubbed at the good side of my face. “It’s this project with Cloud Kicker. It has me completely strung out.”
“How so?” Rarity ask, her tone concerned.
I let out a long breath. “I don’t know ... I don’t understand Cloud Kicker.” I struggled to find the right words to convey what I wanted to say—how I wanted to say it. “When I first met Cloud Kicker, I figured she was just some small-town nymphomaniac. She was always making some pass at me, making some lewd joke, or something along those lines. I figured I was going to have to deal with her for a couple days, write my report, and then send it in and forget about the whole matter.”
I shrugged, the words starting to flow out easier now that I was getting started. “I’ve worked with ponies I haven’t liked before to do school projects of one kind or another. Fellow students that were lazy, hadn’t studied, hadn’t done their part of the work, didn’t come to group meetings—pick a problem you could have with a partner for a project, and I’ve dealt with it. I thought it would be the same with Cloud Kicker. Only instead of somepony who was lazy, stupid, or had the punctuality of sleep-deprived sloth, I was dealing with a pony who was going to spend the entire project hitting on me.”
Rarity pursed her lips as she considered what I had said thus far. “I’m detecting a ‘but.’”
“But...” I shook my head. I hadn’t worked out most of these thoughts for myself, much less well enough to express them to anypony else. There was so much I was thinking about that I wanted to get out there, but it was all blocking a single doorway somewhere in my brain.
Fluttershy nuzzled me tenderly. “Take it slowly if you need to. We have all evening to listen.”
“Thanks.” I closed my eyes and rubbed at the side of my head. “She’s annoying, but more complex than I originally thought. One minute she seems like a one dimensional sex-maniac, and another she shows a level of depth I didn’t know about. Then she flips back again. I can’t seem to stick her into one neat category like I can with most ponies, and it’s frustrating.”
“I can imagine so, by the sounds of it.” Rarity took a sip from her tea. “It may be that Cloud Kicker is a pony you will never get along with. Everypony has other types of ponies that give them trouble.”
Rarity might have had a point. It could very well be that Cloud Kicker was a pony that I simply couldn’t get along with. I liked to think I was easy to get along with, but I suppose even I had limits. Shame that sounded like a lame excuse in my heart. It seemed like things would be a lot easier if I could just use logic instead of letting emotions get in the way of my thinking.
Fluttershy bit down on her lower lip and looked between me and Rarity. “Cloud Kicker can be a complex pony. She’s not a bad pony, she just ... makes bad decisions sometimes. Everypony does.”
“Cloud Kicker more than most, it seems,” I scoffed. Fluttershy winced at my negative reply, and I felt a pang of guilt. Fluttershy always liked to think the best of ponies. I suppose that shouldn’t have been surprising, given she was the Element of Kindness. I’m sure she had made an honest shot of trying to think of something good to say about Sticks and Stones at some point. “Sorry, I don’t mean to sound mean, but I’m completely strung out at this point.”
Fluttershy reached out and started rubbing one of my shoulders. “It’s okay. You need to get this off your chest, and we said we wanted to listen to you. Please continue.”
It did feel good to talk about this, even if it felt like I was just ranting about somepony else. Maybe I should have done this sooner instead of bottling everything all up inside.
I sipped my tea as I collected my thoughts. “Everything kind of came out when I got around to interviewing Cloud Kicker. We got into a bit of an argument.” I sighed. “More like I became frustrated with how the interview was going and called her out on everything she did.”
“Sometimes you simply need to tell a pony how you feel about them,” Rarity said, caution in her tone. “If her behavior was upsetting you, then you have every right to tell her to stop.”
I nodded slowly as I continued. “Yeah, that’s kind of where things get a bit more frustrating. I ended up calling her a bully, and ... to my surprise, it looked like I had actually hurt her feelings. She said that she didn’t know she was upsetting me and didn’t know why I hadn’t told her sooner.”
Fluttershy gave me a comforting squeeze with her wing. “Ponies have misunderstandings sometimes—like when Rarity and I weren’t telling each other what we really thought when I became a fashion model. It sounds like something similar happened between you and Cloud Kicker.”
“I don’t know.” I ran my hoof through my mane. “Cloud Kicker said we should try and just have a mares’ night out to clear the air a bit, and I decided to give her a second chance.”
Rarity’s mouth curved into a frown. “I’m guessing from your tone that things didn’t go well?”
I shook my head. “No, not at all. One of Cloud Kicker’s friends, Lyra, was at the place we went to get a drink and a little something to eat, and she fell back into old habits.” I shrugged. “Same old topics that made me uncomfortable came up.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Rarity levitated over the teapot and poured all of us fresh cups of tea. “That must have been so terrible for you. Sounds like Cloud Kicker made quite the mess of things.”
Fluttershy shuffled in place. “I’m sure she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, Twilight.”
I drank a bit more fresh tea to calm myself. “It was annoying, is what it was. I really don’t know what was going through her mind, and I’m afraid of what I would find even if I use a mind reading spell.” I snorted. “She was all but kicking herself when I called her out on it when we left the Sun’s Flank.” A second later I wanted to kick myself for accidently making such a lame pun. “I swear, it’s like she was made to make terrible decisions.”
Rarity dabbed at her mouth after she finished chewing on a small cookie. “Either way, you did the right thing in putting your hoof down and standing up for yourself. A lady shouldn’t have to deal with behaviors she finds intolerable. What happened next?”
I fidgeted with my cup for a moment, this whole conversation had been decisively depressing and tiring for me. “Strangely enough, that’s when we have the first real normal conversation we ever had. We talked about ... stuff. Everyday type of things.” I snorted. “Turns out she even likes history.”
Fluttershy smiled at the more positive turn in the conversation. “See? Almost everypony has a good side if you give them a chance to show it.”
“I suppose.” I leaned a bit into Fluttershy, finding some comfort in the contact with my friend. “I had to dig pretty deep to find anything good about Cloud Kicker, though. Learned some other stuff I never knew about her too.”
Rarity’s ears perked. “Oh, like?”
I shook my head. “Sorry, it’s personal stuff that I don’t think is my place to talk about.” I felt a twinge of regret at telling Rarity ‘no’ when she gave me a pouting frown, but I really didn’t think Cloud Kicker would like me to talk to just anypony about her insecurities with her family and Rainbow Dash. Her desire to be one of the Elements of Harmony in order to please her family felt a lot more personal than most of things we talked about.
Rarity pouted a bit more before nodding her head. “If you say so. Please continue.”
I found myself wringing my forehooves together despite myself. As unpleasant as some of my interactions with Cloud Kicker had been, it wasn’t nearly as bad as what came next. “We kept talking. Lyra caught up with the two of us and we talked some more. That’s when Sticks and Stones showed up.”
I felt a variety of emotions when I thought about the incident the previous night: anxiety, fear, and pain all made me feel like I had a pit in my stomach. Fluttershy pulled me closer into a wing hug, helping me to continue. “I’m pretty sure the two of them had been drinking. They kept throwing insults at us and being the two rudest ponies I’d seen in a long time. Stones ended up hitting me when I took my eyes off of him. That’s when the fight started.”
“Oh, Twilight.” Fluttershy nuzzled me, and I nuzzled her back. “You must have been so scared.”
“Yes, absolutely dreadful.” Rarity slid over so that she could also hug me. “What a couple of brutes.”
I melted into the embrace of my friends. I guess even heroes of Equestria need ponies to lean on occasionally. “Honestly, I don’t know what would have happened if Cloud Kicker hadn’t been there. She’s the one who ended up beating the two of them up after I had been given a concussion. I ... couldn’t do anything. That was the worst, the feeling of helplessness. I-I’m used to being able to do something when something bad happens. Not lying on the ground hurt when ponies are in trouble.” It was becoming hard for me to see through blurry eyes. Stupid tears.
Fluttershy gently shushed me like a mother would her child. “It’s okay. It’s all over now.”
I let my friends comfort me for a while. I didn’t really want to talk anymore for a bit, and they didn’t push me. I have amazing friends.
After however many minutes had passed where I cried myself out, Rarity pulled out a napkin and started rubbing at my good eye to wipe away my tears. “There, now you have that out of your system. Don’t you worry. You’re safe now that those two are behind bars, and I severely doubt they will be getting out anytime soon. I’m sure your mother will be happy to hear that you’re alright. I met her once, you know.”
That little revelation startled me. “Wait, you met my mom?”
“Oh, I didn’t tell you?” Rarity threw the napkin away in a nearby trashcan. “Fancy Pants introduced us. She’s such a regal and kind mare. Really, Twilight, I didn’t know your mother was a duchess.”
I blinked a couple of time, too stunned to make a quick reply. “I, uh, hadn’t ... really mentioned it.”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “A duchess? Wow, that ... makes her a pretty important pony, doesn’t it?”
“Oh, indeed.” Rarity got that faraway, dreamy look about her whenever the topic of Canterlot or nobility came up. “It’s the highest title in Equestria, short of princess.”
I felt my cheeks start to warm at the topic. The status of my parents wasn’t exactly something I had wanted to talk about. I didn’t want anypony to treat me differently just because I was a noble. “It’s not a big deal, really.”
Rarity grinned and waved a hoof. “Don’t be so modest. We all figured you had some noble blood in you. But really, a duchess? How fascinating.”
One of my ears twitched. “Wait ... you knew I was a noble?”
Rarity put a reassuring hoof on mine. “Well of course we all but knew, dear, what with your mannerisms and speech patterns. And of course there is the fact you were educated by the Princess herself. I just didn’t know you belonged to one of the most important families in Canterlot.”
I covered my face with a hoof and groaned. I had thought I had done a little better at hiding what I was. “I just ... didn’t want to get treated differently. You know? I wanted to fit in with everypony.”
Rarity slowly lowered my hoof from my face. “Now, don’t be like that. You’re a wonderful mare, and the fact you are the daughter of a duchess doesn’t change that in the slightest for any of us who are your friends.”
“Exactly.” Fluttershy hugged me again and that helped relieve some of the stress I was feeling. “Just because we know you’re a noble doesn't change that you’re one of our very best friends. Besides, almost everypony in Ponyville already figured you were a noble. So it’s not going to change anypony’s opinion of you if they find out for sure.”
I took a moment to breathe and think things through. Apparently, I had done a hideously poor job of hiding that I was a noble. In hindsight, I probably should have seen that I would have some trouble doing so. I hadn’t exactly been trained as a spy or anything like that, and I had lived most of my life in Canterlot. Even after living in Ponyville for a couple of years, a lot of my Canterlot mannerisms still showed through pretty heavily, and I wasn’t inclined to drop many of them just because I moved.
So if what my friends were saying was true, then even if everypony in Ponyville knew I was a countess, it wasn’t likely to change much of anything. That was encouraging, given how much I wanted to fit in with everypony in town.
I squeezed Fluttershy back. “Thanks for saying that, girls. It means a lot to me that me being a noble isn’t going to change anything.”
Fluttershy slowly broke the hug and smiled warmly at me. “Don’t worry about it. Nothing is going to change us being friends.”
I nodded and then sighed as I remembered what our original conversational topic had been. “Still have to figure out what to do about Cloud Kicker, though.”
Fluttershy looked away for a moment before nodding, seemingly to herself as far as I could tell, before putting a hoof on my shoulder. “I think you should take the chance to get to know the real Cloud Kicker. I know that your two have gotten off to a rocky start, but I know that she is a good pony. It’s just that it’s hard to see sometimes.”
“I don’t know.” I let out a long sigh and took a sip of my tea. “It doesn’t really seem like it would be worth the trouble.”
Fluttershy stared at me for a long moment. When she spoke, it was in a quiet but firm tone. “Trust me, Twilight, one of the biggest regrets you can have in life is to not have given a friendship the chance it deserved.”
I gave Fluttershy a firm look. “This seems to be really important to you, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy looked away from me and wrung her forehooves together. “I don’t like seeing ponies not getting along. Especially when I think they could have been friends.” She looked up at me with a concerned frown. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but can you try to get along with her?”
“I’ll think about it.” In the end, I probably needed to talk to Cloud Kicker about where we wanted to take our relationship, the research project, and everything else next time we met.
Rarity poured a little bit of honey into her tea. “If you do choose to continue to meet with Cloud Kicker, then don't be afraid to put your hoof down with her if she offends you.”
That was a bit of advice I could readily agree with. “I think I’ll do that. It seems like a lot of the problems that came between us were due to poor communication.”
Rarity gently patted my own hoof. “And usually the only way to fix that is to start talking. Sometimes these things don’t work out, but sometimes they do. The only way to know for sure is to try.”
“Thanks, both of you. I’ll consider your advice.” I really did feel better to have gotten all of that off my chest. I definitely should have come to my friends sooner. Hindsight is annoying in how it brings perspective to all our mistakes.
Rarity smiled. “But really, talk to us if you have any further trouble with Cloud Kicker or anything else. We’re your friends. Now, was there anything else you wanted to talk about?”
I thought about it for a minute, and one particular conversation point I had with Cloud Kicker did stand out—that of me potentially having a half-sister. But there were far too many emotions and facts for me to consider before I was really ready to talk about it to my friends. Not after everything else that had happened.
I looked down at the table, my cup taking my attention as I thought. “Nothing else, no.”
Fluttershy wrapped a leg around my own. “If there’s something else bothering you, then you should talk about it.”
I shook my head. “No, I ... I don’t really want to talk about it right now.” Rarity and Fluttershy each looked like they were about to say something, but I kept talking. “I need to talk about something with my parents first. I’m planning on going to Canterlot for a few days. Being away from everything will probably help me clear up my head anyways.”
Rarity pursed her lips as she considered me. “If that’s what you feel you need to do, then I encourage you to do so.”
Fluttershy smiled at me. “We just want you to be happy.”
“Thanks.” I let out a breath, a bit relieved that my friends weren’t going to push me on that particular topic. I think I had talked enough about what I was feeling for one day. “Do you two mind if I turn in for the night? It’s been a bit of a long day.”
Rarity stood up along with me. “No, of course, not. Let us see you to bed.”
“It’s not necessary, really,” I said.
“Please, it will make us feel better.” Fluttershy did the sweetest smile imaginable, one I don’t think anypony could say no to.
I couldn’t help but chuckle. “Alright, alright, I’m not going to argue about this.”
It’s good to have friends that care.
The rain fell on my face, but it couldn’t hide the tears.
It’d been ... Celestia. How long? Hours, now? Days? I ... I didn’t know. I didn’t care. It felt like years since I’d even smiled. Just a little while ago I’d been so happy. We’d all been so happy. I felt so alone, even with everypony around me.
I wanted my mom.
She held me close, occasionally nuzzling me or wiping my muzzle with a hoofkerchief. I knew she was trying to be strong, but it felt like she needed me as much as I needed her. She hadn’t let go of me once the whole time, in spite of the wheelchair that kept getting in the way. Mom was there for me, and she couldn’t make it better.
Shiny stood on the other side of me, trying so, so hard to keep a steady face. Mom reached over me, stroking his back. I don’t know if he didn’t feel her, or if he just didn’t want to feel her. He looked like he was trying to not feel anything. He was losing that battle; I didn’t miss how he heaved a little more, or took a little longer to calm back down every time he heard me sniff.
We’d gathered in front of one of my family’s mausoleums—a large, marble structure packed in with the other mausoleums and crypts that filled the Canterlot graveyard. It was quiet, so quiet ... I could barely hear Dad over the quiet dirge of raindrops on stone and grass. I don’t know what he’s saying to the other ponies here. ‘Comfort,’ ‘move on,’ and ‘love.’ Hollow words.
They didn’t make it hurt less. It hurts, Daddy. It ... it hurts.
I couldn’t watch. I couldn’t look away. Dad stopped talking, and the pallbearers brought the too-small casket to our family’s crypt. Shiny whimpered as stone ground against stone.
The rain fell on my face, and it couldn’t hide the tears.
I woke up with a start. A nightmare—that’s what I told myself. It had only been a nightmare. Shame that didn’t keep the sobs from starting as the familiar terrible sense of loss came over me. I hated feeling like this over something that had happened so long ago. Time had only dulled that pain that clutched at my heart. I curled up on myself as I tried to push the old memories the nightmare had dredged up.
Fluttershy rustled from the other side of the bed. “Twilight, is everything alright?”
I couldn’t give her an answer as I tried to pull myself together. I didn’t want her to see me crying like this.
She sat up, and I felt her pull me into a hug, her wings wrapping around me. She felt like an island in the middle of a storm at sea. I nuzzled my face into her shoulder and cried into it. She gently shushed me. “It’s okay. I’m here.” She slowly lowered the two of us to the bed, still holding me in her embrace. “Just let it all out.”
I did, exhausting myself before drifting off back to sleep.
I slowly woke up feeling warm and content. Much better than when I had woken up at the hospital. I didn’t even want to open my eyes, wanting to drift back into slumber. I snuggled up with the body pillow, warm and furry. That’s when my brain started remembering and putting facts together. My good eye snapped open, and I saw that I was snuggling with Fluttershy. Surprised, I jerked away from her with a yelp of shock.
Fluttershy blinked sleep away and looked up at me, confusion on her face. “Twilight?” She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. “Are you alright?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, panic working its way into my tone. “I didn’t mean to... That is ... I was asleep and last night I-I—”
Fluttershy pulled me into a hug, and I fell silent, feeling the panic ebb away in her soft embrace. “It’s okay. You needed me last night, and I wanted to be here for you. Don’t worry about it. We’re just two friends sharing a moment and giving each other comfort.”
I took a moment to steady my breathing and relaxed in Fluttershy’s hug. “Right, I understand. I was just ... startled, is all.” I also felt fairly awkward being that intimate with a friend. We were just snuggling, but it’s still on the awkward side of things.
Fluttershy slowly broke the hug. “Sometimes that happens when you wake up. Especially after everything you’ve been through. Do you want to talk about it?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I just had a nightmare, is all.”
“If you ever want to talk about it, you know who to come to.” She slid off the bed, and I watched as she stretched herself out. “How about you get a shower while I go downstairs and see what can be fixed for breakfast. I think I hear somepony downstairs already.”
I slide out of the bed also. “That sounds fine. Only room for so many ponies in the bathroom, after all.” I looked at the foot of the bed and saw that Spike’s basket was empty. He must have woken up before me and Fluttershy. “See you in a few minutes, then?”
Fluttershy nodded. “I’ll try and have something ready for when you’re done.”
“Thanks,” I called out to her as she made her way downstairs.
I made my way to Rarity’s guest bathroom and proceeded to get a shower and clean myself up. Rarity did not go cheap on bathing and grooming options, and I soon felt satisfactorily clean and groomed.
When I started making my way downstairs, I heard arguing in the kitchen. I saw Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Spike in the kitchen. Spike and Fluttershy were fixing something at the stove by the looks of it. Rarity and Dash seemed to be having words with each other, but the two of them stopped when they saw me enter the kitchen. I supposed Dash had decided to invite herself into Rarity’s home. She had a way of doing that, in my experience.
Rarity turned to me and smiled. “Twilight? We were just discussing what to fix for breakfast. Would you like some crepes and scrambles?”
Before I could answer, Dash blew a raspberry at Rarity. “Nah, haybacon and hashbrowns! Derpy went nuts for the stuff way back when!”
Rarity rolled her eyes at Dash. “If memory serves, didn't Ditzy become violently ill at the smell of haybacon?”
Dash waved Rarity’s objection off. “Yeah, but that was just morning sickness.”
Dash and Rarity looked like they were going to keep right on arguing when Fluttershy walked past the two of them carrying a couple bowls of oatmeal on her wings. She put them down on the table and flashed me a smile. “There, a nice healthy bowl of oatmeal just for you, Twilight.”
I smelled the oatmeal, and I could feel my mouth watering. “Thanks! Smells great.”
Dash gave the bowls a quick glance. “Whoawhoawhoa, where's all this coming from?”
“The kitchen.” Fluttershy nodded in Spike’s direction as he scooped some more oatmeal into a couple other bowls. “Spike and I started it up while you two were trying to decide what to make for breakfast.”
Dash crossed her forelegs in front of her chest and looked like she was about ready to object when I spoke up. “Thanks, you two. I’m really hungry.” I wanted to forestall any further arguments before they got started. Also, I really was hungry, and oatmeal sounded just fine right then.
“Well, if that’s what you really want, dear.” Rarity shrugged and sat down at the table and nodded appreciatively to Spike as he placed a bowl in front of her. I gave Spike a quick hug and encouraged him to sit by me.
“Haybacon still would have been better,” Dash grumbled. Still, she sat down at the table to eat with the rest of us.
It looked like everything was going to be alright.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today, we've learned another lesson about how friends should compromise: it's all well and good to do something for somepony in the spirit of friendship—if they're sad or hurt, friends can come together to do something for them. But sometimes the best way to help a friend is simply asking, even if you think you have a better way to help your friend, sometimes the best way to be there for your friend is just by being there for them.
Your Faithful Student, Twilight Sparkle
I looked over the letter, making sure it was to my liking. It was nice to write another friendship report. It had felt like forever since I had done so. Satisfied, I made a note to have Spike send it in. Likely it was going to get sent to Princess Luna, but it would find its way to Princess Celestia in good time.
Spike and I had returned to the library earlier that day. My friends were still worried for me, but my assurances that Spike would be with me and that I would go to the hospital if anything came up convinced them to let us part our separate ways. Really, it was nice to get back into the normal swing of things in the library.
There was a knock at the front door. Spike was in the basement doing some cleaning, so it fell to me to answered the door. On the other side was a pony that I wasn’t all that surprised to see.
“Hi, Cloud Kicker,” I said with careful neutrality. I figured she would be coming to visit sooner or later. Honestly, if she hadn’t, I would probably have gone looking for her anyway to have a talk.
I leaned against the library front door’s frame. “I'm getting along alright. No permanent damage, thankfully.” At least I could say that much about that night.
Cloud Kicker let out a sigh of relief. “Good. Scared me half to death when you told me you couldn't see out of your eye. The doctors wouldn’t even let me see you after I brought you into the hospital.”
I touched the bandage. “Yeah, they fixed it up, so it should be fine. I'll be going to the hospital tomorrow morning for a followup after they take this off.”
“Well, that's good.” She looked down at the grass and bit her lip. “Sorry you got pulled into that mess. I should've reacted faster, or warned you away from them sooner. Or ... anything, really.” She snorted derisively. “No wonder I didn’t become an Element like Dash. She helped you when you beat Nightmare feathering Moon. I couldn’t protect you from a couple two-bit bullies.”
I shook my head. “What happened wasn’t your fault. I may have suffered a concussion, but I clearly remember that it was Sticks and Stones who were causing trouble.” I wasn’t thrilled with Cloud Kicker at the moment, but it wouldn’t have been fair to blame the actions of Sticks and Stones on her.
“Yeah, it was.” It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself of that fact than agreeing with me. “Still feel a bit bad, since it was my fight.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “‘Your fight?’ No offense, but I don’t remember either of us talking about whose turn it was to fight those two.”
Cloud Kicker’s wings flicked, and a hint of anger worked its way into her tone. “Well, Sticks and Stones were after me. They were mad at me because I stood up to them and told them not to hurt Derpy or anypony else. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I’m a Kicker, and Kickers are supposed to protect ponies. I failed at that.” Cloud Kicker chuckled painfully. “Why not? I’ve feathered just about everything else up where being a Kicker is concerned.”
I glanced around the street in front of the library. I was a bit concerned about Cloud Kicker reprimanding herself in front of everypony. Sure, I planned on having a few words with her, but I didn’t plan on making a big scene that would become the gossip of the town. Luckily, I didn’t see anypony giving the two of us any attention.
Also, I didn’t like the idea of Cloud Kicker beating herself up over something that wasn’t her fault. “I have a feeling those two were just looking for trouble regardless of who they ran into. I’m sure you noticed they were drunk.”
Cloud Kicker stared at me for a long moment before she visibly deflated. “Yeah, you're right. Those idiots have always been troublemakers. At least they won't be doing that anymore.”
I shook my head. The whole topic of Sticks and Stones was quickly becoming one I simply wanted to move past. “I doubt they will. I haven't heard anything yet, but if those two don't spend a good number of years in prison, I'll be surprised.”
Without sounding egotistical, injuring a hero of Equestria probably was not the way to go about endearing oneself to one’s fellow ponies. It also didn’t help their cause that they were a couple of local bullies attacking at least mostly reputable mares. I doubted whoever prosecuted the two of them would feel like being in a particularly merciful mood.
Cloud Kicker chuckled. “They'll be lucky if they ever get out after going after Princess Celestia's prized pupil.”
“I'm not exactly feeling sympathetic at the moment.” I pointed to the bandage on my face. “But I am a bit biased.”
“Yeah, can't blame you for that.” An awkward silence then reigned between us for an all-too-long moment. Cloud Kicker stared at my flower garden while I found myself just avoiding eye contact in general.
We really needed to sort out the fallout from last night. But how would I even start? Do I just start talking about the whole weird relationship dynamic we have out of nowhere? No, wait, I read about this. There's supposed to be small talk, right? I'm sure that's what the book said...
Thankfully, Cloud Kicker ended up breaking the ice to end the miserable silence. “So ... anything I can do to help with your recovery?”
I ran a hoof through my mane and looked back into the library. “No, I think I'm good. My friends wouldn't leave me alone after they found out about what happened.” I smiled at the idea of my friends’ support.
“Oh.” Cloud Kicker looked down and scraped her hoof on the ground. “Yeah, guess you've already got a lotta ponies looking out for you. Still, wouldn't mind helping out if there's anything I can do.”
Even a socially oblivious pony like me could tell that Cloud Kicker was feeling terribly guilty over what had happened, and wanted to do something to make herself feel better. I would probably feel the same way if I were in her position. I know I didn’t like to see ponies suffer, especially when I felt like I could do something about it. Also, we really needed to talk, and I might be more comfortable talking in the library. It would certainly feel less awkward than out in public.
I sighed and made a decision. “I guess I could use a bit of help. There’s something high up I need to reach in the basement, and well...” I chuckled awkwardly. “Wings.” With that smooth transition, I stepped out of the doorway and motioned for Cloud Kicker to follow me.
I led Cloud Kicker down to the basement. Spike and I had managed to clean the basement of debris, and we were in the process of refurbishing it. Some of the new shelves were now stocked with supplies, all carefully organized exactly how I wanted them. It was starting to look like my lab again.
Spike was busy putting a table together. He had his tongue stuck out as he examined its instructions like I had taught him. It always drove me crazy when somepony tried to build something without even looking at how the item in question was supposed to be put together.
“How’s it going, Spike?” I studied the table, looking it over for any problems. It looked like it was being constructed right. Not that it had that many parts to start with, but Spike really wanted to put his handypony skills to use. I guessed it was a male pride thing.
He jerked a bit—I guess he hadn’t heard me and Cloud Kicker coming up behind him—and turned to look at the two of us. “Oh, hey, Twilight! Cloud Kicker.” He looked back and forth between his instructions and the table. “Great, almost have it done. Just need to get the last two legs on...” He reached down for a screwdriver, but was interrupted when his cheeks puffed and he breathed a gout of fire, setting the instructions and table on fire.
I stared as a scroll from the Princess fell to the floor. I must be pretty jaded, considering how little I had really been bothered by Spike setting the table on fire. After saving the world, having my lab blown up several times, and numerous other disasters, a mere table just did not register as a big deal to me. Hay, I had helped rebuild all of Ponyville.
I gave Spike a disapproving glower. I didn’t need to say words—we have had more than enough talks about him being careful with his fire breath for him to divine the meaning of my stare. It wouldn’t do to let him think it was okay to set things on fire, even if it had been an accident. Having a fire-breathing dragon in a building filled with dry paper was an incident waiting to happen, and Spike needed to be careful.
Spike looked up at me with the type of smile that only a child in trouble could give. “Err, sorry?”
I continued giving Spike a flat look as I used a water spell to put out the fire. “How about you take a break for a while? Go ahead and get a snack for yourself and watch the library. I’ll take over down here.”
“Okay, sounds good.” Spike scampered off like a pony who had just avoided his day of execution. I didn’t particularly want to punish him for an accident I could fix with a couple of spells, but he got the point that I could have brought the hammer down if I wanted to.
Cloud Kicker smirked as Spike departed. “You’re pretty calm for having a piece of your furniture set on fire.”
I looked at the table and determine the damage wasn’t too extensive—for being on fire, anyway. “I’m working with him to keep him from destroying books and other things with his dragonfire, but it’s a work in progress.”
“Kids can be hard on your stuff.” She watched with interest as I fixed the table with some repair spells. “I know I have to childproof my house whenever Alula comes over. Can’t let her get ahold of my wingblades.”
I didn’t say it, but it wouldn’t have surprised me if there were a few other things in her house she wouldn’t want her kid sister finding and playing around with.
I put the scroll from the Princess on another table to look at later. “I pretty much have to keep the library mostly childproof in any case. At least any of the parts that are open to the public.” Though that did make me think about the fact that I might have to double-check my private quarters to make sure Dinky wouldn’t find anything she shouldn’t. I might want to get a lock for the lab just to be safe.
Cloud Kicker looked around the lab. “So, what do you need me to do?”
I pointed to a nearby table where seven plates sat. Each had glyphs that I had meticulously carved into them. “I need to have those nailed along the ceiling in specific spots.”
“Sounds easy enough.” She scooped them up and took to the air. Fortunately, there was plenty of roof-space for her to move around in. “Just point 'em out, and I'll take care of it.”
“Thanks.” I gave Cloud Kicker directions for where exactly I wanted the first plate. “It's hard for me to grip them with telekinesis due to some of the arcane runes I carved into them.”
“Oh? Sounds interesting.” She examined one of the plates. “Huh. Putting up more magical shielding?”
I nodded. “I'm trying to get the basement set up for research again. It's a bit of a project in and of itself.” I motioned towards the boxes of furniture that still needed to be assembled, as well as other things I needed for my lab like components and lab equipment. “Thus, it’s best to make sure the place is properly shielded for magic. Makes sure I don't burn the entire library down, for starters.”
Cloud Kicker carefully placed the plate on the wall near the ceiling. “Yeah ... burning down your house would be bad.”
“And ponies might be upset if I burned the library down.” I walked around the lab until I found where Spike had put down our hammer. “I think they can tolerate the occasional explosions, but the destruction of a public building might be a bit much. And I don’t even want to think about losing all the books in the library.”
Cloud Kicker snickered. “Just a bit much, yeah.” She secured the plate in place. “So ... um, what's next?”
I levitated up the hammer and a couple large nails. “Here, I'll do the hammering. Just hold it still.”
“I got it.” Cloud Kicker pounded the nails in with a single strike of her hoof with neither pomp nor ceremony. She grinned to herself, and I got the sense that this was making her feel better after everything that happened the other night. Admittedly, it was nice to get help with this; otherwise, I would have had to get a ladder and do it myself, or get one of my friends to help.
“Oh ... I guess that works too.” I brought the hammer back down to ground level and put it back onto the table.
“You’re welcome.” She placed another plate where I directed.
I decided to ask Cloud Kicker something I was curious about while she worked to set up another plate further down the wall. “I’m a bit surprised you know what those plates are for. Most ponies who aren’t unicorns don’t even know how to read glyphs or sigils.”
“I got the basics from my classes in West Hoof.” Cloud Kicker briefly frowned before her features moved back to neutrality. “I’m not gonna be writing and enchanting any of my own glyphs, but I can figure out what something is probably going to do if it isn’t too complex.”
Silence fell between us as we put up a couple more of the plates. There were issues we needed to talk about, but I think we were both feeling too awkward to bring them up. Instead I went for more small talk to at least keep a conversation going.
“So, are you okay from what happened the other night?” I asked. “I didn't see you get hit, but ... I wasn't in much shape to take notes.”
I felt a bit guilty about not asking earlier. Cloud Kicker had asked if I had been alright right away, but I hadn’t even bothered to return the favor. Sure, I might not have liked her, but I could have felt a little more concerned if she had been seriously hurt or not.
She punched in a couple more nails. “Yeah, I'm fine,” she answered plainly. “Takes more than two drunk idiots to give me a real fight.”
I levitated up a couple more nails as Cloud Kicker got another plate into place. “That’s good. Lyra’s okay too, right?”
Cloud Kicker let out a long sigh. “She's fine. Just bummed she couldn't help out more.”
“Being a musician doesn't exactly lend itself to fighting,” I answered logically.
“Nope. But she wasn’t happy about running off when I was fighting.” Cloud Kicker fumbled with the last couple of plates, and I cringed when she almost dropped one. By the far-off look in her eyes, her mind may have been on something else.
I rubbed at my face, feeling the bandages that brought back nothing but bad memories. “She did the reasonable thing. Running off to get the gendarmes was about the best thing she could have done. If you see her before I do, you can tell her that.”
“I can do that.” Cloud Kicker pounded the last plate into place. She turned to me and another awkward silence descended between us through some sort of mutual agreement. We didn’t really look at each other as nothing was said over the stretching seconds.
Eventually I managed to work up the will to break the silence. “So ... I guess we have things to talk about.”
“Yeah, we do.” She let out a long sigh and fluttered down to the floor. “So, where do we start?”
I put the rest of the nails back away on their assigned shelf as I bought myself some time to think what to say. “I'm not entirely sure. There's a lot to cover.”
“Well...” She shuffled in place. “Where do we stand on the whole 'studying me' thing?”
I let out a low groan. “I don't know. I've been trying to just hammer my way through this, and that's just been making me miserable, honestly.”
“Yeah. Hasn't exactly been great for me either.” She looked at me silently for a couple seconds before continuing. “I wouldn't mind just kind of ... hanging out, though.”
“Because that worked out great last time.” I winced when I heard how biting my comment had sounded and saw Cloud Kicker’s ears flatten on her head. “Sorry, I snapped there a bit. Been a bit stressed out lately.”
“Yeah, no problem.” She sighed. “Want me to just get lost?”
So there was probably the key question of the day: did I want to give Cloud Kicker another chance, or tell her to get lost? At that moment, I could tell that neither one of us were happy where things stood. I wasn’t happy with Cloud Kicker, and I was pretty sure Cloud Kicker wasn’t thrilled by how she had made me feel.
Telling her to get out and stay out of my life would be the easier thing to do, and it wouldn’t be that hard to justify doing so. But there was something about taking the easy path that didn’t sit right with me, though I wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe I was feeling guilty. Not that I was sure why I should feel that. Feelings always seemed to make what should be logical decisions difficult.
I turned away from her and pulled out another new table from a box and laid out its contents methodically, taking a moment to look at the instructions to see the most organized manner to place everything. “I'm honestly not sure what I want at the moment.” I made myself stop with the construction of the table and sighed. “But I don't think telling you to get lost right now will help me. Really, I don’t understand you. You just baffle me half the time.”
“Guess I’m a complicated mare.” Cloud Kicker shrugged. “Okay ... so we're not sure about being friends, but you don't want me to just leave you alone either. Need some space for a bit?”
There was an idea. So much had happened in the last couple of days that I wasn’t even sure I was in any shape to make a good decision. Some time away from Cloud Kicker might help me decide what I wanted to do with her and our relationship.
“I was planning on heading to Canterlot for a few days,” I said. “I want to talk to my parents about a few things—take care of some other business there, too.” That was true enough. I did need to talk to my parents about some of the things Cloud Kicker had told me about them. Not that it was going to be a fun topic to bring up. Also, I needed to pick up a few things for my lab that I couldn’t get in a town like Ponyville.
Cloud Kicker nodded. “Alright. I'll be heading to Cloudsdale on business, myself. So, I guess we just take a bit and then see where we wanna go from there?”
“Yeah, that sounds like it might be for the best. Forcing it might make things worse, at this point.” This sounded like a reasonable plan. No sense rushing a decision that we both might regret. Some time spent at home might do me good, anyways.
“Alright, then. So I'll see you around, I guess.” She moved towards the stairs but then stopped. “Um ... you run into my dad or anypony, tell them I said hi and that I'm doing fine.”
“I’ll do that.” I didn’t see it as likely that I would be seeing any of her family, but I didn’t see any reason to be rude, either.
Cloud Kicker walked up the stairs out of the basement. “Anything else you wanted to talk about?”
I shook my head as we reach the front door. “I don't think so. I was planning on preparing for Dinky's first magic lesson here soon.”
She smirked as she opened the door. “Sounds cool. Hope it goes well. I’m sure Dinky is thrilled.”
I smiled. The idea of having a student of my own had been growing on me since I offered to teach Dinky magic. “Me too. I’ve been looking forward to it. Given her mother had to all but pry her off of me when we told Dinky I would be teaching her magic, I think Dinky’s looking forward to it.”
She chuckled. “You'll do great, I’m sure.” It felt odd being complimented by her. “I better get going, then.”
Cloud Kicker moved to close the door, but I put a hoof against the door to stop her. “Um, one second, please.” I smiled at her, and she cocked an eyebrow at me. I trotted over to a nearby shelf and pulled a book off it. Moving back to the doorway, I levitated the book to her.
“The Recapture of Manehatten: The Rise of the Royal Sisters and the Fall of an Empire,” she read, looking at the book’s title.
I felt slightly embarrassed by my sudden gesture of hospitality. “You said you read about the Lunar Rebellion, and I thought you might like to expand into different time periods from there. I’ve read that book, and it does a really good job of covering that war and the time period. It’s not about the Lunar Rebellion, but it details the most important conflict before that war.”
Cloud Kicker smiled and took the book under a wing. “Thanks, I’ll make sure to read it later. Shouldn’t I check it out, though?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll mark it down in Binder in a minute.” I waved a hoof reassuringly.
One of Cloud Kicker’s eyebrows rose. “Binder?”
“That’s just what I call the library’s checkout record book.” I chuckled awkwardly.
She held a hoof up to her muzzle as she snickered. “I’d be tempted to make fun of you for naming random objects, but I’m hardly the one to criticise given some of the things I name.”
“Oh, like what?” I asked.
Cloud Kicker shook her head. “Sorry, but that would break some of the rules where you’re concerned. Plus I better get going. See you later, then.” She walked away from the library.
“Yeah, later,” I said, closing the door after her.
I was assaulted by adorableness. Dinky had all but burst through the doorway to hug me when I had opened the door, and I stumbled back as she tackled me.
Dinky looked up at me with those big golden eyes of hers and her mouth creased into a wide smile. “Hiya, Miss Twilight!”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the show of affection. “Hi, Dinky. How are you doing?”
“Rilly good!” Dinky nuzzled my chest. “I’ve been waitin' forever an' ever to learn magic from you!”
I patted Dinky on the back affectionately. “I’ve been looking forward to our first lesson together too.”
It had been less than a couple of weeks since I had promised to teach Dinky magic—but to be fair, a couple of days can seem like forever to a child. I remembered the day before Hearth’s Warming Eve feeling like the better part of an eternity when I was her age.
I looked up to see Sparkler holding back a snicker as she watched Dinky’s show of affection. “C’mon, Dinks. Let’s at least get you ready to start your first lesson.”
“A’kay!” Dinky let me go, thankfully saving me from having to find some way to pry the filly off. She skipped into the library, a paragon of youthful joy.
Sparkler stepped through the doorway and gave me an appreciative smile. “Thanks for helping to teach Dinks. It means the world to us.”
I waved a hoof nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure we’ll both have a great time.”
“Yeah, um...” Sparkler turned one of her hooves back and forth on the floor nervously. “Thanks for the help you gave me, too. The gem and the books have been a big help.”
“That’s great. You been getting plenty of use out of them?” I watched as Dinky hopped over to the central table of the library and started looking at the books, scrolls, and other materials covering it.
“Yeah, I didn’t realize how much I was missing out on.” Sparkler cleared her throat before continuing. “Part of me kinda hates that gem, though. Now I can’t cast any spell without realizing how much magic I’m wastin’. It’s sooo annoying.”
I smirked at Sparkler’s troubles with the magic-monitoring gem, more than a few frustrating memories of my own troubles reigning in how much magic I used to spellcast came to mind. “I know what you mean. I had to practice with one of those gems every day until I got a hold on it.”
Sparkler grumbled something under her breath that I didn’t catch. “At least I’m not wearing myself out just lifting stuff with telekinesis anymore. And I’ve been reading through those books ya gave me. I ... don’t exactly have a lot of spellbooks of my own.”
I frowned at that. Spellbooks tended to be on the pricey end as far as books went. It was another reason why a lot of unicorns prefered to try learning spells from other unicorns. The final price tag for my education hadn’t exactly been cheap, either. Most families with significant numbers of unicorns tended to pass down books from generation to generation, with parents and older siblings teaching the younger members of their families to help cut down on costs of becoming a competent spellcaster.
I didn’t want to judge, but I doubted raising two children by herself was cheap for Derpy. I didn’t know much about her family, but if they didn’t have many unicorns, then there might not have been much to pass down to Sparkler or Dinky to help relieve costs. The fact that Derpy didn’t know that you should really have a unicorn significantly older and more experienced than Sparkler to teach Dinky was telling.
Given those facts, I couldn’t help but feel some sympathy for Sparkler.
“Keep the books as long as you need them. I don’t really need them anymore.” I walked over to a nearby bookshelf containing the library’s collection of magic-related books and tapped a hoof against it. “And you can always check out what we have here at the library. Feel free to copy any spells that interest you.”
Sparkler nodded. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.” She stepped up to the table and picked up My First Spellbook: Cantrips and Evocations Every Child Should Learn. Dinky, for her part, had flipped open one of the other books and seemed to be glancing through the pages. “I guess these are for Dinks?”
I tapped the pile of a half a dozen thick tomes. “Yep, I got all of them for Dinky’s lessons.”
Sparkler turned the book to look at its back and her eyes widened. She lifted up a couple more books with her magic, and her jaw dropped. “T-these aren’t cheap books, Miss Twilight. And they all look new.”
I nodded and smiled, feeling proud of myself. “I bought them for her. I wanted my student to have the very best teaching materials.”
Sparkler looked back and forth between me and the books, a look of befuddlement on her face, before putting the books neatly back with the care one would with fine dishware. “If you say so. I can tell Dinks has the best teacher out there.”
Dinky looked up from her book and grinned. “Ya-huh! Miss Twilight’s gonna be the super-bestest, most awesome teacher ever!” Her face scrunched up with concentration. “Along with Miss Cheerilee. They can both be the bestest teacher, right?”
Sparkler ruffled Dinky’s mane. “Sure, why not?” She looked up from Dinky to nod at me. “Well, I need to head out. Just needed to drop Dinks off after school before helping Miss Rarity find some gems. I wanna have some extra bits in Canterlot to spend, so that means doing some work.”
My ears perked in interest at that news. “Oh, you’re heading to Canterlot soon?”
Sparkler smirked. “Uh-huh, we’re all gonna visit Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Cirrus in town tomorrow.”
“I hope you enjoy your trip, then,” I said. It seemed that I wasn’t the only pony here heading to Canterlot soon.
“Thanks.” Sparkler nodded to Dinky. “Mom should be by later to pick Dinks up.”
“See ya later, Sparky!” Dinky hugged her sister and gave her a sloppy kiss to the cheek. “Love ya!”
Sparkler smiled and hugged Dinky back. “Love ya too. Be good for Miss Twilight, ‘kay?”
“A‘kay!” Dinky nuzzled her sister before letting her go.
Sparkler and I made our goodbyes and she left the library, leaving me with Dinky. I turned to her and gave her a smile. “Are you ready to get started?”
Dinky nodded her head vigorously. “Uh-huh! What’re ya gonna teach me? Oooh, am I gonna learn how’ta make things all fwooshin’ like Mommy, or become in-viz-sea-ble, or fly like Rainbow Dash?”
I chuckled at Dinky’s adorable enthusiasm. She reminded me of myself when I was her age and starting to learn magic for the first time. “Not today,” I told her, feeling bad as her bright smile turned into a frown. I had a feeling Derpy would not approve of me trying to teach her daughter how to set things on fire—not even mentioning how difficult it was to control magical fire. Invisibility was a pretty advanced illusion to pull off, and even the gossamer wings I had given Rarity during the Best Young Flyers Competition had stretched my abilities.
“Then what’re we gonna learn?” Dinky asked.
I lifted up a stack of papers and plopped them down in front of her with a smile on my face. “First, we’re going to cover the syllabus for your lessons.”
Dinky poked at the stack of papers like they were some strange vegetable on her dinner plate. I supposed she was one of those types of ponies who was allergic to paperwork—something I never understood, considering I found filling out forms and paperwork to be extremely satisfying. “What’s a sillybus?”
I pulled out my own copy of the syllabus and glanced over it. “A syl-la-bus is a summary outline of a course of study.”
“Oh.” Dinky nodded her head sagely. “What’s that mean?”
I reminded myself that Dinky was all of six years old and that her asking questions about things she didn’t understand was perfectly reasonable. Even if it was her asking for me to explain something I had already explained. “It means that the syllabus gives us a rough schedule on what we are going to cover for your lessons and when. Stuff like when I would like to see certain materials read and—” I found myself interrupted when Dinky raised her hoof as though she were in class. “Yes, what did you want to ask? Also, you don’t need to really raise your hoof when it’s just the two of us. That practice was developed to account for larger groups, like a classroom, where everypony asking questions at once could be disruptive towards the progression of a discussion like a class.”
I could remember doing the same thing a few times with Princess Celestia when I had first become her student. My how things had changed.
“‘Kay.” She slowly lowered her hoof, looking uncertain. “What ya mean by mata—mater—”
Dinky stuttered over the word a couple more times before I felt the need to help her. “Ma-te-ri-als?”
Dinky nodded. “Yeah, that.”
I made a mental note to watch my language around Dinky when I was trying to teach her. It wasn’t going to help either of us if I used words that she didn’t understand, and we either proceeded without her understanding what I was saying or we had to bring everything to a grinding halt to explain.
I pointed to the stack of books I had gotten her. “I mean things like the books.”
“Oh.” Dinky scrunched her lips as she looked at the books. “Then why didn’cha just say books?”
I took in a calming breath and reminded myself to be patient and to try to get us back on course. “I used ‘materials’ considering that can cover other things like documents, notes, and other written sources.”
Dinky prodded the stack of book and spoke before I could get to the syllabus. “Am I gonna have to read all this? Because it’s a lotta books.”
I was starting to gain a real appreciation for what Cheerilee did every day. “That’s what we are going to cover in the syllabus,” I said, trying to get us back on track. “Now if you will look at your copy, we’ll start with the sections called ‘Lessons Overview’ and ‘Lessons Objectives.’”
Dinky let out a whimper and picked up her syllabus to follow it with me. After covering the lesson overview and objectives, we proceeded to go over lesson requirements, readings, assignments, evaluation methods, and a tentative lesson schedule. I had experience at this type of thing working as a graduate assistant in school, and I had drawn upon that to help me set up Dinky’s lessons for the coming days.
Finishing, I put down my own copy of the syllabus and smiled at Dinky. “So, any questions?”
Dinky looked up from her syllabus and had a glazed look to her eyes. “Huh?”
I felt a frown form on my face. “You were paying attention, right?”
Dinky nodded. “Yeah-huh.” I gave her a scrutinizing look, and she returned with an innocent smile.
“Okay, then.” I hoped she was telling the truth. The syllabus was really important, and I needed her to understand what would be coming up so that she would be ready for our lessons.
I stood up from the table. “So, how about we start with our first lesson?”
“Yay!” Dinky hopped to her hooves. “What’cha gonna teach me?”
“We’re going to go over some of the basics right now.” I admittedly didn’t know all of what Dinky knew involving magic, so I decided to start by asking. “Now, do you know how to reach out with your magical senses yet?”
Dinky nodded vigorously, probably happy to say she knew something. “Sparky taught me how. It’s kinda hard, but I can feel how magic is all tingly an’ stuff.”
“It’s something you get better at with practice.” I pointed to my horn. “Now pay attention.” My horn glowed as I started to draw upon some of my magic. “One of the first steps to casting a spell is to draw upon your inner reserves of magic. It’s important to do so efficiently, to know how much to draw out for a specific spell, and to hold that magic as long as you need it.”
“‘Kay.” Dinky concentrated on my horn, and I felt her reach out with her magic senses to feel what I was doing.
I released the magic I had gathered. Technically, I was wasting that magic by not using it to cast a spell, but that was fine given that the lesson was just covering how to draw upon one’s magic. I did it a couple more times for Dinky to make sure she got a good look of what I was doing. “There; now do you think you can try?”
“Uh-huh!” Dinky puckered with concentration and stared up at her horn. It started glowing with a yellow aura.
“Now, not too much,” I instructed her. “We’re going to be doing this for a while, so don’t use up all your magic right away. The point of this exercise is to learn control and discipline. Now release the magic you had gathered without casting a spell, and do it again.”
“‘Kay, Miss Twilight.” She slowly released her magic, and I watched to make sure she didn’t lose control of it and cause something like a wild magic surge. It always paid to be a bit careful when learning magic. She stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth and started drawing on more of her magic, though in a more restrained manner like I had asked her to.
We repeated the exercise over the course of half an hour. I periodically instructed her on how to draw upon and hold onto her magic in a more efficient manner. I discovered that Dinky had significantly more magic than was normal for a unicorn her age. There were plenty of fillies her age who couldn’t even use magic at all. Granted, how and when a unicorn’s magic came in was fairly inconsistent. Some unicorns started having their magic come in at Dinky’s age, and others didn’t really have it come in until they got their cutie marks. Some had the amount of magic they had access to grow over the course of years as they grew older, and then you have unicorns like me who had an almost distressingly small level of magic until I earned my cutie mark.
The issue here being that Dinky did have a decent level of magic for a filly her age. I would be surprised if she didn’t grow up to at least be a Gamma-level unicorn. That wasn’t an issue per se. The problem was that it made me think about what Derpy had said about Dinky’s parentage and the tiny bits of information she had given to me about Dinky’s father. Magically powerful unicorns had run in my family since it had become a noble house centuries ago. It was to the point that it was pretty much expected. My brother wasn’t as strong as I was, but he was far from a magical lightweight, considering he could do things like protect an entire battalion.
So the fact that Dinky seemed to have more than a little bit of magical talent raised those suspicions I had about who her father might be. Great—right when I had thought I had pushed them out of my mind. The statistical chances that Shining Armor was the father were highly unlikely just due to the large pool of potential stallions that met Derpy’s description. Shame my brain wouldn’t let it rest.
There were a couple of spells I could probably learn to find out the truth, but most of them were pretty obvious about what they did if I remembered right. Best case scenario, I would get some very awkward questions from Dinky and Derpy after using them. Worst case, I get even more awkward questions if it turned out my brother was Dinky’s father—as unlikely a scenario as that was.
Dinky released the magic she had stored up and then grimaced and held her head. “Owie!”
Seeing my student’s discomfort, I wrapped a leg around her shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“My head’s all owie,” she mumbled in pain.
“That means it’s time for a break.” I hugged her to my side, and she nuzzled me slowly in the ribs. Likely, she had drained her magical reserves and was suffering physical side effects. That, and using a metaphysical muscle she wasn’t used to using were probably wearing her down. “If you’re ever feeling uncomfortable, just tell me and we’ll take a break. You don’t want to hurt yourself practicing. Trust me.”
Dinky murmured in agreement and nuzzled my side again. “Can I have some cookies and milk?”
I considered that Dinky may very well be manipulating me, but when I saw her looking up at me with her lower jaw out to make a sad frown, I didn’t really care. I smiled down at her. “Sure. Let’s head to the kitchen.” She probably really did need the break. Having her push herself too hard wasn’t healthy for her in any event, and having a snack and a break would likely help her recover for the rest of her lesson for the day.
“Yay!” Dinky hopped to her hooves, her fatigue immediately forgotten. Kids always did seem to be able to bounce back from things faster than adults.
The two of us walked into the kitchen to find Spike busily cooking some sort of stew. He always did like to experiment with recipes. Granted, sometimes his experiments didn’t always turn out so well—at least for what ponies considered appetizing. But the number of incidents where I found his experiments enjoyable versus unenjoyable was favorable enough for me to continue justifying being his test subject.
“Hi, you two.” Spike waved and hopped down from his stool by the stove. “How’s the whole magic thing going?”
I opened the ice box in order to find where the cookies and milk were. “Really well. We’re covering the basics right now, and Dinky’s getting a hang of it pretty nicely.”
Dinky nodded vigorously. “Yeah-huh! Miss Twilight’s the bestest teacher ever! Also...” As was her way, Dinky did what she always did when she met someone and gave Spike a big hug. Though, with the two of them being much closer to the same size, it looked like Dinky was doing her level best to crush poor Spike’s ribcage. “Hug! Whoa!” Her eyes widened in wonderment, and she nuzzled Spike’s chest. “You’re, like, rilly smooth...”
Spike looked like he was in danger of popping from within Dinky’s grasp. “Can’t ... breathe...” he coughed out. “Help...”
I could sympathize for my little assistant, given I’ve had the pleasure of having Dinky grasp onto my leg like an excessively fuzzy and adorable vice. Seeing that I didn’t have a small crowbar on hoof, I decided to use a different tactic to save Spike. I pulled out the milk and chocolate chip cookies from the fridge and a couple of glasses from the shelves. “Who wants cookies and milk?”
Dinky’s eyes brightened, and she gave Spike a final squeeze before letting him go. The sudden release in pressure almost caused Spike to fall to the floor. “I do! I do!” She hopped excitedly around me.
I chuckled and thought that, maybe, I wasn’t going to be halfway bad at this.
“It looks like you really wore her out,” said Derpy, motioning toward the napping form of Dinky.
I chuckled. “Yeah, looks like it.”
Dinky was lying down on a cushion lethargically, and she groaned with fatigue. She had bounced back from the first half of her lessons after getting a little bit to eat and drink, but our follow-up lesson on telekinesis had taken the energy right back out of her. It wasn’t very surprising. Magic could become exhausting to use after a certain point, and I had pushed Dinky a bit, given we only had so much time together to work on her magic.
Derpy looked at me with an apologetic grin. “I’m sorry about being a bit late for picking her up. Work was a bit more busy then I originally expected. I hope she wasn’t too much of a hooffull.”
I carefully lifted Dinky up with my magic and placed her on Derpy’s back. “It’s fine. Our first lesson went great. Even took a break to eat some milk and cookies in the middle.”
Derpy looked slightly shocked when I said that. She glanced back at her daughter before turning back to me. “You gave her cookies? As in with sugar?”
“Yes, is that a problem?” Given the look she was giving me, I worried that I might have done something wrong. I would hate the idea that I had given Dinky something she might get in trouble over. That would be an easy thing for either of us to forget to talk about before Dinky’s lessons started. I really should have made a list of questions to ask about like things I shouldn’t give to Dinky.
Derpy looked back to her daughter as she nuzzled into her mane. “No, not specifically. It’s just that normally Dinky is bouncing off the walls whenever she has anything with sugar in it. A little bit is fine, but she can be a hooffull if she gets more than two or three cookies.”
How many cookies had I let her have? Five? Six? From the way Derpy was putting it, Dinky should have exploded with sugary energy.
“I didn’t have any problems like that.” I picked up Dinky’s saddlebags and placed some of books and other materials in them. No sense making anypony have to come back to the library to pick up Dinky’s studying supplies. Especially her books. “I suppose using so much magic exhausted her.”
Derpy put on one of the most serious expressions I had ever seen on a pony. “I will make you two boxes of whatever types of muffins you like if you tell me your secrets.”
I was a bit taken aback by how somber the offer had been. I had heard Derpy took her muffins seriously, but this was a bit much. “Um, we could do that. Though you’re making it sound like I’m selling national security secrets here.”
Derpy gave me a flat look. “Twilight, do you have any idea how hard it can be to get a small child to settle down to go to bed?”
I considered that question for a moment. “Not really. I don’t have much trouble putting Spike to bed. Normally when it’s his bedtime, he is out like a light.” If anything, it was much harder to wake him up in the morning. Maybe that was part of his dragon biology. Dragons were capable of sleeping for a century or even longer when they got older.
Thinking back on my own childhood, I could see where Derpy might have some trouble. There had been more than one incident where my parents had told me to turn out the lights and go to sleep despite my protests that I wanted to read “just one more chapter.” Of course, turning out the lights hadn’t kept me from reading by hornlight well past my bedtime. Sometimes successfully or not depending on if my parents caught me doing so ... or if Shiny decided to tell on me.
“Well let me explain something to you,” Derpy said, letting me wrap Dinky’s saddlebags around her barrel. “For the typical weekday, I have to come home after a long day at work, sometimes picking Dinky up from school, make dinner, help Dinky with her homework, spend some family time with her and Sparkler, and then get Dinky to bed. I can’t go to bed before Dinky does, or she’ll be up all night and be tired in the morning when she needs to go to school. Sparkler’s a big help with Dinky, but she has her own life to live, schoolwork, and those part-time jobs she does for Rarity. Not to mention I have to give Sparkler her own time for love and attention. So anything that helps get my younger daughter to sleep is a blessing in my book.”
My admiration of Derpy certainly grew after hearing about what she had to go through on a daily basis. Conceptually, I had an idea that raising a child was a time-consuming and draining experience. Just taking care of Dinky for a couple of hours had taken more energy than I had really expected. I could only imagine what adding a teenager on top of raising Dinky must have taken out of Derpy.
“There are some exercises I would like Dinky to practice on a daily basis.” I levitated Dinky’s syllabus to show Derpy. “I’m sure Sparkler can monitor Dinky while she’s practicing. They aren’t anything too major, but they’ll likely take some energy for Dinky to do. Also if you could review Dinky’s syllabus to make sure that she’s ready for her next lesson, that would be great too.”
One of Derpy’s eyebrows cocked at that. “And you’re giving her homework?”
“It’s not too much,” I assured her. “Just some basics that will help her better control her magic. I showed her what she’s supposed to do earlier. Though there are some readings I would like for her to go over before our next lesson.” I clapped my forehooves together. “I’m sure she’ll really enjoy her books. I know I did. But if you have any questions, feel free to drop by and ask.”
“Thanks.” Derpy motioned for me to place the syllabus in Dinky’s saddlebags, and I did so. “I hate to have to run off, but we really do need to get going.”
“I understand.” I walked up to the front door and opened it for Derpy. “I’m sure you have to get ready for your trip to Canterlot tomorrow.”
Derpy flinched slightly when I mentioned Canterlot. “Oh, right ... that.”
I frowned at her response. “Something wrong?”
Derpy let out a long sigh and stopped by the doorway. “It’s just that one of my coworkers got hurt, and I was told I’m going to have to come into work tomorrow,” she said bitterly. “Hopefully we’ll be able to go to Canterlot in a couple of days, but that’s in the air right now.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I knew from personal experience how irritating it could be to have something suddenly change your plans. The parasprite infestations from the previous year had certainly put a damper on my hopes to see the Princess.
Dinky stirred on her mother’s back, and her eyes blinked open. Our conversation must have woken her up again. “Aren’t we gonna see everypony, Mommy?”
Derpy craned her head back to nuzzle Dinky. “We’ll see, Muffin, but I can’t promise anything right now.”
Dinky’s lips puckered into a pout. “But I wanna to see Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Cirrus!”
Derpy’s shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh, the weight of what she was telling her daughter visible. “I know, but sometimes plans change despite what we want. Mommy’s job is really important, and she has to do what her boss tells her. I’m sorry.”
The sight of Dinky sniffling started breaking my heart, and I spoke up before thinking through the solution I had come up with. “I could take Sparkler and Dinky to Canterlot.”
Derpy’s eyebrows rose. “Twilight, you don’t need to do something like that. I’m not gonna ask you to take a train all the way out to Canterlot.”
Dinky, for her part, was now paying intense attention to the adults determining whether she would get to see her grandparents and uncle or not. I supposed she was a pony who really loved her extended family.
I waved a hoof to allay her worries. “It wouldn’t be a problem. I was already planning on going to Canterlot anyways.”
Derpy frowned with concern. “In your condition? No offense, but you look like you’ve seen better days.” To be fair, I did look a little bit better when half of my head wasn’t wrapped in bandages.
I shook my head. “I’ll be going to the hospital tomorrow morning to have these taken off. After that I’m good to go. Trust me.”
Derpy’s brow furrowed in thought until her daughter nuzzled the back of her neck. “Please, Mommy? I wanna see everypony.”
With that, Derpy’s resistance crumbled. “Alright, if you’re sure you can handle my daughters, then I’m sure it’ll be alright.”
“Yay...” Dinky looked like she was about to excitedly hop around but lost her energy like a candle suddenly extinguished. “Mommy, I wanna go home. I’m tired.”
Derpy chuckled and exited the library. “Of course, Muffin. Let’s go home and get you to bed. You have a big day ahead of you.” She turned to me and gave me an appreciative nod. “Thanks again, Twilight. This means a lot to us.”
“It’s not a big deal,” I assured her. “Just a train ride and a walk to get them to their grandparent’s home, right?”
Derpy’s mouth turned up with a knowing smile. “Yes, I’m sure that’s all it will be.”
Why did she make it sound like I had made a big mistake?
I woke up to find Pinkie Pie standing over me with a big smile on her face.
“Goood mooorning, Twilight!”
I let out a shout of surprise at the unexpected morning greeting. “Pinkie! What are you doing?”
“Saying good morning to you, duh!” Pinkie hopped off my bed, grinning the whole way. I was still getting my thoughts in order as I stumbled through the sudden jump-start my friend had just put my brain through. “Because I know you’ve been all saddie-waddie lately. So I was thinking, you know what Twilight needs? A great morning to start a great new day. So Spike and I have been making you a super-duper breakfast that’s guaranteed to put a smile on your face to start the day.” Her smile became all the wider as she leaned her head towards mine. “There’s gonna be pancakes!”
I ran a hoof across my face as I tried to process everything. I touched the bandage covering my one eye. Right, that had happened. And it seemed Pinkie wanted to put me in a good mood before I headed out to Canterlot. Fair enough. I wasn’t completely thrilled with Pinkie sneaking into my house to surprise me, but that’s Pinkie for you. A certain level of comfort zone violation came with being friends with her, or even living in the same town as her. Ponies might have been a bit madder at her if not for the fact she only seemed to break into their houses to throw them a party or, like this case, make breakfast.
Sometimes I wondered if the reason so many ponies in Ponyville didn’t lock their doors was because it was unlikely to do anything against their most likely trespasser: Pinkie Pie. Either that, or the statistically nonexistant crime rate. At this point, it could go either way.
All things considered, I could wake up to worse things. “Sounds good, Pinkie,” I said patiently. “Just ... give me some time to clean up before I head downstairs. Alright?”
Pinkie Pie’s smile lost none of its luster at my request. “Okie dokie lokie. I just wanted you to wake up now so that everything would still be warm when you came down for breakfast. Cold pancakes are sad, and you don’t need anything else to make you sad right now.” That we could both agree on.
Her smile took on a mischievous edge and she took a moment rub a hoof through my mane. “Also you have bad bed-mane. So you better get to work on that. See you downstairs!” With that, she hopped her way down to the kitchen.
It looked like it was going to be one of those days.
Admittedly, the breakfast Pinkie and Spike had made was really good. It was almost criminal not to enjoy strawberry pancakes with plenty of whipped cream and syrup. The two of them really had outdone themselves. That’s not exactly hyperbole. The two of them had made more pancakes than the three of us could possibly eat, at least if we were an ordinary pair of ponies and one baby dragon. I was pretty sure Pinkie ate her own body mass’s worth in pancakes. Part of me was horrified, while the other part was semi-resigned to the seemingly supernatural eating habits of my friend.
It was nice to start out the morning right, if a bit oddly. You really can’t go wrong with pancakes, after all. Given all the craziness I had been going through as of late, just sitting down and enjoying a nice meal with Spike and Pinkie was a welcome change of pace.
But the meal did come to an end and it was time for all of us to go. Pinkie had work at Sugarcube Corner, and I had my visit to the hospital before going to the train station with Spike. So we made our goodbyes and departed from the library.
Thankfully, my trip to the hospital wasn’t too bad, all things considered. My bandage was removed and I was given a thorough examination. While the whole experience had been long and laborous, my eye seemed to have recovered just fine. Big surprise, that was a massive relief to me. The gash I had suffered on my cheek still felt tight when I put stress on it, but that would probably get better with time, and the swelling was pretty much gone at this point. Even if there was still a bit of bruising, it could have been worse. Much worse.
At least I could start to put that awful night behind me, for the most part, anyways. There was still that unresolved mess with Cloud Kicker, but at least I would have some time away from Ponyville to get my head on straight. Hopefully time and distance would be the cure I needed to figure out exactly what I needed to do. Granted, it wasn’t going to be all fun and games in Canterlot, since I was planning on looking into some things. Finding out you might have a half-sister wasn’t exactly the most thought-calming thing to learn.
My examination at the hospital done, I picked up Spike to go to the train station. When we arrived, I saw Rainbow Dash waiting in line to buy tickets with Sparkler and Dinky.
Dinky’s eyes immediately brightened when she saw me and she lept from Dash’s back to gallop the distance between us. She nearly barreled me over when she tackled me with a hug, and Spike was forced to grab my mane to keep from falling off of me. “Hi, Miss Twilight!” The little hug-automaton nuzzled my chest lovingly. “I’m super happy t’see ya, ‘cause that means we’re gonna be able t’see Grandma an’ Grandpa an’ Uncle Cirrus. Oh! And it also means I get t’see you too.”
I gave Dinky a warm smile as I returned the hug. It was hard not to be wrapped up in her enthusiasm. “Glad I could help. And it’s nice to see all of you, too.”
“And what about me?” Spike said in a half-pout. He never really liked to be excluded from things.
Not breaking her hug, Dinky looked around my chest to see Spike. “I didn’t see ya Spike. I’m sorry, but you’re kinda hard for me t’reach from here. So how ‘bout I hug Miss Twilight super hard so thatcha can feel it up there?”
Even Spike’s snarky heart was softened by the display of cuteness and he snickered as Dinky squeezed me tighter. “I guess that’ll work.”
Rainbow Dash put some bits on the train station ticket counter and turned her head towards me while she waited for her tickets. “Hey, Twilight. Heard you were taking Derpy’s kids to Canterlot for her. I’d have done it myself, but things are pretty crazy at work right now with Tornado Day coming up.”
“Don’t worry about it.” That did remind me that I was going to have to work to get a bunch of stuff ready for that day when I got back. All the stuff with Cloud Kicker had nearly made me forget about it. This is why I made schedules: so I didn’t forget the important stuff. “I was already planning on going to Canterlot. So when I heard these two needed an adult escort to get there...”
“I could’ve done it,” Sparkler grumbled. “M'old enough to take the train on my own, and s'not like I can't keep an eye on Dinky for a few hours.”
I could see the reason for her grumblings. Given she was reaching that young adult phase of life where you were a full-fledged adult in some ways, but not quite in others. Being an older teenager could be frustrating like that.
Dash snorted and put Sparkler in a headlock. She held onto her struggling goddaughter while giving her a good noogie. “Oh stop being so mopey. You know your mom’s just looking out for ya. Besides, Twilight’s pretty cool. Nowhere as cool as me, but still cool.” She shot me a confident smirk. “For an egghead anyways.”
“Thanks, Dash. I’m feeling the love,” I said sarcastically.
Dash shrugged, letting go of the struggling Sparkler so that she could pick up her goddaughters’s tickets from the counter. “Eh, it’s what I do. Just one of those things I do for my friends due to how awesome I am.” Dash had a way with modesty. Namely by avoiding the concept entirely.
“So, um...” Dash took a couple of steps away from Derpy’s kids to speak to me more quietly. “How’s the...” She made a vague motion around her eye.
“Oh, it’s fine,” I said softly so as to not be overheard. “There’s nothing wrong with the eye, thankfully.”
Dash let out a long, relieved sigh. “Good, I was worried.” Her expression went from one of relief to a grimace of anger. “I’d give every bit I have for five minutes with Sticks and Stones.” She clapped her front hooves together and ground them together. “They’re just lucky the gendarmerie got to them first, or I’d make them really regret hurting you.”
I rubbed at my forehead, feeling a rising pressure there from a topic I did not want to get into. “Could we not talk about it anymore? I’m fine, and would like to move forward now.” I felt Spike give me a hug around the neck, reminding me of another reason I didn’t want to talk about the whole Sticks and Stones thing. Spike didn’t deserve to be worried by stuff like this.
Dash’s anger evaporated into concern and she folded a wing around me and Spike. “It’s cool. We’ll go ahead and drop it.”
“Thanks.” I nodded and stepped up to the ticket counter to buy me and Spike a ticket. Dash took the moment to make sure Sparkler and Dinky were ready to head out, and that they had their luggage and everything else.
"Dinks, make sure you go to the bathroom before we head out." Sparkler said. "S'not something you want to try and deal with on the train. You remember the line last time?"
“I’m a’kay, Sparky,” Dinky answered without a second thought. She opened one of her saddlebags and looked inside it, probably to double-check something was still there, and then closed it. “And I got Favorite, so they won’t hafta stop the train so I can get my blankie.”
And now I suddenly had the image of Dinky asking the train conductor to stop the train and go back just so she could have her favorite blanket. She might actually be cute enough to pull it off, but it was probably best not to try and find out. Ponies might get angry if the train was turned around. Though one look at the bundle of adorableness might dissuade that anger.
The whistle of our train could be heard from the horizon, meaning it was time for all of us to get ready to board. “You got everything you need, Spike?”
Spike snorted. “Duh, of course I do.”
“Well then,” I said as the train pulled into the station. “Let’s go home to see the family.”
“Um.” Dinky stuck her tongue out of the side of her mouth as she looked over her cards. “Ya gotta five, Spike?”
Spike grinned. “Nope, go fish.”
“Aaaw, I don’t like goin’ fish.” Dinky looked at the deck with trepidation. “It means I gotta pull a card.”
“It’s okay, Dinky.” I gave her a patient smile to encourage her. “Take your time and do it just like I showed you.”
“A’kay, but don’t laugh if I mess up again.” Dinky scrunched up her face in concentration. Her horn glowed in the yellow of her magic and soon the deck of playing cards was engulfed by a field of her magic. Slowly, the top three or so cards started sliding off the top of the deck.
“Careful,” I cautioned. “You only want to draw one. Picture yourself just grabbing the one card on top, and then actualize it with your magic.”
Dinky did a soft little groan, born out of either frustration or from the attempt at fine control of the telekinesis spell. The top card of the deck lifted up and slowly floated Dinky’s direction. But her magic field fluctuated for a brief second and she crumpled the card in half.
“I’m sorry!” Dinky’s mouth dipped into a sad frown. “I didn’t mean t’break the card!”
“Don’t worry about it, Dinky.” I lifted up the crumpled card with my own magic, and with a quick repair spell the card was as good as new. “I got this deck specifically so you could practice fine telekinesis control. And besides.” I gave her a playful rub on the head. “It lets us play a fun game while riding on the train, right?”
“I guess,” Dinky said resignedly. She placed a hoof on the card to drag it over to herself.
I would have prefered if she had done that with her magic, but I was going to let her get away with that for now so that she had a little bit of time to mentally recover from what was technically a failure. I had come up with this little exercise to help Dinky practice her telekinesis while still having fun with it. Telekinesis, like many spells, was a spell that only practice would let you get better at. I didn’t really want to push how much Dinky could lift yet, not at her age. So instead we were working at fine control. A deck of cards was pretty cheap and easy to replace, so even if Dinky completely destroyed the deck beyond repair somehow, it wouldn’t be any kind of major loss.
The game itself wasn’t terribly interesting to me given I could memorize what everypony had based on what cards they asked for. It wouldn’t have been hard for me to eventually win with that kind of advantage. There was still a factor of luck, but I likely had an above average chance of winning if I applied myself. Though watching Dinky and Spike childishly play off of one another was pretty amusing. Those two were definitely acting like this was a contest. But my main goal was to help Dinky with her magic, and on that front she was slowly getting better from the practice.
If I had to guess, based off the way Sparkler was absentmindedly monitoring the game, she was probably just enjoying spending time with her sister. It was probably a relief to her that Dinky wasn’t getting bored and wanting to do something more energetic in the constricting space of the traincar. Children could be cute and fun, but they also took a bunch of energy to keep up with.
Considering the game wasn’t particularly mentally taxing to keep up with, I decided to strike up a conversation with Sparkler to help pass the time. It also doubled as an opportunity to practice those social skills I had been working on since coming to Ponyville. Why have one reason for doing something when you could come up with several productive reasons for doing so?
I gently nudged Sparkler in the shoulder to catch her attention. “So, you and Dinky have any plans while you’re visiting your family?”
“Mhm.” Sparkler asked for a six from Spike and received one, much to Spike’s consternation. “Gramma and Grampa are planning on taking us to some museums or something like that. We’ll also probably do the usual stuff, like go out to eat and play some board games at their house.”
“Oh! And go t’Game Stable!” The mere thought of going to Game Stable caused Dinky to lose her concentration on her levitation spell, and her cards fell, scattering in a half dozen different directions. I wasn’t too concerned with Dinky’s troubles with telekinesis at this juncture. Learning how to keep up a telekinesis spell was just one of those things you had to learn to do as a unicorn, and it namely took practice, practice, and more practice.
“Stoopid telekene—telaken—floaty magic.” She grumbled and went through the process of regathering her cards.
I smirked at Dinky’s trouble with pronunciation, remembering all too well my own trouble at trying to pronounce new words at her age. “Sounds good.” I could have probably picked up the five Dinky most likely had, but decided to be nice to the youngest pony of our group. Instead she asked Sparkler for a ten, which she didn’t have. “You were also going to see your uncle?”
Sparkler smiled at the mention of her uncle. “S’why I was so happy to hear we were gonna be able to go to Canterlot, even though Mom was too busy to take us. Uncle Cirrus is gonna take me to see a DJ-Pon3 concert!” She gave an excited, high pitched squeal that made my ears flatten.
Dinky rubbed at one of her ears. “Careful, Miss Twilight. Talkin’ about DJ makes Sparky all squeaky.”
“No kidding?” Spike grumbled. “I remember when Twilight did that when she got to meet Jade Singer to get one of her books signed. I thought my ears were going to bleed the way she was screaming and jumping around.”
“Ha-ha, Spike.” So maybe I was a bit excited to have a book signed by one of my favorite authors ever. I think I had the right to let myself go just a little bit. But still, I prefered to move the conversation away from an incident that caused an entire bookstore’s clientele to stare at me. “So, Sparkler, who's DJ-Pon3?” The name did sound familiar, but I couldn’t remember why off the top of my head.
Sparkler jaw fell agape, like I had just asked her who Princess Celestia was. “How do you not know about Vinyl Scratch? She’s only the best musician in all of Equestria—no—the world! I mean she only makes the best dubstep ever. Not to mention electronic music, and ... well, everything. Everything she does is awesome. And Uncle Cirrus bought us tickets to go see her tomorrow! I can’t wait.”
Her saddlebag lit up with her magic as she pulled out a rolled-up poster. I also couldn’t help but notice, with a bit of satisfaction, that Sparkler was indeed becoming better with her energy control. Seems that gem I had given her was just the trick she needed.
Sparkler unrolled the poster for all of us to see, her excitement clear to anypony that saw the big grin on her face. “And I’m so gonna get her autograph and put this up in my room. That would make this trip absolutely perfect!”
I blinked a couple of times as I stared at the poster. On it was a white mare with a two-tone blue mane, covered in wrap-around glowsticks. She looked to be running a record player and was having the time of her life. “DJ-Pon3” was scribbled in a bold font across the top of the page.
And she looked like a dead ringer for a female version of my big brother.
To say the least, that was a bit creepy. I remember back when I was a filly how I once teased my brother with the idea of turning him into a mare with a spell, and even threw up an illusion of what he would probably look like if I did something like that. I wasn’t really serious about doing something like that given it was just some harmless childish teasing, but I couldn’t deny that my illusion from all the way back then looked like the mare on this poster. Not to mention looking at that poster made me immediately think about what Cloud Kicker had said about a DJ who looked like my brother. Some of those details I tried not to think about too hard given the possible familial relationship, but others were staring me right in the face right now.
Multiple questions churned in my head. Was this the pony Cloud Kicker had mentioned before? There were certainly ponies who looked very similar but didn’t share any immediate familial relationships. Could she really be my sister, or was this just a really freaky coincidence? Was my dad conducting an affair? Did my mom have any idea? I had heard rumors of my father’s ... extracurricular activities, but I had dismissed them to be nothing more than that, rumor. I had heard my share of superfluous rumors such as the one that I was Princess Celestia’s daughter, or some clandestine project to create some sort of super unicorn, so it wasn’t hard to just tone it all out as the usual Canterlot rumormongering. But as much as I wanted to dismiss my talk with Cloud Kicker, the rumors of my Dad’s activities, and Vinyl’s physical similarities to Shiny as just a coincidence, the idea just kept nagging at me.
I figured I would be looking into this in Canterlot—even if I hadn’t quite thought out how I was going to go about investigating whether I had a half-sister. I could potentially ask this Vinyl Scratch, DJ-Pon3—or whatever she was called—if she knew anything. Though I had a feeling that would be easier said than done. But I’ve saved the world a couple of times or so, so I wouldn’t put this matter into the impossible category. Which, upon contemplation, really shows how skewed my perspective has become over the last couple of years.
I felt something poke my knee, and I snapped back to reality. “World to Twilight. You still in there?” Spike poked me in the knee again and gave that frown he gave me when he was feeling particularly put upon as my assistant.
I shook my head. “Yeah—yeah, I’m good. Just thinking, is all.”
Dinky poked at my other knee and made me wonder how long I had been out of it for the both her and Spike to get in on the act. “Good, ‘cause you were looking rilly spaced out. You kinda looked like Scootaloo when she’s rilly bored an’ not payin’ attention, an’ then Miss Cheerilee asks about what she’s teachin’ and then Scootaloo will pretend she was payin’ attention an’ stuff, but she wasn’t so she looks rilly silly in front of the class.”
“If you say so.” I shook my head once again to help clear it. I really needed to keep from zoning out like that.
“Could be worse. It coulda been like Sparky, ‘cause she gets all cootie-faced whenever she talks ‘bout Ratchet.” Dinky made a gag face that made it pretty clear she disapproved of the whole ‘special somepony’ thing.
"Cootie-faced, huh?" Sparkler reached out and pulled Dinky into a headlock. "C'mere, you—your brain needs a massage."
Dinky squealed as her older sister started to noogie her. "Gaah! Miss Twilight, halp! Sparky's gonna bald my mane!" She attempted to squirm out of her older sister’s grip, scattering the cards from the game around the floor as she did so, but her efforts were in vain.
“Sorry, Dinky, but I know better than to get between two siblings when they’re like this.” While the antics of Derpy’s daughters helped lighten my mood, they couldn’t prevent me from thinking about what that poster had potentially revealed to me. “So Sparkler, you said that Vinyl was performing tomorrow?”
“Mhm.” Sparkler let go of her sister and the two of us went about picking up the scattered cards so that they wouldn’t bother the other passengers. We had already gotten enough looks from everypony else to make me more than a little self-conscious of Sparkler and Dinky’s roughhousing. “Why do you ask?”
“I’m considering seeing if I might like dubstep.”
I stepped off the train at the Canterlot train station with Sparkler and Dinky in tow and Spike riding on my back. I glanced around the crowd to try and find one of the ponies I was looking for. The three of us kept moving forward as to not block the door of the train. That type of thing always annoyed me. It’s so inefficient and rude to just stop walking in the middle of any doorway while other ponies were trying to get through too. It also didn’t help that a decent number of ponies had gathered outside of the door and were unhelpfully making it harder for ponies to exit the train in order to meet whoever they were meeting sooner.
We eventually reached a point where the crowd became thinner, and I spotted one of the ponies I had hoped would be there to greet us. Mom smiled as she waved to catch my attention. Dinky was riding on Sparkler’s back, so I nodded for Sparkler follow me and we made our way to my mom.
Mom engulfed me and Spike in a big hug as soon as I was within reach. “Twilight, Spike, it’s so good to see you two!”
“Good to see you too, Mom.” I nuzzled her neck and felt the familiar light gray fur of her coat.
Spike gave Mom another squeeze. “Yeah, great to see you again.”
Mom broke the hug and straightened the long white-and-violet striped bangs of her mane. Looking at her, she looked like she always had to me, a older mare with a matronly aura and a steady core of kindness underlined with strength. “How are you doing? Are you feeling alright?” A worried frown creased her face and she reached out to stroke the cheek that had been injured the other night. “When I heard about what happened...”
Being reminded of the incident with Sticks and Stones and the worry it probably put my parents through made it feel like there was a pit in my stomach. I couldn’t help but feel at least a bit guilty over being hurt. Big surprise, my parents and brother didn’t like hearing about all the danger I had gotten into since coming to Ponyville. Not that I put myself in mortal danger on purpose. It’s not my fault when little things like Nightmare Moon returning and Discord escaping happened. Okay, so maybe things like getting turned into stone by a cockatrice could have been prevented. But how was I supposed to foresee a piano was going to fall on my head studying Pinkie Pie’s Pinkie Sense?
I instinctually gripped my mom’s hoof with my own. “Hey, I’m fine, really. The doctors said I’ve made a full recovery. Nothing to worry about.” I felt Spike hop down from my back and wrap his arms around my leg. Endless night, I hated how much all of this affected him.
The worry dissipated slightly from my mom, though I could still feel some tension from her as she squeezed my hoof back. “If you say so. Just be more careful in the future, okay? I hate hearing that you’ve been hurt.”
I nodded. “I’ll try, Mom. Promise.” If I kept going at this rate, Celestia was going to give me my own guard to keep me safe.
Having given me a suitable amount of attention for the moment, Mom turned back towards Spike and gave him his own little hug. I did have to give my family credit for treating Spike as another member of the family. That meant a lot to me given how big a part of my life Spike has become. “And how are you doing?” Mom asked.
Spike hugged back. “I’m doing good. And I’ve learned some new cooking recipies I would like to show you later, if you’d like.”
“How could I say no? I can’t think of a single meal of yours that disappointed.” Mom gave him a teasing poke. “Well, except that one time you served us that one with a few too many minerals in it.”
“That was by accident,” Spike grumbled. “I forgot I had crushed up gems in that casserole.”
I moved to let a pony move through us before giving Spike a playful nudge to the shoulder. “And did no favors to our teeth,” I teased. Spike muttered something under his breath and looked down at the ground, shuffling his feet in an embarrassed fashion. I nuzzled him to help him feel not so bad. “It was just the one time, silly. You know we love your cooking.” That compliment seemed to help lift that dark cloud from his head at least a little bit.
“And while we’re on the topic of food...” Mom reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a hoof-sized sapphire. “I have a little gift for our little Spikey-wikey.”
Whatever foul mood Spike might have been getting into was immediately dispelled at the sight of the gem and he licked his lips. “That for me?”
“Sure is!” Mom levitated the gem over to Spike. He grasped it and eagerly started sucking on it, making pleased murmurs when he did so.
I fixed my mom with a disapproving frown. “Mom, you’re going to spoil him. I have a very specific diet set for his gem intake.” I couldn’t help but notice that Spike had put the sapphire further into his mouth while giving me a disapproving glower. No doubt he didn’t want to be separated from his new gem.
Mom waved dismissively. “It’ll be fine, dear. Besides, I don’t get to see him nearly often enough. Isn’t that right, Spike?”
“Mhm,” he agreed while Mom gave him a motherly nuzzle. He also didn’t take the gem out of his mouth. Probably to keep me from snatching the gem away from him if I wanted to. Not that I was likely to at this point for all the good it would do.
I let out a long sigh. “Fine, he can have the gem.”
With that settled, Mom looked behind the two of us to see Sparkler and Dinky watching on. “And who are these two?”
“Oooh! So you’re Miss Twilight’s mommy?” Dinky leapt from Sparkler’s back to land on the ground, and without missing a beat, ran over to stand before my mom. “Hi! My name’s Dinky Doo! I’m learnin’ magic from Miss Twilight. What’s your name? ‘Cause I don’t wanna just call ya Miss Twilight’s Mom.”
Mom chuckled and lowered herself closer to Dinky’s level. “My name is Twilight Velvet.”
“Mom.” I gestured towards my charges for the day. “This is Dinky Doo, and her older Sister, Sparkler. They’re both Ditzy Doo’s kids. I wrote about them.”
She nodded and smirked down at Dinky. “So you’re the student my daughter’s decided to start teaching? She’s written all about you and you’re just as precious as she said you were.”
“Yah-huh!” Dinky nodded enthusiastically, not failing to miss the opportunity to meet and greet a new pony. “Miss Twilight’s teaching me all sortsa stuff, even if her silly-bus is kinda boring. But a buncha the other stuff is rilly cool. She’s the bestest teacher in Ponyville!” She took a moment to touch a hoof to her lips in a contemplating gesture. “Um, except for maybe Miss Cheerilee, my teacher at school. She’s really great too, and I love them both. So ... can I say they’re both bestest?”
“I think that would be fine,” Mom assured her. She looked up at Sparkler, and something flashed in her eyes. “Hm, so you’re Dinky’s big sister, are you?”
Sparkler stepped aside of a pony trying to brush past us. “That’s me. S’nice to meet you, Missus Twilight. Er.” Biting her lower lip, she looked between the two of us. “Would it be okay for me to call you Missus Velvet? Gonna be a bit awkward to call both of you ‘Twilight.’”
Mom nodded. “Of course. And ‘Duchess Velvet’ or just ‘Duchess’ should be fine, too.”
Sparkler’s eyes widened at that. “Wait, ‘duchess’?”
“Whoa! Does that make you a rilly important pony?” Dinky asked.
Mom smirked. “Somewhat,” she said cryptically. “I may have had a lunch or two with Their Highnesses.”
“Well, a duchess is the second highest rank of nobility in Equestria, short of being a princess,” I explained. But I was quick to add, “Not that you should treat her differently from anypony else, of course. Except you should treat her with respect considering she’s a duchess. So make sure to treat her with the respect her titles demand.” My mouth started running as I tried to figure out how best to explain this to the two of them. “But she’s still a pony, but also she’s my mom, and—”
Mom put a hoof on my shoulder and made an amused chuckled. “I think they get the point, dear. I’m sure the two of them will act like perfect ladies.”
I felt my cheeks start to flush. “Oh, right.”
“Um.” Dinky shuffled a hoof along the stone of the train station floor. “Can I still hug ya?”
Mom opened a leg invitingly. “I don’t see why not.”
Dinky did so.
Introductions out of the way, we all made our way towards the home of Derpy’s parents so that we could drop Sparkler and Dinky off there. I figured that would be the most responsible thing to do, and thankfully Mom was more than understanding. It was pretty obvious that the two of them wanted to see their grandparents. Especially Dinky, who kept asked her beleaguered sister how close we were and how much longer it would take to get there.
While I had grown comfortable in Ponyville, there was still a big part of me that missed Canterlot. There was just so much that Canterlot had that Ponyville simply didn’t between the larger libraries, stadiums, opera houses, and so on. And despite the city being perched along the side of the mountain, efforts were taken to have plenty of small gardens and parks throughout the city to give it a welcoming and cultured atmosphere. Also, the view is pretty great. It’s a little hard not to look down from the mountain and take in the sight of all of Equestria. Not that I planned on moving back anytime soon, but it was nice that the city was close enough to visit now and again.
The white marble streets of Canterlot had their usual bustle of ponies walking from one place to another. I wouldn’t describe the generally narrow streets as crowded, but they were certainly more busy than the wide streets Ponyville had.
Deciding to strike up some conversation while we followed Sparkler, I turned to my mom. “So where are Dad and Shiny?”
Mom stepped to allow a pony to walk between us before replying. “Your father will be meeting us for lunch after we’re done here. Shiny is busy right now, but he was hoping to be able to see you later this evening. But we’ll just have to see.”
“Oh.” I couldn’t help but feel a bit depressed over not being able to see my big brother right away.
It was good to hear that I would be able to see Dad, but it was sounding like Shiny might be too busy to see me today. That was the problem with him being the Captain of the Guard, it meant he always had something that needed his attention. So he had to prioritize between some fire that needed to be put out at work and seeing his little sister. Probably why he hadn’t been able to see me in Ponyville yet. He was a stallion in high demand. I should hopefully be able to see him sometime while I was in Canterlot.
“Bummer. I was hoping to get to see Shiny again.” Spike sucked on his gem before continuing. “At least we’ll get to see your dad, Twilight.”
“Yeah, that’s true,” I acknowledged.
Mom gave me an encouraging nudge to the shoulder. “Buck up, you know your big brother wants to see you. He just has a very demanding job. Besides, he told me there was something important he had to tell you.”
“I know.” I sighed. “So what is it he wants to tell me?” I doubted it could be a promotion. Little hard to be promoted higher than the commander of all of Equestria’s armed forces. So I was a bit at a loss what he wanted to tell me about.
“Oh, that’s for him to tell you.” She smirked at me conspiratorially. I suspected Mom had gotten good at that smirk from being a Royal Magus. Being secretive about information was pretty much a pastime of theirs. It could also be very frustrating to deal with Mom. She was kind of like Princess Celestia in that she liked to hold onto information tantalizingly close to me but just out of reach.
“Can’t I just know now? Pleeease?” I gave Mom the sweet smile I reserved for when I wanted something from her. Sometimes it worked.
“No.”
And sometimes it didn’t.
She kept right on grinning at me. “Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough.”
“Fine,” I grumbled.
The smirk slowly faded from Mom’s face as we walked a little bit in silence. “So you ready for tomorrow morning?”
Knowing what she was talking about, I nodded slowly. “Yeah.” My ears flattened and that was all I wanted to say on the matter.
“Hey, I’m here for you.” Spike wrapped his arm around me neck to hug me.
“I know you are.” I nuzzled him, feeling comfort from his presence.
Sparkler’s ears perked and she craned her head back towards us. “You two planning something tomorrow?”
Mom smiled at Sparkler pleasantly while waving dismissively. “Just a little family thing you don’t have to worry about, dear. You concentrate on having fun with your family over the next couple of days.”
Sparkler puckered her lips as she gave the two of us a examining look. “If you two say so...”
Before Sparkler could say anything else, Dinky sprung up to stand on Sparkler’s back and pointed. “Oooh! Oooh! There’s Gramma an’ Grampa’s house!” She hopped down from Sparkler’s back and ran towards the home.
Calling the Doo home a house seemed to be a bit of an understatement. The narrow, three-story building was more of a small manor, at least by Canterlot standards. Space wasn’t cheap in Canterlot given the city was perched on the side of Mount Avalon. Most ponies in the city lived in apartments or condos, or on the second story of the building that housed their business. It was usually preferable to spend one’s bits on improving their living space or taking advantage of all the restaurants and forms of entertainment the capital of Equestria contained.
So the fact that Derpy’s parents owned a building meant they probably had a good chunk of money to their names. That seemed a bit at odds with the humble Ponyville mailmare I knew, but it is true that every pony has a story. Maybe I would ask Derpy about it someday when it seemed appropriate.
Dinky was vigorously knocking at the door by the time the rest of us had caught up with her. Sparkler gently grabbed Dinky’s hoof to keep her from drilling a hole through the door and gave her a smirk. “Careful, Dinks. I think they probably already heard you.” Sparkler's head tilted as she noticed a piece of paper stuck to the door. She pulled it down to take a closer look.
Dinky craned her neck to try and get at an angle where she could read whatever was written on the paper also. “What’s it say, Sparky? Come on, tell me.”
“Give me one sec. Sheesh, Dinks.” Sparkler grimaced and lowered the paper. “Bummer. Seems Grampa had something come up at the last minute at work and had to take care of it. He says that he’s gonna try and get back as soon as possible, but it could take him all day.”
Dinky’s lips puckered into a pout. “Aaaw! That’s no fun. I wanna see everypony.” After a second she added, “And go t’Game Stable.”
“That isn’t too much of a problem, is it?” Mom asked.
Sparkler shook her head. “Nah, Mom gave me the key to the place.” To make her point, she pulled out said key from her saddlebags and proceeded to unlock the door. “Grampa said for us to come in and wait for him.”
Looking through the doorway, I could see a well-furnished foyer that only confirmed earlier evidence that the grandparent Doos did seem to have a fair bit of wealth. I even saw some Zebrican artifacts hanging on the walls.
I rubbed my chin as I thought over the situation. “What about your grandma?”
“Busy with a prior commitment today.” Sparkler made an annoyed sigh and put her key away. “Something about meeting an old friend or whatever, but we already knew about that.”
“Sorry to hear about that, girls,” I said, offering sympathy. That was a shame to hear, especially given how despondent Dinky now looked. Sure, it was probably only going to be a few hours before they were all reunited, but the small things can be pretty crushing when you’re a kid.
Mom looked between the two of them and I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. “Sparkler? Dinky? How about you come with us to get lunch? Maybe we can even take you to a few places to pass the time. I know it’s not the same as seeing your family, but it would let you get out and do something around Canterlot instead of being cooped up in your grandparents’ house.”
Dinky’s face immediately brightened at the proposal. “Can we, Sparky, can we? Miss Twilight is rilly nice, an’ so’s Spike an’ Missus Duchess.”
Sparkler rubbed at the back of her neck as she thought the idea over. “I don’t know. I don’t want Grampa worrying about where we are.”
“It’ll be fine, dear. You two won’t be alone with us here, and your mother knows that you’re with Twilight.” Mom’s horn glowed and a quill and inkpot popped into existence. Her horn continued to glow and I could feel her casting an additional spell over the sheet of paper. “How about you go ahead and leave a note for everypony. I’ve cast a spell on paper so that the next time somepony picks it up I’ll know about it. If your grandparents come back before we do, we’ll know to come right here to drop you off.” Her mouth turned up with a maternal smile that certainly made it easy for me to trust her.
I gave Sparkler my own welcoming smile, liking the idea the more I thought about it. “Yeah, we could have some fun around the city. I can think of a few places you two might enjoy.”
After a few moments of thinking and looking into her pleading sister’s eyes, she nodded and started writing. “Okay, I guess this should be alright. At least as long as we come back before nightfall.”
Dinky hopped around excitedly. “Yay! Thanks, Sparky.” She hugged her sister as Sparkler slid the letter under the door.
Sparkler pulled herself from Dinky’s hug and levitated her sister onto her back. “Yeah, yeah. Just be good for everypony, okay?”
Dinky nodded enthusiastically. “You betcha!”
All things considered, it looked like it was going to be an enjoyable afternoon for all of us.
Mom lead us to a Roaman restaurant that my family often went to. Old childhood memories resurfaced as I took in the sights and smells of the place. We passed by the classical-styled Ionic marble columns and artwork copying works from pre-Great Migration Roam as we were shown to our table. The aroma of sauces, pastas, and garlic pleased my sense of smell as we sat, and my stomach reminded me that I hadn’t had anything to eat that day since having pancakes for breakfast with Pinkie.
We were seated and given our menus by the waiter. After taking our requests for drinks, the waiter swiftly departed to allow us time to pick out what we wanted to eat.
Sparkler opened her menu and her eyes widened a bit. “This place seems pretty fancy. There aren’t even any prices on the menus.” It wasn’t hard to imagine her going over the potential prices on the menu and how much lighter her bitpurse would be by the end of the meal. While the meals were, more often than not, really good in Canterlot, it could get pretty pricey if you weren’t careful. Especially for the really fancy places that didn’t list their prices. Something I quickly found out during school when I had to budget for meals. Nothing makes you appreciate your parents like the expense of a nice hot meal.
Mom gave Sparkler a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry about the cost, dear. I’m paying.”
I could hear the struggle going on in Sparkler’s head between wanting to save some bits and her pride when she said, “You don’t have to. Mom gave us some bits for stuff like this.”
Mom waved dismissively. “Really, it’s fine. This is my treat. Save your money for later.”
Sparkler’s shoulders relaxed as the resistance in her waned. “If it’s really alright...”
“Of course it is,” Mom assured her. “Nothing wrong with accepting a meal from your elders. Now go ahead and pick what you like, both of you.”
Sparkler made a neutral murmur as she returned to looking her menu over. I knew better than to argue with Mom over this. Since she’s a duchess, I have seen her pay for many meals over the years. It was the social custom in Canterlot for those of higher station to pay for the meals of others.
Dinky was much more enthusiastic and cheerful with my mom’s offer. “Thanks, Mrs. Velvet. You’re rilly nice.”
Mom nodded. “You’re welcome, Dinky.”
Spike rubbed at his chin as he considered what to order. “Hey, could we get some extra breadsticks? This place always has great breadsticks.” Having long ago mastered Canterlot dining customs and how to get various little treats out of my parents, Spike gave my mom a big, innocent smile.
“I don’t see why not,” Mom said.
Having decided to go with my old favorite lasagna, I asked, “So Mom, do you know when Dad will be showing up?”
Mom looked up from her menu. “He should be here before too long, assuming nothing at work is keeping him.”
“Alright,” I said somewhat mutely. That was a problem with Dad’s work, things needing his immediate attention tended to come up. More than one family meal had been preempted by his job, and it was something I had more or less resigned myself to happening now and again.
After a few minutes, the waiter came by again and put our drinks on the table. She took our orders (with an order of extra breadsticks, of course) and collected our menus before departing. Mom looked like she was about to strike up a conversation when a stallion and a pair of ponies from the Royal Guard stepped up to our table.
The confident looking stallion was of average height and build, and appeared well kempt but nearing the end of his middle age with his slightly worn features. His light blue coat and dark blue mane still possessed most of their luster though, and his smile was as warm as I remembered it. Dad nodded to everypony at the table. “Sorry for being a little late.” He pecked Mom on the cheek before giving me a big, paternal hug. “How’s my little filly doing?”
“I’m good.” I hugged him back and enjoyed the feeling of my father’s embrace. “You?”
“Getting along.” Dad gave me a final squeeze before turning to Spike. “Hey, Spike. My daughter treating you alright?”
Dad offered a hoof to Spike and he bumped it with a fist. “Oh, you know, tells me to get this and get that while she does her research. Sometimes we go on crazy adventures. The usual stuff.”
Dad chuckled. “Sounds right. At least it’s not all bad. I have a nice big ruby with your name on it for watching over my Twily.”
Spike licked his lips. “That sounds like a good reward.”
I narrowed my eyes at the scene. “Dad, he already got a big gem from Mom earlier.” I swear, my parents were always spoiling Spike whenever we visited. This was doubly annoying given I was trying to be more responsible with Spike now.
Dad leaned his head towards Spike to whisper, “I’ll give it to you after dinner tonight.”
“I heard that, you know,” I grumbled.
“Oh, relax, Twily. You know Spike’s a member of the family.” Dad pulled Spike in for a hug to help make his point. “No reason I can’t treat him now and again.” He fixed me with a more serious stare. “Besides, we barely get to see you two anymore.”
That last statement caused a pang of guilt in me. It was true that we hadn’t visited them as often as we probably could have. Darn it, Dad had always been good at turning the tables on me during an argument. I sighed as I rubbed at my eyes. “Fine, Spike can have another gem later.”
“Good. Now...” He flashed a big smile at Sparkler and Dinky. “Who is the lovely young mare and cute little filly joining us for lunch?”
Mom gestured at the two of them. “Dear, this is Sparkler and—”
Not content to wait for Mom to finish introductions, Dinky had dashed around the table to give Dad the traditional Dinky greeting. “And I’m Dinky Doo!”
Dad was forced back a step as he was assaulted by the ball of adorableness. “So you’re the student my daughter wrote about?”
Dinky nodded enthusiastically. “Yuh-huh! Miss Twilight’s a super-great magic teacher and I learn a lot from her.” She hesitated for a second before asking, “Um, what’s your name? ‘Cause I don’t wanna just call ya Miss Twilight’s Dad.”
Dad patted her on the head. “You can call me Duke Night Light if you like.”
“Oooh, are ya an important pony too?” Dinky asked.
“You could say that.” Dad grinned mischievously. “Most ponies would consider the Grand Vizier of Equestria to be important.”
“Whoa!” Dinky’s eyes widened. “That means you’re a really super important pony, then?”
“Oh geeze, Dinks.” Sparkler reach over to pull Dinky back a couple of steps away from Dad. “Sorry ‘bout that. Dinks is a hugger.”
Dinky gave her big sister a pout. “What? I just wanna hug Mr. Night Light.”
Dad waved off the concern. “Don’t worry about it. She’s just enthusiastic. Trust me, I’ve been through worse. Having little fillies giving you a surprise hug is much better than when ponies throw rotting vegetables at you.” He gave them a reassuring smile. “But yes, that does make me somewhat important.”
“He does work at Princess Celestia’s right hoof.” I shuffled in my seat. Talking about how important my parents were never made me particularly comfortable. “Not that I’m bragging or anything. I’m just stating a fact given the position of grand vizier has traditionally been an important one in Equestrian history since Unicornia.”
Mom patted me on the shoulder. “I think they understand.”
I chuckled awkwardly. “Right, of course.”
“So I guess that explains the guards.” Sparkler nodded her head towards the two guards that had followed my dad into the restaurant. They seemed to be doing their best job at looking stoic while glancing around for threats.
“They come with the job. So don’t mind them.” Dad sat down next to Mom. “They’re just doing their jobs and they prefer it if you don’t distract them. Plus they help keep us from being disturbed while we eat. It’s hard for me to go anywhere without somepony recognizing me and wanting to talk about something like taxes or zoning codes.”
Sparkler squirmed a bit in her seat and was noticeably trying not to look at the guards. “Still seems kinda rude to just ignore them.”
“You get used to them being around, trust me,” Dad said. That was somewhat true. Living around ponies who had guards around them all day every day did tend to desensitize you to their presence. Only so many study sessions and meals with Princess Celestia and your parents you can go through without starting to see the guards standing around as part of the background. It’s a bit terrible to think of ponies like that, but they really did try to be unobtrusive to those they guarded.
Sparkler turned to me with a raised eyebrow. “So is there anypony in your family that isn’t important, Miss Twilight?”
Spike let out a snort. “As if. Her older brother is the Captain of the Royal Guard.”
Sparkler did a low whistle. “You know, as much as I’m surprised, I really should have figured.”
“We’re ponies, just like everypony else.” I ran a hoof through my mane, feeling awkward at the admission that my family was made up of some fairly important ponies.
Sparkler’s look made me feel that she was less than convinced. “So a bunch of nobles that help the princesses run the government, and at least one of you has saved the world? Yeah, just like everypony else.”
Mom smiled as she nuzzled me. “Twilight’s always been a bit embarrassed about her family’s status. Haven’t you, dear?”
I felt my cheeks start to flush at the attention. “I just don’t like bragging.” It wasn’t as though I was ashamed of my family or anything like that. I just preferred for ponies to treat me normally, and I prefer to be judged on my own works rather than the legacy of my family and our titles.
“Wait, you have a brother?” A spark lit up in Dinky’s eyes. “I didn’t know that.”
“It doesn’t tend to come up much,” I admitted. That reminded me, I still needed to tell all my friends about him. Shame that would lead to questions like what he did for a living, and thus the rest of my family. I could be vague about the details, true, but that felt like I would be acting deceptively. Not a precedent I wanted to set with them or anypony else. So I tended to just not bring Shiny up whenever we all started talking about family.
“So are ya super close and give each other lotsa hugs like me and Sparky do?” Dinky hugged her sister as an example.
I smiled at the sisterly embrace. “We’re pretty close. We were always playing together when I was a filly. I don’t call him my big brother best friend forever for nothing.” Something tightened in my chest as I thought about my brother and how we hadn’t gotten to see each other as much anymore. Especially once I moved to Ponyville.
“Those two could be inseparable as kids.” Mom gave me an amused look out of the corner of her eye. “Though they could become a handful at times. I had to use some pretty inventive spellwork to keep those two out of the cookie jar.”
“We weren’t that bad.” I felt embarrassed as old memories of Mom catching us with hooves literally in the cookie jar came to the surface. A mixture of alarm spells to tell her when we were doing something we shouldn’t be, and illusion spells to sneak up on us resulted in my brother and me getting busted on more than one occasion.
“Only a little bit bad.” Mom absentmindedly fiddled with one of the pieces of silverware. “To be fair, you two were well behaved most of the time. Even if you had your moments of mischief.”
Dad frowned as he looked around the table. “So have you girls already ordered? I don’t see any menus.”
I nodded, thankful for the change in topics.. “We did, but I’ll see if I can wave over a waiter.” I waved to and got one of the waiter’s attention.
Mom placed a hoof upon Dad’s as the waiter approached. “So what held you up this time, dear?”
Dad took a menu from the waiter as he spoke. “I had trouble getting out of a meeting that went on long. I ended up disguising myself with an illusion just to sneak out. Quill Scratch’s covering for me right now. She’s probably fending off everypony from my office with a potted plant by now, but she has experience enough with that. Poor mare. I’ll have to make sure to buy her a gift before heading back.” He quickly looked through the menu and told the waiter what he wanted, likely not wanting to be distracted from the conversation or have to wait much longer than us for his meal.
Mom tittered. “Sometimes I have to wonder what you would do without your chief-of-staff.”
“Oh, I probably would’ve been crushed under a stack of papers falling on me by now. I swear, my paperwork seems to reproduce when I’m not looking.” He gave us a mischievous grin. “Hazards of being an important pony, I suppose.”
Mom nuzzled him. “Well, you’re here now.”
“So I am.” Dad pecked Mom on the cheek. “So how’s Ponyville treating you, Twily, Spike?”
“Good.” I took a sip from my water after the waiter placed our drinks on the table. “I’m settled in now, and I’m really enjoying hanging out with my friends there.”
“Yeah, it’s been pretty great.” Spike eyes narrowed at me. “When Twilight isn’t blowing up the basement, anyways.”
I laughed awkwardly as my parents focused on me. Spike just had to mention the library explosion ... explosions technically. “It wasn’t any big deal, really.”
Spike rolled his eyes. “Right, not a big deal when we have to replace everything in the basement.”
“Oh, yeah!” Dinky grinned as she leaned forward on the table. “There was the time she made the library all fwooshy!”
Mom crossed her forelegs as she gauged what she was hearing. “'Fwooshy'?”
Dinky made a sage nod. “First it was all quiet, an' then it was all 'boom!' It was rilly loud and everypony heard it. An' for once, the fire ponies didn't come to our house.” There was a pause before Dinky continued. “An' Miss Blossomforth was a'kay, so that's good too.”
The stares of my parents became all the more uncomfortable. When Mom spoke, it was in the firm tone she usually reserved for when I had done something bad. “Twilight, what have you been doing in Ponyville that’s been causing explosions?”
“Just a few experiments,” I said quickly. “The usual range of projects the princess gives me and things that catch my interest.” I didn’t want my parents to worry that I was doing something dangerous. It really wasn’t. Just sometimes accidents happened.
Dad leaned his head against his hoof in a thinking pose. “And sometimes those experiments end up exploding? These weren’t the type of experiments you were doing in school, were they? Like when you set the school lab on fire.”
I tapped my forehooves together nervously. “It sounds worse than it was.”
My parents exchanged a glance between one another, and I felt something pass between them. Mom’s eyes flicked towards Sparkler and Dinky’s end of the table, and she shook her head. I had the feeling the two of them wanted to talk about something when we didn’t have company. My lab accidents couldn’t be that big of a deal, could they?
Dad nodded to Mom before speaking. “We’ll talk about it later, then.”
Mom rubbed at her forehead. “It’s times like these that remind me of Magetrix, Twilight.”
“Oooh, who's that?” Dinky asked as the waiter brought the food to our table. Sparkler promptly tied a napkin around Dinky’s neck. Given her little sister hadn’t mastered telekinesis enough to properly use tableware, it wasn’t hard to guess why she was looking at Dinky’s plate of ravioli warily.
Mom’s mouth turned up into a warm smile. “She was Twilight and Shining’s tutor when they were kids. The two of us have been friends since school.”
That was true enough. I couldn’t hardly think of a time when Magetrix hadn’t been a part of my life as a filly. She and Mom had been close friends since before I was born and they were always spending time with one another. She was just about a member of the family given how often she was over at the manor. She was almost a second mom to me when Dad wasn’t around due to being posted somewhere in Equestria on one assignment or another.
Leaning back to let the waiter put our food on the table, Sparkler waited a second to speak. “I thought Princess Celestia was your teacher?”
I placed a napkin on my lap as my own plate was put in front of me. “Only once I joined the School for Gifted Unicorns. Before that, Mom and Dad had hired Magetrix to teach me everything.” I thought back to some of the lessons she had given me when I was a filly. My old tutor was always so passionate about everything, and was so fun to learn from. I was almost crushed when I found out I would stop learning from her. But it was a bit hard for her to continue mentoring me when I was going to the School for Gifted Unicorn and become the student of Princess Celestia herself.
"So she's kinda like you for me, huh?” Dinky ceased strapping her eating utensils to her hooves to think that one over. “'Cept it's more like a you for you when you were like me, an' that was way back then, so she taughtcha t'be like her, 'cept for me!"
I had to think a moment to make sure I had guessed what Dinky had said right before speaking. “Yeah, something like that.”
“She left quite the impression on you, dear.” Mom lifted up a pair of eating utensils as she looked over her pasta sprinkled with spices and sauce. “Including the odd laboratory disaster. I still remember that failed alchemy experiment you two had that ended up covering the manor’s lab with that awful yellow goop.”
“How bad was it?” Sparkler grinned, no doubt wanting to get all the juicy details of the incident. Great, I’d be lucky if Dash and then the whole town didn’t know about it by the end of next week. Stupid Ponyville gossip network.
Mom chuckled as she stuck a fork into her pasta. “Pretty bad. The stuff clung to everything. Including poor Twilight. We had to scrub her for hours to get it out of her fur, and it still stained her coat and mane terribly. For a while she looked like some sort of off-color Dalmatian.”
“Ugh, I remember.” Getting scrubbed until my skin was raw and feeling like my coat was getting rubbed right off had not been a pleasant experience. The smell of the gunk had made it all the worse. Shiny teaching me how to do shield spells had been a happy day for more than one reason.
Raising her sauce-covered muzzle up from her ravioli, Dinky asked, “So Miss Magitrix taught Miss Twilight how to make everything go all explody?”
“Something like that.” Mom’s vision became distant as she looked at Dinky—probably thinking about when Shiny and I were Dinky’s age if I had to hazard a guess.
“So what were you planning on doing while in Canterlot, Twily?” Dad popped some of his salad in his mouth as he waited for my answer.
“A few things.” I cut off a piece of my lasagna. “There was some shopping I wanted to do in town, for starters.” I did not mention that most of what I wanted to buy was to replace what had been lost in my latest laboratory disaster.
“My schedule is open for tomorrow after we’re done with our business in the morning.” Delicately wiping her mouth with a napkin, Mom continued. “It would be nice if we could spend some time together. Hm, considering your old tutor was brought up, how about we see if she would love to join us for an afternoon? It’s been a couple years since you two have seen one another, right?”
“Something like that.” It certainly had been a good while since I had last seen her, now that I thought about it. Something like a couple Hearth’s Warming Eves ago? Last I had seen her, Magetrix had been helping with research at the School for Gifted Unicorns, since the school had a huge research wing.
“So shall I go ahead and contact her to see if she’s up for it?” Mom asked. While it would be awkward to explain why I needed all the new lab equipment I was going to buy, I really did want to see my old tutor again.
I smiled and nodded. “Sure, go ahead. I’d like to see her again too.”
“Can we see Miss Magitix too?” Dinky asked as sauce dripped off her face.
Sparkler shook her head as she finished chewing. “Probably not, we’re gonna be seeing the family, remember?”
“Aaw!” Dinky looked crestfallen as her shoulders slumped. “But I wanna meet everypony.”
“Talk to Grandma and Grandpa ‘bout it later.” Sparkler picked up a napkin and rubbed at Dinky’s muzzle. “Also you’re a mess, Dinks. Try to get most of the food in your mouth, not on your face, ‘kay?”
Dad picked up his cup with his magic and tipped it my way. “Got any other plans besides shopping?”
“I was thinking about heading to the Royal Library to pick up a couple of books for my research.” As sad as I am to say it, even living in a local library only gave me so many books to look at. Not to mention the library was mostly stocked for the general public of Ponyville—most of the books I wanted were on topics nopony else would be interested in, or likely even understand. At least for the non-fiction sections. I often needed to come to Canterlot to either purchase or loan out books to provide for my needs.
“Go figure, Twilight wants to go to a library,” Spike said while chewing on some noodles. “How many bookstores are we gonna see while we’re at it? Six, seven?”
“Five ... that are on my shopping list.” Why did Spike have to make me feel guilty for wanting to go into bookstores? They’re some of the best places to visit in Canterlot. “Also, I hope to see the princess while in town.”
“Make sure to send her a letter, then.” Mom sipped at her drink. “It’s much easier for her to work you into her schedule if she knows you want to see her.”
“I know, Mom,” I said patiently. I knew my mom was just trying to be helpful, but it still felt slightly irritating to be told something I already knew. I guess that’s just a parent-child thing. You want to become more independent, and they still want to help you.
“Sounds like you’re going to have quite a bit planned, then.” Dad picked up one of the bountiful breadsticks—though the little basket was significantly less bountiful than when it had started due to it being placed right in front of Spike. At the rate he was going, he was going to fill up on bread. “In addition to spending some more time with your family, I hope.”
“Of course.” I mulled over my meal for a few moments before I worked up the nerve for what I wanted to say next. “I was also thinking of going to a concert tomorrow.”
Mom’s ears perked at that. “Oh, what were you planning on going to? I don’t believe the Royal Symphonic Orchestra is playing tomorrow, unless I’m mistaken.”
“I was considering trying something a bit new.” Not feeling particularly hungry right at that moment, I put my fork down. “Sparkler mentioned a musician who was playing in Canterlot tomorrow called DJ-Pon3. I thought I’d try it out given Sparkler seems to really like DJ-Pon3.”
So there it was, I mentioned my possible half-sister. That now in the open, I carefully monitored my parents for their reactions. Dad quirked an eyebrow at that while Mom’s ear turned as she gave me an inquisitive look. I knew I had their attention, but whatever they were thinking was beyond me. That was one of the things about my parents being heavily involved in politics, they had very good poker faces.
It’s times like these that I wished I were more socially savvy like Rarity. She had an eye for details I would never even begin to notice. At least I had Sparkler’s attention given the way she had stopped eating and was attentively watching the rest of us now that her favorite musician had been mentioned.
“Is that so?” Dad hummed curiously. “You don’t strike me as the type to like Vinyl Scratch’s genre of music.”
I found it curious that Dad used Vinyl’s given name rather than her stage name. Might as well get all the information I can... “Wait, you know who she is?”
“I would hope so.” Chuckling, Dad gave me a grin. “Given she has our patronage.”
That bit of news caused my eyebrows to raise. “Wait, we’re patrons of DJ-Pon3? Her music is a bit different from the classical stuff we’re normally patrons for, isn’t it?”
“Miss Twilight?” Dinky put a hoof on my shoulder to get my attention. “What’s a patron?”
I leaned down to speak to Dinky in a quiet tone. “A patron is a pony who supports a client like an artist or a craftpony.” Our family, like most of the noble families or affluent ponies in Canterlot, gave money and support to ponies in the city and elsewhere. I knew my parents gave money to ponies who were in the Royal Symphonic Orchestra, had helped fund several public works projects, and donated to several charities. In a bit of benevolent cynicism, this was often done in order to spread a family’s influence and show their prestige by being patrons to other important ponies in Equestria.
“Well, I did feel compelled to be Vinyl’s patron considering her mother works as my chief-of-staff.” Dad let out a hearty chuckle. “Her stuff isn’t exactly what would normally be considered high art. But she really is good at what she does.”
“She’s the best,” Sparkler said as though it were a self-evident truth. “I mean have you listened to Dubbin’ the Wubs? It’s beyond amazing.”
Dad gave Sparkler a wry grin. “A bit of a fan, are you?”
“Only her biggest fan!” Sparkler rocked in her seat like she wanted to leap out of it. “I’ve been waiting to go to one of her concerts for months now.” She hugged herself as she suppressed a squeal. “And I’m going to get to see her tomorrow. I can hardly wait.”
Mom held up a cup for our waiter to refill. “There’s a pretty big endorsement for you, Twilight. I can see why you might want to go to one of her concerts, considering how enthusiastic Sparkler is.”
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “Something like that.”
I’m not quite sure what I expected when I brought up Vinyl Scratch, but this wasn’t quite the direction I had hoped for. At least I had gathered a couple more pieces to the puzzle. This could be one big coincidence, but a lot of facts were lining up with what Cloud Kicker had told me. I knew that Quill Scratch had been my Dad’s assistant for decades, and as far as I knew she wasn’t married. Nor did she have any special somepony I was aware of. All of this together was enough to start forming a pretty solid theory to work off of.
“If you like, we could get you a couple of backstage passes.” Dad’s horn glowed and a notepad and a pen appeared in his magical aura and he started scribbling. He was always writing down notes to help keep himself from forgetting things. It was easy to forget something when you were as busy as my dad was. “There are benefits of being a patron of Vinyl’s. Hm, though you probably only need one ticket given it’s just you, right?”
I was about to tell Dad that I would only need the one ticket when Sparkler interrupted with a “No!” She grasped me by the shoulders and turned me to face her—bumping into the table in the process and knocking over a couple glasses. Her eyes were wide and wild as she looked into mine. “Get both tickets! Pleasepleaseplease, I wanna meet Vinyl, and this might be my only chance! You gotta get me that ticket!”
“Okay, okay!” I put my hooves up in surrender. “I’ll get both tickets!” Looking at Sparkler, I worried what would happen if I told her no. I knew from my own time as a teenager how easy it was to get really passionate about something like this, and I couldn’t think of a really good reason to outright deny getting her a backstage pass if I could. “As long as that isn’t a problem, Dad.”
“Not at all.” Dad wrote on his notepad. “I’ll make sure to get you those tickets tomorrow. Quill might even be able to get them before I come home tonight. Just be sure to have fun with them.”
“I’m gonna meet Vinyl! I’m gonna meet Vinyl!” Sparkler jumped to her hooves and hopped in place, letting out a squeal of joy.
Dinky covered her ears with her hooves. “Sparky, you’re bein’ rilly loud.”
Sparkler blinked and her face flushed as she noticed that everypony in the restaurant was now staring at her. With her carefully cultivated image of maturity now shattered, she sat down with her shoulders slumped and her head down—looking like she wanted to shrink until she disappeared from sight. “Sorry. But thanks for the ticket. Means a lot to me.”
Mom lifted a napkin to her lips to hide her smirk. “It’s quite alright. Just make sure to temper your excitement in the future.”
“‘Kay,” Sparkler said demurely. Her ears flattened on her head when she saw a couple ponies at a nearby table glancing her way and whispering disapprovingly to one another.
“So that’s settled.” Putting on an encouraging smile for Sparkler, Dad put his notebook away.
I prodded at my food with a fork. “So it seems.” While there were still a bunch of unknowns for tomorrow, one thing I was fairly certain of, tomorrow was going to be an interesting day.
After we had lunch, Dad had to return to work—after throwing on a quick disguise with his magic first anyways. The rest of us shopped around town for a couple of hours before my mom suggested we take a break at the estate. After the train ride, a meal, and walking around Canterlot, we were all ready to rest for a while.
The Sparkle Manor has been the traditional home for my family for generations. The manor had been constructed in the white stone typical of Canterlot. What had started out as a single tower nine centuries ago had gradually grown with additions, expansions, and renovations. What had resulted was a hodgepodge appearance as towers sprouted out from the building at seemingly random places, and it looked like five smaller buildings rammed together rather than a single planned building. I suppose that was probably inevitable given the manor had been owned by a series of powerful and somewhat eccentric magi over the generations. Style had never been my family’s forte. That and plowing the whole thing over and rebuilding from scratch would be a dauntingly expensive project.
My family is reasonably wealthy, but there were limits. While asymetrical architecutre of Sparkle Manor drove me crazy at times to look at, there were better things for my family to spend bits on, like the numerous charities we gave money to. Somehow rebuilding our home to look more uniform didn’t seem as high of a priority as giving disadvantaged ponies food, or helping fund magical medical research. Not to mention that our manor didn’t exactly stick out in the general “just add another tower to the other tower” style of architecture that was a mainstay in Canterlot.
We had stepped into the manor and were walking down one of the hallways when Dinky pointed into one of the rooms. “What’s all that?”
I glanced at the room to confirm which room she was pointing at. “That’s the state room. It’s where we keep a lot of the historical objects of our family.” The room was stuffed full with suits of armor, personal effects of famous ponies of my family, documents, and various other pieces of historical paraphernalia. Mom had even commissioned a museum curator a number of years ago to organize and label everything into something more presentable for guests, and now it wouldn’t look out of place in any museum in Canterlot.
It was even chronologically ordered to cover the major events in the history of my family, and go over the lives of its members. There were some really nice spots set aside for influential ponies like Grand Vizier Sunbeam Sparkle, Archmagus Midnight Sparkle, Aurora Sparkle, and others. Somewhat embarrassingly, there was even a display for me now. Mom thought it was appropriate after I had saved Equestria a few times, even if I didn’t really want it. Still, it was a pretty fascinating show room given the historical legacy within. I suppose it isn’t a huge surprise that I grew to love studying history when I had a small museum in my own home.
Dinky craned her neck at a few different angles from Sparkler’s back to get a better look at the room. “Oooh, can I see?”
Mom nodded. “I don’t see why not. Given you’re our guests, how about we show you around? At least if you’re up for it too, Sparkler.”
“Sure, got nothin’ better to do,” Sparkler said with a shrug.
“Count me out.” Spike yawned and rubbed at an eye. “I need a nap. Let me lay down on a couch or something.”
I chuckled and gave my assistant a nuzzle. “How about I find someplace to let Spike lie down for a bit while Mom takes you two around the show room.”
Everypony agreed to the plan, and I headed upstairs with Spike. In my bedroom, I found a basket already set up. It probably hadn’t been moved from the last time the two of us visited my parents. Whatever the case was, I wasn’t going to complain about a nice set of clean sheets and a soft pillow for Spike. By the time I levitated him into the bed, Spike was already nodding off. It had been a pretty long day for him. Either that, or Spike had been up late reading comics again. I really needed to crack down on that, but it had always been hard for me to say no to him reading anything. Even if the medium was dominated by drawings.
Spike now settled in his bed, I returned downstairs to get back to the others. It was in the hallway leading to the show room when I saw a pony I hadn’t expect to see there. Standing in his purple barding was my big brother, Shining Armor. Upon recognizing him, I ran to close the distance and flung myself at him to wrap him up in a hug.
“Shiny!” I gave him a quick nuzzle. “I didn’t think I would get to see you today.”
Shining gave me a big, goofy grin while giving me a good squeeze that made me worry about my ribcage for a second. “Now what type of big brother would I be if I didn’t set aside some time for my little sis? Besides, if I wasn’t here, I wouldn’t be able to do this.” Before I had time to figure out what he was doing and react, he put me in a headlock and then brushed his hoof along my scalp in a noogie.
“Hey!” I struggled, but Shining’s grip proved too strong. Go figure, a career in the Guard and his greater bulk gave him the advantage over me in a situation like this. “You better stop that before I retaliate by turning your mane green.”
Shining grinned and didn’t let go. “You wouldn’t.”
I tried to squirm, but Shining’s leg might as well have been made of steel. Still, I kept my tone good-natured as I plotted ways to give my brother a new look. “I would. And that’d be the first thing I’d do before escalating. You don’t think I’ve learned a few spells over the years?”
“Okay, point taken.” He gave me one last noogie before letting me go. “But really, it’s good to see you again. How’s it been in Ponyville?”
“Pretty good.” I worked to straighten my mane back to its proper position. “And you?”
Shining let out a long breath and some of the energy in him seemed evaporate as his shoulders slumped. “Busy. Being Captain of the Royal Guard has kept me hopping. Especially lately. It took some work just to be able to come over here to see you for a little bit.”
“You didn’t have to,” I told him. “I don’t want you to get in trouble at work.” My brother did have a really important position. One that took a lot of time to keep up with, from what Shining had written. As much as I liked seeing him, it almost felt criminal to take him away from things that were technically more important than seeing me.
He waved my worried off. “Don’t worry about it. I needed to tell you something anyways.”
“Oh, what is it?” It wasn’t hard to guess that whatever my brother wanted to talk about was the news Mom had mentioned earlier.
Rather than telling me right away, he closed his eyes and rubbed at his face. “Now what was it? I knew it just a second ago. It’s right on the tip of my tongue.” He shook his head out. “I must be more frazzled from work than I realized.”
“Mom said that there was something important you needed to tell me,” I said, trying to give his memory a shake.
“Right, I needed to tell you—” Whatever he was about to say was cut off when he winced with a pained groan and rubbed at his head.
I stepped up next to him, now concerned if there was something wrong. “Shiny, you alright?”
He grunted and nodded slightly. “Just a migraine. Been getting them lately. Probably due to stress from work and not getting enough sleep.”
I gave him a concerned frown. “You need to sit down or anything?”
“No, I’m good. Really.” Shining blinked his eyes a couple of times before speaking again. “The worst of it comes and goes, and I got some pills from the doctor to help. So don’t worry.”
I bit my lower lip. I didn’t like the idea that my big brother was suffering migraines. Especially if they were a result of the stresses of work, but I wasn’t sure what I could do for him given the situation. “If you’re sure...”
He smiled reassuringly. “I’m sure.” He prodded me towards the doorway of the show room. “Come on, let’s go see Mom and her guests.”
“Wait.” I stopped short of the doorway. “You were about to tell me something.”
Shining blinked dumbly at me for a moment. His thought process had probably be derailed by his migraine. “Oh, right. There is something I wanted to talk about.”
Our conversation was interrupted when Dinky tackled Shining with a hug. It was a bit humorous given the size difference between them. She tried wrapping her legs around Shining, but they didn’t get far around his large chest. “Hiya! I heard you have a headache. So I’m giving you a get-better hug. I’m Dinky Doo by the way. What’s your name?”
Shining smiled down at the hugging filly. “My name’s Shining Armor. I’m Twilight’s big brother.”
“Nice to meet ya!” Dinky nuzzled Shining’s chest. “Is my get-better hug helping?”
“A little.” Shining ruffled Dinky’s mane before squeezing back.
“I’m teaching Dinky magic back at Ponyville,” I said. “Kind of got myself roped into escorting Dinky and her sister, Sparkler, to Canterlot to see their grandparents.”
“I see. So you’re the new apprentice Twily wrote about, are you?” He made an amused grin.
“Twily?” Dinky giggled. “That’s rilly silly. Kinda like how I call my sister Sparky. But yeah! Miss Twilight’s teachin’ me lots’a neat stuff. And now I get to see how great her family is.” She reaffirmed her hug with a happy smile.
What was a fairly adorable hug quickly dissolved into an awkward one for me. In the extremely improbable case that Shining was Dinky’s father, this was likely the first time they had ever met. The first time a father and daughter had ever hugged...
“Twily, is everything alright?” He gave me concerned look while Dinky remained firmly attached to him. “You have that look on your face you had when you learned that electrons move differently if they’re being observed.”
I blinked as I snapped out of my trance. “It’s nothing. Nothing at all! Certainly nothing suspicious based on an improbable theory that keeps nagging at my thoughts despite all numbers working against it!”
Shining and Dinky both stared at me for an uncomfortable moment as I gave them the most innocent smile I could manage. At least I hadn’t blurted out everything I was thinking like I had in the past. It was probably a good thing my special talent was in magic instead of something like espionage.
My brother narrowed his eyes. “Twily, is there something you want to tell me?”
I felt my smile become all the more strained. “Nope, I don’t have any deep and terrible secrets!”
Shining gently broke the hug with Dinky—who most certainly wasn’t his daughter, outside of a extremely small percentage range. He put his hoof on my shoulder to give me a comforting squeeze. “You sure? Remember, this is your big brother you’re talking to. You can be honest with me.”
I felt a struggle going on in my chest as my eyes darted to Dinky and back to Shining. Should I tell him the truth? In all likelihood I was worrying about nothing, and I didn’t want to bother him with something this big on so little information. On the other hoof, didn’t he have a right to know? Even if it was highly unlikely he was a father? A lie by omission was still a lie, after all.
Before I could make up my mind, a pegasus wearing the light barding of a Royal Guard courier approached us. He stopped short of us and gave my brother a salute. “Captain Shining Armor?”
Shining spoke quietly to me and Dinky. “One second, you two.” I felt a surge of relief at getting pulled out of a tight spot as my brother turned to the courtier and returned the salute. “Sergeant, what do you have for me?”
“Message from intelligence, sir.” He pulled a scroll out of his satchel and gave it to Shining. “I was told that it needed your immediate attention.”
“Of course it does,” Shining said with weariness. He opened the scroll and quickly scanned its contents. Sighing, he rolled the scroll back up. “If you’ll tell them that I’ll be with them shortly, I’d appreciate it.”
“Of course, sir.” The courier gave my brother a parting salute before turning and departing.
My brother’s shoulders slumped as he turned back to us. “Sorry, but something important came up that I need to deal with.”
Dinky’s ears flattened on top of her head. “Aw, but I wanna hug ya some more.”
“I understand, Shining.” I nuzzled him on the cheek. “You’re an important pony and have a job to do.” Though I was a bit cranky about Shining not telling me whatever Mom had alluded to, I could understand why my brother needed to go. There was also the relief of not having to talk to my brother about my largely baseless fears about him potentially being a father.
Shining smiled at the nuzzle. “Thanks, sis. I’ll try and get some time off to see you before you leave Canterlot, promise. Then we’ll get to talk about the—things.”
“Yeah, things,” I agreed. I had a feeling there were a few things we were going to need to talk about in good time.
By the time Mom and I were done showing Dinky and Sparkler around the show room, she informed us that somepony had picked up the letter Sparkler had left for her grandparents back at their manor. Given Dinky was excited about the prospect of seeing them, we decided it was best to get the two of them on their way.
We returned to the Doo Manor as the sun started to set. Dinky hardly listened to our warnings to stay close as she bounded for the door and knocked on it furiously with youthful enthusiasm. The rest of us hurried to catch up with her as the door opened.
On the other side of the door was a pegasus stallion with a dark gray coat and messy turquoise mane. The worn lines on his features as he smiled down at Dinky spoke of a pony in his late middle age. “Dinky!” He wrapped his legs around Dinky in a big hug. “It’s good to see you.”
“I love ya, Grandpa!” Dinky hugged her grandpa back as hard as she could. “I rilly missed ya.”
He nuzzled Dinky. “Missed you too.” Looking up from his granddaughter, he gave the rest of us a warm smile. “Sparkler, come over here and give me a hug.” He offered an open wing, which Sparkler promptly slid under and nuzzled him.
“Hey, Grandpa.” Sparkler’s tone had some of the stiffness typical of teenagers who didn’t want to seem like they were being too affectionate. “You doin’ alright?”
“I am.” He gave Sparkler a squeeze. “You two enjoy your day around the town?”
“Yeah-huh!” Dinky nodded enthusiastically. “Miss Twilight and Mrs. Duchess Velvet took us to get somethin’ yummy to eat, then we went shoppin’, and then they took us to their rilly big house and showed us lots’a rilly cool things.”
“Sounds like you two had a pretty good time, then.” He gave me and my mom a friendly smile. “Thanks for watching over these two for the day, by the way. Didn’t mean to ignore you. Just happy to see my grandchildren.”
Mom shook her head. “Don’t worry about it, Klutzy. They’ve both been wonderful.”
I suppressed a shudder as I felt a chilly night time Canterlot breeze blow past me. “You know him, Mom?”
“Your father and I have bought a few curiosity pieces from him in the past,” Mom confirmed. “We’ve also been in the same social circles. So we’ve gotten to know one another.”
“I see.” I gave Klutzy Doo another look. Sometimes it was easy to forget how many ponies my parents knew in Canterlot, and how influential they were.
Mom pulled her cloak tighter around her to ward herself against the growing cold. “I hate to cut this short, but we should probably get going. We have some things we need to do tomorrow morning, so we can’t be up too late. And I’m sure you’re eager to spend some time with Sparkler and Dinky.”
“Of course.” Klutzy lifted Dinky onto his back and she nuzzled his mane. “You two have a good night, and thanks for watching my grandkids for me.”
We all finished our goodbyes, and my mom and I turned to leave. As the Doo’s door closed, I heard Sparkler saying, “So you will not believe what I’m gonna do tomorrow. I’m gonna finally meet—” We didn’t get more than a few steps before we heard a high pitched, giddy squeal from the Doo Manor.
Even by the standards of most cemeteries, the Canterlot Catacombs were extremely morbid and creepy. Since there was a lack of space along the side of the mountain, it had been decided long ago that the dead of the city should be buried within the mountain, and thus the catacombs had been carved out of Mount Avalon. Made up of passages carved just for that purpose, old mining tunnels, and natural cave networks, the catacombs stretched on for miles.
A Royal Guard post was positioned to stand watch over the one gate that served as the main entrance to the catacombs. The gate was always closed when the sun went down, and the ponies within ushered out, both to leave the dead in peace and to protect the living. As I walked through that gate, I could not help but feel I was entering a place not meant for the living. There was a sense of aged death permeating the place. The stone on the floor and walls had long been smoothed out by the passage of ponies over the centuries, and despite the wide passages and periodically placed light gems, it still felt cramped, constraining, and dark.
Thus I walked along the passages in silence, Spike riding on my back while carrying some flowers. I glanced from side to side, noting the urns that lined the carved shelves in the rock. In order to prevent would-be-necromancers from raising an army of skeletons, it was mandatory that all of the dead placed within the catacombs be cremated. Most of the urns had long had their luster worn away by the passage of time.
As one walked further into the network of tunnels, the variety in the monuments to the dead increased. While less wealthy and influential families from the city often settled for having an urn placed on a shelf, the great houses of Canterlot had whole branches of passages carved out just for them. I stepped before one such passageway and used the key on the ancient door.
Within was a large cavern that was filled with the mausoleums of the dukes, duchesses, archmagi, grand viziers, and family members of my house from nine centuries’ worth of Sparkles. The elaborate tomb showcased the changing trends and personal tastes of centuries of ponies. Old history permeated the place, and I couldn’t help but be a little bit awed by the immensity of it.
A hole had been carved through the side of the mountain, allowing natural sunlight to help light the place, in addition to the light gems spaced throughout. I walked past the first two mausoleums, dedicated to the progenitors of House Sparkle. Grand Vizier Sunbeam Sparkle’s statue loomed over me as I made my way past it, impressive and bombastic as it struck the pose of a supremely confident archmagus. Opposite was the statue of Archmagus Midnight Sparkle. Rather than the more aggressive stance of her mother, Midnight’s effigy took a more calm and collected pose, that of a leader showing steady competence in face of the storm. Shame the image was somewhat ruined by the unkindness of ravens infesting her—and only her—mausoleum. Most likely they had flown through the hole carved to the outside and had decided to take up residence in the tomb.
The ravens squawked at us menacingly as we walked by them, their heads slowly turning as they watched us walk past.
“That’s still kinda creepy,” Spike said, echoing my own thoughts.
“Let’s just get past them quickly.” I picked up my pace to a trot to work deeper into the tomb and away from the ravens that tracked us with their eyes as though with a single intelligence. Towards the back was where the most recent mausoleum had been built and my destination. My parents had visited earlier due to Dad having to go into work early and them letting me sleep in a bit. Part of me felt guilty for that, but my parents had assured me it was fine. In the end, I had decided in favor of more sleep since Spike seemed like he still wanted more rest.
I pulled out a brush from my saddlebags and started the process of wiping off the worst of the dust and cobwebs from one of the mausoleums.
Spike coughed on some of the dust. “Why’re we doing this again?”
“Because it’s respectful, Spike.” Using both the brush and a few cleaning spells, I managed to make the old mausoleum of Duke Dusk Sparkle presentable again. I remembered from my readings how he had helped streamline the governmental structure six centuries ago. “These are my ancestors. We can at least keep them from looking too bad with a little cleaning every few years.”
It was a bit of a family tradition to visit the Sparkle tomb once a year, both to visit the dead we knew and to pay respect to those who had come before us. Also, everypony had to pick a mausoleum and clean it. There were holidays where ponies would come down to the catacombs, and every once in a while a scholar would wish to study the family tomb for one project or another.
“It’s just going to get dirty again.” Spike waved at the dust hanging around him. “And not in the ‘your bedroom needs to be cleaned’ way, either. I mean, it’s a graveyard. Who cares if it’s old, decrepit, and dusty? That kinda comes with the territory.”
“First, this is technically a tomb, not a graveyard. Second, it doesn’t have to look awful.” I put the brush aside, happy with a job well done. “There, good as new... As new as the resting place of a pony that’s been dead for six centuries can be.”
Spike rolled his eyes and sighed. “Can we get moving?” He waved around the flowers he had been carrying. “I don’t want to be holding onto these all day, you know.”
“Fine, fine.” I tried to keep the irritation over Spike’s impatience out of my tone. “We won’t spend any more time in the somewhat spooky catacombs than necessary.”
“Thanks, this place always creeps me out.” Spike let out a cough and puffed out his chest. “Not that I’m scared or anything. I just don’t want you getting scared, Twilight.”
I snerked at Spike’s bravado. “Never said you were. Come on.” I went deeper into the tomb until the mausoleums reached an abrupt end as they met the mountain. More mausoleums would be carved out of the mountain as more Sparkles came and passed, but for now this was where the tomb ended.
As morbid as it’s going to sound, I entered my mom’s mausoleum. Thankfully, Mom did not occupy it and hopefully would not do so for many decades. Same with Dad, considering he wanted to be laid to rest alongside her when the time came. The whole issue of mausoleums had been a long and awkward one as a child. It was considered practical to carve out at least the basic features of a mausoleum well ahead of when the pony would usually need them. It allowed the costs of digging them out of the mountain to be spread out over the years, though many of the final touches were added after the deceased had been laid to rest. Shiny’s and my own mausoleums were almost completely bare at this point.
By this point, Mom’s mausoleum had a number of flourishes added. In addition to artwork to her tastes, her more notable achievements had been carved into the walls along with descriptions of those events. None of that really held my interest at this moment as I stepped over to an urn sitting on a shelf along one of the walls.
I craned my neck to look at Spike. “Hey, Spike, can I see the flowers now?”
He held out the flowers for me, their fragrance reaching my nose. “Sure,” he said somberly.
“Thanks.” I cast a preservation spell upon the flowers to make sure they would last for at least a while, and then gently laid them down before the urn. Spike hugged me around the neck, comforting me. My eyes turned to the writing under the urn.
Amethyst Sparkle
Beloved Daughter and Sister
I gave the remains of my sister a sad smile. “Hey, Ammy.”
After the depressing visit to the catacombs, I was ready to do something to lighten my mood. Thankfully, there was the shopping trip that I had planned to have with my mother and my old tutor. I wasn’t the type to normally go about town on shopping trips for the sake of it, but I could do so for my mom and a friend, and I did have a few things I would like to pick up in Canterlot while I was here.
Mom and I had offered Spike the opportunity to come with us, but he had little interest in doing so. He was probably like most guys and didn’t want to come with the ladies for a nice shopping trip, for whatever reason. I had dropped him off at the manor and went out to town with my mom. For our first stop, the two of us headed to the School for Gifted Unicorns. Thankfully, it wasn’t very difficult to get onto the campus. There were benefits to being Princess Celestia’s personal student and Mom being a royal magus. It helped that we knew a lot of the staff too.
After going through the entrance, the buildings of the campus spread before us. Quickly orientating myself with the familiar environment, we made our way to the research wing. Once inside, Mom lead the way to a door with a large sign reading “BEWARE! Magical Science in Progress!”
Mom grinned and poked me with a playful nudge. “I remember when you made a sign like that for your room.”
I couldn’t help but grin myself at the memory. If I remembered right, it was also accompanied by a “No Colts Allowed!” sign, for I was convinced as a little filly that colts carried the mysterious pathogen known as cooties. “Well, I was doing some super important experiments. For a little filly, anyways,” I amended. While making tornados in a bottle, tracking the germination of seeds, and building rockets weren’t exactly groundbreaking, I had the time of my life.
Mom chuckled, no doubt also remembering my many experiments. Some of which became more ... interesting as I got older. “I still have no idea what you were doing to your poor doll, but by Celestia did you ever take notes on it.”
“Taking notes is important to science.” Smarty Pants had been my chief lab assistant and experiment subject growing up. Given how little of her was still the original doll, the experiments had taken their toll. Even repair spells had their limits.
Mom rubbed her chin. “I should see if I still have them tucked away with your other fillyhood projects one of these days...” She shrugged and knocked on the door.
“Who iiis it?” asked a mare in a sing-song tone.
“Maggie, it’s us!” Mom called through the door. “Is it okay for us to come in?”
“One second!” There was a muffled explosion from behind the door. It probably said something that neither me nor my mom flinched at the sound. Nor did anypony walking through the hallway, for that matter. It’s strange what you could grow used to with enough exposure.
The door swung open, revealing a wild-maned mare who was grinning enthusiastically. Magetrix’s stained and slightly singed labcoat covered her pink coat, and I could only guess the last time a comb had touched her light purple mane. “Velvie!” she cried while wrapping Mom in a big hug. The two embraced each other for a long moment before Magetrix’s eyes fell on me. “And Twilight’s with you!” She wrapped me in an equally enthusiastic hug that I returned. “Great to see you both! How've you been?”
I smiled at my old tutor, remembering fond memories from my fillyhood before I became Princess Celestia’s student. “I'm good. I’ve been wanting to see you again.”
“Fantastic, thank you.” Mom paused to look over Magetrix’s mane, probably to make sure it wasn’t on fire again. Always a bit of a risk with her. “It's been too long.”
“Yes. Too long. Need to visit more often.” Magetrix hugged us both again, lingering a bit with Mom. “Was working with a matter collider. Exciting stuff.” She waved for us to enter her lab as she led the way.
Magetrix’s lab was the type of lab I would like to have someday, but budget limits, lack of space in the library and the odd small cataclysm had thus far denied me of such a thing. Sadly, even science was held back by the material realities of the world.
As we walked inside, we were surrounded by a variety of scientific equipment from mundane charts, measuring devices and beakers, to more advanced equipment such as scanning devices and arcane machinery. Some of it I had only read about in science journals, and I felt my curiosity rise. Magetrix had a brilliant mind and had been a joy to learn from. She had always been so passionate about everything, and her lessons had always been something I looked forward to. She had come to work in a fairly elaborate laboratory of her own. It wouldn’t have surprised me to learn that Mom might have pulled a few strings to make sure her friend got her current position. Magetrix certainly deserved it, but a little bit of influence in the right places to get the right ponies in place never hurt.
It had been too long since I had been in a proper lab. The setup I had in the library’s basement let me perform a variety of experiments, but it was a bit of a cobbled-together affair that often disallowed a certain level of specialization due to the restrictions placed on me. None of my own problems seemed to affect Magetrix, at least to the same degree, since she had a literal wealth of equipment available and the space to store it. The sheer scale of it was a bit awe-inspiring, with the lab taking up the space of a warehouse.
“What project are you working at this time?” Mom asked, glancing about the lab.
Magetrix’s grin widened as we approached a machine that dominated half of the lab, and her speech came in the short, clipped manner I was accustomed to when speaking with her. “Matter collider. Smash matter together. See what happens. So far, just lots of explosions. Fascinating.”
“Err, that sounds kind of dangerous,” I said, approaching the complex device to get a better look it to see how it might work. “And yet very fascinating...”
My old tutor nodded enthusiastically. “The Super Strong Singularity Sustaining Space Smasher Solution good at job. Data still being analysed. Machine still under repair from explosions. Parts expensive.” Taking a second look at it, I could tell there were a few burned-out conduits and scorch marks here and there. Good thing there were automated sprinkler systems in the building.
Chuckling, Mom shook her head in resignation. “Maggie? Never change.”
“Always changing. Body in constant state of flux.” Magetrix waved dismissively. “Cells grow, die, are replaced. Stasis impossible.” She finished with her scientific explanation and blinked in realization. “Oh ... right.” She grinned and nuzzled Mom. “I won't change.”
Mom nuzzled back. “Wouldn’t ever want you to.” She sidled up to Magetrix and led her towards what I guessed was her friend’s office. “Come on, let’s find someplace to have a nice chat.”
“Yes, yes, come in, come in.” Magetrix gently pulled Mom closer to the middle of the aisle we were walking down. “Careful. Several experiments in delicate state. Explosive. Or implosive? Can’t remember. Doesn't matter. Still dangerous.”
Knowing what a few of her experiments must be and only being able to guess at the others, I kept well away from accidentally touching anything. That is, until I spotted a green glowing object within a mug-sized glass attached to an apparatus. The spark drew in my attention, and I stopped at the table to look at some of the notes attached to a clipboard. “You finally managed to stabilize a Van Mareson Particle? I remember you writing about it being theoretically possible in your article in Super Science Monthly, but I didn’t know you had a working model yet.”
Magetrix stopped to see what I was looking at. “Mostly stable. Don't touch.” She stepped over to me and slowly prodded me away from the apparatus. “Or breathe too hard... Or look at it the wrong way.”
“Right, I’ll keep that in mind.” I guessed the apparatus still had some kinks to work out, and, upon further contemplation, I decided it best to probably keep moving given what a destabilizing Van Mareson Particle could do.
Mom quirked an eyebrow in Magetrix’s direction. “‘In the wrong way’? You're not dabbling in the quantum xeno effect again, are you?”
Grumbling under her breath, Magetrix said, “Particle temperamental. Has an attitude.” She narrowed her eyes at the particle. “Nasty sense of humor.” The particle let off a puff of smoke. It seemed she had been literal about not looking at it the wrong way.
“This is why I had you tutor Twilight at my home,” Mom said, a hint of exasperation in her tone. “You had fewer options to get into trouble there. Though I did have to put my hoof down a few times, as I recall.”
“No-Day Experiment would have been perfectly safe,” Magetrix said confidently. “Less than two percent chance of ionization.”
Mom’s only response was to patiently roll her eyes.
I scratched at the side of my head as I tried to recall what information I could on this topic. “Was that the experiment where you dragged home that box filled with uranium?”
“Yes.” Mom gave Magetrix a pointed look. “That one.”
“Would've been fun. Perfectly safe. Velvie overcautious.” Magetrix grinned and gave Mom a playful nudge.
“I'm sure it would have been fine.” I let out a sigh, remember the disappointment of being told I wasn’t going to be able to help with what had sounded like a very fascinating experiment. Helping my old tutor with her experiments had been one of the highlights of my childhood. “I was looking forward to that experiment, too...”
Mom gave me a flat look. “I should hope you don't have to be a mother to know why uranium plus daughter equals no, Twilight.”
“Velvie wants to keep her daughter safe.” Magetrix gave mom a smile. “Can't blame her. Even if a bit silly sometimes.”
“Okay, so I can see your point why you shot that idea down, given the circumstances,” I admitted. “Little fillies should probably not be dealing with radioactive materials.”
“Among other things.” Mom grinned as she hip-bumped Magetrix. “Many, many, many others. I swear, your lessons are half the reason I'm greying early.”
“You look fine, Mom,” I said on reflex.
“More than fine.” Magetrix gave Mom the once over. “Attractiveness still within top tenth percentile.”
Mom chuckled coyly, covering her mouth with a hoof. “Oh, you.”
I couldn’t help but note how I had escaped Cloud Kicker only to run into this back in Canterlot. “So how have you been, Magetrix?”
Magetrix started leading us to her office again. “Doing well. Experiments performing acceptably. Learning. You?”
“I’m doing well,” I said, entering the office. “I've been doing my own studying and experimenting in Ponyville.” Magetrix’s office was on the messy side of things, as far as offices went, with papers, bits and pieces of lab equipment, and office supplies scattered about. Once again, I had to suppress the urge to organize what I’m sure Magetrix would have described as ‘organized chaos.’ Frankly, I always hated that phrase.
“Oh? Interesting results?” Magetrix asked while plopping down on an old sofa.
I sat down on a cushion across from her. “Well, I have been working on some new alchemical formulas thanks to a friend in Ponyville named Zecora.”
Mom joined Magetrix on the couch, asking, “That zebra friend of yours in the forest?”
“Yep.” I shifted around in my seat to get comfortable. “She moved to the Everfree Forest to harvest unique plants there for her potions. I’ve been learning more about alchemy from her, and now I’m trying to create some synthetic copies of them. It’s been a bit rough at times, but I’m starting to make progress here and there.”
Magetrix rubbed at her chin. “Zebra alchemy? Fascinating. Been following Archmagus Runeseeker's work with gryphon and caribou runes. Cross-species magical integration unexplored territory.”
I nodded. “That’s why I wanted to see what I could do in the field. A lot of ponies have always said that we've just been getting the same results through different methods, but I'm trying to see if I can hybridize the best from both pony and zebra magic to create something better.”
“Worthwhile venture, no doubt.” Magetrix leaned her shoulder against Mom’s and smiled. “Good to see you two. Seems like forever.”
Mom leaned back against her. “And we've missed you and your zaniness, you know.”
“No kidding. It did feel like forever since I last saw you.” I suppose that wasn’t a surprise, given that it felt like a lifetime since I moved to Ponyville. “Well, no time like the present to fix that, right?”
“I couldn't have said it better myself.” Mom smiled and leaned more heavily on her friend. “And that’s why we’re going to have a nice fillies’ day out on the town. Do some shopping, have a nice meal. All the good stuff.”
“Would love to shop with you. Or other things. Anything. Been too long.” Magetrix wrapped a leg around Mom’s hip to hold her close. “Stay. Science, shopping ... less important, for the moment. Bonding, friendship what matters now.” She nuzzled Mom.
I leaned back on my cushion, letting my former teacher and Mom have their moment. “Sounds good. There are a few things I was hoping to pick up in town later, but it can wait.”
“Oh, of course. If you have things to pick up while you're in Canterlot, of course we can do that.” Mom said, in no rush to move from her spot at Magetrix’s side. “Like the good old days.” There was a moment of silence before Mom continued. “And I believe I just made myself sound old by saying that.”
“You're not that old,” I replied instantly. Not just because it was never polite to point out a mare’s actual age, but because if Mom was starting to get old, then that would mean I was starting to round my way to some numbers I didn’t want to think about.
“Are old.” Magetrix grinned as she poked Mom teasingly in the ribs. “Not bad old. Still look good.”
“Oh, 'old' am I?” Mom said with mock indignation. “I don't have that much time on you, if memory serves.”
Magetrix thought that one over for a second before replying in an embarrassed tone. “Not old? Young. Very young.” She nodded confidently to herself. “Could mistake you for Twilight's older sister.”
“Nice try.” Mom chuckled, giving Magetrix another nuzzle. “But my children are getting old enough to have families of their own soon, and before you know it I'll have grandfoals to deal with.”
“Not so bad,” Magetrix said. “Will be good grandmother.”
I felt an eye twitch. “Right, grandfoals, someday. Far in the future. Certainly no plans of that right now.” I looked around the room to try and find something interesting in the room to avoid eye contact, and found an old note journal on top of a pile of books and papers stacked up by the cushion.
“Well of course, Twilight, but I'd still like to be a grandmother,” Mom said with calm assurance. “I would like to see my children have their own children, and then have a bouncing, giggling little grandfoal, watching them grow just like I watched my children grow...”
I could understand my mom’s reasoning, at least on a hypothetical level. Not that I was against foals someday, but that was someday. Not soon. “Still have a few more steps to go in life before I get to that type of thing. I mean, Shiny is older than me, and he doesn’t have a fillyfriend or a foal that none of us know about yet.” My mouth curved into a smile that felt strained at the edges.
There was a pregnant silence before Mom broke it. “Of course not. But everything will happen in good time.”
“Right ... good time,” I agreed.
Magetrix hummed to herself as she levitated over a notebook and a pen. “Could draw up chart of traits Twilight would find desirable in a mate, cross-referenced with available ponies.”
I choked on air. “What!?”
Mom’s mouth curved into a cheshire grin. “That could be fun; it would give me an idea of what to expect when she finally brings somepony home.”
Scribbling furiously, Magetrix also grinned. “Start with physical traits, or personality? No, too far ahead. Should establish basics first. Mares? Stallions? Other?”
“Of course, we need to know what her preferences are.” Mom waved a hoof dismissively. “After gender, we can move onto things like personality.”
I let out a groan. “We are not seriously talking about this, are we?”
“Are,” Magetrix said with a nod. “Thought it was obvious. Personality, then?”
“I don't know!” I grumbled. “I've never thought about it before.”
Mom shot Magetrix a conspiratorial grin that spoke only of evil. “I think it’s fair to guess that Twilight has recently become more open.”
I put aside the notebook I had been looking at since it wasn’t going to do anything to get me out of this conversation. “And what do you mean by that?”
“Your friends, dear,” Mom said. “You've met so many ponies and made so many potential connections...”
I blinked at where my mom was leading the conversation. “But they're my friends. I don't think of them like that.”
“Oh, don't be so quick to dismiss it,” Mom suggested to me. “Friendship is a wonderful basis on which one can build romance. Your father and I were friends before we started dating.”
“And even if not, useful for reference on desired traits.” Magetrix tapped the side of her notebook with the pen. “Which of friends do you find most attractive? Would be useful for reference.”
“I don’t know.” I crossed my forelegs over my chest. “I’ve never thought of anypony like that. My friends are special to me, but romance isn’t why I spend time with them. That’s for fun and because I like to hang out with them. And I already have enough on my plate without becoming wrapped up in stuff like this.”
Mom turned her head to give Magetrix a concerned look. “Now you see why I'm so worried.”
“Worried?” I narrowed my eyes at the pair. “Worried about what?”
Mom’s tone became more somber as she gave me a serious look. “Twilight, have you seriously never thought about your love life?”
“Not really, no.” I shifted uncomfortably in the cushion seat. “It’s just not that important.”
“Just like how making friends wasn’t important?” Mom asked levelly.
That made me wince a bit. “Love and romance are way different and you two know that.”
“Different, but related.” Magetrix stood up and walked over to a small icebox set up near her desk. “Drinks while we talk? Juice? Water?”
“Some apple juice might be nice,” I said, and Magetrix levitated over a bottle to me. “And yeah, love and friendship are tangentially related, but are still very different things.”
“Some grape juice if you don’t mind, Maggie.” Mom took the offered bottle without turning away from me. “Let me ask you something just so we are clear with one another. Do you have any interest whatsoever in dating?”
I thought carefully before answering. Did all children have to have this type of conversation with their parents at some point? “It’s ... something I considered trying sometime down the road, when I’m less busy. Dating or any of that stuff just isn’t a priority right now.”
Mom unscrewed the top of the bottle. “And when will that be?”
I opened my own bottle and took a long sip to delay for a few valuable seconds before answering. “I’m not sure. Maybe in a couple years? It depends on how my studies go.”
“Which could be years and years from now, depending on what Princess Celestia has planned for you.” Mom took a sip from her bottle. “There’s more to life than studying.”
“I’ve learned that much,” I insisted. “I have friends now, and I’ve helped with a local school talent show, Ponyville’s Winter Wrap-Up, and a dozen other things. I don’t just study anymore.”
Mom put a hoof up to forestall me. “I understand that, and that’s all good. But you also need to understand that if you put something off ‘until later,’ sooner or later you’re going to realize you’ve waited too long.”
Magetrix nodded as she sat down next to Mom again. “Want you to be happy. Friends good. But so would loving spouse. Foals someday. If you want those things.”
“Those are good things to ask about.” Putting a hoof on Magetrix’s shoulder, she gave the both of us a supportive smile. “Do you want a family someday? Whatever you want is fine with us, Twilight. We would just like an idea of what’s on your mind.”
I let out a long sigh and looked down at my drink. “I don’t know. Like I said, I haven’t really put much thought into it until recently. It never felt very important. Objectively, ‘love’ is just a chemical reaction within the brain intended to create pleasure and a desire to ... procreate with a suitable mate.”
“That's part of it, certainly.” Mom leaned up against her friend for support. “But love is far, far, far more than just that, and you should know that.”
Magetrix gave Mom a smile. “More than chemical. Some factors insubstantial. Unquantifiable. Magical.”
I let out a long sigh. “So ponies keep telling me.” I remembered more than one conversation with Cadance about the topic. Big surprise considering her special talent, but she could be very enthusiastic about the topic of love and romance and its many features. It had all sounded really nice when I had been a little filly.
“Experimental data needed. Pure theory insufficient.” Magetrix sipped from her drink, looking content with Mom.
“Some ponies have a lot more experience with love. Just trust them on this, Twilight.” Mom put her bottle down on the floor so that she could focus on me. “You'll understand in time. Maybe you could ask your friends about this? I’m sure some of them would be more than willing to help.”
“Maybe I will.” I rubbed at the back of my neck. “I mean, it all seems a bit pointless since I’ll get an arranged marriage someday, right?”
Mom leaned against the back of the couch, and I got the sense she was carefully considering her next words. “That is how things have been done on occasion, but ... well, I prefer a more organic romance, if it's possible.”
I stopped from taking another drink of my bottle when I heard that. “What do you mean, Mom?”
“Arranged marriages are just that—arranged.” Mom picked up her drink to take another swig. “That doesn't mean the ponies involved can't fall in love with one another by any stretch, though. If we were to arrange anything, it would be with somepony you would be fond of.”
Magetrix nodded. “Always best when politics, personal desire coincide. Velvie loves you. Would want partner who makes you happy.”
“I know, I know.” I rubbed at my face, not sure how we had gotten into this conversation in the first place. “You and Dad have said you wouldn't hook me up with some pony I couldn't stand.”
“Never in a million years,” Mom said instantly.
“Velvie wants you happy, Twilight.” Magetrix stepped over to nuzzle me. “We all do.”
I nuzzled her back, feeling comfort from the touch while in the middle of an uncomfortable talk. “I never said she didn't. Just that it seems all kind of—predestined, you know?”
“I understand that, a little bit.” Mom swirled her bottle around in her telekinetic grip. “You've studied under Princess Celestia for most of your life, so that sense of ... oh, what's a good word for it? ... Convergence? Yes, a sense of convergence might make things seem like they were destined to fall into place.”
“Yeah, right.” I massaged the sides of my temple. “In some ways, my life feels like it's racing along, almost out of my control. It’s always felt like certain things have been expected of me, because of who I was born to, who my teachers were, my relationship with the princess, and with all my abilities... That’s a lot of weight on my shoulders, and I just keep trudging on forward, hoping for the best. That Princess Celestia has a plan and that it will all turn out for the best in the end.”
“Twilight...” Magetrix placed a hoof on my shoulder.
I shook my head, feeling my ears droop. “I’m probably making it sound worse than it really is. I mean I’m happy, I really am. Never been happier, I think.”
Mom’s ears flattened to her head and she opened her forelegs for me. “Come here?”
I made a shaky nod and stepped into her outstretched forelegs for a hug. I rested my head against her shoulder as Magetrix stepped up from behind to hug me too. I welcomed the embrace and stayed quiet as I felt comforted by the hold.
“I'm always, always here for you, all right?” Mom kissed the side of my head. “Just the same as I am for your brother.” She stroked my mane for a bit before continuing. “If things ever feel like they're getting too crazy for you to handle, just remember I'm here for you, all right?”
“Will help too. Any way I can,” Magetrix added.
“Thanks, that means a lot to me.” It felt like some of the stress that had been building up for the last couple of weeks was starting to roll off of me as I held onto the hug. “Sorry if I'm creating a bunch of drama. I didn't mean to.”
“Fine.” Magetrix nuzzled me. “As long as we help.”
I nuzzled them both. “You could say I've had a lot on my mind lately.”
“Can relate.” Magetrix gave me a final squeeze before breaking the hug. “Life busy, stressful.”
“Anything in particular you want to talk about?” Mom let me go but held onto my hoof, encouraging me to sit down on the couch between her and Magetrix. “We can go shopping later.”
“Right.” I took a long breath to steady myself. “I do have this assignment that's been driving me a bit nuts.”
Magetrix’s ears perked. “Oh? Science? Would like to help.”
I made myself comfortable on the couch, knowing that this might be a long talk. “To keep it simple, I was given this assignment to study this mare, Cloud Kicker, as part of a sociology study. She's ... infuriating.”
“'Infuriating'?” Mom’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”
“She's ... different than anypony I normally deal with.” I struggled for a couple of seconds while I thought of the best way to put it. “Cloud Kicker is very promiscuous, I guess the word would be. Sex is a big part of her life and well ... it’s not for me.”
“Aaah.” Nodding, Mom leaned in to murmur to Magetrix. “Shut-in studying a looser pony, I could see that causing a bit of a conflict of personality.”
“Sharp contrast, leading to complications,” Magetrix agreed crisply.
“That's putting it mildly,” I grumbled.
Magetrix pull out her notebook again and readied a pen to write on it. “Advances made?”
“A few, yeah.” I watched as she scribbled furiously, and Mom made a contemplative frown.
“Unwelcome?” Magetrix asked.
“It's not exactly welcome, so probably.” I leaned against Mom for support. “I ... it's not something I've dealt with before, and it just complicates stuff.”
Magetrix continued writing notes to herself. “Considered accepting?”
That question caused my cheeks to burn a bit. The thought of me and Cloud Kicker... “N-no!”
“Unattractive?”
I took a moment to regain my composure. While the questions were somewhat embarrassing, I knew both Mom and Magetrix were just trying to help. “She's aesthetically pleasing. In that large, muscular mare type of way.”
Magetrix tapped her pen against her chin. “Personality problems, beyond being more forward than accustomed to?”
I shifted on the couch, trying to not disturb the two mares sharing the same confined space. “Her advances are a bit infuriating, and her teasing is a bit more than I am used to.”
“Oh, one of those.” A slight grin crept onto Mom’s mouth. “Those ponies can be the most tricky to get a handle on, from personal experience.”
“Quite so,” Magetrix said. “Why are advances inducing anger? No objectionable traits named beyond the making of advances.”
“I don't know.” I rubbed at my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “It's confusing. How she acts seems immature somehow.”
“Maybe you're used to a more structured approach to courtship and intimacy?” Mom said in a measured tone. “Canterlot society—especially for ponies of our standing—is a bit less straightforward than ponies of a lesser societal placement.”
Magetrix nodded in agreement. “More rules. Outside of Canterlot, few rules.”
“Maybe,” I said, not really sounding convincing. “Cloud is very straightforward. Odd, given she grew up in Canterlot too.”
Magetrix crossed her forelegs in a contemplative gesture. “Might be why she isn't in Canterlot now. Not all Canterlot ponies perfect fit for Canterlot society.”
“Possible.” I shook my head. “I'm not sure yet. She's not exactly the definition of a Canterlot lady. She's ... lively—if you will.” I let out a long breath. “At least she's stopped making advances, for right now anyways.”
“That’s good,” Mom said. “At least she knows her boundaries.”
Magetrix nodded. “Respect important. If behavior wrong, tell her. ”
“Still, I’m not exactly having fun with this project.” Closing my eyes, weariness started falling on my shoulders. “I’ve had tough assignments in the past, but this one is more stressful for whatever reason.”
“Then maybe you should finish it quickly and be done with it?” Mom wrapped a leg around my head and rested the side of her brow against mine. “I'd say it's time for you to present your findings to whomever gave it to you and avoid further field work. If she’s causing you this much stress, then maybe you should try and avoid her in the future. This can’t possibly be worth the trouble it’s giving you.”
“Finish assignment, move on to other things,” Magetrix agreed.
“Assuming you or Princess Celestia don’t have something planned next, you could always work with Maggie on something.” Mom grinned and poked me playfully in the ribs. “You would like that, wouldn’t you?”
I jerked from my mom’s hold to look at her. “But then I might not get a perfect score on my assignment!” I protested. “I mean, I would like to work with my old tutor someday, but I can’t just give up on something like this.”
“What aspects uncompleted?” Magetrix scribbled onto her notebook some more. “Make a list of things to complete. Do them, cross them off, move on quickly.”
“Well, I don't know everything about her.” I tried to take another sip of my apple juice, but found it to be empty. I sighed and threw it into a nearly full trashcan. “There's still big holes about her background I have, reasons why she did certain important things, just this and that.”
Magetrix wrote down a couple more items on her list. “Said she was from Canterlot, yes? Can find answers here.”
Mom nodded in agreement. “Surely secondary research can fill those gaps?”
“Maybe.” I stroked my chin, thinking the possibility over. “She does have relatives here in Canterlot, now that I think about it.”
Mom smiled as she gave me an encouraging pat to the shoulder. “Talk to them, then, if you can. If they don't want to answer your questions, I'm certain whoever gave you this assignment will understand when you write up your final report. You can hardly be blamed for something that happens that’s out of your control.”
Magetrix added another item to the list. “Could make inquiries at clan compound, learn which family members available.”
“I hope so.” Though I had doubts about pulling some kind of fast one on Princess Luna. Still, if I could do my honest best with what I had been given to work with... “It would be nice to finish it up, and not have to think about it. So I'll go ahead and do that, then. Then I can finish this up, and not have to deal with Cloud Kicker anymore.”
“Do it, then.” Mom hugged me again and kissed me on the forehead. “I hate it when your projects leave you frazzled.”
“Frazzling, risk of science,” Magetrix said, nodding.
“Frazzled is the right word for it.” I smiled at the both of them. “Thanks for the advice, Mom, Magetrix.”
“Anytime. Here to help,” Magetrix said.
“Maybe I'll be able to get my mind clear once I have that off my plate.” Then maybe I could move onto something I actually enjoyed, and I could put some of this relationship stuff behind me.
“There you go. And until then—after then, before then—in the meantime...” Mom gave me a maternal squeeze. “Don't ever hesitate to come to me if something's bothering you, alright?”
I don’t know what it is about shopping that makes it so enjoyable. Maybe there’s just something wired in our heads that makes us like getting stuff. I mean, logically—
“Twilight. Twilight! Yoohoo!” I blinked as I noticed Mom waving a hoof in front of my eyes. “Mom to Twilight, you still in there?”
I blinked a few more times, feeling embarrassed over having zoned out. Sometimes I become so transfixed on an idea that everything else in the world fades to the background. “Sorry. I guess I got distracted by something.”
Magetrix chuckled. “Big thinker, big thoughts.”
I gave the two of them an awkward smile. “Yeah, something like that.” Now that I had been snapped back to reality, I looked around to see rows and rows of magic goods: components for rituals, spellbooks, and various tools intended to assist with spellcraft. Elmanester's Enchanted Emporium was my preferred shop for all my magical necessities.
A mare in her late middle age wearing long, brown robes—robes seemed to be mandatory when working at a respectable magic shop—cleared her throat from behind a counter. “Ma’am, would you mind signing here for your new magic circle?” She tapped a hoof on a clipboard sitting on the countertop.
“Oops! Sorry,” I said, signing it.
“It’s okay.” The clerk checked my signature and, finding it to her satisfaction, put the clipboard back down. A big, flat box was then levitated onto the counter for me. “Here you go, Miss Sparkle. One big, new, fancy magic circle with all the bells and whistles. Just like you ordered.”
I picked up the box with my magic. “You mind if I look at it real quick? I want to be sure a few things are exactly how I wanted them.” I had ordered the new circle right after the old one had blown up with the lab. Getting my new circle was something I had been looking forward to for quite some time.
She waved for me to go ahead. “Not a problem. We here at Elmanester's Enchanted Emporium pride ourselves on the quality of our work.”
“Thanks!” I opened the box and removed some of the wrapping paper and bubblewrap, placing them to the side in a neat pile to make it easier to put them back once I was done.
Mom grinned as I worked my way to the actual magic circle. “Twilight, do you remember when you and Shining were kids and you two would just love to pop the bubblewrap? I can still remember how he would make sure that it was evenly split between you two. Then when he was done with that, he would jump all over it while you would carefully pop each individual bubble one at a time, starting at the top and working from left to right.”
“I remember.” Magetrix smiled fondly. “Was cute.”
“I wanted to make it last as long as I could,” I explained. “And I didn’t want to miss any of the bubbles, so naturally I did it in an organized manner.” Just because popping bubblewrap was fun didn’t mean I couldn’t do it in an efficient manner to maximize the fun potential.
I finished pulling off the wrappings to reveal a circle of alternating rings made of brass, silver, gold, and then adamant.
Magetrix made a long whistle. “Very nice. Very pricy. Plan on using it?”
I looked the circle over to see if there were any imperfections in it. “Well I certainly didn’t buy it just for show.”
Mom placed a hoof on my shoulder. “Now you know to be careful with something like that, right? A unicorn’s magical tools are—”
“Only as good as the unicorn,” I finished for her, having heard this lesson from everypony. From my parents, to my teachers, to Princess Celestia herself. “I know. I’ll be safe, promise.”
“Good.” Magetrix joined me in examining the circle. “Be upset if you were hurt. Too special for that.”
“We just want you to be safe, honey,” Mom said.
“I know, Mom.” I decided the best move was to let Mom and Magetrix’s concerns for my safety be left at that. I had already assured them that I would be careful, and I couldn't think of anything else to make them feel better. Treading the same ground over and over again wasn’t going to help anything.
“The circle looks good.” Satisfied, I started the process of repackaging the circle. A nice and orderly process, thanks to organizational planning.
Mom held the box while I slid the circle into it. “So where did you want to go next? And please do say something different than ‘the bookstore.’” She glanced at the dozen or so bags sitting by the doorway. Mom was usually pretty conservative with her money, but she had a tendency to loosen the purse strings when she was out with Magetrix. “I think you’ve done enough damage where that is concerned for one day.”
“I only got a couple bags’ worth of books,” I said defensively.
“Two of the larger bags.” Mom hefted up the two heavy-duty bags for emphasis.
“Books are heavy...” Admittedly, the bags did look like they were straining. Good thing we could use our telekinesis to make sure the books didn’t break out the bottom and spill out everywhere.
Mom looked like she was about to say something else when something caught her eye. Turning my head, I saw what had caught her attention. A light-gray unicorn mare about mom’s age had walked through the entrance of the store. Her dual-blue mane was done up in a tight bun, and she had a studious air about her.
The mare’s eyes fell upon us, and she smiled. “Velvet, Twilight! There you two are! I’ve been looking around town for you.” Her eyes turned to see that my old tutor was with us. “Oh, and Magetrix too. It’s good to see you all!”
“You too, Quill.” Mom gave her a quick nuzzle.
I finally remembered the mare. Dad’s longtime chief-of-staff, Quill Scratch. I felt like kicking myself for not instantly recognizing her given how many times I had seen her over the years. It was moments like these that reminded me how long it had been since I had moved to Ponyville.
Magetrix put on her own smile. “Good to see old friend. Like old times.”
I quickly finished repacking so that I could give Dad’s secretary my attention. “Hi, Miss Scratch.”
“I trust everypony is well?” Quill’s gaze fell upon our shopping bags. “It seems Night wasn’t kidding about all of you going out on a shopping trip.”
“It seems we’ve had a run of the town, yes.” Mom chuckled. “I’m guessing my husband gave you the passes for Twilight?”
“He did.” Quill rummaged through one of her saddlebags and pulled out a pair of passes. “Here you go, Twilight. Night was having trouble getting out of a meeting, so he sent me instead.”
I took the passes, looking them over. “Thanks! This means a lot to me.” That was at least one part of my plan that was coming together nicely. With the backstage passes, it wouldn’t be too hard to meet with Vinyl and tell her I wanted to speak with her. It might be a bit tricky to pull off without me sounding like I was some crazy fan, but I had put no small amount of thought into it.
Quill nodded. “I hope you enjoy my daughter’s performance, Twilight. She’s so talented!”
“I’m sure it’s going to be an interesting night.” All the pieces seemed to be falling into place, though this was really not something I was looking forward to. I didn’t like the picture that was starting to form around my parents, but I couldn’t stop now. I had to know the truth—whatever it might be.
Quill’s head tilted as she looked at me. “Twilight, is everything okay? You look tense.”
“What? No, I mean yes. I mean I’m fine.” I smiled reassuringly at her. “It’s just been a long day, is all. Just running, running, running all day long. You know how it is.” I laughed, feeling strained doing so.
“Do you need to talk about something, honey?” Mom gave me a concerned look. “There should be enough time before the concert for us to have a chat if something is bothering you.”
Just about the last thing I wanted to do at that moment was talk to Mom about what I was thinking. If I was wrong about everything, I could really hurt her and Dad’s feelings. If it were true ... then I would deal with that after I crossed that bridge. Right now, I needed to gather more facts, not lay down accusations.
“N-no, Mom. I think I just need to take my mind off of everything for a bit by going to that concert.” I quickly shoved the tickets into my saddlebags. “I’d really like to get going now, come to think of it. I don’t want to be late.”
“There’s plenty of time to talk to your mom before the concert. Trust me.” Quill exchanged a look with Mom. “No need to run off quite yet. Especially if there might be something you want to talk about with her.”
I started backing out towards the exit. Running away wasn’t exactly the smoothest way to end this conversation, but it would do in a pinch. “I’m good, really. If I really need to, we can talk when I get back home. Okay?”
Mom didn’t immediately reply as she watched me slowly withdraw, and when she did speak it was in a measured and cautious tone. “If you’re sure...”
“I am,” I assured her. “Bye, Mom. Magetrix, Quill. Good to see all of you.”
“See you back home tonight after the concert,” said Mom.
Quill nodded. “Bye. Shame you couldn’t stay and chat for a bit.”
“Was nice,” Magetrix said, sounding less than thrilled. “Should do again. Soon.” The way she said it made me feel guilty about leaving so suddenly, but this was something I needed to do.
“Sorry,” I said, nudging the door open. “We’ll meet again, and soon. I promise.” With that, I left the store with the intent of going to the arena, cursing my insatiable curiosity as I went.
I felt guilty for leaving everypony in such a hurry as I waited outside the arena where the concert was supposed to take place. Sparkler and I had planned on meeting outside a predetermined entrance along with her uncle, but Quill hadn’t been kidding about there still being plenty of time until the actual start of the concert. None of the bands scheduled had even started warming up by the time I arrived.
In my quick withdrawal from the magic shop, I hadn’t even had the foresight to grab a book to read. I didn’t have anything else to do, either. Which was all a bit worrying, considering I didn’t really even like the genres of music that would be played during the concert. This could become a very boring, and potentially very loud and irritating, evening.
After half an hour of waiting, I considered running to a bookstore and grabbing a book. The problem with that idea was that I had waited so long that I worried I wouldn’t come back in time to meet with Sparkler, and I didn’t want her to feel like I had stood her up. I was reasonably certain I could get back in time if I went right away, but what if there was a line, or I had trouble deciding what I wanted to buy? Would everypony around me be offended if I spent the concert reading? Would I even be able to concentrate on reading when the bands were playing? I could perhaps retreat the hallways to read, but that seemed like a bit of an insult to my parents for getting the tickets for me. I mean they sincerely wanted me to enjoy the concert, right? Not to mention it would be rude to ditch Sparkler and not very responsible of me.
The longer I thought about it, the worse it got. The minutes trickled away, leaving me with less time to make a decision. It would have been nice to be able to make a graph of the pros and cons of getting a book or not, but I didn’t have any paper or an instrument to write with. I could possibly go buy some, but that ran into the same problems as getting a book. Any attempts to get organized would only cost me more of my valuable time. If only I had some paper and ink to create a chart with. Then I could plot out what the most time efficient manner to spend my time would be.
If only I had something to write with!
“Uh, Miss Twilight?” Sparkler asked, sounding strangely concerned for some reason. “What’re you doing with those napkins?”
I examined the checkerboard of napkins I had before me. Grabbing some napkins and condiments from a nearby hayburger stand was the best I could get on such short notice. “I’m trying to figure out what the most efficient use of my time would be!” I’d glanced over the carefully drawn lines of the graph I had made. Ketchup packets were not the most precise of instruments to use. Better than the sauerkraut, but still. “If I don’t work out this mathematical formula, I won’t know if I can go to the bookstore and be back in time. The problem is that there are a number of variance factors that I have to account for, some of which I don’t have any hard numbers for due to a lack of scientific data. For instance, I don’t know how likely you are to be early or late for an appointment. I can make some estimates based on your age, sex, and socio-economic class, but the standard deviation would still be too high, resulting in an unacceptably low reliability coefficient! Without those types of things hammered down, I can’t create a serviceable function to figure out when you’ll be here and if I have to time to get a book.”
“Riiiight … not to burst your bubble or anything, but...” Sparkler said with reluctance. “Well, we’re already here. I don’t think you have to worry about whatever it is you’re doing anymore.”
“What?! I can’t be out of time already!” I briefly lost my telekinetic grip on a dozen of the napkins, and they were immediately blown off by a breeze. “No! My notes! I haven’t had time to even create copies yet!” If only I had a bulletin board and some thumbtacks. I knew I’d forgotten to add something to the supplies list!
“Er, right.” She stepped between me and the flying napkins. “But we’re here now, so how about you forget the napkins?”
My shoulders slumped as I watched the napkins go. There was no way I’d be able to run through the crowd and catch them all. The crowd had become more dense since I had started. Instead of trying retrieve my work, I reluctantly focused on Sparkler. “We?”
“You didn’t think Dee would let her daughter go to a concert without an adult, did you?” asked a stallion who stepped next to Sparkler. Looking at him, it wasn’t hard to guess that he was Derpy’s big brother, Cirrus Doo. He had a darker gray coat and deep blue eyes, but he had the same yellow mane.
“Hi, I’m Twilight.” I extended a hoof to him. With everything else I had been distracted by, I had nearly forgotten that Sparkler was going to be escorted to the concert by her uncle.
“Cirrus Doo.” He took my hoof to shake it. “So you’re Dinky’s magic tutor? Nice to meet you. Your help’s meant the world to Dinky and Dee, and they’ve had a lot to say about you.” His lips curled into a small, knowing grin. “Especially Dinky, which says a lot given her tendency to shift topics like a magpie in a glitter factory.”
“I’m just trying to help a filly in need. Any unicorn with sufficient experience could have done what I did.” My cheeks warmed a bit. It always felt a bit awkward to get complimented on anything I did. I was just giving Dinky some help that any filly her age should get.
Sparkler chuckled. “I think you’re doing alright if Dinky asks if both you and Miss Cheerilee can be her favorite teachers.”
“Aren’t we her only teachers?” I asked.
“Well ... yes,” Sparkler admitted. “But she likes both of you. So that’s something, at least.”
“Yeah, it is, and she’s a great student,” I said. By silent agreement, we all started towards the arena entrance. “Are you two ready for the concert, then?”
Sparkler barely contained a squee, a big smile creasing her face. “You betcha!”
Cirrus grinned at Sparkler. “I am. I even have my earplugs ready to go so that I don’t have to go into work deaf tomorrow.” I got the sense that Cirrus was here more to spend time with Sparkler than for the concert itself. Fair enough; I wasn’t exactly here to listen to the music either. Family could make you do things you didn’t necessarily want to do.
Sparkler stuck her tongue out at her uncle. “DJ-Pon3 is way better than any of that old, moldy stuff you listen to.”
“Speaking as an old and moldy thing, I resent that remark.” He shot his niece an amused grin. “Now show some respect for the classics, or the next concert we go to is the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra.”
“Ick, forget I said anything.” Clearly not wanting to lose, Sparkler turned back to me. “And you got the backstage passes, right?”
I patted my saddlebags. “Sure do. I got them before coming here.”
“Cool.” Sparkler maintained a calm and collected demeanour for approximately three and five-eighths of a second before she hopped in place, a big, goofy grin spreading across her face. “I can’t wait to see DJ-Pon3!” Sparkler kept bouncing for a few moments before calming down.
I wish I could have had something approaching Sparkler’s enthusiasm for meeting Vinyl Scratch. Thinking about the meeting I was going to try to have with her was making my stomach tie up in knots. It was probably going to take some work just to get her to sit down and have a meeting with me. Especially considering the public venue we were at, but that was something I was going to deal with when I actually saw Vinyl. Right now I had to take care of more immediate concerns.
“I was thinking that Sparkler could come down to my seats when DJ-Pon3 is coming on stage,” I said. “Once her performance is done, the two of us can use my backstage passes to see the band. That sound good?”
Cirrus nodded. “That’s fine by me.”
“Sounds great.” She carefully took the backstage pass. “Oooh! I can’t believe I get to see DJ-Pon3!”
“So are we good to go?” I asked.
“One thing first.” Sparkler gave her uncle a sweet smile that spoke of foul intentions. “Can I have some bits for the merch booth?”
“Taking a note out of your mom’s book and spending my hard-earned money?” Cirrus grinned and pulled out some bits. “Here you go. Just don’t take too long.”
“Thanks!” Sparkler took the bits and gave her uncle a quick peck on his cheek before running off.
“You gave her quite a few bits,” I noted. “You sure she needed that much?”
Cirrus shook his head at his niece. “Just spoiling her a bit, but I think it’s my right as her uncle.”
I grinned back. “I can understand that.” I had heard Sparkler had endured a somewhat rough life before being adopted by Derpy. Even then, Derpy was a single mom working on a mailmare’s salary. Sparkler having her uncle splurge a bit on her wasn’t exactly going to spoil her.
Sparkler came back to us, to my mild surprise, covered head to hoof in glowsticks; with long bands of phospherecent tubes wrapped all along her body and she even had a few woven into her mane and tail. Either they were cheaper than I realized, or Cirrus had given Sparkler more than a few bits to play with.
Sparkler gave us a goofy grin. “So how do I look?”
“Like a rave party Hearth’s Warming Eve tree,” I snarked. “What’s the matter, worried we were going to lose sight of you in the stadium?”
Cirrus snorted amusedly. “Now I’m worried she’s going to attract bugs like a bug zapper.”
“Hey!” Sparkler raised her nose with enough dignity to make any of the Canterlot nobility proud. “I’ll have you know that I look cool. It’s all the rage to do this at DJ-Pon3’s concerts.”
She was at that age where a pony cared a lot about what others thought and did—even if half the time they denied it. Still, it was pretty funny how Sparkler was lit up like she was.
“C’mon, Sparks.” Cirrus put a hoof on Sparkler’s back to move her along. “It’s time we got a seat. Concert’s gonna start here in about fifteen minutes.”
“Yeah, we better.” Sparkler glanced around her shoulder around to me. “See you when DJ-Pon3 goes on. ‘Kay?”
I waved at the two of them as they left. “Sounds good, see you then.”
I should have followed Cirrus’ example and bought some earplugs. With my seat being only a dozen or so rows from the stage, the music was really loud. I knew better too. Based on some statistics I had read, noise at one hundred and ten decibels for a couple of minutes can hurt your hearing. Your average rock concert tended to create between a hundred and a hundred and twenty decibels. Thank goodness I knew a sound-deadening spell to protect my hearing. I had originally learned the spell to help me study without being interrupted by outside noises, but it worked just fine to keep me from going deaf or suffering from tinnitus for the rest of the night. I just hoped this miserable experience would be over soon.
“Woo! I hope this night never ends!” Sparkler hollered. “This is the greatest concert ever!” She then returned to flailing her limbs about in something that was probably the bastardized cousin of dancing.
True to our plan, she had come down to sit with me when it was Vinyl Scratch’s band’s turn to come on stage. The first couple of bands had been fairly painful experiences for me. The first had sounded like an electronic keyboard had been thrown into trash compactor while said trash compactor was fighting a horde of autonomous rakes. The second band did nothing but that “wubs” music I had heard about, and it all just sounded the same-ish awful. Needless to say, I didn’t get it. Either that or it was as bad as I thought it was.
When it came to be Vinyl’s turn, I didn’t have high expectations, no matter how much Sparkler had talked my ear off about how good she was and how she was supposedly revolutionizing music. Vinyl Scratch and her bandmates came onto the stage to the biggest applause of the night, and quickly set up to play with practiced ease. It wasn’t long until they started playing.
To my surprise, I didn’t hate the performance. There was actually a surprising level of variety in the music, and some of the songs had a really nice beat to them. Most of Vinyl’s songs seemed to hybridize genres, and it created some interesting results. I found it fascinating how she had even worked some elements of classical music into the more electronic music that seemed to be her mainstay.
“Who's that?” I asked, pointing at an earth pony mare with a light-gray coat as they finished up another song. She carried herself with a lot more distinction than most of her bandmates as she stood on stage with her cello and even wore a pink bowtie. Perhaps she was trying to stand out and make a name for herself? Or maybe she normally dressed like that.
“That’s Octavia!” Sparkler yelled over the roar of the crowd. “She and DJ-Pon3 formed Classical Harmony a year ago. Aren’t they awesome!?”
“They’re something alright.” I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to define them but they had struck my interest. It was almost to my disappointment when I saw the band start to pack up and leave the stage. Had their set been that quick?
“Aw, damn.” Sparkler wiped the sweat from her brow. “Time really does fly when you’re having fun. I can’t believe it’s already over.”’
“We still get to meet the band in a bit,” I reminded her.
“Got that right!” She spared a quick glance at the ponies around us as they started filing out and all but pushed me along the aisle. “We need to hurry if we wanna beat everypony else there! We should go right now. Comeoncomeoncomeon!”
“Okay, okay! I’m going.” I stepped quickly to keep from getting pushed over by the hyperactive teen. She was almost like a small kid on a sugar rush with how keyed up she was by everything.
The two of us started heading towards the section of arena where we were supposed to wait to meet Vinyl’s band. Shame that seemingly everypony else had also decided to head in the same direction. I was fighting my way through the crowd when, next thing I knew, Sparkler was sliding her way through the crowd faster than I was.
“Sparkler! Wait up!” I yelled after her. A sense of panic settled over me as I lost sight of her completely in the crowd. “Sparkler!” I was forced to keep moving as ponies crowded around me.
I fought down my panic and tried to think calmly; losing it right now wasn’t going to help Sparkler. There were plenty of ponies around and plenty of security placed all over too. That meant she was probably safe. Likely she had kept right on going to where she was going to see Vinyl Scratch, so it made the most sense that I would find her there. At least that would be a good place to start. From there, I could do things like contact security about a missing pony if I needed to.
Ideally though, I could find her before it comes to that. Wanting to get a better view, I quickly cast a reverse-gravity spell on myself and then teleported to the ceiling. My eyes quickly scanned through the crowd, but I couldn’t find Sparkler anywhere in the hall. She had either moved on, or I just couldn’t spot here amongst all the other bright, colorful ponies. I would have searched more, but some of the security guards were now giving me odd looks, so I teleported back to the ground and canceled out the reverse-gravity spell.
That idea a bust, I moved through the crowd as quickly as I could, keeping an eye out for Sparkler. Eventually, after what felt like forever, I arrived underground at a gate standing outside of the section of the arena designated for staff and performers. Glancing around, I didn’t see Sparkler, though several ponies were standing around covered in glowsticks like she had been. That meant I was probably in the right place.
At a bit of a loss, I tapped the shoulder of a speckled, gray unicorn mare. “Hey, have you seen a young mare, high school age with a pink coat and violet mane? Three gems for a cutie mark?”
“You mean the cute one with the nice plot?” she asked with a grin.
“Um, well, I wouldn’t describe her like that.” I suddenly felt embarrassed. Thinking about Sparkler’s rear end was not something I really wanted to think about given our age differences. “Technically she is attractive, but, um...”
“Relax, your sister’s over there.” The speckled pony pointed off towards the wall, and I saw Sparkler standing there, looking about with a hint of anxiousness.
“We’re not sisters,” I quickly corrected. “We’re just friends.”
“Ah, my mistake. I just figured that considering you didn’t sound like you were dating...” She shook her head. “Never mind.”
“Thanks for the help,” I said to her before making my way to Sparkler.
Sparkler blinked when she spotted me and let out a relieved breath. “Oh good, there you are.”
I fixed her with a firm look. “Sparkler, you ran ahead of me. You scared me.”
She smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I thought you were right behind me. I was working my way through the crowd when I noticed you weren’t there anymore. Didn’t know what to do other than come straight here.”
I let out a long breath, feeling both frustration and relief. “Please be more careful next time, okay? I nearly had a heart attack when I lost sight of you.”
“Got it.” Sparkled scraped a hoof along the floor, not looking directly at me. “Sorry, again.”
“It’s fine,” I told her, pushing down the anger that was welling up in me, now that the fear was dissipating. “You didn’t mean to do it. Let’s concentrate on enjoying ourselves.” Well, at least Sparkler would be able to enjoy herself. I reminded myself why I was here to start with, and I felt my stomach start to twist into knots. I was far too committed to back down now, though. I had a few ideas on how I could convince Vinyl to meet with me. Though I wasn’t wild about the idea, I could always use my fame as an Element of Harmony to convince her to talk to me. Another option was to throw some hints that I knew the truth and wanted to speak with her, since I wouldn’t be too surprised if she knew at least as much as I did about this situation. Assuming she was my sister. There was still very much the distinct possibility I had badly misread the whole situation.
After waiting for a few minutes, a young mare with a wide smile on her face and a clipboard floating in front of her stepped out before us. “Alright, everypony that’s here to meet with Classical Harmony, get your badges ready and form a line right in front of me for me to check. Once we have that taken care of, I’ll get you your Classical Harmony merchandise to be signed, and you’ll get to see the band.”
Everypony complied with the mare’s directions, and we were all soon processed with professional efficiency. I had a feeling that the mare had done this more times than she could count, given the artificial cheer she presented to all of us and how quickly she moved us along.
She led us down a hallway before stopping before a large bin filled with bags stuffed with merchandise. “Here we go! A shirt, poster, hat, and bag for everypony.” She quickly levitated everypony their items. “So here’s how it’s going to go: the members of Classical Harmony are each sitting at a table. Get into the line of the pony you want to see and have sign your merchandise, and please keep moving so that everypony has time to get a turn. Thank you!” With a flourish, she opened a door and encouraged us onwards.
Inside were the members of Classical Harmony, a pair of them sitting at each table, waiting for the crowd. I had to move along to keep from getting trampled by the small legion of squealing fans.
Sparkler pulled on my leg, drawing me towards the table Vinyl was sitting at. A line was swiftly forming in front of her table, easily the largest of the bunch. The only one that came close was the table Octavia had been planted at. “C’mon! I don’t want to be last in line,” Sparkler pleaded. “I don’t want to come this close only to miss my chance to meet her.”
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” I let myself be pulled along into the line.
The two of us waited as ponies got to see Vinyl one at a time. Thanks to the ingrained sense of time I had build up over the years, I counted off the seconds, and it seemed that every pony was being given a minute with the DJ before being gently encouraged to move on by the security ponies flanking her table. This, of course, seemed too long for Sparkler, as she craned her neck this way and that, even resorting to hopping a few times to get a better look.
Sparkler looked like she was about to explode from excitement when we finally reached the table. She squealed, a unrestrained grin of joy running across her face. “DJ-Pon3!” Words flowed out of her mouth in an unceasing wave, her dam of restraint finally giving under the pressure. “I’m your biggest fan! I mean, I know you probably hear that all the time, but it’s totally true with me! I own all your records and listen to them every day. You are sooo amazing.” She rolled out the poster she had been given. “Pleasepleaseplease, sign this with ‘to my biggest, bestest, most committed fan ever, Sparkler’!”
Vinyl Scratch chuckled at Sparkler’s enthusiasm. This probably wasn’t the first time she had dealt with a fan with Sparkler’s energy. “Sure thing, kid.” She levitated her pen and wrote on the poster. “I couldn’t disappoint my best fan ever, now could I?”
Sparkler squeed loud enough to make me worry about my hearing and bounced in place. “DJ-Pon3 said I was her best fan ever! Nopony at school is going to believe me!”
“How ‘bout I sign the rest of your stuff as proof?” Vinyl offered, gesturing with her pen at her bag of merchandise.
“Oh, right!” Barely missing a beat, Sparkler spread out everything onto the table for Vinyl to sign. Once Vinyl finished signing everything, one of the security ponies cleared his throat and motioned for Sparkler to step aside. “Thanks, DJ-Pon3! I love you!” With more than a hint of reluctance, she stepped to the side to allow me to approach the desk.
Now that I was here, I could feel my heart racing. I only had about a minute with Vinyl to do something, but I knew I would need to meet with her longer than that. The trick was to avoid sounding like some crazy fan and getting tackled by the security ponies. About the last thing I wanted was to have to explain to everypony why I was dragged away by concert security and tossed out of the stadium. That was not something I wanted on my record.
“Hey!” Vinyl smiled at me, though it was a bit hard to read her with those big shades hiding her eyes. I had to wonder if she recognized me or not. It was perfectly possible that she knew who my dad was, and thus, who I was, though she didn’t show it if she did.
I spread out my merchandise in a neat and orderly manner onto the table. I had spent the entire concert thinking of how best to get Vinyl to meet with me, coming up with multiple contingencies to deal with a variety of situations when the time came. It was a shame about the worst thing that could have happened did. I was always afraid that while I was taking a test this one terrible thing would happen, the very thing that I was doing right then as Vinyl smiled expectantly at me—I blanked.
I couldn’t recall any of my plans, things to stay, or whatever else I had for a backup. I was choking at the decisive moment!
I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. “So, um, I think we might be two notes on the same bar! You know what I mean?”
Vinyl raised an eyebrow. “Um, wait, what?” She gestured at the poster. “So there anything you want me to say on this?” she asked, probably trying to ignore my previous comment.
“Anything is fine,” I said, feeling irritation and desperation building up in me. I decided to try and be a bit more direct. “So, after some research, I think we might have some common ancestry.”
“Err, is that so?” Vinyl’s writing became quicker.
One of the security guards gave his compatriot a significant look. Great, so they’re probably thinking I’m some crazy obsessed fan they’re going to need to tackle to the floor. My time was running out fast.
“Yeah, um, I wouldn’t mind going over it with you at some point.” I gave her a hopeful smile.
The other security pony coughed. “Ma’am, could you please take your things and allow the next pony in line to have her turn?”
I needed to quickly think of something to say to turn this around. This was my last chance without finding another way to meet Vinyl. A dozen options ran through my mind, and in my desperation, I grasped onto one of them and blurted out, “I think we might be half-sisters!”
Twilight Sparkle: Master of Subtlety.
Realizing what I had just yelled out for everypony to hear, I slapped my hooves onto my mouth. Now if they didn’t think I was crazy, they did now.
Sparkler somehow, despite standing on a flat surface, managed to trip and nearly fell over.
Vinyl blinked behind her glasses. “Hey, chill with that, will you?” she hissed.
Before I could figure out what exactly she meant by that, Sparkler zipped over to my side as the security ponies moved towards me. “Uh, whooakay.” Sparkler laughed awkwardly as she grabbed me by the leg and tugged on it. “Sorry, she's—this her first concert seeing you and ... first meeting jitters, right?”
I groaned loudly, feeling like a complete dunce as everything crumbled around me. “No, I—sorry. That came out wrong.” I wasn’t quite sure how what I said was supposed to come out right, but I knew that wasn’t it.
Vinyl stopped one of her guards by grabbing his shoulder. She leaned in to whisper into his ear. That done, she turned back to the rest of us with a grin. “Right, yeah! Everypony's dream, I gotcha. Look...” She scooped up all the merchandise into my bag and levitated it over to me. “Thanks for coming, and I'll see you next time.”
The security guard Vinyl had spoken to moved forward to interpose himself between me and Vinyl. “Move along please, miss. There's a lot of ponies behind you waiting to meet the DJ.”
“Sorry, look, we're going.” I moved towards the doorway through which we had entered. “We're not trying to cause any trouble, I promise.” It seemed I had gone through all that work, only to botch it at the end. I just knew I was going to be kicking myself over this for the rest of the week.
“We're going, we're going.” Sparkler stuck close to me as we made our exit, and the guard was close behind us. “Dude, we're going. Chillax, alright?”
The two of us made our way at a quick walk, but the guard kept following us. It seemed that I was going to be escorted out of here in short order. My ears wilted as I looked to Sparkler. “Let's just get you back to your uncle, okay? Even if I get thrown out, I want to get you to your uncle. Not get tossed out on your plot along with me because I did something stupid.”
“Right,” Sparkler said, none too happy. “I think he’s back this way.” She took the lead and led us back into the arena. After climbing some stairs, we arrived where Cirrus was sitting, security guard in tow.
Cirrus noticed us and stood to meet us. “Hey, Sparks.” He looked around us and frowned when he saw the guard.
“I might have gotten a bit overexcited,” I admitted, sighing. “Doesn't matter. I just wanted to get Sparkler back to you before anything happened.”
“Gotcha.” Cirrus eyed the security pony. “‘Sthere a problem, sir?” he said with more authority than I expected. Though that would figure, considering he was a soldier in the Royal Guard. Having a commanding presence was part of the job, especially for a sergeant.
“No problem. We just had to keep the line moving.” He paused before murmuring to me, “If you're going to be here awhile, Miss Scratch wanted to talk to you after she finishes with autographs.”
That caused me to blink. Had she recognized me after all? If not, then things could get very awkward, very soon. “Um, okay. Did she say where?”
“She said to just keep this on you.” He pulled out a glowstick on a necklace and offered it to me. “She'll come find you.”
I took the necklace and examined it. Extending my magical senses, I detected a unique magical signature. It seemed that Vinyl Scratch, or somepony working for her, had put a rudimentary tracking spell on it. The spell wouldn’t have worked very well at major distances, but it would serve over a few city blocks just fine.
“Err, thank you.” I put the glowstick around my neck. “I'll keep a hold of it.” It seemed that Vinyl really did want to see me. What that meant exactly, I wasn’t sure, but it was something I could work with. More than getting thrown out of the stadium, anyways.
Sparkler leaned in towards me as the security pony departed. “Sooo...” she said conspiratorially.
Cirrus gave me a teasing grin. “And here I thought Sparks would be the overeager fanfilly.”
“This isn't what it looks like,” I insisted, knowing where this was going.
“I dunno.” She shot a mischievous grin to her uncle. “It looks like you just got something extra after a small whisperfest with security instead of getting tossed out of the building. ‘Sthat supposed to look like?”
“Nothing—I mean it is nothing.” I rubbed at my eyes. “There isn’t anything going on. At least not what you’re implying.”
“I'm not implying anything,” Sparkler said innocently. “I'm just saying that it looks like you got a calling card for a discreet meeting later with a high-profile celebrity.”
The nature of the conversation made me very aware that we were talking in public about this, adding to my embarrassment. “It’s personal business, I assure you.”
Sparkler smirked evilly. “Aren't all discreet meetings? Think I could be invited?”
“Behave, you,” Cirrus said, nudging her with a wing. “And no.”
“What? I didn't imply anything.” She gave her uncle the innocently guilty look. “You're the ones whose minds're filling in the gaps with strange and unusual conclusions.”
Cirrus rolled his eyes. “Riiight. And you wonder why Dinky came up with The Brat Song especially for you.” Sparkler replied by sticking her tongue out at her uncle. He made an amused snort as he ignored her and turned to me. “Well, if there aren’t any problems with security, I guess that's that. This goof—” He wrapped a wing around Sparkler, “—is out past her bedtime.”
Looking around, I noticed that most everypony had filed out of the stadium by now. “Wow, it is getting late, isn't it?”
“Holy hay, you're not kidding.” Sparkler put a hoof over her mouth to stifle a yawn. “Time flies in a good concert.”
Cirrus nodded. “Right. Time to head back, then.” He motioned Sparkler to move down the stairs, but stopped to look to me. “I'm guessing you've got your own things to do after things wind down here?”
“Yeah, don't worry about me,” I assured him. “I’ll be fine.”
“Well, it was nice to meet you then,” he said. “Feel free to drop by tomorrow if you're in the neighborhood.”
“I’ll consider it.” I waved as the two of them moved to depart. “See you later.”
Sparkler yawned, giving me a lazy wave as her uncle nudged her along. “You too.”
I watched for a bit as the two of them walked off, Sparkler with her goods in hoof and the intricate pattern of glowsticks illuminating her body while her uncle hugged her with his wing. It was nice to see the two of them having some family time. At least Sparkler had gotten to have a nice night enjoying her favorite band.
Shame that left me with the question of what to do next. I wasn’t sure if I should wait for Vinyl out here in the stadium, the hallways, or even outside. Unfortunately, the guard hadn’t given me more elaborate instructions. With little else to do, I headed to one of the concession stands inside one of the stadium’s hallways.
After waiting in line for a few minutes, I stepped up to the counter. The concession stand pony nodded at me and spoke with a voice that hadn’t quite broken through puberty yet. “Thanks for waiting, what can I get you?”
“Could I get some nachos and a soda?” Yes, I know nachos weren’t exactly the healthiest thing I could have gotten, but I needed some comfort food thanks to the stress I was going through. The waiting wasn’t helping in the least.
I jerked when somepony suddenly tapped on my shoulder, speaking with a strangely unremarkable and unmemorable voice. “Hey. Make it a double? I'll pay you back for it.”
I turned around to look at the pony. The pony wore a dark hoodie lined with reflective material typical for a safety vest, with a pair of saddlebags covering her cutie mark. I had to concentrate to look at her for some reason. It was like she was the least interesting thing in the hallway. Under the hood I saw a familiar white-coated mare smile from behind her sunglasses.
“Vinyl?”
“Shhh!” She put a hoof over my muzzle. “You have any idea how hard this spell gets when my cover's blown?”
I blinked and examined her more closely, using my magical senses this time. It didn’t take me long to recognize a spell I had used in the past: the background pony spell. That would explain why I hadn’t noticed Vinyl even though she was right behind me, and why she wasn’t being mobbed by fans right at that moment. I doubted her outfit alone would have fooled an arena filled with DJ-Pon3 fans for very long.
“Oh, sorry. One sec.” Vinyl probably didn’t want to risk her spell by directly addressing the concession stand pony. I turned back around to the concession pony. “Could you make that a double, please?”
“Sure,” the cashier said with a shrug, before turning around to prepare our order.
“Cool. Here's a few bits.” Vinyl levitated a few bits over to me.
“Thanks.” I took the bits and added a few of my own to pay for the snacks.
The pony at the stand took the bits and gave the artificial smile of a pony working in fast food. “Thanks for coming, have a nice night.” He pushed our order forward, and I picked it up.
Vinyl grabbed her tray and cup when I offered them to her. “Ooh, score! These are fresh.”
The two of us stepped out of the line to let the next pony in line step up. I had to concentrate to keep track of her. The background pony spell kept making me want to turn to more interesting things, like other ponies walking past us or some of the posters lining the hallway. “That is a bit lucky given we’re near the end of the night.”
“Yeah. Usually I just get the dregs, if there's any left at all.” She started digging into her nachos like she probably hadn’t had anything solid to eat for half a day.
I took a few bites of my own nachos, though less enthusiastically. “So ... I think we have a few things to talk about.”
“Yeah, yeah—nachos first, talk later.” Vinyl took a few more mouthfuls. “Seriously, I like, never get any good food from the stand. Stuff's usually closed by the time the crowds die down enough for me to get in line.”
“Not a big surprise I guess, considering you seem to be the final act at concerts.” It felt a bit eerie to casually talk about something like this to a pony who was probably my half-sister. I’d been waiting for this for days now, and here we were, just talking, eating nachos. How in the world was I supposed to broach the topic that we had the same father and—
“Hello!? You listening to me!?” Vinyl waved a hoof in front of my face.
“Huh?” I shook my head. “Sorry, lost track of everything. The background pony spell probably isn’t helping me either.”
“Egh, it’s cool.” She had finished up her nachos during the time I had lost track of her and tossed the container into a nearby trashcan. “Oooh, that's the stuff.” She smacked her chest and let out a loud burp. “Cool—so. 'Sup?”
“‘Sup?’” I asked. The question had struck me as a bit too casual due to ... everything.
“Yeah. 'Sup.” Clearing her throat, she spoke in the cultured tone typical of ponies in Canterlot. “As in, the slang term which serves as a contraction for the phrase 'What's up'?” She grinned at me and returned to speaking in her rougher manner of speech. “C'mon, don't tell me you've never heard that before?”
“I have. Just ... not sure what I should say now that you're here.” I sipped at my soda to buy me a second to gather my thoughts. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you since I got to Canterlot, and now I’m a bit at a loss about how to proceed.”
“Maybe 'Hi'?” She sipped at her own drink before continuing. “Although we kinda already did that back at the signing booth.”
“Sorry about that,” I said sheepishly. “I panicked a bit there.”
Vinyl shrugged. “It’s cool. Was kinda funny. That type of thing happens a little more than you'd think.” She looked around at the ponies milling about us. “Though we can't really do your kinda talk here. Kinda a private thing. Ya know?”
“I’m going to have to agree with that,” I said.
Vinyl sipped her drink until the familiar sound of it being empty came out. “Well, c'mon. Let's get outta here and go to my place.”
I couldn’t think of any argument against going to her place. Having our talk in private really sounded like the better idea, and Vinyl’s place sounded as good of a location to go to as any. “That sounds like a plan.”
“Cool.” She led the way, and I followed her through the crowd.
I worked to finish my own drink and tossed it into a trashcan. No sense letting perfectly good soda go to waste. “Thanks for talking to me, by the way. I can't imagine this is easy for you.”
“Eh, I kinda figured this was gonna happen someday.” We exited through the gates of the stadium, and Vinyl dropped her hood, revealing her two-tone blue mane.
My ears wilted upon hearing that. “Yeah, I guess you would.” Now I was becoming worried about what we were going to talk about. Well, more worried. Could Vinyl Scratch have been storing up years of anger that she was going to unload on me? It wouldn’t be very surprising, with me being the daughter our father raised while she had been cast to the side thanks to an accident of birth. Could I really blame her for feeling that way if it was true? I could only imagine what that would make me feel like, growing up like that.
Vinyl craned her neck to give me a concerned frown. “Why the long face about it? This ain't exactly the end of your comfortable little world if you've lasted this long without knowing.”
“It's ... complicated,” I said. I thought for a moment before continuing. “I'm not used to thinking of my parents like this. About their life choices, I guess you would say. There’s just so much I don’t know about, and the stress has my stomach tied up in knots.”
She grunted. “Yeah, that's fair.” Silence fell between us as we walked along the nighttime streets. There wasn’t too much we could talk about until we arrived at her home anyways, and I wasn’t into having some generic conversation about what the weather was like.
The DJ—no, my ... my sister led me into one of the upper middle class neighborhoods of Canterlot. Living in a area like this helped confirm that Vinyl was doing well for herself. We ascended some stairs for an apartment complex and arrived at one of the doors. After fumbling with her keys, Vinyl opened the door for us and turned on a light.
We stepped inside, and I got my first look at the inside of her apartment. It was surprisingly nice and neat, having good modern furniture that gave a sophisticated feel to it. Knowing what I did about Vinyl, I had expected to see clothing and half-empty food cartons strewn about, not a living space that would have made a neat-freak like me happy. It almost looked like the apartment belonged on the front cover a furniture store magazine, and I suspected that Vinyl may very well have hired somepony to decorate her rooms.
Vinyl headed to the kitchen and opened her icebox. “Gonna grab somethin' to drink, you want anything?”
“Whatever you’re getting would be alright,” I told her.
“Got it.” She pulled out a couple of cans and passed one to me. “Go ahead, sit. That’s what the couches and chairs are there for.”
“Thanks.” I followed her advice and sat down on the couch while she sat on a big comfy cushion. I took a moment to note that I had been given some canned cider. It probably shouldn’t have been a surprise that Vinyl would favor something with a bit of alcohol in it for this chat. “So ... You have a nice place.”
“Thanks.” Vinyl opened her can and sipped from it. “Though Tavi does a lot of the cleaning up. She's kind of a neat-freak.”
I pulled on the tab to open my own can. “Tavi?”
“Octavia.” She made a vague gesture. “You know, the gray mare playing the cello?”
“Oh, right, her.” I nodded. “She seems nice.”
“Yeah, she's my PFF for a reason. She's pretty cool.” Vinyl tipped her can back, very quickly chugging half of it. “So...”
“Right...” I nursed my can, not sure what to say next.
Thankfully, Vinyl broke the silence for me. “Kinda figured you'd show up, sooner or later.”
“So you knew? About—” I rolled my hoof vaguely, “everything?” It felt strange how quickly and casually it had been confirmed that my dad had another daughter I hadn’t even known about. Some part of me thought I would have to weasel, confront her, something other than what was happening. Two mares sitting across from one another having a relatively amicable conversation about our families.
“Yeah, Mom told me.” She snorted amusedly. “Somepony had to pay for music college. And some of those Hearth’s Warming Eve presents were waaay too nice for my mom’s secretary salary. I got some sick new gear that made all my friends in school totally jealous.”
“How long have you known?” I asked.
Vinyl tapped her chin as she thought. “Since I was about fourteen, for sure. Basically once I got old enough to start asking questions and looking for answers. Mom and Dad hadn’t exactly been very stealthy about it.”
“Oh.” I suppressed a shiver over hearing somepony else call my dad by the same name. It was awkward to the extreme. Now I had to wonder how blind I must have been to what my dad had I been up to. Had he been more careful around me and the rest of the family, or had I just been blind? “Guess it was kind of hard going through life without a sire?”
Vinyl gave an indifferent shrug. “Nah, Mom took good care of me, and Dad was there from time to time when I needed him. He made sure I got into a nice college and paid for everything, for example. Better than how some bastards get treated by their noble sires. Some never get the time of day from them.”
“That's good, I guess.” That probably shouldn’t have been too surprising since Vinyl’s mom had been working for Dad since before I was born. It seemed they had made some sort of arrangement they both found acceptable.
Flashing me a grin, Vinyl said, “The old stallion also got me the DJ gig for the wedding.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “What wedding?”
“Um...” She coughed and took a long sip of her drink. “Just some wedding for some big shot nobles. Big paycheck type of deal. It was nice for Dad to hook me up, is all. Don’t worry ‘bout it.”
“Oh, I see.” Silence descended between us for a long moment before I thought of something else to talk about. “Your mom seems nice. At least she always struck me as a good pony when I talked to her.”
“She's the best,” Vinyl said without a shadow of a doubt. “Coolest mom ever.” With a final gulp, she finished her cider. “Want another while I’m getting one for myself?”
I shook my head. “I probably shouldn't have too much. Especially right now.” I wanted to be able to think clearly at that moment, not get hammered. Though I suspected drinking myself stupid would sound appealing soon enough.
“Right. But this is a conversation that I don't wanna have sober, so...” Without moving from her cushion, she telekinetically opened her icebox and floated another can over to herself. Telekinesis was useful like that.
“Sorry, I didn't want to turn your life upside down,” I apologized. “I just ... wanted to know the truth.”
“I get that.” She opened her can and took a sip. “Shining and I had a talk like this years ago.”
My ears perked at that. “Shiny knows all about this?”
Vinyl nodded. “Yeah. No offense, but he’s kinda more on the ball with noticing this type of thing. So we had a few talks, sent letters, hung out now and again. That type of thing. It’s kinda nice spending time with our big bro.”
I shuffled uncomfortably on the couch. My big brother had known about this too? Was I the only pony in Canterlot that didn’t know that all of this was going on? Why hadn’t anypony told me? Maybe the answer was that I had been too dense to see the truth until now?
I rubbed at my face, trying to clear my thoughts. “I have so many things going through my head right now it's hard to even organize any of it.”
"That bad?” she asked sympathetically.
I ran a hoof over one of my forelegs, feeling very uncomfortable. “It's just... My dad is cheating on my mom. That’s a lot to absorb. They always seem so happy together.”
“Yeah, I guess. But your mom always seemed cool with it.” She shrugged and sipped at her drink. “Like I said, they haven’t exactly been stealthy about it. Mom always said yours was fine with it, and your mom has always been pretty cool to me.”
That last fact surprised me a bit. I would have figured Dad’s kid from an illicit affair would cause plenty of tension. Though there was the fact that both of my parents were patrons of Vinyl. Perhaps Mom was the type of mare that, at the very least, could give Vinyl a break over something that was beyond her control. It hadn’t been Vinyl’s choice who her parents were, after all.
I took one of the couch pillows and hugged it to my barrel. “How can my mom be okay with this happening?”
Vinyl swirled her can as she thought the question over. “Who knows? Maybe she’s got something going on too.”
I rubbed at the sides of my head, the stress of everything now really getting to me. “And your mom is okay with ... being a mare on the side?”
I shook my head. “I really don't understand it. It’s so much to digest.” How could everypony seem fine with this situation? Wasn’t this inherently wrong? What should I even do about it?
Vinyl made her way over to the couch and sat down next to me. “Hey, you get used to it. It ain’t the end of the world. Trust me. If they’re happy with what they got, then who cares what everypony else thinks?”
I stared down at the floor, not wanting to meet Vinyl’s gaze. “I’m not sure I’m happy with it.”
“Maybe you should talk with your folks ‘bout it then?” She put a hoof on my shoulder and squeezed it. “They’re good parents, and I know they love you to death. I’m sure they’d be willing to talk to you about all of this.”
“That seems like the next rational step,” I agreed. Not like I would be able to sit on these facts without going crazy anyways. This was too big for that. It was how I viewed my parents on a fundamental level, and I at least owed it to my parents to explain everything.
The topic of my parents seemed to have been tapped out for the moment, and I decided to change the subject. “So, you’re my half-sister.”
“And you're mine.” Vinyl gave me a friendly poke to the shoulder. “Crazy, huh?”
“That's one way to put it.” A cautious smile crept its way onto my lips. “This wasn't exactly a conversation I was planning on having in my life. I thought all my siblings were accounted for, but now I have a sister I had no idea even existed until a few days ago.”
“I'm not exactly a sister.” She did a neutral shrug. “I mean, aside from biology. Just saying. I mean, you seem cool and all, but I just met you today.”
My ears wilted at that statement. That hurt more than a little bit. “That is true. I still feel awful about not knowing about you. It feels like I should have done something. Been a bit more observant, seen the signs, been smarter. Instead we have ... this.”
“Is what it is at this point,” Vinyl said sagely.
I squeezed at the couch pillow. “I guess I was hoping for a few more answers from meeting you than I'm getting. Instead, it's all as murky as before. If not more so in some ways.”
Vinyl leaned back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. “Why would I know more than you?”
“I guess I was hoping you might have worked your way through more of this than I have,” I admitted. “That I would somehow get an epiphany over seeing you and everything would start getting resolved somehow. I guess that was a bit too hopeful on my end.”
“Sorry, no epiphany.” Vinyl shot me an amused smirk. “I'm just a DJ.”
I gave her a sad smile in return. “I guess I shouldn't have expected to get a philosophical revelation from a DJ.”
“Hey!” She shot forward to fix me with a scowl. “I can totally be deep and philosophical!”
I couldn’t help but make an amused snort. “Can you? I can't see going to a concert with electronic music doing—whatever it is you do, and getting some kind of profound impact from it.” I gave her a teasing grin. “Other than getting hit with the sheer volume of the music anyways.”
“Hey, respect the tunes!” she said, teasingly poking me in the ribs.
“Oh, I respect them.” I rubbed at one of my ears. “My ears are still ringing from the noise.”
“Maybe you should wear earplugs next time? That’s what I do,” Vinyl said, grinning. “I thought you were supposed to be the smart one?”
“I used a sound muffling spell, thank you very much,” I said primly. The two of us let the friendly atmosphere between us stay there for a few seconds before I switched back to a more serious tone. “So, where should we go from here?”
“Dunno.” The DJ settled back against the couch. “You seem cool, though.”
“You seem alright too.” I thought the matter over for a moment. “Perhaps we could see each other now and again? Maybe write each other? And as much as my hearing may hate me for it, come to some of your concerts? We haven’t exactly been sisters to one another, but that doesn’t mean we can’t try now. I’m not going to pretend that a single talk is going to make everything alright, but if being a sister is anything like being a friend, then I know it’s something worth working at.”
“Sounds like a cool idea to me.” Vinyl offered a hoof bump. “I think I’d like having a sister.”
“Yeah, think I would too.” I bumped the hoof, feeling like I had at least gotten this right.
“Why didn't you tell me I had a sister?!” I demanded as I stomped my way into the manor study. Not exactly the most subtle way to start a conversation, but screw subtle. I wanted answers, and I wanted them now.
Dad blinked at me. “Twilight?”
“You know who I'm talking about!” I stomped a hoof on the study rug. “Vinyl Scratch, my half-sister. The one you had with your secretary, Dad.”
Sighing, Mom put aside the book she had been reading. “You should've known this was coming, Night.”
“Yes.” Dad took a long break before speaking again. “We were planning on telling you eventually.”
I snorted derisively. “Oh? When? I hope you weren't planning on some sort of deathbed confession like in some silly play.”
“Calm down, dear,” Mom said in a soothing tone. “I know you're upset, but losing your temper won't make this any easier.”
“Well how am I supposed to act in a situation like this!?” I paced in front of the low table and couch my parents were sitting on. “There isn't exactly a book outlining this type of thing! At least I don’t remember there being a book with a title like So Your Dad Is Having An Affair: How to Deal With It In 20 Simple Steps.”
“I'm sure you have plenty of questions for us.” Dad pushed himself off the couch and made his way over to the study liquor cabinet. “Why don't you take a seat, have something to drink, and we'll answer them one by one.” Grabbing a few glasses and a bottle of wine, he poured them.
“I-I don't know if I can.” I kept pacing, feeling so flustered that my hooves moved with their own energy. “I'm not sure if I even can sit down right now.”
“Sit down, dear,” Mom said with the gentle authority only a mother could bring to bear. That tone hit something primal within me, and I found myself sitting down on a cushion, though it felt like I was about to leap back out of it at any second.
Dad placed one of the wine glasses in front of me before returning to the couch with glasses for himself and Mom. “Now, to answer your first question, we were waiting for the right time to discuss it. The problem is that, with how much time you spent in the castle with the princess, your studies, our own work, and then you moving to Ponyville...”
“We put it off longer than we should've,” Mom finished.
“This seems like the type of thing to get taken care of instead of delaying.” I drank from my glass, forcing back a cough. I wasn’t exactly used to alcoholic drinks, even if the wine had been watered down.
“I agree.” Mom fidgeted with her own glass before taking a sip from it. “We have no excuse for letting it wait this long. It just ... never seemed like the right time to bring it up. You were always so busy, then you seemed to be enjoying your time with your new friends, and we didn't want to spoil what time we did get to spend with you.”
My eyes drifted down to the floor, unable to look at my parents. “So you kept putting it off?”
“Yes, we did.” Mom sighed and rubbed her temple. “We kept telling ourselves that now wasn't the right time, and before we knew it you were an adult. You had moved out, made a life for yourself; saved the world and everything,”
“You want to know how I found out?” I couldn’t help but put condemnation in my tone. “I found out from some pony I met in Ponyville who said Vinyl looked exactly like a female Shining. Then she talked about all the rumors surrounding you two, and what ponies have been saying about you and Vinyl.”
Dad winced at that. “I’m sorry that’s how you learned the truth. That is not how we would've preferred for you to have learned the truth.”
“That makes three of us,” I said bitterly. While I would say my talk with Vinyl went about as well as I could have reasonably expected, it still stung that I had found out about my half-sister through other ponies.
“Yes, quite.” Dad refilled my glass, and I had to wonder when it had gotten so close to empty? Had it not been full to start with? Whatever, there were more important things to worry about. “So, I suppose I should start from the beginning.” He refilled his own glass, not bothering to water it down. “Quill and I are ... very close.”
“That kind of goes without saying when you had a foal with her,” I said scathingly. To think that for all this time I never suspected that my father had been having relations with his secretary. Had Dad been good at hiding everything, or had I really been that blind? It was all so frustrating that I wanted to scream.
“Vinyl was...” Dad shuffled in his seat. “She was not something we planned. I'm still happy to have her, of course. She’s a bright and energetic young mare who is living her dream, and I’m proud of her. And I like to think I've been good to her, within the limits of my position.” Dad drank some wine, and I got the sense he was thinking about something. “I wish I could be a proper father to her, but Quill and I have to maintain appearances. If I came out and revealed that I was Vinyl’s father, it would hurt all of us. The newspapers would have a field day. Quill might be forced to resign, and Vinyl would be the subject of a media circus.” He shook his head. “I couldn’t do that to them.”
I mulled over my glass as I thought that over. Putting aside my Dad’s relationship with Quill Scratch, what was the correct action for his situation? Keep on living a lie, protecting yourself, or tell the truth and hurt those you cared about? “So, Vinyl’s your ... other daughter?”
Dad nodded. “In a manner of speaking, yes. We have lunch now and again, not too hard to do with Quill working for me. And I make sure she’s well provided for. It’s more at a distance than I like, but we all make it work.”
After a quick sip, I asked, “How long has this been going on? I mean, Quill has been your assistant for...” I tried to think of a time when Quill hadn’t been working for Dad in some capacity, and near as I could remember, she had been by Dad’s side at least as long as I had been around. “Decades,” I settled on.
Dad brooded for so long over his drink I was worried for a few moments that he wasn’t even going to say anything. “Yes, that’s right. We met soon after I got my first job in the Canterlot Park Bureau.” A slight smile worked its way to his lips. “She, a pretty young mare pushing papers around. Me, a young noble trying to get noticed by his superiors for good work.” He blinked, seemingly realizing who his audience was and cleared his throat. “Anyways, yes, we’ve known each other for a long time. Before I met your mother, even.” He put a hoof on Mom’s and gave her a loving smile. “Not that I don’t love her very much.”
Now there was a detail that caught my attention. “Wait, you’ve been doing—that with Quill for longer than you’ve known Mom?” I had to wonder how many dynamics to this relationship I didn’t have a grasp on yet.
Dad nodded. “Yes, I became romantically involved about, oh, two to three years before I met your mother.” He chuckled to himself. “Quill has been my partner in more than one way after she started working as my administrative assistant, and she’s an invaluable part of my life. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love your mom very much too. I love both of the mares in my life, and couldn’t imagine it without it without them.”
That information put everything into a new light. Was it technically cheating when it was a situation like this? How exactly did you define a relationship that was built up like this? What was right and wrong?
“Mom, what do you think about Dad ... doing this?” I shook my head. Part of me could hardly believe that I was talking to my parents like this. I couldn’t think of a time that I’d ever confronted or even had a real argument with my parents. The whole world seemed to be spinning. For lack of a better plan, I drank some more of the wine to steady my nerves. At least I hoped it would. Everypony always said drinking alcoholic beverages helped, at least in moderation, but I didn’t know for sure.
Mom frowned, and I could sense her discomfort as she firmly put her glass down on the coffee table. “I knew the kind of stallion your father was when I married him.” She placed a hoof on Dad’s shoulder. “He's been good to me, and our children. And...” Mom’s cheeks flushed faintly. “It's ... not entirely one-sided.”
I felt something in my guts sink. Were my parents keeping other secrets? “W-what do you mean?”
Mom was silent for a time, probably thinking how best to put her words. Downing her drink, she then took a long breath before speaking. “You do remember that time you walked in on Magetrix and I ... erm ... I believe the excuse we used was that I had something in my eye?”
“Err.” I scratched at the top of my head, trying to recall the specific incident. “Vaguely. Was that when we were on vacation at Neighagara Falls? No, you two said something about it being too cold that night to sleep alone. Maybe you’re talking about that other... time...” My eyes widened as what my mother was trying to get across hit me.
Mom gripped Dad’s hoof and squeezed it. “Yes.”
A long silence stood between us until Dad finally broke it. “You see, Twilight, your mother and I have an understanding in our marriage. One that allows us to enjoy the company of others without violating the terms of our agreement.” He nuzzled Mom, comforting her. “It doesn't mean we don't love each other, and I do love my Velvet deeply, and it certainly doesn't mean we don't love our children. We just ... have other ponies we care for. Ponies we knew before we even met each other.”
I was utterly stunned by this news. Both of my parents had been conducting illicit affairs, and it was something they accepted, agreed upon. I didn’t even know how to respond to that. The worldview I had of my parents was being turned upside down. “My tutor!?” I finally managed to say. I tipped back my glass in a shaky grasp and emptied my drink, coughing when it stung my throat on the way down. That was something I really wasn’t used to doing, and I felt it.
“We were partners in the Magus Corps,” Mom said calmly “We came to be friends and lovers. I've known her longer than I've known your father.”
“So you two have been ... doing ... this ever since you met each other?” I offered my glass to be filled again, it being empty again.
Dad filled my glass up. “Yes. It's been a very happy, stable, loving relationship.”
Mom nuzzled her husband. “If a bit unconventional. Especially by Canterlot standards. But it has stood the test of time.”
I covered my face with my hooves. “I just can't believe this. It’s so ... bizarre.”
Moving over to sit by me, Mom put a hoof on my shoulder. “Everything is fine, dear. I know this is a lot for you to digest, but we’re all happy. Trust us. None of this changes anything. We are still your parents, and we still care for each other and for you.”
I clutched a pillow closely to my chest. “I never knew anything about any of this! The fact you didn’t tell me about this tells me something is wrong. I don't even know what to make of all this. Dad's sleeping with his secretary. Mom's sleeping with my old tutor. I have a half-sister.” I shook my head. “Is there anything else I should know about while we’re at it?”
Mom cast her eyes away from me and towards the floor. “There is one other thing, but perhaps it would be best if we give you a little time to absorb all of this. You've already had a lot to take in, and I don't want to overwhelm you. It’s late, and we’ve all had a little bit to drink, and it can wait until the morning.”
I shook my head. “At this point I think you might as well lay it on me. I don't think I could get any more overwhelmed than I already am.”
My parents exchanged a look between them. Something seemed to pass between them before Dad gave Mom a nod. “Alright then, ” Mom said, taking a deep breath. She turned to face me squarely, grasping one of my hooves. “Twilight, Amethyst isn't dead, I gave her up for adoption.”
I just stared at my parents, not quite understanding what I had heard.
“Twilight?” Mom asked, sounding worried.
I downed my drink, needing something to jumpstart my brain, and the wine burning down my throat worked in a pinch. “I'm sorry, could you run that by me again? Because what I just heard didn't make sense.”
Mom’s ears wilted. “Amethyst ... was not your father's child. We didn't realize that until she was born, and by that point it was too late to keep things quiet. Your father and I were weeks away from securing the Viziership, but a scandal would've destroyed everything we'd worked for. So we made a choice. One I'm not proud of, and one I wish I could take back.”
A storm of emotions ran through me—disbelief, anger, confusion, pain. All this time I had believed my sister had been stillborn, and it had been a lie. What the hay were my parents thinking? “S-she was my sister! You lied to me! Lied to me, gave up my sister over ... politics!?”
My parents didn’t answer me. Mom couldn’t even look at me, probably too ashamed by the horrid thing she had done. Dad, Dad had the audacity to try and comfort her as he drew her into a hug.
I poured myself another glass. After what I had just heard, I needed it. “W-where is she? I want to see her.” My little sister was out there somewhere. The sister I had thought dead for all these years. Everything was moving so quickly, but meeting my long lost sister was something rock-solid I could grasp onto in this storm.
Mom’s eyes did not come up from the floor. “We don't know. We arranged for a nice old mare who'd always wanted a child to take care of her, a foster home. We even gave her enough money to make sure that Amethyst would be well taken care of. But after her caretaker died...”
It was simple enough to figure out the implications of the words left unsaid. “How could you just lose track of her!? She’s your daughter!”
My words caused Mom to flinch. “I'm not all-knowing, Twilight.”
“And there was only so much we could do to look for her without arousing suspicion,” Dad said.
Mom leaned against Dad for support. “I’d made a mistake, I knew that as soon as I gave her up. And it’s a mistake I’ll probably never forgive myself for. I’m not asking you to forgive me, honey, and I understand if you want to be mad. You have every right to be.”
I was so furious I could barely concentrate on maintaining my telekinesis over my glass. “So, was this another one of those things you intended on telling me ‘someday’?”
Mom gave me an ashamed nod.
“I don't believe this. I don't believe you would do something like this. This is absolutely horrible.” I sipped from my cup, finding it nearly empty again. What was that? Three, three and a half glasses? I had lost track during the conversation.
“We were much younger, and less wise,” Mom said. “Every day, I wish I could take it back.” Her shoulders slumped, my Mom looking far older and wearier than I had ever seen her. “But I can't... All I can do is hope that wherever she is, she's happy.”
“I hope so too.” My throat tightened, and I had to fight back the tears welling up.
Mom moved to hug me, but I held up my hooves to stop her. I couldn’t accept her embracing me. Not after what she had told me. My rejection was apparently the last straw for my mom, for tears started rolling down her face.
Endless night, the sight of my mom crying caused me to lose my own control, and my own eyes began stinging with tears. “I'm not sure I really know you two anymore. Not after learning about all of this.”
Mom flinched as though I had slapped her and pushed her face into Dad’s shoulder, sobbing.
Dad held her, stroking her mane as he spoke to me. “Twilight, we're still your parents. That hasn't changed, and it never will.”
“Right, and great parents you two have been. I've had two sisters out there I didn't even know about because you two couldn’t be bothered to tell me until I confronted you about it.” I covered my face, unable to even look at my parents. My words slurred out of my mouth, without any thought put into them. “Well, Shining might have an illegitimate child too, so I guess you set a great example for both of us.”
Dad jaw opened and closed, but it took a few moments for him to say anything comprehensible. “What? Wait, hold on there.”
“No!” I stood up, the sudden movement causing the world to jerk for a second, but I got my hooves under me. “I’m going! I-I need space right now.”
Mom reached out a hoof to me. “Twilight, please don't go. We need to—”
I didn’t wait for her to finish as I teleported out of the manor.
There was no plan when I left Sparkle Manor. All I had was an overwhelming need to leave that place and put some distance between me and my parents. Something in my brain must have had an idea of what it was doing, because before I knew it, I found myself in front of the palace. Figures, there weren’t exactly a lot of places I could just up and run to. Heading to the palace and seeing Princess Celestia was as good as it got. A talk with somepony who might be able to figure out how to deal with everything that had been tossed on top of me sounded really nice.
I walked into the palace; none of the guards stopped me, as usual. I pretty much had unrestricted access to get into the palace due to being the princess’s personal student. Though as I started wandering the palace halls, I realized that my half-baked plan probably wasn’t such a great idea. It had been a really long day already. Well, it was night now. Anyways, I was far from looking at my best now, which wouldn’t be suitable for seeing the princess.
Then there was the fact that I’d had a fair bit of wine back at the manor while talking with my parents. I was pretty sure I was at least tipsy now, something that had probably been exacerbated by how tired I now felt from the long day and run to the palace.
Oh no, I couldn’t go see Princess Celestia while drunk! What would she think of me if she saw that I was intoxicated? Upon reflection, I had probably drunk enough to be breaking the law. I didn’t want to go to jail for being drunk! That would go on my record, and then my family and Princess Celestia would find out! It would be in the newspapers and everything! Then the princess would have to throw me in jail again to show she didn’t grant exemptions even to her personal students!
I needed to get out of the palace! I didn’t know where, but someplace else.
I turned to flee, but, as was my luck this day, I hit something solid and stumbled back. I looked up to see Princess Celestia looking down at me. Of course I would run into the princess like this. Why wouldn’t the universe decide to kick me while I was down? Not like it hadn’t in the past.
Princess Celestia smiled down at me. “Hello, Twilight. I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight.”
I bowed quickly to her, though the motion felt klutzy. Probably due to the wine I drank. “I'm so sorry!” I blurted out, my words sounding slightly slurred. “I didn't mean to bother you! I'll go. Just a dumb idea to come here. I wasn't thinking. Sorry!”
One of her eyebrows rose in a dignified manner. “Is everything alright, Twilight?”
“No! Yes! Yes in some, no in others! It's complicated.” I let out a nervous chuckle, because I didn’t sound guilty enough, apparently. Of course, my mouth kept running as I tried to reassure the princess. “I'll take care of it, really. No need to throw me into a dungeon for all of eternity, or bring one of Equestria's diarchs into a little family argument that made me panic and run here without thinking because I had a few glasses to drink. Because I wasn't thinking about how much I had to drink, because I was arguing with my parents, you see. And I'm just not used to arguing with my parents and haven't read any books on that. So I wasn't really sure how to handle that. So I think I might have drank too much, but I don't want to be arrested and thrown into a dungeon or banished to the moon because I was having an argument and drank too much!”
“Calm down, Twilight,” Princess Celestia said with gentle patience. “I am not going to banish or imprison you.”
“That doesn't mean you're going to banish and imprison me, are you!?” My breaths started coming quick and shallow.
“No, Twilight,” the princess said firmly. She put a hoof on my shoulder, and I felt my breathing start to slow. Her calm strength of her presence washed over me and gave me a reassurance that everything was going to be okay. “Twilight, is there something you would like to talk about?”
“Well, that depends on how you define 'want'.” Princess Celestia gave me a warm, understanding smile that encouraged me to keep speaking. “It's complicated.” I rubbed my foreleg, feeling vulnerable under her stare, no matter how caring and understanding she looked. “I don't want to bother you with it. I just ran here in a panic. I wasn't thinking.”
“Twilight, if something is troubling you, then the best way to bother me is to not let me help you.” She wrapped a wing around me and gently pulled me along. “Come, let's talk in my quarters.”
I couldn’t really argue with her logic. I knew that if any of my friends were really bothered by something I would want them to talk to me about it, not just bottle it up and stonewall me. “I-If it's really okay...”
“I have already said that it is, Twilight.” Princess Celestia led me down the hallway to her private quarters. “Now, you said you've been drinking?” She gave me a critical look. “You don't seem impaired enough to need an inhibitor ring, and you'll be safe with me.”
“Okay.” My ears drooped back against my head. “I didn't mean to drink so much. One watered down glass became two, and then I think I had a third or fourth.” My head slumped. “I normally have a lot more control than this.”
“I know,” she said. “It sounds like you've been through a very difficult day.”
“That's putting it mildly,” I said grumpily.
We arrived at the princess’ private quarters. She opened the door and ushered me in. Her rooms weren’t as richly decorated with gems and gold as some ponies might expect. Knowing from personal experience, the furniture was of a high quality and made for comfort instead of extravagance. The princess didn’t really feel the need to impress ponies who visited her private sanctum.
Princess Celestia led me to a very large cushion at the center of her living room. She sat on it and patted a spot next to her for me to sit. “Tell me about it. It will make you feel better.”
I sat next to her. Being with her always made me more comfortable, even if the topic of this conversation didn’t. “I'm not sure where to even start. It's all so big, and troubling, and complex, I'm not sure quite where it starts and ends.”
“Then start at the beginning,” she offered. “I believe you mentioned a disagreement with your parents?”
I shuffled in my seat, now profoundly uncomfortable. I did need to talk to somepony about my problems. Who better than my teacher and mentor? “Yeah, I did. It was about a couple of things. Have you heard ... of the rumors surrounding my parents?”
“I'm aware of their lifestyle, if that is what you mean,” Princess Celestia confirmed.
That answer made me swallow nervously. Had I really been the last one in Canterlot to know the truth? “So you know about Dad and Quill, and Mom and Magetrix?”
“I do.” She wrapped a wing around me to give me support. “Is that why you are upset with them?”
“That's only the start of it.” I took a couple of seconds to form my thoughts. “I had no idea they were doing that, for all these years, right under my nose. It really hurt. And I feel stupid for not seeing something that should have been obvious. Thinking back, I don’t think they were even trying that hard to hide it from me.”
“You feel betrayed by the deception, even if it was an unintentional one. That is understandable.” The princess gave me a serious look. “But you cannot expect to see and know everything, Twilight. You were a very busy, very studious filly who believed certain things about her parents. It’s not surprising you missed a few things.”
“But I should have seen this.” I punched one of the cushion pillows out of frustration. It wasn’t very mature, but better some object than an actual pony or something that might break. “They're my parents. Stars and Moon, I caught Mom and my tutor in bed with each other a couple times, and I still didn’t realize something might be wrong!”
“Oh dear.” She squeezed me with her wing. “That must have been awkward.”
“Probably for them, but I didn't think anything of it.” I suddenly felt very weary and slowly lowered myself to lie on the cushion. “Because I couldn't imagine my parents doing something like that. My parents always seemed so happy together, and faithful, and what I thought of for a nice, stable couple.”
“Ah.” Princess Celestia nodded. “It must be upsetting, to have your image of them so badly shaken. But I hope you know that they still care very much about you. I know for a fact that they think the world of you and are very proud of you.”
I felt myself stiffen at that comment. “Yeah, I guess.”
The barest frown of disapproval creased her lips. “You guess?”
I shook my head. “Okay, yes, I know. I'm just not happy right now. Which only makes everything worse. They’re still my parents. I know they love me. Which only makes everything more confusing and aggravating.” I pressed my face into one of the pillows and groaned into it.
“Because even though you love them and they love you, you are quite upset with them right now.” She laid down next to me to better comfort me. “They violated your trust, and you feel hurt by it.”
“Yeah.” I rubbed at my foreleg. “I'm not used to this. I mean sure, I was never happy when they punished me for doing something bad, or didn’t let me stay up to read a book. But this feels completely different. I didn't even find out about this on my own. Another pony in Ponyville told me; said that she knew a pony who looked just like Shiny.”
“Oh.” She wrapped a leg around me for a hug. “They should have told you.”
“Should have, but didn't.” My eyes started stinging as tears began to form. “I had no idea I had a half-sister out there.”
Princess Celestia gently shushed me as she held onto me. “It's alright to cry, Twilight. You’re hurting right now, and that’s perfectly understandable. And I’m here for you.”
I buried my face into her coat, staining it with my tears. “That's not even the worst of it.”
“Oh dear.” There was a moment where she didn’t speak. Then she let out a resigned sigh. “They told you about Amethyst, didn't they?”
I blinked, and the shock of what the princess had said stopped my tears. “You knew!?” Was everypony I trusted and loved keeping secrets and lying to me? It seemed like everywhere I turned there were more ponies betraying me. I thought that of all the ponies I could trust, it would be Princess Celestia, but even she had helped keep my parents’ secrets. She had to know what these types of things would mean to me. Why—why would she do this to me?
“Yes, I knew” she said with a gentle firmness.
I lay there slackjawed, unable to believe that my teacher had known this entire time and hadn’t told me. “W-why didn't you tell me!? Why didn't anypony tell me!? She's my sister!”
With a long sigh, Princess Celestia looked away from me and stared off at nothing. “The last time I became too involved in my student's personal life, it ended very badly. It’s always a delicate balance deciding where I should and shouldn’t interfere. I believe that my little ponies must make some decisions for themselves. Unfortunately, sometimes that means I need to allow them to make mistakes. Occasionally, grievous ones. I am sorry that my decision, and your parents’, caused you so much pain, Twilight.”
I wrapped my forelegs around a pillow trying to find some sort of comfort in a world gone mad. “All this time. All this time...”
The princess tipped my chin up to look at her. “Twilight, please listen to me. I promise you that Amethyst is very happy right now. She has a nice home, friends, and a family who love her very much.”
The full implications of her words pressed down on me, and my eyes widened. “Where is she? I want to see her.” If my teacher knew that much about her, then surely she knew where Amethyst was. I could see my sister and make everything better! Somehow!
“I don't think that would be a very good idea right now.” She gently patted my foreleg. “You're still very upset and emotional.”
“S-so?” I stood up, ready to go right then and there. “She's my sister. She’s out there and alive, and I never knew it. How can I not go see her?”
Princess Celestia spoke in a soothing tone. “I know. I just think you shouldn't meet her for the first time while highly emotional and, if you'll forgive me for saying so, rather tipsy. And it’s already been a long night for you. When you see your sister, it should be when you’re ready for it. She deserves to have you be at your best when you talk to her about everything.”
I glanced into a nearby mirror and got a look at my disheveled mane. My run through Canterlot must really have done a number of me. “Oh...” I sat down, defeated. “It wouldn't look good for me to arrive at her home in the middle of the night looking like this, would it?”
“No, it wouldn't.” She gingerly pressed down on my shoulders. “I think you can afford to wait until you can make a good impression.”
“So tomorrow then,” I said.
“When you’re ready,” Princess Celestia said more firmly in the tone she gave government officials when she wanted something done at a specific time.
I frowned. “Are you saying I'm not going to be ready tomorrow?”
“I don't know,” she said neutrally. “Will you be ready, or will you still be extremely upset at your parents and your family situation in general?”
I dropped my head down to the cushion, despondent. “I'll probably still be upset.”
My teacher nodded. “These sorts of events are not easily moved past.”
“No, they aren't,” I admitted. “I can hardly even think straight right now.” Not to mention my head still swam a bit from drinking. I was never going to do that again.
“Which is no state to meet your sister in.” The princess levitated over a piece of paper and jotted down something onto it. From there, she slid it into an envelope and then held it before me. “I trust your judgment, Twilight. Open it when the time is right.”
I carefully took the envelope and stared at it. There it was, all the information that I would need to find my sister. Everything I would need to set everything right. “How will I know when the time is right?”
She gave me a knowing smile. “Trust your heart and mind, Twilight. They have always served you well.”
“Okay...” Sometimes I wondered if there was ever a point in asking ancient beings of great knowledge and power for a straight answer. It’s like there’s some cosmic rule against being directly helpful. “Ugh! I came to Canterlot to relax, and now this!”
“I am sorry, Twilight,” Princess Celestia said. “You're welcome to stay at the palace for a few days, if you need to. Your old room is just how you left it.”
“Thanks.” I rubbed my muzzle against hers. “I don't think I'm going to be ready to see my parents again for a while.”
She returned the nuzzle, but I detected a hint of hesitation in it. “Twilight, don't use me to hide from confronting your parents. They’ve made their mistakes, but I don’t think it would be wise for you to try and cut them out of your life. It wouldn’t make anypony happy.”
“What should I do?” I sighed and put the envelope down next to me. “Run right back to the manor to yell at them some more? Sorry, but I think I’ve had enough of that for one night.”
“Of course not,” my teacher said. “But don't let things go too long. They're still your family, and they love you very much. I don't want you to—” She cut herself off, the thought suddenly ending.
“To what?” I asked.
The princess let out a deep breath. She had a look about her that I had rarely seen in the ruler of Equestria. She seemed haunted, with weariness that was bone deep finally showing itself. “I just don't want things between you and your family to remain troubled for too long. These things have a way of festering over time, creating nothing but pain.”
“You’re probably right.” I looked down, playing with the envelope. “I think I'm just going to need some space from them. Give myself some time to think things over.” With how emotionally drained I was, it felt like I could have slept for a half a week and still feel tired.
“Understandable,” the princess said. “I’m sure you will do the right thing. I believe in you.”
“Thanks.” The stress of the whole situation was building up to the point where I had to remind myself not to accidentally rip the envelope. “Is anything my parents did really okay?”
“What they do in their romantic lives?” She nodded “Yes. But deceiving you about it was not.”
“What am I supposed to think about it all, then?” Of the things I had heard about thus far today, my parents’ romantic lives were probably the easiest to swallow, though it was still a lot to take in.
Spreading a wing across my back, she said, “That is something you will have to decide for yourself.”
“Of course,” I grumbled. “It's just that it’s all so much more complex than I originally realized. Every conversation just seems to reveal another layer to the onion.”
“Life is usually like that,” Princess Celestia said. “If anything, life is good at throwing the unexpected at us.”
Silence lay between us for a time. That let me think about my argument with my parents and what we had said to each other. “I said at least one thing I probably shouldn't have,” I said, finally breaking the silence.
“Ponies usually do when they're upset,” she assured me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Reluctantly, I nodded. “I told them that they were such 'great' examples for Shiny that he might have had his own illegitimate child. I really don't know for sure. It's probably not true. But I was just so angry at them...”
“That you wanted to say something to hurt them as much as you were hurt.” Princess Celestia didn’t say it with outright disapproval, but rather with understanding. That only made me feel all the more guilty—that she could understand how fallible I had been.
“It was stupid of me,” I stated.
“But understandable.”
“No, it wasn't.” I stomped a hoof, the impact of it muffled by the cushion, making me feel all the more impotent in my frustration. “I hurt them just to hurt them. That isn't right.”
“Indeed, it isn't,” she said firmly. “But I said it was understandable. Not right.”
My head slumped. “And I'm going to have to explain myself sooner or later.” Part of me wanted to ask Princess Celestia if Shiny really was Dinky’s father, but something in me knew she would give some sort of vague answer like ‘you have it within you to figure it out’ or give me vague instructions on what to do.
My teacher nodded. “Yes, you will.”
I sighed frustratingly. “That's going to be fun. I swear, romance and sex can't be worth all this trouble.”
“Oh?” she asked.
“Look at all the trouble it's caused in my family,” I stated. “My parents deceived me, my brother might have a daughter he doesn't know about. Just everything.”
The princess considered that before saying, “Yet without it, you wouldn't exist.”
Okay, that was a fact that I couldn’t disagree with. Love, sex, and reproduction were pretty closely tied to one another. “I guess that's true.”
“Relationships are just another part of life, Twilight,” the princess said. “And often an important one. While they’re not for everypony, finding love has brought immeasurable happiness to others.”
“Sounded a lot simpler when I was just going to have an arranged marriage someday.” I lay my head down on the cushion, feeling like I could go to sleep right then and there. It would have felt good to put this awful night behind me.
Princess Celestia smiled with a touch of amusement. “Freedom to make your own choices can be rather frightening, can't it?”
I slowly nodded. “Little bit. I've never really thought about any of this before.”
“Never?” she asked.
“Not really, no.” I picked my head back up from the cushion. Falling asleep while having a conversation with the princess would have been exceptionally rude. “I thought my path was pretty well set where that was concerned. I mean, my parents reassure me that they will do everything to make sure I will be happy, but I’ve always grown up thinking that everything would be arranged for me. The idea I might have some choice in how I was going to decide on my love life...”
The princess nodded. “Ah. In that case, it would be rather frightening. Going from a certain future to an uncertain one would cause most ponies to feel trepidation. Especially as one learns new things.”
“No kidding. I mean there is this mare in Ponyville who...” I felt myself blushing as memories of Cloud Kicker rushed forward. “Nevermind. I don’t want to bother you about it.”
She gave me a reassuring smile. “You can tell me, Twilight. You know I’ve always been willing to listen to anything you’ve wanted to talk to me about. I'm your teacher. I like to think I'm also your friend. If something's bothering you, I care.”
I found myself wringing my forehooves. This was not a topic I particularly wanted to discuss. “Her name is Cloud Kicker. She is different from what I'm used to.”
“Oh yes, Cloud Kicker,” Princess Celestia said.
I tilted my head. “You know her?”
“I know all of my little ponies,” she said beatifically.
Right, another example of the princess’s mysterious powers. It was something of no small interest to academics, though Her Highness had always managed to keep it a secret, at least as far as I know. My family’s personal archive had more than a few writings involving suppositions on the nature and limits of her abilities. Though it was mostly guesswork from private recollections, and what ponies that had worked closely with her had observed.
“So you know what she is like?” I asked.
“Yes, I do.”
“So I don't really understand her.” I let out a long, frustrated sigh. “She's so upfront and provocative about sex, and I've barely given it a thought. And that’s just one difference between us, if a big one.”
“Everypony is different, Twilight,” said Princess Celestia, taking on a tone typical for when she taught her lessons.
“I know that.” I gathered my thoughts to put my feelings into words. “But something about her bothers me. At first I thought it was just because she can be pretty crass, but now... I don't know.”
“You're less certain?” she asked.
I nodded, the familiar cadence of her lessons reassuring me. “Sometimes she seems intelligent, but then other times she does something stupid. I've heard ponies say there's more to her than having sex, but it seems to be a predominant part of her life, so I don't know what to think.”
The princess gave me one of those long, impenetrable stares of hers before asking, “You are an intelligent pony, right? One who loves books and studying?”
“That seems accurate,” I allowed.
The corner of her mouth quirked with a smile. “Does that mean you never do anything stupid, and that books are the only thing in your life?”
“I've made a few mistakes in the past.” The incident with the want it, need it spell came to mind all too clearly. “But I do like to think I'm a more rounded pony since coming to Ponyville and making my friends there...”
“That you are.” Princess Celestia gently squeezed me with her wing. “And I’m very proud of your success thus far.”
Her praise caused me to smile. Her approval could keep me going through anything, I thought. Though I needed to keep myself from going off track, as much as I would have liked to bask in her praise. “I guess I've been trying to figure out what to do with her. I could either just finish up the project and turn it in as quickly as I can, or trying keep at it and really try to get Cloud Kicker.”
“She weighs heavily on your mind, then?” she asked.
“Little bit, since I have this project on my plate,” I said. “You know I have trouble just giving up on something. I've been trying to do this sociology project on her, but it feels like it’s been giving me nothing but trouble. There are a bunch of questions I’m having trouble answering, and Cloud is an enigma to me.”
“Ah.” The princess’s gaze turned to one of her living quarter’s windows, though I couldn’t tell what she might be looking at other than the night sky. “She is a very different pony from you.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” I scoffed.
“Then I think this will be a valuable learning experience.” Princess Celestia grinned at the confused look I gave her. “For you, understanding many different kinds of ponies is worthwhile. I have tasked you with learning about friendship, and while I don’t expect you to make friends with everypony you meet, at least understanding them is a worthwhile venture, even if you might initially find unsavory.”
“So you want me to keep learning about her?” I asked.
“Do you think there is more to learn?”
That was one important question, and one I had to be honest with Her Highness over. “Given I still don't really understand her...”
“Then there is still more to learn.” She smiled and prodded my shoulder. “Do not be glum. I think part of your problem is that you aren’t approaching this like you do most of your assignments. Remember, you have more than a little bit of say in how this project goes. Treat it as an opportunity to learn rather than a chore, like you do with most of the assignments I give you.”
“I’ll try and do that.” I sighed. “At least she's promised to stop hitting on me. Though I know she'll be thinking about ... those types of things. Just seems to be who she is.”
“Everypony has their quirks.” Princess Celestia stood up from the cushion, stretching her wings. “For instance, just now I thought of chocolate cake. Shall we have some?”
I couldn’t help but smile. The princess’ love for cake was pretty well known. “That would be nice.” After everything I had gone through, some comfort food did sound really good.
Princess Celestia went to the door and spoke briefly with a servant waiting outside. Within a few minutes the servant returned with two slices of chocolate cake. Taking both of the plates, the princess rested one of the plates in front of me. “There, enjoy.”
“Thanks.” I took a piece with a fork. “Maybe this will make me feel a bit better.”
“Cake often has that effect.” We each took our time, enjoying each other’s company and the taste of the desert. “Do you feel better now?”
I finished chewing before replying. “I do, yeah. A little, anyways. Thanks for listening to me, by the way. This was a lot for me to dump on you.”
“Anytime, my faithful student,” she said. “You know you can talk to me about anything.”
I nuzzled her. “You're the best teacher ever.”
She returned my nuzzle with her own. “Thank you, Twilight. You have been a wonderful student.”
The compliment caused me to smile ear to ear. “Don't know what I would do without you. I mean you're just so wonderful, and perfect...” I felt my face start to flush. It felt really nice being warm under her wing. It was moments like this that made me feel so lucky to be her student.
The princess smiled back. “You're too kind.”
“I don't think so. I mean...” My cheeks burned all the hotter as I thought about my teacher. “I did have little bit of a crush on you. A long time ago. Just a small one. Hardly worth mentioning. It was a dumb filly thing. Really.” I chuckled awkwardly, feeling like I really should stop talking. Shame the words kept rolling out of my mouth, seemingly of their own accord. “I mean it would be dumb, right? Surely I couldn't be the first pony to have feelings towards a mare who defines beauty for so many ponies. Even though I should be over something as silly as thinking anything could ever happen between us, because that would be silly. Fillyhood crushes are silly, right? And dumb, because you're the princess of Equestria and I'm just some unicorn who should know better. I'm sure any feelings I have are just a result of long term close contact, and may be a side effect of me denying any kind of sexual desires towards any other ponies due to thinking I have no real romantic prospects other than a list of suitors my parents will give me someday. So really, I'm just being silly right now and should probably really shut up!”
Giving me a concerned look. “Twilight...”
I chuckled again, feeling terribly embarrassed. “It's fine! Really! I've certainly never had serious romantic thoughts or fantasies about you that are wholly unrealistic and should never be acted upon! Because that would be monumentally stupid on my part! And improper, and stupid, and dumb. And I really wish I could shut up right now, but I think the wine has impaired my judgement and ability to shut up, but it's really hard for me not to say that I love you!” I covered my stupid, traitorous mouth. I really shouldn’t have uncovered it to start with.
“Twilight, I'm flattered that you feel that way about me, but...” She seemed to struggle with what to say. “I care deeply for you as my student. Nothing more.”
Her words crushed something in me. Objectively, I knew it had to be that way. She was the ruler of Equestria and an immortal alicorn. There was no way a relationship between us could work. For one thing, How could we ever be equal partners? Though if that was all true, why did it still hurt? “Right, of course. Like I said, I was being dumb. Please, forget it. It's just a stupid fillyhood crush!” I rubbed at one of my eyes.
“There is nothing stupid about loving another pony, Twilight,” my teacher said reassuringly. “I think your old foalsitter would tell you that love is always a beautiful thing. Even if in this particular case I cannot return you feelings, I am still touched you feel that way about me.”
“How can it be beautiful if it's unrequited!?” I stood up and hopped off the cushion. Everything was falling apart again, why did it have to feel like it was all coming apart at the seams? “All I'm doing is setting myself up to get hurt for nothing! Not to mention putting you into an awkward situation. That seems pretty stupid to me.”
The princess rose a hoof to bid me to stop. “Twilight, please...”
“Sorry! Sorry! I'll shut up!” I backed up towards the door, feeling the desperate need to flee. “I'll go. I'm sorry for this. This is all my fault. I should have known better than to bring this up. Especially after drinking, and yelling at my parents, and everything.”
“There is nothing to apologize for, Twilight.” Something flashed behind her eyes as she stared after me. “I suppose we should have had this talk a long time ago.”
“Nothing to talk about! Just me thinking something stupid!” I reached the door and fumbled with the doorknob. It was difficult to see with blurry vision. “One. Big. Misunderstanding. It won't happen again, I promise.”
“Twilight, please stay,” she said, desperation undermarking her words.
“What for? There isn't anything to talk about.” My chest felt too tight, just being there in front of my perfect and wonderful teacher was too much. “I'm just unloading a bunch of problems onto you that you don't really need to have dumped on you. I'm sure you have plenty of your own problems to worry about.” My eyes were so filled with tears that it was almost impossible for me to even see. “Don’t worry, I’m totally not crying because you turned down my dumb fillyhood crush exactly like you should have. I-I have something in my eye. Or it’s the wine. Probably both.”
“I still want to help you.” Princess Celestia gestured to the spot next to her, inviting me to sit. “Please, we need to talk about this.”
I woke up the next morning in the Palace Royal Library to a pounding in my head. I lifted my head up off the book that I had been resting on. I craned my head back slowly, wincing in pain when my neck popped. As I worked the soreness out of my limbs, I glanced back down at the book. Despite the thickness of The History of Agrarian and Industrial Equestrian Economics, it hadn’t proven to be a particularly good pillow. The position I had fallen asleep in didn’t feel especially good in the morning either.
Strange. I didn’t remember all-nighters leaving me feeling so drained back when I still lived in Canterlot. Mom might have had a point about how I wouldn’t be able to study throughout the night without consequences as I got older. What topic had brought me to the Royal Library to start with?
Oh right ... Mom.
I rubbed my crusty eyes as I remembered the events of the previous night. After what had been some of the most stressful hours of my life, I had sought solace in one of the few places I could think of to try and shut myself off from the world. Home was a no-go, and well, I didn’t have a very long list after that. At least not within Canterlot. Not when I didn't want to sneak back into the manor in the middle of the night in order to pick up Spike for a late night train ride.
Besides, books were safe. Books never hurt me. Books never lied to me about their marital fidelity or the fact that I didn’t have just one, but two half-sisters. Books had answers for life's questions and the nature of existence. Well, except for maybe philosophy. That subject had a nasty tendency of raising more questions than it actually answered. Stupid existentialism.
Looking at the pile of books I had stacked up the previous night, I noticed a pair of envelopes and a small bottle sitting next to where my head had been resting. I didn’t remember any of that being there when I had gone to sleep. Granted, I couldn’t remember much from the tail-end of last night after the emotional whiplash I’ve been through. The wine probably hadn’t helped. Picking up the envelopes, I noticed one of them had my name on it, and I instantly recognized Princess Celestia’s elegant writing.
Oh right. That whole business with the princess the previous night. I had to cover my face at the memory of embarrassing myself in front of Princess Celestia. That was exactly what I needed on top of everything else. Now she probably thought I was some stupid little filly with a dumb crush. She must have dropped them off in the middle of the night while I was asleep. I guessed she didn’t want to wake me while delivering them. Hopefully, that wasn’t a bad sign.
Not in a mood for trying to divine the contents of the letters, I opened the one with my name on it, guessing that must have been the one she wanted me to read first.
My Faithful Student,
I hope you are feeling better this morning than you were last night. In case you’re dealing with the after-effects of your drinking last night, I left a potion beside you to help with that.
That must have been the vial. Since I did indeed have a headache, I saw no reason to delay, and quickly downed its contents before I could properly taste it. Nevertheless, I still shuddered as the bitter substance ran over my tongue. Potions were never known for tasting good, but I can’t recall tasting anything more vile. Still, I could already feel it softening the pounding in my head. That done, I returned to the letter. It was probably a good sign that the princess had gone through this trouble to help me. Probably.
I also had the library closed for the day so the staff and visitors wouldn't disturb you. You likely are in need of rest after everything you have been through. Your room in the palace is also available to you should you require more sleep or wish to freshen up.
I felt my heart sink as I remembered how I had run out on the princess. Especially after how she had gone to such lengths to help me. Not to mention that it struck against my sensibilities to close the entire library just on my behalf. Just another problem to add to the pile, it would seem.
One of the reasons I have written this letter is to say I am sorry for any distress I may have caused you last night, especially after what had already been a long and troubling night for you. I am sorry if I came across as colder than I intended. The reason I was so firm in telling you that I see you as a student is because I didn’t want you to think that our relationship would become something more involved, as it were.
Over the centuries of my life, I have tried a number of methods to expressto ponies that I am not romantically interested in them, from gently letting them down to using humor or being as kind as possible. More than once, this led to somepony thinking that I was merely playing hard to get—that I needed further persuasion, or that some great feat could win my love. This type of thinking by those who have sought my heart has lead to more than one incident of heartbreak, misery, destitution, and grief, and it is not something I would like to repeat. Especially not with you. As I have come to discover over my long life, sometimes the only right answer to give somepony is a firm ‘no,’ even if it hurts both ponies involved.
My single greatest hope for you, as it always has been, is for you to be happy. It is why your letters from Ponyville have been no small joy in my life. As my student, you hold a special place in my heart, and one that is precious to me. I have seen you grow, learn, and surpass my greatest expectations, and it has been my pleasure to hold a special place in your life. Do not think I do not care for you, but my love for you is not a romantic thing. Nor should you think that my love for you is somehow less because of where I hold you within my heart. There are many types of love in the world, and all of them are wonderful and fulfilling in their own ways.
If your desire is to find a special somepony, a partner to hold near and dear to your heart, then I do not doubt you will find that pony someday and that it will be a wonderful thing. If that is not your desire, then I am sure you will find something else to make you happy. One of the things I have always admired about you is how you find goals and then strive to achieve them.
That all did make a certain sense. Ponies trying to woo Princess Celestia’s heart had come up more than once in the biography I had read. Many of them had not ended well. There had been the incident of Duke Foundry, an extremely wealthy, influential, and powerful pony in Equestria at the time, who had ended up impoverishing himself and his noble house in increasingly elaborate displays of affection to try and win the princess’s heart. In the end, he had left his house in such straits that the following generation had to disband the duchy to deal with the massive debt.
Then there had been Sir Gallant the Brave who had tried to get the princess’s attention by slaying increasingly dangerous monsters who menaced Equestria. At least, until he was eaten by the dragon Ember the Crystalline. Then there had been Blackfyre, who after being rejected had been driven to such a rage as to become a dangerous warlock. The rebellion she created was eventually put down, but it had been a messy affair to put it lightly. And those were just some of the more notable ones!
With a track record like that, it wasn’t exactly a surprise that Princess Celestia would want to put out any flames of passion somepony might have for her, and quickly. I know I wouldn’t want somepony to pursue me and wreck their life over it.
Which made my own crush on the princess seem all the more stupid. I really should have known better. Objectively, there were all sorts of reasons why it wouldn’t work. For one, she wasn’t interested in me like that, and I knew that deep down. The princess wasn’t looking for a special somepony and probably hadn’t for a long, long time, if ever.
Shame I can’t help what I feel.
I wiped at my eyes before continuing to read.
That brings me to my next point. I wish to reiterate that I still think it is a good idea for you to talk to your parents again about what you recently discovered, and soon. Wounds such as these have a tendency to fester if not treated in good time. Too many times have I seen parent and child quarrel with one another, only to realize too late that they should have reconciled. Please do not be like them, both for your own sake and those of your parents.
While your parents have made mistakes, and grievous ones at that, they are still good ponies at heart. Trust me when I say you will find no happiness in holding onto bitterness for the rest of your days. Your parents came seeking you at the palace tonight. They sincerely hoped to speak with you, but I turned them away, saying you had retired for the night and needed a bit of time to reflect on what had happened. I have done this to give you a reprieve and some time to recover, not to delay your meeting with your parents for a greater length of time.
Thus, I implore you to try and end the disharmony within your family. I do not doubt it will be difficult, but I know it will be for the best to resolve this.
I have also left the envelope with the information to find Amethyst when you are ready. I remind you, only do so when you are indeed ready, preferably after you have mended the bond with your parents. I think doing so would be best for you and your sister.
My ears wilted as I looked at the second envelope. In my haste to flee the royal quarters, I had forgotten the piece of paper that would let me find my long-lost sister. Had I really been so stupid and panicky last night? I must have in order to leave such a precious thing. Why did everything have to come down on me all at the same time?
If you wish to speak with me again, my door is open to you, as it always has been. If anything, I am sure you can trust your friends for some good advice should you need it. I believe in you and trust that you will do the right thing when the time comes.
With love,
Princess Celestia
I applied my face to the desk as I finished the letter and groaned. Great, that didn’t help with my guilt on top of everything else. The princess had always been pretty good at guilting me to do things I otherwise didn’t want to do. It was going to be hard to not talk to my parents eventually after reading that. Not that I was going to be running back to the manor right that minute. I really needed to get my head on straight before I could tackle that issue. Nor was I going to run off and look for my sister; I couldn’t argue with the princess’s logic that finding Amethyst was not a smart idea until I was absolutely sure I was ready for it.
Shame I was still left with the question of what to do next. My growling belly demanded to be satisfied, so that was one item to take care of. The last things I had eaten the previous night had been some nachos and cake, and my digestive system had long ago taken care of those. I was also feeling a bit grimy after everything, and that wouldn’t do. Though even after getting cleaned up and getting something to eat, I didn’t think I would be ready to talk with my parents again. I was just too frazzled and mad to do it.
I would. Soon. Probably. When I was ready. Which probably wouldn’t be too long. I didn’t want to disappoint the princess, after all. I could probably talk to them after I did some other things to help take my mind off talking to my parents. After I did enough things that didn’t involve them, I might be in the frame of mind to go back to the manor. Probably. Most likely. We would see.
Now that I thought about it, I did want to interview Cloud Kicker’s dad while I was in Canterlot, and now seemed to be as good a time as any. Then I could decide what to do. My schedule for my time in Canterlot was pretty much a wreck by this point anyways, so I might as well be productive while I was here.
I neatly tucked the princess’s letter back into its envelope and scooped up the envelope with Amethyst’s information. My course was now set.
After a shower at my room in the palace and some breakfast at a restaurant, I was ready to continue the work on my sociology project. To think, I had come to Canterlot in part to get some time away from dealing with Cloud Kicker. Now, I was using her family as an escape from my own. Fortune had odd ways of turning on a pony.
Thankfully, I had some spare studying supplies and saddlebags stored away in my room in the palace, saving me a trip to Sparkle Manor and a potentially awkward reunion. Most of my material for the Cloud Kicker project was back at the manor, but I was confident that I could do an interview with what I had immediately available. It helped when you had more or less memorized the list of questions.
It was around noon when I reached the Kicker Compound. Made of red stone, the repurposed fortress had long ago been absorbed into Canterlot. As I stepped through its gates, I couldn't help but notice that the Compound looked like a city within a city. While the architecture was still distinctly Canterlotian, it had its own unique flavor with its various buildings aligned in neat rows in the Kicker red, a few trees and gardens, and decorative banners. Of course, that led to issues I hadn't thought about before coming here. Namely, that I didn't know the Compound as well as other parts of Canterlot. It didn't help that the similar coloring made it more difficult to identify landmarks.
Considering I didn’t want to spend half the afternoon wandering around the Compound looking for Tornado Kicker’s home, I sought somepony who might be able to give me some directions. My eyes fell upon a young, dappled grey unicorn mare sitting on a bench in one of the garden. She wore the uniform of a West Hoof cadet and seemed to be busy writing with a book open before her. She seemed as good as a pony as any to ask how to get around.
I trotted up to her and gave her the friendliest smile. “Hello. My name is Twilight Sparkle. Could I take a moment to ask you for some directions? I don’t really know my way around here.”
She looked up from her paper. “Hm? Oh, sure. This place is a bit confusing to new ponies.”
“Thanks.” I looked up and down the street to get my bearings. “I was looking for Tornado Kicker’s house. Do you know where he lives?”
“Sure.” She stood up and stretched her back. “I can lead you there, even.”
I smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, that would be a big help. I’ve never had to find a specific address here before, so having a guide would be great.”
The mare worked to scoop up all her study supplies into her saddlebags. “Well, lucky for you, Tornado's my uncle, so I know how to find him.”
“That so?” I had of course gone over Cloud Kicker’s family tree. One that was quite extensive, considering the Kicker Clan had kept pretty good records of such things since relocating to Canterlot. Based on her age, cadet uniform, and breed, I thought I could make a reasonable guess for who she was. “So that makes you his niece Star Kicker?”
“Sure am!” Star slung on her saddlebags and led the way. “How do you know my name?”
“Oh, it’s part of a project I’m working on,” I explained. “Your name came up during my research.”
“Huh.” Star’s head tilted in a contemplative gesture. “And that’s why you need to talk to Uncle Tor?”
“I wanted to interview him about his daughter, Cloud Kicker.” I followed after her and kept a mental record of where we were going. It would be a bit inconvenient if I was led into the center of the Compound and couldn’t find my way out again. This neighborhood was pretty safe, in no small part due to being filled with ponies in the guard and the presence of the Clan Guard, but it was still felt slightly embarrassing to have to ask for directions.
Star’s ears perked. “Oh yeah? What'd Cloud do now?”
“Nothing.” Part of me had to wonder exactly how much of a black sheep Cloud was in her family when her own cousin suspected her of having done something. “It's part of a sociology project she signed up for. Part of that involves interviewing some of her family for that project.”
“Huh. Well, I'm family,” Star offered.
“That is true.” The opportunity to interview another member of Cloud’s family did excite the scholar in me. Especially when the opportunity just fell into my lap like this. Though I couldn’t help but frown as something bothered me. “Have we met? I swear I've seen you somewhere before.”
Star gave me a mischievous grin. “Don't recognize me when I'm not covered in glowsticks?”
The clue struck me like a lightning bolt. “Wait, you're that mare who pointed Sparkler out to me at the concert last night.”
Her grin became all the wider. “Sure am.”
“No offense, but I didn't exactly picture you as a West Hoof cadet when I saw you at a Vinyl Scratch concert.” A pony wrapped head to hoof in glowsticks and a fan of the type of music I heard last night wasn’t the type of pony I normally thought of when I thought of the grim-faced Royal Guard.
“I was off-duty.” Star led me past a group of ponies carrying some groceries home. “I don’t spend all my time studying and doing drills, you know. Everypony needs a chance to unwind—even my sister has her hobbies, and she’s a huge stick in the mud.”
“Everypony needs their hobbies.” I nodded in agreement. “Even I like to break up my study sessions now and again with some light reading for fun. Not that I don’t find all my reading to be fun, really. But some types of reading are more fun than other types. You understand?”
“I think I get you,” Star said.
The two of us walked for a time before I broke the silence. “I hope I didn't interrupt your schoolwork.” I didn’t like the idea that I might have taken her away from her studying.
She waved my worries off. “Nah, nothing important.”
I felt my smile grow strained. “Well, I don't mean to be nitpicky, but all schoolwork is important. Your grades depend on how well you do on it, after all.”
“I guess,” she said grudgingly.
“What are you studying?” I asked.
“Oh, just wrapping up my tracking and fieldcraft class,” Star said with a lack of concern that I found disconcerting. “Just got my last paper and practical examination left.”
“It is good to have a balance of paper tests and practical examinations to prove you know what you have studied,” I said. “I remember taking a healthy dose of each at the School for Gifted Unicorns.”
Star nodded in agreement. “Exactly. So the written stuff's easy. Like the paper you caught me working on.”
“What is your paper about?” I couldn’t help but ask. Not when I found just about any topic to be at least somewhat interesting to study and discuss.
“Well ... funny story, actually.” She smirked as though thinking of a private joke. “It's about wilderness tracking, but since I don't need to do a good job on it ... it's about bear droppings in the woods and whether bears leave them there.”
I blinked, not quite understanding what she was saying. Was she actually not taking her paper seriously? “But—but it’s an assignment. You have to do a good job on it. Why would you be given an assignment if you weren’t expected to perform within an acceptable standard of performance? That doesn’t make sense.”
Star shrugged. “I'll ace the class either way, so why not have some fun?”
“But are you going to get a perfectscore for your class?” I asked.
“Um, no.” Star gave me a curious look. “But it's gonna be an A no matter what I do. I wouldn’t be slacking if I wasn’t.”
I tried very hard not to let out a frustrated sigh. “Don't you want to get the best score you can to raise your GPA and get a better posting once you graduate?”
“I'll get a 4.0 in the class either way,” she said plainly.
I finally lost my cool with the topic, and all but screamed when I spoke. “But you can’t become valedictorian that way! And won't you make your instructor mad by slacking off?”
“Nah, not really. He's got a good sense of humor.”
Taking a moment to take a calming breath, I said, “Look, maybe I could give you some help with your paper...”
“I've got it,” Star said in a tone that didn’t leave much room for further discussion.
“Alright then,” I relented with a sigh. “They're your grades.” I wasn’t exactly happy with Star’s attitude with her paper, but I couldn’t very well force her to be a better student and scholar.
Before we could continue our conversation, Star pointed at one of the homes on the street. “That's Uncle Tor’s place over there. C'mon.” She trotted up to the house, and I followed after her. She must have been a regular visitor, as she opened the door without even knocking and headed right in. “Hey Uncle Tor? We got company.”
“Just a second, Star,” somepony said from further inside the home. “Just need to finish something up real quick.”
I stepped up beside Star and closed the door behind me. I knew a little bit about Tornado, most notably that he was one of the highest ranked military officers in the Royal Guard. I remembered a couple of conversations where my brother had brought up working with him and how he had been one of his chief competitors toward becoming the Captain of the Royal Guard. Hopefully that wouldn’t lead to any awkwardness in this conversation. My brother getting the job he had worked his entire life towards probably wasn’t going to be the most productive topic we could talk about. Thankfully, we could probably avoid the subject.
While we waited, I looked about the interior of the home. It seemed that the Lieutenant Commander of the Royal Guard had quite a nice home for himself. Old but comfortable furniture dotted the room, photographs and paintings were placed along the walls, and the living room didn’t seem to lack for the basic comforts of life. It certainly met the criteria of a typical family home.
An older stallion stepped into the room. He was a well-muscled pegasus with a white coat and long blond mane. “What did you need, Star—” He paused when he spotted me. “Oh. Hello, Miss Sparkle. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
I gave him a smile that felt slightly forced. I had never been great at first impressions, but there wasn’t anything to do but jump in at this point. “Um, hello, Lieutenant Commander Tornado Kicker. I guess you already know me. I mean you know my name and you’ve probably have to know about me and the other Elements of Harmony because we’re an important strategic asset to Equestria’s national defense, and there is the fact that my father is the Grand Vizier, and—”
My ramblings were stopped when Tornado chuckled. “Yes, I do know you by reputation, miss.”
“Er, right.” I pulled out a notebook and pen from my saddlebags. “So, I wanted to interview you about Cloud Kicker if you don't mind. It's for a sociology project I'm working on.” I also gave Star a quick smile. “And I wouldn’t mind interviewing some of your other family, too.”
Tornado nodded. “Alright then. I don’t see why not.”
Star shrugged. “Sure, sounds like it could be kinda fun.”
I let out an involuntary yawn. It seemed that sleeping with one’s head on a book wasn’t exactly the best type of rest, sadly. “Sorry, had a rough night. Anyways...”
If Tornado Kicker was thinking anything, he wasn’t showing it to me in his expression. “Right, I wouldn’t mind helping my CO's little sister.”
Star’s ear twitched the slightest bit. Best if I moved the topic back to what brought me here. I waved at some of the furniture in the living room. “How about we all get comfortable for the interview?”
“Very well then.” Tornado sat down on the couch and he waved for me and Star to do the same on the cushions. “What did you want to ask about first?”
We completed the interview a couple of hours later, and I felt pretty pleased with myself. It was at least one thing that had gone right for me over the last few days.
I flashed a smile at my interviewees. "Thanks for letting me speak to you. This should help a lot."
"No prob," said Star.
Tornado gave me a warm smile. "Glad we could help. It's the least we could do for somepony who's saved Equestria."
"I was just trying to do the right thing." It still felt terribly embarrassing whenever somepony brought that up. I supposed that it was a minor blessing that many ponies couldn't identify me on sight. I didn't mind helping ponies when they needed my help, but I didn't want to become a celebrity.
"You still have my thanks and that of the Guard." Tornado stretched his wings out. They had probably become a bit stiff from how long we had been sitting there. "Now, was there anything else you needed?"
"Nope, I think that just about covers everything." I went about repacking everything into my saddlebags. "Thanks again."
There was a hint of hesitation in Tornado's frame before he spoke. "I was wondering if I could ask you a favor, if it wouldn't be too much of a hassle."
Curious about what he might need, I waved for him to continue. He had helped me, so it only seemed reasonable that I should help him back. "Sure, what did you need?"
There was another moment of hesitation before he spoke. "Next time you see Cloud, could you tell her that I would like it if she and Alula came by to visit when she gets the opportunity?" He shrugged. "It would just be nice to see them again.”
“I don’t see why not,” I told him. I didn’t have many exact details, but I did know that Tornado and his wife hadn’t been living in the same house for a bit now. It probably wasn’t a good sign that nopony seemed to really want to talk about it. While it might have been more thorough for my report to ask what had occurred between him and Nimbus, doing so struck me as unprofessionally insensitive. So I erred on the side that was less likely to offend the ponies I was working with.
The Lieutenant Commander smiled. “Thanks. That would mean a lot to me.”
“Not a problem.” I thought over if there was anything to address before I left and remembered something. “Oh, and I would like to interview Wind and Storm at some point if I could. Are either of them around?”
Star shook her head. “Nah, my big sis is off somewhere in the wilderness with the Long Patrol.”
“And I’m afraid Wind is off in Manehatten at a psychology conference,” Tornado added.
“Okay, thanks anyways.” It was a bit of a shame I wouldn’t be able to interview Cloud’s other cousin. Though it may have been the best with Wind Kicker; Cloud’s aunt was supposed to be well-grounded in the social sciences, and her opinions might color my own final conclusions. That wouldn’t do if I wanted to make sure my conclusions were my own and not an adaptation of somepony close to Cloud. “In that case, I think I’ll be heading out.”
“Sure thing.” Tornado headed to the front door and opened it for me. “If there is anything else, feel free to ask.”
“Yeah, nice meeting you.” Star moved to follow me out. “Do you need any help finding your way out of the Compound?”
I shook my head on the way out. “No, I think I’ve got it. I was paying pretty close attention to where we were going coming here.”
Star stopped at the door instead of following me. “Fair enough. Have a nice day.”
I turned around after stepping outside. “You too.”
“Until next time, bye.” With that, Tornado closed the door.
I let out a relieved breath. I was happy that went well enough, despite a few issues that could have become problems. It wasn’t exactly a surprise to hear that Tornado wasn’t wild about his older daughter’s lifestyle. He didn’t say it, but I think he would have been much happier if his daughter had followed through with becoming an officer in the Guard instead of becoming a weatherpony. Not to mention Cloud’s other daily life choices.
Star had seemed more positive about Cloud. I got the impression that Star tended to look up to her older cousin. I could sympathize with that a little bit, given how I generally looked up to my big brother.
Still, it was a bit nice to have a conversation with somepony without some big, shocking revelation. I had quite enough of those for a little bit. No, what I needed was some time to sit and reflect on what would be the best thing to do. Too much had been happening too fast as of late for me to really digest any of it. Shame I didn’t think I was going to be able to do that in Canterlot. Not after everything that had happened. I was still very mad at my parents, and I didn’t want to go home just to get into a shouting match with them, as much as they might have deserved it. I just wasn’t that type of pony. If I was going to talk to my parents again, I wanted it to be a productive discussion. Whatever form that might end up taking.
Of course, that lead me to thinking about what I was going to do next. I didn’t really want to stay in Canterlot anymore. Not until I had a game plan ready. Staying at the Sparkle Manor was inevitably going to result in me bumping into my parents, and going to my room at the palace just didn’t sit right with me after my last talk with the princess.
Those options eliminated, I was thinking the best option was for me was to return to Ponyville for a while—even if that did feel like I was running away from my problems. It was better to make a tactical withdraw when faced with something you didn’t know how to handle, rather than bashing your head against it and making it worse. Right?
The problem was that most of my stuff was still in the manor. Oh, and Spike was probably there too. Bad enough I was skipping out of a badly needed conversation with my parents by getting out of town, but leaving Spike without even an explanation for what I was doing was unacceptable. That meant that I was going to need to sneak into my old home and try and get Spike out without bumping into Mom and Dad. That would also give me the opportunity to leave them a letter at least. I wasn’t happy with them, but it would be cruel to make them worry about where I even was.
Right, so that made my goals clear. Go back to the manor, try to avoid a direct confrontation with my parents, leave a letter for them, pick up Spike and my things, and then sneak off to the railroad with none being the wiser. Easy, right?
It helps sneaking into someplace when you have the key. It would have been awkward to explain to anypony that might have saw me climbing in through a window. At least considering I don’t have wings; a lot of pegasi seemed to consider windows to be non-standard sized doors, but I guess that came with doors merely being an aesthetic feature for cloudhomes.
Once I was inside, I used a spell to enhance my hearing. I closed my eyes and swiveled my ears this way and that to listen. The only noise I heard was someone in the kitchen whistling a tune. Given the tone of the whistling, I knew it could only be one specific baby dragon. Moving quietly, I made my way to the kitchen.
Spike was busy engaging in his hobby of cooking. It looked like he was making some sort of cake based on the ingredients he had spread out before him. He continued humming his merry tune, oblivious to me standing in the kitchen doorway. My number one assistant must really have been in the zone.
As much as it pained me to do so, I cleared my throat loudly to get his attention. “Hey, Spike.”
Spike jerked in surprise and dropped his large wooden spoon on the floor. “Darn it!” He picked up the spoon, cleaning it with his apron. “And hey, Twilight. You doing alright?”
“Mhm.” I gave him an affectionate nuzzle. “I’m getting along.” No need to tell him about the long night I had just had. That was ... complicated. Much too complicated for a baby dragon.
“So what happened last night?” Spike turned on the kitchen faucet to run water over the spoon. “I don’t think you came back home. At least you weren’t in your bed when I woke up.”
“I just got caught up in an all night study session at the Royal Library.” It’s not a lie when a statement is mostly true, right? It was true enough that it wasn’t a falsehood at any rate.
Spike dropped the spoon into the sink. “I thought you were going to a concert. That’s what your parents said.”
I nodded. “Right, something I saw at the concert inspired me to do an all-nighter.” Suddenly I was really hoping that this line of questioning ended quickly. I wasn’t the best at keeping a poker face on the best of days.
“Oh. Okay then.” Spike hopped back onto his stool where he had been mixing the cake. “But you’re here now. Wanna help me with cooking?”
I glanced the clock and bit my lower lip. If I had to guess, the reason my parents weren’t home at the moment was because they were at work. The problem was that it wasn’t that long before at least one of them might return to the manor. So if I didn’t want to risk meeting them, I was going to have to leave pretty soon.
I shook my head. “Sorry, Spike, but we need to get going back to Ponyville.”
Spike’s disappointment was clear on his features as he frowned. “We’re leaving already? But I thought we’d be hanging out in Canterlot a bit longer?”
“Something came up.” I fumbled to extrapolate. “Just last night, that is. It’s important enough for us to go back home—I mean our other home. The one in Ponyville, I mean.”
Spike crossed his arms in front of his chest, and I could sense his suspicion. “What came up?”
I had to resist grounding my teeth as I found myself caught between telling the truth and lying. I couldn’t think of a convincing half-truth like I had with my previous statements. No, I needed a different approach. What had the adults in my life always done when I asked an uncomfortable question?
“Um, I’m sorry, but I can’t talk about it right now,” I said lamely. Darn it, I had to do better than that. I could only guess that experience made you better at this type of thing.
Spike’s eyes narrowed. “Why not?”
“I ... I just can’t right now.” I found my tone taking on a pleading edge. “Please, Spike, you’re just going to have to trust me on this for right now.”
Spike’s suspicion turned into worry as the stiffness in his frame loosened. “Twilight, is everything alright?”
“Yes,” I said on reflex, too quickly I realized. “I mean everything is going to be fine, trust me. I just can’t go into details right now, but I will when I can.”
“Well, alright then,” Spike said reluctantly. “Can I at least finish the cake? And I’m sure you want to say goodbye to your parents.”
I tried my hardest not to flinch at the mention of my parents. “Sorry, but we really need to get going right away. I’ll leave a letter for them saying we had to leave early, don’t worry.”
Spike looked at the half complete ingredients and sighed. “If we really have to...”
“Yeah, we do.” I gave him a nuzzle. “How about you clean up down here while I collect our stuff from upstairs?”
“Fiiine,” Spike said grumpily. He started the process of cleaning up the mess he had made. “And after all that work I put in.”
“Thanks for understanding.” I nuzzled him again. “You’re being a champ about this. Be back down in a few.” That done, I trotted towards my bedroom upstairs. As I walked along, my steps seemed to feel heavier and heavier. The guilt over my treatment of Spike weighed me down and only felt worse by the time I reached my room. I had to wonder if all parents felt like this when they said this type of stuff to their kids.
I mean, parents can’t be brutally honest all the time to their kids, right? There are times when you have to either dodge a question, or tell a little white lie. At least that is the impression I got from watching parents with their kids and from my own experiences with my parents.
I stepped into bedroom and had to stop myself and rub my face.
Did that make it right, though? I had the best intentions with Spike. Most parental figures did, but was it right? I had my excuses, but so did my parents. There are always the excuses for things like these. He’s too young. We’ll tell her when she’s old enough to understand. Now isn’t the right time. Maybe tomorrow. I don’t want to ruin what we’re having today. I just want everypony to stay happy.
How many excuses did my parents tell themselves? Would the excuses ever end of their own volition? When would I stop using excuses? Was it even close to the right action when my parents—when my parents lied to me about something so important? Had my parents found it easy to lie to me? One little lie and half-truth piling up one after another in the belief it was protecting me?
Was I just making the same stupid mistakes by not telling Spike the truth? Was I trapped in some terrible cycle, doomed to repeat the same sins of my forebears no matter my intentions?
My eyes blurred, and I fell onto my bed. I felt too heavy to move anymore. It was as though the whole world was crashing down on me.
I clutched a pillow to my face and sobbed into it. It was all too much. My parents had been lying to me my entire life, and I didn't have a clue. And what had I done? I had perpetuated all the lies with Spike for virtually the same reasons. What did that say about me?
I wanted to think this problem through. To come up with a logical solution that would make everything better, but instead rational thought was overwhelmed as my sobbing intensified.
"Twilight?" I heard an all-too-familiar voice ask. The voice had a strong undercurrent and even a little bit of fear.
Oh no. Not Spike. Not right now. How long had I been crying my eyes like some little filly? Too long if Spike was here. I wiped at my nose and eyes, trying desperately to pull myself together. I didn't want Spike to see me like this. A child shouldn’t see his parental figure broken down like this. Not when they depended on them to be strong and a source of stability. He didn't deserve that. None of this was his fault.
"Twilight?" he asked again. "Is everything alright?"
I finally brought myself to raise my head and look at him. I tried to speak but my throat was too tight.
“What’s wrong?” He stepped cautiously to the bed. “Did something happen? Can I help?”
I really wished he could, but he was just a baby dragon. I couldn’t expect him to come in and fix everything for me. That wasn’t fair to him.
Turns out there was something he could do. He crawled onto the bed and hugged me. At first I was shocked by the gesture, but then I embraced him back. I held onto him like he was a piece of driftwood in the middle of the ocean.
“So what happened?” Spike asked again. “You know you can talk to me.”
“It’s...” I swallowed, trying to loosen up my throat. "I'm sorry Spike; it's been a long couple of days. Things have happened that I don't really want to get into right now."
"Okay, Twilight. I get it. We don't have to go through it right now." He gave me a gentle squeeze. "But hey, it's all gonna be okay, alright? You’re strong and super smart and stuff. Whatever it is, you’ll get through it. I know you will. Because you’re you.” His mouth turned up into a cheesy grin.
I couldn’t help but grin back in return. “Yeah, thanks. It means a lot for you to say that.” I nuzzled him as thanks.
Did I ever mention I have the best assistant ever?
Thanks in no small part to Spike's help, I managed to pull myself together. The tears stopped, and I could start thinking like a rational pony again. Though I felt an undercurrent of embarrassment and shame when I considered the sort of mess Spike found me in, there wasn't much to do about that at this juncture. All I could do was try and move forward.
"Hey, Twilight. You feeling any better?" Spike must have noticed that my sobbing had slowed down.
I wiped at my eyes so I could see again. "Yeah, a little."
"You wanna talk about it?"
That was the question, wasn't it? More than a small part of me wanted to talk to someone about everything. That was a big reason why I had gone to see Princess Celestia. Shame that had only caused the whole night to nosedive even faster. The issue was that I didn't think Spike was the right person for that. I would need to talk to him about everything sooner or later, but I had to sort out my own feelings and thoughts first. My parents’ relationship and everything involving Amethyst were big issues to tackle. Spike was pretty mature, but he was still a baby dragon and didn't deserve to have me dump all my emotional baggage on him.
I shook my head. "No, I think I'm good for now. Maybe we can talk about it later. I've gone through a lot the last couple of days and I need time to think about it, okay?"
"Well if you're really sure..." he said reluctantly.
"Thanks for understanding, Spike." I nuzzled the best assistant in all the world.
He gave me another hug. "Are we still leaving Canterlot?"
I bit my lower lip. "I'm afraid so. Like I said, a lot of stuff came up, and I want to get back to Ponyville." Really, I wanted to get some space from all the problems that had developed here in my hometown. Once I had some time to figure out where I stood, I would be able to come back. Not like anything major was likely to change with my family in a few weeks. Finding out I had two half-sisters probably met my drama quota for at least a couple of months.
Spike let out a resigned sigh. "Well, alright then. We’re heading out now?"
"I think that would be for the best." I got off the bed and started packing all my stuff.
“Oh! Before I forget.” Spike pointed to an envelope on the dresser by my bed. “Your parents wanted me to tell you to read that when you got back.”
I picked the letter up. “I’ll ... read it later.” I packed it away along with everything else.
Spike quirked an eyebrow. “Why not now?”
“Later,” I repeated. Whatever my parents had to say to me, I didn’t want to deal with it at the moment. First they had come to the palace looking for me and then left this letter. I guess I had inherited my persistence from them.
“It’s not like you to put off reading a letter, Twilight.” Spike crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Especially when it’s from your parents.”
I rubbed my eyes, this was way too soon. “Like I said, Spike, it has been a couple of days. Could we drop it, please?”
Spike let out an exasperated breath. “Fine. Let’s get this over with then.”
The two of us gathered up all our possessions, including my new magic circle and some of the other things I had bought the previous day. I suppose that I was lucky they had placed everything in my room instead of placing my purchases somewhere on the other side of the manor.
After a quick double-check, I gave Spike a smile. “And I think that’s it.”
“Seems like it.” Spike tested the weight of his backpack.
I grinned conspiratorially. “Though we do have one more stop to make before we leave town.”
“Oh? Where?” Spike asked with a hint of suspicion.
“How about—” I teleported us out of the manor and onto the Canterlot streets. Before Spike could get his bearings, I made a couple more precise hops to arrive in front of one of the Canterlot storefronts. “—we stop here for a bit?”
Spike shook his head to clear out the post-teleportation fuzziness. He looked at the sign of the store we now stood in front of and his eyes widened. “Cosmic Comics and Collectables?!” He turned to me with a big smile on his face. “We’re gonna go in?”
I smiled right back at him. “Sure are!” This comic shop was just about Spike’s favorite place in Canterlot, and I knew that he would want to go here before we left. He always liked to load up on a comic or two while here, and it would keep him content for the train ride at the very least. Although I had originally intended to come here anyway, I couldn’t help but feel I was bribing him. “And you can get whatever you want.”
“Anything!?” Spike ran into the store as fast as his little legs would carry him.
“Within reason!” I called after him. I chuckled and followed him inside. This trip wasn’t all bad.
The trip back to Ponyville was thankfully uneventful, and once there, it was back to work. There is a certain peace and stability to be found in daily mundane life. Oh sure, it was nice to now and again break the daily routine, but I still wanted a sense of normality to return to when it was all said and done.
Thus, I spent the next couple of days doing nothing but gloriously normal things around the library. I wrapped up a couple of book reports well ahead of time so that I would have time to review them later, finished setting up the new lab, cleaned the library, conducted a basic thaumaturgic realignment experiment, practiced some new spells, reshelved the books, and as became a growing nagging thought in the back of my head, did anything that didn't involve my f—things I didn’t want to think about and honestly had no idea what I would even think about if I were to think about them.
All my papers and materials on Cloud Kicker were sitting on my desk upstairs, quietly taunting me to stop procrastinating and get back to work. The envelope about Amethyst and the letter my parents left me sat safely in my interdimensional pocket plane, along with Spike's Hearth's Warming Eve gifts. In the statistically unlikely event that he should get into that, he would be far too interested in his presents to bother with some mundane-looking mail. I did not want Spike to learn that Amethyst was alive by reading a piece of paper. That was highly undesirable to say the least. Spike deserved better.
Just like I had.
The Princess was probably right about talking with my parents about everything. Maybe I would write out everything I wanted to address with them? It would be like preparing for a speech. I could see where I was standing in a week and decide how to proceed then. That would give me more than enough time to get my act together and come up with a rational plan or two.
Then there was Amethyst. I was terribly tempted to open that envelope up and see where my sister was, but Princess Celestia’s advice echoed in the back of my mind. No, I couldn’t see her when I was still mad at my parents. The revelation of having a sister would be hard enough. Amethyst didn’t deserve to have all my emotional baggage dumped on top of that. Ugh, but that meant I would actually have to bunker down and deal with Mom and Dad, and soon if I wanted to see my sister.
So I had the beginnings of a plan. First I would give myself some time to calm down, then I would come up with a working plan to see my parents and then Amethyst with a clear conscience. At least that sounded like a workable plan.
Well, at least I could write a letter to Vinyl Scratch so that I could get to know my half-sister a little better. We seemed to be pretty different ponies, but plenty of siblings were different yet still got along. Maybe we could even arrange a day that would just be for the two of us? That sounded like a workable plan to me. That decided, I headed to my desk to write that letter.
It wasn’t long after I had finished the letter that Rainbow Dash flew in through the window.
Someday I was going to teach her to use the door like a civilized pony. Well, not to imply that pegasi were uncivilized. Windows and doors were more of an aesthetic choice for cloud homes. Any opening a pegasus could fly through effectively served as a door for them. Still, for ground-based homes, there was a door for a reason.
Ugh, cross-tribal relations could be difficult sometimes.
Dash fixed me with one of her typical cocky grins. “Hey, Twilight. What’s up?”
“Oh, just the usual stuff.” I waved a hoof vaguely. “Studying, writing, experimenting. You?”
“Being awesome, as always.” She fluttered down closer to me. “Heard you got back from Canterlot. That mean you and Spike are gonna join the rest of us to watch the dragon migration later today?”
“Wait, that was this week?” I retrieved my monthly schedule. It showed how scattered-brained I was if I had forgotten about something as big as the dragon migration. I had cleared out my schedule for the week so that I could take care of everything in Canterlot. Seems I hadn’t been paying as much attention to what I was cutting out of my schedule as I should have been. Though redoing my schedule for what remained of the week was at least one thing I could do before tackling the Cloud Kicker project...
“Hay yeah, it is.” Dash excitedly flipped back in the air. “How can you forget that there are gonna be hundreds of dragons flying right by Ponyville? Helloooo! I thought you eggheads were supposed to be good at remembering this type of stuff.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, I’ve just had a lot on my mind lately.” Examining my schedule, I saw where I had absentmindedly crossed out everything for today. It seemed I had just forgotten. Whoops.
A dragon migration was something I had always wanted to see. They were often sporadic and difficult to predict, with the timing of the journey and their destination seeming to be random as far as ponies could figure. Equestria and the dragons had long ago come to an ... agreement that dragons could have safe passage through Equestria as long as they didn’t cause any trouble. It had been quite a bit of work to make sure the dragons didn’t cause any incidents while flying over settlements—cities getting burned to the ground type of incidents. Each dragon was different of course, but some were a bit more foul-tempered than others. A few of the more greedy ones might get it in their heads to loot a city of its prized possessions while flying over said city. The Royal Guard was of course shadowing the dragon migration, but the idea of so many dragons flying over Equestria was still upsetting to many. I for one found it fascinating.
“So you coming or not?” Dash asked with a hint of impatience. “Applejack and Pinkie are digging that trench like we talked about. And since I’m the fastest pony anywhere...” Dash rubbed a hoof on her chest in a nonchalant manner. “It’s up to me to round everypony else up so nopony’s late. I’ve already went to Rarity’s, and she said she just needed to finish the final touches to her getup. So what’s the word? We don’t have all day you know.”
“I’d love to come watch the dragon migration with all of you.” It was exactly what I needed to help me clear my thoughts. “I’ll talk to Spike about baking some cookies.”
Dash smiled. “Great, and cookies sound pretty cool. Say...” She seemed to mull over something before continuing. “You wanna come with me to Fluttershy’s to see if she wants to come too? She said she didn’t want to see the dragons earlier, but this is way too cool to just skip. You’re a bit better with talking, so maybe you can talk her into coming to see the dragons with us?”
I wondered if Fluttershy’s fear of dragons was cropping up again. She had taken care of that one dragon on the mountain quite handily, but there was a bit of a difference between that incident and the dragon migration. Still, it would be nice if we could convince her to come with us. Besides, some time with Fluttershy was something I could really use. It was hard not to feel at least a little better with Fluttershy around.
“Sure, let’s go ahead and do that,” I said. “Let me just talk to Spike real quick first to make sure he’s up for this. After that it shouldn’t be too hard to convince Fluttershy to come with us.”
It had proven much more difficult to convince Fluttershy to come watch the dragon migration than anticipated. In fact, in a rare moment of self-assertion, she had very firmly told us that she had no intention of joining us, despite Dash’s rather aggressive attempt at dragging Fluttershy with us. Her flight from her own home had made it pretty clear where she stood on the matter.
With that being a bust, the two of us returned to the library to pick up Spike. Big surprise, the little guy had been pretty enthusiastic about joining us. It wasn’t very often he got to see other dragons.
“So I guess there is no convincing Fluttershy to join us,” I said conversationally while closing the library door behind us. I couldn’t help but sigh at that. I had really hoped she would come.
“No kidding.” Dash grumbled while rubbing her chest. Fluttershy had given her a pretty nasty kick there while getting away. “She didn't have to get that worked up about it, though. I thought she was over her dragon-phobia.”
“I thought she had gotten over her drakonophobia too,” I gently corrected. “I guess it was a one time thing with that dragon on the mountain. Bit of a shame, really.”
“I guess.” She sighed and shook her head. “Oh well, I guess she'll just have to miss out on the awesome time the rest of us will have.” She crossed her forelegs and grumbled. “Even though I went to her butterfly thing...”
It was perhaps a little bit bad of me, but I couldn’t help but grin at the thought of Rainbow Dash going to see a butterfly migration. Now I personally thought that would have been great to see, but Dash had always had her own preference for activities, and a lot of those activities were very different from the ones Fluttershy liked, as this incident showed clearly.
“Did you bring that photograph specifically to blackmail her into coming?” It had struck me as slightly suspicious that Dash had that photograph on her when we went out to see Fluttershy.
“It wasn't blackmail, it was just ... y'know...” Dash struggled to find the right way to explain her thoughts. “A favor for a favor, is all.”
I gave her a knowing grin. “Right, asking a favor for a favor. While using documented evidence.”
Dash snorted. “She had fun. Besides, it was my turn to pick something fun for us to do.”
“Now you know it was important to her,” I said soothingly. “You're one of her oldest and best friends. It meant a lot to her that you went to that with her.” I remembered Fluttershy talking about going to the butterfly migration. She had been walking on water afterwards. Figuratively speaking, of course.
“Yeah, which is why I went to that butterfly thing even though I knew it would be sooo boring.” I was a bit surprised when I saw Dash’s usual bravado dissolve as her ears drooped. “But now she won't do the dragon migration with me...”
“Hey.” I placed a hoof on her shoulder. “The rest of us are still going to be there, and then there are all the treats Spike’s making.”
Dash let out a disgruntled huff. “Yeah, I guess.”
That probably wasn’t exactly what Dash wanted to hear, but hopefully she would feel better once we got to see the dragons. “And speaking of Spike, I just need to check in on him real quick.” I trotted to the kitchen. He was busy putting some baking sheets into the oven while whistling some tune to himself. “Hey, Spike. How is it going?”
He closed the oven door before turning to me with a smile. “Great! Everything should be done here soon.”
“Thanks, Spike.” I gave him an appreciative nuzzle. “I’m sure all the girls will thank you. You know they love your cooking.”
“Aw, it’s nothing,” he said with an embarrassed smile.
I looked about the kitchen to see if there was anything out of the ordinary. “Are you sure you don’t need any help before I tell Dash that everything is almost ready?”
“Nope, everything is hunky-dory in here,” Spike picked up a couple of bowls to place in the sink. “Thanks for asking, though.”
“Sure thing. Be back in a bit.” I trotted back to the main library to see Dash idly looking around. “Sorry about that. Just wanted to make sure Spike was okay in the kitchen. Good news is that everything should be ready here before too long.”
“It’s cool.” She shrugged. “So ... s'up with you? You kinda came back from Canterlot sooner than we thought you would.”
“Yeah...” I rubbed the back of my head. “It went alright, I guess.” This really wasn’t a topic I wanted to get into.
“Yeah, family good?” Dash asked.
I looked away from her and scraped a hoof along the floor. “They're doing alright.”
If Dash caught onto my discomfort, she didn’t show any sign of it. “Cool. You went to see Cloud's too, right? For the whole study thing you got going? How're they doing?”
“Oh, they're doing just fine.” Now this was a topic I was a bit more comfortable with, though that did make me wonder what that meant when I said I was more comfortable with anything involving Cloud Kicker than my own parents. “I got to meet Tornado and Star Kicker. They seemed really nice.”
Dash nodded. “Yeah, Cloud's dad is alright. And her cousins are pretty cool. Especially Storm. We pulled such a sick prank on Lyra once when we zapped Harpbutt on the rear. It was a blast!”
It wasn’t hard to imagine Dash getting one of Cloud’s teenage cousins to zap Lyra with a lightning cloud. Dash did have a love of using lightning and thunder clouds for her pranks. She had terrorized half the town during Nightmare Night with those until Princess Luna had given her a dose of her own medicine.
“I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t get to interview Storm.” I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll get to meet her later.” The topic of Cloud’s family caused a few synapses to fire. “That reminds me, I need to tell Cloud that her dad would like to see her and Alula at some point. You know when Cloud is supposed to get back from Cloudsdale so I can tell her?”
Dash pursed her lips as she thought my question over. “It should just be a couple days. Annual weather conferences take a while. The big ponies upstairs will keep her there until they’re happy with everything. Though usually they don’t take more than a week. But I didn’t really want to go. It’s sooo boring. Taking a few days off to watch dragons is way cooler.”
Sometimes I wondered how much Dash actually worked versus how much she was supposed to, but that seemed to just be one of those perpetual mysteries that plagued Ponyville.
“The dragon migration is a pretty special event,” I allowed. “I’m happy that I’m not going to miss it now.”
“Hay yeah! It’s going to be. So. Awesome!” Dash zipped about the room.
“Say, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?” There had been a question plaguing my mind for a while and now seemed as good a time as any to ask it.
Dash stopped flying about the library to face me. “Go for it.” After a second she added, “Well, as long as it's not weird.”
She was always one to jump right in, though sometimes with some conditions. “I was wondering why you became friends with Cloud to start with? I mean, you two are a bit... different.”
“Huh?” Dash rubbed her chin. “Well, 'cause she's cool, I guess.” She lowered her voice to say, “Don't tell her I said that, though.”
I chuckled. It felt good to see Dash be her usual self. “This never leaves the library. But seriously, why do you find her cool? I mean...” Words failed me as I tried to think of the best way to put my thoughts.
“Oh Twilight.” She patted me on the head. “You still don't really get how coolness works, do you?”
Brushing her hoof aside, I re-straightened my mane. “I think I’ve figured out the basics. That, and how you define ‘awesome’ and ‘radical’ too.”
Rainbow blew a raspberry at me. “You can’t use egghead stuff to understand the really cool stuff.”
I rolled my eyes. “Anyways, you and Cloud seem like very different ponies. And, well ... she does tend to bring up a certain topic you seem pretty uncomfortable with.” Yes, that totally didn’t sound like a question that applied one hundred percent to me. Way to not be transparent, Twilight.
Dash shrugged. "You talk about egghead stuff a lot, and we're still friends. It's more that we like hanging out, right?"
"That is true, but I never really embarrass you with the type of things I do, do I?" I asked.
"Not really."
"I see.” I thought over that. “So what, you just ignore it when she's being ... her?"
"Nah, I've got a pretty thick skin with Kicker." She grinned. "Besides, I get her back for when she's being all weird, so it's cool."
"Like how?" I picked up a notebook and quill. This might give me a better idea for how to deal with Cloud. Dash had been friends with her for years now and dealt with her on a daily basis.
My friend fluttered up to a window to lounge in it. "You know, tease her back, pranks, whatever. It's all in good fun. No big."
"I think I understand." I scribbled away furiously. "So you don't let her get under your skin and get her back. Good naturedly, of course."
Dash stretched as she made herself comfortable. "Exactly. Now you're getting it."
I finished writing up my current line of thoughts. "I'll keep that in mind, then."
"Cool. You and her doing alright?" She craned her neck to get a better look at me. I groaned as the topic of my own feelings for Cloud came back to the surface. They weren't as pronounced as they were before, but I still needed to sit down and decide on a course of action. "I'm working on it. I partially went to Canterlot to give me some time and distance to figure out how to deal with her."
"How'd that work out?" Dash asked.
"Brilliantly," I said with bleeding sarcasm. "I found a boatload of new problems to overshadow the old."
Dash winced. "Oh." My comment had been more caustic than I had intended. "Um ... anything I can do to help?"
I let out a huff as I worked to rein in my temper. "Not really. It's a bit complicated, and I'm still trying to wrap my head around the problem."
"Oh." Dash squirmed in place on the window ledge. "I guess I could listen, if you want. I mean, that's really more Fluttershy's thing. Well, her and you. But you can’t really give yourself an ear, now can you? But if you need somepony to talk to right now..." She paused, running a hoof through the mane. “Well, I’m here, y’know?”
“I appreciate the offer,” I said. "But you don't really have to listen to my problems if you don’t want to. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Nah, I don't mind." She hopped down to the floor. "I mean, if you need help I'm here and all.”
“I know that.” I put away my notebook. “Everypony has their strengths and weaknesses.” Though based on the way Dash kept mentioning Fluttershy, I was going to guess she really would prefer for me to talk to her about this. And on second thought, Fluttershy might be exactly who I needed to talk to about my problems. At the very least, she was always a good shoulder to cry on. Dash would probably just advise me to march right back to Canterlot and confront my parents about everything, and that really wasn’t how I wanted to approach the problem. As direct and efficient as it might be, I needed to hide away in Ponyville until I got my head on straight.
“I think I will go talk to her about ... everything later,” I said. “After the dragon migration, of course.”
“Oh yeah!” Dash nudged my shoulder. “Gotta have your priorities straight.”
“Thanks for being here for me, by the way.” I nuzzled her. “Couldn't ask for a more awesome friend.”
Dash puffed out her chest proudly. "You know me, being awesome is what I do."
I glanced into the kitchen to check on Spike's progress. He was in the middle of pulling out the baking sheets from the oven. It seemed we had just a little while to wait before he would be ready to go. Seeing that was the case, I picked up my schedule to review it.
"How about I double-check what else I'm doing with you while you're here?" I mused. "No sense risking me forgetting anything."
Dash put a hoof over mouth as she suppressed a laugh.
I shot her a look that was equal parts suspicion and irritation. “What?”
"Nothing," she said with all the innocence of a child. Dash was only beat by Applejack for a lack of a poker face.
The grin working itself onto Dash's features proved infectious. I gave her my own knowing smile. "Nooo, it's not nothing. You're thinking something."
No doubt seeing that the game was up, Dash rolled her eyes. "I just think it's funny how you always have a schedule. I wouldn't be surprised to see that you schedule when you're going to go to the bathroom."
"I'm very busy." I went back to reviewing my schedule. "Keeping a schedule makes sure I don't forget anything."
She shrugged. "Hey, whatever, Twi. That's how you are. I think it's kinda funny, but you probably think some of the things I do are a bit weird. Weirdly awesome, but probably weird to an egghead."
"I guess that is true," I said. "Everypony has their quirks."
"Exactly," Dash said with a nod. "See, I know what I'm talking about."
I saw a specific event that did catch my eyes considering Dash was here. "It looks like Tornado Day is sneaking up on us. It's only a couple of weeks away."
"Oh, right, that!" My friend took flight again, never being a pony to stay still for long. "It's going to be so radical if Cloud can manage to get that lined up for us. You set on your end to help out with the anemometer?"
"I am." I recalled my mental list of all the things I needed to build it, and I was pretty sure I got everything I needed in Canterlot. "I just need to put it together and then test it to make sure it works right. Other than that, everything should be fine."
"Cool," Dash said. "Anything else you need to get that set up?"
Thinking the question over, I shook my head. "I don't think so. It would be nice to have a pegasus or two from the weather team at some point to help me test the device and make sure it's calibrated right."
“Not a problem.” She playfully punched me in the shoulder. “You cover that, and I’ve got the rest handled. Just gonna have to train everypony real hard for the big day. Once we do, we’re gonna show everypony just how awesome Ponyville is.”
I held my own reservations about Tornado Day. At least the part where Dash wanted to break the record. I never really liked plans where everything had to go exactly right or the plan would fail. I knew from bitter personal experiences how well such plans tended to go once they were enacted. Dash was expecting a lot out of the pegasi of Ponyville, and I wasn’t sure everypony was going to be as motivated as Dash wanted them to be. Though it should turn out alright. It wasn’t that hard even for a town like Ponyville to do a water tornado as long as the turnout was good enough.
Before I could bring up any of my concerns, Spike walked in with a cart filled with treats and drinks.
“Hey, I’m ready to go,” Spike said.
“C’mon then!” Dash rushed out the door and stopping just outside to wave for us to follow. “There’s dragon watching to do!”
I grasped the cart with my magic to move it forward. “Don’t worry, we’re right behind you.”
Time to relax and watch some dragons in flight.
That had been less relaxing than I had hoped for.
I opened the front door to the library, so very happy to be back home after a long trip. “Okay Spike, no more journeys of self-discovery for a while. That was more excitement than I really needed.”
“Sorry,” Spike said apologetically. “I just wanted to figure out who I was.”
“I know, I know.” I nuzzled him. “And I’d like to think it all turned out for the best.”
Spike gave me a big grin. “Yeah! I learned a bunch about myself. Oh, and now I’ve got a new pet!” He held the phoenix egg up but then frowned at it. “Or at least will once it hatches.”
I smiled back. “Yep, you sure will.” I locked the front door, since it was starting to get late by the time we got home.
Spike turned the egg around in his claws carefully. “I bet a phoenix is going to be such a cool pet. We’re gonna have so much fun together!”
Spike getting a pet was certainly not something I had expected. I mean it was certainly a possibility, and one I wasn’t against, but usually whenever someone got a pet it was something like a dog or a cat, not a mythical fire-bird. Then again, given that a pet phoenix would most likely live as long as Spike will, it works out. It was probably a big reason why Princess Celestia had Philomena.
“We might need to send a letter to Princess Celestia asking how to raise a phoenix, at least.” If anypony knew how to raise one, it was her. “And it would probably be good to check with Fluttershy, too. She might have some good advice about taking care of a bird.” We did have experience helping to take care of Owlicious, but he took care of himself for the most part. Peewee was going to be a chick when he or she hatched. That meant a whole other range of issues to deal with. “I’m sure we’ll make it work just fine.”
“Sounds good to me.” Spike yawned and blinked his eyes sleepily. “You mind if I head to bed? It’s been a long day.”
“Sure, go ahead,” I said. “I think I might get to work on that anemometer I promised to make for Dash.” That wasn’t something I wanted to do at the last minute, of course. One never knew what types of minor issues might come up with an engineering project, so best to get the bulk of the work done ahead of time in case something came up.
“Alright.” Spike stifled another yawn. “Night.”
We parted ways. Spike went upstairs, while I went through the basement to the lab.
It felt relaxing to do an engineering project again. They were so uncomplicated compared to some of the messes I had been dealing with lately. With engineering, it was all about making sure all the parts were in working order, putting them together correctly and then turning it on to make sure it operated properly. After that, it was making any corrections that needed to be made, and then fine-tuning it for maximum efficiency and measurement accuracy.
I was in the middle of putting in some of the screws into the anemometer when I heard a knock on the door. Curious, I headed upstairs and answered.
My eyes widened, and I quickly fell into a bow. “Princess Luna! I-I wasn't expecting you!”
The Princess of the Night stood outside in all her regal presence. She spoke in an official and dispassionate tone, probably meaning she was here on business. “Greetings, Twilight Sparkle. How does this evening find thee?”
I rose from my bow. “G-good! Do you want to come in?” I moved to give her space to step in.
Princess Luna smiled and nodded. “I will gladly accept thy hospitality.” She stepped into the library, and I closed the door behind her. “I hope that thou wilt not take offense if we go straight to business?”
“Of course not.” Immediately after she said those words I guessed why she was here, and I felt a cramping in my stomach.
Confirming my suspicions, she asked, “How dost thy work on Cloud Kicker progress?”
I cleared my throat. “I'm working on it.” That was to say, it wasn’t done yet. Spike’s personal journey to discover himself had put a bit of a stop to my other projects. I couldn’t very well let a baby dragon who might as well be my little brother go marching off to meet with a bunch of big, potentially dangerous dragons all by himself?
“But of course,” Princess Luna said. “And how far along art thou?”
“Um, that is something I'm trying to figure out, if I'm going to be honest.” I rubbed the back of my mane. This was just about one of the worst feelings in the world, the realization that I had been procrastinating on a project that others would have liked to see done. This was exactly why I had schedules, so this type of thing didn’t happen. “I've collected a lot of material, but ... I'm trying to decide if I want to collect more information or go ahead and write the actual report.”
Princess Luna glanced about the library with an air of indifference. “Then share thy current findings with me.”
“Okay.” My thoughts scrambled as I found myself in a situation I wasn’t prepared for. I mean, I knew I would have to make some sort of presentation to the princess, but I didn’t know it would be this soon. “Did you want all the research material I've gathered, or is this more an oral summary of my findings?”
“A summary will suffice for now,” Princess Luna said.
“Um, well, Cloud Kicker is... different from most ponies I know.” I drew upon my experiences of doing oral presentations for Princess Celestia to help me figure out how best to proceed. “She grew up within the Kicker Clan and seemed like she was going to be a pretty typical member of the family. Going into West Hoof to become a Guard officer and all that, but then she suddenly decided not to join the Guard after skipping out on her graduation.”
“Interesting, but I know her history already.” Her head tilted slightly as she stared at me. “I see little point in having thee do in-depth research just to provide information I could largely find in public records.”
“So you were wanting to know her as a pony, then?” That was going to make things a bit more difficult considering I hadn’t exactly gotten along with Cloud. Still, it didn’t strike me as right to slander her to the princess without her even being here to defend herself. “The personal aspect is one of the parts I'm still working on. Cloud and I are ... different ponies, you see.” And now it felt like I was repeating myself.
The princess’s raised her brow at that. “How so? Explain, please. And in detail.”
I glanced about the room, stalling for time as I gathered my thoughts. “Cloud likes to engage in carnal relationships. Often. In fact, it's such a significant part of her life, it tends to work into a lot of her conversations and humor. And it isn't something I am used to or really comfortable with.”
“That matches my own observations.” Whether Princess Luna was talking about Cloud or me, I wasn’t sure, but I wasn’t about to ask her.
“You've met her?” I asked.
“I have, and I would have the rest of thy thoughts on her,” she said, not letting the conversation get off the rails. “Full disclosure.”
“Honestly, I'm still sorting my thoughts out on her. When I first got to meet her, I didn't like her much. She's just so different from anypony I've ever known or had to deal with.” I braced myself as I moved onto talking about one of the more uncomfortable aspects of my relationship with Cloud. “I guess it revolves around ... sex. It's not a topic I've given much thought to or had to deal with.”
“And now?” the princess asked with a hint of curiosity.
“I'm not sure.” I sighed, feeling my frustration growing. “I may have been hard on her, or she may deserve my original opinion of her. I mean she has other parts to her, I know that. Her father said he wanted to see her just the other day when I spoke with him, so she can’t be all bad. I'm trying to put my personal bias aside, but that’s a work in progress.” I internally winced when I realized I admitted to having a bias for an academic discussion. You weren’t supposed to do that for a research project. Everything was supposed to be completely, one-hundred percent impartial for something like this.
Princess Luna pursed her lips after I said that. “She did not make the best first impression, then?”
“Not really, no.” Cloud certainly had a way to leave an impression on ponies. That definitely came across in my research. “Her humor is a lot more crass than what I'm used to. With a lot more teasing than I’m experienced with.”
“But thou hast begun to revise thine opinion?” she asked.
“I'm not entirely sure I really understand her,” I said. “I've ... been doing a lot of rethinking about my own life recently.”
Princess Luna sat down at the library’s central desk and gave me displeased look. “If thou dost not understand her, then further study is required.”
I sat down opposite of her, my head bowed. “I guess all the background research isn't going to cut it then?” I sighed to myself. This wasn’t going very well and I knew it.
“Hardly,” she scoffed. “I wanted you to study the mare, not her record.”
“Err, why? If I may ask.” It struck me as weird how the princess seemed so concerned with the personal side of Cloud Kicker. This was certainly different than most of the research projects I had done for Princess Celestia. Those were generally about hard facts, figures, solving problems. The project with Cloud wasn’t quite lining up, or at least the part where I was trying to figure out the princess’s goals here.
The Warden of the Moon frowned at my question. “My reasons are my own. And I am ... less than satisfied with what thou hast reported.”
My ears wilted at the rebuke. “I'm sorry, I'll do better. I promise.”
Her eyes narrowed. “If thou hast nothing more to tell me...”
I looked down at the floor. “No.”
Princess Luna looked away from me and out one of the windows. “Perhaps 'twould be best to call an end to the assignment. 'Twould seem thou art unsuited to it.”
“U-unsuited!” The words sounded odd to me, wrong somehow. I couldn’t be hearing what I was hearing.
“Aye. In any case, 'tis a moot issue now,” Princess Luna said in a tone coated in disappointment. “I will have to make my own determination regarding the mare shortly, and if thou canst tell me nothing more...”
She started towards the door, prompting me to bolt from my seat and run after her. “Please, give me more time!” I placed myself before her and the door and bowed. “I can't fail! I've never failed! Whatever you want to know, I'll find it out! Maybe I already discovered what you want from something else.”
Princess Luna stopped and quirked an eyebrow. She stood there for a long moment that felt like an eternity to me. I started to worry I might have offended her with my outburst. Would she tell Princess Celestia? She might even recommend to her sister that I shouldn’t be her personal student anymore. What would I do then? A dozen different disaster scenarios ran through my mind as the silence dragged on and on.
Finally, Luna broke her silence. “Very well, then. A question to see if thou hast learned anything of this mare. Tell me, dost thou think her a good mare?”
That question threw me for a loop. It was such an unscientific question for a report. How do you quantify if somepony is good or not? Sure, there was good and evil, but they weren’t always easy to judge. Especially when there were multiple perspectives to look from.
Still, I couldn’t allow myself to fail. I grasped for whatever facts I could to answer her question. “Um, I don't think she's evil or anything like that. She ... makes poor choices sometimes. But I'm pretty sure she cares about her family, and she did protect me against Sticks and Stones when she didn't have to. So she has her good qualities.”
The princess nodded at that. “Which are more prominent, her good or bad qualities? Is she a good pony who occasionally errs, or a bad pony with moments of decency?”
I stood up and frowned. This was starting to sound like some of Princess Celestia’s more philosophical questions. I had never been a fan of those. They always seemed relative and prone to one’s personal opinion, not based on hard facts like science.
I bit my lip and said, “Probably good. Cloud shows regret for her bad decisions, and a bad pony wouldn't feel regret for most of the things she does. Rainbow Dash also really likes her, and I can't see my friend hanging out with somepony that is rotten to the core.”
Princess Luna seemed to think that over for a few seconds before nodding. “I have made my own mistakes, and had cause to lament them.”
I didn’t want to say so, but going insane and trying to create eternal darkness that would most likely kill everything on the planet was quite the mistake. One that could get you a thousand-year banishment.
She closed her eyes and again seemed to think to herself for a time before asking another question. “If she transgressed against thee, wouldst thou forgive her?”
Now that was an excellent question. It was one I had been struggling with for the last few days as I considered how best to deal with Cloud going into the future. Upon reflecting on it, and one of Princess Luna’s earlier comments, wouldn’t I forgive Cloud? Nightmare Moon had nearly caused untold chaos and destruction, but here I was, talking with Princess Luna like none of that had ever happened. And that had been after she had gone through no small effort at trying to keep me and my friends from trying to find the Elements of Harmony, and would have done who knows what else if she had remained free. And yet I had forgiven Princess Luna. True, she could be a bit cold and distant at times, but she was trying to be a good pony now.
Next to all of that, a few off-color jokes from Cloud seemed minor in comparison. It felt petty when I looked at it in those terms. Besides, I was a better mare than to let that type of thing bother me. At the very least, I could stand up for myself to make Cloud stop bothering me. I had a say in how our relationship was defined, after all. She didn’t have to dominate it, especially if she made me uncomfortable, and she had said she didn’t want to make me uncomfortable in the first place. Yes, I was starting to prefer this new line of thinking to my own. Perhaps I had gotten my nose so buried in the book I couldn’t read the words?
Thinking it over carefully, I said, “If she was sorry about what she did and doesn’t keep doing what upset me, sure. I'm always willing to forgive somepony if they're willing to try to be better.”
“Interesting.” She turned to pace about the library. “Thou find’st her to be a good mare. This is useful information.”
“Wait, it is?” I quirked an eyebrow at this, but I was going to accept it for now. If the princess was pleased, then it meant I wasn’t going to fail. That was a life-saver I was more than happy to grasp onto. “What else would you like to know?”
She nodded. “As for my next question: dost thou consider her comely?”
I blinked. “Excuse me?”
“From all I have heard, I am sure that she has propositioned thee,” she said. “Didst thou find her comely enough to consider the offer?”
One of the things I hadn’t expected from this project was that it would become personal. I wasn’t sure how to respond other than to answer the princess’s question as best I could. I couldn’t just allow myself to fail. “I, um, I didn't seriously consider it. I've never really thought about things like that. I mean, I always thought I would get into an arranged marriage and that would be that. Not to mention I've been too busy with my studies to date or consider romantic pursuits, so it never occurred to me to seriously consider Cloud's ... propositions.”
“And now that the thought has occurred?” The princess asked curiously.
“Aesthetically speaking, she is physically attractive,” I hedged. “Tall without being lanky, well-muscled without it detracting from her appearance, and an attractive mane. At least by conventional measures of such things, which are based on societal norms. Her facial features are also in the upper twenty percent for ponies, I would think.”
She hummed to herself. “So dost thou find her comely?”
I shuffled in place. Why did she have to ask such a personal question? “Err, yes, I guess so.”
Her mouth quirked into a mischievous edge. “Canst thou imagine any circumstance in which thou wouldst bed her?”
I felt my cheeks burn. Drawing on my previous thoughts on Cloud Kicker, I remembered that I could just ask the princess to stop if I was too uncomfortable. I considered doing just that, but I did seem to be turning things around for this conversation, and I didn’t want to destroy all my progress. Keeping that in mind, I said, “Maybe if I married her?”
“Ah. I see.” Princess Luna paused and raised an eyebrow. “Wouldst thou consider speaking with thy parents about arranging such?”
I coughed on empty air. “M-me? Marry Cloud Kicker? But that's ... I can't ... what?!”
A grin worked onto her face. “There are some merits to it. You belong to a powerful and important noble house, and she is a member of the patrician family of the Kicker Clan. It is my understanding that there is a bit of a rift between your families over your brother becoming Captain of the Guard, but a marriage could help repair that divide.”
“No. Just no. I mean I've never seriously considered it with anypony.” I wondered how concrete that thought process was anymore after the recent revelations involving my parents and their love lives. It felt like I was on quicksand with some of my old ways of thinking these days. It didn’t help that the princess was giving some technically compelling reasons to consider such a match. If my parents ever heard of the idea...
Princess Luna gave me a knowing smile that made me wonder exactly what she was thinking. “Is that so? Very well, then. I am well pleased with thy results.”
I returned a hopeful smile of my own. “You are?”
“Aye, perhaps the initial failings were on my account.” She hummed to herself, as though musing something over. “Thou canst not give the proper answer until the correct question is asked. I will make sure to be more clear if I should ask a similar thing of you at a later point.”
“It does tend to help to know what the question is when trying to come up with an answer,” I said cautiously.
“Exactly.” She stood and made her way to the door. “Very well then. If thou wilt excuse me, I have other business to attend to ere the world awakens, but this has been most productive. My thanks.”
“Of course, Princess.” I moved towards the door and opened it for her. “Did you need anything else before you leave?”
The Princess of the Moon shook her head as she exited the library. “Neigh, but I thank thee for the offer.”
“Okay then.” I stood in the doorway as I watched her leave. “Um, would you still like a written report?”
“I think it moot now, but let us see it done for the sake of completion.”
“I'll get right to work on that then.” I suddenly felt like a huge weight had been pulled off my back. This was it, it was over! I wouldn’t have to do this project anymore once I was done with the written portion of it. “I should have it done in a couple of days.”
Princess Luna gave me a smile. “Excellent, then. Fare thee well, Twilight Sparkle.”
“Bye, Princess Luna!” I waved. “Have a good night!”
The princess waved at me before turning away. Her horn glowed and then a black hole the size of a door opened into reality. She casually strode into the rift, and it closed behind her.
I had to all but push my jaw up at the sudden and unexpected show of powerful magic. She had made it seem casual, but I knew that opening holes in reality was not an easy task. I had read about using the Dreamscape as a form of transportation for powerful magi, and it was something I had thought of trying someday. Though it was somewhat dangerous and not something you casually did. Extraplanar travel came with a number of risks. Still... “I really need to learn how to do that someday,” I said as I closed the door.
There are days where having virtually instantaneous communications with the princesses lead to issues.
"Twilight!” Rainbow had burst in this morning and was shaking me. “I need to send a letter to Luna right now!” She looked around frantically. "Where's Spike!?" Not even bothering to wait for an answer, she zipped right up the library stairs. Being a mare of action, she had probably decided to go searching for Spike herself.
Despite my curiosity, I couldn’t help but feel irritated over the sudden interruption in my day. Still, I had to wonder what was so important that Rainbow Dash had felt the need to come storming into the library. I really hoped that I didn't need to save Equestria again. Dealing with another apocalypse was not something I needed right now.
Determined to get to the bottom of this, I teleported upstairs. She was giving a scroll to Spike.
"Hurry!" Her wings fluttered anxiously. "Send it, send it now!"
Spike took in a breath to send it to Princess Luna. I quickly seized the scroll and yanked it away in time to keep it from being sent.
Rainbow Dash turned a scowl on me. "Hey, what gives!?"
"Rainbow, you can't just send mail to the princesses." I waved the scroll at her. "Not unless it's an emergency ... or a friendship report," I amended. "So I want to know if we’ve got a real emergency on our hooves, or if this is some kind of super important, just-has-to-get-to-the-princesses-now emergency friendship report before we send this off."
"Do emergency friendship reports exist?" Spike asked, sounding less than convinced.
"No," I said firmly. "Not unless something happens like me learning something so important about friendship that I gain enlightenment and become some sort of divine being."
Spike raised an eyebrow at that. “You’re joking about that, right?”
I nodded. “Yes.” I frowned, thinking it over. “Probably. Look, with the way my life has been going over the last couple of years, I can’t completely rule anything out.”
"Hello!" Rainbow Dash tapped her hoof on the floor. “Think we could get on with the dragonfire and send my letter already?” She made a grab for the scroll, but I pulled it out of her reach.
"Just tell me why this is so important first and then I'll let you send it," I said.
Rainbow Dash groaned and ran her hoof down her face. “Fiiine! Cloud got arrested in Cloudsdale, and I wanna use that favor Luna owes me to get her off the hook.”
“What? What happened? Why is she in jail?” Rainbow wanted to use her favor to help get Cloud out of jail? The princess had given each of the Element Bearers a boon after we had freed her, and a personal favor from one of the most powerful beings in Equestria was no small thing. That was a chip Rainbow Dash could cash in for any number of important things.
Rainbow Dash let out a deep-throated sigh. “The dumbflank hit on Luna. So she had her arrested, or something dumb like that. Whatever, just send the letter to help her out already.”
Wait, Princess Luna had met Cloud Kicker in Cloudsdale? It had only been the previous night that Princess Luna had dropped in to receive my impromptu report. Were these two events linked? It would seem to stretch credulity that they weren’t. Especially after some of Princess Luna’s more personal questions about Cloud Kicker. But how were these two events related? A creeping suspicion within me wondered if my entire project had been towards a different goal than what I had been told. I didn’t have enough information to know exactly what was going on, but I had a feeling I wasn’t going to be happy with why I had gone through so much trouble with this project.
“Is that all you know?” I opened the scroll to see exactly what she had written. To my consternation, Rainbow Dash’s chicken scratch writing had degraded to something approaching some obscure or lost language in her haste.
“Yeah, I just got word from some pegasi flying in from Cloudsdale,” Rainbow Dash said impatiently. “S’why I wanna get Cloud off the hook before she gets herself banished or sent to the palace dungeons forever.”
“Both of those things are unlikely to happen.” I brought the scroll to my desk and laid out a new scroll to write on. “At least I don’t think Luna would banish somepony over something like this.”
“Well, I don’t want one of my friends in jail anyways.” She looked over my shoulder. “What’re you doing? I already wrote my letter. Just send it already.”
“I’m not sending a letter to the princess with bad penmareship or bad grammar,” I said firmly. I mean really, Rainbow Dash hadn’t even written the proper titles one should use when addressing a princess for something like a pardon. Or for something like anything. “And taking the time to make sure your letter is written correctly will really help make a good impression on Princess Luna and increase the chances she will accept your request. Trust me.”
Rainbow Dash grumbled something under her breath, but otherwise let me rewrite her letter. I could have sat down and helped her write it herself, but with her desire for speed, I figured it was best to go ahead and write for her. We could always work on the quality of her writing and how one was supposed to write to a princess at a less pressing time.
I took a moment from writing to look Rainbow Dash in the eyes. “Now are you really sure about using your boon with Princess Luna like this? I mean it’s possible that Cloud is just going to spend a couple of days in prison and that’s it, and even you admitted that you don’t know everything that is going on. Also, you could do a lot with a favor from a princess. Probably even get into the Wonderbolts.”
She snorted. “No way, if I’m gonna get into the Wonderbolts, it’s gonna be because I’m totally awesome enough to be a Wonderbolt. And if I can’t use something like this to help a friend I’ve known since Flight Camp, then what use is it?”
I wondered what it was exactly that drew such loyalty from Rainbow Dash towards Cloud Kicker. Rainbow Dash was, of course, the most loyal pony around, but that didn’t mean she would go quite this far out of her way for anypony. It seemed that Cloud Kicker really did mean something to Rainbow Dash. Of course, I would go to great lengths for any of my friends, I could understand where she was coming from.
“It’s your call then.” I finished the rewrite and sealed it up. “If Cloud means that much to you as a friend, then I’ll support you.” I gave the letter to Spike.
Rainbow Dash let out a relieved sigh as Spike sent the letter with a burst of dragonfire. “Thanks, Twi. That’s a huuuge weight off my shoulders.”
I wrapped a leg around Spike’s shoulders. “Well you can thank Spike for the fast mailing.”
Spike looked down at the ground and scuffed his foot on the floor. “Aw, shucks, it isn’t anything big.”
“It’s still pretty cool, little guy.” Rainbow Dash playfully punched him in the shoulder. “Not just anypony—anydragon—whatever, can do what you do.” She looked to me. “So when are we gonna get a reply back?”
“Hard to say,” I admitted. “It depends on exactly how busy Princess Luna is right now and when she reads the letter.” On reflection, we really needed to develop a system for how important my letters to the princesses were. I always read their letters right away when I got them, but the princesses were, well, the princesses. They had priorities and responsibilities.
Rainbow Dash let out an annoyed groan. “Great, waiting. I hate waiting. Meanwhile, my friend is rotting in a cell somewhere.”
“I’m sure she won’t be in trouble for too much longer,” I assured her. “This should all get resolved in less than a day, if I had to guess.”
She sighed. “Guess that’s something. Can you find me if you get a letter back or anything? I have to get back to work.”
I went about putting my writing supplies back in their proper places. “Sure thing. I’ll come right away if I get word.” I knew from personal experience how torturous waiting on important news could be, especially where somepony you cared about was concerned.
Rainbow Dash took off towards the window. “Cool, see you two later.”
I waved as she left. “Bye, Dash.”
Spike waved too. “Yeah, see you later.”
With Rainbow Dash gone, I had to wonder how this latest event was going to affect the report I was about to write.
It had not taken long for Spike’s pet phoenix to hatch, and that meant it was time to take the chick to see Fluttershy. Best to make sure we were feeding him right, in addition to other concerns. After all, Spike needed gems in his diet, and that wasn’t something I had exactly expected when he had hatched. So a creature such as a phoenix might have other unusual eating habits too. I would make sure to send a letter to Princess Celestia after we visited Fluttershy. Might as well cover all my bases for information. I had already added some books to my reading list that should help on this topic.
“It’s so cool having a pet of my own, you know that, Twilight?” Spike beamed at the little baby phoenix that was now perched on his talons.
“I bet.” I looked back to Spike. It always was a bit awkward facing him when he was sitting on my back. “But you realize that a pet is a huge responsibility, right? You’re going to have to feed, water, groom, and take care of all of his other needs.”
“Don’t worry, I got this.” He chuckled to himself. “I take care of you, don’t I?”
“Oh, ha-ha, Spike.” I rolled my eyes. “I can take care of myself, you know.”
“How many times do I have to remind you to eat every week?” Spike asked.
I kept trotting along the path to Fluttershy’s home, both the physical and verbal paths we were traveling being familiar to me. “Just sometimes.”
“More like all the time,” Spike shot back. “Not to mention reminding you to sleep. Or when you’re supposed to meet your friends. Or—”
“I get it, Spike,” I said, trying to put good humor forward instead of irritation. To be fair, Spike did help me out a lot. He would probably be fine with taking care of a pet. Thus far, he had handled every responsibility I had given him. "And point made, you're ready to have a pet now. I just wanted to be sure that you understood what you're getting into."
"Yeah, yeah." Spike tickled Peewee under the chin. "I've got this. I promise."
We reached Fluttershy’s cottage, and I knocked on the door. After a few moments, she opened the door and gave us a smile.
“Oh, hello, Twilight, Spike," she said. "I wasn't expecting you." Her eyes turned to Spike and Peewee. "Oh my, is that what I think it is?" She stepped outside to get a better look at Peewee.
Spike's mouth split into a big grin. "If you're thinking it's a phoenix then you'd be right." He held out his new pet for Fluttershy. "Say hello, Peewee."
The baby phoenix gave a happy little chirp.
"Oh, he's so cute." Fluttershy gave the bird a gentle little pat to the head. "Wherever did you find him?"
Spike's grin became all the prouder. "It's a pretty crazy story.”
“Oh?” She opened the door wider for us. “How about you come on in then? I could make a fresh pot of tea for if you like. You can tell me the story while I do that.”
“Sounds good to me,” I said as I stepped inside.
Fluttershy went to her kitchen, and we followed her. She put a kettle onto the stove, and Spike recounted the story about the dragon migration and how he came to own Peewee. More than a little bit of me was proud of Spike for all that he had gone through. There was a lot of anxiety in there, too, but in the end it had all turned out alright.
“Wow, that is quite the story, Spike.” Fluttershy smiled, but I noticed a hint of tension to it.
Spike grinned. “Mhm, and now I’ve got a new pet! He’s great! We’re gonna have so much fun together.”
“We thought we would ask you about taking care of a newborn phoenix,” I said. “I remember you said that the princess sent you some reading material about phoenixes, and that you talked about Philomena with her.”
“I see.” Fluttershy picked up the teapot. “How about we sit in the dining room to drink? We have some things to talk about.”
“That would be fine,” I said.
I had to wonder why Fluttershy was acting so skittish all of a sudden. I would have figured she would be over the moon at the idea of Spike getting a pet. She had literally dragged Rainbow Dash to her cottage so that she could help her select a pet. What was different here?
We sat down at Fluttershy’s dining room table. Fluttershy poured all of us a cup of tea. “Now then, how much do you two know about phoenixes?” Fluttershy said as she sat down.
Spike shrugged. “Not much.”
“Quite a bit from my readings.” I sipped at my tea. It was a pretty mild brew. Fluttershy never seemed to like her teas too strong. “Though not much on actually raising one. I’ll be fixing that here soon, but I figured it would be good to talk to you about it first. You gave a lot of useful advice for Owlicious”
“Thank you, Twilight.” Fluttershy stirred her tea for a moment. “So did you know that phoenixes are sapient?”
I worked to recall what I did know about the fiery birds. “I do remember that. Philomena did seem pretty intelligent considering she played a big prank on all of us.”
“Great, so Peewee’s going to be really smart.” Spike said, petting the bird. “Who's a smart bird? You are, you are!”
“Yes.” Fluttershy chewed on her lower lip. “Now, you said that Peewee’s parents had been driven off by those bullies, but they and the rest of his family were otherwise okay?”
Spike frowned. “Yeah, why?”
I had a sinking feeling about where this conversation was going and that Spike wasn’t going to like it.
My friend took a long moment before answering. “Well, Spike, you need to understand that family is really important. Everyone should be with their family whenever possible. Especially sapient creatures that are social like phoenixes.”
Spike blinked a couple of times and then drew Peewee to his chest to hug him. “But Peewee is with his family. We’re his family.”
“I know, but...” Fluttershy let out a long breath. “Peewee should be with his parents and siblings. At least if we can find them again. It’s only right.”
“B-but I can take care of him!” Spike protested. “I’m really good with helping, and chores, and everything! I’m really responsible and help Twilight with everything around the library. I can raise Peewee. Promise.”
“I’m sure you could, Spike.” Fluttershy placed a hoof on Spike’s shoulder. “But we need to think about what is in Peewee’s best interests here, and that is taking him back to his family. That is where he belongs.”
He scowled at Fluttershy. “Princess Celestia gets to have a pet phoenix. Why can’t I?”
"That’s a bit different," Fluttershy said gently. "Philomena is an adult and can make her own decisions, but Peewee is still a baby."
Rather than argue with Fluttershy, Spike turned to me with a begging frown. "You're not gonna let her take Peewee away from me, are you, Twilight?"
This was not the scenario I had imagined getting myself into when I had come to see Fluttershy, to say the least. After the long journey to follow the dragon migration and seeing just how happy Spike was at the idea of having a pet, I hadn't really thought all the implications through. Now I was looking at either making one of my best friends unhappy with me or really hurting Spike's feelings. Just looking at him I could tell that taking Peewee back to his family was going to devastate him. The thing was that Fluttershy knew what she was talking about when it came to animals. If she said that Peewee needed to go back to his parents, then it was probably true.
Probably sensing my reluctance, Fluttershy spoke in a serious tone to me. "Twilight, I want you to do the right thing here. I realize it isn't easy, but Peewee deserves to grow up with his family."
Spike slammed a fist onto the table, knocking over his teacup in the process. "We are his family! This isn’t any different from how Twilight came to be my big sister. She hatched me and helped raise me. How is this any different?"
I winced at that. This was becoming very personal to Spike. I needed to head this off before it became any worse.
“Spike,” Fluttershy said in her compassionate tone. “How would you feel if someone took you from Twilight, said they were your family now? I bet it wouldn’t feel very good.”
“I know that this isn’t what you’re going to want to hear, but Fluttershy is probably right,” I said, trying to hit the right balance between authority and compassion. “Peewee belongs with his family. Part of this situation is my fault for not considering that when we first picked him up, but things were a bit hectic after we ran away from those other dragons. For that, I’m sorry, but sometimes we need to own up and do what needs to be done.”
Spike sniffled and his voice cracked when he spoke. “This isn’t fair. I just got him.”
“I know, I know.” I nuzzled Spike. “And I’m really, really sorry that this is hurting you. Trust me, I’m not wild about this either.”
Fluttershy gave him an encouraging smile. “Maybe once he’s all grown up he will come and visit you? That would be really nice.”
“Maybe,” Spike said, sounding less than convinced.
“We could always get you another pet after we take Peewee back,” I offered.
Spike scowled and hugged Peewee closer. “I don’t want another pet, I want Peewee.”
“I’m sorry, but this is just the way it has to be,” I said more firmly.
“It’s not fair.” Spike rubbed at his eyes.
“No, no it isn’t.” I drew him into a hug. “Sometimes life isn’t. Trust me, I know all about that.”
“I know it hurts,” Fluttershy said. “But sometimes you need to do something that hurts because it’s what you have to do.”
Spike didn’t reply and he just hugged and stroked Peewee. It seemed that my number one assistant had lost all the fight in him. It couldn’t have been easy on him to have two adults telling him to do something he really didn’t want to do. Still, I was going to give him what support I could in this difficult moment. I could do that much for him, at least.
“If you want, I can take Peewee back for you,” I said. “You don’t have to go through that.” It might be a bit difficult to find the phoenix nest again, but with my magic, I should be able to manage it.
“No, I want to come.” Spike’s shoulders slumped. “I want to be able to say goodbye when we take him back.” He continued absent-mindedly petting Peewee.
“That’s very brave of you, Spike.” I gave him another nuzzle. “I’ll try and make it up to you later.”
“I’ll come along too.” Fluttershy bit her lip. “When did you want to go? It might be best to get right on that. I’m sure Peewee’s parents are very worried about him, and this won’t become easier on anyone the longer we wait.”
“It might be best to wait a couple of days. We already got back from a big trip yesterday.” I turned back to Spike. “You going to be okay with that?”
He shrugged. “I guess.”
Great, after days of misery, I finally get one real ray of sunshine and hope, and it gets snuffed out just like that.
After a couple of days where Spike seemed to work in as much bonding time as he could with Peewee, the four of us headed out to take the baby phoenix back to his parents. I led the way, considering I had actually been to the forest Peewee had come from and Spike was, little surprise, in dour spirits. The goal of our journey made the trip a subdued one. Fluttershy and I struck up a couple of conversations along the way, but they had been stilted and usually ended awkwardly. It was difficult to be too happy with Spike being so glum. I would need to find some way to make all this up to him, somehow.
Fluttershy ducked under a branch that hung over the trail we were using. "So, at least the weather is nice."
Seeing that Fluttershy was taking refuge in the old fallback of talking about the weather, I nodded. "That is true. Given how my last couple of weeks have gone, I would have expected it to be raining or hailing." I snorted. "Or have a straight up natural disaster like a tornado."
"Oh dear, has it been that bad?" Fluttershy asked. "I know those bullies Sticks and Stones had hurt you, but has everything been that rough?"
I sighed. "More or less. It's just..." I caught myself before I could say more about the issues I had dealt with over the couple of weeks. My gaze turned to Spike, who was sitting right on my back. Peewee sat on his shoulder. Spike hadn't let anypony else hold him since we started.
I didn't want him hearing about things like what I had found out about Amethyst quite yet. He certainly didn't need to have that dumped on him at a time like this.
Great, yet another moment where I was sounding like my parents. I wondered if I was going to become just as good as my parents at creating excuses to delay revealing the truth.
Spike must have noticed my glance, because he immediately frowned back at me. "Yeah, I get it. You don't want to talk around me," he said bitterly. He hopped off my back. "I'll walk on ahead. Whatever."
"Spike, stop." I groaned and rubbed my forehead. "How about we sit down for a few minutes to take a break?" I knew I could use some time getting my head together. I was trying to stay strong for Spike and be tolerant of his general grouchiness, but it was wearing on me.
"Alright then." Fluttershy looked around. "Over there in that clearing looks like a nice place."
"Whatever." Spike started walking towards the clearing. "I'll just be ... standing around, I guess." He grumbled something else under his breath and eventually stopped to sit under one of the trees surrounding the clearing. There he stroked Peewee along the head and whispered something to the phoenix that I couldn't hear.
I sighed and hung my head. "Sorry about Spike being moody."
"Oh, it's alright. I understand he's upset about this." She made a soft sigh. "I know it's the right thing to do, but that doesn't make it any easier."
"You're telling me." I rubbed my face. I felt just felt so tired and worn out all of a sudden. "It's going to take forever to make this up to him. No kid likes losing their pet. Whatever the reason might be."
"Oh, it won't be that bad," she tried to reassure me. "Spike is really mature. I’m sure he’ll come around."
I walked over to one of the other trees by the clearing, one well away from Spike. I got the sense that he really wanted his space right now. Neither Fluttershy nor I were his favorite ponies at the moment. "Maybe, but he's never had a pet before."
"Oh dear," Fluttershy sat down with me by the tree. "That's going to make it harder. I could get him another pet. I’m really good at that.”
“That is something, at least,” I said. “Though Spike didn’t seem too keen on the idea when I suggested it to him. Maybe I’ll ask him again once he’s had some time to cool down.”
“That might help,” Fluttershy said with a nod. “I wish I could do more to help, but..."
"I know, I know. It's just a bad situation all around." I let out frustrated groan. "There has been a lot of that going around."
"Twilight?" she asked gently. "Is there something else bothering you?"
"You could say that." I said grudgingly. "Mainly because it's true. I've been getting kicked around a lot recently."
"Twilight, you're one of my very best friends." She put one of her hooves on mine. "If something's wrong, you can always tell me and I'll be there to help."
"If you really don't mind." I had been wanting to talk to Fluttershy for a bit now. As Dash had said, she really is a good listener when you have a problem, and boy did I have problems. "Though this is the kind of stuff I don't really want getting spread around. It's ... heavy."
"Twilight, you know I'd never give away your secrets," she said reassuringly.
I leaned back against the tree, feeling a bit guilty over thinking, however briefly, that Fluttershy might not be able to keep a secret. "Sorry, it's just that I've been through a lot the past few weeks."
She wrapped a gentle wing around me. "I understand."
Realizing that Spike wasn't that far away, I cast a privacy spell around Fluttershy and myself. The air shimmered a bit as the spell went up. That done, I leaned into Fluttershy's warm embrace. "Where to even start?" I shook my head. "There’s so much to cover."
Fluttershy gave me a small little nuzzle. "Start with the thing that's bothering you the least, and work your way up to the big stuff. That should be easier on you, I think."
That seemed logical enough. There was a good chance that we wouldn't get very far if we started with the biggest stuff first. "Okay then. So, there is the whole research project I've been doing with Cloud. But you know the basics about that. Just ... Luna came by the previous night, and well, she said it was over. She asked me a few questions, I answered them as best I could, and then she said was satisfied. Just like that, it was over. I still have to write a paper, but I don't expect much trouble with that."
"Oh. Well that's good, isn't it?" she asked.
"I guess. Maybe." I sighed. "But something is off about it. Um, did you hear the news from Cloudsdale about Cloud?"
Fluttershy shuffled uncomfortably in place. "Er, yes. That. I did." She looked away from me and towards one of the neighboring trees.
"Er, right." I remembered that the subject tended to make her uncomfortable. Still, I wanted to explain what I was feeling to her. "She was arrested the same night Luna came to see me. I'm not exactly sure how, but I think it's related."
Fluttershy wrung her hooves. "Is she okay? Have you heard anything? Luna said she owes us a favor, right? I should do something to help Cloud..."
I held up a hoof to stop her. "Dash already used her favor to get Cloud out of jail. Most likely she'll be just fine." At least that had been one crisis solved. I still wasn't sure about Rainbow Dash using her favor like that. It seemed more prudent to me to find out exactly what had happened and see what sort of punishment Cloud might have been facing. Shame Rainbow Dash didn't have much in the way of patience, but it was her favor with Princess Luna to use as she liked.
Though on second thought, why had Fluttershy also seemed willing to use her own favor for Cloud Kicker? Rainbow Dash I could readily understand considering the two of them were friends. But I hadn't ever seen Fluttershy and Cloud Kicker even exchange a word before. Maybe it was related to what had happened at Flight Camp? Something had occurred there that had made everypony I spoke to about it uncomfortable. Maybe they had been friends at Flight Camp before something happened? They did have mutual friends in Rainbow Dash and Ditzy Doo.
It was a shame I couldn't just ask Fluttershy about it. That would have been the most expedient way to find the truth, but I had the feeling that would cause Fluttershy to clam up.
"Oh. Alright." She sighed, though if it was out of relief or sadness I couldn't tell. "Well, that's good then."
"Probably. Dash was certainly relieved." I shook my head. "Every time I think I have Cloud down, something new like this comes up. It's frustrating."
Instead of giving me words of encouragement like I had expected, Fluttershy wrapped her forelegs around herself and remained silent.
"Great, and now I've made you uncomfortable," I groaned. It seemed that I had pressed too hard already on the Cloud Kicker front. "Sorry about that."
"Can we please not talk about her any more?" She asked so softly that I almost thought I had imagined it.
"Sure." I looked away from her. "Forget about it." This talk was sure going great.
Neither of us spoke for a time. Spike had found a log to sit on and was still petting Peewee while talking about something with him. At least that was my guess given the way he emphatically waved his free arm around. I could only guess what he was talking to Peewee about. Probably nothing happy considering his current troubles.
"There were other things bothering you, right?" Fluttershy asked, nearly startling me by suddenly breaking the silence.
"Y-yes." I cleared my throat. "Though I should warn you that Cloud was probably the thing that bothered me the least at the moment. From here it only gets heavier."
She grimaced at that. "Oh dear..."
"I've been getting into those change everything about your life type of issues."
"That sounds rather ... large," she said.
"That’s one way to put it." Considering how well this talk had gone thus far, I was not sure I wanted to continue. "If you don't want me bothering you with something like that, I'd understand."
"No no," Fluttershy gave me a comforting squeeze with her wing. "I would be delighted to help in any way you need."
"If you're sure..." She nodded. "I'm pretty sure this isn't true, but..." I took a breath to steady myself. "There is a remote, distant possibility that my big brother is Dinky's father."
Fluttershy's eyes widened. "Oh my goodness!"
I held up my hooves. "Remember, it's a remote possibility. All I really have to support the theory is that my big brother was in the same school as Ditzy when Dinky was conceived, and vaguely fits the description of the stallion she was with, but it could all just be coincidence. Unicorns with a white coat aren't exactly uncommon in Canterlot."
While I knew this was a sensitive topic for Ditzy, I figured it was at least somewhat okay to talk to Fluttershy about it considering the two of them were friends. Fluttershy must have known at least as much as I did about Dinky's parentage, and I needed to talk to somepony about this. A mutual friend seemed as safe a bet as any.
Fluttershy bit on her lower lip. "That's still a very big deal, Twilight. If there is a chance that it's true..."
"I know, I know." I groaned and ruffled my mane in frustration. "It's been eating me up inside not telling anypony about it."
"Then you need to find out for sure, for your own peace of mind, if nothing else." She gave me another comforting nuzzle. "And if it's true, then Derpy would want to know. Certainly Dinky would too. Everypony wants to know who their parents are."
"You're probably right." I nuzzled her, feeling reassured by the contact. "But how do I go about something like that? 'Hey Ditzy, mind if I take a blood sample from Dinky on the remote chance my big brother knocked you up?' "
Fluttershy winced. "Oh. I guess that does make it a bit complicated."
"More than a little bit." It wouldn't exactly be kind to raise Ditzy's hopes of finding Dinky's father only to then immediately crush them just for my peace of mind. That didn't even get into the unlikely chance that it was true. "I don't want to turn their whole world upside down. They haven't done anything to deserve that."
"Well..." Fluttershy seemed to struggle with what to say. "I suppose you could always ask. Or try to find a spell. Or ... well, I don't know what. But I know that you'll do the right thing. You're really smart and good at coming up with answers for problems."
"Shame this isn't as easy or clear-cut as math or physics." I leaned my head back against the tree while I thought. "I guess the right thing to do is find out for certain."
"Sometimes you have to be direct, because there's no delicate way to do it," she said with gentle firmness. "Sometimes my animals don’t want to take their medicine, but I have to make them take it for their own good. Even if neither of us like it."
"That is true," I agreed. "Probably best not to delay too long on that. It's not going to get any easier with time."
Fluttershy gave me a smile. "Then it seems you know what to do."
I nodded. "I'll start looking into it when we get back." While I still felt a lot of trepidation, I did feel at least a bit better now that I had a course in mind. Sure, there were a lot of steps I still had to work out, but it was a lot better than being paralyzed by indecision.
"What else is there?" she asked, probably sensing that I was ready to move on.
"Right, this is where we start getting into the heavy stuff." I took a few seconds to steady myself and decide how best to make my next statement. "I have two half-sisters that I didn't know about until a few days ago."
"Oh my goodness!" Fluttershy covered her mouth with her hooves. "Twilight, that's..."
I let my head hang. "Yeah, it's nuts. Turns out my parents have been having extramarital affairs that I didn't even know about. Each of them had a mare to the side that they were involved with. Have been since before I was born. All those years they were open about it with one another ... but never with me."
“Oh dear.” She drew me into a closer hug. “I—I don't know what to say. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling.”
I leaned against her and let her support me. “It's been pretty rough. I have trouble even wrapping my head around the idea. All these years they've been hiding this from me."
Fluttershy puckered her lips in thought. "That is ... yes. While it was probably wrong of them to keep everything secret from you, I certainly wouldn't expect your parents to discuss all the details of their personal lives with you. Especially when you were younger. I mean look how much it's upsetting you right now. Imagine if they had told you when you were still a filly."
"I probably wouldn't have handled it well, no." I sighed and laid my head on her shoulder. "I've just been trying to pull myself together so that I can think about it rationally. It was one thing for my parents to have lied to me about sleeping around, it was another thing entirely with my siblings. I can understand the point about them being allowed to run their personal lives how they want to as long as they aren’t hurting anypony, but I should have been told that I had sisters out there at some point."
"Yes, they probably should have told you by the time you became an adult," she said. "Though I imagine it was hard for them to bring this up."
"I guess." I shrugged. "There is so much to wrap my head around. And all at once."
"That is why we're talking about it right now." Fluttershy gave me a nuzzle that helped calm me down. "It is a lot to adjust to. We're so used to seeing parents one way, and then..."
"Yes, exactly." I nodded. "I just never imagined all of this. My parents always seemed so happy and normal ... by my standards anyways. My life is a bit crazy if you haven't noticed."
"I understand." She gave my leg a gentle pat. "I know it must be very upsetting for you. Anypony would have at least some trouble with something like this."
I sighed, remembering how I had reacted once I had found the truth of everything. "Yeah, I didn't take it well when I found out."
Fluttershy's mouth turned into a concerned frown. "I hope you didn't do anything you’ll regret."
"Um." All the embarrassing moments of my conduct when I had returned to Sparkle Manor after meeting Vinyl Scratch came to the forefront of my mind. "I kind of went in and confronted my parents when I found out about my first half-sister. Loudly."
Fluttershy let out a patiently understanding sigh. “Oh no...”
"It wasn’t my best move, no," I admitted. "We were talking things through about their relationship and one of my half-sisters, Vinyl Scratch, and then... I found out they had lied to me about my other half-sister, Amethyst." I swallowed when my throat feeling tight. "She wasn't stillborn like my parents had told me. They had given her up for adoption when they found out she was illegitimate."
Fluttershy’s jaw dropped. “They lied to you about that?”
I nodded, sniffling as I continued speaking. "That was ... I couldn't take that."
"Oh. I..." It took her a few seconds to go on. "Twilight, I know I should tell you that there's no excuse for losing your temper, but..."
I wrapped my forelegs around myself. "How are you supposed to react to something like that? They gave her away to be an orphan because—because of politics!"
"I don't know." She hugged me all the tighter. It didn't end the pain, but it helped. "I wish I had the answers for you, but I don't."
My chest heaved as I started sobbing. I couldn't hold it back anymore. Not after coming out with the truth to Fluttershy. All I could do was cry into her shoulder while she held me.
"Shhh." Fluttershy stroked my mane while cooing softly. "Everything will be alright."
"How is this going to be alright?" I choked out between sobs.
"It will," she assured me.
"I feel like such a mess," I said. "It's like everything is falling apart. I'm not even sure where to go from here, right now."
"It'll be alright, Twilight. I promise." Fluttershy kept stroking my mane. "I'm here for you. And while I know it hurts right now, I also know that you're strong enough to get through this. You can deal with anything you put your mind to."
"Right now all it does is hurt. I can sort out some of that stuff, but all of it together?" I shook my head.
She gently shushed me and rocked me in place. I wasn't sure how long we sat there while I bawled my eyes out. All I could do was sob and hold onto the gentle warmth of Fluttershy.
"Sorry," I eventually managed to croak out. My crying was slowing now, and I was regaining control of my emotions. That was something at least. "I kind of dumped all of that on you."
"It's alright, Twilight," she said. "It seems like you really needed that, and I’m happy to help."
"Thanks for understanding." I nuzzled her. "I've always liked that about you."
Fluttershy returned my nuzzle. "You're very nice too, Twilight."
"Ugh." I wiped at my nose, not wanting to think about what was coming out of it. "Still going to need to figure out what I'm doing."
She pulled a handkerchief out from her saddlebags and helped wipe my nose. It made me feel like a little filly when she did that, but I knew she was only trying to help me. "I'm sure you'll find the right answers."
"I'll have to figure something out," I said. "I can't avoid my parents forever. And I want to see Amethyst at some point."
"Do you know where she is?" Fluttershy asked.
I let out an exhausted breath. "Sort of. Princess Celestia gave me her address. Though I haven't looked at it yet. The princess told me not to go find her until I was ready." I waved at myself. "Call me crazy, but being an emotional wreck and crying at the drop of a hat isn't exactly ready to me."
"I'm sure you'll get there." My nose cleaned up, Fluttershy moved to wiping at my eyes. "And I think that is good advice the princess gave you. Meeting your sister needs to be done in just the right way. You don't want to overturn her entire life if you can help it."
I sighed and nodded. “That is the conclusion I came to.”
“I know you're strong enough to handle this, Twilight.” She gave me a smile. “You always have been.”
“Okay, okay, I get it already.” I grinned at her. “You think I can handle all of this. Point taken.”
“Oh, sorry.” Fluttershy’s smile turned into a sheepish one. “Was I repeating myself? I was just trying so hard to think of something to say that would make everything better and...” She trailed off and gave a helpless shrug.
I chuckled. “It's fine, Fluttershy, really. I know you’re just trying to help. And really, I do feel better now.”
“You do?” she asked.
“Yep, I feel a lot more confident about moving forward now.” I leaned back against her and stared out at the empty meadow. “And it means a whole lot to me that you're here for me. Being able to get a lot of this off my chest with you really helped.”
“Of course I'm here for you.” Her gaze went out to the meadow with mine. “You're one of my best friends.”
“Right back at you.” I nuzzled her, enjoying the feel of her soft fur. “Don't know what I would do without you.”
“I didn't do anything all that special,” Fluttershy said. “I only did what any good friend would have.”
“It was special to me.” I felt my cheeks start to burn.
“Well, I was just glad to be able to help.” Her attention turned to where Spike was now glumly sitting on a fallen log. “Though maybe we should get going now? If you’re ready, that is. I'm sure Spike is getting impatient.”
I felt some of the weight that had just been pulled off my chest return as I remembered Spike and Peewee. “You’re probably right. We should get going again.” I dropped the privacy spell and stood up.
Fluttershy stood with me and stretched out her wings. “Right, this is bad enough on him without delaying it.”
It took a bit of work to find out where Peewee's family was. I suppose it shouldn't have been much of a surprise that the old nest was abandoned after what had happened with those adolescent dragons. I couldn't imagine they felt all that safe knowing that a whole gang of dragons had found their nest with the intention of smashing their eggs. Shame that meant we were going to have to go through more work to reunite Peewee with his family. Thankfully I had a good tracking spell to help us out. By using Peewee as a focus for the spell, I was able to get a lock onto his parents. I do so love it when I can use my spells for something practical.
Following my tracking spell, we entered another section of the woods. I could feel we were close when Fluttershy said, "I think that might be their nest over there." She pointed and I saw a nest with a pair of bright red birds in it. We weren't close enough to get a good enough look to be completely sure, but it seemed a safe bet that this part of our journey was about at an end.
Spike let out a tired sigh and hopped off my back. "Fine, let’s get this over with." His grumpiness had turned to tired defeatism over the day. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.
"I'm sorry about this, Spike," I said. "But this is just something we have to do."
Spike petted Peewee, not even bothering to look up as me. "So you keep telling me."
Fluttershy and I exchanged a worried glance. Neither one of us wanted to hurt Spike, but what else could we do? Peewee needed to go back to his parents, Fluttershy had made that clear. It was probably best to just plow forward and get this out of the way. At least then I could concentrate on making this up to him somehow.
Fluttershy place a hoof on Spike shoulder. "I wanted you to know that you're being very brave. This is a very difficult thing we're making you do, but someday you'll see that we did the right thing." She nuzzled him. "And I’m sure when Peewee grows up he’ll come looking for you to be your friend. Wouldn't that be nice?"
"Yeah, I guess," Spike said, sounding less than convinced. The promise of a reward years in the future while giving up something very important to you now could be a difficult thing even for an adult, much less a child. Spike was pretty mature for his age, but he still had a lot of growing up to do. “Just gonna be waiting for a long time.”
I kept near Spike as we walked up towards the nest. As we approached, the phoenix parents swiveled their heads to look at us. They both started squawking angrily. That caused me to have a feeling this wasn't going to be as easy as I had hoped.
Spike approached the tree the nest was sitting in. He gave his would-be pet a final, forlorn look before holding up Peewee. "So, I'm, we're here to return Peewee to you." He flinched as the squawking became all the louder and the phoenixes' plumage stood on end.
Fluttershy's eyes widened. "What!? No, we haven't kidnapped your baby! Well, um, not on purpose anyways. It's all a big misunderstanding really. We’re here to return little Peewee to you." The phoenixes gave series of harsh and angry squawks that made Fluttershy flatten her ears to her head. "We understand that Spike and Twilight sort of kidnapped your baby, but they were only trying to help."
There were another series of angry squawks from the phoenixes. I wasn't exactly happy that I was missing out on half a conversation, but the smart move seemed to be to let Fluttershy do her thing. Dealing with animals was her specialty.
Whatever the avians said caused Fluttershy to frown. "Now there isn't any need to use that sort of language. My friends didn't know exactly what they were doing and are trying to fix it. I think that means a lot. Don't you?"
That got a grudging silence from the phoenixes. At least they weren't trying to set us on fire. That is generally a good sign that relations were improving.
Spike took another step forward. "Yeah, so..." He looked down at Peewee and petted him. "I guess you want your kid back now. I guess I can understand that."
Sensing that Spike needed me, I wrapped a leg around his shoulder to give him comfort during this difficult moment for him. "You're doing the right thing, Spike. I know this isn't easy for you, but..." I thought hard on what the best thing to say here was. I owed him that much at a time like this. “The thing is that when you love someone, sometimes the best thing to do is to let them go.”
Saying that gave me a bit of empathy for what my parents must have felt when I had moved to Ponyville. Even if Ponyville wasn't that far from Canterlot, it wasn't exactly in casual or spontaneous visit distance either. It was probably even harder with Shining, considering that being in the Guard took him all over Equestria and beyond. While those things were significantly different to the current situation, they were similar enough to make me think of how I was now playing a similar role with Spike.
Spike took one last forlorn look at Peewee before he lifted the baby phoenix up to his parents. "Here you go," he said reluctantly.
One of the phoenix parents swooped down from the nest and carefully picked Peewee up from Spike's claws. Quickly enough, Peewee was returned to the nest where a hooffull of other phoenix chicks were now happily chirping. Peewee's parents nuzzled him and I couldn't help but feel some warmth at the family reunion.
Spike rubbed at one of his eyes and wrapped his other arm around my foreleg. "Make sure to take care of him, okay? He means a lot to me. Just, you know, if you need anything you can always drop by my place for anything. Or if you just want to visit, that be cool too. We live in the library in Ponyville." He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Wait, would you even know how to get to Ponyville? I mean it’s over about that way.” He waved vaguely, but then sighed to himself. “Right, this might be a problem.”
“I’ll tell them where they can find you,” Fluttershy said with a smile.
“Thanks.” Spike scuffed his foot in the dirt. “So I guess this is goodbye, Peewee. I’ll miss you.”
Peewee and his parents chirped at Spike, and Fluttershy leaned her head down to say to Spike, “He’ll miss you too, and says he will come see you someday. His parents said you can come by anytime, too.”
I nodded. “And who knows, maybe we can come back here now and again.”
That brought a smile to Spike’s face. “That would be cool.”
“We’d better get going,” I said while looking up at the sky to gauge about how late in the day we were. “We’ve got a long trip back.”
Spike sighed and nodded. “Yeah, guess so.” He gave Peewee a final wave of goodbye. “See you later, Peewee.”
The sun had been lowered by the time we returned to Ponyville. Spike had been mostly silent for the second half of our trip, and I hadn't wanted to push him at this juncture. It was probably going to take him time to absorb everything that had happened. This was the first time he had gone through anything like this, and I wasn't going to pretend it didn't hurt.
Fluttershy had tried a couple of times to comfort Spike, but after less than receptive signals from him she had probably picked up that Spike wanted to be left alone for a bit.
So our largely silent trip came to an end when we arrived at the library. "At least we’re back home, finally," I said. It felt good to be back after what had been a long and tiring trip. Something that had started out so promising had ended pretty terribly. Figures one of the few things that looked like it was going to turn out for the best was just going to give me more of an emotional beating I really didn't need at the moment.
"Yeah, I guess." Spike hopped off my back and opened the door. "I think I might just go straight to bed," he said as he stepped into the library. "I'm tired."
Fluttershy fluttered in after Spike. "Oh, I was going to make us some sandwiches. I thought you both might like something to eat after everything."
I smiled at her. "That sounds nice. I'm pretty hungry now. Spike, how about you get cleaned up first before heading to bed? We're all a bit dirty after such a long trip. You might decide you want something to eat after you do that."
Spike sighed. "Fine, whatever." He slowly made his way up the stairs. "I'll be back down whenever."
Fluttershy frowned as she watched him leave. "I hope he'll be alright. I know how hard it is to say goodbye to a pet, even when it's the right thing to do."
"Me too. This wasn't fair to him." I shook my head as I thought everything that had happened. It was probably going to be a bit before Spike got over this. "And he was really looking forward to finally having a pet."
"He can come by anytime he wants to get a new pet." Fluttershy trotted into the kitchen. "There are dozens of animals at my house that would love an opportunity to become someone's pet. When he’s ready, I’d love to help him."
"Maybe." I followed her into the kitchen. "Might be a bit before he's emotionally ready for that, though. And I don't want to push another one on him until he is ready for it."
"Of course." Fluttershy glanced at the record player I had sitting on a stand in the kitchen. "Would you mind putting on some music? I like to listen while I work in the kitchen."
"Sure." I glanced through the albums I had organized under the record player. "Any type of music in particular?"
Fluttershy began pulling out supplies to make a sandwich. "Do you have that new Ponytones record Rarity gave us?"
I looked through the alphabetized albums. "Yep, I have it right ... here!" I pulled the album and put it onto the record player and started it up. "That should help lighten the mood."
Fluttershy's head bobbed to the joyous music. "Thank you very much, Twilight." She went about laying out some slices of bread on the counter. "It always makes cooking seem like less of a chore when I can listen to music."
"Of course." I opened a couple of cabinets to see what we could eat in addition to the sandwiches. Maybe now would be a good time to add a few small gems to Spike's sandwich? He could use the morale boost. "Want any help there? We would get everything done faster working together."
"That would be nice, but I can handle it myself." Fluttershy's rump swayed in time with the music.
"Liking the music?" I asked with a grin. There was something I liked about watching her move and sway.
"Oh yes, it's very nice." She placed some lettuce and cheese on the bread, her hips still moving with the beats.
"The Ponytones are really good." I found my own rump swaying as I pulled out some crackers and a pouch filled with some powdered gems.
Fluttershy finished up the sandwiches and put them on a plate. "I really enjoy their music."
I grinned at her. "So I can tell."
"Hm?" She looked back and noticed that she was shaking her rump right in front of me. Her face flushed and she stopped moving. "Oh ... oh my ... I'm so sorry! I was just really enjoying the music."
I smiled, though I felt embarrassed doing so. "Nothing wrong with enjoying music; kinda the point."
"I know, but I didn't even think about the fact that you were ... um ... that is..." Fluttershy's face became all the redder.
Fluttershy's blushing caused me to start blushing. There was something about her flush face that made my heart beat all the harder. "That I'm what?"
"Er ... there." She cleared her throat. "Where you could see ... um ... yes." The smile she gave me looked strained at the edges.
"I-I didn't mind!" I said hastily. "I mean it was nice. You swaying your hips is fine. I mean you're fine. That is everything about you is fine." I was overcome by a laugh. "Is it hot in here all of a sudden? Because it's feeling hot in here all of a sudden."
"Um ... yes." Fluttershy turned her head to block her face with her mane. "A little bit. Sorry."
"Don't be!" I insisted. "You were just dancing a bit, and, um, it was kind of nice." I gave her a smile that I hoped was encouraging. I liked seeing Fluttershy enjoying herself. She was usually so reserved in her behavior. Watching her get into the mood was a welcome change.
Fluttershy stared at me for a long moment before she said, "It was?"
"Yeah." I nodded. "I mean it's nice seeing you enjoying yourself. And..." My heart beat all the harder. I had to fight against my nerves to keep speaking. "I think I liked watching." Having started, the words kept flowing out of my mouth. "That is to say, I like spending time with you. And, and you're really pretty. And I like you. Certainly as a friend, and..."
Fluttershy's blush reasserted itself. "T-Twilight, what are you...?"
What exactly was I doing? Was I really doing this? For so long I hadn't entertained thoughts like these. Not when I had always known that I was always going to end up in an arranged marriage. Now I wondered if I had to stick with what I had thought was always expected of me. My parents had certainly not been paragons of noble virtue. Why couldn't I seek happiness for the sake of it? It wasn't exactly ideal, but it wasn't like I had to get married. On thinking about it, there were plenty of nobles who never got married. It wasn't to the best advantage to one's family, of course, but even my parents had said they wanted me to be happy.
Then Fluttershy was so nice, caring, and attractive. She was good looking enough that she was a supermodel at one point. Also, she had been really supportive and kind to me recently, and I enjoyed her company. Then there was the fact that even Princess Celestia had advised me to find a special somepony if I wanted one, and how else could I discover if I wanted one if I didn't go out there and find out?
I summoned my courage. "W-would you, if you like to, I would really like it if..." I took a deep breath to steady myself. "Would you go out with me?" I put on the best smile I could. There it was, I had put it out there.
"Oh ... oh dear." Fluttershy looked away from me. "Um ... I don't know ... that probably wouldn't be ... that is..."
I kept myself from grimacing. Needless to say, that had not been the answer I had wanted to hear. Maybe I had come on too strong and quickly? I didn't have much, well any, experience at this type of thing.
"Come on, we could go on a date later to have some fun. It would be like all those other times we hung out as friends," I reasoned. "Only with romantic connotations this time. It's almost exactly the same, only with significantly greater emotional investments."
She shuffled in place. "I really don't think..."
"Besides, a bunch of our other friends are dating now," I continued. "Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are dating now. And Rarity and Applejack are basically a thing. You and I being together would create some really good symmetry."
"S-symmetry?"
"Exactly!" I nodded. "All of the Elements of Harmony dating one of the others. How perfect could that be?"
"Well, yes, but, um... " She took a deep breath and blurted out, "I don't really like you that way!" She winced and looked down, refusing to make eye contact with me. "Er, sorry."
It felt as though something was clutching my chest. Had I done something wrong? This wasn't how things were supposed to go.
"I-I wasn't expecting head-over-hooves romantic feelings right away," I countered. "We could try a date or two, see what happens. Ponies do that type of thing all the time, right?" That sounded reasonable to me anyways. You couldn't know for certain about something unless you tried it. It was better than having a closed mind, I was sure.
"Twilight." Fluttershy rubbed at one of her forelegs. "I think of you as a friend, not ... that."
"Oh." My ears fell flat to my head at the rejection. She really didn't have those types of feelings for me. Worse still, I had placed her in a very awkward situation, and after all the help she had given me as of late. "Sorry. This is all my fault, I shouldn't have... I don't know. Maybe I was projecting. I should have known better than to do something like this. I'm not very good at the whole romance thing." I lowered my head and looked away from her. "You hadn't given any indication that you were interested and it wasn't fair for me to dump something like this on you. I was being stupid. I should know better. Forget about it."
My eyes started stinging and I closed them. The two of us not looking at one another had at least one advantage. She couldn't see me crying like some overwrought little filly.
"No, it wasn't. I..." She looked towards the exit. "I should go. Sorry."
"Right, it's been a long day." I blinked against the stinging in my eyes and turned away from her. I was being so stupid. I shouldn't I have done what I had. No matter how much I might have thought I liked Fluttershy.
Fluttershy's shoulders slumped as she made her way to the door, but before she could leave Spike came walking down the stairs.
He looked from Fluttershy to the kitchen where I stood. I looked away from him; I didn't need him to see me cry on top of everything. He didn't need this after all he had already been though.
Spike's eyes narrowed. "Hey, what's going on here?"
Knowing that I needed to do damage control, I quickly swiped at my eyes and trotted over to him. "Nothing, Spike. We were just having a talk, is all." I nodded to Fluttershy, and she took the signal to make a hasty exit. "It's just--something dumb, I guess. Don't worry about it."
Spike's scowl turned into a concerned frown. "Have you been crying?"
I tried to think of the right thing to say, wavered between telling the truth, deflecting the question, taking some other course… but I just felt so tired. Instead I wrapped Spike up in a hug. "Yes, Spike, I have. Just ... No more questions for now. Leave it for tomorrow, please. I'll answer your questions then." I squeezed him. "Right now what I would like is to have someone be here for me. Okay?"
There is something about being told by another pony that you aren’t desirable to them that tears a hole in you. It was a new experience to me. I now wondered if part of the reason why I had never attempted what I had with Fluttershy was because I didn't want to go through the pain of rejection. It would also at least partially explain why I had never sought friends in the past. Part of me knew deep down that I would never be popular at school or with the other kids. I didn't understand the vast number of complicated and largely unwritten social rules that covered such interactions.
It was so much easier to concentrate on my studies. The halls of academia had well-defined rules on behavior and what was expected of their students. For the most part, I knew what I needed to do to get a perfect score in my classes. Social interactions, on the other hoof, were fraught with perils and unknowns. Often I saw completely different ponies with nothing in common be the best of friends. That didn't even get into those that were romantically involved. That is a wild and crazy world I still have no clue about.
Still, I eventually learned to make friends. Sure, it took the world nearly coming to an end to push me to do it, but I like to think it's the final results that matter. While it was true that not everypony wanted to be my friend, I had made more than enough wonderful friends to make up for the occasional disappointment.
The next step seemed to be trying out dating. That wasn't something I really wanted to jump into. At least without some significant preparation. Especially when I was more than happy as it was. But after what I had learned about my parents, I came to question the exact direction I thought my life was going to go. After what had been a long day, I acted on my feelings for Fluttershy and took the plunge.
And just as I had feared, rejection hurt.
The morning after what had been a positively miserable day, Spike and I had a somber breakfast of pancakes. Neither of us had much to say.
"I think I'm gonna head into town for a bit," Spike said, breaking a long period of quiet between us. "If that's okay, anyways."
"What were you going to do?" I asked, putting my fork down. I had been picking at my half-eaten pancakes for a while now. It seemed that my appetite hadn't improved when I sat down to eat like I hoped. I stared regretfully at the large stack of mostly untouched pancake.
"I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe just walk around for a while."
His lack of his usual cheer and energy was concerning. "Are you alright? I know everything was pretty rough for you."
"Yeah, I'm fine." He sighed. "I just—I don't know—want some space right now, I guess. Maybe I'll head to the donut shop or Sugarcube Corner for a while."
"I can understand that." Everyone needed some time to themselves now and again. The donut shop was a pretty regular stop for him whenever he wasn't in the best mood. Still, I wanted to make sure he was alright before he went wandering off. "Sure there isn't anything you want to talk about before you go?"
"Nah, not really." He got up from the table and moved to pick up his plate when he stopped himself. "Um, there is kinda something."
Feeling his reluctance, I waved for him to continue. "Go on, Spike. You know you can talk to me about anything."
He shuffled in place before saying, "Are you okay? I mean, you were crying last night when Fluttershy was leaving. You also seemed a bit upset when we took that break when we were taking Peewee back to his parents. I wasn't really sure at the time though, but then you were crying back at the manor and then we came straight back to Ponyville without even saying goodbye to anypony."
It was a struggle to keep my emotions from showing on my face. I hadn’t exactly been at my best as of late, and a lot of that had splashed onto Spike. I didn’t want to burden him with more baggage than he was already dealing with, but my behavior was clearly getting to him. The question was, how was I going to respond?
“It’s not my fault, is it?” Spike asked cautiously. “I mean, I was kinda grumpy yesterday, but ... I didn’t want to give up Peewee. Even if it was what I was supposed to do.”
I silently cursed myself. I must have taken too long to answer Spike’s question, and he assumed the worst. “No-no, Spike!” I blurted. “You’ve been fine, really.” I embraced him with a hug. “You’ve been a real trooper in all of this, and I really appreciate that. It’s all on me, really.”
He squeezed me back. “Then what’s going on?”
I sighed. I needed to tell him something. I didn’t want Spike being too worried about me. That meant I had to be careful what I told him. “Well ... If you really want to know, I asked Fluttershy if she wanted to go out with me, and ... she said no.”
“What?” Spike frowned. “Why? I mean you’re great and everything. Who wouldn’t want to date you?”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at my personal relationship cheerleader. “Thanks, but she had the right to turn me down. Even if it hurt.” I let out a weary breath. “You can’t make somepony like you, after all. No matter how much you might like them.”
“Well, I still think she’s being dumb,” Spike announced. “So forget her. It’s her loss.”
“I’ll try.” I didn’t agree with him calling Fluttershy “dumb,” but I figured that was just him cheerleading, and not really meaning it. As long as it didn’t become a consistent problem it should be fine. “But she’s still my friend. It’s ... just going to be a bit awkward for a while.”
Spike crossed his arms and frowned. "You can say that again." His expression softened as he looked up at me. "You gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, I think so." I nuzzled him. I was still feeling the sting from Fluttershy's rejection the previous night, but I wanted to be strong for Spike's sake. "Ponies deal with this type of thing all the time. I'm sure I'll get through it too."
"Okay then," he said, sounding less than happy. "Do you want me to stay? It’s a nice day outside, but if you want me to stick around..."
"No, go ahead," I said. "I could probably use some thinking time myself at the moment."
"Only if you're really sure." I could see the conflict on what to do going on in Spike's head.
"I'll live," I said, throwing in some amusement into my tone. "Just go on ahead and have some fun in town already. I'll clean up after breakfast. Here." I pulled out some bits to give to him. "There's some money. That should give you everything you need to unwind."
His eyes lit up as he took the bits. "Thanks, Twilight!" He embraced me with another quick hug. "You're the best."
I smiled and embraced him back. "You're pretty great too."
With Spike gone, it was time to get back to work. True, asking Fluttershy out hadn't worked out for me, but it wasn't the end of the world. It was a better use of my time and energy to concentrate on what I could control rather than what I couldn't. After thinking it over, I decided to start with some of the easier things I needed to take care of and move up from there. Tornado Day was coming up here soon, so that seemed like the best thing to concentrate on next.
Focusing on everything revolving around Tornado Day would also give me the opportunity to deal with a few other issues. After everything else that had been dumped on me, I didn't feel nearly as apprehensive about talking to Cloud Kicker. In any case, I wanted to get Cloud's word on what exactly happened in Cloudsdale with Luna, and I did need to inform her about the status of the research project.
I might even try and find a moment to talk to Ditzy Doo about Dinky's parentage. Fluttershy had been right that I needed to bring up the issue with her at some point. On that question, I was still unsure exactly how to approach it. At this point I didn't want to procrastinate about it forever given how much stress the issue was giving me, but I did want to be sure I was approaching the problem from the best angle.
Finishing the anemometer hadn't been too difficult. The plans I had been given by Rainbow Dash had been accurate, and all my parts had fitted together correctly. The only thing that made it tricky was some of the customizations I had made to the original design, but in the end I felt like I had hammered out all the significant issues.
Wanting to show Rainbow Dash my work, I headed to her office at what were supposed to be her normal office hours. There was, of course, no guarantee she would be there. Even the average weather manager could easily be drawn from her office by random issues, and Rainbow had made it more than clear to everypony that she had zero love for paperwork.
Though most ponies didn't like paperwork for whatever reason. I always thought filling out forms was fun.
Anyways, I got lucky and found Rainbow Dash sitting at her desk when I opened the door to the Weather Service.
Her ears perked up when she saw me. "Hey, Twilight!" It took her no time at all to hop up from her desk and come over to me. I stifled a wince as she blew some of the papers on her desk to the growing collection on the floor. "What's up? You gonna be ready for the meeting tonight?"
I nodded. “Everything should be set for that. I just finished cleaning up the library. But I came here because I wanted to show you that I completed the anemometer." I held it up for her to see.
"Great!" Rainbow Dash craned her head this way and that to look at from different angles. An anemometer wasn't much to look at, but it still probably ranked higher than whatever paperwork she had been filling out. "It works and everything, right?"
"I think so," I said. "Part of the reason I wanted to talk to you was that I was hoping I could get a pegasus or two to help give it a few test runs. I figured it would be best to make sure it's working right before we really need it. It might need some calibration to get the accuracy we’re looking for."
“Sounds good to me.” She rubbed her chin. “How about you go by the track, and I’ll send Blossomforth over to help you? She’d probably like doing something different anyways, and she’d be good for something like this.”
“I can do that.” I hoisted the anemometer onto my back. “Though I figured you would want to test it yourself.”
“I’d like to, trust me,” she groaned. She glanced back at her desk with loathing. “But I gotta put in a request for some flyers I need today or I’m not gonna have them in time to tell everypegasus that they need to show up for Tornado Day training.”
“You going to have everything ready in time?” I asked. “I can help if you need it.”
Rainbow Dash waved my worries off. “Nah, I got it. You doing the anemometer stuff is a big help already. If you got that covered, I got the rest. Don’t worry about it.”
“If you say so.” I made a move towards the door. “How about I go ahead and go to the track, then?”
“Go on ahead.” She stretched out her wings. “I’ll find Blossomforth in no time, and she’ll meet you there. See ya later tonight, Twilight.”
“Bye,” I said as she zipped past me.
At least one thing seemed to be on track.
I was finishing setting up the anemometer by the track when Blossomforth came in for a gentle landing next to me.
I smiled at her. “Hey there, Blossomforth. Did Rainbow Dash tell you what we’re doing?”
She nodded. “Yeah, she said that you wanted me to help you calibrate your anemometer to measure wingpower.” It may just have been me, but Blossomforth seemed to be lacking a bit of the usual cheer I was used to seeing in her. Her smile seemed a bit more strained, there was a tenseness in her voice, and her wings were drooping. Maybe she was having a bad day? I certainly knew all about that. Not to mention cloud pushing could be tiring. At least from what I had heard.
“Thanks for the help,” I said with a smile. “You may have noticed, but I don’t exactly have wings, so I can’t do the final calibrations myself.”
A slight grin creeped onto her mouth. “I may have noticed, now that you mentioned it. And really, I’m happy to help. It’s nice to do something different from the usual grind.”
“Great.” It was good to know I was going to have a willing assistant to help with this project. While I hadn’t interacted much with Blossomforth, especially after the whole lab explosion incident, I liked to think we could still get along. “I was thinking it would be best to make sure the anemometer is ready before we get into the full swing of Tornado Day preparations.” I gestured towards the anemometer. “I’ve made a few modifications to help us. Considering Rainbow Dash wants us to break the Tornado Day record, I thought we could use a more accurate measuring device.”
Blossomforth’s ears perked as she looked over the anemometer. “Huh, you already changed the dial from measuring wind speed to wingpower. How're you doing that anyway?”
“It wasn't too hard,” I said, feeling excitement growing in me. It felt good being able to talk about an engineering issue with somepony who was at least familiar with the basics. “I just had to build a capacity matrix gem capable of reading pegasi wingpower as a pegasus flies past the device.”
“But wouldn't that mean your results would change depending on how close the pegasus flies?” She asked. “Even if we keep them in specific flight lanes, being a couple inches closer or further away would alter how much wingpower reaches the anemometer.”
I shook my head. “That would be an issue if this was a purely mechanical measuring system, but a capacity gem doesn't take in distance into account. It measures a pony's inherent magical aptitude. A capacity gem that can measure how much magic a unicorn is putting into it doesn't even register the distance you're holding it away from you. Granted, we will have to use lanes, considering I'll have to lock the anemometer down to measuring a specific area. We’ll need to keep using the track’s lanes as a result.”
Blossomforth rubbed at her chin as she considered that. “So it's basically measuring our pegasus magic, not our wings or the wind speed we’re creating?”
“Effectively,” I said with a nod. “Specifically, how much magic you're outputting when you cross the measuring zone. Going off of that, it can judge how much overall wingpower you’re producing and thus how much you’ll contribute to the water tornado.”
“Huh, I guess that would work,” she hedged. “I mean, it's not our wingpower in the most literal sense of the word, but...”
“It's a bit of a roundabout method of doing it, but it won't require us to make sure everypony isn't varying more than an inch on their approaches.” I made some final checks of the anemometer to make sure it was ready for its first batch of tests. “Normally we wouldn't need to be anywhere near this precise for something like this, but if Rainbow is going to reach her goal of breaking Fillydelphia's record we're going to need to know exactly how well everypony is doing.”
Blossomforth watched intently as I went about my work. “We're not going to get a whole bunch of drafted pegasi flying with perfect precision anyway. Your way of handling it was pretty smart.”
“Thank you.” I couldn’t help but smile at the compliment. It felt good to have one’s work acknowledged. “It was the best solution I could think of, anyways. Granted, it does require some time being spent making sure it works right and doing any calibrating that might need done.”
She grinned. “But that's what I'm here for, right?”
“Yep, Rainbow Dash said that you were a good pick for this,” I said. I stroked my chin as I thought something over. “Her wingpower probably isn't a good measuring stick to do this anyways. She has a lot more than the average pegasus. Though it would be better to test the anemometer with a bunch of pegasi, scientifically speaking, that probably isn’t going to be practical at the moment, sadly.”
“As long as we get it to work well enough, it should be fine,” Blossomforth said, taking the practical engineer’s stance to the issue. “And yeah, I'd be very surprised if the boss doesn't have the highest wingpower in Ponyville. I'm right in the nine to ten range, so that should be perfect for you. That’s what we were looking for everypony to be at for the big day.”
“Right.” I pulled out a notebook and a pencil. “We're going to need everypony to be at an average wingpower of ten in order to have a chance of breaking the record.”
“That's ambitious, but doable if we really work at it.” She started stretching out in preparation for her run of the track. “And we have a little bit of wiggle room on those numbers thanks to ponies with really high numbers like Rainbow.” She frowned and there was a long pause before she finally added, “And Cloud.”
“Cloud Kicker has a lot of wingpower?” I asked.
Blossomforth nodded with reservation and shuffled uncomfortably. “I don't know her numbers. It's usually kinda rude to just ask somepony outright, but I know she's pretty good. Probably all that Guard training she got.”
“Training makes a big difference for wingpower,” I said. “It’s why Rainbow is putting everypony through a training regimen to get their numbers up.”
“Yeah...” Her wings dropped again and she let out a sad sigh.
"Is something wrong?" I asked. Something was clearly getting to her and I wanted to help her if I could.
"Hmm?" It took her a few seconds before she pulled herself out of whatever she had been thinking about. When she did, she shook her head. "Oh, nothing serious. Just ... some stuff with Cloud."
"You want to talk about it?" I wondered what it was about Cloud Kicker that was bothering her. The two of them were pretty good friends. I doubted it had much to do with Cloud Kicker being arrested considering she had been pardoned by Princess Luna. She should even be back in Ponyville by now.
Blossomforth sighed. "Yeah, might as well. It'll keep bugging me until I get it off my chest." She took a deep breath. "I ... I think I have a bit of a crush on her."
That revelation caused me to blink. "With Cloud Kicker? You think you're interested in her or you're pretty sure? The level of attraction we're talking about makes a difference for how this conversation is going to go."
“Okay, okay, I'm pretty sure.” She pressed a hoof to her face. “It's just ... urgh!”
“Just that Cloud Kicker is Cloud Kicker?” I could see the problem readily enough. Cloud Kicker didn’t strike me as the type of pony who would be into the whole fidelity thing. That could be a bit of a problem if you wanted a committed relationship with her, to say the least.
“That, and ... we kinda got into a fight after the whole Cloudsdale thing.” Blossomforth scuffed her hoof along the track. “I wasn't exactly in a good mood when I had to fly over there to bail her out. I was wondering what in the world she was thinking to try and hit on a princess of all ponies.” She sighed. “Things got said.”
My ears wilted as I thought over what likely happened. “It was a pretty bad argument then?”
“Yeah...” She sat down next to me. “I don't think I've got a shot with her. I'm not even sure if I really want a shot with her, or if it's just...” She let out a frustrated groan. “Why is romance so frustrating?!”
“You're asking me?” I ran a hoof through my mane as I remembered the previous night. “I don't have a clue about romance.”
“Oh?” Blossomforth cocked her head. “I mean, I thought you knew about...” She motioned vaguely with a hoof. “Stuff.”
“What type of ‘stuff’?” I couldn’t help but grin at her. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve read about a lot different subjects. So you might want to be a bit more specific.”
“You know ... love and friendship stuff.”
“Friendship, yes, love... only of the platonic variety, I think,” I admitted. “Romance has been completely beyond me thus far. That was made perfectly clear when—” I shook my head. “Nevermind.”
Blossomforth’s ears perked. “Something up?”
I didn’t want to talk about what happened with Fluttershy last night, but it didn’t exactly strike me as fair to have Blossomforth talk about her own issues with Cloud Kicker and then have me clam up. “I kind of asked out somepony I really liked recently and got turned down.”
“Oh. Wanna talk about it?” There was a pause before she gave me a wry, sad grin. “I dumped my relationship trouble on you, so it's only fair.”
I gave her a sad grin back. “True enough.” I took a moment to take a breath. “I have—had a thing for Fluttershy. She's just so nice, and pretty, and has been there for me...”
“I guess I could see that,” she said with a nod. “I mean, she seems pretty nice and all, aside from that one time I got into a fight with her during the whole 'New Fluttershy' thing. It's just...” She squirmed in place. “Well, I'm not sure what to think of her, really.”
“Wait, you got into a fight with her?” The idea of Fluttershy getting into a fight with anypony was ... anathema to my thinking. This was a pony who had to be pushed to raise her voice to somepony else, much less get into a brawl with them.
“It was a little scuffle back when she'd gone a little crazy after Iron Will's seminar. No big deal.” Blossomforth coughed into her hoof. “She apologized later. A lot.”
“I heard a little bit about that.” My friends had quite a few interesting things to say about how Fluttershy had reacted to that seminar. I was a bit sorry I hadn’t gone myself to at least see what everypony had been talking about. Though Fluttershy seemed like she wanted to move past the episode. “She seemed pretty embarrassed about it.”
“She was.” Blossomforth waved the issue off. “Water under the bridge, as far as I'm concerned.”
“That’s good then.” At least that was one thing that wasn’t going to be become a big issue. It was never comfortable when two ponies you knew didn’t like one another. “Though I guess you still don't really know her that well.”
“Not really.” She shrugged. “Especially since she and Cloud are ... something. I dunno.”
“I'm not sure how they know one another, either.” It had been a rather vexing part of studying Cloud’s life. I was certain it was somehow related to something that happened during their time at Flight Camp, but exactly what happened there I could only guess at.
“Nopony who knows seems to want to talk about it,” Blossomforth said.
“That is what I've discovered.” I rubbed the back of my neck. “It's a bit strange.”
“Yeah...” The conversation died for a long moment. It seemed neither of us really knew how to continue before Blossomforth finally spoke again. “Also, you changed the subject away from you and Fluttershy.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle a little bit at that. “Yeah, I guess I did. What’s there to know?”
Blossomforth laid down in the grass and shrugged. “I dunno, I guess. Being rejected sucks.”
“You’re telling me.” I laid down next to her. “Though I'm not sure Cloud is even the type to settle down. At least from what I've seen.”
“Probably.” She sighed and nudged me with her wing. “So what about you and Fluttershy? I mean, she seems unattached and she is a good friend of yours...”
“She said she just wasn't interested in me.” My shoulders slumped. “I'm still thinking it through. Trying to digest it all, I mean. It’s just that I'm always used to being able to do something when I'm faced with a problem. Either I just need to study a problem hard enough, or look at it from another angle. Every problem was solvable.” I sighed. The times where I had been fully rejected were few and far in between. Like when I had failed to hatch Spike’s egg during my entrance examination for the School for Gifted Unicorns. “But in the end she just didn't think of me like that.”
“I guess there's not much we can do if they're just not interested, is there?” Blossomforth turned her gaze up towards the sky. She frowned and I could feel a sense of depression coming off of her. The situation with Cloud must really have her down. Though that was something I could sympathize with readily enough.
"Not really," I said. "I could always cast a spell on Fluttershy to make her attracted to me, but that wouldn't really be real—and it would be highly illegal."
"Er, right,” Blossomforth agreed, nervously shuffling a half a step away from me. “I guess you could do that. But yeah, I would avoid any kind of love potions or spells myself. I heard about how badly it went when the Crusaders messed around with those."
I had to suppress a grimace when I was reminded of that. It had been a mistake on my part to give the Crusaders a book with a love poison in it. I probably should have been a bit more suspicious of their sudden interest in an academic subject, but it’s so exciting to see young minds interested in learning.
"But Cloud isn't interested in you?" I asked, wanting to steer the conversation away from the incident with the Crusaders. "I mean based on how I've seen her treat you..." I had seen and heard of Cloud making offers for more carnal relations with Blossomforth in the past. Of course, she seemed to do that with pretty much everypony.
"I think she'd have casual, no-strings-attached sex with me in a heartbeat.” She paused, and her ears drooped. “But a real, long-term, committed relationship..."
"Right, that is a bit different." I supposed ponies could make whatever types of relations made them happy, but it was pretty obvious in this case that Blossomforth wasn't going to be happy with anything but a committed and probably monogamous relationship. Something I didn't see much of a chance Cloud Kicker doing. “Sorry to hear it, Blossomforth.”
“We just have no luck at love, do we?” Blossomforth asked.
“Doesn't look like it.” I rubbed at my face.
There was a long period of silence between us as we lay there by the track. The talk about our romantic pursuits had not exactly been a happy one.
“So, how about testing that anemometer?” Blossomforth asked to finally break the painful silence. “The boss isn’t going to be happy if she thinks I’ve just been lying around all day. Especially when she’s been cooped up in the office doing paperwork.”
“That sounds like a good idea. The anemometer sounds nice and safe and manageable.”
“Yes.” She paused a moment before giving me a sad smile. “Which makes it the complete opposite of our love lives.” She let out a bitter laugh.
I found the sentiment contagious and laughed with her. “Isn’t that the truth?”
Blossomforth got up and began stretching herself out. “I was thinking we could try a few rounds of me flying at my top speed and then have me try it out at on lower speeds. Considering we’re trying to get everypony up to a ten wingpower, it would be good idea to make sure it’s working at those lower speeds.”
“It might be good to know it won't have any issues at the slower speeds.” Blossomforth offered me a hoof, and I took it to help lift me to my hooves. “Not everypony is going to start out as solid a flier as you.”
“It helps that I’m always flying everyday for work,” she said. “Now if you want to test the anemometer for higher speeds you’re going to need to get Rainbow Dash.”
“I’ll look into it if we have time.” I went about checking the anemometer to make sure there weren’t any issues I might have missed. “Rainbow seems really busy at the moment.”
“She does tend to put a lot of stuff off until the last minute,” Blossomforth said with an irritated sigh. “It should be alright for Tornado Day, though. She’s really fired up for this project, so she’s working a lot harder than usual—and believe it or not, she does have a professional work ethic. We’ve all been working pretty hard with her to keep everything on track.” She lowered her head to look at my measuring instruments. “Hm, seems you might have some trouble making a reading if somepony has less than one wingpower, but I don't think we'll have anypony flying that poorly.”
“I think somepony would just about have to try to do that badly,” I said. “Either that or they’re too young or old to really be participating in Tornado Day.”
“Nooo kidding.” Blossomforth agreed. “So that probably won’t be an issue. Anything else to sort out before we get started?” She gave me a faint smile.
“I think that covers the biggest stuff for now.” I got my pencil and notepad ready to take some notes.
“Well that's good.” Blossomforth took her place on the track and gave her wings a couple practice flaps. “Nice to have a problem we can solve.”
“You're telling me,” I said. “Life has been a bit crazy as of late.”
“Well, thanks for the talk about all that.”
“Sure.” I extended a hoof to her. “Friends? We could always talk about our lack of love lives, and hopefully some topics that are less horribly depressing now and again.”
Blossomforth grinned and took my hoof. “Sounds good to me.” She rubbed at her chin. “So, any new gadgets to show me?”
I smiled, feeling good about making a new friend. Not to mention one that was interested in engineering. I could think of all sorts of fun things to do with a friend with a similar interest like that. It was certainly something to look forward to, and that was something I could really use right then. “I might have a few back at the library.”
“I'd like to see them.” She coughed. “As long as they don't explode like last time...”
I couldn’t help but chuckle at the memory of that embarrassing incident. “We can avoid anything potentially explosive this time.”
“Good to hear.” She smirked. “I've got enough problems without dodging any explosions.”
“You and me both.” I motioned towards the track. “But we can do that after we’re done testing the anemometer.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Blossomforth spread her wings, ready to start her first lap. “Ready?”
I returned to the library after determining that the anemometer was working correctly. It would be best to make sure that the library was presentable before dozens of ponies showed up. I didn't want anypony to think that the library was anything but a place of order.
I was in the middle of dusting the shelves when there was a knock at the door. I put down my feather duster and opened the door. There stood Cloud Kicker carrying a film projector on her back. She smiled and said, “Hey.”
“Oh, hello, Cloud Kicker.” I tilted my head to get a better look at the film projector. It looked like an older model. The spots of rust on it certainly suggested it had been around for a while. “That for tonight?” Rainbow Dash had suggested she wanted to use some old film reel about water tornados, though I hadn’t gotten the details about it at the time. It had been a bit difficult to get any details out of her considering she had been a whirlwind of activity and ideas about everything she wanted to do for Tornado Day.
I was somewhat surprised that Rainbow Dash had sent Cloud Kicker to the library, considering she knew that the two of us were having trouble getting along. It was possible she had forgotten in all the rush of preparation she was going through. Another possibility was that Cloud Kicker had requested to come, or that Rainbow Dash had hoped she could brute force a reconciliation between the two of us by putting us in a situation where we would just about have to talk to one another. In the end it didn't matter all that much. Not like I was going to try and avoid her forever anyways.
She nodded. “Yeah, just want to get it set up and make sure it runs right before the meeting.”
“Fair enough.” It certainly made sense to make sure the projector was working before we actually needed to use it. “We can set it up right here if that isn't a problem,” I said, pointing to a table at the center of the room. “I can set up a film projector screen opposite if you put it there.”
“Great.” Cloud Kicker carefully removed the projector from her back and placed it onto the table.
I went and got the screen and placed it opposite of the projector. We both finished our tasks, leaving the two of us to stand awkwardly in the same room together. Not particularly wanting the two of us to be standing on opposite ends of the room in silence, I said, “So, how have you been?”
“Er ... good, for the most part,” she said. “You?”
I let out a long breath. “Getting there.”
“Getting there?” Cloud Kicker tilted her head as she looked at me. “Sounds like you've had some stuff going on.”
“My trip to Canterlot wasn't exactly fun.” After saying that, I felt compelled to go on. We weren’t going to get anywhere by dancing around the issues we needed to talk about. “You were right about my parents, by the way. They’re both ... engaging in extramarital affairs that I didn’t know about. That put a damper on the visit, to say the least.”
“Oh.” She looked away from me. “Sorry to hear that.”
“And yes, Vinyl Scratch is my half-sister, just for the record,” I admitted, feeling a bit better about being able to say this aloud. “Though please don’t go around telling everypony that. I’m still getting used to that idea myself.”
Cloud Kicker nodded. “My lips are sealed. If you don’t want that getting out, I understand. It sounds like you’ve had a lot dumped on you lately.”
“I'm figuring out how to deal with it all, really.” I shrugged, feeling tired about having to think about this topic again. The situation with my parents had dominated my thoughts as of late, and I think I was just getting sick of worrying about it by this point. “I don't know.” I shook my head. “They have the right to live their lives how they want, as long as they’re not hurting anypony, but I'm not thrilled about them not telling me the truth of it. That did kind of hurt.”
“I can understand that,” Cloud Kicker said. “It’s not exactly fun when ponies keep secrets from you that you should probably know about.”
“I guess I'm still working on rationalizing it all,” I said. “I’m going to need to have a long talk with my parents about all of this eventually. No way we can avoid this topic forever.”
“I guess finding out you have a half-sister is a lot to take in.” She sighed and shuffled in place. “Sorry about dumping that on you.”
I waved the apology off. “To be fair, that should have been my parents' job.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Cloud Kicker said. “Just .... didn't mean to knock you for a loop like that, is all.”
“We weren't on the best terms at the time.” I scuffed a hoof along the floor. “It seemed like we were hitting the wrong buttons with each other at every step.”
Cloud Kicker’s ears dropped, making her look positively miserable. “Seems to be something I have a knack for lately.”
“Not having a fun time either?” I asked. “Never a fun time when you get arrested by order of a princess.”
She rubbed at the back of her neck. “Guess you heard about the whole Cloudsdale thing with Princess Luna. And I got in a fight with Blossom too.” She sighed. “I haven’t been hitting it out of the park as of late.”
“I heard about both, yes.” At the risk of having another awkward moment of silence, I seized on the next thing I could think of to say. “It's a bit weird, considering Princess Luna saw me the same night I think you met her.” It might have been good to try and help Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth with their friendship, but the romantic component was something that threw me for a loop. I wasn’t exactly experienced in romantic relationships, and I didn’t want to make things worse between the two of them. Instead, I went with a topic that was relatively safer between the two of us.
Cloud Kicker rose an eyebrow at that. “She did? Huh. Not exactly what I was expecting.”
“It was pretty odd.” I stroked my chin. “She suddenly wanted a verbal report on you, asked a few questions, said the project was over except for me writing the paper out, and then left. It all happened so suddenly. I was a bit shocked.”
“That is pretty weird,” Cloud Kicker agreed. “But I guess after what happened when she met me, the report was kind of moot.”
“What did happen in Cloudsdale?” I asked. “All I've heard are rumors.”
She seemed to consider my question before finally shrugging. "I ran into Luna in a bar. We started drinking, talking, and getting along pretty well. So I made a pass at her. She was ... not amused."
"Threw you into jail, not amused?" I guessed.
"Yup," Cloud Kicker said. "Definitely among my worst rejections over the years."
It was hard for me to imagine that any evening that ended with you in jail had gone particularly well. "What made you think it was a good idea to hit on a princess? Especially one that is about a millennium behind modern dating practices?"
She let out an annoyed huff. "A little too much to drink and old habits kicking in. That and banging a princess being on my dream to-do list."
"And we saw how well that worked out," I teased.
Cloud Kicked chuckled. "Not my best work, no. Trust me, I learned my lesson there."
"At least you're not in jail anymore thanks to Rainbow Dash," I said, fiddling with the profile for screen after I noticed that it wasn't completely straight.
"Yeah, I owe her one for that." Her tone took on a more somber tone when she continued. "She's ... a good friend. Probably better than I deserve."
"She's really great, that we can agree on." It was certainly true that Rainbow Dash had gone out on a limb to help her. That boon from Princess Luna was probably a once in a lifetime opportunity for her. I couldn't completely explain why Rainbow Dash and Cloud Kicker were friends. They seemed to like to hang out, and had for many years. It could be one of those childhood friendship things that I didn’t have much experience with myself. But the fact of the matter was that they were friends, they liked being friends, and I certainly wasn't going to tell them they couldn't be.
Cloud Kicker smiled and nodded. "Darn right she is. Rainbow's the best friend a pony could ask for. Rainbow and I go all the way back to Flight Camp, so..."
"Right, I can understand that," I said. "Though if I'm honest I'm still kind of new to the whole friends thing."
"Yeah, I guess you are." Cloud Kicker fiddled with the film projector and put in a film. "Guess we should test this out."
I nodded. “Sounds like a good idea.”
Cloud Kicker hit the switch to turn the projector on. It immediately started clicking in a manner that didn’t sound right. I was about to suggest to Cloud Kicker that she turn the projector off when it burst into flames.
Yes, something was definitely wrong with the film projector.
Cloud Kicker blinked and took a step back from the film projector. “What the feather?”
I tilted my head as I contemplated how the projector might have caught on fire in the first place. “No offense, but I think your projector is showing its age.”
“No kidding.” She wrinkled her nose as she looked at the projector. “That's not supposed to happen.”
“It's not an intended use of a film projector, no,” I said wryly, “I'm sure it's on its warning label somewhere.”
“Too bad that warning label’s kinda gone.” She waved at the projector. “Y’know, ‘cause it’s on fire now.”
“Fire does tend to have a negative effect on paper,” I agreed.
Cloud Kicker frowned at the continually burning projector. “You do have an anti-fire spell, right?”
“Oh right!” I had nearly forgotten that allowing a fire to burn inside the library was a really bad idea. I cast a spell that snuffed out the fire in short order. “Knowing an anti-fire is pretty much mandatory when you have a baby dragon in the house.” It also seemed to be making me a bit too casual about fires happening inside my home. It’s strange what you could grow used to when it happened so frequently. Spike was normally really good about not setting anything on fire, but there was still the fact that if he sneezed too hard or hit the angles wrong while sending a letter to Princess Celestia something would be set on fire.
Cloud Kicker walked around where the film projector had been set up, probably to make sure there wasn’t any remaining fire to worry about. “Yeah, guess it would be. Saves money and trouble over using a fire extinguisher.” She seemed to mull over the idea before saying, “Any chance you could teach Sparkler that one? We all love Derpy to death, but we get a bit worried with how many fires there are in her house.”
“If she asks me, sure.” I cast a couple of repair spells on the projector. The projector took on something like its original form, but I could easily tell that the internal workings were a lost cause even after a couple more repair spells. Repair spells were great for any minor repairs one might need to do, but rebuilding semi-complex machinery was usually beyond the ability of magic to fix. It didn’t help that fire had a bit of a purifying element to it, and made it difficult to put it back in its original form.
Cloud Kicker sighed and ran a hoof through her mane. “I don't suppose you have a spare? The Boss ain’t gonna be happy if she can’t show the film she’s bringing later.”
“I have one in the closet, yes.” Giving up on further attempts at the repair spell, I opened up the closet to find my own film projector. “Give me a moment to find it.”
Cloud Kicker gave me an appreciative smile. “Thanks for all the help getting this set up too.” She shuffled in place. “I know Rainbow appreciates it.”
"Not a problem." I found the projector sitting on the closet floor and picked it up with my telekinesis. "I'm always happy to help a friend, and Rainbow is one of the best friends I have."
"Yeah. I oughta do something nice for her after ... everything." It wasn’t hard to imagine what she was talking about. Having a friend turn in a favor to get you pardoned was no small thing, and that was just what I knew about. The two of them did have a history, after all.
“What did you have in mind?” I turned on the projector and was happy to see it come to life, and without catching on fire. That was certainly a step in the right direction, and kept our plans on course.
I fiddled with the projector to make sure it was hitting the projector screen at the right angle. “Good news is that she isn't that hard to make happy. At least once you get to know her.”
“Buy her something Wonderbolts related or a Daring Do book, and she's happy.” Cloud Kicker gave me a big grin. “I should thank you for getting her into those, by the way. And ... a lotta stuff. You've been a good friend to her.” Her ears drooped. “Better than me.”
I sighed. It seemed that Cloud Kicker was getting into a self-pity mindset. Given how things went in Cloudsdale and with Blossomforth, that wasn’t very surprising. Getting arrested while on company business, even if it was probably during off hours, probably hadn’t helped her reputation. Then getting into a fight with a friend was never fun. She had probably been getting kicked around about as much as I had as of late.
“Rainbow values her friendship with you,” I said encouragingly. I didn’t want to add to her misery, so I thought some encouragement might help. “I can’t imagine she wouldn’t be friends with you unless she saw something good in you.”
“Maybe.” She picked up the broken film projector. “I haven’t exactly been the best friend lately.”
I didn’t know quite what to say to that. At the end of the day, we all made mistakes sooner or later, and Cloud Kicker had been having some difficulties as of late. Not to mention what the two of us had been going through. Still, maybe we could at least deal with the problems between the two of us. Solving at least one of her issues should help her feel better. Of course, that depended on us actually making progress. Something that wasn’t guaranteed given our record, but I still felt it was something I needed to do. We weren’t going to at least get an amiable relationship worked out if we kept avoiding one another and avoiding our troubles with one another, and I was tired of running away from trouble.
“I guess this is the part where we talk some things out?” I asked cautiously.
Cloud Kicker nodded hesitantly. “Might as well.”
I mentally braced myself before speaking again. “Things didn't exactly go the way either of us would have liked, I think.”
“No, they really didn't.” She drooped her head. “Probably my fault. I tend to make a mess of things.”
“There were some things I could have done differently too. I should have said I was uncomfortable.” I shuffled in place. “And I was probably being a bit too pricklish. It seems a bit silly now, to get so upset about it all. Normally I’m a lot better about letting things slide off my back. Especially when somepony is just joking.”
Cloud Kicker gave me a slight nod. “Guess we both made mistakes. Usually how these things go. I'm too used to ponies who are used to dealing with ... my lovable eccentricities?”
“Yeah, where I'm not used to such ... eccentricities,” I said.
“Well, maybe you'll adapt.” She paused, looking like she was thinking something over. “Well, y'know, if we're still gonna do anything together now that your project's over.”
“That is the question, now isn't it?” I thought out loud. “What with the study project being over.” It was something to consider. If we really wanted to, we could part ways, and we would only have to see one another rarely. Even then, we would only have to interact briefly. It would be tense, but not intolerable. It was the easier and safer option. Shame I knew that I would have given up when there might have been an opportunity to turn things around with Cloud Kicker, considering it did look like she wanted to atone for our earlier interactions.
Cloud Kicker hummed thoughtfully. “Well, we'll be working together on Tornado Day anyway. I guess we can decide after that.”
“That's one possibility,” I agreed with a nod. “Though if we're going to be working together, it would be nice if we could do so without every moment of us being together being a nexus of awkwardness.” It was going to be a pain if the two of us had to walk on eggshells around one another for the entire time, and it would distract from our goal of breaking that record. I probably owed Rainbow Dash a bit more than that. “Honestly, I think it would be nice to be able to move beyond all that stuff in the past. I have enough on my plate without having the baggage between us added on.”
"I know how you feel. So..." Cloud Kicker offered me a hoof. "We good?"
"Sure." I shook her hoof, feeling like a big weight was being taken off my back when I did so. "Let’s just put all that baggage in the past and forget about it. Really, it seems pretty petty at the moment after everything I've gone through lately."
She shook back and smiled. "Yeah, have to agree."
"I think we have a bit of a better understanding of one another now," I said. "You like certain activities, and I'm..." I rolled my hoof as I sought the right word for what I wanted to use. "Inexperienced at such things."
"Nothing wrong with that." Some of the tension in Cloud Kicker's body seemed to loosen and her smile became more eased. "And you know that when I tease, it's all meant to be in good fun."
"I've come to realize that it's just your way of doing things." I sighed, feeling embarrassment over some of previous encounters with Cloud Kicker. "And I've probably been a bit too much of a prude over that. Learning to relax about things is one of those things I'm trying to improve on. So how about this, you can be you around me, but if it becomes too much I'll ask you to tone it back?" I hoped I wouldn't regret this peace proposal, but I didn't want Cloud Kicker to be so tense around me that it just made us being around one another problematic. Besides, we seemed to have a better understanding of one another now.
Cloud Kicker nodded. "That sounds more than reasonable to me. Just the second you become uncomfortable, tell me and I'll back off." She cleared her throat. "Sometimes I don't know exactly when to back off."
"Noted," I said. "I think that established our boundaries with one another."
“I guess that's settled, then.” She grinned and scooted a step closer to me. “You know, we have a little time to kill before the meeting starts...”
I fought down what would have been my normal response of dislike towards Cloud Kicker’s suggestion. I had said that she could go back to her usual ways, so I had pretty much asked for this. Still, I had a counter for her so-called lovable eccentricities. One that was more fun than being bitter towards her.
“Oh, so you're offering to help me with the snacks for everypony?” I asked with a knowing grin.
Cloud Kicker smirked back at me. “Actually, I was thinking we should give the movie projector an extended test. I'm sure you have a couple films that we could watch somewhere in the library. Spike can make all the snacks.” She glanced around the room. “Assuming the little guy is around here somewhere.”
“That sounds really nice, actually.” It was still a few hours before the meeting. That gave us plenty of time to do something like watch a movie and just relax, and relaxing for a while sounded really nice. “I'm just going to have to go out and get Spike. He's out in town at the moment, but it's getting late, and I'd like him to be here before everypony shows up.”
“You fetch the dragon, I set up the movie and make some popcorn?” Cloud Kicker asked.
“Sounds good.” I waved in the direction of the kitchen. “The popcorn is on the third shelf and on the left in the cupboard. I’m going to guess you can figure it out from there.”
“Gotcha.” Cloud Kicker put the broken projector up against the wall. We could deal with that after the meeting. “Hope you like salt and butter on it.”
“That sounds good considering we’re watching a movie,” I said. “Give me a bit to find Spike and I’ll be right back.”
After using a tracking spell, I found Spike sitting on the rail of a bridge arching over a stream. He was idly looked down at the running water and casually kicking his legs. I guessed that he was pretty deep in thought considering he didn’t seem to notice me as I walked up to him.
I rested my head on the rail next to Spike. “Hey, you doing alright?”
Spike jerked slightly when I had spoken. “Oh, Twilight. I didn’t notice you.”
I couldn’t help but smirk at him. He was just too cute sometimes. “You thinking pretty hard there?”
“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugged. “About stuff, you know?”
“I think I get it.” I lifted up my head to nuzzle him. “Feeling a bit better after having the day off?”
“Kinda.” Spike let out a long groan. “I’m just tired of being all mopey and sad, really.”
“I know the feeling,” I said sympathetically. “I’m in the mood for moving forward at this point.”
“That sounds nice.” He wrapped his arms around my neck for a hug. “Sorry ‘bout ... all the stuff with Peewee.”
“It’s okay.” I hugged him back. “That wasn’t easy on you, and I’m sorry you had to be put through that. You’re being pretty mature about it, all things considered.”
That brought a smile out of Spike. “You think so?”
I nodded. “Yep, and the offer is still on the table if you want to get another pet. Just say the word, and we’ll go out to Fluttershy’s to pick one out for you.”
That instantly turned Spike’s smile into a frown. “Maybe later. I don’t really want another pet right now.”
That caused me to lower my ears. Part of me had hoped that I could, as awful as it might sound, replace Peewee in Spike’s life. At least fill up that void that had just been torn in his life. But in the end, this was Spike’s decision. I wasn’t going to force another pet on him to make myself feel better, and it might be he only needed time to find closure.
“That’s alright.” I lifted him onto my back. “We’ll take that at your pace.” I started heading back to the library. “How about we go back home? We were going to watch a movie and have some popcorn before the meeting tonight.”
Spike’s mouth quirked into a big grin. “Sounds great. I could go for a movie.” He rode quietly on my back for a while before speaking up again. “So, since you said I’ve been real mature, does that mean I can get a raise in my allowance?”
Ah, now Spike was trying to secure a kill while he thought I was in a giving mood. As was often the case with children, he was always looking for a raise in his allowance. “Didn’t we warn you about being greedy, Spike?” I asked in a teasing manner.
Spike sighed. “Yeah, yeah, Spike get greedy, Spike grow big and smash Ponyville. I remember.”
We did have a lengthy talk about the subject with Zecora after Spike had stomped a large portion of Ponyville flat. Needless to say, everypony hadn’t exactly been happy with me and Spike after that, and I had to do a lot of placating and explaining to calm everypony down. I didn’t exactly have the best reputation of being the best neighbor in town after ... everything that had happened since I came to Ponyville. If I hadn’t saved the town and the world a few times, I might have been tossed out of the city boundaries.
“Right, so no being greedy,” I said.
“I get it, I get it.” Spike paused for a few seconds before saying, “Though really, can I get a raise in my allowance?”
I rolled my eyes and kept walking.
The two of us returned to the library and found Cloud Kicker putting a film reel into the projector. The popcorn was already sitting in a bowl on the table, and was looking quite inviting after a long day.
“Hey, ready for the movie?” Cloud Kicker asked.
Spike hopped off my back and made his way towards the kitchen. “Sure, let me just get the ice cream and I’ll be good to go.”
“We’ll wait for you, Spike,” I said, picking up the bowl of popcorn. I had enough ice cream for one day.
We were getting settled for the movie when Rainbow Dash came flying in through the window. “Hey, everypony.” Her eyes looked over the scene before her and narrowed. “Hey! I'm paying you to work, Kicker!” She shook her hoof in a belligerent manner at Cloud Kicker. “Not watch movies!”
“We're testing the projector, Boss,” Cloud Kicker said confidently. “Besides, we got everything else done, and we still have a couple hours until everypony starts showing up.” Cloud Kicker gave Rainbow Dash an easy grin. “And you're just annoyed you didn't think of it first.”
Looking to defuse the situation, I held up the film reel box for Rainbow Dash. “You would probably like it, it’s the new Daring Doo movie.”
“Wait, there’s a Daring Do movie!?” Rainbow Dash zipped down to land next to Cloud Kicker and dipped her hoof into the popcorn. “Move over and give me some popcorn!”
I do not like mornings. Especially when those mornings start before the sun has even risen. Spike seemed to agree with my sentiment considering he was sound asleep on my back as I trotted down Ponyville's pre-dawn streets. I felt more than a little bit of jealousy as my head and body ached with fatigue.
I arrived at Ponyville's park right as the sun started to peek over the horizon. There were a couple dozen ponies already gathered in a circle despite the unnatural hour most of whom I recognized from the weather team. A couple synapses in my brain snapped off in a lazy, delayed fashion, and I remembered that Rainbow Dash had told most of her fellow weather ponies to be here.
Rainbow was zipping about the circle, and I started making out her words as I got closer. "I just know we're gonna nail this thing! Imagine, Ponyville up on the record board in the weather factory at Cloudsdale! Rainbow Dash's record-holding weather team!"
Cloud Kicker gave Rainbow a smile. "That sounds great, Boss."
"You bet it is!" Rainbow wrapped a wing around Cloud and dragged her into the center of the circle. "Don't worry, I'll make sure they put your name right underneath mine." She grinned and flew over to drag Blossomforth from the opposite side of the circle from Cloud. "You too. Don't worry, I won't forget my two assistant managers when they give us a trophy."
Blossomforth cleared her throat. "I'm not sure there is a trophy for this."
"Well there should be," Rainbow said dismissively. "And there will be once they see how awesome Ponyville is." She wrapped a wing around each of her assistant managers and drew them closer. Cloud gave a tentative smile, but Blossomforth turned away in complete disinterest. Cloud’s smile morphed into a pained wince as she reluctantly turned away from her now distant friend. Their reactions to one another caused a tenseness in my chest. I didn’t like seeing two friends not getting along like this. That was probably something I should help with once tornado duty was dealt with.
“Alright everypony! Put a hoof in the center of the ring, and on three I want everypony to give a big cheer!” If Rainbow noticed the discomfort between her weather managers, she didn't show it. Either she was that oblivious or she was trying to patch up the rift through sheer bravado. With Rainbow, there was no telling which. “One! Two! Three!” The crowd gave a half-hearted cheer, either not having their hearts into the cheer or, like me, only being half-awake this early in the pseudo-morning.
Rainbow wasn’t going to be content with that lack of showing. “I can’t hear you! Louder!” She ran the gathered pegasi through the cheer a couple more times until she got a satisfactory level of enthusiasm for the cheer. “Great! Now everypony split up into your teams! Blossomforth, get everypony ready for warm-ups, I gotta take care of some other stuff real quick.”
Blossomforth nodded. “Sure thing, Rainbow.”
Rainbow Dash zipped over to me, a big grin on her face. “Hey, finally decided to show up?”
I gave her an affirming grunt and then drank deeply from the very large cup of coffee I had brought with me, hoping it would jumpstart my brain into working at something like normal speed. I really didn't need to be walking around like a zombie at a time like this.
Rainbow snorted out a giggle at my obvious displeasure. She was way too bright and chipper given the time, especially for somepony well known for taking naps throughout the day. "Hey, Twi. S'the matter? Too many late-night study sessions?"
My answering grunt sounded distinctly disgruntled.
She gave me a teasing poke to the cheek. "Is that a yes?"
"Don't worry, Dash," Cloud Kicker said, trotting up to the pair of us. "I'm fluent in half-awake grunts. And that was indeed a confirmation."
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "You would know that language. I bet you hear it from a different pony every morning."
"Well, I don't mean to brag, but..." Cloud trailed off, buffing her hoof on her chest.
"Good to see you're all so chipper," I said, taking another sip of my coffee.
"'Course we are! We got an awesome day ahead!" Rainbow flitted her wings, as though it was all she could do not to just take off into the sky.
"Tell me when it's actually day," I grumbled.
"Oh c'mon." Rainbow wrapped a leg around my neck and pointed at the sun, which had only begun to peek over the horizon. It was still more than enough to make me squint in pain. "It's totally day."
"That depends on how you classify the beginning of the day." I was sure I had read that classification somewhere, but my sleep-deprived brain couldn't recall what it was.
"Sunrise, of course. Duh," Rainbow said as though it were there most obvious thing in the world.
Cloud gave me a teasing grin. "I do recall something about how sunrise is magically significant..."
I groaned as I looked into my badly depleted cup of coffee. "That is true, considering there are several magical effects and anomalies tied to the rising of the sun." It was a topic I had gone over at length with Princess Celestia, considering she did control the sun.
Rainbow let me go and turned back towards the training field. "Oh, stop being a grouch, Twilight. We're about to make history! So, we need to set up the training facilities and start running ponies through their paces, and round up any stragglers." Rainbow rubbed her chin. "Twi, you’re good with lists, and terrible with ... well, any form of exercise, really. So I guess that means you're on straggler roundup."
"Thanks for considering my natural talents, Rainbow," I said sarcastically. I had to wonder if that was a none-too-subtle jab at me needing to get into shape. "Anyways, I just need to see the list for everypony who is supposed to be here, and any other paperwork."
"Yeah yeah, sure." Rainbow waved dismissively at a disorganized stack of folders sitting on a nearby table. "Cloud," she turned to her assistant manager, "your wingpower numbers are already good, so you can go help Twi with roundup." She briefly glanced Blossomforth's direction while she was busy putting everypony gathered through some basic stretching exercises. "I know Blossomforth's right around ten, but I wouldn't mind her bumping that up a bit more. Give us a buffer for any weaker fliers."
Cloud nodded. "Sounds good, Boss."
I let out a yawn and rubbed at my eyes again. "I'll get right on that then." Moving towards the table, I was stopped when Rainbow put a restraining hoof on my shoulder.
"One sec." Rainbow flicked a glance Cloud's way. "I haven't seen Fluttershy around, so if she hasn't signed in, just let me take care of her, okay?"
"Sure," I said uncertainly. "Though why not let me and Cloud take care of it?"
For a moment Rainbow and Cloud looked at one another. "Just ... I'm way faster than you two," Rainbow said, the confidence in her tone growing as she spoke. "I can go to Fluttershy's place during my break and be back with plenty of time to spare, no problem. No offense,"—she waved at my legs—"but it takes you longer to get around without wings."
I furrowed my brow, not entirely convinced with Rainbow’s stated intentions. "We'll take care of everypony else, then.”
“Yeah, sure, sounds good,” Cloud said in a stilted manner. She motioned for me to follow her to the paperwork. “Come on, we better get on that. Those ponies that didn’t show up aren’t going to round up themselves.”
Rainbow grinned. “Nope, but that’s why I got you two on that. I don’t just wanna beat the record, I wanna blow it away!”
I felt Spike stir on my back and remembered that he was still sleeping back there. “By the way, is there someplace I can put Spike while I do that? Oh, and I need to put the anemometer down somewhere too!” I said, remembering the whole reason I was there to start with. The anemometer was carefully tucked inside my saddlebags, and I had nearly forgotten I was even carrying the thing.
“Sure.” Rainbow pointed at a tree near the sign-in table. “I can keep an eye on the little guy while you’re busy. Just stick him under the tree over there, it’s a great napping spot.” She waved at us as she moved towards the ponies warming up. “But I really need to get going. See you two later!”
We waved back and then turned our attention to the task ahead of us. I unfurled a quilt from my saddlebags and laid it out near a tree. I carefully levitated Spike down onto it and then the anemometer. After making sure Spike was settled, I turned my attention to the table. On the table sat a clipboard with the signup sheets attached. Next to that was a stacks of paper filled folders with rocks sitting on them as impromptu paperweights—there being no small risk of papers flying away with so many pegasi flying around. I began examining each pile in turn to see what I was looking at and to get an idea of what might need organizing.
Cloud chuckled and shook her head as she watched me work. “This is ... surprisingly organized for Rainbow. I mean, she actually wrote things down, and got all the paperwork we need here.”
“I admit, I thought I was going to have to make a lot of this from almost scratch.” I checked the paperwork, and found most of it to be in order. I moved to the list of all the pegasi in Ponyville and began looking through that, but quickly found an issue. “Even if she accidentally shuffled in a request for thunderclouds into the pile.” I placed that paper to the side and combed through the rest of the list.
“Nope, not accidental.” Cloud flipped over the thundercloud report to show a bunch of scribbling on the back.
Picking the paper up, I squinted at Rainbow’s chicken scratch writing. “What's this supposed to be?”
“Part of the list,” Cloud said simply.
I groaned and rubbed at my eyes. It was difficult to read, especially when my eyes were still a little bit blurry, but I was pretty sure the names on the paper were those pegasi that had recently moved to Ponyville. “I'm too tired for this."
“You look it,” she said as she looked me up and down. “Not a morning pony?”
“More of a night owl,” I said with a yawn. In truth, I had been up later than I should have. I was used to going to bed at a later time than what this early morning called for. Even when I had gone to bed, I had a lot of trouble getting to sleep and didn’t rest particularly well. Now I was paying for it.
"Ah, yes, the wild nightlife of Twilight Sparkle." Cloud gave me a teasing poke to the ribs. "Hooking up with strange books for hours of anonymous, hedonistic reading. Bet you have your share of wild one-night stands with a new book. Though maybe you go back from time to time to revisit an old favorite?"
I returned with my own tired grin. "Often with more than one a night, if you have to know." Maybe it was just because I was tired, but this was striking me as funny.
Cloud grinned and poked me in the chest. "See, now we're on the same page."
"You're making something innocent sound way dirtier than it is," I commented.
"Hey, it's all good, clean, dirty fun," she said.
I gave her a flat look. "I'm pretty sure that's a contradiction."
Cloud grinned all the wider. "And yet, it makes sense."
"I'll give you that much." I turned my attention back to the stacks of paper. "Now let me concentrate for a few minutes, I need to sort through these lists to figure out who didn't show up for mustering."
That brought a chuckle to Cloud. "Yes, I wouldn't want to stand between you and your lists."
"Oh, hush." After a few minutes of work, I had finished drawing up a list of everypony that hadn't shown up.
"So..." Cloud reviewed the list of the ponies, their addresses listed under their names. "We have a list of ponies to hunt down." She frowned as she flipped through more pages. "This is ... not a small list."
I sighed and nodded. "I was worried this would happen. It's hard to get one hundred percent attendance for anything, much less a full effort from everypony. Not everypony is going to be as invested in breaking the record as Rainbow is, and a full investment is exactly what Rainbow wants for Tornado Day."
"Point." Cloud rubbed at her chin. "Always gonna be a few stragglers." I wondered if she was speaking from what she had learned from her classes at West Hoof or from personal experience during her time in the weather service. Based on the complaints I had to hear from Rainbow from time to time, it could be a real hassle sometimes to bring together all the pegasi needed for special weather situations.
"At least we should be fine for creating the tornado to lift up the water we need," I said, doing some rough math in my head based on how many pegasi had shown up today.
"Yeah, we've got a more than twenty percent buffer, I'd say," Cloud agreed.
"That should be alright then," I said. "Even if that's short of breaking the record, at least Rainbow won't get in trouble for failing to deliver the water to Cloudsdale."
"Exactly." Cloud flipped through the rest of the list. "Though I'd like to break that record for Dash."
"Then we're going to have to round up everypony that didn't show up." I too wanted to break that record for Rainbow's sake, even if it wouldn't affect myself all that much.
Cloud snapped the list under her wing. "Fun fun fun, but nothing I haven't done before."
"Shall we then?" I asked, taking an examining look Spike's way to make sure he or the anemometer weren't at risk of getting stepped on.
"I believe we shall." She shot me an easy grin. "So ... me in front, or in back?"
"I figured we would be standing side by side for this," I told her.
Cloud's grin grew. "But then neither of us gets to enjoy the view."
I snorted and shook my head. "You just love being terrible, don't you?" I tapped her on the chest. "Should you be flirting when you're on the clock?"
Cloud made a slight shrug. "I can still flirt while I'm on the clock, as long as it doesn't get in the way of doing my job."
I scooped up the rest of the papers we might need and put them into my saddlebags. "I see Rainbow keeps a loose leash on all of you."
"Yeah, micromanagement really isn’t her style,” Cloud agreed. “She’s more of a delegator. As long as the work gets done, she doesn’t worry about the details."
"That sounds like her." I started towards the nearest house on the list and Cloud followed close behind. "I don't really see her as the type to crack the whip."
"Nah." She shook her head. "She's pretty reasonable. Very hooves-off manager."
"Little hard for her to be hooves-on when she's napping all the time," I said, smiling at the memories of Applejack yelling at Rainbow to do her job while napping around her farm.
Cloud made a soft snort. “Yeah. I figure part of why she's so hooves off is 'cause she'd hate to have somepony hovering over her shoulder telling her what to do. She runs the weather team the way she'd want it to be if she was an employee.”
“It's one management style, at least.” We walked further down the streets before I spoke again. “So, how are things between you and Blossomforth right now? You seemed to be tense around one another back there.”
“Er ... yeah, a bit.” She let out a long sigh. “I messed up, and I'm not sure how to fix it.”
“You tried talking with her?” I asked.
“Yeah. It ... didn't go so well.” Cloud shook her head. “Urgh, let's just stay on-mission.”
“If you don't want to talk about it, I’ll understand,” I said. “But I'm an open ear if you want it.”
“Thanks for the offer, Twilight. It means a lot to me to have somepony in my corner right now.” To my surprise, Cloud stopped and pulled me into a friendly hug. “You’ve been a pretty good friend, especially after all that’s happened between us.”
Not sure what else to do, I embraced her back. Her frame had a tension to it, but I could feel her relaxing slightly as she leaned into our hug. She must have been having a harder time than I initially realized. Then again, I wouldn’t exactly be having fun if I was in the middle of a fight with my friends, either.
“Sure thing,” I said. “If you need anything, I can be there to help you. It’s an open offer.”
“Yeah? Thanks.” A smirk grew on Cloud’s face and her hoof strayed a tiny bit down. “Speaking of open offers...”
I grinned, took that hoof, and moved it back into friendly territory. “Somehow, it doesn't surprise me that you brought that up.”
“Well, I'm nothing if not consistent.” The smirk didn’t leave Cloud’s face but she kept the hoof in friendly space.
“You are very consistent,” I said. “But that is part of your lovable eccentricity.”
“It’s part of my charm,” Cloud agreed as she gave me a quick squeeze. “So ... shall I flirt with you some more, or do you wanna work?”
“I thought you did both at the same time?” The realization that I was in the middle of the street hugging Cloud caused me to feel conscious of what I was doing. True, I had hugged my friends in public, but it was different with Cloud. Wasn’t it? And she did have something of a reputation in Ponyville...
“Yeah, but we can prioritize.” Cloud looked me over with a gaze that was difficult for me to read. “A lotta work and a little flirting, or a little work and a lotta flirting.”
“How about we see how much work needs to be done before we get ahead of ourselves with flirting?” I asked, being practical.
“If you insist.” She nudged my hips with her own. “Though that's not a ‘no’ on the flirting at some point.”
“I suppose there's no harm in it.” Was I really considering going back and forth with flirting with Cloud? I admit, the prospect did sound a bit fun, considering it was just light-hearted in nature. At least I was pretty sure that’s all it was.
“Yup. No harm, and maybe a little fun.” She prodded my shoulder. “So...” She walked out ahead of me, her hips swaying with her steps. I wasn’t staring of course, but it was hard not to notice that she had a nice balance of muscle and flesh, and moved in a very inviting way. I only noticed because she was in front of me. Noticing wasn’t the same as staring.
"You're doing that on purpose, aren't you?" I asked warily.
Cloud smiled back at me with false innocence. "Doing what?"
I gave her a flat look. "Swaying your hips like that."
"I always sway my hips." She continued to move those hips as we kept walking. "Maybe you're just noticing it more."
"It's a little hard not to notice when you're moving around that much." It really did strike me as an excessive amount of movement.
"These hips don't lie," Cloud said coyly.
“I don't think that technically means anything,” I replied.
“I think you're technically enjoying watching them.” Cloud waggled her hips some more just for me.
I turned my head to the side. “I am not.”
Cloud grinned. “If you insist, Duchess. Just saying, nothing wrong with admiring a good view.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said gruffly.
We reached the first home on the list. After I knocked, a pegasus mare with a peach-colored coat opened the door. This was most likely Merryweather. On her back lay a miserable-looking pegasus filly with a light-green coat. "Hello, can I help you?" she asked, looking between us.
Cloud flashed her a smile. "Hey, Merry," she said, sounding like she knew the mare.
Merryweather returned with her own smile. "Hi, Cloud. You doing alright?
"Great." Cloud crammed her neck to give her a better look of the filly. "Looks like your daughter isn't, though."
"My tummy hurts," the filly whined, sounding every bit as miserable as she looked.
Merryweather gently shushed her daughter "I know, honey. Just give me a couple of minutes here before I take you to bed." Merryweather nuzzled her, then turned to us. "Skychaser came down with something this morning. I was on the way to taking her back to bed when you knocked."
Cloud nodded. "Oooh. Totally understandable why you couldn't make it to Tornado Day training, then.” Cloud stopped to give her a once-over. “At least you're still looking good though, right?"
She gave Cloud an amused smile. "Now you know I'm a married mare, Cloud."
"Doesn't make you any less beautiful," Cloud said without any shame.
Merryweather placed a hoof on her mouth as she chuckled. "Aw stop, you big flirt."
"I take it you two know each other?" I asked.
“Have for years.” Cloud nuzzled the other pegasus mare. “And I'll stop flirting when you stop being a pretty mare who likes being flirted with.”
Merryweather nuzzled back. “Let’s hope that doesn't happen anytime soon then.” Her daughter let out another moan, bringing an end to her good mood. “But to answer your question, I'm afraid I can't come to the mustering. At least not today. Not with Skychaser sick like this.”
I wrote Merryweather’s status down next to her name. “We can mark this down as a family emergency. Now if you’re going to need to take the whole week off, you just need to get a doctor’s note and drop it off at the weather service office sometime this week to make sure you don’t get fined for not showing up for tornado duty.”
Merryweather nodded. “I’ll be sure to do that if Skychaser doesn’t get better over—” She was cut off when Skychaser heaved and vomited over her back and shoulders. Merryweather tensed and went rigid.
We just stared at one another for a long moment, none of us being quite sure what to say or do until Cloud broke the silence. “Still pretty, but I'm not hugging you goodbye.”
“You better not,” Merryweather said through gritted teeth.
Skychaser let out another groan. “I’m sorry, Mommy...”
Merryweather let out a long, patient sigh. “It’s okay, dear. It was an accident.” She gave me and Cloud a tired look. “Now if you don’t mind, I have a sick filly to put to bed and a mess to clean up.”
“We’ll let you get to that,” I said. I certainly didn’t see any good reasons to keep her at the door.
After Merryweather closed the door, I turned to Cloud Kicker. “So, she's one of your ... paramours?” They had certainly struck me as friendly enough with one another to be so.
"Nah, just a friend," Cloud said.
"A friend-friend?" I asked. "I mean from the sounds of it you—well..."
"Yeah?"
I took a breath and went ahead and said it. It wasn't as though Cloud was prudish after all. "Had sex with her."
Cloud shook her head. "Nah. She was married when I moved here.”
"But you still flirt with her?" I asked. It struck me as strange to do that with another pony's spouse, especially when there was a kid in the family. That thought brought back unhappy memories where my parents were concerned, even if what Cloud had just done was innocuous compared to what my parents had kept hidden for all these years.
"Yup!" Cloud grinned and motioned for us to get moving again. "I'm really not that complicated. I liked flirting with Merry. It makes her happy, too. Most ponies like being complimented on their looks. It's just harmless fun as long as nothing major comes out of it."
"Uh-huh." I trotted out into the street with Cloud to head to the next address. "I think I can understand that." It was when I thought of the whole incident that I realized something. "Wait, one sec. Let me cast a spell to make sure neither one of us catches something and brings it back to the others."
Cloud nodded. "Dash’d get mad at us if one of us was the patient zero who ruined her plans."
"Right, stand still for a moment." I cast the spell that should help to keep the both of us from getting sick. It wasn't perfect, but it usually did the job when you recently came into contact with somepony who might be contagious. "There, good to go."
"Thanks," Cloud said. "I always make sure to get all my shots, but a little extra protection never hurts."
I could well imagine the underlying reasons for why she made sure she was up to date on her shots. "Not a problem. Anyways... " I pulled out the list of addresses, organized to lead us in an efficient circuit around Ponyville. Making our way to the next address while studying the list, I realized that Cloud was no longer besides me, nor was she ahead of me. That left the next most likely spot she had made her way to.
I craned my neck to look behind me. Little to my surprise, Cloud had a rather pleased smile on her lips. "You're looking at my rear, aren't you?" I asked, knowing the answer.
Cloud looked up and smirked. "You're putting your butt in front of my face, aren't you?"
"What?!" It took a moment for me to think what else to say. I really hoped I wasn't blushing right then. "No, of course not. Why would I do something like that?"
Her smirk grew all the wider. "Why, you got ahead of me to show your plot off. To be fair, it's a very nice rump to show off."
I let out a huff, reminding myself that Cloud was just being herself. “Maybe I should just shake it around for you? Considering you seem to be watching it so intently."
"Well, since you offered..."
I rolled my eyes and then took a quick look down both ends of the street and saw nopony out yet. Fine, if Cloud was going to tease me, I might as well return the favor. So I did and shook my rump right at her. That caused Cloud to laugh as she watched my rump move back and forth for her.
"There, now you got to see me shake it," I said, trying to sound confident over my self-consciousness.
Cloud nodded approvingly. "That I did, and I liked it."
My cheeks flamed up, and I couldn't bring myself to look Cloud in the eyes. "Big surprise there."
"Hey." Cloud wrapped a wing around me in a casual hug. "It's a nice rump. Don't be ashamed of it. Be proud."
"It's a bit embarrassing to be proud of my rear," I said. "It's my, you know, rump, back there, being it."
"Yup." She gave me an encouraging squeeze. "And it's a good-looking one."
"You don't need to say that to make me feel good, really," I insisted. "I don't need to be flattered just to feel good."
That brought the smirk back to Cloud's face. "So it does make you feel good?"
"I didn't say that specifically," I said, feeling my cheeks flush all the more. "You're just flattering me. You do that with everypony."
"True." She chuckled. "In any case, I'm saying it 'cause it's true in your case. I mean it. You look good. Nothing wrong with that."
I looked away from her, feeling embarrassed by her words. "Um, thanks." Thinking I needed to say something in return, I said. "I guess you look pretty good too."
Her head tilted slightly at my compliment before her mouth quirked into a grin. "Yeah? Thanks." She gave me a final squeeze before letting me go.
We arrived at the next address and Cloud knocked on the door. There was a long enough wait that Cloud was about to knock on the door again when the door opened. The dark-gray stallion looked like he had just woken up considering his blue-silver mohawk looked like it had been struck with a localized apocalypse. Thunderlane yawned and blinked sleepily as he looked between us. “Hm, Cloud, Twilight? What're you two doing here?”
Cloud gave Thunderlane an evil smirk. “We're here 'cause we needed a stallion for a threesome.”
Thunderlane’s eyes widened. “Really?!” Cloud probably couldn’t have grabbed his attention harder if she had slapped him. My jaw just dropped at the suggestion.
Cloud’s smirk evaporated into a flat look. “No. It's day one of tornado duty, Thunderlane. You didn't show.”
The look of hope on Thunderlane’s face dissolved and was replaced by confusion. It was certainly a contrast to my own relief that Cloud was just joking. “Wait, that's today?”
“That's what you and everypony else were told at the meeting,” I added. Admittedly, I was a bit unhappy with how Thunderlane had gotten to sleep in while I had been forced to wake up at an unnatural hour. That was why I was letting Cloud take care of this one.
“So hustle and get to the training field,” Cloud said firmly, pointing the way where everypony was gathered. “Now.”
Thunderlane let out a depressed groan and rubbed at his face. “Alright, alright, let me get cleaned up and I'll be right there. Promise.”
Cloud nodded. “That’s fine. But trust me, I'm nice compared to how Dash would handle you if she thought you were sleeping in. You don’t want to get slapped with a fine for that.”
“I know, I know.” He let out a sigh. “I'll be there.”
Cloud said. “Alight. See you there.”
Thunderlane closed the door, assumedly to apply however much manecare product was required to make his mohawk.
I gave Cloud a flat look. “A threesome? Really?”
Cloud shot me a grin. “What? It was just a joke.”
I found a grin creeping onto my own face. “Okay. I guess it was a bit funny seeing his reaction.”
Cloud chuckled. “Yeah. The way his eyes got all big and hopeful. Nothing like the idea of a threesome with a couple beautiful mares to get a stallion’s hopes up.” She shook her head. “That was a bit mean, but so worth it.”
“I suppose it's alright as long as no feelings were hurt.” I gestured my head for us to get moving again, and the two of us started towards the next house on our list.
Cloud nodded. “Just like one of Rainbow's pranks.” She poked me in the shoulder. “And you can thank Rainbow for introducing me to pranking, by the way.”
“She got you started on that habit, did she?” Rainbow was a fairly infamous prankster, and I had been the victim of more than a few since I had come to know her. Especially when she and Pinkie Pie had joined forces.
“Pretty much,” Cloud confirmed. “All the way back at Flight Camp. Granted, she wasn’t great at the whole planning part of her pranks back then, and absolutely terrible at covering her tracks. Probably ‘cause she wanted everypony to know she did it. You don’t write your name in liquid rainbow across all the training clouds if you’re trying to get away with it.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Anyway, once she got me into it she stuck to coming up with the big ideas, and it usually fell on me to plan out all the little details and logical issues. Nowadays, we mail each other pretty often.”
“I generally try and stay out of prank wars,” I said. “I'm a bit worried I'll get too wound up by it.” That was one issue with having so much magical power and knowing as many spells as I do, there was always the temptation to use that power. Abuse it, even. There were dozens of rather devious things I could do with what I had my disposal if I put my mind to it.
“That might be for the best,” Cloud said. “I know I wouldn’t want to provoke an Alpha-level unicorn. No offense.”
I shook my head. “None taken. I think that was technically a compliment anyway.”
We reached the third address on our list. Cloudy Skies’ cloudhouse floated up above us, and I saw a pegasus flying about gathering clouds.
“Huh, I wonder what she’s up to.” Cloud waved to the pegasus to get her attention.
I watched as the pegasus continued to gather clouds. “I’m not sure. She’s collecting those clouds for something though.”
Cloudy Skies noticed us and flew down to land before us. “Oh, hey Cloud, Twilight.” She gave us a guilty smile, her frame tense.
“Hey, Cloudy.” Cloud took a quick glance at the gathered clouds above us. “So ... why aren't you at tornado duty?”
Cloudy Skies let out a long sigh. “Sorry, I'm trying to fulfill a favor I owe to the flower shop. I was planning to water their flowers real quick before the muster, but then I woke up later than I intended, and then it took way longer than I thought it would to gather the clouds I needed, and...” Her wings drooped. “This morning has been a mess. I made the promise before tornado duty got scheduled, and now I’m in over my head.”
“Sometimes that happens.” Cloud looked down the street to where the flower shop sat. “The flower shop, huh?” Cloud sighed and spread her wings. “Right, let's get it done fast. You know if flower trio doesn't get their plants watered, they'll be fainting and wailing about 'the horror!' for days."
"I swear, they're the biggest drama queens I've ever seen," Cloudy Skies said.
"Same here," Cloud agreed. "And trust me, they are just as overdramatic in bed. The foursome was nice, but my poor eardrums..." That comment made me imagine the flower trio screaming out in ecstasy without Cloud even touching them. It was times like this that make me hate my imagination.
But the three mares that ran the flower shop being notorious drama queens was my own impression of them too. Their reaction to the bunny stampede had certainly been excessive. At least the way Rarity had put it, the three of them had been very popular in school, and they had never quite acclimated to the idea of not being at the center of the universe. Part of me wondered if that was self-commentary on her part, however unintentional.
Cloudy Skies stretched out her wings and sighed. "But I owe them for a past favor. Really, they're nice when you get to know them."
After considering how much time we had to find everypony on the list, I said, "It should be alright for us to finish this real quick." Cloud was a weatherpony after all. She should know how to do a job like this in very little time.
"Let's knock this out quick," Cloud said as she took off. "We've got a lot of other ponies to sort out."
I waited patiently as the two of them went about gathering enough clouds to create a quick downpour. I was pretty good with waiting, but not so much waiting while doing nothing. Shame I had forgotten to bring a book with me when I left the library while I was in a half-awake stupor.
Eventually, I heard a trio of voices call from down the street.
"Oh thank you!"
"You're a lifesaver! Our business is saved!"
"Our flowers aren't all going to die! Yay!"
I was pretty sure I could see the flower shop owners dancing with each other down the street as a raincloud precipitated on their flowers. In the sky I could see Cloudy Skies flying to where all the other pegasi had gathered. That was at least one pony back on the right track.
Cloud Kicker fluttered back over to me and applied her face to her hoof—whether out of actual embarrassment at the flower trio's antics or consternation, I couldn't tell.
"They at it again, I take it?" I said, asking the obvious.
Cloud rubbed at her forehead. "When are they not?"
"At least that's one pegasus taken care of." I double checked the list to confirm where we needed to go. "Seems Bluebreeze is up next."
Cloud rolled her eyes, a sense of exasperation to the gesture. "Why am I not surprised?"
Her response caused me to raise an eyebrow. "He a problem pony?"
"One of those perennial slacker types," Cloud said with clear displeasure in her tone. "Always some excuse for why he didn't get things done on time, or half-flanked the job whenever we pull him for weather work."
"Ah, that type." About half the times Rainbow complained about her job, it involved somepony not pulling their weight and either causing everypony else on the team to have to work extra hard to pick up the slack or creating a headache for her when somepony complained about the sloppy job that had been done with the weather. "I guess you get to learn everypony's type in the weather service. Especially when you have to pull pegasi from outside the weather service now and then."
"Pretty much," she said. "Either way, we need to see what his deal is. Even if I have a pretty good guess that it’s going to be another lame excuse for skipping work.” She sighed and rubbed her face. “Plus, he lives halfway across town from where we are, so it’s a long walk."
“Then we better get moving.” The two of us trotted towards his home. Not wanting to walk in complete silence, I asked, “So, um, how are things between you and Derpy these days?”
Cloud shot me a teasing grin. “Why Twilight, are you asking about my sex life?”
That response caused me to splutter incoherently for a few seconds before I could create a proper sentence. “I was just creating conversation! Not my fault that sex is a big part of your life.”
“Fair enough,” she said. “And yeah, things are good on that front. Derpy and I ... we've been having some good times lately.”
The way Cloud said that and the fact that this relationship had been ongoing for a while now made me wonder where it might be going between them. “Doesn't it make things awkward when you're already friends?”
“Not really. I mean...” Cloud struggled for a moment as she pulled her words together. “It's pretty much just being friends, but with awesome sex too. So even better.”
I frowned pensively as I considered that. “I guess that's a bit odd for me to wrap my head around.”
“It's ... well, no offense,” she said cautiously, “but it's hard to explain just how nice sex is to somepony who's never ... y'know.”
“Had sex?” I finished for her.
“Right, right,” Cloud said. “Just didn't want to poke at it if it's still a bit of a sore spot.”
“I wouldn't call it a sore spot.” It wasn’t like I was ashamed of being a virgin. It just meant I had never had sex, not neglected some great moment of enlightenment in my life.
“Good, then. If being a virgin makes you happy, then that's fine.” She gave a shrug. “I don't really get it, but you probably don't get why I'm the way I am.”
“I can't say I do,” I admitted. “But I would like to figure that out. You're a lot different than most ponies I've met. I guess I'm just curious what makes you different.”
Cloud gave me a curious look. “What, studying me didn't give you that answer?”
“It gave me some answers, but... I don't know,” I finished weakly. I knew a lot of things about Cloud Kicker, but I didn’t really understand her. Part of me wondered if that was because she was so wrapped up in a topic I knew very little about. “There is still a lot I don't know.”
“I suppose if we're hanging out together all week, now's your chance to find out.” We arrived at Bluebreeze’s house. “But we can deal with that after we’ve dealt with our slacker here.” Cloud trotted up to the door, briefly brushing up against my side, making me wonder if it had been intentional or not. It didn’t help that I wasn’t sure how to feel about being touched like that, anymore. The best I could do for the moment was put it out of my mind and focus on the task at hoof as Cloud knocked on the door.
A sea-blue pegasus stallion opened the door and frowned when he saw the two of us. “Oh, hey, what brings you to my place?” He smiled at us, but it struck me as forced.
“Hey, Blue. You’re missing tornado duty,” Cloud said firmly.
“Yeah, about that.” Bluebreeze rubbed the back of his neck. “A family emergency came up, so I can't come.”
“Uh-huh,” Cloud said skeptically. “What kind of emergency?”
He shuffled a bit in place. “My grandma died yesterday, so I'm a bit down about that. Got funeral stuff to go to. You know how it is.” The way he made it sound, it was more of a burden to him than something he was actually sad about.
“Riiight.” Cloud gave his a very unhappy frown. “Is this the same one who died about four months back? Or the one who died last year? Or...”
“Hey, I have a lot of grandmas,” Bluebreeze protested, his tone testy.
“Obviously, with how often you need to take off work to go their funerals.” Cloud narrowed her eyes, and I got the impression that this wasn’t the first time she had danced this dance. “I'm pretty sure you've tried that one at least half a dozen times.”
Bluebreeze lifted his nose in a defiant gesture. “Also, I have a bugpony coming by to check my house for termites, and I don’t want to miss my appointment.” Cloud and I gave him a flat, unconvinced look. “And my icebox is broken, and somepony is coming by to fix that.”
“You done making excuses?” Cloud asked, her patience wearing thin in her tone. “Because I’ve heard all of these before from you, and I’m not buying them.”
“I’m also not feeling well.” He let out a halfhearted cough. “I don’t want everypony to catch what I’ve got.”
“You’re really not helping your cause, you know that?” I asked. I pulled out one of the forms and started writing on it. “I really don’t want to do this, but you should know that the fine for not showing up for tornado duty is five hundred bits a day.” I liked to think of myself as a patient pony, but Bluebreeze’s attitude was wearing on me fast. I could accept him not being wild about having to report for tornado duty, but being outright lazy irritated me.
Bluebreeze’s eye widened. “Wait, what?! That’s outrageous!” He looked to Cloud. “Look, it’s just tornado duty, Cloud. It doesn't matter. Plenty of pegasi should have shown up to do the job. We don’t need everypony in town to show up just so the weather manager can stroke her ego by breaking some record nopony cares about.”
Cloud’s tone took on a steely resolve. “Yeah, it does matter, and as far as you’re concerned, it doesn’t matter what Dash’s goals are. You're legally obligated to participate. So get moving unless you want to rack up thirty-five hundred bits in fines over the next week.”
He groaned and rubbed his face. “No reason to be such a hardflank.”
“Rainbow needs everypony out there. That includes you.” Cloud jabbed a hoof the direction of the mustering field. “So stop slacking off and get your plot in gear.” She stomped a hoof. “Now!”
“Fine, fine, I’m going.” Bluebreeze grumble something under his breath as he closed the door after himself.
Cloud nodded sharpely. “And don't think I won't check on you. If you ditch training early, you'll get the fine just the same as a no-show.”
He winced at that. “Gotcha, I'll be there. No need to ride me.” He took flight and headed towards the mustering field.
Once he was a safe distance away, Cloud let out a deep breath. “Well, I think that got him moving.”
“It seemed to.” I looked at the rest of the names on the list wistfully. “Hopefully none of the other ponies on the list will be that much of a problem.”
Cloud shrugged. “If they are, we'll manage. Not like I don’t have plenty of experience with rounding up ponies and getting them to do a job they don’t want to do.”
“That must be rough,” I commented.
“It’s not so bad,” Cloud said. “While most pegasi don’t want to get pulled off for weather duty, most are willing to do their part without too much of an issue.”
“I’m thankful I don’t have to deal with something like that most of the time.” Getting everypony motivated for something like Winter Wrap-Up wasn’t exactly easy, and that was a once-a-year thing that everypony knew needed to get done. I could only imagine the headache doing something like that on a weekly basis would be.
Cloud turned from staring after Bluebreeze to give me a grin. “Nope, just lots of books and a dragon assistant to worry about.”
I grinned back. “And that’s plenty for me.” I suddenly felt my fatigue from the morning come over me again. Knowing where we were at in Ponyville, I asked Cloud, “Mind if we take a break to get a coffee over there?” I pointed down to the cafe that sat at the street corner. “I'm not awake enough for this.”
“Sure, I'll take you out for coffee.” Her grin turned into a teasing one. “But don't start getting ideas.”
I snorted, enjoying the humor of the moment much more than our reaction with Bluebreeze. “Yes, we wouldn't want anypony getting the wrong ideas. Don’t worry, I’ll manage to refrain from throwing myself at you while we’re drinking coffee at the cafe.”
“My allure has been known to make ponies do crazy things.” She turned and flicked her tail, and it brushed my nose. “Not like I'm a loose mare who'll just put out for anypony who buys me coffee.”
I didn’t dignify that with a comment, and the two of us headed into the cafe. “Anything you want?” I asked as I headed to the counter. “My treat.”
Cloud sat down at one of the tables. “I could go for some of that iced lemonade.”
I looked at the menu and confirmed that lemonade was indeed offered. “Alright, one sec.” I ordered the lemonade, and a coffee and bagel for myself. Once I received my order, I returned to our table and placed everything down. “Here you go.”
“Thanks.” Cloud sipped at her lemonade and lay back in her chair. “So ... read any good books lately?”
I smiled as the topic turned to something I liked. “Oh yes, plenty. I finished one on transmutation theory last night. Then the day before that I got through a couple of novels of a science fiction series I'm reading. Then there was the history book I read covering the modernization of the caribou tribes. Things have been really interesting up there ever since somepony finally dealt with Ember the Crystalline.” I frowned in annoyance and amended, “Though that’s a bit too recent to show up in most history books.”
“Sounds fun.” She took another sip of her lemonade. “I've been trying to slog through Shadow Kicker's memoirs lately, but ... urgh. I swear, Noun Verb must have a deep hatred for the Equestrian language.”
“Oh, him,” I groaned. “The bane of early modern classical literature.” Noun Verb had been a scholar from eight centuries ago, and in my opinion had managed to mangle a large volume of classical works in his misguided attempts to make them available to a more modern audience. It didn’t help that many of the original copies of those works no longer existed, and now all we had to work with was the incomplete or mistranslated copies Noun Verb had created.
Cloud nodded. “Somepony needs to go back over some of the books he butchered and fix them.”
"That's been the project of more than one pony, trust me. Noun Verb was ... prolific in his manglings." In addition to the efforts of scholars to try and restore old writings back to their former glory and make them available to modern readers, there were several outstanding rewards for those who could find original copies of a number of classics. One student on an academic trip to the Zebrican Empire had managed to make herself a small fortune by discovering several such works in an old monastic library. True, all the scrolls had been in Zebrican, but they seemed to be direct translations none-the-less.
"Oh well." Cloud shrugged and returned to drinking her lemonade. "Either way, I've been working on it off-and-on for a while. You know, family history and all that."
"It would make sense that you would want to read about one of the most important ponies of your family." Shadow Kicker was one of the most famous matriarchs of the Kicker Clan, and instrumental in the destruction of Pegasopolis and in propelling Equestria into the early modern period, at least depending on which historians you asked. Her role in the Lunar Rebellion and the fact a great deal had been written about her by contemporaries made her a favorite subject for that time period.
"Pretty much," Cloud said. "I mean, I'm technically a member of the Cult of Shadow and all."
"Technically?"
Cloud gave another shrug. "It's been a while since I was ... y'know, active."
"Ah, I understand," I said, guessing the likely source of her statement. "You wouldn't exactly be the first pony to stop regularly showing up for religious meetings. Whatever your personal reasons are."
"Point." Her head tilted in a curious look. "What about you?"
"Me? I'm a member of the Cult of Sol Invictus," I said. "Though that's mostly been private stuff since moving to Ponyville."
Cloud nodded. "I guess that's no surprise. Sparkles are big sponsors of the cult, and you did spend a long time as Celestia's student."
I let out an embarrassed chuckle. "You can say it comes with the territory. Little hard not to be influenced when you're being mentored by the ruler to Equestria and your family has a long history of serving the princess."
"I guess so." Cloud leaned back in her chair and glanced at the ponies who were starting to gather in a line to be served. It seemed that now that the sun was up the morning rush was starting to come in.
"Eyes wandering again?" I felt a bit of irritation when it seemed as though Cloud had found more interesting things to look at rather than the pony talking to her right across the table.
Her eyes turned back to me as I scowled at her and she perked up and returned her full attention to me, making me wonder if she realized what she had done. "Just curious to see who's around. Never know if one of the ponies we’re looking for might come waltzing in here."
"Riiight..." I said, not sounding convinced even to myself. "Mind if I ask you a few questions? They’re a bit more private in nature."
Cloud waved for me to continue. “Go for it.”
I took a long drink of my coffee as I went over my thoughts. “I guess... I suppose I just don't get the whole sex thing. A lot of ponies like you are pretty preoccupied by the subject, while I...” I shrugged. “I don't know. I've never put a ton of thought into it. I’ve always had other things to preoccupy my time that felt a lot more important to do.”
“Everypony has different priorities,” Cloud said. “Nothing wrong with that.”
“True,” I said. “I always put my studies above everything else.”
She nodded. “So now you're thinking about broadening your horizons a bit?”
“Maybe,” I hedged. “Friendship was something I excluded from my life for a long, long time, and now I've come to regret that. It could be I've made the same mistake with romance, or maybe not. I’m not sure at this point. It's just that I never considered it due to ... my issues.”
“The whole obsessive student thing?” Cloud winced. “Sorry, didn’t mean to make it sound that bad.”
I waved the accidental insult off. To be fair, it was true. “Right, that. And also because I always figured I would get into an arranged marriage, so I didn't think romance was even worth bothering with. It just seemed like a bunch of trouble to get into.”
Cloud tapped at the top of the table. “And now you're realizing your options are wide open, and you're one of Ponyville's most eligible bachelorettes?”
“Something like that, yeah.” I thought it was a bit much to call me one of Ponyville’s most eligible bachelorettes, but it was nice of Cloud to say so. “I've never been on a date before, or kissed—or even held somepony's hoof. Much less, um...” I had to clear my throat before I could continue. “Visited one of Canterlot's brothels. I've been led to believe that most ponies in the city tend to get their first experience that way. The two of us are completely different from one another that way.”
“No kidding,” Cloud said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with your life, don’t get me wrong.” She gave me a smile. “You’ve done a lot with your life already, and I admire that. It’s that we’re just different ponies.”
“A bit of an obvious statement.” I let out a long breath. “Still, I can't help but sense that my perspective has changed a bit.”
“Oh yeah? Thinking about maybe picking up a coltfriend for yourself?” She grinned a mischievous grin. “Or a fillyfriend?”
I worked to keep Cloud’s comments from derailing my train of thought. “Maybe, I don't know. I’m still thinking all of this through. It seems so daunting in and of itself.”
“Daunting?” Cloud scoffed. “Nah, it's easy. At least once you know what you’re doing.”
I gave her a teasing grin. “So says the pony who has had sex with about a third of the town.”
Cloud made an impish smirk. “Only a third? Give me some credit, it’s at least half.” She finished off her lemonade and placed it to the side. “But seriously, what part's tripping you up?”
“How about everything?” I sighed and rubbed at my forehead. “There's the complete lack of experience I have, and what little I do have isn't exactly good.” It was an effort not to grimace at the memories of Fluttershy rejecting me, or how I had embarrassed myself in front of Princess Celestia. “This is something I have no practice at. Which in turn doesn’t exactly help raise my confidence.”
Cloud’s mouth contorted in a contemplative frown. “Well, the only way to get more experience is to go out there and try. Dating is like most things, you have to do it in order to get better at it.”
“I suppose that’s true,” I said. “I guess I need to think about it, and how I want to go about this.”
Cloud grinned and her ears perked. “I know what you need! A practice date! I'm gonna guess that the problem is that you're nervous and have too many expectations. That sound about right?”
I gave her a cautious nod. “Yeah, that is what it sounds like.”
“So. a practice date means no nerves or expectations, right?” she asked.
“True, if it's just practice.” Giving myself practice tests had been one of my methods for helping me deal with the stress of an upcoming test. It seemed reasonable that a practice date might help me with the same issues here.
Cloud nodded. “Then I think we have a gameplan.”
“I suppose we just need a pony for the practice date,” I mused. “With no pressure or expectations with the event. I wouldn’t want to get anypony’s expectations up or cause any awkwardness.”
“Always one of your friends,” Cloud suggested.
I hummed myself as I thought about the possibility. “That might be a solution. Even if that might be a bit awkward.” After what had recently happened with Fluttershy, I really didn’t want to go on even a practice date with her. It would be too painful.
“Rarity’s quite the social butterfly, you know.”
I stroked my chin as I thought it over. “I guess I could ask if she's alright with the idea. I don't want to make things awkward for her, but I'm sure Rarity will understand. She’s usually really good about stuff like this.”
“No harm in asking, right?” She grinned mischievously. “Have fun.”
“I'm a bit surprised you didn't offer yourself as a candidate for this,” I commented. “Given you're you, no offense.”
Cloud shrugged. “I figured you'd be more comfortable with one of your buddies.” Her grin returned and she leaned towards me. “But if you want to date me...” She waggled her eyebrows invitingly.
I grinned back at her, feeling a bit naughty myself now that Cloud had gotten me into the mood for it. “I don't know, do I want to date you? And do you want to date me? It is just supposed to be a practice date. That means no kissing, a low likelihood of hoof-holding, and certainly no chance of banging.”
“Well...” Cloud brushed a hoof against her chest. “I don't mean to brag, but I am the top playpony in all of Ponyville.” She chuckled to herself. “So actually, yeah, bragging a bit. Just saying, if you want to know about dating, I am an expert.”
I finished off my coffee as I considered the proposal. True, Cloud could make me uncomfortable, but I had been getting along with her as of late now that we understood each other a bit better. Not to mention it would be good to learn from somepony who was accomplished at dating. I would probably be more comfortable with Rarity, but I could always ask for her assistance later. No reason I had to restrict myself to one practice date, and getting two different perspectives on the topic would probably be beneficial for my purposes.
“I suppose we can give it a shot then,” I finally agreed. I gave her a teasing poke to the ribs. “As long as you remember to keep this in friendly, practice date territory and don’t try and whisk me off to your bed.”
Cloud grinned back. “Cool. And relax, I'll be a perfect gentlemare. I know where the borders are here. I certainly don’t want to be the mare who turned you off of dating. You deserve a lot better than that.”
“It would be nice to relax for once.” I levitated our trash to the trashcan. “It's been a while since I could really do that.” While it had only been a few short weeks since I had first gotten my assignment from Princess Luna, it felt a lot longer due to everything that had happened, and most likely it was going to be even longer before I was done.
“Deal.” Cloud stood up and stretched out her wings. “A nice relaxing dinner, some good conversation, all the usual stuff. And I won't even flirt with you.” It was a second before she added, “too much.”
I chuckled at the jest. “Flirting is supposed to be part of dating, or so I've heard.”
“Exactly,” Cloud said with a nod. “I mean, I'd be a pretty poor date if I didn't tell you how lovely you looked at some point.”
I stood up, trying to not let Cloud’s compliment affect me. “I'll make sure to write up some notecards for my own flirts.”
Cloud barely contained a giggling snort. “Oh, I just know you're going to make a big checklist for this date...”
“And do research ahead of time. I want to be prepared,” I added. I wanted to be fully prepared, even if it was a practice date. No sense being sloppy about this just because there weren’t any strings attached.
“But of course. I think about three books on dating will do it.”
“I'll see if there are that many in the library,” I agreed. “If not, I'll order some.”
Cloud chuckled. For whatever reason, a lot of ponies were amused whenever I determined I was going to research a new topic. I supposed it was because I sought to be a lot more prepared than most ponies would bother with. “This'll certainly be interesting.”
I ran a hoof through my mane. “No joke. When will this little play-date be?”
Cloud pursed her lips in thought. “I'll pick you up the Wednesday night the week after we’re done with Tornado Day?”
I nodded. “Next Wednesday night should be fine.”
“It's a date.” Cloud stretched out a wing, inviting me under it. “So, back to work?”
Seeing no real reason not to, I stepped under the wing, and let her wrap it around me. “Yep, back to work.” There was still a lot to do before I could concentrate on pleasures.
Ditzy Doo gave me a sheepish smile as the concessions table burned a little ways from the racetrack. Blossomforth was leading a hoofful of pegasi to gather a raincloud and put the fire out. After another morning of searching for shirkers to tornado duty, I had hoped to get something quick to eat. Sadly, my derailment quota had other ideas.
"Um, well you see..." Ditzy cleared her throat and shuffled her hooves. More than a few ponies were giving her dirty looks. "I was making a sandwich when..." She struggled to find the right word before settling on, "fwoosh."
I cocked an eyebrow. "Fwoosh?"
Derpy nodded. "Fwoosh."
"That tells me what happened, but not how."
Rainbow smacked herself in the face with a hoof. “Derpy, this is exactly why I didn’t get anything that might catch fire for lunch, but somehow you did it anyways.” She groaned and ran her hoof down her face. “Why do I even bother?”
For today, it had been build-your-own-sandwiches and chips. Things that should not have caught fire easily. Part of me was beginning to wonder if there was secretly the soul of a pyromaniac underneath the bubbly exterior of Ditzy Doo.
Cloud Kicker chuckled. "That's Derpy for you. She once set cereal on fire. That's not even getting into the fire tornado incident."
Ditzy groaned and covered her face. "Nopony is ever going to let that go, are they?"
Cloud grinned. "Not on your life."
Rainbow let out an amused laugh. “It’s pretty funny, in hindsight.” She glanced at the table, and seeing that it was being put out by Blossomforth’s team, called out to everypony that had gathered to watch the incident. “Alright, all of you get back to work!” When there was a disheartened groan from the crowd, Rainbow cracked her voice like a whip. “I said now! That tornado ain’t gonna make itself, you know!”
That got the crowd moving, and they all returned to the training activities they had been doing before the inexplicable fire had caught their attention. Rainbow turned back to the rest of us. “You too, Derpy. Just—try not to set anything else on fire, okay?”
Derpy let out a chuckle that spoke of her own embarrassment. “I’ll try, promise. Until next time.” She left to rejoin her team, hopefully not to unleash the little arsonist inside of her just waiting to burst out into the world.
Rainbow let out a low groan and rubbed at her eyes. “Great, that’s exactly what I needed right now. Now everypony is going to be hungry on top of everything else.” Before I could try and reassure her that we could probably get more food, something my growling belly and I were all for, Rainbow switched topics. "How'd it go with getting all the missing ponies?"
"About the same as the last two days." That was to say, not so great. I levitated over the clipboard with the list of missing ponies on it, now with additional marks saying what had happened to them. "We had a few that were just trying to skip out on tornado duty, a few more that were sick, and now we have a few injuries."
Rainbow's eyes scanned the page, and she let out an annoyed grumble. "Seriously? We don't have time for this! We need all hooves on deck!"
"A hundred percent attendance was never going to happen, Dash," Cloud pointed out.
Rainbow made a derisive snort. "Not with that attitude. I'm putting a hundred and twenty percent into this. The least everypony else could do is give a hundred and ten. Instead, they're only giving seventy." She jabbed a hoof at some of the ponies racing along the track. "Half the ponies here are treating this like it's a paid vacation. This is Ponyville's pride on the line here, and they're half-flanking it."
Noting that Rainbow was becoming more agitated, I spoke in a soothing manner. "There were always going to be those that weren't as committed to this as you are, even with the threat of fines. Hay, Closed Deal went ahead and paid all the fines ahead of time. She said that she earned more money at her job than she would on tornado duty, even after subtracting the fines." When we showed up at her business to see why she hadn't shown up for tornado duty, Closed Deal had simply asked what the fine would be and then gave us the thirty-five hundred bits.
It took a few seconds of indignant sputtering before Rainbow could make a comprehensible sentence. "But-but she can't do that!"
"Legally, she can," I said. "I checked the law books last night. Fines are the only punishment a pegasus can face when avoiding tornado duty. Sorry, but our hooves are tied on that." I didn't like the fact that Closed Deal was using her money to get herself out of tornado duty, but the law was the law, and it would have struck me as extreme to start arresting ponies for something like this. Not when they weren't really hurting anypony.
"B-but, but, but..." Rainbow made an angry growl and threw the clipboard to the ground. "It isn't fair!"
Cloud made a pacifying gesture with her hooves. "Whoa, calm down, Boss. We'll make it work."
"At least Fluffy Clouds and Moonrunner had only overslept." I gave her an encouraging smile that felt strained at the edges. It just didn't seem like anything that would please her unless we could drag everypony to the mustering field, and that just wasn't going to happen.
"That's ... better than nothing, I guess." Rainbow turned to Cloud. "Think you could get the others to come in with your ... y'know..."
I couldn't help but frown at what she was implying. "Are you seriously suggesting that Cloud—proposition herself to get them to come?"
Cloud gave her an equally unamused frown. "Yeah, that's not gonna happen, Dash."
"What? No, I just meant..." Rainbow groaned and ran a hoof down her face. "Y'know, with her so-called 'charm' and stuff, not ... urgh, minds out of gutters!"
"I'm already laying on the charms as is," Cloud said. "Trust me, I'm busting my flank out there trying to get everypony to come."
I nodded in agreement. The two of us had gone the extra mile to help Rainbow. I had helped ponies with everything from weeding their gardens to helping organize their homes to get them to come to tornado duty. We knew that it was bodies that Rainbow needed the most for her plans, not ponies getting fined, but there was only so much that could be done. "If us asking nicely and the threat of a fine aren't going to bring them in, I don't think anything will."
Rainbow's wings flashed out. "But I need them if we're gonna break that record!"
This was one of my greatest worries during the Tornado Day planning, that Rainbow was setting unrealistically high expectations of what she could do with her available labor pool. She seemed to forget that this was a town that hadn’t been able to be on time with its Winter Wrap Up for years. Shame all it seemed we could do for her was try our best and hope for the best.
"We’ll do what we can, but I can't guarantee anything," I said.
Her wings wilted and her face looked downcast as she stared at the ground. "Okay, just ... just get it done. I do not need anything else going wrong right now." She let out a sigh and drew herself back up again, but without the usual bravado I was accustomed to seeing in her. "By the way, can you run things for a bit, Cloud?"
Cloud’s ears perked up. “Yeah, sure. What's up?”
“Gotta go talk to Flutters,” Rainbow said, waving vaguely in the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage.
“She still hasn't shown up?” This was the third day in a row she hadn’t signed in for Tornado Day. The rule follower in me said that Fluttershy should be racking up fines as a result of that, and I should tell Rainbow to get on that. After all, Cloud and I had been doing that very thing across Ponyville. Though it was difficult to say the least to advocate fining one of my best friends, and at the end of the day it was Rainbow’s call as weather manager.
Rainbow shrugged. “She's supposed to be in later today, but I wanna check on her.”
“Alright, I'll run some more teams by the anemometer to see how their wingpower is coming along then, if that's alright,” I said.
“Yeah, sure. You know how that works.” A grin returned to Rainbow’s face. “If somepony's below ten, yell at them to try harder. If they're above ten, yell so they don't slack off.”
I frowned at her. “As sure as I am that that’s a viable encouragement strategy, I'm not going to yell at anypony, Rainbow.” Some of her more aggressive methods had caught me off guard when I had been recording everypony’s wingpower the first day of training. Her ways were just not mine.
“Don’t worry.” Cloud poked me in the ribs with an elbow and grinned. “I can handle that part of it.”
“Just so long as it gets done.” Rainbow’s tail gave an annoyed flick. “Oh, I crunched the numbers for the tornado again, can you double-check my math while I'm out? 'Cause I'd really like to be wrong.”
“Sure, I can do that,” I said. “Where are your numbers?” Rainbow passed over a slightly used napkin with a bunch of figures scrawled onto it. Naturally this was in her usual chicken scratch writing, which had also torn the napkin up in a few places. And was that… was that doodle supposed to be me?
I scowled at her. “Right, I'll get right on that. Though next time can you use actual paper?”
Rainbow shrugged. “What? I had the napkin right there. You’re the one that’s always telling me stuff like ‘waste not, want not.’”
“It's a little hard to read off of,” I pointed out.
Rainbow craned her head in to look the napkin over. She casually wiped off some half-dried frosting from it and ate it. While that did make it a bit easier to read, I couldn’t imagine that was terribly hygienic. “That help?” she asked, ignoring my grimace.
I suppressed the urge to chastise her manners or the state of her notes. “How about I collect those new numbers with the anemometer and draw up a new figure based on those?”
“Yeah yeah, whatever works,” Rainbow said dismissively. She was a results-oriented pony; as long as she got what she wanted, she would be happy.
“I'll get on that.” Looking towards the anemometer, I saw Spike busily recording wingpower measurements as pegasi flew past it. “Spike's been doing alright with the anemometer while I've been gone?”
“Yeah, he’s doing fine.” Rainbow nodded. “It's not all that hard to use, really.”
“No, not really. Just thought I'd ask,” I said. “If there isn’t anything else, I better get back to work with the anemometer and check in with him.”
“Yeah, see ya.” Rainbow took off like a dart and streaked toward Fluttershy’s home.
I frowned as I watched her fly off. “You think Rainbow is doing alright, Cloud?”
Cloud rubbed the back of her neck. “She’s looking kinda stressed. Not surprised, this is a big thing for her.” She stretched out her wings and gave them a flap. “Well, best way to de-stress her is to get everything working smoothly. The more that goes right, the less she’ll worry about.”
“Sounds like a plan.” I walked towards Spike and the anemometer and Cloud followed. “Let’s get to work then.”
“Sure.” Cloud gave me a mischievous grin. “So, did I mention how pretty you’re looking today?”
I gave an amused snort. “Earlier this morning, if I remember right.” Not that I was going to complain. It was actually kind of nice to get complimented like that.
“It’s still true now,” Cloud said in a sultry manner.
“Oh stop, lover-filly.” I bumped her hips with my own. “We’re in public.”
Cloud’s grin never missed a beat. “Hey, I’m willing to let everypony know how pretty you are.” She took a deep breath and might’ve started shouting if I hadn’t hastily put a hoof over her mouth.
“Don’t you dare,” I warned her. “I’m not particularly anxious to see if I can die by embarrassment right now.”
“Aw, that’s a shame.” She puckered her lips in a pout. “You’re cute when you blush.”
I felt my cheeks warm slightly at that. “I am not,” I mumbled.
Cloud grinned and tossed a wing over my back. “Are too. See, you’re doing it right now, and it’s adorable.” She let the wing linger on my back for a few moments before she removed it, and I was a bit surprised to find I missed it once it was gone. Wings are just so warm and feathery and comfortable...
Darn it, my cheeks were burning red enough that everypony around us could probably see it. Cloud could be so terrible. Stupid anatomy having such an obvious sign when I’m flustered. “I need to go ... er ... anemometer ... check ... wing ... thing.” I trotted to put some distance between us. Though despite how she had disconcerted me, I found myself grinning once I was a bit away from her. Even if it did fluster me a bit, it was nice to know she thought I was pretty.
“What’re you grinning about?” It took me a few moments to realize that it was Spike who had addressed me.
“Oh, um, what?” I asked, trying to pull my thoughts together. It seems I had been daydreaming about something.
“Why’re you grinning like that?” Spike snickered. “You look like such a doofus with that big grin on your face and blushing like that.”
“I-I do not!” I protested.
Spike laughed all the harder. “Yeeeah, you do. Gosh, you’re blushing even harder now!” He poked me in the shoulder. “So is it because of Cloud Kicker?” He waggled his eye ridges suggestively.
“N-no!” I spouted immediately. “I mean it’s not like that!” I paused, frowning. “Wait, how do you even know about that kind of thing?!”
He snorted. “You do remember that we live in a library, right? I mean, you remember the copy of Daring Do and Mystery of Caves Cove you gave me, where there was that one scene after Daring Do and Lock Pick got out of that old haunted temple and ... well, you know.”
“Wait, you mean...” My jaw dropped as I realized what I had done. I had completely forgotten about that scene when I had given Spike a copy of that book for his birthday. It wasn’t a particularly explicit scene but... Dear Celestia, I had corrupted Spike! I hadn’t even realized I had done it! What else had I exposed Spike to that had destroyed his innocence?
“Um, Twilight? Twiiiliiight.” Spike waved a claw in front of my face. “Equestria to Twilight, mind saying something?”
“Spike! I’m sooo sorry.” The words came flowing out in a disorganized mess. “I didn’t mean to— it was an accident! You shouldn’t have—this is all my fault!”
“Geeze, relax,” Spike said casually. “It’s just sex. Not like me reading about it is the end of the world. It’s not like Daring Do is porn or anything.”
“How do you even know what porn is?!” I covered my face with my hooves, being unable to properly register everything as the world spun around me. This was it, this was the point I realized I had failed as a parent for Spike. All my preparation and careful planning for when I would tell Spike the facts of life were now so much burning debris thanks to my own ineptitude.
“So, um, are we going to get our wingpower measured or not?” asked somepony I didn’t immediately recognize. The question made me realize that I had been screaming loud enough for everypony to hear what I had been saying. That made me consider the validity of finding some rock I could hide under.
Spike whispered to me. "Sheesh, relax, Twilight." He picked up a quill and nodded to the pony. “Sure, go on ahead. I got this.”
To be fair, Spike did a good job of managing the recording of everypony’s wingpower as they all flew by the anemometer one by one. It took me a fair while before I could recollect myself. It seemed the two of us were going to be having a very specific talk much sooner than I thought considering what I had just learned about my assistant. Having that conversation certainly didn’t seem appropriate in front of everypony, even after my outburst. This day was just not going my way.
After about an hour, Rainbow Dash and Cloud Kicker came over to help supervise the process. We had gotten around to recording the numbers of about half the gathered pegasi when I noticed that Cloud and Rainbow were speaking in harsh whispers to one another. They were talking about something to do with the merits of encouraging rivalries between the pegasi gathered when Rainbow called out, “Cloud Kicker, you’re up.”
I double-checked the list of pegasi, and noted that it wasn’t close to Cloud Kicker’s turn to be tested for her wingpower. Part of me was irritated to have somepony shuffled ahead of everypony else waiting for their turn at the anemometer, but I didn’t want to cause a fuss over the matter. Rainbow must have had a reason for wanting Cloud to go at this point.
Cloud flew around the course at a good speed. I checked the readings on the anemometer and announced, “Twelve point one wingpower!”
“Twelve point one?” Rainbow made very unimpressed little snicker. “I’ve seen better numbers from Junior Speedsters.” It seemed that Rainbow couldn’t help but turn this into a contest too.
“Well get some of them in here, we could use the extra wingpower,” Cloud shot back. No doubt having plenty of experience with her boss’s banter.
With Cloud done, we returned to the regular order of the line. Eventually, it was Blossomforth’s turn. As she stretched out her wings, Cloud let out a loud, “Whoo! Go Blossom!” It wouldn’t have surprised me if Cloud was trying to win some points with her friend by encouraging her.
It seemed to work, because Blossomforth put on a little grin right before shooting forward.
“Nine point seven wingpower?” I gave her an encouraging smile. “That’s a lot higher than she ever managed when she was helping me calibrate.”
“Guess she just needed a little motivation from me,” Rainbow declared proudly. The pride in her tone quickly shifted as she frowned. “Still ... not even ten. That’s kinda low for a pony that’s supposed to be one of my assistant managers.”
“You promoted her because she’s good at running things,” Cloud pointed out. “Not because of her wing muscles,”
I glared at my friend and gave a sharp nod in agreement. The point of being a manager was being good at managing things. Physical aptitude wasn’t a big part of that. In truth, I wasn’t particularly pleased with her tendency to put ponies down when their wingpower was lower than she liked. While the water tornado was important, Rainbow didn’t need to be mean to ponies to get results. I was beginning to worry that tornado duty was bringing the worst out in my friend.
Rainbow Dash didn’t bother to address the two of us, and instead flipped to the next page of the list. “Fluttershy, your turn!”
Fluttershy winced when her name was called. I too grew worried. Fluttershy had never been a consistently good flier, which factored into why she wasn’t in weather work. She had even confided in me that she was thankful that Rainbow didn’t call her up to help push clouds most of the time. Though it isn’t a secret that she was not a strong flier, she naturally still preferred not to draw attention to it. Which, when coupled with her general timidness, made this a particularly troublesome situation.
Judging by their renewed harsh whispers, Rainbow and Cloud must have realized the same thing. As Fluttershy stepped up to the start line, trembling all the while, I bit my lip as I struggled to think of a way out for her. Calling her away would just draw more unwanted attention. The best I could think to do was to try and get some of the ponies gathered around the track to move onto other exercises. Maybe Fluttershy would feel a bit better if there wasn’t as many ponies watching her.
Rainbow dug in her hooves, and her volume reached an audible level. “No, we don’t. She’s gonna do fine.”
Cloud sighed. “Whatever you say, boss.” For my part, I could only hope that Rainbow was right.
That hope was very quickly snuffed out when Fluttershy took off from the start line at what was probably the slowest speed I had ever seen, even compared to the ponies who had been screwing around. Despite her speed, though, she looked pleasantly surprised, as though she had not expected to fly at all. Yet for some reason, the boost in confidence was short-lived when she suddenly cut her speed down to a crawl. By the time Fluttershy passed the anemometer, I could have trotted faster than she was flying.
The anemometer creaked as it moved barely a third of a rotation. A deathly silence fell over the track, beckoning to know one thing: how badly she had done.
I could scarce believe my own eyes, and as Rainbow flittered over to me, I considered telling her the calibration was faulty. Of course, it wouldn’t be true, and all progress we have made so far would have then been wasted. Ponies would get frustrated, and Cloud and I would have an even harder time convincing them to come. Given how much Rainbow wanted to beat the record, I couldn’t do that to her. And even if that didn’t happen, in the end, Fluttershy would have to do this again, thereby only delaying the inevitable.
At Rainbow’s hushed inquiry, I could only shake my head helplessly as I motioned at the marker. Her face blanched at the result. She turned a pleading eye on me, but I could only say it was accurate. She wilted slightly in resignation, and taking a deep breath, she turned to Fluttershy with a strained grin. “Great job, Fluttershy! You measured uh ... um ... point five.”
I cringed sympathetically as parts of the crowd snickered. Fluttershy wore a mix of horror, disbelief, and shame on her face. There was no way around it, that was an abysmal result. Blossomforth had only managed a point seven when she had actively tried to do that badly, and she had nearly fallen on her face trying to control her flying at those speeds.
Before I or anypony else could say anything else to create some damage control, Spike grumbled, “Point five? Isn’t that like, less than one—Ow!” I cuffed him on the back of the head and made a zipping motion but it was too late. Tears welled up in Fluttershy's eyes and she ran for it.
I was considering running after her when Rainbow beat me to it by zipping after her. It was probably for the best that Rainbow took care of this. She had known Fluttershy longer than I had, and my failed attempt to ask her out would make my efforts to comfort her awkward at best. I just had to pick a great time to make things difficult between us.
It took me a moment to realize that Cloud had said something to me. Before I could ask her what it was, she said, “Derpy, you’re up.”
Instead of heading to the track, she whispered something to Cloud, and the two of them got into a conversation.
I took the opportunity to turn to Spike. "What was that?" I asked with a displeased tone.
"What was what?" he asked, still rubbing his head and glowering at me.
"Why were you being so hard on Fluttershy?" I wanted him to be sure he knew exactly what I was talking about. "You should know how sensitive she can be about her flying."
"Well, her flying does stink," Spike said in his defense. "Everypony knows it. Nopony else did nearly that bad."
"That's beside the point,” I said. “It’s not nice, and I don’t want you treating Fluttershy or anypony else like that.”
“Rainbow Dash’s been treating everypony like that,” Spike shot back.
“And I don’t really approve of that either.” I saw Rainbow coming back—without Fluttershy. Judging by her drooped ears or how her wings were practically brushing the ground, things hadn’t gone well. That in mind, I worked to finish things up with Spike quickly. Rainbow was going to need me in a minute. “While there is such a thing as constructive criticism, the thing is—”
“Yeah yeah, you told me so!” Rainbow yelled loudly, cutting my thoughts off. She was glaring at Cloud and her lips were curled into a snarl. “You said she was gonna choke, and she choked! Are ya happy now?”
Cloud took a step back. “Whoa! I wasn’t—”
“And it was your fault!” Rainbow said, not letting Cloud get any traction. “She was probably all nervous ‘cause you were here!”
“Rainbow!” Ditzy interrupted, giving Rainbow a disapproving glower. “That’s not fair, and you—”
“Stay out of this, Derpy!” Rainbow snapped at her before going back to glaring at Cloud. “So having you around is gonna mess up Fluttershy? Fine. You’re fired. Get outta here!”
Cloud’s jaw dropped. I could hardly believe what I was hearing either. “Boss, I...”
“Didn’t you hear me?” Rainbow snarled. “I said you’re fired! Get lost!”
Cloud stood there motionlessly for a long moment before she slowly turned and took off. Many other ponies continued to stare at the scene that had taken place before them, looking unsure what they should do now.
“Rainbow, what was that?!” Ditzy’s wings unfurled aggressively.
Rainbow crossed her forelegs in front of her chest. “What? She was outta line!”
“She was out of line?” Blossomforth stomped her way over, looking every bit as incredulous as she sounded. “She didn't even do anything!”
Ditzy stomped a hoof. “You can't fire her over that!”
“Yeah, I can.” Rainbow lifted her chin, not giving an inch. “I'm the boss, I can fire anyone I want!”
Snorting in disgust, Blossomforth turned her back to Rainbow and took flight.
I decided I had sat on the sidelines long enough. This was falling apart fast, and I needed to do something to turn it around. “Um, you can’t actually just fire somepony without reason. Not without consequences.”
Rainbow snorted. “Look, she wasn't bringing in enough of the stragglers either. And you saw how she messed with Fluttershy's performance.”
It was all I could do to not huff indignantly. “First,” I said, forcing my voice to remain even, “we were doing everything we could to bring those ponies in. We did more than we technically had to. Second, I saw no such thing. What I saw was that Fluttershy was running the course, and choked at the last second for whatever reason.”
“Probably 'cause Cloud was there,” Rainbow groused.
I … what? “And how is that supposed to affect Fluttershy's wingpower performance?” Near as I could tell, Fluttershy hadn’t even been looking at Cloud when she choked. Near as I knew, the two of them hadn’t exchanged a word with one another in who knew how long.
Ditzy wasn’t looking at either of us by this point, and seemed to be trying very hard to keep her gaze to the ground. Whatever she was thinking, it was enough to keep her from talking any further.
For her part, Rainbow ground her teeth, and a series of emotions struggled over her features. “It's ... uh ... stuff you don't know about. Doesn't matter.”
I glowered. I was getting really tired of ponies refusing to tell me things that were relevant to current issues. “It matters when your friend gets hurt for it.” I drew myself up to my full height in front of Rainbow. “Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in right now? You or the weather service could very easily get sued right now for an illegal termination, and ‘stuff you don't know about’ isn't going to cut it in a courtroom.”
“What? Nah, that's not ... look, I had good reasons. You just don't know about 'em, 'cause you weren't there.”
“Reasons you can't tell me about? Reasons that may not even exist?” I shook my head. “Sorry, but I can't buy that. Nothing justifies what you did.”
Rainbow ran her hooves through her mane, making it even wilder than it normally was, letting out a groan as she did so. “Look, you're just gonna have to trust me on this one, Twilight. That's what friends do, right?”
“And do friends fire each other on a whim? How about you do the right thing and give Cloud her job back instead?” I asked. “That would make me feel a lot better, and I’m sure your friend would like to have her job back too.”
Rainbow rubbed at her face, her growing frustration clear on her features. “Look, I need to go check on Fluttershy.”
“Rainbow, we're not done here,” I insisted.
Rainbow lifted herself off the ground and made an annoyed snort. “What, you wanna yell at me some more about stuff you weren't even there for?”
“Does that even matter?! All I’m hearing right now are flimsy excuses!” I forced myself to calm and hit her with an ultimatum. “If you’re not going to explain yourself, then here is how it’s going to be, Rainbow: Either you give Cloud her job back, or I'm going to take my anemometer and go home. Because this isn't what I signed up for.”
Rainbow’s jaw dropped and she nearly plummeted to the ground when she missed a beat of her wings. “But ... but you can't do that!”
“Oh yes I can.” I scowled at her. “I'm a volunteer, I’m not getting paid to be here, and I don’t have to be here. And last time I checked, I don't have wings, so you can’t draft me for weather duty.”
“But ... but I need your help!” she protested, a whine working its way into her tone.
“I agree. So either you need to do the right thing and rehire Cloud, or you need to give me a better explanation than ‘because I know I'm right.’” I didn’t like being so hard on my friend, but neither could I condone her recent behavior, and I would be doing just that if I kept working with her. Seeing Fluttershy cry wasn’t fun for any of us, but we needed to keep a certain perspective on things. Really, what I was hoping for was that this would shock her into seeing reason. Shame Rainbow was being her usual stubborn self.
Rainbow turned to Ditzy with a desperate look. “C'mon, Derpster, help me out here.”
She didn’t meet Rainbow eyes and scuffed a hoof along the ground. “She's right, Rainbow. You need to apologize to Cloud and tell her she still has her job.”
Rainbow’s ear flicked. “You're just saying that 'cause you're her girlfriend now.”
“Now that’s not fair!” Ditzy took a steady breath to calm herself. “You can't just fire ponies on a whim and you know it.” She waved a hoof at a group of the gathered ponies, most of whom seemed to be watching us intently, and most of them did not look happy. It wasn’t hard to imagine that they were as unhappy as Ditzy and I were about Cloud’s firing. “What do you think everypony else is going to think of this?”
Looking in the direction of the crowd, Rainbow threw up her hooves in frustration. “Grah! So everypony's taking her side, huh? You're all against me?” Nopony seemed to meet her eyes. Big surprise, they were probably all worried about being punished in some way if they confronted their local weather manager when she was clearly this upset. Their silence only caused Rainbow to tremble with frustration and rage. “Fine!” She took off several feet into the air. “Of course. Everypony's gonna take her side and go against me. Just like always. Oh yeah, it's all Rainbow's fault, let's just forget about how badly she got messed up after that f—" Catching herself, she turned to look at me and Ditzy. “I’m getting outta here. Fluttershy needs me, and she’ll understand.”
“If that's what you feel you need to do,” I said with a sad sigh. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”
“Yeah, the library,” Rainbow said, her full stubbornness being brought to bear.
Ditzy frowned after her. “Rainbow, if you don't give Cloud her job back, don't expect me to show up either.”
That seemed to finally push Rainbow Dash over the edge. “If that's how it is, then fine! Whatever! I don't even care anymore!” She shot off like a bolt, leaving the rest of us with a mess to pick up.
We watched as Rainbow Dash flew away until she was over the horizon, heading towards of Fluttershy's cottage. Whether she did so intentionally or out of some instinct I could only speculate, but her wake left an uncomfortable silence. Everypony had stopped with their Tornado Day activities and were looking to one another and whispering quietly.
Ditzy Doo applied her hoof to her face. "Rainbow, you numbskull."
"I don't think she's going to be coming back anytime soon," I said lamely.
My mind was already racing about what to do next. While it was true I had said I was going to quit helping with Tornado Day activities if Rainbow Dash didn't give Cloud Kicker her job back, that was more to push Rainbow to do the right thing, not sabotage Tornado Day preparations.
Though now I wondered if I had taken the right approach in the heat of the moment. Confronting Rainbow Dash in front of everypony had only provoked her pride and put her on the defensive. It didn't sit well with me that my attempt to fix things had only made them worse. Now I had a full crisis—both with my friendship to Rainbow Dash and Tornado Day in general.
But now wasn’t the time to focus on what had already happened, figuring out how to get Tornado Day preparations back on track was the more pressing concern. Before I could figure out what to do next, one of the gathered pegasi, Flitter I remembered right, trotted up to me. "Um, what are we supposed to do now? Because Rainbow, Cloud, and Blossomforth are all gone." Suddenly there were a lot of eyes on me as everypony looked to me for direction.
"Yeah, who's in charge now?" asked Flitter's twin sister, Cloudchaser.
Ditzy looks to me. "Um ... that's a good question."
Knowing I didn't have time to think of a real plan, I went with the best option I could think of after everything that had happened. I raised my hoof high into the air to catch everypony still left's attention. "Um ... I'm in charge now. We're calling it a day now! Everypony is doing really well, so take some time to rest those muscles and be ready to hit it up again tomorrow morning!"
It was far from ideal, but there was no way I could run everything by myself. Especially when I was only a volunteer, and I doubted Rainbow Dash had put in paperwork to give me any kind of official authority. After all the drama that had happened, it seemed best to just call it for the day, and pray we could get everything moving smoothly again tomorrow.
Cloudchaser exchanged an unsure glance with her sister. "Is Rainbow Dash gonna be back tomorrow?"
Thinking fast about how to respond and cover for my friend, I said, "Rainbow might have some paperwork to do, but don't worry, everypony else should be here." At least I hoped I could get Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth back in their roles as assistant weather managers. It all depended on how much damage control could be done over the next few hours.
"Even Cloud?" Flitter asked. "Rainbow just fired her."
I suppressed a wince as she pointed out the obvious. "They're just having a managerial disagreement," I tried to reason, though the explanation sounded weak even to me. "Everything should be normal starting tomorrow. All of you don't need to worry about that, just make sure to be here at the normal time for Tornado Duty."
"Let's not spread rumors, okay?" Ditzy offered quickly. "It's been a bit of a day, but we'll all be back tomorrow bright and early."
Bluebreeze raised a hoof. "Do we still have to show up if Rainbow isn't here?" Of course the perpetual slacker of the group wanted to know if there was an out to Tornado Duty. Worse still, I could feel the pressure of everypony silently asking me the same thing with their eyes.
I worked to keep my tone nice, calm, and rational. "Yes, everypony still has to show up tomorrow. No exceptions."
"So does Rainbow get fined if she doesn't show up?" Bluebreeze pressed with a smug smile. No doubt he was enjoying having Rainbow get some of the same medicine he had gotten to all but drag him to do Tornado Duty.
"That's Rainbow's problem," Ditzy replied evenly. "Concentrate on getting yourself here tomorrow and be ready to work." It wasn't hard to see the mailpony in her when she said that. You had to have a pretty strong work ethic to stick with that job day after day from what I had heard.
There was a general grumble of acknowledgement from the gathered ponies, and they went about dispersing into small groups. I stood there for a couple of minutes to make sure nopony had a question for me before making my way to the anemometer. I was terribly tempted to just go home and curl up with a good book after a day like this, though my conscience was nagging me to try and do something more to fix what had derailed Tornado Day preparations. Either way, I wanted to get all my things packed up and take Spike back to the library.
Thankfully, Spike was already in the middle of packing everything when I got to him. It seemed that he had gotten the whole process down over the last few days as he reviewed my packing checklist. I was about to join him when I heard Ditzy speak up from behind me. "Can I help with anything?" Her wings fidgeting, she held herself like a coiled spring. I got the sense that she just wanted to do something with her hooves after everything that had happened.
"You don't need to, really," I said, not wanting her to feel obligated to help. "We carried everything here to start with, after all."
"Yeah, I got it," Spike said proudly, pointing a thumb at himself.
"I know, but I don't mind helping." Ditzy rubbed her head. "Honestly, I'd just like to think about something other than this mess of a day."
"Now that I can empathize with," I said. "Once I get my mind on a problem, it can be really hard for me to not think about it until I solve it." In fact, that was exactly what my brain was in overdrive trying to do. I had one hay of a friendship problem on my hooves, and I didn't see an easy solution to it. Maybe I could ask for some of my other friends to help? They might have a solution to the problem I wasn't seeing. "Anyways, sure, you can help if you really want to."
"Thanks." Ditzy looked about the ground to see what she could help with.
I was in the process of folding up the quilt we had brought when Ditzy cleared her throat to get my attention. “Um, Twilight?” When I turned to face her, I saw that she and Spike were each holding pieces of the some kind of machine, with the rest of it lying between them. Spike was staring in disbelief at the pieces in his claws. It took me a few seconds to register that the anemometer, something I had put all that work into putting together, was now in a dozen pieces. “What happened?”
Ditzy’s ears wilted. “Um ... sorry. I was just helping Spike pick this up and... Something happened. I can pay for this.” She looked at the two pieces she was holding. “Um, this isn’t too expensive, I hope?”
“Don’t worry about it.” Spike sighed and carefully took the parts away from Ditzy. No doubt to keep the parts from suddenly bursting into fire. Normally I wouldn’t be concerned about that when the anemometer didn’t have any combustible components, but Ditzy’s record of accidental arson spoke for itself. “We can probably fix it.” He gave the pieces of the anemometer a frown. “Somehow.”
“It’s going to be my project for the night.” I levitated a couple of the parts to see what exactly had broken, and give myself an idea of what I was going to need to do when I got back home. As if I didn’t have enough to deal with as it was. We needed the anemometer for Tornado Day preparations, so fixing it was going to be a priority. “How did you break that? I just turned my back for a second.”
“Sorry.” She rubbed the back of her mane, sounding like this was a common, and embarrassing, conversation for her. “That sort of thing happens sometimes. Frequently.”
“I'll take care of it.” I considered the broken parts and how well my day had been going thus far. “I hope.” I was pretty confident that I could repair the device. Magic would certainly speed up the process, but it would take some time and effort to pull off. Whether I would have it back together again by tomorrow was a bit up in the air until I got to work.
Spike climbed onto my back with the broken pieces he had gathered. “So, we gonna head home now?”
“It would probably be a good idea,” I said, making sure everything had been gathered.
“Would you like to come over to my place for a bit?” Ditzy shuffled in place. “I owe you a muffin or two for...” She motioned at the broken anemometer. “That.”
I looked to Spike. “How does that sound to you?”
“There's food, right?” Spike asked.
Ditzy gave us one of her bubbly smiles. “Well, muffins are food last time I checked...”
“I'm in.” Little surprise, Spike wasn’t about to turn down some free food.
"Follow me, then!" She waved for us to come with her. "I have a few batches to spare with the girls away in Canterlot." Her ears wilted upon the mention of her daughters.
"Everything okay?" I asked instinctively.
"Oh, yes. Sorry, it's been awhile since I've had the house to myself." Her face screwed up in thought. "Probably only the second or third time since Dinky was born, now that I think about it. They're visiting my family in Canterlot while we have Tornado duty—after a full day of flying, I'd be too tired to do more than hug them and go to bed. Besides, my parents love to have them over now and again."
"That makes sense," I said, following her as we walked to her home. "I guess that means Tornado Day is pretty hard on ponies like you then?"
Ditzy nodded. "The entire idea is to fly hard, fast, and long enough to form a tornado that carries water from here to Cloudsdale. You could probably educate me about the physics behind that—all I can tell you is that it's exhausting work."
"Sorry about that, then," I said. "This project means a lot to Rainbow." Saying my friend's name caused me to internally wince. Here I had been hoping Tornado Day would be a simple project. Now it had become yet another big source of drama that I really didn't need.
Ditzy waved a hoof dismissively. "Rainbow's not a pony to do things by halves, and we know what we're getting into, more or less. It's why we're training, so we can actually do it. It is a civic duty, after all. Think of it like a draft, but shorter-term. The farmers need water for their crops, after all."
"True enough." It was a big part of the reason why ponies put up with things like Tornado Duty and Winter Wrap Up. The weather needed to keep happening if we were going to maintain a healthy ecology.
"How ... well..." Ditzy seemed to struggle with herself before speaking again. "I guess I shouldn't beat around the bush. How are you, after what happened today?"
I sighed, the memories of the argument more than fresh enough to sting. "I'm not sure it’s really sunk in. I've never seen Rainbow act like that before. She's been mad, sure, but nothing like that. She just blew up—out of nowhere. She never treats her friends like that."
Ditzy grunted and nodded. "I haven't either since I moved to town. We'll be having a long, long talk when I see her next, believe me," she said with all the conviction of a mother who had just seen her child badly misbehave. "That was more than just unfair."
"It was weird," Spike mused. "Kinda scary, too."
"I'm tempted to give her a piece of my mind too," I agreed. "What was she thinking?"
"I have no idea." Ditzy nodded, determination on her face.
I shook my head. “Maybe the stress is getting to her?”
“Maybe.” Ditzy bit her lip. “It's ... maybe. I just don't know. But I'll find out by the time I'm done with her." From her tone, I believed her. It reminded me of when my mom put her mind to getting something done, and it usually did when it was all said and done. Considering Ditzy and Cloud were paramours now and the fact she was lifelong friends with Rainbow, it wasn't hard to figure out why she had a few words to give to Rainbow.
"I think I should have a talk with her too," I said. At the very least I wanted a proper explanation for why she fired Cloud. Not to mention give Cloud her job back.
"If you don't mind, could I talk to her first?" Ditzy asked.
"I suppose." I bit my lip I considered what would be the most efficient way to handle this problem. "I'm going to have a tougher time finding her anyways. Especially if she doesn't want to be found."
"Well, having wings helps." She gave me a weak smile and spread out her wings. "Though if you managed to get Dinky on hoof, you have a pretty good chance of luring her in."
“She does seem to really like Dinky.” I couldn't remember how many stories Rainbow had told me about her goddaughter, and she had more than one photograph of herself hugging Dinky in her home.
“Or just ask her fan club,” Spike offered.
I grinned at the memory of Rainbow’s personal fanclub. “True.”
“Anyways.” Ditzy stepped onto the porch to her house. “It isn’t something that can’t wait until after we’ve had a muffin break first.”
"That is true,” I said as I followed her inside. Taking a break from all the stress sounded like a good idea. Going in circles about what to do next was going to drive me crazy. Eating some muffins certainly couldn’t hurt, and getting some food in my belly might help me think more efficiently.
Spike glanced around as we entered the kitchen. “So what kind of muffins do you have?”
“Oh, quite a lot.” Ditzy went to the icebox and pulled out a couple of plates of muffins. “Banana-nut is Dinky's favorite, but I have poppy seed, blueberry, almond, and I think a few with rhubarb.”
“Any with gems?” Spike asked hopefully, licking his lips.
Ditzy chuckled. “Sorry. We’ve got a little variety, but nothing like that. The girls don’t exactly ask for ground-up gems in their muffins.”
“Aww,” he pouted.
I nuzzled my assistant. “We can make some tomorrow if you like, Spike.”
That brought a smile to his face. “Okay!”
“But I know Ditzy's muffins are really good too,” I said. “About the best muffins I’ve ever had.”
Ditzy chuckled as she brought out some plates and laid up napkins. “You're sweet. And you can call me Derpy if you want; everypony does.” She smiled at Spike. “I'll tell you what—bring some gems by tomorrow and I'll see what I can make out of them.”
Spike smiled all the wider. “Thanks, Derpy!”
“Any time.” Ditzy took a moment to wash her hooves. “Anything else you'd like? Tea, coffee, cider?”
"Some tea would be nice," I said. "And thank you. You really didn't have to give us lunch like this."
Spike raised a claw to the side of his mouth and leaned toward me to whisper conspiratorially. "Quiet, Twilight. She's giving us food."
Ditzy snickered, no doubt hearing everything Spike had said. "It's no trouble at all." She slid the plates of muffins closer to Spike and then went about fixing a kettle of tea.
"Still, I have to thank you anyways." I nudged Spike to thank her too.
"Yeah, thanks, Derpy!" Spike was quick to say at my prompting and then went about picking up some muffins to eat.
"You're welcome!" She said with a big smile. "Have as much as you like, I have a lot more in the icebox. I'm used to feeding three around here."
"Okay!" Spike bit into one of the muffins he had in his claws with gusto.
"So, you been doing alright?" I bit into my own muffin with significantly more reservation than Spike had. He was at an age where table manners could take second priority to getting as much good food into his mouth as quickly as possible.
"Well enough," Ditzy said while watching the kettle come to a boil. "It's ... well, it's a bit odd to have the house so quiet, but I know it's only for a little bit."
"It’s normally a lot louder with the kids here?" I asked.
"Not louder per se. Just..." She paused to ponder. "Well, I'm not used to the quiet. It's hard to explain, but when the girls are home, something's always going on—homework, reading, a puzzle, baking or so forth."
"It's more active, you mean?" I guessed.
"Yes, that." She poured some tea for us. "Sorry—it's a little hard to explain."
"I think I understand well enough." Certainly my tower back in Canterlot had been a lot quieter than home had been. At least before Spike had moved in. It had suited me just fine at the time, though. It had meant that I could spend more time studying in peace. Now though...
Ditzy sat next to Spike and sipped at her tea. “On the other hoof, it's nice to have a little time to just ... well, think. ‘Me time’ I guess is what you would call it.”
“Now that I can definitely understand,” I said. “I know I need a lot of time for my studies.”
“I bet you do,” Ditzy said with a nod. “You especially, really—you know what it means to just have a day to yourself to think, or read, or even just have a nap.”
I shifted my cup around. “I guess I am pretty lucky like that.” It was almost unimaginable to me how much having a kid would change my life. I wouldn’t have nearly as much time to study, it would take time away from my friends, and there were a hundred other things to consider where the actual raising of a kid was concerned. To think, Ditzy had that change thrust upon her at such a relatively young age. Right when most ponies were going into college or starting a career, she had a foal she had to concentrate on raising, and that had shaped the entirety of her life. Maybe I would want to have a child someday, but that was a long way off.
Spike grabbed another muffin. “These really are good muffins by the way,” he said, breaking the silence before it could become awkward. He eagerly took another bite. “Delishush!”
“Spike, don’t speak with your mouth full,” I chided him.
Spike finished swallowing his food. “What? They are. I can’t help saying so.”
Ditzy smiled. “Thanks. I think Dinky made this batch, now that I think about it.”
I took a bite of my own blueberry muffin, it was of course every bit as delicious as I remembered Ditzy’s muffins to be. “Mmm, she takes after her mom then.”
“She loves them almost as much as I do,” her smile became one of maternal pride. “And I like to think she's gotten really good at it.” She picked up the last muffin on one of the plates. “Can I get you anything else? I know some ponies want more than just muffins for a snack.” She shook her head. “For some reason I can’t understand.”
Spike swallowed his latest mouthful. “Hey, I’m not complaining about the muffins.”
I finished my muffin, turned to the next thing I wanted to address. “Um, could you point me the way of the bathroom? I just need to use it real quick.” I fixed her with strained smile. It never felt normal to ask somepony else if you could use their home’s bathroom.
Ditzy pointed down one of the hallways. “Down the hall, last door to the right.”
“Thanks, I’ll be back in a bit.” I headed to the bathroom and closed the door behind me. The room was made of the same sturdy materials that most of the house was furnished with. It was clean, thankfully, and had some photos and decorations that brought a warm, homey atmosphere to the place. I took care of my business there and was in the process of cleaning up when I noticed something.
Next to the sink sat a manebrush with a few golden strands of hair within its bristles. I stared at that brush with its inviting golden threads as the gears turned in my head. It occurred to me that I may very well have the opportunity to solve the mystery that had been bothering me for so long—was my brother Dinky Doo’s father? There was a spell called the Heredity Spell that could identify when two ponies were related to one another, and I had taken the effort of learning it after my talk with Fluttershy about Dinky’s potential parentage. If one of these hairs belonged to Dinky then I could use one of my own hairs to see if there was a link or not between us. And what I had here was an opportunity to use it in secret, without any awkward questions or anything else that might clue anypony in on what I suspected.
I carefully picked out some hairs, then hesitated. I didn’t want to think poorly of Shining Armor. He was my big brother, and the idea that he could knock up some poor mare during a college party and not even know he had a daughter seemed so antithetical to him. I nearly put the hairs into the trashcan when I stopped myself. Fluttershy was right; either way, I needed to find the truth.
I plucked out a hair from my mane and then held up one of the hairs from the brush. I could only hope that it belonged to Dinky. That was the issue with this opportunity, considering how similar Dinky’s mane was to Ditzy’s, I couldn’t be completely sure which hairs belong to her. It would just have been too awkward for me to ask Ditzy who used the manebrush considering the situation, and would defeat the point of secretly trying to find the truth. Shame I wasn’t going to get anywhere by not trying.
Taking a moment to breathe in and out and steadying my nerves, I cast the Heredity Spell, trying to find a link between my hair and the hair from the manebrush. Each of the hairs took on a magenta glow and I felt a tug of recognition between them.
A surprised scream nearly escaped my lips before I covered my mouth. There was a DNA match between the hairs. The link hadn’t been as strong as it would have been between a parent and a child or that of siblings, but it had been strong enough to be that of an aunt and a niece.
I fell to my rump. I was an aunt. My brother was a father. My parents were grandparents. A whole new branch of the family had been created in my head with a single spell. My brother had sired a child. He didn’t know, right? He couldn’t have. He would have done something if he knew he was a father. It was only reasonable he would have told me about something as important as being a father.
Just like how Dad would have told me about having affairs and me having a half-sister with another mare...
Or how Mom had given away my sister for adoption...
I lay down on the floor, the room spinning way too fast to be standing. It was only natural to want to lie down when that happened. Everything was fine, which was why I was stroking my tail for comfort. Nothing wrong with wanting to feel comfortable after finding out you had been an aunt for years and hadn’t known about it. And the cool tiles of a bathroom floor were as good for that as anything else.
There was a series of knocks on the bathroom door. “Hey? Twi?” Spike said through the door. “You've been in there for, like, half an hour. You okay?”
“I'm fine!” I assured him, continuing to stroke my tail. “Perfectly fine! I've only been in here for a few minutes.” I would know if it had been in the bathroom for something like half an hour. I was very good at keeping track of time. It couldn't have taken more than a minute to walk to the bathroom, then about five for me to take care of my original business. Then a few minutes’ deliberation on what to do with the hairs on the manebrush, and then a few more minutes thinking about something that should have been impossible. That meant I had only been in the bathroom for about twenty minutes--twenty-five tops. That left at least five minutes before anypony needed to be concerned. Obviously Spike was being overly worried about me.
"If you say so," Spike said, not sounding convinced despite the fact I had ironclad logic about my wellbeing.
"J-just go and eat a couple more muffins, okay." I wasn't quite ready to get off the floor yet due to the world not making perfect logical sense anymore. One needed a consistent base of knowledge in order to do things like standing and walking around.
"Waiiit, I know what's going on." I suppressed a squeak as I heard Spike musing behind the door. Had he guessed one of the reasons I had been so upset recently? I didn't think I had given him any clues, but Spike could pretty observant. I had taught him to be. "Don't tell me you're reorganizing their bathroom. You know ponies don't like it when you reorganize their homes without permission."
My muscles untensed. "Um, how did you know?" I asked, going along with a lie that was better than telling the truth. I really didn't want to have to explain this to Ditzy right now. It was all just too much for me.
"You say that like you've never done it before." I heard him sigh. "I'll go find something to read. But you're the one that is going to have to explain to Derpy why her bathroom had been alphabetized."
"Fine, fine," I grumbled. "I'll be out in a few minutes.” Really, it wasn't like I was in such a panic that I couldn't get up and leave if I really wanted to. I just had very good reasons not to immediately move.
"Yeah, okay," Spike said. "Just don't be forever. I wanna finish the comic I started last night." The sounds of his footsteps walking away worked their way through the door.
Right, everything was fine. I needed to get off the floor in about five minutes or everything would start becoming weird, which would mean something was seriously wrong with me. Obviously it was the world that was wrong and crazy here. Not that the world was going to acknowledge that.
I took a long breath and stood up. Well, the facts were what they were. What I needed to do was figure out exactly what I was going to do now that I knew I was an aunt. Thinking it over, it struck me as best to talk to Shining about this. I could take the next train out of Ponyville and be in Canterlot in a matter of hours. I was in the middle of thinking about the logistics of that plan when I hit a snag; Rainbow still needed me to help with Tornado Day preparations.
Tornado Day was hanging by a thread at the moment. Me quitting or just not showing up could be seen as a sign by others that Tornado Day just wasn't going to happen. It wasn't exactly helped by the fact that I had no idea who, if anypony, from the weather team's management was even going to show up tomorrow. Whoever did show up was going to need my help. There was also the fact that I wasn’t sure if Shining was even in Canterlot at the moment. As Captain of the Royal Guard, his job tended to take him all over Equestria and beyond on business.
No, I needed to do something, like sending a letter telling him I needed to talk to him, or ... something. I still wasn’t sure. My thoughts were branching out in too many directions. I needed time to think and determine the correct course of action, and inside of Ditzy’s bathroom probably wasn’t the best place for that.
I splashed some water onto my face and then dried it off, hoping the cold water would help reinvigorate my thought process. I didn’t want the first thing I did after walking out of the bathroom to be me blurting out that I knew who Dinky’s father was to Ditzy. Specifically, not right in front of Spike. Ugh, I was going to have to explain this to Spike at some point, in addition to Shining, and probably our parents, too. Then that was going to branch out to our friends and other family and—
The world was starting to spin again and I had to shake my head to keep myself on track.
Right, I would excuse myself, and then head back home to write that letter. That sounded workable. At the very least I would have the walk home to think things over.
I headed back towards the kitchen, hearing Ditzy and Spike talk in hushed tones.
“...not allergic to nuts, is she?” Ditzy asked.
“Nah, she's fine.” Spike turned his head to look at me. “Though speaking of nuts...”
“Um, sorry.” I gave them a smile that I tried to make reassuring. “Things took a bit longer than expected.”
“On the bright side, everything in your bathroom is alphabetized now,” Spike said sarcastically.
“It's okay.” Ditzy’s head tilted as she gave me a concerned look. “Are you sure you're feeling okay? You look a little out of it.”
“Yes, I'm perfectly fine,” I was quick to say, maybe too quick. “Nothing earth-shattering has happened at all.”
Spike crossed his arms as he frowned. “You sure? 'Cause you don't look fine. You’re kinda a bit pale.”
“You look like you've seen a ghost,” Ditzy agreed. “I heard there was something going around in Cloudsdale. It might have gotten to Ponyville by now.” Her head dipped and she spoke more softly. “Though if it was one of the muffins that made you sick, please tell me. I’ll just throw them out and watch Dinky a little more carefully next time she makes another batch.”
“Nonono!” I waved a hoof in negative. “I’m just... I think I need to go home and lie down for a bit. It’s been a long day.”
“You can crash on the couch or in one of the girls’ beds if you want.” Ditzy motioned at the living room couch. I got the feeling that her maternal instincts were kicking in, especially without her daughters around to nurture. “It wouldn’t be a problem, trust me.”
I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It’s just ... have a lot on my mind right now.”
Ditzy frowned. “No, it's okay. I should probably go check on Rainbow and Cloud before too much longer anyways. I'll pack some muffins for you to take home if you give me a few secs.”
“Oh, you really don't have to,” I said.
“I'll take them!” Spike was quick to say, not losing the opportunity for free muffins.
Ditzy chuckled and loaded a paper bag with muffins. “Believe me, I have plenty to spare.”
Spike happily took the bag. “Thanks, Derpy!”
“Any time.” Ditzy trotted to the front door and opened it. “Feel better soon, okay?”
“I'll try, promise.” I picked up our things, letting Spike walk beside me.
Ditzy closed the door after we all exited and took flight to look for Rainbow and Cloud. Best of luck to her there. Maybe after some time to cool off she could talk some sense into Rainbow, or failing at that, give Cloud some support she probably needed right now.
I had other things to think about at the moment. A lot of things. Thus I started towards the Golden Oaks Library with Spike in tow. When we got home, Spike rested a hand on my shoulder. “Twi? Need me to do anything?”
It took me a second to pull myself out of my internal thoughts and recognize the question. “N-no, no, you're fine, Spike.”
“Okay.” He wrung his claws. “Um ... I guess I'll just ... be quiet then.”
I sighed and hugged him. “You’re fine, okay?”
Spike hugged me back. “Are you?”
It took me a couple of seconds to respond. “I need some time to think. Something came up that’s bugging me.”
He broke the hug so that he could look me in the face. “You know you can talk to me about stuff, right?”
“Of course,” I said without hesitation. “But ... sometimes you have something come up that you feel you need to talk about with somepony before you talk about it with everypony else. There are issues so important that you can’t just go around gabbing about it with everypony. Am I making any sense here?”
Spike stared at me before making a reserved nod. “Yeah, kinda.”
I nuzzled him. “I’ll explain everything when the time is right. But right now, I’m going to write a letter.”
“Aren’t you going to lie down for a while, like you told Derpy?” Spike asked.
I shook my head. “First I need to write my letter.” Whatever I was going to write in it. “Can I have some peace and quiet?”
“Sure, if that’s what you really want.” Spike glanced about the library, not looking at anything specific. “I guess, I’ll stay down here then.”
“Thank, Spike.” I gave him another quick nuzzle. “And thanks for being here for me. It means a lot, really.”
That brought a smile to his face. “Sure thing! You know you can count on me.”
And that I really did know. I had the best assistant in the world, and an even better friend.
This letter was proving impossible.
The trashcan next to my desk was nearly buried by crumpled up sheets of paper. Dozens of failures sitting there on the floor, mocking me. I rubbed at my eyes and tossed another letter I was unhappy with onto the pile. I had been at this for what felt like an eternity. How in the world do you write a letter for a subject like telling your brother that he had a daughter he didn’t even know about? I tried writing letters logically telling him everything I knew about the situation, but in the end it hadn’t seemed right to tell him he was a father in a letter. That struck me as something you should hear in person.
Then I had tried letters asking him to come to Ponyville as soon as possible—shame those letters made me worry that I was going to panic my sometimes overly protective brother and send him running to Ponyville. Next I had tried more letters asking him when would be a good time to visit him and talk about something important. None of them felt natural for what I wanted to talk to him about. None of it felt right. I had even started a few letters to my parents, trying to take a different approach to the problem, but tossed them to the side too.
I planted my face onto my desk and groaned.
“Hello, Twilight,” somepony suddenly said from behind me.
“Aaah!” I jerked so quickly to my hooves that I nearly fell on my face. My rear legs had fallen asleep during my marathon-letter-writing-failure epic and were not nearly ready for the sudden activity. I fell against my desk, knocking half of the items off its surface.
“Oh, I'm sorry!” Fluttershy helped brace me while I caught my bearings. “I didn’t mean to startle you!”
“F-Fluttershy!” I breathed to try and get my heartrate under control. I had been so absorbed in my writing that I hadn’t even heard her coming up behind me. “I-I wasn't expecting you.” Or anypony for that matter. “Not after, well, what happened earlier today.”
Fluttershy turned her gaze away from mine. “Yeah, um, could we just not talk about that?”
“I was worried about you,” I said without thinking.
“I’m sorry,” Fluttershy, sounding ashamed. “It’s just... everypony started laughing and... I don’t want to talk about it. Could we not, please?”
“Okay.” It seemed that Fluttershy’s performance with the anemometer was still bothering her. Mix a pony like Fluttershy, who was already self-conscious about her flying, and a public scenario where all eyes are on her, and it probably wasn’t a recipe for success. My own nerves were still feeling shot, so I didn’t particularly want to push her at this moment. I was more curious what had brought her to the library.
Fluttershy’s eyes glanced over me as she helped hold me in place. “Is ... is everything alright?”
“Y-yes, fine, everything is fine.” I cleared my throat. “Why wouldn't it be?” The overflowing pile of paper made me feel very conscious about how this must look. I could get rid of the mess a number of ways, but that would have made me look all the more guilty.
“You don't look fine.”
I groaned and rubbed my face. “It's been a long day.”
Fluttershy gently lowered me back to my seat by the desk. “Would you like to talk about it?”
“No, yes, maybe?” Now it was my turn to fail to meet her gaze. “Because it... I don't know.”
Fluttershy gave me one of those sweet smiles of hers that always made me feel better. “Is there anything I can do to help?”
My first instinct was to say no, I mean how could anypony really help me with something like this? And not like it would be right to dump something this big on them. But then I realized that I had already spoken to Fluttershy about Dinky’s parentage. If I couldn’t talk about it with her, then who could I talk to it about? Fluttershy was always a kind ear, she was here, and it felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t do something constructive.
“You know that one thing we talked about dealing with Dinky?” I asked, easing into the subject.
“Yes?” Fluttershy carefully hedged.
I stared down at the floor. “M-my brother is D-Dinky's father.”
She put her hooves over her mouth. “Oh ... oh my goodness.”
“Yeah.” My ears fell flat against my head. “I-I've been trying to write a letter to him, but ... how do you explain something like this?!”
“I ... I don't know,” Fluttershy admitted, sounding as beaten as I felt.
I covered my face with my hooves. “Neither do I.”
“I'm sorry, this isn't a good time for you.” She moved towards the stairs. “I should ... go. This isn’t a good time.”
I raised a hoof for her to stop. “No! Wait! Why did you come?” She must have had a reason for wanting to see me. It would kill me to turn a friend away right now. Besides, whatever problems she must be going through had to be easier than what I was currently dealing with.
“I ... there was something I was hoping you could help me with, but...” Fluttershy trailed off, losing her confidence.
“Go ahead, I’m listening,” I said, trying to encourage her along. Now I was in familiar territory.
After swallowing nervously, she finally said, “I was hoping you wouldn't mind checking up on Cloud.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Cloud?” Fluttershy asking me to check up on Cloud wasn’t something I had expected. Considering whatever history the two of them had. Ditzy or Blossomforth I could see asking me to make sure Cloud was alright at a time like this, but not Fluttershy.
“Yes,” she said, as though getting every word out was a struggle in of itself. “It's ... Rainbow's hurt, and...”
“Wait, Rainbow's hurt?!” I stood back up.
Fluttershy nodded, a nervous frown creasing her face. “Yes, she ... um ... her eye... It's ... an old injury that crops up.”
“I didn't know about that.” Not that Rainbow was the type to talk about any kind of injury she had suffered. Not unless it was the type she could brag about how she had shaken it off. “We should go see her.”
“Um ... I don't think that would be ... I...” She gritted her teeth and blurted out. “It's my fault! She came to see me after I ran away, and then she said she fired Cloud, and that made me really angry.” She sniffled. “We g-got into an argument, and... Then she flew off despite being hurt, and it's ... it's ... I don't want to talk about it.” Her shoulders sagged and her ears wilted. “She’s at the hospital.”
“What happened?” I asked.
Fluttershy wrung her hooves. “Please, I don’t want to talk about it. Could we not?”
“We should go see Rainbow,” I insisted. “She needs her friends right now.”
“I-I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Fluttershy’s gaze stared at the floor. “She’s r-really mad right now. I don’t think she wants to talk to either of us right now. Not after...” She hugged herself. “Just ... could you please check on Cloud for me? Please? She needs somepony right now. M-maybe you can t-try and talk to Rainbow tomorrow once she’s had some time to cool down.”
I had to take some time to think this one over. Rainbow was hurt, and at the hospital. My first instinct was to go to her. The problem with that plan was that if she had suffered some sort of eye injury then the hospital staff were probably going to busy with her for quite a while. That would make it difficult for me to see her for some time. Then there was the fact that I probably wasn’t one of Rainbow’s favorite ponies right now. Not after I had threatened to quit helping her after she fired Cloud. If she got into a heated argument with Fluttershy of all ponies, then her temper must really have been up.
I wanted to press Fluttershy to find out what happened, but she looked like she was about to flee at any moment. Pushing her too hard was probably going to make her run away. It added to my frustration, but I didn’t know what I could do with Fluttershy to find out what I wanted to know. Maybe I could at least see Rainbow tomorrow after Tornado Day preparations? It seemed worth a shot.
Starting to get a grip with the information I had been given, I asked, “So why did you want me to check up on Cloud. I mean, you’re about one of the last ponies I would expect to ask this of me.” At least with Cloud I might be able to do some good, so might as well concentrate on that.
“I, well, you see...” Fluttershy’s cheeks took on a crimson hue and the rest of her words became an unintelligible mumble.
“What's the matter?” I asked. “You know you can talk to me about anything. Is it because of how Cloud is? Trust me, I can understand that.”
She shook her head. “No, it’s ... Cloud's ... we were very close in Flight camp.”
I tilted my head, trying to figure out what she was talking about. “Like friends? You two? That’s something I never saw.”
“It's...” Fluttershy’s blushing intensified to something like the shade of a tomato and her words once again became an unintelligible mumble.
I couldn’t remember the last time I had seen Fluttershy this flustered. It didn’t seem right that she would be like this only from being friends with Cloud Kicker years ago. No, it would have to be something else. Something like...
And that’s when several pieces of the puzzle fell in place. “Wait.” I blinked a few times as several clues came together and I started to see the picture. “Were you and Cloud—?”
Fluttershy interrupted me before I could finish. “Ihavetogo!” She turned and ran for the stairs.
"No, wait!" I held up a hoof. "Don't go!" Fluttershy halted at the top of the stairs, her every moment a nervous twitch. "Please, we can talk about this. You know I just want to help."
"I've already said too much." She trembled like a leaf as she spoke, her eyes wide. "I'm sorry. Please don't hate me or be mad but I really, really, really have to go!"
"Why are you so scared?" I slowly and carefully approached her. "Does this involve Cloud? Or what happened today? Please, I can't help you if I don't know what the problem is."
"Y-yes," she said with great reluctance. "It's ... It's about things that happened back in Flight Camp. Mistakes I made."
I gently placed a hoof on her shoulder. "You want to talk about what happened?"
She flinched from my touch, making me feel like I had stuck her with a hot poker. "I shouldn't have said anything." Tears welled up in her eyes. "You can't help unless you change the past."
I looked down at the floor. "I can't do that." I couldn't use time magic to keep myself from worrying, much less anything more important.
"Then ... I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do." She backed down a few steps. "Please, I'm begging you, just go see Cloud and make sure she's alright. Blossomforth and Derpy were with her, but it ... it didn’t go well and I really want some pony with Cloud right now to make sure she's alright. And you know her, and you're really nice and..."
"Okay, okay." I rose my hooves to reassure her and try and make sure she didn't do something like trip and fall down the stairs. There were so many questions I wanted to ask, but all it seemed they would do was work Fluttershy into more of a panic, and without giving me any useful information. “I’ll go see Cloud soon, promise.”
"Thank you, Twilight. Just .. it means a lot to me." She wrapped me in a hug, and I could feel her trembling as her body touched mine. "Thank you. This means so much to me." I hugged her back. Her silk coat and mane felt nice. It made me yearn for what could have been. When she broke the hug, the absence of her touch made me desire it all the more. “I really need to go, sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said, my heart not really into the goodbye. “Will you be coming to Tornado Duty tomorrow? I know it would mean a lot to Rainbow Dash.”
“Oh...” Her face turned away from mine again. “I ... I guess I could try. Maybe. A little.”
In other words, it wasn’t likely.
“Please try, at least.” I sighed. “I guess I better let you leave then.”
“Yes, I really need to go.” She started to turn to go down the stairs but stopped herself. “Um, thank you for going to see Cloud, it really means a lot to me.”
“Of course. What type of friend would I be if I wasn’t willing to help you out?”
After Fluttershy left, I took a little bit of time to clean up, apply some fresh makeup, and get a little bit of food and plenty of caffeine into me. That certainly helped to make me feel normal. I didn’t need to be going to Cloud Kicker’s house looking like a mess.
It was late evening when I arrived at her home and knocked at her door. Cloud opened the door, a cider bottle in her hoof. It seemed that Cloud had taken the response many ponies took to being fired, and had taken to drinking something with a bit of bite to it.
She blinked in surprise when she saw me. “Er ... hey.”
I gave her the best smile I could put on considering the situation. “Hi, Cloud. Um, I was kinda wanting to check up on you after...” I made a vague motion with my hoof. It suddenly didn’t seem like the smartest idea to bring up her being fired right out the gate. “Everything, I guess.”
Cloud sighed and nodded. “Come on in, I guess.” She kicked the door the rest of the way open for me. “Want a cider?”
“Oh, you really don't have to.” I walked inside and took a glance around the living room. The place didn’t look like a mess, and there weren’t a half dozen empty cider bottles lying around, so Cloud hadn’t fallen completely apart over the last few hours at least.
“Drinking with friends means I'm fun and sociable. Drinking alone is just sad and depressing.” She trotted to the kitchen and I heard her rustling around in the fridge.
“I guess one wouldn't be a problem.” I was here to help make Cloud feel better, after all. “It has been one of those days.”
Cloud made a humorless chuckle. “No kidding.” She walked back over to me and offered a cider. I took it from her and the two of us sat down on her living room couch.
I pulled the cap off the bottle. “I'm not sure we really want to compare days at this juncture.”
Cloud knocked back her cider for one healthy swig. “I got fired, my best friend put herself in the hospital because she's never forgiven herself for something that happened when we were kids, and my other best friend got into a fight with my fillyfriend in the middle of said hospital.”
It took me a few moments to respond to that full broadside of awfulness. “Okay, that is pretty bad all around. But what happened with Rainbow? Fluttershy mentioned that she got hurt somehow, but I couldn’t get any details out of her.”
Cloud’s ears drooped. “Dash came by sometime after I came home. She tried to give me a half-flanked apology for firing me. I wasn’t having it, and that ticked her off. So the two of us got into a fight.” She fiddled with her bottle. “It aggravated an old eye injury of hers, and we had to rush her to the hospital to get treated.” Tipping back the bottle, she took a swig of it. “Could we not talk about it? It’s still sore.”
I nodded. The fact that Rainbow might have aggravated an injury I hadn’t even been aware of worried me. When had she gotten injured? I badly wanted to see her and give her some kind of comfort if I could. “I think I can understand that. Do you, um, think Rainbow would want to see me, first? I can come back a bit later to make sure she’s alright.”
Cloud shrugged. “Knowing her, I’d recommend giving her a bit more time to cool off. She was really worked up, and if you’re one of the ponies she’s mad about, it’d be best to back off for a bit to let her get her head together.”
“I guess you’re right.” I couldn’t find any major faults with her logic. I just wanted to do something to make everything better. Though that was why I was here with Cloud to start with, now wasn’t it?
Seeing that Cloud had told me about everything that had gone wrong with her day, I lept into a torrent of things that went wrong during my day. “For myself, I got into a fight with one of my best friends over said firing, had to pick up the pieces of all the arguments almost by myself without any management when I'm just a volunteer, got the anemometer broken... somehow when Derpy touched it, and then I found out my brother has a daughter he never knew about.”
Cloud blinked in shock. “Er ... come again?”
My jaw dropped when I realized what I had just blurted out without thinking. I groaned and applied my hoof to my face. This conversation was starting out just great. “Um, oops? It really has been a long day. Mind not mentioning that to anypony? Please?”
“Right,” Cloud seemed more than happy to say. She ran her hoof across her lips. “My lips are sealed.”
“Thanks. I think I got a bit caught up there.” I took a long swig of cider and then immediately regretted it when the burning sensation in my throat caused me to start coughing.
“Little harder than you're used to?” she asked.
I cleared my throat. “Considering I normally don't drink anything harder than watered down wine?”
“Well, now's the time for it.” Cloud let out a long groan and leaned back against the couch, staring up at the ceiling. “I just wanna drink a little, then go find some reasonably attractive pony and screw their brains out.”
I couldn’t help but grin and shake my head in amusement. “A life of simple pleasures, egh?”
She shrugged. “It has its virtues.”
“I guess I can see that,” I said. “I know I want to curl up with a good book right about now.” I sighed. “Yeah, a nice good book, something nice to read, preferably next to a nice fire and a hot quilt.”
“That's not the worst idea I've ever heard.” Cloud grinned. “But I think I'll take the mindless sex anyway.”
I snorted. “And I'll take my books, if it’s all the same. Books have never done me wrong. Except for the odd really bad book, anyways. I've read a few stinkers over the years, now that I think about it.”
“Kind of inevitable when you read all the time.” She took a swig of her drink. “I know I've had some bad bed partners.”
“If you pick a large enough sampling...” I shrugged and sipped more carefully.
“So ... what's your bad day stress relief book?” Cloud asked to make conversation.
I rubbed my chin. “Hm, the Daring Doo books are always a good pick. They're always fun, even if I have read them about a hundred times now.” It probably said something when I have had to replace most of my Daring Doo books a couple of times now. Though as a kid I had been pretty distraught over my parents insisting that it was time to get a replacement book, even if the book’s pages were falling out and the cover was all but gone.
“Oh yes, I always liked them.” Cloud let out a hearty chuckle. “And if you ask Rainbow, anypony who doesn’t is just wrong.”
I laughed too. “Exactly.” The two of us clinked our bottles together.
We sat there in silence, just enjoying one another's company and sipping at our drinks. It was one of those nice and cozy moments that could only happen naturally.
“Thanks for coming over.” Cloud smiled appreciatively. “It means a lot to me. Really.”
“Not a problem,” I reassured her. “I wanted to make sure you were okay. Especially after Fluttershy asked me to.”
She blinked and tilted her head. “Fluttershy asked you to?”
I nodded slowly. “Yeah, though she was really nervous about it. Like she was about to jump out of her own skin just asking me to see you. It was weird to say the least. The only other time I can think of when she was that nervous was when we were about to face a dragon.”
Cloud stared at me wordlessly. I could tell the wheels in her head were moving, but not what she was thinking about. “Huh.”
I prodded her a bit more, wanting to figure out what was going on between her and Fluttershy. “So, you two were...” I searched for the right word, considering how sensitive the topic was. “Friends, once?”
Cloud spoke with barely more than a whisper. "Yeah. A long time ago."
"Is that why you two are so weird around each other?" A realization stuck me. "I mean, you haven't struck me as the type to keep things ... casual we'll say."
That could explain a lot. Cloud didn't have very many friends that I had seen that she hadn't had carnal relations with, and she had certainly put some moves on me in the past. Even her casual interactions tended to have a sexual undertone to them. But that could easily lead to problems with very shy ponies like Fluttershy. Considering we were probably talking about a younger and less experienced Cloud here, I could easily see a scenario where Cloud might have pushed Fluttershy too hard with her teasings or with more carnal advances. The types of things that could have led to major instances of miscommunication and incidents that could cause the end of a friendship. This would also help explain Rainbow's recent behavior. She had always been very protective of Fluttershy, and if Cloud had done something that really upset Fluttershy...
Before I could go any further down that train of thought, Cloud stood up from the couch and made her way towards the kitchen. "I'm not nearly drunk enough to talk about what happened with me and Eepy."
"Sorry, sorry!" Now I felt like a heel for bringing up the topic. Of course it would be a sore topic with Cloud if she had done something to gravely upset Fluttershy. Especially if it had been enough to end her friendship with Fluttershy. I know it would devastate me if I did something like that with any of my friends. "I didn't mean to make things worse. Promise.”
Cloud opened the fridge. "I know." She pulled another cider out of the fridge. "But ... could we talk about something that isn't Eepy?"
"Yes, of course," I quickly agreed. "So, um, what would you like to talk about?"
Cloud sat back down on the couch and shrugged. "I dunno."
I let out an annoyed huff. "Well, isn't this attempt to make you feel better just working brilliantly?"
The smile returns to Cloud's face and she chuckled. "Hey, I appreciate the effort. Just having you show up means something. The sincerity means a lot. It's cute even."
That reassurance made me feel a little better about coming here. "I've done that much right, at least. Showed up as a warm body."
"Yeah." She opened and took a drink of her new cider. "Now I guess it's time for me to get on finding the attractive pony for mindless casual sex."
I snorted, feeling like teasing with Cloud a little bit. "What, I'm not attractive enough to even be considered for mindless casual sex?"
"Nah," she said in an equally teasing tone. "You're way too special for me to just turn on my charms and have a good bang with. At the very least, I would need to give you a nice date and a good time before that. Plus, I promised not to take things too far with you. So a casual stress relief bang is out of the question."
“Thanks for that.” I finished off my cider. “Not that you would convince me to sleep with you anyways.”
A big grin worked its way onto Cloud’s face at the challenge. “Oh, I think I could manage it if I really wanted to. My charms are absolutely irresistible.”
“So you keep bragging about.” I gave her a teasing poke to the chest. “Not that I'm sure I see this oh-so high and mighty irresistible charm.”
“Oh, I haven't used it on you yet.” Cloud buffed her hoof on her chest.
A sense of curiosity of the forbidden came over me. “Dare I ask you to try?”
“Only if you're prepared for the consequences.”
“Would it at least make you feel better? That is why I am here, after all.” I shrugged. “What's the harm in it?”
Cloud rubbed her chin. “You know, some casual flirting sounds fun.” She rolled her head and shoulders, as though getting ready for some strenuous exercise. “And you asked for it.”
“So I did—” Something caught in my throat as Cloud gave me a look. Her eyes were half lidded and she scooted a bit closer to me on the couch, all while wearing a pleased smile that offered many, very explicit, promises.
“So...” She wrapped a wing around me with a gentle assurance.
I swallowed. “So?”
“So.” Cloud’s grin became all the more confident, and I couldn’t help but notice that her lips weren’t that far from my own.
My cheeks started to burn and my brain seized up as her eyes stared into mine. “Right, so.”
“So.” The tip of her hoof touched the top of my chest before slowly, sensually sliding down. “Why don't we get a little more cozy?”
“Um, sure.” A nervous smile working its way to my lips. “What did you have in mind?”
“Why do you ask a question when you already know the answer?” She nuzzled me. “You know...” Her eyes looked over my body, and I felt naked under her gaze. More naked, that is. “I can't help but notice that you're pretty attractive...”
I felt as my blushing intensified and I broke eye contact. “You've m-mentioned it once or twice before.”
“I’m mentioning it again now.”
“W-well, you're not bad looking either.” Complimenting her back seemed like the right thing to do at the moment. That’s what ponies did in a situation like this, right? “I think I might have mentioned that. Once. At some point. It’s a bit hard to remember for some reason.”
Cloud gently stroked my cheek. “Twilight Sparkle, you're a beautiful, beautiful mare. And I don't just mean physically, though you've definitely got looks. Your mind is at least as impressive as your body. Probably more. And more important than both...” She gently placed a hoof over my heart.
I squirmed in my seat as embarrassment fell over me. Nopony had ever spoken to me like this. Not with these tones and undercurrents. “You're too kind, really. I'm just like everypony else. Just trying to do the right thing where I can.”
“No. You're more than that,” she said, sincerity in her voice. “You're somepony special. Warm, loving, and giving. And I mean that.”
“Oh, some of my friends are better at those types of things than I am,” I said. “Fluttershy is much kinder and loving than I am. And Rarity more generous.”
“Maybe.” Cloud gave me a loving nuzzle. “But your friends aren't the ones I'm with right now.” She kissed me softly on the cheek. “Just you. And. Me.”
“Mhm.” I wrapped my forelegs around Cloud’s waist.
Cloud made a pleased grin. “Comfy?”
The realization about what I had just done made my voice crack when I spoke. “Maybe just a bit.”
Cloud wrapped her wings closer around us. “Now now, don't be shy.”
“It's haaard.” A giggle escaped my throat. “This is so silly. I feel silly.”
“First rule. Don't feel silly.” Cloud straightened herself and shot me an assured smile. “Feel confident.”
“Easy for you to say.” I poked her chest. “You’ve done all of this before.”
“It's easy for you to do, too,” Cloud said. “Know why?”
I shook my head. “Can't say I do.”
She brought me into a comforting hug. “Because right now I won't reject you. No matter what you do.”
“T-that's really nice of you.” It took me some time to really register what those words meant and then I relaxed. I felt reassurance knowing that I wouldn’t screw this up so badly that I would have to run away from here. This didn’t have to be anything like what happened with Fluttershy or Princess Celestia. “I mean... I don't have a clue what I'm doing right now. Which is odd for me, considering I usually go into most situations with some sort of plans. Graphs, charts, multisteps plans. It makes me a lot more confident about what I’m going to do.”
She ran a hoof through my mane. “Well, maybe you need more data first.”
“More data is always good,” I said. “What did you have in mind?”
Cloud shook her head. “It's not about what I have in mind. It's about what you want to do. With me. For instance ... would you like to kiss me?”
“I-It might be nice. To try, that is,” I said, not feeling fully confident. But you don’t learn anything without some experiments. “I guess there isn't any harm is just trying it. I've never really kissed anypony like that before.”
“Don’t worry, it’s not that hard, and I’m here to show you.” Cloud gave me a few seconds to settle myself. “So...” She leaned forward, her lips pursed.
“So, I just...” I leaned in and our lips met. It was ... pleasant. We held that pose for a while before I broke the kiss. It wasn’t any kind of revolutionary moment, but it still made me blush as I thought about it.
Cloud smiled warmly. “You're a natural.”
“Really?” I asked. “I feel like I'm stumbling through the dark here.”
“Everypony does their first time.” Her hoof ran along my cheek, making me feel a bit better with the touch. “Confidence is all about experience, after all.”
“That is true.” I nuzzled her, enjoying the physical sensation of the gesture. “Things are always the hardest the first time.”
Cloud nuzzed me back. “Mmm. So ... what do you think of the Cloud Kicker charm so far?”
I giggled, the mirth the kissed cause making it impossible for me not to. “Okay, it's pretty nice. You win.”
She grinned. “Told you.”
“Yep, and you got a kiss out of me.” I prodded her in the chest.
“A very good kiss, too.”
"I can see why ponies like doing it," I said.
"'Cause it feels great?" she asked in a way that said she already knew the answer.
I nodded. "Yeah, if a bit embarrassing." When she gave me a confused look I continued. "This kind of stuff is so... intimate I guess is the word."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Cloud said.
"Not bad, just..." I considered my words. "I'm not used to it, I think. I'm not sure how to describe it. It makes you have to put yourself out there, I guess." I shrugged and laid my head on her shoulder. "Still, I liked the kissing, and it's pretty nice being held like this."
Cloud laid her head on mine, making me feel relaxed in her embrace. "And nice to have somepony to hold."
"And what do you think about this?" I pecked her on the lips.
She pecked me back and smiled. "Oh, I'm definitely enjoying that."
"I guess I'm a bit curious about ... things." I had come this far. Why not see what else I could experience? Especially when I was kind of enjoying it.
Cloud chuckled. "Well, I can help you learn."
"I do like learning and you're more experienced at these type of things then I am." I met her lips in a slow kiss.
Cloud closed her eyes as she slowly returned that kiss. "And you're a fast learner. I could see some real advantages to all that brainpower of yours."
"You have your own positive features too." I drew a circle on her chest with a hoof. "You're physically attractive, having a nice shape and a soft feeling coat. Then you're nice but also brave and caring. And you can be pretty funny, once a pony acclimates to your type of humor."
Cloud grinned and puffed her chest out like I was inflating her with my compliments. "Go on..."
"And you've got a pretty nice butt." I let out a squeak as I realized what I had let myself say. It seemed I was really getting into this.
"Thanks." Cloud craned her head to get a look at my rear. "Yours is pretty good too."
"Really?" A new wave of embarrassment washed over me. "I never really thought about it."
"Well, I'm a certified butt inspector," she said with a grin. "So I can officially say that yours is nice."
I snorted amusedly. Cloud wasn't exactly original in the content of her humor, but it was amusing enough. "If you're an official inspector, who am I to gainsay you?”
"Exactly!" She gave me another peck on the lips.
I nuzzled her. “So, what's after kissing oh experienced master of the carnal arts.”
To my surprise, Cloud actually backed off a little bit from me. “Aren’t we getting a little too into this?”
“Huh?” I blinked a few time, not understanding what was happening. Had I done something wrong? I wasn’t doing something unattractive, as I? “What do you mean?”
Cloud withdrew her wings from the hug. “We might be moving this a bit fast. Look, we're both feeling pent up, needy and slightly drunk.”
“And that's a bad thing?” I shook my head. “I mean the last thing is obvious, though I've only had a single bottle. But the first two things?” Sure, I was a bit of a lightweight where drinking was concerned, but not that lightweight. At least I hoped so...
She sighed and broke contact with me. “Goes back to those rules of mine. I don't want either one of us waking up in the morning and thinking we made a huge mistake.”
My ears wilted. “Oh...” I scooted down the couch from her. It felt as though my heart were being clutched by something. “Sorry, I just... It's... sorry. It's my fault. I didn't mean to. I don't know what I'm thinking.” What was I thinking? I didn’t even know anymore. I thought the two of us were having a bit of fun, but now I felt like I had done something fundamentally wrong.
“You have nothing to apologize for,” Cloud tried to assure me. “I should have been a bit more careful about launching a full broadside with my charms.”
My eyes started stinging and sobs racked my chest. I was making a mess of everything. Again. Even Cloud Kicker didn’t want me. Cloud Kicker! What did it say about me when I couldn’t convince her to sleep with me? That had to be a new low for me.
“Hey, heeey.” She drew me into a hug and rocked me gently. “You're okay.”
“No I’m not.” Tears streamed down my cheeks as I sobbed into her chest. “I'm being stupid. C-can't even get you to want to—to want to...” My chest heaved. “Even you don't want to g-get involved with me. Every time I screw it up. Has to be my f-fault when you think I w-would be a m-mistake.”
“Whoa! Not true at all!” Cloud squeezed me, holding me close to her chest. “I did not say that you would be a mistake! I just meant that us doing it right now would be a mistake. You're obviously going through some issues right now, and it would be wrong of me to take advantage of that.” She stroked my mane as I whimpered and leaned against her, feeling pathetic while doing so. “You’re something really special, you know that? You’re about the last pony I would want to screw things up with. You’re too good for me to do that with.”
“O-okay,” I managed to get out through the tightness in my throat.
Cloud continued to hold me as I cried myself out. “Hey, I'm here, Twilight. I'm right here.”
I rubbed at my eyes. “Sorry, t-this isn't what you n-needed right now. I was supposed to make you feel better, and now I'm crying all over the place. Making a mess of everything.”
Cloud gently wiped away my tears. “You know, it actually does help in a weird way.”
“Huh? How?”
She chuckled and her smile returned to her face. “As long as I'm trying to help you with your problems, I'm not worrying about mine. That’s something at least.”
I found her chuckle infectious. “That is true. Nothing like somepony else's problems to take your mind off of yours.”
“Exactly.” Cloud pecked my cheek. “Feeling any better now?”
I nodded. “Yeah, a little. I think I got it out of my system.” I sniffed and finished getting the tears out of my eyes. “I'm feeling a little bit silly now.”
“Glad to hear it.” Cloud gave my nose a poke. “You were being a little silly.”
“Maybe just a little.” I ran my hoof down my face. “You're right, it has been too rough of a day to make a crazy and far reaching decision like this. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Cloud raised a hoof in a reassuring gesture. “We all have bad days, so trust me, I understand where you’re coming from.” She hummed contemplatively to herself. “Lemme propose something to you. You've heard of the three date rule, right?”
“I've read about it, yeah.” It certainly came up often enough in some of the fiction I had read.
“I'll make you a deal,” Cloud said. “If after the first practice date, you wanna go on two more and still like me pretty well by the end of the third date ... and I like you...”
“Then...” I made a circular motion with a hoof. “Things might happen? At least if we want them to.”
Cloud nodded. “Exactly. No pressure. We’re both responsible adults, and can make whatever decision we want to once we reach that point.” She grinned. “Trust me, while it would be great to make out with a mare as great as you, I can completely understand if you decide to turn down a good bang when it’s all said and done. I want this to be the right decision for you, not something you’re pressured into.”
“I think I can work with that,” I said.
“Cool.”
I let out a long, tired sigh. “So maybe we should pick that up later then? Things got a bit awkward here, and you seem to be doing a bit better now, unless I'm wrong.”
“Yeah, I am,” Cloud said. “So ... I guess I'll see you at tornado duty tomorrow?”
I nodded. “I am. Are you? It would be nice to know I'm not going to show up tomorrow alone.”
Cloud helped me up from the couch. “I promise I'll be there.”
“That makes me feel better to know.” I walked to the door and stopped. “I guess I'll get going then. Thanks for the drink, and it's good to see you're doing better, really. I'm happy we can be friends.”
“Me too.” She gave me a lecherous grin. “And thanks for the hot makeout session.”
I rolled my eyes in an exaggerated manner. “Glad I could help you in some small way. And I suppose there’s no harm in getting a little something for the road...” I gave her a quick peck on the lips.
Cloud returned the gesture. “Now that I could get used to.”
“It's a date then.” I opened the door and walked out, and deciding to see what would happen, moved my hips in what I hoped were interesting ways as I went. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow,” Cloud said absently, most of her attention on things that wasn’t what I was saying.
I smiled. “Glad we could have this talk.” I closed the door behind me.
"Twilight?" A distant part of my consciousness registered Spike poking me in the shoulder. "Twiiilight." Another firmer poke to my shoulder. "It's time to get up." There was a hint of uncertainty when he said that.
I groaned and slowly blinked open crust-covered eyes. "Spike?" He was wringing his claw nervously. I lifted my head off of the desk, only for an uncomfortable cramp to shoot through my neck. With a pained grunt, I went about rolling my head, feeling the joints pop. "Ugh, did I fall asleep in the lab again?"
Spike placed his claws on his hips, flatly glanced at the lab equipments surrounding me, and fixed me with a disapproving glower. "Uh, yeah. Last night you said you only needed to finish up a project and then you'd be right to bed."
I let out another groan and rubbed my throbbing head. Foggy memories from yesterday slowly drifted back. I really needed to stop working myself until I fell unconscious. "Right, I guess I got a bit carried away."
"I'll say you did." Spike jabbed a talon at the side of the room. "Considering you made that monster last night."
I blinked the blurriness out of my eyes to see what he was pointing at. To my surprise I saw a massive device, as big as any of the arcane machinery I had down in the basement, sitting against the wall. Now my memories came flooding back as I remembered what I had been doing.
After returning from Cloud Kicker's, I had repaired the anemometer that Ditzy Doo had somehow broken. From there I had attempted to write a letter to Shiny about his newly discovered fatherhood. That had not gone well. In the end, I had somehow come to the conclusion that a far more productive use of my time and energy was to build another anemometer large enough to track the wing power of every pegasus in town at the same time.
The me of last night must have been a very busy pony, because I could only half-remember deciding to do this project and actually putting the new anemometer together. The only practical use I could see for the monster was to see how well the weather team was doing while making the actual water tornado. Shame I hadn't considered the little things like how I’d fit it through the library's doors without disassembling it first. Then again, I could probably teleport it outside, even if there would then be the practical issue of getting it to where it would be actually useful.
“Oh, I did kind of make that, didn’t I?” I rubbed the back of my neck, I didn’t really want to deal with after a long day.
“I’ll say.” Spike gave me a scrutinizing look. “You sure there isn’t anything you want to talk about?”
I rubbed at my face as I tried to get myself to wake up. “Not right now.”
“Well I made you some coffee anyways.” He lifted a large cup of coffee to give to me. “Figured you’d be wanting it after the all-night build-a-thon.”
“Oh yes, thank you.” I eagerly took the cup and drank from it. The warm coffee sent a shiver down my spine, and I instantly felt more aware after doing so. “That is exactly what I needed.” I took another long sip and savored the aroma. “Mmm, so what time is it, anyways?”
Spike coughed to clear his throat. “Um, about that.” He pointed towards a clock on the wall. “It’s kinda eight o’clock now.”
I spit out the coffee I was in the middle of drinking, making me cough before I could speak again. “It’s eight already!” My eyes snapped to the clock to confirm what Spike had said. The fact he had rounded up gave me little comfort. “I’m late for tornado preparations! We’re late! We need to go right now! Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”
Spike gave me an unamused frown. “You’re normally the one that bothers to set the alarm clock.”
“Whatever,” I said with exasperation. I stood up, panic filling my limbs with new energy. “We need to get going!” In a rush I ran up the stairs and grabbed my saddlebags. At least me keeping everything together made it so I could get out the door faster. A flash of inspiration hit me for how I could get to the practice field the quickest.
Several teleports later I appeared in the middle of the training field, drawing the attention of every gathered pegasi… Whelp. If ponies didn’t realize I was missing already, they did now. It probably didn’t help that I hadn’t taken the time to clean up, eat breakfast, or even brush my mane out. This had not been well thought out on my end.
I found Blossomforth, Cloud Kicker, and Raindrops—also staring at me, of course. I gave them the best smile I could in my drowsy state. “Sorry I’m late, I had an absolutely incredible night of studying.”
“It’s fine,” Blossomforth quickly assured me. There was relief in her eyes as she said that.
“So...” I took a long pull from my coffee. “Where do you need me?”
“Could I get a quick headcount?” Blossomforth waved at the ponies around us. “We’ve got ponies missing, and I need to know who isn’t here so we can start rounding them all up.”
I finished off my coffee and gave a sharp nod. “Yes. Listing ponies. I can do that. Spike! Where’s my list of ponies? Spike!” I frowned and looked around for him. Wait… I facehoofed. “I ... think I left my number one assistant at the library. I should probably go get him. And maybe some more coffee too.”
Several more teleports later and I was back in the library with Spike glowering at me. He folded his arms over his chest to add to his image of discontentment. “You forgot me.”
“I ... forgot you,” I admitted, giving him the best apologetic smile I could manage.
“You also forgot the anemometer.” He pointed at the table where the rebuilt anemometer sat.
I ran my hoof down my face. “Sorry, I’m off this morning.”
Spike quirked an eyebrow ridge. “You think?”
I groaned. “Look, can we just try and get through the morning without commentary, and see if we can make the rest of the day work out?”
His features softened and he nodded. “Sure. Just don’t go running off without me in the future, okay?”
I levitated Spike and the anemometer onto my back and trotted back upstairs. “Trust me, not having my number one assistant at my side on a day like this is about the last thing I want right now.”
That made him beam. “You know you’d be lost without me.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say lost.” I headed to the kitchen to pour myself another fresh cup of coffee. “But I’d certainly be worse off without you.” I drank from the cup and let out a content sigh. “Now then, I want to get back to the practice field quickly. So I’m going to teleport to get there. You ready?”
Spike nodded. “Ready when you are.”
After yet more teleports that were starting to drain even my magical reserves, we arrived at the practice field. At least fewer ponies were staring this time.
Blossomforth trotted over to us when she saw us. “Got everything you need now?”
I nodded. “Sorry about that. It has been a crazy last few days.”
Spike hopped off my back. “You're telling me. Hopefully the rest of the day can be normal.”
Blossomforth groaned in agreement and rubbed the back of her neck. “Yeah, no kidding.” She covered her mouth as she let out a cough. “How you holding up by the way? No offense, but you seem a little bit frazzled at the moment.”
I couldn’t help but grin. “You noticed, did you?” I let out a long sigh. “Sorry, I forgot to set my alarm clock last night and woke up late. But as of right now I'm alive and still standing on my own four hooves, so that's something.”
She gave a tired nod. “Gives us something to build on. You showed up, at least. That’s better than a lot of ponies so far today.”
It was more than a little bit worrying about how many ponies apparently hadn’t shown up for Tornado Duty. Doubly so when Rainbow Dash was nowhere to be seen. As I had feared, we were pretty close to everything falling apart. “So what did you need me to do?” I asked.
“Me too,” Spike offered with a grin.
“Might as well stick with what we were doing yesterday.” Blossomforth rubbed her chin. “Spike, you okay with running ponies by the anemometer again today?”
Spike waved dismissively. “Please, I could do that in my sleep by now. I’ve got this.”
“Great, I knew I could count on you,” Blossomforth said. “And Twilight, if you could take a headcount on everypony and then round up all the strays, that would really help out.”
I nodded. “Sure, I can do that.”
She let out a wary sigh. “Good, because you're gonna be busy. A lot of ponies figured no Rainbow meant no Tornado Duty. I’m not sure exactly how many didn’t show up, but it was a lot. Just do what you can about it. I’m not expecting miracles, but we need to get at least enough pegasi to get that water tornado off the ground.”
“That I couldn’t agree with more.” I levitated the anemometer out for Spike and laid out the quilt so he could be comfortable. “I’ll get as many ponies to show up as I can.”
Blossomforth smiled appreciatively. “Thanks, Twilight. Really. You didn’t have to come today, but it means a lot to us that you did.”
I smiled back at her. “Of course, I'm not going to be giving up that easily.”
“I didn't figure you would,” she agreed readily.
We were interrupted with Cloud Kicker trotted up to us. “You two got the list of AWOL ponies together yet?” Her tone sounded tense. I wondered if that was because of the trouble they were having with Tornado Duty in general, or because of her more recent troubles. It could easily have been both considering everything that had happened. Near as I knew, she was only working on the basis that she believed Rainbow would rehire her as soon as she got out of the hospital.
“Yeah, I have the list right here.” I levitated the list of ponies to her.
“Cloud Kicker?” Blossomforth shot her a concerned look. “Are you alright?”
“Peachy,” Cloud answered tightly. “I’ll be back with the rest of our conscripts.”
“Thanks.” Blossomforth gestured to me. “Take Twilight with you, if you don’t mind.”
“That would be nice.” That brought a smile to Cloud’s face, though it was strained at the edges. It made me wonder if she had taken a few more hits since I had last seen her. Blossomforth’s worry certainly didn’t make it seem like she was doing great at the moment, and I could still detect the tension between them that had been going on since Tornado Day training had started. “Never a bad day when I get to spend time with the Duchess.”
Blossomforth rolled her eyes. “Just make sure to keep your mind on task, Cloud. You’re already in enough hot water without making things more complicated, if you get what I mean.”
Cloud returned with an easy grin. “Who? Me? Making things complicated?”
“I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.” Blossomforth shot me a look. “Try to keep her on task. I know that’s almost impossible with her, so I’m only asking you to try.”
“I’ll do my best,” I assured her, giving Cloud a playful warning look.
“Right, well I need to crack down on everypony else. See you both later.” Blossomforth trotted off to assist with the training, leaving me and Cloud alone.
“So, shall we get to it?” I asked Cloud. “The first step seems to be to figure out who isn’t here, and work from there.”
“Sounds good to me,” Cloud said.
After half an hour’s work we had compiled a depressingly long list. Fluttershy's name was among those who hadn’t showed up. It seemed that she couldn't get over her humiliation from the previous day. I didn't like the idea that we might have to threaten to fine her to get her to come to Tornado Duty. I had to wonder how long it would take before ponies started talking about how Rainbow was playing favorites with Fluttershy. If I was going to be honest with myself, that might very well be the case. Just one more thing to undermine Rainbow's authority.
“So, looks like we have quite the list of ponies to roundup today,” I said, stating the obvious.
Cloud nodded in agreement as she reviewed the list. “Yeah, we're gonna be busy.”
"That we are," I said. "Um, by the way. I hope you're feeling better after yesterday. That was pretty rough."
Cloud shot me a confident smirk, though I still noted a hint of strain in it. "Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better now. Just needed some time to clear my head."
"Good to hear." However awkward it might be, I jumped into the obvious topic that stood between us. "Sorry about ... making things kind of awkward last night."
"It's fine." Her grin became more genuine and she waved the issue off. "I did enjoy the kissing."
"You would." I bumped her hip with my own.
"What can I say? A day has never been a complete waste when I'm kissed by a pretty mare." Cloud leaned her head to whisper seductively. "And I didn't hear you complain either."
My cheeks started to burn at Cloud's close proximity. "Yeah, that was ... something alright. Not exactly what I intended on doing when I visited you."
"Not exactly what I expected either. But I'll take it." She nudged my shoulder. "You feeling better? You took a few hits yesterday too."
"More or less." I shrugged indifferently. I didn’t particularly want to get into some of the bigger issues that were bothering me at the moment. "More than anything, I'm worried about Rainbow right now. I was thinking about trying to visit her after Tornado Day preparations today."
"I think that would be a good idea," Cloud said. "Mind if I join? I'd like to make sure she’s doing alright."
"Sure, if you want." Hopefully we could keep an attempt at making Rainbow feel better from exploding in my face. Still, I really wanted to see her. The idea that my friend was hurt was causing knots to form in my stomach.
Cloud seemed to hesitate before saying, "Also, she really doesn't need to know about our little smooching session."
I hadn't even considered that angle of what I had done the previous evening with Cloud. What would my friends think of whatever it was I had with Cloud? Would they be okay with it, be scornful, or something in between? "You're probably right about that. At least right now. Or about our upcoming date, now that I think about it."
Cloud nodded. "She's gonna be stressed enough as it is. The last thing she needs right now is for us to make it worse for her by dumping something on her that's just going to get her worked up again."
“Right, so we won’t mention any of that just yet.” I wasn’t exactly wild about being slightly deceptive towards Rainbow, but after everything that had already happened with her over the last couple of days, it didn’t strike me as the best move to give her another shock. “Let’s concentrate on checking up on her and showing her that I'm thinking about her. We'll work out those pesky details one at a time.”
“Nice and simple.” Cloud gave me a faint, halfhearted smirk. “Always good to keep it simple with Dash. She doesn't like thinking too much.”
I chuckled. “She prefers to do her thinking in straight lines.” A sad smile crept onto my lips. “Let’s just try and keep Tornado Day together for her in the meantime, then. That’s probably the best thing we can do for her at the end of the day.”
“Can do.” Cloud’s eyes scanned the extensive list of missing pegasi. “Oooh. We might wanna split up for some of these. You know, cover more ground.”
I took a moment to consider the idea and then nodded. “That would probably be for the best. We want ponies to get back to training in time for that training to mean anything, after all.”
“I'll take the south half of town, you take the north?” she asked, offering the second half of the list to me.
I took the offered papers and saw who was at the top of the list. Part of me wished I had the first half of the list, but that was getting a bit obsessive-compulsive even for me. “Sounds good to me.”
Cloud packed her half of the list under a wing. “Right, see you when we're done?”
“See you then.”
Rounding ponies up went about as well as could have been expected considering the circumstances. Most were willing to go back to training without much in the way of a fuss, the rest that did cause trouble were pretty quickly convinced once the threat of a fine came up. Still, tracking everypony down to go to Tornado Duty took up the majority of the morning and early afternoon. No matter how quick I was doing it, it still took time walking around Ponyville, knocking on doors, and talking with everypony that needed talking to. It wasn’t that long after I had returned to the practice field before everypony started packing up and heading home. After I had made some goodbyes with Blossomforth and Derpy, I began the process of packing my own things up with Spike.
We were in the middle of that when Cloud Kicker trotted up to us. “Hey, need any help there?”
“You don’t have to,” I told her.
“Don’t have to, but still want to.” Cloud gave me a confident smile. “Besides, the quicker we finish up here, the sooner we can go see Rainbow.”
I shrugged. “I can’t argue with that logic. Help us gather everything, and we can drop all of this off at the library.”
“Sounds good,” Cloud agreed.
After picking everything up and dropping my things and Spike off at the library, the two of us headed to the hospital. Thankfully, a quick inquiry with the hospital staff confirmed that we could see Rainbow Dash if we wanted to. That much had gone right at least. After getting some instructions about where to find her, we found our way to Rainbow’s room.
I knocked on the doorframe and poked my head inside. “Rainbow, you here?” A dumb question, but it’s always a bit awkward to visit somepony in a hospital like this. “We came to visit.”
Rainbow was indeed in her room. She was wearing a hospital apron that Rarity would no doubt consider to be quite unfashionable. Her head jerked to look at me and she quickly put the book she had been reading to the side. “Twilight, hey!” Her enthusiasm immediately dampened when she saw Cloud enter the room after me. “Um, hey, Cloud.”
Cloud hesitated as she stood in the doorway, making me worry that she was going to leave without even saying a word. Eventually she managed to put on a shaky smile. “Hey, Dash.”
The tension quickly built up to something that was almost solid between us.
“So, wanna chat?” Rainbow finally asked. One of her ears twitched and her tone took on a bitter edge. “I mean, you know, it's not like I was in the hospital or anything ... no reason to stop on by or ask about me...”
I winced as the venom struck home. “Everypony said you weren't in the mood to see much of anypony.” The excuse sounded lame to my ears as I said it. I always wanted to help my friends, and it felt like I was failing here.
“Eepy and I did tell her that this wasn't a good time to visit,” Cloud pointed out. “And our last talk didn’t exactly go great.”
Rainbow crossed her forelegs over her chest and glowered. “Still could've asked after me...”
“Last time we talked we had a big argument.” I let out a sigh, trying to keep my voice level as I reasoned with Rainbow. “And you don't exactly like to be pushed. I'm sorry if I didn't come when you wanted me to. I just wanted it to be when the timing was right.”
Cloud poked Rainbow playfully in the side. “You know she cares about you.”
“Coulda used a friend,” Rainbow mumbled, but I could hear her attempt to stay mad wavering.
“I'm sorry.” I hugged her, hoping it would do something to make her feel better.
Slowly Rainbow Dash’s legs wrapped around me in a hug, and while I’m sure she would deny it to anypony who asked, I heard her sniffle as she held me. “They're gonna have to operate on my eye to fix it.”
Cloud winced and turned her gaze to the floor. No doubt her memories of her fight with Rainbow yesterday were coming back to her at that moment. What a mess. I could only imagine how I would feel if I accidently hurt one of my friends like Cloud probably had.
While I wanted to go ahead and comfort Cloud too, I was at the hospital to boost Rainbow’s morale, and I was already hugging her. “Hey, it's okay.” I nuzzled her. “The fact they want to do surgery means they can make it better, right?”
“But...what if they can't?” Rainbow gently pushed me back to legs length, and I saw the growing panic in her eyes. “What if they mess up or they can't fix it? I might never get into the Wonderbolts if they know I have eye problems! Your vision needs to be perfect in order to be a Wonderbolt! My life would be ruined!”
Cloud’s head hung as Rainbow went through her scared tirade.
“We can always make sure you get a really good eye doctor,” I offered. “One of the best. No reason you can't shop around for the right doctor. Especially when having good sight is so important for being in the Wonderbolts.”
Rainbow sniffled, rubbing at one of her eyes. “Y-you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.” I gave her a smile to try an encourage her. She needed somepony to be strong for her, and I was going to do everything I could to be that pony.
“I'll pay what I can,” Cloud said quietly, shame filling her voice as she didn’t raise her gaze from the floor. “It might take a bit to save up all the money, but I’ll do it.”
“T-thanks,” Rainbow said in a squeak. She hastily rubbed a foreleg across her muzzle to hide the sniffling she was doing. Even now she wanted to maintain her pride.
Seizing the moment, I took the opportunity to address something else. “I'm sorry we got into an argument. That really wasn’t something I wanted to happen.” A serious argument with one of my friends had been one of the singularly least pleasant things to happen in my life. “For my part, there were probably better ways for me to have approached that problem, but I got caught up in the moment.” If I had thought it through, I probably would have realized it would have been much smarter to talk to Rainbow away from everypony else. Confronting her in front of everypony had only provoked her pride all the more, and made it more difficult for her to back down to do the right thing by giving Cloud her job back.
Rainbow sniffled some more as she wiped some tears out of her eyes. “Y-yeah, I'm sorry too. Things just ... with Tornado Day and trying to make Fluttershy feel good about herself... It just felt like nothing was working. All I wanted to do was show how awesome Ponyville really is, but then nearly everypony was half-flanking it and not taking anything seriously and it—” Rainbow let out a frustrated groan that spoke more about how she was feeling than any words could have.
“Hey.” I placed a hoof on her shoulder. “We’re here for you.”
“Right,” Rainbow said reluctantly. She looked over to Cloud, who had been silent for much of the conversation. “You in, Cloud?”
A smile started to form on Cloud’s face. “Of course.”
“Cloud did help keep Tornado Duty going this morning,” I said helpfully, working to bind Cloud and Rainbow’s friendship back together.
Rainbow gave a shaky grin. “That's because she's awesome.”
Cloud paused for a second before punching Rainbow in the shoulder. “We good?”
Rainbow punched her back. “Yeah we are.”
I felt a great weight lift off my back as I saw the two of them become more friendly with one another. “I’m really happy that we could resolve this.”
“Not just you,” Cloud agreed.
Rainbow wrapped her wings around the both of us to give us a hug. “You said it. Glad we're all done with the drama 'n stuff.”
I hugged her back. “Yeah, I've had more than enough of that recently.”
“After this, anything else would be small potatoes, amiright?” Rainbow asked.
I made a laugh that sounded more strained than I intended. “Err, right.”
Rainbow quirked one of her eyebrows. “You okay, Twi?”
“I'm fine,” I said, trying to move away from my own discomfort. The last thing I needed to do was bring up something like who Dinky’s father really was. Rainbow would of course find out someday, but first Ditzy and Shiny needed to be told. “Nothing you need to worry about. You need to concentrate on recovering right now.”
Rainbow gave me an unconvinced frown. “You sure? You're getting that 'obsessed over a late friendship report' look in your eyes.”
Cloud patted me on the back. “It'll be okay,” she said in a way that told me she had a good idea about what I was thinking. I had kind of spilled the big news right out in front of her, even if I had made her promise not to tell anypony.
“I'll deal with it.” Somehow. “I just... need a bit of time to sort it out, I think.” I stood up and away from the bed. “But right now let's concentrate on making sure you feel better, Rainbow. You want anything while we’re here?”
“Now that you mention it...” Rainbow rubbed her chin, a wicked glimmer in her eyes.
“Dear Shadow, here it comes,” Cloud said in amusement.
“What?” Rainbow crossed her forelegs. “Just saying, it would be nice to get some decent grub in here. Oh, and a pillow with some actual fluff. These groundside pillows just don’t do it for me.” She batted her eyes at me. “And the new Daring Doo book would be great.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “The next Daring Doo book doesn’t come out for another two months.”
“Shoot.” Rainbow grumbled to herself. “Can’t you just magic it from the future or something?” She pointed at my horn. “That’s gotta be useful for something, right? Miss Element of Magic.”
“I’m not abusing my magic to get you a novel a couple months early,” I said flatly.
“Well, how about getting me a ticket to a Wonderbolts show?” Rainbow asked sweetly. “That’d make me feel better.”
I applied my hoof to my face. “I’ll get you a ticket if it will help put this whole incident behind us, and because you’re hurt.”
“Great!” Rainbow smiled smugly. “You’re the best, Twi.”
Cloud chuckled and rolled her eyes. “Never change, Dash, never change.”
I was happy when Tornado Day was over and done with. What I had hoped would be a relatively straightforward project had become much more difficult and filled with drama than I would have preferred. Still, we had managed to get the water tornado, or what is more accurately called a waterspout, to Cloudsdale, even if we hadn't broken the record like Rainbow wanted. There wasn't much that could have been done about that when half the pegasi in town became sick. It probably didn't help that we had created fairly ideal plague conditions by gathering all the pegasi in town at one spot. Hopefully not too many pegasi figured that out and came to resent Rainbow for it.
But in any event, Tornado Day was over and we had completed our most important objective. That was what was what really mattered. Fluttershy had even come through to give us the wingpower we needed to do the job, and I got the opportunity to use that oversized monster of an anemometer I had made. Shame I was still working on what to do with the thing now that its only purpose was over. It wasn't something I wanted to waste storage room on in the library, and I couldn't see many ponies wanting to borrow or keep it. Maybe I would just end up scrapping it for parts and working from there.
Now the big question was what I would be doing now that Tornado Day was over? Finding out that my brother was probably a father was not a revelation I particularly enjoyed, but it was something I would have to deal with. In the end, I had decided to write my brother a letter telling him that I needed to speak to him about something important and asked when would be a good time to meet him in the near future. I also resolved to speak with Ditzy Doo about what I had discovered. Though I was going to save that for tomorrow; Ditzy’s kids shouldn’t have returned by then, which would make that conversation much easier.
There was also the fact I had a date today. My very first date. That was a bit of a big deal, or at least I imagined it was. I had of course read up on the topic, but I still felt woefully unprepared for the occasion. In the face of my continued feelings of inadequacy about the issue, I turned to one of my backup sources for information about topics I wasn't knowledgeable in: my friends.
In the end, I had decided to talk to Rarity about the issue of dating. Being a social butterfly and having plenty of experience with dating based on my conversations with her, she seemed the most ideal to talk to about my date with Cloud Kicker later that day. I knocked on the door of the Carousel Boutique and heard Rarity’s singsong greeting. "Come iiin."
I entered and greeted Rarity with a smile. She was wearing her creativity glasses (as I called them) and had several tools of her trade levitating around her as she examined a dress on one of her ponyquines.
"Hi, Rarity," I said. "I hope you're not busy with something at the moment."
"Oh!" Rarity swiftly put her tools down on a nearby table before facing me. "Nothing that can't wait for a good friend. I was just putting on some final touches to a dress, but it's not urgent."
"If you're sure," I hedged. I glanced back towards the door, I didn’t like the idea of interrupting her work. "I can always come back later if there is a better time."
"No, stay, darling." She stepped beside me and guided me towards the back of her shop. "I was about due for a break anyways. So what can I do for you?"
"I was wondering if we could have a girl talk." I gave her a smile that felt strained. "It's a bit sensitive."
"Oh? Girl talk?" Rarity herded me to her kitchen and bade me to sit at her table. I complied and fidgeted in my seat. "Now then, what did you want to talk about?"
I cleared my throat, feeling unsure about coming here. "Well, I don't want this to get out all around town..."
"You can trust my discretion." Rarity opened up one of her kitchen drawers. "Would you like some tea to drink while we talk?” I nodded and she put some tea on the stove. “Now then, what is it that has you so nervous?”
“Right.” I pushed aside my nervousness and jumped into what brought me here. “I'm going to have a date tonight. It’s going to be with Cloud Kicker. We decided to have one during Tornado Day preparations.” And a couple more after that, if we really wanted to.
Rarity’s ears perked up eagerly. “You are? That's wonderful!” She suppressed a squeal of delight and sat down opposite. “Now I imagine the reason you came to me is that you wanted a little friendly advice?”
“If you don't mind me asking.” It felt a bit awkward asking about something like this, but that was why I was here.
“Not at all, darling. It would be my pleasure.” A smile with a hint of mischief crept onto her lips. “First, you need to be careful not to seem too eager. It's not ladylike. Though of course, you shouldn't seem disinterested.”
I tilted my head at that advice. “That sounds tricky to the point of almost being contradictory.”
“It's a very delicate balance, I admit.” Rarity levitated over the tea kettle and some cups. “But it is an important one to make.”
“I was worried it was going to be hard like that. From everything I've read, dating seems to have so many ... rules, I'll say. But opinions are all over the place on what is and isn't allowed, so much stuff is situational, and it's so confusing.” I rubbed my face, feeling a headache returning from the previous night when I had tried to make sense of all the studying I had done for my date. You would think that ponies would have had the whole dating process down after doing it for millennia, but that didn’t seem to be the case. Or at least, that knowledge hadn’t been written down in any book I had read. “It feels like I could screw it up at any moment.”
“Oh. Yes, of course.” She let out a sigh and primped her mane. “In that case, let me offer you some far better advice: just relax, be yourself, and try to have fun. I think if you try too hard to make the date perfect, you'd just work yourself into a frenzy.” After a moment, she added, “No offense.”
“I only do that sometimes,” I grumbled. Just because I occasionally work myself to exhaustion during some of my studies or projects, or got a bit worked up when something needed to be done, or accidently caused a disaster or two didn’t mean I was that bad. Really.
Rarity sipped at her tea before speaking again. “Still, let's not do it again. No sense working yourself into a tizzy when you should be trying to enjoy yourself.”
I sighed and nodded in agreement. “Right, so don't try and aim for the perfect date. I wasn't exactly aiming for that anyways. More of a casual thing, really. Get my hooves wet, that type of thing.”
Rarity smiled pleasantly. “Excellent. Honestly, I think you'll do fine. You are a charming young mare and excellent company.”
“Thanks.” Rarity’s words helped me feel a little more confident, but as I sipped my tea another issue came to mind. “So, you're okay with me dating Cloud Kicker? I know she has a bit of a reputation.” She was a bit unique in Ponyville like that. Especially when it felt like a lot of ponies had come to know her.
"Well of course, darling," she said dismissively. "I'm just glad you're going out and dating regardless of who it is, as long as the pony you’re dating has good intentions. What is most important is that you enjoy yourself. As far as Cloud Kicker is concerned, Pinkie and Rainbow both seem to like her. That is all I really need to know that you will be fine."
"That is true," I said. "She and Rainbow have been friends for a long time."
Rarity nodded "Even if she is a bit fond of ... socializing, she still seems to be a good pony from what I've heard. I doubt Rainbow or Pinkie would care for her if she wasn't."
I sipped my tea as I considered that. "She's still a bit of an enigma to me, but she's nice enough. And kind of funny once you get to know her." I shrugged. "I'm nervous, but I'm still looking forward to it."
"I think that's a very good attitude to have." Rarity refilled our cups. "Really, the worst that could happen is that you find out that you don't really want to date anymore and decide not to pursue the relationship. But trust me, that is hardly a disaster. Just try and enjoy yourself and see where things go and you will be fine."
"I suppose there isn't too much chance of a disaster," I allowed. "I mean after everything that happened leading up to Tornado Day..."
Rarity smiled amusedly as she stirred her tea. "Though I would recommend against the two of you getting ... social."
"Um, you're using 'social' as a euphemism, aren't you?" I thought it best to be completely sure I understood what she was saying.
Rarity's nose crumpled up with a ladylike sniff. "Yes, I am."
Feeling that I may have offended her, I decided to keep moving along with the conversation. "Trust me, I don't plan on doing that for the first date." I probably wouldn't ever be ‘socializing’ in that manner. Even if I was curious about exactly what it was, purely for scientific purposes of course.
"I wouldn't advise it either," Rarity said seriously. "Especially for the first date. You don't want ponies spreading rumors around town. But I suspect more than one pony has gone out with Cloud Kicker not expecting anything of the sort to happen, only to wake up in her bed the next day."
"She's probably pretty good at that." I made sure not to mention what nearly happened the other night when I had visited Cloud Kicker at her home. That had nearly escalated to some pretty serious territory before we’d put on the brakes. "Though she said she wouldn't, um, be too aggressive the first date," I said in her defense.
"I'm glad to hear it," Rarity said.
I nodded. "We've certainly had plenty of time around one another recently, and we've come to an understanding." Granted, we were moving into new territory with the whole dating thing.
Rarity smiled pleasantly. "That's good to hear. Having some ground rules ahead of time can't hurt, at the very least."
"So, any other sage advice?" I asked. Talking with Rarity was making me feel much better about this evening. The date was starting to feel manageable instead of some colossal scary thing.
"I think we covered the most important things. Just believe in yourself and relax." Rarity stood up and started ushering us back toward her shop. "Though I can give you a few more pointers while I fit you for a new dress. Sadly, I can't make a completely new dress for you, but I think I have a few on the racks that should serve quite nicely for a first date."
I gave her an amused grin while being lead back into the Boutique. "I had a feeling I wasn't going to be able to walk away without a dress."
"Perish the thought," Rarity said immediately. "A beautiful mare such as yourself deserves to look her best for her first date. I could hardly call myself a good friend if I didn't give you the best I can offer on such short notice."
"Thanks." Rarity's air of confidence was infectious, and I felt a lot of my stress falling to the side. "I know talking with you is making me feel at least a little bit better."
"That's good to hear." Rarity smiled and drew me into a hug. "You will do fine. I'm sure of it."
I returned the hug. "Thanks, Rarity."
"Anytime."
I do not like waiting. I suppose that put me into the same category as most ponies, but for me waiting constituted wasted time. I made my daily schedules for a reason. I wanted my days to be as efficient as possible. No wasted motion. Though as I stared up at my bedroom clock, I couldn't help but notice that my date was now exactly nine minutes and thirty-four seconds late. I had finished preparing myself half an hour before Cloud was supposed to show up. I wanted to be sure my mane, dress, makeup and other odds and ends were all set when my date arrived. Shame all my planning had done was cause my anxiety to grow as I waited. The calm and confidence Rarity had given me were eroding away as the sands of time ground against them.
Thankfully, Rarity had a dress that both fit and looked good on me. For whatever reason, she never seemed to like my old dresses from before I moved to Ponyville and always insisted that I wear something she had designed. Maybe it had something to do with changes in fashion. I had never been very good at determining what was and wasn't popular for clothing, especially while living in a very clothes-conscious city like Canterlot.
In any event, Rarity had given me a nice dark blue dress that would have been right at home at any party in Canterlot. I had worried that Rarity would have insisted that I should wear something more provocative, but that hadn't been the case. The dress wasn't as simple as I would have preferred, but it would do.
Of course, everything going right thus far was undercut by Cloud now being eleven minutes late. I was beginning to worry that I might be getting stood up when there was a knock on the door.
"Oh! That's probably her!" I nearly bolted for the door when Rarity's advice stopped me. She had told me not to seem too eager, though not disinterested either. Thinking back to what I had read in some of books, I called out to my assistant "Spike! Spiiike!"
"What?" Spike turned his attention from the comic book he had been reading in his basket. He gave me a slightly annoyed frown. "I'm right here. What do you want?"
I smiled sweetly. "Could you get the door for me? If it's Cloud Kicker, let her in and tell her that I'll be down in a few minutes."
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Why me? You’re the one that’s been pacing all over the place waiting for her.”
I let out a frustrated groan. “Because I don’t want to seem too eager. That’s bad, apparently. Look, please just do this for me, okay? I’ll be right down in five minutes, promise.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Spike placed his comic down in his basket and made his way downstairs. Listening carefully, I heard him open the door. Though I couldn’t hear the words of the conversation, I did recognize Cloud’s voice.
While it struck part of me as rude to make Cloud wait like this, I nonetheless watched the clock until exactly five minutes passed before heading down the stairs.
“Twilight doesn't really appreciate my comics,” Spike said as I reached the bottom of the stairs. “She doesn't think they're 'real literature.' I mean sheesh, can you believe her?”
Cloud shrugged. “I figure any format can tell a good story, whether it's a comic or a book.”
“I didn't say that, exactly,” I said more defensively than I had intended. “I just said they aren’t really literature because they’re more of a visual medium. Their storytelling is equally, if not more so, dependent on their visual representations of events versus anything written in them. They’re just a different form of entertainment than books. There is nothing wrong with liking comic books.”
“So you'll get me a comic this Hearth's Warming?” Spike looked up at me with a hopeful grin.
I let out a long exhale. This really wasn’t the time to get into an argument about what he should get for Hearth’s Warming. “Add some comic book titles to your gift list and I'll look into it.”
“Great!” Spike ran back upstairs. I had found it useful to ask Spike to maintain a Hearth’s Warming gift list that he could add stuff he wanted to throughout the year. It was quite efficient at making sure that he had a good list for when the holiday came around, and helped him prioritize what he really wanted when I went over the list with him before buying gifts.
Cloud waited for Spike to leave before turning back to me. “Glad that's settled.” She looked me up and down and her lips curled with a pleased smile. “Nice.”
The way she said that single word made my cheeks burn. “I didn't exactly do much. Rarity gave me the dress, and I just did up my mane and put on some makeup.”
“You look good, that dress really works on you,” Cloud assured me.
“Thanks.” The compliments only served to fluster me. I wasn’t some blushing school-age filly who couldn’t put three words together just because a cute pony noticed me. “It's not too much, is it? I mean Rarity wouldn't let me leave unless I got something for this date.”
“No no no, it looks great.” She gave me a reassuring smile. “Absolutely perfect for you. Trust me, you have nothingto worry about.”
I smiled shyly and then looked her over. Cloud was wearing a simple but nice looking red silk dress. Strictly speaking from an aesthetic viewpoint, it also seemed to hug all the right spots to make her look even more appealing. I wasn’t staring, of course; merely appraising it from an analytical viewpoint. “You don't look bad yourself. I mean, you look good. That is what I meant.” To keep myself from verbally stumbling anymore, I switched topic slightly. “I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you favor the red dresses.”
Cloud shot me a confident grin, almost preening with how she carried herself. “Red's a good color on me.”
“That I can't disagree with.” Feeling myself slipping into territory that felt like quicksand, I moved onto something more comfortable. “So, where are we heading for the date?”
“There's a nice new restaurant in town that has a good reputation,” Cloud said. “How about we check it out?”
“Sounds good to me,” I agreed. “Let's go.”
Cloud Kicker led us out of the library. The two of us were walking through the Ponyville market when I heard a familiar voice call out to me.
"Hey, Twi!" I looked to see Applejack waving at me. Her cart looked to be halfway shut up for the evening. "What're ya dressed up fer?" Immediately after that, her gaze shifted to Cloud and her welcoming smile shifted to a suspicious scowl. "And her too?"
"Oh, we're on a date!" I gave her a smile that my heart wasn't completely in. I worried how Applejack might react to me going on a date with Cloud. She could be a bit protective around her big brother, but I wasn't sure if that extended to her friends too. It didn't help that I knew she didn't have the best opinion of Cloud.
"A date—with Cloud Kicker?" Applejack tipped back her hat to scratch at her head. "Really?"
Cloud shot Applejack with one of those confident grins I expected out of her. "Yeah, I'm taking her out for a night on the town."
"That so?" Applejack turned a suspicious eye on Cloud. "Now ye’re gonna treat mah friend right, ain't ya? No funny business Ah might have to talk to ya about later, right?"
Cloud nodded. "Of course I will."
I put on a reassuring smile. "I'm sure Cloud will be the perfect gentlemare."
"Well, Ah hope she will be, because you deserve the best, Twi." Somehow, the look she was giving Cloud became all the more suspicious. "The very best, ya hear?"
"Yeah, sure." If Cloud was intimidated by Applejack, she was doing a good job of hiding it. She probably had a lot of experience dealing with this type of situation. "Let me guess: if I don't treat her right, you'll track me down and break my legs?"
"Somethin' like that." Applejack's features softened and her tone became lighter. "Nothin' personal, just lookin' out for one of my best friends."
I let out a laugh that I hoped would lighten the mood. Shame it sounded like it reeked of desperation. "I'm sure we won't need to have anypony's legs broken. We're going to have a nice, friendly, non-leg breaking-worthy date."
"Uh-huh," Applejack said with less-than-complete assurance. "Well, I hope you'll enjoy yourselves then. Just don't go and do anything crazy."
Cloud's grin didn't waver. "Yeah, you know me. I'm not a fan of crazy."
Applejack shrugged. "Ah've heard a bit differently, but Ah'll take yer word on that."
“Riiight.” I took Cloud by the leg and started leading her away. “See you later, Applejack!”
“See ya, Twi.” Applejack returned to her cart to finish up her day in the market. “Don't do anything Ah wouldn't.”
The two of us waved goodbye as we left Applejack. Once we were far enough away, I asked. “Is she normally like that around you?”
Cloud Kicker shrugged. “She's not exactly my biggest fan. I think it's because the first night we met, I borrowed her brother for a bit.”
“That's a euphemism, isn't it?” I asked.
She grinned mischievously. “Maaaybe.”
“That ‘maaaybe’ is a yes. I'm sure of it.” I poked her in a teasing manner.
“Is that what you'd like to see?” Cloud asked.
“It wouldn't exactly be a surprise to hear you've had an eye on Big Macintosh.” She wouldn’t exactly be unique in that. I was pretty sure the vast majority of the mares in Ponyville had given the apple farmer an appraising look at least once.
“He is a pretty nice hunk of stallion.” Cloud looked me in the eyes and smiled warmly. “But he's not the one I'm dating right now. You are, and you’re the one I want to have a good time with.”
“Living in the moment, are you?” I asked as we continued down the street towards the restaurant.
“That's usually the best way to do it,” Cloud said. “A little bit of planning is a good thing. I know there are times I get a little frustrated with Rainbow running everything by the seat of her saddle. I’ll come up with a nice, organized way to help distribute rainclouds for a rainstorm and then she’ll come and grab up the first clouds she can get her hooves on and ruin my whole strategy.”
“I can imagine.” My friend was great, but she did have tendencies that could get under my skin. “It can be a bit annoying when I've planned my whole day out, and then Rainbow comes flying in wanting to do her own thing and expecting me to drop everything I had planned. And you better believe that she is going to be offput if you aren’t willing to go along with whatever has gotten into her head.” I let out a huff. “That's just how she is, though.”
A lazy smile worked its way onto Cloud’s face and she looked down the street with a distant gaze. “Yeah, you gotta love her.”
I was about to reply when I felt something hit my chest. I looked down and saw an arrow with a suction cup at the end sticking out of me. To further add to my confusion, quivering at the end of the arrow was a heart-shaped fletching. Cloud gave the arrow an equally befuddled stare. Before either of us could respond to what was happening, Pinkie Pie came bouncing down the street. Adding to the oddness, Pinkie was wearing a pair of artificial white wings and a crown made of interlocking heart shapes.
Pinkie stopped in front of us and her mouth widened with a big smile. “By the arrow that pierces the heavens and heartstrings of ponykind, I dub thee hence bonded together in the mutual enjoyment of thy date! Also, hi!”
I may have had to pull my jaw from the ground before responding. “Um, hi?”
“Sooo.” She leaned in and wiggled her eyebrows conspiratorially. “On a date, huh?”
“Pretty much,” I confirmed, my brain getting back on track after the sudden derailment. “We're just having a nice, casual date.”
Having had a moment to recompose herself, Cloud spoke with a deadpan voice as though nothing was out of the ordinary. To be fair, this was pretty much was ordinary for Pinkie. “Hey, Pinkie. What's up?”
“Oh y'know, making sure my bestie has the best date ever!” Pinkie bounced up and down.
Cloud grinned. “Well, I can help with that.” She nudged me in the side with an elbow. “It’s kinda the point of me dating you.”
“Yes, you can!” Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “For Twilight has chosen suitable stock from the pegasi in Ponyville.”
Cloud buffed her hoof on her chest. “You could say that.”
Pinkie grabbed Cloud and with a single blindingly fast motion put her on a small podium that hadn't been in the middle of the street a second ago. A stage light whose source I couldn't readily identify lit up and shined down on Cloud. Pinkie struck a pose to show off my date, with a microphone in her grasp. "Admire Cloud Kicker. Note her free-flowing blonde hair that almost looks like sweet honey. Pay special attention to that striking red that goes so tastefully with her very cuddly and fluffy coat. Feel for yourself, her smooth yet strong muscles that promise oh so much! She's great! I should know."
Taking this strange event with aplomb, Cloud grinned and lifted one of her legs in a confident pose.
Before I could react to this strange display in front of me, I found myself on an identical podium with a light shining down on me. "And Miss Kicker, might I add that you are one lucky mare tonight! Yes siree bob, Twilight is a mare like no other! Gaze upon that very lovely mane, in all of its unique shades! Fall in love with her cute voice and adorkable mannerisms!" She sniffed at me, making me feel more than a bit self-conscious and embarrassed. "Take in that fresh new book smell! And last but certainly not least, feast your eyes on that cute librarian tushie."
"Pinkie!" I felt myself blush furiously at the sudden exposure of my person. Something like this happening was most definitely not mentioned in any of my books.
Cloud grinned as she looked me over with an analytical, one could almost say lecherous, eye. "Not bad. Not bad at all."
"Aw, don't be embarrassed!" Pinkie pulled me off the podium and fixed me with one of her big smiles. "You look amazing, Twilight. Cloud's a very lucky pony, and I'm a very jelly one right now."
"Um, thanks?" I felt like I should have said something a bit wittier at that moment, but my consternation kept anything particularly intelligent from coming to mind.
Cloud stepped down from her podium. "Yeah, I'm looking forward to this. I couldn't ask for a better date."
"Hopefully we can get this date off the ground," I remarked with more than a little bit of exasperation. "We haven't even gotten to where we're eating yet."
"Where ya eating?" Pinkie asked.
"The Far Out Grill," I said. "That new restaurant that just opened up."
"The one where they cook all the food on the table," Cloud added helpfully.
Pinkie's face lit up. "Ooo, I love that place!" She leaned in to whisper loudly to us. "I know the owner, so maybe I can twist their leg so you get some sorta discount."
"You don't have to," I said. "I'm sure between the two of us we won't have a problem paying, and I wouldn't want to trouble you."
"But I wanna!" Pinkie picked her lip out in a pout.
Knowing how this conversation was going to end one way or another, I relented. "I guess it would be okay if you really want to."
"I won't say no to saving money," Cloud said.
Pinkie raised her leg in a salute. "Then it's a done deal! Oh! Before I forget!" She pulled out pair of little paper bags from—somewhere behind her—and offered them to us. "Your date goodie bags!"
"Date ... goodie bag?" I looked to Cloud, hoping she would have a better idea what was going on.
Cloud's only reply was a stoic shrug. She had probably already put this whole incident into the ‘Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie’ category. That was probably the safer way to go, now that I thought about it. "Just go with it."
"Take a peek!" Pinkie grinned eagerly as we took our bags.
Inside the bag was what I could best describe as a date assistant package. There was an assortment of mints, cards with conversation starters on them, some emergency makeup and perfume, and some love themed candies. Though by far the most embarrassing thing in the bag was ... protection. Admittedly, the bag had just about everything you could want to aid in a date. Even if I had no intention of using at least one of the items inside. I did have to wonder how Pinkie had managed to set something like this up so quickly, or did she just keep a few bags like this around? This line of questioning reminded me that it was probably for the best not think too hard about it.
"Um." I gave Pinkie the best smile I could muster considering the awkward contents of the bag. "Thanks, Pinkie. I can see you put a lot of work into these."
Pinkie let out a squeal of delight and wrapped me up with a crushing hug. My friend rarely did anything by half measures.
Cloud nodded. "I appreciate the thought, Pinkie."
I hugged her back as best I could while being very slowly crushed to death. "Thanks. It's good to know you care."
Cloud gave Pinkie a playful pout. "So where's my hug?"
Pinkie response was to wrap Cloud in another rib-cracking hug. Cloud could be so shameless with her flirting.
After finishing giving our ribcages a stress test, Pinkie began pushing the two of us along. I couldn’t help but notice when Pinkie took the opportunity to cop a feel on Cloud. “Honk honk, time to go!” Of course I didn’t feel jealous about that. I knew what Cloud was like, and wouldn’t be so petty as to get hung up over my date getting felt up by another pony.
Cloud playfully swatted that hoof away. “Now now, Pinkie. I’m on a date.”
“Okey dokey lokey, see you later!” Pinkie said as she let us go. "Now go! Go and have the best date ever!" As we walked away she pulled out a handkerchief when we started moving along and blew into it. "My Twilight's all grown up," she said while wiping a tear from one of her eyes.
When we got further down the street, I said to Cloud, “That's Pinkie for you.” Though I would have thought my friend would have needed to go ahead of us to get us a deal at the restaurant, but logic wasn’t exactly something that could be applied to her.
Cloud shook her head and chuckled. “Rainbow's right. She's so ... random.”
“Random is the word for it.” I levitated my bag to my back and tried to put some of its contents out of my mind. “But let’s go eat. No sense delaying until the restaurant closes.”
Once there we headed inside and got a look at the interior. The restaurant had half a dozen flat metal cooking surfaces, each surrounded by a counter to give ponies room to eat and cushions to sit on.
Cloud sat down on one of the cushions. “I always enjoy them.”
“Mhm.” I sat next to her as a chef made his way to our table. “I wouldn't mind some good stir fry.”
“I always love it,” Cloud said. “Glad this was a good pick for both of us.”
The two of us made our orders and the chef began the process of cooking by squirting oil over the cooker and then spreading vegetables all over the surface. Soon the wonderful smells of the frying food came to my nostrils.
Cloud licked her lips. “And the best part is getting to smell the food as it cooks.”
I took in a long whiff of our cooking food. It was positively mouth-watering. I took in another whiff before turning to Cloud. “While we're waiting and enjoying the aroma, how have you been doing since Tornado Day wrapped up?”
“Pretty good.” Cloud took a quick sip of her drink. “It's nice to have all of that over and done with. I’m happy it turned out alright, but that was way more stress than I like to have for my job.”
“No kidding.” It had certainly been a lot more drama than I had planned for what should have been a relatively straightforward project. “How is Blossomforth feeling, by the way? Seems like half the pegasi in town have caught the feather flu.” Blossomforth coming down with the feather flu had certainly come at an inopportune time for Tornado Day preparations. Not that anypony had a say in how inconvenient it was. At least Cloud had taken to making sure Blossomforth was being cared for.
“She's slowly shaking it off.” Cloud made a helpless shrug. “Just takes time; the feather flu really kicks your plot. I always get the shot to not catch it.”
“I'll take your word on that,” I said. “Unicorns don't usually show any symptoms for feather flu, considering unicorns and earth ponies are only carriers of the disease. There are a couple of diseases that affect only unicorns, but their symptoms are different, naturally.”
Cloud nodded. “Yeah, horn rot and such.”
I shivered. “That one isn't a joke. I don’t even want to think about catching horn rot.”
Sensing my uneasiness, Cloud switched topics. “So, food. It's real tasty.”
“It is our bodies' way to tell us whether something is likely edible or not,” I said, welcoming the change of topic. I pointed to the bowls the chef was filling with food and passing our way. “And this looks extremely edible.”
Cloud rubbed her hooves together, her tongue running across her lips. “Oh, it's way beyond just edible. It's...” She trailed off as her head turned to look at something.
“It's what?” I followed where Cloud was looking and saw what had caught her attention.
Fluttershy stepped over to us. “Hello, Twilight. What are you...” She clammed up when she spotted Cloud.
I admit, I was getting really tired of playing this awkwardness game between Fluttershy and Cloud. It didn’t help that the two of them refused to talk about what happened between them, and to let me try and help. That just put me into an infernally frustrating position that I didn’t like being in.
Still, Fluttershy was my friend, and the fact she had accidently interrupted my date and was currently being ogled by my date didn’t mean I should be rude. “Um, hey, Fluttershy. Surprising to see you here. You checking out the new restaurant, too?”
“Oh! Um...” Fluttershy shuffled in place, looking like she wanted to be anyplace else right at that moment. “I ... I was just passing by, and then I saw you, and ... never mind.”
“No! I mean...” It was a struggle what to think as I felt conflicted emotions. I didn’t want to tell Fluttershy to go away, but this was my first date ever. It was natural to not want to have your date constantly interrupted by what probably counted as old flames, right? That’s a perfectly rational though, surely. “It's nice to see you! Really, it was a welcome surprise. It wasn’t something I planned on happening during my first date ever. Especially when it was a date with Cloud.”
“Y-you're dating?” Fluttershy hid behind her mane and backed up a couple steps. “Er...” Her next words came out as a rushed babble. “But you're obviously in the middle of something and I'd hate to interrupt.”
“You're not hurting anything really.” I gave Cloud a look, though to my annoyance she wasn’t even glancing in my direction. “Isn't that right, Cloud?”
“Yeah, it's totally fine,” Cloud said with a distant voice.
I found my teeth to be grinding and stopped myself. “We're just on a casual date, is all. You don't get good at something without practice, right? Though we've been bumping into friends ever since we started. It's a small town, after all. But it can get a little bit annoying. But only a little bit. Especially when I see a good friend like you.”
“I'm really sorry for interrupting.” Fluttershy glanced towards the exit. “I ... I should go, then.”
“If you're sure,” I said, sounding more irritated than I intended.
“Oh, yes.” Fluttershy turned to go. “Sorry.”
“Okay then, nice seeing you, Fluttershy.” A pang of guilt washed over me as I watched her go. That was strange, considering I didn’t feel like I had done anything wrong. So why did I suddenly feel like I had kicked a puppy as Fluttershy slunk away.
Cloud frowned as Fluttershy all but fled out the door. “That was awkward.”
“More than a bit.” I sighed and grumbled, “Is it always like that between you two?”
A wisp of a smile formed on Cloud’s features. “We've been better lately. We had a talk and resolved some old stuff. It was really nice.” Her smile became a pleased, almost dreamy one that I couldn’t quite read.
“That's good to hear,” I hedged, not feeling quite comfortable where this might be leading. It didn’t seem likely Fluttershy and Cloud would have a thing again based on how awkward they had been around one another just now, but it wasn’t exactly impossible, either. Especially with how ... persuasive Cloud could be. “I've found talking usually helps solve most issues.”
“Yeah.” Cloud sighed longingly. “Just not a cure-all.” She put some of her food into her mouth in an absent-minded manner.
“If you want, I'd be more than happy to help,” I said, my food nearly forgotten. “I'm sure it would make for a great friendship report.”
There was a long pause before Cloud spoke carefully. “You like those, don't you?”
I nodded, not sure why Cloud was acting to hesitantly. “Mhm, I try and write the princess one at least once a week when I can.”
“Sounds fun. Not just anypony gets to write letters to the princess.” Cloud munched on some more of her food, reminding me that my own bowl hadn’t been touched yet. “So ... that's Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy so far.”
I nodded while I dug into my own food. “Just need to run into Rainbow Dash to round out the gang. At least if you count the fact that I talked to Rarity about my date earlier today.”
“That probably counts then,” Cloud agreed.
I shrugged. “Not that I would mind seeing one of my friends again. Um, it hasn't been a problem, has it?”
Cloud shook her head. “Nah, I kinda expected it. Small town, remember?”
“I think it has come up once or twice.” I took a quick sip of water to wash down my food as I thought about what to talk about next. “So, how is the weather team after Tornado Day?”
Cloud smiles. “Well, now that the rush is over...”
After we were done with dinner, the two of us paid for our food and started a walk around town. Or at least we didn’t seem to be going in any specific direction. Maybe that was the idea, I wasn’t really sure, considering I was just going along with where Cloud was taking me.
“So, this date has been going pretty well,” I said. “It could be going a lot worse, for sure.”
“Much, much worse.” She gave me a grin. “I'm having fun. You?”
“I'm enjoying it,” I said. “It wasn't quite what I expected, but it has pretty much been like hanging out with one of my friends.”
“The fact that your friends keep showing up has that effect.” Cloud flashed me a smile. “It happens that way sometimes. Even in a big city like Canterlot, I could run into ponies I knew. Especially ponies from the clan considering there are so many of us.”
I chuckled. “I can imagine. Though this hasn't exactly been the most romantic evening imaginable, but I'm alright with that.”
“Well, I don't wanna turn on the charm full force too soon.” She waved vaguely. “I wanted you to be comfortable this date, and we can always do the more romantic stuff some other time. It struck me as more important that your first date be a good experience.”
“I can understand that,” I said. “If I was too ambitious then this whole date could backfire.”
“Exactly.” Cloud rubbed her chin. “Though you should get something nice and romantic for your first date.” Her ears perked. “I have just the idea. You mind having me take you someplace a little bit outside of town?”
I nodded. “That sounds fine with me. Where to?”
Cloud gave me that confident grin of hers. “That’s a bit of a surprise. But don’t worry, it’s a nice one, promise.”
“Alright then. Lead the way.” I followed Cloud’s lead as she led me to the outskirts of Ponyville.
On the way Cloud lifted a wing, inviting me to lean against her. After considering it for a moment, I shrugged and maneuvered my way under the offered wing. Cloud wrapped it around me and gave me a comforting squeeze. Admittedly, it felt really cozy as the two of us walked down a path leading to the lake near Ponyville.
“So.” Cloud stopped near the shore of the lake. “Want to sit here for a bit and look at the stars?” She smiled. “That strikes me as a nice romantic note to end on, right?”
I nodded. “It is an activity some of my books recommended. So sure.”
“Glad you like it.” Cloud gently lowered the two of us to sit and we stared up at the stars.
“This is pretty nice.” I leaned up against Cloud to rest my weight against her. “Us, alone, under the stars.”
“Yeah, it is.” She leaned back and shifted her wing to better cover me.
“So, do you know all the constellations?” I asked.
Cloud shook her head. “Not all of them, no.”
“I could give you a lesson on them if you like.” I smiled at her. “The history of how they all got their names is really interesting, actually.”
Cloud Kicker returned my smile. “I'd like that, yeah.”
I really wish there was a book that helped explain what I had come to to talk to Ditzy Doo about. Unfortunately, neither the library or Ponyville's bookstore had any books that dealt with the issue at hoof. It seemed that the subject of telling some mare you were only casual friends with that you believed your older brother was the father of her child wasn't a common enough topic to warrant its own bookshelf. For one of the few times in my life, books had failed me.
Shame I couldn't really find a justification for delaying telling Ditzy who Dinky's father was. Not when I had just about as good an opportunity as I was going to get to tell her, what with Sparkler and Dinky still in Canterlot. Once they had come back it was going to be much harder to meet Ditzy without the risk of one of her kids overhearing us. It wasn't hard for me to imagine that Ditzy would want to tell Dinky under very controlled circumstances who her sire was, and that time wasn't going to be when she was still digesting the news. So that meant that now was the time to tell her, even if this was one of the last conversations I wanted to have.
Taking one last moment to steel my resolve, I knocked on the nice, thick, reinforced front door of Ditzy's home.
"It's open!" I heard from inside. It always struck me as a bit odd to just enter somepony's home without the owner there to actually show you in, but it seemed to be a common enough custom in Ponyville. Maybe that was just one of those differences between Canterlot and Ponyville.
Still, I entered. "Ditzy?" I called out, not seeing anypony.
Ditzy poked her head through the entrance to the kitchen and gave me one of her bubbly smiles. "Hey, Twilight! Come on in! I was just cooking."
I closed the door behind me and made my way to the kitchen. Ditzy was wearing an apron stained with food, and it looked like she had managed to get some batter into her mane. The kitchen was as messy as its cook, and there was a stench of burning that was only barely being covered up by the aroma of muffins coming out of the oven.
"How are you doing?" I asked, trying to sound natural despite what I had come here to talk about.
"Oh, alright." She opened the oven and pulled out some muffins. The fresh wave of baked goods met my nose, and I felt my mouth water. "How about you?"
"I'm doing alright." Not wanting to risk me procrastinating what had brought me here, I dived into the issue at hoof. "Though there was something I wanted to talk to you about—in private, that is."
Ditzy's ears perked. "Okay, um..." She hastily put in another batch of muffins and then played with the temperature. "Alright, I've got an hour on that batch." She led the way to the living room and sat on the couch, while I settled onto a cushion opposite her. "What's going on?"
I took in a long breath before I spoke. "I've found out something that's probably really important to you." I found myself wringing my hooves and made myself stop. "Um, I think I might know who Dinky's father is."
There was a long, pregnant silence between us as we stared at one another. Ditzy's mouth worked for a few seconds before she actually asked, "Beg pardon?"
I took another calming breath. I had charted out the most likely directions this conversation was likely to go and had answers ready for any possible question I could think of given the topic of the conversation. "Last time I was here, I used a spell comparing the DNA of a hair I found on a brush in the bathroom and one of my own. There was a match.”
Ditzy wrinkled her nose in a confused look. "Um ... Twilight, I'm pretty sure you weren't there that night. I mean—the one thing I remember about him was that he was a he. So unless you're keeping some really weird secrets from everypony, I'm pretty sure you aren't Dinky's sire."
"No! I mean, uh—” I applied my hoof to my face as I replayed what I had just said in my head. I could really bad with words sometimes. “I mean there was a close enough match for me to be related to Dinky, but not for me to be the sire.”
Ditzy bit her lip as she mulled that over. “Twilight, could you please ... what are you trying to tell me? Who do you think is my baby's father?”
“I think my big brother,” I said barely louder than a whisper. “His name is Shining Armor. He might be Dinky's father. After listening to your story, I realized that he was going to the same school as you were when Dinky was conceived, and he is a white stallion.”
Ditzy put a hoof over her mouth. “How do ... oh my goodness. Um...” She rubbed at her face. “How do you ...?”
“I admit, it was a pretty long shot it was him, but it kept bothering me and bothering me, and I just had to know for certain either way.” Thinking it might help, I cast an illusion spell to create a life-sized copy of my brother. “This is what he looks like.” I sighed. “Sorry, I know this is a lot to dump on you. I've been working out how best to tell you, but...”
She stared at the image for a long time. Her eyes then widened and she let out a gasp of recognition.
My ears fell as the implications of that reaction took hold. “He looks familiar?”
Ditzy made a small nod, her skin going pale. “I ... oh. I never thought I'd ... I...” She leaned back against the couch, words failing her.
“It's ... yeah.” So there it was, most likely Shiny was Dinky’s father. At least as long as Ditzy’s memory wasn’t completely faulty on this.
“How did you ... I mean, how sure are you?” Ditzy asked.
“Fairly,” I said, fighting against the queasiness rolling in my stomach. “I only got to check with a hair. To be absolutely sure, I would have to use the spell with Dinky.”
“It's ... oh my goodness.” Ditzy pinched herself. I didn’t blame her for making sure this wasn’t a dream. I half-expected I would be waking up and finding out this was just the result of eating something that didn't agree with me at any moment. “I never thought I'd .... oh my goodness.”
“You're telling me,” I said with a sigh. “I never imagined a scenario like this. It’s so surreal.”
“You’re telling me,” Ditzy said, echoing my own words. She shook out her head. “I mean, I always wanted to know, just ... well, just because, but I never thought I would. It has been so long since I’ve had Dinky, that...” She suddenly stood up and trotted to the kitchen. Before I could ask her what she was doing, she pulled out an expensive-looking bottle of wine and a couple of glasses, then returned to the living room and promptly filled the glasses. “Sorry, I normally don’t drink, but I really need something to steady my nerves right now. This is just too much.”
“I completely understand, trust me.” I rubbed my foreleg, feeling decidedly uncomfortable. “I can understand why you would want to know. Why I came to you about this instead of … I don't know, covering it up.”
“Thank you for that. Really, I—thank you.” She took a long swig of her wineglass and then refilled it. “This is huge for me. You could have gotten away without telling me, but you did the right thing, and that means so, so much to me.” She blinked a couple of times. “Oh my goodness, she's your niece.”
I smiled sheepishly. “It hasn’t quite sunk in for me yet. Normally there is an eleven month period where you get to adjust to this type of information, and most of my thinking has been on what to tell you and Shiny.”
“I can understand that.” Ditzy sipped at her wineglass more conservatively than at first. “I'm used to her being a part of my life. Sort of a necessity, given, but you're not.”
“No.” I looked down at the floor, the sense of shame that had been building up in me now becoming too much. “I've been an aunt all this time, and I didn't even know about it. All those moments I missed out on. Birthdays, hearing her when she first started to talk, all of that.”
Ditzy got up and trotted over to me. She sat down and wrapped a reassuring wing around me. “Hey, I don’t blame you. I can see how much this is tearing you up, but you don’t need to beat yourself up over it. Really.”
I sniffed and rubbed at one of my eyes. “I guess, but now it's out there. I’ve said the most important thing I needed to say.”
“I guess so, yeah.” She gave me a comforting squeeze with her wing. “Are you okay?”
“I haven't had a panic attack ... over the last twenty-four hours,” I said weakly, trying to add some kind of levity to the conversation. “So I guess I’m holding up.”
Ditzy made a weak snicker. “So is that why you spent half an hour in the bathroom?”
I sighed and nodded. “Maybe a little.”
“I think I can let it go this one time.” She gave me a playful nudge. “How exactly did you test it? I just want you to walk me through this so that I can understand it. It feels like I’m walking on quicksand here.”
I felt some relief over getting back to some familiar territory. Explaining how a spell worked was a far less troublesome topic than what we had been talking about. "The spell I was using detects how strong the blood relationship is between the target and everypony in the target area. The spell can be used in a number of ways, but one way to do it is for the target to glow if there is a link. The strength of the glow shows how closely related the two subjects are."
Ditzy hummed as she rubbed her chin. "So if I could get you more of Dinky's mane, you could do it again?"
"I could," I confirmed. "It isn't that hard to do."
"I'll be right back." Ditzy got up and trotted further into the house. I waited patiently until she returned with a manebrush with a set of golden hairs. "Okay, could you show me, please? I need to see it for myself."
I couldn't blame her for wanting to see the spellwork. It would probably seem more real to her seeing the spell in action than me merely telling her it I’d done it. "Right. It's pretty simple." I gently took the brush from her and then plucked out some of the golden hairs. "All I need to do is take these hairs, then include everything in the area to be checked for genetic similarities like so." I cast the spell while using the hairs as a focus. Both Ditzy and I took on a magenta glow, though Ditzy's glow was stronger than my own.
She looked herself over before returning her attention to me. "Okay, what am I looking at, exactly? Sorry, I don't know much about magic."
"The strength of the glow is relative to how much genetic material we have in common with Dinky's hairs," I said, repeating what I had told her before. While it could be annoying to have to repeat yourself, I couldn't blame her for being a bit frazzled. The little incident in Ditzy's bathroom was an embarrassing example of what this news had done to me. Besides, a calm rational explanation of the mechanics of a spell was making me feel better in its own way. "Since you're her mom, you have a strong connection, while as her ... aunt, I have a pretty strong link too. Now see what happens when I make you the focus of the spell."
I cast the spell on Ditzy this time, and only Dinky's hair glowed. Ditzy covered her mouth with a hoof, utterly speechless at the display.
"I'm not going too fast, am I?" I asked after the silence grew uncomfortably long. "I can explain everything again if you want me to, or answer any other questions you might have."
She shook her head. "No, that’s okay. I'm just trying to take this all in."
"Fair enough." I dropped the spell so that the glowing of the spell wouldn't be a distraction. "I know it took me a while to absorb it all."
"I..." Ditzy shook her head, this time out of disbelief. "I don't know what to say."
"You and me both." I took my wine glass and sipped at it while I gathered my thoughts. "I wrote a letter to my brother telling him that I wanted to talk to him, and asking when would be a good time for a visit."
Ditsy nodded. "And I need to figure out where to start telling Dinky about all of this. Sparkler too, for that matter." She pinched herself again, then moved to pinching her other leg, and then finally her cheek. "Ow. I should stop doing that. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be waking up now."
I couldn't help but chuckle. "If this was a dream, you probably would have woken up by now. Especially when you suspected that this might be a dream.”
Ditzy snorted. "Probably, yeah. Although there was the one time with the massive pony-eating muffin I ... um, well, never mind." She smiled sheepishly.
“Right, we better stay on task for now, and come up with what we're going to do next,” I said.
“Right, right.” Ditzy leaned her head back against the back of the couch and rubbed the sides of her head. “So, what comes next?”
“I'm figuring it would be best if I talked to Shiny about the situation before you get around to having you and Dinky meet him,” I said. “You know, to help keep this from becoming more of a drama-filled incident than it already is going to be.” Having Dinky run up to give him a hug while yelling ‘Daddy!’ was probably not the best way to tell him that he was a father. I could only imagine how hard this was going to be to explain to Dinky. No doubt she had always been curious about who her sire was. What kid wouldn't be under her circumstances? Of course, that underlined how important this was to make sure we got this right.
“That would give me some time to figure out what to say to Dinky, and when I should say it.” She cleared her throat. “I mean, I don't know what he has going on, but this would bring anything to a screeching halt.”
“That’s why I want to tell him in person instead of with a letter.” I was going to guess that telling somepony that they were a father in a letter was less than ideal. I may not be the most socially savvy pony alive, but I can guess the basics.
“Good idea.” Ditzy opened her mouth as though to say something, but then closed it. “Um ... well, never mind.”
“What?” I asked. “Not like we're keeping secrets at this juncture.”
Ditzy made a conceding nod. “She's going to want to meet him. Maybe not right away, but someday. Is-is that a good idea? He's—I mean, that's a hay of a big request.”
“I'm pretty sure he will once he knows he's a father.” Once he was done having a heart attack, panic attack, or whatever sort of attack he’s going to have when I tell him the truth. “He's a good guy, trust me.”
Ditzy gave me a small, hesitant smile. “He sounds like it, the way you talk about him.”
“He is Captain of the Royal Guard, and my BBBFF,” I said. “He’s one of the ponies I trust the most in the whole world.”
“Captain of the—” Ditzy blinked in dumbfoundment before she covered her face with her hooves with a groan. “We’re going to have a lot of catching up to do.”
“Um, you okay, Derpy?” I was beginning to worry I might finally have dumped too much on the poor mare. It would look really bad if I ended up driving poor Ditzy into shock through too many major revelations, and raise all sorts of awkward questions about what exactly I had been doing with her.
Ditzy blinked a couple more times. “Yes! Sorry, yes.”
That decided upon, I decided to move onto one of the next points I wanted to bring up. “I'm sure my family can arrange to get you a bit more money to help raise Dinky, whatever happens. Even if—I don’t know. You and Shiny have difficulties due to everything.”
There was another long pause of silence as Ditzy shuffled in her seat. “That's very generous of you,” she said slowly.
As I worried might be an issue, Ditzy was probably reluctant to accept financial help after all this time. There were at least a couple reasons I could think of for that. “I know it couldn't have been easy to raise her alone, but I would like to make sure the two of you—well, three counting Sparkler—are alright financially at least.”
“Well, I had a lot of help,” She said modestly. “Rainbow, Cloud Kicker, Fluttershy, my brother, my parents...” Her gaze shifted to staring at the floor.
I frowned. “Did I say something wrong?”
“No! No, you're very, very sweet. It's...” Ditzy fiddled with her hooves before continuing. “I know I should say yes, and thank you for it. I just—I don't know how to put this.”
My ears wilted. “You don't want the money? Because of ... issues,” I ended lamely.
Ditzy’s eyes widened. “No! Yes! I—” She sighed as she recollected herself. “It's not about money. I'll accept whatever's fair, but I don't want it to be about money, or make it look like I’m trying to take advantage of the situation by squeezing money out of your family.”
“I think I can understand that,” I said. “Some ponies would take advantage of this type of situation now that I think about it.” Certainly there was a history of mares whom had been through whatever circumstances found themselves with the foal of an important noblepony and had proceeded to ride it for all it was worth.
Ditzy nodded. “And I really, really don't want to seem like I'm doing that.”
“We'll work something out once we've settled the more immediate issues,” I assured her.
“I want the best for my children, but I also only want what's fair,” Ditzy said firmly. “You've already given me so much, even before all of this. Your time and talent and patience for Dinky and her lessons... It means a lot to me.”
I smiled as the memories of Dinky’s lessons came back. “She has been a really good student.”
Ditzy smiled back. “She's had a very generous teacher. Really, I should be paying you for that. Instead...” She chuckled self-consciously.
I waved dismissively. “I don't need the money, trust me.” I suppressed a twinge of guilt over having led such a relatively carefree life in comparison to Ditzy. Sure, I had all my reports and assignments to do, and defeating evil now and again wasn’t exactly a vacation either, but those things were very different from raising two kids while working a full-time job every week. It wasn’t a big deal if I really wanted to take an afternoon off to hang out with my friends or read a good book. You couldn’t drop everything when you had kids to take care of. “And besides, I like teaching her.”
A maternal smile worked its way onto Ditzy’s lips. “And she loves learning from you, she really does. Sparkler, too. And I guess it's a little redundant now, but you're always welcome to come over and see her.”
I chuckled. “Thanks, that ... means a lot to me.”
“Of course.” She echoed my own chuckle. “Still, the door's always open.”
“I'll keep that in mind,” I said. “So, is there anything else we need to talk about? I think that covers all the big stuff I wanted to talk about.”
“Probably lots and lots of details, but those can come later.” Ditzy tilted her head as she tapped at her chin. “I guess there's one thing for right now.” Her smile widened as she pointed at some photo albums sitting on a nearby bookshelf. “Would you like to see what Dinky was like when I brought her home?”
I smiled as Ditzy made her gesture of kindness. “I think I would.”
Ditzy got up to retrieve the photo albums. “She was the most adorable little thing as a foal. Oh! And you should see the photos we took from her first birthday. I think there was more cake on her than ever got into her tummy.”
I relaxed as the tension of our talk subsided. At least that was one huge step to fixing this big mess. As long as no other big incidents came up over the next couple of weeks, I might even be able to get a firm handle on this problem.
“My brother is getting married in a few days!” I screamed at Ditzy as she tried to deliver the mail to the library.
Ditzy blinked in surprise and took a couple steps away from the library door. She nearly tripped on her mailbag and hopped a couple of steps to keep from falling over. “Um ... good morning to you too?”
“Sorry! Sorry!” I stepped away from the door, and shook my head. “I just found out today. Today! And the wedding is just a few days away!” I went about pacing around the library, my steam getting built up with every step. “You would think that as his little sister, my big brother would go through the trouble of telling me that he's getting married! Or even dating for that matter! Or that I'm going to have to do all the planning! He didn’t even have the decency to tell me himself, or even with a letter! No, he let a third party in Princess Celestia give me the news! I wouldn’t even have known there was a wedding and that I was organizing it if not for her! Oh, did I mention that I’m going to have to all of the said planning at the last minute! You’re supposed to get months to plan a wedding! Not three bucking days! Especially not for a royal wedding! This would feel like a joke if this wasn’t actually happening!”
Ditzy’s mouth was agape as she watched me pace the room. “Why don't you sit down? Um...” She hastily stepped inside and closed the door behind her.
“Sit down!?” I stepped over to her and pressed my muzzle to hers. “I have a train to catch, a wedding to plan, and an explanation to get from my big doofus of a brother who can't be bothered to tell me who this Mi Amore Cadenza he’s marrying is!”
“Twilight. Twilight!” Ditzy grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. “Start at the beginning. You’re talking a thousand words a minute, and I’m not getting anything you’re saying. So please take a nice, long breath and explain to me what’s going on.”
I did as she asked me to, and took in the nice, long breath to steady myself. Counting to ten first, I said, “I was just hanging out with my friends for a picnic when Spike came with a letter from Princess Celestia. It said that Shiny was getting married to some Princess Cadenza in a royal wedding. And it's in just a few days, but this is the first I've even heard of it.”
“Um. Wow.” Ditzy rubbed the back of her neck. “Congratulations?”
“I guess,” I grumbled. “It would feel a lot better if I at least knew who he was marrying, or had gotten any kind of real advanced warning. If not for Princess Celestia, I have to wonder if I wouldn’t have found out about the wedding until the day before.”
“I guess I can understand that,” Ditzy hedged.
“Shame that makes a whole bunch of other things more complicated.” I let out a sigh before meeting Ditzy’s eyes. “Now what am I going to do where you and Dinky are concerned? Should I tell him right before his own wedding that he's a father? That sounds like a terrible idea, but so does telling him afterwards. I don’t see a winning scenario here.”
Ditzy winced. “Um ... please don't? If he's getting married, now's really, really not the best time to say it. I don’t want to be known as a homewrecker, or for him to think I’m trying to take advantage of him by dragging Dinky out during a time like this.”
I frowned, a dozen thoughts battling to get my full attention. “But what about you and Dinky?”
Ditzy gave me a reassuring smile and wrapped a wing around my back. “You're so sweet. Thanks—really, thank you. But we've gone this long, and I think he'd understand if you put it off for a while. Maybe not forever—that's ... well...” She shuffled in place. “I just don't want to come out of the blue this close to that, you know? No sense ruining his wedding on top of everything else. This is going to be hard enough as is. He could easily think I'm attacking him or something, and his fiancee... yeah, I don't want to do that to her. No mare should have her wedding ruined like that.”
My shoulders slumped as I thought over her arguments. “Maybe you're right.”
“There's a time and a place for it, but now's not the time,” she stated simply.
I rubbed at my face as I tried to slow down my thoughts and grasp onto something more concrete. “So when is the time?”
“I don't know. I'm a little new to being a homewrecker.” After a second, she added, “Okay, that's not entirely true, strictly speaking, but...”
I shook my head. “That was never your intention. I understand.”
“Never in a million years,” Ditzy agreed. “Like I said last time: I want what's fair. But fair isn't ruining a marriage that hasn't even gotten started yet because of things that happened years ago.”
I groaned and nodded. “This is a mess.”
She gave me a sheepish smile. “Sorry.” The library was quiet for a long moment. I think both of us were thinking of how to proceed. Though now that I thought about it, I had kind of brought Ditzy’s mail rounds to a screeching halt. Oops.
“Maybe ... maybe we should meet your parents sometime?” Ditzy suggested. “After the wedding,” she added hastily. “So it doesn't ruin it for them, but I think if we both talked to them, we could work something out?”
It took me a few seconds to really comprehend what she might be suggesting. “You mean secretly? Without my brother knowing?”
“For now, at least.” Ditzy lifted her wing off of me so that she could face me. “I hate to go behind his back, but it wouldn't be fair to his fiancee if he knew about it now—even privately. This isn’t something you just dump on somepony. Especially during a time like this.”
“Maybe,” I allowed reluctantly. “But I don't like the idea of hiding this.”
“Me neither, but...” Ditzy searched for the right thing to say. “Well, do you have a better way of going about it?”
I sighed and shook my head. “I’m afraid I don’t at the moment.”
“That's why I think we should talk to your parents—to get a better feel for that. Between you and them we should be able to get a pretty good sounding board on what to do next.”
I hesitantly nodded to the suggestion. “That might not be a bad idea. At the very least you will get some money to help you out.”
Ditzy rubbed back of her head. “That's fair. I'll trust you to do the right thing. Maybe one day, Dinky could meet them too.”
I gave her an encouraging smile. “I'm sure they would like to. Especially when Shiny and I are getting into that stage of life where the parents ask when they’re going to get their grandfoals.”
Ditzy chuckled and returned with her own small smile. “She'd love them. Hay, she loves you, and as far as she knows, you're still just her tutor.” She rubbed her chin as she thought. “A few months from now, maybe? Three, six—something like that? That would give us a little more time to plan, and think about just what the hay we'd say to them.”
“Maybe a couple months for my parents,” I allowed. I didn’t want to procrastinate on this forever, which was something I worried Ditzy might be inclined to do. Not to mention keeping this secret bottled up inside of me was likely to make me explode at some point.
Ditzy nodded. “We'll keep in touch, then. Dinky still loves learning from you, so it's not like we couldn't anyway, right?”
“We can make it work, I'm sure,” I agreed.
Ditzy hugged me and I returned it. “It'll be fine, okay?”
“I guess,” I said, not feeling as sure as I was trying to make myself sound. “It's just that it has been crazy as of late.”
Ditzy gave me one of her bubbly smiles. “As opposed to Ponyville on any other day .... how?”
I chuckled. “True.”
Ditzy dug into her saddlebags and pulled out a muffin that she offered to me. “Muffin? I find they always help after a rough day. It's banana-nut. Dinky's favorite.” Her mouth spread into a maternal smile. “She made it.”
I smiled and took the muffin. “A muffin sounds great.” I bit into it and hummed with enjoyment. “Mmm, this is good.”
“See? A little better already,” Ditzy said.
“It's hard not to feel a bit better after eating something so delicious,” I point out, taking another bite.
“The trick's to mix white and brown sugar, half and half. And to add a little love.”
“I wasn't aware love was an ingredient,” I said with a grin.
Ditzy snicked. “No, it's just a nice idea.”
Once I was done eating the muffin, I hugged her. “Thanks, for everything.”
“Any time, Twilight.” She squeezed as she returned my hug. “Or should that be Aunt Twilight?”
I smiled as my heart felt lighter. “Aunt Twilight works.”
Organizing my brother’s wedding was becoming one of the least pleasant tasks I had done in my entire life. The months usually leading up to such an important event were infamous for the copious amount of mane-tearing stress it caused. So naturally, somepony had the brilliant idea of compressing all of that pain and anguish into a few days of chaotic clusterbuck.
On top of that, this was a royal wedding, so the expectations were much, much higher. That meant certain ponies had to be invited, specific decorations set up, entertainment arranged, festivities set up for the entire city to mark the unique occasion, and so forth. This was the first royal wedding that had taken place in a long time, and ponies were looking forward to it. For all intents and purposes, I might as well have been running a holiday for all of Canterlot.
Then there was the not-so-minor issue of the bride and groom. Shiny was effectively a non-factor in the preparations for his wedding. He was so busy with being Captain of the Guard that he hadn't had time to give me any kind of direction for his wedding. From the way he and the rest of the Royal Guard were acting, it was as though Canterlot was under siege. Not that I had been given anything but the runaround about why the Guard was so edgy; it definitely wasn’t for the wedding. No, instead all I had been given was a pat on the head by my brother as he dumped everything for the wedding on me and his fiancée.
Speaking of whom, let's not forget about Cadance—or Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, as she liked to be called now. While Shiny at least couldn’t help due to his work, Cadance was just plain unhelpful. My friends and I had been working hard to make this wedding happen, but no matter what we did, no matter how hard we tried, the bride-to-be hated everything we did. She didn't like the design of the cake, she didn't approve of the entertainment for the reception, she hated all the food that was going to be served, she wanted her dress to be redesigned—the list just went on and on from there. Worse still, in addition to nothing pleasing Her Royal Pain in the Plot, she never even gave me or anypony else an idea of what would make her happy. Nothing beyond an “It needs to be perfect,” or something along those extremely vague and unhelpful lines.
The final straw for the day came when Cadance told me in the most condescending manner possible that the flower arrangements were unacceptable. Not that she would tell me what was acceptable—only it needed to be perfect, as befitted a royal wedding.
If not for the facts that this was my brother’s wedding and that Princess Celestia had personally asked me to plan everything, then I might very well have told Cadance where she could shove her floral arrangements. I might very well have gone crazy already if my friends hadn’t come along.
By the time I entered the Kicker Compound, I was in a pretty foul mood. I was yanked out of my ruminations when something buzzed less than a foot over me. Instinctively jerking my head down, I craned my neck to see what had nearly hit me.
Rainbow Dash was hovering over me, a mischievous grin creasing her lips. No doubt she was quite proud of herself for having given me a fright by nearly giving me a hair cut with how close she had buzzed me. “Hey. Twi. What's up?” she asked, badly pretending that she hadn't done anything.
I put aside the issues with Princess Stuffiness and gave Rainbow the best smile that I could. No sense biting her head off for a harmless prank she did all the time in Ponyville. “I’m just making sure you're doing alright on your end for the wedding day preparations.”
“Yeah, sure, no prob.” She waved off any worries there might be. “I could do a sonic rainboom in my sleep.”
“Good, because it's really important.” I pulled out my wedding preparations checklist for the day and checked one of the boxes. In truth, I didn't have any worries where Rainbow’s performance was concerned. In a rational and sane world, the only realistic thing that could go wrong is that Rainbow would suffer a last-minute injury. Shame the world was anything but rational and sane where Cadance was concerned. I wouldn't have been the least bit surprised if she had come by and told Rainbow she hated her rainboom, and then demanded that I arrange a last-minute show by the Wonderbolts, or that the rainboom should be done in different colors.
“Yeah, 'course. Any other stuff, or…?” Rainbow pointedly spread out her wings. “Don't wanna stop too long, or I'll lose my rhythm.”
I was about to reply when a Kicker Compound guard stepped up to us. “You didn't crash did you, Rainbow?” The familiar-sounding mare gave Rainbow a friendly smile.
“Whatever you say, Thunderbutt.” The mare paused for a brief moment before shifting her grin to me. “Hey, fancy meeting you here, Duchess.”
I blinked as her identity finally dawned on me. “Cloud? Is that you? I almost didn't recognize you in your armor.”
Cloud Kicker raised a leg and spread out her wings, wing blades gleaming as she struck a pose. “Not used to seeing me looking this good, Duchess?”
“It’s something different alright.” It took a moment for me to regain my mental balance. It had been a few weeks since I last saw Cloud, and from Rainbow had told me, they hadn’t been the best weeks for her. “So, is this where you've been? It has been a while since I last saw you.”
“Yeah, been spending some time with the family since...” She trailed off and her gaze fell to the ground. Picking up on her friend’s discomfort, Rainbow wrapped a supportive wing over her back.
I internally grimaced. I had heard that Cloud’s mom had died, though the details surrounding that were a mystery to me. Rainbow had said she had been sworn to secrecy on the matter by Princess Celestia herself—she had even sworn me to secrecy to keep the fact she had told me that much a secret. That had only piqued my curiosity, but there wasn’t really any way for me to find out what had happened unless I wanted to ask the princess directly. While Princess Celestia is wonderful and perfect, getting a straight answer out of her is ... problematic.
Feeling like I needed to say something, I turned back to Cloud. “Um, you doing okay? I’m sorry to hear what happened. I could only imagine what you're going through.”
Cloud grunted and nodded, her demeanor making it clear she didn’t want to talk about it.
Rainbow bit her lip and I could see the struggle in her face. She was probably flailing like I was over what to say to a pony who had lost her mom. This wasn’t something I had much experience with, and I’m not sure experience would really help with something like this anyway. Maybe there was a book that gave good advice for helping a friend who had lost one of their parents, but I hadn’t read it. That was a bit of a grim subject to read about without at least some prompting.
“I'd be willing to help if you need anything ,” I offered. “Um, as long as it doesn't get too much in the way of the wedding preparations I'm doing anyways.” I looked at my to-do list and winced, now feeling pretty foolish. I was talking to a pony that had just lost her mom, and I was putting that behind a wedding I was planning. Shame I did need to prioritize the wedding, otherwise nothing would get done. Not that it felt like anything was getting done, thanks to Cadance.
In any event, I put the list away to concentrate on Cloud. “Sorry, don't mean to be selfish or ... I don't know where I'm going with this now. It's probably time I put my hoof in my mouth now.”
That at least got a chuckle out of Cloud. “Nice to see you're the same as ever. And don't worry, I'm ... well, I wouldn't say I'm fine, but I'm holding up. Thanks for the offer, though.”
“At least that, then. So...” I looked her up and down. “Why are you wearing the armor?”
“I'm helping out with some clan stuff as long as I'm here,” Cloud said with a shrug. “It’s normal to do what you can to help out with the clan when you’re at the compound.”
“It's probably a bit different than cloudpushing,” I remarked. It was probably a good thing that one of her best friends was also her boss on the weather team. Otherwise she might have been putting her job at risk being away from it for so long, even with bereavement leave. Though part of me had to wonder if she would be coming back. The death of a parent could cause a pony to rethink what they were doing with their life.
“A bit, yeah, but I'm managing,” Cloud said. “I did go to college for this kinda thing.”
“So when were you planning on coming back to Ponyville?” I asked, trying to get a feel for what she was thinking.
“Don't really have a firm timeline yet,” Cloud said, her tone lacking her usual energy.
Rainbow stepped in to cover for her friend. “She can take her time. She just has stuff to work out, is all.”
“I'm sure Cloud knows what she's doing.” I gave her the best supportive smile I could. While Cloud and I had a rocky relationship starting out, we had gotten along much better lately. The idea she might not come back to Ponyville was ... disquieting.
Cloud returned her own slight smile. “I'd like to think so.”
“I wish I could say the same.” I let out a huff as I reviewed my checklist. “Life has been a bit hectic for me the last few days.”
“Yeah?” Cloud asked. “Wanna talk about it?”
Rainbow snorted and took off into the air. “If you guys are gonna talk about feelings and emotions and how you feel about your emotions, I think I'll get back to practice.”
I rolled my eyes at the very Rainbow response to our ‘mushy stuff’ conversation. “Go ahead if you want to, Rainbow. Don't let me stop you from your practice. Just keep doing what you're doing and I'm sure we’ll be fine for the wedding.”
“Yeah, gotta ration my ‘being awesome’ time.” Rainbow moved to take off, but she stopped herself short. “Um ... you guys need anything, just lemme know, alright?”
We told her we would, and she took off at top speed. Cloud chuckled as she disappeared from view. “Good old Dash.”
I couldn't help but smile at the prismatic trail Rainbow left in her wake. “She is most definitely her. Figures she didn't want to stick around for a conversation that didn't involve her or something she liked to talk about.”
“Nah.” Cloud shook her head. “It's more that she gets twitchy about emotional stuff. Doesn't want to seem sappy or un-cool.” She settled her attention on me as she switched topics. “Anyway, what's been bothering you?”
I let out a sigh as the events of the last few days pressed down on me. “How about doing all the planning for a wedding with a few days' notice, and all for a mare that I don't approve of marrying my brother?”
That caused Cloud to wince. “Well, that doesn't sound like much fun.”
“I can confidently put it in the anti-fun category,” I grumbled. “You would think my brother would at least have gone through the trouble of telling me he had a fiancée, or at least a fillyfriend. You know, before asking me to plan his wedding.”
To my surprise, she actually chuckled. “Somepony's feeling a bit possessive, I see.”
I quirked an eyebrow. “Possessive? I'm not being possessive.”
“Just saying, you keep stressing that he's ‘my’ brother.”
“He is my brother,” I pointed out. I wasn’t being possessive of my BBBFF. That was ridiculous. Naturally, I only wanted what was best for him. That’s why he should have consulted me before making such a big, massive, life-changing decision like who he was going to marry. If he had, then we probably wouldn’t have been in this situation to start with.
“Doesn't mean you get to tell him who to marry.” After a moment, she amended, “Granted, asking you to plan the wedding on such short notice is a bit of a jerk move.”
“I'm a bit more upset about that, yes,” I said.
“Don't these things usually get planned months in advance?” she asked.
It was an effort for me to not crush my list. “You would think a royal wedding would get that level of preparation, but here I am, arranging what might be the most important social occasion of the year at the last minute, being treated like I'm some sort of organizational automaton.”
Discomfort played behind Cloud’s eyes, and she carefully wrapped a wing around me. “That doesn't sound very fair.”
I sighed as my shoulders slumped. “Yeah, but what am I supposed to do? Say no to helping with something this important? It is my big brother's wedding.”
“They're practically taking advantage of you,” Cloud pointed out.
“I didn't want to complain.” I looked down at the ground as the feeling of being trapped fell over me again. While helping with the wedding was becoming a nightmare, not helping seemed like an even worse idea in the long term. I didn't want to permanently damage the relationship with my brother and the rest of my family, not to mention disappoint the princess. I didn't even want to think about that.
“You can tell me how you feel about it all.” Cloud gave me a reassuring squeeze with her wing. “It's not complaining then. Just ... venting.”
I shook my head. “I wouldn't want to bother you with it. I mean after what you're going through...”
“Wanna know a secret?” Cloud asked. “Sometimes I like helping other ponies with their problems. As long as I'm busy helping you, I'm not thinking about what a mess my life is.”
I couldn't help but smile. “That's one way to look at it.” I took a long breath before going into what was bothering me. “I guess... It's frustrating. I had all of this dumped on me, and at the end of the day, I don't even like the bride. The mare's going to be my sister-in-law, and I barely feel like I know her anymore. Cadance ... she was my foalsitter when I was little, and she used to be great. I used to love spending time with her. But now...” I shook my head. “She's awful. She's mean, cold, condescending, and barely even acknowledges me. And that’s just me—that doesn’t even start with how mean she’s been to my friends. She's completely different from the pony I knew.”
Cloud frowned. “She did seem a bit wound up when she stopped by to check on the wedding preparations. Might just be a bridezilla thing, though.”
“Maybe, but I don't know,” I said. “The Cadance I knew wouldn't have let a wedding turn her into something awful.”
“Just saying, stress brings out the worst in ponies, and a wedding is really stressful.” She shrugged helplessly. “I don't know her, though. But if she was your foalsitter ... well, that was a long time ago. Ponies change.”
“It's looking like she's changed a lot,” I growled.
“Sorry to hear that.” Cloud gave me another supportive squeeze before continuing. “I hope it's just a wedding stress thing, and she settles down and starts being nice again once it all blows over.”
“I hope so.” My ears wilted to my head. “Not much I can do about it now, though. Shiny’s going to marry her and that’s the end of it.”
“Hm.”Cloud tapped her chin ponderingly, and then her ears perked. “You know what I think?” She snatched my list away from me and quickly tucked it into her crupper.
“C-Cloud! That's my list!” I protested. “There's a lot that I still need to get done yet!”
“I think you need to relax for a bit.” Cloud poked me on the nose as she grinned. “No more wedding planning, I'm taking you out on a date.” Before I could raise a proper protest, she placed a hoof over my mouth. “Besides, your work ought to be more efficient if you're not stressing out, right?”
I bit my lips out of annoyance. “That is statistically true...”
“Well then, wouldn't the most efficient course of action be to start relaxing right now instead of stressing and arguing over whether you can relax?”
I considered snatching my list back but held off for the moment. “It would be irresponsible of me to just drop the wedding preparations for something like a date, you know.”
“How long have you been working on it?” Cloud asked.
“Since I got on the train to Canterlot yesterday,” I admitted, despite knowing how that would sound to her and give her more ammunition to argue with.
“Aren't you past due for a break, then?”
I rubbed at my face, knowing where this line of questioning was going to end. “Maybe a little...”
“More than a little.” She poked me in the chest. “Now come on, or I'll...” Her face took on a contemplative look. “I'll track you down and flirt with you. In front of your brother. And Princess Celestia.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “You wouldn't dare.”
“We both know I would.” Cloud's grin lost none of its luster, despite the fact that my scathing glare could have stripped paint.
I sighed and nodded, no longer having the energy to fight her. The last few days had taken most of the fight out of me. “Fine, you win. You'll get your date.”
“Hey.” Cloud tipped my chin up so that we could look each other in the eye. “You know I'm just goofing around with you, right? If you really don't want to...”
“No, no, it's fine, really.” I rubbed my face as I realized how grouchy I must have sounded. “I think it's just that I didn't realize how much I had ground myself down over the last couple of days. It’s a bit hard to be bright and sunny when you’re getting rained on all day.”
“That’s what I figured,” Cloud said. “So let's relax, goof around, have a little fun.” She looked herself up and down. “Maybe I should freshen up and put on some date clothes first? Full armor and wingblades don't exactly say ‘relax and goof around.’”
“Probably not,” I said with a smile. “I better do the same. I could probably use a shower after running around Canterlot all day.” Hopefully my family wouldn't have too much of a problem with me having a date during the lead-up to the wedding.
“Where do you wanna meet up and when?” Cloud asked.
I considered that for a few moments. I had pretty much gotten all I had planned to get done for the day, or at least as much I could hope for. Not like I was going to help anypony by running myself into the ground changing things randomly that Cadance wouldn't approve of anyways. “How about in three hours? We could meet at my place or yours. I’m not picky.”
Cloud stroked at her chin as she thought. “Hm. Yours if you want me to pick you up for the whole date experience, mine if you're nervous about your brother or family finding out.”
“My place should be fine if it's not a problem.” I knew it was a bit awful of me, but part of me wouldn't have minded if Shiny found out that I was dating somepony, even if it was more of an experimental type of thing. It wasn’t as though Cloud and I were together or anything like that. Of course, it would be a little bit funny to see my BBBFF chase off Cloud. Well, I would be mad too for him running off my date, but I’m sure we would be able to laugh it off later.
“Sounds great,” Cloud said. “See you then.”
I smiled and nodded. “See you then.”
I returned to the manor to prepare for my date with Cloud. After a quick shower, I headed back to my room to finish fixing myself up. My mind was going over the possible things we could do for the date. Going out to eat was always a classic, though we’d already done that. Maybe we could go to the theater? The problem with that was I needed to get back home in time to get a full night’s sleep. It was one thing for me to go on a date during the leadup to a wedding, but another if I let the date actually interfere with the preparations.
Speaking of the wedding, I had thought of a few ways I might be able to speed things along, as well as some changes that might actually make Cadance happy. It seemed a remote possibility, but it could happen. Maybe I could have Pinkie escort her around? If anypony could put Cadance in a good mood (assuming she hadn't just turned into a horrible, awful pony who didn't deserve my big brother), it was Pinkie. It would probably be wise to give them time-consuming tasks for the day. That would give Cadance less room to cause me more trouble.
I returned to the planning board I had set up in my room, which by now was covered in notes about everything that needed to get done—timetables, mostly, and other bits of information I considered important. I didn't want to forget any of the ideas I had come up with over the last day, so I began marking off everything that we had gotten done. From there, I began making edits for things that hadn't gotten done and new things that had come up. One thing led to another and soon I was in the Organization Zone, my marker flying across the board.
Just because my brother hadn't bothered to tell me he was getting married and his bride was a stuck-up jerk didn't mean I wouldn't do the best job I could to give Shiny a good wedding.
“Twilight, you doing alright in here?”
I jerked and jumped at the sudden interruption. I spun around to face Mom, my heart feeling like it was trying to beat its way out of my chest. I hadn't noticed that she had walked into the doorway. It made me wonder how long she might have been watching me before she had finally spoken up. “I'm fine. Totally fine. Yup, totally and completely fine. Everything's perfectly okay. Just doing some work on the wedding. You know, the one I was given no warning about by my brother and am now expected to do all the last minute planning for?”
Mom gave me a disapproving frown and spoke in a tone that brought her full maternal authority to bear. “Twilight...”
My ears fell flat against my head. “Yes?”
Mom sat down on my bed and patted the spot next to her. “Maybe you should sit down for a minute, dear.”
I dutifully and automatically did as she instructed. “Yes, Mom.”
“Are you feeling okay?” She ran a hoof through my mane, which to my surprise had become a mess. I must really have been working myself to the bone during the day. “You're looking a bit stressed.”
“It's...” I stalled as I considered what to say. I could have lied or tried to reassure her, but I just didn't have the energy to take those options. Not that they were likely to work anyways. So instead, I went with the truth. “I'm trying to arrange an entire royal wedding in a hoofful of days.”
Mom sighed wearily. “Yes, that's a bit much even for you.” She wrapped a leg around my shoulders to draw close for a nuzzle. “How are you holding up?”
I bit my lip as I considered her question. “Well, I'm still massively annoyed that Shining never even mentioned he was dating Cadance until I got the wedding invitation. And then I was asked to organize the entire thing.” All the anger and frustration that had been building up within me over the last couple of days finally boiled over. “If he didn't need an organizer would he even have invited me to his wedding?! And then there's ‘Princess Mi Amore Cadenza’ acting like a complete stuck-up nag instead of the wonderful foalsitter I remember, but everypony just wants to make excuses for her or say it's not her fault she's acting so terrible! Because a wedding is an excuse to treat everypony so horribly!”
Mom blinked in surprise at my outburst. “Oh, Twilight.” She drew me into a tight embrace. “This has been hard on you, hasn't it?”
“A bit, yeah,” I said as I hugged her back. It felt good to have my mom hold me. It felt a little silly now that I was an adult, but I couldn’t deny it was making me feel better.
“I'm sorry all of this got dumped on you.” She let out a long sigh. “And here I told your brother to get on top of telling you the big news. I thought he at least wrote to let you know he needed to talk to you.”
“I think he mentioned that at some point, but...” I shrugged. In context, one of my previous conversations with my brother made a lot more sense. Though it couldn’t have been that hard to just spit it out and tell me he had been dating Cadance. Not like he didn’t have plenty of time to figure out what he was going to say to me.
“I don't know what's gotten into Shining.” Mom shook her head. “He's usually more on top of things than this. Maybe his job is making him busier than I realized. It’s not an excuse, but it can be easy to let things get away from you while you’re busy with the daily grind.”
“Maybe.” I leaned against Mom, wanting something to make me feel better at the moment. “I just ... why didn't he tell me?!”
“To be fair to him, his wedding was supposed to be much later than this,” Mom said. “Princess Celestia asked them to bump it up as a morale boost, what with there being some sort of crisis everypony is keeping hush-hush about.” She waved vaguely out my bedroom window. Outside, my brother’s shield spell glowed as it protected the city. Her eyes narrowed and she spoke in a grumble. “Though I would have preferred if she asked the rest of us about that first. This is my baby’s wedding we’re talking about.”
“Oh.” My ears drooped at the mention of Princess Celestia. “Well, I'm sure she had good reasons for it. She always does.”
“It's okay to disagree with the princess a little bit.” Mom patted my knee reassuringly. “She has good intentions and a whole hay lot more experience at this than any of us, but that doesn’t mean she’s perfect. She’s made her fair share of mistakes in the past.”
“But I don't disagree with her,” I insisted. “She always has a good reason for what she's doing, even if we don't understand it right away.”
“So she does.” She ran her hoof through my mane to fix it. “Still, dumping something as big as a royal wedding on you is a bit much.”
“Well, she wouldn't give me the job if she didn't believe I could take care of everything.” I shrugged. “Even if it's all so last-minute, and Cadance keeps being rude to all my friends and making everything twice as hard as it should be.” I crossed my forelegs as Mi Amore Cadenza returned to my thoughts. “And why didn't she talk to me?! Shiny being a bit of a doofus I can understand, but did it never even occur to her to write me?” I copied Mi Amore Cadenza’s voice when I next spoke. “Hi, Twilight. I just wanted to know if you would be okay with me marrying Shining Armor. After all, he is your brother, and I would like your blessing. That would seem like the decent thing to do with my future husband’s little sister.”
“Maybe she was waiting for Shining to talk to you about it before she did,” Mom said, not sounding completely sure herself. “She's been acting a bit odd lately. To be honest, she’s been so busy with the EIS over the last couple of months that I've barely had a word with her. If I had to guess, she’s been in such a bad mood as of late because she didn’t like having her wedding rescheduled out from under her. Every mare wants their wedding to be perfect, and … well, as hard as you and everypony else are trying, arranging a royal wedding this quickly doesn’t lend itself towards perfection. Besides, she probably hasn’t been getting much sleep between work and the wedding.”
“Cloud thinks she's just stressing out over it.” At the mention of Cloud, my eyes turned to the clock sitting on the wall and my heart sunk as I saw what time it was. It was only five minutes before Cloud was supposed to show up! Where had all the time gone?!
I let out a scream and bolted from the bed. “Cloud! I'm supposed to go out on a date with her, and I haven't been getting ready like I'm supposed to!”
Mom blinked at my actions. “Wait, you have a date?”
I frantically scrambled to get ready for my date, galloping to my makeup cabinet and grabbing all my cosmetics and then dumped them on my dresser. “She said a nice, relaxing couple hours out on the town would be a good way to relieve all the stress I'm under.” Remembering I needed a dress too, I rushed over to the closet and telekinetically pulled out a few choices. Dozen. A few dozen choices. “It's not a big deal or anything, just a chance to relax. Because I was told I need to relax for a bit. But how am I supposed to relax when Cloud is going to be here at any minute and I’m not ready?!”
“Slow down, dear, slow down.” Mom got off the bed and put a hoof on my shoulder. “There’s no need to panic.”
“No no no, no time to slow down!” I snatched up three combs from my dresser to start brushing out my mane and tail. “I have to finish wedding preparations and date preparations and there's not enough time for any of it!” I let out a loud groan and flailed about my forelegs. “This is no time to talk about time! I don't have enough time!”
My mom smiled and spoke in a soothing tone. “Relax, Twilight. There's plenty of time. Now.” She took me and sat me before my dresser. “You concentrate on fixing yourself up.” She turned her attention to the clothing levitating before us and took one of the dresses out from the lineup. It was a nice, flowing blue dress Rarity had made for me, and I had left it here in Canterlot just in case I needed it. “Once you've brushed your mane and put on your makeup, put this on.”
I tried to raise an objection, but Mom placed a hoof only lips to forestall me. “If Cloud shows up before you’re done, I can delay her with some small talk.” A smile with a mischievous edge to it creased her lips. “I think I would like to get to know this mare you're dating, anyways. After all, it is my duty as your mother to make sure this pony is good enough for you.”
I wasn't sure I was wild about the idea of Mom interviewing my date, but I could tell I wasn't going to be able to argue with her. I took a few deep breaths and nodded. “Ev-everything's going to be okay?”
“Everything will be perfectly fine.” Mom pecked me on the forehead. “Everypony understands the type of pressure you're under for the wedding, and looking at you right now, I think you do need a break. You're not going to be able to help anypony if you drive yourself into a neurotic mess, you know.”
“A break does sound nice,” I admitted as Mom picked up a brush to comb out my mane. “I just ... want everything to work the way it's supposed to.”
“I know.” She gave me a quick nuzzle before returning to her brushing. “And it's wonderful that you do. But it's okay if everything isn't absolutely, one hundred percent perfect, especially with the time constraints you're under. Anypony with half a brain understands that those are going to cause a few issues.”
“But ... but if it's not perfect then it means I got something wrong.” I felt the anxiety build up in me again. “And getting things wrong leads to—”
“Twilight.” Mom cut me off with that firm, maternal tone of hers. “It's okay, really. Celestia knows my wedding wasn't absolutely perfect, but it was still one of the most wonderful days of my life.”
“But ... but Princess Celestia is going to be there,” I protested. “And if I mess things up for Shiny... He's my big brother. I want everything to be perfect for him.”
“I know. And even if everything isn't perfect, he'll forgive you.” I saw Mom smile with a slightly savage gleam in her eyes. “And if he doesn't, then your dear mom is going to have a word with him. Though really, you've been doing wonderfully thus far.”
“Really?” I asked, and I could feel my hesitancy in the question.
Mom nodded. “I've been helping here and there as I've been able, and I’ve seen you working your tail off making this wedding work.” She tipped my head up to look me in the eye. “Now, your mom is telling you not to worry about the wedding for the rest of the night. You've been a ball of stress since you got back to Canterlot, and it's past time you did some unwinding.”
“Yes, Mom,” I said, not wanting to argue.
Mom frowned and put the brush down. “Though I suppose I've been a bit at fault for things being hard on you.”
“What do you mean?” The sudden change in tone of the conversation made me wonder what she was talking about. Mom had been doing everything I had asked her to do for the wedding, so I wasn't quite sure what she was getting at.
Mom spoke somberly, a grave look falling over her face. “We didn't exactly part on the best of terms when you last left Canterlot.”
“Oh. Um...” I squirmed in my seat. When I had last been in Canterlot we had parted with a big argument over ... well, a lot of things. “That's true.”
I was a bit surprised this conversation hadn't come sooner. My parents probably hadn't because of the wedding. To be fair, getting into an argument over my sister and everything else I had found out about my family wasn't what I needed right now.
“Not that I blame you.” Mom wrapped her legs around me from behind in a hug. “You had more dumped on you than you ever deserved, and had very good reasons to be angry with me.”
I leaned against my mom as a swarm of emotion rolled through me. “I'm ... tired. I'm so tired of everything being crazy and out of control. I just want everything to be normal and safe and predictable again. Is it so wrong to want one of my monthly schedules to actually predict how I'll spend my month?”
Mom chuckled sadly and gave me a squeeze. “I know how that feeling can be. Sometimes life can really throw you for a loop, and often at the worst times. But we persevere, and we have one another to lean on when the going gets tough. Right?”
“Yeah...” Which was what I was literally doing at the moment. Which for right then, was enough. What I needed at that time was my mom. At least that much had gone right.
It wasn't long before the doorbell rang. My first instinct was to run downstairs to answer it, but Mom insisted I stay right where I was and finish dressing up. As she promised, she would deal with Cloud until I was ready. I wasn't exactly wild about the idea of keeping my date waiting, but Mom was right about me needing more time to prepare. I couldn't believe how much time I had used up doing more wedding planning.
In any event, when I was set to go out, I came downstairs and into the living room where Cloud and Mom were chatting. Cloud was wearing a dress uniform made in the crimson of her clan.
I smiled at my date for the night. “Hey, Cloud, good to see you.”
Cloud returned my smile. “Nice to see you too. I was just chatting with your mom while waiting on you.”
“I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long,” I said.
“Nah. Especially not with your mother keeping me company.” She gave Mom a grin with a mischievous air about it. “So, do I pass the test, or do you chase me out of here with a baseball bat?
Mom gave Cloud a predatory grin. “You get a pass ... for now. Though I'll warn you as a matter of courtesy that if you make my daughter cry, I'll do much worse than chase you with a baseball bat.”
“So noted.” Cloud turned her attention back to me. If my mom’s threat bothered her, she didn't show it as she spoke with a casual ease about her. “Twilight, I'm pretty sure she'll kill me if you cry, so ... please don't cry. I have so much to live for, and being dead would cramp my style.”
“Mom!” I protested. “Don’t threaten my date!”
Taking delight in my unease, that grin never left Mom’s face. “What? I hate seeing you cry. I'm sure Cloud would understand my actions would be perfectly reasonable if she ever saw you cry.”
Cloud sagely nodded. “Threatening the date with death is pretty much standard anyway. No hard feelings.”
“It's a time-honored tradition for parents,” Mom said. “You’ll understand when you have children of your own someday.”
I barked out an awkward laugh as my mom brought up a subject that we really didn’t need to get into. I wrapped my leg around Cloud’s and gave her the best smile I could under the circumstances. “Come on, Cloud, let's go on this nice date before something else comes up.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Cloud nodded to Mom. “Well, I'm gonna steal your daughter now. Oh, and for the record, I see where she got her good looks from.”
Mom tittered, and I fixed Cloud with a glower. “Cloud! That's my mom!”
Cloud waggled her eyebrows. “I know.” She leaned in to whisper to me. “Always flirt with the mom of your date. Makes them like you.”
I spluttered at the idea of hitting on my date’s mom. That was ... no, just no, no no no. All the nos!
Mom smiled with obvious amusement. “Alright, you two better go off. It's not going to do if we make Twilight run away screaming before the date can even get off the ground.”
“Perish the thought,” Cloud agreed.
“Yes! Let's get going already!” I pulled on Cloud’s leg to make my escape before this situation could fall into the abyss.
“Have a nice time, honey,” Mom said as she escorted us to the door. “Just don't be out too late. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”
“I know, Mom!” Once our final goodbyes were done, Mom closed the door behind us. When we were a safe distance away, I glowered at Cloud. “Really, you go around hitting on ponies' moms?”
Cloud shrugged. “Sometimes, yes. It's the same sort of harmless flirting as I do with other ponies.”
“I'll just have to take your word on that,” I groused. The idea of Cloud hitting my mom was ... no.
“Don’t worry, you're still my favorite,” Cloud said. “Let's concentrate on making you relax already. So, did you have anything special in mind you wanted to do or am I holding the reins?”
“I ... kinda got distracted by wedding preparations, to be honest.” I gave her a rather strained smile.
“That's fine. I had something nice planned.” Cloud wrapped a wing around me and led me down the street. “I figured since we wanted a nice, low-pressure, relaxing date, I shouldn't go for anything too romantic. Just ... fun.”
“Fun sounds pretty good right now,” I said.
“Great. So, there's this really nice grill I've gone to in the past,” Cloud said. “Casual place, but the food's good. Plus they’ve got a live band tonight, with some singer who’s supposed to be an up-and-coming star.
For our date, Cloud Kicker took me to an outdoor grill by the name of MacMaren’s. Wood tables surrounded a small dance floor that bordered stage where a band was currently playing. Large lighting gems sat on poles, and strings with smaller light gems attached ran between them, offering more than enough illumination for the restaurant. The place was reasonably busy, but it wasn't too long before our table was ready.
“What sounds good for appetizers?” Cloud asked as she scanned the menu. “I'm kinda torn between the fried cheese, the fried onions, or the chips and cheese dip.”
“It has been a while since I've had a fried onion,” I said. “So how about we go with that?”
“Sounds good. They fry them up nice and crispy, then give you dipping sauce.” Cloud waved over our waitress.
“Sounds like exactly what I wanted.” I returned to my menu. Unsurprisingly, the menu was dominated by grilled foods, but most of it did look appetizing. The last thing I’d had to eat was ... breakfast? I was pretty sure I had at least eaten this morning before throwing myself back into wedding day preparations. I must have. Either way, my stomach growled in protest.
A young mare who looked like she was working her first job trotted over to us and gave us a big smile. “Are you two ready to order? Can I start you off with something to drink, or some appetizers?”
Cloud pointed at her menu. “I'd like one of those onions and a light cider. Twi?”
“I'll take a light cider too, please.”
“You got it!” The waitress scribbled on a notepad hanging from her neck. “I'll be back in a few minutes.” She departed, leaving me and Cloud alone again.
Cloud returned her attention to her menu. “It’s been a while since I've been here. Better see if there's anything new.”
“It can be nice to try something new every now and again,” I said, making light conversation.
“Oo-ooh, a new grilled pasta dish. I gotta try that.” Cloud set her menu down. “So, looks like you're feeling better.”
“What do you mean?” I was a bit surprised by the sudden change in topic.
“You seem a lot more ... well, yourself,” she said.
After thinking it over for a second, she wasn’t entirely wrong. I wasn’t at one hundred percent yet, but definitely better than the tightly wound mess I was just a few hours ago. “It’s probably because I'm getting away from everything for a bit. I hadn't really realized how much everything was getting to me.” Specifically, how much the bride was getting to me. I think I could have dealt with everything else if not for Cadance.
Cloud grinned in a way only a pony up to no good could smiled. “Then my evil, mischievous plan is already working. Soon I will get you to smile too!” She made such an over-the-top evil laugh that even the most dramatic of actors would have told her to tone it down.
Despite myself, I smiled at the display. “Mission accomplished, then.”
“It's all coming together.” She offered me a more genuine smile before her attention turned to the stage, her hoof tapping along with the music.
“You like this song?” I asked. Admittedly, I was starting to get into it too as I listened to the singer. She was wearing enough makeup to give even Rarity pause, and donned a really fancy outfit that just screamed ‘Pop star.’ It wasn't something I would ever want to wear, but it was certainly eye-catching.
“It's got a nice beat, and it's fun to dance to,” Cloud said. “Though I don't have enough mane to dance the way Coloratura does. Probably why she gets paid to do it, and I don't.”
“She's certainly dresses up for her shows.” So the singer was called Coloratura? I had never heard of her, but I wasn't exactly the most pop culture savvy mare in the world when it came to modern pop culture. I could tell you all about what was popular during certain periods of time, but I tended to be lost about what ponies liked today. The incident with my Gala dress made that nice and clear.
Before my ignorance on contemporary taste could be revealed, our waitress dropped off our drinks and deep-fried onion. “So are you two ready to order, or did you need a bit more time?”
“I'm ready,” I said. “I'll try that grilled pasta dish you were planning on getting, Cloud.”
“Alright, make that double.” Cloud folded up her menu and gave it to the waitress. “Oh, and are there any rules about dancing?”
“Just don't get too close to the stage.” The waitress nodded towards Coloratura. “Especially her. Her manager's really uptight about that sort of thing. Past that, not much besides keeping it clean and being considerate towards your fellow dancers.”
“Planning on dancing?” I asked.
“Why not?” Cloud asked with an easy smile. “Want to join me? You are my date, after all.”
“Maybe,” I hedged. “I'm not exactly the best dancer.”
Cloud waved off my reluctance. “That's fine. I'll show you some good moves. And really, this is about having fun. It’s not like it’s a competition.”
I bit my lip as I considered the idea of dancing in front of so many ponies. She was right about this not being a competition, and I was here to relax for a bit. “I could give it another try...”
Cloud’s grin widened. “Great!” She took me by the foreleg and led me to the dance floor. There were a few other ponies enjoying themselves as they danced to the music, and the pair of us managed to squeeze in among them.
Cloud didn't take much time before she got into the moment. Her body flowed as she danced closely to me, her rump moving and she smiled suggestively to me. Nothing too risque, but clearly provocative as Cloud smiled invitingly to me.
For my part, I stuck to some basics, just shuffling my hooves around a bit. Nothing nearly as elaborate as what some ponies were doing around me.
“Not bad, but how about you get into it a bit more?” Cloud smoothly bumped my hip without breaking her own rhythm. “Just let loose and have fun.”
“Alright then, why not?” Feeling more confident now and not wanting to seem like a stick in the mud, I tried to copy Cloud and let loose. Emphasis on tried.
I'm not exactly sure what happened. One second I was dancing, and the next I tripped over something and collided with Cloud. That caused me to completely lose balance and the whole world turned into a blur. I bumped into a couple other ponies before I fell back against a table, knocking it over to the surprise exclamation of its users. Food and drink fell over me.
“Ma’am, are you okay?!” our waitress asked as she scrambled to get over to me.
“Sorry, sorry!” I said, still trying to regain my mental balance after the accident. It had all happened so fast, and now I had a couple fellow customers looking very unhappily down at me. Little surprise when I had just ruined their meal. “I didn't mean to!”
“It’s okay, ma’am.” The waitress grabbed a few napkins to try and clean up the mess. She was going to need more napkins. “Let's just make sure you’re okay.” She looked at the customers whose table I had just knocked over. “I'm real sorry about this! If you give me a moment, I'll get each of you some fresh orders to replace your food.”
While the waitress was taking care of the other customers, Cloud emerged from the small crowd that had gathered and helped me to my hooves. “You alright?”
“I'm alive. I think.” I flicked some salad off of me. “Though I've made a bit of a mess of things. Again.”
Cloud grabbed some more napkins to help clean me off. “What happened?”
“That's what I'm trying to figure out.” Once enough of the food had been cleaned off, I used a drying spell to dry out my dress. “I think I tripped. I have four left hooves that way.”
“You more or less survived, at least.” She tipped up my chin to look me in the eye. “Hey, it's alright. We all have our weak points.”
“Maybe we should sit back down before I cause anymore property damage?” More ponies were looking at me than I liked at that moment.
“Good idea.” Cloud led us back to our table, looking me over for injuries (and probably just looking me over) as we sat down. “You didn't bump anything did you?”
“No, I'm fine.” I shook my head, the embarrassment of the incident making me feel depressed again. “Just another in a long series of disasters for the week.”
“Relax, Twilight.” Cloud reached across the table to put her hoof on mine. “You're fine, I'm fine, everypony else is fine. It's a harmless little goof.”
I took a long breath to calm down. I was here to relax, not think about everything going on in my life at the moment. “Right, everything is fine. You're right. Sorry, I'm not trying to be a downer here. I really am trying to enjoy myself.”
“Hey, I'm having a great time,” she assured me. “You just gotta learn to laugh at the little stuff.”
“I know, that's what Pinkie's always telling me,” I said. “It's just that it has been a bit rough the last couple of days.”
“Yeah, I know the feeling.” Cloud scooted closer, leaning against me
I applied my hoof to my face as I realized the context of what I had just said. Cloud had just lost her mom not too long ago, and here she was trying to make me feel good. The wedding wasn't unimportant, but compared to Cloud’s loss... “Right, this is nothing next to what you've gone through.”
“Twi? Let's not worry about that stuff for now.” Cloud put a wing around me. “Sometimes you have to put the bad stuff aside for a while.”
I rubbed my face as I let that advice sink in. “Okay, putting all that stuff behind me for the night.”
“Good move.” She pecked me on the cheek, and I felt myself flush.
Before I could reply to that, the waitress came by and went about laying our food on the table. “Sorry about the wait, folks. You need anything else?”
Cloud shook her head. “Nope, I think that’s everything.”
“Great!” she said. “If there’s anything else you need, just flag me down.” We both thanked her and she departed to serve the other tables.
I was still blushing by the time she left, prompting Cloud to grin at me. “There we go, back to the Duchess I remember.” She waggled her eyebrows. “How do you like me so far?”
“I like you well enough,” I said with exaggerated reservation. “Though you've certainly been a rock thus far in this date.”
“Oooh, a rock? That's good, right?”
“It means you've been reliable thus far, so I'd say yes,” I said.
“Great. I guess I better keep being reliable, then.” Cloud took a swig of her drink.
“And if you can get me to unwind a bit, then you'll be worth your weight in gold. Everypony tells me I should relax a bit.” The aroma of the food reminded me of just how hungry I was, and I dug into my pasta.
“Glad to hear it.” Cloud peeled off another chunk of the onion and dipped it in the cheese sauce. “Though I think dancing is out, as far as relaxing activities go. And you don't seem like the type to enjoy a club.”
“It would probably for the best if we didn't do any more dancing, if you ask me,” I said.
Cloud nodded and took a bite out of her own plate. “There’s still plenty we can do. So ... what non-wedding things have you been up to?”
I chewed that question over for a moment, along with my dinner. “Before the whole wedding mess, I had been keeping up with my studies. I'm still a busy bee where all of that is concerned. That's where I've been spending most of my time since you left Ponyville.”
“I'm not surprised.” Cloud twirled some pasta onto a fork. “Learn any cool new spells you wanna show off?”
“I have a few.” I felt a bit excited now that we had moved to a familiar subject.
“Alright then.” She sat back. “Wow me.”
I thought over my options. I didn't want to do anything too crazy—my rather disastrous attempt at dancing hadn’t earned us any good will, and causing any more property damage would probably get us kicked out of the restaurant. Getting Cloud banned from one of her favorite restaurants would probably wow her, but not in the way I wanted. Thus, I decided to go with something a bit simpler that shouldn't cause too big of a scene.
My horn lit up as I focused on a spell. Concentrating the water vapor in the air and then bringing it to freezing temperatures, I molded the ice into a small sculpture of Cloud on the table.
Cloud blinked and then leaned her head forward to get a better look as the small sculpture. “Wow. I'm impressed.”
I smiled hopefully. “Really? I mean, it’s just some basic ice manipulation while focusing on creating a detailed object.”
“Yeah, you just made a sculpture of me out of nowhere,” she said. “The ice part I guess could be easy, but getting it in the exact shape of me? That takes talent.”
“It’s just a matter of mental discipline and practice,” I said, squirming in embarrassment in my seat. “Kinda like with making an illusion, but only making something permanent. Pinkie got a kick out of it when I made an ice sculpture for one of her parties.”
“So you can just envision it, and then make it happen?”
“That simplifies what is a somewhat complicated magical process, but yes,” I confirmed. “It isn't that impressive. I can't do anything that might scare everypony or cause too big of a scene.” Part of me wondered if Cloud was genuinely amazed or if she was pretending to be so in order to make me feel better. The other part of me questioned whether it mattered. I couldn’t really be mad at her for trying to make me feel better, especially when that had been the whole point of our date in the first place.
Cloud continued examining the sculpture. “Well I'm still impressed, so you must be wrong about it not being impressive.”
I felt some of the stress of the past couple days fall off of me at Cloud’s compliments. It wasn't that often that I got to show off my magic after all. “You're not just saying that because you want to be nice, are you?”
“No, I really am impressed.” Cloud picked up the sculpture to examine it more closely. “You definitely captured all my best features.”
“You do admittedly have a few.” I looked her up and down.
“Well aren't you a charmer?” Cloud grinned, obviously enjoying the flirting. “Can't help but notice you got my butt perfect. Almost as if you'd studied it. Carefully.”
I felt my cheeks burn. “I just wanted to make it accurate!” I said quickly. “It just so happens you have a nice butt. I mean rear! I mean plot—I mean dimensions covering the backend of your person!”
“Glad you like it.” Cloud gave me a smirk that made me want to sink under the table in embarrassment. “Hey, we're fine. I'm certainly not going to complain about you liking my butt. Thanks.”
“I'll make sure to keep that in mind for the future,” I said coyly. No sense making it too easy for her. Besides, I had a feeling Cloud liked the chase as much as anything else. “Including your good-looking rear.”
“Great,” Cloud said. “And for the record, yours is very nice too.”
“T-thank you.” I cleared my throat and took a swig of my cider. I knew it was a bit silly, but I couldn't help but feel a bit silly flirting like this. Even if it was kind of fun. “Um, and your mane is nice, too.”
“So's yours.” Cloud took a quick sip of her own drink. “Getting the stripes lined up properly must take a lot of work.”
“It's the bane of my mornings,” I groused good-naturedly. “Especially when I've got bedmane.”
Cloud touched her own long, brushed-out mane. “Oooh, my sympathies.”
“That’s why I usually have a stylist trim my mane every other week. Otherwise, all the colors get mixed up into a jumble. It used to drive Mom nuts.”
“Well, it looks great right now, so you must be doing something right,” Cloud said.
“But like I said, yours looks really good too,” I said, exchanging smiles with my date.
“Thanks.” Cloud ran a hoof through her mane and gave me a playful grin. “Are you flirting with me?”
I returned her a shy smile. “That is what you're supposed to do on a date, right?”
Cloud nodded. “Yup. And you're doing a great job.”
“I am? Okay, good—I made some notes for our first date, but then I kind of got derailed with everything that happened then.” I certainly hadn’t expected so many of my friends to interrupt us this evening. Just showed how small of a town Ponyville was. “So because of that, I didn't exactly get to use them at the time. That was a bit annoying, going through all that work only to not use what I prepared.”
“Well, now's your chance,” Cloud said. “Though try and not to get too closely tied to the script. Some of the best parts of a date are getting to enjoy a bit of spontaneity now and again.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said. “Um, you're also looking like you're in good shape. But carrying around all that armor I saw you in probably helps. It’s hard not to get fit carrying around a full set of armor all day.”
Cloud stretched out her wings, and I could imagine that those muscles were especially tired from patrolling the Kicker Compound. “Yeah, between wearing full armor all day and the exercises, I'm getting back in shape. It’s kinda nice, really. I've gotten a bit rusty over the last couple of years.”
“That's good.” I gave her a wry smile. “Ponyville living a bit too soft?”
“Well, I don't normally wear full-plate all day in Ponyville.” Cloud shrugged. “Your brother probably told you how much of a difference all that weight makes. It's hard not to stay in shape carrying it around.”
I nodded. “So he kept telling me when he was training for the Guard.”
“It takes some muscle to manage it all day.” Cloud posed as best she could considering the confines of the table. “Am I looking more muscular now?”
I looked her over, something I couldn't help but notice caused Cloud to smirk. I should have known that having me check her out was at least one of her goals. “Yep, I think so. It's not a huge difference yet, but there is definitely a change.”
“You like it?” she asked, sounding pleased with herself.
I grinned at her, enjoying the casual flirting. “Little hard not to.”
“You're sweet.” She leaned over and nuzzled me.
I returned the nuzzle. “I can only imagine how you would look after a few months of wearing that armor every day. You do look really good in it, you know.”
“Thanks.” She grinned and nudged me teasingly on the shoulder. “Got a thing for a mare in uniform?”
I felt the heat return to my cheeks. “Maybe a little. It is very dashing, you have to admit.”
“I won't argue with you when you're saying how good I look,” Cloud said.
“And I don't mind looking at you, so there you go,” I returned. “Co-physical attraction is a good thing on date, so I read.”
Cloud nodded in agreement. “Gotta have good chemistry.”
“There is a lot that goes into a relationship,” I agreed. “At least from what I've read, and studying the relationships of others.”
“They're complicated.” Cloud returned to nibbling at her food. “But for now we enjoy each other's company. And you like my butt. Good start, right?”
“I've heard of worse starts.” That’s Cloud for you: either commenting about her own or somepony else’s rump. I had to wonder if she could last a week without saying something sexual. That might make for a fun bet.
“I've experienced those worse starts,” Cloud said. “I should tell you about some of my worst experiences someday.”
“It doesn't surprise me you’ve had a few bad dates with as many you've been on.”
“I do have some experience in the field.” she took another slice out of the slowly disappearing onion. “Practice makes perfect, and while I'm not perfect, I do like to think I'm a pretty good dating and banging anypony.”
“As for dating, I would say you're not bad at it.”
“Glad to hear it.” Cloud grinned and gave me another nudge to the shoulder. “Put a smile on your face.”
I let out a snort of amusement. “So you did, congratulations.”
Cloud leaned toward me as a sly grin spread over her features. “So ... how are my chances of a goodnight kiss looking?”
I grinned back at her. “They're looking pretty good at the moment. On the other side of the spectrum, I would also say that the chances that you'll cause me to cry and get my whole family after you are pretty remote at the moment.”
Cloud rose up her hooves and let out a holler of excitement. “I'm on fire!”
“You're so shameless,” I said.
“Utterly shameless,” she agreed.
“Anything for a kiss, then?”
“Within reason,” Cloud said. “I'm not going to do anything that might upset you or cause your family to declare horrible vengeance against me.”
“Probably pretty smart of you. And considering we're still within reason...” Steeling my courage, I went for it and gave Cloud a quick peck on the lips.
Cloud did the same, even if she did linger a bit longer than I did. “Mmm, thank you very much.”
My cheeks blushed as I contemplated what I had done. Kissing somepony else was far from something I was used to, though it was pretty nice. It made me consider what else the two of us might get up to after our upcoming third date. “So there, you got at least one kiss out of this.”
“Thanks. It was really nice.”
“Oh, you're just saying that.” Not that I didn’t appreciate the compliment, though.
“No, it really was a nice kiss,” Cloud said in all seriousness. “I'm happy we got to share that.”
Not wanting to dwell on that kiss for too long, I decided to change subjects. “So, what did you want to do once we’re done eating here?”
“Do you want me to take you home, or…?”
“How about we go someplace else for a bit? I'm not exactly in a rush to go back home.” It shamed me, but I was vastly preferring my time with Cloud than the wedding. Especially when taking Mi Amore Cadenza into account.
“Sure.” Cloud tapped her cheek in thought. “Maybe the library?”
“You want to go to the library with me?” I wasn’t quite able to keep the skepticism out of my tone.
Cloud nodded. “Yeah, I'm sure we can find something you'd like to do there.”
“It's a library, of course there is.” I wasn't sure exactly how many hours I had spent in the library, but I knew it wasn't an insignificant percentage of my life. “I just don't want you to get bored. It is a date, after all.”
Cloud shrugged. “I don't mind doing a little reading.” Something lit behind her eyes and her ears perked. “You've never seen the clan library and museum, have you?”
I shook my head. “Not that I can remember.”
Cloud grinned. “Well, now's your chance.”
A big smile spread on my face at the idea. “Ooh, that seems really fascinating.” After thinking it over for about a whole two seconds, I nodded. “You've won me over with the idea. Let's do it.”
“I didn't think it would be that hard,” Cloud said. “So how about we finish up here and then head to the museum?”
“That sounds good to me.”
Cloud led me to the Kicker Clan Historical Museum. Like most of the buildings in the Kicker Compound, the building was a simply made structure painted red. The only sign of its function was the large, bold, engraved letters on the front that told its name. By the time we had arrived, I couldn’t help but notice that the museum seemed to be closed. Undeterred, Cloud merely pulled out a key and opened the door. She must have gotten the key as part of her Compound guard duties.
Probably noting my reluctance, Cloud held open the door and motioned for me to enter. “Come on, it’s fine. As long as we don’t mess anything up, nopony is going to care if we have a look around.”
“If you say so.” I entered, though still feeling awkward while doing so. Museums did have operating hours for a reason, though my curiosity overpowered the reluctance I felt.
Cloud closed the door after us and hit a switch to turn on the lights. “So, any particular artifacts of my family you wanna see?”
At first glance, it was like most museums, though it had more of a martial emphasis. That was little surprise considering the museum was probably made (or at least commissioned) by Kickers and intended for Kickers and their guests. Against one wall sat a series of armors that showed how designs had changed over the centuries, and along the back wall hung a variety of military banners from a dozen and more wars. All about the museum entrance were more displays and historical artifacts, and doors further into the building whispered of more wonders to see.
“Hm, there is so much I want to see, and I don't know what you even have.” Deciding to begin the process of fixing my ignorance, I plucked a brochure that was sitting near the entrance and started looking it over. “Maybe some of the more historically relevant items. It's always nice to get to see a bit of history.”
“Sure thing,” Cloud said. “Any particular era you had in mind?”
Looking through the brochure, I listed off a few things that might be interesting to see at the museum. “Hm, there is the period around the Lunar Rebellion, the Liberation of Manehattan, then there's the Asparagus Revolt, and I would like to see what you have for the Westmarch War. I've read about all of those recently.”
Cloud grinned and suppressed a chuckle. “‘Recently.’ Well, we've got tons of Rebellion-era stuff. You can thank the Cult for that. A good collection from the Morning Wars too.”
“Then let's check out what you have here,” I said. “Though we don't need to rush, as long as I'm back home early enough to get sufficient sleep for tomorrow.” I hated the idea of rushing through a museum instead of taking my time and giving everything the attention it deserved.
“Sure thing.” She bumped me teasingly with her hip. “Pity you've got one more date to go before I can ask you to stay over. Otherwise I could have gotten you to bed in no time once we were done here.”
I bumped her right back. “Shameless as always, I see. Whatever would ponies say if they heard I stayed over at your place?”
Cloud grinned in her typical shameless manner. “They’d probably talk about how jealous they were over the great bang I’d be giving you.”
I snorted in amusement. “Yes, I’m sure that’s exactly what they would say.”
“Hey, I promised I would give you a great time,” Cloud said. “And you have to admit, the look Dash would give once she heard that you lost your virginity would be priceless.”
My cheeks bulged as I suppressed a laugh. “Okay, that would be pretty funny. I’m tempted to let you tell her that just to see what her reaction would be.”
“I might just do that.” Cloud sounded very tempted by the idea. “Though only if you’re okay with it, and I’d have to tell her the truth after I got a rise out of her.”
I nodded. “That would probably be for the best. I don’t need her bashing my door down or crashing through a window demanding to know why I slept with you.”
“Sounds good.” Cloud wrapped a wing around my back. “Now then, I have a museum to take you out to.”
“Asking me out to a museum. That is either one of the least or most attractive things I've ever heard.” Though considering it was me, Cloud certainly could have picked a worse place to ask me, especially since this was putting me in a good mood.
“I'm a romance ninja that way,” Cloud said. “So, idea, how about we start with the area devoted to your ancestors?”
My ears perked at the suggestion. “That sounds interesting. Any of them in particular?”
“Mostly Sunbeam and Midnight, if we're doing Rebellion and Morning Wars.” Cloud lead the way to the wing of the museum dedicated to the Lunar Rebellion. It was quite sizeable and looked like a considerable percentage of the museum’s budget had been spent here—not all that surprising, given how integral that conflict was to the Clan’s history. All around the room was a series of paintings depicting important events from the war, and at the center was a statue of Shadow Kicker.
Suppressing some less-than-dignified reactions, I headed over to where it looked like you were supposed to start with your tour. Sunbeam and Midnight were the two ponies that had really gotten House Sparkle going nine centuries back, so I was pretty interested in seeing anything related to my distant ancestors. “What do you have from my house?”
“Probably nothing amazing compared to what you guys would have.” Cloud shrugged. “Mostly just things like a few gifts our family’s received from yours over the generations.” She stopped at one of the displays near the Shadow Kicker statue and looked at a very old skull with some faded pink paint on it.
I wrinkled up my nose as I looked with Cloud. “Wait, did that belong to Shadow Kicker?” My eyes turned to the information plaque for the skull.
Cloud read alongside me. “It was a gift, apparently.”
“Interesting, if pretty morbid,” I said. “It seems that Midnight Sparkle gave this to Shadow when Midnight was still a filly. She ... had a thing for skulls, at least based on what I have read. But this is really fascinating.”
Cloud quirked an eyebrow. “And very pink.”
I shrugged. “Apparently Midnight went through a pink phase when she was younger.”
“So she had other phases later on?” Cloud asked.
I scratched the side of my neck as I recalled what I had read. “Among other things, she picked up scrimshaw when she became an adult ... in addition to casting her skull in valuable metals and gems.” I grimaced at some unpleasant relics of Midnight's that were still in the manor. “She actually turned the skull of a warlock by the name of Hidden Facts into a goblet. The thing always creeped me out when I saw it in a display cabinet. Shiny kept saying that he would pull it out of there and dare me to drink out of it.”
Cloud nudged me with a wing. “There's a cheerful thought to start things off on. Kinda like any discussion in my family over the Battle of Maresidian Fields.”
“My family has a bit of a history with ... eccentricities, we’ll call them.” Whatever else you might say about it, the history of House Sparkle was not boring. More than one historian had written about my house or one of its family members, and while a lot of those books had been quite interesting, it had made me wonder more than once if I was doomed to have a weird life. Nothing that had happened to me since moving to Ponyville had dispelled those concerns.
“Is that your way of warning me you might go nuts on me?” She grinned teasingly.
I gave her a flat look. “Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. I might just go crazy and ravish you in front of the artifacts of your own ancestors at any moment. History just turns me on like that.”
“Well, thanks for warning me ahead of time,” Cloud said dryly. “I do like to know what a pony’s turn-ons are.” She led me towards a large painting that dominated one of the walls. I quickly recognized the figures as that of Sunbeam, Midnight, Shadow, and Gale. They all sat in dignified poses in their cloaks, armor, and symbols of office.
I read over the plaque sitting in front of the portrait. “Oooh, this is even a period piece.”
“Yeah?” Cloud took a second look at the portrait. “Kinda ... basic, though.”
“You think so?” I examined the painting again, trying to see what Cloud was getting at, but I couldn’t see any problems. At the very least it looked like most of the portraits I had seen from the era. “It was made nine hundred years ago. Painting wasn't as advanced as it is now, and this is the style of the time period.”
“Fair enough.” She shrugged. “It's all of them posing for a picture. No personality to it.”
“I guess. As I said, it's meant to be one of those more dignified portraits,” I said. “Now, if you want something a bit more lively, I can show you a few of the things we have in the manor gallery. Or maybe we could go to the Canterlot Royal Art Gallery.”
That idea brought a smile to Cloud’s face. “Well that just sounds incredibly intriguing.”
I felt another blush coming on. “It's something of a tradition for family members to commission works showing some of the more famous things they've done. It might seem a bit conceited, but I guess everypony would like to be remembered for something they did.”
“I bet that would lead to some interesting results,” Cloud said.
“That it has,” I agreed, remembering the art galley back home. “Sunbeam had something of a flair for depicting herself fighting warlocks, for instance.”
“It is what she's famous for.”
“Right, so for my family you get a lot of fighting warlocks, monsters, dragons, as well as some nicer stuff like those that helped to pass important laws or signing important treaties,” I said. “Just depends on who did what.”
“Well, we've got plenty of battle honors here, so I can't really comment.” Cloud waved at what looked to be some captured pegasi and gryphon armor sitting against one of the walls. “Fighting and being soldiers is what my clan is known for. It’s all medals, captured banners, weapons, and armor here.”
I trotted over to where a host of banners were hanging. “Oh! There’s one for High King Leopard XXII, High Queen Anastasia IV, the Doo Clan, and the Great Stone of the Alltheng. I recognize a lot of these people from my books.”
“We've been pretty busy.” Cloud pointed to a nearby display. “And one of the scales of Vermithrax the Destroyer.”
I went over to look at the scale. It was the size of a large shield, and despite its age, still had a sheen to it. “Oooh! You mean the dragon that was responsible for the Sacking of Vanhoover?”
Cloud nodded. “Yeah, that one. Princess Celestia dealt with him, but an elite clan strike force helped.”
“Right, I remember reading about that.” I didn’t know a lot about the incident, but that was something I might have to fix in the near future. Museums tended to get me excited about the idea of reading about all sorts of things. How couldn’t you be when you’re in a place of learning?
“It was supposedly a pretty crazy fight,” Cloud said. “Granted, it’s hard to fight a dragon without things going nuts.”
“Right, which is why my friends and I tried to avoid a fight with that one dragon that wanted to go into his hundred year sleep near Ponyville.”
“Considering you can count the number of non-alicorns who have won fights with a dragon on your hooves...”
“A bit of an exaggeration, but yes, point taken.” I could name a number of ponies, either solo or as part of teams, that had defeated dragons in the past. Granted, they were in the minority. Dragons weren’t a joke in a fight. It still felt a bit weird to think that I had done something like that. Thank goodness we had Fluttershy to help sort that one out; otherwise, things could have gotten ugly.
“Anyway, what...” Cloud trailed off and her ears perked. I tried to ask what was up, but she held a hoof over my mouth. When she next spoke, it was in a hushed tone. “Just a second.”
Cloud trotted over to a closed door, and in a swift motion, opened it. Inside of a supply closet was a pair of young mares smooching away. Cloud raised an eyebrow at the pair of them, and they froze in place.
I stepped over to get a better look at the two of them. “Sparkler? Star?”
Sparkler waved her hoof sheepishly, her face taking on a deeper shade of red with every passing second. “Er ... hey.”
For Star’s part, she did a bit better at hiding her embarrassment over getting caught, but only a little bit.
Even somepony who loved museums as much as I did didn't think of a museum as a place to make out... Okay, maybe I found a museum as a little bitromantic, but I was pretty sure I was an outlier for that sentiment. “What are you two doing here?” I asked.
Cloud grinned mischievously, and I could all but hear her rubbing her hooves together in conspiratorially. “Pretty sure they were seeing how far Star's tongue could fit into Sparkler's mouth.”
Sparkler let out the groan of a put-upon teenager. “Cloud...”
Star hip bumped Sparkler, going for a cocky grin that did little to hide how nervous she was. “She's not wrong...”
I applied my hoof to my face. Of the thing I had considered might happen during our date, this was not one of them. I was surprised to see that Sparkler was even in Canterlot. “Do I want to know if your mom knows you're here, Sparkler?”
“She does.” While she initially sounded confident, her blush deepened and she amended, “Um ... she doesn't quite know about...”
“These two lovebirds just hooked up,” Cloud explained for her. Cloud seemed a lot less surprised about this than I had been, so she probably knew about this little romance. Star was Cloud’s cousin, and it wasn't hard for me to imagine Star asking Cloud for advice.
“Ah, okay then,” I said, taking in all the information I had been given. “I guess I won't do something rash then.”
“Um ... like what?” Sparkler asked, sounding worried.
“Like tell your mom that you were making out in a museum,” I told her.
Sparkler’s ears flattened. “Please don't.”
I waved dismissively. “I'm not going to tattle on you just for kissing. Granted, I think you should tell her you're dating, but I wasn't planning on raising a ruckus just for this.”
Sparkle put a hoof to her chest as she let out a relieved sigh. “Thanks.”
“And you...” Cloud stalked over to Star. “Need some advice on good secret make-out spots?”
“Maybe you shouldn't be encouraging your cousin like that when she has a pretty young fillyfriend?” I cautioned. I could see a few ways the two of them could get into trouble with Cloud’s help.
“Twilight, they're gonna smooch either way,” Cloud said. “I'm just trying to find them a little privacy.”
That was probably true, but I wasn't completely comfortable with the situation. “Well, yes, but it's not like they need to keep it secret.”
“Wanna go make out in front of all our friends and family?” Cloud asked.
“N-no!” I regained my composure before speaking again. “Okay, point made.”
Sparkler shuffled nervously. “So ... um...”
It was clear that Sparkler wanted to get out of this uncomfortable situation, so I gave her a reassuring smile. “Don't worry, you're off the hook.”
Cloud nodded in agreement. “I'll tell you and Star all the best makeout spots so that you can do your thing in private.”
I shot her a rueful smile. “And why am I not surprised you know all the best makeout spots?”
Cloud smiled back. “Because I'm me?”
“Oh right, that.” I smacked her playfully on the chest.
“You knew what you were getting into with me,” Cloud said with smug confidence.
“True, I can't claim ignorance.” It's not like it took that long to figure out the basics.
Star cleared her throat. “So, mind giving us one of your spots so that the two of us can go someplace without being interrupted?”
“Sure.” Cloud gave them directions to one of Canterlot’s gardens that was supposed to be pretty private during this time of night. Knowledge in hoof, and walking hip to hip, the two of them headed out of the museum and do what young lovebirds are prone to do.
After the two of them had made their escape, I turned to Cloud. “Well, that was unexpected.”
“Yeah, but that’s part of the fun, if you ask me.” Cloud nudged me. “Come on, you have to admit that was a little fun.”
“Okay, it was pretty exciting to catch them in the act,” I admitted.
Cloud grinned, clearly delighted that I had enjoyed the little incident with her cousin and Sparkler. “Oh really? Exciting?”
“In a very mischievous way, yes. But enough of that.” I took her by the leg. “I believe we have a tour of the museum to complete.”
“I'm a dead mare,” Cloud said with a groan.
We were on the way back to the manor now that we were done exploring the Kicker Clan Museum. The night sky probably would have been nice to see if not for the pink bubble of my brother’s shield spell hanging over us.
“Why is that?” I asked
“You know how late it is?” The question had been more of a statement than a question.
I looked up to try and judge what time it was based on the night sky, but was confounded by the shield. “It isn't that late, is it?” At least I didn’t think we had spent that much time at the museum. Sure, we had gone into every room and looked at every display, but ... okay, I might have spent more time than I realized just looking around. Time does tend to fly in museums.
Cloud let out an exasperated sigh. “Late enough to make your mom angry with me.”
I gave her a smile that was strained at the edges. “She might be asleep by now.”
“Trust me, she's not,” Cloud said. “I’m speaking from experience. Parents stay up and wait when they know their little filly is out on a date.”
Unable to find a way to argue the point, I decided to take a different approach to reassure her. “I could head inside by myself. That way you can dodge the worst of it.”
Cloud shook her head, then pecked me on the cheek. “I can handle it. This isn’t anything I haven’t done before. But thanks for thinking about me.”
“S-sure thing.” We arrived at the manor and I trotted to the front door. I looked back to her before opening it. “So, do you want to come in, or is this where we part?”
She stepped up to the door. “I might as well come on in and face the music. That tends to work out better that way in the long term anyways.”
“Alright then.” I opened the door and headed inside. Upon reaching the living room, I found my mom engrossed in a book on the couch. When she didn’t notice us, I called out to her.“Hi Mom, I'm back.”
“Twilight?” Mom’s ears perked and she got off the couch. She hugged me before looking me over. “It's late, I was getting a bit worried.”
“Sorry,” Cloud said, sounding appropriately apologetic, probably as a result of practice over the years. “We stopped by a museum and lost track of time.”
I chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of mane. “I kinda got distracted. It was pretty exciting to get to go through the Kicker Clan Museum.”
Mom hummed unhappily. “Well, the important thing is that you're home now. Did you enjoy your date?”
I nodded. “I did. It was a lot of fun, actually.”
“That sounds nice,” Mom said. “You're going to have to tell me all about it during breakfast.” She grinned at Cloud. “The good news is that I'm not chasing you away with a baseball bat.”
Cloud let out a relieved sigh but then paused, a sudden tension in her frame. “This isn't one of those things where you're just setting me up for something way worse once I relax, is it?”
Mom shook her head. “Not this time. Don't worry, I'm not going to hex you with some awful curse or get you sent to Tartarus.”
“Mom!” I protested. “She was nice.”
Cloud gave Mom a flat look. “Yes, please listen to your daughter who doesn't want me to suffer horribly.”
“I will—for now.” Mom grinned evilly. “Though I reserve the right to change my mind later.”
“So noted.” Cloud cleared her throat. “By the way, I love what you've done with your mane.”
Mom covered her mouth as she snorted with amusement. “Figures it would have to be a shameless flirt to get my daughter to finally go out on a date.”
“Mom!” I protested again. Really, Cloud was flirting with my mom, and Mom seemed to be enjoying it. What wasn’t wrong with this picture?
Either unaware or unbothered, Cloud plowed ahead. “I mean it though. Really.”
“Oh, I don't doubt it,” Mom tittered. “Though I'm a bit old to be flirting back with young mares like yourself.”
Cloud’s grin became more confident as her worries about being turned into a frog shrunk. “Nonsense. You're never too old to be beautiful.”
I rolled my eyes. “Cloud, are you dating me or my mom?”
“You, Twilight.” Cloud gave me a carefully chaste kiss. “I'm just being friendly. And trying to get myself some insurance that your mom isn’t going to turn me into a statue.”
I made myself calm down and forced a grin on my face. “Good to hear. Otherwise we might need to have a talk—one that might involve me turning you into a statue.”
Cloud chuckled. “I don't think you need to worry about your mother stealing me.”
“Well I better get you going before you start giving my mom ideas.” Thinking about the idea for a moment, I gave Cloud a kiss on the lips, a kiss she quickly returned. “And that’s to remind you of who you're really dating here.”
Cloud brushed some of my mane aside and smile warmly. “Like I could forget you.”
Mom stepped in closer, a smile on her face that I didn’t like at all. “And don't forget me, either.” She gave Cloud a quick peck on the cheek.
“Never would,” Cloud said, returning the favor.
“See that you don't.” Mom turned to leave the living room, but stopped before making it too far. “Though do remember who you are dating. Twilight deserves a little bit of happiness in her life.” With that she departed, swaying her hips in ways I did not like at all.
Cloud stared after her as she left. “Huh. Not bad.”
“Cloud!” I punched her in the shoulder. “Don't check out my mom!” From around the corner, I could hear Mom laughing. Yes, she must being having a riot over this... I really hope she didn’t tell anypony else about this.
“You're doing this on purpose!” I yelled after her.
Cloud chuckled. “Yeah, she is. I have to admit, she’s good at this.”
“Relax, honey,” Mom said from out of sight. “I'm not going to steal your fillyfriend. Now say goodbye to her and head to bed. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”
Cloud patted me on the back. “Yeah, she's just messing with you. Parents do that.” Her smile faded as she said that, and I realized how our conversation with my mom must have reminded her of her own mother.
I hugged her, almost on instinct. “Hey, I'm here.”
Cloud returned the hug, squeezing me tightly. “Yeah, I know.” Cloud took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s just ... memories and stuff. I’m fine.”
“Are you going to be fine going home this late at night?” I asked. “We have guest rooms here if you need one.”
Cloud shook her head. “I'm fine. It’s not a long walk home.”
“Alright, see you later, Cloud,” I said. “Sorry if we ended on a bit of downer. You did a great job of helping me feel better.”
Cloud waved my apology off. “Nothing to apologize for, I'm just glad you're feeling better. Though for the record...” She craned her neck to look at my rear. “The reason I liked your mom’s rear is because it reminded me of yours. Have to say, it’s one of the nicest I’ve ever seen.”
I chuckled and shook my head. Cloud really did never change. “Well, for the record too, yours is nice too.” Before she could answer, I swiftly slapped her rear and then teleported her out of the manor. Maybe that would give her something to remember on the way back home.
All in all, my brother’s wedding could have gone a lot worse. His real wedding, that is. It’s a little hard to salvage a wedding involving a shapeshifter pretending to be your big brother’s fiancée with the intention of using the wedding to invade Equestria. I hadn't checked, but I was pretty sure there weren't any books that specifically detailed how to fix a disaster that big.
It had certainly helped to have a bride who was willing to work with me and give some her input on what she wanted. The real Cadance had been the mare I had remembered from my childhood. While I still would have preferred more warning about the upcoming wedding, at least I could get along perfectly well with Cadance. Now the married couple was well on their way to their honeymoon and marital bliss, and for the first time in what felt like forever, I didn't wake up needing to scramble to get a bunch of stuff done for a wedding.
I yawned as I descended the stairs to head to the kitchen. I was still pretty pooped from the reception, but it was a good kind of fatigue. Nothing like a wedding to put a pony in a good mood. When I got to the kitchen, I saw Mom and Dad already working on breakfast, and I was met with the sweet aroma of coffee. “Morning, Mom and Dad.”
Dad took a quick sip from his mug. “Good morning, Twilight.”
Mom put down the piece of fruit she was about to eat. “Hi, Twilight. Sleep alright?”
“Great.” I stretched some of my muscles from my long sleep. “The wedding's finally over and I don't have to plan it anymore. Now I can just relax.” My friends should still be in town, though I wasn’t in a race to see them quite yet.
Dad poured a fresh mug of coffee and levitated it to me. “That's got to be a good feeling.”
I immediately took the offered mug, drinking down that fantastic nectar of life and wakefulness. My mornings just hadn't gotten started until I’d had a cup of three of the precious substance.
“How about you sit down and get yourself something to eat?” Mom asked.
“I can get it for you, if you'd like.” Dad pointed to the waffle iron he was using. “I'm making waffles, and your mom cut up some fruit.”
“That sounds great, thanks.” I sat down next to Mom at the kitchen counter.
Mom smiled at me. “We figured you would like something special after the long day yesterday.”
“I'll get right on it.” Dad poured some batter into the waffle iron. “So ... we've got a little bit while that's cooking.”
“Uh-huh.” Still feeling fuzzy even after a long night’s sleep, I took a deep draft of my wonderful coffee. My stomach growled at the inviting smells of breakfast.
There was a period of silence before Mom finally broke it. “So, it's been a bit crazy for a while, hasn't it?”
“Well yeah,” I said. “Not every day my brother's wedding is interrupted by an invading army of love-consuming shapeshifters.”
“Thank Celestia,” Dad said with enough conviction for everypony in the room. He knocked back the rest of his coffee and refilled it. “Once is too much already. I’m not a young stallion anymore. This type of excitement isn’t good for me.”
Mom grunted in agreement. “Hopefully we won't see anything like that happen again for a long, long time. But at least it's sorted out now.”
“That's the main thing,” I said. “Plus Shining and Cadance seem real happy together, and we did manage to give them a really nice wedding.”
Mom smiled and gave me a nuzzle. “So we did. No small thanks to you.”
“And you did a great job with it.” Dad patted me on the back. “That's a big, complicated mess sorted.” He checked on the status of the waffle iron, and seeming content with its state, flipped it onto a plate and placed it in front of me. “One of them, anyway.”
I began the process of pouring some syrup onto my waffle. “Thanks. So what else is there?”
A slight frown worked its way on my mom’s features and she spoke with a hint of reluctance in her voice. “There was something we wanted to talk to you about, Twilight.”
“Go ahead.” I took a bite out of my waffle, wondering what this could be about.
Mom put down her mug and gave me a serious look. “It's about some of the things we talked about last time you were in Canterlot.”
“Which ones?” I asked, my mind still feeling fuzzy as I took another bite.
“Let's start with the part where Shining allegedly has a child,” Dad stated gravely.
I nearly choked on the waffle I was chewing on. They were bringing that up now?!
“It's about time we talk about that,” Mom said.
Dad passed me a glass of milk as I coughed. “Past time, really.”
Once the worst of the coughing subsided, I quickly drank a couple mouthfuls of the milk to clear my throat. “Er ... yes. That.” I had feared this conversation was coming. That wasn’t surprising when I’d screamed at them for being such great examples to Shiny that he had his own bastard child, just like them. My parents hadn’t said a word about the topic when I had returned to Canterlot, probably because they didn’t want to create a scene when we were all busy planning for the wedding. Priorities and all that. Shame that now the wedding was over, the excuses for not having this talk were over as well.
“We've given you space to collect yourself and think over everything we talked about last time.” Mom let out a sad sigh and looked down into her mug. “You certainly earned it, but the note you left us on has ... well, left us very concerned. Especially in light of recent events.”
Dad nodded in agreement. “Let's start at the beginning. How…?” A pondering expression ran across his face. Whatever it was he was thinking about, it resolved with a shake of his head and a sigh. “How'd you even get that idea?”
I took a deep breath as I carefully considered my words. There was no getting out of this, so I might as well dive right in. “Um ... Well it's kind of a long story. You see, there's this mare in Ponyville who has a daughter. And ... well, she didn't know for sure who the father was because it was a one-night-stand and they were both a bit drunk, but from her description it sounded a lot like Shiny, and the timelines match up...”
Mom rubbed her face, her weariness clear. “Please tell me this is just a case where you were angry and just wanted to throw something in our faces during a bad moment.”
My ears wilted as I buckled down to tell the truth. “Er ... well I tried a lineage spell, and everything matched.”
Dad was the next one to rub his face. “Of course you did.”
Mom let out a breath. “So you're telling me that…?”
I put on what had to be the most strained smile I had ever worn. “Congratulations, you're grandparents.”
“We have a grandchild. Celestia...” Dad looked to Mom and their eyes met. “Shining has a daughter.”
“That's ... going to take a moment to sink in...” Mom ate some fruit while she digested that. “Normally you get the better part of a year to get ready for something like that. Not just have it dumped on you out of nowhere like this.”
“It was a pretty big surprise for me too,” I said.
“How ... how old is she?” Dad asked.
“Six years old.” I smiled, trying to give them some assurance that everything was going to be alright. Even if I had no idea how this was going to turn out in the end. “You’ve … um … you’ve actually met her already, Mom.”
Mom reeled in surprise. “I have?”
I nodded. “Yes, both of you did actually. Do you remember the two girls that were with me the last time I was in Canterlot? We had dinner.”
A small smile lifted on her face. “Yes, of course. I remember she was a sweet little … filly.” Her eyes widened as my meaning fell into place.
“That … was our granddaughter.” Dad let out a long breath. “This is ... something alright. Wow.”
“This ... was not how I expected to be told I'm a grandmother.” Mom leaned back and frowned contemplatively.
“I wasn't expecting to find out I'm an aunt either.” I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. “I ... I've told Ditzy, but Dinky doesn't know yet.” Oh goodness, and here I had promised Ditzy that I was going to wait until we could talk to my parents together about this. Hopefully she would forgive me for blathering to them. What was I supposed to do, tell them no when they confronted me? I knew that wasn’t going to fly very well.
I sighed. “And Shiny doesn’t know either. I was going to tell him, and I even wrote him some letters telling him that I needed to talk to him about something serious. But ... the wedding...” My ears fell flat.
“Or Cadance.” Dad shook his head. “Celestia's teats...”
“Er ... yeah, she wouldn't know either.” This was a fine mess we were in. And here I thought some of the friendship problems I had dealt with were tricky.
“Oooh dear.” Mom took another long sip of her coffee. “This is going to be a big mess to clean up. Needless to say, this isn’t how you want your marriage to get started.”
Dad made his way to the cabinet and filled his mug with some orange-smelling liquor. “Where do we even start with that?”
“Um...” I tapped my hooves together nervously. “Well I suppose we should probably tell Shiny at some point.”
“Later,” Dad said firmly. “Let's at least let him finish his honeymoon ... and some time after that. The two of them need a bit of time to get settled.”
“Well, obviously, but he still needs to know eventually,” I pointed out.
“Yes, he does,” Mom said, her tone firm. “Ugh, the timing is awful for this. But there isn’t anything to be done about it.”
“Tell me about it,” Dad said. “This is better than the bug-bitch, but only barely.”
“Still, Shining will be told when the timing is right.” Mom shook her head. “And no, we're not going to put it off forever. Just... when it's appropriate. He doesn't deserve to have his marriage wrecked right out of the gate. And there are things we can do until then.”
“Gee, I'm sorry Shining having an illegitimate child is inconvenient for you.” The words flowing out of my mouth before I could stop them. I instantly regretted saying them, even as the hot pain of the lies they had told me burned.
My parents winced. Mom hunched her shoulders and she looked down at the counter surface. Dad put a hoof on Mom’s shoulder. “We didn't mean it like that, Twilight.”
I sighed and rubbed my face. The situation was bad enough without snapping at my parents. However much they might deserve it for the lies about my own sister. “I know, I know. It’s just ... still sore.”
“I made a terrible mistake,” Mom said quietly. “I've known that for a long time. If it was something I could fix...” She shook her head again. “Anyways, I'm not going to make a similar mistake. Not with my granddaughter.”
Dad leaned over and squeezed Mom’s hoof. “One thing at a time, love.”
“Um ... right.” I shuffled nervously as I remembered the letter Princess Celestia had given me—the one with Amethyst’s address. I hadn’t opened it yet. With everything else that had occupied me, it had never seemed like the right time to open it. The Princess had said to wait until I was ready for it.
Something about Mom’s demeanor changed as she looked at me and her eyes narrowed. “Twilight, is there something else you want to tell us?”
“We might as well get it all on the table,” Dad said. “No sense holding anything back now.”
My shoulders hunched. Mom must have picked up that something was bothering me. She had always been good at detecting when something was on my mind. “Um ... well ... I kind of ... maybeknowhereAmethystis.”
Mom blinked. “Excuse me?”
I swallowed, my throat suddenly feeling very dry. “Um, well when I mentioned the situation to Princess Celestia, she said that she knew where Amethyst was.”
“She did?!” Mom bolted onto her hooves. “I need to speak with her right now.”
“She gave me a letter with all the information,” I quickly amended. If I hadn’t, she might very well have ran to the palace right then and there.
“Please tell me you have it with you,” Dad said, his statement halfway between a question and a demand.
“Of course.” I stood, knowing there wasn’t any way I was going to get away not having the letter opened here and now. Part of me had considered the possibility something like this might happen, so I had packed it during the panic of trying to get to Canterlot for Shiny’s wedding. “I ... well, she said I shouldn't open it until I was ready.”
“Well I'm ready.” Mom didn’t sound like she was in the mood to argue. She stared at me with a look of pure iron determination. “So please give it to me. Twilight, I made the biggest mistake of my life when I gave up Amethyst. If there is anything I could do set everything right, when I'm this close to knowing where she is...”
Dad placed a hoof on Mom’s shoulder to steady her. “Please?”
My ears wilted under the looks they gave me—Mom’s one of desperate need, and Dad’s that of a pleading stallion. “Okay. Just a second...”
I went and retrieved the letter from my luggage and returned to the kitchen. Mom was pacing around the dining room while Dad sat patiently, drinking from his mug. Mom stopped her pacing when she saw me return. “So, do you want to open it, or shall I?”
Thinking the question over, I said, “Celestia did give the letter to me, so...” The letter almost shaking in my magic, I carefully opened it and started reading. There wasn’t much on the piece of paper, just a name and an address.
“It ... it can't be...” I heard somepony say with my voice and the letter fell from my grip.
“What? What is it?” Dad pleaded.
Mom stepped up next to me, keeping me from falling over. “Twilight, what is it?”
“It's ... it's...”
Sparkler opened the door to the Doo Manor in Canterlot.
“Am—Sparkler?” Mom asked, the words a bit breathless. That wasn't exactly a surprise after the quick pace we had taken to get here. We hadn't run the entire way here, but we had moved at a quick trot. After I had told her what Celestia had said and after Mom had read the letter for herself, we had come straight to the Doo Manor.
“That would be me, a Sparkler.” Sparkler glanced around to see Dad and me with Mom. She blinked in surprise when her eyes fell on me. “Hey, Twilight. I wasn't exwhaULG!” Whatever she was trying to say was cut off when Mom wrapped her up in a crushing hug. I was briefly worried I was going to have to pry them apart unless I wanted to risk the family reunion resulting in Sparkler’s accidental death.
Thankfully Dad put a restraining hoof on Mom’s shoulder. “Velvet, honey? Maybe let her breathe?”
“And maybe let us explain things?” I added.
Mom momentarily froze as she realized what she was doing and let Sparkler go. “Oh ... sorry.” Mom smiled apologetically and took a step back.
Sparkler gasped for breath once she was released from the accidental death grip, coughing a couple of times before she could speak. “Holy hay... I thought Dinks was bad.” She slowly regained her composure as she gave all of us a questioning look. Big surprise, she was a bit confused why my mom had suddenly decided to test if she was real with the most enthusiastic hug ever. “Uh ... hi?”
“Sweetie?” I heard Ditzy call from further inside the manor. “Who's at the door?”
“It's me and my parents, Ditzy,” I called back. “We ... have some news we need to discuss.” And now the really awkward part could get started.
Mom cleared her throat. “Yes, sorry, may we come in?”
“Um, sure.” Sparkler opened the door wider to allow us inside.
It was as Sparkler closed the door behind us that I heard the thumping of small hooves making their way down the nearby stairs. A small, gray blur sped towards us and then attached itself to Mom’s leg. “Miss Twiliiight!” Dinky cheered, nuzzling Mom’s leg with her typical enthusiasm.
Mom instinctively drew her granddaughter into a hug. “Hello there, Dinky.”
Dinky gasped, realization dawning in her eyes when she saw that she was hugging the wrong Twilight. As with everything involving her, it was adorable. “Whoooa, that’s right! You’re Twilight’s mommy, Mrs. Twilight!”
Mom smiled down at her. “That’s right.”
“Nice to see you again!” Dinky squeezed Mom’s leg, probably momentarily cutting off the circulation before letting her go and hugging her originally intended target. “Hi, Miss Twilight! Nice to see you too!”
“It’s nice to see you too, Dinky” Before the cute moment could settle in too much, the reasons for why we had come her to start with pressed down on me. “We ... um ... have a lot to discuss. Mind if we sit down to talk?”
“Sure,” Sparkler said warily. She led us to the living room. I couldn't help but look at Sparkler like it was the first time—as though I didn't really know her. Could this really be my long-lost sister? Princess Celestia’s letter had said she was, and she would never lie to me. Still, the whole situation was so surreal. I would have preferred to have taken more time to think it all over, but when Mom heard the news she wouldn't hear anything about waiting—she wanted to see Amethyst, and that was the end of the conversation as far as she was concerned.
Before we could get settled, Ditzy trotted in. She blinked when she saw us and halted in place. “Twilight?” Her eyes darted to my parents. “Is everything okay?”
“Um, hello, Ditzy,” Dad said. “Could we all sit down?”
Something dawned on Ditzy’s expression, likely she guessed what this would be about. “Yes, yes! Sitting! Is good.” She waved us to the couch and cushions in the living rooms. “What's going on?”
Mom sat Dinky down on her lap as she sat down on the couch. “We need to talk about a few things.”
“Like ... what, exactly?” Sparkler asked as she sat down on the opposite couch with me.
“Um ... family things. About family, and togetherness...” I said, feeling more awkward with every passing word. I really wish I had some notecards to help guide me through this conversation.
Mom gave Ditzy a serious look. “It's about some serious issues, so I hope you’ll let us get through this.”
Ditzy nodded slowly and spoke with a cautious edge. “Okay...”
Dinky gave Mom one of her loving hugs. “Okay! Let's all take turns. You go first, 'kay Missus Twilight?”
Mom cleared her throat. “Well, now that I'm here, it feels like I've lost a bit of steam.” Mom drew herself up. “We have quite a bit of ground to cover with each other.”
“And that means?” Sparkler asked, a hint of annoyance in her voice. Little surprise she was growing impatient after the way Mom had hugged her.
“Sparkler, be nice,” Ditzy said with maternal warning for her teenage daughter.
“Sorry, Mom,” Sparkler crossed her forelegs over her chest, not looking particularly apologetic. “Just kinda want to know what’s going on.”
At this point, I just wanted it to get out. The pressure had just been building and building within me since we had arrived. We were all just staring at one another, waiting for somepony, anypony to make the first move. “You're my sister and Dinky's my niece!” I blurted out. I covered my mouth as I realized what I had just said.
Everypony stared at me with varying levels of surprise, shock, and disbelief. Sparkler was the first one to recover. “Sorry, what?”
Mom moved in to save me from my own outburst. “With all the subtlety of a sledgehammer, what my daughter said is correct.” She let out a long-suffering sigh. “Sparkler is my daughter and Dinky is our grandchild. I gave her up when I shouldn't have. Dinky ... well, I think you know that story better than I do, Ditzy.”
“Huh?” Sparkler looked to each of the ponies in the room as though she were expecting, no, hoping that this was some sort of cruel joke. Seeking guidance from her mom, Derpy’s only reply was to hold a pillow tight to her chest and make some kind of unintelligible noise.
Dinky let out a surprised gasp and turned her attention to me. “You're my auntie? An' Sparky's your sister?! But if she's My sister, an' if she's your sister, she's my auntie—but you're my auntie.” Dinky rubbed her head. Trying to untangle the different branches of the family tree would have taken an adult a while to do, much less a child like Dinky who didn't even have all the facts yet. “I'm sooo confuuused!”
“I—” Sparkler blinked and then looked at me, examining my features and then that of my—our mom. Something flashed behind her eyes. Recognition perhaps?
“Um ... hi?” I asked, at a loss about what to say now that we were at this juncture.
Sparkler let out a squeak and looked to Ditzy, desperation in her eyes. “Mom? What's going on?”
“I—I don't know.” Ditzy turned her gaze to Mom. “How?”
Mom took another deep breath. “I ... I gave up Sparkler after she was born. That was a mistake on my part, something I'm trying very, very hard to fix now. I want to make everything right again. I realize it isn't going to be easy. But I need to...” Mom wiped at one of her eyes and her voice became more strained and tight as she continued. “I didn't know where you went, and I just found out ... here you are, after all these years. I needed to see you, had to see you.”
Dad wrapped a leg around Mom’s shoulders in a supportive hug. Dinky glanced about, looking confused by what she was seeing and hearing. Eventually she settled on giving Mom one of her get-better hugs, which Mom returned.
Sparkler turned to me, and she spoke softly, as though exploring new ground. “Um ... hey, I guess.” She drew me into a hug that I returned.
“Hey, Amethyst. I missed you,” I said. I blinked as my eyes started to sting. I was hugging her, my long lost sister. It almost didn't seem real, but here we were.
“You did?” Sparkler asked.
I sniffed and nodded. “For a very long time. I thought ... you were dead for a long time.”
“Oh.” Sparkler hugged me tighter.
Seemingly satisfied that Mom had been bugged out of her sadness, Dinky gave her next hug to Dad. “Hi Mister Twilight's dad!”
Dad hugged and nuzzled her back. “'Grandpa' works just fine.”
“I ... I have a sister...” Technically two sisters. No, wait—three now. Life had been getting complicated lately.
“Yeah.” Sparkler blinked again. “Holy hay, I've got a sister. Another one—n'a brother too, jeez.”
I nodded. “So you do.” Yeah, this family had just gotten a whole lot more complicated.
“Um ... yes. And a niece.” I frowned as I contemplated some of the more practical parts of the issue. “Oh ... oh this is going to complicate the family tree.”
“That's putting it mildly,” Ditzy said.
My thoughts were interrupted when Sparkler started crying. She reapplied her hug and cried into my shoulder.
Ditzy shuffled over to Sparkler and rubbed her back. “It's okay, sweetie, it's okay. I'm here for you.”
“M'okay, m'okay.” Sparkler nuzzled me as she cried herself out.
I stroked her mane, trying to keep a hold of myself as I hugged my sister. “It's ... fine. Everything's fine. Nothing's wrong at all with the fact that I have a new sister and niece. Totally and completely fine.” My ear twitched and I smiled as best I could under the circumstances.
Sparkler sniffed and rubbed at her nose before she turned her gaze to Mom. “Hi, um ... M—” She glanced Ditzy’s way before bringing herself to continue. “Hi, Mom.”
Mom returned with a hopeful smile. “Hi, Am—Sparkler. It's good to see you.”
She sniffed and nodded. “Yeah, you too.”
Mom shifted in her seat and wrung her hooves. “I know I can't demand of it from you, but I hope I can, someday, set things right with you. I want to be a part of your life. A good part of it.” She gazed down at Dinky with a warm smile and nuzzled her. “Both of your lives.”
Sparkler bit her lip. I could only imagine the emotions that must have been going through her. It couldn't have been easy growing up as an orphan. “I'll—I—that's—Ishouldgo!” She jumped off the couch. Without giving us an opportunity to stop her, she quickly trotted towards the exit of the room.
“Sparkyyy!” Dinky was the first in motion as she leapt from Mom’s lap to take off after her sister. “Ya gotta come back!”
“Oh dear...” I didn't want her leaving, not now. Not after I had just found out who she was. I teleported in front of her. “Sparkler, wait!”
“Augh!” She staggered to a halt. Dinky took the opportunity to grab her hindleg.
Mom was the next to join the ponies surrounding Sparkler. Though she kept a respectful distance from her rediscovered daughter. “Please, we want to talk.”
Sparkler jerked her head back and forth, her eyes growing wide as she looked for an escape. She backed away from us until she hit the wall. Sobs started wracking her side and she slid down to the floor. Wrapping her forelegs around Dinky, tears fell down her cheeks as she began hyperventilating.
Great, just great, we had confronted her with the truth and now she was falling apart on us. Had it been a big mistake on my part to even open Celestia’s letter? Maybe this had all been some secret test on her part? One where I wasn't even supposed to open the letter and leave well enough alone. But now that I had come this far, what was I supposed to do? I was tearing Sparkler’s world down around her, I had to fix this.
“I know how to fix this problem!” I declared. “This is something I can make better!” I conjured forth a brown paper bag. “Here you go!” I gave Sparkler the bag and she immediately started using it to breathe in. Perfect, exactly as planned.
Mom sighed as she watched Sparkler breathed into the bag. “Ditzy, could we get her to the couch to lie down for a bit? I'm afraid we’ve overwhelmed her.”
Sparkler’s tears kept coming as the bag repeatedly expanded and then compressed again. “M'okay, m'okay, m'okay...”
I helped Sparkler to shaky hooves. “Alright, here we go...” We guided her to the couch, where she lay down and started quivering. Seeing her daughter's discomfort, Ditzy sat next to her and gently ran her hoof through her mane.
“Give her a minute,” Ditzy said. “She'll come out of it before long.” She tried to sound confident when she said that, but there was a trace of worry in her voice.
Mom rubbed at her face and shook her head. “I'm so sorry for dumping all of this on you. I just... I had to see her when I found out. After so many years, I promised myself if I ever had the opportunity to find her again...” Her shoulders slumped as she trailed off. It was an off-putting sight to me. Mom had always been such a source of strength in my life and now ... now she just looked tired, haggard—old, even.
I had concentrated for so long on how much her lies had hurt me that I hadn't really considered how it might affect her. Her pain didn't erase what she did but ... maybe I could forgive her, with time.
Sparkler mumbled something unintelligible and Ditzy nuzzled her. Ditzy motioned to the other side of the couch for Mom to sit, and she joined them. I could only imagine what was going through Ditzy’s head right then, but it seemed for now she was at least going to give Mom a chance.
Slowly, Sparkler’s breathing started to calm as she became more aware of her surroundings. She took a long breath and looked back and forth between her moms. “Sorry, m'okay now.” The three of them exchanged hugs and nuzzles, something Sparkler seemed to drink in during such a hard time for her.
Dinky reached her limit for how long she could stand to the side, and she hopped onto the couch to hug her sister. “Hey, Sparky? I know Miss Twilight's your sister an' all, but ... can I still be your sister too?”
“Hey, c'mere.” Sparkler pulled her into a close hug. “No matter what else, you'll always be my little sister. S'like when I came home—I just got more family, now.”
“We can work out the details in time,” Mom assured her.
Sparkler nodded. “S'the same with Mom. I'll always be her daughter. Even if I'm somepony else's, too.”
Mom smiled at Ditzy. “Yes, thank you for taking care of her, Ditzy. I ... well, there is no way I'll ever be able to properly thank you.”
“It's been my pleasure. Really.” Ditzy smiled back. “I couldn't love her any more if I'd given birth instead.”
Ditzy was being a saint in all of this. If she had yelled at us after telling her the truth and threw us out on our rears, I'm not sure I would have been able to blame her.
“I hope you'll work with us to, well, figure everything out,” Mom said. “I'm not going to begin to pretend this is going to be easy.”
“But it is doable,” I finished for her. “We're going to make it work.”
Ditzy nodded. “Family isn't always easy. But it's definitely worth it.” She didn't get any arguments from us as she kissed Sparkler’s forehead. “So, if she's Sparkler's niece, then...”
Dinky’s eyes widened further and further until they we're the size of dishes. “Oh my gosh!” A big smile worked its way onto her face. “I've got a daddy!” She ran over to Mom and all but collided into her with a hug. “Who is he?! When do I get to see him?”
Mom couldn't keep her smile from being terribly strained. The really awkward questions were now coming up, and there wasn't any avoiding them now. “You do have a father, Dinky. It's ... just going to be a bit before you can see him. He's really busy at the moment.”
“Er ... yeah. Busy,” I said, feeling terrible as I aided in the half-truth. Why did all of this have to happen at such an inconvenient moment?
Dinky’s ears wilted. “Aww....” The idea she was going to have to wait to meet her dad had to be crushing for the little filly. How many times must she have wondered about her sire? The fact Ditzy didn't have the answers Dinky wanted couldn't have been easy on either of them.
“All in good time.” Mom gave her a hug to try and make her feel better. “I promise, you'll get to see him as soon as we can arrange it.”
“'Kay,” Dinky said with a very uncharacteristic lack of energy.
“I bet he'll be really happy to meet you,” I tried to reassure her. True, he was probably going to freak when he first found out, but I could see him coming around to the idea of being a dad once he got his mental balance back. We were definitely going to tell him before he met Dinky.
Mom nodded. “Oh yes, you'll find out he's a great stallion.”
“He just needs some time, Muffin,” Ditzy said.
“Yeah.” Sparkler let out a short bark of a laugh. “Don't need him getting all panicky like me, right?”
Dinky’s ears perked back up a little bit. “Oooh, that'd be bad!”
“Exactly.” Mom started stroking Dinky’s mane. “And in the meantime, you still have the rest of us.”
That caused Dinky’s ears to perk up all the way. “Oh yeah, that's right!”
“And we'd all really like to get to know you better.” I looked up at Sparkler. “Both of you.”
“Yes, we would love to do that,” Mom said. “We have a lot of catching up to do.”
Dinky nodded enthusiastically. “We've got so much stuff to do! You gotta meet my godmom, Rainbow Dash—she's Mommy's best friend an' the coolest godmom ever! Oh, an' ya gotta meet Miss Star too—she's Sparky's special somepony, an' she's pretty cool too, even if she's just as big a brat as Sparky.”
Mom made the barest of flinches when Dinky mentioned Star. “A special somepony?”
Sparkler smiled sheepishly. “Yeah ... her name's Star Kicker. She's really cool, we’ve been going out for a few weeks now.”
“Then I look forward to getting to know her later,” Mom said through teeth that were only slightly clenched. It seemed that while Mom was happy to have her missing daughter back, the idea that her teenage daughter was dating didn’t sit nearly so well, at least for the moment.
Seeing the tension in the room, Ditzy said, “For what it's worth, she's already run the gauntlet with me.”
Mom smiled wolfishly. “No sense not running her through the gauntlet again, right?”
As I thought over the fact that Sparkler was dating Star Kicker, a realization struck me. “Oh sweet Celestia, my sister is dating Cloud's cousin!”
Sparkler snickered and patted my back. “At this point, is that really the worst revelation we could have?”
Ditzy shook her head. “No, probably not.”
“At least we know you'll adjust just fine to our flavor of crazy,” Dad said.
Mom poked Dad’s chest. “Why honey, are you suggesting something might be odd about our family?”
Dad chuckled. “I like to think of it as lovably eccentric.”
Sparkler chuckled with Dad. “He’s got a point, I guess.”
I frowned, still not liking the idea of my sister dating family of a mare I was semi-dating. “Still...”
“Worried about the two of you dating in the same family, Twilight?” Mom asked.
Dinky’s face scrunched up in thought. “I don't think genie-ologies are supposedta do that.”
“It's just ... odd,” I finally settled with. “I never even realized that ... it was ... oh dear.”
“Having trouble processing that?” Mom asked.
“I think it's maybe a delayed reaction to all the ... everything.” Everything was rushing at me in a torrent. It had all happened so quickly. Finding out about Sparkler, coming to the Doo Manor to talk with everypony over what we had found out, revealing the truth, the fact Sparkler was dating—I wasn’t prepared for all of it.
Sparkler held back a snicker. Mostly. “Star's gonna laugh herself sick once she gets wind of this.”
Ditzy chuckled at the odd situation. “I know what you mean.”
Mom rubbed one of my shoulders. “Trust me, if you need to lie down for a bit, nopony would blame you.”
I took a long breath to calm myself. “I think I'll be okay.”
“If you gotta go lie down, can I come with you?” Dinky hugged me. “We can snuggle!”
“Sure thing, Dinky,” I said, trying to sound confident.
“I'm sure your niece is going to want to spend plenty of time with you,” Mom said.
“Yeah!” Dinky nodded vigorously. “But don't worry—I'll come back an' snuggle you too, 'kay?”
“Yeah, careful—Dinky's a snuggler,” Sparkler said.
“It is sweet of her.” I hugged Dinky back, feeling better as I did so. It was odd, hugging the niece I hadn’t even known about not too long ago.
Mom patted Dinky’s back. “Twilight was right about how adorable you are.”
Ditzy beamed at the praise of her daughter. “She's the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Mom smiled fondly at me. “I know that's true of my children.”
Sparkler nuzzled me. “I can believe it. Twi's been awesome so far.”
I felt my cheeks flush. “Aww, thanks. But I didn't do anything that special...”
“Says my little filly who’s saved Equestria,” Mom said.
Sparkler nodded in agreement. “While sparing time to teach magic to a stranger's kids.”
“Whoooa!” Dinky’s eyes widened. “You're almost as cool as Rainbow Dash!”
Dad let out a short chuckle. “That sounds like high praise.”
“Well, Rainbow and I did work together to save Equestria,” I said with a modicum of sarcasm. Of course, I didn’t know what exact version of the story Rainbow had told Dinky. For all I knew, she might have .... highlighted her parts in that story.
“Maybe we could get caught up over dinner?” Mom asked. “It seems like we have a lot to get caught up over.”
“And lunch,” Ditzy agreed. “And I think there's still some coffee going, if you wanted to get started.”
“Might as well,” Mom said. “I have a feeling we’re going to be having a long talk.”
It was nice that everything was finally settling down after so many weeks of craziness. There was a point where it felt like my whole life was getting turned on its head. Finding out about two half-sisters and a niece you didn't know about, your brother getting married, and having said marriage nearly derailed by love-sucking bugs would do that.
There was still a lot of ground to cover and a lot of thorny issues to sort through, but it at least felt manageable. At least relatively manageable, if we were lucky. After everything that happened at the Doo Manor, Ditzy had asked that we give her and her family some room to let everything sink in. That memory caused a pang of guilt spread in my chest. We had dumped a lot on Ditzy and her family. Part of me was still getting over the shock of everything that was revealed. I could only imagine what Ditzy, Sparkler, and Dinky were going through. I didn’t doubt they needed the space, and I had every intention of giving it to them.
Granted, we still had a long way to go. We had only begun to address Sparkler being abandoned, the outstanding issues with Shiny and Dinky, where we stood with one another, and a dozen other issues. Just one talk wasn’t even going to begin to cover all of that. Our first talk had gone well, but when I thought on it, I didn’t see all of them going nearly so well. Sparkler and Ditzy had some legitimate reasons for being angry, and sooner or later, that anger was going to express itself once the shock wore off.
Shining was going to need to be told about them, and I doubted he was going to be thrilled to hear he had a long-lost daughter. The good news was that I had my parents and Ditzy to help break it to him, once he got back from his honeymoon. They also said I had gone through enough stress for a while, between organizing the wedding and then defending it, and encouraged me to go back to Ponyville to relax. While I felt at least in part responsible for this whole situation, I couldn't argue that I did need some time away from all this craziness.
Dinky was a whole other issue entirely. I was initially worried about her telling everypony she had a dad and that she was going to meet him. There would of course be a time for that, but now wasn't quite it. Not until we could bring Shining and Cadance up to speed about his daughter and give them time to digest that. It was the only fair thing to do, after all. Thankfully, we had been able to impress on Dinky how important it was to keep who her dad was a secret for now, even if it hadn't been easy. Hopefully she wouldn't accidently let it slip, but only time could tell.
More than a little bit of me was sad that Dinky hadn’t shown up to her weekly magic lessons. I hoped that wouldn’t become a long-term issue, but I didn’t have the confidence to approach Ditzy or her family about that quite yet. I would see how things stood in a couple of weeks.One bit of good news was that I was continuing to exchange letters with Vinyl, which for now seemed good enough. And who knew? Maybe in good time I would get to spend time with Sparkler and Dinky.
Still, what would come would come, and I would deal with it as it came. Sitting in the library and catching up on my reading was certainly a lot calmer than having to plan two weddings back-to-back, never mind the other family drama. I had fallen a bit behind on my book list, so it was nice to be able to catch up.
I was in the middle of making some notes when someone knocked. “Hello? Anypony sexy in here?” Cloud said through the door.
Wondering what Cloud was up to, I opened the door and grinned at her. “Sorry, only librarians.”
Cloud returned my grin. “Librarians are very sexy.”
“I'll just have to take your word on that,” I said, intentionally sounding disinterested to tease her. No sense letting her have it that easy.
“Nah, put yourself in some nice glasses and artfully tousle that mane a bit, and I'd go wild for you,” Cloud said.
I snorted with amusement. “Shame I don't have a problem with my vision, then.”
Cloud let out an exaggerated sigh. “Alas, the sexy librarian look only works with glasses.”
“I guess I'm just doomed to unsexiness then,” I said, with overstated dissapointment.
“Or you'll just need to go for a different version of sexiness.” Cloud gently brushed aside my mane to get a better look at me. “You've got no shortage of options.”
“That would be the optimistic look at it,” I said. “So, you want to come in, or shall we hold an entire conversation at the door?” Considering she had knocked, that probably meant she wanted to come in to visit. Though I wasn’t sure exactly why. The two of us really hadn’t talked since we had last seen each other in Canterlot. Of course, that might be exactly why she wanted to see me.
“Since you asked so nicely...” Cloud grinned and trotted inside.
“I figured it might be a bit rude to not let you in.” I closed the door after her. “I'm sure you would just look sad, standing outside all day like a puppy out in the rain.”
“If it was raining.” A mischievous smirk creased her lips. “But since I'm a weatherpony, I could arrange that.”
“Rainbow would probably have something to say about that,” I pointed out.
“That's true.” Cloud puckered out her lips in a sexy pout. “You gonna tell on me?”
“I don't know.” I poked her chest teasingly. “Rainbow is my friend. She might get upset if I kept a secret from her. Especially when you’re being bad.”
Cloud somehow managed to make her pout even more attractive. “But I thought you liked me...”
“I do.” My resolve faltered as I couldn’t look away from that cute pout. She really was good at pouting when she turned it up.
Cloud gave me a friendly nuzzle and I returned it. “And I know I like you.”
“It's a bit obvious,” I said.
Cloud smiled warmly. “And speaking of liking you, I still owe you a date.”
After considering that for a moment, I nodded. “That is true, and I'm going to guess that because you're here you had something in mind.”
“Yup. I was thinking we could stay in.” Cloud gestured at the interior of the library with a wing. “It is the third date, after all.”
I tilted my head at the unusual suggestion. “Huh, really? I never really thought of a date taking place indoors. At least not to start with.”
“All a date takes is two ponies spending time together,” Cloud pointed out. “As long as it’s the two of us and we’re enjoying one another’s company, then it’s a date.”
“That is true.” I rubbed at my chin. I hadn’t really expected a date all of a sudden, but then again, I didn’t have to stick with my schedule, and often didn’t when something came up. Otherwise, being a friend with somepony as spontaneous as Pinkie Pie would be very difficult. Thankfully, Spike was visiting Rarity to help her out on some project, so I didn’t have any awkwardness from that angle. “It seems worth giving a shot. At the very least it would be something a bit different.”
“Yeah, I think so.” Cloud gestured towards the kitchen. “Want me to cook? I could make you something nice.”
“I could help,” I offered.
“Sounds like fun.” Cloud lead the way to the kitchen. “What are you in the mood for?”
“Hm, I'm good for just about anything,” I said. “That is, if we have the ingredients in the kitchen. Otherwise we’re going to need to head to the market to get something.” I checked the clock and, to my mild surprise, saw that time had gotten away from me. Who knew a book about electro-harmonic resonance could hold your attention like that. “Assuming anyplace is open anymore.”
“Right, I suppose we can see what you have, then decide from there,” Cloud offered.
“Sounds good. No sense getting ahead of ourselves.” I started looking around the kitchen to take an account of what we had available to cook. “Spike does most of the cooking here. He really likes to cook. So I'm not always aware about everything we have on hoof.”
Cloud let out a fake sounding gasp. “You mean you don't have an alphabetized and itemized list?”
“I do!” An old, well known annoyance boiled up in me. “But I don't have it memorized! And Spike doesn't always keep track of what he uses, so it's almost always inaccurate.”
There was a noticeable passage of a moment before Cloud spoke up. “I'm gonna guess that bugs you, so dropping the topic.”
“Just a bit,” I grumbled.
“Sorry something in your life isn't perfectly ordered and itemized.” Cloud pecked me on the cheek.
I huffed. “Story of my life.”
“So, let's bring order to chaos by turning these ingredients into food.” She bumped my hip with her own and turned to the pantry, looking its contents over as we considered what to make. “How about some sort of pasta or a casserole?”
“Both of those sound good to me.” I checked the icebox to make sure we would have enough fresh produce for something like that.
“Hmm.” Cloud rubbed at her chin. “Split the difference and make a pasta casserole?”
“Sure, let’s go with that.” Using my magic, I levitated everything we would need to the kitchen counter.
Cloud helped get everything ready by pulling items out of the pantry. “Pasta, cheese, veggies, and some soup to tie it all together.”
“That should work just fine,” I said. “I take it you know the exact recipe for this?”
Cloud examined what we had spread out, nodded in satisfaction that everything was set, and then got to work preparing the ingredients. “Not an exact one, but I learned the rules of making a good casserole from my uncle.”
“I believe you mentioned him and casseroles once.” I stepped up next to her to begin chopping up the vegetables.
Cloud nodded as she went about setting up the pasta as a base in the glass dish we were using to put the casserole in. “He makes the best carrot casserole around.”
I pushed the vegetables that I had cut for Cloud to put into the dish. “I'm willing to give it a shot. Hopefully Spike won't mind us using anything. Sometimes he plans meals well in advance.”
“He'll survive.” Cloud spread some tomato soup on the bottom of the dish and then added a layer of cheese on top.”
“Probably,” I said. “And I can always apologize to him later if he gets annoyed.” If he got grumpy about it, I could always give him a gem or two to make him feel better. Besides, if he wanted to make sure I didn't use something I wasn't supposed to, then he should have made a list of what was off-limits and put it up somewhere where I could have seen it.
“Yeah, I'm sure if he gets that worked up over it, you can deal with him.” Cloud added the vegetables, and once that was done, splayed in more soup and cheese. “Hope you're taking notes, Duchess. Some day you might want to make a casserole on your own.”
“Oh, right!” I grabbed a pencil and notebook sitting on the counter by the icebox. The pencil flew over the paper as I wrote down everything we had done thus far for the casserole.
Cloud snickered as she watched me. “I wasn't being serious.”
The pencil stopped when I heard that. “You weren't?”
“No, silly sexy Twilight.” Cloud playfully booped me on the nose. “I'm just teasing you.”
A bashful smile worked its way onto my face. “Would you mind if I kept making notes? I mean I've already started writing, and I don't want to forget any details if I want to make this again, not to mention if I want to give Spike instructions on how you cook this...”
“As long as you remember the most important rule of all.” Cloud grinned and leaned her head in a bit closer to mine. “Kiss the cook.”
I rolled my eyes at the little bit of cheesiness. “No sense letting you go disappointed.” I kissed her on the lips, something she readily returned. Cloud really was a corrupting influence; she had gotten me to kiss her on the fly and everything. Admittedly, it was pretty fun.
“I would be most upset if you hadn't,” Cloud said.
“Crisis averted.” I waggled my eyebrows at her. “Sexily.”
Cloud chuckled. “That’s the best way to avert a crisis.”
The two of us finished up the rest of the pasta together, putting on a final layer of cheese and adding seasoning from the well-stocked supplies available. Cloud rubbed her chin as she examined the casserole. “Any last touches you want, or shall we put it in the oven?”
“It looks good to me,” I said. “Might as well get it going.”
“Alright then.” Cloud carefully put the pasta into the oven. “And now we just need to wait until it's done. Probably about forty-five minutes to an hour, so I hope you have something fun for us to do while we wait.”
“I'm sure we can come up with something,” I said as I set the egg-timer.
“I'm sure you've got some games we could play,” Cloud said.
I nodded. “Oh definitely. they're all upstairs.”
“Upstairs it is, then.” Cloud lead the way to the stairs and I followed her.
As we ascended the stairs, I noticed her rump swaying back and forth in time with her hoofsteps. Technically speaking, it was a nice butt to watch in motion. It was when I thought that that I realized I had been staring at her rear and immediately started blushing at my behavior.
Cloud reached the top of the stairs and stopped, giving her rump a final little waggle as she grinned down at me. “You coming?”
Darn it, she had been doing that on purpose. She just couldn't stop herself, now could she. “Y-yes! Of course. I'm coming!” I hurried up the stairs after her.
“Words I'll be hearing again before the night is over, if I play my cards right,” Cloud said with a wide grin.
I narrowed my eyes. “Reeeal classy there.”
“I'm always classy,” she said with confidence. “So where are the games?”
Putting aside Cloud’s crassness, I headed over to the closet that contained the games. “Oh, we have a large variety of games to play. Was there one in particular you were wanting to play?”
“Your choice,” Cloud said.
I hummed as I looked at the game boxes. “It would probably be best if we picked something quick.” Seeing something Cloud might like, I pulled the game out and showed it to Cloud. “So how about Twister?”
“Sounds good,” Cloud said.
“Great.” I quickly spread the game mat along the floor. “I figured you would like something a bit physical anyways, and it is pretty short.”
Cloud pulled out the spinner and placed it down next the mattress. “It's nice for working up an appetite.”
I grinned. “Then this should be highly efficient. So, you want to go first?”
“Sure.” Cloud spun the spinner.
Cloud examined the spinner some time later. “Right hind leg ... blue.”
“Um.” I stretched out my hind leg to try and reach a blue circle, but I was coming up short. It would have been a bit easier if my forelegs weren’t in an awkward knot with one another. “I think I might be stuck...”
“Lemme see if I can...” Cloud shifted around, she was in a better position to move around than I was. Still, she slipped slightly and we suddenly found our chests pressing against one another.
I smiled awkwardly as the two of us were nearly face to face with one another. “Seems we're both a bit stuck now.”
Cloud grinned, clearly enjoying the awkward moment. “Yes. Yes we are. Can you reach it now?”
“Err.” The new position allowed me to stretch my leg a bit to reach the blue circle. “Yes!”
“Nice.” Cloud used a free hoof to spin the spinner again. “Some day, we have to try out my homerules for this game.”
“Oh? And what homerules would those be?” I asked.
“Well, I place the hooves on other locations.” A mischievous spark lit in Cloud’s eyes. “For instance... Twilight's lips to Cloud's.”
I chuckled at her boldness. “Ah, now I understand. Your homerules turn it into that type of game. Well, as long as we're having fun...” I kissed her lightly on the lips.
Cloud gently returned my kiss, murmuring in pleasure as she did so. “Cloud's hoof to Twi's chest.” Her hoof touched my chest gently to caress it.
I giggled, feeling giddy as I did so. “This is silly.”
“A bit, yeah. Fun, though.” Cloud spun again, but this time she didn’t even pretend to look at the results. “Twi's hoof to Cloud's rump.”
I placed my hoof on her rear and started rubbing it. It still felt odd to be doing something like that, but ... engaging, I would say. “I can see you’re enjoying this.”
“Yes, yes I am.” The game forgotten, she stroked my cheek.
I felt my cheeks warm. “Looks like I picked the right game, then.”
“I'd say so.” Cloud drew me into a hug. “I like this kind of thing.”
I hugged her back, enjoying the warm touch of her coat on mine. “I can see the appeal of it.”
Cloud placed my head on her chest and gently ran her hoof through my mane. “Mmm, I could get used to this.”
“Can you now?” I leaned up against her. Her support felt nice. Natural, even. “I think I could too.”
“Who would've thought we'd get this cozy with each other?” Cloud asked.
“It's a bit crazy,” I said. “Though it probably helps that you're so ... forward? Bold. Bold is probably the world. With me being an introvert...”
Cloud smiled, though I couldn’t read the exact emotion behind it. “I like bold. Fortune favors the bold. And ... I guess I did kinda help you out of your shell.”
“You did.” I nuzzled her soft chest. “I never really considered getting into a relationship with anypony before I met you. Not seriously, anyways.”
“Thinking about it now?” Cloud asked.
I nodded. “At least experimentally. It's at least worth trying out, I think. Considering I am enjoying this.”
“Just gotta find the right pony now,” Cloud said.
“That's always the trick to it, now isn't it?” I rubbed her chest.
“Yeah. I ... well, I'm a bit taken as far as long term relationships go.” Cloud shrugged. “Kinda. Still working out exactly where I am with Blossom and Eepy.”
I sighed and nodded. Once again, old baggage was making life difficult for me. Why did nothing seem simple? Fluttershy didn’t want anything to do with me romantically because of Cloud, and now Cloud was committed to a relationship with her two fillyfriends. Figures I would get involved with a pony already in a love triangle. I sure knew how to pick them, and I was feeling my old reflexes to just dump the whole romance thing completely reassert itself.
“Right, right, and that all is why I didn't exactly seek you out for this third date,” I said. “I didn't want to mess up what you three had going on. Not when it seemed to be making all of you happy.”
Cloud smiled appreciatively. “Thoughtful of you. But you didn't really want long term from me anyway, did you?”
I pressed my lips together as I considered the question. “I don't know. I mean, I've never done any of this before. If you come to love a pony, wouldn't you want it to become long term? Or at least give a relationship the opportunity to see where it goes.”
Cloud blinked. “Er ... are you saying you love me?”
I blushed when I realized how my words must have sounded to her. “Er, not seriously. At least I don't think so. Remember the whole inexperienced issue I brought up earlier? This is probably just a friend thing, but I'm not exactly the best pony at judging where my heart is on this sort of subject.”
Cloud nodded. “Right, that. I mean, I love you to bits too, but in a more ... er ... fond way than what I've got with Eepy and Blossom.”
“I can understand that.” While I could understand, it still hurt for Cloud to say that. Really, I was happy for the three of them, and I knew everything Cloud had said was right. It just seemed that rejection always hurt, whatever the circumstances. I slowly removed my hooves from her. “And you're probably not really interested in me. Especially when you've got going on with Fluttershy and Blossomforth.”
“Depends on what you mean by ‘really’ interested,” Cloud said. “Long-term committed relationship? Probably not in the cards. Something a bit more casual?” She leaned in and kissed me, and where her words might have failed in getting across her message, her kiss certainly didn't. She cared about me, maybe not in the way she did for Fluttershy and Blossomforth, but she cared.
“Could you define ‘casual’ for me?” I asked, feeling a bit giddy while doing so. “Sorry, this being the first time I have done this. I want to make sure I understand where we're both standing.”
Cloud looked me in the eyes and smiled. “Basically? We do the fun stuff, and don't stress over commitments and where our relationship's going. We're friends. And if you're feeling a bit ... feel like you want some physical release, I'll do the friendly thing and help you with that.”
“And that wouldn't cause any issues with the others?” I asked. “I don't want to do anything to risk what you have with them.”
“Both of them understand that I have some special friends I fool around with sometimes,” Cloud assured me. “Doesn't mean I don't love them, or that they're not the most important ponies to me. It's ... we're still figuring it all out, but it's alright.”
I was still a bit worried about how all of this might turn out, even if we kept things casual. I had never done anything like this before, so I didn't want to mess anything up for anypony, especially my friends. “If you're sure about that. It's not like I'm so desperate I need to be a homewrecker.” If it came right down to it, it wouldn't be the end of the world to end any romantic entanglements with Cloud. It might not be fun, but I could do it if it was the right thing to do.
“No homes are being wrecked, Twilight.” Cloud placed a hoof over her heart. “That's a promise.”
After thinking everything over again, I nodded. “Good. I think we can make this work, at least for the short term.”
“I think so too,” Cloud said.
“And we can figure out the details as we go, I think.” I rubbed my chin as I considered the practical side of the issue. “I'm sure I can add that to my schedule.”
Cloud grinned with amusement. “So from now on, Twilight's monthly schedule has a ‘bang Cloud Kicker’ slot?”
Despite myself, I smiled at the rib. “How about we just mark it down as a 'Spend Time With Cloud' slot, or maybe ‘Special Time With Cloud?”
“Works for me.” Cloud pecked my cheek.
“Glad we can agree.” I nuzzled her and felt much more confident about the situation.
“So ... how about we—” Cloud sniffed at the air. “Oooh, casserole. We better get to it before it burns.”
“Burned casserole is a huge waste.”
It wasn't long after that before the two of us were sitting at the dining room table with the steaming casserole between us. We ate in silence until the edge was taken off of our hunger, trading glances over the table a few times. I finally spoke up.“So, what made you decide to stop by, anyways?”
Cloud shrugged. “Hadn't seen you for a bit. Not since Canterlot, really.”
“Hm, that is true.” I dipped my fork into the casserole as I mulled that over. It felt like a year had passed since we had really talked to one another. “Guess we've both been busy. I know I have. How have you been holding up?”
“I'm doing a lot better than I was,” Cloud said with an easy smile. “Finally got a bunch of stuff settled in my life.”
“That's good to hear,” I said. “Fluttershy seems a lot happier.”
“I hope so.” Cloud let out a long, released breath. “I want her and Blossom both to be happy.”
From everything I had heard, it had been quite a mess between those three. Ditzy too for that matter, considering she and Cloud had decided to end their relationship and just go back to being friends. “Hopefully it will be smooth sailing from here.”
Cloud nodded. “That'd be nice. How're you?”
“I'm getting along,” I said. “There was some family drama. A ton of family drama, really, but I think it's under control now. At least it’s better than it was before. Kinda, anyways. We still have a lot of work to do.”
“Yeah, Derpy told me about it.” Cloud put a mouthful of pasta on her own fork.
“She gave you all the details, then?” It felt a bit of a privacy violation to tell Cloud that little bit of information, but if there was anypony who had a right to tell anypony what was happening, it was Ditzy. That, and Cloud was a close friend of hers.
Cloud nodded. “Yeah. So Sparkler's your sister...”
I rubbed at my face, feeling some of that lingering frustration coming back. “It's a bit crazy.”
“How you handling that?” Cloud asked.
“One day at a time.” I said. “Sparkler's having a rough time with it. Explaining the whole situation to her hasn't been easy, especially when even my parents admitted they made a big mistake in giving her up. Really, I expect her to explode on them sooner or later once she’s had time to digest everything. She's just had the rug pulled out from under her, after all.”
“Oooh.” Cloud grimaced. “Yeah, that’d be rough. She'll bounce back though. She's a tough kid. I'll talk to her when I can. Sometimes it helps to have somepony not involved with a big mess to talk to.”
I smiled appreciatively. “I'd appreciate it. I... well, I just want my sister at the end of the day. And a niece out of the deal, to boot.”
“Big family expansion,” Cloud said.
“You're telling me.” I looked down and played around with the casserole on my plate. “Hopefully Shiny and Cadance take the news well.”
Cloud winced at that unpleasant, and inevitable, scenario. “Oh, that'll be a fun present for when they get back from the honeymoon.”
“No kidding.” I shook my head. “Mom and Dad say they will take care of the worst of it, but it's not something I look forward to.”
“Well, his issue to deal with,” Cloud said.
“What my parents told me,” I said, not feeling happy about the whole situation. “His mistake, his problem at the end of the day. Not that putting it that way makes me feel a whole lot better. I don’t like dumping problems on other ponies. Especially family.”
“Still, you're in a bit of spot.” Cloud reached over to pat me on the shoulder. “You're tough, trust me. And while it might be rough now, it’ll get better eventually. These things usually do.”
“Oh, I'll get through it. I'm sure about that.” I let out a sigh. “I think the worst is over, really.”
“Yeah, sounds like it.” Cloud pecked me on the lips. She hummed after doing so and chuckled. “Casserole lips.”
I chuckled too at the silliness. “It's the consequence of eating casserole.”
“That it is,” Cloud said. “I bet I have it too.”
I grinned. “Just a little bit.”
Cloud’s lips cracked in a playful grin. “Here come the casserole lips!” She leaned in, her lips pursed in a kiss.
“I have them too, you know.” I kissed her without hesitation. “That's going to be a bit hard to gross me out over.”
“Beware! My lips taste like delicious food!” Cloud said with exaggerated horror.
“Oh no! That's the worst possible thing!” I returned with equal exaggeration. “Right up there with a monster attack or a late friendship report!”
“Truly, there is nothing worse than this.” Cloud gave me more delicious, casserole flavored kisses that I returned. Without really thinking about it, our kisses lingered long and became more deep, making my heart race as a result. “Mmm. I think dinner's done. Ready for dessert?”
“A little bit of dessert wouldn't hurt,” I said, my voice airy.
“Well then...” Cloud nibbled at my neck, the sensation both ticklish and arousing. “Shall we head upstairs?”
I found myself squeaking at the sudden escalation of intimacy. “Wait, you don't mean…?”
Cloud spoke with a sultry, deep-throated voice. “Yeah ... that kind of dessert.”
That caused my face to take on a new shade of crimson. “It's so sudden.”
“Oh.” Cloud leaned away from me. “Well, if I'm going too fast...”
“All of this is a bit new to me,” I said quickly.
“Alright then.” She kissed me on the cheek that was significantly more chaste than her earlier affections. “No pressure.”
“Right, I guess I just found it as unexpected, is all.” I took a calming breath. “Though I really shouldn't have.”
“Hey, all of this is up to you,” Cloud said. “I’m not going to pressure you into anything. If you’re not comfortable, I’ll stop, just like that.”
“Mind if I ask a few questions?” I nuzzled her gently along the neck.
Cloud nodded. “Go for it.”
Thinking it over, I asked, “A big question I have is, and this is an academic question, why should we ... you know?”
“It's fun, it feels good, and we'll both enjoy it,” Cloud said.
“Though you have to admit, it's a very ... intimate activity,” I countered.
“Yeah, it is.” Cloud took my hoof and squeezed it. “But I'm okay with that. I trust you enough to let you get intimate with me.”
I squeezed her hoof back as I carefully considered my next words. “Hm, though from everything I have read, this can change a friendship. It’s a big change in a relationship.”
“Yeah, it can be,” Cloud agreed. “But change can be good.”
“True,” I said. “I don't want to make this too academic, but this is an opportunity for me to learn what this is like. I can’t help but think that.”
“It is.” Cloud drew me into a hug as she wrapped her wings around me. “But I don't want to do this unless you're sure. This should be something, not just a random experience you have.”
“That is a good question, do I want to do this?” I asked.
Cloud nuzzled me gently. “What do you think?”
After another long moment of thought, I said, “I think I would be willing to give it a chance. Or at least start.”
“That sounds good to me.” She pecked my cheek. “You set the pace and take the lead, okay? We only go as far as you’re comfortable with.”
I returned with a peck of my own. “That sounds like a good idea to me.”
Cloud nodded and leaned back, giving me room to act. “So then ... your move.”
“Right.” I nodded in the direction of the stairs. “So how about we head to the bedroom?”
“Sounds good.” The both of us stood and walked to the bedroom.
When we reached my bed, I couldn’t help but giggle giddily. “This feels a bit naughty.”
Cloud waggled her eyebrows. “The best kind of naughty”
I prodded her on the chest. “You would say that.”
“Yes, I would,” Cloud said without a hint of shame. “I'm consistent that way. So ... your move.”
“My move?” I lay on the bed. “You promise you won't laugh, whatever I do?”
Cloud moved onto the bed next to me. “Well, unless you tickle me or something.”
I chuckled. “I'm tempted to do that. But that does bring up what should I do with you?” I kissed her lovingly.
“Mmm, that's a good start,” Cloud murmured as she returned the kiss. “I'm all yours.”
“All mine?” I grinned. “A bold statement.”
“I'm a bold pony.” Cloud ran a hoof along my side, causing goosebumps to form at her touch. “And now you are, too.”
“You can tell me if I'm pushing too hard,” I said. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable either.”
“I will.” Cloud cupped my cheeks, looking me deeply in the eyes. “So ... make your move.”
I wrapped my forelegs around her neck and pressed my forehead against hers. “I think I'll do just that.”
The two of us kissed each other again. “I'm looking forward to it.”
I smiled as I committed myself to this decision. “Let's see where this leads then.”
And then we made love.
Well, that had certainly been something. Describing what that something had been was quite another thing entirely though. Not when I hadn't experienced anything quite the same in my life. No, sex was certainly a unique experience.
As the two of us lied there in my bed in the afterglow of the act, we stared into one another’s eyes. Cloud slowly and lovingly rubbed my side, a happy, content smile on her features. I smiled right back at her. “You look happy.”
“Well, yeah,” Cloud said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I just had sex.”
“Well, I hope it was as good as you were hoping for.” I know I had certainly enjoyed it.
Cloud pecked me on the lips. “You were amazing.”
I felt my cheeks warm at the compliment. “You're just saying that. I mean I felt so awkward, and only had half an idea of what I was doing, and—”
Cloud gently put a hoof on my lips before I could go further. “You. Were. Amazing.”
I smiled shyly. I did feel a bit silly, but it was good to know I hadn't botched my first time. “If you say so...”
“I do,” Cloud said without any room for debate. “And since I'm an expert on the subject...”
I snorted. “Okay, okay, Ms. Expert of Sexiness and Sexing.”
Cloud nodded sagely. “I hope you're going to listen to my expert opinion. Especially when you're a fast learner. So, don't worry if you needed a bit to learn a few things. Banging is like most skills; you need practice to get better.”
“Right, everything needs to be learned,” I said.
Cloud rubbed at my side. “And you learned as well as I'd expect from Celestia's student.” She paused for a moment before adding, “Is it just me, or does that sound a little dirty?”
“Maaaybe just a little bit,” I said.
“Hmm.” Cloud rubbed her chin, and evil grin on her face. “Next Nightmare Night: sexy Celestia.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Don't you dare.”
“You know you'd like it,” Cloud teased. “Me, dressed up as Celestia. Letting you work out some ... unresolved feelings.”
My blush became about as bad as it had ever gotten. “B-b-but she's my teacher!”
“Twi, sweetheart.” Cloud took my hoof and squeezed it. “We both know you're nursing a crush on her.”
I frowned in a pout. “It was a fillyhood crush...”
Cloud pecked me on the lips. “I think it's cute and sweet.”
“But very improper,” I pointed out.
Cloud shook her head. “Nah. Her and you hooking up would be improper. A little roleplay is harmless fun.”
“But she's the Princess!”
Cloud booped me on the nose. “Twi? Sweetie? Less post-coital prudish panic, more cuddles.”
“Oh, right. Sorry.” I gave her a shy smile.
“It's fine.” Cloud nuzzled me.
I took a moment to breath, taking in the situation I was in. “Still, that was ... wow.”
“Glad you liked it,” Cloud with a hint of smugness. “It's the best, isn't it?”
I grinned mischievously. “Hm, I don't know. I still like books a lot.”
Cloud chuckled. “Maybe instead I should show up to Nightmare Night as a sexy book.”
“Oh, then you would just drive me wild,” I said, my words dripping with sarcasm. “Nothing turns me on like a good book.”
“No way you could resist my sexy book charm,” Cloud said. “You'd read every single one of my pages.”
“Why stop with just one read-through?” I asked, playing along.
Cloud grinned. “I like the way you think.”
“What can I say?” I poked her in the chest. “You're a corrupting influence.”
“You're welcome.”
“My, isn't somepony a little bit smug?” I gave her a playfully suspicious look. “You know, a filly might get the idea you had evil intentions coming here.”
Cloud gasped. “Me? Perish the thought. My intentions were pure.”
Gave her a flat look. “Uh-huh, pure as the driven snow?”
“Exactly.” Cloud smiled widely. “My intentions were pure. Purely sexual.”
I chuckled at the joke. “Oh, good save.”
“It's the truth, I swear,” Cloud said.
“That I can believe. So...” I cuddled up with her, enjoying the warm touch of her body. “Where do we go from here?”
“Hmm.” Cloud wrapped her wings around us. “Well I like the plans we made before: friends.”
I nodded in agreement. “I would like that.”
“Good.” She gave me a kiss that I retured. “Consider it another study on friendship. You are the friendship expert, after all.”
“I'm studying friendship, not an expert,” I said.
“Well, you become an expert in something by studying it, right?” A grin spread over her face. “So, does that mean you're an expert on me now?”
“I think I've done a pretty good job of studying you.” I ran a hoof along her wing. “Though I might require some more empirical evidence to be sure I'm an expert.”
Cloud made a throaty chuckle. “Hard to get much more in-depth than you already have.”
I sighed with contentment. “Still, this was pretty nice.”
“I loved it,” Cloud said. “Big surprise.”
I poked her in the belly. “Considering how much you've wanted this?”
“Only a lot.” She pecked me on the nose. “That’s what you get for being so cute. You seduced me with your weapons-grade cuteness. Only Rainbow's cuter, and that's because she denies she's cute in the most adorable way possible.”
I snickered at the image. “She can be pretty cute, especially when she tries so hard not to be.”
Cloud chuckled. “When she starts blushing and whining that she is not cute...”
“She just makes it worse for herself,” I finished.
“She really does,” Cloud said. “Denying one's cuteness just bumps the cute levels into overdrive.”
“She is good at dooming herself like that,” I agreed. “I suppose I can't be too offended being beaten out by her.”
Cloud nodded. “Still, you've got the whole adorkable thing going for you.”
“Still not a word, but thank you.” I pecked her on the nose.
“Do you know what I mean when I say it?” Cloud asked.
“I do, yes,” I said.
Cloud waved the issue off. “Then it does what a word needs to.”
I prodded her in the chest. “This is why the dictionary can never be truly finalized, you know.”
Cloud let out a short, bark of a laugh. “Oh, and that’s my fault now?
“As much as it's anypony's fault.” I nuzzled her chest. “But in the end, I can live with that.”
“Glad to hear it.” Cloud ran her hoof through my mane as my head lied on her chest. “I would hate to be exiled from bed because I sullied the purity of the Equestrian language. Being sent to the couch is the worst.”
I turned up the sarcasm in reply. “Truly the most horrid of fates, for that means no more cuddling.”
“Exactly! I like cuddling.” To emphasis her point, she went right on ahead and cuddled with me.
“Yeah, I do too.” I cuddled right back with her, enjoying her touch as the two of us savored the moment. “Especially when they're with you.”
“Awww, that's sweet.” She wrapped her wings around us and kept stroking my mane.
“Well, you can be pretty sweet too,” I said.
“Oooh, tell me how I'm sweet,” she said with a complete lack of shame. “I'm a sucker for compliments.”
“Now I see how you and Rainbow became friends,” I said. “You're both shameless about flattery.”
Cloud nodded matter-of-factly. “It's true, I've picked up some of her bad habits. Sometimes I find myself talking about how awesome and cool things are, too.”
“Careful,” I warned, “or you might start dying your mane rainbow-colored too.”
“Or wearing one of those wigs her fanclub uses.”
I chuckled at the image of Cloud wearing one of those corny Rainbow Dash wigs. I had to wonder where Scootaloo had even got them. “Those things are pretty funny, you have to admit.”
Cloud tapped her chin in contemplation. “Actually, think I'll use one of those anyway. Too much fun to be had with one.”
“I dare you to take one of those to work someday,” I said.
Cloud exchanged grins with me. “Careful. I'll do it.”
“Oh, I don't doubt it,” I said. “But I stand by that it would be funny.”
“Can't argue with you there,” she agreed.
I nuzzled her chest and let out a content sigh. “Yeah, I think we can make this friendship work just fine. Though sooner or later we're going to have to get out of bed.”
Cloud puckered her lips out in a pout. “Do we have to?”
“Not right away,” I assured her. “But you have a job to go to sooner or later, and I have my studies.”
“Yeah, I guess. But I'm comfy.” Cloud briefly stretched before reaffirming her cuddling.
“I admit, I'm not in a rush to go anywhere,” I said.
“Me either.”
“Then let's not be in a rush to go anywhere.” I kissed her gently, and she returned the gesture.
“Works for me.” Cloud drew me close, smiling as we looked into one another’s eyes. “Twi? Don't take this the wrong way, but you mean a lot to me. So ... thanks. For this.”
I nodded. “It means a lot to me too.”
We continued to hold each other, content to lay with a pony we cared about.
The next day saw me in a pretty good mood. While I still had some unresolved feelings and questions about my encounter with her, things felt ... settled, I guess was the word for it. In any event, I had time to think over my relationship with Cloud. She certainly didn't seem to be in a rush to change the new status quo.
I was in the middle of some of the books in the library when there was a knock on the door. “Coming!” I trotted to the door and opened it. “How can I hel—AAH! Princess Luna!”
Her Highness smiled down at me. “Greetings, Twilight Sparkle. It is good to see you again.”
“Y-you too, Princess.” I laughed nervously. What was she doing at my home? Again? Unannounced? “Who is here. At my library. Again. Why does this still make me nervous? You'd think I would be used to it by now.” I laughed again.
Princess Luna’s smile took on a wolfish gleam. “In my experience, nopony quite gets used to royalty suddenly showing up at their door. In any event, may I come in? There is some business I wish to discuss with you.”
“Yes! Of course!” I stepped out of the doorway to let her in. It wasn't like I was going to tell her that she couldn't come in. She was a princess, after all.
She nodded to her guards, who took up positions on either side of the door outside, and she entered. “I trust you that this day finds you well?”
I tried to slow down the beating of my heart as I answered her. “Yes. I'm ... pretty great, actually.”
Princess Luna quirked an eyebrow. “Oh? Why is that, if I may inquire?”
“Well, um ... something really good happened last night.” My cheeks flushed as I realized where this conversation was heading.
She waved for me to continue. “Go on.”
“Um ... well ... I uh...” My words devolved into a mumble as I blushed. Was a princess really asking me aboutsomething like that?
“Ah.” Princess Luna nodded in understanding. “It's that sort of thing, is it?”
“It was ... some sort of thing, yes.” I cleared my throat. “Events occurred.”
“Illicit things, I take it?” she asked.
“Um ... maybe?” I squeaked out.
Princess Luna seemed to consider me for a long moment before speaking again. “Either way, you seem quite happy with it. I do not suppose Cloud Kicker was involved, was she?”
“Actually, she was...” And how had she known about that? Well, Cloud was Cloud, and I had been spending time with her. That much wasn't a secret.
She nodded. “I guessed as much.”
I hunched my shoulders and lowered my head as I looked up at her. “That obvious?”
“I have been lead to believe she has that effect on ponies,” she said.
I couldn't help but chuckle at that statement of the obvious. “I guess so.”
“Hopefully you took a few things away from your time with Cloud,” Princess Luna said. “It was my hope that you would.”
“Er ... yes.” I felt myself returning to more familiar territory, or at least country that looked like it was in the right hemisphere. “More than a few things. It was ... well, odd at first. But nice.”
Princess Luna smile warmly. “Good. Even if it did not seem easy for you to start with...”
“I stuck with it,” I finished.
“That is not always easy,” she said. “Especially with a difficult assignment.”
I shook my head, remembering the difficulties I had with the assignment studying Cloud Kicker and my interactions with her. “No, it wasn't easy. But I think ... I'm glad I did it.”
“Oh? Why is that?” she asked.
After considering the question, I said, “It was ... new. And good.”
Princess Luna hummed in agreement. “Often new experiences can be, when you give them the chance.”
I nodded. “Just like friendship was. So ... I'm glad I did it.”
“As long as it was your decision and it made you happy.” To my surprise, Princess Luna actually nuzzled me. “That is what is most important.”
I blushed nervously at the Royal Nuzzle. “Um ... yes.”
Her Highness grinned, looking pleased with herself. “Pray tell, I am not embarrassing you too much, now am I?”
“Um ... not too much.” I managed to say.
Princess Luna leaned in to whisper conspiratorially to me. “Well, a little bit of embarrassment caused by your princess would not be too bad, aye?”
“Wh-what?!” I blurted out.
Princess Luna covered her mouth as she chuckled at my outburst. “I can see why my sister likes you.”
“Because I try to be a good student?” I asked, really hoping that was the reason.
She stood straighter as she smiled invitingly. “Among other reasons, and I find I do enjoy your company too. Though in the future I would hope it be for more than just business.”
I tilted my head at that. “Like ... another teacher?”
Princess Luna hummed mysteriously. “Mayhaps. I would not be adverse to the idea.”
“That ... sounds fine.” That didn't sound so bad at all. At least it was something I was familiar with. For a moment I thought she might have meant something else, one of the perils of knowing Cloud Kicker. And really, having Princess Luna as a teacher would be really interesting.
“Of course, if you wish to be more than merely a student and a teacher...” A mischievous grin slowly creased her face. “I am sure you know how relationships between patron and their protégée used to work a millennium ago.”
Oh, it seemed I hadn't misinterpreted her meaning. I had read about in my history books where an influential, powerful, or wealthy patron might take on a promising student, and as part of that mentorship, they sometimes had ... relations.
“MEEP!” The only appropriate response.
Princess Luna’s smile became positively evil. “Oh good, you do know the old ways.” I looked around desperately to try and find some sort of inspiration on what to say, how to react, a way out of this trap. I was in the middle of considering the option of teleporting and then running away when Princess Luna broke out in a hearty laugh. “My, you are easy to fluster.”
“I ... uh...” I blinked in a stupefied manner as I tried to process the un-princessly behavior I was now seeing. “Oh, you really are Celestia's sister!”
Her smile lost none of its luster at my declaration. “We are of the same blood, I admit. And really, once you live as long as we do, you find what humor you can. Being a princess can be quite dull most days.”
“That wasn't funny,” I grumbled.
“Of course it was.” Princess Luna waved dismissively. “It is not as though I pulled that prank on you while in public where it would humiliate you. Really, learn not to take yourself too seriously. At least in private. You will learn to enjoy life much more.”
My mouth worked soundlessly for a few seconds. “Maybe...” I relented.
She pressed her lips together in thought. “In fact, I think you taking everything too seriously was what made some of your encounters with Cloud so difficult.”
Dealing with Cloud had become a lot easier when I started to relax around her. At the very least, we only started connecting after I did. Thinking over my encounters over, I sighed and nodded. “Probably, yes.”
Princess Luna tipped my chin up and met my gaze with a serious look. “Trust me, I know how hard that lesson can be. When one wears a crown, it is an easy thing to take everything very seriously. Too easy, sometimes.”
Considering how solemnly she had said that, I couldn’t help but think of her falling to become Nightmare Moon. She had become ... less than pleasant due to her jealousy of her sister. It wasn’t hard to see what she was getting at by taking everything too seriously when she had taken everything that far. “I'll keep that in mind. I don't want to make any mistakes.”
“See that you do,” Princess Luna said. “So please do not take offense if I had a little fun at your expense. It was only intended in good humor.”
I smiled at her to assure her everything was alright. As long as she wasn’t trying to be mean, I could forgive her for a little bit of teasing. “None taken.”
That bit of seriousness done, Princess Luna’s grin returned to her face. “Though I will say, you are most comely. That much I stand by.”
The sudden compliment caused my cheeks to burn. “Er ... um ... thanks?”
“You are welcome. A comely mare should be declared as such now and again.”
“I ... guess?” I mumbled out.
“But in any event, 'tis good to hear you are doing better now,” Princess Luna said, thankfully letting the topic drop.
I nodded. “It's good to be doing better. It felt like the whole world was going crazy there for a while.”
“I would think so,” Princess Luna agreed. “Especially where your family is concerned. I know well how difficult family troubles can be.”
“Yeah, I guess you would,” I said.
Princess Luna grunted unhappily. Her fight with her sister was probably a small sore spot for her. “And it is good to see that you have resolved those issues, if your letter to my sister is any indicator.”
It figures Princess Celestia would have shared that rather long letter with her sister. They had mentioned to me that they were doing that. “Yeah. I think studying Cloud has been for the best, even if it was a bit of a pain at times.”
“Good to hear,” she said. “It had been my hope that you would learn more than just what I had assigned you to study.”
“Well ... mission accomplished?” I hazarded.
Princess Luna nodded. “Aye, mission accomplished. As long as you are happy?”
“I am,” I assured her. At the very least, I was happy where my relationship stood with Cloud.
“Then it is good,” Her Highness said. “If you can go through a time of adversity and come out the other side satisfied with life, then you cannot have done too badly.”
“That makes sense,” I said.
Princess Luna wrapped a wing around my back. “I know that this has not been easy for you, but it seems this has turned out for the best. That makes me happy.”
“Me as well.” I smiled up at her. “Obviously, I'm happy that I'm happy.” I shuffled in place as a concern came to the surface. “Um ... can I ask you something?”
“But of course.” Princess Luna waved for me to continue. “Go ahead and ask.”
“Do you think sleeping with Cloud was the right thing to do?” I asked. “I mean, we both really enjoyed it, but...”
Her Highness tilted her head in contemplation. “You hold reservations about the act?”
“Not exactly.” I struggled as I tried to put vague feelings into meaningful words. “Just ... I guess it's the afterglow fading and...”
“And you wonder where to go from here?” she finished.
I nodded.
“A natural question after what you have experienced.” Princess Luna hummed as she rubbed her chin. “I believe the answer to that is for you to decide where you wish to go from here. At the end of the day, only you can determine what makes you happy. If there is something you wish for, strive for it.”
“That makes sense,” I said, not being able to fault her logic. “Okay.”
Princess Luna squeezed me with a wing. “Aye, do not feel forced to do anything. Trust me, that path only leads to misery.”
“So just live in the moment for a bit?” I asked.
“I have found it best to remember the past, live for the present, and keep an eye on the future,” she advised. “But yes, there are times where living for the moment is best. If an opportunity presents itself, do not let indecisiveness thwart you.”
I giggled, feeling silly for bringing up such mundane and personal problems with a princess. “I feel like I should be writing this down.”
“There will be plenty of time for that later, I am sure,” Princess Luna said. “Though I am flattered you think my words are worth writing down.”
“Well you are a princess,” I pointed out.
“So I am.” She smiled down at me. “But for now, how about we concentrate on living in the moment?”
“That sounds good,” I said. “Um ... did you have something in mind?”
Princess Luna grinned mischievously. “I can think of a few things we could do together.” She ran the tip of her wing along my spine.
I resisted the shiver that wanted to run up my spine, and instead rolled my eyes. “Nice try, but the same trick won't work twice. Especially not after Cloud thickened my skin.”
“That is not a dare to escalate, now is it?” she teased.
“No. Just ... no.” I looked down at the floor, trying to look sad. “That wouldn't end well.”
“Oh?” Princess Luna pouted. “A pity then.”
I moved in for the kill. “Sorry, but I like your sister more.”
Princess Luna took a step back. “My sister?!”
“Yes. Celestia. Princess of the Sun.” I said gravely. “I ... might have had a bit of a crush on my teacher.”
“Oh-hoho.” Princess Luna covered her mouth with a hoof, as though hearing something scandalous. It seemed she had recovered quickly from my attempt to throw her off. “Is that the way of it?”
“It is,” I affirmed.
“Now I am of two minds to either try and surpass my sister, or to give you recommendations for how to gain her attentions,” Princess Luna said.
“Um, how about neither for now?” I requested. “It was a silly foalhood crush. I'll always love and respect her, but ... I just don't think it would really be a good idea to take it beyond that.” It hurt a little bit to say that, but not as much before.
“Mmm, a pity then.” Princess Luna let out an annoyed huff. “My sister really could use a romantic liason now and again. Really, I do not understand her insistence on remaining chaste.”
“She's been fine without one for ... well, you'd know how long better than I would,” I said. “And to be honest, that's part of the issue. Cloud came with a ton of baggage, and she's only as old as I am.” I sighed and ran a hoof through my mane. “It's ... it was just a silly crush.”
Princess Luna examined me with a serious look before nodding. “Then it seems to me that you have a couple different choices. You can either seek to pursue my sister for a serious relationship, or you move on and find something that will make you happy, be it seeking a relationship with another pony or be like my sister and be unconcerned with romance.”
“And I've decided to move on.” The Princess was right; if I wasn't going to try to pursue my filly old crush on Princess Celestia, then I needed to put it aside. The same went for my feelings for Fluttershy. I wasn't going to do myself any favors by pining after ponies I would never have. It certainly hadn't made me happy to stay in that rut I had found myself in. Certainly what I had experienced with Cloud had been much more fulfilling.
Princess Luna nodded. “Then move forward without regrets. Seek to be happy, Twilight Sparkle. Be the master of your own destiny.”
I puffed out my chest. “I will. I promise.”
I didn't have an exact plan for what I was going to do yet, but I did at least have a idea of what I wanted. What I currently had with Cloud might only end up only being temporary, but as I thought about it, that was fine. As long as we enjoyed the time we had together, then there wasn't any harm in it. Who knew? I might find that special somepony someday, or maybe I would find something else I would like. There were plenty of examples in my history books where ponies had come up with atypical relationship structures to find contentment in their lives.
What was important was that I had options, and I could pick the one that would make me happy. I didn't know what that was yet, but I didn't have to. I still had a lot of my life to live, and there wasn't any reason I had to push myself into a box at this point.
I smiled at Princess Luna. “Thanks for this talk, Princess. It really helped.”
She returned my smile. “It is good to hear that. Any day where I help one of my subjects is one well spent.”
After considering an idea that popped into my head, I said, “Say, if you’re not busy, would you like to go someplace to eat? I know a place that makes some great sandwiches. We could talk and catch up with one another.”
Her Highness smiled graciously. “I would love to. I regretted we could not spend more time together due to the wedding and the changeling invasion. I would have shown you the head of Queen Chrysalis sooner, but circumstances made that difficult.” She narrowed her eyes. “Especially after my sister had gotten rid of it. And here I had planned on mounting it on my wall, but apparently that’s ‘macabre’ and ‘barbaric’ now.” Her lungs heaved with an annoyed huff.
“Um, is that so?” I knew that Princess Luna had killed Chrysalis, or at least the body she had possessed at the time, but I didn’t realized she had taken her head. That wasn't something I particularly wanted to see. Best to try and move the conversation forward. “How about we get going then?”
“An excellent idea.” Princess Luna waved at the door. “Lead the way, and I will tell you how I bested that fiend who accosted your family.”
I tried to smile as naturally as I could. “That sounds great. Just great. Perfect even.” I lead the way out of the library, hoping the Princess’s story wouldn’t be too ... explicit.
Still, overall after everything that had happened, it seemed like everything was going to be just fine.
