Celestia and Luna are having trouble bonding. They decide to hold a competition with hopes of rekindling sisterly love. They gather their teams and engage in a spectacle for the ages.
Celestia and Luna are unable to recapture the sisterly bond they shared before Luna was banished. They decide to engage in a competition they haven't held in over 1000 years with the hope that the shared experience will bring them closer together.
They gather their teams, who share an uncommon bond with the princesses, and prepare for a battle that will find its place in the annals of Equestrian history and lore. Other main characters: Tree Hugger, Fleur de Lis, Cup Cake
Rated Teen for: mild language, rude humor, and pony-on-pony violence
“Sister, this monotony is tiresome,” Luna grumbled. “I do not recall such tedium before my departure.” She rested her chin on the table, her hooves splayed out in front of her.
“I can assure you, Luna,” Celestia sighed, “the tedium exists in perpetuity, much as it has for millennia before.” She briefly stopped writing and looked over her reading glasses at her sibling across the table. “Much as it will for millennia to come.”
“I remain unconvinced.” Luna’s tone and expression were the very definition of skepticism.
Save for a quick purse of her lips, Celestia remained stoic as she returned her sister’s glare. A few night birds sang melancholically outside. The candlelight made Luna look both more menacing and adorable than she really was. Cocking an eyebrow, Celestia used her magic to lift her glasses from her snout and clean them with a ready cloth. “Perhaps you do not remember the tedious nature of our station because most of it happened in the light.” She cleared her throat curtly, replaced her glasses and returned to drafting her most recent decree.
Silence fell over the room. The scratching of Celestia’s quill was much louder than it should have been. Even the flickering candles seemed to be aggressively loud. The birds outside fell into an uneasy and apprehensive silence. Luna seethed and anxiously awaited her sister’s next comment. Her eyes narrowed to slits as she watched every feature of Celestia’s face, waiting for the moment to strike. Eventually, the faintest hint of a smile cracked the white alicorn’s mouth.
“Oh, blow it out your cake-laden rump,” Luna hissed.
Dropping the quill and straightening up Celestia let out a weary sigh. “Very well. You wish to break the monotony? How? This is the third time this evening I have heard that lament and I have yet to recognize a coda.”
“As there has yet to be one!” Luna insisted, rising up and pounding her hoof on the table. Celestia’s ink well spilled.
“Ok. What do you propose?”
“Let us…” She paused and tapped her chin in thought. “We could…There’s always the…” Luna scrunched her snout in frustration.
“See? Despite our inclination to do otherwise, our priority is our station. And our station is our restriction.” She used her magic to clean up the spilt ink.
“But…”
“Perhaps you would approve of Raven finishing this decree? I’m certain the citizens of Equestria would approve of a royal decree being crafted and scribed by a secretary.”
“She is certainly capable,” Luna mumbled under her breath.
“Luna…Damnit.” Celestia rubbed her temples. She looked across at her pouting sister.
“Celestia, I am sad,” Luna whimpered. “Depressed. We have but a few short hours together each day and yet we spend much of that time confined in your room or office. I sit and watch you work. Are we not sisters? Should we not bond over activities containing more substance than paperwork?”
Celestia was far too old to miss the plea in her sister’s voice. “You’re right, Luna. I am sorry. I have neglected you. It’s just that the world is so much work these days. I haven’t any time for anything else and can’t afford to fall behind.”
“But surely the ponies of Equestria would find it in their hearts to extol some leniency upon you, especially considering all you’ve done for them. Besides, you can just let Twilight do all that work. She certainly has an abnormal affinity for the more mind-numbing aspects of princesshood.” Luna was determined get Celestia on her side. “Additionally, all this work cannot possibly be good for your well-being. This amount of constant stress will take a toll on anypony, even a princess.”
“Yes, Luna, I have been stressed, but if I may remind you, I have dealt with this kind of stress – and more – for a thousand years.”
“I do not need that reminder, sister,” Luna snarled.
Celestia recoiled a bit from Luna’s sudden change in tone. “Don’t get cross with me for bringing it up. You’re the one who brought it up. That’s how this conversation got started. ‘Sister, this monotony is tiresome’ you grumbled. ‘I do not recall such tedium before my departure.’ That was you.”
“Silence!”
“Are you upset that I used your own words against you or that my impression of you is spot on?” The smugness in Celestia’s voice grated the blue alicorn.
“I’m upset that you think you’re better than me and deny me any attempt to prove otherwise!”
“Prove otherwise?! Last time you tried to prove otherwise I sent you to the moon.”
“That is not what We meant!” Luna pounded her front hooves on the table and leaned at her sister. The ink well spilled again.
“We? Luna, you’re lapsing into your former self. Please control that.”
With a cry of aggravation Luna stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Celestia shook her head and cleaned the ink. She replaced her glasses on her snout and went back to her work. The candles burned softly as her quill gracefully scratched across the parchment. The birds had gone back to singing. Until, that is, they erupted in squawks of surprise and anger.
The silence in the room was abruptly interrupted by five minutes of sporadic distant explosions punctuated with cries of pain and suffering. Had Celestia looked up from her work she would have seen flashes of light illuminate the night from far below the windows. Eventually, the activity subsided. After another ten minutes the quiet was disrupted by the door to the chambers slowly opening. Luna slipped in quietly, looking rather abashed.
“Finished?” asked Celestia, not looking up from her work.
“The garden is ablaze,” Luna said sheepishly.
“Just the garden this time?”
“A few guards are receiving medical attention,” she mumbled, taking her seat across from Celestia.
“Just a few?”
“I’ve already apologized,” she bowed her head.
“Anything else?”
“The graffiti are water soluble.”
“Well, thank heavens for that.”
Nothing more was said and Luna took her place at the table, perching on her pillow, and gazing at her sister and her work. Even if she didn’t look up, Celestia knew Luna was thinking and thinking deeply. Luna was not a talkative pony except when she wanted attention. And when she wanted attention the only thing that would shut her up was when she thought of new ways to get attention. Celestia began to brace herself for another suggestion from Luna. A few minutes later the suggestion came.
“Sister, may I offer a suggestion. It may be old-fashioned and worthy of your rejection, but I would be remiss to let it go unannounced.”
Celestia sighed. “Announce away.”
“Perhaps we revive an old game of ours. One we played frequently in the time…before I left.”
Celestia looked up from the parchment. Her attention was solely on Luna. “Game.” The word came out as a much a question as it was a realization.
“Yes. The competition we had. The one in which we simulated embattlement.”
Celestia dropped the quill and sat up. With her magic she removed her glasses in dramatic fashion, staring wide-eyed at Luna. “Holy Me! Luna! Your frighteningly depraved mind may actually have hit upon something!”
“Thank you? Though, I believe your compliments still need some work, sister.”
“What if we do?! What if we do play our little game?” An impish smile worked its way onto her face.
“It could be fun,” offered Luna, optimistic of Celestia’s change of attitude.
Celestia bounded over the table to her sister and embraced her tightly, pressing the blue alicorn’s face against her chest. “Luna, you are so salaciously evil and I love you for it!”
“Again, your compliment fails to elicit a positive response,” Luna wheezed.
“This will be wonderful! To Tartarus with this decree,” she spat as she zapped the parchment. “The streets of Canterlot will once again be filled with the battle cries of their princesses. Haha!” She ran off, throwing open the doors to her balcony. She pranced up to the balustrade and proclaimed with her Royal Canterlot Voice: “CITIZENS, PREPARE YOURSELVES!!! The Two Sisters shall soon be among you as we take up our competition that has not been seen in over a millennium. The voices of Day and Night shall ring clear through the streets of Canterlot and beyond! BEAR WITNESS TO THE SPECTACLE!!!”
There was little in the way of response to her words. In the garden far below servants and guards desperately tried to control the raging inferno whilst others washed off the profane statements written on the walls. From somewhere in the city a cry on the night air replied to Celestia: “Shut up! We’re trying to sleep!”
The morning sun was still casting long shadows when Celestia strode into Luna’s room. She didn’t look up from the scroll she was reading. “Raven has agreed to take up some the lesser paperwork so I should have more time to help plan this round.” She enthusiastically sat at the table in the middle of Luna’s room.
“Wonderful!” exclaimed Luna from the opposite side of the table. “In the meantime, I have drafted a set of rules for our teammates. I think you will find them satisfactory and in keeping with tradition.” Luna proudly floated an exceptionally long scroll over to her sister.
Celestia produced her glasses and began to read through Luna’s list. It wasn’t long before she stopped. “Luna! These rules are ridiculous!”
“What?! Nonsense!” Luna was visibly hurt.
Celestia brought the parchment up to eye level and read aloud: “’The chosen ponies allied with the defeated sister shall be bound into servitude of the victorious sister until the time of the next contest.’ Luna, that’s barbaric!”
“’Tis beneficial to the victorious nonetheless,” Luna defended.
“Not happening!”
“Under what justification?!”
“Outdated understanding of Equestrian laws and ethics.”
Luna huffed loudly.
Celestia rebutted with more recitation: “’Shall a fatality occur, the pony guilty of causation shall be indentured to the family of the deceased pony. Should the family of the deceased pony decline the servitude of the guilty pony…’ I can’t even finish that. Luna, I’m worried about you.”
“’Tis only fair! Pony for a pony. Anypony would agree. You are simply upset you have been unable to conjure such sensible rules.” She stuck out her tongue.
“Sweet tartar sauce on a toothpick,” Celestia groaned, rubbing her temples. “I shall be the one to draft the rules. Luna, why don’t you…” She rummaged through her mind, searching for something for Luna to do that couldn’t be perverted by her outdated understanding of…everything. Sighing in defeat, Celestia voiced her request: “Why don’t you search for our old list of spells we used and pick out some of the best ones. I’m sure that old tome is around this castle somewhere.”
Luna’s face lit up. “A wise decision, sister!” she exclaimed and burst out of the room.
“Good luck,” Celestia mumbled, rolling her eyes.
She knew Luna would have trouble finding the tome in the castle because it wasn’t in the castle. The rule book, along with many of Luna’s belongings, had remained in the Castle of the Two Sisters after Luna was banished to the moon. Celestia nearly felt bad for sending Luna on this wild goose chase but she needed some quiet time. She produced a cup of tea and sipped regally as she began work on drafting rules for the competition.
Several days passed without the presence of Luna, save for her nightly duties. Celestia enjoyed the quiet time and carefully and rationally set the rules. This evening changed, however. In her room, Celestia lay on her bed and began to wonder just how long her sister would search for the tome before she realized it was not in the castle. Putting the thought aside, Celsetia put the final touches on her list of rules and set it aside, preparing for sleep. Suddenly, Luna bounded into the room, skipping proudly up to her sister.
“SISTER!”
“Holy Hell, Luna,” groaned Celestia, cringing from the volume, “take it down a notch.”
“I have reclaimed the tome! BEHOLD!” She held up a large dusty book with her magic. She nearly smooshed it into Celestia’s face before Celestia took it with her own magic and walked over to a table. Luna sidled up next to her and bounced excitedly. Celestia rolled her eyes as she opened the book. She’d never admit it but she was surprised Luna found the book. Maybe it had been in this castle after all. She mentally shrugged off the thought. She flipped to the first page.
“Let’s use this one!” Luna immediately squealed.
“That’s the title page.”
“If you say so,” she said skeptically.
Celestia flipped to the table of contents. “Moving on. Let’s start with protection spells. We’ll need to not only protect ourselves and teammates but also the ponies of Canterlot.”
“Likely the buildings as well,” Luna said. “Remember last time.”
“Yes. However, the destruction of the city was an ally, if I remember correctly.”
“True. Dust and rubble offer hiding places as well as weaponry. Very well, the city shall be destroyed!”
“Well, maybe not destroyed. Perhaps it will just be utilized, which may include destruction. However, we should make sure that cleanup is easier than last time. Let’s find a spell or two to aide with that.” She flipped to the appropriate pages. “Ah, here we are. A little spell to return the city to its condition before the battle. Luna, write this down.”
The next hour saw the sisters flipping through the tome and picking out spells they felt would best aide them. Some spells were for the amplification of their powers, others for shielding. They doubled-up on protection spells for the ponies of Canterlot. After last time they decided they didn’t need the lingering guilt of maiming that many ponies.
“There, that ought to do it,” stated Celestia, closing the book.
“Yes. Although, do you think we may have taken too many precautions. We have assembled an inordinate amount of safety spells.” Luna held up the parchment with their list. “I understand the desire for safety but at what cost? Have we made this too safe? Will we be able to recreate the same level of danger and fun that we originally generated?”
Celestia scratched her chin in thought. “You have a point. I hate that. But how do we remedy it? I think it’s crucial to keep Canterlot ponies as safe as possible. But doing so means we have to temper our own abilities.”
“Especially since we’re using regular ponies as fodder…I mean teammates.”
“Yes. Those poor souls from last time. We’re still paying out reparations to those families.” They both nodded solemnly. “On that topic - the rules I have composed.”
“This should be good,” muttered Luna to herself.
“I think you’ll find them concise and straightforward.” She floated a short scroll over to Luna, who took it with her magic.
“Three rules?! That’s it?”
“That’s all there needs to be.”
Luna eyed Celestia skeptically then recited the rules. “Rule One: No retreating or hiding out of fear. Rule Two: No insulting an opponent’s mother. Rule Three: No killing.” Luna pondering the list for a minute, scratching her chin. “I suppose these cover the most important aspects. Very well, I accept.”
“Especially the no killing part,” Celestia said sternly, eyeing Luna.
“Ugh, yes, sister. No killing.” She pouted a bit but then spoke up. “Since safety seems to be of the utmost concern” – she rolled her eyes – “perhaps we should dispense with the teammates. A princess versus princess battle should be exciting enough.”
“Maybe,” Celestia pondered. The two sisters fell into silence as they considered the options. Minutes ticked by and they exchanged occasional glances and shrugs. Eventually, Celestia spoke.
“Luna, I have had a thought.”
“Odd.”
“What if we were to use…them.”
“Them?”
“Them.”
“We know a lot of thems, sister. To which them are you referring?”
“The ones who are bound to us in perpetuity. The ponies who share a bond of existence.”
Luna perked up. “Them,” she breathed in awe. “Yes.”
“They could handle the magic,” Celestia stated, inspired by Luna’s approval. “Their loyalty to us and each other would make them venerable teammates and fierce opponents. This way we could dispense with shielding spells for our teammates and keep them just for the citizens.”
“And they’ve no choice in the matter!” Luna exclaimed joyfully.
“Technically no, they do not. Though I believe that is not the point. This otherworldly connection they share with us make them the only real option.”
“Regardless, it is settled! The ponies of perpetuity shall rage beside us in destruction and death!”
“Calm down, Luna. You’re getting a tad worked up.”
It was morning in the small town of Ponyville. In that town, in an unassuming cottage, Cheerilee hummed pleasantly to herself as she brushed her teeth. She briefly mulled the tensile strength of the bristles on the brush and their plasticity in relation to the ability to remove plaque. She quickly set aside that thought expecting to revisit it at work, particularly when Diamond Tiara gabbed about her family’s wealth or when Apple Bloom droned on and on about apples. In the meantime, she continued her morning routine and prepared for the day ahead.
After a last check in the mirror she threw on her saddlebags and opened the front door. Now Cheerilee, being a pony of sound mind and excellent recall, could not, for the life of her, remember placing a Princess Celestia on her welcome mat. Yet, plain as day, there one sat. It startled the little pony.
“AH! Y-your highness!” Cheerilee quickly bowed.
“Good morning, Miss Cheerilee. Please rise.”
Cheerilee cautiously righted herself. “Um…to what do I owe the pleasure? Oh! Would you like to come in?”
“Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. I have an important order of business to discuss with you.”
“Me? Don’t you usually ask Twilight for help?”
A look of contempt flashed across the alicorn’s face. “She cannot assist in this matter.” The irritation in her voice was not lost on the teacher.
“Sorry,” she squeaked.
“Trivial,” Celestia shooed. “Anyway, you must come with me to Canterlot.”
“Canterlot? But I have to teach today.”
“That will be tended to. If you’d come with me.”
*
Rarity elegantly hummed to herself as she applied the eyeliner. She leaned in close to her vanity, making sure every millimeter of the makeup was applied in perfection. A loud snap and quick flash next to her disrupted that.
“RARITY!” bellowed Princess Luna.
“WHAAAA!” The white unicorn practically jumped out of her horn. “P-P-Princess Luna!” Rarity wheezed, trying to catch her breath. “What are you doing here?”
“I require your assistance on an endeavor.”
“What? An endeavor?”
“Precisely. We must leave at once.”
“B-but, but, but! My store! And such short notice. I’m hardly prepared to go anywhere.”
“I disagree. You clearly knew this moment was coming otherwise you would not have applied the war paint.”
“War paint?” Rarity looked into the mirror and gasped in horror. The eyeliner she had been applying had drawn a line along the side of her face when she jumped. “Nonononono!” She quickly made to remove the mistake.
“Do not deny your inner self, Rarity,” commanded Luna. “It is clear that a desire for combat simmers deep inside you. Come with me and I shall help you release its full potential.”
“I beg your pardon!” Rarity scoffed, clearly incensed. “I do not have desire for combat! I am a lady!” With a dainty cloth she haughtily and defiantly wiped the smeared eyeliner from her face.
Luna stepped close to Rarity. She raised her chin and looked down at the unicorn. Her voice was flat and ominous. “We shall see.” With that her horn lit up and in a flash Rarity was no longer in her home.
*
“Get yer lollygaggin’ caboose into gear!” hollered Granny Smith.
Big Mac grumbled and rolled his eyes as he pulled the plow. He’d been in the field for several hours already and was looking for a break soon.
“Don’t you grumble and roll yer eyes at me, you lollygaggin’ lollygagger! Now move!” The old mare glared at her grandson as he labored. “In my day we enjoyed workin’ ourselves into exhaustion! You young’uns got it easy, what with ya working only twelve hours a day. Slackers!”
Big Mac kept his scowl hidden as he trudged through the field. The midmorning sun was already heating him up more than he was comfortable with. As he thought to himself how much he’d like to plant the yolk firmly and violently on Granny’s shoulders a loud snap brought him out of his fantasies of geriatricide. He turned his attention to where the noise occurred. Princess Luna stood regally next to Granny Smith, already discussing something of importance.
“I ain’t goin’ anywhere, ya whippersnapper,” defied Granny. “Too much work to do and I can’t leave it all to the kids.”
“I’m sure they’ll succeed in completing their chores,” offered Luna.
“Not likely. They need constant supervision. Otherwise they start lollygaggin’. Ain’t that right, Big Mac! Ya lollygagger!”
Luna turned her attention to the red stallion in the field, who had his attention on her. He quickly looked away and grumbled to himself as he continued plowing.
“Keep working and stop lookin’ at her flank!” Granny barked.
Luna blushed profusely and quickly sat down, moving her tail so it would hide her backside. “Yes, well. Uhh…regardless, you are required to assist in this matter.”
“Like I said, missy, I ain’t goin’ nowhere!” She stomped her hoof and Luna could have sworn she heard some bones break.
“I’m afraid there exists no option to decline.” Luna’s tone was firm and she did her best to look formidable from a sitting position.
“Ya givin’ me lip, child?” Granny threatened.
“No. I am giving you a mandate. And I am no child. My age surpasses your own by several millennia,” Luna stated. “Though, your frequent use of bygone vocabulary and idioms suggests we may be of similar age,” she pondered, tapping her chin.
“I ain’t takin’ orders from a young’un like you,” Granny defied.
Luna rolled her eyes. Her horn lit up and in a flash she and the Apple matriarch were no longer on the farm.
Big Mac snuck a glance over his shoulder just in time to see the departure of the princess and his grandmother. He quickly threw off the yoke and ran from the field, laughing and squealing like a hyper school colt. He ran to the nearest pond and cannonballed in.
*
“Princess Celestia!” squealed Twilight as she greeted the white alicorn at the door of her castle. “It’s so great to see you! What are you doing here?” She shared a nuzzle with her mentor.
“I’m afraid I cannot stay, Twilight. I have come only to inform you that you have an important duty to attend.”
“Really?!” Twilight beamed.
“Yes. You must attend to the education of the schoolchildren of this town.”
“What? But Cheerilee is the teacher. Why would I teach instead of her?”
“Cheerilee also has an important task ahead of her,” she stated, motioning to the cerise pony next to her, whom Twilight just noticed. “She must come with me to Canterlot.”
“Canterlot? Why? Hi, Cheerilee.”
“Hi, Twilight.”
Celestia continued. “I’m afraid the exact nature of her task must remain hidden until Luna and I have given permission for it to be known.”
“Oh…” The princess of Ponyville could hide neither her disappointment nor confusion.
“Twilight, do not take this as any comment or judgment on you or your abilities or station. Cadance is as uninformed on this matter as you are. It was a decision to which my sister and I must adhere. I hope you understand.”
“Oh…okay. Does this have anything to do with that outburst you had last week? When you started shouting about a game or something? Not that I heard about that or anything.”
Celestia pursed her lips in annoyance. “Unfortunately, this is a secretive matter and I fear I’ve said too much already. Speaking of which, do refrain from mentioning this to the schoolchildren. It’s best they don’t know what their teacher is up to. Don’t mention it to anypony, actually. Also, in a few days’ time you will receive a letter from me. Follow the instructions within. To the absolute. Good day, Twilight.” With that, Celestia turned and began walking down the steps of the castle.
“I’m just as confused as you are,” Cheerilee confided as they watched Celestia.
Twilight grabbed the teacher pony and pulled her snout-to-snout. “What’s going on? What’s the deal? Why’d she choose you? What for? What’s the mission? Why is Luna involved? Are there others? Is she replacing me? Did she say anything? Can you bring a friend?” The questions came quickly and without remorse. There was a familiar craze in her eyes and voice that Cheerilee found off-putting.
"She didn’t say anything other than she needed me to help her complete some sort of task.”
“Listen here, teach, don’t give me any attitude! I need to know what you’re doing. I need to know what she’s up to! I need to know it now!”
“Umm…”
“Cheerilee,” called Celestia. “If you would.”
“I’d better get going.”
Twilight released the teacher. “Tell me everything when you’re done,” Twilight whispered aggressively. “Okay, bye bye. Have a good time,” she chimed happily before slamming the door in Cheerilee’s face.
Tree Hugger rested quietly against a lone tree in the middle of a field in the middle of somewhere. Occasional clouds drifted overhead and a slight breeze swept across the scene, rustling the leaves.
“You’re a pony that’s difficult to find,” came a voice above her.
“I am a pony that is difficult to stay put,” Tree Hugger breathed, her voice as carefree as the wind. She kept her eyes closed and continued her rest.
“Indeed. Though, now that I have you for a moment, I would like to discuss a proposition.”
Tree Hugger finally opened her eyes and peered dazedly at Celestia. “Far out, Luminous One. What does your soul require of me?”
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Well, I require your assistance in a matter – “
“Between you and your sister.”
Celestia was a bit shocked by the awareness of the green pony. “Yes.” The word slipped out slowly and cautiously. “My sister and I are putting together a little competition, the purpose of which-“
“Is for you and your sister to grow closer together.”
“Well, yes, I suppose.” She kicked at the ground sheepishly.
“That’s beautiful,” Tree Hugger mused wistfully. “You need to get your chakras in sync. I sensed an imbalance in your souls that night at the Gala. Mostly because Luna’s soul wasn’t present.”
“She was busy! She had her duties to attend to. I would have invited her otherwise!” Celestia quickly defended. She took a breath to calm herself. “That’s the problem we’re trying to remedy. Despite us being back together, we really haven’t grown any closer over the past few years. It’s…difficult.”
Tree Hugger rose from her seat and took Celestia’s hoof in hers, gently patting it. “Hey, no need for those negative vibes, princess. That only sets you on the path to darkness. I’ll help you with your journey to reclaim your sisterhood.”
“Well, thank you for being amenable to my proposition.”
“No prob, my sister.”
“Okay, well, let’s get you to Canterlot.” Her horn lit up.
“Hold on there, McSpeedy. Let’s take this slow. How about we just let the wind take us there?”
Celestia rolled her eyes.
*
Cup Cake pulled the latest batch of pastries out of the oven whilst her infant twins peppered the kitchen with cake batter. She wiped her brow and then readied herself to wrangle her children. Just then Carrot Cake hustled by with a box of cupcakes for a waiting customer. A minute later he hustled back in with a very concerned look on his face.
"Sweetie, were we expecting a visit from Princess Luna?”
Cup Cake’s eyes went wide. “What?!” she cried through clenched teeth that held on to Pound Cake by his diaper. “She’s here?”
“Yeah. And she’s asking for you?”
“What?!” She hustled out to the counter and found Luna studying the pastries in the front display case. The alicorn turned her attention to the baker.
“Greetings, Cup Cake!” she bellowed. “I have come to you in need of assistance. You will join me in a competition of wills and tenacity. We will achieve glory on the battlefield!”
“What?!” Cup Cake cried, dropping her son, who crawled away happy and apparently unscathed.
“Yes, it shall be quite the event.”
“I’m sorry, princess, but I’m a little busy at the moment.”
Luna examined the scene. “Nonsense! This will all be seen to; I can assure you. Pink One, to me!” In a flash from somewhere Pinkie Pie appeared at Luna’s side, eagerly bouncing in place. “Aid the Cake patriarch with the business of this establishment. And reigning these monstrosities he has sired.”
“Oki doki artichokie! But this is more than a two-pony job,” stated Pinkie.
“Very well.” Luna lit her horn and in a flash of light Fluttershy appeared next to Pinkie.
“W-w-whuh?” the yellow pegasus stammered.
“Perhaps another,” pondered Luna. Her horn lit again and suddenly Spitfire appeared in the shop.
“The frak?” the fiery pony wondered.
“Captain, aid these ponies in their quest to maintain order in this establishment.”
“Right, boss!” Spitfire saluted and flew into the kitchen, followed quickly by Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy. Moments later an ungodly ruckus arose – pots and pans clanging and clattering, chairs being broken, and the cries and whimpers of ponies in distress.
“I should help,” Cup Cake said but stopped short. “It’s got my tail! It’s got my tail!” and “That’s not how you use a spatula!” and “My salsa cupcakes!” were just some of the cries that gave Cup Cake pause. She turned to Luna. “I’m ready to leave.”
“Very good,” nodded the princess. In a flash Luna and Cup Cake disappeared from Sugarcube Corner, leaving behind the chaos erupting from the kitchen.
*
Fleur de Lis strutted down the street, frequently stopping to strike a pose and admire her reflection in a shop window. She levitated next to her several shopping bags full of expensive clothes. At one particular window, she noticed something peculiar about her reflection: there was a Princess Celestia standing behind it.
“Gah!” the pretty pony jumped. Her bags went flying and the contents were strewn all over. Fleur clasped her hooves over her mouth when she saw recently purchased lacey stockings dangling from her princess’s horn. Celestia removed the garment with her magic and inspected it.
“Hmm, I do believe I have this same pair,” she absently mused. Quickly remembering where she was, she turned her attention to the pristine pony in front of her and replaced the spilled clothing in their bags. “Fleur de Lis, I have a very important task for you. If you’ll accompany to my castle, I’ll explain.”
“The castle?!” Fleur squealed. “Oh my stars! The glamour of it all! And to be in the company of royalty; why, what will the tabloids say?!” She was positively swooning at the prospect.
Celestia rolled her eyes. “Yes, well, I’m afraid the tabloids won’t be privy to this event. Just yet. And when they are, they may be writing a much different story than you expect.”
The fancy unicorn looked at her princess quizzically. “I don’t understand.”
“Quite simple: you’re coming to the castle with me, no press until there is, and then every newspaper in Equestria will be writing your story. Our story. Good?”
“Umm…”
“Perfect.” With a flash, Fleur and Celestia disappeared from the sidewalk. Fleur’s purchases, however, were left to be fought over by her fellow elites and tourists. It was a battle so vicious that it managed to make it into the newspapers.
It had been an hour since they had been collected and now the six mares had spread out in the large room. Fleur and Rarity had taken position on a rather posh sofa adorned with posh pillows. They chatted pompously to each other as they reclined in opulence. Seated on an adjacent and less posh sofa, Cup Cake quietly sipped some coffee that had been set out. Cheerilee was perusing the sizeable collection of books that adorned an entire wall of the room. Tree Hugger found a spot near the ornate double doors to meditate. Granny Smith had managed to locate an old rocking chair and dragged it in front of the fireplace, where she currently grumbled to herself.
It had been at least a half hour since they’d ceased deliberation as to the reason for all of this. The speculation was nearly as varied as the ponies gathered. Rarity and Fleur seemed to think that whatever the reason was, they’d certainly be rewarded with lifetime access to the castle and its amenities, as well as a boost in social status, which would certainly also boost their careers. Cup Cake was hoping for something simple, like the chefs needing some help in the kitchen. Cheerilee posited an intricate task of puzzle solving, secrets of the past unlocked through careful analysis of facts. Tree Hugger thought they should all just hold hooves and let their chakras align, only then would the answer be revealed. Granny Smith berated them for not working.
The double doors opened and the royal sisters walked into the room. Luna was somewhat impeded when the door she opened was stopped by a meditating Tree Hugger, which caused the princess to bump into the door. “Worthy adversary, indeed,” she grumbled. The sisters took their place in front of the fireplace, much to Granny’s dismay. The other mares gathered around and waited intently.
“Now that we are all gathered in the exposition room my sister and I shall expose ourselves to you,” Luna announced regally.
“Dammit, Luna,” Celestia groaned, her hoof landing on her face. It didn’t help that the statement drew a few snickers and blushes from the collected mares.
“What did I say?” questioned Luna, clearly perplexed at the response.
“Very well,” said Luna, though the confusion was still apparent in her voice. “Our exposure to you will come in two parts. Firstly,” she continued through Celestia’s sigh, “we will divulge to you the reason you all have been gathered here. Secondly, we will divulge to you your obligations in the coming days.”
Silence fell on the room, save for the crackle of the fire. Luna was instantly disappointed at the lack of reaction from the mares. Cheerilee, Rarity, and Cup Cake exchanged shrugs and looks of confusion and concern while Fleur scoffed in annoyance. Tree Hugger was mesmerized by the fire and Granny had drifted off to sleep.
Clearing her throat, Luna began her exposition. “My sister and I are, regrettably, still unable to find enough common ground on which to strengthen our sisterly bonds. It has been a trying few years. However, we feel as though we have a remedy! And you all shall be at our sides, aiding us in this endeavor!” She stood proudly, almost triumphantly.
“At your side?” inquired Rarity. “How are we to help you? How can we help you two get closer?”
Celestia began to speak. “Well, it is a matter of – ”
“We are bound together!” exclaimed Luna. “Surely you have noticed the pull of my life upon yours. That is how it shall be done!”
“I’m sorry, deary,” said Cup Cake, “but do you mean that we are bound to you? How?”
“If I may,” said Celestia sternly, glaring at her sister, “the bond we share is deep. So deep in fact that you may not have noticed. However, the longer we are in each other’s presence, the more prevalent it becomes. It is a bond of existence, as though our beings are connected by some otherworldly force.”
“Once it’s full potential is realized, we shall become bound in sisterhood, forever at each other’s side in times of need and strife!” Luna exclaimed joyfully.
“And the lighter moments as well,” quickly added Celestia.
“From where did this bond come?” asked Cheerilee.
“It is diffic” –
“Ooo! Congratulate her on her excellent sentence structure,” whispered Luna.
“It is difficult to say with any amount of certainty,” conceded Celestia, pushing past the interruption. “It is a bond that transcends time and space. From what we can gather, every iteration of our world has this bond, in some way. In some cases, the bond can connect to other worlds as well. Unfortunately, I cannot offer a more detailed explanation than that.”
“Iteration of the world?” inquired Rarity.
“Oops. Well, I suppose since I’ve said that much I might as well tell you. Yes, our world, this world is not the first. Nor will it be the last. From our perspective there is no telling when one world will begin or end. But within each iteration, there are certain ponies that share these bonds.”
There was a general murmur of awe among the ponies that was best summed up by Tree Hugger’ statement: “Far out.”
“Dare I ask if this bond makes us…well, like you?” inquired Fleur.
“You mean immortal? Or royal?” replied Celestia.
“Either.”
“No to both. For your time in this world, we share this bond. These bonds are ephemeral, relatively speaking. They can be dormant for hundreds of years then suddenly exist. They come and go as they please, without warning. They do not grant you immortality nor guarantee a change in social status.” Fleur pouted at the information.
“So, we’re bound to both of you for what purpose?” asked Cheerilee.
“Firstly, a correction: you are only bound to one of us. You were collected by the sister with whom you share the bond. As for the purpose, I’m afraid I must leave you with an incomplete answer once again. We have been unable to establish any significant reason for the bond. No offense but neither my sister nor I gain anything tangible from the bond and quite frankly, aside from the superficial pseudo-celebrity status you may gain from being bound to us, should the bond be disclosed, to our knowledge you would reap little in the way of benefits in your own lives. The bond simply exists.”
“That is not entirely true, sister,” interjected Luna. “As much as pains me to spew such a saccharine assemblage of words, I do believe we would gain the benefits of friendship.”
“Fair point,” Celestia conceded.
“It’s true,” added Rarity. “Friendship has paid dividends for me in the past.”
“So, am I to understand that this bond only exists as long as we do?” inquired Cup Cake.
“Yes and no. When your physical self passes, that connection will be broken forever. However, your soul – or whatever you’d like to call it – remains bound to us and to each other. We still maintain a connection to ponies and beings from this world and others that have long since passed. And when this world does cease to be, we will all join together in another realm, forever bound. Our tasks will have been completed and we will rest, dormant but together.”
A silence hung in the air.
“A bit heavy, Lesti,” mumbled Luna.
“Indeed. My apologies for laying such reality-altering information on you so suddenly. But I’m afraid there is more.”
“Yes!” squealed Luna. “Your bonds to us make you the perfect teammates for our game.”
“Game?” scoffed Fleur. “We’re playing a game?”
“It’s more than a game. It’s a competition,” replied Celestia. “It’s a simulated battle, essentially. Well, it’s a tad more than simulated. Luna and I battle each other, with the aid of chosen teammates.”
"Battle?” worried Tree Hugger. “That’s no way to align chakras.”
“Chakras are dead!” seethed Luna. “This is about bonds!”
“Settle, Luna, settle,” calmed Celestia. “I understand your trepidation, Tree Hugger, but despite the violent nature of the act, it is a bonding experience. We have engaged in this battle before. I can assure you that in our own experiences, while we are enemies in the battle itself, we have found comradery afterwards. The shared experience and trauma of battle has a way of bringing ponies together. That is what we are hoping to recapture here.”
“Okay, so let me get this straight,” interjected Cheerilee. “We are bound to you, only one of you, and this is something that just exists without any real reason or explanation. These bonds don’t give us special powers but we do have some sort of get-together in the afterlife set up. And it’s because of these bonds that we were chosen to be your teammates in a simulated battle. Is that about it?”
“More or less,” Celestia nodded sheepishly.
“Righteous summation, dude,” Tree Hugger whispered to Cheerilee, giving her a lazy wink.
“Though there is something to be said about the ‘special powers’, and that leads into the competition,” Celestia said.
“Yes,” chimed Luna. “This bond, while not overly impressive on its own, does give you all an opportunity to be quite impressive. If my sister and I were naught but sloven dregs – uh, I mean regular ponies, the bond would be barely useful. However, since you six are bound to us, you have the unique ability to house and utilize our powers the way we do.”
“What?!” cried Cup Cake.
“Goodness!” gasped Rarity.
“Yes,” calmed Celestia over the din of awe. “The one benefit the bond does have is that it allows the ponies who are bound together to harness their bondmates’ abilities. Only to some degree and only for a finite amount of time, of course. If a pegasus and an earth pony were bound together, it would still be impossible for the earth pony to fly. However, they would certainly attain the speed and agility of the pegasus, but only for the time in which they were needed.”
“So, by being close to you we’ll gain alicorn powers?” asked Fleur with a glint of hope in her voice.
“Not entirely, but you’ll certainly gain powers. However, the natural process could take years, even decades. We don’t have that kind of time.”
“Well, they don’t,” mumbled Luna under her breath. She quickly changed tone when she caught the sideways glare from her sister. “Oop…Uhh, because our timeline is somewhat compressed, we’re giving it…what was that phrase you told me to use, Lesti? Oh! Giving it a push.”
Celestia nodded. “Exactly. We have a way of…encouraging the bond to mature within a few days’ time.”
“That sounds a little dangerous,” mentioned Fleur.
“It isn’t,” sternly rebutted Luna.
“Don’t fret about it,” calmly added Celestia. “It’s perfectly safe. We don’t believe there to be any side effects.”
“And it’s with these powers we’ll fight?” inquired Rarity.
“Quite,” acknowledged Celestia. “On that topic, a bit about the competition. The premise is simple: the last pony standing wins for her team. The methods of winning are up to your discretion. There are only three rules to which you must adhere.”
Luna took over and recited the rules. After she had finished some of the mares shifted uncomfortably while others wore worried expressions. There was an incredibly pregnant pause. Finally, Cheerilee decided to push that baby out: “Are you saying it is possible to die in this competition?”
“Nay,” replied Luna, sounding a tad sullen.
“We have taken precautions,” said Celestia. “It will be incredibly difficult – nearly impossible – for the participants to die. The spectators” – she gestured air quotes – “however, will not be nearly as protected as you. Therefore, you may use them as you see fit, but it is against the rules to remove them from existence. So, do take care with them. That’s all that means.” She didn’t give a chance for more questions. “But for now I suggest you all get some rest. We start early tomorrow and there is much to do. You’ll room with your bond mates.” The double doors opened and a host of servants walked in. “They’ll escort you to your rooms where you’ll get a chance to relax and discuss. Dinner will be at six o’clock sharp.”
It was clear from her tone that the sisters were done with the conversation. The collected mares reluctantly left the room except for Granny Smith, who sat in place, peacefully sleeping. Celestia cleared her throat to wake the old pony.
With a snort, Granny awoke. “Huh? Wuh? Oh. Sorry, dearies, must have drifted off. In my day we didn’t have time for lengthy exposition.”
It was difficult to say for sure, but they were somewhere under Cantelot, likely deep within the mountain. The eight mares entered the room. It was a large room, to understate it. The cross-vaulted ceiling towered overhead, at least 300 ft high. Giant cylindrical columns were evenly dispersed, alternating between marble and granite. The floor was a sea of dark stone, occasionally broken by geometric patterns of lighter stone. From where they stood, the mares couldn’t see the other end and either side was at least 250 yards away. The formidable onyx doors shut loudly behind the princesses.
“This is quite impressive,” Rarity yawned, “but did we have to wake so early to see it?”
“Agreed,” yawned Fleur.
“Sleep is only necessary when your chakra is unwell,” offered Tree Hugger as she gently swayed in a non-existent breeze.
Cheerilee and Cup Cake stood alert and ready. Neither of them seemed phased by the early wake up call. Granny, however, slept where she stood.
“We have much to go through if you are all to be combat ready by this weekend,” stated Celestia.
“So soon?” asked Cheerilee. “I’ve been wondering: Is it really possible for us to become acquainted with our new powers and form bonds with each other so quickly? Won’t that have some sort of adverse effect? I know you said it wouldn’t, but still…”
“Indeed, it is possible to form bonds so quickly,” said Luna, “as we stated yesterday. We have a way of aiding the process. However, it will go much quicker if we are divided by teams. The proximity to ponies of the other sister is hampering the process. So…be gone, wench!” Luna stomped at the teacher.
Cheerilee jumped back and looked as somepony had just snapped her favorite piece of chalk in two. The other ponies split up, gathering near their respective princess.
Celestia spoke: “Until the battle, it is best if you do not contact any pony from the other team. Not only does this hinder the bonding process, but we also must make certain that no information is being exchanged. When we meet in battle we will know the full extent of each other’s power. Not until then.”
“Quite,” Luna agreed.
“Now, for the most important part. We will accelerate the bond and give to you the powers you will use. Our powers.”
The sisters stepped next to each other. Their horns lit up and a ball of light appeared above them. It shimmered for a moment before busting into an equally brilliant cloud. Tendrils of cloud wisped down, wrapping around each mare, coating them with a frosted glow. More quickly than it was produced, the glow disappeared and all looked normal again.
“Was that it?” asked Cup Cake.
“Yes,” nodded Celestia. “You have our powers and the bonding has been accelerated exponentially.”
“I don’t feel any differently,” added Rarity.
“You shouldn’t,” Luna said flatly. “You should feel as you normally do. You should feel as though you’ve had these power all along. Your capabilities, however, have vastly expanded. Perhaps a small demonstration. Rarity, would you be so kind as to destroy one of those columns?”
The fashion pony looked at the massive pillars. “Um, princess, I believe that is a rather…tall order.”
“Not anymore. If you would.”
Rarity turned to a column and got in a bracing stance. She lowered her head and aimed her horn. She grimaced and she charged up her horn. Then a mighty blast erupted from the posh unicorn, sending her hurtling backwards. She flew for nearly twenty yards before she slammed into another pillar, embedding herself in the marble.
As the dust settled Rarity levitated herself out of the hole and shook off her daze. “My goodness,” she muttered. She looked at her work and saw the pillar she had targeted had a gaping hole blown in it, essentially severing the top and bottom.
While the other mares voiced their awe and impression Rarity heard a groan from behind her. Turning to the impact crater she made in the column she saw Cheerilee crawl out of the hole. She rolled out and landed on her hooves. Rarity gasped and looked back to the collected mares, noticing that the spot Cheerilee had been standing in was directly in Rarity’s launch path.
“Wow,” Cheerilee breathed, shaking off the rubble. “Thought I was a goner for sure.” She looked at Rarity and arched her eyebrows. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. Sorry, dear, I was unprepared for that.”
“Rarity!” called Luna. “Please refrain from pleasantries.”
“Oops! Oh, uh…you had it coming, darling!” she spat at Cheerilee.
“What?” recoiled the teacher. “What?!” she barked and grimaced incredulously at the unicorn who strutted haughtily away. Cheerilee growled as she followed Rarity, both coming back to their respective teams.
“So,” said Celestia as the damaged pillar began to repair itself, “as you have seen, you are all now capable of such feats. As Rarity has demonstrated, you all have power only dreamed of by normal ponies. And as Cheerilee demonstrated, albeit accidentally, you also have been shielded from damage. You can endure violence that would typically be the end of anypony else.”
“Though,” interjected Luna, “it is only fair to state that your shield will not last. The more it is tested, the weaker it will become.”
“The same for your powers,” added Celestia. “Don’t worry too much,” she smiled. “It will take quite a bit of effort to deplete them.”
“Y’all saying we have them fancy princess powers y’all have?” Granny inquired skeptically, having been woken by the blast.
“Yes,” Celestia said shortly.
“Ah see…” Granny narrowed her eyes at white alicorn and was still for a moment. She then walked over to Celestia and with her front hoof promptly kicked the princess in the leg.
“Ow! Ow ow ow ow ow.” Celestia hopped in place, cringing from the assault by the geriatric pony. Luna had taken to the floor, overcome with laughter.
“Don’t take that tone with me. Y’all need t’be respecting yer elders,” Granny huffed.
“I thought you said we had shields,” inquired Cheerilee.
“You do. They’re more useful for protecting you against things that can kill you than a kick to the shin,” Celestia replied, breathing through her teeth.
“Seems flawed,” Cheerilee mumbled.
“Yes, well, I think this is a good time to continue to the next order of business, which will be to supply you all with appropriate armor,” Celestia said, rubbing her leg and wiping away a tear.
“If we have the shield, do we really need the armor?” asked Fleur.
“Armor is armor, my dear,” Celestia replied. “Why stop at one layer of protection when you can have two?”
“Additionally, it looks wicked bitchin’,” chimed Luna, garnering a sigh from her sister.
The princesses led their teams over to two tables, each set with four sets of armor, all with a tag indicating to whom it belonged. Some tried some of it on while others simply held on to it. After they collected and inspected their respective armor Luna spoke.
“If that is all then I suggest this be the end of cordiality. Shall we enter our camps?”
“Agreed,” Celestia replied. “Sister,” she bowed, “and her team, I wish you the best of luck. We shall see you in a few days.”
Luna gave Celestia and her team a similar goodbye, though it seemed less sincere. The other mares all said their goodbyes to each other. It was mostly good natured – or at least courteous – save for Cheerilee, who already seemed sour at Rarity.
The next three days saw the mares exploring their new powers. From either side of the training room the sounds of explosions and lasers and battle cries could be heard. However, Luna and Celestia had put up a barrier that made each team invisible to the other. Of course, even if the barrier hadn’t been set up they would have been little to see because of the size of the room and the forest of columns in between. Both sisters were adamant about remaining ignorant of the other team’s abilities until the battle. Celestia informed her team that the potential of being surprised by an opponent’s abilities is a sure way to keep alert in battle. Luna said that not knowing made you feel more alive because your opponent could surprise you with death.
Not only were the mares growing comfortable with their powers but also with each other. In Celestia’s camp the four mares were rapidly growing out of their initial confusion, uncomfortableness, and even disdain for another’s lifestyle. Celestia had set aside a few hours each day just so they could talk with each other. Cheerilee and Celestia quickly bonded over more erudite topics while Tree Hugger and Fleur found common ground in their distaste for black apparel. Tree Hugger and Celestia found common ground on the topic of the unappreciated movement of the sun in relation to shadows. Cheerilee and Fleur confided in each other that even though their professions put them in front of audiences on a daily basis, they still got stage fright. They all enjoyed a good tea. And most importantly they all were in agreement that the Wonderbolts’ swimsuit calendar was needlessly racy – and they were all fine with it.
In Luna’s camp comradery was gained mostly through practice and preparation. However, Luna also understood that emotional connections were important. Her team bonded through sharing stories of pain and hardship and then commiserating. Rarity told of the stress she was under keeping an eye on all her stores and also watching her sister, Sweetie Belle. Also, she felt most of her friends just didn’t understand her. Cup Cake upped the ante with tales of horror about dealing with her business, nightmares of twins, and of course Pinkie Pie. Luna went straight for her time on the moon and then dolloped on a few tales of her inability to fit in to modern society. Granny went on a half hour rant about the other three wasting time feeling sorry for themselves and then proceeded to spend the next two hours regaling them with all the hardships she experienced growing up on the farm.
As the last day of preparation drew to a close, the mares put finishing touches on their powers. They polished their armor and gave pep talks. In Celestia’s camp the four mares held hooves and meditated. In Luna’s camp they exchanged hearty punches and slaps to shoulders and flanks, an action which Rarity was initially opposed to but soon found that her burgeoning comradery allowed her flank to be encouragingly slapped. For Celestia’s team the last few hours before bed were spent snacking and telling stories, some real, some fairy tales. For Luna’s team, the time before bed was spent riling each other up, instilling in each other a sense of pride and the notion that this was the most important thing any of them would ever do in their lives. And then, at last, they all slept.
*
Twilight was preparing lesson plans for next week and having a terrible time of it. She thought it’d be easy teaching foals, but suddenly she found herself wondering how Cheerilee managed to keep it all laid out. The past three days had been a mess and she was desperate to get on Cheerilee’s level. As she pondered her potential lessons a scroll suddenly appeared in front of her. It was instantly recognizable as belonging to Princess Celestia. She was a bit puzzled, though – for Celestia to send a letter bypassing Spike was rare. Twilight opened it quickly and read aloud:
Dearest Twilight,
I apologize for my shortness the other day but it was a matter of utmost secrecy and I could not risk questions or intervention. Thusly to the matter at hoof: Starting tomorrow at sundown I will be participating in an exercise of violence, degradation, fun, and questionable ethics. You are NOT to intervene. There will be seven other mares participating as well. You are NOT to intervene. The other mares are Luna, Fleur di Lis, Cup Cake, Granny Smith, Cheerilee, Rarity, and Tree Hugger. You are NOT to intervene. Whatever you see or hear of myself or these mares doing, you are NOT TO INTERVENE! Injury and destruction are likely to occur. Do NOT intervene! Do not order intervention on your behalf. Cadance will be receiving a similar note. Do NOT order intervention on her behalf. Do NOT intervene on my behalf or the behalf of any of the participants. Do NOT ask for intervention from any pony or creature, especially Discord. You are to teach in Cheerilee’s stead and do nothing else.
Do NOT notify anypony of this exercise before it has begun or while it is happening. I will send you a scroll when the exercise is over.
Twilight, you have long been my most faithful and trusted student. Do not make me reconsider that assessment.
All the best,
Princess Celestia
P.S. – I swear to the Smooze, Twilight, DO NOT INTERVENE!
Twilight sat in stunned silence. She was completely at a loss for words. Princess Celestia was willing putting herself in danger for a reason that was not the protection of Equestria. Not to mention Luna, Rarity, and a hoofful of secondary and tertiary ponies were involved. And she gave Twilight explicit instructions not to intervene. That’s not right. Twilight always intervenes. That’s her thing.
She thought about the letter and made a decision. “Maybe if I just – AH!” Spike, having come from somewhere, slapped her upside the head.
“No! Bad Twilight! You sit!” He pointed to the chair she was already sitting in. She recoiled a bit and whimpered, giving him sad eyes. “Nope! The letter says not to intervene. So don’t.”
“But…”
“Nope!” Twilight’s body language suggested she conceded. “Stay!” Twilight nodded. “Good girl. Now, since you’re being so good, I have something for you.” Spike produced a book from behind his back and handed it to Twilight.
Twilight squealed. “The History of the Excommunication of the Parasprites from the Changeling Swarm! This is one of the long-lost tomes on the history of Equestria!”
“And if you stay out of Celestia’s business I’ll give you the sequel.”
The sun was setting. The light was waning. Shadows grew longer. Celestia and Luna had put their respective celestial bodies on autopilot for the next few days. All their other duties had been either suspended or given to somepony they deemed capable of the task.
Eight mares entered into a large courtyard in the middle of the castle grounds. Luna’s team entered from the south entrance, Celestia’s from the north. They stopped about ten yards short of each other at the edge of an ornate cobblestone circle. A gentle breeze swept across the scene. The mares looked at each other, glances and nods to their teammates, glares and smirks at their opponents. The setting sun glinted off their armor; Celestia’s team’s a shameless gold, Luna’s team’s a piercing silver. The air was thick with tension and anticipation. Even though it had only been a few short days of preparation, there was a sense that this was something that had been building for a long time and the release would be extremely satisfying. Like a really good sneeze.
As the sun finally disappeared behind the horizon, Celestia spoke. “Ladies, let us take a moment to appreciate this…moment.” She stumbled over the sentence and cursed herself. “This is meant to be fun, even if we are trying to annihilate our opponents. I also do hope none of you will let this come in between your relationships with each other. This isn’t meant to – AHHH!” Celestia recoiled from the sting of a small laser blast from Luna.
“Knock it off, chode!” the blue alicorn bellowed. “The time for pleasantries has long since passed. Now we battle!”
Celestia sneered at her sister. “Very well, witch. If you are so eager to be humiliated then I will not make you wait any longer. PONIES! READY YOURSELVES!”
Horns lit up, hooves dug in, nostrils flared, loins girded. The mares locked eyes with their opposing member – Celestia across from Luna, Cheerilee and Rarity, Fleur and Cup Cake, and Tree Hugger and Granny. For a split second the breeze subsided and all sound departed the scene. And then: “TURN THEM TO DUST!” Celestia screamed as she charged forward. “RIP THEM TO SHREDS!” bellowed Luna, meeting her sister’s action.
The princesses collided in a flash of color that sent them both hurtling through the air. They quickly righted themselves and bolted to each other again, kicking, punching and zapping as fiercely as they could. They moved through the air so quickly it was nearly impossible to see them. Bursts of light and the sound of explosions were the only certain ways to track their movements.
The rest of the combatants on the ground quickly began exploring their combat abilities. Rarity zapped Fleur immediately, catching the model off-guard and sending her tumbling across the courtyard. While Rarity prided herself in her first strike, she did not see Cheerilee bound in. The fashionista was still reeling from being tackled when she recognized the situation. On the ground Cheerilee was holding her from behind, her front legs wrapped tightly around Rarity’s chest. The unicorn was surprised to feel the rapid kicking of Cheerilee’s back hooves against her armor. Though she was even more surprised to feel the aggressive gnawing on her ear.
“Wha?! Biting, darling? Really?! Are you a cat?” Her horn lit up and she tossed the teacher far away. “Pest!” she called.
Meanwhile, Cup Cake ran headlong into Tree Hugger, who stood staring at the royal sisters battling in the sky. The hippie soon found herself watching the sky whilst sailing through it. She landed hard in a koi pond. Fleur rushed back into the fray and jumped on Granny and immediately began flailing hooves against the old pony. Granny took the blows well and patiently waited for Fleur to either change tactics or to tire. In the split second that she did, Granny gave Fleur’s stomach a hearty apple-bucking, sending the fancy unicorn a good 50 feet straight up. Granny righted herself and watched her target fall back to earth. Just as Fleur was about to hit the ground Granny gave an almighty buck with her hind legs and sent the unicorn on an arc that would have made any geometer proud.
“Granny, deary, are you alright?” Cup Cake asked, running up to the elder pony.
“I’m fine!” she barked. “Now stop the chin waggin’ and get to fightin’!” She ran off into the fracas.
Cup Cake was just about to follow when she received a kick to the cheek from Cheerilee, who flew in from somewhere. The hit wasn’t enough to knock her off her hooves but certainly send her staggering. She shook off the kick to find the teacher already attacking again. Cheerilee t-boned her, her head colliding solidly with the side of the baker. Fortunately for Cup Cake, her armor – combined with the fact that her midsection had some natural padding – absorbed any bodily harm. However, the force was enough to knock her off balance and send her stumbling to the ground. She quickly got into a defensive position and prepared for another hit but surprisingly found none. Cheerilee had disappeared. In her place was a smoldering crater.
“Eyes up, cake master!” Luna advised as she zipped by, smoke wisping from her horn.
Cup Cake barely saw her team leader pass when she was blasted into her own little crater. Celestia rushed by, chasing Luna. As she did she used her magic to pull Cheerilee out of her crater. She brought the teacher next her. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. Just a little disappointed I didn’t see Luna coming.”
“It’s okay. She’s fast. But egocentric and terrible at poker.” Cheerilee tried to figure out how that was relevant to the current situation but was interrupted but Celestia. “How about the Goodbye Hug?”
Cheerilee smiled mischievously. “Absolutely.”
The pair chased Luna around a few towers of the castle, occasionally dodging some laser blasts fired back at them. When they got a good straightaway they performed their move. With a curt nod Cheerilee acknowledged she was ready. Celestia quickly teleported the teacher from her side to directly in front of Luna.
“Hello!” the teacher chimed happily.
“What?!” was all Luna managed to get out before Cheerilee glomped onto her face. Luna stopped her flight to try to free herself from the face-hugging pony, desperately thrashing about. Cheerilee clung tightly. From behind Celestia shot forward at breakneck speed. Just as she was about to collide with Luna she teleported Cheerilee away. Luna screamed as she took the hit and crashed into the castle garden below. Celestia brought Cheerilee back to her side and the two looked down at the cloud of dust that rose from the garden. The two mares shared a hoof bump.
“Quickly, let’s help the others while we can,” said Celestia. They dropped to the ground and quickly found plenty to do.
Celestia discovered Fleur struggling to get out of a headlock by Mrs. Cake whilst Rarity pelted the poor model with a barrage of thread spools. The princess ran over and picked up Rarity and threw her like an elegant lawn dart. She also quickly dispatched of Cup Cake, tossing her aside with her magic. “Are you alright?” she asked Fleur, straightening her armor.
“I’m sorry, Celestia. I didn’t see her…I was so focused on Rarity. I’ll...I’ll do better. I promise.”
“I know you will,” Celestia replied with a nod.
Upon landing, Cheerilee had spilt from Celestia and immediately began searching for an opponent. She had seen that Celestia was dealing with Rarity and Cup Cake and knew that Luna was probably still climbing out of her hole in the garden. That left only Granny Smith unaccounted for. Cheerilee began searching for her.
Back in the garden Luna dusted herself off. She had been surprised there hadn’t been an immediate follow up to the attack. More surprising was that Celestia hadn’t stuck around to gloat. The most surprising thing had been the attack itself. It had been well-executed and undoubtedly well-practiced. She’d never admit it – at least not to Celestia – but she was impressed by the attack. Especially by the boldness and confidence of that teacher pony. She’d have to keep an eye on her from now on. Still, the surprise made her feel alive. She grinned a somewhat masochistic grin and bounded back into the fray.
Meanwhile, Granny creaked about, searching for that lazy pony she hadn’t taken a likin’ to. She left the courtyard, having seen hippie nonchalantly trot off after crawling out of the koi pond. The old mare peered around an archway and scanned the cobblestone alley that extended either way. Tree Hugger was gone. At her languid pace she couldn’t have gotten far. There was nothing out of the ordinary about the alley – save for the absence of Tree Hugger – but there was definitely something peculiar about the scene. Granny chose to go right and cautiously made her way down the alley. The sound of the other mares fighting was still close enough to mask most other sounds, which made the old mare even more uneasy. Still she continued. She’d gone about a hundred feet when she stopped and peered over her shoulder.
Nothing. But something was off. She could feel it. She was being watched, that much was certain. She continued on, her hooves, despite being covered by the metal armor, softly padding on the cobblestones. She came to a T intersection and looked to all three directions. The new alley to her left led between two buildings that looked like they were likely used for clerical purposes. Granny decided to try this new direction.
She moved slowly – or slower than usual. She scanned every window she passed, even the ones shuttered. All the ponies had gone home for the day so all the rooms were dark. She stepped to her left and looked into one of the open windows. There was only darkness inside. Then a noise from behind her grabbed her attention. It came from the window on the other side of the alley. She squinted at it, scanning the shutters, which were closed. Silence fell over the alley.
Tree Hugger quickly snatched Granny from behind, pulling her into the darkened room. “Welcome to the dark,” she said. “Embrace the blackness and engage your other senses. Be one with your surroundings.”
“The only sense you need to engage is common sense,” Granny snapped, breaking free of Tree Hugger’s grip. She quickly bucked at her opponent but failed to connect. She turned to find that the hippie was gone.
“Just relax, bruh, you’re harshin’ my vibe” a disembodied voice sighed.
“C’mon out now, y’hear?!” Granny called.
“Naw. I’m just going to meditate on the matter at hoof. You should do the same. We’ll find each other that way.”
Granny did a quick once over of the room, which appear to be some kind of office. When she didn’t find anything that caught her attention she started trotting in the direction she thought the voice had come from. It was deeper in the building. She walked out of the room and into the hallway. It was almost pitch black and she was having trouble making out exactly what were her surroundings. Judging by the room she just left and the austere hallway, it appeared to be some kind of administrative building but she couldn’t be sure.
Slowly, she made her way down the hall, constantly scanning the darkness. She passed a room to her left and looked into the blackness. It was still. Quiet. It felt wrong but not wrong enough. No, the hippie wasn’t in there. She passed two more rooms on either side of her but found nothing. In the third room on her left, however, she found a faint glow. Inching into the threshold she saw Tree Hugger meditating, surrounded by a few candles. Her golden armor shimmered and sparkled off the candlelight.
“At long last we meet again,” Tree Hugger breathed.
“It ain’t been but a few minutes,” Granny scoffed.
“Long enough,” replied the hippie. She opened her eyes and an impish look lurked in her otherwise distant irises.
Granny wasn’t about to be looked at like that. She lunged at Tree Hugger. She hit nothing save for darkness. The candles had gone out and her target was no longer there. Granny growled and searched around, finding nothing. She left the room disgruntled and continued on, determined to strike her target.
Back at the increasingly damaged courtyard, Fleur was having trouble with a certain fashionista. Although her early attacks had largely consisted of inaccurate flailing of hooves and shoddy laser blasts, Rarity’s approach had quickly refined itself. Her punches and kicks were accurate and her blocks were consistent. She learned the weak points on Fleur’s armor and body, attacking those points more frequently. However, even though she was taking a beating, Fleur was not about to give in so easily. Having been backed against a tall stone wall she waited for a break in Rarity’s assault. Finding a split second’s easement, she shoved Rarity back a few paces and shot a quick laser from her horn to push Rarity back even farther.
“Sorry, Rarity, I just…Oh my! Fancy Pants! What are you doing here?” Fleur looked in shock past Rarity.
Rarity turned around quickly in hopes of seeing the stallion. He was not there. In fact, nopony was behind her. Her eyes went wide as she realized what happened. She turned back just in time to see the wall behind Fleur tumble forward.
“Oh, horse apples,” muttered Rarity as the large stones crashed down on her.
Fleur emerged from her braced stance and the aura around her horn sputtered out. She looked at her work. A few stones of the wall immediately behind her remained in place while a pile of the cyclopean blocks lay just before her and a cloud of dust gently rose into the air. She could hear the muffled indignation of Rarity underneath the huge stones and quickly decided to leave. Her movement was labored, however, as she used a significant portion of her energy to bring the wall down. The pain from her previous beatings was beginning to surface as well. She hobbled away but remained determined to be of more use.
Granny climbed the stairs to the next floor and proceeded to walk down the hallway. While the second floor let in more light, the dimming on the horizon left the hall just a dark as the floor below. It didn’t take her long to find another candlelit room. Tree Hugger was in this room as well, meditating. However, she’d managed to find a different position for her meditation, specifically a few feet above the floor.
“Just ruminate on the occurrences,” whispered Tree Hugger, finding no reason to open her eyes.
Granny didn’t waste breath on conversation and again pounced at the hippie. Like last time she failed to connect and was left in a pitch black room. Granny quietly cursed Tree Hugger and went about searching the rest of the floor. As she approached the end of the hallway she found a third room with a dim light. She peeked in and once again found Tree Hugger meditating. She tried a different approach this time.
“Ain’t very sporting of ya to keep trickin’ me like this,” she accused.
“Tricking? No, I’m not…well, perhaps. Upon review of my conscious actions I have determined that I am indeed tricking you. But my motivation is not malicious. Entirely. I only wish to help my sisters in their endeavor. I mean you no harm. Personally.”
“Feelin’ ain’t mutual, missy,” growled Granny.
“I do apologize for the negative vibe between us,” the hippie said ethereally. She kept her eyes shut and floated gently above the candles. “Since there doesn’t seem to be any alleviation in these negative feelings towards each other perhaps I can persuade you to talk to somepony else. To help mediate our differences, of course.” With that she disappeared again and the room went dark, save for the light of one candle on the floor.
“Yer always runnin’ off!” hollered Granny.
“On the contrary, Granny,” said a voice from the darkness, “she’s never been here.” From the depths of the room came Cheerilee, slowly stepping into the light, the faint glow of the candle ominously flickering off her golden armor. She smiled wickedly. “Boo,” she said quietly.
“You,” growled the old mare. “Ya playin’ games, too, I see.”
“Who said I’m playing?” Cheerilee sneered before landing a couple of quick blows to the old mare’s face.
“Spunky lil’ thing, ain’t ya?” Granny said, retreating a few steps. “Very well.” She did not hesitate to engage in a boxing match with Cheerilee. It was like any other boxing match expect there was a lot less dancing around and a lot more punching.
In the dim light of the lone candle the mares exchanged demonstrations of their approach to boxing. Granny preferred the direct method, hitting as hard and as often as possible. Cheerilee preferred a tactical approach, her hits softer but well-placed and well-timed. As the metal of their armor collided is sent sparks flying, lighting up the room. After nearly a minute of unrelenting blows the mares finally separated.
They took a moment to catch their breath and to analyze each other. Their armor was chipped and scratched, manes and tails disheveled.
“Got some spunk in you as well,” Cheerilee stated.
“Apples got plenty of it,” Granny replied proudly, before turning around and bucking Cheerilee square in the chin. The teacher hit the ceiling and then continued into the floor above. Granny followed her up. “If ya had any more you’d make a good Apple yerself.”
“Oh, Granny, don’t go down that road,” Cheerilee warned.
“Or what?”
“This.” Cheerilee delivered a roundhouse kick that sent Granny through the wall.
“Ah see,” Granny growled, shaking off the rubble.
Cheerilee crawled through the hole and was immediately met by Granny, who slammed the teacher against the wall. The two fought viciously in the small room. They kicked, punched, bucked, and bit. They bounced off the walls and floor and ceiling, zipping all over in maroon and green streaks. By the time Granny finally punched Cheerilee out of the building the room was naught but a box of severely damaged or completely damaged office furniture and supplies.
Fleur scurried through the Royal Canterlot Garden, taking absolutely no time to smell any flowers or acknowledge any of the wildlife. She did notice that some of the vegetation seemed burnt but looked as though it was already several days old. She quickly put that aside and kept looking for a potential victim or assailant. She stopped. The bugs had stopped chirping as had the birds. She wasn’t alone.
Something dark zipped down into the garden in front of Fleur and she felt it land hard. It was Luna.
“Why hello, sister,” the Night Princess chortled. “Oh…wait…” She squinted at Fleur. “Never mind. I thought you were my sister.” She took off but then stopped. “Wait, I can still fight you.” She landed about ten yards from Fleur and studied her opponent.
“You prefer the night, yes?” ask Fleur, not waiting for Luna to analyze her.
“Of course!” Luna replied, slightly offended that she would be asked her preference.
“Too bad.” Fleur’s horn lit up and produced a dozen stage lights. With another flash of the horn a shimmering outfit appeared on the model. “Light rules!” The stage lights lit up and shone on Fleur. The outfit reflected and refracted the lights and immediately blinded Luna.
“AAARRGH!” the princess shrieked, recoiling from the force of the display.
“Take this!” cried Fleur, striking a pose and blinding Luna again. “And this! And this!” The model worked through half a dozen poses, each one forcing Luna to retreat further.
“You wretch!” yelled Luna. “’Tis unfair!”
“No such thing in this game!” Fleur posed again. “Hyaa!” she yelled, puffing out her chest. “Waachya!” She thrust her flank at Luna, the light from the professionally modelled posterior assaulting the princess. With Luna stunned Fleur readied a new attack. Her horn lit up again and Luna was bombarded by a flock of garments.
Temporarily dazed and disoriented by the light attack, Luna could not fight off the horde of fabric that assailed her. She couldn’t compose herself enough to prevent the clothes from stripping her of her armor. As soon as she was bare she fitted with a pencil skirt, a very fuzzy and very itchy sweater, and a scarf longer than Discord, all of which were far too tight. Fleur used the extra length of the scarf to tie Luna’s front legs together. After losing her balance, Luna fell forward and hit the ground with a royal thud.
Fleur huffed and puffed as she watched Luna struggle. She was tired and she knew she didn’t have enough energy to counter Luna when she was free. Deciding to take the small victory she quickly left, zig-zagging through the garden until she finally escaped the castle grounds.
It didn’t take Luna long to get out of the clothes but it did take a few minutes to gather up her armor that had been strewn about. All the while she was dressing she was cursing Fleur for the attack. Still, it was a good attack – it was clever and showed a knowledge of the enemy. But it also drained her. Luna knew Fleur didn’t have much energy left. She took off in the direction Fleur ran, intent on claiming the first knockout.
There was still plenty of fighting in the courtyard. Cup Cake had taken a defensive position against Celestia. Despite her relatively sluggish mobility and larger target area, Cup Cake proved a difficult pony to damage. Laser blasts had some effect but were hard to land due to the baker’s infuriating ability to deflect them. Also, any sort of physical assault was deemed nearly as ineffectual due to her extra cushion. Celestia had to change tactics. After a moment’s thought she removed all of the cobblestones beneath her and quickly dug down.
Mrs. Cake, who had hunkered down behind a pile of bricks, dared to look up, having not been assaulted for a good ten seconds. She didn’t see Celestia. All she saw a Celestia-sized hole in the ground. “Uh-oh.” That was all she was able to get out before the ground erupted from beneath her. She was thrown across the courtyard and partially buried under the debris from the explosion.
Celestia climbed out of the hole and walked over to Cup Cake. The baker was trying to free herself from the debris. It was easy pickings for the princess. She didn’t bother with a speech or snide remark. She simply blasted Cup Cake, who tumbled across the ground. The princess sent another blast her way only to have it returned to her, smacking her in the face and pushing her on her backside. She shook her head and saw Cup Cake getting up, holding a cookie sheet. Then the blue mare ran at the princess.
Out of curiosity Celestia let Cup Cake strike her with the cookie sheet just to see what kind of damage it could do. It was more than she thought. After a few blows she swatted the sheet away only to be staggered back from a swift punch to her cheek. She looked shocked.
“Sorry, deary,” offered Mrs. Cake, “but I never thought I’d see the day where I’d be able to strike a princess. Just making the most of it.”
“Understandable,” conceded Celestia with a cordial nod. “However, I admit to a nostalgia for the days I could openly strike my subjects. Like this!” She uppercut Mrs. Cake, sending her straight up. The baker was not in the air long before she collided with Luna and Fleur, who had been tumbling across the sky. The collision sent all three mares flying in different directions. Luna managed to right herself before she hit the ground but Cup Cake and Fleur crashed into a jewelry store and condominium, respectively.
“Oops and wow,” breathed Celestia as she watched the plumes of dust and smoke rise from the impacts. She focused on Luna, who was looking for whoever struck her so solidly.
Rarity pushed aside another large stone and finally crawled out from the rubble of the wall. Her armor had taken a beating but she was particularly upset about her mane. “My coiffure!” she mourned. Then she snarled at nopony in particular. “That insidious trollop!” she seethed, marching off to find the mare responsible for this crime against fabulosity.
She didn’t go far before she saw fighting at the other side of the courtyard. The royal sisters were locked in and epic punching fest. They held on to each other and repeatedly pummeled the other with swinging and flailing hooves. Given their unnatural proximity to each other Rarity wasn’t sure if they just preferred fighting that close or they’d gotten their armor stuck together.
As she rushed to help Luna a small explosion from her left forced her to stop. Granny and Cheerilee had just smashed through a wall and tumbled across the courtyard. Before Cheerilee could even stand she was blasted by Rarity and sent tumbling far away.
“Wuahaha!” the unicorn laughed. She was promptly tackled by Fleur, who had just rushed in from her crash landing. The posh unicorns took to wrestling and flailing at each other again.
Between the royal sisters Celestia briefly got the upper hoof when she whacked Luna’s horn with her own. This was something that Luna always hated and reacted accordingly.
“ARRGH!” Luna screamed, rubbing her horn. “Personal space, please!”
The momentary distraction was enough for Celestia to jump and, with the assistance of gravity, punch Luna’s face into the ground. Unfortunately, Celestia barely got to land when Luna’s back hooves connected with her chin and sent her hurling through the air.
Luna laughed maniacally but was cut short when tentacle-like things wrapped around her and picked her up. In the blink of any eye she was being repeatedly slammed into the ground. After a good ten seconds of savage pummeling, the tentacles released her. Groggily she watched the things retract to Tree Hugger until the hippie’s mane was again nothing more than dreadlocks.
“Groovy,” Tree Hugger breathed, admiring her mane.
Luna wobbly got to her hooves and was just making ready to retaliate when she was launched into the stratosphere by a blast from Celestia.
“Good work, my sister!” approved Celestia, smiling at the hippie before she bolted once more into the sky.
“No prob, Luminous One,” she said, giving a lazy salute as she basked in the connection she shared with the princess. The moment was short lived, however, as an apple arced across the sky and exploded at her hooves. The green pony was sent hurling across the courtyard and crashing into a wall. She tumbled out of the hole and searched for her assailant. More apples rained down toward her but she rolled out of the way.
Granny had managed to materialize a bushel of apples and was lobbing them at will. Tree Hugger flipped and dove and rolled all she could to avoid the exploding fruit. Eventually, her luck ran out and an apple bomb struck right under her hooves.
“Y’all are a quick one,” Granny grumbled, loading another apple into her hoof. “But ya ain’t quick enough.”
The smoke cleared and Tree Hugger was nowhere to be seen. Granny squinted her eyes, trying to find any trace of her target.
“Where are ya?” she growled. “Ain’t got no time for slackin’ off now!” she called. “Come out and do yer job!” She scanned the area but still found no sign of Tree Hugger.
Celestia and Luna once again battled across the sky, zapping, punching and kicking as they went. Despite Celestia’s larger size she was faster than Luna. Eventually, Luna knew she had to get away. With a bit of patience, she socked her sister directly in the snout and then teleported out of there. Celestia rubbed her snout and growled at the disappearance of Luna. Not wanting to waste any time looking for her she decided to find her team.
Granny was slinking about – well, as much “slinking” as Granny could do. She was struck violently from behind by Celestia, who had dived faster than a cannonball. The two slid destructively across the courtyard, tearing up cobblestones and dirt along their path. After they stopped Celestia began jumping on Granny, smooshing her into the dirt. Just as a gleeful smile spread across her face, Celestia was walloped from behind. She and Luna somersaulted over each other, rolling like a pair of combative tandem gymnasts.
Granny stood up and shook off the debris and spit the dirt out of her mouth. She looked around for something to do. She could help Rarity with Fleur. Celestia and Luna had taken off again. And Cup Cake had just reentered the courtyard and was chasing Cheerilee with a rolling pin. And then she saw her. That damned hippie.
Tree Hugger sat nonchalantly on the other side of the courtyard. The two mares stared at each other. Well, Granny glared daggers. Tree Hugger possessed a dazed look that suggested she wasn’t quite certain or aware of her location and situation. She did, however, possess just enough wherewithal to recognize that Granny was a threat. The hippie acted to defend herself. She grew blurry, as though there were several ghosts of her overlapping each other. And then each of those ghosts slid away from the central Tree Hugger and became opaque, looking like an exact copy of the hippie.
Granny was looking at least two dozen Tree Huggers, each one as real as the next. They started walking around, milling about, not paying the old mare any attention. Granny lost track of the central Tree Hugger. She huffed and threw an apple at the closest one. The apple exploded and the Tree Hugger dissipated. She threw another. Same result.
“Ain’t got time for your games,” snarled Granny. She tossed the bushel up and then bucked it high into the air. The apples spilled out, falling over a much wider area. Tree Hugger – the real one – was focused on maintaining her illusions did not notice the flock of apples approaching her.
“Watch out!” The warning came from somewhere but before Tree Hugger could locate it she was roughly pushed out of the way as enormous explosions erupted behind her. The blasts propelled her even further away and she tumbled. She quickly stood up and looked at the smoking crater where she recently stood. Moving swiftly through the haze she saw Fleur barely conscious in the bottom of the hole. Her armor was badly damaged and pieces were missing. She was scuffed and bruised all over. Tree Hugger scrambled down to her.
“There there, sister,” she soothed, gently patting Fleur’s hoof. The unicorn was breathing heavily and seemed to be trying to get up. “Just breath with me.” She began a slow rhythm of breathing, hoping to get Fleur to calm.
Celestia landed in the crater and put up a shield just in time to repel another blast. “Is she okay?”
“Her energy is almost gone. She needs rest,” replied Tree Hugger.
“I’m sorry,” wheezed Fleur. “I haven’t been of much aide.”
“Nonsense,” dismissed Celestia. She cradled the unicorn. More apple grenades rattled the shield around them. “You have fought bravely. You fought well. And you sacrificed yourself for your teammate, your sister. I am proud to have you on my team and I would gladly call for your services again.”
“Thank…you,” the unicorn managed to get out before she lost consciousness. A small shimmering white orb appeared above Fleur and an iridescent force field wrapped around her.
“Rest easy, my sister,” Celestia whispered, bowing her head.
“You are balanced,” added Tree Hugger, writing some sort of sign with her hoof.
Another blast hit the force field around the crater, jarring Celestia and Tree Hugger out of their solemn moment. The alicorn gently let Fleur to the ground and turned to the hippie. “So, it is three of us now. Let us refrain from holding back.” With that Celestia lowered her force field and shot out of the crater toward the source of the blasts. Tree Hugger couldn’t see much through the smoke but she heard an almighty explosion.
A small mischievous smile crept across her face. “Righteous.”
As the smoke in the crater cleared Tree Hugger was joined by Cheerilee, who had managed to escape the rolling pin-wielding Cup Cake.
“What happ – oh!” She looked solemnly at Fleur. “Poor girl. Is she…okay?”
“Just resting,” soothed Tree Hugger. “She’ll be alright. Celestia is seeing that her efforts will not be in vain.” She nodded in the direction of Celestia, who was in the air dodging exploding objects and lasers while firing lasers in return. It looked like Rarity and Luna had joined Granny.
“We should help,” conducted Cheerilee, and she ran to join her teammate.
“Indeed,” agreed Tree Hugger, following the teacher.
As they approached Celestia they searched for the assailants. Unfortunately, Celestia’s attacks had produced such a cloud of dust that Tree hugger and Cheerilee couldn’t see at whom she was firing. Thinking quickly, Cheerilee called Celestia down to them. Celestia set up a shield around them and they discussed their next move.
“What’s the next move?” asked Cheerilee.
“I think” – Celestia was interrupted by a few explosions against her shield – “we need to separate them again.”
“Yes. I can handle Granny,” offered the teacher.
“Hold up, dude,” said Tree Hugger. “The elder one had focused herself on me. She’s already frustrated with me. I think I can use that.”
“Very well,” agreed Celestia. “I can handle Luna. And assist with any other problems.”
Another round of explosions rocked the shield. “That leaves Cup Cake and Rarity for me,” accepted Cheerilee.
“For us,” corrected Tree Hugger. “Luna seems to concentrate on Celestia, so we won’t have much trouble with her. And Granny is fightin’ all upset-like. Too wild to last long, ya feel me? I can help with the others.”
“I love this!” Celestia cheered. “Sisters, we are down one but that means we fight harder. They haven’t seen the worst of us yet. Not even close!”
“I am with you,” confirmed Cheerilee.
“Normally I’d resist your violent nature,” stated Tree Hugger, “but I find my desire to help my sisters overwhelming any morals I possess. I feel it in my soul.”
“Let’s do this!” cried Celestia, as even more explosions rattled against the shield.
“What about this?” asked Cheerilee, pointing to the smoke rising from above them.
“Leave that to me.” Celestia’s horn lit up and the shield crystalized. A thousand lights glowed within the shield and with a little extra effort Celestia made each light as bright as the sun. On the other side the ponies that had been lobbing confectionaries and lasers were assailed by a violent display of light and they covered theirs eyes. Luna flew away. Celestia dropped the shield and bolted to the sky. Cheerilee and Tree Hugger left the crater and made for cover across the courtyard in a pile of rubble.
As the light dissipated Cup Cake, who had just joined her teammates, and Granny looked up to see nothing where their targets had been. They cautiously left their foxhole and wandered over to the crater. They found Fleur in there but nopony else.
“Is she…dead?” asked Cup Cake, gently prodding the mare.
“Don’t think so,” replied Granny. “I’ve seen dead. This ain’t what dead looks like.”
Cup Cake eyed Granny with trepidation and suspicion. She shook off the statement. “Then I guess she’s knocked out. And out of the game.”
“Mmm, I’m guessin’ yer right, what with the light above her n’ all.”
Cup Cake looked up to see the glowing white orb above Fleur. “Oh. So where are the others?”
“Escaped, ya nincompoop!” She slapped Cup Cake with a purse.
Luna landed about twenty yards away, still rubbing her eyes, and began surveying the scene. “They up ‘n left,” summed Granny to Luna, growling in annoyance.
“So, they’ve lost one and now retreated,” Luna said smugly, arrogantly scratching her chin.
“What now?” asked Rarity, stepping next to Luna. “Do we take a break to plan our next…”
“NO!” barked Granny.
“Nay,” agreed Luna. “We are simply – OOF!”
From the sky Celestia dropped in with a purpose. She landed in the middle of all four mares and through a barrage of kicks and punches quickly dispatched them. She launched backward and did a long, drawn-out backward somersault before landing on the far side of the courtyard. She stood there huffing as Cheerilee and Tree Hugger stepped next to her. She turned to them. With a nod she said, “Good luck, my sisters,” and ran off to engage Luna.
“YOU!” roared Granny from across the courtyard, straightening her helmet and pointing aggressively at Tree Hugger.
“Ah, it seems the elder has taken notice,” Tree Hugger stated calmly.
“After you,” Cheerilee said lightly.
Tree Hugger smiled brightly at Granny and called out a warm greeting, which only enraged the old mare even further. With a wink, Tree Hugger high-tailed it out of the courtyard. Granny chased after her, completely ignoring Cheerilee, who quickly followed the Apple matriarch. Rarity saw the chase begin and immediately joined, shooting lasers at Cheerilee. Cup Cake, slow to shake off the hit from Celestia, and was about to enter the chase when she again was hit by Celestia, a kick sending her crashing across the ground.
Luna tackled Celestia from behind, pinning her while she yelled to Cup Cake to follow the others. Cup Cake ran off as quickly as possible. Celestia rolled over and elbowed her sister in the side a few times. Luna begrudgingly let go and Celestia jumped up and took off. Luna coughed and heaved a few times before she chased after.
Through the streets and alleyways of Canterlot five mares pursued, caught and fought. A wall demolished here, a flower cart tossed there – the early morning darkness could not conceal the extravagant destruction wrought by these ponies. The hours of fighting had brought the citizens of Canterlot out of bed and into the streets to see what was going on. Those poor souls. While most of the early fighting had been confined to the castle grounds and its immediate vicinity, it was now spilling into the streets. Gossip quickly turned to firsthoof accounts as Rarity, Cheerilee, Granny, Tree Hugger, and Cup Cake pummeled, smashed, and zapped their way through the fanciest neighborhoods and shopping districts. Bystanders were quickly thrown into the middle of an epic battle; some were even thrown. The mares split up, Cheerilee taking on Rarity and Cup Cake, Tree Hugger fighting Granny.
Cheerilee was mostly on the defensive the entire time. Two on one is poor odds in any situation but this was worse. At nearly every turn the teacher was getting bucked or zapped. That’s not to say she didn’t land a few blows of her own but for the most part she was losing the battle. Tree Hugger fared a bit better. As she expected, Granny was a bit uninhibited by her aggravation with the hippie. She purposely led Granny on, riling her up and attacking when the old mare was too frustrated to defend properly. Unlike her teammate, Tree Hugger was winning her battle.
After hours of blasting, hiding, punching, chasing and bucking, the mares remarkedly met up again in the lobby of a theater. By the time the five mares left there wasn’t much of a lobby to speak of. With two other opponents focusing on her, Tree Hugger could no longer use Granny’s temper against her and she and Cheerilee had to retreat. They ran quickly through the streets, turning frequently so as not to allow for a straight shot. The chase finally ended in an alleyway that stopped at the mountainside.
“Gotcha now, ya hooligans,” Granny smirked through gritted teeth.
“Yes, darlings,” Rarity agreed, catching her breath, “it was an extraneous exercise but I do believe this is where we dispatch of you!” She growled maliciously.
Cheerilee and Tree Hugger backed up until their tails bumped against the mountain. High walls of buildings on either side of them prevented any escape. Granny, Rarity, and Cup Cake slowly advanced down the alley toward their cornered prey. The sun peaked over the horizon and illuminated the mountainside.
“What do you think, Tree Hugger?” asked Cheerilee. “Do you think they’ve got us?”
“My sister, as thus my soul has not been captured, neither have I. I believe…Well, it doesn’t matter. In this moment I am one with my surroundings. One with the cobblestones at my hooves, the brick walls at my sides, my beautiful sister next to me…” Her voice was soft and breezy, as though even a zephyr could whisk it away. “I am even one with gnarled gnomes that stand before me.” That statement elicited some scoffs and rancor from the opposing mares. “But mostly, right now, I am one with the wind. Whoooooosh.” She sang the last bit and a gust of wind lifted her upwards.
“Bye!” waved Cheerilee mockingly. A tentacle of Tree Hugger’s mane grabbed Cheerilee around the midsection and lifted her as well. About a hundred yards up the mountainside the wind finally abated and let the two mares land on the rocks. They immediately began climbing.
“ARRRGH! After them!” barked Granny. Cup Cake and Rarity started forward. “Wait!” They stopped. “You go,” she ordered to Cup Cake. “You, just a sec,” she eyed Rarity. Cup Cake shrugged to Rarity and started to climb the mountain. Rarity waited while Granny trotted over to a pile of something covered by a large tarp. She tore off the tarp to reveal a small wagon laden with two casks. She bucked the casks off and pulled the wagon over to Rarity.
“What are we – MMPH!” Before Rarity could finish her thought Granny threw the harness and bridle on her. “Granny, what?”
“Get me up that mountain, prissy pants!” commanded Granny. Climbing aboard she snapped the reins. “Now git!”
Rarity tried to scoff in indignation but instead let out a very unladylike horse squeal as the reins slapped against her flank. She took off in a bolt, leaped out of the alleyway and started scrambling up the rocks. She found the going easier than she expected, especially since she was towing a dilapidated wagon, in which rode a dilapidated pony. For some perverse reason she found the task exhilarating. However, she didn’t care so much for the constant ordering and nagging from Granny.
“Get a move on, slacker! We got ‘em on the run! Prove ya unicorns ain’t just a bunch of dainties!”
A surge of rage built in Rarity and she picked up the pace until she was no longer climbing but instead actually running up the boulders. The old mare in the wagon was being severely jostled and was holding on for dear life.
About two hundred yards up their rapid ascent, Cheerilee stopped to look down. She saw Cup Cake about a hundred or so yards down the mountain and beyond that something kicking up a cloud of dust and rocks. Squinting, she could make out Rarity charging with a head full of steam, and she looked to be towing something. As she got closer Cheerilee could make out the load she was towing. It was an impressive feat, to say the least, and it certainly made Cheerilee reassess the strength and toughness of Rarity. Seeing that the other team was quickly gaining, she decided to get moving again and hurried to catch up to Tree Hugger.
“C’mon, young’un!” Granny hollered. “We’re gainin’ on ‘em!” She snapped the reins again.
“Ow!” cried Rarity but she ran even faster. She was soon nearly caught up with Cup Cake. As they approached the climbing baker Granny called out.
“Grab hold!” She stretched out her hoof and caught the outstretched hoof of Cup Cake, pulling her into the cart. “Now let’s get ‘em!”
Although the load was now heavier it didn’t seem to slow Rarity. She still tore up the mountain like her life depended on it.
Cheerilee and Tree Hugger scrambled up the rocky terrain with haste. As they went they kicked and threw rocks and boulders down on their pursuers. Rarity produced a shield that blocked all of it. Eventually, they found a small outcropping and scurried over the edge and into a conveniently placed cave. They took a moment to catch their breath before Cheerilee spoke.
“Damn! We haven’t split them up. Thought that’d get at least one of them.”
“We will.” Tree Hugger smiled and winked.
The hippie explained her plan. Cheerilee nodded and they went to separate parts of the cave, finding the deepest shadows to hide in. For a few moments the only sound they heard was the cold howling wind. Then Rarity quickly bounded onto the outcrop, the wagon in tow. The unicorn was running on adrenaline and anger and it was difficult to tell if her heavy breathing was from the effort she just put in or a reaction to Granny’s berating and having rocks thrown on her. Either way, she was raging.
Granny unbuckled Rarity from the harness and bridle and gave her a quick pat on the head and offered her some oats, which Rarity scarfed down. The three mares stepped cautiously into the cave. Nothing moved, save for the wind.
“Whooooo gooooes theeere?” came a voice from deep within the cave, echoing off the walls.
“Ya ain’t foolin’ me again!” called Granny.
“Yooooouu suuuuure?” It was difficult to say whether it was Tree Hugger’s voice or Cheerilee’s. It sounded a bit like a mix of the two.
“Keep yer eyes up, girls,” warned Granny. “Tricksters these two.”
Immediately Cup Cake was grabbed around the midsection by tentacle dreadlocks and flung fast and far from the cave. Her scream faded as she fell through open air over a half mile down to the city.
Rarity quickly put up a shield around herself and Granny. Just as she did few stalactites dropped down, crashing on the shield. Then the whole ceiling seemed to give way, burying the two. Rarity struggled to keep the shield up. Eventually, the shield gave out and the weight of the rocks fell on them.
Cheerilee and Tree Hugger made a break for it, running out of the cave and along the edge of the outcropping until it turned into a trail barely wide enough for one pony. They moved gingerly and quickly as they rounded a corner. Tree Hugger, being behind Cheerilee, looked back. She didn’t see anypony behind them but she did see something else.
“Yo, dude,” she called. “Hold up.”
Cheerilee stopped and looked to where Tree Hugger was pointing. It was a vertical crevasse in the rock, just deep enough to hide both of them. And more importantly, it was facing away from the direction of the other team. They quickly hid inside.
Back at the cave, a few solid bucks opened a hole in the pile of rocks. Granny pulled Rarity out from under the rocks. “They gone this way,” she stated, motioning towards the trail. Granny went first, moving at a determined speed. Rarity, still brushing off some rubble, followed closely.
Cheerilee shushed Tree Hugger, who’d been humming as she meditated. The plan was simple: let Granny and Rarity go by and then buck them off the mountain, hopefully sending them to join Cup Cake. Simple.
Meanwhile, not too far way, Celestia and Luna were having another bout in the sky, this time through a cloud bank. Twirling, barrel-rolling, diving – all were done in and out of the clouds. After a steep dive they were on their way back up when they were briefly interrupted by Cup Cake, who was on her way down. They both stopped, watched the mare descend for a bit, and looked at each other and shrugged before fighting again. It was a savage back and forth. For a moment Celestia lost sight of her sister in a cloud, only to be struck from above. Shaking off the hit, she knew she had to regain control. Her horn lit up and brilliantly flashed. The cloud robustly amplified the light.
“AHHH! What is it with your team and light?!” bellowed Luna. She landed on a cloud and rubbed her eyes.
Taking the opportunity to look for her team, Celestia searched the city below. Nothing there. She sensed, however, that something was happening on the mountain. She couldn’t see her team, however, with her powerful alicorn eyes, she spotted Rarity and Granny walking along the mountainside above her. “Too easy,” she snickered. Her horn charged and she released a huge glowing ball of light and pain. It was the size of a house. She was proud of herself and she watched the thing hurtling through the sky. It was going to be a massive explosion. She focused on Granny and Rarity. They weren’t suspecting anything. Nor were Cheerilee and Tree Hugger, who just jumped them. Celestia’s eyes went wide.
The entire mountain seemed to shudder from the force of the explosion. Along with the tons of boulders that were dislodged and scattered, four ponies were sent tumbling through the air so far and so fast Celestia didn’t have time to react and pull her teammates out of their trajectory. All she could do was watch as they sailed far, far away. Probably to Ponyville. Judging by the arc they may even land beyond. Celestia put a hoof to her mouth. “Oops again.”
The sun had just peaked over the horizon and the Apple siblings were already working just as hard as ever. So hard, in fact, that they didn’t seem to notice the smoke rising from Canterlot in the distance. Even though Granny being gone should have meant less work, the prospect of her wrath and discipline upon finding out they’d slacked off was enough to keep them working. Big Mac pushed another bushel of apples onto the wagon while Applejack pulled another wagon out from the barn. They’d already filled two wagons with bushels for the market and were working on a third.
“It’s been nearly a week and we still ain’t heard nothing from Granny,” Apple Bloom complained with a yawn.
“I know, sugar cube, but ya just have to trust Granny. Ain’t nothin’ to get worried about.”
“I ain’t worried,” defended the filly. “Well, maybe a little.”
“I know. But she ain’t about to get into any trouble. ‘Sides, a pony her age knows how to look out for herself.”
“Eeyup,” added Big Mac.
“And if it was Princess Luna takin’ her somewhere,” Applejack continued, “I don’t think we have to worry too much. Luna is too responsible to let something happen to a pony in her care. Now fetch that bushel over – ”
The conversation was interrupted when just twenty feet away the ground exploded, sending the Apple siblings tumbling. As Applejack righted herself she shook her head to get the ringing out of her ears. The ringing subsided and the sound of an elder pony cussing old-fashioned-like entered her ears. She traced the sound to the new crater.
“Day’gum whippersnapper,” Granny grumbled, crawling out of the crater. “Ain’t got the decency to finish the job. I’m almost dead anyway!” she hollered, shaking her hoof at the sky.
“Granny!? What in tarnation…!?”
“Don’t you mind none, y’hear? And what are y’all doing sittin’ around? Get back to work!” And with that Granny launched herself into the air, leaving the stunned Apple siblings in a cloud of dust and questions. They didn’t know what was more shocking: the armor their grandmother wore, the fact that she fell to the earth and crawled out of a crater, or that she acted like them not working was a bigger deal.
Applejack tried to articulate her confusion. “What the f – ”
Another explosion rocked the farm as Granny was blasted back into the ground. This time, a maroon-ish streak followed her in, causing another explosion. The poor Apple siblings were besides themselves. They watched in disbelief as the cause of the maroon-ish streak crawled out of the new crater.
“Miss Cheerilee?!” cried Apple Bloom.
“Oh, good morning, Apple Bloom,” the teacher said in a bright cheerful tone. “And hello, Applejack,” she smiled, nodding cordially. She looked at Big Mac and snorted in malice.
“Cheerilee, what…why?!” Applejack cried, rushing over to the crater.
Before Cheerilee could respond and before Applejack could get a good look in the crater a geriatric green streak shot out of the hole, slamming into the back of the teacher and sending her flying.
“Wha-wha-what’s goin’ on?!” sputtered Applejack before she turned her attention to Cheerilee crashing through the roof of the barn. “Mah barn!”
The maroon mare landed hard in the loft but she was quickly up and in a defensive stance. When an attack didn’t immediately come she paused to listen. A thump outside announced the arrival of another contestant.
“Rarity?!” cried Applejack. “Wh-what?!”
“Oh, hello, darling,” Rarity greeted.
“Shush yerself!” Granny scolded.
Cheerilee heard Granny and Rarity whispering to each other. She couldn’t make out what they were saying and she decided to take the opportunity to slip out of the barn. She jumped out the open loft door and into the pig sty on the other side of the barn. She was initially repulsed by the consistency and odor of the muck she was standing in but then she considered the stuff. It didn’t take her long to plan her next move.
Cheerilee cleared her throat. “Here, piggy piggy piggy piggies!” she called in her best farmer impression. She could hear Granny and Rarity go silent before discussing something hurriedly, likely a plan of attack. She waited, but not long.
Granny zipped around the corner of the barn and burst through the sty fence. Cheerilee leapt over the attack and kicked Granny into the mud. Just as she landed Rarity struck from the other side, sending Cheerilee sliding across the sty. Not letting Rarity get the upper hoof she started splashing mud at the unicorn.
“EEWWW!” squealed Rarity, backpedaling from the onslaught of filth.
The Apple siblings ran around just in time to watch Granny push Rarity out of the way and throw mud in Cheerilee’s face. While she was distracted, Granny quickly moved behind the teacher and locked her in a full nelson. The teacher struggled against the geriatric assailant and eventually flipped her over the top of her. She turned and bucked Granny so hard the old mare blazed a trail through the mud and through the wall of the barn. The angle of Granny’s trajectory took her through the side wall of the barn, leaving a long gash in the base of the wall. She finally skidded to a halt some thirty yards down the way. Having briefly dispatched Granny, Cheerilee turned her attention to Rarity, who had finished cleaning the mud off her armor. She charged the unicorn and just before she got there dove forward. It seemed to happen in slow motion but really lasted only a second or two. Cheerilee flip-threw Rarity through the barn. Even though they were mortified at the time the Apple siblings would later agree that it was a very impressive move. Rarity crashed through the wall and then out the roof before crashing into an apple tree upon landing.
“Mah tree!” wailed Applejack.
Rarity plopped out of the tree and quickly leapt to her hooves. She’d found a new resolve. Nopony gets Rarity dirty except Rarity. She charged at full speed towards the barn. Assuming Cheerilee was still in the pig sty Rarity would catch her by surprise if she went straight through the barn. She was almost to the barn and charging up her horn –
“WAAAHH!”
She was met by a flying pig that had just crashed through the barn. It struck her square in the face and instantly brought her to a stop. There was barely a second between when she pried the swine from her face and when another one smacked into her. Then another and another. Each one punching a hole in the barn before is slammed into the unicorn.
From the pig sty Cheerilee picked up another pig and hurled it through the barn.
“MAH PIGS!” shrieked Applejack.
The oinkers zipped through the air and found their target. One by one they piled on Rarity until she was buried under a heap of would-be bacon. After all the pigs had been flung, Cheerilee waited, breathing hard. Something splashed into the mud next to her.
“Sorry, sister,” said Tree Hugger. “I fell in Everfree and I was briefly entranced by its chaotic vibe. It illuminated my soul.” She clutched her hoof to her chest.
“Sure. Anyway, I’ve got Rarity pinned but I’m not sure for how long. It’ll depend on how strong her aversion to pigs is. And I’m not sure about Granny.”
“I just saw the elder pony sneak around behind us. She’s getting ready to attack.”
“WHAT?!”
Cheerilee was quickly planted into the mud face first. Granny leapt at Tree Hugger and tackled her into the mud. She jumped on the hippie a few times, pushing her further down. Tree Hugger was nearly completely submerged when Cheerilee recovered and kicked Granny away. As she pulled her teammate from the mud she was t-boned by Rarity and sent flying through the sty fence. Unfortunately, Rarity had stopped right next to Tree Hugger, who promptly kicked her legs out from under her and rolled on top of her.
“Be one with your brethren swine,” hummed Tree Hugger, holding Rarity down.
“EWWWW! Ew! Ew! Ew! EEWWWWW!” Rarity squealed and cried, flailing about as she slowly sank into the mud.
“You’re one to talk!” shouted Granny as she grabbed hold of Tree Hugger and basically shot put her through the barn. “Take a bath, ya filthy thing!”
Cheerilee stood up and saw Granny helping Rarity, who was thoroughly stuck in the mud. Although they were distracted, Cheerilee did not attack. She reassessed the situation: she knew Sweet Apple Acres was not a place to fight Granny. The old mare knew this place better than her own grandchildren. It was best to find a different venue. She hurried off to find Tree Hugger.
With a sickening schlurp Rarity was finally pulled out of the mud. Despite being free she was still shaking from being covered in mud and pig filth. Granny smacked her across the face a few times to snap her out of it.
“Get with it!” ordered Granny.
“S-sorry, Granny, it’s just” – she looked herself over – “ew.”
“Never you mind none, y’hear? We got work to do.” She turned in time to look through one of the holes in the barn and see Cheerilee pulling Tree Hugger out of a tree. “There they are! Blast ‘em!”
Rarity aimed as best she could and fire a massive blast from her horn. The mud proved unstable and her accuracy was diminished. The laser tore through the hole but also tore off some more of the barn as well. It sailed just high of the intended targets and set ablaze the tree that Tree Hugger had just climbed out of.
“Ugh, this mud,” whined Rarity.
“Dagnabit, ya scared ‘em off!” barked Granny. Sure enough, Cheerilee and Tree Hugger had high-tailed it down the lane and were already cresting the hill toward Ponyville.
“Sorry,” apologized Rarity.
“Ain’t no time,” yelled Granny, barreling through the wall of the barn. “They’re gettin’ away!” Rarity quickly followed, using her magic to make the new hole a little larger and a little tidier for her to pass through.
As the four fighting mares left the scene the Apple siblings were left in stunned silence. They were splattered with mud from the pig sty. After a few moments they heard creaking and cracking beside them. They turned just in time to see the barn collapse.
“Aw poop,” groaned Apple Bloom.
Luna and Celestia continued to battle up on the mountain. Then, they wrestled down it. Tumbling and bouncing as they went, knocking rocks and boulders loose, sending rockslides raging down to the city below. The two alicorns crashed into the city in the midst of the torrent of rocks. The destruction they caused was nothing compared to the rockslides and boulders, which buried an entire neighborhood.
The landing had separated them and it took a few minutes to find each other in the thick clouds of dust. When they did, they began hurling rocks and bricks at each other. Because of their strength, if a projectile missed its target it hit another building behind them, doing even more damage. Eventually they moved to a more spacious venue: one of the turrets of the castle.
Around and around they flew, zapping and blasting as they could. Just as the rocks before, errant blasts struck at random in Canterlot if they missed their target. Restaurants, boutiques, and jewelries were just some of the buildings decimated by the princesses’ inaccuracy.
Luna charged an extra strong laser and sent it hurtling at Celestia. The white alicorn put a shield but was still pushed back until she hit a turret. Luna followed up with an even bigger laser, making a direct hit. And then some. Sure, the laser hit Celestia but not only did it punch her through the turret, it also blasted a huge hole in the structure. Celestia charged back through the hole but was punched hard from above and sent crashing to the ground far below. Luna smiled smugly as she moved out of the way as the tower tipped over and collapsed. Right onto Celestia.
Cheerilee and Tree Hugger sat at the opposite end of the car, glaring at and eyeing Rarity and Granny. They had fought briefly in Ponyville but the pair on Celestia’s team decided to get back to Canterlot. Fortunately for them, a train was leaving at that exact moment. Granny and Rarity had followed them on the train and they had a standoff in the car and were all set to fight. However, the conductor came back and yelled at them for disrupting the other passengers so they decided just to sit as far away from each other as they could whilst still being able to keep an eye on the other team. The ride was ominously quiet and incredibly uncomfortable for the other passengers.
Luna wandered around the rubble looking for her sister. Either she was buried or already gone. Unfortunately, Luna knew she had to make absolutely sure Celestia was in the rubble before moving on. She lifted some larger pieces, careful to avoid surprises. After about ten minutes of searching she decided that Celestia had indeed already vacated the area. She did as well.
The second the four mares stepped off the train in Canterlot they began fighting. The train station was ultimately damaged beyond repair. They moved beyond the station, leaving a trail of destruction and injury behind them. From the less reputable Crimson Corners neighborhood to the ultra-posh Prancer Heights, the richest neighborhood in the city, nothing was safe. Rich, poor, earth, unicorn, pegasus, etc. Nopony received any special treatment from the embattled quartet. It was as if they weren’t even aware of their surroundings. They just fought.
A short while after they fought their way through Mustang Avenue – a neighborhood they had visited on their way out of the city – they were joined by Luna. Her presence certainly tipped the scales. Instead the relatively even-matched two-on-two match up, Tree Hugger and Cheerilee found themselves in retreat, dodging and defending far more than attacking.
Eventually, Luna’s team had Cheerilee and Tree Hugger cornered in a toy store. After easily fighting off a barrage of pony plushies and toy trains, Luna and company now had their opponents trapped in the action figure aisle. Luna approached from one end, Granny and Rarity from the other.
“If you got any more ideas, Hugs, now would be the time,” anxiously said Cheerilee.
“Sorry, dude. I’m out. I thought throwing a few Luna plushies at Luna would distract her but alas, she seems to be at peace with the little cuddly and huggable versions of herself.”
“Of course I am!” bellowed Luna, overhearing the chatter. “I find them an accurate representation of my natural state. Why would I not be at peace with them? Do you think I’m not cuddly?! Hmm, harlot?! Do you not find me huggable?!” she screeched, stomping toward Tree Hugger.
“No pony does,” came a voice from behind Luna. She turned to see Celestia standing at the end of the aisle. She was looking rather ragged but still sported a smug face. Next to her she held a Princess Celestia plushie. “This one more accurately depicts the real thing, don’t you think?” She tauntingly nuzzled the plushie. “She’s…perfect.” She smiled wickedly at Luna.
“N-nay! Nay! Mine is better!”
“Is it? And yet” – she brought up a Luna plushie next to her – “how easily…she snaps under pressure.” She ripped the head off with her magic. “Oops. Pop goes the loser!”
“How dare you! That cost twenty bits!”
“Nine, Luna. It was in the discount bin,” Celestia stated far too haughtily.
Luna screamed in rage and charged her sister. In a second she collided with Celestia and the two busted through displays and aisles until at last they broke through the store wall and tumbled into the street.
“Gnarly, dude,” Tree Hugger intoned in awe.
“Yes…” Cheerilee slowly agreed. Just before Luna struck she swore she saw Celestia look past and give a wink. She put away the thought and turned her attention to Granny and Rarity.
She turned just in time to see Rarity shoot past her, flying out the store with a blue aura around her. “C’mon!” shouted Cheerilee, running outside. She saw Rarity catching up with Luna. “Get me up there!” she demanded of Tree Hugger, who sauntered up next to her.
“Right on, sister,” the hippie breathed. She picked up Cheerilee with her dreadlocks and whipped her around a few times and let go, flinging the teacher into the air at breakneck speed. Just as she let go she was pummeled by Granny.
The geriatric assailant landed blow after blow, never relenting. The hippie tried to block with her dreads but was only minimally successful. Ultimately, she’d run out of energy, unable to fight back and barely able to defend. Although her face looked no different now than in her natural state, Tree Hugger was spent. Granny, having had enough of the lethargic pony, rushed behind her, wrapped her hooves around her midsection, and suplexed her.
That finished Tree Hugger’s part in the battle. Granny stood up and saw the hippie’s unconscious form with a white orb above her and a force field wrapping around her.
“Dang young’un,” Granny huffed. “So dang frustratin’!” She hobbled away, breathing heavily and grumbling as she went. She walked in the direction her teammates had gone.
Luna was hot on the tail of Celestia, who’s taken off in the direction of the castle. She knew she needed help. Celestia didn’t have much energy left but was just cunning enough to use what she had to win. She also knew that Celestia knew the castle grounds better than anypony so she had to get her before then. She pulled Rarity from the store and brought her to her side.
“We’re taking her down! Now!” cried Luna.
“Yes, mistress,” agreed the unicorn. “Wait…” She had turned around and caught sight of Cheerilee flying through the air like a dart. “Luna, look!”
Luna turned to see the teacher. “Very well,” she grumbled. “Rarity!” she called, “Trendsetter!”
“Right, m’lady!”
Rarity was slowed some, putting distance between her and Luna. Then Luna stopped on a dime and Rarity was thrown forward at alarming speed. Upon reaching Luna she stuck her hoof out and grabbed the alicorn’s horn, sling-shotting herself around back at her pursuer. Rarity balled herself up and rolled through the air like a dazzling armadillo. She struck Cheerilee with such a force it knocked the teacher clear across the city.
Even as Luna pursued Celestia she brought Rarity back to her. They chased her back to the castle. They zipped around turrets, under archways and even through the great hall. Laser blasts were exchanged frequently, none making a direct hit until finally, Luna and Rarity zapped Celestia simultaneously, sending her plummeting to the square below. Luna and Rarity landed, only to be confronted by a battered but resilient Celestia.
“Is that all you’ve got?” sneered the white alicorn. Her armor was scuffed and dented and her mane seemed to fray in its ethereal breeze. Despite her confident tone it was easy to see that she was struggling to keep the façade.
“Don’t worry, Rarity, I can handle her,” Luna stated. “Go find the cerise one. Make sure she’s down. I’ll join you as soon as I can.”
“Yes, mistress!” Rarity saluted and ran off in the direction Cheerilee had flown.
Luna grinned wickedly at Celestia. “Now, how best to put you down.”
“Don’t bother, Luna!” laughed Celestia. “You know you can’t beat me. I’ve always been stronger than you. I always will be. Besides, I am the Light and the light always snuffs out the darkness.”
“Well, Ms. Light,” Luna sneered, “prepare to be torn asunder! For if you are the light, then I am a prism. I will break you!”
The two charged each other with a ferocity that had yet to be seen. The cobblestones of the street flew up in the wake of their approach. The shock wave from their collision shattered windows and cracked walls. Luna was surprised by the amount of energy Celestia was using, even though she had to be nearly at her limit. Each punch, each kick, each bite reminded Luna that while her sister wore well the façade of a prim and proper princess, she could be as ruthless and vicious as a rabid changeling in a room full of mirrors. Still, she knew Celestia was measuring each blow, careful not to overextend herself. That all went out the window, however, when Granny hobbled up and joined the fray.
Celestia was on the defensive. She could take on one of them but Granny and Luna together were too much for the energy she had left. After a slow but steady retreat she knew she had to do something soon. She tried to look for an opening to make her move but Granny and Luna seemed to be in sync – when one relented the other aggressed. Despite the savage pummeling she still took a moment to reflect on the numerous fights she’d engaged in before. Of all the beatings she’d taken, this was one of the – if not the – worst. She knew Luna would be tough but the old mare’s tenacious ferocity was a surprise. Eventually, she accepted that she didn’t have much hope of making it out of the situation.
She kicked Granny under the chin and sent her backwards and blasted Luna in the face. With the space and time she needed, she charged up her horn and fired a ball of energy at Granny. It exploded on impact, tossing Granny like a ragdoll. The old mare was already unconscious by the time she crashed into the ground. Celestia saw the blue orb appear above and force field materialize around Granny. She smiled weakly and nodded approvingly to herself.
She turned to Luna just in time to see her bounding at her, her horn charged brightly. Luna essentially headbutted her sister, releasing the charge from her horn just after doing so. The blast struck Celestia square in the face, sending her somersaulting backwards. She skidded across the cobblestone and then tumbled to a stop. Luna pounced and landed all four hooves directly on Celestia’s midsection. With an almighty oof the wind was knocked right out of the white alicorn.
Luna stepped off her sister and took a step back. Celestia rolled onto her stomach and tried to stand. It was difficult and she wobbled like a baby giraffe trying to stand for the first time. Eventually she stood and gingerly turned to Luna.
“You won’t be the last one standing,” Celestia wheezed.
“I will,” Luna replied smugly. “At least, I’ll stand longer than you.” There was nothing in the way of pity or remorse in her voice.
Celestia was frightened by the tone. She turned away and wobbled a bit more before collapsing. She tried to crawl away but could barely muster the strength to do so. Luna hobbled over to her sister and glared down at her. A small smile crept across her face. An idea had wormed its way into her head. She crouched down and propped Celestia’s head on her shoulder. She positioned herself and the barely conscious alicorn just right and then produced a camera. Several pictures later she unceremoniously dropped Celestia back to the ground. “Also, don’t think I didn’t figure out that the tome was in our old castle. Send me on a wild goose chase, will you? Pah!”
Having suffered through that final act of degradation, Celestia gave in. She rolled on her side and reluctantly drifted out of consciousness. Just like her teammates, a white orb appeared above her and force field encased her.
Luna, pleased with the victory and subsequent act, sent the camera back to her room, and ran off to find her remaining teammate.
She’d given Rarity the slip by doubling back, moving toward the royal sisters instead of away. She’d seen the unicorn pass by, completely unaware of her proximity. There was a chance to take her out but Cheerilee wanted to help Celestia take down Luna. Unfortunately, it was not to be.
She peered around the corner and saw Luna take off. After a careful survey of the scene she skittered across the open area to Celestia. “Oh, princess,” she muttered sadly, “I’m sorry.” Despite being covered in dirt and various flesh wounds and her armor being pulverized, Celestia looked relatively peaceful in her unconsciousness. There was an anger building inside Cheerilee as she examined her princess. There was a resolve.
“We’re not done yet, Celestia,” Cheerilee stated. “I’m not done yet.” With that, she quickly moved out of sight.
She knew the time for smash-n-go tactics had passed. It was two on one and stealth and cleverness were her allies now. She slipped into a coffee shop to bide some time. She set up a little one-mare command center in a store room. Before getting comfortable she snatched a few scones and a cup of coffee – two sugars, a splash of cream – to help her concentrate.
She muttered to herself while she planned. “Luna and Rarity left. Can’t take both at the same time. Which one first? Luna requires more energy; Rarity should be quick but if I mess up Luna will be there too quickly for me to escape. Though, she may not have enough energy left to teleport.” She sat in silence as she weighed her options. Distant crackling of raging fires and panicked screams of the citizens of Canterlot did not seem to distract her. She munched on a scone. “Hmm…”
Her options were severely limited. Victory was dependent solely on her allocation of her remaining energy. And while the scones and coffee did recharge her a bit they wouldn’t be enough to weather a sustained assault from both Luna and Rarity. One at a time for sure, but which one first? This was a dilemma for the teacher and she couldn’t bring herself to feel comfortable with either one. Then she had a thought: why not both at once? Not attack both at the same time but use one attack that could take out both at different times. Or something like that. Her mind ran with this idea, mulling over scenarios and attacks that could accomplish such a feat.
After an hour of thought she couldn’t come with anything that gave her a definite victory. She paced around a bit and sat down behind the counter, just in a shadow. She kept thinking. In the end, the best way may just be to confront them head on. Preferably Rarity first but if Luna shows up then so be it. If they wanted a victory, she’ll make them work for it. It just so happened she may not have to work as hard as she thought.
The door to the coffee shop opened and lo and behold, Rarity walked in. From her place behind the pastry display she could see the unicorn look around, carefully searching. Save for her eyes tracking Rarity, Cheerilee had frozen in place. She watched as her opponent peered under tables and nooks and crannies. Eventually, she stopped in front of the display case. And she looked right at Cheerilee. The teacher tensed up, ready to either defend or attack at a moment’s notice. Rarity walked up to the display and squinted in, staring directly at Cheerilee. The only thing hiding the teacher now was the shadow in which she sat. Rarity’s horn lit up. Cheerilee readied herself.
The door to the display case opened and an apple fritter floated out and over, right to Rarity. She elegantly sniffed the pastry and then nibbled a bit. She made a happy sound of approval and then took a bite, chewing gracefully. She turned to leave, taking another bite.
For a moment Cheerilee sat in stunned silence. No way that just happened. She shook off the luck and absurdity and decided to act. She had Rarity off guard and in an enclosed space. No time like the present.
Rarity was enjoying another bite of the fritter when she soon found herself surrounded by other pastries. The buck from Cheerilee sent the entire pastry display case crashing into Rarity, scooping up the unicorn as it slid across the floor, crashing through tables and chairs. “Ohhh, marmalade!” the unicorn groaned in a southern accent as she climbed out of the case after it finally stopped. She quickly put a hoof to her mouth, embarrassed such a country-ism escaped her lips.
Before she had a chance to fully comprehend the situation she was knocked on her back and being repeatedly beaten with an espresso machine. After that implement finally broke apart she pushed off her assailant. Unfortunately, Cheerilee came right back and began trying to stuff scones and muffins down her throat. Rarity, not being one to be forced to eat anything she did not particularly care for, rejected the pastries, spitting them back in Cheerilee’s face. The teacher barely flinched.
“Nice try, Rarity,” she jeered, “but you seem to forget that I’m a teacher. This isn’t the first time I’ve had food spit in my face.”
“I don’t doubt that,” sneered Rarity. “Sweetie Belle has told of many a time she has wished to do just that.”
“What?” Cheerilee whispered, clearly hurt by the revelation. “But, she’s my favorite.”
“Oh.” Rarity regretted saying such a thing and relaxed a bit. “I didn’t mean that she…wait!” She head-butted Cheerilee off of her just as the teacher was taking a swing. “Use my own tactic against me. Clever little thing, aren’t you?”
“Ow! And yes, I am,” Cheerilee retorted, rubbing her head. “Surprised you managed to figure out what I was doing.”
“Surprised?! I don’t much care for what you’re implying.”
“Well, that’s not my problem, now is it?”
Rarity pounced on Cheerilee, punching and kicking. Cheerilee fought back just as hard. The two wrestled and fought all over the coffee shop, making an absolute mess of the place. After a few minutes of solid fighting it was decided that the confines of the shop could no longer hold the two mares. Cheerilee kicked Rarity out of the large bay window at the front of the store. Rarity’s armor clinked and clanged as she tumbled across the cobblestones, a sound barely heard against the tinkling glass.
Even before Rarity stopped rolling, Cheerilee hopped out of the broken window and was charging at the unicorn. Fortunately for Rarity, she still had her reflexes and she hopped over Cheerilee, unwilling to take another direct hit from an earth pony.
Cheerilee skidded to a stop and turned around. The two mares glared at each other. Neither could really think of a snide remark or clever quip at the moment so they just attacked. Cheerilee spun quickly and hurled dozens of chalk sticks through the air like darts. Rarity made a similar motion and threw sewing needles. Some of their ammunition collided in mid-flight and most found its mark. The armor protected them from most of impacts but enough found flesh to warrant a reaction.
“AHH! Friggen’ frak!” howled Cheerilee, wincing at the sight of at least ten sewing needles sticking into her exposed parts.
“OWIE!” cried Rarity, reeling from the sting of a dozen welts forming. She also wasn’t too pleased with the chalk residue left behind. “Ew,” she muttered, brushing the dust off.
“Oh, sorry, Rarity. Looks like you’re a bit dusty. Let me help.” Cheerilee chucked eraser after eraser at the unicorn. Though not every one hit its mark they all produced a cloud of chalk dust. Rarity was momentarily incapacitated by the cloud and Cheerilee took the opportunity to clear herself of needles. It was slow and agonizing at times but she eventually got all of them. She turned her attention to the cloud of chalk dust just in time to see a cobblestone fly directly at her. She ducked the first but wasn’t fast enough to duck the second one. Or the third. Or fourth.
Each cobblestone pushed her back. She retaliated with cobblestones of her own, aiming at the center of the dust cloud. She heard a few connect and then saw Rarity jump out of the cloud. Once again, the two mares glared at each other, standing ten yards apart. Without any further provocation they began throwing more cobblestones at each other. Rarity used her magic to pry them up and throw while Cheerilee just used her hooves. When her front legs got tired she changed tactics, tossing a few at a time in the air and then bucking them when they came down.
The blocks sailed through the air, some crashing into each other, some missing their mark, others making direct hits. Cheerilee was getting tired and she knew she couldn’t keep this up for much longer. Unfortunately, Rarity had seen her exhaustion and had taken initiative. She’d lifted a dozen or so cobblestones and charged, throwing them as she ran. Cheerilee dodged what she could but soon Rarity was too close and she had to brace herself. A few cobblestones hit but what surprised her was the forced with which Rarity struck.
Cheerilee tumbled across the square and Rarity was on her in an instant. A punch here, a kick there, an insult everywhere. Rarity brought her entire arsenal. Each hit forced Cheerilee back. She stood just in time to receive a roundhouse kick from the unicorn. Then another. And another. A fourth. A fifth. And one more for good measure.
The final kick knocked Cheerilee’s helmet off. She could feel that almost all her energy had been drained and she had no more shielding. She prepared to make her final stand. Her wobble was steadied and she forced herself to stop shaking. She glared at Rarity and a small, villainous smile crept across her face. “You know, Rarity, I’ve always thought your outfits were silly,” she chided.
“Silly?!” The unicorn fired off a few noises of indignation. “Hmph! An uneducated pony such as yourself would think that.”
“Uneducated? Ha! Rarity, you wouldn’t know the transmutation of an isotope if one decayed on your face.”
Rarity positively fumed at the apparent insult. “How dare you!” She launched at Cheerilee, who parried well. The two mares exchanged hits and blocks for an intense thirty seconds before pushing away from each other. The mid-morning sun shone brightly down in them.
“What’s your plan here, Cheery?” asked Rarity condescendingly. “Get rid of me and then Luna? You certainly possess a lofty sense of your abilities. And your chances. You have nothing left. You’re weaker. Or should I say weaker than usual? Even if you were to get rid of me, in the time it takes for you to do so Luna will be here and put an end to your little one-mare army vignette. She’s probably already on her way.”
“That’s a chance I’m willing to take. You’re weak, as well. Always have been, always will be.”
Rarity scrunched her face in annoyance. “You know, Cheery, darling, it’s become quite apparent that you’re trying to prove something out here. It’s not that you’re trying to prove you’re a capable teacher or a formidable pony. Not even that you can claim victory for your team. No. No, I think you’re still trying to prove you’re a mare worthy of a companion. In particular a stallion. Though, to be honest, you’re not really fooling anypony, are you? You couldn’t even win over a simple farmer like Big MacIntosh. You lost him to some no-name Mary Sue from the middle of nowhere. Rather embarrassing, darling. Pathetic, really. Might as well just give up on romance and accept your place as a barren old spinster. Every town has one, darling, and you’d be the perfect fit.”
The teacher blinked a few times. “I see.” Her face grew stoic. Her voice, however, took on the ominous tone of a teacher cheerfully imparting a lesson on her students. “Class,” she said, “today we have so very much to get through but first let’s learn the word of the day. This word is very important because it will be the basis for everything that follows.” She paused and lowered her head, a non-existent breeze fluttering through her mane. She glared deadly at Rarity. “Today’s word is…” – her irises began to glow – “…Triggered.”
A wind blew around her, throwing her mane and tail every which direction. Her eyes quickly became pools of glowing green light and the flowers of her cutie mark pulsed with light. They seemed to jump off her flank and began to rotate rapidly. The flower petals became pointed and each flower now looked like a circular saw. They grew to at least a foot in diameter. With the roar of a romantically frustrated mare, Cheerilee reared up and then stomped her front hooves on the ground with such a force that she sent a shock wave in the ground screaming toward Rarity. The unicorn raised what little shield she could muster and blocked most of the debris. Her shield flickered and failed. Through the dust she saw slivers of light – six of them – hurtling at her. They moved so fast she had no time react.
In a flash of light that even Rarity would have found garish, the unicorn was blasted from her position and landed some thirty yards away. She didn’t move. A blue orb appeared above her and she was wrapped in a force field.
Cheerilee walked over to the unconscious unicorn and looked down on her judgmentally. “I may be unlucky in romance, Rarity, but at least I aim for substance, not superficial infatuation.” She began to walk away but turned back for one last look. “Floozie,” she scoffed and pawed some dirt back at Rarity, like a cat in a litter box. She huffed derisively and walked away with a determination that radiated. The glow in her eyes diminished but the irises still pulsed with light.
Despite her victory, Cheerilee desperately wanted to collapse. To quit. To sleep. She knew, however, there was one last thing to be done. Her eyes raked the smoldering scene. In any other circumstance she would have been heartbroken to see such destruction but in this instance she only thought of the task at hoof. She had a job to finish. A game to win. She trotted off but then stopped when she heard something behind her. Turning her head, she saw Luna walk up next to Rarity, gently prodding her downed teammate with her hoof.
Cheerilee turned to face Luna and called out. “See that? That’s what happens when you cross me. You got anything to say, princess?” she seethed, her voice echoing within itself and the glow in her eyes reigniting. Her body shook with adrenaline.
Luna studied Rarity momentarily then eyed Cheerilee. “No. I’m not entirely positive on which comment set you off – the projection of you as a barren spinster or your failed wooing of the Apple stallion – but I see Rarity was mistaken to bring them up. I have witnessed the consequences of doing so. No such words shall come from me.” Luna bowed respectfully.
“Here I thought pleasantries were not applicable in battle,” Cheerilee sneered.
“They aren’t. Just admiring and respecting the power of your resentment, one combatant to another.”
“I see. You and me, then, is it?”
“It would seem. It has been a spectacular affair, has it not? I do not recall many times I have witnessed such ferocity in a battle. We have all fought admirably.”
“Admiration is subjective,” Cheerilee responded flatly.
“Quite.” Luna could tell that the mare before her had no intention of holding a conversation. She cleared her throat in annoyance. “The better mare will be the one to walk out of here.”
“And yet you remain standing. As Celestia as my witness you shall stand no more.”
Luna chuckled wickedly. “My sister is currently witnessing nothing.”
“Nor shall you in a moment.”
“I applaud your determination. And your defiance.”
“It’s not defiance. It’s fact. You’re weak. I have the upper hoof.”
“What’s makes you think I am weak?” Luna snarled, insulted by the accusation.
“You’re almost out of energy. You walked here. You didn’t have enough energy to teleport.”
Luna conceded with a nod. “Observant. You have given me reason to reevaluate my approach to you,” Luna continued. “It seems as though even the most plain among us are the fullest of surprises.”
Cheerilee arched an eyebrow. “Most plain.”
“Indeed. You were plain before you were chosen for this competition. And you’ll be plain after.”
“It’s plainest, you dunce,” Cheerilee scolded.
“I…uh…well…” Luna tapped her chin in thought.
Cheerilee took a few measured breaths and mildly kicked at some rubble at her hooves. “Well anyway, Luna, I do believe this is where we part ways. More specifically, where you depart.”
“Oh? And how do you figure that?”
“Clearly you weren’t paying close enough attention. Only three of my discs hit Rarity. Enjoy your unconsciousness.” She curtly nodded to something behind Luna.
The princess turned just in time to see three discs of light hurtling through the air with unforgiving impatience. “WHAT?!” The discs were upon her before she could conjure a shield strong enough to repel them. In a spectacular light show and an eruption of dust and debris the discs struck Luna with force enough to send her soaring over Cheerilee’s head and crashing into a fountain.
Water spilled from the gaping hole in fountain and the nozzles that once spouted the water in synchronized beauty now sprayed and sputtered erratically in every direction. Luna, barely conscious, tried to crawl out of the rubble. Cheerilee slowly walked over to the princess.
She lifted Luna’s head slightly and looked her in the eyes. “Be gone, wench.” The words slipped out quietly and slowly. She surprised herself with how much malice she put into those words but she couldn’t take them back. With the little energy she had left she produced a yard stick and promptly struck the princess across the face. Luna went limp, and a blue orb appeared above her and she was wrapped in a force field.
Cheerilee dropped the ruler and stepped back from the unconscious alicorn. She took a few deep breaths and began to feel the pain in her body. The adrenaline was wearing off. The glow left her eyes and they were again just green. She felt her legs begin to shake and she forced her muscles to steady. She backed away.
Turning to walk away, she felt the pain start to replace the adrenaline. Her walk became a limp, each step an exercise in pain and endurance. She stopped. What was supposed to happen now? She took a few more wobbly steps before stopping again to compose herself.
Cheerilee stood proud and the rubble around her only bolstered that pride. She fought hard. She went hoof to hoof with the rulers of Equestria. She’s been attacked, beaten, blasted, and verbally assaulted. She survived. She won. She was whacked on the head with something and she collapsed on the ground. Before she lost all consciousness she turned her head up and saw Cup Cake standing over her, holding a rolling pin.
“You are a good pony, Cheerilee. When my children are old enough there is nopony I would rather educate them than you.” She looked around absently. “That being said, I am a little disappointed in your lack of awareness just now, y’know? You, of all ponies, should know that just when you think you’ve won, there’s always somepony waiting right behind you to ruin your day. As a teacher, you should know that.” Cheerilee closed her eyes and went limp. A white orb appeared above her and she was wrapped in a shimmering force field.
Mrs. Cake sat down next to Cheerilee’s unconscious body and used the rolling pin to prop herself up. She breathed steadily and looked around. So much destruction. Impact craters, burning vegetation, distant cries for aid, entire buildings collapsed. It was impressive, to say the least. She stared at the sky and just lost herself in thought. She took a moment to enjoy the sereneness of the immediate silence.
A sparkling streak of light shot upwards from the castle grounds and a gigantic blue firework exploded over Canterlot, illuminating the city in a blue sheen. Blue sparkles rained down, landing softly like snow. A large glowing blue orb also took up position about 100 feet directly above Cup Cake and lit the area in its soft glow.
“Oof. Jeez,” groaned Cheerilee, sitting up and rubbing her head. The orb above her disappeared as did the force field around her. “What was that?”
“Oh my!” jumped Cup Cake. “Deary, are you okay?” She dropped the rolling pin and hugged Cheerilee and gently patted her head. “I’m sorry.”
“Holy quadratic equation,” Cheerilee whispered. “That was some hit. Glad it was you.”
Cup Cake didn’t know how to respond so she just continued to hug the teacher.
“Wow!” chimed Cheerilee, hugging back, “that’s a lot of destruction. Impressive, in a macabre sort of way.”
“We really got ourselves into something big, didn’t we?” agreed Cup Cake.
“Goodness,” muttered a voice from the rubble nearby. Rarity wobbled to her hooves and shook off dust and rubble. “My my, what a mess.” She spotted Cheerilee and Cup Cake hugging each other. “Oh! I take it the contest has concluded,” she inquired as she approached them.
“Yep.”
“And the victor?”
“Us,” replied Cup Cake, pointing to the blue orb above them.
“Ooooooo!” Rarity giggled. “Lovely!” She pranced in place. “Oh, sorry, darling,” she said, looking at Cheerilee. “I don’t mean to gloat.”
“It’s fine. You’re not gloating. Just celebrating.”
“WOOOOO! In your face, dear sister!” cheered Luna, landing next to the trio and prancing arrogantly in place. Celestia had found her way over to them as well, looking mightily disheveled and wholly unamused at her sister. Luna continued her celebration, prancing and dancing around Celestia, occasionally poking and prodding her.
“That’s gloating,” said Cheerilee to Rarity.
“Congratulations, sister,” Celestia grumbled, fighting back her annoyance.
“I can’t believe I won! I finally won something! I finally beat Celestia!” Luna was beside herself with mirth and incredulity. While Luna continued her exuberance in the background, Celestia sat next to and spoke to the three other mares currently present. “It was an impressive contest. How are you all doing?”
“Alive,” Cheerilee said quickly. “Remarkably alive. And I feel alive.”
“Yes, I agree,” said Rarity. “Despite the violence of this event and the close proximity to death, I am feeling rather rejuvenated. Somehow.”
“Well, shoot, ya know I feel the same,” nodded Cup Cake. “I thought this was a bad idea at the start but now I feel like I should be thanking the two of you.” She reached out and took Celestia’s hoof, gently patting it. “Think I’ll bake you a special ‘thank you’ cake.”
“I’d like that,” the princess said softly. “And I appreciate your words,” she addressed Rarity and Cheerilee. “I feel…close to you. All of you. Especially you,” she said, grabbing Cheerilee and hugging her deeply. “It’s so good to have bondmates!” She hugged tighter and Cheerilee swore she heard some of her bones cracking.
Rarity and Cup Cake shared an embrace while Luna still celebrated on her own. “I wonder where the others are,” pondered Rarity, after they separated.
“I do hope they’re okay,” worried Cup Cake.
Granny creaked along through the courtyard until she noticed some movement a few yards in front of her. As she hobbled closer she saw Fleur crawling out of a crater.
“Let me help ya, missy,” Granny said, offering a hoof.
“Thanks.” She removed her helmet and rubbed her head. “Ugh, remind me to thank Celestia for a lovely weekend.”
Granny chuckled. “Ain’t ordinary, that’s for sure.”
The two shared an awkward moment of silence before Fleur finally spoke. “How…how are you, Granny?”
“Feelin’ ain’t too bad, actually.” She did a little hop and gave a few practice jabs. “Mighty spry for bein’ on the ass end of an ass whoopin’. Howya holding up?”
Fleur stifled her shock and amusement at Granny’s language. “Okay, I suppose,” she giggled. “I’ve never experienced anything like that. Just wish I could have done more.”
“Bah! Ya did fine! Don’t beat yerself up about it. Now c’mon, let’s find the others.”
They headed in the direction of the giant blue orb, idly chatting with each other. By the time they reached the group they were telling stories and laughing.
“Ah, there we go,” announced Celestia, as the two mares were greeted by the group. “All smiles.”
The seven mares chatted amongst themselves until Cheerilee spoke up. “Where’s Hugs?”
“Who?” asked Cup Cake.
“Oh, I mean Tree Hugger. Has anypony seen her? Last I saw her was in the toy store.”
“That’s the last time I saw her as well,” mentioned Rarity. Luna and Celestia agreed. Granny grumbled to herself. There was talk of sending a search party for her when a shuffling of armor nearby caught their attention.
“Heeeeey, my dudes,” greeted Tree Hugger, sauntering up to the group. She was greeted with cheers and congratulations. “Super thanks, sisters,” she bowed.
“Whatcha got there?” asked Granny, looking at the thing the hippie was holding.
“It spoke to me,” she replied, holding up the pony plushie. “I think she’s famous,” she absently said, “but I just like orange.” She nuzzled the plushie Wonderbolt. “Orange feels good on the soul.” Granny bristled at the sight and the concept of colors feeling good on one’s soul but the others seemed to agree or just shrug it off.
Now that all eight mares were assembled again there was a kind of calm that settled over them. All contestants were accounted for, none sustaining serious injuries – save for pride – and all in seemingly good moods. After a few minutes of pleasantries and admiring battle scars, Celestia cleared her throat and spoke up.
“Now that was are all gathered, I think we can officially bring this competition to a close.”
“Eeeeeee!” Luna squealed, lightly bouncing in place.
“Well, sister, I do believe you have won this round,” Celestia conceded. It was obvious she had a tough time saying it.
“Indeed,” stated Luna, desperately trying to hold back the gloating in her voice. “Though, as much as I would love to take credit for this victory, I must give credit where credit is due. I would not have this victory if it were not for my team. My dear ladies, even if we were not bound in perpetuity I would nevertheless eternally owe you my allegiance. Thank you.” She bowed to her teammates. Granny, Rarity, and Cup Cake bowed in return and the four shared a group hug.
“Well, I believe it is time to dole out the awards,” said Celestia.
“Ooo, goody goody goody!” chimed Luna.
Celestia materialized eight trophies – four golden statues of a mare sitting on a throne and wearing a large crown, and four smaller silver statues of a mare in armor in mid-gallop. “Now, for the runners-up” – she distributed the silver trophies to Cheerilee, Tree Hugger and Fleur – “I present these trophies. I know it’s not a victory but I do hope you display these proudly. You’ve nothing to be ashamed of. I’m so proud of all of you.” The team shared a group hug.
“And for the victors” – she distributed the golden trophies – “congratulations. You certainly deserve the win. May this trophy forever remind you of your achievement.” She gave a slight bow even as she used her magic to play a little keep away from Luna with the trophy. After finally catching the trophy, Luna scooped up her team and hugged them tightly. She didn’t hide the tear rolling down her cheek.
“Well, I’m sure we all have a lot to talk about, hmm?” said Celestia. “Stories to tell.”
“Indeed,” agreed Rarity, “but may we clean up first?”
“Yeah,” said Cheerilee. “I could go for a bath. But first, I have to ask: Cup Cake, how is it you managed to survive that fall? I could have sworn that would have knocked you out?”
“Agreed,” agreed Luna. “I too possess the same question.” There was a general agreement among the other mares.
“Oh my, well, I thought I was a gonner, as well, dontcha know. But, I fell into a restaurant of all places. Lovely little place, lots of pillows, wonderful atmosphere. Anywho, it just so happened that I fell onto the cook, who is a rather rotund fella, if you know what I mean. Makes me look like Fleur here. Just bounced right off of him and tumbled out into the dining room. Hit a table, knocked me right out, y’know. Woke up some time later, ran back into the kitchen and grabbed a rolling pin, ‘cause ya never know when you’re going to need one. Oh! Need one. Knead. Ha!” She giggle-snorted. “Oh dear, made myself laugh. Anyway, the poor stallion I landed on didn’t fare so well. His daughter was none too pleased either. I offered some coupons to Sugarcube Corner to make amends, though I think he was too busy trying to remain conscious to notice and she seemed rather upset. Poor dear. Anywho, I ran back outside and tried to find you all. Bit late, but better late than never, I suppose. So that’s it!” She smiled brightly and shrugged.
“Sounds just about right,” Celestia smirked, nodding approvingly.
“Well done!” congratulated Luna.
“Very impressive,” added Cheerilee.
“A remarkable feat, darling,” agreed Rarity.
“Thank you for implying I’m thin,” chimed Fleur.
“Far out, dude,” muttered Tree Hugger.
“’Least ya ain’t lollygaggin’,” admitted Granny.
“We really were something else out there, weren’t we?” Rarity chuckled. “Well, how about Cheerilee with her Power Pony powers?”
“Yes, it seems deeply seeded resentment and regret are powerful fuel for you,” Luna mused.
“It surprised me as well,” admitted Cheerilee. “I didn’t realize I had that in me. Or that I hurt that much, apparently.” She sheepishly kicked a piece of rubble.
“Don’t worry about it,” soothed Celestia, patting the teacher. “It’ll hurt for a while but there will be brighter days. I guarantee it.”
“Thanks.”
“Shoot, girl,” piped up Granny, “I know better than to get between love but just between you and me, I ain’t convinced my grandson made the right choice. I like you better.” She gave Cheerilee a healthy punch to the shoulder and the mares erupted with laughter.
Rarity spoke up. “Darling, I do apologize for my remarks to you about…well, your relationship status. I was out of line. Just caught up in the moment, I’m afraid. I honestly do hope you find a special somepony someday. Can you forgive me?”
“I understand, Rarity. And yes, I do forgive you. I was equally wrong about your work. Honestly, I don’t think there’s a pony in this world that knows fashion better than you.”
“All sins forgiven, darling,” Rarity said with a happy tear in her eye. She gathered up Cheerilee for an elegant hug and nuzzle.
“Oh, hooray,” sang Celestia. “Healing!”
Taking the cue, Granny spoke to the hippie. “I’m guessin’ if y’all can find some way to be of some use to somepony else then ya can’t be that bad. Ain’t my kind, but ain’t bad.” She extended a hoof, which Tree Hugger took lazily.
“Righteous, dude. I’m diggin’ the vibes right now.”
“Y’all just standing there, how can ya be diggin’?” Granny asked, clearly confused. The other mares did their best to hide their snickers and laughs except Luna, who didn’t grasp the slang either.
“One more quick item, ladies. And I hope it goes without saying but please do refrain from divulging the information about the bond and iterations of the world and whatnot,” she said, circling her hoof nonchalantly. “Best not disrupt the public too much.”
There was a general agreement among the mares.
“Sorry, darling,” chimed Rarity, “but what do we say when asked about our involvement in this? Surely ponies will ask.”
“Say you were chosen at random.”
“Yes,” agreed Luna, “the bond is seemingly random so it won’t be a complete lie.”
Another chorus of agreement rose from the group.
“Speaking of which, I have something for you all.” She levitated six small gold and silver pins in the shape of a shield. The crescent moon was in relief on the right side, the sun on the left. “Keep these with you at all times. They will do wonders for you, including granting you access to the castle grounds at all times. Even granting an audience with us.” The mares took the pins and expressed their gratitude.
“Now, what say we all get cleaned up and have ourselves a nice big meal,” offered Celestia. “It’s on me.” They all laughed.
The walk back to the castle was slow. Fleur leaned on Granny as they went and Tree Hugger hitched a ride on Celestia. The discussion, while mostly about the battle, was lighthearted and calm and quiet, save for a few outbursts of laughter polite disagreement about who got the better of who.
After the meal the mares would be treated to the royal spa, where they enjoyed the finest baths, saunas, and massages that Equestria had to offer. Any lingering hard feelings seemed to melt away with every gentle kneading of their muscles, every inhale of incense, and every bubble of the hot tubs. When finally they were ready to leave the spa, they blissfully made their way to their beds, all of them falling quickly into a deep and peaceful sleep.
*
Twilight Sparkle twitched. Her eye twitched. Her ear twitched. Her other eye twitched. Her tail twitched. Her whole body twitched. She rocked back and forth in the fetal position. A panicked smile came and went. “All is fine. All is fine. All is fine.” She continually repeated these words. “Don’t intervene, Twilight. HA! Don’t!”
The recent events had damaged Twilight. Severely. Firstly, there was a slow trickle of reports about some sort of battle raging in Canterlot. Twilight did nothing. Then there were frequent visits and scrolls by dignitaries and elites from Canterlot relaying panicked messages telling of mass destruction. Twilight did nothing. Then Applejack ran in, the poor mare in such a state she could barely speak, and told of a fight on the farm and her barn was in shambles. Twilight did nothing. Then a flood of calls for aid and action from hundreds if not thousands of ponies. Twilight did nothing.
ll of the not doing anything broke the little pony. It went against her very nature. It went against everything she’d be expected to do as a princess. There’s only so much a pony can not do before it begins to wear on their psyche. Twilight was way past that point. Even the lost tomes on the history of Equestria could not distract her enough.
Pop!
A scroll suddenly appeared in front of Twilight. She snapped out of her addled state and quickly read the note:
My dear Twilight,
The competition has ended. Please resume your normal schedule. All the best, Princess Celestia
Twilight twitched again. No explanation. No ‘thank you’. Nothing. Just “get on with your life”. She chuckled inwardly at first. Then it broke through in bursts, little spurts of unstable laughter. Soon, the purple alicorn was doubled over, hugging and petting herself, all the while entrenched in a fit of laughter best suited for an insane asylum.
It’d been just over a year since the Game of Canterlot, as it had become known. The city and surrounding countryside had long since been repaired and life returned to normal relatively quickly. Although there was some lingering animosity about the sisters using the city as an arena for their own amusement, there was also a consensus that they had done well to have the foresight to make sure the city could easily be repaired. There was also general approval that the Game of Canterlot resulted in no loss of life and surprisingly little in the way of serious injury. Overall, in the eyes of the public, it was a wash.
The Apples had rebuilt their barn. Again. This time they tried to make it battle proof – stronger supports and hefty reinforcements of the structure and walls. In Ponyville, Twilight never did fully recover. Although she mostly went back to her normal self she exhibited some lingering PTSD. For instance, whenever a scroll appeared directly to her she jumped and made Spike look it over first. Also, if she ever saw any of the mares involved in the competition in close proximity to each other she tensed up, expecting them to start their battle all over again.
For Celestia and Luna, however, it had proven to be a bonding moment. While initially Luna had trouble keeping her gloating to a minimum she eventually simmered and conversed with her sister objectively about the Game. They laughed frequently at some of the things they did and saw during the battle. They bonded over how much they enjoyed the thrill of the fight. They seemed to relish in the release of pent up violence and aggression. It had been going well. Had. Despite the cordiality between the sisters, tensions had slowly risen over the last year. While it was mostly sisterly banter and competition that kept their friendly adversity ever-present, it was a simple act by Luna that broke the peace. On a random idle Tuesday, on their shared refrigerator, she put up a picture she had taken during the Game of Canterlot. In it, she was battered and disheveled but wore a gleeful grin. Next to her, Celestia was in similar condition, though her head rested against Luna and she was unconscious.
It had taken a few days for Celestia to notice the picture but when she did she immediately began planning a response. She was not one to allow such unprovoked aggression from Luna go unmet. In retaliation, she put up next to Luna’s picture a page from a very old book. It was a lithograph and it depicted the moon – with the Nightmare Moon shadow on it. The caption underneath read: “The new moon, as it shall be for the next 1000 years.” Celestia was preparing breakfast when Luna noticed. The blue alicorn was beyond incensed.
“This is beyond reproach!” yelled Luna.
“Can’t take a joke?” Celestia calmly asked as she spread some jelly onto her toast.
“This is no joke! This is cruel! This is a childish retort! I expect better from you!”
“And your picture was somehow a sensible action?”
“Do not needle me with your preposterous inquiries, sister!”
“Preposterous? Or maybe you won’t respond because doing so would mean you have to admit fault!”
Luna did not respond immediately and Celestia took the moment to smugly finish preparing her toast. With her magic she lifted the bread to her mouth. However, Luna swat the toast from the air. It landed on the floor with an unceremonious thwap.
Celestia’s face went from haughty delight to severe incense in an instant. She may have played a cruel joke on her sister but Luna had deprived her of her toast.
“I see how it is,” Celestia murmured. “First you insult me and now you wish me to go hungry?”
“What?”
“You should know better,” Celestia scowled as she turned to leave the kitchen. Luna angrily and incredulously followed.
*
There was a significant crowd gathered for the cookware booth. The vendor boasted new revolutionary non-stick frying pans and quite frankly the denizens of Ponyville found it all very exciting. One pony, however, was not concentrating on the cookware. She was a pony who was given a little extra space in line by the other ponies. The residents of the town were cautious around her. Not because she actively intimidated them but because during the Game she had been the one to take down Princess Luna, who had taken down Princess Celestia. Other than that she was widely regarded in town as a kind and loving pony.
From her place in line, Cheerilee glared menacingly at Sugar Belle, who snuggled up closely to Big Mac as the couple walked through the town square. For nearly a year she’d resisted the temptation to use what remained of her new powers against Sugar Belle. It’d be so easy. No pony would have to know. She’d be there one day, gone the next. So easy. Too bad Cheerilee was just too soft to actually pull off anything like that. And stupid Big Mac seemed more infatuated with that Mary Sue by the day. Idiot.
She growled at the happy couple as they blissfully trotted away. But then she stopped. Something else caught had her attention. It wasn’t in line or at the booth. It wasn’t even in the town. It was something elsewhere. Something not right. She had to go. She quickly left the line.
Business had boomed for the fashionista since the Game. Mares from all over Equestria wanted clothes that fit a newer, more aggressive pony. And while she gladly accepted this new direction, she currently found herself working on something closer to home. Rarity lightly hummed as she stitched away at the garment. Well, garment would be a generous term. Applejack’s overalls had finally been worn and torn beyond recognition. They needed to be repaired and Rarity would not allow her to wear them again until they were. Which brought Rarity to a peculiar thought: she’d never actually seen Applejack wear overalls. Ever. So how could these get so torn up?
Rarity stopped sewing and pondered. Applejack almost never wore anything. She had been the one to remind Rarity that ponies are not typically spotted in clothing. So, what was with the overalls? She, Rarity, had worn overalls. Once. She tingled and bristled at the memory. She examined the denim and scrunched her face in thought.
Then it hit her – not about the overalls but something else. Something was amiss – even more so than the overalls situation. Something was wrong. Somepony was in need. She had to go. She dropped the overalls and bolted out of the store.
Granny was hollering at Applejack for not bucking enough apples. Three dozen bushels was not enough in an hour’s span. Apparently, when Granny was Applejack’s age she would get through at least three times that many in the same amount of time. It didn’t help that Granny seemed to have found some vigor. Ever since the Game she’d felt years younger, much to the chagrin of her grandchildren. Every day she was out in the orchard bucking or in the barn fixing something.
She had Applebloom working overtime preparing the meals and she absolutely refused to allow Sugar Belle on the farm until the harvest season was over. Big Mac was frustrated in several ways and irritable. Apple Bloom had lost all will to do any CMC activities and Applejack was so worn out she couldn’t even produce a country-ism to describe how worn out she was. The farm had never been so profitable.
Just as she was bucking her 296th tree that day, Granny stopped. Apples fell around her but she didn’t notice. Something had gone wrong. She felt it in her being. Her body tingled and her bones rattled at the sensation. Somepony needed her help. She had to go. She threw off the bushels and ran.
Tree Hugger breathed slowly and rhythmically, almost as though she was in a deep sleep. She was not, however, sleeping. She lay flat on her back, front legs limp at her side, back legs straight out. Her head, like the rest of her, rested comfortably on the soft moss of the forest floor. Her eyes remained closed and the sunlight shining into the small clearing didn’t seem to bother her.
All was right in her world. She moved from place to place, taking odd jobs when necessary, living off the land and her wits otherwise. She hadn’t a care. She felt ultimately at ease. Since the Game she’d found a new perspective on life. She embraced her new sisters and found admiration and comradery in her opponents. She looked for the qualities of those mares in others and found her choice of acquaintances had drastically improved.
Her eyes opened. She felt it. Something was amiss. Something was wrong. She felt it in the air and in the earth. The forest moved differently, as though it was telling her to go. It was right. She had to go. Her aura swung wildly out of balance. Her chakra broiled in anxiety. She stood quickly. Where to go? She wasn’t sure which direction it was exactly but something told her the problem was to the left of her. She turned that direction and ran off into the woods.
Cup Cake glared sternly at her children. While Carrot Cake had made incremental gains in reining in the diabolical twins, Cup Cake had come home from the Game with a new resolve. There was an air of authority about her that the twins knew not to question. Whenever she was around the babies seemed to be much better behaved.
Business had boomed for the Cakes. It wasn’t just the ponies of Ponyville that flocked to their shop. No, the entirety of Equestria wanted to step inside Sugarcube Corner, if only just to lay eyes on the pony that had been crowned the victor of the Game of Canterlot. Although Cup Cake was a bit reserved about all of the attention, she certainly couldn’t say no to the prosperity it brought to her family.
At this moment she was mixing batter for some muffins. Nothing special in her eyes but they were a favorite amongst the townponies. And she loved that they loved them so much. She never felt so content as when she was making treats for her fellow ponies. She began to hum pleasantly to herself. And then she stopped. Something had gone terribly wrong. Not with the muffins, mind you, but something else. It was distant but she still felt it. She was needed. She bowled over some customers as she ran out the door.
Fleur punched feverishly at the punching bag. She gave it a few good kicks and a couple of solid bucks. In the time since the Game of Canterlot she had been so ashamed to have been the first contestant knocked out. Initially she had been proud to just be part of the event. But the Canterlot elite had been particularly hard on her for so poorly representing them. She was chided and laughed at and not invited to some of the biggest parties in the city. Her social standing had plummeted.
A few friends remained. A few agencies still requested her for photoshoots. A couple of stores still gave her discounts. And of course she maintained contact with her fellow Game participants, especially her teammates. But it wasn’t like it used to be. She desperately wanted back in. The only way to do that was to be ready for next time, assuming there was a next time. But even if there wasn’t, she was out to prove herself, one way or another.
She continued to punch, imagining that the punching bag was any of the Canterlot elites that had snubbed her. Each punch a satisfying rehearsal for what might come to pass. But then she stopped. Her heavy breathing was the only sound in the room. She gasped and held her breath. Something had gone wrong. Somepony was in trouble. To Tartarus with the elite, this was more important. She had to go.
*
“You always do this!” cried Luna, following Celestia into the garden. “You think you can get away with anything just because you’re ‘mommy’s little princess’!” she sneered.
“Oh, stop it with that!” Celestia spat, trying to stay ahead of her sister. “That’s your excuse for everything. ‘Ooo, look at me, I’m dark and brooding because mommy didn’t love me. Ooo, I’m going to try to kill my sister because mommy didn’t love me!’ Pathetic.”
“Enough!”
“It’s true. And what’s more, you always seem to forget dad. So what if mom liked me more, you know you’re his favorite. I don’t complain about that.”
“Father did not pick favorites, sister. He is too noble of a stallion for such a trivial notion. If he didn’t like you it was because you earned it.” She stuck out her tongue.
“That’s it!” Celestia rounded on Luna, stopping the younger alicorn in her tracks. “I’ve had it with your attitude. I thought it would have changed by now but clearly I’ve been mistaken. Maybe a little timeout will help,” she chided, glancing to the moon.
“You wouldn’t dare!” Luna bellowed, taking a step back. “I will not allow it!”
“You certainly allowed it last time,” Celestia stated with an evil smirk.
“Mother and father would not allow it!”
“They did last time, too.”
Luna was visibly shaking with rage. Her eyes darted in every direction as she searched for a retort. “You…You…You…”
Celestia smiled smugly down at her sister.
“WRETCH!”
Celestia stopped smiling.
“You…you are a pustulous boil on the delicate complexion of my soul! You are a stain of excrement on the silken sheets of my existence. You…you…you…” – she was winding up – “you smug, pompous, heartless, rotten, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, garbage-sniffing, spineless, hopeless, gutless, lecherous, two-timing, horse-faced, bug-eyed, cockatrice-loving, worthless sack of monkey feces!”
Celestia was shaken. Never had Luna strung together such a string of insults. Aside from being impressed she was incredibly hurt by the barrage of degradation. She held a hoof to her chest. “I…I…”
“Now, now, do you think it appropriate to treat your sister so cruelly?” came a voice from behind Celestia. The princesses turned to see Cheerilee step up to Celestia’s side. “I do believe an apology is in order.” She used her best teacher’s voice.
“Apology?!” chided Rarity, appearing next to Luna. “For what? Defending herself against such brazen belittlement? I think not!”
“Quit the chin waggin’!” Granny commanded, stepping up next to Rarity. “Discipline gots to be dealt swift-like.”
“’Sup, elder,” Tree Hugger lazily greeted, sauntering up to the other side of Celestia. “I sensed my sister was in danger,” she said, turning her attention to Luna. “That is something my soul will not allow.”
“Sorry, dearies,” huffed Cup Cake, taking her place on the other side of Luna. “I came as quickly as I could.” She looked over to the opposing mares. “Oh dear, are we having a disagreement?”
“More than that,” corrected Fleur di Lis, now standing next to Cheerilee. “We are clearly having a prelude.” She looked at Celestia and nodded. Celestia smiled and returned the nod.
“It seems as though another Game is in the making,” Celestia stated, glaring at Luna.
Luna huffed. “So it would seem.” She looked over her teammates. “Three days, at sundown,” she stated, staring at her sister.
“Sunrise,” corrected Celestia. “We started at sundown last time.”
“Fine,” Luna huffed.
“So be it,” countered Celestia.
“Very well,” scoffed Luna.
“Indeed.”
“So it shall be.”
“Quite.”
“We have an accord.”
“Yep.”
The teams slowly backed away from each other but never took their eyes off their opponents. Glares and sneers were exchanged until each team had reached opposite ends of the garden. They slipped out of sight. A cold wind swept through the garden and then, for the time being, all was quiet.
