Episode 56: "Mind Games Part 1"

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Mind Games Part 1

She had escaped... again. Normally, I already knew that by the time the doctors told me. She always came here, always treating it like a visit. As long as she got the adequate time with myself or Diamond Tiara she escaped in the first place for, she went along peacefully with the doctors when they arrived.

I was genuinely shocked when the doctors arrived looking for her, and I had to explain that I hadn't seen her. Naturally we checked my bedroom, Diamond Tiara's, and every inch of the household. Everywhere. Even as... cunning as she could be at times, our search was one she couldn't have avoided...

The doctors had staked out our home for hours, and the next day. Finally they reluctantly concluded she wasn't coming or was unable to come, and began scouring the way the griffon flies from our home to the asylum. I was instructed to inform the authorities immediately if she arrived.

I didn't think it was possible for this house to feel more hollow. Without diamonds or gold in my company, I suddenly felt like a pauper. At least I always knew where she was before! What was left of her at least. The broken thing inhabiting my princess' body, if she could by miracle of miracles be saved and was herself again, at least I'd know where to find her. And, if not, her broken hollow shell was where I could keep an eye on it.

Now she was just... gone. Like a ghost. Like Diamond, it was like some great shadow had swooped down and taken them away. No I don't think it was the tyrant, I'd put nothing past her, but if it was she'd have simply taken them and have told me so by now, throwing legal mumbo jumbo in my face. The chaos monster? Don't be absurd, even if the tyrant was foolish enough to release it to distract from her own evil, that doesn't fit its behavior at all.

What kind of sick game is this? First my wife becomes that... that, mad pony. Then I find out my daughter has been acting like those narwhal elitists, then she vanishes, and THEN I learned she had fought with her best friend. Was I that much a foreigner to my daughter's world?

And the shadow of my wife disappears. Some thugs could be having their way with her right now!

That... that thi-, my wife. My wife escaped due to totally incompetent morons who were supposed to be keeping her from hurting herself! I wonder why more of their patients don't plague Ponyville! If this was supposed to be their best then I dare say it is not good enough!

I'd have had her transferred to a new ward in Manehatten or Phillydelphia but... but at least this way I'd always know where she'd be when she escapes.

Either of my princesses could be in the hooves of degenerates or the jaws of monsters!

A black veil fell over the hollowed out castle of our fairytale.

How can I call her a hollow shell when she kept escaping just to visit us? I always felt she was just going through the motions. I cringed each time she hugged Tiara, always scared at what she might do next. If she'd do it again. I didn't dare do anything to provoke her.

She acted so normal during those visits, I could even dare to think she was herself again. But the look in her eyes, seeing only what she could see, the way she moved, so graceful yet, a tenseness whenever she stood still. Sometimes I could almost imagine that my real wife was somewhere in there, calling out from some deep pit.

The staff say I'm sleeping more and eating less. Sigh. Rich's Barnyard Bargains doesn't run itself. I couldn't afford to sit on my flanks and put innocent ponies out of work.

I don't think my hooves have ever felt so heavy.

What good is a prince without his princess or his little princess?

The last light had gone out in this house. There wasn't a single less pony in my home since my little princess had run-runa, runaw-, had gone missing. But that didn't stop it and me from feeling emptier.

As for the Apples and myself, it's business as normal. Though Granny Smith did extract from me an apology for throwing her granddaughter out of my house. And as a gentlestallion I had no choice but to comply.

That old lady is shrewd and takes no lip from nopony. I pity the fool who mistakes her for senile. She is easily the world's second most wonderful mare. Maybe I should have had Diamond spend more time at the Apples' farm to teach her to appreciate hard work, despite what my daughter thought, Granny Smith's youngest granddaughter, despite being the same age as my Diamond, does more work in a day than many adults. Sometimes I think Granny Smith should have a sledge hammer for her cutie mark rather than an apple pie, not that she needed it, the Apples enjoy their work heartedly, something I very much respect.

I don't know where the fanciful rumor started that I disliked Cutie Marks. My wife has always had a strange aversion to them but it was a simple quirk like all ponies have rather than some crippling flaw.

The day of Princess Gaia? No I suppose I haven't talked about that in my previous interview. What do you wish for me to say? That I loath her for imposing her will upon innocent ponies? That I love her for curing my staff and one colt of the damage done to them on the day of the chaos monster?

I don't care. Why should I care whether it becomes one tyrant at the top or three, whether a feather duster breaks the narwhal's system and goes from an enforcer to a ruler?

That day? Yes yes I suppose I am dodging the question I suppose. I apologize. A gentlestallion should not do so on so important a question, nor should he witlessly repeat himself.

This will be private? Thank you.

It was wonderful. Absolutely positively perfectly wonderful!

Reliving an iteration of our first meeting, that golden moment where we connected against all odds. And, I feel so disgusted with myself, being made a creature from fantasy, then a feather duster, then a narwhal, and enjoying every moment of it. Every moment was wonderful, because she was there to enjoy it with me! We could have been Diamond Dogs and it would have still been magical! If given the bargain, I would have ACCEPTED being a Diamond Dog if I could have finally had my real wife back! Not some broken thing with her face.

Did I have fun with the other, the other foals that day? Yes, yes I did.

Princess Gaia, Miss Fluttershy's plan of paradise for a day was fumbled by the tyrant, so says the papers the tyrant has been trying to keep everypony from reading.

She isn't like other feather-dusters, she doesn't look down on Earth Ponies figuratively and literally.

So yes. I was sorry when Princess Gaia's day ended. When... when Miss Fluttershy was exorcised of the Nightmare's spirit.

I was happy that day. My only regret is that Diamond Tiara wasn't there to share it with us. If she was, I'd have died to protect that version of things.

A fortune is a poor substitute for those you love. I'd have given up half my fortune for just keeping her an innocent filly who I would have cared for and protected like a second daughter, who I'd protect from the monsters and raise to be a fine mare, even that version of her is better than none.

Anything, anything has to be better than being trapped under layers upon layers of that creature's insanity. I'm sorry, let me get a tissue.

I was grateful for any company.

Ever since reliving that one beautiful day, even the vicarious mares I found were shallow, no they were always shallow imitations, but now I couldn't even bring myself to super impose my princess' image on their visages. I think many of the opportunistic blood suckers were disappointed when I stopped offering a night in my bed.

I take it back, I am grateful for real company.

I was surprised when Miss Matilda brought a jack with her to our monthly meeting. These meetings used to be covered by my princess but, but it's fallen on me now. In her long years in Ponyville Miss Matilda had become quite the buyer and seller of antiques, circulating them in the upper class.

Donkeys live longer than ponies, this was a scientifically proven fact, and Matilda while she certainly didn't look young, none would guess she was roughly the same age as Granny Smith.

This gave Matilda life experience with the antiques she sold and bought. She was a hard worker. Something I could appreciate. She didn't look it, but she was a successful business donkey.

For some strange reason, many ponies come to the weird assumption that I somehow think donkeys are somehow 'inferior' to Earth ponies and that I'd somehow feel loathing towards them for not having cutie marks, let alone the idea that they are part of the narwhal overlords' conspiracy that keeps Earth Ponies out of Canterlot.

While I feel that donkeys are at a disadvantage for not being able to have a sign for when they discover their true selves, on the other hoof this means they aren't prone to the misinterpretations that plagues many young foals these days. The idea donkeys were of less worth without cutie marks is absurd.

Some donkeys were more hard working than some Earth ponies I knew.

Matilda introduced the jack with her as Cranky Doodle Donkey, apparently they met exactly once when they were young at the Grand Galloping Gala, and had spent their entire donkey lifetime looking for each other and found each other at last only this year. I know Golden Tiara would approve of such a romantic tale if she was still herself.

Stupid? My dear, you have never been in love.

Cranky said he had given up his quest and had come to Ponyville for rural 'peace and quiet' (I dreaded how to explain to him how out of date those brochures had become on that subject in the last year). "And the first thing I run into is a full scale musical and an over-charged pink pony."

Of course, Pinkie Pie: Ponyville's resident critically accurate soothsayer, party organizer, party animal, one pony welcoming committee, song smith, and until recently resident harmless lunatic. Apparently you could only forcibly commit somepony if they were a danger to themselves or others... which sadly, didn't contradict-

ANYWAY- Cranky had no interest in being social. Pinkie had insisted it was her 'civic duty' as Ponyville's 'welcoming pony' to help him move in his belongings. At least she had the sense of personal space not to play with any of it.

With her Welcoming Wagon she had also showered him with confetti that he was still getting out of his black hair and had presented him with a cake that he had begrudgingly accepted.

Cranky found the pony weird, she kept saying something about 'this time around, of course this isn't really a redo if we haven't actually done this before.' She had then thrown in a Spa Treatment she INSISTED was part of the welcoming package to any newcomer to Ponyville. And hoping to get the pony to go away faster Cranky had conceded.

Cranky loathed to admit, but the spa treatment had not been that bad on his bones.

As Pinkie Pie provided free unpacking and moving services (and Cranky swore it was like she was unloading and unpacking at the same time), she asked questions about the story behind each of his trinkets. And he had let hints slip of his quest to find his own princess.

I swear, that pink pony is dangerous with how much smarter she is than she looks, and being rational now makes her scary. She asked what the deal was with his scrapbook. He said it was personal. But like I said, it was scary how manipulative that pony can be when she tries. Pinkie promised to leave him alone if he told her about it, and of course Cranky complied.

Within HOURS Pinkie Pie had Matilda at Cranky's doorstep. Apparently she'd seen Matilda's scrapbook, "I've been friends with Pinkie Pie long before my Doodle came to Ponyville," and that had tipped the pink pony off.

"And that was the first time I had smiled in decades," Cranky admitted.

I never understood anypony who thought donkeys were stupid or lazy, and personally found the company of such ideas distasteful.

It did bring up the uncomfortable subject of cows and sheep of course, who on at least one occasion had filed a formal complaint on cases of mistreatment to the Ponies for the Ethical Treatment of Animals in Canterlot. I had my lawyer help them get through the red tape. What's with the look? Why wouldn't I cheer for a group not wanting to be treated as inferior?

Medical studies were still pending on if goats were sapient or just sentient. Minotaurs seemed to treat goats the way 'huh-mons' were said to have treated monkeys in the myths.

There was also the fact that donkeys could cross with ponies (like griffins). The mix being hinnies and mules. -Who contrary to popular belief had a minority who were not barren.-

Mules were not naturally retarded, an insult Cranky took personally since Matilda had a couple mules in her family tree. In fact, many were exceptionally intelligent. Though they're still more welcome than Hippogriffs.

All in all, I was personally disgusted at phrases like 'stupid jackass' and 'ugly as a mule' being circulated by ponies. Who could be so shallow and inconsiderate of other creatures as to assign such negative moniker?

+++

Rarity sneezed. For some odd reason having a flash back to her time being kidnapped by Diamond Dogs.

++++

The server brought coffee and cookies, complete with cups made for a pair of hooves to press against either side to hold rather than use a narwhal's telekinesis or your mouth.

I really need to remember to raise the salary of all my staff with a bonus to boot. None of them quit after the day the chaos monster reigned. The parents of the foal hadn't sued mostly because every pony in Ponyville had done completely horrid and deranged things under the chaos monster's curse.

What Matilda went through was known only to her and her therapist. One rumor said she began smoking and drinking like a sailor, the other was that the chaos monster had left her perfectly sane but only able to bray. Personally I'd wager it involved Cranky in some way, fitting its sense of 'humor.' Cranky had been spared being between cities at the time. I never thought I'd loath another monster's rule worse than the Tyrant's.

It was beautiful to see her find her prince charming. I could tell Cranky didn't fit the bill of what most fillies thought of for a prince, but being my wife's prince, I knew that there was no accounting for taste and everypony looked for something different in their other half.

Contrary to his manner, Cranky was not unable to fit into upper crust protocol, he had managed to get invited to the Grand Galloping Gala after all, the one social event that was greatness, art, beauty, and rigid snobbery taken to its zenith.

I think somewhere deep down, some piece of Golden Tiara was still with me. Because she was the only 'prim and proper' mare I knew who could ask what I did next.

"So when will you two be getting married?"

The two donkeys brayed in surprise at my boldness.

Matilda stuttered, Cranky's mouth became a steel trap.

"We-we, I hadn't even, we just met again and-"

"Miss Matilda, you both spent a lifetime looking for each other, if that's not in love, then I don't know what is."

"Feels a little odd to do now, after all these years," Cranky said surprisingly polite on the matter.

"Good sir. You are never too old to get married," I said proudly.

Cranky got his persona back. "Look, if I was to marry Matilda I'd want it to be perfect! And I can't afford that, especially after I just moved to Ponyville! So it's better that we just be together and-"

"Any wedding is perfect as long as you walk away with your bride in your hooves. But if you insist... allow me to hoof the bill. Go hog wild, no excess is too much."

The donkeys brayed again in surprise.

"We-mr. Rich, er, Tiara, I could never accept-"

"I insist madam. I could never bear to see such a lovely couple like yourselves to not go through the most magical day of your lives and not have it be perfect."

I know what my princess would've said, "A fairytale like yours deserves to have its proper happy ending."

"I-I don't know what to say," Matilda replied as Cranky apparently tried to get a gear unstuck in his head.

"We can get started with the details."

I loved the looks on their faces. But in the back of my mind, I still dreaded to think of what horrid monster might have their hooves on the most precious of all my diamonds.

What do you mean she could have run away because I was sleeping with those mares?! If that really upset her she'd tell me! She's... she's like her mother that way... she always speaks her mind, she's always straight forward. She's always honest no matter how much it hurts... . Or I thought she was.

Was that little creature insulting Granny Smith my real daughter?

How did this happen? She was all I had left. My little princess, my most precious diamond, my perfectly behaved angel, I love her. How could that side of her even exist? Was the filly who happily squealed when I hugged her just a lie?

NO! I won't believe that! I refuse to believe that! That Diamond Tiara couldn't have been a lie! I raised a young lady, not a shameless bully.

I always made sure she wanted for nothing. Like a good father should. Did I spoil her?

I don't care! She's still my daughter! Diamond Tiara! Just come home to papa! You're all I have left. I don't want to think what kind of irredeemable beast might have their claws in you right now!

+++

I hate being the spirit of chaos.

Oh but I love chaos! That's no surprise! And I love surprises too! The looks on people's faces! The delight of the unexpected! The revelry of total nonsense! The disruption of the boring old order of things! The fun never ends!

I love being chaotic! I just hate being the spirit of it. Naw. I just hate being told what to DO as one.

Can't have too much fun! Keep things random! Follow these guidelines! DUH, of course I love nonsense! And I love surprises almost as much! But why should chaos even NEED a management position? It's not order! There shouldn't be any book to balance!

It's my JOB! Jeez, it's like having someone TELL someone to do their hobby! It stops being a hobby and becomes work!

And worthless rules that do nothing but create illusionary consequences for everything! Would you dictate to an artist what they could and couldn't paint?! Oh brother.

Keep chaos in its place, not too much, not too little, just enough to let the world move forward. Too much chaos and things never change?

Stuff like that is exactly the kind of worthless horseapples I'm talking about! There's no such thing as 'too much chaos' as long as there's fun to be had!

Why should I care if ponies bellyache when I play rough with them? It's not my fault they never get the joke! The only time its ever caused trouble was when I started running out of them to have fun with, then I had to wait a few hundred years for them to restock! With how many couples weren't even bothering to have foals I was worried I was going to have to start, ick, playing match maker! It was like the ones I didn't drive crazy had lost the will to live without one bit of pretty reckless abandon.

And the most stupid rule of all, 'insure sapient life can exist.' Pandora always said, 'Each Draconequi cares about life in their own way.' Of course I care for life! What's the point of the game if no pony plays it? I don't want to run out of playthings! And they break so easily. Good for me they're so adept at replacing themselves.

And here I am, a spirit of chaos stuck with rules.

Spirit of Disharmony on the other hand? My own personal invented position? I do what I want to do and nothing one else! Not Mother! Not Father! Not any of my siblings, not the Alicorns we bend over backwards towards! And certainly not Celestia!

Watch the cute little ponies flee in fear, watch them squirm, watch the looks on their faces at my many, many surprises! And the best part is watching them go at with each other. Breaking bonds, disrupting connections, ponies with no links to others, and music of broken hearts grinding against each other. If only they had a better sense of humor.

They never even try to see the funny side! I free them of those meaningless platitudes and they can't wait to make themselves humorless slaves again. Maybe I need a bigger anvil.

The age of the three tribes was a riot for me! Have to say, Strife sure knew how to make ponies go at each other! Stirring up that racial hatred to the boiling point, it's so much more fun seeing the little pony dolls when they go at it. Besides, who likes those 'slice of life' stories anyway? Everyone knows the REAL cool stories are the ones with epic amounts of conflict! Pst. Now I sound like my sister. Screw structure.

They say when you're petrified, you lose all consciousness, or you're simply dead. After the cold feeling running through you and the numbness, that everything goes black, and that is that. Or, if you are aware, you're stuck looking in one direction, totally paralyzed, unable to move no matter how much you want to, doomed to just scream inside your own mind forever.

Why couldn't it be like that-?!

For the love of Havoc and Entropy why?!

When you're stone, after the initial numbness you can feel every part of you, even your hair, since none of yourself technically has nerves at the moment, you're a whole piece. Since you don't really have eyeballs, just more stone, you can look in every direction. Same with your other senses. Those things I don't mind. The pigeons and the rain are nice surprises.

But the awful part is your mind! You don't go crazy at all! You don't panic! You aren't really afraid for long either! Your emotions are all still there but detached!

You enter a perfectly peaceful and calm zen-like state. You're one with the universe (One with Celly's Parent, yuck!). Your mind is perfectly clear and free of inner distractions and you become indifferent to outer distractions. Your thoughts function in perfect crystal clarity as you peacefully contemplate your place in the grand order of things. You don't sleep but you don't mind. Unless you put energy into resisting, your default desire is to just mentally smile and let it all happen, and you couldn't be more sane, and I HATE IT!

Oh, and it isn't one of those 'rethink your life' things. You don't suddenly grow one of those useless 'consciences' everybody always tells me I don't have (that's not true, I had one... I think I sold it on ebray when it got in my way). I wish it was like that, at least that'd be interesting. No, you just think about your place in the universe, not how you can change it or why you should.

You're a draconequus shaped piece of rock, you're happy being a draconequus shaped piece of rock, you don't mind if you stay one forever or not. There is only peaceful thoughtful reflection.

I hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it, hate it! I hate being sane! I hate being thoughtful! I hate being one with the universe! This perfectly orderly existence is enough to make me explode! Almost. Sadly. And I become calm and peaceful again the moment I stop focusing on my anger! Agh!

When you're stone, you enter the calm, peaceful, zen-like state. You're one with the universe, you don't feel the eons roll by at all, and I HATE IT!

This seriously takes out some of the fun of the cockatrice turning those pegasi who found my little pony into rocks. Even if they're stone until the sun burns out they won't despair over not seeing their families again and just accept it as the way things go! They'll likely spend the eons mentally composing poetry no one will hear but them and be perfectly fine with that! I'm sure Pandora loves that, I find it boring!

At least I get a kick out of their families never knowing what happened to them. Maybe I'll tell them after I've dumped Equestria's source of Phoenix tears at the bottom of the ocean.

But the worst part is, the absolute worst part, is that no matter how long they're statues, if they're ever restored, they won't be traumatized in the least!

Thinking back on it, if that's the case, turning Celly and Lulu into statues like I wanted would have let them be one with Their Folks maybe. Not happening.

What? Don't tell me you thought I didn't turn ponies to stone out of the kindness of my hearts. Bwahahahahaha!

So yes, I suppose I am grateful Firefly saved me from that cockatrice when I was too small to realize I could have turned it into a banana tree if I wanted.

I loath My Mother, Her and Her perfectly orderly frozen limbo filled with shadows of existence. How I could possibly be a child of Hers is truly a mystery to me.

Dad said he was all about the fear, but he had all those useless little rules to govern it! At least in the end he saw the light and was kind enough to... contribute to my new position as Spirit of Disharmony and Great and Really Great Chancellor of the One Insignificant Mud Ball.

Grrrrrr! I hate how easy it is to calm down like this too.

Ahem.

Now I'm sure many of you are wondering. 'What caused you to turn out so bad.' 'Why oh why are you so evil?' 'How could you possibly do the things you do?' And all those other meaningless questions about the 'whys' and 'what for's.' Why does everything need an annoying motive? It's not like anyone -cares- why the man in the blue spandex and the man in the black spandex are punching each other. You're in it for the fun! It's not like anyone cares for plot or consistency anymore.

Maybe I regenerated myself wrong and got brain damaged. Maybe some bug is growing in my brain. Or maybe I was just born with this winning personality! Why does it matter how I got to be the marvelous badass of chaos in front of you?

So you really want to know that badly huh? Even though it doesn't change a thing? Pst. Well, if you insist. Ahem.

Maestro!

Why am I so wicked?...
Nobody cares to ask...
He's just a sick buck they say,
to it there's nothing else.

But-if-you-want-to then here we go!

I wanted to be the spirit of comedy and mischief but parents wouldn't let me
Lulu stole my ball
Celly gave me a fish when we kissed
And that is why I am so evil!

This is the life you see! Morning Star tips his hat to me!

Mother made me wear a sparkling tie and galoshes for the family photo when I was small
We natural order loving Draconequus were slaughtered by the civilization imposing Alicorns.
Like when that Alicorn stole my ice cream
And that is why I am so evil!

Mother never loved me
My siblings tortured me whenever I did something wrong
Celestia said she liked tulips not roses like I got her
And that is why I am so evil!

A/N: Discord mentally appears in pink dress!

Father told me that they wanted another girl and not a boy

A/N: Discord tears off pink dress!

Weekmare Loon ran over my tricycle with her puppy
And that is why I am so evil!

I am the spirit of Disharmony
I do my job and I do it happily!

A/N: Discord mentally wears a pair of cheap reading glasses. And reads a small note card.

And that iz why ze subject suffers fro disruptive anti-social behavior manifesting as spontaneous acts of chaos.

But I must confess one reason I have forgot, listen closely, learn the darkest, deepest reason of ALLL ---

A/N: Discord mentally begins dancing to a boom box.

Discord just wanna have fun! Oh yeah! Yeah Discord just wanna have fun!

Discord is what I do, and I do it for fun! Period. Whether that's raining puppies or spiders.

Whether it's giving little fillies candy or grenades!

Whether it makes ponies smile or cry as long as I walk away smiling what do I care?

And now this particular pant leg of reality is no longer connected to the heart world! Which means there is nothing to protect this world's fate now. Which means I get to have as much fun as I want. The 'bad guy' can win and no one cares! Which means there's no more annoying status quo to get in my way.

Like I'm telling my little pony.

"The shadows who watch would have never let you save your mother if this world was still tied to the heart world, but now that its chains have been broken, you don't have to fear about them cheating you out of your win!"

And she sure has a big sense of entitlement! Let me tell you! I love it! My little pony knows what she wants. That's something I'll have to fix. Like they do with cats.

I shall confess, it's been nice having her around. A pony who actually listens to what I have to say instead of just whining, 'spare my family!' or 'we'll beat you, somehow' or 'I don't want to be a door-to-door sales mushroom' oy!'

And she belongs to me.

Celestia once said I couldn't do a thing if I didn't have my magic as a crutch. That I couldn't get one pony to obey me without magically altering them.

And here she is Celly. My little pony! One of Celestia's children! And she's mine now! All she's missing is a collar with my name on it!

And I haven't had to do one illusion and present it as fact, I haven't, okay, maybe I've lied a little, no more than an average pony, but I've mostly been just implying. I haven't had to alter her brain patterns, rewrite her memories, or insert a new personality. Not like I could do any of those things right now. Being a statue and everything. But Celly! Oh Celly! I have taken one of your ponies, and made her into mine! Without so having to use force or magic at all!

No self fulfilling prophecy. No illusions to traumatize one favorite whose laughter sadly had to go. No delusion to dig out her greedy side. No need to brute force it. And... okay maybe a little conflicting loyalties, but it ISN'T a scenario engineered by me! Ha ha! No turning all her friends into monsters to break her. I didn't HAVE to do that! She alienated her only friend all by herself! I'm so proud!

My voice is the only weapon that I need! And she belongs to me!

She listens to what I have to say. She does as I say. And oh oh oh! She has so many traits in her that I'd love to have in a family!

We really do make a winning team! Is this what ponies call 'joy?' Ha ha!

But all good things must come to an end.

She will be my masterpiece.

+++++

I had never felt so awful in my life.

I had never felt so dirty either! Every one of my leg joints ached. I thought Earth ponies were supposed to be built with strength and endurance and a supernatural link to the ground to make up for not having magic horns and not being able to fly. And I thought that stupid hopping over the water cans while singing the ABCs was miserable!

I wanna go home.

But dad's going to be so angry at me for running away unless mom is all better again. And he'll go right back to finding more of those cheap fakes of her.

It's scary here. Like I'm invisible, the narwhal, the unicorns just push right past me, no pony looks at me, their eyes just roll over me. Like I don't exist.

I'm repeating myself aren't I? I don't know.

Canterlot is so big. So much bigger than Ponyville. It took me so long to get here by hoof, I thought everything would be done and done right after I got inside and I'd have my life back.

But it's like Ponyville could fit into one of these districts. How can a city built into a mountain side be so big? How much stuff do they have to keep shipping to and from here to keep everything running?

It made me feel even smaller. Even foals my own age looked at me like I was a fire-hydrant.

And so many unicorns. Reminded me of one of my tutor's lectures about some nowhere town called Hoofington that was supposedly 'conquered' by invading unicorns and bringing the founding Earth ponies under their hooves and to beware a similar fate befalling Ponyville.

The voice kept telling me to press on, but my body was beginning to shut down. You think after sleeping for three months I'd have had plenty of sleep. So why am I so tired?

'Maybe you're just a lazy pony. A lazy pony who doesn't care for her family. Or maybe a hard working one who got soooo far without anyone's help. Heh. Except for mine of course.'

I... I... I find a park, I munch on some grass behind the 'Do Not Eat The Grass' sign. I... ick. The voice applauds me for ignoring the sign. I hate this. I want to go home to my room, to my bed, my blankets, my pillow.

But... this flower bed, feels nice enough.

I have the worst nightmare of my life. I'm in a blasted cracked desert. The sky is some twisted mix of storm clouds and a twilight sky. I'm surrounded by other ponies, pegasi, earth ponies, unicorns, little fairy ponies, sea horse ponies, ponies that look half griffin. Dozens, hundreds. All looking from different eras. They all have black collars on their necks with silver spikes, chained to this huge chariot with this huge fat horned snake in it with fire for its eyes and mouth. "Cry Havoc!" Its voice came from everywhere.

I realized there's a collar around my neck too. The horned snake whips its tail. I have to race or I'll be crushed under everypony else. To pull the giant chariot that dwarfs me like a building. I can barely breath! The noise of the trampling hooves. The cries of everypony around me! It's horrible! Make it stop! Makes it stop please! I don't want to be here! What did I do to deserve this place?! Somepony please just end it!

"Hey filly! Wake up!"

I open my eyes and scream at the bat winged monster in front of me.

"Whao-whao-whao girl! Calm down! It's okay!" Said the leathery winged pegasus in blue and black armor.

The nightmare's images faded but left an impression like a cattle branding on my mind. I shivered at the sight of the royal guard.

"Er, look," said the bat pegasus embarrassed, "I hate to do this to you little miss, but the park's closing, you'll have to find somewhere else. Where are your folks? If you tell me I can take you right to them."

No! Can't go home yet! Mustn't go home yet! Get away! Get away!

I don't know where I find the strength but I run away from the Night Guard, out of the park, though the less crowded streets.

'Faster little filly faster! Or maybe you don't WANT your mother to be well after all. Maybe you want her to stay abnormal. Maybe you want your mother to stay in that tiny room!'

"No no no, I'm going as fast as I-" I trip and skid on my muzzle. I sniffle. I have never gone so far, or run so much in my life. I force myself to get up and hide between a pair of dumpsters.

I see a couple Night Guards fly overhead but they don't see me.

The nightmare made me too terrified to go back to sleep.

'As long as you walk the path I've set for you, I'll always protect you,' whispered the voice.

"Help me."

"My dear now that we're in Canterlot if I try to help you directly I might get the Alicorns' attention, and they'll make sure you never save your mother. Or maybe you really do want to give up after everything. Quit halfway, screw your family, screw your parents, just go back to your nice, safe bed right? Who cares that your father just keeps sleeping with mares and your mother is the pleasurable company for some big white pegasi in the nut house? I'm sure they'll understand that you came so close to saving her and gave up at the last second."

"I don't give up." I think that's the first time I've ever said those words.

"That's a good filly who sees things through to the end. Or a bad one who doesn't know when to quit? Which do you think?"

"I don't know!"

"Very good filly. Now get a bit more rest. That wasn't a request."

I obey.

The more I try not think about my nightmare, the more I think about it, the more I think about it, the more I strangely think of every time I've pushed down other foals to push my bad feelings aside, if I had power over them, then I wasn't powerless right? I wasn't helpless. Little pawns to play with.

And the more the strange sickness strikes me the more I try to draw strength from that. What was this feeling?

'Oh my little pony. If there's one thing you don't need to feel guilty or regretful for it's that. It's FUN to play with ponies' lives. Make them feel their worst to make you feel your best. Watch them dance to your tune. You just need to learn to be more sublime about it. Isn't it such a fun game to play?'

"Game?"

'Oh yes my little pony! Don't you understand? We My dear we both love to play mind games!'

Manipulation is the name of the game
Manipulation, makes all other games look tame
The goal is control of their soul...

We both love playin' mind games,
Stretchin' their mind till it snaps
We like to play mind games, mind games,
Makin' the whole thing collapse

Confusion, is the order of the day.
Intimidation, turns the wisest mares to fools
Caught, overwrought, and destroyed...

Suddenly the world seems out of joint
Don't you know, baby, that's the point?

Twistin' their heads out of shape
We both love to play mind games, mind games,
There's no way to escape mind games!

It was funny, the voice had never, related to me before. It made me think of Silver Spoon and Miss Rarity. I felt proud of all those times I showed how easy it was to play ponies, but the sickness struck back again. But I endured it, the voice comforted me. And this time I entered a black, silent, dreamless sleep.

'Alright my dear I think you've wasted enough of my time,' said the voice in a totally cheery and friendly tone. 'It's time to wake up. Or do I need to yell into your brain again?'

I struggle awake, groggy, no one had picked the garbage yet apparently. It was past dawn now.

I didn't wait for the voice to tell me to get up and get moving. I got up on my own and began trotting in the direction I had been headed since entering the city like a good little puppet.

I'm a puppet? Maybe... but it's going to help me. I scratch its back, it scratches mine, right?

I was getting used to the invisible feeling I got from all the unicorns around me.

I was leaving the hotels and tourist shops behind me, and was getting among the houses and homes. Aren't those the same thing? I'm not sure anymore. Help me.

'I am helping you dear. Very much so. It's not my fault if you can't make good use of the help I keep giving you now is it? Does it matter if you're a good or bad pony if you can't even make use of all the help you're given?'

I trotted along, I couldn't stop thinking how big Canterlot looked! With the city built on a cliff there were so many stairs, but at the same time so many long streets, it was like the city was bigger on the inside than the outside! In Ponyville finding your way around was easy. Here it was one big maze!

So many more of the buildings were made out of bricks instead of wood, and so much was painted white and gold. The weird thing was seeing some ponies were busy repainting buildings blue and silver in places. And there wasn't a speck of dirt outside the parks anywhere! Everything was paved! The hard streets were beginning to hurt my unshod hooves.

And the buildings were so tall! I had only seen them from Ponyville or the Canterlot royal gardens before, but being right next to them, they made me feel so small. They should have been casting shadows everywhere, but it was like the light knew just which way to go to cast its warmth on everything.

The noise was like one big wall on all sides pushing against me. Ponies chatting, shouting, singing, the herd's hooves hitting against the stone streets going every direction at once. The smell of fresh baked bread, a dozen different perfumes and colognes, carefully taken care of flowers and stone.

It was all chaos! Everything was so confusing! How was anypony supposed to get anywhere or find anything in this mess? I wouldn't know what to do without the voice.

The houses all looked so fancy and yet looked so much alike. I guess houses had to 'be in style' too. The gardens in front are about the only thing that each look, 'special.'

It was one big river, and I was swimming up stream no matter which way I went! And every time an adult brushed passed me, or a foal pushed me aside, I'd be reminded that I was the only naked pony I saw. That never mattered much before, dresses were just for when you felt like being fancy. But now I felt exposed, vulnerable. I really wish I'd taken a dress before I ran away. Or maybe a doll. Or told papa I'd be back soon.

Or maybe, if I knew it was the last time we'd have fun, spend a little more time on my birthday with Silver-

NOW NOW, focus on the present dear!

There are some Earth Ponies here now, that makes it a little easier. I see some feather dusters-pegasi too, I guess the unicorns can't do the weather by themselves. But the Earth ponies, they look at me exactly the same way the unicorns are! Either like I'm not here or don't belong here. Like I'm some sort of stain on their clothes! The pegasi, the unicorns, the Earth Ponies, they all act exactly the same. I don't understand.

I think I liked it better when none of them were looking at me, those eyes.

'There, there, my little pony, they just have an over inflated sense of importance and look down on everypony that doesn't fit their view of perfection... Hmm, you'd think you'd fit in better here, wouldn't you?'

I shut my eyes and think, 'If you're helping me then help me!'

The voice laughs, a big one. It's between a stallion and, something else... my skin crawls. It reminds me how ponies at that place my mom's in laugh... 'Oh, I thought you'd never ask my little pony.' The voice clears its throat like Miss Cheerilee about to start her lecture. 'Now, first thing you need to know is there are two types of ponies in this world. Learn to identify and control both. There are the ones who are blindly selfish and the ones that blindly care for everypony, blegh. The selfish ones are the ones who only look out for themselves and no one else. The ones who worship the almighty bit. Personally, I think those are the smart ones, but they're also very easy to get to do what you want them to. All it takes is enough bits or something valuable and you've got them wrapped around your hoof.'

I listen and walk, that's all I can do.

'But also, these types will do anything to save their own hides, their family doesn't mean anything to them, they don't have friends, ponies are friends with their money or status, the only thing they value are things and themselves. Dig up a little dirt on them and they'll do tricks like dogs.

'As for the... ugh... nice ones. They're gullible, all it takes is a little fake injury or pretending to be nice to make them do exactly what you want them to. They'll believe near anything you want them too if you can say it innocently enough. They think everypony thinks like them, and even the ones who aren't ponies. They think donkeys, dragons, zebras, all of them are really deep down trying to be good ponies because what could be better than that? The selfish ones will betray the world to save themselves, the foolish ones will betray the world to protect their friends.'

I keep listening... which one am I? Am I a dumb nice pony or a smart selfish pony?... I don't know anymore... Shouldn't that scare me?

'That's a good girl... Now where was I? Oh yes, a personal favorite trick of mine, Deceit. Tell a pony the right motivational lie and watch them climb mountains! You're already pretty good at lying, but lies will only get you so far, my dear. Deceit will be your best weapon, my little pony but there's more to Deceit than just lying, as wonderfully useful as that is. Twisting the truth can work every bit as well as not telling it. In fact, it often works better!'

'How?'

'First some finer points about lying. You already know my little pony that ponies will believe what they want to be real, or are afraid is real, and I am so proud that you've realized that on your own! But there's more to it than that. If you tell a lie so big, so outlandish, instead of no one believing it, the nice stupid ponies will believe every word because they don't think such a huge lie could exist! But if you sprinkle some truth into those lies, people will assume it has to be totally real or totally false! But the real weapon is the truth itself. Ponies think because something is true, it can't be misleading at all. For instance.

'A girl is told Witch Weed will increase her magic ten fold, that is completely true. But no pony bothered to tell her that she'd have to take it constantly to keep that power, and that she'd get addicted to it. Or say, you tell ponies you saw Pinkie Pie, yes that Pinkie Pie, wonderful pony, running around, and with a knife. And you saw her cutting up Rainbow Dash in her basement, and was now going to make cup cakes with what was left over.

BUT! You didn't say you saw her running around WITH the knife, just that you saw her with a knife, and then saw her running around. You saw her in the kitchen with the knife cutting cake, and you saw her running around town SOMETIME. And she was cutting up Rainbow Dash, with the JOKES she was telling that were making Rainbow Dash laugh up a storm in the party they were having in her basement since the upstairs floor was reserved that day for a poetry recital, and she used the left over snacks in her latest cupcake experiments. You see now? You don't NEED to lie girl! You don't need to tell a single falsehood to implant the information YOU want into their little heads. And the best part is that it would get past a lie detection spell because nothing you said was actually false!

Sometimes, say things the right way and you don't need to do any twisting at all, just let the rumor mill churn out a nice big fat lie for you!

Also! If you say the truth and the whole truth, but say it in a completely sarcastic or unconvincing manner, ponies will assume you're lying and conclude the opposite without you having to do a thing! This gets even better when you just need to tell foals and teens NOT to do something and they'll do it before you have a chance to sit down!'

I absorbed all this information. I had known some of it, I grew up in the upper class after all, but all of this was so useful, and I hadn't even thought of it before! How come? It felt so obvious now!

'Another good trick is telling someone a nasty little truth they don't want to hear. It doesn't have to be false. It doesn't need to be incomplete. You don't even need to be lying! Let's say that rotten little yellow Earth Pony you hate so much accidentally broke the Pegasus' scooter and didn't tell her.'

I listen VERY eagerly.

'Let the little brat know what happened and that her 'friend' hid it from her. BOOM! Instant fight! Grab the popcorn and watch the fireworks! See?'

Suddenly I was whacked by the sickness again. The idea of ponies hurting because of me for something that had nothing to do with me. Seeing two friends, broken apart, who had been there for each other, who support each other, suddenly torn apart. A sheet of paper ripped in half with the edges bleeding. All because she didn't trust to tell her friend the truth from the beginning. What was this feeling? It wasn't sickness, what was it?

'Now, moving onto making someone think they deserve to be highly-LOOK OUT TIARA!'

A stallion's big strong forehooves grabbed me from behind and lifted me right off the street.

"I've been looking all over for you dear! Now come along it's time to go home and I don't want to hear any whining or screaming this time! Your mother is at home worried sick about you! Now come along with papa." I hear a voice behind me I don't recognize.

I look behind and I see the face of a unicorn stallion. He has a green hide, lighter green mane, and red eyes. He's dressed in a garish green suit. His cutie mark looks like a swinging pocket watch. He's a stranger.

I squirm and struggle in his grasp, he merely begins to trot in the opposite direction of where we've been. I scream and shout. Ponies look at him. He gives me an embarrassed look and shrugs. The ponies look away. "Help me!" I shouted. It's like they don't even hear me!

'He gave them an easy answer first! They won't listen to you like that Tiara!'

Where was he taking me? What was he going to do with me?! I couldn't break free!

'Don't panic!'

I panicked. My mind went blank for a moment.

He whispered in my ear.

"You'll make such a wonderful doll. Pretty, silent, and obedient. Don't worry. You'll be pretty forever. I'll wipe away all those painful and annoying memories. They'll be nothing except being a nice little doll for ponies to look at and play with."

Just be a pretty doll? No worries? No fears? Just the dance. Only the dance. Nothing more. Nothing less. No more confusion. Only the purity of the dance. And for so tiny a price, actually a gift, no more pain, no more memories.

"All hail the princess and her lady in waiting!" Silvery struck a regal pose.

"Hey! I'm always the princess!" I snapped at her.

"That's when we're at your house! Dad says a pony's home is their castle and this is my house so this is my castle so I'm princess!" Silvery grinned back at me.

I started feeling a bit dizzy. "Oh okay."

"Don't worry! Princess Silvery treats her subjects fairly and kindly. And she treats visiting princesses from other lands even better. So did you bring the lock picks?"

"Yeah."

"Cool! Let's get those cookies mom has hidden away!"

+++

"Hold on tight now!" Mommy said as I held onto the saddle she was wearing for dear life. We leapt right over the edge! All I could see anywhere was sky!

"Mommy! Mommy! We're flying!"

"Naw! Just jump good!... And here comes the fall!"

We splashed down into the body of water below us.

+++

"And that tis why, I do conclude,
that silver and diamonds together were the best viewed!'"

I bowed at the end of my poetry recital.

Papa stood on his rear legs and clapped smiling. "That was wonderful Tiara! Encore! You'll have a poetry cutie mark before you know it!"

I felt this strange warm fuzzy feeling inside hearing him say that.

I did wonder why all the other adults had chosen then to have their nap time.

+++

"It's too hard!" I cried. My hooves were red with the needle pricks and my tongue felt stung by hornets.

"No it isn't," Miss Rarity said. "You're still just learning."

"Easy for you to say! You have a magic horn!"

The white mare's eyes narrowed. "Is that so?"

The glow around her equipment vanished as it lowered to the table. And Miss Rarity began to handle them with her hooves and mouth!

"W-what are you doing?"

"You're right. You don't have telekinesis. You're an Earth pony, you feel and direct the flow of life through things. And I like to think art is life. If I'm to teach you, I have to play to your strengths, not mine. It wouldn't be very generous of me to do otherwise. Now let's start over."

NO! I didn't want to forget! I wanted to remember! "LET-ME-GOOO!"

"Now you be quiet before I spank your-"

"THIS STALLION IS NOT MY FATHER! I'M BEING KIDNAPPED!"

This did get everypony's attention. The adults began to slowly turn her heads at me.

"STOP IT! HE'S TOUCHING MY PLOT!" A big fat lie. Everypony believed it.

They were all crowding around him now. He stopped and began to looked panicked as his escape routes were cut off. I spotted some royal guards in gold armor beginning to get closer too, their eyes zeroed in on us.

'Get out of here Tiara! You can't risk getting caught by the guards! If they find out then your father will find out and take you away! Or the Alicorns will find out! And if the Alicorns find out, they'll make it so you won't be able to hear me! And you'll never ever be able to save your mother!'

Now that he's distracted, I kick the green unicorn in the back knee, he falls over, I then back kick him with both legs where all stallions hurt for good measure! I run for it, going between the legs of ponies and a couple donkeys as I trot with as much power as I have left, tapping into my reserves.

I run every random way I can think of, everything is a blur, I run through places adults can't fit. And when I can run no more, I fall to my rear knees panting, my heart hammering. I could hear my pulse in my ears.

'Good pony. Very brave pony. I'm very right to have you my pony,' The voice said in my head.

"T-thank you... That . . that was the first time you used my name I think."

'It was?' The voice sounded surprised, 'Hmmm. Interesting. You know my dear you remind me of, well, My Mother never cared much for me, but I did know one pony who certainly acted more like a mother to me than My Mother ever did. And she'd do anything for those she cared about. And before she met me, she spent her whole life whining about how worthless she was.'

"Your... your family?"

'I've had more than one actually. Long story. One I don't believe we have time for. The point is my dear, you remind me of her. And she is one of the few ponies who have earned my respect.'

"Thank you."

'Your father never did much for you did he? Abandoning your mother in that awful place. Humiliating you so awfully in front of your peers. Sleeping with those other mares. Such a pony doesn't deserve to be a father does he? Why don't you think of me as your papa from now on?'

"I... I... I don't know."

'Oh well my little pony. Think about it. Ahem. Now back to business. You looking the way you do has so far been very helpful to get to where we need to go. But now I think that it's going to become a hindrance. And you are seriously underdressed to be visiting my, er the Castle. We need to go fixing that, and I don't mean like they do with cats.'

"I don't have any money." As soon as I said those words, it was like a thunder clap. Since when do I not have money? No, all I ever had was my dad's money. Everypony just did everything for me.

I couldn't afford a bath. I looked at a large nearby fountain with a smiling hippocampus statue at the center with a pendant around its neck. Then I noticed the large signs in plain view you'd have to be blind to miss. 'No Public Bathing' 'Fillies Stay Away' 'Do Not Drink The Water' 'This Means You Applebloom.'

I startled at that last one. How did a filly who's spent her entire life on a farm and was for all realistic purposes doomed to work her entire life there and die and be buried there have more fame than me-?! The sickness again.

And there was an additional sign with the addendum, 'And Scootaloo. And Sweetie Belle.' And a hastily scrawled at the bottom, 'And Silver Spoon and Spike.'

My heart and brain were in a race to see which one could break faster. Why was Silver mentioned with them? Didn't she know she was better than... 'You're no better than a blank flank Silver Spoon!'

The sickness came overwhelmingly now! I shake all over! Ice forms in my heart and spreads to every inch! I fall on my sides, I feel like I'm dying. I'm shedding tears and I don't even know why! Everything was so confusing!

'Oh no you don't! Calm down! And I mean calm down! You are not going off the rails here! You don't fall into the abyss unless I let you! Now stop at once!'

Confusion. Nothing but confusion.

'Or maybe this was all you were all along! A one-dimensional bully, whose only reason for existing was to serve as a minor annoyance stepping-stone villain for this chapter of dear Applebloom's 'I Am So Great' auto-biography. Maybe I should go ask HER to-'

"NO! I'M NOT A PROP! I'M ME!" I shouted. The world started to fade back into focus again. In the mad house that was Canterlot. Earth ponies and pegasi acting like I've always been told unicorns act. Hard roads that hurt anypony who's not shoed. Everything so nice looking, and nopony stopping for a second to look at it all. Everypony is crazy.

'You're finally getting it my little pony. Now then. Don't worry. Just listen and let papa take care of everything. And we'll have you dressed up, and washed in no time. Just need to stop a good target and ah-ha, that'll do nicely. But then my dear, I have something very very important to tell you.' The voice said rather proudly.

And a minute and six seconds later the voice finished, 'And that my dear is how they made glue in the days of the three tribes.'

I hurled.

'You see? Defying the laws of nature isn't that hard. My little pony, you shall be my masterpiece.'

'What, what good does that do?' I asked in my head.

' My little pony, do you forget your lessons so quickly?'

"I dear say. Little filly. This is a fool's question. But are you alright?"

I was thrown for a loop as I rolled one eye to look up at a unicorn stallion with a really big horn. White hide, blue mane, mustache, monocle, blue eyes, three crowns for a cutie mark. Fancy tuxedo too.

Next to him was this model unicorn mare. You could tell she was a model from how skinny she was. What did models eat for breakfast? Air? She had a Fleur-de-Lis on her flanks, like that thing Applebloom got when her 'infect myself to give myself a cutie mark' scheme backfired.

She had a really pale white and pink mane and make up. She was naked. After seeing so many ponies dressed up, it was weird seeing a pony going around with nothing on like in Ponyville.

She said nothing, but did give me an appraising look but... she didn't look like she was judging me. She looked at me like I was a pony.

"I'm fine." I say almost like a reflex. Kinda weird how used to complaining I am.

"That is a very poor lie," The stallion said.

I felt a bit ashamed, yes, it was.

'Don't worry, my little pony, sometimes a poorly told lie attracts more sympathy than an expertly told one.'

"Where are your parents?" The mare asked holding her nose a bit.

I must have stank like a Diamond Dog. Miss Rarity didn't like them.

I struggled to think of what lie to use. "My mom's in the crazy house. And my great-greatpa helped found Ponyville where my mansion is."

The two looked at each other like I was crazy (that hurt). Then they looked back at me.

"What's your name then, er, miss?" The stallion asked a bit unsure.

"I'm Diamonds," I said.

"Very well Diamonds. I am Fancy Pants and she is Fleur-de-Lis. I'm sure this might sound rude to a pony of your position. But, you don't seem quite well, and perhaps you'd like a place to recover?"

I had a very powerful mental image flash in my mind. Of me being in the place with my mother.

I took a few steps back. "I'm not crazy." I couldn't keep the fear out of my voice.

"We never said you were. But you do look sick and you look slightly... disheveled. Would you care to spend a short afternoon with us? We had nothing planned."

'How did you know they wouldn't just throw money at my hooves and walk away or talk louder when they got near me?' I asked.

'I didn't. I figured they WOULD throw money at your hooves. Or offer you a free meal and wash you up first. And given who these two are, this one has a track record of taking ponies in Canterlot under his wing. It was a fair gamble. Now don't worry. The mental ward is outside Canterlot, so if they try something like that, I can help you much more directly than here. For now just go with them, 'Diamonds.' '

'Yes, fa-. Okay.'

I obey.

Episode: 57: "Mind Games Part 2"

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My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series Mind Games Part 2
By Alex Warlorn

You honestly find it a chore to get through these interviews with me don't you? Just ask the most minimalist questions and move on.

You really think I'm blind? Your body language, your eyes, you find me so categorically unlikable that you can't look at me for more than a little bit before you leave in a silent rage.

I can tell you're trying to write me off as sympathetic and I thank you for that. But for you I'm such an unlikable pony that you can't feel sympathy for and actually enjoy seeing me suffer. You, the pegasus mare with the broken nose, I heard you snicker every time I told you how the loss of my wife and child was killing me. You think I'm not watching you while we do these interviews?

I'm not even a beast like the tyrant or chaos monster. The first at least makes good tabloid material yes? And the second is so utterly evil that ponies are fascinated by it, they start to love to hate him. It's the same with every monster and tyrant throughout history. Ponies become enthralled by how deep their horridness goes trying to see how such creatures could exist from their comfort zone.

But I'm not even useful as raw material for Gabby Gums am I? I'm just so deplorable that I elicit disgust in me. No, you heard me correctly. What? I'm an honest business pony, did you expect me to lie about myself? Unlike you I don't have the option of walking out of the room and leaving me here.

After the dream day from Miss Fluttershy, I couldn't bear to look in the mirror. I had betrayed my wife. She was still somewhere in there after all, and I just hid away from her. I watched my princess disappear into the maze and I didn't even brave it to rescue her.

I'm just rotten. No grand awe inspiring scheme to turn the nar-, the unicorns and pegasi into Earth Ponies using some illegal forgotten magic that I offered up my child's blood for. No selling my soul to Dragon Queen Tiamat for power while laughing maniacally about it. I'm not even some corrupt business stallion with some nefarious scheme to scare ponies out of Ponyville so I can buy the land dirt cheap to build some expensive business the world doesn't need (I may be willing to wipe-out the competition, but I'm no cheater). No hidden white knight like Silver Tongue (bless his soul). I don't have the excuse of being traumatized like my wife did that day. I'm just rotten.

Yes, thank you little Earth filly. I have 'petted the pony' with my daughter and the Apples. But those all came down to self-interest didn't they?

I am the ultimate example of wanting things to stay the same, pony hell, I want things to go backwards so badly for my own, self-centered reasons. I suppose that makes me worse than how the tabloids have described Miss Fluttershy, she had an ancient evil enslaving her when she tried to reverse the flow of time and freeze it into her own personal perfect world. I have no excuse.

There is literally NOTHING about me that engenders even the slightest emotion other than disgust from you, and me. 'There is literally nothing in him that is likable,' you don't need to say it, your wings betray you and scream it with each twitch of your feathers. Reading a pegasus' wings was one of the tricks I've picked up in the business world.

Most of what I've talked about in our previous interviews referred to the past, how things used to be, and how much better something was than it is now, how things were. And what little I didn't speak that wasn't related to the past was my distaste for upsetting things as they are. That makes me a coward doesn't it? What else do you call a pony who doesn't want to face the day and just goes through it like an automaton? A pony who lives in the happy past because he's too afraid of the present without the courage to walk toward the future.

Nothing I do speaks highly of anything anypony else does, it's all about MY achievements and how things affect me.

I haven't wanted anything for anypony else, I've just wanted everything for myself. I am the ultimate Narcissist. Prince Blueblood has spent his entire life pampered like a pet, a bird in a gilded cage, what excuse do I have? It's always been about my wants and needs, never what anypony else wants.

The precious few interviews you've actually published show you've run into several other ponies with that trait, but I lack qualities that would earn sympathy or redemption.

I'm not worth your time, so why don't you just leave me to wallow in my own self-loathing? I believe your notes say, 'He deserves to fester alone and gray in a gray world as putrid as he is,' so would you kindly leave me in it. I'm just rotten, all the way through to my core.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Bullpucky.)

What?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): You poor black and white little pony. Now that you've gotten a taste of what it was like to be other pony-tribes with your wife for one day, you question the black of the other tribes, and so question your white. And instead of seeing shades of gray or the Rorschach that makes up all our souls, you declare yourself to be the black now that you see you are not white. Which is so much simpler, and easier.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Heh! Learning having wings doesn't make you evil or inferior must be a shocker eh?)

I've never considered Earth Ponies 'superior' to anypony! What my family has always wanted is to be treated equally! The narwhals in Canterlot have treated every member of my family like country bumpkins no matter how much we dress like them! Speak like them! Or act like them! What else could it be but the feathers and head pokers?!

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): But mister. There are lots of Earth Ponies who make up the biggies in Canterlot too! Don't you know that?)

I... I knew but... I always figured they acted better, or were just trying to fit in with the rest.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): News flash boyo! They're all 'trying to fit in with the rest!' When Rarity went to Canterlot and made that wonderful dress, she, a unicorn mind you, made a big splash by not pretending she didn't know her 'country bumpkin' friends! Most of those snobs don't care what species you are! They care that your well-off family's beginnings haven't been lost to time yet like theirs! And more importantly, they've made the right friends to be big names there. Something you, and your father were too busy playing the 'tragic oppressed minority' to even try! Believe it or not, there are actually some bigwigs in Canterlot who would gladly be your friend and shut up most of those snobs in a heartbeat if you weren't stuck thinking they hate your guts! And I know the unicorn with the biggest push in Canterlot would've! It's not just your family's past you're stuck in, you can add three thousand years ago to the list! Unicorns and pegasi stopped treating Earth ponies like serfs eons ago!)

You are NOT going to tell me a doorknob that I need to use my mouth to turn and a toothbrush that I need to sandwich between my hooves doesn't favor unicorns!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Yes. There are inconsiderate unicorn architects and carpenters who are so egocentric they don't bother to think that those without telekinesis have to end up 'tasting the doorknob.' That's carelessness and ignorance, not spite. The unicorns you're talking about are ghosts who don't know they're dead, not kings of society. And toothbrushes came into use in the forgotten Second Age, by Earth ponies, when in tribute to humans either through magic or genetics learned to grasp with their hooves. That talent or trait was lost when the world was killed.)

Huh-mons!? They're fiction! A fantasy!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Only on this world. Trust the words of this old nag. I know it's very hard for you to accept, but I actually do know more about this than you do. It's so easy isn't it? To just declare everything black and white? When you're the white there's no need to question yourself. When you're the black, there's no point in trying to improve yourself. But that is merely the easy answer, and the easiest answer is rarely the best one. The world isn't meant to be black and white!)

My heart twists and turns. What's the point of trying to find out what's right, when you always turn out to be wrong?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): The point is learning when you're proven wrong so you can BECOME right.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): By the way Mr. Woe-Is-Me, did you know that pony you hired to teach your daughter Equestria's 'real' history included in his lessons that mares are almost always evil nags?)

WHAT?! I never, I would never-I could never-that's-that's-!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): That is the reality of conspiracy theorists my poor little pony. They rarely perfectly align with each other. Did you not think to look in on the lessons even once? Or did you assume that as an Earth Pony, he was automatically good?)

It was like all my insides emptied out at once. Diamond Tiara... forgive me. My baby girl I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

(Interviewer's Personal Notes To Self (Unicorn): There has never been, or will be, anything quite as cruel as facing the mirror. Or as important.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Ummm. Maybe we should start again please?)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): We made a promise to our friends never to do that.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Oh no no no! I don't mean like that! I mean we start the interview over! Ahem! Mr. Onyx Tiara. When did you start believing all those nasty things your father and grandmother said about Unicorns and Pegasi?)

When did I start believing everything my father and grandmother said? I didn't care at first. One way or the other. I didn't even get a chance to play with pegasi or unicorns as a foal. And all the business I did was with the Apples or Silvers, my hired hooves did most of the interaction with our customers. Everything my father and grandmother told me was just white noise. Then my little princess was born. And I was suddenly scared, I didn't know if it was true or not, but I couldn't risk that it wasn't, I had to, for her world. I was scared she'd wake one day without us there to protect her, and she'll have lost everything she had earned because of the whims of somepony with more power than her.

When did I then begin to actually loathe the other tribes? I can't remember anymore. It just happened. I don't think I ever decided to.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth pony): That's really sad. You hate them and you can't even remember? Why does hate always end up having to do that? Make ponies forget?)

I suppose that's true, I can't even remember when my desire to protect my princess became utter hatred... Speaking of hatred, when I think about it, the more successful you get, the more others hate you for it. They've worked just as hard as you, maybe harder, so why aren't they as rich or richer than you? You have more than they do: therefore you must be a bad pony. You must be a bad pony who swindles your employees out of their pay and who overcharges for everything you sell. It doesn't matter how nice you try to be. It doesn't matter if you do acts of philanthropy or not. They've already made their decision in their minds what kind of pony you are, and anything you do they'll use any amount of backwards logic they need to justify their emotional state that they're disgusted by you.

They never stop to think that you might just be doing more successful work than they are or simply have a talent for it. That thought never crosses their minds.

The absolute worst part is, when they've already decided that you're a 'bad pony' not only do they see everything you do as proof you're a bad pony, they'll also believe any lie they're told about you because if you're a bad pony, you must be a completely awful pony. After all, they're disgusted by you, therefore, if you're even the tiniest bit sympathetic, those feelings might be wrong, and that of course is impossible. So no matter how big or ugly the lie, they'll believe it, because it helps justify their disgust towards you and thus can't be wrong.

What do you mean it's the same with the mares, tyrants, feathers dusters and narwhals-?! It's black and white thinking just like mine?!

...
...
...
...

And if I was king of the world, I'd be demonized for so much as breathing wrong too.

In modern times. A stallion who cares only about his family is seen as a throw back to when mares dominated all walks of life. But for me, even as I worked my family's business empire, I never wanted it to stop being about them. I suppose that makes me a throw back to stallion equality doesn't it? I didn't mind being hers. I didn't want to be anything but hers. Then she was gone. And the chaos monster teased me with a reminder of her. And she... I missed a chance to be with her.

Then I was reminded how truly wonderful it was to be with her, not just her image and voice, not just her manner and nuances, but her a creative and adventurous mare. We always meant to take a trip overseas, but we could never find the time. We were even going to go dragon watching but, never had the time. And one morning, there was suddenly no time left at all.

And yes, I was woken up to my betrayal. And the mares were surprised when I stopped bringing them to bed, and when I stopped trying to charm them, and when I rejected their advances. I am still a married stallion after all.

I suppose it's like you said...when I realized I wasn't as good as I believed I was, I let myself forget there was any good in me at all...

I think I need a lot of time to think. Wait, when did all the colors come back? Or maybe it was just me this whole time.

+++

I sat waist deep in water surrounded by a mountain of suds on all sides. The mare (not the one who had been with Fancy Pants) who washed me had to use the scrub brush to get the dirt and grime off me. She didn't seem to think it possible for dirt to be so deeply imbedded in somepony's fur. I didn't think it was possible.

"Hey! Watch it!" I said when I got soap in my eyes.

"Sorry." The housekeeper said politely. And that was it. No cowardly submissiveness, no looking in fear of me, but... she was still looking at me like I was a person.

Dad never treated the staff like they were furniture, nor did he ever really confide in them but he was always polite to them. Before... before she got sick, mom was maybe a little bit too friendly with the staff. I was the one who treated the servants like they were robots. After all, they were paid by my parents, that put them lower on the pecking order than me, so why shouldn't I? They weren't me so why should I care?

Just like those fancy ponies looked at me.

I stopped complaining.

I wondered what everypony else was doing.

Dad's still sleeping with those intruders. Mom's waiting patiently for me to visit her again. Those blanks, I bet they've blown up the town by now trying to get their cutie marks. Humph! I bet they held a 'good riddance' party when I left if... if they even noticed I was gone.

Silver Spoon... I don't know what she'd be doing right now. When we were together it was always about what I wanted to do and she was just... always there to support me. And I never even said thank you once.

Miss Rarity is... Miss Rarity is... she hates me now. What else would she?

'You don't have anypony to support you now dear, except me, my little pony. I guess that makes us family doesn't it? If father is really too much, then uncle can do instead.'

I shook a little.

"Are you cold?" The mare asked.

"It's nothing," I lied.

I think, 'Ponies will believe what they fear is real, or what they want to be real. And you said the right motivational lie will make somepony able to do almost anything. So how can I trust you?'

'You can't. There's no way you can possibly trust me. You're going along for the only reason anyone should: You don't have a choice. Or do you? And the fact I'm being honest about the fact that you can't trust me just goes to show that there's no loyalty between us to break. You want your mother cured, ugh, I mean sane. I want you to do something for me. Nothing else to it.

'We're both in this for our own selfish interests. We're not doing this out of kindness, we're not trying to make each other smile, and we certainly aren't best friends, we're simply doing this because it makes us both better off after. Sure, you can't be sure I'm not deceiving you, but I can't quite be sure it isn't the other way around, can I?

'Your family are business ponies. You know how such things work. And I'm being much more honest with you and more faithful than your father has ever been aren't I? Your mother doesn't deserve a rotten stallion like him. Does she? Or does she deserve to be with a stallion who obviously doesn't love her at all? Who'd abandon her? Betray her? Who'd replace her with a dozen fakes when he could have had the real deal? I'd say from pony standards such a stallion doesn't even deserve to be. '

I am really not used to crying, whenever I felt like it before, I just made someone else cry for me.

"Did you get soap in your eyes again Miss Diamonds?"

"N-no. It's okay."

The mare sighed as she continued to scrub. "It's not right for a filly to be alone."

'And whose fault is that my dear? Who made you all alone? Who was such a snot she could barely hold onto one friend? Oh wait, you're not alone, you have me! And I have you. So we still have each other. It works out in the end. Let uncle/papa take care of you.'

I didn't realize how dirty I was until I left a stain in the tub. I'd have noticed the water changing color, but there were way too many bubbles. The mare was surprised I was a pink. I'd almost forgotten I was pink!

'If you're going to get through Canterlot Castle, my dear. I think we best go over a few more lessons. I don't know which ones will be helpful, but that's the fun part isn't it? First, a powerful hidden secret that has eluded you your entire life. Your civilization has hardwired ponies to respond affirmatively to social niceties.'

Huh?

The voice sighed. 'Many ponies will get with the program if you simply ask nicely enough. Because it's how most ponies have been taught to respond, as long you don't phrase it as an order or command, they'll go along since their illusion of free will isn't being broken. Just make sure they think it was their choice. Also, if you slip a pony some salt-'

'-they get tipsy. They get more malleable. Some you can just tell there is salt in something and they'll act like idiots on their own. And the ones who don't know they're having salt aren't on guard and are easy to play. Oh and as a bonus, it's SO much fun to watch. Never try to out drink an Earth Pony.' I couldn't keep the pride out of my mind's voice, or my smirk.

'Erm. Yes. For a moment I forgot your raising environment.'

'So you're not perfect.'

'Moi? Not perfect? Perish the thought.'

The mare dried me off, I took my Tiara with me. The mare tried to take it. I'd sooner eat another timber wolf.

"Miss, with you being clean, it's not proper for it not to be clean too. Please?"

I reluctantly hand it over.

'You also need to learn my dear when these tricks are being used against you. For instance, as a bully I'm sure you know this one. But the best way to make a victim hurt more is to ask them why they made you hurt them. Make them feel responsible for their pain! Act like you're the one hurt when you do it! Ponies LOVE to feel in control of their own fate, but at the same time are terrified of choices. This little question plays on both. And any thoughts of retribution evaporate in their heads. Make them think you're their friend and thus wouldn't hurt them unless they'd done something wrong. You won't need strings.'

I was led into a dressing room with a walk-in closet. I found a small series of dresses already laid out for me. I wondered what this couple was even doing with these dresses. Did they have a filly of their own? With a body that frail, the mare didn't look capable of carrying a foal. I passed over the two that looked dated and focused on the three that were more appealing. The mare left me to make my choice and to clean my tiara.

'Another important detail my dear. If you accidentally trip someone, and they dislike you, they'll assume you did so on purpose. But if they're friendly or don't know you, and you 'accidentally' trip them, and you apologize nicely, they'll assume it was a accident. Use assumptions to your advantage my little pony!'

I shuddered almost at that last one.

"Are you sure you're not sick Diamonds?" The mare asked in a friendly tone.

"Just a bit chilly."

"Well, best you get decent then."

Decent? Ponies don't normally wear clothes.

'That's in Ponyville.'

Oh.

'That was an assumption right there. That all ponies act like they do in Ponyville. And above all remember, ponies judge the messenger! Not the message! A pony with enough charisma could convince a herd to jump over a cliff! Being a little girl, in a fresh environment like this, ponies will assume because you're a filly that you can't be lying out of hoof. And if someone asks if you're acting strangely, you can just say it's for a school project! I'd suggest carrying a clipboard but that would make you look more adorable than official. Ponies love it, but they aren't likely to reactively obey you.'

I eventually settled on a pink and violet dress that complimented my natural colors. It had a nice purple ribbon that went all the way around the collar. And had three pieces of blue diamond shaped costume jewelry along the flanks that reminded me of... The skirt had a good deal of ruffles and hid my cutie mark. It actually looked better than the matching pair I had worn to my Cute-Ceañera with... Why was everything reminding me of things I didn't want to think about-?!

'Pink elephants my dear. The more you try NOT to think of something, the more you will think about it. A simple trick of the brain that houses your soul. There are certain things I sincerely wish I could forget. Unfortunately, you can't just sell memories on ebray, I've tried.'

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had always looked pretty. No pony dared deny that. But it felt strangely relieving to see my pretty face in the mirror looking back at me than some ugly urchin who had no business uglying up a mirror.

I look beautiful again. Looking right out of the fairytale I belonged in. Just like my last birthday. My birthday. I had missed my birthday. I was a year older, and I had missed the day that was always my day. No cake. No presents. No party. No weird feeling from the random visit by Pinkie Pie. It was gone.

I always invited everypony in my class. I didn't care they were there for the party and not me. Me and Sil-Silver Spoon, we were princesses and we had our royal subjects. That's what mattered, right?

Something else floated to the surface: I wasn't there to visit mom on my birthday like I promised.

'Mom I promise, my birthday will be when I make you well again.'

"Here's your tiara Diamonds." The mare said coming back in.

I startled. She hadn't stolen it? It would have been worth more bits than she made in two months!

She gently placed it on top of my head and I looked back. Of course I looked pretty in it, wearing jewelry was all was I good for. I looked it over closely to make sure it was my real one and not a fake. It was real...she really hadn't stolen it?

"There! Now you look civil if I dare say so myself! It wasn't proper for a poor filly to go around half-naked through Canterlot."

I merely nodded.

"Uh, Miss?"

"Yes dear?"

"What's your name?"

The mare curtsied. "Straight Lace dear."

"T-thank you miss, Miss Straight Lace."

'Now listen closely my dear.' The voice said almost in a whispering tone. 'This is the most important lesson I can give you. And it's also the reason that soldiers who guard gates are technically given rank above a general. If you make yourself look, act, and sound official enough the average pony will do whatever you tell them. But far more importantly, if you LOOK LIKE you belong where you are then almost no pony is going to question what you're doing. They're too polite to! And they don't want to risk humiliating themselves if they're wrong. It also works if you pretend to know someone important who 'ordered' you to be there, and if they question it, pretend you're too important to wait and add they may get in trouble if they do. Most ponies will crumble before you can trot a few paces.'

I nodded as Straight Lace led me from the dressing room down the hallway. Everything was so clean. And the portraits on the walls showed Fancy Pants at different places around the world. There wasn't any of the garish modern art I normally saw in elitist ponies' houses. Everything was painted white with a soft wooden floor that likely had to be polished daily to keep the dents out of it. It still felt a lot better on my hooves than Canterlot's streets.

"I'm sorry for you not being able to be shoed miss, but you know that sort of thing should be left to the professionals."

I almost tripped at those words. I was reminded of when mom had tried to fix some of the plumbing in the kitchen rather than call a plumber. Dad politely called one to 'help her through it' before we ended up with an indoor swimming pool. And once when I was over at Silver Spoon's, when their shower exploded, Silver Platter used her umbrella as a shield for her face and yelled at the servants "DO SOMETHING!" as if they'd magically earn plumbing cutie marks by her shouting.

Elitist ponies tended to waste money where they could, and were uptight with bits where they shouldn't, it was the way things worked. But these servants actually left professional work to the professionals-?! It was unheard of.

'So the common sense, becomes nonsense! And the nonsense common sense! It's wonderful! You know I'm starting to like this city! I've given you every real weapon in my arsenal dear. Now let's see if you can put them to good use and enter the Alicorn's den. Unless you're scared of course.'

'I'm not scared!' I thought at the voice. 'But how can I get into Canterlot Castle?'

'Remember what I said about looking like you belong there? Let me tell you a story my dear. Once upon a time, a powerful magician unicorn created a collection of powerful defensive spells around his library, confident that his preparation made it impervious to any form of magical assault. The magician then challenged a friend of his to test these defenses. The friend took up the challenge: he dressed up as a janitor, bluffed his way past the guards, and walked out with the most important books from the library.'

I giggled at that one.

"Nice to see you in good spirits Diamonds," Straight Lace said with a smile.

I nodded without thinking, it felt good to laugh.

+++++

"So how have you been Silver Axe, er, Silver Tongue? It's been too long since we chatted, hasn't it?"

"Richy you don't talk to me in months and suddenly you call me over for a chit-chat just stallion to stallion over cider? You've got to admit that is rather strange, er, surprising."

"... I'll admit after Diamond vanished and nopony was able to find her, I, I shut myself in. No trace of her. Anywhere. She had just fell through a crack and disappeared... I just couldn't face the world anymore... "

"And all you had left was the random mare of the week who happened to bare a passing resemblance to your wife?... Richy, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that!"

"It's okay Silver. I deserve it."

I could tell he wanted to say 'yes you did' but didn't want to say it out loud.

The silence is like a bad taste in the air. We used to love to talk. We chatted so much some foals as colts asked if we were fillies. Heh. we were called 'those two colts' by just about everypony.

As colts he was too skinny and I was too pudgy for athletics. For me that changed when Golden Skates taught me to care about myself. I know my fellow stallions would hate me for saying this, but I'd rather not think of how my life would have been if I had never met her. I don't know if this life would have been worth living without her. The way I'd been heading, I may not have lived this long if she hadn't taught me to take better care of my body.

"I've stopped seeing them," I said finally after the long uncomfortable silence.

"Hm?" Silver Tongue looked at me.

"Those ponies who can't hold a candle to the most beautiful mare in the world? I've stopped seeing them. Any of them. All of them." The worst part still was, when she found me, surrounded by replicas of her, on the day of the chaos monster, she didn't hesitate to ask to join in. She didn't even ask me to dismiss the others, she just wanted to be with me and I dismissed her. "I'm done with them."

Silver Tongue pushed up on his glasses. Sweeping that ghostly white mane out of his eyes.
"Heh. So you've finally dragged yourself out of the muck eh?"

"I won't be that until I'm hugging Diamond again. I only just realized I was drowning in a sea of Smooze."

"I still say you've gotten a hoof out at least." Silver downed the rest of his cup of cider in one gulp. "You know it's funny, my wife was, is, the most cultured and intelligent mare I know. It was only after we married did I learn she thought I had married her for her looks. And after she gave birth to Spoon she thought I'd leave her for her looks. She was worried after we had Little Spoon that I'd try to find a nicer younger trophy wife."

"You've told me before."

"Yes I have. And no matter how many times I tell her that I love her for her grace and her mind there's still that tiny black bug in the back of her brain whispering to her that I'm lying and just being polite and that sooner or later I'll leave her when a prettier mare catches my eye. And I always wondered, how can she not know that I love her? Didn't I show it enough?

"Then the chaos monster happened. And I realized what was worse. Silver Spoon had no idea we loved her! It was always just an accepted fact to me. The most I had spoken to her, the longest I had spent with her, was when I was trying to kill her and stuff her when that chimera-thing got its claws in me. Never getting in trouble, best friends with my best friend's daughter, a beautiful cutie mark, intelligent, and polite, I never had a need to talk to her, she did perfectly well on her own.

"Silver Platter. Silver Spoon. I had never bothered to tell them that I loved them. I thought it was obvious. I thought it went without saying. I was dead wrong. The only time she had proof I felt anything for her was... was when I was that thing's puppet and made her a bleeding, battered mess on the living room floor. It was only by some miracle that one of my staff had training as a nurse that my poor baby didn't bleed to death before the doctors got to her! And suddenly not only was my wife scared I'd leave her, -something that monster made even worse- my own daughter was terrified of me! As for my best friend, he holds a dinner party to try and restore a sense of sanity, and he throws a guest out a second-story window when a guest casually chats how my best friend's wife was a creation of the chaos monster."

"I am not sorry for that."

"And I don't blame you, what they said was worse than Gabby Gums. The point is after that I've barely seen you. I know you were still seeing the Apples and that you were still going out. But you didn't visit once or send one invite, I guess it's my fault too for not coming right to see you, but I had my own problems to worry about. My wife's fear of old age hitting pathological levels, and my daughter thinking I was just waiting for the right chance to kill her.

"And I could barely even be in the same room as my own namesake. Just my own name made me sick to my stomach. And honestly, I was scared of myself." Silver's lip quivered. "It was my own foal Richy! I should have been able to stop myself! I should have been able to resist it. But I was it! I wanted to murder my own baby! I did it with a smile! She was so scared! Me? I was happy. 'A real father would have been able to fight back!' I thought. 'What kind of monster am I?' I asked.

"... The psychologists were able to help Silver Platter realize she wasn't elderly and that she was still beautiful with some self confidence lessons ... And they helped me realize that I wasn't a danger to anypony, and I wasn't it. A monster might feel regret, but it wouldn't act on it. And the real me would never hurt Silver Spoon or mindlessly ignore Silver Platter." I was happy to see him calm down.

"But Silver Spoon wouldn't even listen to the doctors we had group therapy with. And she ignored the school councilor. I didn't change my name for myself Richy. I changed it for her. THEN, I found your child had hurt my baby girl's feelings!"

I was surprised at myself when I didn't startle at his change in tone. "I remember when you came over. I had just found out that my little princess was acting at school like the elitist monsters I had spent my entire life loathing.

"Right after Gabby Gums ended that mail Pegasus with the strange eyes came and wanted to chew out Diamond for bullying her daughter. I let her.

"Turned out she had overreacted because Diamond's reputation as a bully preceded her, so she assumed Diamond had been the one bullying her filly from the beginning after a one-sided scuffle. Turned out the real little thugs don't go to her school. She sent an apology letter with a muffin, too late for Diamond to ever see it.

"But Silver, was Diamond so bad that she had that kind of reputation even among the other parents? Was I the only pony in Ponyville that was just finding out what my own daughter was like at school?"

"You might have known before that if you had gone to her Cute-Ceañera."

"Golden Tiara's breakdown had hit critical by that point. And Diamond wanted her party at Sugar Cube Corner. No if's, and's, or buts."

"And you just let her have it."

"It was her day. She had a right to want it. I thought she'd want to be the star of the show."

"Without the two most important members of the audience there?"

"I was worried what Golden Tiara might do in a place that . . chaotic, at a party she couldn't have complete control over. Do you have any idea how much it hurt that I wasn't there with her? And looking back, I'm fairly certain it hurt Golden Tiara worse. We actually threw a family party for her after she had the one with her friends, but Diamond was sullen through the whole thing."

"And if you had been there, you might have seen the little monster your daughter was-"

"DIAMOND IS NOT A MONSTER!"

"... Okay, that was out of line. I apologize Richy... but I never got an apology from you about what your child did to Silver Spoon."

"I wasn't the pony who needed to apologize. And... I was distracted."

"You mean seeing mares who bore a passing resemblance to your wife, mounting them, and then them leaving when you found out they weren't perfect copies."

"Yes."

"Tell me. Were you worried I'd call you out on it? That I'd tell you to stop? That I'd say that there was no way a friend of mine could do this to his wife?"

"... I honestly don't know."

"Richy, to be honest, let me share something with you. There was a wall of fogged glass between Spoon and me. Platter kept dotting on her, telling her how to be a lady, how to be pretty, even telling her not to judge me for what I did. I think she barely heard her. I melted down our ancestral spoon-axe into silver spoons as gifts for her and she still looked at me like a deer in the torch lights."

"Then she had to go and make friends with three random fillies at school. Silver Platter figured she was just trying to create a replacement for Diamond Tiara. And to be frank, I was worried about the same. But you know what? She spent the entire Gaia Festival with them, and she honestly seemed to be in better spirits when we brought her home. One of them even had the common sense to shut-up her friends before they could get on Platter's bad side.

"Then, just a couple days later, she called to me when she came home! It was evening, and sadly, I was getting used to her not being at home, but Richy, she actually called out to me when she got home! Normally, she looked at me uneasily when I went to her at the front door! But she now looked... almost ashamed, and she hugged me! I didn't ask her to! She wasn't expecting me to want it! She hugged me by her own choice! I was startled but I managed to hug her back somehow! And she told me she was sorry Richy! After how much I had hurt her! After I almost killed her! She told me she was the one who was sorry! I was shocked at first! But then I was so happy! I finally had her back! Of course I asked her what happened! She told me her new friends had made her realize how important I and Silver Platter are to her. And she... she confessed some of the things she had done to them with Tiara before they broke up. That these were fillies she had tried to hurt. She didn't try to make up excuses. She was willing to accept her punishment. My... my Silver Spoon had the courage to face what she did.

"Richy what are those fillies? No cutie marks. Half the town knows they just cause trouble! Yes those fillies. But they go and do in a few days what paid professionals weren't able to do in months with an enemy! They are impossible!"

"Those fillies? You mean little Applebloom and her friends?"

"Yes those fillies. They never do anything constructive together and they made a miracle happen! Maybe friendship is magic after all."

"Incredible. I wish they could have worked their magic on Diamond Tiara then."

"So do I Richy."

"You think they'd have figured out what their special traits were by now with the passion they put into things... " I actually laugh. "Before they blow up the town."

"Don't judge them too harshly Richy. Remember how long it took me to realize my cutie mark. First I figured my special talent might have been archery. My dad's behind was never the same again and I wasn't allowed within ten hooves of a bow again. Then I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't have the hooves or mouth for it. And don't get me started when I tried to be a monster hunter. I think my dad loathed it when I did such a stereotypical stallion thing like having a stint as one of the royal guards."

I was now happy his tour of service had run its course by the time Diamond was born. Still, that reminded me of something... of my conversation with you all before...

"You know, I'd almost forgotten that you'd been able to get into the Royal Guards, I kept convincing myself the unicorns wouldn't allow an Earth Pony into it for fear of giving one too much power."

"You'd be surprised how many there actually were, Richy, I was far from the only one. It's just you see the pegasi the most, since they're also the ones who pull the Princesses' chariots. The Earth Ponies and Unicorns mainly have other roles in the palace. Earth Ponies are actually given important bodyguard positions thanks to our strength. I even guarded her bedroom door once."

And then I just couldn't keep it to myself any longer.

"... Axe, uge, I'm sorry Silvery. But all those times I've talked about the Unicorns and the Pegasi looking down on us like we were serfs... I've... begun to think... that maybe... "

"Maybe what?"

"Maybe... they, we... "

"Richy just say it."

"That they're... they're... we're... I think maybe I was wrong."

"Oh? Wrong about what?" I could tell he was barely containing a grin.

"That feather dusters and narwhals aren't automatically part of the elites who treat the less fortunate ponies like dirt. And that there are Earth Ponies who are ."

"Oh? What about the Tyrant?"

"Maybe I have been too harsh. If I can be demonized for simply being a successful business pony, maybe I'm guilty of doing the same to the Princesses. If Princess Luna gave Golden peaceful dreams I'm in her debt. But I still haven't forgiven them for not healing Golden."

Silver Tongue poured himself another glass of cider and this time just took a gulp then clapped at me. "Well at least that's a start!"

"Silver?"

"It's about time you woke up, Richy, I was getting scared."

"But you, we, all those time I talked about it-"

"What was I supposed to say? I didn't want to lose our friendship Richy. Because I knew no matter what you thought you did, you were a good pony. I just smiled and nodded, and told Silver Spoon to do the same and just pretend to be listening. Now I'd be lying if I said Silver Platter wasn't into the whole 'Earth Pony Pride' thing, but I don't think she believes in Unicorn overlords. I hope. I really need to get to know my own family better."

I was flabbergasted. "But why? If you didn't believe it, then why would you pretend you did?"

"Because we're friends Richy. We don't have to perfectly agree with everything. You didn't want to have Unicorn's horns chopped off or Pegasi's wings clipped or the hundred other horror stories I've been told about ponies who adopt ideas like yours. I'm happy you never fell that far and I thank Princess Luna for that."

"And you didn't say anything all this time?"

"Would you have listened? Or would you just have thought I'd been fooled by lies? Even though I'd been in the Royal Guard and stayed in private areas with the Princess, would you believe me if I'd told you I'd never seen her send one pony to the moon? I saw her each night looking repentant at the Mare In the Moon. Would you think I was a puppet if I told you Princess Celestia gave me a fraction of her essence that she took back when my tour of duty ended? Even if I showed you how much of the booklet was dedicated to just making sure I knew what I was accepting?"

"I don't know. I thought that the white fur was just the uniform."

"And I was scared what you'd do if you found out differently ... And I'm happy by the way."

"Eh?"

"You asked how I was. I'm happy. My daughter loves me again. I'm finally telling her that I love her too. My wife doesn't think she needs plastic surgery anymore. I'm free of my devils. And my best friend has woke up from a nightmare. Yes I'm happy."

"The nightmare isn't over until I've found both my princesses." Who knew what Pony Hell my daughter was in.

++++

I was in Pony Heaven. No using leaves and grass as toilet paper. No wild grass for food. No shivering to sleep under the indifferent stars. No being scared to pieces by every random noise with the voice telling me I was being a scaredy-pony. No having to hide from other ponies. And the ponies paid attention to me!

Sitting at a table with four forks and two knives and three spoons. A perfectly folded napkin. Dressed up fancy. This is where I belonged. The background music was a nice touch too.

I had never noticed how absolutely wonderful tasting real food could be. Personally I found a lot of high class food tasted so awful I wondered why high class ponies even ate it. But now, but now I felt like I was eating cupcakes (and I had one of those too!)! I almost ate like a pig, but I kept my manners. It was a lot better than having to eat a Timber Wolf.

The voices were strangely silent during the whole thing. That scared me a little bit, but I don't know why.

So did I feel good? I felt wonderful!

I felt like I was back home.

As Fancy Pants kept putting food in me I had a brief image of the story of two ponies lost in the woods who were fattened up by an old witch mare who wanted to eat them. But at this point I was too hungry to care. Besides, if those two dumb foals could turn the tables on her, I'm sure me and my... partner could do the same. As I imagined the image of the witch stuffed in her own oven, I think I heard the voice chuckle, but I'm not sure.

I looked at Fancy Pants and his wife whenever they took their attention from me on to each other. The way they looked at each other...It was like how mom and dad used to look at each other...I shake the thought from my mind and get back to the food.

The texture, the flavors, it made me feel safe somehow.

Straight Lace had stopped serving and removing plates and Fancy Pants had dismissed her. I felt an emotion when she left the dining room. It felt like a mild version of the sickness.

Finally stuffed, my host asked, "I take the food was to your full delight?"

"Yes," My mouth said before I could think of some tiny negative to slip in. "Thank you very much." I hear myself say next.

Since when did I say thank you to anypony?

'Did you do that?' I asked the voice.

'Huh? Do what?' It asked, it honestly sounded bored to tears.

'Make me say 'thanks?''

'Filly, if I could make you do anything, do you think I'd be wasting my time giving you instructions? I certainly wouldn't be wasting my time with deals.'

Fleur-de-Lis said, "Well you were certainly hungry. How long has it been since you had a decent meal?"

"A really long time," I didn't give details that they wouldn't believe.

"Did you love your mother?" Fleur-de-Lis asked politely.

"Of course I love my mother," I said without thinking.

"so how long has it been since you ran away from home?" Fancy Pants asked politely putting his chin to his hooves on the table.

"I didn't run away. I don't have anypony to run away from. I'm alone. I don't have anypony." Dangit a wave of the sickness again!

Fancy Pants sighed, shaking his head, "My dear Diamonds, I have never been so impressed, or so sad to see a filly so young so good at lying."

I startled.

"I am not blind. You used the proper forks and knives for the meal. You didn't once hesitate. Your mannerism betrayed you, they were hammered into you, not given as a crash course. You're clearly upper class.

"That you didn't react to me introducing myself or seeing my face, even though I'm called 'the most important pony in Canterlot,' equals you're not from here.

"Your dialect is also local, meaning you didn't come here from that far away. And I've personally met several ponies trying to copy it, for various reasons, and you lack the accent such a pony would possess.

"You've lived a sheltered life. You weren't suspicious of two adults offering you free things. Though that could have just meant in your condition you were desperate enough to accept any help.

"Your tiara is not exactly beggar material your reaction to having it taken from you for a bit Straight Lace said -I ordered her to tell me- by the way, wasn't the reaction a thief would give in a house full of trinkets she could steal to replace something she stole.

"And you didn't act overwhelmed at the inside of my home meaning you've been in places like this before but you weren't focused on the potential value of small items.

"So your tiara was something you were given by somepony. And I'd guess you haven't been without a caretaker long enough to hunger and desperation to override emotional attachment. Or you would have sold it. Either that or its sentimental value to you is beyond measure, meaning it was given to you by someone very close to you.

"Your family or legal guardians are still alive or you would have been found and taken into state care by now. Celestia made it illegal for families to give up their children centuries ago when she found out some were selling their foals into servitude. And you weren't hesitant to eat what was in front of you, but you weren't eating like a pig at the trough, meaning you didn't come from a family with too many mouths to feed.

"You have your cutie mark, and if you're not a thief then it's unlikely it's for being a jewel thief which implies you've been in an environment where you've had a chance to discover yourself rather than focus on surviving day to day, implying it wasn't completely horrible whatever it was.

"In other words, you're a high class filly who ran away a relatively short time ago from somewhere other than Canterlot and it wasn't a completely destructive environment. And you said 'love your mother' present tense. Meaning she's still alive and likely worried about you."

"Mom never worries anymore since she got sick." I gasped and covered my mouth.

'Little filly. You have all the cunning of a timber wolf, that slip up does have its uses, but you love hearing yourself talk way too much!'

Fleur-de-Lis looked at Fancy Pants and left the table.

"So your mother is ill. Did you come all this way thinking Princess Celestia's magic can cure any illness and your father said it didn't work that way?"

"No dad already tried that with both Princesses... "

'Filly! Watch what you're saying! You're handing all the pieces to a master puzzle solver! If you say too much you'll be in a chariot back to Ponyville before you know it! And don't bet on ever being able to get this close to your goal again! And you can sit back, and watch while your mother continues to rot in that mental ward, all because of you! '

"No!"

"No what?"

"No. My parents don't want me anymore."

"Is that so?"

"Dad just sees mare after mare after mare who looks like mom. I bet it won't be long before he starts to think I'd make a good replacement."

Fancy Pants startled at that last one.

'Very good my little pony. You're actually learning. Say a horrid enough lie about someone, and watch ponies' reason evaporate. Try letting the waterworks go, that'll really sell it!'

"I see... If your father is that bad. Maybe you should tell me who he is. In case he begins to do that to other fillies."

I gritted my teeth. The wave of sickness came again and when I began to think 'they're not me, they don't matter.' But-but why did that filly who handed me the card and Silver Spoon keep popping up my head?!

'Rule of a good liar filly. Don't get too caught up in your own lie. Only get into character enough to not ruin the act.'

"N-no no. He's only interested in ponies who look like my mother."

"And what does she look like?"

"She looks like, like me a lot. T-that's why I'm scared."

'Filly. You need to get out of here and fast. But not in a way that'll compromise you any more than you just did! Stupid pony! Use your head! Use your head! You must bloody WANT your mother to stay crazy AND your father to just keep seeing fakes of her AND I guess you never really did love anyone but yourself. Then again, isn't that what your mother taught you? Love yourself? Love only yourself? Look out only for yourself?'

MY head spun. It had been so long since mother had said those words to me that shaped everything. That felt distant now, foggy, incomplete. Like I was missing important parts.

'Filly. I believe it's about time you woke up to reality.'

++++

I stood among the adults, as they spoke to each other like I wasn't even there, like I wasn't a pony. Why did they all have blue eyes?

They were all so tall. The room was so big. Why was everything so confusing?

"What an incompetent and slow foal! In the days of the wandering herds she'd have been taken away from the herd and put out of her misery!"

"Her mother was clearly bad news. And that makes her a bad seed. If you ask me you should go and find a new mate, then drown this one."

The mansion was boarded up. The gardens were dying. The servants had all left. All our furniture had already been sold off or taken away. It was snowing, and snowing hard, like the pegasi wanted to dump an extra bunch on us.

Dad stood like a statue or a zombie, just staring at the house like it was a big painting or something. Snow was getting on him. Like he was broken inside, it reminded me of when they took mom away.

Silver Spoon looked at me. She looked through me. Her eyes were blue, just like mine. That wasn't right. But... the cold bit at me, and I felt like there was an invisible chasm between us.

"Silver Spoon?"

"Sorry Tiara. Rich ponies can't be seen with dirt poor ponies. Sorry. That's the way things are. I can't be around you anymore."

"But-but we're friends!"

"We were friends because both our parents were rich. It's why we became friends, it's why we stayed friends. Now that that isn't true anymore, we can't be friends anymore. That simple. Bye." She turned around and trotted away.

"SILVER!" I put a hoof to her shoulder. She shrugged it off. She didn't look back.

+++

I was back at the table, and I realized it hadn't been real... there were still tears in my eyes.

None of that ever happened!

'But it COULD have happened, it WOULD have happened.'

No it wouldn't!

'Oh tell me what was WRONG with those memories. Did anypony act out of character, did they NOT act like the ponies you know? Search your feelings you know it to be true. What detail was wrong? What action was wrong? How could they have not acted that way?'

'But they didn't!' Why did I sound so pathetic? So . . whinny?

There was something wrong with Silver's eyes... something was missing. That WASN'T Silver Spoon!

The voice stopped, like a dragon taking in breath before it melted your face off. The voice's tone reminded me of the snow storm.

'My little pony. Those scenarios, those ponies, everything you heard, they came from you. They were fashioned by you. I simply sponsored the production. If there was anything off, it's because you don't understand something about your friends and family.

B-but how would I know something was missing if I-

'Just because you don't comprehend something doesn't mean you can't tell it's missing, you can't understand it enough to know what's missing to fill in the hole. Believe me, my little pony, I know how you feel, we're alike that way, we see something in everypony else's eyes that we just can't seem to understand, trying to grasp smoke as it taunts us and waves itself in our faces. Something invisible like a ghost in the fog we keep running towards but just laughs and vanishes when we try to touch it. Trust me, my little pony, you're better off without it, I know I am. Learn to ignore it, and it'll eventually stop baiting you and you can move on. I know I did.'

I wilted inside at that.

'I reiterate, those scenarios were born from your memories and experiences my dear, not mine. The only way those scenes could exist in the first place is because you believed they could. How about a real memory this time?'

++++

I was home from school early. Miss Cheerilee told us what chapters to read and what chapters the next test would be on. I wanted to surprise dad.

That's when I heard a pony's voice. I recognized it as one of mom's doctors. Was mom well again? I snuck to the edge of living room door and listened in. I may not be a narwhal with a fancy eavesdropping spell, but I still knew a thing or two about it.

"If you ask me, perhaps your wife's condition is genetic. If such is the case, then I suggest you be prepared for when her child begins to suffer such, episodes."

What?

"I see." I heard my father say calmly.

I ran to my room and locked the door, took my pillow, hid under the bed, and cried myself to sleep.

"Wake up-up-up filly it's time for the morning bath! Have to do it quick or the orderlies will-will-will do it for you!"

"Mom?!"

"Yes-yes-yes dear. Who else would it be-be-be?"

"What's going on?!"

"Well, it's morning-morning-morning, and the doctors might not give us breakfast if we're not good-good-goood ponies."

I looked around, this wasn't my ceiling, this wasn't my room. "What am I doing here!?"

"What? My prince said we-we-we get to spend as much time together as we want-want-want now! Isn't that greeeeeat-?!"

I tried to trot away but I fell on my back, my legs were tied up! I saw letters and numbers on a calendar on the wall jump around.

The buttons on the walls moved like bugs. Everything was twisted about wrong...!

"What's wrong with everything!"

Nothing made sense!

Mom shoved her muzzle in my eye grinning. "Wrong? Nothing's wrong-wrong-wrong dear. Maybe it's just you-you-you. This IS a loooony bin after all. Just the place for yoooou."

"Stop!"

I gasped awake! Awake! All a dream. I looked around.

My forelegs were in a straight jacket! It wasn't a nightmare! No no no no! No please! Please no! Anything but this please! Being with Silver Spoon, being with dad, it was all a dream-?! No-oh-oh!

I bumped my head under my bed and yelped out, scared the orderlies would come in and hurt me for making noise! I blinked away tears and noticed my 'straight jacket' was only as big as my, my pillow. I had ended up with my front hooves inside my pillow case.

I looked around. Dark, but my nightlight showed this was my room. My room!

I scurried out from under my bed to my hill of stuffed animals and placed them around me in circles facing outward. I hugged a silvery pony rag doll as my body guard, she'd protect me. "All of you guys, please, guard your princess tonight, please?" I whispered to my soft toys as I curled in a ball in the center of their defending rings. "I'm, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy, I'm not crazy. I'm not, right Silver Spoon?"

++++

'W-What was the point of that?!'

'Sadly I must concede there was a point, boring isn't it? To remind you that in your heart of hearts you know you're alone. Friends are fair weather creatures and most adults see their foals just as a way to cheat death. You knew all this already, but you were in need of a refresher. You were beginning to forget who you were, and we can't have that, now can we? Not yet anyway, I still need your help after all, and so does your mother.'

Forget who I was? Who was I anyway? I had memories and a name, but was I a good filly? A bad filly? A nice filly? A mean filly? None of the answers felt right anymore. Nothing made sense. Everything kept getting so confusing.

To Be Continued...

Episode 58: "Mind Games Part 3"

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My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
POV Series Mind Games Part 3

"My dear can you hear me?"

"Huh, what?" I looked up at Fancy Pants, I was still in the dining room, I was still in my chair. The unicorn looked at me in concern.

"I think you might need a doctor. You went completely catatonic."

"N-no! I'm fine! I was just remembering some things."

"... Then those were very powerful memories. You were crying. What was it you were remembering?"

"How, I'm like my mom."

"How are you like her?"

"That I'm gonna get sick too no matter what."

"I seriously doubt that my dear." He said kindly with odd mix of sternness. When had I felt this before? "Bloodlines don't determine a pony. Princess Celestia would never give that destiny to any pony."

I actually heard the voice growl. It sounded, jealous?

'Will you stop that already MY little pony? You might as well give him your real name, address, and tie yourself up while you're at it! Can't you see already? He says he's 'the most important pony in Canterlot' which means he knows how to play the game! You're hoofing him information without a first thought, let alone a second! The longer your stay here, the more any secrets you have left are going to be laid open without you even seeing you gave him the combination to the safe! You need to get out of here! Or everything will have been for nothing!'

"Can I use the little fillies' room?"

I think I heard the voice actually smack itself in the face.

"Alright. Down the hall, second door on the left."

I nodded and hurried along. As good luck would have it, the bathroom did have a window. On the second floor. With bars on the window.

Okay. No problem. Mom's gotten out of that place lots of times and that place was built to keep her inside! Then rebuilt to make sure, but she still got out!

How did mom do it? Oh right. She moved her bones about. How did she do that?

'Please don't try my dear. I'd rather you not pass out from the pain. They'd find you and in the hospital your father would find you before you know it.'

But I had to try something! This was gonna be the one real chance I'd have to be alone. And the voice was right, there was no telling if they'd let me go now. If I was to get away it had to be now! I didn't hate Mr. Fancy Pants, but I had to keep going.

I don't hate Miss Fleur-De-Lys or Straight Lace either but they wouldn't understand. Mom needs me. I'm the only one who can save her. No pony else is even going to try.

I didn't want to think of having just been fed and washed for the first time in a long time, by ponies who didn't even know me. The voice said they'd be the nice but dumb ponies, but Mr. Fancy Pants wasn't stupid at all.

'Don't confuse intelligent with common sense my dear, now either hurry along or just give up and stop wasting our time.'

I obey.

I took a nail file out of the drawer and undid the screws. I was careful to try and not make too much noise. Thank goodness everyone knows fillies use the bathroom longer than colts. And thank goodness the screws for the bars were on the inside.

Okay. Now I just need to get down from the second floor. Makes me wish I had wings.

'You're an Earth Pony aren't you? Or is being made of tougher stuff than feather-dusters and narwhals just a myth to cover for you being worthless?'

No it isn't! I jumped.

And I just managed to catch the fire escape on the other side of the alley. I was sure becoming familiar with alleys.

I finally appreciated the fingers griffins and dragons had as I lost my grip. My rear legs caught the fire escape's bars as I fell backwards.

If mom can do this so can I, If mom can do this so can I, If mom can do this so can I, ifmomcandothissocanI! My heart pounding I got onto the stairway of the fire escape, and managed to climb down. On top of a dumpster, that was thankfully closed. All in all, I didn't get the dress I was wearing all that dirty. I looked back at the bathroom window. I...I promised I'd return the dress to Mr. Fancy Pants later. I... I wasn't a thief.

I quietly slipped to the street, going between adults and buildings. Ponies were glancing at me, but they weren't looking at me like I was some sort of intruder. It's so crowded.

I think Miss Cheerilee said that the Alicorns who refused to heal my mother had a really big open door policy for the immediate part of the castle I was headed for if I actually made it.

And it hit me. There was a good chance I wasn't going to be able to do this. There was a good chance I was going to fail. And just like every time, everypony would laugh at me while feeling sorry for Applebloom when she blew up somepony's house trying to bake a cake.

Mom would still be crazy. Dad would still be seeing Those Mares, Miss Rarity would still hate me, Silver Spoon would still hate me, and everypony would know I was just a bad pony. And the voice wouldn't be there anymore... Was that good or bad? I don't know anymore...

It was a few minutes later that I noticed the pegasus guards flying over head, their eyes scanning, looking, searching. They were on every street. And the castle... I looked, the castle proper was still so far away. There was no way I could make it. They were going to find me. And take me. I was going to fail, again.

'My little filly! We have come too far! I have waited too long! You have sacrificed too much! For it all to simply be cut short now! Keep to the sides of adults. Walk don't run. They might recognize the dress but we still need it. Don't draw attention to yourself. No matter what. Stay calm and keep trotting.'

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. I was sweating. My ears turned at the slight sound of feathers above me.

"THERE SHE IS! The purple one!"

I ran like a horse possessed.

I didn't stop running. I couldn't stop running. I made a mad dash to the castle. I didn't dare look behind me. I knocked ponies over, they shouted out calling me rude, I didn't have the breath to spare to say I was sorry, or gasp at the idea of me saying sorry!

You want me to describe how grand the castle was? How beautiful everything was? How pretty everypony and everything looked? How it was like a fairytale castle out of one of my storybooks come to life? Felt like I had stepped into a dream? All I saw was an army of pegasi behind me shouting and snarling with spears and straight jackets and all I felt was my hooves beating against the hard stone until I thought I was going to crack them. All I could see was a giant gateway that was running away from me no matter how fast I ran towards it. I knew the pegasi were getting closer, and closer.

I nearly tripped and crashed inside through the front gates.

"Hey kid are you okay?" Asked one the white guards standing inside the entrance hall.

I didn't waste a breath and began running again, everything was a maze of confusion, if the voice said anything I ignored it, if I saw anything else I ignored it, I just kept running with a stitch in my side. My vision blurry I saw a door that was labeled 'Closet' something something and pushed my way inside the dark space and slid against the back of the door, hugging my sides. My lungs were burning, I could hardly breathe.

Not on that trail here. Not with those Timber Wolves I thought were going to eat me. Not when I hurt Miss Rarity. Not when I hurt Silver Spoon. Not when they took mom away. Had I felt so alone. I had no one to help me. I had no one I could trust. I didn't even know what I was really doing here. Had anypony ever felt as alone as me? I closed my eyes to get some rest.

++++

"Hey Celly," I ask looking at the sunset.

"Yeah Dissey?"

I shifted a bit on the roof we were on, "Do you think there are any more like me out there? I looked in all the books in the library, and I couldn't find anything that looked like me."

"There was that one thing that looked kinda like you with lots of different parts, I think it was called Chee-mare-ah."

"I'm not a thing," I say sadly.

"I didn't mean it that way Dissey! You're my best friend! Have ya asked yer mom about it?"

"I kinda did. She said I was just special."

Celly smiled like a sunny day, "See? All the adults say being special is a good thing."

"You can be too special," I say sullenly.

"But, that's not true."

"It's just a little lonely ya know? Being only one of a kind. You've got Lulu at least. When I was little... I... There were others in my nightmares but they... they were always mean to me. Hurt me." I didn't understand those nightmares, it was like I did something really bad, but no pony would tell me what. Before she was born I once dreamed Celly crying! But I'd never hurt Celly. And I'd like to see any jerk try. "Then they just vanish and I'm all alone..."

She put one of her wings around me and snuggled against my snaky body. She was always so warm.

"Yer not alone. And it's not really that awful being one of a kind, I think it makes ya really interesting. And I don't just have Lulu, I've got you, I've got mom, and Uncle Spike, and Posey, Galaxy, Wind Whistler, Nana Galaxia, Twilight, yer mom, Applejack, Firefly! And Surprise too, you know she loves having you around, I'd say you're two of kind. I've got all of you, and you've got all of us. We're all a family!"

I can't take it anymore and hug her back smiling, "Thanks Celly! You're my very best friend!"

++++

I startled at the surprise memory, it wasn't mine, but it didn't hit nearly as hard as-

'IGNORE IT! IGNORE IT! That was just a meaningless memory! Of someone who never existed! It has NOTHING to do with what's going on! Or what you need to do! So it's TO BE IGNORED! Because of this, that memory is not to be even thought about. AT ALL!'

The voice had sounded angry before, but this time, there was such, rage behind it.

I shuddered under the voice's thunder.

What was wrong with me? I had something juicy from the voice that it didn't want me to know, shouldn't I be using it for leverage right about now? Maybe find out who that was? But... that's not what a good puppet does.

'We sadly don't have time to waste on nonsense. Get up, get ready. There's no telling how much time we have before the Alicorns notice us and they dispose of both of us. Well, if you're lucky you'll have your mind wiped and not remember anything from the moment I first talked to you until now, and I KNOW you don't want that, do you? Your dress served its purpose but I'm afraid as lovely as you look in it my little pony it's time to switch costumes again. Don't worry, I'll make sure to give you a new outfit once you help me out as a bonus, I've already got a perfect one in mind, I'm sure you'll love it.'

I don't care about that. Me? Not care about a new dress? But, it didn't feel wrong to think.

'But for now you need to find something to look common place without being... oh, never mind. Perfect.'

I had stood up, then and fumbled for and turned on a light switch. I found a series of maid uniforms of various sizes. I felt sick to my stomach at the sight for what the voice was implying. "You've got to be kidding me."

'You don't have time to be picky filly!'

"Please, anything but this," I moaned.

'Don't be such a baby! Now hurry up! The clock is ticking! We're too close to the Alicorns for me to help you take another long nap while the heat dies down, so we have to move!'

With no small amount of regret and revulsion, I slipped out of the dress Fancy Pants had given me. I hoped I saw him again when this was all over. I... I didn't get... I didn't get to say... th-tha-I didn't get to say thank you, for being so generous to a strange filly who looked more like a dog than a pony. He reminded me of dad, before what happened with mom. He was a unicorn. One of Canterlot's oppressive elite. But, he was the nicest pony I've met here, like Miss Rarity.

'Ugh, douse the nostalgia already! I've already had enough of that to throw up in my own mind! Again!'

'Again?'

'Move it or lose it!'

I had no real clue how to put the uniform on, even if I had seen it on many mares and fillies. Black dress with a white apron, and small shoes, thankfully the filly sized ones weren't high heeled. And the mane band went on top.

My diamond tiara, it wasn't part of the maid's uniform. Somepony might notice under the mane band. I didn't take it off. It might have been a reminder of my worthless mark, but it was from my family!

Without a mirror I worked the creases out as best I could. I took a deep breath, scared out of my wits, and slipped out of the door.

"There you are you little sneak!" A heavy hoof was laid on my shoulder. I shrieked and jumped onto the ceiling on all fours and fell back down on my back.

I came face to face with a faded brown mare with a black mane in a maid uniform with an unhappy look on her face. Her cutie mark was a spiked mace and feather duster looking like the jolly roger. Bad sign. "Don't be a drama queen you lazy brat. Didn't you hear the announcement? All maid staff, and that includes juniors and trainees, are to report to the servant's war room! What's your name?"

"D-Diamond-s, that is-"

"Well, come along filly! Don't think hiding in the closet is gonna get you out of your responsibilities now." She took my ear with her teeth and began dragging me along. It was the best I could do to keep up or risk it being torn off. My head spun in confusion. Mom, was this what it was like for you?

++++

Ya wiggle yer body in, ya breathe through yer mouth, ya wiggle yer body along, ya don't think what yer feeln', ya open yer eyes only when ya need to, ya thank Princess Celestia heaven for the recent scheduled rain storm from Cloudsdale. Ya dump this memory in the waste basket and put on the air tight plastic seal, ya press yer ears against the grate listenin' for some walkin' ponies, nearby. Thinkin' of yer little princess gives ya super strength, and you shake yourself about... .And, I still smell worse than Neglected Hygiene when I have to sit next to her on bath day. Phew. And that's what it's all about.

Oh right first, get these shoulder joints back in place and, there we go! Whew. The stink is going to make me faint first before the pain. Well, no guards, no ponies looking this way when I came up. You think they'd have more security for a drainage line big enough for a crazy pony to shuffle through after dislodging her bones.

Ick. Better do something about this smell before I really do faint. No way am I going to be able to fit in looking completely crazy, wearing just a beanie, an insanity cutie mark, and smelling worse than dragon plop. I need a shower.

Hmmm. Let's see. Oh lookie! Hotels! Perfect! Just climb up the side in the alleyway like Spider-Pony. Spider-Pony, Spider-Pony, does whatever a spider does.

Alright. Let's see... hide under this ledge until the pony in the window above me has turned his back, then wall-crawl on up, next. Cute foals, gotta find mine, up we go, eating in bed? Makes me hungry. Up we go, do that with the drapes closed you two! Up we go, ah! Empty! And... drat. The window's connected to an alarm? Can't be having that.

I DO need a shower. And I can't continue to find my princess until I've done that. So therefore I am going to take a shower and I am going to find a way around this alarm.

Wait a minute. I know this alarm! I told the salespony we didn't want it after I looked it over. Let's see here. Put a little piece of plastic from my beanie between the connectors and... we have a real silent alarm, no need to alert anypony I'm here Mr. Alarm, I'll be done in a minute. Close the window, and I'll be taking my beanie part back. Reminds me a bit of home. Into the shower I go. Wow. I really needed a wash. Hope I don't stuff the drain, that'd be inconsiderate of me.

Oh-oh-oh yes. Wash all the gunk and slime away. My prince would faint if he saw me like that. So good. Not like those scrub jobs the orderlies always give. Ah. I feel like I could stay in here for a year, but duty calls. Nice and clean.

Uh-Oh. Looks like I forgot that these kinds of places charge for everything, including showers. And no pony has checked out this room. Which means they know-know-know I'm here. Which means they're coming in through the hotel room door. Nice looking stallions. Sorry boys, I'm going to need you to move. No? Okay I can move you for you, don't worry, no trouble at all. Oh, wait, have you happened to see a little filly that looks a lot like me? With a tiara on? No? In that case I'll just move you out of my way so I can find her.

I really wanted that hotel breakfast too. It was nice to rough it and do some camping on my way here, but nothing beats civilization. Oh quit your crying, it'll all heal. Here, I'll put the bones back into place for you... Huh, guess he was really tired.

Don't worry my little princess! Mommy'll find you!

You don't mind if I help myself to some complimentary snacks and sweets do you? Don't worry, here's my Pony Express card number and this is the number for my lawyer. Not much here but they'll keep me going for now. So if you'll excuse me please.

Oh, I'm naked, in Canterlot. Hmm...Well, he's got my credit number, he can bill me for his jacket. Oh look, it even has a hood! Good, it's cold up here on the mountain! Right?

Now off I go, back the way I came of course. Heheh, that jump made my legs feel silly!

Now if I can just find myself a nice dress shop, a hotel pony's jacket isn't proper wear for a mare in Canterlot after all, but it will do until I find something better. I may not be dressed for the occasion, but I can trot and talk as easy as any snob in Canterlot. Just gotta remember not everypony really appreciates a free chiropractor for some reason. I slip into the crowd without trouble. It's so crowded.

In retrospect, maybe I should have found a nice haunted fountain somewhere and washed myself there instead and eaten at a fancy restaurant and left with my card number there before they had a chance to trace it to 'escaped insane pony.' And maybe I should've borrowed that hotel pony's pants too, walking around with an insanity Cutie Mark in plain view of everypony wasn't my best idea. Maybe I'll just say I'm good with screwdrivers and playing baseball. Hindsight is twenty-twenty like they say.

"THERE SHE IS! The purple one!" And would it have saved me the trouble of having to hide from pegasus guards for breaking and entering, assault, and -I didn't steal anything!- I left my credit card number.

Sweet Celestia they're fast! I suppose I could take on an ever increasing pack of pegasi as I knock one down only for two to take his place in a heroic and bad-flank last stand. But I'm crazy, not stupid, I gallop like I've never galloped before! Too fast! And these boys are trained royal guards, I'd rather not tussle with them. Okay. Plan X. What? It's always the last thing you try that works, so you might as well start with Plan Z and work your way backwards. What is Plan A? I'll let you know when I think of it, I've only figured out to Plan S!

I see where I need to go, but these guards won't give a lady her privacy! I guess I'll just have to undress in a moment out of their view. Here ya go, you can have this jacket! It looks good on you! Oh...now they're chasing her...Looks like fun! Now where was I? Oh yeah, Plan X!

I'm so going to be paying for this later. All righty. Ya disconnect this bone connected to the hip bone, you disconnect this bone connected to the shoulder bone, you disconnect this bone connected to the neck bone, wait, better not touch that one on second thought. Fold myself up, if I try really hard I'm sure I could fit into a soup can. Really scared the hay out of an orderly one time, you'd think they'd never saw a mare hiding in a box half her size before! Took a while to get out, especially since he fainted on top of me. I take this pony-hole cover off before any of that. Here we go, underneath this balcony, fit myself right under and between the rafters.

The Day Guard almost all think I went underground, the rest start going down different streets, after apologizing to some purple unicorn they tackled thinking she was me, she probably shouldn't have worn the hood. Whew. This is not a good start. Not a good start at all. How am I going to find my little princess when I have to deal with city guards down my back? I don't have to worry too much, the power of love will prevail! After all, all fairytales end with 'happily ever after.'

The 'Red Horseshoes' and 'Godfather Death?' I don't think I read those fairytales.

They end HOW? Where are the authors? I want to have a few words with them!

They've been dead for over seven thousand years? Pst. Cowards. We're in a land of magical ponies! Since when aren't there happy endings here?

What happened the day before I was taken from my home? I can't really, remember, must not have been that important, yes, not important, at all, just another day, nothing bad happened, nothing horrible happened, just another day in our happily ever after.

+++

Huh!? Oh! You again. Don't scare me like that. Oh what's going on?

I got dragged by that big nasty maid through the castle all the way into a room full of random cleaning junk! No pony gave us a second look. There are maps on the walls of the castle and the gardens.

'Memorize those maps for your papa dear!'

'You're not my father.' I whisper back in my mind.

'I've been more of a father than that stallion has been haven't I? He won't do a thing to save your dear sweet old mama! Me? I'm giving you the chance he never did, and I'm not punishing you for being yourself, and I've certainly been more helpful haven't I? In fact, I've done nothing but teach you things that will be very useful, isn't that what a father does?

'Besides, don't we have so much in common? Why, I'd say we're family.'

I shivered. I didn't have a rebuttal.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): I don't wanna be mean, but a lotta of the adults are sayin' you keep switchin' between talkin' 'bout how things are going on, and then start talkin' like it happened before. They're gettin' kinda upset with that. I don't like it when adults shout.)

Well excuse me! You first ask what's going on, and you ask what just happened, of course I'm going to keep using different tensions, I mean tenses!

'Just ignore them my dear. A lot of ponies just want to cause trouble by overstepping their bounds and neglecting their role even going so far as to invent a new one just to suit their fancy.'

I notice there are a bunch of other maids and server ponies here too. I, didn't give them a thought before, they've always just been part of the background. Now I'm in the background with them. Being interchangeable. Being able to do only what you're told to do. There's the sickness again.

'Oh, don't worry my little pony, sometimes you have to play a role in the background. When you do that, nopony suspects you. They see you as something they can pretend doesn't exist except when they need something, or a pawn to play not noticing they're being played, and that can be a very useful position to find yourself in if you know how to use it.'

The maid that dragged me here pushed me alongside a small group of other fillies and colts who were dressed like me at the back of the group with the adults in front. We were all facing forward.

"Now listen up!" Said an Earth pony stallion server whose cutie mark was a winged martini. "A lot of you have been hired on short notice but I'm telling you right now that's no excuse for anything! You're expected to do your job and do it like you were ninja! Invisible! Understand? No chit chatting with the guests! No staring! No lollygagging! And if any of you think you can just slip off and think no pony will notice you've ditched your responsibilities, think again! I am like a dragon, and you're all my bit pieces! I will hunt you down, and I will find you! Teleportation or flying will not save you."

I felt like he was looking right at me.

'Well this is one pony who needs to learn to lighten up. I wonder how he'd feel about being a clown balloon,' The voice said.

I giggled. My eyes widened. Mistake. Stupid.

"YOU! You find that funny little filly?" He stabbed a hoof right at me.

"N-no no sir!"

"Two noes? So you do find it funny?"

"No! I don't!"

"Then what do you think is funny?"

My brain went blank.

I wasn't supposed to be talked to like this. I was the one who was supposed to talk like this. I'm the one who... who...

The stallion's face got darker by the moment.

I said first thing that popped into my head. "Naked ponies!"

Now everyone was looking at me. I felt red. I wanted to hide. I felt the need to cry slowly crawl up inside me. And I had the feeling that would just make things worse.

"What's your name filly?"

"Diamonds."

"Well Diamonds I suggest you keep your mind on your job! Just because you're small doesn't mean you're given leeway here. Now I think you've stolen enough time with your selfish thinking that this meeting is somehow about you. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

My entire body wilted.

"Y-yes sir."

The stallion turned back to what he was doing without a word.

Why didn't you help me out of that mess?

'Because, I wanted to see if you remembered any of my lessons. Sadly you did not, my little pony. If you had, you'd have concocted a perfect lie to cover yourself, I have already thought of several. Get on the ball filly!'

I wilted a little more...

The stallion launched into an endless stream of things that needed doing, what to offer and what not to offer to which guests, how to address them, when to keep your mouth shut, when to just smile and nod, what doors to use and which ones not to use in what path. It made my head spin.

The other ponies just patiently took it all in. How did they keep it all straight? It was crazy.

'Don't worry my little pony. You know you're better than them. Or do you? They work more than you, so does that make them worth more than you? But all they do is serve, is doing that more important than... spending your father's money and wearing jewelry and feeling sorry for yourself? Oh, and of course making ponies under you feel worse than you do, can't forget that.

'One self-pitying bully must be more important than a bunch of servant ponies right? They aren't you. So of course they can't matter. But if they don't matter why are you so scared of what they're all thinking?'

Servants talking down to me. Me being the least important pony in the room. Just a face in the herd. No pony cared who I was or how I felt. Everything was contradictions. 'I don't know! Tell me!'

'Now where's the fun if I did that? You still have a much to learn filly. My teacher didn't pull any punches either.'

Your teacher?

'Long story, but I learned from the best. You're in good clutches.'

We lined up and were one by one to be given instructions with our names written down on a clipboard.

I panted with sweat but at least nopony was looking at me.

'For the record my dear. I do feel sorry for this necessary evil,' said the voice, lacking its sly tone, 'All these rules and regulations, trying to make the world seem what it isn't. Sorry about that, it's stupid and boring, I know. But if things are going to go the way they need to, you need to endure.'

I wanted to ask the voice again if it really intended to help me, or was just stringing me along for a big let down and a big laugh after. After all, it was something I'd do and- ugh, sickness.

The sickness. Always the sickness. What was it? The voice wouldn't tell me, it wouldn't even respond when I asked it! It was a sickening weight inside me, pulling me down, slowing me down, making me feel small and ugly. Like I needed a bath on the inside.

I wanted to be home so badly.

'But go home to what? A 'father' who's betrayed your mother? A mother who's crazy? A best friend who was only your friend for your money and you made an enemy yourself? A bunch of blanks who are so much better at everything than you? A white narwhal who-'

Stop it.

My turn. My 'name' is written down. I'm handed an assignment.

Ballroom. Server.

"Hey! We got the same job! I'm Neatly Spell! Nice to meet you, let's see here again... Diamonds! Nice to meet you Diamonds! I haven't seen you before! Did you just start today or something? Does your big sister work here? Did your parents send you here? Are you hiding from an evil secret organization? Are you royalty in hiding? Are-"

Ugh, did Pinkie Pie clone herself?

I turned at the noise, and bumped nose to nose with another Earth Pony filly. She had a deep purple mane, blue eyes, and a coat as white as snow. Personally I think it made her look like a clown, but what felt familiar about her? She was in a maid uniform exactly like mine of course.

She looked at me smiling.

I noticed her flank was as barren as a field in winter. What curse am I under that I am to be forever plagued by blank flanks?

"Ugh," I shook my head, "What did you say your name was again?"

She stuck out her hoof. "I'm Neatly Spell. Pleased to meetcha!"

"Move along fillies!" Said the senior maid pushing us BOTH out of the room, "And don't dawdle!"

"Oh we better hurry, you don't want to be on Miss War Duster's worse side!"

Her name was War Duster? I was suddenly even more afraid of that already intimidating mare.

She cantered along, thank goodness she didn't skip or I think I'd have gone crazy.

I don't know why, but I felt confused when the voice didn't say anything to that.

Well, she knew the way we were supposed to be going and I didn't. I glanced outside a window and saw the sun was beginning to set. Time really flies.

"Wow, your cutie mark: are you a princess?" The filly's voice pierced my ears.

"No."

"Are you a treasure hunter?"

"No."

"Are you a jeweler?"

"No."

"Oh! Silly me, it must be for serving royalty right?"

"NO!"

"Well then what-"

"For jewelry! It's for wearing jewelry! All I'm good for is wearing jewelry! There! Are you happy now?"

"... No I'm not. And that's stupid. There's no way that's what your cutie is for. Mom and dad said cutie marks aren't obvi-, obliv-, they aren't always exactly what they look like."

"Well mine is."

"Naw. Can't be. Maybe it was helping others look good in jewelry. I'd buy that, but if it was something like that, I'd have a special talent for wearing cute dresses by now!"

I raised an eyebrow, "Maybe your special talent is irritating ponies?"

"Funny, my parents said the same thing before they sent me here. Both my parents are unicorns by the way! But that can't be it. I tried that, but no go."

"You tried irritating others?" Sounds like something those blanks would do.

"Well not really, but that's what everypony said I was doing. I said how those drapes clash with the carpet. That a few less flowers in the display would let their colors stand out more. That those napkins would compliment the tablecloth more. The mare uniforms could be an inch or two longer or a shade lighter. But they said I was just a filly and didn't know anything. I would have told the Zebra ambassador how her jewelry could better compliment her stripes but we're not allowed to talk to the guests like that. And that's sad: they'd probably have a better time if we could talk to them."

"You're a designer."

"Huh?"

"Sounds to me like you're a designer."

"Don't be silly! One day I'm gonna be a mage just like my parents and big sister!"

"I try to tell her that she has the voice of an angel, but she won't listen. She insists she'll be a designer just like me when she gets her cutie mark. She just says how I'm good at singing too. I try to use that but she just focuses on trying to copy my talents as a designer instead. And when she isn't, she tries everything except singing."

"Wow. She's oblivious." I said off hoofedly, gasped and covered my mouth. I looked in fear waiting for the wrath I've incurred.

But the tone that comes out of her muzzle reminds me of kind Miss Cheerliee instead. "Let me tell you Diamond Tiara, trying to tell a filly what their special talent is before they realize it on their own is an exercise in futility."

Miss Rarity's sister. Why did I always avoid her when I went to my visits to Miss Rarity? Why did I always make sure I was never seen? What did I have to lose from a measly blank knowing I was taking sewing lessons?

Was I scared she'd tell the others? That she'd tell my father? That I had lowered myself to taking lessons from a narwhal? That I was seeing mom without his permission? That she'd laugh at me for being so miserable at sewing? That all her friends would then have at me? I gritted my teeth.

"Hey you okay?" The playful and oblivious attitude from before seemed to evaporate.

"No I'm not."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No I don't."

"Talking about problems helps."

"No it doesn't."

"Oh come on! Now you sound like a colt!"

"No I don't."

"You sure say no a lot."

"No I-- okay, I am now , but I don't usually."

"Well you really need to learn to open up more."

'Watch yourself my little pony! Kitchen right up ahead! And try to remember not to get lost in your own farce. I've seen that happen to many.'

We entered the kitchen and practically had the serving trays shoved into our mouths and were told where to place them on the tables in the ballroom.

You want details? It was big. It was shiny. It made my family's kitchen look like a pauper's. I wasn't exactly in a spot to take in the sights. There were so many smells of cooking food, I couldn't tell which was which! It almost made me dizzy. Unicorns were all over the place moving like one giant machine churning out culinary masterpieces like clockwork. And I was suddenly just one tiny cog in it!

"Just follow my lead," Neatly Spell whispered as she saw me begin to panic. How she did that with a mouth full of platter was anypony's guess. Maybe she really is related to Pinkie Pie. Me? I just nodded and followed along doing my best to mimic her body language. Made me feel like we were part of a duet.

I tried to resist having flashbacks to the school talent show. The reviews said my and Silver Spoon's dance routine made the audience feel like their eyes were eating plain white rice. Our dance was just 'there' it said. But we didn't miss any steps. We went through the performance perfectly. Nopony laughed at us. And we certainly didn't cause the half the stage to fall on top of us.

So how did those retarded blanks get an award instead of us?! The sickness hit again, this time I didn't care! Those blanks' act crashed down around their ears, they couldn't have done a worse job if they tried, and they get an award and we don't-?! Even when they crash and burn they get rewarded and I get pushed to the background! It wasn't fair! It didn't make any sense! Even when they lose they win? That's cheating! It's not fair! What about me? My plans backfire and everypony laughs at me! Their plans backfire, everypony feels sorry for them and gives them what they want anyway!

'It's like the universe was against you, isn't it? Here's a secret dear: it was. The Shadows Who Rule would never let you have your day, or for anything to be fixed by The Shadows Who Make. They want everything to stay exactly the same forever and ever. Nothing changing, just superficial changes in the window dressing. Thinking they can keep it going forever when they know they can't. But you're free now, the world is free now. And you have the power to change it!'

"Diamonds! Watch out!" Neatly Spell gasped bumping me to a stop just before I could walk into a very important somepony. We scurried along before we were looked at.

"You okay?" She asked concerned.

"I-I'm fine." I stuttered out at the close save. "T-thank you."

"Welcome." She gave me a quick nuzzle.

It took me a minute to realize we were now in the ballroom. Abstract statue of Celestia in the center. Giant marble columns with plastered crack lines on them (maybe the designers felt it gave them a more classic look or something?). The floor was so polished I could see my face in it. At least you could barely tell I had been crying. Was my eye twitching? Had to be my imagination.

The long tables so full of food that most would go to waste, the fancy dressed unicorns, Earth ponies and pegasi, did everything about this city have to make me feel small?

What happened to the times I had felt big? Before my new toy started biting back. When had I gotten back my crown? When had I finally felt great and powerful again?

The one time in my life I had those three under my hoof. My little gossip reporters. That had been so sweet. Like the world had finally returned to the way it was supposed to be. Seeing those three squirm. I had the power, at last. They were my little minions. They did what I wanted them to and they did so eagerly.

'And that impossible choice you gave them was rather lovely too my dear.'

Thank you. I was on top of the world. Why did good things always have to end?

The news paper was being read by adults. Ponies loved it. What did I care if some ponies' feelings got hurt? I wasn't the one hurting ponies' feelings, I didn't doctor their articles to make them hurtful, so I could just sit back and watch the fireworks in peace. And that idea, 'it's for the paper' acted like the invincible armor I needed from the sickness. I was doing my responsibility. Nothing wrong with that. Then those three tried to chicken out. Well we couldn't have that now could we?

All I needed to do was think those four words 'it's for the paper' and the sickness couldn't hurt me! I could be myself again! They even protected me against the sickness when I showed my rebelling reporters the photos of them I'd be putting in the column if they couldn't dig up something. No matter how much the sickness tried to drown me as I declared I didn't care about ponies' feelings. Those three words were my armor and shield.

Who cares if Silver Spoon wasn't with me. Who cares that meant the world wasn't really back to normal? Who cares if mom still wasn't home? I had the sense of attention and control I've always enjoyed before. I could just close my eyes and pretend they were with me.

So... so what if I shelved the gossip story they did on Silver Spoon, there... there was not enough room in the paper that day.

Oh, and then there was the BEST part. For once, the whole town was furious at THEM! At them and not ME! Their own family and friends shunned them like the blanks they were! And all I needed to say to myself 'Gabby Gums was their idea, it's not my fault it's got them in over their heads' and I could watch their loved ones hurt them worse than I ever had! The best part was when that rotten yellow one's big brother chewed them out! And her big sister wouldn't even talk to them. Oh the looks on their faces! Priceless! The sickness tried to gobble me up, worse than before or since, but I just put up my armor with those four words: I only tried to vomit once. Surprised? You think I didn't still have Featherweight trailing those three?

Then the world gets turned upside down again! How could Miss Cheerilee do that-?! I was just doing it for the paper. Everything was going great! How could she kick me off as editor? And I thought she was supposed to be just 'advisor!' Some advisor!

And Featherweight didn't even try to warn me about those blanks' little scheme! He had to have known! I bet he told Miss Cheerilee and wanted the editor seat for himself! Everypony in Ponyville was reading the paper and suddenly when those blanks write their letter THEN she gets on my case? I cry foul! If she had a problem with the paper she'd have done something sooner than that!

I get humiliated and no one says they're mean for laughing at me! Things go wrong for me, and they laugh at me, again! I don't see anyone scolding them when they laugh at things going wrong for me!

Then after the whole mess (figuratively and literally), that stupid wall-eyed pegasus actually invaded my family's property saying how I had bullied her filly! Dinky?! I had never even spoken to her! Took her newspaper and pushed her? It had taken days just to remember what she was even talking about! When I bully somepony they remember it and so do I! (I take pride in my art.) Hearing it from the wall-eyed pony you think I'd been a colt and beaten Dinky up and taken the newspaper from her running away laughing after trying to drown her.

And dad, he just let her talk to me like that! After Applebloom's Family Appreciation Day dad just let that walled eye mare talk to me like that! I remembering crying. He made me write out an apology! A written apology! For taking a paper?! Had the whole world gone crazy?

Pain flashed through my brain. And I had two memories shoving against each other, and they weren't even from the same place! In one memory the Cakes' foals, twins, had been born, and one of the Gabby Gums articles included 'Pinkie Pie: Out Of Control Party Animal' (as if everypony in Ponyville didn't already know that). But... I had never seen the Cakes' baby. How could I know it was twins? Mrs. Cake was still pregnant when... when I left. And Pinkie Pie had done a total one-eighty, and had stopped making parties in the middle of the street without a permit.

'Oh don't worry about that my dear. In fact I'm rather surprised my little pony that you even noticed the difference. I guess it might be because I was having you take a long nap when the link to the heart world broke and events were scrambled around to make them fit. You should feel proud, that little incident's place in time was scrambled around just for you. Normally only ponies with a sixth sense are aware of these changes. That or complete and total mad ponies! Ha ha! Or they just go crazy anyway! Good pony! Very good pony! My Little Pony!'

I'm not crazy.

'Of course not, it's the rest of the world that's crazy. Or is it? Oh well, doesn't matter now does it? Or should it matter? You have a mother to save don't you?'

Yes.

I noticed the ballroom windows all led straight to the royal gardens. No guards. The stars were coming out. The lights inside made the entire outside look black.

'Make a break for it filly. The moment you can slip away unnoticed do it! They won't notice one less server for a small while, even with those rule fixated bullies ordering things around.'

You want me to act natural?

'NO! Not that! Anything but that filly! The more you try to act natural, the less natural you'll act! The night is just beginning. And the cover of darkness will be perfect for you. I'd rather have things happen at high noon for more dramatic effect but sadly beggars can't be choosers. Just keep up the act but inch along closer to the doors and windows and... just relax my little pony. It'll all be over soon. Think of your momma, how happy she'll be when her sanity is back, all the...ugh, happy times you'll have...'

'Are you okay?'

'Yes, I just threw up in my own mind again. Now get moving!'

Neatly Spell kept stealing glances at me, but I made due. She looked, concerned? That was stupid. Who could show concern for any pony who she had one conservation with? Ugh! There's that same weird feeling I get when I'm around Pinkie Pie.

I said my sacred mantra. She doesn't matter, only I matter. And the sickness hit again, along with images of mom, Miss Rarity, dad, and the one friend who I hurt. My entire body shook. I struggled to keep the tray even and stable. The last thing I needed was a spill among these elites. That stallion and War Duster's eyes would be on me for the rest of the party. And I did not want those two on my case again.

All in all the entire ballroom was a typical fancy adult party. Drab, lifeless, along with drab and lifeless music that looked painful for the musicians to play. What was the point in growing up if that's all that was waiting for you?

'Now that's the spirit, why bother growing up? More rules, more responsibilities that only come with fake consequences. It's so much better remaining small: the world is your playground. And foals always get away with so much more than adults, because your elders are so much lighter on the stupid nonexistent consequences they force on you. Dressing up like a cheerleader during playtime with... ugh, others. Isn't it better to stay a little filly? After all, wasn't it all the stupid responsibilities grownups have that made your dear mother ill? Or was it something or somepony else? I'm not quite sure. But I'm sure it'll be clear before too long.'

What do you mean by that?

'Stay focused filly.'

I went through the routines of a humble servant pony like a robot, I think the adults approved. It was like swallowing bad medicine. It was the same bitter taste as the jumping over the water cans singing the ABCs and being reduced to a printing press grunt.

Except this time, "It's okay Diamonds I've got it."

"Don't worry, just make sure to look busy."

"Pst, watch out, your tiara's showing. Yeah I noticed when I said hi."

I shuddered, finally this torture was too much. "Why? Why are you helping me? You don't know me."

"Of course I know you. Your name is Diamonds. You like being a grump. You don't like being a grunt and you don't like big bullies telling you what to do."

"We just met."

"No we met in the war room."

"I meant we just met today."

"So?"

"So why are you helping me?"

"Why not?"

"Because we're strangers."

"Are you allergic to ponies being nice to you or something? We're friends."

Friends? To a pony she just met? I felt sick again. "But-that's-it's-"

"Hey, it's okay. It's not so bad is it? Having friends?"

I felt a dull pain in my chest, like something black and ugly trying to be pulled out. Inch by inch out of me, barbs tearing my insides as it was torn away. Something gentle soothed me that it was going to be okay. Just a bit more, just a bit, -too much. It hurt too much to take out. I couldn't take it. I was weak. It wormed back into place, the pain fading.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I said.

Me and Neatly Spell had to split up. I stuck to the rout. But deviated a bit under the pretense of replacing still half full trays and offering snacks to guests. I knew I was stretching it. But hopefully I'd be able to get out of here before my cover was blown.

I didn't see any sign of the Alicorns. That was a good thing. I didn't want to think about what they'd do if they found an intruder in the heart of their castle. They'll erase my brain! They'll want mom to stay sick so ponies won't like the voice in my head better than The Princesses! I bet they'd send me to the moon, or turn me to stone, or turn me to stone and send me to the moon!

And I still felt like I was a sheep in a pack full of timber wolves. All I had to do was one thing wrong, and they'd know I didn't belong here. They'd know that I was an invader. Why did I keep wilting?

"Don't worry." I felt proud at not shouting when Neatly Spell whispered behind me out of nowhere. "They won't look you in the eyes. They have their noses too high in the air. They don't want to waste the energy on judging you."

"Thanks," I whispered, and the word didn't leave a bad taste in my mouth.

"Welcome Diamonds." She smiled.

How could a pony like her even exist?

I continued that routine for over an hour: listening to music that could put Pinkie Pie into a coma, carefully avoiding adults who ignored me more than they ignored the band. I listened to conversations about the buying and selling of land. I listened to companies being sold or bought. I did hear the amusing occasional culture clash. Some pegasi hadn't gotten the memo that ponies didn't wrap their tails together as a hoof shake in Canterlot, and some ambassadors found out sticking your tongue out here didn't mean 'Hello!' in Equestria.

I was a little bit in awe, so many ponies from so many places, all with their own idea of what 'proper' was, and so many conflicting. What was proper then anyway? If no pony could agree on what it was, did it even exist?

I trotted in a pattern, inching close to my portal to getting my life back each time.

Inching closer, and closer, and closer, AND CLOSER-

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): What's your name?

Huh?! Why are you asking that now?!

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Oh! Well. When we talked to my, to the Elements of Harmony we always got their names formally. So can you tell me your name, just for records' sake? It's just a formality.)

Sigh. Diamond Tiara. There, happy?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Yes. Thanks. And where did you get your name?

You're kidding right?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Please?)

Fine fine. I got it from my parents. Now I really need to-

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): The same parents who took care of you when you were sick and didn't just hand it off to servants? The same parents who always got you whatever you wanted? The parents who love you?

I, that is, yes?

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Okay, good. Is your dad an honest business pony?)

Of course he is!

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): So would he really approve of you being taught how to lie and hurt other-ACK!

'That is enough out of you my little filly! Why don't you run along to your sisters? Really my little pony, you need to learn to ignore small-minded distractions like her. There is nothing more annoying than those who try to overstep their bound and betray their responsibilities. Really. Interviewers should just interview. Not try to steer the story away from its natural course. Stupid little plot device.

'Sorry for that petty annoyance my little pony. You're at the final leg of your quest. Don't go turning off the console now.'

Huh? What?

'Just go for it. You're right at the doors. If somepony asks you, just say the table's out of ice or something and you're fetching more. open the doors, quietly slip out, and away we go!'

The security sure was bigger than the last time I had been here. Then again, the world had gone upside down since then.

I don't think my tricks for getting through here before were going to work again.

They were covering the blind spots I had used before to get inside.

But they were between me and what I wanted, no, what I needed! We did this before and we could do it again.

A lot of trouble over a little thing? It wasn't little to me.

Guards at their posts weren't static, eyes always scanning, ears flicking one direction and another attentive listening for any unusual noise.

They took their job seriously, but hey, they were paid enough to.

This might be a tiny teeny bit harder than I thought it would be.

"You know this doesn't seem like a good idea." She said behind me.

"Don't be a baby Silver Spoon, remember I've got it all worked out in my head. There's nothing that can go wrong."

"Are you sure it's that important?" My best friend asked.

"Don't joke. I just, I just want something that's mom's, Silver Spoon."

"Well I get that, but who's Silver Spoon?"

"Huh?"

I looked over my shoulder and saw Neatly Spell looking right at me.

I somehow managed to keep from exclaiming in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

I wasn't in my home. And the Night Guard I saw weren't my family's servers. And what I was going for, didn't belong to my mother.

"What are you doing here?"

"I asked first."

"Well, I saw you escaping from the party, and I didn't want to get in trouble with Miss War Duster or Mr. Tux and I wanted to see what you were doing."

"You're not supposed to be here."

"Neither are you. So what are you doing here?" She whispered with a tiny bit of fear, "... Are... are you a thief?"

"No!"

"Then what are you doing here?"

"I don't--I'm here to save my family."

"Is your family in the dungeon?"

"No."

"Has your family been turned into statues?"

"No."

"Was your family sent to the moon?"

"No."

"Was your family turned to stone and sent to the moon?"

"No!"

"Are you hoping Princess Celestia will bring your family back from the dead?"

"NO!"

"Then how is your sneaking off in the middle of work going to rescue your family?"

"I didn't say rescue. I said save."

"Save them how?"

"That isn't your business."

"Wanna see how loud I can shout? I'm the regional champion."

"Okay, okay, you promise not to tell?"

"I promise."

"Pinkie swear?"

"Pinkie what?"

"Never mind." Was Pinkie Pie a friend of mine? Of course not. She just was never mean or laughed at me. She had this really strange power to make me smile and laugh without make anypony else feel bad. She tickled me when my mom went away. Then she left an 'I'm sorry,' note with a basket full of cupcakes after I told her I didn't think it was funny!

And she always made me feel weird! Like being near her made me being on top not matter so much, like she was brainwashing me! But it never felt bad, but isn't that what they say brainwashing is like right? But she never actually tried to force anything on me. She was just nice. Don't tell me you're THAT surprised! That pink party pony has a reputation to keep for being friends with everypony in Ponyville (and cow, and donkey and zebra, etc eteria).

"Well?" Neatly Spell tilted her head.

"Well what?"

"How's sneaking off into the garden going to save your family?"

I startled as the question set off gears and levers in my head. I didn't know. The voice had only been promising. The voice had only been guiding. The voice hadn't said what I had to do to help it, and how it was going to make my mom normal again.

'Not normal unfortunately, 'sane' remember? That promise you made me make? I couldn't go spilling the beans in case you did. And this filly is more trouble than she needs to be, a shame, she reminds me of somepony I very much found lovely. You've picked an awful awful time to start being honest my dear. Unless this has all been one big fat game to you and you never had any intention of helping me from the start or were planning to make me help your mother first and then walk away without even lifting a hoof. Though I must say, if it is the latter, bravo, you're a smarter little filly than I thought you were!'

No! I promise I will! I promise! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!

'Hahaha! I always loved that swear!'

So how am I going to help you? And how are you going to help me?

'You've picked an annoying time to ask for details when you have a much more important problem waiting for your answer, and it's too complicated to explain right now!'

My brain struggled for some good lie I could use. Some basic deceit. A distraction. A diversion.

'You know what you need to do my dear. You've done it before.'

No, please-

'You don't have time to explain things. And she'll just think you're crazy anyway, what taking advice from a voice in your head and everything. And she's made it clear that she'll ruin everything if you don't spend the time to explain things to her that you don't have.'

What time? Is something going to happen? Is something happening with mom? What's wrong?

'What did I say about explanations? See that rock right next to you? Do it.'

But-but-

'What? It's not like she's a friend. You don't have any. It's not like she's family. She's a stranger. Nopony. Just a moment of fancy. And of course, she's not you.'

If-If, I-she, I-I bet it would get lots and lots of attention if they found a hurt pony and I don't see where I could hide her.

'Tsk-tsk. You've come so far my little pony. I've taught you so much. You've become so much more than when I found you. And you're still getting caught up in your own facade.'

I-I'm sorry.

'Pst. What a waste. So this is where it ends does it? You braved the wilderness. Infiltrated this city. Made so many escapes. Infiltrated this castle. You've put so much on the table. And here is where it all ends. This is where you lose everything. Because you didn't have the guts to do what you needed to. Even that yellow blank flank knows when to put down a mad dog. You'd faint from the sight. What a total anti-climax. You know what? If you were this cowardly from the beginning, maybe I shouldn't have asked for your help. If this is the final act, I'd have to give you two hooves down. That's about average for you isn't it my little pony? 'My'? Pst. As if I'd be associated with a gutless coward. Don't pretend you think doing it is wrong. Your mother and father are going to be so disappointed in you. That you let one stranger stand between you and-'

+++

Rarity stepped into her little sister's room. Rarity had guessed the sound before coming in but was still hurt to see the source.

"Sweetie Belle? Why are you crying?" Rarity asked gently.

Sweetie Belle lifted her face from the pillow she had been hugging. Rivers came from her eyes and nostrils.

"I-I don't know... " She sniffled, "And I think that's why I'm crying."

"What?" Rarity let out a scared laugh. "Sweetie darling you're not making any sense!"

"I know!" Sweetie wailed. "I-I feel like I just did something really really really bad, that I really really really didn't want to do! And I feel really really really awful for it! But if I didn't someone I really really really love would keep hurting!"

Rarity felt increasingly uncomfortable. "Those...are those some pretty precise feelings Sweetie."

"I know! I'm so confused! And I don't even know what I'm crying for! I don't know why I feel like this!"

"Well, if you don't know why you're crying, you shouldn't waste your tears."

"These aren't my tears."

"Sweetie you're just tired, I think you just took a nap, had a bad dream and-"

"RARITY!" Sweetie Belle snapped at her, "I wasn't dreaming! I'm scared! I just know somepony is really hurt. And they can't cry. So I think I might be crying for them."

"Sweetie Belle will you be-!" '-serious,' Rarity was about to tell her little sister. That Sweetie was talking nonsense, that she was letting her imagination get the better of her. But her little sister's face twisted into so wretched a visage of regret that the words were slain in her throat. Rarity had this odd feeling of having stepped into some strange world.

Her sister's eyes were red from crying, she was breaking down into hiccups. Rarity did the only thing she could think of and hugged Sweetie stroking her mane. "Alright, I'll help you cry for them then."

Episode 59: "New Game Plus Pinkie Pie +"

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My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
New Game Plus Pinkie Pie
Pony POV Series

Hi! Yes, it's Pinkie Diane! It's been awhile since we did a good old fashioned interview huh? How ya been? Is that broken nose healing alright? Oh, how have I been? I've been adjusting. I can't say it's not less stressy that I don't have to pretend I'm still crazy, but I feel, I dunno, a bit naked not having to follow the script.

It's nice to have AJ knowing about these things, it was always so lonely to be the only one who knew about this stuff. And I'm really extra happy I was able to pull off Cranky's welcome to Ponyville a lot better than in the heart world. Oh I know the Shadows-Who-Make have gone on the record as saying that I'm not really a fourth wall breaker, but look at it this way; which way is more constructive for the story? More fun, for that matter?

Oh don't give me that look, it's not at all like those Trixie/Big Macintosh pairings stories (not that they can't be a cute couple; I just don't think Trixie is Big Mac's type). I'm saying it makes this place feel more alive with me able to see the Shadows.

It's funny but no matter what I do I can't get my hooves on a copy of the script for the season finale, so I guess I'm going in there blind.

Aww! That's a nice baby Phoenix you have there. His name is Peewee? That's so cute! Who's a cute widdle Phoenix? Yes you are! You won't be able to take him with you after you've finished all your interviews? That's just mean. You should talk to your superior about that. Huh? Spike? You think Spike's cut out for that responsibility? Trust me, I know how that works out. Then again, he does sometimes gets lonely when we're all busy, having a cutesy little Phoenix to keep him company will be super nice!

So what do you gals wanna talk about this time?

Oh. That. Yeah. Yeah, after I managed to make things run smoother with meeting Cranky Doodle Donkey, I wanted to try it again with the MMMM mystery.

I actually was able to snatch some of the author's notes when he wasn't looking. Or I don't think he was looking, maybe he's just stopped caring by now. But I was able to read up how things could go differently.

"So you guys all had the same dream too?" Rainbow Dash asked the Flutters and Rarity. The twins, Aloe and Lotus, were polite and business-smart enough not to question what their customers were talking about, and just set about making them feel relaxed in their spa.

"Well, technically I had the dream, 'Cruel slept like a baby," Fluttershy whispered. "We can't see each others' dreams, so she didn't see mine."

"I shall confess, I did indeed have the same dream you described Rainbow darling," Rarity seemed to be a little uncomfortable, but they all were.

"Well, in my dream, 'Cruel wasn't with me, and Pinkie Pie was acting, well, like old Pinkie Pie."

Personally Rainbow Dash was thankful it was just a dream. Even though that dream-cake HAD been delicious, the idea of betraying Pinkie Pie's trust, having to scrub every inch of the store, kitchen, basement, and the ovens (no magic), and getting banned from Sugar Cube Corner for a year alongside Rarity (who whined about her hooves getting pruney) and Fluttershy would've just been unbearable. It reminded her of her dreams of Scootaloo not being with her.

It took a really long time for me to figure out how to do things right. I mean, I saw things can go wrong after that talk with Twilight about the whole self-fulfilling time loop thingie... wait a sec', that hasn't actually happened yet? Why not? I'll have to ask Star Catch- I mean Princess Celestia about that. Huh? How did I mess with how things've been going in other spots? Not very much to be honest, somethings were better just to let continue as they are, like if that time loop thingie doesn't happened, Ponyville won't get all those repairs it really, really needs! And a lot of things happened differently on their own. I guess I'm not the only one who's grown up, makes things kinda cool huh?

+++

Sometimes cohabiting a body sucked. It's got plenty of fun perks, but it ain't all sunshine and rainbows.

Take that mess with the tornado, for example. I couldn't believe how thick Rainbow had been letting Thunderlane infect seven other pegasi with the feather flu. But Dash was weather team captain and not me and what she said went. Heck, officially, I wasn't even on the weather team.

Rainbow didn't want the whole 'two ponies, one body' thing to make the job more complicated than need be. Which meant 'Shy had to do the flight work and not me. At least I was there to support 'Shy from the inside.

When this adventure started 'Shy was expecting half the flight team to fly slower just so they wouldn't get a wing power higher than their Princess Gaia, and the other half might look for a chance to buck her in the back during the tornado.

'Shy may not be the most hated or loved pony in Equestria: but living with Nightmare Whisper's legacy sometimes stank worse than dragon's breath.

One thing I hadn't expected was for 'Shy's deeply rooted fear of ridicule to be so powerful that it would actually create a WALL between the two of us! It reminded me way too much of my time in mental limbo, trapped in a pond under a sheet of ice. I screamed out to my family only to be muted by the wall of jeering eyes. I may call her spineless from time to time, but... ugh... that wall is one thing I can't blame her for being terrified of.

The mess with the hurricane reminded me of us going to see the great dragon migration. Okay, me going and dragging Fluttershy there kicking and screaming. I had to bribe Angel and help Rainbow drag our body to the dragon-blind. And even then Rainbow ended up getting bruised from 'Shy flailing around so much. Adrenaline does wonders for a weak body... oh yeah, I guess you already knew that... um, how's the broken nose healing, by the way? Erm, "Did Rainbow do the same thing to me when 'Shy wanted to see the butterfly migration and I didn't?" Eh, I'll leave that to your imagination. Just know we can really overwhelm each other if we get emotionally charged enough.

I knew I was being cruel. But she's the only one of our group who can stop a rampaging dragon with The Stare. She had to get over her dracophobia eventually, not just for her own good, but for OURS.

Made me wish I could duplicate the Counter-Stare I gave Nightmare Whisper on command like 'Shy can now.

'Shy made our body faint twice at the migration, Spike saw that coming and had a bucket of ice water handy (yes, I know the irony!). But at least things worked out better than last time we conflicted, and the dragons were awesome! So many in one place, all that sheer might and majesty! By the end, 'Shy started to stop blacking out and was able to watch with a cold sweat instead of acting like one of her chickens. It was a start. But, as seems to be the curse of my life, the spotlight got stolen from me.

Dragons rule! Except when they decide to have their midlife crisis at infancy after seeing all the kick-flank dragons in the sky, and Marshmallow said the wrong things at the wrong time.

I hate to admit it, but I really did feel bad for the little guy. Call me a softie and your nose is getting rebroken.

"Hey, Spike," I called, walking up to the little pipsqueak.

"What is it?" he asked, he sounded pretty sharp.

"Look, about your little identity issue," I said, looking at him carefully. No two butterflies' wings needed to be mended the exact same way.

"You gonna rub it in?"

"Hey, I'm not gonna kick somebody when they're down!" My eyes shifted away, "... Anymore!"

"Then what is it?"

"Look... there's nothing wrong with being different from the other dragons, alright?"

The little guy looked down looking ready to cry. "You don't understand... How could you?"

"I understand because my 'dad's' a sick brat with the world's worst sense of humor and my 'mom' is a shrinking violet still scared of her own shadow!"

'No offense, 'Shy.'

'None taken. It follows me.'

Oy. I mentally face hoofed. "How much am I like either of them?"

"That's different!"

"Not by much! I was born out of Disharmony, and if that's all there is to it, then I should still be an evil, sadistic bu-"

'Fluttercruel! Not in front of the baby dragon!'

'Sorry... '

"I mean... ugh... a big dumb meanie. Is it a bad thing that I'm not?"

I saw the little guy blink a little. "No... "

"Then is it a bad thing you're not some giant greedy brute?"

He didn't answer me for a few minutes. "I guess it's not... thanks 'Cruel. I just wanna know where I came from, like you."

I was startled, but kept on track, "Spike, I was born from a innocent Pegasus' mind being violated when she proved just why she was kindness, you were hatched when Twilight took her first step to being a hero. If anyone should be envious here, it ain't you! And look at it this way; some day you might be Ponyville's kickflank guardian dragon! I've even heard some epic tales about dragons like that! You got that to look forwards to, right? You can build your own legacy!"

I didn't tell him those 'epic tales' came from storybooks for little foals I made Twilight show Fluttershy to try and help her overcome her phobia. Hey, not the Element of Honesty here.

Spike actually chuckled at that. "Yeah, I hadn't thought of that!"

Purple spent a couple days with Spike talking about some family history of his she had dug up. I don't know the details, but he held his head a little higher around us after that. All he would tell me was I wasn't that far off the mark with that 'guardian' thing. And that he finally felt proud of what he was. Not scared, not ashamed, not unsure, but proud.

I didn't get the chance to get more out of him at the time, he was going on some sort of play date with the Cutie Mark Crusaders Plus One.

But then with the hurricane-

Eh? What did I really mean about 'last time we conflicted?' Oh come on I obviously meant when we had that stupid fight over the hamburger right? Right? Don't you want to hear about the hurricane and-

So you want to hear about the 'time before the hurricane'? I was afraid you'd ask that. Fine. I guess it'll make things make more sense. Just don't blame me if you get confused. It's just I, we don't like to talk about it.

Me and 'Shy... after Dash started reading, me and 'Shy had, well I guess you could call it our first big fight in a WHILE.

'Shy was letting Angel treat her like his serving-maid/punching bag. I wasn't putting up with that: I got the furry little brat to eat his veggies. Going through our mailbox, (Derpy may be a wall-eyed klutz, but she's a law of nature when it comes to mail) we noticed a bit of junk mail about self-confidence lessons. You bet we went! Or rather Fluttershy went with me in the driver's seat.

We'd never seen a Minotaur before. Apparently they'd been left critically endangered after whatever 'games' dad played with them, and even today they were considered a threatened people, at least that's what Purple said. We had to keep correcting ponies who had no idea what he was when they called him a 'monster.'

My first observation of him? Minotaurs are hot. No two ways about it. They are smokin' hot. Iron Will was the biggest hunk I had laid my eyes on. Admittedly, it's a short list. Most of the good stallions in Ponyville are spoken for. Big Mac's not really my type, and most of the others are very close-minded about my liking meat... except for that one stallion, I left him to his tubs of jelly.

Maybe it was just Iron Will's 'take no prisoners' attitude, or his way of taking command, or letting no pony push him around! But the way this bull SOLD himself he could make Tiamat herself back down! I was in heat!

So when Iron Will chose us to bring onstage during his self-confidence lessons, you bet I told 'Shy not to mess it up! Of course, the last time 'Shy had 'forced' herself on anypony, it had nearly brought about the end of the world as we knew it. Consequentially, she was SCARED to be forceful. So 'Shy needed to be retaught assertiveness from the ground up.

Naturally, when 'Shy attempted to back out with a stream of limp excuses, Iron Will just kept building up the pressure. Even with some of her 'subjects' cheering her on in the crowd, she needed a lot of prodding just to stand up to a goat of questionable sapience. Finally, the angry part of herself that Fluttershy had assimilated finally seized the helm.

'Shy had kept her anger shackled to ball and chain in her basement for decades, and like any foal after being cooped-up, she ran wild.

I've got to admit I liked New 'Shy. No more apologizing for every choice she made! No more mea culpa for breathing somepony else's air! No more me needing to step in every time somepony tried to clean their hooves on her!

Until she became a bad imitation of me! Talking smack to others with cheesy rhymes instead of my trademark wit and grace. Turning every minor inconvenience, every thoughtless comment into a fight she had to win.

Boom! Suddenly, New Fluttershy was my fault! Yes, that made me angry! Purple, Marshmallow, all of them except truth-vision Orange, thinking I had backslid and was stealing her life! You bucking bet that made me mad! But oh, you do not want to know how mad that got 'SHY, though. If she was that nasty to ponies being 'mean' to her, you can guess how she reacted to them accusing her 'daughter.' They definitely didn't blame me for it after that.

And she got worse.

What was worse, 'Shy wasn't the only pony in town to take Iron Will's lessons too far. I think Iron Will offered another way out of the dark for ponies who had been damaged by my father and hadn't been healed by Princess Gaia. Others were just emulating Princess Gaia; if SHE acted this way, then it must be okay. Or was showing her true colors or was simply under Princess Celestia's mind control again (the easiest answer).

Boy, did we ever make a mess. Again.

Purple, shocked at the changes in town, took a vote and ambushed us while we were grocery shopping. Dash held her down while she used the memory spell on 'Shy again. From where I sat in Shy's head, I enjoyed a nice little montage of all the times Fluttershy had been kind and submissive to others.

Twilight leaned in close, "Fluttershy? You okay now?"

'Shy head butted Twilight below her horn.

"You need to stop thinking you're an Alicorn! What gives you the right to go messing around with pony's heads?" 'Shy showed her teeth like a tiger. "Unless of course you want to start calling yourself Princess Twilight! Maybe Spike should send Celestia a letter, and tell her to start building a third throne for you! Shall we line up all of Ponyville to be properly adjusted as you see fit, Your Highness? Or maybe you'd like to enchant one of your foalhood toys to do it for you?"

I don't see Purple cry all that often, not with that wall of books she puts between herself and her real feelings. But this, whoa Celestia, she fell down on her knees and began sobbing in her hooves!

'Shy, stop! That was a low blow!' I yelled in our head as loud as I could through her emotions. I may have yelled outside too, I don't remember.

'Oh, and you're going to tell me what to do? Are you going to start acting like your papa and brainwash me into doing things the way you want? When you get a job to start paying the bills, then maybe I'll listen to you, parasite. Oh, that's right, you don't even have a real life of your own without me, so shut up and let me do things my way!'

I think I died a little. I think I even heard my own heart break. I... I cried... I'll admit it, I just hid in our brain, letting her block me out all she wanted.

The worst part was, I couldn't hear the difference between our voices anymore!

"Fluttershy! That's not fair!" Rainbow scolded.

'Shy turned to her. "Fair? FAIR!" I saw RD shrink a little. Then 'Shy let Dash have it. "You want to know what I've really thought of you for letting me fall to my death?"

And she told her. It was like black ripple went through the air. What was scary? I know 'Shy meant every word.

Ponies stared at us like we were a gruesome carriage accident.

Rainbow just stood there, gritting her teeth, barely able to look us in the eye. She said barely above a whisper, those rosy eyes looking so small at us, "And you're right. I was a selfish nag."

No retort, no justification, no excuses, no anger, no self-righteousness.

And 'Shy felt herself fall backwards into a freezing ocean called Reality.

"... Now I'm being the nag?"

'Shy was scared to death of herself, all over again. And I... I had ruined her, again. Going to Iron Will was MY idea.

Maybe in the end I was just a robot, programmed to try and help her, only to have things blow up in my face. Repeating the cliche over and over. I was only good at what I was made to do.

We left for our home. "Left?" We fled. The whole time, Shy apologized over and over for what she said to me and I kept apologizing for what I'd done to her.

I swear, paint scales on us and the Elements of Harmony might as well be a hydra, of course the whole crew visited. Yes, Twilight and Dash too.

"Don't come in! Get the Elements of Harmony ready! Get Celestia! I could go Nightmare any second! Just get ready to blast me!" Shy wailed. A bit of me was hoping they would so I'd get destroyed and never hurt 'Shy again.

"No." AJ bucked the door down (she'd fix it later).

We both curled into a ball tighter and tighter surrounded by our friends. I felt just as much self-loathing as Shy. Who would I turn into a Nightmare next?

We both just muttered "I'm sorry!" over and over again, to each other and everypony around us.

Purple says; sometimes it's best to just leave a friend alone, or they'll close up more. But leave them completely alone and they'll eat themselves alive. Gotta give her credit, she knows her study subject. They all just stayed in a circle around us, patiently, calmly, taking turns, but never leaving us alone even for a moment. No words, no actions, simply being there. Twilight and Dash there just as much as Rarity.

They were such a stubborn bunch. All we did, and they still loved us. We didn't deserve it and they still loved us. Who were all these impossibly good ponies?

We stopped mumbling. They stayed with us. Angel fed us like we were ill. We were. They stayed with us. The CMC Plus Two took turns taking care of our animals because we couldn't, pet care cutie marks or not they did a good job. My friends stayed with us.

Maybe it was one day later or three, but with all five of our friends there, finally 'Shy said, "I'm sorry for the way I acted, I'm not used to being angry? That's a lie, I get angry all the time. I'm more used to hiding it under a mountain. But that's no excuse for being so petty and thin-skinned. I just wanted to grow."

Everyone look nearly teary eyed at us coming out of our shell.

Then I had my say. "And I'm sorry for doing this to Fluttershy to begin with... again."

"Oh will you stop that already 'Cruel!" Dash scolded shattering the mood like a Sonic Rainboom, "That is really getting old! You are not responsible for every bad thing Fluttershy does! You're your own pony, so start acting like it and take responsibilities for your own actions!"

"I am, that's why-"

"That's why nothing! Listen to yourself you attention nut! What Fluttershy does she does on her own! Same with you! The only one here who has something to apologize for is Fluttershy."

Purple said, "I think that a mild case of egocentricism and unresolved guilt on your part is causing you to shoulder the blame for consequences you could have never foreseen."

"So let Fluttershy hear what she needs to," AJ said. "We'll help ya along in a tick Ah promise."

I opened my mouth, then thought better and shut it. I nodded. Twilight began again.

"Now Fluttershy. It's good you want to become more. That's the whole point of living remember? It's nothing to be ashamed of. You're not used to saying you're angry. You just need to learn to channel your anger properly."

"I know... b-but it seems like every time I try to assert myself this happens?" Shy said, tears welling in our eyes. "At the Gala, when I... when I tried to befriend all those little creatures?" I could practically feel the nasty memories coming to the surface. "When I tried to be more assertive... I... I know that was Flutterrage, but she was still a part of me!" And the tears came down, "T-then when I tried to make the world better, I turned into a monster instead! And now... I turned myself into what Discord tried to! 'Cruel was just a baby! I should've known better, I did know better! I'm worse than what Discord wanted 'Cruel to be!"

I'll admit, that hurt to hear.

"Fluttershy," said Pinkie Diane. "That's just silly! Flutterrage couldn't help being what she was anymore than Pinkamena could help being sad all the time, Pinky being a cute little filly, Diane loving mom and dad, or Pinkie Pie being only happy!" Pink stated, producing pictures of her split personalities from nowhere. How did she get pictures of her split personalities?! "Because that's all we were! Her going on a crazy rampage had nothing to do with you having trouble being assertive, it's just who she was! Yeah, it wasn't good to bottle her up in the first place, but I made the same mistake, several times!"

Pinkie then smiled to Shy. "And I know it's really, really, REALLY hard getting used to not having another little you hanging out in your brain to endure all the stuff you don't want to. After we fused back into one Pinkamena Diane Pie, the memories that Pinkamena and Pinky were keeping locked up for Pinkie Pie nearly made me go even crazier than her! You don't want to know what I would've done if Applejack and St-I mean Princess Celestia hadn't given me a reality check!"

I saw Apple shudder. "Trust me, yah all really don't wanna know." Strangely, I saw Purple shudder too, now I was really confused.

"If it weren't for you, Cruel, and Pinkie Pie, I'd have gone Nightmare!" added Dash. "Who knows WHAT I'd have turned into!" I saw Apple shudder again out of the corner of her eye, I think somehow, she DID know.

"Fluttershy, the point is, you're not perfect, only Celestia is," said Rarity, putting a hoof on our shoulder. "I can be... most unladylike sometimes."

"And Ah can be too stubborn for mah own good."

"I hate to admit it, but I can be a big jerk sometimes," Dash admitted.

"And I'm still getting used to functioning without alter egos!" Pink chimed in.

"I'm not a softy or anything... but I'm still learning how to be cruel to be kind, and not just plain cruel," I added, knowing this time putting my problems out there would help somepony else.

"And I can really overreact sometimes," said Purple finally. "We all have parts of us we wish weren't there, but that doesn't make us bad ponies, it means we have flaws to work on. And being there to help each other when those flaws get the better of us is what friends are for," she said, giving Shy a little smile. "It's great you want to become more than you are. Let us help you do it."

Fluttershy broke down crying again and hugged her, group hug followed like B follows A.

Then came my turn.

"Now Fluttercruel, let's get one thing straight, yeah, it was your fault Fluttershy turned into Nightmare Whisper... " Dash said.

But AJ pushed in, "But stop being so stuck-up yer flanks thinkin' it was all yer fault! Fluttershy's just as responsible for takin' it the wrong way! If that's all there was to it, it would have happened buckin' sooner. And it ain't like you were AIMIN' to bring about Nightmare Whisper!"

"We all suffered open wounds from that day, remember darling?" Rarity asked.

"But Shy didn't get broken like all of you! The Old Man made me because he couldn't!"

"And Fluttershy told herself it was just a nightmare," said AJ, giving a serious look. "Ah can't blame yah for actin' how you did at the time. Actually, Ah take it back. Ah can. Yah knew everything Fluttershy did, you thought you were Fluttershy, and were still being nasty even though you could remember being nice felt nice. But that rotten varmint made you that way, so yer no less a victim than all of us!"

Twilight entered lecture mode. "And I've thought about something for a while, and I've realized: it's just not possible that a pony like Fluttershy could be ignorant of nature's vicious side. A wildlife expert like her?! How COULD she be?!"

I had to think a little bit. I consult some of Fluttershy's earlier memories, before I entered the picture. I saw her feeding raw meat to healing predatory animals, even watching some of them hunt other animals she had rehabilitated.

"Yeah... I guess... "

"My theory is this: After she'd seen the world as absolutely cruel, through you, she tried to compensate by seeing the world as absolutely kind and repressed those memories. It's a natural response to trauma, Pinkie did the exact same thing."

'... I guess I really did try to forget it... '

I did my best to mentally nuzzle her. Yes, I did.

"Meanwhile I went insane and brainwashed the town because I was too stubborn to go to therapy. Then helped Trixie escape her personal black hole."

"And I almost went bucking Nightmare because I couldn't handle being sandwiched by conflicting loyalties," Rainbow added.

"And I... I nearly... badly hurt Sweetie Belle with a circlet because I tried to ignore my psychological pain," Rarity added guiltily.

"I ended up making Angry Pie, who tried to gobble me up! All because I was too silly to stand up to how I felt!"

"And Ah... well, it's a long story, but Celestia knows Ah had my own horse apples to work through."

"And we were all so busy healing from our damage we didn't stop to think Fluttershy would need help too."

"And that was my own fault 'Cruel for not talking to any of you, I'm the silly filly who didn't think to ask for help," 'Shy took me by surprise and slip in for the moment before retreating again to let my little session finish.

Purple finished up. "Fluttercruel, you probably helped her by giving her something to focus on!"

That gave me serious food for thought. What WOULD Shy have been like, in a world without little ol' me?

"The point is, you weren't the only one to blame for all this... " said Rainbow Dash, putting a hoof on my shoulder.

"There is plenty of blame to go around... And who you blame for something doesn't change a thing," Purple told me, as if a realization hit her then. "It's fixing the problem that matters. I don't think anyone's tried harder to save Fluttershy than you have."

"Yeah, and you fought your way outta Pony Hell to fix that mess! So stop tearing yourself up!" Rainbow Dash smirked approvingly.

"Trust me; even if you weren't here, Fluttershy still would've gone too far with that assertiveness stuff!" Pinkie Pie added.

"Um... Ah promise yah, that actually makes sense... " said Applejack.

I do my best to let it sink in there. Finally, I looked up. "... I think I understand?"

Cue group hug part deux.

Not long after that, Fluttershy made several meetings with her 'devoted' that she hadn't been right to act as immature as she had, and how she had acted wasn't what she stood for. It didn't have the same feel as the speech at the Gaia Festival, this meeting felt more between her and the ponies who still saw her as Princess Gaia.

She also took the time to apologize to the various people she harmed, but also reminding some of them they could be kinder to other ponies.

When Iron Will came by to collect his fee, 'Shy informed him that, per his 100% satisfaction guarantee, we didn't owe him a thing. Oh we had the money, yes, but 'Shy was standing on principle.

Iron Will proved to be a very mature businessminotaur and accepted our answer. And he actually revised his lessons afterwards after seeing more ponies didn't grasp the concept of using anger as a tool quite right (I could have told him that). I don't think his lessons were wrong: your anger CAN be used for you, but he forgot the part about the anger not using you.

But being me, I had my own ideas at the time.

We both should have seen it coming. Princess Celestia had to have seen it coming!

In our cottage I told her happily, "Hey 'Shy, I think I'm gonna ask Iron Will out."

"No you're not."

I startled at her answer. "Says who?"

"Says me." She said evenly.

"Well I say: 'yes I am.'"

"And I said: 'no you're not!' He's Rainbow Dash on steroids! It would be too weird."

"Well we're pretty weird ourselves."

"Not that weird. And never that weird. And no offense to Spike and Rarity, but I'm really not into-"

"Well maybe I am."

"You're not me."

"Like 'duh.'"

"Don't think you can push me aside to get what you want again."

"Want to see about that?"

And for the first time since the great hamburger argument, we brawled. Our body jostling back and fourth between us with no control. We banged ourself into the walls and furniture. "Coward!" "Bully!" "Prude!" "Deviant!" Our skull rammed into a wall just missing a window. The birds inside squawked in panic. Angel frantically shoved chairs and tables out of our way. "Every time I want something you say no!" "Everything you want has to turn my life upside down!" We flew our back into the ceiling, if our wings hadn't been outspread, we might have broken them. We belly flopped into the hard wood floor. We rolled around like we were on fire. I don't know how long we kept thrashing ourselves. We were absurd.

At some point, all our adrenaline was spent. We just laid on the floor, panting. Everything was sore. It was anypony's guess what we hadn't hurt. Angel and all the rest of 'Shy's animals cuddled around us.

"'Cruel, please tell me, tell me that was a remnant of Discord's magic, tell me it was some remains of Nightmare Whisper," 'Shy said laying on the floor, not getting up. It was painful to even breath deep at that moment, let alone get up.

"Sorry 'Shy, no can do. That fight was all us. Period."

Already it felt like some weird dream we both had. The pain the only thing telling us it was real. Could I, we, be so immature? We were so petty we'd fight just like that? "I was afraid of that. I was being really rude wasn't I?" She whispered.

"So were a bunch of ponies in town. It's nothing too special. Heck, I'd say I was acting like old me. Don't worry about it."

"I still won't allow Iron Will to date us. He's not my type."

"... I know 'Shy. But he is mine."

"I know that too. Maybe we should ask Princess Celestia to split us apart now?"

My own body. My own time. My own life. Not needing to share it. I seriously considered it. For about ten seconds.

"No. I don't want to be without you. I don't want a life without you next to and within me. I don't want you not there. But can't you be a little more open?"

I was honestly scared of what it'd be like without her. I know, I know, but you think conjoined twins wouldn't feel totally alone without their sibling there with them after spending their whole life with them? Multiply that by twenty and that's how I know I'd feel without Shy sharing a body with me. We aren't just twins joined at the heart. Oh who am I bucking kidding? I bet a lot of them might see it as freedom. But it wouldn't be freedom for me or 'Shy.

"'Cruel, I just don't think I'm ready for a relationship like that. It scares me. And if I... if I fell in love with a stallion you didn't like, would you make me not see him?"

I hadn't thought of that. "I guess I'd act just like you. I'm sorry. It's gonna be tricky... finding stallions to date. We'll BOTH have to like him. He'll have to like both of US. If we get separate stallions, that's going to be interesting to explain."

"I'm sorry too."

"I think I just wanted a somepony of my own maybe." 'Maybe' because even I didn't know.

"There's Coffee Swirl."

"He knows you too."

"Not as well as you."

"I'll think about it."

"I will too."

We fixed up the place and Angel gave us some first aid and made us go to the hospital to get checked out for real, just to be safe. Angel might know all of Shy's medicinal tricks, but he's still just a little bunny. Did we tell the truth of what happened? I'll let you figure that part out.

It wasn't long before Iron Will took his assertiveness training back on the road, after one last, free lesson as "use your anger as a tool, don't be its fool" (the guy learns from his mistakes, I'll give him that). Felt like a cheat really that our conflict resolved itself. As cool as I thought he was, I wasn't about to leave Ponyville for him. I can't say I wasn't sad to see him go. I still would've liked one date with him.

"'Cruel?"

"Yes, 'Shy?"

"Next time you want to see somepony, I won't stop you."

"... Thank you. If... when you want to see somepony, I won't stop you either... "

Dear Princess Celestia,
This letter actually contains a lot of lessons we've learned about friendship recently. Learning that your friends make their own choices, and you're responsible for what you do, not what they do. That even friends you couldn't live without will have different needs from you. To learn that being a bully isn't the same as standing up for yourself, and you don't need to treat life as a war to stand up for yourself. And true friends can help you see where the middle road lies.
-Fluttershy and family

And that brings us back here to the hurricane.

Facing the festival crowd after Nightmare Whisper had been something she knew she had to do. A good adrenaline rush could help 'Shy get over her ghouls, but it didn't always work when it came to responsibilities that came with being a pegasus. And Rainbow had to go and turn it into a production. I might love to show myself off no prob, but 'Shy? Rainbow gets into her pretty dresses easier than 'Shy gets on stage.

In spite of what you might think, Rainbow actually cuts 'Shy a lot of slack, but for ditching her responsibilities as a fellow pegasus? Wasn't happening. Not now. Not ever. Especially when Rainbow had her chance to impress a Wonderbolt and to break a world record.

Not ever cut 'Shy any slack about her responsibilities I said? I've been wrong before. In particular when Rainbow got reminded that not all of 'Shy's demons came from the day of chaos. As much as ponies would LOVE to blame my dad for every chipped tooth and foalhood teasing, the universe wasn't that nice and Rainbow Dash had been there to witness Fluttershy's abuse and suffered some of her own when she failed to reproduce the Sonic Rainboom as a filly.

Nearly falling to her own death had left little 'Shy with a fear of heights, resulting in her panic attacks that left her wings glued to her body when she tried to fly, which could spell death for a pegasus in Cloudsdale, and the constant teasing only made it worse. But instead of facing the problem, she had just moved to the ground instead where her talent did the most good and she didn't have to face her fears, and any anger she felt towards the bullies got dumped on little Flutterrage. She'd eventually get over it enough to fly, but her nerves would still make her wings lock up if they got the best of her.

Foals are innocent? You bet they're innocent! How do you think I was so sadistic and vicious when I was first born? Don't mistake innocence with goodness and being too little to know bad from good.

But seeing Rainbow Dash heart broken at 'Shy not being able to help pretty much reversed 'Shy's decision.

''Shy, is this about what you said to Rainbow when Iron Will was in town?'

'No, I promise. I'd do this either way. I can't do this for a weather captain, but I can try for a friend.' She's still the Element of Kindness.

It was a disaster. And I thought 'Shy's dragon phobia was bad, it was nothing compared to this! Being locked away in a mental room made out of jeering eyeballs is going to be in my nightmares. The worse part? Is that I couldn't help her! That wall totally out volumed me! I couldn't believe she was letting some school yard punch-clock bullies still hurt her decades afterwards! But feelings don't run on logic. And tough-love could backfire on 'Shy.

We even tried doing it with me secretly in control, all that made us do was skin our nose as 'Shy's psychosis ripped control from me and we crashed. I was beginning to develop claustrophobia!

The ponies who did do worse just for their princess was the straw that broke her back. 'Shy decided she was being more harm than good at that point. She ran away crying.

"We're going back there."

"No."

"Yes we are."

"No means no! It'll kill me."

Thankfully, Shy had finally given me some ammo to use.

"Remember what my cutie mark is 'Shy? Supporting others! Helping them along when they can't! And 'Shy, you need more support than any pony I know right now. You know you can fly great already. How about you put your popularity to good use for once and INSPIRE them? Like it or not they look up to you. This isn't a mantle you can take off. It's a responsibility. And I know you're mare enough inside and out when you aren't putting yourself down. Besides, they are all ready to help you too." I pointed at 'Shy's collection of animals, some of whom backed up my speech.

So yeah, she trained like a machine, tough girl, I offered to take over, but 'Shy knew this was her problem to deal with not mine and she wasn't going to cheat. I have to admit, bulking up our body felt good, even if I was just the passenger. And where did Angel find all those tiny pony masks?

We never felt so on fire, I had never felt so proud of 'Shy, no evil overlords or monsters here, this was her own responsibility to her fellow ponies she was fighting for! I didn't realize how out of shape we were (seriously, how do you lose a tug of war match to butterflies?! Even if one of them is Our Butterfly!), but she kept going because she knew they were counting on her!

It was like Princess Celestia herself was at our side!

She built up our body, nothing would stop her, they were in awe of us at the test track and...

We still ended up with a below average wing score of 3.0. It was a lot better than the first run, but still way below normal.

'More harm than good. More harm than good,' echoed in her head, as she chose that all she'd do is damage things. She didn't seem to notice that her managing to increase her wing power by about six times its original amount had inspired some of her struggling 'subjects', or that was what Twilight told us later after 'Shy ran off crying. Broken that all her effort had been thrown back in her face. And it made the memories only laugh harder at her.

RD tried to tell her how huge her improvement was but, "How'd you like it if everyone was flying at ten and you at three-?!"

And that sent RD's pep talk into limbo.

I was half expecting the mean Griffin Gilda to show up and rub it in her face things were going so bad for my 'mother.' Funny how our roles switch around. No, not funny at all.

But what really did more harm than good actually was Rainbow Dash not giving ponies sick leave and letting them infect each other. Turns out those low flight scores didn't have to do with 'Shy after all.

We found all this out during our regular visit to the hospital the day of the tornado. We had no intention at first to go to the hurricane, 'Shy figured we'd do more good visiting the hospital. Nurse Redheart seemed to know what we did even if she never said so. She welcomed us loyally each time. When we ran into eight pegasi all in bed with the feather flu including Thunderlane, 'Shy's desire to pitch in and help those in need overrode her self-deprecation as par for the course. You go filly.

By the time we got to the reservoir, the tornado had failed once already according to Twilight there with Spike. And Rainbow and the rest of her crew were willing to try again even if it killed them. Forget Earth Ponies, pegasi were the ones who had 'never surrender to a challenge' hardwired into our cultural identity and double that with Rainbow Dash.

That Wonderbolt Spitfire was there, but Twilight said she had to stay back to act as a rescue flyer if worse came to worst.

So yeah, here we were.

'Shy got ready to take off to help, but--

The room, the prison cell formed again. It was like it was getting smaller, like it wanted to crush me. The room wanted to smoother the life out of me! 'Shy was paralyzed, the ghosts laughing at her. They chanted "Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can hardly fly!" over and over. It was so loud our ears were going to burst!

"I won't make a difference! If I make any difference I'll just make things worse! And again! And again! AND AGAIN!"

Twilight shouted over them all, "This isn't about you! It's about everyone! You want it to be about you? FINE! But what's going to hurt more?! That you tried to help them and failed? Or that you didn't try at all?"

"Not if I make things worse!"

"You don't know that unless you try! This isn't about forcing something on somepony! So stop it please! They need you! Rainbow needs you! Equestria needs you! And you need this! You wanted your chance to grow? Now's your chance!"

A giant yellow and pink dragon ripped the room to shreds. 'Shy flew. I gave every drop of strength I had to keep up. And she flew, oh did she fly! And I think seeing their Princess take flight with them gave some of her followers the incentive to try harder too. Our wings were burning but we didn't care! The wind howled and we roared back! We tore a circle in the sky! Fly! Fly! Fly! Gotta fly! Nothing else mattered! Gotta fly! Fly! Fly! Fly! Gotta fly! Huh? Cloud? We did it? 'SHY DID IT!

And Spitfire, I didn't get the expression in her eyes. She seemed to be smiling, almost wistfully at us.

"Nice going Dash," She said smiling, like RD was a personal friend, "You might not have set a new record, but that was some guts you showed."

"Thanks Spitfire," She said in kind, not really melting in front of her like I thought she would in front of a 'Bolt. "But if you wanna talk guts, then you've gotta give it to my number one flyer, Fluttershy!"

"Fluttershy! Fluttershy! Fluttershy can really fly!"

And they cheered her, her. Heck, I joined them mentally. The girl deserved it!

They didn't call her Princess Gaia, they called her Fluttershy! Not their Mother Princess! Not Nightmare Whisper! Fluttershy the pegasus!

You have no idea how much that helped her, you have no idea how much that healed her, you have no idea how many weights that took off her. How much it freed her! She was loved for herself.

And 'Shy just took it all in, the glory, the cheers, this was something she did for everyone. She enjoyed the little inopportune parade they did for her more than she could ever have enjoyed the Gaia Festival, she felt as light as air.

Dear Princess Celestia... And you know the rest! Ha-ha!

'Shy?'

'Yes, Cruel?'

'Good job!'

'Thanks! Fluttershy is back and better than ever!'

And she flew, for the first time in her entire life, 'Shy flew for fun.
She was dancing on air. Dancing on air with glee.
She was celebrating them seeing just her.
Doing cartwheels in the air, her hopes realized.
From all the anticipating, it was sure a big surprise!
She was floating lighter than a cloud.
This was no gloating, she was laughing right out loud!
It sent her spirits flying, not one eye was crying.
It was like a dream come true, this I can say so too!
It was an answer to her every prayer.
Time would tell if she came through.
And just look at what happens when I do!
Prancing, dancing on air!

++++

Oh, huh?! We're back? Didn't think we'd have another story in here! Hope it works out better than the last episode adaptation we did! I think this one was a lot different though, since we weren't bound to the heart world for it! You really need to give Fluttershy her own interview, I don't think she's ever had one yet and the series is really near the conclusion now. Well, not really but from a narrative perspective. I wonder how many got that song tribute. Too meta? Okay, sorry I promise to scale it back from now on.

Like I was saying at the beginning, it took a lot of thinking for me to decide what to do differently if anything. I mean, what if by me trying to do everything better, I just make things go worse? But if I tried to make everything go the same as they did in the heart world, I might make trouble anyway! So I had to be really, extra careful! I only had one shot, and I couldn't count on this becoming one of those groundhog day loop thingies! Since AJ knew about this a little bit, I even asked her, she said she can't decide for me and it's something I need to decide on my own, since it's my story and not hers.

Finally I decided to still invite everypony with me to Canterlot and give my big speech about how delicious a cake the MMMM was anyway. AJ's family sure picks up her slack a lot when she's out of town.

I installed several pegasi and unicorn proof defenses around the MMMM this time and I knew when they were going to strike, I'm still not trusted with coffee, so I just took a nap earlier to be wide awake when they showed up. In the dark of night I heard two sets of hoof steps coming towards the car. But they stopped at the door for a few minutes and then turned back... Had we all changed that much? Dashie, Fluttershy... I wish you knew the things I do so I could tell you how proud I am.

Then right on clockwork, the drapes for the car came down. Except this time I shouted out and snapped on a glow stick I brought along this time and dive tackled for the back side of the cake screaming, "RARITY!"

"Pinkie!" Exclaimed the fashion queen on the carpet with me on top. "What-how-why-did you see the way the thief went?"

"I'm looking at her," I said darkly. I really thought they'd all changed enough that this wouldn't happen.

Rarity made a small, nervous laugh. "Now Pinkie, don't go back sliding and start acting weird again. Now would I-"

I instantly launched into my speech about how perfect and divine the Cakes' creation was, and watched her drool. "Rarity, those drapes could have only gone down with unicorn magic, and the fact I didn't see the sparkle means it had to have come from a unicorn who'd know how to hide it, a unicorn who's good at images, in other words illusions, in other words, appearance, in other words, fashion."

Rarity fidgeted, her irises' looking small. "Now now Pinkie, let's-let's not blindly jump to conclusions, there could be a hundred different explanations, and-"

I gnashed my teeth, "Rarity please stop. Please Rarity, just stop. You don't need to hurt me or yourself by lying." I considered bringing out my trump card that I knew about her false eyelashes, but let it go. That 'lie' had nothing to do with this. "Donut Joe is a baker, not an illusionist, and Twilight is the only other unicorn on this train right now who knows about the cake, and I only heard one set of hoof steps. And Twilight could have just teleported a piece of the cake away. I get it. I shouldn't have baited you or anypony. But Rarity, how Rarity," I felt sick inside contradicting my Element, but this thorn had to come out. I intentionally hurt a friend's feelings. "How could you be this greedy?"

"Greedy!" Rarity, still with me holding her down with my heavier weight and natural Earth Pony strength, looked rightfully scandalized, "How dare you! Pinkie! I was only going to take a little bite!" Then she heard herself, I felt her hooves try to go to her mouth, but I was holding them down with all my might. "Oops."

I slowly and gently got off her. "Rarity." I looked sadly at her, I didn't feel angry at her for nearly destroying a lifetime achievement of my foster family and for nearly crushing the trust I had so painstakingly gained from the ponies I loved as a second pair of parents. "Rarity what you did wasn't the least bit-"

"If you say it wasn't 'generous' we're done. As much as I wish it wasn't, so I'm not perfect. I'm not a robot programmed to always be generous."

I smiled wistfully at her in the dark, both of us illuminated by my glow stick like we were ghosts, heh, in a way we were. I sang,

"I always plan to be purely perfect,
time and again it's my goal.
Got to admit I'm not always perfect,
Please, don't you dare tell a soul."

For a moment I saw glint of something in Rarity's eyes, like she remembered the song from far away. Then she just shook her head. "Pinkie, that song. That wasn't yours was it?" She asked confused.

I so badly wanted to tell her about the little rare Rainbow Princess who never existed. But that wasn't here nor there. I'm done going in random directions.

"No, it was sung by a friend of mine who helped teach me not to take everything seriously and what to take seriously, even if I haven't thought of her in a while. But Rarity, what you did wasn't what a friend does. You knew how much this would hurt the Cakes, you knew how much this was going to hurt me. So why?"

"You just made it sound so delicious. It's like you have this magic about you when you describe treats."

"I guess I do." I was hurting inside so bad she'd still do this, even without the script there we were still doing small and selfish things. But one thing I had to get used to was dealing with it myself when that happened. "And Rarity, this is also what a friend does: I forgive you."

"What?"

"I forgive you. There's no harm done, and no one needs to know. But Rarity, there's something you need to hear," I said sadly. "And you're not going to like it, not one bit."

Rarity took on the most mature stature she could in the darkness and said simply, "I'm ready."

"Rarity. This hurts for me to say. But, there's always been a little greedy Rarity on your shoulder. Discord didn't make you greedy, he made it the queen of you. We're all proud of you for listening more to the little generous Rarity on your other shoulder but you do listen to her, and not just once or twice."

Rarity shuddered but said nothing. I wished 'Ruelly was here, this was her thing. But she wasn't there, I was on my own.

"But Rarity, that greedy Rarity, she's not going to lose every fight. And what she's going to tell you is always going to sound like a good idea at the time. Just like the stubborn AJ inside AJ. The anti-social Twilight inside Twilight. The jerk Rainbow inside Rainbow. The lying Trixie inside Trixie. The Flutters inside Fluttershy and Fluttercruel too. But that's what we're all here for. We're here to help each other and to recognize them.

"Er, I'm not used to giving these kinds of speeches, that's Twilight's department. But Rarity. The only way you can really guard against that greedy Rarity? It's to know she's there, and always will be, no matter how tiny she gets. Even when Fluttershy took all of the bad feelings away and locked them up, they didn't go away. Just like Lonely Pinkie and Angry Pinkie will always be a part of me. I'm not ashamed to be sad anymore, and Fluttershy's not ashamed to be angry anymore. And you don't have to be ashamed of what you feel."

Rarity lowered her head so low it touched the carpet.

"And the darkness within shall make the inner light shine brighter." Rarity said as if she was quoting somepony.

Is it in character for us to open up to each other like this? To trust each other like this? To just bare our souls to each other without hesitation? To forgive? Yes. It's who we are, it's what we are, this friendship between all of us, like the ingredients in a pastry, we're part of a whole, even if some of us aren't there at the time. This pure, unconditional trust we have for each other, it's not just part of the puzzle, I think it is the puzzle. Huh? Why are you smiling like that?

"And Rarity, you really don't need to be ashamed of feelings that contradict your Element. You said so yourself, we're not robots, we don't just do what our Elements want. But if you just ignore that Rarity, she'll just get bigger. If we cut off little parts of ourselves to take those feelings for us, we end up breaking apart until we're an empty storm inside. They're a part of us, and that's all there is to it."

"I understand darling, I know. Thank you... thank you for reminding me and--" I saw it in her eyes, for a moment she was going to ask if she could take a bite after all. But then just said, "And thank you for stopping me, and good night."

Before you ask, yes, Rarity did charm Spike into sending a 'private' friendship lesson report to Princess Celestia.

The next morning I lured the three chefs into the car, and 'repeated' my performance of describing their works of culinary art just as the tunnel hit and they got gobbled.

Huh? Why? Like duh! So the three of them could still become friends! They were bitter rivals to each other and me! I don't know if this counted as cheating or not to help the Cakes win, but I wasn't about to let a friendship like this not happen!

"Pink piggy! She ate them!"

What I HADN'T expected was for all the suspicion to turn on me! My cake was the one thing not touched now! I suddenly felt very cornered. Now Twilight had to prove my innocence!

Having a pony lie detector isn't as big a game breaker when mythical truth vision doesn't stand up among a bunch of strangers. Princess Celestia might have been able to know AJ was right when I said I wasn't the big-eater, but by then the contest would be over and I'd have failed my second parents.

"Pinkie, do you think, you might have done it on reflex? Without thinking about it?" Twilight asked gently.

"I am not a pig Twilight!"

Twilight was startled at my voice.

Then Rarity came to my defense zipping between us, "Now darlings! Let's not jump to conclusions on circumstantial evidence. There's more than one person in this car after all."

For second I was scared Rarity was going to take the blame 'for me.' Then Twilight said. "You're right. Let's solve this mystery." Turns out Twilight had a sherlock hat in storage too! Doesn't work without the bubble pipe in my humble opinion. So I just handed her mine for effect.

I made sure to let things take their course. It felt good though that I didn't have to pretend to be old me, and I let Twilight play Sherlock, taking in all the details. She even found some clues I didn't, like Mulia's Chocolate Mousse Moose had beak marks instead of teeth marks.

Smarty pants Twilight was able to pin who ate what and they broke in confession about my charming geass like descriptions of their master pieces. Close call.

So yes I still suggested they pool their efforts, and lent a helping hoof in assembling it. They were shocked at that considering they had accused me of sabotaging their works but I Pinkie Pie Swore I wasn't trying to 'pay them back.' Maybe it counted as helping the enemy for the Cakes, but considering what I had just done so the three of them could become friends I felt I owed it to them. Forging a friendship between the three of them meant a lot more to me than any prize could. Besides, I knew from the script that even if they won first, we'd at least win second or so, and the Cakes would be alright with that. They weren't stubborn like Applejack was.

Oh? Who won first place with the MMMM still whole and the combination work missing a piece? (Not that they knew that.) Oh come on, you don't expect me to tell you everything! Let the Shadows-Who-Watch have to guess a little bit! Just know I didn't eat the whole thing in one bite this time, I made sure everypony got a nice big slice. Especially three who'd wanted it the most.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that even when you know what you're talking about, and you take the time to plan, things can still go wrong. Being honest with new friends can't always be an option until they know the real you first. But you should be ready to accept when misunderstandings happen, because ponies aren't puppets, and can always surprise you.

Your friend in this world and the one before, Pinkie Diane.

I just want to take a minute to say that it's been a fun ride for me and I hope it's been a fun ride for you guys too. I'm sorry that things aren't done yet like the were supposed to be months ago, I really really am. But, you'll keep coming back even after the canon stuff is done right? You will? Thank you guys! Pinkie hug! I'm sure we'll have lots of new adventures, even if they're not by the original author, I mean just look at the fan works list already!

Please come again. We still have plenty more to do. I'm sorry for this going on for so long. Oh stop apologizing for that? Okay, I... I think I'll try. Good luck.

-Fin

Episode 60: "Mind Games Part 4"

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My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Mind Games Part 4

I was outside walking away from the castle ballroom, I was trotting towards the royal gardens' maze. My body was moving like a broken toy. What happened? What did I do? What did I do?

I obeyed an urge to look behind me, but I closed my eyes before I could see anything and turned my head back forward.

'You had it in you after all. And I was beginning to doubt we were family. My bad.'

YOU! What did you do?! What did you make me do?!

'Hahaha!! Make you do? My little pony, if I could override your body before, or any pony's, why would I have bothered making our deal and swearing to My Mother to keep it? Or if I could do so now that you're nearing the end of the journey, why would I bother handing you back the controls? You want a scapegoat? You want a whipping colt?'

An image of myself in the mirror suddenly appeared in my head.

'There you go... Huh, that wasn't as funny as when Mother did it, only laugh I ever heard out of the Old Lady.'

I shake the image from my mind. Shut up.

'What was that my little pony?'

I said shut up! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!

'So you want to be all alone then? All alone? After what you just did? Here? In the middle of Canterlot? After intruding inside the royal castle? Infiltrating a royal meeting of diplomats? You know that makes you a spy right? On top of that little thing you just did? You know what they do to spies right? You want me to leave you here, with so many guards around? With the ruthless Alicorn of the night to pass judgment? Well if you really want me to go away, never to return, just you here all alone with no one now but-'

No! P-please stay! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

'Sorry for what?'

"S-Sorry f-for t-telling you to go away." I swam in the sickness now like an ocean. Why did apologizing make it worse? It'd never done that before. It ran down my throat choking me. My entire body was covered in sweat, my body didn't want to move right, when I held still I began to shake. I didn't see any blood on me. I didn't see any dirt on me so I hadn't been in a fight, right?

'You really don't remember. Incredible. You know I've seen ponies do that before. Normally when they feel so ashamed of what they did when I gave them an excuse to act like their true selves they literally just shove all my hard work into their mental vault and move on. An annoying little cheat really. But you don't have anything to be ashamed of, or do you? You didn't have a choice, or did you? If you didn't have a choice, maybe you should feel ashamed for hesitating? If you did have a choice, maybe you should be ashamed for not finding another solution. Which is it you think?'

I don't know!

'That's a very good filly. A very very good filly. And hopefully that's the last of the annoying and petty delays.'

But what did I do?! The voice gave a chuckle.

'My dear if you can't remember, I don't think I'll tell you. Constantly trying to guess it is much more fun don't you think? So many possibilities. Now let's hurry along before adults start to notice. You're so close. We can't afford any more annoying side tracks.'

I hadn't expected my home to be visited by a foal I didn't even know. The maid said he insisted to see me personally.

It was a young pegasus colt. Skinny type. Brown mane. Color of cream. He... he... I'm sorry. This is difficult.

I didn't recognize the colt at first. He introduced himself as Featherweight. Even for a pegasus I can't say his name didn't fit.

The uncomfortable thing was how familiar he felt. But I couldn't put my hoof on it, like there was something terrible just out of the corner of my eye.

"So what brings you to my home, my colt?" I asked as politely as I could, trying not to show how unnerved I was feeling.

"I'm... I'm here to forgive you."

It all came to me like a flood. I knew where I had seen his face before. It was that day, the day of the chaos monster.

"Aunt May Flower said we moved away from Manehatten because she couldn't stand the chaos of the big city anymore." The little colt explained a bit later in my living room. I hadn't the heart to tell him what the chaos monster had done to his hometown. I had several business partners there who had informed me of the whole story, including the Orange Family, whom I'd met through the Apples. They'd lost an entire building to that thing's city wide skyquake.

I had Shiny Star (my maid) bring a can of colt-cola for him. I resisted the temptation to ask for hard cider for myself, I don't know if I'd be able to stop myself like this.

The colt had fled my estate after everything was restored, he had run away still covered in filth. Even after looking I was never able to find out who he was. Any clues had been swept away in the chaos and restoration. And believe me, I tried...

What? Did you think I LIKED that I had scarred a foal for life? That I hid in my closet and giggled to myself about it-?! I might not be the most upstanding pony, but I'd like to think I'm not that dark of a grey as to be expected of doing that!

Eh? Yes, he was alone. Why would a foal going around Ponyville on their own be dangerous?

(Interview's notes (Pegasus) Yeah, sorry about that. I've forgotten how beautiful Ponyville is like that.)

(Interview's notes (Earth Pony) Huh? How can you forget after we've talked to so many ponies?)

(Interview's notes (Unicorn) Don't judge her too harshly. It has been a long time compared to before. Please continue Onyx Tiara.)

Truthfully, it was more Featherweight's story than mine.

"Aunt May Flower said I should join some clubs to make some friends. I joined the Pony Scouts for one week because they offered free brownies... .I gave it up after... after the puzzle stallion hurt everypony." The monster hadn't exactly gone around handing out business cards with its name on it.

"You were selling cookies door to door?"

"Yeah."

"Even though everypony in Ponyville was turning into mad ponies?"

"I wanted to show I was brave. That I could do my job even when nasty stuff was happening."

Stereotype or not, Pegasi did not give up easily.

"What happened to your aunt?" I resisted the urge to facehoof at stupidly opening up an old wound.

"She kinda... sort of... spent the day making everything dirty and saying how much she loved spiders."

"I see... So you came to our home?"

"... I thought I could sell a bunch of cookies at once. But... but... -"

"You don't need to say it colt." I sighed, "I still have nightmares about it." There was no way in Pony Hell I was having the little poor colt recount that.

He nodded. From the look on his face, I could tell he'd had a few nightmares himself.

I might have been looking a gift horse in the mouth, but I had to ask, "What inspired you to come here now?"

He looked uncomfortable, but not in a scared or hurt way. "Well... after everything was fixed, I didn't feel like talking, at all, about anything. Aunt May Flower had to home school me for a little while until Miss Cheerilee said it was okay for me to write down my answers. I found out that I could be unnoticed whenever I wanted to be. As silent as a feather."

I noticed his cutie mark. A feather. Some stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Now I knew why he'd proven so elusive.

I first wanted to say 'Your special talent is not standing out?' But instead said, "That's very impressive." This colt was going to have an interesting future. I hope whoever got a hold of him first had good intentions.

"Thanks!" The pegasus smiled, "I'm really good at it too! I can sneak up on ponies and they don't even know I'm there! Now I know why nopony could ever find me playing hide and seek! Aunt May Flower wanted me to try clubs again now that I had my mark and I joined the school newspaper! I was really good at taking photographs: Diamond Tiara said so."

I nearly choked, that answered that, "Diamond?"

"Yeah. She got to be editor and told me to photograph everything and she never once complained... but Miss Cheerilee said the stories she was making us publish were mean so Diamond was made to work the printing press instead, the colt who worked the printing press got to take pictures, and I got to be editor. But he wasn't really as good as me, but Miss Cheerilee said so. It was also a little hard since I couldn't talk yet."

I'm proud of not spitting out my soft cider all over the place in shock. "What?"

"I couldn't talk since... since it happened, I got really good at hoof-language and mouth writing though."

"Oh," I said trying to string together something more than a one syllable response. "But-but you're speaking now."

"Yeah." The colt settled down some. "I said I couldn't talk after... after the puzzle stallion hurt everypony."

"No you said you didn't feel like talking."

"Well, it was a really really really really really strong feeling."

I had to remind myself I was talking to a colt not a stallion. "So, the doctors encouraged you to start speaking again?"

"Well a little, but they were focused a lot on Aunt May Flower, she was really scared of anything dirty for a while. I didn't really start speaking again until Princess Gaia's day."

"Miss Fluttershy?" Everything was startl to make a tiny bit more sense.

"Yeah, Princess Gaia. I got to be a Spider-Pony! And... it wasn't really so bad to talk anymore after. I felt like I mattered again. Uh. Does that make sense?"

"Yes it does," I said as politely and kindly as I could. I wasn't about to try to understand the logic of a colt. I had Shiny Star keep putting sweets inside him. "But, why did you choose today to... say that... that I'm forgiven?"

"Well, there were these three ponies, one my age, a mare, and a really old unicorn. They said they wanted to talk to me and Aunt May about how we were doing. And... they said you were really really really really really really sorry. And they said how everypony did things that weren't really them that day. And how with Diamond Tiara gone you were feeling really bad and... and... they said I could help."

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Yeah! We did a super-duper job. We were gonna include that in our report but we kinda ran out of room.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Actually, we ran out of time.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Kiddo, watch yer mouth! Ponies don't like it when they feel they're being played even if it turns out nice! They'll hate whoever does even if all it did was help them. Ponies turn into complete jerks like that.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): No. Just sensitive. Many can be allergic to help if they didn't ask for it. Acting as a go between for two hurt souls can often do more harm than good. Remember what we told you happened with Pinkie Pie and her song with the buffalo and ponies?)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Oh yeah, sorry.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Sometimes helping somepony means they don't know you helped them at all.)

"It's alright dear," I said, "This time, I think it very much did some good."

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Yeah? Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Ahem.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): oops, continue.)

You have no idea how relieved I was when Featherweight told me what happened and that he had forgiven me. I don't know if his guardian has. But what matters is that I thought all this time that I had traumatized a colt for life. That's two now I owe Miss Fluttershy.

Featherweight didn't stay all that long, and I can't say I blame him. But before he left...

"Can I see Diamond Tiara's room?"

That was out of the blue. "What?"

"Can I see Diamond Tiara's room please?"

"Why do you?"

"I just... wanna see what her room is like."

I led him there myself rather than have Shiny Star do so. I opened the door. He looked around for a bit, as if memorizing details. I had the maids keep it in perfect condition. If I was paranoid, I'd think he was going to write a school article on her. But, somehow I just didn't think he would.

He didn't go 'Ick Cooties' like a colt should. Something about his expression looked, sad.

"Thank you Mr. Tiara. I just, wanted to see what it was like." He looked confused. "Aunt May Flower always told me bad foals had bad homes. But you're not bad."

I think. I had provided my little princess with everything from the start. But how many times had my filly been told 'no' in her entire life? Had I or Golden even prepared her for when life wouldn't give her what she wanted? A princess who thought it was natural for the world to always go her way. What happened when the world didn't?

Cadence I understood.

I tried to say it in a way he'd understand. "Sometimes, when everything is hoofed to you, you don't appreciate what you have, and you don't realize everypony isn't supposed to serve you, and you begin to forget or not care that everypony has hearts too."

I will not accept in this or any other lifetime that there's nothing in my foal worth saving, understand?

"That sounds sad." Then he said, "I hope she gets better Mr. Tiara." Those words were like thunder.

"I hope so too, and you may call me Mr. Rich if you like."

"Yes Mr. Rich."

"Oh, and Featherweight?"

"Yes, Mr. Rich?"

"Don't forget the skills you picked up to communicate without speaking, I think you'll find they'll be quite useful in connection with your special talent."

He blinked, as if thinking about my statement. I think it sunk in as he smiled. "Alright, thanks for the tip Mr. Rich!"

And the colt left, helping himself to a few extra treats from the table along the way. Judging by his rather skinny body type, I assume he probably had a high metabolism.

I don't know if we can be counted as friends, but I'm happy to know that I don't have an enemy.

Barely an hour later the door bell rang again. And Shiny Star came in, looking very bewildered, and told me that the guest wasn't someone she recognized and who insisted they speak to me personally or to Diamond Tiara's mother. She told me the pony introduced herself as Alula.

The last thing I expected was for my home to be visited by two different foals on the same day.

Pegasus again, purple mane, cream hide, a filly.

Another feather cutie mark: Oy, I wonder if unicorns and pegasi felt this way about Earth ponies with fruit cutie marks.

I asked before I could stop myself, "Are you related to a pony named Featherweight?"

That question startled the filly. "Huh? Not last time I checked. My big sister's name is Cloud Kicker. We just go to the same school. Why you asking something like that?"

"Er, sorry, never mind. So may I ask who you are exactly and why you're here?" I tried the rather mechanical approach with my one lead defunct.

"I said I was Alula. I'm here to ask about Diamond Tiara."

I did not show my startle. In upper society and business hiding emotions is part of the game. "Can you be, a little more precise?"

Alula took in a deep breath. "My name is Alula. My name means 'winglet.' My big sister is named Cloud Kicker. We took part in this year's Sisterhood Social but we didn't win. I'm a member of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club. I dressed up as a space ranger last Nightmare Night. My favorite fruit is bananas. I was at Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera. My cutie mark means I'm gonna be a gymnast because I'm as graceful as a feather."

"It is lovely."

"T-Thank you." She then blushed furiously, "I-I kinda maybe hid it with a flower sticker when I first got it because there-there are just so many pegasi with feather cutie marks." Her eyes widened and she said quickly, "My big sister helped me see I was being a silly filly. I-I shouldn't have said-" She blushed more then blurted out, "I think Diamond Tiara is cool how she's always ready to take charge." I felt my mask cracking as she spoke.

"Mr. Filthy, why doesn't Tiara like herself?"

"What?"

"She'd say mean things to blank flanks, but was always smiling. So I, so I said mean things to a blank unicorn with a pegasus mom. And she stopped going to school. But I felt bad. Then Miss Cheerilee told me how these roller-skate ponies used to tease her too and I felt worse. So-So why does Diamond want to feel bad?"

My gut twisted. How was I supposed to explain this? Could I? I struggled to give Alula an answer she could understand. Explaining adult things to foals had always been Golden's job.

I gave the most sincere answer I could. Breaking the law of adults to foals, giving an answer I'm not proud of. "I'm afraid that is our fault... Diamond was given everything she wanted. So she came to think that was how the world worked. When it turns out it didn't, my little princess didn't know how to cope." I'll admit, it explained a lot, but hardly everything. Even I wasn't sure of that answer. Felt too simple. And ponies are not simple.

"... Big sister said she liked being mean. I felt sad a cool pony like her would want to be mean, so I gave her a card for Hearts and Hooves Day."

Her wings folded hard against her body.

"I was hoping if somepony was nice for her instead of just to her that she wouldn't be so mean." She sounded... wistful? "Then she... disappeared right?

"But it's been so long! I asked Silver Spoon and Miss Cheerilee but they didn't know. So please Mr. Filthy, do you know where Diamond Tiara is? When is she going to be back?"

I looked at this distraught filly, it was hard to hide my own dismay, "I... I don't know I'm sorry filly, I am, I don't know when she'll be back."

"Oh... I see." Her lip quivered.

"I'm sorry." Cadence, don't let her start crying, I couldn't bear it!

"When... when she comes back can... can you please... please tell her that I wondered how she was?"

"I promise."

"Mr. Filthy, am I, am I a bad pony for wanting to help Diamond be nice?"

"What would give you that idea?"

She lowered her head. "Big sister says bad foals only make other foals bad. I'm not bad am I?"

"No. No you're not. If a bad foal can make other foals bad, a good one can make other foals good." I'm ashamed, but I've heard Silver Spoon had been quite the bully herself thanks to Diamond. Thank Cadence those three fillies managed to turn her around. I pause before I continue, carefully trying to think what to say. "... Alula... thank you."

The little filly cocked her head in confusion. "For what?"

"Things have not been easy for my family, we've had problems and Diamond Tiara was deeply hurting... So thank you for being kind to her, that means a lot to me," I reply, trying my best to convey my gratitude for the filly's act of kindness. I have Shiny Star bring her some bananas, since she'd said those were her favorite.

She gave a small smile back. "You're welcome... Rainbow Dash says friendship is really important, so do all the Hearth's Warming Eve stories. So I try to be a friend if I can be."

I give a small smile. For years I believed those stories were lies to keep Earth Ponies docile. Now that I thought about them without my grandmother's ghost clouding my judgment, it's like hearing a story for the first time as a foal. "That's very good, you're a good filly... You said you don't know Featherweight that well?"

Alula shook her head. "Not really, he just moved here not that long ago, and he didn't really talk until Princess Gaia made everypony zombies for a day."

I was a little surprised by her statement on Miss Fluttershy, but more so due to her age than the statement itself.

"Well, he told me his aunt wanted him to make friends, probably since he was new to town. Perhaps you could try being friends with him?"

Alula nodded eagerly. "Sure, I guess I can!"

I gave a smile back and nodded. I began to wonder if all at once things had just turned around. Finding the way out of my own preconceptions (with your assistance, I cannot thank you enough) and renewing my friendship with Silver Tongue. Now a colt I believed I'd scarred for life forgave me and I find out that Diamond was not as universally hated as I believed. I'll be honest, I felt the only way things could get better was if Golden knocked on the door at that moment as herself and with Diamond in hoof.

++++

Howdy! Ah'm Applebloom! We've chatted before, remember? Ah liked to think Ah'm ah nice and polite filly: one who's a hard worker and stands by her friends.

After Ah found the good pony buried under them layers of tar inside Silver Spoon, Ah realized Ah had overlooked a very important friend of mine since last year. No, not Winona.

And not Ruby either, Ah tried to go with Fluttershy back there to try and help her, and Mitta too, Ah was scared stiff, but Ruby's mah friend and Ah owe her big time for helpin' us when Fluttershy went, crazy, and for helpin' AJ. But big sis won't let me go... Every time Ah asked, she just looked real scared and said it was too dangerous...

I tried to sneak along once... A-Applejack tied me to mah bed post the rest of the day with Winona's spare collar. She kept yellin' "Don't ya think we'd be sad if somethin' happened to ya?!" Then Ah had to do double shifts on the farm the next day. After that... Ah just asked Miss Fluttershy ta tell Ruby I still think of her and she's still mah friend. And ta tell Mitta she's a good pony and hope she has a good Cute-ceañera (AJ told me, and I'm done tee'ed off a pony got her mark before we did).

You know Ah didn't even remember it until just now, but me, Sweetie, and Scootaloo, when that nasty foal eatin' Nightmare Moon showed up we all hid under the same table! What do ya want? She was really scary! We didn't even ask what our names were, they, we just hid there shakin' in our hooves. It was the big dang end of the world brought by the boogeymare! Of course we were scared!

Guess that was our Sonic Rainboom.

If Ah saw 'em before how could Ah think Ah was the only blank around? Oh come on! You think I'm gonna remember seein' two ponies Ah hadn't met before? AJ and Rarity hadn't been friends fer that long, Ah didn't even know Sweetie Belle WAS Rarity's sister! I thought she was Miss Heartstring's filly. Shocked da heck outta me. And Scoot' didn't even start goin' to our school until after we became friends.

Okay, okay, maybe it was kinda dumb to think Ah was the only Blank Flank in Ponyville. Ah was feelin' really hurt. And Diamond Tiara's bullyin' made me desperate to earn mah Cutie Mark. Yeah, Ah took her stupid baitin', but that don't change how much it hurt fer this fish to get a hook in the jaw.

But ever since forming the Cutie Mark Crusaders Ah had neglected a friend Ah also held dear. And it was about dang time Ah fixed that.

"Nice candy Twist."

"Thank'th," replied the geeky Earth Pony. "I had kinda given up on you coming over to th'ry some." Twist realized what she just said. "Oops! Sorry!"

"It's okay... no, no harm done." Ah forced ah smile. Ah really couldn't blame her, it'd been nearly a year since I'd come to visit, maybe longer.

Ah overheard Rarity say that if Twist set one hoof inside her store Rarity would give 'er the mother of all make-overs fer free.

Twist wasn't the prettiest Earth Pony in Equestria, but she wasn't tryin' to be. She was polite and friendly, and that was enough fer her.

Ah was surprised when Twist spent so long talkin' 'bout that round colt who she made friends with on Hearts and Hooves Day. It's nice to hear her be happy after we spent so long apart, but somethin' felt different when she talked 'bout 'em. After hearin' her say fer the forth time he was cute Ah said.

"Hey Twist, Ah wanna say, the melody ya played with yer whistles made outta candy were really cool, and Ah'm sorry ya didn't get a medal at the talent show."

Twist smiled her pretty whites, "You're worried about that!? Applebloom I haven't thought about that in ages! Your friends and you did a hilarious job!"

"Thanks! What did you think about our comedy at the Gaia Festival?"

Twist tilted her head confused, "That was a comedy?"

New topic! "Twist, tha point is, Ah'm sorry we haven't been speakin' all that much. You were one of the first friends Ah had, and Ah shouldn't have just ignored you fer mah new ones." ... Ah didn't even come to check on 'er after Discord went and drove everypony mad...

Ah knew from what AJ had been up to after we went to Canterlot what that no good snake had done to Twist, how what he'd done made her have trouble even lookin' at the candy she loved makin' so much... Ah... Ah shoulda gone with Applejack to help her... But Ah didn't, and Ah feel like a no good polecat that Ah didn't.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Kid, I hate to break this to you, but you're just a kid! You guys pull off a miracle, but you weren't the only pony busy healing from your own hurts!)

"Don'th worry Applebloom, all's forgiven, naw, there's nothing to forgive! We were friends when last we talked and we're friends now! You made new friends, and so did I. Make new friends, keep the old, one is silver, one is gold."

"Hey! Speakin' of silver, maybe Ah oughta introduce ya to Silver Spoon! She's not a bad pony once you get to know her!" Ah said all enthusiastically-like.

Twist looked at me like Ah had asked her to eat live parasprites.

"Not a bad pony?! Silver Spoon? Applebloom, Silver Spoon is a BULLY! She's Diamond Tiara's little minion! She doesn't know how to think for herself! She's just a thug."

"Don't go sayin' that about her! She's-she's-" Okay, Ah couldn't really argue that, "That's the way she was before! She knows what she did was bad before! And she's sorry! Ah know she is! She just needed some friends to actually be friends with her!"

"Applebloom she's just bad news! Her and Diamond Tiara! Don't waste time on that brain dead stooge. I don't want to see you hurt because of them! She's only hanging out with you because Diamond Tiara's run away to make her dad feel miserable for being strict with her for once! The moment Diamond Tiara gets bored of wherever it is she's hiding Silver Spoon's gonna go right back to hurting you! It's like a parasprite eating! You can't change that! Please! They're just going to use this to hurt you worse than ever! They're ra'ths outta the same nest!"

No. Ah couldn't blame Twist fer feelin' that way. "Ah used ta feel the same way, but then Ah got to know her better. Ah know. An' it got me thinkin', maybe there's ah reason Diamond Tiara's the way she is too."

Now Twist was looking at me like Ah was eatin' live parasprites.

"There is, she's a spoiled brat! She hates other fillies for -breathing-. She invented selfish! Don't you remember what she made you and Sweetie and Scoots do with Gabby Gums? She made everypony in town hate you!"

"WE made everypony in town hate us! We came up with the idea of Gabby Gums, not her."

"AND she was the filly who made you not stop when you wanted to! Applebloom yer a great filly. I don't want to see you waste your kindness on a meanie like her. The fillies she hurt deserve it a lot more than she does."

"Yeah, but... she might be the one who needs it."

"Applebloom! Come... come on! She's a selfish little nag who doesn't care about anypony but herself! Ponies like her need to be stood up to! Not stood up for!"

"And there ain't nothin' ta say that Ah couldn't have been just like her."

Twist hugged me. She was almost cryin'.

"A-Applebloom! Don't say that! There's no way you could be like that awful Diamond Tiara or her pilot fish! You're better than her."

Ah startled, and Ah pushed back Twist's hug.

"'Better?'" Ah asked amazed that Twist could say that. "BETTER?! There ain't no such thing as a 'better' pony! Yer right! Diamond Tiara is a spoiled brat! Ah ain't sayin' she ain't! But thinkin' Ah'm better than anypony is the thinkin' she uses to be mean to everypony!"

"She's mean because she loves it! She's a Windigo on pony legs! Ponyville's nicer with her gone! Every day I kept hoping today would be the day you'd get yer cutie mark and she'd stop teasing you. But she wouldn't have. She just wanted to look down on others."

"An' if things had gone just a little bit different Ah would be the one bein' a jerk to everypony and her standin' up fer others."

"Please stop saying that 'Bloom! You're worth more than that! You always have been! You could never be like her!"

Ah sighed. Ah said sadly, "... Ah'm sorry Twist, Ah really am. But yer wrong. Ah don't think Ah'm supposed ta say how Ah saw it, but Ah saw it."

"Saw what?"

"The truth."

Me? 'Innocent?' Ain't been nothin' innocent 'bout me since that night in Everfree. Creepy Princess Luna said that not havin' mah cutie mark meant that big Truth fellah wouldn't show me nothin'. She was wrong.

Ah glanced in it, less than ah second, when Ah was gettin' Mah big sister's hoof outta them gears. Ah saw only one place. It was enough. Ah done mah best to not think about it. To pretend it wasn't there. After all, Ah had what happened that night I met Ruby to be scared of more. No Ah ain't got no fancy super-vision mah sister talks about when she thinks Ah can't hear her. But what Ah saw, Celestia Ah just pretended Ah didn't see it.

Ah didn't get a chance fer any fancy details. What Ah saw was enough.

There was me, but not me! With an apple shaped ruby for mah cutie mark. With mah hoof on top of Tiara's head, pushing her face into the dirt, her flank was blank. Speakin' in fancy the other Applebloom said, "You are just like your family: nothing, you hill billy hick!"

Ah didn't know back then Diamond Tiara's family came from the country like mine...

'Diamond Tiara' wasn't wearing her big-crown-thingie. All she had on was a small cloth necklace. "'An' yer less than nothin'."

The other Applebloom's face twisted somethin' ugly.

"Come on AppleGem!" Called out Silver Spoon.

"Coming!" AppleGem shouted as she trotted along as Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle helped 'Diamond Tiara' to her hooves.

Ah said ta mahself it was some fancy smancy upside down land. That was just some dream Ah had when scary Princess Luna told me to sleep. No way Ah could have ever been like her.

Then Family Appreciation Day happened. And Ah learned both our families were country folk. Ah didn't think about it, Ah found out how great mah Granny is and Diamond got her just desserts.

Then we started helping Silver Spoon. And Ah learned she was just another filly, that the Silver Spoon Ah saw clappin' for Granny Smith was the REAL Silver Spoon all that hogwash was hidin'. And Ah told her Ah was sorry for thinking her and Diamond's cutie marks were worthless.

Ah still don't know what that blank Diamond Tiara's name was. An' Ah still don't know what made our families switch roles like that. I don't know if Ah want ta know. But... Ah finally stopped trying to think Ah didn't see it after Silver Spoon showed there was good inside 'er.

In tha present Twist was speakin', "Applebloom you're not making sense."

"Family Appreciation Day." I lied, sorry Applejack, "Mah family and hers started out the same. Ah saw it clear as day, if Ah was born with everythin', could ya really say Ah wouldn't turn out spoiled?"

"Applebloom, whatever you 'saw', it wasn'th real. I know it wasn'th."

Ah wanted to tell'er the truth so badly. But Ah was on thin-ice as is.

"Ah'm sorry Twist, I really am." AppleGem is just another me Ah coulda been if things had been a little different! She's probably the one who ran away in her world right now while that Diamond is havin' this chat with yah. Ah'm sorry to say this, "But ya can take the same pup from the same litter, and raise'em completely different-like, and it won't be the same dog."

"We're not animals!"

"No we ain't. We got ah choice."

"And Diamond Tiara made hers."

"And Silver Spoon made a NEW choice! And Ah bet she can too!"

"She doesn't want to."

"Ah don't think anypony's bothered to ask."

"She'll just use you. Like she used you before. And hurt you again."

This cattle drive is goin' in circles, time ta find a new route. "Ya know, even when we did those articles on Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and mah big brother and sistah, I threw out the idea of doing an article about you Twist."

"Thanks." She said honestly.

"And when we gave Diamond Tiara a story about Silver Spoon, she kept comin' up with excuses not to put it in."

"Of course. She's the only pony who thinks Diamond Tiara's as great as she says she is."

"Twist. This was after Diamond Tiara threw out her friendship with Silver Spoon."

"I... I always figured that was a show or something."

"And that makes sense how?"

"Er, so you'd feel sorry for her and she'd lead you into a trap to get humiliated?"

"Twist. What Diamond Tiara said to her broke her. We had to drag Silver out of her shell kickin' and screamin'. That ain't how bait acts. And now that she's outta that shell, she's right nice and I'm proud she's my friend."

"And you think we're going to be playin' spin the bottle with Diamond Tiara next?" She asked drolly.

"The point is, there is some good in her. Ya know Diamond's the kind of filly to kick a pony when they're down, but she turned it down because Ah think deep down she still wants to be Silver Spoon's friend but she's too stubborn to admit it. A lot like Ah couldn't kick Tiara when she was down."

"Huh?"

"The day after the apology letter we gave to everypony, we got a letter that had been posted the day before, Ah mean, it had to be posted right before we tricked Tiara to post our apology. It was from this fancy smancy tabloid writer in Canterlot called 'Bunny Day' or somethin'. Ah think Ah saw 'er with Twilight. She wanted to take us all on as understudies she said. She said she loved the article we wrote about Princess Celestia and the cake. She said we could have a bright future working with her."

"And you turned her down?"

"Like duh!"

Twist sighed. "'Bloom. The point is that Diamond Tiara is a lost cause. Any good in her is a speck of something shiny in a sea of slime. She's spoiled rotten. She's just rotten. In case you didn't notice, but she was getting worse and worse! She went from just teasing you to outright trying to hurt you. Clapping for Granny Smith doesn't make Silver Spoon a good pony, and Diamond Tiara just tried to hurt you both! You said so yourself she hurt Silver Spoon. She was a little monster becoming a big monster."

"And Ah felt the same, before. And yer right, ever since we met she just kept gettin' more selfish and cruel. She just stopped doin' it 'round Sweetie. But if Silver Spoon can be pulled outta the muck. Ah ain't gonna write off her best friend either.

"Just think what would've happened if we hadn't stopped where we were headed as Gabby Gums. If we'd taken that tabloid lady's offer and become professional bullies for the rest of our lives? Laughin' at 'em both as we made it big."

Then it hits me. Ah think, the big thing hits me. The kinda thing so big it flips around and you don't even realize it's there. "Twist, what kinda adult do you think yer gonna be?"

"Eh?"

"What kinda adult do ya wanna be?"

"I... I never really thought about it. An adult who can make candy all day and... makes others happy with it? I guess?"

"Ah don't know what I'm gonna be yet, but Ah know one thing, Ah don't want to be a school yard bully all grown up, and Ah don't want Diamond Tiara to be either. Ain't it better for everypony, to save Diamond Tiara from turning from a bad kid into a worse adult?"

"That's her parents' problem. Not mine, and not yours."

"This is Ponyville. It's everypony's problem. Everypony knows everypony else, and everypony cares about everypony else. And if she ain't saved from becomin' a worse adult, she will be everypony else's problem."

Ah switched gears as Twist tried to figure that out, "Hey... yah want to hang out with us sometime? All five of us Ah mean."

Twist looked confused. "Five?"

"Silver Spoon and Spike, yah know, Miss Twili's dragon assistant at the library? They both hang out with us now. Spike's our friend and Silver Spoon's got her Cutie Mark, but she don't exactly know quite what it really means yet, so she's crusadin' to find that out... Ah promise that Silver Spoon has changed for the better, please just give her a chance." I turn on the 'puppy dog eyes' full blast.

"... I guess... For you, Applebloom... but I can't trust her, not yet."

"Ah don't expect yah to. That's somethin' yah gotta earn... " And Ah figured Ah needed to make myself a trustworthy friend to Twist again, and it'd take some hard work. But hey, us Apples love hard work.

++++

After Alula left, she spoke to me. Huh? No, unfortunately. If I meant my wife I'd be dancing on the ceiling. No her, my younger maid. Shiny Star.

"Sir. I hope you'll forgive me, but we need to talk. About a lot. I didn't think you'd listen until I saw how you acted with the Pegasus foals."

She sounds so serious. Just her tone-of-voice makes me feel instantly exhausted. I'm in no mood for a serious chat. Nonetheless, I tilt my head, silently signaling her to go on. My unicorn maid bowed, licking her lips nervously. This wasn't the nervousness of a servant.

I tilted my head. "And that would be?" I said slightly nervous.

"Golden hired me before your daughter was born, when I was desperate for work Sir. She gambled on me having nowhere to go, and I didn't leave even when your grandmother turn you into something you weren't."

"Is that still the case?" I ask. "You're here because you have nowhere to go?"

"No. I'm here because I'm grateful to Golden. And to you."

"To me?" I can't stop my wry, regretful smile. She bowed again.

"Even back when you suspected me of being a spy for the Princess, you let me stay."

"Believe it or not, for the longest time, I was determined to 'catch you in the act.' Out you as Celestia's spy. But you never fell for any of my bait."

"I assume you're referring to all those manila folders stamped 'Top Secret?' that kept popping up under the pillows?"

I laugh and nod. My fantasies may have gone a bit out of control. Me: the would-be counterespionage ace! She quickly joins in. For a little while, all is good; silly memories, water under the bridge, just good laughs. Then that horrible serious look returns to her face, and the laughter stops instantly.

"There's more Sir."

"Should've known. Please speak freely."

"One morning, I woke up, and my floating talking cutie mark told me that everything green wanted to hurt me like, like a green stallion once had. My cutie mark made a... very convincing argument... I hid from the house plants. You found me and touched me, and all I knew was that I loved you unconditionally and existed but to give you pleasure." She spoke so formally, so controlled, she kept her voice so even.

"So... here we are at last." I say softly. "Finally turning to acknowledge the five hundred-pound dragon in the room."

"If this is a bad time, Sir... "

"No, no!" I glance around the quiet, private room. "Dragon's got to go some time. Might as well be now."

And so she continues her story.

"Then... the rainbow came and, I was me again, Sir. And I had you inside me... we all screamed."

I bow my head. "For what I put you through, ALL of you through... I apologize from the bottom of my heart. Evil spell or no evil spell... I had no right to lose control of myself. I couldn't be any sorrier."

"I know. I saw your disgust, your guilt, the moment we all were sane again. Day after day, I watched you try to destroy yourself."

"Heh. Must've been fun to watch. Saved you the trouble of having to plot revenge against me."

"It WASN'T 'fun to watch!' I wasn't making it up when I told you you tried to hang yourself, I came in right as you were about to jump off the balcony with a bed sheet noose around your neck and caught you with my telekinesis, then held you up until White Wash could cut your makeshift noose," she snapped, and I go quiet. And she hadn't once tried to use saving my life for favors. She takes several steadying breaths. "I'll never forget how that transformation changed me. Not just physically... but mentally, emotionally. And... if even the SMALLEST SPECK of what I was made to feel for you, as your wife's double, had any semblance whatsoever to the real Golden Tiara's heart... well, Sir... she loves you more than anything. So I stayed on. For her sake."

"For HER sake?"

Wide-eyed with incredulity, I drew closer to her, speaking in a near-whisper. "And all those on-again-off-again late nights we shared... up in my bedroom, were those for HER sake, as well?"

"Actually, yes." Her answer couldn't be more matter-of-fact. "My hair and my coat... don't they resemble hers? If that's what it takes to keep you loyal to her... so be it! Somepony had to step in after your daughter, it was her, drove away every Earth pony maid you hired simply because she resembled her. I felt dirty."

It was like I forgot how to blink. "Lady... you are something else." I breathed, shaking my head. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry I put you through all that... "

"The chimera brought out sides of me I never knew I had." She looked away from me. "Then Princess Gaia gave me one day of my stolen foalhood back Sir. And I finally understood you. And Golden as well. I only regret I didn't get a chance to play with you both before the day ended. And I forgave you Sir, and myself, because I know she did too. There's more."

"More?!"

"Diamond Tiara had been visiting her mother in secret with my help."

My mouth went dry. "Am I to understand that you have been escorting my young filly into the nuthouse? Behind my back? Multiple times? Where the crackpots and degenerates have been locked up, so as not to pose a threat to anypony else? To see her mother?"

"She needed an adult to be allowed to just talk to her through the door."

Somehow, I am able to bring myself to face her calmly. "Please understand where I'M coming from when I ask: have you ever given thought to committing YOURSELF there?!"

"Sir, everything I've done, I've done with your family's best interest at heart. Being apart was killing both of them! You didn't SEE how your foal was turning from spoiled to sadistic! Did you think isolation was making Golden any saner? Diamond was the only thing keeping Golden connected to the world! You weren't doing ANYTHING!"

"Ask Princess Cadence if I did NOTHING! And you do realize that, as much as I would wish otherwise, that sanitarium isn't an impenetrable fortress? That my poor wife, bless her heart, has a well-established history of ESCAPING there?"

"You mean how golden escaped, repeatedly, to see you and Diamond and left peacefully afterwards?!"

"YOU IDIOT! The doctors, who normally just agree to disagree, all agree her self control during her 'home visits' is a farce! Did you wonder maybe there was a bloody reason I kept the entire staff away from her when she came-?! Or why the doctors would only let Diamond speak to her through a locked door!? And she isn't its most violent patient! I haven't been the most attentive of fathers, but I know that there are better ways to correct a wayward daughter than delivering her STRAIGHT INTO THE LIONS' DEN!" I was roaring my loudest. "DID YOU EVEN THINK TO TELL ME?!"

"YES! Several times! To your face! You didn't listen! You didn't want to see your wife breaking down, and you didn't want to see that your last living reminder of her was corrupting herself!"

"... Excuse me, while I write up your severance package. Let's see now, years of live-in service-" I moved behind my desk.

"... If that's the case Sir, then I think you should also know... do you know Rarity Belle?"

I didn't look up as I crunched the numbers. "Friend of Applejack's. Owner of that Carousel Boutique place. Prefers the tactic of making loyal customers and having her dresses advertise themselves rather than being shrewd in her money. Her name's appeared in magazines and I was thinking now of adding her dresses to Barnyard Bargains' clothing department." I stopped writing. "Why? Where does SHE figure into all this helter skelter?!"

"Rarity was giving your daughter free sewing lessons before she vanished. We knew how you'd react. Diamond wanted to buy a dress but Rarity taught her instead how to make a dress for her mother all on her own as a birthday present! Surprised you never saw the needle pricks around Diamond's hooves and mouth."

"... And how did it come out?"

"Beautiful, sir! You should've seen the look on your wife's face! For just a short time, Golden Tiara sounded like herself again! And for just a moment, I saw Diamond Tiara let go of the monster on her shoulder."

"... You're rehired, for now. I need to leave, when I come back... you and I need to have some serious WORDS."

"Where are you going?" Shiny Star asked, as I swept past her.

"Rarity's." I shut the door. Then reopened it.

"Any more revelations you'd like to blindside me with before I go? I'm secretly adopted? My tax consultant is actually a robot from the future in disguise? Dentists have been the world's superpowers all along?!"

"I threw out all the regular coffee months ago. You've been drinking decaf this whole time."

"I'M NOT LISTENING! I CAN'T HEAR YOU! LALALALALALALA!!!!" I scream, while racing down the stairs.

You! The Pegasus again! Extraneous you call all that? To me and Shiny Star it wasn't. You didn't care for it at all? Well I did. For the first time in a long time, I'm finally on the trail to the truth.

To Be Continued

Episode 61: "The Third Alicorn"

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Pony POV Series

Celestia

The Third Alicorn

OPTIONAL CANON

By Kendell2 and Alexwarlorn

WARNING! SPOILERS FOR ROYAL CANTERLOT WEDDING AND PONY POV SERIES: ORIGINS!

My sister's Night Court was just beginning. The sun had been set and the moon raised. I thank Mother and Father I have Lulu back for many reasons, including that I don't have to function on catnaps as Princess of both the Day and Night anymore. I don't physically need to sleep, but it still does wonders for my sanity. Just as a settled in to read Twilight's latest friendship letter, a knock came on my door. "Hmm, now who could that be?"

As I open the door, I am greeted, for the second time at such a late hour of the day, by my pupil. Only this time, she does not appear to be in a tizzy over discovering horrifying secrets no mortal should be forced to know from a book which shouldn't even exist, only... somewhat confused, uneasy.

"Why, hello My Faithful Student," I reply. "I didn't expect to have you visit me again so soon. Not that it isn't a pleasure to have you visit."

She shifts uneasily at my gaze. No, not at my gaze, at the thing on her mind. "Hello, Princess Celestia. And I know... I just had something on my mind. It's been on my mind for a few days, since we... had our talk."

I give her my full attention, that's something I didn't expect. Well, something I should've expected but hadn't. I had cut our conversation short due to the time after all. "And what you want to know is an answer only I can provide, correct?"

She nods slowly, looking up at me. I can see the admiration in her eyes, but also some fear, or uncertainty. But it's not of me, thank Mother and Father. "Yes."

I give a nod of my own in turn. "Come in. I'll make some tea."
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Once we're set down with tea on the table, Philomena sleeping on her perch nearby, I break the ice. "Alright, My Faithful Student, I promised you there will be no secret you cannot ask me, minus the details of the war, or any war for that matter, and I will keep that promise. What is it that is on your mind?"

Twilight doesn't reply for a few minutes, I can tell whatever it is frightens her by the look in her eye. Finally, she looked up at me. "You said that one of your sisters... One that you last saw just before you came to Equestria... That her name was Cadence... " she explained, serious. "Was that Cadence my Cadence who was my foalsitter when I was a filly?"

I give a smile, finally she asks something I can happily tell her. "I wondered when you would finally get around to asking that question, Twilight, I practically gave you the answer already," I reply. "Yes, Princess Cadence is indeed my sister, Cadence, the 14th, Concept of Harmony and Music... But that idea scared you, didn't it? That's why it took you this long to decipher the truth?"

Twilight nodded, fear clearer in her eyes. "Cadence... she was one of my best friends when I was a filly... One of my only friends... She taught me a lot of really important spells... Including one that was really important... "

I give a small smile. "The Memory Spell you mean."

Twilight gave a small nod.

"Yes, I remember... "

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I peaked through the door to Twilight's room. I'd had Cadence tutor Twilight when it came to emotional and mind magic, since Twilight was having difficulty with those areas. She may have been a great student, but everypony has areas they need extra help with.

"Alright, Twilight, this spell is very important," Cadence told her, still a teenager at the time. Her voice was calm and warm, like she always used to talk to the foals she watched over. "It's related to my signature spell in a way."

Twilight looked up at her with her typical excitement, both at Cadence's presence and at the prospect of learning a new spell. She took out her notebook, Smartypants beside her with "her" notebook as well. "Really? That spell? The one you use to make ponies love each other?"

Cadence shook her head. "Twilight, I don't make ponies love each other, that's not a good thing to do... trust me on that. My signature spell repairs the bonds between ponies. This Memory Spell could be considered an aspect of my spell, it reminds ponies of what's important to them."

"And what is that?" asked Twilight, taking notes as she listened.

Cadence chuckled. "That's a good question... here, let me show you... " she said, putting her horn to Twilight's head, her horn glowing blue as she cast the spell. "What do you see?"

Twilight closed her eyes as the spell did it's work. "... Me being with my mom and dad... with you and with Celestia... And with Spike... I see everypony I care about."

Cadence nodded as Twilight opened her eyes. "And that's because we're all the most important thing to you. If you lost sight of that, that's what the Memory Spell would bring to your mind, to remind you of what matters most to you. But it doesn't just do it with people, it does it with other things too. Like if somepony really loved writing, but became sidetracked by something to the point they lose sight of their passion, the Memory Spell would remind them of how much it mattered to them."

Twilight blinked, then nodded slowly. "Oh, I think I get it!... Um... " Twilight looked down. "Do you think, maybe... "

Cadence pulled her close and put a wing over her shoulder. "You want to see your parents, don't you?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah... now that you reminded me of them... "

Cadence gave a warm smile. "Alright, let's go send them a letter and have them drop by."

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"When you sent me those letters and reminded me of what mattered... " said Twilight, giving a small smile. "It reminded me of what Cadence said about the Memory Spell, how it reminds a pony of what's most important to them... I realized that if being reminded of what was important to me restored me, reminding my friends of what was important to them with the Memory Spell would probably free them too... "

I consider telling her I did not send the letters, but I don't... One revelation at a time. "And that was very smart of you, Twilight. I wish I'd thought of it three thousand years ago."

"Thanks...I just wish I'd made better use of the Want It, Need It Spell..."

"Yes, I'm certain Cadence did not teach you to use it in that fashion, but you did go temporally insane thanks to the trauma Discord inflicted on you, so you weren't exactly in your right mind," I reply, trying not to make her feel bad. Yes, she messed up, but I'd be a fool to blame her for an act committed during a momentary lose of sanity, I've seen Discord's work before, she's fortunate it was only temporary. "Please, continue, my faithful student. Why did it take you so long to ask me this question?"

She looked up at me fearfully. "Because... now I'm afraid... afraid that she was keeping something like what you told me from me all this time...She's the closest thing I had to a best friend when I was little... I was scared that... that my Cadence is a lie... That she'd just fade away and there'd be just this stranger... " Her eyes misted up.

I smiled. "Twilight, I never stopped loving Mimic as my mother on Earth, or the Paradise ponies as my family. You should have realized that."

"But-but Discord... "

"Twilight, Discord's case was very unique. Dissey's... Dissey's choices in Equestria, and the choices he made before he came, were so fundamentally different that neither part of him could accept the other as a part of himself. As for Cadence hiding something from you, she has hid nothing. She doesn't know any of what I told you."

Twilight just stares at me. "What? But she's-"

"Exactly like me and Luna were when we were born into your world," I explain. "Cadence has no memory of the Alicorn/Draconequus War, her stand against Havoc's Avatar, or any of it. She also has no knowledge of the events three thousand years ago, or even one thousand. Her mortal form is barely any older than Shining Armor."

Twilight blinked in confusion. "But... how is that possible? I... I thought she was the Alicorn Princess in the Hearts and Hooves Day myth... Teacher, are there... any more of your family in Equestria?"

"I'll let you know as soon as I do, my student. Or maybe you already do. Hopefully, this world will have already matured by the time waves of change begin again."

"Alright... then who was the Alicorn in the Hearts and Hooves Day story?"

I can't help blushing. Of course she'd bring up one of my family's most humiliating of moments. "Well... It's a long story... " I reply, but she just looks expectantly at me. "It actually happened before Discord's reign, during the time of the three tribes."

Twilight blinks at me in confusion. "But how... it calls her a princess, but you and Luna were the first Alicorn princesses."

"Hearts and Hooves Day is one of the few holidays to have survived from the pre-Discord Era," I explain, trying not to look as embarrassed about the story as I really am. It wasn't me, of course, but talking about something humiliating a sibling did can be just as humiliating as doing it yourself. "Ponies have associated Alicorns with the princess position for nearly two thousand years. So naturally when one turned up in an ancient story, the story mutated and dubbed her a princess. It was one of my siblings... I won't tell you which, it's too embarrassing... "

"And?"

I actually blush. "... I'm sorry, Twilight, but this is my sister we're talking about. Someone I looked up to and respected... "

"And you don't want to say something about them that would humiliate them if they were here?" she asked, looking up at me.

It's my turn to simply nod in response.

She nodded too. "I understand, I'd feel the same way about it if was a part of my family."

"Thank you, my Faithful Student."

"Just tell me this, please. You said the Draconequi effectively had reign over the world back then. So how could she have even come to Equestria in the first place?"

"And that was one of the reasons they were given that right to begin with... when my sister assuming a vulnerable material form... it's part of the reason we didn't do so very often at all, even if dying in material form is meaningless...in a manner of speaking."

"... And the dragon... "

"Was her Draconequus partner's mortal form. It's a long... long, humiliating story."

"... I see... But back to the point, how can Cadence only be as old as Shining Armor? Everything you told me, it happened over three thousand years ago, so how did this happen?" Twilight asked me, clearly confused.

This time I sigh, I should've seen that question coming. It pains me because I can't provide an answer. "I'll tell you the honest truth Twilight, I have no idea. Neither does she... I'll tell you all I know of how the Cadence you know came to be, Twilight. This is actually one story I have no problem telling you. It's actually one of the happiest moments I had in the thousand years Luna was imprisoned."

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It was before you were born, Twilight, but I remember it perfectly. Alicorn memories do not fade, something that is both a blessing and a curse. Since my sister was still imprisoned, I stayed up both day and night, catching only catnaps in-between when I could manage. It was honestly lucky the stress this caused me didn't drive me insane. I don't need to sleep, my body can function without it entirely, it's my mind that needs sleep's embrace.

It was a winter night when I heard the news, the day before Hearts and Hooves Day. I had just risen the moon and lowered the sun like I did everyday, and was taking my coffee break before Night Court began its session when I heard a knock on the door. "Come in," I called, having been used to such happenings day and night. When one rules both day and night for nearly one-thousand years, you become used to it. Believe it or not, there were assassins who were polite enough to knock, I'll have to tell you that story later, my faithful student. It's actually quite humorous.

My Earth Pony guard entered. Despite what some racist Earth Ponies think, there are a large number of their tribe in my Royal Guard, it's just mostly they remain at the castle when I travel, so they're not often seen.

"Your Majesty," he said, bowing.

I bid him to rise. "Hello, isn't about time for you to be heading home for Hearts and Hooves Day?" I ask. Obviously, the entire Royal Guard couldn't leave for the holidays, but I was fair to those who had good reason to leave.

He nods. "Yes, I was just getting ready to end my shift, but an important message arrived for you."

"Oh, I see. In that case, please tell me the message so you may get home to your wife, I'm certain she misses you."

"Yes, I'm sure she does... I've received word from Blue Song, she had her foal a short while ago."

Blue Song was one of my nieces, well, technically speaking, my multiple times great niece. After the eighth great, I just dropped the greats altogether with my realitives. I knew she'd been expecting a foal, so I wasn't really surprised, yet.

"Oh, that's very good news, is it a colt or a filly?" I was quite excited though, after all, no matter how far the line, that child was still family.

"A little filly."

"Ah, and I suppose it's a unicorn."

"No... "

That surprised me, but I knew her bloodline had both the other tribes in it, so it was possible. "Oh... Pegasus?"

"No... "

"Oh, then it must be an Earth Pony."

My guard looked to be trying to make himself as small as possible. "... It's all three."

Of course, I had chosen that moment to take a drink of my coffee, which I promptly spat in a random direction. "WHAT?!" I used the Royal Canterlot Voice in my surprise, then calmed down enough to realize it... and that I'd spat my coffee on Philomena as she sat on her perch. "S-sorry... "

Philomena merely sighed and heated herself off to evaporate the coffee.

He took my reaction surprisingly well. "It's fine, your majesty... As I said, the filly is... like you, an Alicorn."

I was, for lack of a better word, speechless. Twilight, that should've been impossible. And that's coming from someone who witnessed Destruction blow up a black hole from the inside out. Even if there were still other Alicorns, they'd have been born as one of the other tribes, but most certainly not an Alicorn. It was only Galaxia's intervention that allowed myself and Luna to be born Alicorns on the mortal plane. A mortal pony, under very rare conditions, can become an Alicorn, but that was something I'd only seen in the Truth, and never in a newborn foal. It wasn't just not possible, it was so impossible that it escaped all the possibilities I'd imagined happening, and you know how many I have.

I didn't manage to form a centuries old plan to redeem my sister by only planning along one path. I certainly didn't only plan for at least half the Elements of Harmony to already be living in Ponyville. Or rely on Nightmare Moon subconsciously helping fire forge your friendships. I dared not expose Cadence to The Truth when she was old enough and I'm not Rota Fortuna, I cannot see the future. And yet, this impossibility had just happened. I hadn't been so shell shocked in over a thousand years.

"A-an Alicorn... " I finally stuttered out. "Blue Song's daughter is an Alicorn?"

He nodded. "I couldn't believe it myself, Your Highness, but that's what the message said."

I nodded slowly, finally coming out of my daze. "P-please s-send a letter to them, telling them I'll be coming to see my new niece tonight," I replied, in a distant voice. I had so many thoughts running through my head. Twilight, at that point, I was the only Alicorn on Earth. Galaxia had been... had been murdered by Discord and Luna was a Nightmare imprisoned in the moon. And then I'm told there was a new Alicorn! My mind was going through every possibility from a mutation who wasn't a true Alicorn to a new sibling of mine. "Then please get home to Silver Platter, Silver Axe... "
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My chariot descended through the snowy night, the Pegasi drawing it looking straight ahead, a unicorn standing directly in front of me, using her horn as a light to guide us through the night and the snow. My guards and I would normally have simply flown ourselves, but the storm required a unicorn to light the way for us. I didn't blame anyone for the snow storm, I had known it was scheduled in advanced. Normally, winter is over before Hearts and Hooves Day, but that year there were bad insect infestations, so a brief run of winter weather was put in place to drive them off. In retrospect, I find it fitting that the beginning of the end for my family had begun in snow and ice, and the occasion of that day would as well.

We landed near my niece's house, she and her husband, Bright Blood, lived not far from the palace, but I'm required to have an escort most everywhere I publicly go. It's a burden, but necessary. I'd much rather have my guards have to disable an assassin than do so myself, not because I can't protect myself, but because I'd protect myself too well. I'm a goddess, sometimes even I'm afraid of how powerful I really am. And I never want to kill one of my little ponies, even one who seeks to do me harm.

I disembarked my chariot, flanked by the two guards who would guard the door, leaving them there as Bright Blood let me in. He was a white unicorn stallion, a little uptight, but goodhearted. At the time, he looked tired, but proud and relieved, which was understandable, considering the situation. "Hello, Aunt Celestia, it is good to see you. We didn't expect you tonight," he replied, giving a light bow. Sometimes it feels so good to have family that actually sees me as family.

"Hello, Bright Blood, and I understand that. Normally I would come tomorrow, but... is it true? Is your daughter an Alicorn?" I ask, trying to keep the disbelief out of my voice.

"Well, she certainly looks the part," he replied, I could hear pride in his voice. The pride of any new father. Twilight, I know it doesn't seem like much, but to hear a father describe his newborn daughter as an Alicorn, but not behave any differently than a normal father warmed my heart. He loved her no matter what she was. "But you're the closest thing we've got to an expert on that... "

"I'll be able to tell... " I reply, but could already feel it. The energy radiating from Blue Song's bedroom, it felt... familiar, but I couldn't put where I'd felt it before. Due to the snow, she'd had to have her child at home, so the energy still hung in the air from the magical pulses the birth had given off.

"It was surreal," Bright Blood told me. "Blue Song absolutely demanded to be alone to have the baby. She said she had to. She looked ready to headbutt me! She actually attacked the doctor when he wouldn't leave! She tried to leave the house, and wouldn't stay in with all of us for nothing. Obviously, we couldn't let her have the foal out in the snow, so we all ended up standing out there while she had it in the room. Thankfully, we'd already sent all the workers home for the night before the storm came in. And now the doctor says her magic has been completely drained. I could feel the magic pulses she gave off clear outside... Is that... well, normal? I mean, you're the only Alicorn I know, so I don't know... "

I gasped lightly. Yes, Twilight, it IS just like when I and Luna were born to Mimic. It was the energy given off when an Alicorn is born, but it's significantly less than when a pony evolves into an Alicorn, that's the only reason I can think that I didn't sense it happening when it did. "Y-yes, if she is truly an Alicorn, that is perfectly normal, at least by my knowledge. It happened when I was born, my mother was compelled to be away from everypony to have the baby, it's just how it is... May I see the foal?"

"Well, Blue Song is really tired, I mean really tired, but let me check with her."

Yes, Twilight, he didn't say "Yes, Princess Celestia", he put it in his wife's hooves. Unlike with most ponies, who respect me too much for it, I try to have some degree of personal relationship with my blood family who live in Canterlot. Not nearly as close as I would like, but close enough that they know I don't expect them to treat me differently when I make a personal visit. I'm family to them. Besides, if Blue Song was as exhausted as I was told my mother was giving birth to me and Luna, then he had every right to deny me access if she wasn't up to it. I didn't tell him, but giving birth to an Alicorn or Draconequi in their true form is incredibly strenuous to a mortal, Shady nearly died having Discord and Mimic, a unicorn with far more magical reserves than Blue Song, was left completely drained by mine and Luna's birth. I found out later it took nearly a year for Blue Song to be able to use even rudimentary telekinesis again, and the doctor had had to do some emergency care to save her life that night. Meanwhile, I think Bright Blood absorbed some of the excess energy gave off. He's always been much more powerful after that day.

While Bright Blood went in to get his wife's permission to enter, I thought about the energy I felt. It felt so familiar. I just couldn't put it together... I'm pretty sure it was just my mind trying to avoid dividing one by zero and telling me a supposedly impossible truth. You know how hard your mind sometimes fights against something you've believed was impossible Twilight, and this was something I had thought was impossible for three thousand years.

Bright Blood emerged from the room after what seemed like an eternity. "Alright, come in please."

I enter the room, the feeling increases. The room felt like friendships forming, like the entire room was in perfect harmony. Like the harmonic bonds between everything were being pulled closer together and strengthened. You may have felt it around Cadence when you were a filly, but this was far more intense. I could tell by how they looked at each other that Blue Song and Bright Blood were more understanding of each other than I had ever seen them.

Blue Song was curled up on her bed, looking up at me with that tired, but happy smile a mother who just had her foal always has. But I could see her muscles struggling just to keep her head up to look at me, and the bandages covering her lower body from the doctor's emergency operations to save her life. Blue Song was a sweet, blue furred unicorn mare, had a heart of gold. That's something I really liked about her. And she could sing like an angel too. "Hello, Auntie," she said in a hushed voice. I could tell from her voice she struggled to have the energy just to say that. Bright Blood trotted in and stood by his wife's side.

I gave her a genuine smile. "Hello, Blue Song," I replied, keeping my voice down in case the filly was sleeping. I waited for her permission to come closer. No matter how much I wanted to see the newborn, a mother's right to decide the affairs surrounding her child was one I refused to trample upon.

"... Please, come closer, but please be quiet, she's sleeping."

I slowly approached the bedside, looking down at the bundled little foal next to her. When I got up next to her, Bright Blood followed me and uncovered the filly... And I think my heart skipped a beat.

There laid a newborn filly, with wings and a unicorn horn, her pale fur pink, her little tuff of a mane multiple colors, purple, magenta, and cream, her wings having a gradient to them. Her Cutie Mark, yes, her Cutie Mark that she already had at close to birth, just like me and Luna, a heart shaped jewel with golden trim. My brain finally divided by zero.

"Cadence... " I whispered, eyes wide as I stared down at the sleeping little filly before me. The filly who was once a mare that I had last seen locked in mortal combat with Havoc's Avatar. You have to realize something Twilight, if Havoc had won that fight, he'd have utterly annihilated her. There was no way, as insane as he was at the time, that she could've challenged his power, lost, and been spared. I had given up hope of ever seeing her again. Now she was right in front of me, a newborn. I can't describe how that moment felt... Imagine the feeling one has when their baby sister is born, then combine that with the feeling a pony would have when their older sister comes home after they disappeared for a long time. Multiply that by a thousand. It didn't even enter my mind to think of the hows or the whys. My sister was alive! But I did manage to restrain myself, but only barely.

"Auntie, you're crying," I heard Blue Song say, sounding shocked.

I wiped the tears from my eyes as best I could. "It's alright... It's just been a very long time since I've seen another of my kind... She is an Alicorn, there's no doubt about it... What's her name?"

"Mi Amore Cadenza, Cadence for short... it just came to me... " Blue Song said, looking down at Cadence and weakly nuzzling her to keep the foal content and reassure her that mother was nearby. She didn't even react to her foal's impossible cutie mark, as natural as her wings and horn.

And that confirmed it. "That's a beautiful name... " I reply. "And she's beautiful... "

"Thank you... "

Bright Blood nodded, leaning down and nuzzling Cadence, then looked thoughtful. "So... will she be able to move the sun and moon like you when she's older?"

I shook my head. "No, I am the personification of the day... there are reasons I now rule the night, but she is not Day. At present, there's no way to tell what she'll be... But I know it will be amazing," I reply, telling only a half truth. After all, even if I knew what powers Cadence would most certainly manifest, I couldn't tell them without revealing things about their daughter they needn't know.

Now that my mind caught up with itself, I began thinking of what it could mean. Twilight, there's only one conclusion I could draw; the only way Cadence could've escaped that battle with her life is if she had won. And Havoc's Avatar would not have lost the battle unless he was mortally wounded. I couldn't fathom that until I connected it with what he did with Discord. Even insane, Havoc wouldn't have just allowed his Avatar to be devoured, he was too prideful for that. He must have not needed it anymore, or couldn't use it anymore. Since Cadence evidently survived and he'd cut off all paths to his own realm from the battlefield, meaning his Avatar was the only way he could physically interact with his remaining children, the latter was the only logical conclusion I could draw. This made something else make sense as well, that Discord was not stronger than he was. Havoc's Avatar couldn't even manifest on our plane due to the power contained in it, meaning Discord wouldn't have been able to either. But if it was weakening, dying at time, then Discord only got a fraction of a fraction of Havoc's power. No matter how much my mind fought it, the only logical outcome was that my sister had mortally wounded Havoc's Avatar! And I still believe that to this very day.

My thoughts were broken by a tiny yawn. I looked down to see the little Alicorn blinking sleep from her eyes. Then those little purple eyes looked up at me. Our eyes met... and I realized something I had known all along. That those eyes were my sister's, but they weren't. They had her spirit in them, but they had an innocence. They were the innocent eyes of a foal who hadn't yet seen the world, who was curious and interested in everything she saw. I felt my heart sink a little. I knew then that, while my sister was inside that little body, she wasn't the same. She was like me and Luna were three thousand years ago.

But then, the little one giggled and clapped her little hooves together. Cadence looked up at me happily, but curiously, as if she was trying to figure me out. Twilight, the reason me and Discord's infant self got along so well was that a part of me remembered and missed the friendship I once believed I had with him, even if I wasn't consciously aware of it. I recognized the look in Cadence's eyes at that moment as the same I saw in Luna's eyes when we first laid eyes on Discord's infant self after we were brought to Paradise Estate following our birth. Eyes of someone who remembered something we just couldn't truly remember, full of curiosity and a vague confusion. As I said, Alicorn memories never fade, even if parts of it are buried so deep we can't consciously remember them.

I lowered my head to be eye level to her, so she wouldn't be scared. She gently put her tiny hooves on my muzzle, feeling me. She then backed up a little, against her mother's belly to get a better view of me. I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit. "Hello, Cadence, I'm your aunt, Celestia," I said in a warm tone, as warm as I could manage. I was sorely tempted to say "sister" but I decided against it. All things considering, the less Blue Song and Bright Blood knew about their daughter's past, the better.

Cadence giggled and smiled, hugging my muzzle with her little hooves, then yawning widely, being only a newborn after all.

I decided it was best to let her get back to her dreams. I had much to think about myself as it was. But still, I decided to check one last thing. "Blue Song, may I sing her a lullaby?"

Blue Song gave a nod. "Sure, that would be wonderful."

I nodded, then begin to sing.

"My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
Isn't it time we started home?
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
Who ever dreamed how far we'd roam?
Crickets are calling, evening is falling,
Over the meadow and glen.
My Little Pony, My Little Pony,
When will I see you again?"

I sung it several times, looking down at the little foal's eyes. I saw a spark. I saw something in her reach out as I sang. Naturally it would, after all, she had wrote that song several millennia ago, during the First Age. If I sung you a song Minty had sung in the time that never was, you'd probably react the same way because she's a part of you. She smiled brightly, as I always did feeling the sun's warm rays as a foal here in your world, and slowly sunk off to sleep.

I didn't take Cadence away from her parents, I didn't exert much control over her life in her early years outside of spending precious time with her. But I did make sure to deeply ingrain the responsibility her powers would come with in her mind. How vital it would be not to abuse them for selfish or stupid reasons. I did tell her of some of the times my stupidity had harmed those I cared about, though mainly ones since I came to Equestria. As you know from Nightmare Whisper, a child having the power of a goddess is a very dangerous thing if they don't know how to use it properly. But most importantly, I and her parents made certain she would have a kind heart to not misuse her abilities selfishly.

I don't know if you've read of it, My Faithful Student, but Cadence's birth causes another shockwave. We tried to keep her secret, but most of the unicorns in the surrounding buildings had felt the magical overflow released when she was born. By the time I'd arrived to confirm it, half the city already knew. The tabloids had a 'gold rush' with it, but I couldn't bring myself to let "Sunny Day" fan the rumor that she was a mutation, a foal who had absorbed a twin in the womb and grown wings as a result. I just couldn't make my niece, and sister, a freak Twilight, I just couldn't do it. We did try to hide her wings at first, but that didn't last long, unfortunately.

So, I finally publicly announced that, yes, there was another Alicorn. Reaction was... not what I hoped it would be. Remember, not everypony thinks the best of me. Some wondered if I was going to drown the newborn Alicorn in her sleep or send her to spend her life in a convent. Others suggested I was just going to make her lifetime ambassador to Neighpon. Cadence did indeed end up spending much time abroad, but for very different reasons. Not that it mattered to the paparazzi and tabloids. What your three little friends, "Gabby Gums" wrote about me was the nicest thing any tabloid generalist had ever said about me, so you know they jumped on me with this fact for all it was worth.

I dreaded to think what Nightmare Moon would have done to her if she had found her, or Discord had discovered he now had three Alicorns to torture again, let alone one of them being the one who mortally wounded the being a sizeable portion of his power came from. She may be a mare among ponies, My Faithful Student, but she's still young among the beings who would see her harmed if they got the chance. Someday, she will be a goddess with great power, but for now she's a child who doesn't know the power she truly wields. She is mature enough to be considered an adult, but still young as far as my race goes.

I also had to make sure the nature of Cadence's magic was revealed gradually, least she be swamped by desperate ponies begging her to make somepony else fall in love with them. Not that she could.

I did make her a Princess, like myself and Luna, because I knew it she had as much a right to it as we did, after all, if she hadn't held off Havoc, we'd never have made it to Equestria at all. And she had mortally wounded his avatar, which had it's own benefits. Even if it lead to Discord's reign, as insane as Havoc's Avatar had become, and as much influence he had over the universe, she may have simply left us with the lesser of two evils with Discord.

The main problem was to think of a way to explain it to the masses without making myself seem to be showing favoritism based on her sharing my species. Thankfully, she had plenty of right to the title by blood, as she was descended from my sister's blood. I was also able to convince them as her power grew that she had a similar dominion over something in our world as I had over the sun and moon, which was the truth. So the elites agreed to make her my fellow Princess.

I'd be lying if I said Cadence wasn't the envy of her cousins, Twilight. I imagine she connected more with me, and the foals she oversaw along with their familes, than she did many of her own relative. Of course, many of Galaxia's descendants have claimed the title of 'Prince' or 'Princess'. And I've done nothing to stop them. Few ever do anything with their authority other than use it to boss others around in childish ways that ultimately harm no pony but themselves. Some actually do good with it, I'm truly proud of them, but for many, it's simply a way to elevate themselves. But Cadence, Cadence was the first pony I had actually GIVEN the title to. Something about that simply made it a bitter pill for them to swallow.

Once her true powers began to awaken, I did have her come to live in the castle so I could instruct her more closely, having the same set up you had with your parents when staying with me.

I should point out, Twilight, that Cadence's power isn't exactly love, that was Venus' territory, Cadence's domain is Harmony. She can repair the bonds between ponies, not create them, at least not with a wave of her horn. And it isn't just love she can repair, but all types of bonds. Sadly, at first she didn't understand this. She actually "invented" the Want It, Need It Spell all on her own, I had to tell her it already existed, that disappointed her. Still, she managed to find some good uses for it. Yes, believe it or not, that spell does have positive uses.

One thing that didn't, however, was her attempt at creating a love potion, she ended up recreating the Love Poison from the Hearts and Hooves Day tale, and spiking the punch with it at a royal event. She was a filly at the time, she didn't know she was doing something so wrong. She thought it'd spread love, not cause mass hysteria, or leave me in love with a zebra ambassador until Cadence managed to teleport him so far away that I couldn't find him in an hour. And unlike everypony else, I could clearly remember everything I had done, as I said, Alicorn memories don't fade. I didn't think such a curse could affect me like it did my sister, but I didn't count on it being empowered by Cadence's magic or that she would think to do this during an eclipse. I had to spend the next three days curing all the victims and finding that ambassador. It was lucky he was understanding enough of the situation not to ruin our relations with his homeland.

The amount of trouble I had to go through to make sure other nations and the Canterlot elite didn't think I'd brainwashed their dignitaries left me was a pounding headache, and don't get me started on the one what the tabloids gave me when they had a field day with it."

"I thought you didn't get headaches, teacher."

"So did I."

"Oh... "

That said, Cadence was still punished so she wouldn't dare do it again. She also dared not sit on her royal rump for a week... still, it was the only way she'd learn.
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I looked down at the filly before me, after her mother had given her a proper spanking for her misdeed. I was not smiling. She had her head down, sniffling, scared. I looked at her sadly, disappointed. "Cadence... Do you understand the trouble you've caused? How much more you could have caused?" I asked simply. She nodded, not lifting her head to meet my gaze, ears pinned. "And you know that was a very bad thing to do, a very bad thing, and an abuse of your powers, correct?" I asked, another nod.

"I... I just wanted to help, Auntie Celestia... " she responded, finally breaking down crying. "It... it's just, I see you raise the sun and moon everyday... you do what you are... But I don't even know what to do... I'm love, aren't I? So what am I supposed to do? I don't know... I tried doing something I thought would spread love, not... not cause what happened... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... " she sobbed, tears streaming down her face.

I sighed, resisting the urge to put a wing over her back. "Cadence, you are not love. You've repaired the bonds between friends. You're harmony. You are to bring ponies together, repair the bonds between them when they're damaged, rather it be mother and daughter, brother and sister, best friends, or lovers. But you have to realize, you can't force a bond on anypony, you have to let it grow naturally. You can help ponies do that, but you can't force them to. And you can't force yourself to learn what you're meant to do, that will come with time. You have to learn how to use your gift, the responsibility that comes with it, before you can even think about spreading that gift to the world. Do you understand?"

She sniffled, looking up at me with tears in her eyes. She gave a small nod. "I-I'm sorry... "

I smiled and kissed the top of her head. "I know... And I forgive you. But you're going to have to earn forgiveness from the ponies you geassed. Okay? And as punishment, the maids are getting the day off tomorrow, you're going to scrub the entire castle, top to bottom. Inside and out." I was tempted to add that she had to use a toothbrush, but I decided that'd be overkill.

"I understand, Auntie Celestia, and I'll make it up to those ponies... I promise... "

And she did... but she still had trouble knowing how to help bonds grow naturally. She needed to be taught, and experience was the best teacher. I had her begin foalsitting, both to give her experience building bonds with new ponies, and to teach her some humility. You've been informed of how my sister once acted due to hubris, I did not want our niece to go the same route. She loved the job. She was very good with foals, and learned how to use her natural powers to settle fights between them, but she still didn't click with anyone... until she came back one day, talking about a certain shy, socially awkward purple unicorn filly she'd set for that day.

Cadence grew up, and began working as a dignitary, her powers being useful in cooling hotheads when talking with our allies, and potential enemies. It's not a permanent position for her, but until she's old enough, by Alicorn years, to rule next to me and my sister, it's what she will do. She's done a lot of good for Equestria, and our allies. She's spread friendships among the world, between us and a large number of foreign powers. She's done more than enough good to make up for her mistake, at least in my eyes...

When you and your friends liberated my sister, it got a little confusing. The problem wasn't so much explaining there were three Alicorns as it was confirming to everypony that I was truly over 1000 years old and the two of us were an old pony's tale come to life. Luna was, as you can surmise, as shocked as I was to discover our sister had survived. I had to convince her that keeping Cadence ignorant of her past was in Cadence's best interests by reminding her why Galaxia didn't awaken us until she had no choice. While you were in Appleloosa, I had Cadence make a quick return trip to Canterlot just for Luna's sake while Luna was still recovering from her purification. And Cadence had her first meeting with her long lost Auntie.

-------------

"Aunt Luna, why are you crying?"

"Oh... it tis nothing, dear niece... It hath just been so long since our eyes have beheld yet another of our own race at all... let alone a new one... "
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"Princess... Could you really restore her memories if you really wanted to?" Twilight asked, looking up at me.

I simply nod. "Yes... I could."

"... Then why haven't you? It'd make you feel better, wouldn't it? You and Luna?"

I sigh, of course she'd ask that. "Yes, it would... but I won't do it. Because, Twilight Sparkle, I don't want to steal her earthly life from her," I explain, trying to explain it in a way she'll understand. "Galaxia didn't take mine and Luna's from us until it was absolutely necessary, and for good reason. She wanted us to live, to enjoy life with our family and friends. I think if the good Discord had triumphed over the original, she'd never have restored our memories at all... Twilight, none of this changes a thing about your relationship with Cadence. The Cadence you remember so fondly was not an illusion. Even if I did restore her memories, she'd still remember you. Just like I remember all of my old friends. It would change nothing. Even before I took you as my apprentice, Cadence talked about you. She was elated when she found out you'd be coming to live in the palace. You were her favorite foal to sit for, because you were the one who she bonded with. You were, are, her best friend, and nothing will change that."

Twilight smiled up to me. "I understand... Thank you, Princess... "

I smile back and put a wing across her back. "Any time, Twilight Sparkle. Anytime... And thank you."

She blinks at me. "Thank me? What did I do?"

"I want to show you something," I said, looking over to a book shelf and taking out a letter, with a crystal heart as it's seal, Cadence's personal seal. "Cadence sent me this not long after she heard I sent you to Ponyville to learn about friendship."

I open the scroll and begin to read. "'Dear Aunt Celestia; Zebrafrica is lovely this time of year, the diplomatic mission is going well. Thank you for sending Shining Armor to be my bodyguard, it's nice to have a very dear somepony here with me. He's been strangely looking over his shoulder lately but won't tell me why. Do you know? I hear Twilight is staying in Ponyville, that you've given her an assignment studying friendship. To think, that little filly saved the entire world, I'm so proud of her... Twilight studying friendship, are you sure she needs to study it? When I was little, when I didn't have anyone I really connected to except you and my parents... She was the first one I really clicked with. That I really came to think of as my friend. I think she was the one who taught me an important lesson; how it feels to actually form a real friendship... And that's a lesson I use a lot out here on this trips, forming friendships between Equestria and these other places... I owe Twilight a lot...

Love, Princess Cadence'."

I look up at Twilight, who has tears running down her face, but a smile on her muzzle. "That wasn't so long ago, Twilight... Still worried Cadence will suddenly become a stranger?"

My student shook her head. She looked at me through tears of joy. "No... No I don't... Thank you, Princess..."

I give her a smile. "It was a pleasure, My Faithful Student."

~Fin

Episode 62: "Mind games Part 5"

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My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Mind Games Part 5

'One little lesson my dear, it takes a pony seeing their beliefs be totally smashed to atoms to make them change them, if they survive the breakdown that will inevitably result. What's better, is if you really want to shatter someone, break them so completely there is no hope of them recovering, show them the one thing they can't justify in a million years. Tear down all their little excuses one by one, brick by brick until all their deepest held beliefs come crumbling down. There are few things as devastating and entertaining as that.

'Shattered souls make hilarious decorations and playthings mind you, but they don't really have any drive or surprises of their own, you have to micromanage them like robots, which was totally boring. Broken souls can be churned out in bakers' dozens! You want minions? Direct their passions my dear! Make your passions their passions! Speak to them in terms they use, with concepts they grasp, lead them along with what they want, and above all, telling them what they want to hear! Save the soul breaking for the ones who afterwards are going to be more trouble to keep around than they're worth, that way you can have your cake and eat it too.

You see, when someone's beliefs are challenged, their base reaction is not to question them, but to become more of a zealot in them, just a fun little defense mechanism built into the brain to prevent someone from feeling hurt in the face of reality. This leads to the ultimate weapon my dear and is not to be taken lightly.

'Dragons, ponies, all the same, will do anything to justify their view and feelings before changing their beliefs. Say anything, do anything, think anything just to stay in their comfort zone.

'If you do something nice for somepony you dislike, you begin to wonder if that pony isn't so bad after all since otherwise that means you made the wrong choice by helping them. If you want something, but aren't able to get it, you tell yourself it isn't worth having so you don't have to feel bad.

'Did that very important pony just say that bumpkin I insulted is a fashion genius? I didn't really mean it. I was just joking. It was just an off hoofed comment. Where do I buy one of her designs?

'The Wonderbolt I just bet on has a poor track record? Well, after all those losses they're due for a win right?

'Cheating is bad? But I just cheated? It was just one test. It made my parents happy. It won't affect my grade that badly. I needed it.

'I just stole something from work, but stealing's bad, but I'm Me, and Me is always a good person. The shop won't miss it. I need it more than they do. It's not like I'm hurting anymore.

'That pony is my friend and so much better at magic than me? Magic's not that important, or I didn't have the education she got, clearly I'd be better than her if I got the same treatment.

'My friend can sense the future? Must be a trick, a bunch of coincidences, a cold reading like scam artists use. Anything as long as I don't need to accept a school of philosophy outside my own.

'Every pony in their heart thinks, 'I am an intelligent, rational, reasonable, morally-right person who's making the correct choice.' And will tell themselves any lie to protect that thought. Especially if you've just built up their ego by telling them how deserving they are. Building their ego up can serve a lot of purposes, other than setting them for a spectacular fall like a pretty house of cards. Few things are as blinding as a sense of entitlement.

'I just bought something that the newer model of was available at the same price across the street? Well the older model is more reliable.

'A doctor who makes a mistake that may or may not have killed a patient will tell themselves anything as long as it means it wasn't their fault or they don't need to admit to anypony. Anything to stop that guilt from eating away at them the rest of their days, and facing the consequences of being incompetent.

'The best part is how if you pay a pony one bit for a boring job they'll say the job wasn't that boring, but if you pay them twenty bits they'll admit it was boring since they have the money to justify doing it. And if you give a bunch of colts a few bits to play ball, you'll find out they're not as interested in playing ball later now that they've been paid for it since playing ball itself is no longer the reward. It stops being a hobby and becomes work, believe me, I've been there. You see? It's about yourself. Always and every time. Me, me me.'

Shut up.

'What? You want to actually leave this-'

All you ever do is talk. Shut up. I've done this before. You haven't. So shut up.

Heh-heh. You want me to do this? Then let me do this. You said it yourself, if you could do this yourself you'd have done it already. If you didn't need me then you wouldn't be talking to me! I want my mom back! I want my life back! So I'm going to do whatever, whenever, however, to whoever you want to get it!

HA! I got my cutie mark doing this before! How many places have you snuck into? None I bet! Silver Spoon have I gotten into more places than this guy? I have? Good! See? Silver Spoon agrees with me! She always agrees with me! That's what makes her my best friend! I'm Diamond Tiara and I don't ever make mistakes! Because I'm perfect just like mama says! So that means I'm gonna get through this! Right Silver Spoon? Right! I think she's much more interesting in conversation than you! So there!

I was annoyed when the voice actually clapped. 'Excellent my dear. Nice to see you so focused. Much better than before, not as fun but time for that later. Now let's go for the gold already. We aren't settling for silver or bronze! Not that I can't say without lying that our time together has not been the most sweet I've had in a thousand years.'

Huh?! Silver?! Where'd you go? You were right here right? Wait. How long had she been here? But she was here, right? I mean right. She was here. She must, she must, she must have wandered off. That's all. Right. I don't need her. I don't need anyone. I just need mom. I just need dad. I just need Silver. How could she abandon me like that. I'm sure she'll apologize when I get back. She'll...she'll get on her hooves and knees for calling me worse than a blank flank and she'll say how sorry she is, and say that now that she has her mom back everything is fine so there's no bad feelings between us!

Oh my my, it's been a while since we had a nice chat. If I didn't know any better I'd say you were avoiding me. When was the last time we spoke? I think the last time we talked was when you asked how I came to know Fluttershy. It's strange how ponies can start calling you best friends when you simply chose once a week to have the spa treatment with them. She was like a flower when she began opening up to me, slowly, delicate. It was wonderful to have that first conversation with her there, she knew it was just between us, she realized she could trust me, she could speak and not be afraid.

I'd go through Tartarus or high water to see her safe and happy, like any of my friends, as they would too. Everyone calls me her best friend when it's Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash who are always looking out for her and Rainbow has known her since they were fillies. The one time I did something with her best interests at heart, all it did was make us both miserable...Well, yes, I did make her Gala dress for free, but I did that for all of them.

And...thank you, very very much for asking me about Fluttershy during her, sickness. You think I wouldn't notice? Girls, you might as well have flashed a neon sign telling us to look for her. Thank you for helping us. If you hadn't, we'd all have been trapped in Nightmare Whisper's fog long before we realized something was wrong.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): No no no. Thank you! For saving Fluttershy!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Yeah it...it means a lot. And tell, ugh, Fluttercruel thanks for helping save'er too. And if she thinks she can punch me in the nose again I have a hoof sandwich waiting for her!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): We express gratitude at you being able to do what we could not.)

Oh. Well, you're welcome. It was a pleasure. I lie. It was the second worst day of my life, I felt like a part of me died that day, like I lost something, no, something came between myself and all the ponies I know. And I'd do it a hundred times over to save Fluttershy again.

I wasn't able to support her when she was struggling with the tornado, gossamer wings are too fragile Twilight said. And, seeing me with butterfly wings would probably have reminded her of Nightmare Whisper. That and...well, I don't believe I need to go over what happened last time I had them, do I? I won't lie and say the spell did that to me. Like Pinkie Pie told me after the incident with that...delicious cake, I listened to little greedy Rarity telling me to be the center of attention instead of little generous Rarity telling me it was Rainbow Dash's day and I was there to support her.

And I liked Fluttershy when she began to stand up for herself, and was horrified when she turned into a bully along with half of Ponyville. And it was Pinkie Pie again who did the saving while I only threw in my two bits with everypony else.

Spike and I were the ones who had to help Twilight be able to look in the mirror again after New Fluttershy hurt her. That's supposed to be Applejack and Pinkie's department. It was awful, why does poor Twilight have to pretend she's not sensitive? Friendship is something new and beautiful for her, when it's tarnished, it hurts even worse for her than for us. Thank Celestia that it happened now instead of right after Discord was defeated, if us just laughing at the wrong moment drove her that crazy, I'm terrified what New Fluttershy said would've done.

Oh yes, I am delighted that Fluttercruel wanted to model for me. Maybe I was being selfish because it meant I was also spending time with Fluttershy. No, I meant it when I asked Fluttercruel if she wanted to model dresses. You didn't hear this from me, but she has a ferocious grace like Trixie has, Trixie's however is like fireworks, while hers is like a desert wind. I never ask her to let Fluttershy come to the front. I only speak to Fluttershy to greet her and bid her good day. I'm uncertain of what Fluttershy does in their mind while Fluttercruel models, she doesn't make Fluttercruel blush or faint during our sessions.

I am happy she's chosen to model. I just didn't expect her to be so different from Fluttershy! I wonder if there's a spell that'll switch dresses when they switch, it won't do for them to wear something clashing! Her body language, her expression, her darker colors. Even if her eyes are the same color there's just something not the same about them, something more feral. She is most definitely not merely a recoloring of Fluttershy. I had to rethink all my designs for her. For some reason she likes black pearls, not that I mind, they look positively beautiful with her colors. Her scars haven't been a problem, in fact, with some designs I try to use them to give her a more rugged look.

One thing was clear, she loved doing this for me. This wasn't a chore to her, it was a delight. She enjoys every second of it. I'm pretty sure even if I didn't pay her, she'd do it for fun (What? You thought I wouldn't pay her? I'm not about to take advantage of a friend like that). I didn't have to instruct her much, she said with Fluttershy's memories it was easy. I have half a mind to say she should have gotten a modeling cutie mark of some sort.

I was... quite shocked by what actually happened a little later.

Instead of seeing Fluttercruel bite their tongue to stop Fluttershy from denying her the opportunity, I watched as Fluttershy's colors and Cutie Mark spontaneously replaced Fluttercruel's, a bright smile on her face. "That would be very nice Rarity. It's great you're giving Fluttercruel a break like this."

And as suddenly as she jumped in, Fluttershy retreated, leaving me and Fluttercruel staring at each other, our jaws almost to the floor at a loss for words.

It probably shouldn't have surprised me, Fluttershy at least thinks of Fluttercruel as her daughter, (she screamed as much at us four who accused Fluttercruel of Fluttershy's actions as New Fluttershy), and what mother wouldn't want her daughter to do what she loved? Her origins don't matter to Fluttershy, so unconditionally accepting, forced on her or not, Fluttershy loves her.

I'm still not certain how they're going to handle their dual existence publicly, but I do know that Celestia had Fluttercruel made two birth certificates and associated paperwork: a real one for the Day of Chaos when she was 'born' and the other sharing Fluttershy's birthday, in case they decide to pass Fluttercruel off as Fluttershy's twin. It is their choice as to which they shall do. Regardless, Fluttercruel is now considered no less a pony by Canterlot than she is by us.

I still wonder how the two divide up their time now that Fluttercruel is trying to have a life of her own rather than simply going along for the ride. A single lifetime between the two of them, I wonder how they can stand it, but they don't seem to mind it, if anything, they seem to embrace it. I just hope there's still time in it for us to be friends...

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Rarity. You are Fluttershy's best friend.)

What?

(Interviewer's Notes: (Unicorn): Rainbow Dash is her oldest friend. And Pinkie Pie is protective to older Fluttershy like a big sister, family. You opened the door. The only living thing Fluttershy spent whole afternoons with before you was her animals. You taught her to be with ponies, not just creatures she took care of.)

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): Girl had no spine. She was never going to reach out unless somepony did it for her. And Pinkie was too oblivious and Rainbow was self-alienated.)

(Interviewer's Notes: (Earth Pony): Ya kept her from thinkin' animals were better than ponies. You saved 'er from bein' a hermit. You helped her break her egg shell.)

I... I think I'm blushing, I am blushing. I... I... thank you.

(Interviewer's Notes: (Pegasus): No. Thanks to you Rarity. You taught her to be kind to not just animals, but ponies too who before had either dragooned her, hurt her, or ignored her. You once lost yer link to 'Shy, and that wasn't pretty.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Negative, negative, why do adults always have to be so negative? Rarity made the pink and yellow flower bloom! Now the whole world gets to see it! And it's the most beautiful flower I'll ever see!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Do not sell her own heart short, it's as beautiful in its own way, like the rest of you Rarity. You have a talent for bringing out the beauty in things, that includes ponies and yourself.)

I thank you. That was wonderful to hear. I think I feel a little lighter inside, but fuller too.

When the Flutters left, the guest I got was the last pony I ever expected to see within my shop.

"Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, how may I help- Mr. Filthy!-er, Mr. Tiara-?!"

The expression he gave me couldn't have been more flat. "Either name will do."

"Er, yes yes of course!"

"I would like to discuss some long-term business matters with you. Do you have time?"

"Why-why-why of course I do! Tea and scones?" I had learned to stop offering muffins after Derpy Hooves kept slamming into my window. Thankfully I've reinforced them, Sweetie Belle staying with me so frequently required such things. You'd be surprised how long it took to find a layout for my shop where she couldn't knock one thing over and somehow wreck the entire room.

"Don't mind if I do. Do you have Zap Apple jam?"

"I-I might have one jar stashed away somewhere." My heart was racing, at least I wasn't sweating. Diamond Tiara's father was here!

I was alarmed and elated!

His store may have been a bargain store, but it was also the most frequented store in Ponyville, if I was able to get him to sell my non-custom designs there for any price, there's no telling how much business it'd bring in for my custom works.

But this was Diamond Tiara's father. What should I say? What could I say? Should I offer my condolences for her disappearance? Or not mention her at all?

I settled my poor nerves as I set up for my guest.

A few minutes later, I tried to find the best way to break the ice. I locked and loaded and rapid-fired natter like a gabbling-horn. "Nice weather we're having isn't it? How was this week's hoof-ball game? Did you hear Sapphire Shore's latest album? I designed the dress she's wearing on the cover! Is that a new tie? Read the newest periodical from Sunny Day? Did you see the dragon migration? Spitfire was promoted to Captain of the Wonderbolts did you hear? They say Prince Blueblood and Sapphire Shores are seeing each other! There's a new theory going around of a lost tribe of bug ponies, what do you think? The new Ponies Of the Carribean is out this summer are you going to go see it?"

Ha! Pinkie Diane isn't the only pony whose shot-off mouth can pierce tank armor!

"What are you, one of those interviewers?"

"Ha!" I laughed not missing a beat. "Do I look like I have a purple coat to you? This unicorn is a natural white."

The way he looked at me, it was like a general adjusting his catapult to launch a giant pie at the enemy stronghold. So I acted the Princess building up the walls of said stronghold to protect it.

"Applejack mentioned you had a little sister once. If I may ask, what happened to her the day of the chaos monster?"

That sounded like a very subjective 'may.' I narrowed my eyes. En garde. "She was turned into a mute, pony-sized doll. She tried on every dress in the place, then...I believe she said your daughter came, now a doll as well. And...they exchanged plastic body parts...and then just danced together."

I saw his eyes widened ever so slightly, he hadn't known that. I felt a bit too good putting this proud stallion a bit off kilt. But at the same time, I felt guilt stab my heart I'd used poor Sweetie and Diamond to do it.

"Diamond refused to say anything about what happened. Nopony could get a word out of her. She just smashed her own dolls and screamed. She sent one of our maids to the hospital by hitting her in the head with one."

"Thankfully Sweetie Belle threw out hers less violently. I saved them for part of her healing process. My sister is very important to me, Mr. Rich, I'm sure you understand."

"I see. What do you think of Canterlot's elites?"

Where did that come from? "I love high society, the fashion, the glamour, the refinement...high society -ponies- on the other hand. Well, depends on the pony really. I've met awful and wonderful members of Canterlot's elite and royalty."

"I can't stand their 'better than you' attitude. As long as you're born into the right family you're superior to everypony else."

I was surprised to hear that out of Ponyville's biggest local business stallion. Then I remember what some of those elites thought of Ponyville. "Now don't go judging every pony in Canterlot. I won't lie and say they're all saints, Diamond Dogs are better company than some of them, and believe me, I've dealt with both. The Diamond Dogs were easier to form a business relation with." He happily laughed and I politely laughed back. "But I've also met ponies in Canterlot who are perfectly reasonable and downright friendly."

"I haven't."

"I will have to introduce you some time. You get a good shield knowing the right ponies. I happen to be rather close friends with the unicorn to know in Canterlot, I'm sure he'd love to meet you and I am very certain you would benefit greatly darling."

"Perhaps I would. What sort of things did Diamond say about me?"

Oh dear. "W-wh-what? Why would she say anything about you? And to me, of all ponies?"

"Well, SURELY she must've said SOMETHING, during all those secret sewing lessons you were giving her."

I put down my cup and assumed my most dignified, refined, and mature poise. Can't blame me for not wanting to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Mr. Rich, I swear your daughter came to me, of her own free will. So if you have any cockamamie ideas about me being part of some crazy unicorn conspiracy to kidnap..."

"As far as grandiose unicorn, pegasus, and Alicorn conspiracies go... I've pretty much renounced all that hoopla." He spread Zap Apple jam on his scone. "You can thank the interviewers for that. Seen the light. No longer think you six are a tyrant's enforcers. Sworn off letting prejudice and paranoia get the best of me. All that jazz."

My heart skipped a beat. "Oh? You have?"

"Yes. Oh, and thank you for saving the world from madness from beyond."

"T-thank you, it was nothing really... " No I wasn't surprised he knew, there's a difference between saving the world in Ponyville square than in Everfree Forest.

"Though I'm sorry to say, that I HAVE uncovered a conspiracy playing out right under my nose... just one of a much smaller scale. It's comprised of my domestic servants, my daughter, the staff of our local insane asylum... and you, Miss Rarity. All keeping secrets from me. Acting behind my back. Leaving me in the dark."

I didn't know what to say to that. Onyx Tiara munched on his scone.

"But I digress. Let's bring our conversation back to my first question: what sort of things has Diamond Tiara said about me to you?"

"My apologies, your reputation precedes you...She said almost nothing about you. She barely mentioned you. She was confrontational, and quick to take things the wrong way, but she barely spoke about you or your wife."

He looked at me darkly. Was that just a diversionary assault? Where was the real attack going to come from? I steeled myself.

"So she came to you for a dress? For Golden Tiara?"

"Yes."

"What happened? The whole truth. Now."

Like a life time ago. "She came in acting like she owned Equestria, and...the dress she wanted me to do had many, many diamonds as part of it. Discord, your chaos monster, what he did to me involved diamonds greatly, and I had not yet recovered from it. Sweetie Belle being once bullied by her didn't help... Diamond threw me a racial slur and I lost my temper and informed her in no uncertain terms that her business was not welcomed. At all. But she had left her design behind. I am an artist Mr. Rich, I do not miss details. I put the pieces together and found out the truth. It helped that one of my best friends happened to be doing work at the asylum helping heal those Discord had harmed.

"And suddenly everything began to make sense. Diamond Tiara wanted something from the heart for her mother, and I told her that something has to be made from the heart to be from the heart. So to fulfill her order, the only way I could was to teach her how to sew herself. She sewed in the diamonds herself. Then she came back. I didn't charge her once. I didn't ask her to come back. She came on her own. And I taught her. She whined, she complained, she bellyached, she pretended to give up a few times, but she never did. She wanted to grow."

He stayed quiet. So quiet.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

And the true blow is struck. I consider lying. No I don't actually.

"It was Hearts and Hooves Day. The day after I had to deal with the door to my house being accidentally torn off so nopony asked many questions, long story. I had made her a card I planned to give her at the end of our lesson. She had just come from her lessons with her home-tutor, I believe. I was telling her that her friendship with Silver Spoon was too precious to throw away." I braced myself. "And that was when she took one of my pairs of scissors and stabbed me with no warning, fortunately she missed my major arteries. She ran away in tears. That was the last time I saw her."

And the gates of Tartarus opened.

"You horrid mare! How could you...I'm sorry I-wait a minute what the Pony Hell am I sorry for-?! You have been keeping the last known location of my only child secret since last year!!!" He snarled with righteous fury.

"And that was the wrong decision." I lowered my head. "I assumed she'd gone home, I was wrong. I should have reported she'd ran off. I make no excuses."

"I swear to Cadence, I should have you arrested for foal endangerment, obstructing justice, and I don't know how many other things!"

"With all due respect, if I had told you, would you have listened? Or would you have thought I had used her as an ingredient in some unicorn witch's brew?"

"So go to the police, if I'm such a scary stallion!"

"I thought I could find her on my own. I tried using my gem-finding spell to locate the diamonds in her tiara! I tried to find her until my horn ached! By the time I had to turn back you'd put out an all points bulletin for her. And if I HAD gone to the police, I would've had to tell them that she stabbed me unprovoked!! I was trying to prevent her from being hunted down like a rabid animal and tossed straight into the looney bin right alongside your wife!"

"You think I'd abandon my own daughter?!"

"You abandoned your wife!"

"I DID NOT!"

"Diamond's heart thought you did!"

"YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?! You think I didn't want to tell her why I wasn't letting her see her own mother?! Why I didn't go to see her? You think I wasn't telling her because I thought she wouldn't miss her?"

My ears flattened as what I just said hit me full on. I hurt. He was right. He had been a prejudiced pony, and so like Sweetie Belle thought of Diamond Tiara, I thought he was being a thoughtless father. Was that all I wanted him to be? Just as an excuse for Diamond Tiara's behavior?

"Listen to me and listen well: I did not consent to having my beloved Golden shut away in a white cell indefinitely, without a very good reason! YOU HAVE -NO- -IDEA- -AT- -ALL!!!-"

I felt like the world's smallest pony. I lowered my head and body. "You're right. I don't. I never thought how being silent about Diamond could hurt instead of help. I never thought it was more than her life this could affect. For that, I am truly and sincerely sorry." Then I whispered. "Tell me the why. Please."

He took a deep breath and was silent for a few moments, looking down at his tea in a thoughtful manner. "I've kept calling her 'That Thing'. I said 'That Thing' couldn't possibly be her," He said, the fury from his voice having cooled. "What I was really telling myself was 'I've done this to her.'"

My big sister knows details, but I know my big sister. Me, Applebloom and Scootaloo know how to get by our siblings or anypony no sweat. I still don't get why we never get our stealth ninja cutie marks. Scootaloo joked that maybe we already had and they're invisible.

I didn't expect to see Diamond Tiara's dad downstairs. After Rarity helped me finish crying, I heard a familiar voice downstairs. It sounded familiar, it was the voice of Diamond Tiara's dad, but it -felt- familiar too. It was like the reverse of those ice cream treats you hear about, a feeling of cold on the outside but warm on the inside. I don't know why I felt lonely hearing him, but I did, so I snuck downstairs. I know it was way past my bedtime. Applebloom was having that sleep over with Twist and Scootaloo was staying with Rainbow Dash.

I heard what he said, and I heard what he said next. I nearly gave myself away. I felt confused and ashamed, like when I had been so awful to Rarity that time. It's the same feeling. It's like before when I was crying for somepony else. Who am I feeling for?

'What is this? Zeno's race? You really love taking breaks every few steps don't you? It is going to be noon after all by the time you get here! What happened to all that fire before?! Or were you just bluffing? As normal my dear and faithful student?'

I did keep stopping. Everything kept getting so confusing. I'd trot a few hoof steps, and I'd feel sick. Was I dying? No! I don't wanna die yet! I don't wanna! No no no! Please!

Still so much, still so much I want to do. The voice is here. The voices are everywhere. But I still feel alone. I don't want to be alone. No no no! I don't need anypony! No pony at all! Right? Right.

"Mom?" I whispered in the dark of the bedroom.

"Yes Dissey dear?" Mom asked beside me, nuzzling me. "Was it the nightmares again?"

"I dreamed that I walked to the estate and, and, everyone was stone! Posey in her garden! Surprise on the roof! Firefly actually slid off and broke into pieces!! I screamed and ran into the living room and Lulu, Celly were statues too! And I found you, I found you right here, stone too. THEN, then a big cockatrice, it tore the roof off the house and looked me in the eyes!" I practically babbled as mom patiently listened.

I hadn't even known what a cockatrice was until Firefly saved me from the one that found me. Firefly had even shown me the stone carcass to show it wasn't going to hurt anyone anymore. But there were more out there. I knew. Just waiting to turn me to stone, or Celly and Lulu, and I'd be all alone forever.

"Dissey. I know you're scared son. I'd be scared too if that happened to me."

"You're not scared of anything."

She laughed in the night. "Dearie, if you knew me from before." She got serious. "Discord, listen to mother. Remember all those awful nightmares you had before Celly and Lulu were born? They didn't come true. And this nightmare won't come true either. Your nightmares are not the center of your life! I can't ask you to not be afraid of them, because I know what being afraid is like, but son, you don't need to cower before them. Remember, what happens in your nightmares is made by what you're worried or scared of."

I felt horror rise inside me. "Does, does that mean I want everypony to be stone?"

"NO! Not at all! Your nightmares show you what you're scared of so you can face them. So you can control them. Never forget that Dissey. Being brave doesn't mean not being afraid, it means facing things when you're scared."

"I won't mama, I promise." What was this feeling? She could always make everything better just by being nearby. It was like when I was near Celly. Mom would know. Mom always knew. "Mom. Why do I feel, the same when I'm near you and Celly?"

"The same how?"

"Like everything is gonna be alright, that there's nothing we can't do together, like there's more of me with you nearby."

"It's called love dear."

That word. I've heard it said a lot among the adults and among the twins. "What's love?"

"Love is..." Mom stopped and looked thoughtful. "Maybe love is something you need to experience to understand."

"Mom! That's cheating!"

"Not so loud young man. Ponies are sleeping."

"Yes mother."

"Alright. Let's see. Nopony ever seems to see love the same way. Wind Whistler would go into chemical reactions in the brain. Surprise would say love is like a gift, you can never tell what it will be like before you open it. Posey's always saying love is something tender and fragile that you have to help grow and tend to each day to help it along. Mimic says love is magic. Twilight's wished she knew what love was first hand. Galaxy says love is a mystery that's to be known but not understood. Applejack says love just is. Spike says love is being good to someone for being good to someone. Firefly says love is an adventure, a risk, something you don't know if you'll be hurt or not but it's worth it just to try. Masquerade said it's what separated us from horses, and that animals can want each other, but not love each other, because animals don't understand."

My head spun. So many contradictions, and it wasn't fun for once. I didn't understand. "So loving is understanding?"

"That's what Masquerade thought at least."

"But what about you mom? What do you say love is?"

She looked surprised. I didn't like her just staying quiet like that. It's boring!

"For me?"

"Yes!"

She smiled, "I've never thought about it before."

Oh come on!

"But...if I had to give a meaning to it... love is a contradiction. The more you give, the more you have, the more you take, the less you have. Love's patient, kind, and it doesn't covet. It's wonderful but you don't think you're better than others for it. You don't love someone for yourself, you don't tally wrongs with someone you love. Love hurts but it doesn't tarnish or harm others. Love doesn't enjoy seeing others hurt and you aren't blind to flaws someone you love has. Love protects, it trusts, it hopes, and I...I believe that...that if it's real love, then it can never truly go away."

So many contradictions, so much confusion, so much nonsense, but it all works anyway, she understands it anyway. And so do I.

'RRRAAGH!'

Anything I was thinking was obliterated by the voice's roar, I'd NEVER heard it roar before, it was like... Like a chorus of all kinds of animals roaring together in complete disharmony. Another weird memory, another image of ponies I didn't know, what was this? What was the point of this? Did it have a point? Did anything have a point at all?

'Listen!' The voice seethed, "And listen well filly! Real mistakes are never actually forgiven! Real redemption for true sins does not exist! And true enemies never become true friends! Hate never goes away once there! Second chances are only in fairytales! They're just lies ponies tell themselves so they can feel better! Never believe those lies! Understand?! Such meaningless tripe belongs in the minds of idiots! And you, my little pony, are no idiot. Are you? Or do you believe such ridiculous fantasies?'

N-no. Of course not. Not at all. I'd-I'd never believe anything like that. The voice sounded even angrier than before, furious.

'GOOD! Move your hooves! Before I start going sane here! I'm sick of having to tell you!'

I obey. I always obey.

Episode 63: "Mind Games Part 6"

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My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Mind Games Part 6

"Don't flap your wings! Don't flap your wings!"

"THAT'S CRAZY!"

"Scoots! Stop! Wait-!!!! Okay! I gotcha! Scootaloo don't do that again!"

"I'm sorry."

Rainbow Dash slowly lifted the filly back to the cloud they had been on and sat in front of her. She didn't look happy. "Scootaloo I told you, you have to start out low. And by low I mean lower than the top of Ponyville's tallest buildings. What were you thinking? Were you thinking?"

Scootaloo pinned her ears, looking down at her hooves. "I thought if...if I started out high enough, then I'd catch enough air underneath my wings to lift me up."

Rainbow sighed, giving a facehoof. The holes in Scootaloo's facts-of-life inventory were showing. "Scoots, that's not how your wings work. You're not getting lift from the thicker air below you, you're getting suction from the thinner air above you. You have to work with the air. And you have to use your legs if you're going for a cold start, your wings aren't going to be able to get your airborne on their own."

"I'm sorry Dash, I guess I'm as lousy as my wings."

"Oh no. You are not starting down that again Squirt. You're just learning. There's nothing wrong with you."

"What about Roid Rage?"

"Clop-off Roid Rage! He flies like a bumblebee, not a pegasus! He has a lot of muscle but those tiny wings of his have nothing to do with it! There's nothing stopping you from flying Scoots I promise."

"Then why can't I?"

"Because I haven't finished teaching you." 'And your parents forgot to teach you anything.' "No pony learns to fly on their own, even foals who can fly at Pound Cake's age have to relearn how to fly when they get older."

Scootaloo didn't want to say Fluttershy had told her the same after Scoots had set her off by calling 'Shy a traitor to pegasi while having a breakdown over seeing Pound Cake flying.

"Your wings are more than strong enough, you just haven't learned how to use them yet. You're far from the only Pegasus to hit cloud blocks. Why do you think that stupid Rainbow Factory ghost story got started? Twilight did some thesis or something she made us listen to on urban legends and said it started out as parents trying to scare foals who were slow learners into shaping up. It was a rotten thing to do, but it shows you're not alone." Rainbow then looked up at the moon's place in the sky and gave a sigh. "Now I know I ran late with weather duty today, and I know I promised to give you lessons today, but a lot of ponies called in sick with the Feather Flu again, and there'd be a lot more unhappy ponies including Applejack if they didn't get the rain Cloudsdale owed them. I had to make a choice Scoots. I don't like it either, your life is going to be full of choices Scoots, and you're not going to like all of them. And the best choice and the right choice aren't going to always be the same! But I know you're a tough girl and I know you can understand that."

Scootaloo sulked.

"Look kiddo. I love your 'take life by the jugular' attitude. But take it from me that doing things that are going to get you killed are something you should save until you're older. I broke my wing doing some dangerous stunts, and I'm a lot more experienced, and durable, than you. Now come on, it's late and I don't want to explain to Cheerilee you being late for school."

"I'm not-" And there was the yawn, "Tired."

"Uh-huh." Rainbow Dash said flatly.

"Can I have coffee?"

"Nope. Sorry. No way. There are things I'll do Scoots, but giving a filly coffee isn't one of them. You're-" RD said the word that didn't taste so bad in her mouth anymore, "-my responsibility."

"Dangit. Can I sleep in your bed again tonight?"

Rainbow Dash rubbed her head awkwardly. "Scoots, I'm not legally your guardian, ponies are gonna draw weird conclusions if-"

"Please?"

Rainbow Dash accepted a lot more readily than she normally would have:

both had had the same nightmare, only once, but once was enough.

++++

The gray-blue and bright orange pegasi struck like lightning as they rammed into each other again and again. Jagged lines of light across the irrational sky.

Being one of few ponies not discorded, Scootaloo was a symbol among Master Discord's favorite playthings against the tyrant.

"Just give up Kid! You can't win this! Please! There's just no way you can!" Traitor Dash cried out. She had insisted to Master Discord she could handle this alone, it was going to be boring, no way Master needed to crush these ponies personally, it wouldn't provide him any entertainment Traitor Dash feverishly insisted.

Scootaloo snarled. "I loved you! I lived for you! All ever wanted was to be you!"

"Every bond you make in life gets broken in the end!" Traitor Dash snapped back as the two broke apart for a moment.

"That isn't what you taught me!"

"No it's what I learned!"

The adult orange mare was covered in battle scars, a double purple thunder bolt adorned her flank.

Slivers of gray were in her purple mane now, she had been fighting for so long, she looked older than Traitor Dash now, who hadn't aged since that terrible day.

"Well then you're not the pony I knew! Not any more!"

"Please, Master enjoys toys that play along-"

"NO! He likes to see his toys squirm! You're not a plaything! You're a PET he sends to do his dirty work! You're a traitor!"

Scootaloo caught Dash off guards and slashed her torso at high speed with a blade hidden in her wing.

Scootaloo was surprised it got through, that attack was meant to be a distraction, it was so obvious, Dash had blocked them before...

The blade had cut far and deep...and inside where a heart should be revealed an black crystal shaped like an upside down lightning bolt.

Small sparks of red electricity, the same color that Dash's Element of Harmony had been, crackled along the wound and sealed it shut.

"Dash..." Scootaloo gasped in horror, "What's, what's happened to you? You're a monster!"

"I know." Traitor Dash answered, her voice dripping with shame.

"You're not Dash anymore! You're just Discord's dog!"

"I'm sorry."

A rainbow color shockwave blasted around Scootaloo a moment later.

Less than a moment later a spectrum of grays burst around Traitor Dash.

"SONIC-RAINBOOM!"
"SONIC-DARKBOOM!"

The ponies collided, their bones shattered at the impact and both fell to the ground helpless. The Element of Chaos wouldn't let Dash find death. She crawled out of her crater, and sobbed as she cradled the cooling body of her, apprentice? Fan? Little sister? Traitor Dash realized to her dismay, she had no idea what she had even felt for the little pony. She had never stopped to figure out what she felt. "Scootaloo..." TD broke down in tears.

And at the palace, "It's...it's done Master, with their hero gone I'm absolutely sure no pegasi will give you trouble. They've seen their heroes will let them down. There's no need to, no need to be strict with them!"

Master giggled, petting Traitor Dash's head. "Very good my little widdle Dashie, how very, very -loyal- of you."

Traitor Dash looked down. "T-Thank you...Master..."

"In fact. Maybe I should have the Seaponies of Sky Ocean conduct an entire OPERA to you defeating the orderlists' hero. And you can sit on, every single show. Doesn't that sound lovely? Or maybe their sea above all those pointy rocks is a waste of space?"

"No-no! It's, it's an honor Master."

++++

"Dash," Scootaloo whispered along side Rainbow Dash in the bed sheets.

"Yeah Scoots?"

"I...I think you're the greatest. I know you'd never do anything without a good reason. I know you'd never hurt me without a good reason. I know that even if the whole world tells me you're the bad guy, I'm not gonna believe a word of it. I'll stay at your side no matter what."

Dash had something in her eye. "You're the loyalist filly in the world Scootaloo."

"Only cause you're the best teacher in the world Dash," Scootaloo yawned back. And they conquered the nightmares together. Teacher and student's loyalty overcoming the dreams from a world of darkness.

"And Scootaloo?"

"Yes, Rainbow Dash?"

"If there's one thing in that nightmare I know is true, that I'm happy is true, is someday I just know you'll be as good as I am. Who knows, maybe you'll be the second Pegasus to do a Sonic Rainboom."

It was Scootaloo's turn to have something in her eye.

A little bit later, Scootaloo got up.

"Hey! Wanna play Marevel Verses Neighpon Studios?"

Dash turned over. "Heard that they're coming out with Clopcom Verses Pony Rangers next month?"

Scoots shook her head, "They must be running out of crossovers, but it sounds fun. Come on, let's play!"

"Scoots it's too early."

"I call Techno-Pony Blade!"

"Hey! Only I play as Techno-Pony Blade!"

A minute later the game's intro song blared out,

'Fly high through the sky!'

'And you can pierce the rainbow's edge!'

"Sorry to Princess Luna, but this is boring ," Silver Spoon moaned looking up at the sky, try as she might, she couldn't get any of the stars to connect into constellations like they were supposed to.

"Hey it's not what you do but who you do it with," Spike said next to her. "Just let your imagination go a little."

"Whatever...Next time I decide what we do dragon-boy."

"Alright fair pony-girl. But yeah, it's getting late, and I don't want Owlowiscious ratting me out to Twilight."

"No skin off my nose, my parents are used to me being out late. It's kinda...expected."

Spike looked at her, even in Ponyville there was something wrong with a filly whose parents were used to her coming home late.

Maybe if she had seen more of him before they met at Rarity's she wouldn't have freaked out at the sight of him. For a filly who didn't spend much time at home, she didn't seem to get outside much. Which was too bad given how her coat gleamed in the moonlight.

"Hey Silver Spoon...thanks for hanging out tonight."

"Don't make it sound so noble. We're only hanging out because Applebloom and the others were all busy, and Miss Twilight didn't have any work for you to do."

"No," Spike said. He wasn't used to being stern but Silver needed this, "We'd have hung out -anyway- with Sweetie Belle and the others if they could come. Friends aren't replacements. If-" He took in a deep breath, "-If Diamond Tiara was found, would you stop hanging out with us?"

Silver Spoon nearly fell off the hill they were on (Rainbow Dash had banned all Crusaders from using roof tops to stargaze, Silver didn't want to know the details). Her brain looked like it was trying to eat its cake and have it too. "I-I don't know. I mean, I don't hate any of you. And I thought I was done with her...and I know she's done with me."

Spike had never talked with Silver's friend, but everything he heard wasn't good, but that had gone ditto for Silver.

"But?"

"But I...after everything Miss Rarity keeps telling me: that I should try to patch things up with her. And...Diamond was fun to be around. But she hates you, I mean, the Crusaders. She'd probably find something to hate you for."

"Silver Spoon, if she's really your friend, then you should be able to help her see how dumb her reasons for hating them are."

"I don't know. I was always just there, supporting her."

Spike looked at her, the moonlight making her fur shine like her namesake. "You and I are two of a kind."

"Yeah, right. A boy dragon-assistant, a school filly pony, we have sooo much in common."

"I mean it's like you said, you supported Diamond Tiara, I support Twilight. We both focus our lives on supporting others."

"Okay. I guess we are both just a couple of accessories."

"I am not an accessory! And neither are you!"

"When I fell out of orbit with Diamond Tiara, I felt lost. Like I had lost direction. I was a moon without a planet."

"I actually know how you feel. When Twilight first brought in the owl for the night shift, I didn't make things pretty. I thought I was the only assistant Twilight needed. Learning to share didn't come easy."

Silver smirked, "You like her?"

"Blagh! Not that way. She's like, well, more than a friend, she's my family."

"How does that even work?"

"Twilight hatched me as her magic entrance exam for The Princess' magic school."

Silver Spoon looked at him in surprise, "And The Princess didn't keep you for herself?"

"Well, Celestia taught me magic too, that's how I can send letters and stuff, but the ruler of Equestria was too busy to feed me and change my diapers."

"Blah! Too much information!"

"Sorry. Celestia told me I was to keep Twilight from becoming a stuck-up snob being the most important filly in Equestria. She said it was the same trick she used to keep Princess Cadence from getting a swelled head, and wished she'd done it with Prince Blueblood."

Sounded like Princess Celestia had a sneakiness to her that Diamond would have appreciated. But, Celestia was nice. Well, was nice.

It made Silver Spoon wonder. 'If me and Diamond Tiara had any little siblings to take care of, would we have been different? Or a big sibling to feel that way about us?'

"Spike."

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome...and you know something?"

"What?"

"You ever notice how Applebloom and the others...we're not just supporting them? We're actually having lots of fun with them." Spike leaned against her, she didn't resist.

"...Yeah, I kind of did...It's kinda nice." She leaned against him.

Maybe the stars weren't so bad after all.

Maybe visiting the mental ward was a mistake, but I had to try. Oh! I don't think we've ever been properly introduced. I'm Fluttershy. You've talked to Fluttercruel a lot, but I think the only time we talked was when, when I wasn't well... It's, erm, nice to talk to you all.

OH! Ep, that is, thank you for the hug.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Think-think nothing of it. You're just, just the kindest, gentlest pony who's ever lived. And the world would be a lot darker without you. Your friends are really really lucky to have you.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): After getting to talk to Nice Fluttercruel, it's nice to talk to Nice Fluttershy too.)

I-I-I think you're making me blush! Your nuzzles are very soft dear.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Thanks Fluttershy.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): I believe we are getting off topic. Please continue Fluttershy.)

Oh, well, it was really really nice to have ponies just calling me by my name instead of, instead of calling me 'Princess' or...or 'Monster.' Ever since the tornado, it felt so wonderful that so many ponies were just calling me Fluttershy again. I mean...it's nice I at least managed to help some ponies and it's nice to be just be called plain old Fluttershy again...

Dr. Freudian Excuse is a lot more accepting of my visit than Dr. Head-Scratcher. Dr. Head-Scratcher slammed the door in my face saying that I had hurt his patients enough ...And he's right, I did hurt them trying to pry my way into their sick minds...And that's why I want to help them!

I was shocked to hear of Screwball's escape. I mean, she's escaped before, but she was always back the next day. Nurse Redheart said Dr. Head-Scratcher should walk again, eventually.

When I met with Dr. Freudian Excuse to ask if I could visit some of the patients, he was very understanding. But when I began saying how I understood how some ponies would never forgive me for what I did, he told me not to pretend that it was for them I was coming here to apologize for, and I was just dealing with my own grief.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): He told you to shut up about the 'never forgive' speech already didn't he?)

Yes.

It reminded me a lot of what Coffee Swirl had told me. They were right. If this was really for them, I had to start doing instead of just asking for punishment. I was saved from making some very ugly mistakes.

It's wonderful seeing a injured bird fly again, their wings are so delicate, we're so delicate, that's what makes it a miracle when you see somepony put their life back together.

"Princess Gaia please, let me be your knight again," Said the pink wingless pegasus lowly. She didn't even look at me. I hadn't even said anything as I went by her with the orderly. She just knew it was me.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I can't anymore. I-I'm so sorry."

And that hurt worse than the rock, my fight with Fluttercruel, and more than the ponies who tried to copy New Fluttershy.

If I start, I won't be able to stop. The moment I use It, the power will make the decisions, not me. The fog will spread again. I-I had to get past her before I started crying...thank you for the hug.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): I am...I am merely making sure you stay on topic. Continue Fluttershy.)

Well, Fluttercruel told me this idea was crazy. But if I could help the ponies of Sunnytown start healing, then I thought I could help other ponies without Alicorn magic I hurt too.

I touched so many hearts that day, I suddenly knew so many ponies better than themselves. I knew where they hurt, why a lot of them hurt...because I'd felt all of them. I know I was insane, but I still felt all that pain I'd absorbed as Nightmare Whisper, I couldn't tell all of them apart, but I could identified some of them.

Dr. Freudian Excuse insisted he observe and that the orderly stay with me to protect me. Part of me felt like he was protecting them from me.

The doors were all recently reinforced, they had break-proof glass for the one way mirrors, the orderlies were armed with clubs and tasers, it was different from when my fog, myself, had come through here. I was scared, but Fluttercruel helped me stand on our four hooves.

I sat across from her in her room. She growled and whimpered when she saw me. I think she remembered 'me.'

I spoke with her, trying to use the most relaxing voice I could. "Hello. No, I promise I'm not here to hurt you. I just want to talk to you. Erm, yes it is a good day to play ball outside. I'm sorry I don't know where Screwball went. I'm sure she's thinking about you too and the doctors will find her soon."

The orderly looked at me like I was crazy too now. I ignored him.

"Do you understand why you're here? No. It's because you're confused. You're here because you're lost. No, not that kind of lost. Your family is very worried about you. Yes they still love you, they still miss you. Can't you remember? Please try to remember."

Now the orderly was looking at Dr. Freudian Excuse, he doesn't respond, he keeps his eyes on me and her.

"No. You're not. I know it's hard for you to accept but you're not. You have a name! That is not your true cutie mark! Your husband and grandchildren all are want you to come home! They want their grandmother, not a pet! Those Diamond Dogs are gone now, they're not going to hurt you again. You're, you're worth more than an animal." And yes, it hurt me to say that, but there was no kind way to say it.

''Shy, let me take over, you don't need to-'

'No.'

She barked louder at me. I had challenged her world, of course she'd react like that.

"Your grandson wants you back. So does your daughter. And your name isn't Spot or Rover. You have a real name. You -taught- them stories, and they're still teaching what you taught them! You're in a fog. They're waiting for you outside it. Those aren't paws. The Diamond Dogs aren't here. You can speak. No. Really speak. You don't have to be afraid."

"Sorry. Time's up." The orderly told me.

"Please-just a bit more, I think can-"

"Time's up." The orderly just repeated and led me out of the room. He looked back at me, confused, questioning .

After the cell door was closed he said, "Pst. I can't believe the doc' actually believes your story that you can understand what Barking Mad is saying. She's not saying anything. She's just nuts."

I narrowed my eyes at him. I push Fluttercruel back in case she does something foolish. A part of me wants to let her, it whispers he deserves it. Instead I constructively voice my anger. "Maybe you could help them more, by treating them like ponies and not calling them by such cruel names."

"I'm not paid to act like they're still ponies. That's the doctors' job. If you ask me, you should be in here with them Miss Conquer Equestria Lady."

"Roid Rage! That's enough!" Dr. Freudian Excuse snapped at him, the pegasus backed down. He may have only been half of Roid Rage's size, but he still signed his checks. "I...I think you might have gotten her to respond. Could you really understand what she was saying? That's a miracle."

"It's about time she had one." I said simply. I had seen way too many pony's hearts who hadn't. Lost souls with no pony who willing, or able, to hold out a hoof to guide them home. And I'd still be lost if my friends hadn't held out theirs. And you wonder why I wanted to take all Equestria's pain into myself?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): No dear. We at least don't blame you.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Hey wrinkles, you okay? )

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): I'm fine. And Fluttershy. You are the most selfless, kind hearted, and warm hearted pony I've ever met. Do not sell yourself short. You're humble, you know your limits, and that's what makes you strong. But you don't ever, ever d-dare sell yourself short. There are other kind ponies in the world. But none of them will ever be you. Understand? You are a blessing upon the world. Not a curse. You understand, yes Fluttershy?)

I...I...I think I really am blushing! Erm, everywhere!

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): You deserve every word.)

Are...are you crying?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): It's...just good to see a wonderful pony like Fluttershy. What?)

If you're going to hug me, then I think it's only fair I hug you back.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Thank you Fluttershy. Thank you.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Go ahead, please finish.)

O-oh, yes...

"Yes, it's not quite like a dog's language, but she's close," I continued. I then looked at Roid Rage, narrowing my eyes, but continuing my conversation with Dr. Freudian Excuse. "She's been responding all this time, she's always been saying something. It's not anypony's fault they didn't understand her."

"Just what are you saying? Are you saying I'm stupid?" asked Roid Rage, towering over me, trying to be as imposing as he could. I didn't budge, even if my heart was racing.

"No, I never implied something like that. My special talent is communicating with animals. I just didn't realize that there was a mare here who believed she was one," I reply, looking him in the eyes. "I respect your opinion of me, I said I would. But I didn't brainwash them into being something that wasn't already in them, that's what Discord did, what I did was take away the pain and the problems they already had. What was there on the day...on the day I did all of that, was what was underneath all the pain and suffering all those ponies experienced. I can promise you, Roid Rage, somewhere deep down in the ponies you call nuts are the ponies they used to be, and unless someone holds out a hoof to help them out, they'll stay there."

'Shy, I have to say, that was pretty badflank of you.'

Um, thanks Fluttercruel...

I don't know if I changed Roid Rage's mind. But I hope he'll start seeing those ponies as ponies...Because I know he's got his own reasons for acting like he did...I've seen them too. And I hope I can use what I know to help him too... I can't help all of them at once, and I can't help every animal in Everfree, but I'll help those I can when I can, how I can, and that'll be enough.

How did I feel? How did I feel?

... I felt hurt.

Diamond Tiara. Ponies didn't have her wrong, she is as spoiled as a filly can be, but I got to see there was more to her than that. As Pinkie Diane would say, she doesn't exist simply cause somepony 'needed antagonists.'

Like any bully she has her 'reason' for doing what she does. As I told Sweetie, some don't see those they're picking on as people so it's okay to toy with them or vent your frustrations on them like you would a rock. Some Earth ponies used to have a trick called the 'sadness stone' where they'd paint an unhappy face on the rock and have it be sad instead of them. Perhaps that was Pinkie's inspiration for Pinkamenia, she did live on a rock farm. And for Diamond, she forced her feelings of worthlessness on blank fillies. After what I learned and the number of times I spoke with her I'd have to be blind not to see it.

The time we spent together was private. It was our world. That gave it a magical quality. And I thought if I could show her she did have worth, she'd have no reason to drag others down, and begin to raise herself up.

It was like a story out of a fairy tale. Then out of nowhere, making no sense, it was torn away. Was that my real reason all along for wanting to find Diamond on my own? Did I want to keep our time to myself? Did I want that sparkling setting back?

I'd have gone livid with scandalization at the audacity of such a accusation before. Now being on the receiving end of her parent's anger, I'm not so certain anymore.

"I want to ask you something Miss Rarity. Did you know that Golden Tiara had escaped from the asylum?"

I felt struck by lightning. "N-n-no! I had no idea! What happened! When did it happen? How did it happen? Why? Where? Who?"

I was given the details after I stopped babbling. If I was the paranoid type or still feeling like fairytales, I'd assume her mother had gone off looking for Diamond herself.

"So you have no idea where she's gone?"

"Didn't I just say that?"

"Sorry, I think after all the interviews my friends and I picked up the habit of repeating things. So what did you mean? 'I've done this to her?'"

He looked at me darkly, "You know I still haven't forgiven you for hiding what happened to my daughter."

I shrunk away from his gaze. Now I know how Fluttershy felt. 'I was only trying to protect her,' I was going to say. But I'm not Rainbow Dash, I think first, act second. "And I won't expect you to. I would feel the same if it were Sweetie in Diamond's place. It was my selfish mistake. But please finish what you start. 'I've done this to her.' What did you mean?"

"It's what I kept telling myself." He flared his nostrils. "Fine. It's time for the truth."

+++

I took every move slow, like a Timber Wolf was inside every shadow just waiting to pounce. No motion was too slow. No breath too shallow. No noise too quiet. Had to be careful. Had to be so careful.

'You ever have one of those days Tiara where things just go on and on and on? Where everything goes in every direction except foreword? I had to put up with that for two thousand years. And let me tell ya, being perfectly sane through the whole things bites.' Whined Silver Spoon.

Ah are you still going on about that Silver Spoon? You pointed at me and said 'It was her idea!' too when mom found us pigging out on the treats in her secret cabinet.'

"That's because it was your idea."

"I..." This was where I was supposed to say, 'And you should have played along.' But instead I said "I'm sorry. I didn't think mom would catch us and I was scared how she'd punish me."

"So she'd punish me instead?" Silver Spoon wasn't supposed to say that.

"I-I thought your parents would go a lot easier on you than mom would be on me."

"You just didn't want the consequences, as usual of you Tiara." Silvery wasn't supposed to say that either.

I gritted my teeth at the sickness again. "Be quiet or the adults will hear you, then we'll both be in trouble."

I was jealous of Silver Spoon (DON'T YOU DARE WRITE THAT DOWN!), she was moving as quiet as a ghost. I could forget she was there.

We trotted on the grassy carpet to the storage room dad had put all of mom's things after she, after she got sick. The adults dad had guarding the place were as serious and dull looking as Canterlot Royal Guards.

But there weren't as many as before. That didn't make sense at all.

As I peaked around a corner below the guards' eye-level I saw the locks were the same, the security was all the same, nothing had changed but fewer people looking around. That didn't make sense. Not at all. There should be more, not less...

"It's not here," I whispered.

'What?'

I said It's not here Silver Spoon. Security is too the same, in particular after we proved last time somepony could get in. Dad's not dumb. Nothing's in there now, it's been moved.

'Well me being in the same place would be a little too easy wouldn't I? I mean, it's not like we could get this over with and-'

Not so loud! I told you they'll hear you.

'Voice in your head. Sadly they covered my head when they brought me here. Not that that really matters of course, but it took me a while to get my bearings anyway, then Celly had to go and completely redesign the maze too. Normally I'd like the change in status quo, only thing me and my siblings ever agreed on, but this is a bit of a nuisance, I can't guide you through as easily. But she doesn't know that I don't use these stone eyes to see and these ears to hear. She wouldn't know, because I don't do to ponies what she and her pawns do to me, so she wouldn't know to take proper precautions.'

Y-you? I'm been coming for you? What happened to you? Are you a prisoner here? Where?

'Yes, I'm being held prisoner at the center of the maze. About time Celly learned to appreciate irony. And ahem, Only You Can Set Me Free Brave Adventurer, how was that?'

That made no sense!

'You're finally learning. I can lead you, a little, but you're going to have to get past those guards on your own. I can't bring pets to help you along this close to Celly's presence and against her entire Guard. Surprise has it's limits sadly.'

You're with me right Silver Spoon? Stop disappearing like that. Yes yes I accept your apology, it was completely heartless of you to say I was no better than a blank flank, but I forgive you, after all, what is a princess without her most royal subject and...and...best, f-friend. Come on. Let's do this. If we're fast enough you can join me and mom for dinner!

Silver Spoon rolled her eyes and trotted along, for some reason I resisted the urge to back hoof her for that silent remark, oh right, the guards.

Yes. Everything was going to be fine. Absolutely perfectly fine. Yes.

We left the decoy 'treasure room' behind. And went outside to a 'storage house' as dad called it, which was in the backyard. There were a lot more adults now for a bunch of 'gardening tools' dad said he was keeping in there. Ha. Like I was that stupid. The weird thing is that I didn't realize this before. I'd have asked Silver Spoon about that but we had to keep quiet.

I remember when we first did this. It was just a game. Now I was playing for real. Of course this was me we were talking about. And I was great. There was no way I was going to lose. It was going to be as easy as a dance.

I stopped. The Dance. The dance of the doll had been perfect. No worries. No thoughts. No fears. Just the pure happiness of the dance. But it didn't have my mother. And because of that dance I didn't get to be with my mother. I was cheated.

'The world always cheats my faithful student, especially when the Shadows say you're the one who has to lose. So don't be afraid of cheating right back!'

I knew that one already.

'Of course. I should have known. My bad.'

I shook my head. It was so dark. I had to move so slowly. The guards could be anywhere. They could hear me without me seeing them. And-OH NO!

"Please I'm not causing trouble!" I got on my hooves and covered my head. Silver Spoon of course would run away. The guard said nothing, and nothing...and nothing? I peaked an eye open.

A statue. It was only a statue of a royal guard.

The voice laughed. Buck him. No, I needed him! No, he could do something I wanted and he needed to me. Right? Right Silver.

A hoof landed on my I yelped and bucked with my rear leg at, thin air? A small bug fluttered off my shoulder. The voice laughed again.

'Thank you, I needed that. You're a laugh a minute.'

I growled.

Silver patted me on the shoulder. Forget it, had to focus.

"Oh Look At You Tarnished Rich You Look So Lovely, Like A Regular Princess From A Fairy Tale!"

"do you really think i look like a princess mommmy?"

"Yes Honey, The Best Princess The World Has Ever Seen! And Don't Let Anypony Tell You Different! Prove Them Wrong!"

"yes mommy! i will! i promise!"

"Also Have You Thought About Your New Name Yet For When You Get Your Cutie Mark?"

"what's wrong with the name i have right now mommy?"

"Erm, I Think I'll Let Your Father Explain That To You."

"so when will i get my cutie mark anyway mom? i can't find the date on my ipony."

"That'll Be Up To You."

"i want it right now then. . . so where is it?"

"It Doesn't Quite Work That Way. Supposedly You'll Get It When You'll Find Out What You're 'Destined' To Do With Your Life. Me? I Say You'll Get It When You Find Out What You're Great At, By Your Own Talent. You're The Only One Who Controls What Happens To You, Tarnished."

"okay mommy, does that mean i get to stay up late?"

"No."

"no fair!"

"Life Doesn't Tend To Be, You Gotta Take It By The Horn And Ride."

"what sort of saddle should i use?"

"Tarnished, I Think It's Time I Introduced You To The Magical World Of Figures Of Speech."

"speeches have fashion models?"

"Starting Right Now."

(*) (*) (*) (*) (*)

mommy is so much fun

Mom is so great!

Mother is the best mare in the world. With me riding number two right behind her like she said I'd be! I'm the princess of this fairy tale and the main character.

Heh. My mother is Super Mare, stronger than Super Stallion and smarter than Batmare. And that makes me Super Filly.

I'm best pony, and these foals are gonna know it!

Oh right and Silver Spoon! She's uh, Co-Best-Pony. That's right.

Now if I could just get my cutie mark. More than half their class already has there's. Geeze what am I missing?

Mom is best pony.

Mom is best pony, and she loves me. yes. i.

...

Mom. Why are you shouting so much? I mean it's just at servants, so it's no big deal but, I think it's getting a little weird. And why did that dumb servant with the cuts on her face look so freaked at you? Ah well. It's no big deal. It's the servants' fault for not doing anything right. They deserve everything they get. Mom's fault? Pst. Don't be stupid Stupid, that's the most stupid thing I've heard in all the land of stupid from planet stupid.

...

I don't get why mom made me stop wearing jewelry whenever I wanted. I looked pretty, like she always said. I have to stay really still when she puts them on me now, making everything is perfect, like us. But why is she like this now? I don't want to say that it hurts a little with how hard she grips me. It's nothing to worry about.

"She said she wants me to always be wearing it perfectly. As if I don't know how to wear jewelry on my own. As if!"

I, I don't remember when I became friends with Silver Spoon. She's always just been there. We haven't been friends since we were in diapers, but she's in all of my photos, no, I'm in all of her photos after that. It was always just natural to have her next to me.

I-I don't really remember how Silver Spoon got her cutie mark. I-I s-she, she just had it one day, after helping her family with some charity auction or something. I never asked her how, and she's not the type to speak unless spoken to. All I knew was that she had it before me.

I-I don't think I hated her, no no of course I didn't. Why would I? After all, I knew I'd get my cutie mark super soon and it would be cooler than her silly spoon and it would be okay. She-she never treated it as-as anything special. She actually wore a dress when she came over first. She didn't, she didn't want to know she had hers until I had mine. But she caught it on a table corner and I saw.

"S-Silver Tray! You're-you're-you have your cutie mark?!"

"Uh, yeah, I was just waiting...er, I wanted to surprise you."

"Well it's...really cool. It-it's not gonna be as cool as mine still better than anypony's else's for sure."

"Right. I know yours is gonna be great!" And she hugged me smiling.

AGH! Uuuuuuh. The sickness. I actually fall on my side. Why do I feel like all of my insides are made of slime? Am I going to die?

I rolled my eyes over the crescent moon in the sky, I couldn't tell how long I had until dawn and my cover would be blown. Have to get up. Get up. Please get up. Good. Got up. We gotta go. Right Silver? Thanks. I can... I can always count on you.

Mom always said know what you want and go for it. Then she tells me she doesn't trust me to wear my jewelry right anymore? She takes it away? Was this her idea of a game? Well I'd show mom that I knew how to win! I know what I want and so I'm going to go for it!

"Hey Silver Spoon," I asked as we lazed about in my bedroom looking at magazines. Hm? Naw. Mom tells me she threw hers out when she married dad. "I've got an idea. You with me?"

She looked at me. "Behind you Tarnished, all the way."

She didn't even ask what the idea was. S-She trust me. Just so completely. Always did.

I went to my dad's study and pulled out a book titled 'The Big Heist.' I smiled to myself. Guess Miss Cheerilee was right about books.

The ponies in the book wore all black, but that was stupid so we dressed as we always did. Only an idiot dresses -like- they're going to sneak in somewhere when they're going to sneak in somewhere, the whole point of sneaking is to, ick, -not- to be noticed.

There was nothing strange about the two of us together. There was nothing strange about us going around my own home. It was perfectly natural and normal. Yes.

My heart thumbed loud in my ears, my body sweat, my breaths were so shallow. Silver followed me like a good shadow, her eyes were so small, was that how mine looked? The adults never gave us a second look.

Mom stole our lock-picking tools after we had broken into the dessert cabinet. And if we smashed the door in the adults would know we had been here. So we stood stupidly in front of the door with no clue how to get in.

Yeah right!

Do I look stupid to you? I memorized every line on the house blue prints before we started my plan! All it took was one quick lie about trying for an architect cutie mark! The alarms were all on the door leading inside. I discussed the whole thing to Silver Spoon. Mommy didn't want my help in helping organize the schedules but who cared? I just needed to see them and know they weren't going to be changed before I pulled this off! Not just the servants, but deliveries, mom and dad's own hours, and the hours for the heating and cooling of the house! Mom ran everything like clockwork and didn't budge on what she wanted.

'Patterns are traps,' some dead stallion once said, and I finally understood what he meant!

With some fashionable purses being carried by both of us we made our way into an air-vent. No way in Tartarus they'd fit an adult, but us fillies? We, ugh, can, do, IT! OKAY! OKAY! It's not that bad! We can fit through! I'm not stuck! I'm not! Spider-spider-spider-spider! Silver Spoon! Thank you! No! Not out! Forward! No! I'm not giving up! Not now! Push! Okay! Okay, I've got it now, move on your sides, we can fit easy. Trust me. I promise.

She trusted me.

Silver Spoon took the bottle of water, soap and towel out of her bag and cleaned me off. What? I'm not about to wear mom's jewelry looking like a stray.

"Are you sure we didn't make so much noise everypony will know we're in here?" Silver Spoon asked.

"We're kids, we're supposed to be noisy."

"I meant in the air vent."

I stopped for a second before saying, "Er, I'm sure nopony heard. And if they did, they'd never believe we were in one."

Mom's storage room? It was the inside of Aladdin's lamp.

This was the place, full of so many wonders, casting their spell, that I was now under.
Treasures far from the east but far from the least.
The most fantastic things that could be bought with money. Heh, money?

This was a magical place! And we wouldn't leave a trace.
There was more pretties here than you could believe, it was like Hearth's Warming Eve!

Yes, I, had to, try on, eeveerything!

We pulled open every drawer we saw and ogled the jewelry inside! We dumped treasure on ourselves like a shower. Ow! Jewels can be sharp.

"Tarnished, how do I look?"

I stared.

"I have no idea," I said honestly.

Silver had put on a silver and diamond...something or other that was covering her plot and the space between her rear legs and the things right above.

I heard that ponies in other countries had more strict laws of what you could and couldn't show, but you're going to make something like that, why not just go around with nothing at all?

Silver shrugged and tossed it off, and we began rummaging some more.

I check the silver watch I was wearing (it looked better on me than gold, er, matched my mane). Like I was going to rely on the room having a clock.

"Okay remember we have another thirty-five minutes, then 'bout ten minutes to get this mess cleaned up, then seven minutes to get back to our room so nopony notices."

"Right." Silver smiled as she tried on bracelets too big for her. Me? I found scepters, royal orbs or whatever they're called, and crowns. I was a princess, and this was my fairy tale after all. Why did all of them have to fall around my neck though?

"Hm?" I caught a glimpse of something buried under some necklaces. Silver and diamonds. I pulled it out. A diamond tiara. And it was just my size.

I looked at myself in the room's full length mirror, I looked positively royal, almost, just one thing was missing.

A little clumsy, I managed to stand on my hind legs using one of the scepters to prop myself up which added effect too.

"Silver Spoon?" She looked at me, the one witness to my coronation. I looked back at my perfect face. "As Princess Of the Land of Earth, having led us to victory, I do declare this mission a success!" I crowned myself. Everything had worked perfectly! It felt wonderful. no, I absolutely loved it! I felt a strange tingle on my flanks.

"T-Tarnished..." Silver Spoon gasped.

"What?" I glanced at her weird expression, she as pointed a hoof at my rear. I looked down.

My jaw fell from my face. I stared at a replica of the little crown I had put on my head. I looked left and right and yep, it was the same on both sides.

"I-I-I-I-" I gasped for breath, I felt dizzy, Silver Spoon leapt and hugged me on the treasure pile.

"TARNISHED! YOU GOT YOUR CUTIE MARK!"

I think I fainted, but I don't remember.

~~~~~
~~~~~

I'm drowning! Ack! Silver Spoon! She was holding an empty water bottle over my face. My foreleg slapped her. What? It's natural, you know, like when you hit somepony in the knee.

Why would Silver be angry with me? She never got angry with me, not even when I told her I'd earn a better Cutie Mark than her...

She didn't say a thing or give me a bad look in response as she gave me a towel. She never would. N-never.

I felt anger, joy, and panic all in thirty seconds when I sat up in the treasure pile, looked at my flanks and saw it wasn't a dream, and glanced at my watch and saw how much time had passed.

"G-g-g-go!" I said as we hastily put the treasures back in the drawers we had found them in (mostly, I hope, no, we-we got all of them, of course we did, we must have, nothing went wrong). And scurried like mice back the way we came. Yes, I put the crown back where it came from too. What? I'm no thief. I wouldn't steal from mom.

"Diamond Tiara? Good thing, I mean, too bad your grandfather Obscenely Rich isn't here to hear you pick your new name." Dad grinned ear to ear when I showed him and even wider when I told him my new name.

How'd you know grandpa Obscenely Rich was the pony who insisted they name me Tarnished Rich when I was born?

I don't even remember the lie I made up for how my cutie mark came to be, but they bought it hook, line, and sinker.

"I ALWAYS SAID YOU WERE A LITTLE PRINCESS AND THIS IS THE PROOF!" Mom declared in a booming voice as she picked me up and spun me around like a merry-go-round. I laughed. Silver Spoon clapped. "Now there are two crown cutie marks in this house!"

I kept laughing. I was so happy. We were happy. My fairy tale was finally back on track.

...

At school I met with a bunch of other fillies who had gotten their cutie marks. I was part of the 'in' herd again. I was top filly, again. Everything was right with the world. Blue-Luck, now named Archer showed off how her cutie mark meant she was good at archery. A yellow filly Alula said how hers meant she was good at gymnastics. Eyes turned to me, "So what does your cutie mark represent Tarnished Rich?"

"That's Diamond Tiara." Even if I hadn't had my cute-ceañera yet but the paper work had already gone through for my new name. Didn't matter, I went by my new name before the ink was dry.

Alula asked again, "Well, what is it for?"

And I felt like a Windigo bucked me from behind.

"It, isn't it obvious?" I made a small laugh, hiding my emotions like a good liar.

I placed a piece of jewelry on my head, and I get a cutie mark. All I did was wear some jewels, and I get the symbol for what's supposed to be my fate-?! It-it-.

I could feel their eyes on me, all of them, but I for once I didn't like it.

That's when I first used my favorite trick: when backed into a corner, push somepony else into one.

"It's obviously -much- better than that filly over there with her invisibly cutie mark. Oh wait, she doesn't have one!" I laughed. Silver and the other fillies giggled.

"You know dear I think your cutie mark looks just like a little tiara I have, it would fit you perfectly."

"N-no thanks mom. Why don't we just have the jewelers make a new one for me? Then we can have a matching set."

"That's my little princess, so polite, thinking of her mother. Oh, we'll look so darling together!"

(*) (*) (*) (*) (*)

"So you're doing all this to save your mom? Making up for making her that way? That's cool I guess, but you didn't have to kill me."

I gasped at Neatly Spell walking next to me, smiling.

"I didn't kill you." I said.

Come on Silver, we don't need her, we, we just need the voice to guide us. I'm not crazy. Yes she is there, just like you're right there. And if she's there, then she's alive.

"Well, I was with you when you blacked out, and now I'm gone. What do you think you did?" Why did she have a noose around her neck?

"I didn't kill you."

"Are you sure?" She asked still smiling, she manage a good trot for having a knife now sticking out of her back.

"I said I didn't kill you."

"But how can you know that for sure?" She asked not taking a hint. She rubbed against me, why did she now have bruises around her neck shaped like hooves? M-My hooves? Why did she feel cold?

"I'm-I'm not a killer. I'm a princess."

"Oooooohhh. Okay. I guess that makes sense, maybe. I mean, it would be awful if my parents never saw me again, and you know, the Princess sent you to the moon for being the first pony murderer in a zillion years." She managed a good smile, the bruises were gone, now she had a bloody rock in her head. W-wasn't that the same rock the voice pointed out to me?

"So-so how about you go away now."

"Naw I can't do that. Because you killed me."

"No, no I didn't-" Tell her Silver, tell her that I didn't kill her. Oh right you weren't there. Sorry, it's, it's getting a little hard to tell when you're here or not.

Voice, you tell her that I didn't kill her, you know.

'Tell who that you didn't kill who now?' The voice asked in a irritated, bored, and confused tone?

Neatly Spell! Tell her I didn't kill her! And can you tell her to stop hanging her head like that? It makes her look like she has a broken neck!

'Huh? Oh her. How am I to do that exactly again?'

She's right here with me and Silver! Just tell her!

'You and...oy. As happy as I am at your progress my little pony I think you should just ignore the, er, your, ugh. Well, this is new. That is, how about we just pretend that Neatly Spell isn't here?'

"Of course I'm not here. You killed me," She gurgled, she looked drenched as she coughed up water.

"I DIDN'T KILL YOU! JUST GO AWAY PLEASE!"

"DID YOU HEAR THAT?!" "LET'S GO!"

'IDIOT!!! HIDE~!'

I leapt into a bush just as a couple of Night Guards came on the scene. I was scared they'd notice Silver but they didn't seem to see her, and Neatly Spell had finally left me alone. The nerve, acting so nice and friendly with me, being kind to me, being so warm to me, and having the nerve to say I killed her. I'd...I'd never do that. I'm a good princess, I'm a good pony.

'Of course you are. Or are you my little pony? Then again, you're doing all this for your mother. So there's no way you're a bad pony. You'd never do anything to hurt your mother, yes my loyal and faithful niece? My lovely daughter?'

The batwinged guards kept looking, did they have night vision? Of course they did! The bush was small, like me, don't look this way, don't look this way! They looked behind the bush, but not in it. They left.

Thank the voice.

'Lovely, you're welcome. Now don't go doing anything that stupid again. We've burned far too many hours as is. If she shows up again, just ignore her.'

The guards were everywhere now. They were as numerous as the statues.

'And who is to blame for that?'

Ah shut it. I could feel their eyes on me as I moved behind their backs behind one statue after another, making extra sure it was a statue, it was hard to tell them apart. I could feel them right behind me whenever I didn't look. Like a weasel I made my way to the edge of the hedge maze. The smart thing to do was cheat and force my way through the hedge, but I didn't want to risk getting stuck and making so much noise.

Two guards were standing directly in front of the entrance to the hedge maze. Should've seen that coming.

I picked up a rock and got ready to throw it to draw their attention like in the books.

'Don't throw the rock that way.'

What?

'Drop it, loudly, right where you are.'

That's crazy.

'If you love your mother do it. Or do you hate her after all?'

I drop the rock, hard, just missing my own hooves.

"What was that?" One guard looked in my hidden direction and took a hoof trop forward.

The other one caught him by the shoulder. "Wait! Don't you ever watch any shows? If that was an intruder and not a raccoon, they threw it that way to distract us! We should go the opposite way."

"Shouldn't you stay here and guard the post while I check it out?"

"Sorry but how thick are you? If you're all alone then someone is going to jump you from behind. Then I'll wander after you alone and get jumped too. Let's both go."

"That's why we're the smart ones!" The two cheered each other and high-hooved and went in the direct opposite way of my hiding place.

'See? This is what happens when you try to cheat conventions or overanalyze a situation. You just invent new patterns to get caught in.'

I scurried into the maze. I moved for the right path, time for the right hooved method.

'No. Go left.'

Huh? What difference will that make? And you said you couldn't guide me.

'I can't. I don't know the layout, but I do know this style. Oh Celly. How thoughtful of you.'

What?

'A very handsome friend of hers designed the magic for this maze for her and her sister's last birthday party before he got eaten. That birthday was so much fun, so many laughs. This must be her idea of a joke. Now go left, I can tell you it will make a difference.'

I did so. Whenever my logic and reason told me to go right, I went left, I doubled back on dead ends only to find they now led further in. And, A GUARD!

I dove into a hedge-wall for dear life.

A night guard made his way down to where I hid. He must have heard my heart pounding for he reached in for me. I didn't give him the chance as I bucked him in one eye, leaving a nasty impression on his face.

He grunted and ran to two more guards I could barely see out of the corner of my eye.

"HEY! There's some THING in the hedge wall! Come with me and check it out!"

The two guards looked at each other. "A fellow guard telling us to abandon our post with a 'can't wait, get to it' tone with a scar we don't remember him having before?"

"Must be an impostor!"

They tackled the first guard on both sides at once. Where did they get the rope and gag?

"Ha! This'll teach you to try and use the Diamond Dog Fire Drill on us!"

'What are you waiting for? Go!'

I hurried behind the guards. "That's why we're the smart ones!" the two cheered each their and high-hooved.

Did you do that somehow? Despite it demanding me to run it had been chuckling at the whole scene.

'My dear. If I could do that, I'd think of something much more funny for them to say, and it would be in octave.'

If I trusted just my sense I'd say I was just going in circles, but I couldn't deny from the view that I was making progress.

Where had Silver Spoon gone? Why did she have to keep coming and going?

The sky was changing color. Dawn was coming.

'Yes, may it be the last scheduled one this world ever has.'

I didn't even ask what nonsense the voice was going on about now. Nothing mattered except avoiding the guards and getting to the center of the maze.

I surprised when I found a clear spot in the maze. Not that there was much here except a muddy puddle and some tree stumps that must have been cut down decades ago.

There is one truth Ah'll accept. The truth hurts. The truth is cruel. And Ah won't be part of somethin' dat awful again! Sweet little lies are so much kinder.

What was that? I heard the voice give one of those chuckles. The kind that even now sent a chill straight down my spine.

'Oh just a very beautiful moment on a glorious day.'

No no no, I meant, what was that?

'Meh. Memory impression. Happen in some form or another for gratuitous reasons when you have enough magical or spiritual aura saturating a place. Think of it as the ghost of an event that happened here. It's a sign of how close you're getting to me, how strong our bond has become, and your natural talent as an Earth Pony to sense the flow of life, and memories, contrary to some opinions, are not dead things. Anything with enough emotional release can create one, but you'd need godly levels of magic in the area at the time and have acute enough magical senses to, well, let's just say this makes you a tinny tiny bit special. Or it's something I just scrawled into reality's underside that didn't get washed away. Take your pick.'

My head hurt. Where was Silver when I needed her?

'Tell me my dear. Why was Silver here? And when exactly did she join you?'

She's here because she's always with me, and she joined me when...when...I didn't remember! Did I, did I really, no no no no! Of course not! I'm fine! Where was Silver to tell me I was fine?!

Have to get to the center. Then everything will be better!

Episode 64: "Mind Games Part 7"

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My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Mind Games Part 7

"Good morning Sweetie Belle," Silver Spoon greeted the Crusader. Silver had started doing this so the Crusaders wouldn't start hunting for her thinking she was try to skip school again. Now it felt natural.

"Good...morning," She said from inside the house/store, the door only partially open.

"...You don't look so good. Is everything okay?"

"I've, been feeling a little sick since last night when I talked to Mr-" She hugged Silver Spoon like they were moving to different countries.

"Whao-whao-hey!" Silver Spoon wasn't adverse to hugs from Sweetie anymore, but she wasn't fond of germs! And her mother would throw a fit if she caught them from the Crusaders.

"Silver Spoon, I just want to say you're, you're a good pony, a very good pony. You're best pony." Sweetie Belle gasped out, sounding hurt.

"Sweetie?"

"I-I, wanted to tell you that."

Feeling unsure, Silver still did what felt natural and hugged her back.

++++

My heart skipped a beat.

"Silver-?!" I looked around everywhere, she wasn't here. But, but I had -felt- her.

The voice didn't scold me this time. It was so weird, like the deeper I got, the fewer guards there were.

Another open area. There were a series of painted basins with nothing but dirt in them.

I finally see! I finally understand! The only way to be taken seriously, the only way for them to stop laughing, is let them know there is nothing here to laugh about! Now Rarity's gone nuts carrying around a worthless rock! Tell me how that's funny! Fluttershy is being a nag! Rainbow Dash has stabbed us all in the back! Equestia is gonna shatter into a million pieces! Just you DARE try and say there's anything funny about that!

'Ah the sacrifices we make. Really was a pity. She was so lovely. A pony who laughed at my jokes. Who wasn't scared to say 'screw destiny.' Too bad I couldn't keep as both kind of fun after. I still don't regret protecting her and Minty from Lulu.'

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! Pinkie Pie-?! But-but-but what about Miss Rarity-?! What about her ? Why did she look so, so wrong?

'Yes the pony you stabbed in the flanks remember? I wonder if you hit a major artery. There are one or two in that spot. Maybe she bled to death right there! Probably right in front of her little sister. Of course you have no way to know if she did. Or didn't. Just like with Neatly Spell right? That would make two ponies you've killed yes?'

I'm not a killer!

'Anypony, who says something a hundred times a day, either doesn't believe it and wants others to believe it, or doesn't believe it and wants to believe it themselves. I've seen it a billion, billion times. Which are you?'

"I-I-I-" My lip quivered.

'Shhhhhh. It's alright. It's finally almost over my little pony. Then you can finally rest.'

There were no guards anymore. Only the maze, the voice, and me. It didn't need to tell me where to go anymore. I didn't need to think anymore. I felt like something was calling like a missing piece of myself, or I was a missing piece of it.

It was dawn now. The moon was sitting and the sun was rising.

'Hunker down until Celly and Lulu are done switching places.'

Huh?! But you told me to keep going!

'Yes, but we can't risk them see anypony this deep in the maze in the moment the sun and the moon are both out.'

I didn't understand, but I stay hidden until the voices start telling me to move again.

I had to stop for a moment as I found myself at intersection that went in EVERY direction, with a sun symbol mosaic in the ground.

Things won't hurt you, things won't disappoint you, things won't deceive you, isn't that right my dearest?

The only pony I should have ever been generous to, from the beginning was myself.

Be generous to yourself, care for yourself, love yourself, because you're the one that deserves it the most.

Miss Rarity? Had that been her? But, her voice, it sounded like her but, like something was missing.

'Oh no. I'm sure nothing was missing. Maybe she was just showing off a side of her she'd never let others see.'

But, but she'd never say those things!

'How sure are you? How many things have you done that your father never knew about?'

That's different! I was-I was-

'If you thought they were things to be proud of, you wouldn't have hidden them from him.'

They weren't important!

'An elaborate scheme to hurt a pony with more talent with her blank rear than you? Not saying how you were blackmailing your best source gossip writing?'

I couldn't think!

'Who's to say that your Miss Rarity wasn't thinking the same things from the beginning? After all, who is to say what any pony is in the dark, maybe you should ask Neatly Spell. Oh right, you don't even know if you could ask her. Who's to say Miss Rarity wasn't hiding thoughts from herself too?'

No more.

'Don't worry, only a little more. I tell a lie, a lot lot lot more.' The voice gave that chuckle again.'

I felt sick again.

I dragged one hoof in front of the other. The maid dress was torn. The maid cap was lost, revealing my tiara. My skin was scrapped, cut and bruised. The bruises were so dark. I was thirsty. I was tired. I told my body to go on and it did, like a wind-up toy. Walk, walk, walk, just follow the feeling through the maze. Yes, a toy...just a toy...

I trotted through a path with several vases.

The world is cruel, be unto the world as it is unto you. Living for others just turns you into a giant-sized hoofmat. Be selfish otherwise you're nothing. A person who lives only for others is just an empty shell, a puppet! And I'm no one's puppet!

To embody kindness is to be a stepping stone, to embody cruelty, is to be the stepper.

I've been kind for far too long, it's time to be cruel.

'Remember that lesson my dear? I think you've been forgetting it a lot lately. Oh who am I kidding! You always remembered it! It's been a basic truth of yourself! You've delighted in others suffering from day one! Like me! From the day you were born to the moment you stabbed that narwhal! It's a pleasure you know you've never forgotten. We're so much alike aren't we? Must be why I think you're so cute~! I couldn't make a more lovely daughter if I tried.'

I didn't respond. I just kept walking. It was all I had left. All I could do.

And of course I remember that truth. It inescapable, it was absolute, as if I needed the voice to ever tell me that one.

Those blanks laughed every time things went wrong for me. They'd have taken any chance for revenge. If they knew I had lowered myself to taking lessons from Miss Rarity, they'd have told the entire school, they'd have told every pony in Ponyville how Diamond Tiara had to get lessons from a unicorn to sew for her crazy mother! They'd have never stopped laughing. They'd have never stopped using it as a sword to stab me in the gut and laugh.

++++

Did Rarity really think she could hide Diamond Tiara's lessons from me?

We Cutie Mark Crusaders were much better spies than anypony ever gives us credit for. Scoots was amazed Featherweight was better at it than us.

When Miss Cheerilee was hurting again so bad from what happened on chaos day she had declared another short day. I had hopped home, er, to Rarity's shop/house.

I came in through the side door rather than the main door, knowing how Rarity hated being interrupted. I was too surprised to gasp when I found her teaching Diamond Tiara (I took the scenic route). My sister has an eye for details, but I know how to avoid it when I want to. I have a lot of practice.

Urges came all at once. One wanted to hug Diamond for reasons I REALLY didn't get. Or demand to know what she was doing in our, Rarity's house. Instead I just stayed as quiet as a mouse and watched and listened.

I could have told Rarity when Diamond Tiara was editor, I could have destroyed her. Or let Rarity do it for me. It would have served her right. I knew it.

Or I could have shown pictures of Diamond being with Rarity going through the humiliation of learning to sew.

But I didn't.

I could have simply blackmailed her back.

Why didn't I?

Because I wouldn't wish a pony's secrets being exposed to others on anypony ever again, not even her.

I kept watching Rarity teach her, day after day, a Diamond Tiara I didn't recognize actually listening to her.

Then I saw what she did to Rarity! She did it so fast! One moment she was looking hurt and scared out of her mind. Then she stabbed her after screaming "NOOO!!!" Why didn't Rarity shout at her? Instead, she used that soft voice when I fell down the stairs and cut open my leg that one time.

"Diamond...why?"

And Diamond ran away in tears.

I was going to tell everypony. Tell her what that awful filly did to her! But Rarity, Rarity covered for her. So I kept it a secret too. If Rarity didn't want it known, then I wouldn't tell anypony either, not after Gabby Gums.

So, a few moments later, I 'stumbled on the scene' and helped make sure Rarity would be alright. Thank all three Princesses she was.

Then Mr. Rich came, Diamond Tiara's dad. And told big sister he knew about the lessons, and Rarity confessed what Diamond did. Mr. Rich was mad, but not at Diamond, but at RARITY for not telling him. And Rarity said she kept a secret so ponies wouldn't think Diamond was crazy like everypony thought her mom was (Ponies thought Diamond's mom was crazy? That was why she never talked about her? That's why we never saw her?).

"I've kept calling her 'That Thing'. I said 'That Thing' couldn't possibly be her," Mr. Rich said talking about Diamond's mom. "What I was really saying was 'I've done this to her.'"

"Hold on." I trotted in.

"Sweetie what are you doing up so late! You shouldn't be out of-"

"I knew too!" I shouted out between the two of them. I faced Mr. Rich head on! "I knew Diamond Tiara was coming here! I knew she hurt my big sister! And I didn't say anything either! I didn't want to say mean things about ponies after I did as Gabby Gums! So if you want to be angry at somepony, then be angry at me too!"

Mr. Rich just sighed at me.

"Sweetie! Y-y-you, YOU KNEW?"

I looked back at her. I didn't feel the satisfaction I normally felt when I outfoxed my big sister. The look on her face didn't feel so priceless anymore. "I knew."

Rarity gently hugged me from behind.

"Sweetie, there-there's a difference between telling ponies things they should know, and tell them things just to hurt them. Applejack is the most honest pony in Ponyville. But she doesn't tell everypony everything she knows about others if she knows it'll just hurt them. But she does tell ponies things about others if she knows it'll help them."

"You mean like how Berry never stops drinking cider even when it's bad for her?"

She looked at me a tiny bit darkly, I looked back sheepishly. "I am going to find out how you learned about that. She's already getting help. The point is, spreading rumors for the sake of spreading them is different from being informative for others' sakes and...I really need to take my own advice don't I?" Rarity blushed.

Mr. Rich just grunted and nodded.

"You better get some rest now Sweetie."

"NO! I wanna stay."

"You are not well. You are getting some rest. I don't want you out of that bed until morning! I'll tie you to the bed if need be."

She wasn't bluffing. I'd seen her do it flawlessly to Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

I wasn't expecting Silver to stay to keep me company next morning. I guess I should have?

"Silver you should get to school," I said.

"I'll take whatever extra home work Cheerilee stacks me with. And for once I don't think my dad will be mad I cut school. Your sister seems happy for the extra help with you."

"I wish mom and dad were back."

"You have-I mean, where are they?"

"On vacation, they're recovering from the chaos day."

"Still-?!"

"They-they say it'll take them a long while, and that I should stay with Rarity for a while, again."

"You don't normally stay with your sister?"

"I stay with her all the time."

"But your parents-"

"They leave me with Rarity a lot. I don't mind but..."

"When are they due back?"

"Next month, like they said last month, and the month before that, and the month before-"

"HEY-HEY! I'm sure they really are just hurt. They missed ..." Silver Spoon grunted. "They missed what Fluttershy did. Some ponies still haven't recovered. I'm sure they'll be back when they feel ready."

"I wonder sometimes if they meant to have a second filly."

"Don't say that!"

"But what if it's true?"

"Come on! I'd bet silver to diamonds that they gave you to your big sister because they trust her to look after you. After all that time you guys told me to be grateful for having parents! You're not going to pull this on me! You said you didn't want to be without them! REMEMBER-?! "

"I just wonder a bit sometimes if they wanted to be with me."

~~~

I narrowed my eyes. Light glistened off my glasses.

How dare she. She was not doing this to me! Or herself!

"Oh no! You are not! Understand?! You didn't just say that! Got it-!?" What was this feeling? I didn't understand, but I knew I wasn't about to let those words of Sweetie's roam free! I took Sweetie Belle by the shoulders. "You don't know if you were 'unexpected' or not! So don't go jumping to conclusions you were! And if you were, SO WHAT-?! Look around you! You-I, er! When your parents get back, they'll welcome you back with open arms. They wouldn't take you back at all if they didn't want you!" I a little more softly. "Trust me."

Sweetie Belle looked at me wide-eyed. What did I just do? Was that me? What happened to Silver Spoon who just smiles and nods? But, but I didn't regret it.

Sweetie smiled at me.

"Alright." We nuzzled.

Sound of a heart beat. I held my chest. A gray glasses wearing pony flashed through my mind. For one heart beat, I felt stronger, lighter. "Silver."

'Now now, if you want to save your mother you can't have any friends. Remember? What I told you waaaaaaaaaaay back when you stabbed the Narwhal? The six traits you needed to prove to be worthy of helping me? Not that you really have friends to turn away in the first place. You were really overqualified for this in the first place.

'On the last Hearts and Hooves Day, you got exactly two cards. One from your dad, and that pale yellow pegasus with violet hair, feather cutie mark, maybe she's like you, maybe she's good at flying, like ANY pegasus, or just good at tickling.

'You know, for someone who claims to be the most popular filly at school, you sure don't have many friends. Your mother forgot rather easily for always remembering you in that beautiful mind of hers. Silver Spoon's friendship wasn't as strong as you thought if it couldn't survive one little spat. Tell me my little pony. Who has ever actually cared about you?'

Rich looked at the Heart and hooves card Rarity never got a chance to give Diamond.

"So that is it?"

"Yes."

"You made it yourself?"

"Yes."

"It's beautiful. It fits her perfectly."

"Thank you. I'll give it to her when she comes home."

"I know she'll love it."

I told you to stop it.

'After all. Who cares about a pony whose only special talent is wearing jewelry? You might be a nice fashion model, but the fans wouldn't really care about you, just your looks. Once they start to go, out on your plot you go.'

'But that's okay, because I'm your friend now. Well, not really, like I said you can't have any friends if you want to save your mom. And just talking about, gag, friendship makes me want to throw up in my own head. But I understand you, I'll be there for you, you'll be there for me, I have supported you, like you will support me.'

++++

Once upon a time. If I had been able to I'd have shown her a Hearts And Hooves Day card (Anarchy had a kick that day! He never got to tear a country down with his bare claws before.). But this card would have my beautiful swirly colored rings. But no. Not her. Never her. This is no magic trick. Her mind. Her spirit. Her heart. She is mine. You hear me Celly? HA! She is mine. One of your little ponies and she is no longer yours. I've always known how much it hurts you to see your ponies fall off the straight and narrow. And this little one, is in the abyss. She is not another pony to pull My Father's chariot, she is not another shadow to swarm My Mother's domain. She is only mine. Right down to her black little heart, she is mine.

++++

'But since I can't be friends with you. I'll always be your family. I fact, why don't you call me daddy?'

I, I have a father.

'One you loath.'

He'll be better when mom is better.

'How sure are you? And is your mother even worthy of a stallion who cheats on her? A coward and a pig? Is one of the only things my Mother cracks a smile about is seeing living things die and stars winking out of existence? My Father eats popcorn when he sees ponies hoof their own eyes out.

'One of my brothers lives to see countries implodes. One of my sisters lives to see those worlds afterwards as the people live or die purely by the law of the jungle. My other sister inspired Horsecraft with some personal chats and drove countless others insane. I also had a brother just liked to see things go boom. And then I was told there was going to be my new little...Ahem.

The point? I'd STILL take any of them over your father as family. Truly, you are a worthy member of my family. I'm certain all of them are agreeing with me right now. You've been a diligent little daughter haven't you?'

I remembered every time I felt the warm glow inside me when another mare left the house never to return. I'd never let papa replace my mother like she was dead!

I passed though what at first looked like a dead end, with a pair of tree stumps again looking cut down forever ago. I didn't even notice any details. I felt the sun on my back.

I'm sorry for every pony in Ponyville I just betrayed, I'm sorry Princess, I've betrayed you too.

But I couldn't betray my home guys, not after it finally means something to me again.

I guess this is what happens when you're loyal to more than one thing, you end up having to betray one for the other. What was it that musty old teacher said in that class I mostly slept through? 'A pony can not serve two masters.'

Before I made a choice between you guys and Gilda, and now I've made a choice between Cloudsdale and you.

Guys, for what it's worth, I'm sorry.

'Oh that one was a classic! Truly one of my better ones. And that wasn't even the punchline!'

WAIT! YOU DID THAT! BUT WHAT WAS IT-?! That was that Pegasus Rainbow Dash!

'And can you deny what she said was true? Loyalty always leads to conflicts. Ultimately you have to betray someone or other. That's the problem with putting your faith in anyone my dear. That's why I told you not to have faith in me, just like I don't have faith in you. Sooner or later you expectations fall flat. Anypony you make into a hero you find out is just a flesh and blood pony as weak and fragile as you. Nothing to believe in. Nothing to look up to.

'And that little scene means that you are almost to the finishing point. Which means it's time for you to wake up. Time for you to begin your final initiation, to cast aside everything the Alicorns gave you and embrace my gifts.'

You're not making any sense.

'Make sense? Oh what fun is there in making sense? I tried to think of a good build up to this next part. But seriously? I think it speaks for itself. Now let me erase the mortar and shackles you've built around the memory you sacrificed everything else to repress. You remember what I said about wearing somepony down then pulling out the final brick to make it all come crashing down? It's time for me to show you how it's done, my little pony.'

I heard the snapping of fingers.

They say when mom was a filly, she wanted to have fun. She loved to have fun with me and dad, but the rest of the time she was like a different pony. I vaguely remember how the parties we used to have were so much fun because mom was always thinking up new things. But now, everything was so scheduled. Like we were there for the party instead of the party being for us.

That's why I asked to have my cute-ceañera at Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie's crazy, but she was the best party pony in Equestria. Then those blanks had to ruin everything ! My day was stolen from me!

I smoldered with rage. Worthless blanks! What right did that have-?! Lots of potential?! One filly saying she now thinks she got her cutie mark too early like it was some kind of fashion statement?! All my potential stolen from me!

I brought Silver Spoon with me to what was going to a supposed 'close friends and family' cute-ceañera, private, just for us.

Mom's face, twitched so much that night. She kept saying how Silver Spoon wasn't technically family so technically shouldn't be here, but was here, and dad reminded her it was 'close FRIENDS and family' and she'd calm down again.

I was still bitter over my downsizing and humiliation. Silver Spoon moved like somepony had cut her on the inside. What was that about? Humph, if it was important I'm sure she'd say something.

I think mom was upset that I wasn't playing along with what she wanted the 'guests' to do at their own party like she normally did.

Mom's cutie mark had been...a little blurry for the last few weeks. The golden crown looked like somepony had smudged the edges or something.

I asked dad about the smudges once, he told me they was nothing. Like I couldn't see through the poker face he taught me.

Mom scolded me that I needed to have my eyes checked.

Dad picked up I wasn't in my normal high spirits, he kept saying how we should take a vacation somewhere to celebrate my new cutie mark and let the servants and employees handle things while we were gone. Yeah, and I could be away from those blanks and relax. But mom,

"I'm not trusting a thing to those dumb asses."

"Dear, those donkeys are perfectly smart and can handle the outlet for week or two. You can write out a precise schedule for them to follow while we're gone. There's nothing to worry about."

Mom's eye seemed to swirl purple for a second, then came the 'adult discussion.'

Silver Spoon and I flattened our ears against the noise. We fed our muzzles on the second round of cakes and treats, and enjoyed the party games in random order in defiance of my distracted mom's dictations. Not as much fun when it's just two. But, but two are all that's really needed when it's me and Silver Spoon. No blanks to steal the show here.

Silver Spoon leaves when her parents come to pick her up. Mr. Silver Axe keeps giving mom weird looks. Mrs. Silver Platter looks more intimidated when mom smiles at her. Bedtime comes none too soon, for once I'm in a hurry to go to bed and leave this day behind me!

I was so happy the next day was a day off from school. The last thing I needed was fallout from those blanks biting back. At least there was time for fillies to forget about it on the weekend and for me to figure out proper payback for their criminal antics. A way to make everypony forget about how 'wonderful' being a blank flank was and go back to praising me and mocking their worthlessness.

What did I dream about? I was too tired to dream. I-

...Every pony in Ponyville was a blank flank. Except me. And everypony was laughing at me.

The servant sniggered. Mom and dad chuckled. Miss Cheerilee giggled. Those blanks, Applebloom and those other two, they just cackling at me.

Stop it! Don't laugh at me! Don't you know I'm a princess-?! Stop.

My skins felt like needles all over. Then I was covered in cutie marks, for walking: breathing, eating, sleeping, turning door knobs with my mouth, everypony laughed harder.

"What are those things all over her?"

"Ha ha! Don't you know little fillies shouldn't have tattoos?"

"Run away and join the circus clown!"

"Silver Spoon where are you-?!"

I had never been so happy to wake up.

It was the weekend. That meant mom was going to be herself. No matter how busy things got, she always had time for me....She, she and dad, weren't at my public cute-ceañera so they could be ready for my private one. Nothing, nothing else to it.

It was time for breakfast, but after that horrible dream, I mean restless sleep, I needed to see mom first. I cleaned myself up a bit first, and put on my tiara (it was a gift from mom after all).

I found mom as normal in the upstairs study with the morning light coming in from the tall windows. It always made the room look more like a gallery than an office.

She was sitting in one of the loveseats. She...

She didn't look well.

Scared of my mom? Don't be ridiculous. I was a little cautious, she wanted me on good behavior after all. She's my mom, why wouldn't I want her approval? It was okay she didn't look quite the same, didn't act quite the same, didn't sound quite the same, didn't feel quite the same, she was still mom. She wasn't a stranger. I-I still know her. She was still mom.

Her cutie mark looked like somepony had splashed paint thinner all over it. Her cutie mark was supposed to be a gold crown, she said it was to embody her always reaching to be the best at whatever she put her hooves to. Now it was a brown and yellow smudge. Cutie marks don't change do they? She...she still loves me.

Her hair was a mess. No worries, it's the weekend. She was slouching. Was she tired?

"M-mom?"

"Oh. It's you filly." She said irritated. Her voice sounded...wrong, just wrong...

I took a trot back. Everything inside me told me to run. But that was stupid. She's my mother. But, even angry, she never calls me 'you filly.'

"Mom are you okay?"

I noticed she was holding her day planner between her hooves. "I like to think I've done my best to be a good mother, wife, and mare, done you agree?"

"Y-y-yes mom." Why were my hooves trembling? "Y-You're the best mom in the world!"

"And it's a good thing I spend so much time making sure everything is up to standards and the game is always won and mastered wouldn't you agree?"

"Of-of course mom." She was looking down at the floor.

"And I win the game, and still have time for my prince, and you." She sounded so calm. "And those who try to ruin the game, those who try to sabotage your chances of winning," She looked up, "That's a bad thing, wouldn't you say?"

Her eyes.

They were wide open, but the centers were little dots.

The veins in her eyes, they were like little cracks. Like a pane of glass slowly cracking, about to shatter.

"Yes mommy," Was all I could say. Why can't I look away?

"And when a little thief breaks into something very important to me and ruins everything, leaving nothing but a complete mess, then lies to her mother, that's a very bad thing isn't it?"

I let out a small gasp. "But I put everything back in the right drawer!" I just blew it.

"But you didn't put them back in properly!"

"But-but, I made sure everything was neat and square like you always have it!"

"And you call that back properly you little liar!" Mom shouted at me. Her eyes, were twisting .

Tears well up in my eyes, "Momma, I'm, I'm sorry! I just wanted to try them on! I didn't take anything! I didn't steal anything!"

She growled. "You weren't supposed to go in there and you did, you lied to me, you lied to my prince, you made a horrid mess and then tried to cover it up by putting everything back several milimeters out of place-?!" Mom rose out of her seat and trotted towards me, like a Timber Wolf towards a deer. My hooves were glued to the carpet.

"You are a bad filly. Fillies are fruits of their parents. Bad fruit should be thrown out. Thrown out fruit is turned into mulch."

She was right in front of me, I could smell her hot breath. "I can't believe the servants would leave fertilizer in the house like this."

She pressed her hooves around my throat and lifted me up.

"Mom! Stop! You're hurting me!" I cried out.

Mom's cutie mark melted, the colors twisted around and turned into a baseball with a screw. Looking in her eyes...it was like they warped into whirlpools.

"You-are-the-most worthless and selfish filly who has ever lived!" My mother spittled in my face.

I flayed like a worm on a hook.

This wasn't right. This wasn't real. Mom wasn't the wicked stepmother. I had to still be in the nightmare! I had to be! I was still in my bed sleeping! I'd wake up and run to mom and she'd hug me and tell me it's alright! That's it!

"You spoiled rotten, self-serving, self-centered, self-absorbed, self-promoting, useless annoying waste !"

I stopped struggling. It couldn't breathe. Mommy wasn't really saying these things. I felt like I was slipping away...like...like everything was a room fading as the light was turned off...I'd wake up from this nightmare now. Wake up from it forever.

"You're a pile of mistakes I won't make with my next foal." My mother's eyes were wrong. Everything was wrong. So this had to be a dream. My vision was darkening at the edges. I'd wake up very soon now.

"You're screwballs, all of you, even my own daughter."

"SWEET MOTHER OF EQUESTRIA!"

That was dad?...Right...Dad's here to wake me up from the bad dream now.

"GOLDEN, WHAT IN PONY HELL- IMPOSTER! GET AWAY FROM TIARA!"

Mom stopped applying pressure, but didn't drop me. I began coughing. I tasted something metallic in my mouth.

"Hello my prince," she said welcoming. "I'm just getting ride of a loose screwball. We can get to work on having our real foal as soon as I'm done. Just be a minute," she said sultry winking at him.

He took a trot forward. "I'd have to be screwballs to think my princess would ever harm our foal!"

Still holding me mom struck an indignant pose. "Humph. My Prince never place anything or anypony above me."

"And my princess would never place herself above her filly!"

She looked at me. So, indifferent. Like I wasn't a pony. "This is no filly of mine. I don't even see the resemblance. My purple pink coat, my purple white hair, your blue eyes. You must have cheated on me. You should be ashamed." She began to, began to crush the life out of me again.

I heard a stallion's battle cry, a brown and black freight train rammed into my mother, she dropped me, I hit the floor. I started coughing, I tasted more of the metallic taste and spat it out, staining the rug red.

+++++

The day before the white pegasi took me away?

I began to start feeling like I'm the only one who cared about maintaining the household, like everypony wanted to let the place descend into anarchy! So I worked even harder to stop them from doing it!

My little princess gets her cutie mark. It looks just like a treasure of mine! I should wear it with the one I gave her. That was the whole reason I made another one! Yes. It'd look small on me but- I find my room has been violated. Desecrated. Deflowered. Defiled. Tarnished. Tarnished? TARNISHED RICH!!!

...

Then-then. My little Princess. Doesn't she know. Of course. But. I had a little chat with her about something or other. And I gave her a big hug. Then my prince and I had some fun roughhousing! I think we might have broken some furniture. I might have gotten a tiny bump on my head.

We had a misunderstanding, nothing major. After all, he is my prince. We worked out it. Nothing major.

I think I saw somepony had broken into our house and hurt my filly, she was bleeding from the mouth. After all the security we paid for?

I can't believe it! And somepony broke into my little storage room. They must have broken into the house, hurt Tiara, smashed up the study, and moved everything an inch over! I hope the royal guard catch them and give them exactly what they deserve!

There was one silver lining. I realized that day, THE WORLD IS NONSENSE! HA HA!

Naked ponies in Ponyville, clothed ponies in Canterlot. Grips for cups when none of us have fingers. Door handles when none of us have hands.

Everypony everywhere, every zebra, every dragon, every donkey, every griffin, every cow, they ALL say something different for what's proper!

It was all meaningless! The game was meaningless! The best move wasn't to play. I was free! Free! Oh and I couldn't read anymore.

And when I told my mouth to draw a star it drew a triangle. Naughty mouth. You can't punish a mouth that well, I tried gargling boiling water but that didn't teach it a lesson, just made me not able to talk for a few days.

But I feel free again and I didn't even know I was trapped. I feel like I don't have any boundaries again. No rules. No restrictions. No walls. Everything is surprises. Everything is random. I can finally see Equestria for its real shape, everything was silly pandemonium. All those heavy weights, gone. I had true freedom.

I found my old beanie from my foalhood under our dresser. I felt like a foal again so I proudly put it on. It actually fit me pretty nicely! Spin-spin-spin it goes!

What were we talking about again? Oh well. Off to find my little princess. I need to save her after all. Because she's my little princess.

Small tap on the head for this pony wearing this nice dress my size to get her attention. Look at that she's asleep. I'll just borrow her dress since she's not using it. Covers my flanks nicely. Just act like a proper lady. I'll just pull her into this bush so no pony will disrupt her nap. The guards salute me in. And to meet with the princess and ask her where my foal is. I'll give her such a big hug when we finally touch again. Y-yes, a hug. D-don't be stupid. I'd-I'd never hurt my foal.

++++

'It's time for the truth,' He said, and whatever monsters were still inside him reared up for the final battle against the white prince that his wife and child loved. Like a thunder clap.

I saw it all stripped away. I saw him open up his chest and show his heart to me. I saw every monster he had been carrying inside him.

All of them bubbled to the surface.

Thank Celestia Silver and Sweetie were upstairs for real where they belonged. I checked repeatedly and put Opal's pet bed at the foot of the stairs with her in it for safe measure.

Because inside his soul was 'Ragnarok.'

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Liar. You didn't make her a mad pony. And I don't really care for being fed bogus info.)

"You don't appreciate being lied to? I didn't lie. I did make her that way! The lie was calling her 'that Thing.' I am the Thing. I did it all to her that day! I'm a monster. All I've done my whole life is fail my family.

"Twice I've seen it happen under my nose, I let those I love turn into monsters. I turned a blind eye to my wife twisting inside. And I never once saw my beautiful daughter warp into some vicious creature. A father is supposed to protect his family. I failed in my most important job. If only I was smarter or faster, maybe I wouldn't have destroyed my family."

I let the remnant of monsters inside him rant and rave, I didn't know how long this poison had been building up, but it had to come out, now. Have to let him push the thorn to the surface before we can it yank out.

"I had come in tell her I had broken down and already booked the tickets for vacation in Zebrafrica. The adventure she always wanted.

I found my princess, with a cutie mark that wasn't hers, eyes that weren't hurt, trying to strangle my little princess."

I'd have dropped my orange juice on the floor if I was holding it. Miss Tiara. My brain threatened to shut down. Golden and Diamond? It was impossible. No pony had tried to kill another in over a hundred years.

The foal looked shocked and sad. The pegasus hid her face behind a wing. The unicorn's expression was unreadable.

The images of my fight with Cheerilee flashed in my mind. Then my fight with Nightmare Whisper. And finally what Princess Celestia had told myself and Rainbow Dash after the dessert contest in Canterlot.

Were we ponies no better than griffins or dragons? No! We had left hate behind us! That wasn't hate, it was...it was protecting somepony!

Diamond, she still loved her mother? After that? I don't remember when I had seen blood that thick.

"How she spoke, how she acted, it was my princess, but wasn't her. Then she began crushing Diamond's throat again. I tackled her. Diamond Tiara fell. I forgot my own strength. She flew straight through a couch and into a book shelf, she left an impression." He stopped. He gritted his teeth.

"She leapt at me like a wild mare screaming, and brought a hoof chop down at my face...she stopped inches from my muzzle. Her eyes rolled in the back of her head and fell backwards unconscious."

I try to imagine his place. But I can't. I fancy that I love Sweetie as much as mother does. But I've never had a stallion, I don't know what he felt.

What had Diamond felt-?!

You interviewers ask,

"YES I CALLED A DOCTOR! YES I BROUGHT UNICORNS INTO MY HOUSE! I had to make sure neither of them had brain hemorrhages! Ponies get them, are perfectly fine for days, then DIE! And my little Diamond had nearly been choked to death! I thought her wind-piped was crushed! She was coughing up blood right there on the floor!"

"And what did the doctors find?" I asked.

"They saved her life," he said simply. "And I was too wrapped up in my grief to acknowledge it.

"I didn't change my name to Onyx Tiara because I wanted a fancier name or my dislike of my birth name. It was guilt . I had half a mind to go to Celestia and tell her to send me to the moon. I wasn't worthy to be her prince anymore! I did to express my love for her."

"Don't say that. I'd say you're more worthy than in a long time, and you were certainly proving your worth then." I try to navigate this storm.

"If she was sane she'd hate me. I failed her. And when Diamond visited her, she could have attacked her again."

And I finally understood.

"I changed my coat color, to escape the disgust of a stallion who couldn't save his wife and just hurt her instead. I should have been able to save both of them. Not one or the other.

"I didn't visit because I couldn't face the shame of seeing her. I failed her."

The way he said those words, it reminded me of Fluttershy's own endless 'hate me if you want' mantra.

"After she woke up, she'd forgotten all about trying to murder our foal. Like it never happened."

I think a part of me felt it was better that way. Sorry Applejack.

"I thought we'd just continue on. That I could just lie to her forever. But that morning after she woke up. She wasn't herself. Not in the least. She was like a filly lost in a dream."

Then the monsters bubbled up again, "I forgot my own strength. Like a fool. It's the most basic thing an Earth Pony is supposed to learn, that other ponies are just more fragile than us."

(Interviewer's notes (Pegasus): Hello! Your wife's a Earth pony too!)

"She might have been an Earth Pony, but, what I did to her, I hurt her. I made her worse! I know I did!

"It was just an episode! I'm sure it was! She'd have come to her senses and been herself again if I hadn't hurt her! She could have gotten help that could have saved her! I'm a monster!

Who's to blame for me being alone? I and only me. I am rotten to the core."

I had enough. I clear my throat to get his attention. "I must say that I am just so thoroughly sick of Onyx Tiara at this point."

He looked at me. Got his attention. Good.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO FILTHY RICH? In spite of everything Sweetie told me you were still a father who wanted to teach his filly that actions had consequences! Not some sad pathetic pony so wrapped up in self-recrimination he can't see the good he did do!"

(Interviewer's notes (Unicorn): A pony whose heart is rancid to the core wouldn't feel remorse. He wouldn't feel guilt. A pony who was just rotten would STILL be using random innocent and not-so-innocent mares as stand-ins for his wife after being reminded of why he loved her. A completely rotten pony wouldn't be generous to an old couple. A completely rotten pony would know nothing of love for his family.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): You were just a coward for not facing-up to it and not trying to do a thing about it.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Sister. Shut the buck up.)

"She's right." He says.

Oh no he doesn't! I slapped him good. I don't hold back. I don't care if it's lady like or not. I don't care about business connections or not! I won't see Diamond's father do this to himself any more!

He's rather surprised at how strong a unicorn fashion designer can be.

"How do you think she'd have felt if she made her way out of the fog, only to remember she's the reason her little baby isn't there to greet her?! Your wife was ill before you saved her from doing something while lost in the fog she'd have killed herself for when she escaped from her mind's maze! YOU DID SAVE BOTH!"

He startled. He stare in awe at me. But it wasn't the look of some royalty who couldn't comprehend being struck like Blueblood.

"So don't you dare COWARDLY apply EXCUSES as disgusting as BLACK AND WHITE to something as infinitely valuable as your soul!"

And he finally woke up.

He turn the other cheek. "Miss Rarity Belle...thank you."

"I just...I just don't want to see a stallion who was willing to make such a grim decision when it counted to save his family. I didn't want to see him destroy himself over something that didn't have a right answer."

"Too late."

"No! It isn't! And if you say it is again I shall slap you so hard your grandfather up in Pony Heaven will feel it! When we find your family, you will save them both! You're her prince, or aren't you?"

"We?"

"I, I've spent years pretending I was a stranger to my own family outside my sister. And I don't have any of your excuses. They just conflicted with my self image. And I've watched them drift away from Sweetie too, she's so young. If I can heal another family, maybe I can figure out how to heal mine. No. That's not it. I WANT TO help your family! There IS goodness inside them! Their better selves. And I'll help you find them."

I panted. Been a while since I went off like that.

"And I have a gift to give to Diamond Tiara. She didn't notice. But she was putting together a dress for herself with all the lessons I was giving her. It was almost done."

"I'm, I'm sure she'll be proud of herself."

"So am I. It was going to be for birthday. I was hoping she'd come back by the time it came."

"I sure that Miss Pinkie Pie will be more than happy to throw her a make up one."

"True." I smiled. "Now come on, let's get this prince charming spruced up shall we? It's more than a little past dawn."

(Interviewer's notes while clapping (Earth Pony): Yes! Yes! Yes!)

"Mind if I use your shower Miss Rarity? I, I need to wash some dye out."

I felt light inside. "I don't mind if you do at all. And please, call me Rarity Belle. Shall I fetch you a tie?"

"No. I think I've grown fond of my silver onyx collar. I think Golden Tiara will like it."

"I'm sure she will."

+++++

The next day. The next day they came, the burley white pegasi. I'm not stupid. I knew where they wanted to take me. Fat chance of that happening. I had one with his muzzle in the floor making a real splash the maids were going to have trouble getting out and was working on the other two when-when

I felt-

Diamond's forelegs. Her face. Her eyes.

"Diamond...why?"

Her eyes. She looked at me, she wasn't scared for me, she was scared of me.

Was there was actually something wrong with me?

She was helping the doctors hold me down. My princess would never do that unless... I don't know why, but I felt sorry for, something. My prince pulls her away from the pile of ponies. Why is he looking at me that way? "I promise mommy be well soon my little foal."

Where did she get those horse shoe shaped scabs and bruises around her neck?

Mommy's just a little unwell. She'll be okay.

++++++

"Diamond...why?" Asked mom as I helped hold her down as the white Pegasi took her away to where father promised she'd get better soon.

"I...I'm sure it was just stress Diamond, yes, that's all it had to be." Dad told me after they left.

"There's no way that thing had been my wife." He wasn't talking to me anymore.

"It all should go away in a day or two."
+++
"A week or two."
+++
"A month or two."
+++
"That wasn't her, it couldn't have been her. I wanted my princess back!"

Y-yes. It wasn't mom who hurt me. Mom would never hurt me. So there's no need to remember any of it. It was just a bad dream. So I don't need to remember it. It never happened. If I don't remember it then it never happened. So if I don't remember, then mom never hurt. Mom, never tried, to kill me.

+++++++

"NO!" I gasped. I feel to my rear knees holding my head. "IT'S A LIE! IT'S ALL A LIE!"

'I swear by My Mother, My Father, And All Of My Family, oh what the heck , I also swear to Celestia's Mother and Father that that memory was completely yours, completely real, and infinitely more accurate than most information stored in that mush of nerves inside your skull normally is.'

'Now when your mother is sane again. She'll know who drove her crazy. She'll know her own little princess did it. That means she'll hate you. So maybe you should go back. Abandon this stupid quest and be done with. But then you must really hate your mother too. Why else would you drive her crazy in the first place if you didn't already hate her? If you weren't responsible why did you try so hard to forget it in the first place? But if you love her, you'll keep going, and that means she's going to end up hating you. My my my my my little pony. To hate your mother and have her love you? And for you to love your mother, and her to hate you? What disharmony and confuson, you definitely are my little pony.'

I bit my lip so hard it bled.

'Well, which do you think is the better outcome?'

I don't know.

'That's a good pony.'

To Be Concluded

Episode 65: "Different From Everypony Else"

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I love cake. More than I should. During my solo reign there was what has come to be known as the Century Of Chubby Celly (I have since melted down the Royal Wheelbarrow). The Cakes' masterpiece was everything I wanted from a pastry. I have to commission one for myself.

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series 'Princess Celestia'
Different From Everypony Else

I'm sure you want to ask how much I plan, how much I engineer, and how often I simply take my opportunities when I see them. Well a lady is entitled to some secrets isn't she?

But I certainly didn't ask Pinkie Diane to bring my student and their friends here to Canterlot with her. But when opportunity knocks in my busy schedule, you answer.

My first order of business was after a wonderful chat with my faithful student (it's a pleasure she has become much more decisive when speaking to me).

"Twilight Sparkle, I have a most important assignment for you."

"Wh-what? Right now? I mean... anything, Princess Celestia! I'm happy to serve!" Twilight put on her 'fearless hero' face in record time. She continues to impress me.

"This mission is to help a pony very dear to me. You must-not-fail ."

"Anything, Princess."

I need to teach her the dangers of 'anything' sometime.

"You are to spend the entire evening with your parents."

"WHAT?!" Twilight covered her mouth and looked around at the random ponies now eyeing her, including her friends. "N-nothing!" She hoof-waved.

"What?" She whispered.

"I repeat: your mission is to spend the evening with your parents. No more, no less. Their schedules should accommodate you."

"How do you know-that is-Princess!"

"Don't make me make it a Royal Command."

"No, no, no! That's not it! I'm just -surprised-, that's all."

"I'll tell your friends that you're performing an important and private assignment for me. And I expect you to carry it out, -undercover-. Without delay. Do you understand, my faithful student?"

"Y-yes, Your Momjesty, YOUR MAJESTY!" Twilight blushed to nearly fainting.

It's only natural for ponies to 'leave the nest,' when they come of age... just a regular part of growing up. But they broke the mold with Twilight Sparkle. Very few foals of that age have what it takes to willingly leave a loving family behind in pursuit of a brighter star. Nonetheless, I vowed to Starlight and Moonshine Sparkle that I would never seek to usurp their place in her heart... and I have always endeavored to live up to that promise.

Twilight headed to spend time with her family.

One down. Five to go. For Pinkie Pie, I simply slipped her a note cautioning her not to become so fixated on the shadows of other worlds, that she forgot the one she lived in, or tried to dance with both at once. Did I sign it Celestia or Star-Catcher? I'll let you guess.

Simple friendly visits were all that was required for Applejack and the former Nightmare Whisper.

The Flutters haven't yet achieved perfect symmetry. Not that there's any hurry. Good things take time.

Thanks to Luna's timely intervention, Applejack V's accidental gift has stabilized perfectly. We can all sleep soundly, knowing Equestria will NOT be undone by a rampant worldwide epidemic of truth vision.

Yes, I have kept tabs on Trixie as well, my spies, er, informants in Hoofington tell me she is progressing nicely.

Two left to check upon, now. The two who, perhaps, needed me the most, and the ones I was most reluctant to intrude upon. After Nightmare Whisper, they DESERVED time to be happy and smiling. But I've delayed long enough.

"Rainbow Dash? Miss Rarity? I would speak with you. In private."

Direct little Alicorn aren't I?

They were quite startled that I addressed them directly rather than say Twilight or in general.

Allow me, for once, to bypass the stuttering, the fainting, the positive freaking-out, and skip straight to when they could speak like intelligent ponies again. Though I need to find out where Rarity actually keeps that chaise longue of hers, (I imagine she must have grown tired of hitting the floor.) Her drama rivals Lulu's.

"No, Rainbow Dash, it's not to give you an honorary spot on the Wonderbolts."

"Darn."

"Besides wouldn't ya'all rather earn that, RD?"

"Oh, right, heheh, yeah."

"Now please come along."

"Yer Majesty! What about us?" These ponies refresh me with their courage to ask.

"I'm sorry, you four, but this is for Rainbow Dash and Rarity only. "

Applejack sighed. "Ah understand."

Pinkie Pie peered at me over the top of a script titled "Mmmystery On The Friendship Express" shrugged, and tossed it over her shoulder. I make sure that Philomena burned it to ashes when she wasn't looking.

The Flutters said nothing.

I teleported us straight to one of my studies (yes more than one, this is a big castle). And informed the surprised guards outside that I wasn't to be disturbed.

This wasn't my personal chambers I had spoken to Twilight in. This was one of my more practical spaces. The paperwork was out of view, mostly.

On my desk I spotted the three new petitions on Luna's decree of outlawing during night hours the terms 'loony' and 'lunatics' in reference to mad ponies. One was Luna demanding I do the same like a good sister. And the other from a large number of traditionalists, firmly opposed to censoring a nine-hundred-year-old word. The third one was from Luna's loyalists, fans, and sympathizers.

Luna's sensitivity was not to be underestimated. I kept forgetting she's a thousand years behind ideas. I was going to have to explain slowly and carefully to Luna that we couldn't go making words illegal.

Taking time out of my schedule for this was nothing I had planned in advance.

I am going to pay for this later. With Luna herself and fully empowered we could split the workload between us again, split , not hoof over.

Maybe it was time for a personal assistant again, I had given up before after one turned out to be a spy, another an assassin, and a third went mad with power when she realized she could tweak what papers I did and didn't see.

Why couldn't I be a nice peaceful figurehead monarch yet?

Rainbow Dash tilted her head after getting her bearings. "Saaaay, Princess, is this going to be anything like when you had Applejack visit you? Is there a super secret magic rainbow stone yer gonna have me touch that'll make me like a zillion times faster and cooler?"

"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity glared.

I laughed. I forget how delightful these ponies can be. Firefly is definitely a part of her.

"No no, it's alright. And I'm sorry, we're all out of giant magical empowering gems. I may have accidentally tossed the last one out during spring cleaning. Just taking up closet space, really."

Rarity politely laughed at the joke. Rainbow Dash on the other hoof, "No way! How could you toss out something like that?"

Rarity courteously turned her head and rolled her eyes.

"Oh don't worry, I was sure to save the most precious things."

"What could be more precious than that?"

"You'd be surprised."

The Sunstone and Heart of Ponyland? I had more important things to keep track of.

Behind them, I looked at an ancient, faded, brittle 'photo' of Shady and Shady II hanging on my wall. Since I had dropped my invincible armor of 'The Immortal Unapproachable Sun Goddess' they two ponies opened up to me more.

"Princess." RD began again, sounding rather polite this time. "Scootaloo had a question she wanted me to ask you next time I saw you." I smirked. That little filly had so much faith in her hero, speaking with the goddess of the sun was a trifle in the orange filly's mind.

"Go right ahead."

"It's a little weird."

A trap is a trap only if you don't know it's a trap. "I insist."

"Ahem...'If you exploded, would you split into a Pegasus and a Unicorn?'"

Rarity fainted. Then got off her chaise lounge and got ready to beg.

I laugh again, I could tell those three were going to be very delightful to have around. "No, of course not. It would be an Earth Pony, A Pegasus, and A Unicorn that I'd separate into. Alicorns embody all three tribes."

Rarity's jaw dropped nearly to the floor. Sadly, the fun cannot last.

Then I put on my serious face.

"I wish to speak to the both of you on multiple points." I narrowed my eyes, I was scaring them a little. Good. "Do you know what is it like to be different? Truly different?"

Rarity, bless her, spoke first. "Everypony is different Your Majesty."

"That's an elegant way of saying no one is, my beautiful and generous pony. Can you tell me what it is to be different?"

"Well, no other pony has my lovely mane, my elegant coat, my eyes, and no other in Equestria has my cutie mark."

"You are speaking about uniqueness, my little pony. But what does it mean to be different?"

"Like Zecora?" Rainbow Dash found her courage and asked. "When she first came?"

"Closer to the mark, my brave and loyal pony, But Zecora's case represents what it's like to be unknown. An outsider. To have ponies assume things about you because you look different, not because you are."

"Different, as in...how you and your sister are unalike?" Rarity asked, inching forward. "You speak softly, she speaks grandly, you like bright colors while she prefers dark ones?"

"That is contrast. Traits that balance each other one. Ultimately, such traits complement each other and make themselves stand out all the more. All a part of harmony, really."

"Different, as in... how I'm the first pony who pulled off the Sonic Rainboom and can now do them whenever I want?"

"Now you're speaking of being special, Rainbow Dash. And before I forget," I nuzzled her. She froze; her princess, her goddess was touching her, this was completely unreal even for her!

"I know how it hurt you, when you couldn't do the Sonic Rainboom a second time, as a filly. Your fifteen minutes of fame... gone. You gained and lost several 'friends' in the blink of an eye. Going from being nopony, to somepony, back to being nopony again, hurt you. I know being the captain of Ponyville's weather team was not the job you dreamed you'd have at this age. But Rainbow Dash, the friends you've gained now are true friends, and you know they will not abandon you. That includes Spitfire."

I can see confusion in both their eyes; the outburst Rainbow Dash is biting back: 'How did you know?!' Then I watch a new thought take hold, and the outburst dies in her mouth. I'm her Princess, after all. The Almighty Sun Goddess. It's only 'natural' I should know everything about everything, automatically.

"Rainbow Dash, I had, I had no idea." Rarity spoke in awe. "So you really had a splurge of fame as a filly?"

"Well, duh! You don't pull off an impossible stunt without getting noticed! Ponies were talking about me becoming the youngest Wonderbolt in history! ...Then I couldn't do it again. At all. And they began to call it a fluke. An accident, that the rainboom happened on its own, and I just happened to fly inside it. Then suddenly, nopony had time for a one-trick pony."

"Oh, I see." Rarity pressed herself against her friend and gently nuzzled her. "My dear, I won't say I know what it's like to have all and lost all. I've had close shavings with absolute failure... but Fancy Pants helped me in Canterlot, and you all helped me with Hoity-Toity, after I made those eyesores. I'm sorry you didn't have friends who could've helped you the same way."

"Well, Fluttershy is, well, Fluttershy. And all it did for Gilda was earn her a few new enemies and marks on her permanent record after she clawed some ponies who claimed I faked the whole thing."

"She always kinda had an edge to her, but she wasn't always a sadistic bully."

"I can appreciate that Rainbow Dash." I spoke before Rarity could. "Treasure the Gilda who was your friend, find her again if you can, but protect your other friends from the Gilda that isn't if you must." I kept myself from shuddering, now wasn't the time for those memories.

Rainbow Dash simply nods. A friendship between a griffin and pony, any friendship, is too beautiful a thing to waste.

"And Rainbow Dash, don't worry. Fame comes and goes., but we won't be going anywhere." Rarity smiled at Rainbow Dash.

"Thanks Rarity." Rainbow's color gleamed a little bit brighter.

This was a delightful surprise. That makes this next part harder.

"Rainbow Dash, Rarity Belle... let me cut right to the chase. To be different, truly DIFFERENT, has nothing to do with appearances, tastes, abilities, species, or little personality quirks. Being different means to have a barrier erected between your heart and others'...Like the both of you have."

"What?" They ask together of course, eyes wide.

"What do you mean by that?"

"My word," Was all Rarity could say.

"I will explain, in time, but first let's talk more about what being different ISN'T, The characteristics ponies THINK sets them apart from others, but ultimately are but sand lines in the surf."

++++

I am Doctor Freudian Excuse. And I am currently facing the most painful trial of my life.

"So remember: being crazy is all in your head! The only reason all those nasty thoughts aren't going away is because you're not thinking enough NICE thoughts! Positive thinking; that's the key! Smile all your problems away! Make that your life's new motto, and drill it into all your patients' heads, and watch their neuroses melt away! Say it with me: Positive Thinking!"

Doctor Hoof Wave did not stop smiling the entire time. My eyes wandered to the duck cutie mark squarely on Dr. Hoof Wave's flanks.

"QUACK! QUACK!"

"Who let that duck in here-?!"

How can somepony repeat the same thing in slightly different ways for over an hour? Each more banal than the last?

If I had to see another 'happy face' slide I might need therapy.

Thankfully the slideshow finally ended. Unfortunately, his smile stayed where it was. This convention was becoming painful.

As Hoof Wave stepped down from his soapbox (where was that podium we were promised?) Dr. Head Scratcher asked:

"Dr. Hoof Wave, I must voice some, er, concern about your methods."

"Oh no need to worry, I come from a long proud line of experts in positive thinking."

I had to say. "Your biography said that your parents were circus clowns, and they begged you to pursue any profession but psychology."

"Oh, you read it?" Hoof Wave grinned wider.

"It was the only reading material in the lobby. And you wouldn't let anyone in until you had your preparations done remember?"

"Positive thinking must have perfect timing!"

"That's comedy!"

"Same thing." The 'good' doctor collected his equipment. "Well, I'll see you around! Got to host a lecture on teaching magic kindergarten. Busy, busy, busy!"

Dr. Head Scratcher looked at me. "Why are we here again?"

"Because it was this, or five hours of Dr. Ego's latest speech on why sapient thought does not exist."

"It really doesn't exist after the first two hours."

"You lasted a whole two hours?"

"I've built up an immunity."

"Maybe we try Dr. Id again?"

"Don't even joke."

I personally don't get why psychologists even have conventions in Equestria. All we do is argue, it's a wonder Windigos haven't froze us solid yet.

"Hey, where's the rice pudding?" Declared an Earth pony with an hour glass cutie mark pushing alongside us.

"Ugh. How does he keep getting in here? His credentials are different each time!" Head Scratcher exasperated.

"And how would you know that?"

"I'm properly paranoid." Head Scratcher replied.

Who was that pink haired white pegasus with the smiling sun cutie mark and thick glasses who kept appearing at these things? She always seemed to be everywhere.

+++

I'm happy that Twilight and, to an extent, Applejack, have been considerate enough not to reveal the true identity of Sunny Day to the world at large,(even if I have to customize her a little for certain events). Creating avatars has always been Lulu's forte. Hers always function with a commendable level of autonomy, Mine barely move without elaborate preprogramming. NO! I did not use an avatar to spend the day with Twilight! I would never do that. I simply create one when I need do paperwork and be somewhere else to learn new things.

+++

"What do you mean the chariot ride to Ponyville's canceled?!" Head Scratcher snapped at the unresponsive Day Guard.

"We've been experiencing some, er, rogue weather erm, doctor, I'm afraid you're going to have to rely on ground transportation."

On the road back to Ponyville we saw what they meant. Pink clouds raining chocolate milk? What insane unicorn was responsible for this? Knowing our luck we'd have to deal with the culprit after Princess Celestia cleaned the mess up!

Head Scratcher must already be trying to deduce what form of chemical imbalance the culprit suffers from. Head Scratcher always assumes that all mental ailments stem from some physical, tangible deficiency. Bad body chemistry, genetic defects, or some pathogenic disease... that sort of thing.

Me? Let's just say I didn't pick my name out of a hat. TLC says we balance each other out.

But this wasn't our worst problem.

"ISN'T IT GREAT HOW WE'RE GETTING TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER?!" Dr. Hoof Wave cheered as he hugged us both in the carriage we had rented.

Apparently Canterlot had decided to dump Hoof Wave on Ponyville (us) where 'everypony is crazy anyway' ("Why else would they go around naked?"). How this stallion held onto his license I'll never know.

The asylum was built far outside what had been a simple peaceful hick town.... (once upon a time,) Still, our humble sanitarium had never housed all that many patients. I remember some doctors suggesting to close us down and let Ponyville Hospital take on the mental patients in full. This would've been disastrous. While Ponyville Hospital did have a mental ward, it was a small, downright temporary affair. I dread our more dangerous patients being there.

Ponies! Some of them thought mental illness was something that just happened randomly and passed just as randomly... like rough weather. Then there were the ones who thoughts ponies were just born crazy and there was nothing to be done for them. Don't get started on the 'just a phase' crowd!

As far as medical practitioners went, we were below proctologists. Ponies didn't acknowledge our existence unless they had to. The asylum wasn't list even on Ponyville's official map!

Sorry, sorry, I suppose I was ranting a bit there. Every profession has its own 'hidden world' shielded from respectable society. If more ponies accepted us, maybe we'd catch some cases early enough to treat.

We returned to the asylum to find 'Screwball' still in her cell (for once). Maybe the new locks were actually going to hold her in this time. 'Barking Mad' had made a mess again. And 'Creepy Crawlie' had clearly skipped his medication again; lapsing into his usual rants about "the bugs."

Roid Rage and the other Orderlies hadn't caused any trouble according to our intern Tender Loving Care, nicknamed TLC. We'd hired her because she was the only pony I could find working on her doctorate with a black belt in Neighponese karate.

I HATED the convention, but it had been mandatory. At least it'd only lasted a day. What idiotic bureaucrats were monkeying with our branch of Equestrian medicine and why hadn't Princess Celestia reassigned them to Stalliongrad yet?

++++

For the record, I since have. I was sure to send them a cup of hot cocoa as a welcoming present. Heh. Though it might have been more of a frozen popsicle by then. I'm sure they enjoyed the scarves though.

++++

One patient saw the mad weather outside her window and complained that her medication wasn't working. Another worried he was relapsing.
It was surreal to actually tell them what they were seeing was real for once.

That was when the most garish, painful, and out-of-tune mockery of music invaded our asylum.

I began to suspect I was hallucinating until I asked TLC and Head Scratcher confirmed what I was seeing. Shared hallucinations don't work the way most sci-fi novel antagonists 'say' they do. Nope; what was happening was very real. And that was not a good thing.

Marching like the lead of a parade was a one-monster-band chimera. Head of a horse, and several other pieces, 'dragon-horse', a 'draconequus.' It was headed straight for our front door. The therapy staff gathered.

It pulled out a microphone from nowhere, tapped it, the noise of his claw hitting it coming out of our own intercom system, and called out, "ATTENTION, EVERYPONY, ESPECIALLY THE MENTALLY DERANGED AND CRIMINALLY INSANE! AS OF TODAY YOU ARE RIGHT AND EVERYPONY ELSE IS WRONG! CRAZY IS THE LAW OF TODAY, YESTERDAY, TOMORROW, AND THURSDAY-AFTER-MEALTIME!"

Inside Screwball cheered.

Hoof-Wave stared like an idiot. Head Scratcher's jaw fell from his muzzle. TLC paled. The orderlies hide inside. My mind went blank.

"Who are you? What are you? And what do you think you're doing here?" Head Scratcher finally built up to nerve to speak to the towering freak of nature.

We should have noticed the day and night going mad too, but we already at our shock limit I think. The chimera tossed off the instruments that continued (tragically) to play without his help. He put on a pair of sun glasses, and assumed a pose of great self-importance. "I, am Discordance Apophis Typhon. Or just Discord. I am the Spirit of Disharmony. I'm here to help liberate some ponies you've been trying to inconsiderately force to your way of thinking. Now would you all please step aside so I can get started? I'm about two thousand years behind schedule."

"Not happening," TLC declared boldly, her horn glowing brightly. "These are our patients and you're not taking them anywhere."

Discord grinned so wide his whole head should have fallen off. "I was so hoping you'd say that."

I braced myself.

Discord snapped his fingers. I heard every asylum slam open. Screwball was out and about in nanoseconds. Barking Mad barreled out, barking happily. Creepy Crawlie trotted out to escape 'the bugs.'

The chimera vanished from sight and reappeared behind us. He slammed a soundproof glass dome on top of TLC, that quickly proved impervious to all physical and magical attacks.

"HEY! What do you think yer doin'?!" Roid Rage snapped at the intruder, the fact it was a impossible creature meant little, I suppose.

"Oh a tough guy? Oh put'em up! Oh put'em up!" Boxing gloves appeared on Discord paws as he made several amateur boxing moves.

"Ya think this is a joke smart guy-?!"

Discord's punching gloves hit Roid repeatedly while Discord got himself a drink from a minibar floating next to him, drinking the glass then letting the contents burn a hole in the ground. Roid kept bouncing back into the creature's fist. His lower body was now a inflatable boxing dummy.

As that happened, Discord looked at Screwball with a blink as she trotted by. He gave a strange smile and zapped her beanie, causing her to suddenly begin flying with it like a helicopter blade. "There you go beautiful, enjoy yourself," He said, throwing her up and allowing her to buzz around.

Discord yawned and snapped his fingers and Roid was back to normal and more angry than I had ever seen him.

Then Discord's shadow tapped Roid Rage on the shoulder and punched him out when he turned around to look, then high-fived Discord.

The other orderlies leapt at Discord all at once and vanished into a dust cloud of violence.

"That's it, boys! Keep it up!" Shouted Discord, suddenly next to us in a director's chair, wearing glasses and a beret, shouting through a megaphone.

"Excuse me, but I think I know what your problem is," smiled Dr. Hoof Wave. "You clearly aren't thinking positively enough. So you're seeking to compensate for your negative outlook. But you can generate your own positivity! Make yourself happy! So there's no need to cause public disturbances to validate yourself."

"Oh really?" Asked Discord rubbing his hands together sounding eager and enlightened. He snapped his fingers and appeared on a therapy couch.

"Oh yes. Your attitude is clearly a result of a bad relationship with your mother, a negligence from your father, plus your siblings sent mixed signals by both being kind and hazing you, willy-nilly, thus, you're not able to discriminate between playful teasing and malicious misbehavior. And I think a happy relation with your foster family on the side that came to a tragic end."

Discord gasped and slapped his paws to his face, "OH! Oh my! Oh my indeed!" It was the worst acting I've even been subjected to, and Hoof Wave just lapped it all up. Or maybe his face was just permanently frozen in that smile. "I can't believe it! You got it all right! I feel so much better now! I feel like a brand new me! How can I ever thank you, doctor?!"

"Oh it's good enough to help a troubled soul in need."

"I have some friends who could use your help too. Would you like to meet them?"

"I'd love to!"

"Okay!" He slammed a small black box on top of Hoof Wave. No, 'black box' doesn't cover it. It was like looking into a hole in the universe! No light reflected off it and it had no shadow.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Head Scratcher gasped.

"Just introducing him to some friends. Residents of My Mother, really." He jammed a funnel on top of the 'black box' and blew a dog's whistle. Out of nowhere countless shadows -- ponies, dragons, griffins and more besides! -- flowed down through the funnel, into the box. We heard Hoof Wave scream. Then silence.

Discord removed the box. Hoof Wave stood there, colored all gray now, with an expressionless face, stared into nothing.

"...Life has no meaning. Our existences are pointless flashes in the ever-expanding darkness..."

"Seems they helped you too." Discord patted him on the head. He didn't respond.

We shared a looked of horror. I took back every last stupid thing I thought about his stupid smile. Then I noticed TLC's breaths were getting shallow and her motions sluggish. I began to beat futilely on the glass. I looked back at Discord.

"LET HER OUT! She's suffocating!"

"Oh is she? I must have forgotten to drill air holes. Silly me. I always seem to forget those. Bad Discord." he playfully slapped himself.

TLC's eyes dimmed.

"STOP IT PLEASE! Let her out!" I begged.

"Whoa--kay." The glass vanished with a pop. TLC gasped in fresh air. She fired a bolt of magic shaped like a hypodermic needle right at Discord. He CAUGHT IT with his bare hands! He twisted it into a bow. "Now, now. Silly filly. A little girl like you shouldn't play with sharp object. All HELPLESS, and unable to do a THING to help anypony."

"I am not helpless!"

"Oh yes you are. Always have been. All your self defense classes, all your learning, have been a waste of time. No matter what you do, it's never good enough is it? You're always helpless. A helpless little foal. Scared to be all alone . Always needing others when she says she can take care of herself. What a silly little baby. Aren't you?" Discord's eyes began to swirl different colors. TLC's eyes did the same.

"Silly...little...ba-ba..."
The centers of her eyes went huge and...she began to suck on her rear hoof.

"Tender!" Dr. Head Scratcher cried going to her side, then smelled her soiling herself. "MONSTER!"

With a finger, Discord flicked him back into the wall next to the front door, leaving an impression. "Oh, I'm not a monster, I'm just...morally unique."

The orderlies were still fighting, but now looked like rubber hose cartoon characters slamming into each other mindlessly.

Screwball came dawn and decided to join in the fun and tied them together like they were rope. "YIPPIE! THIS IS FUN! LET'S DO THIS SOME MORE! OH WHAT A CUTE AND BIG BABY!"

TLC began to wail like a newborn. "LOUD BABY! BAD!" Screwball backhoofed her, she cried louder, Screwball back hoofed her again.

"GOLDEN TIARA STOP IT!" I jumped to tackle her. Discord plucked me up between two claws.

"Now now, let her have her fun. It's not nice of you, trapping all these poor ponies inside just for the crime of thinking differently. How rude. I think you, and your friends, all need a change in perspective." Discord pulled a battery powered drill and put on a surgeon's mask. "This will only hurt for a second! So be sure to struggle and squirm a whole lot!" The drill bit began to spin as he brought it close to my head.

++++

Before the wave of rainbow light came, I had burned all of my own medical notes, turned all my furniture upside down and glued the carpet on the ceiling. I had thrown my beloved collection of drinking-birds off the roof of my house telling them to fly, they hadn't.

Head-Scratcher had painted all the walls polka-dots while TLC had acted like a unicorn toddler (with the magic reserves of an adult mare!) gleefully reeking confusion.

I found out my parents had been brainwashed to think they were five years old again and were in Nurse Redheart's care for bones they broke trying to climb a jungle gym. I didn't have time to visit them.

Barking Mad was confused when her family stopped acting like dogs and began acting like ponies again and carefully led her back to the Asylum.

It was a good thing Earth Ponies were made of iron. Screwball had fallen out of the sky when her propeller stopped lifting her through the sky. At least she didn't struggle when we found her.

It took a while to get Creepy Crawlie out of the hole we found him in. At least he was himself for another twelve hours after taking his pills. It hadn't helped Discord had made his delusions real.

Hoof Wave, I helped him sit down in one of the waiting room. He hadn't spoken since the wave of rainbow light had reversed the chaos. I don't want him to tell me what he saw.

A red in the face TLC had thrown any memento from her childhood she had into the garbage.

We found someone outside waiting for her: a purple Earth pony filly with a worn donkey doll with a little note book and quill.

"Excuse me. Your job is to help others right? But right now, you look like you're the one who needs help. Wanna talk about it to my little friend? She promises not to tell anypony."

+++

"Yo. Mr. Happy Clown. Can you hear me? I know you can. Don't you ignore me." Spoke a purple adult pegasus, poking Dr. Hoof Wave. "Are we going to have to do this the long and hard way?"

No response.

"Don't turn into a complete jerk on me. Look. So life isn't about ignoring things, and it isn't about overlooking the real problems, and it's not about pretending those problems aren't there, big whoop. Your job to help ponies deal with those problems right?"

No response.

"Geeze. This is going to take a while."

++++

One knock on my office door later (technically mine and Head Scatcher's until mine was back in order), an elderly purple unicorn came in, her mane was all gray.

"Can I help you?" I asked. Head Scratcher was personally double checking our patients.

"No. But I am here to help you and your staff, Dr. Freudian Excuse."

This would be of course where Rarity would look at you, my loyal and faithful interviewers.

She had to ask, "Are any of you even licensed psychologists?"

I said, "They have special dispensation from me, my little pony."

Rainbow Dash snapped, "Now hold on! Are you saying these guys acted as head-doctors for the head-doctors?!"

"Of course. Did you think that ponies who heal minds would be spared? If anything, they'd be the first targets of a monster who delights in -breaking- them! Once I realized Discord was loose again, I issued a royal command to all the therapists I could reach to relocate to neighboring countries and await further instructions, immediately after summoning you all to Canterlot. Not all of them received my orders. And not all the ones who received my orders escaped Discord's eye."

RD tilted her head. "Weren't you three supposed to be writing a book about the six of us and Ponyville?"

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth pony): We were? OW! I mean yes of course we are!)

"What?" Rarity opened her mouth. "Applejack told me that Mayor Mare said it was a weekly documentary and you weren't supposed to be let in until Ponyville had at least recovered to the point of basic functionality again!"

"Now now, you know better than to trust in rumors." I said with perfect elegance and wisdom wearing my most perfect poker face. "That's how gossip gets started."

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Hey Dash, Daring Do was a great book series wasn't it?)

"Huh? Well I'm still reading through it." Then RD smiled and nodded. "But of course it is! I can't put it down!"

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Heh. And it's series worth sharing. It's been great to see you enjoy it now. After everything that happened, I had to transcribe the entire thing from memory! I was really tempted to change a few things. But in the end, it didn't feel fair to the author. OW!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): We are getting off-track, Celestia.)

Yes. I believe we most certainly are.

"Young foals like to think that teachers only exist at schools. That they don't go out shopping or have any sort of lives outside the classroom." I was tempted to mention a certain something that symbolized how much Cheerilee was loved by her students but some secrets are just meant to be. I know, I know, I've seen ponies who think themselves secret kings of society use that justification. But there's a difference between foals who have learned their lesson, and ponies who want to want to keep everypony ignorant to a real and present danger. Did you know some powerful ponies tried to make the monsters of Everfree into 'just rumors?' Guess how it ended.

"Adults like to think they've matured past this perception. But too many adults don't really think of psychologists as ponies either. That they exist AS their job, that they don't have families, insecurities, or hobbies of their own. Dr. Head Scratcher's sister in Appleloosa thinks Discord being free was a good thing because she spent it as a seapony. She's sent me twenty-seven letters so far, demanding his release." I see them gasp. And here came the question.

"How could ANYPONY want Discord free?"

"Because she liked being a sea pony. She sent me another twenty-five letters that somehow made it through filtering demanding I use my magic to make her a hippocampus." I left out how enticing the fantasy was of using her as a the first step in select ponies wanting to be remade into a reborn sea-bound tribe.

"How unnatural," Rarity said. I wonder about the telling her the irony of her saying that, considering she had a hippocampus as her direct ancestor (pruney hooves was a tell tale sign even if I hadn't searched each of the bearers family trees after they purified Luna).

"Now, Rainbow Dash. I have shown you illusionary differences. Now let us discuss a very real difference you have place around yourself."

"What?" Rainbow asked in honest confusion.

"You carry inside you a truth that separate you from you fellow pegasi. That you were given the choice: Equestria or Cloudsdale. Of course, everypony 'knows' you were brainwashed into thinking one little cloud was your hometown. With all the delusions running rampant, it's hardly outside the realm of possibility, right Rarity? That 'announcement' before Cloudsdale went stark raving mad must have been just an lie."

"Princess . . . stop . . . please." Rainbow Dash begged, as I reopened up old wounds.
-
A swirlie-eyed pegasus trotted off of Cloudsdale with her wings folded laughing. During free fall she turned upside down. "Look! I'm calling UP!" Her laughing stopped abruptly.
-
"And because you bottled up this difference, it nearly cost you, your dearest friends: not all Nightmares end with a repentant pony. Friends who all forgave you almost instantly. It separated you from your friends, just like at the bottom of your heart it separates you from the pegasi of where you were born."

"Princess enough." Who else but these six would dare say 'Enough,' to 'Princess Celestia?' Their bond smells like Mother. "Can't you see you're hurting her?" Rarity reiterated.

I keep my mask on. I've taken it off far too much lately, even for them. She can't be allowed to see this hurts the sun as much it hurts her.

"What makes you think I can't?" I ask evenly. "So why, Rainbow Dash, after your friends know and have forgiven you, why do you still keep the truth secret from your hometown friends at Cloudsdale?"

"Because I've barely MADE friends with them! I only stopped treating them like a bad memory a year ago! None of them are true blue friends, the way Rarity or Twilight Sparkle are. When Discord told them what I did, they hated me. Threw vegetables and everything. I never want to go through that again!"

"Even after accepting the taint of chaos did addle your thinking like everypony else ? Even if we arrange for you come clean in a controlled environment where the facts aren't being twisted by a master of deception?"

"No! Not even then! Besides, I've made up for my mistake, haven't I? Helped save the world from Discord? From...well, Nightmare Whisper, too? Doesn't that entitle me to SOME leeway? Why go air my dirty laundry? Why dig up old bones? Pegasi NEED an 'infallible' hero they can aspire to! Someone a little more down-to-earth than an omnipotent Alicorn...no offense."

"Yes, you went on to become such an infallible hero, that your friends have had to save you from yourself, TWICE."

"PRINCESS!" Rarity gasped.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Stop it!)

"So, Rainbow Dash... you've chosen to carry that burden alone forever?"

"She isn't carrying it alone! I'm carrying it too! And so are Pinkie, Twilight, Applejack, Trixie, Fluttercruel and Fluttershy!"

Finally.

I give a small smile but no more. "Be sure to remember that. Isolating yourself when you don't need to doesn't end well. You must either resign yourself to taking this secret to your grave... forever driving a wedge between you and the rest of Cloudsdale... or you could own up to your mistakes. You want to be a hero? Then you have to accept there are sides to yourself you can never show."

"Princess you could tell them all if you really wanted. We couldn't stop you. But it's not really ABOUT Cloudsdale, is it?"

Ah Rarity. She deserves a medal. Most ponies would be too caught up in my diction by now.

"You're right, Rarity. Cloudsdale has been healing piece by piece. They simply want to move on. Yet... pretending it never happened is just as dangerous as digging yourself into a hole."

"Maybe. But I'm still confident that I'm picking the lesser of two parasprites."

"And I'll respect your decisions, whatever they may be. But please consider, Rainbow Dash: you've already accepted that no matter what choice you made, Discord would have still won his game in the maze. Now please accept your own decision. Since when is Rainbow Dash fickle about her choices?"

And that did it. I saw the spark of enlightenment in her eyes.

"Never. I'm never fickle."

"If you want to help Cloudsdale, ask if you're doing it because you're loyal to your fellow pegasi, or because your conscience won't let you rest. And accept that answer. And help those you can help instead of lamenting over those you can't."

(Interview's Notes (Pegasus): Okay! I get all of that! But why are you bringing this up NOW? She just proved she's matured after, er, after everything. Since when does Princess Celestia go out of her way to hurt one of her ponies?)

(Interview's Notes (Unicorn) to (Interviewer Pegasus): For once in your life: shut up. Celestia, I'm sorry.)

"No no no it's, it's okay. I think I needed to hear that."

And there was Rainbow Dash's loyalty, a material so strong that it could only be broken by striking it against itself. Covering one of my eyes with my mane is an old trick, but it works, nopony has to see the sun shed a tear over a rightfully cruel question asked by someone so dear to her. I silently evaporate it.

Rarity asks, "Princess are you alright?" After I said those things to a friend of hers? How generous of her to her goddess.

"I'm perfectly fine my little pony. Thank you."

And my little pony, I don't think I ever thanked you for helping Scootaloo complete her impossible skateboard stunt that managed to land her in Rainbow Dash's front step when both were in their hour of need.

(Whispered Interview's Notes (Pegasus): But I never mentioned that! Oops.)

Heh. You didn't need to. Scootaloo is an artist with her skateboard, but even she couldn't do that kind of jump all on her own, in particular when she was as distracted by the kind of pain she was feeling.

(Whispered Interview's Notes (Pegasus): I just gave her a little boost. It was her idea to visit Rainbow Dash. I just made sure she didn't do anything stupid. Those three, they try so hard they can't see their talents right in front of them.)

That passion will serve them well later in life.

(Interview's Notes (Unicorn): Princess, you've beaten around the bush long enough. You need to tell them. Tell them your real reason for speaking to them. I want them to continue as is too. But we both know that isn't how life works.)

I know.

"Rarity Belle. Rainbow Dash. My little ponies." I take in a deep breath. "Let us now discuss the true heart of why you're here. Both of you have developed the most deadly weapon a pony can have. You now carry inside you the resolve to kill."

The two gasp.

"You think I wouldn't notice? You think I wouldn't know? You are all precious to me. This is a true difference, my little ponies. It isn't one you've placed on yourselves that you can just let go, it isn't an illusion that you can just shatter. This is a difference that is real. And it can not be removed with any flick of magic." I hug them both with my wings. They're startled silent.

"What are you talking about?" RD asks first.

"Kill? Me? Never." Rarity looks aghast at the thought.

I sigh. "You don't need to lie to me. I am not going to hurt you or punish you. Rarity, when you fought Dame Cheerilee to save Sweetie Belle. Rainbow Dash, when you and Rarity both chose to put Nightmare Whisper out of her misery when you believed you couldn't save her. It wasn't just a dumb animal, not some demon or zombie. These were ponies you knew, Fluttershy was someone who helped you save the world twice over. Killing someone that dear to you should be unthinkable. But in both instances, you were doing it out of love for another."

I turn to Rarity.

"For Dame Cheerilee, it borne of your love for Sweetie Belle and others who you felt a responsibility towards, and you reacted in murderous rage. And in the case of Princess Gaia you tried to kill her because you loved her, not because you hated her." Then I sigh in sympathy. "But it was the tinniest bit easier the second time with Princess Gaia wasn't it Rarity?"

Rarity and RD said together. "Don't call her that."

"What she is now, she is, she can't escape it. No more than I can escape what I am."

"Should we call Princess Luna 'Nightmare Moon then?" Rainbow Dash dares to ask.

Over the line.

I narrow my eyes, Rainbow looks ready to soil herself. "I said 'Princess Gaia' not 'Nightmare Whisper.' They are as different as a kiss and a strike to the face, remember that. "

I see their eyes widen as realization begins to creep on them, but RD says quickly to escape that truth. "But we didn't actually kill ANYPONY! So it doesn't count!"

"That is in the eyes of the law, only. Each soul chooses its own path. You had each already made the decision to kill well before those fights ended. And that decision was yours alone, and it will stay with you forever."

My two ponies are in silence as they look at each other, then at me, then at themselves. They don't know what to say. What can they say?

My elder sister planned the roads a black filly, and built all roads as a red mare, and ends them as an old white Alicorn, but my ponies were the ones to choose what route to take. You don't want to see a universe without roads of fate. Believe me, it was much more terrible for mortal than it ever was for the Alicorns.

"You regret," I noted.

"Of course I regret!" Rarity snapped. "When push came to shove I acted like a savage!"

"Savages don't regret," I say. "I've lived a VERY long time, indeed. I've seen how ponykind functioned BEFORE the three tribes, and before the First Age. Before there was any semblance of civilization. Want to discuss savagery, my dear? Try stallions fighting each other to the death to mate with as many mares as possible. Marriage, as you understand it, not existing in any shape or form. And when predators came around, oh, you should have seen it! Herds dispersing like a cloud of mosquitos, racing away in all directions! Every pony for herself! Stragglers who fell behind? Eaten. Unmourned."

I saw the two of them pale. In for a penny, in for a pound.

"Art? Music? Parties? Nonexistent, at that time. THAT is savagery. And... they... had... no regrets! "

The two shuddered.

"Be happy and thankful you, my dear mortal ponies, can afford the luxury of regret. Animals can not understand regret, and Alicorns cannot afford to."

I would be lying if I said I didn't love Twilight like my own filly. I love all my little ponies: from Donut Joe to Pumpkin Cake. Yes Flim and Flam too, though they sadden me.

I was saddened by the death of Blueblood's mother. The same way I felt sadness at the death of Filthy Rich's father and grandmother.

I hate Discord for it, but he's right. I may be a pony, but I'm not one of them. I don't see such deaths as the fading of their hateful influence. All I see, is one of my ponies who left this world still trapped in their darkness.

" On Hearts And Hooves Day So Did Descend The Demi-Alicorn Cupid A Smile On His Face

Tasked By His Mother, Sixth Venustas Ai Astarte, Concept Of Love (All Loves), To Spread Her Message In Her Place

So Did Opportunity Offer Itself To A Young Pegasus, Loathsome That Love Spurned Her Many A Time To Seek Revenge

Forged From Iron Taken From The Chariot Of Tirek Or So She Claimed She Made A Spear With Which Her Wrongs Would Be Avenged

The Demi-Alicorn Cupid Was Not A Warrior, He Was A Messenger, An Archer To Be Sure

But Never Had He Been Forced To Defend Himself Before

With The Spear The Young Pegasus Slew The Demi-Alicorn Cupid, Hate Bringing Worse Than Death

For One Moment Across Creation, All Forgot What It Meant To Love As The Concept Of Love Drew In Breath

What Followed Was For Moment Across Creation Was A Feeling Of Sorrow And Despair

And Anger Of The One Whom The Most Pain Would Bare

Never Had Sixth Venustas Ai Astarte, Concept Of Love (All Loves), Known Loss So That Cut So Deep

Never Had She Known Rage So As When Her Son's Demise Rose Her From Her Sleep

Love Does Not Know Grudges. Love Does Not Know Malice. Love Does Not Know A Selfish Taint.

But It Does Know Loss, And Vengeance. A Mother's Love Knows No Restraint.

So Descended Venus To Retribution Make

So Terrible Was Her Fury That The Earth Itself Did Quake

The Young Pegasus Did Not Know Fear, She Merely Thought, "Now I Shall Slay The Goddess Of Love Herself! As I Did Her Son So Dear"

But Venus Struck Before The Pegasus Could Lift her Spear

With One Stroke Of Her Magic Venus Impaled The Young Pegasus Who Son's Life She Stole

Where A Heart So Young Yet So Black Had Been, Now Was A Heart Shaped Hole

The Young Pegasus Looked Upon Herself In Shock, And Fell To The Ground Having Breathed Her Last

The Young Pegasus' Name Itself Was Wiped Away In Venus' Fury Before The Day Had Passed

So Did Venus Pass Judgement For The Loss Of Her Son Whom She Loved So Dear

Not One Trace Of This Pegasus Remains, Where Her Earth Bound Home Stood Would Lay A Molten Crater Before Her Family Could Shed A Tear

Others Say Venus Did Far Worse Than Send The Pegasus To Her Brother Mortis, Concept Of Death

And Annihilated The Young Pegasus' Old Identity And Self, Stripped Her Of All Who She Was Since Drawing Her First Breath

And Remade Her Into Venus' New Child. Making Her That Which She Hated Now Adore

Others Say She Tasked Her Partner Among The Draconequi, Pandora, Fury of Desire, Make The Pegasus Vanish Forever More.

The Spear Forgotten, Was Taken By Strife, Fury Of Natural Selection.

She Would Give As A Birthday Gift To Her Youngest Sibling With All The Proper Direction.

But None Of The Four Other Draconequi Were Given It To Hold

Venus Took The Remains Of Her Son, And Returned To Her Own Domain Her Sorrow Untold

And Pegasi Across Equestria Felt The Irresistible Urge For Seven Days After To Have It Rain

The Prophets Say, To This Day Venus Wields Her Son's Bow From Her Vista But Could Never Heal Her Pain

I look at the confusion in their eyes. They barely understand a word. I keep forgetting not all of Twilight's friends are like her or Pinkie Pie. These two only know their own lives, their own world.

"That piece was written by Princess Luna before I learned of her identity as Nightmare Moon. I will not say how much Luna invented and how much is an actual account. But it does not do justice to the wrath Venus felt. Or how thorough her retribution was. It is something I will not share with you. For if a mortal mother's fury is terrible, imagine the wrath of a mother with the power of creation at her hooves. Venus could feel grief, but she wasn't allowed to feel regret."

"Black Heart and Hooves Day, the mythical day it was said that more couples broke up before or since in all of Equestria's history," Rarity whispered grasping for something she knew.

"Was the shockwave across existence when Cupid was murdered. The idea of one of my nieces or nephews dying had seemed impossible." I suspected Entropy might have helped The Young Pegasus forge her weapon, but I never found proof. "The Young Pegasus had singlehoofedly killed the idea of spreading love."

The two ponies looked at each other then me and asked together, "What you mean, 'spread' love?"

"Exactly. You think death must either be the end of things, or the next step on the road. But it's not as, black and white as that. "

The two look at me in complete confusion. "I don't quite understand..."

"And I don't expect you to. Death is but a door for you and me. But Alicorns aren't like the Element of Harmony: If one of us is annihilated, I mean truly no more...for instance, not only would there be no sun, the mere IDEA of something CALLED a 'sun' would vanish from the mind of everything alive."

I realize my mistake as I see fear and panic settle into their minds as the idea I've given them takes root. Cadence I wish you were here. I stretch out my wings and touch their foreheads, letting calm and peace spread through them before worse can take them.

"My point is, I cannot have regrets as a pony has them. Otherwise, they would have destroyed me by now. I can remember my mistakes, feel sorrow for them, but I cannot afford to feel regrets for them the same as you. I say again: So take comfort that you're allowed to regret. Animals cannot understand regret, and gods can not afford to have it."

The two sat in silence in front of me. Unsure and awkward in this world I've pushed them into.

"And that's is true difference." I sigh. "Rainbow, and Rarity. In your own way you're now more like me than members of my own family."

I don't blame them for looking at themselves to see if they've sprouted wings or a horn, I may have overdone it on what I've shared with them all at once.

"You are decent, upright, true-hearted, rational, and above all else, good ponies who made the decision to slay another. That is what separates you from practically everypony else. And I am truly sorry I can not take that away from you." I let my aura shine a little and nuzzled them and they nuzzled back.

"And I want you to know... that it's alright. I forgive you completely. I do not scorn you, or disdain you, or love you any less for this difference. How can I? I, also, know fully well what it means to be willing to kill another!"

They gasp.

"You... you do?" Rainbow exclaimed. "Who... who was it? Discord?!"

"A sister of Discord's, named Strife."

"Discord has a SISTER?!"

"Don't worry. She is no threat to you my ponies."

"Because you killed her?"

"No. Though I did try. Sweet Mercy... how I tried. Long story."

I sighed.

"Rainbow, Rarity... a day may come where the world will have need of your... willingness. If it should... please. You must be the ones to do the deed. Do not allow any of your friends to be cornered in such a way... that they're forced to lose their innocence."

"You make it sound almost like we're not the same ponies anymore," Rarity said.

"We all go through life as different ponies. The joyful foal, the cynical adult, and the wise old mare. I only hope that all of you become greater than you are."

(Interview's Notes(Unicorn): Celestia, I just wish to say, you have always been, and still are, a wonderful teacher.)

Thank you.

Lickety-Split wished his grandma was herself to see this, (lousy, rotten Diamond Dogs!) Four adult ponies, all of them eager to hear her old tales about the First Age. He'd had audiences before, but they were usually bored sorts with nothing better to do... that, or bullies looking for material to tease him about later. It was a dream come true, ponies actually WANTED to hear about his family's stories!

First there was a freckled courier named Speedy Delivery who had come to deliver some old books that were supposedly from the First Age (having been copied or restored six or seven times). Lickety recognized the author's name, 'Moochick' from his family's own stories, so he knew they had to be authentic, few ponies knew the names anymore. Lickety-Split didn't even need to resort to bribing him with an extra large tip. The teenage colt mentioned something about "Better than having to work on my birthday again," and was amazed by Lickety-Split's claims of the world in the age of myths.

And there was Lyra Heartstrings, Ponyville's resident harpist. She was also known to sit strangely, and try to walk on her back hooves while trying to pick things up with her front hooves. "I know it can work. I know it can," She'd always say.

Lickety-Split wanted to pass her off as one of Ponyville's weirdos, but given the personalities of the ponies in his stories and with what ponies said about his family's stories, that'd be boring holes in his own boat.

She was a perfectly polite and friendly mare, but if you got her started...

"During that crazy 'Gaia' Festival I felt so liberated I got a few steps in on my rear hooves in public. And I ran right into Twilight Sparkle with this white and pink Earth pony. And...the Earth Pony told me my way of trotting wasn't wrong! And not to give up! She sure sounded nostalgic.

"I wonder if I met her in Canterlot and just forgot. Remember the unicorn I met during my music study in Canterlot? Sparkler? She's moved here to Ponyville, turns out she was born here. I didn't know Ditzy had a second daughter. Then there's Twinkleshine and Minuette. They're a couple of magic students I met at this Birthday Get Together 'open to anypony and everypony.' It was supposed to be part of some scheme to get a shut-in they knew to try and open up. We're pen-pals now. They say they've even met Princess Cadence! Can you believe it?!"

And the only difference between Lyra and Old Pinkie Pie's blabbering was that Lyra came with an off switch. That switch was Lyra's other half, Bon Bon.

Bon Bon was a chatterbox in her own right. But she limited herself to mountains of small talk (this had gotten her a garbage shower during the brief reign of New Fluttershy). It was a irrefutable scientific fact that wherever Lyra was, Bon Bon was close by.

And that left Moth, Bon Bon's twin sister. The poor mare had wandered into Ponyville, one day, nearly starved to death.

Moth had gasped out her name barely awake.

It had taken lots of tender loving care. They'd considered taking the vagrant to Nurse Redheart. But the hospital was so far away. She just looked so famished. No need to get doctors involved. Moth had been so dirty, Bon Bon hadn't even recognized her until after they'd gotten her bathed!

"How could I forget my own twin?"

But the more time she spent with her sister, the more memories poured back in.

"I'm sorry, Bon Bon, I was traveling and I got lost."

"I can't believe our parents never kept us together. Like having two of us was a problem." Bon Bon remembered commenting looking through their photo album.

Having no place to stay, Bon Bon had instantly offered her twin a place at the home she shared with Lyra. Moth wasn't without her quirks. She had freaked out when seeing the spa twins for the first time, like she was scared they were going to hurt her. Then Moth told Bon Bon she should forget about it and Bon Bon did. The four of them were now good friends. Moth also had an inexplicable habit of casting fearful glances up at the sky. Was she worried about dragons?

Moth had also accidently made Rarity think Bon Bon had no idea who Rarity was, (neither had Berry Punch, but she had been downing salt again).

The strangest incident was when Lyra and Bon Bon had introduced Moth to Dr. Whoof (Lyra's biggest source of human lore).

"Hello I'm the-"

Moth had screamed her lungs out at the sight of him, and had run away in stark terror, yelling, "I don't wanna die!" hit her head on a pole, and fell unconscious.

"Er, maybe it's best if I just let you be," The Doctor said awkwardly.

Moth swore when she woke up that she was fine.

If Bon Bon didn't know any better, she'd swear Moth looked ready to vomit anytime she expressed love or affection for Bon Bon or Lyra. She'd gotten dreadfully sick after giving a hand-made card to the both of them last Hearts and Hooves Day, but had viciously refused to see a doctor. Bon Bon worried about her sister, but loved her all the same. Also strange was when Bon Bon and Lyra had gotten caught up in the whole Iron Will thing and let herself become a jerk to everyone, Moth acted weakened, almost anemic. But the phase passed, and so did Moth's weakness.

The worst of these episodes was after the Want It Need It incident that if not for a personal favor from Celestia and everypony still dealing with the day of chaos could have gotten Twilight Sparkle in much hotter water.

Moth had been just as blindly besotted with that 'incredibly amazing doll' as everypony else. (Bon Bon blushed at the momory). That night Moth shivered helplessly like she was bleeding to death.

"Maybe we can go see Zecora. She might be able to help." Bon Bon suggested.

"NO!" Moth neighed in full panic mode, "NO! I mean, not Everfree Forest, not the creepy witch-doctor."

"She's not some wicked witch." Bon Bon assured her sister.

"Who started that witch rumor?" Lyra quipped.

"I didn't!" Bon Bon swore.

"What do you think she keeps in there?"

"Oh I bet stuff like dragons blood, eye of newt, zombie-powder, toad-stools, timber wolf fangs, leeches-" Lyra quipped.

"Ick. Leeches? Dirty blood suckers."

"They didn't choose to be that way." Moth said.

"Doesn't mean I'm gonna let them suck the life of me! Besides, they're leeches, they don't have feelings. They exist just to feed off others."

"Right. They don't. It's stupid to think they could. " Moth agreed sounding sad.

Bon Bon and Lyra stayed by her side all night. She had stabilized by dawn.

In spite of her erratic sickness, Moth had been able to take part in the running of the leafs with Bon Bon.

"How'd you switch numbers?" One confused pony had asked. That was just part of being twins though.

Bon Bon had been about to try and break the door down just before Lyra, making noises like a out-of-tune harp, had tried to eat her . Bon-Bon and Lyra had both recovered, Bon Bon had spent several evenings with Moth just to remind her that she loved her. Saying she wasn't a leech just using her.

"So tell me more about the humans! Megan and her siblings!" Lyra asked eagerly in the present.

"Don't worry! We're getting to the humans, but we can't overlook the ponies who helped out. Megan wouldn't even have gotten to Dream Valley without them after all."

"They all seem like minor characters to me," Lyra said.

Lickety-Split narrowed his eyes at the adult, "There's no such thing as extra or minor character in real life. They aren't just...narrative devices. They're real, These ponies existed. Hay, one of them might even be your ancestor!"

"Watch your language young colt," Bon Bon defended her friend.

"You're not my mother."

"Can you, can you tell me more about the Flutterponies?" Moth asked butting before the conversation turned ugly.

Lickety-Split pounced, "One book said they were the size of regular ponies, another said they were the size of dolls. Their wings had really powerful magic, but they could only really access it as a group."

"You sure they're real if nopony can agree on what they looked like?" Bon Bon asked.

"Maybe they just changed over time," Moth suggested passively.

"I never thought of that," Lickety-Split admitted, "Unlike the other tribes, Megan didn't meet the Flutterponies until later. The Flutterponies were reclusive, and didn't want to be bothered by the outside world." Lickety-Split smiled proudly and held a hood to his chest, "Of course, Lickety-Split The First and Megan changed all that."

"Of course." Bon Bon rolled her eyes. Lyra, Speedy, Lickety and Moth's glares shut her up.

"So the Flutterponies, looked like other ponies?"

"Well they had wings like butterflies, and some pictures suggested they had feelers like some bugs do."

"Did they have compound-eyes and horns?" Moth asked leaning closer.

"Erm, not according to anything I heard."

"Oh." Moth settled down again.

"Doesn't sound bad to me, I mean, ponies with bug eyes? That would be just creepy." Lyra laughed.

"Yeah, just creepy," Moth answered, half-heartedly.

"And bipedal ponies with hands and their maternal material near their front legs instead of their back legs wouldn't be?" Bon Bon ask unbelieving.

"They'd be cute! I know they'd be." Lyra looked around sad to see she was in the minority. "...I know they'd be."

"Did the Flutterponies...have a queen?" asked Moth, looking somewhat curious. Hopeful?

"Yes they did, Queen Rosedust. She was kind and loved her people dearly."

Moth looked quite surprised. "Oh...well she sounds nice..."

"She also didn't want the Flutterponies involved with the rest of the world at first, she wanted Flutter Valley to remain apart. Even in the face of disaster. But after the events of the Smooze, she saw it was impossible to pretend other ponies didn't exist."

"Excuse me," said a voice. Twilight greeted the group and took a seat in the old house Lickety-Split was using for his 'story time'. "Mind if I sit in? I was told you know stories about the First Age and Paradise Estate."

Lickety-Split could hardly contain his excitement at another adult joining in. And not just any adult! Princess Celestia's envoy! "Sure, the more the merrier!"

That's my Faithful Student, she always follows through on my suggestions for research, she even showed me her notes when we spoke.

"Hey you got a visitor, Fruitcake, OW! What was that for?!"

"She has a real name!"

"You wanna make something of it?!"

"Maybe -I- . . . whatever. Can I go in?"

"Sure. She's not dangerous to you."

"Then why are you keeping her here?"

"Doc says she's dangerous to herself. Don't ask me, I just work here."

The wingless pink pegasus looked up from her bed. Everything sharp or edged had been removed. And the bed sheets were firmly secured to the bed.

"Who are you?" The pink pegasus asked aloud.

The orderly opened the door and in stepped the coolest cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane this side of a Sonic Rainboom!

"Hey, I'm Rainbow Dash. Wanna talk?"

"Talk about what?"

"Anything. Everything."

"Let's talk about getting Princess Gaia to give me wings again."

"I'm sorry. She can't do that anymore."

"Then can you get Princess Celestia to grow me new wings?"

"I'm sorry."

"Then what is there even to talk about?" The pink pegasus with a cupcake cutie mark turned away from me.

"Don't you have a sister and cousins who are worried about you?"

"So? I can't live in Cloudsdale anymore. Too dangerous. I might fall off. No one to save me."

"Twilight's been giving you wings."

"...That are too fragile to do any sort of decent flying."

"That's crude! There was a freakin' unicorn at last year's Best Young Flyer's competition and she came in second place! And she had had those wings for only a few days! As long as you don't do something stupid like set them on fire or fly to the upper atmosphere at high noon with the sun goddess within waving distance you'd be fine!"

She didn't look back. "And be able to take part in the Ponyville tornado spout?"

"Look. If . . . if I lost my wings, I, I'd want to just curl up and vanish too. But, but you owe it to those who love you to not give up. Unless you happened to born out of some cloning machine, I KNOW there have to be ponies who care about you somewhere. Ponies who are fighting for you. Who haven't give up on you. And if I have to say anything, I'd say you got the better deal."

"WHAT?!" She snapped at me.

"You got yourself back. You got your sanity back! Look around you at how many ponies don't!"

"If I can't have my wings back too then what's the point?"

'UGH! How do the others make this look so easy?' "Look girl. I'm sorry this happened to you. Really really really sorry. But where there's life, there's hope. If-if I lost my wings, I don't know if I could still follow my cutie mark. YOU CAN!

"And I know what it's like. I've been injured once. And I didn't have the bits for them to speed up me healing after I was out of the emergency room. I know it stinks, being trapped on the ground. To see the sky above you, almost mocking you. Like your hooves are glued to the floor. And you just feel so dang helpless ! But breaking down won't change anything."

"NOTHING can change anything! IF NOTHING CAN CHANGE! THEN WHY SHOULD I WASTE MY TIME LIVING?! AT LEAST I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS!"

"BECAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A LIFE THAT'S A WASTE OF TIME! THERE ARE-"

"WHAT?! Ponies who are worse off than me?! Is that you're going to say?! So that should be make me feel better?! What'll happen then you try to console that one filly at the bottom whose life DOESN'T have somepony worse off?!"

I was speechless.

I lowered my head.

"I'm sorry."

"Words don't fix a thing."

"Horseapples. Filly, I've seen words destroy ponies, and I've seen words save ponies, like me . You're totally right. This isn't fair to you at all. But it's even less fair to your friends and family that their cousin, daughter, work buddy, and Flight Camp graduating class-mate, lost something that she should have never lost, then lost even more, then finally got back what made her -her-, and began trying to destroy herself!"

She didn't sound angry or irritated this time. Just, sad. "Please . . . go away."

"No way!"

A differently orderly came in, "Yes way actually. Sorry miss, visit time is up."

"But I-"

"Sorry. Asylum rules."

I growled. "Fine! But I'll be back."

"Don't." The pink pegasus said not looking back at me.

'No. Not gonna happen. I'm loyal to Cloudsdale, no, I'm loyal to the pegasi who make up my home town the same way I'm loyal to Ponyville's ponies and my friends and to Celestia. I won't let her give up. I'm in this for the long haul. We'll reach the finish line no matter how long it takes.'

A knock at the door. On a Saturday?

This was the day Cheerilee normally got to have a little peace and quiet. On top of that, she didn't get many visitors, outside of the occasional student seeking guidance (which she honestly wished happened more often), except when Berry Punch wanted to go out clubbing.

She looked through the peephole and said surprised, "Rarity?"

"Can I come in please dear?"

"Of course." Cheerilee opened the door first before asking, "What do you need?" The mare's expression was difficult to read.

"I don't need anything. I was just wondering darling, if, if maybe we could spend the afternoon together? I'm sure I could help clean house while you grade papers or something."

Cheerilee blinked and smiled. "Of course we can. Thank you Rarity."

"No Cheerilee, thank you. " Rarity said kindly.

"Rarity, not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but what brought this on?"

"Oh...I just thought I'd try to make some new friends with an old classmate, you can never have too many."

"That's nice Rarity...now why are you really here?" Cheerilee asked. "I'm a teacher, Rarity, telling when somepony is making an excuse is part of the job."

"...I just felt that you're a wonderful teacher, a wonderful pony, and Equestria would be less without you." Rarity smiled. "I've never seen a mare who cares for foals the way you do. You care for Sweetie too. And I understand the choices you've make to protect her. And I know how heavy that weight is. So if you ever need a generous shoulder to help carry the burden, you can count on me."

A glimmer of understanding shone in Cheerilee's eyes. "Thank you Rarity. Please, just thank you."

~Fin

Episode 66: "Mind Games Part 8" (Season finale)

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My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic
Pony POV Series
Mind Games Part 8 of 8

Mom. Dad. I'll fix everything. Everything will be fixed. No more black cats for our family. And I'll be back soon.

The voice chuckled. 'Oh, you should know by now you won't be.'

What?

'With what you're going to do, my dear, I don't know how much you can bet on a family reunion.'

But-but you said-

'I thought you'd have figured it out by now. All I agreed to was your demand that I promise to make your mother sane again.'

But... but my home, my room, my friends, mom, dad, I just-

'You're free to trot away now, my dear. I can't stop you. I'm sure they'll find you and take you back home without trouble. You'll only be grounded for what, four years? But you'll be home. You'll be fine. You can tell Celestia about the mean voice in your head and they'll make it like I was never there. Then'll lock up those nasty little memories back in your mental vault again. I bet if you work really hard you can get things to be exactly like they were before you caved in and accepted the narwhal's lessons, beautiful Rarity's lessons.

'No one's going to blame you, or rather, no one will expect you to do anything less than quit. After all, to everypony else, you've always been, and always will be just a spoiled, selfish, vindictive, vain, greedy little nag who nopony really likes, at all. You? Do something selfless? That's impossible.'

What happened to my happy ending?

'Hahahaha! You're still a laugh a minute, my little pony! They don't exist. Every story 'ends' simply where the author can say 'they all lived happily ever after,' never mind they all grew old, got sick, and died, were buried in a graveyard somewhere, then forgotten about once their grandchildren died of old age too. All life is but a meaningless cycle, repetitive, monotone. Where's the fun in that? Makes me glad that I'm not burdened by such silliness.'

"You're going to betray me aren't you?"

'And just when I thought you'd never catch on. But I gave my word and swore to my Elders, sadly. Besides, you have a greater importance to me than a pawn.'

"Tell me."

'What do you want? A slideshow with me reading cue cards? A song and dance number graphically detailing my plan? Sorry dear, there are no spoilers here. You're going to wait for the punchline along with everyone else for the surprise.'

"But there is nopony else."

'I said 'everyone' not 'everypony.' You'll understand when you need to. Besides, you already know there's no true turning back now.'

The voice, sighed.

'Tiara... ' This was new. The voice sounded unsure, almost shy. 'I just want to say... ick... this really isn't easy for me to... I just, I just... blegh, you've been the best partner in crime I've enjoyed working with since time began. And I can't say I'm not sorry our time together this way is just about up. But we both have something we want more than anything and we can't let anything stand in our way. And you are perhaps the one pony alive who understands that.' Why did the voice sound like it was having teeth pulled? ' My little pony, my it's been fun to play with you. OW!'

"What?"

'And all this time I thought 'truth hurts' was just an expression.'

The shapes of the maze walls were all becoming curved. I had to be near the center now. Why weren't there any more guards? Was this place that insanity inducing even for them? I just knew the feeling had become a -need-, I had to get to the center, the way you had to breathe. Even if it wasn't my only hope to bringing mom back.

'And because it's been so fun being with you.' The voice sounded like itself again, 'No, I'm lying again, I'd have said this anyway. I'm going to tell you a little secret. You want to know why your mother never talked about her delightful family? No? Too bad. They were all crazy.'

My chest hurt.

'Every last one of them. Sooner or later, went as crazy as a kook. Makes you wonder why they kept having children if they knew they were all going to just go loopy anyway. One a few centuries ago wrote a book with the help of my sister called 'The Yellow Alicorn' that made ponies funny in the head who read it. They kept trying to burn it, bury it, but somehow it kept turning up. I don't know what the problem was, I've read it twenty times, it's a real page turner.

'Another wrote some very lovely poetry that for some reason kept opening portals to the world of evil-madness-inducing-squid-ponies. I wonder how cousin Ponythulu is doing these days. One of your family I think invented modern art. I've always enjoyed it, but I don't think the artistic world ever forgave her.

'Then there were the ones who just giggled at the walls in their old age being taken care of by family before they got the joke too. One I think married a wall-eyed pegasus, but there were just so many I can't say for sure, and my memory is infinite. The point is my dear, your mother's fight against destiny was lost from the start. You have a proud history of princess lunatics and mad ponies from your mother's family tree. Isn't it lovely?'

You're, you're just lying this time. I know you are this time. There's no way mom's family would have lasted that long if they all, if they all kept losing themselves. You're just making it up.

'Well... Maybe I'm exaggerating. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm selling you horseapples. How would you be able to tell? But my little pony, remember what the doctors said? That your mom's craziness was inherited? Wouldn't that be something you'd inherit too? Maybe we should just call you Baby Screwball.

The picture popped into my head. It was my mom, with those purple swirling eyes, a newborn, in diapers, sucking a bottle. No, it was me! "N-n-no-oh-oh!" More tears. Always more tears. Couldn't they ever stay away just once?

'You were always destined to go mad my faithful student. Like your mother before you, and her mother before her, all the way to my mother and sister.'

What? No.

'Well, maybe I'm exaggerating again, but what does it matter if it's one generation or one thousand? The point is, insanity is in your blood, blood the two of us share. My little niece. I didn't care at first when I sensed you and your mother. I've always been betrayed whenever I trusted anyone. Even family. But we both now know what it's like to be betrayed by our own mother don't you my little niece? My little pony, my faithful student. Uncle is here for you. My little one who carries the blood of my mother. Makes me happy I never got around to that family of mother's I knew was in Equestria somewhere. Maybe your family found its way back here to me by Fate. And I hate the stuff. And I know you do too. And I know your mother does. Consequences, cause and effect, they've done nothing but make our family miserable. I think she's the one Alicorn I've ever truly wanted to see annihilated. If only I had finished slicing off her wings!'

Alicorn of fate? Huh?

'Never mind. The point is maybe your little slavery brand from destiny never meant wearing jewelry. Maybe it just meant being a beotch.'

No, my cutie mark means... I'm going to end up exactly like my mother. It was mother's crown my cutie mark resembled. I got it doing something that drove her crazy. What makes me special is...

'Well, heh, what defines crazy and sane differs from land to land, so it's not that big a stretch. I personally think it's an adorable little quirk, my little pony.'

The voice gasped.

'But! You've spent your entire life with wanting and taking things out of a sense of entitlement! Isn't THAT a type of destiny? I mean, your home, your toys, your crown, your family, your family's money! Hasn't entitlement been your constant companion this whole time? Can you really just throw it all away? Everything just handed to you. But you certainly had a choice in the matter right? You certainly could have chosen something different yes? You could've turned right instead of left and took a completely different path, right? This was just the best possible choice. It's not like any pony born into your position would have turned out exactly like you.

"She's not stuck being stuck-up like you two!" Scootaloo swore at Silver Spoon and, Applebloom? No. Not Applebloom. Her flank had a jeweled apple cutie mark. Her bow had an identically shaped ruby in the center. Her mane and tail were stylized, and she didn't look as, rough as she should have.

Sugarcube Corner? What was I doing here? The look on Not-Applebloom's face was not pretty to look at.

"Hey, this is my party, why are you two on her side?" 'Applebloom' snapped, without an accent.

"Because... " Scootaloo said before she and Sweetie Belle showed off their devoid rears.

'Her side?' Behind them there was, me? No. There was no cutie mark, no crown. And she was wearing a white cloth torc around her neck. She had more muscle on her. And her mane looked like it hadn't seen a stylist in forever.

"Ya don't have cutie marks either? Ah thought Ah was the only one," Not-Me said with the accent my elocution tutor had hammered out of me.

I felt dizzy, but it didn't stop. Everything went like it did at that party.

But what I was seeing stayed with Not-Applebloom. And whispers, so low I shouldn't have been able to hear them.

"What a spoiled brat."

"Don't judge her too harshly. She did lose her parents after all."

"That's just an excuse. Her grandmother spoils her rotten and her siblings don't try to reign her in at all."

I was back in the maze.

'Oh my. And what was that now.'

Just you, showing me some cheap, some cheap fantasy from my head again.

'Oh really?'

Yes really.

'You really are a piece of work my little pony. Even for me. You think that was just a cheap show? Oh no. You didn't come up with that. And it wasn't mine. All you saw was a little something that happened somewhere else. To a filly whose grandmother chose to be just a little bit more ambitious and shrewd so she never had to see her family starve again. And another filly whose great-grandfather decided he wanted nothing to do with the snooty upper class. And maybe never drove her precious mother insane.'

That never happened!

'You mean to say it never happened to you. This version of you. There are many, many branches life can take my little pony. And the universe spreads out trying to explore them all. Rendering every last choice in the universe, moot. So my faithful student. Every choice you've made has been made meaningless because another you made the other choice somewhere else. Every deed, good or bad, all balances out to zero. My, Other Mother, always found it quite a chuckle, and she isn't the type to laugh, ever.'

Just-another lie. No way we could have, I could have been that different!

'Oh, you don't like the Old Lady's point of view? Pst. Fine, I never really liked it much either. Is She as boring as I think Her point of view is? I've always been partial to my brother's POV on letting anarchy run rampant. But let's pretend your choices do matter, what then? Well in that case, why don't we take a look at a choice you made? Surely you made the best choice and another Diamond couldn't have made a better one, right?'

"Hey Silver Spoon?" Another me asked. I... I suddenly felt guilt eating at my mind. Break into mom's room? Go through her things? I... I couldn't do it. So when she looked at me I said "Never mind."

I helped her keep the help in line, helped keep them organized and on task... Mom approved, she starts to act more like her old self... and gave me the tiara as a reward. She puts me in front of the bathroom mirror. The cabinet is open, there's some new bottles in it. 'Zyprex-

The mirror is closed, I'm looking at myself in the tiara. "Oh my little princess! You got your Cutie Mark!" Mom exclaimed.

I looked back, and there was my Cutie Mark as I looked at myself in the mirror...

Silver Spoon tells me bullying other fillies is wrong...she, she tells me her father always said to protect other foals...I apologize...I still can't answer the question though...Oh great, here comes the blank flank, I bet she's going to rub it in this time...Except she doesn't...She-

My party...the blanks are there, but I'm not making fun of them...we're dancing, having fun...They're not overshadowing me...

Mom...she's there, so is dad...She's happy...Hey, isn't that pony talking to her and dad from the-

We're on a boat, arriving in Zebrafrica... mom is happy... so is dad...

"Thank you, Diamond. I'm so proud of you. Between the two of us, we sure got the house in order! And with that schedule we drew up, we can enjoy our vacation without worrying about the house!" Mom said, wearing her own tiara, I wearing a replica... or was it the other way around? I... I don't know... but we look so happy.

'You want to know the only thing stopping YOU from being that Diamond, my little pony? That Diamond turned right instead of left, she didn't betray her mother. So what do you know? You have no pony to blame for your dear momma going insane but yourself.'

T-that was a lie! That...couldn't have happened! Or did it? AGH! I could? No!

'Oh you could, and that you did. If your choice can be the difference between somepony else going to be insane or them being perfectly alright, between your friend being a miserable bully and a happy foal with friends and her mother, then your choices must matter. But you made the opposite choice as that version of you, and Silver Spoon made the opposite choice of that Silver Spoon. So your choices must not matter. But if your choices can affect the world for others, then they must matter! Well which is it? Do your choices matter or are they as meaningless as that worthless tattoo on your flank?'

I... I don't know!

'Good pony. And now you have another choice, my dear, to continue on this little expedition, save me, and have your family hate you, or turn around, return home, and betray your dear mother again. Oh, this is making me feel all nostalgic. A weighty choice is yours to make, the right selection or a big mistake. If the wrong choice you choose to pursue, your mother will pay, and it's all because of you.'

I feel like my head is going to explode. I... I don't know what to do...

That was a lie! You made that second one all up! No way that all would have happened! Just a fake! There wasn't anything I could've done different! You're lying!

'Is that your excuse for everything my dear? What happened to you? You're normally so good at making excuses to yourself. No matter how self serving or greedy or cruel, you always found a way to tell yourself 'I'm doing the best thing,' 'circumstances made me do it.' Anything as long as you could say you were a good pony.'

They're not e-excuses. N-none of them. It's, it's not my fault some fillies can't take a little teasing, it was just a game.

The voice said deadpan, 'Niece. That has to be the most pathetic lie you've told in your life. Don't make it this easy. I am so disappointed in you.'

S-s-sorry. I'm just so t-tired.

'Oh you've never felt sorry for a thing in your life. You didn't back off from Applebloom and the others because you were sad for anything you did to them. You certainly didn't regret blackmailing them to keep adults reading your school newspaper when you knew they were hurting ponies.

'You didn't want to see them hurt because it was a game, you wanted to see them hurt because you wanted to see them hurt. Don't go pretending you were ever a good pony. Or were you once? Doesn't matter now does it? Or does it? You're a bully and you're proud of it! You don't need racial lines to say who's better or worse! You're better because you make others worse! Remember your school newspaper? Watching ponies be destroyed by their own secrets, fake or real? Your heart is as black as pitch and you've never cared! My Mom. My dad. My family. My friend. My mentor. My cutie mark. My... my, my, my!

'There's never been a trace of goodness in you! Everything you've done you've done for yourself and you know it and you're FINE with it! That is what makes you my child! Not Celestia's!

'Even when you're pretending you're doing it for somepony else it's always about yourself! And you are okay with that! And I am proud of you! Because it's who you are! Why should who you are have to change? Isn't that what your teacher is always saying? Love yourself? Be yourself? Embrace your talents? Don't be ashamed of yourself? Well you like making others hurt! Why should you change? Isn't it the WORLD that should change? By your own hooves? Isn't that how progress is made? You're just selfish my little pony. And that's what makes you, you. Why become just another identical pony who'd do anything for those she cares about? The selfless are identical robots who all follow the exact same guidelines and rules. It's only the greedy, cruel, lying, sadistic, back-stabbing, ponies like you that are ever unique. Take any play or book! Ponies try hard to get the role of the bad guy in a play because that's the best role! My sister tried it once, and she had a blast! All the heroes in stories are the same! It's only the villains who are memorable.

'And... you want to be an individual, don't you my dear? Or do you? Maybe just doing what you're told is easier, less painful, less confusing, and this world is so so so confusing isn't it?

'They like to say it makes sense, but you know that's just a big lie. It's all just a lie. Everything! There is no place in this world for ponies like you anymore! But that's the reality you have to face!

'And when you face reality, break its neck with a baseball bat! And you know that!'

The voice kept ringing in my head. It wouldn't leave me alone. I wanted to leave but I had to go forward. I wanted it to stop but I had to listen.

I feel something...weird...like ice.

There had to be only a few more rings between me and the center now. And it could all finally end.

'Tell me my little pony. What if I had been lying before? What if you were just going to leave after you freed me, and I, ugh, healed your mother?'

The voice was ordering me to speak. I had better answer.

I'd go home. To my family. With mom. With everything fixed.

'Ah yes. Your boring not-unhappy ending. But who will you have it with?'

I told you. My family. Mom.

'But which mother?'

I only have one mom.

'Hahahaha! Oh my little pony, that is the easy answer. As I told someone about oh...two thousand years ago, since when is the easy answer the right one? Think about it. How sure about that are you? What does a mother do? What does a mother not do? How does a mother make you feel? How does she make you not feel?... Answer me.'

I obey.

A mother gives birth to you.

'Oh, and what about the ponies who are adopted?'

A mother makes you happy.

'Really? Well how happy were you when she called you worthless?'

A-a mother looks after you.

'Oh, then I guess mother knew best when she tried to wring your little neck?'

A-a m-mother nurtures you.

'She's sure done a lot of that, when she's not busy looking at those four white walls.'

A-a m-mother i-is t-there for you.

'See above my little pony.'

T-that t-thing i-isn't m-my mother. M-my real m-mother will be back as soon as I-I help you.

'Oh so your real mother eh? Who got you to actually do something with yourself? Who was the first to have you make something you were able to hold in your hooves? Who taught you how? Who was the nice mare who did all those things for you? Answer me.'

I obey. "Miss Rarity."

'Oh yes, that was it. But of course she also shouted at you, threw you out like garbage, said all those awful things to you. And she let you get pricked and stuck making you learn it to begin with. And she wasn't even crazy.'

Why won't my gut stop twisting? Why can't I think of anything to say to that?

'Of course, what would your father say to you feeling that way to a narwhal? Betraying your mother? But who has acted more like a mother to you? Who has been there for you lately? Who forgave you for what you did? Of course, is it really fair for somepony to come stomping in and claim the prize at the last minute after somepony else worked so long for it? But did who worked for it more deserves it more? Of course your father would never accept a narwhal, but what does he know? He rejected your own mother, he must not know a good mare when she's right in front of him... Of course. How did you even find that out?'

What?

'You were a lovely little doll at the time, remember? How did you know your mother broke loose except by what those adults said to each other just before your father defended your mother's honor? Of course, your father abandoned your mother. Betrayed her. You couldn't go knowing that, because then it would mean your father really did still care about her. To lock that memory away. Remember now?'

N-n-no!

'Oh yes you do. The servants and your father wouldn't talk about what happened. And you my dear are far, far too self-centered to ever ask what happened to others. All that matters is me-me-me. You're so stuck-up you didn't even question how you knew something. It's only natural you'd know something. Everything else you knew, I gave to you!'

SHUT THE BUCK UP! CLOP-OFF!

'Of course. Since you're betraying Rarity after all.'

WHAT? NO I'M NOT!

'Oh yes you are. Once your mother is back to normal, you'll have no reason to see her again. No reason to be with her. No need to be in her presence. To learn from her, to have her fill that void inside you. OH SILLY ME! I am so stupid and forgetful! You already betrayed her! Duh! Remember when we started our quest together? Or maybe you're hoping she's dead so you won't have to choose.

'But maybe she'd still let you in her sight if you crawled on your belly and begged for forgiveness. But then you'd be letting your mother stay That Thing forever. Of course you were just using Rarity as a replacement weren't you? From the start. She meant nothing to you right? The way she made you feel warm, the way you felt like you had worth that wasn't connected to your parents' money, the way she took the time to patiently teach you ways to sew that she had no practical worth of knowing herself? That was all fake yes? Just a hold over.'

I clenched my teeth so hard my jaw ached. My head pounded, my chest hurt so badly.

I felt little black cold hands wrapping themselves around me.

'Or maybe not? Maybe she's been the real mother to you instead of a pretend big sister who just wanted to play games with you eh? One who actually taught you instead of just being an over-sized playmate. Who also worked so hard to feed you and shelter you. Or maybe a pony who knew you hated her just for her species, and insulted her when you first met, and still forgave and guided you. But who your father could never accept. You started this whole quest by betraying her, by stabbing her in the back to bleed to death. All just so you could save the mare who gave birth to you, then tried to kill you. Tell me my little niece. Was that really the smart thing to do? Oh that's right. You're the smart one. So of course it was. Wasn't it? So since you're so smart My little pony, can you give me the answer? Whose child are you? Who is your mother? Forget all that! I'll make it very simple for you. Don't want it to be too hard for a smart pony like you. Listen very closely, I'll say it nice and slow. Ready? Alright, here we go:

Which. One. Do. You. Love?

...

... ...

... ... ..

Like a volcano, all exploded.

Banged my hooves into my head and screamed, "I-don't-KNOW!"

My heart cracks in two. All of me shatters.

+++++

"AAAAAAGGHHHH!"

"SWEETIE BELLE!? SWEETIE BELLE!!"

Silver Spoon and Rarity held down the filly as she screamed and contorted on her bed. Screaming at the ceiling her back arched. Her eyes pin pricks and blood shot.

The long staying Filthy Rich called for paramedics without being asked.

"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! PLEA-EH-EH-SE MAKE IT STOP! IT HURTS! RARITY IT HURTS!"

Sweetie would have been crying if she could.

Rarity's telekinesis and Silver Spoon's Earth Pony strength could barely keep the filly on the bed as her body convulsed.

"Sweetie Belle I'm right here! Right here for you!" Rarity recklessly pressed her head against Sweetie Belle, just avoiding her horn.

"I'm here too, Sweetie!" called Silver Spoon's voice.

"Rarity! Rarity it won't stop! Help me!"

It hurt. Everything hurt. Where was she? Who was she? What was she? The pain! The pain! And-- She breathed out and collapsed.

"Sweetie!" Rarity pressed an ear to her chest. Heart still beating, still breathing, thank Celestia, thank all Princesses!

Sweetie curled into a ball, shaking, but not thrashing about like a mad pony. Now she did cry.

"Sweetie Belle it's okay, big sister's here." Rarity nuzzled her, Sweetie nuzzled back. The filly rolled an eye at the little Earth pony.

She said gently, "Silver Spoon... you're a good pony."

She closed her eyes.

She heard, "Silver Spoon, be a dear and fetch Twilight Sparkle while Mr. Rich fetches Miss Redheart."

Sweet black warm kind forgiving rest followed. She dreamed of singing for of all of Canterlot.

+++++++

'You and I are exactly alike. There is no difference between us. We're both heels without souls. We have black holes where that weak point called a heart would be. And we've rid ourselves of the imitations we pretended to have. We were born how we are, there's never been anything 'nice' about either of us. You've been a total sociopath from day one and you know it! It's alright now my Diamond Tiara... you can finally stop pretending. Let the real you show. You don't have to play by their rules anymore.

'I won't say I haven't lied to you, because we know everypony lies. Ponies say they like the truth because it makes them feel big.

'But I won't lie that I haven't laughed at you, because we know the most beautiful laughter is the one we have at another's expense.

'I won't say I haven't done all this for myself, because we know everything is just another shade of selfish, it's not like you'd go through all this for somepony else's mother.

'I won't pretend I haven't been cruel, because we both know cruelty is the natural way of the world, not a boring fa√ßade of kindness.

'I won't ask for your loyalty, because we know that's an illusion. Ponies are loyal only when it suits them.

'I won't ask for your friendship, because we both know all friendships are just castles in the sand. The only good in them is giving you a laugh when you kick somepony else's in their face.'

"I get it. I finally get it. They're nothing but a big lie, it's all just a lie, everything! They're just fiction ponies tell themselves to make themselves feel better! But that's the reality I have to face!"

'Do you finally understand how the world works my Diamond Tiara?'

"Yes... it doesn't.

Nothing ever makes sense. Rules are rules only when ponies feel like following them. Or making others follow them. The only choice that matters is to send all those rules straight to Pony Hell! Everything is confusion. The whole world is-"

'Say it my little pony.'

I'm so confused. But maybe the confusion is better if understanding is so horrid?

Venom dripped from my voice as the word melted out, "Chaos."

I'm so confused. But maybe the confusion is better if understanding is so horrid?

It. I do not fear it, I do not resist it, I welcome it, I embrace it. It.

I'm so confused. But maybe the confusion is better if understanding is so horrid?

My flanks feel like they're being stabbed by a million needles. I look at my cutie mark. It flickers like a broken image. It hurts. The ends of the tiara connect into a circle, the ridges multiplying into eight points going in every direction.

I feel nothing.

Princess, are THESE the lessons I should have been learning from the start?

I've always thought I knew so much, but I see I've understood so little.

I'm so confused. But maybe the confusion is better if understanding is so horrid? Everything is darker now. I feel cold but I'm not afraid.

Why is my coat turning gray?

'YES! Oh you and I have much to do together, after we're done utterly destroying the outstayed chaining status quo!'

"Yes."

I watched as the tendrils of black magic reach up, wrapping around my little pony. I go in for a closer look, seeing the empty, colorless, blank crystal set in a tarnished torc in her soul, shaped just like that mark on her flank. Wish I had popcorn as it slowly turns to black.

And then she said it. That wonderful, beautiful word I love so much.

"Chaos."

And it's like an explosion.

The crystal shatters in all directions, wish I had sun glasses! In its wake is left a beautiful black crystal in the much more beautiful mark that now sits on her flank! My signature on my greatest work!

YES!!! I laugh, of course I laugh! In your face, Celestia! She's officially mine! All MINE! One of your little ponies is now my little pony! And there wasn't one little bit of mind control involved!¬†Oh if old Morning Star could see me now! Game, set, match to moi! Hahahahahaha!

The final ring around the center.

My coat looks desaturated. The strands of my mane in front of my face told the same story.

Didn't matter.

My mane was a rat's nest again with the tiara in the center.

Didn't matter.

I don't even look at the rest of me. matters less.

Just like all those fake 'rules' didn't matter.

The voice had gone silent. It had nothing more to teach me.

Ponies say to be honest but lie through their teeth to be polite day by day.
Be joyful and laugh, at your enemy's misfortune, then declare your enemy wicked when they do the same.
Be generous to others, except when it interferes with what you want.
Be kind to your foals, and shout and spank and hurt them if they don't turn out how you want.
Say you're loyal to someone, until their beliefs and goals no longer mesh with yours.
Say "Accept differences and be friends," when all ponies do is group together with those who are most like them.

I'm free.

"GOT YOU NOW YOU LITTLE BRAT!"

'Oh you have GOT to be kidding me!' The voice exasperated.

I should have felt surprised.

A brown Earth Pony stallion, wearing a servant's uniform. He looked quite crazy. His uniform was torn in places, he had cuts and bruises, one eye wouldn't stop twitching. Leafs and sticks were caught in his mane and tail. His cutie mark was a winged martini. He also looked familiar. Oh right. The stallion who singled me out in the server's war room.

"I told you. Neither teleportation nor flying would save you. I'm like a dragon and you're my bit piece."

"Dragons care about their treasure," I said flatly.

"SHUT UP BRAT! No one skips on my watch! Not royal guards, not mazes that go in square circles or split off into left triangles can stop me! Heheheh. You got a head start because unlike you I don't abandon my post. But no one ditches their responsibilities to our Winged-Unicorn Queen on my watch."

"It's 'Princess.' And 'Alicorn:' as in all three tribes."

"SHUT UP BRAT! And where is that stupid filly who has the gall to tell me how to do my job?"

"Her name is Neatly Spell. And I do not know."

"I know you deserted together you little liar!"

"I am not lying."

"Pst. There really comes a time when you just need to beat the stupid out of stupid fillies."

He took off his jacket.

I should have been even more surprised at that.

So that's why an Earth Pony would have a winged martini as his cutie mark, he wasn't one.

"Doesn't that hurt?"

"Heheh. It's worth it for deserters who don't think to watch the sky."

"Why didn't you just fly here then?"

"Retarded hedge maze! Turning the entire world around when I try to fly over it!"

'And I bet Celly thought she had nothing left to learn from me. Nice comebacks by the way, my daughter.'

"Get out of our way."

"A brat like you doesn't get to use the royal we."

"You're distracting. Go away."

He turned red. He made a sound more animal than pony and took off. Shouldn't the guards see him? Oh wait. Looks like he hit an invisible ceiling just where the hedges stop.

He dives at me hooves first yelling.

I've never been in a fight before in my life. I don't care.

I duck down. His shoed hooves tear off the back of the maid uniform. It feels good. That was hurting before. It didn't matter.

He landed behind me and gasped as I turned around and I felt the air around me.

His eyes widened at me as he took a few trots back.

"What in Her Majesty's name are you?"

I didn't answer. Whatever he said didn't matter. I took advantage (don't I always?) and rammed myself head first into his chest. He screamed out in pain, blood dripped down from the hole in him. He grabbed me with both hooves, pressing against my neck, cutting off air. I can't breathe.

"Worthless brat!"

I bit him in the fetlock, I ripped away skin and drew blood.

He screamed and let me fall.

I climbed up him like he was a jungle gym, my little jump being bigger than I thought it would be.

I twisted about on his back and grabbed his wings and pulled them the wrong way. He jumped and bucked trying to get me off. He instinctively tried to fly and crashed hard. He landed on his side with me and skinned my side. I should have cried out too. I kept bending his wings until I hear hollow bones break and tendons snap. He screams again. I kept twisting until he stopped screaming. All I hear is the voice in my head clapping as I do it.

He lay there panting. His eyes darting about everywhere. I leaned in close on his back.

"You just got mangled by a foal. How many of your subordinates are going to be scared of you now? What are you going to do with your shield gone? You'll never fly again if you don't see a doctor very soon. You can try to kill me. But you won't be able to. I'll just cripple the other wing. Maybe I'll even rip it off." His eye looked at me, terrified. "And I'll tell everypony, how you got beaten by a little spoiled worthless filly. You'll be a laughing stock. No one will take you seriously ever again. Run. Run away, and keep running. I think the maze will be a lot kinder letting you out than keeping you out. You had a very bad flying accident. Made you appreciate being able to fly, want to go see the pegasus cities more."

"Bad accident... " He said timidly like he was presenting his own idea, his eyes locked in mine, he couldn't look away, "Very bad. Should leave. Long long time to recover. Want to see... pegasus cities more... "

I leap off and kick him in the flanks. "Now get."

"Now... get." He runs away as fast as three good legs would carry him.

The voice claps. 'Very, very good my little pony. A picture perfect manipulation! I'm so proud!'

Whatever.

The maid uniform was dirty, torn, and it was customary for ponies to hide their bodies in cities like Canterlot.

I tore it off. I entered the center of the maze.

+++++

Um. Excuse me but, I don't think you've ever interviewed two ponies at once before.

Well technically they have because whenever they've interviewed you or Fluttercruel they were interviewing you and Fluttercruel! Would that mean they were interviewing all of me together? I guess not. Okay. This is new, you have never really interviewed two ponies at once before.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Hey hey now. Don't go thinking-, we just thought it'd be nice ya know? Change of pace?)

You also always interviewed us at our homes or... I think also interviewed us while it was happening but, that, doesn't make any sense. But I know you've never held a picnic for us.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): We just wanted to spend a little time with you. You know? Have fun?)

Geeze that's nice! You should have asked me. I'm the party pony remember? Heh. You could have let me give you pointers.

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Think of it as a gift then. For the both of you.)

Alright. I guess.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): You have a pretty smile.)

Thank you. So do you, and that's a beautiful little phoenix.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony):... .He's not ours. We're just holding onto him. Until we can give him to Spike.)

But... but why would you give him to Spike?

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Because Spike needs to learn what it's like to take care of another weaker than him, someone who will look up to him, who will look to him for who he's supposed to become and who he's supposed to be.)

I thought ponies were supposed to figure that out on their own. Otherwise my pa and ma would have just told me to have a rock cutie mark.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Not like that Pinkie. It's like... like-)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Every pony needs help to discover who they are, they need a starting point, a guide. Who you become is your own choice, but it's meaningless unless you know what it is exactly you're choosing. Over ninety percent of adult blank flanks come from problem families or were orphans. No one is a solitary being. We stand together as one. No one pony chooses this world's path, it is the sum of everypony's choices together. Then there are the ponies who think their cutie mark is an expectation rather than a reflection and destroy themselves when they 'fail' to live up 'perfectly' to them.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): HEY! Enough with the doom and gloom!)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Isn't that what you normally do?)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Just to get ponies off their rumps and to act like adults. Not go off in lecture-mode on how depressing life is.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): 'Life' is different for everypony. Everypony makes their own choice. And those choices affect the choices others make, like ripples in a pond.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Then stop going on about the bad ones.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Does that mean you finally will as well?)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Ugh. Fine. You got me.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): So you see! We wanted to just have a little time with you two. Because you're really great ponies. Yes yes yes you are! Just for you two! Because-BECAUSE YOU'RE WONDERFUL!)

There there don't cry. Have a hug from auntie Fluttershy.

Hey that's my line!

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): It's okay. You... you don't deserve to have anything bad ever happen to you.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Yeah, the world would be a lot darker without either of you.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): Please focus on the positive... because those are the moments worth focusing on. You have earned your happiness.)

Whao! This is the first time I think you guys have opened up like this.

Actually when we last spoke they showed their feelings a lot then too.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Don't-don't make such a big deal out of it. We just wanted to throw the schedule out the window, just this once, because the only real questions we wanted to ask you were. Do you know how lucky you are to have such great friends? Do you know how lucky they are to have great friends like you? And what scares them more than anything whenever you have to save the world, is losing you? That you two are gifts to Equestria and your friends?)

Hey Fluttershy! If you blush anymore you're going to be redder than Big Macintosh.

Erm. I'm not used to lots of praise.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Liar.)

I'm not used to praise that comes from the heart.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Oh.)

And you. All three of you. You're acting like we're old friends you haven't seen in forever.

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): It's just so nice to see you two. I was kinda scared that you'd be different ponies after everything. You are. You're better ponies than you were before! And I'm not scared of the future anymore.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): I'm ready to live in the here and now thanks to you guys.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): And this old mare can let go of her regrets.)

Aaaaaaah. Group-hug-whao! All at once.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Hey old lady, kiddo, let me be the one to say it please.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Unicorn): As you wish.)

(Interviewer's Notes (Earth Pony): Alright.)

Say what?

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): We love you guys! You're the best freakin' friends a pony could ask for!)

Ahh. Don't you cry too. It's alright.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): I'll cry if I want to. Just you two don't go ever forgetting how much you mean to your friends. Your lives are NOT just your own. They belong to your friends too.)

Which means it belongs to you guys too.

(Interviewer's Notes (Pegasus): Thank you so much Pinkie Pie. And you too, Fluttershy.)

++++

"That. Is the most ugly, garish, and tasteless, and unoriginal statue I have seen in my life."

'Flattery will get you everything.'

I read the plaque. "Discord."

'I prefer the Handsome and Really Great Discord, but yes, the one and only.'

The statue the blanks, no, Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle broke down into a hoof-fight over in front of. All over what it was supposed to embody.

'Never guessing they were all completely right. But I was already on my way out, they just gave me the final push.'

All this way. Just for this. I was rather underwhelmed. "I was expecting more."

'Sorry to disappoint.' Sounded like it actually was. Didn't matter.

"It looks cowardly."

'Unfortunately I would have to agree it's not my best pose this time. Seems six users worked a lot faster than two, didn't help I let my ego and joy of being released get in my way.'

This time? Doesn't matter.

"Doesn't look much like the pony in my head when we started speaking."

'Didn't want to scare you dear.'

"You mean not lose my trust."

The sun was high in the sky. Except for the entrance behind me the hedges formed a perfect circle around it. Crayon drawings by foals were framed and hung around the inside looking like a new addition. All either showing friends and happiness, or perfectly organized patterns by foals with Aspergers. All set to be in perfect view of the statue's point of view. There was also a hoof made necklace of flowers around its neck.

'And Celly always said she abhorred torture. Ugh! Of course, I don't turn ponies to stone.'

Where did the picture of a cockatrice being knocked out by a pink pegasus come from? Didn't matter.

'Good girl.'

"So what happens now uncle?"

'You know what to do. It was engraved into the base of your brain. I should know my signature is right below it in big bold letters.'

"Fine."

'By the way. I'm the monster who turned you into a doll, made Silver Spoon's dad try to kill her, let your mom out of the nut house, and made your dad go crazy and turn anypony he touched into copies of your mom.

Which means it was Moi, who woke up your father to how little he knows his own kid aka you. Made it so you and your 'precious' mommy couldn't have a reunion while she was free, showed your mom what kind of person your father really is, and last but not least reminded your father of what he was missing out on. All for my own brand of amusement.' The voice said calmly, as if speaking of the weather.

"What?" I asked annoyed. "Do you want me to hate you now teacher?"

'I thought you'd like to know. After all this may give you an excuse to turn back.' The voice probably knew what my answer was going to be.

"After showing me the truth? After everything? After making sure I had no way to turn back?"

'Ah, no need to get snarky little one. But to answer your question, yes pretty much.'

"If you wanted a rise out of me you can forget it. My dad's a swine, you showed him what a swine he is. That thing would have murdered me if she had found me, you saved my life. And I don't care what favors you did for Silver Spoon."

'What about everypony else?'

"What about them?"

'Like Miss Rarity. I'm the one who made her think a giant rock was a diamond and brought out her greedy self.'

"So that's where that giant rock came from."

'Yes it was a giant rock. It was a rock and it was giant. They made a perfect couple. Because of what I did to her, she exploded on you when you came to her for your mommy's dress. So don't you mind what I did to Miss Rarity?'

"Why should I? Besides, sounds like you just helped her. And played a fun practical joke on her. But I don't like practical jokes."

'To each their own I guess. I just thought you'd want to know all these things.'

That thing would be my mother again very soon. Mom, my real mom, not that animal with a pony's face, this is all for you.

'Let the show begin! Hahahaha!'

I bit into my left fetlock and smeared my right hoof in the blood.

"I who carry the cursed blood." I placed a bloody hoof against the statue's side. I suddenly feel like I've come home.

I spoke the words the voice gave me. "By the Six Fold Keys Of Broken Bounds Undo This Six Fold Lock of Bonds Eternal, Shatter This Earthly Prison As I Offer My Heart Up In The Name Of Lord Havoc And Lady Entropy's Children As Did My Ancestor Long Before Me. I, Who Chose The Name Diamond Tiara do. I Who Was Born Tarnished Rich do of my own free will. To destroy the barrier between what is and what isn't, I do. Father."

++++

Princess Luna/Moonlight gasped as she dreamed of her head being speared by a giant lance.

Princess Celestia yelled at the pain that struck at the center of her brain, her subjects rushing to her side in an instant to seek to aid their goddess.

Flying away from the picnic, Fluttershy cried out and held her hooves to her head, only Fluttercruel kept her from crashing.

Princess Cadence felt an invisible knife pierce her skull in the darkness of her cage, wondering if this was a new way for the Changeling Queen to torture her.

"Dear, another headache? I worry about you," asked Princess Mi Amore Cadenza to Shining Armor.

We three gasped in pain as well.

++++

All in all. It felt nice to play the game again. It felt familiar. It felt, nice, it reminded me of when the world made sense, I mean, made sense before I went crazy. But it's fine. I know that unless I get well they won't let me be with my family again, but that's just the way ponies are. It's too bad that nopony can see the world as I can see it. It would be beautiful if everyone realized the game was just a game, and not to be taken seriously. Oh being able to read, write, or, or even getting my hooves to do what my head wants them to do again would be really nice. I don't know how to tell my baby I haven't been able to read any of the holidays cards she gave me.

And... to write her, a birthday card a-again...

Too bad the medication didn't work, it didn't make everything make sense, it just made everything gray, it didn't make it less confusing, it just made it muted. I was happy when Dr. Head Scratcher saw it wasn't working either. They tried a lot of medicine, but none of them worked any better.

And I played the game perfectly. Just slipping on through. Just kept smiling and nattering. Everypony too scared to ever show their real face, all of them hiding behind masks. I don't miss that in the least. The mask was always suffocating, killing the real me.

"I must say that dress resembles one a friend of mine was to wear here."

"Is that so-so-so?" I stay perfectly calm.

"Yes. You have good taste." He smiled and nodded.

Heh. Believing a pony had chosen the same dress as someone he knew was easier than thinking his friend had been mugged by an escaped princess lunatic. And why would he think that after all?

Too bad I had to hide my beanie. I mean, after the twenty-second pony stared at it, I began to think I might be drawing attention, better safe than sorry.

It was so lucky that they always seemed to be having parties at Canterlot Castle. Just like in the fairy tales.

Sometimes it was the rich and powerful working out their pecking order. Other times it was dignitaries of other nations puffing their chests. Zebras, dragons, griffins, donkeys, all playing the same game. The zebras always felt the least weird: at least they had cutie marks, even if I couldn't understand them most times. I really didn't care for some tattoo on my butt telling me what to do, but, I was used to seeing them on so many ponies, it felt strange to see creatures without them that could talk and reason.

According to my old history teacher, ponies had been -shocked- to learn other rational creatures didn't have cutie marks. That had taken a century or two to get over.

Then there were the mules and the hippogriffs. A lot of ponies considered them scary to look at. Something ugly. I thought they were just interesting. And I guess I envied them a little. Apparently some thought the hippogriffs were pretty, they were the symbol of the peace between griffins and ponies. I wonder if hippogriffs can get Cutie Marks.

The servers looked more relaxed than I remember servants being the last time I saw any. Why did most of the servants always act so scared when I came to visit my family? Oh yeah, I'm insane. Sometimes I forget.

Ugh! I hate this music! Couldn't they play something a little more, interesting? More wild? How did the musicians not die from learning to play this flavorless grayed out music?

I've hated this music since I went crazy, oh wait, I hated it before I went crazy too.

At least when dignitaries showed up they'd play music from their countries to keep the mood calm. Their music was always so amazing. Some ponies thought dragon and griffin music was too fierce, but I loved it, it really gets the blood pumping. Thankfully a Griffin had them put some on before I fell asleep on my hooves.

I couldn't wait to hug my baby again. I-I'm pretty sure I gave her a really big hug, so big that I might have accidentally bruised her the day before they locked me up.

"Excuse me Mr. handsome Day Guard Person. Where is Princess Celestia?"

The guard looked surprised at someone talking to him opposed to ignoring him like he was a statue (honest mistake). "Er, the Princess, Madam, has retired to her chambers for the moment, she will not be seeing anypony. I suggest you make an appointment."

I growled. Uh-oh. Stay in character, play the game, play the role, ugh. "I see. Where may I make an appointment with her then?"

Of course I had no intention of waiting that long. Just needed to charm the information out of the next stallion paper pusher I saw, and I'd have a direct chat with the Princess myself, and being a Princess myself, I know she know where my Princess was. Or maybe I should go find one of the other Princesses. How many were in Canterlot again? Just before I got sick one came back, who knows how many there were now.

The guard mentioned some officer or other. I wasn't really paying that much attention. Shoved it into the short term memory part of my brain.

Gonna find The Princess, gonna find my little princess, and gonna kick the horseapples outta whoever took her from me. Heyyyy, I bet if I do some heroic rescue of her, I bet my friends and family will come together and tell the doctors how I'm obviously a good mother and therefore it's morally wrong to keep me from my foal and that they're a bunch of ignorant, selfish phobics for daring to think that my princess would be safer away from me instead of with me. I'd give my baby such a big strong hug when we got our happy ending. A-and, she'll hug me back, she'll kiss me, a-and tell me how no one will take us apart again.

Now where was a lonely royal guard who I could charm and knock out, hide in a cabinet, and don their armor to get away. All it would take is a few 'That's a stupid question!' or 'Her Majesty's Orders' and I could walk into the royal treasure room if I wanted. Oh, wait, the fur color has something to do with their post, I remember Silver Axe said that once...oh well, I'll just find some dye or something.

Did I eat something that disagreed with me? I always wondered why potato chips and ice cream didn't go together. I feel funny.

I feel wavy.

I feel... I don't know what I'm feeling.

Uuuuuugh. I need to lay down. Thank Cadence for seats and tables.

Why is it so hot in here? No it's chilling. No hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. Ugh. Make it stop.

It feels like my brain and cutie marks are on fire. Burning.

Too much. No more.

Who shoved the fire brand in my head?!

Get out of me. Get out of me. Stay away from me. Stooop. I wanna stay here. Let me stay here!

AAagh... .Or do I?

The fog burns away.

My brain. Feels like clay.

Puzzle pieces change shape to fit again.

I hear a lot of mind control magic is supposed to leave the pony with no idea what so ever of what they did while under it. But then who was it that did all they did then?

It's a lie. The answer is: is you. Only you.

AAAAAAGH!

...

Ponies are gathering around me and the guards too.

What a spoiled and disobedient filly. Oh well. Just a learning experience. Won't make those mistakes again. But first better erase this one.

No!

The gears begin to turn the right way again, everything is clicking magically into place, the cogs spinning how they're supposed to. My cutie mark is burning. The gunk and grime spills out from everywhere! I see it all, I feel it all.

CADENCE WHAT DID I DO-?!

Oh don't fret my prince, I'll be done in a minute, then we can get to work on making our new princess. We must have missed a piece last time.

WHAT DID I DO?

I envy other creatures for being able to vomit. I'm going to drown.

WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE IF FILTHY HADN'T STOPPED ME? WHAT WOULD I HAVE DONE-?! TO MY BABY?!

"Madam! MADAM! Can you hear me!"

I lay there for a minute. The medical unicorns have been called. No. Not again. Never again.

Shaking, I get to my hooves. My dress got scrunched up. My cutie mark... it's, it's a gold crown.

Why doesn't confusion come?

I look in a wine glass. My eyes aren't whirl pools.

Everypony is looking at me. I'm afraid.

"I'm fine! Just an episode! Nothing to worry about!"

How long until the pony I clobbered is found-?! How long until a random guard recognizes me as the mad pony who gave them a wild chase? The mad pony who tried to murder her daughter-?!

Get away. Had to get away. I got five trots and fainted.

+++++

(Interviewer's Private Notes (Unicorn): I am unable to escape this conclusion. In spite of their polar opposite cause, polar opposite levels of sanity of the subjects afterwards: Alicornification and Nightmarification are the same process.

'Nightmarification' is when a pony is reborn as an Alicorn, but their heart is not aligned with all creation and the taint of black magic is within them. Similarly. Nightmarification for an Alicorn is when their heart's balance is destroyed in favor of one aspect of the pony in conjunction with suffering from black magic abuse.

Absolute power without absolute enlightenment.

In other words: for a mortal pony Nightmarification is a 'botched' or perhaps better to say 'incomplete' Alicornification. This is why the same amount of magical power is not released when an Alicorn themself undergoes Nightmarification.

This is why the Elements of Harmony are able to 'complete' the Alicornification for a mortal pony, or to restore the balance in an Alicorn's heart. They either create a new harmony or restore the old one.

Alicorns however are in reality spiritual beings. And as such can assume any material form they wish, from a tree to a parasprite. As such: a de-powered and 'cured' Nightmare with no experience of being an Alicorn in my opinion unconsciously will assume a shape that is most familiar and comfortable to them, ie, their appearance as a mortal pony.

Power cannot be destroyed. Apotheosis is a one way door. Though it is possible for an Alicorn to separate, or seal away their power (perhaps in the guise of a small creature or object), it is still a part of them and not a separate existence.

Also, Princess Luna's state suggests a great reduction in power is needed or a side effect of bringing the subject's heart into alignment.

In contrast to these findings, I have seen first hoof proof that the divided essence of one being can, under divine will, and only under divine will I suppose, become a unique spirit, but this spirit is for all intents and purposes a new born. Since the law of conservation of energy does not function the same in the spiritual realm, this does NOT in fact cause the loss of divine power from the 'parent' upon return to the spiritual universe.)

Manipulation is the name of the game
Manipulation, makes your games look tame
The goal is control of your soul...

We're playin' mind games, mind games
Stretchin' your mind till it snaps
We like to play mind games, mind games, mind games
Makin' the whole thing collapse
Mind games...

The stipulation is that we make all the rules
Intimidation, turns the wisest mares to fools
You're caught, overwrought, and distraught...

Suddenly the world seems out of joint
Don't you see ponies, that's the point?

We're playin' mind games, mind games
Twistin' your head out of shape
We like to play mind games, mind games, mind games
There's no way to escape

We like to play mind games, mind games, mind games
There's no way to escape mind games!

~Fin

Pony POV Series Season Five: Mind Games

by Alex Warlorn

Episode 56: "Mind Games Part 1"

Episode: 57: "Mind Games Part 2"

Episode 58: "Mind Games Part 3"

Episode 59: "New Game Plus Pinkie Pie +"

Episode 60: "Mind Games Part 4"

Episode 61: "The Third Alicorn"

Episode 62: "Mind games Part 5"

Episode 63: "Mind Games Part 6"

Episode 64: "Mind Games Part 7"

Episode 65: "Different From Everypony Else"

Episode 66: "Mind Games Part 8" (Season finale)