After the death of Thanos, he actually didnt die and was in Equestria because Iron Man is a idiot! Now Twilight and the Pony Gang must stop thanos from gettin the Elements of Harmony by maybe killing him or something? idk how they want to do it
this story is rated PG-13 because thats what the avengers movies are rated.
Thanos is back, and also front in this story! After iron man messes up his magic infinity stone spell, Thanos ends up in Equestria and he decide its time for him to take over there. But not only that, he has kidnapplejacked Applejack and taken her hostage! Will Twilight and whoever else be able to stop Thanos, or wil they be snapped in the fingers and die for a while? Find out in PONY AVENGERS: INFINITE WARFARE
Destiny Arrives (not the game Destiny the other thing)
BOOM went the knife shots. The Infinity War of avengers endgame was finaly at its end, and all hope was loss... Thanos had got the infinity stones, and Iron Man now cold not do anything to stop him from unleashing his evil finger snaps and ginger snaps. Thanos grinned his teeth as he look at Iron Man and cause he knew he won, and he said one last line.
"I am imevitable."
and thanos snapped his fingors. But something was WRONG! everybody was supposed to die, but they instead kept being alive! Thanos looked at his Infinite Glove and saw that the infinity stones was stolen away from him. (the infinity stones are these magic stone thingies that give Thanos power and there is six of them.) Meanwhile Iron Man got the stones just as Thanos notice and said to him.
"And I... am....... Captain Iron man"
and he SNAPPED his FINGERS!
"Aw dang it" said Thanos and he disintegrated away.
but the power of the stones was too much, and now Iron Man was so stoned he was going to die of overdose. it was sad moment for him, because he was dying. But also because, in his mind, he realize he did something wrong...
When he snap his fingers, Iron Man accidentally was thinking of when he was watching My Little Pony earlier and he send Thanos to Pony World instead of killing him!
"Hmm" thought iron man. "I probably shouould not tell anyone about this." And he didnt, because he died.
~ MEANWHILE, IN EQUESTRIA ~
"Yeehaw parter!" said Applejack when she was gettin the trees from her apples. she grabed her axe and chopped all her trees down and put all th apples in her plastic apple sack that is actualy recyclable and friendly for the enviyornment.
"Tarnation I got a whole 3 apples! Giddy up" she said and she went back home. she use the apples to unlock her front door and she got inside and step into her kitchen chair. she put the appels in her microwave and pressed the "apple pie" button to make apple pie which was her dinner for tonight. but... she realize something is WRONG!
"What in pardnation?" said applejack and she looked at the door and saw a knocking sound. she went up to th door and opened it and said AAAAAAAAAAAGH or OHHHH SHIT or something.
"NOOOOOOOO" said applejack.
~ MEANWHILE, ALSO IN EQUESTRIA ~
"SPIIIIIIIIKE!" twilight scorched her words at the house. "GET DOWN HERE"
"Ok!" said Spike and he went down the elevator to the frist floor and went to Twilight. "What do you want Twilight"
"Spike when you do a crap you are not suposed to do it on the floor! You have to use your litter box"
"Okay fine" said spike. "Anyway what is four dinner?"
"Spaghetti, pizza, hot dogs, and meatloaf." said Twilight.
"EXCELLENT" shouted spike and he laughed evilly cause he was gonna enact his evil plan of eating food so he would not be hungry anymore. but first: "TWILIGHT!" said Spike. "You have a leter!"
"What?" said Twilight and she looked at her fax machine and saw it printing a leter. She waited a hour for it to print and then grabed it and the letter said:
Dear Twilight Sparkle.
I have not been kidnap, so do not bother looking for me. But also please drop fifty thousand dollars in ransom money at my front door. And if you see a purple guy there then give Equestira to him to make him the new king.
Sincerely, Than- I mean Orange Apple Horse what is your name Oh its Applejack my name is Applejack.
"Stupid Appeljack I bet she wants me to pay her gambling debts again." said Twilight. "Okay spike im going to Sweet Apple Apples, you will have to make your own dinner! It is like a Choose your Own Advnenture Book, except its a Make your Own Dinner Real Life."
"But Twilighttttt!" said spike. "What am I suposed to do while you are gone?"
"I will have you babysat by jakkids cousin, Ghost Detective Dick America." said she and she pick up her phone. "Hey Dick America can you babyshit spike?"
"You got it," said Dick America. "Im saying words because im cool and know how to talk."
~ LATER TIME ~
Twilight drove to Sweat Apple Acres and she grabed her fifty thousand dollar and went to Applejacks door and used it to bash her door down then went in and put it on her table. "APPLEJACK!" said Twilight. "Wher are you?!? You need to learn to apply for a credit card!"
and then Twilight heard steps coming down the stairs. But what she saw walking down the stairs was not Applejack, but was instead........
"Applejack what are you doing?" said Twilight. "Why do you need this money?"
"Well ya see partener," said Applejack who just walked down the stairs. "Im bein held hostage for ransom and if you dont give Equestria to him then hes gonna snap his fingers, and then also kill me."
"WHAT?" said Twilight. "Who cold be doing this?! Is it Fluttershy again?"
"No," said a voice coming down the stairs. Twilight look at the stairs and a guy was walkin down them... he was big, and purple, and thanos. his name was Thanos, which I know cause he said thats what his name is.
"I am Thanos." said him. (see i told you) "Halfer of worlds, big murderer guy, and profesional beatboxer. You must be the Princess Twilight Sparkle that applejack told me about."
"You idiot," said Twilight "Why wold you tell him who I am?!"
"He was gonna kill me!" said Applejack.
"How is that bad? Then you couldnt have told him who I am." and she look at Thanos. "I dont know who you are or what your name is but you need to leave. Applejack does not allow being taken hostage in her house, it is one of the rules." and she point to a board on the wall that has a list of rules and that was one of the rules.
"Aha but I have a loophole" said Thanos and he grabed applejack and took her outside. "There, now I do not have to follow the rule!"
"FUCK!" said Twilight. "Ok, what do you want?"
"Equestria," said Thanos. "Make me king."
"No" said Twilight.
"Oh ok." said Thanos. "Wait no FUCK YOU! Give me Equestria or Applejack dies!"
"It wil take more than that to convince me," said Twilight.
so Thanos dressed in smart professor clothes to look convincing and he wrote on a chalkboard "give me Equestria".
"Wow that is convincing." said Twilight. "But also, we hav the elements of harmony! We can beat the shit out of you and you will lose."
"What ar those?" said Thanos.
"They are these magic stone thingies that give us power and there are six of them. It is not like anything you have ever heard of."
"Wait I can put those in my infinity gautlet!" said Thanos. "Where can I find them?"
"Theyre in the hall of the elements in Canterlot, but im not gonna tell you that."
"SHIT!" said Thanos. "Fine. if you wont tell me, i will find them myself." and he took applejack and snapped his fingers and they disappeared.
"Oh for suck's fake," said Twilight. "Now I gotta find the others and rescue applejack!"
WARNING: do not read this chapter if you cant read.
it was chaos. Thanos had alredy managd to get the elements of harmony because it took me like a month to write this chapter and he was already goin through Equestira halving the population.
"HAHA!" said Thanos and he cut a pony in half. "PERFECTLY BALANCED"
~ MEANWHILE ~
"And thanos is heading for right HERE!" said Twilight and she stabed a knife into Canterlot on the map which was on top of Raritys table cause they were holding the meeting in Raritys house because Twilights castle was closed for Fumigation.
"Why did you do that?" said Rarity. "that table was expensive"
"Raritey if you want a new table then just turn your stable into a table," said Rainbow Dash.
"How"
"you take the S off it."
"Wow thats a good idea darling."
"Anyway" said Twilight, "We ned to find a way to get to Canterlot and protect the elemtns! But its a very far off place and it may be too much work to go there. Im tired today because i forgot to sleep when i went to bed last night."
"But Thanos is too powerfule!" said Pinkie Pie. "What ar we gonna do to stop him? He might have a gun or something"
"That is the porblem," said Twilight. "We may have magic, but he has magic. Who knows what he capable of... we need more power to beat him."
"but how can we get power darling?" said Rarity. "I left my charger at home today"
"hmmmm" said Twilight but then her phone rang. She opend her phone and said "Who this?"
"This is Rarity," said Rarity. "Im hearin a weird sound outside my house and you gotta chek it out!"
"Cool" said Twilight and they all ran outside. But they saw NOTHING! other than everything
"it musta been the wind!" said Rainbow Dash. "The wind near my house goes BRNSHBRSNBRNSM a lot."
"Hmm. wait..." said Twilight and she went to Raritys trash can. she opened the lid and... a GUY popped out! He did a triple front flip outta the trash can and landed in the gras. He was purple and bald and big and he look a lot like Thanos for some reason.
"shit it's THANOS!" said Twilight and she used a magic spell to make a Glock G17 pistol. "We are gona kill you!"
"WAIT WAIT WAIT!" said purple dude (not waluigi). "I am not Thanos!"
"How do I know you are telling the truth"
"Im wearing a fancy shirt instead of armor."
"That make sense," said Twilight and she unload her glock. "Who are you then?"
"You see... Thanos is my brother." and he look down very solemly. "He always want to depopulate the universe, but me? i wan to REpopulate. I... am Ted Hanos!"
"Oh sweet!" said Rainbow Dash. "so you wanna stop the plans of the Thanos?"
"Bingo," said Ted.
"But how can you repopulate planet??" said Fluttershy.
"Hmm..." said Ted. "I cannot do it my normal way." and he looked at you. "These are ponies so thats gross and weird."
"then what is plan B?" said Applejack. "Partner yeehaw"
"Ive got it!" said Ted and he went to a ghost of a pony who got killed and he pulld out a knife and stabbd the ghost, and it made the pony come back to life cause it died while ghost.
"Thank you!" said the pony and it ran back to Ponyville and died again
"Excellent," said Twilight "With your ghost unkilling powers, we can stand chance against Thaos!"
So like, Twi and the gang materialized in ponyville and were goin around killing the ghosts of ponies who died to bring them back to life. "This is fun" said Fluttershy while she stabed a pony ghost a lot.
But as they kill their way through ponyville, they suddenly found themselves behind THANOS!
"Woah thanos has him back to us," said Twilight. "We can sneak up on him!"
"it might be rude if we do it without permission though" said Rarity. "Hey Thanos can we sneak up on you?"
"Yea sure," said Thanos and he gave a Thumb Up. So Rarity snuck up behind him with knife but then she tripped and droped the knife and it fell on Thanos's head and gave him a paper cut.
"Ow," said Thanos and he turn around. "HEY What the fuck are you all doing??" but then he look at who was with the group. "God dammit Ted why are you here?!"
"I heard Equestria had a thanos infestation" said Ted. "And im the weed killer."
"But I dont smoke weed"
"Shut up" said Ted and he did a objection pose like Phoenix Wright. "Thanos, I canot kill you becaus you are my brother, so instead I will order you: Leave this planet or fight us!"
"Dammit Ted Hanos you was always a thorn in my side," said Thanos. "Howevere, I am Thanos, and I rule! Becaus that is what rulers do."
"What no they dont" said Ted. "Rulers measure things you idiot."
"and they also SHOOT YOU!" and Thanos pull out a Desert Eagle. He was gona shoot Ted but...
"Dammit!" said Thanos caus he was crying Tears of Confliction and the tears fell into his gun and clogged it and it stopped working. "This isent over!" and he ran away.
"Shoot," said Ted.
"Dammet!" said Twi. "How are we gonne rescue Applejack now?"
"What" said Ted. "Wait hasnt Applejack been with us this whole time?"
"What the fuck" said everyone at once and they all look at Applejack.
"Fuck ive been caught, yee nope." said Applejack and she UNSHAPESHIFTED and she was actually a CHANGELING in DISGUISE who was working for Thanos in secret!
"You hav caught me!" said the change ling. "It is true, I am not Applejack, but instead a changeling. I hav secretly been doign evil things for Thanos, things like working for Thanos."
"But why wold you work for Thanos?" said Pinkie.
"Because he pay me money. I need to save up for a Nintendo Switch"
"Yea well now we know your secret, and now we can go tell Thanos you ar secretly working for him!" said Twilight. "Unles you do what WE say..."
"Oh no" said the changeling whose name was actually Johnny Ling. "Very wel, what are your demands?"
Thanos sat in his thronos in the throne room of his castle, exept since he hadnt taken over Equestira COMPLETELY yet his castle was actualy a cardboard box and his throne was a bean bag.
"Angry!" thongos angered at himself. "Ted may have team up with the ponies of harmony, but I still hav a dick up my sleeve!" and he got outta his chair and walked downstairs and to the basement, wher he had Applejack chain up.
"Fuck you partner!" said Jacklejack. "Leme go! I am allergic to being chained up!"
"Dont worry I brought Epipens." said Thanos and he handed them to Applejack. "Use those so you dont die. But dont almost die too much cause those ar expensive, because I am from America where its super expensive to not die."
"Oh cool thanks."
~ MORE THAN 1 SECOND LATER ~
Thanos opend the door and saw the air of canterlot. "Its almost time to enact my plan," he said. He lookd at his watch until the minute hand moved to the "Time to enact my plan" part, and he blinked evilly and ran down the street. He got to the castel gates and was gonna say "Hey guards can you open the gate for me please" to ask them to open it for him, but he didnt want them to know it was Thanos so he said it really stealthily so they couldnt hear him.
"Alright sure" said the gourds and they grabed their spears and stabbed the gate open. Thanos said "thanks" (also really stealthily) and walked in. When he got in he started runnin down the halls toward the throne room, but he thout about how he likes to be realy balanced and so he wanted to do that.
"Because I am thanos I must have all things balanced" He said so he got a Unicycle and balanced on that while ridin it over to the throne room, and he borrowed two spears from a guard (the guard liked to dual weild) and he grabed some plates and balanced them on the spears. Two guards tryed to attack him but they missed on accident and landed on the plates and balanced on them. "Yes perfectly balanced" said thanos.
Thamos unicycled into the throne room. "Princes Celestia!"
Celestia (who is a zombie cause of when she died in The Fall of Detective jakkid166) lookd up from her phone. "Who is here?"
"YOU are here!" said thanos. "And I, THanos, am here to take you kingdom away from you!" and he dumped everything on the floor.
"Okay"," she said. "what is your offer?"
"I can give you Ten Bucks," said Thanos
"WHAT?" said Zombie Celsita. "I need at LEAST twenty bucks."
but then Thanos snapped his fingers and halfed Celestias offer.
"Okay I guess ten bucks is fine" she said and Thanos gave her the dollars. But she looked at the dolla and saw it was actually COUNTERFEIT FAKE MONEY!
"oh NO!!" said Celestia and the counterfeit money police came in and beat her up and tooked her to money prison.
"Haha simple plan." said Thanos and he sat on the celestia throne, whic was known galaxy wide for being the most comfy chair in existance because of it being filled with bags of Wonder Bread and clothed with one hundred percent pure finest sandpaper. "Dang this chair is so comfotable," said him. "I am so cumfy I want to relax and chat with my friends."
So he pooted up his phone and went onto Discord to chat some, and he went onto the discord server for his home planet. But then he got sad...
"I forgot," said mr. thanos. "My home planet died, so all my frends are dead..." and he cryed as he read the last messages from them.
personfromthanosplanet975 - 11:78 PM hey guys do someone want to come to my house and play the new Detective jakkid166 Pro Skater 4?
thanoscousin42 - 11:78 PM we cant, we are dead remember?
personfromthanosplanet975 - 11:77 PM oh yeah darn
Thannos cried so much and you felt bad for him because this is sympathetic moment.
But THEN, Johnny Ling burst in! "President Thanos!"
"What" said Thanos. "What"
"I have news!"
"Im busy," said Thanos. "Message it to me on Discord."
"Ok." and Ling got out his phone.
johnnyling007 - 12:36 PM sir thanos i have cool new info i got from spying on the ponies :)
purplenipple32 - 12:37 PM im busy, message it to me on Skype
johnnyling007 - 12:37 PM fine
So they switch to the skype app and
johnnyling007 - !@:#* PM sir thanos i have cool new info i got from spying on the ponies :)
purplenipple32 - fuck i typed that wrong i forget what time WHAT? why ded you wait so long to tell me? say it NOW!
johnnyling007 - [time] the ponies ar coming to your house to surrender!
purplenipple32 - numbers AM aw HELL yes! ok go back to them and keep spying to make sure they do that.
johnnyling007 - ??:?? ?? but thats BORING i dont want to!
But then thanos used his super evil Thanos Intimidation Technique.
purplenipple32 - after the last message >:(
johnnyling007 - this is the last message ok sheesh fine
~ JEANWHILE ~
"This is Bad," said Ted Hanos.
"What is?" said Twi Lights Parkle.
"My favorit album by Michael Jackson," said Ted and he put it in the record player. "It help me think. Anyway," he say as he listen to it, "We need to come up with a action plan of action for stopping Thanos."
"I have a idea!" said Applejack. "Okay heres what we do. We defeat Thanos!"
"That mighte work," said Ted. "But we need help. There is 1 of him and 7 of us, so we are outnumberd. Even though bad guys are negative numbers."
"But who can help us?" said Rainbow Ash. "No one else exists."
"Yeah," said Rarity. "Its not like a mysterious mask figure is going to crash through th window and get glass all over the floor and punch me in the face and offer to help us and go with us to beat thanos and be the hero at the end who wins."
"Yeah youre right," said Ted.
but then the doorbell rang.
"Ill get it!" said Twilight. "It must be the pizza I orderd." so she went to the door and opened it and it was the pizza guy. "Hell yea!" said Twilight and she tippd the guy and took the pizza. "Thanks for the tomato frisbee. Whats your name?"
"Mysterious masked figure," said the guy.
"Hey we need one of those," said Twilight. "You should help us beat Thanos!"
"Sure that makes sense," he said and he went in.
"Exellent," said Ted. "With the power of Deep Dish we can have hope!"
"Ahhhh," screamed Bob Tool as he strewtch and get out of bed. "It is a day that is not bad. I can tell because I did not die in my sleep last night." and he wet into his bathroom to eat break fast. He poured his cornflakes into the bowl and chomed down, and he got a spoon and ate some of his finely aged milk. "Time to work for the day, nine to five. Nine minutes to five minutes" and he step out of his RV (which is next to the detective jakkid166 house(TM)) and he went to him tool shop.
He went behind the counter and a pony came up and it said "Hey Boob Tool, do you have any thing to hamer a nail with?"
"Yes," said Borb and he gave her a nail. "Like they say, you fight fire with fire, and in same way, you fight nail with nail."
"Thank you, tool!" said the pony, and she left without paying but is okay because it didnt count as steeling, becaus e the nail was made of iron.
Bob (which is short for Bobert) recline back and read him news paper, which said on it:
EQUESTRIA INVADED BY EVIL PURPLE PERSON reprint note: its not twilight stop arresting her
"Wow!" said Bob. "It say Twilight and her frends are fighting Thanos because he want to half the world. Dang, but how can he even have a knife big enough for that? Oh well." and he keep relaxing.
~ MEANWHILE ~
"Okay here the plan," said Mysterious Masked Figure. "Thanos took over Cantylot castel, and so he used the Infinite Stones to brainwash the gards, but because he does stuff Half all the time, he only brainwashed half of the guards, so now theyre distracted because theyre fighting with the NOT brainedwashed guards. So we shold be able to get in easy."
"That makes sense," said Ted Hanos.
"We can sneek in through the hole that jakkid166 and Dick America made in the window last year," said Twilight as she unlock her handcuffs.
"But Detective jakkid166 isnt here anymore," said Rarty. "Dis would be so much easier if he was here! HE would beat Thanos in like 6 chapters."
"Well," said Mysterious Masked Figure "You are in luck cause I hapen to have GREAT detective skills for some reason. And I can use them to detectively deducify where Thanos is located! I think he is in Canterlot Castle."
"Wow you are so smart," said Twilight. "Lets prepare for our battel then! We must Train."
"That is right," said Mysterious Masked Figure. "We mus have a training montage, set to Diamond Dogs by David Bowii."
Soeveryone got in Twilights base ment to train on her exerside equipment. Twilight was sifting weights, Fluttshy was riding her exercise bike on the treadmill, Applajack was exercising her eyes by watching Breaking Bad, Rainbow Dash was Rainbow Sprinting around the room to exercise her wings, Rarity was doin nothing cause shes an atheist and didnt believe in exercise, and Pinkie Pie was doin taxes to exercise her patience.
Ted Hanos was exercising in a way I cant write here caus the story is only rated T
And the Mysterious Masked Man was exercise his detectiv skills by forging evidence that Johnny Ling works for thanos. (its okay if you forge evidence for something if it is true)
But then Flut's bike acidentaly came off the tread Mill and it crashed through the wall and she couldent stop riding into the distance! "AAAAGH DAMMIT HELP" said her
"Oh shoot shit!" said Twilight "Fluttershy is on a road to nowhere! We gotta go rescue her" and everone ran after her trying to stop her bike from carrying her into the way ward sun.
~ LEANWHILE ~
Bob Tool lookd out his window and saw Fluttershy riding away. "Dang that sucks"
~ MEANWHILE ~
"MMMMMMMMF!" said Thamos. He was tryin to yell in angor but his mouth was full from eating half his bowl of popcorn at once. "Im so mad Im gonna do only half things to calm myself down! Like im gonna only say half the next sentence. Man I really hate when"
Just then Johnny Ling burst back into the Throne Room!
"Tom Cruise why are you here" said Thanos.
"Oops I forgot to unshapeshift" said Tom Cruise and he turned out of his Tom Cruise form back to Johnny Ling. "Anyway your honor I have good news!"
"Rate it on a scale of 1 to 10"
"I give it a strong 8 to a light 9."
"Aha, and I just halfed my scale from 10 to 5 so thats a 9 out of 5 which is realy good. So whats the news"
"Twilight and the Ted Hanos gang are bein distracted by a run away Exercise bike! This is our parfect opportunity to return Equestria to its rightful owner."
"But I dont wanna give it back"
"No I mean you."
"Aw YEAH!" and thanos Fist Pumped with his Infistiny Gauntlet. "Sweet! How do we take over Equestria?"
"Uhhhh" said Johnny. "I dont know. Do you have ideas?"
"No," said Thanos. "I thought I alredy took it over when I bought it from Celestia"
"Oh yeah good point" said Johnny. "What do we do now then"
"Wait" said Thanos and he looked in his authors notes. "Wait we did already take it over, im supposed to be halfing the Equestria population now! With the elemets of harmony! We gotta go find those."
"Oh yeah doog point," said Johnny. "I actualy know where those are cause I was shapeshifted as Appeljack earlier which means I hav all her memories because thats how that works."
"Sweet," said Thanos. "And that also mean you know the pasword to her paypal account so you can tak eher money!"
"Yes we can do that later," said Johnny "But frist we must go to the location of the elements! You will never guess wher they are keeping the elements of harmornarma. Its very secretive"
"Where is they?"
"In the hall of the elements of harmony."
"Oh that place! Wow I never wouldve thought of that! Sweet lets go" said Thanos and he got on his bicycle to get there faster but he halfed it so it was just a unicycle now.
"Olrighty," said Twilight as she carry Fluttershy on her back cause she was pass out from exercise exhaustionation. "Now that we have obtained everypony and also Mysterious Masked Figure we can change Thanos's Myspace status to "defeated". We jus need to find where Thanos is."
"Using my dective skills," sayed the Mysterious Masked Figure, "I can dedeuce that the Thanos is in Canterlot. I know this because I know this"
"But how are we gonna know where Canter Lot is?" said Appeljack. "We gotta find it. How will we do that?"
"Hmm" said Twi Light and she pull out her iPhone 12 Pro Max S Mini SE Lite Pro Note. "Dont worry I wil look it up on my maps."
~ VEANWHILE ~
Thanos was drivin in his 2007 Toyota Prius (which he halved so it has no roof so its a convirtible) and he pull up into the parking lot in front of the hall of the elements. He parked in a handicap space because hes evil and dont care about the rulessss!
Thanos walk up to the front door and he knock on it. "Hello let me in!"
"Whats the password" said the door.
"Uhhhhh" said Thanos. "Password"
"DAMMIT HE GUESSED IT" said the door and it opened.
Thanos thanosed into the room while Johnny Ling followd him, because Johnny Ling is also there. (He was the Prius)
"Woo Thanos you opened a door! Youre the best and so cool" said Johnny and he changelinged into a number 1 (because THanos is number one.)
Thermos walked up to the door that hadded the elemets behind them and he knocked. "Knock" (Its usually two knock but he did half knock)
"Whos there"
"Thanos"
"Thanos who"
"Orange you glad I didnt say banana?"
"What"
"Just OPEN THE DOOR!" said thanos and he chewed on his teeth to look intimidating.
"No," said the voice and it steppd out through the keyhole. "I am the keeper of the elements of harmonarmony. You are here to drink the Element Smoothie of Harmony?"
"Yes but also what the fuck?" said Thanos. "Why is it a smoothie"
"Thats cause Detective jakkid166 blended them into a delishosh bervage last year so he could drank it and become powerful. So they are a smoothie now"
"Okay fine so give me them! Or else I will file a complaint to you management."
"Very well," said
i dont know his name.
"BUT! If you want to obtain the elmerment of harmony, then you must GIVE UP what you LOVE!"
"HMMMM" said Johnny. "Do this mean you have to stop playing your favorite game Half Life?"
"No because I played half of it alreadey." said thanos. "I think he mean something else..." and he look at Johnny Long with tear in he eye.
"Wait you love me? Awwwww thats so cute. Wait SHIT" said Jihnny Ling who was still shaped like a little 1.
"Im sorry little one" said Thanos and he gave he final order. "Johnny Ling, shapeshift into a dead corpse!"
"Dang it fine." said Johnny and he did that, and he was now dead corpse.
"Damn son," said the Element of Guardmony. "That is hardened core. You are worthy of the element" said him. He pull out a clip board. "Okay sign this"
"Right" said Thanos and he pulled out a pen and signed his full name, Thanos Smith.
"Thank you" said the Guard of the Elements and he open the door, and thanos held out a paper cup and the element guard used the smoothie mashine to dispense it into his cup.
"Yeeeeah we DIDDED IT!" said Thanos and he sang "WEEEEEEEE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIENDSSSSSSS" but then he remembered he has no friends anymore and he shedded half of a tear, and frowned so hard he double his chin wrinkles. His chrwinkles
"I wil avenge your death, Johnny," said him.
~ AT THE SAME TIME, WHICH WAS LIKE 3:37 FM OR SOMETHING ~
"Dagnabbit!" said the Twilight Sparkle, who was lookin all over the place. "I stil canot find canderlot. has anyone else found it yet?"
"Nope not me," said Ted Hanos. "I think we is lost."
"That can't not be," said Mysterious Masked Figure. "My ace detective skills will never let us get lost! We jus must think of why we cannot find the canterlotius."
Twilight looke around some and bumped into a statue and got knock out and falled unconscious. She woke up and look at the statue and said "Wait!"
everone looked at her. "Look at this statue!" she said. "This statue is of a pony geting shot!"
"FUCK!" said Applejack. "We is in Pony Alabama!" and everyone look around and saw people was shooting guns everywhere and they all almost got shot! EVERYONE ran and dove behind a bush for cover.
"Dammet Twilight how did we get here?!" said Mysterious Masked Figure.
"OOps," said Twilight. "I used Apple Maps instead of Google Maps."
"Why wold you do that?!" said Ted Hanos.
Everyone looked at applejack. "IT WORKS FINE FOR ME" she shouted
"Ok well!" said Mysterious Masked Figure. "We ar runnin out of time! Thanos has probably already killed us by now. We gota get back to Canterlot fast!"
"But we are too far away" said Rarity and she look at her Miles Watch. "We are like 6000 miles away!"
"Hmm, its time for Quick Detective Thinking." said the masked figure who is mysterious. "HMMMMMMMMMMMM"
~ 2 HOUR LATER ~
"Aha my quick detective thinking has finish!" said him as a bullet hit him in the bulletproof mask. "Everyone go get to that statue which is really big and has the gun!"
So everyone pick up the bush and slowly crawl to the statue while none of the gun ponies who was shootin each other noticed. "Ok what we do?" said ted.
"Quick get inna da statue's gun!" and all the ponies and Ted Hanos climbed into the gun that was on the statue. Masked Figure pointed it in a direction and got in and he reach out and press the trigger, and the gun SHOT them out!
~ MEANWHILE ~
Thanos sat in the throne of the castle. He pulld out an ice cube tray and poured the elament emoothie into it so he could have element stones to put in his gauntlet. He put the ice tray in the Royal Freezer and waited.
"Finaly," said Thanos. "My goal is at hand, because the hand is what I wear tha gauntlet on." and he did a victory pose, where he put him hands on his hips and said HMPH really smug lee. HE was gonna write about him victory in his diary, but THEN...
SMASH
ALL SIX the ponies AND ted hanos AND mysterious masked figure crashed THROUGH the window and right in fronta THanos!
"FU!" said Thanos, swearing in half. "What to hell are you DOING here?!"
"We are gonna DEFEET you!" said mesterious masked figure. "AND defeat you!"
"You say that, but you only say it the way you do becaus of one reason," said thanos. "You speak english" and he closed the fridge door real dramatically, but then remember who he is and he open it and left it open half way.
"Yes" said Twilight. "And we canot lose! You are out numbered!"
"Yeah but you are IN numbered!" said Thanos.
"Shoot hes RIGHT" said Mysterious masked figure. "What does we do??"
so we all got into a big football huddle while thanos stood there and waited. "Ok guys detective plan," said Mysterious masked figure who is cool. "We may be innumbered, but we still have good chance! We are small and weak but we have Ted Hanos on our side. And also my dective skills, because thos are the most powerful thing of all."
"Yes but I sufer from low self esteem," said Ted Hanos. "So I dont think we can be able to win... I am only 99% sure, and I want to be 100%. Maybe if we add one more person I wil be 100% sure."
"Dang I am sorry Ted you are cool guy and deserv to feel better about youself," said Mysterious Masked Figure. "But anyway we do need another person to make this more fair. Or more like unfair for Thanos" and we unhuddled.
"Hey Thados," said Ted. "We ar having trouble answering the question. Can we phone a friend"
Thanos check him watch. "Fine but horry up! Two and a half men is on in an hour!"
Masked Figure of Mystery pull out his phone and dial a number. He said words into it and then put the phone holder slot in him pants (also called a Pocket). And they waited.
Thanos tap his foot. "So uh. Did you guys see the game last night"
"I dont watch sports," said masked figure. "My detective mind is too big and scolarly for simpleton things like that"
"Hey my mind is big TOO!" said Thanos and he flex his brain muscles to make it look bigger.
But LOW AND BE HOLD, the doors bust open! A Pony RAN in holding a bucket and ran on his leg hoof feets at thanos! "EAT LEAD" he shout and he THROW the bukket at thanos, which was filled with lead paint.
"Oh good idea" said Thanos. "Lead is metal so it make you bones strong and it make it easier for you to write with pencils." and he drink the paint. "Aha I can feel myself becomeing stronger every second!"
"Dammet it didnt work!" said the pony.
"Bob Tool you made it!" said mysterious masked figure. "You shoulda brought a diferent weapon though. Like a gun or something"
"Well we hav another person now!" said Ted. "We can win now!"
"YEEEEEAH" said the ponies. They lines up and there was a line of:
Mysterious Masked Figure
Ted Hanos
Twilight Sparkle
Pinke Pie
Rainbowed Dash
Rare Tea
Jackapple
Flut of Shy
(sorry i was very tired when trying to rember the names)
And twilight said: Pony Avengers, assemble it!
And we all RAN to thanos! Thanos pulld out a BIG sword and he used it to chop lemons in half at us and get it in our eyes and it stunged a lot. But ted DODGED the lemons and jumped in front of Thanos! "Thanos you ideot you cannot kill ponies! Apogolize now!"
"Okay im sorry" said Thanos.
"Dammet Thanos you apologies are always half hearted!" said Ted and Thanos attack him. Thanos swonged his sword at Thanos and Ted pulled out his own Dark Souls zwehander sword and they locked swords at each other! The swords hit each othere so much that the frictione made them catch FIRE and become FIRE swords!
Meanwhile Masked Mystery Figure naruto ran to Thanos and used DETECTIVE KARATE to chop him in the shins and punch him in tha shoulder and kick him in the nipples. He deliver a Death Blow to thanos's armpit but Thanos caught his head in his armpit and did armpit farts on his head.
"EW STOP IT" muffled mask figure but he was knock unconscious. Ted was all like "NO!" and he pulld out his scissors to cut Thanos's soul out of his body but thanos used rock and that beats scissors. Ted got knockout by the rock
Finally the six PONIES ran up to Thanos and for a second thamos said "Ok I surrender!"
"YES we won!" said rainbow.
"But before I go to prison," said Thanos "You ponies is so cute. can I boop your nose"
"Ugh fine" said Rainbow and thanos went to her but instead he FLICK her on the nose and it knock her out and she fell on twilight and twilight fell on rarity and rarity fell on Applejack and Aplejack fell on Pinkie Pie and Pinkie Pie fell on Fluttershy. Like dominoes pizza. The only one left was Bob Tool...
"Aha Tob Bool, you are weak and so I will spare you!" said Thamos. "Now I am sure my elemets are done freezing! Let me check" and he open the fridge, but they were only HALF frozen!
"Fuck," said Thanos "That must be cause I left the door half open. I better shut it to let them freeze completely" and he did that.
"Wait..." and he look at him hands. "I stil wanna murder ponies, but I finally overcome my obsesion with halfs! I cannot beleve it! I feel so ALIVE!" and then he died of lead poisoning
We all woke up and look at Thanos. "Jeez," said Mysterious mask. "Well that works"
And we CHEERED exept for Ted who was crying over his bro's dead body. "Dammit thanos, why you make us do this to you..." and he cried tears of sad.
"Because," said Thanos Ghost. "Now Equestira will die of resources being gone in like 3 mllion years! You shoulda been THANKFUL for me I woulda stop that. Besides ghosts dont have to use resources!"
"Hm good point," said Rarity. "But youre dead already so whatever"
Thanos groand and looked at Ted. "Are you still coming to my birthday party?"
"Yes," said Ted "But I will need to bring ghost cake instead."
"Good idea" said Tanos and he float away.
"We did it! YAY" said Twilight. "And we would not haven done it without the help of our friend Mysterious Masked Figure!"
"But who cold this masked figure be??" said Rainbow. "It is misterious."
"Very well," said figure of maskness and mysteriousness. "Now that we are won, I supose I can reveal myself..." and he TOOK HIS MASK OFF!
and everyone GASPED so HARD that they INHALED AIR!
Mysterious masked figure was actually... the PIZZA DELIVERY PONY!
"I knew it!" said Twi. "We got the clue because he deliver our pizza!"
"Yes," said pizza delivering figure. "I deliver pizza, but also am a detectiv in my spare time! No one expected this. Except me"
"Well," said Bob Tool "Everything work out in the end. Who wants to go eat pizza?"
"Hell yeah" said everyone at once and they left out the doors because they were not forgetting about anything.
~ MEANWHILE ~
Zombie Celestia was in the prison of the IRS when a guard come up. "Zomblestia, you hav mail! It is a complaint from one of the customers at the Hall fo the Elements." and she took the note and it was the complaint from Thanos.
DEAR Deadlestia
I am VERY dissatisfy with your service at the elements place. I had to kill my beloved minion to get tha elements of harmony. I am giving you 1 star on Yelp!
From T.S.
But since it only said from TS she didnt know it stood for Thanos Smith, and so thought it stooded for Tony Stark instead. But she also thought that was a trick and that it actually standed for Twilight Sparkle. So she rememberd to indict Twilight Sparkle on charges of murder once she gets out of prison.
