Applejack tries to teach Rainbow Dash how to cook. Naturally, disaster and awkwardness result.
Applejack discovers a dark secret about Rainbow Dash.
She can't cook.
Out of the kindness of her heart, Applejack tries to teach Rainbow Dash a few basic recipes. But what starts as a cooking lesson soon turns into a bit more than that, especially when sparks start to fly - both figuratively and literally. Through this culinary misadventure, Applejack and Dash quickly discover that the potential exists for them to become more than just friends.
But will this relationship prove successful, should they choose to pursue it? What will their friends and Applejack's family think? Will Dash to actually learn how to cook? Only time will tell...
(An AppleDash shipfic, just to clarify. Originally a one-shot, now expanding to a full story.)
Applejack heard these words from Rainbow Dash several times each week. It was a very common experience for her to be out in the orchard, checking on the trees and bucking apples, when suddenly the cyan pegasus would randomly drop in. It was usually after her shift on weather patrol, or after a flight practice session. They'd chat for a bit and swap a few jokes, before inevitably the rainbow-maned pony would ask that same old question. The answer was always yes, of course. Applejack didn't mind letting her have a few free apples, and Dash would usually give her a some bits at the end of the week to cover the rest.
Today was slightly different though. Dash had dropped in to say hi while Applejack was working in the orchard, and they'd chatted for a bit, as was normal. Dash had hovered up to the top of the nearest tree, and made her usual request. But today, a thought crossed Applejack's mind in response to Dash's inquiry. One she'd never really considered before.
"Yeah, sure," Applejack nodded. She then smirked and asked: "Though Ah gotta wonder, do you eat anything else besides apples? You take enough of 'em to live off of, almost."
Rainbow Dash had been reaching for a rather nice and shiny red apple. But upon hearing those words, she froze. "Uh... Hah! Of course I do! I eat plenty of other stuff!" she replied with an unconvincing grin. "Lots of variety! Yup!"
Applejack raised an eyebrow. Her curiosity was piqued. "Like what?"
"Uh... Oh, y'know," the blue pegasus gave a dismissive wave of her hooves, "Those energy snack bars, sandwiches from the local shops, Pinkie's cupcakes, and.... uh.... cereal.... and... and..." her voice trailed off. She then smiled sheepishly down at Applejack. "That's about it."
An awkward silence fell. Eventually, Applejack flatly asked: "Y'all can't cook, can ya?"
Dash's shoulders slumped, and she let out a deep sigh. "No... Not really, no," she groaned, shaking her head. "It's never really been something that, y'know, clicked. I never really learned how to do it growing up, and usually when I try, it blows up in my face. Sometimes literally. It's... kinda embarrassing," she frowned. "Don't say anything to anypony else, okay? Please?"
The orange mare shrugged. "Eh, ain't nothin' to be embarrassed about. If ya want some lessons, Ah can teach ya a thing or two."
Dash's eyes widened slightly. "Really? Like what?"
A large grin spread across the pegasus' face. "Oooo, pancakes! Let's go with pancakes!"
Applejack let out a chuckle. "Heh, alright, pancakes it is. Ah should be free in an hour or so, if ya wanna drop on by and get started."
"Sounds good!" Dash exclaimed. "Anyway, I'll let you get back to work. See ya then. Later, AJ!" And with that, the blue mare flew off, leaving Applejack to finish her work. But not without grabbing a pair of apples first, of course.
Applejack had finished working in the orchard a little bit earlier than expected, and had been able to wash up and start getting things in order before the pegasus' arrival. Rainbow Dash's arrival came about an hour after she'd originally left; a knock at the back door, which led into the kitchen, heralded her arrival. A few seconds after knocking, Applejack opened the door, and Rainbow Dash stepped inside.
"Thanks," Dash smiled as she stepped through the doorway. "Y'know, I really appreciate what you're-" The blue pegasus suddenly froze. Not because the kitchen was perfectly organized and prepared, with a variety of ingredients and baking appliances laid out on the table and counter tops. Instead, she froze because of what Applejack was wearing. Or rather, not wearing.
"Where... where's your hat?" the blue mare finally managed to ask.
It was true. Applejack was lacking her signature hat. Instead, she had a white chef's hat perched atop her head. The orange mare simply smiled, and factually informed her: "Ah thought it'd be smarter to wear somethin' else. This hat is more fittin' fer the situation. Plus, better safe than sorry."
Dash frowned. "Better safe than sorry? What, do you think I'm gonna light your hat on fire or something?"
Applejack grimaced. "Yeah, uh, about that... Did Ah ever tell you 'bout what happened when Applebloom tried to learn ta cook?"
Applejack stared in horror at the wall of flame pouring out of the microwave. As black smoke filled the kitchen, she could only look down at an equally horrified Applebloom and scream: "HOW DID YOU CATCH OATMEAL ON FIRE?!"
Rainbow Dash stared blankly at her best friend.
"Eeeeeyup," Applejack nodded. "An' that is why Ah ain't wearin' mah hat fer this. It ain't that Ah don't trust ya. Ah just think it's better ta be safe than sorry."
"Oatmeal... she caught oatmeal on fire?" the blue mare asked, dumbfounded by such a concept.
"And we're makin' pancakes, remember?" Applejack poked her shoulder playfully. "A bit harder than oatmeal."
Dash swallowed nervously. "Hey, um, maybe this isn't such a good idea. I mean, you don't have to worry about all this. I'm fine with apples and junk food. I need all the extra calories and stuff anyway, and-"
"Oh hush up," Applejack snarked. "Ya got nothin' to worry about. It's impossible to light a pancake on fire. Ya mix up batter, pour it in a skillet, and flip it a couple of times. Worst case scenario, it comes out a bit brown and burnt."
The rainbow-maned pegasus shifted uncomfortable. "If you say so..."
"Ah do say so," Applejack replied crisply. Trotting over to the kitchen table, she poked a hoof at the open pages of a recipe look. "Now, lookie here..."
Dash hopped up and hovered over to the table, idly flapping her wings to stay airborne. "What's this?" she asked, before leaning in to look at the book. "Oh, pancake recipe? Hmmm. Sugar... Flour... Baking soda... Wait, what?" she suddenly pulled back, and looked at Applejack in confusion. "You put soft drinks in your pancakes?"
Applejack raised a hoof to her forehead, and sighed. "Baking soda ain't a drink, it's a powder. Anyhoo, you wanna add something extra to the pancakes?" she asked. "Chocolate chips? Blueberries? Apple?"
Rainbow Dash chuckled. "I've never heard of apple pancakes. But I'm totally not surprised that you'd suggest it."
The blonde-haired pony smirked smugly. "Ah will take that as a compliment. But yeah, it's the same concept as apple-cinnamon muffins. Dice some apples, a pinch of cinnamon, there ya go."
"Huh," Dash tilted her head to the side. "Yeah sure, let's give it a shot."
"Mighty fine choice," Applejack grinned. "Now, time ta measure out the ingredients..."
It hadn't taken long to get all the ingredients sorted out, measured, and mixed together. Flours, eggs, sugar, baking soda, milk, and other various things were all poured into a large bowl, which Applejack cheerfully set about stirring as she explained everything to Rainbow Dash. "Now, ya can't mix it up too much, cuz if the batter gets too thin it can mess up the pancakes' cookin' process."
"Uh huh, gotcha," Dash happily nodded along, making mental notes.
"Make sure yer skillet is heated up and greased, but not too hot. If it ain't greased, yer pancakes will stick. And if it's too hot, they'll get too brown and burnt," Applejack explained, gesturing a hoof at the large skillet warming up on the stove.
"So when do you add the apples?" Dash asked, arching an eyebrow.
"Ah, tha's the tricky bit," Applejack replied. She paused to put the stirring whisk down, before trotting over to a different spot on the countertop. A yellow apple was sitting on a cutting board, with a large knife beside it. "This here's a bakin' apple. We're gonna dice this sucker up, but we're not gonna toss it in with the mix just yet. All the bits would clump and stick together at the bottom, more than likely. Instead, once we pour some batter in the skillet fer the pancake, we'll add a dash of apple and a pinch of cinnamon, and-"
Rainbow Dash suddenly started to giggle.
Applejack looked around in confusion. "What's so funny?"
"Hee, hee, nothing, nothing," Dash shook her head, trying to stop laughing. "Uh, just go on..."
The orange earth pony narrowed her eyes. "Oh no. Yer gonna tell me what's so funny."
Dash had stopped laughing by now, and she waved a hoof at Applejack, gesturing for her to continue. "No, no, don't worry about it."
Applejack fixed her with a level stare. She did not look amused. "What's so funny?" she repeated her inquiry.
The blue pegasus let out a sigh. "Alright, fiiiiine. I just thought it was funny when you said 'a dash of apple' a second ago."
The blonde mare's expression became one of bewilderment. "Ah don't get it."
Dash let out another sigh, this one of exasperation. "A dash of apple. Dash. Apple. Rainbow Dash, Applejack. 'A dash of apple' could be an innuendo implying us together," she explained. "I just thought it was funny."
"The idea of us together is funny?" Applejack asked, before shrugging. "Ah don't see why, we're together right now ain't we?"
The rainbow-maned pony began to giggle. "No, no," she shook her head, grinning in amusement, "Not like that. Like, romantically or something."
Applejack blinked. "Oh." She then recoiled slightly, her eyes widening in realization. "Oh!"
Dash couldn't help but laugh at her friend's shock. "Hah! Wow, took you long enough!" she playfully commented between laughs.
The earth pony glared in annoyance. "Well a'scuse me! Ah still don't see wha's so funny 'bout it!" she growled.
Rainbow Dash finally managed to stop laughing. "I dunno, I just thought it was funny," she shrugged. "But hey, I also thought it was funny when ponies actually thought we were a thing."
For a moment, there was only silence. Then Applejack took a step back in wide-eyed horror. "What?!"
Dash waved a wing dismissively. "Yeah, some ponies thought we were dating. Especially after all that fuss with the Running of the Leaves. Some folks thought our rivalry was a love-hate relationship or something. Rarity actually asked me about it..." she casually explained.
"Well, it's not like the actually thought it," Dash shrugged. She was clearly much more cool and aloof about this than Applejack was. "She was just asking me about it, just to clarify things. She'd heard some rumors, and she didn't want to repeat anything that wasn't true. So she asked me if there was anything between you and me, and if I actually had any interest in mares."
Applejack's jaw dropped. "She actually asked you that?!"
Dash shrugged again. "Yeah, it was no big deal. She wasn't rude about it or anything. She was actually very polite and respectful. Plus, I didn't mind telling her, since I trust her and stuff. Like I said, she just wanted clarification."
The orange mare shook her head. "But... that just seems so... blunt. An' personal. Like somethin' ya just don't share with folks."
"Eh, it's Rarity. Like I said, I trust her and whatnot. Plus, she's actually pretty chill about personal stuff. I mean, have you ever heard some of the stuff ponies in high society gossip about?" Dash asked with a crooked smirk. "It was really no big deal for either of us."
"You... she... Ah..." Applejack muttered, trying to comprehend.
"Just don't worry about it," Dash advised her. "I told Rarity the truth, and she made sure all those rumors died out. Everything's cool."
Applejack stared for a moment. She then sighed, and turned back to the apple on the cutting board. "Er, let's just get on back to cookin'..."
"Works for me," Dash smiled. She then added: "Sorry for the awkwardness."
Applejack smiled back. "No worries. Glad to know Rarity helped set them other ponies straight, at least..."
Things went back to normal after that. Applejack diced the apple, and guided Rainbow Dash through the process of pouring the batter in the skillet, letting the pancake set, and then flipping it so it could cook on the other side. She made several successful pancakes, and let Dash take a stab at it. Her first few came out kind of burnt or undercooked, but eventually she started to get the hang of it.
As Applejack was pouring batter into the skillet to make another pancake, her curiosity finally got the better of her. "Alright," she sighed. "Ah gotta ask..."
"Gotta ask what?" Dash replied.
Applejack glanced off the side. "About, uh... That thing Rarity asked ya about."
Dash immediately burst in a fit of laughter. "Oho, somebody's curious, huh?"
"No!" Applejack protested. "Ah mean, yes! Wait, no! Uh... Consarnit!" she snapped. She then let out an annoyed sigh, and did her best to put on a neutral expression. "Look, ya said ya didn't mind when Rarity asked, so Ah figured it wouldn't be a big deal if Ah asked. Ah'm just curious. No more, no less," she calmly explained.
"Uh huh," the pegasus grinned playfully. "Curious. Right."
"Ah ain't got no alterior motives, dedgummit!" the orange mare snarled.
"I think it's 'ulterior,' actually," Dash corrected her with a knowing smirk.
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she grumbled. She was clearly annoyed now.
"Hey, it's cool," Dash replied with a gentle hoof wave, trying to pacify her irate friend. "I'm just playing around. Anyway, to answer your question... Well, it's pretty simple, but hard to explain."
Applejack nodded, gesturing for her to continue. "Go on, Ah'm listenin' to ya."
"Well," the pegasus tilted her head from side to side, her expression thoughtful and pensive. "It's like... I don't really care what gender a pony is. I think pony's should be able to like each other regardless of gender. Y'know, for who they are, not what they are. So if a mare likes a mare or a stallion likes a stallion, big deal. As long as they're happy, who cares? Does... that make sense?" Dash asked, a slight look of worry on her face.
The orange earth pony looked thoughtful for a moment. Finally, she smiled softly and nodded. "Yeah, that makes perfect sense. It sounds like a pretty good outlook, actually. And that's the way you see it, huh? Likin' a pony as a pony, regardless of gender?"
Dash smiled nervously. "Yeah, pretty much."
"Whatcha so nervous for?" Applejack smirked. "Afraid Ah'm gonna freak out or somethin'?"
"Well, yeah, kinda," the blue pony rolled her eyes sarcastically. "I mean, a lot of ponies aren't exactly comfortable finding out their friend's barn door swings both ways. They're all like 'Oh my gosh my friend is gonna hit on me and try to seduce me and ewww' and stuff like that," she smirked playfully, having raised her voice an octave or three to parody an immature pony freaking out.
"Nah, no worries here," Applejack shook her head. "Ah'm pretty laid back 'bout stuff like that. Besides, not like y'all would wanna hit on an' seduce me, anyhoo," she scoffed.
Applejack immediately blushed. "No Ah ain't!" she sputtered.
The pegasus' smirk turned into a wicked grin. "And now somebody sounds defensive!"
"Ah ain't defensive!" the earth pony snapped indignantly.
"You certainly sound like it," Dash quipped.
Applejack rose up to stand on her hind legs, placing her forehooves on her hips in a defiant gesture. "Y'all are just tryin' to get me all flustered!" she growled.
Rainbow Dash echoed her friends' movements, and stood up on her own hind legs. However, the rugged earth pony possessed a more powerful build than her, and was thus slightly taller. Dash had to hop up and hover a few inches off the ground in order to stay at eye level with her. "You wouldn't be flustered if you didn't have a reason to be," she grinned.
"Ah ain't flustered and ah ain't being defensive," Applejack snapped.
"Are too!" Dash retorted, leaning in closer.
"Are not!" the orange mare replied firmly, also leaning forward slightly.
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
"Are too!"
"Are not!"
By now, the two ponies' faces were barely inches apart. They were close enough to feel each others' warm breath against their muzzles. In fact, they were close enough to pick up the others' scent - Applejack could faintly smell rainwater, while Dash could barely detect the aroma of apples. The glared intently into each others' eyes, unwilling - or unable - to look away. Tension hung heavily in the air, thick enough to be cut with a knife. Neither pony dared to move, or even flinch a muscle. Finally, just as the situation reached its boiling point, Rainbow Dash opened her mouth and flatly asked: "Hey AJ, you smell something burning?"
Apparently, if you leave a pancake unattended in the skillet for several minutes, it will blacken to a crisp. And then it will burst into flames. Very large and very hot flames.
Thankfully, the inferno had been easy to contain and put out. The only casualties were the pancakes, the skillet, a fire extinguisher, and Applejack's chef hat.
"See? Ah told ya," Applejack flippantly observed, plucking the burnt cap off of her head and tossing it over her shoulder. "Better safe than sorry..." She seemed pretty laid-back, considering her stove was covered in soot and fire extinguisher foam.
Dash didn't comment. She was too busy sitting on the floor near the stove, surveying the damage. She bore a frown on her face, and her ears were laid back. "Yeah, uh... I'm reeeeeeeally sorry about this. Like, really really sorry," she said.
Applejack gave a dismissive hoof wave. "Aw shucks, ain't nothin' but a thang. I'll get Big Macintosh ta clean it up later. Y'all ain't gotta worry 'bout it."
"I know, but it's still my fault," Dash grumbled. "If I hadn't distracted you, the pancake wouldn't have... exploded."
"Eh, no biggie," the earth pony shrugged. "Ah'm okay. Yer okay. And mah hat is okay. Speakin' o' which..." Applejack proceeded to trot over to a cabinet near the refrigerator, open it up, and remove her hat. Placing the cowboy hat back atop her head, she turned back to Dash and flashed a grin. "There we go, much better."
"Yeah, you do look better in that hat," Dash observed casually with a sideways glance.
Applejack was slightly caught off guard by that. "Wait, was tha' a compliment?"
The cyan pegasus' frown was replaced by a playful smile. "Well, you were disappointed about me not hitting on you, so I-"
"Galdurnit, we are not havin' this conversation again!" Applejack yelled in frustration. She gave a strong stomp of her hooves for emphasis. However, there was a faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth, despite her apparent irritation. It seemed she found some amusement in the situation, as annoying as it was.
Dash flashed a lopsided grin. "Why? Because you know we'll end up face-to-face again, and you won't be able to resist kissing me this time?"
Applejack's face quickly went from orange to vibrant crimson. "You... T-that... What..." she stammered, trying to form a cohesive and coherent reply.
"Oh don't deny it!" the cyan mare proclaimed. She hopped into the air and took flight, gliding over towards Applejack and pausing to hover just in front of her. "I could totally see it in your eyes!"
Applejack's blush began to subside, and she was now just staring levelly at Dash, looking rather unamused. "Mah eyes, huh?" she asked flatly.
"Totally! The eyes are the window to the soul and all that jazz, after all," Dash observed. She then grinned, and continued poking fun at her friend. "But yeah, I could see it all! That internal struggle, trying to keep your self control, fighting to hold back your passion," she playfully said, leaning her face in close to Applejack's.
"Passion, huh?" Applejack deadpanned.
"Eeyup," the pegasus replied with a smug grin. "And you-"
Without warning, Applejack suddenly reached up and grabbed Rainbow Dash's face with her hooves. She then pulled the surprised pegasus in closer, and before she could have a chance to react, kissed her. Not a peck or a gentle little cutesy kiss, but a full-on passionate lip-lock. Dash's eyes went wide in shock, and her wings immediately locked up in mid-flight. Unable to stay airborne, the blue pony immediately dropped unceremoniously to the floor. With a loud thud, she landed in a jumbled heap, eyes still wide in shocked surprise.
"Heh, that shut ya up," Applejack observed with a wicked smile. "Y'all alright, though?" she asked, her tone holding more concern than her expression would have implied. "Didn't think ya'd drop like that."
"Oh yeah! Never better!" Dash replied over-enthusiastically. Her eyes seemed distant. She was clearly in a daze from either the kiss, the impact with the floor, or both.
The orange mare shook her head, but continued to smile. "Sorry, but if ya poke at a rattlesnake enough, it'll eventually bite."
Rainbow Dash rolled over on her back, and looked up at Applejack with what could only be described as a goofy grin. "If that's the case, I gotta mess with rattlesnakes more often. They're great kissers..."
Applejack giggled, and lowered her head so that she was eye to eye with her friend, their faces upside-down from each other. "So what, yer plan was ta just keep messin' with me 'til Ah eventually snapped an' kissed ya or somethin'?" she curiously inquired.
Dash grinned roguishly. "Well after you didn't freak out about me liking mares and stuff, I thought I'd do a little playful flirting. Just to mess around a bit, all in good fun. I figured you'd be cool with it. I mean, I wasn't actually trying to get you to kiss me or anything. I wasn't even sure you were into that sort of thing. But, uh, I guess I was wrong. Not that I'm complaining, heh heh..."
Applejack rolled her eyes, but still maintained her smile. "So y'all ruined mah skillet, dirtied up mah kitchen, and messed with mah head fer no good reason. Rainbow Dash, y'all had better have some way of makin' this up to me."
"Oh, well..." Dash purred, "I think I can come up with a few ways, if you're interested. Like... maybe a date?"
The earth pony smirked coyly, and a faint blush rose to her cheeks. "Ya know... Ah think Ah might actually be interested in takin' ya up on that offer. No harm in givin' it a shot, right?"
Dash grinned, excitement sparkling in her eyes. "Awesome! But, um, in the meantime, I've got other ideas for ways to apologize. Like this." She then proceeded to lift her head up off the floor, raising her lips to meet Applejack's, giving her a gentle kiss. The two ponies closed their eyes, losing themselves in the small, tender moment.
And that's exactly when Big Mac opened the backdoor and casually walked into kitchen. "Afternoon," he idly greeted them, not realizing what was happening in front of him until he'd taken several steps into the room.
Time seemed to freeze for every pony in the room. All three equines went wide-eyed in surprise and horror. Big Mac's gaze darted back and forth between his sister, Rainbow Dash, and the scorched stove. Dash and Applejack, their lips still locked, alternated between looking at Big Mac and each other.
Finally, Big Mac shook his head, simply stating: "Nope. Nope, nope, nope." He then spun about, and briskly strode right back through the door. He didn't even bother to close it behind him; he just trotted away as quickly as his powerful legs could carry him.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash stared at the backdoor for several seconds after the red stallion had fled. They then turned their gazes back upon each other, and finally pulled away from each other, breaking the awkward kiss. "Well, that was awkward..." Dash muttered.
"Ah don't think I'm gonna be able to look him in the eyes for weeks..." Applejack groaned.
Dash clambered up off the floor, and staggered back onto her hooves. "Yeah, uh, I should probably leave before he gets back. Y'know, to avoid further awkwardness. Sorry about all this..."
The blonde mare scoffed. "Feh. Nothin' to apologize for. But yeah, it's prob'ly is best if y'all head on out. Yer welcome back any time, of course, though... it may be best if ya avoid Big Mac for awhile, 'til the awkwardness dies on down."
"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Anyway, I guess I'll head on out. See ya later," Dash said with a small smile, before turning to head for the door.
Applejack took a step after her. "Hey wait, one more thing."
The pegasus paused near the backdoor, and looked back over her shoulder curiously. "Hm?"
The orange pony smiled. "Y'all wanna try again tomorrow?"
"What, the cooking lessons that potentially lead to disaster, or the awkward flirting that eventually leads to making out?" Dash asked with a sarcastic smirk.
Applejack sighed. She knew what she had to do. As awkward and as uncomfortable as it was, she knew she had to talk to Big Mac about what had happened.
After Dash had left, the earth pony had trotted out into the orchard to look for her big brother. It hadn’t taken long to locate him. After all, it was kind of hard to miss the hulking red stallion. It seemed he was just casually trotting around the orchard, a pensive look on his face as he passed between the rows of apple trees. He seemed to fail to notice Applejack trotting up behind him. That, or he was ignoring her.
With a quiet sigh, Applejack came to a halt, and called out to her brother. “Ah’m sorry.”
Big Mac froze mid-step. The red pony calmly turned around to look back at his sister, the expression on his face neutral. He studied her for a moment, before smiling softly. “Nothin’ to apologize for,” he replied, his deep voice carrying a consoling tone to it.
Applejack hadn’t expected that. She’d expected there to be more awkward stammering or angry yelling, not a calm, placid response. “Wait, what?” she asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. “Yer… Yer not gonna flip out? Be all awkward? Yell at me or nothin’ like that?”
Big Macintosh smiled. It was not a small nervous smile, like Applejack would have expected, but rather a warm and affectionate smile. “Nope,” he flatly replied. “No real reason to.”
“But… you… Ah…” Applejack muttered. “Ah mean, ya ran out of there like-“
The red stallion let out a deep, hearty chuckle. “Hah! Ah ran out ‘cuz it was awkward!” he said with a grin. “Ya think Ah would have stuck around if it was a stallion instead? Naw, Ah woulda run out just as fast.”
Applejack smiled nervously. “Heh, yeah, guess that makes sense. So…” her gaze drifted towards the ground. She was still worried about how he felt about her, and her… interests. “So… are you… bothered? About me-“
Big Mac didn’t even let her finish. “Nope,” he stated firmly with a shake of his head. “Ah ain’t bothered one bit. Who you wanna court is your business, and none of mah concern. Some ponies may take offense, but Ah sure as fire ain’t one ‘em. Ah’m just happy you could find somepony who makes ya happy.”
Applejack smiled softly. “Thanks, Big Mac. Yer an awesome brother. Y’know that, right?”
Big Mac smirked. “Eeyup.”
The orange mare mirrored his smirk. “Yer gonna mess with me ‘bout this forever, ain’t ya?”
“Eeyup.”
“Figures,” Applejack sighed with a roll of her eyes. “Guess Ah deserve it, though, after embarrassin’ ya like that…” Her expression then turned grave. “Y’all ain’t gonna say nothin’ to Granny Smith or Apple Bloom, are you?” she asked warily.
The crimson stallion shook his head. “Nope!”
“Good,” Applejack said with a small sigh of relief. “Ah would hate to know how they’d react if she found out Ah was a fillyfooler. Though, Ah dunno if Ah’m technically a fillyfooler, since Ah like stallions too. Think Ah prefer them actually, but Dash…” she muttered thoughtfully. “Well, she’s a different story.”
Big Mac rolled his eyes. “Too much information, Sis.”
The orange mare shrugged. “Just bein’ honest. Anyhoo, we should probably get back to the farm, and get the kitchen cleaned up before Granny Smith gets back from town.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed with a nod. And with that, the two siblings quickly trotted back through the orchard, heading back home.
Unbeknownst to them, however, they had not been alone. By sheer luck, or lack thereof, a third pony had been present. A small yellow filly, who was sitting up in a nearby apple tree looking at caterpillars, in hopes of getting her Etymology Cutie Mark. She hadn’t heard the whole conversation since she was focused on attempting to study the insect larvae, but she’d heard a few specific words. Words that had confused her.
The little filly had continued to study the caterpillars for a little while after Applejack and Big Mac had left. She eventually grew bored and discouraged, and decided to give up for today. Her thoughts returned to the conversation she’d overheard earlier, and the words that had confused her. One word in particular.
“What’s a fillyfooler?” Apple Bloom asked aloud. She then began to climb down the tree, pondering aloud as she descended the branches. “Applejack and Big Mac said somethin’ about cleaning up, so Ah better not bother them. But Ah bet Granny Smith will know. Yeah, Ah’ll go ask her…”
Rainbow Dash was happy. Very happy indeed. This was possibly one of the happiest days of her life. And she made this happiness loud and clear by flying as fast as her wings could carry her, a massive grin on her face as she flew over Ponyville on her way back home. “Yes yes yes!” she exclaimed excitedly to herself. “This is so awesome! I can’t believe-“
“Can’t believe what?” a cheerful voice suddenly inquired from right above her.
“Pinkie?!” Dash exclaimed in shocked confusion, immediately recognizing the familiar voice. She immediately looked up at the speaker, and her eyes went wide upon seeing her pink friend flying above her with some sort of bizarre contraption. It looked like a pair of metal wings made of bronze feathers, powered by gears and springs and other mechanisms. “What… what in Celestia’s name is that?!” the pegasus stammered.
“Oh, these? Clockwork wings,” Pinkie cheerfully replied. “Not to be confused with Steampunk.”
Dash just stared, incredulous. She began to slow her speed down, but continued to fly along at a brisk pace. Pinkie didn’t seem to be having any trouble keeping up. “Okay then. Mad pony science aside, what are you doing up here?”
“Oh, I saw you flying, and I thought I’d say hi,” the pink mare replied in her typically bubbly fashion. “You seem like you’re in a good mood! A super good mood! What’s up?”
Dash blushed slightly. “Oh, uh, nothing really. I’m just, y’know, having a good day.”
Pinkie’s smile faded, and she raised an eyebrow. “Are you suuuuure? Because I’m fairly certain there’s more to it than that. I can sense it. This is more than just a good day, isn’t it?”
Dash really hated Pinkie’s weird sixth senses and reality breaking abilities sometimes. “Nah, I’m pretty sure I’m just having a plain old good day,” she shrugged casually.
Pinkie immediately pulled a small deerstalker cap and a bubble pipe from behind her back. She put on the hat, stuck the pipe in her mouth, and narrowed her eyes at Dash. “No, I believe there is more this than meets the eye, my dear Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie observed with a heavy British accent.
“And I believe you’re wrong,” Dash replied with an aloof shrug. She was trying her best to act calm and natural, and avoid suspicion. But this was making her nervous. Letting Pinkie know the truth behind her good mood seemed like kind of a bad idea. She was sure Pinkie would be cool with her and AJ being together, but still, explaining it would be all sorts of awkward. Did Pinkie even know how dating and stuff worked? And plus, AJ probably didn’t want anypony else knowing about what had happened. So, no matter what, Pinkie couldn’t know.
“I believe that you believe wrong!” Pinkie replied with a cheeky grin. She blew a few bubbles out of the pipe, before playfully asking: “So, you and Applejack, huh? How’d that turn out?”
And in that moment, Dash felt part of her soul die.
Granny Smith had spent most of the day out and about Ponyville. She’d spent much of the time running the family’s apple stall, and once the day’s supply had sold out, she’d gone around visiting friends. Late in the afternoon, she returned back to Sweet Apple Acres, looking forward to a relaxing evening and a glass of sweet tea.
Upon returning to the farmstead, she immediately headed for the kitchen. Upon opening the door, she was greeted the sight of Applejack and Big Macintosh cleaning up a rather wrecked kitchen. The stovetop was scorched, and the counters and floor were covered in ash and fire extinguisher foam. Both siblings turned to look back at her with wide-eyes and cleaning items in their mouths.
Applejack immediately spat out a small dustpan, and smiled sheepishly. “Oh, hey there Granny! How was yer day?”
“Oh, fine,” Granny Smith replied with a cheerful smile. She didn’t acknowledge the culinary carnage before her old eyes. “Dropped by Sugarcube Corner to talk to the Cakes. Saw yer friend Pinkie, too. She was buildin’ some sort of fancy flyin’ machine. She’s so random…”
Big Mac spat out a broom, and nodded in agreement. “Eeyup.”
Granny Smith slowly moved over to the refrigerator. As she opened it up and began to root around in it, she idly asked: “So who made the mess?”
“Me,” Applejack sighed. “Ah was tryin’ to show Rainbow Dash how to make pancakes, and things got… kinda out of hoof.”
“Eeyup,” Big Mac said with a smirk. Applejack looked back and glared fiercely at him. The smirk remained on his face.
“Oh, well, as long as nopony got hurt, it ain’t a problem…” the feeble old mare replied, her head buried in the fridge. “Oh durn, we’re out of tea.” Applejack and Big Mac exchanged glances. Granny Smith proceeded to retreat from within the appliance, and shut the refrigerator door. “Well, y’all have fun cleanin’ up. I’m gonna go sit down fer a spell. Couldja make some tea when yer done?”
“Sure, no problem,” Applejack smiled.
“Thank you, Applejack. Yer such a good grandfilly…” the old mare observed lovingly. She then shuffled on back into the living room, leaving AJ and Big Mac to their cleaning duties.
About thirty seconds later, Apple Bloom barged into the kitchen through the back door. “Hey, y’all seen Granny Smith?” she asked excitedly. “Ah got a question for her!” Applejack and Big Mac both nodded towards the living room, their mouths once again filled with cleaning items. “Thanks!”
The young little filly bounded through the kitchen and into the farmhouse’s den, shutting the door behind her. Granny Smith was idly reclining in her rocking chair, simply relaxing with her eyes half-open, slowly rocking back and forth. However, her eyes widened when she noticed Apple Bloom, and a smile formed on her old face. “Why hello thar! How was yer day, sweetie?” she asked kindly.
“Pretty good,” Apple Bloom replied with a grin. “No luck on my Etymology Cutie Mark, though. Anyhoo, Ah got a question for ya, Granny.”
“Shoot.”
Apple Bloom, with all the innocence of a naïve and stupid child, cheerfully asked: “What’s a fillyfooler?”
Granny Smith immediately stopped rocking, and her smile disappeared. “Now where’d you hear such a term?” she asked disapprovingly.
Apple Bloom obliviously smiled. “Oh, Ah heard Applejack and Big Mac say it earlier, talkin’ ‘bout Sis bein’ one. Ah thought Ah’d ask you ‘bout it since they’re busy. So wassit mean?”
Granny Smith smiled lovingly down at her grandchild. “Apple Bloom, why don’t you go play with yer friends. We can talk about this some other time.” Her tone was reserved, polite, but also somewhat stern. It was the tone she used when Apple Bloom did not need to argue or ask questions, but just do as she was told.
Apple Bloom sighed, slightly disappointed by the lack of answers. “Aw, alright. Ah’ll go see what Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo are up to.”
“Try to be back before dark,” Granny Smith instructed her, giving a little wave.
“Alrighty. Bye Granny!” the filly returned the wave, before racing out the front door.
“Bye!” the old mare called out after Apple Bloom. Once she was gone, she turned to look across the room, and glared at the door to the kitchen. “Applejack!” she barked authoritatively. “Get in here. NOW.”
“Welllllll?” Pinkie asked, leaning in so that she was eye-to-eye with Rainbow Dash, their faces barely inches apart. “Spill!”
“H-h-how?!” the rainbow-maned pegasus stammered, utterly horrified. “How could you know-“
Pinkie giggled. “Silly Rainbow Dash! All the clues are so obvious!” Still clad in Sherlock Holmes regalia and speaking with a British accent, she explained. “You’re clearly in a very very good mood. Like, one of the best moods you’ve ever been in. Your body language, posture, facial expressions, eyes movements, and other small signifiers show that you’re very happy, relaxed, and excited. You’re flying in the opposite direction of Sweet Apple Acres at a slight incline, indicating you just left there. You have a faint scent of apples about you, indicating you were in rather close proximity with Applejack. Or maybe you just ate a lot of apples – one or the other. Annnnnnnnnd…. you wouldn’t have reacted like that if it wasn’t true!” she proclaimed with a massive grin.
Rainbow Dash stared, her jaw hanging agape. Pinkie had simply made an educated guess, and Dash had proved her right by freaking out. It was her own fault Pinkie knew. The pegasus raised her hooves to her eyes, and shook her head. “Oh I can’t believe I just did that…” she muttered, lowering her head in frustration and shame. “Stupid stupid stupid. Applejack is gonna kill me…”
Out of all the ponies in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie was typically the least serious. However, on rare occasions, she was smart enough to realize that silliness and playfulness were not the appropriate response to certain situations, and some things needed to be approached in a very serious manner. And Pinkie knew that this was one of those times were she needed to stop being silly for a moment. Her grin faded, and she paused to toss the hat and pipe aside. “Aw, don’t be upset, Dashie,” she said softly, dropping the funny accent and gently raising a hoof to rest on the hovering pegasus’ shoulder. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of or anything. I’m not judging you, and I never will. The same goes for Applejack! I promise. As long as you and AJ are happy, that’s all that matters,” she said comfortingly. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to know. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I’m sorry…”
Rainbow Dash lowered her hooves and looked up at the pink pony. After a moment, she gave a small smile. “Thanks, Pinkie. Y’know, you’re a really good friend. But, it’s like… I don’t care if you know I like mares and stuff. I really don’t care what most ponies think about that. I’m cool like that. But… Well, I don’t think Applejack wants anypony else to know. It’s probably something she’s not comfortable sharing. Or at least, it’d be safer to assume that until she says otherwise.”
“Ah, I getcha…” Pinkie nodded thoughtfully. “Well, your secret – or rather AJ’s secret – is safe with me. I’ll even Pinkie Promise if you want.”
Dash’s smile grew into a smirk as she watched her friend go through the crazy ritual of the Pinkie Promise. “Thanks, Pinkie. I really appreciate it.”
Pinkie suddenly flew a circle around Dash with her mechanical wings, before flashing another large grin. “Hey, you still haven’t answered my question! How’d it go?”
The blue pegasus grinned from ear to ear. “Well, all we really did was kiss, and then I asked her on a date. She said yes, and-“
Pinkie gasped. “A date?! That’s totally awesome! Where are you going to go?”
Dash opened her mouth to reply, but then closed it and frowned. “Uh, I don’t know, actually. I haven’t thought that far yet.”
“Oooo! Oo oo oo! What if I put something together for you?” the pink mare asked excitedly.
The cyan pegasus shook her head and smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think a party would be a good idea, and Sugarcube Corner isn’t the most romantic locale.”
“True…” Pinkie mused. She began to rub her chin thoughtfully, staring off into space. Her eyes held a look of fierce determination as she pondered. “What if… Nah, AJ doesn’t like the tuba. Hmm… Oh, oh, what if- Wait, no, you hate mayonnaise,” she muttered. Dash scowled in agreement. Pinkie then flashed a grin, and triumphantly declared: “Eureka! I got it!”
“Oh? Whatcha got?” Dash replied, raising an eyebrow.
Pinkie grinned mischievously, and motioned for her to lean in and listen.
Applejack slowly entered the living room. Her expression was neutral, her face completely blank. “Yes, Granny?” she calmly asked, her voice deadpan and devoid of emotion. She had a very bad feeling about this. A very very bad feeling, considering the day’s events. There was no way Granny could know, right? Right? Surely not.
That didn’t stop her life from flashing before her eyes as she slowly approached her grandmother.
Granny Smith narrowed her eyes at the orange mare standing in front of her. “What is this I hear about you likin’ mares?” she asked, her tone even but slightly accusatory.
Applejack was, for all intents and purposes, a terrible liar. Absolutely horrible at it. But, in moments of extreme importance, like matters of life and death, she could force herself to be deceptive with some degree of effectiveness. Hopefully, this was one of those moments. The blonde mare summoned up every ounce of willpower she had, and focused it all on keeping a straight face and a calm, steady voice. “Golly gee, Ah don’t know,” she flatly replied, feigning ignorance, “What is it that you heard, exactly?”
“That’s exactly what I heard,” Granny Smith answered back, narrowing her eyes further and leaning forward towards Applejack. “Somethin' about you bein' a fillyfooler. Now be honest with me. Yes or no. Is it true?”
Well darn. Ironclad willpower or not, there was no way she could flat-out lie when the question was so direct. Applejack sighed, and lowered her head to stare at the floor. “Yes…” she muttered softly. “It’s true…”
“I see…” Granny Smith said, leaning back in her rocking chair. “Hmph. And is there a specific mare? You ain’t already courtin’ one, is ya?”
Applejack uncomfortably shifted her weight from side to side. “Well… Sorta. We’re not really courting yet,” she murmured, before raising a hoof to pull her hat down over her face. “But she did ask me out, and, well, Ah said yes...”
“Well?” Granny Smith growled. “Who is it?”
“It’s… um… Rainbow Dash…” Applejack sighed.
“I can’t believe it…” the older mare shook her head, visibly ashamed. “I just can’t believe that one of my grandfillies would actually start courtin’ another mare… and not tell me the good news.”
Applejack tilted her hat back a bit, and looked up at her grandmother in confusion. “Wait, wut?”
Granny Smith rolled her eyes. “What, ya think I’d be mad or somethin’ over you havin’ a thing for mares? Nah, you silly filly!” she grinned. “I’m happy for ya! I just wish you’d been comfortable enough to tell me yerself. Kinda hurts my feelings a bit. But I can see why you’d be scared to say anything. Oh well! Still good to hear ya done found somebody to be happy with, or at least try to be happy with.”
Applejack just stared. This totally wasn’t where she saw this conversation going. At all.
“Now, any idea what her favorite foods are?” Granny Smith asked with a grin.
Applejack blinked a few times, slightly confused. “Uh, not sure. Why?”
“Why, fer dinner of course,” the old earth pony replied with a flippant hoof wave. “It’d be rude not to invite yer li'l Dashie over fer a big family meal, now that y’all are gonna be courtin’ and whatnot. Do you know if she’s free tomorrow evening?”
“Family dinner…?” Applejack muttered, dumbfounded. Inviting Dash over for a family dinner was... Well, she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. Dash already knew her family, although more as acquaintances than as actual friends. And if they were going to start dating, then yeah, eventually Dash would have to get to know her family better, and vice versa. And having a nice dinner with Dash, even if her family was involved, was not an unappealing idea.
But at the same time, the idea of a big dinner with Dash and her family seemed like it could easily prove problematic, if not disastrous. Dash would likely be uncomfortable with the idea, as she probably wasn’t a fan of big proper family dinners and stuff. Plus, she’d probably feel like she had to behave a certain way, make a proper impression, or avoid saying something wrong. And somehow, inevitably, there would be awkwardness. A slip of the tongue, an odd question from Apple Bloom, or some other random thing would cause the whole thing to devolve into a rather awkward or uncomfortable situation.
“Well?” Granny Smith asked. “D’ya know if she’s free?”
“Um… Ah suppose Ah could ask her tomorrow. She’s comin’ back over for another cookin’ lesson,” Applejack replied with a shrug.
“Oh, alrighty then,” the older mare smiled. “So do you know any of her favorite meals?”
Applejack smirked and shook her head. “Other than pancakes, nope.” A thought suddenly crossed her mind. “Hey wait a tick. How’d you hear about me likin’ mares anyway?”
“Oh, Apple Bloom overheard some of what you and Big Mac were sayin’ earlier, apparently,” Granny Smith replied casually. “She wanted to know what a fillyfooler was, since she heard you referred to as one.”
Applejack’s ears fell back, and she frowned guiltily. “Oh, she heard that did she? Um… did you tell her?”
“Nah,” the elderly earth pony shook her head. “I sent her off to play with her friends.”
Applejack paled slightly. Apple Bloom was a very inquisitive pony. Granny Smith had not answered her question, which meant she would ask somepony else. Which meant she would ask her friends. And if they didn’t know, they would find somepony else to ask. One of Apple Bloom’s best friends was Sweetie Belle. And Sweetie Belle’s sister was-
With a loud gasp of horror, Applejack immediately began to gallop towards the front door. "Ah gotta go BYE!!" she yelped frantically as she departed at breakneck speed.
“Have fun!” Granny Smith feebly waved after her, completely oblivious to Applejack’s shock and distress, and the potential disaster looming on the horizon.
Applejack was freaking out. As she galloped full-throttle into town, she couldn’t help but feel as though fate was conspiring against her. Apple Bloom was on her way to go see her friends. If they’d been meeting at their clubhouse in the Sweet Apple Acres orchard, this wouldn’t be so much of a problem. She could have easily caught up to her, or at least done damage control without much trouble. But even without checking, she knew the unfortunate truth: they weren’t there.
And the most logical place for them to be terrified her beyond belief.
Earlier in the day, Apple Bloom had lamented to her that Sweetie Belle was grounded. It seemed she’d managed to grate on Rarity’s nerves enough to call for “sibling house arrest,” or so Apple Bloom had disdainfully called it. Something about Opal, an electric razor, and a “pet grooming cutie mark” attempt – Applejack hadn’t really been paying attention to the story. But there was one important detail she had managed to pay attention to. Even though Sweetie Belle was grounded, she could apparently still have visitors. Which meant that Apple Bloom’s quest for knowledge would immediately bring her right to Rarity’s doorstep.
Applejack desperately hoped that she could catch her sister before she got to Rarity’s boutique, or at least before she managed to say anything incriminating.
“Oh, good afternoon, Apple Bloom!” Rarity cheerfully said as she opened the door of her boutique.
“Howdy, Miss Rarity,” the little yellow filly replied cordially, trotting on in. “Is Sweetie Belle here?”
“Oh, but of course,” the white unicorn said with a slight roll of her eyes. “She’s not going anywhere – besides school – until our parents get back from their business trip. My poor Opal is still slightly traumatized, though at least Fluttershy was able to make her look aesthetically pleasing again. For the most part…” she sighed.
A forlorn meow echoed from a nearby room.
“Don’t worry, darling. Mommy still thinks you’re beautiful!” Rarity called out sadly to her cat. She then looked back down at Apple Bloom (who was now convinced Rarity would one day be that cliché crazy cat pony) and smiled softly. “Sweetie Belle is upstairs in her room. Your little friend Scootaloo is here, too.”
“Yay!” Apple Bloom grinned excitedly. “Just what Ah wanted to hear! Thanks, Miss Rarity.” And with that, she trotted off towards the stairs.
“Have fun!” the fashionista told her with a cheerful wave. She then sauntered back to her office, so that she could resume work on an important project that needed to be absolutely perfect. With any luck, the rest of her afternoon and evening would be free of any distractions.
True to Rarity’s word, Apple Bloom found her two best friends up in Sweetie Belle’s room. The two fillies were sitting on the floor hunched over a large book, and both were taking notes. Upon hearing the earth filly trot in, the young unicorn and pegasus both looked up and grinned in unison. “Yay!” they both cheered excitedly, quickly hopping up from their work to gallop over to their friend.
“We were hoping you might show up!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed with a grin.
“How’d the etymology cutie mark turn out?” Scootaloo asked excitedly.
Apple Bloom sighed, and cantered in a quick circle to show off her blank flank. “No luck,” she sighed. “Anyway, what are y’all up to?”
Scootaloo groaned. “Homework.”
“I’m helping her with her history assignment,” the young unicorn stated matter-of-factually. Scootaloo let out another groan. “We would have invited you, but we didn’t think you’d have as much fun with this compared to, well, anything else.”
Apple Bloom giggled. “Heh, well, fun or not, Ah don’t mind helpin’ out. But first, Ah got a question for y’all.”
“A question?” Scootaloo asked, leaning forward. Her eyes widened and sparkled with curiosity. “What kind of question?”
“How can we be of service?” Sweetie Belle inquired with a happy grin.
“Well, see, Ah heard a word earlier, and when Ah tried to ask Granny Smith about it, she avoided the subject,” Apple Bloom explained. “So, Ah was hopin’ one of y’all might know what it means.”
“What’s the word?” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both asked in unison.
“A ‘fillyfooler,’” Apple Bloom recited. “Either of y’all know what-“
Scootaloo fell over laughing. The little pegasus was soon rolling on the ground, holding her sides, laughing hysterically. “Hah hah hah! You… you asked… hah hah!” she managed to gasp through giggles.
“I don’t know what it means,” Sweetie Belle shrugged. She then looked down at Scootaloo and raised an eyebrow. “Do you know what it means?”
Scootaloo instantly stopped laughing. She looked up at her friends, and tried to put on the most innocent and oblivious smile she could muster. “Oh, no. I, uh, I just thought the word sounded funny. No idea what it means. Nope,” she casually replied, glancing around suspiciously. She then grinned and suggested to Sweetie Belle: “Hey, why don’t we go ask your sister?”
“Yeah, Rarity might know,” the purple-haired unicorn nodded.
Apple Bloom eyed Scootaloo suspiciously for a moment, before turning to Sweetie Belle and smiling. “Yeah, sure. She’s smart and stuff. Maybe it’s one of them fancy foreign words or something.” And with that, she turned and trotted out of the room, followed by Sweetie Bell.
Scootaloo followed behind them, her face contorting and twisting as she struggled not to burst into laughter again. She knew this was going to be hilarious.
Rarity’s skill with a needle and fabric were unparalleled. Without a doubt she was one of the most talented fashion designers and makers of attire in Equestria. Her attention to detail and her creativity were truly impressive, if not awe-inspiring.
And while most designers would have been distracted by three little fillies trotting into her studio, Rarity was able to keep working at a steady pace without ignoring their presence. Sitting at her sewing machine, her horn flickered with a pale blue light as her telekinesis gently guided the fabric beneath the falling needle. The white-furred unicorn turned in her chair, and smiled kindly at the trio of young ponies looking up at her, all while she continued to mentally guide the stitch pattern of her current projected.
“Yes, is there something I can do for you?” she asked politely. Thankfully, she managed to perfectly mask the hint of impatience and annoyance she felt at being interrupted.
“We have a question,” Sweetie Belle replied with a smile and cheerful expression. The poor filly was totally oblivious to the horror she was about to unleash. “What’s a ‘fillyfooler?’”
Rarity was, needless to say, caught off guard. She was so caught off guard that she almost messed up the cross-stitch pattern on the dress she was making. Almost.
The alabaster unicorn was simply shocked. Her eyes went wide, her pupils shrank, her expression was one of stunned surprise. She quickly turned off the sewing machine with her magic, and a disapproving frown formed on her features. “Sweetie Belle! Where in Equestria did you hear that word?” she asked, her tone slightly scolding.
Sweetie Belle looked genuinely surprised. Apologetic, even. “Oh, I, uh…” she muttered. She hadn’t expected her sister to respond like that. Had she said something wrong?
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo exchanged worried glances. Apple Bloom hadn’t meant for her friend to get in trouble, and whatever humor Scootaloo had expected from the situation was clearly not to be found.
“Sorry,” Apple Bloom stepped forward. “Ah heard it earlier, and Ah’m trying to figure out what it means. Granny Smith wouldn’t tell me, and since Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle didn’t know, we figured you might be able to tell me,” the little yellow filly explained. “You and Granny both got upset, but how am Ah supposed to know what’s so bad ‘bout it if nopony will tell me what the dern word means?” she asked, impatience creeping into her voice.
“Hmph,” Rarity turned her nose up, and frowned indignantly. “Mind your tone, young lady. As for the word in question, such a term is not suitable for young foals such as yourselves. You should neither hear it nor speak it. It is a crass word, and it involves things you have no business worrying about at your age.” Her tone was factual and authoritative, and the three fillies all slinked back slightly from her scolding.
The fashionista turned back around in her seat, and examined the dress she’d been working on. Thankfully, it seemed she’d avoided making any errors. “Now, may I ask where you heard that term from, Apple Bloom?” she crisply asked, disapproval still audible in her voice.
“Oh, uh, Ah heard my brother and sister talkin’ in the orchard earlier,” Apple Bloom shrugged. “They was sayin’ somethin’ ‘bout Applejack bein’ a fillyfooler.”
And in that moment, chaos erupted on levels that would have left Discord himself cackling with twisted glee.
Sweetie Belle simply raised a confused eyebrow. Scootaloo turned to Apple Bloom and asked in disbelief: “Woah, your sister likes mares?” And Rarity’s jaw nearly dislocated from her skull due to the force and speed at which it fell, while her eyes went as wide as physically possible. The white unicorn tried to turn around and look at the girls, but such was her horror and shock that she twirled around with far more intensity than she intended. And as a result, she only succeeded in hurling herself to the floor, where she landed into a jumbled, dumbfounded mass.
Apple Bloom looked over at Scootaloo, and tilted her head sideways in confusion. “Well, duh. I mean, it makes sense, considering all her friends are mares.”
Rarity let out some sort of weird sputtering gasp. Scootaloo shook her head. “No, not like that. Like, she likes them like normal mares like stallions.”
“Yeah, Ah still don’t follow…” the yellow filly frowned.
Scootaloo was about to explain, but a white hoof suddenly reached up and clasped her mouth shut. “Scootaloo!” Rarity hissed, her eyes burning with annoyance.
It seemed the classy unicorn had finally regained her composure, or at least most of it. Her fabulously coifed mane was now looking rather disheveled and tousled, and her expression was one of unrestrained frustration rather than ladylike poise. Staggering to her feet, she narrowed her eyes at the little orange filly. “Do not say another word about-“
“She means like on Hearts and Hooves Day, I think,” Sweetie Belle suddenly observed.
“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity gasped, before lunging over to cover her younger sister’s mouth with a hoof.
However, to do so she had to leave Scootaloo’s side, which meant she had to remove her hoof from the little pegasus’ mouth. And Scootaloo wasted no time in continuing her explanation. “Yeah!” she nodded. “Like dating and stuff.”
“Scootaloo!” Rarity snarled. She quickly wrapped the orange filly in a field in telekinetic energy, dragged her closer, and covered her way-too-talkative mouth with a free hoof.
But the damage was done. The gears in Apple Bloom’s head rapidly began to turn.
Rarity looked back over to Apple Bloom, and smiled. She was trying to look nice and innocent, despite her haggard appearance and the fact that she was standing there covering the mouths of two troublesome fillies to keep them silent. “Apple Bloom,” she delicately stated, attempting to sound gentle and soothing. “What they mean is-“
“Ew!” Apple Bloom suddenly exclaimed, her face contorting in shocked confusion and abject disgust. “Y’all mean mah sister likes mares like that?!”
Rarity groaned. She had no idea what to do. The only thing that could have possibly made this situation worse was if-
The front door of Rarity’s boutique suddenly flew open. A very out-of-breath Applejack quickly galloped in, and skidded to a halt in front of Rarity and the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Gasping for breath, her eyes were focused intensely on Rarity; she had not yet noticed her sister and her friends. “Rare! Have ya seen mah sister? Ah need to-“
“Sis, you like mares?!” Apple Bloom interrupted her, her expression still one of misunderstanding and distaste.
Applejack’s pupils shrank. Oh, there's Apple Bloom. “Uh… uh…” she stammered. She had no idea how to respond to this situation. And judging from her sister’s reaction, an honest answer would probably only make everything a whole lot worse.
Sweetie Belle suddenly yanked Rarity’s hoof off of her mouth, looked over at Scootaloo, and asked: “Hey wait, how did you know what it meant?”
Scootaloo pulled Rarity’s other hoof off her own mouth and grinned. “Oh, I heard it not too long ago, and asked Rainbow Dash what it meant.”
Apple Bloom looked back over her shoulder at Scootaloo, and raised an eyebrow. “Wait, is Rainbow Dash a fillyfooler too?”
Rarity’s right eye began to twitch. Applejack cringed.
“I don’t know, she never said,” Scootaloo shrugged. Rarity and Applejack both exhaled mental sighs of relief.
“Anyway, back to mah question,” Apple Bloom frowned, returning her gaze to her big sister. “Is it true, Applejack?”
Applejack was sweating bullets. “Uh… uh…” she muttered, frantically looking around for some way to avoid the question or dance around the issue.
“Girls!” Rarity suddenly snapped. All three fillies turned their eyes back up to her. “You are making an issue out of something that is relatively unimportant. This is all just…” she paused to brush a hoof through her mane, and try to regain some of her composure, “Just one big misunderstanding.”
“Misunderstandin’?” Apple Bloom muttered.
“Yes,” Rarity nodded. She had somehow managed to regain most of her poise, and now had a dainty smile on her face. She was portraying much more confidence than she was actually feeling, of course. “You see, girls, yes, Applejack likes mares in that she possesses an aesthetic appreciation for their form,” she explained, her voice calm and factual, as if she were explaining something rather mundane.
“An astheti-whatsit?” Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. Scootaloo stayed silent, but also arched a brow at Rarity’s explanation.
“An artist’s eye,” Rarity stated. “Like how a painter can see an object and appreciate its beauty and appeal, even if the item is something like an old boot. So when-“
“Oooooh,” Apple Bloom suddenly exclaimed, nodding thoughtfully. “So my sister is an artist?”
Rarity stared into space for a moment, before giving a very deliberate nod. “Yes!” she replied crisply, with an innocent grin. “That is exactly what I am trying to say. Your sister is an artist, and she likes to paint mares. Nothing more, nothing less.”
Apple Bloom continued to nod. “Uh huh... Ah see…”
“Now, why don’t you girls head back upstairs, and, um, work on homework or something,” Rarity suggested, waving them off with a hoof.
“Alrighty, thanks fer clearin’ that up, Miss Rarity!” Apple Bloom said, before trotting off towards the stairs. Before she left the room, though, she looked back at Applejack and asked: “Hey sis, can I see some of yer paintings sometime?”
“Uhhh…” Applejack paled slightly, before looking over at Rarity for help.
“They’re not finished!” Rarity proclaimed. “And an artist cannot show off unfinished work, lest it destroy their muse! Why, that would just be the worst-“
“Ah swear, if you do that thing with the sofa…” Applejack grumbled.
Rarity frowned. “Oh fine. Spoilsport.”
“Oh, okay,” Apple Bloom sighed, slightly disappointed. She then trotted up the stairs, followed by Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.
Scootaloo, however, paused before going up the stairs. She looked back at Rarity, and gave her a very doubtful stare, as if to call her out on her bluff. Rarity responded with a warning look of her own, and her harsh glare sent Scootaloo quickly scurrying up the stairs.
Once the Crusaders were gone, Rarity looked back over at Applejack and smiled. “Well, that was certainly an interesting experience,” she observed, running her hooves through her hair in an attempt to get it looking proper and pretty again.
Applejack let out a deep sigh. “Yer tellin’ me. Thanks a lot, Rare.”
“Oh, don’t mention it,” Rarity said with a wave of a hoof. Her voice had finally returned to its calm, poised, and slightly haughty self. “I could not simply sit back and watch you suffer under their scrutiny and judgment like that. They’re too young to understand the truth, so… I figured a little white lie would be the best solution,” she observed with a shrug.
The blonde earth pony grinned. “Heh. Couldn’t have done it without ya. Literally. Oh, and, uh…” her voice trailed off. Applejack’s expression grew slightly unsure, and her gaze averted off to a nearby shopping display. “Thanks. For, uh, y’know… Bein’ so understandin’ and stuff.”
Rarity scoffed. “Bah. My dear Applejack, you are one of my most close and trusted friends. Your interests and preferences are neither my business nor my concern, and even if they were, they would not bother me at all. I am rather open-minded and understanding about such things, if I do say so myself. I have no reason or motivation to judge you and your ‘aesthetic appreciations,’” the unicorn replied with a wink. “I’ve actually got a few other friends and associates with similar tastes.” She then smirked playfully and added: “If you’d like, I can give you their contact information.”
Applejack chuckled. “Heh, no thanks. Ah appreciate the offer, but… uh…” A slight blush rose to her cheeks. She wasn’t sure if she should mention Rainbow Dash and their upcoming date. While she wasn’t afraid of Rarity knowing, it also wasn’t really any of the unicorn’s business.
“Oh, I see,” the white unicorn shook her head sadly. “You wish to keep this private? I can understand why, though I hate the idea of you having to hide your own identity. It’s so unfair! You should be able to be yourself, darling, without fear of judgment,” she lamented.
“Well, no, that’s not exactly it…” Applejack frowned uncertainly. “Granny Smith and Big Macintosh already know, and they were pretty much alright with it. Apple Bloom is the only one who would be a problem.” She then raised a hoof to scratch at the back of her head, trying to figure out the right way to word the next statement. “But no, the thing is… It’s, um… Well, ya see-“
Rarity’s eyes lit up in realization. “Oh!” she gasped. Her lips quickly curled into a sly smile, and a knowing look formed in her eyes. “Could it be that a certain special somepony has already caught your eye, perhaps? Hmmm?”
Applejack’s blush slightly deepened, and she turned her gaze towards a rather fascinating light fixture across the room. “Uh… maybe?” she replied innocuously.
“Oh Applejack!” Rarity squealed, before briefly dancing excitedly on the tips of her hooves. “You simply must tell me who! Is it someone I know?”
Applejack returned her gaze back to the unicorn, slightly caught off guard by her friend’s interest. The blonde mare then smirked mischievously. Oh, this was going to be fun. “Maybe,” she answered cryptically.
Rarity’s eyes went wide. “Really? Oh, who is it? Tell me Applejack! Pleeeeeease!”
The earth pony chuckled heartily. “Well ain’t you curious…”
“Why yes, yes I am! Now tell meeeee!” Rarity whined. She then began to lightly stomp her hooves impatiently. “Tell me tell me tell me pleeeeease!”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Yer gonna pester me about this until Ah say it is, ain’t ya?”
Rarity simply grinned wickedly.
“Alright, fine,” the orange mare sighed, “I’ll tell ya. It’s Rainbow Dash. She actually asked me out earlier, and Ah said yes."
“Oh that’s wonderful news!” Rarity exclaimed, clopping her hooves together in applause. “Though it is somewhat ironic, considering-“
“Yeah, Ah know,” the blonde earth pony deadpanned. “Dash told me ‘bout the rumors and the little chat y’all had.”
Rarity smirked coyly. “Well it seems they are no longer rumors, darling.”
“Oh yes, har har har,” Applejack mock-laughed with a roll of her eyes.
“Well, sarcasm aside, let me know if you need any advice or assistance,” the unicorn said with a cheerful smile. “I could do some simply marvelous things with your mane, and with a little touch of eyeliner and some strategic use of makeup, we could have you looking absolutely gorgeous!”
Applejack stared dubiously, clearly not amused by the idea. “Yeah, no. Y’all ain’t touchin’ mah mane,” she flatly declared.
Rarity shrugged. “I merely thought I would offer. Though it bears mentioning that I have no doubt it would likely drive our dear Rainbow Dash simply mad with desire,” she observed with a wink.
Applejack tapped a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. “Uh… Y’know what, Ah’ll get back to ya on that.”
“Excellent, excellent…” Rarity replied with an almost maniacal grin. Judging from the semi-deranged look in her eyes, she was already imagining dozens of ways to give Applejack a makeover.
The farmpony shook her head in amusement. “Anyhoo, Ah should prob’ly be headin’ on out. Ah gotta go find Dash and let her know that Granny wants her to come over fer a family dinner.” The slight frown tugging at her lips clearly showed she wasn’t too fond of the idea, especially now that she knew Apple Bloom would make fuss once she figured out what was going on.
“Yes, yes, go on ahead,” Rarity muttered. She was off in her own little world now; a world populated by makeup and fashion designs that she couldn’t wait to try on Applejack. “You go have fun…”
With another bemused shake of her head, Applejack trotted for the door and made her exit.
A few moments later, Rarity suddenly stomped her hoof. “Oh shoot! It looks like Fluttershy won the bet…” she muttered.
Applejack’s trek away from Rarity’s boutique was a far cry from her original trip there. Rather than a frantic gallop, she plodded along at a slow trot. She was in no hurry, and her mind was wandering and unfocused. While her destination was Rainbow Dash’s house, or rather the patch of grassy field beneath it, she was not in too much of a hurry to get there. Not because she didn’t want to see the pegasus, but because she had no idea how to tell her about Apple Bloom’s reaction or Granny Smith’s dinner plans.
“What am I gonna do?” she absent-minded muttered to herself as she slowly made her way through town. Her head was hung low, her shoulders were slumped, and her tail was practically dragging behind her. It should have been quite obvious to any observer that something was amiss with the normally chipper and upbeat farmpony.
But it was late in the day, and not many ponies were out. Added with the fact that she was taking back streets and alleys rather than going directly through the center of town, and it was no surprise that nopony noticed her discomfort. Well, almost nopony.
Applejack suddenly paused in the middle of the street. She’d caught a glimpse of a shadow moving across the ground in front of her, in the familiar shape of a pegasus soaring overhead. Her heart nearly skipped a beat, and an excited smile appeared on her face as she craned her neck to look up into the clear skies above. But her smile quickly faded.
The sky overhead was turning a dull orange hue with the approach of dusk. If there had been any pegasi up in the air, particularly a bright blue one with a rainbow mane, they would have stuck out quite clearly. Unfortunately, there were no pegasi in sight, or even any clouds that could possibly conceal their presence.
With a disappointed sigh, Applejack lowered her gaze back to the street in front of her, and resumed her slow trot. Up until somepony yanked her hat off her head.
“Hey, what’s the big idea?!” the orange mare snarled, whirling around to see who had plucked the Stetson hat from atop her mane. However, her angry expression was quickly replaced by a perplexed one as she discovered that nopony was there. “Huh?”
“The big idea is that this hat totally looks better on me,” a familiar voice bragged from directly overhead.
Despite being frustrated with her hat being stolen, Applejack still had to struggle not to smile as she looked up at the blue pegasus hovering upside-down right above her. “Why hello there, Rainbow Dash,” she stated coolly, fixing her with an even stare as she somehow managed to keep a straight face. If she acted excited now, Dash would probably feel inclined to steal her hat more often, and that would be quite bothersome.
“Aw, I was hoping you’d be more excited to see me,” Rainbow Dash replied with false sadness, her crooked grin showing her true feelings on the matter. Stealing her friend’s hat was always a source of amusement for her, especially now that she could probably get away with it more often.
Applejack quickly stood up, plucked her hat off Dash’s head, and placed it back in its rightful position. “There,” she stated as she returned her hooves to the ground, before flashing a big grin. “Now Ah’m happy to see ya.”
Dash, still hovering upside-down a few feet over the blonde mare, continued to grin. “Good to hear. So what brings you all the way out here? Coming to see me? Am I just that irresistible?” she purred playfully.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Eh, not entirely, Ah’m afraid…” she nonchalantly replied.
The cyan-pegasus gave a quick flutter of her wings, and rolled right-side-up. She then hovered down and in front of Applejack, so she could speak to her face to face. Some ponies found air-to-ground conversations annoying or rude, after all, and she wanted to show her friend proper courtesy and respect. “Not entirely irresistible? Darn, I need to work on that,” she quipped with a grin and a waggle of her eyebrows. Her cheeky grin quickly faded, though. “But seriously, what’s up? You were looking kinda down when I flew over a second ago.”
“Eh…” the farmpony shrugged, glancing off to the side. “Just got some stuff on my mind.”
Dash frowned slightly, and a look of concern filled her eyes. She resisted making the obvious joke about herself being on AJ’s mind, and the connotations attached to it. “What’s wrong? Is it stuff about us? Did I do something wrong?”
Applejack gave a shake of her head. “Nah. You ain’t done nothin’ wrong. Don’t be frettin’ ‘bout that. It’s just…” her voice trailed off, and an uncertain look formed on her face. Her gaze one again drifting off to the side, she muttered: “Well, let’s just say not all of my family is keen on us courtin’ and whatnot.”
The cyan pegasus frowned. “Uh oh. Let me guess. Granny Smith? How’d she find out?”
The blonde mare let out a small laugh. “Funny thing, actually. She’s perfectly fine with it. Wants you to come over fer a family dinner, in fact.”
The blue pegasus stared blankly in confusion for a few seconds, trying to process that information. “Do what now?” she asked with a mixture of confusion and disbelief. “She’s actually cool with it? And a family dinner, you say?”
“Yeah, that’s part of the problem…” Applejack grumbled. “Ya see, Apple Bloom overheard a bit of me and Big Mac talkin’ ‘bout what happened. He’s also ‘cool with it,’ by the way. Anyhoo, she asked Granny Smith what a fillyfooler was.”
Naturally, Dash burst into laughter at this point. “Sorry, sorry…” she apologized through giggles. “Keep going…”
“So yeah, Granny Smith sent her off to play with her friends, without answering her question…” the blonde pony explained to her friend. “An’ in her quest fer knowledge, she went to go ask them Cutie Mark Crusader friends of hers.”
Rainbow Dash’s silly smile disappeared instantly. “Uh oh. Um. Scootaloo kinda asked me what a fillyfooler was a few weeks ago, and-“
“Yeah, Ah know,” the orange mare deadpanned. “Ah got there about five seconds too late.”
“Oh…” Dash winced, her shoulders shirking and her ears falling back. “And I’m guessing Apple Bloom didn’t respond too well?”
Applejack raised a hoof to her forehead, and began to massage her brow. “Not at all…” she groaned. “Thankfully, Rarity was able to do damage control.”
“Oh, Rarity knows too? Well, at least she was able to help…” the pegasus muttered.
“Yeah, and she didn’t make too much fuss about me or us. Was pretty excited about it, actually. Even offered to gimme a makeover an’ stuff,” Applejack idly muttered. Dash shot her a quizzical look. “Only real problem right now is that Apple Bloom thinks I’m an artist.”
The blue pegasus suddenly leaned her face in closer to Applejack’s. “Oooo, draw me like one of your French mares…” she purred seductively. It wasn’t clear whether she was being playful or not.
Applejack stared for several seconds, before muttering: “Ya know, Ah may have to actually take up painting now…”
Dash quickly cantered a circle around the earth pony, giggling as she went. “I was joking. But if you actually want to try to learn how to paint, I totally don’t mind being your model. Or muse. Whatever you call it,” she rolled her eyes. Art wasn’t really her thing, so she had no idea what the right terminology was.
Applejack smirked at the offer. “Heh, thanks. But…” he smirk faded, and worry returned to her eyes. “There’s still the issue of Apple Bloom. Ah mean, I hate to hide stuff from her, but that’s prob’ly not even gonna be an option. Granny Smith will likely be makin’ all sorts of comments and askin’ questions at the family dinner. That’s gonna make hidin’ things pretty much impossible. And once the cat’s out of the bag… well, then things are just gonna get messy,” she lamented with a frown. The earth pony sat down and sighed. “This is gonna be a disaster…”
Rainbow Dash took a small step forward. “Well, if it’s too much trouble…” she muttered softly, “Why don’t we just avoid it altogether? If ‘courting’ you is going to cause so much trouble for you with your family and stuff, then maybe we… shouldn’t?” It was quite clear from the hints of sadness in her voice and the faint pain in her eyes that she personally hated the idea. But it was also clear that her concern for Applejack far outweighed her own wants and desires.
Upon hearing her suggestion, though, Applejack’s eyes went wide, and she recoiled back a step in shock. “What? N-no!” she stammered. “That, that ain’t fair! Not to you. Not to us…” she muttered sadly. It was unclear to Dash whether Applejack was failing to hide the sorrow seeping into her voice, or if she wasjust not even trying at all.
The rainbow-maned mare quickly trotted closer, and turned to stand adjacent to Applejack’s left side. “Hey, hey, it’s alright,” she murmured gently in an attempt to comfort her friend. “I don’t actually want to call things off or anything. I was just trying to… you know…” her voice trailed off as she found herself unable to figure out what to say.
Dash wasn’t good with words and feelings. She preferred to be straightforward, and let her actions do most of the talking for her. So, rather than fumble with words and explanations that would make the situation worse, she decided to just communicate through action, rather than conversation.
The pegasus unfolded her right wing and draped it over Applejack’s back, leaving the wingtip hanging down over her opposite side. It was a gesture pegasi considered on par with a hug, if not just a variant of hugging that used wings instead of hooves. She felt Applejack tense slightly at first, and her eyes shifted to stare confusedly at the blue mare. “Whatcha doin’?” she asked warily.
“I’m giving you a hug,” Dash replied with a small smile. “Or at least, what most pegasi would call a hug.”
“Oh…” Applejack mused, still looking slightly perplexed. Dash felt her quickly start to relax under her wing. In fact, after a few seconds, Applejack closed her eyes, and leaned up against the pegasus. “Ah ain’t complaining…” she softly murmured, resting her head against Dash’s neck. "Not one bit."
Dash giggled, a small smile of contentment forming on her face. She wasn’t complaining either, especially in regards to the earth pony leaning against her for support. She didn’t say anything aloud, though. Once again, she knew actions spoke louder than words, and words would have only hurt the moment.
So the two mares just stood there for a minute or so, Dash with her wing draped over Applejack, and Applejack gently leaning against Dash. The silence was finally broken, however, when the pegasus smirked and stated: “You know, if we stay like this much longer, somepony is going to see.”
“Consarnit,” the blonde mare grunted. She then leaned back away from Dash and sighed. “That’s all we need right now…”
Dash tensed her wing, briefly tightening her “embrace” of Applejack. “Don’t worry, it’s not like this is the only time I’ll ever get to hug you.”
Applejack smiled. “True. But yer right, we should probably try to look a bit less, er, conspicuous.”
Dash nodded, and took a step away from Applejack. However, rather than completely retracting her wing, she only pulled it back slightly so that the wingtip was resting behind the earth pony’s mane, right at the base of her neck. With a sly smile, she proceeded to lightly run the tips of her feathers down most of the length of Applejack’s back, before gently grazing her wingtip across her friend’s cutie mark. Only then did she retract her wing.
Applejack felt a small shiver run down her spine in the wake of the feathers, particularly when Dash grazed her cutie mark. Almost immediately, a small blush rose to her cheeks. “What in tarnation was that?” she asked after the pegasus had folded her wing back against her side.
It was Dash’s turn to blush. “Oh, uh, you don’t know?”
“Know what?” the orange mare replied, perplexed.
“Oh, it’s, um,” Dash muttered with a sideways glance. She raised a hoof and awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck, before letting out a small, nervous chuckle. “Heh. Heh. Darn, of course you don’t know. Um. Oh jeez, this is awkward. I’m not good with explaining things. Especially stuff like this. Uh...”
“What am Ah missin’ here?”
“It’s, like a… It’s a pegasus thing,” Dash tried to explain.
Applejack raised an eyebrow. It was very odd to see the normally cool and confident pegasus looking so unsure, perhaps even embarrassed. “A pegasus thing?”
Dash uncertainly shifted her weight from side to side. It seemed she was having trouble finding the right words. “Yeah, like body language, only with a wing. Wing language. Something like that. A little gesture we do. With our wings.” She unfolded her wings and flexed them a bit for emphasis.
“Well, what’s it mean?” Applejack inquired.
The blush on the cyan pegasus’ cheeks darkened further. “Well, you see, it’s like… Um. It’s a show of affection. Like a way to say ‘I like you,’ but there’s a little bit more to it than just that. Like, it says you’ve got more than just a passing interest,” she explained, the hesitation in her voice betraying her nervousness. “It’s, uh, it’s like a show of legit interest, and, uh,” she averted her gaze, clearly embarrassed now, “Y’know, trust and stuff.”
Applejack studied Rainbow Dash for a moment. She then smirked and observed: “Ya know, yer pretty cute when yer flustered like that.”
Dash’s blue face somehow managed to turn even redder. “H-hey!” she stammered indignantly. “I’m not flustered! I just, uh, I just- Ugh. How many times have I gotta say that I’m not good at talking and explaining stuff?” she huffed. “I’m out of my element, alright?”
“Nothin’ to be embarrassed about, Darlin’,” the blonde farmpony replied with a comforting smile. “Ah think Ah get what yer sayin’ about the weird little wingtip back strokey thing, though. It’s supposed to be more of a cutesy meaningful thing, rather than a flirty playful thing. Right?”
The pegasus shrugged both her shoulders and her wings. “Yeah, something like that.”
Applejack paused to look around. As far as she could tell, nopony watching them. In fact, it didn’t seem like anypony else was around. Feeling confident that they were alone, she turned to look back at the pegasus. The orange mare suddenly leaned her face closer to Dash’s, and gave a coy smirk. “Soooo, somethin’ like this, then?” And with that, she gave Dash a small kiss on the cheek, her lips lingering for several seconds before she pulled away.
The crimson hue on Dash’s cheeks now perfectly matched the red streaks in her mane and tail. Her eyes went distant, and a goofy grin quickly formed on her face. “Yeah, uh, something like that. A lot like that. That’s… yeah, that’s a good… comparison… thingy…” she babbled. It was quite obvious that her mind was barely tethered to reality at this point.
Applejack couldn’t help but tilt her head back and laugh at her friend’s dumbfounded reaction. “Hah! Well, glad we got things all cleared up then.” She then raised a hoof to adjust her hat, before turning and trotting a few steps away from Dash. “Now come along now, Sugarcube.”
The blue pegasus shook her head to regain her senses, and shakily flapped her wings to get airborne and hover after Applejack. “Wait, where are we going?” she asked, perplexed.
“Well, it’s gettin’ close to dusk,” Applejack shrugged as she continued to trotted steadily down the street. “Ah prob’ly need to be gettin’ on home soon.” She then paused to look back over her shoulder at Dash, and smirked. “Ah figured you’d wanna accompany me on back, at least part of the way.”
Dash responded to the smirk and the offer with a lopsided grin. “Sure, I don’t mind.” Hovering up alongside the orange mare, she gave her a gentle hoof-jab to the shoulder and snarked: “Somepony has to make sure you stay out of trouble, after all.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh yes, mah hero,” she sarcastically replied.
Dash simply chuckled. She then hovered up over Applejack and rolled on her back, so that she was flying along upside down. She folded her forehooves over her chest in a sign of relaxation, and allowed her head to hang down just over her friend’s. Of course, a weathered old hat obstructed their direct view of each other. Despite being so laid-back about it, the pegasus managed to keep flying with almost perfect precision.
“Ah ain’t even gotta look to know yer showin’ off, ain’t ya?” the orange mare deadpanned.
Dash closed her eyes and nodded. “Uh huh.”
The two walked and hovered along in silence for a few moments, taking a shortcut or three through some of Ponyville’s small side-streets. As they turned down one street, Applejack tilted her head back to look up at her friend. “So, what are some of yer favorite foods?”
The pegasus opened an eye, and looked down in confusion. “Uh, what? Why you wanna know?”
“Fer the dinner of course,” Applejack replied. “Like Ah said, Granny Smith wants ya to come over fer a family dinner. Ah wanna make sure we make somethin’ ya like. So, what are yer favorite foods?”
The answer came back quite quickly. “Pizza,” Dash said with a deliberate nod.
Applejack paused mid-trot, and looked up to give her pegasus friend an exasperated stare. “Um, Dash, pizza ain’t exactly good ol’ fashioned family cookin’. Least, not mah sorta family cookin’.”
“Hey, you asked about my favorite food,” Dash replied with an airborne shrug.
The farmpony sighed, and resumed her trotting. “Okay, how ‘bout a favorite food ya’d expect to have at a home-cooked family dinner?”
The rainbow-maned mare pondered thoughtfully for a moment. “Hmmmmm.” She then gave another shrug of her shoulders as she idly flew along. “Fried catfish?”
Applejack froze, and turned slightly pale. “Fried do what now?”
“Fried catfish,” Dash casually repeated herself. “Gilda managed to get me to eat some one time, and it was actually pretty good. She said it was a southern recipe. And I figured- bwahahahah!” she suddenly burst into uproarious laughter. “Okay, I’m sorry, I can’t keep that up. I’ve never had fried catfish, though Gilda really did try to make me eat some one time.”
Applejack’s color returned, though not entirely, and she let out a relieved sigh. “Wow. Ya really got me there for a second. But, uh, seriously now. Whatcha want fer dinner?” she asked as she resumed her trot towards the edge of town.
Dash gave another shrug. “Honestly, I’m not too picky. I’m sure whatever you and your family makes will be awesome. Though, some apple fritters for desert would be cool.”
The blonde mare smirked confidently. “Yeah, Ah think Ah can handle some fritters. Actually, are ya free tomorrow evenin’?”
“I can be. Why?”
“Well, do you still wanna come over for cooking lessons?”
The cyan mare smirked. “Naturally.”
“Well, how ‘bout this then. You come over in the afternoon, Ah teach ya to make fritters, and then ya stay fer dinner. Sound good?” Applejack asked with a grin.
The pegasus rolled right-side up, and clopped her hooves together with excitement. “Sounds awesome!” Dash exclaimed. “But, uh… What about your sister and stuff?”
The orange earth pony let out a small sigh. “Ah dunno. Maybe we can dance around the issue, or keep her from getting’ too suspicious. But worst case scenario, Ah guess we just tell her the truth, an’ hope fer the best.”
Dash smiled softly, and lowered her altitude to hover alongside Applejack. “Hey, if it helps, I can give you more wing hugs afterwards.”
Applejack cast a sideways glance to her friend, and returned her soft smile. “Maybe. They prob’ly won’t fix the problem, but they’ll help me feel better, at least. We’ll just have to make sure Apple Bloom don’t see. That’d just make things a whole lot worse…”
“Eh, as long as we don’t get caught, everything should be fine. I mean, if we can get through dinner without her figuring everything out, then as long as we’re not too obvious about things, I don’t think Apple Bloom will ever be too much of a problem,” the winged mare mused.
“Eeyup,” the farmpony nodded as they reached the edge of town. “The less she knows, the better…”
Meanwhile, a few rooftops behind them, a small but feisty orange pegasus by the name of Scootaloo was surveying the two mares through a set of binoculars. As the targets of her observation reached the edge of town, the walkie-talkie sitting next to her suddenly crackled to life. “Big Apple to Songbird and Chicken Wing. Big Apple to Songbird and Chicken Wing. Y’all copy?” drawled the heavily-accented voice of Apple Bloom over the radio.
“This is Songbird, I read you,” the voice of Sweetie Bell answered over the communication device. “Over.”
Scootaloo reached over with a hoof to key the transmitter on the walkie-talkie. “Chicken Wing here. Told you I was right!” she proclaimed triumphantly. “Er, over.”
“Hush up Chicken Wing, ya already said that five times,” Apple Bloom’s voice replied. “Let’s focus on the big picture. Over.”
“Sorry,” Scootaloo shrugged. “Well, it looks like they’re leaving town, heading back towards the farm. Not really much else to observe or hear, I don’t think. Over.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Bell’s voice crackled over the device. “I think we’ve heard enough. If we try to follow them any further, they’ll probably see us. I’m running out of trash cans to hide behind. Over. Er, not over the trash cans, over… the message… thing. Over.”
Apple Bloom sighed audibly over the walkie-talkie. “So it’s true, then. Mah big sister really does like mares.”
“Sorry Apple Blo- I mean, Big Apple. I mean, it’s not so bad, really,” Scootaloo tried to console her.
“Eh, it ain’t like Ah’m mad about it or nothin’ like that,” Apple Bloom replied. “It’s just… weird. Ah don’t get it.”
“Maybe you’re not old enough to get it?” Sweetie Belle suggested. “My sister said we weren’t old enough to talk about stuff like this, didn’t she? So maybe it’s something we’re supposed to learn about in school later on, or something like that?”
“Maybe,” Apple Bloom answered back through a short burst of static. “Though, Ah dunno how ta feel about them tryin’ ta keep it a secret from me an’ stuff.”
“It sounds like they just don’t want to upset you,” Sweetie Belle observed.
“Yeah, don’t take it too personally,” Scootaloo transmitted with a shrug. She then added: “Also, we keep forgetting to say ‘over.’ Over.”
“Oh yeah, you’re right,” Sweetie Belle responded, before quickly adding: “Over!”
“Yeah, Ah guess y’all are right. Ah shouldn’t be too upset,” Apple Bloom mused. “Over.”
Scootaloo grinned wickedly. “You should totally mess with them tomorrow during the dinner thing. Over.”
“Brilliant!” Sweetie Belle proclaimed loudly. Scootaloo actually heard her both over the walkie-talkie, and from the alley way down the street. “Yeah, you should totally mess with them. Ask tricky questions and stuff. Hee hee! Over.”
“Heh, yer right. That could be fun. Heh heh heh…” Apple Bloom chuckled darkly. However, her laughter was suddenly interrupted by another, unrecognizable voice in the background. “Oh! Uh. Hiya there, Miss Twilight!”
Scootaloo looked down at her walkie-talkie in confused surprise. She then raised a hoof to her mouth to stifle her laughter.
“Yeah, Ah was just, uh… Oh, the binoculars? They’re fer, uh, bird watching. Yes. Bird watching. Trying to get my bird watching cutie mark,” Apple Bloom explained, accidentally transmitting her defense over the walkie-talkie. “Bird watchin’ is exactly why Ah am on yer balcony. Oh, uh, the walkie-talkie? It’s, uh… Fer coordination. With other bird watchers. With our binoculars. So we can watch the birds from, uh… all the angles. All the different angles. At once. To see their plumage and stuff. With radio coordination. Because we’re awesome bird watchers like that. Uh huh. Ya don’t believe me do ya? Darn. Uuuuuhhh… Big Apple to Chicken Wing and Songbird, Ah’m gonna have to talk to y’all later. Over and out.”
Static filled the frequency. After a few seconds, Sweetie Belle’s voice crackled through to static. “Well that was absolutely painful to listen to.”
Scootaloo was unable to respond, as she had finally fallen over, laughing at the hilarity of it all.
Applejack yawned. And with that yawn came a scowl.
Sleep had not come easily for her last night. The day’s events had left Applejack feeling quite excited and practically giddy, while tomorrow’s potential disasters made her nervous and fretful. As she lay in bed trying to sleep, her mind had refused to stop thinking of all the different ways things could go incredibly wrong, or incredibly well. Potential scenarios her mind had conjured up included Apple Bloom disowning her as a sister, her and Dash making out in a closet, and other various disastrous or awesome possibilities.
Eventually, sheer fatigue had forced her overactive imagination to quiet down, and she’d drifted off into an uneasy and much-too-short slumber. When the crowing of the rooster had awoken her at the crack of dawn, the sleep-deprived pony immediately began plotting vengeance against the fowl. That vengeance would have to wait, of course. She had a busy day ahead of her.
Thankfully, Applejack’s workload for the day was light, courtesy Big Mac. He’d offered to take over most of her work and responsibilities, so that she’d be able to enjoy her afternoon with Dash and work on putting the dinner together. (Though they both knew Granny would probably insist on handling dinner herself, and chase any interlopers out of the kitchen with a ladle.) Having finished all her chores, Applejack had then set about the task of preparing the kitchen for Dash’s lesson. She’d gotten together a bunch of apples, proper utensils, paper towels, skillet, oil, all the ingredients for the batter, and of course, a spare fire extinguisher.
Sadly, though, she was lacking a spare fancy chef hat.
Other than the lack of proper culinary attire, it seemed Applejack had everything taken care of. All that she could do now was wait for Rainbow Dash – which was exactly what she was doing right at this moment. Sitting in the kitchen, staring out the window, the orange mare struggled to stifle another yawn. She was tired, she was worried, she was excited, and worst of all, she was bored. Leaning back in her chair at the table, Applejack let out a small sigh. Dash should have been here by now. What was taking her so long?
The back door suddenly opened, and Applejack twisted in her seat to see who was there. An excited grin appeared on her face… only to disappear just as quickly as it had materialized. “Oh, hi Apple Bloom. Whatcha been up to?”
“Eh, studyin’ bugs. Thought maybe Ah might have more luck on that Etymology mark if Ah tried lookin’ at ants. No luck,” Apple Bloom sighed as she closed the door behind her. “Pokin’ ‘em with a stick was fun, at least. What are you up to, Sis?”
“Just waitin’ for Rainbow Dash,” Applejack replied nonchalantly. She figured that if she acted like it was no big deal, Apple Bloom wouldn’t get curious and ask questions.
“Oh? What are y’all gonna do?” the little yellow filly asked as she trotted over to join her sister at the table.
“Ah’m gonna give her some cooking lessons,” Applejack replied matter-of-factly.
Apple Bloom looked at her sister quizzically. “Rainbow Dash can’t cook?” When Applejack shook her head, the younger sibling burst into a fit of giggles. A pointed glare from the orange mare quickly silenced her, though. “Sorry, it’s just kinda funny. Ah though everypony knew how to cook. So whatcha gonna teach her?”
The orange mare pointed to the counter-top covered in ingredients. “Apple fritters.” Apple Bloom opened her mouth to say something, but Applejack cut her off. “No, ya can’t join us. Sorry, Sis. You can help me cook some other time, but Ah need to be able to focus and keep an eye on Dash’s work.” And Dash herself. But Apple Bloom didn’t need to know that.
Apple Bloom sighed dejectedly, her shoulders slumping with disappointment. “Alright…”
A silence descended upon the kitchen. For a long moment, neither sister said anything. And then, out of nowhere, Apple Bloom innocuously asked: “So, ya really like her, dontcha?”
Applejack’s blood ran cold. “Doowubba?” she yammered, her pupils contracting as she turned her gaze down towards her sister. “Uh, whatcha mean?”
Apple Bloom shot her a quizzical look. “Why, as a friend of course. What else would Ah mean?” she asked, the innocence of her expression and tone in no way reflecting the true mischievous nature of her intentions.
“Oh, right,” Applejack nodded, mentally breathing a sigh of relief, though her heart continued to hammer at a frenzied pace. “Yeah, she’s one of mah best friends. Prob’ly mah best friend, honestly.”
The little yellow filly smiled. “That’s good ta hear. She seems pretty nice. If a bit arrogant.”
Applejack frowned. “Now Apple Bloom, that ain’t nice. Dash aint’…” A pause. “Okay yeah, she is kinda arrogant,” she observed with a grin and a roll of her eyes. Both siblings promptly began to laugh. Once she was done chuckling, the older sister adjusted her hat and continued speaking. “But arrogance aside, she’s a pretty good friend. Nice, loyal, funny, awesome, so on an’ so forth.”
As if cue, there was a knock at the front door. “Speak of the devil,” Applejack quipped, hopping out of her chair and trotting into the living room. Apple Bloom trailed after her, pondering her sister’s words and doing a bit of devious plotting. The orange mare was quick to open the door, and upon seeing who was on the other side, her stress and fatigue were all completely forgotten. Temporarily, at least.
“Goooood afternoon, Applejack,” Rainbow Dash cheerfully greeted her as she stepped through the doorway. Upon seeing Apple Bloom, she smiled and added: “Afternoon to you too, Applebloom.”
“Hey there, Rainbow Dash,” the little filly replied with a cheerful wave.
As she shut the door behind her friend, Applejack’s eyes fell upon the saddlebags strapped to the blue pegasus’ flank. “Whatcha got there?”
Dash grinned, and immediately opened her mouth to make a witty remark about Applejack staring at her flank. The words promptly died on her tongue, though, as she remembered Apple Bloom was standing right there. So instead she just went ahead and answered the question. “Oh, I got you a present on the way here. Sorry for being late, by the way.”
“Nah, ya ain’t late,” the blonde pony replied with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “An’ what sort of present?”
A large grin formed on the pegasus face. Reaching into the saddlebag, she proceeded to pull out a pair of matching chef hats and hold them up for her friend to see. “Ta-da!”
Applejack blinked. “Ya got me a pair of hats?”
Dash chuckled. “No, I got us both a hat. One for you since I totally burninated your last one, and one for me since I’m going to be a totally awesome chef when this is over!”
Apple Bloom immediately started giggling. The fact that Dash burnt her sister’s fancy cooking hat, combined with her thinking she’d somehow become a fancy culinary master after just one lesson, was very amusing to her. Of course, an annoyed glare from her big sister quickly silenced her giggling. “Uh… maybe Ah should leave y’all to yer lesson, an’ go, uh, look at bugs s’more. Maybe try butterflies this time. Yeah, Ah’m feelin’ confident ‘bout this Etymology cutie mark,” the yellow filly explained with a sheepish grin. She then began to inch towards the front door.
“Yeah, that’s prob’ly a good idea,” Applejack exasperatedly agreed. “You go have fun, an’ stay out of trouble.” Apple Bloom nodded, then darted out the door. With her sister gone, she turned to Dash and smiled. “Thank you, Rainbow Dash. Ah really appreciate the thought.”
“No problem,” the pegasus cheerfully replied. She then smirked, and struck a determined, ready-to-go pose. “Now, are we gonna get some cooking done, or what?”
Applejack chuckled and turned towards the kitchen. “Glad ta see yer so gung-ho about it. Right this-a-way.”
“Sweetness!” Dash grinned. She quickly followed her friend into the kitchen, and quickly looked around the room. While the table was bare, the counter was covered in various items and ingredients, ranging from flour to frying pans. The stovetop had also been cleaned up. “Oh hey, you guys were able to clean up the stove. Awesome.”
“Actually, Big Macintosh did most of the work on that.”
The rainbow-maned pony winced. “Oh, jeez. First I mentally scarred him, then he had to clean up that mess? I think I owe the poor guy a soda or something.”
“Eh, don’t worry ‘bout it,” Applejack shrugged. “Ah’ll find some way to make it up to him.”
Dash contemplated for a moment. “Hm. Where is Big Mac, anyway? And Granny Smith?”
“Big Mac’s workin’ in the orchard,” the blonde mare replied. “Granny’s sellin’ apples in town.”
“So… we’re all alone?” Dash asked, looking around suspiciously.
“Yeah,” Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
The pegasus didn’t answer. At least, not with words. Before Applejack could react, she took several steps forward, sidled up alongside the farm mare, and extended her left wing. “Here,” she said as she draped the azure appendage over her friend’s shoulders. “I figured you’d like a hug.”
With a faint blush rising to her cheeks, Applejack leaned into the “embrace,” and smiled contently. “Thank. But what makes ya say that?”
“I figured you’d be a bit nervous about tonight,” Dash shrugged. She then smirked, and added: “Plus, why wouldn’t you like a hug?”
“Point,” Applejack conceded. She then turned her face towards Dash’s, and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “I really appreciate the hugs. An’ the hat.”
Dash chuckled. “Heh, no problem, for either one. We should probably get to cooking soon, though, before anypony comes back.”
“Yeah, ya got a point,” Applejack nodded. There was a slight hint of disappointment in her voice. She liked the odd little wing-hugs Dash gave her, and wasn’t keen on ending them so soon. And just as before, when Dash retracted her wing, she ran the wingtip down her back and across her cutie mark. An involuntary shudder ran through the orange mare, and the faint blush on her cheeks grew slightly darker. “Durn, that always feels kinda weird…” Applejack muttered.
Dash smirked slyly. “Oh, you know you like it,” the pegasus mischievously purred.
Applejack’s blush turned an even darker shade of crimson. “Ahem, so yeah, uh, cooking,” she coughed, turning back towards the myriad of ingredients laid out on the counter. “We should probably get it on.” A split-second later, Applejack’s eyes went wide in horror. “Get on with it!” she gasped. “Ah meant to say ‘get on with it!’”
She was too late. Rainbow Dash was already laughing hysterically, sprawled out on her back and clutching her sides as she rolled around on the floor. “Hah! Oh my gosh, that’s amazing!” she exclaimed through giggle fits. “Oh I can’t believe you just said that! That’s priceless! Hah hah!”
Applejack’s face was practically as red as her cutie mark. “Har har, very funny,” she grunted. “It was just a slip of the tongue. Don’t read too far into it or nothin’ like that.”
“Aw, you’re no fun,” Dash grinned playfully. “Relax, I know it was just a… oh, whatever that fancy name is for getting words mixed up, and saying what you were thinking. Grr. Twilight would know. Oh well, whatever.”
(If Twilight were there, she would have informed her it was a “Freudian Slip.”)
“Anyhoo,” Applejack murmured, trotting over to the counter. “Let’s get on with the cooking lesson.”
“Yeah, yeah,” the pegasus replied, rising back onto her hooves. After flexing her wings to properly adjust them and balance herself, she cantered up alongside her friend. “Fun’s over, let’s get down to business.”
“The fun is indeed over. We should probably avoid any more huggin’ and stuff, in case Apple Bloom drops back in without warnin’ or somethin’,” Applejack suggested warily.
Dash nodded. “No PDA. Got it.”
The farm mare tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “PDA?”
“Public Displays of Affection,” Dash replied factually. She then gave her friend a confused look. “You’ve never heard of that before?”
“Oh. Yeah, uh,” Applejack smiled sheepishly, and her embarrassed blush showed no signs of fading any time soon. “Ah ain’t too experienced or knowledgeable ‘bout dating or, uh, the lingo.”
“Ooooh,” the pegasus nodded thoughtfully. “Well, don’t feel too bad. The lingo’s about all I know about.”
“What, you ain’t ever had a special somepony before me?” Applejack asked, her lips curling into a faint smirk. She couldn’t help but feel an odd satisfaction at knowing she was the first mare Dash had asked out.
Dash gave a nervous chuckle, and began to rub the back of her neck with her right wing. “Well I mean, it’s not for lack of trying. I’ve asked out a couple of ponies, and I’ve been asked out a few times… But one of us always said no, or there was never really, like, that spark or whatever you want to call it,” she explained, her blue cheeks taking on a light tinge of red. She then hastily added: “But this time is like, y’know, different.”
“Of course,” Applejack replied with a knowing smirk. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t actually the first pony Dash had asked out. But she was the first pony Dash had actually started courting, and that was something to take pride in.
“So, uh…” Dash smiled sheepishly, wishing the blush on her cheeks would hurry up and go away, “How about those apple fritters?”
The country mare grinned, and nodded her head at the assorted ingredients on the counter. “Yer right, let’s get started. Ah’ll show ya what’s what, and guide ya through it all.”
And so began Dash’s second lesson in cooking.
The plucky blue pegasus was capable of a lot of things. She could pull off amazing aerial maneuvers, including the awe-inspiring Sonic Rainboom. She could expertly recognize and calculate weather patterns and other meteorological information, and was able to keep Ponyville’s weather patrol in tip-top operating order. She knew tons about the Wonderbolts – not just their techniques and flight patterns, but also personal information, including birthdays, service records, and Soarin’s favorite flavor of pie. She was also walking encyclopedia regarding Daring Do, and could even recite certain passages from the books straight from memory.
But she did not understand a dang thing Applejack was saying right now.
“Okay, wait a second,” Dash interrupted with a shake of her head. “So we’re going to mix all that flour, egg, milk, sugar, and other stuff to make fritter batter, which is almost no different from pancake batter. Then we’re going to dip apple slices in the batter. Then we’re going to fry it in the skillet in hot oil.”
“Eeyup,” Applejack confirmed with an air of confidence.
“Sooooo… why not just make pancake batter?” the pegasus asked.
“Pancake batter. Since it’s so similar, why not just make that?”
“Because we’re making fritters,” the blonde mare replied with a dubious look.
“Yeah, but why can’t we use the pancake batter?” Dash inquired. “I mean, you already showed it to me once, so if we use it again, it’ll stick in my memory better.”
“Because then we won’t have fritters, we’ll have pancake-wrapped apple slices. Pan-fritters. Fritter-cakes. Whatever ya wanna call ‘em,” Applejack deadpanned.
The pegasus gave a shrug of her shoulders and wings in unison. “Still sounds tasty. Does it really make that big a difference?”
Applejack sighed. “Do ya even remember the pancake recipe?”
“No.”
“Then let’s just do fritter batter and leave it at that,” Applejack flatly stated.
Dash leaned back against the counter, crossed her forehooves, and sighed. “Fiiiiiiine.”
The orange earth pony shook her head in bemusement. “Alright. Let’s put our fancy little hats on, and get this thing started.”
And get started they did. After putting on their chef hats, the two ponies began the process of making the batter. Applejack would give Dash an instruction, and guide her through how to do it. And almost every time, Dash would somehow find a way to screw it up.
First there was the flour. Dash actually got that part right, perfectly measuring out the required amount with expert precision, so spirits were high when the next step came. She did not do nearly as good on the eggs. Applejack did the first one, masterfully cracking it clean open with no fuss or mess. Dash was not a quick learner, and she quickly found herself with egg yolk smeared all over her hooves, and shattered egg – shell and all – splattered in the mixing bowl.
“It’s okay, plenty more flour to work with…” Applejack had told her with a soft, comforting smile.
Starting over, Dash let Applejack handle the eggs this time. Then came the large amount of sugar, and the small amount of salt. Dash got them confused.
“Uh… Dash…” the orange mare had winced, “Ah think ya just dumped in ‘bout half a cup of salt…”
“Aw crap…” the pegasus had sighed. “We have to start over again, don’t we?”
The third time was not the charm. The flour, eggs, sugar, salt, all went right. Next went the baking soda and baking powder. Thankfully, Dash did not get them confused. However, Applejack failed to clarify the difference in a teaspoon and a tablespoon. So when she told her how many teaspoons of each amount to use, the pegasus had quickly shoveled several tablespoons into the nearly-complete batter mix. Only after they were dumped in did Applejack recognize the type of spoon her friend was holding in her hoof, and her expression quickly went from a delighted smile to a disheartened grimace.
Upon seeing her culinary tutor’s reaction, Dash promptly laid down on the floor, put her hooves over her eyes, and loudly groaned. “Daaaaamn iiiiiit…”
“It’s alright, Sugarcube. Ah should have told ya the difference in a teaspoon and a tablespoon…” Applejack softly consoled her.
The rainbow-maned mare looked up from her moping, and with a rather distraught expression wailed: “Why can’t a spoon just be a spoon?!”
Applejack chuckled. “Cuz life can’t ever be too simple. Now get up. We got enough flour for another try or two. Ah can make the batter if you want, and you can just observe and take mental notes or somethin’.”
Dash rose back to her hooves, and let out an annoyed sigh. “Yeah, let’s just do that. I’m probably getting too ahead of myself.”
The next batch of batter was whipped up in a jiffy. Dash couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of jealousy as she watched her friend precisely measure out each set of ingredients, add them to the mix, and stir it up without any problems. Applejack had been cooking all her life, and her years of experience made themselves clearly obvious. As the farmpony added the last ingredient – cinnamon – and stirred it into the mix, Dash watched with rapt attention.
However, Dash’s gaze eventually began to drift from the mixing bowl to the hooves doing the stirring. Her eyes slowly began to trace a path up Applejack’s forelegs, to her chest, and finally up to her face. Her gaze lingered there, and she soon found herself idling admiring the beauty of the pony in front of her. She was practically enthralled by the orange earth pony’s attractive features, her cute freckles, her mesmerizing green eyes… which suddenly turned in her direction.
“Starin’ is rude, ya know,” Applejack playfully chided her with a crooked grin. “Enjoyin’ the show?”
The normally cool and collected Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but feel a slight spike of nervous panic as she was caught in the act. “I w-was-wasn’t staring!” the blue pegasus stammered, taking a small step back. “I was, uh, I was…” her voice trailed off as her cheeks began to redden, and finally she just grinned sheepishly at her friend. “Uhh… yeah. I kinda was. Eheh,” she admitted with a nervous laugh.
“How flattering,” Applejack observed aloofly. She then nodded to the bowl of batter. “But save yer starin’ for later. Let’s focus on this fer the time bein’, and then later on you can admire mah beauty and compliment me all ya want.”
Dash blinked a few times. Sarcasm or not, Applajck sounded almost as egotistical as her. Awesome. With a crooked grin, the pegasus nodded back in response. “Fair enough. So, what’s next?”
Dash knew the answer the moment she saw the massive grin form on Applejack’s face. And the answer, of course, was apples. Juicy and robust, the vibrant red fruits apparently had to be carved up into slices. After placing several apples on the counter, Applejack had pulled two rather large and rather sharp knives from a nearby drawer. She had set one down on the counter in front of Dash, while keeping the other one in hoof.
“Y’all know how ta use one of these, right?” the farmpony asked warily.
“Eh,” Dash shrugged. “Pointy end goes away from vital organs and limbs. C’mon, it’s not like I’m gonna slice my own head off or something. I know what I’m doing.”
Applejack looked slightly concerned for various reasons, but decided to give her a shot anyway. “Alright, just be careful. And do exactly what Ah do. Now, lookie here.” The orange mare had then shown her how to properly cut and carve the apple into the proper slices they needed. “Ya got that?”
“Awwww yeah,” the pegasus grinned confidently. “I’ve totally got this!”
And after just once slice, it became very apparent that she did not, in fact, “got this.”
“It’s stuck,” Dash deadpanned, glaring down at the apple on the counter in front of it, and the knife jutting out of it.
Applejack snickered. “Sorry, that’s kinda funny. Must have gotten stuck in the core or somethin’.”
With a sigh, Dash placed one hoof firmly on the apple, and used the other to give the knife a small yank. It didn’t budge an inch. Another stronger yank yielded no results. With a low growl, she pulled a few more times on the knife, and still couldn’t pry it loose. As she let out another growl of annoyance, Dash’s wings flared open in frustration, and she gave another mighty pull. Still no luck.
By now, Applejack had taken several steps back, and was standing right behind her friend. “Uh, Dash? Maybe you should-“
“Stupid apple!” the pegasus snarled. Out of desperation, she finally just held up the knife-and-apple combo and gave it a strong swing, in the vain hope that the apple would maybe fly free.
It did.
And it promptly bounced off the wall in front of her, and rocketed right back at Dash’s face. With a loud yelp, the cyan pony crouched low, barely avoiding a brutal impact.
Applejack was not so lucky.
“What the-“ was all the farmpony managed to say before the apple struck her with enough force to knock her down and send her fancy little chef hat airborne.
“Applejack!” Dash yelped, leaping over towards her potentially-wounded friend. “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh! Are you okay?!”
“Ouch…” Applejack grunted from her position on the floor. She was sprawled out face down, with the offending apple idly rolling across the floor past her tail. “Ah’m fine, Ah think.”
“I’m sorry!” Dash yelped, sitting down next to Applejack on the floor. “Here, let me help you up. Oh, that was so stupid of me. Stupid stupid stupid!” she verbally berated herself.
“Dash, it ain’t the first time Ah been hit with an apple. Relax, alright?” Applejack said consolingly as she gingerly sat up. “Ow. Besides, not like ya threw the knife at me or something.”
However, when Applejack sat up and turned to face Dash, the pegasus’ expression became one of stunned horror. One would have thought she had thrown the knife, judging from the look on her face. “Oh jeez…” she whimpered, recoiling slightly. “I’m so totally sorry…”
Applejack stared at Dash for a moment, pondering her reaction to seeing her face. Finally, she sighed, realizing what was wrong. “Ah got a black eye, don’t Ah?” she flatly asked.
Dash gave a small nod. “My bad…” she squeaked.
Rising to her hooves, the farm pony gave another sigh. “Alright, lemme find a mirror and see how bad the damage is…”
Thankfully, the damage turned out to be rather minor. While the area around her left eye was indeed bruised, there was relatively little swelling, and only minor tenderness. “Welp, coulda been a lot worse,” Applejack mused, studying her reflecting in a shiny clean plate Dash was holding up for her. “Should be fine in a couple of days, though.”
“Yeeeeeah, did I mention I was sorry?” Dash asked, averting her gaze. Judging from her expression and the drooping of her wings, she was feeling rather guilt-ridden. As the bearer of the Element of Loyalty, hurting your friends was hypocritical at best. “I mean, I just smoked my best friend in the face with an apple and gave her a black eye. Not exactly something to be proud of…” she grumbled.
The orange farmpony gave a small chuckle and took a step towards Dash. “Aw hush up,” she said with a soft smile. “Ya ain’t gotta feel bad ‘bout nothin’, ya hear? It was an accident. An’ like Ah said, it ain’t like ya threw the knife at me or anythin’ like that. Ah promise, Ah ain’t mad or nothin’, alright?”
Dash let out a small sigh. “You sure?”
“Ah’m positive,” Applejack replied. And to punctuate her statement, she leaned in and lightly nuzzled her face against Dash’s. And then promptly recoiled with a loud proclamation of “Yeowch!”
“Sorry?” the pegasus apologized, slightly recoiling back in confusion.
“Meh, it’s mah own fault for tryin’ to nuzzle ya with a bruised up face,” Applejack winced. However, she somehow managed to smirk through the pain. “Guess Ah didn’t really think that one through, did Ah?”
Dash chuckled, and shoot her head. “No, no you didn’t. Smooth move.”
“Not as smooth as hittin’ mah friend in the face with an apple,” the farmpony retorted with a wink of her good eye.
Dash groaned. “You’re going to hang this over my head forever, aren’t you?”
A smirk and a nod accompanied Applejack’s reply of “Eeeeeyup.”
The pegasus raised a hoof to cradle her face, and shook her head in exasperation. “Great. Now I have that to look forward to for all of eternity. Well, I don’t suppose there’s any way I can make this up to you, is there?” the Dash asked with a sheepish smile.
Applejack shrugged. “Yeah. Don’t do it again. ‘Side from that, though, Ah can’t think of too much. Well except fer hugs, of course.” Dash automatically took a step forward, but the earth pony raised a hoof to halt her. “Not right now, silly. Didja forget about Apple Bloom?”
Dash rolled her eyes, and blew a rainbow lock of her mane out of her eyes in a gesture of annoyance. “Yeah, yeah, I know. What if I’m all stealthy and stuff? Y’know, like a ninja hug or something?”
The blonde mare chuckled heartily at the prospect of ninja hugs. “As amusin’ as the idea sounds, Ah think we should play it safe fer now. No ‘PDA’ as ya called it, at least not until we’re a hun’erd percent sure we ain’t gonna get busted.”
“If you say so,” Dash huffed. A few seconds later, a small look of horror flashed across her face. “Hey, uh, what are you gonna tell the rest of your family? Because if Big Mac finds out I gave you a black eye, accident or not, he’s totally gonna kill me.”
Applejack snorted. “Oh come on. Big Mac ain’t gonna- Okay, yeah, he would totally kill you,” the farmpony stated with deadly seriousness. She knew her brother, and she knew how overprotective he could be. “Uh, we’ll just have to make something up, or, uh, something.”
The pegasus stared in bewilderment for a moment. “Make something up? Applejack, you can’t lie to save your life!”
“Ah can too lie to save mah life!” Applejack replied indignantly. She then smiled sheepishly and added: “Though that’s about the only situation where Ah’m any good at it.”
Dash sat down and let out a frustrated sigh. “Great. Your big brother is gonna buck my teeth in for hurting his darling little sister. And we can’t come up with a convincing cover story to prevent it. Fantastic. Fan-freaking-tastic.”
Applejack frowned. “Well, hang on. Ah think we might have an option or two.”
“Like what?” Dash raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I could run to the store and buy a mouth-guard, but you can’t really wear one of those to a family dinner. Not being able to chew defeats the purpose of being there!”
Applejack couldn’t help but giggle at the silliness of that idea. “No, darlin’, Ah was thinkin’ much simpler. Ah can just wear mah hat crooked, so it hangs down over mah eye. An’ if anybody actually finds out ‘bout mah eye… we just omit.”
“Omit?”
“Omit. We say Ah got hit in the face by an apple in a freak accident, an’ leave it at that. Technically ain’t a lie.”
“Huh,” Dash nodded thoughtfully. “Yeah, that might work. It’s not like they have any reason to be suspicious or anything.”
“Exactly,” the blonde earth pony grinned. She then trotted across the room, picked up her chef hat, and placed it back atop her head. “Now, how ‘bout we finish up these fritters? Ah’ll handle the cutting, an’ then you can do the frying. That won’t take too long, an’ it ain’t hard. After that, we’re done.”
“Awesome!” Dash exclaimed with a grin. “Well, I’m ready whenever you are.”
“Alright. Lemme just cut up these apples…”
In a perfect world, the rest of the cooking lesson would have gone well. And for awhile, it did. The cutting of the apples went well, with no further hitches. Applejack then showed Dash how to properly batter the apple slices, and place them in the skillet of hot oil to fry them. She showed her how long to cook them, how to properly flip them with the spatula, and how to take them out and put them on paper towels to dry.
But today was just not Dash’s day. It was almost as if Discord himself had smiled upon this day, and blessed it with his own zany brand of chaotic misfortune. Dash seemed to know what she was doing, and while the first few fritters came out as little charred and crispy culinary abominations, she quickly caught on and soon got into the swing of things. Her next few fritters looked much better, and before long, there were about a dozen fully done fritters sitting on the counter.
The fritters looked pretty, and they certainly smelled pretty. But unfortunately, when the two mares decided to sample Dash’s work, they discovered that they did not, in fact, taste pretty.
“Er… I did something wrong, didn’t I?” Dash asked, studying the half-eaten fritter held in her hoof. “Is the apple supposed to be chewy? And the batter still mushy on the inside? And is supposed to be so oily?”
Applejack studied her own half-eaten fritter, chewing thoughtfully. After swallowing and grimacing slightly, the orange pony looked over at her friend and gave her a soft, kind smile. “Dash… darlin’…” she said, raising a hoof to rest on her friend’s shoulder. “Ah’m gonna be totally, a hun’erd percent honest with ya right now. Ah have… absolutely no idea whatcha did wrong this time,” she sighed.
The cyan pegasus tossed her inedible creation over her shoulders, then fell over on her right side, sprawling herself out on the floor. “I give up…” she grunted with a half-hearted flail of her left arm and left wing. “I just give up. Maybe I’m cursed or something, like in Daring Do and the Crystal Cauldron. Only it’s Rainbow Dash and the Fiendish Fritter. That’s my legacy. Cursed baked goods. Yaaaay.”
“Ah’m sorry, Dash…” Applejack sighed, her shoulders slumping. “Ah probably should have suggested an easier dish.”
Dash rolled over on her back and stared at the ceiling. “Meh. Fritters were my idea, remember? I just can’t believe how badly I keep screwing this up. I never screw anything up!” she exclaimed. Applejack opened her mouth to say something, but Dash cut her off. “Okay yeah, I know I screw up some things occasionally. But still, how am I so bad at this? Why can’t I cook?!”
“Ah’m sure it’s just a spot of bad luck, nothin’ too bad,” the earth pony shrugged. “We can come back to fritters some other time, though. Ah’ll give you a few lessons on simpler meals first. Maybe muffins next time.”
“You still want to give me lessons?” Dash grumbled. “Seriously, how many of your ingredients have we wasted so far?”
“Eh, no biggie,” Applejack replied with a roll of her eyes. “We’ll need to go get some more at the store before the next lesson, but that ain’t a problem. Heck, we could even call it a date if we wanted to.”
“Heh. A date to the supermarket. How romantic,” Dash playfully replied. She then added: “That’s not a ‘no’ to the supermarket date, by the way. Just making a joke.”
“Yeah, yeah, Ah hear ya,” the earth pony grinned. “Anyhoo, somepony needs to finish the rest of these fritters. Want me to do the rest of ‘em?”
“Well, that depends. Do you want to have edible apple fritters at this fancy dinner of yours?” Dash snarked jokingly.
“Point,” Applejack nodded. “Alrighty, Ah’ll do the rest. You just sit back, relax, an’ watch how it’s done,” she said confidently. A smirk then formed on her face. “An’ feel free to admire me again if ya get bored. It’s kinda flatterin’,” she playfully informed the pegasus, who promptly started blushing again.
Just as with the mixing of the batter, Applejack promptly proved that she was an expert of her craft. With deft ease, she perfectly fried each fritter and set it aside to dry and cool off. Once again, Dash felt a pang of jealous envy. Why had she failed so miserably, especially when Applejack made it look so easy? Without breaking a sweat, the earth pony made fritter after fritter, each one cooked to an alluring shade of golden brown, smelling of baked deliciousness. Dash didn’t know whether to be frustrated or impressed.
And once again, the pegasus’ eyes began to wander after watching for a while. Her gaze traced a familiar path up the chef’s arms, before finally focusing on the orange mare’s face. Adorable freckles, gorgeous eyes, beautiful blonde hair… Dash found herself once again staring in admiration, and at one point Applejack cast a sideways glance in her direction. The knowing smirk she’d flashed at Dash before returning her attention to her cooking had caused the pegasus’ cheeks to burn and her heart to flutter.
And then her gaze began to drift again, tracing a path down Applejack’s ponytailed mane to the gentle curve of her shoulders. There her eyes chose to linger, and she couldn’t help but notice and admire the well-toned muscles of her friend’s shoulders and forelegs, especially when each deft movement caused said muscles to faintly flex and ripple beneath her orange fur. It was an impressive sight, to say the least.
Dash’s eyes once again began to wander, slowly drifting further along Applejack’s body as she finished up the last batch of fritters. She couldn’t help be notice and appreciate the farmpony’s build and figure. She was slightly more robust and muscular than Dash, and less lean and lithe than her. However, she wasn’t exactly stout or stocky, and her frame still possessed some curvature to it. Which all suited Dash just fine. She much preferred athletic builds over dainty, petite figures.
Finally, her gaze fell upon Applejack’s cutie mark, and the flank it was emblazoned upon. Dash felt a bit of heat rise to her face. She had to admit… Applejack had a nice flank.
And it was at exactly that moment that the back door flew open and Apple Bloom came striding merrily into the room.
“Howdy Applejack! Hey there Rainbow Dash!” she cheerfully greeted them. “Y’all still cookin’? Smells delicious!” she exclaimed. However, a small look of confusion quickly appeared on her face. “Hey Sis, why’s Rainbow Dash starin’ at yer cutie mark with a goofy look on her face?” she asked with genuine confusion and the innocent naivety that only an ignorant young foal could be capable of.
Applejack immediately looked in the opposite direction, so that Apple Bloom wouldn’t see her black eye. “Uh, she, uh,” she stammered nervously, cheeks brightly burning red with embarrassment. “She was just-“
“I was just admiring her cutie mark!” Dash suddenly proclaimed. “It’s totally awesome, the way it’s all, uh… what’s that word… uh… symmetrical! It’s symmetrical! All evenly arranged and stuff! Yeah. That.” She then gave the little yellow filly an indignant glare. “And I did not have a goofy look on my face!”
“Yeah ya did,” Apple Bloom deadpanned. She then tilted her head to the side curiously. “So, when Ah get mah cutie mark, will folks want to stare at it an’ admire its cemetery and stuff too? Is that like a compliment or somethin’?”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack both exchanged horrified glances. “Uhhhh, I, uh… “ Dash faltered, a surge of panic rising within her. This was just getting worse and worse. “It’s kinda, uh, like-“
“Or does it just depend on the design of mah cutie mark an’ stuff?” the young pony asked.
“Yes!” both mares proclaimed in unison.
“And we’ll explain it to you when you get your cutie mark!” Applejack told her in a more-frantic-than-intended tone.
“Yeah, no sense in wasting your time with an explanation you might not need, right?” Dash asked with a nervous smile, shrugging her shoulders and wings in unison. “Let’s just worry about it later.”
Apple Bloom stared for a moment, before smiling obliviously. “Alrighty! Ah’ll let y’all get back to cookin’ then, Ah guess.”
“Actually, Ah think we’re about done…” Applejack observed, tossing the last fritter in the skillet without even looking, on the off chance that Apple Bloom would glimpse her injury. She then lowered her voice and frantically whispered to Dash: “Gimme mah hat real quick!”
Applejack’s signature hat was sitting on the table in the middle of the kitchen. In one fluid movement, Dash extended her right wing, slid it under the hat, and lifted it off the table. She then brought her wing around with the hat resting right on the wing-tip, and offered it to Applejack. “Here ya go.”
“Ya know, Ah’m almost jealous of them dern wings of yers,” Applejack observed as she hastily switched hats. “Almost.”
“Is that a hint of jealousy I hear?” the pegasus purred playfully.
“Shut up,” Applejack glowered as she yanked the brim of her hat down over her bruised eye, before finally turning to look down at the frying fritter. And just in time, too, as it would have burned if left unflipped any longer.
“Hey Sis, why ya wearin’ yer hat all funny like that?” Apple Bloom asked almost instantly.
Before Applejack could react, Dash leapt between her and Apple Bloom. “Rarity suggested it! She said it would make her look all dashing and roguish.” The pegasus paused for a moment. Where had she heard that description before? Oh yeah, Daring Do books. “Yeah, and, uh, she decided to go ahead and give it a try, and let me decide how it looks. Y’know, since I know so much about things that look cool and awesome. And I think it looks cool and awesome, so she’s going to be wearing it like that for a few days, maybe longer. Isn’t that right, Applejack? Say yes, Applejack,” she hissed.
“Uh,” Applejack took a step back, completely dumbfounded by Dash’s off-the-wall excuse. “Yes?”
“See!” Dash grinned. “She said yes. Awesome fashion statement, and nothing more. That’s our story and we’re sticking with it!”
Apple Bloom stared. After a moment, she raised an eyebrow. “Dashing and roguish?”
“Fashion terms, look ‘em up,” the pegasus retorted factually. “Anyway, let’s ask Applejack how those fritters are coming along? Applejack, how are those fritters coming along?”
As if on cue, Applejack flipped the last fritter through the air and on top of the pile of finished pastries. “Fritters are done!” she cheerfully replied. “An’ Granny should be home soon to prepare the rest of the dinner.”
“Awesome,” Dash grinned. She then began to trot towards the counter, and the massive stack of cooling fritters. “Let’s grab a few and-“
Applejack suddenly stepped in front of her, her face stern and serious, and leveled the spatula with Dash’s nose. “Not so fast, Sugarcube. These are for the dinner, remember?”
“Awwww, come onnnnnnn,” the cyan mare lamented, raising her hooves plaintively. “After all that trouble?”
“Sorry, darlin’, ya gotta wait like everypony else,” Applejack explained sternly. “Granny would tan mah hide if we filled up on fritters before dinner.”
“Urgh,” Dash grunted in annoyance. “Alriiiiiiiight. When’s dinner?”
“No idea,” the orange earth pony replied. “Whenever Granny finishes putting it together. An’ like Ah said, she should be home soon to get everythin’ started.”
Dash raised an eyebrow. “Wait, are we going to help her?”
Apple Bloom and Applejack both giggled in unison, apparently laughing at something only they knew. “No way,” the older sister said with a shake of her head. “When Granny is makin’ a big fancy dinner for somepony, she refuses to let them participate. She wants it to be somethin’ they can completely enjoy, without havin’ to worry ‘bout helpin’ with it. And since it’s a family dinner, she wants to pour all her love and focus into it on her own, so the rest of us can sit back an’ enjoy it.”
“That makes sense, I guess,” Dash mused. “But, won’t it take her a long time to do everything herself?”
Again, both siblings giggled. “You don’t know Granny all that well, do ya?” Apple Bloom snickered.
“Yeah, she’s full of surprises,” Applejack smirked. “It don’t make no sense, the way she’s able to get so much cookin’ done so quickly.”
“Ah think she knows some secret cookin’ magic or something,” Apple Bloom whispered suspiciously. “Like some sorta dark baking sorcery and stuff.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash both looked down at the filly and stared. “No, uh, Ah think she’s just a reeeeeeally good cook,” Applejack murmured. She then looked back over to Dash and smiled. “So, ya wanna go for a trot ‘round the orchard or somethin’ while we wait? Apple Bloom, why don’t you go see if Big Mac needs some help with his chores, or if he needs ya to bring him some lemonade.”
“Sure thing,” Apple Bloom replied with a smile, before scurrying out the back door.
“Yeah, sure, sounds cool. Lead the way,” Dash grinned.
With a smile and a nod, Applejack began to trot towards the back door. However, as she neared the doorway, she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. She quickly whirled around, and pointed an accusatory hoof. “Stop right there!”
Dash froze, her face inches from the pile of steaming apple fritters, her jaw practically unhinged. “Uuuuuuh… I can explain?” the pegasus said with an innocent grin. Applejack’s glare was unwavering. “Alriiiiight, alriiiiiiight…” she sighed, before trotting over to the back door to join her friend. “But when dinner comes around, I call first dibs.”
“Excuse me? Have ya seen mah face, an’ whatcha did to it?” the country mare asked with a coy smirk.
“Okaaaaay, you get first dibs,” Dash huffed. “But I call second dibs!”
“Fair enough. Now, let’s get a move on before Apple Bloom comes back an’ we get into another awkward discussion of some sort.”
Applejack did not like or appreciate being poked in the ribs. Especially when she was sleeping. So naturally, when she felt something jabbing her in the side of her chest, her first instinct was to grunt and lash out with one of her forehooves. And almost immediately, she felt her hoof strike the furry hide of another pony in very close proximity.
“Yeowch!” a familiar, raspy voice yelped in response. “The hay was that for?!”
Applejack forced her eyes open, but her vision was blurry from having just woken up. “Bwuh?” she asked blearily, shaking her head and blinking her eyes in an attempt to clear her vision. “Rainbow Dash? That you? What’s goin’ on?” she groggily inquired.
“I poked you to wake you up. You poked back. Hard,” the blue blur beside her replied back in a flat, unamused tone. “Better be glad you hit my shoulder, and not my wing.”
“Sorry…” the earth pony apologized, before pausing to yawn and rub at her eyes. “Wait, why was Ah asleep?” she grumbled.
“You were really tired after our late night of hot and spicy lovemaking, so I let you sleep in,” Dash cheerfully replied. “You were awesome, by the way.”
At this point, Applejack’s eyes opened widely, her pupils shrank, and her entire face – as well as much of her fur – turned the same color red as her cutie mark. “We-did-wut-now-wut?” she quietly babbled. Her mind was quickly overwhelmed with panic and confusion, and her heart began to hammer nervously in her chest. “Do-wut-now-huh?”
Her bewildered response was instantly met by raucous laughter from Rainbow Dash. As the earth pony’s vision finally came into focus, she could now clearly see her azure friend sprawled out on the grass beside her, rolling around as she laughed hysterically. “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist!” Dash managed to apologize while gasping for air. Wiping tears of mirth from her eyes, she sat up and grinned at the mortified earth pony. “Nah, we’re in the orchard. You took a nap.”
Applejack looked around. Sure enough, they were out in the orchard, sitting underneath an apple tree. The sun was setting, painting the cloudy skies above them a beautiful mixture of orange, crimson, and purple hues. “A nap, huh?” Applejack asked, gazing up at the colorful sunset as her heart and mind settled down. “How long was Ah out?”
“Not too long,” Dash said with a shrug of her wings. “You were kinda tired, so we sat down for a bit. You nodded off, and I figured you probably needed the rest.”
“Aw, nice to know you care ‘bout mah well-being,” Applejack replied with a playful smirk. Though her tone was joking, there was some sincerity in her words.
Dash waved her right wing in a dismissive gesture, and turned her nose up indignantly. “Well excuuuuuse me for trying to be a good special somepony,” she huffed, though it was obvious from her tone and the look in her eyes that she was just playing around as well.
The two mares quickly burst into a small bout of giggles, finding amusement in their mutual silliness. Once they’d finished laughing, Applejack raised a curious eyebrow. “So, what’d ya wake me up for?”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to answer. However, before she could say anything, a loud dinner bell began to ring from somewhere across the orchard, and Granny Smith’s voice echoed out across the farm. “Ah ain’t gonna say it again! Dinner’s just ‘bout ready!”
“Oh mah gawsh!” Applejack yelped in horror, staggering to her hooves in panic. “Why didn’t ya say dinner was ready?!”
Dash gave another shrug of her wings. “I was getting there,” she replied flippantly.
The orange mare fixed her with a steely glare. “No time for bein’ dawdling around, Sugarcube. When Granny says it’s dinner time, it’s dinner time. We gotta get back to the house, now.” And with that, she broke into an all-out gallop back towards the farmstead.
There were only a few things which piqued Rainbow Dash’s interest very easily. The idea of getting from Point A to Point B very quickly was one of those things. Grinning confidently, the pegasus flexed her wings and sank into a ready-to-go stance. “Challenge accepted.”
With a streak of prismatic awesomeness, the rainbow-maned tomboy took flight. Applejack looked back over her shoulder, and grinned at her airborne friend. “Ah may be a bit sleep deprived, but Ah can still whoop ya, Rainbow Dash!” the earth pony bragged.
“Yeah, well,” Dash grinned wickedly, “At least the view is nice.”
Applejack’s concentration shattered. “Hey!” she yelped, looking back over her shoulders with an indignant expression and vibrant red cheeks. “Ah… uh… Ah totally don’t know how to respond to that, actually,” she sputtered in bewilderment, unsure of whether she should be offended or flattered by Dash staring at her rump. And in her confused state, her focus was off the race, and her galloping speed dramatically decreased.
“I think you shouldn’t let yourself get distracted so easily! Aw yeah!” the pegasus whooped victoriously as she zipped past the farmpony.
“H-hey!” Applejack stammered. “That’s not fair! You did that on purpose!”
“That doesn’t mean it was a lie, though!” Dash retorted. Once again, Applejack’s steady stride took a hit as her mind went from racing mode to distracted and over-analyzing mode. Dash looked back over her shoulder, took one look at the earth pony’s blushing and bewildered face, and immediately began to laugh.
“Fine, fine, laugh all ya want,” Applejack huffed, before grinning wickedly. “Though who’s got the great view now, huh?”
“Go ahead, stare all ya want. I don’t mind being ogled by you,” Dash replied with a smirk. “Especially if it means I get to win a race.”
“Galdurnit,” the orange mare deadpanned. Oh well. As much as she hated losing, she couldn’t complain too much – the view really was nice. From her spot in second place, she could clearly see Dash’s toned back and shoulder muscles flexing taut with every powerful beat of her wings. And she was practically mesmerized by the wind sweeping through her friend’s chromatic mane and tail, causing them to flutter and flow wildly. The latter also served to draw Applejack's attention towards a set of very firm and shapely haunches.
Applejack grinned. Yeah, losing this race was something she could very easily live with.
A few minutes of later, the two mares arrived at the farmhouse, both slightly panting and red-faced from the effort. Dash arrived first, with Applejack trailing just behind her. And just before stepping inside, Applejack paused to pull the brim of her hat down over her bruised eye. Which turned out to be a very wise decision, as the moment she stepped through the back door, she was accosted by her grandmother.
“Well it’s about time!” Granny Smith said with more than a little irritation as she stepped in front of the two friends. “Ah already caller fer ya once. What took ya so long? Know what, nevermind, not important. Just wash up an’ get ready fer dinner.” The old mare then smiled, all of her irritation seemingly evaporating. “Ah hope y’all enjoy everythin’ Ah fixed up fer ya,” she said kindly.
Dash and Applejack both leaned sideways to look past Granny Smith. The kitchen table, which had been completely bare when they left for their little trek, was now completely set with a tablecloth, plates, cutlery, and food. Lots and lots of food. Both pony’s mouths instantly began to water at the sight of everything before them, with included sweet potato casserole, fried okra, fresh-baked buttery bread rolls, corn on the cob, cut green beans, fresh garden salad, baked potatoes, and various other vegetarian food items.
“Wow,” Dash said, amazed at the sight in front of her. “Granny Smith, you did this all by yourself?”
“With all sorts of help?” the elderly mare tilted her head to the side in confusion. “No, darlin’, Ah did it all by myself! Wadn’t nothin’ to it, though. Been cookin’ all mah life.” Apple Bloom, who was already seated at the table with Big Mac, gave Dash a knowing stare. “Now, y’all wash up an’ get ready.”
Dash and Applejack nodded, and quickly scurried over to the kitchen sink, where they washed off their hooves. After drying them off with some paper towels, they quickly took their seats at the table. Granny Smith sat at the head of the table, while Applejack and Dash sat on one side, with Big Mac and Apple Bloom seated on the opposite side. “Thanks for inviting me over for dinner, Granny Smith,” Dash said with a grin. “This all looks so awesome!”
“Glad ya think so,” Granny Smith replied kindly. “We can all dig in, just as soon as Applejack takes off her hat.”
Time froze.
“Do wut?” Applejack quietly asked, her blood running cold. “Why do Ah gotta do that? Y’all never make me take mah hat off.”
“Yesss, but we never have special guests,” Granny Smith replied with a forced smile. Her eyes burned with the dangerous, non-verbal warning of “DO NOT ARGUE WITH ME, MISSY,” that only parents, grandparents, and Fluttershy were flawlessly capable of.
“Oh, I don’t care,” Dash interjected with a nervous smile. “She can wear her hat. I totally don’t care. Really. Don’t care!”
“You totally don’t stare?” Granny Smith asked, having misheard Dash again. “Well that’s good ta hear. Starin’ is rude, after all,” she said while waving a hoof dismissively at the pegasus. “Now then, Applejack. Yer hat?”
Applejack knew arguing would just make things worse. With a sigh, she removed her hat, and placed it on the back of her chair. The moment her black eye became visible, her entire family reacted. Granny Smith’s expression became one of concern, while Apple Bloom looked rather confused. Big Macintosh visibly tensed up, and narrowed his eyes at Rainbow Dash; Dash noticed this, and tried to put on an innocent smile.
“Now Applejack, what happened to yer face?” Granny Smith asked, her voice tinged with worry.
“Ah got hit with an apple,” Applejack replied casually, trying not to end the conversation as quickly as possible. “Just an accident. No reason to worry.”
“An accident?” Apple Bloom asked.
Rainbow Dash noticed that while Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were focused on Applejack, Big Macintosh was still staring at her. In fact, while everypony else’s attention was elsewhere, he raised a hoof to his eyes, then pointed it at her. Dash swallowed nervously. Great, an angry over-protective big brother was now going to be watching her like a hawk. That’s totally how she wanted this fancy family dinner to start out.
“Yeah, totally freak accident. Didn’t see it coming,” Applejack explained flatly. She wasn’t lying; she was just leaving out most of the details. “No pun intended.”
“Well Ah would hope there was no fun intended. Not sure how Ah’d feel if my grandbaby was one of them gals who likes getting’ hurt fer kicks. Masks-of-kicks or whatever ya call ‘em. Anyhoo, do ya need some ice or somethin’ fer it?” Granny Smith offered.
“Nah,” Applejack shook her head, choosing to ignore the implication that she was a masochist. “It’s fine. Don’t hurt at all. It’s just a tiny bit tender.”
Granny Smith frowned. “Are ya sure, darlin’? Ah know a herbal remedy that may work. Just need some egg yolk, some cayenne pepper, and some dog fur.”
Applejack’s good eye twitched slightly at the thought of having to either drink such a concoction, or smear it on her bruised face. Thankfully, Dash jumped in to help her out. “C’mon, she’s Applejack! It’ll take more than an apple to the face to slow her down! She’s totally fine!” the cyan pegasus proclaimed proudly, trying to ignore the continuing stare from the large red stallion sitting across the table from her. However, Big Mac quickly softened his gaze when Applejack finally took notice and shot her own harsh, warning glare at her brother. “So, how ‘bout that dinner?”
“Yer right, Applejack certainly is a winner. Ah’m glad ta see you have such a high opinion of her,” Granny Smith grinned. “Well, enough dilly-dallying. Everybody dig in!”
Everyone nodded in agreement, and quickly dove into the feast before them. Aside from asking or offering to pass certain dishes around the table, there wasn’t much conversation while everyone filled their plates and started eating. However, once the meal was properly under way, the long-dreaded interrogation began.
“So, Rainbow Dash,” Granny Smith said with a polite smile as she scooped some sweet potato casserole onto her plate, “Why don’t you tell us more about yerself?”
Rainbow Dash looked up from her meal and gave an idle, unified shrug of her wings and shoulders. “Eh, there’s really not much you don’t already know. I’m a pegasus from Clousdale, I’m leader of the Ponyville Weather Patrol, I’m the bearer of the Element of Loyalty, and I’m Applejack’s best friend,” she factually replied.
Granny Smith worked her jaw thoughtfully. “Hm. Loyalty, eh? That’s promising.”
Dash smiled innocently, trying not to betray the rising sense of nervousness she felt. So this was it. This was how the scrutiny and over-analysis of her would begin, and how her quality as Applejack’s special somepony would be analyzed. Oh well, at least the food was good.
Sure enough, Granny had many more questions for Dash. How long she’d lived in Ponyville, how long she’d worked on the Weather Patrol, where she went to school, how she met Applejack, how long they’d been friends, what her favorite color was, whether she had any pets, and various other mundane and normal inquiries. Dash managed to give satisfactory answers to all of them, though she had to repeat herself several times because of Granny’s hearing problems. Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Big Mac (who eventually became more receptive towards Dash as the conversation progressed, and after Applejack shot him a few warning glances for good measure) would occasionally join into the discussion, or add an amusing joke or snarky comment.
The dinner seemed to be going rather well, overall. Everyone was getting along well, the discussion had not led to any awkward or tense moments, and best of all, the food was delicious. Halfway through the meal, Granny paused in her question asking to let Dash actually have a moment to enjoy her food. Eventually, though, the old mare cheerfully resumed her inquisition. And she did so by throwing the pegasus quite a curveball. “So, Rainbow Dash, what sorta aspirations and goals have ya got in mind?”
Dash grinned confidently. “Oh, well I totally want to-“ she was cut off by somepony kicking her in the shin. Looking over to her right, she saw Applejack giving her a warning look. Apparently, “I want to be a Wonderbolt!” was not what Granny needed to hear. Unfortunately, Dash didn’t really know what else there was to say. While dreaming of being a Wonderbolt was probably too lofty and unrealistic of a goal to tell Granny Smith, she couldn’t think of something else off the top of her head. Besides, anything else seemed too lowly, unproductive, and simply not awesome. She needed to think of something interesting, professional, and truly worthy of respect. But what?
And then it hit her.
“I want to be an archeologist!” Dash proudly proclaimed.
“An archaeopteryx?” Granny Smith blinked in confusion.
“No, an archeologist,” Dash corrected her with an excited grin. “You know, like someone who studies history and ancient cultures, explores old ruins, digs up buried treasure, writes books and teaches classes, and other stuff. Some prefer to work in the field, while others get jobs as professors at big schools. Some even do both!” she said, practically squealing. Apparently the prospect of being an archeologist was something that might have actually interested her, if she stopped and thought about it.
Apple Bloom’s eyes widened. “Coooooool!”
“Huh. Well, Ah dunno ‘bout diggin’ around in the dirt and stuff, but bein’ a professor is certainly somethin’ fancy and worthy of respect,” Granny Smith mused.
“Eeyup,” Big Mac nodded in agreement.
Applejack simply stared at Rainbow Dash in disbelief. Had she really just proclaimed her life’s aspiration was to essentially be Daring Do? Perhaps she should have just let her say “The Wonderbolts” and left it at that.
“So how long has that been yer goal?” Granny Smith asked.
“Oh, y’know,” Dash waved a hoof dismissively, “Awhile.” And by awhile, she meant thirty seconds. It wasn’t her fault the meaning of the word “awhile” was subjective.
“And how long is awhile?”
Dash blinked a few times, feeling a spike of nervousness rising within her. “Oh, uh, y’know, it’s-“
“Doesn’t matter how long it’s been,” Applejack suddenly interjected with a cheerful smile. “What matters is that she has a goal and stuff, and ain’t lazy or unrealistic ‘bout what she wants to do. Am Ah right?” she said, turning to smirk knowingly at Dash.
“Yeah. That. Totally that,” Dash deadpanned.
“Yeah, that’s a good point,” Granny Smith said with a smile. “Well, Ah hope it all works out for ya in the long run. Too many ponies these days ain’t realistic ‘bout what they wanna do with their lives. They wanna be a fancy model, join the Wonderbolts, marry a Prince, or somethin’ like that,” the old mare shook her head, chuckling softly.
Dash swallowed nervously. Great, her real dreams would be considered immature and unrealistic. Good thing she wasn’t the Element of Honesty. “Yeah,” Dash grinned nervously. “That’d just be silly.”
Grand Inquisitor Granny Smith still had more questions, though. “So Rainbow Dash, what about your family?”
A look of worry flickered across Applejack’s features. She automatically realized that the answer to this question was one Granny definitely wouldn’t like, and was horrified that she hadn’t thought to warn Dash about it earlier. “What about my family?” Dash asked, a hint of wariness to her voice and her expression.
“Well, tell us about them. What do they do? What are they like? Any siblings?”
“Eh. Not much to tell. Dad’s retired. Mom still works in the Department of Meteorological Services, and I’m an only child,” Dash stated in an almost offhanded manner. “And my parents are pretty cool, I guess,” she shrugged.
Apple Bloom and Big Mac exchanged quizzical glances. Applejack looked uncomfortable. Granny Smith simply frowned. “Well, do they ever come to visit? Or you go visit them?”
“No ma’am,” the blue pegasus replied politely, idly poking at her mashed potatoes. “We don’t really visit each other, or talk all that much.”
“You don’t chalk a bunch?”
“They don’t talk that much, Granny,” Apple Bloom repeated.
“Oh. Well why not?” Granny Smith asked in a somewhat curt manner.
“Huh?” Dash looked up from her plate, slightly caught off guard by the elderly mare’s tone of voice. “Why not what?”
“Why don’t ya talk much? Ain’t ya close?” Granny asked, narrowing her eyes.
“Close? Uh…” Dash blinked. “I mean, yeah, we’re close. We’re just not… like… close close, like some families are.”
“Well, why not?” Granny asked. There was no missing the disapproval in her voice.
Rainbow Dash swallowed nervously. Somehow, she’d inadvertently walked into a social minefield. Somehow, she naively hadn’t realized that Granny Smith and most of the Apple Clan, who prided themselves for their close familial bonds, would not understand or approve of such loose and aloof family dynamics. “I, uh… I… we…” the pegasus stammered, her mind racing as she frantically tried to come up with a response that wouldn’t make things worse.
“Ah think that maybe it’s just a pegasus thing,” Applejack suddenly interjected with a sheepish smile. “Ya know how birds throw their young’uns out of the nest, an’ then they fly off to do their own thing? Ah wouldn’t be surprised if’n that’s how pegasi families an’ stuff work, since they’ve got that avian nature about ‘em. It ain’t nothin’ wrong with Dash an’ her family, really. It’s probably just, y’know, how they’re supposed to be or somethin’.”
“Uh, yeah,” Dash smiled nervously. “Pegasus thing. That sounds about right.”
Granny Smith kept her eyes narrow, maintaining her scrutinizing stare at the blue pegasus. Eventually, though, she gave a small shrug. “Ah suppose that makes sense. It’s just kinda weird meetin’ somepony who ain’t got the same attitude ‘bout family like we have. I woulda thought somepony who’s supposed to be Loyalty incarnate or somethin’ like that would have stronger family ties an’ whatnot.”
Applejack frowned. “Now Granny, that ain’t exactly fair,” she said indignantly.
“No, no,” Dash smiled softly, despite the unsettling feelings Granny Smith words had caused in her gut. “I totally get what she’s saying. I get that it’s weird. But like AJ said, it’s just a weird-o pegasus thing,” she lied. She also made a mental note to write a letter to her parents as soon as possible, and maybe see about arranging a visit at some point. “Anyway, got any more questions?” She hoped the answer was yes, so they could change subjects and move on quickly.
Naturally, the answer to her question was yes, and with that answer came more questions. Favorite food, favorite animal, opinions about current events in Ponyville and Equestria abroad, whether that was her mane and tail’s natural color, whether she’d ever had a special somepony before, and a variety of other random and sometimes nosy things. Rainbow Dash, though, had no problems answering any of her inquiries. Truth be told, she was enjoying being the center of attention, even if there was under scrutiny for it.
Overall, things seemed to be going great. Everyone appeared to be having fun and enjoying the meal, and Dash had managed to avoid doing anything that would cause any sort of problems. Or at least, so she thought. But it turned out she was wrong.
Unlike all the other ponies at the table, Dash was a pegasus. And unlike every other pony at the table, Dash was using her wings to assist her at the table. Moving bowls and plates closer or further from her, lifting items off the table to pass them to somepony else, and other small and subtle movements and nuances that were second-nature to her, but extremely out of place at a dinner table full of earth ponies. This behavior, of course, was totally normal for a pegasus, especially one such as Dash who possessed expert mastery and control of their feathered limbs.
Unfortunately, nopony ever bothered to tell Dash that using your wings at a table full of non-pegasi was considered bad table manners, and even rude in some circles.
Naturally, Dash was oblivious to the looks she was starting to get, especially after slipping her left wingtip under the platter of dinner rolls and passing it over to Applejack. After that expression of avian dexterity, all eyes were upon her. Apple Bloom was watching with rapt attention, finding Dash’s wing manipulation to be cool and fascinating. Big Mac was giving her a dubious look, wondering if she knew the error of etiquette she was making. Granny Smith looked particularly irate, and was giving Dash a very disapproving glare.
Applejack, though, was staring as if spellbound, her eyes transfixed upon the feathery blue wings.
It wasn’t as if she’d never seen Dash use her wings before. She’d seen her use them for everything from flying to pushups before, and had quite enjoyed observing the mechanics of pegasus flight during their race earlier. But she’d never actually taken the time to study and observe them so closely and in such detail, nor had she had such an opportunity to see just how talented Dash was with them. Not to mention the fact that she’d always seen them from the perspective of a friend, not as an admirer and Dash’s special somepony.
And it was now undeniable that Dash’s wings had a certain exotic and strangely alluring quality to them, which left Applejack rather mesmerized. Her eyes ran up and down the length of the wings, analyzing every detail of the limbs. The spacing of the joints, the range of motion, the manner of how they folded and extended. The feathers were also of great interest. There were actually multiple types and layers, which varied in size and density depending on their location. Primaries, secondaries, tertiaries. They were apparently much more complex and intricate than she’d ever thought. For some reason, she just couldn’t tear her eyes and mind away from those blue wings.
Applejack soon found herself pondering what it would be like to be hugged in a tight feathery embrace by both wings, or to have her face lightly caressed gentle azure wingtips.
“Applejack, why ya got that goofy look on yer face?” Apple Bloom suddenly asked, forcefully yanking Applejack back to reality.
“Do what now?” Applejack asked absent-mindedly, before frowning. “Goofy look? Whatcha talkin’ about?”
“You were staring at Dash’s wings,” Apple Bloom replied, pointing at the pegasus’ feathered limbs. “And ya had a goofy look on yer face.”
Rainbow Dash looked over at Applejack and gave her a knowing grin. “Why Applejack, why ever would you be staring at my wings?” she asked with false ignorance.
Applejack blushed. But before she could stammer out a reply, Granny Smith interjected with a rather grouchy answer. “Cuz it’s rude to use ‘em at the table with earth ponies,” she said with a disapproving glare. “It’s bad table manners .”
Rainbow Dash cringed. “Oh jeez. I didn’t know that,” she said apologetically. “I’ll just, uh, stop. Right now. My bad.”
Applejack gave an aloof shrug. “Ah don’t see a problem with it, personally,” she said innocently.
“Because of their semistry?” Apple Bloom asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Huh?” everypony else replied in unison.
“Whatever that fancy word was that Rainbow Dash said earlier, ‘bout when things are evenly arranged or somethin’. Ya had the same look on yer face she had when I saw her admirin’ yer cutie mark,” Apple Bloom observed with oblivious naïveté.
Instantly, Applejack and Rainbow Dash both blushed a dark shade of red. Big Mac leveled a death glare of doom at Rainbow Dash, who sank back into her chair in a vain attempt to put some distance between them in case the hulking stallion decided to vault the table. Granny Smith simply burst into a hearty laugh. “ Looks like my grandbaby takes right after me,” the elderly mare said with a cheerful grin. “Ah remember back when Ah was young, an’ dashin’ stallions from all around ‘admired my cutie mark’ all the time.”
Applejack’s good eye gave a slight twitch. As if this moment were not bad enough, now she had that to think about.
“So, uh, something else,” Dash squeaked with a nervous smile. “Lets, uh, move on to something else.”
“How ‘bout painting?” Apple Bloom asked cheerfully.
“Painting?” Dash raised an eyebrow, momentarily confused.
Applejack’s quickly went from blushing to ghostly pale. She knew exactly where this was going. But before she could do anything to stop it, Apple Bloom had already answered. “Yeah, has Applejack painted you yet?” the little filly curiously asked.
Granny Smith grinned excitedly. “Oh, my darlin’ is an artist? This is news ta me! Applejack, whatcha been paintin’?”
“Uhhh…” Applejack faltered, eyes darting around nervously. “Well, uh, ya see…”
Rainbow Dash quickly put two and two together, since Applejack had mentioned something about Rarity saying she painted mares. Unfortunately, before she could once again jump in and lie for Applejack’s sake, Apple Bloom interrupted with an explanation of her own. “Rarity says she paints mares because she’s a fillyfooler,” the young pony stated matter-of-factly.
Rainbow Dash went pale. Applejack put her hooves over her eyes, wishing she could find a rock to crawl under and hide. “Here it comes…” the orange mare muttered weakly, expecting Granny to outright correct her.
Instead, Granny Smith scowled. “She said what? Was that supposed to be an insult?” she growled. “Is that prissy little fashion-y unicorn talkin’ badly about my grandbaby?” And while Big Mac said nothing, his deep frown and the look of unbridled fury in his eyes seemed to indicate that his overprotective brother instincts were operating at full throttle now.
“Wait, no, no!” Applejack looked up frantically, panicked by the idea of her grandmother and/or brother being angry with Rarity for no good reason.
“No, she said a fillyfooler was just a pony who liked to paint mares,” Apple Bloom explained cheerfully. “Why would that be an insult?”
Granny Smith stared at her for a moment, before letting out an amused laugh. “Oh sweetie, that ain’t what a fillyfooler is!”
“It’s not?”
Big Mac was smart enough to know where this was going. “Oh, you know what? Ah forgot to feed the chickens,” he casually observed, rising from his seat and trotting towards the back door. “Ah’ll be right back.”
“Alright, hurry back,” Granny Smith cheerfully told him as he passed. She then looked back at Apple Bloom and smiled. “Well, Ah didn’t want you worryin’ ‘bout things like that, but Ah hate fer ya to have the wrong ideas. No, darlin’, a fillyfooler is a mare who likes and courts other mares.”
Applejack leaned forward and placed her forehead on the table, doing her best to hide from the world. Rainbow Dash just looked down at her plate and began to poke at her mashed potatoes, which had suddenly become the most fascinating thing in Equestria.
“Oh, okay,” Apple Bloom shrugged, and returned her attention to her own plate.
The dinner table was silent for several long, awkward seconds. Finally, Applejack sat up and stared dubiously at Apple Bloom. “Okay, how long have ya known?” she asked flatly.
Apple Bloom smiled deviously. “Since yesterday afternoon.”
“And what?” Applejack raised the eyebrow of her good eye. “No freaking out? No bad reaction? Nothin’?”
Apple Bloom shrugged. “Ah mean, it’s kinda weird, yeah. But maybe Ah’m just too young to understand it. Besides, ya can’t help likin' who ya like.”
“Smart kid…” Rainbow Dash mused.
“And as long as yer happy, Sis, Ah’m happy. Plus, Rainbow Dash is really cool,” the filly added.
Dash grinned. “Very smart kid.”
“Yeah. That’s a relief ta hear ya say all that…” Applejack sighed. She then frowned. “Hey wait, how’d ya know ‘bout us bein’ together anyway?”
Apple Bloom stared at Applejack with a blank expression for a long moment. She then turned towards Granny Smith and grinned over-enthusiastically. “Thanks fer dinner Granny! May Ah be excused?” Before Granny could say yes, or mention desert, Apple Bloom was already galloping for the door. “Oh no, mah homework!” she proclaimed with false panic. “Ah totally forgot about it! Goodnight y’all!”
And with that, she was gone, leaving just Applejack, Dash, and Granny Smith at the table. “Well, guess ya know what this means,” the elderly green mare suddenly observed aloud.
“What’s that?” Dash asked, genuinely curious. Was there some cryptic Apple Clan ritual she didn’t know about involving the last three people at the table doing some sort of square dance? Wait, no, didn’t you need four people for that? Maybe it was a triangle dance then. Dash had no idea what to expect.
Granny Smith grinned. “More desert fer us!”
“Yeehaw!” Applejack exclaimed, hopping out of her chair. “Want me ta go on ahead an’ grab the fritters?”
“Go right on ahead, darlin’. Ah’m done with my meal. Are you finished, Rainbow Dash?” Granny Smith asked.
“If by finished you mean ready for fritters, then yes,” Dash grinned excitedly. As Applejack grabbed a platter of fritters from the counter and set it on the table, the blue pegasus clopped her hooves together excitedly. “Aw yeah! This is gonna be so awesome!”
And awesome it was. The fritters, as expected, were amazing. Dash, Applejack, and Granny Smith greatly enjoyed their desert, and Big Mac returned shortly thereafter to partake in the baked awesomeness as well. After eating her fill, Granny Smith bid them all good evening, and left to go upstairs – taking a small plate of fritters up for Apple Bloom as she went. Once Big Mac was finished with his meal, he also decided to take his leave, allowing the two love-birds to enjoy the rest of their meal in private.
Once they were alone, Applejack looked over at Dash and smirked. “Well, that coulda gone worse.”
“Mrphmurm,” Dash’s reply was muffled by a mouthful of fritter.
Applejack roller her eyes. “Now darlin’, ain’t nopony ever toldya not ta talk with yer mouth full?” she asked with a playful smile.
Dash finished swallowing her food, and shot a crooked grin back at the earth pony. “Nope, and nopony warned me about the wing thing either.”
The blonde mare smiled sheepishly. “Yeah, uh, sorry. Kinda forgot about that. Mah bad.”
“Eh, don’t sweat it,” Dash replied, giving a dismissive wave with her right hoof and her right wing in unison. “I think everything went pretty good, over all. Aside from your grandma’s opinion of the whole ‘want to be a Wonderbolt’ thing. Hey wait, how does she even know about them anyway?”
Applejack shrugged. “Ah honestly have no idea. Ah’ll ask her ‘bout it later. Anyhoo, you done eatin’?”
Dash patted her stomach and sighed. “Yeah, I think I’ve eaten enough. More than enough. I’m not even sure I can fly like this.”
“Wanna go fer a trot, then?” Applejack asked with a cheerful smile, picking her hat up off the back of her chair and placing it back in its rightful spot atop her head. “After we clean up a bit, of course.”
“Sure!” Dash beamed. “Sounds good to me.”
The two mares quickly began cleaning off the table, setting the dirty dishes on the kitchen counter near the sink. Applejack would clean them when she got back, unless Big Mac was nice enough to do them in her absence. Once the table was clear, Dash and Applejack trotted out the back door, and into the cold night air.
“Dedgum, it got chilly fast…” Applejack observed, absentmindedly taking a step closer towards Rainbow Dash once they were outside.
Dash unfolded her right wing, and draped it over her friend. Applejack responded by inching closer and leaning against Dash, relaxing against the warm pegasus. “Y’know, maybe a walk isn’t such a good idea. I don’t want you to be too cold and get sick or something.”
“Eh,” Applejack shrugged. “It ain’t too bad. Ah’ll be fine, don’t you worry. Actually, hang on a tic. Ah got an idea...”
Before Dash could react, Applejack ducked out from under her wing and started to gallop away. “Hey, wait up!” the pegasus yelped, taking flight after her friend. “Where are you going?”
“You’ll see, just follow close!” the orange mare called back over her shoulder without slowing down. She led Dash in a half-circle around the farmhouse, before disappearing into the barn.
Dash, more than a little curious, gave chase and followed her into the barn. Closing the doors behind her, the pegasus looked around the dark interior of the structure, trying to spot her friend. “AJ? Where’d you go? What are you doing?”
Light suddenly blossomed from one of the corners of the barn. Applejack had lit an oil lantern, and its flickering flame cast a gentle orange glow over the surrounding surfaces. Applejack was almost camouflaged against the now-orange wall behind her – a fact that slightly amused Dash. “Ah’m just sheddin’ a little light on the situation,” Applejack smirked as she cantered back over towards Dash.
“That pun was almost painful,” Dash replied with a smirk of her own.
“Aw hush,” the blonde mare rolled her eyes. “Ah’m funny an’ you know it.”
The two mares shared a giggle, before Dash raised an eyebrow and looked around the inside of the barn. “So, why are we here, exactly?” She then gave Applejack a knowing, mischievous look. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
“What? N-no!” Applejack sputtered, blushing furiously. “Ah just wanted ta talk, honest!”
Rainbow Dash stuck out her lower lip. “Aw, how disappointing,” she pouted in a playful, joking manner.
Applejack grinned wickedly, and took a step forward towards the pegasus. “Well if’n yer disappointed, maybe Ah should try ta fix that. C’mere now, Sugarcube,” she leered.
Now it was Dash’s turn to panic. “Wait, what?!” she yelped, blushing furiously and taking a step back. “Hang on a second!”
Applejack immediately stepped back and began laughing. “Not so funny now, is it?” she asked between chuckles.
“Yeah, yeah, serves me right,” Dash huffed, rolling her eyes. “So what’d you wanna talk about, anyway?”
Applejack shrugged, and sat down on the hay-covered floor. “Nothin’ particular. Just thought you’d like the privacy. This way we can talk ‘bout whatever we want, maybe trade a few hugs, an’ not have ta worry ‘bout anypony botherin’ us. Plus, it’s warmer up in here than it is out in the orchard.”
“Yeah, you’re right. About both of those things,” the blue pegasus mused, settling down on the barn floor beside her friend. “Thanks for inviting me over to dinner, by the way. I really enjoyed it, obvious awkward moments aside.”
“No problem,” Applejack smiled. “Ah’m glad you enjoyed it.”
“And I’m also glad you enjoyed my wings,” Dash grinned, unfolding her wings and flaring them, practically flaunting the feathery appendages in Applejack’s face.
The orange mare’s face turned rather red. “H-hush up now!” she growled indignantly. “There ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little curious interest!”
“Curious interest, eh?” Dash asked coyly. “What is it about my wings that makes you so curiously interested, anyway?”
Applejack’s blush deepened. “Uh, well,” she looked around nervously. “Ah dunno exactly. They’re just, y’know… interesting. Like, weird, but in a good way. Wassat word… uh… Exotic? Yeah, exotic.”
“Exotic? I like it,” Dash grinned smugly. “Makes me sound sexy!”
“Well, uh, sexy works too,” Applejack quietly muttered.
“My wings, or me?” the pegasus asked with a wink.
Applejack smiled sheepishly. “Uh, both?”
Dash chuckled. “Heh, no wonder you like it so much when I poke at you with my wings,” she observed with a smirk.
“Hey!” Applejack protested, leaning towards Dash. “That ain’t exact- heegurgurk…” her words melted into incoherent noise as Dash suddenly ran a wingtip up the side of her neck, along her jawline, and across her nose, overwhelming her senses. This, of course, left Dash giggling in amusement. Once Applejack regained her senses, she raised an eyebrow in curiosity. “What does that one mean?”
Dash shot her a quizzical look. “What does what mean?”
“That little wingtip stroke thingy. The cutie mark one is a show of affection, right? What’s the neck and face one mean?” the blushing earth pony inquired.
“Oh, pfft,” Dash waved a hoof flippantly her friend. “No real meaning. I just think it’s adorable and hilarious when your brain melts like that and stuff.”
Applejack blushed furiously, and looked away bashfully. “Adorable, ya say?”
“Ee-yup,” the pegasus said with a playful smirk, before extending her wing and repeating the motion. Only this time, she was much more slow about it, gently grazing the primary feather up Applejack’s neck at a deliberate, almost languid pace. Applejack visibly shuddered as a chill was sent running down her spine from the sensory overload. Dash slowly traced her wingtip along Applejack’s lower jaw, following the length of jawline to her chin, before grazing the feather up and over the vacant-eyed earth pony’s lips and nose.
And then Applejack sneezed.
Whatever magic there was in the moment was instantaneously shattered. Dash recoiled back a step, and both mares stared unsurely at each other for a moment, before bursting into hearty laughter in unison. Dash rolled over on her back, holding her stomach with her wings as she cackled. Despite her own chortling, Applejack tried to pull her hat down over her face, deeply embarrassed by the mood-breaking sneeze.
In the midst of their mutual laughter, Dash suddenly reached a wing over and lifted Applejack’s hat off her head. “Hey!” the earth pony protested, reaching out for the old Stetson. But Dash had already set it atop her own head, hopped up, and taken flight. “Gimme that back!”
“Hmmmm,” Dash pondered, rubbing her chin thoughtfully as she hovered a few feet off the floor. “Nah, I think it makes me look sexy. Err, sexier.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Be that as it may, it’s mah hat. Get yer own!”
“Let me think about it. Uh… Nah!” the pegasus smirked, buzzing a quick circle around her friend. “Why can’t we share it?”
“Ah just said, because it’s mine. Now give it back!” Applejack demanded. However, while she was attempting to sound stern and authoritative, the amused smile on her face defeated the purpose. “Or else!”
Dash hovered around so that she was eye-to-eye with Applejack, their faces just inches apart. “Oh yeah? Or else what?” she sneered smugly.
Without any warning, Applejack leaned forward and forcefully kissed Dash. Needless to say, the suddenly-distracted pegasus found her ability to fly hampered, and she dropped unceremoniously to the floor. Thankfully, she landed on her hooves, although she barely managed to stay standing since her legs were rather weak and wobbly.
And then Applejack pounced, grabbing Dash in a bear-hug and wrestling her onto a nearby pile of hay. “Gotcha!” she exclaimed triumphantly, reaching up to bite the brim of her hat, yank it off Dash’s head, and toss it back up onto her own scalp. “There we go, much better!”
“Heeey, that wasn’t fair,” Dash frowned. “You tricked me.”
Applejack smirked. “Aw hush, ya know ya liked it.”
“Well, yeah, but that’s not the point,” the pegasus muttered, trying to hide the goofy grin that kept trying to force its way onto her face.
It was at about this time that the two mares realized just how close they were. Sprawled out in the hay with Applejack laying on her left side and Dash resting on her right, they found themselves face-to-face with only inches between their bodies. Both ponies blushed and briefly looked away, before quickly returning their gazes to each other. “Uh, should we, uh, get up and, uh…” Dash muttered, unsure of what to really say or do.
Applejack averted her gaze again. “Ah mean, uh, Ah got no complaints. Just sitting here with ya…” she paused, and shifted her eyes back towards Dash. She found herself staring into the pegasus’ eyes, and smiled softly. “It’s… nice.”
“Yeah…” Dash quietly replied, a content smile forming on her own face. “This is nice…”
For a moment, the two blue and orange ponies stared at each other, silently smiling as they gazed into each other’s eyes. Eventually, Dash raised her left foreleg and wrapped it around Applejack, before pulling her in closer so they were pressed against each other. Applejack smirked softly, lifted her right foreleg, and returned the embrace. And finally, Dash unfurled her left wing and draped it over Applejack, more for the purpose of cover and warmth than for hugging.
“Did Ah mention this was nice?” Applejack asked dreamily.
“Yeah, you mentioned it,” Dash replied with a smirk.
“Well, it bears repeating,” the orange mare grinned. “Though, Ah think Ah know something that would make it better.”
Dash didn’t ask what she meant; she already knew the answer. Both mares leaned their faces in closer to each other, until their lips were barely grazing. After a slight bit of nervous hesitation from both parties, they both pressed into the kiss, and closed their eyes as their minds faded off into blissful contentment.
Neither mares knew how much time passed during the kiss – not that they really cared, or had the mental capacity to do so. Eventually, they both mutually broke the kiss, and smiled at each other in content satisfaction.
Applejack lifted her head to nuzzle against Dash’s face and mane. “Rainbow Dash… Ah really like you…” she quietly whispered in the cyan mare’s ear.
Dash returned the nuzzle, and whispered her own response into Applejack’s ear. “Good. Because I like you too. A lot.”
“Good,” Applejack sighed contently. She continued to nuzzle for a moment, before pausing to ask: “You ain’t in a hurry to return home, are ya?”
“Nah,” Dash smirked. “I can stay a bit longer.”
Applejack yawned deeply, before snuggling her face into Dash’s neck, and tightening her hug around the pegasus. “Good. Cuz Ah don’t feel like lettin’ go just yet…”
Dash let out a yawn of her own, before tightly squeezed the blonde earth pony in turn. “Heh. I got no complaints with that…”
And so the two friends lay there, contently embracing each other…
…before falling asleep and waking up in the same position the next morning.
“Y’know… Ah don’t know what’s worse,” Applejack grumbled upon waking up and realizing where she was. “The fact that we actually fell asleep like this, or the fact that somepony tossed a blanket on us without waking us up.” She looked down again at the red-and-white checkered blanket that somepony had placed over her and Dash during the night to keep them warm, before letting out another embarrassed groan. “Ah kinda wanna say the latter…”
“The latter,” Dash groaned, burrowing her blushing face into Applejack’s mane so she didn’t have to look at the condemning quilt. “Definitely the latter…”
“I’m not being paranoid,” Rainbow Dash replied, before pausing to look over her shoulder again. “I’m being precautious.”
“Yeah, well, yer gonna break yer neck if ya keep craning it like that, Dash,” Applejack observed with a frown as she trotted alongside her marefriend through the park, a picnic basket resting on her back.
“Well, can you blame me? I mean…” Dash paused to look around, once again checking to make sure no one was looking or listening. “I mean, it’s our first date,” she whispered, keeping her voice low just to be safe. “I don’t want anypony to mess it up.”
It was indeed their first real date as a couple. It had been over a week since the family dinner at Sweet Apple Acres, and while they’d managed to hang out briefly several times over the last several days, they hadn’t yet had time for a real, proper date. Today was the first good opportunity they’d had to spend several hours together without interruption. Or so they hoped. Rainbow Dash had the day off from Weather Patrol, and Applejack had managed to finish all her chores early. Which meant it was finally time for the two of them to enjoy a nice, romantic picnic.
It had actually been Pinkie who suggested the idea of a private picnic in the park, well over a week ago during her mid-air conversation with Rainbow Dash. In fact, she’d not only suggested the idea, but had even offered to prepare and provide the meal, basket, and blanket for the picnic. And to her credit, Pinkie had managed to act completely natural and unsuspicious when Applejack had dropped by Sugarcube Corner to pick up the picnic basket. That is to say, there were lots of excited giggling and whispers of “Good luck!” and “Have fun!” from the hyperactive pink mare, which was perfectly normal behavior for her by most standards.
And now here they were, completely alone in a quiet little portion of the Ponyville park, with Rainbow Dash nearly beside herself with paranoia. Applejack looked into the pegasus’ concerned eyes for a moment, before smirking. “So ya want me to have the perfect first date, huh? Why Rainbow Dash, I had no idea you were so mushily romantic.”
Dash’s look of concern immediately turned into a look of indignant annoyance. “Hey, I’m not being all mushy! I’m just… y’know… trying to be a nice marefriend,” she huffed, crossing her forelegs as she hovered alongside Applejack. “I just figured you’d want our first date to, like, not go horribly, horribly wrong.”
Applejack chuckled. “C’mon, Dash, what makes ya think that-“
“Flaming pancakes,” Dash deadpanned, before quickly listing off: “Your brother trotting into the kitchen mid make-out session, that fiasco with your sister and her friends and Rarity, the whole family dinner thing, the blanket…”
Applejack winced. “Okay, yeah, we do kinda have a bad track record…” she muttered.
“I still can’t look your brother in the eyes, by the way,” the blue pegasus groaned. It had been discovered that Big Macintosh was the mystery pony who had put a blanket over Applejack and Dash in their sleep. He’d apparently gone out to look for them when they didn’t return from their walk after dinner, and had found them asleep in the barn. He had also apparently decided they were sleeping too peacefully and had looked too cute and happy for him to just rudely wake them up. So he tossed a warm blanket over them with the intention of keeping them warm and comfortable, and to also give himself something to torment them with for the rest of their lives.
“Yeah, he ain’t intendin’ to let me live that down any time soon,” Applejack grumbled. “Anyhoo, this looks like a pretty decent spot, don’t ya think?” The orange mare gestured at a small grassy knoll along the path, the hilltop shaded by a flowering dogwood tree. It looked quite peaceful and comfortable, and best of all, there wasn’t another pony in sight.
“Awwww yeeeeeah,” Rainbow Dash grinned. “This looks perfect! Race ya to it!”
Applejack snorted. “Dash, look at the basket on my back. If we race right now, our lunch will wind up in the grass, and the only folks who’ll be happy ‘bout that are the ants.”
The rainbow-maned pegasus gave a flippant wave of her hooves. “Excuses, whatever. Fine, no race. But we both know you would have-” Dash paused when Applejack gave her a sidelong glance, and smiled innocently. “Given me a run for my money, and the race likely would have ended in a draw. Or you’d have won. Maybe. Maaaybe.”
Applejack smiled in mild amusement, before cantering past Dash to ascend the hillock. “C’mon, Dash. Let’s have our little picnic.” Dash gave a nod of agreement, and hovered after her special somepony, eager to get the date properly started.
It didn’t take long to get everything set up. The basket contained a thick red-and-white checker-pattern blanket, several sandwiches, some freshly baked cookies, a few small bags of potato chips, and two large thermoses full of cold lemonade. Applejack and Rainbow Dash had both shared a short moment of mutual confusion as they realized the picnic basket shouldn’t have had enough space to hold all that stuff, but they both decided not to question it and just blame Pinkie Pie.
Soon the two mares were both relaxing on opposite sides of the blanket with the basket between them (Applejack insisted on keeping a safe distance between them, just in case of wayward interlopers) and enjoying their meals. While they ate, they also took the time to admire the scenery – and each other. Taking her eyes off Rainbow Dash for a moment, Applejack looked up at the sky and smiled. “Y’know, it’s a really nice day out today.”
“Yep! Suuuuure is,” the pegasus replied with a sideways glance and a smug grin.
Applejack snickered. “Lemme guess, you had somethin’ to do with it?”
Dash looked up at the sky and lightly shrugged her wings. “I may have given the skies around the park a once-over while you were getting the picnic basket. Y’know, just to make sure there were no stray clouds or possible conditions for a freak tornado or something.”
“You really are tryin’ to make sure everythin’ is all nice and perfect for your marefriend, ain't ya?”
“Yup!” Dash replied with a cheerful nod as she took a sip from her thermos of lemonade. Apparently she did not realizing where Applejack was going with this.
The orange mare smirked wryly at her special somepony. “Aw, we’ll ain’t that cute. And just a moment ago you were sayin’ you weren’t all cutesy romantic. Ya liar.”
Dash lowered her drink, and shot a slightly annoyed look at Applejack. After a moment of light glaring, she let out a sigh. “Noooooo, I’m not trying to be all mushy,” she huffed with a roll of her eyes. “I’m just, like, trying to give you the perfect little date thing that you deserve.”
“That I deserve?” Applejack asked, tilting her head to the side in curiosity.
The electric-blue pegasus suddenly pulled another sandwich out of the basket. “Oh wow, Pinkie really did a great job on these sandwiches, don’t you think? Totally awesome, huh?” she asked with a sheepish grin. She was clearly trying to change the subject. "Would you like another one?"
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Daaaash?”
Dash sighed, and averted her gaze. A slight blush was rising to her cheeks. “Fiiiine. What I mean is… Well, I mean, you’re an awesome mare. Nearly… No. As awesome as me. So, I want this date to be as perfect as possible, so you’ll be as happy as possible. Because, y’know, you deserve to be happy. Or something like that. I’m bad at words, remember?” she muttered evasively, clearly embarrassed about having to explain how she felt on the matter. She even flicked her head to the side so that the short rainbow-hued bangs of her mane fell her eyes, in an attempt to hide herself from Applejack's and further embarrassment.
Applejack found herself staring, a blush of her own rising as she slowly processed what Dash had said. “Do… do ya really think I’m as awesome as you?” she quietly asked. She knew how big Dash’s ego was, and how highly she thought of herself and her “awesomeness.” For her to swallow her pride and actually consider another pony on the same level of awesomeness said a lot about both Rainbow Dash, and her feelings towards the pony in question.
Rainbow Dash tilted her head slightly, allowing an eye to bashfully peek out from beneath the protection of her mane. “Yeah…” she quietly replied, smiling shyly. “I… I really do mean that, Applejack. I think you’re as awesome as me.”
Applejack suddenly sat up and leaned forward across the basket, bringing her face within inches of Rainbow Dash’s. “Y’know Dash, if we weren’t out in public,” she whispered with a mischievous grin, “I’d prob’ly be pouncin’ on your right now, and makin’ out with you somethin’ fierce.”
Dash’s blush darkened by several shades. “W-w-what?” she stammered.
Applejack’s grin deepened. “What? That was probably the nicest, most romantic thing anypony’s ever said to me, all things considered. Makes sense that I’d wanna reward ya for it, right?”
Dash stared, dumbstruck. Clearly, she needed to make unexpectedly romantic remarks more often. The pegasus suddenly looked from side to side, checking to see if anypony was around. “Hey, wait, do we really count as being out in public if nopony is around?” she asked slyly.
Applejack chuckled, and leaned back to sit down again. “Sorry Sugarcube, but we’re playin’ it safe. No PDA or whatever ya call it ‘til we’re safely certain there ain’t no pryin’ eyes around.”
“Oh come oooooonnnnn,” Dash groaned, her shoulders sagging and wings drooping with disappointment. “We’re totally alone right now! C’mon, at least let me give you a quick kiss for being so awesome.” And with that, Dash quickly leaned forward in an attempt to kiss her awesome marefriend.
However, Applejack’s reflexes were just as sharp as the pegasus’, and she quickly dodged her head to the side. “Nope, sorry Dash,” she flatly told her. “No PDA. End of story.”
“Not even a kiss on the cheek?” the pegasus pouted.
Applejack smiled apologetically. “Sorry darlin’. Better safe than sorry.”
Rainbow Dash sighed. “Yeah, yeah. I know. But still, there’s nopony around. I don’t see what the harm in a quick peck or a stealthy snuggle is. I mean, it’s not like somepony is going to just-”
Twilight Sparkle suddenly materialized out of nowhere, appearing in a vibrant flash of light just a few feet in front of the two love-struck mares. “Hi girls!”
Applejack’s eyes went wide in surprise, but she managed to maintain her composure. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, dramatically failed at keeping her cool. The pegasus let out a short yelp of surprise, before rocketing up into the air and hovering several yards off the ground. “I wasn’t doing nothing I swear it!” she exclaimed in nervous panic.
Twilight raised an eyebrow in confusion and concern. “What?”
Applejack forced a smile. “What she means, Twilight, is that we weren’t doing anything important. As in, you’re not interrupting anything. Important. So, uh, what brings you ‘round these parts, by chance? Or did you know we were here?” In the back of her mind, Applejack decided that if Pinkie or Rarity had blabbed to Twilight or anypony else, she would be giving them a stern talking to. And maybe a few bucks to the flank. Probably both.
As Rainbow Dash recovered her nerves and hovered back down to sit on the picnic blanket, Twilight smiled cheerfully at both mares. “Oh, I put a tracking spell on you and the others, so I can always know where my friends are if we need each other!” she explained in an unsettlingly chipper manner.
Applejack and Dash both paled slightly, and in unison asked: “Wait you did what now?”
Twilight Sparkle raised a hoof to her mouth and giggled. “I’m kidding. No, me and Zecora were out gathering flowers, mushrooms, and other things for alchemy. She’s going to be giving me lessons later. I went ahead of her a bit, and happened to catch a glimpse of you two, so I thought I’d zap over to say hi.” The purple unicorn paused to look back over her shoulders, during which time Applejack and Dash both exchanged nervous glances. “She should be around here somewhere. I guess I may have gone a bit further ahead than I intended. Hmm.” Twilight turned back to look at her friends, just as they broke their shared looks. “Oh well, I’m sure she’ll turn up in a minute. What are you two up to?”
Applejack and Dash exchanged furtive, fleeting looks. Dash gave a small shrug of her wings, gesturing for Applejack to take the lead. Which was probably not a good idea due to Applejack’s inability to lie convincingly, but Dash was too frazzled to realize that in the heat of the moment. The blonde farmer looked back at Twilight and grinned anxiously. “Oh, uh, we were just… havin’ a picnic.” Technically not a lie!
“Really? Huh. Why didn’t you invite anypony else? Is this a special occasion or something?” Twilight playfully asked.
Applejack’s grin faltered slightly. Dash resisted a strong urge to facehoof as she realized Applejack couldn’t handle this situation. It looked like it was up to her to save the day. “Nope!” Dash suddenly exclaimed cheerfully, grabbing Twilight’s attention. “We just randomly decided to go on a picnic! Or rather, I did. Yep, no real reason for it! Just on a whim. I was all like ‘Hey AJ, let’s go on a picnic for no apparent reason!’ and she was all ‘Whyyy sure, Sugarcube, tha’ sounds like it’d be a hoot!’” the pegasus explained, giving a very enthusiastic but also very bad impression of Applejack’s southern twang.
“That ain’t at all what I sound like, durn it,” Applejack huffed indignantly, her accent as pronounced as ever.
Twilight once again brought a hoof to her mouth to contain her giggles. “Heh, it’s okay, girls. You don’t have to lie. I know exactly what’s going on here.”
Once again, Applejack and Dash both paled slightly and replied in unison. “You do?”
Twilight nodded confidently. “Yes! It’s obvious that you two just wanted to spend some quality friend time together as individual, rather than hanging out together with everypony as a group.”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash both resisted the urge to sigh in relief, and instead focused on smiling and nodding. “Uh huh. Yeah. Right. Yup. Totally,” they both began to mutter, just opting to go along with whatever totally-innocent-and-not-at-all-questionable-or-suspicious conclusion Twilight had arrived at.
“I mean, it makes perfect sense that with all the time we spend together in groups, you’d want to take the occasional chance to get to know each other on a more personal level,” Twilight explained factually.
In spite of the situation, Dash couldn’t help but smirk. “Personal. Right.” Applejack shot her a murderous glare.
Thankfully, Twilight missed both Dash’s innuendo and her lover’s death-stare of doom, and kept on talking. “Like how Rarity and Fluttershy have their spa days, where they get their manes done, drink tea, and share gossip. And me and Pinkie have done a few scientific projects and experiments together. So it’s only fair that you two should be able to have a little time to yourselves to enjoy each other’s company, in private and without interruption.”
Poor naïve Twilight. She had no idea what she was saying or implying. But the accidental innuendo was not lost on Rainbow Dash, who turned to flash a devilish grin at Applejack. “I like the way Twilight thinks.”
Applejack did not respond, instead opting to maintain a forced grin and resist the urge to berate Dash for being such a mischievous pervert.
Thankfully, further awkwardness and annoyance was quickly subverted by the well-timed appearance of Zecora, who came trotting out of a nearby copse of trees. “Ah! So this is where you went to, Twilight,” the zebra observed with a wry smile. “And two more friends? Such a delightful sight!”
“Howdy Zecora!” Applejack nodded in warm greeting.
“Yo!” Dash waved. “Hey there Zecora. Good to see you again.”
“Yes, seeing my friends is always a treat,” the rhyming equine beamed, before giving Applejack and Rainbow Dash a very knowing smile. “Seeing friends together? That is quite neat.”
While Twilight missed Zecora’s emphasis and subtext, Applejack and Rainbow Dash picked up on it all too easily. Both mares’ tried to play it cool, but there was no mistaking the hints of panic that immediately flickered to life in their eyes.
She knew.
Zecora suddenly turned to Twilight. “We should likely leave them both to their meal. Intruding too long would be rude, I feel.”
Twilight smiled and gave a nod of agreement. “Right, we should probably get back to gathering ingredients, anyway. I think I saw some flowers right over there that looked-”
Zecora gave a shake of her head. “We have enough to do alchemy now.” The zebra began to canter down the hill, back towards the path, gesturing with a smile and tilt of her head for Twilight to follow. “Come, Twilight; I shall teach you how. And as for you, Rainbow and Applejack, farewell, and please enjoy your picnic snack,” she told them with a subtle wink.
Twilight, having completely missed the wink, nodded in agreement and trotted after her friend. “Bye girls!” she called out to Applejack and Dash as she left their company.
“Bye Twilight, bye Zecora!” Dash and Applejack both waved after them as they left, awkward smiles plastered on their faces. Once the two other equines were gone, Applejack let out a deep sigh of relief, while Rainbow Dash flopped limply onto her back and let out an exasperated groan.
“How?” the pegasus flatly asked, staring at the clouds overhead. “How did she know?”
“Dark zebra magic? She’s an evil enchantress, who does evil dances?” Applejack deadpanned, before raising her hooves and shrugging her shoulders. “She’s probably just real perceptive. Recognized our body language or something. Subtle little things that told her all she needed ta know. She’s all smart and wise and stuff, it wouldn’t surprise me…”
“Yeeeeeah… Or maybe she’s psychic?” Dash theorized, narrowing her eyes in suspicion.
Applejack shook her head. “Nah. I think she’s just smart.”
“You’re right. She’s so smart, her mind is powerful enough to unlock it’s psychic potential.”
Applejack gave her marefriend a flat look. “Do you even listen to yerself sometimes?”
Rainbow Dash grinned. “Why wouldn’t I? Everything I say is 100% awesome!”
Applejack gave Dash a deadpan stare for several seconds, before smiling to herself and giving a small shake of her head. “Why do I put up with you?”
Dash’s grin deepened, and turned rather roguish. “Because I’m awesome?”
The blonde mare rolled her eyes, and chuckled softly under her breath. “Yeah, sure,” Applejack idly remarked, before quickly giving a few furtive glances around to they were completely alone. She then suddenly leaned across the picnic blanket, and planted a soft kiss on Rainbow Dash’s cheek. “You are pretty awesome,” she whispered playfully in Dash’s ear, before darting back across the blanket and sitting down like nothing happened.
Rainbow Dash just sat there stunned for a moment, a dazed look of goofy satisfaction on her face. Eventually, though, she snapped out of it and turned to frown at Applejack, who was fishing another sandwich out of the picnic basket. “Heeeeey, I thought you said no PDA?”
Applejack shrugged aloofly, and gave a coy smirk. “It’s differ’nt when I do it.”
“Well that was embarrassing,” Rainbow Dash grumbled.
“What part?” Applejack asked. She had a small frown on her normally smiling face, and she didn’t spare a glance to the pegasus hovering alongside her as they made their way towards Sugarcube Corner. “The groundskeeper catchin’ us makin’ out, or you tellin’ her that it wasn’t a free show?”
Dash crossed her forehooves and let out a huff. “I was just trying to make a joke so everypony wouldn’t freak out.”
“The poor gal’s face turned redder than my cutie mark.”
“It’s not my fault she thought I was serious!” Dash said with a bit of exasperated hoof flailing.
Applejack gave Rainbow Dash a sidelong glance. “Uh, darlin’, it kinda is.”
Rainbow Dash continued to hover along, silently frowning. She finally let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, I’ll apologize next time I see her.”
Applejack’s frown was replaced by the ghost of a smile. “Good,” she said with a nod. However, that smile quickly faded, and the earth mare let out a sigh of her own. “Too bad she’s probably already started tellin’ folks ‘bout us, the way she galloped off so fast.”
Rainbow Dash shrugged, and began to hover along upside down and recline in comfort. “Eh, not that big a deal. Who cares if everypony knows about us?”
Applejack grumbled. “Well, Ah care.”
Rainbow Dash tilted her head to the side, and she shot her marefriend a curious look. “Why do you care so much? I know you, Applejack, and you’re not the type of pony to usually care what other ponies think.”
Applejack stopped trotting, the empty picnic basket nearly tumbling off her back from the sudden halt. The orange mare looked pensive for a moment, before she closed her eyes and let out another sigh. “It’s complicated.”
When Applejack opened her eyes, she found herself face-to-face with Rainbow Dash. The blue pegasus was hovering just inches from her, and her eyes held a look of genuine concern. “You wanna talk about it?” Dash quietly asked.
Applejack stared in slight surprise for a moment, before her lips formed a faint smirk. “Ah thought you said you weren’t good at talkin’ ‘bout stuff?”
Dash briefly frowned, before pulling back and giving a smug grin. “Hey, I’m not good at talking, but if talking will help you feel better about something that’s bothering you, then I’m willing to try my best to help. That’s what a good marefriend is supposed to do, right?”
Applejack couldn’t help but smile. “Right…” With blinding speed, she darted forward to peck Dash on the cheek with a soft kiss, before stepping back from the slightly blushing pegasus. “And Ah appreciate that. It means a lot to me that you care.”
Slightly caught off guard by the kiss, Dash simply gave a small (slightly goofy) smile. “Heh, don’t mention it.” She quickly shook her head to recover her wits, before fixing Applejack with a scrutinizing look and a confident little smirk. “Now, tell me what’s wrong, alright?”
Applejack smiled back, but only for a moment. A look of apprehension crept onto her face, before she cast a quick look about to ensure they were alone. Seeing nopony else on the street and satisfied that there were no prying ears nearby, the blonde mare let out a small sigh before looking back at Rainbow Dash. “Ah’m just… worried, is all.”
Rainbow Dash stared at her lover with a flat expression. “No, really?” the blue pegasus deadpanned. “I had no idea you were worried.”
“Spare me the sarcasm, darlin’.”
“I’ll spare you the sarcasm when you spare me the runaround. C’mon, AJ, spill it. What exactly are you worried about? That ponies are gonna give us trouble or be mad that we’re dating? Big whoops, mares date mares all the time, and nopony ever raises a fuss. Not a fuss that anybody cares about, at least.”
Applejack gave a shake of her head. “No, it’s not that. Well, not exactly.”
“Well, what is it then?”
Applejack gave a small wave of her hoof at the town around them. “The moment word spreads about you an’ me, ponies are gonna start talkin’. An’ you know it ain’t all gonna be nice. They’re gonna be crackin’ all sorts of jokes, makin’ little remarks about us behind our backs and probably even to our faces. Maybe not to be mean, but still. Some of it'll no doubt be a bit off-color. You know it’s gonna happen.”
Rainbow Dash snorted. “Yeah, so? I mean, yeah they’re gonna talk. Yeah, I’ll probably get ribbed by the other ponies on the Weather Patrol and have them make all sorts of dirty jokes. But one buck to the teeth, and they’ll-“
“That’s mah point!” Applejack suddenly snapped, giving a stomp of her hoof for emphasis. “Yer first instinct is to get aggressive and cause a ruckus.”
“Hey!” Dash huffed, raising a hoof indignantly. “That’s not-” The pegasus paused, and her hoof fell to her side. “Okay, no, you do have a point," she frowned. "I am kinda hotheaded sometimes, and let things get to me when they shouldn’t. Sorry.”
Applejack nodded. “Ah don’t mind it. Ah’m the same way sometimes. But Ah’m just worried that somepony will say the wrong thing to one of us, and we'll get snappish or fussy, an’ then the whole town will really have something to talk about. And even if that doesn’t happen, an’ we’re able to keep our temper’s in check… Ah really don’t wanna have to listen to folks gossipin’ and jokin’ about me an’ my marefriend,” she grumbled. “It’s gonna happen.”
Dash stopped her hovering, and landed to sit on her haunches. She tapped a hoof to her chin thoughtfully, mulling over Applejack’s concerns. “Okay, yeah, I see what you’re saying. It’s not if the ponies around town are going to gossip and joke about us once they find out we’re dating, it’s just a matter of when?”
Applejack couldn’t help but smirk. “That’s pretty ‘astute’ of you, Dash. Have you been hangin’ out with Twi too much? Should I be worried?”
The azure mare scoffed and gave a dismissive wave of her wing. “Oh yeah, lemme tell you about the super-hot affair I’ve been having with our mutual best friend. You know what they say about socially awkward librarians.” Dash gave a playful waggle of her eyebrows. “Rawr!”
Applejack could help but let out a laugh, shaking her head in amusement. “Why do I put up with you?”
“Because I’m-“
“Awesome?” Applejack interrupted with a coy smirk.
Dash frowned. “I wasn’t going to say that.”
“Liar.”
The rainbow-maned pegasus narrowed her eyes. “Okay maybe I was going to say it, but you can't prove it.”
With a small snicker, Applejack resumed her trotting – only for Dash to extend a wing and block her progress. “Hm?”
There was an uncharacteristic frown on Dash’s face. For once, she actually looked rather serious. “What else is worrying you so much?"
"What-"
"There’s totally something else, I can tell.”
Applejack sat down and sighed. “Alright, alright. Ah'm also worrdied that you an’ me ain’t the only ones who might lose our patience over a little gossip, y’know?”
“What, you mean our friends?” Dash asked. She lowered her wing, and tilted her head to the side. “Uh, AJ, I don’t think our friends are going to go smashing ponies through windows over a little gossip about our dating habits. I mean, if anything, that’d be pretty awesome. Could you see Fluttershy doing that?” she asked with a crooked grin. “Seriously, I’d pay good bits to see Shy go all ‘crazily overprotective big sister’ for us.”
Applejack didn’t grin or laugh. If anything, she looked even more worried. “Actually, Dash, Ah’m more worried about a crazily overprotective little sister.”
The grin on Dash’s face slowly evaporated. “You mean Apple Bloom?”
“And Scootaloo. You know them other fillies tease ‘em a good bit already. You know how fillies are. What’s gonna happen when the folks ‘round town start gossipin’ about us? You know them other fillies are gonna start usin’ jokes about us as a way to mess with them. Let’s be real here – what’s gonna happen?”
For a brief moment, Dash had a mental image flicker through her mind of Apple Bloom brutally suplexing Diamond Tiara through a school desk. For a much longer moment, Dash had to try not to grin or cackle at said mental image. Struggling to keep a straight face, she gave a nod. “Okay yeah, I can see your point there. Scoots and Bloom may get more upset than usual since it’s us being insulted and not them, which leads to fights, which leads to schoolhouse drama, which leads to parent-teacher conferences, which leads to-”
“Yer not helping.”
Dash shrugged. “Sorry. Just remembering Flight School. This one time, this colt-”
“This story ain’t gonna help me feel any better, is it?” Applejack deadpanned.
Dash coughed. “So I’ll talk to Scoots and you’ll talk to your sister, and we can have Rarity talk to Sweetie, and…” her voice trailed off.
Applejack raised an eyebrow out of curiosity and slight concern. “And what?”
“Rarity,” Dash suddenly said with a grin.
“Rarity what?”
“We’ll get Rarity handle this.”
Applejack’s brow rose higher. “I don’t think pawnin’ Bloom and ‘Loo on Rare is such a good idea.”
“No no no, not them. Well, actually, that might be a good idea since my advice to Scootaloo would probably be to buck her bullies in the teeth,” the pegasus said with a sheepish smile. Applejack gave her a dirty look. “Hey, I’m just being honest!” Dash said defensively.
“Uh huh,” Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. “So what was yer brilliant plan?”
“Let’s be real here, Rarity’s a gossip-monger,” Dash stated bluntly. “So what if we get her to spread gossip about us?” The stare she got from Applejack was not an impressed one. “Hang on, I’m not done. We get her to spread gossip about us. Good gossip. About how good a couple we are, how cute we are, how sweet we are to each other, blablabla yadda yadda, all that mushy stuff, though not too much mushy stuff about me since I've got a reputation to uphold and whatever, but you get my point,” she said with a dismissive wave of her hoof.
“So… we get Rarity to make everyone sick to their stomach?”
“Noooooo, we get Rarity to make us sound like a super-awesome couple, so ponies wanna say good stuff about us. We’ll be the talk of the town, alright,” Dash grinned. “The most awesome couple in town! Nopony will wanna make jokes and stuff, because then other ponies will get annoyed at them and be like ‘you shouldn’t say mean stuff about them because they’re such a super nice and awesome couple’ and then they’ll feel guilty and won’t say bad stuff. So we won’t get mad and sucker-buck anypony, and those little brats won’t pick on Apple Bloom and Scootaloo without looking like, well, little brats. It’s brilliant, brilliant I say! Mwahahahaha!”
Applejack stared at her marefriend, who was now standing on her hindlegs with her wings spread and a forehoof raised to the sky. “Was the triumphant pose and dramatic laugh really necessary?”
Dash dropped back to all four hooves, and grinned widely. “Totally.”
This, naturally, earned the usual eye roll and smirk from Applejack. “Uh huh, right. Anyhoo, that plan of yours… uh…” She paused to mull it over. “Actually, it sounds pretty good. Why don’t we drop by an’ see Rare after we drop off Pinkie’s basket?”
Dash grinned proudly. “See? My plans are always awesome. Always.”
“What about that time when-”
The pegasus frowned, and turned to begin trotting towards Sugarcube corner. “Oh hush.”
“Or that time when-”
“Okaaaaay, I get it.”
“Or last week, when-”
“Knock it off, AJ.”
Applejack chuckled. “Ah mean, do you even remember the thing with the alpaca?”
“It’s not my fault he looked like a really furry llama!” Dash protested.
“How do you confuse an alpaca and a llama?!”
The blue pegasus gave a dismissive shrug. “Pretty easily, apparently.”
Applejack just shook her head. “Right. Anyhoo, Ah will say that yer plan is actually a pretty good one, this time.”
“What was that?” Dash asked, leaning towards Applejack with a grin.
The orange mare simply trotted past Dash, playfully smacking her in the face with the tip of her tail as she passed. “Ah said This time,” Applejack quipped with a smile. “Now c’mon, let’s go see Pinkie an’ give her back this basket without lookin’ too suspicious.”
“Psh, you worry too much,” Dash said. She gave a dismissive wave of her wing, before hopping up to hover after Applejack. “Seriously, nothing’s gonna look suspicious about us dropping off a picnic basket. Besides, it’s not like there are be a ton of ponies there or-”
Several minutes later, Rainbow Dash and Applejack found themselves standing in the doorway of Sugarcube Corner, with a large crowd of customers in front of them. “Okay, I was wrong,” Dash whispered to Applejack.
Thankfully, most of the several dozen ponies present hadn’t noticed the pair yet, but the few ponies who had noticed were already giving them curious or quizzical glances. Their eyes seemed particularly drawn to the picnic basket on Applejack’s back, and its possible implications. Applejack tried to ignore them, her eyes instead darting around the crowd in search of her vibrantly pink and perky friend. Hopefully Pinkie wouldn’t make a scene, or draw too much attention to them.
“HIYA!!” As if from nowhere, Pinkie somehow suddenly jumped up between Rainbow Dash and Applejack. A few years ago, both mares would have screamed in terror, but a long and fun friendship with Pinkie had desensitized them to being startled by her sudden greetings. Usually.
“Hey Pinkie,” Rainbow and Applejack both replied in unison, flashing friendly smiles at their friend. Before either could say anything else, though, Pinkie suddenly grabbed the basket off of Applejack’s back.
“Oh hey, you found my basket!” the perky pink mare squealed excitedly. “I’ve been looking all over for it! Oh thank you so much for bringing it back!”
Applejack looked confused. “Huh?” Pinkie Pie maintained her super-enthusiastic grin, but her eyes gave Applejack a very sharp look that seemed to translate into a command to play along. “Oh, uh, right. We, uh…”
Thankfully, Rainbow Dash quickly stepped in before Applejack’s horrible lying skills could make this situation any more awkward or weird. “Yup I totally found it and saw AJ on the way over so we decided we’d both come by to drop it off and say hi but you’re super busy so we’ll just be going now alright Pinkie?” the blue pegasus quickly rattled off.
“Okay!” Pinkie chimed, having (unsurprisingly) understood every rapid-fire word. Before either mare could react, Pinkie grabbed both Applejack and Rainbow Dash and (while somehow balancing the picnic basket on her head) gently hurled them out the front door. “Come back later bye bye!”
The door to the bakery slammed shut. While the ponies inside went back to their business, Applejack and Rainbow Dash both just stood outside, slightly dumbstruck. The two exchanged confused looks. “Uh, what just happened?” Applejack finally dared to ask.
Dash gave a shrug of her wings. “Probably best not to question it. We should probably head towards Rarity’s place,” she said, turning to start trotting further into town.
“Right behind ya,” Applejack nodded, adjusting her hat before quickly following after her companion.
The pegasus smirked, and picked up the pace of her trot just slightly. “Heh, as usual," Dash remarked, a bit of smugness in her tone.
“We are not havin’ a race to Rarity’s shop,” Applejack deadpanned, strangling that idea before it had a chance to exist.
“Ugh, spoilsport,” Dash huffed.
Applejack trotted up alongside the pegasus, and gave her a flat look. “Do you remember what happened last time we raced to Rarity’s?”
Rainbow Dash paused her trotting for a moment to ponder…
It was a relatively normal day in Ponyville, aside from the rainstorm. Applejack had closed up her market stall and was heading home, and Rainbow Dash was checking around to make sure nopony was caught off guard by the rain and needed any help. They’d both run across each other, and decided to go visit Rarity for good company and drier environments. What started as a casual trek quickly turned into a competitive trot, which quickly turned into a heated race, which quickly devolved into a frantic galloping duel with no rules or restraints.
Naturally, Rarity wasn’t happy when the two mares burst through her front door covered in mud and rain and promptly slid across her floor, making a huge mess and causing her to make a tiny but "absolutely devastating" error on the dress she was slaving over. Naturally, she had screamed at them. A lot.
A whole lot.
Rainbow Dash shrugged her shoulders and wings. “Nope, don’t remember.”
The expression on Applejack’s face remained flat. She obviously wasn’t convinced. “Uh huh… Right, well, needless ta say, we ain’t racin’ over there again.”
“Fiiiiine,” Dash said with a roll of her eyes. “No race. Besides!” A devious smile suddenly appeared on the pegasus’ face. “I’ve got a better idea for something we could do on the way over there.”
Applejack groaned. “Ah swear, if you try ta suggest we somehow trot and make out at the same time, Ah’m gonna-”
Rainbow Dash never found out what Applejack’s threat was going to be. She interrupted it quite effectively when she extended her right wing out towards her marefriend, and began to tickle her left side, right between her ribs and her flank. She’d expected Applejack to yelp in surprise or growl in annoyance.
She didn’t expect a sharp, remarkably girly giggle.
Both mare froze in their tracks, their eyes going wide. Dash recoiled back slightly, looking confused about the uncharacteristic noise Applejack had made. Applejack, meanwhile, looked utterly mortified, and quickly clamped a hoof over her mouth in shock and embarrassment.
“You… you’re ticklish…” Dash observed, completely stupefied by this revelation. “And… and you giggle…”
For a moment, the two mares stared at other. A certain mischievous look appeared in Dash’s ruby eyes, her lips curling into a devious smirk, while Applejack’s own green eyes betrayed dawning horror and an unfortunate realization.
Before Dash could act, Applejack turned, and with a yell of "NOPE!!" took off galloping as fast as she could towards Rarity's boutique. Dash quickly sped after her in quick pursuit, intending to catch up and tickle her mercilessly. The earth mare let out a colorful stream of insults and threats as she ran, while the pegasus simply cackled with wicked glee.
Applejack had told Dash that they couldn't have a race. Unfortunately, she hadn't said anything about a chase.
Fluttershy stared at the large bag of coins on the table in front of her. “I don’t understand…” the timid pegasus quietly said, looking genuinely confused. One minute she’d been enjoying tea and pleasant conversation in Rarity’s kitchen, the next she was being given a bunch of bits. “What’s this for?”
Rarity daintily sipped her tea, keeping her gaze on the celebrity gossip magazine she was levitating in front of her face. “For the bet, Darling.”
Fluttershy blinked. “The bet?”
“Yes, dear, the bet. You are the victor, and to the victor go the spoils.”
“Oh,” Fluttershy’s eyes suddenly lit up. “The one about Rainbow’s mane?”
Rarity slapped the magazine down on the table, and turned to give a sidelong glance at Fluttershy through her reading glasses. “No, for I am still convinced that the coloration she has is not a natural product of equine genetics!”
Fluttershy’s look of confusion slightly returned. “Oh.”
Rarity gave a small sigh, and picked her magazine back up. “It was our other bet involving Rainbow Dash, actually,” the unicorn mused from behind her reading material.
Fluttershy looked thoughtful for a moment, before her eyes lit up again. “Oh! About her and Apple-”
“I can neither confirm nor deny that our friends Rainbow Dash and Applejack are participating in some form of relationship or romance,” Rarity stated matter-of-factly. “That would be a violation of their trust, after all.”
Fluttershy giggled softly. “Right. It would be rude to gossip about them behind their backs.”
“Indeed! And until they allow their hypothetical relationship to be public knowledge, then it would be quite improper of you or I to discuss it, or how cute of a couple they make,” Rarity quipped, smiling wryly behind her magazine.
“Well, I’m happy for them,” the yellow pegasus observed with a small smile of her own. “Hypothetically, I mean.”
“Oh yes, hypothetically of course,” Rarity nodded. “And it will likely stay hypothetical for quite some time. If those two were to be dating, it would likely take a lengthy amount of time before they were comfortable with allowing other ponies to see them-”
The front door of Rarity’s parlor suddenly swung open forcefully, as an orange earth mare barreled in through the threshold. “SANCTUARY!!” she yelled, wide-eyed in frantic fear as she galloped into the shop. “Sanctu- ACK!!”
Applejack’s please for aid were cut off as she was tackled from behind by a blue blur that could only be Rainbow Dash. The two ponies flew forward onto the floor, rolling several times in a jumbled tangle of hooves, wings, and bodies. The two finally came to a stop on the floor right in front of the doorway to the kitchen, with Rainbow Dash on top of Applejack, pinning her hooves down. “Now I’ve gotcha!” the blue pegasus said with an evil grin.
Peals of giggling laughter erupted from Applejack as a pair of wings began to mercilessly tickle her stomach and sides. “Stop stop!” the earth mare protested through her laughter. “Rainbow stop! Rainboooow!” she howled, struggling to get free or somehow stave off the assault. “Guldurnit cut it out!”
“Never!” Dash proclaimed with an evil cackle. “And there’s nothing you can do to-”
Applejack suddenly lifted her head and rammed her muzzle into Dash’s, forcefully kissing her. The blue pegasus froze in dumbfounded surprise, briefly pausing in her tickle assault. And that was all Applejack needed; there was a dull fwump as the rainbow-maned mare was hurled across the room and onto her back. “Cheater!” Dash protested from her new corner of the room.
Applejack rolled over onto her stomach and smirked. “All’s fair in love and war.”
Rarity coughed.
The two lovers froze, eyes going wide as they realized where they actually were. They both turned their horrified gazes towards Rarity, who was smiling pleasantly at them from her seat in the kitchen. “I seem to recall informing you two that you were not allowed to race to or in my house,” the fashionista crisply observed. “Apparently I also need to make a rule about PDA as well. What do you think, Fluttershy?” she dryly asked.
Fluttershy said nothing. She was too busy hiding behind Rarity’s magazine, which she had stolen to shield herself from the awkward sight before her. “Hoity Toity has a new line of hats coming out next month,” the yellow mare quietly observed, trying to sound casual. “I wonder if they’ll have one in a shade of verdant green…”
Rarity gave a small shake of her head, before turning her attention back towards the blushing mares in her living room, still smiling faintly. Applejack and Dash both grinned sheepishly, before apologizing in unison. “Sorry.”
“It’s quite alright,” Rarity sighed. “I suppose I should not complain about my two best friends being so happy and… comfortable… within their relationship,” she said, her smile becoming a bit more warm and genuine. “Now, what brings you to my parlor today? I doubt you came by just to make out on my floor.”
The two marefriends blushed some more, before rising to their hooves and trotting into the kitchen. “Actually, we wanted to ask ya a favor,” Applejack said with a meek smile.
“Yeah, we need your help with something. Something you know all about,” Dash said, her own smile becoming a bit crooked and playful.
“Oh?” Rarity raised a curious eyebrow, while Fluttershy lowered the magazine she’d been using as an anti-awkward shield, also interested in hearing what this odd request might be.
“Eeyup,” Applejack nodded.
Dash grinned. “We need you to gossip about us.”
“Pshaw,” Rarity scoffed, acting taken aback. “Are you both imply that I would actually partake in-”
Rainbow Dash and Applejack both leveled flat stares at the unicorn. Fluttershy giggled softly.
“Alright, so maybe I do partake in the verbal exchange of news and rumor,” Rarity admitted with a sheepish smile. She then tilted her head to the side, looking slightly perplexed. “But why would you need my skills in such a thing? Do you need me to help in averting suspicion, or creating cover stories?”
Dash shook her head. “Nah.”
“Actually, Rare, we need ya to spread the word about us datin’ each other now,” Applejack said with a tilt of her head towards her winged lover. “Think you can do that?”
Rarity stared for a moment, before tilting her head to the other side. “Beg pardon?”
“We need you to make us sound like a good couple that’s all cute and happy and stuff so nopony will make fun of us without feeling bad,” Rainbow clarified with a roll of her eyes.
Rarity’s brows rose in surprise. “Oh? And who came up with this stunningly brilliant idea?”
Applejack turned and smirked at Rainbow Dash. The blue pegasus simply narrowed her eyes at Rarity. “That’s not important right now,” she flatly replied.
Fluttershy let out another small giggle of amusement, while Rarity smirked knowingly. “I see. Well, if I understand it correctly, that actually is a rather clever plan. If the various townsfolk are convinced that you both make for a happy and adorable couple, then they’ll be too busy saying good things about you to have the time or inclination to make negative remarks or jokes. At least, I presume that’s your fear – off-color jokes, unpleasant gossip, so on and so forth,” she mused.
The two lovers nodded. “We’re also worried that Apple Bloom or Scootaloo would overhear some of that stuff,” Applejack frowned sadly. “They already know we’re datin’ each other, but there’s no tellin’ what they’d do if they knew folks were gossipin’ about us.”
“Or if they get messed with by some obnoxious brats,” Dash grumbled.
Rarity frowned. “Ah yes, I can understand your concern in that regard. Our sisters do all seem to have a little less social grace and restraint than we’d prefer for them to exercise,” the unicorn observed with a small frown. “I can sit down with our little Crusaders and have a talk about all this, if you’d like.”
Applejack smiled softly. “That’d be great, Rare. Thank ya.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow nodded, smiling as well. “Thanks a lot, Rarity.”
“Oh, think nothing of it,” the fashionista said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “I am always happy to assist my friends. Is there anything else I can do for you? Would you like to sit down for some tea with us? It’s peppermint.”
“We can put on another pot if you’d like a different flavor,” Fluttershy offered.
“Nah, thank ya though,” Applejack replied with a shake of her head. “Ah don’t need anythin’ else, Ah don’t think. What about you, Dash? Dash?”
Rainbow Dash was staring across the room at something. Applejack followed her gaze, and saw that she was looking at a cookbook on a nearby counter. Baking For Beginners. “Hey Rare, you usin’ that book?” the blue pegasus asked after a moment.
Rarity turned in her seat, craning her neck to see what Dash was asking about. “Hm? Oh, no, I haven’t been using it lately. Why, did you wish to borrow it?”
Dash nodded. “Yeah, Applejack’s been trying to teach me to cook, so I figured maybe I should study up.”
“Ah yes,” Rarity nodded, smirking knowingly. “So I heard.”
Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Heard?”
“Where’d you hear that?” Dash asked, looking confused. “Did we already tell you about it?”
“I heard it from Sweetie Belle, actually, since Apple Bloom told her all about how Rainbow Dash exploded the farmhouse’s kitchen earlier this month,” the unicorn replied, her smirk deepening.
Rainbow Dash raised a hoof, and pointed it accusingly. “Hey. Hey. I did not blow up the kitchen. I only caught the stovetop on fire. And maybe a hat or two.”
“Those poor pancakes never stood a chance,” Applejack muttered furtively.
“Hey!” the blue pegasus protested defensively. “I was distracted, thank you very much!”
“Excuses, excuses,” Applejack smirked, while Rarity and Fluttershy giggled in amusement. “Anyhoo, Ah guess we can stick around for a bit, and have a little tea.”
“Yeah, sounds good,” Rainbow Dash shrugged.
Rarity smiled in delight. “Oh, excellent! Here, let me put on a fresh kettle…”
And so, the four friends sat down to enjoy a nice afternoon of tea, friendly banter, and more than a few jokes about Rainbow Dash’s horrible luck with the culinary arts…
Perfect.
It was all so very perfect.
The flour. The eggs. The sugar. The baking powder. They had all been measured and prepared perfectly. Dash hadn’t spilt milk all over the floor. She hadn’t substituted salt for sugar on accident. And she’d flawlessly cracked open several eggs, without any shell fragments, splattered yolk, or confused baby chickens to worry about. Everything. Was. Perfect.
“Alright,” Applejack grinned proudly, hip-bumping her marefriend as they both stood near the counter in the Sweet Apple Acres kitchen. It had been almost a week since the picnic and visit to Rarity’s, it seemed that Dash’s intent studying of that cookbook during that time had clearly paid off. “Now that everythin’ fer the cake batter is in the bowl, all we gotta do is turn on the mixer. Ah just need to-”
“I got it,” Dash grinned, reaching a hoof out to turn on the mixer.
“Wait, Dash! Don’t-”
There were very few times in her life where Dash being super-fast was a problem. This was one of them.
Before Applejack could stop her, Dash flipped on the mixer. At top speed. What followed was a very brief but messy explosion of half-mixed batter, a cloudy haze of flour, and splatters of egg yolk. In less than three seconds, the bowl was emptied, and its contents were left smeared all over the two mares, the floor, and the surrounding counter-tops.
For a long moment, the kitchen was silent, aside from the dull ~whrrrrrrrrr~ of the mixer desperately trying to stir an empty bowl.
Finally, Applejack turned off the overzealous appliance, and turned her batter-splattered face towards Rainbow Dash. The pegasus’ blue coat was now mostly white from flour and sugar, and her right eye was twitching. “Uh… darlin’?” Applejack quietly asked, recognizing her partner’s distress.
“Just once,” Dash hissed. “Just once, I’d like to not screw up.”
Applejack sighed, and put a hoof over Dash’s shoulders, pulling her close for a messy hug. “It’s alright, Dash. That happened the first time Ah tried ta use a mixer, too.”
“Urrrrrrrg,” the pegasus groaned in exasperation. “Whyyyyy do I keep screwing up? I swear, I bet if I tried to boil water, it’d somehow catch on fire.”
“Psh, c’mon Sugarcube, Ah doubt you could burn water,” Applejack scoffed, grinning crookedly.
Dash gave her a flat look. “Wanna bet?”
“Not really,” Applejack deadpanned. She knew better than to tempt fate.
“Ugh,” Dash grunted, facehoofing in annoyance. “Bad enough I blew up the batter. But now we’ve gotta clean the kitchen.”
“Eh, don’t worry about it,” Applejack said, again hugging her ingredient-covered lover. “You just go wash yerself off. Ah’ll clean up the kitchen.” Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to say something, but the farmer cut her off. “And no, we can’t lick each other clean. It’d be more nasty than fun, and the eggs might make us sick.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Dash sighed. “I guess I’ll go wash off then. It’ll take me a little while to get all of this gunk out of my feathers,” she grumbled.
“You can use the shower if ya need to. No rush,” the earth pony said with a smile. “Ah got this covered. Just go get yerself clean, and then we can maybe try again.”
“Maybe…” the pegasus muttered, before trotting out of the kitchen to head upstairs for the bathroom, trying to careful avoid leaving a mess in her wake.
Rainbow Dash had indeed needed to use the shower, since it would have otherwise taken forever for her to clean the flour, eggs, and half-mixed batter out of her hair, fur, and particularly her feathers. She tried to hurry up and not take too long, but she still had to take the time to properly clean and preen her wings, lest her flying abilities be hampered by shoddy hygiene. She may have also zoned out a time or two in the comfortable warmth of the shower water. Whoops.
Eventually, though, Dash descended back downstairs, her fur sparkly clean, her wings gorgeously preened, and her mane fancily wrapped up in a towel to dry, since going for a quick fly to air-dry it wasn’t exactly a (good) option right now. She could hear the closing of cabinet doors coming from the kitchen; Applejack was likely putting away the cleaning supplies, having finished dealing with the mess they made. Dash frowned a bit as she trotted through the living room, once again feeling bad about screwing up so badly.
As the pegasus made her way towards the kitchen, she idly glanced around the living room, only to have something catch her gaze. It was something she’d seen many times before, and had never really paid much mind to. But this time, it managed to grab her attention, and keep it firmly held for more than a passing glance.
The object in question was a faded photograph hanging on the wall. A pair of earth ponies, standing side-by-side in front of a farmhouse, smiling happily. The one on the left was a pretty purple mare with eyes and mane of a lighter purple hue, as well as freckles and a very pretty smile. The pony on the right was a stout stallion with a dark cobalt coat and a dark green-blue mane, though it was hard to tell for sure due to the fading of the picture, as well as vibrant green eyes and a smile that was both crooked and confident.
Dash couldn’t help but feel a small pang of sadness at the sight of Applejack’s parents. Her ears drooped slightly as she wondered what they would have thought of her. Would they have approved of their daughter dating a non-earth pony? A brash, flashy, sky-loving pegasus no less? Would they have considered her good enough for their daughter? Would they have-
“They’d have liked ya.”
Dash jumped slightly, letting out a small squeak of surprise as she whirled about to find Applejack standing next to her, a small, sad smile on her freckled face. She’d apparently cleaned herself up already, though there were still a few flecks of flour in her mane. Dash opened and closed her mouth, trying to find a proper response to that observation.
Applejack just smiled a bit more. “That is what you were thinkin’ about, wadn’t it?”
The pegasus continued to work her jaw for a moment as though imitating a dumbfounded goldfish, before finally letting out a small sigh. “Yeah,” she admitted, her ears drooping a bit further. “Something like that.”
Applejack took another step closer, and leaned in to nuzzle Dash’s cheek. “They would have liked ya, darlin’. Though…” her voice trailed off.
Dash raises an eyebrow, frowning in concern. “Though?” she asked warily.
“Though,” Applejack whispered softly in Dash’s ear, “They would have been a mite bit disappointed in yer cookin’ skills.”
There was a second or so of silence. And then both mares broke down into giggles.
“Psh, nah,” Dash said through her giggles, shaking her head in protest. “They’d have probably been happy to see me trying to get better, especially with you helping me.”
“Heh, yeah,” Applejack smirked, “Up until you wrecked their kitchen. Repeatedly.”
“Hey, I offered to help clean up,” Dash shot back defensively, frowning a bit.
“Ah know, Ah know, just teasing,” Applejack said, nuzzling her marefriend’s cheek again. “Ya know Ah’m just messin’ with ya.”
After a short moment of continued frowning, Dash smiled and nuzzled back. “Yeah, yeah, I know…”
The two exchanged mutual nuzzles for a bit, before Dash pulled back a bit, once again frowning slightly. “Sorry for taking so long, by the way. Does the kitchen need any more cleaning?”
“Nah,” Applejack said with a shake of her head. “Ah done got everythin’ all cleaned up.”
The pegasus extended a wing, and poked at her lover’s mane. Specifically, the parts that still held bits of flour. “I dunno, I think you missed a spot or two,” Dash playfully smirked.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Well Ah didn’t have the chance ta take a shower, like a certain pegasus did. For quite awhile, Ah might add.”
Dash grinned lasciviously. “You could have joined me, you know.”
This earned another eye roll from Applejack. “Not gonna respond ta that. Anyhoo, what about yours?”
“My shower?” Dash asked back, tilting her head to the side in perplexed confusion.
“No, silly, yer parents,” Applejack snorted with an amused smirk.
“Oh. Uh, what about them?” the pegasus asked, not quite following.
“Ah dunno,” Applejack shrugged, averting her gaze a bit. “Ah’m just… y’know… wonderin’ what they’d think of me.”
“What they’d think of you?”
Another shrug. “Whether or not they’d approve of ya datin’ a mare, and one without wings no less,” she muttered.
“Oh. Psh,” Dash snorted, grinning lopsidedly. “Yeah, they’d be totally cool with it.”
Applejack continued to look off to the side, her lips curling into a small, uncomfortable frown. “You sure about that?”
“Uh, yeah, why wouldn’t they?” Dash asked, frowning a bit with worry herself. “Do you think there’d be some sort of problem?”
“Ah dunno,” the earth mare muttered somewhat evasively. “Ya don’t think they’d mind you datin’ a gal who’s stuck on the ground? Ah mean, we couldn’t exactly go visit ‘em, or any of yer other kinfolk. Shoot, Ah can’t even come up to yer house without you havin’ ta carry me or get some sorta spell put on me,” she grumbled, her frown deepening.
Rainbow Dash looked at her marefriend for a long moment. “This isn’t entirely about what my parents think, is it?” she eventually asked. “C’mon, I can tell something’s bothering you here.”
Applejack kept her gaze averted. “Ah dunno…”
A feathery blue wing extended out to rest on the orange mare’s shoulder. “It’s okay, AJ,” Dash softly said, offering a meek smile. “You can tell me what’s up.”
Applejack looked back at her lover; her eyes held a strange mixture of worry, but also appreciation. It seemed that she was rather touched by Dash’s willingness to listen, despite her own tentativeness to share. The farmer let out a sigh, her gaze dropping. “Ah’ve just been… ponderin’ some stuff.”
Dash nodded, keeping her wing on Applejack’s shoulder. “Go on.”
“Ah dunno,” the farm-mare muttered. “Ah’ve just been havin’ some thoughts about the long-term.”
“Long-term?”
“Yeah. Me bein’ an earth pony, and you bein’ a pegasus. Ah mean, like Ah said, Ah can’t even come up to yer house without havin’ a spell cast on me or somethin’ like that,” she said with a frown. “And askin’ you to live on the ground seems like cagin’ a songbird. Just ain’t fair to ‘em.”
Rainbow Dash worked her jaw from side to side, listening to her lover’s word and mulling them over. “I dunno, I kinda like the idea of a little farmhouse like this. It’s cozy, and can’t blow away in a storm. Well, not easily, at least,” she said with a wry little smile.
In spite of herself, Applejack looked up and cracked a small smile. “Fair point, Ah suppose.”
“Anything else?” the pegasus asked, slightly raising an eyebrow.
Applejack’s gaze dropped again. “What about when you become Wonderbolt?” she quietly asked.
Dash’s smile disappeared. That… was actually a good point. Wonderbolt Academy had kept her cloud-bound for a week, and when her friends – Applejack included – had come to visit her, they’d all nearly been killed. If she were to actually become a Wonderbolt…
Dash leaned in and nuzzled Applejack’s cheek. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. I’m sure that whatever happens, we’ll be able to make it work,” she softly observed, before adding: “If I become a Wonderbolt.”
Applejack nuzzled back, a small smile once again returning to her face. “There ain’t any ifs about it, sweetheart.”
The pegasus giggled into her marefriend’s ear. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.” She then pulled back, and smiled kindly. “Anyway, I get what you’re worried about. Stuff like this is common when pegasi and non-winged ponies get together. They worry about how they’ll make things work, whether or not they’ll bother or burden the other, yadda yadda. And it’s never as big of a problem as they think it’ll be.” Dash leaned in, and pecked Applejack on the cheek. “Trust me, it’ll all be alright. We’ll make things work, one way or another.”
Applejack returned the kiss to Dash’s own cheek. “Thanks darlin’. Hearin’ you say that… helps. A lot.”
“No problem,” Dash replied, before grinning lopsidedly again. “Also, if you’re worried so much about us not being able to visit my parents, there’s a pretty easy way to fix that.” Applejack raised an eyebrow, and Dash’s grin widened. “I can just invite them to come visit us.”
Applejack blinked a few times. “Huh. Well, Ah reckon that’d work, though Ah figured they wouldn’t wanna take the time an’ trouble ta come all the way out here.”
“Eh, they’ve been meaning to come visit me for a while. This just gives them a proper excuse,” Dash said with a flippant wave of a hoof. “Besides, I’m sure they’d love to meet you.”
“Hm.” Applejack brought a hoof up to her chin, and tapped it thoughtfully. “Think maybe they’d like to come over fer dinner, an’ meet the rest of mah family?”
Dash’s grin widened even further. “Oh yeah, I’m sure they’d love that. I’ll send a letter off to ‘em as soon as I can.”
“Alright,” the earth mare nodded, grinning as well. “In the meantime, Ah guess we’d best get back to workin’ on that cake.”
Dash nodded. “Sounds like a plan.” She began to pull her wing back, but paused briefly, before smirking.
Applejack narrowed her eyes. “What are you- ack!”
Dash had a feeling that teasing Applejack with her wings would never get old, and she let out a giggle of amusement as she swiftly ran her wingtip up and down the back of Applejack’s neck, sending a shiver through the earth mare. “Heh, you’re so fun to mess with.”
“Durn you and your feathery appendages,” Applejack grumbled in mock-annoyance, a small blush tinging her cheeks pink.
The pegasus chuckled, before extending her other wing, and raising both to Applejack’s face. Cupping her lover’s face between her wings, Dash smirked smugly. “You know you love them.”
Applejack grinned. “Yer right, Ah do,” she admitted, before turning her face a bit and nuzzling into one of the wings, trying to bury her face in the feathers.
Quick as a flash, both of Dash’s wings snapped back and folded against her sides. A small blush rose to Rainbow Dash’s face, her eyes slightly widened in surprise.
Applejack blinked in surprise. “Huh? Ah do somethin’ wrong?” she asked, audibly confused and a bit concerned.
“No no,” Dash shook her head, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m just, uh, well, my wings, they, uh…” she stammered, apparently having trouble finding the proper words to explain why she seemed so opposed to Applejack nuzzling her wings.
“Ah didn’t hurt ‘em or nothin’, did I?” Applejack asked.
“Oh, no, you didn’t hurt it,” the pegasus replied with another shake of her head. “It’s just, uh…”
“Is it like your hooves?”
“Huh?”
Applejack pointed down at Dash’s hooves. “You said you don’t like ponies touchin’ yer hooves. Same with yer wings?”
Dash stared for a moment, before slowly nodding. “Yeeeah, something like that.”
Applejack gave an apologetic smile. “Oh, alright. Sorry ‘bout that, then.”
The pegasus gave a small shrug of both her shoulders and wings. “It’s okay. I just, um… I’ll let you know when I’m okay with you touching my wings, alright?” she said, averting her gaze a bit, as if she was feeling awkward or something.
Applejack raised an eyebrow, but decided that it probably wasn’t a subject worth pursuing right now, especially if Dash seemed so uncomfortable about it. “Alrighty,” she said, before turning to trot back into the kitchen. “Anyhoo, let’s get started on that cake again, shall we?”
Dash nodded. “Yeah, sure, sounds good,” she said, before slowly letting a quiet sigh of relief.
That had been awkward But thankfully, she’d managed to avoid having to explain to Applejack – for the time being, at least – that she’d just tried to unknowingly initiate what most pegasi considered to be foreplay.
She also hoped, quite desperately, that any further weird or awkward moments like that wouldn’t happen in front of her parents while they were visiting. ‘Especially Mom.’ If that were to transpire, feeling awkward would be the least of their worries…
“Oh hush,” Granny Smith chided the squirming pegasus, yanking the bandages tighter around her wing. “Whinin’ like that ain’t gonna get you into the Wonderbolts.”
Rainbow Dash, seated at the table-turned-triage-center in the Apple family’s kitchen, gave the old mare a sidelong look. “I think the Wonderbolts’ medical teams have a little more- OW!” she yelped in pained surprise, as Granny Smith gave the bandages another very snug tug.
“A little more what, darling?” the little old granny asked with a smile of feigned innocence.
Dash laughed nervously. “A little more room for improvement, compared to your expert care,” she lied.
“Good to hear,” Granny Smith nodded, giving her a sly look. “Anyhoo, Ah think yer wing should be right as rain once them bandages an’ the healin’ salve do their work. Lay off the flyin’ an’ the rough-housin’ fer a day or so, though.” She narrowed her eyes, smirking knowingly. “You can lay off that stuff fer a little while, can’t ya darlin’?”
The injured pegasus laughed sheepishly. “Uh… probably?”
Granny Smith rolled her eyes. “Just go see Applejack. An’ come back if yer wing gives ya more trouble. I can spare a moment from cookin’ to make sure my grandbabies are alright,” she said as she turned her attention back towards the array of half-prepared meals on the counter and stovetop.
“Sure thing. Thanks a bunch, Granny,” Dash said, flashing a sincere smile. She still felt a little weird about Granny Smith referring to her as one of her own granddaughters. It had started a few weeks ago, shortly after they all agreed to the idea of Dash’s family coming to visit for a big dinner. Apparently introducing relatives makes you part of the family? Earth pony culture was strange like that, Dash theorized. But she was getting used to it, and she certainly didn’t mind it. It was nice to be considered part of the Apple Clan, even if she was the only member sporting a pair of wings.
With Granny Smith’s attention back on dinner preparations, Dash went ahead and took her leave, trotting through the doorway back into the farmstead’s living room. She found Applejack sitting on patiently on the sofa, a look of unease on her orange face. “Dash, I-”she started to speak, only to be cut off by Dash holding up a hoof.
“AJ. Seriously. It’s cool,” Dash sighed. “I already told you, it’s not that big a deal. It barely hurt. You just caught me off guard, is all. No biggie.”
“But-”
“But nothing,” Dash rolled her eyes, sitting down on the sofa next to her marefriend. “It was just a silly little accident, and I’m not mad or anything. I swear. I get what you were trying to do. You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”
“But-”
“Yes, my butt is awesome,” Dash quipped with a crooked grin, unfurling her good wing to drape it over Applejack and pull her into a close, feathery hug. “No need to tell me, but I’m not opposed to hearing more.”
Applejack’s look of unease disappeared, replaced by a mixture of amusement and exasperation. “Yer terrible.”
“And you still have hay in your hair.”
Applejack looked up. Sure enough, her mane was still full of hay, the random strands of straw almost camouflaged in her blond locks. A few stray pieces were also decorating her hat. “Eh,” the earth mare shrugged. “Was too worried about you to bother cleaning up.”
“AJ. Babe. I’m fine,” Dash assured her, giving her a comforting wing-squeeze. “A little bruised, sure, but I’ll be fine in no time. If anything, I’m sorry I couldn’t catch you when you lost your balance," she frowned.
“Eh, it’ll take more than a fall from a hay loft to put me outta commission,” Applejack shrugged. “Besides, the hay did a good job of catchin’ us both. Though, Ah gotta say…” her voice trailed off, a hint of playfulness appearing in her emerald eyes.
“Say what?”
Applejack smirked coyly. “Ah thought pegasi were supposed to be all light as a feather an’ whatnot. But it didn’t feel like a feather that landed on my back.”
Dash frowned indignantly. “Are you saying I need to lose weight?”
Applejack smirked playfully. “Naw. Just teasin’. Though Ah dunno if all them apple pies you scarf down would be considered a balanced diet.”
“Hey, I’m an athlete, and athletes need lots of calories, especially tasty ones,” Dash replied with a cheeky grin. “That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Alright, enough goofiness. We should probably get cleaned up before yer parents get here.”
It had been a few weeks since they’d discussed the idea of inviting Dash’s parents to visit. Dash had immediately written a letter to them about it, but they’d needed a bit of time to get their affairs in order. They’d be staying with her at her house for a few days, but upon immediate arrival, they’d be coming over to Sweet Apple Acres for a nice family dinner, so everyone could be properly introduced and get to know each other. Applejack and Dash had spent most of the day getting the farm properly cleaned up while Big Mac tended to the normal chores, and Granny Smith prepared a perfect dinner. Unfortunately, the fiasco with the hay loft had cost them a bit of time they probably needed for other stuff.
“Eh, don’t sweat it,” Dash said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “They shouldn’t be here for a few more hours. We’ve got plenty-”
The knock at the door caused the pegasus to slap her forehead with her hoof. Applejack gave Dash a deadpan look. “Well woudlja lookit that. Seems they’re early.”
“Naturally.”
“AH GOT IT!!” Apple Bloom hollered from upstairs. A short moment later, a small filly dressed in the black garb of a ninja appeared at the top of the stairs, quickly jumping onto the hoof-rail and sliding down it with expert precision. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS STEALTHY NINJ-!”
Apparently Apple Bloom was not destined for a Shinobi Cutie Mark. She managed to keep her balance for most of the slide, only to lose it near the bottom of the rail. With a yelp and quite a bit of hoof-flailing, she went tumbling off, bouncing across the floor a few times before slamming into the front door, knocking it open and rolling right out onto the porch. “Ah’m alright!” she weakly called from outside, before addressing whoever was outside the doorway. “Hey wait, yer not Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell. Oooooh, you must be Mister and Missus Dash! Y’all can go on in!”
In the living room, Rainbow Dash had her face buried in her hooves, while Applejack had merely pulled her hat down over her face, as they both made vain attempts to escape from the unfolding train wreck. “Tell me this isn’t happening…” the pegasus murmured, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Oh, it’s happening alright,” the voice of an aged stallion jovially replied.
“Earth ponies sure know how to give interesting welcomes,” the suave voice of an older mare coyly added.
Applejack lifted her hat, while Rainbow Dash lifted her face from her hooves. Despite how awkward things already were, Dash couldn’t help but smile as she looked up to see her parents. “Hey Mom, hey Dad.”
Two pegasi – one an older mare with bubblegum pink fur, purple eyes, and an electric blue mane, the other an older stallion with powder blue fur, amber eyes, and a rather colorful mane – were standing in the middle of the living room, both wearing saddle-bags and very amused smirks. “Hello Rainbow,” the stallion said jovially.
“Hi, darling,” the mare said, her smirk turning very coy and playful. “I’d ask for a hug, but somepony else seems to have beat me to it.”
“Huh?” Dash blinked, before realizing she still had her wing around Applejack. She blushed, quickly pulling it back against herself with a nervous laugh. “Oh. Ehehe. Here, let me fix that.” Hopping up, Dash quickly wrapped her forelegs around her parents to hug them, as the two older ponies returned the favor.
“Well ain’t that a heartwarmin’ sight,” Applejack observed with a playful smile.
The stallion pulled away from Dash’s hug, taking a step closer to AJ and flashing a warm grin. “You must be Applejack. It’s good to finally meet you. I’m Spectrum Dash, and this is my lovely wife, Firefly.”
“A pleasure,” Firefly nodded, pulling away from Dash’s embrace to focus on introductions.
“It’s nice ta meet y’all too,” Applejack nodded. “The little ball of energy ya saw was my sister Apple Bloom. Granny Smith is in the kitchen, and my brother Big Mac is out workin’ on chores.”
“Oh yes, we already met him,” Firefly observed with a merry smile. “He’s quite the courteous gentlestallion, if a bit taciturn.”
“Is he an athlete?” Spectrum inquired with a curious tilt of his head. “He’s got the body of one. He’d have a pretty promising career in hoofball, and I know some folks he could talk to about-“
With a bemused shake of her head, Firefly stepped in front of her husband to interrupt him. “Dashie here has told us all about you,” she observed, sound a bit playfully. “She had quite a bit to say about you during her last visit.”
“Oh? Like what?” Applejack asked, returning the playful tone and grin.
“Oooooh, lots of things,” Firefly purred with a sly smile. “There was one story involving the Running of the Leaves, and-”
Dash coughed and grinned awkwardly. “Wow, so, you’re both here early. Easy flight, huh?” she asked, trying to change the subject.
“We had the wind with us,” Firefly replied cheerfully. “So we made better time than expected. I hope our early arrival isn’t a problem.” She tilted her head a bit, eyeing the strands of hay poking out of Applejack’s mane and stuck all over her hat. The older mare narrowed her eyes a bit, and smirked mischievously. “Oh my. We didn’t interrupt a literal roll in the hay, did we?”
Spectrum let out a hearty laugh, while Applejack and Dash both flushed furiously. “MOM!!” Dash exclaimed in flustered horror.
The door to the kitchen swung open with impeccable timing, as Granny Smith shuffled in to see what all the racket was. “Ah take it our guests are early?” she asked as she entered, smiling politely at the two pegasi parents. “Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres. Ah’m Granny Smith, and it’s nice ta finally meetcha.”
Dash’s parents both turned away from the two blushing lovers, smiling warmly and nodding respectfully to the older earth mare. “It’s good to meet you too, Misses Smith,” Spectrum observed.
“You have such a lovely homestead. It’s good to see such flourishing agriculture,” Firefly observed happily.
Granny Smith eyed the pink mare curiously. “Oh? You’ve got an eye fer farmin’?”
“I’m part of the Equestrian Meteorological Service,” Firefly replied with a proud little smile. “I help to organize and plan weather patterns for certain districts, sending forecasts and orders to the various Weather Patrols in those areas. Ponyville included. And I’m quite happy to see the results of our agricultural productivity calculations with my own eyes, rather than just statistics on paper.”
“Oh?” Granny Smith’s eyes widened, and she grinned widely. “Well ain’t that somethin’. Now Ah know who ta write letters to when Ah wanna complain about when our crops ain’t big enough ta win at the County Fair,” she winked.
As Spectrum, Firefly, and Granny all burst into laughter, Applejack and Rainbow Dash both found themselves relaxing and smiling with relief. The initial awkwardness was past, and now both of their families seemed to be getting along great. They were laughing, joking, and enjoying the company of one another without any sort of trouble or conflict. Whatever worries the two young lovers had been feeling were quickly evaporating into thin air.
“Hey Rainbow,” Spectrum suddenly frowned, “What happened to your wing?”
All of those worries and concerns came crashing back into existence with a brutal vengeance. Applejack winced slightly, and Dash’s ears pinned back. “My, uh, wing? What about it?” she asked with an awkward smile of feigned obliviousness.
Spectrum’s frown only deepened. “Why’s it all bandaged?”
Firefly fluttered over to her daughter, looking quite concerned. “Oh my! I noticed you were favoring it a bit, dear, but I didn’t realize it was bandaged so extensively! What happened, dear?”
“Uh…” Dash gulped nervously. How was she going to-
“Accidents happen,” Granny Smith suddenly interjected nonchalantly, trying to disarm the situation with an air of casualness. “Ah already patched her up good with some herbal salve and bandages soaked in a healin’ brew. Ol’ earth pony remedy fer everythin’ from bruises to broken bones. She’ll be flyin’ in no time.”
That seemed to greatly relax Dash’s parents, but their eyes still held some concern and curiosity. “Well that’s good to know, at least,” Spectrum admitted.
“Indeed, but I’m still curious as to what happened,” Firefly said with a bit of worry.
“Uh, well, I, uh,” Dash fumbled over her words, trying to come up with a believable story.
“She crashed,” Applejack suddenly interjected with an aloof shrug. “No biggie.” She wasn’t lying! Falling out of a hay loft on top of your lover is still technically crashing!
“She crashed?!!?” Dash’s parents both asked in unison, eyes wide and jaws dropped in shocked disbelief.
Rainbow Dash turned and gave Applejack a mortified look of horror. That was the furthest thing from a believable story!
“Yeah, uh,” Applejack blinked in surprise, trying to find a way to salvage this. “While, uh, doin’ a trick. Just like last time.”
“Last time?!”
Oops. “Yeah, uh, when she was in the hospital?”
“HOSPITAL!?” Spectrum and Firefly both asked, aghast. They turned their attention back to Rainbow Dash, who was staring at Applejack in terrified disbelief.
“When were you in the hospital dear?”
“What on earth happened?”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
“How bad was it?”
“Was it sprained?”
“Broken?”
“Do you need to go have it looked at now?”
“Where’s the nearest doctor?”
“Mom! Dad!” Dash finally exclaimed with a wave of her hooves, trying to rebuff their constant assault of worried questions and concerned prodding. “I’m fine, I swear! It’s just a little bruised! No sprain, no breaks, nothing serious! See?”
To demonstrate how fine her wing was, Dash unfurled the offending limb and began to wave it around. Of course, Dash didn’t realize that as she began to wave it, part of the bandaging popped loose.
Granny Smith gave an exasperated roll of her eyes, well aware of what was about to happen.
Dash continues to wave her wing around, almost frantically, in an attempt to prove to her parents it was perfectly fine. She was so focused on convincing them, and not showing any of the annoying pain she was feeling, that she remained completely oblivious to the fact that the bandages were coming loose and starting to unravel. A short moment later, the bandages finally flew free, leaving her wing completely exposed.
And revealing a rather large bruise in the perfect shape of a bite-mark.
“See?” Dash grinned awkwardly.
Spectrum and Firefly stared. Applejack pulled her hat down over her crimson-colored face, clearly wishing the sofa would just eat her. And Granny Smith merely shook her head, waiting for Dash to realize the bandages were gone.
It took another four seconds of confusion for Dash to look back at her wing and realize why her parents were staring. “ACK!!” She quickly pulled her wing back close to her body, and blushed furiously.
Firefly smirked impishly. “It also looks like you take after your father.”
Now it was Spectrum’s turn to blush, as both he and Dash looked at Firefly in horror. “BABE/MOM!!” they both screeched in shock and embarrassment.
Applejack sank further down on the sofa, wishing she had a bigger hat to hide behind. Granny Smith just turned to head back to the kitchen, cackling all the while. And outside the living room window, the Ninja Mark Crusaders were having a very quiet but heated debate amongst themselves as to whether wing-biting was a legal wrestling move or not.
