• Published 3rd Aug 2012
  • 9,385 Views, 360 Comments

A Dash of Apple - Lycan_01

Applejack tries to teach Rainbow Dash how to cook. Naturally, disaster and awkwardness result.

  • ...

Truth and Consequence

Applejack sighed. She knew what she had to do. As awkward and as uncomfortable as it was, she knew she had to talk to Big Mac about what had happened.

After Dash had left, the earth pony had trotted out into the orchard to look for her big brother. It hadn’t taken long to locate him. After all, it was kind of hard to miss the hulking red stallion. It seemed he was just casually trotting around the orchard, a pensive look on his face as he passed between the rows of apple trees. He seemed to fail to notice Applejack trotting up behind him. That, or he was ignoring her.

With a quiet sigh, Applejack came to a halt, and called out to her brother. “Ah’m sorry.”

Big Mac froze mid-step. The red pony calmly turned around to look back at his sister, the expression on his face neutral. He studied her for a moment, before smiling softly. “Nothin’ to apologize for,” he replied, his deep voice carrying a consoling tone to it.

Applejack hadn’t expected that. She’d expected there to be more awkward stammering or angry yelling, not a calm, placid response. “Wait, what?” she asked, tilting her head to the side in confusion. “Yer… Yer not gonna flip out? Be all awkward? Yell at me or nothin’ like that?”

Big Macintosh smiled. It was not a small nervous smile, like Applejack would have expected, but rather a warm and affectionate smile. “Nope,” he flatly replied. “No real reason to.”

“But… you… Ah…” Applejack muttered. “Ah mean, ya ran out of there like-“

The red stallion let out a deep, hearty chuckle. “Hah! Ah ran out ‘cuz it was awkward!” he said with a grin. “Ya think Ah would have stuck around if it was a stallion instead? Naw, Ah woulda run out just as fast.”

Applejack smiled nervously. “Heh, yeah, guess that makes sense. So…” her gaze drifted towards the ground. She was still worried about how he felt about her, and her… interests. “So… are you… bothered? About me-“

Big Mac didn’t even let her finish. “Nope,” he stated firmly with a shake of his head. “Ah ain’t bothered one bit. Who you wanna court is your business, and none of mah concern. Some ponies may take offense, but Ah sure as fire ain’t one ‘em. Ah’m just happy you could find somepony who makes ya happy.”

Applejack smiled softly. “Thanks, Big Mac. Yer an awesome brother. Y’know that, right?”

Big Mac smirked. “Eeyup.”

The orange mare mirrored his smirk. “Yer gonna mess with me ‘bout this forever, ain’t ya?”


“Figures,” Applejack sighed with a roll of her eyes. “Guess Ah deserve it, though, after embarrassin’ ya like that…” Her expression then turned grave. “Y’all ain’t gonna say nothin’ to Granny Smith or Apple Bloom, are you?” she asked warily.

The crimson stallion shook his head. “Nope!”

“Good,” Applejack said with a small sigh of relief. “Ah would hate to know how they’d react if she found out Ah was a fillyfooler. Though, Ah dunno if Ah’m technically a fillyfooler, since Ah like stallions too. Think Ah prefer them actually, but Dash…” she muttered thoughtfully. “Well, she’s a different story.”

Big Mac rolled his eyes. “Too much information, Sis.”

The orange mare shrugged. “Just bein’ honest. Anyhoo, we should probably get back to the farm, and get the kitchen cleaned up before Granny Smith gets back from town.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac agreed with a nod. And with that, the two siblings quickly trotted back through the orchard, heading back home.

Unbeknownst to them, however, they had not been alone. By sheer luck, or lack thereof, a third pony had been present. A small yellow filly, who was sitting up in a nearby apple tree looking at caterpillars, in hopes of getting her Etymology Cutie Mark. She hadn’t heard the whole conversation since she was focused on attempting to study the insect larvae, but she’d heard a few specific words. Words that had confused her.

The little filly had continued to study the caterpillars for a little while after Applejack and Big Mac had left. She eventually grew bored and discouraged, and decided to give up for today. Her thoughts returned to the conversation she’d overheard earlier, and the words that had confused her. One word in particular.

“What’s a fillyfooler?” Apple Bloom asked aloud. She then began to climb down the tree, pondering aloud as she descended the branches. “Applejack and Big Mac said somethin’ about cleaning up, so Ah better not bother them. But Ah bet Granny Smith will know. Yeah, Ah’ll go ask her…”

Rainbow Dash was happy. Very happy indeed. This was possibly one of the happiest days of her life. And she made this happiness loud and clear by flying as fast as her wings could carry her, a massive grin on her face as she flew over Ponyville on her way back home. “Yes yes yes!” she exclaimed excitedly to herself. “This is so awesome! I can’t believe-“

“Can’t believe what?” a cheerful voice suddenly inquired from right above her.

“Pinkie?!” Dash exclaimed in shocked confusion, immediately recognizing the familiar voice. She immediately looked up at the speaker, and her eyes went wide upon seeing her pink friend flying above her with some sort of bizarre contraption. It looked like a pair of metal wings made of bronze feathers, powered by gears and springs and other mechanisms. “What… what in Celestia’s name is that?!” the pegasus stammered.

“Oh, these? Clockwork wings,” Pinkie cheerfully replied. “Not to be confused with Steampunk.”

Dash just stared, incredulous. She began to slow her speed down, but continued to fly along at a brisk pace. Pinkie didn’t seem to be having any trouble keeping up. “Okay then. Mad pony science aside, what are you doing up here?”

“Oh, I saw you flying, and I thought I’d say hi,” the pink mare replied in her typically bubbly fashion. “You seem like you’re in a good mood! A super good mood! What’s up?”

Dash blushed slightly. “Oh, uh, nothing really. I’m just, y’know, having a good day.”

Pinkie’s smile faded, and she raised an eyebrow. “Are you suuuuure? Because I’m fairly certain there’s more to it than that. I can sense it. This is more than just a good day, isn’t it?”

Dash really hated Pinkie’s weird sixth senses and reality breaking abilities sometimes. “Nah, I’m pretty sure I’m just having a plain old good day,” she shrugged casually.

Pinkie immediately pulled a small deerstalker cap and a bubble pipe from behind her back. She put on the hat, stuck the pipe in her mouth, and narrowed her eyes at Dash. “No, I believe there is more this than meets the eye, my dear Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie observed with a heavy British accent.

“And I believe you’re wrong,” Dash replied with an aloof shrug. She was trying her best to act calm and natural, and avoid suspicion. But this was making her nervous. Letting Pinkie know the truth behind her good mood seemed like kind of a bad idea. She was sure Pinkie would be cool with her and AJ being together, but still, explaining it would be all sorts of awkward. Did Pinkie even know how dating and stuff worked? And plus, AJ probably didn’t want anypony else knowing about what had happened. So, no matter what, Pinkie couldn’t know.

“I believe that you believe wrong!” Pinkie replied with a cheeky grin. She blew a few bubbles out of the pipe, before playfully asking: “So, you and Applejack, huh? How’d that turn out?”

And in that moment, Dash felt part of her soul die.

Granny Smith had spent most of the day out and about Ponyville. She’d spent much of the time running the family’s apple stall, and once the day’s supply had sold out, she’d gone around visiting friends. Late in the afternoon, she returned back to Sweet Apple Acres, looking forward to a relaxing evening and a glass of sweet tea.

Upon returning to the farmstead, she immediately headed for the kitchen. Upon opening the door, she was greeted the sight of Applejack and Big Macintosh cleaning up a rather wrecked kitchen. The stovetop was scorched, and the counters and floor were covered in ash and fire extinguisher foam. Both siblings turned to look back at her with wide-eyes and cleaning items in their mouths.

Applejack immediately spat out a small dustpan, and smiled sheepishly. “Oh, hey there Granny! How was yer day?”

“Oh, fine,” Granny Smith replied with a cheerful smile. She didn’t acknowledge the culinary carnage before her old eyes. “Dropped by Sugarcube Corner to talk to the Cakes. Saw yer friend Pinkie, too. She was buildin’ some sort of fancy flyin’ machine. She’s so random…”

Big Mac spat out a broom, and nodded in agreement. “Eeyup.”

Granny Smith slowly moved over to the refrigerator. As she opened it up and began to root around in it, she idly asked: “So who made the mess?”

“Me,” Applejack sighed. “Ah was tryin’ to show Rainbow Dash how to make pancakes, and things got… kinda out of hoof.”

“Eeyup,” Big Mac said with a smirk. Applejack looked back and glared fiercely at him. The smirk remained on his face.

“Oh, well, as long as nopony got hurt, it ain’t a problem…” the feeble old mare replied, her head buried in the fridge. “Oh durn, we’re out of tea.” Applejack and Big Mac exchanged glances. Granny Smith proceeded to retreat from within the appliance, and shut the refrigerator door. “Well, y’all have fun cleanin’ up. I’m gonna go sit down fer a spell. Couldja make some tea when yer done?”

“Sure, no problem,” Applejack smiled.

“Thank you, Applejack. Yer such a good grandfilly…” the old mare observed lovingly. She then shuffled on back into the living room, leaving AJ and Big Mac to their cleaning duties.

About thirty seconds later, Apple Bloom barged into the kitchen through the back door. “Hey, y’all seen Granny Smith?” she asked excitedly. “Ah got a question for her!” Applejack and Big Mac both nodded towards the living room, their mouths once again filled with cleaning items. “Thanks!”

The young little filly bounded through the kitchen and into the farmhouse’s den, shutting the door behind her. Granny Smith was idly reclining in her rocking chair, simply relaxing with her eyes half-open, slowly rocking back and forth. However, her eyes widened when she noticed Apple Bloom, and a smile formed on her old face. “Why hello thar! How was yer day, sweetie?” she asked kindly.

“Pretty good,” Apple Bloom replied with a grin. “No luck on my Etymology Cutie Mark, though. Anyhoo, Ah got a question for ya, Granny.”


Apple Bloom, with all the innocence of a naïve and stupid child, cheerfully asked: “What’s a fillyfooler?”

Granny Smith immediately stopped rocking, and her smile disappeared. “Now where’d you hear such a term?” she asked disapprovingly.

Apple Bloom obliviously smiled. “Oh, Ah heard Applejack and Big Mac say it earlier, talkin’ ‘bout Sis bein’ one. Ah thought Ah’d ask you ‘bout it since they’re busy. So wassit mean?”

Granny Smith smiled lovingly down at her grandchild. “Apple Bloom, why don’t you go play with yer friends. We can talk about this some other time.” Her tone was reserved, polite, but also somewhat stern. It was the tone she used when Apple Bloom did not need to argue or ask questions, but just do as she was told.

Apple Bloom sighed, slightly disappointed by the lack of answers. “Aw, alright. Ah’ll go see what Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo are up to.”

“Try to be back before dark,” Granny Smith instructed her, giving a little wave.

“Alrighty. Bye Granny!” the filly returned the wave, before racing out the front door.

“Bye!” the old mare called out after Apple Bloom. Once she was gone, she turned to look across the room, and glared at the door to the kitchen. “Applejack!” she barked authoritatively. “Get in here. NOW.”

“Welllllll?” Pinkie asked, leaning in so that she was eye-to-eye with Rainbow Dash, their faces barely inches apart. “Spill!”

“H-h-how?!” the rainbow-maned pegasus stammered, utterly horrified. “How could you know-“

Pinkie giggled. “Silly Rainbow Dash! All the clues are so obvious!” Still clad in Sherlock Holmes regalia and speaking with a British accent, she explained. “You’re clearly in a very very good mood. Like, one of the best moods you’ve ever been in. Your body language, posture, facial expressions, eyes movements, and other small signifiers show that you’re very happy, relaxed, and excited. You’re flying in the opposite direction of Sweet Apple Acres at a slight incline, indicating you just left there. You have a faint scent of apples about you, indicating you were in rather close proximity with Applejack. Or maybe you just ate a lot of apples – one or the other. Annnnnnnnnd…. you wouldn’t have reacted like that if it wasn’t true!” she proclaimed with a massive grin.

Rainbow Dash stared, her jaw hanging agape. Pinkie had simply made an educated guess, and Dash had proved her right by freaking out. It was her own fault Pinkie knew. The pegasus raised her hooves to her eyes, and shook her head. “Oh I can’t believe I just did that…” she muttered, lowering her head in frustration and shame. “Stupid stupid stupid. Applejack is gonna kill me…”

Out of all the ponies in Ponyville, Pinkie Pie was typically the least serious. However, on rare occasions, she was smart enough to realize that silliness and playfulness were not the appropriate response to certain situations, and some things needed to be approached in a very serious manner.
And Pinkie knew that this was one of those times were she needed to stop being silly for a moment. Her grin faded, and she paused to toss the hat and pipe aside. “Aw, don’t be upset, Dashie,” she said softly, dropping the funny accent and gently raising a hoof to rest on the hovering pegasus’ shoulder. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of or anything. I’m not judging you, and I never will. The same goes for Applejack! I promise. As long as you and AJ are happy, that’s all that matters,” she said comfortingly. “I’m sorry if I wasn’t supposed to know. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble. I’m sorry…”

Rainbow Dash lowered her hooves and looked up at the pink pony. After a moment, she gave a small smile. “Thanks, Pinkie. Y’know, you’re a really good friend. But, it’s like… I don’t care if you know I like mares and stuff. I really don’t care what most ponies think about that. I’m cool like that. But… Well, I don’t think Applejack wants anypony else to know. It’s probably something she’s not comfortable sharing. Or at least, it’d be safer to assume that until she says otherwise.”

“Ah, I getcha…” Pinkie nodded thoughtfully. “Well, your secret – or rather AJ’s secret – is safe with me. I’ll even Pinkie Promise if you want.”

Dash’s smile grew into a smirk as she watched her friend go through the crazy ritual of the Pinkie Promise. “Thanks, Pinkie. I really appreciate it.”

Pinkie suddenly flew a circle around Dash with her mechanical wings, before flashing another large grin. “Hey, you still haven’t answered my question! How’d it go?”

The blue pegasus grinned from ear to ear. “Well, all we really did was kiss, and then I asked her on a date. She said yes, and-“

Pinkie gasped. “A date?! That’s totally awesome! Where are you going to go?”

Dash opened her mouth to reply, but then closed it and frowned. “Uh, I don’t know, actually. I haven’t thought that far yet.”

“Oooo! Oo oo oo! What if I put something together for you?” the pink mare asked excitedly.

The cyan pegasus shook her head and smiled. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think a party would be a good idea, and Sugarcube Corner isn’t the most romantic locale.”

“True…” Pinkie mused. She began to rub her chin thoughtfully, staring off into space. Her eyes held a look of fierce determination as she pondered. “What if… Nah, AJ doesn’t like the tuba. Hmm… Oh, oh, what if- Wait, no, you hate mayonnaise,” she muttered. Dash scowled in agreement. Pinkie then flashed a grin, and triumphantly declared: “Eureka! I got it!”

“Oh? Whatcha got?” Dash replied, raising an eyebrow.

Pinkie grinned mischievously, and motioned for her to lean in and listen.

Applejack slowly entered the living room. Her expression was neutral, her face completely blank. “Yes, Granny?” she calmly asked, her voice deadpan and devoid of emotion. She had a very bad feeling about this. A very very bad feeling, considering the day’s events. There was no way Granny could know, right? Right? Surely not.

That didn’t stop her life from flashing before her eyes as she slowly approached her grandmother.

Granny Smith narrowed her eyes at the orange mare standing in front of her. “What is this I hear about you likin’ mares?” she asked, her tone even but slightly accusatory.

Applejack was, for all intents and purposes, a terrible liar. Absolutely horrible at it. But, in moments of extreme importance, like matters of life and death, she could force herself to be deceptive with some degree of effectiveness. Hopefully, this was one of those moments. The blonde mare summoned up every ounce of willpower she had, and focused it all on keeping a straight face and a calm, steady voice. “Golly gee, Ah don’t know,” she flatly replied, feigning ignorance, “What is it that you heard, exactly?”

“That’s exactly what I heard,” Granny Smith answered back, narrowing her eyes further and leaning forward towards Applejack. “Somethin' about you bein' a fillyfooler. Now be honest with me. Yes or no. Is it true?”

Well darn. Ironclad willpower or not, there was no way she could flat-out lie when the question was so direct. Applejack sighed, and lowered her head to stare at the floor. “Yes…” she muttered softly. “It’s true…”

“I see…” Granny Smith said, leaning back in her rocking chair. “Hmph. And is there a specific mare? You ain’t already courtin’ one, is ya?”

Applejack uncomfortably shifted her weight from side to side. “Well… Sorta. We’re not really courting yet,” she murmured, before raising a hoof to pull her hat down over her face. “But she did ask me out, and, well, Ah said yes...”

“Well?” Granny Smith growled. “Who is it?”

“It’s… um… Rainbow Dash…” Applejack sighed.

“I can’t believe it…” the older mare shook her head, visibly ashamed. “I just can’t believe that one of my grandfillies would actually start courtin’ another mare… and not tell me the good news.”

Applejack tilted her hat back a bit, and looked up at her grandmother in confusion. “Wait, wut?”

Granny Smith rolled her eyes. “What, ya think I’d be mad or somethin’ over you havin’ a thing for mares? Nah, you silly filly!” she grinned. “I’m happy for ya! I just wish you’d been comfortable enough to tell me yerself. Kinda hurts my feelings a bit. But I can see why you’d be scared to say anything. Oh well! Still good to hear ya done found somebody to be happy with, or at least try to be happy with.”

Applejack just stared. This totally wasn’t where she saw this conversation going. At all.

“Now, any idea what her favorite foods are?” Granny Smith asked with a grin.

Applejack blinked a few times, slightly confused. “Uh, not sure. Why?”

“Why, fer dinner of course,” the old earth pony replied with a flippant hoof wave. “It’d be rude not to invite yer li'l Dashie over fer a big family meal, now that y’all are gonna be courtin’ and whatnot. Do you know if she’s free tomorrow evening?”

“Family dinner…?” Applejack muttered, dumbfounded. Inviting Dash over for a family dinner was... Well, she wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that. Dash already knew her family, although more as acquaintances than as actual friends. And if they were going to start dating, then yeah, eventually Dash would have to get to know her family better, and vice versa. And having a nice dinner with Dash, even if her family was involved, was not an unappealing idea.

But at the same time, the idea of a big dinner with Dash and her family seemed like it could easily prove problematic, if not disastrous. Dash would likely be uncomfortable with the idea, as she probably wasn’t a fan of big proper family dinners and stuff. Plus, she’d probably feel like she had to behave a certain way, make a proper impression, or avoid saying something wrong. And somehow, inevitably, there would be awkwardness. A slip of the tongue, an odd question from Apple Bloom, or some other random thing would cause the whole thing to devolve into a rather awkward or uncomfortable situation.

“Well?” Granny Smith asked. “D’ya know if she’s free?”

“Um… Ah suppose Ah could ask her tomorrow. She’s comin’ back over for another cookin’ lesson,” Applejack replied with a shrug.

“Oh, alrighty then,” the older mare smiled. “So do you know any of her favorite meals?”

Applejack smirked and shook her head. “Other than pancakes, nope.” A thought suddenly crossed her mind. “Hey wait a tick. How’d you hear about me likin’ mares anyway?”

“Oh, Apple Bloom overheard some of what you and Big Mac were sayin’ earlier, apparently,” Granny Smith replied casually. “She wanted to know what a fillyfooler was, since she heard you referred to as one.”

Applejack’s ears fell back, and she frowned guiltily. “Oh, she heard that did she? Um… did you tell her?”

“Nah,” the elderly earth pony shook her head. “I sent her off to play with her friends.”

Applejack paled slightly. Apple Bloom was a very inquisitive pony. Granny Smith had not answered her question, which meant she would ask somepony else. Which meant she would ask her friends. And if they didn’t know, they would find somepony else to ask. One of Apple Bloom’s best friends was Sweetie Belle. And Sweetie Belle’s sister was-

With a loud gasp of horror, Applejack immediately began to gallop towards the front door. "Ah gotta go BYE!!" she yelped frantically as she departed at breakneck speed.

“Have fun!” Granny Smith feebly waved after her, completely oblivious to Applejack’s shock and distress, and the potential disaster looming on the horizon.