“Ah, here we are!” Rarity sang as we walked into the apartment. It was completely barren at the moment, but it had a plush gray carpet and a stunning view of Manehatten from its windows. I looked around at the bare walls, slate gray in color and felt a tiny stab of sadness despite the smile on my face.
Rarity was moving away. Not forever, I’m sure, but Manehatten was over two hours away. Not a terribly long distance by any means, but still far enough that I couldn’t just hop over like I could when we all lived in Canterlot. It was going to be tough, and I knew that, but this was a big chance for her, and I would never take that from her.
“Oh, and you simply must see the patio, Fluttershy dear,” she said, practically skipping across the room to open a door that led outside.
I followed, looking out at the city as she slid her arm around my waist. I felt the breeze ruffle my hair and for a moment I thought I knew what an eagle must feel like in their eyries, so high up and protected from everything.
“Oh, I simply have so much to do,” my fashionista continued, gliding back inside and glancing around, holding up a pair of fingers as though framing a picture. “I have to set up the bedroom and the workspace. Oh! Do you think we should arrange for some food to be delivered?”
I twisted a lock of my hair around my fingers, not out of nervousness as much as habit. After everything we’d been through, I had trouble feeling nervous around my friends anymore. Especially Rarity.
“What were you thinking?” I asked, feeling my tummy growl a little. “Maybe something light since we’ll be bringing boxes up later?”
“True," she said, scrolling along her phone’s screen, giving a few errant locks of her royal purple hair a toss over her shoulder. “Perhaps some Neighponese take out? There’s a place just down the way from here.”
“That sounds delightful,” I said as I slung my purse over my shoulder. “Oh, I hope they have zaru soba.”
“Is that the one with the flat noodles?” Rarity asked.
“No, it’s made with buckwheat noodles,” I replied, feeling a bit of excitement at the prospect. “They’re served drained on bamboo strainers with a sauce or broth on the side. You pick them up and dip them before eating. I find it tastier than udon dishes because the noodles don’t get soggy sitting in the broth too long. Or maybe some real ramen!”
Rarity just shook her head as we entered the elevator. I looked at her.
“What is it?”
She smiled and leaned over to kiss me.
“You’re simply adorable, Care Bear.”
I flushed at the nickname, though it did set off butterflies in my belly.
I set my purse and keys on the table next to the door, flicking on a light overhead as I walked into my room. Mom and Dad were out tonight to celebrate his retirement and Zephyr - thankfully - was out somewhere.
I sat on the edge of my bed and untied my sneakers before setting them on my shoe rack. I sighed and picked up the framed picture of Rarity and I from my nightstand and fell back onto my bed.
I smiled as I looked at the picture. It had been taken at a carnival shortly after we had returned. We were both grinning madly at the camera which had been held by Twilight at the time. I had a bottle of water and Rarity was holding a paper plate containing a funnel cake that we had split.
I pulled my phone from my jeans pocket, dialing Rarity. She picked up after a few rings.
“Hey,” I said softly, staring at her glass encased face. “Just wanted to let you know I made it home ok. I miss you.”
“I miss you too, Care,” she whispered and I could hear a hint of something in her voice that I easily recognized. Loneliness. She was alone in a small apartment in a city hours away from her friends and for the first time, on her own. No parents, no Sweetie Belle for company, she didn't even have Opal there.
“Are you available for lunch tomorrow?” She asked before her voice faltered. “No, tomorrow’s Wednesday, you have the inspection at the shelter, don’t you?”
“Yeah,” I said sadly. “Maybe Thursday?”
“Sadly, I have orientation that day,” she said sadly.
I felt my heart drop a bit. “Friday?”
“Possibly, it depends on the schedule they hand out Thursday.” Rarity sighed. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy darling, I truly am.”
“It’s ok, Rarity,” I lied, trying to sound cheery. “It was just bad timing. I’m sure we can get together this weekend and you can tell me all about your class schedule and I can let you know about mine when it starts.”
“Alright, then,” she said. “So, what classes are you taking, again? I remember you saying that you hadn’t quite decided the last time we spoke on it.”
We chatted idly for a while, dancing around the issue of distance between us. I held the phone long after we had ended the call, the final words spoken echoing in my ears.
“Goodbye, darling. I love you.”
Goodbye
I managed not to cry. We had spoken those words hundreds of times even before we started to date. But still, my mind managed to dredge up all sorts of horrid scenarios because, despite my increasing self-confidence, there were still those voices from my past, taunting me with that chant.
Will Always Cry
A soft tapping at my door preceded my mother sticking her head in. She looked at me through her glasses and came to sit by me on the bed.
“Is everything alright, dear?” She asked patting me on my outstretched hand.
I nodded. “It’s just going to be tough adjusting to college,” I said. “Rarity’s in Manehattan and Dash going to be in the same area. I’m so used to seeing everyone every day, or to just ask them if they want to grab lunch. Now we’re going to have to schedule everything in advance.”
Mom smiled and adjusted a lock of my pink hair. “I know that’s going to be tough, honey, but that’s how life is sometimes,” she smiled. “I remember one time when your father and I were dating we didn’t see each other for a whole month, we were so busy.”
“How did you stand that?” I asked.
Her eyes went a little distant. “We wrote daily, and called when we could,” she laughed. His handwriting was so wretched sometimes I could barely read it, but I was so timid he could sometimes barely hear me on the phone if you can believe that.”
She leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. “If it’s supposed to be,” she said. “Then just trust yourself and Rarity. Sometimes if you force something, you might break it.”
We heard the door bang open downstairs. “I’m home!” Zephyr called out.
“Case in point,” Mom said, sighing. She patted my hand again. “Sleep tight, Fluttershy.”
“Good night, Mom,” I said in reply.
Trust. I trusted Rarity implicitly. And she trusted me. I just had to stop myself from worrying too much.
"It just isn't fair," I said, picking at my lunch after I put down the phone. I had tried to call Rarity to see how her day had been going and my call had been shunted to voice mail after a few rings. "It feels wrong to have lunch without her."
"Ah know the feeling, sugar cube," Applejack said as she tore a large bite out of an apple. "Us getting together without Rarity, RD, Sunset, or Twilight just seems plum strange."
Aria slid into the booth with a plate of shrimp and a fish fillet. "Well, I'm sure Sunset and Twilight would be here if they weren't off on their honeymoon at the moment."
I smiled at the thought. They were so cute together and deserved some happiness.
"And, not to hurt your feelings or anything, AJ," she continued. "Rainbow isn't exactly exempt from our lunches."
"She's three hours away!" the farmer protested.
Aria rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone and shot off a text, glancing at me. "Time it," she muttered.
I glanced at my watch, noting the time.
"Mah point is," AJ said without pausing. "This is going to be a different time fer us. We may not get to see each other as much for the immediate futures and we should try to tough it out."
"It's hard," I whispered. None of them knew why it was as hard as it was for me except Rainbow. Not that I didn't trust them, of course.
I just didn't like thinking on those days.
Aria reached over and patted my hand. Ever since she and Pinkie had gotten together she had really opened up.
"I think I know what you mean," she started to say when she was cut off by a rush of wind. Rainbow leaned back in the booth'a bench with her arm over Applejack's shoulders and the girl's Stetson on her head.
"Sup, guys?" She asked before stealing a fry from her girlfriends tray.
Aria looked at me while AJ blushed.
"Four minutes," I said, giggling a little at Rainbiw's confused look. I pulled my phone out as it rang wih Rarity's ringtone.
"Hi Rarity!" I answered excitedly.
"Hello, Fluttershy," she responded in a similar fashion. "I'm terribly sorry I missed your call earlier, I was in the other room and didn't get to it in time."
"It's ok," I said. "I just wanted to see how your day was going."
"Oh, just splendidly," she replied. "Especially now that I've heard your voice, Care Bear."
I blushed at the nickname. I don't know why she called me that but if I were to be honest, I didn't care, either.
"I do," her voice said, dropping a little. "Have one unfortuneate bit of news."
"Oh?" I asked, a small trace of worry building up inside.
"I'm afraid I may not be able to make our lunch date Sunday," she said sadly. "I never expected there to be so much to do in the early days of the school. They want sketches of ten different designs and at least two mock ups by Tuesday morning. Can you believe that? As though inspiration could just be summoned like that!"
"I could come up to your apartment," I offered. "We don't have to go out."
"But I'm afraid I would be a terrible host, darling," she said as a bell rang in the background. "If I concentrated on you I'd be fretting about the dresses and if I worked on the dresses I'd be neglecting you. I have to go, next class is starting soon. I'll call you tonight, alright?"
"Ok," I said quietly, hanging up the phone.
"Everything alright?" Aria asked.
I put a smile on my face as I looked at her. "Of course," I said with a cheery manner. "Rarity just needed to ask about changing the time of our lunch date." I picked up my tray and stood.
"Ya ain't hardly touched your food, Shy," AJ said.
"My eyes were bigger than my stomach, I'm afraid," I said. "See you all after class!"
And I went to go bus my tray so I could find a private space to cry.
"Argh!" I shouted as I wadded up yet another piece of paper and tossed it into my wastebasket. Nothing was coming into my head. I had been working furiously for hours now to come up wih the sketches and I kept coming up with horrible ideas. I had already decided to cheat a little and use the sketches of the bridesmaid dresses for Sunset and Twilights wedding as well as Cadences wedding to give me a tiny buffer but it was though my mind was a thousand miles away tonight.
"More like a hundred and thirty," I whispered to myself, removing my glasses and leaned back against my couch. After a few moments I rose to go fix myself something to drink when there was a knock at my door.
"Rainbow?" I asked as I opened it to admit my friend. "Whatever do I owe the pleasure?"
"I'm worried about Fluttershy," she said, tossing her coat over the back of my armchair and turning a hard look at me. "She's not taking the separation well."
"I do hate the distance," I admitted. "I wish I could see her everyday like we used to, but this is a big chance for me, I can't just throw it out!"
"I'm not saying you have to, Rares," she said pulling out her phone. "But look what the call from earlier did to her."
I took the proffered device, a picture of Fluttershy from behind. She was slumped, shoulders hunched in as she tried to make herself seem smaller like she had in the early days of high school.
"Oh, Fluttershy," I whispered. "I did this?" A tear welled up in my eye.
"In a way," Rainbow said, taking her phone back. "Do you know how many times you've cancelled or rescheduled on her since school started up? Four times in as many weeks, Rarity. That's not fair to her or you."
"That's easy for you to say!" I snapped. "You can see Applejack whenever you please. It's not as easy for the rest of us."
"I know," she said softly. "And I hate that I can't share this with my friends. I want to spend as much time with her as I can, but we both have responsibilities and as much as I wish I could zip back and forth between practices and lessons just to steal a kiss I know I shouldn't. I have to buckle down and focus on what's in front of me at the moment so I can enjoy my free time with my conscience clear."
I sniffled. "She was so confident when I left," I whispered. "That we could handle the distance."
"She's good at putting up a strong front," the svelt athlete said. "But she can't fool me. We've been friends for longer than I've know the rest of you. You know how she used to be bullied?"
"I know about the boy and the dance, yes."
"It's worse than that, Rarity," she said as we sat down. "Almost every day she'd be pushed around or picked on, and that damned stupid chant would pop up out of nowhere." She sighed. "First time I saw her, she was being pushed around by two older boys outside the school, taunting her, and she was already crying."
I felt my heart crack a little for her, even though I knew she was beyond those times now.
"I put my fist into the eye of the bigger of the two and stood between them," she said, locking eyes with me. "Told them I they wanted to pick on her, they'd have to deal with me first. It took a while - and more than a few detentions for me - but they stopped picking on her, but the damage was done.
"She is a great girl, Rarity," she continued before standing up and slipping on her jacket. "But there's this huge crack in her mind that the only way to protect is to draw away. She's put herself out there, it's up to you to help fill in that gap."
I sat there staring into the night a long time after she left before grabbing my purse and keys.
I knew I should call her, but something told me it wouldn't be enough.
I sat at my desk, the pencil in my grip gently brushing over the paper, shading in the hair of the character I was drawing. Once I had completed that, I glanced at the whole for a moment, checking to see if I had managed to copy the general likeness of a favorite character from my favorite manga, Wings.
I growled when I saw that I had drawn her in such a way that resembled Rarity. I prepared to trash the sheet but stopped, instead taking up the eraser I had sitting to the side and instead removed a few lines. With a few strokes, I was looking at my love, rendered in my own drawing style, though I don't think I captured her eyes just right.
I sniffed, feeling a wave of tears mustering to march forth as they had most of the afternoon when I wasn't wearing the mask for my friends, playing the new and stronger Fluttershy, the one that didn't cry at the slightest provocation and wasn't afraid of silly things.
Like being forgotten.
"Why?" I whispered to the drawing. I had stayed up to talk with Rarity on the phone like she had said earlier, but it was later than she had ever called before. "Why didn't you call?"
I laid my head on my desk, staring at the graphite-rendered form before me, tears leaking free. Two sides of myself starting warring with each other, the rational side acknowledging that she had a demanding course load compared to mine, and that we both had more than we had expected in the first few weeks of classes. The emotional side, however, argued that a phone call wasn't that hard and that she had to know how muh I had been looking forward to spend in time with her this weekend.
The two sides sniped at each other, neither side gaining any ground until there was a soft knock at my door.
Wiping away the tears quickly, I called to the door. "It's open, Mom," I said, expecting to see my mothers slight form enter.
Instead, Rarity stepped in, her hair not quite the model of perfection that she kept it in for being seen in public, but I recognized it's fashionable unkempt look. Her muse had been ignoring her again. She was lookin down at her feet, hands clasped and twisting slightly.
"May I come in?" She asked quietly.
I stood slightly. "Rarity?" I asked softly. "What are you doing here? It's after eleven."
"I know," she said, hands betraying her nervousness where her face wouldn't. "But what I need to say couldn't be said over the phone. It had to be done in front of you."
Fear sprang fully into my heart, making me cower slightly as the curtain of hair slid downto shield me from her gaze. "Oh," I whispered. "I understand."
I heard the bed squeak slightly as she sat down. "No," she whispered. "I don't expect you do, darling. I have been terribly unfair to you these last few weeks. I can never make up for the time lost there, but I can try to be better. I've rearranged my schedule to free up the weekend again."
"How gracious," I bit off, unable to help myself, though I did feel bad when I saw her wince at my tone.
"I suppose I deserve that," Rarity sighed. "Fluttershy, I know that you probably think the worst of me right now, and heaven knows I've like to earned it, but would it hurt to at least look at me?" The weakness in her tone was sad to hear, for I had never heard her sound that way before.
I raised my head, eyes locking onto hers. Tears shimmered there, and she looked for a moment like a young girl I had once seen daily in the mirror before I he retreated behind the mask of timidity. I wanted to cradle her in my arms, but something boiled up from below the surface, and I felt my face grow hot.
"A month," I whispered.
She blinked, opening her mouth to speak, but I cut her off.
"You've been canceling plans for a month, and you think that just because you drove down in the middle of the night I'd forget the hurt you've caused?" I spun my chair around and stood, pointing my finger at her. "That you'd be able to just wipe out the anger and the nights I cried myself to sleep over it? You're wrong, Rarity!"
I seethed, trying to get ahold of my emotions, but they were determined to roam for the moment. "At least twice we could have stayed in at your place, but you kept claiming that you'd be a bad host," I glared at her, the look breaking into a sorrowful stare. "You don't have to be a host for me, Rarity Belle. You just have to be there. That's all I need."
I collapsed back into my chair, slumping against the back as I hid my gaze again. After a few moments I heard he bed squeak again and felt slim fingers slide under my chin to tilt my head up.
"I can't promise I'll always be there," Rarity whispered. "Mentally, at least. But don't you ever think I won't be there for you if you need me, Fluttershy. Come Monday, I'm going to withdraw from a couple of classes. The demands on my time are just a bit much for me right now, and I need to focus on some things that are truly important to me."
"Don't do it because of me," I breathed.
"Why shouldn't I?" She returned. "You aren't the only one that's felt the strain. I've missed my Care Bear." She leaned forward and rested her forehead on mine.
I stiffled a giggle. "Is that all you came to tell me?" I said, reaching out and hugging her.
She kisses me gently before pulling back slightly. "Not entirely," she said, reaching into her pocket to pull out a key. "I also want you to have this. It's a key to the apartment. After all, I want you to feel as much at home there as you do here. Any time, day or night, you are welcome to anything in those walls."
I took the key, gazing at the tiny bit of brass. I knew Rarity valued her privacy, especially with Sweetie Belle always violating it - dangerously so with the Anon-A-Miss incident from a few years ago. But for her to give me unlimited access...
"Thank you," I whispered, pulling her into a deep kiss.
"Hey," Zephyr's voice called out as my door opened again. "Could you keep it down? I'm..."
A thrown plush hit my brother square in the face. "Out, Zephyr!" I warned.
"Sheesh," he grumbled, leaving.
I grinned sheepishly at my girlfriend. "Sorry for exploding on you like that."
She waves a hand. "You needed to say it," she said twining her fingers wih mine. "Though I do want to ask a favor..."
I raised an eyebrow.
"Could I borrow a set of pajamas? I seem to have left in such a hurry I neglected to pack an overnight bag."
Night is the worst. It offers the least amount of distractions for my love. All of her charges are typically asleep in their pens and there is seldom much to do after a certain time.
And nothing to silence memories.
I awoke sometime in the night to her whimpering in her slumber, curled up in the fetal position and clutching the stuffed unicorn I had made not long after our trek through the mirror as though it was a lifeline.
Fluttershy will always cry, the thought came to me unbidden, remenbering the taunt she had to endure until she found her friends in us.
Tears weĺing in my eyes, I reached out all pulled her into my arms, cradling her head in the hollow of my neck. I began to hum softly, a song that I heard her sing to Sweetie Belle and her friends one night.
Hush now, quiet now, It's time to rest your weary head. Hush now, quiet now, It's time to go to bed...
At the sound of my voice she seemed to relax for a moment before grabbing me in a tight hold in her sleep.
"Don't leave me," she uttered in her sleep. "They always come when I'm alone."
The tears broke free and fell down my cheeks.
"I'm here, my love," I whispered, stroking her hair. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. They won't bother you anymore."
Her body relaxed slightly, sighing in comfort.
I continued to stroke her hair.
"I promise, I'm not going anywhere without you."
The next morning I woke up to see her sitting at her desk drawing, glancing over from time to time to me. I smiled at her and shifted onto my side, pushing my thick hair out of the way.
"Enjoying the view, darling?" I purred.
She tipped her sketchpad to me to reveal a very god likeness of me at rest on her bed.
"To remember," she whispered in a voice that reminded me of how she used to be.
I sat up and smiled. An idea had come to me while holding her last night.
"I have better idea, my dear," I whispered as i slid out of the bed.
Dash dropped her box in the corner and glanced around.
"How'd you find this place?" She asked.
I smiled as Fluttershy came out of one of the bedrooms with a folded box she had just emptied.
"I have my contacts," I said coyly. "Besides, this will work out much better, for all of us. The distance is only slightly more than halfed for Fluttershy and I, and the commute for you is slightly shorter as well."
She glanced around the two-bedroom townhouse we had just started to move into.
"It is a pretty sweet pad," she said as my quiet love came up to wrap an arm around my waist.
The voice was soft but full of confidence as it called out from the kitchen.
"Aunt Sweetie, could you help me get this to the table?"
Sweetie Belle smiled and stood, setting her coffee mug on the table between us.
"Can't ignore my favorite niece," she smiled.
I leaned into Rarity as we had a few moments of quiet.
"This is nice," I whispered to her. "Melody cooking dinner for Mother's Day."
"I'm thankful she is better at it than Sweetie Belle was when she would try," Rarity whispered back. "She clearly paid attention when we let her help when she was younger."
Sweetie Belle stuck her head back in the door for a moment.
"I heard that," she mock pouted. "And dinner is served, by the way."
We went to the dining room, decorated tastefully as were all the rooms in the house, done by the fashionista by my side. Sitting on a hot pad in the middle of the solid oak table made by AJ and Big Mac as a wedding gift was a large casserole pan steaming lightly next to a bowl of salad that our daughter Melody was tossing gently.
I smiled at the purple maned girl, leaning down to kiss her on the head while Rarity rubbed noses with her. She was our little treasure, and also our largest trial to date. When she got together with Midnight Sky, Windvane, and Aurora, it was like seeing Sweetie Belle and her friends at that age again.
Trouble and all.
As she served out the caesar salad and the vegetable pot pie, I took a moment to look around the table, at the family I had gained when Rarity had agreed to marry me. A sister who was miles better at being understanding than my brother, a little girl that could always make me smile, and a wonderful wife who had stood by me through everything as I had with her.
Of all the treasures in the world, she was truly a gem, one richly won despite trouble.
"Mum?" I heard Melody ask. "You ok?"
I nodded with a smile as I took Rarity's hand in mine.
