The first human pony in 200 years, Gregory Grimory has been given a great responsibility by the queens, one they say could shape the future of Equestria.
Gregory Grimory has been transported to the magical world of Equestria. As a non-magical being, he is forced to turn into a pony in order to survive the magical environment. Now a unicorn, specifically a rare sub species called a human pony, Gregory is currently living at the castle where he is trained in pony culture, magic, and told of his royal responsibility. Human ponies are coveted studs and brood mares, as legend says that their offspring are the makers and shakers of history. As such, Gregory has been sanctioned by the crown to carry out his duty as a breeder, for the good of Equestria.
Ward of his guardian, Prince Blueblood, and friend of the queens, Gregory has little time to learn before an impatient populace demands that he fulfill his duties.
“Easy there,” the pink mare encouraged. The gray stallion had begun lifting the second block and was clearly struggling. “You’re doing fine. Just keep your mind focused on where you want the blocks to be.”
“You say that,” the stallion grunted as he sweated over dividing his focus between speaking and lifting the block as he’d been shown. “But it’s harder than it looks.”
“It’s only hard because it’s new,” the mare advised. “No more new than learning how to walk on four hooves, I imagine.”
“Yeah, but walking didn’t have this…” he strained as he considered the words. “Tingle.”
“Very well,” the mare said with a nod. “I think that’s enough for today. You may stop now.” She motioned with her hoof to set the blocks down gently, and rewarded him with a smile when he completed his last task instead of just letting them drop. “You performed excellently, Mr. Gregory.”
The gray stallion panted as he struggled to keep his legs from falling out beneath him. “Thanks, Mrs. Peach. You’re not so bad, yourself.”
“I should think not,” Peach huffed. “I was hoof chosen by Queen Celestia for my skills in helping late bloomers.” It was the polite way to say a unicorn who didn’t get adequate training as a foal, resulting in substandard magical skills later in life. As such, when Celestia needed a teacher to lend a hoof to Equestria’s newest citizen, there really was no better choice.
There was a knock at the door.
“Come in,” Peach called politely.
The door opened a crack and in poked the immaculately white muzzle, blond mane, and chiseled jaw of Prince Blueblood. His artic blue eyes scanned the room until he found his target sitting across from the aged pink mare. He was a stallion, average height, gray fur, messy brown mane, and deep emerald eyes the prince could stare into for hours. He was also an unusual sight as one of the only ponies to wear clothing full time, especially indoors. Today featured a pair of casual black slacks, teasingly covering what Blueblood knew to be a shapely rump, and a simple blue vest. Further, as a human pony, Gregory’s eyes were a bit smaller than usual; his ears came out more to the sides as opposed to the top of the head; as a unicorn, his horn had a slight curve to it; and, when he smiled, you’d find he still kept his omnivorous teeth, namely the sharp cutting tools in the front reminiscent of bat ponies.
“Gregory!” Blueblood rushed over to the pooped stallion’s side. “Are you alright?”
“Y-yeah,” Gregory panted. His strength was returning, but he still had to work to keep his head up. The concern in Blueblood’s eyes was appreciated and he smiled in payment. “No need to worry.”
“On the contrary,” Blueblood turned his nose up in a melodramatic huff. “As prince, it is my sworn duty to concern myself with the wellbeing of all my citizens. This holds especially true for citizens Aunty has assigned to my personal care. Now, let me help you up.” He offered his hoof.
Peach rolled her eyes at the display. Blueblood’s gestures were completely transparent, yet the naïve human pony still didn’t see it. Since Gregory’s arrival and assignment as the prince’s ward, the white stallion had done everything short of dropping from his sheath and kissing him full on the mouth. It would have almost been cute if it weren’t so incredibly one-sided.
Gregory took the hoof and climbed to all fours, his legs wobbling momentarily. “Thanks Blue.” He knew Blueblood liked to be referred to by his nickname when he could afford to be more casual. “Any particular reason you’re here?”
“Besides wanting to spend time with my favorite human pony in all Equestria?” Blueblood asked as he moved to Gregory’s side and threw a hoof over his shoulder, pulling him close. The prince inhaled softly and was pleased to find the smaller stallion had used the shampoo he’d given him.
“I thought I was the only human pony in Equestria.”
“Strictly speaking you’re the first full blooded human pony in nearly 200 years. If you look close enough you can see evidence of your predecessors in their descendants, but that’s beside the point.” Blueblood waved his hoof dismissively. “Speaking of which, how are you adjusting? Anything new to report?”
Gregory gave a half smile as he looked down at his gray forelegs and hooves. “Just really missing having hands,” he sighed and looked away. “Among other things.”
Blueblood felt his heart sink. His first instinct was to nuzzle the poor stallion and tell him all was okay, but he knew he couldn’t. Besides Gregory still acclimating to the more physical nature of pony interaction, Blueblood was heartbroken to learn that the poor fellow had the misfortune of being bent, and worse, only towards females. Truly it was a tragedy that this strapping young fellow would go through life without knowing the full pleasures of another stallion’s company, but Blueblood nevertheless steeled himself. Not wanting to frighten the poor chap with overt displays of affection, he settled on tightening his grip around Gregory’s withers.
“I know it’s hard and I can’t begin to imagine what you’re going through,” Blueblood said sincerely. “Not only has fate conspired to hurl you from your old world, but you’ve also been forced to lose your old form just to survive.” Equestria had a magically heavy atmosphere. As non-magical beings, all humans who came here were given the false choice of transformation or death. “And while things might seem daunting at times, I can assure you that you are not alone.” He gave the stallion his best smile. “Not only is the castle staff at your beck and call, but you have myself and the queens here to help you out through the hard times.”
Gregory chuckled and met Blueblood’s eyes with a warm smile. “Thanks. That helps me feel better,” he said, unknowingly sending the prince’s heart into a flutter.
“Oh, but where are my senses?” Blueblood asked, removing his hoof and urgently shaking his head to keep from doing something he might regret. “Queen Celestia wishes to have an audience with you, post haste.”
“Then what are we waiting for?”
And the two stallions galloped out of the room, leaving a very confused Peach Tree to wonder if perhaps the rumors she’d heard about Blueblood’s snobbery were less than accurate.
***
The audience, as it turned out, was lunch in the royal dining hall. Unlike the main dining hall, which was large enough to hold up to three hundred guests for royal banquets, the royal dining hall had rarely sat more than twenty in its thousand year existence. It was considered one of the highest honors to be invited here, typically reserved for Equestria’s most important citizens, or at least those who held the queens’ favor. But recently a common sight at the table had been the human pony Gregory Grimory.
At the head of the table sat Queens Celestia and Luna, rulers of the Equestrian Empire. To Celestia’s right sat her adopted nephew Prince Blueblood. To Luna’s left sat today’s special guest. Gregory was still impressed by the splendor of the high ceilings, stained glass windows, and general fanciness of the table cloth and even the plates.
At the same time, the human pony was mindful to keep checking on Luna every now and then. The younger queen was infamous for her love of practical jokes, of which Gregory had become her new favorite victim. It was why he’d developed a habit of always checking his chair before sitting. Even so, he still considered her a good friend, always willing to lend a hoof, except during game night, when tensions could run rather high. Luna met his eyes, and gave an unconvincing smile of innocence.
Lunch consisted of elaborate salads on Celestia’s side of the table while Luna’s side enjoyed a greater variety, namely the main course being a thick juicy steak with carrots and tomato slices to the side. Alicorns, as amalgamations of all pony tribes, possessed the ability to consume virtually any kind of organic matter, including tree bark on occasion. Gregory was thankful for this, as well as the presence of bat ponies in the night guard, as it meant that his need for animal proteins were met in ways most of Equestria was, for the most part, unable to.
“I just got word from Peach Tree,” Celestia said. “You’re making fine progress in your magic lessons.”
“Are you sure?” Gregory asked as he began cutting into his steak. He still didn’t fully grasp how hooves were able to grip things, but decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. “I’m still struggling with holding the second block.”
“All foals did at some point,” Celestia corrected in a motherly tone. “And all foals eventually learned to master the skill as easily as basic grammar.”
“That is debatable,” Luna countered after swallowing a mouthful. “I have been reading reports most troubling regarding the state of Equestria’s public education system.”
“Lulu,” Celestia sighed, knowing how hot blooded Luna could get about these things.
“Really?” Blueblood asked. “Because I’ve read that Princess Twilight’s new education programs have been yielding remarkable results where they’ve been implemented. Why not simply declare the experimentation phase over and distribute her curriculum on a wider scale?”
“Because the Canterlot nobility are comprised primarily of a bunch of mule-headed fools!” Luna slammed her hoof to the table, before glancing apologetically at Blueblood. “No offense.”
“None taken,” Blueblood said with a shrug. “It’s hard to disagree, but I think such matters can be held for later. Didn’t you want to say something to our dear Gregory, Aunty?”
The pony in question set his fork down and looked up.
“Yes indeed.” Celestia smiled gratefully at her nephew for derailing her sister’s tangent and getting matters back on track. “Gregory. It has come to my attention that in the three weeks you’ve been in Equestria, you have not set foot outside the palace.”
“Sorry.” Gregory cringed. He’d been expecting this conversation sooner or later.
“You’re not in trouble,” Celestia reassured. “Though I am curious why.”
“Well, I thought I was still on probation until I’m, ya know, ready to integrate.” His nerves were plain for all to see and it was clear he was not comfortable with the idea of being fully introduced to Equestria. However, the royal family was not content to let him sit around forever.
“Your lessons in etiquette have also yielded acceptable results,” Celestia continued. “There are still areas where you struggle, but there is no greater teacher than real life. Which is why, tomorrow, you shall accompany Blueblood to a charity banquet in the city.”
“But… I…”
“Oh, you’ll love it,” Blueblood cheered. “Fancy Pants is a marvelous stallion with a reputation as a friend of both the crown and the common pony.” But he could still see the worry in Gregory’s eyes. “His guest lists are also notoriously exclusive, being available only to those ponies who’ve demonstrated a genuine care for the wellbeing of the empire. Everyone attending such a function is well aware to be on their best behavior.”
“Gregory,” Celestia interjected. “I know it’s a daunting task, but you can’t just keep yourself shut in forever. You need to get out and see the world, and experience all the wonders it has to offer.”
Gregory sighed, knowing she spoke the truth. And knowing Blueblood would be there meant he wouldn’t be completely alone. “Sure,” he acquiesced.
“Excellent!” Blueblood clopped his hooves together. “That being said, we will have to find you some more fitting attire. This is a public event where many ponies come to be seen.”
“Forsooth!” Luna declared with an extended hoof. “The stallion must be taken shopping for an outfit befitting such an occasion. And we shall proudly offer our aid!”
“Say what?”
“Aunty Luna,” Blueblood began gently. “I’m not sure that’s such a-”
“Fine idea, sister,” Celestia declared, cutting off her nephew.
“Indeed it is.” Luna touched her hoof to her chest in pride. “Tis been far too long since our last outing among the commoners.”
“You had your own charity ball just last week,” Blueblood countered.
“Precisely!” Luna agreed. “Far too long. Besides, that was a formal event. This is an outing of a casual nature,” she said as if such a thing made it more important before literally inhaling the remainder of her meal. “We shudder to think how our ponies have suffered in this prolonged absence. Hurry, young Gregory. Finish thine meal that we may depart for a day of glorious shopping!”
Glancing between the ponies he considered the more sensible of the bunch, Gregory was met with a look of encouragement from Celestia and one of defeated acceptance from Blueblood. Lunch was hurried and soon the trio were off, Blueblood struggling to keep up as Luna practically carried Gregory by the hoof.
Seeing as there was still meat left on Gregory’s plate, Celestia levitated the last bite into her mouth and savored the juicy texture before swallowing. She giggled at the thought of her citizens’ horrified response if they saw their beloved queen do such a thing, but then her thoughts turned to Gregory and those who had come before. She and Luna had aided in the naturalization of human ponies since coming to Equestria, taking from the traditions of old and adapting new policies as times changed. All in all, she felt confident that this would do his duty the same as the others. “He’ll do fine.”
It was an opportunity, Gregory had been told, which most of Canterlot would die to have. Yet here he was, trying to not look ungrateful as Luna dragged him from store to store and encouraged him to dress in all manner of outfits.
“No,” Gregory said from behind the curtain in the dressing room.
“How can you say no if you haven’t even tried them on?” Luna demanded from the hall, ignoring the many ponies poking their heads out to steal a glimpse of the queen and prince.
“Like this. NO!” Gregory retorted.
“Come now. It’s the latest fashion from celebrity seamstress Rarity,” Luna encouraged as she levitated the clothes hanger holding the pair of lacey black panties. “All the up-and-coming celebrities are wearing a pair.”
“Perhaps it’s the color,” Blueblood suggested, trying not to imagine what Gregory would look like in some of the more suggestive articles he’d seen. “Perhaps navy blue would be better? With your coat, it should blend into your fur to the point of being nearly invisible. That way you achieve the allure of keeping your stallionhood hidden without being too obvious about it.”
“Uh uh.”
“But…” Blueblood pleaded.
“Never gonna happen.”
Luna had one last idea. “Not even under a pair of dress slacks?”
“No!” he said finitely.
Luna and Blueblood gave simultaneous sighs of defeat before meeting one another’s eyes. Both had put up a valiant effort to dress the stallion in lacey underwear, but his stubbornness proved to be an insurmountable foe. The royals shared a nod of quiet respect, similar to that of fellow warriors on the field of battle, before departing for garments that would more likely meet the picky stallion’s tastes.
The royals had been at this for over an hour and the crowd outside the store showed no signs of breaking up any time soon. While the guards they brought managed to keep most ponies away with little more than a mean look, the pair still had their shopping interrupted by brave ponies running up and asking for autographs and the like. They’d picked out a store in the more common area of Canterlot to avoid being harassed by nobles and so far it seemed to have worked.
“I still say he’d make a remarkable first impression in one of these.” Luna held up the latest of Gregory’s rejects. It was a pair of stallion’s trousers, but with a hole cut out in the groin area for the sheath and balls to poke through. “It’s both classy and functional for when you meet that sweet young filly for the first time.”
“I’m afraid you and I have different interpretations of what qualifies as class.” Blueblood shook his head. “That sort of thing screams to the world that he’s just a cheap whorse looking for some quick fun.”
“Cheap?” Luna was aghast. “We would never suggest that dear Gregory is cheap! But what’s so wrong about announcing his status as an expensive stud?” She emphasized.
Blueblood stared up at the alicorn in disbelief. “Was that really how they used to do things in your day?”
“But of course.” Luna said in equal disbelief. “None of this pitter pattering around with innuendo and subversion. When a mare liked a stallion, she’d present her plot for mounting. And when a human pony served as stud or brood mare for the crown, they wore it as an invisible badge of honor; and sometimes not so invisible.”
Blueblood just shook his head. “I find that hard to believe. According to him, the majority of human cultures have been almost entirely monogamous for several thousand years. On top of everything else they go through, I simply don’t see the human ponies of the past so casually casting off their cultural norms.”
“For a former human, he holds some rather misguided beliefs regarding his people’s history,” Luna said as she examined another line of slacks. “For the longest time humans were the more primitive of our cultures in numerous ways. We remember a time when human ponies looked upon a cobbled road as if it were equal in wonderment to pony magic. They did not have the same monogamous taboos drilled into them, and thus were more willing to accept the nature of pony herds.”
“You don’t say.” Blueblood was intrigued. He’d always been enthralled by stories Celestia had told him of humans coming to Equestria. Despite their seemingly primitive nature, early human ponies showed remarkable levels of ingenuity and cleverness. Many of Equestria’s technological and social developments could be traced back to human ponies and their descendants, which was exactly what made them so coveted and why he needed to be presented as an asset of the crown as soon as possible.
Blueblood glanced over his shoulder at the changing room. Beneath that unassuming nature lies the potential for one of Equestria’s next greats, he thought. Despite his timidity, the unassuming Gregory held a tremendous amount of power, or rather, any pony that held him held his power.
There was no denying that Blueblood found such power attractive, but more than that he simply liked Gregory. Having no knowledge of Equestria, Gregory had no compulsion to grovel before the princes, princesses, or queens as so many others. He wasn’t a yes mare, always agreeing with the pony in highest authority even when they went out of their way to sound stupid. He wasn’t a gold digger, being very frugal in nature. And he wasn’t a brownnoser, despite Blueblood’s fantasies. Gregory, once he got over his bashfulness, was not afraid to speak his mind. He was honest in his interactions and held a bottomless well of interesting stories from the human world, which he took much delight in sharing. No matter the circumstance, Blueblood never failed to find Gregory’s presence an absolute delight.
“And then we return from a thousand years of banishment to learn that humans have surpassed ponies in ways never imagined,” Luna continued. “Coal for train engines, airships that fly faster than ponies, and I still don’t fully grasp this internet he speaks of, but it sounds amazing.”
“Yes,” Blueblood said dreamily. “He is.”
“What?”
“What?”
“What did you just say?”
“Nothing.”
Luna narrowed her eyes accusingly down on the stallion. “You know I have seen your dreams, little prince,” she flashed a toothy grin. “There is nothing you can hide.”
“Y-you look in on those kinds of dreams?” Blueblood asked as his cheeks reddened.
“Glance would be a better word, as I do not make a habit on needlessly intruding on such private fantasies. However, an instant in the dream realm can last a remarkably long time.” She glanced around conspiratorially and leaned in closer and whispered, “As does your perception of Gregory’s endurance.”
Blueblood’s tongue caught in his throat.
“But you’re not too far off,” she teased. “Legends of human pony stamina are not as exaggerated as most seem to believe.”
Blueblood licked his lips as his imagination ran wild.
“If anything, tales of their exploits do not do them justice.” Luna grinned before falling over with laughter. At his confusion, she pointed between the prince’s legs where the desired result had been achieved. Thankfully Blueblood had managed to hide his shame behind a marnnequin stand before Gregory emerged with his latest outfit.
It was a simple black vest with a white undershirt and black dress slacks. The outfit seemed a little generic, nothing to make him stand out, but it also seemed suitable for him. However, Gregory being a simple wall flower was not a destiny his royal care givers were willing to tolerate. The look Luna gave Blueblood said as much, that Gregory must be made to mingle with the ponies who would have a vested interest in his future.
***
After buying a single outfit, now carried in Luna’s magic, the prince, queen, and stud-to-be walked leisurely down the streets of Canterlot towards their next destination, chatting amicably as guards followed in tow.
“Let me get this straight,” Luna continued. “The game is that you give any prompt you can think of-”
“Yes.” Blueblood nodded, glad that Luna understood his explanation.
“-no matter how obscure, simple, or silly-”
“Right again.”
“-and Gregory is able to turn it into a story?”
“More like I’m retelling from when I grew up,” Gregory corrected.
Luna frowned in thought as her head swiveled about. A boast such as this needed to be tested. “So, if I were to give you the prompt of,” she spotted an appliance store, “toaster oven?”
“I’d tell the tale of The Brave Little Toaster,” Gregory answered proudly. “It’s about a group of appliances that venture across the wilderness in order to find the master they fear has forgotten them.”
Luna blinked in surprise. “To be clear, this is set in a world where the forces of nature run wild with no one to tend to them?”
“That’s right.”
“It sounds like a tale most harrowing.” Luna grinned excitedly.
“It really gets ya in the feels in places.”
“Feels?” Luna asked.
“Human slang for feelings,” Blueblood answered, proud of his knowledge. “I think it’s quite cute.”
“Yeah, but it’s also got a lot of visual stuff I’m not sure I can do justice to,” Gregory said apologetically.
“Nonsense.” Blueblood waved his hoof. “Your narrative abilities have proven quite vivid thus far. I’d dare say you’d give the orators of old a run for their money.”
“Speaking of money,” Luna interjected. “Have you been giving any thought to acquiring a job?”
“A little.” Gregory shrugged. “I’m not exactly what you’d call skilled labor.”
“There’s no need to feel rushed, of course,” Blueblood insisted. “The crown is more than willing to support you for as long as it takes to get on your hooves. That said, I understand the palace mail room is a bit understaffed at the moment. Perhaps you can find something there to occupy your time until you know what you want?”
Gregory chuckled. “Where I’m from you have to take this really elaborate test to get a job at the post office.”
“The benefits are quite coveted, but this’ll only be a part time position for you,” Blueblood informed, leaving unsaid what Gregory’s real job would be. “Think of it as training in pony interactions for your real duties.”
Gregory grimaced, knowing full well what Blueblood was referring to. However, before he could once more express his apprehension with such a task, a pink earth mare materialized out of hammer space.
“Hiiiiii Luna!” She greeted with the volume of an air horn.
“Pinkie Pie,” Luna greeted right back and pulled the mare into a hug.
“And hello to you too, Blue.” She waved from the confines of Luna’s grip.
“Charmed.” Blueblood nodded back. “What brings your pinkness here this fine day?”
“My pinkness is here to help my sister Maud move into her new apartment,” Pinkie said, bouncing out of the hug and continuing to bounce in front of her royal friend. Despite the debacle at the Gala many years ago, Twilight had insisted that the prince wasn’t such a bad guy. Rarity still held a small grudge, but the others were willing to at least be polite, save for Pinkie who was just too Pinkie. “She’s trying to get a job at Canterlot University as a teacher in geology. We kinda got separated on the way, so now I’m waiting for her to find me.”
Gregory bobbed his head in time with Pinkie’s bouncing, trying to see if there was a windup lever somewhere.
“Maud Pie is moving to Canterlot?” Luna asked. “Whatever for?”
Pinkie stopped bouncing and pressed her cheek against Luna’s, whispering conspiratorially. “It’s a secret.”
Blueblood caught Gregory’s look of confusion and smile sympathetically. “Pinkie Pie. Friend of the crown, hero of Equestria, former Element of Laughter, and current member of the Council of Friendship.”
Gregory tilted his head. “Would you be insulted if I said half those things sounded like they were made up, like for some sort of marketing plan for little girls?”
“Not at all,” Blueblood said graciously. “Would you be afraid if I said those were some of the least interesting aspects of this mare?”
Gregory glanced between the prince and the pink mare. “Somewhat.”
“Oh. Ohohohohohohoh!” Pinkie exclaimed as she ran up to Gregory. “Who’s this? A new friend?” She gave a sideways glance at Luna, accompanied by a shit-eating-grin and suggestively waggling eyebrows. “Or his he your new colt toy?”
“Gregory is no such thing,” Blueblood sighed in exacerbation. He was not in the mood to deal with the pink mare’s pinkness today. However, he quickly recovered as he recalled the mare’s other abilities. “However he is in the market to make some new friends,” he added suggestively.
It was brief, but Luna’s smile widened ever so slightly as she gave her nephew a nod. This, she thought, is how the maneuverings of the court should be handled.
“Friends!?” Pinkie exclaimed from about four feet in the air. “That’s my specialty. I just love-love-love making new friends.”
Before he knew it, Gregory’s hoof had been seized by the sentient glob of cotton candy and was in the process of being shaken right off. He tried to pull away, but she seemed utterly oblivious to his plight.
“Hi Gregory. My name’s Pinkamina Diane Pie, but most ponies call me Pinkie,” she said as she finally released the stallion’s sore hoof. “Can ya guess why?”
It took Gregory a moment to realize he’d been asked a question and he rubbed his foreleg. “Um, because you’re… pink?”
“Got it in one,” Pinkie congratulated. “You must be really smart.”
Gregory frowned, unable to determine if she was being genuine or condescending.
“By the way, why are you wearing pants?” Pinkie casually asked as she leaned to the side for a better view of the stallion’s rump. “Not trying to hide something, I hope. Hiding stuff from your friends is never a good idea.”
Gregory took a step back, overwhelmed by the cotton candy’s bubbly personality and not liking the idea of her staring at his backside. “I, um…”
And just like that, Pinkie’s jitteriness promptly fell to a more manageable level. She’d identified this pony as an introvert and adjusted her friend-making strategy accordingly. “Sorry.” She traced her hoof along the concrete in embarrassment. Her mane had deflated slightly, just enough to make her look smaller and less imposing. “Didn’t mean to frighten you like that. I just kinda get carried away when I meet new ponies.” She offered her hoof apologetically.
After a moment’s hesitation, Gregory reached out and was relieved to be met with a much more gentle hoof shake.
“Better?” she asked.
“Better.” Gregory smiled.
“I’m glad.” It took all of Pinkie’s willpower not to cartwheel around in celebration. “Where are you guys heading, anyway? Mind if I join you?”
“We were just doing a little shopping for Fancy Pants’ charity function tomorrow, but what about your sister?” Blueblood asked. “I thought you were looking for her.”
“Oh silly-billy,” Pinkie said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “I’m not looking for her. She’s looking for me.”
“And now she’s found you,” came the apathetic reply from behind Pinkie. It was an earth mare with a bluish gray frock that hid most of her body. She had gray fur, just like Gregory, but her mane was well-trimmed and had a dull violet color. Her eyeshadow was the same shade of violet and her half lidded turquoise eyes beheld the scene before her with their usual lack of discernable emotion.
“Maud!” Pinkie screamed and torpedoed into the new mare, who remarkably withstood the full force of the blow without so much as a nudge. “I missed you,” she said, clinging to Maud’s head like a face hugger. “Where were you?”
“At the apartment,” Maud answered plainly.
“Huh. The one place I didn’t check,” Pinkie admitted as she slowly descended back to the ground with the speed of a feather.
As Gregory wondered whether or not the pony shaped piece of cotton candy had some sort of grudge against the laws of physics, his attention was caught by the new mare’s eyes. They were half lidded and unfeeling, but also had a depth to them that Gregory couldn’t quite discern.
“Hello, your highnesses,” Maud said dispassionately as she bowed to the royals.
“A pleasure as always, Maud,” Luna beamed.
“I trust your parents are well?” Blueblood added.
“Still working the rock farm,” Maud answered as she faced Gregory. “And who might this be?”
“Oh. Silly me,” Pinkie giggled. “This here is Gregory. He’s my new friend and he’s going to Fancy Pants’ party tomorrow, just like you.”
“Oh?” Luna asked. “It’s been a while since a Pie has last attended a Canterlot party.”
“I organized a flash rave just two weeks ago,” Pinkie said giddily.
“The invitation was for my parents,” Maud said dully, never taking her eyes off Gregory. “But they were busy and suggested I try it out to get a taste of the Canterlot night life.”
“Splendid!” Luna cheered, noticing the way both gray ponies were staring at each other. “Thy sister Pinkie has offered to accompany us on our shopping venture. Wouldst thou be interested in doing the same?” Luna had a bad habit of slipping into her old-timey talk whenever she got excited.
“I’d like to, but we’ve still got some unpacking to do,” Maud said dispassionately, never letting her eyes stray from the gray stallion for too long.
“Oh well,” Pinkie said as she drooped her head low, only to pop back up the next second. “I guess that means we’ll just have to see you at the party tomorrow.” She beamed at Gregory.
“Y-yeah,” Gregory stuttered, never taking his eyes off Maud. “I guess I’ll, um, see you then.”
“I hope so,” Maud said evenly as she turned and departed. It was a shame the earth mare was wearing a frock because her tail, intentionally or unintentionally, was flagging ever so slightly off to the side.
Unbeknownst to Gregory, Luna and Blueblood shared a knowing smile.
When they’d returned back to the castle, Gregory retired to his room as he usually did before dinner, no doubt enjoying the quiet with a good book. However, other parts of the castle were not so quiet.
“And you should have seen the way he was looking at her,” Luna gushed at Celestia in their private study. “I swear I was tempted to flick him and see if he’d fall over.”
“And you didn’t?” Celestia asked mischievously. “Lulu. I’m impressed.”
“Give us some credit, dear sister,” Luna huffed. “We do have some self control.”
“Tell that to the maid who walked in on you after the Nightmare Night festivities,” Celestia chortled. “She’s still in therapy.”
Luna frowned as she recalled the incident. The maid had come in just as Luna was really getting her candy on. Being that she still hadn’t removed her Nightmare Moon costume and had a muzzle dripping with melted sugar in the dim light of her room, the maid could possibly be forgiven for thinking that Nightmare Moon had returned for real and was eating a disemboweled pony. “Art thou making some remark on our eating habits?”
“You mean besides the fact that diamond dogs eat with less splatter than you?” Blueblood retorted. “I’m more interested in this Maud character, as well as her intentions for my Gregory.”
“Your Gregory?” Luna asked teasingly.
“Yes. My Gregory,” Blueblood emphasized. “He is my ward and thus I am responsible for his wellbeing.” He paid no mind to the way his aunts hummed in disbelief.
“In any case, I think it’s a bit too soon to be discussing such matters,” Celestia asserted as she levitated her tea for a sip. “One look is hardly grounds to start planning a wedding ceremony. This isn’t one of Lulu’s fanfictions.”
“Hey,” Luna whined.
“In any case,” Celestia strained. “For the time being, I say we wait and see what comes of this. And Blueblood.”
“Yes.”
“I know how you feel about this colt.” She paused as his ears drooped. “But try not to let that interfere in helping in his assimilation. Protect him from those of ill intent, but step aside and allow him to form his own friendships. Understand?”
Blueblood sighed. “Yes, Aunty.”
***
The eve of the party had come all too soon for Gregory, but at the same time it hadn’t come soon enough. He’d been anxiously stressing over the morrow’s events that it had cost him more than a bit of sleep. In fact, when Luna came by to ask why he was so late for breakfast, the mare had summoned a small squad of maids to draw a cold bath and toss him in. When one of the maids pointed out that the same result could have been achieved with Luna’s own magic, the queen ordered them all to toilet duty for the rest of the day.
Thankfully, Luna had generously offered to help take his mind off his troubles with a few hours in the game room. After granting permission to enter his mind, Luna had extracted memories of his world’s video games, along with a few other things she probably should have cared more about. Mixing that knowledge with the expertise of Equestrian game makers, they’d quickly produced the first prototypes of many of Gregory’s favorites that could easily be played with hooves. The greatest challenge for Gregory was to go easy on Luna, for despite her love of games, she was still a novice of the things he’d committed to memory.
Blueblood quizzed Gregory over rules of etiquette, the names of ponies of interest, and other things he’d need to know over the short carriage ride to the party. They arrived outside an impressive looking mansion of white and blue marble with seemingly a hundred fancy ponies strutting their way inside. It wasn’t long before the human pony noticed the other guests staring his way. Most of the murmurs regarded the prince, but he also caught the ‘H’ word more than once. At Blueblood’s cough, Gregory found the stallion with his head held high in pride, motioning for his companion to do the same.
“Ah. Your highness!” Greeted a white stallion with a blue mane and moustache. “So glad you could make it.” He and the prince shared a soft bow.
“So glad to be here. Fancy Pants.” Blueblood motioned to his companion. “This is my friend Gregory Grimory, Equestria’s one and only resident human pony.”
“Good to meet you old chap.” Fancy reached out and shook Gregory’s hoof generously.
“Good to be here, Mr. Pants.” Gregory smiled back.
“Please. Call me Fancy.”
“Alright,” Gregory chuckled as he glanced around the stallion towards the mansion. “I was told this was a charity banquet. Might I ask what the charity is for?”
“But of course,” Fancy beamed. “This function is for Canterlot’s rather disgraceful unemployment rates. There was a bit of a slump in the stock market recently and many ponies lost their jobs. That’s when I got the idea for this beauty.” He waved back at the mansion. “Besides the banquet, I’ve also set up the parlor as something of a casino. Rich ponies play, have a good time, and all the proceeds go to housing the homeless, feeding the hungry, and training the jobless.”
“Sounds like a nice all around charity,” Gregory beamed back, impressed by the stallions altruism. “Wish more of the rich back home were like you.”
“Flatterer.” Fancy tittered, fluttering his eyelids at the new stallion as he motioned for them to follow him inside. “But on that note, you wouldn’t happen to have any thoughts on how this issue might be fixed, would you?”
“Why ask me?” Gregory frowned, fearing he knew the answer as he noticed many of the surrounding ponies were now eavesdropping.
“Because you’re human,” Fancy said flatly. “Not to seem rude, but ponies here have certain expectations for your kind. I understand how rumors can leave the truth in the dust, but ponies will still look to the legends and see the human pony as a beacon for all the answers.”
Gregory grimaced. Blueblood had warned him as much, that ponies would look to him as a savant of the world, possibly even treating him as the second coming of Starswirl the Bearded. The legends of human contribution were that potent. However, thanks to the prince’s warning over this very thing, Gregory had given this particular answer some thought.
“State sanctioned bailouts are a mixed bag and can usually lead to issues in the long run. Work programs might be better, but I think the best thing to do is charities like these.” Gregory waved his hoof around as they entered the parlor. As Fancy said, there were slot machines, tables, spinners, and other such things all around with several circular tables of food in the middle. “Charity from the people, or ponies, is really the best thing. Get everyone to come together for mutual support and all that stuff.” He grimaced again. “Sorry.”
“For what?” Fancy asked. “That sounds like a fine idea.”
“Agreed,” Blueblood added.
“It’s not even mine, though.” Gregory shrugged meekly. “At best it’s a shoddy parroting of someone who said it a lot better.”
“Be that as it may, I still like it. And here.” Fancy reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a roll of gambling chips. “On the house, and do have fun. As for me, I need to go make sure my wife is behaving herself.” He departed into the crowd, casually greeting guests as he went.
“That went well,” Blueblood congratulated.
“It definitely could have gone worse,” Gregory agreed.
The party went on for the longest time with little of interest happening. Having no love of gambling, Gregory stuck by Blueblood’s side where he did his best to keep his smile as countless ponies approached. At first all was well as most of the ponies, caked in far too much perfume and makeup for the human’s liking, were mostly interested in Blueblood. However, as the evening went on, more and more began to recognize Gregory for what he was, not who he was, and the questions he’d been dreaded were fired at him like so many rockets.
Ponies asked for advice regarding economic issues of which Gregory had to confess his ignorance. He was fairly certain their praises of wisdom were accompanied by unspoken accusations of a less friendly sort. There were questions about personal issues, political issues, requests for elaborations on what he’d said to Fancy about charities and mutual support, and many more things the poor fellow had to insist he was unqualified to answer. Worst of all were the stud requests.
Ponies Gregory had never even met, and likely wouldn’t recognize under all that makeup, came up offering their daughters and even wives on a silver platter. Some were the relatively simple requests for him to stud a mare and then leave after he’d knocked her up. Others were requests for him to join established herds, even ones that already had stallions. It was the stallions that especially frightened the lad as their makeup and obvious wigs made them look like the sort of modern art exhibits that museums would mistake for garbage. Such requests were always accompanied with bribes of some form, which they called stud fees. These ranged from straightforward down payments, property deeds, stock in businesses, political favors, and a few things that barely sounded legal.
Thankfully Blueblood rendered them all silent with a bellowing declaration that Gregory was his and that all such requests had to go through him. Somehow this rendered the human pony virtually invisible as ponies shoved past him to get to the prince with their propositions. When he was finally free, after savoring a breath of semi-fresh air that was only mildly tainted with offensive perfume, Gregory turned back to his savior who winked at him through the mass of ponies. While initially worried, Gregory was relieved to see the prince with a genuine looking smile, confirming what he’d heard about Blueblood loving to be the center of attention.
Overcoming his apprehension at being alone, Gregory began exploring the party on his own. Amidst the bells and whistles of the machines, bright lights, the cheers and moans of gamblers, and the idle chatter, rich ponies barely gave him a second look. Apparently Blueblood’s declaration had carried far, confirming another of the human’s suspicions.
They don’t care. It had been a fear weighing heavily on his spirit since he’d been told. Human ponies were valued for their bodies and their knowledge. The foals of human ponies were said to be even more brilliant, daring, and innovative than their parents, and that these traits held strong for many generations down the line. Many humans of the past had laid the foundation for noble houses that remained strong even to this day. As he looked about, Gregory confirmed that many of the nobility had slightly smaller eyes than the others, especially compared to the servants running about for their various duties.
Not about me. Gregory was an asset, not a person, at least in present company. He was a means to an end, a tool for the nobility to elevate their respective houses. That’s why they’re ignoring me now, he concluded. Blueblood basically declared himself my owner, so now these pampered prats, who probably got their perfume from the drains at a deli, end up focusing on him to get what they want. But he knew better than to begrudge his friend for such a thing. Blueblood did what he had to in order to free him from an entitled mob.
Gregory punched his hoof against his chin to snap himself out of his funk. Screw those guys! He declared to himself. I might be an asset, but I’m my own asset. I can do whatever the hell I like. I’m a god damn human pony! These emboldening thoughts were quickly tempered by Gregory’s down-to-earth nature. He decided to just keep exploring the party until he found something or someone of interest.
Then he saw her, the gray mare from yesterday. She was sitting alone at a bench on the far wall a fair ways from any gambling stands. She had the same dispassionate look from before as her eyes swept across the room, at least until they landed on him. She looked roughly the same as yesterday, with an even cut mane, no makeup save for the eyeshadow, and a black shiny dress that was better suited for this kind of event. They stared at each other a moment before Gregory found his hooves moving of their own accord, carrying him forward. He tried asking an approaching drink serving waitress for help, fearful that he’d been possessed, but instead snatched up one of the red drinks and downed it in an instant before giving her back the glass. And in the very next second, the possibly possessed stallion found himself standing before the stone faced mare.
“I, um, hey,” Gregory greeted meekly, forgetting his anxieties from earlier in favor of whole new ones. “I, uh, saw you over here by yourself and, uh, just thought you might like some company.”
Maud stared ambivalently at the stallion. “That would be nice,” she said, motioning for him to sit on the bench beside her.
Steeling his nerves, Gregory took the seat as he fretted over a way to break the ice. Thankfully, that something came in the form of the living cotton candy swinging from the ceiling and firing a confetti cannon off in the distance. “Your, uh, sister seems to be enjoying herself.”
“She loves parties,” Maud said flatly. “It’s her cutie mark, after all.”
“What about you? I mean, do you like parties?” Gregory immediately cursed himself for asking such a stupid question.
“Not especially,” Maud said.
“Then, um, if it’s not rude of me to ask…”
“Why am I here?” Maud asked for him. “Considering how much Pie Industries donates to various charities, we get invited to these sorts of things all the time, but there’s usually just so much to do on the farm that we rarely get to go. Mother and father encouraged me to give it a shot as a way of meeting new ponies.”
Gregory chuckled. “Funny. That’s actually why I’m here too.” He felt his breath catch in his throat as Maud turned to face him. “I’m not all that outgoing, so Celestia thought this’d be a good way to get to meet ponies.”
“Is it working?”
“Well,” Gregory trailed off. “I did meet this one mare. She’s kinda quiet, like me, so I guess that made her pretty approachable.” Stupid-stupid-stupid-stupid, he cursed himself.
“She sounds nice,” Maud said evenly. Though her face remained still as stone, she did appreciate the way this stallion was stumbling over himself to talk to her. “Is she pretty?”
Gregory gulped as his eyes went wide. I’m pretty sure that’s entrapment, he thought nervously. “I don’t suppose you’d let me get away with saying she’s as pretty as you?”
“No,” Maud answered after an agonizingly long second of pause.
“No?”
“No,” Maud said again as she scooted closer to him until they were hip to hip on the bench. “I don’t think I would let you get away.”
Gregory swallowed the frog in his throat as he felt his pits stain from sweat. “So, um, w-what would you l-like to t-talk about?”
“I like rocks.”
“Rocks?”
“Rocks,” Maud repeated. “Right now I’m managing the Canterlot division of Pie Industries, but I’m trying to moonlight as a professor of geology at Canterlot U.”
“Oh yeah. Your sister said something about that,” Gregory said, feeling a rise of anger at his inability to read this mare. “What’s Pie Industries?”
“Ever notice how common marble and other stones are in Canterlot’s architecture?” she asked, but didn’t wait for an answer. “Pie Industries owns many of the largest mines in the empire that acquire, refine, distribute, and all around produce most of the empire’s rock needs.”
“Wow.” Gregory blinked. “And since you have the same name as the company…” He left the question implied.
“I’m an heiress to a multi-million bit corporation,” Maud said as plainly as one might describe their eye color. “I also like rocks. That’s… not a problem, is it?”
Gregory blinked at hearing Maud hesitate for the first time. Is… she worried what I think? Best not leave her waiting. “I don’t see why it would be,” he chuckled nervously. “You seem like a pretty down-to-earth sort.”
“Well I am an earth pony.”
“Considering you like rocks, profit from rocks, and, uh, some third thing…” he trailed off.
“I have a rock for a cutie mark,” she offered.
“That,” he added hurriedly. “I’d say you’re more like the earth pony.”
Maud blinked and stared at him for another agonizingly long second. “That may be the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.” With near lightning speed, Maud lunged forward and planted a kiss just below Gregory’s jaw.
Stricken stiff and rigid, in more ways than he’d care to admit, Gregory was granted a moment of peace as he and Maud sat silently together, watching the other guests mill about.
A pony waiter who had spied the entire thing ducked into the crowd and maneuvered his way through the guests until he found Blueblood and gave his report. Blueblood smiled in satisfaction before ordering the waiter back to his post.
“By the way,” Maud said, breaking the silence. “You don’t look like an ordinary unicorn. What tribe are you, anyway?”
“Me?” Gregory asked, pointing at himself. He hadn’t actually expected to meet someone here who didn’t know what he was. It was encouraging. “I’m, well, a human pony. That’s what everyone keeps telling me, anyway.”
“Human?” Maud’s half lidded eyes opened a bit wider. “As in those biped creatures from another world?”
“Thems the ones,” he said with a shrug.
“Funny. I thought you’d be taller.”
“I was,” Gregory sighed despondently. “But apparently there’s so much magic in the air that it was basically hazardous to my health. So, after ponies stopped screaming long enough for someone to identify what I was, I was sent off to the queens, with a guard escort no less, and told I’d have to either be transformed into a pony or wait for the magic to kill me.”
“That’s awful,” Maud said sympathetically.
“Could have been worse.” Gregory shrugged as he held his hoof in front of his face. A waitress came by and handed them both drinks, which Gregory downed quickly. “Apparently the spell turns you into whatever kind of pony best fits who you are, or something.” He reached his hoof up and tapped his horn. “Now I’m a human pony who looks like a beady-eyed unicorn,” he laughed glumly as he stared at the floor.
“I… happen to like unicorns,” Maud admitted.
Gregory’s ears perked in interest.
“All ponies have preferences,” Maud began. “Mostly for their own kind. But then there are those who take a liking to something different. Some like pegasi wings. Others like earth pony muscle. And then there are those of us with a thing for…” she paused, glancing up at Gregory’s forehead, “horns.”
I really wish that I knew if this chick was moving fast or slow, Gregory thought. Announcing her appreciation for a part of his anatomy did seem a little on the rushed side. Maybe this is just how ponies act nice? Maybe I’m overthinking and there isn’t actually anything untoward being suggested at all?
Maud lifted her hoof and pointed at Gregory’s horn. “Do you think I could touch it?”
Blast that theory out of the water. “I, um, I’m not really sure that’d be okay.”
“Alright,” Maud said acceptingly and set her hoof back down. She turned away to face the party once more, but then glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “Just so we’re clear, I want to touch your horn. While I’m willing to be patient, I’m also used to getting what I want.”
Gregory felt his body shiver as his pulse accelerated. There was something about the way she’d spoken. It was still dry, but he could swear there was a hint of aggression under the surface that was threatening to come out. And with her greater size, which he’d come to expect as the norm of earth ponies, it probably wouldn’t have been hard for her to overpower him if she wanted. It was terrifying, but also exhilarating. High on magical equine hormones, Gregory decided to give in to the stupidity and explore this situation a bit further.
“Hypothetically speaking, if you were to touch my h-horn,” he gulped. “W-what exactly would you do?”
Maud unceremoniously let herself fall onto Gregory’s side, surprising him with her weight as she made herself comfortable. “I’d use my hoof to start.” She held her hoof in front of her face, stroking it up and down the imagined appendage.
Gregory shuddered. He hadn’t thought about it much, but after being told that unicorn horns were sensitive, he’d gone back to his room for a little experimentation. Suffice to say he’d cut the experiments short on the grounds that he didn’t want whoever washed his sheets to report their findings to the queens or prince. But now, seeing Maud’s gentle and methodic movements, he was beginning to second guess his initial refusal.
“But that’d only be the start,” Maud continued. “All the magazines say that if you really want to please a unicorn, you have to use your…” she paused for dramatic effect, “mouth.” Maud was pleased by the way the stallion gulped as she popped her lips. She extended her tongue and folded it for him, earning a whimper. Teasing colts had always been fun, but never this much. “I’d move my mouth, up and down, up and down,” she bobbed her head back and forth, “and up and down and then I’d stop.”
“W-why would you stop?”
Maud leaned in close until their noses were nearly touching. “So you would beg me to keep going.”
It’s always the quiet ones, Gregory told himself resolutely as he inhaled, finding her distinct scent among they myriad of other aromas. “You, um, smell nice.”
Maud’s face remained unmoved, save for the sudden coloring of her cheeks.
Gregory pulled away, laughing nervously as he denied the mare her cushion. “That is, um, you smell a lot better than anyone else here.”
Not missing a beat, Maud replied as she continued to stare. “That’s not much of a compliment. The place where the dragon migration stops to relieve themselves would smell better than this place.”
“Never been there, but I’ll take your word for it.” Gregory laughed. “But seriously, what’s with these ponies? It’s like this room is one step away from being declared a biological weapon.”
“Really? What’s the last step?” Maud asked.
“Got a match?”
“No, but we can get one after the party.”
It was faint, but Gregory could have sworn he saw the corner of the mare’s mouth creep upwards just a bit. Emboldened to see it again, he pressed on. “But seriously, have these guys never heard of simple bathing? Because if not, that’s definitely a thing I need to teach you guys about.”
“Now that’s something I’d like to see,” Maud admitted as she leaned in closer. “Do you plan on opening a bath house as a means to properly teach ponies to scrub themselves? Will it be an altruistic means of teaching ponies proper hygiene, or will it all be a cover for you to feel up on unsuspecting ponies to your heart’s content?”
Gregory was breathing heavily as he listened to the mare’s honeyed words.
“Because if it’s the latter, I think you might need to get in some…” she paused again. “Practice.”
Gregory narrowed an accusing glare on the mare. “You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you?”
“And if I am?” Maud scooted closer, once more pressing her side against his. “How do you intend to stop me?”
Feeling bold, and possibly inebriated, Gregory declared “Like this,” and nipped at the mare’s ear.
Maud squeaked softly in her throat. Nips were a pretty routine part of pony body language, each conveying a different means of expressing affection. She reminded herself that this stallion was new to Equestria and likely didn’t understand exactly what he’d just said with that action. However, that brand of reasoning did little to stop her hind legs from grinding together as she sat.
Gregory was frozen stiff, terrified of what he’d done. He’d seen ponies nip each other plenty of times. He’d even done it with Blueblood after being assured that it was a perfectly acceptable means of showing platonic friendship. He recalled a time when he’d tried it with Luna, only for her to start tittering uncontrollably before running away. He’d tried asking about it from Celestia or Blueblood, but the two had been aggravatingly evasive. Now he feared he’d done something similar, perhaps even worse, thus ruining his first real friendship outside the castle.
“Did you do that on purpose?” Maud asked.
“Sorry,” Gregory pleaded. “I, um, I’m new to this. I know that’s no excuse, but I’m still learning these things. It was dumb and I-”
“It’s alright,” Maud cut him off, resisting the urge to continue grinding. “You’re still learning, and we all make mistakes. It’s nothing to apologize about.”
Gregory gave a loud sigh of relief.
“You’re still learning, so allow me to give you a lesson.” Maud seized one of Gregory’s forelegs and held it against her chest. “When you do something like that to a mare, don’t be surprised if she’s cross with you when you stop,” Maud said, her voice sounding deeper and more sultry.
Gregory gulped. “Stop? Stop what?”
Maud’s answer was a firm nuzzle into his neck as she pressed herself harder against him. There wasn’t much more talking after that, save for a few sounds of contentment from either pony as they watched the party. Every so often some pony would glance their way with a look Gregory couldn’t quite place, but they were few and far between. Pinkie, demonstrating a remarkable level of self-control, managed to spot the two without running up and pulling them into a bone crushing hug, for which she earned a subtle nod from her sister.
In time the party died down and the guests departed. Blueblood had to personally fetch his ward, lest the mare take advantage of his naïveté and convince him to spend the night at her place. They said their goodbyes and the stallions eventually boarded their luxury carriage back to the castle. The prince bragged about how he’d managed to outmaneuver the other nobility with half-truths, misdirection, and many other things that clearly did not impress his companion.
“You meet any interesting mares?” Blueblood asked with a cheeky grin.
“One.” Gregory gave a noncommittal shrug as he stared dreamily out the window as the buildings went by. “She was… nice, I guess.”
Blueblood, a professional socialite, had learned quickly of Gregory’s reservations and general noncommittal nature. It reminded him a lot of Luna in the time immediately following her return. As such, he felt confident that his aunts would be most pleased when they learned their little human had found himself a crush.
As promised, Gregory was quickly introduced into the castle mail room. It was the public sector, dealing with notifications for castle staff, private deliveries, official requisitions, and so forth. It was office 402, a fairly laid back place where ponies of all tribes carried packages and letters to and from the various stages of processing for delivery. In his orientation he learned that the aspiration of all the public mail staff was the private sector, which managed the private deliveries made to and from the queens and prince.
Training went by fairly quickly, leaving Gregory feel he’d been processed no differently than the box he was now stamping. It was tedious and monotonous work, but the human pony didn’t mind, the sort he felt was best left to a machine rather than wasting the bits on a pony, but he decided to keep such thoughts to himself for now. Truth be told he didn’t mind all that much, as opposed to his other coworkers who regularly made their complaints known.
“And the alicorn damned printer is broken again!” Green Stamp, announced in a semi-formal manner. She was a unicorn with mint green fur and a yellow mane.
“Seriously?” Red Tape groaned, his crimson fur bristling with frustration as he blew the yellow mane with a black strip from his face. He was an earth pony and currently working beside Gregory on the stamp line. “At some point you’ve just gotta accept that buying a new one would be cheaper than shelling out the bits on fixing this hunk of junk every other week.”
“But that would require being efficient and listening to employee complaints,” Gregory commented as he magically levitated the stamp up and down. Imagining himself as a real machine, envisioning what he wished the magic to do, went a long way of simplifying the process; not unlike Green Lantern. Even so, despite the overall simplicity, the process still left him feeling rather winded. “If we were efficient, could this still be called postal work?”
“He’s got you there,” Long Distance smirked as she unloaded her latest delivery onto a table before rubbing her slightly swollen belly. She was a pegasus of dark yellow with a green mane and about two months pregnant. “I, for one, happen to like this job’s paycheck very much and I’d rather not compromise that just yet.”
All ponies working in mail wore the standard uniform of black slacks with blue vests, for which all but Gregory complained. Their rarely seen manager, a black unicorn stallion by the name of Mad Dash (no relation to any walking pride flags you might be thinking of), was special and got to walk around without the slacks.
“Speaking of which, when’s your maternity leave start?” Red asked.
“Not for another couple months. Then it’ll be a good long year before I have to look at your ugly mugs again,” Long laughed. “Why?”
“Just wondering if we’ll be getting a replacement flyer when you’re gone.”
“Would they reassign a temp from another department, or would we get a new hire?” Gregory asked.
“Depends.” Green shrugged uncaringly as he began sorting through the latest deliveries. “A lot of ponies looking for work right now, so my money’s on the latter.”
“I keep hearing about this slump going on, but it’s all second hand stuff,” Gregory chimed in. “Exactly how bad is it?”
“Hoof,” Green corrected. “Second hoof.”
“Whatever.” Gregory had mixed feelings about adjusting his speech to fit pony sensibilities. He understood the importance of assimilation, but such things tended to rub him the wrong way.
“And it’s not as bad as the media likes to suggest, but it’s still pretty bad.”
“I hear its gotten better these last couple weeks,” Green added. “A lot of nobles have suddenly gotten a lot less tight with their money and are investing in a lot of infrastructure stuff.”
“Doesn’t do my sister much good,” Red groaned. “Economy’s gone to crap and she’s still holding out for an office job, on my couch no less.”
“She’s fresh out of university, Red,” Long reassured with a friendly pat on his shoulder. “You know how those types are. She’s still coming off the intellectual high, thinking the world owes her something better.”
Green snorted. “What you oughta do is kick her flank out till she can get a job, at least something part time.”
“Full agreement,” Gregory added. “My parents let me slack about looking for a so-called decent job, and I was unemployed for over a year till I got tired of it and went for minimum wage.”
“That normal?” Red asked. “For humans, I mean.”
“Not really, but we’d been in a slump for a few years by then and it’d become something of a trend nationwide. Strictly speaking, I never even moved out of my parents’ house.” Despite his forced smile, the somber tone was not missed by his coworkers.
“And yet you find yourself sleeping in one of the castle’s luxury apartments.” Long gave him a gentle nudge and a reassuring smile. “I’d imagine they’d be pretty impressed by that.”
Gregory nodded in appreciation before going back to work. These were working ponies, aware of his status but generally uncaring, which he appreciated as it helped him to feel normal. Such had become of his daily routine. Breakfast with the royals in the early hours of the morning, work, magic lessons, and then he was allowed most of the afternoon off to do as he pleased until dinner.
***
“Just breathe and focus,” Peach instructed gently.
Gregory’s current exercise was a frustrating one. Moving two blocks at once was tricky enough. However, now the blocks had colored dots on one side and he had to rotate them around his body while keeping the dotted sides facing him at all times.
“I’m pretty sure blocks aren’t supposed to orbit like this,” he grunted as he felt his concentration slipping from his magical grasp. A sudden tickle in his nose and the resulting sneeze dropped the blocks to the floor. Thoroughly disappointed in himself, Gregory fell to his belly with a huff.
“That was forty seconds,” Peach informed. “A new personal best.”
Unicorns prided themselves on their magic and inability to perform was often a blow against their self-esteem. This proved especially true for adults and other late bloomers. Peach knew that suggesting they slow down or go back a level, at least out loud, would only wound his pride further.
Gregory held out his hoof in front of his face, grimacing as he remembered his missing appendages. “I used to be able to hold things without magic.”
Smiling sympathetically, Peach walked up to his side and began petting his mane gently. He didn’t protest, but neither did he make any sounds of approval.
“Do I even really need magic?” Gregory asked, sitting up on his haunches. “I mean, I can pick up things just fine with hooves.” He demonstrated by picking up a block. “And earth ponies seem to get by just fine.”
“True,” Peach nodded. “But they have their enhanced strength to compensate, and pegasi can use their wings as makeshift graspers. On top of that, being a unicorn means you run the risk of suffering magical buildup if you go without use for too long. Trust me when I say you want to keep the surges to a minimum.”
Gregory grimaced and nodded. Magic was like a dammed river, he’d been told. It needed to let off the excess every now and then or risk overflow, or worse, a rupture.
“Besides, I’m not going to let you give up that easy. We need to get you up to the secondary level.” She grinned wryly. “Or Celestia will have us both sent to her pleasure dungeon.”
Gregory flinched, and for good reason. Peach had been fond of using the threat of the pleasure dungeon ever since she’d convinced Celestia to show them a while back. Just the memory of those chains, hooks, and so-called toys was usually enough to straighten the stallion out whenever he started getting down on himself. As Peach ground her thighs together at the same memory, she considered how else to motivate her student.
At times like this, she decided to turn to the list of suggestions offered to her by the queens. They’d seen many a human pony go through these very same motions and had developed quite the list of strategies. Skimming the paper, she found one she liked near the middle. Appeal to sense of ego, especially regarding being able to show off to friends
“I understand Maud has a bit of a fascination with magic,” she offered suggestively. “Wouldn’t you like to have something to show off to your friend.”
Word spread quickly that the pair had begun hanging out. However, as Gregory shot up to all fours, purpose in his heart, it seemed pitiable that he was the only one ignorant about where this was going.
As the stallion set his sights on the blocks, he tried turning his head to look at them from a different angle. “Maybe there’s some trick I’m missing.”
“Could very well be,” Peach agreed. “Once they’ve learned the basics, most unicorns don’t put too much thought into using magic. It’s like using your legs; you will yourself forward and your body goes along for the ride. I will this block up,” she lifted the block he’d been staring at, “and here it is. I feel the magic pulsing, the same as I would the muscles in my legs.” She set the block back down as a new thought occurred.
Rechecking the list, she found the item at the very bottom. If the student continues to struggle, try steering the conversation towards the memory of what it was like to have hands. Peach frowned. She’d deliberately avoided this item thus far as it seemed cruel to remind her student of what he’d lost. Still, it was written by the queens. Maybe it’d give him the necessary motivation? “Just a suggestion, but if you had hands, how would you go about lifting this block?”
Gregory refocused on the block, now picturing his old body and those beloved hands of his. “I’d reach out,” his horn lit, “and wrap my… wha-?”
It was a hand; transparent and with a vague sparkle to it, but a hand just the same; the position of the thumb making it a lefty. It hovered in the air, just above the block, fingers outstretched and ready to take hold. Gregory blinked and the hand vanished.
“What was that!?” Peach gasped excitedly.
“I…” Gregory tried to look up at his horn. “I just…”
“Do it again! Remember how it felt and focus.”
Gregory remembered how it felt when he’d summoned the hand the first time. The construct reformed in front of his face. At his will, the fingers flexed into a fist and opened up again. He turned the hand around experimentally, turning it a full 720 degrees to find there was no resistance. Satisfied with experimentation, he faced the block once more. Wetting his lips in anticipation, he wrapped the construct’s fingers around the wood and gasped.
“What?” Peach asked.
“I… feel it.” Gregory rubbed the construct’s digits along the smooth surface of the block as a grin grew across his face. “I… feel it!”
“To what degree?” Peach inquired. “There is often a degree of tactical feedback when using basic levitation, but it’s less than normal touch.”
“Then I must be doing it wrong, because it feels the same,” Gregory suggested, the smile never leaving his face as he lifted the block into the air. “The weight… I feel that too.” He bobbed the block up and down, testing how the momentum shifted with his movements. “It’s like a real hand!”
“Fascinating.” Peach leaned forward to examine the construct as Gregory experimented. “Most ponies can’t form a construct like this until they reach the lower master level. I’d never even thought to suggest something like this.”
The mare’s words were definitely giving the human pony’s self-esteem a boost. Holding the block off to the side, he tried summoning a second construct. The right hand popped into existence and Gregory let out a cheer that filled the room. “Yahooooo!”
Peach was left dumbstruck, overcome with the urge to find whoever had written the rule book on the progression of magical advancement in unicorns, and smack them across the face with said book. “How is this possible?”
“Maybe because I used to have hands?” Gregory offered hopefully as he seized the second block. “Like you were saying about will and muscles and all that stuff. I know what hands are supposed to be like, so it’s like muscle memory is meeting me half way or something.”
Peach face-hoofed at this explanation. “So that’s what they meant,” she grumbled under her breath.”
“Say something?” Gregory asked. He wasn’t paying his teacher too much attention as he was carrying on the exercise from earlier, holding both blocks in the hand constructs and rotating them around his head.
***
At the conclusion of the day’s lesson, Gregory, happy as can be, returned to his room. After changing to his more casual clothes, he found a note on the night stand. It was signed from Maud and promptly torn open.
Rocks The boulders of my heart come crashing down An avalanche of granite The igneous of earth speaks to me “Too hot” it says “Let us come up to see the world” it says “Let us come up to see you” it says “We are ready”
P.S. This Saturday the 15th. I’ll meet you at your place.
Gregory smiled and readied a quill and ink.
Dear Maud
This poem seemed unusually whimsical for you, what with the talking rocks. I liked it a lot. The first couple lines seemed a bit off though. I don’t think they fit with the theme of the rest of the poem. If there’s something I’m missing, please let me know.
Till then Gregory
P.S. Have you considered getting a phone? I have a phone in my room. Just a thought.
He sealed the note in one of the envelopes he’d stashed in his night stand, one with the address preprinted in anticipation of her regular poems. Then he slipped the envelope into the suction tube and watched it fly away into the wall. It was only after the letter had vanished that he recalled what day it was and a knock came to the door, startling him.
“Who is it?” Gregory asked, though intuition told him he already knew.
“It’s me,” the familiar voice of Maud answered.
“Me who?” Gregory asked in mock sternness as he made for the door. “If you’re with the government or the church, I don’t take kindly to solicitors.”
“Just open the door.” She was beginning to sound annoyed, so the human pony complied. In walked Maud, looking as she always did since they started hanging out. Gregory had developed an appreciation for the confidence with which she carried herself and in her appearance, as opposed to many of the Canterlot nobility who, at times, were indistinguishable from clowns in his eyes.
“I literally just sent my response. If you’d gotten here just a minute sooner…”
“Don’t spoil anything,” Maud said flatly as she trotted past him. “I’ll read your response for myself.”
“Black tea with lime?” Gregory asked, anticipating her usual.
“Please.”
Gregory readied their respective drinks as Maud sat at the table in the corner. The human stallion’s room was a lot like a one room apartment, only a lot nicer with a complete set of furniture and a bathroom. Eager for a chance to show off, he reformed his constructs and handed Maud her drink as he sat across from her.
“Is that a magical construct?” Maud asked, eyes widened in fascination.
“Is it?” Gregory asked, feigning ignorance as his excitement threatened to boil over. “I hadn’t noticed.”
“Isn’t that supposed to be really advanced?”
“That’s what Peach said,” he admitted, no longer able to keep the grin off his face. He swung the construct from side to side, watching the way Maud followed it like a cat.
Tearing her eyes from the spectacle, Maud reached across the table and grabbed hold of Gregory’s hoof. “I’m so proud of you.”
Embarrassed, Gregory let the construct fall apart as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Thanks a lot.” The way Maud held him gave his hoof an odd tingle, so he eventually pulled free.
“Does this mean you’re an expert now?” Maud asked, taking a sip of her tea.
“Only in this one thing,” Gregory clarified. “I still need to finish memorizing the alphabet and I’ll be good to go to the next level.” Magic was written in elaborate symbols with each one constituting a letter. Spells were letters strung together in words or even sentences. After he’d finished showing off his new magic hands, Peach doubled down on his studying.
“I hear a lot of unicorns tend to forget the alphabet after the basics,” Maud said. “They just focus on what they need for their respective talents and do away with all the rest.”
“Peach was telling me the same thing. But she said I’d best at least run through the alphabet every now and then to make sure I don’t forget until I know what I want to do with my life.”
Despite remaining neutral, Maud still managed to make slight faces whenever she felt strongly enough about something. “Still no thoughts on what your cutie mark might be?”
“Can’t say I do.” Gregory shrugged apathetically as he glanced at his cloth covered flank. “Blue, Celestia, and Luna all say these things can’t be forced and that you just gotta be patient.”
“True enough, but there’s a difference between being patient and being idle. You’ll never find a cutie mark if you just sit about all day. You need to go out and experience the world.”
Gregory grimaced. He’d learned how important cutie marks were to pony society. The queens and prince had explained that they were a reflection of that pony’s destiny and an indicator of their special talents, usually popping up around puberty. He also knew Maud was speaking with genuine concern for her friend, but also that her words came with an unusual level of insistence. “I assume you have something in mind?”
Maud gave a look that Gregory could have sworn looked sadistic. “I have some thoughts.”
Before Gregory could respond, the mare demonstrated her earth pony strength by grabbing his hoof and tossing him across the room, where he landed with a *pomf* on the mattress. The next thing he knew he saw Maud jumping towards him, legs spread out like she was performing a belly flop. He threw his forelegs over his face to brace for impact, but none came. Instead he felt a slight weight resting against his belly. He looked down to see Maud laying on her back, using his chest to prop up her head. “Um… Maud?”
“Shush, you,” she said flatly. “I’m testing to see if you’d make a decent pillow.”
“Uh huh?” he responded skeptically as he felt her shift about against him. It was not an unpleasant feeling. Ultimately he concluded that this was Maud just being Maud and decided to roll with it. “How is it?”
“I’ve had better,” Maud said flatly.
“I have no idea how to respond to that,” Gregory admitted.
“Strive to be better.” It wasn’t a suggestion. “A pillow exists to help ponies sleep. I doubt you’re the sort that’s easily fluffed, what with all those pesky bones.” Maud had a peculiar sense of humor that few could really appreciate. “So you’ll have to do other things.”
Gregory grinned. “How about a belly rub?”
“That sounds lovely,” Maud responded to Gregory’s horror.
He hadn’t actually expected her to accept his offer, thinking she knew he was just joking. Is she calling my bluff or is she actually… Gregory’s thoughts trailed off as he looked down at the mare atop him. Her frock still covered most of her body, especially her privates, but he still felt the temptation. Ever since coming here, he’d felt the urge on more than one occasion to just start petting these adorable little equines. Their fluffy bodies were like a siren song to him, but he’d resisted on the grounds that he assumed it was rude. Then again, if nipping is okay…
“Any day now,” Maud said curtly. She liked Gregory, but could only suffer his obliviousness for so long.
“Right!” Swallowing, Gregory summoned up a single construct. He watched as Maud’s eyes followed its descent to her covered chest. It stopped a second, giving her time to protest. When none came, belly rubs commenced in earnest.
The sounds Maud made were akin to purring as she felt the magical appendage rubbed across her chest and belly. He was careful to never wander too close to her teats, but that was fine. The way he caressed her body was more than enough to appease her.
Gregory focused all his attention on Maud. Through the construct he felt her warmth and the way her muscles tensed and relaxed in his grip. He listened to her moans, adjusting the location and pressure of his hand to whatever seemed to please the mare most. At times he caught himself wandering too far south and was quick to amend the mistake before friendly petting turned into accidental molestation. Instead, he summoned the second construct and began tending to her ears, earning deeper moans.
Hot damn, she sounds into this! Gregory congratulated himself. He wondered if he should try this out with other ponies, though cautioned himself that it still might be a violation of privacy. To be on the safe side, he’d offer to pet Blue next and see how he took it.
“A good start,” Maud moaned. “But you’ll need to do a lot better if you want to be a good pillow.” Please-touch-my-teats-please-touch-my-teats! She pleaded silently, rationalizing that a mare was allowed to fantasize.
“Should I try singing you to sleep?”
“Couldn’t hurt.” Maud hid her disappointment, but decided she was curious to hear human songs.
What followed was a criminally wretched attempt at singing the opening to Attack on Titan. Think the reverse of engrish, only less funny. “How was that?”
“Lousy,” Maud deadpanned as she rolled over to face him directly. “Try again.”
Accepting his Maud-given task, Gregory ran through a short list of some of his favorite songs growing up. All were picked specially for the qualities he felt made them least fit for the lullaby’s Maud had asked for. Most were villain songs and each was sung with a passion it deserved and then some, but Maud told him to cut the crap after the 4Kids opening to One Piece, for which he apologized.
“You’ve had your fun,” she deadpanned. “Now how about a real song.”
His answer came in the form of a soft snore. He smiled at her cute face as she snuggled against his side. Unable to help himself, Gregory chanced reaching out and petting her behind the ears. He was rewarded with a moan as she leaned into his touch, and so continued. They stayed like that for a good long while until Gregory had to get up to pee. Alas, he’d earned no cutie mark, but Maud, in that special way of hers, made it clear that they weren’t going to stop trying until he found his special talent, no matter how many ways she had to use him. Blueblood walked in on that part and practically fainted.
At Gregory’s invitation, Maud had begun more frequent visits to the castle. They’d shared many private meals in his room, which were only occasionally crashed by either Blueblood or Luna. Celestia, sadly, was too busy. Often Maud rested against his side while he told her of his world, but that rarely lasted long as he would soon grow excited and walk animatedly around the room as he acted things out for her amusement, which came in the ever increasing frequency of tiny smiles.
In turn, Maud would explain the details of pony culture that the royals had missed. Ponies were a very physical species. And while the human had never been much of a fan of being touched by strangers, he found the ways Maud would gently press against him quite appealing. As such, Gregory was getting into the habit of petting ponies, but only those he considered close; for the royals he’d maintained discretion and only laid hands on them when in private. Gregory had learned exactly what that nip at the banquet really meant, for which she refused to accept any further apology. She could be very forceful at times, but he didn’t mind. Instead she seemed to delight in torturing him with the details on each and every step she had to take to find relief.
Most recently Gregory had invited Maud to play games with him and Luna, She’d tried many, but found that such things simply weren’t to her liking and contented herself with sitting beside the gamers, just far enough back that the stallion wouldn’t notice the glances she stole of his plot. Luna noticed, though. The queen’s eyebrows bounced suggestively each time the earth mare was caught with her hoof in the cookie jar, so to speak.
“And you used to sleep with rocks under your pillow?” Maud asked as she watched the alicorn and human begin their expedition into the enemy stronghold.
“They were crystals, but yeah.”
“That sounds nice,” Maud said in a monotone that did not betray her interest. “I still sleep with rocks under my pillow.”
“Stop hogging all the ammo,” Luna grunted as her hoof viciously tapped at the buttons.
“Just change weapons then,” Gregory countered, never taking his eye off the screen. “I read that they could help with focus and stuff. It seemed kinda interesting, so I shelled out the twenty bucks for a set of seven, one for each chakra. Find cover already!” he barked. Luna’s health was dwindling as the enemies, an assortment of bizarre aliens, were moving up. “I’ll deal with these guys while you get the health back in the hall.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Luna said through gritted teeth. “I have commanded Equestria’s legions against the horrors of the night since before you were even-” but her tirade was cut short as a sticky grenade appeared on her character’s shoulder.
“Got a spider,” Gregory teased.
“Shut up,” Luna grumbled, not appreciating the in-joke.
Boom! A long pause followed as Luna pointed an accusing hoof at her snickering team mate. “Not. One. Word.”
“Don’t worry,” Gregory assured as he tried to calm down. “I’ll mop up these guys and heal you as soon as I can.”
“Point stealer,” Luna pouted in frustration, but never took her eyes from the screen. Gregory was more bold than her, yet did not encounter any of the same issues. He always seemed to anticipate the enemy movements, pulling back just in time to avoid certain doom. She studied him, plotting her day of vengeance when it would be she, Queen of the Night, who would be the one giving him advice as she swooped in to save the day. Oh, the look on his face then.
“Did they help you focus?” Maud asked, silently glad for a break.
“I’m not quite sure,” Gregory admitted. “I wanna say yes, but it’s possible it was a placebo effect combined with other factors. I was in college and the gym was like five minutes from my dorm, so I got exercise on pretty much every level.” The room was cleared and Gregory headed back over to Luna. “The only thing I know for certain is that whenever I put the things out on the windowsill under a full moon, to charge them, I’d always have the trippiest dreams the next week or so.”
“You’re welcome,” Luna boasted as she saw the icon indicating her character was being revived. “And thank you kindly, comrade in arms.” Her tail swept across the floor and gently brushed against Gregory’s.
Maud caught this and gave the queen a look, which seemed to please the cougar of an alicorn. The earth mare turned her body and also brushed her tail against Gregory’s, though in a manner that was less playful and more possessive. Again, Luna looked pleased, forcing Maud to realize she’d just fallen for the alicorn’s trap.
“Wasn’t your moon,” Gregory said. He’d noticed the sensation in his tail, but ignored it for the screen.
“No matter.” Luna shrugged as she readied her controller once more. “But it sounds like Earth’s minerology is not so dissimilar from Equestria’s.”
“It’s true,” Maud added. “Most ponies only care for gem stones and construction material. It’s only recently with the return of Crystalia that crystals are becoming popular once more. It’s nice to know humans haven’t lost that deeper appreciation.”
“You don’t say.” Gregory glanced back at Maud, surprising her to look up from where she’d been staring. He smiled at her colored cheeks. “Popular how?”
“Video games, for instance.” Maud gestured to the screen. “Refined crystals have always proven ideal for storage of magical energies. But Crystalia’s brought back lost knowledge of how to use them for information storage. They’re library is impressive, but the real archive is a hall of crystal balls that hold the collective knowledge of the ancient days when Crystalia was the capitol of a vast empire that could match even Equestria.”
“Hey!” Luna whined as the screen froze and the word ‘PAUSE’ appeared. She readied herself to give her so-called comrade a good verbal thrashing for this treason, only to find him staring back at Maud with a soft smile.
“What?” Maud asked. “Something on my face?”
“The way you spoke just now,” Gregory beamed. “It sounded, I don’t know.” He blushed. “Passionate.”
From Luna’s perspective, Maud’s flush spread from her cheeks and soon threatened to consume her entire head. All of this while her face remained as neutral as ever. Gregory smiled more, no doubt finding it cute. The queen also noticed that both ponies’ tails were practically wagging with joy.
“We hit a save point in the last room, did we not?” The queen asked.
“Y-yeah,” Gregory answered, remembering himself.
“Good.” Luna turned off the machine, set her controller in its usual place, and stretched her limbs out after sitting for so long. “We will pick up again later, after I have cooled my nerves. You two may do as you wish.” She turned and left them alone in the game room, smiling to herself.
“I know a place that gets imports directly from Crystalia,” Maud said. Normally she wouldn’t mind sitting alone and quiet with the stallion, but only in nicer settings. The abundance of game posters, piles of plushies, and shelves stacked to the brim with board games and video games alike was not to her liking. The dim lighting was a nice touch though, perfect for stealing glances. She’d have to remember that for later. “I could get you some.”
“Well, sure,” Gregory stuttered uncertainly, clearly having not expected such a request. “B-but only if I can get you something too.”
“Sure,” was Maud’s calm reply.
After fetching some money from his room, Gregory checked in with Blueblood to confirm where he was going. It was a little embarrassing, but the human had begrudgingly accepted that the stallion was worried for him and that certain measures should be taken for his protection. The pair set off into the city, accompanied by a guard out of uniform trailing behind them.
Maud paid the guard, a unicorn mare named Strong Hoof, no mind. She’d also accepted that her stallion, for he was hers, was important and absolutely deserved to be protected. Since the night of the banquet she’d gone home and done as much research as she could on humans of the past, rekindling her fillyhood fascination with the creatures of legend. And now she had one of her very own, and he was a unicorn to boot. However, the question of how much of him was hers was still unclear.
“Sweetie,” Maud said experimentally as they walked together. She wasn’t sure if they were quite ready for pet names just yet.
Gregory’s ear flicked. “Yeah?”
Relieved at the lack of protest, Maud ventured on. “Out of curiosity, why do you always wear pants? Most ponies don’t usually wear pants, except for special occasions.”
Gregory glanced back at the blue slacks covering his flanks and hind legs. He’d picked them because they were comfortable, but also because Blueblood had said that looser clothes were less likely to make ponies think he was giving them an invitation, as it were. “Habit, I guess. I’ve worn pants all my life, and there’s kind of a nudity taboo back home, so it’s how I was raised and it’s just more comfortable for me. Why?”
“Just curious,” Maud said dismissively. “It’s not like I’m harboring a secret grudge against you for hording those flanks of yours all to yourself.”
Gregory snorted appreciatively. This brand of playful flirting had become standard for their relationship; at least Gregory was fairly certain it was just playful. He was still learning pony body language and Maud had proven especially tricky at times. However, there were times he swore he saw indicators of something more. “Alright then. Why do you always wear a frock?”
“Tradition, mostly,” Maud answered. “This is what my ancestors wore as they worked the land. Before the Pies were rich, we were humble farmers, and garbs like this were all we could afford to protect our bodies from the elements. Now it’s just an old custom that looks good on me, so I’ve been told.”
“It does, but wow,” Gregory chortled. “Way to one up a guy.”
Maud shrugged. “It’s your own fault. I’d expected better from a story teller.”
“Oh?” Gregory raised an eyebrow in intrigue. The challenge had been issued and he was honor bound to accept. “Shall I then tell you the tale of a dreaded curse, passed down through my family for generations as our reward for conquering a foul beast?”
“You may, if you’d like.”
Despite her poker face, Gregory was slowly learning the mare’s tells. She was excited. “So vile the creature that even in death it cursed my ancestor with a terrible mark capable of condemning all who see it into stone.” He whispered the last word. “Hero that he was, my ancestor did everything to purge the mark from his flesh, be it fire or knives, but nothing worked. He hid the mark, hoping to carry it to his grave. Tragically, years later a son was born to him, baring the same mark. The village found out. And despite his bravery against countless foes in the past, they still cast him and his family from their midst.
“And so they went on in secret, each generation baring the shame of the mark and learning to hide it. Unaware were they for the longest time that the mark was not just of the beast’s wretchedness, but also it’s cunning. They were clever, my ancestors were. Slowly they returned to society, wealthy and powerful thanks to the cursed mark, though they kept it hidden and dealt harshly with those who discovered it. They chose their friends carefully and enemies more so, working, growing, and ascending the ranks until they were a mighty clan that sat atop the world.
“Alas, in their arrogance, their secret was made known, and the people readied to cast them out once more. They were more powerful this time, and not as honorable as the hero who spawned them. It was a grueling war that lasted for decades. In time the people won, and slaughtered as many of my ancestors as they could find. So eager were the foolish people to see the war ended that they carelessly overlooked the bastards born to the family servants.
“It is from these that I descend, carrying the mark of old as my eternal burden. That is why I wear pants, dear Maud, to hide my family shame and protect the lives of all those I treasure.” His story finished, Gregory smiled at her, earning a blush.
“Don’t stop there,” Maud insisted. “What was the beast, and what does the mark look like?”
“Careful fair maiden,” Gregory warned, now fully engrossed in the act. “For to share this dreaded knowledge may fill thee with such terror as to forever rob you of pleasant dreams.” He hardened his face, fighting the urge to laugh. “Tell me then, fair maiden. Do you truly wish the burden of such knowledge?”
“For my stallion, I will proudly share in his burden,” Maud proclaimed dully.
“Very well,” Gregory snorted, feeling his cheeks heat as he leaned in to whisper in her ear. “The name of this wretched beast, of whom has condemned my family to eternal suffering, is none other than…” he paused, building suspense. “Uranus,” which he pronounced as ‘your anus’.
Maud ceased her trot, snorting softly as she covered her face with her hoof. Gregory grinned as he watched her body tremble and listened to the chortles and snorts that broke through her barrier. It was a tricky thing to make the earth mare laugh, but the human found it immensely rewarding each and every time. It was almost a minute before she calmed enough for them to press on.
They arrived at the store Maud had promised without incident. Even nobles who seemed to recognize one or both of them walked past with little more than a casual greeting. Apparently word of Blueblood’s declaration of ownership had spread, meaning the average pony of ambition considered the prince as the primary venue of acquiring the asset, leaving Gregory relatively unmolested. Gregory pushed aside thoughts on how so many seemed to view him as property to be purchased, rationalizing that this was just how nobility were, and focused on the pony he genuinely cared about.
Inside the store was an array of different colored stones, all set out in displays similar to that of jewelry. Gregory quickly spotted a set of seven just like the first ones he’d bought back home and pointed them out. Maud bought them, along with something she slipped into her frock pocket before Gregory could see.
When it came time to choose his gift for her, the mare remained frustratingly unconcerned, saying she’d be fine with whatever. Treating this as another challenge, Gregory dismissed Maud to the front of the store where he could shop in peace. Finally he found something that caught his eye. After listening to the salesmare’s description of the stone’s lore, he handed her the bits without a second thought.
“What do we have here?” Maud asked as she looked at the smooth stone of layered blue.
Gregory knew she knew what it was. She was Maud, after all. But he appreciated her giving him the opportunity to explain it. “Blue lace agate.” He beamed. “It’s said to engender tranquility and even bring happiness. It’s also a throat stone, which is supposed to help with communication. I saw it and, well, it made me think of your eyes.”
Wordlessly Maud held out her hoof and accepted the stone. She regarded it a moment, lightly touched it to her lips, and placed it in her back pocket. “Thank you, sweetie,” she said, hoping it didn’t sound too forced. “It’s a lovely gift. I’ll be sure to add it to my collection.”
There was something about the way she looked at him that made Gregory’s heart start thumping. They left, the guard still in tow, and for a while said nothing. Gregory’s mind raced with images of Maud kissing the stone, wondering what those lips might feel like. The more he thought, the more he realized he really wanted to know. As he reflected over the day in his mind, recalling all the little things they’d said and done, a question began to loom, one that demanded an answer.
“Hey, Maud.” Gregory spoke meekly. They’d taken a detour into the park.
“Yes, sweetie?”
“About what you said back there, you know, with me being your stallion.”
Maud was fairly certain her stomach had just done a backflip. “Yes.”
“I’m still new to all this.” It was the excuse he always offered before potentially putting his foot/hoof in his mouth. “But just so there’s no, um, misunderstanding…”
“I like you,” Maud said bluntly. She went forward a ways before she realized Gregory was no longer following her. She turned around to face him fully, staring intently as she waited for his response under the cool shade of a tree. A part of her felt that she was worrying over nothing, but that part was overruled by the unruly feeling of a confessing mare. “Gregory?”
“Maud,” he said after realizing he’d been slow to respond the first time. He met her eyes, the eyes of the first normal pony he’d really opened up to since coming to Equestria. Whether it was her eyes, those lakes of blue inviting him to jump in and swim for hours, or perhaps being in a crystal shop had given him some good vibes, Gregory didn’t especially care. He owed her an answer. “Maud. I…”
But his words were cut short as his lips were suddenly consumed by hers. Maud’s hooves were that of a working mare, rough yet sturdy. In contrast, her lips were as soft as velvet. The kiss was brief, a spur of courage to claim what she wanted. She pulled back, feeling a surge of guilt for stealing her stallion’s kiss so abruptly. Flirting was all well and fun, but this was a step too far in her opinion. She readied herself for his answer in earnest, more certain than ever that she’d made a terrible mistake.
Maud was less than an inch away before she felt the familiar contact of Gregory’s lips as he held her head in place with a hoof. Gregory’s kissing me! That thought repeated a hundred times over in her mind over the next couple seconds. Though her body was still, her heart threatened to burst from her chest at any moment, no doubt with the intent of performing cartwheels that would put her pink sister to shame.
Gregory’s lips were chapped and his kissing clumsy and inexperienced. Emboldened by his answer to her confession, Maud readied herself to give him a proper lesson. She started by pressing her tongue forward, requesting entry. It was granted as she began exploring the confines of his mouth. The taste was divine as his tongue met hers, pressing against one another in gentle greeting. As they danced in each other’s mouths, Maud paid special attention to his front teeth. They were sharp, like a predator’s, designed for consuming meat. The analysis proved prophetic as the human pony began devouring her lips the same as she had done with him. Fast learner, she thought before pulling back.
Gregory inhaled deeply through his mouth, savoring the mare’s aftertaste. “Wow,” was all the lauded orator could come up with to voice his emotions. A part of him thought that what they’d done had happened too quickly. They’d known each other a while, but kissing like that just seemed too sudden.
On the other hand, Gregory was still riding the high of the moment. Celestia had once told him that ponies fall in love a lot easier than humans and that being a pony meant he’d be more susceptible to such inclinations. While he’d initially dismissed her words, the weight of their truth had come crashing down with the full force of a pair of soft lips.
I like Maud, he thought with the relief of realization as his feelings for the mare suddenly made so much more sense. I really really like Maud.
“Wow,” Maud said right back. She lowered herself to the soft grass below and motioned for him to follow.
“That was… Wow!” He said as he settled beside her.
“You said that already,” Maud deadpanned.
“And it’s no less true,” Gregory chuckled. “I mean… that was-”
“I know,” Maud cut him off. “I was there.”
The human was now grinning like a complete fool. “Yeah. Yeah you were.”
“Does this mean…” Maud hesitated. What they’d done was pretty definitive, but she needed to remove all doubt.
“God you’re beautiful,” Gregory confessed. He was promptly winded by a pouncing predator knocking him on his back. The predator, who was suspiciously Maud-shaped, loomed over him intimidatingly as she set her hooves to either side of his head and rested her belly against his. She was heavy, and he knew she was using her legs to keep her full weight from crushing him as his back was pressed into the grass. He could feel a couple soft cushions around the groin area, each with a sharp button that poked into his tender underside.
“Say that again,” Maud growled as she leered at her prey. The way he was giggling, despite being completely at her mercy, was threatening to kill the mood. She wiggled her backside enticingly until she felt a growing bulge of her own. It was criminally confined behind those cursed trousers, but she’d wait for its liberation later. The way it nestled so neatly between her teats was good enough for her, at least for now. A mare had to be patient with her stallion, after all.
Maud was serious, and Gregory wanted to be serious for her, but he was just too happy. This mare, his dearest friend, this awkward yet funny beast of a beauty wanted him. He’d had only a single girlfriend in his life and that was back in middle school. Since then he’d more or less made peace with his social awkwardness preventing him from finding anyone. Yet here she was, this sexy strong mare, and heiress to a fortune, was currently grinding against his erection in the middle of the park.
Wait…
Gregory tried looking around, fearful that other ponies might be looking at them in disgust. What if some entitled noble saw us? he worried. Would they do something? Would we… His train of thought was cut short when he felt the familiar texture of Maud’s hoof press against his cheek, guiding him to look back at her.
“Say. It. Again.” Maud’s demand had the unmistakable air of command about it. However, the passion behind it erased all traces of fear the human pony might have felt. Instead, he could only see the love in those eyes that bore down on him in hungry desire.
“You.” Slowly he slid his legs up her sides. “Are.” He wrapped them around her shoulders and pulled her close. “Beautiful.”
It had been an interesting return trip to the castle. With Maud by his side, Gregory was met by the royal family, all of whom were struggling to keep a straight face. He was barely able to utter a syllable before Luna scooped him up in a hug that nearly turned his bones into powder. His mare saved him, thankfully, as the rest of the royals poured forth their congratulations for being courted by such a fine mare.
When asked how they already knew, the royals said it was the guard they sent who ran ahead of them to deliver her report. The secret of the queens’ vast network of spies across the empire would remain safe another day.
The next day, still in the afterglow of finding a real girlfriend, or rather fillyfriend, Gregory was greeted by a rapid knock at the door. He should have been more suspicious, for upon opening it he was immediately torpedoed into the wall by the pony-shaped cotton candy. She crushed him in a hug nearly as strong as Luna’s, singing her excitement at her sister finding a coltfriend. Afterwards she began hopping around the room, talking a mile a minute about how happy she was. Gregory was only able to gleam every other word, making out something along the lines of getting a house, starting a family, having lots and lots of babies, something about a clone army, and many more things which all involved a party somehow.
Truth be told, Gregory had begun zoning out after a while. Just listening to this mare was exhausting. His attention was caught by her bouncing breasts. They weren’t all that different from the pair normally found on human women, aside from their location under her belly and between her legs. Location aside, he definitely felt himself enticed by the view. They bounced and swayed with the same energy and abandon rarely found outside of certain kinds of anime.
Gregory reflected on how he’d never really looked at ponies this way. Sure he’d noticed a few flanks here and there, but he’d only recently begun noticing ponies as beings of beauty and desire. He concluded Maud was to blame, for which she’d likely accept full responsibility for his sexual reawakening into bestiality, if you could call it that. But that thought lead to a more pressing issue. First of all, the cotton candy, or rather Pinkie Pie, was Maud’s younger sister. Secondly, and far more urgently, was that his pants had somehow been thrown half way across the room, and that he’d been staring at a sexy mare’s sexy breasts for the last few minutes.
“Hello!” Pinkie cheered, having materialized right in front of the human. Her eyes beamed seductively as they trailed down his body to where his hooves now covered. She made a sound of disappointment. “Aww. Does wittle Gweggy Weggy want to come out and pway?”
“No! No he does not,” Gregory barked, baring his teeth in anger. “And shame on you for hitting on your sister’s boyfriend.” He had to turn this around somehow and convince her to leave.
“One. You’re my sister’s coltfriend,” Pinkie corrected, trying her best to look serious. She clearly needed practice. “Two. So what?”
“So what?” Gregory repeated, dumbstruck by the question.
“Yeah. So what? What’s the big deal?” Pinkie shrugged, looking like she didn’t have a care in the world.
A hundred and twelve reasons for not sleeping with your sister’s boyfriend flooded Gregory’s mind, so much so that he could barely bring himself to speak.
“I mean, we’re sisters after all. And since I don’t have a stallion right now, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing.” Pinkie batted her eyelids playfully as she took a step forward. “Besides, what are you covering up for? It’s not like you don’t have anything I haven’t seen on a thousand other stallions… or do you?” She added in intrigue.
“For god’s sake,” Gregory groaned. It was too early for this. “I’m not cheating on Maud!”
This stopped Pinkie in her tracks as she regarded him in confusion. “Cheating? But I never said you were cheating. Unless…” Her eyes narrowed accusingly. “Unless you’ve got something to hide, bucko!” Suddenly the lights went out and she pulled out a lamp to shine in his face. “Spill it, bub! Have you been cheating on my big sister in the,” she stopped to check the watch she suddenly had, “eleven hours since you became a couple?”
After adjusting to the light, Gregory did his best to glare at Pinkie in complete disbelief. “By all that’s holy, how did you know that?” he deadpanned.
“Hey! I’m the one asken questions around here, Greggy-poo, so you’re gonna spill it. Have you been cheating on my sister?” She pressed the light closer.
“Gah! No.” He batted away the lamp. “Jesus, what’s wrong with you?”
“Okay,” Pinkie said casually. She pushed the lamp aside to parts unknown as the lights returned to normal. “Just checking.”
“Bu-wha?” The human gestured impotently around the room, grasping for any way to make sense of what just happened. “You’re the one trying to make me cheat!”
“No I’m not,” Pinkie said without a care in the world. “I just thought I’d share my sister’s coltfriend. Toootally different thing.” She made a sweeping motion with her hoof. “We’re sisters. It’s, like, in the rule book that we get to borrow each other’s stuff.”
“I’m not stuff,” Gregory barked back.
“Well duh.” Pinkie looked at him as though he were going out of his way to not make sense. “You’re a stallion, and also my sister’s coltfriend. You’re not stuff, but you’re still totally and completely borrowable.”
“My head hurts,” Gregory groaned. He pressed a hoof to his forehead while keeping the other covering his privates. The cotton candy shaped like a pony was too much.
Suddenly the cotton candy jumped back, gasping audibly as she pointed down at Gregory’s swimsuit area. “Y-y-y-y,” she stuttered.
“Oh for god’s sake,” Gregory whined. “You just said you’ve seen a thousand other guys’ junk before, now suddenly your modest or something? And before it was hyper, accusing, and then all happy again. Just pick a mood already.”
“Y-y-your flank,” she stuttered.
“My…” Gregory looked down at his flank; the one Pinkie had a clear view of. “What about it?”
“It’s blank,” Pinkie said almost accusingly. “You don’t have a cutie mark.”
“Oh.” Gregory could only sit in quiet contemplation at this sudden infusion of sense. The cotton candy’s surprise at an adult like him not having a mark was the first reasonable thing she’d done all day, and it was only barely morning. “That’s… um…”
“Does Maud know?”
“What?”
Pinkie lunged forward, grabbing Gregory’s face and pulling him so close their eyes touched. “Does. Maud. Know?”
“Gregory.” Came the carefree voice of Luna as she merrily entered the still open door. “I was just walking by and I thought I could walk you down to…” The queen went silent as she took in the scene from Gregory’s discarded pants, to the dent in the wall, and finally to the familiar pink mare who looked to be straddling him while both looked at her in surprise. She coughed to clear her throat, readying herself to sound regal. “Customarily, it is considered good manners to put a sock on the door when-”
“Luna!” Pinkie yelled. Effortlessly she flipped Gregory over, holding his barrel beneath her foreleg with his rear facing the queen. “Look.”
Luna nodded, squinting her eyes as if in deep thought. The plot being presented for her inspection was rather nice. She preferred her stallions with a bit more muscle, but these looked adequate to get the job done. It would not be terribly difficult to train him right. Between his legs dangled a decent pair of balls and an unsheathed human cock. In her many centuries of living, the sight before her could only be considered slightly above average. Bonus points were awarded for the flank belonging to someone she knew and liked, more so for the way his struggling against the earth mare’s grip caused his parts to dangle and flop about in a manner she found enticing. Amidst this struggle, his anus somehow managed to remain obstructed by his tail, which she found disappointing. And lastly were the memories of just what human endurance was capable of the last time she’d befriended a human pony stallion. She didn’t even realize that she licked her lips.
“See!” Pinkie insisted, bringing Luna back to reality.
“Y-yes. I see.” Luna composed herself, but still wasn’t sure what the issue was. “But pray tell, what do you see?’
“This!” Pinkie gritted her teeth as she jabbed a hoof into the stallion’s blank flank, causing him to yelp. “There’s no cutie mark!”
“Oh that,” Luna beamed with a soft giggle. “Yes, I was aware.”
Pinkie’s jaw dropped about two feet. She gave it a yank and it snapped back up, somehow rolling and making the sound of an old roll out window blind. “You knew?” She dropped the stallion as she fell to her hooves.
It took all of Luna’s might to keep from falling to the floor in laughter when the human stallion scrambled for the bathroom to retain what remained of his dignity.
“You knew and you never said anything about it?” Pinkie berated the queen.
Luna kept her hoof firmly in place to stifle her laughter until she felt sure of her ability to speak. “Ahem. The issue never came up?” She gave an apologetic shrug.
“What about Maud?” Pinkie asked with deadly seriousness, apparently finding the practice she lacked from earlier.
“I’m honestly not sure. Gregory!” Luna called to the bathroom.
“What!?” Gregory yelled irately.
“Has your fillyfriend gazed upon the blankness of your flank?”
It was about this time that Gregory, thinking of anything he could to calm down his erection, also concluded that mares were all crazy. “We talked about it, but I never showed her, if that’s what you mean,” he growled, certain that Luna was likely lost in some dirty fantasy.
“She knew!?” Pinkie whaled. “She knew and she still made out with you in the park like that? Celestia’s sake, there was tongue! No offense,” she apologized softly to Luna.
“None taken,” Luna said, the smile on her lips threatening to reach her ears.
“How the hell did you know that?” Gregory demanded.
“Duh! In the letter she wrote me, silly. She’s been telling me about you since she started courting you. How many times do I gotta say that we’re sisters? We share things. I’d just got the letter a few hours ago and immediately boarded the train to wish you, then her, the best of happiness.”
“The Element of Laughter brings up a fair point,” Luna said, suddenly remembering that Gregory was no ordinary pony. “I’d certainly loath to learn if my sister withheld details upon acquiring a new lover. Sharing is a perfectly normal thing to do between mares.”
After about ten minutes of explanation, the mares were briefly banished from Gregory’s room to allow him to get dressed before explanations could begin in earnest. Not only were ponies much more open about their sexuality, but they lacked many of the taboos the human had grown up with. Chief among them was the lack of rigidity around relationships and the acceptance of incest. In the former, the naturally polygamous ponies were free to do as they pleased outside of heat, which was the only time there were serious consequences. Upon marriage, it was somewhat frowned upon, but not outright discouraged, for ponies to sleep around outside the herd, but it was rarely done and generally only happened with same sex relationships. Regarding incest, pony magic had effectively removed all consequences of inbreeding. It was less common than non-incestuous relationships, but no less socially acceptable. In fact, Pinkie’s proposal of sharing her sister’s stallion was considered so ordinary that the cotton candy barely considered it worth explaining. There was, however, one taboo that was still enforced.
“Let me get this straight,” Gregory said as he rubbed his still aching head. A fresh cup of Jasmine tea sat before him. “I’m a minor because I don’t have a cutie mark?”
“The specifics of the law vary from region to region, with some setting stipulations on age or requiring an occupation,” Luna lectured. “However, the general consensus across most of the empire is that a pony is not a legal adult until after they’ve acquired a cutie mark.”
Gregory groaned. “Hypothetically speaking, if a pony gets their mark at a really young age, let’s say ten…”
“Then the legal code of most districts would recognize that pony as an adult, perfectly capable of giving consent,” Luna added, having anticipated where this question was going. “Such things are rare, mind you, but rarely do they lead to the kind of abuses you might be imagining.”
Gregory downed his cup in one gulp, wondering if he should consider taking up drinking for a hobby.
“This is really fascinating and all,” Pinkie interjected impatiently. “But what about Maud? If he’s not legal, does that mean she’s in trouble?”
Gregory choked on his tea, having not considered that. He looked up to Luna, eyes pleading for the queen to put his worries to rest.
“The law is flexible,” Luna replied calmly. “In recognition of Gregory’s age and the fact that nothing happened apart from kissing,” she paused, eyeing the human questioningly. He shook his head with much zeal. “Then I don’t imagine there will be much issue,” she concluded casually.
Both Pinkie and Gregory sighed in relief, but the former wasn’t done yet.
“Don’t look too pleased with yourself, bucko!” Pinkie warned.
“What?”
“We might have dodged a bullet this time, but I’m not letting my big sis get in trouble just because of your blank flank, baka.”
“Um… what?” The mare’s elaborate accusations were not helping what Gregory was fairly certain was a migraine. “Did you just say-”
“I called you a silly colt,” Pinkie cut him off. “I don’t mean to be mean, but it’s a little frustrating when my sister’s first coltfriend in, like, forever, doesn’t seem to care that his fillyfriend is at risk of being a pedophile.”
“I haven’t even had my morning coffee yet,” Gregory whined. “Also you tackled me into a wall. I think I’m entitled to not be working at a hundred percent at the moment.”
“Indeed,” Luna said reassuringly as she levitated another cup of tea before the stallion. “Besides, Canterlot’s laws are by far the most liberal regarding such matters. While it would be best to maintain discretion should something happen, I do not foresee any serious consequences, apart from the usual,” she added with a suggestive smile.
“What?” Pinkie and Gregory asked as one.
“Indeed. Before my banishment, it was deemed perfectly acceptable for ponies of status or profession to take in young foals as apprentices, teaching them in the ways of their craft, the etiquette of court, and even the nature of relationships.” Luna sighed in disappointment. “Such a shame for such a practical means of teaching to be dropped by the wayside, all in favor of these,” she snorted in disgust, “public schools.”
“Can I go back to bed now?” Gregory begged, not wanting to think about the good old days when pedophilia was more accepted. “I feel sick.”
“Truly?” Luna placed a hoof over Gregory’s forehead. “Hmm. There does seem to be a bit of a fever. I’ll escort you to the castle infirmary.”
When Gregory made to stand, he found his legs immediately give out beneath him. Pinkie lunged to grab him, but stopped in midair when Luna caught him in her magic, granting the pink mare the opportunity once more to spit in the face of gravity as she floated back down with the grace of a feather. Luna smiled sympathetically at the weary stallion and gently set him over her back, despite his weak protests. Meanwhile, Pinkie, having formulated a most pinkalishious plan to save her sister from her coltfriend’s flanks, galloped off in the opposite direction.
Gregory woke up in the infirmary, tucked tightly into soft white bed sheets. The infirmary was a sterile white room resembling that of a hospital with a large curtain separating this side of the room from the front. He checked the clock to find he’d been napping for nearly two hours. “Late for work,” he grumbled.
“Now none of that,” Nurse Stitches warned. “You’ve got a slight temperature. We applied a salve and it’s gone down, but I’d like to hold you here for at least another hour. In the meantime, if you’re feeling up to it, would you like to see your visitors?”
“Visitors?” Gregory asked. “Sure, I guess.”
Stitches pushed the curtain back to reveal a sitting area occupied by Blueblood, Luna, and Maud, all three of whom rushed forward at the nurse’s beckoning.
“Gregory, my dear boy,” Blueblood cooed as he held his friend’s hoof. “Are you well? Does it hurt?” Suddenly his look changed from concern to anger. “I swear to you, I’ll see that pink monstrosity is thrown into the asylum with the other lunatics where she belongs.”
“I wouldn’t recommend that,” Maud deadpanned as she effortlessly shoved Blueblood aside and took his place holding Gregory’s hoof. “Does it hurt, sweetie?”
Gregory blinked as he stared between the mare and the irate stallion climbing to his hooves, too fearful to speak.
“You! How dare you,” the prince fumed. “I’ll see to it that that sister of yours is locked away for the rest of her delusional days.”
“We already tried committing her,” Maud deadpanned as she stroked Gregory’s hoof, never taking her eyes off her stallion. “They kept sending her back.”
“What?” Gregory and Blueblood asked.
“She’s been banned from over thirty asylums across the empire,” Maud replied.
The room shook with Luna’s guffaws as she walked around Gregory’s other side and stroked his mane. “Are you enjoying the show as much as we are?”
“Can you three please use your inside voices!?” Nurse Stitches fumed.
“I can,” Maud said, raising her free hoof.
“Shut it!” The nurse snapped and pointed her hoof accusingly between the visitors. “Now I said you three could visit, but only if you didn’t aggravate my patient’s stress levels. If you fail to comply, I’ll be forced to ask you to leave. I don’t care who you are. In this room, I am the law!”
The royals and heiress had the decency to look embarrassed, which Stitches took as acceptance of the rule. She went over to her desk to perform some paperwork, but promised to expel them all the moment anyone became unruly. Blueblood came up alongside Luna and smiled gently at the sick stallion, leaving him thoroughly surrounded by the ponies he considered his closest friends. It was comforting.
“We were actually just talking about the,” Blueblood coughed, “incident earlier.”
“I’m sorry for my sister’s behavior,” Maud said, pulling his hoof meaningfully close to her chest. “I hope you understand she just gets carried away with things, but she’s really a nice mare.”
“I’m not sleeping with her,” Gregory said flatly, his tone fully conveying his feelings regarding the pink mare.
“Fair enough,” Maud nodded. “Although, I am a bit disappointed my sister got to see you without pants before I could.”
“That’s precisely the issue we need to address,” Blueblood said sharply.
“Agreed,” Luna added, holding out her hoof to silence her nephew before he said something he’d regret. “To be clear,” she addressed Gregory, “we cannot afford to be terribly patient in waiting for you to discover your cutie mark.” She glanced at Maud. “Some of us less than others.”
“Alright,” Gregory said uncertainly, suddenly feeling a bit claustrophobic at the way these ponies leaned in around him.
“Which is precisely why we agreed to that pink fool’s suggestion to seek professional help,” Blueblood added.
“Should I be worried?” Gregory asked. “Because I kinda wish I was let in on the decision making for my own life.”
“Trust me, sweetie. This is for the best.” Maud gently kissed Gregory’s hoof.
Gregory felt himself smile a bit at the mare’s show of affection. The care in her voice filled him with reassurance. “Alright,” he sighed relenting. “What exactly is this ‘professional’ help?” It was a question that, upon leaving his lips, immediately filled the stallion with a feeling of imminent doom.
***
“Cutie Mark Crusader Late Bloomer Assistors!” The three fillies shrilly proclaimed as they pressed their rumps together in some sort of salute. The unicorn, pegasus, and earth fillies all looked to be in their mid to late teens and wore red capes bearing the sigil of their club, a three colored shield matching their respective manes and cutie marks.
Staring in grim fascination, Gregory sat on a cushion in the room that was usually the sight of his magic lessons. It had been repurposed to more resemble the playroom of a kindergarten with a paint stand, haphazardly stacked tools, instruments, toys, and various other objects scattered about in three distinct areas.
“Alright, Mr. Greg,” began the country sounding Apple Bloom who seemed like the defacto leader. “Ya ready ta start the day’s crusade?”
Gregory slowly turned his head around the room, his eyes roaming across the piles of stuff as he searched before landing back on the fillies. “You’re the professionals meant to help me?”
“Sure as shootin we are,” Apple Bloom beamed, unfazed by his skepticism.
“Normally we’d let the Canterlot chapter of the Crusaders deal with a local boy,” Sweetie explained, “but we were called in special by none other than the queen herself.”
Despite their youth, the three fillies had already started up a club meant to help ponies with cutie mark related issues. It was vaguely therapeutic in how they had described it, counseling ponies who didn’t like, understand, or even have their cutie marks. Gregory was still having difficulty accepting that this club, led by these fillies, held chapters in over a dozen other towns and cities across inner Equestria, and counted among its ranks over a hundred ponies, including professional psychiatrists who had latched onto the brand name.
Mares, no matter the age, Gregory amended his initial theory, are crazy.
“Enough jibber jabber, girls,” Apple Bloom stated. “Time to get today’s crusading under way.”
“And save Maud from becoming a pedophile!” Scootaloo added.
Ponies were terrifyingly open about these things, Gregory concluded as they pulled him up towards the first of the day’s trials. Not only had they been called upon by Luna and Pinkie, mares they considered good friends, but the mares had also made it clear that this duty was especially important because of his relationship with Maud, and for the crown’s intention to used him for breeding stock. It was terribly humiliating, making the stallion feel like a child or piece of property being tossed about with no regard for how he felt. He almost quit before they even started, but then the vile and cursed Sweetie Belle made a face that nearly sent him back to the infirmary.
As he was guided through the various tasks, there were times when Gregory could have sworn he heard the Montage song from South Park https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPFCHuEegsk
Scootaloo had him try out a number of exercise and sporting equipment, commenting that he’d need to tone himself up if he wanted to be ready for an earth pony. It was a sentiment Apple Bloom shared, telling anecdotes she’d heard from her siblings about what happened when earth ponies got carried away with lovers outside their tribe, especially the glass canons that were unicorns. To surmise, it was basically death by snoo-snoo. All of this was explained by the tiny winged pegasus as she gave her instructions, leading her wings to gradually fluff out. They even played a little ball, proving to all that the human pony still had much to learn about using hooves.
With no luck in sports, Gregory was hurried along to the trade section. There he was instructed by Apple Bloom in various crafts he could learn. Ponies like Pinkie, she described, had their talents and passion in something that was more or less a hobby, but that their professions were often in related fields. The Apple Clan, as she bragged, was lucky in that their marks generally related directly to their various skills. However, this did not mean that one kind of mark was wholly better than another. Each mark was as different as the pony they belonged to, making them difficult to truly measure. Another example was how many unicorns had generic marks for magic, but that their personalities had led them to mastering magic for specified uses.
It was learned explanations like that that made Gregory almost forget he was being lectured to by a naked teenager who was probably only legal in Japan.
Reassured that today was strictly a trial run and that they just wanted to give him a feel for their lessons, Gregory was lead from the largely untouched crafts over to the arts section. After demonstrating her own gift for song, Gregory tried to match it with human melodies. She was very polite in how gently she let him down, saying that the songs were good but that he should probably restrict himself to karaoke and not a proper stage. Drawing and sculpting weren’t much better.
They were about to call it a day and go over what they’d learned so far before Gregory suggested story telling. The three fillies turned off the lights and gathered around a camp fire, which they’d somehow already lit. They smiled optimistically, but it was clear they weren’t expecting much. Sure enough, much to Gregory’s relief, they were pleasantly surprised by his retelling of Disney’s Aladdin.
“Now there’s an idea,” Scootaloo cheered. “You could be a professional story teller, going from town to town and weaving tales to awe your audiences.”
Gregory half smiled at the fillies’ enthusiasm. The idea was cute, but he didn’t much care for the notion of traveling or performing for an audience on a regular basis.
“Maybe we should introduce him to some performers we know,” Sweetie suggested. “They could provide the special effects while he does the narration.”
“First thing’s first, Crusaders.” Apple Bloom stomped her hoof down. “This seems like a pretty good lead, but we can’t get ahead of ourselves. Mr. Greg,” she said, turning to face him.
“I prefer Gregory.”
“For the next step in this phase of analysis,” she held a hoof to her chest, turning her nose up as she tried to sound as professional as possible. “We would like to follow you around and observe you in your natural environment to see if you might have any mark related inclinations that we haven’t yet observed.”
The other two came up to either side of their leader, proudly mirroring her posture.
“We request that you do your best to ignore us,” Sweetie said. “Just try and act natural.”
“But also try out some new things,” Scootaloo added. “Maybe look for more opportunities to tell stories to your friends.”
“Those are contradictory statements,” Gregory deadpanned. “I can’t act natural and do new stuff for you to see at the same time. Also, I’m not letting you follow me,” he said finitely.
“Told you he wouldn’t go for it,” Sweetie whispered, earning an elbow to the ribs.
“Then how about this,” Apple Bloom offered. “Cutie marks usually come around durin some kind of significant event, like a show. How ‘bout we round up a few of your close friends for a little show?”
Gregory touched his hoof to his chin. “I guess I’d be comfortable with that, if it’s only a few friends.”
“Cutie Mark Crusaders Audience Assemblers!” The three cheered, touching flanks in that same bizarre salute before crusading right out the door.
Gregory had to jump out of the way to avoid being trampled over. When they were gone, the stallion found himself feeling exhausted. Dealing with all these helpful ponies was becoming a drain on his reserves, even more so than the magic lessons. He couldn’t begrudge them, as it was clear they had the best of intentions, but then he reminded himself that such things were the bricks on the road to hell.
“Hello, dear boy.”
Speaking of which…
“Hey Blue,” Gregory grinned at the approaching stallion. “How’s it going?”
“Th-”
“That’s what I was about to ask you,” Maud interrupted as she walked alongside the prince. She exchanged looks with the white stallion before hurrying forward and wrapping a leg around Gregory. “Feeling alright, sweetie?”
“Much better,” Gregory sighed as he hugged the mare back, pulling her close and reveling in the feel of her fur. “You two are a sight for sore eyes.”
“Have you made any progress with those Crusaders?” Blueblood asked. “I realize their age might seem a bit off putting, but they really are the best at what they do.”
“Actually,” Gregory chuckled, “they think I should probably be a story teller.”
Blueblood chortled. “Well now I feel dumb for not suggesting that myself.”
“Agreed. That was pretty dumb,” Maud added, earning a look of ire from the prince.
They’d already come from a heated argument of whispers while Gregory had his lessons. Maud made it clear that, since Gregory was both bent and her coltfriend, his flanks were off limits to Blueblood or any other stallion. Not to mention that her being an heiress meant that she’d have the least trouble of being accepted by the nobility as his lead mare. Blueblood reminded her that her coltfriend was still legally a minor and the prince’s ward, making him responsible for the stallion’s care and education in the myriad of social interactions. He also added that even bent ponies preferred the occasional tryst with the non-preferred sex, so long as there was a deep kinship involved. Ultimately they agreed to a truce in favor of letting the object of affection come to his own decisions.
“So,” Gregory began cautiously as he studied the look the gray mare and white stallion gave one another. “They, um, want to set up a story telling show with some of my closest friends. Any thoughts on who I should invite?” He asked invitingly.
“I’m just going to assume that you’re being playful and that your gorgeous fillyfriend is already at the top of the list,” Maud deadpanned, tightening her grip.
“You know what they say about assumptions, dear lady,” Blueblood said, giving the mare a leer. “Where as I, as a gentlecolt,” he bowed, “would be honored to accept such an invite.”
“Is there something going on you two’d like to share with me?” Gregory asked.
The prince and earth mare each had dirty fantasies of all the things they wished to share with the stallion, but instead assured him that nothing was going on and that he should start thinking of a good story for the show.
After Gregory had insisted on being alone, Maud returned home to find the delivery she’d been hoping for in her mail box. It was a package wrapped in brown paper, roughly the size and shape of a dictionary, and a letter signed from none other than the Princess of Friendship. She hurried inside and prepared a reading space.
Dear Maud Pie
I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to hear that you’ve been courting Gregory. Pinkie’s been practically talking my ear off with how cute you two look together and I can’t imagine her being wrong about this. However, knowing you, I imagine you’d like to get right down to business, so here it is.
Maud nodded as she read Twilight’s response, grateful for the alicorn cutting to the chase and giving her the good stuff.
In your letter you expressed concern about Gregory being a human pony and what issues might arise as a result. Once more I must say how thrilled I am, this time that you chose me to enlighten you on the ways of the most elusive of pony tribes. [Spike: That’s actually the abbreviated version. She actually went on and on about her credentials as Equestria’s leading expert in humans for, like, almost half an hour. And like half of it was just rambling on why Lyra’s credentials don’t count somehow and how she could’ve learned so much more if Gregory had just let her science him, or something like that. You can thank me later for skipping to the good parts.] There’s a lot of ground to cover, so we will begin by dividing our lesson into three key categories: history, biology, and behavior.
Maud snorted a laugh, imagining Spike with a cocky grin as he wrote that.
Biology
Humans are tall, bipedal, mammalian creatures who hail from another world, which they call Earth.
Maud skimmed through the first page detailing human physiology. It looked to be nothing more than what she could find in old tomes on the subject. She’d read it later, but right now it wasn’t what she needed.
No doubt you’ve already noticed the anatomical differences between Gregory and the average pony. Namely his relatively small eyes, ears that protrude more from the sides, and his sharp teeth. Each of the three tribes also come with their own distinct characteristics, the curved horn in Gregory’s case. Regarding the first two, you’ve no doubt noticed how these traits are remarkably similar to many of Equestria’s nobility. This is no coincidence as many great noble houses owe their founding to the human ponies of the past, which I will elaborate on in the history section.
Maud was sorely tempted to skip ahead to learn of her Gregory’s history, but trusted in Twilight’s organization skills and read on.
The third physical aspect, and generally considered the most frightening, are the sharp incisors and canines. Human ponies are omnivores, not carnivores, as they do have flat grinding teeth in the back. While some ponies, especially pegasi, will often enjoy consuming fish from time to time, human ponies are more akin to bat ponies in their regular need for animal proteins in order to maintain a healthy diet.
I’m guessing you’re already aware of this. But just in case, I must let you know that this is not something that can be ignored. Gregory will need to consume meat in order to live. Thankfully Canterlot has a sufficient population of bat ponies to allow easy access to consumable meat, but this may prove troublesome if you should decide to move elsewhere. I must also warn you that, despite the queens regularly consuming meat, the practice is still regarded with loathing by many ponies holding onto old prejudices. I doubt any would be so bold as to try anything, but it may still be something you will need to protect your stallion from.
Maud nodded. She’d heard the whispers uttered behind Gregory’s back whenever he’d eat meat. Each time she’d shot the troublesome gossipers a look of warning, and while it usually worked, it still hurt to hear such things about the stallion she cared for. Even so, she was a mare, and a Pie at that. It was her job to protect her stallion.
History
Since before the exodus from our homeland to Equestria, ponies have sought the great power held within humans. Though they have no magic, making them vulnerable to the magic-heavy atmosphere of our world, our ancestors sought to infuse them with magic to save their lives, resulting in the ponification potion. Knowledge over how this process began has been lost, but we can infer through surviving historical texts that human impact on pony society was significant.
It is said that humans brought with them knowledge of road building, architecture, advanced agriculture, and countless other innovations. Much of this has been contested by modern historians, especially earth ponies who insist their tribe has always held the magic to coax seeds from the ground. While none of this can be confirmed, we do know that the offspring of humans have carried with them a portion of what has been dubbed the human spirit, which is said to have birthed many greats in pony history. Many of the scholars, artists, builders, and even commanders we read about in history books can trace their origins back to human ponies to some degree. As an illustration, it is widely believed that Starswirl the Bearded was the grandfoal of a human mare.
After centuries of resistance and adherence to ancient traditions, the potential of humans was eventually accepted and even sought after by ponies. Though any tribe was capable of producing the ponification potion, its effect of turning a human into which ever tribe best suited them resulted in many battles over ownership of the newly formed human pony. Once ownership was established, human ponies were generally granted positions of power or married to other high ranking ponies.
As a result, if I might go back to biology, many of the physical features associated with human ponies have been integrated into pony society as an indicator of good breeding. Features like the smaller eyes are considered by many to be highly attractive, especially among the nobility, as they are believed to suggest a pony may hold the potential for the greatness of legend. However, this is grossly exaggerated.
While it is true that there is a connection between the blood of humans and the probable success of a pony, there are so few humans the blood lines have been almost entirely diluted to make the effects virtually negligible. Some have speculated that it is for this very reason that the aristocracy is organized as it is, to protect the human bloodlines which once gave their houses such power. It is for this very reason that makes Gregory such a desirable stud. I trust you won’t mind simply allowing the nobility access to his services as a breeder.
Maud found that last line peculiar. Of course she wouldn’t mind. Courting a desirable stud was a virtually universal fantasy among fillies. It was like saying to the world “this amazing stallion belongs to me, but I’ll be generous and let you borrow him for a little bit.” Sure it was a little petty, but everypony had such fantasies from time to time. Why would it be an issue here?
Behavior
Jumping off my last point, let’s delve a little into the key differences between human ponies and the other tribes. In the human world, the male to female ratio is 1:1, as opposed to Equestria where it’s roughly 1:4. As such, humans are generally a monogamous species. In most cases this notion is strictly enforced by their native religions. This is accompanied by a world view that discourages sexual relations outside of marriage. Exceptions vary based on era and region, but this is still a good standard.
Maud nodded, starting to understand.
As a male, Gregory will still have a biological urge to spread his seed to ensure genetic survival. But he also carries human views which, as I have confirmed through discussions with him, instill a belief of total commitment to a single lover. Further, as will be more relevant to your immediate relationship, you may have noticed that Gregory’s behavior deviates outside of what is considered the norm for stallions. For example, he might insist on holding the door open for you instead of you holding the door for him. This is due to the human’s reversed notion on sex roles. In human society it is the males who are considered the more proactive members of society while the females are more passive. There is, of course, considerable variance, but again this does seem to be the standard most humans tend to follow.
Maud nodded along. She’d indeed noticed such behavior and had wondered if something like this might have been the case. It had led to more than a few misunderstandings when he failed to show the proper signals she’d learned to expect from a stallion returning a mare’s interest. Initially she feared this meant he wasn’t interested in her at all, only for him to start coming onto her as though they were both mares. It was very confusing and part of the motivation behind this very letter.
While true of any relationship, open communication will be all the more critical in order to overcome such hurdles. Further, while I imagine you were hoping for a cheat sheet on how human pony behavior differs from normal ponies, I’m afraid that would be rather difficult. Enclosed is a copy of the transcript of our conversations, along with my own notes on the matter as well as comparisons to how such behaviors differ from humans of the past.
Maud glanced down at the dictionary sized packet of papers that had accompanied the letter and felt a foreboding sense of dread.
And while it pains me to say this, [Spike: it really does.], I’m afraid a pony’s behavior simply cannot be summed up in a report. For example, he claims that sex roles are generally much less strictly enforced in his part of the world and that efforts are being made for a more egalitarian relationship between the sexes. Theoretically, this would make his culture more comparable to our own and may tempt you to treat him more like a mare than a stallion. However, this is juxtaposed with political and social movements in his world declaring that a male looking at a woman in a manner she does not approve of is a form of assault.
Maud felt her heart lurch as she imagined the implications of such ideals.
Yet he insists that he dismisses such behavior as absurd and dangerous.
Maud exhaled in relief.
What I’m trying to say is that the best thing you can do is just talk with him. Get to know each other as individuals and do your best to not let old prejudices cloud your views. Just go with the flow and deal with things as they are, not how you think they should be. I’ve left bookmarks in my notes to parts I felt would be especially relevant, but otherwise I advise you use them as a loose reference rather than strict rules.
Maud nodded as she read the last of Twilight’s letter wrap up, including the part where she requested that Maud deliver an apology from Twilight to Gregory, before setting the paper down. It had proven an enlightening read and Maud peered down at the red book marks protruding from the stack of papers. The task before her suddenly became much less daunting as she realized that, as an alien to their world, Gregory was no doubt going through even more trials just to acclimate. The least she owed him was to make the attempt to see things from his point of view.
After insisting on being alone, Gregory decided to roam around the castle and just explore. Such walks helped to clear his head, he told his friends, and they left him be. Presently he found himself in the gardens, specifically in the hedge maze as he made his tenth left turn. It proved a pleasant distraction, but also afforded him the time to think and consider his situation, the show, his cutie mark, and his life.
“Not an adult till I got my mark,” he said to himself, glancing over his shoulder at his pants covered flank. It was a big deal in this society and he’d decided it made sense in its own right, in so far as it was within the context of magical candy colored talking horses who got offended when you called them horses and not ponies.
Then he recalled how freaked out the cotton candy, er, Pinkie was at finding his flank blank. “Guess she’s already decided me and her sister would make for a perfect couple.”
As he reflected on the matter, he couldn’t find any real fault with the conclusion. Maud was pretty, had a dry sense of humor to match his own, she was a geological prodigy of sorts, a great listener, smelled nice, he just liked being around her, and there was the latest bonus of the budding sexual attraction. The more he thought, the less reason he found that they shouldn’t be together. Not right away, mind you, as he’d prefer they get to know each other a bit longer before making any major decisions. However, there were still matters weighing heavily on his mind.
“Oof!” Gregory grunted as he collided with something, falling back on his haunches. He righted himself and looked up, expecting a wall but instead finding a white alicorn. “Celestia!”
“I hope so,” the queen tittered and offered her hoof. “I’d hate to suffer the inconvenience of another changeling invasion.”
“Right,” Gregory said through a half smile, appreciative of the queen’s good humor as he took her hoof and stood.
“Speaking of invasions, I heard you had quite the encounter with the Element of Laughter the other day,” she grinned playfully.
“Luna tell you?”
“Yes, but not before Pinkie did,” Celestia corrected. “Seems she ran straight to me with urgent news, upon which she went into excessive detail about all that had happened.”
“How excessive?” Gregory asked uneasily.
“Lulu corroborated her story,” Celestia said evenly. “It seems you are doing Equestria a disservice by hoarding your flanks where none can see.”
“Not a problem you’ve ever had, I imagine.” He smirked.
Celestia gave a neighing chortle. “Certainly not, though it continues to be a burden to find a tailor with the nerve to not faint at the prospect of tending the most glorious plot in the land.” She turned to the side and gave her rump a gentle wiggle, to which she and her friend found terribly amusing. The queen, like the other royals, was happy to have found someone not of their inner circle with whom she could be more open. If nothing else, it was an immense relief to just cut loose and be yourself with a good friend.
“And what, might I ask, is the glorious sun doing out here?” Gregory waved a hoof indicating the maze. “Shouldn’t you be holding court right now?”
“I have this hour free,” she said serenely as she gazed about. “So I thought I’d come out here for a walk. It helps put things in perspective, I think.”
“Well, you are a queen.” Gregory grinned as he followed her line of sight and spotted a nest of baby birds at the top of the hedge. “I imagine your opinion counts for something.”
“True enough, such as it is. Countless ponies make the long journey across the empire just to hear a bit of this old alicorn’s wisdom. I do what I can, and it usually works. But, with as much power and authority as I have, I often find that my failures are even more spectacular than my triumphs.”
“And yet you bear it,” Gregory said, earning the queen’s gaze. “I’ve read a few opinion articles in the paper.”
“I read all of them,” Celestia said evenly. “Sometimes they actually bring up valid criticisms.”
“And most of the time it’s just click bait, inflammatory headlines meant to sell papers at the expense of truth or common sense,” Gregory said with a flat smile. “Unless you really do pick your teeth with the bones of the poor when I’m not looking?”
“If I did, I’d be foolish to admit it out loud,” Celestia beamed.
“But you still endure it because you need to.” Gregory smiled more warmly. “You get things done in a way leaders back home would probably have a heart attack over.”
Celestia raised an eyebrow in inttriuge. “Truly?”
“No. That’s just me being optimistic,” Gregory admitted. “They’d probably let it all go to their heads and turn corrupt faster than it takes Blue to pretty himself up.”
“Well that’s not very nice.” Celestia frowned. “Blueblood doesn’t take that long.” They shared in another laugh. “By the most sacred plot, this is proving a most relaxing jaunt. Thank you, Sir Gregory.”
“Sir?”
“Well, maybe not yet, but eventually.” Celestia turned and motioned for him to follow as they continued through the maze. “As a crown sanctioned stud, you will be elevated to the rank of minor nobility, with all the privileges and responsibilities that come with the title. However,” her smile softened, “I sense that such prospects do not agree with you.”
“Yup,” he sighed.
“Which parts?”
“All of it,” Gregory admitted with a shrug. “My responsibilities basically mean I’ve got to whore myself out to anyone who asks. The titles mean people are going to treat me all fancy, again, just because I’m whoring myself out. Although the privileges are something I’m not entirely clear on,” he added optimistically.
Celestia grinned. “It will not be to just any who ask,” she assured. “You still have the innate right of choice, but it will be expected of you to uphold your civic duty.”
“Civic duty?” Gregory asked. “First time I heard it called that.”
“A crown sanctioned task carried out for the good of the citizenry,” Celestia lectured. “What would you call it?”
“I think the word is whorse?” He asked, and Celestia tittered. “Also, exactly how common is this particular duty?”
“It was more common back in the days of old. The tribes were greatly weakened after the migration to Equestria and the suffering they endured under he who must not be named.”
Gregory chuckled under his breath. He’d told Celestia what the phrase meant in his world, but she still insisted on using it in place of the name which rarely failed to invite its owner.
“My sister and I selected among the ponies mares and stallions of exceptional breeding stock and tasked them to replenish the populace. The role of stud or brood mare continues to be administered from time to time, either as reward for exceptional service or simply when we encounter a pony of such exceptionally gifted stock that we feel it a shame to let such bloodlines diminish. This, naturally, has extended to human ponies from the start.”
“Why? I mean, why human ponies exactly? I kind of get that we bring ideas, but why does that make us good breeders? And how did all this stuff start to begin with?”
Celestia hummed thoughtfully. “Such has been the subject of considerable debate among scholars for generations. The most popular conclusion is that all races have their strengths. For ponies, it is our magic and inclination towards harmony. For humans, it is your aggression and innovation. However, when these particular strengths are combined, they form something truly amazing.”
“Amazing how?”
“Hybrids are fairly common, especially along border regions. A pony and a griffon might make a hypogryph, but this being will likely be no more exceptional than their parents. But there is something about human innovation which tempers the spirits of other races. If allowed, ponies would exist in harmony forever, stagnant and unchanging. But when introduced to the human spirit, it is as though human strengths are magnified tenfold within their offspring, be they pony or any other race.” Celestia smiled wryly at her human friend. “You might think yourself to be little more than ordinary by your people’s standards, but it is a virtual promise that your offspring will be anything but. The foals of ponies and human ponies are most comparable to dragons in the passion with which they attack and triumph over life. That, my dear Gregory, is why humans make for desirable breeding stock.”
Gregory’s ears folded back as he turned to look forward. That was a hell of a weight that had been placed on his shoulders, especially being compared to a dragon like that. “Why is any of this even happening, and to me of all people?”
“Fate is a thing ponies have been studying since the beginning, learning little other than to accept it’s whims. Starswirl built many stable portals to other worlds. In his explorations and studies he concluded that there must be some naturally occurring portal between yours and mine. However, this door is fickle, rarely there and only swinging one way, as no human has ever told conclusive stories of Gaians finding their way to earth, save for myth.”
“Probably for the best,” Gregory sighed dispassionately. “Pretty sure ponies wouldn’t have had nearly as warm a welcome as I got.”
Sensing his continued discomfort, Celestia lowered her head and gave his cheek a soft nuzzle. “Others may say that you should feel honored to bear such a task for both its meaningful contribution and associated privileges, but I will not.” He brightened a bit, grateful for her sympathy. “Instead, I would like to talk about Maud.”
“Maud?” Gregory perked up.
“I may not be my niece,” Celestia giggled, “but I can still spot a pony in love several miles out.” She batted his tail with hers. “Am I wrong, Mr. Grimory?”
Gregory hesitated a moment, but only because the question surprised him. “Nope. Alicorn queen opinion strikes again.”
“And you worry how this task will affect your relationship with her, yes?”
Gregory nodded.
“I understand how your cultural notions of monogamy would make this difficult, but, if I may be so bold, I cannot fathom a reason why your fillyfriend would hold any misgivings.”
“Really?” Gregory raised an eyebrow. “She wouldn’t have any issue with her guy sleeping around with a bunch of strange girls?”
“Have you talked to her about this,” Celestia smirked, “or did you simply jump to the worst case scenario and sink into self-pity? Because I feel safe in saying she will not be pleased to learn of the latter.”
Gregory cleared his throat guiltily.
“Healthy communication is a necessary part of any relationship, especially if one means to become an adult.” Celestia let her gaze linger on his flank before meeting his eyes once more. “The Crusaders have already come to me with their intentions for a show. I accepted, of course, and now we only wait for a date as you make your final preparations.”
“Because that doesn’t build up the pressure,” Gregory said with a roll of his eyes.
“A little pressure now and then is good,” Celestia said. “It keeps us focused, and it can be most pleasurable when applied properly.” Her eyebrows bounced suggestively. “I know your mare will attest to that.”
“Probably gonna regret this, but I’ll ask anyway,” Gregory muttered. “How, exactly, do you know that?”
“She’s a mare,” Celestia tittered. “I’ll leave her to explain the rest, as you two really do have much to discuss. I’d also recommend doing so quickly, as it will leave your mind clear and free to focus on more immediate concerns.” She once more glanced back at his flank.
Gregory glanced as well and met Celestia’s gaze with a warm smile. “Thanks. I think I needed to hear that.”
“Any time,” Celestia cheered as they finally emerged from the maze.
***
It wasn’t until the next day that Gregory had worked up the nerve to finally talk to Maud, ignorant of the notes she’d been reviewing all night long.
“Of course I wouldn’t mind,” Maud said evenly as she sat atop his bed while he lay beside her. “It’s actually rather sexy to know I’ve got such a desirable stallion.”
“Is it really that simple?” Gregory asked. “I mean, you don’t think you’d get, ya know, jealous?”
“Of course not,” Maud said, remembering what Twilight had written. “My father studded for several mares in his youth, and many are still family friends. It’s perfectly normal.”
“It’s normal for guys to just sleep around with any mare that comes their way?”
“Well first they have to pay the stud fee,” Maud corrected patiently. “But before that they have to meet the approval of your lead mare, which is me.” She gestured to herself.
Gregory chuckled. He felt he should say something against the way Maud talked as though they were already married, but found her gestures just too cute and endearing for him to care. “So… what? Are you, like, my assistant?”
“More like landlord,” Maud said as she leaned against the stallion’s side. “It’ll be my responsibility to run background checks to ensure your precious seed is given out only to those I deem worthy.”
“Landlord?” While Gregory found Maud’s weight to be a pleasant sensation, he still frowned. “That makes it sound like I’m just a piece of property.”
“Your seed is property,” Maud said flatly. “It’s a valuable commodity meant to be sold. It’s yours, but as lead mare, I’ll get a say in that property’s use and distribution.” She glanced up at her stallion’s dower expression. “Am I upsetting you?”
“No. I mean… I don’t know,” Gregory admitted as he rested his chin atop Maud’s head. It still amazed him how much her contact affected him. “If you’re not bothered, then I guess I shouldn’t be either.”
“I don’t accept that,” Maud said bluntly. “If my stallion isn’t happy, then I can’t be happy either. And if I’m not happy, my sister might shoot us both out of her party cannon until we figure things out.” She snorted. “If it’s all the same with you, I’d rather we just skip to the last part.”
“Agreed,” Gregory answered with a yawn. Maud was proving dangerously comfortable.
“Before we go any further, there’s something I need to know,” Maud said sternly. “Humans don’t have sex before marriage, correct?”
“Yeah,” Gregory confirmed skeptically. “I mean, it happens, but you’re supposed to wait.”
Maud swallowed. “Does that mean… you’re a virgin?”
Gregory averted his gaze, giving Maud her answer. This had been one of the main reasons why he’d feared taking his relationship to the next level. He had no experience in a world where sex was something ponies freely engaged in in their early teens. She’s gonna laugh, he thought in dread.
“It’s alright.” She nuzzled under his chin.
“Is it?” he asked hesitantly. “I mean, I’ve never…”
“You held onto the values of your culture, treating sex as a precious thing not to be squandered,” Maud whispered soothingly. “I think I finally get why studding bothers you so. Sex isn’t just a friendly gesture, but something almost sacred, to be shared only with those you truly love. It’s actually rather romantic, when you think about it.”
Gregory chuckled to himself. “That’s a nice way of putting it. But the truth is I just never had the guts to ask a girl.”
“You never found a girl worth asking,” Maud corrected.
Gregory inhaled through his nose, detecting a very unusual odor. It stunk, but not in a bad way as he looked at Maud and gently smiled. “Ya know, I think I love the way you look at the world.”
“You do?”
Gregory had only just realized what he’d said. He felt as though he should panic, but instead only felt a wave of serenity at the confession. “I do,” he sighed. “I also love the mare who looks at the world like you do, and who likes me for me.”
“And I love the stallion who makes me feel like I can just be myself whenever he’s around.”
“I’ve been accused of worse,” Gregory chuckled.
“Hush, you.” Maud chided. “I’m trying to have a moment. One wrong word and I’ll hold you in contempt.”
“Will you, now?” Gregory asked as he nuzzled her ear, earning a soft moan from the mare. “How will you hold me?”
“Tightly,” Maud grunted as she pressed herself harder against him. “I’ll never let you go.”
“The jury finds these terms acceptable,” Gregory chuckled as they lay contentedly against one another.
“If it makes you feel better,” Maud began. “I’ve never really been with a stallion either.”
Gregory pulled back and gave her a curious look as this confession didn’t seem to match with what she’d been telling him.
Maud nodded in confirmation. “I’ve been on dates with stallions, sure, but things always fell apart for one reason or another,” she said despondently. “Sometimes they’d stick around for the more intense kissing and cuddling, but they usually left before we got to any actual sex stuff.” The earth mare was broken from her revelry at all her past disappointments as she found her forelegs pinned to her sides as Gregory enveloped her in a hug.
“Bunch of jackasses,” he said under his breath. “They didn’t know what a great thing they had in you.”
“I know,” Maud said proudly. “I never really liked them anyway.”
“Really?” Gregory pulled back to look his mare in the eye. “Then…?”
“That’s just how it goes,” Maud deadpanned. “You date around when you’re young. Sometimes you’d find a special somepony, but mostly it was just experimenting.
“Huh,” Gregory said flatly at seeing this new side of Maud and pony views. “Sounds like American high schools, only without all the teen pregnancies.”
“Human mares go into heat once a month, right? Fun is one thing, but how could they be so irresponsible and get themselves pregnant before their ready for a proper relationship?”
“You don’t wanna know,” Gregory said with a disappointed smile as he shook his head. “You really don’t.”
Maud reached up and turned his face towards hers, closed her eyes, and began leaning forward. Gregory followed suit until the distance closed. The touch of their lips was light and brief, but it still sent jolts of electricity through the both of them.
“In that case, I say we put off all this stud stuff for now. Let’s figure us out first and then just take things one step at a time. Sound good?”
“Sounds good.” Maud cozied up to her stallion’s side. “Besides, I was planning to keep most of your thick, syrupy stallion seed for myself, anyway.”
***
It was another two weeks before Gregory decided he was ready for the show. The Crusaders had managed to secure reservations in the royal auditorium. They’d agreed to hold the show just after sunset where both queens had a break between duties.
Gregory peaked out from behind the makeshift curtain to behold his audience. Using the full auditorium would have been overkill, so a small sitting area was set up on the stage across from a performing area cobbled together by the Crusaders. Queens Luna and Celestia sat in the back row, each munching from a tub of popcorn. In front of them sat Kibitz, the royal aid, and a few other ponies who were regularly seen in the royals’ company. Prince Blueblood, who was wearing trousers for some odd reason, kept fidgeting in obvious discomfort. Maud sat still as a rock, but Gregory still managed to spot the slightest twitch in her tail betraying her anxiousness. In contrast, the pink pony, which Gregory had decided was actually made of bubblegum, could not sit still as she bounced around the booth. The Crusaders occupied the front.
Satisfied that all were present, Gregory looked back at the ponies who would be helping him. Somehow the Crusaders had wrangled several of the castle staff eager to live their dreams as actors. No doubt mentioning that this show would be performed for the royal family had had some influence. The script was easy enough to write as it was something he’d committed to memory since before he was ten. The would-be-actors adapted quickly to their respective rolls and the props and costume ponies did a stellar job producing all they needed. He’d been open to constructive criticism and made many changes where advised, but overall the story was left largely intact.
Finally the hour had come and the signal was given. All last minute adjustments were wrapped up as the curtain rose and the volunteer musicians began with the strings. The scene was a living area with a hill of grass above. The narrator, a soft spoken stallion began: “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”
Gregory watched from his spot just off stage, his eyes darting between the audience and performers as his mind racked over every little detail. Gandalf’s stilts made him look too tall and he looked far too much like Starswirl. The dwarves’ beards had been cut just enough to keep their wearers from tripping. Their singing was well practiced, but Gregory felt they really should have had one more go. Large and elaborate puppets were used for the trolls, spiders, and dragon. The role of the goblins was given to diamond dogs, who were very pleased to have not been relegated to the role of extra and stage hand. Any mention of horses and ponies were omitted entirely from the performance as it raised too many uncomfortable questions. And so on and so forth.
The audience, much to Gregory’s elation, did not seem to be confused by the introduction of all these mythical creatures. They’d caught on quickly enough what was what, where, and why, and seemed on the edge of their seats in numerous parts. Gregory caught himself silently mouthing the lines during the game of riddles, which marked the first intermission. Although he wanted to go out and seek his friends’ opinions, Gregory was called back for further last minute consultations.
All ran smoothly through the second act until they came to the most dreaded part of all. The puppet for Smaug, though beautifully frightening, had proven infamously difficult to handle, so they’d adjusted it to hold several unicorns to keep it moving in the event of complications. The moment of reckoning was finally upon them and, to the shock of all, nothing exploded. The dragon moved with relative realism, the effects were convincing, and many of the audience, namely Blueblood, shrieked in terror when Smaug became angry.
Even so, Gregory found himself unable to stop thinking about the budget. It had proven quite upsetting for him when he learned that the show was all being paid for at the Queens’ personal expense, especially with the added knowledge that this had proven a lot more expensive than he’d have liked. He’d tried to stop it in favor of something smaller and more manageable, but he’d been reassured that the volunteers were happy to donate their time. Not to mention that everyone had already gotten into the swing of things and wanted to see it through to the end.
Finally the last curtain fell. The audience sprang to their hooves, stamping them to the ground in applause. They liked it. This revelation was followed by a breath Gregory hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. It may have been the most refreshing breath he’d ever taken. Then came the moment he’d really been dreading. The actors had herded him out with the rest of them to take their bows.
They’d practiced this, going in order of their rank in the show. The stage help, extras, the secondary characters, the villains, and then he had to go out with the main characters, all still in full makeup. Gregory’s eyes darted between the stallion playing Bilbo and his own hooves, never daring to actually look at the audience. He bowed, along with the others, and the roar of the small audience boomed all the louder. The human pony bore an incredibly stupid looking grin as he trotted alongside the other actors. They then stood in a row and bowed as one, eliciting the loudest roar yet, threatening to blow them all away.
When it was over and the curtain fell and the crew was exchanging congratulations, Gregory felt the need to check his hearing to make sure he hadn’t been rendered deaf. This moment of piece only lasted a further few seconds before Gregory was tackled to the ground by a gray blur. Maud was hugging him tightly around the middle, nearly unleashing almost half the might of her earth pony strength. But the most devastating thing of all was the soft smile she gave as she met his eyes with her sparkling turquoise orbs.
“That was amazing,” she whispered.
“Th-thanks,” Gregory stuttered as he felt his cheeks and ears turn hot under Maud’s gaze.
“Did it work?” she asked.
It took a moment for Gregory to understand the question and he darted off behind a curtain. The others gathered around, eager for the good news. They were rewarded with a somber half smile as he emerged from behind the curtain and he was rewarded with the blunt force of their disappointment.
“It’s alright,” Maud said as she nuzzled under his chin, pressing her chest against his. Her touch was welcome. “Roam wasn’t built in a day.”
Gregory laughed softly. He knew the city she referred to was a pony one. “I know,” he sighed. In truth, he was more saddened by not meeting his friends’ expectations than his failure to get his cutie mark, which still held little value to him. Words of reassurance from the Crusaders, royals, and even the staff helped a little, but it only drilled in the point that he’d failed.
Many words of encouragement and optimism followed the conclusion of the play. The Crusaders promised that they wouldn’t stop until he’d succeeded in attaining his birthright as a pony. Pinkie babbled on about a party they’d need to throw later to lift spirits. Blueblood hugged Gregory close, adding to the chorus of hope.
Briefly stepping aside, Maud whispered something in Luna’s ear. The queen then insisted that Gregory, still adjusting to his new body, was tired and needed to rest. She also added that Maud should be the one to escort him to his room, which was met with many excited coos and suggestive winks, although Celestia had moved to Blueblood’s side to whisper in the distraught prince’s ear.
Gregory opened his mouth to give his thoughts on the matter, only to be briefly disoriented as the ground left his hooves and the ceiling became the floor. When he was no longer dizzy, he found that he’d been slung over Maud’s barrel like a trophy. He tried to move, but instead found himself tightening his grip around her middle as she began a brisk gallop out of the auditorium. They ran down the halls passing many guards and servants, the most tactful of whom merely whistled. The less tactful only confirmed what Gregory had already suspected.
When they arrived at the entrance to Gregory’s room, he gently dismounted Maud and stared awkwardly into her eyes. Her face had its usual level of neutrality, but the twitching of her tail revealed to the human stallion that she was a mare on a mission.
“What is it?” Maud asked, breaking the awkward silence. “Aren’t you going to invite me in? It’d be rude for a mare to enter without being invited.” She turned her body to the side and gave her rump a suggestive waggle.
Gregory swallowed, only mildly conscious of how the gesture had affected him. “Are you… I mean… do you…” His fumbling words were promptly silenced as Maud stepped forward and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was brief, but it sent sparks flying in his mind, granting him a newfound clarity when Maud pulled away.
“Gregory.”
“Yes, Maud?”
“Since I was little, I’ve had this special gift. When I want something, I always know exactly where it is,” she said with a deep purr. In human courting, she knew, it was the males who initiated. However, one of Twilight’s suggestions was that he might feel even more appreciated if she took the lead, as was the common way for mares and stallions. “When you combine this with my family’s wealth, you get a mare that’s used to getting what she wants.”
Gregory was sweating bullets as he listened to the desire flowing from Maud’s words. It was having a further effect on him.
“You and I have been courting for a while now. As your fillyfriend, that means it’s my responsibility to ensure that my coltfriend is happy.” She walked over to the unlocked door and pushed it open. She entered first, motioning for Gregory to follow as she hypnotically swayed her hips from side to side.
By the time Gregory realized what had happened, there was a soft click as Maud closed and locked the door behind him. She still had a face like a stone, but her breathing was growing heavier by the minute. Gregory licked his suddenly dry lips as Maud moved to the center of the room and turned her body to face him.
“I’m a mare who gets what she wants,” Maud said huskily as she began to pull her frock up over her haunches. One of the more useful tidbits Twilight had told her was how humans generally associated nudity with sexual arousal. “There’s this stallion I like whose not feeling very good at the moment.” The frock was over her midsection now, but her backside was still turned away from where it could be seen as she endeavored to be seductive. “I want him to be happy.” Maud sat her rump down and slipped the frock over her head before tossing it to the side.
There she sat, in all her naked glory. Gregory was used to seeing ponies go around naked, but this was a first. Despite the inexperience of her movements, Maud’s actions had had an effect on his body, for which he sat down in a bid to hide. The mare stared back, tilting her head curiously as she examined him. He knew what she wanted, but still couldn’t bring himself to do.
“I also want my stallion to be comfortable,” Maud continued. She stood and began a slow walk towards her target, once more swaying her hips behind her. “And I know, my Gregory, that you have different views on sex than ponies.”
Gregory blinked in surprise. The seduction had left Maud’s tone as she sat herself directly beside him and rested against his side. As Gregory cursed his own clothing for the crime of getting in the way of Maud’s soft fur, he did his best to keep his eyes forward and not steal glances of the teats resting between her legs.
“Recently I’ve been doing some research on humans and human ponies,” Maud explained.
“Oh? What kind of research?”
“I’ve been asking the queens for the more intimate details, but I got a lot of information by writing Twilight.” Instantly Maud felt Gregory tense up.
“Twilight?”
“Something wrong?” Maud asked, even though she’d heard the story from Luna. Apparently Twilight had been very… excited at the prospect of meeting a real life human pony.
“She didn’t ask for more samples, did she?”
“No. But she did ask me to pass on her apologies for her unladylike behavior. The point is,” Maud asserted, “that I have an idea on how you view sex differently than ponies.” She nuzzled under his chin. “But I’d like to hear it straight from the human’s mouth, so to speak. I want to hear how you view intercourse.”
Gregory frowned. “You… you carried me on your back to my room, and did a strip tease, all as a prelude to asking me about my views on sex?” His puzzlement was plain for all to see.
“I know I’m not great at expressing myself, so please don’t think I’m trying to force you or anything,” Maud admitted, now without the bold confidence that had accompanied her earlier seduction. “I want you to be happy, and I want you to want me to make you happy. You’re probably the first stallion outside my family that’s ever really gotten me.”
“But I already am,” Gregory said with a smile as he threw a foreleg over Maud’s shoulder and held her close. Out of habit, he summoned a magical hand to begin scratching behind her ears. “Happy that is. I’ve never really had friends that cared about me even half as much as you guys do. You especially.” He rubbed his cheek along Maud’s forehead. “I’ve always had trouble reading people, but for some reason I can pick up on you really easily. It’s easy to miss sometimes, but I can usually tell when you’re happy, upset, excited, or whatever. You’re a great girl, Maud, and I’m happy just having someone like you to care for a guy like me.”
Maud set a hoof over Gregory’s as they held each other close for a moment of contented silence.
“Did you also pick up that I want your penis inside me, and that the cultural discussion was just to help you overcome any hang-ups holding you back?” Maud deadpanned.
“Maybe a little,” Gregory giggled at Maud’s bluntness. “I can appreciate a mare who knows what she wants.”
“Good, because I love you and I want us to become one, but only if you’re ready.”
“I love you too,” he acquiesced. “I’m still a little nervous and all, but…”
“It’s okay,” Maud assured. “I’ll be right here.”
Gregory beamed as he followed her, watching her swishing tail but was unable to catch more than a glimpse of her hidden treasure. At her encouragement, he climbed up on the bed after her.
Maud felt her heart pound away as Gregory approached, putting himself in her hooves to be educated into all he’d been missing out on. It was a trust she intended to reward.
“So… What do I need to know?”
“For one thing,” Maud closed the distance between them as she began nibbling on his lower jaw. “Did you know that if my parents found out I’d gone this long without making my stallion moan, they’d be terribly disappointed?”
Gregory shuddered as each nibble sent a jolt of pleasure through his body. “W-would that be before or after you bring up my blank flank?” he felt his heart sink in fear as Maud’s actions suddenly stopped.
“My father would scowl.” Maud extended her tongue and licked from Gregory’s collar bone all the way up to the spot she’d been nibbling. “My mother would scowl, but also wink when father stopped looking.”
“So this isn’t,” he moaned, “going to get you in trouble, right?”
“So long as no pony finds out,” Maud hissed lustfully. She began nibbling her way back down until she came to the collar of his shirt and stopped. “Besides, we got the queens’ permission. You’re my stallion, Gregory. I want to make you feel good.”
Gregory felt his hooves reach down beneath the shirt, only for Maud to stop him. He stared at her quizzically.
“Not like that,” Maud purred, inching her face closer to his as she glanced up. “That.” She pointed with her free hoof at his forehead. “Use your magic.”
Gregory complied. Forming the image of hands in his mind’s eye, he moved the extremities down below his shirt to again attempt its removal. He smiled at the entranced look in Maud’s eyes as she watched.
His concentration was momentarily broken when he got a clear view of her teats. Like Pinkie’s, they held an alluring resemblance to those of a human’s. She noticed, but instead of flinching or trying to cover herself, she leaned backwards to give him a better view. Supporting herself on her forelegs, she thrust her hips forward and shook her breasts for his entertainment.
Gregory’s shirt was thoroughly removed as he crouched low and cautiously approached the dark supple orbs, only to stop less than an inch away as he looked up.
Maud nodded her consent. While it seemed odd, her being the mare meant that she should take the lead, she figured him being a virgin, not to mention the added complexity of human values, made it only natural for him to want to explore her body on his own. Not to mention his proximity to her more sensitive parts was making her shake in excitement. “You can do as you like.”
At her announcement, Gregory gently flicked her left nipple with his tongue. She squeaked. Gregory pressed himself further against her breast flesh, savoring their firm yet soft texture against his cheeks. He began suckling her left breast like an infant while his hoof went to work tending her other breast.
Maud grunted and groaned her approval as her stallion went to work on her teats. This was nothing like her friends and parents said her first time with a stallion would be. She was supposed to do all the work, nibbling and touching him into arousal until he came out of his sheath, which she was supposed to suck until he came. It wasn’t exactly a rule, but it was something ponies agreed was typical of a first time. Instead, he was the one doing the sucking, and on a place only she and her sisters had ever touched. And to top it off, he was still wearing pants. He was doing it all wrong, and Maud was certain the first pony to correct him would find themselves with a few less teeth. If her stallion wanted to tease her teats, then by Luna she was going to let him!
Gregory had begun experimenting with his teeth, as Maud hadn’t been the only one doing research. Blueblood had lent him a book on methods of pony seduction, within which were four chapters dedicated to the numerous meanings behind well placed nips and nibbles. Sharp incisors, as it turned out, elicited even stronger reactions than the book described as he softly bit down on the erect nipple. He read Maud’s sounds and guided his actions accordingly until he found himself biting all along the tender breast flesh and moving further and further down.
The human pony stopped and recollected himself. Maud was on her back now, legs splayed out to either side as her face burned with a hot pink. She stared at him, her lip curled up in a partial snarl as if to condemn him for stopping, but it quickly passed. His eyes trailed along her body as he beheld her silvery sweaty fur glistening beneath the room’s artificial light. Her chest rose and fell and her breasts, slick with his saliva, wobbled with her heavy breaths. “Beautiful,” he whispered softly.
It was only then that Maud saw fit to cover her face in embarrassment.
And there it was. Between those tight firm flanks of the powerful earth mare sat her glistening pussy and puckered anus. Her slit winked, as if to welcome him in. Even her anus twitched. Gregory bore his teeth as he felt his erection grow painfully confined in his pants, but his attention was on more urgent matters. His face inched closer as he drank in her scent. Never tearing his eyes from the beautiful sight, Gregory called Maud’s name.
She peeked between her hooves. Of course she felt his hot breath against her privates, but seeing it just made it all the more real. This, Maud knew, was definitely not something that happened on the first time. This kind of kinky play was saved for much later in the relationship. She needed to tell him, warn him that he was about to go further than he might be ready. But then she saw his face. He was panting as heavily as her, no doubt the smell of her aroused musk was getting to him. There was desire in his eyes, but also uncertainty. In his eyes she saw the question. He wasn’t asking for permission, but for instruction.
Maud nodded in understanding. Sexual prowess and experience was considered a masculine trait for humans. It was the males who were supposed to be the more proactive in pursuing a relationship and engaging in intercourse. Still, she remembered Twilight’s advice not to get caught up in old prejudices about how things should be and just focus on how they are, but even that only went so far.
“Pants,” Maud said bluntly as she rolled around to her hooves, denying him access. He was the virgin, which meant she had the obligation to take the lead. “Off.” She had to take control, for both their sakes. At the same time, she needed to keep herself under control and not become overly aggressive.
“Yes ma’am,” Gregory nodded obediently. It only took a downward glance and his still clothed legs parted. Pants for stallions were made with pouches to hold their sizable groins, and his looked dying to come out. He moved to disrobe himself, only to have his hooves batted away by Maud.
“I’m doing it.” Maud left no room for argument as she gripped around the rim of the trousers and pulled them down. With one swift tug of the fabric, the trousers were removed and her stallion’s stallionhood sprang forth before her.
Gregory cringed as he awaited Maud’s response. Now more than ever he wished he better understood her as she stared at him. It was agony waiting to see whether or not she approved of his alien penis. Of all the things about him that had changed, for some reason his dick was one of the few things to go almost completely untouched. Granted that it was a bit bigger, for which he was immensely grateful, but he knew the shape was different from other stallions.
“Wow,” Maud whispered as she studied the alien phallus. She leaned forward, tilting her head from side to side as she took it all in. This too was something she’d been advised to look out for, one of the lesser known physical qualities of the human pony, but hearing about it had done little to brace her for its endearing peculiarity. The head was round instead of flat and there was no medial ring, but otherwise it was just like any other stallion’s. It was a bit odd, but she liked it.
“Wow?” Gregory asked in mild relief at her lack of disgust.
“Your little stallion is standing at attention like a little soldier,” Maud gave a soft snort of a laugh. “He’s even wearing a little helmet.”
Gregory felt his own lips curl into a grin. “He’s ready to do his duty?” he offered hopefully. “So you, um, like it?”
“It looks strong,” Maud said appraisingly as she reached out and stroked the underside of his penis with her hoof. He gasped, which she took as a good sign before continuing. She reached out her other hoof and batted the top of the round head, watching it bob from side to side. It was so cute and she was certain she could play with it for hours if allowed, but that thought quickly passed as unrealistic. She’d never be able to hold herself back from such a delicious looking treat and her marehood was already tingling from his earlier actions.
Gregory groaned under Maud’s touch. Her hooves were a lot softer than he’d expected. He’d have commented as much were it not for the mare suddenly licking him from base to tip. He shuddered and gasped at the sudden sensation of a warm wet tongue against his shaft.
“Mmh,” Maud moaned as she tasted the flavor of his skin along with the pre that had accumulated at the tip. “Your little soldier tastes good too. I like it.”
Gregory’s response was a pleasured groan. “M-Maud,” he said through gritted teeth.
Maud’s body tingled at the way he’d said her name. With a loud smack of her lips, she opened wide and sank her mouth down upon the shaft.
Gregory involuntarily bucked his hips upwards into Maud’s mouth, but she merely set a hoof on his inner thigh to hold him in place. He watched in awe as she sank more and more of his length into her mouth, her broad tongue teasing and massaging all around his head. Her mouth was so warm and wet, like nothing he’d ever experienced as he groaned his approval.
Maud closed her eyes as she savored every inch of the delicious meat within her maw. She hummed softly as the hot appendage pressed against the roof of her mouth. It tickled a little. Sinking further and further down, she stopped only when the tip hit the back of her throat. But this was something she had practiced for as she pressed onward, suckling on his dick like it was made of candy. Finally she felt her lips press into the base. Opening her eyes, she looked to see how turned on he was, and grinned around his length.
Gregory’s eye’s bulged as he beheld the amazing sight. Maud was smiling. She was smiling after fully taking his dick into her mouth. He felt her swallow and had to resist the urge to thrust up into her throat, only to recall the hoof still firmly holding him in place.
Maud slowly slid off his manhood, only to sink back down, once more kissing the base. She repeated the action as she moved her free hoof beneath his criminally neglected balls and began her dutiful fondling.
“M-Maud,” he tried to warn her, but the words escaped him as she continued to bob her head.
Maud felt him twitch and expand inside her mouth. She knew what that meant and continued her work fondling his tight little orbs. She took his moans of pleasure as encouragement and sucked all the harder. As he began to thrust with greater force, she removed the hoof that had held him in place and instead wrapped it beneath is waist while she pressed her face harder against his groin, drinking in the smell of his arousal. She swallowed around his cock as hard as she could, greedy for the seed she so rightfully deserved.
Gregory was only able to give a soft grunt as his last warning before he grabbed the back of Maud’s head and pulled at her mane.
Maud’s eyes shot open as she felt her stallion begin erupting inside her, shooting rope after rope of seed down her throat. She sealed her lips around the base, refusing to let anything escaped as she desperately sucked and swallowed all he gave her.
In time Gregory felt his first climax subside as his body relaxed into the sheets. His hooves fell limply to either side of Maud’s head.
Maud also relaxed, though she kept the shrinking phallus within her maw as she suckled at a more casual pace, taking the time to really savor her first stallion’s first orgasm. Lingering on that thought, Maud felt proud that her stallion had been saving himself all his life for the mare he loved, and now he’d given himself to her of all ponies. He might have failed to get his cutie mark, but she felt little guilt in considering this a good day for herself.
“That was…” Gregory struggled to say, but simply couldn’t find the right words to properly express his feelings. “I mean… wow!”
Maud slid his length from her lips and opened her mouth wide for him to see she’d swallowed it all. Speaking with her more experienced fillyfriends had told her stallions really got a kick out of it.
“God damn, you’re amazing,” Gregory grunted, feeling his cock pulse back to life.
Maud looked down, blinking several times to make sure she wasn’t imagining things. There was a lot of myth and exaggerations around what human ponies were capable of. Since getting to know Gregory, and finding him reasonably normal in spite of numerous quirks, she’d decided to dismiss most of the legends as nothing more than hearsay. This left her very confused, as it looked like her stallion’s stallionhood was standing erect and ready for another round, in spite of common sense saying that such a thing should be impossible.
“Gregory,” she deadpanned, never taking her eyes from the impossible penis.
“Yeah?” he beamed with a goofy grin as he pulled himself up.
“True or false: Humans are capable of more than one ejaculation per day without the need of herbs or other stimulants.”
“Uh?” Gregory looked down between his legs before meeting Maud’s eyes. “Wanna find out?” He asked with an eager shrug.
Maud blinked once, twice, and a third time. Her face was stone still, but her eyes seemed to sparkle in wonder. In one swift motion she stood, twirled on her hoof until she faced away, pressed her head down to the mattress, lifted her tail to the side, and exposed her nethers. She’d lowered her front down onto the bed as she stuck her butt out as far as she could. With a look that gave no room for argument, she faced Gregory and said “You’re my stallion, now mount me and make me your mare.”
“Yes ma’am!” Gregory too hopped to his hooves. All feelings of awkwardness had subsided as he felt instinct guide him forward.
“You see the way it’s winking,” Maud instructed breathlessly.
“Y-yeah,” Gregory panted as he watched her moist slit move of its own accord, flashing its deep red insides.
“Closer,” Maud advised, and he did so. “Feel how warm it is. I’m not in heat right now, so we’re safe, but it gets a lot hotter.”
Gregory’s mind had gone fuzzy. He wanted to listen, but was too enthralled by what he saw. She was winking at regular intervals, each time teasing him with what lay beyond her moistening lips.
“I’m wet,” Maud said, feeling both dirty and aroused for doing so. “My marehood is ready for your stallionhood.”
Gregory leaned forward and gently nosed her sex. She squeaked and her slit winked over his nose. He pulled back in surprise, but smiled as he went back, this time for a proper taste.
Maud pressed her face into the sheets. A stallion was licking her pussy. An honest-to-goddess stallion was licking her pussy. He was slow at first, which wasn’t surprising, but quickly picked up the pace. Maud’s ears stood high as the room was filled with the sound of his sloppy slurping licks. He likes it, Maud thought. He’s eating me out like a mare and he likes it. She, a proud Pie mare, was burying her head in embarrassment because a stallion was putting his lips to her nethers. Maud was unclear whether she should bolt from this insanity, or stay and revel in it.
Gregory’s mind was in a haze of bliss as the scent and taste overrode his senses. He’d never had anything this good before. It was unlike anything he’d ever tasted, musky yet sweet. He was starting to realize why ponies were so relaxed when it came to sex. If it was even half this good all the time, they’d have to be crazy not to indulge themselves. He pressed his snout deeper between her flank cheeks, lapping up her juices as eagerly as she’d done for him.
“T-try to get the part that p-pushes out,” Maud struggled to say, feeling more lewd and aroused by the minute. She was telling a stallion how to lick her no differently than if he were a mare. It was hot.
Continuing his gorging, Gregory tried to follow her instructions. He licked at the fleshy buldge as she winked, earning a soft yelp from the mare. Repeating the process, he lifted a hoof to Maud’s flank, earning a shudder from the mare. This was the last straw. Maud tried to cry out in warning, but it was too late. Her marehood gave one last wink over Gregory’s snout in mid lick, trapping it in place as her back arched and she sprayed her juices all over his face.
While initially surprised, Gregory smacked his lips as he tasted the marecum and smiled. He dove back, sucking her lips and drinking in her juices to his heart’s delight until she finished.
When Maud finally came down, her mind was reeling in the shame of what she’d done. She looked back, bracing herself for Gregory’s look of disgust at her terrible lack of manners. Instead she found him with a giddy grin as he licked his lips clean of her juices. When he’d finished, he opened his mouth to show he’d swallowed it all, just as she’d done. She squeaked in awe.
“Did you know your cutie mark looks like a black diamond?” He said casually, pointing at her flank as though he was completely unfazed by a mare cumming on his face. “It’s neat.”
“N-neat?” Maud stuttered. “Y-you like it?”
“Well it belongs to this really awesome mare I like,” he said as he teasingly licked his lips. “So that’s a point in its favor.”
“Thank you,” Maud said plainly as she turned away. She wasn’t about to look a gift human in the mouth, especially one willing to do something as hot as that.
“Also it tastes pretty good,” Gregory stated as he began licking up the juices around her flanks. He took Maud’s moans as encouragement as he continued applying his broad tongue over her firm rear.
Maud moaned in discomfort at the sudden loss of her stallion’s tongue. It would have been embarrassing to admit, but she really liked it when ponies played with her ass like that. This would definitely be something she’d have to explore later. Before she could say anything coherent, “Nnnnngh!” She grunted as Gregory threw his weight upon her back and rump, resting his hooves just above her flanks. His cock, she felt, had been properly sandwiched between her ass cheeks, which clenched on reflex.
This is it! her mind screamed as she relished the sensation of the weight against her back. He’s finally mounting me.
When seconds went by with nothing happening, Maud reminded herself that he was still a virgin and likely needed some encouragement. She humped her ass against his length, grinding up and down along the shaft. Gregory caught on and began humping in rhythm with her, grinding his thick cock along her crack from her pussy to past her tail hole. Maud quivered as both orifices were stimulated by the shaft lubricated by a combination of male pre and her own juices. She also felt his balls smacking against the bottom of her rump with each thrust, and grit her teeth as she imagined the present they held for her.
Gregory whined as he fellated between her cheeks. Her ass was tone and well-muscled, but was still amazingly soft. “Maud,” he grunted. “Your ass is amazing.”
“It’d be a lot more amazing if my stallion would just sheathe himself already,” she growled impatiently, only to look remorseful. “Sorry. Just…” she struggled to say, “go at your own pace.”
Gregory took the hint and pulled back. He heard the want in Maud’s voice, the desperate need, and, experienced or not, committed himself to satisfying that need. Lining his head up with her moist entrance, he experimentally sunk the tip past her lips. She whinnied. He had to do a double take to make sure he’d heard that right. Maud Pie… had just whinnied. No time to dwell on that now. He had a hot and bothered mare presenting herself beneath him and he wasn’t about to disappoint.
Maud’s lips parted as Gregory sunk himself deeper and deeper, her pussy periodically winking around his shaft and sending little pinpricks of pleasure through his body. Her tunnel was like her mouth, only much hotter, softer, and tighter. Gregory moaned as he slid forward, his hooves gently stroking across Maud’s cutie marks and earning similar sounds of pleasure. He was attuned to the sounds his mare made, mindful of her feelings and wanting her to enjoy this as much as he was.
Maud reveled in the sensation of being filled by the hot thick cock. She’d taken coolers before, but those were just lifeless tools. This was a real living thing, pulsing and twitching inside her, filling her with its girth as a prelude for its life giving essence. The feeling of her insides shifting and making way for her guest was incredible. His exotic tip probed and touched in ways no toy could match, but she was still mindful to stay in control.
Virgin or not, it was common sense that stallions had little to no stamina. There were herbs to help improve performance, but she’d forgotten to bring any. Instead she focused on her vaginal muscles, as her mother had taught her, flexing them in such a way that was said to prolong the experience.
As she worked, Maud noted how Gregory was moving slowly, easing her into it. She’d heard too many horror stories of stallions who just shoved it in and are done in under a minute. She counted herself lucky to have a stallion who loved her enough to consider her pleasure and take his time. However, while every lesson on sexual etiquette had told her to be calm and accept her stallion going at his own pace, the seemingly stoic Maud felt her impatience threatening to boil over. His consideration was nice, but she needed to be bucked NOW!
As if on cue, Maud gave a soft yelp as she felt the head of his cock press against the entrance of her womb, sending sparks of electricity through her body. A half second later she felt his thighs and balls slap against her flanks. He’d finally hilted inside her. It pulsed, making her feel like she had a second heart. They stayed like that for a while, silently enjoying the sensation of becoming one.
While Gregory’s mind was awash with bliss, the more experienced Maud was having a mini epiphany. She’d judged that his cock wouldn’t be too big, which everypony said hurt a lot. Of course she’d have taken it anyway, but she was relieved to do without the pain. However, she never imagined finding such a perfect fit, flexing her muscles slightly to confirm that everything was where it felt. As her mind rejoiced with this revelation and warmth radiated through her core, she peeked over her shoulder to see how her other half was doing.
Gregory’s eyes were closed as his lip quivered. His legs were weak and he feared the slightest movement might cause him to collapse. He was inside her! He was actually inside a woman. Even if she was a pony, she was the first woman to ever truly open herself to him, in more ways than one. Opening his eyes he met Maud’s stern expression. Her lip also quivered as her tail batted at his stomach. With another wink of her pussy around his member, Gregory nodded and began pulling himself out.
Maud whined at the loss of fullness, the dick’s absence leaving her feeling hollow. It was short lived as her stallion jerked forward, hilting himself again. He repeated the process of slow extractions followed by swift thrusts. The feel of his damp fur against hers had a primal appeal. She grunted her approval as she thrust her hips back to match his movements. “Luna, yes!”
***
Elsewhere
“Hah!” Luna declared to her sister. “We told you she was faithful to the moon.” She held out her hoof expectantly. “Now pay up.”
“Fine,” Celestia grumbled and gave her sister the bits.
Blueblood grumbled under his breath. He knew his aunts could hear whenever their names were called. It was a spell cast long ago to facilitate prayers, but they’d taken a secret delight in its other uses. Even so, taking bets on who’s name Maud would call out seemed a step too far.
***
Meanwhile
“Like that, do ya?” Gregory asked teasingly before another thrust.
Maud had to swallow a whimper of ecstasy to answer. “My cutie marks,” she panted. “R-rub them.”
Gregory nodded. Slowly he extracted himself again as he ran his hooves over the black diamond. The response was immediate as Maud’s entire body trembled. He repeated the action, applying different levels of pressure until he earned the reaction he liked the best. It was odd coordinating his efforts between thrusts and massaging her flanks, but he quickly found a rhythm they both liked and carried out his ministrations with even greater vigor.
“Harder!” Maud growled.
Gregory quickened his pace, slapping his thighs against her flanks with reckless abandon. Her pussy began winking even faster around his thrusts, each time her lips clamped down harder than before. She was close, and the tightening in his balls told him he was too. Recalling one last lesson from the book, Gregory reached down to Maud’s mane, applied whatever force that allowed hooves to grip things, and gave the hairs a swift yank.
Maud’s mouth opened in a silent scream. Gregory’s three pronged attack had successfully sent her over the edge. Her marehood ceased winking as her powerful earth pony muscles clamped down hard over his little stallion. Her vision went hazy as she splashed her love juices against his thighs.
At the same time Gregory felt his balls constrict and he released his load inside her. For him, it felt as though Maud’s insides were sucking his cock deeper inside her, milking him for all he had. His legs had given way as he collapsed on top of Maud’s back, inadvertently resting his head in her mane.
The lovers rode out their shared orgasm for several blissful seconds. Maud had managed to keep from falling over. Somehow the added weight of her stallion only encouraged her to work harder. With his soft breathing against her back, she whispered his name, but got no response other than a light snore. Smiling with a mix of pride and contentment, she grabbed one of his legs to hold him in place and carefully carried him to the head of the bed where she gently guided both their bodies under the sheets. All the while she made sure his little stallion was held firmly in place as she snuggled against his chest. She had always wanted to see what it was like to fall asleep with a stallion inside her, and Maud Pie was a mare who got what she wanted.
The alarm clock blared, announcing the early morning. Gregory reflexively reached out to turn it off, his will manifesting as the construct hand and smashing the top of the infernal device. As he stirred, he realized the pillow he usually slept beside felt a lot different than usual; bonier, heavily scented with sweat and sex, and breathing. He opened his eyes to a face full of purple Maud mane.
A goofy grin dawned his face as the events of last night came rushing back. Maud had taken his virginity, and it felt amazing. Further, a slight shifting of his hips confirmed that his morning wood was being held in the confines of her love tunnel. With a free hoof he wrapped around Maud’s chest and pulled her close. She responded by wrapping a hoof over his.
“Morning,” Maud said drearily. “Sleep well, sweetie?”
“Oh, hell yeah,” Gregory chuckled. “I just got this new pillow.” He tightened his grip around her. “Works great.”
“You don’t say,” Maud said intrigued. “I also got a new sleep aid,” she said as she squeezed her thighs together, earning a soft grunt from her aid. “I might need to break it in a little, but I think it’ll work out just fine.”
“Well don’t go drowning me with praise or anything,” Gregory said sarcastically. “Wouldn’t want me to get a big head or anything.”
“You think I was talking about you?” Maud asked evenly, still facing forward. “That’s cute, but no. I was talking about this.” She squeezed her thighs tighter than before, earning another surprised grunt. “It needs a little work, but you’re right we shouldn’t get it any bigger. It fits fine as is,” she finished with a long sigh.
“Happy to be of service,” Gregory capitulated, not yet having the mental clarity for a proper verbal sparring. Instead he snuggled and made himself comfortable against Maud’s back. There was a slight urge to start humping and resume where they left off, but he contented himself instead to just enjoy the feeling of her sticky body against his. “You could probably use a shower.”
“You definitely could,” Maud curtly shot back. “I don’t want you sending any strange mares’ tails flagging when you walk down the hall.”
“I thought you said you were okay with me being a stud?” Gregory asked with a grin.
“That’s different,” was Maud’s simple reply. “You’re my stallion now, and other mares need to know that, but there’s no need to brag too loudly.”
“Brag?”
“The smell. It’s like a sign in blaring neon lights. Very undignified. You need to shower most of it off, leaving just enough of a subtle scent so other mares get the message.”
Gregory giggled, finding Maud’s explanation of these bizarre rules rather endearing. “Quick question. If, in whatever way this works, I belong to you now, does that mean you belong to me too?”
Maud peeked over her shoulder. “You mean it wasn’t obvious? Of course it does. I’m your lead mare,” she emphasized.
“So… does that make me your lead stallion?” he asked optimistically.
“Only if you’re open to more stallions in the herd.”
“Regular stallion is fine,” Gregory said flatly.
“Denied,” Maud cooed as she briefly rotated her hips against his groin. “You are forbidden from referring to yourself as ‘regular’. I’ll not stand for such blatant false advertising.”
“Proposal withdrawn,” Gregory joked.
“Good. Now onto other business,” Maud deadpanned. “I think it’s time I told you something.”
“Uh-oh.”
“It’s not a bad thing, but it is important.”
Gregory grimaced. Decades of media consumption had taught him to fear those words, but he reminded himself that this was Equestria. The rules were different here. And while his inner skeptic warned him to stay wary, he still felt himself believing in Maud as a mare who would never hurt him. “Alright. I trust you.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” Maud sighed with clear relief. “The thing I need to tell you is that I didn’t come to Canterlot just to apply to the university. That was a secondary motive.” She paused, readying herself for his reaction to the real confession. “The real reason I came here was because of the Choosing Stone. It’s an artifact used by many clans of earth pony to help find our destined herds.”
“A stone?”
“Yes.”
Gregory’s brow furrowed in incredulity. “You let a rock choose who you marry?”
“It’s never steered my clan wrong before,” Maud said matter-of-factly. “It’s worked for my parents, grandparents, great grandparents, and now it’s worked for me too.” She twisted her head around and gave Gregory’s snout a soft nip. His nose scrunched to her amusement. “Boop,” she deadpanned.
Gregory’s retaliation was swift and without mercy. “Boop back.” He grinned as her nose scrunched too. Games like these never failed to calm his nerves and he began thinking of his predicament from a different perspective. “So this Choosing Stone… how exactly does it work?”
“Depends,” Maud sighed, glad that he was staying calm so far. “Every year the members of our clan, along with any other lonely volunteers, make the pilgrimage to the Stone so it can learn our faces. Most of the time you just see the faces of your future herd reflected back at you. If there’s no response, that means you’re just not ready to be herded yet. However, sometimes the destined herd is made up of ponies the Stone has never seen, so it has to get creative with its hints. Sometimes there are guiding lights, others involve vague descriptions. In my case, I was given a vision of Canterlot.”
Gregory had propped himself up on his elbow to better see Maud’s face. He nodded along as she spoke, quietly consoling himself that asking a rock for romantic advice was normal in this world.
“The vision wasn’t clear, like a memory from a dream. In it I saw four other ponies beside me, but they were all fuzzy.”
“As ponies tend to be.”
“Hush up,” Maud chided lightly, but was eased by his good humor. “There were four ponies in the vision, but I could tell only one was a stallion.” She tightened her grip around his hoof. “I can still see it in my mind’s eye,” she whispered. “The others are still unclear, but I recognized you the moment we met.”
“Really?” Gregory pulled back in surprise. “How?”
“I had a feeling,” was Maud’s answer. “So I followed it until it led me here.” She rubbed his foreleg with her hoof. “Seems pretty definitive, I’d say.”
Gregory chuckled softly. “So, if you knew from the star, why didn’t you say anything earlier?”
“I was nervous,” Maud confessed. “I know the Choosing Stone is just channeling the harmony of destiny, the same force behind cutie marks, but it was still a little overwhelming to meet the pony I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with, you know.”
“I have an idea.” Gregory nuzzled into Maud’s mane, hoping to console her. A soft whinny encouraged him to continue. “So I look like the stallion in your vision?”
“More or less, but it’s more like a feeling than a definitive picture,” she explained. “At times like this, the Choosing Stone mostly just gives us a direction, but it’s up to us to follow to find our loves.”
“So…” Gregory said cautiously. “Does that mean you’re not…”
“I’m sure.” Maud cut him off. “From the moment we met, I knew that I wanted you, and that I’d have you,” she purred throatily. “I love you, Gregory, and I promise nothing will change that.” Her tone left no room for doubt in her conviction.
Gregory beamed down at the mare, his mare, and kissed behind her ear. He felt silly for questioning how Maud felt about him, but there were still questions to be asked. “So that leaves three other mares, right?”
Maud nodded. “That’s right. Three more mares destined to love you us.”
Gregory hummed in consideration. “And you’d be fine with sharing me like that?” He felt he already knew the answer, but still needed to be sure.
Maud snorted a laugh and chose her next words carefully. “As much as you’d be fine with sharing me with our other wives.” The hardening of her Gregory’s little stallion gave her a rough idea of what was going through his head.
Gregory laughed, shaking his head to banish the thoughts of watching Maud make out with other ladies. “This is still pretty weird for me, but I don’t suppose there’s any harm in just looking around and seeing what happens.”
“Likewise,” Maud agreed. She was happy he was opening up to the idea, but decided not to frighten him with the other part of her vision. He might get overwhelmed if he knew how many foals he’d sire, and the ones she saw didn’t include those from his studding. She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts that she didn’t even hear Gregory’s question. “What?”
“I asked if there are any clues we can go by. Like, did you see their colors or tribes or any other obvious detail?”
“Two unicorns, one blue and the other a light yellow, and a white pegasus,” Maud listed off. “The yellow one had glasses. Their cutie marks were there too. I can’t quite make them out, but I’m pretty sure the unicorns both have a magic theme. I still can’t really see yours either,” she added with an odd tone. “Also their manes aren’t that clear either. Sorry for the lack of detail.”
Gregory hummed in thought. Color and race helped to narrow it down, but a white pegasus could still mean any of a thousand in this city. “Were they doing anything, or were we all just posing for a photo?”
Maud tapped her chin. “You and the yellow unicorn looked like you were reading, the blue unicorn was casting some kind of flashy spell, and the pegasus was laughing?”
“Laughing?” Gregory asked. “I mean, those first two were kind of hints, but I’m pretty sure laughter doesn’t qualify as a distinctive characteristic.”
“Don’t shoot the messenger,” Maud said flatly. “I’m only telling you what the Choosing Stone showed me. It’s not so much a scavenger hunt as an I’ll-know-it-when-I-see-it kind of thing.”
“Mh-hm,” Gregory hummed as he began lowering his hoof down her body, stopping just above her teats. “That’s nice and all, but I might end up shooting you anyway.”
Maud gave him a cold threatening stare. “You do, and you’d best be ready for the consequences.”
Mustering his courage, Gregory forced a smile, thinking they were picking up on their earlier game. “Oh? And what consequences would those be?”
“Today’s your day off, if I recall.” She watched as Gregory went over his schedule in his mind, then felt her lips curl into a grin at his horrified realization. “That means I can keep you to myself for the rest of the day, and give my sleep aid all the training it needs.”
Gregory paled. The changes to Maud’s expression were subtle, but that did nothing to ease the fear she instilled in him. Last night was great, but he was still tired. The idea of going again so soon just didn’t seem plausible. But Maud is a mare who gets what she wants, he remembered, realizing his chances of leaving this bed with the ability to walk were quickly dwindling.
“Joking,” Maud said with a soft snort meant to be a chuckle. “I’d never take advantage of you like that.”
Gregory chuckled too. “Good. I was getting worried for a second, there.”
“At least not until my heat,” Maud amended.
“Oh yeah,” Gregory said somberly, recalling some of the stories he’d heard from his coworkers. “When is that exactly?”
“It varies from mare to mare, but my last one ended just before we met, so we’ve got a while.”
Gregory tried not to sigh in relief.
*Knock Knock*
Neither bedmate had time to answer before Blueblood threw the door open and pranced inside. “Good morning, dear Gregory. How are yyyyyyyow!” he exclaimed, stumbling backwards as his eyes fell on the occupants of the bed.
There lower halves were still covered by sheets, but that didn’t stop Gregory from shrinking against the mattress in the hopes of hiding behind Maud. The mare in question waved impassively at the prince.
“Good morning, your highness,” Maud greeted curtly as she stared the stallion down with an accusing glare. While not as embarrassed as Gregory, she was not fond of this posh, pampered, pimple of a prince barging in and gawking at her. She saw his nostrils flare as he took in the scent of last night’s activities. Already it was affecting him as he began to poke from his sheath, which gave her a small swell of pride at how quickly it happened. There was another reaction, however, which Maud felt obligated to share. “I’m terribly sorry,” she deadpanned, “but you’ve rendered my stallion quite flaccid. Would you mind stepping out for a moment?”
Remembering himself, Blueblood promptly scurried out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Maud snorted her amusement.
“D-did you have to say it like that?” Gregory squeaked. “Th-that seemed kinda mean.”
“Sometimes the truth hurts,” Maud said as she sat up, letting the covers fall from her body. Taking a deep breath, she stood to all fours, letting Gregory’s cock fall from her marehood with a wet pop. She mourned the loss of the feeling of fullness, but righted herself with the reminder that there were things to be done and turned to face her stallion. “For example, if we don’t get you showered, the mares aren’t going to be the only ones raising their tails for you.”
Although he’d missed seeing Blueblood’s reaction, it only took a quick explanation before Gregory threw off the sheets and bolted for the bathroom. Maud followed in after him, insisting that it was common courtesy to clean each other off after a passionate night of love making and that this wasn’t just an excuse for them to fondle each other first thing in the morning. While not believing that her motives were as platonic as she insisted, Gregory acquiesced and together they readied themselves for the coming day.
Gregory’s fears had proven somewhat prophetic as Maud ran him through his paces, motivating him with a mixture of light nagging, words of encouragement, and promises of relief for his success. In the days following their first love making, Maud had begun pressuring the CMC to work harder than ever before to help her stallion earn his cutie mark. Watching the way she’d scold the Crusaders after each failed attempt left him very skeptical when she denied ever serving in the army.
Under Maud’s tutelage, they had forgone any further endeavors in sports save for general weight lifting. Instead they focused on anything and everything tangentially related to the play, deciding it was their best lead. After several failed attempts at directing, acting, and so much more in just the last few days, they had all agreed that a break was needed to recharge their batteries.
“I still can’t believe you said that to Sweetie,” Gregory chuckled as he sat beside Maud on a bench in the royal gardens. He had summoned his magical hands to gently caress her back and neck, earning the occasional sound of delight from his mare.
“She was making you uncomfortable,” Maud said flatly, referring to how the little filly had been asking for details on what he was like in bed.
“I appreciate the sentiment,” Gregory said, finding it hard not to smile as he reflected on the absurdity of it all. “And I guess she didn’t look all that hurt, but did you really have to say that?”
“If she’d stopped when I asked the first time, things wouldn’t have needed to escalate,” Maud justified as she rested against his side. “Besides, a filly her age really should learn to mare up at some point.”
Gregory grimaced. “I can’t say I’m too fond of that phrase. It’s kinda similar to something back on earth that’s got a few negative connotations.”
Maud peered over at him, silently waiting for him to elaborate.
“Basically, ‘man up’ is used to excuse the suffering of guys, like just because they’re guys means their pain doesn’t matter and they should be silenced if they think otherwise.”
Maud made a thoughtful sound. “I can’t speak for the context of your world, but in Equestria a mare who falls to pieces over a few harsh words is never going to get very far in life. I hope that doesn’t sound callous, but it’s just the way it is.”
While he didn’t want to argue, especially in such a nice setting, Gregory still felt obligated to speak his mind. “If I might borrow from your own history: if ‘just the way it is’ was a real excuse, the tribes would be frozen stiff by wendigoes, choosing to ignore getting along because fighting was just the way it was.”
Maud made another thoughtful sound. “You make a fair point. Counterpoint is that you’re still new here and have been exceptionally sheltered thus far. You don’t even know what mares are like when stallions aren’t around.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously,” Maud deadpanned. “We can be pretty nasty when it’s just us girls. If not from her friends, I can guarantee you she’s heard a lot worse from just going to the market. You know they still practice haggling outside the cities, right?”
Gregory furrowed his brow. “I’m gonna go out on a limb and say some of that’s exaggerations.”
“Oh?” Maud raised an eyebrow before waving over a unicorn mare dressed as a gardener. “Pardon me, miss, but my coltfriend,” she pointed at him, “thinks I’m exaggerating when I say mares can get really foul mouthed when stallions aren’t around.”
The gardener, whose name tag read Brass Penny, made a face of disbelief at Gregory. “You never had any sisters, did you?”
“Only child,” Gregory admitted proudly.
“Lucky,” Penny scoffed. “But she’s right, though. Put a bunch of mares together without any stallions to impress and ‘foul’ starts to look like an understatement.”
“What’s so funny?” Maud asked as Gregory snickered.
“Just… I grew up with some pretty twisted stuff,” he chortled, recalling his vast collection of 80’s movies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ypgzzDvZS4 “And that was before I started watching the raunchy stuff.” He smiled at their confusion, feeling rather smug at his exclusive knowledge of the horror of human media aimed at children. “But I think I’ll just take your word for it.”
“Good call,” Penny commented as she bowed and took her leave.
Maud nuzzled under Gregory’s chin. “By the way, sweetie, there’s something I needed to tell you.”
Gregory raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Should I be worried?”
“Probably not,” Maud replied. “But I thought you’d like to know that I might have found another pony for our herd.”
Gregory stared down at Maud, unable to think of a proper response at first.
Sensing his tension, Maud cozied up to her stallion. “We met in the city a couple nights ago. She’s something of an old flame from a few years ago. We had dinner together last night, catching up on old times, and I think it went pretty well.”
“Might?” Gregory finally asked.
Maud nodded. “False alarms can happen sometimes. She looks a little like one of the unicorns from my vision, but I’m not completely certain yet.”
Gregory frowned. He could hear the slight tinge of uncertainty in Maud’s voice and didn’t care for it, especially the way it sounded like she was confessing something really hard. He wanted her to go back to her usual confident self. However, as he contemplated his feelings on the idea of Maud seeing someone else did bother him a little, he realized that his uncertainty would only feed into hers and resolved to keep calm. “This might not seem like much from an outsider, but it sounds like you’re in the same boat as everyone else.”
“How so?”
“Well… not everyone has a Choosing Stone to point the way. For the rest of us we just gotta throw ourselves out there and hope for the best. It’s a bit of a gamble when you think about it.” He chuckled. “I mean, that’s how it was for me. I met you, thought you were cute, and then I decided to just throw caution to the wind and start talking to the pretty lady at the party. After that,” he chuckled again, “I guess my gamble paid off.” Gregory was rewarded with a soft kiss under his jaw.
“Have I told you what a great stallion you are?” she asked with a purr.
“Yes, but you could stand to say it more often,” he beamed proudly as he felt the warmth of her compliment spread through him. “So…”
“Yes?”
“Are you going to introduce me to this mare?”
“Not yet,” Maud said flatly. “She’s a little aloof and in a bit of an awkward state at the moment, so I don’t want to rush things. I’m pretty sure you two would get along, but I need to check her out more to make sure. Once I’m certain she’s the right one, then we can begin proper courting.”
“Sounds fair, I guess,” Gregory said with a shrug.
Maud stroked a hoof along Gregory’s chest. “I love you, Gregory. No matter what happens, never doubt that.”
Gregory threw a hoof around her side and pulled her close. “Never even crossed my mind,” he said with a reassuring smile. “But there is one thing that did.”
“Oh?”
“When you say ‘check her out’, what all does that entail?”
“We should get you a book on pony courtship behavior,” Maud said resolutely to Gregory’s nod of agreement. “Until then, you should know that when a mare petitions to join a herd, she applies primarily to the lead mare, who is free to do as she likes to make sure the new mare is a good fit.” After a brief pause she added, “Which includes checking to see if she can satisfy the herd stallion.”
“So… sex?” It wasn’t really a question.
“Sex,” Maud confirmed, but frowned slightly as she felt her Gregory shift a little. “Would it help if I told you more about her?”
“Maybe.”
“For one thing, she’s…”
“Excuse me!”
The cuddling couple looked up to see a very posh looking mare approaching. She was a sand colored unicorn wearing a dress with far too many frills covering a rather dangly and frail looking body. Behind her trotted a black earth stallion who looked entirely unpleased to be here. At their approach, Gregory and Maud straightened to be more presentable with the former banishing his magical hands.
“Excuse me,” the mare said again, this time directly addressing Maud. “My name is Sand Paper. Do I have the pleasure of addressing Maud Pie, daughter of Cloudy Quartz and lead mare of Gregory Grimory?”
“I am,” Maud acknowledged.
Gregory waited for her look at him to signal his own introduction, but it never came.
“Excellent,” Sand Paper said with a subdued cheer. “I heard the rumor, but it seemed too much to hope for. The Prince,” she said with a hint of disapproval, “has been giving others and myself the runabout for weeks now. So you can imagine my elation to learn that such a valuable stud had finally been claimed by a proper mare capable of seeing reason.”
Maud wrapped a possessive leg around Gregory’s side, flexing her earth pony strength just enough to make sure he and Sand Paper knew that he wasn’t going anywhere without her say so. “And what reason would that be?”
“First of all,” Sand Paper tittered with an unpleasant scratchy sound, “allow me to congratulate you on your superb maneuvering to snatch the human pony for yourself. Others might begrudge you for stealing the prize they had sought, but I am much more practical. To the winner go the spoils, as they say.” She looked like she expected Maud to join her in another laugh, but quickly realized that wasn’t happening. “In any case, I was hoping to request the services of your stud.” She lifted a small bag with her magic and shook it a little to jingle the coins inside.
Maud cast an accusing gaze on the black stallion, only for him to lower his head submissively before she looked at his mare. “You seem to already have a stallion of your own. Why, exactly, do you need mine?”
“Alas, my dear Black Hoof has proven tragically inept in bed.” Sand Paper threw her head back with a melodramatic whimper. “My herd is currently looking for an additional stallion to shore up his breeding duties, but until then I have decided that it would be ideal for the next heir of Herd Paper to carry human genes.”
Black Hoof gave a disappointed sigh, which both Maud and Gregory took as a poor sign.
“I’m terribly sorry, but my Gregory is not up for studding just yet,” Maud said as cordially as she could, but Gregory could hear the slight strain in her voice.
“Well obviously I didn’t mean right this moment,” Sand Paper tittered. “My heat isn’t for another few weeks. This meeting is simply to set a date and price.” She grinned wickedly and jingled the bag of coins once more for emphasis.
“Excuse me.” Gregory raised a hoof and put on his best smile. “I think what Maud is trying to say is that I’m just not ready for-”
Sand Paper coughed harshly and turned a stink eye onto Gregory. “Not ready indeed,” she hissed. “You haven’t even been properly trained to show due respect to a mare of my station.”
Rather than scowling in anger, Gregory felt his lips curl into an amused smile as he laughed.
Sand Paper looked especially irritated now and turned to scowl at Maud. “And what, pray tell, does he find so funny?”
“Gregory,” Maud said evenly. “What do you find funny?”
He leaned close to Maud’s ear, but whispered loud enough for their audience. “I feel sorry for Black Hoof. I don’t think I’d be able to get it up with her either.”
Black snorted his amusement, but was quickly silenced by a look from his mare.
“I think that settles that,” Maud said flatly as she hopped from the bench and motioned for Gregory to follow. He did, but positioned himself between Maud and the other mare in case she tried anything.
“Wha-where are you going!?” growled Sand Paper.
Maud stopped and lazily turned her head to look at the other mare with a single eye. “My stallion does not find you appealing, and frankly neither do I. As such, I’m sorry to say that you will not know the pleasures of his seed in your body.”
Sand Paper made a number of incoherent noises as she failed to form words. Her anger was on the rise and it looked like the rejection was on the verge of causing her to do something drastic. Black positioned himself in front of his mare, whispering calmly. Gregory braced himself to protect his girlfriend, readying a spell to go for her horn as he’d been taught in self defense, but Maud stepped out in front of him looking as unconcerned as ever.
“Come on, Gregory. We wouldn’t want to be late for your afternoon gaming session with Queen Luna.”
“Q-queen?” Sand Paper whispered as her temper instantly fell. Apparently the mere mention of Gregory’s connection to the royal family was enough to make her think twice of whatever she had been planning.
Maud nudged Gregory and they continued on until they left the pathetic mare and her stallion behind.
“Why did you do that?” Maud asked after they’d entered one of the palace side doors.
“Do what?”
Maud turned an accusing glare onto Gregory. “Back there. Why did you step in front of me?”
Gregory puzzled over Maud’s peculiar tone. She sounded frustrated, or perhaps hurt. “That bitch looked like she was about to do something stupid.”
“I saw that,” Maud fumed. “But why didn’t you move? Why didn’t you stay behind me from the start?”
Gregory’s puzzlement only grew. “I wasn’t about to let anything happen to you.”
“Stupid stallion.” Maud jabbed a hoof at Gregory’s side. “What if something had happened to you instead? Did you ever stop to think of that?”
Gregory gave a guilty smile, finally realizing what was making Maud so upset. Still, he considered his actions justified and steeled himself. “Maud. I’m sorry for making you worry,” he said as calmly as he could. He was glad when he saw his mare’s posture begin to relax in response. “What I did… it was basically reflex.”
Maud blinked in understanding. “So this is a human thing?”
“Pretty much,” Gregory agreed with a shrug. “I’m not big on the idea of some bitch threatening my mare and me not doing anything about it.”
Maud relaxed a bit further, appreciating being called his mare. “That might be all well and good for the human world, but this is Equestria. Here it’s the job of the mares to protect their stallions.”
“I get the idea,” Gregory sighed. “But I’m still not keen on just standing back and letting something happen to you.”
“I’m a Pie,” Maud said defiantly. “If it did come down to a fight, I could take on any of those stuck-up shrews any day of the week.”
Gregory laughed. “I’m pretty sure a light gust could have taken on that one.”
Maud croaked a soft laugh and pressed her cheek against Gregory’s. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
“I know,” Gregory beamed as he nuzzled right back.
They continued on to Luna’s game room where Maud wasted no time explaining why they were late and who was responsible.
Luna scowled. “Such attitudes were falling out of favor even before my banishment. A pity that such things continue to linger.”
“I don’t think we’ll be hearing from them again,” Gregory insisted, hoping to diffuse the growing tension. “Maud shut her up when she mentioned who we were going to see.”
Luna looked quite pleased at this. “Verily. Well done, Lady Maud, for reminding this sandy prat of her true place in the hierarchy.”
Expressionlessly, Maud nodded, and the gamers were allowed to pick up where they’d left off.
“Oh yeah!” Gregory exclaimed sometime after the game had begun. “Maud. You were about to tell me more about this new mare you’re seeing.”
Maud looked up from her poetry book. “Oh. I guess I got a little distracted.”
“A new mare?” Luna asked, never daring to tear her eyes from the screen. “Do tell.”
“She’s a performer,” Maud began. “We had met a while ago, but I saw her again at one of her shows. We started catching up and more or less hit it off.”
“You said she was aloof,” Gregory recalled. “How so?”
“On the outside she’s rather boisterous, even referring to herself in the third person, but she’s not all that used to interacting with ponies outside her shows.”
Gregory frowned. “Sounds like she’s got a bit of an ego.”
“A ‘bit’ is an understatement,” Maud said flatly. “But once you get past that, she’s actually really sweet and funny.”
Smirking, Gregory glanced back over at Maud. “And we all know what a sucker you are for the funny ones.”
“Pay attention!” Luna barked. “Don’t you dare let your guard down, lest we be swarmed again.”
Gregory returned his eyes to the screen, but quirked his ear back at Maud, giving her the go ahead to keep talking.
“She uses her magic to awe her audiences with grand spectacles.” She went on to describe the numerous lights and images the mare had conjured. The more she spoke, the more her excitement shown through her otherwise neutral expression. “I’ve never seen magic put to such elaborate use before.”
“Really?” Gregory asked. “Seems like a no-brainer to use magic for special effects.”
“The ability to project such images is – Gah! Curse these vile cannon fodder.” Luna said through gritted teeth. She calmed when Gregory cleared the room and went over to revive her. “It is a difficult skill to master,” she grumbled, still sour from her latest death.
Gregory smiled apologetically at Luna. “If you’d like, we could-”
“If thou dare sayith to ‘lower the difficulty’,” Luna snarled, “we swear, by the 5,042 craters of the moon, that you will be punished.” Instead of seeing a whimpering mess of a stallion, as she was used to whenever she lost her temper, she was surprised to find her friend with his hoof to his muzzle, suppressing a laugh. It was so surprising that Luna’s mind went momentarily blank.
“Something funny, sweetie?” Maud asked.
“Just,” Gregory chortled, “that was way too close to an anime reference.”
Luna’s temper soon faded as she joined him in laughter, pausing the game. It was moments like these that defined their friendship, as it so often was with human ponies. Being not of Equestria, humans lacked the almost instinctual impulse of ponies and other races to bow before the alicorns. They had little qualm with meeting the Queens in the eyes as friends and equals. Friendship was something earned through mutual respect, not bought with petty gifts or titles.
The nobles, on the other hoof, had always been a bunch of simpering twats as far as Luna was concerned. Since her return, she found that little had changed. Too often their petitions were repulsively petty, their offers of courtship were offensively transparent, and the few times they’d expressed interest in games as a means of winning her comradery had just left her feeling sorry for them. At least their attempts at bribery had gotten better, though not by much. She felt no guilt in accepting the piles of games they threw her way while only offering the most minimal of thanks in exchange, rather than the favors they had hoped for.
“Do elaborate, Sir Gregory. To what has her royal highness inadvertently referenced?” Luna pressed a hoof to her chest, speaking with mock haughtiness.
“Sailor Moon,” Gregory replied. “A transforming magical girl who fights bad guys with her moon powers.” He grinned wickedly at the elation on the Queen’s face. “She’s also a whiney crybaby whose comrades do most of the work while she gets the glory of the finishing blow.”
Luna scowled back at Gregory who smirked daringly right back. “I might just have to punish you anyways.”
Feeling bold, Gregory dared to ask “How?”
Not expecting the challenge, Luna blinked and glanced frantically around the room. Gregory trusted her. His lack of fear at her earlier ire was evident that he knew she would never truly hurt him. However, her pride as a diarch had been challenged and it had to be met. Finally her eyes landed on Maud and a wicked smirk grew on her lips as she recalled what had happened in the gardens. “Continue this treasonous behavior,” she pointed at the earth mare, “and we will have no choice but to sit on your mare!”
Taken aback, Gregory’s eyes swiveled between the triumphant queen and his stoic marefriend, unable to determine exactly how he felt about this ‘punishment’.
“Objection,” Maud said flatly. “This is hardly fair recourse.”
“Oh?” Luna beamed confidently. “And why should family not bare the penalty together?”
“Because he’ll just take that as encouragement to keep acting up,” Maud said, catching Luna off guard once more.
“It’s true,” Gregory admitted with a somber nod. “I probably would.”
Luna’s eye had begun to twitch. Not only were these two now in open rebellion, but she had faltered in her effort to put them down. If Celestia finds out, she’ll never let me live it down. Steeling herself, Luna braced for what must come next.
With a flash of magic, Gregory gawked as he beheld Maud’s lower body sticking out from beneath Luna’s behind. Her gray legs were immobile, but thankfully the rising of her belly showed she was still breathing. His eyes roamed the expanse of Luna’s flank, not noticing her twitching wings, as he imagined what lay beyond, until he dared to lean forward and peer between her legs. There lay Maud, as unconcerned as ever, with her chin only a few inches from Luna’s groin. He and his mare stared at each other for a good long while before she finally spoke.
“It’s softer than I imagined,” Maud said plainly. “There’s a fair amount of muscle, but it’s hidden beneath layers of cushiony goodness.” She looked up to face Luna, who could only stare back with bated breath. “It is with utmost humility that I, Maud Pie, accept this punishment on behalf of my stallion.”
“Maud?” Gregory asked in utter befuddlement.
“Hush, sweetie,” she said evenly. “You can have your turn when I’m done.”
Luna realized she’d grossly underestimated these two, especially the mare. Unwilling to admit that she’d made a horrible mistake, she resolved to ride this decision out (poor choice of words), pick up her controller, and hope nothing would happen to make the situation any more awkward.
It had taken much effort for Luna to convince the others to never speak of what had happened in the game room again. Gregory was willing, but Maud proved to be a shrewd negotiator, requesting a number of tax reforms which, as Luna pointed out, would directly benefit Pie Industries. While Gregory insisted that Maud was taking things too far, that blackmailing royalty was a serious offense that could lead to serious consequences, Maud merely asked where she could find Queen Celestia this time of day and Luna came up with all manner of rationalizations that they were simply engaging in private negotiations. The trio parted on seemingly good terms, with Luna rushing back to her game room to relieve her anxiety.
“I can’t believe you just did that,” Gregory said as he lay on his bed, staring at Maud. What she’d done, and how calmly she’d done it, scared him. However, as he thought more about it, he realized that it wasn’t actually fear he was feeling, but excitement.
Maud had been arranging the crystals on the windowsill according to hardness; he’d started a small collection since their first trip to the crystal shop; when she caught a glance of the way her stallion was staring at her. She rolled her rump slightly; drawing his attention to where she felt it belonged as she pretended not to notice.
“You seem to have trouble believing a lot of things I do,” she said casually as she inspected a citrine, recalling that Gregory had once said it was his favorite. “Maybe the issue isn’t with me, but your belief system?”
“I believe you’re purposefully shaking that flank of yours to entice me,” he growled. “How does that sound?”
“An interesting theory,” Maud said dispassionately as she set down the stone and turned to face him. “Do you have any evidence?”
“Were you shaking your butt at me a second ago?”
“Yes.”
“That’s my evidence,” he smirked.
“Compelling,” Maud said as she strode up to the bed. “But I’m afraid we can’t follow through until you can prove beyond a reasonable doubt.” She stopped with her face less than an inch from his.
Already able to feel the heat from her muzzle, Gregory leaned closer. “So, hypothetically, how would a guy go about removing all doubt that his sexy mare was shaking her sexy flank in his face?”
“Well…” Maud averted her gaze, looking strangely guilty. “There is something I’ve been meaning to ask.”
Gregory pulled back, frowning in confusion.
Not saying a word, Maud walked over to the book shelf, retrieved a tome, and brought it back for Gregory’s inspection.
The book was not one he recognized as his. Reasoning that Maud must have brought it over at some point, he noted the arcane symbols on the cover indicated that it was a spell book; though not of a kind he was familiar with. It was definitely not something Peach had ever shown him. At Maud’s urging, he noted the blue bookmark and turned to the desired page. His jaw fell as his eyes fell upon the title at the top of the page.
Fun Times with Magic and Anal Sex
“Sorry,” Maud apologized, staring at the ground and rubbing a hoof against her leg in embarrassment.
Gregory opened his mouth to speak, but decided to remain silent and let Maud explain herself.
“I found this book a while ago and… maybe… possibly left it here in the hopes you’d notice and… well…” she trailed off, unable to complete her thought.
“That I’d take the hint and practice the,” he coughed, glancing back at the page, “spells?” Maud was clearly having a hard time and he knew, despite her earlier boldness with Luna, that he needed to be gentle with her feelings. He looked down at the book, skimming the subheadings. Unsurprisingly, pretty much everything was related to butt play, from cleaning, to lubrication, to the various applications of magical pressure that spilled over into the next few pages. “Maud…”
“I understand if you don’t want to.” She was still unable to look him in the eye. “And I’m not saying I haven’t loved everything you’ve done up until now! Especially the stuff you do with your mouth,” she added quietly. “It’s just that…”
“You… want to try something… new?” Gregory asked carefully.
“It’s not new,” Maud admitted. “I’ve always liked doing it donkey style.”
Gregory’s brow furrowed in puzzlement until it hit him. Donkey equals ass. Duh.
“Whenever I went into heat, I would always use this special two pronged cooler. I, uh, still own it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” At her questioning look, Gregory shook his head. “Not the cooler. I mean,” he held up the book, “this. Why didn’t you just ask me, well, directly?”
Maud lowered her head. “Because I’m a mare. Its… embarrassing to want to do it like a stallion.”
“Wow,” Gregory deadpanned. “That may be the silliest thing I’ve ever heard, and I’ve met your sister.”
Maud looked up, her ears perked in interest.
“That is, not that you’re silly, but…” Gregory went back to reading over the book before he stuck his hoof in his mouth again. “I guess arbitrary taboos on sex are a burden across all dimensions, huh?”
“It… um…” Maud continued, a bit more optimistic. “It’s also considered disrespectful for a mare to do that to a stallion. It’s like saying that you’re… just a toy and that your, well, seed isn’t good enough for foals.”
“Oh,” Gregory nodded, finding this explanation slightly less arbitrary. “But you don’t see it like that, right?” He already knew the answer, but felt he needed to ask for her sake.
“Of course not!” Maud asserted. “You’re my stallion and I love every part of you.” Her face reddened when her mind caught up with her words.
“You just want to feel good,” Gregory said plainly. “And you’re asking because you care about how I feel.”
Maud gulped, sensing the tone of appreciation in her stallion’s voice. “So… you don’t mind that…”
“My sexy mare wants it in her sexy tail hole?” He finished with a sly smile. “Not one bit.”
Maud’s face turned beat red as she stared blankly at her stallion. She had always feared what might happen if stallions found out her fetish, which was regarded as highly taboo in the more conservative parts of Equestria. Of course she trusted Gregory not to do anything rash like kick her out of the herd. He loved her and she knew it. However, she had still braced herself to calm down his disgust and make amends by offering to do it any way he liked. But this…
“Which, um, which one did you want me to try first?” he asked, indicating the book.
Maud blinked, snapping back to reality. “Oh, uh, the first one.” She pointed at the top of the page just below the introductory explanation. “Cleaning,” she squeaked. “It’s the s-simplest, and a st-standard part of a-all…”
“I get it,” Gregory assured as he began reading in earnest.
Maud stood silently, grinding her thighs together in anxious anticipation as her stallion studied. The grinding only served to stoke the fires growing in her loins and she was overcome with the urge to do something. She left him on the bed and hurried to the bathroom where she retrieved a number of items they might need; toilet paper, lubricant, and herbal stimulants to name a few. Let none say that Maud was a mare who didn’t come prepared.
Peeking out of the bathroom to see her stallion was still distracted; a still anxious Maud decided to disrobe. Her frock was quickly removed and folded neatly. Looking at herself in the mirror, she grabbed a comb and started fiercely attacking her mane and tail, removing all traces of imperfection, which took less time than she’d hoped. She didn’t want to pressure Gregory by asking him to hurry. It would be criminal to be so rude after he was going to such trouble for her sake. However, her increasingly distraught mind was beginning to contemplate jumping him and forcing it inside, without lubricant, and just riding him the rest of the day and all night.
“Alright,” Gregory announced calmly. “Seems straight forward enough.”
Maud walked up towards him, set the supplies down on the floor, and angled her body so that he was facing her side and her rear was aimed at the open door to the bathroom. She wasn’t especially literate in magic symbols, but it still seemed courteous to help out in whatever way she could. “R-ready whenever you are.”
Gregory held his hoof in front of his face, as if trying to touch the spell as he read. “Alright,” he exhaled. “Here goes… something.” And he cast the spell.
Maud gasped and collapsed to the floor. The pressure inside her rectum was brief, but the feeling of being touched so intimately by magic was incredible. There was the slightest wet *plop* that came from the toilet. Maud exhaled, clenching her rear around the pressure her mind told her should still be there, but there was nothing. The spell had done its work, cleaning out her insides thoroughly and ensuring nothing would get terribly messy.
“Maud!” Gregory dropped the book, hopped from the bed, and rushed to her side. Seeing the way she shook made his heart sink and he rubbed his hoof against her mane.
Maud looked up and blinked at her stallion. “I’m… fine,” she grunted.
“You sure?” He surveyed her body anxiously for anything that seemed out of place. “I mean, you just-”
“It was your magic touch,” Maud exhaled contentedly. “Cliché as it may be, it was magical.”
Gregory chuckled giddily as he rested his cheek against hers. “You’re something else, you know.”
“I’ve had suspicions, but thanks for confirming,” Maud said flatly. While normally she’d be content to just rest and cuddle with her stallion, they had a mission to carry out and she wagged her flanks against him.
Gregory took the hint and stood, looking down at Maud questioningly. “So, um, how do we start?”
The earth pony did not speak as she lifted her rump high in the air, flagging her tail back as she kept her front half pressed against the carpet. “First, I’ll need a pillow.” Gregory nodded and promptly swiped one from the bed, setting it beneath Maud’s head. “Second, I’ve had plenty of success letting you explore on your own,” she said with a playful shake.
Purposefully, Gregory slipped off his pants before walking around behind Maud where he had to stop himself from drooling at the delectable sight. He’d seen her privates before, but now her anus was winking just like her pussy, inviting him in. He set a hoof on her rump, less than an inch away from her ponut as it winked all the faster.
Maud coughed, getting Gregory’s attention as she pointed at the supplies, particularly the lubricant. He moved to snatch it with his magic, only to return and find that Maud had reached behind and spread her left plot cheek back, presenting herself fully. “I don’t want you to miss,” she deadpanned, snorting cutely at her own joke.
“Should we, um, stretch you out first?” Gregory asked. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Don’t worry,” Maud groaned impatiently. “Pony bodies are really flexible, plus I’ve had a lot of practice back there. To be honest, you probably don’t even need the lube. I could have…” Maud paused, eyes widening in realization.
“Could have?”
“Could have just used my mouth,” she said with a sulk at the missed opportunity to fellate him.
“Next time,” Gregory chuckled lightly. Now more confident, he took another glance at the still opened book and nodded at the directions. Gregory hopped up onto Maud’s back, using her rump for support as she cooed in delight at the pressure of his weight atop her. Having long been out of his sheath, Gregory let his dick flop between Maud’s soft cheeks. He began humping up and down her crack, the slickness of her mare juices coating the underside of his cock as he did. Remembering the bottle of lubricant, he undid the cap and poured a generous helping onto his shaft.
Maud cooed as the cool liquid flowed around her ass, creating a wonderful contrast with the burning dick. She gave her rump an enticing shake as she fought the urge to clench around the length too soon. Unable to form words, Maud looked over her shoulder and gave a pleading squeak.
Gregory nodded. “Alright.” Positioning the tip of his penis against her winking ponut, Gregory leaned forward with a gentle push. He gasped sharply as Maud’s tail hole opened for him. It was tight, but he managed to slide in surprisingly smoothly. Guess she really did practice. He continued to slide in until he felt her dripping pussy against his balls.
Maud covered her muzzle to muffle a cry of joy. Her stallion was so amazingly gentle in how he’d entered. And now he was inside her forbidden hole, her mind unable to grasp anything apart from the feeling of warmth and fullness he was giving her. The way her insides churned and moved aside to make way for their guest was divine.
“I…” Gregory gasped, body quivering anxiously as he felt her anal walls grip around his shaft. “I’m going to s-start now.”
Maud peeked up from her hooves to find Gregory’s eyes trained on her. He was asking permission, and she nodded.
Gregory pulled out slowly, savoring the feeling of her anal walls clenching around him, but also the quiet moaning of his mare. When only the tip was left inside, Gregory slammed back in with as much force as he dared, earning louder moans from his mare.
“Harder,” she begged.
Gregory nodded, repeating the process of slowly exiting followed by a swift thrust inside. “Oh Maud!” he moaned amidst the wet sloppy sounds of their fucking. Without realizing, his horn had begun glowing as magical hands materialized around his fore hooves. His magical construct fingers gripped around her flanks, paying special attention to her cutie marks. At Maud’s growing cries of pleasure, Gregory intensified his thrusting.
“Harder!” Maud growled.
Gregory obeyed, growling with lust as his thighs slapped against her flanks. All notions of rhythm were lost as he pounded away wildly into her amazing ass. With one final thrust, Gregory bottomed out inside Maud and let out a triumphant howl.
Maud felt Gregory’s tip flare before he came inside her ass, filling her with his warm hot cum. She buried her face into the pillow, crying out in muffled ecstasy. It happened. It had finally happened. A real stallion had just cum in her anus, and she loved it. She’d also cum, her pussy spraying her juices all over Gregory’s balls and thighs.
As with their first time, Gregory collapsed onto Maud’s back. Though, to his credit, he managed to not fall asleep this time. Gripping weakly around her middle, Gregory looked up for a view of Maud’s face. Her face was obscured by the pillow as her body rose and fell with her breathing.
“You… did it…” Maud said softly.
“I did,” Gregory whispered back.
“It’s so warm inside me,” Maud moaned, clenching her butt around the flaccid cock.
A goofy grin spread across Gregory’s face. “Pleasure, m’lady.” He tilted his imaginary hat at her.
Dismounting slowly, Gregory elicited a final moan of delight from Maud as he extracted his cock from her ass. Her anus remained gaping only for a short while before closing up again, sealing its liquid treasure inside.
Maud eventually found her hooves again, though Gregory remained by her side in case she still had trouble. The gesture was unnecessary, as they both knew how strong she was, but she leaned on him regardless as he helped her to the bathroom. After flushing, they climbed into the tub and showered off their excess sweat. Maud insisted on using her mouth to clean Gregory’s cock, uncaring for his concerns that it might be dirty. As it turned out, the cleaning spell had worked perfectly, as indicated by her moans of pleasure.
“I p-probably should have mentioned this earlier,” Gregory said through gritted teeth as Maud worked. “B-but I’ve always h-had a b-bit of a-oh-butt fetish.”
Maud ceased her ministrations and climbed out from beneath Gregory, fixing him with a deadpan glare, causing Gregory to fidget nervously. “If that’s the case, I don’t suppose you’d mind tending your mare’s plot more regularly?”
Gregory grinned and kissed Maud’s nose. “If that’s what my mare likes, then that’s what she’ll get.”
Trixie was a nervous wreck as she paced back and forth in front of the restaurant. Each lap found her gazing intently at the window of the clock store in the neighboring building. “4:24,” she mumbled under her breath, resuming her pacing. “4:25. 4:26. Where is she!?” She whispered to herself.
“4:30 on the dot. That’s what she said,” Trixie told herself as she held her head high to survey the area. Alas there was no sign of her date. She’d arrived nearly half an hour ago, wearing one of her fancier purple dresses no less, and had grown understandably anxious as she waited. And then a terrible thought occurred. Is she not coming? Did she ditch Trixie? Trixie shook her head violently. “No! She wouldn’t do that.” She told herself. “She’s not the sort of mare who would-”
“Hello,” came a dispassionate mare behind her.
Trixie jumped into the air before whirling around, adrenaline coursing through her as she lit her horn, ready to fight back against this… “Maud!?”
“The one and only,” she replied flatly. Maud was wearing her usual frock, though her eyeshadow looked a bit heavier than usual, leaving Trixie feeling a little overdressed.
With the poise befitting a runway model, Trixie composed herself and struck an elegant pose. “Fair Maud, so good of you to grace the Great and Powerful-”
“Trixie,” Maud finished. “I thought we talked about this.”
Trixie coughed, averting her eyes in embarrassment. “Sorry,” she squeaked meekly. “Old habits, as they say.”
Maud leaned forward and inhaled through her nose. “Old habits indeed. That’s the same brand of shampoo I picked out for you all those years ago.”
Trixie felt her cheeks burn. “T-Trixie remembers,” she giggled softly, happy that Maud noticed. Finally she met the mare’s eyes. “You’re as pretty as ever.”
Maud closed the distance between them and rubbed the mare’s cheek with hers. “I’m really glad you could make it.”
“W-w-well you know,” Trixie giggled nervously. “T-Trixie is busy with her show, but is always happy to make time for her biggest fans.”
Maud pulled back, meeting Trixie’s eyes with a soul-searching stare. She could see what Trixie was doing, boasting to cover up her anxiety. It hurt a little that the mare thought she still needed to hide behind bravado, especially around her date, but Maud decided to keep such thoughts to herself for the moment. “I might be an earth mare, but I’m really not that big.”
Trixie chuckled, a bit more at ease. “What’s that line stallions are so fond of? It’s not the size that matters, but how you use it.” Her eyebrows danced suggestively.
“Seems equally applicable to unicorns, as far as I’ve heard,” Maud dryly retorted.
A waiter came out to retrieve them, confirming they were the party that had made the reservation, and lead them inside. The restaurant’s lights were dim with slow music for ambiance, evoking a very romantic mood. Trixie and Maud were given a booth off in the corner, far from any prying eyes.
“Speaking of unicorns,” Trixie began as they perused their menus. “Trixie has heard your affinity for the horned tribe has not diminished since our last meeting. You’ve got yourself a stallion,” she teased.
“You heard correctly.” Maud’s ear twitched. “As far as unicorns go, I’d say he’s the most exotic I could hope for.”
Trixie nodded, giggling softly. “Remember when your sisters found out we were dating?”
“The horror,” Maud deadpanned as she recalled. The Pie sisters had given them no shortage of grief and teasing back during Trixie’s brief stay at the rock farm. “The worst parts were the endless barrages of congratulations. It’s like they were trying to make me strangle them or something.”
Trixie tried to hide her snickers as she recalled what had happened. Maud’s unicorn fetish was a poorly kept secret; one Trixie was made all too aware of when their relationship had begun. “They were just being helpful sisters trying to be supportive for big sis’s new relationship,” she consoled. “Although, Trixie did find it terribly amusing when they told of how you were so thirsty for unicorns that you practically threw yourself at any who gave you a second gla-OW!” Trixie yelped, feeling a sudden kick to her shin under the table. She peeked over her menu, only to quickly hide from the smoldering glare she received. “Trixie apologizes.”
“But are you sorry?” Maud asked flatly.
Trixie felt trapped. Maud had proved an impeccable diviner of truth, meaning any attempt at dishonesty would only land her in more trouble. She shook her head, only to give a surprised squeak when she felt Maud’s hoof gently stroking the spot she had kicked beneath their table. Daring to peek over her menu once more, Trixie was rewarded with her old crush giving her the faintest of smiles.
“I missed this.” Maud set her menu down and leaned forward. “I missed us.”
“Trixie missed you, too.” The unicorn leaned forward until their noses touched. They stayed like that for a while, staring down their muzzles into one another’s eyes until the waiter came by for their orders.
“How has life on the road been treating you?” Maud asked. “Still lonely?”
“At times,” Trixie sighed. “It helps to have magic as grand as Trixie’s for those cold, lonely nights, but nothing beats a real life body.”
“No argument here,” Maud agreed. “So do you still take in roadies, or is there somepony more…”
“No!” Trixie insisted, only for her ears to fold back meekly before straightening up in her seat. “What Trixie means to say is that, while she does continue to subsist off the affections of roadies, there has been no pony else.” She grabbed hold of Maud’s hoof. “There’s been no pony but you.”
Maud took hold of Trixie’s hoof, rubbing it gently. “So you’ve been saving yourself for me?”
Trixie blushed. Meaningless sexual encounters were, well, meaningless, especially given she was an un-herded mare. Her body had needs, so there was no shame in meeting them. however, as the mares gazed into one another’s eyes, Trixie was certain that Maud knew that the show mare’s heart belonged to none but her.
The waiter came by with their meals and the pair began eating, conversing over nothing in particular, until Trixie decided to address the elephant in the room.
“This stallion of yours,” Trixie swallowed nervously. “Is he… is it serious?” Maud had mentioned early in their reunion that she’d been dating the human stallion, but had been vague on many of the details. If she and Maud were getting back together, like she hoped, then she needed to know for certain.
“He’s my stallion. When my heat comes, he will be giving me a foal,” Maud deadpanned.
Trixie laughed nervously, finding her answer. It didn’t get much more serious than that.
“Is that a problem?” Maud inquired.
“Tri-I don’t know,” Trixie admitted despondently.
Maud slid across the booth until she sat beside Trixie. The earth mare pulled the unicorn against her chest in a powerful embrace as a hoof began massaging her back. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Maud’s grip was not bone crushing, as it could easily become, but it was tight enough to let Trixie know she wasn’t going anywhere until Maud let her. Trixie felt herself smile. “Does Trixie have a choice?”
“Probably not.”
Trixie sighed in relief as she nuzzled against the warmth of Maud’s chest, inhaling her calming scent. “How can you be sure he’ll even like me? I mean, he’s a crown sanctioned stud! He can have literally any mare he wants, probably even the queens if he asked nicely enough. Why would he settle for a mare like Trixie?”
“Because he’s not nearly as full of himself as you might be imagining,” Maud reassured. “He’s actually quite humble and down to earth, exactly the kind of stallion you need.”
Trixie would have asked why she needed a stallion for that when she had Maud, but decided the earth mare’s grip wasn’t the best place to start mouthing off. In all honesty, Trixie simply didn’t like stallions all that much. She didn’t dislike them, per-se. Rather, among the roadies she had taken into her wagon; she had found the mares to be more pleasurable company, though even that wasn’t saying very much.
“He’s also a storyteller. Since you’re a show mare, I can only see good things if the two of you combined your talents.”
“Unless Trixie turns evil again,” she grumbled, only to yelp when Maud tightened her grip. Instantly Trixie realized her mistake, speaking ill of somepony Maud cared for.
“That’s not you anymore,” Maud reassured as she nuzzled the top of Trixie’s head. “You’ve atoned and made a new mare of yourself.” She began petting Trixie’s back as she heard the mare sniffle into her shoulder. “Not to mention that I’m here. I’ll protect my little Trixie from any more gaudy jewelry.” Trixie’s sobs turned into chuckles, much to Maud’s relief. Laughter, as a certain pink mare had taught her, was a wonderful medicine.
“D-does he know?” Trixie asked into Maud’s frock.
“He doesn’t. And he won’t until you tell him.”
Trixie tensed in Maud’s grip. The earth mare had grown up in a very traditional household, where lying was very frowned upon. Even secrets were a kind of lie the mare would only suffer for so long, and Trixie knew it.
“You don’t have to be afraid,” Maud promised. “He’s not one of your shallow roadies, wanting only a quick buck with the fancy out-of-towner before leaving forever. He loves me deeply, as I know he’ll love you too. Like you said, he’s a crown sanctioned stud, so giving out love is part of the job description.”
Trixie chuckled again, wrapping her forelegs around Maud’s middle. “Because that doesn’t sound at all like the shallow roadies,” she laughed.
“That’s another thing you have in common,” Maud added. “You’re both basically celebrities, so you know what it’s like to be surrounded by ponies who only know you for your fame and not your real selves.” Maud inhaled deeply. “He needs friends like you who can sympathize with his plight.”
“Not to ruin the tender moment,” Trixie began cautiously, “but why can’t you do that for both of us?”
“Yours is not a plight I’ve ever known,” Maud admitted. “Most ponies I meet aren’t nearly stupid enough to mistreat me like you and he have had to endure.”
Trixie laughed once more and pulled away from Maud. The earth mare had successfully rebuilt the unicorn’s confidence, and the unicorn could think of no better way to show her gratitude than a full mouth kiss. Trixie tasted a mixture of their meals, but pushed through until she found the delectable taste of Maud’s natural saliva, moaning in delight at her achievement.
Maud hummed softly as she let Trixie take the lead. Her technique had improved, exploring the earth mare’s mouth and finding her sensitive spots, but Maud knew that she could easily dominate Trixie if she wanted.
The unicorn was all too aware of this as she traced her hooves down Maud’s sides until they poked at her flanks beneath the frock. Maud, once aroused, could become an indomitable sexual beast. This was another thing Trixie had missed about their relationship, especially on those lonely nights. However, she knew that a public restaurant was hardly the place to awaken that beast, and so rerouted her hooves back up Maud’s belly.
“Trixie,” Maud growled.
“Yes, Maud,” Trixie whimpered happily.
“Do you remember what you used to call me, back before you left?” Maud asked as she nuzzled around Trixie’s horn.
“T-Trixie might,” she stuttered anxiously, feeling a tingle in her nethers at the memory. “D-do you remember what you called Trixie?”
“As if I could forget.” Maud emphasized with the briefest of licks to the base of Trixie’s horn, earning a shudder from the mare. “Will you come back to me, Pet?”
As if their make out weren’t bad enough, the mere mention of that word caused Trixie’s hind legs to rub together, trying to ease the burning tension. “If… if that is what Mistress wishes,” she whispered.
Lessons with the CMC had been going on for a while now. They insisted that they were on the verge of a breakthrough, but Gregory was beginning to worry that his humanity might be standing in the way. After all, he’d never demonstrated anything he’d perceived as true talent in his old life, as such things were seen as rare amongst humans. The queens assured him that such notions were absurd, as all humans had gotten their marks at some point, with some even having them immediately after transforming. Work was going well and he and Maud had been having a lot of fun. At Blueblood’s insistence, Gregory had been attending more local functions so he could interact with more ponies outside his inner circle. All in all, everything seemed to be going quite well, which made now the perfect time for a shakeup.
After a trip to Gregory’s room to tidy up one last time, the mare and her stallion departed for the city, chatting idly about this and that as they went while Gregory’s guard, Strong Hoof, followed silently behind. They perused various shops of interest, but never deviated from their course.
Gregory didn’t say anything, but he was slowly working himself into a small nervous wreck as they walked. His mind raced with uncertainty about this new mare and whether he and she would get along just because Maud seemed dead set on making a connection happen. Sensing his anxiety, Maud had to brush against his side several times to calm him down. It helped, but only a little. She also added that this date was meant to be all about him and this new mare, so he shouldn’t get too upset if she stayed quieter than usual.
Eventually they arrived at the outdoor café where Maud had made reservations. It was a quaint little restaurant with plenty of ponies wearing business casual attire, presumably to talk business. Strong Hoof was told to wait off to the side, where she could be vigilant and not kill the mood.
“So you have a lot of movies in the human world?” asked Maud, hoping to jumpstart the conversation.
“More than here,” Gregory replied. “Think the small household screens like Luna has for gaming, but they can also show films.”
“That’s pretty clever,” Maud noted. “I suppose you had one of these film screens.”
“We call it television, or TV for short, but yes. Just about every home in my country has at least one.”
“Why would you need more than one?” Maud asked skeptically.
“So that if people want to watch different things, they don’t necessarily have to fight over the one TV.”
“Sounds expensive.”
“It can be,” Gregory said with a shrug. “My house only had two. One in the game room, which was hooked up to all my games, and another in the living room, where the family would watch stuff together.” He went on to describe how television was also useful for news, historical documentaries, education, and so on. However, as he went on, he could tell that Maud was not pleased by the idea of a family just sitting around a screen all day and not talking to each other.
“Screens for films sounds interesting, but I don’t think I’ll want more than one in my house,” Maud deadpanned.
“Fair enough.” Gregory shrugged noncommittally. It wasn’t like household televisions were something they’d have to deal with any time soon. “By the way, how are things going with Canterlot U?”
“They’re going good,” Maud answered evenly. “So far everypony’s impressed with my credentials. While it’s near the end of the semester, I’m going to be shadowing one of the other professors to get a feel for the job.”
“I never doubted,” Gregory beamed. He was rewarded as Maud began playing hoovesies with him under the table, all while her trademark deadpan never wavered. “Ya know, the first time we met, I’d have never pegged you for the playful type.”
“Most don’t.” Maud scooted her chair around the table to have easier reach. “It’s kind of fun surprising ponies.”
“I’ll bet,” Gregory chuckled as he brought his unattended hoof into the mix. Things quickly escalated and their hidden war threatened to spill out from beneath the table cloth. Eventually the pair remembered that they were, in fact, adults, and decided to end their game on a tie and hold a tie breaker later. “On an unrelated note, you plan on telling me more about this mystery mare before we meet?” Gregory inquired.
“Probably not. I’d like you to be surprised. Why?”
“Oh, no reason,” Gregory said with a shrug. “You find this nice girl, date her for a little while, and suddenly learn that she’s seeing this other lady behind your back.”
“I’m not seeing her behind your back,” Maud protested flatly. “I told you that I wasn't sure and that I needed to do a bit more checking before I could get her ready. Even Luna backed me up that that’s a perfectly normal thing to do.”
Gregory scowled skeptically, not fond of how overly insistent Maud sounded. “Even so, why haven’t you told me more about her?”
“Because I already have,” Maud countered. “She’s a unicorn, works as a performer, is highly proficient in magic, has savory flanks, and while she might seem a little full of herself sometimes, she’s really fun to talk to. Also, I’m getting a strong feeling from her, the same that I got from you.”
Gregory frowned skeptically. “Fun how?”
“You’ll see when she arrives.”
“And you’re sure this is appropriate?” he asked, indicating his blue vest and dress slacks.
“Yes, plus you combed your mane. That’s more than enough for a first meeting,” she reassured. “And that’s all this is, a first meeting for you two to get a feel for one another. I’d much rather you see each other in your natural states, anyway. Besides, I told her about your clothing fetish and she said she’d wear something just to make you more comfortable.”
“It’s not a fetish!” Gregory argued for what felt like the hundredth time before sagging in his seat. He knew Maud was just trying to rile him up. “I just… This is important to you. I get that. I want to make a good first impression and not embarrass myself.” Especially not in front of a potential new wife.
“You’ll do fine,” she grabbed his hoof and stroked it reassuringly. “You two are going to love each other. I promise.” Maud assured, only to start waving someone over.
“Maud!” a mare greeted eagerly.
Gregory turned to face this new mare, unsure of what to expect from his possible new herd mate. She immediately stuck out of the crowd with her star spackled wizard’s hat and cape. Her fur was blue, her mane was silvery white, and her eyes were a dark violet. She galloped forward with an eager grin on her face, only to remember herself and slowed to a proud trot.
After standing and staring at the café for far too long, Trixie had finally worked up the nerve to just dive in. She’d quieted the voices in her head speculating about everything that could possibly go wrong and chose instead to focus on Maud and her words of encouragement. He won’t hate me, she repeated internally as she stepped forward, feeling the dampness in her pits.
Maud hugged the new mare tightly. “Hello, Trixie. How have you been?”
“Trixie must confess that she has been in a dire fluster all day,” Trixie bemoaned dramatically, grateful that Maud had either not noticed or had chosen to ignore the nervousness dampening her fur, and looked past Maud, meeting the eyes of the stallion beside her. Her heart was a flutter with anxiety. She’d been stressing about this meeting all day, but took another calming breath to maintain her composure. The last thing she wanted was to make a bad impression.
He approached beside Maud, offering his hoof as he appraised this new mare. From what he knew of the pony sense of aesthetics, she was definitely a looker. Her eyes were a dark violet that seemed to shimmer in the sun. He couldn’t make any judgments regarding her other facial features, but in terms of body she definitely seemed to have curves in all the right places. “Hello there. Trixie, was it?”
“The Gr-” Trixie began, only to think better of it as she offered her own hoof. “Er, yes. Trixie is the name; finest show mare in all Equestria. And you must be Gregory. Maud has told Trixie much about you.”
“That makes one of us,” Gregory said with a half-smile as he glanced at Maud. “She’s barely said a thing about you.”
“Do not fret, for it seems dearest has also been holding out on Trixie,” she said as her eyes crawled over Gregory’s form. “She failed to mention just how handsome you are.” While Trixie knew no stallion was immune to flattery, it was the truth that she liked what she saw. His curved horn looked especially enticing and exotic, causing her imagination to briefly drift to all manner of lewd scenarios before she reined her dirty in. And while his flanks were covered, she judged them to be at least adequate for getting the job done.
Gregory felt his cheeks turn hot at the mare’s compliment. “Well, she did have a few things to say about you.”
“Pray tell, what was it?” Trixie asked with subdued eagerness as they retook their seats.
Gregory leaned forward and whispered quietly. “I believe the words ‘flank’ and ‘savory’ were used.” He chuckled as his eyes went back to appraising. “Seems she wasn’t exaggerating.”
Maud’s face was as still as a stone, but on the inside she was smiling at Gregory’s forthrightness.
Now it was Trixie’s turn to blush. So far so good, she thought. “Speaking of which, Trixie just noticed that we three are the only ones to not have our flanks on full display.” She gestured to the surrounding ponies before pointing at her cape. “This is Trixie’s stage outfit, for bedazzling her audience with her marvelous magic.”
“Old family tradition,” Maud said flatly as she touched the collar of her frock.
“Old custom from back home,” Gregory added with a shrug.
“Ah yes. Trixie recalls that you are the infamous human all the nobility is talking about.”
“Infamous?” Gregory asked. “What makes me so infamous?”
“Impatient nobles, mostly.” Trixie rolled her eyes. “Trixie has heard rumors that they may soon prepare a formal petition to the crown demanding you ‘do your duty’,” she said using her hooves for air quotes, “or some such nonsense.”
“Oh,” Gregory groaned at the thought, only for Maud to rub his side gently.
“Truly a disgrace if true,” Trixie continued, watching his reactions carefully. “One would think the upper class would have class enough to not go around forcing themselves on stallions like that. But,” she sighed, “that is simply how their world works.”
Gregory grinned at the mare’s outlook. “You spend a lot of time with nobles?”
“Trixie should think so, as she used to be one,” she stated bitterly. “But one scandal too many and Trixie’s family was more or less ostracized after we had to sell the estate to pay off our debts.”
“I’m so sorry to hear that,” Gregory offered. “That must have been hard.”
Trixie turned her nose up indignantly, but was unable to hide the blush on her face. The attention of a stallion was always something to be treasured. “It was… but Trixie does not want to ruin the mood. What’s past is past and Trixie would much rather talk of the future. For instance: can Trixie expect to see you both at her show tonight?”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Maud stated certainly.
“What kind of show?” Gregory asked, hoping to bring up Trixie’s mood. “Maud’s told me a little, but I’m still curious.”
“It’s amazing,” Maud replied. “I’ve always thought that magic was beautiful, but most unicorns only use it as a tool. But Trixie,” she pointed, “has taken the mundane and turned it into a wonder.”
Maud leaned close to Gregory’s ear. “She breaks character when she gets excited.”
“Hmph!” Trixie huffed. “The Great and Powerful Trixie would kindly appreciate her secrets not being blabbed about so willy nilly.”
“Yes?” A crimson unicorn stallion asked.
“Pardon?” Trixie tilted her head in confusion at the intruding stallion.
“I’m Willy Nilly. Did you want something?”
“Oh,” Trixie blushed as Gregory chuckled and Maud gave a soft snort. “Trixie apologizes for the misunderstanding, but she was not referring to you.”
Willy scowled and flicked his head around in annoyance, likely having dealt with this particular misunderstanding before.
“Anyway,” Gregory resumed. “Anyone want to finally tell me about when Maud started seeing this new mare behind my back?”
“You didn’t tell him?” Trixie asked.
“I’ve been giving previews, but I figured you could tell the story better,” Maud deadpanned.
Trixie nodded, seemingly satisfied with this explanation and cleared her throat. “It all began a few years ago when Trixie was in a… rather poor state,” she admitted hesitantly. “She and her show were scorned by the masses and were driven out of most townships. Trixie had to take up work on a rock farm just to get by.” Her dower expression suddenly brightened as she looked to Maud. “That’s when Trixie first saw her.”
“I remember,” Maud added. “It was about midday and the sunlight reflected nicely off your sweaty body.” Involuntarily, or perhaps very deliberately, the earth mare licked her lips. “It was truly a sight to behold.”
Trixie shifted in her seat, growing rather bothered from the earth mare’s insinuations. It felt like fireflies had spontaneously teleported within her stomach, filling her with warm tingles. “In any case, a certain mare decided to sneak up on Trixie later that day. However, Trixie is quite accustomed to fans seeking autographs and wasn’t at all startled,” she boasted.
“Is that why you literally jumped out of your hat and cape?” Maud deadpanned while Gregory hid his chuckling muzzle behind his hoof.
Trixie coughed before continuing. “Anyway, Trixie had readied herself to answer what, at the time, she’d assumed were questions of an eager fan, only to be further surprised when her knees began to quake at what she beheld.” She gazed at Maud with a soft smile for a moment. “I don’t know if it was the fading light of the setting sun, or some other trick, but Trixie found herself thinking this earth mare to be oddly enchanting.”
“I remember,” Maud said with a nod. “You had your mouth hanging open, so I had to close it for you. Didn’t want birds making a nest in there.” The corner of her mouth twitched, threatening to turn up into a smile. “After that…” she trailed off.
“After that…” Gregory repeated after a prolonged silence of the mares just staring at one another. The look they shared spoke of some deep history and he almost felt bad for interrupting. Even so, he was curious to hear the rest of the story.
A waiter came by to take their orders.
“After that,” Maud continued, “I asked her to dinner the next day.”
“This mare of yours is quite the charmer. After a hard day’s work, we would spend hours just talking and reveling in one another’s company.” Trixie giggled at the memory, only to resume frowning. “If only Trixie had been in a better state of mind at the time, she might not have been so…” She waved her hoof in search of the right words.
“Obsessed,” Maud finished.
Trixie flinched. This subject was exactly the sort of thing she’d been hoping to avoid. Thankfully Maud was keeping her word to let the unicorn tell her story in her own time. “A fair enough explanation. You see, Trixie simply couldn’t stop thinking about this one mare she’d been blaming for Trixie’s predicament and, well, it really brought down the mood.”
“I wish I’d stuck with you, though,” Maud said. “I could have helped you with your problem.”
Trixie brightened at the mare’s words. “Trixie appreciates the sentiment, but your parents were right. That was something Trixie needed to work through on her own. Now she’s made amends with this mare, all is forgiven, and Trixie’s show is back and better than ever. And as an added bonus, three weeks ago Trixie spotted a certain familiar mare in her audience.” She wagged her eyebrows at Maud.
“I couldn’t take my eyes off her,” Maud interjected. “We’d talked about it before, but seeing her show was something else. Never in all my years had I seen magic used for such spectacle.”
Trixie giggled a bit. “Yes, well, Trixie was beginning to have her suspicions as the show went on. Each time there was a pause to allow the audience to announce their approval, Trixie would inevitably find herself staring at this entrancing gray mare. It proved terribly distracting as Trixie repeatedly caught herself thinking about this mare instead of focusing on her act.”
“Sorry again,” Maud said. “I didn’t mean to.”
“Lier,” Gregory accused with a smirk and turned to Trixie. “Trust me when I say this mare is never sorry to be a distraction.”
“Well that explains a lot,” Trixie said as she and Gregory shared a laugh. “In any event, the show concluded and Trixie managed to meet up with this mare once more. This time it was Trixie who asked her out, for old time’s sake. We must have spent half the night catching up,” she sighed in fond remembrance. “After that, we just sort of picked up where we left off.”
“I’d say we didn’t actually pick up until a week later,” Maud corrected flatly, earning an extra flustered look from Trixie.
Gregory glanced between the two mares until it clicked in his head. “You didn’t…”
“Didn’t what?” Trixie asked.
“Have sex,” Maud answered flatly, fixing her gaze on Gregory. “And yes we did.”
Trixie tilted her head in confusion. “Of course we did,” she stated matter-of-factly. “We’re two mares courting. Why wouldn’t we?”
Maud raised a hoof. “This is a culture gap issue,” she explained to Trixie. “Humans are monogamous, so they spend a lot more time courting to make sure they’re compatible with their lovers. Also,” she turned to Gregory, “I thought we already discussed that part.”
Gregory pursed his lips at Maud. “We did, but I guess I’m still coming to terms with my lady having a thing for other ladies. That’s just not the sort of thing that’d happen on earth.”
“Oh,” Trixie nodded in understanding. “Well, in Equestria, we understand that everypony has needs, and so are much more open about fulfilling those needs,” she lectured like a professor to her students, only to break character and succumb to a fit of giggles. “To surmise for a public audience,” she glanced around, “let us say that it was a highly satisfying experience all around.”
“Agreed,” Maud said flatly, though her tail had a slight wag to it.
Dinner was delivered. Gregory had a shrimp quesadilla, because fish was part of the pegasi’s diet and deemed socially acceptable for general consumption. Maud had something impronounceably French sounding which just looked like a simple brown soup that she dropped a moderately sized rock into… for flavor. Trixie had a simple carrot soup. The trio began eating as conversation continued.
“Speaking of which, Trixie is most intrigued to learn more of humans.”
Gregory had been waiting for this. “Why don’t you tell me what you’ve already heard and we can go from there.”
“Very well. Forgive Trixie if she sounds ignorant, for she knows she’s relying primarily on rumor.” She cleared her throat. “Humans hail from the world of Earth, which holds a striking similarity to Gaia, where we are now, in terms of geography. You have continents, deserts, oceans, and all the same biomes. However, your lands are terribly wild, with nature tending to itself and having a terrible tendency of being harsh with those who trespass.”
“All good so far,” Gregory agreed.
Trixie puffed out her chest proudly. “As for humanity, you are a race of contradictions. Your history is layered with many great pacifists and just as many warriors. You still had slavery until not too long ago, just as the tribes of old before the Exodus. At the same time, so many of you champion the notions of freedom and self-determination. You are also frightfully aggressive with your ideals, willing to kill in the name of peace.”
Gregory scowled and Maud rubbed his hoof beneath the table. She knew this was going somewhere uncomfortable, but wanted to see how these two dealt with it on their own.
“Not that Trixie has any intent of passing judgement for such things,” the mare insisted. “Humans are without magic, so it would be most unfair of Trixie to pass judgment for how your race had to struggle in such a harsh environment. Carrying such prejudices, especially judging an individual for the deeds of their distant ancestors, is the sort of backwards thinking that led to the Exodus in the first place. Given Trixie’s own past,” she murmured, “she especially is in no position to pass judgment on the handsome stallion before her.” She finished, meeting Gregory’s eyes with a hopeful look.
Gregory sighed in relief. “Not to pass judgement of my own, but you, my dear,” Gregory gestured to Trixie, “just exemplified what makes ponies so awesome.”
Trixie’s cheeks colored darkly. “T-truly?”
Gregory nodded. “So I think I’ll follow your example and not judge the pretty blue unicorn for whatever might have happened in the past. If Maud says your past it, then Gregory believes her.” Maud gave a subtle smile. “Besides,” he sniffed, “Gregory likes the smell of Trixie’s perfume.”
Blinking, Trixie snapped her head to face Maud. “Your stallion certainly has a way with words,” she tittered.
“He has his moments,” Maud sighed appreciatively, glad that these two were getting along. A semi comfortable silence followed as the trio ate until Maud remembered something Trixie had once mentioned. “Trixie. Didn’t you once tell me that you liked video games?”
“A bit of a guilty pleasure,” Trixie admitted. “Trixie travels a lot, but she always makes time for the local arcade if the town has one.”
“I actually haven’t been to any arcades,” Gregory said with a smile, happy at the common ground. “But I have a friend with her own Neigh Station. We game almost every day.”
“Only almost?” Maud asked with a hint of judgement in her tone.
“Human games, actually,” Gregory said proudly. “I played a lot back on earth, so I gave the descriptions to Neigh Station and they’ve been sending us the betas to test. I’m honestly impressed with how close they are to the originals. What are your thoughts on war games?”
“Pathetic,” Trixie said with a roll of her eyes. “Many have interesting concepts, like the queens disappearing and Equestria descending into civil war, but the executions are just weak. It’s like the game makers have never so much as been in a scuffle, or read a book on war.”
“Not a problem for us,” Gregory snorted. “This one game we’ve been playing a lot is set in the distant future where humans have colonies on many distant worlds. However, they’re under attack by a religious alliance of aliens bent on our extermination. The first game starts with a lone human ship, space ship,” he emphasized to Trixie’s wonder, “discovering an ancient alien artifact, an artificial ring world called Halo.”
Trixie had to shake herself back to full consciousness. “Now that’s a game, at least in theory. How does it play?”
“As one of the most successful and popular franchises of all time. You’ve got a variety of weapons and vehicles you can use. The different species of alien all behave differently, requiring different strategies for each. The environments are beautiful and dynamic, the characters are really interesting, and the plot has this twist about half way through which I once read was what elevated the game to its current status because of how compelling it was.”
“A plot twist?” Trixie asked eagerly.
“Want me to spill?”
“I… no,” she relented. “She shouldn’t. Trixie will play the game and discover this twist on her own time.”
“Not in an arcade you won’t,” Gregory added. “This kind of game is really best for a home console.”
“Foey!” Trixie pouted. “Those are just too expensive.”
“If you like, while you’re in town, I could ask my friend to let you play with us?”
Trixie’s ears perked up. “Really? That would be wonderful!”
Maud gave a soft groan, despondent that her new date was just as much a gamer as the old one. She hoped to have better luck with the next one, but begrudgingly counted this as a win. At least they’d found common ground.
The remainder of lunch was largely taken up with Gregory and Trixie talking about games, with the latter enthralled by what Gregory described. Maud tolerated it, glad for the bonding, though she wished they could talk about something else. Eventually she got her wish when Trixie started talking about the different kinds of crystals that went into making a Neigh Station console or an arcade game. Maud was all too happy to contribute her geological expertise to the conversation.
After dinner, Trixie led her dates to a large cart in one of the city forums. She welcomed them in where Gregory was impressed to find that the inside was noticeably larger than the outside. Trixie, pleased to impress, explained that it was a fairly common - if advanced - pocket dimension spell. It was a gift from Trixie’s youth that, after her family’s fall from grace, she had repurposed for her needs as a performer. The stallion was pulled from his fascination with the many gears and levers by Maud. Instead she had him join her and Trixie in the dressing room, where the blue mare went to great lengths to give her VIP guests an entertaining pre-show, mostly involving strip teases and rump shakes.
After finishing with last minute adjustments, Trixie’s cart opened up into a full stage with a considerable audience assembled out front. They cheered and nickered when Trixie appeared in a burst of smoke, followed by a flurry of fireworks. After a brief disclaimer that her show was strictly for entertainment purposes, Trixie began wowing the audience with tales of her fictional exploits, complete with intricate illusions to bedazzle and awe.
Maud and Gregory were no less enthralled from their spots in the front row.
“This part’s new,” Maud whispered and pointed at the illusion.
Trixie had just come to the part where she, the daring hero, had ventured into the cave of the ursa major to save a pair of kidnapped ponies. The illusion of the kidnapped earth mare struck what Gregory assumed to be a sexy pose at the sight of her savior, proclaiming her undying love as her ridiculously large teats bounced all over the place. The kidnapped unicorn stallion, his mane flowing with the same ethereal magic as the queens’ and a jaw that looked more chiseled than Blueblood’s, stood tall and valiant by the earth mare’s side as he offered words of encouragement; mostly regarding how sexy their savior was.
“Self-insert fanfiction,” Gregory whispered back at Maud. Even so, he couldn’t deny he liked the way Trixie made them look.
The battle with the ursa major was, admittedly, a little anti-climactic as hero Trixie vanquished it with a single spell. Gregory would have commented as much, had the illusions not pounced on one another in a flurry of cartoonish flailing body parts. While difficult to make out exactly what was happening, the sound effects left no doubt.
“Is this appropriate to show in public?” Gregory asked, gesturing to a little colt sitting atop a large stallion’s shoulders, as well as the fact that the stallion was starting to poke from his sheathe.
“Don’t worry,” Maud reassured, not tearing her eyes from the show for too long. “Everypony knows it’s just a show. Nothing’s happening, so there’s no harm.”
Concluding that Equestria, with its culture of clothing optional ponies, had never known the corrupting influence of anything like the Puritans or FCC, decided to roll with the punches and just enjoy the show.
The show wrapped up and satisfied customers filed in an orderly manner up to the stage where they deposited their payment. Apparently Trixie’s show was free and the audience was encouraged to pay only if she gave a satisfying performance. After the last happy customer offered her donations, Trixie was met with embraces from her dates, congratulating her for a fine performance. In the end, they parted ways in silent agreement that the date had gone well.