I – I've Never Kept a Diary Before

I Didn't Mean to Kiss Scootaloo
A story of change, written fearfully by B.

"I've Never Kept a Diary Before"

Change never frightened me until recently.

It's the reason why I'm writing this. Why I’m in the basement of the library, the doors chained shut, all to keep everyone away for just a little longer. The past few months have been like a blur, but the events responsible for changing me stand out, even if I didn’t fully comprehend them at the time. I’m going to do my best to document them here, so that I may better understand my hazy feelings on them, and give me the understanding I need to make a choice.

I should be able to cover the big stuff, but not the smaller details, should two fillies succeed in breaking down the doors and tearing my scales apart. In case that happens before I finish, then I would like to make the purpose of this paper clear, for you.

This is the story of how I got my wings, grew taller than those I used looked up to, watched hopelessly as my relationships began to shift, and became the center of attention for once—something I always wanted but hated upon having.

This is also the tale of how I met my best friend, and how we both learned to fly.

Scootaloo, if you’re reading this, then there's something I have to say. I never meant to hurt you, to steal something so precious from you. That kiss between us, it was because of some strange accident, but that doesn’t excuse how I just...ran away. You deserve the truth, to know my side of the story, what my honest thoughts and feelings were, but before I begin, there’s just one thing I need to tell you.

This was all the turtle’s fault.

The incident that created this whole mess happened a few months back, when I was still the number-one assistant to Twilight Sparkle, as we were still living together inside the Golden Oaks library at the time. My world was still normal then, waking up to cook for Twilight and me, cleaning around the library and sneaking in time for comics, hanging with the girls whenever I was allowed, and helping save the world once or twice.

My contributions tend to be a bit overshadowed by the accomplishments of the girls, but that’s never really bothered me, as there’s not much a baby dragon can do to be remembered. I mean, my biggest accomplishment in life is falling from a tower, and saving the day after being chucked like a spear by a Princess.

Just as long as I can be near the girls, to bask in the qualities that make each of them great in their own way, and even be acknowledged by them from time to time...that was always enough for me.

That is, until the day it wasn’t.

It was a late into the evening when it happened, with enough sunlight from the windows to still illuminate the dust on the library's shelves—the last chore to be done. I remembered my body on autopilot while my mind was alive with thought, as I gazed outside to where the girls were gathered.

They had looked so cool. Here were these awesome mares who just so happened to be the Elements of Harmony, though were always humble about it in the end—and yes, I even mean Rainbow Dash in a way. They were heroes that never wanted to be treated as such, while I would have probably basked in the glory.

Not only that, but the girls had proven themselves more than just elements. Each of them had dared to follow their dreams, facing each adversary head-on even when their flaws were put in front of them. That’s the things about the girls: they always try to improve upon what they think is wrong, while I would just grumble and complain.

But even if the girls weren’t the Elements of Harmony, even if they failed in their dreams, and even if they hadn’t saved the world, they would still be loved then as they are now. And that is because of the simple fact of who the girls are.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Twilight and Rarity. There’s something great in each of their personalities, something that draws others towards them, something I always wished I had.

Personality. Dreams. Talent. The girls always had everything they needed to become anything they wanted, something that I don’t think is true for everybody, especially myself. My personality was never as interesting or cool as theirs, no matter how much I tried to act like it was.

It was then that I realized what was missing. As I dusted the shelf inside the library alone and watched the girls have fun outside together, I knew that I didn’t compare, especially when they became a single group.

It seemed all I was good for in life was cleaning up and taking notes. A dragon like me should stay out of the way, and be thankful whenever the girls choose to bring me along.

But was that really all my life was going to be about? Admiring everypony else from inside a dusty library? All my choices in life had resulted with me still inside the library, and everypony else outside.

What would have to change for me to become like everypony else?

It seemed like everypony was changing. The girls always were, from becoming a Princess to joining the Wonderbolts—there was always room to improve with them. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had turned from fillies to young mares almost overnight, each bearing a striking resemblance to their mentors yet still their own ponies. And of course, like everypony else, they had to look down to make eye contact with me.

Why did everything change for everypony else? What did I have to do to have my growth spurt?

Was I doomed to forever be this inept baby dragon? To annoy ponies and try to not get in the way of others? Countless times I thought I’d found the answer to being great, by trying not to care and acting like the six would, but those ideas would come down crashing the very next day.

Because I did care too much. Because, no matter how much I wanted it to be so, I was not the girls. I was Spike the baby dragon, and it seemed that there was nothing around me that could change that. No pony’s advice would change that; not even my thoughts would change that.

Was it so bad to want to become a dragon that could stand not behind, nor ahead, but next to the greatness of the girls? To stand on the same merits as they did, continuing to improve ourselves together.

In the end, I would do anything to become my own dragon, and in a way, I got my wish that late evening. I wanted that change happening around me to happen to me finally, only to realize that it had to come out of me first.

Quite literally, in fact.

I felt my spine snap. My claws opened upon the sudden impact as the feather duster dropped to the ground. My eyes burned before I was aware I was even crying, finding out the horrible reason why a second later. The muscles in my back were stretching beyond their limits and tearing themselves apart, feeling though as something sharp was being pushed out from within them.

My eyes shot over to my wrist, enlarging ever slowly, as something was cutting at my every vein. I don’t know if I screamed at the pain, but I remember trying to call to the girls, to Twilight. The pressure in my back reached its horrible apex as it felt like blades shot out just below my shoulders.

Liquid splattered out of me, tainting the wood of the library with my agony, as I fell to my knees under the new alien weight. Then there was blood. My blood. Pooling around my feet and spreading in size.

Why was this happening? How was I still alive?

My vision became blurry. I raised the heavy weight that was my claws to my eyes one final time, seeing my light purple scales blur into an inky darkness, before I fell face forward into my own mess.

Twilight was going to be so mad at having to clean up after me.

Before my eyes closed against the growing pool, I heard my name called amongst the incessant ringing in my ears—my body now light and hollow as I no longer felt any pain...or anything else for that matter. My eyes then slipped closed just as six shadows hovered over me; my last act of consciousness was to smile for them.

I knew there was nothing they could do for me.

Spike the baby dragon was already gone.

I don’t know what happened to my body after that. I remember being asleep for a very long time—days, weeks, maybe even months passing me by. It was almost like I had died, that is, until I was brought back to life in a very strange dream.

My eyes opened to a current of wind cutting into me, its sudden whipping howls causing me to stumble backward on the strange flat plane. It took me a few moments to adapt to the change, squinting my eyes in order to see the world around me, only for them to widen in surprise.

The distant horizon looked like something straight out of a painting, a mixture of the darker shades of gold, surrounding me in a cavernous way.

A black mist layered the ground. Small wisps of the stuff danced upwards, swaying ever so slightly with the winds. Some of them even looked like tendrils, slithering through the air, before lightly wrapping themselves around my ankle.

I’d never felt anything so cold before. I quickly shook them off, breaking them back into mist in the process, only for more to sprout from its place. I left the strange things behind and moved towards the center of the space.

As I pushed through the winds, stepped through the mist at my feet, I couldn't help but be overcome by the surreal atmosphere. A familiar sensation began to creep down my back. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been here before, in a similar type of dream long ago.

Soon, after a few moments of walking, the center of the sphere was before me. I stopped in place as something formed above me, and by the time I looked up, dark clouds had gathered over the center.

The wind then intensified ten-fold. Light began to shine above me, dimly emitting from within the particles of the black clouds, before shooting down like some sort of beam. The mist it landed on vanished upon contact. Inside the halo, its chamber looked so warm and inviting, while the winds continued to cut into me out here. The mist did not intrude into the light.

Against the pressure of the winds, I continued forward. Tendrils wrapped around my ankle again, tighter, as if they knew my desire, yet I broke them off with my every slow step forward. I knew I couldn’t stop, that hesitation would allow more of them to wrap around me, trapping me to forever wallow in this strange realm of nothingness.

Then, just like that, the weight holding me back vanished. The winds became soft as I finally made it to the glow before the chamber. I chuckled with relief, taking a moment to catch my breath, and gazing past the thin wall of light that separated me from inside the halo.

I became aware of a shadowy figure inside of it, small and unmoving. It began to move towards me, causing me to retreat a few steps, but I stopped when I started to feel the storm again, looking back to see that the strange place had grown darker.

I gulped and turned back, looking for the figure, until I heard someone clear their throat. I looked down.

A baby dragon stood before me, with purple scales and green spines, barely taller than my hip. Just like that, I realized my body felt different now than it did before this. Ever so slightly, I pulled my claw back from my eyes, examining the the darker purple scales that clung to it.

The baby dragon coughed into his claw again, gaining the attention of my peripheral view as he began to speak. His voice was like an echo.

“What took you so long?!” he said, raising his claws into the air as he stared up at me. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you? I get that the whole ‘sudden transformation’ may put you out of commission for a little while, but can you try thinking about others for once?”

I blinked rapidly as my mouth hung open, then, sound escaped from it. “Huuuh?”

“Gross!” The baby dragon waved the air around him while his other claw pinched his nose, turning his head away from me. “You’re lucky we’re in here, or else that breath would have killed the others.”

It seemed like I only had one way of expressing my confusion as I bent closer to him. “Huuuuh?”

His claw then slapped me across the cheek. “Seriously dude. Quit it!”

I rubbed my cheek just as he began to walk around me, until we were standing side by side, only I was still facing the beam, and he, the black storm. Silence reigned between us, only broken by sporadic whipping of the wind, as I finally rose to my full height.

I’m not sure how long we stood like that. My vision allowed me to look over at him, to the baby dragon that I was supposed to be, leaving me to wonder who and exactly what I was at the moment.

Baby Spike sighed. “Feels weird, doesn’t it? You and I, together somehow, for the first and last time—I wouldn’t be surprised if others thought you were my older brother.”

The winds howled again as my gaze never left him.

“But, of course, we’re not brothers, are we?” Baby Spike raised his head, staring off into the storm I couldn’t see. “Though I suppose I hold most of the hallmarks of a younger brother. I easily annoy others, want things only you’re now able to get, compare myself to you and feel inferior, have cruddy humor, and worry about the instincts you always feared.”

He nodded at the storm just a few feet away. “Repressing your greed in order to stop your growth—really didn’t work out in the end, did it? Not many dragons had to go through a sudden growth spurt like this, though, I suppose none of them got to say goodbye to their childhood like this either.”

I turned away from the light to face him. “Who...who are you?”

Baby Spike turned his head to looked up at me, body still facing the storm. “I am you, but you’re not me; at least, not anymore.” He drew a deep breath, closing his eyes. “It must have been a fun childhood, with memories you’ll never forget, but now’s the time to move on, Spike.”

“Move on?” I repeated, about to bend my knee, so we were on equal eye contact, but he shook his head at the gesture. I remained standing. “To where?”

“Somewhere better than here,” he said with a heavy voice, his eyes reopening, and his lips finally smiling. “You can only remain the same for so long before you begin to destroy yourself. You gotta move on to the next level.”

I let out a breath, before lightly shaking my head in frustration. “I still don’t get it.”

“Some things never change,” Baby Spike said with a chuckle, before his expression became serious. “But that’s what you were wishing against that landed you here. You’ve resisted change because you feared what it might do to you, until you finally realized just how much you needed it.”

My eyes trailed away from him. “I wanted to be more than what I was.”

“Exactly, but that’s not possible without change,” he said. “You had what it took to admit you needed to change, and now all pieces are in motion, but you’re still being held back—by your immaturity that pushed others away, by your cowardice that stopped you from doing what you needed to do, by your childish flaws that you need to outgrow.”

I felt something tug at my leg. I looked down to find him, standing directly before me, as we faced each other again. The light reached me just as the storm reached him.

“I am the thing that’s holding you back,” he said with a bittersweet smile, looking up to me, “I’m the thing you need to say goodbye to in order to move onwards.”

I shook my head. “But...what happens if I continued onwards?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno what happens on the next level—never been there before. What I do know, is that you have to leave me and this storm behind if you go.”

An electrifying sensation caused my right claw to clench at the words. I was overcome with the urge to bow, to lower myself, to somehow close the distance between this baby dragon and me. I felt taller, bigger, and most terrifying of all, better than the baby dragon before me.

“I don’t understand why I should leave you, then,” I said as I stood at my full height,, though I refused to raise my head and break eye contact with him. “There’s no reason to go to this next level if it means leaving you behind.”

“You’re not leaving me behind though.” The baby dragon said to me, casting a glance to the chamber he had left, with me doing the same a beat after. “It’s impossible to leave behind a part of who you are. All you’re doing is letting go of who you used to be, and discovering what awaits you next.”

I didn’t have anything to say. I simply looked back to the chamber that was meant for me behind that thin wall of light.

The black mist was pressing towards us now, I knew it, for it was slowly dimming the light we stood upon, but for whatever reason, he didn’t look scared. All Baby Spike did was glance at me one final time over his shoulder.

He turned back to the storm.

“We’ve already made promises we couldn’t keep, jokes we shouldn’t have made, choices we shouldn’t have done, and prices we were too cowardly to pay.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or the abyss; I listened anyway. “So no more words. Whatever you choose to do, whatever you wish to become, I’ll only believe you once you’ve made a choice and carried it through, not by what you say.”

The end of the dream was here. My other self stared into the nothingness without fear, while I shivered and looked to the warmth of the thin walls of light. I then made my decision, one that required courage and I knew to be right.

I felt like a coward anyway.

I stepped past the walls and into the chamber, overcome with warmth and concealment away from the storm. The ringing in my ears ceased as my body no longer felt hollow; as if being filled. For a moment there was peace, before the chamber lost all gravity and I began to float upward into the shining light.

I flailed at first, shooting my claws in every direction to reach for something, but nothing could stop me from ascending. My eyes then fell upon the world outside my heaven, the little dragon flashing me one last smile, before falling forward into the nothingness.

I never saw his body again as the storm took him. As the lights blinded my vision, I could swear that the storm had finally ceased, and the nothingness returned. I looked back to the blinding light I was being raised towards, and when my body had merged with it…

...my eyes finally opened for the first time in a long while.

Beep.

Something beeping.

There was something beeping, somewhere from the left of me. My eyes cracked open, pupils made sensitive by the darkness of a long sleep, momentarily blinded by the light hanging over my bed.

Everything was blurry. My body ached. Dim sunlight filtered through the window to the right of me. I took my first conscious breath; it felt more like a gasp for air.

Where was I?

Then, there was a voice, its humming filling the air as I heard pages flick. My muscles loosened on learning I wasn’t alone in this white, sterile room, but I don’t think they knew their humming had brought me back to life.

Which is why I wanted to cry when the humming stopped. I turned my head left on the pillow, gazing out to the orange blur across from me.

“...please…” My vocal cords strained to produce the sound, ready to tear themselves apart, but wallowing like this in silence was a far more painful sensation. The orange blur squeaked as it shot upward, the chair scraping against the floor, as I could hear the sway of its mane as its head shot around...coming to rest upon me a moment afterward.

The blur landed back on the ground, as I forced myself to speak once again. “...keep...humming...”

It gasped. Hooves clopped. A door creaked open then shut.

I turned my head back; I was alone again.

It wasn’t so bad though, being alone. There was some noise to keep me occupied, like the sporadic hisses of the sun and the low sways of the ceiling fan. I tried to think but was too tired to do so. Just lying here, I was reminded of the library, how I would spend the afternoons cleaning in silence, just wishing someone else was there with me. I didn’t mind the silence; I just didn’t want to be alone.

A door swayed open in the distance.

“He totally spoke!” A voice said, apparently to another, as I heard every clop of her hooves, far more numerous than whoever she was talking to. “I was going through one those magazine, the boring ones that hospitals like to leave, when all of a sudden I heard him speak. I didn’t even know I was humming until he told me so!”

The other pony gave a huff as their voices grew louder. “Look, Scootaloo.” She took a breath. “I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, I really do, but trying to get somepony’s hopes up is just going to have the opposite effect.”

Scootaloo gave a huff of her own.

“C’mon, don’t give me that,” the other continued, the clopping of their hooves stopping just next to my bed. “Spike’s been out for almost a month, and it’ll probably be another before he’s even able to open an eye. That’s just the way it is.”

“But I’m telling you the truth, Twilight!” Scootaloo exclaimed her name, finally cause me to inch my head left to look at them. “I heard him talk!”

Twilight’s face hovered above the railings to my bed, her head tilted down by an inch, so she could look into the teenage mare’s eyes. It had been a while since I’d last seen Scootaloo, and seeing her now, almost as tall as Twilight almost frightened me—but not as much as the expression on Twilight's face.

There were bags under her eyes, bigger than I’d ever seen on her before, as they were blacker than any of the ones her late-night studying gave her. Patches of dirt marred across her lavender coat, like she had been sleeping on the floor, as her fur fuzzed upward from days unbrushed.

I’d seen Twilight study for a test the night before, spend a day dedicated to an assignment, a week obsessed over a task given by a Princess, and a month trying to finish some great, yet unfinished theory. I was always there for Twilight at her worst, yet I never saw strands of her mane shoot off into so many different directions before.

What could she possibly be so obsessed over that she end up like this?

The room started to become less blurry, my eyes blinking to adjust, before gazing past the two mares to the corner of the room, where a wall was supposed to be. I guess there was a wall, a wall of books stacked high enough to reach the ceiling...with a lot of dirt and dust gathered around it.

I still didn’t get it. Why would Twilight want to study in the same room as a comatose...dragon…

...oh no.

It all then came together, even though I wish it didn’t, as I knew why my body ached, and why her eyes were so red, with dried blood still stuck to her coat The corner of my eyes began to burn. I felt weak again, the world growing blurry once more, but I forced myself wake, just long enough to strain my vocal cords again.

“...Twi...light…”

The two faces froze in place, blinking at the sudden voice, realizing that the other hadn’t spoken. Then, their heads slowly turned towards me, until I was finally able to make eye contact with them, just as my eyes were slipping closed.

“...see?..not...dead…”

I passed out a moment later.

The ringing in my ears wouldn’t stop. I knew that some time had passed, but thankfully, it felt like only a couple hours at best. My eyes took a few flutters to get open, adjusting to the sudden light above my head quicker than before, as my vision lost most of its blurriness.

There were a few more faces in the room than last time. Twilight and Scootaloo stood on the right side of the bed, their mouths moving though I couldn’t hear anything. My gaze then shifted left, where a light brown unicorn was pacing left and right as he spoke back, the door to the room still open behind him.

He was saying something to the girls, something very important to him, but whatever it was caused Scootaloo’s face to scrunch up. Her upper body flew over the railings of my bed as she yelled something back at him, before she was gently pulled back by a lavender hoof.

Twilight smiled at the smaller mare, coming to whisper something into her ear, before losing that smile as she looked back to the doctor. Scootaloo could only huff, rolling her eyes at whatever the two were arguing about, before her gaze wandered down to me.

I think she was more surprised at making eye contact than I was.

Her violet eyes widened, never breaking our contact as we held our breaths. She stretched her hooves, one to tug on a lavender wing, the other to point at me. Twilight kept talking, too focused on the doctor to look away, until finally, after a few too many tugs, cut whatever she was saying in half, and looked to where the younger pony was pointing.

The aching in my body hurt less when our eyes finally met.

Twilight didn’t say anything at first, just standing there as we stared at each other in silence, not quite sure what to say or do. Then the tears came, the corner of my eyes burning, as I could see the same was true of her. Without wasting a second, she trotted to the head of the bed, raising up onto her hind hooves as she began to hover over me.

Her face filled my vision, her lips in a wobbly smile, before she closed her eyes and leaned closer to me. Her forehooves passed over my shoulders, hugging the back of my neck gently, as I felt her fur brush against whatever was covering my face. Her coat cursed whatever scales I had exposed above the blanket, but even then, it felt like something was covering me there as well.

I winced at the alien weight, something that she picked up on and immediately pulled back, much to my chagrin. I wanted to hold her close, to feel that I wasn’t alone, because, for the first time in a while, I was allowed to feel scared. Scared that I had almost died, of losing myself in such a surreal way, and waking up in a place I’d never been to before.

I just wanted Twilight to hold me close, for her to whisper that everything would be okay, and gently explain all that had happened while stroking my fins. I’d been wanting her to do that even before the incident, when I was silent about my dread.

My claw stirred underneath the sheets, trying to lift itself up so that it could wrap around her neck, and pull her close like how I needed her to be. But my body was too weak to even move an inch, and I was too scared to tell her what I really wanted.

So we stayed like that, even though I wanted more.

Twilight then lowered her lips next to my ear, maneuvering herself carefully around my bandaged body. She gave a shaky breath before speaking. “You don’t know how glad I am...to see that you’re okay.” Her voice cracked at the end.

I may not have been able to move my claw, but I could still clench it in anger. Seeing Twilight sad has always had that effect on me, because it felt like I had failed to assist her in the way she needed me to. But now, I was the reason why she was sad, why she worked herself to look so terrible—just what kind of number-one assistant does that?

I opened my mouth to speak, to make sure that she was okay, and not to worry about me because I would be okay. It’s funny, now that I think about it, then when it came to consoling others, I was no longer scared about myself. But before I could say any of this, a lavender hoof placed itself on my lips, as its owner pulled back to offer me yet another smile—not so wobbly this time around. “Try not to talk, okay? Your body is still adjusting to all the sudden changes, so please, just, relax, and don’t strain yourself with anything.”

I would have joked about how the tables were turned if I wasn’t deeply touched by her gesture. I simply nodded my head, something that caused her smile to become concrete, before pulling back her hoof. We continued to stare at each other, probably surprised at how different we now looked to each other, and just how much time had passed between us.

Then, almost with a frown, she turned around and faced the doctor.

“We’re going to continue this outside.”

The doctor sighed impatiently. The thing is, even though I wasn’t supposed to talk, I wanted to tell Twilight that he had been watching us, or rather, staring at every little movement that I made. Ultimately though, the doctor nodded in agreement to her suggestion, and Twilight began to walk to the door.

The doctor followed her a few steps, coming just before the door, before looking over his shoulder to glare at me. I still remember how his blue eyes reminded me of ice at the moment, with a gaze cold enough to make me shudder from underneath the blanket.

But that wasn’t even the worse part.

It felt like his gaze had ripped my blanket away, tearing off whatever it was that covered most of my body, and picked at everyone one of my scales until I was truly naked before his eyes. Then he looked deeper, to all the things I suppressed and hid, and exposed it all to himself.

I’ll never forget that look, the one he gave me after seeing deep into who I was. The doctor looked forward again, not surprised to find that the two mares on either side had been watching him, as he walked out of the room with his head still held high.

Twilight closed her eyes immediately afterward and shook her head, while Scootaloo crossed her arms and huffed, before the two became aware that my gaze was still focused in their direction. Their unpleasant expressions transitioned quickly into calming smiles.

“Hey, Spike?” Twilight said slowly, taking a step towards me. “There are a few matters I have to discuss with the hospital staff outside.” She phrased every word carefully, like she was worried she’d overload my brain and fry it. I know there was no way for her to know what my mental state was like, but being treated like a baby again kinda sucked.

If only I knew she was doing that for another reason.

“So try and grab some more shut eye, okay?” she said. “When you wake up, we might...have a few questions to ask you, but they’re only to make sure that you’re okay, alright?”

I tried to give her a nod, but my neck objected to any movement after that hug we shared. Twilight seemed to understand my intent anyway, flashing me a soft smile before she turned to leave.

Scootaloo began to trot behind her out the door, coming to a stop at its threshold. Then, she just stood there, unmoving, leaving in suspense. I half-expected her to just flash me a grin over her shoulder like how Rainbow Dash would, but what I got instead was infinitely better.

Scootaloo inhaled sharply, began to spin around, rose unto her hind legs, struck a hoof up as high as she could manage, and pointed directly at light of a ceiling bulb. She then offered me a grin, the likes of which I had never seen before. “Don’t sweat a scale, Spike! I promise that doctor will think twice before looking at you like some sort of monster.”

Monster? That word rang incessantly in my mind long after she left. It made me feel so empty and afraid, not at the thought facing a monster, but in becoming one. I had spent years denying my greed to the point I was repressing my very own growth, all in that fear of unleashing that monster inside me, as I had done so easily long ago. Was that what the doctor saw? A monster?

I tried clearing my mind and closing my eyes, but I don’t think any of that helped me fall back asleep.

“...Spike, are you still with us?...”

My eyes cracked open again, the whiteness of the room almost as blinding as the lights. No longer was there the warmth of sunlight bathing my body, causing me to see that the blinds to the window were for some reason pulled. It took a few moments to come to on my own, but when I did, I saw Twilight standing just to the left of my bed.

My gaze traveled past her, to where the doctor loomed in the back of the room, a guard standing on either side of him. For whatever reason, they stood at attention with arms in their hooves—something I’d never seen in a hospital before. I then became aware that Scootaloo was standing before the trio, almost yelling in their faces.

“What part did you numbskulls not understand? I already told you that he’s okay!” She drew a breath, butting her head into the annoyed face of the doctor. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s already talked to Twilight and me, so all this testing is just pointless!”

The doctor shook his head, causing the glasses he wore to slide down the bridge of his nose, before raising them back into place with a touch of his hoof. “That is not sufficient evidence to conclude that he is not already lost. You must understand, little filly, that if something other than your friend is lurking in that shell, that now is the only time to ensure that repeat will not happen.”

He had spoken with an air of finality, but, being Rainbow Dash’s disciple, Scootaloo continued to bicker at the anyway. My focus on them was pulled away by the soft hoof cradling my cheek, my eyes trailing along their length until I met eyes with Twilight.

“Still hanging in there?”

I cleared my throat to quell the burning sensation I felt there, before giving a nod of the head. That made her smile, but then, a moment after, she sighed. “This must all be pretty confusing for you huh?“

I didn’t need to nod for that one.

“If it’s any consolation, I’m... sorry, Spike, for not having a chance to explain any of this to you. Your incident entailed a lot of sudden changes, some of which not even I have my head around.” She placed her hoof on my limp claw, tracing along my forearm over the sheets. “We were so worried, that maybe, you had entered your hibernation early to make up for your stunted growth, but you should be glad to know that you were only asleep for only a month.” I wasn’t expecting for her lips to stretch into a grin. “And here I thought I had told you not to take long naps.”

I somehow managed a chuckle, which caused her to giggle with delight.

“Buuut I’ll let you off the hook just this once, mister,” Twilight ended the smile that suited her best, momentarily closing her eyes, before they burst back open in excitement. “Besides, that would subtract from the fact that your body has experienced it first natural growth spurt!” She couldn’t help but glee, eyes alight with that familiar mania of the studious, and I knew exactly who she was so excited to study.

That’s something I’ll always love about Twilight. I could be stranded in my own body with no idea who or what I am, and yet, Twilight can still assure me that some things never change. The thought alone gave me confidence, the will to do the thing I’d been dreading most since I’d woken up, and that was to find out what exactly what had become of my body since the incident.

With a painful gulp, my gazer carried downward, where I could see the outline of my body through the blanket. It hurt, but I was able to move my claw, just enough raise the blanket slightly, and peak inside…

...only to find a field of white bandages covering every scale on my body. I dropped my grip on the blanket with a huff, before my eyes settled on something I hadn’t quite believed—even when it was shown to me in that dream.

My feet were almost hanging off the end of the bed.

“Guess you weren’t lying about drinking your milk after all, heh.” The cheesy joke drew my attention back to her, finding that her faced lacked its former excitement. “The doctor...well, I suspect that you’re going through a dragon’s version of puberty, so you should expect some changes not only in your body, but in your mind as well.”

Twilight looked over he shoulder afterward, settling on the two that were still bickering in the back of the room. For just a second, I saw Twilight look incredibly sad about something, and I began to grow worried as well. Had something else changed while I was asleep?

Just as quickly as she turned away, Twilight was looking at me again with the faux excitement I knew far too well. “That’s why the doctor is going to ask you a few questions. I want you to answer them honestly, no matter what, and I promise that none of us will get mad, okay?”

The words were soothing, but that effect was ruined by the undertone. It was like it suggested I had some something horribly wrong. But I didn’t remember a thing since my supposed death—had I done something in my sleep that I didn’t remember?

I wasn’t given time to think about such things before Twilight rose from the stool she had been sitting on. She offered me this hopeful smile, one that seemed ready to break at any moment, before she turned around and walked towards the doctor, who stopped bickering with Scootaloo to exchange a few words with her.

Then, he looked in my direction, his gaze still as cold as ever, before he nodded to Twi and began walking towards me. He passed by Scootaloo, who was yelling something at him, though the two guards stood in her path.

The doctor then stopped before my bed, looking down at me from behind those glinting frames. “May I take a seat?”

Before I could even think to give him a nod, the doctor had already picked up the stool, let it scratched across the floor as he dragged it directly next to my bed, before sitting down on it. There was a hiss as his horn became alive with magic, a gray aurora manifesting atop the bedside table, levitating both a clipboard and a pen to his side.

“Let us begin...Spike.” He began to flip through the pages on the clipboard as the pen clicked into action. “It says on your admittance that you were found by your friends, lying in the center of a library with blood gushing out from your back, where you were then rushed straight away to the nearest hospital.” The clipboard floated left, allowing for us to make eye contact again. “Quite a spontaneous event to occur out from nowhere, wouldn’t you agree, Spike?”

I kept silent.

“Our understanding of dragon kind is still rather scarce, even in our day and age, as most ponies would agree. Hard to make a study of the very same creatures trying to roast you for a meal.” The pen scratched across the page as we continued to stare at one another. I hadn’t said or done anything yet, so I had no clue what he was writing about—or even what this whole thing was about.

And that worried me with the incessant fear that I had done something wrong, something that I didn’t mean to do. Why was I always screwing things up when I never meant to?

“Luckily for us ponies, however, we ended up finding a dragon to study upon, one that hadn’t yet brought us any destruction, a baby dragon named Spike.” My gaze traveled right of the doctor, back to the corner of the room, where standing behind the guards were Scootaloo and Twilight. Scootaloo was still snickering something under her breath, and when I attempted to make eye contact with Twilight, she gave me a sad look before turning away.

“It seems most of our knowledge on dragons stems from you. Numerous ponies, your Twilight included, have done studies on you, how a dragon acts and grows, their way of life among pony kind.” For whatever reason, his lips grew into a sinister smile, or maybe that was the way how he always smiled. “It may not feel as such, but pony kind is relying on you to make crucial assumptions on dragons, and we wouldn’t want for what they have to publish to be based on false material, do we?”

I looked back to him, clearing my throat. “I...guess?”

“Good! Very good,” he said, pen scratching against paper, for some reason reminded me of all the letters and lessons I had written for the girls, before the pen stopped. “Now, could you be so kind as to regale the moments before you collapsed? Any prominent thoughts or urges would be very useful to know of for our studies.”

Ever since I woke up, I’d been trying to not think about the contents of my dream, even more so for the event that kicked off the whole mess. My body was already aching all over, and I had no intention of inviting agony back into it. But the doctor's subtle glare told me I didn’t have a choice.

I sighed through the opening made for my lips, my vision fading to the memory of that day. “I remember walking home...the girls were in front of me...talking about how much the town had changed.” I inhaled deeply. “Of the buildings being constructed and torn down...of the fillies and colts, now mares and stallions...and how I was the only thing to have remained the same.”

It felt weird to have someone else write down what I was saying, even if it felt like they were going to use my own words against me. I had spent most of my life writing down the words of others, so was it so terrible to feel great that whatever I was saying was worthy of being put to paper? That my words had some sort of inherent value?

“I see,” the doctor said, pulling the pen an inch away from the clipboard, before glancing back to me. “Please, continue.”

In the background, I could see that Twilight turned her head back towards me, her eyes filled with silent questions. I knew that I had stirred guilt within her, something I didn’t mean to do, but didn’t have the time to quell. I turned my head away from her, away from all of them, as I stared into the light above my bed.

“Once we had made it back into the library, I decided to retire inside first—get an early start on my chores and all that—while the girls continued to chat about change outside,” I managed to get out, swallowing back the irritation in my throat. “I tried dusting around the library to get mind off the talks of change, but, try as I might, I couldn’t help but picture everything that was changing around me.”

The doctored snickered, yet as I glanced at him, it seemed he had done so more to himself than to me. My eyes drifted back upward as he began to talk. “A lack of change, or too much of it, is known to create resentment in ponies, maybe even more so in dragons. It can create an urge to sought after change...did any such urges become you?”

“A little,” I said, my body beginning to feel distant like it had the day of. “All I could do was think about how much I wanted to change, to become more, to become better, that the world became blurry as I lost control over my body.”

“That is quite alarming to hear indeed,” the doctor said, catching him inch backward in the corner of my eye. “Do you feel the same sensation as you talk to us now? Do you feel that your body is operating independently of itself; your mind a hostage to a particular numbness?”

My throat felt sore as my body shivered.

“Well?”

I blinked as I looked at him, he seemed closer than what my eyes were telling me.

“You two, come closer,” the doctor said, head turned towards the guards, both of which coming to either side of him a moment later. My heart leaped at their arrival, and I didn’t know why. “Keep a close eye on him. You know what to do should his restraints break.”

Restraints?

He turned his head back to me. “Now then, Spike, are you still with us?”

I wasn’t able to move my head, but my eyes looked up and down in conformation.

“Good. Now then, before you had collapsed, had there been anything on your mind?” he asked. “Had there been some thought you were struggling with? An image of a pony who had been getting on your nerves? Was there some emotion or sensation you were fighting to get rid of?”

“No,” the words came out as a pained groan as a sharp intake of air quickly followed. I didn’t understand why the room was starting to close in on me, why I had felt like I’d done something horribly wrong, and left with these strange ponies. “I was just...wanting something.”

The doctor slowly shook his head at me. “Oh no, that grieves me to hear.” He set his peg against his clipboard, looking at me more intently from behind his glasses. “You should know better than anyone that the desires of a dragon become the fears of the ponies. I’m sure you know the full affliction on ponies through the extent of a dragon’s greed.”

And then it clicked. My claws were bound by more than just bandages. How my legs were tied down to the bed. I thought my inability to move was to minimize the injuries to my joints, but it was to restrict any further damage I could to do to the town, again.

“You’re telling me...that my wanting to be better made me into a monster again!” I could feel my throat almost bleed in being used to shout once more, but I did not care, as I shook in my bed. “That by wishing to be more, I unleashed that side of me again!”

My bed began to tremble as a clenched my claws into my palm to delegate the pain. I felt a growl ravage my throat, though I did not care. The doctor leaped off from his seat and quickly backed from in-between the two guards.

“It was still a greed relapse all along!” he proclaimed in a shrill cry, pointing a hoof at me. The ends of the guard's polearms changed as they hit the floor. “He is losing control once more! Seize him! Seize him with whatever means it takes!”

The guards blew air through their nostrils, raising their arms into the air, and taking a stance that resulted with their blades pointed at my shaking body. I heard the cry of Scootaloo’s voice, and the hoofsteps of a Princess, but the sharp ends were already coming down upon me.

But that fact did not bother me so much. The one that did was how I had managed to destroy my home for the second time. How I had lost control of myself again, after swearing never to do so again. I’m not sure when I had begun to cry, but the thought that I had hurt those I hold dear once more made any further pain, even my death, all that much more bearable.

The blades never touched my scales. The stoic faces of the guards did something they were not supposed to do: they blinked. They blinked once more, and were frozen in place by a crying drake.

Twilight was quick to put herself between the weapons and me, extending out her hooves, and looking up to the two guards with a determined gaze. “I can’t believe you two would attack a defenseless dragon! By order of the Princess, I command you all to leave this room at once!”

The doctor gazed blankly back at her from the other side of the room, shaking the fear out from his head, before stepping forward with similar determination. “That dragon has the potential to be anything but helpless. Can’t you see that the dragon has progressed to the next stage of his greed, that one more stunt, and he’ll lay siege to this town once more, just as he did years ago!?”

Something hard gripped around Twilight’s arms. She gasped, feeling the pressure build, and turned around to see Spike holding her. There was a glint in his eye, one born from the fire within it.

For a moment, she looked just as worried as the doctor.

“Twi...Twilight?” I said her name as if I had hurt her in more ways than one. I lessened the grip of my claws as a torrent of tears poured from my eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt anypony...I didn’t mean to become a monster again...I never wanted to hurt this town again...I’m sorry I hurt you…”

I don’t know how many more apologies I wheezed out, and how many more I would’ve, had Scootaloo not thrown herself back into the scene. She too threw herself not in-front of the guards, but into them – pushing them back a foot. “Just what do you knuckle-heads think you’re doing!? Hurting a dragon who's already crying, just who do you think you are?”

The guards weren’t sure how to respond to the assault, much less the smaller mare’s words. They took a few steps backward, but she closed the distance between them.

“And don’t just say you were taking orders, because even if he were the doctor to prescribe the medication to save my life, I still wouldn’t do a thing he says.”

The guards blinked in confusion as the doctor flew forward from between them, his face hovering high above hers, though he stayed in their safety. “Just who do you think you're talking to little Missy? That dragon has been a threat in the past, and we must do all that we can to ascertain if he'll be one in the future!”

“Pfft.” Scootaloo dismissively waved a hoof. “This is Spike we're talking about here. The dude's a wimp!”

I was too lost in believing I had destroyed the town once again to notice the hit I had taken to my ego. Twilight was quick to fix a look over her shoulder at Scootaloo, who quickly winced upon feeling the weight of the gaze.

“I admit that the dragon is by no means close to others of his kind,” the doctor said, another blow I had failed to see at the time. I could only hope that Twilight fixed him a glare. “But there's always the chance he can relapse into his greed.”

“The dude said he'd never go greed mode again!” Scootaloo was quick to fire back. It was if as passion itself had overtaken her, as she looked so alive and so fierce as she stood her ground and stared up at the doctor. I'd be a fool to say that that passion was meant for me, I knew that she was just getting caught up in the moment, a moment that could have been directed to any other good cause. Still, my heart felt funny at the thought of her showing such passion for me. “And I'd believe it even if I didn't hear him say it! Seriously, it's impossible to get the guy anything for his birthday 'cuz the guy stopped accepting gifts!”

“So the dragon stops accepting gifts,” the doctor said, snorting, “and you think that's reason enough to absolve him of all suspicions? That there's no way, his current growth-spurt wasn't caused by his greedy nature?”

“I'm not saying it's impossible that's the case,” she said, shaking her head. “But I know that Spike would never bring harm to other ponies if he had a choice. Even if there was something he wanted, he knows better now than to turn into a greedy beast to get it.”

“I have to agree,” Twilight finally said as she began to leave my bedside. I still held onto her arm; I didn't want her to leave me. She flashed me a smile, shushed my sobs gently with her lips, and slipped out from my grasps, before turning to the others in the room. “This test was to ascertain whether my assistant possesses full control over his mental functions. At this point, I think we all know the answer to that.”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo said looked at Twilight, before turning to the others. “All your dumb test managed to do was make Spike think he had destroyed the town, again. Isn't that enough for one day?”

She turned and walked towards me. My sobs had died down in order to listen to the conversation at hand, though my vision was still watery. In a second, her orange body was clambering over my bed's railing and onto the mattress on which I laid.

Scootaloo looked down at me with a grin, and for a moment, I thought she was going to give me one of her signature platitudes. But then something odd happened. I took the extra moment to gaze into the features of her face, and it appeared she did the same to whatever wasn't hidden behind the bandages.

The overhead light of the room was naught but a shining halo eclipsed by her smiling face. I had seen her smile numerous times before, but there was something different about this one. It felt as though it was a smile meant for me and me alone at that moment. It was managed to soothe my whimpers and put to rest the shivers that lingered in my body.

Then her face came closer to mine.

It should as no surprise to the readers of this journal, that I, Spike, had never had a mare stare at me so intently — besides of course my mother and sister. So even as my mind was ravaged by the images of a burning town, my heart aching with those whom I had harmed, all that was coursing through me ceased at her closing muzzle.

And then, she lifted an orange hoof, and wiped away the tears underneath my eyes. She flicked them away. “There's no need cry and get sappy on us, Spike. You did nothing wrong.”

Her forehooves passed by either side of my head, carefully maneuvering themselves down my shoulders lest she provoked my wounds. Then, I felt her body pressed slowly against my bandaged one, yet I still felt her soft fur caressed my smooth scales.

I couldn't move my head, yet it still pressed against the crook of her neck. She didn't smell of anything in particular, but that I didn't mind, as feeling the rise and fall of her chest against mine painted a euphoric sensation that I'll never be able to describe.

She pulled back a little; her lips coming next to my ears. “Nothing happened Spike, nothing happened. You passed out, and there was a lot of blood, but everything is okay now.”

I tried to raise my arm to pull her closer against me, but my joints were still too weak. It was probably a good thing too, because I'm sure she would've objected. I was just glad to know that I hadn't destroyed the town again, that I wasn't in pain because I deserved it, and during the course of my recent loneliness, that there was still another pony who cared enough to console me.

I heard the voice resume from across the room.

“I'm not declining your request to do more work on him,” it was the voice of Twilight, tired and annoyed, like how I'd used to find her in the morning after a long study session. “But it's quite obvious that he's not a threat to himself nor other equines. I'm sure Spike will be willing to answer your questions if you phrase them a bit more nicely this time, but he still needs a few days to recover and process what has happened.”

The doctor furrowed his brow. “So be it.”

The three stallions turned away from the mare, trotting out of the room with one of their heads held high, before offering a departing message. “If anything vital comes out of his processing, you'll be sure to let us know, correct?”

The doctor turned around just as his horn lit in a gray glow, the same sphere of magic surrounding the handle of the door. “You wouldn't want us to be tardy in our status update to Celestia on her favorite dragon, do you?”

The door slammed shut, but I wasn't sure if it was the magic or Twilight's hooves that closed it first. Either way, she stared and slightly panted as she watched the silhouettes disappear from her view. At the same time, Scoots had jumped in shock to the sound, and her hooves brushed against something foreign upon my back.

I couldn't help but yelp, drawing the attention of both mares.

Scootaloo took a guilty look, releasing a guiltier chuckle. “Sorry.” Maybe it was because my grief had been stricken away, or perhaps it was because of the distant hoof-steps coming closer — Scootaloo's smile revered back to her trademark grin, and her hooves left my back.

“I guess I should have been more careful with your new additions.”

“...additions?”

Both mares at my bedside flashed me a grin. I felt another surge of pain through the alien objects on my back, trying my best to look over my shoulder at them, but my neck wouldn't budge an inch.

But I felt something there. Something that painfully protruded from my back and pushed into the mattress of my bed. I couldn't quite say what they were, but it felt almost like bones had popped out from my back.

Finally, they threw me into the loop. Scootaloo unfurled her wings, gave a slight flutter, before hovering in the air around my bed. I had almost forgotten she could now fly, and that her wings were not that of a chicken.

“It was so cool that my wings grew just in time with my growth spurt,” she said, slowing down by Twilight's side, before landing on the sterile ground with her hooves. “I don't think I could imagine riding that scooter around everywhere. Just like how I don't think you'll be able to ride Twilight's back anymore.”

My mind had been too preoccupied with my grief to even focus on myself. My eyes gazed down the length of my body, or at least as far as the wrapped bandages went, and notice indeed I wasn't close to the height I was before my slumber. I looked at Twilight, who merely shrugged her shoulders, then giggled.

“But maybe if you're super nice,” Scootaloo began, “Rainbow Dash will show you the ropes and get you off the ground. You're probably at that age where you should be getting at places by yourself anyway.”

I still wasn't getting it. Why would I go to Rainbow Dash for anything but flying? Then the idea struck, and I tried flexing the odd objects upon my back, and felt them unfurl just a tiny bit. The sensations made perfect sense, though I didn't want to get my hopes up.

The two seemed to pick up on my surprise.

“That's right, now I'm not the only chicken that learned out to fly!” she exclaimed, looking at me with excitement twinkling in the corner of her eyes.

“So hurry up and heal up — I wanna see what your wings are like underneath all those bandages!”

II – I've Never Been Called Attractive Before

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~ II ~

“I've Never Been Called Attractive Before.”

Days passed by slowly from inside my hospital room. I'd wake up to the nagging beats that let me know my heart was still pumping, eat, and do what was left instructed on the table next to me—so no real difference from living with Twilight (kidding, just kidding). And of course, to suffer through the endless stream of ponies that my nurses were proud to call my visitors.

The usual suspects were there, six mares often filling the space around my bed. Each of them had their own different opinions and reactions to my sudden change and growth. Twilight was often busy studying my charts and pondering the mystery that was me—which I'll delve into later—while Dash spoke of how cool it was how much a dragon could bleed. I guess she was the one that cleaned up my mess back at home.

Applejack was quick to send a hoof flying across the back of her head. She told me that to survive such a transformation requires lots of resilience, and that I should be proud of myself. Of course, Rarity was quick to smolder the bandages around my faces with faux kisses as she told me how much of a brave Spike-Wikey I was, though I'll admit, I didn't feel any affection in return.

I don't think anyone found it surprising that Pinkie wanted to throw a party upon my release, or that Fluttershy was too busy adjusting my bandages to my liking and assuring that I had taken all of my medication for the day. I felt more like one of her injured pets, and the fact that we were of different species didn't alleviate that thought.

Back then, and still, even now, it was weird to have the girls surrounding me. That they were only in this room because they wanted to see me, that everything they had to talk about was about me, how their eyes would glance to me, and how I was now the center of their group rather than it being the usual other way around.

There would have been a time I would have killed to have risen to the same level of the girls, instead of just being the tag-along, annoying little brother. But too much had happened since I went under; I was no longer the same drake that fell asleep when I woke up. The slew of visitors, compiled mostly by those who knew the girls and the minority that cared enough to visit me were quick to point this fact out as well.

I could hear their surprise after they placed their gifts on the table of quickly building presents. They would wheel around, look at my larger form, and gasp at how much I had grown. That even with the bandages gone, I had lost so much of my baby fat, and grew what looks like to the same height of a pony—maybe even taller.

I'd always tried to thank them for their words, as I did my best to assume that they were just, in-fact, compliments, only to hear them gasp again. I swear it was the mares that would gasp the most at how much my voice had changed—how much deeper it had gotten since before, how my weak slurs added a little darkness to the tone.

I had absolutely no clue what they were talking about. I had been too weak to notice that my voice had changed really, and apparently, Twilight wanted to conceal my changes and slowly reveal them as to avoid overriding my mind. When word broke that I knew, Dash was quick to tell me how cool it sounded—a high compliment from her, I suppose, and Rarity saying how careful I should be with it with a wink.

Had these changes been revealed to the Spike before me, I think he would have had a heart attack. I, however, felt nothing upon such a great revelations being made to me. And that fact served, in the end, to make me feel something, guilt. It felt as though I was becoming the drake that I always wanted to become, that life was finally going to progress forward from here, yet I didn't feel any excitement or anything of the kind.

In fact, I just felt like I was getting ponies hopes up. It seems like ponies were finally taking notice of me like how I always wanted, placing expectations on this drake that I was looking like I was going to become, though this only served to frighten me.

Because I had woken up to forget who I was. At the present moment, I was but a mere vessel of potential, but I had no clue who I really was or will be, and I felt like I was lying to these ponies. There was nothing I could do about it, of course, and part of my writing this is to figure out my feelings.

But now that I think about it, some other pony already helped me do so. I failed to mention that there was a face more frequent than the most, at my side far longer than the girls stood around my bed, and would talk to me instead of stating how different I seemed. That pony, of course, was Scootaloo. She would swing by almost every day after school, talking about pointless things that I still enjoyed nonetheless, and I would help her with her math homework until the sun began to dip.

One particular day, however, we did something more than just math.

At two o'clock every day for the past two weeks, there would come a knock at my door, and the sight of a blurry, orange face behind the pane of glass. It no longer stung my throat to speak as I told her to enter, and a few moments later, the teenage-mare was dropping her bag to the floor and hopping up on the chair next to my bed.

“So how's it going today, buddy?” She grinned at my appearance as her body slid fully into her seat, blowing air from her lips upward to move the purple strand of mane that had been hovering over her right eye. “Any update on when the docs can rip those bandages off? Or if we're allowed to steal a sneak peek at the wings you're packing on your back?”

I chuckled as a smile split apart my lips. “Nothing like that will be happening for quite some time.”

She lost her grin immediately.

“...buuut my joints don't ache as much!”

“Heeey! Way to go buddy, progress!” She couldn't help but to strike a hoof upward into the air, her pose captured by the weak rays of light descending from bulb above us. I couldn't help but chuckle at her confidence she held and the energy she radiated—it reminded me of another pegasus I knew. After a moment, she fell back into her seat with an exhale. “That means less work for us as well.”

Despite my voice growing deeper, I could still how weak my next word sounded. “Huh?”

“We were worried that you were going to grow, like, another foot and a half! Do you know how much work it would be to lift you into a bigger bed?” Her head tilted into thought. “We'd have to be super careful 'cause Twilight referred to you like glass at one point, so we couldn't just like flop you from one bed to the other—could you imagine all that work?”

A comment like that should have irritated me, but for whatever reason, I only found a light stream of chuckles slipping past my lips. “Heh, I guess sprouting wings also means putting on a few more pounds.” A thought struck me, one that I had been pondering for the past week. “Hey, Scootaloo? Is it okay if I, y'know, ask you a question?”

She looked at me confusingly for a moment before shrugging her shoulders. She then bent to lean off the side of her chair to dig through the contents of her backpack. “Sure. What's on your mind, Jack?”

“When it comes to helping me out, you said we.” I couldn't help but look away as my throat began to choke on itself. I was glad for one to have bandages concealing the features of my face. “That just made me curious as to why you're, y'know, helping me out and all that other jazz. Don't you have, like, better things to do and stuff?”

I may have had a deeper voice, but that never seemed to stop me from sounding like a complete idiot. A giggled sounded out from across me as the shifting inside her bag ceased.

“You make it sound like visiting you is a bore.”

“Isn't it?”

Her head popped out of the bag, mane swaying in tandem with the jerky movement as her eyes blinked twice. “I guess? I don't mind it though.”

“And why is that?”

Scootaloo turned back towards me, grinning her signature grin as she tossed the papers she had been holding in her hooves upon the table hovering over my bed. The booklet landed with a flop; its familiar cover was causing me to roll my eyes playfully.

“I gotta get this crud done anyways, here or at home.” I heard the chair she sat on scrape against the ground, the metal bars of both my bed and the chair clinking as they came together. “If I get it done here, that means I get a crazy awesome tutor, and keeps you from going into the deep end of boredom. Totally a win-win if you ask me.”

I couldn't help but agree as I rose a claw to open the booklet. I saw my arm enter my vision, the bandages the completely concealed my invalid scale stealing a hard exhale from my chest. I began to stare, the back of my claw begging to shake from being held on its own, as I exerted myself to turn my palm towards my eye.

Even that was concealed from me. I began to stare into the overly white bandages, almost begging to pant from the exertion of keeping the hand alleviate as I simply could not look away. My eyes began to drift over the course of my body, all of it wrapped tightly underneath layer of bandages meant to keep me stable, yet I knew nothing of that which was hidden beneath them.

Even though that was the rest of me. Of what I had become, grown into, changed into. All seemingly hidden from my eyes by a layer of whiteness, confusing not only to myself, but a great mystery upon those that gazed upon me. It didn't help that I bled into a new growth by some mysterious means, and how I wasn't entirely comfortable awakening to a hospital room.

I felt so different from before I had passed out, and it didn't help that I had no clue what I looked like now—like I had left my previous identity behind only to have my new one obscured from me. Just who was this Spike I had become?

“Uh, Spike?” came the concerned voice next to me, but I wasn't so easily drawn away from my palm. “You doin' alright over there?”

I gave a breath before quickly flipping the booklet open to whatever page she was currently on. “Yeah. Just, got lost in thought I guess.”

I could feel her gaze upon me, making my body going stiff as she spoke. “Oh yeah? What you got on your mind that's making you have a staring contest with your claw?”

Her tone was joking, but when I glanced at her face, I could see her concern. Scootaloo had already been there for me more than anyone else—which was weird since we weren't exactly close before I passed out—so I didn't want to creep her out with my edgy thoughts. “Well, uh, it's about you again,”

Her orange ears perked as a knowing smiled graced her lips. “Oh? You got another question, Jack?”

“Actually, I do.” I tried to shift in my bed, only groan. “Before I woke up, I had this bizarre dream—one that I'm not quite sure actually happened. But, as I was waking up from this strange dream, the first thing I heard was this beautiful humming, and then my eye opened to you sitting across from me.”

“Ohhhhh, that.” Scootaloo slumped to one side of the chair, her mane once again getting in the way of her eye. “When word first broke that you had a bit of a bloodbath, Twilight went around asking for ponies to stay with you as you slept. I guess they were worried you would wake up after what had happened and have a panic attack 'cause no one was there to explain what had happened.”

“I guess the girls had too much going on to keep a constant watch on me.”

“Something like that,” she said. “Anyway, they enlisted the CMC and some of the ponies at my school to sit by your side, so I'm not the only one 'ya still gotta thank. It just so happened I was the one to be humming and flicking through a magazine when you first woke up—my heart is still beating from the shock!”

I began to chuckle. “Sorry.”

She dismissed the apology with a wave of a hoof. “Don't be. I usually get in trouble when I hum in class—you're the first that's actually told me to keep going.”

We shared a laugh.

“I guess you're helping around the hospital counts for extracurricular activity then?”

Scootaloo's face froze in the middle of her expression to the extent that I was worried I had offended her, but just as quickly as it came, it disappeared. “Pfft, no. I barely go to school as it is, so there's no way I'd be begging to get some more it of.” She began to grin. “I'd rather spend my time outdoors training like Dash used to when she was younger.”

Okay, so maybe Scootaloo hadn't stepped out of Dash's shadow just yet. “I don't get it then. I'm awake now, the nurses are taking care of me, so there's really no need for you to pop in every day anymore. Why not spend that time outside training?”

She was quick to flick her hoof on my forehead. “Duh, who else is going to keep you from going bonkers? I told the other girls not to sweat coming here afterward as I really didn't mind keeping an eye on you after the fact...and besides.”

I felt her hoof envelope my claw, causing my heart to beat at twice the speed as she slowly raised it to the desk. For a moment, I looked at her with wide eyes, until I saw that her other hoof was holding up her math booklet. “It's not like I'm not profiting from these visits, I may have missed a lot of school, but with your tutoring, I'll be at the top of the class!”

I felt my claw fall limply back to the bed. I couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm, before we both got to work.

That's how the majority of our days would go by. I wouldn't say that Scootaloo and I weren't friends before my growth, but we certainly weren't calling upon one-another to go hang out. If we saw each other, we would have a quick chat, or do some things if we were part of a group at the time—but never had we been what one would consider friends.

To be honest, I hadn't even realized she wasn't a filly anymore until after I had woken up. I knew that the girls were growing up and how I felt left behind, but I was never aware the extent that they had grown. Especially now, I wouldn't be surprised if some of them already had colt-friends in school.

Still, for whatever reason, Scootaloo would be at my side even when she was supposed to be at school. I guess the mystery I had become was more than enough to keep her interested in me, and I would be lying if I said I didn't like the playful conversations we had. My feelings on my lost identity were still present, same with the fact that I didn't really consider Scootaloo a friend just yet.

I guess you could say we truly became friends late one day.

“Hold up Spike, I think I got this one.” Scootaloo sat hunched over the desk hovering over my bed; tongue stuck out in concentration as her eyes were narrowed. I watched with mild amusement as she went through the equation, smiling when she arrived at the correct answer. “Bo-yeah! That's another one I got in the can by myself.”

“Indeed you did,” I said, turning the booklet towards me with ease I as my eyes scanned through her problems. “I know you'll probably never admit it, but if you were actually to go to school and pay attention, you could have quite the books smarts on top of the street smarts.”

“Pfft.” Scootaloo fell back in her chair after the long hunch of work. “Books are boring except for Daring Do.”

I rolled my eyes—I wondered where she got her love for adventure from.

“Besides, you never went to school, and yet you already know these booklets like the back of your hoof! Er, claw!”

“That's because I've already done these books when I was home schooled,” I retorted, turning the booklet back to her once upon making sure everything was correct. “You may think having to take time out of your day to go to school is tough, but trying living around Twilight—she's like a twenty-four seven school that never shuts up.”

Scootaloo giggled as she took the booklet from the desk and placed it inside her bag. I expected her to get up afterward, but she kept sitting in her seat afterward. “Okay, so maybe I don't have it as bad as you do in that aspect. But you got to admit that being crazy smart like Twilight must have its perks.”

“Implying that I'm anything close to being as intelligent as Twilight.”

“Well, I mean, Twilight's in a league of her own when it comes to books and stuff,” the golden rays of sunlight filtering through the window bathed her body in a serene orange glow, her purple eyes glittering ever so slightly, “but surely that kind of smarts has rubbed off on you some way, right? I mean, you're able to maintain a conversation with Twilight no matter how deeply she goes into a subject, or at least, that's what I sometimes overhear when I'm the library taking out books.”

I felt something sting my eyes as I did my best to smile. “I've always been able to infer a lot about any broad subject, but when it comes down to understanding, nonetheless applying, then Twilight's got me beat in that area.” I took a breath. “I guess that's the key element that makes Twilight better than me.”

Scootaloo leaned forward. “What is that makes you think that Twilight's better than you?”

“The fact that Twilight Sparkle is smart, probably even a genius,” I said as I stared into her eyes, a bitter-sweet smile stretching my lips. “And me? I'm just a dragon who's clever, always the lesser doing my best to serve my better, and hurting the ponies around me whenever I just want something more.”

I quickly realized my bombard of pent-up feelings, quickly looking away with a hidden blush. “Whoa, that didn't come out right at all!” I gave a forced chuckle. “The docs must have me on some strong stuff if I'm saying wacky stuff like that, am I right?”

My head swayed back towards her, finding her not having moved from her seat as a confused expression had graced her face. Then, it transitioned into concern. She gulped before speaking. “Is that...is that how you feel, Spike?”

I opened my mouth to speak. To go further down the trail of lies to get her off my case, to not make her worry any more than what my sudden growth had inflicted. I knew these feelings to be true, but I also knew they were intensified by my situation—there was no need to involve anyone else if they were to fall from their apex the day I would be discharged.

And yet, I said, “Yeah.”

Scootaloo's mouth was agape for a few moments, the last rays of sunlight begin to recede from the glass. The light to my room was left off, so the corner in which my bed was in began to darken, almost leaving me in shadows as the mare had the last of the light upon her. I didn't mind so much—it amplified her presence.

Scootaloo gave a light chuckle, flashing me a quick smile, before turning her head to the window. “I thought I was the only one.”

“The only one? What...what do you mean by that?”

The smile persisted on her lips as her eyes set on the descending sun. Her face was bathed in a warm, orange glow. “I thought I was the only pony that felt like I was living in another’s shadow. I guess I'm glad I'm not alone in that regard, I suppose.”

I stared at her blankly.

“You have Twilight that you compare yourself to,” she said as the glow upon her dimmed, “and I have Rainbow Dash.”

I continued to stare blankly, but this time around, I understood. I kept my silence out of choice.

“I'm guessing you already know that I respect Rainbow Dash a huge bunch?”

I chuckled. “I don't think anybody starts a fan-club for someone they dislike.”

We both shared a laugh.

“Rainbow Dash must have many fan clubs then, cuz' I don't think there are many ponies that dislike her,” she said as she purposefully kept her gaze away from me. “Regardless of what any-pony says about her, there's no denying her achievements. She was consistently the best in her class despite not being the brightest upstairs, had the confidence to ward of bullies from her friend, performed a sonic rainboom at the youngest age possible! She's currently one of the best flyers who's enlisting to become a wonderbolt, the embodiment of loyalty which has warded off evil itself by using harmony, and have you seen how cool her mane is!”

It was weird to see Scootaloo like this, but I wasn't complaining. She had continued to go off on the numerous achievements that Dash had made in her career, ever so slightly putting herself down in the process, and I couldn't help but see myself in her place for but a moment. Just like her, I thought I was the only one living in another's shadow, only she had the courage to admit her fears...and bring us a little closer together.

“She's such an inspiration,” Scootaloo began to finish, “and I know I'm not the only one trying to be like her. But that's a day that will never come, for either of us.”

My eyes drifted over to the window just in time to see the sun dip behind the monotonous horizon, the last rays of vanishing from sight. In a flash, the lights to the room were gone, as we were both left in darkness, I would have been afraid to be in a place like this again, but I knew that another soul like my own sat only a few feet away—waiting like me for the lights to return.

Then, I heard a light stream of chuckles. “I mean just look at me.”

I really wished I could have, but both of our bodies were obscured by the dark. The only thing that exists were our voices, like we were two spirits just floating.

“Dash was able to perform a sonic-rainboom when she was just a filly. Meanwhile, I'm just getting the hang of my wings as I enter adolescence.” She gave a sigh, and I wasn't quite sure why, but I imagined her looking down at herself. “I draw so much motivation from trying to be like her. Whenever I don't feel like training, I think of all the storms she pushed through; whenever I think about calling it a quits, I think of the attitude she's always held.”

She released a long exhale. “She just so awesome, no! She stands on-top of awesomeness itself, and I wish I could stand exactly where she is. But I'm just Scootaloo, the filly that was more like a chicken—just a cheap cut out of the real deal.”

I remember the Spike before me having the same thoughts. Of placing the girls, imbued with greatness and with personalities that were attractive to almost all, high above himself. Of marveling at the steps that rose the girls to the greatness in which they now stood, and ruminating on how much of a stark contrast was there between us. I was but a fat, baby dragon who wasn't funny and complained a lot. The tag-along little brother.

I'd always conclude how useless I was and just live with it—just like how Scootaloo had done so now. But there was no way I was going to let her come to that same conclusion as well. I may not have known who this new Spike is, what it was that I was supposed to become, and even if doing what I had done would be nothing but a lie to that future dragon—I was not going to let Scootaloo fall into the same trap.

“Maybe I should just give up trying to be exactly like Rainbow Dash.”

“I think so too.”

I could tell by the sway of her mane that she turned to look towards me. I couldn't see whatever expression she was wearing through the darkness, but I knew it must have been somewhere along the lines of confusion or irritation. Still, I continued. “I think it's great that you selected a role model, someone that gives you motivation as to the way you want to live your life. But I think trying to be exactly like that role model is killing what sense of self you have left.”

“Wha...what do you mean by that!?”

“We've already heard the story of Rainbow Dash countless time, and, heck, most of those times are from her lips,” I said, my throat straining on the words, yet I pushed them out all the same. “But we have yet to experience the story of Scootaloo, of the chicken who performed radical tricks on a scooter, and grew into a pegasus worthy of the glance. Dash's mane may be a rainbow, but everyone's got something that makes their unique—it's a matter of preference than what is actually better, and quite frankly, I like the wild style that your's is growing out to be.”

I didn't hear a response nor a reaction, yet I kept pushing forward with my point.

“The world wants to know your story, Scootaloo, and they would like it to be your story. Not a carbon copy of a mare that you should become, but the mare that you already are—the one that strives to become more of herself every day.” I took a breath as my fingers clutched at the sheets to my bed. “If your story were exactly like Rainbow's, then there would be no surprises, nothing that makes it uniquely its own—don't become a story that anyone could get anywhere.”

Finally, I drew a few panting breaths, chilling my burning lungs. “I know this armchair philosophy isn't going to soothe you in the way that you need, but if it helps you in any way, I understand exactly how you feel.”

Again, there was silence, but I knew that she was still listening. I don't know why, but I've never been so sure about anything else in all of my life.

“I've been in the shadows of others since the day I learned to walk, maybe even before then,” I said. “I was raised by a Princess, given to a genius, then entrusted to record the greatness that is the Elements of Harmony. My greatest achievement in life is dropping a crystal heart and falling from a tower, and whenever I tried wanting something more than what I was, I soon found my entire body bathed in my own blood.”

My eyes stung as a tear dripped from my eye.

“Do you know how messed up all that is? How indulging in pleasure made me into a beast that hurt those closest to me, that I should keep quiet in the shadow of my betters, and any improvement that I want for myself is only met by pain? I may not have a chance to rise out of that shadow, but I see so much potential in who you are, Scootaloo, and I think you should start relying more on yourself than that image of Rainbow that you have.”

Silence. But even in the shadows, I knew she was there.

“I don't even know who I am anymore, ever since I had that strange dream I told you about,” I said as I face forward, not chancing her seeing me even in the blackness. “In the dream, I was saying goodbye to myself as a baby dragon. Like I was leaving behind who I once was, and when I woke up, I had a deeper voice and a bigger body, and ponies were treating me with interest and care.”

I sighed. “If I were to have such attention before my growth, I think I would've been glad, but ponies have this different idea about me now. I feel like I'm lying to them by being this interesting because I have no clue who I am—like I'm an empty soul that awakened in some new vessel. I've lost my identity, and to make matters worse, I have no clue what I even look like, and that really scares me.”

I wasn't even sure she had gotten off her chair. I didn't hear her walk across the floor. But I felt the mattress shift as the weight of her hooves were upon it, and a moment later, I felt them go over my shoulders and as she pulled her body against mine. The orange mare was shivering, not from the coldness, but from the fears and stress we both shared.

I raised my claws tentatively, then, I wrapped them around her back, and pulled her closer against me. I wish I could have felt her fur as we became one at that moment, but the bandages that hid everything from me got in the way once more. But I was glad. Glad that another soul like my own existed, and sought the same comfort that I did as well.

The hug continued for a few moments, until the buzzing of a bulb filled the room, and then, there was light. The room came alive with a dim glow, just enough to bathe the room in its light. The first thing I saw was her face smiling down at my bandaged one, head tilted slightly and nose slightly sniffling.

“Thank...thank you, Spike. That's exactly what I needed to hear,' she said as she pulled back a hoof to wipe underneath her eyes. “Heh. If you knew this type of stuff, then why would you still keep comparing yourself to others?”

“I told you,” I said with a smile. “Twilight's the smart one that's able to understand and apply—I'm just clever. Or, at least, the Spike that I am now is clever.”

We shared a light laugh. During so, her face lit up and her ears perked. “Say, the doc said you have a few days until your bandages come off, right?”

“'Bout so. Then I can finally give this identity crap a rest.”

“I don't think the docs would be the wiser if we were to steal a quick peek.” Before I could even hope to stop her, her hooves raised from my back and began unrolling my bandages with precision and ease. As the wraps lost their tightness, I knew that there was no point in stopping her. But my fears came alive at that moment. I was worried how ugly the sudden growth had me—did I hit my head when I fell over, did anything grow out of proportion?

Finally, the wraps became too loose and fell from my face to my neck. Scootaloo reeled back immediately, face changing drastically, as her wings popped open as if on command. She began to slide further back, and that made me all the more worried.

“Oh crud!' I said, lifting my claws to shield my face from her gaze. “How bad is it? Do I have an ugly scar, an ugly face? Tell me, what's wrong?”

She only began to shake her head.

“How bad is it Scootaloo!?”

She still shook her head as her wings began to twitch.

“Do I need to wear bandages for the rest of my life to hide my ugliness?

She shook her head.

“Then what's the problem, Scootaloo!?”

Finally, she gulped, then spoke. “I don't quite know how to put this, Spike.”

“Just tell me how bad is it!”

“It's not bad!”

“Then what is it!?”

“You kinda got...well...uh..”

I narrowed my eyes at her, for some reason causing a blush to her cheeks.

“...hot.”

I blinked as her wings got higher by the second.

“What?”

The room was bathed in silence for the rest of the night.

“C'mon, Spike!” Dash cheered from across the sterile hall, an orange mare by her side, as they both struck opposing hooves upward in cheer. Part of me had smiled at how one was starting to express herself a little differently than the other, but the better part of me was straining to take my next step. “You were able to walk just fine with that big belly hangin' in front of you. With that slender body, this should be a cinch!”

I groaned. I took my next step, only for it to falter, as my body swayed right into the overly white walls. The girls made a start to come towards me, but I stopped them with a raised claw and had the other clutching the wall. I struggled to take my next step, more so with the next, but I was moving forward nonetheless.

That was, until I caught the group of nurses and patient huddle together in the corner of my eye. I could feel all their gazes upon me, whispering things to one another that caused them all to collectively giggle, each one of them focused on a part of me. I clenched my eyes, clearing them from my mind, and took another step forward.

Hearing a whistle made my eyes snap open. I looked left, finding the source to be a mare standing at the doorway across from me, giving me a delicate wave of the hoof and fluttering her eyes. I did my best to offer her some sort of smile, one that no doubt made me look moronic, but she blew me a kiss all the same.

I sighed and looked away, only to see a reflection of myself in the mirror hanging on the wall. The dragon that looked back at me had only four spines lining his head like a sharp mohawk, the face before slightly sharper than the baby one before it, though its snout carried some of its qualities to convey that childish look still.

It was Twilight's, as well as mine, that I was supposed to hit puberty at a younger age, but my total restraint on my greed may have regressed my ability to grow. For whatever reason, when I finally did hit that trigger for my spurt, it was like I was sling-shot into puberty as it had gone overdrive in the first few weeks to catch up.

I say all that, because I had grown facial scales during my slumber, and that absolutely terrified me. Countless times before I had begged Twilight to give me some sort of facial hair, and I'd always dream of the day when I could grow some on my own, but now that I had it, it only amplified the surrealness of my situation.

Of course, my newly acquired wings were tucked tightly behind my back, another sight I was never quite sure I'd ever see. The gown they made me put on wasn't really designed for a dragon, so my longer tail draped along the ground while my wings popped out from the collar. And, for whatever reason, the mares of the hospital were more than glad that my rear was also exposed.

I often felt like I was in hell. I guess I should be thankful that my “recovery” look was enough to turn mares on to the idea of being with a dragon, but I never once thought that dragon was me, and all the attention I'd ever crave was making me feel even worse about my present situation.

I carried on forward, leaving my appearance behind. The mystery of what I would be like was revealed to all to be a stunning young dragon, contrasting drastically to the baby dragon that came before it. For most ponies, that was enough to fulfill their curiosity, with mares giving me eyes that made my heart race in nervousness, and stallions that either treated me like their own or glared at me—though to my present state, either side did anything to me yet. To be honest, I was thankful to the ponies who didn't seem to care.

I'd honestly never expected my transformation to turn out this way, and I'm not sure if that's for better or for worse.

“Oh Spikey!” I heard the familiar voice call from across the hall, raising my head just in time to see the alabaster unicorn bolting my way. Before I could even open my mouth, she was standing before me. “Whatever are you doing out of bed so soon? You know forcing your recovery will only serve to prolong it, don't you?”

I didn't respond at first, not because I couldn't put it delicately how Dash and Scootaloo managed to rope me into leaving my bed, but how I had to look down upon Rarity. It felt so weird standing over her now, with her having to look up to me rather it being the other way around.

“Oh whatever,” she said with a shrug of the shoulders, coming to my side and draping my arm along her back. “I'm sure you've already made all the steps you needed all on your own. Come now, rely on your friends.”

She began to walk forward, making me shuffle as a tried to follow her movement. In a moment, I lost the support of the wall, but in a brilliant purple flash, I found that support replaced by the back of an alicorn. Twilight didn't say anything at first, grunting upon taking some of my weight, taking a step forward in tandem with Rarity, as they waited a second for me to do the same.

Once we got into the groove of things, she finally looked up at me and smiled. “Doing any better, Spike?'

“Sorta,” I said, getting used to being back in motion. “Walking again at this height is going to take some getting used to...among other things.”

Her smile transitioned into a knowing smirk. “I'm sure those are things you'll enjoy getting used to.” She nodded her head towards Rarity, to whom a stole but once glance, and felt nothing upon doing so. I looked forward to the rest of Twilight's friends waiting for us at the end of the hall.

“I doubt it.”

She gave me a worried look, but I kept my silence all the same. After a little while, we reached the end of the hall, where all the girls were standing and giving me looks of pure happiness. I chuckled as I slowly returned my arms to my side, Twilight leaving quickly to fetch me a crutch to use.

“So what brings all of you girls to the hospital?” I asked, giving Twilight a small nod as she slipped a crunch underneath my right arm. “Ponyville on fire again or all of you getting tired of doing my chores back at the library?”

“Oh, nothing like that at all,” Fluttershy said in a soothing voice. “Though if you must know, the library is operating as it normally would, so you don't have to worry about a ton of work when you do finally get home. And Ponyville is still just the same before you got admitted.”

“Well, that's a lie if I ever heard one!” Pinkie gleed as she bounced to just before me, even her highest bounce just enough to make us on eye level. “News of you going from baby to stud is rocketing across the town like a parasprite infestation! You'll totally be the life of the party when we throw your discharge party—and that's not because it was thrown for you!”

“Pinkie!” Dash exclaimed, pushing the bouncing mare back with a wing. “You can't just go around calling guys studs.” She turned her gaze to me and ran her eyes up and down my body. “Though you certainly can spot the difference between the new you and the old one.”

I gulped and kept my face stoic.

“But I'm more interested in seeing those dragon wings in action!” she said with a grin, causing me to sigh with relief. “I thought you were just going to be a little twerp forever. But if you were to start eating more than the crud they offer here, start weight and wing training, then I can see some potential in you as an athlete.”

“Uhh...”

“It'll be awesome if you get into that kind of a lifestyle,” she said as she threw a hoof over Scootaloo's shoulder. “”Cause then you and Scoots could train together. And besides, if you wanna keep the good looks going, you're going to need to work hard to keep 'em.”

“Uhh...”

“Rainbow Dash!” Rarity stepped next to her cyan friend, glaring at her slightly. “Can't you see that our poor Spikey's recovery gets him enough exercise already? I wouldn't blame him if he wanted to take some time off and relax around the boutique when he's discharged.”

I couldn't decipher what the smile she gave me meant as looked up at me. “I'm sure having you around would provide the inspiration I need to come up with some stunning new outfits—perhaps some you could try on and see how well they compliment your new looks?”

“Uhh...”

“Now hold just a second Missy,” Applejack squeezed herself into the small pack that was forming before me, each more so glaring at one another than noticing I was there. “I don't think it's a grand idea just to let the dragon laze about just 'cause he got discharged. The boy's a hard worker, so the momentum gained from work itself will help him get back on his feet, so why not have him out on the farm some days?”

Applejack lost her glare as she looked up to me. “We can try ya' out on the farm for a little while and see how you do. You'll get the exercise that Rainbow wants, you can take breaks whenever ya want as to please Rarity, plus we'll pay ya' for your troubles.”

“Uhh...”

“What if farm work puts too much strain on Spike?” Fluttershy said as she too squeezed into the pack, almost forming a circle, in which, they were discussing amongst themselves what my fate would be. I blinked, noticing in the corner of my eye the mares from before returning to what they were doing before I had entered the hallway, and that made me glad. “I could tend to him better if he stays in my cottage for a bit, and if he wants, he could help me tend to my animals.”

“Uhh...”

A light chattered brewed from in-between the five. Some directed towards one another, others just defending why their point was the best, but there was only one mare standing in the center of them all that managed to draw their attention with a shout. “Shouldn't we ask what it is that Spike wants to do?” Scootaloo said as she struck a hoof towards me from the pack, the following mares trailing its direction. “What he thinks he needs right now, since he's kinda the one that, y'know, grew tall, had wings exploded out his back, became hot in a matter of weeks, and is the one going through pain to just stand?”

Scootaloo stepped out from the pack and brushed a few shoulders, standing just before me. She gave me a nod, one that conveyed our mutual feelings of living an others shadow, and came to my side. I felt her soft fur brush against my smooth scales for the first time, an intimate contact never before possible when I was covered in my bandages, yet it was only because of that fact that made my heart leap unlike when Rarity had supported me.

My arm draped around her neck all on its own, as the weight of standing in this new body no longer hurt as much, as I no longer stood alone. Twilight, who had been watching the entire exchange silently, allowed a small smile to grow on her lips as her head titled slightly. “I think Scootaloo's in the right here; part of recovery is giving control back to the patent, not away from.”

Then, the girls were silent for but a moment, before twirling towards me.

“What is it you want to do, Spike?”

I could only give them one response.

“Uh...”

That was my life for the duration of my recovery. I spent my morning in front of the mirror, both in glee that I finally looked 'handsome,' but also in fear, for I wasn't quite sure if that was me who was looking back at me.

Afternoons found me either inside the sterile white halls or just outside the hospital walls. One of the girls would usually accompany me on my trips, keeping me upright and moving, as they would go on about whatever it was that was occurring in their lives.

I tended to be the therapeutic ear for the girls during my baby years, though that was only when the others weren't around, or there was a letter to be taken down. The sensation of having the girls talk to me so deeply, to want my opinion and hear my thoughts on the matter, still felt as weird as the books Twilight keeps stashed underneath her mattress.

...you didn't read that from me.

Anywho. I hope none of what I have written comes off as complaining—because it's anything but. I'd spent most of my life dreaming about reaching the same level as the girls, of being treated the same and being regarded just as great as them, but now that I had it, everything just felt so...weird.

Whenever the conversation would deviate into about me, I always told them that I was doing just fine. That my limbs still ached, that looking down at ponies felt weird, that sitting back in a chair caused me to shift countless times, and that looking in the mirror was still weird—even weeks after the fact.

It also didn't help, that, my walks would begin with just one mare, and end with four more strangers having joined us. I thought hearing the distant giggle would put a swagger in my step, that having chatter about me would cause me to stand taller—but all it did was cause my heart to beat with anxiety.

I may have told the girls what was going on inside my head, but I never told them of the extent. It wasn't that I didn't trust them enough, or that they would laugh or call me silly, or even that they would be unable to help me—quite the contrary in fact.

It just would've helped if my feelings didn't involve them. And even if they hadn't, I don't think I would be able to talk to the girls that deeply—the girls and I may have cultivated a proper friendship, but it would take some time to establish some depth.

I was glad that such a possibility finally existed for me, but there was something I need to do now about my overwhelming feelings. The nights spent in existential dread, alone in the darkness of my silent room, trying to fall asleep but doomed to think.

It happened late one night, two hours after I was supposed to have fallen asleep. The faint blue rays of light shone through the window to my room, as I sat upright in my bed, unable to shake my nagging thoughts.

Then, out of nowhere, I was drawn out of my thoughts by the sound of glass breaking. I looked to my left just in time to catch the yellow blur, its descent slowed by the destruction of my room's window, like glass and it crashed against the ground.

I recognized the blur to be no other than Scootaloo, who rolled across the floor with a grunt, before her back crashed into the wall, upside down. Her hind legs raised in the air, she gave her head a shake to stop her eyes from rolling, before they set upon me from across the room.

“Heh, uh, sorry about the window,” she said, letting herself fall forward and landing on her hooves. She gave herself a moment to wipe the dust her coat had collected off, before shooting a gaze back at me. “So how's it going, hot stuff?”

I could only let out a groan as I fell back into my bed.

“Oh, crud, did I do something wrong?” I turned my head to watch her quickly sweep the shards of glass from the floor into one collective pile, taking a breath of relief once it was finished, only for the nightly gust of wind to blow the pile away from the window. In a flash, she was hovering before it and pulled down the blinds. “I'm guessing I should leave some bits on the table and have my hooves back here in the morning, huh?”

“I guess,” I couldn't help but grumble, a fact that she caught in to quickly.

“What's up with the sour attitude, Spike?” she said as she hovered my way, prompting landing on her hooves on the stool next to my bed. “I know it's totally rude to bust your window in the middle of the night and all that, but I mean, you used to laugh whenever Rainbow did the same thing back at the library. I thought an entrance like that would cheer you up and all that other jazz.”

I chuckled, hoping it would ease her worries, though it did nothing to assuage my own state. “You didn't do anything wrong, Scootaloo, at least where I'm concerned.” I tilted my head left on my pillow, looking towards her. “I can't say the same for the hospital though.”

We both shared a laugh, something that was becoming far more frequent. I watched as her rump finally made contact with the seat, sitting tall as a light stream of laughter still spilled from her orange lips, before it all came to cease.

The purple pools that were her eyes fixed upon me once again from behind the single strand of her pointy mane. “Are you sure I didn't do anything to...upset you?”

“Uh...”

The smile left her lips as her face took a serious expression, but the gaze of her eyes was still soft as ever. “You know you can tell me anything, right, Spike?”

I kept silent, continuing to stare at her.

“I know that you and I weren't exactly the closest before you came to the hospital, I wouldn't be suprised if I rubbed you off the wrong way or something like that,” she said, fidgeting with her hooves. “But I feel like you and I kind of the same things going on in our lives—I don't mean the same things—but we understand what each other is feeling, even if the situations are different, y'know?”

I hated myself for not saying anything then. I could tell by the strain in her voice, the fidgeting and rubbing of her hooves, and the avoiding of eye contact that it was hurting her to delve this deep into her feelings. But...I needed to hear them out-loud for some horrible reason, to know what it was she really felt, and whatever it was our sudden relationship was becoming.

I didn't know why, but I needed Scootaloo to say that we were friends. In fact, out of all the ponies in the known world, from Rarity to my imaginary comic-book heroes, she was the most important of all to say those magical words.

I guess friendship really is magic.

“So even if we haven't really known each for that long of a time, the fact that you and I were able to talk about stuff that we couldn't talk to anyone else about makes me think we truly became friends in that short amount of time,” Scootaloo said. “Ponies become our friends 'cause we've spent enough time around them to know them well enough. But if you already know a pony well enough, then time kinda becomes irrelevant, don't ya think?”

“I guess I can't deny that logic,” I said, the dark ceiling of my room filling my vision. A thought struck me as it propelled me to turn my head back towards her. “So if I tell you more about myself, and you come to know me better, does that mean we'll truly become friends then?”

Before I knew it, she was flicking my nose with her hoof; head leaned closer to mine. “Silly, the whole point is that we're already friends.” Scootaloo leaned back into her seat. “Anything you do or say now won't change just what level our friendships lie; you know me, and I know you, if that makes any sense.”

I chuckle, still admiring the way her spiky mane fell over her face, and how it accentuated looking into her eyes. Attention had been placed on the development of my looks, but if ponies were too slow down and look around, they would've found a face far better than mine. “In a way, it does, Scootaloo.”

And just like that, her smile stretched into a grin.

“So go on, coach!” Scootaloo rose a hoof gracefully in the air in proclamation, while the other pressed solemnly into her chest, sinking ever so slightly into the orange fur. “Tell your woes to your good friend Scootaloo; I know she's got the wisdom you're craving for.”

“Whatever you say, Trixie,” I stated with a chuckle, hearing the covers of my pillow shift as I stared up at the ceiling. A few moments passed us by, in which Scootaloo began to sit properly, and for my smile to fade away as the glint in my eye left in just one blink. “To be honest with you, Scootaloo, life has been getting really strange as of late—including how fast just you and I became friends. But then I realized, sitting up late in my bed, that my life has always been strange—from building eating bugs and the element of chaos trying to bring about the world's end.” I inhaled deeply and exhaled quickly. “But then I realized: the reason why that life wasn't strange to me was because it wasn't my life. It was always the girls, either doing something or reacting to something, which created that life.”

Cold winds blew through the shattered window, glass clinking in the background.

“But...this, of wanting more and spilling blood for it, saying farewell so I could have the growth spurt I always needed. From dealing with doctors and talking with you, it all seems so sudden and strange, but not quite so much when you compare it the usual stuff I go through.”

I sighed, closing my eyes. “The only reason why it feels so strange is because it's happening to me. Life has put these problems before me much like a villain does with the girl, only it's up to me to make a decision and move forward.”

I laughed as I draped a claw upon my cheek. “I'm finally becoming my own dragon, and I can't help but feel hopelessly scared because of it. I may be able to ask the girls for advice, maybe even help, but whatever decisions I make next fall solely upon me.”

Finally, I rolled my head back towards Scootaloo to find her staring at me with silent eyes. “Here I am complaining about having to make choices, while the girls do so effortlessly in the face of the world's end. I'm surprised I was born as a dragon instead of a chicken.”

Scootaloo stared down at me with those eyes of hers, from behind that violet mane of hers, before finally, finally she placed her fore hooves upon the railing of my bed, and hovered her face just above them. Together, we stared into one-another eyes at an equal height level.

“That's supposed to be my line, dummy,” she said, lightly chuckling afterward. “Well, if you change the whole being a dragon thing with being a pegasus...thing, of course. But please, tell me more, and if you can, try not to look away.”

A smile stretched across my lips by its own violation; every beat of my heart became suddenly aware to me at that moment. Her plea was easy—just don't look away—but my voice croaked as it clashed in the closeness of our beings.

Finally, I let myself close my eyes and exhale a deep breath, and did my best not to focus my eyes when they re-opened. “Ever since I woke up, it feels like everything's been about me. At first, I was glad to have ponies like you and the girls take such a deep interest in me—it reminded me the ponies really do care about me. That we all care about each other equally, even though I may fail to recognize that at times.”

Scootaloo rested her chin on her hooves and listened further with a tilted head.

“All that attention at first felt great, but as quickly as that feeling came, it went. Soon I was being overloaded on how different I sounded, the things we would do when I got out, and how much things were going to change. You already know how I felt about all that.”

She smiled as her head dipped momentarily.

“But that's something I can handle. I may not exactly know who I may have changed into, but I know I still retain a bit of who I was once—that baby dragon will forever be hiding in my psyche, as we explore this strange new world together.”

“Don't forget you got me standing next to ya,” Scootaloo said from behind her hooves, only her eyes and mane visible. “You're not the only one who's changed and been trusted into the same world that now feels totally different.”

“Touche,” I said as I couldn't help but look away. “But that's part of the stuff that I can't handle.”

“What do you...what do you mean?” Her voice suddenly crack as worry dripped from my tone, causing me to look back immediate with apologetic eyes.

“I just feel like I'm on a direct course to letting you, the girls, and everypony else down.” The fear that caused my heart to swell escaped far too easily from my lips, something I would have liked to lead into, but not at the cost of rendering Scootaloo in a worrisome state for a moment longer. “I've been granted with all this...potential. Before, I was nothing but a nuisance on the Apple's farm, but now with my build, they think I'll be good as two workers.”

I couldn't help myself from looking at the ceiling as my eyes began to sting. “Dash has never been one to pay me a glance, but now, she's obsessing over my wings and begging me to train under her—to be the first pony to teach a dragon how to fly, she says. Then, of course, my 'new looks' is enough to dazzle Rarity with inspiration for a new clothing line—and guess who she has set out to be the model?”

I heard a light chuckle. “You?”

I turned back towards her with a nod. “Pinkie has it in her mind that inviting me to a party will also bring in a slew of guest, ponies that don't know me yet seem to follow me wherever I go, while Fluttershy would like to use me to persuade the more dangerous animals that they can as well live peacefully. The thing is, I can get over that, but with Twilight, it's another story.”

“How so?”

“She's started writing a book about me,” I said, “I've always suspected she's had a little project, but I was able to confirm it for sure. Never before after an injury has she asks me how I felt, but now, she wants to know about my every pain of worry to jot down for later analysis.”

“I know I'm not one to really talk here,” Scootaloo intervened, allowing me a moment to calm my erratic breathing. “But I think the girls are really just trying to help you, and if they are using you, it seems to be for a good cause. Fluttershy and Pinkie look like they need you to help others; Applejack and Dash to help you get used to your new bod', and Rarity's already making you some new clothes for your height free of charge.”

She slowly came out from behind her hooves, looking at me almost like a scared child. Despite her cuteness, I'd rather her not feel afraid to voice her opinions. “As for Twilight, I know she tends to get caught up in the moment or her mind, but she usually makes it up to you in the end. I mean, I would totally be uncool with someone using me as a test subject, but knowing Twilight, all she probably wants to do is bring more information on dragons to the public eye.”

“That's the thing; I know that the girls are just trying to help me, or to improve the world while using me. It may be irritating, but I would never be mad over something like that.”

“Then...then what is it that's got you down?”

“The feeling that I'm going to betray them!” I felt a few tears sting the corners of my eyes as I expressed the core of my frustrations. “That I'll end up being inept on the farm and screw everything up, that I'll crash into every building possible with my wings, that once ponies get to know me, they won't want to go to those parties.”

I felt my head crashed against my pillow—I hadn't even realized I had sat up. “That those clothes won't look good on me and just waste Rarity's time and resources, that those dangerous creatures I'm supposed to tame will just end up ripping me apart, and finally, finally! That Twilight's research will be pointless—because I'm not a normal dragon. I'm not even a dragon, much less a pony.”

My claw raised on its own as my eyes focused on its purple scales.

“The girls are just seeing a mirage when they look to what I could be, and I'm just leading all the mares on with the facade of my looks,” I said slowly in contrast to my previous speedy expression. “I'm not trying to lie to them, doing everything but getting their hopes up, yet they all do so anyway, and I can't help but feel I'm the one who's to blame. Once these ponies get to know me deeply enough, they won't like me like they did before.”

That was it. Everything within me now floated inside the room. I could feel my every breath, my heart rate slowly calming, and my body no longer shivering. It was like my scales had been ripped from me as my body was completely exposed to the other in the room—I didn't know why I felt like I had done something so incredibly wrong, even now.

I didn't dare look to the other in the room. Despite my change and growth, at my heart and at my core, I was still a coward. I think...I think that's why I liked, er, respected Scootaloo so much. Despite her fears and the problems ahead, she always possessed the courage to expose herself as she acted.

At the time, delight washed across my face as strange of orange fur absorbed the tears clinging to the corners of my eyes. Then, ever so slightly, she turned my head until we were face to face once more. “I know you, and I haven't run away.”

I began to cry, yet she didn't take away her hooves.

“I've seen what you're like around others, and I also know the type of things you think of while you're alone,” Scootaloo said with a light chuckle, using her other hoof to grab a napkin from the table and used to dry my tears. “I know we may not act the same, but we do have the same thoughts on our minds.”

I sniffled in attempt to cease my tears. “So different, and yet, the same.”

“Mmmhmm,” she hummed as she got the last of my tears, only turning away to place the napkin on the table, and looking back at me again. “Say, Spike? Try not to sweat the whole 'being hot' thing. I got to know you when bandages were still covering your body, and even then, I still liked who you were—the looks just kinda of add to the package, get what I mean, jellybean?”

I couldn't help but laugh and croak at the same time. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Whoever's ‘Hot' in this town changes by the week, and it's more of a trend than anything else. I'm not going to say all the mares will be off your tail, but something tells me you don't mind to wandering gazes.” Again, I laughed, but something like hurt flashed across her face. Before I could even think to mention it, Scootaloo continued. “After a while, ponies will get used to your looks, and stick around because of who you are. Just takes thing day by day, slowly revealing who you are to the ponies around you—they may not know him too well yet, but sooner or later, they'll find out just what kind of dragon you are.”

Finally, and unfortunately, she withdrew her hooves. “And regardless of whatever kind of dragon you grow into, I'm sure I'll like him as much as I like you now.”

Scootaloo then clambered over the railing and onto my bed, laying her head on my chest as she wrapped her hooves around my neck. We were both laying down, probably just as nervous as the other, but the embrace was far too comfortable to give up to awkwardness.

Slowly, my claws rose and worked their way around her body, before hugging her close to me. I felt the length of the barrel of the body as I wanted ever so badly to hug her just a tiny bit harder. She had grown quite the wings, the feather tickling my wrists.

I knew this hug was a special case, but even then I knew it meant something else. The way we were hugging was not the way most others did, and how we continued to lay there despite the many ticking of the clock showed that there was some other bond fueling our embrace.

Quite possibly, as I hugged her closer and heard her soft giggle, was the moment I think I fell for Scootaloo. And of course, with my luck, we both realized just what this was turning into, and both split apart. She sat just between my legs, and I was forever glad I had a blanket on.

“Oh hey, um, you uh, feeling better now?!” Scootaloo squeaked as she couldn't help but look to me, then the wall, then back to me repeatedly.

“Oh yeah, big time!”

“Cool, cool.” Scootaloo used her one hoof to rub her other arm, barely able to look me in the eyes—the feeling was mutual. “Hey, when I said I liked you and all that, I didn't really mean it.” After a second, her face lit up as she quickly jumped upon my chest. “Ack! That didn't come out right! I mean I like you, but in the way that friends like each other, and not like how a mare may like a colt, or a dragon.”

She slapped herself with a hoof, speaking muffle from behind it. “That's not to say you can't attract mares, especially with your looks, and not have her like you as both a boy dragon and a friend.”

My mouth hung open for a few moments, and then, laughter spewed from my lips.

“What's so funny?”

“You.”

“Oh stick a sock in it.'

“Have any socks?

She sat down, hard, upon my chest.

“Anymore jokes?”

“None so far,” I wheezed.

“Good,” she said with her arms still crossed and her eyes closed. After a few moments, they opened, and set upon the wings behind my back. “But you are thinking about taking Dash up on her offer to train, right? Think about it, you and I would train together under wonderbolt material—how kickflank would that be?”

The rest of the night was spent like that. From discussing the discharged party only a few days away, how her training was going with Dash, and our speculations on how the future was going to be like. To tell you the truth, we got almost everything right.

The only one thing we didn't suspect happening was our kiss. But, to be fair, we were never told about the one thing that could change anything between ponies and dragons.

Flying tortoises.

III – I've Never Kissed a Girl Before

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~ III ~

“I've Never Kissed A Girl Before”

The month of my recovery was also one of many changes, where relationships both deepened and shifted, that when it came time for me to walk out of that hospital on my own two feet, I knew that I was not the same baby dragon that had been escorted inside.

The month afterward, despite being as eventful, had no sudden surprises lurking around. At the risk of sounding like a sissy, I’m quite thankful for that—not sure my heart could handle anymore sudden changes.

Well, there was one sudden change, happening the moment I took my second step outside. Something had swept me off my feet, landing me inside the back of a wagon as it sped off—a familiar pink blur pulling us from ahead.

Before I could even think to scream, the cart zoomed forward almost at the speed of light, and just as quickly as it bolted—it stopped.

My body flew forward from the wagon, past a pair of already opened doors, and into the darkness that was the entrance to the building. A familiar magical warmth embraced me in its aurora as I lost all of my speed, just floating in the air, until the lights came on.

“Welcome back, Spike!”

Heh, the girls really know how to start a party. I had the chorus of cheers for my recovery, music wafting from the background as everyone mingled with snacks in their hooves. Everyone made it a case to share a word with me, and while I appreciated their concern—saying the same thing over and over was making me go a bit insane.

But the worse was when I would have a pack of mares before me, and I had absolutely nothing to say. When it comes to flirting, you could say I'm a bit of a master, but only if I'm speaking to a reflection of myself, and there's no one else in the room.

So, as you could guess, any attempts made on me were foiled by my bumbling and my awkward laughter. That, and Scootaloo had been instructed (I'm not quite sure by who) to keep a close watch on my still somewhat weakened state. Apparently, that meant warding off said mares with her eyes alone, and having a private talk with them when she thought I wasn't looking.

Of course, I wasn't the only one to have noticed this. Some of the girls watched on with knowing eyes, smiling at the younger mare at work, before looking and fixing me a grin. I got the impression they had and worked immediately to rectify it—for Scootaloo's sake, at least.

My efforts to explain the situation, to say the least, were in vain. The girls were more than willing to believe that our relationship had somewhat deepened during her hospital visits, but I would have had a better chance getting a blind pony to see that we were just looking out for each other.

Besides, this is Scootaloo we're talking about here. Everyone knows she takes after Rainbow Dash, just like how I take after Twilight. I mean, our interests still mainly line up, and we get each other deeply enough to understand why the other enjoy their interests—but there's no way she would be able to see my personality in that light.

I wasn't even sure if I wanted her to see me in that light. Whatever it was we had going on...it was safe. The soothing of our fears lied in our friendship, where we could open up about anything—but opening up on what I may feel about her might end up destroying whatever safe haven either of us had.

I wouldn't do that to Scootaloo.

Or maybe I wouldn't that to myself.

My return home saw to the tides of change finally calming down. That didn't mean there weren't moments where I would ponder at eye-level with a shelf once well beyond my height, or how I had to look down on most ponies to make eye contact, or even trying to sleep with two limbs sticking out of your back.

But all wasn't bad. The feeling of being treated as an equal among the girls was probably the greatest of all in my life, all except for one. I went from lazing about in my room with a good comic to taking each of the girls up on their offers—deepening my relationships while I was at it.

It turns out Scootaloo wasn't the only one who had another side to them, and I was glad I was able to connect with the girls on a level I was unable to do so before. I honestly felt like my own dragon, and while making decision dictating both my life and my future, I was glad that they still fell upon me.

I was soon to learn, however, that some decisions were still out of my control. It happened one day, a month after my discharge, where my afternoons had been spent training underneath Rainbow Dash...and alongside Scootaloo.

There's a lot to thank Dash for. Despite not saying so, any and all books on dragon's anatomy were subsequently taken from the library (a charge I made sure not to inform Twilight of), as well as the cyan pegasus curled up with a book on a cloud instead of just napping like she usually did. You could say she was only working hard 'cause the interest of being the first pony to train a dragon, but in all honesty, I think she had taken a liking to a new me and genuinely wanted to help me soar those beautiful blue skies.

I wouldn't blame the reader if they believed both to be true.

It had come at the end of the month where my wings could flex on their own, lightly taking to the winds with the most jerky of movements. Don't let that description belittle the fact of how euphoric it is to fly—to swim acorss a sky instead of water, freedom and speed taking the forum of your wings.

I knew the feeling wouldn't have been as grand if there wasn't another basking in that discovery alongside me. Those over the top cheers always made going to practice worth it. I always loved how Scootaloo scream something from the top of her lungs with no shame whatsoever, because, like always, she meant every word she said.

Just a little more training, and we could explore past the horizon, just the two of us. I mean so as friends, of course! The idea of Scootaloo and I becoming closer and stronger together usually caused Dash to squeal, a fact we did our best to swipe underneath the mat.

But one day, at the end of my second month in this new stage of life, Scootaloo and I had finished our most advanced session yet with Dash. We all basked in the enticement before going our separate ways, but just as I was going to make my way to the farm, a cyan mare blocked my way.

“She likes you, y'know.”

I heaved my knapsack over my shoulder as I leaned to the side, fixing Dash with a raised eyebrow. “Of course I know Scootaloo likes me; I like her very much too.”

“No, you dumbo,” Dash said with the shake of her prismatic mane, looking up at me from behind those colorful strands. “I mean she likes likes you.”

I stood with a mouth hung open, the breeze of summertime wafting over the stretches of grassy plains that had served as our training ground. Air then blew out my mouth as I felt my lips vibrate. “Yeah, and I'm the prince of a long dead dragon society.”

Dash huffed up at me as I tried to stumble around her, feeling the dirt of the trail we were on with my feet. And, since it was Dash I was dealing with, I rose my claws in surrender—I may have been taller than her now, and also a dragon, but Rainbow Dash was never one to find such facts about me intimidating.

Something I'm grateful for—expect at that moment.

“Look, I really don't have time for jokes right now Dash. I'll miss out on supper if I'm late to the farm again.”

Dash didn't make a move as I shuffled next to her. However, the next words she spoke were serious enough to freeze me into place. “Is it so hard to believe the little scamp may have a thing for ya?”

Finally, the gust of wind came to embrace us both, lifting the strands away from her face as she looked away, as it calmed my rushing state. Inhaling its coolness, I looked back to the mare with a forced smile. “I do.”

“Even after you had the town chasing after your tail?”

“Well, I mean, Scootaloo isn't really one to go after someone with looks—at least I don't think so. I believe she cares about what kind of pony you're like instead of what you wear or whatever it is you like to do.”

“It's funny, y'know?” Rainbow Dash finally turned away from the fresh winds to gaze up at me, offering a smile that's honesty could be seen even from Applejack despite the distance. “That's exactly the reason why I think you two would be great together.”

We were like that for quite some time, just looking at one another as the blades of grass kept flowing in a single direction. I knew whatever was to come was far more important than making it to the farm on time, so I sat down on the trail, making it so we were at eye level. “Alright Dash, you got me. Now what do you have going on in the brain of yours think Scoots would remotely like a dragon like me?”

“Hmm, well let's see!” Her cyan rump met the ground just as her head looked up, waving a hoof about as she expressed her thoughts. “There's her coming to the library to help around the library just after you were released, talking to her friends and us about you all the friggin time, and even if Scoots isn't all about looks, you can be darn sure a few wandering glances were cast your way.”

“Well, that's not the basis for anything!” I said as my arms crossed, giving a slight huff as I did so. “It makes sense that she would want to visit the library more after we truly became friends, that she talks about me because our friendship is still fresh, and that sometimes our eyes just happen to wander—it's happened to me more than once.”

Her face flew to before mine. “Ho-oh, do you now?”

I quickly looked away. “You know what I mean.”

“Whatever you say, coach,” Rainbow sneered as she pulled back, still staring at me with that smug expression. “But deny it all you want—I know there's a connection between you two. Or, at least from her lips.”

I lost my breath upon hearing that as my eyes went slightly wide. “Scootaloo...” For whatever reason, my body leaned forward on its own. “Told you she likes me!?”

“Now aren't we the excited one,” Dash said as she lightly poked my snout, causing me to reel back. “But yeah, Scoots is crazy about ya kid. I won't lie and say she told me straight up she likes you, but seeing how our conversations lately seem to be about how awesome you're becoming, it's not too hard to guess just what it is she feels.”

Dash gave a sigh that was soon captured by the winds, looking up if almost to follow them. “But I won't lie and say that she said it to me directly—Scootaloo may not even know what it is she feels.”

Then, she glanced at me from over her shoulder. “When it comes to the two of you, both alone and together, I see potential—and you know how much I hate to see stuff like that wasted.”

My breath continued to be lost to me as my body felt incredibly light. I couldn't help but shuffle around, leaving her at my back as I stared out to the almost endless plain of land. “I...see.”

Something soft caressed the scales of my shoulder as I felt two hooves drape over my shoulders. Soon, the head of my mentor was almost rubbing next to mine in a weird embrace I couldn't hope to break.

“I know...that you've never really been in love before,” she said softly, her face in my peripheral vision as we both stared out into the horizon. “You may have had a crush on Rarity, but this, this is something that's just waiting for you—but the hard part about it is that you have to act on it.”

“Yeah...”

“Don't think for a second that she's the only one interested though,” Dash said, turning an eye to me as a grin was born down below. “The girls and I have been listening to you drone on her when you should be training and flying. And don't think I haven't caught those gazes you take when you think no one's looking—I've seen how your eyes scan her for injuries when she falls...and the few times you've checked out her flank.”

“D-Dash!”

“I'm only teasing ya, sport,” Dash giggled for a few moments, more of the breeze whistling through the grass. Then, ever so slightly, her hooves came to either side of my cheeks, and made me face her serious expression. “But in all honesty and all that other stuff, I need to know if Scoots has a chance or not. I can be there for her to help her process those feelings, but I'm not going through that hassle if it just means heartbreak.”

My throat clenched as a haze clouded my mind.

“Because, as much as I love ya Spike, I would have to beat ya from here to Canterlot if you broke a teenage filly's heart.”

Then, I spoke without meaning to. “What makes you think the same won't happen to me?”

“What do you mean by that, Spike?” Rainbow Dash said, and when she caught my sigh, it was like she understood immediately what it was that troubled me. I almost didn't feel her drop from my back as she quickly took a seat by my side.

Without even being asked to, I opened up again to a mare that wasn't Scootaloo.

“I'm not going to lie and say that Scoot's athletic training hasn't left her with a body always worth the look, or that her energetic personality always manages to will me into the mood to get stuff done, and how I can always know, no, feel whenever she's around or not.”

“Care to tell me how this isn't already a done deal?”

“Because...because I'm a coward,” I said, looking away from the field to stare at the mare sitting next to me on the dirt trail. “I know it's a bit off topic, but for as long as I could remember, I've always wanted to be a hero from my comic books. Part of the reason was because of all the cool stuff they did, but mostly, it was because they always had a Princess to save—someone to always come home to.”

“Oooookay?”

“That Princess in my mind even took the shape of Rarity when I first saw her—my fantasy just right there, always around me, but still, just a fantasy.” I couldn't help but sigh as the winds tried to calm my beating heart. “Romance has always just been a cool idea in my mind, created by me and managed by me—when my attempts at trying woo Rarity failed, I could always just continue with the Princess inside my head.”

“So I'm guessing Scoot's has become your Princess now?”

“No,” I said to her, before looking back to the grass, “and that's exactly what makes her so...scary. Scootaloo is here, in reality, wanting now to go on a date and explore a relationship I've only fantasized about.”

My head dropped underneath the weight of my anxiety. “The very fact that I could get with somepony else scares me to death, and I'm not quite sure why. I know that I shouldn't be afraid, that ponies get together and break apart every day, but I can't help but feel my heart go numb whenever I ponder that possibility with her.”

“Is that...is that the reasons why you haven't taken up any of those mares on their offers?”

I nodded. “And I'm afraid that the reason why I don't see it working with any of those mares is the same reason why it won't work with Scoots. We're just, so different...I'm not sure if we would last—that if she would grow bored of me or if I may weigh her down.”

I looked up to Dash from my crossed elbows—I must have looked like I reverted to being a baby again. “I have no clue what I should do, Rainbow Dash, even more than when I grew five feet and sprouted wings.”

“Hmmm.” Dash watched my expression for a few moments longer, as if to see if I was being genuine or not. Then, her head dipped in thought, keeping us in our position as the sun began to dip behind the mountainous horizon.

“Go in head first.”

My wrists moved away from my face as I exposed myself to her. “Huh?”

Rainbow Dash struck a pose, an aroma of confidence exuded effortlessly from her, as I knew now why Scootaloo took such inspiration from her. I felt my light body gain weight as I looked upon her posture, only being filled more once she spoke.

“I understand your feelings perfectly and in no way do they make you a coward—the fact that you're able to admit them shows that you've come a long way, Spike.” The golden rays of light caught her features in its brilliance; her face lit up by it. “Try to remember that Scootaloo has come a long way as well, and you're not on this weird trajectory alone. Scootaloo has never liked-liked a pony before, except for you now.”

I felt a bit of that golden light shine on me as well.

“I think you know better than anyone that Scootaloo would never try to hurt you intentionally, but that's not a guarantee that it will never happen,” she said, beginning slowly to retract to her normal posture. “Scootaloo is right there next to ya, ready to jump into the unfamiliar with ya, all to learn those scary things you can't learn alone. Overthinking and fantasizing about romance are all just second guesses, while charging in head first will reveal the real deal to the both of you.”

Slowly, I felt myself rising to my feet.

“The best part about exploring that unknown road is that you have an awesome girl like Scoots to back you up and vice versa.” Dash said as she took a step towards me, both of us standing before the other. “You don't have to act right away, but at the same time, you shouldn't expect all glances at her flank to be free forever.”

Rainbow Dash gave a shake of her own flank, causing the epic moment to be deflated in an instant, as I couldn't but slump as she began to giggle. Before I knew it, her wings flexed open, and in the next, she was but a streak in that same horizon we had been looking at together.

I was already plenty late, so I began to make my way to the Apple's farm. My eyes were never drawn away from the horizon—for I saw the image of Scoots and me having a picnic on its plains, looking out to the horizon.

I could feel my heart beating just looking at that image alone, and I did not know if that was a good thing or not.

Scootaloo didn't leave my mind for the next few days, our memories playing on repeat as I would soar through the blue sky. Straining yourself to fly at the fastest speed possible made the same possible with your thinking, the constant winds soothing me as I probed the depths of my feelings.

The only problem was that I was thinking about the same things over and over. There wasn't any need to wonder if I liked Scootaloo because I already knew I did—and it looked to be the same the other way around. I had an idea of where a relationship like ours may lead to, but no amount of thinking would ease the trail.

No matter how many times I thought about it, the conclusion was always the same.

Rainbow Dash was right; I needed to see Scootaloo.

As my luck would have it, I wasn't the only one who was using flight to clear their mind. Out in the horizon, I spotted an orange blur among the clouds, directing my course so that we both were on the same trajectory.

My heart swelled as her form gained clarity. There would be no backing out, no saying hi just to quickly say bye. Whatever it was we had between us, the feelings we hid at our depths—we would explore those together again, like those nights we spent inside the hospital walls.

Scootaloo was saying something into the winds as she was looking away, not looking to where she was flying as our paths were quickly coming to collide—a flying mistake that would get a smack on the head from Dash.

“Scootaloo!”

My voice drew her attention towards me as she quickly fixed me with a confused expression and the blink of the eyes. Her lips mouthed my name, and I couldn't help but nod with a smiled admits the same winds.

And then...it happened. The moment that keeps playing in my mind like a broken record playing, rearrange my heart in paradoxical ways every time I've forced to remember it again. What was to come next was meant to simplify our feelings so that they were better understood—what ended happening just complicated the matter in a way I had never thought possible.

Just as we were coming to break with our wings to slow our momentum, a familiar pet showed itself through the clouds and caught Scoot's attention. She was so surprised at seeing it that she didn't stop her flight, causing her body to be flown onto mine.

I was too surprised to do anything as my body went limp, our momentum crashing into one another's. And then, that tortoise decided he would like to be in on the fun as it too came crashing into us—or rather, into the back of Scootaloo's head.

I felt her sharp intake because her lips had fallen into mine, so sudden and alien, yet wonderful despite its bareness. I had felt what lips were like only on my cheeks, and feeling them against mine was quite possibly the strangest feeling of all, and I don't mean that in a bad way.

Our eyes were open with shock upon the immediate intimate contact, fully present as to fully intake every sensation our bodies could experience. This left our bodies in a limpness blind, and with no wings to support us, we began our descent to the grassy plains that awaited us below.

The wind began to hurl at us as if we had entered a slipstream of our own. The fading image of the tortoise flew away from beyond half of the face of the mare plummeting so close to me, whose eyes seemingly closed on their own as all shock and fear were stripped from her face.

She pressed her lips further into mine, and without the assistance of gravity.

It should be said, that in that terrifying moment born of so many reasons, that not a single thought or worry was on my mind. I think Twilight would be mad if she read that I had done nothing immediately to prevent our possible deaths, but I was far too lost in the embrace to care about worldly things.

My arms lifted on their own, wrapping around the smaller mare and keeping her close to my chest. I had always wanted to hug her just a little bit tighter, to feel the softness of her tummy upon my chest, and my present situation had finally allowed for me to do just that.

Another thing that had happened, something that I had forgotten until now that makes me wanna kill myself, is that I pressed my lips against her as well. That kiss that tore through the clouds and the mist was something my instincts always wanted, and I was stupid to let my fears get in the way of the purest thing I had experienced so far in my life.

Despite our lip and body lock, my wings soon sensed the coming ground below us, and pulled open with a mighty flap—subtracting all the momentum I had gained as the small flaps afterward allowed us to hover just a few feet above the field.

Slowly, I felt her lips leave mine as she leaned back in my arms. She looked up at me from the cover of her mane as I looked down at her eyes of the same confusion and fear—glistening all the same. The moment my feet touched the ground I was quick to let her do the same.

And that's how that day ended. Both of us standing on that lonesome trail, looking at each other with eyes filled with such confusion, with our hearts pounding in such a way that was painful yet beautiful. Our staring match carried on for a few moments longer; I was standing on two feet while she on four, before we both turned around, and made our way home.

The fact that the girls weren't surprised when I asked for a week to myself was enough to tell me that the secret was out. I should be glad that nopony said anything, but not that I think about it, some criticism might have done me some justice.

Just like before, thinking in my bed did little to bring me any avail. Why was Scootaloo my first kiss? Those things are a one-time deal, being given to a pony that you know absolutely to be the one, and the way that it's supposed to happen is deliberate and romantic.

I guess falling to our deaths suits a girl like Scootaloo better anyway. But, the thing is that dragons are known for their greed, stealing from other to amass their hoard—just how did Scootaloo feel about having her first kiss stolen by some dragon?

My feelings grew hazy with every day that passed as the cloud of uncertainty grew thicker over the library. I wasn't sure what it was I supposed to be feeling, what the proper course of action was supposed to be. I knew now that making decisions were up to me, and that filled me with all the more dread on what to do next.

It wasn't before long that having pebbles and other subjects became a daily occurrence. “Spike, we know you're in there. Get out now!”

Obviously, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle weren't happy about what had happened between their friend and me. Fortunately, Twilight was always there to stop the girls before things got too progressive, and this encounter served to be no exception.

“That's enough girls,” Twilight said as I watched her step outside from my window, cowering from just below the counter. “Spike already has enough on his mind even without whatever happened between him and Scootaloo. I promise that, once he's had a little more time to himself, he'll be willing to talk to you girls.”

“Later ain't good enough!” Applebloom said as she stepped before the older mare, almost now matching her height. “Ya should see how wound of Scoot's is after what happened—I've never seen her this sad or confused in my life! I think Spike has time enough to get over whatever hump he's on.”

“The only one who can be sure of that is Spike himself,” Twilight said, rubbing her hoof as she looked away, and then sighing. “Look, if I promise to talk to Spike about it today, will you give him just a little more time.”

Applebloom went to speak with an angry expression, but Sweetie had beat her to it. “Do you promise?”

“I pinkie swear.”

Sweetie's gaze fell upon her friend for a moment, then to Twilight, and then, unfortunately, at the window I had been peering from. I'm not sure if she saw me as I quickly ducked into cover, hearing their faint voices from my height.

“Okay, we'll keep Scootaloo company for just a little longer. But you better not break your promise.”

“I won't, girls. Give Scootaloo my all.”

“Focus on giving your all to Spike first.”

And just like that, they were gone for just a little longer. A heard the door close, another sigh carried up the hall just like the hoof-steps after, and then, an all too familiar knock on my locked door. “Spike...are you awake in there? May I come in?”

“Yeah, I'm awake.” My back peeled from the wall as I stood to my full height, cutting the distance between me and the door, and unlocking it to the sight of the lavender alicorn behind it.

She flashed me up a smile. “Mind if I come in?”

I stepped out of the way. “Knock yourself out.”

In but a few moments, we found ourself in our usual positions. Twilight would come into my room and analyze the way how I had everything set up and put together, while I would just crash in my bed, and relish in the sound of another in my room.

Of course, this silence never lasted long when there was something to be discussed. I always wondered why Twilight, a mare that always liked to cut to the root to everything to get as close as the purest truth possible, would always wait those few minutes to begin our sessions.

But to be honest, I was always thankful she granted me that small window of time to relax. Maybe that was the reason.

“It looks like you finally got your room to the way you wanted to, huh?” Twilight said as she strolled by my small collection of books, smiling at the covers. “It wasn't before long that we were sharing a room—now you've got a bed instead of a basket, and the room itself is revealing to the character you're becoming.”

“Is that a good thing?”'

“As long as your room's not a mess, then it's fine with me.”

“You're one to talk, Ms. Study All Night and Leave Books Littered Across the floor.”

“Hey!”

We stared at each other from our spots, my eyes calm while hers were alight, before our lips came spewing with laughter. Even though she was a Princess now, nothing would ever stop me from teasing Twilight Sparkle.

“Whatever you say, Mr. Hot Stuff.'

I guess that, even if I were to grow into a normal sized dragon, that Twilight would still go on to tease me about my weight. Another relationship I had been blind to was ours, where no matter what we became, we always had the other to tease and remind us who we were.

New form or not, I was thankful to have a friend like Twilight Sparkle.

“Hey, Spike?”

“Yeah, Twilight?”

“I know I said you could take all the time you needed to process your feelings, but please, just try to remember, that every day that passes could be one that's hurting her.”

“I know.” I sighed, finally turning my head to face her fully. “But I'm still just so clueless as to what it is I feel, and I can't act unless I'm being honest with myself what it is I want to do. I don't suppose that big mind of yours can offer any help?”

Twilight's lips stretched into a soft smile as she began to approach my bed, taking a seat at its very end. “Hmm, I guess I could do my usual thing where I assess both of your deepest beings, compare the compatibility of your interests, and assess just what unconscious forces are at play here.”

I stared at her with those same calm eyes, but underneath it all, my heart pumped as if the answer I desired could be processed quite so easily by her ingenious mind.

“But you should know better than anyone, Spike, that no matter how much time that I put into research, of thinking and analyzing and putting together the pieces you may not have even considered—that whatever answer I come up with will always be inferior to the one that you discover for yourself.”

Along her speech, Twilight slid down the length of my bed. “I can boil romance down to a science, but only by you acting can value and meaning be added to it. Whatever choice it is you feel like you have to make, just know I'll be behind you, all along the way.”

I couldn't help myself from taking her into my embrace. I held her close as the other being I really needed at the moment, because I needed to know that someone else would be there for me. Any other dragon would take shame in such thoughts, but I had only pride in the friends that I had.

“Even with those wonderful words, Twilight,” I said into the crook of her neck as she leaned her head upon my shoulder, lightly nuzzling it, “my feelings are still scrambled, and all that has happened feels like one hazy blur.”

“The way we feel about things is often derived from our reaction to those said events," Twilight whispered into my ear, as our fur and scales rubbed together. “It's impossible for you to act now, but maybe you didn't experience those events like you should have when they happened.”

“It's a bit late to go back in time now.”

“But it's not too late to revisit those events in that mind yours,” Twilight said as she pulled away, planting a small kiss on my cheek before pulling away. She returned to her hooves and began to walk away. “You keep obsessing over my mind but never any time to maintain yours. Maybe if you were to focus on yourself a bit more, you'd find yourself in a better place.”

“And just how do I do that!” I shouted at her, making her pause at the door to my room.

Slowly, she turned her head back towards me, and flashed both a smile and a wink. “You've been taking notes after me your whole life—maybe if you start doing the same for yourself, you'd know what it is you feel.”

And just like that, she was out of my room.

“There's already a journal in the basement whenever you're ready, and chain and lock in case you'd rather be left alone.”

And just like that, we've come to where this story began.

That hectic blur finally put to paper in a straight line. All those moments that meant the most to me slowed down and examined. I know that there's a lot I've yet to put down, the wonderful moments spent with my friends and nurses, and the extent of my recovery.

I now know that Twilight desired for this to be a letter to the Princess, my feelings turned into a friendship letter—which I can't even be mad about, as it has helped me relive these moments at a slower pace, and forced what I felt about them to become concrete as I wrote them down.

Sometimes, slowing down important moments evokes the feelings you should have felt then, or at least, just what it is you felt then. I still can't help but feel like a coward since life was thrust into my claws, while Scoots has been there the entire way, taking everything in stride. She always warded off my fears with her special kind of warmth, and we connected on a level I had never before achieved with Twilight.

Girls may be scary to me. Relationships' terrifying. But Scootaloo has always been there for me, and she deserves the same. Regardless of what happens next, if you're reading this, know that all of this writing has resulted in a single revelation to me.

I love you, Scootaloo, and you're worth taking the risk.

IV – I've Never Fallen in Love Before

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~ IV~

“I've Never Fallen In Love Before.”

Dust gathered atop the chain to the basement door, the key scratching against the metal as I inserted into the lock, before everything slinked to the ground in a heap of metal. I looked back to the basement, where I had been granted a safe place to process my thoughts, where nothing could harm me, but at the same time, nothing could be done or progress.

That basement was my comfort zone, something I stepped out from the moment I opened the door to the library. As I walked into the lobby, all the books and the shelves were bathed in dim light, giving them an alien feel. I didn’t know how much time had passed, only that a second more here, now, would be a waste.

I went to the door, my claw hovering just before the handle, before perspective froze me in place. Anything could be waiting for me outside, from two upset fillies seeking revenge, to a meteor feeling like I had become a traitor, and the whistling mares I still had no clue how to address.

But there was also Scootaloo, who had been braving worse changes by her lonesome, despite swearing I’d always be there for her. My claw gripped the handle to the door on its own, but I was the one who threw the door wide open.

My first step outside was in a dash, wings flaring open at the increased speed, before leaping into the air and taking flight. The side of a building awaited my hurling body, as I hadn’t gained enough height, but I simply flapped my wings all the harder, and soared up, up into the gray sky.

In a few moments, my cramped body was loosened by the thick winds, as I made my return to my second home. My first inhale was the freshest one yet, draining the haze clogging my mind with clarity, as my eyes scanned the horizon for anything bearing orange.

I flew for countless hours, to the point I was shivering and panting due to my lack of practice, but the dread that I somehow missed my opportunity with Scootaloo pained me far worse. I debated giving up for a moment, but I knew that was just my cowardice trying to make a last stand.

I shook my head; I needed to find Scootaloo.

Then, a familiar cloud came into view from below; one usually containing a napping cyan pegasus, but this time around, holding an orange mare that looked more like a filly.

Slowly, I made my descent on the cloud, retracting my wings the moment before my feet made contact on its surface. Scootaloo was huddled on the other end, so...small, that I almost didn’t recognize her.

“Scootaloo...is that you?” I said, stopping a few feet from her. Upon hearing my voice, I watched as the back of her head rose from the cloud, much to my enjoyment. “It is you! I was worried I’d fly the whole day, talk to everypony I could, and still not find you.”

I knew I must have sounded lame. I knew that I should have driven right into the core of what happened between us, of the reason why I was here, but I couldn’t help but still open up with stupid small talk.

Then, Scootaloo looked over her shoulder, staring at me with tears lining the corner of her eyes. My bumblings ceased immediately as I was once again reminded of the price of being a coward.

My face went blank as I stepped forward, reaching a claw out towards her. “Scootaloo...are you...are you crying?”

“Of course I’m not, you idiot!” Scootaloo wiped a hoof across her eyes, turning away from me as she faced the sky ahead. “The winds are just a bit stronger than usual. Those tears weren't from something stupid like me crying or anything like that.”

“I...see.”

“Anyway, I got things that gotta be done, so could you kindly buzz off?” Her wings fluttered to life, but I wasn’t going to let things end like this—I was done being a coward that let things happen around me. Before I knew it, my legs were dashing towards her, and in a moment, I was wrapping my arms around her barrel and keeping her locked in place.

She kicked and flared immediately, every struggle pricking my heart, as I tried to keep her wings pinned—something she didn’t like at all. “What in the hay are you doing!? Let. Go of me!”

“Not until you and I talk,” I managed out, loosening my grip enough to show her I meant no harm. For a moment, we panted in silence, before I spoke again. “Just...give me a few moments to apologize, to try and make things right. Then you can fly away to your heart’s content. Even call the Royal Guard on me.”

She never ceased to struggle even as I spoke, leading me to receive a few, well-deserved kicks to the stomach, some even to the groin. Still, I held her close, feeling her movements slowing down, waiting for the moment she became still. Then, I let her hop down onto the cloud, as I lowered myself to my knee, hovering my face just before hers. “Calm?”

“Once I fly away,” Scootaloo said, taking a few steps away from me. “So spit out whatever’s on your mind so we can be done with it.”

I couldn’t help but sigh as I sat back on the cloud. I was particularly happy that I had processed my feelings beforehand, because I don't think I would have been able to deal with my biggest fear coming true before my eyes if I hadn't. What made our relationship special was our ability to reveal our deepest core to each other, but because our cores now had to do with the other, our connection was now locked away at a superficial level.

And it would be up to me to return things back to normal, no matter how all this turned out. But...as eager as I was to cleanse myself of my dread, seeing tears still welling in her eyes was enough to see that whatever was causing them to be cleansed first.

“I know I promised to open up right away, but there's just something I have to know,” I said, injecting the utmost care into my voice while trying to keep it from cracking. “Why were you crying, Scootaloo?”

She didn't budge, but I wouldn't give up.

“You can tell me anything, Scootaloo,” I said once more, trying to scoot closer towards her. “Even if it might make me mad or sad, hurt me or anything like that—you can trust me with anything, and I'll just be a pair of ears if it helps.”

It took a few moments, and just one more time of asking. “Why were you crying, Scootaloo?”

“Because of you, you big dumbo!” She exclaimed as her face lit up in rage, though I was just glad to see it again. “Because I think I meet this guy I can finally trust, that I may actually like, only for him to disappear once things were getting started.”

“So you did like me then.”

“Of course I did! I would've broken the kiss the moment it started if I hadn't,” she said, turning away as her cheeks became pink. “I started to like you even before I took your bandages off, when you were still asleep in your hospital bed, and it would just be you and I silently together in a room—and as a new part of you was revealed, those feelings those intensified.”

“Scootaloo...”

“When it came to the stuff you only revealed to me, I felt as special as the day Dash started treating me like I was her younger sister,” Scootaloo said, rising to her hooves and daring to look at me again. “But it just made me so angry when I would see you walking back with those slew of mares, and if it weren't for that knowledge that we had of each other, I would have felt just like one of them.”

“I never knew...”

“That's because I never told you!” Scootaloo said as she came closer towards me, only realizing what she said a moment later as she looked away once again. “I never even told myself, because I'm a big dummy as well.”

“So you needed some time to think as well...”

“That's when I realized that despite our differences in personalities, I'd realized those things didn't really matter in the end,” Scoots said, staring off into the darkened horizon, as I joined her in doing so. It seemed being next to each other, but not seeing each other, always allowed us to communicate the best. “You may be a goof who's a little too insecure for his own good, but that's what I like about you, and how you always come up with the right thing to say to improve my situation, or at least, my mood.”

“Having you around always let me know that I wasn't alone, and your enthusiasm was always enough to give me the confidence I needed to make those post recovery decisions.”

That made her smile, for which, I was glad.

“Despite the girls and my friends, there are still times where I feel so alone, like an imposter among those around me. I feel like I don't belong, yet I find myself thinking of you, a dragon living among ponies, and I realized that you and I just clink on the feelings of being an outsider.”

“It's funny how I don't like such with you around.”

“Cut it with the corn, this is a serious moment.”

“I know," I said, "I'm sorry.”

“But to tell you the truth, hot-stuff, I liked you even before the bandages came off, even before you spoke with that new voice of yours.” She couldn't help but giggle. “Yet I can't lie and say that the looks don't add to the package—they defiantly made me look in the mirror and see if I was worth contending.”

“Trust me, Scoots, the whole messy mane thing has me beat by a long shot.”

“Liar,” she giggled, continuing. “You don't know how much improving I have to do to be worth it to you. There are so many mares out there, so better than me in almost every aspect, that'll take you on, and I wonder if that would be for the best.”

Scootaloo wiped another tear from her one eye. “I was worried, that maybe, you saw that and had already moved on.”

I was quick to wipe the tear from her other eyes. “If that was the reason you were crying, then please, cry no more.”

With a heavy sigh, I threw my arm around her and pulled her close to my side. Together, we sat at the edge of the cloud, and waited for the darkened horizon to clear the way for the light hidden behind it. Our conversation wasn't done, not by a long shot.

“You got me thinking about getting with other mares totally wrong,” I said as I did my best to ignore the warmth of her fur pressing against me. “Maybe it's because I've never been in one before, but actually entering into a relationship is enough to make my heart burst in fear. Seeing you in a new light had made me feel something that I had never seen before, and I was wrong to let that image scare me as much as it did.”

I could feel her body move as she looked up to me, but I struggled to keep looking forth into the clearing horizon. “Before my recovery, I was resistant to change because it made me vulnerable—it's not actually pretty to have wings shoot out of your body in a bloody mess. But it was because of that pain that I was put into that hospital with you, that the aching of my growing body allowed me to become equal with the girls, and that opening up about my fear of change allowed you and I to connect on such a deep level.”

Finally, I could resist it no longer, as I looked left to gaze into her purple eyes. “I was so scared of making myself vulnerable that I forgot that I had already done so before you. You told me yourself you already liked the Spike I had become, and that I had nothing to fear—that discovering our unknown futures would be a lot of fun side by side.”

I chuckled, slowly bringing my head down to hers. “And just like any other greedy dragon, I want more than just that. I want to see what you're like with a bed mane, to be with you with almost any chance I get, and to explore this strange new world with the strength of two hearts acting as one.”

“Spike?”

“Usually, I would need months of planning, of practicing before a mirror to try and get myself amped for something like this,” I took a deep sigh, bringing my face but mere inches away from each other. “But I've already made you wait long enough. If it's you, I'm willing to take the fall—but if...this, isn't something you want, then tell me now, and I'll forget about it all.”

My answers were lips touching mine. Deliberate and I guess romantic, if you could count the rays of light shining forth from the parting clouds a romantic touch. My other claw moved on its own to her other shoulder, bringing her close as our mouths opened—creating properly one of the most awkward kisses ever to be known.

But, for the life of us, we could not care less.

Once the sloppiness ceased, my back reclined into the cloud from the weight of my love on my chest. She curled up into a small ball as I held her close to me, both relishing in the contact, as we watch the sky take shape from our relaxed view.

“Hey, Spike?”

“Yeah, Scoots?”

“Let's make a promise.”

“What kind?”

“That we'll help each other improve, and when the day comes, you and I will leave this place to follow that blue sky to wherever it leads.”

“That's some time away.”

She rose a hoof, one I enveloped in the grasp of my claw. “I know, but if we're together, it should pass by rather quickly.”

“Touche.”

Just as we were about to cement our promise, a familiar warmth filled my chest as fire expelled out my lips. Scoots was quick to take cover as my flames took shape in the form of a letter, one I was quick to open to find out why our moment had been ruined.

Dear Spike.
I'll be coming in town tomorrow to have supper with you.
Please bring Scootaloo.
Love, Celestia.

“What does it say?”

I tossed her the letter, watching her face sink as she read it, before fixing me with a face that looked as if it was going to be banished. “Umm, so what exactly are we going to do, Spike?”

I fixed her smile that seemed to soothe some of her stress, before looking back up at the blue sky.

“This is just merely part of our promise, our second step.”