I – I've Never Kept a Diary Before
I Didn't Mean to Kiss Scootaloo
A story of change, written fearfully by B.
"I've Never Kept a Diary Before"
Change never frightened me until recently.
It's the reason why I'm writing this. Why I’m in the basement of the library, the doors chained shut, all to keep everyone away for just a little longer. The past few months have been like a blur, but the events responsible for changing me stand out, even if I didn’t fully comprehend them at the time. I’m going to do my best to document them here, so that I may better understand my hazy feelings on them, and give me the understanding I need to make a choice.
I should be able to cover the big stuff, but not the smaller details, should two fillies succeed in breaking down the doors and tearing my scales apart. In case that happens before I finish, then I would like to make the purpose of this paper clear, for you.
This is the story of how I got my wings, grew taller than those I used looked up to, watched hopelessly as my relationships began to shift, and became the center of attention for once—something I always wanted but hated upon having.
This is also the tale of how I met my best friend, and how we both learned to fly.
Scootaloo, if you’re reading this, then there's something I have to say. I never meant to hurt you, to steal something so precious from you. That kiss between us, it was because of some strange accident, but that doesn’t excuse how I just...ran away. You deserve the truth, to know my side of the story, what my honest thoughts and feelings were, but before I begin, there’s just one thing I need to tell you.
This was all the turtle’s fault.
The incident that created this whole mess happened a few months back, when I was still the number-one assistant to Twilight Sparkle, as we were still living together inside the Golden Oaks library at the time. My world was still normal then, waking up to cook for Twilight and me, cleaning around the library and sneaking in time for comics, hanging with the girls whenever I was allowed, and helping save the world once or twice.
My contributions tend to be a bit overshadowed by the accomplishments of the girls, but that’s never really bothered me, as there’s not much a baby dragon can do to be remembered. I mean, my biggest accomplishment in life is falling from a tower, and saving the day after being chucked like a spear by a Princess.
Just as long as I can be near the girls, to bask in the qualities that make each of them great in their own way, and even be acknowledged by them from time to time...that was always enough for me.
That is, until the day it wasn’t.
It was a late into the evening when it happened, with enough sunlight from the windows to still illuminate the dust on the library's shelves—the last chore to be done. I remembered my body on autopilot while my mind was alive with thought, as I gazed outside to where the girls were gathered.
They had looked so cool. Here were these awesome mares who just so happened to be the Elements of Harmony, though were always humble about it in the end—and yes, I even mean Rainbow Dash in a way. They were heroes that never wanted to be treated as such, while I would have probably basked in the glory.
Not only that, but the girls had proven themselves more than just elements. Each of them had dared to follow their dreams, facing each adversary head-on even when their flaws were put in front of them. That’s the things about the girls: they always try to improve upon what they think is wrong, while I would just grumble and complain.
But even if the girls weren’t the Elements of Harmony, even if they failed in their dreams, and even if they hadn’t saved the world, they would still be loved then as they are now. And that is because of the simple fact of who the girls are.
Applejack and Pinkie Pie. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. Twilight and Rarity. There’s something great in each of their personalities, something that draws others towards them, something I always wished I had.
Personality. Dreams. Talent. The girls always had everything they needed to become anything they wanted, something that I don’t think is true for everybody, especially myself. My personality was never as interesting or cool as theirs, no matter how much I tried to act like it was.
It was then that I realized what was missing. As I dusted the shelf inside the library alone and watched the girls have fun outside together, I knew that I didn’t compare, especially when they became a single group.
It seemed all I was good for in life was cleaning up and taking notes. A dragon like me should stay out of the way, and be thankful whenever the girls choose to bring me along.
But was that really all my life was going to be about? Admiring everypony else from inside a dusty library? All my choices in life had resulted with me still inside the library, and everypony else outside.
What would have to change for me to become like everypony else?
It seemed like everypony was changing. The girls always were, from becoming a Princess to joining the Wonderbolts—there was always room to improve with them. The Cutie Mark Crusaders had turned from fillies to young mares almost overnight, each bearing a striking resemblance to their mentors yet still their own ponies. And of course, like everypony else, they had to look down to make eye contact with me.
Why did everything change for everypony else? What did I have to do to have my growth spurt?
Was I doomed to forever be this inept baby dragon? To annoy ponies and try to not get in the way of others? Countless times I thought I’d found the answer to being great, by trying not to care and acting like the six would, but those ideas would come down crashing the very next day.
Because I did care too much. Because, no matter how much I wanted it to be so, I was not the girls. I was Spike the baby dragon, and it seemed that there was nothing around me that could change that. No pony’s advice would change that; not even my thoughts would change that.
Was it so bad to want to become a dragon that could stand not behind, nor ahead, but next to the greatness of the girls? To stand on the same merits as they did, continuing to improve ourselves together.
In the end, I would do anything to become my own dragon, and in a way, I got my wish that late evening. I wanted that change happening around me to happen to me finally, only to realize that it had to come out of me first.
Quite literally, in fact.
I felt my spine snap. My claws opened upon the sudden impact as the feather duster dropped to the ground. My eyes burned before I was aware I was even crying, finding out the horrible reason why a second later. The muscles in my back were stretching beyond their limits and tearing themselves apart, feeling though as something sharp was being pushed out from within them.
My eyes shot over to my wrist, enlarging ever slowly, as something was cutting at my every vein. I don’t know if I screamed at the pain, but I remember trying to call to the girls, to Twilight. The pressure in my back reached its horrible apex as it felt like blades shot out just below my shoulders.
Liquid splattered out of me, tainting the wood of the library with my agony, as I fell to my knees under the new alien weight. Then there was blood. My blood. Pooling around my feet and spreading in size.
Why was this happening? How was I still alive?
My vision became blurry. I raised the heavy weight that was my claws to my eyes one final time, seeing my light purple scales blur into an inky darkness, before I fell face forward into my own mess.
Twilight was going to be so mad at having to clean up after me.
Before my eyes closed against the growing pool, I heard my name called amongst the incessant ringing in my ears—my body now light and hollow as I no longer felt any pain...or anything else for that matter. My eyes then slipped closed just as six shadows hovered over me; my last act of consciousness was to smile for them.
I knew there was nothing they could do for me.
Spike the baby dragon was already gone.
I don’t know what happened to my body after that. I remember being asleep for a very long time—days, weeks, maybe even months passing me by. It was almost like I had died, that is, until I was brought back to life in a very strange dream.
My eyes opened to a current of wind cutting into me, its sudden whipping howls causing me to stumble backward on the strange flat plane. It took me a few moments to adapt to the change, squinting my eyes in order to see the world around me, only for them to widen in surprise.
The distant horizon looked like something straight out of a painting, a mixture of the darker shades of gold, surrounding me in a cavernous way.
A black mist layered the ground. Small wisps of the stuff danced upwards, swaying ever so slightly with the winds. Some of them even looked like tendrils, slithering through the air, before lightly wrapping themselves around my ankle.
I’d never felt anything so cold before. I quickly shook them off, breaking them back into mist in the process, only for more to sprout from its place. I left the strange things behind and moved towards the center of the space.
As I pushed through the winds, stepped through the mist at my feet, I couldn't help but be overcome by the surreal atmosphere. A familiar sensation began to creep down my back. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d been here before, in a similar type of dream long ago.
Soon, after a few moments of walking, the center of the sphere was before me. I stopped in place as something formed above me, and by the time I looked up, dark clouds had gathered over the center.
The wind then intensified ten-fold. Light began to shine above me, dimly emitting from within the particles of the black clouds, before shooting down like some sort of beam. The mist it landed on vanished upon contact. Inside the halo, its chamber looked so warm and inviting, while the winds continued to cut into me out here. The mist did not intrude into the light.
Against the pressure of the winds, I continued forward. Tendrils wrapped around my ankle again, tighter, as if they knew my desire, yet I broke them off with my every slow step forward. I knew I couldn’t stop, that hesitation would allow more of them to wrap around me, trapping me to forever wallow in this strange realm of nothingness.
Then, just like that, the weight holding me back vanished. The winds became soft as I finally made it to the glow before the chamber. I chuckled with relief, taking a moment to catch my breath, and gazing past the thin wall of light that separated me from inside the halo.
I became aware of a shadowy figure inside of it, small and unmoving. It began to move towards me, causing me to retreat a few steps, but I stopped when I started to feel the storm again, looking back to see that the strange place had grown darker.
I gulped and turned back, looking for the figure, until I heard someone clear their throat. I looked down.
A baby dragon stood before me, with purple scales and green spines, barely taller than my hip. Just like that, I realized my body felt different now than it did before this. Ever so slightly, I pulled my claw back from my eyes, examining the the darker purple scales that clung to it.
The baby dragon coughed into his claw again, gaining the attention of my peripheral view as he began to speak. His voice was like an echo.
“What took you so long?!” he said, raising his claws into the air as he stared up at me. “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for you? I get that the whole ‘sudden transformation’ may put you out of commission for a little while, but can you try thinking about others for once?”
I blinked rapidly as my mouth hung open, then, sound escaped from it. “Huuuh?”
“Gross!” The baby dragon waved the air around him while his other claw pinched his nose, turning his head away from me. “You’re lucky we’re in here, or else that breath would have killed the others.”
It seemed like I only had one way of expressing my confusion as I bent closer to him. “Huuuuh?”
His claw then slapped me across the cheek. “Seriously dude. Quit it!”
I rubbed my cheek just as he began to walk around me, until we were standing side by side, only I was still facing the beam, and he, the black storm. Silence reigned between us, only broken by sporadic whipping of the wind, as I finally rose to my full height.
I’m not sure how long we stood like that. My vision allowed me to look over at him, to the baby dragon that I was supposed to be, leaving me to wonder who and exactly what I was at the moment.
Baby Spike sighed. “Feels weird, doesn’t it? You and I, together somehow, for the first and last time—I wouldn’t be surprised if others thought you were my older brother.”
The winds howled again as my gaze never left him.
“But, of course, we’re not brothers, are we?” Baby Spike raised his head, staring off into the storm I couldn’t see. “Though I suppose I hold most of the hallmarks of a younger brother. I easily annoy others, want things only you’re now able to get, compare myself to you and feel inferior, have cruddy humor, and worry about the instincts you always feared.”
He nodded at the storm just a few feet away. “Repressing your greed in order to stop your growth—really didn’t work out in the end, did it? Not many dragons had to go through a sudden growth spurt like this, though, I suppose none of them got to say goodbye to their childhood like this either.”
I turned away from the light to face him. “Who...who are you?”
Baby Spike turned his head to looked up at me, body still facing the storm. “I am you, but you’re not me; at least, not anymore.” He drew a deep breath, closing his eyes. “It must have been a fun childhood, with memories you’ll never forget, but now’s the time to move on, Spike.”
“Move on?” I repeated, about to bend my knee, so we were on equal eye contact, but he shook his head at the gesture. I remained standing. “To where?”
“Somewhere better than here,” he said with a heavy voice, his eyes reopening, and his lips finally smiling. “You can only remain the same for so long before you begin to destroy yourself. You gotta move on to the next level.”
I let out a breath, before lightly shaking my head in frustration. “I still don’t get it.”
“Some things never change,” Baby Spike said with a chuckle, before his expression became serious. “But that’s what you were wishing against that landed you here. You’ve resisted change because you feared what it might do to you, until you finally realized just how much you needed it.”
My eyes trailed away from him. “I wanted to be more than what I was.”
“Exactly, but that’s not possible without change,” he said. “You had what it took to admit you needed to change, and now all pieces are in motion, but you’re still being held back—by your immaturity that pushed others away, by your cowardice that stopped you from doing what you needed to do, by your childish flaws that you need to outgrow.”
I felt something tug at my leg. I looked down to find him, standing directly before me, as we faced each other again. The light reached me just as the storm reached him.
“I am the thing that’s holding you back,” he said with a bittersweet smile, looking up to me, “I’m the thing you need to say goodbye to in order to move onwards.”
I shook my head. “But...what happens if I continued onwards?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Dunno what happens on the next level—never been there before. What I do know, is that you have to leave me and this storm behind if you go.”
An electrifying sensation caused my right claw to clench at the words. I was overcome with the urge to bow, to lower myself, to somehow close the distance between this baby dragon and me. I felt taller, bigger, and most terrifying of all, better than the baby dragon before me.
“I don’t understand why I should leave you, then,” I said as I stood at my full height,, though I refused to raise my head and break eye contact with him. “There’s no reason to go to this next level if it means leaving you behind.”
“You’re not leaving me behind though.” The baby dragon said to me, casting a glance to the chamber he had left, with me doing the same a beat after. “It’s impossible to leave behind a part of who you are. All you’re doing is letting go of who you used to be, and discovering what awaits you next.”
I didn’t have anything to say. I simply looked back to the chamber that was meant for me behind that thin wall of light.
The black mist was pressing towards us now, I knew it, for it was slowly dimming the light we stood upon, but for whatever reason, he didn’t look scared. All Baby Spike did was glance at me one final time over his shoulder.
He turned back to the storm.
“We’ve already made promises we couldn’t keep, jokes we shouldn’t have made, choices we shouldn’t have done, and prices we were too cowardly to pay.” I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or the abyss; I listened anyway. “So no more words. Whatever you choose to do, whatever you wish to become, I’ll only believe you once you’ve made a choice and carried it through, not by what you say.”
The end of the dream was here. My other self stared into the nothingness without fear, while I shivered and looked to the warmth of the thin walls of light. I then made my decision, one that required courage and I knew to be right.
I felt like a coward anyway.
I stepped past the walls and into the chamber, overcome with warmth and concealment away from the storm. The ringing in my ears ceased as my body no longer felt hollow; as if being filled. For a moment there was peace, before the chamber lost all gravity and I began to float upward into the shining light.
I flailed at first, shooting my claws in every direction to reach for something, but nothing could stop me from ascending. My eyes then fell upon the world outside my heaven, the little dragon flashing me one last smile, before falling forward into the nothingness.
I never saw his body again as the storm took him. As the lights blinded my vision, I could swear that the storm had finally ceased, and the nothingness returned. I looked back to the blinding light I was being raised towards, and when my body had merged with it…
...my eyes finally opened for the first time in a long while.
Beep.
Something beeping.
There was something beeping, somewhere from the left of me. My eyes cracked open, pupils made sensitive by the darkness of a long sleep, momentarily blinded by the light hanging over my bed.
Everything was blurry. My body ached. Dim sunlight filtered through the window to the right of me. I took my first conscious breath; it felt more like a gasp for air.
Where was I?
Then, there was a voice, its humming filling the air as I heard pages flick. My muscles loosened on learning I wasn’t alone in this white, sterile room, but I don’t think they knew their humming had brought me back to life.
Which is why I wanted to cry when the humming stopped. I turned my head left on the pillow, gazing out to the orange blur across from me.
“...please…” My vocal cords strained to produce the sound, ready to tear themselves apart, but wallowing like this in silence was a far more painful sensation. The orange blur squeaked as it shot upward, the chair scraping against the floor, as I could hear the sway of its mane as its head shot around...coming to rest upon me a moment afterward.
The blur landed back on the ground, as I forced myself to speak once again. “...keep...humming...”
It gasped. Hooves clopped. A door creaked open then shut.
I turned my head back; I was alone again.
It wasn’t so bad though, being alone. There was some noise to keep me occupied, like the sporadic hisses of the sun and the low sways of the ceiling fan. I tried to think but was too tired to do so. Just lying here, I was reminded of the library, how I would spend the afternoons cleaning in silence, just wishing someone else was there with me. I didn’t mind the silence; I just didn’t want to be alone.
A door swayed open in the distance.
“He totally spoke!” A voice said, apparently to another, as I heard every clop of her hooves, far more numerous than whoever she was talking to. “I was going through one those magazine, the boring ones that hospitals like to leave, when all of a sudden I heard him speak. I didn’t even know I was humming until he told me so!”
The other pony gave a huff as their voices grew louder. “Look, Scootaloo.” She took a breath. “I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, I really do, but trying to get somepony’s hopes up is just going to have the opposite effect.”
Scootaloo gave a huff of her own.
“C’mon, don’t give me that,” the other continued, the clopping of their hooves stopping just next to my bed. “Spike’s been out for almost a month, and it’ll probably be another before he’s even able to open an eye. That’s just the way it is.”
“But I’m telling you the truth, Twilight!” Scootaloo exclaimed her name, finally cause me to inch my head left to look at them. “I heard him talk!”
Twilight’s face hovered above the railings to my bed, her head tilted down by an inch, so she could look into the teenage mare’s eyes. It had been a while since I’d last seen Scootaloo, and seeing her now, almost as tall as Twilight almost frightened me—but not as much as the expression on Twilight's face.
There were bags under her eyes, bigger than I’d ever seen on her before, as they were blacker than any of the ones her late-night studying gave her. Patches of dirt marred across her lavender coat, like she had been sleeping on the floor, as her fur fuzzed upward from days unbrushed.
I’d seen Twilight study for a test the night before, spend a day dedicated to an assignment, a week obsessed over a task given by a Princess, and a month trying to finish some great, yet unfinished theory. I was always there for Twilight at her worst, yet I never saw strands of her mane shoot off into so many different directions before.
What could she possibly be so obsessed over that she end up like this?
The room started to become less blurry, my eyes blinking to adjust, before gazing past the two mares to the corner of the room, where a wall was supposed to be. I guess there was a wall, a wall of books stacked high enough to reach the ceiling...with a lot of dirt and dust gathered around it.
I still didn’t get it. Why would Twilight want to study in the same room as a comatose...dragon…
...oh no.
It all then came together, even though I wish it didn’t, as I knew why my body ached, and why her eyes were so red, with dried blood still stuck to her coat The corner of my eyes began to burn. I felt weak again, the world growing blurry once more, but I forced myself wake, just long enough to strain my vocal cords again.
“...Twi...light…”
The two faces froze in place, blinking at the sudden voice, realizing that the other hadn’t spoken. Then, their heads slowly turned towards me, until I was finally able to make eye contact with them, just as my eyes were slipping closed.
“...see?..not...dead…”
I passed out a moment later.
The ringing in my ears wouldn’t stop. I knew that some time had passed, but thankfully, it felt like only a couple hours at best. My eyes took a few flutters to get open, adjusting to the sudden light above my head quicker than before, as my vision lost most of its blurriness.
There were a few more faces in the room than last time. Twilight and Scootaloo stood on the right side of the bed, their mouths moving though I couldn’t hear anything. My gaze then shifted left, where a light brown unicorn was pacing left and right as he spoke back, the door to the room still open behind him.
He was saying something to the girls, something very important to him, but whatever it was caused Scootaloo’s face to scrunch up. Her upper body flew over the railings of my bed as she yelled something back at him, before she was gently pulled back by a lavender hoof.
Twilight smiled at the smaller mare, coming to whisper something into her ear, before losing that smile as she looked back to the doctor. Scootaloo could only huff, rolling her eyes at whatever the two were arguing about, before her gaze wandered down to me.
I think she was more surprised at making eye contact than I was.
Her violet eyes widened, never breaking our contact as we held our breaths. She stretched her hooves, one to tug on a lavender wing, the other to point at me. Twilight kept talking, too focused on the doctor to look away, until finally, after a few too many tugs, cut whatever she was saying in half, and looked to where the younger pony was pointing.
The aching in my body hurt less when our eyes finally met.
Twilight didn’t say anything at first, just standing there as we stared at each other in silence, not quite sure what to say or do. Then the tears came, the corner of my eyes burning, as I could see the same was true of her. Without wasting a second, she trotted to the head of the bed, raising up onto her hind hooves as she began to hover over me.
Her face filled my vision, her lips in a wobbly smile, before she closed her eyes and leaned closer to me. Her forehooves passed over my shoulders, hugging the back of my neck gently, as I felt her fur brush against whatever was covering my face. Her coat cursed whatever scales I had exposed above the blanket, but even then, it felt like something was covering me there as well.
I winced at the alien weight, something that she picked up on and immediately pulled back, much to my chagrin. I wanted to hold her close, to feel that I wasn’t alone, because, for the first time in a while, I was allowed to feel scared. Scared that I had almost died, of losing myself in such a surreal way, and waking up in a place I’d never been to before.
I just wanted Twilight to hold me close, for her to whisper that everything would be okay, and gently explain all that had happened while stroking my fins. I’d been wanting her to do that even before the incident, when I was silent about my dread.
My claw stirred underneath the sheets, trying to lift itself up so that it could wrap around her neck, and pull her close like how I needed her to be. But my body was too weak to even move an inch, and I was too scared to tell her what I really wanted.
So we stayed like that, even though I wanted more.
Twilight then lowered her lips next to my ear, maneuvering herself carefully around my bandaged body. She gave a shaky breath before speaking. “You don’t know how glad I am...to see that you’re okay.” Her voice cracked at the end.
I may not have been able to move my claw, but I could still clench it in anger. Seeing Twilight sad has always had that effect on me, because it felt like I had failed to assist her in the way she needed me to. But now, I was the reason why she was sad, why she worked herself to look so terrible—just what kind of number-one assistant does that?
I opened my mouth to speak, to make sure that she was okay, and not to worry about me because I would be okay. It’s funny, now that I think about it, then when it came to consoling others, I was no longer scared about myself. But before I could say any of this, a lavender hoof placed itself on my lips, as its owner pulled back to offer me yet another smile—not so wobbly this time around. “Try not to talk, okay? Your body is still adjusting to all the sudden changes, so please, just, relax, and don’t strain yourself with anything.”
I would have joked about how the tables were turned if I wasn’t deeply touched by her gesture. I simply nodded my head, something that caused her smile to become concrete, before pulling back her hoof. We continued to stare at each other, probably surprised at how different we now looked to each other, and just how much time had passed between us.
Then, almost with a frown, she turned around and faced the doctor.
“We’re going to continue this outside.”
The doctor sighed impatiently. The thing is, even though I wasn’t supposed to talk, I wanted to tell Twilight that he had been watching us, or rather, staring at every little movement that I made. Ultimately though, the doctor nodded in agreement to her suggestion, and Twilight began to walk to the door.
The doctor followed her a few steps, coming just before the door, before looking over his shoulder to glare at me. I still remember how his blue eyes reminded me of ice at the moment, with a gaze cold enough to make me shudder from underneath the blanket.
But that wasn’t even the worse part.
It felt like his gaze had ripped my blanket away, tearing off whatever it was that covered most of my body, and picked at everyone one of my scales until I was truly naked before his eyes. Then he looked deeper, to all the things I suppressed and hid, and exposed it all to himself.
I’ll never forget that look, the one he gave me after seeing deep into who I was. The doctor looked forward again, not surprised to find that the two mares on either side had been watching him, as he walked out of the room with his head still held high.
Twilight closed her eyes immediately afterward and shook her head, while Scootaloo crossed her arms and huffed, before the two became aware that my gaze was still focused in their direction. Their unpleasant expressions transitioned quickly into calming smiles.
“Hey, Spike?” Twilight said slowly, taking a step towards me. “There are a few matters I have to discuss with the hospital staff outside.” She phrased every word carefully, like she was worried she’d overload my brain and fry it. I know there was no way for her to know what my mental state was like, but being treated like a baby again kinda sucked.
If only I knew she was doing that for another reason.
“So try and grab some more shut eye, okay?” she said. “When you wake up, we might...have a few questions to ask you, but they’re only to make sure that you’re okay, alright?”
I tried to give her a nod, but my neck objected to any movement after that hug we shared. Twilight seemed to understand my intent anyway, flashing me a soft smile before she turned to leave.
Scootaloo began to trot behind her out the door, coming to a stop at its threshold. Then, she just stood there, unmoving, leaving in suspense. I half-expected her to just flash me a grin over her shoulder like how Rainbow Dash would, but what I got instead was infinitely better.
Scootaloo inhaled sharply, began to spin around, rose unto her hind legs, struck a hoof up as high as she could manage, and pointed directly at light of a ceiling bulb. She then offered me a grin, the likes of which I had never seen before. “Don’t sweat a scale, Spike! I promise that doctor will think twice before looking at you like some sort of monster.”
Monster? That word rang incessantly in my mind long after she left. It made me feel so empty and afraid, not at the thought facing a monster, but in becoming one. I had spent years denying my greed to the point I was repressing my very own growth, all in that fear of unleashing that monster inside me, as I had done so easily long ago. Was that what the doctor saw? A monster?
I tried clearing my mind and closing my eyes, but I don’t think any of that helped me fall back asleep.
“...Spike, are you still with us?...”
My eyes cracked open again, the whiteness of the room almost as blinding as the lights. No longer was there the warmth of sunlight bathing my body, causing me to see that the blinds to the window were for some reason pulled. It took a few moments to come to on my own, but when I did, I saw Twilight standing just to the left of my bed.
My gaze traveled past her, to where the doctor loomed in the back of the room, a guard standing on either side of him. For whatever reason, they stood at attention with arms in their hooves—something I’d never seen in a hospital before. I then became aware that Scootaloo was standing before the trio, almost yelling in their faces.
“What part did you numbskulls not understand? I already told you that he’s okay!” She drew a breath, butting her head into the annoyed face of the doctor. “In case you haven’t noticed, he’s already talked to Twilight and me, so all this testing is just pointless!”
The doctor shook his head, causing the glasses he wore to slide down the bridge of his nose, before raising them back into place with a touch of his hoof. “That is not sufficient evidence to conclude that he is not already lost. You must understand, little filly, that if something other than your friend is lurking in that shell, that now is the only time to ensure that repeat will not happen.”
He had spoken with an air of finality, but, being Rainbow Dash’s disciple, Scootaloo continued to bicker at the anyway. My focus on them was pulled away by the soft hoof cradling my cheek, my eyes trailing along their length until I met eyes with Twilight.
“Still hanging in there?”
I cleared my throat to quell the burning sensation I felt there, before giving a nod of the head. That made her smile, but then, a moment after, she sighed. “This must all be pretty confusing for you huh?“
I didn’t need to nod for that one.
“If it’s any consolation, I’m... sorry, Spike, for not having a chance to explain any of this to you. Your incident entailed a lot of sudden changes, some of which not even I have my head around.” She placed her hoof on my limp claw, tracing along my forearm over the sheets. “We were so worried, that maybe, you had entered your hibernation early to make up for your stunted growth, but you should be glad to know that you were only asleep for only a month.” I wasn’t expecting for her lips to stretch into a grin. “And here I thought I had told you not to take long naps.”
I somehow managed a chuckle, which caused her to giggle with delight.
“Buuut I’ll let you off the hook just this once, mister,” Twilight ended the smile that suited her best, momentarily closing her eyes, before they burst back open in excitement. “Besides, that would subtract from the fact that your body has experienced it first natural growth spurt!” She couldn’t help but glee, eyes alight with that familiar mania of the studious, and I knew exactly who she was so excited to study.
That’s something I’ll always love about Twilight. I could be stranded in my own body with no idea who or what I am, and yet, Twilight can still assure me that some things never change. The thought alone gave me confidence, the will to do the thing I’d been dreading most since I’d woken up, and that was to find out what exactly what had become of my body since the incident.
With a painful gulp, my gazer carried downward, where I could see the outline of my body through the blanket. It hurt, but I was able to move my claw, just enough raise the blanket slightly, and peak inside…
...only to find a field of white bandages covering every scale on my body. I dropped my grip on the blanket with a huff, before my eyes settled on something I hadn’t quite believed—even when it was shown to me in that dream.
My feet were almost hanging off the end of the bed.
“Guess you weren’t lying about drinking your milk after all, heh.” The cheesy joke drew my attention back to her, finding that her faced lacked its former excitement. “The doctor...well, I suspect that you’re going through a dragon’s version of puberty, so you should expect some changes not only in your body, but in your mind as well.”
Twilight looked over he shoulder afterward, settling on the two that were still bickering in the back of the room. For just a second, I saw Twilight look incredibly sad about something, and I began to grow worried as well. Had something else changed while I was asleep?
Just as quickly as she turned away, Twilight was looking at me again with the faux excitement I knew far too well. “That’s why the doctor is going to ask you a few questions. I want you to answer them honestly, no matter what, and I promise that none of us will get mad, okay?”
The words were soothing, but that effect was ruined by the undertone. It was like it suggested I had some something horribly wrong. But I didn’t remember a thing since my supposed death—had I done something in my sleep that I didn’t remember?
I wasn’t given time to think about such things before Twilight rose from the stool she had been sitting on. She offered me this hopeful smile, one that seemed ready to break at any moment, before she turned around and walked towards the doctor, who stopped bickering with Scootaloo to exchange a few words with her.
Then, he looked in my direction, his gaze still as cold as ever, before he nodded to Twi and began walking towards me. He passed by Scootaloo, who was yelling something at him, though the two guards stood in her path.
The doctor then stopped before my bed, looking down at me from behind those glinting frames. “May I take a seat?”
Before I could even think to give him a nod, the doctor had already picked up the stool, let it scratched across the floor as he dragged it directly next to my bed, before sitting down on it. There was a hiss as his horn became alive with magic, a gray aurora manifesting atop the bedside table, levitating both a clipboard and a pen to his side.
“Let us begin...Spike.” He began to flip through the pages on the clipboard as the pen clicked into action. “It says on your admittance that you were found by your friends, lying in the center of a library with blood gushing out from your back, where you were then rushed straight away to the nearest hospital.” The clipboard floated left, allowing for us to make eye contact again. “Quite a spontaneous event to occur out from nowhere, wouldn’t you agree, Spike?”
I kept silent.
“Our understanding of dragon kind is still rather scarce, even in our day and age, as most ponies would agree. Hard to make a study of the very same creatures trying to roast you for a meal.” The pen scratched across the page as we continued to stare at one another. I hadn’t said or done anything yet, so I had no clue what he was writing about—or even what this whole thing was about.
And that worried me with the incessant fear that I had done something wrong, something that I didn’t mean to do. Why was I always screwing things up when I never meant to?
“Luckily for us ponies, however, we ended up finding a dragon to study upon, one that hadn’t yet brought us any destruction, a baby dragon named Spike.” My gaze traveled right of the doctor, back to the corner of the room, where standing behind the guards were Scootaloo and Twilight. Scootaloo was still snickering something under her breath, and when I attempted to make eye contact with Twilight, she gave me a sad look before turning away.
“It seems most of our knowledge on dragons stems from you. Numerous ponies, your Twilight included, have done studies on you, how a dragon acts and grows, their way of life among pony kind.” For whatever reason, his lips grew into a sinister smile, or maybe that was the way how he always smiled. “It may not feel as such, but pony kind is relying on you to make crucial assumptions on dragons, and we wouldn’t want for what they have to publish to be based on false material, do we?”
I looked back to him, clearing my throat. “I...guess?”
“Good! Very good,” he said, pen scratching against paper, for some reason reminded me of all the letters and lessons I had written for the girls, before the pen stopped. “Now, could you be so kind as to regale the moments before you collapsed? Any prominent thoughts or urges would be very useful to know of for our studies.”
Ever since I woke up, I’d been trying to not think about the contents of my dream, even more so for the event that kicked off the whole mess. My body was already aching all over, and I had no intention of inviting agony back into it. But the doctor's subtle glare told me I didn’t have a choice.
I sighed through the opening made for my lips, my vision fading to the memory of that day. “I remember walking home...the girls were in front of me...talking about how much the town had changed.” I inhaled deeply. “Of the buildings being constructed and torn down...of the fillies and colts, now mares and stallions...and how I was the only thing to have remained the same.”
It felt weird to have someone else write down what I was saying, even if it felt like they were going to use my own words against me. I had spent most of my life writing down the words of others, so was it so terrible to feel great that whatever I was saying was worthy of being put to paper? That my words had some sort of inherent value?
“I see,” the doctor said, pulling the pen an inch away from the clipboard, before glancing back to me. “Please, continue.”
In the background, I could see that Twilight turned her head back towards me, her eyes filled with silent questions. I knew that I had stirred guilt within her, something I didn’t mean to do, but didn’t have the time to quell. I turned my head away from her, away from all of them, as I stared into the light above my bed.
“Once we had made it back into the library, I decided to retire inside first—get an early start on my chores and all that—while the girls continued to chat about change outside,” I managed to get out, swallowing back the irritation in my throat. “I tried dusting around the library to get mind off the talks of change, but, try as I might, I couldn’t help but picture everything that was changing around me.”
The doctored snickered, yet as I glanced at him, it seemed he had done so more to himself than to me. My eyes drifted back upward as he began to talk. “A lack of change, or too much of it, is known to create resentment in ponies, maybe even more so in dragons. It can create an urge to sought after change...did any such urges become you?”
“A little,” I said, my body beginning to feel distant like it had the day of. “All I could do was think about how much I wanted to change, to become more, to become better, that the world became blurry as I lost control over my body.”
“That is quite alarming to hear indeed,” the doctor said, catching him inch backward in the corner of my eye. “Do you feel the same sensation as you talk to us now? Do you feel that your body is operating independently of itself; your mind a hostage to a particular numbness?”
My throat felt sore as my body shivered.
“Well?”
I blinked as I looked at him, he seemed closer than what my eyes were telling me.
“You two, come closer,” the doctor said, head turned towards the guards, both of which coming to either side of him a moment later. My heart leaped at their arrival, and I didn’t know why. “Keep a close eye on him. You know what to do should his restraints break.”
Restraints?
He turned his head back to me. “Now then, Spike, are you still with us?”
I wasn’t able to move my head, but my eyes looked up and down in conformation.
“Good. Now then, before you had collapsed, had there been anything on your mind?” he asked. “Had there been some thought you were struggling with? An image of a pony who had been getting on your nerves? Was there some emotion or sensation you were fighting to get rid of?”
“No,” the words came out as a pained groan as a sharp intake of air quickly followed. I didn’t understand why the room was starting to close in on me, why I had felt like I’d done something horribly wrong, and left with these strange ponies. “I was just...wanting something.”
The doctor slowly shook his head at me. “Oh no, that grieves me to hear.” He set his peg against his clipboard, looking at me more intently from behind his glasses. “You should know better than anyone that the desires of a dragon become the fears of the ponies. I’m sure you know the full affliction on ponies through the extent of a dragon’s greed.”
And then it clicked. My claws were bound by more than just bandages. How my legs were tied down to the bed. I thought my inability to move was to minimize the injuries to my joints, but it was to restrict any further damage I could to do to the town, again.
“You’re telling me...that my wanting to be better made me into a monster again!” I could feel my throat almost bleed in being used to shout once more, but I did not care, as I shook in my bed. “That by wishing to be more, I unleashed that side of me again!”
My bed began to tremble as a clenched my claws into my palm to delegate the pain. I felt a growl ravage my throat, though I did not care. The doctor leaped off from his seat and quickly backed from in-between the two guards.
“It was still a greed relapse all along!” he proclaimed in a shrill cry, pointing a hoof at me. The ends of the guard's polearms changed as they hit the floor. “He is losing control once more! Seize him! Seize him with whatever means it takes!”
The guards blew air through their nostrils, raising their arms into the air, and taking a stance that resulted with their blades pointed at my shaking body. I heard the cry of Scootaloo’s voice, and the hoofsteps of a Princess, but the sharp ends were already coming down upon me.
But that fact did not bother me so much. The one that did was how I had managed to destroy my home for the second time. How I had lost control of myself again, after swearing never to do so again. I’m not sure when I had begun to cry, but the thought that I had hurt those I hold dear once more made any further pain, even my death, all that much more bearable.
The blades never touched my scales. The stoic faces of the guards did something they were not supposed to do: they blinked. They blinked once more, and were frozen in place by a crying drake.
Twilight was quick to put herself between the weapons and me, extending out her hooves, and looking up to the two guards with a determined gaze. “I can’t believe you two would attack a defenseless dragon! By order of the Princess, I command you all to leave this room at once!”
The doctor gazed blankly back at her from the other side of the room, shaking the fear out from his head, before stepping forward with similar determination. “That dragon has the potential to be anything but helpless. Can’t you see that the dragon has progressed to the next stage of his greed, that one more stunt, and he’ll lay siege to this town once more, just as he did years ago!?”
Something hard gripped around Twilight’s arms. She gasped, feeling the pressure build, and turned around to see Spike holding her. There was a glint in his eye, one born from the fire within it.
For a moment, she looked just as worried as the doctor.
“Twi...Twilight?” I said her name as if I had hurt her in more ways than one. I lessened the grip of my claws as a torrent of tears poured from my eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt anypony...I didn’t mean to become a monster again...I never wanted to hurt this town again...I’m sorry I hurt you…”
I don’t know how many more apologies I wheezed out, and how many more I would’ve, had Scootaloo not thrown herself back into the scene. She too threw herself not in-front of the guards, but into them – pushing them back a foot. “Just what do you knuckle-heads think you’re doing!? Hurting a dragon who's already crying, just who do you think you are?”
The guards weren’t sure how to respond to the assault, much less the smaller mare’s words. They took a few steps backward, but she closed the distance between them.
“And don’t just say you were taking orders, because even if he were the doctor to prescribe the medication to save my life, I still wouldn’t do a thing he says.”
The guards blinked in confusion as the doctor flew forward from between them, his face hovering high above hers, though he stayed in their safety. “Just who do you think you're talking to little Missy? That dragon has been a threat in the past, and we must do all that we can to ascertain if he'll be one in the future!”
“Pfft.” Scootaloo dismissively waved a hoof. “This is Spike we're talking about here. The dude's a wimp!”
I was too lost in believing I had destroyed the town once again to notice the hit I had taken to my ego. Twilight was quick to fix a look over her shoulder at Scootaloo, who quickly winced upon feeling the weight of the gaze.
“I admit that the dragon is by no means close to others of his kind,” the doctor said, another blow I had failed to see at the time. I could only hope that Twilight fixed him a glare. “But there's always the chance he can relapse into his greed.”
“The dude said he'd never go greed mode again!” Scootaloo was quick to fire back. It was if as passion itself had overtaken her, as she looked so alive and so fierce as she stood her ground and stared up at the doctor. I'd be a fool to say that that passion was meant for me, I knew that she was just getting caught up in the moment, a moment that could have been directed to any other good cause. Still, my heart felt funny at the thought of her showing such passion for me. “And I'd believe it even if I didn't hear him say it! Seriously, it's impossible to get the guy anything for his birthday 'cuz the guy stopped accepting gifts!”
“So the dragon stops accepting gifts,” the doctor said, snorting, “and you think that's reason enough to absolve him of all suspicions? That there's no way, his current growth-spurt wasn't caused by his greedy nature?”
“I'm not saying it's impossible that's the case,” she said, shaking her head. “But I know that Spike would never bring harm to other ponies if he had a choice. Even if there was something he wanted, he knows better now than to turn into a greedy beast to get it.”
“I have to agree,” Twilight finally said as she began to leave my bedside. I still held onto her arm; I didn't want her to leave me. She flashed me a smile, shushed my sobs gently with her lips, and slipped out from my grasps, before turning to the others in the room. “This test was to ascertain whether my assistant possesses full control over his mental functions. At this point, I think we all know the answer to that.”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo said looked at Twilight, before turning to the others. “All your dumb test managed to do was make Spike think he had destroyed the town, again. Isn't that enough for one day?”
She turned and walked towards me. My sobs had died down in order to listen to the conversation at hand, though my vision was still watery. In a second, her orange body was clambering over my bed's railing and onto the mattress on which I laid.
Scootaloo looked down at me with a grin, and for a moment, I thought she was going to give me one of her signature platitudes. But then something odd happened. I took the extra moment to gaze into the features of her face, and it appeared she did the same to whatever wasn't hidden behind the bandages.
The overhead light of the room was naught but a shining halo eclipsed by her smiling face. I had seen her smile numerous times before, but there was something different about this one. It felt as though it was a smile meant for me and me alone at that moment. It was managed to soothe my whimpers and put to rest the shivers that lingered in my body.
Then her face came closer to mine.
It should as no surprise to the readers of this journal, that I, Spike, had never had a mare stare at me so intently — besides of course my mother and sister. So even as my mind was ravaged by the images of a burning town, my heart aching with those whom I had harmed, all that was coursing through me ceased at her closing muzzle.
And then, she lifted an orange hoof, and wiped away the tears underneath my eyes. She flicked them away. “There's no need cry and get sappy on us, Spike. You did nothing wrong.”
Her forehooves passed by either side of my head, carefully maneuvering themselves down my shoulders lest she provoked my wounds. Then, I felt her body pressed slowly against my bandaged one, yet I still felt her soft fur caressed my smooth scales.
I couldn't move my head, yet it still pressed against the crook of her neck. She didn't smell of anything in particular, but that I didn't mind, as feeling the rise and fall of her chest against mine painted a euphoric sensation that I'll never be able to describe.
She pulled back a little; her lips coming next to my ears. “Nothing happened Spike, nothing happened. You passed out, and there was a lot of blood, but everything is okay now.”
I tried to raise my arm to pull her closer against me, but my joints were still too weak. It was probably a good thing too, because I'm sure she would've objected. I was just glad to know that I hadn't destroyed the town again, that I wasn't in pain because I deserved it, and during the course of my recent loneliness, that there was still another pony who cared enough to console me.
I heard the voice resume from across the room.
“I'm not declining your request to do more work on him,” it was the voice of Twilight, tired and annoyed, like how I'd used to find her in the morning after a long study session. “But it's quite obvious that he's not a threat to himself nor other equines. I'm sure Spike will be willing to answer your questions if you phrase them a bit more nicely this time, but he still needs a few days to recover and process what has happened.”
The doctor furrowed his brow. “So be it.”
The three stallions turned away from the mare, trotting out of the room with one of their heads held high, before offering a departing message. “If anything vital comes out of his processing, you'll be sure to let us know, correct?”
The doctor turned around just as his horn lit in a gray glow, the same sphere of magic surrounding the handle of the door. “You wouldn't want us to be tardy in our status update to Celestia on her favorite dragon, do you?”
The door slammed shut, but I wasn't sure if it was the magic or Twilight's hooves that closed it first. Either way, she stared and slightly panted as she watched the silhouettes disappear from her view. At the same time, Scoots had jumped in shock to the sound, and her hooves brushed against something foreign upon my back.
I couldn't help but yelp, drawing the attention of both mares.
Scootaloo took a guilty look, releasing a guiltier chuckle. “Sorry.” Maybe it was because my grief had been stricken away, or perhaps it was because of the distant hoof-steps coming closer — Scootaloo's smile revered back to her trademark grin, and her hooves left my back.
“I guess I should have been more careful with your new additions.”
“...additions?”
Both mares at my bedside flashed me a grin. I felt another surge of pain through the alien objects on my back, trying my best to look over my shoulder at them, but my neck wouldn't budge an inch.
But I felt something there. Something that painfully protruded from my back and pushed into the mattress of my bed. I couldn't quite say what they were, but it felt almost like bones had popped out from my back.
Finally, they threw me into the loop. Scootaloo unfurled her wings, gave a slight flutter, before hovering in the air around my bed. I had almost forgotten she could now fly, and that her wings were not that of a chicken.
“It was so cool that my wings grew just in time with my growth spurt,” she said, slowing down by Twilight's side, before landing on the sterile ground with her hooves. “I don't think I could imagine riding that scooter around everywhere. Just like how I don't think you'll be able to ride Twilight's back anymore.”
My mind had been too preoccupied with my grief to even focus on myself. My eyes gazed down the length of my body, or at least as far as the wrapped bandages went, and notice indeed I wasn't close to the height I was before my slumber. I looked at Twilight, who merely shrugged her shoulders, then giggled.
“But maybe if you're super nice,” Scootaloo began, “Rainbow Dash will show you the ropes and get you off the ground. You're probably at that age where you should be getting at places by yourself anyway.”
I still wasn't getting it. Why would I go to Rainbow Dash for anything but flying? Then the idea struck, and I tried flexing the odd objects upon my back, and felt them unfurl just a tiny bit. The sensations made perfect sense, though I didn't want to get my hopes up.
The two seemed to pick up on my surprise.
“That's right, now I'm not the only chicken that learned out to fly!” she exclaimed, looking at me with excitement twinkling in the corner of her eyes.
“So hurry up and heal up — I wanna see what your wings are like underneath all those bandages!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.029 seconds
Total duration
1,082 users online
1,849,788 hits today, 1,822,946 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Too much of a lazy cunt to edit this.
I've never been more honored, sir.
So why don't they request a different doctor? On whose orders were the guards even there? Why did they obey the doctor instead of waiting for orders from the Princess that was in the room in them? And as a minor question: Why was Scootaloo there but no one else? Granted, the time frame was unclear for obvious reasons, but were none of their other friends informed that he was awake?
I mean, I like the story so far, but there are some logical hiccups and the doctor seems like too much of a one-note villain. Hopefully we can get the character stuff going soon. I like the character stuff so far, and am eager to see more of it.
Really good so far, nice and thorough, definatly following this!
You good sir have my attention. Keep working.
8408382 well, that's too bad. This is a good premise, but the spelling mistakes kinda break the immersion for me.
So, please edit it. For me?
8408382
Well at least you're aware of it. This is cute, but without editing I can't offer an upthumb.
A fun read
Ok I really like this one
Interesting. The one chapter so far definitely lives up to my expectations and beyond though! Great writing, though a few minor mishaps here and there, nothing too big.
8408446
Congrats buddy! Ehehehe!
Interesting, but why in the world is Spike under the care of THAT doctor? It seems pretty clear Spike's health can't be trusted with him, physically or mentally. Considering it's been a month, you'd think they probably would've been able to get one of the best.
Huh, what do you know, it got featured.
8408382 Hello, B_25. Your words amuse me.
While the minute details such as misspellings of occasional words may task one's immersion in your story, I would offer the opinion that it is still well-written. Granted, there is one section that, in essence, seemed jarring in its execution.
I speak, in essence, of the sudden shift to the third person perspective in the midst of what had been previously framed as a first-person retrospective account. This may not be the only thing you would wish to edit, should your condition of being "a lazy cunt" change in the near future, but it is the only portion that I feel holds the highest priority.
I wish you good day, mood, and luck.
~ Mad Man Moon
What a very engaging story. The perspective of Spike as everything is recalled is very good. The way you gradually make the reader aware of the environment is exceptional.
This story also explores the potential of Spike ever gaining wings along with if he'd ever grow beyond his little pudgy self. Throwing in the concern of the town of what happened when he grew as a result of greed certainly puts a lot more depth into the tale as well.
The portrayal of Scoots is also quite clever. I do hope to see how this story further unfolds and why it seems there is such suspense at the tale's start.
Bravo, now please. Post more so i may continue my reading!
8408382
I see.
Well, I am enjoying it anyway. For some reason I thought this was the only chapter, so I am glad there will be more.
Some of the stuff is interesting, and some of it bothers me.
My biggest issue with it, however, is the voice. It doesn't sound like Spike is the one telling the story to me.
Spike suffers from Inuyasha Syndrome. Meaning, he is the only one of his kind to have absolutely no control over his 'monster form' and his monster form is, for a totally inexplicable reason, completely incapable of thought or reason.
Kurosaki Ichigo suffered from a very strange variant of this in that his Hollow MIND was far smarter than he was and knew everything about how his powers worked, but when in physical control, it seemed to be nothing but a mindless killing machine.
Ok, this is pretty stupid right here. You have a dragon who is 1) practically the child of 2 alicorn princesses, and was babysat along with Twily by a third 2) beloved as a hero by the Crystal Empire 3) close friend to the new Dragon Lord 4) basically an ambassador to the changelings 5) and most importantly... a buddy of Discord's... you do not mess with a buddy of Discord's... it will end badly for you...
And not only is this unknown and clearly hostile doctor dealing with him instead of his friends and someone competent, but the guard, whom I'm assuming would have been given rather specific instructions by the Princesses as to how not to f@%# things up, just outright attack the dragon who has his own throne in the magical tree castle of McGuffinness.
This is about as stupid an act as Kim Jung Un walking unarmed into a group of Montana militiamen during their target practice and giving them the finger.
Dude, seriously? Does this guy think Celestia would do anything other than kick his flank into the Sun BODILY for trying to have Spike killed? And he doesn't know a damned thing about dragons anyway! How the hell did such a prick get permission to even be there?
None of this makes any sense!
8408798 I see no alt universe tag, so I'm assuming this takes place after canon... why didn't they ask any of the other dragons about this abnormal bleeding and growth? Why do they still know so little even after years of friendship with Ember?
Ugh, there are too many questions about this entire situation. I can't see any of the alicorns letting this douchebag near Spike. Fluttershy is more qualified. Heck, that vet who looked at him once is more qualified, because at least she admitted she had no idea what was going on and wasn't a creep about it.
8409297
I thought this took place between seasons 3 and 4. Spike mentions being in Golden Oaks, and Twilight is a princess. That says after season 3, but before the season 4 finale.
8408798
thats the problem, one of the best doesn't mean one of the best with people. this is likely one of those specialists more into the science or the field then the actual people.
B_25 I enjoy your story greatly, and it is good, but if you aren't going to edit this then I recommend adding this to the Looking For Editors group, so in the future we don't have more of this:
Frightened
I think you missed part if this sentence. Right after "the floor around my," you switch topics. That or you mean, "covered the floor around me."
disciple is the word you're looking for.
Phase.
But good story all around. Keep it up.
... I'll keep an eye on this, keep up the good work
DUDE this is good please keep up the good work!!!
Why doesn't Scoots have her CM in the cover pic? AUTOMATIC UNFAVOURITE!
Wow, That doctor needs to be bitch-slapped.
Also- Good work so far!
Impressive. Looking forward to this continuing!
You have what is an interesting idea here with a lot of potential. However the storytelling seems to be a bit disjointed and erratic. You'll need to stabilize the narrative as you go forward with it.
Hmm... I certainly like the idea of this and enjoyed the chapter for the most part, but I agree with others that it does need editing - there are a lot of wrong word choices, the odd typo and more than a few moments that were just plain weird.
Still, I'll give it a follow. I admit I'm a little biased, as I am rather fond of non-obvious or odd ships like this one but, even ignoring that, I'm interested to see where you go with this.
If I were Twilight I would have said this to the doctor:
"Spike is your patient, he is restrained, and you just ordered two guards to stab him. You took an oath to do no harm, give me one good reason I shouldn't go to Princess Celestia and have your medical license revoked right now!?"
I'm serious here, that doctor should be fired and have his license revoked.
8409365 Ok, still doesn't explain why the hero of the Crystal Empire and the almost-son of an alicorn Princess is being handled by an unqualified loon.
8409932>>8409568>>8409132>>8408859>>8408798>>8408491
Sorry folks, all that I have posted now is the first draft. Doing the second-draft now to fix what drunken me missed.
No re-read will be required of the first chapter tho.
8408681
How could I ever say no to you?
8410006 Oh, and let's not forget he actually tried to make a veiled threat to Twilight... let's think this through. He tried to imply that he, a mere low-level doctor, could impinge upon the credulity of Celestia's personal student, thrice savior of Equestria by this point, who also was PERSONALLY led by Celestia to ascension into an alicorn... and Twilight just stood there and said nothing to this A-hole?!
People hate Blueblood for far less! This guy should be ASHES right now!
8410208
Blargh. Will re-write the scene.
Yeah, can't say this is off to a good start. The whole scene with the doctor makes absolutely no sense in standard pony continuity; if you want to take this angle, you're going to have to address in detail why he's presuming to threaten a hero of the nation, why someone so completely at loggerheads with one of the rulers of said nation is allowed within spitting distance of one of her favorites, and why on earth said doctor thinks he can get away with trying to hold 'I report to Celestia' over a mare who regularly takes tea with Celestia. Who's backing this, and why, and how are they getting away with it?
There's no explanation for any of that in the story at the moment, so it just comes off as jarring and shatters immersion completely - drama introduced for its own sake without regard to how it makes sense in the story's world
8410215
Blargh, sorry chief. Doing the second draft now.
Why on earth would you not mean to kiss Scootaloo?
8410335
Touché.
841020 thanks :)
8410208 I don't think Twilight is a Princess yet in this story, but yeah I thought that too.
The Doctor is a cuck.
8410319
I have no idea what part of that comment comes off as that person being a troll. It all looked like constructive criticism to me. That person asked questions about why this was in the story in the first place and then explained how those questions weren't answered in the context of the story and ended with how the story suffered so far from it. Complaints of previous people in the comments were echoed. Unless all of is considered trolling, in which case... Oh.
TBF, it took me a couple years to put up a story and a blog post on this site and even before that happened, I was still leaving comments. Not sure what the lack of that stuff has to do with anything.
8410319 No, he has a point. The idea of there being a bigoted doctor who has already made up his mind that Spike is a threat is a good one, a decent way to introduce conflict, but the way he was introduced and acted was rather abrupt and jarring, as is the way Twilight failed to call him on it, just standing around in the background.
There's also the inital change scene which seems rather full of glurge and angst. It was rather overdone. This is not a bad idea, or a bad story, but it could be written better.
I think the doctor's angle would be more plausible if his bias showed up in his mannerisms and asking loaded questions, like he's giving eye contact or little faces or gestures to the guards posted there in between asking them. Implying the threat more than outright stating it. The thing is though, with Twilight being in the room she'd be very protective at this stage and would be running counteroffensive on the doc right back, demanding to know just what he's implying with his questioning. At present to me it's very "WUT. Twilight would have beaten wholesale ass for less than this."
8410458 Even if it's just Season 2 Twilight, she'd still have stopped NMM and Discord. And Spike would still be the dragon personally known and beloved by Celestia.
The doctor would still be ash.
8410319
Apparently giving constructive criticism while having no picture on their account = troll. And apparently you are required to have experience in writing to say anything about someone's story!
I'll smite arrogance for 1000, please.
Just because you wrote stories on this website doesn't mean you have more experience than a person who hasn't. Don't use authority on a fanfiction website, please. It's nasty and extremely unappealing.
I for one enjoyed this and can’t wait to see more. Although the doctor made me legitimately pissed.