Internal struggle

by lunaisbestpony1

First published

Twilight wakes up in a hospital near the border of Changeling country, but something about her is...off. She remembers nothing of her adult life, and she seems to be juggling a bit of an alter ego. An evil alter ego.

Twilight wakes up in a hospital near the border of Changeling country, but something about her is...off. She remembers nothing of her adult life, in fact she doesn't seem to be acting like an adult at all, and she seems to be juggling a bit of an alter ego. An evil alter ego. Maybe, when she took in the magic of the princesses, she took in a bit more than magic.
Cover art by Follow Focus

Confusing Circumstances

View Online

Light. That was the first word that came to the bedridden mares head. Lots of light.

She opened her eyes to a room. Sickly clean walls surrounded her. Sterile bed sheets were pulled up around her body. Her horn was wrapped in clean bandages and a harsh florescent light above her made it hard to do much but squint.

“Hello?” She called, her voice a pitiful croak. “Is anypony there?”

Not long after her call, a white painted door, which blended to the wall so well she hadn’t noticed it, swung open. In walked a strange looking monster. The creature had a black coat, its wings and eyes glowed blue, it looked rather bug like with strangely placed holes on its hooves.

The mare scooted back in her bed in fear, but flinched in a sudden jolt of pain. She gasped, “Who are you?” She squeaked, “Where’s my mommy?”

The creature gave the lavender pony an almost fearful look, then put on a very calm, almost motherly expression. “My name,” it spoke with a fluent female voice, “Is Miss Macy, I’m the nurse here. You’re Miss Princess Twilight Sparkle I assume. As for your mommy, I don’t rightly know. Do you have her contact? We could call her.”

Twilight had a look of bafflement on her face. She sniffed, “No, no, you have it all wrong. I’m Twilight, but I’m no princess miss.” She said carefully, still staring at the strange bug, and trying to ignore the pain she felt. Like she was pushed up against something feathery and it was poking into her sides, weird. But she didn’t pay the pain much mind as she was still focused on the strange creature. “What are you??” She demanded.

Miss Macy shifted uncomfortable, “Well, I’m a changeling. I figure you of all ponies should know that. And our records say you are a princess, so do your wings.”

“Wings?” The mare asked. She quickly tried to look around her. It was then that she noticed two appendages protruding from her torso, they were also wrapped in bandages, and the source of the pain.

Twilight gasped, “I have, I have, I…have…wings. HOW?” She squirmed, causing more pain in her torso. She whimpered, “How??”

The nurse approached twilight and positioned her patient straight in bed. “Shh, shh, you’ll hurt yourself.” The nurse said. “Please stay calm." Her voice was pleading.

“Calm?!?” Twilight demanded, “CALM?!!? I have wings and I’m in a weird hospital, and my mommy’s gone, and, and, and,” The mare was tearing up now. “What happened?”

The nurse took a step back and sighed, “Well miss Sparkle, we don’t rightly know. We found you on the edge of Changeling territory in critical physical and magical condition. So the first respondents brought you here to recover.”

The mare nodded through tears, “Okay, and how long ago was that?” She asked.

“Two weeks ago.”

The mare sucked in a shocked breath. “But, but, I’m on a schedule! Two weeks of learning that I have missed out on, Celestia will be very, very, mad! My magic goes beyond my age, that’s what she said, that’s what she told me! If I don’t study every day and learn to control my power, my magic could destroy the whole of Equestria! Please…I need to get home.” She breathed in shakily. Her entire body seemed to be twitching now. She clutched her head in apparent pain, like she was getting ready to scream.

The changeling nodded, “Okay, we can get you home.” She sounded uncertain. “Just rest here a bit longer. You may have to go through some rehabilitation depending on the damage to your body and”

“BUT I WANT TO GO HOME NOW!” Twilight shrieked the words and the changeling backed up quickly as the young alicorn began to hover over the bed. Her eyes turned black as the night and her wail carried through the room, shattering the windows.

The bandages wound around the mare burst into flames, then turned to black ashes which fell to the white sheets. Wind began to swirl around the mare and she was suddenly enveloped in a bright blue light.

When the light cleared, there stood Twilight atop the ash stained sheets. Her mane blazed with white hot flames, her body was wrapped in dark armor that shimmered as if made from shadows. Her eyes were slits like those of a snakes.

A smile graced the mare’s lips. “Ah.” She sighed, her voice spine chilling and regal, “Two weeks of sleep, I have to say, my magic is,” she gave a very satisfied smile, “charged.” Then she turned to the nurse. “Hello there changeling.” She took a step toward the nurse, the ash swirling around her legs. “You took care of me when my body was in disrepair? Good.” Her words sounded almost disinterested, “Than I will more than likely let you live.” She walked past the changeling and patted her on the head before stating, “I will be off then.”

The strange mare whisked out the door, her purple coat showing its newly acquired dark tint in the cooler light of the hall. She found herself humming a deep tune, one that could only be described as church like. Her posture was one of regality. Every creature she passed in the hospital halls seemed to cower or bow to the mare, influenced by her very presence. But outside of her cool attitude, the dark Twilight’s mind was whirling.

‘This body has sustained damage.’ She thought, ‘Immensely so. If I were to phase out in a moment of magic use, she would be incinerated. I will have to be careful. Minor spells only. ‘

The mare allowed herself a minor health checking spell. She mentally reviewed the results.

‘Ah, clever mare aren’t you Twilight? Yes, I see that you have regressed in mental maturity. Wiped an entire chunk of your memory. Certainly it will keep you from revealing what you have learned. And it will keep you well alive and keep me at bay. Tricky, tricky. But it also seems that you removed a bit too much. Poor child, mentally you’re what? Six? So much for just shedding twenty four hours of thought, you went and shed twenty four years. Ha. I can’t even access your past knowledge, can I? Pity. But your memories will return. Then I will see them. Really this will only keep me around longer. Silly child. Very silly child. And what’s more, as a filly, you can’t fight me off. Brilliant.’

The strange mare strut out of the hospital doors, a smirk on her face. She stood by the road and flagged a taxi carriage. She crawled into the back seat and demanded the driver to take her to Canterlot.

“But, but, that’s outside my route.” The cab driver protested.

Twilight glared, causing the driver to flinch. “Okay, okay, I’m going.” The driver whined. The carriage began to travel.

“Good.” The dark alicorn said. “Now, subject, I have something very important to tell you. If you protest, it will cost you your life.”

The driver squeaked at the pure aura of terror given off by the mare, but nodded.

The false Twilight said, “I want you to keep driving. No matter how much I change, even if I ask you to stop, from here on out, keep driving. If you stop, I will see to it that you die a death of fire and shadows. Understood?” She hissed the words.

The changeling driver nodded. He took in shallow scared breaths under the influence of the dark mares magic.

Evil Twilight smiled. Fear in her subjects was quite satisfactory.

The trip went on in silence from then, the dark alicorn remained deep in thought. But when the group was two hours out from Canterlot, the alicorn began to twitch, the shadow armor died, her mane turned plush and soft the fire fading, her dark aura changed from one giving off fear, to one of innocence and fear. Her eyes were the last to change, they became big and childlike.

Twilight shifted in the carriage, she found herself crawling to the front with careful hooves, still in a good amount of pain, and not used to being on moving objects, nor traveling without her mom or dad. She saw the changeling driver and tapped him lightly with her hoof, “S-sir.” She piped, “Where are we going?”

The driver gave her a strange look, “Canterlot ma’am.”

Twilight nodded scarily, “Good, I live there.”

“Very good ma’am.” The changeling said, confused.

“Can we stop for ice cream?” Twilight gave the Changeling puppy dog eyes, sitting by him and leaning on the driver’s side. “It would be superdy nice of you!”

“No stops ma’am, please sit in the back. We will be arriving in two hours.”

Twilight gave an indignant huff, “Kay.” She said, crawling back and lying out on the seat, studying her wings with fascination. ‘I wonder why I have wings. I’ll have to ask the princess about this.’ She thought.

Little did she know, the Princess would be the one with the questions.

The Depths Of Her Trouble

View Online

Twilight lied on her back in the back of the carriage and stared at the slowly passing clouds above. “So you’re a…what are you called?”

“A changeling.” The driver responded, pulling a hard left on the rocky mountain paths.

“Changeling.” Twilight clicked her tongue committing the strange word to memory. “Do you have any magic?”

The changeling turned and stared at the mare before changing shape. He took the form of a familiar sun goddess.

Twilights jaw dropped, her eyes bulging in pure amazement. “CELESTIA? YOU’RE A CAB DRIVER? AND A MAN?”

The Celestia clone raised her brow and changed back into the strange creature. His eyes darted to the road as he responded, “No that IS my magic. I can change my shape. Morphing magic I suppose.”

Twilight nodded at this. “Oh. That’s cool, I should be taking notes on this.” She said.

A silence fell between the two before it was broken by the curious cab driver. “Uh huh. So Miss…”

“Twilight,” The alicorn supplied.

“That’s what I thought.” He muttered. “Can I ask you why you’re here? I mean, a princess visiting changeling country is exceedingly rare. You’re lucky you didn’t run into any of those coffee grinders.”

Twilight pouted at the guard, “It’s cute that ponies are calling me ‘princess,’ but I’m no princess! Or least, I don’t think I am. I do have wings, but I don’t know why. I think I would remember getting wings. But I don’t. Besides, my mom says I’m not allowed to have coffee.”

“No, you have it wrong,” The changeling said, deciding not to mention the princess’s strange behavior in fear of the ‘death of fire and shadows’ he was promised before. “The Coffee Grinders are a political party here. They pretty much rally behind the old queen and despise all ponies.”

Twilight scowled, “What do you mean ‘the old queen’?” she asked innocently.

“You really don’t know? I figured you of all ponies”

“WHY DOES EVERYPONY KEEP SAYING THAT? ME OF ALL PONIES LIKE I HAVE SOME HISTORY WITH CHANGELING STUF?!?” The mare said in a spark of anger.

The cab driver whipped his head back, only to see that in her rage, the mare’s eyes had changed to those ghastly slits he had looked into before. Pure terror ran through him and the driver began to have a panic attack. But his mental breakdown was stopped when he heard sobbing from the back seat.

“Are you okay miss?” The changeling squeaked.

“My side hurts! I want my mom!” Twilight said, twisting on the seat and holding her side.

“Okay, okay, don’t cry!” The driver said wordily, both confused and fearing for his life. That mare earlier…she had promised him a death of fire and shadows. Now she was near to the point of tears. He knew little of pony magic, but he knew enough to tell that something dark was at foot. Or at least abnormal. His passenger was a well-known princess from the pony lands after all. Yet she had appeared outside the hospital and hopped into HIS cab. Why? “Please, please stop crying miss!” He exclaimed, “We can get ice cream if you want.”

Twilight sniffed. “R-really?”

“Uh, y-ya sure. Anything you want princess. We can hit a drive through once we get into Equestria lines. I guess.”

Twilight gave a very small smile. “O-okay Mr. Changeling. Thank you. What kind of ice cream will we get? Mama always gets me it in cone form, and,” She twitched, her eyes turning to shadowy slits before turning back. The driver winced, still staring at the mare, but Twilight didn’t notice. “Sometimes she gets me ice cream in a bowl. But my favorite is ice cream in a waffle cone bowl, did you know they make that? It’s like combining the two best ways to serve ice cream. It’s awesome.” She smiled.

The driver nodded. Suddenly becoming even more nervous, he was nearing the edge of the border. A huge marble checkpoint guarded by two armed stallions loomed in the distance.

“Alright Princess,” He spoke in a relaxed tone, but he was sweating,

Twilight looked worriedly on, “You okay mister?”

“Y-yes. But please, I need you to grant me passage. As a pri-pony you can do that. Just tell the guards that I can go through. They may ask you some questions, or they may do some spells on you. Just answer to the best of your ability and they’ll let us in.”

“Then we can get ice cream?”

The driver sighed, “Yes, then we can get ice cream.”

It wasn’t long before the cab pulled up to the checkpoint. A stallion stepped forth.

“Identify yourself and state your business.” He boomed.

Twilight poked her head out of the cab and stared at the stallion, who didn’t notice her as he was still staring at the cab driver.

The driver gulped, “My name is Hubert Pent. I am a changeling cab driver in the Doodle political party. I’m here to escort Miss Twilight Sparkle across country lines. Sir.” He added the last part respectfully, trying and failing not to trip over his words.

“We’re also here to get ice cream!” Twilight put in leaning out the window.

The guard turned to twilight and rolled his eyes, “Right, out of the cab miss.”

“Why?” She asked.

“Just do so. By order of the royal guard.”

Confused, Twilight stumbled out of the cab and stood before the stallion. “I’m required to tell you,” The guard said, “that if you’re a changeling, this spell will reveal your true form and you will be arrested on site. If you are a changeling, you can admit it and turn back now.”

Twilight whimpered and took a step back, looking to the cab driver who gave her a reassuring smile. “Just accept it, you’ll be fine.” The driver choked to the Princess.

Twilight stared back at the guard and nodded, “O-okay.” She squeaked.

The guard’s horn lit with magic and a magical aura enveloped Twilight. But, nothing happened.

The guard blinked. “But…” he tried the spell again. Nothing happened. “You…” He turned to his buddy, who was sleeping in the booth, and yelled, “Send word to the princess! Twilight has been found!”

Twilight backed up at the sudden yelling of the stallion. “Well, then, okay, I’ll just be going…”

The guard turned frantically to twilight and grabbed her hoof before pulling handcuffs from his belt. “NO! PLEASE! You’ve been missing for so long! Stay here where it’s safe” He threw the handcuffs over the cab drivers hoofs with his magic than he turned to him, “You are under arrest for foalnapping a princess.” He said marching up to the cab.

The other guard sprung to his feet and ran over to Twilight, checking the princess for any sign of harm and coaxing her to come sit with him well this was sorted out.

Twilight backed away, her body beginning to twitch, her breathing becoming rapid breaths of fear.

“No. NO! YOU HAVE IT WRONG! STOP!” The last word echoed around the outpost, causing rumblings from the top of the mountain. She began to hover, causing everyone present to stare on in fear. A bright blue light flashed from within the princess and foul winds of chaos whipped around her. When the dust cleared, she stood with her flaming mane and shadow armor, a portrait of fear and despair. She glared at the guards who both had stopped what they were doing to stare at the alicorn.

The dark twilight gave a gleeful smile and hovered in the air to better address her subjects. “You dare stop our passage peasants?” She spat with all the terror and beauty of a tyrannical queen. “We shall send thee both away.” She smiled at the two, her horn lighting with shadowy energy.

The guards backed away, speechless and scared as cold shadows wrapped tightly around their bodies. The shadows pulled the two in the same direction, bumping them together with rather painful force. They would have groaned, I the dark alicorn hadn’t been holding their voices.

The evil Twilight got closer to the two, looking into their eyes with her own. She breathed the next words, and the aura of terror further gripped the stallions, “Far. Far. Away.”

She let sound an evil laugh as the guards began to spin in the shadows, slowly fading from existence until there was nothing left. Just two empty spaces in the fading darkness.

The evil alicorn turned to the stunned changeling, who was backed up against his cab and freaking out. ‘He’s scared.’ She thought with delight, ‘Good. But, we may have exhausted too much energy. we shall have to take it easy.’ Her internal uncertainty didn’t show through her regal posture. She strut to the cab and sat high and mighty in the back seat, as if it were her own regal carriage.

“Come driver, take us to Canterlot.” She said as the driver hurried to his seat and took off.

The Storm Before The Twister

View Online

Anger is a hard emotion to sustain for two hours, but the dark Twilight had somehow managed.

When the cab arrived on the outskirts of Canterlot, the city didn’t seem to be experiencing the sunniest weather. Grey clouds hovered above the abandoned side of town, rain drizzled from the sky, the sun behind the clouds glowed with a strange dimness, like the very essence of nature was in a state of despair. “Driver,” Said the Dark Twilight, her voice only barely above the sound of the downpour, “Stop here.”

The cab pulled over to the side and the alicorn stepped off the vehicle. She trotted around to the front of the cab and gave panic stricken the changeling an amused grin. “Hmm,” She pondered, “What to do with you?”

The bug fixed the princess with a look of absolute fear, “Please great princess…please don’t kill me.” He whimpered.

Twilight leaned on the windowsill and with a fiendishly delighted chuckle said, “You know I much prefer your kind to ponies. I’ve decided to allow you to continue your pitiful existence.”

The changelings lip quivered, “Thank you.” He squeaked.

Twilight gave no response. Her horn began to glow with a shadow fueled green, the driver was lit with the aura. He screeched, his hooves flying up to his head in pain as his mind was erased, then he stopped, blinked, and looked up confused at the strange pony. “Um, who are you?” The driver asked, slightly leaning away from the terror emitting Princess.

Dark Twilight smiled, “I’m the being who just gave you mercy, bug. A rare gift indeed. Do not squander it.” She turned on her hoof and walked off into the rain. Cooley disappearing into the mist.

But the deed of mercy was too nice, she began to twitch, the fire of her mane dying, her whole being becoming meek and childlike. Her last thought before she changed was ‘Next time, this will be different.’ The thought rang through her head as more of a promise, as everything went black.

Twilight opened her eyes and shivered. She was sitting in a puddle in the empty roads of Canterlot, she didn’t know how she had gotten there. Nothing to do now but find her way home.

She wondered the empty streets trying not to sob. She knew this neighborhood all too well, but the streets looked almost deserted. Like a part of town that had been abandoned with time. Once brightly colored houses were boarded up and grey. Once clean lawns were overgrown and full of weeds. How long had she been gone?

In a deep puddle she caught sight of her reflection, she noted that her body was taller, her unkempt mane was longer than she had remembered. Her once childlike features had expanded. She looked like a grownup mare. But how?

After some thought and many minutes spent in the dreary streets, she decided that whatever had happened to her must have been magical.

Possibly a spell had gone wrong and her spirit or mind had traveled forward in time. That was likely enough.

Here she was an alicorn after all, something magical and life changing most defiantly had happened. Maybe she had jumped into another dimension where everything was weird. That was possible. She’d have to ask around when she next saw somepony, but whenever that was, it wasn’t now.

Next she pondered the time skips, why she kept blacking out.

Before waking up in Canterlot, the last thing she remembered was standing before the guard. She remembered the guard being confused, and she remembered a very small voice right before the world went black, she couldn’t make out the voice’s words, but they had made her angry, very angry. And she hadn't know why she was angry, it was illogical to be so. But the surge of rage had pushed her under, and the next thing she knew she was soaking wet in a puddle of mud. That wasn’t good at all.

‘Note to self,’ she thought, ‘don’t get angry. I hope the guard is okay.’

She was getting closer to her side of the neighborhood now, civilization was signaled by the many streetlights beginning to light up as she walked. The closer she got to the residential side of Canterlot, the less streetlights seemed to be broken. Twilight tried to stay close to the dots of shimmering light as the moon slowly roved into the sky. The rain didn’t light up with the darkness of night. Nopony within their houses dared venture into the falling rain, leaving the alicorn quite alone and scared.

Twilight pushed on. Soon she saw a darkened house just like any other, but she recognized the familiar number above the door. The address 42 Chocolate Lane. Her home.

She walked onto the old porch, ignoring a flash of lightning behind her, and noting a few items placed against the wall. Pictures of her accompanied by scented candles and teddy bears. She gulped, didn’t pictures and candles signify…she shook it off. She was fine. Here and alive.

The Princess was about to go inside when one of the plushies caught her eye, a smarty pants doll. Her smarty pants doll. It sat atop a picture. Curious and nostalgic, she wrapped the doll in her magic and hugged it to her chest with her hoof. Then she studied the picture. Her and five mares sat on a picnic blanket. Behind them the sun was shining and everypony was grinning ear to ear, lost in laughter at some forgotten joke.

Looking at the picture, Twilight felt all warm inside, like she knew the unknown ponies. But she also felt sad. She levitated the picture to her and turned it around, looking for some explanation of the event. There was no date written, but a small message shone through in pink sparkly ink.

‘Don’t forget to laugh.’ It said.

Twilight didn’t know why, but something broke when she read the words. She gasped in a shaky breath, and sniffed. A single word came to her mind, ‘Pinkie.’ It was the most important word she could think of. She held onto it.

Then, armed with only the word, her doll, and the strange picture, she went inside. The door swung open on the first try. More lightning struck, and this time thunder followed, she jumped in.

She placed her belongings on familiar dining table, hoping that they would be safe there. Then she tried the lights. They flickered on and she sighed with relief as she studied the house.

It looked lived in, but slightly dusty. Like a house left alone for a week or so well the owners were on vacation. She ran from the entry room and checked the fridge first, noting that the milk was still good, and the cheese was lack of mold.

Satisfied, she trotted up the stairs to her old bedroom. It took a second to open the door, as the hinges were rusted. But when the door pushed open she found herself in a room coated in spider webs. An old desk sat in the corner, it was littered with papers. She chuckled, the old place had hardly changed since she got her own room in the castle. Her parents had kept it just the way she left it.

Her bed was made, and a mass amount of old stuffed animals sat atop it. She grinned and lied on the bed, sinking into the old mattress and smiling in remembrance. She may have drifted off, but her stomach began to rumble.

“I’m hungry,” She buzzed, then she turned to her plushies, “What do you think I should eat Mr. Monkey?”

Mr. Monkey gave no response, but the mare nodded as if his silence was profound, “Good idea!” She said. She crawled off her bed, meeting slight trouble with her wings dragging behind her, and ran for the kitchen. She threw open a cabinet and reached for the topmost shelf, noting that she could reach it now with little effort, then she grabbed a bowl from the pantry and began the process of making cereal. She hummed a slight tune, setting the bag down and pouring a bag of oats into the bowl then going for the milk. But as she opened the fridge, thunder sounded, the lights went out.

Twilight fumbled around in the newfound dark, dropping the milk carton on the ground. It spilled all over, accumulating in a big puddle on the tile. She sighed and levitated the milk off the floor, surprised at how effortlessly she levitated liquid. That was new.

Then, not trusting the liquid she had lifted from the floor, she dumped the suspended milk into the sink and returned to her bowl of oats.

“Well, she muttered, dry cereal is good too.” More thunder sounded and she flinched in fear and dove for the main room, grabbing her smarty pants doll on the way and huddling on the nearby couch to eat.

But she didn’t even finish her oats before she drifted off, curled up in the dark room with half a bowl of cereal and her favorite doll.

Lightning flashed as she began to dream.

But her dream was more of a nightmare.