hmm, interesting viewpoint of the story. will watch

Pretty good alternate version. Will be watching.

>>12739011273901NO!!!!L NO SPAM!!!!

Ok, you have my attention.

Okay here's my two cents take it or leave it:

You're putting too much emphasis on the "dead" part of a pony vampire I think. From how Dennis wrote it out I'd say his version of the pony vampire or vampony (which is a term I find redundant, but whatever) is less undead blood hungry and more akin to the human genetic disorder porphyria in which the person who has it is extremely sensitive to UV light (i.e. sunlight), has a pale skin tone, an aversion to heat, and that it's hereditary.  Now add supernatural strength, predatory level sensitive sense of smell, hearing, and sight. Then add the primal predator personality that lurks behind the conscious mind that does crave to be loose and what not.  And finally the requirement of blood to fuel said supernatural traits and keep the predatory personality in check and satisfied and I think you'll have it down pat.  

This is just coolloo, i hope to see more awsomeness and 20% cooler eeyup

yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes

PLEASE FINISH THIS!!!

Not bad. Not bad at all. Definitely have a solid kind of voice. Characterization is down so far.

But maybe ease up on the bold face? I don't think I ever used bold face. For internal thoughts, I think people prefer to read things italicized. It's easier on the eyes, I think. Remember, when everything is emphasized, nothing is!

I'll keep an eye on this!

>>12826881282688 Awesome, thanks a lot :) And I made the amount of things bold to make reading Vinyl's thoughts be a slightly experience than reading Octavia's. I do see your point though, so I think I'll change it up. Thanks for the input :3

this is awesome, keep up the gaert work

Better formatting. Keep going!

Looking very good!

Also:

Oh wow. I know what an analogy is. I must be hanging out with Octy too much.

Made me laugh hard

oh no theres a tumb down tumb down

The only downside to this story at the moment is there isn't more to read.

MOAR

I agree with the first commentor as well as number 2

I agree with the three above

OMG this is awesome to read from vinyl's point of view

Good job.

Image: http://i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png

first and MOAR

Yaaaaaaaaaaaay

Hmmm. Seeing this from Vinyl's point of view is pretty amazing so far.

~ Timid

Now I'm going to have to read about love and heartbreak from Vinyl's point of view great...

~ Scare

Feed me moar!

Sweet... This can actually give me a good idea on different viewpoints for the episodes

I'm loving this alot, it's always great to get another point of view

Definetly enjoying this, can't wait for more!

Very excellent.

Awaiting further releases.

Um just FYI, one of your two down thumbs is me. I ment to press thumb up but my phone screen is small. It is not letting me change but I think this is because we are in the middle of a server move. If I still can't change it in a few days I will email someone.

Short version. You should have one less down vote and one more up vote then listed

AND YOU UPDATE OR DIE

LOL DURP

seriously its #Awesoume need #Moar

>>13709291370929 Haha no problem, thanks :) Maybe just shoot a mod a message and be like "Hey, is there a way I can switch the thumbs down to an up?" If not, it's not a huge deal hehe What really matters is the thumbs ups. I don't pay attention to the downs.

This is amazing. Well written good sir. Well done.

I'm pretty sure everyone that's read this has read the original by Dennis, and it seems just that more awesome that even he loves this story. You've made it sound like he himself is writing this, and it enthralls me, literally making me read all the chapters in the space of just over an hour. Also, did you go back and read all of his chapters systematically, looking for all the dialogue in his story? Because from what I remember, it looks like all of the lines are there. Anyway, I love this story, and I'm greatly awaiting for the next chapter, which hopefully is soon.

>>13752411375241 Thanks a lot! And yeah, when I'm writing a chapter, I re-read the chapter that corresponds to the chapter I'm writing plus the one after it so I get dialogue correct and try to make sure everything in my story matches up with the original.

>>13759081375908 Well you seem to have succeeded so far. Vinyl and Octavia have always been my favorite background ponies and vampires and werewolves have always been my favorite monsters so when I found the original story I was thrilled. You have done well telling it from a different perspective.

You Pegged Vinyls voice. It sounds like she is narrating the whole thing

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_Scratch.png

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_rainbowkiss_flip.png

Now, should this part go “wub wub bass wub wub?” Or “bass bass wub bass wub?” So many choices…

I lost it , Great job, Please keep it up .

This HAS to be a difficult one to write. I mean, constantly checking back to the original 5 (I'm guessing here) times over to make sure the two can coincide without being confusing or blah blah whatever.

I also didn't see the apartment in the beginning... I saw a normal house.

Good job good sir... and take your time writing this. I wanna remain in the liking it demographic

there's a misspelled "quite - quiet" somewhere

*hint hint* press ctrl+f

[...]as she leaned up to kiss me, quiet passionately[...]

I re-read as much as is done because I applaud you for undertaking this, and thoroughly enjoy it. This is written like the original, but not the original. I love it.

Also, I'd really get a bigger kick out of this, if you could please update soon, because I'm donating blood in the near future.

Please?

WHAT UP

I'M OUT

>>13843931384393 What's up? Something wrong?

>>13831361383136 Fixed, gracias!

This made me laugh more times than I have EVER when reading...

http://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=m-ch-vid&v=RImMBI94Zv0 1:05

Ooooooo potential revaltion into the silver *very rude word starting with B that shouldn't be said*.

~ Scare

Well this is certaintly interesting to say the least. It is a really good take on how Vinyl reacted to all of this. It seems as though the exact same author wrote both stories. ...Are you secretly Denis The Menice?

~ Timid

>>13844811384481 Glad you're enjoying!

And I'm not Dennis, believe me xD I'm female. So there's some proof that I'm not him. Can't get much proofier than that haha

>>13843931384393

Image: http://denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw5060_large.jpg

> It definitely wasn’t love at first site

The expression is "love at first sight" -- the first time you see the object of your desire, not the first location they're in!

> Never seized to surprise me.

"ceased" (to end), not "seized" (to take)

> It was like eating Spam my whole life and then trying a little taste of filet mignon!

This is odd. I don't think there's anything wrong with a vampire talking about eating meat, but filet mignon is quite a few steps above "take a bite out of your prey", and Spam is "we've got an entire industry based around eating meat" -- strange for a herbaceous society.

>>13845631384563

We vampires have some wierd powers involving the fourth wall. How do you think Pinkie Pie does it?

~ Scare

Or of course in Equestria spam and fillet mingon are something that isn't meat. It could always be some kind of flower dish.

~ Timid

I was just eating nachos...

Image: http://i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png

>>13844391384439

You cannot even to begin to comprehend the absurd amounts of happiness I am feeling right now.

Thank you oh so much. The donation's tommorow too, you were spot on with this update. *squee*

Woah, a lot of awesome just happened. I'm wondering how the rest is going to play out?

Keep up the good work.

And that line about the banana suits just gives me an excuse to do this:

Image: http://1.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/71/18/88a16ef3cbc56e3026beebb20dbe9c4a-banana-suit-vs-no-banana-suit.jpg

Nonstop jokes in this chapter as usual I see.

"Vinyl?" she whispered shakily. "I want to—"

"Give me a hug?" I guessed smiling.

"NO! TO BITCH SLAP YOU!" She yelled charging at me.

XD

This was my favorite part in both stories, mainly because I got to get so mad at Octavia's mom, Then Vinyl decks her, just like i wanted to do.

every time i read this "NO! To bitch slap you!" I think of Pewdiepie.

We've reached that point in the story. Yes it's that time again. Its just after I discover something awesome and devour every bit of it I can read. We passed that point. It is now time for the request stage. MOAR PLEASE!

Good... Good...

That bitch needed to be knocked the fuck out.

Image: http://i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png

Ling Vive, Lupus Imperii!

>>13943761394376

It sounds like something exactly out of his Happy Wheels Let's Play.

HA-HA! OWNED!

cheesecake with fruit. It was pretty boss

I died at that

This was really good. Keep it up!

I like the 4 people above me. And I agree with them whole-heatedly

>>13843931384393

Dennis doesn't like!!

What's wrong?

GIVE ME MOAR!!!

LOL your stories are GREAT! Keep up the great work!

I love you in a fan like way

well that elpone why there was more than one

I really like how even though most of the dialoge is the exact same as the other version of the story, viewing it from a different perspective makes it...different. it's almost the same as the origianal, but it's also completely different at the same time. great work.

you are the best

With me crying and her screaming, it should be perfect. Here we go…

"Three, two, one..."

javascript:void( 0 );

Octy let out a terrified scream. She could’ve been in a scary movie getting hacked to pieces and I totally would’ve believed it.

hmmmm there is something not so correct,is it? :D

>>14113831411383 It just goes to show that while the dialog may tell the story, it isn't what colors and defines the story.

>>14116281411628 the scream was so real, it broke the site code

wow......her parents are jerks

I can always tell, its on the back of my mind. I know this is "My roomate is a vampire" but it just seems so.. 'Different'? From vinyl's perspective it just doesn't seem the same.

Awesome story regardless. Nice work

I see, as many of you have noticed, the story changes dramatically if told from a different POV.

Gripping her zipper in my magic, I slowly pulled it downwards. My white coat must’ve been bright red by now. I mean, we’re always naked, but… something about the act of taking off her clothes was…

So true...

Image: http://i.imgur.com/j4Nnv.png

diu vivere in lupus imperium!

This story needs more love. C'mon guys, favorite and like and whatever!

This is such a good well written story! Great job, and thanks!

This part is so hot...

The story itself is good written.Love that you add your own details,they make it more interesting.Keep it up.

"Bacon. Hoofball. Wubs. LET'S BEAT SOME PONIES UP!"

Best quote ever

Mmm... celestia in a banana suit

Vinyl Punch!!!

Photo Finish used Flash!

Love vinyls thoughts, good job

Intriguing.

Awaiting further releases.

lol nice cant wait for the next chapter that should be pretty cool

Yay!!! update

This chapter made me laugh so much!

~ Timid

Nice to see this side of Vinyl that we didn't get in the original.

~ Scare

Made music...

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=KPNIqzcyoCU#t=20s]

This is definitely the best companion to my favourite story. Congratulations on a thus far job well done.

You better keep it up

A wild Hoity Toity appered

Best funeral ever hit the wubs as she eners the ground.How are you going to wing the talk with luna?

I love how this explains all the little things in the original that never got explained.  Its almost as if...

Dennis the Menace, do you have 2 accounts?

Some places in the beginning felt a little awkward to me and Photo Phinish's accent wasn't shown like it was in the dinner section.... and there's the "Why you no make it easier to tell a flashback!?" thing. Other than those glitches, its a very good chapter and will continue to wait for more!

Whats the best thing to do when reading a story like this?

simple, download Desktop ponies and have the relevant ones on.

I did this with Vinyl, octy, Hoity Toity and Photo Finish

woot

And that's why we can't have nice things.

Dammit, Rarity! Why you gotta be so feral on Nightmare Night?!

Image: http://imageshack.us/a/img834/691/raritywolf.png

Oh dear...lycans?

S-S-Silver Streak! It's gonna be okay, we know she gets hers later on. No need to go crazy!

~ Scare

I'm really finding this story to be very interesting from Vinyl's point of view. And I kind of freaked out as soon as I saw the name Silver Streak... buck her to tartarus.

~ Timid