Not Incompetent

by Palladium Pony

Chapter 1 - Jailbreak

"Ugh..." Twilight rubs her head, trying to shake away the headache. "Where...?" She looks up to see a furry biped, crouched but three feet away, poking at a spot on the ground. With a start, she realizes that a grey diamond dog is sitting in front of her.

"Uuaah!" She scrambles back away from the dog as he looks up at her. He nods, and turns back to the spot on the floor. "Wh-What do you want with me?!" She yells, only for the dogs to suddenly lash out and smack her.

"Quiet," he shushes her. He glances, left and right, before peeking out the door to the stone room. He closes it with a sigh. "They not find us." He turns back to her. "You friend of Sun Pony. Twilight, yes?"

"I... yes?" Twilight isn't sure what to say. A dog just slapped her and then tried to be nice. That doesn't happen to her. Granted, I deal with stranger things all the time, she admits to herself.

The dog nods, "I Granbull. We in Prison. I get you out. You not wake for many days." Twilight's eyes widen. She shivers, her teeth chatter, and a sudden chill overcomes her.

"P-Prison? Asleep for days...?" Granbull nods. He sits back down heavily, a tired look in his eye.

"Yes... Black Pony come. Break order. No sun for years. Now I find Sun Pony friend. Can find Sun Pony. Fix sky." Twilight stares disbelievingly at the dog. What he's saying is impossible, but the tiredness of his eyes, the sagging shoulders, the dirty, scruffed, matted fur...This is a dog who's been through a lot. This is a dog that isn't lying.

"So... I have to find Celestia, er, Sun Pony, and then the sky can be... fixed?" The dog nods, shadows covering his eyes, and looks up. He slowly gets to his feet, and Twilight notices something interesting. He isn't like the other dogs she's met. He looks less like a pitbull and more like a husky.

His ears perk up, flicking every few seconds. His eyes narrow in concentration as he moves slowly for the door. He slowly opens the door, and nods decisively. "Guards gone. Come, left." He sneaks into the hall, Twilight following slowly. As she looks over her shoulder, she notices with a horrified, but quiet, yelp, that her wings are gone.

She takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Doesn't matter, She assures herself, escape now, wings later. She takes a right turn just behind Granbull, and sees a horrifying thing in a cell. Indescribably horrifying, she can't imagine what the skeleton could have come from, and she feels strangely like she shouldn't want to.

Throughout the twisting, winding path through what seem to be the lower levels of the prison, if the sheer amount of stairs upward have anything to say about it, she sees all sorts of creatures, corpses, and skeletons occupying the cells. "H-how long has it been since the Black Pony came...?"

Granbull stops dead in his tracks, sagging futher than ever, and takes a shuddering breath. "Twenty," He chokes out. Twilight starts to shake again, and as she raises a hoof to ask for clarification, he continues. "Years. Twenty years. You asleep... twenty... years..." His head sinks, but he shakes it, and steps forward with determination. "Come. Demon Pony cannot keep guards long."

While curious as to who 'Demon Pony' is, and curious as to how he thinks it's been twenty years, she decides to wait. She'll find out sooner or later, she reasons, keeping pace behind the dog. They stop just before a massive, ornate staircase. It looks pristine, but well worn, as though royalty frequently takes this path... which royalty likely does.

Granbull slides a torch from the wall sconce, the blue flames up close revealing Granbull to be not entirely grey, but to have small streaks of red, all the same shade as the grey of his coat, making it so much harder to see in low light. Dog and pony lightly step up the stairs, slowly moving and making as little noise as possible as Granbull listens for any approaching guards.

Ten minutes of sneaking only takes them to the top of the stairs, showing Twilight just how far underground they must have been. She stares in shock at the stallion waiting for them at the top. Ebony, metallic coat, with a thick, coarse mane, the color of the night itself, and a bladelike, reddened horn, wearing red armor to cover most of his body, fitted with a green cape with a sun sigil on it. His eyes glow green and purple, but not with the malice Twilight expected, but rather with an exhausted air.

"Metal Pony! Demon Pony is alive?" Sombra nods in response to Granbull's question. He opens his mouth to speak, and his voice has an entirely different quality about it than Twilight remembers. Instead of being almost undead in nature, it sounds particularly cultured, yet echoes eerily.

"Granbull, I assure you that the Queen is fully capable. She will not go down to a mere hive's worth of the Black Whore's drones, no matter how well equipped." Twilight nods dumbly as he turns his gaze to her. "Ah, Twilight Sparkle. One of the only ponies not on the side of the Black Whore... hopefully. Celestia must hold some of your loyalty, yes?"

Twilight snaps out of her stupor, and nods unsurely. "Is something wrong? We must hurry, so please be quick," Sombra requests, and Twilight takes a shuddering breath, fear in her eyes.

"I saw you die," She tells him, causing him to pause. Granbull, however, pats Twilight on the head.

"Metal Pony asleep until year after Black Pony come," He tells her, gesturing forward with his torch, "We go now, no time for hesitatta... wait. No time for wait." He moves forward, alongside Sombra, and Twilight, unwilling to be left behind, canters after them.

"BUCKING WOODLICE!!" Twilight nearly faceplants as she hears a guard scream that. First off, a guard just unexpectedly yelled. Second, the woodlice bit put her even further off balance.

Woodlice? Twilight shakes her head, picking the pace back up, and cursing her lack of wings making her so slow. At the end of the hall, they Granbull breaks the door open with his overlong arms, and they step slowly into an empty courtyard.

"Sharp Pony guard prison... No guard in yard... Sharp Pony here." Granbull takes a defensive stance, sliding a foot beind heim, and bending his arms, paws curled into fists. Sombra's horn lights up as he stands ramrod straight, black crystals growing around his hooves, rooting him in place. Twilight glances between the two, and enters an awkward stance of her own, sinking near the ground as if she plans to pounce.

"UAHAHAHA!!! WELCOME, SOLAR CULT!" A pony surrounded by floating knives appears out of nowhere in the middle of the courtyard. Her eyes meet Twilight's and she falters slightly. "And Twilight..." She turns away and whispers something that sounds strangely like "Mom Dammit..."

She clears her throat, and screams, "ANYWAY! GOODBYE!" and suddenly disappears, leaving her knives to fall to the ground. The two ponies and one Diamond Dog give a slow, drawn-out blink.

"What... happen?" Granbull asks slowly, pointing at the knives. Sombra rubs his chin, brows furrowed. Twilight just stares at the knives.

"Has everypony COMPLETELY lost their common sense?!" She shouts incredulously. Sombra pauses in his musing to give a consice nod. Twilight slumps hopelessly to the ground in response. "How are we going to accomplish anything if we can't even think normally?"

Granbull pats Twilight on the head, and tells her, "Prison in sky. Base in sky. Castle in space. Ponies underground. Dogs in sky. Nothing make sense." Twilight just slumps further at the terrible attempt to make her feel better.

Suddenly, Sombra slams his hoof to the floor. "Now I remember! Sharp Sky is a mysterious pony, and the bearer of Law. She's also..." His eyes widen and he starts to sweat nervously. "You saw that blue monstrosity for yourself. However, she's uh... She's... Nightmare Moon's daughter. The uh, reason she hesitated when she saw you is, uhhh..." He rubs the back of his head sheepishly. "Well... I'm sure if you ask Cadance, she'll rant about it for you. I don't... intend to say... It's awkward." He turns away, and swiftly trots off, a shrugging Granbull following close behind, picking up one of the larger knives as he passes.

"Wait up!" Twilight rushes after them, skidding to a stop when the edge of the courtyard comes uncomfortably close. Sombra and Granbull look over the edge, and she hears them muttering.

"Where Demon Pony?"

"The Queen is likely still held up by Nightmare's forces. She's here personally, you know. Doesn't happen often. She doesn't have much skill, but plenty of power."

"How that matter?"

"It matters because that makes brute force missions take longer. She has the power, but not enough skill to make it fast. She'll be here."

"Demon Queen?" Twilight cuts in, stalking close to them, and peeking over the edge, before scrambling back, "Holy cupcakes! We are in the sky!"

Sombra looks to Granbull, and mouths, 'cupcakes?' before turning back to Twilight. "She didn't reveal herself until about a month before I returned from my imprisonment. She's-"

"Queen Chrysalis, at your service," The tall black pony gives a fanged smile, sitting on a hunk of flying stone. Twilight sputters incoherently, her normally lavender face completely white, and her eyes rolling back in her head as she passes out. "Okay, I know I'm scary, but I'm not THAT scary, right?"

Sombra and Granbull shrug, hefting Twilight onto the floating slab, stepping on themselves, and flying off, far away from the prison.

"So, when she finds out you married her-"

"Shut up."

"Just saying. Juuuuust saying."

"And I'm just saying, shut up."

Granbull just laughs.

Author's Note:

Okay, yeah, I know my stories suck, but this is one I've meditated over for a long time. Like, a REALLY long time. I hope you like it! Of course, in comparison to my other stories, this one HAS to be better, right?

Gods be With You,
-Palladium Pony

Comments

[Scorch215]

Have not read this yet but that description is very amusing and makes this sound like a very amsuong story.

[Scorch215]

Hmm tis rushed my good author, much of this needed to be stretched out and slowed a bit and some bits explained. Yes indeed.

However despite the rushed natured I must say you have quipped my interests my good man and i shall see where you are taking this little story of yours.

I look forwarded to more of this sir and but shall hold off on a like for now as I want to see how this is going to go and whether it shall go anywhere or be left to gather dust.

Good luck to you sir and I look forward to.more of this.

[Palladium Pony]

7440008
Yeah, I'm not good at action. Or interaction. Or... sht, anything, really. I'm just trying to tell a story. Do me a favor, though, and tell me who you think Chrysalis married. Here's a hint, it's not Shiny. Actually, who do you think he is married to, hmm?

EDIT: Also, how did you know my gender? I didn't put that on my profile.

[Scorch215]

7440743 the interactions were decent, twas just the pacing that was a bit fast as a lot of that should jsbe been draens out such as Twilights disorientation and the like as well as most likely trying to figure things out.

And since they said her I'm guessing Cadence. Also not sure why they would discuss that fact like Twilight should know any of them since she's been asleep for 20 years according to them so the talk about the married I don't understand.

Also I am.most curious to see why NMM daughter paused when she saw Twilight and then left rather then stopping them like she clearly planned originally. You have definitely made an interesting story with only a few issues in it.

As for gender more common to run into males on the net so I just call everyone sir till informed otherwise

Anyways looking forward to more of this.

[Scorch215]

7441052 ah I see also not a good idea to confirm theories is in the comments as half gjr fun of reading fics like this is trying to figure things out and building evidence only to either be confirmed in story or proven wrong.

Still not sure why they would have that convo at all unless they knew ehst twilight had been dreaming about some how. Other wise its a somehwst weird time to talk about any of that as there was no prompting for it.

As I said I've noticed a few things that could be improved upon but over all it is a good story so far.

[Palladium Pony]

7441078
Thanks for reminding me! I was so happy that someone gave a fck that I sort of did that without thinking. There are more surprises, though. Don't worry, they're unexpected. And most certainly NOT murdery in any way, shape, or form, I'm innocent, why are you giving me that look?

[Scorch215]

7443868 now you are making me think ofthe adve tires Commander Twilight Sparkle goes on in my main series.

So much not psychotic fun she has on her adventures.

Also why wouldn't I care? This is an interesting premises with only a few minor issues all writers struggle with

[Razzy]

Interesting start, I hope to see more. Always happy to see Chryssie and Sombra in a positive role.

Hmm, Chryssie either married Cadance or NMM?

[Palladium Pony]

7446620
...NMM makes no sense as she is the main antagonist.

[Razzy]

7447190 Well, it would make sense if she was in disguise, an extremely useful and dangerous spying position. But I guess that'd be too dangerous.

[Scorch215]

7447344 she wouldn't have been able to be openl part of the break out if she was a spy like that as shed need to be seen and stay close to NMM. So it wouldn't be possible for her to be anywhere else really. So defiantly not married to NMM.