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  • E Worlds Apart

    A lonely young man takes in Shining Armor and Cadance after he finds them on their doorstep, stranded from their own world. After becoming friends, the two ponies help the man open up to a woman he's attracted to.
    32,953 words · 8,176 views  ·  476  ·  30
  • T Sparké

    A human chef looking to open a restaurant in New York gets more than he bargained for when he winds up in Equestria. While there, he reacquaints with somepony from his past...
    77,413 words · 3,192 views  ·  364  ·  24 · sex
  • T Rehabilitation

    After managing to survive the rise and fall of Heisenberg, Jesse Pinkman, his mind and body shattered seemingly beyond repair, winds up in a place where he may finally be able to rest...
    5,849 words · 658 views  ·  112  ·  13 · gore
  • E Yu-Gi-Oh! P†H

    In an alternate reality in which dueling is Earth's greatest pastime, one duelist receives a mysterious card that unlocks his destiny that will lead him to becoming the savior of two worlds...
    265,767 words · 990 views  ·  54  ·  19
  • E Yu-Gi-Oh! Equus X Zexal

    A crossover of the anime Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal and my fanfic Yu-Gi-Oh! Equus.
    128,877 words · 1,981 views  ·  52  ·  21
  • E Yu-Gi-Oh! Equus

    An aspiring duelist's life changes forever when the world of Equestria appears near Earth.
    221,490 words · 2,538 views  ·  81  ·  49
  • T A Dramatic Turn of Events

    A famous real-life rock band from Earth winds up in Equestria.
    25,327 words · 1,001 views  ·  22  ·  10
  • T Wilee: Equestrian Courier

    Wilee, having fully recovered from his ordeal with the corrupt cop Bobby Monday, has a whole new adventure await him when he's sent by his boss, Raj, to assist Derpy Hooves as a courier in the town of Ponyville in the magical land of Equestria.
    2,978 words · 248 views  ·  12  ·  8

Blog Posts99

  • Monday
    Rainbow Rocks Can Now Officially Fuck Off

    This is where it's at.


    (And don't worry, the movie is subtitled if you want to see it).

    Yes, it's silly, wacky, and corny, but that's Bollywood for you, and it was still really damned entertaining. And this is what plays during the final dance segment. Just listen to this shit!


    Fucking amazing!

    1 comments · 39 views
  • 1w, 1d
    One of the Greatest Stories Ever Written

    My dad found this one back when I was in 6th grade, and it still makes me howl with laughter.

    Recently I was honoured to be selected as an outstanding famous celebrity in Texas, to be a judge at a Chili cook-off, because no one else wanted to do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me that I could have free beer during the tasting. So I accepted.

    Here are the scorecards from the event:

    CHILI # 1: MIKE'S MANIC MONSTER CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A little to heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.

    JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.

    FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway with this stuff. I needed two beers to put the flames out. Hope that's the worst one. Those Texans are crazy.

    CHILI # 2: ARTHUR'S AFTERBURNER CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: Smokey, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.

    JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavour. Needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

    FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave of two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre. They had to walkie-talkie in three extra beers when they saw the look on my face.

    CHILI # 3: FRED'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.

    JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili. A bit salty. Good use of red peppers.

    FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced.

    CHILI # 4: BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC

    JUDGE ONE: Black Bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

    JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods. Not much of a chili.

    FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills; that 300 lb bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear-waste I'm eating.

    CHILI # 5: LINDA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

    JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

    JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

    FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly from a pitcher onto it. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Fuckin' Rednecks! ! !

    CHILI # 6: VERA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

    JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spice and peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions and garlic.

    FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!

    CHILI # 7: SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

    JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum. Tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about Judge # 3.

    FRANK: You could put a fucking Grenade in my mouth, pull the fucking pin, and I wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my fucking mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit, to match my fucking shirt. At least the during the autopsy they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the four inch hole in my stomach.

    CHILI # 8: HELEN'S MOUNT SAINT CHILI

    JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending. This is a nice blend chili, safe for all; not too bold, but spicy enough to declare its existence.

    JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good balanced chili, neither mild now hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.

    3 comments · 60 views
  • 1w, 4d
    Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks Review

    14 comments · 108 views
  • 2w, 1d
    Are You Motherfucking Serious?


    You know, I'm now actually compelled to watch it in its entirety.

    2 comments · 65 views
  • 2w, 2d
    There, I Finally Fucking Saw It!

    8 comments · 110 views
  • ...
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#1 · 126w, 4d ago · · ·

dude

what

#2 · 126w, 2d ago · · ·

those portals just make me rethink the universe  

#3 · 126w, 22h ago · · ·

damnit discord

#5 · 121w, 5d ago · · ·

i can take the occasional hardcore pony x human clop scene, but holy fuck man, discord...and even fucking big mac.....:pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick::pinkiesick:

#6 · 121w, 4d ago · · ·

Apart from the clop parts ( I hate clop, but I tolerate it.), the Humour is great.

#7 · 120w, 3d ago · · ·

“It was just a group of horny bronies in some town in a place called Louisiana who casted some kind of black magic spell on a Jumanji board game and some of these My Little Pony figurines.  And voila, you now see the finished product.”

but... but... I don't know any black magic! That prick is trying to frame me!

#8 · 111w, 5d ago · · ·

Excellent clop with Twi.:twilightsmile:

#9 · 101w, 2d ago · · ·

...........hmmmmmmm............I like it though if discords the last boss....and the objective to win is by...having...sex.......:pinkiesick:.....nonononononononononon!....well maybe if he turns into a female discord ....my god i'm a sick person, or gets a female villain to proxy for him

Comment posted by 9Cirno9 deleted at 2:42am on the 22nd of May, 2013
#11 · 75w, 2d ago · · ·

Jesus. It’s wetter than the Mississippi here.

Oh god cant stop laughin :trollestia: :pinkiecrazy:

#12 · 67w, 1d ago · · ·

Apparently I'm the only one in the whole fucking world that wants to have sex with Discord but hey, more for me.

#13 · 51w, 22h ago · · ·

So, this time it's the bronies' fault?

Also

Of all of the horrifying and disturbing things I had ever seen, heard, or felt in my life, nothing will top Discord licking my penis.

This goes straight into my file of WTF clopfic quotes :eeyup:

#14 · 40w, 1d ago · 2 · ·

"Twilight's vagina then enveloped my face."

Vagina portal. Best. Fucking. Thing. Ever. Dude, you are a genius. :rainbowlaugh:

#15 · 17w, 3d ago · · ·

i feel the boss may be molestia

#16 · 15w, 5d ago · · ·

Woooo! Twilight my favorite character.

Hot. (っ´▽`)っ

#17 · 13w, 3d ago · · ·

Who is the mysterious jewel? ZECORA?! After all, it's always rhyming.

#18 · 5d, 18h ago · · ·

Okay, this story is messed up. Like, SERIOUSLY messed up.

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