as someone who loves both Vinyl and Octavia, you did well.

But Vinyl being a secret composer of classical music? Do you not read Vinyl fics?

I like that though, how you made every brony's favorite DJ have a refined, classical background.

I don't know if I am making much sense, as it is currently 1:12 in the morning. What i am trying to say is that I like how you changed Vinyl up a little bit. Normally i would punch whoever changed her in the face, but you did a good job.

I like your first chapter. One thing that's not quite clear. Is Vinyl Scratch the Staccato heir that Octavia admires? That wasn't particularly clear and if Vinyl is the one that Octavia admires how does that work into the timeline?

Edit: Apparently my problems were obvious and stupid. Two people have so far taken the time to inform me how foolish I am so.... Everybody else please feel free to not explain it to me or make me feel any more foolish then I already do.

>>429347429347 Yes Vinyl Staccto (She changed her name at some point in this story (I assume) to hide her identity), but Octavia doesn't know that Vinyl is in fact the composer that she admires.

First good chapter by the way, I'm looking forward on next installment of your work.

>>429347429347    

Anyway, very interesting so far. No obvious mistakes that I noticed and the set up looks good.  I wonder when Octy moved in to that building, and I'm curious how she got a'hold of Vinyl's work in the first place...  Can't wait to read some more.  Very curious how quickly Vinyl will reveal who she is once they meet.  

Looking forward the next chapter.

You defy all fanon related to VInyl's musical taste and take a new approach. I LOVE IT. Gotta get creative with it, you know. Arre you going to debunk other fanon too or just the assumption she's purely about night club music?

Small grammar nitpick first, you're missing some commas in there. So, keep an eye out in the future.

I'm liking the story so far. Let's see where this goes!

>>429307429307

It's about all I read, but after a while it gets so boring seeing the same thing constantly; so I thought I'd mix it up a bit. xD

>>429817429817

Depends on where the story goes! I want to make this as unique and creative as I can, so there's definitely going to be a lot of 'changes' to the Vinyl most people know. All I want is for people to at least enjoy the story, even if they don't really like my particular version of Vinyl.

>>430065430065

I generally try to catch things like this, I must have missed a few. I'll be sure to keep a closer eye on that. Thanks for the comment!

>>431600431600 that's fine! I love this vinyl and even if I didn't, I would still like this story!

>>431856431856

Thanks! It's nice to know that some people do like my version of Vinyl and my story!

I like your start you have here, please write more!

Great start at the fic totally tracking and liking keep it up

I enjoy it a lot, hope you write more

>>434367434367

>>435019435019

>>437830437830

Thanks for the comments! I'm most certainly not gonna stop writing this story any time soon and I hope you all enjoy it more as it progresses.

Waiting to see where this goes before raving...however my interest has been piqued.

I will track this indeed and see how you handle their meeting.

It has a lot of potential and time will tell.

So get the next chapter finished!

>>444374444374

Oh dear! Let's hope it's a good raving, jah?

>>446178446178

Indeed

more please

Yay, this updated. Joy~

And background is a pain in the flank to write, unless you've got your headcanon working for you. I can see where you're coming from.

Do upload chapter 3 soon.

wewt updates.

Poor Octy having wasted some of her money on now drenched food :(

I feel your pain.  Some scenes can be a MASSIVE pain to write.    I hope you didn't pull two or three versions of each section in the process.  The final product was quite satisfactory though.    Setts up things rather nicely for the next chapter, I'm looking forward to it.  

Nice setup for the future chapters

Setting things up is always hard to do in writing but it'll pay off in the long run

Awaiting the next chapter

>>509747509747

Yeah, I'm lucky in that my headcanon is pretty solid for these guys. Just have to put into words what I see playing out in my head. Of course my best ideas come to me while I'm in the middle of doing something at work so I can't just stop and write it down. Then by the time I get home I've forgotten all about it.

>>510726510726

I know right? All that money spent on food that's all soggy now!

>>511667511667

I actually rewrote that chapter about.... 4 or 5 times before I felt it was decent enough to keep. I did save the other versions I had for use later. One in particular I can't WAIT to use, it's gonna be quite an amusing read I think.

>>511862511862

Danke! I just hope I can keep a good set-up going on. xD

>>513413513413

...Truly I feel your pain my friend.  

>>513413513413 Ah, that kinda sucks. You need some type of note taking thing. Or at least something that will help you remember those ideas.

You finally updated :3

ah the plot thickens great work cant wait for more

Would Gabe be a pony name?

I suppose if it was like Doughnut Joe it could work

Love, love, love.

The name Gabriel did throw me off, not because it is out of place for a pony, but because it is a masculine name. Granted, Gabriel is one of the most badass names of all time, though. I found myself re-reading parts of the chapter to make sure I didn't overlook something and to make sure it wasn't just a set of typos. This, of course, distracts and detracts from the story.

Not sure if want, when it comes to Gabe, though. Fruitcakes? Gabe knows Bon Bon, but used that term to describe her and Lyra? Or was it meant form Lyra and Octy? Or, I'm just confused. Alls I know is that if one of my friends called another friend a fruitcake in a serious manner, they'd get decked on the spot.

All of the above is just my opinion, and should be taken with a grain of salt, just like anyone else's.

Hmm, still on the fence if Vinyl's change to a classical music composer is a good thing.

But besides that, great job so far, can't wait to see how you will eventually *fingers crossed* reveal to Lyra and Octavia Vinyl's past.

0 Dislikes?

Dayum.

>>586458586458

Gabe was referring to Lyra and Octavia, it her way of talking about unknown ponies. As for the name, it's a reference to the angel of the same name who serves as God's messenger in the bible. Granted, I'm not a majorly religious person; but the name Gabriel just kind of stuck in my head when I was originally designing the character. Her 'pony name' is Stalwart (or Stally, thus my ponysona) but she goes by Gabriel instead. Gabe usually has a nickname for everypony she's known for a while. For example, her name for Bonbon is 'B-Squared' or sometimes 'Sugar Rush'; and for Vinyl it's 'Gyro' or 'Decks'. Almost every nickname she comes up with has to do with food, Thus the 'Sugar Rush' and 'Gyro' names. Vinyl knows that Gabe wasn't referring to Bonbon when she said 'fruitcakes'; it's just how she talks. Make more sense now?

>>586988586988

That's not all she does, that's just what her special talent is; she's still a DJ, I'm not gonna take that away from her. I just haven't written a chapter yet where that fact would fit in.

>>585668585668

"As for the name, it's a reference to the angel of the same name who serves as God's messenger in the bible. Granted, I'm not a majorly religious person; but the name Gabriel just kind of stuck in my head when I was originally designing the character. Her 'pony name' is Stalwart (or Stally, thus my ponysona) but she goes by Gabriel (Or Gabe) instead." <- From my reply to Agarwaen

>>587388587388

Don't jinx it! If I get a dislike I'll cry

>>587765587765 Interesting. Well thought out, as well.  And sounds about right for a female in the military.

Thanks for the clarification.

>>587796587796

Not a problem! I'm just glad I was able to clarify rather than confuse more xD

This is a great story! I'm looking forward to where you take it.

>>610788610788

Thanks! Glad you enjoy it :)

Not a bad story so far. Although I did get lost a couple of times while reading it and had to reread some sections. This might be due to the large amount of names going around that makes it more difficult to keep track of who is who. Anyways I shall track this story and wait for another update.

>>647607647607

Yeah, I had a feeling it was a bit much, I trimmed down quite a bit of the characters that were originally going to be in the drinking scene, and removed several near the start. I'll most likely end up re-writing this chapter at a later date when I'm not so burned out. If anything, the other characters will make small cameos through the story.

This is a really nice story, I can't wait for the next chapter

>>648923648923

Thank you! :) Next chapter will be a pretty interesting one I think ;D

Good read, loving the pub scene it reminded me of a few nights out in the past. At least what little of them I can remember

Can't wait to see what happens when Lyra finds out about Bon Bons and Vinyls sleeping arrangement

Also here is a Scootaloo, for luck

>>649274649274

Should prove to be interesting! My friend and I came up with some interesting dialog for that particular scene.

Woo, my very own Scootaloo! *puts Scoots on her shoulder* There we go, now I'm ready to take on the world!

WOOOOO ME3 REFERENCE (I think, Tali drunk?)

And love it, though I got a bit confused around the Strings, Sticky, and Decks part. I think Vinyl's Decks, Lyra's Strings, and Bon-Bon's Sticky, though I can't be sure.

>>650811650811

Sticky is actually a reference to Vinyl's real identity as Staccato, Bon Bon calls her such in Chapter 2.

Strings is Gabe's 'official' nickname for Staccato, but since Vinyl keeps that fact hidden from the others she mentions that Decks (Her nickname for Scratch) should not be confused with Strings/Sticky.

Sticky/Sticks is Bon Bon's nickname for Vinyl from when they were foals, since she had a hard time saying Staccato when she was younger and Vinyl is skilled at playing the Violin/Fiddle

In short, Gabe was trying to confuse the others to keep them from figuring out Vinyl's identity and thus made a mess of a situation for Vinyl to have to explain when Octavia eventually asks her about it. That part was written late at night so I'll most likely iron it out when/if I rewrite this chapter in the future.

As a general rule, Gabe usually calls her Stings/Decks and Bon Bon calls her Sticky.

Also, Yes. Drunk Tali ;D

>>650852650852 Well, that makes it easier for me to understand. Thank you very much.

"Um, Tali, how are you getting drunk?" "Veeerrrryyyy careeeffullllyyyy."

>>651007651007

xD I'm surprised that made sense, I confused myself while typing it.

Drunk Tali made ME3 Tolerable. xD That ending was craaaaaaaaaaap

>>651044651044 That and Garrus. Oh man, I still can't believe all the awesome things he did.

"I'm Garrus Vakarian and this is now my favorite spot on the Citadel!" XD There was also a nice one with Garrus and Joker trading jokes.

Joker: "How do you know when a turian's out of ammo?"

Garrus: "He switches to the stick up his ass as a backup weapon."

I can't wait til Octy finds out that Vinyl is the composer of her music sheets.

I auto liked because somepony told me to. but i'll read later.

>>656807656807

Should prove to be an interesting exchange between the two! I can't wait to write it out xD

>>659151659151

Well, hope you enjoy it when you read it xD

I feel like you were sidetracked a lot during this chapter. Like, I feel that this chapter is basically just a side-story, and that it doesn't connect to the actual plot.

Why did you put in this whole scene with (almost) all of them drunk?

>>696285696285

It was originally going to have a bit more of Vinyl's identity revealed as well as more insight into Lyra's growing suspicions with Vinyl and Bon Bon; it will tie in a bit more with the next chapter, as it stands it does have a side-story feeling because there's nothing to tie it into the story besides a mention to going out drinking in the previous chapter. Next chapter should tie things in a bit more.

>>696493696493

That makes more sense.

I expect awesomeness from you.

Thank you for your time, and have a nice day.

>>696530696530

It's quite alright! I had been thinking about making the Drinking night a separate chapter; which is part of the 'side story' feel to it.

>>696539696539

Just as a suggestion; maybe next time you do something like this, you don't post the chapter(s) until you get to a point where it actually makes sense with the plot. That way you don't get anyone confused like I was.

>>696610696610

While that may be helpful in many aspects, it also can take away from the start of the next chapter if the Author intends to have it start immediately with the morning after. Although I will keep this in mind and perhaps word the next chapter if there should be one a bit better so that one won't get confused. :)

im so totally lovin this great work here and im lookin forward to seeing how it all plays out

>>705569705569

Thank ya! Hope you continue to enjoy it :)

>>740764740764

Image: http://i.imgur.com/QCnAx.png

I'm likeing the story so far. I hope Lyra and Bon Bon make up at some point. Lyras' being a fool, but Bon Bon isn't helping with her constant jabs that "at least I can trust Vinyl". I honestly like the pair and think someone should give them both a good ol' buck to the head to knock some sense into them. That's just my opinion though

The only problem I had was that the bar scene was a little hard to follow. I didn't even realize that Axe and Hatchet were sisters till the end. What might have helped would have been a slower introduction before they were all drunk. Like when Octavia entered the bar rather then after everypony was already hammered. Some of the best introductions can be givin by a more blunt character like Vinyl. Quick, easy and to the point. (I have a few friends who make those kind of introductions). Otherwise, I found it hillarious. These are just my opinions so you can disregard if you like.

Can't wait for the next chapter! Hope it's out soon! (no rush though, the best things take time)

>>784222784222

Yeah, The drunk scene was the most annoying one, I'll most likely re-write it at some point soon; perhaps once I get Chapter 5 finished. But thanks for the comment and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

So far, I absolutely love how your story is going. The characters are well rounded and have enough depth to feel natural. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Curse you and your cliffhangers!! But very good chapter, can't wait for the next one

short answer to a/n: yes

Long answer:

Image: http://iambrony.jsmart.web.id/mlp/gif/131327147782.gif

The tension, the secrets, the.... ALL OF THE THINGS!!!

Cant wait for more.

Oh the drama!

Very interesting interpretation of the characters

Write on! Go forth

defiantly worth the wait, like I sad before you have yet to disappoint can't wait for chapter 6, I hope you have a easier and less stressful time writing 6 than you did 5.

And now we wait... again.

Great chapter! Loved it. Poor Lyra.

Oh, now this is dramatic.

I actually like this difference in Vinyl's usual history (the ever-popular 'came from a poor family/no family' deal), it really adds quite a bit of depth to her.

Bah! We need MOAR chapters! Every time you make a good chapter (which is currently 5 if I counted correctly) you make us wait for another.

Can't wait for more awesome!

>>857159857159

But Cliffhangers are the best part! they keep you on the edge of your seat waiting for more!

>>857193857193

Woo! Glad you like it!

>>857213857213

Glad you like them! I wasn't sure how others would accept my 'newer' approach to some of their personalities.

>>857273857273

Hopefully! I already have a good start on it so far :)

>>857295857295

Well, she shouldn't have gone snooping! >:

>>857340857340

As a lover of Vinyl fics, I got tired of reading the same old 'I have no family because blahblahblah'/'My family was too poor so I had to blahblahblah' constantly. So I tried to come up with my own unique background for her, though I did tap slightly into the idea of her coming from an upper class family, I gave her all the hardships that her particular up-bringing; all of which will be explored in later chapters of course! :)

>>857508857508

Thank you! Glad you think they are well written :D Hopefully the more awesome will be out in no later than 2 weeks this time! xD

new update!

more waiting!

>>857778857778

Yay update! Boo waiting >:

yay!

Great chapter my friend. Would have comment on it hours ago but stupid damn interruptions kept getting in the way.

Well this is certianly building up into quite a storm.  So far there hasn't been any OctaviaXScratch and Lyra and Bon Bon are riding on thin ice.  I have to wonder what's so special about that jacket, and what, "happened last time" that's got Vinyl so twitchy.  Loving the pacing though, just hope we get some relief next chapter.  

>>859770859770

There will be! I just don't want to rush head long into it like a lot of fics end up doing, I like the anticipation of 'when will they get together? o:' as opposed to a few chapters in and it's like they are together and there's no separating them. As it stands, I'm working on a slightly more realistic approach, though I will have it go at a somewhat quicker pace so it's not too long of a wait. ;)

I am so confused.

Cool story though!

>>860687860687

What's confusing ya?

An alright chapter when you compare it to the first. While the background was written well, the dialogue seemed kind of forced in some parts. Namely, the constant repetition of the character's names kind of broke up the overall flow of most of the conversations. Additionally, you could probably loosen/shorten up your vocabulary a little bit:

“I would prefer to be at home myself. However, I must find my marefriend; she was due home several hours ago.” could be shortened to " I'd rather be inside myself, but I'm looking for my marefriend right now."

Unless you're trying to make them sound upper-class, I would hold off on the highfalutin-esque speech.  Either way, I'm looking forward to how this all plays out.

>>860956860956

Thanks! I'll keep that in mind. The first to chapters didn't have a pre-reader and I'm sure once I get further in the story I'll re-write a few of the first chapters; including some of the dialog in 2 and most, if not all, of chapter 4.

>>860764860764 EVERYTHING!

This is actually amazing and the efforts of Vynil to hide her true identity under presure and desperate situations are something awesome, even the whole leaf incident was clever

>>857340857340 >>857760857760

also light by motion: also lit by

To iEpsiolon: "Two's company, Three's a crowd" also has Vinyl coming from a rich family that she doesn't want to talk about, and Octy comes from a Irish father and a mid-class-ish mother.

Looks good so far, and I am enjoying the premise.  I will find it even more enjoyable if it continues on the path I feel that it will, and it continues to stay true to a teen rating.  I'll say more about it after I read the next 4 chapters.

& on a side note, as soon as I clicked on this story, 'Like a Spinning Record' began to play.

I said I would wait 'til reading the other chapters to comment on how I feel about it, but this chapter required a comment for two reasons:  Vodka, and more specifically, White Russians.  Very few people include them if they write about mixed drinks, and if they do they almost always forget, or don't know, that is a drink that must be constantly stirred to be good, otherwise it all just separates and tastes like watered down milk...

Anyways, the banter was extremely humorous and I am looking forward to reading the last chapter that is written, and sorry for taking so long to read them.

This is really good so far. I've always maintained in my thoughts that just because Vinyl is a DJ doesn't mean (or shouldn't mean) that she doesn't enjoy other types of music as well. I am beginning to wonder when you'll get around to the rest of the elements you mentioned in the description, namely Vinyl showing up to all Octy's performances and the compositions bit. Though from the way this chapter went, it seems like at least a little of that will be happening soon. I just.. expected there to be more performances between then and now. *shrugs* Anywho.. have a mustache Spike:

It's official, I love this story!!  The plot is fantastic and has a rather different take on Vinyl and Bon bon than normal, something that has made it enjoyable.  I can't wait to see where the story goes from here.  & for the record, it hasn't gone anywhere close to where I thought it would, so congratulations on that as well.

>>866596866596

Oops. Totally didn't catch that. Thanks! Fixed it now :)

>>867538867538

Thanks! Glad you like it :) I hope you continue to enjoy the story!

More, please.

Don't worry I have the cattle prod to keep her on track

>>979245979245

I will hide that damn'd thing!

>>979255979255 I have extras just in case Stally I am prepared even have extra batteries

All the drama!!!  It's wonderful.  Can't wait for the next chapter.

so much drama, cant wait for the next chapter

Giovanna?

...I like it.

*ponders whether there is more drama in the comments than the story.* lol. Love this so far, keep it up!

It's a good start. The pacing could use a bit of work though. It feels a bit rushed and parts of the story could afford to be a bit more detailed.

The characters need to be a bit more fleshed out, too. Don't just tell us what they're doing. Give us more insight on how each character feels and what they think.

This has potential though. I really like the premise, though you might want to consider changing your short summary. A story about "how they meet and end up dating"? I could tell that much just from the romance tag. It would be better if it was more descriptive.

Wow, that was great

I'm really enjoying this story, if it was possible to make your story more of a masterpiece you have just done so

This has given them all so much more depth and has made the story have so much more feeling to it than most other of this type. Well done

oh and for doing so have another Scootaloo

Keep up the fantastic work! Can't wait for more!