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More Stories2

  • T Setting Sky

    I screwed up. Bad. Like, the worst screwup in all of Equestria. And I don’t know if I can fix it. I want to, but I have no clue how to. I mean, how would it look if I came crawling back to her now, after the way I acted?
    3,976 words · 1,058 views  ·  58  ·  5
  • T A Pond Beyond

    You glance around, watching, waiting. Look at the people, at their nice new clothes, their shoes without any holes, their skin with meat instead of bone. Look at them, watch them, ‘cause they’re better then you are, boyo.
    5,181 words · 255 views  ·  32  ·  3

Blog Posts24

  • 6w, 5d
    No Wifi and No Writing

    For the past while I've gone without wifi and have been unable to do much anything. And I took a long ... looong break from writing. Kinda dealin' with life. Senior year of school, college recruiters, crappy luck and crappier family. But ... I'm back. It might not mean much, but I'm sorry.

    Keep livin', I'll be posting something soon hopefully

    4 comments · 16 views
  • 25w, 2d
    A taste of what's to come

    2 comments · 127 views
  • 26w, 2d
    A Mistake

    I made a mistake and now I'm hurting. I'm crying and I'm clutching my chest and sitting with this laptop not knowing what to write to make this pain go away. I was so foolish. So so foolish.

    I'm sitting here wondering why it's man's nature to love. Why did this trait that causes so much grief evolve with us? Why are we so willing to open ourselves up to so much pain at the slight chance of happiness?

    A Pond Beyond is now on hiatus. I'm in no mood to try and write that dead end of a chapter. My Spikiara story will still be worked on though.

    I wish I could take back what I had said to her. I'd still feel this pain, but at least she wouldn't know why I'm crying. I just want to tell her sorry.

    You know, I might just be over reacting. I'm sorry for bothering you all. It might hurt, but ... it's not like it'll kill me.

    27 comments · 109 views
  • 30w, 1d
    My Story

    I've been thinking lately about my life. I started doing head canon blogs a while ago, and while I mean to do another soon, I realize that headcanons are not enough to understand what's going on in my stories. To really understand, you have to know me, and know what my life is and was like. And thanks to a little push yesterday, I'm going to tell you almost everything about my experience from the beginning. And, no, I'm not looking for pity, or sympathy, or anything. I merely want my story--the one I could never write with any clue as to the ending but one I'm forced to write all the same--out.

    When my mother was younger, barely sixteen, she had lived most of her life in a really bad home. But, due to her beauty, she had hope for a future of modeling. Her fixation on modeling and her appearance unfortunately lead to her becoming anorexic. One day, she meet a boy at her school, and he gave her a chance to escape her problems for a while. But in truth he didn't care for her, and when she became pregnant, he left. She struggled hard while pregnant to battle her anorexia, and when the time came, she gave birth to a health child. But because of the child she lost any hope of pursuing her modeling career, and she was forced to drop out of school to support the boy.

    A year later, she met another man, seven years her elder and already divorced and with a son of his own. They started dating, and when she became pregnant with her second child they married. Then, the boy's younger sister was born.

    The boy wasn't treated the same as the man's son, nor his daughter. He was treated in a more stern manner, and while the man was never outright abusive, he was distant and unloving. Despite that, the boy grew up happy.

    When time came for the boy to go to school, it quickly became apparent to the teachers that he wasn't like most other children. He couldn't speak like a child his age should, and when he did it was with awkward phasing and little annunciation. He had trouble following direct orders and acted out severely. After many spankings from both the father and the principal, he eventually became complacent and "behaved". Fearing anymore similar treatment, he no longer interacted with other children in case he did something wrong. Because of this, the other children singled him out, leading to many years of torment and bullying for the boy.

    When he was old enough, his father started forcing him to play baseball on the local team. The boy didn't want to, but he thought if he did, his father would love him like he love his sister and brother, and maybe even stop the other kids. But it did neither, and it cause the rift between the boy and his father to grow as he was unable to meet his father's expectations.

    But thanks to the sport, he had built enough confidence and finally made his first friend, and then another. By that time, he was entering middle school, and he was actually starting to feel happy again. And with his second friends help, he was able to avoid the bullying. But then on summer, the boy's friend died in a car crash. After that, he became more withdrawn and temperamental, lashing out at the slightest provocation. This cause even more kids to hate him, even leading to several kids to attack and beat him an a daily basis. Yet, when he tried to tell the school staff, he wasn't believed and stated he was the one starting the fights.

    A few years go by, and everything stays the same for the boy. He no longer played any sport, because he gave up trying to please his father. So, instead, his father attention turned to his sister. The boy was ignored, and out of anger he separated himself from his family. His sister, seeing the way he acted, began to pick on him, despite being the youngest. But the boy wasn't aloud to retaliate, and by hiding behind her father, his sister never received punishment.

    The boy eventually found his first girlfriend. Fearing that she'd leave him, fearing to be alone again, he opened himself completely to her. That was one of his biggest mistakes. She became extremely abusive and controlling, further separation him from others, causing him to lose any friends he had managed to hold onto over the years. If it wasn't for her moving, he would have been with her for longer than what he had. And with her gone, he entered the ninth grade alone.

    With all the stress school put on him, along with the torment of his sister, his parents oncoming divorce, and loneliness, he set out to kill himself. But he could never bring himself to, and he eventually ran away from home and contacted the police about his fears of self harm. He was institutionalized for depression not long after. When he got out, his mother was living in an apartment away from his father, and he was forced to live with his aunt and uncle. There, he slowly started to get better, began to make friends and became less antagonistic toward others. It was the single most greatest time of his life.

    But then his mom and uncle began to fight over the money his mother never gave him to take care the boy. The uncle was afraid she was using it to run off and get high, and was abandoning the boy. So then the mom pulled the boy from his uncle and his happy life to live with her and her new boyfriend.

    His life became a line off pain after that, as the new boyfriend would beat him and his mother, and take all the money his mother worked for to by drugs. The boy starved, losing twenty pounds in the first few months of his life there. But, again, he made friends and tried to live the way his uncle would have wanted.

    He met a girl, and began to date her, but quickly ended it when he realized he was only using her and didn't care for her in the slightest. He began to fear he was becoming like the girl he dated so long ago. He tried to make it up to her by apologizing, and went out of his way to hook her up with a nicer guy. And when he saw how happy the two were together, he began to forgive himself.

    A year goes by and he begins to slip deeper into depression despite his efforts to stay happy. He eventually convinces his mother to let him move in with his father and sister. There, despite the way he was treated, he was able to get away from the stress of the abusive boyfriend and his mom. He made friends again and slowly becomes happier. He was now able to stand the way his sister treated him, and his father went out of his way to try and act more like a father to him.

    He eventually reached a low point and asked to be checked into another clinic for his depression. A week later, he came out to supporting friends and realized how lucky he was to have them. A few weeks later, he posted his first story to a fanfiction website, pushed by his friends.

    Now the boy sits at a computer, typing the heavily cut down and shorted version of his life with so many pieces missing, and despite his sadness he looks for reasons to smile in the morning.

    And with all of that, he has one thing to say:

    Thank you, all my followers, all my friends. Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

    I don't mean to complain about my life. That's not what I came here to do. I just wanted to tell my story, so really, thank you.

    You all are part of the reason I can smile today.

    10 comments · 72 views
  • ...

H-hey, it’s me, Fluttershy. I can’t come to the phone right now, so please leave a message if you want to. O-or you could just call again. I’ll try my best to get a hold of you. BEEP.

Hey, Flutters, it’s me, Rainbow Dash. Where the heck are you? You were suppose to meet us here an hour ago! AJ’s already left, and I don’t think the others will stay much longer. Just try and hurry. I’ll be here till it closes. CLICK.

Something happened to Fluttershy, and now no one knows where she is. The cops found her bag in the park, a part of her dress, and her phone. It's all Rainbow can do to stay stable, now that the one she loved is gone, possibly forever.

Now with a wonderful reading by VisualPony.

First Published
18th Dec 2013
Last Modified
18th Dec 2013
#1 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

The feels were great and powerful in this one my friend.

#2 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

First story huh? You my friend have potential because this was really good, you've got yourself a follower, hope to read more from you in the future.

#3 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

eres un grandioso escritor me encanto espero con ansias tu próximo:applejackunsure: trabajo sigue con tu grandioso trabajo

#4 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3643570>>3643601 Heh, :twilightblush: your comments have just made my night! It's great to see people actually reading my story!

#5 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3643663 Um, yeah, thanks for reading... but I don't speak Spanish. But thanks anyway!

#6 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

Wow.. the feels... :raritydespair: Glad it had a happy-ish ending though. I want to know what happened to Fluttershy.

#7 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3643848 No you don't. It is better left a noodle indecent. A description of what happened would make this way to dark.

#8 · 48w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

Personally, I think you should do a mini story from fluttershy's perspective on what happened. Any of us who survived cupcakes,smile HD,or Rainbow Factory can handle it.Anyways, great story!:twilightsmile:

#9 · 48w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

THE FEELS ARE TO DEEP!:raritydespair:

#10 · 48w, 5d ago · 2 · ·

New writer, eh? well, a piece of advice:

If you ever kill fluttershy for real, the entire brony community will be on your ass like phiranas on a cow.

with that said, good luck, and nice work.

#11 · 48w, 5d ago · 6 · ·

>>3643967 Oh no no no no no!!! :fluttercry: I could never kill her! In fact, I originally planed to, but I couldn't write through the tears... Eight straight hours of tear soaked pages.

#12 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3643988 i sure am glad u didnt

#13 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

Damn good for your first.

#15 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

This Is Ah-Mazing:raritystarry::raritystarry::heart::heart:

#16 · 48w, 5d ago · 1 · ·

Whoa.... You're a new writer...? :pinkiegasp:

Holy cow! This was amazing! I had to step away from my computer for a second and just realize what was happening!

Great story, really. Keep writing and never give up, because I know you're going to go far if you keep writing like this.

#17 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

I don't cry when I read. Ever.

You made me freaking cry. THE FEEEEEELLLZZZZ ARE SO DEEEEP

i just

its so




#18 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

She is alive, oh thank heavens she is alive!

This is powerful, truly. Thank you

#19 · 48w, 5d ago · · 1 ·


Psssh I bet it's not as bad as some of the mlp horrors such as Cupcakes, Mare do well, pages of Harmony, ect. Sadly thought the fic did not make me a little sad, however if this was Dashie than it would have been a issue with me.

#20 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

"Wow, this fanfic was pretty great! I wonder what other stories this persoFIRST STORY ARE YOU SHITTING ME?!"

Seriously, that was really good. The pace was great, you got the emotions trough well, you let us connect with Dash not only as a part of Fluttershy's group of friends, but at the personal level too, without toning out the other characters. It's simply awesome.:yay:

#21 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·

>>3644155 i... never read stories with this few likes, but... this... manly tears were shed on this day.

#24 · 48w, 5d ago · · ·


#25 · 48w, 4d ago · 3 · ·

You... You're telling me... This is.. Your... FIRST story??!!! WOW. Just, wow. I was close to tears, and I never cry at fan fics! :fluttercry: This is beautiful, congratulations!

#26 · 48w, 4d ago · 5 · ·

First fic and this pretty much rips out the feels?  Well shit.

#27 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

That. Was so freaking gorgeous. :applecry: Just... Lovely, fantastic job, especially for a first fic! I personally have not been able to post a story quite yet, and I'm happy to see that your first fic was so good. I know I'm not the first to say this, but gosh, all of the feels. :fluttercry:

One note, though...

We stayed that for endless minutes

Did you mean that way?

#28 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3647560 Okay, thank you, It is fixed!

>>3646239 Go on, list. I got all day :ajsmug:

#29 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

This story, no matter how short hit a very deep note with me. I know what it's like to be in this kind of situation. I just wish I could have the same happy ending. :fluttershysad:

#30 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·


#31 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3648274 I am sorry to here that. My :heart: goes out to you, my friend.

#32 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

Oh man....damn... I nearly cried, following, and fav

#33 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

It takes a lot of talent to tell a story through dialogue alone.  You, my friend, have that talent in spades. :ajsmug:

My only contention is that the ending bit seems out of place (and also wall-of-text-ish, but not illegibly so).  In a story told solely through the messages on Flutters' answering machine, that last scene in the hospital kinda comes out of nowhere and is a bit jarring.  However, I'm not sure how I would end it differently, because without that scene, the story just kinda stops.  I mean, it wouldn't make sense to conclude the story with another message on the answering machine, would it?  Hmm. :unsuresweetie:

Beyond that and a few very minor nitpicks (the cover art choice is a bit odd, seeing as I assume this is taking place in the Equestria Girls universe :duck: ), this is not half bad.  All of the emotion is successfully conveyed, and it's done so in a very unique way.  If this is your first story, then I predict great things in your future.  Hats off. :moustache:

#34 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3648658 Yeah, I feared it was a little jarring, but it was the best I could do. As for the cover, :twilightblush: I couldn't find any good Sad Human Dashie photos (that weren't... horrible to put it lightly) If you find a good one, tell me and I'll change it.

#35 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3648687 Well, you could always make a request in this group for cover art. :raritywink:

#36 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·


I appreciate it. Not enough people are sympathetic.

#37 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

This story is beautiful! This didn't make me officially cry, but my eyes are slightly wetter than before, so if this story was just a little bit longer I bet I would've cried. For a first story this is great! Also, doesn't this need the romance tag?

#38 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3649239 I wasn't sure if it needed that tag, because it really doesn't feel like a romance. A romance is where one character woos another throughout the entire story. But that is not the case with this, for Fluttershy needed no real wooing, and was missing the majority of the story. :twilightsheepish: Heh, I might be thinking to much into it.

#39 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

Cannot. Resist. MANLY TEARS! :fluttercry: ES MAGNIFICO! Let's see some more!:raritystarry:

#40 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

Im not crying.... Its... Its liquid pride :raritydespair:

#41 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

Truly not bad for your first story. It's nice and simple, a short lil' one shot, which is a lot better than trying to keep up with a chapter story on your first try. I'm a living example of that. :unsuresweetie:

I really enjoyed it, though I do have a few nitpicky things to say, as I always do. You were a little heavy on the stuttering, and all those dashes and semicolons can really cloud up a story with repetition. It's something that gets better as you go, but you'll be able to notice your little trip-ups like that in the future. :twilightsmile: Another little nitpick, as it seems to be my duty now, the relationship between Rainbow and Flutters felt a little rushed. Maybe if we got to see more in that hospital scene how they attached. But on the other hand, that would make the story longer, and one of the attractions of a story like this is that it's simple and short. So it's really your choice on that one, all depends on what you wanna write. Go nuts, man! :trollestia:

Anyway, don't listen to my little buggings. This is a lot better than my first fic was, and doesn't have any major grammar problems and is truly captivating by your first glance at it on the front page, which is more than most writers on here can say. It's just a great first story! Keep working, and you'll get even better at it. I'll be watching you in the meantime. :twilightsheepish:

#43 · 48w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Was expecting the ending to be a lot worse, kind of bitter sweet ending to it.

Have to agree with the others who have said you made a lot out of just dialogue alone, and you deserve kudos for this, especially as your first fic.

Good job, hope to see more from you! :twilightsmile:

Addendum: Actually, I agree that you don't need to go into what had happened… what Fluttershy went though. It's not necessary, really. We can infer what happened well enough that you don't have to go through what trauma Flutters went through. I hope you don't, as I feel it would detract from this story.

#44 · 48w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

That is a very beautiful story.

#45 · 48w, 4d ago · · 6 ·

Fluttershy doesn't stutter.


#46 · 48w, 4d ago · 4 · ·

It's hard to explain how, but your way of telling the story through dialogue only made all the feels much more real for me. I could feel the gravity of the whole awful situation. It's was a good move not describing what Flutter went through, since using my imagination only put me in the same worried state as Rainbow.

The ending was realistically  bittersweet, since the whole group was devastated from this, and it's going to take a long time to recover. But as long as they stay strong through friendship and love, they can heal...

Look at what your making me say, all this sentimental bullcrap. IMMA MAN DAMMIT! :fluttercry:

Thank you for the unexpectedly good read and I'm looking forward to more of your work.

#47 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

That was nice. I enjoyed it. Short and sweet.

#48 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3643888 If I had to guess, it probably would be something similar to what happened to Rainbow Dash in Technicolor Dom-in-8-ion

#49 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

Wow... that was, honestly, very enjoyable. Good job!

#50 · 48w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Damn, that story reminds me of Batman Arkham City, when you listen all the calls sent by the Joker. :fluttershysad:

Excellent first story bro, I expect more from you :coolphoto:

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