ETime And Again

• MLP: FiM
• Romance
• Slice of Life

Minuette plans to tell Twilight her feelings, but with a twist.

• Twilight
• Minuette

Jhoira · 1000 words  ·  125  3 · 2k views

Summary: Minuette's long had a crush on Twilight. While she knows a princess wouldn't be interested in her she still contrives a plan to tell her love about her feelings. While ensuring that it doesn't ruin their friendship.

This review contains SPOILERS.

Initial thoughts: Alright, this is a short one shot of just 1,000 words. It has to cover a lot in a short amount of time, and that is not easy. So how does this one do it? I think it’s the comedy here that really sells the story for me. The romance feels a bit forced from the beginning. Like, it is believable but there could’ve been more time for it to develop, but we really don’t get that due to the short run time and it’s a shame. But for what I did get, it made me laugh at how silly and naive it all was. 7/10.

Heart of the story-The “heart” here is the romance. That’s what is the main plot thread. So Minuette has always had a crush on Twilight and never knew how to tell her, but every time she gets to tell her, she uses a spell to make herself go back in time. And Twilight knows it but plays along. The simple simplicity of using Twilight’s knowledge of time travel here doesn’t feel like a red herring, and is also a great way to capitalize on Twilight’s quirks. Minuette, well I can’t say a lot about her besides that she makes me laugh, and I almost feel this could’ve warranted a comedy tag, but that’s not the focus. Overall, it’s a cute and heartwarming story about Minuette getting courage to ask Twilight out, only for Twilight to know the entire time. 8/10.

Characterization:The characterization here is mostly on Minuette she’s the “story teller” if you will as we see it through her eyes. She’s naive, nervous, and cute. She goes through a lot of things associated with having a crush, the nervousness, the tension/anxiety, the doubt. All within a thousand words. That’s not easy to pull off, and the author has done well to convey the emotions here.

Twilight’s characterization while brief is still important as she is where we learn she knew all along that Minuette liked her, and has been letting Minuette work up the courage to ask her out all this time, making it like a game between the two without Minuette knowing she was playing it. It’s a very sneaky tactic, and a very effective way to characterize Twilight and give her a vital role in this tale. 

Excellent.: 9/10

Story/Concept: The concept of this is very simplistic at it’s base, but that’s not always a bad thing. The story is a decently weaved tale, and I don’t have much to say here that isn’t repeating what I already said. Good job. 8/10

Originality/Execution: Now this is where the story falls a little bit flat. It’s not original, and the execution while cute and charming could have been shown more in the actions/descriptions of Minuette as she tries to confess her feelings to Twilight only to get flustered each time, making the emotional outbursts all the more impactful, and emotionally gripping. It’s not bad. Not, but it’s not great either. I feel like having the story limited to only 1k could have hindered the development here. I could easily see this kind of story at a minimum of 5k but it is what it is, and for what it is, it made me laugh. 6/10

Overall thoughts and feedback: I enjoyed this story, if you couldn’t tell. It’s a cute and charming little look at crushes, feelings, and time travel, all wrapped into a romantic story about Minuette trying to confess her feelings to Twilight. And in the end, we all know, Twilight knew all along, and that makes the payoff in the end all the more cute and feels realistic to Twilight's character.
Final score: 7+8+9+8+6=38/50
7.6/10

Headpat worthy
Boop worthy: Yes. While it’s a good story, there’s just some little bits here and there that hold it back from headpats worthy. It’s cute, charming, and even made me laugh. Good job.
Needs work:

To the author: Keep doing what you’re doing! I don’t know how I’d convey all the emotions, expressions and mannerisms you managed to squeeze into 1k words. Good job. Keep writing.

To the reader: If you’re looking for a simple, charming, cute little fluff, then this is your story. And the best part is it’s only 1k. I’m sure many can find the time in their day to read and enjoy this, and I’d say it’s more than worth a glance.

Yay! *Claps happily!* Now to get off my butt and write more horse words.