TThe Cost To Know Everything

• MLP: FiM
• Dark
• Adventure
• Thriller

Are our worlds really connected? How far will one girl go to have this question answered?

• Death
• Anthro
• Human
• Alt. Universe
• Fluttershy
• Other

Thunder--Dash · 11k words · 129 views

Review: The Cost To Know Everything

Tags: Death, Dark, Adventure, Thriller

Summery: I told you there were humans!

Review: Ok, so an interesting aspect.  Very good something that is never the same… good… let’s see more good stuff.... Decent grammar, decent flow, alright character development.

(in depth Line)

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Progluge was pretty short... I felt this was a little bit rushed.

The Spark chapter... There isn't a lot of details like time or day... ussully lunch time could be anywhere between 11 to 5... so maybe? (So the time isn't clear which is a glaring issue.)

The Sign chapter... I like this chapter more because it has character development in it. Do more of that.
but you tell it and not show it... which is kind of bad.... i mean oversleep could lead to much more details such as.... she got out of bed and tripped and then used her left/right hand to hit the alarm clock... her body was shocked and ran.

The Arrival Chapter... i haven't seen anything besides the 3am where you could of just said 3 A.M. since it's all mostly has to be in caps.

The First Contact... i don't see anything wrong (skip)

The Integration there is a lot of ... pauses... which I'm ok with it... some might disagree it might be too much though.

The Growing Curiousity you can use ( , ) instead. Sometimes in grammar it must be needed at some point.
the last above 4 paragraphs you had a ... like lol...lol yeah that. it's like beep beep beep beep pattern.

you did this in the next chapter The Interview, The Search fo The Answer, The Ritual, . (skip)

The Race chapter is alright. nothing wrong.

The cost yeah I have to say the same thing too much ...

it would be better to tell the read in your author's note right at the first prologue and then at the end of the story.
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(depth ended line)

 Ya know what I think this is a 6/10.

I do like the story don’t get me wrong… the thing I have for this is you need to make it darker… and just a tiny bit less of an adventure. And that is pretty much it.

7922659
Alright, I have no stake in this whatsoever, and neither the story nor the author interest me, but this is where I feel I have to speak up.

What is this?

No seriously, look at what you wrote and ask yourself, “what is this?”

This isn’t a review. It’s not even close. It’s not even a paragraph. You can’t just slap a number down and call it a review. You can’t write “blah blah blah” and expect people to take your review seriously. The summary isn’t even a summary, it’s a semi-sarcastic jab.

Reviews are an integral part of the writing process, meant to provide insight into a story; the pros, the cons, and all the in-between. They are made to help the author understand what they did wrong and what they did right. They need to be non-biased and fair, and provide examples for what was good in the story and what wasn’t, and how the author can improve upon those weaker points. A review is meant to provide helpful and thoughtful discourse into the writing process.

What you wrote here does none of that. It’s an insult to the reader’s time and the author’s intelligence, and provides no helpful means for them to use in overcoming any shortcomings they might have. As a reviewer, you should know better. You cannot have TL;DRs. You have to create a review that is good quality and provides helpful feedback, whether the story deserves it or not. You are, in essence, creating your own work of writing that draws readers in. The review doesn’t need to be thousands of words long. It doesn’t need to be an essay. It doesn’t need to beat a dead horse. It just has to provide quality feedback for the author and give anyone else reading the review a reason to either avoid the story or consider reading it, which your review does not.

And don’t just say “good [this]” or “bad [that]” (what does “a tiny bit less of an adventure” even mean?). No. Provide examples and show what makes it good or bad, or else you’re just saying words to check off a box. In other words, don’t be lazy.

Try again, please.

7922673
You should sign up to do some reviews. We could always use more contributors around here. I'm probably going to post a review in a week or so personally, but we honestly have far too many to do and too few to do them.

7922742
Sorry, I wish I could, but I don’t usually have a lot of time during the day to devote to time-sinks like reading a lot of stories and reviewing them. I barely have enough time most days to write my own stuff (which has already taken a back seat due to life).

Still, I wish you all the best in finding people who can help with the workload, and in your reviews. Just don’t burn yourself out, okay?

7922751
I only ever do like one or two a month, personally, so I don't think I'll burn myself out... hopefully.

Anyway, thanks for the positive vibes, though.

Really...as the author...I say the same. I was expecting an in-depth review. This was just downright lazy. I'm sorry but you're gonna have to do better than this just like GTthe4th said.

7922673 The title of this group is '...little review...'

What 7922659 wrote is little, indeed, which aligns with the name of this group.

The way I see it, any feedback is better than no feedback. Sure, the current text isn't a thesis, but it's more than nothing which makes it A okay in my book.

7922792

She is a short reviewer. Yeah I know it seems not in depth..... but i think that shes good in her own way of doing things. I mean 11k words is still small to review after all for her... since her biggest review was somwhere 1.2m words..
Since it's short She can do the next one when everyone waited for weeks on end... until they get more reviewers I think it's the best strategy on in take.

7922792

Usually, I let the author ask questions. to go in depth. Also, I don't want to go super in-depth and spoil it for the readers. The only thing I wish you had done better though was a long prologue and a long epilogue with many details on how to begin. Like a pilot for example. it doesn't have to reach 2k words or more it just needs to be more eye-catching... if you know what I mean.

so you wanted more in depth well I can do it right now since I now have all the time in the world. so let's do it now.

7922673

7922792

ok in depth.... we will be updating this soon.

7922673

7922792

for in-depth....
does that look better?

7922800
That's quite possibly the most disingenuous thing I've ever seen you say. The word "Little" in the group is very obviously a callback to "Little" in "My Little Pony." I would say this is unbelievable, but...

7922822
It’s slightly better, yes. It could still be improved, but for the sake of this review, it is better and provides some helpful feedback that can be talked about. That being said, some better grammar would be nice (capitalization is all over the place, the sentences read more like thoughts than descriptive points, etc.), as well as getting rid of all the ellipses (...); they aren’t needed and make the review look messy.

(Also, get rid of the “blah blah blah” bit at the top.)

7922800
Out of all the bad takes I’ve heard you say on this site Bad Dragon, this is by far the worst. You know as well as I do that the title of the group (My Little Reviews & Feedback) is a reference to the show, NOT the length of the reviews. Don’t try to skirt around fair criticism and defend bad reviewing practices using technicalities and loopholes that don’t even match what you’re defending.

Also, I did not ask for a thesis to be made. In fact, I specifically said that it didn’t have to go that far. You would know that if you actually read over my comment instead of skimming it. I merely said that the review has to be good quality and provide good feedback, which the original review (before the update) did not do.

And as for “any feedback is better than none”, I’ll say this in response: writers and reviewers are held up to certain standards. Saying “a tiny bit less of an adventure” is not constructive feedback, not unless it tells the author why that is so. Otherwise, it’s just a subjective opinion that means nothing. And sure, you could say that all reviews are subjective opinion at the end of the day, and that would be correct. However, reviews are subjective opinions presented as authorities on the subject they’re reviewing. That is why they are held up to certain standards of quality that should never be compromised.

Would you accept this as proper feedback that you could use to better your writing skills: “decent character development, decent setting, bad world-building, bad plot”? Speaking just for myself, I wouldn’t. It gives me as the writer nothing to go off of. It gives me no examples of what I did wrong. It gives me no reason why I should go back and change things.

Again though, this isn’t my story, so I cannot hold any claim to what its author will say on the matter. Their standards are different from mine, just like everyone else’s. But regardless, any and all feedback given from a review must be constructive and worthwhile, otherwise it falls apart.

From the basic rules and expectations forum post for reviewers:

• It must be fair and objective.
• Should not spoil the whole story for no reason or ruin the reading experience, except the reviewer states so in his description.
• Also the reviewer has to read the story completely and not just skim it when it is under 3k words.
• It shall contain constructive criticism. A break down of what works and what doesn't to show the author how to improve.
• A summary of the story.
• A rating of some kind that is relevant for the story
• Give feedback what is good and what needs fixing or more work
• Don’t insult the author, for they put work into this!

You can summarize the story in a paragraph without ruining the reading experience for potential readers. I’ve done it before, and so have thousands of other reviewers. A summary is not meant to spoil, it’s meant to give the basic, bare-bones description of what the story is about in the words of the reviewer.

Read the edited review. I'm not one to write dark stories. I don't really like darker stories. This story for me was to really teach a valuable lesson. I'll still take this review.

7922920

T_T do i have tooo >.> dawwww no fun...

7922943

I have so many questions on why you place a dark tag. forgive but... dark is dark... whether it's a dark light or a deep dark... but unfortunately we see a tag and once it's there... we think that it also has a darker into the story... So by all means this is a soft dark story then since there is a dark tag after all in this fiction.