4291404 We've got an asexual, demisexual, and grey-A discussion thread here. It's got a link to AVEN and some other resources, and a few thoughts from some members of the group, but I don't know enough to compile a thread like this one.

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I've been trying to come up with a half-decent response, but the only thing I can come up with is my support of this thread. That's absolutely everything I can offer. You've already done everything else.

Hats off to you and much applause. Whatever videogame meme actually applies to this.

Thank you, Proper Noun., from the bottom of my dark little heart.

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Several updates have been made.

really informative. also really nice for dumbasses who feel the need to use those annoying terms.

Very good post overall, but I do have one nitpick.

Futanari ("futa"): A term from Japanese porn, especially hentai, which refers to and fetishizes feminine characters who have penises. This is also usually considered derogatory for the same reasons as "shemale." It further is used to fetishize situations trans women generally find very shameful and painful, such as an erection in a public place on seeing someone attractive. Also, if you're going to use this word at all, you are required to write the entire post in pseudo-Japanese weeaboo-speak and write "desu" at least five times more often.

I've never seen "futa" used in relation to transgender people. It's just a "girls with penises" fetish. As in someone who is in every way biologically of the female sex, assigned at birth, two X-chromosomes... but they happen to have a penis and possibly also balls. Maybe it's just my cis maleness shining through but I don't see how that, or the general concept of "girl with penis" is automatically a slur for transgender people. It just seems tangentially linked at worst. If anything, I'd call it a less offensive version of "tranny" (which is undoubtedly a slur) porn.

And, my personal opinion on that aside, I think that, at the very least, I can objectively say that last sentence is completely unnecessary and irrelevant to the rest of the post.

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And, my personal opinion on that aside, I think that, at the very least, I can objectively say that last sentence is completely unnecessary and irrelevant to the rest of the post.

Interesting, because I was just thinking the same thing about the last sentence in your post.

I don't suppose you've heard of the concept of a 'joke', right? It's a strange thing that humans do.

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It's unnecessary. The rest of the post before then hadn't been very heavy, so it's not like they needed to brighten the tone. And it's not even that funny. It's a weeaboo joke. Been there, heard that, it wasn't funny back then either.
Inserting a random barely-on-topic jab at a group of weirdos does not a joke make.

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Yeah, there's going to be idiots whose mind jumps to "futa" whenever they hear than non-op trans women have penises. I can't excuse them, they're idiots, no arguments there. But that doesn't make it a slur, or even inherently offensive. It's not fetishizing trans women, it's fetishizing the idea of women with penises. And having said "women with penises" in it doesn't automatically make it related to trans women. That's just a trait shared between the fictional futa females that inhabit hentai and fanfiction, and the non-op trans women that inhabit real life.

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It's actually a ridiculously common thing, behind only "shemale" and "tranny". I'm not sure where you've been, but you missed something. There are a lot of people who use it for trans people (mainly on the internet), including a small number of trans people (usually younger ones without much of an education who think that's actually the technically correct term because they simply don't know any better).

It's on the list, and it's staying there. (edited)

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It's kind of sad that some people apparently educate themselves with hentai.

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I understand trans women not being comfortable with futa, but that part of the post made it seem as though the very concept of futa is an insulting fetishization of trans women, and a slur.

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You mean Futaquestria? You honestly think that every single person in that group considers trans women to be the same thing as futa?

Okay, I'm going to test that out. I'll join the group and post a comment, right on the front page, asking "Do you think trans women are the same thing as Futa?" and wait a week. If most of the answers are yes, then I'll concede you're right.

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Jesus Christ.

No.

I should've said nothing.

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Okay, yeah, that was a stupid idea. Let's just agree to disagree before I do something else stupid.

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There is no opinion here to agree to disagree on. If it weren't frequently used in reference to trans women and in the experience of actual trans women I know, and hadn't also occurred in this group, I wouldn't have put it there.

End of story.

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Actually someone already did that months ago and that's exactly what happened.

Besides, "futa" is moonspeak anyway. We already have multiple words for this biological configuration without descending into weebdom.

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Oh, well that's that then. Futaquestria is a bunch of ignorant knobs.

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You win. I concede. You are completely correct, just, please, let's stop this discussion. I didn't come to this group to defend fanfiction about Twilight giving herself a dick, nor do I terribly want to.

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Besides, dicks are best when they're shared.

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Hear, hear.

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Otherkin in general, though... frankly have nothing to do with gender.

A lot of Otherkin claim it's more of a spiritual thing rather than dysphoria.

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That's good to know, I'll put that in there somewhere. I don't know a lot about them.

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Late to the party, but these posts are awesome. Good job.

4279853 Just found this today: It's a crisis hotline, staffed by trans* volunteers.Trans Lifeline.

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Me neither, but I just heard that and thought it was important to mention.

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I already had that number on the front page of Transgender bronies.

4328852 Oops!

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Can hormone therapy also be used to cure a trans person of their dysphoria?

It can help alleviate it, but there is no such thing as "curing" dysphoria. It always stick with you no matter what.

Very well written indeed, a very good broad and general guide that would not be in the know and very articulate in putting forward a very good guide.
I am also very glad you had the ability to admit there may be other conditions and that all people are individuals, there are those that like to say there are hard fast rules that cover every situation and every situation is covered by a hard fast rule, but there are always exceptions if we chose to look harder.

Adding my two bits into the ring, Other kin are based on the idea of having a soul that is not human, though, it is not directly mentioned, it can be seen in the Buddhist belief system of being reborn as something else in the next life and in other cultures where they might dress as an animal to receive the blessings of that animal before the hunt, I am eclectic in my belief system and follow many elements of many different belief systems, and do believe I am other kin, it is how I see myself inside, some call it "Tran specie". but again, it is not a fit all belief system and really is very individual.

But even our "Inner self" image can change over time, though it does not have to,

I have often heard the term "Special Snowflake" applied to many who feel they are not quiet human in their soul being. "Special Snowflake" though is very derogatory when used in reference to anyone who is outside of what is considered to be normal.

To end: I am a fan of Morgan Freeman's through the wormhole.

Life itself is very individual, how we think, how we feel, what we know, why we chose, what we chose, who we chose, why we do something, why we don't do something and so on. Most of all, we are individuals.

ummm.. Why are they called InterSex and not InterGender ?

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Because intersex people have elements of both male and female reproductive systems (thus sex, not gender).

4531519 a, ok, thanks

p.s. You shod maybe ad this xe, xem, xyr

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4279853 I really wanted to do some research on Trans and things like that, and this helped. Thanks

Please assume tone without malice.
You might want to include something on the gender binary, gender identity disorder(GID), why the disorder model is disparaged(«Why do I need someone to tell me what my gender is», keep your laws off my body, etc)…include the kanji for futanari (二形).
It may be helpful to note that hermaphroditism was the term for intersex individuals… a century ago.

Genderqueer: The gender of someone whose gender is not male or female, but somewhere 'in between'.

How to put this respectfully..."Queer" is, to the best of my knowledge, about being outside of/dismantling the standing [usu. harmful/undesired] paradigms such as the gender binary. Claiming that it's "in between male and female" is assuming a stance within that sort of societally-imposed framework, contradicting the spirit of genderqueer.

Move those caveats to the top.

he/she

should also be understood as an «I don't know what to put here» that is not necessarily pejorative, often just a short form of «he or she» for those who insist that singular «they» is ungrammatical and don't want to use it. «He-she» is the form I always see when it is applied to transgenders in the «I am applying a label» sense.

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something on the gender binary

I believe this has already been addressed by attempting to present gender as a varied and non-binary thing.

gender identity disorder(GID), why the disorder model is disparaged

Added. Seems appropriate alongside other outdated terms, like "transsexual."

Claiming that it's "in between male and female" is assuming a stance within that sort of societally-imposed framework, contradicting the spirit of genderqueer.

I am not certain I understand what you want because I don't know what you mean by "the spirit of genderqueer." Updated with re-researched (i.e. five minutes on google) information anyway; does the new entry answer your concern?

Move those caveats to the top.

Sorry, no.

include the kanji for futanari (二形).

Sorry, no.

It may be helpful to note that hermaphroditism was the term for intersex individuals… a century ago.

Updated.

He-she is the form I always see when it is applied to transgenders in the I am applying a label sense.

Fixed.

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I didn't have much to do, so I finally decided to read this even though I already know pretty much all the stuff. :P

Futanari ("futa"): A term from Japanese porn, especially hentai, which refers to and fetishizes feminine characters who have penises. This is also usually considered derogatory for the same reasons as "shemale." It further is used to fetishize situations trans women generally find very shameful and painful, such as an erection in a public place on seeing someone attractive. Also, if you're going to use this word at all, you are required to write the entire post in pseudo-Japanese weeaboo-speak and write "desu" at least five times more often.

Dear god, I laughed so unbelievably hard at this part.

What about otherkin, trans-race people, and exotic genders like mayonnaise?

"Exotic genders? That sounds much different than what it is.

Some cisgender women and many trans men like to pee standing up (and have tools to assist), so there's no real need to deprive anyone of urinals.

Wait, really? And I don't see much point in urinals besides stopping people from peeing on the toilet seat. Stores would probably save tons of money by just having a gender neutral bathroom anyway.

Wow, this guide was much more impressive than I originally thought when first diving into it. Very nice.

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Sorry again, but I've posted this in a number of group threads without actually getting any significant response, so I'm actually kinda desperate to hear from transgender experts on this.

Warning: Long Post.

To be clear, bear in mind the fact that there are multiple aspects of gender dysphoria. For simplicity's sake, I'll present three main types:

1. Physical (general),
2. Genital,
3. Social.

Different trans people experience the three types to differing extents.

For some trans people, the social aspects are what most affect their gender dysphoria. They want to be treated, socially, as their gender identity, and this is the highest priority for them. Often, as long as the people around them start treating them like their gender identity, a lot of their discomfort can be resolved. Sometimes, trans people with a lot of social dysphoria might end up overdoing their target gender (initially), going a bit overboard with dresses or being gruff and manly (depending on the direction they're going).

For most trans people there is also a degree of physical dysphoria. This is where they are uncomfortable with their own bodies. There are a LOT of subtle factors that eventually add up to our mental assessment of "male/female." Your average person is not quite aware of these factors; in their minds, they think "nice boobs/butt = female, no boobs w/ short hair = male." They are not aware of the countless subtle factors including:

-Shoulder width (according to one study, there's only about a one inch difference in biacromial [shoulders, bone to bone] width between men and women at around age 18 or so)

-Hip width (this is possibly one of the most important areas for hormone-based sex differentiation. Females tend to have broader pelvises with a rounder hole in the middle [not that you can see this hole while the person is alive] compared to male pelvises)

-Brow ridge (do you notice how when people draw cave men that their foreheads tend to protrude out a lot around the eyebrows? If you look carefully, many males tend to have this brow ridge, while in females it is noticeably less pronounced, and their foreheads are rather flat even if they angle outwards at the bottom. This is actually a very key area we look at when we try to determine gender by looking at someone's face)

-Jaw line (actually, less important than the forehead, I think. There are many beautiful women in the media with strong jaw lines, like Keira Knightley. But you're hard pressed to even find an unattractive women with prominent brow ridges)

-Chin width (chins are broader in males, generally speaking)

-Eyebrows (this is more artificial than anything. Many women will shape their eyebrows to look more "womanly" but it's not a feature that will tip the scales alone, unlike a brow ridge)

-Ribcage (women typically have smaller ribcages. Combining smaller ribcage/shoulders with larger hips, you get a lot of cartoon women with non-existent upper bodies with gigantic hips, like Dexter's mom.)

-Hands/feet (women tend to have smaller hands/feet. Usually not that noticeable unless they're extremely large/small)

These are just some of the many subtle factors that people actually use to differentiate between male/female. Trans people heading in both directions learn all of these things to death. And that's not even mentioning the obvious things like voice.

Finally, there's genital dysphoria. For all of the hype genitals get, there are honestly a fair number of trans people who don't give a damn about their genitals, which is why we differentiate between genital and physical dysphoria. I think it's in part due to the social dysphoria aspect; for some trans people, their physical dysphoria also gets relieved when they physically resemble their identified gender enough that they don't encounter social issues related to gender. Notably, since most people don't see your genitals (unless you're a porn star or heading to court for indecent exposure), you might not necessarily experience dysphoria related to your genitals. Combined with the sheer risks and costs of surgery (it's a pretty major surgery to try to change out your genitals), some people just don't feel enough genital dysphoria to actually get things changed down south.

Myself, my dysphoria is mostly physical/genital. I have a very strong belief that men and women are equally capable in the things that matter to me in life, and I don't care for gender roles in general. I full well enjoy my current hobbies, and don't particularly want to be treated like a woman socially. However, I DO experience a lot of discomfort with my own body. Mentally, I just hate seeing a man when I look in the mirror, and something just feels...harmonious about mentally substituting a woman in instead.

Source. One of the comments.

And here's some cute ponies for your troubles:

http://dragonmaster137.deviantart.com/art/The-Dazzlings-Walk-Cycle-526684882?ga_submit_new=10%253A1428942818&ga_type=edit&ga_changes=1&ga_recent=1

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Look at all those Proper Nouns.

Very informative.

Basically... THANK YOU for writing this post. It really helps people like me. By the way, I am a MTF Pre-Op... who is experiencing a LOT of the bad parts of life you've explained in this post. I have NO problem talking about my journey... But I get pissed off when people think I'm doing it for the wrong reasons. Basically I'm just here to say I appreciate people like you that respect people... like everyone should, regardless of their preferences OR sexual orientation/choices. You are a good person who is doing the right thing.