Drawdex’s Review.

Hi.

Today we're getting into Mordane Stronghoof (Act one: Life and Again) by Mr Stargazer.

First, before I go into any important details I will ask. Have you ever read an OC Alicorn story? Yeah, that caught your attention hadn’t it? The OP’ness, the mary sue-ness, the sickening fast relationships that come in by impossible means.

If you said “Is this guy high?” Or anything in between, you will like or dislike this story, depending on how much you can go pass your first impression and see the diamonds on that last pickaxe shove. Just like reading this review. Hopefully.

Now I ask, have you ever heard the expression, “this is so much more than what it looks like,” or “don’t judge a book by its cover,”? Or course you have, you’re reading this, therefore, you have said to yourself, “this show of ponies is so much more that it seems.”

So this is the epiphany of that, but when it comes to Alicorn OC’s. It roams into the mind and existence of Mordane. This of course is his pony name, since it’s never really told his true one. Or if it’s told I haven’t read it and I’m a terrible reviewer.

LET’S BEGIN.

One can love the point of the main character not immediately being chained to the main 6 and has connection beyond known ponies, it helps give credibility to the Celestia mystery and is golly nice thing to see.

And that’s a thing on its own, the whole “is Celestia a tyrant” question aggravated with guesswork on both sides, Mordane believing it's true, and our preception of how it really is.

OR IS IT.

Spoiler, yeah it is.

Twilight being an Alicorn here works, and no, I have no idea how that’s pulled off. The world building is nice, some stuff would usually make me wince here and there but the way they are performed refutes that really well.

Not much is said of the main character’s connection towards humanity, if he still has any after all these years being a pony. I mean, seriously, it’s borderline misanthropy here, even if no true misanthropy is mention, you know you feel a little edgy when he gives up his customs, name, and ways of doing things for people he doesn’t know about. So for me, until he uses something other than the science based knowledge given by his previous life, Mordane will never really feel like a human to me, just a pretty smart pony, who lived a previous life.

But the thing I feel will separate most of the readers to those that can’t take it is several things, but the main one is that ‘Romance’, at least ‘the one’ in the beginning chapters.

Time to get classy.
Now I know what occurred here, it’s open to us a young couple which one survived to outlive the other, and by the pure amongst of sorrow from his lover’s death in the next chapters which shape and form his cerebral state and sympathy from the reader, that the love of his life died before his eyes and after years of understanding and affection to be lost in such a faction that it--

What? They meet each other recently? But surely for at least a couple of years, I mean it wasn’t that— what? Not even a month?! But--but she’s a major factor on how the main character directs his life, he past though the same depression and denial which of a young couple that has known each other since they can remember does, when one dies recently after declaring their love, how is that even possible?!

Well, as you should notice, I’m so in denial that this ever happened that I’m lying to myself over it. There could be mayor factors you could have taken in mind for this, saying “Maybe because he was stripped of all that he knew, his existence as human and birth as a pony couldn’t have been good for his mental state and having someone to talk to with them knowing you as who you are and what you are, is a major factor.”

My response would be:

“Well yeah that could be true, only if he hadn’t already past ten years as a pony, he would have not only be more communicating with her but he would be more likely to talk about who he really is.”

“I could pass whole months telling a person who I ‘really’ am and that without counting the fact that I have to listen to their life’s too, and add that I’m sure they didn’t have much time to talk about deep things that form love bonds with others listening.”

“You have to at least pass weeks talking to each other before you even begin to even feel the BEGINNINGS of love, not this undying endless love for one another.”

Answer finished.

As you can tell, this wasn’t my favorite part, I would say that it escalated quickly but it doesn’t even give it justice by the sheer among of things the main does in her name.

Moving on.

Mood

The story is all over the place. It goes dark, it drives comedy, it makes tragedy, it dwells into creepy, and it enthusiasms cuteness. It’s basically a pasture of so many things I can even conceive its branches. And don’t get me even started on the tale of those last chapters. Or the part two of this book series.

Yeah, I’m reading the second part. But this review isn’t about that.

Grammar

Written mistakes that aren’t bad but I’ll tell anyway, commas, some grammar issues, but it seems because the editor joined after some chapters were released. Or there’s not much of the editor’s touch on most of the chapters.

Style

The description is exceptional in some points in others it’s lacking, like the author was into writing one scene more than another, like if that ever happens in making a story. This could be considered a laying issue for some, or a well-paced out story for others. This is all around in the story in general, just passing through some things that would make anyone with half a brain stop and think before continuing, like passing candy in a kindergarten. The candy being a scene with no pacing and the kindergarden being filled with pacing nazis.

Yes, that's a thing.

Rating

Aside from ‘the romance’ the originality of this story is obvious. Well, as original as a HIE can go. Making a quite refreshing take of a Human transformed into Pony, by the idea of being born instead of ‘poof’, but from what I can see, it has a tweak on our human.

The point is, this story, like all others, has his tweaks, but it's still good and there's a reason I've already faved and liked it, and it's so close to becoming something that anyone could read over and over again, masterpiece like, and since the author is planning on making a editing of the whole story, specially its beginning, it may just reach that point of masterpiece-ication. And I know I took my sweeeeet time making this review because I was sure as nuts in trees I didn't want to come out as anything BUT rational in this whole review, on a series I follow so closely.

2976867 Best final verdict ever.