(Disclaimer: This is my first time attempting a commentary and a review. I'll certainly improve in the future, and hope nobody hates me after reading it. Especially the author. Remember, these are just my personal opinions, though I shouldn't have to tell you that. Enjoy!)

Hello one and all, 'tis the great and powerful... All of the Above!
I wouldn't give you great or powerful.
Shut it.
Anyways, today I will be reviewing The Cutie Mark Crusader's Cooking Show.
This was actually posted rather recently, from a new-ish author by the name of nss10. I don't get his username, but that's not that important.
And judging by the title, this can only end well.
Get on with it!
Fine, let's begin our little endeavor.

One sunny day in Ponyville three fillies had an idea, this idea was to make a web series on cooking. This had possibly been the worst idea they could ever come up with as none of the children had any experience! So they just did what they knew best, messed everything up.

I'm sorry, but I need a break.
No. Keep reading.
Fine.

"What will we make, and how will we make it,"

You know Apple Bloom, it would have been appropriate to know what you were gonna cook BEFORE the camera starts rolling. And it's also nice to have a cookbook.

The crusaders hauled the pot over to their "EasyPony" oven, and they then put the pot inside.

This actually brings up a problem I have with this story so far. The names. They're all actually pretty... Bad. He could have called this Easy Bake Oven without changing anything about the name, and it would be fine.

"Aww, she's so cute when she needs her stomach pumped."

...This scares me for some odd reason.

Soon the hospital appeared in the distance and the their pace quickened, but then the children realized that they forgot to stop recording. Sweetie Belle clicked the button to stop recording and in the process of doing so she dropped Scootaloo on the ground.

Why do they still have the camera with them?

Scootaloo, who was still aching on the ground picked up a "Monster" energy drink and drank it all in one chug.

She found Monster just lying on the ground while the other two were lugging her to the hospital? And why did she decide to drink that? For all we know, there could be something besides Monster in there.

"I don't know, maybe they're just huge shut-ins that never go out of their house," Sweetie Belle answered.

Or they're dead... That's a possibility.

That concludes chapter one. There are two more chapters, but they're both pretty short.
Now, my thoughts on the story... it needs a little work. BUT, he is a new author, so something like this is to be expected. He'll certainly improve as time goes on.

Now it's my turn. After reading the whole thing, I deducted that this person was either high when he wrote it, OR he's crazy. But after a quick visit to his bio, I found out he is on the weird side

Another thing is that the Cutie Mark Crusaders seem out of character. I'm not going to say how, you can find that out for yourself.

I'm really sorry for this but... I don't really like the story. I mean, it's not terrible, but it could have been worse.

To those who feel like reading something... strange, then read this fic. I know Lilith probably will.

(I apologize if I offend the author. The story has eleven likes and three dislikes, so you shouldn't feel offended if it gets a bad review. I actually want to see what stories he'll come up with later.)

HAH! I loled

I'm sorry I had not realized that random was a section

I like that you're honest and that shows that you're a good reviewer, these are all things that I plan on improving upon in the future. (Your honesty will help me become a better writer.)

Thank you for your time,
Nss10

Oh random is a section, well that's embarrassing

2605771
Ya, it is a little bit... but good thing is that you can always use the Edit tool