5482281
5482347

I'd be okay with everyone choosing for themselves what kind of impact it has on their universes.

I'm not sure if I have enough in Flipverse at the moment that I want to let something like this effect it, so my plan for now is that Spike wouldn't remember the adventure (and Twilight and Rarity would be unaware of it since Discord manages to return Spike to almost the exact moment he left).

5482249
5482271 Well, I obviously can't speak for the others, but this is canon for my Hasbroverse. I wish it was canon for some of the others, too, like the Lunaverse. :(

5482576

Well I can't really comment from the point of view of the whole L-verse that would be RDD's call but I would put it at about 3 on the list I produced. It happened but it won't come up very often and has no real effect on the universe as a whole, a little like Crisis on Two Equestria's has.

5482438 Aww. I kinda wanted to give Spike a smart phone for Twilight. ;)

5482725

How long do you think it would remain intact before she takes it apart to try and figure out how it works?

5482752 I don't believe Twilight the dragon's quite as intellectually curious as pony-Twilight. Also, it's built with reverse-engineered Cybertronian tech. She wouldn't be able to scratch the screen if she tried. :D

5482754
5482752

We got any word about the next chapter?

5663916 No. I'll PM Trinary about it.

Hello, sorry to be so bad about getting around to sharing thoughts and the like.

The idea of Cloudsdale as a mobile fortress/pirate ship is pretty inventive. And having Cloud be an element bearer for Loyalty also works, and it something I intended to do in a later story. So feel free to use that.

If you want insights into the Cloud-Dash relationship in Dashverse, here goes: Cloud Kicker was one of Rainbow's friends at flight camp (as was Derpy and Fluttershy) but RD being tapped to become Celestia's student made it hard for them all to stay close. Cloud was probably the luckiest in that regard as she lived in Canterlot, training to become a guardspony, while Rainbow was there studying under Celestia. Between Trixie's machinations (see: May the Best Friends Win) and Rainbow's own increasing obsession with redoing the Sonic Rainboom, she let her ties with her friends significantly (though not totally) lapse, forgetting to write or visit often, etc. When CK dropped out of the guard, she moved to Ponyville since Derpy and Fluttershy had already set themselves up there.

Dashverse Rainbow still harbors some guilt and regrets for not remaining closer to her friends during the time before Rainbooms and Royalty took place. Plus there are some additional awkwardness since while Cloud and Derpy are some of RD's oldest friends, they're not part of the Elements of Harmony/Mane Six grouping.

While I borrow a lot of Cloud Kicker's characterization and backstory from the "Life and Time of a Winning Pony" it's not totally the same character (especially since there's a whole backstory involving pegasi clans that I chose not to incorporate into the history of Dashverse).

As for other characters Rainbow Dash would know from Cloudsdale: the three idiot bullies (Hoops, Dumbbell and Score) still exist and appeared in "Rainbow Triumphant," as did Lightning Dust and Gilda. It's possible that she might have come across the latter two at flight camp, but I haven't written anything on that, one way or the other.

Anything else you have questions about or would like to know?

5482752
5663916
5673173 Thanks for that, trinary! :)

Okay... the earliest I could get to writing this would be in January. Retail in December suuuuuucks. Talon, what about you?

5673318

Probably about the same maybe a little later. I'm doing a Hearthwarming theme's story of Mountain (actually set in Cloudsdale by coincidence) at the moment and I might try to get a few more chapters of that completed as well before shifting to this.

5674308 All right, then. January it is.

5674877

So how are we going to do this, we've both expressed some interest in writing the story and have similar ideas so who writes it or do we try a collaborative piece. I don't have any problem with that but I don't know how you organise something like that.

5675097 We could alternate parts to the chapter. I write a part, you write the next.

5675106

That's more or less what I thought, ok, we'll put things on hold for a month or so than try to come up with an outline together and start writing.

5675111 Excellent.

Okay, Talon and I have started!

Part one, written by Talon and Thorn, is here.

I've started part two here.

5663916

5673173

5675111 *Dusts off thread*

Hi. Really sorry about this. But... part two's draft is done.

I suck. I'm slow and stupid. :(

6301062

Ok, chapter 3 is ready for review from page 21 onwards

6412498
Thanks. I'll start in on it Monday.

6412498

5663916

5673173
I'm done. Anyone else wanna take a look at it? I'll also get started on the final chapter. And it'll come out a lot quicker this time!

6417918
Thanks for the very detailed edit, although I'm more interested in what you thought of the characterisation, plot and flow, things like that

6418119
Oh, sorry. I thought you did a great job with those bits, too. You did a great job setting up for the final chapter and climax.

6418213

Thank you, I did plan to have Cloud and Dash meet up with Ditzy at some point but I couldn't get the time line to fit so there's the problem that Dash doesn't know the revolution is due. Also Lightning Dust sort of faded into the background after her assassination attempt so I'm sort of hoping she'll reappear at some point during the revolution probably trying to get Clouds crew to join Wind Rider or maybe attacking Cloud or Dash directly.

My current idea for the rebellion would be something akin to the last quarter hour or so of Equilibrium.

6418678
Lightning will. She'll be fighting Dashie. ;) Full confession. I don't know what Equilibrium is, sorry. I... think I've vaguely heard of something called that. :(

6418719

It's this, I would highly recommend the film, it has some amazing action scenes and some actual interesting philosophy behind it.

I could see Alula is being very much like Preston's son and daughter who are much better at hiding in the open than he is and the last scenes with the corridor gun fight followed by the (very) short sword fights would be an interesting final assault on Wind Rider (although the Pony equivalent would be much less bloody).

5482438

5673173

5675097
So first off, sorry about this. The fault is pretty much mine. I had some... mental problems for a bit. It wasn't good. But... chapter seven is done.

Parts one and three, by Talon and Thorn.

Part two, by me.

Part three, by me.

Ah... if you could please take a look? Especially you, trinary. It is your universe after all.

6726876

Overall I like'd it although it does go in a few different ways to what I originally envisioned.

I guess the biggest thing was probably Hoops and co, I think we more or less built them up as not being all that keen on Lightning Dust leadership and much more loyal to Cloud Kicker so that they probably would at least passively resist when the former tries to arrest the latter if not actively try to stop her. I'd see something like a larger group being set to arrest Cloud so her loyal followers could change sides to help her. Also maybe have the crew and her ship turn up to help, maybe after Wind Rider was beaten. I'd think the ship he was heading for would have some crew the SS Banging could certainly help with them.

Probably less important but more of a major plot point would be that I originally saw Cloud's Mum as staying loyal to Wind up to the point of trying to stop her daughter and only at that point turning on Wind Rider.

Also I think the slave situation needs something more done with it, while Wind Rider probably has the majority of the military the rebels could have the slaves as their aces in the hole if they can free them.

None of them are major problems but it's some suggestions for the structure.

6727958
Okay, I added some stuff, accepted most of the suggestions. I think I'm gonna keep the main fights as-is. I did make the ship Spitfire was on the Banging. If nothing else, I'll start posting tomorrow.

6728541

Ok, maybe still wait on Trinary.

I might try to go over my chapters a bit tomorrow. Your reminder about the lack of night in this universe makes we want to check that at least I didn't get that wrong.

6728554
I PMed him, and he's gonna look them over. So I'll wait until he's done. He said it might take a bit, considering how long our parts are. Understandable, of course.

6729504

Fine, I'm going over my chapters again but it'll probably take the weekend.

6729504

I've checked over my bits, fixed a few errors, removed a few references to night, added a Cozy Glow cameo...

6732192

6732192
Cool, thanks. :)