4201640
Which will lose the aggressive/non-aggressive implication of the new pronouns, we need to make it easier for people to communicate that they are trying to stir up a honest pointless unnecessarily aggressive discussion instead of being just clueless.

4201644
Use "Tumblr" as a pronoun.

4200423
Space-around-en-dash authors represent!
*birds chirping*

4201785

4201571
It so happens that I am the offending party. 4154874 (ME) The exact line in question is: "Technical execution is passable, caveat of double-space after periods."
Technical execution. Caveat of.
From Webster:

caveat \ˈka-vē-ˌät, -ˌat; ˈkä-vē-ˌät; ˈkā-vē-ˌat\ (noun) : an explanation or warning that should be remembered when you are doing or thinking about something.

That you interpreted it as "this is inherently incorrect" is your own business.

Most vexing is that this whole conversation went on for a page, and none could be bothered to trace it back.

4201640
or zi/zir; zi/hir; thon; yo; &c. ...

4201640
I actually use "themself".

4201957
First off, I appreciate both the initial review and the link back. Thanks!

As for my description, it wasn't meant to be accusatory. I reported what I read as best I could recall. However, I don't see any difference between how I interpreted what you wrote, versus what you're saying now. In the context in which you use it, if "caveat" doesn't mean "except", it doesn't make any sense. You're clearly contrasting the part after the comma with the part before the comma, which implies that double-space after sentences is "not passable".

I'm sorry I didn't do the trackback. I had forgotten about TD's spreadsheet, so the trackback would have been nontrivial (probably the easiest way would be to go page by page searching for "passable" but that might not work if I misremembered the word form; I only retained a vague impression). Ultimately, we didn't go looking because trackback wasn't important to the conversation: enough ponies had already weighed in on both sides.

4202032

However, I don't see any difference between how I interpreted what you wrote, versus what you're saying now. In the context in which you use it, if "caveat" doesn't mean "except", it doesn't make any sense. You're clearly contrasting the part after the comma with the part before the comma, which implies that double-space after sentences is "not passable".

You are correct in that the use of caveat in that construction is by no means an endorsement, but it is a clarified "except" and, while juxtaposed, is not a condemnation. One could as well replace the word 'caveat' in that instance with 'except,' but the word was carefully selected because of its connotations as a more neutral caution: "be mindful/aware of," for instance... qualifying itself without the intention of meaning "this is absolutely wrong."

Although Roger has since stipulated that double-spacing after a period is not a serious affront to the rules (indeed, there have been a number of other, more egregious formatting errors, some of which I have commented upon even in this event), it was wholly valid at the time to draw significant attention to the matter. It is by grace (among other, more practical matters) that the guidelines are not enforced. Moreover, were this a more rigorous event (read: professional) or likened to writing for a publisher as with a periodical magazine, it is likely-to-inevitable that any failure to conform to the exact formatting guidelines would be grounds for immediate disqualification or rejection... even that aside, as noted earlier, anonymity is more strongly preserved by being format-consistent between authors; it is best to follow the rules.

4202877
I like they. It's been used that way for centuries.

Theirself vs. themself is an interesting quibble. I never really thought of theirself, as themself just "sounds" right to me. But either will do.

Also, I loved The Smeasles! I'm not sure why some stories make the cut and others do not.

Thread is dead, but just in case, The Laughter I Choose to Be has been revampulated and is now on Fimfiction.

Yeah, i also posted a thing from an old writeoff, since we're using threads to just promote whatever now. :B

4201785

Okay this is driving me crazy. What the hay is em-dash?

4211257

This would explain my confusion since I have never really seen the larger, and indeed, it appears to have no space on the keyboard. So, in other words, burn it!

4211421

A loathsome, horrid, and evil piece of punctuation! BURN IT!

Well, after throwing out most of the original prose, adding conflict, and giving Silver Shill a semblance of a spine, "I Shall Please" is up on Fimfiction. Of course, you may have already seen the notification.

4211257
4211336

hyphen: - used for compound words like uh-oh
endash: – used for spans like 3:00–3:55
emdash: — used for breaks when commas would be confusing—like, this—if you follow

Emdashes are also used for missing words. Three emdashes in a row ——— is a missing word, whereas two emdashes (l—— t——) is part of a word.

I remember them by assuming an endash is a dash the length of an old-school "n" in typography, while an emdash is the length of an "m". I prefer to not know the truth because the mnemonic helps.

4209980
The story I mentioned was one from this writeoff, and I posted the message just as the thread was dying. It wasn't an arbitrary self-promotion. (Not that you're accusing me of that; I'm just sayin'.)

4212218
I loved the original to be honest. I'll check out the new one soon.

4176314

Okay, here's a stab at Adren's (un)Rest in Peace.

>The floating city cast its long shadow over the once-vibrant land; where green fields had prospered for centuries, there was now only ever-shifting goop.

I like the imagery here. The floating city and a long shadow are both great, stark, interesting ways to start your story. What doesn't work as well is the word "goop."

Yes, goop is accurate. I mean, it's what the smooze is, really. But it's also a pretty silly word, goop. It's not something that strikes you with fear, or brings to mind post-apocalyptic scenes.

>Scattered, dead treetops still poked out of the abominable muck as if frozen in a silent scream, reaching out their splintered arms for sunlight they could never photosynthesize while clawing in vain at the now-solid ground trapping their roots.

There's some evocative language in here, but it gets a bit carried away. Metaphors and similes gone wild -- I bolded the three of them fighting for space in this once sentence alone. Also, points for trying to use 'photosynthesize' as a verb, but I don't think it really works here. It's taking a word from a botany textbook and sticking it into a fantasy story, and it doesn't flow very well.

The next few paragraphs are fine. Skipping ahead:

>“Shhh.” Two yellow forelegs snaked around Twilight’s shoulders and gripped her—firm, but not tight.

'Snaked' is an unusual choice here. I like that you're trying to get away from the usual with your word choice, but there's a reason arms usually 'wrap' around someone, not 'snake' around them.

>Twilight pawed at the rough surface beneath her hooves, next to the clouds surrounding it. “I’m still amazed that Crystaldale can actually fly! Whoever designed it must have known something like this would happen. Which probably means that it came sometime in the distant past… but it was beaten then, so why…”

All this time, I was thinking she was on Cloudsdale. By putting them on Crystaldale, you're introducing a new and complex item that's having to compete for space in a very short story. You don't have any time to explain the what or why or how of Crystaldale's flight, you're just giving it to us in a single "Hey we're on a crystal city that can fly! Moving on..." bit of dialogue. I think the story would have been simpler and easier to grasp if they'd been on a pre-existing flying city.

>“I could have… something, anything—”

By this point, Twilight's angst is starting to sound a bit grating. She's whining. Having a protagonist who's whining about how helpless they are isn't a good spot to be in as a writer. We stop sympathizing with the hero and start wanting to shake them.

>“Perhaps I can’t do anything yet,” she said, pulling away from Fluttershy. “But I promise you, our friends, and all that remains of our once-glorious world, that Cadence and I will find an antidote to this malefic poison choking our beautiful world. Love will be our best medicine. We will free everypony below. They’re still alive… I can feel it.”

Who's Twilight talking to, here? This sounds like an inspirational speech for the underdog army before the final confrontation, ala Independence Day, but Fluttershy is the only other character around. Is she just trying to motivate Fluttershy? I thought Fluttershy was already motivated -- she's the one who just snapped Twilight out of her funk.

>She steeled her eyes. “We will defeat the Smooze, once and for all.”

How does one 'steel' one's eyes? I know it's a common phrase, but it's kind of a crutch.

Anyway, these are all relatively minor points, and plenty of stories in the finals had mechanical or style problems that were much worse. I think what kept (un)Rest in Peace out of the finals was that it's not a complete story -- it's a prologue. Ironically, if you had left out the last sentence, it would have been more of a complete story, because then the central conflict would have been Twilight's despair and Fluttershy's role in helping her. But by adding that last line you made it clear that this is just the start of a longer story. That undercuts the growth that Twilight just went through, making it seem like a minor side-show for the real conflict.

The writing was fairly spot on. A few too many metaphors and some odd word-choice, but I've certainly been guilty of worse in my time.

4216928

I am happy with just the simple hyphen - because it's the BEST. And also because I don't even know how to make the other ones. And am too lazy to find out.

4217507
I used to Google "emdash" every five minutes to grab one from the first result. Now I keep a Notepad++ window open with emdash, endash, not-equal sign, etc., all the time.

4217507
4217567
I double hyphen (also known as "the poor man's em dash") when I'm writing, then when I'm making an editing pass I do a find/replace with an em dash copied from google. (since I don't do an editing pass on comments or blogs, those I just leave as a double hyphen.)

4217660
I'm not sure if it's true for other programs, but I believe "^=" in Microsoft Word's find/replace dialogue will create an emdash.

— ALT+0151
– ALT+0150
- Hyphen

Personally, I use triple and double hyphens for em and en dashes respectively, and find+replace later.

4217507
4217567
4217660
4219129
I refer you to 4219689
Once you've used either of them a few times, it really becomes second-nature and effortless—like, I didn't even think about that one – I just did it.

4220809
The necessity of including the 0 boggles me, but yay at finally learning the alt codes for them!

4219129
4219689
4220809
You can set them that way in most programs, too. Since I've started using Google Docs, I've removed most of their find/replaces (to get rid of "smart" quotes and ellipses when regular quotes and three periods will do more compatibly) and added things like --- becomes —.

4217507
4220812

4220809
In my twenty five years of using a computer, I have never once gotten an alt code to work.

4220810
The base 256 ASCII characters also have 0-less alt codes, but finding them requires something more than character map. :B

4220821
Ah, that's what I was thinking of. I suppose I could use horizontal pipe for emdash, but that would be even more confusing:

─—─—─—─—─—─—─—

4220816
Yes. Applejack is the only pony who would be smug about saying something of that like.

If you have a Windows machine, just hold down the Alt key and hit numbers. It is magic.

4220843
She is!

And I've tried that! I don't know why it never works for me, but it's easy enough to work around.

4220847
Ah, I see. The following things must be true (I suspect the problem is issue 2):

0) You are using an 8086 machine (i.e. Windows PC).
1) You should have NumLock on (to avoid Alt conflicts).
2) You must use the numeric pad. The numbers above the letters do not cut it.

4220912
Probably historically a combination of 1 and 2, currently compounded by:
2.5) My laptop does not have a numeric pad.

4169200
Alright, I finally stopped being ashamed of how I handled this idea to start looking at reviews, and I think it's kind of hilarious that you found this hilarious. As some of the other reviewers surmised, I mangled this idea to make it fit in the word limit, and I was also in a hurry (I'm not used to doing writeoffs or working this fast!). So at least the story didn't piss you off!

I finally got around to slightly expanding and publishing one of my entries from this round!

The Perfect Cure for the Common Cold

Winter has come early this year, and after a long night out rounding up her animals in the face of Rainbow Dash's "awesome" snowstorm, Fluttershy is oh so cold.

But the worst of it is that Rarity knows exactly which pony Fluttershy wishes would come along to warm her up.

That only took... seven months or so.

Thanks to everyone who commented on it.

4153188
> 67. Prometheus: […] The story isn’t complete yet, but I look forward to seeing it when it is.
I hope you enjoy the full version. I’ll certainly look forward to your commenting of it! Take care.