In the spirit of JSZ's amazingly creative way of opening every single chapter in his story, I bring you the stats thread.

Main Character
First Name: Don
Last Name: Not Known
Middle Name: Not Known
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Mood: Indecisive
Hair Color: Short Rainbow of Colors
Eye Color: Light Blue
Height: 5.8 feet
Weight: 197 pounds
Personality: Loneliness has filled him with Sorrow, Despair, and Shyness. His Overwhelming amount of Magical Prowess makes it very difficult to make friends as most people are too afraid to get near him. His inability to Smile may be the Object of his new found friendship.

I WILL GO FIRST

Main Character
First Name: Jesus
Last Name: Christ
Middle Name: H
Age: 2,000ish
Gender: ???
Mood: Godlike
Hair Color: Long Brown Godlike Hair
Eye Color: Windows To Jesus's Loltastic Soul
Height: Tall Enough to perform Miracles
Weight: Not much due to fasting
Personality: Jesus is very Outgoing. He likes to Smile while performing Miracles to bring Back the dead and turn water into Win. Due to being a martyr complexity he is also About to get himself Executed by the Romans but it is ok because he will just get up 3 days later like an Epic Zombie.

Sub Character
First Name: Peppy
Last Name: Greyskull
Middle Name: N/A
Age: 10 in pony years
Gender: Female with a bonus
Mood: Hardened
Hair Color: Blonde
Eye Color: Blue, like a Nazis
Height: 4.3 Hooves(feet)
Weight: 96 lbs
Personality: Cruel and hateful. She loves to joke about Death while writing and making fun of People and smiling. Shes a closet Narcissist and loves to go out of her way to criticize others.

1092481 amidoinitrite? I wish I had Sonics skill

Main Character

First Name: Diarch

Last Name: Imperia

Middle Name: "Nocturne"

Age: MMMI

Gender: Male

Mood: Fluffy

Hair Colour: Dark gray

Eye Colour: Scarlet

Height: 12 Feet

Weight: 289 pounds

Personality:
Diarch is a very active person, He has led armies in desperate struggle for countless millennia for the very survival of the human race, Burdened by genocide and the deaths of millions he is willing to sacrifice anything and anyone in order to achieve victory, He is also a High fiving enthusiast and enjoys a good arm wrestle and song, When he was MMXIII years old Diarch started a prank war with the Primarch of another one of humanities legions, The two legions to this day play annual prank wars on each other,