Hello, OEE! I'm about a third of the way through writing a massive crossover in the vein of MLP Loops and Song of the Spheres, though while those are like Vine/TikTok and Game of Thrones respectively, I'm aiming more for The Good Place in terms of atmosphere and pacing. I've got the first 4 episodes written (out of a planned 12 for the first season) and I'm kinda desperate for feedback here, from pacing to execution to the general premise.

The Pillars of Equestria have returned, Sunset Shimmer prevailed against the Memory Stone, and Twilight is hoping for some time to relax. That lasts all of five minutes until two visitors appear on her doorstep: they're from another world and have found themselves stranded in Equestria. Getting them home will take Twilight farther into the multiverse than she's ever imagined, from wars spanning across time to endless mountains to a strange world at the heart of it all. But one thing never changes: here and in Equestria, friendship is the magic that unites us all.

Looking for feedback of any level. Story is on Google Docs and FiMfic (pw: everyponyandthedoctor). Thanks, y'all!