What is a stallion to do when everything he knows loves and ever knew is destroyed in a matter of minutes? When all that was ever familiar is replaced with a terrifying unknown world of death and destruction? Adapt fast, survive and seek revenge.
You do not waste any time getting right to the destruction of the hometown, huh? That suits me just fine, given how long some stories spend building up characters and a setting that will never be seen again. I did like what background you gave for this character's life; the exposition on the town is long enough to make me care about its destruction, but short enough as not to overstay its welcome.
One obvious quality that holds back the story is spelling errors. They break immersion and leave a bad impression on readers. It might be worth going back and doing revisions to fix those mistakes.
And perhaps, you might consider adding a short description of the protagonist's appearance within this opening chapter... point out gender, race, mane color, and coat color. Just four adjectives to help visualize this character better.
You do not waste any time getting right to the destruction of the hometown, huh? That suits me just fine, given how long some stories spend building up characters and a setting that will never be seen again. I did like what background you gave for this character's life; the exposition on the town is long enough to make me care about its destruction, but short enough as not to overstay its welcome.
One obvious quality that holds back the story is spelling errors. They break immersion and leave a bad impression on readers. It might be worth going back and doing revisions to fix those mistakes.
And perhaps, you might consider adding a short description of the protagonist's appearance within this opening chapter... point out gender, race, mane color, and coat color. Just four adjectives to help visualize this character better.