What do you get when you cross a down-on-his-luck earth pony, an ex-Enclave pegasus mare and a naive unicorn from Stable 6? One of the strongest friendships forged in postwar Equestria. (Spin-off of "Fallout: Equestria" by Kkat)
I havn't read the actual story yet, and since it appears you're revising it, I'll wait to do that deed.
The description is very nice, it got me hooked and it made me want to read the story.
Just a side note, 4511890 says very little on any fic. Pay close attention to him, hes actually a nice gauge to use. Just wait for the more in-depth reviewers to role around. Like Tetragramation or G-man64.
Also, building off of what 4512484 said, the chapters do need to be longer. Although he said 1,000, I would shoot for 1,500.
Another mistake you made. You released 6 chapters in the span of 2 days. That's a no-no, and take that from someone who's made the same mistake. If you've premade chapters, release them slowly. Readers will get used to whatever you put out, and if you quickfire a bunch of chapters, were going to expect to keep doing that. So when you have to stop and write a chapter, people are going to start asking questions.
No I'm mainly here to tell ideas I can't do on my own for one reason or another, put stories into the three core FoE groups, maybe give my two cents on an idea, fight off a troll, and occasionally pre-read.
I do a lot but don't review.
Although one thing I can say is if you have six six hundred word chapters, is there any reason they can't all just be one? People usually prefer fewer long chapters over more short ones.
And to the author, if nobody else has yet I'll gladly welcome you to our community, and wish you luck.
So far this is a good story with an interesting premise. I'm interested to see where it will go from here. I also agree with what the other commenters said; the chapters need to be longer and more detailed.
Just got done reading the six chapters you put out and though short, I liked reading them. I don't know if you have revised the chapters yet but if you haven't I look forward to reading them. Also, you should put revised next to the chapter titles that you revised so people know to reread those chapters. Keep up the good work and have fun with it!
4515976 4517516 4520636 Thank you all for the advice. Normally by now I would have become frustrated with myself with all the criticism, but you're all providing extremely helpful advice. I'm actually quite glad you're all posting such lengthy and detailed comments. With your help, I can make this story better than I ever dreamed I could.
4521300 Well... To be honest, I figured they were just camped there and happened to be around when they heard the Stable opening. I completely forgot to mention that in the chapter. Now I must go back and edit again!
I havn't read the actual story yet, and since it appears you're revising it, I'll wait to do that deed.
The description is very nice, it got me hooked and it made me want to read the story.
Just a side note, 4511890 says very little on any fic. Pay close attention to him, hes actually a nice gauge to use. Just wait for the more in-depth reviewers to role around. Like Tetragramation or G-man64.
Also, building off of what 4512484 said, the chapters do need to be longer. Although he said 1,000, I would shoot for 1,500.
Another mistake you made. You released 6 chapters in the span of 2 days. That's a no-no, and take that from someone who's made the same mistake. If you've premade chapters, release them slowly. Readers will get used to whatever you put out, and if you quickfire a bunch of chapters, were going to expect to keep doing that. So when you have to stop and write a chapter, people are going to start asking questions.
All in all, I'm looking forward to reading this.
4515976
I don't review, I'm to nice to review, I look for the good and am not good at pointing out flaws, I tried to review once and failed.
No I'm mainly here to tell ideas I can't do on my own for one reason or another, put stories into the three core FoE groups, maybe give my two cents on an idea, fight off a troll, and occasionally pre-read.
I do a lot but don't review.
Although one thing I can say is if you have six six hundred word chapters, is there any reason they can't all just be one? People usually prefer fewer long chapters over more short ones.
And to the author, if nobody else has yet I'll gladly welcome you to our community, and wish you luck.
Just so you know, your story was added to the Fallout Equestria Group by G-man64! Feel free to PM me if you have any questions
So far this is a good story with an interesting premise. I'm interested to see where it will go from here. I also agree with what the other commenters said; the chapters need to be longer and more detailed.
Just got done reading the six chapters you put out and though short, I liked reading them. I don't know if you have revised the chapters yet but if you haven't I look forward to reading them. Also, you should put revised next to the chapter titles that you revised so people know to reread those chapters. Keep up the good work and have fun with it!
4517318 Sort of. I watched Nuka Break, but it only occurred to me after I had written Fizzy's addiction that I had unintentionally referenced it.
4515976
4517516
4520636
Thank you all for the advice. Normally by now I would have become frustrated with myself with all the criticism, but you're all providing extremely helpful advice. I'm actually quite glad you're all posting such lengthy and detailed comments. With your help, I can make this story better than I ever dreamed I could.
4521300 Well...
To be honest, I figured they were just camped there and happened to be around when they heard the Stable opening. I completely forgot to mention that in the chapter.
Now I must go back and edit again!
4522065 Brilliant! I shall do that.