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xTSGx


I should probably put something here, shouldn't I?

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Nov
22nd
2012

Ascend Deleted Scenes #4 · 9:17am Nov 22nd, 2012


It's time for more delete scenes. One was truly deleted while the other was a simple rewrite. Onwards:



“Pinkie!”

Pinkie's ear continued to twitch.

“Oh, right. So I was baking something when I suddenly realized: you've never baked anything.”

“Wh-What?”

“Whenever we've had a get-together or a meal, you've never brought a baked good.”

“I usually don't needed to. Either you or Applejack do.”

“Exactly.”

“Exactly?”

“Yeah, exactly. What would happen if Applejack's sick and I've gone to my Family Reunion-but-we-stopped-calling-it-that-after-that-one-fight-happened-that-caused-Great-Aunt-Kuchen-to-get-a-hip-replacement?”

“We...wouldn't have a get-together?”

“But what if you did?”

“Then I'd go to the Cakes and buy some cupcakes like the last time I got dessert.”

“But that caused you to go coo coo for Cocoa Puffs.”

“No it didn't. Me freaking out over a letter to the Princess did.”

“But the cupcakes exasperated it.”

Twilight facehoofed.

'This is hopeless.'

“Fine. You win. I need to learn how to bake.”




This scene was simply rewritten. The reason was after I started writing it, I realized that Twilight had brought a baked good (those cupcakes) and my attempts to hand wave it were awkward and cringe inducing—forcing a rewrite. Then again, I find the whole chapter cringe inducing so...



Next:

Chapter Eight: Celebration.

“ATTENTION CITIZENS OF CANTERLOT.”

The majestic capital of Equestria was nothing more then a ghost town.

“BY ORDER OF THEIR MAJESTIES, PARLIAMENT, AND THE NATIONAL DEFENSE COUNCIL—”

Numerous buildings around the city were destroyed—reduced to nothing but rubble. Smoke billowed from countless fires.

“A MANDITORY EVACUATION HAS BEEN ISSUED.”

What was once the Capitol Building was now a charred crater.

“ALL PERSONNEL ARE TO PROCEED OUT OF THE CITY IN AN ORDERLY FASHION VIA THE DESIGNATED EVACUATION ROUTES.”

The remains of Canterlot Castle lay at the bottom of the mountain, the castle having been ripped from the city's foundation.

“THIS MESSAGE WILL NOW REPEAT.”

AA guns desperately shot flak at the purple Nightmare that had destroyed what neither Discord nor the changelings could.

“ATTENTION CITIZENS OF CANTERLOT...”

Amidst the flak, two alicorns confronted the Nightmare.

THEY'RE ALL DEAD

“Please, Twilight. You must accept that they're gone.”



Can you tell I wrote this after Twilight's dark magic demonstration? The reason it was cut was I found it too grimdark and Not My Destiny-y for Ascend and opted to go with the more Glim-y route instead. I really like this scene though, so don't expect it to stay deleted as I might use it in the slightly-more-serious sequel.

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Comments ( 10 )

Hm I certainly think this should be the scene for her next nightmare, but with something added to it. :applejackunsure:

That Nightmare Twilight scene could work in a 'slightly-more-serious sequel'... but I'm glad it was cut from this one, lol. You say the whole chapter makes you cringe, but I enjoyed it a lot. That Nightmare Twilight scene made me cringe. Different folks, I guess.

Nightmare Twilight would use a time spell to go back to when her friends were alive, find a way to ascend them all, and bring them into the future thus shattering the timeline.

527300
Yes, that sounds much more like Twilight than just destroying everything in a pointless rage does. Time travel fixes everything.:twilightsmile:

And if she really wanted to destroy everything she would just reverse the gravity of the situation....

Aw man, I wish you had kept that "coo coo for Cocoa Puffs" line. But oh well.

527333
now THAT is cringe-inducing.
I love it

I thought the chapter was good.

You should make the Evil Alicorn Twilight a side story
I would read it:pinkiehappy:

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