There is something to be said about the quality of a story when you get invested in it to the point where you actively dislike the antagonist, and continue to root for them to get what’s inevitably coming to them as a result of their actions.

Not so much when you wish the same happens to the protagonist.

I picked up ‘More About Time’ because the synopsis looked intriguing. Twilight discovers an unfinished spell by Star Swirl, the Bearded, and decides to try it out, only for it to have unexpected side-effects.

Will this story live up to its potential and deliver and engaging and satisfying adventure? Well, this is the third of these kinda blogs I’ve made, so make an educated guess.

Also—just to keep things clear—in no way do I mean any disrespect towards SilverStar7. While the story isn’t perfect, it was written well enough for me to keep going. I hope he keeps improving and continues to write in the future. I understand how hard it is it bring a story to completion and I respect his effort, I only complain because I care.

With that out of the way, and in the spirit of this story, let’s dive into why my life would be so much better if I hadn’t read 'More About Time’.

As I mentioned, the story deals with Twilight finding a series of scrolls in the old Castle of the Two Sisters in the Everfree containing a series of incomplete spells crafted by Star Swirl the Bearded, one of which seems to be complete. The spell in question allows the user to go back to a previous point of their lifetime and change things while they sleep. After some initial testing, Twilight realises that she can use this spell to right certain wrongs throughout her life, and sets out to do so. But every time, she creates a diverging timeline, and has to figure out what consequences her actions have brought.

So, now that we have a clear idea of what the story is going to be about, what can be said about its execution?

Well, the time travel logic is solid, and that’s to be commended. The story itself is properly paced, the reveals are slow and reel you in, the alternate timelines are interesting, and you’re invested in how the rest of the girls are different now as well as wondering what are the full effects those alterations had in Equestria.

Oh, and Twilight’s characterisation is probably one of the worst I’ve ever seen in my years on FiMFiction outside of cringe-inducing self-insert fics.

You probably think I’m exaggerating, and that I’m just like the people who scream “Worst thing ever” about everything, but I’m really not. Sure, there will always be those stories where Twilight makes really questionable decisions, or acts out of character, and those peaks probably beat any particular action Twilight makes in this story.

What stands out about ’More About Time’ is how consistent this problem is.

Rainbow Dash, eat your heart out, because this Twilight manages to keep bouncing the idiot ball on her head for a whole seventy-seven thousand words. While some bad decisions can be chalked up to shock, disorientation, or even nervousness early on, as the story progresses it becomes harder to justify her actions (or lack thereof, but more on that later).

I have to mention this right off the bat before getting deeper into the analysis because this permeates just about every aspect of the narrative. I mean, this is a Twilight-centric story where she has to deal with time traveling and branching timelines, we’re going to be following her for the entire duration of the story, and making sure she stays in-character is essential.

Anyway… Let’s stop beating around the bush and get to the meat of the review. What does Twilight do that I find so objectionable? Why don’t we start at the beginning.

During the prelude, Twilight finds the aforementioned spell hidden in the old Castle in the Everfree and proceeds to cast it immediately. “Somepony eventually has to look at these spells”, it may as well be her!

Did you know that this story started almost exactly a year after ‘Magical Mystery Cure’? We were only halfway through season 4 at the time, so you know the memories of that Gordian Knot of insanity were still fresh, so one has to wonder what made Twilight forget about what happened the last time she cast an unfinished spell by Star Swirl the Bearded and the effect it had on her friends.

I only thought about what risk I was taking for myself. How could I have been so stupid to forget that my magic can affect my friends too?

Yes, how indeed.

But fret not, because she quickly makes her way back to Ponyville and makes sure her friends are alright. After a quick heart to heart and a joyful group-hug, she comes back home, goes to sleep, and we’re treated to this little nugget of wisdom at the end:

She adored her friends, but while, logically, she should have been willing to smile at the thought of not losing them, the fear of almost losing them kept her frowning as she fell asleep.

You may want to hold on to that thought as we go deeper.

Anyway, chapter 1 starts with a rather dry recap of the prelude, and we find Twilight in the dreamscape, where she’s recalling the night Spike burned her astronomy book, way back in the latter episodes of season one.

Once the Twilight from the current timeline (from now on referred as Prime!Twilight when applicable) inhabits the body of the Twilight from the dream, she realises what’s happening and prevents Spike from burning her copy of "Astronomical Astronomer's Almanac to All Things Astronomy".

Then, Prime!Twilight realises this isn’t just a dream, but she’s actually in the past. As she tries not to lose her mind, she reflects on how saving her book was actually positive. After all, the loss of this book meant she couldn’t use it as a reference when she was trying to write those astronomical papers for Astro-pony Quarterly. She laments that she never got around doing that, and now that she’s a Princess, she probably never will have the time for that.

You can probably see where this is going. When she wakes up, she finds out she managed to finish those papers and submitted them in time, which in turn means she’s now a published astronomer! All is smiles!

Oh, and Owlowiscious no longer exists.

Sure, he’s probably flying around somewhere in Fluttershy’s cottage, but he’s no longer Twilight’s pet/second most faithful assistant. Since the only reason Twilight was working so late the night she met Owlowiscious was so she could finish that paper in time, but now that she had her reference book, she didn’t have to pull an all-nighter, so she didn’t meet him.

After looking through the scrolls, Twilight found herself frustrated. She now understood just how incomplete this spell really was.

Seems like the kind of thing one would try to analyse before casting a spell, even more so considering this is the second time such an event has happened.

Right now, let’s stop for a moment and think about the implications of what we’ve seen so far.

A change as small as preventing the burning of a book caused not only the alteration of Twilight’s professional path, but also the disappearance of her animal companion. Who knows what could have been different had Twilight stayed in the past for more than just a few minutes.

Remember, this is a Twilight that has gone through both the events of ‘Magical Mystery Cure’ and ‘It’s About Time’, so she’s well aware of the dangers of messing with time travel and incomplete spells.

So, knowing that this spell has given her something she always wanted at the cost of her pet, what does the Princess of Friendship do?

And if I cast it one more time, I bet I could get this right.

That’s right! Cast the spell again, because if a small ‘correction’ caused so many changes, further changes will surely have no repercussion at all.

She even has to go behind Spike’s back to cast the spell, because she knows he’d tell the Princess about it, which raises another question.

Why isn’t she telling Princess Celestia?

Sure, I can understand her desire to be the first to examine Star Swirl’s spells, because her hunger for knowledge is part of who Twilight is. However, she has now seen the effect this spell has, she has seen the negative outcomes that come from changing the past. Shouldn’t she tell the Princess that she found a caché of old Star Swirl spells? Old, incomplete spells?

But I suppose the rest of the story has to happen, so she casts the spell again with the intent of bringing Owlowiscious back, but as she falls asleep she thinks back to Rainbow Dash’s love for books and dreams herself back to the day the pegasus broke her wing and got hospitalised.

So, to recap. Twilight realises she’s dealing with an incomplete spell about which she doesn’t know the mechanics, process of how it works, or any other side effect. She casts this spell going behind the back of not only Spike, but also Princess Celestia. And because she doesn’t know exactly how this spell works, she accidentally dreams herself to another point in time she was not prepared to change and will have no way of knowing what things will change further down the timeline.

Did you get all that? Good, because the questionable decisions keep coming and they won’t stop coming.

While there’s some initial disorientation as to where she is, it soon becomes clear that it’s the time Dash had her accident and the whole reading debacle happened.

So, now that she’s realised she’s in the past, in a moment in time she’s not prepared to face, and knowing full well that anything she changes will have serious repercussions in her present, what does Twilight do?

Why, she saves Rainbow Dash and prevents her accident, of course!

She said she was acting purely out of instinct and fear at the moment, but she had already realised she was in a dream. She saw herself as a unicorn walking up to the hill from where Pinkie Pie and Rarity were looking at Rainbow perform her tricks. She saw herself, as an alicorn, merge with the unicorn Twilight and take her place in the dream/past, so how can she not be aware that this is exactly what had happened before?

Remember, she originally set out to bring Owlowiscious back, she in no way was prepared to change anything about Rainbow Dash’s past. You may say that this is why she acted out of fear, but I think it’s actually the other way around. She is not prepared to deal with the fallout of changing Dash’s accident, so there’s all the more reason to let things unfold as they did because, once again, she’s aware that she’s in the past.

I should move along, we’re only halfway through chapter 2, and we still have a lot of ground to cover.

So let’s cut to the chase, how has Rainbow Dash’s life changed thanks to Twilight’s intervention?

She’s now a Wonderbolt and is in a relationship with Soarin!

Oh, and she never developed an interest in Daring Do, so she never dragged everyone half-across the world to help Yearling write her next book, and never helped her thwart Ahuizotl’s plan, although thankfully that was sorted out without causing a thousand years of blistering summer heat. What a lucky break huh?

It’s at this point that Twilight should realise these time altering quests are far more dangerous than they’re worth and should inform Princess Celestia as soon as possible.

But if I tell her she might tell Celestia and I'll have to undo all this.

You don’t say.

Anyway, Twilight confides in Applejack about the time-altering spell, focusing on how great it is that she’s now a published author and Rainbow is a Wonderbolt, while conveniently ignoring Owlowiscious and how close they came to having to deal with a millenia-long heatwave. (Whether or not Celestia couldn’t simply undo Ahuizotl’s efforts is besides the point, by the time something is done about it, there’s no way of knowing the damage that could cause not only to Equestria, but to the whole world)

Ever the voice of reason, Applejack mentions that “Changin' history. It just ain't natural.” Which is something Twilight should have honestly learned already. She also mentions a little nugget of wisdom, courtesy of Granny Smith:

These things happen for a reason, deary. I know this is hard, but hard times should help us remember who we are, not make us question it. A pony doesn't get her cutie mark and then lose her destiny.'

It’s true! It is our decisions who shape who we are, all of our past experiences and decisions contribute to the person we are in the present. Sure, everyone has at some point thought about what they would have done different in their lives, but you say that with the knowledge of what those decisions have brought. Changing, or even sidestepping the harsher moments of your life may seem tempting, but they also serve to strengthen our resolve to work for a better future.

It’s forwards we should be facing, not backwards.

So, how does Twilight react to this?

I need to make sure I'm careful on my next trip. I don't want to make anypony else's lives miserable when I try to help them.

I think it should be obvious by now why I’m dedicating such an extensive rant piece to this story.

Since it’s going to take a while for Twilight to learn her lesson, let’s check how Rainbow is doing.

So, as I mentioned, she’s dating Soarin. He happened to be in Ponyville during the week Rainbow would have otherwise been hospitalised. They hanged out, she showed him some of her stunts, and he put a good word about her with the Wonderbolts, which sped up her acceptance process. Not too long afterwards they hit it off and start a relationship.

Of course no relationship is without its problems, so Rainbow Dash has a little heart to heart with Twilight where she tells her about her insecurities regarding her relationship and Twilight does a good job in reassuring her.

These moments, and I think chapter four in general, are a welcome respite from the barrage of questionable decisions that have comprised the meat of this story so far. Rainbow Dash remains in-character when discussing her feelings for Soarin, and how she feels she’s not good enough for him. I don’t care all that much about SoarinDash, but as I read this, I genuinely believed these two were in love. All in all these scenes are the highest point of the story.

Do you know what’s curious about high points? What follows is usually a steep descent.

“After talking with Dash, and thinking about Applejack's past, she thought she'd found something she could change that would help her friend without negative side-effects.”

Yeah, let’s leave the fate of Equestria up to the whims of chance and hope everything turns out well. It worked for Ahuizotl, right? Then again, it’s not as though Twilight paid any mind to that issue.

Actually, that kind of makes things worse.

Think about it. Twilight’s first incursion to change the past led to her losing Owlowiscious, and now that she did it a second time, she doesn’t spare a second thought to finding out if what she has done has caused something bad to happen.

Nothing obviously negative has happened, so that means everything is sunshine and rainbows!

But yeah, without a second thought, Twilight casts the spell again and makes it so the Apple Family strike a deal about cider manufacturing and distribution with the Flim Flam brothers.

It’s hard for me to criticise this action since, as much as I liked ‘The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000’, I never got why the Apples and the Mane6 never tried to turn the brothers around to the path of friendship. (Unless, of course, you ascribe to the theory that the Apples intentionally produced a limited batch of cider each season as a mean to artificially control the supply and keep the prices up, but that’s a topic for another day.)

Anyway, as soon as Prime!Twilight wakes up, she finds out there are a few subtle differences from what happened the last day. Mainly, she told Rainbow Dash about the time spell (in the previous timeline, she didn’t muster up the courage to tell her) and Spike sent the scrolls to Princess Celestia shortly after Twilight left to see Rainbow Dash.

Oh, and the Apples are now one of the richest families in Equestria.

But let’s focus on that Princess Celestia bit, because it’s important. Twilight flies to Canterlot, where she’s informed that the Princess took the sensible approach and assigned a team of scholars and magicians to examine Star Swirl’s scrolls. While most spells were indeed unfinished and didn’t work, one in particular was finished, even though we were told earlier that the time spell was incomplete.

While analysing the dream/time spell, they discovered it needed alicorn magic to work. Long story short, Princess Celestia laments how in his latter years Star Swirl became so obsessed with his past, believing he could set things right if he only had the means to change certain moments in history, and how the discovery of this spell undermines all the long talks she had with him hoping to dissuade him.

"It is true that looking through these spells of his has brought back much of the heartache I felt for Star Swirl. Yet I am not sorry that you sent these to me. Sometimes we may feel upset about our past - loss is always particularly painful - but a sad past does not prevent us from moving into a joyful future.

...said Celestia as Twilight was standing right besides her. Oh, but it doesn’t end there.

"I am so proud of you, Twilight. How much you've learned. And more than that, how much you've grown! I am so grateful for your continued pursuit of what truly matters. You no longer seek things like magic and organization that crumble during the first signs of trouble. Instead, you seek the joys of friendship that last for a lifetime."

Surely, surely now Twilight must realise that it’s time to open up to Celestia. Confide in her. Tell her that she lost herself in the delusion that she could choose what could and could not be when the truth is that it is not her place to choose.

Right?

"Thank you for believing in me." Twilight graciously said. Then she thought, But I'm more like Star Swirl than you might think…

…

So, the Apple family is now one of the richest families in Equestria, and their prosperity has expanded to the rest of their little town. Ponyville is now a more developed town with a bustling commercial activity, with a main street that wouldn’t look out of place in Manehattan.

Therefore, that raises the number of ponies whose lives have been altered to: The Apples, most likely the rest of the Apple Clan, the residents of Ponyville, the Flim Flam Brothers, Filthy Rich and Barnyard Bargains, and Equestria’s economy.

But all and every single one of those changes was probably positive anyways, so let’s not think about them.

Once Prime!Twilight finds Applejack, she is shocked to see her usual kind and dependable friend is now more serious and business-minded, treating her with a somewhat cold demeanor.

When Prime!Twilight has no recollection of a certain favour regarding zoning areas in the neighboring land of Sweet Apple Acres (which is considerably more massive now) Applejack tells her off.

Now Twilight realises she’s changed fundamental parts of her friend’s personality, but before she can think that this might just prove that what she’s doing probably isn’t all that harmonious, they patch things up.

Also, this raises an interesting point that is in never properly addressed in the story, so I might as well mention it now.

If we were to define a person (or a pony) as a result of their past experiences, then what exactly is Star Swirl’s spell doing? Is it altering reality to fit the changes Twilight makes in the past? Changing the memories and personalities of the ponies afflicted by those changes? If that’s the case, then it must also be altering the memories of all the ponies the afflicted ponies must have been in contact since the change was made.

Or is it literally rewriting history, and the original version of Spike, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack have ceased to exist while being replaced with these new versions? Has everyone in Equestria also been replaced? Does that mean that Twilight is effectively erasing a version of Equestria every time she changes the past?

How does it relate to Twilight’s destiny to become an ali--Oh, wait. No, wrong spell.

Anyway, this bout of existential horror is quickly deflated by Twilight.

Even if she'd become more successful and had less time for her friends, that didn't make AJ different on the inside. She really is still my friend. I didn't screw that up.

And by ‘deflated’ I mean completely ignored. So, once again, let’s not think about it too much.

In the middle of their conversation, Applejack raised a very good question: Why exactly is Twilight doing this?

Twilight smiled. "I wanted to do something for you. You've been such a good friend and I know how hard you work. I just wanted to give you the success you deserve."

"And instead of working towards a successful tomorrow, I'll tinker with the past!"

Listen, I know the whole point of the story is to have Twilight learn that it isn’t her place to decide what is and isn’t good for her friends, but shouldn’t she already know all of this?

Wasn’t part of the lesson from Magical Mystery Cure that their destinies belong to noone but themselves, and one shouldn’t try to change that?

“But her friends were happy.”

“I have drastically changed Equestrian history, and an untold number of creatures have been affected, but my friends are superficially fine, so no worries.”

Actually, now that I think about it, why hasn’t Twilight checked to see if the rest of her friends are okay?

If Rainbow Dash started her training to become a Wonderbolt around the time she had her accident in the original timeline, that means she probably wasn’t as free as she was to train the pegasi of Ponyville for the tornado needed to lift water to Cloudsdale, how does this play into Fluttershy’s ongoing quest to surpass a different fear?

How did the events of 'Just for Sidekicks' play out if Owlowiscious was no longer there, and Spike still hadn’t worked through most of his insecurities?

If neither AJ nor Rainbow Dash were available, does that mean that the CMC never went on that camping trip where Scootaloo learned to admit her fears to others? What about the events of Apple Family Reunion, or Wonderbolts Academy? How is that different?

You may think I’m overthinking things that don’t pertain to the conflict at hand, but guess what. Since Applejack was too busy with tending her business, she couldn’t save Spike from the timberwolves and now he’s lost his tail.

Now we have an objective way to see that Twilight’s tinkering with time is causing measurable damage to those around her. This is the moment where Twilight should realise the folly of her ways, apologise to her friends, and come clean to Princess Celestia in the hopes that they can figure out a way to undo all of Twilight’s meddling.

So, of course, she decides to fix things on her own.

“She started to work on that train of thought, but shook her head. I can worry about analyzing this later, she thought. After I fix all of this.”

I just wanted to note that not analysing things is precisely what got her into this problem in the first place. But hey, when has Twilight Sparkle been known to overthink things?

So, she goes back to save Spike from the timberwolves and feels content about how “there shouldn’t be any negative side effects this time.”

One guess as to what happens next.

Here’s a hint: We’re only on chapter eight of an eighteen chapter story.

Chapter nine opens up with Prime!Twilight in a radically different timeline. How radical, you ask? Well, she’s no longer an alicorn nor a Princess, for starters. She’s living in Canterlot and Rainbow Dash is her personal guard.

No, I didn’t accidentally click on another story, believe it or not there’s a reasonable explanation as to why this happened. Well, reasonable within the context of this fic.

First off, we find out that while Prime!Twilight takes over her body in a dream, her past self enters a trance where she isn’t fully aware of her actions. This raises further questions.

If we designate the moment in time where Prime!Twilight makes a change in the timeline as “Point A”, and the moment she wakes up in the present “Point B”, I have to wonder what happens to the Twilight who has lived in that reality during that time.

Prime!Twilight’s past experiences have made it clear that she’s not aware of the changes made to the timeline until she wakes up and goes to find out, so that means that the Twilight who has lived in Equestria from Point A to Point B has effectively ceased to exist the moment Prime!Twilight wakes up from her time-altering shenanigans.

Earlier I mentioned how the true nature of Star Swirl’s spell and its effect on the other ponies gave me an existential horror vibe. Well, now add what we just found out about Twilight and it gets even worse.

Prime!Twilight doesn’t know these ponies, nor this Equestria. Conversely, the Twilight the Mane6 and the rest of her friends know no longer exists. For all intents and purposes, this Twilight is an alien who has lost the last year of their lives.

She has just found out that Rainbow Dash is a Wonderbolt, how Applejack owns one of the largest agricultural enterprises in Equestria, how the Wonderbolts were disbanded after Celestia’s death, how part of Ponyville was destroyed by the black vines from the Everfree.

Oh, right. Celestia is dead now.

Since Twilight never ascended to Alicornhood, she couldn’t drink Zecora’s alicorn-only potion that let her look into the past and figure out the source of those black vines that took over Ponyville. As a result, the Princesses remained trapped and Celestia sacrificed herself so her sister could escape.

If I can say something positive--because otherwise, I believe my liver will call it quits--the scene where Luna brings Twilight up to speed with this, is very well done. You can really sense the pain Luna feels and how she blames herself for her sister’s death. It makes you care about her loss, and you wish there was a way to bring Celestia back.

Hmmm…

Anyway, when faced with this revelation, does Twilight finally decide it’s time to come clean and ask Luna for help?

I’m ashamed that you’d ask that, you should know better by now. She goes moping around the castle, and when I say mope, I mean loitering around while doing some navel gazing.

“So for a long while, Twilight sat in the gardens. She didn't think much and when she did think she kept her thoughts on pointless matters relating to what she happened to notice in the garden. For how long do lilies bloom? What are the distinctions between beavers and muskrats? She thought she might doze off once or twice, but that didn't happen either.”

I’m sorry, has she forgotten she can change the timeline? Or is it now that she finally swears off her time-altering shenanigans? Well, no, she goes back to her old ways a chapter later, but that just makes me wonder what is the point of this scene.

I mean, she knows she has the means to save Celestia, and if she only sits down to think carefully about the possible impact her actions may have, she can minimise further problems.

But I guess Twilight can’t cast Star Swirl’s spell because she’s no longer an alicorn. I mean, where else would you find one? It would be great if there was another skilled alicorn nearby who could cast that spell. That spell that only works once a pony dreams. Boy, it sure would be great if we knew of an alicorn who could do that.

Hey, let’s ponder the lifespan of the mayfly.

Anyway, eventually Rainbow Dash and Soarin manage to snap Twilight out of her rut. Do they go see Luna?

No! They go see Rarity, who is living and working in Canterlot after the black vines destroyed Carousel Boutique. Don’t think about all the other ponies who also lost their homes and means of living, because this story sure doesn’t.

“So far every change in this timeline had been worse, but here was the silver lining in an otherwise ominous black thunderhead. Rarity has always loved Canterlot.”

Celestia is dead, Twilight is no longer a Princess, untold damage has been done to Ponyville, the cancellation of the Equestria Games has affected hundreds of lives, the Wonderbolts disbanded and joined the EUP Guard, the old Castle is in complete ruin, but at least Rarity is happy.

"Wait, I've got it!" Rainbow Dash beamed and took to the air. "Princess Luna! She's an alicorn, right? So she's got alicorn magic! You can tell her how to do the spell. Then she can go back and fix everything!"

It says something when the most logical and sensible approach is suggested by Rainbow Dash.

Now that the obvious answer has been brought up, does our main character in Twilight cloak follow it?

Luna was so mad when I just mentioned Celestia. How's she going to feel when I tell her I'm the one responsible for her sister's death?

Yeah, I’m going to bet any anger she may feel will be eclipsed by the knowledge her sister can be saved.

Anyway, after a while of getting lost in self-pity, Twilight finally confesses the truth of what she’s been doing. (It only took 12 chapters!) Predictably, Luna doesn’t believe her, and asks for proof.

Now, I should note that every time after her initial trip, Twilight has cast the spell on her own, and even perfectly recalled it when she was talking with Rarity and Rainbow Dash. Therefore, she should be able to explain the mechanics of the spell to Princess Luna, as well as the effects she knows for sure it has.

Instead, she asks the Princess to come with her to the old castle to look for the spell, since she didn’t find it in this timeline.

Oh, but the next line is just priceless.

That's my only real evidence. What else can I say?

How about the fact that you don’t know a single thing about the timeline you’re living in save for a few major points? How about you remembering things that obviously didn’t happen? Knowledge about the process of alicorn ascension? Letting Luna into your dreams and showing her stuff from the original timeline? Literally any of the options you could come up with if you invested a few minutes of thought?

But since letting an alicorn who has a domain over dreams cast the spell that lets one travel back in time within your dreams isn’t an option. Maybe Luna can do it herself and succeed where Twilight has failed spectacularly over and over again. Still, she presents a question of her own:

“A Princess leaving Canterlot for a full day could make quite an impact on the timeline. We may be trading one destroyed future for another."

Then take ten minutes to write a few letters and send them to Twilight. That was the very first thing that popped into my mind when I read this. Why is nobody thinking things through?

Let’s just move on to chapter thirteen, which for some reason spends a good chunk of its intro making Twilight wonder if she’s crazy and imagined all the previous timelines, even though we know she isn’t. Don’t try to be ‘Believing Stories’.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders make a brief appearance to remind us that they exist, but we never get to see just how much the diverging timelines have affected them outside of some brief thought Twilight has. Which, honestly, is a really big deal.

Apple Bloom belongs to a wealthy family now, Scootaloo hasn’t got the chance to become closer with Rainbow Dash now that she’s a Wonderbolt and then a guard. Sweetie Belle is probably back to living with her parents now that Rarity lives in Canterlot.

But I guess that’s not important, right?

Anyway, once they’re back in Golden Oaks, Discord appears. He’s sensed the time alterations and has followed them to its source, i.e.: Twilight.

There are many, many things I could nitpick about their conversation, but I just want to focus on one:

"But you did sense that I cast a spell," she said. "And you knew that it changed reality."

So Discord knows she is the cause of all of this and that she did cast those spells. Now all she has to do is have him tell so to Princess Luna to prove that she’s telling the truth, have her tweak the spell with her alicorn and dream magic, and they can right all the mess Twilight has made.

But she sends him away, instead. Raise your hand if this surprises you.

Now, some thirteen chapters after she should have, Twilight starts researching about time spells and the nature of time travel.

“they read hundreds of pages [...] Yet she had found nothing worth the time they'd spent.”

You and me both.

She was certain that if she discovered why saving Spike changed Celestia's mind so dramatically it would allow her to uncover what was needed to become an alicorn. Or at the very least might convince Luna to try her spell.

How about letting Discord talk to her?

That's all we are: A straw in the haystack. A fleck of dust in the wind.

This story has not earned the right to be nihilistic. Not when the answer is staring at everyone’s faces.

Anyway, the chapter then takes a tonal shift by having Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy come by to reassert their existence after twelve chapters of taking a bus through less insane places.

Twilight finally stops being emo for a few seconds so she can bring the rest of the girls up to speed. These scenes are pure fluff and while it’s a more welcome addition than Twilight’s brain flatlining every couple hundred words, it makes it all the more grating knowing they can solve this whole issue.

Later that day, after lots of failed avenues of research, Twilight remembers that Luna sent her a letter that morning. Luna sent her a letter. The only alicorn who can help her has sent her a letter and Twilight forgot about it. Twilight forgot about it.

Do I need to repeat it?

I’ll be honest, I really wanted to drop this story at this point, but part of me just wanted to see Twilight get her just deserts after ruining absolutely everything for almost everyone.

My patience is rewarded because Luna’s letter delivers a clear and concise “you screwed up everything”.

She never met Owlowiscious, so Spike never learned his lesson about jealousy. Rainbow Dash never got in that accident, so she never discovered her passion about Daring Do and all that entailed, and so on.

But what really should be noted is that, while Celestia saw all this as signs that Twilight hadn’t quite reached the point where she was ready to become a princess, we should look at this from Twilight’s point of view, because she made all of these decisions a posteriori. She had already worked with Spike through his jealousy, she had helped Rainbow Dash enjoy reading, she had helped the Apples face the Flim Flam brothers, but not even once did the thought of undoing all that they went through crossed her mind.

This is great, and made me cheer for Luna, but it doesn’t make up for the fourteen chapters of gruelling agony it took to reach this point.

Afterwards, the rest of the girls start blaming one another in a way so grating I don’t even have the energy to recap it. Long story short, Twilight gets that same spark from MMC and realises that while she can’t use alicorn magic, the magic of friendship can work just as well.

So, just in case you thought Twilight needed to see the scroll in this timeline to activate the spell, somehow. No, she could easily recall the spell, have Discord back her up with Princess Luna, and then set out to fix everything.

I guess it makes sense to have Twilight be the one to right all her wrongs. I mean, I don’t want to, I honestly wish this Twilight the worst. But I’ll roll with it just because there are three chapters left.

Let’s pause for a moment and think about how can this whole debacle be fixed, because I have a proposal.

So, Twilight intervened in four pivotal points: She prevented Spike from burning a book, saved Rainbow Dash from her accident, got the Flim Flam brothers and the Apples to work together, and saved Spike from the timberwolves.

I believe that to minimise the chances of creating more unforeseen changes, the best course of action is to travel back to the most recent change and let things follow their natural course, just like they did in the original timeline. Once the latest of this issues is solved, go back to the previous change and repeat the process. Remember that if she undoes the last change, Prime!Twilight goes back to being an alicorn, and should have no problem casting the spell again.

Instead, Pinkie Pie suggests going even further back to an earlier point in the timeline and sidestep the entire problem. Spike then volunteers to receive a message from Prime!Twilight in the past and reveal it at the right moment to avoid the entire plot of the story, because there’s no chance that could cause an even worse timeline.

Twilight initially refuses to place such a responsibility on Spike, but finally gets it through her thick skull that she shouldn’t be taking matters into her own hooves and trust her friends. It only took the complete obliteration of several timelines, as well as getting rid of her pet owl, changing her friends lives as well as the lives of hundreds if not thousands of residents of Equestria, endangering Spike’s life and indirectly causing Celestia’s death, but Twilight learned her lesson!

Twilight finally starts behaving like her usual self, and spares a moment of thought to the notion that once she corrects the timeline back to its original course, these versions of her friends will be lost. This does go back to what I said about whether or not the original versions of the Mane6 have also been lost, and even if this attempt at fixing the course of history will restore those versions, or rather create a new set of them.

But who has time for that, there is drama to be had!

Fixing the timeline also means that Rainbow Dash and Soarin’ will never become a couple. But before we can really get to experience that sense of loss and grief, we’re assured they’ll still find a way to get together because Soarin’ already had some interest in her since they first met and surely they’ll end up together in the end.

Everyone throws a farewell party and Twilight starts to feel guilty about robbing their friends of their futures, even though there is no reason why Applejack can’t search for and contact the Flim Flam brothers in the present, Rarity can’t eventually expand to Canterlot, and Rainbow can’t join the Wonderbolts.

Anyway, we finally reached the last chapter, so let’s wrap this up!

Twilight dreams herself back to the day after Nightmare Moon's defeat and makes Spike write a letter for herself at some point in the future.

Why isn’t she writing the scroll herself and then telling Spike to hide it, as to minimise the chances of him learning about the future and risking everything? Good question. Don’t expect an answer, though, because it’s time to see how Twilight’s plan backfires to the surprise of nobody but herself.

Since the story couldn’t end without Twilight making one last stupid decision, we find out that she didn’t tell Spike when to let her past self know about her message from the future opting to be vague instead. As a result, Spike told her the first time she travelled back and prevented the burning of the book that would lead to her meeting Owlowiscious.

How hard was it to stick a note that said “Do not open until Day X, Month Y, Year Z” and tell Spike to hide it until then?

Why does nobody think things through? It was bad enough that she didn’t go straight to the point with her message, but she also included such little tidbits as: “Rainbow Dash became a Wonderbolt - she even started dating Soarin'! And Applejack's farm became an Equestria-wide corporation more successful than you could imagine.”

Still, she did mention the grave consequences her actions would have should she go down the same path. So, what does Past!Twilight do?

"This letter shows me that I can change the world!"

It’s at this point I wished this story had a ‘Tragedy’ tag, because nothing I’ve covered so far compares with the way this story ends. Wanna know how?

Why, everything is set straight thanks to Past!Twilight planning things so they all go according to her master plan, of course! What’s that you say? That invalidates the lesson Prime!Twilight had learned throughout the entire story?

You don’t say.

So, as a final recap. Twilight’s conceit ends up causing the death of Celestia, changing the lives of thousands, endangering her friends, and who knows what more. And by the end of the story, not only is she not punished for this, but she saves the day by changing things further, and she’s rewarded for it! All her friends keep her positive changes, but now Celestia and Owlowiscious are back. Remember when Twilight was trying to bring Owlowiscious back? I sure didn't.

Twilight has learned nothing. And it has gone so far as to undermine other lessons she may have learned.

This has amounted to nothing.

Oh, and the epilogue has Star Swirl leaving that spell behind because he came to terms with his past, saying that “A pony would only wish to travel to the past if they had forgotten about the hope promised by the future.”

Gee, I wonder who could have used such a lesson.

As a way of closing this needlessly long rant, I have something to say to the two of you who managed to read through this whole thing. Whenever you stumble upon moments in a story that make you raise an eyebrow at its logic, ask yourself what would happen if the opposite took place. What if Twilight had made the rational decision and shared the discovery of Star Swirl’s scrolls with Celestia early on instead of trying them out on her own without double checking them? What if she had taken the time to ponder the possible negative outcomes of her time alterations? What if she had simply realised she shouldn’t play chess with her friends destinies?

If the answer to any of those questions is “Well, if that’s the case there’d be no story”, then perhaps the author is letting see the traces of his greasy hands running the cogs behind the curtain.

Now, you can probably say the same of just about any story, but the skill of the author relies on hiding that fact and making it seem as though that’s how things would naturally develop.

‘More About Time’ fails spectacularly at that aspect. Every single conflict and setback in this story could have been avoided had Twilight devoted even a brief moment of thought about her actions instead of diving head first into a blunder.

I’m this flustered because I really wanted this story to be good, and for very brief moments I had hopes. I mean, just think of the premise. It’s ‘The Cutie Re-Mark’ minus the angst, over the top grim alternate futures, and lackluster backstory for a great antagonist. I would have loved to see this done well.

Alas, this story has just left a horrid aftertaste in my mouth. I think I may actually have yelled at the screen a couple of times…

As a farewell, I’ll abridge this entire rant with the immortal words of the Rolling Stones:

Maybe I should have just linked that and save everyone thirty minutes...