Follow-up to obligatory MFW post · 8:00pm Jan 26th, 2014
Well, that was a thing.
Of "Three's a Crowd," I can't say "OMG Best Episode Evar" or even "OMG Best Episode S4" (that still belongs to "Rarity Takes Manehattan"), but it does feel nice to have a bone thrown to one every once in a while as far as canonical material featuring one's own favorite character. Took a while to take off; almost half the episode was spent on Discord systematically eliminating the remaining cast, but once it got going, it was a fun time. Also, an acceptable amount of headcanon was confirmed this day, additionally adding to my feeling of contentment. To wit:
1. Cadance not particularly skilled at flying.
2. Cadance quite good at health magic in addition to her listed love-spreading talents.
3. Cadance rankles easily under too stable a social setting and is driven to acts of thrillseeking (an entire upcoming story called "Hailing Frequency" is sparked by exactly this character trait.)
Interesting new things learned:
1. The Crystal Ponies have their own friggin' badass crystal locomotive. Presumably rail travel was not a Thing a thousand years ago, so these dudes are pretty industrious and forward-thinking.
2. Cadance is willing and able to to moon-laser giant worms and perform a finishing maneuver with hundreds of tons of rubble. Nice.
3. Twi and Cady look really odd when wearing each other's hair.
I'm going to leave you now with my personal best face pic from the episode...
Life in the Crystal Empire is... wonderful! This is Candybutt's "Princess Celestia Hates Tea" face, and I love her for it.
That really was one metal train.
For me, interesting thing learned #4: Discord can be taken down with a glob of Tatzlwurm mucus. Meaning that he is less invulnerable than he appeared to be - and, incidentally, at least Twilight and Cadance, and perhaps also the rest of the Mane 6, know this.
The Cady isn't a good flier thing doesn't make sense. She was a Pegasus according to one of the books.
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A foundling pegasus raised entirely by earth ponies. Her adoptive parents likely didn't train her well.
I knew you'd love that shot.
And yes, the Crystal Express was several kinds of awesome. It's like the crystal pony engineers took the concept of a locomotive and said to themselves, "It moves at incredible speeds, carries an immense amount of cargo, requires a dedicated infrastructure... it must be a weapon! Let's make a better one."
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Those engineers must've been baffled when they were told that you're not supposed to lure your enemies onto the tracks and then ram them.
1761988 Assuming of course it really did make him sick. Pretending to be really ill this time is a pretty effective way of "cooling the mark" after his little stunt.
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I wouldn't be surprised if they added an off the rails mode.
Why lure them to the tracks when you can bring the train to them?
Also, Twi and Cady switching colors was hilarious.
YES
THIS
Admittedly, it's slightly odd given that we have a semi-canonical backstory for her being born a pegasus, but those kinds of things can be ignored easily. I had such a lovely HEADCANON CONFIRMED moment from this episode. :D
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Assuming the chapter books are canon. Which I'm not sure, even though I do consider at least Cadance's origin from the book to be valid in my own headcanon.
She might also have been talking about long distance flying. Endurance and skill are not the same thing, after all.
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A boring way, judging by the fact he seems stuck in that isolation bubble. And I don't think Discord would willingly subject himself to boring situations.
4. Apparently Cadence is enough of a nerd to keep up with Twilight (see: Candlestick of Starswirl).
As for #1, Cadance said she was out of practice, not that she wasn't good at it.
Was the guard with Brad the first non-earth, native crystal pony we've seen?
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1. Quite true, but still close enough to count as a headcanon hit for me.
2. IIRC, this is the first crystal Peggy we've seen. He makes things a little problematic for me. But hey, you can't win 'em all.
1762214
It's a shame about the crystal pegasus, because if he had been an earth pony, it would have also explained why a non-crystal pony like Brad was on Cadance's guard: Pegasus guards need to be imported from elsewhere.
Hmn... maybe they were just stick-on wings to make him match the other guard?
We also learned that the Crystal Empire is not a 100% earth pony realm. When Candybutt got off the CRYSTAL TRAIN (I think all references to it should be in caps lock. At least until someone thinks of a imaginative name for it. HINT HINT) she had two pegasus guards. One of which was a crystal pony.
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So is Fluttershy.
1762345 Fluttershy doesn't like flying. She hasn't been bad at it since she was a kid :P She chased Dash down in Return of Harmony after all.
1762385
Well, and Cady was pulling a giant (probably) solid gold chariot, so she can't be that poor of a flier. It's just not something she is particularly skilled at.
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When Fluttershy chased Dash down she was in the same frame of mind that allows her to stare down dragons. I don't think that specific feat is representative of her flying ability.
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It could also just be that that particular pony has been exposed to enough magical crystal magic from the big glowy lazer shooty love thing that he has become permanently crystal, like what obviously happened to the crystal ponies to change them from Earth ponies into crystal ones.
I like the idea that Brad and the crystal Pegasus are Royal Guard advisors attached to the Crystal Guard to get them up to speed on modern guard policy and such. The no-name Pegasus was probably given some kind of crystallization spell to help him blend in with the other rank-and-file types, while I'd guess Brad is probably an officer, and needs to stick out more because of that.
1762143 Fluttershy was also born a pegasus. And according to the book canon, Cadance's been raised by earth ponies.
1762316 He could just be a pegasus who got there in the first batch and got more crystal radiation. Unfortunately, this still eliminates the Crystal Ponies as a distinct race alongside Earth, Pegasus and Unicorn Ponies.
On the plus side, I can count Changelings as ponies alongside Bat and Sea Ponies and come out with a total of 6 races, which pleases me for reasons you can probably guess.
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Am I missing something with the "Brad" reference? Did they call the guard by name during the show? I watched a crappy rip and it stuttered through that scene.
1762175 This. Which, incidentally, also tracks with MLP comic canon (where Shiny was a huge nerd in high school and Cadence fell for him). In general I don't think we need to consider supplemental material like comics the same way we do the main show, but the Cadence-secretly-a-nerd meme is one I am glad to see.
Also, I'm extremely glad I haven't yet written Cadence into Hard Reset 2. I'm going to have to give her an extra level of badass when she shows up.
This sums up the majority of my thoughts on the episode. I'm glad Discord still has some villainous intentions--keeps him interesting.
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Brad was the name he was assigned by a skeptical fandom before the movie came out, because he seemed lame and generic-high-school enough to be a 'Brad'.
I pointed at the screen and gleefully yelled 'NERD!'* when she gushed over the candlestick. Great moment.
*I wasn't watching alone, so this isn't quite as insane a thing to do as it might appear at first blush.
1762903
"Brad" is the fanon name for Flash Sentry. It's easier to type and conveys a certain amount disdain for the character.
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Why does everyone always forget that Dash was dragging Rarity and Pinkie in that scene? Fluttershy only needed to keep up with Dash long enough for Applejack to get that rope on her anyways.
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I've always been of the headcanon that crystal ponies are just ponies who've powered the crystal heart enough for its sparkly-ness to rub off on them more-or-less permanently. Unfortunately, I've never found a fic where crystal ponies aren't another type of pony. It's the same with my liking bat ponies being just an exotic fashion fad. There's a bagizillionz of fics that feature batponies as a separate species, but I'm apparently in the extreme minority when I think that it'd be more interesting if it was an illusion spell that Luna came up with for Nightmare Night.
Well, I assume that the Crystal Empire had to upgrade their public transport systems as part of their bid for the Equestrian Games. I should go ask Ms. Harshwhinney about it.
1762175 To be fair, I doubt one could foalsit for Twilight and not hear all about Starswirl's exploits. Cadance is probably kind enough to show some legitimate interest in something that excites her young charge so much so that they can share it together.
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If she managed to remember Starswirl's Candlestick just to share something with Twilight, then Cadence may be on her way to becoming the most dangerous politician in the world.
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I immediately surmised the same thing, that the crystal locomotive is just one of the many public works projects that went along with their Games bid.
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Not sure you're entirely in the minority; both Raugos's "Night Guards" and 1762903's quite excellent "Princess Luna Picks Up Hitchhikers" imply that the lunar guards are spelled to appear that way (the former going one step further to imply that the two you see on Nightmare Night are basically the only extant ones.) That said, with both Lauren Faust and M.A. Larson voicing support for "batponies as separate tribe" I think a lot of people who had no particular feeling about it in advance adopted that as canon.
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Either that or SHE JUST WOULD NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN CANDLESTICK YOU COULD NOT SPEND THE NIGHT WITH HER WITHOUT HER GOING ON AND ON ABOUT IT. This is admittedly more cynical, and I think I prefer your take.
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(Two years later)
SOMBRA: GREETINGS, MY CRYSSSTAL SSSLAVES! I HAVE REGENERATED MYSELF FROM THE BIT OF MY HORN LEFT BEHIND AND I HAVE RETURNED TO CONQUER... you...
SFX: (sound of distant train whistle growing rapidly nearer, accompanied by the sound of screeching crystalline wheels tearing across open landscape)
SOMBRA: Do... do any of you hear that noise?
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Suddenly. Boink.
On the top of the train, Cadence cackles as she sprays magic Microwave Laser all over the smoke that was Sombra.
You misspelled "awesome".
My thoughts on the Crystal Empire's train went something like this:
"This is it, your highness," Rail Spike said, fluffing his wings in satisfaction.
Princess Celestia stopped and stared at the chrome and steel monstrosity before her.
"Ah," is all she said for the moment. She paced around to the other side of it, as if hoping that she would see the actual train behind what was obviously an elaborate hoax. No such luck. "This is something else."
"I agree! It's the hottest, slickest design, straight out of Detrot Heavy Industries! This baby can go well over twice the speed of our traditional coal-fired trains, and look at that profile!"
Celestia did so, and just barely managed to withhold a wince.
"Nopony is going to get in the way of that!" Rail Spike said smugly. "That's a train that says 'Hey, buddy! I'm in a hurry, so get out of my way!'"
"I imagine so," Celestia replied, slightly faintly. She could see by the reflection in the engine's chrome finish that she was looking slightly woozy. "Wait. 'Get out of the way'? It's a train, is it not?"
"Yup! The finest you'll ever see!"
"It's very... lovely," Celestia said cautiously. "It's not very friendly, though, is it?"
"Friendly?" Rail Spike cocked his head in confusion, clearly at a loss.
"Yes. The actual name of the line is 'The Friendship Express', if you'll recall."
Rail Spike blinked, then turned to look at his creation.
"Ah," he said.
"Quite."
"Yeah, okay. It's not very friendly. I get your point."
"Indeed."
"Um. Well, I suppose I could maybe glue some glitter on it or something to make it look friendlier?"
"Perhaps a bit more than just that," Celestia replied.
"Hmm." Rail Spike stared forlornly at his creation as he drew a forehoof in an idle circle in front of him. "Well, I suppose I can try to find another buyer for this one..."
Celestia opened her mouth to reply only to be interrupted by a pair of approaching ponies, one of whom was Princess Cadance. She was speaking to one of the salesponies, who was wearing a look of mingled excitement and desperation.
Cadance was a very forward-thinking princess, and was using the full might of the Crystal Empire's treasury to modernize and update her new kingdom. Unfortunately, due to a thousand years of inflation, her budget was somewhere in the vicinity of an upper middle-class Canterlot family's total annual income.
"I just don't think I can afford it," Cadance was saying. "Don't you have anything used?"
"Not really, Princess," the salespony said. "We primarly build to order, we don't have—"
"Oh, my goodness!" Cadance exclaimed upon seeing the chromed beast laying on the tracks. "That's one bitchin' train!"
Rail Spike and Celestia exchanged a knowing glance.
"Could be I could let you have it at a bargain," Rail Spike said casually.
"Oh, it must be far too expens—"
"I'll cover the rest of the cost," Celestia said quickly. She cleared her throat and continued with slightly more restraint. "After all, we must all pitch in to assist the Crystal Empire in acclimating to modern times."
"Hmm..." Cadance said. "I was hoping for something a little more... crystal-ey?"
"Tell you what," Rail Spike said, shooing away the distraught salespony, who was now watching his commission flying out the window. "You get me some crystals, I'll add 'em on there. Half-price labor."
"Done!" Cadance said joyfully.
Thus we have the Crystal Empire's new train: The Bitchin' Express.
The reason Shining had to throw her was because he knew she wasn't good enough to catch Spike in time unassisted.
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Im sure she was just humoring Twilight, she was her baby sitter, she knows her as well as her own big sister would and she knows what Twi likes doing. She knew Twilight would take her to that expo and she probably wasn't ignorant of the subject and freshed up on it. She isn't dumb and her whole thing is making ponies feel good around her after all. We've all been in a situation where we have to pretend to be more interested on something than we really are for the sake of someone we care about.
In the end she admits that dealing with Discord And carrying him half the way around the country was a better way to spend her time than Twilight's plan, as annoying as the events of that day were to everybody involved, which should tell you how "trilled" she really was, she just said it so tactfully that Twilight didn't mind.
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It's questionable enough that either take is at least *valid*, but I'm with you on this. From Cady's line about the candle, I get a definite parallel vibe to that moment in "Power Ponies" where Twi tries to get Spike to buck up by saying "Aren't you about to get to the part where Humdrum saves the day?" she doesn't really know and has no preconceived notions, but she really wants to engage in conversation on Spike's level, and that's the same read I get from Cady engaging Twi on Star Swirl.
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I totally want to pay Britt M. to say that line in Cadance voice.
Two things I've noticed:
Applejack's lines have been rapidly degenerating, and Dash's have been (though not at the same rate) too. I'm not sure whether this is the scripting, or the fact that they share the same voice actress, but poor Applejack regardless.
Pinkie Pie has become a lot more two dimensional and nonsensical. And here I had such high hopes after Pinkie Apple Pie...
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I did note that A.J.'s colloquialisms were particularly strained this week, although oddly, I'm not personally bothered by the Pinke thing. When she's not the actual focus of an episode, there's just not time to delve past the wacky, and this has been the case since the S3 opener, pretty much.
Key phrase being S3.
Post S3 has not been kind to our fair little bundle of friendly.
Although I did at least laugh at Pinkie Pie's antics, which is good, I felt a gnawing sense of 'oh, dear' whilst I did so.
The problem is when I stop laughing, and it hasn't quite gotten that bad yet.
1764609
Eh, I think they just do more with her randomness when she's not the focus since S3. When the camera is on her, we get a better balance of actual issues to round out the crazy ("Too Many Pinkie Pies," e.g.) Background Pinkie is no flatter than she's been since the early days; the only problem is that the writers have upped her antics enough that she fools you into thinking she's not a background character this episode. YMMV, of course.
That makes an awful lot of sense...
Also, did anyone else get the feeling that this what TS has been doing with her new found position as the ruler of all the land?Getting private museum tours on obscure unicorn subjects to come out to the sticks, in an earth pony town, coincidentally on days she's supposed to entertain guests?
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Have to admit that hadn't crossed my mind.
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I don't know... I thought the exhibit had a surprisingly good turnout, at least until the hat display chased everyone away. Who knew that Cloudkicker was a Starswirl fan (on a budget, apparently)?
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It's a small town, you put up a few tents and start handing out hats (or booze) and you're gonna get a crowd, its either that or stare the clouds some more.
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She did have the inside scoop.
I, too, am glad to see this is a thing as it is something I've been planning on using.
On an unrelated note, I happened to overhear that you're gonna be spending some quality bonding time with your step-Foglios. Oh, but another friend is tagging along too? One Ms. Garrity? $10 bucks says she catches the blue flu.
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Let's hope not!