New Revelations Chapter 12 Follow-Up · 8:38am Jan 19th, 2014
[Attention: This blog post is a follow-up of Chapter 12 of the story, "New Revelations". If you have not read the chapter, or the story itself for that matter, please ignore this or read it and come back to this. Thank you.]
Well, I bet I know what you're thinking about this chapter:
Wow, Dark Shadow! That was a pretty awful chapter! How could you do such a thing? WHY would you do such a thing? What have you been drinking that convinced you this was a good idea?
If you aren't thinking this, then you've been reading this story for too long to know bad literature when you read it. So, allow me to break it down for you!
First things first, you do realize your story sounds very familiar to that of "The Gemmed Satyr" by The Rarispy. We know "Discoveries" was inspired by "The Sweetest Gem", but are you copying from its sequel to make your own?
I know NOW that the whole "flyers around Ponyville" is similar to that of "The Gemmed Satyr", but when I was typing it, I didn't know that. It has been a while since I read that story [I plan to read it on my youtube channel soon, btw], so it was pure coincidence. Admittedly, the whole butterfly scene in chapter 7 was a small head nod to it, but that's it; it was a one-off that will never be brought up again.
Idiot. Okay, with that out of the way, Dark Shadow, how is this chapter bad?
Simply because if its execution!
What do you mean?
In chapter 11, a major conflict was brought up and was instantly cleared up faster than it was introduced. Think of it like Equestria Girls in that sense [A major conflict of Twilight being set up for destroying the gym was introduced, but quickly resolved in a matter of moments.]
Are you retarded or something?
I'd be so bold as to say that I am, but that would be an insult to the mentally disabled...
Okay, maybe that is bad. Why did you quickly resolve it then, knowing that it was a bad move?
Well, that's because of pacing in the story's plot. You see, if you read the story's main description, that's what the major conflict of the story is and that's what needs to be covered. Although it's been hinted and implied, possibly even started, we haven't even reached that point yet! It seems like this story is dragging its feet too much and really needs to kick it into high gear if the main conflict is going to introduced.
Your point is valid [for once], but if that's how you feel, why do this in the first place?
Although that's the major conflict, there has to be other bumps in the road. At the time, it seemed like a good idea, but looking back at where we are now, I can honestly say that it wasn't a smart move at all, resulting in a quick resolution.
Okay, so you don't want it. Why not re-write the story to eliminate it completely? No harm can come from that! It's your story after all!
That's true and I have considered it. However, one thing stopped me from doing so and that was the resolution scene in the first place!
Say WHAT!?!?
When I decided to quickly end the whole thing, I thought up the whole teary-eyed apology scene from start to finish. After it hit the paper, I thought about redoing the whole story to get rid of that unnecessary conflict, but by that time, I didn't want to get rid of the resolution. This is because I am a sucker for that sort of romance: the teary apology and the sappy forgiveness.
You know you sound like a fuckin' moron when you say that, right?
I know. I'm a few apples short of a peach cobbler.
Okay, I get the whole "quickly-resolved-conflict", the "thought-to-get-rid-of-it", and the "you're-a-sucker-for-romance-and-needs-to-get-a-life" bits, but I don't see how all of this is bad!
Still don't see it? A major conflict like this should get more attention and a better, more fleshed-out resolution, not one that is solved with a simple, "I'm sorry, please forgive me."
Yeah, I see it now. You really are a bad writer who needs to get shot in the face twice, but before we put a hit on you, why did you make this its own chapter?
I didn't want to tack it on the back of the previous chapter because I wanted to space it out a little bit. I didn't put it in the beginning of the next chapter because the focus of that chapter doesn't call for it.
What do we do if there's a question in this post that we have that wasn't addressed?
Comment here or in the story and I will happily explain everything!
Well, thanks for addressing these issues for us. We're all going to find where you live and kill you now.
Looking forward to it! I'll do you all one better and not resist or beg for mercy!
~darkshadow051
Have people really been calling you out for ripping off my stories? I find that amusing.
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No, but one person made that connection, so I wanted to clarify that, is all.
You're sort of beating yourself down. This chapter isn't bad at all.
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It's a tough job, but someone has to do it!
I get what you are doing and what you are trying to accomplish, but do realize there is a difference between beating yourself up and assuming bad things from your readers. Watch what you implicate about those reading your works
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Look, mate, I am not beating myself up or assuming bad things from my readers. I am stating facts. "Discoveries" is a "diamond story" that gets 100+ views on a day-to-day basis. "Revelations" is a train wreck and a pathetic attempt at a sequel that gets less than 30 views a day and never should have seen the light of day. I am going by numbers and facts, not assumptions.