The enchanted cart hovered at a full stop.
A dreadfully steep precipice lingered directly in front of the group, indicating where the top plateau of the mesa dropped off into complete darkness.
"Well..." Logan leaned back in his spot atop the wagon, rubbing his head. "I suppose this shit was inevitable."
Seraphimus muttered: "If I may remind you cretins what I said a few moments ago—"
"You may not," Rainbow Dash took wing and flew towards the dark air just ahead of the cart. "Wildcard—if your former boss says another word, hit her."
Wildcard saluted, then raised his metal prosthetic within breathing distance of Seraphimus.
"... ... ..." Seraphimus merely glared.
"Everypony, relax," Rainbow Dash said, hovering just above the cliff's edge. She squinted into the permeating shadows of the ravine and valley below. "We knew the bridges spanning the canyon were gone the moment we got to Darkreach."
"Right," Flynn said.
"We knew that we'd reach the edge of the mesa at some point or another."
"Right."
"So this wasn't some sort of epic failure of planning on my part," Rainbow said. Dead silence. Arching an eyebrow, she turned tail to glare at Flynn.
The stallion shrugged. "What? Nopony said anything remotely like that."
"I did," Seraphimus droned.
"Wildcard—"
Thwack! Seraphimus' head jolted forward from a metal palm to the back of the skull. She shook in her shackles and murmured under her breath: "'Infidel' is too gentle of a word... even if I did use it like vomit."
"Flynn, we went over this before," Rainbow Dash said. "You know what the plan is..."
"Absolutely!" Flynn nodded with a grin. "And I couldn't be more ready!"
Rainbow blinked at him. "Really?"
"Uhhhh... yeah...?"
"Because days ago you were telling me how stupid and crazy the idea was."
"No... see..." Flynn gestured. "That was referring to the glass ramp in the sea of living stalks beyond the parallel. Jury's still out on that."
"Well, better get into session sooner than later. Cuz we're so totally doing it."
"Yuh huh..." Flynn nodded, tonguing the inside of his muzzle as he avoided her gaze. "I was afraid of that..."
"Now's as good a time as ever to see just how much air this baby of yours can get," Rainbow Dash said.
"Huh?" Logan cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean by that?"
Kepler cleared his throat. "I do believe that the Rrainbow One intends to prropel this crraft swiftly off the mesa's edge and employ it's enchanted carrriage in achieving a slow glide to the valley below."
Ariel blinked.
"Well, what the Hell..." Logan shrugged. "I could use some air anyways. Clear my head." He blew out the side of his muzzle. "Not to mention my stomach."
"If we survive this, I'm sitting upwind of you," Ariel muttered.
"Flynn..." Rainbow looked at the driver. "Did you compensate for... uhm..." He looked aside at Twilight. "...super gravitational karma?"
Twilight Sparkle facehoofed with a ghostly groan.
"If by that you mean 'Did you make sure the whole dayum Hover Plank 5000 won't flip over and crush the Herald to a pulp on its landing,' then... yes..." Flynn nodded. "I made the necessary leyline configurations."
"Cool beans."
"But..." Flynn gestured with his fetlock. "It's still untested. Until I know just what kind of telekinetic oomf I can give this thing, we're gonna need to stabilize it through more conventional means."
"Lemme guess." Ariel craned her neck. "Winged 'oomf.'"
Flynn nodded. "Precisely."
"It'll be like rowin' a canoe!" Applejack remarked. "Only in the air!"
"Right." Rainbow Dash nodded. "Ariel, Wildcard—I'm gonna need your guys' help."
"Sure thing, Rainbow!"
A metal thumb's up.
"Keps... no offense dude..." Rainbow smiled nervously in his direction. "But you're gonna have to sit this one out."
"No offense taken, frriend." Kepler smiled through his tusks. "A naturral borrn gliderr assissting an unnaturral borrn gliderr is the epitome of redundancy."
"That's one way of putting it." Rainbow Dash gestured. "Ariel. You take starboard—"
"Huh?"
"Right side. Sorry." Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. "Forgot this wasn't an airship."
"I'm flattered," Flynn belched.
"I'll take the left side." Rainbow descended onto the edge of the cart in question. "That leaves you, Wildcard." She looked at him with sharp eyes. "I trust your wingpower... your experience... and your overall badflankery. Think you can act as our main rudder?"
Wildcard took a look at the cart, at the edge of the mesa, then took a deep breath. He nodded and positioned himself next to Seraphimus—at the very rear of the wagon.
"How can the rrest of us be of assistance, Rrainbow One?"
"We need this thing to not tip over," Rainbow said. "So we gotta distribute the weight evenly."
"Big Show goes in the center," Twilight said.
"Right. Big Show?" Rainbow looked over. "You're in the dead center."
"Ooooooh joy." The stallion nevertheless positioned himself.
"Kepler behind him. Flynn in front." Rainbow craned her neck. "How's the supplies positioned?"
"Evenly spaced out!" Ariel said. "From what I can tell!"
"Okay..." Rainbow stretched out her left wing. "We're going to have to time this perfectly. I'd say Wildcard gives us a boost... then Flynn gives the lunar command to accelerate. From then on, Ariel—as we glide through the air—you and I are going to have to compensate for any drift. When I shout a direction, that means we're going to have to provide extra lift there."
"So, basically, if you're shouting 'right,' I flap my wing like crazy?"
"Right. And when I shout 'left,' you give slack and I'll take over. You got it?"
"Totally."
"Wow, Rainbow..." Flynn smirked. "You make it sound like you've done this before."
"Not quite this exactly..." Rainbow took a breath. "But a million gazillion other things just as stupid if not stupider."
"A miracle the Blight didn't claim her," Seraphimus said. Thwack! "Gah! Damnation, Jordan—!"
"Uhm..." Fluttershy drifted in and spoke firmly. "Shouldn't we know where we'd be gliding to?"
"... ... ..." Rainbow blinked. "Good point." She looked to her side. "Rarity?"
"I'm already taking a survey, Rainbow..." Rarity squinted into the blackness, her horn glowing. "I... do believe I have a fix..."
Ariel craned her neck. "Are your friends helping out?"
"Just about." Rainbow held her hoof up. "Rarity, don't rush it. Just take it nice and easy—"
"About thirty degrees to the left," Rarity said, pointing. "Er... I-I mean... towards Alpha."
"Is that our ticket?"
Rarity looked back at her anchor. "It's the furthest stretch of flat land at the bottom of the valley... unobscured by the canyon walls."
Applejack nodded. "Sounds dang near perfect to me."
"Yes, Rainbow, I'd trust Rarity on this," Twilight said.
"Okay..." Rainbow looked at the rest of the Herald. "Rarity says we should pivot the wagon about thirty degrees towards Alpha."
"From this position?" Flynn asked.
"Exactly."
"Wildcard?" Ariel spoke, already flapping her right wing.
With a swift whistle, the Desperado dove out the back. His lower limbs landed on the mesa's top. Gripping the back of the wagon in flesh-and-metal talons, he pivoted the entire wagon slightly.
"That's it!" Rarity exclaimed. "Stop it right there!"
Rainbow flapped her left wing to stabilize. "Okay! Hold!"
Wildcard's rear legs dug into the stone. He stopped pivoting and held the wagon in place.
"So this is the direction, huh?" Logan asked.
"Seems about right," Rainbow said.
"Alright. Let's get this shit over with." Logan gestured for Wildcard to hop back in.
The Desperado jumped into place, flatting his body back against the rear of the wagon and stretching both wings out. He tightened his goggles and gave the rest of the wagon a nod.
"Okay..." Rainbow Dash took a deep breath. "Remember—no matter what happens—save your body first. We'll worry about the supplies second."
"And Seraphimus third," Flynn said.
The griffin merely grunted... although her charcoal brown eyes darted about with slightly noticeable tension.
"Nothing's a-twitchin'!" Pinkie Pie said. She smiled. "I'd say you're okay to go, Dashie!"
"That's good enough for me..." Rainbow Dash spoke over her shoulder. "Okay, Wildcard. Give us a boost!"
Clenching his beak, Wildcard flapped and flapped and flapped his wings in steadily faster motions.
The wagon drifted forward, gaining speed.
"Keep flapping..." Rainbow stuck her left wing out. "Keep flapping..." She craned her neck to watch for the drop of the cliff. "... ... ...now, Flynn!"
"M'shrynmh L'fynym!" Flynn shouted, his horn glowing.
Already boosted by Wildcard, the undercarriage's lunar dust burned to life and shot the wagon forward. The speed was just shy of a cannon, and it caught most of the Herald off guard. Kepler nearly flew off into the twilight—except that Logan's swift fetlock yanked him back onto the cart as the entire group bulleted ahead.
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh—" Fluttershy squealed, barreling after her anchor with a ripple of lavender force fields. "—sssssssssssssssssssssshoot!"
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/familyguy/images/5/50/Dukes.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20090728205843
Shoot indeed, but will you hit the target?
Now they're gonna be running in the 90s at that kind of speed!
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Sky drifting.
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"D-DOUBLE LANE SKY DORIFTO?! N-NANI?!"
I get the feeling he's been wanting to do that, just never had an excuse.
1
2
I hope this particular gag continues, WC owes her for the beat down on the lightside.
-Through the path long forgotten, into the darkness long begotten. Ofolrodi.
Oh Fluttershy, your cuteness never ceases to amaze.
Oh, and one more thing. Actually, a couple more things. Or many things I've noticed throughout this epic's tenure. I'm sure I've pointed it out before but:
Hey, lookie!
Another one!
You sure love it when characters drone on and on
Cmon, Flutters, just let it all out. Cussing's good for stress relief.
Also I just want to see you curse like a sailor. That'd be funny as shit.
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FLY AWAAAAYYYY FLY AWAY FROM HERE
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Sera has become the latest model of Zaid. All she needs now is a sense of humor and a grilled cheese.
Huh. She's actually self-aware now.
Jury's out for much longer still, Flynn.
I like this new policy.
This is going to be one heck of a fun landing!
That is just adorable
This whole hoverwagon thing reminds me a whole lot of messing with hoverballs in Gmod.
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Multi-pegasus drifting, even.
Gas, gas, gas!
Hey, at least it's fast. Maybe it won't take years to get across the Dark Side?
...
...
...seriously it'd better not take years.
It's Durandana 2.0. Just with a little bit more cursing and less sunlight.
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LOL
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I'm gonna step on the gas
Tonight I'll fly!
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To be the winner!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Welp, no risk, no reward.
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Decades.
All this thing needs is a roll cage and some mounted guns and we be Mad Max, boiz!
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Depending on how much velocity that thing is about to acquire, any pegasus trying to stabilize it in mid-air will have their work cut out for them.
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Then the cart immediately flips dropping them all into the carnivorous weeds, the end.
Guys.
Guys, what if...
What if she's not talking about the flying hover platform?
What if she is sensing life? New, alarming life?
Lets see, Lights out. Check.
Leave front door open so changelings can infest the place. Check.
Tristar engine layout with Sera in the correct place to effectively slice the control lines with one action. Check.
It couldve been worse.
I was going to get out and push.
Engage.
This is what the secret vid manacrystals that the Night Shard has scattered across the plane will see of this incident:
img.buzzfeed.com/buzzfeed-static/static/enhanced/terminal05/2012/8/16/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-19399-1345130429-6.gif?downsize=715:*&output-format=auto&output-quality=auto
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Are we talking decades in the story timeline, or decades in real life? Because with the pace Skirts sets, I could believe either.
This right here is some top tear funny shit I tell you what.
Now would be a good time to know whether this thing is more like a helicopter or a hovercraft. Does it lift by repulsing the ground? Because then they might have a slight problem...
"He"?
I can't help but imagine this scene
I love this so much.
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That's pretty cool!
Nyooooom!
The closest that Fluttershy will come to cursing. And it's so great!
Durandana how we miss thee, though brief was our visit to you.
10/21/2017
16:30 UTC
i.ytimg.com/vi/allPHn2-npY/hqdefault.jpg
My sentiments exactly.
...OK, so I guess 1 chapter wasn't on my guess list.
Sera, you knew it was gonna happen and you did it anyways. ...hoo boy, if you chill your bitch a little, you'll fit right in.
Dang, almost got a Fluttershy swear!
Vroom!